#also I'm throwing in the towel with the background!

[v-iv-rusty]

as much as I never post about it I kind of genuinely am fascinated by the evil cheese grater man

[yelenasdiary]

Bed for Three

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Wanda comes home to find you and the twins cuddled in bed, sick. 

Fluff | Comfort | No Warnings | 1.4K

AC: Another late-night idea that I had! Also, sending get well wishes @mywitchy-assassin ! I hope you feel better soon, my love x

"Honey, I'm off to work" Wanda whispered softly as she placed a kiss on your forehead. Wanda hated waking you up, but she also didn't want you to wake up in a worry. "Have a good day, baby" you mumbled as you snuggled into the covers, you'd have at least another hour of sleep before you'd have to get up and start getting the twins ready for school. 

Wanda smiled softly at you, soaking up the last image she'd see of you until she came home. Mission reports and plenty of Avengers meetings were booked today and Wanda wanted to be at the compound early to get the reports out of the way. 

Your alarm was always the worst sound in the world to you, shut it off you sat up and stretched your tired body out before stepping into the bathroom to prepare yourself for a tough morning. The twins loved school, they got to see their friends of course, but getting them up at 7am was always a struggle. You'd take a quick shower before making sure their breakfast was on the table ready. 

"Boys, it's 7" you spoke softly as you opened their door, straight away you could hear in their voices there was no way they would be going to school. "Ma, I don't feel so well" Billy pulled the covers over his head while Tommy agreed, "my head really hurts" He spoke softly as if even the sound of his voice was making his headache worse. "Oh no" you said to yourself as you walked over to Tommy and gently placed a hand on his forehead, "you're a bit warm honey" you added. 

"I think I'm going to be sick!" Billy jumped out of bed in a rush to the bathroom. Your mother instincts kicked in as you quickly followed him. Luckily for you he made it to the toilet before throwing up last night's dinner and ice cream, you grabbed a clean hand towel and soaked it with warm water before handing it to Billy to wipe his mouth. "I think you boys are staying home today" you pressed your lips together before helping Billy back to bed. 

"Can we sleep in your bed please Mama?" Billy asked, his tired and weak tone made your heart break. You hated seeing your boys unwell. "Of course, my loves, come on. I'll make some tea and get you a bucket" you replied, both boys slowly got out of bed and made their way to your shared room with Wanda and made themselves comfortable as you placed a bucky and towel on Billy's side of the bed then made your way downstairs to make some tea. 

Water and light food for Billy, pain killers, fruit and honey lemon tea for Tommy should do the fix you thought, well, you hoped. Wanda was always better at this stuff than you were, she knew exactly which foods to cook to make sure you and the boys got all the goodness you needed to keep your body from feeling any worse. As much as you wanted to call her, you knew she was in for a busy day and that meant this mission was all yours to handle. 

The day was spent in bed with your boys as they both rested their heads on your shoulders while the three of you watched movies on Disney +. The boys fought over which movie to put on only to be reminded that if they could fight over movies, maybe they weren't too sick after all. For lunch it was light foods for Billy to nibble at, Tommy had some fruit and a sandwich before taking a cold and flu tablet when he started to complain about having a sore throat and his headache not getting any better. 

By the time Wanda got home you and the boys were fast asleep with the last movie the boys picked playing in the background as the end credits rolled. Wanda noticed the house was rather too quiet for a family of three to be home. The boy's backpacks weren't thrown on the sofa like normal, their shoes weren't in random places on the floor in the living room and their home wasn't sat on the dining table waiting for you and Wanda to help them. 

She wandered upstairs and followed the sound of low music coming from the bedroom, the soft smile on her face when she saw her wife and two children snuggled up in bed, tissues littered the bedside table next to Tommy while the bucket next to Billy sat clean. "My loves" Wanda shook her head softly as she turned the TV off and closed the door quietly behind her. 

The smell of food cooking downstairs woke you with hunger, your head now pounding with a headache and the boys still asleep beside you. One look at Tommy's red nose and cheeks and you knew that you'd caught whatever bug he had, you only hoped that you wouldn't also catch Billy's stomach bug. Carefully, you managed to slide out of bed without waking your boys and made your way downstairs where Wanda was in an element of cooking and singing softly to herself. 

"You're home" you spoked softly, now realizing your throat was itchy and dry. "Hi honey, you don't sound so good, go lay down on the sofa. Dinner is almost ready, pumpkin soup for the three of you" she smiled as she looked over at you. "The boys, they're not well. I don't know what Billy has but I think Tommy is coming down with a cold or flu" you explained with a pout, "I gave Tommy a cold and flu tablet and made sure Billy had light food, toast and water but I think I'm catching Tommy's bug" you added as you reached for the painkillers for your headache. 

"You should've called me darling, I would've come home" 

"I know but you said you had a lot to do today, and I didn't want to bother you" you grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and downed the two tablets. 

"Next time, bother me, okay? Now go back to bed or lay down on the sofa. I'm home now, I'll take care of yous" Wanda replied as she stirred the pot of soup. 

----

After dinner, Wanda put the boys to bed and made sure they were warm and had plenty of water to drink throughout the night, the twins completely worn out only confirmed with Wanda how sick they felt. "My poor loves, get some rest if you both still feel like this by morning, we'll make an appointment with the doctor" she kissed Billy on the forehead as she tucked him in. "I think we made Ma sick too" Tommy commented as Wanda made her way over to him, "I think you did" she chuckled, "we'll book an appointment for Ma too" she added with a kiss on Tommy's head. "Goodnight mom" the twins said in sync as Wanda made her way to the door, "goodnight boys" she smiled before flicking off their lights and closing the door over. 

"I just told the boys that we'll see the doctor tomorrow if they don't feel any better but morning, that includes you" Wanda smiled softly as she entered the bedroom where you were already snuggled and waiting for her, "I'm totally fine" you joked but your voice breaking wasn't convincing Wanda as she shook her head playfully at you. 

"I might take the guest room tonight; I don't think I want whatever you and boys have" 

"What? No" you pouted, "please stay, please give me cuddles, I promise I won't get you sick" you added with your best impression of puppy eyes. They always won Wanda over, she caved in and slid right in beside you. "If I get sick, don't cook for me" she chuckled as she wrapped her arms around you, "why's that?" you asked. 

"Honey, I love you so much but your cooking isn't that good and I feel it would only make me feel worse" Wanda replied with another chuckle before placing a kiss on your cheek, "fine then" you huffed playfully, "the boys and I will just order pizza" you added. 

"Goodnight honey" Wanda playfully rolled her eyes, "goodnight baby". 

A week later Wanda woke up with a pounding headache and a quick dash to the bathroom before making her way downstairs, looking between you and the twins with her arms crossed. "Oh no, you're not!" you said as you looked over at her while she nodded, "I'll call the doctor" You tried not to chuckle at your wife's unimpressed look.

Taglist: @red1culous | @sayah13 | @charl-lally | @when-wolves-howl | @bentleywolf29 | @fxckmiup | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz  | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @wandsmxmff | @apollo2907 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @fluffyblanketgecko | @puta1 | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @tintedrose12 | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @lizzieslcver | @youralphawolf72 | @donnietarantino | @natashamaximoff69 | @hehehehannahthings | @pandaemonium111 | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @marvel-madnessx | @scarsw1fe | @toldthatdevil | 

[thatoneguydownthestreet]

I have no clue if your taking requests so ignore this if you not

But if you are... hear me out housewardens (manly leona) try and get apocalypse y/n into a bath

I say this because in your hc ut says leona throws up when they first met. So yeah

Ao3 is down and i’m pissed. also here's some music

FEM ALIGNED PLEASE DNI

Dorms make you take a damn bath.

Riddle Rosehearts: 

you were, for some ungodly reason, confused on why his face looks like someone force fed him sixteen lemons in a row whenever your around

well, my stupid student, that’s because you, yes you, smell like dog shit

old, cold, fermented dog shit that was left out in the rain

in other words: you stink

and riddle is loosing his damn mind over it

how does one go about telling this to their friend?

in a polite manner?

because he caN’t jUsT teLl yoU

so he tries to drop little hints

Tries

just small things at first

Just a little air freshener tree that you get at the carwash here and there

you find a mysterious perfume bottle on your night stand after Duece spent the night at Ramshackle

look! it smells like cherries!

too bad you didn’t trust it at all!

oh and look at this, an expensive cologne bottle that smells like sandelwood? isn’t that just plesent? Isn't it nice?

welp, it’s not yours! better put it back where you found it, someone's probably losing their shit looking for it

Riddle is now getting a bit desperate here

just a tad

Just a tad bit desperate

...anything can help right?

he makes Cater drop off a change of clothes for you. just some of the spare clothes that weren’t exactly his dorm uniform, that for some reason, he found laying around. 

he’d have to have a little “chat” about that later with his dorm

He also kindly requested that Cater steal some of your clothes so he could wash them for once

(he was being quite literal on the “for once” part. those things smelled like they’ve never touched an ounce of detergent since you got them from crowly) 

unfortuanatly, you are way too observant for your own good, and catch onto shit way too fast for his liking (or anyones liking) and quickly became suspicious about your missing clothes that miraculous reappeared in your drawers smelling...different

Riddle started feeling a little guilty for this after you locked yourself in your room for three days, and then came back out looking absolutely exhausted, checking over your shoulder like you had when you first got here

(Cater could have sworn he saw lilia looking at him with a dead stare out of the corner of his eye every time he went to club. Kalim said he was probably imagining it.)

Soon enough, operation mystery laundry was void

Meaning, your clothes returned to smelling like shit

And you...well, you never really stopped

.....ok.

Ok. He can work around this.

Hahahaha....Hahaha...ha....fuck

If ace trappola looks at you one day, says he's sorry, and then takes out a can of frebreez air freshener and sprays away, don't question shit, perfect

You brought this on yourself

But you of course, act like a cat being chased with a spray bottle, and run away

It for real takes trey to be the only responsible adult (NRC is an actual college and they're all adults fight me) in the entire goddamn campus to actually walk up to you and tell you you smell like ass

You then have a conversation about the rarity of clean water in you world

That conversation causes trey to come back to heartslabyul, take a metal bucket, fill it with clean, clear water, and then promptly dump it on you

And then he refills it with soapy water

That's right folks!

He's washing you, and your clothes!

Somewhere in the background, an NPC sees this and goes to notify riddle of the weird shit happening in the kitchens

Riddle doesn't know how to feel about this

He's definitely not happy but...he ain't mad about it either

He just makes an unfortunate NPC grab some towels for you

You didn't really know how to use the towels

Is it a blanket? No?

Your supposed to get it wet....

??huh?

Later that night, one Cater Diamond will whip out a PowerPoint presentation has been sitting in his computer for an undisclosed amout if time, explaining what a bath is

Everyone will thank him the next day for it

Ace still has the frebreez bottle btw, it's now used discreetly in alchemy class for whenever he and duece fuck up a potion

Leona Kingscholar:

Oh boy here we go

The cat man has gone from simply laying around in the [thingy] gardens to straight up rolling around in the plants to mask your smell just enough to not hurl on ground the second he sees you

this works 70% of the time

The other 30% is between him, ruggie, and the bathrooms

And once he realizes Jack howl hangs our with you on a regular basis?

Well, let's just say said dog boy is a little confused on why he's suddenly getting so much respect from his dorm members

Anyways, you leona doesn't really do anything about it at first.

You don't come by savanaclaw that much and your paths don't naturally cross too often, so doing something about the absolute toxic waste smell mixed with a half rotting animal carcass doesn't really have much...appeal to it

That was until this moment

Because you, my adorable little shit stain, were now in his PE class

PE class.

The class where everyone gets sweaty and smelly anyway

The only class that happened outside, you know, where his nose is just a little more sensitive because of the wind?

Yeah? That class

....great sevens help him

There are no pleasant smelling flowers in the fliedhouse. There is no access to any type of perfumes in the flied house because there are no pomefiore students out here

Ah shit, look at him, wishing for a pomefiore student

Never thought that one would happen

Anyways, kalim will later question leona about why he's been staying so close to him during PE recently

Because you are constantly bathed in inscents and spices kalim. inscents and spices

You are quickly deemed to jack work

Yeah, no way in hell is he dealing with this by himself, and ruggie isn't either, leona kind of need him alive to do his laundry (and provide the occasional comedic relief for whenever his brain decides it hates him a little more that day)

Now, jack is a lot of things

And he's usually prepared for whatever bullshit his dormmates and friends throw at him

But this...

Um. Perfect. Bro. Can you...can you perhaps not smell yourself?

Because he can

Everyone can. Actually

His approach is thankfully more quick than riddles

But he still tries to do it the polite way first

Leaving some cacti and succulents that had flowered early in your dorm room from time to time

They ultimately did nothing on their own, which is why he made epel politely convinced vil to put a little scenting spell on them

....it kind of works?

Congratulations Y/N. You now smell like shit with flowers on top

Which is arguably worse, but leona and literary EVERYONE ELSE will take what they can get

....

And then there's ruggie

He doesn't know when or why it happened, but he thinks it had something to do with the way you always seemed to marval at the water

He didn't eat in the cafeteria often, usually just eating on the go or whenever he found the time

But he still needed to get in there everyday for a certain spoiled prince

So...he saw you there sometimes

...and he saw your face when you looked at the water everyone else was drinking

You had stopped wearing that weird mask a long time ago (ruggie could vaguely remember leonas shoulders dropping the slightest bit when he told him....he wonders why that was sometimes)

The day you had taken it off was certainly...an event

But it turned out to be a good thing in the end, because seeing your face and what you were feeling was so much easier

And it let him see that painfully familiar face of disbelief and envy so much earlier

He knew those faces for a good reason. They'd been his after all, once upon a time

....he shouldn't do this

...

....he really shouldn't do this

....

When ruggie was nine years old, he saw a dead man just behind the old, half dried up waterhole that his ancestors ancestors used to gather water from

He had died from a disease that had made its way into their water supply

He remembered coming down with a bad fever shortly after and despite the dry heat of the desert, ruggie bucchi had never felt so cold

The old king of sunset savanna, leona kingscholars late father, had sent in doctor's and scientists and a years worth of clean water for his village only a few months later

Too bad they didn't come earlier...

It would've save a couple body bags

He hoped, oh great seven he'd hoped, that no one else dear to him had ever had to live that particular part if his life

...

...too bad nothing ever likes going his way

Your water didn't deserve to be called water, to have the glory and credit of the ever precious resource that allowed life itself

Because your water, wasn't water

It was poison

It's was a sickly brown, sometimes green, sometimes black, poison

And it was everywhere in the tunnels, you had said

"When I was little, I was playing around in an old abandoned army tank-"

("a what?" "Don't worry about it")

"-and...well, I guess we played a little too hard, because I got cut. Just a small scrape on my knee really..."

