#also because sometimes they're thoughts disagreeing on opinions i see in my dash

[hwiyoungies]

sometimes i want to share some thoughts on here but then i remember some people have the reading comprehension of a peanut so i simply don't and save myself from the pain

[bthump]

This isn’t specifically about you and more about the anons, because I’ve noticed that you sometimes get requests to respond to meta posts other people make and something about that makes me a bit uncomfortable. Since your meta posts are widely liked by a big part of this community, it sometimes feels like you’re being kinda requested to „debunk“ other meta posts. Diversity in opinions is so important for a good fandom atmosphere and some of the anons you get seem to wanna stir up hostility and I don’t like it. Since I like some of your meta posts, but also find myself agreeing with other people, I just feel weird about this dynamic, you know? How do you feel about it?

I think that's a fair concern but honestly, I don't see it as inherently a problem. This might be my 00s internet bias here lol, but I tend to view meta on a public platform as fair game for response or external commentary - which includes my own posts. My meta is here to be read by anyone who wants to, and to provoke thought and discussion, and that's generally what I assume of others' meta as well.

Like I recognize that attitudes have changed in the era of mostly unmoderated spaces and reblogs and the lack of diverse comms with their own norms and discourse running rampant lol, and so it's often considered automatically rude to disagree with people now, but I think that can only extend so far. Like, I don't reblog posts just to disagree with them (unless they're a friend and I know they're cool with discussion) because I know it sucks when you keep getting notes from people who are liking or reblogging the take you disagree with, but I don't think that should mean not discussing other people's meta at all, as long as it's done respectfully of course.

And I understand why someone might want a second opinion on something they read. I think everyone should think for themselves and form their own opinions, and I completely agree that diversity of opinion is important in any fandom. But not everyone has confidence in their own analysis, or the learned skills for criticism, and I think it's reasonable to seek out other viewpoints and decide which seems most correct to you, or use them as boucing off points to figure out what you believe. I definitely don't want to be the only Berserk meta blog out there, and I'm more than happy to agree to disagree with most people. I'm not an authority on the story lol and people are free to agree or disagree with me however they see fit.

That said, I'm always a little wary about tone and intent, especially in Berserk fandom, because I'm not here to get into arguments and I try to make that clear. But I take most asks in good faith. Sometimes I might go a little too far with that lol, but honestly I'd rather come across as naive than hostile. If I found out that someone was trying to start a fight between me and someone else, or was using my posts to dunk on someone else, or if followers of mine took it as a cue to harass someone, I'd absolutely say something and stop answering those asks. (Hopefully we're all chill enough over here that this doesn't happen, btw. As far as I'm aware I've never incited anything like that and I've personally only ever seen fandom arguments started by people mad about Griffith fans existing, but tbf I also don't pay attention to whatever's happening outside of my dash.)

But yeah I don't think that's what's happening here, and I don't want to assume someone's trying to start shit unless there's clear evidence for that. Like in the last ask I got like this, the anon did specify that they agreed with the post they wanted me to comment on, and were just seeking more opinions/wondering what my own take was, and I think that's reasonable.

Idk, this is definitely one of those things where I know there are different valid opinions about etiquette. But I generally abide by the 'do unto others' rule, including here. I blog with the expectation that anyone can read what I write and agree or disagree, and that I might inspire other discussion. Sometimes I get nervous about being linked to notably hostile fan spaces, like the berserk reddit, but it has happened with virtually the same motivation as those anons (what do you guys think of this person's take?) and ultimately I'm fine with it, and even a little flattered.

All that said, at the end of the day I do think that it would be best for anyone who sends an ask referencing someone else's analysis to be specific about what they want to know, rather than a general 'what do you think of this?' question. Both because it shows why you're asking and what you're interested in and leaves less room for doubting your motivation, and because it makes it easier to answer.

[clotpolesonly]

I feel you re: fandom exhaustion. Have you tried unfollowing/blocking people with takes you don’t like? I’ve found that fandom a much more relaxing place once I started not letting the stressful stuff cross my dash in the first place. Sometimes it meant unfollowing someone who posted a bunch of other stuff I actually liked, but if it meant not going into a comment-reading spiral every time they shared stuff I disagreed with, I thought it was totally worth it.

