#also I’ve been in a bad mood for 2 days and busy Saturday if you wonder where I’ve been I’ll be back soon I guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

helliontherapscallion · 4 years

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(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Monday

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday (Part 1) Thursday (Part 2) Friday Saturday Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Pairing: SBI x sister!reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: swearing, toxic friends, panic spirals/attacks, injury, taking pills for pain

Summary: you have a very bad week, how will you manage? (Characters are fully human, but based on their DSMP characters. High school AU)

Word count: 4,818

(A/N): I’ve never played volleyball or watched Haikyuu before, so I’m not 100% certain how games work. Also, I probs should’ve split this into two parts, but eh.

“(Y/n) love, you look homeless in that sweater, it’s literally so fucking ugly.”

“Haha, yeah it is. I guess I just wasn’t really trying today.”

Adrian snorted, scanning your body with his cold eyes. “Today? You don’t try at all. You always look like trash.”

“More than trash, you always look like you just rolled in dog shit.” Sammy threw her head back and cackled at her own joke.

Your friends around you erupted in laughter as you four walked down the hallways of the hell that was your public high school. You awkwardly chuckled alongside them, you didn’t really find it funny, but you didn’t want to draw more attention towards yourself.

“Seriously, (y/n), I really don’t know why we still hang out around you anymore. You really let yourself go.”

“Yeah, now that I think about it, you did gain like five pounds in the past week.”

“Really not a good look on you, love. Then again, nothing you do can make you look good anymore.”

You tried to not let their comments get to you, you really did, but sometimes their comments just rooted themselves deep into your subconscious. You didn’t try looking good anymore, you couldn’t wear anything without them criticising it. You could never win.

“Awe,” Adrien poked your cheeks, “stop looking so sad. We’re just trying to give you advice. You really need it.”

“Yeah, (y/n). You’re so sensitive, get a grip.”

“Guys look, I think she’s gonna cry!”

You wiped at your welling eyes with the sleeves of your sweater. “I’m not. I just got allergies.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh. Anyways, what are our plans for Halloween? We should totally dress up like sexy angels! I think that’d be so cool. Like, Clint’s party won’t be ready for us.”

“Oh, about that Annie…”

“God, what now (y/n)?”

“I was actually planning on spending Halloween night taking Tommy and Tubbo trick-or-treating with my brothers and dad. I won’t be able to go with you guys, I’m sorry.”

The group groaned loudly. “C’mon (y/n), you never hang out with us anymore.”

“Oh my god (y/n) you still go trick-or-treating? We’re juniors.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy with my AP classes and studying for the SAT. My team captain’s really been pushing the team hard with volleyball practice. State finals are soon and we want first this year.”

“No matter how much studying you do, you’re gonna fail. You’re stupid, so why try? Just give up and hang out with uuussss.”

“Yeah (y/n),” Adrien looked at you suspiciously, “you’ve been ignoring us lately. I thought we were friends. Do you even wanna be friends anymore?”

You felt a flare of panic flare up in your gut. “I do! I-I just have so much going on right now. It’s starting to get hard to juggle everything.”

“We’re starting to think that you don’t like us anymore, we want our (y/n) back!” Sammy whined. The others agreed with her, making you feel guilty. You were ignoring them, it was selfish in your opinion. You supposed that you could skip out on taking Tommy and Tubbo trick-or-treating, there’ll be other years you could take them.

“I guess I can take Tommy and Tubbo another year. They’d just have to go without me this year.”

They cheered, giving you praise. You beamed at that, they seemed down lately and you loved it when they’d give you compliments. They didn’t do that much, so that made their praise more special to you. You strived to get compliments.

You four went off to your separate first classes for the day. Yours was statistics, a class you’ve been struggling in lately. You didn’t know anybody in there except for your oldest brother Techno, so you tried to stick with him. Unfortunately, the teacher’s seating chart placed you both on opposite ends of the room, probably because of your last names indicating that you’re siblings. You placed your stuff down on the table and plopped down into your seat, already drained. You had a long day ahead of you; you had a major AP world history test in your next class, you had to give a presentation in your AP english class that was worth a quarter of your final grade, and you had a semifinals volleyball match that would last until late in the night. If your team won, you would be going to state finals, so it was a lot of pressure on your shoulders. You were the main setter, so you had to really focus tonight if you were going to score your team points.

“Alright class, pull out your homework!”

Fuck, you had homework? You looked in your folder, only to see the unfinished sheet full of equations you didn’t understand staring back at you tauntingly. Mr. Mullins walked over to your desk, took one look at your blank homework, and just walked right past you. Another big fat zero in the gradebook for you, just what you needed. At least he wasn’t in the mood to berate you today. You didn’t need any more stress piled onto your shoulders.

The lesson felt like it dragged on forever with you frantically trying to copy down the notes on the board and trying to understand the content at the same time. Overtime, he would call students up to the board. Hopefully, he would skip over you today. “Ms. Minecraft.” Goddamn it, you spoke too soon.

Your head perked up and you looked at him. “Yes sir?”

“Come up to the board and solve this.”

Gulping, you felt panic rise up in you and stood up with shaky knees. On the board was part of the newer content he was just teaching. Something that you understood only a little bit better than the rest, and that’s not saying much. You still didn’t understand the content completely. Your writing was shaky as you wrote what you thought was right on the board. Finding the answer, you circled it and looked at Mr. Mullins. He looked disappointed.

“That’s wrong, Ms. Minecraft. Please sit down.”

You felt like your face was on fire as you saw the entire class burning holes into you with their eyes. Though they looked dead inside, as per usual with any morning class full of tired teenagers, their effects still took hold on you. You wanted to crawl into a dark hole and die. You sat back down and stared at your note packet, you couldn’t focus on the lecture anymore. Your attention was fully on your surroundings, you were hyper aware of every little whisper and bouncing leg in your peripheral vision. You could feel yourself spiraling, usually that wouldn’t happen until after your third class. Today was going to be rough.

The loud chime of the bell startled you out of your thoughts. You shakily put your papers back into your binder and put the binder back into your backpack. Right as you were about to walk through the door, you heard Techno catch up to you. “Hey, you good?”

“Yeah Tech, I’m just peachy.”

“Are you su-”

“Technoblade. I’m fine. Now if you excuse me, I have to get to my next class. I have an important presentation I’ve gotta prepare for.”

Without giving him any room to argue, you rushed off to your english class. You had Adrian and Annie in your class. For your presentation, you were paired up with people that you hardly knew. At least they did their part in the project, you were certain you were going to die if you got paired up with Adrian and Annie again. You loved them, but they never did any part of their portion of work. They left it to you to finish at midnight the day the project was due. To be fair, they both told you they had family emergencies, so you covered for them just that once.

You pulled out your flashcards only to have them knocked out of your hand when someone bumped into you. You quickly crouched to pick them up so you could have them in order by time class started. “Oops, sorry love.”

It was Annie. She and Adrian towered over your crouched form smirking at you. Looking back down to rearrange your cards, you murmured “it’s ok.”

“Are you ready for this presentation, I know I am.”

You smiled a little. “Actually, I think I’m going to ace this. English is my best subject.”

“Yeah (y/n), I wasn’t asking you. I was talking to Annie. Besides, you’re probably going to fail this.” Adrian scoffed.

“Thank you for asking, Adrian,” Annie shot a pointed look at you, “at least someone cares.”

The bell rang, signifying the start of your second block. You felt like you had a lump in your throat blocking your breathing. If Adrian, one of the smartest kids in your english class, said that you were going to fail, then you probably were going to fail. That would take a huge hit on your grade, this project was worth a quarter of your final grade after all. You were zoned out for the entirety of your classmate’s presentations putting yourself into a spiral. You jumped when Mr. Todd, your teacher, called your group up to present.

You stood stiffly in the middle of your two groupmates and clutched your flashcards with clammy hands. Luckily, your part of the presentation was not first. When it came to your part, you were stuttering and tumbling over your words. You even dropped your flashcards in front of everybody, causing half the class to snicker. Your face burned as you hurried to pick them up and your other groupmate took this as a signal to continue the presentation. You still had an important point to make that was integral for the set up to your other groupmate’s part of her presentation. You stared at your flashcards for the rest of the presentation.

When the bell rang, you made a mad dash out of the classroom. You didn’t want to talk to anybody, especially not Adrian or Annie. It was a relief that you had your lunch period at the moment. You could hide yourself in the bathroom nobody used and let your panic attack ride itself out.

You ducked inside a stall and sat on the toilet, bringing your knees up to bury your face in them. The tears and panic you were holding in all day let itself out with explosive effects. You started to hyperventilate as you muffled your sobs with your knee. Your chest painfully clenched so you couldn’t breathe. Your limbs felt like they weighed two tons each and they were shaking intensely. You didn’t hear the end of the lunch bell ring. By the time you calmed down slightly, you were five minutes late to AP world history.

You packed your stuff up in a hurry, power walking through the halls. You probably looked like shit, but you didn’t care, you had a class to get to and a test that you probably wouldn’t be able to finish now. You lost ten minutes of your test time. When you tried to open the closed door, you found that it was locked. You had to knock if you wanted to get in. You raised a shaking hand to knock, but the door was opened by a less-than-impressed Ms. Osborne. She ushered you to your desk and gave you your unit test.

You couldn’t focus. The multiple choice section was usually a breeze to you, but you couldn’t comprehend any of the questions. When you could comprehend them, you couldn’t concentrate on choosing an answer. You did your best to find the correct answers, but you were almost positive that at least half of them were wrong. Your handwriting was nearly incomprehensible and your essay topic was something you didn’t study for. When you were done with half of the body paragraphs, the bell rang and you had to turn in your unfinished test.

You had your independent online psychology course next in the library. You usually worked alone secluded in a corner deep inside the library where nobody went. You would get some solace in being alone. Maybe you’d calm down enough so that you could ride home with your brothers and not go for a long walk so you could avoid them.

You settled down in the comfortable chair and pulled out your laptop to get started. Psychology was your favorite class. It was easy for you to understand, it didn’t have much of a workload attached to it, and it was fun to learn about. It always calmed you down reading about the intricate workings of the brain.��

By time the day was over, you got most of your psychology work done and you were on your way to the car you shared with Technoblade and Wilbur. You took out your spare keys and slumped against the window in the backseat. You were absolutely drained after your terrible day and you still felt panic swirling deep within you, waiting for the right moment to strike.

You stretched out your legs across the seat and leaned your back against the door. For the first time that day, you felt peaceful. You still had at least fifteen minutes to yourself until your brothers would start to make your way to the car. You felt the panic subside slightly and you fully relaxed. You closed your eyes and let yourself drift off into a light sleep. You needed your energy for tonight’s match.

The door you were leaning on swung open and you tumbled backwards smacking the back of your head against the metal frame of the car and reverse scorpioning onto the pavement. Your entire upper back and the back of your head exploded in pain and your lower back hurt slightly from having your back bent uncomfortably. You heard laughter above you as you felt tears of pain start to slip out of your eyes. Your legs swung out from their place above your face and landed on the ground with a painful thump.

You saw three blurry figures above you laughing at your pain. You reached up with a shaky hand to wipe at your tears and saw Adrian, Sammy, and Annie. They were cackling as you shakily stood up and sat on the comfortable seats of the car. You waited patiently for them to calm down.

Eventually, Sammy calmed down enough to explain what happened to you through chuckles. “I’m sorry (y/n), it was just too good to resist. You should’ve seen your face.”

She and the others broke back into uncontrolled laughter as they remembered your embarrassing fall. You were used to their antics, and quite frankly it felt good to make your friends laugh, even if it were at your own expense. Just as they were calming down once again, you saw Wilbur and Techno walk out the front doors of the school laughing at something the other said. Annie and Sammy heard their laughter and quickly turned around to watch them. They had massive crushes on both of your brothers, many in the school did.

Your brothers made their way to your shared car and stopped to look at you in slight confusion. “(Y/n), were you crying? What happened?” Wilbur asked worriedly.

“Yea-”

“Oh Wilbur, it was terrible, (y/n) fell out of the car. I don’t think she closed the door before she leaned on it.” Annie interrupted you with a faked concerned tone, a complete contradiction to her reaction before your brothers came.

Techno hastily made his way to the driver’s side door. “Well, if she’s hurt we better get going, right Wilbur?”

“Yes! We better get going, please excuse us.” He sat in the passenger seat and closed the door without hearing Sammy and Annie’s desperate attempts to stop them so they could talk to them. Your brothers thought Sammy and Annie were annoying. They absolutely hated being around them.

Waving apologetically at your friends, you pulled yourself into the car and closed the door. Annie and Sammy looked offended that you had let Wilbur and Techno get away from them. Avoiding their eyes, you looked down at your tightly clasped hands. They were shaking slightly.

After pulling out of the parking lot, Techno glanced at you from the rearview mirror. “You ok (y/n)?”

“Yeah, my back just hurts and I have a headache.”

“Well, do you wanna go and get some ice cream? We still have some time left before we have to pick up Tommy and Tubbo. Dad doesn’t have to know,” Wilbur asked you.

You sighed, you wanted nothing other than to take a nap before your match. “Sorry, but I need to watch what I eat today. We have semifinals tonight and I can’t have anything sugary. I just wanna go home and take a nap.”

Your brothers were quiet for the rest of the car ride until you reached your driveway. Techno twisted his body around in his seat to look at you after he put the car in park. “Did you actually fall out of the car?”

Shit, should you tell him the truth? If you did, they would almost certainly get mad at your friends. Sammy and Annie would never forgive you if you turned your brothers against them. You decided that you would take one for the team again. “Yeah, I wasn’t paying attention.”

Techno snorted. “Well, that was stupid,” he jokingly said. “Next time you’re gonna get run over by a parked car.”

You knew that he meant that as a joke, but it still stung. Stamping your emotions down, you laughed with him and Wilbur. It was stupid of you to do, you shouldn’t have let your guard down if you weren’t at home.

You winced as you slung your bag on your back and walked the best you could back into your house. Your upper back was killing you. You made a beeline to the bathroom and rummaged through the medicine cabinet looking for some pain relief pills. You took some and shambled off to your room to take your well earned nap. You set your alarm’s setting to its loudest volume and passed out.

You jolted up and gasped when you felt a wave of pain hit your upper back. You blearily looked at the time. You had a little under two hours before you had to get back to the school for your match. You groaned when you pulled yourself up, your head pounding with every turn. You pulled yourself out of bed and once again took some pain pills. You went downstairs to grab an apple or something to eat. Your dad was at the stove stirring something around in a pot.

He turned to look at you with an excited smile. “You ready for your match tonight? You’re gonna kill it!”

You only nodded halfheartedly and plopped yourself down at the table with your apple. Philza frowned at your lack of enthusiasm, but he figured that it was just because you just woke up from a nap. You’d bounce back eventually.

“Wilbur told me that you fell out of the car? How’d you do that?”

You shrugged, wincing slightly as it moved your back slightly. “Dunno, must’ve not closed the door.”

Philza was at your side in a hurry, his hands hovering over your shoulders. “Did you get hurt? Show me where it hurts.”

“My back and the back of my head.”

“Can I move your shirt so I could look?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

You felt him gently pull the neck of your t-shirt away from your body to peek at your back. You heard his breath hitch as he looked. Was it that bad? “Good god (y/n),” he breathed out.

“What, is it bad?”

“Don’t you feel how bad it is? Your entire back is bruised. I think there’s some blood too.”

“Damn.”

“First, language. Second, that’s all you have to say? Aren’t you in pain?”

“Yeah, but the pain pills are gonna kick in soon. I’ll be fine.”

“Would you be able to play tonight? I really think you should sit this one out.”

“No, I’m playing tonight Dad.”

“(Y/n),” oh no, he was using his stern dad voice. “It’s not a good idea to play tonight. You’re hurt, I’m sure they’ll understand if you sit this one out.”

You felt frustration rise up in you. “We’re in the semifinals. They need me, I’m the main setter. They’d lose without me playing.”

“(Y/n), I’m serious. You’re not playing today.”

“Dad, I am playing today. Look, I’ll talk to Coach Williams to see if I could be rotated out more often. I know she’d let me.”

He stared at you for a while before sighing. He knew there was no convincing you. “...Fine. But you better talk to Coach Williams about sitting out for a bit if your back hurts too much or I swear I’ll drag you off the court myself.”

You smiled a little at the small victory. “Thank you! I promise I’ll sit out if needed.”

He quirked an eyebrow at you. “If needed?”

You sighed, “when needed.”

He walked over to the pot, stirring the contents slightly. “That’s better. Dinner’s almost ready, I made some pasta.”

“It smells good, but I think I’m skipping out on it for today. I already ate this apple and if I eat any more I’ll probably hurl on the court.”

He made a displeased noise in the back of his throat, “fine, but you’re eating something when we get home tonight.”

He walked off to go get your brothers and Tubbo for dinner. You could hear their booming steps racing down the stairs towards the kitchen. They raced into the kitchen and almost crashed into the back of your chair. You stood up and looked at the two excitable fifth graders. “Careful boys, don’t want you getting hurt.”

“You’re no fun (y/n),” Tommy whined.

“Sure, sorry bout that,” Tubbo beamed at you.

You chuckled, making your way upstairs to get ready for your match. You took off your clothes with great difficulty and slipped on your jersey and your spandex shorts. They were way too short for your tastes, but you couldn’t wear longer ones, they’d just get in the way. You fondly remembered how your dad flipped out when he first saw you in them, he hated them with a burning passion. He still hates how short they are.

When you were struggling with pulling your hair back into a tight, sleek ponytail, the back of your head throbbed continuously with pain. You most likely bruised your scalp.

You slipped on your shoes that were made specifically for playing volleyball and headed downstairs. You were met with Tommy and Tubbo jumping in excitement seeing you in your uniform. They loved going to your matches, even if they would always pass out in the car after them because matches usually ended late at night. You grabbed your dad’s keys and headed to his car. Before you could lead the boys out the door, Philza’s voice stopped you.

“(Y/n), coat.”

You huffed, grabbing your coat and putting it on before tossing him his keys. You four got into the car and set out for the high school. The short drive was filled with Tommy and Tubbo asking you questions about volleyball and encouraging you. “(Y/n), you’re gonna kick their butts!”

“Yeah!” Tubbo cheered

Despite their voices causing a spike of pain to shoot throughout your head, you laughed at their enthusiasm. It was always nice to hear your little brother and pseudo brother in the stands cheering you on, they were your and your team’s personal cheerleaders.

Not long after you got to the school, you were stretching with your team on the gym’s floor. Your posse found their way into the stands, sitting in the front row. The away team watched your team like a hawk, analysing every single player for any weakness. It was because of them that you tried to not show any pain when you moved your back. You talked to Coach Williams before the team stretch and she was obviously sympathetic with your situation. She agreed to switching you out with the standby setter every few rotations.

The echo of the whistles caused pain to ring in your head every time someone scored or a foul was called. Your team captain, Haley, was constantly, yet discreetly checking on you throughout the game since she was always next to you. She was the team’s main spiker after all.

The game droned on and on before you realized that the opposing team was targeting you when they were offensive. They probably realized that you were injured a round ago. You tried your best to block every ball that was sent your way, but a few managed to slip past you when you couldn’t move fast enough. This team was good, but your team was better.

The score during the final round was tied and the clock was on it’s last ten seconds as the ball soared your way. You dove to hit it, landing on your shoulder on the hard floor and hitting it up high enough for Haley to spike the ball down. The crowd went wild as the ball bounced off from the opposite end of the court almost simultaneously with the screeching of the referee’s whistle, signifying the end of the game and your team’s victory.

You laid on the floor in pain, you thought you must’ve pulled your tender muscles in your back and shoulder. It hurt to move it. You felt one of your teammates grab your hand to yank you up into a giant full team group hug. You yelped slightly in pain as you felt arms press against your back and hands firmly patting your bruised shoulders. You were whisked away into the locker room to change into the pajamas you brought with you.

“(Y/n), are you alright? That was a pretty hard fall.” Haley’s soft voice asked you. You felt your heart sing in your chest.

“Yeah Hales, I’m fine. I just pulled a few muscles.”

Her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowed together, “are you sure? As your team captain and your friend, I’m worried about you.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. You felt warm knowing that she cared about you. “I’m sure, worrywart.”

She rolled her eyes playfully and breathed out a soft laugh. “Sorry for asking, grump.” Her laugh sounded like music to your ears.

Your phone vibrated in your pajama pocket, alerting you of your family waiting for you in the car and for you to hurry up. You sighed, “sorry Hales, I gotta go. Dad’s getting impatient.”

She gave you a small smile. “Oh, well, tell your family I said hi! Good work on the court today, I wouldn’t ask for a different setter.”

You felt your cheeks warm up and you watched with wide eyes as she left the locker room. Your phone vibrated again, your dad was really starting to get impatient.

You walked out of the school as fast as you could to find your dad’s car waiting for you up front. Jumping in and softly closing the passenger side door, you slumped against the window. “(Y/n),” Tommy’s tired voice slurred. “That. Was. Pog…”

You glanced back to see him and Tubbo snoring away in their seats. Your match was more exciting than usual, so that must’ve really tired them out. You chuckled, turning back around to lean against the window. You took care not to put any weight on your shoulder or back.

“(Y/n), you were amazing out there, but why did you dive for that ball? That fall looked like it hurt.”

You hummed tiredly, “thanks Dad. I just did what I thought would win us the game. We’re going to finals!” You quietly sang.

“Did you hurt your shoulder?”

“I actually don’t know, but I think I might’ve pulled a few muscles. Nothing too bad.”

“...I scheduled a doctor’s appointment for you tomorrow morning during your first and second blocks. I want you to get your back, shoulder, and head looked at. You looked miserable the entire match.”

You sighed, too tired to argue, “mmk.”

He chuckled before the car fell into a comfortable silence. The gentle bouncing of the car and the subtle hum of the engine was lulling you to sleep. Your eyelids were drooping by the time you pulled into your driveway.

You drug yourself out of the car and into the house, leaving Philza with the sleeping boys. You walked straight to your room and plopped down on your bed, passing out instantly for the second time that day.

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cosmiclatte28 · 4 years

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Tongue Piercing (Yuta x reader)

A/n : the promised, Nakamoto Yuta tongue piercing scenario :D not the best out there, but y’all are thirsty for yuta’s tongue piercing jk lol or yes?

also happy lunar new year! (づ￣ 3￣)づ

tags : to my fellow yuta simps :”) @yutahoes @ailoveyuta @2-3-t-i

warning : suggestive, piercings, yuta is a flirt (but so are you)

enjoy~~

“Back here again Nakamoto?” You ask after hearing the small bell on the door chimes. You glance from cleaning up the greeting table to the tall man with a gummy smile portrayed on his face.

