#also because of the censorship but it only makes it more mutual longing

[starsxinxthexbluexsky]

The Untamed | Episode 42 [Single-Log Bridge]

⤳WangXian’s Favorite Scenes [8/∞]⬿

[audristarzz]

I've been feeling anxious and stressed with this whole kosa thing im trying not to panic but sometimes it feels like no matter what we do they wont listen to us i just saw a tiktok saying that their not even reading up on this bill which pisses me off more. And we are telling them time and time again to not pass kosa. I remember so many content creators were talking about the dangers of the kosa bill i remember it being talked everywhere and now it's just silence which confuses me why is no concerned about this bill did everyone just forget or just doesn't care anymore. This is just reminding me of the whole tiktok ban thing again but so many people online were talking about that but not kosa at all like this bill is going to affect everyone and then everyone will start panicking if it does pass when they could've spoken out about the bill. I'm sorry for the kinda long rant im just stressed anxious idk what to do i have been calling emailing whatever im just so tired i've been spreading info in my twiiter/x account and none of my mutuals seems to care i know people are focusing about what's going on in palestine congo sudan etc so am i but you focus on multiple things at once this bill can censor people talking about these countries too so it makes me really confused why there's barley anyone concerned about the censorship and online safety thing and the whole government id like literally no one of my mutuals care their just only liking posts about me retweeting stuff about palestine sudan and congo like what about the kosa bill it can censor us talking about israels war crimes hello people you should be concerned and make some noise about kosa. I'll try to distract myself i guess but it's hard not to worry i hope it doesn't immediately go to the house once it fully passes the senate since from my understanding only a committee passed it so it might pass the senate tomorrow or some shit idk. Im glad there's slightly more opposition in the house it gives me hope also do you think even if it does pass that it can be stopped with congressman and the government being sued i heard something about lawsuits in a few posts on here and twitter/x but again sorry for the long rant you can ignore if you want it is a long rant sorry lol.

hello!! don’t apologize for ranting I can understand why it’s very stressful and scary especially since it feels like you have nobody to talk to about this, it is infact a scary time for us right now with everyone going on but I’m very proud of you for spreading awareness about KOSA, I myself am trying to stay positive since there could be things that stop the bill (opposition, the possibility of it getting sued and the fact it’s harmful for lgbtq youth and unconstitutional as fuck) but I’ll admit it the anxiety and stress of it does get to me but I’m not going to give up and neither should you. I learned about KOSA a year ago and the reason why it’s just NOW getting to the senate is because we voiced our opposition, Evan Greer is a reliable source where I get my information and she does a lot to try to keep KOSA from passing. A reminder that KOSA tried to pass before in previous years but didn’t because there was so much opposition of it. Maxwell Frost, a representative opposes KOSA amongst others which is good, Once again, there is more opposition and skepticism about KOSA in the House than Senate. I know it’s scary and worrisome but please, don’t panic and if it gets to the point where it’s to much for your health take a step back from looking at updates for a minute. KOSA won’t go straight into effect after it’s voted to the Senate, and IF it passes it will take 18 months to go into effect depending on which state you’re in. But it’s not to that point yet, It has to get to the House which if we keep voicing our concern and opposition will not pass and then get signed to the president, which given everything that’s been going on in the presidential race, may be a bit tricky or take longer to get too. Senate goes into a break in August so I’ve heard so that gives us time to keep calling/ emailing and faxing. If you have any trusted adult I would recommend voicing your concerns to them, i myself am in a very much homophobic republican family (democratic state tho) and i felt hopeless for awhile since I had nobody to voice my concerns to but then I talked to my older cousin and it made me feel a lot better since she voted for Biden. Im not an expert when it comes to politics and this, I get my research from other amazing blogs on Tumblr, articles and Evan Greer since I don’t have any other social media platforms. But I hope I was able to bring some reassurance to you, if not I apologize but please do not give up because the silence is what’s going to get KOSA to pass, keep voicing your opposition, calling / faxing and emailing. It’s going to be okay and please do not panic, whatever happens tomorrow will be a step forward or back but regardless we can fight it and not let KOSA pass. You’re doing great Anon. 💗

[sarahowritesostucky]

Hi! don't know if you answer asks like this but just curious as a fic writer do you feel different fandoms have cliques where some writers only comment or promote writers they're friends with and not all? and in relation to this, do you think stats are the most important thing to a writers success in a fandom? I know this might seem random but just admire your writing and wanted to hear your thoughts

Interesting ask. Okay well, first off, I squee whenever somebody says they ADMIRE my writing *fans self with nearest flat object, in a flattered, flustered, and ego-inflated emotional state*

second off, I'm fairly new to Tumblr, so I am not the most knowledgeable about this

that said, I think that people on Tumblr do a pretty pitiful job overall of promoting content with reblogs, and comments are even rarer!

I have a core group of people whom I've noticed will always reblog my fics, and I absolutely have friendship-y feelings for them even though they're internet strangers, lol. (I love you guys! 💗)

I think that if you're creating quality content and you aren't an asshat, people will eventually catch on and wind up flocking to you. It's the quality of the content you're putting out there that matters most.

But also be smart and try to post regularly, try to write things you know people love (certain tropes, pairings, kinks, etc). Post at peak times of day, make sure your queue is full and set to post at least several times per day. Stuff like that.

If your OTP/fandom is less popular, commit to writing some micro fics about more popular pairings/fandoms/tropes, just to draw more readers in--They will then be more likely to give your niche stuff a try!

As your followers # grows, you'll get more promotion, just because of sheer numbers. So yes, I think having more followers is important if you want to see more engagement with your content overall. (but again, that follows smart posting and quality content)

However, it only takes a handful of awesome supporters to make for a great fandom experience on Tumblr!

As to cliques, I have experienced some pretty hateful bullying and exclusion on the platform, related to an incident where I was abrasive and made a point about free speech, censorship, being willing to discuss vs cancel, and people who are reactive instead of rational (antis).

long story short, my old account was sent death threats, constant harassing, and vile anons, before being vindictively deleted by a rogue staff member (yes, I've gotten confirmation that this is abuse from other Tumblr representatives)

Antis and trolls definitely flock together in cliques, so exclusion can happen there. Cliques can be helpful in that they weed out the nasties fast.

For example: on my new account, I have noticed that perhaps 20 or so accounts have me blocked--most of them are smalltime/not so great bloggers, but about five of them are very popular Chris Evans or Sebastian Stan authors whose content I would probably otherwise be reading and commenting/re-blogging.

I don't think I interacted with most of them directly on my old account, but they are in the cliques that the antis were in, so they hopped on the block-Sarah train based off of whatever their mutuals said.

I don't read other people's fics on Tumblr so much as I do on Ao3, and I'm more about posting my own stuff on Tumblr, so the blocking isn't really an issue with me (mostly they're the ones losing out on the content promotion I would be doing for them, lol).

I think if people are going to be nasty, negative, reactive-not-rational, not willing to discuss, and just generally mean spirited, do you really want them promoting you anyway? Probably not.

As to the people who are not that way, I'd say: PEOPLE NOTICE WHEN YOU REBLOG AND COMMENT on their stuff.

so the more YOU promote other content creators whose stuff you like, the more they will feel affinity for you and promote your stuff!!

I suggest following TONs of people who are in your fandom--many of them will notice and follow you back. That's the best way to get started if you want to grow your account. But also like I said: put out quality content--honey draws bees; and promote other people's content to create good relationships with mutuals.

[oshieteacapella]

19 days | ch.410

I haven’t done one of these since April, so- yeah, it was about time.

I’LL GET THERE! DON’T WORRY—first, the revelations.

I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who thought Mr Jian was Jian Yi’s father. This actually makes more sense because why would He Cheng work for two mafia bosses around the same age (more or less?) This also means that Mama Jian is not a mob wife but a MOB QUEEN HERSELF. The milfs have won!

Back to Mr Ji, he’s sick so is his motivation to prepare Jian Yi to be his successor? Then what about the He brothers? Is Papa He the second in command? Are He Tian and Jian Yi really cousins? That would explain a family business and why all of them work together. Because it’s clear that He Cheng works for his dad too, or at least answers to him... yet, it doesn’t seem he would be chosen to be his father's successor so... WHY ARE THEY NOT RESPECTING MY MAN CHENG? HUH? He’s capable, he’s good at his job, he has a heart, he can take drastic decisions and keep a dog alive, he can control his urges and he probably hasn’t made a move on Qiu because he’s a professional but oh god, he wants to. And Qiu is a slut, he would. My headcanon: Qiu is also a bi king.

Yeah, that went places that shouldn’t have, sorry. Back to the chapter.

Zhanyi, as always, is the cutest. And good for you, Xixi, Mama Ji approves.

First of all: WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS QIU? No Qiu and no She Li in sight, which means Qiu is probably taking care of the body. He was there to prevent He Tian from becoming an assassin, basically, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to do something to She Li. Is he throwing him somewhere? Will he take him to a hospital? That’s a mystery and I want answers, Ox.

LOOK AT HIS FACE. He looks so tired and so relieved. I think a part of him was scared of showing Mo what he can do because one thing is knowing he belongs to a dangerous family, and another one is showing you’ve been trained as well. Yet Mo is taking him home, to take care of him, to a safe place, just like He Tian did for him.

MAMA MO. I missed you. You work too hard and she knows Mo is a good boi.

How to finally get your man, a guide by He Tian: compliment his mum’s food.

Precious.

What I love about this moment it’s not just HOW LONG we’ve been waiting. Or the character development both of them have had after... well, the hell they’ve been through, but how He Tian waits. He simply waits and looks at Mo, he could move with him but he doesn’t, he waits for Mo to close his eyes, for Mo to close the space between them.

Also, this confirms that Mo likes to grab He Tian’s hair and He Tian likes that too. But let’s not go to the kinks yet.

It’s a shame that because of censorship we can have an explicit kiss, but we know this is a proper kiss in (almost) any other place. WE’VE BEEN BLESSED.