(even if they were only sharing something so they could rebut or disagree with it; like yeah I like that they’re on my side but if they’re going to keep dragging untagged takes I dislike or discourse onto my dash, I would still give them the block/unfollow because intentionally or not they were still causing me stress)

oh i've unfollowed LOTS of people. i've unfollowed enough people that i'm starting to run out of the content i want on my dash, cuz it's hard to find the good stuff without the bad and even blogs that i thought were innocuous occasionally end up slipping shit onto my dash. i've only actually blocked a handful of people (the ones that are Like That™ enough not to leave well enough alone), and i've also blacklisted those names so posts that have additions from them or even reference to them are no longer shown on my dash (though i do see "hidden for X", which often lets me know the person who reblogged it follows them, which is a red flag all on its own a lot of the time🙃)

and discord is its own mess. i get 95% of my social interaction from my discord fandom servers, and i love them to death, honestly i do, i've lived in those for YEARS and been happy to do so. but, again.......it all felt a lot less stressful in years past. it's the hazard of large servers that you're guaranteed to have conflicting opinions in there, and in most regards that's one of the things that i absolutely love about it. discussing things from various angles, getting different viewpoints, having actual conversations about the show(s) that i love are what make fandom worth it. but conflicting over the same things over and over again, seeing the same cold takes that i would usually just unfollow someone for on tumblr and not really being able to do anything about it or escape it (can't blacklist words/terms on discord like on tumblr, you just have to wholesale block individuals, which i can't really do because i moderate several servers and mods can't just ignore things 😅 in their servers), is turning out to be very grating nowadays in ways that it didn't used to be, even if it's only a fraction of the actual activity. even just the passive aggressive mention of some of these topics is enough to make me feel like shit for the rest of the day.

same with fic. i've hardly read any fanfiction at all in MONTHS, not because i don't love the characters anymore, but because there's no way to tell what take the author is gonna have or what fanon characterization they're gonna lean into, and getting halfway through a fic before being hit with That Stuff™ kinda makes me wanna cry by now. the subtle stuff never gets tagged for, but it sure as fuck can still ruin my week. it's safer to just not bother. and that SUCKS.

my anxiety has been SKY HIGH lately, and i can't tell if it's because i'm already super anxious for outside reasons and that's making the fandom stuff worse, or if the fandom reasons are making me super anxious on their own and making the outside stuff worse. it all feeds into each other and everything is just bad.

and there's not a whole lot that can be done about it besides, like. leaving. which i'm not gonna do. because i do love the show and i do love interacting with other fans of it and sharing ideas and jokes and spitballing story ideas. without all of that, what would i even do with myself??? as previously mentioned, this stuff is 95% of my social circle 😅 and i have nothing else to replace it with. unfortunately, TW still takes up the majority of my brain, and trying to cut that out would just make me isolated and even more miserable.

it just really really sucks that the fandom that used to feel like home.....doesn't anymore.

[larry-hiatus]

Keep posting lies about Taylor R! So we can all mass report your racist tinhat and PR blogs! "Stereotypes permeate our society through media depictions and social interactions. Experiencing both a combination of race and gender, Black women are faced with stereotypes of being mean, aggressive, or overly assertive. A perception that created the “Angry Black Woman,” a label that stereotypes Black women and manipulates characteristics about them into a negative light."

Sorry anon, I'm really not sure what you're talking about???

I don't really post about the women that the boys are seen with, other than the occasional reblog, and I don't share anything mean about them. I checked through the last ten days worth of posts on my blog, and I only saw one reblog about it being a PR stunt, but I believe that about every girl, not just this one.

PR stunts are real things in the celeb world, and there have been many of them throughout history. And they make sense from a marketing standpoint! It's a way to get people talking about a celebrity, which their PR team might one for one reason or another. For H0livia, it was to promote their movie. This time, some people think it's to keep Harry relevant during his break, and possibly to further TayR's career (but I know nothing about that). Another wide belief/reason for Harry's connections to women is for bearding purposes. In any case, whether these relationships are truly PR or if they are real, we usually never know the truth. However, it's okay to have opinions as long as they are respectful, which I always try to be. I also always keep my thoughts and feelings away from the celebrities themselves, as in, I don't tweet them directly. Like I said though, I honestly don't really post about the women in general. But believing this to be a PR stunt, personally for me, definitely doesn't have anything to do with TayR's race. I held the same belief with TaySwift, EmRatta, H0livia, pretty much everyone.

It appears that you have pulled a quote from this article, The "Angry" Black Woman. I did not read the whole article, but I was curious what you were quoting. I am aware of the stereotype, and if TayR is receiving any racist hate from hate fandom, I definitely disagree with it and do not condone it. Regardless of whether people think it's a real relationship, or whether or not people like her, racism is never okay. I haven't seen any posts depicting her as "angry" or "mean" (I haven't really seen anything about her personality/actions at all), but my online experience definitely isn't the only one, so I'm not saying I don't believe that it's happening. Racism will be found pretty much anywhere, unfortunately, but I do try to not be involved in it. If I were to see that content on my dash from someone I follow who held those beliefs, I would definitely unfollow them.