“Yes I'm here as you can see.” He shrugs his shoulder and takes off the cap and mask he used to hide his face.

You watch the clock and notice it's already working time. You wonder where your colleagues are, it's a bit unusual for them to be late.

“Alone?” The man asks you once again as he walks to stand in front of you.

You nod, this is Nakamoto Yuta, a regular customer in your tattoo and piercing parlor and he is your boyfriend. Well don’t be surprised at your morning encounter, he is an idol so he doesn’t live with you. You rarely check your phone in the morning, so maybe you missed his message about coming here.

“What are you planning to do? Visiting me or you're here for something else?” you fold your hands over your chest leaning on to the table you've just cleaned.

Yuta smirks and pulls your chin “Is that how you greet your boyfriend?”

Before you can roll your eyes for his clingy behaviour, he already takes over your lips with a short kiss and that’s that.

“I am here to visit you and at the same time for a new pierce.” He cups your cheeks and you just wait for him to explain everything.

“Didn’t we agree you had enough already this month?” you ask in your squished cheek phase and Yuta giggles at that and he pulls his body away from you.

“I am not talking about my ears.” He says as he pulls a small mirror he found on the desk and examines his ear. You were right, his ear has had enough!

“Then where?” you ask a little bit shy.

Yuta cocks his head upon hearing your cracked voice “I guess you were thinking of wild things… judging by your cracked voice.”

You shake your head and mumble in your heart “Come on be professional about this.”

You take a deep breath and smile “Okay so tell me Yuta where do you exactly want the new piercing?”

“Actually after getting one for my navel, I really want to have another one in my tongue.” Your face fall and he has the audacity to click his tongue and winks at you.

“Tongue?” you stutter at him. He nods and licks his lips slightly.

“That hurts so much Yuta!” you yell a little bit at him.

He nods “I’m aware of that.”

You shake your head “Are you sure? Like really… I always make sure my customer are ready if they ask for a tongue piercing.”

Yuta teasingly leans closer to you “And honey who else should I trust in piercing my tongue if it's not you?”

Your mouth can only open and close like a fish and Yuta pinches your nose “Now, why don’t you get the needle ready before the store gets crowded and you'll be busy with your clients. It's a relieve I am here alone with you.”

He pushes you lightly to the working room and you can only hide in the store room as you prepare the needle and anesthesia needed.

Yuta has taken the seat like piercing was nothing big nor painful. This man can be a masochist who enjoys the pain. Gosh … you shake your head as you bring all the equipment to the table and puts over your sanitary gloves and mask.

“Do you bring the stud already?”

He nods and reaches to his pocket, then gives it to you. You nod, nothing new. Something simple only a round ball stud.

“Have you eaten a good meal?” you try to lighten the mood. Yuta nods “I've eaten all the good stuff. I know I won’t be able to eat painlessly for several week but I'm on a diet for a comeback don’t worry.”

You sigh “Okay, well if this is what you want I'm glad I got to be the one doing this. I'll make sure there's no regret and it's gonna be pretty.” You wink at him.

Yuta chuckles “Gosh I cannot wait to kiss you!”

You slap his firm tight “Pervert! You shouldn’t kiss not until I make sure there is no inflammation or infection! Now open up that mouth baby,” your voice turns husky within a gulp and you're glad no one else is here.

Yuta taps your ass “Wasn’t I the one in charge?”

You click your tongue “Not for today, I guess. Now open,” you gently hold his chin as Yuta’s eyes glisten when he sees you inject the anesthesia to him.

“Close your eyes, let me focus.” You wink and start doing your job.

It doesn’t take much time; you know Yuta can literally bare any slight pain when it comes to piercing.

You place the metal ball and finish the last touch. After making sure you’re done, you tap his shoulder.

“All done! Now, the pain will come in like another half of an hour. I suggest you drink a pain killer and please let me know if you feel any pain okay?” You cup his cheeks into your palm.

Yuta smiles through the numb feel in his tongue, he opens his mouth to talk but his tongue still cannot cooperate. You giggle and kiss his nose, “Don’t worry. Your tongue should be numb, and you can’t talk well for a while. But it’s regular.” Yuta only nods and he gets up to leave the chair.

You walk him to the front desk again and find your colleague already standing there.

“Alright, I’ll go.” Yuta speaks unclearly but you nod your head and just give him a thumbs up.

“Oh! Take this with you, you’ll need it.” You put your lip balm in his palm and he only smirks when he sees you blushing.

Yuta knows that is the favorite cherry lip balm he always smooches from you, and he knows you’re sending him some naughty ideas to his head.

You did not see Yuta for the last week, it’s already ten days since you pierced his tongue, five days since he came to have them checked for any problems, and after you told him he is already ready to use his tongue like usual, he’s gone.

You understand he is busy with his practices, but you did not expect him to suddenly knock on your door one Saturday night, looking all hot in his sleeveless black shirt.

“Oh! You didn’t tell me you’re coming.” You peek from your door, actually not prepared to receive him in your house. You haven’t really cleaned up your mess and you yourself look so plain and messy.

Yuta smirks “Does a boyfriend need to set a schedule to come visit his own girl? Move aside, let me in before anyone notices I am here and before I found any man in your room other than me.”

You roll your eyes and open the door for him, he directly enters without much hesitation. Running his eyes through the room and make a quick scan on you.

He chuckles, “Isn’t that a bit too revealing?” he asks when he notices your super worn out tee shirt and shorts. Well they’re the best to sleep In with so you don’t mind using such worn out clothes that happened to be “revealing” to Yuta.

You pull the sleeves of your tee up and shrug “Nah, it’s super cool with this, also I am sleeping alone Yuta. No one bothers what I am wearing.”

He places his bag down and jumps to the sofa on your living room.

“Good, no other man here.” He giggles as he pats your head. You sigh “Really? You came just to check if I am cheating on you?”

He raises his brow “Can’t I come? Didn’t you miss me? It’s been more than a week.”

You smile “Well, I have a quiet week without you! Quite a good one, but you could’ve texted me, and you know I could..” you rub your neck

Yuta leans closer “Could what?” his playful smirk comes up to his face.

You push him back “Could clean the house and prepare some food or drink for you.”

He giggles “No need, I’ve eaten dinner. I thought you said you would’ve worn a nicer lingerie.”

You smack his thigh and he yells “Why are you so rough right now, I am just kidding.”

“No sexy lingerie. I don’t have one.” You lean to your sofa, eyes watching the movie playing in front of you.

Yuta chuckles “Are you telling me that you want me to get you one?”

You want to punch him right then and there, but you know that will just make him tease you more.

So, you grit your teeth and punch him several times “If that makes you happy, yes go on buy me one! A lacy one okay! Damn it Yuta and his pervert head.” You launch your playful attack back at him and he just laughs.

“Alright alright, I know what you like, don’t worry.” He winks and licks his lips.

That’s when you remember your boyfriend has a piercing.

“Ah! Yuta let me see the piercing!!” you pull his chin and that makes the man flustered

Yuta sticks out his tongue and there you can see your wonderful professional work of piercing.

“It’s pretty! Do you mind, if I take a picture for a testimony?” you pull out your puppy eyes and phone.

Yuta clicks his tongue “I can do that,”

With that you make your boyfriend sticks his tongue out nicely and he’s a good model. You got a few good pictures that you’ll print and put on your office for references.

“Now, that you said I can do anything with my tongue, and you’ve done your job… can we try what I’ve been wanting since last time?” your boyfriend pulls you closer to him and lifts you up to his lap when you nod your head shyly.

“Don’t be shy, you knew too much to be acting innocent. I know you wanted to kiss me so bad too.” He nuzzles his nose to yours and you stick your forehead to his.

“Hmm? What do you mean?” your eyes twinkle in front of his.

Yuta fishes something out of his pocket and your eyes follow his hand. You blush when you see him shaking the cherry lip balm you gave to him.

“You knew I wanted to kiss you, but that was not allowed… so you gave me this? So I can feel like I am kissing you, right?” He raises his brow.

You look away from him, cursing his smart head for getting your message.

“But as much as I am thankful for this balm, I want to taste it from your lips.” He pops the balm open and spreads it over your mouth. Your eyes grow wide as you feel your stomach tingles at how close you are to him. You’re on his lap, one of his strong arms is holding your waist thumb barely touching your exposed skin from the worn shirt, while his other hand is applying a balm over your lips.

You balance yourself by placing your hands over his shoulder and when he pops back the lip balm lid, you smack your lips and dive into his lips. Yuta smirks as he savors you and you have to remind yourself there is a metal ball in his tongue that you’re battling with. Damn it’s hot, but still you don’t want to hurt him.

Yuta’s hands find their way to pick you up by your waist and you tighten your hands over his neck. He walks his way to your bedroom he knew by heart and for once you’re glad you always keep your bed clean or pausing to clean the bed up will ruin everything.

Once Yuta sets you down on your bed, you both part to gasp for air and you can feel your cheeks burning.

“That was hot,” you say between your breaths.

Yuta winks “I did not regret this at all, are you in?” he asks your concern, though this was nothing new, Yuta always wants to make sure he has your concern before continuing.

You nod and he leads you in.

“Gosh I really have to buy you sexy laces, huh?” he teases you and you hit him “Yak! Faster, don’t drive the attention elsewhere.”

Yuta licks his lips one more time when his eyes run over your body on your bed. He’s glad he got home tonight and he’s glad to see you after a long week.

You face Yuta who is lying on your side. Your naked bodies are still sweaty in the cold room, but with the covers and Yuta’s warm hug you don’t shiver at all. His fingers brush your hairs away from your face and he looks at you with stars in his eyes.

“I love you so much,” he blurts out

You stifle a laugh “Suddenly?”

He nods “Yeah, Every time I see you, I don’t want to lose you.”

You trace circles on his biceps and lay your head on his chest. You snake your arms into his torso and hug him close

“I am not going anywhere, don’t worry Yuta. I love you too.” You peck his nose and he giggles.

“I’m glad I found you.”

“Me too,”

“So, what color do you want for your lace?” he wriggles his eye brow.

You laugh “Whatever suits your taste, I can rock them honey.”

Yuta kisses your cheek “Naughty! But I like it.”

You taunt at him “So, where do you want the next piercing to be?”

Yuta smirks “I don’t know, surprise me?”

end

I- just had the courage to post this

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spacedikut · 4 years

Text

“i want to love someone and be loved” ; spencer reid - part 2

pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x f!reader

summary: spencer decides it’s time to tell you, but he needs some help. 3887 words. part 1

a/n: THIS is the longest fic ive ever written but im actually kinda proud of how it turned out? i hope this is a good sequel :)

Spencer chickens out of telling you the next day.

He avoids you all weekend, actually. You resisted texting him the day after Rossi’s because you assumed he’d be busy – with his big plan involving a girl that isn’t you. You’re not bitter – but Sunday comes around and you message him not long after you wake up and six hours later there’s no response.

Twelve hours later - there’s no response.

Monday, you don’t have time to say hello to anyone – there’s a case waiting for you, somewhere in Florida.

Reid avoids your eyes. His body language tells you something is wrong, so you assume whoever he confessed to didn’t reciprocate (they’re insane) and he’s dealing with it. So you don’t press.

Spencer pretends to sleep the entire jet ride. He’s avoiding everyone, not just you.

He spent the whole weekend beating himself up. He drove to your apartment on Saturday, sat outside for so long a neighbour knocked on his window and asked if he was lost, but couldn’t bring himself to step foot out of his car.

So he locked himself in his room, away from you and your loveliness and away from his phone because he knew you texted him and he knew you’d send some soft message about being there for him if he needs anything and he didn’t need to be reminded of how beautiful and out of reach you are.

Derek seemed to be waiting for him Monday morning, arms crossed as he held a cup of coffee. It was weird seeing him in before Spencer.

“How’d it go?” He immediately asked.

“How’d what go?” Spencer mumbles, flinging his bag on the floor by his desk. He slumps in his seat.

Derek raises a dark eyebrow, “You know what, pretty boy. You had a big thing? Big plan?”

“Didn’t work out.”

It doesn’t take a profiler to realise Spencer is very clearly saying leave me alone. Leave it alone.

Derek isn’t one to leave it alone. Especially when it comes to Spencer.

He sighs and moves a little closer to Spencer’s desk, just in case someone overhears them.

“What happened?”

“That’s exactly it,” Spencer slams open a file, “Nothing happened.”

“And why did nothing happen?”

“Because I’m an idiot that can’t even tell a girl how I feel.”

“Whoa- hey!”

Derek spins Spencer’s chair so they’re face to face. Derek takes one look in Spencer’s eyes and knows what’s going on – he got too into his head and backed out at the last minute.

“You’re not an idiot. Why didn’t you do it?”

Spencer shrugs, “I got to her apartment. I had flowers, too. I don’t know.”

Derek’s evidently concerned – Spencer’s beaten up over this, over whoever this girl is, and he deserves the chance to experience love. Spencer deserves a lot more than he himself thinks he does.

“You seemed really excited, man. You can still do it. Just cause you try once and it doesn’t work out doesn’t mean you can’t ever try again.”

Spencer stares off into the distance, accidentally ignoring Derek as his thoughts slip out of his mouth, “Yeah, it probably wouldn’t have worked anyway – I was stupid to think I could get someone like her.”

“Hey, no.” Derek nudges Spencer’s shoulder so he looks at him again, “Don’t talk like that. You’re one hell of a guy, Reid. All you gotta do is get that confidence that you had Friday night back, and you’re all set. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Spencer gives a feeble nod. Derek moves back to his desk, knowing he isn’t convinced, but he isn’t done yet.

+++

Later, in Florida, Spencer’s making a coffee in the precinct’s kitchen after waiting twenty minutes for you to leave. Luck’s on his side, for once, and you’ve been working non-stop with Prentiss going crime scene to crime scene so he hasn’t had to actively avoid you. You smile at him every chance you get, though, and it distracts him.

Someone clears their throat behind him. It’s Penelope, whom Spencer didn’t realise was invited on this case.

She looks guilty. Spencer recognises that face; the face she has when she’s done something she shouldn’t have or knows something she isn’t really supposed to. Given current circumstances, Spencer bets it’s the latter reason.

“Morgan told me something he shouldn’t have.”

Bingo.

He leans against the kitchen counter, stirring his coffee absentmindedly.

“What did he tell you?” He asks, feigning tranquillity. Inside he’s screaming non-stop.

She’s got her hands clasped together in front of her, almost innocently, and fiddles with her fingers, “He told me you needed assistance in the love department.” Before he can object, she continues, “And I am willing to do anything if it means our resident weirdo-slash-genius falls in love and gets to experience some much needed cuteness.”

There’s no point in lying to her. There’s also no point in being mad that Morgan told her about his situation – they’re kind of a package deal. And, who knows, Garcia might be able to help.

“So…” She sways, trying (and failing) to appear nonchalant, “Who’s the lucky lady?”

Spencer shuffles on the spot, scuffing his shoes against the floor. He debates whether he should tell her, since, you know, you’re in the next room over, but Spencer worries that Garcia is so good at her job she’d somehow find out through hacking Spencer’s phone, or maybe somehow hacking his dreams. His subconscious. He’s terrified of Garcia and her abilities.

“You can tell me.” She insists, “I’m much better at keeping secrets than Morgan.”

Spencer turns away from her, she steps closer, and he mumbles your name.

“What?”

“Y/N.”

“WHAT?!”

Spencer spins, hands coming up to tell Garcia to shut up and Garcia immediately covers her mouth in both shock and hopefully so she doesn’t shout again.

“Since when?!” She screeches. “How could I not have known?! Oh God, almighty Doctor Reid, I feel like I’ve failed you by not realising earlier.”

Her enthusiasm makes him smile, for the first time in far too long. Garcia has that power – this innate skill to comfort those around her and make them feel special, make them smile when the world feels like its collapsing.

“Let me help!” She requests.

Spencer’s clearly hesitant. He knows it’s a bad idea.

“Please!” She begs, “I just- I have so many ideas of how you can go about this. Let me brainstorm, get back to you, and if I’m too over-the-top you can tell me no and we’ll pretend it never happened!”

He takes a deep breath. Yes, Garcia is the definition of over-the-top, but that’s one of his favourite things about her. It’s your favourite thing, too. And he did tell Morgan he had big plans. Anything involving Garcia is a big plan with big payoff.

“This is between us.”

“I’ll take it to the grave. Unless you realise how amazing my ideas are and use one to tell Y/N how you feel and then years later I get to commend myself during my maid of honour speech at your wedding.”

She looks ecstatic, hands now together under her jaw as her eyes twinkle. Spencer can’t help but laugh at her eagerness.

+++

The next day, the team returns to Quantico after a semi-successful case. The general mood is good and Morgan invites everyone out for drinks – Spencer declines, but you have your first full conversation since last Friday.

“C’mon, Spence,” Your head rests against the jet seat and you blink sleepily at him, “I feel like I haven’t spoken to you for years!”

Spencer gives you a small smile, “I promised my mom I’d call her tonight. Sorry, Y/N.”

You nod in understanding, “Will you tell her I say hi?”

“Of course. She loves you.”

You grin at eachother, immediately lost in your own world. You’ve missed him more than you realised, and you have no idea what’s going through his head, but you’re happy that you’ve had this – a Spencer Reid smile that makes you feel at home and on top of the world simultaneously.

Spencer has to tear his eyes away before he blurts something stupid, like she’s not the only one that loves you.

+++

“Spencer!” Garcia greets, Cheshire cat grin on her face. “I need to see you in my dungeon, please. Immediately.”

Spencer drops the file he’s holding. Unfortunately, Penelope’s request caught the attention of the whole team.

“What business do you have in the villain’s lair, Reid?” Derek asks. You’ve looked up from your computer, Emily smirking and leaning back in her chair in expectation.

“Uh…”

“Important nerd business. Go away.” Garcia says, eyes narrow as she tugs Spencer’s hand. He’s whisked away from any further questioning, leaving the befuddled team behind.

He isn’t sure what to expect when he stumbles into Penelope’s second home, but the display in front of him explains why he overheard a conversation about missing evidence boards earlier. Penelope’s obviously been using the new printer in her cave to her advantage – there’s at least twenty different pictures printed out on one board titled “date ideas”, then the board on the right has a picture of Spencer and you in the centre with a perfectly drawn heart around it. Under and around that is a mixture of love quotes, including song lyrics and quotes directly from romantic movies. He notices “The Parliament of Fowls” on there – Garcia remembers that he mentioned it’s considered the first Valentines poem?

“Whoa,” Is all he can say.

“I know it’s a little intense,” Garcia squirms, “But! I started scrolling through Pinterest and couldn’t stop. I don’t know what came over me, maybe some type of love deity, but I started thinking about you and Y/N in a classic love film in, like, black and white and I…”

She’s out of breath from animatedly explaining.

Spencer laughs through his nose, almost a scoff, but he’s impressed. He shouldn’t have expected anything else from the Penelope Garcia.

As Spencer wanders towards the first board, Garcia follows him like a shadow, “My personal favourite is-“ She points to a picture of chocolate fondue with faceless people in very little clothing, “-this one.”

Spencer awkwardly clears his throat when he begins to think of you and him like that.

“A little much for your declaration of love, though, I get it,” Garcia nods.

He scans the board – heart speeding up when he moves from idea to idea and picturing you and him in each one. He can’t help but think no, that one would be good for our anniversary – ah, she’d love to do that one for her birthday.

“What’re you thinking?” Garcia asks quietly. She knows his brain is whirring like her computer drive, so she approaches him gently.

“This one.” He says. “Where should we do it?”

Garcia grins behind him. The one he’s referring to shows a dinner table set up outside, brown wooded table with white wooden chairs opposite eachother. There’s flowers at the centre, a bottle of wine already poured in each glass in front of a basket of cookies, and the area around is shrouded by shrubbery, fairy lights hanging delicately from every-which-way.

It’s perfect. You love fairy lights, Spencer loves cookies, and the set-up looks private enough for Spencer to feel confident when he empties his heart and soul to you.

“The roof.” Garcia says wistfully.

“We have access to that?”

“Yes.” They both know they don’t. “Leave it to me. Oh… one more thing.” She adds, hesitantly, “Can Morgan help? I’m a lot of things, including emotionally strong and your love guru, but physically I’m gonna need some assistance.”

Spencer doesn’t even need to agree – Morgan’s gonna involve himself no matter what.

+++

Five o’clock is quickly approaching and you’re slumped over your desk, lost in your work. You need to be lost in it, because ever since Garcia released Spencer from her office right after lunch he’s been sneaking glances at you (he’s not sneaky) and has made several attempts to approach you but decided against it, sharply turning and pretending he meant to go another way instead.

You are beyond confused. You assume it’s to do with the girl he’s been trying to get over – you hope he’s been trying to build the confidence to tell you exactly what happened and maybe, you really hope, he’ll invite you over for the weekend so you can slip back into your old routine.

“Psst.”

You assume they’re not trying to get your attention, so you don’t move.

“Psst!”

You still don’t move.

“Y/N!”

Your head snaps up to Spencer leaning over the divider between your desks. He looks alarmed – which is odd, given he’s the one who called you – and he opens and closes his mouth a few times before he finally speaks.

“Are you busy tonight?” He sits back and, if he wasn’t so goddamn tall, all you’d be able to see would be his eyes. His added height means you can see his eyes and his nose. You wanna kiss it.

You smile – this is an olive branch, “I am completely available for whatever it is you might need.”

You sound incredibly eager, which you are. You miss him.

His cheeks move upwards, a smile, “Can I talk to you, later, on the roof? Uh-“ He clears his throat, “-I need to tell you something.”

You raise an eyebrow, “You’re not gonna push me off, right?”

“No,” He laughs.

“Promise me.”

Now he guffaws, “I would never, Y/N!”

“Promise me, Reid!”

“Alright, alright! I promise!” He’s jokingly raising his hands in a form of surrender.

You give him another smile and turn back to your work. You feel at ease, now, thinking he’s finally gonna tell you what happened on the weekend – finally you’ll be able to help him and go back to normal.

Spencer, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of ease. He’s about to pour his heart out to you.

He takes a deep breath and looks back to his computer, which is open on a tab titled “How to Tell Someone You Like Them.”

Step 3: Be Confident.

Spencer opens a new tab and searches, “How to be confident.”

+++

Garcia hacks into Spencer’s computer to open a document and type that the roof is ready. She wishes him luck, tells him she loves him, and calls dibs on being the godmother of your future children. As if she doesn’t have enough godchildren as it is.

