#also can we please talk about Fennel

[allmoshnobrain]

WAIT WAIT WAIT-

did you watch Saltburn? if so, I wanna know your full opinion plz

I've heard so many contradicting opinions and yours is very important to me

💚🖤🤍

I did, love, I watched it last week! I only watched it once though, I want to watch it at least one more time so I can really absorb and process the whole thing

I'm not sure if you want my opinion on any specific aspects so I'm gonna ramble for a bit

This might get quite long though so, opinions under the cut!

(Please be aware this will have spoilers. Like, a lot.)

First of all THE AESTHETIC OF THIS MOVIE!!! Everything looked so beautiful and I just loved the way they chose to portray everything, I'm a bit of a design and arts nerd so the photography and lighting choices made me so so happy because it fit the movie's mood perfectly

Also, did you know that the title card was made in stop motion and it took like MONTHS to make it because every frame took forever to be hand drawn and animated?

I saw Emerald Fennel comment somewhere that the movie is all about a beauty that drives us mad and I am so not normal about this concept. Like please I just need more of this in my life

I had been spoiled about the "shocking" parts and honestly they were a lot more okay than I imagined based on what my friends were saying lol

BUT NOW TO THE PLOT

I just love the whole unreliable narrator thing. The way the film starts with Oliver's narration and finishes with it - we only ever get to see his point of view of the whole thing and I think the main thing here is how he was drawn to Felix since the beginning. Maybe because Felix represented the life and status he wanted to have, maybe because he was just in love because, well, he says all the time I WASN'T IN LOVE WITH HIM but then we get all of this shots of him just LONGING over Felix and well, yes, I do think he was in love, at least with the idea of him.

I don't think he planned to murder the entire family from the start, I think he wanted to get closer to Felix in that mix of infatuation over him and over his status, I think he was very happy manipulating his family to like him and driving away anyone who could threaten that, like Farleigh. But things kind of get out of control when Felix figures out he's lying and I think also when Farleigh gives him the "you'll never belong here because it's a blood/family thing and you are nothing" speech.

And now he's drunk and heartbroken and angry and then no one even knows his name when they sing Happy Birthday to him and I think he realizes then that even if he gets Felix to forgive him he'll always be just a pet to these people. Their little "poor" friend who's a novelty to all of their rich aristocratic friends and families. I think that's then that he decides to murder Felix.

And there is all this Romeo and Juliet references/subtext, like they both swallow the poison but then Felix is left to die alone because Oliver refuses to drink the poison. I've seen some people saying he was planning to die with him and gave up last minute but I don't think that's what happened, I think he decided to kill Felix that night because he realized he was never gonna have him the way he wanted. I don't think he even wanted to kill anyone else at this point, I think he just kind of wanted to kill Felix and then take his place in the family, to sort of become him.

But then after when he talks to Venetia he realizes that plan's never gonna work because apparently Elspeth is the only one still under his spell. So he's never gonna have Felix, he's never gonna have Felix's place in this family and now Felix's sister and dad know how obsessive and manipulating he is, so he's probably gonna lose his spot in the family as Elspeth's darling real soon, so he kills Venetia as well. Now I don't think he actually kills her in her sleep or something, I think he just knew she was unstable as fuck and left the razors there knowing she would do the work. I think he would have planned something real quick though, had she not taken the bait.

And then there's the ending where he gets everything - Saltburn and probably the family fortune as well - and he finally gets to become and own the beautiful, beautiful things he longed for SO LONG. I've seen people saying Oliver is a genius and stuff, and I think yeah his plan worked for the most part, but only because he adapted and eliminated his prey swiftly. I think his original plan was to be with Felix, so when that couldn't happen he wanted to become Felix, but that went wrong as well, so he resorted to the last option - devouring everything Felix held dear. In the end, he was obsessed with Felix - he loved him, he admitted that himself.

And I do think he was in love as well lol

I think Oliver is such an interesting character - he's fascinating at times, but also repulsive. He's smart, sure, and he knows how to pull the right strings at the right time, but I think his original plan failed. He just let himself be driven mad by the fascination he felt for Felix and for how everything about him was so, so beautiful, and then devoured everything he could with no restraints. And that was sure a crazy ride to watch!

[dontforgetoctober3rd]

Watching Lola (2024) dir. by Nicola Peltz Beckham

here are my thoughts as I watched:

-ok, so the monotone narrating isn't doing this movie any favors but the cinematography looks interesting, music choice (somber sounding strings) is alright too

-ok I'm two and a half minutes into the movie and 90 percent of it has been closeups of Lola's face? Girl, let us see the environment! What's important to Lola, what does her room look like how does she start her day?

-the character goes to bed...with makeup on? um okay

-her bro says "five more minutes" as she tries to wake him. I kid you not

-hmm so the initial interaction with her family tells me nothing about Lola other than she cares about her brother. It doesn't tell me that she hates her mom or her boyfriend (she didn't say a word to them before leaving)

-aaaaand we're back to closeups of her face

-girl where is your dialogue? Ten minutes into this movie and maybe 2 minutes tops of total dialogue has been spoken

-Ok, since I'm ten minutes in I really think these closeups of faces as opposed to seeing the characters in their environment are gonna be a problem. Also, if I hadn't already read the synopsis I wouldn't know what her main struggle was. Is it a monotonous life in a nowhere town? Which would honestly be a totally valid storyline, plenty of interesting characters want more interesting lives than the ones they have.

-aaaaaan another another scene with closeups of characters faces

-these actresses portraying the mom and the church lady so far are the highlight of the movie

-ok lola and Arlo are putting makeup on, the mom actress is really hitting it out of the park not just in super emotional scenes but in calm scenes as well you can really feel her anxiety

-Scene of Lola putting Arlo to bed. ok, she really needs to speak at least at a volume 50 instead of 20 why is she murmuring and whispering?

-GIRL please talk louder

-GIRL ENOUGH WITH THE FACE CLOSEUPS PLZ

-Lola is sitting with her boyfriend(?) and talking, she sounds very bored. Also, the scenes so far feel very jumbled together, what movie am I watching? I still wouldn't know what the main storyline is if I hadn't read summaries of the movie

-Girl, Nicola, please get some acting classes or some more training I'm begging you. Don't use the fact you're rich and everyones being mean to you about it as some sort of cross to bear that is not an excuse to half ass this! Look at Emerald Fennell look at the Mara sisters look at Bryce Dallas Howard they got acting chops please you got the resources now PUT THEM TO USE GIRL

-I just realized I don't know her friend's name???? Did I miss it? What is her friend's name?

-I feel like there's not enough movement in the shots of this movie? Its adding to the boredom

-We don't need another closeup of Lola's immaculately made up face GAWD PLZ

-that scene with her mom demanding her son back should have been longer I think

-holy shit I wasn't seeing things this character really sleeps in her makeup asdfghjkl

-look, far be it from me to say how a scene should go after a character has just been raped but I think the scene should have been a tad different than ANOTHER EFFING CLOSEUP OF HER FACE

-she woke up the next day and I kid you not she has MAKEUP again like sure a character can be beautiful with flawless skin blah blah but I highly doubt a character who has just been raped would be waking up from sleep with FLAWLESS smokey eyes (think the kind of smokey eye you would wear to a wedding or the club)

-the characters aren't connecting with each other very well. I'm not finding myself going aww what a good friendship they have or what have you

-oh damn her brother just died and what do we get? ANOTHER FACE CLOSEUP and her character not saying anything when the mom comes to berate her. ok and then after the mom leaves we get a whole two minutes (I counted) of her looking prettily anguished and artfully dropping a couple of tears then she goes on a bender and the focus REMAINS on her face...why

-let me get this straight. Lola is at rock bottom, puking and whatnot and somehow still has flawless makeup. alright

-i'm so sick of these face shotsssss please please please stop

-ah yes, trauma can totally be overcome just by sheer willpower and leaving your town (you know what they say, wherever you go there you are)

aaand the movie is over.

I give it a 2/10.

It could have been a great concept in better hands. Nicola wrote, directed and starred in this so imo maybe that's why the film turned out the way it did because more than likely she wasn't receptive to creative ideas and criticism during the writing the filming (or even during editing) stage, some of those ideas could have made the film better? idk but the film didn't suck because she's a billionaire's daughter, the film sucked because (in my opinion) it was a poorly directed checklist of cliches where the main focus seemed to be showing how pretty Lola was. (I'm NOT joking about those face closeups, they're like 75 percent of the freaking movie it feels like)

[sendpseuds]

The people must know: What are your favorite sandwiches???

Ah, sandwiches. What a magical food.

Since you graced us all with a whole dissertation I feel like I owe you the same level of detail, let’s see what we can do here.

While I am not actually vegetarian, I LOVE a veggie sandwich. One of my all time favorites to make at home is seeded rye with hummus on one side and homemade herby cream cheese on the other [usually parsley, green onion, mint, dill, and fresh garlic. Also sometimes this is chèvre instead of cream cheese]. Between the bread we have sliced cucumbers [seasoned with salt, pepper, and lemon juice], big slices of tomato, and arugula [sprouts if I can get my hands on them]. This whole ordeal is fabulous with turkey or bacon if you want more protein, I’ve also done smashed chickpeas in place of the hummus for a heartier option.

Another veggie sandwich I love is from a local bakery and if I knew exactly how they made it I would tell you, but it’s fresh crusty sourdough liberally coated in amazing olive oil, with this incredible carrot purée, thinly sliced fennel, Calabrian chilis, and arugula. So fucking good.

Okay, let’s talk about something less “healthy”

If you’ve ever been to Buffalo, New York [Go Bills] there are TWO sandwiches that I think about all the time.

The first is pretty ubiquitous through western New York: Beef on Weck. This is roast beef, dipped in hot jus, and piled on a kimmelweck roll [basically a Kaiser roll with crunchy sea salt and caraway seeds]. That’s it. Personally, I like to add an almost unadvisable amount of horseradish, but that’s it. It’s perfect.

The second is a true drunken indulgence. The Stinger Hoagie from Jim’s Steakout. If you are unfamiliar with Jim’s, most locations are open until 5am [bars in Buffalo close at 4am. A real drinking town] and the employees can often be seen wearing shirts that say “I see drunk people.” The Stinger Hoagie is their beautiful monster. Cheesesteak meets chicken finger sub. Shaved steak, chicken fingers, fried onions, melted American cheese, lettuce, tomato, Frank’s Red Hot, and Jim’s special sauce. [I am fucking drooling right now, I haven’t had one of these since I was in my twenties.]

When it comes to deli meat, I tend to lean toward turkey, but I want some really soft seeded multigrain bread with crispy Romain and good tomatoes. Thick slices of sharp sharp cheddar, mayonnaise, and Nance’s Sharp and Creamy mustard. I might toss in some cucumber or parsley, maybe apples and bacon if I’m feeling extra, but the specific mustard is very important.

[this isn’t really a sandwich but I’ll often take a big rib of Romaine lettuce and make a little deli boat with turkey, cheese, and Mayo. I’m sure I can blame that on high school, my mother, and all the lovely disordered eating habits I developed as a teen]

Grilled cheese… I’m sort of all over the place with grilled cheese, always experimenting, but for me, the most important thing is using GRATED CHEESE [and to be clear, I mean block cheese that you grate at home, not the pre-grated stuff in the bag, please, this is important, that shit doesn’t melt right] I want the cheese pouring over the sides of the bread, hitting the pan, oozing and bubbling until it’s gold and crispy and perfect.

I’ll give you one fancy grilled cheese: deviled egg grilled cheese. Two hard boiled eggs, whites sliced thin, yolks mixed with mayo, mustard, pepper, paprika, dill. Into the pan goes bread, cheese mixture [gruyere and cheddar, shredded and mixed with a little Mayo and mustard], yolk mixture, sliced whites, more cheese mixture, bread. Done.

This is getting out of control and I haven’t talked about chopped italian sandwiches, or banh mi, or my mom’s famous roast beef and mock Boursin sandwiches, or my obsession with Calabrian chilis [oh! Add those to the mayo on a turkey sandwich], or the time I put an entire meatloaf on an entire loaf of bread and called it a sandwich.

I haven’t even TOUCHED on breakfast sandwiches but if I get into that we’ll be here forever.

So, for now, I’ll cap it there, but there’s plenty of room for a sequel.

Hope that answers your question!