Now let’s just wait for a mutual Zhanyi kiss, but I have less hope for them tbh.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Franz Schubert: the enigma of the man and the musician

If I were to identify the distinctive emotion that pervades Schubert's music, I would say that it is a tragic but reconciled love: love not only for people in all their many predicaments, but also love for music, and especially for the music that was brought to him by his muse....When I think of Schubert's death, and lament that he did not live to the age of Mozart, I think of the love that he longed for and never obtained, and wonder yet more at a musical legacy that contains more consolation for our loneliness than any other human creation.

- Sir Roger Scruton on Franz Schubert (1797-1828)

The story of Austrian composer Franz Schubert (1797–1828) was one of the most tragic in classical music. Schubert died young. Really young. Younger than almost any other famous composer - younger than Mozart, Chopin, or Mendelssohn. He contracted syphilis at 25 and died at 31, which limited his life in many ways but also drove him to be an incredibly prolific composer. His personal life is shrouded in mystery and yet it greatly influenced his music. 2022 marks the 225th anniversary of his birth and perhaps then it’s good time to discuss the man and his music. Can unveiling his life bring into light the tortured genius of his musical compositions? Let us see.

Schubert wasn’t very keen on marriage for many possible reasons, perhaps because he didn’t have enough money, or because he was gay, or because he thought marriage was a bourgeois institution created to force conformity - or none of those things. In any case, he was a bachelor who lived a life of his own choosing. Schubert’s 20s were a lot like many artists’ and other urban dwellers’ 20s today: he was broke most of the time and lived with roommates, he hung out in pubs and drank heavily, he flirted with leftist political movements, and, most importantly, he had a close but ever changing group of friends to explore art, politics, religion, literature, and, of course, music.

Born in 1797 in Vienna, Schubert grew up with a strict schoolteacher father who encouraged his musical pursuits. Schubert first left home at the age of 11 to serve as a choirboy in the imperial court chapel, a position that included a scholarship to an elite school (“the principal Viennese boarding school for non-aristocrats” according to Grove Music Online). During Schubert’s five years there, he met the first members of what would become his adult circle of friends. Their help later proved instrumental in getting him out of his father’s house and off the path to becoming a schoolteacher, a low-level civil servant job, like his father.

Schubert didn’t just come from a strict family, he also lived in a rather strict society. In the aftermath of two successive defeats by Napoleon during Schubert’s childhood, Austria reverted back to a repressive political regime. He spent his entire adult life in a society with strict government censorship and powerful secret police, and he chafed under the limits of his freedom at various times. In 1816, a year after the passage of a law that barred men of lower social classes from marrying unless they had sufficient income, Schubert wrote a tortured diary entry disparaging marriage and the monarchy.

In 1820, Schubert attended a party that was raided by the police. He spent the night in jail, and his friend the political activist Johann Senn was jailed for over a year and then exiled to his native Austrian Tyrol. Later on, Schubert worked on the opera Der Graf von Gleichen even though he knew its plot about bigamy had no chance of making it past the censors.

Schubert was subject to strong controlling forces during his lifetime so perhaps it was natural that of his many friends, the closest was Franz von Schober, a gregarious nobleman who had a reputation as a sort-of self-indulgent pleasure seeker. It seems that everyone who knew Schober either loved or hated him.

Many thought he was a bad influence on Schubert, and various mutual friends left negative characterisations of him. According to one, “Schober surpasses us all in mind, and even more so in speech! Yet there is much about him that is artificial, and his best powers threaten to be suffocated by idleness.” Schubert was much more dedicated to his creative work than Schober but he was irresistibly attracted to Schober’s uninhibited way of living. When Schubert first moved out of his father’s home to try to make his living as a musician, he moved into the Schober family flat in central Vienna, and Schober later took credit for liberating Schubert from the life of a schoolteacher.

Given that Schubert was something of a non-conformist, it’s ironic that he was most popular in his lifetime for domestic music. Written for amateurs, music for the home was part of the culture of cozy domesticity in Biedermeier Vienna. And like many Viennese, Schubert avidly participated in home music making throughout his life. He wrote and published many songs and short pieces for piano solo or duo (two people playing one piano). Schubert’s first big hit was Erlkönig. He wrote it in 1815 and it was performed five years later at a private home and then publicly soon after. It promptly exploded in popularity and was published as his Op. 1. A song about death pursuing a child, it features a vivid accompaniment portraying a horse trying to outrun death. The song is both totally genius and clearly written by a melodramatic 18-year-old.

In early 1821, around the time Erlkönig was starting to get noticed, Schubert’s circle of friends began to have their first official Schubertiads, a clever name they came up with to describe evenings devoted to Schubert’s music. Schober was one of the primary participants and they often took place at his home. These performances of Schubert’s music and the encouragement of his friends were major catalysts to his career.

Like most children growing up, I learned to play the piano and so from an early age I was always a fan of piano sonatas. With solo piano, there is nowhere to hide. Without the cover of an orchestra, the details of every part - melody, counterpoint, harmony, and rhythm - are all exposed. The genius of the work is thus revealed, as well as the personality of the composer.

Every note is a clue to who the writer is. Schubert may have been a shy and retiring gentleman, but he was full of mischief, mystery, and wonder. His piano sonatas are an incredible contribution to our heritage and reveal him as a man with a limitless interior landscape of emotion. There is enough polite, baroque gaiety to enjoy, but on closer examination, Schubert’s sonatas reveal sensitively expressed romance, pathos, and yearning.

The Fantasy in C, Op. 15, more commonly known as The ‘Wanderer’ Fantasy, was written for solo piano in 1822, and is one of Schubert’s most well-known and frequently performed works. It is considered one of the greatest compositions in the entire piano repertoire. This four-movement fantasy is linked by a unifying theme with each movement flowing into the next, starting with a variation of the opening phrase from a former composition ‘Der Wanderer.’ This lied (poem set to music) was originally composed in 1816 for piano and voice with lyrics and title derived from a poem by Georg Philipp Schmidt von Lübeck.

The ‘Wanderer’ Fantasy is considered his most challenging work; he is quoted to have barely the ability to play it himself. Composed during the post-Enlightenment, the fantasy alludes to the onset of changing tastes - the complexity, the sense of searching, and his contemporary time itself. Musically it is incredible; as a cultural reference, it is absolutely magnetic. In the song, the wanderer seeks a distant paradise but cannot find it anywhere among men: “Where are you, my dear land? Sought and brought to mind, yet never known. …” Searching for happiness, the wanderer asks, “where?” and a ghostly breath answers, “There, where you are not, there is your happiness.”

The ‘Wanderer’ Fantasy broke away from the classical form in that it was created to be performed without a break between the movements. Both the virtuosity and structure captivated other Romantic era composers, most intently the Hungarian composer Franz Liszt, who transcribed it for piano and orchestra. Editing Schubert’s original score, Liszt rearranged the final movement and added alternative passages into the fantasy.

There are over 900 works by Schubert to explore, ranging from traditional Viennese waltzes like the dreamscape ‘Serenade’ for full orchestra, viola, or cello to his poetic lieder. ‘Erlkönig’ (translated as ‘king of the fairies’) is one of Schubert’s more preeminent lieder. Set to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s poem of the same name, it is a dramatic and challenging composition that is widely regarded as a masterpiece of the early Romantic era.

The lied tells the story of a father who swiftly rides home on horseback, holding his anxious and feverish son. As the story unfolds, the child experiences “hallucinations” of the malevolent spirit of the Erlking (personification of death) that tries to lure the boy. As they race through the forest, the frightened father tries to console his child by defining the supernatural experiences as mere natural causes: a streak of fog, rustling leaves, and the shimmering willows. When they reach home, the father discovers that his son has died.

Schubert was only 18 years of age when he created this evocative and theatrical composition in 1815. Composed for vocals and piano accompaniment, the song features four characters - narrator, father, son, and the Erlking - all sung by a single vocalist. All characters are sung in the minor key except the Erlking, whose character is sung in the major key.

‘Erlkönig’ is an extremely unusual composition in several ways. There are features that, taken abstractly, would seem to demonstrate a lack of familiarity with the musical conventions of the early 19th century. And while there are many possible poetic interpretations of these moments, they often fall short of explaining why Schubert departed so far from the style of his time. The accompaniment, with its incessant vibrations, is strange piano writing. The resulting music could be taken as an illustration of the horse’s clopping hooves - at least an abstract illustration, since a horse has (obviously) four legs, not three or six, as the triplet motion would suggest. (The song ‘Gretchen at the Spinning Wheel,’ for example, sounds far more ‘realistic.’)

In the setting of the line “My son, it’s a wisp of fog,” the dissonance, on the word “son,” is so irregularly composed as to be provocative. A naked major second is resolved upwards (wrong!) to a unison (wrong!!!!). In the musical language of the early 19th century, it was impossible to treat a dissonance more incorrectly.

The ending is unusually abrupt. The boy’s suffering is portrayed vividly in music, but his death itself is not illustrated. There’s a brief phrase, quasi recitativo, a pair of piano chords, and nothing more. The chords are long, not staccato, and there is no fermata.

In Schubert’s time, death was conventionally illustrated by a grand pause in all the instruments. It is extremely unlikely that he wasn’t aware of this - even if he had never explicitly learned the rhetorical device, he would certainly have had enough experience of this convention as listener. A grand pause would have been the obvious choice for this moment, and it’s striking that Schubert didn’t make that choice. The key to the interpretation of the work lies in this decision.

To understand Schubert’s compositional choices, let’s return to the original poem. What is the text really about? There is strong evidence that the poem is describing the rape of a child - from the perspective of the perpetrator.

Goethe gives the most space in his poem to the emotions of the Erlkönig, who is responsible for the child’s death. The pain of the father, who holds his expiring son in his arms, is also explored thoroughly. Yet the suffering of the child himself seems barely worth mentioning to Goethe. He devotes little space to the boy’s pain, and when he does speak, his words feel strangely artificial - he says, “Erlkönig has done me harm.” This oddly formal phrase sounds hollow coming out of a child’s mouth.

Erlkönig says to the boy, “I love you, I’m charmed by your beautiful form.” (Charmed, in German, is reizen, which can also mean excited or even aroused.) Erlkönig has a crown and a symbolic, phallic tail.

Erlkönig then threatens, “If you’re not willing, I’ll have to use force.” (Force is Gewalt, which can also mean violence, and which forms the centre of the word for rape, Vergewaltigung.) This line is abhorrent to our contemporary ears, trained as we are in the inviolability of sexual consent.