"But...it was enough for the water to make its way into my blood"

"...one of the medics. A man named Abdul? Yes. Abdul. He was able to bleed me just enough before it made its way in too deep"

"But still...the days after."

"I had never felt so...so.."

"...cold?", his voice came out in a whimper. It was barely a whisper

And he swore he felt his heart break a little when you shook your head with a sad smile

"Freezing"

....

....

A few things changed after that

It turns out, washing wounds with clean water and soap was a good way to treat wounds

Even the small ones!

"And it keeps you healthy! You won't get sick as easily as before!"

Ruggie didn't know exactly how to feel about the way your eyes sparkled at that

Azul Ashengrotto:

You must be out of your God damn mind if you think your even allowed in the lounge

Sorry perfect, but Azul has a business to run and patrons to keep happy, and you, my dear boy, do not currently spark joy

You smell like the trash that would sometimes wind up in the sea, despite it being illegal to dump your shit in the sea but whatever

He didn't like that you smelled so much like home

...but also not like home

The smell of the ocean on you was undeniable, but...you also smelled. Toxic

And he, for the life of him, just couldn't figure out why

He's not totally sure he wanted to figure out why

Something had clicked for jade a while back, that he was atleast semi-certain of

It was hard not to be, really

After all, he had never seen a look of horror that had crossed his vice wardens face quite like that before

He could still catch him looking at you in the halls, looking like he wanted to go right up to you and confirm whatever suspicions he had

But he never did...

Maybe it was because you weren't really close

Or maybe it was because you smelled terrible

Nah but seriously perfect, you act like the perfect gentleman when your not on survival mode, so why can't you just attempt to smell nice?

One shower ☝️ just- just one!

Please!

Here! Hell lend you some of this cologne too! It's expensive and it smells very pleasant if he says so himsel- wait- perfect- where the fuck are you going?

You were later found on the ceiling by lilia

....

How did you even..?

.

Whatever.

He's not wasting his time thinking about this right now

He has a restaurant to open! People to manage! A Floyd leech to control! And a fire cat to-

....

.......

Ya'know what? Jade wanted to talk to you anyways

This is his problem now

Floyd should be enough to keep the costumers and employees in line while he's making contracts in the back right?

Right

So when you open the dorm to Ramshakle and see one jade leech carrying a terrified grim in his arms, you better not complain about a damn thing Y/N

...

Anyways, you and jade are having some tea

You got it from kalim! It's the most expensive thing in the whole dorm!

Jade had a friendly smile on his face while he watched you make it

Why was he so focused on how much sugar you put in though?

..whatever man.

He took his midly sweet with two cubes of sugar and you took a strange satisfaction in watching his face go from friendly to horrified disbelief as he watched you dump about half the damn sugar from the container into yours

You still hadnt said anything

...

It was getting a little awkward. He was watching you drink your tea like a hawk

He lowkey looked concerned for your health

And sanity. Probably. Yeah

"So uh. Perfect?"

Oh?

"Hm?"

"May i ask a question?"

"What type of question?"

"A possibly deeply personal one"

There was a pause.

"...Well you can ask"

"Ah...so. you said you lived next to the ocean?"

You probably shouldn't have brightened at the mention of that...wretched place

....but it was still you home

And people will miss there home like people do

"Yes. Although I could never really go out to the surface by myself, so I never really got to see the sun rise over the horizon..i never got to see the sun at all actually"

He looked...

You couldn't really name how he looked

"Oh."

"..."

"So. This question. Did you...was the water. What was the water like?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what color was it"

"It water that ran through the tunnels closest to the shore line always looked very...dark I guess? But now because of the lighting, some of the water itself was straight up black"

Jade wasn't smiling anymore.

"The elders had to boil it at least five times over before it was safe to drink"

No. Jade wasn't smiling at all.

"I see."

"So I'm guessing you didn't exactly waste any water to bathe?"

You tilted you head to the side in confusion

"Um. No?"

"...well that explains a couple things"

Two hours later, you were dressed down to your boxers and a T-shirt, and being thrown in a tub full of foamy water

It smelled rather pleasant

The water was warm. Was it freshly boiled?

Yeah. Probably.

...

Thos felt. Nice.

Jade picked up a rectangular shaped bottle and squirted a liquid in his hands. It reminded you if that laundry detergent you saw ruggie using to wash leonas clothes

Oh.

It was soap?

You felt long slender finders work it's way into your hair

Oh

...

"Tilt your head back for me please"

You did as requested

When had you closed your eyes?

The sound of gentle splashing and the feeling of your hair getting wet ... shouldn't have been this relaxing

The texture of the soap felt different somehow. Less liquid and more foam

It was nice.

.

.

.

Jade had excused himself after washing your hair. Explaining what to do with your body and the surrounding soaps and this weird fluffy thing called a luffa

And the next day, you passed a certain azul ashengrotto

Who then took the most violent double take you've ever seen

Also Floyd was staring at you. And then at jade. And then at you.

And then back at jade.

....uh.

Yes.

Azul stared for a few more seconds.

And then he sighed.

Ok. So you smelled uncannily like jade.

He did not want to think about how that happened but ok.

You didn't smell like burning garbage that was then put out in contaminated water

And that was really all he could ask for at this point.

Kalim al-asim and my bbg. Mostly my bbg

Jamil has to wave an incense stick around you before you go into the dorm

Nah but fr bro was fighting for his life in chapter 4

You could almost hear him replaying "I need him for the plan I need him for the plan I need him for the plan" over and over again in his head like a mantra

There was a cry of relief when he flung your ass to to desert

And now kalim has to deal with you

Bro is crying and in desperate need of comfort and he pulls away when you hug him 💀

Floyd will laugh at this

you will be sad and confused

And Floyd will laugh harder

Kalim is fucking struggling not to grimace when you get too close to him and you just don't know why

It's because you smell like shit and Jamil didn't wave around the vanilla lavender smoke stick around you to slightly 🤏 mask that scent

BUT ITS NOT LIKE YOU KNOW THAT LOSER LMAO

There was a random gust of wind in the desert one night and you scent drifted over to Floyd

He doubled over coughing

He did this for a good three minutes

Jade was hovering over his shoulder with water waiting for him to throw up

I hope this puts it into perspective of how foul you will smell after only having a bath about twice a year

Yesh, no wonder all your childhood friends are dead

Kalim is trying his best to make sure you and everyone else are alright without getting too close to you

It's precious really

Nah but he is just so close to using oasis maker on you and you alone

But there ain't really any soap 'round these parts so you will smell worse than a wet dog if he does that

So he doesnt

Begrudgingly

Jade thanks him for this

Jamil nearly cries when you come back

These are not tears of joy

You nearly make him stop the fight to go get you a bath

Help him he's having flashbacks of that awkward time in his life where he had to get kalims baths ready for him every night

And when the battle is over?

Jamil is spending an extra two days in that infirmary

He was already considering it because of kalim but you were just the fucking cherry weren't you?

Meanwhile, the world's perfume companies is a little concerned with how much perfume and scented oils are suddenly going out of stock

And you, you fucking dog, are concerned about the people trying to drag you to scarbia and start spraying you with some weird, good smelling liquid

...

They brought back a memory you didn't want to bring back

Two injured scarabia students and one paranoid Ramshakle perfect later, jamil finally snapped

He kindly let you know you smelled like a human rights violation and told you that you needed a bath more than he needed a will to live

...

Why were you being so quite? Were you feeling shame? If you were feeling shame then it was about dam ti-

"What did they spray me with"

"...I'm guessing a variety of perfume"

"...perfumes.?"

You looked confused

And. A little horrified?

Uh.

"Yes. Perfumes"

Was it just him or was it getting a little hot in here?

In, you know, the desert

"But those werent....is everyone at this school an aristocrat?"

...blink

"No?"

"Then why did those two have perfume?"

Blink. Blink.

"...perfect"

"Perfumes are. Perfectly accessible to the public"

Damn shawty, you're entirely reality really loves crashing down on you huh?

You spaced out almost immediately after that, and Jamil led you to the showers, much more gently than he was planning on before

....

He didn't like how he felt his stomach start to drop when you froze up at the clean, hot water coming out of the shower head

Vil Shoenheit

There really ain't much to say here

Easily the most blunt

Yeah, you're not getting anywhere near him if you smell like that

Sorry not sorry, it's not happening

Gets it done immediately

Has you taken the the bathroom and rook explains what a shower is and how often you have to take one

And that it basically

Man's wasted no time and now you have a thirty step skin care routine. Congratulations.

Idia shroud:

....

We're you expecting this man to be around enough to actually smell you?

Nah

Nah, yall meet online or through his floating tablet and that is it

....and then there's boardgame club

He invited you once

He quickly realized and regretted his mistake the second you walked into the room

Ortho reminds him that he too, smells like shit most of the time

It does little to subdue him

But it does make him have a small pang of guilt and the shame that comes with hypocrisy every time he talks shit in his head

He tells one person about this as a sort of dollar store therapy session

And that person is his gaming partner

And- damn bro, you got one of these foul smelling bitches too?

So this is a common phenomenon?

I guess?

Yeah, don't plan on interacting with him in person until you figure out how to use a damn shower

Your on tablet treatment

But you still need to log into WoW when he and the hot-pink emo need you

You're surprisingly pretty good? Actually?

I mean, you certainly know your survival tactics

Including some shit he's never really bothered to think about

Tf do you mean make a grenade out of a tin can? Wtf is a grenade in the first place?

Anyways, idia has some new weapons in the inventory

But uh...perfect?

Sometimes the shit that you day is....concerning

Especially around water sources

"This is all water?"

"...yes?"

"And it hasn't been drained? It's not that we'll hidden. There's no way that the upper counsle hasn't found it yet"

"..."

"Huh?"

Idia would like to blame the VR for making you forget this is a video game

But yeah he's got some questions

And lucky for him! He is severely sleep deprived and lacking his usual "just apply common sense" mentality!

So again! Questions

First if all, was water rare where....ever your from?

(Water wasn't rare exactly, you guys in the tunnels just...weren't aloud to have it)

Well what the hell were "the tunnles?"

He didn't ask that one though, he was more focused on the water.

Questions for another day

What's the upper counsle?

(you stayed silent for a long minyte after that, only replying in a non-answer that you really hated the upper counsle)

How are you still alive if you don't have water?

"Well...I'm not really alive anymore..."

What?

"But before! Before that I lived in a base that was close to the ocean, and water would sometimes flow in"

I'm sorry, idia feels like you've just brushed over something more important

"So we'd collect as much as we could and boil it! It'd have to be boiled and filtered at least five times before it even go to some semblance of clean... so there really wasn't a whole lot to divide amongst the people down there afterwards"

Oh so we're. We're just gonna move right on past that. Ok then.

"Wait so. Have you ever had a shower?"

"Whenever we have enough water I guess? But those are mainly for the children and the sick ones"

.......ahhhhh

"Ok. Well. I'm gonna tell you what a shower is, and you are going to take one immediately"

"..ok?"

So now he's here, buying more soap than he would need to last a dozen lifetimes

How did his life cough ever come to this?

...and seriously. What the hell did you mean when you basically told him that you were a dead man walking?

Malleus draconia:

Met you in your little gas mask, assassination, survival island phase

And you met some big ass horn man who popped out from a bunch of little....light bugs

And uh...uh.

Let's just say having a dull, poorly made knife thrown straight at you wasn't really the best first impression

Mother fucker was about to smite you down where you stood until you asked who tf he was

Then he paused

...oh damn

This little human boy doesn't know shit huh?

Dam-.....

What smells?

Bro starts sniffing the air like a fuckin dog

Now, malleus could say he had a relatively strong nose

He was a dragon fae who had lived for hundreds of years after all, he could memorize scents and pick things out in them

Like he could pick out the chemicals and pollution and death in yours

He takes two steps back

And then one step forward because he's confused

What.....what the fuck?

Uhhhh....you won't mind if he just...

Over the course of several days, you gradually smell better

Just enough to be bearable

Leona on his knees thanking some ancient God he don't believe in fr

You also get a strong craving for water

Not to drink it necessarily, but to just. Be in it.

You're also finding yourself in the Ramshakle bathrooms more often than not and you can't figure out why

Like now, when you sitting in the bathtub

....

What does this nob do?

Oh shit, you just got water everywhere.

....you just got water.....everywhere

Clean water.

Hot. Water.

....

...you're really in another world aren't you?

____________________

This has been sitting in my drafts for like a week now holy shit💀

Ok. Time to work on some other shit now. I'm like half way done with the first chapter of The Doves Called The Day You Came Home so that's nice ig

[saszor]

image description both in alt text and copied below!

I haven't posted in so long that summer ended 😓 just pretend i'm totally on time thanks (also first time drawing a beach wheelchair? not great but an Attempt was made)

previous drawings of the series; [1] [2] [3] [4]

[image description copied from alt text: digital drawing of multiple disabled characters in swimwear hanging out on a sandy beach. in top left corner is a tall Brown person using a crutch with a scar across their spine shown from behind, talking to a skinny Black trans man with cranial nerve palsy and a head tilt, who is gesturing to something off canvas. next to them is an elderly couple relaxing under the sun on a towel; a Black man with achondroplasia is holding hands with a white man with top surgery scars and a rotationplasty on his right leg. below them is a tan autistic girl wearing a chew necklace and having an AAC device on her lap. she doesn't have much expression on her face and looks at something to her side while her friend is talking to her. the friend is a Black female amputee wearing a full body swimsuit with burn scars visible on her stumps. she has dark skin and a big smile. on the right side of the canvas is a white older woman with a large scar on one side of her chest pushing the beach wheelchair with a younger woman in it. the girl has cerebral palsy and contractures in all of her limbs. she has long hair with choppy bangs, an uneven smile and strabismus. from the bottom left to the top right is a scene of three characters in water throwing a beach ball. person holding the ball in the left corner is a fat nonbinary masc-presenting person with a grin and without an eye. their skin is brown and their hair is dyed to very light blonde while their facial hair is black. they are about to throw the ball to a girl in the top right. she has both of her hands above her head. she has a big smile and big eyebrows. most of her fingers are very short, missing, or connected with each other. behind her is a fat feminine-presenting person with neurofibromatosis and a lot of tumors on hir body. ze has short pink hair, a cataract, and a matching swimsuit. ze is smiling while looking at hir friend. most of the characters on the drawing have either body hair, stretch marks, or both. background is mostly yellow. end image description.]

[hiraunia]

With the final chapter of TCWKTM by @crinklytinfoil upcoming I have decided to celebrate with more doodles. YAY!