He clears his throat and your head snaps towards him. You’ve been done for a while, playing Tetris on your phone, waiting for Spencer to take you to the roof where he swears he won’t kill you – you’re not entirely convinced.

“Um-“ He scratches his neck, “You ready to go?”

You nod and give him a weak smile in hopes it gives him some type of reassurance.

“Whatever happened, it’s okay, Spence.”

All he does is nod in return, gathering his coat and bag. He doesn’t really register what you say, or he would’ve been very confused.

You follow him up to the roof. The elevator ride is silent and Spencer is jittery; his hands twitch and tap against his legs, he’s bouncing on his toes and he keeps looking at you through the corner of his eye. You’ve taken several deep breaths to calm your racing heart – you hate heights, and this is the closest you’ve been to Spencer in a week. This will be the longest conversation you’ve had with him in a week, too.

The second the doors open, Spencer leaps in front of you.

“Wait!”

You jump back in surprise, “What? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Completely fine. Just… when we get there, let me explain first, okay? Before you say anything.” He’s pleading, as if you’ve already told him no. You look at him with furrowed brows and mumble an ‘okay’.

You’re visibly confused as you trek up the flight of stairs to the roof. Spencer pushes open the fire door and the first thing you notice is how bright the roof is – you always assumed it’d be dark, little light, especially at night like this.

Wait.

There’s fairy lights… everywhere. You’re pretty sure this isn’t the norm for the FBI roof.

Spencer is equally as awed at what he sees before him - it’s exactly the photo he saw in Garcia’s cave brought to life, but he’s too distracted by you to fully appreciate it. You look like a child on Christmas; eyes wide, pupils blown, mouth slightly agape. You’re gorgeous.

“What…is this, Spence?” You wonder, noticing the set table, fingers grazing the roses that sit in a vase in the middle. They’re fresh and smell wonderful.

He stands a little behind you, fiddling with his hands, and clears his throat, “Would you like to take a seat?”

You do. When he finally sits, he pours you a glass of wine and you immediately take an anxious sip. Although Rossi is a big fan of wine, you rarely take interest in it only when Spencer’s involved. You’ve come to associate wine with him – a smile peeks out from your glass as you stare at the man opposite you.

“I need to get something off my chest. But there’s cookies, if you want one,” He picks one up from his plate, breaking it in half and giving it to you. He’s stalling, but you seem to take the bait and bite into it.

“Are these from the bakery two blocks away?”

“Yeah,” He replies, but he isn’t really paying attention. He doesn’t know where to begin.

You wait patiently for him to open up. You’re still unsure of what to make of all of this – the beautiful setting, the wine, the flowers, the lights. God, the lights are dazzling in the Virginia night sky. You need context, and you need it now.

“Spence-“

“Listen.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry, I just…” He trails off, “I need to say what I need to say before I back out again.”

You fold your hands in your lap. You’re ready for whatever’s to come.

“Do you know how long we’ve known eachother?” He asks. His head tilts like a puppy.

“Nearly five years. Our friendaversary is coming up, you know.”

You realise, then, that this must be a celebration for that – that explains the… typically romantic setting. Before you can open your mouth to ask if that what’s this is, Spencer speaks.

“Four years, three-hundred and sixty days. That’s how long we’ve known eachother.”

“If we were dating, we would’ve been my longest relationship the second we passed a year.”

You don’t know why you said it, but it flusters him. He has to pause to take a breath and collect his thoughts.

“I’ve been in love with you for four years and three hundred and fifty-eight days, Y/N.”

It’s silent as you process and he figures out how to continue.

“I knew you were special when you were introduced to us. Hotch already had such a soft spot for you, and you had this way about you that made us all fall in love instantly. I remember Garcia did a background check the second she found out your name and she said you remind her of me and I… that freaked me out, to be honest. I thought you’d try to replace me.” He huffs a laugh, but can’t bring himself to look you in the eye, “I realised I was in love with you when you drunkenly defended me. Do you remember that?” His eyes flicker to yours for half a second – you’re wide-eyed, “You’d known me for two days at that point, but we’d already done a case together so we were celebrating. And these guys at the bar were whispering about me, acting like I couldn’t hear them, and the second you realised what was happening you stood up, stormed towards them and gave them a piece of your mind. It was incredible.

“You barely knew me, at least personally, but you thought so highly of me you scolded a group of drunk bodybuilders without a second thought. You made them apologise – it was hysterical watching someone half their size force them into submission like that – and when you were done you asked if I wanted to leave and go get ice cream. We couldn’t, cause you vomited on the way there, but I knew in that moment I loved you and I feel so hard, so quickly, I didn’t know what to do. And you never… you never indicated you thought of me as anything other than a friend so I didn’t try. Then you dated Greg who, in my opinion, sucked on his best days, and you encouraged me to date Abigail and I…”

He’s run out of breath and of things to say.

“I just love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you.” He adds, “I hope that’s okay.”

He finally looks at you, then. You’re just staring and he panics when he can’t make out what you’re feeling. He’s always been able to read you, you’ve always hated the saying that eyes are the windows to the soul because your eyes are always your tell, but now they’re… glassy.

You’re crying.

“Spencer…” You gasp, throat tight.

“It’s okay.” Spencer gives a tight-lipped smile. He knows what’s coming. He should’ve expected it. He has been expecting it.

“I love you too, Spence.”

Spencer chokes on air. He takes a gulp of wine.

You give him a teary smile in disbelief, “I’ve always loved you, Spence. I thought you knew that – I thought that big brain of yours knew exactly how I felt and… you didn’t do anything about it so I thought you didn’t feel the same. Spencer…”

He slowly moves a hand to place it palm-up on the table. Immediately you place your hand in his, your grip tight as you lovingly stare at him. This feels unreal.

“I’m in love with you too, you idiot.” You half laugh, half cry, “If you’ve really loved me this long, we’ve wasted so much time! God, we’re both idiots.”

Spencer’s crying too, now, and he starts laughing with you.

You’re two idiots in love, sitting opposite eachother on the roof of your place of work in a dream-like surrounding filled with fairy lights and flowers, and you could’ve been doing this for years.

Spencer sniffles, looking at you through his wet eyelashes, “Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

“If I say yes, will I get more dates like this?” You tease.

“Well, Garcia has a whole evidence board of date ideas she stole from Pinterest. We have enough ideas to last a lifetime.” He giggles.

“Penny was in on this?!”

Spencer gives a heh, “This is all thanks to her, so yeah.”

“She’s always had our backs.”

“She’s also now going to be convinced she’s cupid.”

You laugh again, and can’t help yourself when you lean across the table, still gripping Spencer’s hand, and letting your lips fall on his. Spencer leans into you, lips moving against yours as you both try to suppress grins.

You pull back slightly, Spencer’s lips following you, and whisper, “I would love to be your girlfriend.”

He kisses you again. And again. And again, just cause he can.

Big plan, big payoff. You’re worth every little stress and more.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfic #mine #garcia is watching everything through the security cameras btw #you think she'd do all this and NOT watch her hard work flourish?#think AGAIN

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 4 years

Text

Mr. Sandman (Ms Venable x reader)

i guess its kinda bad and i actually wanted to delete it, but here we are haha...

this fanfic is inspired by “Mr Sandman” (syml)..

google translate mwuah

summary: i dont want to spoil.. uhm.. Y/N thinks, her life with Mina is perfect and then a letter changes everything? something like that–

pt. 2: https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/643509412185751552/mr-sandman-pt-2-miss-venable-x-reader

Whoohoo

"I never felt love .." Ms. Mead said.

"Neither have I ..", Ms. Venable answered.

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

Make her the cutest that I've ever seen

Give her two lips like roses and clover

And tell her that her lonely nights are over

Mina loved you more than anything else in this world. You were her good girl, her princess and you would do anything to make her happy. You looked after the house, you cleaned, you went to the supermarket. You would always ask how she is doing and put her needs above your own.

And at night you lay close to her, your head rested on her chest and she whisperes sweet things in your ear, every evening until you would fall asleep.

And you were so in love with your Ms. Venable. She was so damn smart and proud and her scoliosis had never been a problem for you. You helped her where you could and you loved to see her happy. You were a very emotional person, but Mina was always there to hold you tight.

And while you were taking care of the house, she was the one managing your finances. You found the strict, powerful Ms. Venable, who she was at work, incredibly attractive, but the Mina, who she was at home, was your heaven on earth.

Even though it was almost 4 years ago, you still remembered like it was yesterday when she came into the bookstore, you worked at, to ask for a book. She looked so beautiful when she leaned against the cashier's counter to discuss about Stephen Hawking with you. Many people would describe her as cold-blooded, but you loved her rational way of dealing with things.

Your life seemed perfect and then a little letter should change everything.

----

"I forgot to tell you, that you got a letter .." you said and leaned in the doorway to watch your girlfriend,who was at her desk working on a document.

"Give it to me .." she muttered absently, still staring at the paper. She held out her hand in your direction and you jumped into the room to put the letter in her hand.

"I've already opened it .." you said nervously.

She raised her eyes in your direction and raised an eyebrow.

"Since when are you reading my letters, Y / N?"

"I'm sorry..I thought it looked kind of important..you know, he's from your college .."

Her gaze froze at your words and you became even more nervous.

"The graduates from your year will meet next saturday and you have also been invited .." you continued slowly.

"I was wondering if we might- .."

"No." she said firmly, still staring at you.

"But Mina .." you moaned.

"I know you hate people, but I think you'd have fun .. something like that is cool .."

"I said no, Y / N ..." she repeated, with a hint of anger in her voice, before taking the letter and tearing it up.

"You are stupid ..".

You stomped out of her study angrily.

---------------------

"You know, my college days weren't that great either .." you said, poking around at your food.

"But I would still go to this meeting .."

Mina sighed.

"You have no idea .. my college days were like hell to me ..".

Her mind wandered back in time to the lost girl she was in college. Everything was actually perfect, Mina was smart and loved to challenge her professors. But then she fell in love with the Meangirl and everything was upside down. She had never been in love and this girl was just as gay as her homophobic mother. And she was the darling of all professors and students. Mina had never even been in her field of vision, no matter how loud she shouted. And, of course, the Meangirl was dating Jonathan Cray, the blond handsome guy everyone adored. But as beautiful as he was, Mina had always seen how he had broken her heart. And every time she had wanted to kill him. She would have looked after her so well, not treated her the way he did.

"You don't have to tell me about it, if you don't want to .." you said when you realized how thoughtful she was and put a hand on hers.

"Thank you, princess .." she said softly and smiled sadly at you.

When you lay in bed in the evening, your head was on her chest, as always, while you read from the book what you just had in common. One of your favorite habits in your relationship.

Unfortunately, Mina couldn't concentrate on that.

The floral scent of your hair made her think of her again.

You smelled like her.

Absent-mindedly, she ran her hand over your bare back.

Your skin was as soft as hers.

"Mina?" You asked, lifting your eyes to look at her when you noticed that she wasn't focused.

Your eyes had the same shine as hers, Mina realized as she stared into your eyes.

"I love you so much, princess .." she muttered, pressing her lips against yours.

And you tasted like her too, at least as Mina had imagined.

You were perfect

Sandman, I'm so alone

Don't have nobody to call my own

Please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

-------------------------

Mina herself had made sure that you didn't have to work next Saturday, she didn't want you to leave the house that day.

You'd been confused, but her explanation was too sweet and you took the day off.

"You know, I have the feeling we haven't had much time for each other in the last few weeks and I would love to spend Saturday with you, princess ..", she said and you were happy.

Now she was only working for a few hours this morning and then you'd have her back.

You got up from the bed and opened the door to Mina's closet, which was separate from yours.

A few years ago Mina had already given you a hoodie of her own and as cute as it was, you unfortunately had to discover that time had borrowed it quite a bit and the purple was almost washed out. You reached out your hand to her turtleneck and pulled it over your head. Minas lavender perfume got into your nose and gave you a feeling of security

Just as you were about to close the closet, you noticed a box, that was on the floor of the closet, labeled with your name. You knew you shouldn't be getting hold of her things, but your name was on it, so it was your business somewhere.

You bent down to pick up the box, a shoebox. Before you opened it, you sat down on the bed edge. You carefully removed the lid and stared into the box, confused.

There were drawings in it.

Very direct drawings,..drawings of you.

You took the leaves, which had become wavy over time, and looked at them. Mina had drawn that, you were sure of that. Nobody would pay more attention to the details than Mina. These drawings were good, you couldn't imagine why Mina should hide them in her closet. Which is why you decided to hang them up. You jumped happily into her workspace and your good mood fell when you looked at Mina's desk. She had forgotten her bag. She never actually forgot anything. Confused, you grabbed the bag, determined to bring it to your girlfriend.

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

Make her the cutest that I've ever seen

Give her the word that I'm not a rover

And tell her that her lonely nights are over

-----------------

As you walked through the large building of kineros robotics, you couldn't help but wonder again about this strange work.

You walked past Jeff and Mutt's office and watched in disgust as the two of them were taking drugs as usual.

"Look! The prodigal son has found home .." Mutt exclaimed when he saw you and grinned.

The prodigal son?

Slowly you stepped into these idiots' office.

"Did Venny send you to update your system?" Laughed Jeff.

Just as you were about to open your mouth to answer, someone interrupted you.

"What are you doing here Y / N ?!", Minas voice barked behind you and made you flinch.

You turned around and stared into her wrinkled face.

"You forgot your bag .." you said quietly and held up her bag.

She inhaled sharply.

"Give it to me and go home, you shouldn't be here ..".

Without a word, you handed her the bag before you ran past her outside.

That was embarrassing and you couldn't explain why Mina was so angry. You just wanted to help her.

Annoyed, you got into your car and were about to start when something caught your eye. A young couple crossing the parking lot. He was holding a child, but your attention was on her.

Maybe you got crazy, but this woman looked like you.

Or did you look like that woman?

You could only stare and watch the couple go into the building. When the two of them disappeared behind the door, you blinked in confusion. That couldn't be possible.

Probably she just looked like you and besides, she was about 30 meters away from you.

You shook your head at yourself before you started the car to drive home.

-------------

Mina sat in her office and thought hard, should she be alarmed about what Jeff and Mutt had said to you?

A knock on her door made her jump and she let out a little scream as she saw who it was.

There she was, the love of her life, her hand still tied to Jonathan Crays. She balanced a toddler on her arm.

"Y / N ..", Mina uttered surprised when Y / N and Jonathan entered the room.

"Didn't you expect us?", asked Y / N and grinned.

God that smile.

"Not really .." Mina muttered as she turned red.

"We saw that you didn't register for tonight and now we've come to pick you up.."

Mina stared at couple. Jonathan looked totally bored and didn't look at all like he was enjoying being here.

"Come on .." Y / N pleaded.

"This is going to be fun ... do it for me .."

Do it for me.

These words ached in Mina's heart. She would have done so much for Y / N.

"I can't .." she began.

"I promised my girlfriend to spend the night with her .."

"Your girlfriend?" Y / N repeated with big eyes.

"Of course she can come along if she wants .."

"I really can't Y / N .."

Mina averted her gaze from the woman in front of her, who was now staring at her in disappointment

"We should go now ..", Jonathan suddenly muttered to Y / N.

"It was nice to see you, Mina .." she said quietly.

Mina

Only Y / N was allowed to call her that.

Mina smiled in pain.

"Have fun tonight .."

Jonathan nodded briefly and pulled Y / N out of the room.

---------------

Mina couldn't stop tears from running down her face as she drove home. This meeting today had shown her, what reality actually looked like.

She hated Jonathan so much, when he put his arm around Y / N when they left the building, it hurt so much to see and now she needed you. You were like her drug, she was addicted to the feeling of holding you in her arms.

"Y / N ??" she called for you when she got home.

"I'm in the living room ..", came your voice and Mina was glad that you no longer sounded angry. She took off her jacket and came walking into the living room, always leaning on her cane, of course.

She smiled gently at you when she saw you, but her smile fell as soon as she saw what you were doing.

"Where did you get this from?" She asked sharply, staring at the drawings.

"They were in your closet and I thought they were beautiful, so I thought I would hang them .." you replied, still seeming to be convinced that it was a good idea.

"I think they look so ... aggressive."

"Aggressive ..", Mina repeated slowly, still staring at you angrily.

She remembered the night she had made these sketches. Aggressive was a good word to describe how she felt back then. She had sat at the desk in the candlelight at night. She couldn't take it any longer. Y / N in Jonathan's arms..

With gritted teeth she had scratched the paper with a pencil. Tears dripped from her eyes onto the drawing in front of her, making the pencil blur. No matter how much it would cost, she was determined to take these sketches to her office the next morning to hand over to these two idiots Jeff & Mutt. You should be perfect.

Oh, Sandman, I'm so alone

Don't have nobody to call my own

So please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

"Hang it up .." Mina hissed at you.

"But Mina-".

"You gotta fucking hang it up .."

You rolled your eyes

"Hang it up yourself if it bothers you .. I try to do everything right the whole day and you're just mad at me .." you said and ran out of the room.

She looked after you and then began to unhook the drawings and toss them into the burning fireplace at the end. She hadn't imagined Saturday like that.

She ran through your house looking for you and finally found you lying on the bed in the bedroom.

"Princess?" She whispered softly as she entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Your back was turned to her

and you didn't move an inch

"Please talk to me .." she continued and reached out her hand to run through your hair.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" You let out.

"You've been totally weird since this letter arrived here ..."

You frowned at her.

Mina swallowed.

"I'm really sorry that I was so unfair .. I've only think back to my college days so often over the past few days .."

She looked at you sadly.

"Then talk to me .." you answered and sat up.

"I don't want to talk about it .." she said, grabbing your hands.

"The only thing that matters, is that you know I love you .."

You nodded slowly and were about to say something when she grabbed your face and angrily pressed her lips against yours.

"Mina what-"

"You are mine .." she growled against your mouth and pulled you into her lap.

"Do you understand me? You belong to me .."

--------------------------

The rest of the weekend was perfect, you gave her everything she needed. Mina had always been a bit possessive and you liked that, but the last two days had been different, she was scared. While she held you in her arms, all she could see was Jonathan putting his arm around Y / N, he didn't deserve her.

Monday morning everything seemed to be back to normal, you went to work just like her and in the evening she drove home and was looking forward to finally seeing you.

But as soon as she unlocked the door, she noticed that something was wrong. Normally you would greet her with a beam of joy, but you didn't.

When she called your name several times and you didn't answer, she panicked to search your house. Finally she heard sobs coming from the bathroom. She ran there immediately, if her stick allowed it.

"What's going on, princess?" She asked worried when she saw you standing by the sink.

"Something is wrong with me .." you whimpered and turned to her.

"What are you talking about?", She frowned and got scared when she saw that your right hand was wrapped in a bandage.

"Please don't be angry .." you began, trembling.

"I wanted to cook and cut myself .."

Mina's eyes widened.

Damn.

She grabbed your hand and unwrapped the bandage.

"I don't know what that is .." you said and more tears ran down your face as Mina looked at the cut on your palm. Instead of blood, cables came out of the interface.

She wrapped the bandage around your hand again.

"Jeff and Mutt will be able to fix this .." she muttered.

"To fix ??" you stared at her in fear.

"We have to go to the hospital, there are fucking cables in my hand .. I need help .."

"You are perfect ..", she growled and pulled you into your living room by your healthy hand.

"What the hell is going on here Mina ??" you asked and yanked yourself out of her grasp.

She slipped past you and sat on the armchair by the window.

"Have you never wondered why you are always healthy? Or why you have no friends or we never visit your family?" She asked challengingly.

You paused.

"What are you talking about? I hate my parents, they kicked me out when I came out to them, but you know that .. And don't say I have no friends .. I don't want friends, that's it. The only person I need is you .. "

She let out an amused snort and rubbed her temples.

"Because I programmed you that way .." she said finally.

"Programmed .." you repeated and you felt sick as you slowly realized what she was getting at.

"Y / N you are my creation .. look at yourself, you are flawless .. I have invested so much time in making yourself as perfect as you are now .."

You stared at her. Is that supposed to be a joke?

"I'm one of your robots?" You asked quietly and stumbled backwards.

That's what Mutt meant by "the prodigal son". But that made no sense, your memories, your family ... They all seemed so real ?!

You let yourself fall into the chair behind you.

"You are not just any robot .. you are my robot .." Mina said and came over to you to kneel in front of you.

Those were the strangest words she'd ever said to you.

You felt like you were about to throw up.

"You're perfect, you look like her ...", Mina said and reached out her hand to smooth your cheek with her thumb.

"Like her?" You gasp. Tears welled up in your eyes. Immediately you thought back to yesterday's woman ... So you weren't unique. A cheap copy from a stranger.

"Look at me and tell me that you are not happy with me ..", Mina looked at you sadly.

All you could do was stare at her. You had been together for 4 years and she had lied all the time. Who knows, maybe it wasn't even 4 years and just a few months.

"I didn't tell you, because I love you.", Mina said, as if she could read your mind.

"Because you love me? I thought honesty was the most important thing in a relationship .." you took her hand from your cheek and stood up.b

"Y / N, I created you .. Without me you wouldn't even exist ..", Mina said and leaned on her stick to get up as well.

"You're crazy .." you muttered and ran into the hallway. Mina hobbled after you.

"What is that supposed to be, Y / N?" She asked when she saw you put your jacket on.

"I'm leaving .. you scare me ..".

You grabbed your car key before heading to the door. Your hand wrapped around the cold doorknob, but something prevented you from opening.

You just couldn't. She had given you everything you ever wanted and even though you just found out that most of it was a lie, you just couldn't leave. Where should you go?Your whole life revolved around this woman and you loved it, she made you feel special.

Tears dripped quitetly on your hand, which was still tightly gripping the iron doorknob.

"You can't .." you heard Mina say softly behind you.

"You can't leave me because I programmed you that way .."

Programmed ..

You let out a sob at her words.

You slowly turned to her, she was standing a meter away from you and smiled sadly at you.

"Come here, princess .." she said and opened her arms.

You didn't hesitate for a moment and jumped into her arms to hold on to her while you cried.

"Shh everything will be fine .." she whispered in your ear.

"You are mine and that's the only thing that matters .."

Oh, Sandman bring us a dream

Make her the cutest that I've ever seen

Give her two lips like roses and clover

And tell her that her lonely nights are over

Oh, Sandman, I'm so alone

Don't have nobody to call my own

So please turn on your magic beam

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

#wilhemina venable x reader #wilhemina venable #sarah paulson x reader #american horror story #mr sandman

165 notes · View notes

beautifulletdownfics · 4 years

Text

Terrible to Meet You - A Harry Styles One Shot - Act 2, Let not the time discern

Harry wants to get out of the house. Alex wants to get home.