But it’s worth remembering that this would have sounded different - even routine - in Goethe’s time. Rape within marriage was legal and socially acceptable; the distinction between seducing and forcing someone to do something was far more blurred; weaker groups in society had little recourse to justice. Goethe himself wrote a line saying “I loved boys, but prefer to love girls / If I’ve had my fill of them as girls, I’ll avail myself of them as boys,” without fear of censure. We must assume that these girls, if they were unwilling to be used anally, were taken for this purpose by force.

Schubert’s setting of ‘Erlkönig’ is mostly free, associative. Besides the return of the introductory triplet motive, there are few formal connections or structures to be found. That makes the harmonic and melodic parallels between the lines “He holds him secure, he holds him warm” and “Erlkönig has done me harm” impossible to overlook. The harmonies are exactly the same - they haven’t even been transposed - and only a single chord is left out.

Here, the melodic material that kept the boy secure and warm becomes the cry of the dying - or arguably, raped - child. Schubert is perhaps telling us who the perpetrator is. The secure, warm touch of the father becomes the suffering he inflicts on his son. And the strange dissonance set to the word “son” takes on a new meaning. Clearly, something is not right. This father-son relationship is distorted, perverted.

There is a sexual image in the accompanying right-hand triplet figure. Imagine the right hand, playing the constant up-and-down vibrations of Schubert’s triplets, taken away from the keyboard and rotated 90 degrees so that the thumb is facing away from the body; now imagine this same motion performed on the penis. It is the motion of masturbation. Here, Schubert pushes his naturalism to its limits. If we assume that the perpetrator was right-handed, which he very likely was (85% of people are), then he would have masturbated with his right hand. And the way Schubert builds his song to its climax is analogous to the male orgasm.

The ending is direct and illustrative. Instead of the grand pause that would appropriately depict the child’s death, we get music and words that are analogous to the end of a rape. Excuse the blunt language: in “He reaches the farmhouse with effort and urgency,” the father ejaculates; in “In his arms the child,” he pulls his pants up; and finally, in “was dead,” he zips up his fly, completing the act.

It seems improbable that Schubert used this song to directly process childhood trauma. But it’s obvious that he is, at least unconsciously, reporting from a harrowing experience. In his famous short story “My Dream,” he writes the following: “…My father took me once again into his favourite garden. He asked me if I liked it. But the garden was wholly repellent to me and I dared not say so. Then, flushing, he asked me a second time: did the garden please me? Trembling, I denied it. Then my father struck me and I fled.”

Could it be that the garden his father was so fond of, that was so abhorrent to little Franz, was the genital region of his father, with an overgrowth of pubic hair? In “My Dream,” a heartrending passage follows the story of the garden. “When I would sing of love, it turned to pain. And again, when I would sing of pain, it turned to love. Thus love and pain divided me,” Schubert wrote. If Schubert did suffer abuse as a child, this would take on an entirely new meaning. Instead of alluding to some diffuse sense of romantic melancholy, it would be a document of the abuse he suffered; and, moreover, of the stunted emotional life to which he was condemned. That’s just one interpretation that I’ve come to mull over after being provoked by other more musically qualified friends versed in classical music and in particular the life and works of Schubert himself.

Another of my favourite pieces by Schubert has been String Quartet No. 14, also known as ‘Death and the Maiden’. This was composed in 1824 after Schubert learned of his imminent death. In 1822, the now-successful, well-received Schubert contracted syphilis, which would go on to destroy his health, his good spirits, and ultimately his life. It was during this period of decline that he created his String Quartet No. 14, slotting ‘Death and the Maiden’ into the quartet’s second movement. He was in a much gloomier place in life, he confessed in a March 1824 letter to his friend, Leopold Kupelwieser.

“I find myself to be the most unhappy and wretched creature in the world. Imagine a man whose health will never be right again, and who in sheer despair continually makes things worse and worse instead of better; imagine a man, I say, whose most brilliant hopes have perished, to whom the felicity of love and friendship have nothing to offer but pain at best, whom enthusiasm (at least of the stimulating variety) for all things beautiful threatens to forsake, and I ask you, is he not a miserable, unhappy being? ‘My peace is gone, my heart is sore, I shall find it nevermore,’ I might as well sing every day now, for upon retiring to bed each night I hope that I may not wake again, and each morning only recalls yesterday’s grief.”

The quartet was inspired by one of his earlier lieder, using the same title, and was originally set to a poem by German poet Matthias Claudius. The theme of the quartet is a death toll about the terror of dying and the hopeful anticipation of the comfort and peace that follows. In the dialogue between the maiden and death, the young woman fearfully casts death away, crying out: “Go, savage man of bone! I am still young - go!”

The verse sung by “Death” in Schubert’s lied reads:

“Give me your hand, you fair and tender creature;
I am a friend and do not come to punish you.
Be of good cheer! I am not savage,
Gently you will sleep in my arms.”

And yet, his Quartet No. 14, ‘Death and the Maiden,’ came from that place. Which, to me, explains how, and why, the quartet has such power. And, as you’ll come to hear, it’s a world apart from his 1817 song.

The second movement of the quartet is nuanced, mysterious, heartbreaking, and, curiously, utterly seductive, with its two distinct voices. And, surely, far more personal to Schubert than the song had been. Because now, battling illness, depression, the realities of an illness that gets treated with mercury, whereby you either die or syphilis or mercury poisoning, Schubert gets it. It’s not just the maiden that Death is after. It’s Schubert.

Here’s the Borromeo Quartet (Nicholas Kitchen and Kristopher Tong, violins; Mai Motobuchi, viola; Yeesun Kim, cello) in a fabulous rendition:

Despite Schubert’s illness and depression, he continued to write tuneful, light music that evoked warmth and comfort. The String Quartet No. 14 was first played privately in 1826 and not published until 1831, three years after his death.

To make time to write The ‘Wanderer’ Fantasy for the wealthy patron Carl Emanuel Liebenberg von Zsittin, Schubert stopped writing what would come to be known as the ‘Unfinished Symphony.’ Unfortunately, the ‘Unfinished Symphony’ remained unfinished, and The ‘Wanderer’ Fantasy wasn’t performed in public until 1832, long after the composer’s death.

If there was any doubt about Schubert’s pure emotionality, the drama of the ‘Unfinished Symphony,’ also known as Symphony No. 8, will quickly dispel all doubts. Although the symphony is missing its finale, which would complete the musical form, it is not lacking in any other sense. Due to the lyrical drive of the dramatic structure, the unfinished Symphony No. 8 is often referred to as the very first Romantic symphony, which cements Schubert’s place in the annals of music history. The bold symphonic scope of Schubert’s music as well as its dramatic power and emotional tension celebrate him as a “romantic” who influenced the next group of musical legends such as Franz Liszt and Richard Strauss.

Yet, even at the height of the Schubertiads, when his songs and piano pieces were selling, Schubert wanted to make his name outside the publications that fueled the home music market. In addition to composing nine symphonies, working on a handful of operas that he left in various stages of completeness, and writing string quartets and piano trios, he also worked to bring the smaller genres that he was famous for into the concert hall. He made them longer, more ambitious, and more virtuosic. One such example is “Lebensstürme,” a movement for piano duo. It may have been intended as the first movement of a four-movement work (the name ‘Lebensstürme’ - Storms of Life - was added after Schubert’s death).

Over all then, Schubert is difficult to characterise. Schubert disdained many aspects of traditional bourgeois life, particularly regular employment, institutional religion, conformist thinking, and marriage. Freedom - political, personal, professional, and creative - was extremely important to the way Schubert sought to live his life. And yet he held strong anti-establishment views while profiting from the celebration of “hearth, heart, and home” that was Biedermeier Vienna. He composed tirelessly and still found time for a very active social life.

It’s also hard to get a sense of his personality from his friends’ reminiscences of him. Many who knew him described him as having a dual nature. One example, and probably the harshest, was by Josef Kenner, who said that Schubert’s “body, strong as it was, succumbed to the cleavage in his - souls - as I would put it, of which one pressed heavenwards and the other bathed in slime.” Quotes like that raise more questions than they answer but they point to the fact that Schubert lived a marginal existence in a society that celebrated loyalty to the family and the state.

If Schubert the man was hard to fathom, there is no doubt about Schubert the musician composer. t’s easy to see why his work is considered in the same league as the works of Mozart, Bach, or Beethoven. Schubert’s compositions are still being discovered by audiences that appreciate its depth and emotive expression.

I just wish he had known that we would still know his name almost 200 years later. Nearly 200 years after his death, he remains an enigma.

[sagemoderocklee]

omg let’s go choose violence multiples of three 🔥

3. ANSWERED

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

lotta them are but def S/S and N/H for me.

i think n*r*gaa is annoying but like the actual fandom has toned down some or maybe i just been out of it so long i never have to see anything from them. though i still think its annoying whenever the fandom does stupid lil 'gaara is jealous of sasuke' jokes. annoyin as hell and completely disregards the way gaara empathized with sasuke--even if kishimoto couldn't commit to that more strongly. but hey no one is important unless they can be used to prop up the MC, and god forbid anyone but naruto feel anything for sasuke i guess. not like the whole thing with gaara and sasuke in classic was that gaara saw himself in sasuke... like rlly fuckin sucks what we coulda had there

9. worst part of canon

god there's so much that's bad but definitely the Otsutsuki. gotta be my least fave thing. zero foreshadowing because it was just a gimmick for boruto.

also ch 700 sucks and doesnt exist to me

12. ANSWERED

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

gonna assume this is meant negatively but uh besides the obvious blushing gaara shit also the orientalist designs that are out there. like gaara in these fake ass belly dancer type costumes. ugly and racist as hell. like if you wanna put Gaara in clothes from SWANA regions then do the fucking research. dont just throw shit together. you cant culture vulture your way to a diverse cast of characters

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

bitch i dont know >< uh... yeah i got nuthin

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

lmao most of it but definitely Madara

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

a*3

if someone wants to give their money to a site that hosts cp, racist fics, silences pro-Palestine volunteers, treats volunteers like shit and ignores the volunteers of color experiencing racism then imma block and move on with my day. and if someone wants to align themselves with ppl who send messages to the effect of "lol because of this im donating $100 to a*3" to mostly Black bloggers seeking mutual aid who happen to be critical of said site... well thats on them too. these ppl are one step away from callin Black ppl slurs but sure it's more important to protect this site from so-called censorship (it's actually just moderation, but go off with that fake ass oppression)

you dont get to call somethin art and then not criticize it and the spaces it inhabits. real literature is criticized, so if fanfic is held up to that standard then it and the spaces it exists in should be criticized--and in general any community space needs to be held to a standard, but hey that's askin mostly white ppl to care about community. but like either its transformative and therefore warrants engagement on that level or its just for fun--and if its the latter, then youre still sayin its fine to have fun at the expense of others; its fine to disseminate works that maintain the status quo, and even encourage it. you cant 'representation matters' and 'fiction doesnt impact reality' a thing--the two are contradictory, only one can be true, and hint: it's not the latter--or the space it exists in.

also genuinely think its so disingenuous to act like ppl critical of that site are all doin it out of spite and to "ruin ppls fun" insteada because they want that space to be welcoming and better for everyone--safer. ppl pushin for change are tryna make it a place that doesnt cause harm, silencing that is so fuckin stupid

[coolfire333]

TW for mentions of (fictionalized) incest, rape, and pedophilia in text

Tldr: If you create or enjoy fanworks or original works that glorify incest, rape, minors being sexually and/or romantically involved with adults, and/or sexually graphic works of minors DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME.

