#also gonna log out of tumblr later tonight

[crystallizabethine]

Gosh I am not looking forward to finals week...

[bubbledumbbinch]

Yandere! Idia Shroud x Camgirl! Reader SMUT

A/N: Hello! This is my first fic I've posted on tumblr, and I'm not used to using it at all. I hope this turned out okay and you enjoy! This is a College AU, implied magicless world, and reader is a camgirl.

This fic is purely 18+, minors do not interact.

Word Count: ~4.4k

Warnings: dubcon, brief mention of blood, non consensual drug use (aphrodisiacs)

Friday night, 11:24pm, 6 minutes before your scheduled time to start “work”. You had just finished putting on your makeup and outfit, now trying to hype yourself up in the mirror.

'I can do this. This is gonna be a great show!' You told yourself, while staring at your reflection wearing the revealing outfit. Tonight’s choice was a catgirl maid costume; the maid dress just barely covering your body and showing a large amount of chest. A choker with a bell on it, cat ears, and thigh high socks.

Giving yourself a nod of encouragement, you sat down in the chair in front of your desk, where your laptop and webcam were situated, along with your ring lights, one at each side of the desk so you were well lit for the camera. Making sure you were logged into the site, your camera angle looked good, and your laptop was charging, you waited.

You loved your side gig as a camgirl. You were able to appeal to multiple people’s sexual desires while also being able to bring yourself to pleasure, sometimes more than once per stream, if there were enough donations of course. You were also able to make a decent amount of money while doing this side job, paying for college while having fun was a pretty big plus. And, if you were gonna be honest, the validation of being attractive to so many people really made you feel a lot better about yourself.

You quickly noticed your clock switch to 11:30pm. Time to start. You clicked on the set of buttons you pretty much knew by heart to get the show started. Once it did, you started up some music to fill the silence. Just some cute electronic music to dance in your chair to while you wait for the viewers to come in. You didn’t really have as many as the big camgirls but you had a few loyal people come and watch your streams, which set your heart at ease.

5 viewers

cay-kun @ 11:31pm: wooow y/n-chan, you look so cute! excited for tonight’s show~

User18535 @ 11:32pm: fuck you’re so goddamn cute, i love your tits. can’t wait to see what that pussy looks like

10 viewers

You playfully giggled while reading the last message, winking and sticking your tongue out while flashing the camera your panties from under your skirt. While waiting for more people to join, you also made a point to talk to your viewers, asking about their day and what they’ve been up to recently, which they loved you for.

25 viewers

User58273 @ 11:34pm: You look so kawaii, I wish I could have you service me.

40 viewers

Glancing at the viewer count, you decide to officially start.

“Hi hiii~ I’m so happy to see you all here tonight! Let’s have some fun, hmm?” you started playfully. “Do you guys like my outfit?” Messages of “yes” and “yeah baby”s began flooding the chat and you grinned. “Well, I have something that will be a real treat for you all~”