Alex meets Harry at at crossroads. Harry meets Alex on a one way street.

A coffee shop OU fic feat. lattes, lamingtons & that Great Unfathomable Feeling.

Story Page Here My Masterlist Here

Read Act 1, If at first we meet Here

Two of Us: 'This universe ain't big enough to keep us apart'

&&&

Harry went back to the cafe the next day. (And, after that, every day for a medium while)

There was something about it. Something about the tiny cafe he must have walked past a hundred times before but never took much notice of. Perhaps it was the way he felt the rest of the day after having been there. Or the fact the coffee was fucking good. But also maybe it was her—kind eyes, a foreign accent and a quick wit. It would take Harry's mind and body marginally longer than his heart to recognise what pulled him there.

Alex was surprised when he returned. Part of her was relieved, too. The other part of her was busy extracting the dagger of guilt that shot through her chest. Seeing Harry reminded her that she forgot to tell her flatmates the juicy The Daily Dose gossip about Harry Styles. And Harry walking up to the window a little before 8 am with a calm but reassuring smile on his face made something in her still, and Alex realised he wasn't gossip at all.

"Hi," he greeted her pleasantly, seemingly thinking nothing of the way his hand was tucked into the top of his running shorts to extract his phone for payment. (Alex's heart did a lusty little backflip) She saw a slither of a toned tummy and the way the elastic of the shorts folded over itself, "I'm back for more," he said.

More coffee, and more of whatever else it was packaged into the takeaway cups with it. Alex and Paul were Harry's first human interaction after returning from LA. And, where 24 hours prior his aching need had been to see literally anybody, it was now just a need to see more of this somebody. A person whose name he didn't know yet and who Harry had absolutely no reason to feel connected to at all. Knitted hearts aren't visible to the human eye, not when it isn't Looking.

He did though. Although the way she was now watching him with a completely blank expression on her face and a far off look in her eyes made Harry's confidence falter. He repeated what he'd already said over in his head looking for where he might've gone wrong. Harry came up blank. Was she completely freaked out by him already?

Paul rescued her from what Alex was sure was turning into a flushed moment for her. Did Harry really not realise what he'd said with his fingers beyond the elastic of his shorts? Paul's head appeared over her shoulder as a frown started to appear on Harry's face, "Careful Harry, she's a grump today."

Nobody blinked an eye at Paul using Harry's name before it was technically given to them.

"I am not," Alex insisted too quickly, too forcefully. Her elbow launched backwards, trying to catch Paul's gut. She really was a grump. But last night's wine was still causing her head to thump and her throat to ache. Tears and a bottle of red worked well in the moment but weren't as comforting the morning after.

Paul's eyebrows rose in Harry's direction, and he waved a hand out in front of him, expertly weaving away from her attack even in the tiny space, "See?"

"Ah," Harry nodded awkwardly and briefly looked at his feet.

"Doesn't like it when I start talking about universe stuff," Paul explained loudly, despite nobody asking for him to. "Very spiritually pragmatic, the Australians."

"Didn't know that," Harry added, expression turning to one of interest. He wasn't involved in this part of the conversation the previous day.

"Long black?" Alex asked because yes she remembered his order, and she had the defence of it having been less than 24 hours since she last made Harry's coffee in case anyone started raising eyebrows for another reason.

"Uh, yeah," Harry fumbled over how quickly the exchange turned to business, "Thank you."

She got to work but felt Harry's eyes on her as her hands ran on autopilot, stepping through the process. The click click of the bean hopper, the churn of the grinder, packing the head … Alex put the machine on to run and internally cursed Paul, who took himself into the back room, mumbling something about them running low on serviettes. A blatant lie.

Now, when she turned back to Harry, she tried to look calm and serene, like him. But she was already covered in coffee grind and couldn't be sure there wasn't a smudge of it across her face. Paul never told her when there was. Harry's heart was waving to hers widely.

"So … You're definitely not in a bad mood then?" Harry had an expression on his face that told Alex he was testing the waters, but the teasing note was there in just the right amount.

"I'm hungover, which is completely different," she provided.

His smile turned into a grimace, "Oh yeah, completely … Nothing worse … Self-inflicted misery."

Alex tried not to let Harry's awkwardness affect her and in doing so fell into an old pastime of hers; filing the silence with mindless chatter, "Exactly. And then if you add in some idiot going on about the universe and it's wonderful, eternal plans for my existence … I could just kill a man, you know?"

Paul, Paul is the man I could kill, she thought.

He didn't know, but Harry nodded obediently anyway, "You need carbs and coffee, not the cosmos."

"Thank you," Alex gave Harry a look that told him she thought it was obvious the two of them were right, "I mean, the downright gall of that man, trying to put the universe on me this year of all years. Absolutely bloody insane."

Harry tried to hide the instant smile that came to his face hearing her accent navigate absolutely bloody insane. "I'm Harry … By the way … Feel like we're at names."

"Alexandra. But it's Alex." She added quickly, ignoring the lovely, melodic chuckle that came from Harry, "Do you really think that this year, with a global pandemic, anyone can claim that the universe is conspiring for their specific good? Like, 'Sorry everyone about the pandemic, this is really about my destiny, so you're all just going to have to hang tight while that all falls into place!' This is a terrible year. The universe isn't setting up shit."

"Well, it's terrible to meet you, Alex," Harry grinned, stealing her word. She really was in a grump, and he loved it. But if there was one thing Harry knew how to do, it was charm and disarm. He had a feeling nothing would look as lovely as Alex with a blush he'd put there.

Alex paused where she was about to put the lid on his coffee. She felt her cheeks heat as the last few moments played over in her head—her ranting, Harry's introduction, threatening to murder a man—and then she took in the way he was watching her. A little pink-cheeked himself, amused but not appalled, a waiting look of anticipation on his face for what might come out of her big mouth next.

"I think I might still be a little drunk," she excused meekly. Despite herself, Alex thought she might have a little crush.

"You're handling it well," Harry provided kindly, taking the coffee from where Alex put it down in front of him. He waved his phone over the payment portal, waiting for the beep before locking the screen and going back to looking at her, "Drinking for any particular reason?"

"Oh," Alex's eyes widened, "I—

—"Sorry, that was intrusive of me."

"No, it's okay," she continued quietly, not seeing the way her softening had Harry frowning in concentration to tune into what she was about to say, "I've been trying to get home—back to Australia—for a while now. Flights keep getting cancelled or, on Saturday, I was bumped from one at Heathrow…. So we're back to square one."

Dread filled Harry instantly. He could see how upset Alex was, the heartache in her voice—the homesickness—and he hated this look on her, the opposite to the one he'd just daydreamed about. If there was one thing Harry knew it was what it was to miss home. There was no cure for it. A dozen ways he could offer to help burst to the tip of his tongue, but he held them back.

"I'm sorry, that's really shit. Have …" he hesitated to ask, "Have they put you on another one?"

She smiled through glassy eyes, "It's complicated, that's not really how flights home are working at the moment … But it's alright! I'm fine. I'll get there eventually. I got the refund for the first one, back in April, last week and Paul's let me come back to work here three times now so … This can't last forever, right?"

Harry didn't have an answer for that, he was in no hurry to return to his house as he took a sip of his coffee, "How long has it been since you were home?"

"I went back for a visit a little over two years ago," Alex flipped a button on the espresso machine in front of her, to distract herself from the subject but also the way Harry was watching her. If only she could see the way the hearts were watching each other. She started rinsing out her coffee mug under the stream of boiling water, "My sister came over for Christmas last year, though."

"I just got back from America," Harry provided without knowing where the urge to comfort this stranger was coming from, "I was only gone a few months, and it was a little hard to get back, it felt dreadful, so I can't imagine what it's like for you. That's a long time to be so far from home, especially now."

While he spoke, Alex started making herself a latte, for something to do in the moment and for something to hold onto if Harry stayed at the window.

"How long have you been in London?" He asked. How long have you been just around the corner? Harry thought.

When she looked over at him, Harry felt like she was seeing through him. There was something about her soft, brown eyes and the way they exuded kindness that had him buoyant with giddiness at the same time as feeling incredibly self-conscious.

"Four years now," Alex told him, "Was supposed to be just a 12-month adventure."

"Your family must miss you then."

She shrugged, "I think they're used to it now. Life moves on without you, which is strange at first. Tough to get used to, that the people who own you suddenly have lives you only know about from catch-ups and Instagram posts."

Harry didn't know how to tell her that he knew exactly what she meant. He'd been struggling with that very notion for years now. Home never left like the same home he remembered, and wherever he found himself living—LA or the road—never quite felt right either.

"I've loved it though," Alex added, "Wouldn't have stayed if I didn't. This year though … I just want to be home, London's… Lost something."

Harry watched her shake herself out of the sad moment, her face brightened, and he barely registered the way Alex said in a genuinely upbeat fashion that she'd just have to wait for her time. He smiled along with the rising of her cheeks and felt like he saw a transition between two feelings that was entirely healthy and okay. She wasn't pretending. Her graciousness and patience with life were astounding, despite the fact he'd equally seen her sadness as being genuine as well. The balance there was enlightening.

"Need to make the most of the bonus time you've been given here then," he tried hesitantly. The hearts nodded at each other, gleefully.

That had been the right thing to say, the smile on Alex's face amplified in agreement, "Exactly.”

3AM 'She's got a little bit of something' &&&

Alex was sitting on an upturned milk crate as Harry rounded the corner.

His step faltered but only because she was looking right at him as if expecting him to arrive. He smiled under his mask and tugged it down while he was still a reasonable distance away. Alex smiling at him, holy hell did that taste—the flavour of her spirit—feel good in Harry's chest. Each day for nearly a month he'd felt the same way every time he saw her.

Alex received a text message from Harry just after 7 am that morning. Unlike the ones he sent every other day telling her he was on his way (an old fashioned tip from his sister, to demonstrate to Alex that Harry was thinking of her) that morning Harry told her he wouldn't see her until the afternoon. All day, she waited. Her heart tapped its foot impatiently in her chest, a nervous ticking that made Alex clumsy and disappointed when every new customer wasn't him.

"Hello," Harry grinned back at her, because that was all he could do, really. In her presence happiness exploded out of him and charged his whole body faster than caffeine ever could. His shoe scuffed the concrete path again as he looked at the closed cafe behind her, "Did I miss something?"

Harry stopped a safe distance from her, not sure how this new level of interaction would go. He'd never seen her whole body all at once, part of her was always obscured by the cafe window. Alex in the flesh—in the whole—was like the first taste of chilli on his tongue, invigorating in a way that stole the breath from his lungs.

"We close at three every day," she stayed seated but pushed another crate towards him with her foot. There were brown smudges of coffee grind all up and down her shins, and he guessed the black jeans she wore to work were strategic.

Harry squinted the sign on the window by the door, he was always occupied by her and didn't need arbitrary activities like reading signs to keep him entertained waiting for his coffee, "Really?"

"You usually come in the morning," Alex said pleasantly, waiting for him to sit down opposite her, "Here."

Harry was overwhelmed, he really was, by the sight of a white takeaway cup in her hand, and he reached for it carefully, "What's this—Alex."

"Can't have you missing your coffee … Made it right before closing, had to put the tiniest drop of milk in there otherwise it would shit itself and taste horrendous," she laughed at his wrinkled nose at the mention of milk, he sniffed the lid just to tease her or to get her to roll her eyes at him blithely. It worked, "It won't kill you, promise."

"Says someone whose intestines know how to handle lactose without making you shit yourself," he borrowed her phrase. Sounded better when Alex said it, with the wideness and the breadth of her accent.

Alex tilted her head back and laughed. Really laughed and Harry didn't have it in him to be embarrassed or scold himself for how he just spoke about his bowels in front of her, because the sound is marvellous and so Alex. It's unapologetic and genuine and a touch off-beat, which he loves.

"Holy shit," she let out a long, shaking breath afterwards, holding a palm to her rib as if in pain. She was pretending not to notice how Harry stared at her while she was laughing as if extremely happy with himself. "You wear white bottoms far too often for that to be a daily worry for you."

"Oh, it's a worry," Harry insisted, mainly to keep the joke going. He felt like his face was about to crack in half, "I can't have people spiking my coffees without my knowledge," Harry took a sip but then pointed his finger at her playfully, "I'm going to have to keep an eye on you."

As if he wasn't already.

"Busy day?" Alex asks, watching Harry take a hearty sip of the coffee she made him.

"Yeah, I um … I had some, ah, work stuff."

"Oh?" Alex crossed one leg over the other and looked at Harry with (mock) interest, "What do you do for work?"

Harry's eyes bulged involuntarily, and his mind went completely blank. Did she actually not know?

Alex only let the horror play on his face for a few seconds, "I'm kidding! I'm kidding. Jesus, Harry, sorry. I was just having a go."

"You're an excellent actress, as it turns out," he swallowed down the moment of panic. It only ever happened once before, years before, that a girl he'd been interested in hadn't known who Harry was beforehand. It hadn't ended up going down well.

Alex asks Harry about the book recommendation she sent him the week before, whether he'd started reading it yet.

Harry held up a finger at her, "I've been meaning to talk to you about that," he said, "But I haven't had lunch … I'd promised myself one of Paul's ham and cheese croissants."

"Well, you're shit out of luck, unfortunately," Alex told him, "He takes the keys with him, I can't break in and make you one. But the cafe on the high street around the corner stays open until five. You could try there?"

Harry felt like he was about to defecate himself, but it wasn't from the lactose, "Will you join me?"

Alex's eyes brightening instantly, but Harry didn't miss the way her cheeks reddened, "Sure. Of course."

"Great!" Harry coughed down his too-enthusiastic response then worried—as everyone did in 2020—that his physical reaction to her saying yes, the cough, would be interpreted as a symptom of something else entirely. He checks the time on his Apple Watch, "Should we go then?"

They walk in step away from The Daily Dose, and away from the previous pattern of their friendship. It strikes them both that this is the first time (both trip over 'first' in their minds as having the possibility to suggest it happening more often but their hearts have known all along, of course) they were out in the world together, the first time they were more than barista and customer.

Harry's hand touched Alex's forearm when they got to the cafe's door as he held it open and encouraged her to go inside. They ordered takeaway, Harry got a croissant (he was still working on the coffee Alex made him) while Alex ordered a tea. They then walked back a little way to where there was a small park with vacant seats Harry noticed on the way past.

"So, the book …" Alex asked him, the lid of her tea is off to let the heat escape. She’d crossed her legs and angled her hips towards him on the bench seat. Harry faced forward, heart hammering as he tried to remember how to use his voice.

Harry struggled to look dignified while biting into his too-hot croissant, the cheese burnt his lip, but he tried to hide it, "Oh, yeah, well, I haven't started it."

"I thought you said you wanted to speak to me about it!" She laughed.

"A ploy," Harry admitted sheepishly, "Was trying to figure out how to ask you to come with me."

In her head, Alex squealed. Her heart held two thumbs up at Harry's.

"How's the coffee," she asked, eyeing the cup in his hand.

Harry grins, knowing his next line is a winner, "Best in London, easily."

+++

GIve me all your best Alex & Harry theories Act 3, Hearts beat not fail - coming soon!

+++

Tag list: @afterhoursharry @beautifuleclipses @bumbershots @coffee-doodle-doo @decadentdonkeyflowerzonk @elemayox @ficsthatmakemeswoon @finelinesupremacy @greatestview @hatnightin2008 @ifiwereaboy2323 @just-damn-bored @kakaym @lifeandsomethingelse @luminescencefics @micurq27 @miorni @monpetitchouchou16 @morethanamelodyy @piawhat @rubytersteege @stepping-into-the-light @steppingonoranges @stylesfics-xx @stylishmuser @toalltheboyswhowastedmytime @ursamajor603 @veryplatoniccircunstances @whatevarandomlygoes Sign up for the tag list here

#fic: terrible to meet you #1dff #harry fic #harry styles story #harry fan fic #harry styles fanfic

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justimagaine · 4 years

Text

“Melancholy” Series Part 1 - Oh, fuck them / Chris Evans

Life can become a little bit too much. Sometimes you weren’t even aware that something bad was happening, you would just fall apart and then you’d realize the world had become a bit too much for you and your now weakened nerves. Those were one of those bad things about you. You’d push everything to the side, every problem you had you tried to solve it alone when clearly you needed help, you’d help other before you helped yourself.

So when the moment of your breaking point came you fell hard, so damn hard. Everything turned dark around you. Lost all hope and desire to do anything, even take care of yourself, that included feeding yourself. You would lock away from the world, away from everything and anything. It was just you, your bed and the dark room. Sometimes you’d put on a tv show in hopes the light comedy would help you come out of the state you were in, but it never really worked, but you still tried.

For you things turned so bad you’d just ignore every phone call or text you’d get. Even went so far as to turning your phone off when it was the weekend and you knew work wouldn’t need you. Doing so meant your friends couldn’t reach you, but you didn’t think anyone would even care to try and reach you or even worry about you. In your eyes you weren’t that important, you kept thinking: No one cares what happens to me; No one can no i’m like this, they’ll make fun of me. Every bad thought would scream in your mind, making you cry until you fell asleep and then the next day would be the same.

Work days weren’t that bad. You’d keep your dark mind busy with work things, meeting. Sitting in your office you didn’t have to talk to people too much meaning you wouldn’t have to fake smiles and laughs too much. Some would notice you acting a bit odd and question you on it, but you just brushed it off saying you didn’t get enough sleep and people believed you. They didn’t have a reason not to. You never gave them a reason to think otherwise. In their eyes you were a happy person, that always helped out no matter what. That was true even on your lowest days you’d go out of your way to help other, even the ones that were mean to you, adding to your already dark thoughts and days.

When coming home all you wanted was to crawl in bed and fall asleep as fast as possible, but that never went as you wished. It too you hours to fall asleep. You’d try and push your always ruining mind off, but that didn’t work, so you’d put on a video and some music that would drown out your own thoughts and then you’d slowly fall asleep. Sometimes late at night you’d get a text from a friend and you’d usually ignore it, but that depended on the person. When you got a text from Chris asking if you were okay, it took you a while to think of what to do you didn’t want to lie to him but you also didn’t want to tell the truth and upset him, so a lot of times you’d leave the text unanswered and then in the morning just back your sorry saying you went to bed early. He’d try to keep up the conversation but you give him short answers and saying you had meetings. Chris was a good friend and he also wasn’t dumb, so he knew something really wasn’t right, but he also knew better then to push you on the matter or even stop by your work or home without a warning. Even though he already once came by your apartment but you didn’t answer. He knew you were home and not opening your door to him, clearly meant you were suffering.

As slow as you thought the week was going you'd soon find yourself on a Saturday in bed, trying to watch a show, wrapped in blankets and red eyes from crying. You phone was off and you opened only Netflix, no social media, no emails. As you episode was nearing the end a video call request jumped out, making you grunt out loud. It was Chris calling and as happy as you were to see his smiling face in that picture you didn’t want to talk to him, so you moved your mouse to decline the call, but your weak, shaking made you click accept and Chris was all over your screen with a quick glace you looked at how you looking in his screen and was horrified, so you bent the screen back quickly, making Chris look at your ceiling. You heard Chris chuckle

“Clearly you were trying to decline my call.” there was a small pause, he waited for you to say something, but you couldn’t “(Y/N) please bend your screen back.” you still didn’t move, but he could hear you sniffles. “Please, I’ve been trying to reach you for 2 weeks, you don’t call me back or respond to my text like you always do. And you’re not opening your apartment door. I know somethings wrong. This was my only option to reach you and luckily for your little call button mistake I at least know your alive” he sounded really worried, and it hurt you to know it was you fault. With a slow shaky arm you reach over taking the screen and bent it and finally looked at him, but still holding the blanking tightly around your body and half of your face “there’s my girl” Chris said with a excited voice

“Hi” was all you could say. Chris sighed in the small 2 letter word he felt your sadness and knew you had been crying. All he wanted was to hug you and tell you everything would be okay.

“Sweetheart, tell me what’s going on? What happened?” Chris leaned closer to the screen trying to get a better look of you to asses the station, and the damage you’ve caused yourself. In your years of friendship with Chris this wasn’t your first dark, destructive episode. You didn’t think Chris was your closest friend, you defiantly didn’t think he thought of like that, but he was always the one person that could tell something really wasn’t right and he could see it very fast. Sometimes you didn’t even say anything and he already knew something was bothering you.

“It’s okay. I’m fine” you said the same words you had on repeat for the last week. Chris sighed looking down and shook his head

“By now you should know better then to lie to me” he looked back at you with the most saddest eyes you had seen on him. “you’ve turned your phone off and it has been off since yesterday afternoon and i I know that because I’ve been calling you this whole time. You’re sitting in a dark room, and it’s still light outside meaning you’ve made your room dark. This is not good. Talk to me” you felt yourself tear up but shushed them away blinking a few times. You looked in his eyes and felt safe but still scared to tell him what was bothering you, Chris could see that “you can trust me” those 4 words were all you needed and you were spilling all your dark thoughts and worries. Chris listened and didn’t interrupt you, he knew you needed to let it all off your chest. When you felt your self starting to talk slower, meaning you were starting to run out off the things you were keeping in you realized you had been ranting for 30 minutes started and horror came over you.

“Oh Chris, I’m so sorry. I’ve been complaining to you for so long. I’m so sorry” you said feeling embarrassed. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’ve been told I complain and talk too much, that I’m too much” you stopped yourself, when you realized you were complaining once again, buried your face in your blanket

“oh, fuck them” Chris said loudly, making you snap your head up. Those were the first words he had said since you started talking. You couldn’t help but laugh a bit, a real laugh not like the ones you had been faking at work. “Fuck all of them. Fuck every single person that has made you feel bad about yourself.” Chris was starting to sound angry. “Fuck those people that told you, you need to stop talk or some shit. You never complain, you’re always trying to be positive about any situation. Those people aren’t your friends, their just...” Chris trailed off trying to find the right words you describe those people that hurt his favorite girl. He looked back at the screen, right in your eyes “their just assholes and they don’t deserve you. You deserve better” his words made you smile and tear up but this time those were happy tears. It had been a long time since someone said something nice to you or about you.