The only post I can remember seeing regarding her race was something about how it's nice to see Harry with a POC because just about all of the women he's been connected to have been white. I don't remember what else the post said, and I don't remember if I shared it. But if I did share something racist, please know that it was not my intention, and I would appreciate if you would tell me which post so that I can remove it. I try my best, but I was raised in an ignorant bubble, so sometimes I make mistakes that I correct when I can.

All of that being said, I know nothing about TayR, so I really don't have any opinions about her as a person. I don't have any plans to get to know her or learn more about her because it doesn't really matter to me. I'm a fan of the boys; who they're seen with is just kind of extra stuff that I don't have much interest in. I don't really care to partake publicly in conversations regarding relationships (whether real or not) with women in the boys' lives, but I felt that it was important to respond to this message.

But anyway, I hope I cleared some things up. And if you don't like my "tinhatting," or anybody else's, please remember that the block button is your friend. You can report genuine racism or hate speech if you come across it, but in terms of just things you don't agree with, you're better off blocking and moving on. You will become tired and miserable if you try to fight every Larrie you find.

Have a good day!

[haleigh-sloth]

you were talking about something a bit similar yesterday so I'm sorry for being late to the conversation, but I just do not understand people who are fans of the LOV and yet are so vehemently hateful towards Midoriya, and in turn most of the other kids. I understand the criticism that sometimes the kids get things handed to them by the story, but tbh that is just to be expected of the protagonist characters in a shonen manga like this one. even so however, it's not like Midoriya gets off free of everything that he does? his actions and his sacrifices and very actually very rarely ever truly appreciated within the story, just because he is successful in most of his feats doesn't mean that the people around him necessarily Notice (him only getting one internship request after the sports festival despite displaying amazing power and critical thinking skills, the Stain Hosu incident, even in the VERY BEGINNING of the series when he runs forward to save Bakugou he says himself that he was only reprimanded for being so careless in his actions).

I see so many people who are (so ironically) only seeing the story in black and white, when in reality these kids, and Midoriya especially, are being negatively impacted by hero society just as much as the villains are, they're just experiencing it from a different angle. (Which adds a whole other layer to the Midoriya becoming the greatest hero plotline, because the society that he is also fighting against is the one that was shaped that way by his predecessor- albeit unintentionally.) Midoriya is going to be the one to try to save Shigaraki, Midoriya has already become the greatest hero by actively looking past the actions of Shig and the League and wanting to help them.

- I didn't get to finish my thought from the FULL ESSAY I sent earlier (my bad about how long that ended up being lmao) but...yeah I was saying about how Midoriya is already a better hero at 16 than most other pros because he actively wants to help the League. Midoriya is exactly the kind of hero that the villains, and Shigaraki in particular, needs in order to have the happy ending that so many want for him. I agree that the manga has been a bit of a drag-along for the past few...months tbh, and I am absolutely Livid at the way that Bones has structured the story, and it's causing a lot of boredom and Tons of tension with people, but I feel like a lot of villain fans are taking that out on the integrity of the characters themselves, which is causing a lot of the mischaracterizaton of Midoriya in particular. n idk, I just find it sort of ironic, DEFINITELY annoying, and in general just.... :/ yknow. just :/

I think it's completely valid for people to just simply not like certain characters for whatever reason they might have, im not here to police people's opinions, but when people's opinions come at the expense of misunderstanding pretty key elements of the characters / story they're talking about, that's when I have a problem. FINAL MESSAGE I promise lmao sorry again for the 600 page essay

You're good lol. In fact, I've discussed some of this in-depth in private with a tumblr friend. Again, I feel like my DMs are being read 👀 anyway lol

So obviously this is going to be a long ass post so I'll add a cut toward the top. But I wanna start off with: there's a lot to unpack here and I'm going to preface with, I agree with you. But I also have to say that I see both sides, but when it comes to vehemently hating a character and letting that hate for that character lead to bad takes (which I see for Deku and another character that I'll get to under the cut) I feel like the overall point people are trying to make loses its grip because it starts to just turn into bashing, and doesn't actually hold water with what's actually in the story.

"I just do not understand people who are fans of the LOV and yet are so vehemently hateful towards Midoriya, and in turn most of the other kids. I understand the criticism that sometimes the kids get things handed to them by the story, but tbh that is just to be expected of the protagonist characters in a shonen manga like this one."

I'll be honest, I see a lot of people love on the UA kids. Especially ones like Kirishima, Kaminari, Mina, Tsuyu, basically any of the ones with personalities that are beyond "I have to get stronger! I have to catch up with my classmates and live up to everyone's expectations!" Which I personally feel like pretty much all of the UA kids have as personalities, save for the main five, and the few above that I listed. But for the hatred toward Midoriya....oy. Where do I begin.

Well, I actually don't see a lot of Deku hate on my dash. I follow a very small number of blogs, most of which are pretty in line with my POV of the story and therefore, I don't see a lot of bad takes.