You reached over to grab something that couldn’t be seen by the camera or the viewers.

~~~~~

Idia was browsing through the site full of nude streamers, trying to find a person to watch so he could relieve his tension from this week. It was midterms season and his Computer Science teachers were giving him hell by making him do in person presentations, exams, and assignments that kept piling up. It took a lot of time away from gaming and side projects of coding his own programs. He also unfortunately didn’t have his little brother Ortho with him in college, as the university didn’t allow them both to attend “as one student”. Ortho definitely eased some stress as someone he could trust and talk to, but Idia’s parents decided to keep Ortho at home to “prevent Idia from being distracted”, much to his dismay.

Idia was at least blessed to not have a roommate, so he could at least have his own privacy for nights like this. Idia’s eyes landed on a thumbnail of a girl that was dressed in cat ears and a lewd maid outfit and was intrigued. He clicked on the video icon and was met with your figure bent so that your ass was up and legs were spread on the chair you were previously sitting on. The girl on the stream had her panties down to her knees and was currently lubing up a cat tail butt plug.

“Ah, I’ve never used this before so, bear with me, please!” She pleaded, eyes looking directly at the camera. Idia was intrigued now this was her first time using it. He felt like this was perfect timing, almost like she was doing it just for him. Until he saw the comments flooding in from different people who were probably thinking the same way.

“Put it in already”

“Go slow okay~”

“don’t force yourself if you don’t want to! >//<”

“Tch,” Idia scoffed to himself. “Seems like she has simps already. No use in being interested in someo-“

“H- here it goes!” You moaned, starting to slowly shove the length and girth of the butt plug into your tight hole. “Aaanh~ it’s stretching me out...” Your eyes pricked with tears while your face contorted into pure pleasure with a hint of pain, all while staring at the camera. Every so often he could hear the little jingle from the bell on your choker.

Idia felt his pants getting tighter and his palms were starting to sweat. The face you made at him was just too unreal and he needed more. He palmed at his growing erection while you shivered at the feeling of being filled by the toy. Pulling his sweatpants down to his ankles, he started stroking his cock lightly.

cay-kun @ 11:38pm: oh y/n-chan the way that stretches out your hole is so sexy~ definitely taking a screenshot for later!

User39748 @ 11:38pm: SHIT i wish i was there fucking you with that in your ass

Blushing, you turned around so that one of your legs were in the chair while your other was up, effectively showing the camera a view of your pussy and butt plug. “What do you want me to do? I’ll just play with myself until someone makes a donation and tells me what I should do! Highest bidder within the next minute~.” With that, you looked into the camera again while soaking your middle and ring fingers with saliva and bringing them to your clit, rubbing small circles into it.

Idia realized that, even now, he wanted to have some kind of control over you. He had a lot of disposable income, being from a pretty rich family. The blue haired boy grabbed his credit card and began to type.

Ignia has donated $100!

Your eyes widened and you gasped slightly. Idia bit his bottom lip at the sight. “Ah, Ignia! Thank you for the donation, you’re new here! Welcome, what would you like to see me do~?” You smiled while looking at the camera. Idia felt like you were staring into his soul and he was sweating profusely. He thought for a minute, gulped, and decided to send a message.

Ignia @ 11:43pm: I want you to keep watching my messages and do what I say, kitten. First I want you to grab a vibrating dildo if you have one and put it at the lowest setting, then fuck yourself slowly with it.

Idia would never have the balls to be this bold with anybody. But this is the internet, so fuck it, he’ll be truthful and just say what he wanted.

You nodded and proceeded to grab one from the table of toys you had next to your desk, lubed it slightly, and did what he told you to. You moaned at the intrusion and the feeling of being filled. “Mmh, it feels so good..!” You cried out.

Ignia has donated $50!

Ignia @ 11:45pm: And by the way, call me Master. You don’t get to cum until I say so.

You shivered at this stranger’s boldness and quietly spoke, “Yes, master...” you looked away shyly from the camera and closed your eyes for a minute, thrusting the vibrating device in and out of your wetness. A couple of moans slipped through your mouth as you felt your juices spreading onto your legs.

Ignia @ 11:47pm: Faster. Fuck yourself faster for me, kitten, and put it on the medium setting for me.

You did as you were told, fingers trembling to follow what the stranger had told you. Your (h/c) hair was starting to feel moist from your layer of sweat and your body was heating up, causing your breasts to stick to the costume.

Ignia @ 11:49pm: Take your tits out and play with your nipples

You panted heavily and lowered your chest area’s covering, revealing the sheen of sweat around your tits. Flicking your left nipple while working the dildo with your right, your hands were occupied with pleasing yourself as this stranger commanded, moaning out. “Aah, m-master, f-feels so go-ood~!”

Idia was smirking, stroking hard at his cock at the sight and idea of you actually doing what he said almost made him cum then and there, but he stopped himself. He couldn’t help the rapid beating of his heart when you said the last sentence. Idia felt special. The power he had over you was addicting and he wanted to see you push yourself over the edge under his command.

65 viewers

User58273: Fuck this is so hot, I wish I could be your master too

Seeing this comment somehow made Idia seethe. He didn’t want to share you, even though this was his first stream with you. You made him feel special. He started typing out his draft of what to reply to the thirsty viewers.

Draft: Ignia: You stupid bastards, no, I’m not going to share her.

Before Idia could send the message you spoke up in a moaning voice. “*pant* N-no, my master tonight is I-Ignia, haanh~”. You were still playing with your nipples while fucking yourself well with the dildo, a light blush decorated your face and beads of sweat starting to form on the sides of your face and your body.

Idia’s jaw dropped. ‘Does she actually really want me?’ He was getting hot, too hot for his own comfort. Usually he wouldn’t last this long during his sessions but he really wanted to see you fall apart under his command. He paid for it, after all.

“Master~ I’m getting close, I- I wanna cum soon!” You whined, pleading (e/c) orbs staring into the camera with your mouth open from panting heavily.

“Cum already, don’t hold yourself back”

“Just keep going babygirl”

“Let yourself cum”

Once again, Idia scoffed in annoyance, but he noticed you never acknowledged any of the other commenters, waiting patiently for the words to come from him.

Ignia @ 11:55pm: put the toy at the highest setting, fuck yourself til you cum, then keep pumping it while you ride out your climax.

Upon seeing those words, your fingers work to put your toy at the highest setting inside your dripping cunt. You closed your eyes while you try to imagine the user who was giving out the commands, imagining them slapping your ass and fucking you until you could see stars. The feeling of both of your holes being filled was overwhelming now, and the hot feeling built up in your core faster than you realized. Idia could see it too, the heaving of your chest was picking up rapidly.

“M-,, ma- master.! I’m cumming!!!” You shrieked. Closing your eyes with your tongue unintentionally lolling out, you released a silent scream as soon as your orgasm hit. It felt like a knot inside of your body had come undone suddenly. Your orgasm had your pussy clenching around the toy that was still vibrating intensely inside of you, stimulating you longer and making you release high pitched screams.

Hearing your words before cumming had Idia teetering on the edge, but watching your facial expressions and your moans made him finish suddenly with a grunt, his pale cock spurting thick white cum all over his hand. Still, Idia kept stroking his length while you were riding out your high, overstimulating himself to match your actions on the stream.

You pulled out the toy weakly and turned it off, putting it down on a towel next to your desk.

Ignia has donated $5!

Ignia @ 11:59pm: Spread your pussy lips babygirl, I wanna see your tight hole.

User39748 @ 11:59pm: I agree with Ignia

cay-kun @ 12:00am: ah~ I also agree. Let’s see you spread it, hmm~? Oh, can you also do a lil ‘nya!’?

You checked the chat and blushed heavily, post-orgasm shyness now taking over your mind. You hesitantly shifted in the chair while spreading yourself open with your pointer and middle finger, showing off your glistening folds with your lightly abused hole. “Nya...” you held up your other hand to do the signature “catgirl” pose, playfully sticking your tongue out too.

Idia was cleaning himself off but he could feel himself twitch again, staring at your meek form. You were so gorgeous and he really wanted to see more of you, making sure to press the “Follow” button, so he wouldn’t miss another stream.

After a few seconds, you decide to end your show, feeling extremely tired and needing a shower from sweating so much. “Thank you so so much for joining me tonight! I hope you guys have a wonderful rest of your evening~ take care and I hope to see you all soon!”

Small tips ranging between $1-$10 started to flow in along with messages of “take care~” “see you soon!” “great show baby ;)”.

You clicked off and you sighed deeply. Looking at your earnings tonight, you made around $200. This was probably the most you’ve made in one single stream, and $155 of that was from Ignia, a new follower and the one who pretty much commanded your entire show tonight. It really turned you on to have someone do that for you and it was the first time a viewer made you do something that felt so lewd that made you cum so quickly.

You stood up from the chair, cleaned up your desk and toys, and headed for the bathroom. Taking off your makeup in the sink, you jumped into the shower to clean yourself up.

~~~~~

Idia tentatively bit his shirt sleeve, his blue locks framing his face. Something inside of him told him that he needed to talk to you more. He had already typed out a message to send along with his friend request. He was scared - scared of being rejected by someone as pretty as you, especially now that he had already felt so attached to you, or rather, what he’s seen from the stream tonight.