“I’m sorry, I keep crying, but this time it’s not sadness” you cleaned your tears of and smiled at Chris “thank you for saying that and thank you for listening to me. it really helped” you. You smiled looking down at your tear soaked blanket. “i owe you one” you said laughing and Chris chuckled with you

“Okay, then how about you do me a favor” you nodded, always ready to help out, as always. “Let me pick you up and take you to my place. You need a change of scenery, we can drink some beer or wine, watch a movie” you looked around your room and it did make you sad. Everything in your room had soaked up your sadness and felt so heavy,

“It doesn’t sound like a favor for you” you said to Chris raising an eyebrow, he shook his head

“No, no it’s definitely a favor for me, see i want to drink but I don’t want to do it alone. I need the company and also” Chris gave you a big smile “I’ve missed you, so this is all for me. Quit selfish i know” he said making you laugh. This offer was beneficial for both of you. After agreeing to his so called favor, your mood got even better. After ending the call you changed, packed an over night bag and waited for Chris to arrive.

He was a good friend, he was a great man in general. Sometimes you still can’t believe how lucky you were having him in your life. And there were so many times where you thought he’d ran away from you, let you push him away, like the dark time you were going through right now. But here you were sitting in your living room waiting for him to pick you up and bring you to his home, his sanctuary, Chris let you in his word and he wasn’t going to let go of you this easily, or ever for that matter.

You meant a lot to him, more then you knew or even could imagine. When the call ended you didn’t know that Chris had already ready to go after you, he already had his car keys ready. He had planned that if you didn’t pick up his video call he’d drive to yours and bang on your door until you let him in. Chris was determent to make you feel better, he was running out of the house. To Chris you were and incredible person, with a big heart. A person that always made sure everyone around you were happy even if you weren’t. He thought you deserved to be happy as you can be, he thought you deserved the world and he wanted to give it you. Chris wanted to be the reason you smiled and to night he was on a mission to make sure you smile until your cheeks hurt and laugh so loud the whole world hears it.

---

Tag: @chris-butt ; @denisemarieangelina

#Chris Evans #Chris Evans Imagine #Chris Evans x Reader #Imagine #x Reader #Chris Evans Series #Chris Evans Fan ficion #Imagines

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

Stuck With You - Chapter 18

Chapter 18: I Want You

🡪chapter 1 🡪chapter 2 🡪chapter 3 🡪chapter 4 🡪chapter 5 🡪chapter 6 🡪chapter 7 🡪chapter 8 🡪chapter 9 🡪chapter 10 🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

Any time I need to see your face I just close my eyes and I am taken to a place Where your crystal mind and magenta feelings taken shelter In the base of my spine, sweet like a chica cherry cola

I don't need to try and explain, I just hold on tight And if it happens again, I might move so slightly To the arms and the lips and the face and the human cannonball I need to, I want to

Come stand a little bit closer Breathe in and get a bit higher

Ooh, I want you I don't know if I need you But, ooh, I'd die to find out Ooh, I want you I don't know if I need you But, ooh, I'd die to find out

But a look, then a smell of perfume It's like I'm down on the floor And I don't know what I'm in for

click here to be on the update list

NIALL

My phone had been ringing and beeping constantly in the past hour. Every time I checked, though, it was a new call or message from Mandy and I was desperately trying to avoid talking to her. I knew I wouldn't be able to run away from her for too long but I was determined to at least try. I marked all her text messages as 'read' and got out of my car again, getting inside Lewis' apartment building for the second time on that day.

I felt nervous and I was not sure why, but I kept twisted the insides of my jeans pockets as the elevator moved up. My heart skipped a beat when I glanced at the spot where Devon and I kissed but I swallowed my feelings and quickly walked out of the elevator. It didn't take long for Lewis to open the door and when I walked in, I noticed he had cleaned up everything. I was impressed, especially when I remembered the mess we had made, but I didn't mention it.

"You know you don't have to come visit many times a day, mate." Lewis pointed out before his lips curled. "No need for me to get used to your ass in this apartment, your girlfriend messaged me and said it was too expensive for her."

I wanted to point out that she was not my girlfriend and never would be but the words got stuck in my throat and I decided it was better to ignore it and not fuel the fire. I took my hands off my pockets and passed one in my hair with a sigh.

"Look, Devon really needs a place to stay."

"I thought you'd be happy to keep her with you in your room." Lewis wondered with a frown.

I took a seat on the other couch, close to him and shook my head. "She wants out, okay." I explained, shaking my head slightly before sighing again and leaning my back on the couch. "I mean, she really wants to leave."

Lewis stared at me, frowning slightly more, and finally moved his upper body closer. "That's how much you love her?" he asked in a soft tone, making me shrug. "Enough to let her go?"

"Don't say stupid things."

"No, you say stupid things, Horan." he added a bit louder. "Instead to love her enough to let her go, why don't you love her enough to be honest with her? I've seen the way she's been looking at you. She's literally waiting for you to make a move."

"I've hurt her enough already okay?" I replied a bit rudely. "She wants out and if that's what she wants then that's what she'll get."

This time, Lewis didn't answer but he rolled his eyes at me, letting his back fall on the couch. "You're a fookin' idiot."

"Thanks, I know."

"You let one girl fuck you up, and then you fuck the others. Nice move." he replied again with sarcasm.

"Fine, sue me!" I let out, now getting angry. "I'm just here to ask you to send her a message again, and tell her you'll charge her half of the rent you proposed first."

Lewis raised his eyebrows at me, blinking a few times. I knew he was getting annoyed but I didn't care. "Why would I do that?"

"I'll pay you the other half." I explained, closing my eyes. "But you can't tell her! Ever."

My friend stared at me and I knew he wanted to add something about the girl that broke my heart and fucked me up to the point where I rejected any form of romantic love, but he didn't and I felt grateful for that. It's not like I was not aware that it was not a normal thing. I knew people fell in love, fucked up other people, hurt them, got their heart broken... and started all over again. Most people had this urge and this need to love and be loved, knowing they could get hurt but hoping they won't. I didn't have that need, because I felt like the happy times were not worth the pain. I couldn't lie and say Devon didn't make all my principles falter, but I was trying hard not to do to anything about it, despite how bad I was craving it... how bad I was craving her.

"Propose her a ride to school every morning." Lewis finally said, taking me out of my thoughts. I blinked a few times and frowned before shaking my head. "Seriously, do it." he continued. "If you do that, I'm good with you paying half the rent and not telling her."

I stared at him for a few seconds before looking down. I liked the idea but I was not sure she'd agree to it. I also was pretty convinced it was a bad idea. How could I stop feeling all these things for her if I spent time with her every single day? Anyway, the reason she wanted to move out of our room was because she didn't want to be around me anymore, and picking her up for school every week days sounded counterproductive.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" I finally asked, looking up at him as he got up but totally resigned to do what he asked me to do.

"Because even if you pretend the opposite, it really matters to you." Lewis confessed, making something stir in my stomach. "So, we have a deal?"

I got up too, glancing at the hand he was holding out before looking up in his eyes. I would never tell him, but if Devon agreed to let me give her a ride to school every morning, it would make my heart lighter. As much as I hated to admit it, I took so many decisions with my heart recently that there was no doubt I'd end up in deep shit very soon. Did the fact that Devon was about to move out make me change my mind? Would it turn me into the pathetic human being I was whenever she was near? The same one I used to be around my ex girlfriend right before and even after she broke my heart?

"Deal." I just let out firmly, grabbing his hand and shaking it hard once before letting it go.

"I want my money every saturday and you're the one driving here to give it to me, making it your problem."

"Ever heard of bank transfers?" I asked with a scoff.

"I want it cash."

I knew he just wanted me to come over and I understood why but I was too mentally exhausted to argue and maybe it would also give me the chance to see Devon. I should run away from here and break all the deals I had made with Lewis but I couldn't. I was tired to fight, I was tired to repress everything I was feeling in hope it would disappear.

"Okay, but you don't ask for the money in front of Devon."

"Who do you think I am? An idiot?"

I chuckled but rolled my eyes before nodding, grateful for what he was doing. It was tough to push away someone who made me feel so many things. It felt like every fiber of my body, everyone around me, and even fate and destiny made it impossible for me to stay far from Devon. I knew deep down that I couldn't stay physically away from her forever. It felt like my own body was going to rot or die if she'd stay far, and I knew it was a stupid example but those were the only words I could come up with. Perhaps it was not really that. Perhaps it was just that my heart would stop beating, but either way, I was not ready to let go. Not completely.

I wanted to thank Lewis for everything but just as I was about to, someone knocked at the door, making me jump slightly. I moved away to let Lewis pass but when I heard the voice on the other side, I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"Lewis, are you there?" Mandy's voice let out in a soft tone. "I forgot something last night!"

I placed my hand on Lewis' chest as he walked past me and looked up in his eyes, shaking my head. "I'm not here." I mouthed, making him frown and throw his hands up.

"You're gonna have to face her at some point, right now is perfect." he replied in a whisper, walking up to the door and opening it before I could think of something else to do or a good place to hide.

As soon as her eyes met mine, I pushed my hands in my pockets and her face lighted up.

"Niall, hey, tried to reach you all day!"

"Yea, sorry my.. phone was on silent." I lied, sending her a small smile. "I was about to call you back as soon as I left."

"I just feel very lonely today." she pointed out, sending me puppy eyes as she took a step closer, putting her hand on my chest. "Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?"

My eyes roamed on her face for a few seconds as she gripped my shirt. I knew looking at her should make me feel something, but nothing happened. It was not because I was used to her, or because I had had too much sex encounters with her, no. It was simply because I felt nothing for her and probably never felt anything except lust. The fact that i didn't feel any desire for her anymore was a shock and my lips parted as I blinked a few times.

"I'm busy... tonight." I cleared my throat and took a step back, turning to Lewis to hug him lightly and tell him goodbye. I could feel Mandy's eyes on my back and it suddenly made me feel uncomfortable. When I turned back to her, she raised her eyebrows and I smiled. "Do you need a ride?"

"Yea, thank you! Let me just grab my bra really quick."

I frowned, turning to Lewis who just shrugged as Mandy disappeared in the hall only to reappear a minute of two later as she pushed her bra in her purse. I didn't ask because I didn't want to know and as we left, I glanced at Lewis' phone and moved my chin in its direction. He just nodded and I followed Mandy to the elevator.

I watched as she leaned against the wall in the exact same spot Devon and I had kissed but closed my eyes as images invaded my brain, appearing behind my eyelids like a movie I could never get tired of.

"Are you okay, Niall?"

I got out of my thoughts, trying to push away the thoughts in my head where Devon was straddling me and I was kissing her lips gently after a claustrophobia crisis, to turn to Mandy. "Yea, I'm good."

We walked together until my car and I drove in silence. She put her feet up on the dashboard and I felt my lips curl into a small grimace at how annoyed it made me but when I parked, I turned to her with a serious face.

"Look, Mandy, I think we need a break."

"A break?" she let out before chucking. "Niall, we're not dating."

"I know I just.. I can't do this anymore."

She tilted her head to lean it on the bench before turning her body slightly my way. She sighed low and a sad smile appeared on her lips before she licked them. For some stupid reason, it made me think of Devon. Again.

"It's because of that girl, right?"

"No." I lied, shrugging both shoulders and looking away, making Mandy laugh.

"I didn't even name her and you knew who I was talking about." she pointed out, making me grimace again. "It's okay, Niall, I see how you two look at each other. I didn't think she was your type but hey," she shrugged. "I get it."

I stared at her for a few more seconds, just trying to process what she was saying and when I frowned, she started laughing, rolling her eyes.

"Don't make this face! What did you expect?" she asked, an amused smile spread on her lips. "It's not like I was in love with you or anything!"

Without waiting, she got out of my car and I finally did the same. We walked together near the building and when we were about to part, I turned to her and sent her an uncomfortable smile.

"So... bye?"

She laughed again, shaking her head, and took a step closer. "I'm really gonna miss your ass." she let out, pinching it and making me tense immediately. She got on her tiptoe and pressed her mouth on mine, taking me my surprise, before taking a step back and raising her eyebrows. "Bye!"

I stood there, motionless, a sensation of relief washing over me as some of the stress I wasn't even aware I had disappeared suddenly. I pushed my hands in my pockets and when I turned back to get inside, I noticed Devon not so far from me, staring at me. My lips parted and my heart dropped when I realized she had seen what had just happened with Mandy and I was tempted to tell her it was not what she was thinking but instead, I swallowed my words as she walked closer.

"Your friend Lewis messaged me." she explained, glancing in Mandy's direction before looking back in my eyes.

I looked down at her, my eyes roaming on her face and lingering a bit too long on her lips. Why couldn't I get her off my mind? Why was it so tough for me not to grab her and kiss her right here and right now?

I started thinking about my ex girlfriend and the feelings I had whenever she was near, and it made me realize how different the two emotions were. The way I loved my ex girlfriend was needy, pathetic and ugly. The way I would do anything she wanted just because I was scared she would leave, the way she made me jealous on purpose, or simply did anything she wanted without caring if it would hurt me. I fell in love with someone who used me and it was for that same person that I had given up on love. Even now, after months of her breaking my heart, she still had an impact on me. She was still controlling me without even knowing. I was letting what she did to me ruin my life and I had no idea how to get out of it.

"Oh yea?"

"Mmhm, he said he cut the rent in half, and I think I can afford it."

"Alright." I just said, sending her a small smile.

"You don't seem surprised." she asked with a frown, tilting her head.

"No I mean, I know Lewis, he's cool." I shrugged, sending her a sincerely smile that she slowly sent back.

The way Devon made me feel was different. She made me feel good in a way I was not sure I understood yet. I could relate to her, and even if she didn't talk much about herself, she still let me in, somehow, by allowing me to look at her art and tell her how it made me feel. She allowed me to kiss her whenever I wanted and push her away after, as if she was always ready to give me a chance... a chance that I never had the guts to take. I was just realizing that maybe I was wrong and she was leaving.

"Oh, by the way, one of my friends has a mattress he doesn't need, so if you're interested, I can bring it to Lewis' apartment this week?"

Her eyebrows raised and her lips curled on the right. "Really?"

"Mmhm, oh, and since you don't have a car, I propose a ride to school every morning, how's that?"

This time though, she shook her head. "No, I can't accept that."

"Come on, I drive near there every morning anyway for breakfast, so it's all good."

It was not a complete lie but it was not the whole truth either, but I didn't care.

"No really, I can't."

"So you can accept Lewis cutting half the price of the rent, and a mattress from a guy you don't know, but when it comes to accepting my rides to school, it's too much?" I asked jokingly, a bigger smile on my face.

It made her chuckle and roll her eyes. "Fine!" she gave in, making my heart jump in my chest. "But let me pay you, okay?"

"Okay, but I decide the price." I explained, taking an other step closer. Her body was so close to mine now that if I moved, It could brush against hers. "I want that painting."

"My.. my painting? The one I wanted to throw away?"

"Mmhm," I admitted, nodding gently. "I want you to sign it, and give it to me. In exchange, you get rides and breakfast every mornings of the week."

She shook her head slightly, still smiling, and brought her shoulders up, near her cheeks. It was so endearing I almost kissed her right there.

"Niall, this painting is horrible. It'll never be worth anything."

"Deal?" I asked, ignoring her short rant.

Her traits softened and I brought my hand up, running my thumb on her cheek gently. I didn't know why I was doing that, I didn't know why I felt the need to touch her. All I knew was that feeling her skin against mine brought in me a feeling I was trying so hard to suppress, and I immediately felt the need to write a song. I let my arm fall back on my side, realizing she was not smiling anymore. Her lips were parted and she just nodded very slowly.

I suddenly got scared of everything this could imply. Would I just close off again and hurt her? I knew it was a possibility. I knew I could wake up in the morning realizing my mistake and turning into the cold hearted man I was with her only a few days ago. What would happen, then?

"Okay." she whispered. "Deal."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan au #niall horan college au #niall horan enemies to lovers #niall horan uni au #my fanfics #swy

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silma-words · 3 years

Note

#24 please for Adrian and mc

There it is, my first attempt at prompts! :) Thank you so much Anon and @adriansbiss for these great asks!

Apologies for merging your two requests into one, though, I hope you don’t mind. I was already well into #24 when the ask for #36 came up, and it fitted so well with what I had been writting that I couldn’t help myself 😊 Thank you both for sending the prompts, I had way too much fun working on these!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Choices: Bloodbound

Pairing: Adrian Raines x MC (Ellie)

Rating: Mature/ NSFW (+18)

Category: Fluffy smut (is that even a thing?)

AU Chronology: Bloodbound AU (after book 1 – the events of book 2 never happened) – Before "The right thing to do"

Summary: Just a bit of weekend fluff for Adrian and Ellie, inspired by prompts #24 and #36 from Prompt List #1:

#24-“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”

#36-“Is that my shirt?”.

Warning: A little bit of cursing, and quite a lot of touching 😉

Words: 3300 words (got a little carried away here)

**Disclaimer: Characters and background plot are the property of Pixelberry.**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cursed

It was late afternoon when Adrian woke up from his much-needed Saturday sleep in, after the insane week he just had at the office. He was so fast asleep that for once, he had not been woken up when Ellie had snuck out of bed in the middle of the afternoon, getting on quietly with her business around his apartment, as she often did most week-ends if she was staying over.

He probably would have slept longer if it had not been from the sudden racket that echoed across the penthouse and that made Adrian jump in alert. For a second he worried that it might be a burglary, or some kind of home invasion scenario, judging from the sounds of tumbling kitchenware and slamming doors. That was until he could make out above the dim a series of curse words and groans, making him smile and shake his head with a chuckle: Ellie was clearly up to something, and whatever it was, it was not going according to plan.

Slowly getting up to head towards the crime scene, he looked around for the shirt he had tossed aside before going to bed and let out a long, amused sigh when he could not find it, understanding that it was probably worn by the woman currently tearing his kitchen apart. She always did that.

Giving up on the shirt and quickly putting on his black sweatpants, he carefully pried the door open to have a sneak peek at what was going on out there.

His suspicions were quickly confirmed. Ellie was busy rummaging through the kitchen cupboards, the rest of the room a mess, mumbling and swearing in turn at the kitchen appliances and at her tablet, her shorts and his shirt covered in flour and stains of unidentifiable origin. He had no idea what the hell she was ranting about, but it was clear from the smells hanging around the living room and the open plan kitchen that she had tested a new recipe – probably from an online blog, judging on the way she insulted the tablet resting on the counter – and that it was not a success.

Adrian could not help but keep observing her from his spot with an amused grin, Ellie too absorbed by her battle against the universe to notice him leaning against the doorframe. Although he was used to see her cook or bake – and usually pretty well – it was an unusual sight to see her loose her tempter. She was usually pretty calm and well-organised, enjoying the peacefulness of the activity when following a recipe, or the creativity of it when she got to be adventurous and imagine something from scratch. Her calm and composure were also something he would praise at work, as she would often help diffuse some heated negotiations or business interactions with tactful interventions, although she did lose her tempter a few times when facing particularly obnoxious individuals.

Seeing her so worked up over a situation like this was, weirdly, a heart-warming sight for Adrian. He’d much rather watch her get angry at a misbehaving blender than at one of Lester’s disgusting innuendos. However, he’d probably better intervene sooner rather than later, more particularly before she could notice him standing there, potentially getting her even more worked up thinking he was mocking her.

Finally making a move towards the kitchen, he cleared his throat lightly to avoid startling her and pissing her off over more, greeting her as casually as his amusement allowed it. “Hey beautiful! Everything all right?”.

She swirled around abruptly, her hands filled with random items she had just grabbed from the pantry, the surprise her eyes quickly shifting to annoyance. “Does it look like everything is all right?!” she snapped, before letting out a long groan and rolling her eyes seconds after seeing Adrian’s reaction.

She hated when he looked so contrite and innocent whenever she was in a bad mood, like a deer caught in the headlights. She hated how cute it made him look and how guilty it made her feel for snapping at him for no decent reason. She hated how much it made her swoon even more. *Damn you, Adrian Raines!*

Adrian held back a smile, fully capable by now to read her facial expression and the changes in her heartbeat to know when he was gaining ground during moments like that – as rare as they were. Stepping a little closer and taking in the view of the carnage she had made of the kitchen, he risked asking, “Care to explain what the issue is and how I can help, maybe?”.

Ellie sighed once more, still fumbling around the room searching for something and cursing under her breath. “That…. ‘effin… dumbass… recipe… has all the proportions wrong….” she grunted behind clenched teeth, barely intelligible, knocking angrily her tablet aside in a small cloud of flour.

“And now… I’ve used up all of the right ingredients… and have been trying to find adequate alternatives for the last hour….”. She let out another annoyed grunt while turning her back to him and stepping back to investigate the top shelf of one of the cupboards, obviously still distracted by her mission, dead set on rescuing this failed recipe at all costs.

“And I guess the alternatives did not work out?”, Adrian risked softly, trying to make sense of all the discarded items and used pots abandoned across the room.

“Nope. It did not” she replied with an annoyed sigh. “Nothing worked, and now I am out of alternatives, or I can’t find anything in this damn kitchen!... oh, and your blender and food processors are shit, by the way!”. Slamming the door of the cupboard shut, she raised her hands in the air as if cursing at the universe, her fists tight in defiance, still her back to Adrian.

Settling his back against the kitchen island to watch the scene, Adrian couldn’t help but smile. Yes, she had made a mess of the place and had probably destroyed his blender and food processor. Yes, she also had ruined his shirt in the process. And yes, she had been unnecessarily sharp in her answers to him just a few minutes before. But damn, she was so adorable when she got so passionate about things like this! Her tiny figure, only covered by her shorts and his stolen shirt, standing in front of him pointing her fists at the sky, was a sight that had to be reckoned with.

Her hair was a mess, tied in a loose bun, because she didn’t bother brushing them on days off like this. Her feet were covered in flour and other bits of random ingredients that had fallen to the floor, because she would always walk around the apartment bare feet. Her shirt – well, his – had barely a few buttons fastened, because she never bothered too much with these in the first place, and she always got too hot when she was moving around the house. Her cheeks were flushed, and the tips of her ears were pink from the exertion caused by her fumbling and cursing around. She had food stains up to her elbows, and from what he could see, something must have splattered in front of her at some point – likely due to his faulty blender, he deduced - because she had some tiny stains scattered all across her cleavage. Adrian loved being able to see this side of her, far from the professional look that he would see around the office on working nights.

When Ellie turned around, done with her complaints to the gods, she was still fuming, but interrupted her mumbling when she saw the smirk on Adrian’s face. “What?”, she grunted once more, standing straight in front of him, her hand on her hip, taunting him. “You think my pain and misery are funny, don’t you?!”.

Adrian chuckled at her adorable angry pout, and smiled even wider than before. “No at all” he reassured her, with the usual gentle tone that he would always use in casual conversation.