(Did I say upcoming, I meant release. Apperently I posted this 3 minutes after the last chapter updated)

I don't know why I have decided that Shrike always wears those night vision goggles(?) now but they look cool at least(GOD I LOVE THEM).

I think I've finally gotten a hang of Dani's hairstyle for my design which is a blessing because in order from the easiest to hardest hair texture to draw is Coily>Straight>Locs>Wavy>Braids>Curly with a jump of times 4 from braids to curly(My hubris for giving Cyan short curly hair has and will continue to keep biting me in the ass).

Speaking of Cyan, I've also updated him. He always has eye bags now cause he feels tired now, more so than the start of the fic at least. Since, unless I've missed something, he's still wearing Black's suit I felt I should make it a part of his outfit. One of the issues I was having when I drew him though was that we still call him Cyan but he wasn't wearing cyan anymore which is an issue when I read the story but when I drew him it just felt odd. My solution to that hangup of mine was to keep the suit and belt black’s but give him the gloves and boots so there's at least some cyan still on him since I don't think it was ever stated that Johnny cut those off, there wouldn't be a reason to and they would fit him better than Johnny's anyways. He also isn’t wearing his backpack thing or helmet(not that I ever drew anyone with theirs anyways) since I figured they probably lost it or some shit. In this pic no one is wearing theirs but that’s just because I wanted them to look like they were chilling, Cyan straight up doesn’t have his.

Funnily enough this is the one that took the least amount of time to make, I started it yesterday and finished it like now though I do attribute that to a stroke of sudden inspiration that I was able to draw in my sketchbook so honestly most of the work was the coloring.

Drawing these guys just kinda being silly is so fun it's unfair, especially Purple. This man has done so much bullshit, I should shoot him on sight but the moment I pick up my pen he appears, the motherfucker! A pretty fun aspect of these purple are, as you can see, he's using Grey's skin. While I'm pretty sure in the story he looks the exact same I figured it would be more fun for drawing purposes to mix the two of them together to create some distinction rather than just drawing Grey with a purple suit.

My design for Grey had him as average height but more stout(at least comparatively for my artstyle) while Purple was a little more scrawny and tall which worked well for what I wanted to do. His bangs are center parted when Grey's bangs are gathered in the center. Also I drew their expressions differently, when it's Purple I draw his more bitter/sour, I decided that most of his expressions are squinty and tend to furrow the brows while Grey's are more, I'm not sure how to put it, genuine?

As you can probably tell I really enjoy trying to come up with the character's designs myself but I know when to throw in the towel and admit someone did better than me. I tried to come up with a design for Olive/Finch myself but I just could not come up with one I liked even equally let alone more than @krysmcscience 's design. They really captured their energy well so I’m just using theirs.

Ayy, I drew my take on good old Johnny boy. I think I did a pretty good job making him look older without him becoming a mass of wrinkles.

Drawing Flayer's ship was pretty fun, I've been trying to draw backgrounds and objects more so it was good practice. We obviously don't know what it actually looks like yet other than it is made of flesh and metal so I definitely had to just make shit up. For these bitches sake I hope it's bigger than what I designed because it is going to suck otherwise. Just as I'm typing this I kinda already wanna redesign it though.

I went for something more simple based of the premise that ships are complicated and difficult to make; the whole thing is kinda supposed to look like the flesh is doing a lot of the work to keep it together to compensate for a lack of technical knowledge and skill but just now I remembered that Flayer was the head of the mechanics so she almost certainly has more than enough knowledge and experience to make a good ship on her own even without the flesh. Oh well, I can redesign it when we learn more. I'm keeping its face though, the face was a completely but incredibly happy accident.

Also, I find it interesting that the Imposter’s missions are usually about them destroying biomechanical technology but one of Flayer's named imposter abilities is to use her genetic material to create machinery that fuses artificial and organic material.

Bounus Doodles!

I'm pretty sure these were all drawn sometime before the new year but they were all I had and I didn't want to post one image of doodles so enjoy them now.

While I am still proud of Brown and Devon making out I think my favorite doodle here is Cyan and his judgmental ass face. Why is he staring at Finch like, he is not in any position to but judging like that.

I also borrowed Kry's designs for Red and Umber, I couldn't help myself for Umber, it was just too perfect!

Not sure how I feel about my take on Skeld!White(Finnegan I CANT-). I'm not sure if it's just I'm so used to seeing Kry's design that anything else feels weird or just that I made him too baby faced and princessy. I tend to draw men that are very pretty and feminine so I think I went overboard when I tried my hand since he was usually described similar to how I would normally design a man.

[maryannecrimsworth]

Can you hear me?

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Guide for tormented hearts

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Selective mute reader

Warnings: this one is a bit longer; description of dead animal; Wednesday trying to perform an autopsy; anxiety attack; mention of past trauma; older brother being an idiot?; more confusion and danger;

Summary: It was a threat --- and Wednesday would not let you ignore it. The person who threw a dead animal through your window as an message, asking to meet you, would not get away with it, nor would they fail to find you. Wednesday's going with you to the forest, and she's going to make your stalker pay.

Some reader's characteristics: R has anxiety disorder, selective mutism, and is a really unique type of outcast. Reader's background it's derived from my Wednesday fic, The Hunt.

More details of Hank background and his partnership with Wednesday here.

Hank was not answering you. 

He was the one who insisted you needed a phone for emergencies — yet, he was not accepting your call. You were standing in the front yard, the smell of the dead dog getting stronger and spreading all over the house while you tried once again to call your brother. No answer.

You held your breath and contained your impulse of throwing the cell phone away. Your fingernails scratched the screen as you tried to control your breathing: the strong smell of the animal thrown through your window churned your stomach, and the shortness of breath had already created a pressure in your chest as if your body was about to crumble.

"What did Hank say?" Wednesday asked as soon you stomped back to the living room. You got startled at first, surprised she was still there — totally stunned because she, in fact, came after you in the first place — and then your stomach flipped when you saw what she was doing. 

You looked down at your feet immediately and shook your head negatively. Her sudden silence meant one thing: she was watching you.

Unable to raise your head and look back at her, you wandered through the kitchen until you found a few towels.

"There's a message inside it." Wednesday told you when you came back.

Of course, there is. This poor dog is nothing but a warning.

"Encrypted." You ignored her last word, grabbing her wrist and carefully taking her hand from inside the dog's belly. A sour taste came to your mouth as you wiped her hands. "It's a message, a warning." She kept going. "Either a witchcraft or a threat." You held her hand through the towel, feeling her fist got stiffer as you watched her face. Her breathing was agitated, heavy, and her eyes analyzed the bleeding dog behind you. You let her go, but you couldn't bring yourself to look at the dog. "You don't seem frightened."

I'm not. It's not the first time this has happened.

"It's not the first time this has happened." She vocalized your thoughts. "Do you know who did it?"

Wednesday's first guess was the shrill-voiced girl, you heard her statement before you walked to the front yard, a revenge because of the prank with the spiders. She was also obsessed with calling you dog or any other scornful pet name — so it would explain the choice of the animal. But it was too violent, too dark for a high school girl — outcast or normie.

You shook your head and stepped away from the smelly animal before giving your phone to Wednesday. She eyed all the texts and photos bumping in the screen.

"You have a stalker." She stated and you nodded. "When did they first text you?" You gesticulated. "At the Outcast Convention?" You shook your head and pointed at her chest, even though she wasn't wearing the school’s uniform. "When you arrived at Nevermore?" You gave her thumbs up and walked away. 

This time, you headed to the bathroom to pick a larger towel.

"There's a message inside it." she was standing in the bathroom doorway when you turned to leave. "Encrypted."

Honestly, you couldn't care less: you simply wanted to take the poor dog away from your living room's carpet. Now its smell felt like it was invading your lungs, filling your ribcage like it was going to rupture it - the pressure in your chest increased, just as a buzzing in your ears grew. You saw Wednesday's lips moving, saying something to you, but you didn't hear it. 

In a burst, the thin line that had kept you from falling apart was torn as you saw the bloody paper she held out to you. Before you could ask her to move away, you kicked the bathroom door shut and threw yourself into the sink, the horrible taste that had taken over your entire being now forced its way out of your throat. You wiped your face and lathered up your mouth until you could no longer feel the smell polluting your lungs.

After you finally managed to breathe again, your whole body shook and you dropped onto the bathroom floor.

The message: it was from your parents, you already knew. The intrinsic smell of the dead dog was the marking of a predator's territory. A werewolf. They use it in the Lycanthropy camps - Hank used to help them make them. You couldn't stay close, your reaction has always been the same: exasperated and violent. Everything your parents did had always made you violent and exasperated.

The images of the camps went on in your head for too long, and you shrank to the bathroom floor without even realizing it. You could see your memories: your mother bringing a stinking rag to your face as you screamed for help once again, begging Hank to free you, to make it all stop, to keep you awake — but Hank never did. However, this time it wasn't Hank who was standing in front of you. 

"Y/N." You lifted your head just enough to see a piece of paper - a clean one this time - and a bottle of water in Wednesday's hands. "I have decrypted the message. She held the paper out to you, but you shook your head.

No, I don't want to know. 

You just want to forget it all - get over it, once and for all.

Wednesday sat down in front of you, this time holding out the water bottle to you, not the note. She watched you as you examined the bottle in her hands: how your eyes lengthened over her fingers, searching for a stain of blood or a remnant of the dog's guts, how your eyes studied her intently even as you kept your face from lifting, how your nails were broken when you raised your hand to accept the bottle. It was a habit of yours, she had noticed, to scratch your arms until the uncontrollable flow of emotions and energy had left your body.

With your right arm bandaged, your hand went directly to the sling, and now there were a few torn threads in the fabric, matching your bruised fingers. You picked up the bottle, but didn't open it. Your body, eyes and mind seemed to have drifted away, to another place - lost in your own thoughts.

"They want to meet you tonight." Wednesday began again, trying to get you to look at her. "I'll come with you." It was not a request, but a warning: she would go with you - but you shook your head immediately, finally looking at her.

No, no, no. You wouldn't go anywhere - you would forget.

"If this isn't the first time this has happened, we need to discover who is pulling this off."

We? 

You frowned, and your surprise did not go unnoticed by Wednesday's gaze.

"I received similar messages a few months ago." She explained, showing you pictures of severed animals in her phone, similar to the ones you had received on yours. "But they stopped after the Convention."

A common stalker. Part of you became intrigued, you had to admit, but you shook your head again, in denial. 

If they haven’t hurted Wednesday, they weren’t going to hurt you - it was needed to just ignore it.

"I'm not going to let you ignore it." There was a different tone in her voice: a tension, denser than usual. You looked at her again, hoping to see the look that so commonly accompanied that voice.

Pity. That's how people looked at you: with pity. As if you were fragile, broken, defenseless. Shyness and silence have always meant weakness to them — but not to her. Wednesday was looking at you with rage. As if the threat had been to herself.

Your blood heated up again - you didn't really know why - and you ran back to your room. Wednesday followed you with inexplicable skill, entering the room before you could lock the door - at least that's what she thought you would do. You were so fast that you didn't even realize that Wednesday had gotten rid of the dog and cleaned up the entire living room. Instead, you headed over to your desk, grabbed a paper and handed it to her. 

She read the document, expressionless, and handed it back to you with a cold countenance.

"I don't care if they are traps." Wednesday spoke up. "I'll find out who did it."

You sighed with frustration. What would it take to make her let go of it?

"Y/N, why is the door open?" A voice called out from the hallway, causing Wednesday to move a few steps closer to you. "Why is the window broken? Is someone there?"

"Meet me at the lake." Wednesday pressed the note against your palm, whispering close to your face before turning away completely and leaving the room.

"Wednesday, what are you-" she walked straight past Hank in the hallway, heading for the exit without answering or even staring at him. "What was that? What happened?" Hank asked you, who kept standing in the middle of the room, the paper still surprisingly intact in your hand as you fought the urge of closing your first. 

“Glad to see you’re alive.” Hank stepped closer to check on you, ignoring your words. “You didn't pick up your phone.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about it, work has been crazy lately and I thought you’d try to get some sleep.” Hank patted your shoulder. He's hiding something. “Now I see I was wrong. What was Wednesday doing here? What is going on?”

You looked up at your brother and saw the familiar worried frown between his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation, for a confession. You hated that look in his eyes: it reminded you of home, of your father — of how patronizing he was, and how patronizing Hank was being right now. 

“Come on, talk to me.” He adjusted your sling. “What did you tell her, uh?”

“I told her Ovid is better than Homer.” You walked away, putting her note in your pocket and picking up your notebooks from all over the ground. 

“I’m serious, Y/N.”

“I am too, the Iliada is overrated.” You started to pack your books, your poems, gathering your recents writings on your desk. “People should give more value to Metamorphoses.”

“Y/N!” His loud voice did not scare you. “What. did. you. tell. her?”

“She knows I’m an Alp, and that’s all.” You sighed, the lie slipping naturally out of your tongue. “I guess…I guess I have a friend now, Hanky. Isn’t that all you wanted in the first place?” 

Hank's expression softened — exactly like you intended.

"Yes, Y/N, of course, I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. I'm worried, that's it."

"Why is that?" You accepted your brother’s hug and whispered in his sweater. "You've already told her about the camps."

"No, not really." Hank stroked your hair. "If I had, Mama and Papa wouldn't get out of the Convention alive."

"They shouldn't have." You muttered. "I've discovered something. Something about them."

"What is it?"

"Their new camp…" Hank froze. He already knows what you are going to say. "Is in Jericho. Just like they've planned. It's all a part of their plan." You swallowed hard. "They're coming after us, Hank."

X

You were different.

That was the first thing Wednesday noticed when her eyes landed on your figure, standing by the lake. This time, your head wasn't bowed, your hands weren't moving, and your shoulders weren’t curved, nor immobilized. You crossed your arms over your chest, revealing an axel hanging on your belt and a knife pocketed on the other side. Straight posture, stiff facial expression and cold gaze — you looked like a completely different person.

And she almost thought you were when you started walking through the forest in utter silence. She got used to it: the absence of your voice didn't delay your communication at all — Wednesday understood all your gestures and signs. She could read you easily, from the very beginning — but not now.

Now your boots sink into the mud, loudly, breaking violently the silence of the forest as your breathing grows heavier and faster. She greeted you as a test, expecting a head shake as reply; then she slowed down her pace, trying to make you look back; in both tests, the result was the same: failure. You kept walking fast, determinedly, with your eyes focused on the way in front of you.

"Why are you upset?" This made you stop. "I already know the truth about your parents." She walked over to you, her gaze still looking for a reaction, explicit or not.