A little baby rant inside of this monster post:

Yes, I have come across extremist villain-stan blogs that, while I agree with some of their opinions on the villains, I don't agree with their opinions on the hero characters. I've unfollowed blogs like that, because they started exhausting me and making me upset, tbqh. Like yes, the villains are the best characters in the story. But guess what? They aren't the only ones in the story. We have other characters that are important to the overall themes and messages. I, personally, really like the hero kid:villain set up. Others I've seen want the heroes and villains completely separated in the story and for the villains to save themselves without any help from the heroes?? Makes zero sense because the story is about these becoming true heroes, and in order to do that they need to challenge themselves by saving a villain. So...blogs that were spouting that nonsense, I've unfollowed and stopped engaging with.

But back to Midoriya. Okay, I genuinely, genuinely like Midoriya! I've liked him from the beginning. He's not favorite, he's not even my second favorite. He's in my top 5 though. But the only dislike I personally see toward Midoriya on my blog is for these problematic things that have occurred:

Telling Shouto he thinks he's going to forgive his father because he's kind, making Natsuo feel bad for not forgiving his abusive POS father.

Trying to "reach" Dabi the same way he reached Shouto, only to just cause more harm.

Saying Endeavor is a mentor who made him stronger??? TO Dabi??

Teaming up with the fucking top 3

So....basically...any time Midoriya has been interjected into the Todoroki plot line, he's been less than likable--AFTER what he did for Shouto during the sports festival. That was a positive thing, and it actually kicked off the Todoroki plot line really really well. It got us into Shouto's inner world and started his story off nicely I think.

And you can argue that Midoriya's flaw is being blinded by hero society and seeing the good in everybody, BUT--

This was LITERALLY THE FIRST INTERACTION between Midoriya and Endeavor. THIS set the tone for the Todoroki plot. So....all that stuff up there that people hate about Midoriya, is definitely valid. I mean...I don't think it's worth hating him for but people can like and dislike who they want. But this just reiterates my belief that so many things in BNHA come to a fucking halt for Endeavor's bitch ass. The main character included.

"it's not like Midoriya gets off free of everything that he does? his actions and his sacrifices and very actually very rarely ever truly appreciated within the story, just because he is successful in most of his feats doesn't mean that the people around him necessarily Notice (him only getting one internship request after the sports festival despite displaying amazing power and critical thinking skills, the Stain Hosu incident, even in the VERY BEGINNING of the series when he runs forward to save Bakugou he says himself that he was only reprimanded for being so careless in his actions)"

So, I don't entirely disagree but I do have to disagree to an extent. Midoriya's consequences have been a topic for a while now and everyone says the same thing. Nothing ever comes back to him, he doesn't ever actually fail at anything. His failures don't actually hold him back or push him to challenge his beliefs. Like...narrative consequences here is what I'm talking about. Midoriya only got one offer after the sports festival, yes that's a consequence of putting your body through ridiculous strain and self-destructing in front of everyone like that. But it ended up working in his favor because he went with Gran Torino who taught him his next big move, full cowling, which I think we can all agree was a major power-up for him. So...it wasn't much of a consequence in the long run. It wasn't a set back. And you're right, he was reprimanded for rushing in to save Bakugo in the beginning, which is coming into play now when we see that it's actually hard for people to step in and save others because everyone is so trained by society to just let heroes handle everything. Even though Bakugo would have died if not for Midoriya. BUT--what happened next? All Might gave him his power. That was a reward by the narrative. Granted that HAD to happen for our story to kick off, but I'm just trying to show how Midoriya doesn't ever actually have any set-backs.

"Midoriya is going to be the one to try to save Shigaraki, Midoriya has already become the greatest hero by actively looking past the actions of Shig and the League and wanting to help them."

"but...yeah I was saying about how Midoriya is already a better hero at 16 than most other pros because he actively wants to help the League. Midoriya is exactly the kind of hero that the villains, and Shigaraki in particular, needs in order to have the happy ending that so many want for him"

Fully agree here. I'll say that recently I've seen a lot of people making posts about how they don't think it'll be Midoriya doing the reaching and saving. How they think it'll be the LOV saving each other without the help of the heroes, how they'll reach each other's hearts?? Which...I don't even know what to say besides ask people who think that what they think the purpose of all these parallels and similarities drawn between him and Shigaraki are for, if not to bring them together in the end (and stay connected too--not just be yeeted from each other's lives), the two brothers who were separated from each other, and a teenage girl who was never accepted by her peers and basically forced to find family in a group of adult men lol. I'm not sure if you were responding to my rant yesterday with this ask lol, but if you are, I mean yeah I'm on board here. Midoriya is supposed to be that "true hero" that breaks through even the toughest, strongest walls, who in HIS case is Shigaraki. But not just him, Shouto, Ochacko, and Bakugo too. There's a kid:villain set up for a reason, so people who don't want that set up are either just....super super one-sided in how they're reading it, or it's just their preference and they're not actually caring about what the story itself is going to do. (Bakugo is kind of a seventh wheel....lol)

Again, I can't say I've seen too much irrational Deku hate on my dash. I avoid stupid shit for the most part. Most of the blogs I follow, while they may not like Midoriya, they still see the redeeming characteristics in him and still make valid takes on the story and take his actual character into account. But I have seen the irrational hate you're talking about, I've just successfully yeeted it from my dash.