[racingmiku2018]

would u mind telling the masses (me) about ur dnd campaign (i want 2 hear about pokemon dnd...)

omg yes always i love talking about our dnd campaign (using a readmore to prevent dash clogging) (also sorry for not getting to this in a timely manner tumblr keeps eating my notifications)

so the working base of our campaign is the pokemon mystery dungeon games, where you play as a pokemon on an exploration team at wigglytuffs guild. things are fine and normal until some asshole starts stealing time gears, which are gears that control the flow of time on the little pokemon continent youre on - in our campaign, there are 6 in total. i cant remember how many are in the actual games but it cant be much more than that? when a time gear is stolen from its little area, that whole area (until it hits the working area of another time gear) freezes in time and turns gray, and nothing can move in that grayed out freeze zone. so you go through the game trying to stop whoever stole the time gears and return the flow of time back to its normal ticking.

our party consists of a bard popplio, a time wizard nickit, a blood hunter fennekin/deerling hybrid called a fenneling, and a monk aipom - i play the aipom!

from here we start going into session summary territory and were in a little deep so please bear with the Text Wall 🙏 ill be skipping a lot of the minutiae in the interest of saving some characters bc idk tumblrs text limit but i can go into greater detail later

session one is, as one would expect, the one where all our characters meet and get acquainted, and we sign up for wigglytuffs guild as one team (much to the distress of one of our members, who does NOT want to be on an exploration team) but before we can actually call ourselves guild members, we have to go through a little test dungeon to retrieve a ribbon!

the test itself is easy enough. defeat 3 dungeon feral bidoof (they went down like sacks of potatoes) and go into the back room of the dungeon to grab a ribbon - except some dickhead morgrem managed to weasel his way onto the testing grounds and has the ribbon. he wants money or something better for it so we decide to give him an ass beating, he teleports away after dropping the ribbon, and we retrieve it, returning it safely to our testers hands - he is less than pleased about the state of the ribbon, which is torn and frayed and bloodied because we had to fucking fight for it.

now fully initiated members, we spend the night in the guild and get our first actual job the next day - oran berry collection at a nearby village of caterpie. we blow through the dungeon, where morgrem waits at the very end, eating all the damn oran berries which he probbaly fucking needed bc of how bad we beat his ass earlier, so we beat his ass AGAIN and also i managed to kill one of his little minion impidimps. this is the first actual kill that isnt a dungeon feral. we collect the required amount of oran berries somehow and leave some food for the village (the forest was their only food source and theyre all fucking starving) before returning to the guild with guilt ridden hearts. our guild master goodra is disappointed in how we took all the oran berries we could find, and the guy who tested us, indeedee, is proud of us for getting the amount of berries asked of us despite the circumstances. indeedee and goodra are in love but that doesnt come into play until later.

that night we (by which i mean nickit and fenneling, because aipom and popplio failed a check and missed the prophecy dream entirely) get our first prophecy dream! a shaymin is begging for help at waterfall cave. the next day, a shaymin runs to the guild and begs for help, because the time gear at waterfall cave has been stolen. we arent allowed to go there yet because were level 2 and still extremely squishy, so we have to take a different job beforehand. clearing the dungeon with some difficulty (we got our shit absolutely fucked by a couple of venonat which is extremely funny considering how low level they were in comparison to morgrem, who we almost reduced to a stain on the ground), we get to the end of a dungeon where we meet a celebi! she gives nickit some augury sticks, we deliver the item in the job description, and celebi teleports us back to the guild. as we sleep that night, fenneling makes a pact with fucking kyogre to get stronger, and then we all get pulled into a second prophecy dream - we are shown a bunch of disasters and are told not to trust hoopa.

for reasons, we have a day off the next day, so we decide to finally see whats what with waterfall cave, where we are kinda ambushed by a sneasler who threatened to kill us if we didnt quit the guild. naturally, we beat her within an inch of her life, but she teleported away like the morgrem, and we continued on with the dungeon exploration. at the end of waterfall cave, we meet a meowstic who happened to be part of the cult of hoopa, and he gives us a magic hoopa ring, which our popplio takes and puts on immediately, and the stress of the situation makes aipom hurl. we are then blasted out of waterfall cave by a geyser of water, and wake up in a hot spring.

we head back to the guild, and learn that indeedee has been captured by a big bad named grimmsnarl (i say 'a' big bad bc were like a quarter into the campaign and idk who the biggest bad is yet). goodra is extremely upset about this for obvious reasons. we catch him in time to tell him about the dream, the cave encounter, and the ring, and goodra tells us to please god stop wearing ths ring, here is access to my personal library where you can find wizard spells, i am going to go find indeedee please dont investigate the time gear thing until i tell you otherwise.

so we sleep.

the next day, shaymin rushes back to our guild because another time gear is gone and shit is FUCKED. he begs us to do something because the guilds current plan (which is 'run around like headless chickens in search of indeedee and also maybe the time gear thieves) is trash, so team silly (our team, who hates the name i chose bc i got cornered by a secretary) goes out to investigate.

or we try to, before getting cornered by the secretary vivillon again and given a mission to help a senior team because theyre getting fucking WALLOPED out there. so we go and we take out the cultist pokemon attacking the senior team of 3 poochyena, managing to bag our second actual kill that isnt a dungeon feral, which the poochyena are thrilled about because they want meat and we have just provided a fresh corpse. after saying our farewells to the poochyena, we realize nickit was able to put a tracker on the cultists, so we follow them to their base (which has been left abandoned), trash the place and their teleporter so they cant get back easily, and get clues: one of which says that this cult isnt a hoopa cult, and theyve been framing hoopa as the time gear thief, and another saying the locations of the remaining gears.

we go back to the guild and sleep, and after a very funny dream melding involving eggs and stage fright, we are pulled into a group dream with hoopa! he tells us hes not stealing time gears but we should start stealing time gears just so the big bads cant steal anymore and we stand a chance of restoring things back to normal.

the next day, we head out to a dungeon where a time gear is located, and get curbstomped by dungeon ferals for an hour before getting to the time gear puzzle, which we solve with ease, and now have to fight an aspect of cresselia - not as strong as the real cresselia, so we beat her ass with haste and flee with the gear before the real cresselia shows up. we figure we cant go back to the guild like this, so we run to the next town and are accosted by culists again, who we manage to absolutely murder, and our fenneling eats part of one for some godforsaken reason. upon reaching the next town, we take a ferry ride to the next time gear location (which is a whole fucking nightmare but idk how long the text limit is and we gotta Move) and fall underground, where, miraculously, there is a time gear! so we kill the aspect of tapu bolo guarding it, take the gear, and outrun the freezing zone currently heading right for the town we just left. we have the town evacuate and keep on moving. the entire north part of the continent is now frozen in time, so we head south to the last remaining gear, and the last unfrozen town in the continent.

the town we get to has two things: a bar/inn called club heartthrob, and a monastery. we rest at the bar/inn and spend some time at the monastery, whose abbott arboliva shows us to the nearby dungeon, so we clear it after the party explodes due to popplio having a meltdown in the time gear puzzle room. we then meet the real honest to god enamorous, who guards this last gear, and thankfully we dont fight bc enamorous is willing to talk with us and ascertain our goals. upon seeing that we are really just trying to make things right, she gives us the gear and a little thing to immobilize grimmsnarl (who has the other 3 gears) and sends us back to town, where that fucking morgrem has appeared, pissed off everyone in town, and gives us a message from his boss grimmsnarl saying that hes captured the guild pokemon and will kill them if we dont come to give him our gears.

arboliva gives us a gem that, when crushed, will summon every pokemon at this towns monastery to help us beat absolute ass if we need the help, and we go on our way.

on the way to go beat the fuck out of grimmsnarl, we gain a new party member, joltik, who becomes very useful very quick.

we get to grimmsnarls base, where we save the first half of the guild pokemon, and go deeper in to find grimmsnarl partying and the rest of our unconscious guild members, including popplios band members, goodra, and a half dead indeedee.

we come up with and perfectly execute a plan to shield the guild members until we can wake and unleash them onto grimmsnarls gang summoning arbolivas monastery and like every other pokemon on the grass continent that we managed to save with the town evac, and by god they are Pissed. we destroy grimmsnarls gang with the only real casualty being my aipom that went down like 4 times in the course of this fight, kill the FUCK out of grimmsnarl, and now we have to fill in the guild master about our game plan but we gotta wait until next session because goodra is very occupied with helping his boyfriend. and also our nickit is actually a zorua.

[denimbex1986]

'It was the interview that made viewers wince around the world but now almost a week on the BBC has finally apologised to Andrew Scott for what it calls its 'misjudged' question.

Oh how we cringed watching entertainment correspondent Colin Paterson badger the Irish actor who was out to celebrate the success of his film All Of Us Strangers at the BAFTAs, about Barry Keoghan's penis and the now infamous dancing scene in Saltburn.

The cringe red carpet interview started pleasant enough with the BBC reporter asking if he knew Barry well to which Andrew replied: 'I know Barry yeah' with a big smile on his face.

What was your reaction when you first saw the naked dance scene at the end of Saltburn?' Colin then asked.

When someone around him shouted out 'no spoilers please!' Andrew being a good sport mustered ' Ah Jesus' and looked embarrassed before adding 'Listen I won't spoil it for anybody but it 's great, it's great.'

He raised his hands awkwardly and looked flustered which should have been Paterson's cue to move on but instead, he tried again insisting 'You can spoil away.'

'Yeah no I won't spoil it for anybody,' the at this stage embarrassed Andrew insisted which again should have been a heads-up to the reporter but still he doggedly ploughed on and became utterly inappropriate.

'There was a lot of talk about prosthetics, how well do you know him?'

It was a this point that Andrew somehow managed to keep his cool and walked away from the reporter.

The problematic question appeared to infer that Barry and Andrew who is openly gay might know each other intimately, and caused uproar around the world.

Now after days of silence, the BBC has conceded that the question was ' misjudged' and apologised if offence was caused but still stood by its reporter.

Its statement reads: 'Our reporter began by asking Andrew Scott about the film he'd appeared in -All Of Us Strangers - which was nominated for six BAFTAs.

He then moved on to ask about the popularity of Irish actors where Barry Keoghan, star of Saltburn was mentioned. Saltburn is a film which has had cultural impact, with Barry Keoghan's scene at the end gaining a lot of attention in particular - something the actor has addressed himself.

'Our question to Andrew Scott was meant to be a light hearted reflection of the discussion around the scene and was not intended to cause offence. Saltburn writer and director, Emerald Fennell, and Sophie Ellis-Bextor, whose song Murder on the Dancefloor was used in the sequence, were also asked about the scene.

We do however, accept that the specific question asked to Andrew Scott was misjudged. After speaking with Andrew on the carpet, our reporter acknowledged on air that his questioning may have gone too far and that he was sorry if this was the case.'...'

[procarewing]

Staying fit in a busy life made easy | Procarewing

Like men, women also have their own specific routine, according to which they perform all their activities. Generally, most of a woman's time is spent on daily activities like housekeeping, office, business, etc., taking care of children, preparing food, etc. In all these activities, women forget to take care of their health. However, it doesn't mean that women don't want to be healthy, it's just that they can't make health a priority in their day-to-day activities. However, we tell you that for a healthy lifestyle, you don't need to make any major changes in your busy life, but by taking care of a few simple things, you can stay healthy and fit.

Walking: Make it a rule that no phone calls will be listened to while sitting down. When talking to anyone on the phone throughout the day, whether in the office or at home, you start walking. Nothing else. Just sit and move your feet. If you have 5 to 10 phone calls throughout the day, you can easily do about an hour's workout. This is the easiest and most effective way to burn calories.

Water is essential: Drinking an adequate amount of water is very beneficial for health. But sometimes just drinking water gets a bit boring. In such a case, to drink more water, you can fill a bottle with water and add lemon juice, pineapple pieces, mint, fennel, etc. This will not only improve the taste of the water but also make it healthier.

Keep Energy: Keep energy bars with you to keep your energy up. Most protein bars are loaded with artificial sugars, flavors, and other ingredients. Choose protein bars that are clean, nutritious, and made with natural ingredients like egg whites and fruits. Try not to include any substandard ingredients. Don't just look for gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free labels.

Short and quick exercise: When you have very little time, do a 10-minute exercise. Just as the clock moves faster, try to move with it. Do thirty jumping lunges, twenty crunches, fifteen air squats, ten push-ups, and five tricep dips, then repeat.

Health Bag: Those women going to school, college, or office who spend a large part of the day outside the house due to some busy schedule should carry this bag with them at all times. You can keep some snacks like seeds, nuts, and fruits in them, so that whenever you feel hungry, instead of eating junk food or chips, etc., you can fill your stomach with such things.

Sweet cravings: Always have dark chocolate with you, which contains 70% cocoa and either no or very little sugar. It's a great choice for curbing coffee and sweet cravings, giving it an energy boost. If plain dark chocolate doesn't satisfy your sweet tooth, you can have a piece of data with it. You can also use it as a small dessert.

Keep calm and relieve headaches or body aches caused by fatigue. Keep a few important essential oils like lavender and geranium cytil with you. Their scent will keep you calm. Apply chamomile lotion to your face when you're stressed, like after a busy day, to keep the skin hydrated and the mind calm. It's more important to have a positive lifestyle than anything else to stay healthy. All that is required is prudence. In this way, you will see a clear improvement in your health in days, not months.

Take long breaths: When you start feeling stressed, take long deep breaths from your chest to calm yourself down. It increases endurance. Inhale slowly and count to 20 in your mind, then exhale and repeat this process until you feel better. This simple breathing exercise can be very effective in relieving you of all kinds of stress. It's best to do it in the middle of the day, no matter where you are.

Read More Please Visit

Healthy Skin With Busy Life

Busy people should adopt this lifestyle to stay healthy at work

How To Get Healthy Skin With Busy Life 

[edgewaterfarmcsa]

CSA WEEK 17

p i c k l i s t

PARSLEY - REDBOR KALE - SHISHITOS PEPPERS! - HABANADAS PEPPERS! - CAYENNE PEPPER! - JALAPENO PEPPER! - BEETS - BUTTERCUP WINTER SQUASH - CARROTS- HEIRLOOM FIELD TOMATOES - CORN - ONION - GARLIC

Content Warning: this newsletter talks about food, if you are fasting in recognition of the holiest day of the Jewish Calendar, then please feel free to pause until tomorrow…. Ok?

And now let’s get into it: our Summer CSA ends this week! What in the world are we all supposed to eat after this week’s goodies run out? Cereal?! Hot dogs? Nightly takeout from Brownsville Butcher and Pantry? JK, As you all know our Fall CSA begins in a week, so this is certainly not the end of fresh veg for those that signed up.  In fact for many of you, the fun starts next Wednesday (first FALL CSA!) when our efforts go into filling the farmstand with towers of brussel sprouts, bins of onions, trays of greens and if you are smart and gluten friendly- a fresh warm loaf of bread (via add on bread share).