"They've kidnapped you and Hank, but you have escaped. There's no need to be afraid. " She stood in front of you, her gaze mistaking the angry gleam in your eyes with fear. 

She thought of you like that: fragile, fearful, so you're supposed to be afraid, especially now. 

You frowned — finally — your mind taking long to comprehend what she has spoken. You gritted your teeth slightly, holding your breath before stepping away. 

"I know about their tortures." You froze. Your whole body changed before Wednesday’s gaze: your eyes widened slightly, your lips were bitten immediately and your breathing got muffled. Now she could read you again — she could tell what was on your face. And it was hatred.

"They are—" Your hand covered Wednesday's lips, silencing her voice abruptly. Her eyes widened and then frowned in confusion as yours drifted away frantically. You were targeting something, tracking down a figure hidden in the darkness of the forest.

Your hand left her lips and approached yours. 

'Silence' you gestured to her, your eyes staying in her figure for less than a second. She could hear the growling at a distance before understanding your gestures. 

It was too late. You have already arrived — and so has the beast.

The cut in the dog's belly, even though precise, it wasn't human made: it was made by the same being now moving slowly in the dark, surrounding you and Wednesday. You two could feel it, but not see it — you could see nothing but each other's face.

Your fingers trailed down her arm slowly, staying in her wrist while your gaze finally focused on something. 

Wednesday watched your features: your jaw got stiffer as your grip became stronger. She understood what were you waiting for.

You held her firmly, breathing quickly and weakly while the darkness kept approaching, surrounding, whispering a sound you knew so well.

You moved and pulled Wednesday the second the beast jump: its claws missed Wednesday's figure and then sprinted towards yours.

Your hands fell to your belt: you grabbed the knife and raised it in time — the teeth of the beast crunched the blade, gaining time for you and Wednesday escape.

You ran back to the lake, to the school’s surroundings, but your steps were not faster than the beast's.

The lake was glowing in the distance, at the edge of the horizon, when your sight was taken by a black shape. The roar sounded familiar in your ear before the shadow took a detailed form in front of you: the yellow eyes, long snout, and sharp teeth, now bleeding, was a recurring image from your childhood. Like a painting that summed up your own past.

You grabbed Wednesday's wrist and drew her behind you, but this time she didn't follow you - instead her body gave way under your touch, heavy. Wednesday was down on the floor, her body rigid, her head thrown back - she was shaking as if she was having a seizure - but her state passed like a glimpse through your eyes.

You turned again to the beast, roaring closer and closer, its long paws sinking into the wet grass. The sound of its weight plunging into the soil was muffled, slow, menacing - and familiar.

There was no escape - not with Wednesday unconscious.

You must act - create time, keep the beast away from her.

You sighed loudly, the Axe now weighing heavily in your hand as you stepped forward, forcing the creature to back away.

The wolf recognized you immediately, and its growls became louder.

Its teeth were about to touch your neck when you muttered:

"Hello, Dad."

X

The darkness of the forest, the howl of the wind among the trees, the damp chill of the grass: in the blink of an eye, everything was replaced by an enclosed, warm, cramped hovel, the air so dense that Wednesday's body was pulled down. It was hard to breathe in the stinking aura of the place, and Addams' mind spun as she tried to run her eyes around her surroundings. She saw three people: a young woman, and a couple of adults, cowering, moving around in the brightest corner of the hovel.

"STOPP!" The scream made Wednesday fall down. She sank on the ground, dodging the loud sobs and shouts as if they were blades. "LASS MICH GEHEN!"

The woman was chained on a table, with the couple holding her down, grabbing her limbs violently.

"Du Hexe" "You'll pay for it!" The man punched her abdomen, making her winch and cry again. More blood  flowed down her legs, another roar escaping her throat as another contraction came.

"Wednesday!" Your voice wasn't stronger than a distant whisper to her ears. You knelt down and sat her on the ground, you both alone in the area around the lake.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" The woman sobbed, fighting, the chains rattling because of her exasperated movements, she kicked and dodged from the couple's hands, but she wasn't strong enough. They held her knees and opened her legs, opening the way for the baby to come out. "LET MY SON ALONE"

The cry from the baby went unheard under his mother's screams. "HE IS FREE!" The man grabbed the newborn, covering him with a thick blanket and taking him away from his mother, making the child cry and scream even louder.Now, mother and baby sobbed uncontrollably. Everyone was screaming and sobbing.

Wednesday gathered the strength to stand up: she covered her ears, trying to protect herself from the suffocating sound of pleads and screams.

"Please, open your eyes. " you begged, holding her hands and placing them on your shoulders. "You have to breathe."

The Addams stepped ahead, making her way through the blows, chains, and sobs until she saw the baby again, now being taken away from the room.

"Wednesday, open your eyes!"

She rushed forward one last time, the energy and breath fading from her body, and she saw the baby clearly. The Addams glimpsed the bloodied, small body, making his way out of the rags and showing himself to her for the first time. There was a reddish birthmark in his left collarbone.

"Wednesday!" 

She gasped, finally opening her eyes. 

Wednesday winched and grunted, shivering under your touch as if you were going to hurt her. She was afraid — confused — as if she was trapped in a nightmare. 

"I'm here." You held her hands, still on your shoulders, and caressed her skin slowly. First brushing one, ever so slightly, then the other, until she looked at you. "Feel it." You placed her thumbs on your neck, her fingers now pressuring your skin, feeling your movements. "Breathe with me." Her eyes were still widened, her skin was still gleaming with sweat, but her lips closed slowly as she started to regain her breath.

You let her go as the usual coldness took over her features again.

"Are you okay?" You asked, your shoulder and neck now shivering ever so quickly because of the absence of her touch. "Can you hear me?"

"You're speaking." She stated with a whisper, hands falling to her lap, gaze locked on yours. 

"I can speak, but it's hard....sometimes"

"Why is it not hard now?"

"It is, but..." You chuckled, lowering your gaze. "I've been told my voice it's calming."

"It's not." Her sharp tone made you look up again, eyes widened and cheeks blushed. "It's aggravating." You helped her to stand up, holding her arms until she was firm on her feet again.

"Sorry." You said quietly, stepping away, head low again. 

Wednesday looked around and saw there was no beast chasing you. You two were safe, near the school, in the same place you met hours ago. 

Has it been hours?

Wednesday remembered running in the forest with you — and then the screams began. And then you were holding her, helping her breathe. Her body was burning, shivering, twisting, her mind felt stretching, about to break — then you held her hand. The warm, light touch, brought her back. The image of the crying baby was placed by your worried face, you spoke to her and she was finally able to think again.

And you were bruised. Disheveled. Your jacket was torn and your belt was empty: no knife, no axel. You escaped the beast and carried her to safety, she could tell by the way your clothes were crumpled.

You saved her life and apologized.

You remained in silence as you walked her back to her room.

Ophelia Hall was completely silent, empty, and so were its hallways. Everyone was sleeping by the time Wednesday held her door open. You waved goodbye and stepped back, ready to leave, but her gaze kept you still.

"Come in." She ordered.

So you obeyed.

@cursedchar @i984 (I should have rested but I made this instead) @4pparecium @toournextadventure @tnnadia @colezb @elduster @efectoangel @sweetaimu @tundra1029 @rainbowsixreader @awolfcsworld @rainbow-love4ever @alexkolax

[call-me-copycat]

Aizawa X Sick! Child Reader (GN)

Welcome! (Introduction / Request Rules)

SUMMARY: Aizawa is trying to get child reader to eat their dinner, but they wind up sick and Aizawa overreacts.

W.C: 1,713

PAIRING: Father/ Caretaker Aizawa x Child Reader (Platonic)

WARNINGS: None, maybe if you don't like fluff, or the idea of being sick (it isn't really that bad)

A/N: My first write! Please go easy on me- but then again if you see any mistakes then please let me know! I'm completely open to any constructive criticism and feedback!

"Just eat it, kid. It's good for you",

Aizawa sighed tiredly, trying his hardest to resist the urge to just throw in the towel and go to sleep.

"...", You didn't respond back, opting to just sit there silently and glare at the man before you.

You were 6 years old, and both you and Aizawa were sitting at the dining table, the chair dwarfing your little body so much so that you had to sit on a phone book that Aizawa found in the closet, the hard surface irritating you further.

The gentle hum of the TV playing some random show quietly in the background accompanied Aizawa's tapping foot, a representation of his internal restlessness combined with him trying his hardest to remain adamant about getting you to eat.

He was trying to get you to eat your dinner, but for whatever reason you decided that you would revolt, testing both his patience and his will to live.

He sighed once again at your silence, rubbing his temple as a headache was starting to form, helping to making the already testy situation even more tedious.

Aizawa knew that you had trouble with eating sometimes, but he thought that you would have trusted him- if not completely, at least a little bit by now.

He looked over at you sitting in your chair, glaring at him across the table, your head barely making its way over the table- so small, yet so stubborn. Like a Chihuahua. He chuckled a bit at the thought, the lack of sleep finally getting to him.

This in turn made you glare your eyes at him even more, trying your best to show the man in front of you how angry you were without having to tell him verbally, hoping that your body language would suffice.

He breathed out of his nose a bit, before leaning back in his chair, pondering what his next move should be that would somehow get you to eat without being too upset. At this point though, he wouldn't care how upset you would be at him, he just needed you to eat.

He tried thinking of different things that he could do or say that would convince you, using the style of thinking that he normally reserved for coming up with techniques for combat during his work as an underground hero.

You hadn't eaten a bite of food for awhile now, so he knew you should be hungry, he just didn't know why you refused to eat- in fact no one did. It was causing everyone to become worried for your health, and he knew that if you didn't eat tonight then he would take you to recovery girl.

"..mk'.." you quietly muttered, finally breaking the unbearable silence that had laid itself over the atmosphere after Aizawa's last words were spoken and he went to piece together a plan.

Aizawa's head shot up, surprised to finally hear you speak in who knows how long.

"Hm? What is it?"he asked gently, wondering if you would even speak again, based on how rare it was for you to speak, really only speaking in response to begin asked questions. He also didn't want to scare away any possibility of finally getting through to you.

"p-please.. don't.. ma..ke.. me", you softly muttered, voice timid and shaking a bit, a stark contrast to your earlier glare, which was everything but.

You breathed in a shaky breath before speaking again.

"M-my stomach.. it h-hurts", You responded back, voice trailing off at the end, arms wrapping around your mid-section, looking down at the ground with a fallen look.

Aizawa sat there for a second, confused at your response, but glad that you responded at all. His heart broke a bit when he realized that you had a stomach ache of some kind. The very man that constantly put his students through hell was now a father that was worried sick about his kid's stomach hurting.

Now... What was the cause of your stomach aching? And why would it cause you to refuse to eat? Aizawa racked his brain for answers, every thought in his head now running rapidly, fully awake all of a sudden.

He tried thinking of different things and scenarios that could have happened. Did you perhaps eat something spicy, or bitter? No.. that wouldn't cause you to refuse to eat.. Maybe you got into something? That would explain the refusing to eat, but it didn't make sense to Aizawa, because he was absolutely positive that he had locked up everything known to exist that could even cause you a little harm.

So what was it?

His thinking was interrupted by you suddenly hunching over in your spot, and hopping down out of your chair to run to the bathroom to throw up. Now, Aizawa was worried, because you hadn't eaten, so why would you have to throw up?

He decided that whatever it was wouldn't wait on him to find out, so he put you in his car, and decided drove you over to U.A- since it was closer, and since he also knew that recovery girl was still there, considering she said that she would be staying late to work on getting a new student enrolled to be her intern.

As he was driving, he looked over at you through the rearview mirror, where you were sitting in the back seat. You looked exhausted, and you were resting your head on the door (since your head barely reached the area around the door and the window), holding your stomach, trying your best not to throw up. You didn't look at all what you normally looked like, seeing as normally you were a little chaotic ball of energy. This didn't sit right with Aizawa, so he stepped on the gas and hurried you to U.A, all the different horrible scenarios running through his head, and fear running through his veins.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°

"They have the stomach flu."

He looked at recovery girl with a confused look (or- at least as confused as you get when it came to Aizawa), wondering if she overlooked something, or made an error of sorts.

She probably knew what he was thinking, because she sighed tiredly before turning and grabbing her clipboard with the symptoms for the stomach flu on it off of the exam table in front of the bed that you were laying on.

"Look. I want you to think of all the things that they've been experiencing, and compare it to the symptoms on this paper".

He shook his head a bit, both adults too tired for all this excitement this late at night (mainly it being recovery girl that's too tired of his overreactions).

Nevertheless, he still looked at the paper still in search of answers, just anything that he could do to ease your pain.

_______________________________________

| VIRAL GASTROENTERITIS |

(STOMACH FLU)

Viral gastroenteritis is an intestinal infection that includes signs and symptoms such as watery diarrhea, stomach cramps, nausea or vomiting, and sometimes fever.

SYMPTOMS

✓ Nausea, vomiting or both

✓ Stomach cramps and pain

× Occasional muscle aches or headache

✓ Dehydration

✓ Irritability

× Low-grade fever

| _____________________________________ |

She took the clipboard back from him and tapped it a couple times with her pen.

"See that?", Recovery Girl asked Aizawa- who was slightly relieved that it wasn't as bad as he thought.

"You were overreacting, Shota. It's not that bad, and by the looks of it, the worst part of it has already passed by now", Recovery Girl informed him.

He sighed did what felt like the hundredth time this day and covered the bottom half of his face with his hand, resting his cheek on his palm. All the energy and adrenaline that had been pumping its way through his system previously now long gone, with a new profound tiredness taking its place.

Recovery Girl chuckled before putting a hand on his shoulder, "They'll be fine. No one's perfect at parenting, but I say that you're doing a pretty good job at it."

Aizawa chuckled a bit at her condescending tone before looking at the spot where you were currently asleep on one of the medical beds where Recovery Girl normally helps to heal students during the day. You were on your side, and were snoring softly, still wrapped up in one of his sweaters that he had given you and thrown on you before he rushed you out the door late at night.

Over the next few days he did as Recovery Girl informed him to, helping you when it came to eating, and making sure that you had plenty of liquids in order to avoid dehydration. Of course, you weren't that willing at first, but eventually you gave in, which made Aizawa glad that he didn't have to put up with anymore stare-offs or grumpy pouts.

Surely enough, over the short time span your condition quickly went back up bit by bit, eventually making its way back to normal once again. And along with your condition, your mood went up as well. Since you weren't in any pain anymore it greatly helped you get back on your feet and become the little ball of chaos that Aizawa once knew you as.