I can't believe I have to say this explicitly but I cannot take it any longer. I just had to block a mutual because of their defense of someone acting like a "brave author against censorship" while clearly getting off on writing incest fanfiction so obviously this is still not clear to people.

There's the whole "oh so you'd ban Lolita for pedophilia?" or "so you expect a game of thrones fanfic to avoid these incest and rape?" or "so you're ignoring the sexuality of underage teens?" counterarguments which I will also address: works like those which feature "dark themes" are not inherently bad because the author's opinion is not automatically the same as their characters' opinions.

When I was younger I read a fanfic that was about the consequences of incest that was actually very well written and inspired a lot of thought in me. The original work only passingly mentions incest as a theme, but even if it didn't mention it at all, the way in which this fic handled it treated it as it deserved to be treated: as something serious and potentially traumatic.

This is the kind of writing about these subjects that I believe is ok to write as long is it is handled carefully. Even if some of the characters glorify it, be realistic with the consequences as the writer. If you're writing fanfic, it's your decision whether you will deviate from some of the darker themes in the original text or not, or if you'll explore darker themes in an otherwise lighthearted work. All I ask is that you be respectful.

HOWEVER some of you are clearly not being respectful and are instead getting off on and/or fantasizing about these "dark themes" instead of just exploring them and wanting to write about them for psychological or thematic reasons, and that's entirely disgusting to me. There is a difference from someone writing an original story involving rape, or someone drawing game of thrones fanart that involves incest, or someone covering a song about pedophilia and someone clearly glorifying these themes for fetish reasons and I really hope we know the difference at this point but I'm really not sure that we do.

It is so especially blatant in fanworks of media that have no rape/incest/pedophilia/graphic sexual content of minors to begin with. Even if it's handled seriously and carefully, I will still be cautious about these works because the author's intent seems more dubious here, like you'd better have a good reason and good execution of ideas for including serious content in a fanwork of something that didn't originally feature those themes or else I might question your motives.

I honestly could not care less if you have trauma or a disorder or a kink or whatever that makes you into this stuff. Like ok, just don't do anything of that nature in real life and we're cool, but for the love of god maybe AT LEAST CONSIDER keeping the fact that you fantasize about this TO YOURSELF and STOP sharing this information in public, especially if you're gonna act like a martyr of art/literature/music/etc. when people rightfully call you out for being disgusting in glorifying things that do not need positive attention.

Some of you are not even shy with how you fantasize about these "dark themes" and to be honest I think you need to be more ashamed about what you're doing. You are not oppressed or "being censored" for fetishizing serious topics and getting flak and critique for it, you are just a sleazy creep who lacks basic human decency and I want you to piss off somewhere else and stop interacting with me.

[midnightsilver]

A note to new Spn artists on tumblr about tagging,😇

The tagging system is your friend!🤗 How exposure basically works here is that your art posts spread through the web of your mutuals and on out to their mutuals and ever onwards like a growing tree🌳, but the process can be hit or miss. You might not have many mutual yet, or they might not have many mutuals themselves. Or your mutual might not be online when you decide to post your art, and by the time they do get back their dash has gotten busy and your post has dropped so far down that it would take a million years to scroll down to see it. Or maybe your mutuals were online when you posted and did reblog but their mutuals weren’t online and then their dash got busy and…. Etc Etc. There is a way to help with this! ⭐️Tag your art posts⭐️. Tagged posts are searchable and many people follow specific tags. If you tag your art then your posts will continue to show up in that tag list for anyone who missed your initial post or for anyone who isn’t yet your mutual. Give your hard work the chance it deserves!

I find loads of art to reblog by searching through tags but I’d love to find more! If you make Spn art consider tagging it with ‘Spn Art’ or ‘Spn Fanart’ or ‘Supernatural art’ or ‘Supernatural Fanart’ or even ‘Spnfanart’ (if you are still stuck in Twitter mode). These are first tags that most people search for 🔎👀or follow if they are looking for art to do with Supernatural. My favourite to use is ‘Spn Fanart’ - the term ‘supernatural art’ can sometimes be used by other fantasy creators 🐉 but ‘Spn fanart’ is very specific to us.

If you are a creator who is focused on a single character you might tag your art ‘character X art’ and that will entice people who follow ‘character X’ posts but the Generalist Supernaturalist doesn’t have time to search individually for Character A, B, C, D …. Z, every day, so consider adding a general supernatural art tag as well.👍🏻😄

Also please pick a creator tag and stick to it. It can be as simple as ‘my art’ or you can use your name if you want. The pros of using ‘my art’: I see your art post tagged in the Spn fanart tag and I love your style, so I click on your blog to see if you have any more art. The first thing I type in the search bar is ‘my art’ because that’s what loads of people use and Yayyyyy I find loads more of your art and I reblog it and I am very happy! (If you haven’t used a creator tag at all then instead I start scrolling down your dash, realise that it’s been months since the last art post (no shame! Happens to us all 😊) and I find that your endless shit posting is hurting my brain (affectionate 😂 I love this hell hole as much as the next person but just now I’m looking for art not just browsing crack) and I regretfully back out of your blog because I don’t have time for this right now. Cons of using ‘my art’ as a tag: everyone does it, so if someone is searching the whole of tumblr for your art and they type in ‘my art’ then they get every person and their pet come up. To get around this you might use you name as an art tag, but see the issue above about new people finding your blog and not being able to guess what you tag is. So either tell people in your bio what your art tag is or maybe use both a generic ‘my art’ tag AND a personal one. 🤷🏻‍♂️👍🏻😄

Finally! (How fucking long is this post?!! Any of you still here???) Tag warnings, descriptions, characters and ships if any. Many people will search by ship, use the most common/fashionable portmanteau you can think of as a tag. because you want the one that most people might search by - or that ‘your people’ might search for. Also include warnings like MCD, non con, blood, gore, hurt etc without censorship. People can filter out these tags if they don’t like them but only if we have written them clearly. And lastly (as of now Nov 2022) tumblr is still a bit iffy about the whole not-safe-for-your-place-of-capitol-slavery, this is the only caution tag I would advise you not to use. It might still run the risk of a shadow ban - but let’s hope that changes in the future. Instead go for the citrus scale and use lemon for most of your not-for-grandma posts (unless your granny is hella bamf in which case good for grandma😁)

Okay I’m stopping now. Feel free to also chat in your tags if it’s something that you don’t want permanently on the bottom of your post but don’t forget that you are relying only on your mutuals and your tags, so get the searchable ones in there before you chat. 👍🏻😄 and I will look forward to seeing and reblogging all the wonderful Spn Art because you fabulous lot absolutely rule! 🙌🏼🎉

[micamicster]

I see the untamed really got you into its claws (rip) Would you recommend it to others or is it supernatural situation again? xD

ok before i say anything let me be clear. i am in love with this show. Is it "good?" do i "recommend it?" Well it's more complicated than that. (supernatural ass answer i know)

So the untamed IS the supernatural of cdramas. To me.

Allow me to make my case: I’m obsessed with it. It’s bad. It’s addictive. It’s poorly made. It never achieves its full potential. The acting made me cry. There’s an insane gay love story hidden inside it. The cgi is unbelievably distractingly terrible. So is the editing. Some brothers have issues and I'm unwell about it. The fandom writes an uncomfortable amount of incest fic. There's too many episodes. Everyone who watches it gets worms of the brain. Truly most importantly and most crucially are the brainworms. I'm fucking infested bestie <3

So yeah, I guess making my comparisons to supernatural is because this is a show that is not necessarily good, but where the story, the themes, and the characters that it presents are so compelling that brainworms become inescapable. It's better than supernatural ultimately by virtue of FUCKING ENDING! It's a very satisfying ending I was honestly impressed by how good it was

I do want to make the note that while supernatural's insane gay love story is hidden because of the blatant homophobia of everyone at the cw down to the actors, the insane gay love story of the untamed is a carefully crafted subtextual romance that needs to sneak through the very real censorship that happens to cdramas post production. All the writers and actors on that team get my love and support for the beautiful job they did! Supernatural writers I'll see u in hell

For you, specifically, do I recommend it? I think you could have a lot of fun! I know you've watched some asian dramas I've recommended before, (you're my hotel del luna mutual <3). I would say that this has an equally if not more satisfying story compared to that show, with the added bonus of the main romance being a queer one, but it has less focus on its female characters and way worse production value. (Also maybe this is just a pro to me? But I found the 40-45 minute episode runtime a HUGE benefit compared to a lot of other dramas which are an hour+ per episode. I find those long episodes really hard to get through, and probably would not have finished this show if it hadn't had short episodes. The one pacing decision they did right lol)

So I guess it's up to you if you want to get into it! My only request is that if you DO watch it, you come yell in my dms so we can be insane together <3

[stagbled]

#STAGBLED     :         the    BLACK HERETIC,        general kirigan,        the    starless saint.     make me your villain.   an    independent,        private,     head-canon   based,   low   activity     &      mutuals        only      ❛❛     ALEKSANDER MOROZOVA, AKA THE DARKLING       ❜❜    of    shadow & bone:        a    study    in    dark versus light,        loneliness,    power & the temptation in the dark,  martyr & sacrifice,        redemption,      koschei the deathless,        and    the byronic hero.    18+    and triggering themes.      affiliated with stagflood.     dissected   by   syl.  BLOG IS A WIP. CARRD COMING SOON. INTEREST TRACKER.

other requestable muses include: will graham from nbc's hannibal, bunny corcoran from the secret history, glenn rhee from twd & more below.

rules (carrd tba) 01. just don't be a dick. if you don't like the nuance of a villain that showcases both morally grey actions plus the exploration of humanity within that, then don't follow! this goes without saying but muse does not equate mun. the darkling is a villain and all his relationships will be affected by that. his beliefs and trauma do not justify his actions - he is interesting because he thinks they do.