Another character, and I know you didn't bring this character up but I feel this issue applies to them as well--is Hawks. Now...I do not like Hawks. I don't hate him, but I seriously just cannot bring myself to like him. I can't tell if it's his fans that have just ruined him for me, or just his overall vibe in the story. I don't even know at this point I've spent so long avoiding getting to know his character. But--I've seen villain-stan blogs hate him so much to a point where they completely forget that he is also a victim of society and has his own issues. And their takes on him come at the expense of....well, a clear understanding of the story. Now right now Hawks is being handled not-so-great, but even before this. Of course nobody has to like him, I mean I just said that I don't, but this irrational hate that comes at the expense of his actual character is annoying to me.

"I think it's completely valid for people to just simply not like certain characters for whatever reason they might have, im not here to police people's opinions, but when people's opinions come at the expense of misunderstanding pretty key elements of the characters / story they're talking about, that's when I have a problem"

Yep yep yep. I agree here too. So in a nutshell, no matter what character it is, if people irrationally hate them to a point where their takes on the story just stop making sense, yes I agree that it starts to wear away at the integrity of the character, and it also annoys me and I end up just unfollowing and I no longer take anything they say seriously. And there are a couple of blogs I follow that really don't like Midoriya at all, but they don't waste their time talking about how much they don't like him. They simply just...don't talk about him. That's what people should do because otherwise it fills EVERYONE'S dash with negativity that we didn't ask for. That's why I'm glad I've stopped getting so many asks about Hawks because I have never really had anything nice to say about him and after so many people sending me stuff asking to talk about him I started to feel like a shitty person for filling peoples' dashes up with that. I mean...I'm seriously mean to Hawks lol. I am. So yeah.

I don't particularly understand the extreme hatred either. I totally get not liking a character but that extreme hatred you're talking about I've made a successful effort to distance myself from. Thankfully.

[baronessblixen]

'He probably gets comments like that all the time "my mom loves you" 😂 Same thing happens with Keanu. Their "franchises" are "older" therefore they tend to attract "more seasoned" women. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug. There's nothing wrong with that at all. We all age but sometimes keep our younger crushes. Especially if they age like fine fine 😂 these guys have a younger fanbase as well but I liked that he gave a cheeky nod to his older fanbase.' saw that on another blog have a good day.

I combined all the recent anons I got about this and they're a lot so if you sent one and want to read, they're all under the read more. I don't want all of these on my dash and I'm sure others feel the same.

So here we go

First anon: Thank you for that other perspective! If that was the intention of that sketch, it fell completely flat for me personally. I did not get the feeling of a nod to an older fanbase at all.

more surprised in the skit/sketch that david mentioned keanu but not surprised he mentioned a toxic mfer like mark harmon ( btw one of his ncis co-stars called him for years of being abuse by Pauley Perrette and she's been open about it too )

Him possibly being a toxic co-star is in no relation to him dating someone age-appropriate.

also i dont see why we, as people would get this talk of dd's sketch/skit on kimmel as a drama ? or start it as a drama really? i mean yes people don't like the skit, i do not like it as well, the keanue and mark harmon ( even though harmon is problematic as fuck ) mention was bizarre as hell. but no matter what DD does even if it was intentional or not he'll still be hated tho just my two cents.

I don't consider this drama. I have an opinion, other people agree or disagree. It may seem like drama to others, I don't know. I wish people would just comment on existing asks instead of sending new ones that basically say the same as the others have before. I didn't like the sketch and thought it was in bad taste. I don't recall saying I hate him. If someone in a comment said it, please talk to them.

my two cents here with the skit of DD is that as the anon said he probably was reading it from the cue cards couldn't do shit about it, yes he could have said no but they were recording the entire thing and how we'd know what went down there truly? we're just audiences to the whole thing. yes the skit/sketch is bizarre and weird bc he never have been close to both actors that he mentioned there. it is the show's skit/idea not his people.