  And as for the fields this week, they did get a light frost two nights in a row.  Some plants are toast but the majority remain and they will continue to kick around until a deep kill frost hits and the fog breaks.  Truthfully, none of us expect the peppers, corn, and cherry tomatoes to stick around much longer, but while they are here, we will love them dearly and pick them with pretend Summer delight.  The brassicas and other greens have no problem with these cool temps, and we have enough greenhouses growing food to keep our bellies full and happy through the Winter Solstice (and beyond?).  

In other field topics, we are all impatiently waiting for the tops on the potatoes to properly dry so we can begin to dig the spud field using our fave large piece of equipment, the potato harvester- this will save an insane amount of time.  We are all a little sick of hand digging and our fingernails could use a break.  For real, the pain of hitting your finger nail into a potato while digging into the soil is a shock to the system for daaaaays.  

But the most pressing topic to really hit today is all the food we ate together these last 17 weeks.  From strawberries in June, to blueberries in July and Melon into the end of September.  We ate like kings and queens! And come January, I guarantee you, the onslaught of Equinox peppers will be missed as you sip on your dried tulsi tea.  Moreover, a huge shout out to all CSAers near (farmstand pick up!) and far (Eastman! The Studio! Novo Nordisk! Windsor! Brownsville!).  I don’t know what the CSA means to you- is it just groceries? Is it more? But for me, the CSA gives my every week real meaning and rhythm.  With the help of so many awesome hands and fellow farmers (Ray, Roy, Garnet, Claire, Denroy, Carlington, Tim, Jasper, Strong, Joe and Mike, Mrs. T and Pam), I get to curate your meals from a field! That is a huge honor and I do not take it lightly.  And bottomline here, a massive cheers to you all for taking a chance on Edgewater this season, and I do hope to check in with you all again in the not too distant future.  

Peace, Love, and Habanadas, Jenny

Pro-tips:

 KALE SALAD WITH ROASTED SQUASH AND FENNEL

FROM START SIMPLE

(the above book is absolutely my go to for nearly all meals, treat yourself:

Copyright © 2020 by Lukas Volger. Published by Harper Wave, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. 

 The dressing - a mix of maple syrup, lemon juice, and olive oil, plus an optional jolt of ginger- could make anything taste good, and the salad, with its autumnal profile, works just as well in holiday menus as it does in packed weekday lunches… Add some crumbled feta if you’d like a tangy creamy element.

 2 cups winter squash cut into bite size pieces

1 to 1 ½ tablespoons maple syrup or honey

3 tablespoons olive oil, divided

2 teaspoons finely grated ginger (optional)

Salt & pepper

1 small fennel, cored (also optional!)

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

1 large bunch of kale (stemmed and torn into bite size pieces

¼ cup crumbled feta cheese (optional)

Parsley, (chopped)

Preheat the oven to 425.  Spread the squash on a baking sheet, then toss with 1 ½ tablespoons of the olive oil and sprinkle with a big pinch of salt and pepper.  Roast until tender, 15-20 minutes, stirring once or twice.  Cool.

Whisk together the remaining1 ½ tablespoons of olive oil, the lemon juice, maple syrup or honey, and ginger, if using, in a serving bowl.  Cut the fennel (if using) into thinnest-possible shavings, preferable using a mandoline or, if not, a very sharp knife.  Add the fennel and squash to the bowl with the dressing and stir to coat.  Let stand for about 5 minutes, which will soften up the fennel, then add the kale and toss with your hands.  Top with cheese if using and chopped parsley!

Grounding roasted roots with herbed jalapeño yogurt sauce is a beautiful and simple side dish that features a delicious sauce.

PREP TIME:15 MINS/ COOK TIME:1 HR/ TOTAL TIME:1 HR 15 MINS/ SERVINGS 4 -6

ROOTS:

1 lb carrots (5 medium), peeled and chopped into 2-inch pieces

½ lb beets (3 medium/4 small) peeled and chopped into 1-inch wedges

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 ½ teaspoons za’atar spice

sea salt and ground black pepper, to taste

 YOGURT SAUCE:

1 cup mixed herbs, packed (I used parsley, dill & basil), plus extra for garnish

1 small jalapeño pepper, seeded and chopped (I left some of the seeds because I like the heat)

1 garlic clove, peeled

2 tablespoons shelled and salted pistachios, plus extra for garnish

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 tablespoon lemon juice

sea salt and ground black pepper, to taste

1 cup thick non-dairy yogurt (see notes for recommendations)

Notes

I would make this a meal by serving it in a grain bowl-style setup with some cooked farro, white beans, and a big handful of chopped/baby greens per person.

I used carrots and beets, but any mixture of root vegetables you like is good. You’ll need 1 ½ pounds.

If you don’t have za’atar spice blend, that’s fine! Just use salt and pepper. The sauce is super flavourful.

Preheat the oven to 375°F. Line a 9x13x2 baking dish with parchment paper.

Place the chopped carrots and beets in the baking dish and toss them with the olive oil, za’atar, salt and pepper. Once the vegetables are evenly coated, spread them out into a single layer and slide the dish into the oven. Roast the vegetables for 1 hour, taking them out at the halfway point to stir them up and flip them over.

Make the herbed jalapeño yogurt sauce: In a food processor, combine the herbs, jalapeño, garlic, pistachios, olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Pulse the machine a few times until everything is finely chopped, scraping down the sides of the bowl with a spatula  if necessary. Add the non-dairy yogurt to the food processor and pulse until the sauce is fully combined and uniformly light green. Check the sauce for seasoning and adjust if necessary.

To serve: Spread the herbed jalapeño yogurt sauce out on the base of your serving plate. Pile the roasted root vegetables on top of the yogurt sauce.

Garnish the grounding roasted roots and herbed jalapeño yogurt sauce with extra chopped herbs and pistachios. Serve warm or at room temperature.

 Corn!

Heads up yall, this corn was picked on Saturday pre-frost as a just in case frost precaution.  It’s great for soups or freezing for winter!  

To freeze: blanch in boiling water, let cool, remove kernels, put in zip lock bag, and freeze!

[lunerbean]

Witch Tips 24

Holy shit it's been over a year since I posted one of these but it's because I kept setting myself up for failure by putting way too high of expectations on myself to crank out 10 new and unique and helpful tips everytime I got 100 new followers except first it was 10 and then it was 50 and holy shit I got so stressed about these so I've just been writing them down as I've thought of them instead and now here we are, please be gentle.

Hello here are tips

1. Use transfer paper and a hair dryer to decorate candles.

Maybe you're doing a spell for someone & you want to put a picture of that person on the candle. This can be a way to help you better visualize the effects of the spell on the person the spell is for. Or maybe you need a picture on the candle for some other reason. Maybe you want to put pictures of coins on it for a money spell. Or hearts for a love spell. Simply print out whatever you want on transfer paper, cut it out & place the image face-down on the candle. Then, you'll want to get your hairdryer and a piece of tissue paper (I highly suggest the tissue paper is the same color as the candle, otherwise you risk getting that color onto the candle. Which can also be fine, but if it's not what you want...) use the blow dryer on a low-warm setting to melt the photo onto the candle side. Remove the tissue paper and there you have it! A picture printed onto a candle.

2. You can incorporate witchcraft into ANYTHING... even brushing your teeth.

I recently got this fucking delicious toothpaste from Trader Joe's. I'm one of those people who sometimes struggles to brush my teeth twice a day because I hate the taste of toothpaste. So I got a super unconventional toothpaste flavor instead, "fennel, propolis, & Myrrh. And about a week after using it, it struck me -holy shit these ingredients have meaning behind them. Most obviously, myrrh is associated with wisdom and meditation. And fennel has been used in magic for centuries! Even if you use regular mint toothpaste, that ingredient has power behind it! Obviously this goes more so for natural toothpastes but I'm sure you can find a way to enchant other varieties as well! Use the ingredients already infused into your toothpaste for enchantments & glamours!

3. Actually study your grimoire.

If I sound at all harsh by saying this, it's only because I'm being harsh with myself too. Study your grimoire. Don't just write everything down & then expect to have it all perfectly memorized & be a master in everything you research. Reread it. Rework it. Learn.

4. Feel drawn to be a sea witch but you don't live by the ocean? Get a saltwater aquarium!

First off, I'm not saying that it's a flawless solution. Being a witch of the sea is more than just using salty fish water in your craft. HOWEVER, with that out of the way, there's no way that a salt water aquarium will harm your craft as a sea witch. Think of it like a houseplant for a green witch. Sure, living in the forest would be better but it's still something special to be able to bring a little piece of your craft into your home.

5. Personal taglocks make a spell more powerful, but exercise caution when using them.

Undoubtedly, using a taglock (such as a strand of hair) can better connect you to the spells you're performing, but they're not always wise to use. I only use them in extremely personal spells and crafts. Things that no one except for me can have access to. I would never suggest using a taglock on something that you wish to give another person (especially another witch) such as a spell bottle or sachet. Even if you're best friends. Even if you're siblings. Even if you're MARRIED. You never know when a relationship can turn south or what someone is capable of when they're extremely angry with you. Don't risk it.

6. Be respectful of the deities that you don't worship or work with

I don't work with deities. Shocker, I know. I have my own belief system when it comes to higher powers that I won't get into on Tumblr, probably ever. But I do believe in showing respect to all things, both living, dead, & otherwise specified. If a deity approaches you who you're not interested in working with, please remain kind & respectful with in declination. You're allowed to say no to anyone and everyone.

7. Just because someone is more experienced doesn't necessarily mean they're always right.

Without naming names or being too specific, there was a witch I followed on Tumblr for a long time. They were much older than me and had been a witch for like 20+ years. I followed everything they said as fact. But slowly, over time I started to learn more and realized I didn't always agree with them. They were SO negative. If they heard basically anything new that younger witches were coming up with, they'd have a whole 10 paragraph post about how "stupid and wrong and ridiculous and fake" these new witches were. There was not an ounce of open mindedness with this person. And because of that, I started to feel really bad about myself and my craft. Things they said would stick with me and I'd feel so shitty about it. Well fuck. That. More experience means absolutely nothing if the person is unwilling to learn or expand their minds beyond their previous knowledge. Anyone can learn and anyone can teach. Age means nothing. Surround yourself with open minded people.

8. Put full moon water into your humidifier to charge your space.

This is an idea that only just occurred to me while I was setting up my crystals & jar of water to charge under the full blue moon on Samhain. I always turn my glowing humidifier on at night while I sleep. As I watched the mist begin to arise out the top I thought to myself, 'if I'm charging that water (the glass jar on my altar) for the full moon, why not this water too?' So now, I just add a little splash of full moon water into my humidifier water whenever I'm performing rituals or doing spell work. This way, the full moon water can charge my entire bedroom with the power of the full moon as I work.

Speaking of...

9. You can charge water under more moon phases than just full.

I don't know if that wording was weird or not so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. My point is, I always see people talking about moon water as if it's only full moon water. The moon holds power in every phase she goes through. Adding to the above tip, you can put new moon water into your humidifier to cleanse your space. Waxing moon water to help you plan and focus. And waning moon water to assist during a banishment spell. Hell yeah dude, all phase of the moon are useful and powerful!

10. Incense matches are a great alternative to full incense sticks

I love burning incense, but sometimes it can really overwhelm the area, especially because my house is small & I dont want to expose my cat to it. Incense matches are literally matches that are covered in incense powder. They burn for just a few minutes & produce a steady stream of smoke for spells. They come in a bunch of different scents. I buy them locally for 30 matches for $1.05USD but you can probably find them cheaper online. Still be sure to keep them away from pets & those who are smoke-sensitive.

Thank you so much for reading, follow me for more #10tips, search my blog for the previous 230 tips, & have a magical day.

[mysteryinkkat234]

Crazy What You’ll Do for a Friend (Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader)

Not my favorite story but from what people have told me it’s in character for Adrian. I don’t want to make a ‘dark’ or ‘yandere’ story of any character. Please enjoy. If you want to request a headcannon/story idea, you can send me a message, don’t be shy. Read by other stuff here. 

Gender Neutral Reader (You/Yours)

Daddy Issues - The Neighborhood

One of the few friends Adrian kept from school was you, The memory of you always looking out for him was always something he thought about before ‘trying’ to go to bed. And soon, they found you were still living in Evergreen even though you talked about living in the big cities, but instead, you stayed but you found a boyfriend, which Adrian was… I was a little surprised about it but also jealous. 