02. low activity. mutuals only. plot-heavy. duplicate friendly. multi and oc friendly as well. canon-divergent.

03. i will explore the ship darklina - including all the abusive and toxic elements that shroud it. it's important to the darkling and an interesting relationship to explore, as alina is his foil and obsession. i do not expect anyone to reciprocate shipping or desire it - just that i am simply open to exploration of a complicated relationship, wherever it may go. otherwise, chemistry is the must for anything. will tag '/darklina' and '/nsfw' in any posts that contain it. i am open to shipping with other charactres/ocs/the like as long as there is something there worth exploring.

04. that being said: dark topics will be explored. i do not support the idea of censorship of any form of art. however, i do ask that you tag anything that has to do heavily with grooming/csa/domestic abuse. if something i write needs a tag, just hop in my ims. i'm pretty easy to talk to and willing to accommodate those that ask.

05. still getting through the books so please be patient with me! that being said, alot of what i write will be headcanon, canon-divergent, and influenced by personal interpretation. some influences that will incorporate will be general gothic tropes of the byronic hero and being enticed by the dark. the tale of koschei the deathless may also be present and a reoccurring motif.

06. i reject the ending given to aleksander. while i am fine with his death (though, consider that null here) i do not follow the events of him being resurrected at all unless redeveloped via plotting. i will instead be following a canon-divergent path to be fleshed out soon. though the general idea is that aleksander lives and chooses to do so, facing his loneliness, wherever that leads him.

mun: hi, i'm syl! i'm a twenty-six year old literature and classics (greek focus) major. i adore tragedies, gothic horror and fantasy. i collect moth taxidermy and i love morbid things.

this is a tentative list of muses that will also make occasional appearance on this blog. feel free to request any of them: allison argent from teen wolf. adrian ivashkov from vampire academy. *bunny corcoran from the secret history. daemon targaryen from house of dragon/asoiaf. dorian gray from the picture of dorian gray. *glenn rhee from the walking dead. hannibal lecter from nbc's hannibal. jem carstairs from the infernal devices. love quinn from you. *maggie greene from the walking dead. patroclus from mythology + a song of achilles. *theon greyjoy from game of thrones. *will graham from nbc's hannibal. * = high muse. verses to come for aleksander: tlou, modern, canon divergences, twd, asoiaf, shadowhunters, vampire.

[personal-blog243]

I know I’ve shared this before but the 14 characteristics of fascism are supposedly…

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism —Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.

2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights —Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of "need." The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause—The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

4. Supremacy of the Military -Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

5. Rampant Sexism -The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Opposition to divorce is high, as is homophobia and anti-gay legislation and national policy.

6. Controlled Mass Media —Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.

7. Obsession with National Security-Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

8. Religion and Government are Intertwined - Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government's policies or actions.

9. Corporate Power is Protected - The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

10. Labor Power is Suppressed- Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed .

11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts -Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts is openly attacked, and governments often refuse to fund the arts.

12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment -Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.

13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption-Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.

14. Fraudulent Elections-Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

However don’t some of these sound similar to each other? Numbers 2,3,7, and 12 all seem similar to me.

Also #13 and #9 seem the same to me.

I have instead made a list of “5 evils” based on MLK’s “3 evils”

5 evils

1. Authoritarianism

2. Prejudice

3. War

4. Poverty

5. Pollution

[cinnamonest]

I got these and more asks regarding the post from last night so I wanted to elaborate and explain some things, and also make another point about the anniversary thing and clarify for anyone confused. After this I promise I'll shut up about this lol sorry

1) yeah please do NOT come after the VAs for any of this, not even the actual developer side either is at fault. This is largely an issue with the PR and marketing and higher up people. It's really awful that some people are harassing people who have no responsibility here. And thanks to the original asker's reply, I feel like I'm really bad at conveying my thoughts so I tend to overexplain lol, but thanks that means a lot.

2) I have seen people confused on this so if you didn't already, you should know that this isn't just about the anniversary so much as the anniversary was a final straw. While Honkai has similar rewards/exchange for irl money as genshin, mihoyo itself has some of the worst in comparison to other gachas from other developers. Games like Arknights, Granblue, Azur Lane, Dragalia Lost, hell even a cutesy casual gacha app like LoveNikki have much better real money to game currency ratios, huge anniversaries where they give out tons of free shit, and much more generous systems (such as Arknights giving free 10 pulls with a lot of events/new characters/etc). All despite being smaller, less profitable games. There's major glaring issues with the game that have gone unresolved for a long time despite people asking over and over to change it. It's a combination of the rewards, general stuff, and mihoyo's refusal to solve certain issues for a long time that has people upset.

In any industry, any company is going to be held to the standards set by the mainstream industry, which is what is happening here. It is natural to hold a company to it's competitors for comparison and expect them to match standards, especially when the company that is lacking is the richer one and could easily meet the standards if they were willing to.

This is especially true for people who put money into the game. Due to the nature of gachas/online games, companies that produce these games are usually very adamant on rewarding players because whales/P2Ws, people who buy welkin and similar stuff, etc keep the game alive. When they do not match the standard of the industry, those people will feel unappreciated and go elsewhere eventually, which means they will not be able to afford much progress, then even F2Ps won't have content, and the game will burn out.

3) I probably should have clarified this last post but, I know review-bombing does seem like a kinda shitty tactic at first and I get that, but the reason people are doing that now is because mihoyo has completely ignored people complaining for months normally, and even now has started to censor and ban people, deleted critical posts, etc. Basically it's clear that mihoyo will just ban and censor criticism until people do something that actually forces them to listen, hence review bombing. Banning/censoring criticism is a really, really bad move for any company, historically speaking, it's insulting to players who keep the company afloat and results in losses. The review bombing + a lot of people uninstalled the app apparently + people who usually pay refusing to do so anymore, all of that hits them to where they can't afford to ignore it when people do it en masse. Because it will cost them money/players.

What people are kinda really upset about, even more than rewards itself, is just the silence and censorship on their end, which is more frustrating than the lack of rewards itself. I did have some sympathy for them up until they started censoring and deleting criticism on their site. At that point they're doing this to themselves by doing that.

4) Also, notably, this has worked with plenty of other game devs. You may remember the disaster that was Fallout 76. Bethesda also responded poorly at first, but spamming bad reviews and horrible coverage for Fallout 76 got Bethesda's attention, and they went the whole nine yards formally acknowledging the complaints and more or less apologizing to the whole world of players at E3 and even gave refunds, which is a very surprisingly humble thing for a company of their level of fame to do. The situation calmed down because people felt listened to, and while Fallout 76 was kinda a lost cause and didn't get fixed, the idea is that the refunds/open and honest communication restored the consumer base's relationship to Bethesda. That was a big blow, but Bethesda was willing to take that hit to maintain the sense of communication and mutual respect/value between players and devs.

In contrast, with mihoyo, what most people have been trying to beg/bargain for for an anniversary rewards is a free permanent banner 5 star, which would cost mihoyo essentially literally nothing.

So far they have responded by banning people for literal years on hoyolab, deleting posts, banning people from various social platforms etc, for criticism. Even putting whether or not that's ok aside, it's very unusual and not how game companies usually handle these things, and can only end badly for them.

Also mihoyo has had time to fix this -- it's not like Fallout 76 where they released the game and then the backlash came very suddenly and they had to scramble to prepare a response/plan and needed time. People have been complaining about these rewards for well over a week, so they could have easily fixed it by now if they had any intention of listening to people's complaints, especially considering the proposed fix of a single free permanent 5 star would be very simple and quick to implement.

5) also? it's extra unfortunate and really a marketing team issue bc they could have *profited* from giving more, if they opened rewards to new players as most gachas do. Genshin is incredibly popular right now, to the extent that a lot of people in the gaming/weeb sphere who don't play it, but still know of it, and even know a bit about it.

If you were someone who had never played genshin but had been considering downloading it for a long time, but just kept putting it off or forgetting, and heard "hey join now and you get free Diluc/Keqing," that would have convinced a lot of people to go ahead and join, and they would inevitably get sucked into the game and bring mhy profit. So it's a little strange imo that they chose not to do that, it would have been beneficial to them.

6) also, be aware that the glider we're now getting was supposed to be paid originally. Releasing it free now is damage control. It's also, well, a glider. Again, while it is pretty, it's paltry in comparison to the industry norm and does not have much use to most people.

Finally, criticizing all of this/the game/mihoyo does not mean people hate the game. I do see some people lashing out in defense of mihoyo and I get that bc they produce something we all really like. I really really do not want to see genshin become "that one game that was super popular for a year or so and then died" -- that's why people want improvements, because if improvements aren't made, that's where it's headed. What people are asking for right now is stuff that is very easily in mihoyo's capability and would not cost them much of anything. It would be one thing to ask them for something that would cut their profits or take time to develop, but that's not what's happening. People are asking for very little in the scope of their capabilities/the norm.

[baya-ni]

Renga Shouldn’t Be Canon (clickbait)

No but seriously, I hope that Renga doesn’t become canon, at least not in the way that I think a lot of people are hoping that it will. Personally, I’m not expecting anything close to a kiss and confession and that’s fine by me.