It was scripted. He probably just read out loud what was given to him. I have no idea how much input artists give, but the whole interview was also so scripted - as it always is, with everyone - that there must be some kind of conversation and understanding what can be discussed and what not. Cause otherwise why does no one ever ask him about his love life?

weighing on the DD doing that skit/sketch thing on kimmel, y'all know that he didn't really thought of that sketch right? pretty sure that's all about the show making him do it and the show and sketch is also recorded?? not live?? also my two cents here is that he's not jabbing at keanu or mark dating someone appropriate lol

Pretty much answered this in the ask right above.

doing a skit on Jimmy Kimmel disparaging men who are in relationships with age appropriate women when you're doing the complete opposite of that and trying to hide it is not a good look by any stretch of the imagination. but watch his older female fans trying to defend it, even though they were targeted too

Most of what I saw were either people finding it funny or not liking it at all. There seems to be no middle ground. Then again I haven't seen that much. I was surprised how few people were actually talking about it. Not just the sketch, the fact that DD was on Kimmel at all. Maybe it's because of who I follow.

I have to disagree with you when you say we all do weird things. David isn’t just doing weird things he is pry of a societal problem that makes it okay to objectify young female bodies. And many give him and others a pass because they are charming Or because of prior things they did. Not holding men responsible for their toxic behavior is the problem and even worse is that women are among those apologists. And I like your blog and I know that you don’t like to be controversial but at one point someone has to have a clear standpoint without giving passes to the patriarchy system that only see value in a woman’s appearance and youth instead of her education and achievements 

I meant that more in general terms. I think I've been pretty clear and outspoken that I don't care about his relationship with MP - or any large age-gap relationship in general. I am constantly begging for stories about middle-aged people.

I just got around to watching that interview because of the Drama on your blog and WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!! who ever thought that was a good idea?? he just made fun of really talented people and he embarrassed not only his fanbase but also himself. I wonder how he looks his daughter in the eyes after a shitshow like this (pardon the language but im really disappointed) :((

Cursing is allowed on my blog, anon :) I really wonder who wrote the sketch and why they thought it was a good idea. For DD or anyone. Humor is a touchy subject and there's no agreed-upon definition on what is and isn't funny. I'd think West doesn't care much about it. She knows her dad better than any of us here.

[grpcquickfessions]

Write up that post I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. I have been in that same situation and yes I did just go inactive. It wasn’t the right thing to do but I was so crippled by anxiety because when I tried to talk to an admin I got told exactly what that Anon was saying. First they tried to use the, “well it’s slow right now” excuse, but I pointed out there had been 45 new posts on the dash that day alone and as a new player I was getting no interactions despite responding to all recent starters. Then they used the “close group who have been writing together forever” excuse. Then finally indicated that my starter just wasn’t good or something people would respond to. It hurt my feelings so badly and I was so embarrassed I couldn’t bring myself to tell them I wanted to leave, so I just fizzled out. Everyone in this community wants to blame players, or say it’s “just a dead community” but no one wants to take a hard look at themselves.

TW; Long Post.

TL;DR: Everyone needs to pay more attention, be more open to listening and giving out warnings and be more kind!

P.S. - I will probably never talk this much again, so I apologize. I just had a lot to say and if you disagree, that's totally fine! Nothing I say is fact or should be taken as such. We should all respect each other's opinions and experiences! :)

As a former admin and a player, I've seen both sides of this argument. As an admin, my experience (I can not stress enough that this is my experience with this situation) with players coming to me about lack of interactions were sometimes players who didn't try plotting or interacting with anyone outside of the ship they wanted.

I once had a player continuously complain to me because she couldn't fathom why she wasn't making connections in the way she wanted to make connections, totally disregarding other player's requests/wants and being incredibly presumptuous in-character (I later found out that she just wanted the entire rp to center around her which -- ha, tough cookie).

I also had another player bully another member cause she wanted a particular ship. She left when she didn't get said ship, citing that no one wanted to interact with her character when in reality she refused to forge relationships with anyone outside of that particular ship (I found out about the bullying after the fact).

Needless to say, as a former admin, I always encourage people to take a long hard look at themselves, how they're interacting, if they're open to new ships (both platonic and romantic), and what kind of effort they're making. Anytime I'm in a situation where I feel like the odd man out, I examine myself first and foremost.

H O W E V E R ...

Also as a former admin and player, if you see a player actively trying, actively reaching out to people (though, granted this is a hard one unless you reach out to all your members and say "hey did xyz message you to plot? lol), constantly being active on the dash, giving out the best replies they can, kind in the ooc, and just generally doing what any average roleplayer is doing but is being ignored and your response is that the rp is "already established" then (and excuse my french) just close off the fucking roleplay to new members.

"Already established" is such a shit excuse. As an admin, you absolutely should be fostering an environment that's nothing short of welcoming both IC and OOC. I get it -- you can't make people interact but at the very least, you should be encouraging it if you notice a rise in bubble rping or a member being ignored and handing out repercussions if the situation isn't improving.