He then made a move to step closer, his eyes suddenly bright with mischief, his gait and his gaze nearly predatory. Swiftly bridging the gap between them to stand right before her and force her to lie back against the kitchen counter, he settled his hands on the marble behind her to girdle her tiny, dishevelled form. His face now only inches from hers, he then simply added, with the lowest, huskier voice he could manage “I was just thinking that… you’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”.

Taken aback by both Adrian’s sudden closeness and by the gleam in his eyes, it took Ellie a few seconds to register what he had just said. Her eyes darting between his clear blue eyes and the discarded ingredients on the kitchen island behind him, she grunted slightly, her brain still too worked up to figure out what she could answer to that. Or whether she should answer at all.

“Yeah… right”, she only managed to mumble with a line drawn between her brows, clearly not convinced, before trying to wriggle herself out of Adrian’s encaging arms. However, the vampire would not budge. And there was nothing she could do against it.

“I think we should really try to work on your anger management, Miss Reed”, he purred in her ear, his breath hot on her skin, making her shiver despite the heat her body had been accumulating from her restless afternoon.

Finally drawing a breath and taking the time to stare back at Adrian properly, she felt her cheeks flush instantly, finally noticing the wicked grin gracing his features as his eyes kept darting between her mouth, her cheeks, and the vivid pulse throbbing in her neck.

*Damn you, Adrian Raines!* Damn him and that damn mischievous grin that wouldn’t leave these lips. Now, she was that stupid deer caught in the headlights! And he was fully aware of it.

Relinquishing how the tempo of her heartbeat had changed so quickly after he had trapped her, Adrian didn’t feel like anything could stop him from continuing to tease her. This was way too much fun, seeing her all dishevelled and fuming, confused between her previous state and the new sensory cues he was subjecting her too. This was way too delicious. And she was damn too fucking hot when she was mad.

Taking a step closer to trap her further between his body and the kitchen counter, he brushed a finger up along her arm, before tracing the shape of her clavicle on his way down her chest, reaching for the hem of the stained shirt she was wearing, and giving it a gentle tug.

“Is that my shirt?”, he questioned softly with an arch brow, his tone clearly teasing her as if about to reprimand her about it, his voice low and husky.

“Well…” She straightened herself, matching his false daring glare. “It was. Now it’s mine.” Her tone was challenging, her stance fierce, and her poker-face intact.

However, there was nothing she could do against Adrian’s hyper-senses and the way he could hear the blood rushing to her ears, feel the way her body temperature suddenly peaked, and see the goosebumps on her chest where his fingers had just trailed.

“Oh is it, now?” he chuckled, slowly drawing his finger down along the fabric, his eyes challenging hers. “Well, I'm sorry if I have to disagree with you, but I don't recall agreeing to this".

Ellie was boiling inside. Not that it had anything to do with anger and frustration any more. Maybe it had to do with the way he was looking at her. Or the low rumble of his voice that she could feel vibrate against her skin where their bodies touched. Or maybe it had to do with how his bare chest was pressing against her, his strong arms on either side of her acting as both a physical obstacle and a wicked temptation, the dark lines of his tattooed brand nearly brought to life as his muscles twitched and flexed, alert.

But she could not cave now. Not yet. She had to keep that poker face on, as long as she could. It was a matter of pride. Or maybe she just enjoyed playing the game.

“Well, not much you can do about it, Mr Raines, now that it's ruined", she simply stated, holding his daring glare, and putting a hand on his chest to make him back off *as if she wanted him to*.

“I don't care that it's ruined” he insisted, edging his mouth closer to hers to command, “I want it back".

His gaze did not waver, even when he noticed the way her pupils dilated at his words and the way her breath caught in her throat, her heart pounding louder in her chest, although she did her best to keep her composure.

“Fine", she blurted out, suddenly pushing him a few steps back, hastily reaching for the front of the shirt to undo the few buttons that she had bothered to fasten earlier in the day.

A flicker of a smile finally graced her face, mischievous, upon seeing Adrian’s eyes finally shifting away from hers to watch her fingers work on the fabric, their colour subtly darkening as more skin became exposed. His irises had completely turned to that mesmerizing gold that she knew so well by the time she had opened the blouse, revealing her round breasts unceremoniously and shrugging off the white material quickly, eager to shove it in his hands as an excuse to close the gap between them.

“Happy now?”, she grinned, pressing her body flush against his, pushing him backwards in the process until their motion was stopped by the cold marble of the kitchen island behind him.

“Can’t you tell?” he teased, subtly grinding his hips against her as he tossed the shirt to the floor to free his hands and grab her backside firmly.

That was it. That stiffness pressed proudly against her and those callous hands pulling her towards it were the end of her composure. And of Adrian’s as well, for that matter. A genuine and cheeky smile now lighting up her face and eyes dark with need, she threw her arms around his neck to reach for his mouth, locking her fingers in his hair to pull him closer so that she could wipe that stupid smirk from his face.

She kissed him as fiercely as she could, their lips clashing against each other in a wet mess of flesh and teeth, Ellie wriggling against his chest furiously as Adrian was trying to take over the control of their embrace.

Their dance had nothing gracious or flirtatious anymore. It was a fiery battle of mouths, grabbing and pulling, although both of them were wearing the same playful grin on their lips every time their eyes met and battled for control.

The endorphins in her body were sending confusing signals to her brain, torn between the will to prove herself feisty and able to dictate the game – which she was, as they both knew it already-, and the desire to let Adrian show her how much he wanted her right now.

Adrian was doing his best to hold back his strength and his urges, savouring the way the tension Ellie had accumulated from her frustrating culinary experiment had slowly morphed into a very different kind of tension under his touch and devouring eyes.

The satisfaction he was feeling from seeing her respond to him so well was not even about the power he knew he could have over her in moments like this. Because she had just as much power over him. It was about that trust that they were carefully building together and that allowed them to be themselves with each other. The kind of trust that could free you from your deepest insecurities and help you explore truly who you were. And although Adrian once thought that there was no more corner of himself that was left to unveil, she had gradually made him realise that he was wrong. And he wanted her to be empowered to do the same. Empowered to explore and discover who she was, and define who she wanted to be. And in this moment, she was entitled to express her frustration and blow it off in any she wanted to, even if the reason for her initial outburst was trivial and kind of amusing. He would stand by and take her cues, although incredibly eager to watch it all unravel under his eyes and against his skin.

The fire and hunger in her eyes and in her touch were not making it easy, though. Nor was the warmth of her chest against his and of her fingers playing with the hem of his sweatpants.

“I know the shirt was yours…” she chuckled between kisses, breathless, as she felt his hands fumbling with the waistband of her shorts. “… but I don't recall these ever belonging to you, Mr Raines". Her eyes were daring and mischievous. She was clearly enjoying their little power-play as much as he was. And it was intoxicating.

“Fair point, miss Reed” he conceded, before letting his lips trail down her throat. “But I do recall you assuring me very, very clearly, multiple times over the last few weeks, that what was underneath did belong to me”.

Ellie could not stop the giggle that escaped her lips at his words, the warmth pooling dangerously between her thighs and her cheeks flushing brightly as glimpses of the moments Adrian was referring to flashed in her head. By the time she had managed to pull herself back in the moment, he had already made quick work of the last bits of clothing she had left, and had taken advantage of that brief distraction to lift her from the ground. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, too aroused by now to keep pretending she had not been craving for this all along.

“So, where shall we take this, Miss Reed?” he whispered in her ear, his smile warm but his eyes dark with lust.

Ellie stared at him with hunger for a few seconds, taking the time to nip at his bottom lip as if carefully evaluating their options. “Hum… we wouldn’t want to make a mess of your bedroom, with all that flour and grime on me, wouldn’t we, Mr Raines?”.

“On this we can fully agree”, he muttered against her lips, before claiming her mouth again, her lips parting invitingly so that their tongues could meet.

Their kiss was long, gentle, and agonizingly chaste at first, but it took merely seconds for their heated bodies to yield to the yearning for each other once more, as if the dam that had been holding down their urges up to that point had now finally collapsed with a spectacular bang. Breathless and dizzy, Adrian could feel his legs stagger dangerously with the frenzy of Ellie’s kisses and the tantalizing way she was shamelessly slithering up and down against him, using all of her upper body strength to grind her hips along his length.

The next thing they knew, she was sat on the edge of the kitchen counter, his hips working urgently between her legs. Her fingers digging in his back. Her heels pressed into the back of his thighs, still covered by the fabric of his pants as none of them could have been bothered to pull them further down than what was required. Her mouth was devouring every inch of his chest, muffling the cries that she could not control any more.