Queerbaiting is a problem in mainstream media, there’s no doubt about it, and many people both within and outside the queer community are right to feel wary about hoping for that kind of representation. Personally, I’m still caught by surprise every time a queer person or couple is depicted in a normalized and healthy way onscreen. And that just speaks to the appallingly poor representation queer people are so used to seeing.

But I think that fandom likes to throw the word “queerbaiting” around a bit haphazardly, much in the same way faux woke people throw around words like “gaslighting” and “cancel culture”. They’ve become buzz words to evoke immediate feelings of self-righteousness and to prey on person’s fear of appearing ignorant or bigoted.

Unfortunately, I worry that when the season inevitably ends without Renga’s “canonization”, people will unfairly label Sk8 as Queerbait. And I have many Feelings about this- mostly frustration.

But we’re only mid-season. I can only guess where the show is going to go and only make assumptions about fandom behavior based on personal experience, and there’s a high possibility I’ll be proven totally wrong so... take whatever I say with a grain of salt. But anyway, let’s get on with it.

Fundamentally, Sk8 isn’t shoujo, it’s not BL- it’s a sports anime. And while that doesn’t preclude a total absence of romance between its characters, ultimately those aren’t the kinds of relationships that sports anime concerns itself with. The most prominent relationships you’ll see will be more along the lines of Teammates and Rivals (there's also a third dynamic I'm calling Opponents which is Not the same as Rivals but the Opponents dynamic is less relevant to my point so I'll focus on just the first two).

However, it's not hard to see why romantic interpretations are so common among fans of sports anime. At their core, the basis of Teammate and Rival dynamics bear many similarities to that of a compelling romance. Both Teammate and Rival relationships are built upon two characters' mutual admiration and respect for one another, they involve characters learning from one another and being inspired to push themselves to be their best. There's a great deal of trust involved, as is vulnerability, communication, and empathy. In other words, all the essentials of any healthy relationship.

But context and genre are important. I think that a good romance is one that is unique to its characters specific personalities and needs, as well as is believable within the context of the setting and story. For an anime like Sk8, I would find an on-screen kiss strange and out of place (unless it was done for comedic effect which would be... bad).

I'm reminded of this quote from Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which is one of my all time favorite films:

"Do all lovers feel as though they are inventing something? I know the gestures. I imagined them all waiting for you."

And that basically sums up what I've described, albeit more poetically. Love is invention. Romantic gestures form a unique language between lovers. And if I may add, genre and narrative establish the basis for the emotional significance of these gestures.

In a genre like action/thriller, one of the most meaningful things a character can do is risk their safety or straight up sacrifice themselves for another, because bodily harm and physical risks drive the tension in these kinds of narratives. In the romance genre, confessions, physical intimacy, and grand romantic displays serve the same purpose. In something like sports anime, I argue that its gestures like physically accommodating for your teammate, supporting them when they feel dejected, and being motivated to train harder and be better for the sake of being allowed to stand beside them, that hold equivalent significance.

But this is all broadly speaking, and genre is just one element. Characters’ personalities, habits, insecurities, and trauma, as well as a story’s themes, further specify the kinds of gestures that hold the most meaning in a narrative.

Let’s look again at Portrait of a Lady on Fire, on my favorite scenes:

Portrait is interested in subverting the power imbalance inherent between the Artist and the Muse, the Voyeur and the Subject, the Looker and she who is Looked At. Heloise’s observations of Marianne hold great significance because of this theme; she disrupts the power imbalance by taking back agency as the Subject, demonstrating that she is just as capable of Looking at the Artist just as the Artist does at her. This is visually represented by the framing of the final shot. With the camera pulled back, we now see Marianne as Heloise has been seeing her, and she is now subject to being visually scrutinized in the same way that Heloise has been up to this point in the film.

This scene is so poignant because the romantic gesture it depicts ties heavily to the story’s themes, its characters’ personalities, and its existence is believable within its genre.

Now, let’s bring this all back to Sk8. In this show, what sort of gestures are given the most significance?

Skateboarding. Duh.

Basically, this line establishes that “basis for emotional significance” that I mentioned earlier, such that skating is the means by which characters and relationships are developed and the plot is driven forward, that any and everything related to skating potentially holds symbolic meaning.

And specifically, equating the act of skating to love then allows for more romantic interpretations of all kinds of scenes. Take for example, these parallel sets of shots from ep 1:

(I mean cmon look at his tiny blush, it’s fucking adorable) And:

In a show that equates skating to a “ritual of love”, these scenes can be realistically be interpreted as Langa and Reki falling in love with one another. Skating acts as both the catalyst for their relationship as well as later on being the means by which they express their feelings and develop their relationship.

Skating is their love language.

Ok, I’ll try to wrap this up since this post has gotten wayyy too long. But basically my point is that Renga is about as canon as this show could possibly make it within the confines of its genre and narrative. Romance in sports anime is different from romance in shoujo, but it’s romance all the same, in the same way that different people express love in different ways.

A kiss and confession is not the only means by which a ship can become canon. And I personally would much rather have this kind of carefully crafted symbolism than a kiss just randomly shoehorned in.

But I understand that in the face of centuries of censorship, cop-outs, and barely believable and forced heteronormativity, people want same-sex intimacy onscreen, unapologetic and normalized. I get that.

But in my opinion, Sk8 isn’t queerbait, and it shouldn’t be accused as such just because its characters won’t kiss onscreen. I think this show depicts a wonderful and loving relationship between two boys, that isn’t any less loving just because it doesn’t fit into conventional romantic tropes.

Edit: I did a followup post about Sk8 and its queer representation here, where I go more in depth into the ways that Sk8 represents queerness through beyond its implied homo-romantic relationships.

So yeah, I’d love to hear yalls thoughts :)

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 25, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Holy crap, Episode 25! We’re halfway through! *Cue Bon Jovi*

Hunt Invitation

After taking a nice long break to watch Word of Honor pick lotus pods, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli return to stressing over the shitshow that is the post-Sunshot cultivation world. Jin Zixuan has come to invite them to the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, with a special invitation from his mother to Jiang Yanli. Jiang Cheng reacts to this in a mature and reasonable manner, while Wei Wuxian...doesn't.

On the surface, Jiang Cheng has matured in recent months; much more than Wei Wuxian, with his secret burdens, has. But it's only on the surface, as we'll see later in the episode, when Jiang Cheng's insecurity will take the reins.

Jin Zixuan is adorably pleased by Jiang Yanli's acceptance of the invitation. Wei Wuxian is less pleased, but sort of tries to suck it up. 

Jin Zixuan kind of undercuts the romance of his errand by asking Wei Wuxian for the Yin tiger amulet as soon as Jiang Yanli is out of earshot. 

As always, Jin Zixuan makes an impression by being the best Jin currently in existence, but the Jins are terrible. JZX is working to advance his dad's ambitions, and as such he is currently Wei Wuxian's enemy.  

(more after the cut)

Opening Ceremonies

There's a bunch of cultivators arranged for the opening ceremony. Later someone will say that this is more than 5 thousand people. Ok, sure.

As I've said before, it's best to think of it like a theatre production and assume the other 4,900 people are offstage or, you know, painted on the backdrop.  

The young lead cultivators from the four main clans are standing together. Nie Huaisang is trying out some new body armor.

The clan leaders are seated up on the stage, along with Jin Furen and Jiang Yanli. Unfortunately Jin Furen doesn't seem to have a personal name that I can discover. Her title Fūrén ( 夫人)  means she's the primary wife of the head of the family, according to this excellent meta. 

So “Madame Jin” is a decent translation...if you're French?  I feel like instead of English subtitles including borrowed words from French (”Marquis” in NIH), Greek (”Water of Lethe” in WOH), and other European languages, we could try borrowing Chinese words instead. Jin Zixuan's mom is titled, not named, Jin Furen. Since we don’t know her actual name, I'll call her that and abbreviate it JFR.

Wei Wuxian's childishness continues at the opening of the hunt, as does Jiang Yanli's encouragement of his childishness. I know she's had a rough couple of years, and it's understandable to want to baby her little brother out of a sense of nostalgia. But it's not good for him, and she shouldn't do it; she should encourage him to be more mature, just as she does with Jiang Cheng.

War Crimes Contest

Jin Guangyao says they're going to have an archery competition, and they're going to liven it up by endangering some prisoners. These prisoners are Wens in Wen cultivator uniforms, meaning they're not the noncombatants that were being hunted down earlier. But they’re still helpless people in chains. 

There are three different reactions when the Wen prisoners are brought out.  All the Jins are pleased, or neutral. All of the Jiangs, including Wei Wuxian, are upset.

The Nies and the Lans, what we see of them, are a little shocked, but not obviously upset. Based on those reactions, it seems like this is a maneuver that in-world is considered shocking and cruel, but not necessarily unethical or immoral.  Shocking, cruel displays of power are pretty normal in this world; remember when Wen Chao lit a Lan cultivator on fire just to say hello, and nobody complained? 

This whole scenario, of course, has been designed to provoke Wei Wuxian. One major goal of this event, and the whole reason for wanting Wei Wuxian to come,  is to get the Yin Tiger amulet.  Making him lose his shit in front of 100 5000 cultivators is a good step toward compelling him to hand the amulet over.  

We see Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli both signaling Wei Wuxian to keep it together, and he takes a step back and tries to chill.  

Meanwhile, Jin Zixuan seems annoyed by all this, and goes to take a shot at it, making it clear from his demeanor that this is easy and JGY is making a show of nothing. 

He hovers in the air and makes a perfect shot, pleasing most of the crowd and impressing Jiang Yanli. 

Then his cousin Jin Zixun taunts the crowd, challenging anyone to do better.  This presents a bit of a problem for Wei Wuxian. For the sake of the Wen prisoners, Wei Wuxian should just take this taunting and let the contest end, if no-one else is willing to take a shot. But for the sake of the Jiang Clan’s status, and his continued control of the Yin Tiger amulet, he needs to put the Jins in their place.  

Every Day is Blindfold Day

This moral dilemma is resolved with an abrupt tonal shift, where the humanitarian concerns of all parties seem to vanish. Wei Wuxian flirts embarrassingly with Lan Wangji and then goes as far over the top in besting Jin Zixuan as it's possible to go.