From high school and beyond, Adrian started to think of you more romantically, seeing you being held by him and kissing him, those lonely nights. But when he heard you already got a boyfriend, he just thought that you weren’t interested in him…which was a little heartbreaking. 

~~~~~~~~~~

One night, Adrian gets off work and sees you crouching on the ground, waiting for him, except you didn’t have the usual cheeriness you had on your face: it was somber, sadder.

“Hey, are you ok?” Adrian asked with concern. You got up from your spot, and without a single word, you put him in a tight hug, crying into his work shirt. It felt a little awkward to do nothing so he wrapped his arms around you, his beefy arms being the only thing you want right now.

You finally spoke. “You know my boyfriend? We got into a heated argument to the point of me yelling ‘we should break up’, and he….he,” tears start to well up in your eyes, “he slapped me and told me ‘you can’t leave, I’m the only person in Evergreen that loves you. I know he’s lying, I know you care about me. But if I leave…I don’t know what he would do. Stalk me?”

Well, that sounds like a job not for Adrain, but Vigilante. Adrian took you back home, walking with you, holding you close. Once you got into your house, Adrian ran straight to his house to get his costume. 

Your boyfriend was out at the bar with his bros, laughing the night away as they walked out. Your boyfriend went into an alleyway to drain the snake when Vigilante jumped off the roof, cornering him, pinning against the wall, a shark knife to his neck. 

“Yo dude, what the fuck!” Your boyfriend yelled out but was quietly cut off (literally) by Vigilante’s knife, slitting his throat. He threw his now limp body into a trash container and silently moved into the night. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The next night, you were back at Fennels, waiting for Adrian to get off work, waiting to tell him about the news he already knew. When he was off the clock, you almost choked him out with the hug you gave him, crying again, but it was more from fear than sadness.

“He’s gone,” you said quietly, “but not like he left town…someone found him dead in the dump. They don’t know who did it yet, people say it was the Vigilante. And if he killed him, is he going to come after me?” He looked to see fear in your eyes, he rubbed your back trying to calm you down.

He tried to be subtle. “Vigilante doesn’t hurt good people, he probably knew your boyfriend wasn’t a good person,” Adrian tried to explain it without spilling anything out…like the fact he killed him, “he won’t hurt you anymore.”

“What if the Vigilante comes after me, if he went after him, is he coming after me now?” You went back into panic mode, but Adrian was here to help.

“He wouldn’t, you’re too good for this world.”

[type40thiefoflight]

Ghosts Season 3 thoughts on each episode:

Episode 1:

I see a bad moon rising, I see evil on the way

Humphrey is trying so darn hard to be a good husband, other than not learning French

I bet she really does know English and is just fucking with him

Ha, I was right!

Stop ignoring Humphrey!

Cap and Fanny are friends now, awesome

“Is it your oral skills?” Thomas!

This wouldn’t have happened if you’d learnt French, dude

Please don’t let Barclay die on the property

Ooh the ruff’s on, he’s gonna die!

All these vocal warm-ups are giving me drama class flashbacks

Oh my god Humphrey for husband of the year award

Stupid deaths, stupid deaths, they’re funny ‘cause they’re true! Stupid deaths, stupid deaths, hope next time it’s not you!

More evidence of my “Thomas gets turned on by being ridiculed” theory

Wow, that’s some laugh there guys. Glad they appreciate puns though.

Oh, Barclay’s fine. At least he won’t die on the property.

Are you the Butt Ho?

Her name is Sophie! Was that said anywhere in the episode? My hearing’s not that great.

Episode 2:

Pat worked at a bank and Robin shit bricks on his first mammoth hunt

Julian died of a heart attack, maybe drug o.d?

Now we know the woman’s name was Katie (It is Katie, right?)

New guy! Wow, Robin’s desensitized to death

Good to see more of Heather

Who wore it better, Mike or Julian? (It’s Mike ‘cause he's got rainbow Crocs)

Robin watches soap operas? (I think that’s what he’s talking about)

I don’t trust Lucy

Rachel has at least two half siblings courtesy of Julian sleeping around

Kitty gets jealous very easily, I’m guessing she didn’t have any friends when she was alive and now she doesn’t know how to share

The sign behind Robin and Mary says Conservative ’94 but in S1, ep. 2 Julian’s death day is March 18th, 1993

Humphrey is great at improv games

Don’t talk to me, my Bavarian circus, chickens, or 13 sons ever again

The only other people in the room with Alison and Lucy are the ones who are actually related to “them”

Oh, never mind Julian’s there too

He should have stopped trying at 69

Nice they acknowledged the sitting vs touching things problem

Yeah, Mary, fennel’s a laxative

Pat was a regional dance finalist

Dance Break!

I wish everyone who headcanoned Fanny almost going on the Titanic a very congratulations.

Love is an onion

What is love if not onions persevering?

Aw, Mary’s praying for the woman with the trial.

Why is Thomas’ cravat suddenly tied with the bow underneath the wrapped part? Oh wait, his collar’s just not covering it for some reason.

Julian taught Robin chess

Kitty the Dance Machine

Of course The Captain thinks banana splits are delicious

“There are times when one must go against the grain, make one’s own decisions rather than simply following others.” Is that foreshadowing for a coming out I smell?

Episode 3:

Is Mary saying Alfred or Humphrey?

When a wolf eat your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore

Do I want to know Cap’s idea of horseplay?

You’ll never be able to get it up, huh?

Get Out 2, Fumigator Boogaloo

I love how the ghosts immediately have no idea what to do without Alison

Hand-nocuulars, the latest advancement in espionage technology

Firm blows, Alison

Dip it again!

Tom I love you but you’re full of shit

Pat has asthma, no wonder Kitty’s dance party wore him out

They really dumbed down Mary huh?

Canned food didn’t agree with you because it had lead in it, dude

Ghosts getting scared of the dark and a ghost story is hilarious.

Friend pile!

Wait why is Pat in with Mike and Alison? Also sleeping on your side like that with an arrow in can’t be comfortable.

When I said you were full of shit I didn't mean it literally.

I went to Venice and all I got was this stupid t-shirt (and food poisoning)

Thomas does his best work when he’s not actively trying

Two bros, chillin’ in an alcove, zero feet apart ‘cause they’re not straight

They get badges!

Soon may the boiler man come to bring us hot water by tons

Episode 4

No, Cap, we are not calling it CocSoc, I don’t care how funny it is

“I know Fanny better than any of you!” Sure, Jan. (Julian’s face though!)

Autistic Cap back at it again with the need for clarification of instructions

Julian and Robin are such a wonderfully chaotic duo

Oh Robin don’t do that

Yeah Robin knows

Cap talks to his pillow? Get this man better friends

Wait, did Fanny and Mary...? Oh, it was just her reaction.

Robin, why are you immediately pointing to someone I ship Fanny with?

Pat, dreaming of a woman with a guy’s head is pretty bi, dude.

Humphrey?! The other person I ship her with?! It’s just his body, but w/e still 2/3 canon.

Good for you girl!

Wow, Julian upped his jerkiness this episode, or we’re just seeing it more

Wait, can Humphrey’s head feel when Fanny and his body do stuff? That’s uh, not great.

We got Fanny’s age! She’s 60.

Thomas’ ire for Byron strikes again

Fanny plus one whole Humphrey! Oh, never mind.

So Cap, who are you imagining the pillow as?

Episode 5

Cap likes Dorothy! I guess you could say he’s a good friend of hers?

Does everyone genuinely like Kitty or do they just tolerate/placate her?

Kitty’s sister’s name is Ellie, now I know who to sic the demons on

Lord Bummandbach’s balls are the most magnificent in the county

Pat’s also a musical theater guy, further proof Patcap is supreme

Elenore’s lucky she’s dead and a fictional character or I’d kill her myself

Dude, you’re bitching that your mom framed your stuff? That’s a good thing, dummy.

I love Alison’s red top this episode

Didn’t Mary’s husband get killed by a tractor or something? Maybe her dream is her subconsciously blaming herself for his death by manifesting him pointing and accusing her. Or it could represent the townspeople accusing her of witchcraft.

Mike trying to Shane Madej his way into seeing ghosts is hilarious

Kitty is very kind but way too forgiving and naive about Ellie’s intentions

Julian is constantly slightly tipsy from dying with champagne in his system, that explains some things

Julian has been drunk and horny for 27 slutty, slutty years

Who’da thought a ghost show would actually be scary? WTF, Mary?

I wish Elenore a very die by my blade

Episode 6

Thomas, leave Humphrey’s head alone!

You kick Humphrey? You kick his head like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Thomas! Jail for Thomas for one thousand years!

Kitty got to ride in a canoe with someone!

Mike still can’t say “wedding”

I still don’t trust Lucy

I was right not to trust her

Awkward walking while on the phone, very relatable

Go Mike! And go Julian for using your powers for good.

Is Fanny going to be a detective?

Kitty’s very sweet but still too trusting.

Fanny Button, Ace Detective to the rescue

How did Humphrey not get bounced back over the gate before telling Alison about Lucy?

They sit together for dinner?!

Improv dinner party!

Extra thoughts:

I would have liked the Fanny/Humphrey plot to be an actual side plot building off of their interaction in the season 2 finale rather than another “Fanny temporarily falls for someone then abruptly changes her mind” joke.

They really seemed to connect after Humphrey told Fanny about his arranged marriage to Sophie and had common ground of both being in relationships that they were sort of stuck in and couldn’t connect to the other person.

Fanny and Humphrey’s head would have been better than her and the body, not because it can’t consent (it does have a “mind” of its own and the two are definitely two entities now) but because he can’t. That’s his body and he can feel what it feels but has no say whatsoever in that because they’re separate.

The only way a Fanny/Humphrey or really anyone/Humphrey relationship, especially a sexual one, wouldn’t be weird is if the ghosts found a way to permanently reunite his head and body so there aren’t any consent issues between the two of them.

Ghost clothes and whatever they had on them when they died reset unless they’re actively touching them. If someone picked some threads from Humphrey’s coat and used them to sew his head back on, that might solve the problem assuming they both agree to be reconnected.

[bbykpoper]

𝓢𝓽𝓻𝓪𝔀𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 🍓

Inspired by this post 🌼

Pairing: professor!jongho x student!reader

Index: Hongjoong // Seonghwa // San // Yunho // Wooyoung // Mingi // Yeosang

･*:༅｡

The early morning sun hit the windows of your small room just as the alarm on your phone buzzed underneath your pilow. A soft groan left your lips as you snaked an arm underneath it to turn of the annoying buzz.

“Wake up sleepy head.” The soft whisper reached your ears, making you stir under the covers. “You’ll be late to class.”

“I don’t wanna.” You mumbled out. 

“But you have to, otherwise I’ll throw you out of my lecture Miss y/l/n.” The soft voice chuckled and it was then that your eyes shot open and widened at the face in front of you.

“Welcome back to the world of the morning people Miss y/l/n.” The softest smile reached your eyes and you groaned into your arms as you looked over to your friends for help. “Come to my office after class.”

“Yes sir...” You huffed as he went on to continue his lecture.

“Why didn’t any of you kick me when I fell asleep?” Your soft whisper reached your seatmate.

“Sorry y/n, but you were sleeping so soundly I didn’t have the heart to.” She answered.

Lucy was the cute clueless blonde that ended up being friends with you after freshman orientation when she managed to trip over your foot on accident. She, just like you was a biology major and you guys were inseperable ever since. 

“I just really wanted to see you get embarrassed so I did nothing.” Your other seatmate snorted through her quiet laugh.

Phoebe was a girl who first befriended Lucy, also through an accident in the student cafeteria along the second semester of your first year. She was such a laid back brunette that you two naturally got along and stuck together in most of your classes.

“Wow, you just really like to watch me suffer don’t you?” You mumbled her way and breathed a sigh of relief as the lecture continued without another incident.

“I just find it amusing how you have this large ass crush on our ecology professor.” Phoebe commented, booping your nose as she picked up her books.

“Hey, Professor Choi is an attractive man. If I was straight I’d go after him too y/n!” Lucy added as comfort to you.

“Gee, thanks?” You laughed at these exchange. “I’m gonna go off now to get a lecture on my behavior and maybe later we can grab a coffee or something?” 

“Yeah, we’ll meet you at Sugarberry’s.” 

You made your way towards Professor Choi’s office, tightening the pony tail on your head and mentally preparing yourself to zone out on his speech and just admire the man’s beauty. Just as you were about to knock on the door, it suddenly opened and a young man smiled at you, excusing himself and leaving. You shamelessly stared after the tall blond man, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the shape of his backside came into full view when he readjusted his shirt.

“Miss y/l/n.” The stern voice of your professor drew your eyes to him only to notice how he was now standing right in front of you. “Please take a seat.”

He moved and you shuffled inside taking a seat in front of his desk. 

“How have you been Miss y/l/n?” He asked.

“Good.” You said. 

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” He chuckled when you blushed intensly.

“Sorry about that sir, I had a project due yesterday and haven’t exactly had time to sleep.” You admited with a really strong blush on your cheeks.

“Well Miss y/l/n, I would’ve liked it better if you listened to my lectures instead of sleeping in the middle of it.” He said looking over at his window. 

You being the curious little thing that you are peeked over to see the array of plants which were situated in his window, especially the one he was looking at.

“Are you growing a fennel in your office?” You giggled out loud when you noticed how his eyes widened in embarrassement.

“You know your way around plants?” 

“Yes, I am planning on working in the greenhouses when I get my degree. I really do like plants and growing them.” Your eyes lit up with love as you spoke about your dream. “Even back in my appartement, I basically grow anything and everything I can and get on my roommates nerves because some of the devil ivy reached the bathroom.”

You stopped yourself when you saw how the man in front of you watched you with so much softness and awe in his eyes that the blush which reached your cheeks, spread out to your ears, burning them in the process.

“Would you be interested to join me on a little excursion this Saturday?” He suddenly asked you. 

“An... excursion...?” You tilted your head and you suddenly spoke out. “As in a date?!”