Yellow eyes closed tightly as he clicked to send the friend request to you.

~~~~~

Jumping out of the shower, you throw on a head and body towel and started to brush your teeth. Walking around the room you realized your laptop was still on, and there was a notification box front and center. Curious, you clicked on it.

“One new friend request and message”.

“Friend Request: Ignia

Message: Hey, this is the user from your stream earlier. I just wanted to say I really enjoyed your stream tonight. You seem nice too, so I’d like to get to know you more. If you’re interested just feel free to add me back, no pressure ofc.

Thx

Ignia”

You blinked a few times, pondering what you should do. You had gotten messages from guys before but they only said cheap compliments and asking for private shows. You were single so there wasn’t anybody holding you down and this guy didn’t seem to radiate any bad vibes. His dominant nature over chat really turned you on and you were curious about him, so you decided to accept his friend request and send a reply.

“From: y/n-kitty-cat

Hi there :) I decided to accept your message, cause why not? You shouldn’t be that creepy, right? ;P anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed my stream tonight <3 I hope you can come to future ones too!! I’d like to see you around more ;)

❤️

y/n”

You sent the message and went to the bathroom to finish brushing your teeth and your other nightly routines.

Idia couldn’t believe his eyes - you had actually messaged him back and you were really flirtatious!! That meant he was different in your eyes, right? It has to be true! He was determined to meet up with you, eventually. His dick throbbed at the idea of having you to himself, pleasing him with your mouth, doing all those lewd faces you made on the stream... his mind wandered while he pushed his pants down once again and thought of his muse who was now his “friend”.

~~~~~

After a few days of messaging back and forth, you and Ignia had ended up exchanging numbers and using text to communicate almost daily. You found out things like what your majors in college were, finding out his real name was Idia, which was a pretty unique name, and realizing you were both from the same city. Well, it’s not like Idia hadn’t already done his research - the night he became your friend he had stalked all of your social medias under a throwaway account and scrolled through every photo and bit of information he could find about you. He was becoming so hyper fixated on you he needed to know more, who could blame him? Idia just hoped he would be seeing more of you in your streams so he could watch you get off again, maybe with his assistance.

Unfortunately for you though, you realized you couldn’t stream as much because midterms were also kicking your ass. You apologized to your viewers with a blog post who luckily understood and wished you luck, saying they looked forward to your next show.

Idia couldn’t see your pretty face from the stream, which made him yearn. He told Ortho about his crush on you and when the small boy told Idia to “just tell you the truth and meet up with you!” he wanted to shut down completely. But, he wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of you being in his room, exactly where he wanted you. Sighing, he picked up his phone to send you a text.

Idia: “hey”

Y/n: “hey there! 😉”

Idia: “soo i was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime”

Y/n: “omg 😱 like irl? I’ve never even heard your voice before lol”

Idia: “ik, i’m a bit shy in person.”

Y/n: “i see, so is the life of a gamer and a shut in?😏😂”

Idia: “hah, yeah i guess lol”

Y/n: “soo, what did you wanna do?”

Idia: “idk, anything you want. Except go outside. And be in public.”

Y/n: “pfft, that takes away like any idea at this point HAHA”

Idia: “ya lol i prefer gaming in my room tbh”

Y/n: “oh, then maybe we can just hang out and play games or something like that?”

Idia: “Yeah, why don’t you come over to my dorm, we could game and eat snacks”

Y/n: “Sounds great! This Friday then, 6pm?”

Idia: “Sure i’ll text you the details later”

Y/n: “Awesome :) see you in a couple days then ;)”

Idia: “cool”

Idia threw himself on his bed and screamed silently into the pillow. Idia wanted more than to just be your friend but unfortunately was also extremely shy, especially when talking to new people in person. But as he was sexually attracted to you, he knew he would have a hard time hiding it from you. He had hoped to initiate some kind of sexual interaction when you met up, wanting to indulge in your sinful reactions himself. He didn’t even want to think about anybody else seeing you like that. Idia was growing possessive and realized that if he were to get you where he wanted you, he needed to do a little bit of digging. Which meant searching the web for something that would help make you more agreeable to something sexual. He knew he himself couldn’t make you agree to it, he was too nervous to initiate that! He knew what he needed - an aphrodisiac.

Composing himself, he got onto his computer and compared his options as well as looking for advice on how to please a woman. His eyes widened and lips trembled as he realized he was definitely way too shy to initiate as much as other men do, but he was determined to try anything if it meant your attention.

~~~~~

Today was finally Friday, and the current time was 5:30pm. You styled your (h/c) locks and put on a light amount of makeup, not as much as you would when you streamed but enough to make yourself feel pretty. You also decided that you still wanted to be cute, even if you and Idia were just friends at this point, and wore a tight crop top, a high waisted black skirt, and some thigh high socks since it was a bit breezy outside. You topped it all off with a (f/c) cardigan so you could at least feel comfortable in the sleeves. Packing your bag, you took one last look at yourself in the mirror, did a little peace sign and smiled, feeling cute as hell. You grabbed your keys and walked out of your dorm, heading towards Idia’s campus.

You parked at the place he told you to and gotten out of your car, looking around for him. Shit, you just realized you didn’t even ask him what he was gonna wear or what he really looked like, which was pretty dumb in hindsight. You did catch a glimpse of a tall lanky guy with fluffy blue hair and a striped t-shirt, who was fumbling around on his phone and didn’t realize you was standing right by him.

“Excuse me,” you interrupted his peace softly, causing him to jump up and squeal in fear. “Oh!! I’n so sorry, I’m just looking for someone and I didn’t know if I was in the right place?”

Idia froze. It really was you, in the flesh, looking at him and taking his appearance in. You were gorgeous, even more so than he would have ever thought, and your voice brought tingles to his spine that made him shudder. Idia realized he was being quiet for a longer than acceptable time and he looked away. “H-hi,, y/n...” he mumbled barely even audible.

“Oh!! Idia? Is that you? Hi!!!” You exclaimed, seemingly really excited. Your mouth was curved into a wide smile too.

“Huh, you sound really enthusiastic...” Idia whispered, thinking he really said it in his own mind instead of out loud.

“Of course I am! I’m finally done with midterms and now I can relax and have fun with my new friend!” You said, bumping your shoulder with him, causing him to hold his breath.

Idia gulped when he realized what you said. Friend. Right, that’s all he was to you. At least for now. But hopefully that would change soon, right?

“Y-yeah. Let’s go inside.” Idia muttered, turning his back and walking.

Based on his demeanor, you almost forgot that Idia was the one who was so dominant during your stream the other week, since his attitude was so shy in real life. But, you pushed that thought to the back of your head, today was gonna be a fun day with a new friend, and that was strictly it. You didn’t really want to make your side job as a sex worker into a big thing that would make real life friendships difficult.