The raven-haired man looked at you from where he sat on the couch with a warm cup of coffee in his hand- it having cooled down due to him taking only a sip or two every now and then- where you were gleefully coloring in one of your coloring books on the living room floor, quietly humming a little cheerful tune that you had picked up from one of the shows that you seen on TV, happily going along your day as if you were never sick to begin with.

Aizawa looked at you again before taking another sip from his now-lukewarm-coffee, glad that you were ok. He wasn't sure how you were able to get the stomach flu (you know kids, touching every surface they see then putting their hands in their mouth- not saying that that's you, but you get the idea), but he knew now that he'll definitely be a lot more careful when it came to your health from now on.

°°°°°°

A/N:

Thank you all so much for reading! This is my first time posting something on Tumblr, so please don't be afraid to tell me if you see any errors or just have some constructive criticism or feedback you'd like me to know (*´∇｀*)

年2022 / 月08 / 日22

*This is completely ok for anyone to repost or read outloud for a video (like the ones found on YouTube, because I like listening to those sometimes). But if you do, just please let me know beforehand!

[jaozendry]

"I'm better now, right?"

Pairing: Gar Logan x GN!Reader

Warnings: mentions of suicide attempts

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Summary: Gar finds you in the bathroom crying and tries to understand why. You decide to explain to him what happened last year: February 10th, 2022.

Author's note: trauma dumping dont mind me!!!! </3 ; the damian wayne fic part 3 is coming btw!!!!!!!!! <3

______________________________________________________________

Gar rushes to the bathroom after he hears you sob quietly, but also loudly at the same time. It's the first time he's seen you in this state, in the shower, no less. Here you are, sitting in the shower with hot water covering your teary eyes with Another Love by Tom Odell playing in the background.

Gar pauses your music and turns off the shower. He didn't care if you didn't clean yourself yet, that's the least of his worries: he wants you to be okay. He wraps a towel around you so you can feel comfortable.

"What happened?!" he asks in horror. "I heard you cry, I- are you okay?!"

He wipes away your tears and holds both of your hands. You sigh in sadness, asking yourself if you should tell him about... last year. February 10th, 2022. The first time you tried to kill yourself.

"I- uh..." It is clear that you can barely speak. Gar looks at you in the eyes with the patience of a literal saint.

"It's okay, take your time." he says, smiling faintly and his voice slightly breaking.

"It's about... you know... last year. February 10th 2022. You know what happened-"

Gar immediately stands up to check the date upon hearing those words. A horrored expression clouds his face when confirming that the date is indeed February 10th, 2023.

"It's been exactly a year." you declare, still sitting on the floor, a towel wrapped around your body.

Gar immediately rushes back to you, standing on his legs to be on your level and taking your face softly.

"Don't worry, Y/N. You're feeling better now, right? It's all in the past." he explains with half a smile on his face.

"I know, but like, I remember it like it was yesterday." you admit, tears welling up. "I remember every single thing I did. I was in the shower exactly a year ago, pills inside my desk drawer, thinking if I should do it. I should've talked to my sister, she was literally in the house! I should've talked to my parents, to anyone! I should've... I shouldn't have done this to them... to you!"

You break down in tears, holding your stomach while Gar hugs you.

"It's okay, calm down. Talk to me, let it out. You have the chance to right now." he comforts you, his eyes welling up tears as well. You take a deep breath before continuing your explanation.

"I literally remember the music I was listening to while waiting for the pills to work, what clothes I was wearing, the faces of the cops when they showed up, everything! The look on my mother's face when she saw me, the disappointment in my father's eyes, all of it is still in my head."

Gar holds your hands tightly to prevent you from losing control of yourself. He caresses your face and nods for you to continue.

"I remember every room I was in at the hospital. Everywhere I went that day, it's still in my mind. The worst is like... the mental hospital. I felt trapped, because I was! I remember everything that happened there, how many times I cried and at what time, thinking what would happen to me. I was thinking about my family, my friends, even my teachers and most of all... you. What would you think when you found out?! I'm just- I'm sorry."

Your green-haired boyfriend grabs your hips and finally lets the tears in his eyes drop while you quietly sob. He wipes away your tears once again before kissing you on the forehead.

"Look, when you did it, I was terrified... of losing you." he explains. "I didn't care how many days of school you missed, or how much homework you would have to catch up on. Your life is worth so much more... so please... don't throw it away. Let me help you. Please."

His voice starts breaking and his tears drop more and more. He finally breaks and hugs you to avoid worrying you. He kisses your cheeks repeatedly and holds your head.

However, you felt comfort when you heard those words. You didn't feel trapped and alone anymore. Someone was actually there for you. It felt like a fairytale. The both of you finally calm down enough for Gar to whisper this into your ear:

"You're stronger now. Don't let it go to your head, okay? I'm here."

[anotheroceanid]

Alright since I got confirmation I can send more plus points if Percy just knew everything like he knows Kronos thinks he's Rhea and casually ends the war by being like "hey as your wife I demand you stop this." And the main six either being hushed or babied during that time and demigods in the background wondering wtf is going on can you tell I'm sleep deprived

During the post-labyrinth events, Percy gets closer to Rachel, who takes him to some acting classes.

Percy thinks he’ll never use it, until he finds out that his secret forbidden boyfriend who’s fighting for the titan is kinda sharing the body with the Titan King himself.

So he decides to do it. He does some research, improve his Ancient Greek, picks up some ancient clothes, let his hair grow, dedicates all of himself to method acting. And arrives to the battle of manhattan looking EXACTLY like Rhea back when she was queen.

He throws an Oscar worthy performance, makes Kronos apologise for everything. Eating the kids. Trying to overthrow the kids. Letting the wet towel in the bed after every bath he takes. Inviting Atlas over to days when it was supposed to be romantic nights. Everything. Even about winning on UNO against Percy, once.

After this, Percy just nods to the Olympians, who are going through it thinking they just saw a ghost.

Percy also makes Kronos promise to never again let Typhon get near the kids. He’s such a bully! (Zeus, in the background: Tell him mom!)

[foxydivaxx]

Chronicles of King Nasty Chapter 3

This will mark the beginning of Heartsteel. You will also learn more about Ezreal.

Ezreal heaves a sigh of relief as he returns to his apartment. He bought himself a brand new apartment, a downgrade from the swanky villa he once lived in. He had cut off all contact with his parents and is now trying to start afresh. He had spent about 3 years in rehab and is now a lot better. Truth be told, he had been going in and out of rehab for the past couple years no thanks to the world triggering him in a variety of ways.

Yes, he is a recovering addict. But truth be told, his parents caused all this shit. You see, his old folks are a part of the industry. His father is a record label exec and his mother is a popstar so the talent is in him. Despite that, he was still a nepo baby that many loved to hate.

The moment his mother discovered his talent, she got in contact with his dad despite their estranged relationship. The two of them then hatched a plan to get Ezreal to debut as a popstar. The plan was simple; get Ezreal to train from a young age and when they felt he was mature enough, then he would debut. Just like his idol, he debuted at the age of 13 with a certain hit single that went platinum within weeks.

Using the momentum of that single, they began working on his debut album. What could possibly have gone wrong? A lot. Firstly, his parents were not that present in his life. Secondly mother dearest decided to not only be a bully but she was also a control freak and had sexually abused him on more than one occassion. Just like Sanji’s situation with his father. Thirdly, that single was not what Ezreal wanted. He wanted to do something as edgy as what Sanji would do but of course his parents vetoed that. Not helping was his toxic ex at the time.

Sure, thee song kind of grew on him. But still. Lastly, the album was a mess and did not reflect who Ezreal truly was a person. Rather it was a disjointed project. As if that wasn’t enough, Ezreal started developing a cocaine addiction at the time to cope with the pain and loneliness that he felt. To cover up, his mother thought it was a good idea to employ some random ghost singer with a similar voice as his to sing a lot of the tracks, living him dazed and confused when he heard the album.

Ezreal was renowed as a powerful dancer back then but the drug use caused him to a rather poor and sluggish performance, causing his parents to disown and boot him out of the company. He remembers that day vividly. The cameras flashing. Reporters screaming his namea nd throwing all sorts of questions at him. Around that same time, Sanji was going through his own nightmare experience that caused him to go into hiatus. Five years have passed since then. 

He is starting on a brand new leaf. Sett, his former labelmate who also got booted out on that exact same day has been keeping in touch with him. They became friends since that day. Right now, he was not in the mood to do anything. All he wants is to properly relax and chill. Good thing he was not in that villa otherwise the pain would have been more unbearable. 

He proceeds to go take a shower, playing one of Sanji’s songs in the background via his phone. 

Hush, just stop

There's nothing you can do or say, baby

I've had enough

I'm not your property as from today, baby

You might think that I won't make it on my own

But

Ezreal finds himself singing along to the song. He remembers this song because it so happens to be his favorite Sanji song. Rumour has it that this is a reference to his father and judging from what he read in the book so far, the song hits a lot more different.

Now I'm stronger than yesterday

Now it's nothing but my way

My loneliness ain't killing me no more

I, I'm stronger

He keeps on singing along, letting the music take control of him. Without realizing it, he even tries to do some dance moves whilst in the shower.Once he was out of the shower, he reaches for a towel and uses it to dry his hair whilst wrapping another one around his waist. 

Once he is comfortably settled down, he climbs intohis bed and lies down, reaching for the book again. He managed to get this apartment thanks to his dear Uncle who greatly disapproved of his parents’ actions. He is the reason he even decided to go to rehab in the first place.

“Now where was I?” He notices the page that he folded and starts from there.

I remember my audition for Popstars vividly. That day was a warm Thursday. Auditions were meant to begin by 11. I got there by 8 o’clock. Ichiji dropped me off and the rest of the family waited outside for me. 

I remembered being intimidated as there was a long ass queue. About 2000 kids auditioned for the show. I had butterflies in my tummy, constantly told myself that I did not stand a chance. Considering my previous lacklustre debut, it should not come as a surprise.

Ezreal knows the show in question as they continue to air re-reruns of it every year. Considering Aogiri’s success and legacy, that does not come as a surprise. Still, hearing him say that is quite funny and Ezreal then remembered those talent shows he was chaperoned to as a kid. He also felt nervous before every single performance so he could relate though Sanji’s case is more large-scale. We are talking live television here.

Either way, I was nervous and got in line and anxiously waited my turn. I did not register my name as Sanji Vinsmoke or Sanji Bernard which had been my legal name since my parents’ divorce. No. I simply wrote Sanji Griffins, Griffins being a reference to Zeff’s rockstar days. Yup. The old man used to be an ace rocker. Still is. Griffins was his stage name.

“So he did not use the names of his parents.” Pretty understandable, given his history. Last thing he would want is for his father to come harass him on set.

Whilst I was waiting in line, I saw a tall brunette guy in front of me wearing a simply blue jumper and a pair of jeans. That guy was my future bandmate Eren Jaeger. Eren was like 2 spots ahead of him. 

I did not think too much about it until the auditions began. They split everyone into groups and we were give dance choreography to learn quickly and we all had to do it on the spot. Imagine having to learn a dance routine within like an hour or 30 minutes and you then had to re-produce that exact dance move on the spot.

Eren and I were placed in the same group. I took the time to quietly observe him and man he was amazing. Those of you that dare to talk down on Eren, let me use this opportunity to give him his flowers.

That boy is a natural talent and has always been. Watching him dance the way he did that day inspired me to be the best that I could be. I was already taking dance classes since I was 3 so dancing came natural to me.

One easily forgets that Eren and Sanji started off on this show. It is great to see him acknowledge his bandmates here.

When it was my turn, I took in a deep breath. Never had I been this nervous in my life. Yet, I somehow managed to open my mouth and began to sing Purple Rain by Prince. Everyone’s jaws dropped once I began to sing. I was soon told that I had made the cut. I remember screaming with joy at this and hugging my family.

Eren came over to me and congratulated me thus beginning our friendship that still endures till this day.

“Great song choice and aww Eren is so sweet.”

The show’s concept was to create a super group out of all of us. Now none of us knew the amount of members that would make it into the group which alone gave all of us enough motivation to want to succeed.

We were trained every single week, day in day out for several hours non-stop. We were taught about singing, dancing, you name it. Every skill that was necessary to be a successful popstar was learned. Basically some sort of training bootcamp, similar to what k-pop idols do.

“Similar to my experience.” It is getting hilarious now just how similar he and Sanji are at this point.

As time went on, word soon gets out about my parents. That naturally got me some attention. The downside? I was looked down upon as a nepo baby who is untalented and only got in because of my looks, a typical notion that continues to follow me all the days of my life.

There are some things  that you cannot control and other people’s opinions of you is one of such things. Unfortunately, the criticism will worsen overtime as we progress with this book.

As the show progressed, I got quite a massive fanbase. I guess all that press did the trick. My performance skills began to manifest here much to the delight of everyone. My Sexy-Dol image showed up in here as I began to do some of erotic hip thrusts and crotch grabs during this time. My song choices were erotic as well.

 That caused a lot of controversy because I was still a minor then.Regardless everyone agreed that I was the best contestant overall. Now special note here kids: Do not let all that early praise get to your head. Why? You will understand why later in this chapter. Also a little controversy here and there does not hurt. So go for it. More on that part later.

“So this was where it all started huh?” He falls over laughing. No wonder his parents reacted the way they did. Sanji was good at what he did. “Might as well start taking notes now.” A lot of young boys wanted to be like Sanji because of his natural swag. Like the whole “I don’t give a fuck” attitude had a lot of appeal to it. Plus he had natural charisma.

Lelouch joined the show halfway, obviously as a ploy by the producers to shake things up. The poor guy was so lost and I do not blame him because why shoehorn a kid like that? He had so much catching up to do that it shocked the rest of us when he did not get eliminated earlier on.

Now don’t get me wrong. Lelouch is talented but at the same time, they put the guy through so much stress. Like the dude got bullied by some of the others backstage. Got so bad that Eren and I came to his defence on more than one occasion.

Ouch. Poor Lelouch. Now he understands why Lelouch often hid in the background. It took him a while to heal from that trauma.

Eventually the day came for the news we were all anticipating, the final lineup. There were ten of us left. The others that got eliminated either created groups of their own or went solo.

Since I was the top contestant with the highest grades, everyone expected me to be in the final group. Unfortunately, that is not often how life works. You guessed right. I got cut. And not just me. Light, Eren and Natsu hit the chopping block as well.

I remember how devastated we all felt that day. All four of us went to my crib, dazed and confused. It was at that moment that mother suggested that the four of us create a band of our own and go head to head with the winning team.

Ezreal remembered watching that scene. The producers fucked up. Clearly there was some form of cheating involved because Sanji had the highest marks and points of all contestants. Heck, some even thought he would go solo instead. Instead, it was those other kids that they gave it to.