The flirting hits differently, incidentally, when you edit Jiang Cheng's annoyed reaction out of it: 

Lan Wangji doesn't seem embarrassed by Wei Wuxian's request, despite it happening in front of 100 5000 of their fellow cultivators. He looks Wei Wuxian straight in the eye for longer than necessary before turning away; it’s not exactly stern disapproval. We’ll get very used to this look, in Wei Wuxian’s second life. 

Fortunately, Wei Wuxian carries a blindfold with him wherever he goes, (gifset here), and he is such a good cultivator he can hit 5 parallel targets simultaneously without even holding his bow straight or tightening the string.

(OP fixed the angle of the bow for this gif, which is why everyone is standing on a hill in the background).

Everyone is pleased by this shot except Jins Guangyao and Zixun; even the Jin cultivators are clapping, and Madame Jin is presumably this happy any time Jin Guangyao’s plans go wrong.

With that they start the hunt. Jin Zixun challenges Wei Wuxian to do the whole hunt blindfolded. Wei Wuxian agrees, but the censorship committee said no, apparently, so we don’t get to see that.

Flute Hunting

We do get to see Wei Wuxian luring monsters into his nets by being too sexy for his robe, too sexy for his robe, and playing the flute.  

We also get to see Jiang cultivators looking puzzled while random monster roars happen in the woods around them. We do not get to see any monsters, which is probably just as well.

Jiang Cheng is annoyed and concerned, muttering "I told you not to overdo it" which means he didn't, you know, tell Wei Wuxian NOT to do this, just not to do it quite so well. Jiang Cheng knows what Wei Wuxian’s abilities are and he is making use of him, as he should, but he doesn’t have the courage of his convictions. 

Tree Confession

Wei Wuxian sees Lan Wangji and starts to say hi, but then he has a desaturated flashback to Lan Xichen telling him to back off, so he stops himself.  But then Lan Wangji comes over to talk to him.

Lan Wangji starts off talking to him about his latest anti-resentment musical discoveries, and Wei Wuxian pushes back, even calling him Lan Wangji, but gently.  Wei Wuxian asks "who am I to you?" and Lan Wangji turns the question right back at him, then waits a looooooong time, eyes downcast, while Wei Wuxian thinks of a serious answer.

Wei Wuxian says "I used to treat you as my zhījǐ" --which, as we’ve discussed before, is variously translated soulmate, confidant, intimate friend--with a strong meaning of "the person who truly knows me." Lan Wangji says "I still am." Coming from Lan Wangji, who NEVER says how he feels about Wei Wuxian or about anything, really, this sounds a lot like a confession of love. 

It definitely takes the form, visually, of a love confession, as Lan Wangji speaks, then gazes at Wei Wuxian while he waits for a reply.  Wei Wuxian's reply is this:

I don't think Wei Wuxian is oblivious (I'm speaking strictly of CQL, not MZDS, as always with these posts; they are different works). I think he loves Lan Wangji back, and knows it. But Chenqing and everything it represents are between them.

Lan Wangji is quite literally NOT his zhījǐ any more, because he doesn't truly know Wei Wuxian right now. He loves him desperately, but he doesn't know about his core, and hasn't accepted his cultivation method.  So Wei Wuxian answers his confession by showing him Chenqing, effectively declining to accept his still-conditional love.

Snake Measuring

Next we get terrible hetero courtship in the form of Jin Zixuan finding snake discharge on the ground and talking to Jiang Yanli about comparative snake measuring. Seriously: that is the actual conversation that they are having.

Jin Zixuan boasts for a bit, and then awkwardly tries to ask Jiang Yanli on a date. When she turns him down he gets mad, because he's a typical heterosexual dude even though he's secretly a delightful person...very, very secretly. Jiang Yanli, for her part, can't string a fucking sentence together to save her life whenever he's around, so she's not helping their mutual understanding. 

Lan Wangji attempts to hold Wei Wuxian back from beating Jin Zixuan’s ass yet again, but eventually JYL wants to leave, JZX tells her to wait, and WWX intervenes. Why doesn't Jiang Yanli have a maid or Jiang cultivator with her while she's on a date, incidentally? These kids are confused about whether they're doing feudal patriarchy or whether they're doing modern social life.

Jin vs. Jiang

Wei Wuxian jumps in between Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, which JZX objects to. Jin Zixuan has no fucking business objecting and Wei Wuxian is 100% right, at this point. As soon as WWX shows up JZX should hand her off to her Shidi, bow, and leave her the fuck alone. Instead, he draws his sword on Wei Wuxian, and kind of on Jiang Yanli since she's right behind Wei Wuxian.  Fortunately, Lan Wangji blocks him. 

This instantly blows up into a Jiang-Jin Clan conflict, with Jiang Cheng unfortunately absent since he let his unmarried sister go off in the woods alone with the son of the Cultivaton world's most famous lecher. It looks like it’s a personal conflict, but since Jin Zixuan already told Wei Wuxian directly that Jin Guangshan wants his amulet, any arguments between them are part of a larger power struggle. 

Cousin Jin Zixun comes running up to start shit. Wei Wuxian pretends--I am SURE he's pretending--not to know who he is. The dude hassles Wei Wuxian every time he sees him; Wei Wuxian is a troll, and right now CJXZ is butting in to something that doesn't concern him. Rather than argue, Wei Wuxian insults him by telling him he’s not memorable.

Jin Furen shows up with several maids and cultivator dudes in tow, which is the proper way for a highborn woman to wander around in the woods. She also brings Clan Leader Yao, because if it's Wei Wuxian Blaming Hours, Yao is going to be there.  

I initially found the deep friendship between superhot Yi Zuyuan and dumpy Jin Furen implausible, but then I remembered that my lifelong bestie is a smokin' hot redhead with impeccable fashion sense, while I am a roly-poly nerd.  Friends don’t always match. Also, Jin Furen's actress, Hu Xiaoting, looks like this: 

...so she is actually hot in real life. Not as hot as Zhang Jingtong (who plays Yu Ziyuan) but literally nobody is as hot as Zhang Jingtong. Don't @ me, you know I'm right.

This is a heck of a long scene, so we’ll pick it up in part two! 

Soundtrack: Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Jovi

Writing prompt: Newly-divorced, cold-hearted CEO Yu Ziyuan buys an apartment next door to newly-divorced, warm-hearted pastry chef ...uhh let's call her Jin Dàngāo (蛋糕), sure. She can name her business after herself. 

They discover their daughter & son are in the same college class, and so they meet up over coffee....several times...trying to matchmake their hopeless, hapless kids, while bonding over their own terrible (former) taste in husbands. Who will Cupid strike first, the kids or the moms?

[neon-junkie]

Hey everyone,

This will be my final post addressing the fandom conflict that has quite frankly gotten out of hand. Although it’s very likely this post will be picked apart, no matter how well intended it is, I will no longer be addressing, interacting, or responding to any further accusations made against me. Of course, if people have questions from a genuine place of interest, I will be happy to clarify anything for you, either via DM’s or non-anon asks. I will not be answering anonymous asks on this, as I do not want anything else posted on this topic. 

As a side note: For anyone tempted to wade into the debate, I sincerely ask you not to get involved. Do not make yourself a target, do not feel you need to ‘pick a side’, and please do not think you have an obligation to reason with either side. It seems to be well past the point of that, so please find people you get along with in this fandom and curate a space for yourself away from all this conflict.

Warning: This post will contain uncensored slurs, mentions of racism, paedophilia, transphobia, LGBTQ+ phobia, death threats, threats of violence, targeted harassment, and abusive language.

To start off, I want to apologise to everyone who has somehow gotten drawn into this mess by either defending me, following me, or interacting with my content. This whole situation with me began well over a year ago when I wrote a crack-smut fic featuring Javier/Micah, posted back in August 2019. A crack fic is defined as “a work of fan fiction that is absurd, surprising or ridiculous, often intentionally.” It was inspired by a camp interaction between Micah and Javier, and like many other fanfiction writers, I decided to write smut about it. The fic was titled ‘Dirty Fucking Greaser’, and if that shocks you, I’m sure you can imagine how shocked I was to be informed afterwards that ‘Greaser’ was in fact a very serious 19th century slur for a Mexican individual. My first encounter with this word as insult was via RDR2, where it was used like a very casual insult. My only prior knowledge of this term was in regards to the greasers youth subculture, so the severity was lost on me. This obviously does not excuse my ignorance, and I should have researched the term better, but this is just again to apologize for that oversight, the insensitivity, and to highlight that my use of this term was not meant maliciously. Following this being pointed out, I proceeded to make 3 separate apology posts [Unfortunately I can only find the third one: HERE], renamed the fic, and added slur warnings in both the tags and the fic description. When I continued to receive complaints and increasingly aggressive abuse (which included being told my apologies weren’t good enough and I should delete my account and even kill myself), I attempted to delete the fic and mistakenly abandoned it instead. I contacted AO3 to see if it could be removed, but they said there was nothing they could do. I contacted their DMCA takedown team, who also said they couldn't remove it. Please note that all this happened 7-8 months ago, and has been dragged on for almost a year. 

So, from this one unfortunate incident, I’ve been branded a racist, and someone who attacks POC, when all I have done is tried to defend myself and correct my past mistakes. I could have done this more gracefully in the past, but frankly when you’re suddenly the target of unrelenting callout posts and nasty anons, it’s very hard to be open to criticism of this sort, but this is what I’m trying to move past.

Over the course of the year, this one mistake has spiralled, and the crusade against me has somehow coincided with moral conflicts over certain characters and ships. This has devolved into dehumanizing abuse, witch hunts, death threats, doxxing, anon hate, and much more unpleasant behaviour.