“Oh God no!” He was really quick to deny that and it hurt you a little bit seeing him so quick to say no. “You are one of my best students, and I would like for you to join a small group of my top proteges this Saturday. We’ll be visiting the National Greenhouse and I think it would be a wonderful chance for you all.”

“Oh, I see.” You said, feeling the humiliation crawling up your neck. “Silly me.”

“Would you like to join?”

“Yeah, sure.” You slumped your shoulders. 

“Perfect.” He clapped his hands together in joy. “If you don’t mind I’d like to get your number so that I can add you to our whatsapp group.”

“Yeah, neat.” You took his phone and begrugdingly typed your number. “Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No, that would be all.” He smiled, looking at his phone. “See you on Saturday.”

･*:༅｡

“So what, now you’re going to this outing or whatever it is with like five other students and him?” Phoebe asked clearly pissed off. 

“Yep.” Is all that you could muster.

“But at least you have his number.” Lucy tried to lift your mood.

“But what does that even mean? Nothing.” Phoebe groaned. “She likes him for almost two years, is obvious around him as if she’s carrying a transparent that says ‘marry me’ and the only thing he does is allude to a date but end it as a social gathering for his proteges?” Her eye-roll didn’t go unnoticed. “A bunch of bull if you ask me.”

“Or maybe he is in a position in which he can’t openly ask you out.” A sudden intrusion of another voice made the girls look up and see the waitress come over with their order. “Men are dumb creatures and sometimes they simply need a push when it comes to feelings. My advice to you is to just simply tell him that you’ve liked him for so long and just see where it goes from there.”

“But what if he doesn’t like me back? What if this strains any type of relationship I have with him?” You asked the waitress in the cute and fluffy pink apron. 

“Then at least you’ll know what you’re dealing with and will finally get the chance to move on.” She shrugged her shoulders and thanked them for the money they left her for the drinks, walking back to the inside of the shop.

“You know, that girl actually gives good advice.” Lucy commented.

“Must be nice being in a healthy relationship.” Phoebe muttered out watching the girl inside the shop as she smiled politely to some other customers.

･*:༅｡

Saturday had come by faster than you had liked and you dreaded to leave the appartment. The greenhouse group had decided to meet up at the bus station 12 p.m. sharp and from there professor Choi will drive you guys down to the greenhouse and the tour will begin. 

And right now, it was 11.30 a.m. Your friends were over and had forced you to wear one of your many long dresses to fit in with the flowers you would see in the greenhouse. It was a soft green dress with a pattern of leaves spread out across it. You sighed for the umptenth time as Lucy had braided your hair in a loose fish braid and looked over at Phoebe who was admiring your roommates ability to ignore all the plants inside here.

“It will never stop to amaze me how you put up with all these plants Mina.” She said.

“It’s not that bad.” She smiled. “I have actually grown fond of them. And y/n takes real good care of them so I don’t mind them.” She laughed. “Plus they are a really good background for photos.”

Mina was a photography major who you shared your dorm with in your second year. You two bonded quickly and when you managed to finish the second year, decided that it’d be great to have your own appartment together. And here you were one year later. 

“How are you feeling?” Lucy asked you.

“Nervous. Meh. Disappointed.” You stated turning towards her. “I’ve decided to listen to the advice the waitress at Sugarberry’s had told me. I mean honestly, what could go wrong?”

“The rest of the semester will be pretty awkward if you ask me.” Phoebe nodded her head.

“Like it isn’t now?” You snorted. “I’m just getting tired of having dreamy eyes for my damned professor and being treated like a project for him.”

“A project?” Both Mina and Lucy asked.

“Well this is that isn’t it? His empowering our future or what not. I appreciate the fact that this will help me get my dream job but I literally can’t take this anymore.” You slumped down into the couch.

“Well you better because you have less than ten minutes to get downstairs and to the station.” Mina pointed on the clock and you groaned grabbing your bag and stomping outside of the front door.

“Oh dear, I hope it all goes well.” Lucy commented looking at the other two girls.

Honda Hitomi, Danny Wellbridge, Jackson Wang, Joana Clark. The rest of your outing group was already gathered at the bus station located in front of your appartment complex. You had joined them all just a few minutes before professor Choi pulled up with his car. Joana was the first to call shotgun and sat next to him, while the rest of you evenly pilled in the back. Danny and Jackson in the far back, you and Hitomi in the middle.

“Oh gosh I’m so excited to see all the insects there!” Hitomi squealed in joy. 

“I know what you mean.” Danny added from the back.

“I’m just happy about the plants. I heard they’ve updated their western exhibition and added some new types.” Jackson said.

“Really?” You turned to face him. You’ve seen Jackson around campus a few times before. He was the definition of a social butterfly and sometimes even hanged with Phoebe. But you never got the chance to personally get to know him before this trip. “Do you think there would be some rare types of flowers there too?”

“I don’t know. But it would be awesome.” Jackson said matching your enthusiasm. “Hey, you maybe wanna go together to look around?”

The conversation you two were having was caught by professor Choi and he observed you through the rear view mirror, a prominent scowl on his face.

“Hell yeah!” You nodded with a bright smile.

It wasn’t long before you all made it to the National Greenhouse and were at the entrance waiting for your guide. You evaded talking to professor Choi, directing your full attention to what Jackson was talking about, fearing that if you did speak with him now you’ll loose all your courage to confess later on.

“Students, this is Jeong Yunho. He’s an old college buddy that’s in charge of the Japanese garden in the back and he’ll be our guide today.” Professor Choi spoke up cathing all of yours attention.

“Please call me Yunho.” The man with the pale blue hair smiled at you all and waved. “I’ll give you the main tour and then I’ll let you wonder about on your own. I feel that that way you all will go where your interests pull you.”

The tour was wonderful and you and Jackson managed to bond over every neat little plant you could find. Hitomi and Danny gushed so much when you guys ran accross a caterpillar and you then commented on something stupid drawing Hitomi in and befriending her quickly. The tour had come to an end when you reached the center of the greenhouse area and Yunho turned to them all.

“You are free to go off now, but I’d like it if you went in pairs as to not getting lost. These place is large and it’s quite easy to turn the wrong corner.” He said nodding to professor Choi. “The greenhouse closes at 7 p.m. Have fun. I need to get back to work.”

“Thank you.” You all said in union.

“So, where do you want to go first?” Jackson asked as Danny and Hitomi scurried off towards the insect exhibition. 

“How about visiting the South European-” 

“Mister Wang you should go with Miss Clarck. Your interests seem to be the same and it would be best that way.” Professor Choi cut you off.

“But me and y/n agreed to go together...” Jackson stated.

“Yes, but this is a better suited pair.” He said with a cold smile which made Jackson look at you for help. “Shall we Miss y/l/n?”

This was your chance!

“Sure.” You nodded and looked at Jackson. “I’ll make this up to another day.” You added apologetically and went off after professor Choi.

“So where are we headed?” You asked him.

“A surprise.” He winked at you and it made you blush.

On the way to this ‘surprise’ you have left the greenhouse and moved on to more of a garden scape further back and it just made your heart stop at the beauty of it.

“The interesting fact about the National Greenhouse is that the Botanical Gardens are just a bit behind them, and this is in fact where Yunho works.” Professor Choi stopped and placed a hand on your shoulder pointing in one direction. “See, he’s right over there working on a bonsai tree.”

All the blood rushed up to your ears at the close proximity between you two. The whisper of words made your stomach churn and your legs weak. You needed to get this crush off of your chest soon, otherwise you’ll be stuck fawning over him forever. 

As he guided you towards a small garden a flower caught your eye and you stopped getting a closer look.

“A youtan poluo.” You breathed out in a whisper. “And jade vines.”

“That’s right.” He smiled at your shinning eyes. “Welcome to the rare flower exhibit.” He chuckled. “Surprise.”

You looked around and noticed many more which you’ve only seen in books and on the internet. It was a magnificent sight to see and just the aromas which surrounded you had your head doing summersaults.

“I overheard you and Jackson talking in the back while getting here and I remembered Yunho telling me how they’ve updated their rare flower collection, so I thought you’d be happy if I brought you here.” You looked over at this man and his shy sunshine smile. And you’ve decided. It was now or never. “I was right wasn’t I?”

“I like you.” You stated, looking right at his eyes. Professor Choi looked dumbfounded an at a loss for words. The fast blinks were matching his rapid heartbeat but he was unable to form any words. “I’ve liked you for well over two years now professor. All those times you showed sympathy to me and ignored the fact I fell asleep in your class, or those times you would shyly smile when you noticed I was staring at you regardless of where we were. I know you figured this out already. But I just had to tell you.”

“I like you professor Choi Jongho.”

You looked at him with hope in your eyes as he stood there processing this information you had thrown at him. It felt like the minutes were going by in an eternal stupor of movements, his facial expressions changing as he came in terms with what just happened. You were scared, shaking and nervous. You really didn’t know what to expect. But surely you were not ready to get rejected.

“y/n...” 

It was clear by the tone with which he said your name and the tears welled up in your eyes. Gosh, you were dumb weren’t you.

“Yeah, I figured.” You stated with a sad smile on your face. “It’s okay. I don’t expect anything from you. I was dumb to even say these things to you.” You sighed and gripped your dress for support. “I think it’s better if I go home now. Thank you for bringing me here today and showing me these flowers.” The tears were now feely falling from your eyes, you unable to control them. “It really did make me happy.”

You ran off without stopping. Not when he called after you. Not when you viciously passed by a worried Jackson. Not even stopping to look at the bus number that had just stopped and getting on it. You cried in the back, not caring about all the stares you were getting from the old ladies. 

It hurt. Your heart really hurt.

By some dumb luck you had actually gotten on the right bus and made it back to your appartment complex, you made your way to your appartment and to your room, ignoring the worried roommate who was more than ready to throw hands with a grown ass man. You crawled into your bed, disregarded your plants and just wallowed in your self pitty for the rest of the week.

･*:༅｡

It’s been a whole week and you haven’t left your room except to shower ever since. Jackson and Hitomi had been blowing up your phone, worried after you had just ran out without a word. But you turned off your phone after the fifth call request from Jongho. He had tried calling you that night but you had fallen asleep and the next day when he did call you you cried more getting an earful from Phoebe. 

Hell, you dreaded leaving your room just because you knew Phoebe would make you attend all your classes and yell at you for being M.I.A. for a whole week. 

“She still hasn’t come out of her room?” Lucy asked Phoebe as they both collected their things to leave class. 

“No. Mina leaves food out the door and y/n eats once a day just so she doesn’t die.” Phoebe sighed. “She even neglects her plants Lucy! She never does that. Not even when her grandma died.”

The two were just about to walk out of class when somebody approached them. Lucy’s eyes went wide while Phoebe took on the stance of a dog with rabies. It was apparent he wasn’t welcome.

“Hello girls.” Professor Choi spoke up. 

“No offense, but we don’t want to talk to you sir.” Phoebe grumbled out.

“I know, but please hear me out.” He sighed in defeat. The two looked between each other and Lucy urged Phoebe to let the man talk. “I didn’t get the chance to answer y/n properly and she hasn’t been to my class this week. I’d like for you two to help me so I could talk to her and clear up this missunderstanding.”

“What missunderstanding? Her feelings aren’t a missunderstanding. They’re valid and came from the heart!” Lucy was quick to say.

“I know. But my answer was a missunderstanding.” He said sincerely.

Phoebe caught on pretty quickly by what he meant and narrowed her eyes while she got up in his face. She pointed her insex finger in his chest and harshly jabbed at it.

“I got my eye on you buckeroo.” She stated threateningly. “I know how to hide a dead body.”

Jongho gulpped as he, for the first time, took notice of those fierce eyes this girl had. He nodded furiously, almost cracking his neck. Phoebe pulled back and headed for the door, followed by a confused Lucy. Even Jongho looked defeated as he assumed they were leaving.

“Well? Do you want to talk to her or not?” 

Mina stared at the plate full of food which she had left this morning. It was late afternoon now and she had just come back from her lectures but the plate was untouched. You haven’t left your room at all. 

“y/n.” She whispered out as she knocked on your door. “You need to eat. I don’t want you getting sick...”

No answer. Just like before. She sighed and cast down her eyes as she picked up the tray. A sudden knock on the front door drew her attention and she went to open it, revealing Phoebe and Lucy with an unexpected addition.

“Her room is the one in the corner of the living room.” Phoebe said as Jongho took of his shoes. “He needs to talk with her and I thought you might want to hang with us while he does.”

Mina looked up at the man and nodded, understanding the need for privacy.

“If you manage to get in can you make her eat? She barely had a proper meal this week...” She handed him the tray of food.

“I’ll make sure.”

They left and Jongho went over to your door, noticing how it hand a small potted plant hanging off it. It was cute, something which really suited you. He knocked a few times but there was no answer. With a brave heart and hope that you hadn’t locked you door he tried the knob, happy when it opened. 

The inside of your room was covered in darkness, streetlights seeping in through the large windows. Potted plants were in the window and Jongho noticed how they seemed to be lacking water. He took it upon himself to relive the plants of their thirst, leaving the tray of food on your desk. 

“Go away Mina. I don’t want to eat.” The bundle of sheets spoke and caught his attention. 

It seemed you had made yourself into a taco, some hair sticking out to indicate where your head was. He sat down next to you and placed his large hand on your head.