Reading the part about the band made him pause. Wait….that’s it!! He grabs his phone and quickly dials up Sett’s number. 

“Yo Ez. Wassup?”

“I’m good. Remember when you asked me what my Plan B was?”

“Yeah. So what’s your plan?”

“Well……”

[beskarinhyperspace]

Can’t Change My Mind  

A challenge you feel worthy of pursuing  

AO3 | Wattpad // MASTERLIST

*Mature, Explicit, NSFW*

Din djarin x fem.reader

Summary: You already have a established romantic relationship with Djarin.   

Word Count:  1.6k 

A/N: This is pure smut, also my first here. Soo enjoy !

"You’re the one who told me I could go!” You say, not understanding why he’s mad.  

Looking at you to his left while passes you. “I swear, you’re gonna be the end of me. If I knew, I would’ve left earlier so you wouldn’t have been able to follow me.”  

“I thought we were a team!” Starting to be angry, staring with your eyebrows frowned.  

He stops in his movements, now looking at you. You always feel uneasy when he does that. Not really knowing what he’s thinking about or even what he’s going to do. 

“Cyare,  I can’t risk losing you again. Last time I swear, I..” He turns his gaze to the floor, lost for words as he revisits the last time you almost got killed. He got so angry, he shot both man on sight without blinking.   

Feeling a little guilty, you approach him slowly. “I’m sorry, I truly am.” Passing your fingers slowly on his chest you breathe in his neck. Talking gently and softly against his skin, “Is there a way I can redeem myself?” looking into his T visor with sultry eyes.  

His breathing stops as you can feel the tension rising in his chest. He tilts his head slightly to look at you. “Stop playing games. I’m not in the mood.” he says plainly.  

With an amused smile, your eyes going down to his chest. “Who says I'm playing?”  

He sighs as he moves away. “I'm going to get ready for sleep.. You should do the same, otherwise, you’ll be tired tomorrow when we arrive on coruscant.” On that, he climbs the ladder to inside cockpit.  

You left out a deep blow of air, pouting your lips out. Maybe I can convince him..  

__  

While he’s in the cockpit, you went into the fresher to take a quick shower. The soap getting thicker and creamier on your breast. And just like that you're turned on again. He can’t refuse me. I know he wants it just as badly as I do.  

Taking the towel to dry yourself up, you can hear him in the kitchen searching through the cabinets. A mischievous smile takes shape at the corner of your lips. Getting out quickly, you make sure not to make too much noise. Standing behind him, you press your chest against him. 

 “Are you naked?” He asks.  

“What if I am?” you respond with your playful voice.  

He turns around, “I told you to get ready for sleep. I’m still angry. You won’t change my mind. I'm not in the mood.” as he walks away to the fresher himself.  

You look at his back defeated throwing yourself in bed and landing on your back. You can hear the continuous water running in the background.  

Well, if it’s this way then..  

Passing your fingers lightly over the skin of your thighs. You close your eyes, feeling the need intensifying inside you. Passing them slowly on your hips and bellybutton, moving upwards. You caress the bottom of your breasts moving up the nipple which are already getting harder by touch and cold air coming from the ship. Your breathing stops ever so slightly, taking your other hand to pinch one of them.   

Your breathing starts to accelerate as you continue to take a hand upwards putting your index finger into your mouth, wetting it with your tongue going quickly downwards, you start to coat your clit with the slick of your fingers, turning them in circles over it.   

You’re so focused on your pleasure, you don’t even notice that the Mandalorian is out the fresher. Looking at you pleasuring yourself with one hand pinching your nipple and the other one moving on your clit.  

He stares without a noise, although seeing you whimper makes him growl, pressing a hand on his now harden cock.   

At the sound of him, you notice his presence opening your eyes to the ceiling as the room gets darker.  

Your blood starts to run cold, feeling you’re in trouble but he comes closer, hovering over you.  

“Playing without me cyar’ika?” He states starting to kiss your neck.  

Little whimpers are getting out of your chest, “I thought I couldn’t change your mind.”  

“I’m sorry cyare, I know I reacted a bit much. I just, I love you so much ner kar’ta.” Passing his tongue flat over your pulse point. “Let me make it up to you.”  

Moving slowly downwards he grabs one of your nipples with his mouth. Grunting low as he sucks and tries to put as much of it in his mouth. Grabbing and squeezing you other tit in the meantime.  

You can't help but push your chest forward, presenting yourself to him. The movement makes him feral. Taking both and squeezing them together. Passing his tongue over and over each of them. The lightning feeling rises in between your legs.   

He stops a moment, trying to catch his breath. “Omg cyare you’re so perfect. I'd eat these tits all..” Before humming while he goes back to suck on them one after the other. Switching between flickering and sucking them.  

“Urrgh maker, can I, can I feel you? Please I need to feel you baby.” begging you. 

“Yes, please, anything, anything you want.” You say voice breaking.  

Through the dark you can hear him let out a little chuckle. Letting your nipple slide out of his lips. He goes lower, leaving a trail of kisses on your body along the way. From under your breast, to your stomach, to your thigh.. You feel him take both of your legs, holding them up leaning down. Letting his tongue flat from your very rear, passing agonizing slow over your entrance and clit.   

You start to shake with anticipation as you feel the grin from his moustache over your skin.  

“You’re sounds are addicting love. Let me hear those moans while you say my name sweet girl.” Before going back to tease your entrance with his tongue.  

You can feel the burning in your stomach as he goes lower to press his tongue teasing over your asshole.   

“Djarin, please maker." You can’t control your breathing or your moans at this point.   

Which only encourages him to move it faster, altering between licking it with the tip of his tongue and spreading it flat over it.  

Your cries becomes louder and he can’t take it anymore. Pushing himself up spreading your knees. He takes a finger teasing your entrance.  

Feeling your juices on him, “Kriffing hell cyare, you’re so pretty, so perfect, so wet for me.” You can hear him touch himself with your wetness before passing the tip of his cock in between your folds. “Can you feel that baby? How hard you make me? How much control you have over me? Huh, can you feel that?” as he pushes the tip slowly in.   

Taking his time enjoying you, shaking under him. Moving closer to you, he anchors his arms on the sides of your head. Letting you adjust to his length and girth. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, I love you” as he goes down to your lips to kiss you gently. Pushing slowly in. You can feel the muscles of his chest and stomach contracting as he’s picking up the rhythm.  

You can’t stop the noise and words coming out of you. “I love you Djarin. You feel so good inside of me. You fill me up so well.”  

He kisses you stronger as he’s breathing harder, pushing his tongue deeper into your mouth. Tasting your sweet spit as he prepares himself for release.   

You cross your legs on his lower back, felling him hitting that good spot over and over again. He goes to put your right nipple in his mouth sucking on it and you can’t control it anymore, letting a whimpering cry.  

“That’s it, come for me cyare. Come for me, c’mon baby.” He says has his other hand grabs a hold of your hip.  

You can hear his noises of satisfaction as he hears you come undone for him. Releasing your breast moving to squeeze the other one as he thrust harder inside of you. He feels you tightening around him from the pleasure. He moves to grab both of your legs as he continues to pound into you. Letting out a full grunting scream out as comes inside you. Trying to calm himself down, he comes to lay on your side, putting his arms around you.  

“Maker, I love you so much. Please forgive me for earlier. I just want to keep you safe.” asking you in between breaths. 

You smile to him in the dark, placing a single kiss on his chin. “You’re already forgiven.”   

As you’re holding each other, you tell yourself that there’s nothing better in the galaxy than this right now. 

[tomwambsgans]

this tweet but it's tomgreg

and i mean this both in the comical mental image of precisely what the tweet describes and ALSO in full seriousness.... like picture it. the imagery alone. it's s4 and tom and greg are working at gojo. tom and greg in their new fancy office, engaging in an ancient-looking meal, the sheer simultaneous simplicity and decadence contrasting with the corporate background. the way the figs would symbolize their new abundance both in the financial sense and the subtextual, hopeful, fertile sense. the honey evoking the notions that were made when tom was told "maybe you should swallow something. like honey" but rather than shame being attached to it, now, it's indulgence instead. hell, throw in another ortolan too. no towels this time. ramp up the nbc hannibal parallels. a roman emperor lunch like this is EXACTLY what tomgreg is logically leading up to and honestly i'm making this called shot on my s4 bingo

[just-a-normal-regretter]

omg i would love to hear more about the Bystander “Odd-shot” AU! Would Yumi just be more a background character like Sissi or would she eventually make her way to the gang? And how would that affect William eventually joining the gang (if he ever did)? Also love that there would be some extra Odd/Ulrich scenes! Anything specific planned for those two?

Awww thank you for being my first ask haha ;-; (other people can ask away too I'm not gonna be bothered about it and I'll try to write back when I can lmao)

Recapping Bystander = "Kiwi isn't brought to Kadic AU"

I'm gonna use the "keep reading" so I don't flood people's dashes given I chat away a Lot at the basics. The way I see the background for "Bystander" developing is that:

Given no Kiwi, it's Odd annoying Ulrich that quickly reminds him of his promise to check on Jeremie later that day. Hence this is how he winds up finding Jeremie getting attacked by XANA and thus his involvement with this whole conflict begins.

Without a "guinea pig" to think of, Ulrich begrudgingly offers to test run the scanners. He never goes back to the dorms that night.

Yumi would still wind up with the gang given Jim hosting the Pencak Silat club. It still winds up letting Ulrich and Yumi interact more, and hence when the XANA attack of the day occurs again she still heads to Lyoko to help stop the AI for that day.

Sissi is an interesting case in this AU. Clearly she wouldn't find out about the supercomputer given Ulrich didn't go back to the dorms. Honestly I think her friction with the gang doesn't happen on the same level as canon. She'd still be jealous of Yumi hanging around Ulrich but there's no active reason for her to spitefully get the gang in trouble whenever they're mean to her because there's no general quarrel to begin with.

I think Ulrich and Sissi would still be friends rather than the group just using her -> her either forgetting about it thanks to a RTTP or it gets brushed off like canon usually does.

Odd's role in this story given he's not involved with fighting XANA would be more of a confidant for Ulrich. Ulrich has to put up with his new roommate. So it'll take a bit longer for them to bond compared to canon forcing their hand so they can be a decent team.

I think it'd be beginning of Season 2 where the gang throw in the towel and realize they need another member. William still is on the table given his new status and the fact that he's still, at the end of the day, very helpful. Odd is also brought up as a candidate due to convenience + longevity at the school.

Odd has grown on Ulrich throughout Season 1. Ulrich and Yumi have also went through their mini-arc re: their relationship in the S1 mesh. Ulrich came to terms with having feeling for Odd, although he's a bit conflicted given that Odd is a good friend + he's basically the one dragging him back down to reality instead of worrying about XANA and the supercomputer all the time.

Ulrich doesn't want to involve Odd because he doesn't want to let this normalcy go. He's the one to prevent Odd from getting on the team in S2, while William is given the "OK" given Yumi hasn't gotten to see the shenanigans/behavior William can exhibit in the small amount of time getting to know him.

Honestly interesting to think about how William grows in this AU without Ulrich/Yumi dragging him into a love triangle.

Thinking about the Odd/Ulrich ship in this AU is neat because it's Ulrich getting to hang out with someone that isn't involved in this mess. It's not just "ah shit school + XANA 24/7". Sure, Odd is annoying and it takes time for the boy to grow on Ulrich but I imagine having a unknowing confidant lets them still bond faster than the average roommates.

Moments like asking Odd for help getting Jeremie in trouble (Holiday in the Fog), stealing some phones back (Satellite), general soccer/football activity (Claustrophobia; Zero Gravity Zone) would be some soft moments for Ulrich. He's even scared half to death when hearing from Yumi that Odd went back into the building to save Milly and Tamiya (Just in Time). I'm not gonna prattle much on Amnesia/Killer Music either but those premises would likely go off here lmao (Amnesia especially since it'd lend credence to Odd's side of the ship a lot more in particular)

I think Routine would be the most interesting episode to use as a baseline in this AU. I wonder if Emily would even be involved again, or would it just be Ulrich goofing off with Odd and getting friction from Yumi because she's jealous that he's able to hang out with his peers.

I imagine being Lyoko Warriors having to worry about XANA all the time gets a little lonely. Not being able to tell anyone about this secret, struggling to remember what exactly has been said before that a RTTP has stripped away. Yumi can't exactly have a stable bond with her family at times, and Ulrich/Jeremie/Aelita aren't in her class either. Must be pretty lonely and honestly I would get why she'd be a bit peeved that Ulrich wanted to change the routine so bad which would leave her alone (as Jeremie is gonna be heavily focused on freeing Aelita so their troubles with the supercomputer are over).

Right speaking on Aelita. To wrap this up given this is so long haha, I'd like to imagine it's the combined efforts of Ulrich and Jeremie that convince Odd to play off Aelita as a cousin to the school. A well-intended lie and all that.

Once again thanks for the ask kind stranger!

[nuclearwazteeater]

Chapter 1 starts slow so I apologize. I promise it gets better I just felt the need to include chapter 1 for background and etc- ALSO DON'T QUESTION SOME OF MY LOGIC.. BC IDK EITHER 😔 (I'm an amateur and this is my first fanfic so constructive criticism is welcome :D <3 )

(Inside Gammy's house. 1 pm)

Creed had been sitting on the couch, reading over his college application when Cairo had walked into the trailer with a goofy grin plastered on his face. Cairo then shoved a paper into Creed's face, obstructing his view of his application. It was a slightly crumpled poster that was covered in vibrant colors and bold letters announcing that Johnny Cage would be doing a fan meet in Los Angeles, California, on December 18th from 3 to 5pm.

Creed's face immediately lit up with excitement as Cairo took the paper back. Cairo nodded his head to his life long best friend, signaling that they'd be attending. They'd both been fans of the actor for nearly a year now. They'd watched nearly all his movies and shows, even ones he was barely in.

"Holy shit!" Creed exclaimed with a smile, throwing his computer to the side. He then sat up and put his hands in the air. Creed was smiling so hard that Cairo was convinced his face hurt.

"Yeah, man! I got us bus passes! If we leave today we can get there the day of." Cairo explained, his voice full of delight. He had planned this whole thing out once he saw this poster at work. One of his coworkers had been bragging about their cousin working for a company that hosted fan meets for celebrities in Cali. Cairo knew then and there that this was something he and Creed needed to attend.

Creed didn't need to be told twice, he immediately started packing. The 19-year-old sprinted towards the hallway closet and jerked his suitcase out. Cairo decided to stay back and make them some food for the road.

Creed bolted down the hallway and towards his grandmother's room with his bag in tow. He knew for a fact she'd be doing laundry while watching Judge Judy right about now. He slung the door open and immediately started grabbing articles of clothing and then shoving them into his suitcase.