I have been in fandom for a very long time, and at the heart of all fandom circles is the fear of censorship and subsequent purges, so the ‘ship and let ship’ mentality was more or less the pinnacle of fandom philosophy. And yes, this can be problematic in some contexts. People have their right to be uncomfortable with content, have a right to be offended by content, but that is not content meant for you. This argument has devolved into ‘what material is morally right to engage with’ and that is a mentality in which fandom will not survive, because for every person who is telling me I’m an awful person for writing about Micah, there are three other people telling me how much they appreciate me making that content. For every fic in which I characterize Javier and Flaco a certain way, some people are made uncomfortable by it and others tell me they enjoy it. And this isn’t just white people, but POC too, which makes it very difficult to know whether I am genuinely in the right or the wrong, especially when it comes to the concept of ‘fetishization’ which I have been made aware I need to educate myself on. I intend to do so, but I disagree with the common accusation that finding non-white men romantically and sexually attractive is inherently fetishistic and makes me racist. It’s pushing a catch-22; don’t find POC sexually attractive? Racist. Find POC sexually attractive? Racist.

I am always willing to be (politely) approached about anything my readers may be concerned about, but if it’s something I’ve specifically tagged for (such as themes, scenarios, etc.) I’m afraid you consented to reading it and with that I cannot help you. You are just as responsible for curating your space and what you see/read just as much as I am responsible for tagging it appropriately.  

On the topic of racism, I want to bring up my prior use of ‘white racism’ which has obviously been a point of contention among both white and people of colour. The (literal) black vs white concept of racism is incredibly American-centric, and as someone from Europe, which has a history of oppression against white cultures and those of people of colour, it feels inaccurate. However, this has recently been discussed with me and I came to the realization that while growing up, especially in the UK, ‘xenophobia’ and ‘racism’ were marketed as one and the same. So, with this little revelation in mind, I will no longer be using ‘white racism’ (Or ‘reverse racism’) to identify the abuse I have been receiving, but will instead call it by what it really is; dehumanizing, debasing, xenophobic, puritanical.   

Very briefly, I will also touch on the NewAustin situation, which has also been dredged into this. I did not ‘chase a POC from tumblr’. NA was a minor who for some reason was on my 18+ blog and took issue with me, likely from the ongoing discourse regarding my fic and initial mistake, as well as my interest in Micah. They were subsequently harassed into deleting their account by anonymous hate following various conflicts with other users for their support of me or their ships in general. I have never encouraged my followers to target anyone, and have always asked to be blocked and blacklisted by those who do not like me or my content. When NewAustin messaged me following the deletion of their blog, I was admittedly indifferent to the point of being unkind, and accused them of sending the hate themselves. This was based on the anon hate being racially-driven without there being any prior knowledge or publication that NA was a person of colour. This aside, I should have at the time, whether I believed it was my followers or not, condemned this behaviour. Regardless of the issues I’ve had with these people, it is never ever ok to send hate to anyone, no matter the motivation behind it, and that should have been stated at the time.

All I can do at this point is acknowledged and apologize for my past mistakes, and try to improve myself going forward.  

It is not my place to dictate the morals of the character/ship-aspect of this argument, and I am not interested in waging a war of opinion. This post is simply to clarify how I am involved in this, and why I am so viscerally targeted. You can draw your own conclusions, but I am no longer interested in this endless back and forth.

To my mutuals/followers, I stand by my request to not interact and to block and move on, as this is what I’ll be doing too.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope it makes things from my perspective a little clearer.

-RAT <3

EDIT: Just after this post was made, the fic in question was finally removed. I had to go through a DMCA take down, which can take months, since I originally abandoned the fic, thinking that meant delete. I explain this in more detail above. Said fic is gone, and has been gone since this post has been around.

[potteresque-ire]

Gg,

I’ll say this using the simplest way too. I’ll also say this, knowing it doesn’t solve anything ~

You didn’t start the culture of comment control (控評) and the fan circles that execute them, which stifled any rational discussions about entertainers. You didn’t start the culture of treating constructive criticisms—even opinions that fall short of being praises—the same as malicious slandering, something to be buried under a pile of positive comments, of rainbow farts. You didn’t start the longstanding frustrations among netizens, who felt they couldn’t even gossip freely when entertainment is all about the gossip. You didn’t ignite the antagonistic views of non-fans against fans that would one day turn into support for that movement against you.

You didn’t criticise fan circle culture on one hand, and encourage the practice of comment control on another. You didn’t tie the act of comment control to patriotism, didn’t mobilise fan circles to perform comment control on message boards in support of the Hong Kong police in 2019, taking advantage of the fan circle’s high level of organisation, their experience in performing such task, and their intense need to be seen as patriotic such that their idol will be viewed favourably by the government. You didn’t praise these fans who were there for their idol 阿中哥哥 (Chinese GeGe) — a virtual idol who personified the Chinese government—and called them patriotic. 

You didn’t make performative patriotism a pre-requisite for entertainers to survive in c-ent. You didn’t require performative patriotism to be placed above logic, above personal preferences in expression. You didn’t portray performative patriotism as a goal sufficient to justify any means. You didn’t teach impressionable young fans that as long as the cause was deemed by the powers-that-be as patriotic and honourable, one can ignore the laws, scale the Great Firewall and go to otherwise banned websites; one can cause havoc on and trample on their perceived enemy’s communities. 

You didn’t equate silencing one’s opponent with patriotism.

You didn’t market reporting culture as an honourable, noble deed. You didn’t resurrect reporting culture from its Cultural Revolution’s grave, with the knowledge that it had always been a weapon against people expressing different opinions. You didn’t ask your media arm to pen articles about the rewards to be made by reporting. You didn’t list the people who had reported on your official website like they had made honour roll. You didn’t make reporting so open, so righteous-sounding that many didn’t think twice to join the effort, even if it was only about a piece of fiction they didn’t like.

You didn’t make reporting of certain content on a website sufficient grounds for censoring an entire website. You didn’t make censoring a thing. You didn’t censor one of the few remaining websites left with relatively free expressions, while the rest of your team was already performing heavy-handed censorship on a certain pandemic—a certain pandemic that had killed, that had brought much anger, sadness and frustration. You didn’t put a chokehold on people who had already felt they had no room left to talk, when they were bound to their homes and could do little but talk. But vent.

You didn’t create a system where venting against the powerful could get one into trouble. You didn’t marry the politically powerful with the commercially powerful. You didn’t build the society where the few people left with perceived higher social status and who could still be attacked with little consequences were entertainers—especially young, recently break-through stars with little backing from the media companies, and the commercially and politically powerful people behind these companies.

You didn’t start 227.

The moment the axe fell on AO3, Gg, there was very little you could do, very little you could say. 227 was indeed an explosion, from too high a pressure from freedoms of speech that have been too strangled. They said you were mute? So were the theys who called you that, who didn’t have the guts to take their complaint to those who deserve it. You became the eye of a storm you didn’t brew, the eye that could’ve been anyone else—anyone else who wouldn’t have known better what to do. 

Offer guidance? Exactly what kind of guidance? Tell your fans that AO3, which does host material offensive to the Chinese government, has the right to remain inside the Firewall? Tell your fans that reporting is wrong? 

Is your guidance asking the solo and cp fans to keep their peace? Fans fight. Solos and cpfs fight. These fights happen on a daily basis, and there would’ve been no 227 if they were the cause of 227—because everyday would’ve been a 227. 227 became 227 because one of these fights, which happened to be between your fans, also happened to have knocked upon one of the most important pillars that prop up an authoritarian dictatorship: suppression of the freedom of speech; it stumbled upon what had already been a field of landmines, the buried anger of the people who have been silenced, censored over the years.

COVID put in a full, fresh layer of landmines, still buried shallow and waiting for inexperienced youngsters—who could be fans or non-fans, fans of any idol—to trip over their sharp corners.  

These days, people call the youngsters who tripped over them the shrimps.  One explosion triggered another and in the din, you were accused of not warning the youngsters, and thrown into the exploding field for punishment. To set off all the other landmines in danger of exploding. No one asked why the landmines were there. 

Appropriately, perhaps, or ironically ... have you thought about this, Gg? That your silence might have played a role to your survival in the industry, the support you’ve got lately from the state media? Because you took one for them, for those who created the storm and buried the landmines, who did all the things you didn’t do. Because you became a convenient punching bag for a country of 1.4 billion who needed something to punch. Because you took the blows gracefully and without complaint, didn’t utter a word that would’ve made obvious the instigator of the damage you’re now apologising for. You eased the guilt in the people doing the punching by having so many gifts they didn’t have; it must have given some people cold joy to land their fist on your gorgeous face. You’ve gritted your teeth and stayed silent even after the water armies, the yxh’s entered the scene, eager to feed on your corpse. The rot they smelled was the commercial value on you.

Have you thought about this, Gg, that you might’ve already performed the social responsibility implicitly demanded of you and in flying colours, by being the punching bag, the landmine sweeper? That when you promise to take more social responsibility in the future, that you may be asked to do something similar?

No one asked why the landmines were there. They’ll pile up again.

Yes, I’m frustrated. I read your letter and wanted to scream. I understand why you said everything you did, understand the realistic need to issue an apology and I respect and adore you, as always, for your maturity, your emotional intelligence. This letter is therefore neither a complaint nor a criticism against you; this is me, venting my frustration, from that half of me that knows painfully well that your letter is necessary and the right thing to do.  

Still, the other half of me wants to say your letter is utter nonsense.

Because your only mistake, Gg, is that you’re too likeable, and too likeable, perhaps, at the wrong time. You have too many fans who made all these issues you didn’t create so much more visible. You had too many fans at a time when COVID took too many victims, when the whole sociopolitical climate demands one voice and when every fan of yours is an individual with their own voice, their own likes and dislikes. You have too many fans who dearly love you but also require you to become a “public figure”—I’m putting this term in quotes as you did—a “public figure” who can help them decipher the conflicting messages the society is sending them re: the meaning, the responsibility of a fan, a “public figure” who, as you admit yourself, requires construction from Gg the Idol and Gg the regular person from Chongqing.

Gg the Idol and Gg the regular person from Chongqing who, you also said, require mutual acceptance. Gg the Idol and Gg the regular person from Chongqing who, therefore, must have significant conflicts—mutual acceptance isn’t necessary otherwise.

Who’s this “Gg the public figure” that will emerge? Or, what? How human will he/it be? How much will he/it still be you? Where are you going to be in this “public figure”?

And that’s the most difficult thought to endure this morning. To become a better self—you keep emphasising, as if you weren’t good enough, kind enough, courteous and respectful and professional enough to begin with.

A better self, may I ask, to who?