~~~~~

After he led you through the halls of the dorm, he brought you to a door and opened it up. Inside it was a bit messy, but an organized mess, one where the owner definitely knew where everything was. He had a pc setup with multiple monitors, RGB lighting which was mostly set to shades of blue, and a really nice gaming chair to go along with it. He also had a shelf with different manga series along it and other consoles for gaming, a bed, a door that led to a bathroom, and a mini fridge. Pretty nice for someone who lived without a roommate, you thought.

You walked over to his bed and flopped down onto it. Idia couldn’t help but think about the many times he had masturbated to you on those sheets that you were now sitting on. He was wondering what kind of panties you were wearing too, when he was suddenly interrupted.

“So! I guess we should get started on some games, yeah? I think I wanna play a fighting one against you! I’m totally gonna win~” You smiled up at him playfully.

Idia let his personality slip when games were brought up. “Tch, you really think you’re gonna win against me ? Think again.” The blue haired boy smirked down at you, which lit up the fire of competition in your heart.

“Let’s go then, dude.”

~~~~~

After about 15 minutes of close battles but still losing every one, you groaned and put the controller down on the floor where you and Idia were positioned in front of a monitor. You had developed a small sheen of sweat on your face from the stress. “Hey Idia, do you have anything to drink? I’m so thirstyy~” You looked at him and pouted, hoping he would maybe have some soda or water for you.

“A-ah, yes I do...” he stuttered a bit, seemingly nervous about something. He shuffled over to a mini fridge near his desk and brought out a cooler bottle. “Here, I made this sweet tea yesterday and you can drink from it...” Idia handed you the cool bottle and you observed it suspiciously. He was starting to feel his breath hitch and wondered if you had caught on.

“Hm~? Drinking from the same bottle already? So intimate!” You teased him, lightly elbowing his side. “Well, here goes nothing.” You tipped the bottle into your mouth and the tea tasted like sweet peach, with a slightly bitter aftertaste.

“Hm, it’s... interesting. What kind of tea is it?” You inquired, looking at the contents and sniffing it.

“I-it’s a recipe I found online! It looked good so, I decided to make it, I- I thought you would like it...” he shyly put down his head, trying to hide his suspicious nervousness from you.

“Okay... well it’s pretty good! I’ll drink some more, thanks for thinking of me~” you said as you gulped down the drink for a few more seconds. “Mmh! I think that cooled me down, let’s play more rounds!”

Idia looked back at you and sighed in relief. “Y-yeah, let’s do that.” He didn’t know how long it would take to work but at least he could distract his nerves by playing some games.

~~~~~

You started to sweat and feel hot. Unbearably hot. You cleared your throat and pulled off your cardigan and folded it to the side, but it wasn’t enough. The heat spread from your head, to your torso, and to your lower regions. Feeling hot and a deep... itch that you couldn't quite reach, in your crotch, you decide to change the position in which you were sitting, from crossing your legs to having them right underneath you, to feel some sort of friction in that area. You could feel yourself blushing intensely while the blue haired man next to you was still immersed in the game you both were supposed to play.

Watching him, you couldn’t help but notice the way his fingers moved on the controller, his thumbs and pointers expertly moving across it. You started thinking about how they would feel playing with your nipples and clit - wait. ‘What am I even thinking about?! Snap out of it!’ But, you also couldn’t help but think about when you were close to beating him during a round, his voice changed to a lower, frustrated one, and he even let out a little growl. Even now you noticed the way his eyes were so glued to the monitor with a small scowl on his face. Thinking about that sent throbs and heat to your growing wetness.

WINNER: PLAYER 1!

“Fuhehe, I knew I could beat you again~ but for some reason it felt like you weren’t trying as hard this round.” Idia put down his controller, finally took a glance at you, and his breath was caught in his throat.

Your (s/c) body was covered with a layer of sweat, cheeks burning and your eyes looked glossy. You were also panting slightly, rubbing your legs together softly to try to create more friction. “A-ah,, hey... do you think you could lower the temperature in here? It- it’s getting really hot. Maybe I could have more of that cold tea?” You breathed, trying to sound more stable than you were.

Idia was dumbfounded for a second and totally forgot you had drank the tea that he mixed with the aphrodisiacs. He gulped as he leaned closer to your face, observing you. “Is... is there anything else I can help you, w-with?” Idia placed a hand on the floor near your thigh and watched as you tried to scoot away from it.

“D-don’t do that... it’s...,” you whimpered, back now touching the side of his bed as you leaned away from his touch. Since when did he smell so good? His scent radiating from his proximity sent tingles across your body.

“Do what?” Idia experimentally reached out to touch your arm, fingers grazing your back slightly. You couldn’t fight back the moan that slipped out of your mouth. “Haah~ I-Idia...” you breathed, looking at him with pleading eyes. You really weren’t planning on doing anything with your new friend, so why was your body disobeying your mind?

“Y/n... you know you can tell me if there’s a-anything you need.. I’ll help you.” Idia’s eyes were still wide and the way he looked at you made you start craving. You wanted him - no, you NEEDED him to touch you more. You never really thought about it, but, Idia really was attractive. It’s not because of your hazy mindset that you realized it, but the way the blue lights illuminated his pale skin and make his hair almost glow, you were just focusing on it more. He was... cute.

“I-...” you started, looking down at his hand on your arm, and then back at him. Staring at his lips, you felt your arms move around his neck as you pulled him closer. Your lips smashed against each others messily and you released a soft whimper against his mouth. The reality hitting you, you moved your head back suddenly breaking the kiss. Your body was still hot.

“F-first...” Idia was stuttering. “First... kiss...” Idia stared wide eyed at you, lips still trembling. He blushed and turned away, his brows tilted upwards as if he were troubled.

“Oh, oh god, I’m so sorry....” you breathed out, scared you had fucked it up with your friend.

“Haah.. more...” his eyes suddenly turned back to you, seemingly darker than before. “I want more of you, y/n...” with that, he brought his lips to yours again and moved them sloppily against your own. He even took the liberty to bite your bottom lip with his sharp teeth, causing you to yelp. Idia used this opportunity to shove his tongue past your mouth and moved it against your own, causing you to moan in pleasure while you could feel your panties starting to drench.