"Gammy! I'm going to see Johnny Cage!" Creed exclaimed as he attempted to cram as many clothes into his bag as humanly possible. He didn't even care about what he put in there, as long as he wasn't naked he'd be fine. Gammy, however, looked utterly clueless. She couldn't comprehend why her grandson/godson was so frantic.

As Gammy glanced up from the TV, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Johnny Cage?" she asked, her voice full of curiosity.

Creed paused, his shirt halfway stuffed into his overflowing suitcase. "He's the martial artist-movie star guy that I like, you remember? He's doing a fan meet in Cali, and we're going to go see him!"

Gammy's expression softened as she watched her grandson's excitement. She definitely didn't understand the allure of Johnny Cage, but she understood that he was important to both Creed and Cairo.

"Well, remember that people ain't always as they seem... but have fun, baby." she said softly, a smile resting on her lips.

Creed smiled back at his grandmother's response and zipped up his suitcase before kissing her on the cheek as a goodbye. Creed then dashed to the kitchen where he knew Cairo was.

Cairo stood near the counter, wrapping sandwiches up in a paper towel. Assumably a snack for the long bus rides they would need to take. Cairo licked his fingertips clean of grape jelly and turned to his best friend.

"I got one PB, one J, and one PB&J." Cairo announced, now putting the sandwiches into his book bag. Creed nodded his head, now trying to shove his wallet and toothbrush into his pants pocket.

"I'm so fucking pumped, dude." Creed muttered as he kept hurriedly packing items into his cargo pants. He had so much filling his pockets that his pants started to sag horribly from the weight.

Cairo chuckled, watching Creed struggle with his overloaded pockets. "Jesus, you packed everything but the kitchen sink, dude." he teased, zipping up his backpack with ease. Creed grunted in reply, finally managing to squeeze everything into his pockets.

They grabbed their bags along with their skateboard, which they called Tony Hawk, and exited the trailer. They both walked down the trailer park driveway and towards the road. The boys began to skateboard down the road, Cairo being the one guiding their movements and pushing them while Creed held onto him. This had been their means of transportation since they had turned 12.

Once they got behind a pickup truck, Cairo grabbed the bumper. As they coasted, the cold wind blowing through their hair, Creed couldn't help but let out a loud 'woooh' of excitement. Cairo grinned, feeling the rush of adrenaline and excitement coursing through his veins. They zipped past empty fields that were once full of wheat and tobacco. Creed looked over at their shadows as they darted over the landscape.

Suddenly, the pickup truck slowed to a stop at a crossroad in town, leaving Cairo and Creed to navigate their way to the bus stop. Cairo glanced at Creed with a glint in his eye. "You ready for this?" he asked, despite already knowing the answer.

Creed flashed a grin, his eyes lighting up. "Totally, dude." he replied instantly, his voice full of confidence. It was something they'd done thousands of times, but that didn't make it any less exhilarating.

Cairo then pushed off the bumper and swerved into the road, executing a few twists and turns as they weaved between the oncoming traffic. The drivers honked their horns in shock and quickly hit the brakes. The boys seemed to ignore it though, their focus was on getting to the bus stop and eventually, Johnny Cage's fan meet.

As they emerged from the small intersection without injury, their laughter echoed through the air. Honks and swears filled the distance, the drivers were beyond pissed at the two 19-year-olds. It wasn't uncommon for them to do this which caused them to be seen as nuisances in their small town.

They eventually arrived at the bus stop and slowly came to a halt. Cairo picked up their shared skateboard and carried it to the seats. It took 30 minutes for a bus to finally pull up.

The driver opened the door then looked the two boys up and down. His eyes focused on their clothes and faces. They skimmed over Creed's camo shirt, ripped-up black cargos, and dirty converses then his eyes slowly drifted over to Cairo. He squinted at Cairo's 'no dolphins' shirt before scoffing at how Cairo's pants lightly sagged to show his bright pink and yellow boxers.

The boys shared a look of confusion, but they shrugged at the man's stare. They grabbed their bags and got on the bus, mentally preparing themselves for the long journey ahead of them.

[debunkingtherightwing]

Jordan Peterson throws a massive temper tantrum over having to take social media training.

The thirteenth rule for life is throwing a tantrum on the internet when you don't get your way. (Source: The Jordan Peterson Podcast on Daily Wire)

Well, Jordan Peterson has decided to grace the world with a forty minute video about how oppressed he is because he's been ordered to take social media training and since apparently I'm secretly a masochist I decided to watch it.

In case you haven't heard of this story, The Ontario Court of Appeals recently rejected Jordan Petersons appeal regarding the Ontario College Of Psychologists ordering him to take social media training. Since Jordan is a well documented oppositionally defiant asshole who throws shitfits over stickers on paper towel dispensers, this hasn't gone over well.

Since I know a lot of people are whining on Jordan's behalf that his free speech is being taken away, I'd like to get that argument out of the way before we even start. Jordan Peterson has a right to his free speech but that doesn't mean that he's free from the consequences of said speech. Jordan's license is a privilege and the Ontario College Of Psychologists has every right to take that privilege away if they feel like Jordan's behavior has violated their professional standards. Think of it like taking a toy away from a six year old child for throwing a tantrum. That kid threw a tantrum and that was their right, but that action had a consequence. Jordan Peterson chose to be a conservative media grifter and that action had a consequence.

Jordan Peterson is fascinating to me because it's shocking how somebody so discredited still has so much of a following. Jordan Petersons arguments have been proven to be total bullshit time and time again yet people still take him seriously. Some More News did an excellent (and very short) breakdown of Jordan's arguments if you want to look into them further.

I myself intend to cover more Jordan Peterson at some point so watch this space.

Anyway, Jordan and his daughter want you to know that they are very oppressed. Lets get into it.

00:11, Mikhaila Peterson: "This might not be the most fun conversation but I thought before we delve into how awful this, I thought I could just read a brief background I wrote about what's been going on so people are caught up to speed. Is that OK?"

Jordan Peterson: "Yep."

Mikhaila Peterson: "The gist of it is, it looks like your license is getting taken away."

Or you could grow up and do the training.

One thing I truly don't understand about this is why does Jordan care so much if his license is taken away?! He's not a professor anymore and he isn't even a practicing psychologist anymore. He smelled the conservative grift money and went there.

If his fans have still stuck with Jordan through the absolute embarrassment that has been his career, they aren't gonna care if his license is taken away.

Mikhaila briefly recaps her fathers battle with the Ontario College of Psychologists.

03:28, Mikhaila Peterson: "So, are you OK?"

Jordan Peterson: "It's tiring, you know. I'm preparing for this tour, I have a--I'm finishing two books, they're very complicated, they take pretty much all my attention and having to fight this war, well it's tiring. I have to plot, strategize, write, watch my tongue, consider my next best move, and I also have to face the dismal reality that, as I wrote in the National Post, in some real fundamental sense Canada's Charter of Rights isn't worth the papers it's printed on."

Again, this isn't a charter issue. The profession of psychology in Ontario is self-regulated and follows the Standards Of Professional Conduct which Jordan violated multiple times. Jordan wants to have his cake (being able to say inflammatory stuff on the internet) and eat it too (face no consequences from the Ontario College of Psychologists).

This oppression and woe is me B.S that Jordan is pulling here is also deeply vomit inducing. Jordan has an estimated net worth of $10 million and a job with a media platform that pays him massive amounts of money to say literally anything he wants without consequences (at least from them). Jordan Peterson isn't this oppressed victim, he's a petulant child whining about being forced to face the consequences of his actions.

04:54, Jordan Peterson: "The tweets that I really got criticized for, particularly the one regarding Paige or--Paige or however he or she wants to be referred to. I also regarded that as a professional obligation because I think it's incumbent on psychologists with an ounce of integrity point out the danger of having self-deluded, narcissistic, self-destructive, celebrities parade their proclivity to self-sterilize and self-mutilate as a public good on their public forums."

The portrayal of being transgender as a "proclivity to self-sterilize and self-mutilate" is poorly informed and overly verbose bigoted drivel.

What happened with Elliot Page was that Jordan was being a transphobic dick and deadnaming him while also saying that he "got his breasts removed by a criminal physician." It was completely unnecessary behavior and if Jordan characterizes this as him practicing psychology he should get his license removed immediately because no psychologist in their right mind would behave in this fashion.

I am shocked at the absolute gall that Jordan has to portray a trollish and sophomoric tweet designed to provoke a negative reaction as his duty as a psychologist. You want to talk about narcissism? This is it right here.

05:37, Jordan Peterson: "So, I don't regret any of that and I certainly-- you know me Mikhaila, I can feel guilty at the drop of a hat, it's actually one of my outstanding features."

Jordan, who is accusing all transgender people of being narcissists, ranting about his "outstanding features".

05:58, Jordan Peterson: "This is so ridiculous. I mean, the fact that the college accepted a complaint that was the entire transcript of my 3 hour discussion with Joe Rogan pretty much says it all."

Absolutely no idea if this is true or not because there's no way to verify it and Jordan isn't a reliable source at all. I could find no record of that complaint but since Jordan would know about complaints against him more than I would I'll give this one a "maybe" instead of an "outright lie". If Jordan is willing to provide evidence of this complaint, I will gladly accept it in the name of fairness.

But since Jordan opened the door, lets talk about his appearance on Rogan. A part of me wants to do a full debunk on this at some point (let me know if you'd like to see that) but I figured we could go over the finer points.

First of all, Jordan introduced himself as a psychologist when the show started. The reason that this is important is that he brought his profession into the interview so all of his comments on the show were made as a representative of the profession. The Ontario College absolutely has a right to scrutinize his statements he made, as a psychologist representing their profession, on the show.

Jordan made multiple extremely inflammatory comments on the Joe Rogan Experience. He declared that there's "no such thing as climate" despite not having any expertise on the subject as well as declaring that certain people "aren't black".

Naturally, this was a complete embarrassment for the psychological community and if his Rogan appearance contributed to the courts decision, I can see why.

06:11, Jordan Peterson: "And by the way, on the climate front, just that everyone is crystal clear on this. I think the climate models that are used to justify the encroaching tyranny planned are 100 percent untrustworthy."

Note how Jordan doesn't have any evidence for this. Like fellow Daily Wire grifter Matt Walsh, most of Jordan's arguments boil down to "because I said so". Why is science fake? Because Jordan said so and something about WEF conspiracies. Jordan has no evidence for what he's saying besides his feelings.

06:26, Jordan Peterson: "And I think that the notion that we should let people terrify us to death with notions of an impending climate apocalypse so that we have to be locked down in every possible manner. Give up our automobiles, give up our flights private or otherwise, give up our right to buy clothing, give up our right to eat, give up our right to keep grandma warm or cool in the summer lets say. It's like, no. Sorry. No, wrong in every possible way."

Who is saying that we give up all of these things? Sure, we are making changes but notice how none of that stuff has been banned nor has anybody suggested that we ban any of it.

Lets us the example of flights that Jordan brought up. Lets say that "they" tried to ban flights. There's absolutely no way that the airline industry would let that fly, pun intended. In 2023 alone the airline industry sunk $26.11 million dollars into lobbying. This is concerning for multiple reasons that I'm not going to get into, at least not in this episode, but it displays a trend of the airlines having considerable sway in American politics.

Some of these make even less sense. "The right to eat?" What does that even mean? Is he talking about limiting beef consumption? Because that's different than just flat-out eating. The right to keep grandma warm or cool? Again, hard to know what he's talking about since nobody has banned heating in buildings.

07:18, Jordan Peterson: "And, you know, you ask me how I'm doing. It's like, this didn't really come as a surprise so I'd already prepared for it."

Oh yeah, I forgot that this is all a response to what is basically "how are you?" This has been a four minute answer to "how are you?" and he's still going.

Is this how he responds to every question?

"Hey Jordan, can you please pass the salad?"

"THE WOKE MOB IS AFTER ME AND CLIMATE ISN'T REAL!!!!"

07:34, Jordan Peterson: "To some degree, we're gonna see what good we can make arise from this. And if this my opportunity to expose the machinations of the radical-left narcissistic resentful woke mob then bring it on boys."

Here's the thing about Jordan Peterson, he is basically a walking talking point. He just threw out every single right-wing talking point against the left onto the table and sat back as if he said something profound.

Isn't this guy supposed to be the rights intellectual powerhouse or something? I mean, I will admit that this is the only full Jordan Peterson produced video I have watched so maybe I caught him on a bad day, but so far I'm not seeing it at all.

07:55, Jordan Peterson: "We saw what happened to Claudine Gay, we saw what happened to UPenn. If the good people at the Ontario College of Psychologists think they're immune to such things, they have another thing coming."

"You were mean to me so I'm gonna get my big strong friends to go after you. How does that sound, huh?!" What is Jordan? 7?!

The ironic thing is that Jordan is doing exactly what he just accused the left of doing. He's essentially threatened to send the right-wing mob after the governing body of the Ontario College of Psychologists because they're telling him that he's not allowed to have his license while also being an idiot on the internet. Yet apparently we are the mob. Hard to reconcile with that.

08:20, Jordan Peterson: "Now they are definitely planning to do that because the rule is I have to be educated by people of their choice, at my expense, for whatever length of time they deem suitable until, by their standards I've learned whatever the hell lesson I'm supposed to learn. I can't even imagine what that lesson would be. It's like, don't tweet, don't speak, don't think, don't tell my clients the truth."

I love how Jordan can't even comprehend not being an asshole on the internet. For him, tweeting and speaking are intertwined with being a bigoted moron.

Also, he hasn't had "clients" for years. Unless he considers everybody who follows him on Twitter and watches his show to be a client. Am I a client now because I watched this?

09:04, Jordan Peterson: "So I'm set up for failure and my detractors will say 'Well, Dr Peterson you set yourself up for failure.' You know, whatever. But um-"

Mikhaila Peterson: "Those are the beetles I was referring to" (Mikhaila made a joke early in the episode that Jordan's detractors have the IQ of a beetle)

I prefer scarab myself.

09:28, Jordan Peterson: "You know, so much of it's preposterous. One of the things I asked the college, they never answered, I asked them forty questions in a letter of this level of impossibility. So one of them was 'So, you go out about a dozen of complaints, maybe they go out to like seventeen complaints and decided to proceed to thirteen, something like that, from people from all over the world detailing my crimes as we discussed.' Many of those complainants claimed falsely in writing to be clients of mine by the way, which didn't invalidate their opinions. None of them, just to be clear about this, none of them were clients of mine or knew clients of mine or were anyone I commented about on Twitter or knew anyone I commented about on Twitter, so we wanna be clear about that."