“Your roommate left a while ago.” He spoke up, catching you off guard. “Before you yell at anybody, I asked your friends to bring me over so that I can talk to you. And I’d like it if you listened to me first before throwing me out.”

Your body stiffened but you kept quiet. You were yet again on the verge of crying but were trying really hard to control yourself.

“I was surprised back at the botanical garden when you confessed your feelings for me. A lot of emotions went through my head and I was dumbfounded for any type of answer at first. I thought how it was wrong for one of my students to fall in love with me, how I should have stopped this crush you had the minute I caught on it... but I just couldn’t do that. I noticed you the first day you had walked into my class, the way your hair swayed with every small movement of your head, how you would soak up every bit of information I gave you like a sponge, even the way you’d chew your nails when stressed.” He sighed when he noticed you calming down and peeked out the covers. “I have liked you since day one y/n. But I though it was wrong and I couldn’t bring you in a situation where you would be involved with your professor.” He chuckled. “To be honest, I would have confessed when you graduated.”

“Really?” You crawled out from underneath the sheets.

“Really.” He nodded with a smile.

“But what does this mean for us now?” You asked, sitting up and letting the covers reveal you whole.

It was only then that Jongho noticed how your hair covered your bare shoulder. The tanktop you were weating hugged your body closely and the booty shorts did not help his eyes to not wander down your bare legs. 

“We can try to make this work. You only have one more year ahead of you. As long as we don’t make it obvious I’m sure we’ll survive.” He stated a deep blush covering his cheeks.

“Are you sure?” You asked with a furrowed brow not understanding why he was suddenly so flustered. But then you noticed how his eyes wandered down your body and suddenly you got self concious. “Are you sure that it won’t be-” You pinned him down onto your bed, stradling his waist. “-troublesome for you?”

Jongho gulped and you brought your face closer. It was too cute not to tease him seeing how he got so flustered he began fumbling with his words.

“It may be troublesome if another man come up to you but I think I can handle him.” He said, his face suddenly turning serious. With as much as little effort he flipped you over, so now the positions were reversed. “Just as I can handle you.”

You held your gazes steadily as he lowered his face, mere inches from your lips. But nothing lasts forever. Especially when you don’t eat properly for a week.

Your stomach grumbled loudly and you blushed at the sound. You were hungry, and he knew it. He laughed and pulled you up, bringing over the plate of food Mina had left him.

“I think that it’s best you eat first. And then we’ll figure something out.” 

You nodded shyly as you ate slowly, enjoying the comfort he gave you with his caring nature.

･*:༅｡

The early morning sun hit the windows of your small room just as the alarm on your phone buzzed underneath your pilow. A soft groan left your lips as you snaked an arm underneath it to turn of the annoying buzz.

“Wake up sleepy head.” The soft whisper reached your ears, making you stir under the covers. “You’ll be late to class.”

“I don’t wanna.” You mumbled out.

Jongho chuckled as he climbed into bed with you, messing up the sheets even more. He peppered your face with kisses as giggles left your mouth and you finally cracked open one eye to look at him. 

“Did you water the plants?” You asked him, noticing how he had some dirt on his cheek.

“Yeah. Mina asked me to model for her for her graduation project just as I was doing it.” He said, wiggling under the covers so he could hug you. “She wants to portray love.”

“Yeah, she told me last night that she was inspired by us while we were planting strawberries on the balcony.” You reached out to kiss him. “I told her I’d do it, but that she should ask you too.”

“Well good because I answered yes.” He smirked kissing you back. “I’m glad you confessed when you did. Because otherwise I couldn’t be apart of something so wholesome.” He smiled wide. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You answered matching his smile. “I’m just glad I listened to that waitress’ advice. Because you really wouldn’t have been a part of something so wholesome!”

[denimbex1986]

'The BBC has issued an apology after a reporter came under fire for their questions to Andrew Scott at the BAFTAs.

The All of Us Strangers actor, 47, faced questions from a BBC reporter on the red carpet at the British Academy Film and Television Arts Awards earlier this month. BBC's Colin Paterson had left viewers branding his tone of questions "homophobic". The clip went viral after Colin asked Andrew about pal Barry Keoghan's hit film Saltburn.

Paterson asked Andrew: "Do you know Barry well?" The actor replied: "I know Barry, yeah." The journalist continued: "Okay, your reaction when you first saw the naked dance scene at the end of Saltburn..." Andrew became visbily uncomfortable with the chat as he laughed awkwardly.

Andrew quipped: "Oh jeez," as he answered: "Okay, well I won't spoil it for anybody. It's great, it's great." Paterson probed again and said: "You can spoil away..." Andrew started to move away as he insisted: "No, no. I won't spoil it for anybody." The BBC reporter asked: "There is a lot of talk about prosthetics, how well do you know him?" Andrew appeared awkward as he told Paterson: "Too much! Too much."

The broadcaster has now explained why the questions were asked after facing backlash online. They said: "Saltburn is a film which has had cultural impact, with Barry Keoghan’s scene at the end gaining a lot of attention in particular – something the actor has addressed himself. Our question to Andrew Scott was meant to be a light-hearted reflection of the discussion around the scene and was not intended to cause offence."

The BBC said Saltburn director Emerald Fennell and singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor also faced the same line of questioning. They continued: "We do, however, accept that the specific question asked to Andrew Scott was misjudged. After speaking with Andrew on the carpet, our reporter acknowledged on air that his questioning may have gone too far and that he was sorry if this was the case."

Fans had initially slammed the interview for being homophobic as Andrew is gay. Taking to social media, one said: "There’s is something so deeply homophobic about asking Andrew Scott a gay man this weird a** question about Barry’s scene in Saltburn??" Another added: "Ask him about all of us strangers the BAFTA nominated film he is in… 'how well do you know Barry' Andrew deserves an apology from the BBC." Someone else commented: "Andrew Scott is an absolute prince for handling this so well. He could easily have told this w****r to f*** off, and no one would mind."

A fourth wrote: "Yeah awful. Please remember how lucky you are to be presenting on a national broadcaster and don’t ask questions like this next time. Poor Andrew Scott." Another user quipped: "This is frankly disgusting," as someone else said: "Asking a gay actor about another man's d**k in a f****** red carpet interview is so absurdly homophobic because it's creepy but also you're assuming because that person is gay they must have liked it/have thoughts about it because 'queers are sex-crazed'. Absolutely disgusting."'

[gotmymindsetonyou]

Reviews for Every Movie I Watched in March+April

Kinda fell off on watching movies after January due to some mental health shtuff, but I’ve slowly been getting back on that horse and I wanted to talk about the movies I’ve seen, so here we are. Take my number ratings with a grain of salt, they’re mostly off the cuff and giving a movie a numbered grade is pretty arbitrary anyway. 

March 1: The Wizard of Oz (1939)  dir. Victor Fleming - 9/10

It is STUPID how good this movie is for 1939. I really do like almost everything about this movie, from the fun characters to the bright and colorful set design to the iconic music. In fact, the only parts of the movie I don’t like are that ugly ass Cowardly Lion and those godforsaken Munchkins.

March 1: Kick-Ass (2010) dir. Matthew Vaughn - 8/10

Even when Matthew Vaughn is bad, he is still amazingly fun, and this movie is by no means a bad movie. Nicolas Cage gives the best performance, I love his delivery on some of his lines. This movie is so much fun y’all. Just watch it, you’ll have a good time. (And yes, I know both Quicksilvers are in this, you don’t have to tell me) 

March 13: There Will Be Blood (2007) dir. Paul Thomas Anderson - 10/10

This is a fuck-you movie. This movie curb stomped me, spat in my face, and told me I’d never make it in this industry. I don’t need to tell you this movie is incredible, ‘cause if you’ve seen it you already know, and if you haven’t you are seriously missing out.

March 14: The Philadelphia Story (1940) dir. George Cukor - 7/10

I had a hard time deciphering how I feel about this movie. I watched this for a Classic Film course, so I had a couple days to listen to and share some deeper analysis, and I feel like this film is actually pretty good. I don’t have any strong feelings on it, check it out if you like classic film.

March 14: Moulin Rouge! (2001) dir. Baz Luhrmann - 8/10

This movie is bombastic as hell, and even if this is a bad movie, it’s a good movie in my soul. Ewan McGregor, please return my calls.

March 15: The Ruthless (2019) dir. Renato De Maria - 5/10

I guess this movie just isn’t for me, I don’t know. I really do like Riccardo Scamarcio in this movie, but that’s the extent of the really good things. I was on a “Santino from John Wick” kick, I can’t really explain it. 

March 20: The Host (2006) dir. Bong Joon-ho - 9/10

Bong Joon-ho has never disappointed me once, and I don’t think he ever will. This is one of the best monster movies I have ever seen (granted I don’t think I’ve seen a lot of monster movies). Watch this movie, it has a wonderful heart and a wonderful monster.

March 20: Citizen Kane (1941) dir. Orson Welles - 10/10

Anything I can say about this movie has already been said, so I’m going to leave you with “I wrote a paper on this film and got a C so fuck this movie” and call it a day.

March 27: Sound of Metal (2019) dir. Darius Marder - 9/10

I am so glad a watched this movie. Riz Ahmed gives an award winning performance if only he hadn’t been competing against Anthony Hopkins. Paul Raci is also really, really good in this movie, and I don’t think that’s mentioned as much, and I think it should be. 

April 6: Casablanca (1942) dir. Michael Curtiz - 9/10

I did not think I would enjoy Casablanca as much as I did, but yeah. This is a great movie. I wanna go on record and say Humphrey Bogart is not tall, he is 5′8″. He wears pumps in this movie and they’re really funny to look at.

April 10: Dr. No (1962) dir. Terence Young - 7/10

This was my introduction to the Bond universe, and I thought it was a pretty good way to get me into the character of James Bond. Sean Connery is the strongest part of this movie as Bond. It is by no means a perfect movie, some aspects are extraordinarily outdated. But as a first crack this movie gets two thumbs up from me.

April 18: The Godfather (1972) dir. Francis Ford Coppola - 10/10

This film is truly something special. I am lucky that I was able to experience the story basically blind (I knew about some specific plot points and some famous lines, but for the most part this was all new to me), and I was extra lucky that I got to watch it with my dad. Being able to watch The Godfather with someone who has a deep love of the genre and the film itself is something that enhances almost every movie going experience. The Godfather is one of the greats. 

April 19: Mank (2020) dir. David Fincher - 6/10

I am not in love with this movie. I don’t hate it, but I don’t particularly like it either. The production design is great, and as a general appreciator of classic cinema I liked those aspects just fine. There’s just something in here that’s preventing me from fully liking this movie. 

April 21: Judas and the Black Messiah (2021) dir. Shaka King - 9/10

The only way I can describe this movie is “important.” King gives us a story of a often left out part of the Civil Rights movement, and it’s a story that everyone should be aware of. Fred Hampton was only 21 when he was assassinated, and yet he left such a mark on the fight for racial equality. Daniel Kaluuya absolutely deserved his Oscar win, he is a dream in this film. This is an uncompromising, tragic, and endlessly relevant movie.

April 23: The Father (2020) dir. Florian Zeller - 10/10

Yeah I cried. Anthony Hopkins is... I don’t think his performance can be summed up in words. It’s heartbreaking, everything about this movie is soul-crushing. 

April 24: Promising Young Woman (2020) dir. Emerald Fennell - 8/10

(You can tell I was cramming for the Oscars at this point) It is really hard to review Promising Young Woman. It’s incredibly polarizing to the film community, and it’s also polarizing in my own opinion. I really don’t know how I feel here, all I know is my feelings are strong. Also every time Bo Burnham was on screen I had a big stupid grin on my face, I can’t wait for his new special to come out. 

April 25: Nomadland (2020) dir. Chloe Zhao - 9/10

What a beautiful experience. This movie, on top of being absolutely gorgeous, has such a wonderful soul that completely shines through Zhao’s directing. There’s a monologue about maybe a half hour in that describes so succinctly the beauty of nature, and as someone who lives in a much more urban area of the world, it’s a description that I don’t get to see that often in my life. That’s why I love film. If Promising Young Woman made me angry at the world Nomadland made me fall back in love with it.

April 25: Minari (2020) dir. Lee Isaac Chung - 8/10

Watching Minari is like being gently set on fire. My feelings aren’t as strong as they were for Nomadland, and I don’t have much to say, but I still adore this movie and think it’s worth watching. 

April 26: Singin’ in the Rain (1952) dir. Gene Kelly, Stanley Donen - 8/10

I think my film teacher puts it best in describing this movie as “just so stinkin joyous.” That’s what this movie is, it’s joy put to film. I love how you can clearly see the excitement over making film that comes through in older movies, I feel like you don’t really see that anymore. 

April 28: Some Like It Hot (1959) dir.  Billy Wilder - 7/10

As glaringly outdated this film is, I still managed to have a pretty good time with it, although I can totally see why the plot could put some people off, or even make them outright dislike the film as a whole. Marilyn Monroe playing a ukulele made me feel very seen. (This is my first Marilyn movie as well!)

April 29: Snowpiercer (2013) dir. Bong Joon-ho - 8/10

CHRIST this movie is intense. The best part of Snowpiercer is it is engaging as hell. Unfortunately I had to duck out about three quarters of the way through to get some dental work done, but rest assured under different circumstances I would have been glued to the screen from start to finish. The premise is chilling (ha ha, get it), and the subplot of class disparity is also really compelling. If you know me you’ll know that I love me some John Hurt, Song Kang-ho has been great in pretty much every movie I’ve seen him in, TILDA FUCKING SWINTON rocks every scene she’s in. My only real problem here is sometimes Chris Evans is a bit hit or miss for me, I really like his performance at times, and I like it less at others. It has been cool to see him grow as an actor over the years, you can definitely see his improvement in more recent movies. In any case, I stand by my previous statement, Bong Joon-ho has never disappointed me once, and I don’t think he ever will.