Idia pulled away from you, cheeks tinted pink. Both of you panted for breath, your clothes now feeling sticky due to sweat. He scanned your blushing figure and saw an opening of your skirt that had shown off your lacy panties. Idia gulped and dove his head towards your clothed pussy, breathing in the essence and shuddering loudly, which made you gasp.

“Idiia, no... we, we shouldn’t...” you whined. But you could feel your body was not agreeing with your words. When the tip of his nose grazed your clit you bucked your hips against his head, letting out a moan at the contact.

He lifted up your skirt to your waist so he could see your facial expressions. Suddenly, his wet tongue experimentally slid up your clothed pussy, piercing yellow eyes locked onto your glazed over eyes. You shrieked at the sensation and felt embarrassed that he could get you like this, and you were still wearing your panties.

“Hhn, you wore these for me, didn’t you..?” Idia said, which made you blush. “No, I- I didn’t...” you muttered weakly, trying to avoid his gaze

Idia’s grip on your thighs suddenly got tighter and he looked up at you with furrowed brows. “Don’t lie to me, kitten. I know you want me, like how you did on the night we met, on your stream.” Idia firmly told you. It seemed like it was more like he was convincing himself. "N-no Idia, I... I don't want to-" you started, until you were interrupted.

Idia’s teeth bit suddenly into your soft thigh, causing it to bleed a bit. You knew it would leave a big mark later. “AH!! F-fuck!!” You grabbed onto his blue hair and felt your pussy clench onto nothing. Why, why are you enjoying this? It was like Idia’s personality had changed, from the shy person you met outside his dorm to a more possessive and rough one. You were a bit scared of him but why was he making you feel so good?

You didn’t have time to think as you felt him move the fabric of your panties to the side so your drenched cunt was fully visible to him. He stared in awe and took in everything - the shape, size, and how wet you were. You brought the back of your hand up to your head and panted with embarrassment. “Idia... mmh...”, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Your body was still wanting more and after your mind was fighting the feeling so much, you decided to let it be. “Please...”

Idia met your eyes and saw how glossy they were. He lifted your body onto the bed so that you were now lying on your back while he was still in front of your crotch. You softly breathed in and out, causing your chest to rise and fall in your sweat soaked top. He snaked a pale hand under your shirt to grope your breast in your lacy bra, cold fingers sending shivers through your hot body. Idia couldn’t resist any longer, he suddenly shoved his wet muscle onto your pussy with fervor. You gasped and threw your head back onto Idia’s plush pillow, and shoved your hand on the back of his head pushing it deeper into your legs. Idia couldn’t contain himself and moaned into your heat, sending vibrations through it. “Oh- aaanh~ Idi-aaa~....” you sighed and whined. He took this opportunity to lower the cup of your bra below your breast and pinch your pert nipple in his fingers.

“Fuck~!” you screamed, feeling hot tears flowing down your face. Your body couldn’t take it much longer. Your core was building a familiar sensation but it was all too overwhelming and coming too fast. “It feels so good!!” You squealed, squeezing your thighs together so you were caging his head. Idia focused his energy lapping hungrily at your clit and then pushed two digits of his free hand through your wet hole, pumping them in and out. Your panting breaths were becoming shorter with each pump.

“Idia~ I’m close!! I’m gonna cum..!” You looked at him between your legs, and he lifted his mouth off of your cunt for a brief second. He stared into your eyes with his yellow ones, which stared at you intensely, licked his lips, and spoke.

“Cum for me then, kitten. Don’t hold back, cum all over my face.” With that, he dove back in and pumped his fingers into your core and flicked his tongue on your sensitive pearl even faster than before. Idia’s hips were rutting on his mattress, precum wetting his undergarments.

“Oh god - I’m cumming, I’m cumming~!!” You screeched and squeezed his head with your thighs, squirting his face and sheets with your cum. His tongue darted around your pussy licking off your juices. You breathed heavily, riding out your high. It took everything in him to stop himself from cumming right then and there - he wanted to save that for later.

Idia leaned up to where you were and kissed you passionately, and you could taste yourself all over his mouth. You moaned at the taste of your own juices on his tongue. Still exhausted from Idia eating you out, your body somehow craved the feeling of being filled. You sat up and got up from the bed and for a second he was afraid you were getting ready to leave. You removed your drenched shirt in front of him as well as your skirt, underwear, and bra. Still wearing your thigh high socks, he stopped you before you could remove them. “I, I want you to keep those on...” he licked his lips as he stared at your socks squeezing your plush thighs, the mark he made earlier with his teeth was visible and bruising now.

Following your lead, Idia was removing his own garments, tossing his shirt to the side. He was lean, not too skinny but not muscular either, pale all over. He also removed his pants and swung them over to the floor. Idia avoided your gaze as his erection was now very much so noticeable in his boxers, and you could even see a dark spot where his precum had made a mark. You felt your vagina tremble at the sight of it. It’s been a long time since you’ve had a partner and the anticipation was starting to get to you. As for Idia, well, everything was his first.

You knelt down in front of his bed and his legs and reached out to touch the head of his penis through the boxers, making him twitch and breathe out. “Mmh,...” you pulled down his underwear to reveal his lengthy cock. He wasn’t extremely girthy but he made up for that in length. The head of it was a shade of pale pink and dripped with clear liquid. You took some of the clear liquid in your hand and began teasing the head of his dick. Opening your mouth, you also gave it a few kitten licks while you pumped the base. Idia let out a few grunts and threw his head back, causing you to grow wet again.

Idia felt himself getting too close to orgasm which made him grab your head to stop you from going further. He lifted you up again and placed you on his lap, your dripping cunt hovering over his standing cock. Your body was hot again as you stared into Idia’s yellow eyes, a pink haze dusting his pale cheeks. Remembering he was a virgin, you looked at him hesitantly. ‘I- I don’t know, are you sure you want to lose your virginity right now?’ was what you were planning on saying, until he spoke up.

“Y/n... I need you. I’ve been wanting to do this to you for a while. I- I'm gonna put it in...” Idia whispered, panting slightly. As he was lowering your hips, you couldn't say anything as you felt his tip graze your wetness and you whimpered at the feeling. He kept bringing your hips down until you felt him all the way inside, head of his dick kissing your cervix. You threw your arms around his neck and moaned into his ear, causing a grunt from your partner. Not giving you time to adjust, Idia started thrusting in and out sloppily into your hole, squelching and moaning sounds filling the air of his usually quiet dorm.