I can see why this was an impossible question that the College couldn't answer. You know why? Because it wasn't a question! It was just Jordan rambling for one minute.

Also, lets zero in on Jordans definition of what a client is because it is deeply confusing. Just two minutes ago, Jordan was saying that he was telling his clients the truth by posting on Twitter. So are his clients only people on Twitter who like what he has to say? I guess I'm not a client after all. Shame.

Just a reminder that we're still on "how are you?"

10:35, Jordan Peterson: "What's the consequence of losing my license? Well it's annoying because those are hard licenses to get and I worked very hard to earn and deserve that license and to maintain it."

I love how his main argument is basically "this annoys me and I still waaaannnnnttt iiitttt."

Jordan Peterson, again the intellectual powerhouse of the Conservative Movement, is acting like a child who thinks he has a right to act like an asshole and have the entire world bend over backwards to serve him. Next thing you know he's gonna threaten to hold his breath until the Ontario College Of Psychologists tells him he doesn't have to take the social media training.

10:47, Jordan Peterson: "And also very hard at being a good therapist, which I was. There were no complaints taken against me by anyone until I became known in the public sphere, so that's a good thing to consider."

This is ridiculous. So because there were no complaints taken against Jordan during his time as a therapist years and years ago, we are just supposed to ignore everything he's done since then?

That's like saying "Oh, I know I have a degree in law, haven't practiced law in years, and have made a name for myself by making disgusting statements about minorities. But you shouldn't take away my license to practice law because none of my clients lodged complaints against me when I was working as a lawyer."

11:20, Jordan Peterson: "At some point I'm going to determine that being a member of their pathetic little, incestuous, ideologically addled, resentment ridden, bureaucratic, micro-souled club, is not worth the effort."

Translation: "Oh yeah? Well I didn't want to be in your stupid club anyway!"

Seriously, when people tell me that Jordan Peterson is this intellectual powerhouse are they talking about the same guy? Am I being punked or something?!

12:14, Jordan Peterson: "When you bring them your 13 year old daughter who's in major distress. Who is so concerned about her body that she's thinking about sterilizing herself and having her breasts removed and your psychologist isn't gonna be able to do anything except lie to you that it's alright. How's that gonna go for ya?"

13 year old girls aren't given surgeries and puberty blockers are FDA approved medications that are completely reversible, far from sterilization. These puberty blockers have been shown to reduce suicidal ideation in the youth who receive them. It's pretty disgraceful that Jordan, a psychologist, is either unaware or willfully ignorant of these facts.

13:08, Jordan Peterson: "We'll play out this farce to it's end and I'll do that in the faith that if I conduct myself with a certain degree of honor and care that the results won't be precisely what my would be enemies would intend."

Honor and care = throwing a hissy fit on the internet apparently.

13:27, Mikhaila Peterson: "Yeah, this is worse--luckily you're in a position where this isn't gonna crush you but if this happened to somebody who didn't have multiple streams of income, what would they do? They'd just be re-educated and lie I suppose. Or quit."

I guess we are done with "how are you" now. I almost forgot that this video was built on the pretense of Mikhaila "interviewing" Jordan.

The thing about this argument that I've heard from Jordan and his ilk time and time again is that it ignores the massive scale difference between Jordan and your average psychologist.

Jordan has a massive platform and as a result his opinions are amplified. Considering the fact that he refers to himself as a psychologist, those views as a result become representative of the psychological community. Keep in mind that Jordan is operating in a profession dedicated to mental health, naturally having a psychologist running around sprouting harmful misinformation about transgender people (among other things) reflects poorly on the profession. Your average psychologist doesn't have that platform and, more rudimentarily, doesn't share Jordan's disgusting and oft bizarre views. Jordan Peterson isn't like you or me, he's a millionaire who has made millions by being a conservative media grifter and is now facing the consequences of his actions.

And do you think Jordan Peterson cares about the free speech of transgender people? Women? Hell no he doesn't! It would be a mistake to get roped in by his free speech warrior schtick because those are rules for thee and not for me.

14:26, Jordan Peterson: "Amy Hamm, the nurse in British Columbia, they've tortured her to death and she was very afraid of them and she's come out swinging again. So, you know, she's got some spine, that girl."

I had never heard of this "Amy Hamm" person before. Jordan later says that she "got in trouble for insisting that there's a biological difference between men and women" which automatically got that transphobe alarm ringing. So, who is Amy Hamm and what happened?

Amy Hamm is a nurse in British Columbia who got into hot water for making bigoted comments on social media about transgender people. Some of these lovely statements include "we have eyeballs and we will continue to use them to misgender you." and that "trans women are men". Essentially, she's a bigoted troll attempting to gain attention by targeting a vulnerable minority group. Also, tortured her to death is so ridiculously melodramatic.

Outside of the fact that it's a profitable and trendy thing to go after in the griftosphere, I don't get why these people care so much about transgender people. They just want to live their lives like you and me and aren't hurting anybody. What's going on with the right and trans people is pure unabridged bigotry.

Jordan rambles a bit more and it's more of the same stuff he said previously. It's not great but that's why we have the time skip. He complains a little about the CBC and I have already delved a little into that when I first checked in on Ezra Levant.

19:19, Jordan Peterson: "I don't have anything to lose. The worst they can do, and this is what they'll do, is they'll take my license and then I'll be known by those who wish to foster enmity against me as now disgraced psychologist Jordan Peterson."

Oh, trust me, Jordan isn't just now disgraced. He got there when he became addicted to benzos (which by the way is another reason why he arguably shouldn't have a license) and then proceeded to go to Russia to do an extremely medically dubious treatment in order to overcome his addiction.

Also, this video really flies in the face of a lot of Jordan's rules for life. In this video he hasn't taken responsibility for his actions (rule #4 in Twelve More Rules For Life) and he has absolutely gone down the road of arrogance and resentment (rule #11 in Twelve More Rules For Life). Rules for thee, not for me.

19:59, Jordan Peterson: "There's a reason that people 11 million copies of my book. The reason they bought 11 million copies of 12 Rules For Life was that they found it helpful, like psychologically helpful, which was it's purpose."

I normally wouldn't include this kind of quote but I feel like I need to address the fact that Jordan probably has made a positive impact on some peoples lives.

If you are reading this and Jordan Peterson has made a positive impact on your life, I am not here to discredit you or call you a bigot or any of that, as a matter of fact I am happy that you managed to turn your life around for the better and I wish you the best going forward. What you've got to understand though is that there are far better sources of the same common sense advice that Jordan touts in his books and lectures. Jordan has ideas around females and LGBTQ+ people that are genuinely harmful and will only serve to harm you if you embrace them. If you still need Jordan Peterson, go ahead and continue to watch his lectures and whatnot but heed my warning. The alt-right pipeline is a genuinely dangerous thing that I am trying to combat on this blog and Jordan is an easy way to enter it. Tread carefully and please do your own research.

Jordan talks about how he's going to stay in Canada and then an ad is inserted into the middle of the video. Not by YouTube mind you, by the Daily Wire. Ben's still gotta get his cash out of this! There's not really any content in this video at all. It's just Jordan switching between complaining and gloating.

26:20, Jordan Peterson: "I don't have a university, but I'm building one. That's kind of interesting"

OK, so what he's talking about here is Peterson Academy. It seems like it's essentially PragerU only more expensive.

31:01, Jordan Peterson: "When reality comes knocking, you're a fool if you turn away regardless of what it is. And it's the same thing now, this looks like bad news and it's certainly bad news for other professionals and I think Canadian professionals who aren't woke themselves and don't have their heads in the sand and their nether regions fully exposed for exploitation, lets say!"

Gotta sneak the transphobia in. So, I guess Jordan Peterson doesn't like trans people having jobs, shocker.

You are entitled to your opinions but you aren't entitled to be a divisive troll about them on social media because your employer might see that. We've lived in that reality for years and I find it absolutely bizarre that conservatives seem to be just figuring this out now.

33:47, Jordan Peterson: "I have some of the abilities of Cassandra. Cassandra was a seer who was fated to be entirely accurate in her predictions, her torture was that no one ever listened to her. So I don't have that problem because people do listen to me but I do have some ability to see down the road to where things are going."

"Yeah, I'm like Cassandra but BETTER. By the way, don't be arrogant."

I feel like that's a fitting end for this episode. Nothing particularly interesting happens in the last couple minutes. Just more of Jordan and Mikhaila rambling about politics and how the "woke moralists" are coming to get you.

Conclusion:

Well, I started writing this before the border stuff exploded so that's next on the chopping block, but seeing Jordan Peterson throwing a shit fit on the internet is certainly a nice break from the more serious topics covered here, at least hopefully for you guys.

Cheers and I'll see you in the next one.

[tngrace]

Kevin's Daycare

Kevin ends up on dad and babysitting duty to help his creators block. Short lil blurb the wifeys helped inspire! 🏷: @bayisdying @mrsjaderogers @ladylanera @semperhuggs

Kevin was still scratching his head on how he ended up with nine kids at once. Grace had called two weeks ago saying that there was a Navy event they had to attend at Pensacola, but none of them knew what they were going to do with the kids. Despite Pensacola being a little over five hours from him, they worked out a plan for Kevin to babysit for everybody since he'd have his girls at the same time to help out.

He'd met them at the airport, leaving his girls at his house. Grace rented a van just to help get the kids to his house; Kev took three of them and Grace took the three others. Bradley, Jake, Alana, Baylie and Mickey were just going to wait at the airport for their next flight. Luckily Kev didn't live far and they were able to get everybody inside with his girls before Grace had to head right back. It was utter chaos for the fifteen minutes Grace helped him get everything in and left, but thankfully there weren't any tears.

He'd asked them when they planned this, if it would be fine if the kids ended up on some of his videos because he still needed to do some work while keeping them; plus he'd been having creators block lately, and he was almost positive the kids would help. The three couples had all agreed, but also thought he was hilarious that he thought he'd get anything done with all the kids around. Of course Mitchell and Sam were all for helping Kev in the shop. Hadley loved taking in the huge space and all the new things she could discover, the twins following along with her when Marcus wasn't trying to help Kevin too. Caroline was content to sit back and watch for the moment, Ava bringing a book over to read to her. Olivia had curled up in Caroline's lap just watching the chaos unfold around her. Cara, bless her, was trying to help Kev wrangle all the kids to keep them from getting hurt.

The video was going to be highly entertaining; Kev trying to explain things he was doing, with his two little helpers, while in the background it was pure chaos and every few minutes, Kev was taking tools and directing the four year olds in other directions. Sam was helping Mitchell twist a bolt on the car, giggling when she noticed he had some grease on his forehead. "Me do it Sam!"

"You did buddy," she smiles. She helps him down to go try and clean his face off while Kev is off, collecting tools from Hadley and the twins.

"But Uncle Kev! I could use that," Hadley pouted as he took the wrench she almost took Nathaniel out with.

"I'm sure you could Hads. But not for hitting the twins," he laughed as he scooped her up. He blew a raspberry on her cheek to make her giggle as Cara steered the twins away from the motorcycle in the corner.

They'd been at it an hour, when Kev decided to throw in the white flag. His video ended up more of the kids and all their shenanigans instead of actually working on his car. "Who wants to go to the park?!"

The four year olds are excited for it, but Mitchell pouts and tears up because he'd been having fun in the shop. "We'll take some cars to the park I promise."

"Dad can we have a snack?!"

Kevin can't help but chuckle as they get all the kids back in the house. "Yes Ava get enough to share."

"Are you sure about this dad?" Cara asks.

"Not one bit kiddo," he laughs. He heads to the kitchen and helps Ava get snacks out for everybody. While the kids are eating, he packs several bags with towels, sunscreen, and toys. He packs a cooler as well with plenty of drinks and snacks. Luckily the park is within walking distance of his house. Once he has all the bags and backpacks packed, he puts Mitchell and Olivia in a double stroller. Hadley is content with a piggy back ride, and each of his girls takes one of the other three's hands.

The kids run wild and have a blast at the park. Kevin sets up under a tree to keep watch and orders pizza for lunch. The kids devour the pizza when he finally wrangles them onto the towels and settles down. Liv curls up in his lap after eating and promptly falls asleep. Mitchell is wearing down as well trying to keep up with the older kids, but he won't give it up. Kevin manages to get him to lay down beside him and he turns on a video on his phone for him. Mitchell ends up passing out as well. He lets the older four run around some more with his girls before he calls them back over to go back to the house.

He knows the four year olds will protest a nap, but they have played hard all morning and with the time differences, he thinks some rest will do them some good. They get back to the house, Cara helping him get the sleeping two year olds down on the bed. Back in the living room, they build a fort with pillows and blankets from all over the house. He turns on a movie and the twins end up following him to the kitchen. He lets them help him decide on what to feed them for supper.

Dinner goes smoothly, Marcus and Nathaniel having decided on grilled cheeses. Cara cuts up some fruit for them to go with it, and he promises cookies for dessert if they eat some of the fruit. Grace texts as they're just finishing their cookies that the event has finished and they'll be flying out within the hour. He promises her that they are fine, as he gets all the kids back into the living room. He turns on Disney and everybody collapses inside the fort.

He snaps some pictures and sends them to Grace to share. Hadley is laying on Caroline's left, Mitchell and Liv curled up on either side of Ava. The twins are separated by Sam and all of them are laying with their heads on Cara who is laying at the top of the pile. While they are watching Disney, falling asleep, he works on editing the video from earlier. It's one of his most chaotic videos ever, but he can't help but love it.

He heads to the back porch to film an intro for it, and he'll show it to everybody once they get there before he posts it. "Hello everybody! Welcome back to the channel. Today's video is not the usual content. It was going to be, but I helped my sister and her friends out today and ended up with a whole bunch of kids, including my own," he chuckles. "I'll admit, I've had a lot of creator's block on some of the projects at the shop and it's made it hard to make quality videos for you to enjoy. And while keeping up with nine kids ranging from thirteen to two is exhausting, today has been fun. The video is adorable and chaotic. I'm calling it Uncle Kev's Daycare!" He laughs as he ends the little clip.

When he gets back inside, he's not surprised at all to find all the kids asleep. He turns the tv down, and throws some blankets over them in their forts. He pulls footage from the day all together and gets it ready to show his sister and the gang. He greets them at the door two hours later. Everybody is exhausted so he quickly shows them to the guest room and the girls room they were going to use for the night. They all decided to just leave the kids as they are. The next morning over breakfast, he shows them all the video. It is one of the funniest videos ever and they're all more than happy to have him post it.

It ends up one of his most liked videos and gains him almost a thousand more subscribers. It's safe to say the next time he has creator's block he'll just offer to babysit again.