[tintentrinkerin]

Harness & Spears Chapter 6/10

Warning: oral sex

Read below the cut or on AO3

It was a drive of around 6 hours and Sam and Jack needed to take two short breaks to refuel the car and Jack needed some fresh air one hour before they reached their destination. He got travel sick for the first time ever. But they took another car, neither the Impala nor the car Jack drove when he sneaked to Gilead. Jack still felt weird when they arrived at the motel.

Checking in was quick. Jack was surprised which motel Sam chose and Sam just gave him a smirk.

“This is luxurious!”, Jack calls out when they enter their room on the fourth floor.

“Yes, it is luxurious compared to what Dean and I are used to, we lived in really shabby stinky rooms more than once.”

Sam is wise enough to not just start telling tales of the ‘good old times’ with Dean, because that is not what Jack wants to hear right now. Dean is a topic they will avoid for as long as they’re here.

“I would say, I unpack our stuff, prepare some tea and you get better with your sickness, hm?”

Jack turns around. He isn’t that sick anymore, but Sam just offered him some pampering, how could Jack say no to that?

“Are you sure? I can help you with unpacking.”

Sam already opened his suitcase and now starts packing folded shirts and shorts in the cupboard. He turns around to Jack with a grin.

“It’s no bother, just unwind a little, take a nap while I unpack. Won’t take long.”

Jack fills the electric cattle with water and chooses a tea from the tea table. He hasn’t seen any of these so far, it seems very european, at least that’s what Sam told him, when he once was in Ireland. But he is also super curious what Sam packed. While the kettle starts working and Jack chooses fennel tea he looks over to Sam. It looks like he packed a lot for a week trip. Sam is the neater of the two brothers and carries extra underwear, even a hair dryer, three pairs of shoes. They haven’t decided on which disguise yet, but since it was a ghost hunt that had zero body count yet, they would maybe go with the ‘paranormal activity journalist’ thing, even though Jack loved also being FBI. After Cas told him after the teddy bear case he probably wasn’t the best actor in the field, he would let Sam talk anyway. Sam was big and earnest and super convincing.

Jack hears a rustling and how Sam hurries to hide what he was about to unpack back in his rucksack.

“What was that?”, Jack asks with a raised eyebrow.

On their drive here Sam chose to do the whole ride and while riding shotgun Jack played on his smartphone and he did what he always does since he and Sam are together. He educates himself about sex. He knows Sam will show him everything one day and also answer a lot of questions, but some things he just doesn’t spill. Jack is dying for answers, all the time, every waking minute with Sam. And that looked like a foil package of condoms.

Sam blushes and zips his bag, avoiding eye contact.

“Nothing, nothing that’s important.”

The kettle is done and Jack fills a mug with hot water and adds to bags of tea. He likes his tea strong and intense.

“Sam, that looked like condoms.”

Sam looks like caught in the act. And then he lets his shoulders hang.

“Yes, but it’s an old bag, I- I didn’t unpack it completely. They might have expired anyway.”

Jack is a little disappointed. Of course he had his hopes high for a second.

“Hey, baby, please don’t be disappointed.”

Sam shuffles the bag aside and invites Jack on the big king size bed. Damn it would be the perfect occasion. They’re alone and what did Sam just say yesterday? That he wants to be with Jack. And yes, yes, they are together almost all the time and they do the most exciting and thrilling things, Jack is regularly blown away and unable to form coherent statements when Sam is done with him, but… deep inside Jack he is aching for what people call ‘the first time’ and make a big fuss about. Jack reads a lot. He doesn’t like adult movies or porn, though, it’s tacky and he feels like this kind of intercourse in porn doesn’t resemble in the slightest what Sam and him would have. But how could he know if Sam didn’t show him?

Jack follows the invitation after a little hesitation, gets out of his shoes and opens his jeans, his belly hurts and Sam told him reducing pressure would, thus unbuttoning his pants or take them off completely. Sam also is barefoot now, out of his pants and Jack dives in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Jack, I know you want it. And I didn’t want to raise your hopes.”

“Is this all because I’m a virgin and you would be my first? And you have to stay pure and a virgin for as long as possible”, Jack asks quietly.

“Did you browse weird purity websites, Jack? Virginity is just a concept. The human body is made for having sex at one point in their life. That’s why you go through puberty, start having sexual feelings, breasts and penis grow, wet dreams, periods… all of this. Shaming someone for having sex is like shaming monkeys to climb trees. It’s bullshit. It’s sexist. I love being your first, but not because I think you’d be ‘unclean’ if someone else before me had sex with you, I just like the intimacy, being able to get to know you well enough to know what’s the best pleasurable way for you. And I’m very damn glad Hunter didn’t lay a finger on you.”

“But why don’t we have sex then?”, Jack asks with a trembling ache in his chest.

“You might be a virgin, but why I’m going slow is because I like going slow per se. I had sexual encounters that happened on the day the person and I met, and it was passionate and great and all, but… you remember the tacky jokes from Cas and Dean, that my cock is deadly?”

Jack chuckles, then nods. “Yeah.”

“That really happened a lot. I thought I liked someone, and then they were possessed by a demon, were a werewolf, I even had a sexual relationship with someone from whom I knew was a demon and that was even the whole point. I did it when I was mourning Dean. Later Dean stabbed her after-”

Sam swallows deeply.

“She, Ruby, was responsible for Lucifer to be freed from the Cage the first time. She tricked us into opening all the portals.”

“Oh. I don’t know what to say, Sam. I’m sorry.”

“None of this is your fault.” Sam says with a bitter undertone. “Back to the actual topic. I’ve been through a lot of experiences that seemed pleasant maybe, sexually, but in the end they got hurt, or I got hurt. I had a lot of people violate my body.”

Jack stiffens and attempts to get up, protesting.

“I would never-”, he calls out.

“Yes, you wouldn’t . I know that.”

But your maker did , Sam thinks bitterly. But when he looks at Jack, he sees Cas. Never Lucifer. And still he has issues to fully give in.

“But, Sam… I wished we could go further. I know you think I’m just a horny teenager but I feel-”, Jack clears his throat and winds out of the embrace to take a sip of his tea. It’s hot and he burns his tongue.

“I really like you, Sam, I want to be as close to you as possible. It’s a consuming feeling, it’s eating me up. I would say it’s wildly romantic to be so horny for each other, but I’m aching inside for you. Sam… I-”

Jack can’t make himself say it. “I want you so bad. ”

Sam takes the cup out of Jack’s hand and puts it on the nightstand. Slowly pulling Jack in his hug again, this time in his lap. Jack melts everytime when Sam does that and Jack can see in Sam’s face that he knows.

“Jack, believe me, I want you too. I want you a lot. It’s hard to resist you, oh, sometimes I feel like it’s impossible.”

It’s wonderful to hear that, it’s healing the aching, but only for a little and Jack knows it will come back at him even worse. He sighs and enjoys the shivers down his spine when Sam’s hand circles on his back, between his shoulder blades; a familiar motion. Never failing to make Jack either even hotter or calm him down. Sometimes it’s hard for him to differ which feeling is which. With Sam everything is right and upside down at the same time. Secretly Jack envies all of Sam’s lovers. And to hell with it, he is jealous that Dean had to have Sam so close for all these years, see him in puberty, see him maybe feeling lust for the first time-

It takes Jack a second to realize he’s just thinking about brothers, just that with the Winchesters nothing really surprises him anymore. Not even his own fantasy of teenage Sam, in full hormonal rage, humping pillows, like Jack once did when he didn’t know what the feeling he experienced really meant and how to prolong or end it.

“You’re still very victorious of resisting my qualities.”

“You sound like a dandy”, Sam chuckles, “Believe me it’s a daily struggle to not just…”

Jack’s stomach sinks and his groin is painfully hard and hot in a matter of milliseconds.

“Not just what, Sam?”, he whispers.

Sam turns both of them around and Jack lands on his back, squealing a little. It’s such an innocent, young sound that Jack has to recognise himself he sounds young and inexperienced. Sam shoves Jack’s shirt up to his armpits.

“Sam?”

Jack’s voice is shaky.

“I will show you how much I want you, okay?”

“I’m certainly not stopping you, please show me.”

He pushes up on his arms, looking down at Sam, who pulls down Jack’s shorts.

“How’s your stomach?”, he asks, kissing Jack’s abs.

Oh, fuck. Jack has to let his head fall back and he stares on the ceiling, thin blue waves dancing in his eyesight.

“My stomach? Miracle cure” he says with a raw groan.

As soon as Sam touches him in a certain way, Jack just elevates, his senses focus on what they’re doing and probably the motel could just go down in a blast of flames and Jack wouldn’t even notice he’s burning alive.

Sam’s long hair tickles Jack’s skin and he chuckles and winds a little, Sam holds him steady, there will always be one strong arm along Jack’s spine, supporting him, showing him that Sam won’t let go. And that he’s Sam’s. Jack would never ever let anyone else touch him like that. One hand digs deep in Sam’s hair, strong brown streaks, slightly curling. Unsure if to push him further down or pull him back up Jack just holds on, feels for Sam’s lips, his slick and talented tongue, waiting for the next sensation, waiting for his own wishes to form words, then sentences.

“Sam, I want you, I don’t wanna wait any longer…”

The kisses upwards stop and Sam looks up, lips wet and glistening, tongue flicking over his lower lip. It’s obscene as it is beautiful.

“I will make it worth the wait, Jack. Believe me, there are so many unbelievably good things we can do…”

“I want you… really, I want you… inside me.” Jack’s words splatter out of his mouth and he’s aroused yet a little ashamed.

Sam hikes up completely and lays Jack down. Kisses the ‘but’s and ‘when’s and ‘want’s away. Jack struggles, frustrated and horny, mood shifting between whiny and angry.

“You will, Jack. You will get everything you want and more. Please give it a little more time. It won’t be long, I promise. I know how you feel.”

A single mad tear rolls down Jack’s face.

“Sam, I want to be so much closer, I need to feel part of you in me…”

Sam kisses away the tear, tastes the salt. Jack is a shaking, needy mess, legs spread, shirt shoved up under his chin. Nipples hard, goosebumps all over and a raging hard cock between them.

“Are my fingers okay, too?”

Jack nods frantically. He remembers the orgasm that was so mind blowing and got ruined by Dean and Cas running into them.

“Yes, again, please.”

And Sam is a keeper of his promises.

Jack is shaken to the core before Sam even penetrates him. It’s a delight to see, only the sight of Jack’s golden eyes, the slight quakes, he’s so responsive in a unique way and it’s only for Sam. If Jack only knew how hard it really is for him to not just take the boy here and now, thrust in this perfect pale mannequin body, Sam has never seen anything so breathtaking. Of course he wants to feel Jack’s insides, he wants to drain the last drop of cum out of him while Jack rides him, GOD , Sam would do a lot to experience that in a complete guilt free and perfect way, like Jack deserves. Part of him wants to mark the naphil as his, show everyone that Sam is the luckiest man alive, because Jack chose him. Damn, fucking him until he’s loose and barely able to utter anything else than faint moans or sobs, yes, Sam wants to make Jack never forget the sex they’ll have. But he can’t. Not yet.

If Jack only knew that corrupting something so beautiful, so rare, so graceful strikes Sam with such terror -- to do it wrong. To disappoint.

If Jack only knew that Sam isn’t the strong indestructible man he might appear like. That things inside him are just broken and cannot be fixed. And it could destroy what they have. And Sam can’t have Jack shatter on the truth. He wants Jack to shatter on his body, shaking and in extacy. And in perfect bliss.

“Sam, please”, Jack coos.

Sam will not just give Jack his fingers, he’ll give him his tongue and mouth. Jack’s cock is full, red, tip glossy with precum Sam spread across already. He doesn’t hesitate to press the tip of his tongue on the bundle of nerves right underneath the glans while wrapping his lips around the tip. Jack sounds broken, his hips jerk and he simultaneously tries to pull away, his hands in Sam’s hair.

“Sam, so much! It’s so much!”

“Is it good much or bad much, baby?”

“Good”, Jack admits, “it was in a movie and when I saw it…”

Jack covers his mouth with his shivering hand, biting his finger.

“It was good?”

Jack nods.

“I won’t go on if you think it’s too much.”

“Oh, I… I don’t know Sam, it’s really hot, but what if I spill…”

Sam chuckles.

“Don’t worry about it.”

While talking he gently keeps jerking and Jack relaxes a little.

“I don’t want you to stop Sam, I want all of it.”

“Sure?”

“Yes, please keep going. Can I watch you?”

Jack looks down and Sam sees nothing but longing in his eyes. Good.

Sam laughs. “Of course, feel free.”

Jack already tastes a little salty from precum and Sam goes slow, it’s a new sensation and it’s just a matter of time until Jack won’t be able to hold his orgasm anymore. Sam risked it to take two fingers for Jack this time, circling his sweet spot steadily and sucking him in the same slow torturing rhythm. Jack’s hand in his hair clenches and relaxes before also his other hand grasps for some loose strands. His noises are so sweet, Sam’s cock jumps and aches with every new little ‘oh’ or whispered name it’s harder to stay patient and noble. Sam’s primitive part wants to go on without any mercy, suck Jack off, fuck this tight sweet ass with until he’s sore and force orgasm after orgasm out of this beautiful boy.

Jack’s breath hitches and his hips thrust up in Sam’s mouth, not enough to make him gag but enough to make his mouth water even more, make the blowjob sloppy and full of wet noises. Immediate reactions. Moaning. Fingernails scratching his scalp.

“Sam! I’m….”

Jack doesn’t need to finish that sentence, Sam can feel it coming. Jack’s cock grows even harder, a little bigger - or is that wishful thinking? - and Sam can’t resist to swallow as deep as possible, his fingers ramming into that tight hole -- fuck, Sam is about to cum himself untouched just by how Jack feels, tastes and these sounds. Fuck, these sounds should be forbidden.

“Close”, Jack cries, “Sam, so close!”

Sam would love to answer, give Jack some encouraging answers but he can’t stop now. He wants to feel Jack filling his mouth, he wants everything Jack can give right now. It should be painful, how Jack clings onto his hair, pulling and ripping. It isn’t.