When I was more active, I was quick to hop into people's inboxes, DMs, what have you and say, "Hey, wanna plot?" "Hey, wanna make a connection with these two?" "Hey, if this player is down, wanna do this cool friendship/squad/love triangle/enemies/etc?"

And honestly, I've realized, 90% of the time, some groups don't even realize they're doing it. Because sometimes, it's genuinely not intentional.

One of the last few groups I was in was filled with the sweetest people I ever had the pleasure of rping with. They were super nice and everyone was interested in forging some sort of connection with my character. However, these connections were, for lack of a better word, dry. Because the group was established and everyone had already made any prominent connections, no one was really interested in doing anything outside of "casual friends." Which is fine! I love plotting friendships but when you have the same connection with every single character, it gets ... boring. And bored I was. And that boredom turned into annoyance and that annoyance turned into frustration and eventually, I just left.

Or another time, everyone was half-lovely IC but OOC? I was ignored. I'd say something and they skip right on by in the OOC chat. I left -- expeditiously.

I listed some suggestions here originally and I genuinely wish I had more to give but if you're an admin, please pay attention to your players. Please watch interactions closely after a complaint. Do not be afraid to make a post on the main letting members know you've noticed a lack in interactions and that it needs to be fixed. Don't be afraid to reach out to members who are bubble roleplaying privately and letting them know that it isn't okay. Be the example! And please don't be afraid to just make a private group for you and your friends. I've been in several groups where it was apparent that the admin and friends just wanted a background audience for their IC drama.

Also, only sort of relevant, but I wished more people were into chemistry as well as plotting. So much of rping today is premeditating connections instead of sometimes letting chemistry dictate the relationship. I think doing/having both is important and can lead to a lot more fun (plus, chemistry helped me meet my best friend!).

And like I said before, sometimes leaving is the best option. But, don't be afraid to let the admin know why you left (without being rude or passive-aggressive, of course).

As always, I'm open to more advice, more opinions and more thoughts.

At the end of the day, role-playing is for fun. Fun should never stress you out (unless you happen to be plankton and you've got a sea sponge who won't stop singing about it).

[sendnotes]

books i read in april.

this is going to be my thing from now on. i'll compile a list of all the books i read in a month and share my thoughts on each one every end of the month.

just so you know, i'm a little forgetful, and i have a tendency to forget names, plots, and other details. i'm hoping that writing these will aid my memory in recalling how i felt about each novel.

you can also find me on goodreads

so, let’s begin, shall we?

101 essays that will change the way you think (wiest, brianna)

self-help book

this book got off to a good start! some of the essays written (or should i say a collection of articles originally published on the thoughtcatalog website) made me think and consider my outlook on life, love, and so on.

the title overstates the case though. when i think of an essay, i picture something more argumentative and philosophical. not to mention that the majority of the ideas in this book are redundant. it made it difficult to get through. nonetheless, i was able to get past it because there were so many fantastic concepts and topics discussed.

overall, it's an interesting & worthwhile read for those who enjoy thinking outside the box.i lost count of how many times this book gave me aha moments. i swear, most of the entries soothed my mind and provided a great pick-me-up when life seemed to be frustrating.

the midnight library (haig, matt)

science fiction, fantasy fiction, psychological fiction

regrets, self-remorse, what ifs, family approval, drugs, dreams, love, passion, hatred, death, afterlife, multiverses, quantum physics, and a plethora of possibilities packed into a 304-page book.

i'll be honest: this book is already on my list of favorites. i'm simply blown away by how well-crafted and diverse the entire story unfolded.

a sci-fi novel with a dash of fantasy and a smidgeon of philosophy. if that's your thing, you should give this book a shot.

the first few pages of the book gave me an impression and led me to surmise it was going to be a cheesy ass chick lit novel that i'd only read and find enjoyable in high school. i was completely off base. it proved to be very mature, full of lessons, but delivered in a fun and entertaining manner— exactly my cup of tea.

it reminded me of a disney pixar film called soul, in which the afterlife is depicted in vivid detail. they differ on so many levels, but they both imagine life after death for people who are unsure of their path, purpose, and passion.

every chapter served a significant concept, so this book is well-deserved of a 5-star rating!

norwegian wood (murakami, haruki)

fiction, romance novel, bildungsroman

as i read the book and neared the end, all i could think about was how this book became one of murakami's most popular and influential works.

murakami offers a sprawling glimpse into the lives of a group of severely damaged youths grappling with the realities of what emptiness entails. take what you will from it.

i know a lot of people like it, which is fine. but please keep in mind that this book hit me square in the gut. it alternated between making me angry, sad, annoyed, and disgusted almost constantly. there isn't much else.

this book should come with a warning: "this is not a good place to start if you're new to murakami's works. this is not a representative of murakami's brilliance."