“Oh Idia, please, pleasepleaseplease-!” You screamed, not even knowing what you were pleading for. Your (h/c) hair was sweaty and you felt your eye makeup starting to run with every tear you shed. Idia’s loud grunts filled your ear, causing your heat to build up.

“*pant* Mmh, y/n...” he paused and started thrusting into you slowly but hard, pulling you back so his forehead could touch with yours, blue hair still frayed in his face. “You have, *pant* no idea... I would masturbate to your pictures every. Single. Night. I jerked off on these sheets and used your photos of you smiling, you weren’t even *pant* n-naked... Does that, *pant* make me a sick pervert? No matter, you're here with me now, and I'm mmh, making you feel good, right?” Idia confessed, yellow eyes staring into yours with infatuation and obsession. You felt your breath hitch in a feeling familiar to fear. He was lovesick. Not the same person you thought you were messaging for the past few days or gaming with earlier. He looked deranged.

“I... Aaanh~!” You were cut off by a particularly hard thrust into your cervix. Idia licked your neck while thrusting into your abused hole. “I’m gonna breed you, kitten. W-wanna see you drip with my cum.. mmh, you want that?”

You were so close to your release that you didn’t even care about what he was saying. “More Idia, more!!” You breathed. Closing your eyes and now using your own hips to grind into his cock.

Remembering a particular position that grabbed Idia’s attention, he lifted you up, dick still hard inside of you. He placed your back on the bed, your head on his pillow while he brought your legs up to your chest. Idia continued to thrust into you, your face now in full view. He held your wrists in one hand above your head so you couldn’t hide your face from his eyes.

“Idia...” you breathed out. “I- Idia!!!!” You felt your orgasm approaching fast while he pounded into you relentlessly. “Haaanh~ I’m close!!” You moaned shamelessly.

“Hnnh, that’s r-right, y/n... mm, cum for me...” Idia breathed out in between his panting. With that, Idia thrusted faster until the knot that was building in your lower regions finally released. “Aaanh~!! I’m cumming, Idia, c-cumming all over your cock!!” Your face contorted into one of full bliss, eyes looking straight into his with your mouth in an o-shape. The walls around Idia’s length clenched tightly, milking him of his seed. Idia came suddenly with a groan, pumping it deep within you while riding out his high. "Fuck, y/n!!"

Idia rolled you both to your sides, his dick softening inside you. You both panted hard as you faced one another. You opened your eyes to find him with his eyes closed, blushing at the sight of your naked bodies still intertwined even after your climaxes. “We, we actually did it...” he whispered and opened his eyes. “!!!!” He made a mildly surprised noise, eyes widening and turning away.

“Eeh?! What’s wrong!?” You said, wondering if something was on your face. “N-nothing it’s just.... I’m surprised we... you.. you’re staring at me... I’m sorry, I’m still not used to people doing that...” Idia said shamefully, darting his yellow eyes to and from you periodically.

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Eek!! Why,, are you laughing at me?” Idia frowned and hid his face in the pillow. “Well.. your personality is different when you’re having sex versus not. It's interesting.” you told him, tracing a finger along his arm.

Idia blushed intensely, throwing his arms around your neck and hid his pale face in your neck. "Mmph..! I-, I like you, y/n..." he breathed into your neck. "I wouldn't be able to handle you doing this with another person so... will you be mine?" Idia pulled back to watch your face as you contemplated.

Idia's words from earlier suddenly flooded your memories. He looked insane when he confessed to his perverted actions and it evoked an uncertain emotion akin to fear. Your body felt paralyzed. But in the moment, with Idia's lightly pink tinged skin and unsure eyes, you had to admit it made your heart flutter, too. "Yes, Idia..."

[angryschnauzer]

Just What I Need

Summary; Working in a coffee shop you meet all sorts of people, but one customer in particular is always friendly, a local Detective from the nearby precinct. When one night he orders through a delivery service rather than in store, you get more than a tip when you make the delivery.

Fandom; Nomis (Night Hunter) Movie, Henry Cavill

Pairing: Detective Walter Marshall x Female Reader (no race or size specified)

Trope: Coffee Shop Meet Cute

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Flirting, Masturbation (male), Oral Sex (female recieving), unprotected sex, Vaginal Sex, Snowstorms.

I do not operate a tag list but instead please pop over and follow @angryschnauzerwrites​ and put that blog onto notifications, then you’ll get an alert every time i post a new story. My Masterlist got too long and tumblr ate it, so all my past stories can also be found on my AO3, link HERE

A/N: I am considering expanding this story, depending if people like it and want me to? Let me know! <3

Just What I Need

 Running the steam through the coffee machine you wiped the nozzle and smiled, there were just fifteen minutes until closing and the coffee shop you worked at was all but abandoned. Just your manager in the back counting the cash takings, and you were getting ready to box up the remaining muffins and cookies for the homeless shelter volunteer to collect dead on closing time.

 You didn’t mind working the late shift, in fact you preferred it over the early shift opening up at 7am. The 7am crowd were grumpy, rude and always in a rush. The 7pm customers were tired, quiet, and always thankful for whatever caffeinated delights you provided them with.

 The bell over the door rang as it opened and you looked up over the cups that were stacked on top of the machine, smiling at you saw the weary familiar face coming towards you;

 “Good Evening Detective” you smiled as the beast of a man stood at the counter. His face softened as he saw you, his shoulders dropping a little as he relaxed.

 “Hey… Sorry I’m in so late… you’re still open, right?”

 You glanced at the clock;

 “Another ten minutes. What can i get you?”

 You watched as he cast his gaze up to the handwritten chalkboard menu’s above the counter;

 “You got any Chilli left?”

 “Sure, a couple of pots in the fridge. Want me to warm it up?”

 He paused for a moment, as if trying to process the most technical question through his tired mind;

 “No… yes… urghhh…” he took a deep breath; “Yeah… if you wouldn’t mind. I’m so fuckin’ tired i think I’d burn my apartment down if i tried to use the stove”

 “Sure thing” you said with a smile as you got to work.

 You made small talk as you prepared his order, pulling out the sides and condiments that came with the Chilli meal;

 “Hey, you want a free muffin?”