Lost in the comfort of their entwined bodies and echoing moans, Ellie could not remember how the hell this all started in the first place. Her earlier furious complaint to the gods was now long forgotten, only to be replaced by curses of a very different kind.

~~~~~~~~~~

(Still accepting prompts from List #1 Imagines and nsfw prompts)

Tag list:

@adriansbiss

@itsjustwinter

@shanzay44

@purvishraick

@choicesficwriterscreations

#bloodbound #bloodbound choices #adrian raines #adrian raines x mc #bloodbound fanfiction #choices fanfiction #play choices #choices #choices bb #writing prompt #asks #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week #choices stories you play

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bellylivesthepoguelife · 4 years

Text

Overwhelmed. John B x Sarah

Request: Hi! How about a college related drabble? Sarah is super overwhelmed with exams coming up and calls John B starting to panic. He comes to see her and plans a whole night to distract her and comfort her 🥰

Word Count: 1.7K

A/N: I know that I didn’t QUITE follow the whole request on this, but it was getting a bit long, so I hope that makes up for it! I wrote this after I wrote the 500 words of pure angst for these two, so I apologize if it’s a little too angsty. Also, I’m still trying to get comfortable writing the comedic/banter parts of a lot of the pogues relationships. (I’m just not naturally witty so I really have to try!) Anyways, I hope you like it! Please let me know what you think!

Heroes and Villains of the Middle Ages was not a class that Sarah Cameron would have ever taken for fun. But when it satisfied one of her General Education requirements, it's not like she really had much of a choice in the matter. The fact that the professor was about as fascinating as the girls from high school that messaged her saying she'd be a "perfect fit" for joining their pyramid marketing business didn't help. So having to write an essay on 4 chapters of her "textbook" (each chapter ranging anywhere between 30-50+ pages long) was grating her brain, as she legitimately has zero desire to complete it.

An hour into her attempt to read the assigned chapters had her overwhelmed. She couldn't even pretend to find the content interesting, she had no clue how she was going to write a 1,000 word essay on it, and to put the icing on the cake: this was one of four that needed to be completed in the next two weeks as part of her final exam. Exasperated at the thought, she throws the book half way across the room as she finished the second chapter. Making it halfway through warrants a break, right?

She scrolls through instagram to allow her brain to run on auto-pilot for awhile. She scrolls past a photo JJ posted 43 minutes ago, of him, John B, and Kie hanging out at the Chateau. JJ snapped the photo, Kie leaning into him, laughing, while John B is in the background making a "you-caught-me-doing-something-I-shouldn't-have" face, no doubt saying something resulting in the laughs from the other two.

The picture makes her smile. Not just because it's of her friends, but also because between John B and JJ, they'll do just about anything to make their friends laugh. It causes her heart to flutter, and she decides to call him to further distract herself.

It doesn't take long for him to pick up, but it's not John B who answers the phone, it's JJ. "Hey Princess! How's college treatin' ya?!"

"Busy, boring, and yet still somehow not captivating enough to keep me from missing you."

"Oh, so you do miss me."

She rolled her eyes, "of course I do JJ."

"Not as much as you miss JB though, I'm sure." There's a pause, but before she can respond he's rushing out the words: "Oh, speaking of! Okay, Here's John B, I'll talk to you later, love you bye!"

She can tell John B is pulling the phone away from him by the decrescendo of his voice as he gets farther from the microphone. However, the sound of her boyfriends voice filling the speaker at her ear makes her smile even more.

"Hey Val." He greets, and she can tell he's smiling.

"Vlad. I must say it is nice to know that JJ misses me. Even though he won't admit it in as many words."

"Yeah, I think it's safe to say we all do."

"Is Kie still there?"

"Nah, she has to work tomorrow so she went home about 20 minutes ago. How did you know she was over?"

"I saw the picture JJ posted on instagram."

"Ahhh, yeah, that would explain it." She heard him walking around, saying goodnight to JJ before closing what she assumed was the door to his bedroom.

"Did y'all have fun?"

"We did- JJ what the hell, I just told you goodnight." He must have opened the door to John B's room.

Sarah could hear JJ say, "yeah but I didn't say goodnight to Princess! Night Princess!" He calls louder, making sure she can hear him.

"Goodnight JJ!" She calls back, knowing she was more than likely on speaker phone.

"Night Birdshit!" is the last thing she hears before she hears the door slam.

John B is back on the phone in an instant. "I swear, I might actually kill him tonight."

She laughs at their antics, and a bittersweet feeling settles in her chest as she realizes just how much she misses her friends.

"So," John B starts again, "How's your homework coming?"

Sarah scoffs. "Don't remind me."

"That bad?"

"It's just this class is so boring!" He's heard her rant about it a million times, but he lets her do it again. "I mean, it's a 400 level class. And I understand those are the more difficult ones, but--fuck--this is hard, and it's not even interesting in the slightest!"

"Which makes it only about a million times worse."

"It does!" She agrees, thankful that he's empathetic to her suffering. "And I have my Chemistry final next week, and my English 102 research paper due the week after. Nevermind the final project for my Geology, and Quantitative Reasoning class that I've only just started on--" She's ranting, and she knows it.

"Woah. Easy there, Val." He chuckles despite her. "You'll work yourself up."

"I am worked up!" The more she talks, the more overwhelmed she gets, and soon she realizes she's pacing her small room. "I just want to come home." The confession almost stuns her as she's catapoulted into a sea of homesickness, and even the knowledge that she'll be home for the summer in two weeks time doesn't even begin to calm the waves.

"You'll be home in a couple weeks, babe. Just 2 more, and then you're mine for the summer."

She knows he's trying to change her perspective, but she's not in the mood tonight. She's sad, and wants the space to allow herself to be sad. A half-hearted "yeah" is all she manages.

"Hey," John B doesn't miss the dejected tone of her voice, realizing how upset she truly is. "It's gonna be alright, Val. 2 more weeks is a piece of cake after the past seven months."

They'd seen each other since she started college, of course, but even then, the last time they were together was when she came home for Wheezie's lacrosse game 5 weeks ago. And after spending almost every day of last summer together, the distance began to do it's damage. Not on their relationship, no, their relationship was still so, so good. It was just on nights like tonight, when she was so overwhelmed that no matter what she thought of, it only made the drowning feeling three times worse.

She feels her throat tighten and before it even registers that she's getting emotional, she feels the gentle pricks behind her eyes indicating it won't be long and she'll be crying. "It's just really hard right now." She confesses, annoyed with how her voice is full of emotion, which is going to cause John B to go into his protective, "I'll-be-your-hero-and-fix-everything" mode.

And sure as shit, his tone becomes softer, and he's building her up. "I know it is, Sarah, but you're doing so well. I know this has been an adjustment for you, and for us, and it hasn't been easy, but you've been doing so well. You're killing it at college, and you only have these last two weeks, these last exams and projects and then you're home for the summer."

She nods, knowing that he's speaking truth, but still feeling discouraged. "It's just, everything's happening at once right now, and I'm just so overwhelmed, and there's just so much pressure riding on these last projects, and--I just want you."

"What do you mean?" She can tell he's laughing at her rambling confession.

"I mean I just want you. I miss you, John B." Great, that broke the dam, and now she's really crying. "I miss hugging you, and kissing you, and just being next to you. Because at least when I was home and busy, we were still together. Now I have to do all of this by myself, and I just feel so alone, and I just want to come home." She didn't intend to share all of these subconscious thoughts and feelings when she called him on the phone. She had initially just called for a distraction, and to see how JJ and Kie were doing. But sometimes the breakdowns come when you least expect them.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" The question is not how she expected him to respond.

She sniffs, thinking through what her Saturday plans were. "I'm- going to finish this essay, probably work on my projects, and study?" She phrases it like a question, even though she's answering his. After hearing silence for a little too long, she adds, "Why?"

"I'm on my way."

"What?" If she wasn't expecting him to ask what she was doing tomorrow, she REALLY doesn't expect him to say he's coming to see her at 10pm on a Friday.

"What do you mean you're on your way."

"I'm coming to see you." He answers as if it's the simplest thing in the world. She can hear his smile as he talks, probably patting himself on the back for being the hopeless romantic, her knight in shining armor, coming to distract her from her scholarly obligations.

"John B, you don't have to do that." Of course, she wants him to. But it's a ways to drive, and she knows his van isn't cheap to fill with gas.

"Shut up Val." He laughs. "I'm going to spend the weekend with you. But on one condition." He thinks, and then doubles back. "Okay, two conditions."

She rolls her eyes, always thinking there's no way she can be more in love with this man, and then he does stuff like this to prove her wrong. "And what are your conditions?"

"One. You have to write your essay. And I'm going to help you study. You don't just get a 'get out of jail free' card just because your man is coming to see you." He gets her to laugh with that one.

"My man?"

"Yes. That is what I am, isn't it? Your man?"

"Sure. And what's the second condition?"

"You have to buy me my own bag of Skinny Pop." Her eyes automatically roll for probably the 15th time tonight. "Okay, agreed. I will go to the store, and buy you your own bag of Skinny Pop."

"And you can't have any of it." He ammends.

"Alright, fine. And I won't have any of it." She grudgingly agrees.

"Deal."

"That settles it then! I'm on my way!"

"Drive safe, loser."

"I love you, Sarah."

She smiles to herself. "I love you too, John B."

"I'm serious though, don't eat my Skinny Pop before I get there."

#jarah b #john b x sarah writings #john b x sarah #obx writings #sarah cameron #john b routledge #jarah b requests #writing requests #obx requests #outer banks writing #college sarah cameron #long distance jarah b

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steve0discusses · 4 years

Text

Yugioh Ep33 S4 pt 2: The Best Storyboarder Came Back Just so They Could Draw Tristan Getting Hit in the Nuts

OK lets just get to the good stuff.

God bless you, storyboarder.

(read more under the cut)

The team has entered the Atlantis lair of Dartz, which is also accessible through Paradius in San Fransisco, but youknow...we don’t have magic so it’s not like we could’ve skipped like 10 minutes and just done that instead of the helicopter escape, the Military moment, and the ride through a hurricane.

Oh wait, we do have magic, that’s right...well...for now, pretend we don’t.

Enjoy the snakes.

Strangely, Kaiba does not feel comfortable with the snakes, when snakes really just a smaller and cuter dragon. I love snakes. Never owned one...but I trust em.

Dartz has the Yugioh “old guy” aesthetic of “We just really like yellowed sandstone”

I get that they want this place (and also Yami’s house) to look like a tomb so there won’t be any paint on the wall but this is just a pet peeve of mine that Ancient times freakin loved garish colors on the wall in layers and layers of patterns and yet in fiction we never show that.

But...it doesn’t go with the vibe. I’ll let it go because it would absolutely ruin the vibe to have a bunch of swirly stuff in neon orange and green.

Before we have a chance to grab a step stool and just kinda yoink Yugi Muto, Dartz shows up, and this shot happens.

I couldn’t not grab a cap of that. I mean...look at it. It is SO HARD to foreshorten hands so it looks right and then bam they just did that. It’s just...

...I’ve been breaking down foreshortening in Yugioh shots for a while now trying to figure out why when I do it, it looks like a busted huge hand, but when they do it, it looks really good, and I’m starting to realize that maybe it’s more than just stacking but also...the composition?

You can’t really look at this picture as a whole. The hand is such a strong focal point that you must start there, and then follow down the arm to the face. I think when I do these foreshortening shots I make the hand the same weight as the face, and that’s my downfall. You gotta let the composition force the viewer to slow down and take time in order for the optical illusion to happen...maybe? I’m like over 30 now, you’d think I’d figure this out by now.

Whatever, that’s another post.

So like...what happened to those two people who used to be there????

And now prepare thyself for my lazy math. I know this math is bad. For people out there who feel like working out the geometric growth and calculate just how many souls Dartz slurps up--feel free to tell me. If I like the explanation, I will adjust the Death Count to match it. It’s just too 2020 for me to do more than multiplication at the moment.

Did I count how many people would have existed 10,000 years ago? no. Did I account for plagues? No. Like this math of 4 a day is bad...but eh it’s all I got right now in my mental ammunition.

Something that we did think about was...

Why not slurp up the Pharaoh soul when Yami was still alive? Like we assume the puzzle existed in the past but like...did Yami not get superpowered until Yugi woke him up? Was he in fact useless until he got a little bit of a battery charge during Season Zero when he was dumping people off of bell towers?

And like I get not knowing about the underground Ishtars, and not being able to get a hold of Shadi because Shadi is a lazy ghost, but Bakura was RIGHT THERE. You can’t munch up Pegasus off screen and then say “eh but Bakura’s kinda low tier” we know for a fact that Bakura is not...so like...there must have been some copyright situation where they couldn’t use certain characters. This is a filler arc--but it would have been nice to have at least some explanation as to why it took Dartz so long to finally murder the hell out of Pharaoh.

Which is me expecting way too much out of this show. Just something I was really hoping would get addressed but leave it for the headcanon.

It’s at this point that Mokuba realized he’s standing on top of people.

A crypt made out of human souls! Crazy, usually we’re in a crypt made out of one single human soul....and both of these crypts have Yugi in it.

In Raphael’s storyline, he’s been busy just cleaning up after everyone else. It’s supposed to come off as very serious but I was totally busting up when he’s just dropping bodies into the back of this jeep.

And in the Kaiba Corp plotline, Roland is anxiously wondering if he should be a Dad and save the kids or if he should be a dog and stay in the plane.

He stays in the plane.

Strangely this was the right call. (And this is why Roland has never died)

So they start throwing around cards, as you do, and Dartz puts down his Orichalcos, has he does, when suddenly...they started seeing stuff again. Can’t have a single card game without it.

So the Orichalcos is just a backstory device? For reals?

Something I alluded to quite a few episodes back with Valon was just...wondering why the hell the Orichalcos crew had so much freakin magic as to make all these visions during duels. Turns out...it’s just a thing to occasionally trip on Oricalchos juice. I’m not sure why we never had a vision with Mai, Weevil, Rex, or Gurimo, but at least we now know that Raphael and Valon weren’t as magical as I thought they were.

So we’re in like...outer space. Kind of the last place you’d expect out of ancient Atlantis and Dartz isn’t having ANY OF IT.

And honestly that makes sense. Imagine giving someone 10,000 years ago the run down on outer space. They’d freak. They’d definitely think you’re talking about demons.

If space is an elaborate analogy, we don’t know that yet. For how this is presented, it’s just an old man hootin and hollerin about how much space sucks, and I love that.

PS how anime is this shot of the earth behind the orichalcos symbol and the dude in the middle with the ass length blue hair--really damn anime, right?

Like at least one of you has this wall hanging, right?

For those that are too tired to look it up, Pangea was 280-230 million years ago.

THAT REALLY CHANGES MY MATH.

AND I’M TOO TIRED.

So my thoughts are...either the math is wrong and I’ll fix it eventually in post, depending on my mood come next Wednesday, OR...humanity was deleted and then came back later??? (because the dawn of mankind was 7 million years ago)

OR...

They just felt like drawing Pangea 10 million years ago. Maybe that’s all. Maybe I don’t have to fix anything. I dunno.

Maybe this isn’t Earth.

Maybe Yugioh Earth never had Loma Preita because it isn’t actually Earth. And, like a Final Fantasy situation, is a second planet on a parallel plane of our own?

Either way, I’m not redoing the math because I actually don’t know how to change it anymore. I’m v undecided of the timeline now......maybe the next episode will tell us more? (I doubt this very much)

RIP deathcount.

Yo Atlantis!

I have a lot of questions!

About Atlantis!

And the purpose of the aqueduct going the wrong direction.

Is that in fact the poop shoot?

But wtv it looks neat.

So anyway, that’s all for now, I hope you enjoyed my bad math, and I hope you enjoy your Halloween. Ours is a whole lot of nothing. I’ll be watching lots of Phasmaphobia streams while eating Butterfingers that I legally can’t give to children because it’s an epidemic (butterfingers is like the last candy that my old 30 yo ass can handle without passing out or gagging. Weird how getting older makes me hate all the good things I couldn’t eat when I was younger because I was too young to be allowed to eat them.) and that’s about it.

WHY did Halloween finally fall on a Saturday DURING an epidemic? I only get so many Saturday Halloweens in my youth...just why.

(and here’s a link to read these in chrono order)

#ygo #yugioh #recap #photo recap #humor #atlantis #yami #seto kaiba #mokuba #dartz #tristan taylor #getting hit in the nuts #roland #hallucinating while playing cards who knew?#S4 #Ep33

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

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Understanding and acceptance: a short story consisting of things that actually happened

[A/N: I was on the phone with my mum and she told me that I seem to be in a creative mood and that I should write something. I decided to kill two birds with one stone and share a personal story while also writing it as if it’s fiction. So here goes.]

Word count: 2K

-- 2 weeks ago --

It’s a quiet Saturday evening. My brother Max and I are walking home together, deep in conversation. I have no memory of what the conversation had been about when it started, but I do remember that it somehow got to this:

‘...all this assuming you’re straight, of course, and I’m not assuming anything--’

‘What does being straight mean?’ Max says in a tone that tells me he genuinely doesn’t know. So I feel obligated to explain it in the simplest terms possible. ‘Well, in your case it would mean that you, a boy, like girls.’

‘Well, that’s the normal thing for any person!’ He nearly cuts me off with this. I calculate my next step carefully.

‘Not every person,’ I say, keeping my voice as calm as possible. ‘I’m not straight.’ Of course, he knows that. I came out to my whole family at once three years ago, hoping for the awkward discussions to be over with that. It hasn’t worked out quite as I envisioned it yet.

‘Yeah, but you’re not normal either,’ Max parries. Can’t argue with that. Lucky for me, that is when we reach the front door and each one goes off to mind their own business.

I know very well just how ‘not normal’ I am. Not in that cliche ‘I’m not like other girls’ way, but in a way that causes Bulgarians undereducated on mental health and identity labels (which is unfortunately most people over 30) to brand a person clinically insane, unstable, a threat to the Traditional Bulgarian Family™. Being aroace and having severe social anxiety and ADHD to top it off, I hardly classify as ‘normal’. This is a frequent cause for arguments at the dinner table at home, most of which end in a. tears and/ or a panic attack on my part, b. my father storming off and pretending to be asleep whenever someone goes to call him back to dinner, c. my brother gluing himself to his phone, leaving his plate half-untouched, d. my mother crying over ‘what kind of mother am I that I can’t even have my family together at the table once’, and usually e. all of the above.

For this scenario to play out, however, the whole family of four is required to be present. So fortunately it only happens every other weekend when Dad and I come back home from the capital, where we have been living for the better part of three years now, ever since he got promoted and I started uni. When I’m away from my loving but over-controlling mum and my brother, who seemed to become obnoxious overnight the moment he turned 13 a little over a year ago, I usually have significantly fewer reasons to cry or feel anxious about... you name it. So we do fine. For the most part.

-- this evening --

I am watching Joe and Frankie’s performance of A Whole New World for the thousandth time today when I get a text from Mum.

Mum: How’s my girl doing?

Mum: I haven’t been able to hear from you with all the fuss about your brother.

Max is at that point in his education where he’s applying for high schools. His exam results have just come in and now everyone in the family is stressing about whether his scores will be enough to get him into the school he wants to go to. It’s a big deal, but with all the Rodfini magic going on (and with how terribly behind I am on my internship assignment) I have just been completely unable to care.

Speaking of Rodfini and A Whole New World, I have been repressing the instinctive urge to send my mum the video all day, and when I get her texts, I almost nearly muster up the courage to do it. But between me and her, this is not something you do over text. So I give her a ring instead.

When she picks up, the sound of her voice combined with the anxiety over what I want to tell her makes me tear up and the words are stuck in my throat.

‘Erm-- Mum, can I tell you something?’ I say, still not sure if I’m not about to regret taking up the subject at all.

‘Dear, you know you can tell me anything,’ she says, sounding concerned at my obviously-trying-to-swallow-tears voice.

‘You mean it?’ I ask, listening to her tone to make sure. I wish I could read tones better. ‘Anything?’

‘Is something wrong, honey?’ Oh gods, she’s in a really benevolent mood. I grow more and more afraid of ruining that with my ‘obsession with gays’.

‘Erm, so I guess you should know Dad and I had the tiniest disagreement just now,’ I say, deciding last minute to start with something she might deem ‘more relevant to the family’s personal lives’. ‘You know, we were watching the Euros and then the match ended and we watched the news, and then Dad changed the channel so he could watch the next match. And I was like ‘whoa, what’s with the video quality’, and so dad was like ‘you really need go get your eyes checked out’; and I tried to explain that there was a very obvious difference in quality between the two channels, and he kept yelling at me that I was ruining my eyesight spending all day staring at a screen.’

‘Did he sound annoyed or just concerned?’ Mum asks me.

‘I know what you’re thinking. And I know full well that he’s my parent and he’s concerned about my health. But you should have heard his tone.’

‘So are you two in a fight now?’

‘No. Well, I don’t know.’ I really don’t. It’s hard to tell when one side of the argument refuses to talk about his feelings as if that will kill him. But I don’t tell Mum that. She’s been dealing with Dad since long before I was even planned, so she knows him better than I do. ‘The thing is, he called me back and said that, well, one of the channels was HD and the other was not, so there was indeed a difference, but he thought it was ‘unnatural’ that I was able to register it so immediately, and he kept insisting there was something wrong with my eyes. I should think that seeing something quickly would be a sign of good vision, not bad. Besides,’ I keep talking, nearly desperate to justify myself, ‘I did some research and sensitivity to light is a symptom of ADHD. So it’s nothing new, really.’

‘Oh, please, dear. You’re of a new generation, and ADHD is something of the older generation. Don’t be so quick to self-diagnose.’

I guess there’s some reason to what she says, or at least the last part of it, so I give up on pursuing the subject further. ‘Yeah, anyway,’ I say, ‘I just thought it was all a bit rich coming from the man who refuses to wear his prescription glasses. I haven’t got any prescription glasses, you know.’

I don’t want to come off too cheeky because I still want to try and talk to her about how happy Rodfini have made me today. A while ago, Mum would accuse me of only calling her to complain when I was unhappy, so I have since made it a point to call her when I am happy and tell her so. That’s why I’ve been itching to share this with her. And now the time has come.

‘You know, I’ve been crying in a completely different way today,’ I begin tentatively. ‘A good way, A really, really good way,’ I add quickly before she can get worried again.

‘Yeah? So what was it that made you so happy that you cried?’ Goodness, there’s no turning back now. I decide to proceed with caution.

‘Oh, well, it was this performance, you know. A really beautiful song. So I’ve been wanting to show it to you, but I was worried about how you’d react.’

‘And why would that be?’ she asks in the same kind tone that keeps making me anxious about potentially ruining everything.

‘Well, erm...’ I feel myself start to stutter. ‘See, it’s a love song, and it’s... ok, I’ll just say it. It’s sung by two guys. As in, a couple, you see.’ I keep feeling up the ground with my words, anxious to hear her reaction. It’s like when I’m opening an exam result -- I want to know, but I’m too scared to look. And so now, in my anxious despair to know what she thinks about it, I miss the beginning of her response. ‘And I know how you are about those things, so I...’ I genuinely don’t know what to say. I’ve done my thing again. I’ve kept talking so much that she hasn’t even been able to react audibly. So I trail off, determined to let her speak this time.

‘Ok, but... why do you get so affected by those things?’ Mum says, starting to sound suspiciously like she’s about to question my own orientation again. I feel the need to justify myself for the second time since the conversation has started.

‘Well, it’s just that... I really wish you would just see them, Mum. If you could just see how they look at each other, you’d see that there’s just love. So much love. And joy at being able to express themselves as they are.’

I’m speaking from the heart now. I am finally letting out how much I want her to give them a chance because she deserves to see and hear their magical performance. She must be sensing the anguished sincerity in my voice as I finally manage to stop crying and I smile through the tears, because she says, ‘Dear, are you... are you trying to tell me something there?’

I sigh. She’s asked me this question nearly every time I’ve started speaking ‘too’ passionately about anything LGBTQ+ Which isn’t an awful lot in her presence, but there have been several occasions. Once about Solangelo, at the beach. Once about NPH and his husband David and their children, at the dinner table, as I was trying to explain how same-sex couples can have kids; that one resulted in a seriously bad scene of the type I described earlier. Once about a participant in a reality show who identified as a gay man then, but has recently come out as a trans woman; whenever she’s been mentioned on television, I’ve fought to repress my inner urge to express my happiness for her and the representation she is for the Bulgarian LGBTQ+ community. I wonder even now if my parents have noticed my silence on the subject -- because they certainly do notice when I am not silent.

So now, when the time seems to have come for me to set things straight about my non-straight-ness (bad pun very much intended), I try my best to keep my voice from shaking. ‘I’m not trying to tell you anything I haven’t already told you, Mum. Really.’

‘Are you perhaps attracted to the same gender, dear?’ It seems so unbelievable that she’s said it, and even more that she’s worded like that, but she really has. I force myself to be calm and patient.

‘No, Mum. I’ve told you -- I am not attracted to any gender, be it male, female or anything else, really. You know that.’

‘Well, it sounded as if you--’

‘No, Mum. Really. But I do need you to understand that part of my identity is that I feel the need to support people with other identities different from straight. I’m happy for their successes. I'm concerned about their issues. They’re a sort of family to me. Do you understand that?’ I say, relieved to be speaking my truth at last. At the same time, I try to sound as reasonable and mature about the whole thing as possible. I don’t want to put her off, especially not now that I’m knee-deep in the subject already. I’ve gone too far to turn back now.

‘Yes, honey. Yes, I do. I just don’t want you to exert yourself emotionally, is all. Plus I’ve been so stressed out about your brother and all, you know...’

‘Yeah, I do know. And I know he’ll be fine. He’s a nice boy. I just wished he didn’t keep calling me ‘abnormal’ all the time...’

‘Oh, well, don’t listen to him. He’s been quite stressed out too. And he’s 14. It’s just how he is at this age.’

I’m not too sure about that. ‘Boys will be boys’. It’s ok for boys, then, to pour salt into their neurodivergent sisters’ wounds? I don’t think so. But I can’t fix every problem in one talk. Plus my mum sounds tired now.

So I just say, ‘I guess... Well, anyway, thank you so much, Mum. For hearing me out, and for supporting me, and for everything else. Please don’t worry so much.’

But I know she can’t not worry at all. I’ve got that from her.

‘If you’re sure you’re all ok now, dear...’

‘Yeah, mum, I am. Or I will be. You know, there’s this expression with English, ‘to run with something’. So I’ve been telling myself, I’ll at least try to walk with things. You know I’m not much of a runner anyway.’ I actually laugh, even though the pun is quite untranslatable into Bulgarian.

‘You know I’m proud of you, right?’

I know that has very little to do with the kind of pride I’ve been celebrating all month, but I say, ‘Of course I do. And you know what? I’m quite proud of myself, too.’ I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I mean it. I mean it wholeheartedly this time.

‘I’m nearly falling asleep, though, dear, so I say we call it a night?’

‘Good night, Mummy. And thanks.’

I hang up. Then I forward the video to her.

I’ve come so far, indeed. I reckon we both have.

#writing #personal #asexual #aromantic #lgbtq+#jnk #rodfini #frankie rodriguez #joe serafini #solangelo #hoo #neil patrick harris #family #family dynamics #found family #pride month #adhd #long post

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365days365movies · 3 years

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April 8, 2021: Swiss Army Man (2016) (Recap: Part One)

Don’t think about the Boy who Lived.

Daniel Radcliffe is a talented actor with a wider range than he’s given credit for. He’s been working since childhood, and has picked up quite a lot over time. While most famous for...a certain role that will go unnamed...he famously started his stage career in 2007 with the musical Equus, and that later progressed to How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, and Endgame.

Meanwhile, he also made appearances of television in varied roles, live-action and animated. He started his career in an adaptation of David Copperfield in 1999, voiced a character on The Simpsons three separate times, hosted Saturday Night Live in 2012, and also currently has an excellent role in the anthology series Miracle Workers.

And MEANWHILE, he also had quite the robust film career, especially after...the role which shall not be named. There were a few films made during that time period, like December Boys and The Woman in Black, but most of his time was understandably taken up, as was his public image. That, of course, ends in 2011. The first time I saw him in a role outside he who shall not be named was in the film Kill Your Darlings, about the collegiate career and romance in the life of famous gay poet Allen Ginsburg. It was very good!

The same year, 2013, he starred in Horns, a unique fantasy film that I considered watching for Fantasy March. His film career would be full of ups (The F Word, Trainwreck, Lost in London) and downs (Victor Frankenstein, Now You See Me 2, Playmobil: the Movie oh God REALLY JESUS). And right in the middle of those came one of his most famous weird roles. And that’s today’s focus. And I’ve been wanting to watch it for YEARS. And while we’re talking about him, let’s talk about this film’s other star: Paul Dano.

Dano’s career also began young, and in the opposite way to Radcliffe’s: in theatre first. After a stint on Broadway at the age of 12 (GODDAMN) in Inherit the Wind, as well as several other productions, he transitioned to film in 2000, around the same time that Radcliffe started as well. Eventually, he gained acclaim with his role in Little Miss Sunshine, and then...anybody else in the mood for a milkshake right about now?

Yeah, I haven’t seen that movie, but I really should this year. Consider it on my list...at some point. I’ll figure it out. Anyway, Dano’s role in There Will Be Blood only increased his acclaim, and found him acting in a number of indie films. Dano’s definitely not a blockbuster guy, but that’s not to say that he completely avoids them either. He’s been in Knight and Day, Cowboys and Aliens, and Looper, which all fall under that category. And except for the last one...they aren’t especially good, either.