fist and foremost, the characters in this book are all repulsive.

toru watanabe was a fuckboy and a softboy rolled into one. what could possibly be worse than that? he'd have as many casual sexual partners as he could while also buttering a girl up by appealing to her emotions and displaying a "sensitive" and "vulnerable" side.

this book was made even more depressing by the fact that each female character was needy, weak, dysfunctional, and dependent. since they're all the same, i'm not going to go over each of these female characters one by one. you already get the idea.

reiko ishida, imo, was one of the best rendered sections of the novel. most likely because she had a better grasp on her emotions and goals than the still seeking youths... until, *spoiler alert* she wanted to do it with toru as well. a big disappointment.

to summarize, this book is primarily concerned with two topics: sex and death.

hidden meanings are everywhere, but when you get to the core, that's all that remains.

the four agreements: a practical guide to personal freedom (ruiz, miguel)

self-help book

first agreement ⏤ be impeccable with your word

this essentially means that you should not spew gossip or use words to harm others. because words have tremendous power and can cause significant harm. you are not only negatively affecting others with your hateful and thoughtless words, but you are also hurting yourself. this is something with which i generally agree. how i see it, when people are unhappy with themselves, they turn to others to make themselves feel better. as a result, they gossip about others in order to divert attention away from themselves.

second agreement ⏤don't take anything personally

alright. sure. don't let what others say about you bother you. it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you. well, i don't entirely agree, but i think it's a fantastic idea in general. however, achieving this goal will be extremely difficult. i believe it would take a lot of practice to reach this level of zen. plus, i honestly believe that other people's opinions still matter because they keep you in check. the best advice is to not be swayed by these opinions, but to consider why they were expressed in the first place. see what you can do to improve yourself from there. sure, it can be difficult to deal with; after all, no one likes being told they're wrong or whatnot. but it's not all bad news because you can sometimes use criticism and judgment to give you a competitive edge. i mean- don't you think hearing someone else's point of view is also an opportunity to learn and progress? ruiz should have stressed that it's not just about "not taking it personally because you know you're not that person," but also about not retaliating with an extreme knee-jerk reaction even if you believe you're being unfairly criticized.

third agreement ⏤ don't make assumptions

this is a real eye-opener for me. i've noticed that whenever i become enraged by someone's words, it's usually due to my tendency to assume. personally, i can't help but make assumptions. i don't know what other people's motivations are, and i can't help but draw conclusions based on the information i have. even if the other person had no intention of causing me harm, it's too late. the thought has become ingrained in my mind, and i never ask for clarification out of pride or fear of appearing overly sensitive.

fourth agreement ⏤ always do your best

this section did not seem particularly useful to me. i mean, aren't we all reminded of this all the time? this section is filled with sloppy writing, in my opinion. as if he badly wanted to finish the book and impulsively thought: "okay, fourth agreement: always do your best. that should suffice. lmao"

overall opinion: the third agreement was my favorite, but the rest were a no-go. don't get me wrong, i appreciated his ideas, but i've heard them all a hundred times before. basically, the book's sole takeaway is that we are all suffering in some way in our daily lives, and we are all dealing with different issues. regardless, we all need to be kinder and gentler to ourselves and others.

the song of achilles (miller, madeline)

romance novel, historical Fiction, war story

i'll keep it short and sweet:

i really wouldn't have had this book any other way. miller's writing is breathtaking, so rich and full of lovely detail. it's incredibly a unique concept to me that authors are rewriting such ancient history and stories to make them lgbt+!

some suggest it's tedious, but i disagree. it isn't slow; rather, it is just right.

'cause at the end of the day, it's not about war, tragedy, or heroes - it's a slow-burning, organic love tale between two young men and their inevitable connection.

it's sad, tender, and painful, but in the best way possible.

circe (miller, madeline)

novel, historical fiction, fantasy fiction

"greek mythology, but with a feminist twist"?! sign me the hell up! this piqued my interest... only to leave me feeling completely let down. seriously now. circe was described as a "badass empowered woman," which was the single most compelling selling point for me, and thus the most wrenching disappointment, i must say.

sure, it demonstrated the value of feminine power, but it also did represent how this power can be a force of good or evil.

not to mention the fact that circe fucked a married man or two in this book- i mean- how is that an ~empowered woman~?

let's be clear right off the bat: madeline miller's follow-up to the song of achilles is epic in scope but not necessarily in execution. to me, this read more like a tedious island tale. regardless of how many five-star reviews this book has received... i just don't think it's well-deserved. don't get me wrong here. miller is a fantastic author with a lush writing! istg- i'm blown away by how beautifully she wrote and carefully chose her words. even the most mundane phrases were written poetically. after-all, it’s greek mythology. but how did she manage to make circe seem so... bland?