 “I’m not really into sweet things this late at night… what flavours you got?”

“How about an Apple Cinnamon? It’ll last overnight and still be fresh enough for breakfast”

 The Detective smiled and nodded, pulling his wallet out as you finished bagging his order and rang it through for him, paying before you handed the bag to him;

 “Have a good evening Detective”

 As he turned he smiled at you;

 “Call me Walter”

 -

 Three days later and you were on the late shift again. Again it was quiet, just the soft sound of tyres driving through slushy snow outside the only noise since around 6pm as just a couple of customers nursed steaming mugs of coffee from their window seats. You saw the big silver truck pull up in the space outside the coffeeshop and smiled, there was only one customer that drove a truck that huge and if you were being honest with yourself you were developing quite a crush on the curly haired Detective.

 The moment he walked through the door you were smiling at him;

 “Detective” you greeted him happily

 “Didn’t i say to call me Walter last time i was here?”

 “I like Detective, has a nice authority ring to it” you said with a wink; “What can i get you tonight?”

 He paused for a moment, and as you reached for a notepad to jot down his order you missed the slight eyebrow raise and smirk at what you’d said before he cleared his throat;

 “What have you got that i can eat in my office without facing the wrath of my Lieutenant for making the department stink?” he said with a grin as he leaned on the counter.

 “I got Mozzarella and Pesto Subs? Tuna Melt?”

 “Tuna is a no. The case isn’t going well, no fish. Gimme two Mozzarella Subs, and the largest black coffee you do”

 “Sure thing. I’ll put a fresh pot on and get those sub’s on the press”

 As you started to prepare his order his phone rang, and you couldn’t help but to listen in;

 “... i’ll be like five minutes, i ain’t eaten all day… yeah ok… i’ll grab a box…”

 He hung up and nodded to the cakes;

 “Can i get a dozen muffins to go too? Got some grunts that are jealous that i got to escape the paperwork…”

 “Sure thing”

 Loading a box you picked what you knew were the best flavours and the freshest bakes;

 “You know, we’re on Uber Eats. As much as its nice to see a friendly face, we can deliver to the Precinct”

 “I… I have no idea what that is…”

 “Its a food delivery app. Here, give me your phone…”

 He unlocked it and set it down and rested his elbows on the counter as he watched;

 “You go to the app store and just download it. Put in your location and it’ll bring up nearby eateries and you can search for us. It has all the standard menu on. Save your card details or link it to paypal, and its super easy, it even keeps you updated when the order is being prepared or its out for delivery”

 He smiled as you pushed the phone back to him, locking the screen and pushing it back into his tight jeans;

 “That’s all well and good, but then i wouldn’t get a chance to see my favourite coffee shop girl now, would i?”

 You leaned forward and grinned, keeping your voice low;

 “Order between 6.45 and 7pm and i snag the deliveries and do them on my way home”

 -

 Walter pushed the key into the lock, opening the door to his apartment and groaning as his body ached from tiredness. He should be elated, they caught the killer, the evidence was logged and couldn’t be disputed… and yet he was tired to his core. He’d been at his desk for longer than he’d been home, and when the Lieutenant had finally ordered him to go him a little after 5pm, it had still taken him the better part of an hour to finish up and leave the building. 

 Shutting the door behind him he felt his stomach rumble. He didn’t even need to look in the fridge to know it was completely empty, devoid of anything even vaguely edible. Checking his phone he saw that it was a little after 6.30pm and a thought fired across his mind, a smile forming. Fifteen minutes later he’d added far more to his online basket than he ever would have done in store, but for the first time he was able to see exactly what the creations were whereas in the store it was just a big pile of weird looking cakes and bakes. By 6.50pm he’d entered his card details and completed the order, the little update screen stating delivery would be by 7.30pm, just enough time to grab a shower, after all if it was you that would deliver, he should probably shower for the first time in 72 hours having rushed out of the apartment three mornings in a row due to new leads in the case.

 The shower was far too enjoyable to rush, and after he’d washed his hair he started on his body, soaping over his chest and stomach before he paid extra attention to his dick. The anticipation of just the possibility of seeing you had him hard in seconds, and resting his head back against the tiled wall he quickly worked his hand over himself. He got lost in the moment, his mind taking him to places it shouldn’t, imagining his hand was yours, thinking about that time he saw you wearing over the over the knee knit socks and a skirt, how your ass was the perfect roundness, how your lips would look stretched around his dick… he came with a groan, thick white ropes falling to the shower floor as every ounce of stress left his body, his body shuddering when he was finally spent.

 He was halfway through drying himself when he heard a knock at the door to his apartment, he eyes going wide when he saw it was 7.20pm;

 “Fuck!”

 He’d gotten carried away in the shower, and now he had to quickly rush to wrap a towel around his waist as a second knock came just as he reached the door, taking a deep breath before opening it and seeing you standing on the doorstep shivering in your padded coat, holding two takeout bags;

 “Hey! Come in, come in, Jeez its freezing out there…”

 Stepping into the apartment you couldn’t help but to look him up and down, attempting to hide your reaction as you could clearly see the distinct outline of something rather large bulging against the fabric of the fluffy white towel;

 “Hey D-d-detective… Y-y-yeah it’s d-d-dropping fast out t-t-there… radio s-s-said it was g-g-gonna be a wind chill of minus t-t-twenty nine by eight o’clock… what a n-n-night to have my b-b-bike, huh?” You carefully dropped the two bags onto his coffee table as you spoke.

 “You cycled here? On that pedal bike that is always chained up outside the coffee shop?” he asked incredulously, immediately forgetting his current state of undress. Shutting the door he immediately wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to his chest; “You’re gonna stay here until you’re warmed up, i’m gonna make you a hot coffee and to warm you up from the inside too...”

 “I ain’t gonna complain to that” you mumbled, your face pressed to his chest as you suddenly melted against him, warming your cheek against his firm muscles before turning your head to warm the other one and he let out a little gasp as your cold hands pressed against his sides.

 “I also said for you to call me Walter…” he said quietly.