But again, he was also in 12 Years a Slave, Okja, Wildlife, Where the Wild Things Are, and Meek’s Cutoff, and all of those were critically acclaimed, and some almost reached blockbuster status themselves. So I don’t really know how to feel about his upcoming role as...the Riddler.

Yeah, we’ll see, but I’m holding my breath. Dano’s great, and I love the Riddler, but...I dunno. Like I said, we’ll see. But in the meantime, that’s enough navel-gazing. Let’s watch Swiss Army Man! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We begin at sea. If you have thalassophobia, this is already terrifying for you. After seeing many plastics floating on the ocean, covered in written messages, we make our way to a deserted island, where Hank Thompson (Paul Dano) is committing suicide after being stranded there for so long.

However, as he does, he spies someone lying on the beach. The rope snaps, and Hank runs over to greet the body, hoping that he isn’t dead. Unfortunately, after a very loud burst of flatulence, it’s pretty damn clear that this is a dead body. And yes, this is Daniel Radcliffe, but I’ll introduce him formerly when the time comes.

Hank’s sad that the guy isn’t alive, but still speaks to him about his hopes and dreams in the past. He’d always wanted a life of parties and friends and love, and imagined that he’d see that kind of life in a flash before he died. Instead, he only saw the body, who responds with yet another fart. But with that, Hank goes back to trying to hang himself.

And as he does...the body keeps interrupting with its INSANE gas. Like, it’s so bad that the body keeps shaking as if it were alive. The body washes into the sea, and its flatulence begins to propel it away from the shore. Hank sees this, and he uses the humming he was doing to make the Intro Song, which is strangely mesmerizing? Like, literally soundtrack-worthy, I’m not kidding. He also grabs a piece of his noose, uses it to grab onto the body, and rides it as the farts propel them both far away from the beach. It’s absolutely absurd...and kind of great. And then the titles play.

Hank wakes up on the short of a different island, or possible a larger land mass, and is overjoyed by the change in scenery. He shouts his name to the world, and credits the body with his rescue. No longer stranded in the Pacific, as far as we know, he tries to use his phone, to no avail. He decides to head out and look for help, grabbing a bag of Cheetos that washed up alongside them, bids the body farewell...and then comes back for it.

Carrying the farting body on his back (and kind of treating him as if he’s alive), he wanders through the forest to find help. He wonders if the gas is the result of decomposition (likely, if excessive), or if its the body’s soul leaving it. Either way, the trudge forward. They settle in a cave for the night, as it rains heavily outside. As Hank is want to do, he hums to himself, and shares more of his personal life with the body, as he sings to it. And yeah, I’ve been linking to these songs, because the soundtrack is genuinely fascinating to me.

Morning comes, and Hank awakes to a raccoon prying at the body, which he subsequently chases for food. In his desperation for food and water, he’s once again about to leave the body in the cave, but notices it leaking copious amounts of water from its mouth, which it had collected from the cave walls overnight. And yes...he drinks it. Which is absolutely disgusting when you think about it, which I now choose NOT to.

In the process, Hank squeezes the body for more water, and air escapes his mouth in such a way that it sounds like it’s speaking a name: Manny (Daniel Radcliffe). From that, Hank gets the body to speak his name and a simple greeting, but grows frustrated from the inability of the body to speak properly. This leads to him being a bit abusive towards him, reminding him unfavorably of his own father. Ooh, character revelations, me like.

Anyway, he apologizes to Manny for treating him that way...and Manny responds. Which FREAKS HANK THE FUCK OUT, understandably, and he punches Manny and flees the cave. As he comes back, Manny is indeed speaking outright, which is either a miracle or Hank just straight-up hallucinating. Either way, Hank asks Manny to try and remember his past life, but all he can get is the vague recollection of the Jurassic Park theme song. But Manny can’t remember the movie itself, which is when Hank says the most correct line ever said in all of film.

You’re goddamn right. Anyway, from, there, Hank tries to teach Manny about the ways of the world, and the nature of life and death. And the resulting conversation is absolutely fuckin’ ridiculous, and I love it all. Through the process, Manny learns about the world, and Hank asks him to help get home.

In the process, Manny inadvertently insults Hank, causing to walk off and once again look for help, only to eat poison berries and throw up for a sec. The two reunite, and their conversation turns to the topic of sex. See, there are some magazines in the cave that they’re in, which prompts some questions about women, sex, and love. To both of their surprise, this conversation causes Manny’s heart to beat! Spurred on, Hank continues, and Manny’s heart appears to reawaken...as does his penis. That’s a link to the soundtrack, I promise.

Hank and Manny both freak out, as his little Manny seems to have a mind (and motility) of its own. But in the ever absurd nature of this movie’s premise, this too has a secondary function: it’s a compass. Yup. And that prompts the next step of their journey, which is full of a conversation about fetishes and masturbation. Yeah, Hank’s surprised about that, too.

This leads to a conversation about his parents, as well as somewhat traumatic parts of his childhood, including his mother’s premature death. This makes Hank upset, and he lashes out at Manny, who briefly returns to being dead until Hank apologizes. As they go on, however, they encounter another denizen of the forest: a bear. This causes the two to fall off a cliff, and causes Hank’s phone to fall out of his pocket and turn on, allowing Manny to see the picture of a girl on his background.

Manny’s enraptured by the picture, and constantly asks to see her again, as Hank continues to struggle for food. The problem is that Hank needs to conserve the power on the phone, but Manny asks if Hank can dress up as the girl in order to help him remember, and bring him back to life to help save them both. He does so reluctantly, but Manny calls him beautiful, to which Hank reacts positively. This not only helps Manny come to life a little more, but also leads Hank to shave to look more convincing for Manny...and possibly for Hank, too.

As these two engage on a fake date and create a fake bus (while Manny listens to a fake self-sung cover of Cotton Eye Joe that I’m putting on my playlist), this is a good time to mention the one thing I know about this movie...maybe. I don’t quite remember where I heard this, but I have heard that this film is possibly a commentary on the transgender experience, or at the very least that Hank is transgender, but hasn’t come to terms with that as of yet. Now, I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I have heard that, and I’m definitely interested to see if that’s the direction this goes. This scene definitely seems to somewhat confirm this theory. Also, I will say (as I have said before when watching The Danish Girl), I’m a straight dude of the cissexual sort, so this is in NO WAY in my wheelhouse, but I still figured I’d mention it.

We’re also at the halfway point now, so this would seem like a good time to pause for Part 2! See you there!

#swiss army man #daniel scheinert #daniel kwan #daniel scheinert and daniel kwan #the daniels #daniel radcliffe #paul dano #mary elizabeth winstead #comedy april #user365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365days365movies #365 movies a year #moviegifs #tusernyx #userpayel #usermike

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fangirlovestuff · 4 years

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Cycle - Steve Rogers x reader ch.5

Previously: ch.1 ch.2 ch.3 ch.4

Summary: The morning after, you quietly left. The days after, you were constantly screwing up. Will you stop thinking about Steve, or maybe you won’t need to?

Word Count: ~2,300

Warnings: explicit language, brief mentions of smut

a/n- hey lovely people! and just like that, another Steve series had come to an end. I had a lot of fun writing this series, and thank you so much to everyone who gave me feedback on it, it’s super appreciated! italics are for thoughts and divider is by @whimsicalrogers. Enjoy!<3

The next morning you surprisingly woke up before Steve did, and used this opportunity to sneak out of his apartment, going back to your place to change before you had to be at work again.

On the way home, all kinds of thoughts flooded your mind, starting with should I have left a note? And all the way to this was the biggest fucking mistake ever, why didn't I try to resist it more, now everyone's gonna say I'm a slut, and they'll be right.

But amidst that rose the memories of last night, of the feeling of Steve surrounding you, his hot breath against your skin, falling asleep in his arms. And you knew, if you had a time machine, no matter how much you're overthinking this now – you'd do it again.

The realization caused you to shake out of your reverie, breathing out a shaky breath and looking around the street to ground yourself a little.

Nothing was gonna happen, it's all gonna be okay, and even if Steve will never talk to me again, he'll still respect what we agreed on, you calmed yourself down as you entered your apartment, getting ready for another day.

Steve entered the training room, his thoughts still wandering to the events of last night. When he woke up this morning, you were already gone, but his amplified senses could still pick up on the scent of your perfume on the sheets next to him. He understood why you did it. He was old, but he still understood the social conventions of hooking up, and he knew what it meant when he agreed. But there was still a part of him that hoped to wake up and see your face. Maybe even get a chance to see you fall apart under him once more.

He shook those thoughts away. This is what you wanted, and he should respect it. this is when your paths part. For some reason, he felt sadder than he probably should've been. And yet, he couldn't help but feel a sense of smugness at the events of last night.

When he put his bag down he was greeted by a friendly slap on his shoulder. Smirking, he immediately turned around, catching onto the arm and tossing the "attacker" onto the floor. Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. "You knew it was me, man," he complained as Steve extended his hand to him and he got up.

"Always be ready," Steve shrugged and moved towards the middle of the mattress-covered floor. Sam narrowed his eyes towards Steve and followed him, standing in front of him and getting into position.

"You seem to be in an awfully good mood," Sam remarked. "Any reason why?"

"You, Sam," Steve said in mock emotion, "You are my sun and stars, and getting to see you this morning is the abso—"

Sam charged at Steve, but the latter quickly dodged his punch and kicked his leg, making Sam lose his balance and fall down for the second time that morning.

Steve chuckled. "Relax, Wilson," he said, "a little sarcasm hasn't killed anyone yet, and I for one don't want that to change."

Sam's face lit up with understanding. "You finally did it you bastard! You got laid! Who was it?"

Steve couldn't keep his face from blushing. Was he really being that obvious? "None of your business. Besides, it was a one-night thing anyway," he shrugged, trying to regain his composure.

"Hey, if you don't wanna tell me, I'm fine with that. But when Barnes gets his hands on you…" Sam grinned.

Steve groaned. "Fuck," he whispered under his breath, fully knowing if Sam managed to figure it out, Bucky would too. "That's a problem for later," he shook his head. "For now, I think you need a refresher on balance," he raised his brow at Sam.

"Whatever," Sam scoffed, "fucking super soldiers," he grumbled while he got into position once more.

It's been five days since you last talked to Steve. Not that you were counting or anything. Five days of making a complete fool out of yourself were just kind of a lot.

The first day you thought you had it under control. Even though last night didn't involve as much sleep, you drank some coffee and figured it would be okay. You started daydreaming and nearly fell asleep, leaving your mixture to cool for too long, noticing it only when Kate tapped your shoulder to get your attention and having to start it all over again.

Well, the first day should be the worst and then it'll be fine right?

The second day you were thinking about whether you should text Steve or not while you were diluting a solution you were working on, but got the different concentrations confused and needed to start again, costing you more time and materials.

The third day you thought it would surely stop. After that day you needed to get a new fire extinguisher for the lab.

The fourth was Saturday, so thankfully you didn't have opportunities to embarrass yourself anymore, right?

Except you went out with your friends, got drunk and told them that you slept with this "super" cute guy and how everyone hates you now because you mess everything up. They calmed you down and comforted you at the moment, but they also got that on video and god knows you're never living that one down.

Thankfully, drunk me was still smart enough not to tell them who it was, you mused as you watched the video, your head pounding on Sunday, the fifth day since you had last spoken to Steve Rogers.

Which brings us here, Monday morning, five days after That Night.

You entered the office, setting down your bag and going over some paperwork when Kate knocked on your door.

"Hi! Come in," you greeted her with a smile.

"Good morning," she smiled back. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you. I don't want to overstep, but you've seemed a little… distracted, these last few days, and I was wondering why? I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, obviously, but if it could help you…" she trailed off, a little awkwardly.

You sighed. "No, it's okay, I should probably give at least a little explanation for my actions. But you're gonna think it's stupid," you warned with a smile. She nodded at you to go on anyway.

You wondered how you should phrase it. "Well, I guess I've been trying not to date for a while, to focus on my career here, you know. But a few days ago I went on a date with this guy and it was wonderful, but I haven't talked to him and he didn't talk to me and I'm just… wondering if I should try to change that," you said. That was close enough to the truth.

Kate pondered what you said for a moment and then spoke. "The way I see it," she said, "you need closure. Just try to talk to him. If something comes out of it, great, if he doesn't answer, that's still fine. Either way you're better off knowing, because if the last few days are any indication, I'd say you feel very bad not knowing," she said with a teasing smile.

"Maybe you're right," you smiled. "Anyways, I'm really sorry for the last few days. But it won't happen today. At least I'm pretty sure it won't happen today," you added with a chuckle. "I'll join you in the lab in a few minutes," you smiled at her and she nodded and left.

Much like you, Steve also wasn't having a great time.

That first day he ended up seeing Bucky, which earned him pestering for the rest of the day, but he adamantly refused to reveal your identity even to Bucky.

"C'mon Buck," Steve rolled his eyes. "I'm not telling you. That's it."

"That means it's someone I know! Oh, is it – "

"Lalalala, I can't hear anything you're saying," Steve reverted to the childish method and put his hands over his ears.

"Fine, sheesh. You gonna see her again at least?" Bucky asked.

"I don't know," Steve said with a sigh.

Steve's smugness only lasted the first day, and the rest of them were filled with increasing disappointment.

The second day Bucky managed to hit him in the face with his metal arm because he wasn't paying enough attention.

The third they had a briefing for a coming up mission, and Steve nearly fell from his chair at the sound of his phone beeping, thinking it could be you.

Saturday and Sunday were spent alone in his apartment, finishing the painting of the skyline and ignoring Sam's and Bucky's texts. When he finished the painting he was so tempted to ask Bucky for your phone number and send you a picture of it, but he figured that would be weird. Instead, he started another painting, and without even noticing he started sketching your face. Way to go Rogers, you managed to be weird anyway, he thought and threw away the sketch.

When he came to work Monday, he thought he got over the whole deal.

Sam greeted him at the training room, ready for another mission. "You alright Rogers?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, my phone was just turned off," Steve shrugged, thinking Sam was wondering why he was… how do they say it? ghosting him?

"I didn't mean this weekend," Sam said, "how did you let Barns get you that good last week?"

"I guess I was just distracted," Steve shrugged, getting in position.

"You never get distracted," Sam stated, "you are literally the most prim and proper person I know. That one time Bucky and I argued for an hour next to you, and you didn't even notice, what's up?"

"That's not true, I did notice, I just ign-"

"See, that's a lie, because if you actually got distracted by what we were doing while you worked you would've asked which time I was talking about," Sam smirked.

"Whatever," Steve rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face.

"So, who's getting you so distracted? Was it mystery girl?"

"Um, yeah," Steve chuckled. "Look, it doesn't really matter right now, we should –"

"I knew it!" Sam laughed, "you just can't do one-night-stands, can you?"

"I-" Steve trailed off.

"Look man, it's just who you are. Go talk to her," Sam said.

"Maybe," Steve said, and then, without warning, made a blow at Sam that he managed to avoid.

"Always be prepared, right?" Sam said, a smug smile on his face.

"Right," Steve answered, smiling.

You were just packing up in your office, ready to go home. Thankfully, today had been free of awkward mistakes.

There was a knock at your door and you called them to come in, thinking it could be Kate, but in front of you was standing, causing you a serious Deja-vu, Steve. I spoke too soon didn't I?

"Hey," he said, scratching his neck.

"Hi," you whispered unintentionally. You cleared your throat and asked in a stronger voice, "Uh, can I help you?"

"Well, yeah," Steve said. "I wanted to ask… will you listen until the end of what I'm about to say?" he smiled and chuckled awkwardly.

"Sure," you frowned a little and came to stand in front of him.

"I was kind of… making a fool of myself the last few days. Not calling you was the main foolish thing but also, Bucky hit me in the face because I was thinking about calling you," he grimaced. "And… I know we agreed about no strings attached, but I can't stop thinking about you. In a non-creepy way," he quickly added with another awkward chuckle. "So, I wanted to ask if maybe you'd like to attach the strings?" he smiled. "Go on a date sometime? Obviously, I get it if you say no, but I just really wanted to ask. So, yeah," he looked away at the bookshelves surrounding you.

You gladly refrained from telling him about the times you’ve made a fool of yourself those days. "Yes, I'd love to go on a date sometime," you smiled and put your hand on his cheek, drawing his gaze towards yours. His face lit up with a smile, and then he was kissing you. It was the kind of kisses that left you breathless, the kind of kisses you felt like you could live on. Maybe even a true love's kiss.

"It's probably because you had a really good teacher. I mean, with that level of game, how could I say no?" you smiled.

"Probably," Steve agreed with a soft smile.

You couldn't contain yourself and kissed him again, cupping his face in your hands while his large hands were placed on your waist, drawing you close.

"Pay up, Barnes," Sam said smugly.

"No way! Look, what if the mystery girl is-"

Bucky trails off and smirks once he sees the two people who are walking through the lobby, where he and Sam were standing. Sam turns around and sees what he sees – You and Steve, walking hand in hand, giving each other total heart eyes. Steve raises your connected palms and kisses the back of your hand.

"Shit," Sam said under his breath.

"Pay up, birdman!" Bucky said with a shit-eating grin.

It's funny how life works. Right when you decide to stray clear of men, it brings you the sweetest one you've ever met, and you can't resist his baby blue eyes, looking at you so adoringly. Once you decide to be a little more of a player, change to get what you want, it brings you the most beautiful woman who doesn't need you to change at all.

In this case, opposites definitely attract. Together, they can achieve the most beautiful thing in the world – love.

and the curtain goes down on another Steve series. Thank you so much for reading, ily<3

Taglist: @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000

Cycle Taglist: @dee-vn @alex747 @itsangelpie-supports

if you wanna join / be removed from these taglists, comment/message me! much love <3

#chris evans x reader #chris evans #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x y/n #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fluff

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floral-and-fine · 4 years

Text

La Doular Exquise part 2

Mycroft Holmes x female reader

Greg Lestrade x female reader

Part 1

Summary: Greg Lestrade is in a new relationship with y/n, and to everyone, they appear very happy together and very much in love. Surprisingly, Mycroft finds himself longing for something similar.

A/n: I on a roll with this fic! It’s been so long since I’ve been able to write like this, I hope it continues! Thank you @luna-xial for the help!

“Everything alright?” John asked Sherlock, as he came in after a quick shopping trip. Sherlock was still standing by the window staring down at the street, exactly where John had left him.

Sherlock was oddly focused, considering they had no cases at the moment to work on. By now he’d usually be tearing the flat apart or putting more bullet holes in the walls out of boredom.

“Saw Mycroft this morning,” he muttered, “something was off about him.”

“How could you tell?” John chuckled, setting the groceries down on the kitchen table.

“He was nicer than usual, quieter too.”

John furrowed his brow, “what do you think it could be?”

“Not sure yet,” Sherlock answered, finally turning around, and taking a seat in his chair. “Never seen him like this.”

“You seem concerned,” John pointed out, putting away a few things in the fridge. “Are you worried about him?”

Sherlock scoffed, “Please, it’s Mycroft, I’m just surprised that he’s capable of feeling things…” He went quiet for a moment, “You don’t suppose he has feelings for someone do you?”

John shrugged, “I don’t know, I don’t really picture him as the type.”

“Right,” Sherlock agreed. “It’s an absolutely ludicrous idea.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” John contended, sitting in his seat across from Sherlock.

Unexpectedly, Sherlock broke out into a fit of giggles. “Could you just imagine?” He gasped, practically falling out of his chair. “My brother, Mycroft, with a wife? Or children?”

John tried to hold back his laughter as he pictured Mycroft married, little kids running around causing a ruckus. From what he knew about Mycroft, he really didn’t seem like the family man type. He barely seemed to tolerate his own parents.

“What’s got you two in such a good mood?” Mrs. Hudson asked, carrying in a tray of tea over to the coffee table.

Sherlock sighed, catching his breath, “just imagining Mycroft in love, completely ridiculous idea isn’t it?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” Mrs. Hudson explained knowingly. “He seemed rather smitten by that girl.”

“What girl?” Sherlock questioned sitting up, completely surprised.

“That one that came with Lestrade on Christmas. Such a sweet girl... Could do Mycroft a lot of good having someone like her around.”

Sherlock's face fell as he tried to recall Christmas Day, Mycroft did seem more at ease than usual, smiled more often. Sherlock crossed his legs, and put his hands together in front of him as he contemplated over what a peculiar situation his brother was in.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, little brother?” Mycroft questioned, looking up from his computer with a quirk of his brow. It was a rare occasion for his brother to show up at his home unannounced or uninvited. “It’s not like you to drop by just for a visit.”

“It’s come to my attention that you’re interested in y/n l/n,” Sherlock stated getting right to the point.

Mycroft paused for a brief moment before answering, but it was just long enough for Sherlock to suspect that he was right.

“And what gave you that idea?”

“The fact that you hesitated before answering,” Sherlock smirked. “I’m right then, aren’t I? You like her.”

Mycroft rolled his eyes, “Don’t say such ridiculous things, Sherlock. Makes you sound ignorant.”

Sherlock frowned but continued to press on, “you’re right Mycroft, it is a rather ridiculous notion, but that doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Sherlock,” Mycroft warned, hoping he’d drop the subject.

“Who would’ve thought you, of all people, would be susceptible to the charms of a goldfish,” Sherlock said, twisting Mycroft’s words against. “I thought caring wasn’t an advantage, Mycroft.”

“And what do you suggest I do about it?” Mycroft snapped, losing his patience. “Let’s say I do like her, what can I possibly do about it?”

Sherlock stood there speechless, truth is he had no clue what Mycroft could do about it. In fact, he himself had never been in this type of situation.

“She’s already with someone,” Mycroft said exasperatedly, staring at his little brother. He turned his attention to his desk with a solemn expression. “Even if she wasn’t, I know I’m not the kind of person she’s looking for. I’m not the relationship type.”

“That’s quite the predicament you have,” Sherlock said quietly, then a small smile formed on his lips. “Practically makes running a country look easy.”

Mycroft stifled a laugh and Sherlock chuckled, managing to ease the tension.

With a drawn out sigh, Mycroft leaned back in his seat, “whatever this is, it’ll pass. Just a one time fluke, that’s all it is.”

Sherlock gave his brother a skeptical look, before seeing himself out.

Days went by, then weeks, but Mycroft still couldn’t get y/n out of his head. He kept tabs on her, often checking her status on social media and such.

The things he learned about her from different sources, only made him like her more. She spent most of her time outside of work at home, was an avid reader, and was quite clever and witty.

He knew this wasn’t making things any better, but when he fought the urge to, all he ended up doing was thinking about her even more.

On the rare occasion that Mycroft was home and not working, his mind would wander back to all those what-ifs. As much as he hated to admit, even if just to himself, Mycroft was well aware that he was lonely.

After Mycroft had finished reading the paper at the Diogenes Club, he decided to go for a little stroll.

The sky was partially cloudy, and the streets and sidewalks were crowded as usual. Suddenly, Mycroft spotted a familiar face walking towards him. He stopped in his tracks on the sidewalk, waiting for y/n to get closer.

Somehow she was prettier than he remembered, but she also seemed troubled.

He could tell just by the way she carried herself, on Christmas she floated and flitted about like a butterfly, but today she trudged down the street like she was weighed down by some unseen burden.

“Y/n?” Mycroft called out somewhat softly at first, but she didn’t seem to hear him, worried she’d walk right past him, Mycroft tried again a little louder.

Her head snapped up at the sound of her name. “Mycroft! Sorry, I didn’t see you,” she explained, approaching him. “My mind was elsewhere.”

Immediately, Mycroft could tell she had been crying. But unlike Sherlock, he wasn’t going to immediately pry into her business and deduce why she was upset out loud. Instead, like a proper gentleman, he’d keep all his deductions to himself.

Now, what could have her so upset? Work? No, it’s Saturday. A deceased family member? No, she’d be in even more distress if that were the case.

Mycroft swallowed thickly when he realized it most likely had to do with her relationship with Lestrade.

“Would you like to join me for tea?” Y/n offered, with a small smile, tearing Mycroft away from his thoughts.

“I-“ Mycroft quickly mulled over his options, considering all the repercussions, there were many reasons why spending time with her was a bad idea, however, none of those reasons were enough to persuade him.

Mycroft nodded, “I’d like that.”

They started walking side by side towards the nearest tea shop.

“It’s been some time since I last saw you, Mycroft,” y/n said. “How have you been?”

“Fine,” he answered, not really divulging any additional information.

Y/n giggled to herself, she had already learned from the Christmas party that Mycroft wasn’t one for small talk so she wasn’t too surprised with his short answer.

For the rest of the walk, a comfortable silence fell between them. Mycroft appreciated that y/n wasn’t the type to chit chat just for the sake of noise, that she didn’t mind the quiet.

An image formed in his mind of them sitting together on the couch, y/n leaning against him, as they both enjoy a quiet evening in. Both of them would be too engrossed in their books to bother with any talking, but still could appreciate being close to one another.

Finally, they reached the tea shop and found a nice secluded table towards the back.

“So how have you been?” Mycroft asked, trying to strike up a conversation now that they were somewhere quiet.

“I’m- I’m good,” y/n started but then frowned, her shoulders slumping as she looked up at Mycroft. “There’s no point in lying to you is there? You already know I’m not fine, huh?”

Mycroft nodded, “I could tell immediately when I saw your face.”

She groaned, “Do I really look that bad?”

Mycroft chuckled, “not many people are as observant as I am, I doubt anyone else has noticed.”

A comfortable silence fell between them again. Mycroft watched carefully as y/n prepared her cup of tea to her liking. While he wouldn’t bother learning this about most people, he figured knowing this could work to his benefit in the future.

She carefully took a sip, her eyes filled with worry.

“Would you like to share what’s troubling?” Mycroft offered.

She bit her lip, trying to decide where to start. "Last night, I mentioned to Greg how I'd like to get married one day. Not that I was hinting at it or anything, it's still far too soon to even think about that. But he freaked out over it."

Y/n sighed rubbing her forehead, "He went on a rant about how he'd never make that mistake again. That getting married was the worst decision he ever made. I know that his marriage ended badly, but I didn't think it ruined the whole idea of it… he even said that he doesn't want any children either."

Mycroft could tell it was hurting her to even just talk about it.

"I've always wanted to be a bride, to make that kind of promise with someone I love. I know it seems silly, that couples can stay together and be happy without having to be married, but I can’t seem to let it go…” y/n sniffed, fighting back tears.

Mycroft was surprised that the issue wasn’t related to Lestrade’s job. He was sure that the inspector’s erratic schedule was what was causing problems between them.

“I’m sorry Mycroft, I'm just rambling now," she shook her head. “I just don’t know what to do.”

Mycroft glanced at her face, her eyes slightly bloodshot from crying so much, the last thing he wanted was to upset her more. “Not sure if I’m the best person to ask.”

“I’d still like to hear your opinion on it,” she insisted, looking at him wide-eyed.

Mycroft nodded, setting his cup of tea back on the saucer, trying to choose his words wisely. “I’m afraid my point of view is rather limited on the subject, but inevitably I think the relationship is bound to come to an end no matter what you decide to do now.”

He paused, fiddling with his napkin for a moment before continuing. “I believe that even when two people truly care about one another, if they don’t want the same things from life, and their desires for whatever those goals are, is so strong that neither person bends, then it becomes rather painful for both parties involved,” he explained. “Eventually, somewhere along the line, they’ll be led down separate paths.”

“So what you’re pretty much saying is that Greg and I will most likely break up eventually, even if it's not now,” y/n reiterated as she processed what Mycroft was telling her.

“What I’m saying is, are you willing to give up what you want out of life for him? Give up on the idea of marriage and children?” Mycroft elaborated, adding more sugar to his tea. “Likewise, is Lestrade willing to change his mind for you? For the two of you to be happy someone has to give up.”

Y/n nodded, her eyes downcast, quickly she wiped away a few stray tears. “What would you do?”

“Depends,” Mycroft started, “Despite what people think of me or how I may appear, I usually find myself to be the compromising type, at least for those precious few who I care about."

“I think I understand,” y/n murmured.

Mycroft felt a pang of guilt in his chest, he was being completely honest with his answers, but he still felt like the guilty party, as though he was intentionally sabotaging her and Lestrade.

Y/n gently laid her hand on Mycroft’s, “Thank you, Mycroft for sharing your insight. It was very helpful.”

“Glad to be of assistance,” he half smiled, hoping he didn’t make things worse.

As they were about to part ways, Mycroft pulled out a business card from his jacket pocket, and quickly jotted a phone number on the back. “If you ever need anything,” he explained, handing her the card. “That’s my number.”

Mycroft’s brow furrowed, as he felt his stomach flutter. He was excited, confused, uncertain, but most of all hopeful. Perhaps, he could attain that life he pictured with her, in time.

For the rest of the day, Mycroft kept a close eye on his phone. Part of him felt ridiculous, constantly checking every few minutes.

But as he was getting ready to turn in for the night, he noticed his phone light upon the nightstand. Checking the message, a smile formed on his lips.

‘Hi, It’s y/n. I just thought you should have my number as well. Good night, Mycroft!’

Quickly, he replied wishing her good night as well. Mycroft chuckled, this was a start at least.

#bbc sherlock #sherlock fanfic #bbc sherlock fanfic #mycroft holmes #mycroft x reader #mycroft fanfic #mycroft holmes x reader #greg lestrade #greg lestrade x reader #reader insert #Female reader #My writing

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