With some firm and frantic rubs of Jack’s prostate and Sam moaning with his mouth full of cock the boy arches his back and cries so sweetly, his legs crossed behind Sam’s back start pressing them even closer together, his hands push and pull.

“I’m coming”, Jack’s voice is clear as a bell, no trembling.

And then he shoots his cum, thick hot spurts in Sam’s mouth and while Jack gasps and moans so loud the neighbors might hear, Sam swallows and keeps stroking, keeps sucking.

If Sam only looked up, he could see the molten glowing honey shade of Jack’s angel eyes, wide open, his shaking body and a faint blue light illuminating the face perfectly shaped like marble, Grace surrounding him like a halo.

Light bulbs pop and TV starts crackling -- just seconds later everything turns quiet.

Sam looks up, catching the rest of cum with his thumb from his lips and licks it up. Jack looks down at him, his eyes teary and still shining a little.

“Sam…”, he croaks.

Sam crawls up and Jack immediately snuggles up into an embrace.

“Did you just cause a blackout?”, Sam asks with a grin.

Jack sobs. “I think so... It was…”

“Yes, I felt it. Overwhelming?”

“I still feel like I’m shaking…”

Sam hugs him tighter. “You are still shaking a little. I will hold you.”

It takes a little for them to calm down. Actually, Sam can’t calm down, he is tenting his boxer briefs. There’s no way to hide it. Jack shifts, a hand runs under the fabric. Sam forgets to breathe for a moment.

“You don’t have to”, he whispers.

Jack doesn’t stop.

“But I want to.”

[minkdenmilo]

💙 Autism Trait Listing Time 💙

I am self-diagnosed as of now but I'm in the process of trying to get tested and my diagnosed friend said that a lot of what I told her lines up so it's likely I am autistic.

+ Constant Fidgeting: Bouncing of my leg, Tapping of my fingers - If I stop I am physically uncomfortable and tend to shake my ankle/foot or shake my wrist/hand

+ Sensory Oveload at Noise: Usually it's not the loudness of noise for me, but the overlapping of noises. Hearing a television play a show + someone talking + someone somewhere else talking etc. makes me get a headache and I sometimes feel like crying because I can't focus or really hear myself think.

+ Sensitivity to Sudden/Loud Noises: I flinch and startle at loud noises frequently- to the point in which it is noticeable by friends. If the bell goes off when I don't expect it to or the fire alarm I nearly fall out of my chair. If my dad raises his voice or if anyone gets upset and raises there voice I instantly assume they're yelling and tense up- even if they're just raising their voice a little.

+ Tactical/Texture Sensitivity: I detest certain textures and actively avoid them like cotton balls (which feel like how nails on a chalkboard sound), fennel/rosemary, any texture in drinks, nuts in bread, etc. in which my family has noticed and teased me over. Where as other textures I adore and constantly seek out like tree bark or soft fur like textures.

+ Stimming(?): I constantly pick at my skin and when I try to stop I can briefly before I go back to doing it without thinking because it's relaxing. I constantly play with the joysticks on my Nintendo Switch to help compensate and give my hands something to do. I use a fidget spinner sometimes as well to help relax and when I get anxious I use it more often cause the noise it makes and the action of spinning it is helpful. I also do the ASL (sign language) alphabet without thinking to myself just cause it's relaxing and when told to stop I get a bit anxious. I tap my fingers together repetitively a lot and my friends have noted this and have mentioned I tend to do it more when I'm stressed or bored.

+ Hyperfixation: I have the habit of finding something I like and then focusing on it violently. When I was a kid I would watch the same three movies (Newsies, Highschool Musical, and Hairspray) on repeat until I memorized the lines. I went through a phase where everyday I watched Total Drama for like half a year- I still remember the events of each episode. If I watch a video on a video game I have to look up the Wikipedia entry on it, read everything in the fan wiki, and watch video after video deconstructing the game until I'm satisfied. I'll listen to the same song for hours at a time for a week or more and then ramble about it to my friends. My habit of infodumping everything I know about a subject bothers my families and friends. I'll ramble for an hour about an idea I have for a play to a friend before realizing I haven't shut up cause I know most people don't care about minute things like I tend to.

+ Being a Kid: As a kid I was definetely the odd one out. I would hug everyone regardless of who they were, how close we were, or if they were receptive. I just had to hug people- I would get upset if I couldn't hug people. To this day I have stuffed animals I hug because I get anxious without the physical sensation of hugging after too long. I never seemed to be on quite the same wavelength and would stare people down just randomly, even I didn't really understand why I'd do it but I would just lock eyes with someone and not stop until they told me to. People would openly mock me and it would go over my head because I genuinely thought they were my friends and were being nice (I would get called werewolf due to my messy hair and sharp teeth and I would just smile and say I preferred being a vampire). I wore the same velcro shoes everyday until they wore out and demanded my mom buy the exact same pair. I'd cry whenever someone hurt my feelings even once I turned 10 and 11. I accidentally hurt my friends by punching them or pinching them cause I didn't realize how much I was hurting them until I drew blood or they demanded I stop.

+ Routine: I hate being late. I hate being on time. I have to be 10 minutes early to everything. If I have to be somewhere at 9 and its a 30 minute drive then I have to leave the house at 8 or 8:10. If it hits 8:11 and we aren't on the road I lose it. I cry and panic and I shake like a leaf until my dad starts the car. In elementary if we were even a second late I'd sob uncontrollably and panic. Now I still cry and shake but it's not as bad. I am an avid rule follower even when I know I'm being silly. My friends and I went to an abandoned building and I was anxious that we'd be arrested despite knowing people did it all the time and it was fine. I had to stay at school after hours for a project and I wouldnt stop worrying we'd get caught and expelled even though our teacher said we could. When I was like 8 or 9 I read about how not turning off your heater started fires so every day before I left for school I'd check to make sure the heater and oven were turned off three times each. Even if we'd never turned them on in the first place. I haven't been able to focus in online school without the structure of being physically in school no matter how hard I try. When my dad takes the family places last minute I feel unbearably anxious and out of it, even when I am aware I am overreacting. I have noticed executive disfunction issues in the past and when presented with multiple things I need to do I get overwhelmed and panic and do nothing instead. I hate clutter and in the desire to clean one item I end up deep cleaning everything just because I start one chore then think of another in the process and it spirals from there.

+ Misc: I have always been the sensitive emotional child. My mom frequently teases that I never get her sarcasm. I can't decipher how people feel unless I can hear their voice and see their face which makes texting and to a lesser extent voice calling anxious and weird for me. I actively avoid eye contact with people I don't know well and avoid conversation on elevators or in public spaces. I adore watching slime videos and stim boards are wonderful now that I've discovered them. Math isn't my strong suit because the numbers don't make sense to me- I can't decipher even simple algebra equations but I've always been great at reading and I pride myself on my vocabulary and way with words. Despite this I can't give speeches or explain things to save my life even if I know exactly what I mean and want to say I just cannot verbalize it properly so I have to write down exactly what I want to say before I say it. Even then I ramble too long and my dad frequently notes I can never "get to the point and trim out the unnecessary details" but like- I can't tell which details are necessary or not. I can never be presented a broad piece of information and understand it, I need every minute detail first otherwise I cannot understand the bigger concept and thus when I speak I provide every detail to make my point crystal clear. I also feel uncomfortable around authority figures and adults- way more than seems normal- and avoid eye contact and tend to be especially anxious and respectful because adults and authority figures just scare me.

These are all just like the immediate things that jump into mind + context around them. Idk if these could actually point to me being autistic but if anyone has any advice or help then please let me know. I'm kinda worried I'm being a hypochondriac but that might just be because my dad doesn't believe in autism so I'm internalizing that.

I've had close friends say some of my symptoms seem like anxiety or OCD but the texture based stuff and the fact that I have purposefully tried to stop stimming and fidgeting and have tried to repress my natural behaviors due to being seen as like weird and "off" makes me think maybe it might be autism and I just didn't realize because I assumed everyone dealt with similar things and I just was bad at handling it.

[elderling-magic]

“Fool’s Errand”: Question Time

1. What were your favourite moments?

All of them! Every single page. But I will try to write just some here that hit different.

Chade’s visit;

Fitz unknowingly skilling to both Dutiful and Nettle and them dreaming of him;

Fitz comforting Hap and being pleased at him wanting to find work by himself;

Jinna reading Fitz’s palm;

The amazing reunion of my favourite trio and the entire time in the cottage!!!

FENNEL!!!

Fitz trying to convince Laurel that Nighteyes is a dog and she not buying it;

Fitz calling Beloved a creature of sun and sky and being surprised Laurel picked Lord Golden over him right after that thought (wake up, you homo!)

When Beloved admits he is actually tired of the charade and misses Fitz;

First dinner at the Bresingas where Fitz looks hot af and LG charms everyone;

When Fitz finds LG and Laurel together and tries to convince himself he isn’t jealous;

When LG flirts with Sydell and licks Civil’s hand!!! Plus Fitz’s reactions to the entire thing;

Nighteyes’ stopping Fitz from torturing the piebald and Beloved thanking him and touching Fitz’s face to make sure he is still there;

Fitz encountering Dutiful and admiting he is his son and looks exactly like him;

Dutiful telling about his first love and how Fitz and Beloved react;

Fool and Nighteyes staying behind so Fitz could escape with the prince and them protecting each other against the Piebalds the best they could;

The dream and Nighteyes’ death ;___; the knot in my throat is such a nice feeling (is not);

Dutiful trying to figure out who Fitz really is (Chade and Lady Thyme’s son, of course!) and getting Fitz and Beloved as his first real friends;

Fitz and Beloved being glad to find each other in bed and that the other didn’t spend the night with a woman because no homo;

Fool once again admiting he loves Fitz and Fitz hurting him by going to see Hap (Jinna) and not realizing Fool is being serious, actually.

2. Favourite quotes?

“Your one true love is stitched in and out through your life. Love will return to you. Don’t doubt that.”

“I didn’t lose any wild pigs. Did you?”

“You can be the dead fish. I’ll be the old stick.”

“It doesn’t matter who a man’s father is. Your parents made a child, but it’s up to you to make the man you’ll be.”

“He didn’t tell me to be careful, but it was in his look.”

“The past is no further away than the last breath you took.”

“I opened my mouth, then helplessly spread wide my arms. At the gesture that said all I had no words for, an answering look lit his face. He glowed as if a light had been kindled in him. He did not dismount but flung himself from his horse towards me, a launch aided by Nighteyes’ sudden charge from the woods towards him.”

“What does who call me when?”

“We are whole.”

“And what do you believe?” A slow smile spread over his face. “I believe in you. You are my new beginning.” (no homo)

“Well, if you cannot call me Beloved, then I suppose you should continue to call me Fool. For I am ever the Fool to your Fitz.”

“Care to dance?” “We already do.”

“In the space of a sundown, you show me the wide world from a horse’s back, and the soul of the world within my own walls.”

“Death is always less painful and easier than life! You speak true. And yet we do not, day to day, choose death. Because ultimately, death is not the opposite of life, but the opposite of choice. Death is what you get when there are no choices left to make.”

“Silence can ask all the questions, where the tongue is prone to ask only the wrong one.”

“All cats talk however they want. To whomever they want. But only a rude human speaks out of turn. Be quiet.”

“Little Brother, do not treat me as if I am already dead, or dying. If you see me that way, then I would rather truly be dead. You steal the now of my life away, when you constantly fear that tomorrow will bring my death. Your fears clutch cold at me and snatch all my pleasure in the day's warmth from me.”

“You’ve made me look like an idiot. That wasn’t hard.”

“He looked like a creature of sun and sky.” (no homo)

“Nothing finer than we two has dined in these halls before.”

“Oh, please, beloved. You needn’t be jealous. It was the most brief and chaste kiss you can imagine.”

“Go on without me. The hunt belongs to the swift and keen. ShallI go on without my eyes and nose, then? And without your brain too, alas. Be on your way, little brother, and save your flattery for someone who might believe it.”

“‘Did he say anything while you were bandaging him?’ Lord Golden considered. Then a smile broke through his façade. ‘Ouch?’ the Fool offered.”

“‘I think the Prince might be in danger,’ I admitted. ‘You’re only now concluding that?’“

“He wore my face.”

“‘I’ll see them against the firelight in time to take action.’ ‘What action?’ I shrugged. ‘If there’s a few, we fight. If there’s many, we run.’ ‘Complex strategy. Chade taught you well.’

“’Alone?’ The Fool looked puzzled. A very odd smile twisted his mouth. ‘But he will not be alone. I will be here with him. And,’ he drew himself up, squaring his shoulders, ‘I will die before I allow them to kill him.’ Ah, that would be so much better.”

“I could have driven cattle through the gap in his logic.”

“Wait for you? Not likely. I've always had to run ahead of you and show you the way.” (cue me crying)

“Fitz. You know I love you, don’t you?”

3. Did the reread change your opinion of the book? In what way?

No. This is still one of my absolute favourite books in the series. I did notice a few more things this time though, like how Fitz says “I had been content” at the start of the book, which mirrors the end of this trilogy and means that the AQ ending was only as happy as the FF one (not much). Also, some friends made me notice how wrongly Fitz was treating Dutiful and harming him by pushing him around and such. Yeah, Fitz doesn’t shine that bright here with that and the torture... I also noticed that hunter at the Bresingas was totally interested in Laurel. Oh, I also don’t think this is the happiest Fitz book anymore. But it does have a very good balance between dramatic and comedic moments that I love. Oh, and Fitz had the hots for Laudwine and I only noticed it now. Thank you for reading.