 Pulling your head back you smiled at him;

 “Thank you, Walter. You’re the best… though you’re the first delivery i’ve made where i’ve been greeted by someone in just a towel”

 “Sorry, let me go put some clothes on…”

 You tighten your grip around his waist;

 “I wasn’t complaining…”

 There was no poignant pause, no longing gazes, his lips met with yours and the kiss was fierce and hungry. He was pushing your coat down your arms and you reluctantly released your hold from his waist to let it drop to the floor, your sweater following soon after. Your lips met again and he was lifting you, wrapping your legs around his waist as his hand rested on your ass beneath your skirt as he walked you through the apartment before dropping you on his bed.

 He was pulling your boots off your feet as you scrambled up the bed, your hands reaching for your thigh high socks when he suddenly caught your hands in his;

 “Leave those on…”

 You paused and grinned, before his lips met yours again and he was on top of you, his hands sliding up your skirt and bunching it around your waist as he pressed a trail of open mouthed kisses down the valley of your breasts and over your stomach, before briefly lifting his head enough to pull your panties down your legs and toss them aside.

 As he lowered his mouth to your core his gaze was intense, vivid blue shining through the dim light of his bedroom, his tongue pushing through your soaked petals and parting them as his beard brushed against your skin, heightening all of the sensations. Wrapping his arms around your thighs he pulled you closer to his mouth, his tongue pushing into you and he started to fuck you with it whilst his bearded face tickled your clit. You were squealing and struggling to stay still, needing to anchor yourself on something as your hips bucked and your orgasm started to rapidly approach, your hands finding their way to his still wet hair and your fingers wrapping around the dark curls as he pressed a hand to your stomach to keep you still, growling at your taste on his tongue as he felt you shake as your orgasm took over.

 When your body had finally stopped shaking Walter pressed a chaste kiss to the inside of each of your thighs before he sat back on his haunches, licking his lips where he could still taste you on them. Pushing yourself up onto your elbows you grinned at him, your gaze travelling down his thick chest to his stomach, and the trail of hair that led beneath the towel;

 “You gonna show me what you’ve got under that towel, Detective?”

 “You ready for what i’ve got under this towel darlin’?”

 Pushing yourself up to sitting, your legs spread and bent either side of him, you hooked a finger into the towel and tugged, your eyes going wide when you saw his thick meaty cock standing hard and proud between his muscled thighs. Wrapping your hands around it you relished the feel of his silky skin as it moved over the hardness beneath, your mouth against his;

 “I need you inside me”

 “I… Fuck… this wasn’t planned… i haven’t got any protection…”

 “I’m on birth control, I want to feel you bare…”

 With a growl he surged forwards, capturing your lips with his own before he pushed you down onto the bed. Holding himself up on one hand he hooked your leg up over his hip, opening you like a winter blossom as he rubbed his dick through your soaked folds, dousing himself with your slick wetness. You whined at the teasing, the way his tip would brush against your hole only to move up to your clit;

 “Walter, please… you promised to warm me up from the inside…”

 He paused, a smirk on his face;

 “You want me to get you a coffee? ‘Cos i can stop…”

 “NO, i need your diiiiiiiiii….FUCK!” He’d pushed into you as you were mid sentence, the feeling of his meaty girth splitting your walls wide open overwhelming you and your eyes rolled back in their sockets; “OH MY GOD!”

 “You like that Darlin? You feeling warmer now?”

 “Please… please fuck me…”

 He grinned and shifted his hips, grinding into you;

 “Well, as you said please…”

 You had been expecting him to pound you into the mattress, you had not been expecting for his technique to start off with sensual rolls of his hips, filling you tenderly and carefully whilst you got used to his size. It was almost overwhelming, completely surrounded as he caged you in with his massive arms, his chest pressed against your own as his hips worked utter magic. He pulled his legs wide apart, shifting to rest on your open hips and he got even deeper. Pressing kisses to your lips and neck he soon had you moaning and begging for release, every push and pull hitting just the right spots and you were almost embarrassingly wet from the arousal but it only added to the sensations.

 You could feel yourself coming, the pleasure too much to hold back, and with a long low moan your body betrayed you and succumbed to the orgasm that had been building in the pit of your belly. Walter kept up the same speed of his thrusts but pushed a little harder, a little deeper with each one;

 “Can feel you fluttering around me, you gonna cum for me? You look so fucking beautiful all fucked out and wanting, feel so fucking amazing…”

 Just as your orgasm was at its peak he tensed and you could feel his cum flooding into you, the twitching of his dick as he filled you with his seed prolonging your high. When you had both finally finished you could feel his weight start to get heavier on top of you, before with a sudden and surprising act of nimble dexterity he rolled the pair of you over so you were laying atop of him, his softening dick slipping out and you felt the trickle of his seed flow out of you. With one massive hand he pulled the duvet across your bodies, and you snuggled up to his chest;

 “That was the best tip ever” you giggled; “In fact definitely more than the tip”

 At that moment you not only heard but felt his stomach growl, looking up and seeing him grin sheepishly as he spoke;

 “I just want you to know this is not how i usually treat food deliveries… do you want something to eat? Or drink?”

 Nodding you smiled;

 “That'd be nice”

 -

 A while later you were cleaned up, Walter having given you one of his massive t-shirts to wear which came to the tops of your thighs. He’d grazed through half the contents of his order as you nibbled on a muffin, having eaten at the coffee shop during a very quiet last hour of your shift. You’d laughed and chatted as the pair of you had eaten on the comfort of Walters couch, before you’d suddenly stopped mid sentence;

 “Shit, i left my bike in the lobby… will it be safe there until i go home?”

 Walter smiled at you, his hand curling around your thigh;

 “Have you heard that weather out there? I’d be surprised if you could even ride it home through three foot of snow…” he paused for a moment; “Stay the night…”

 You went to object, decline politely but you caught yourself, why? Why shouldn’t you spend the night? Taking a deep breath you smiled;

 “I’d love to”

_____________________________________________

Part 2 >>>

[amidianjs]

FOR THE FIRST TIME

Title : For The First Time

Summary : For a while, she was the only friend she ever needed. For a while, she was her own protector. But after she met him, the one who loves her more than she loves herself, her world began to change.

Genre : One Shot (Drabble) , Friends to Lovers (f2l) , jungkook, angst

Pairing : Jungkook x Reader (OC : Ji Eun)

Warning : mentioned suicide, death of minor character, depression, mental health

a/n: this is my first story in tumblr and English is not my first language. so please understand the grammar error you’ll find in this story.

-

For a while, she was the only friend she ever needed. For a while, she was her own protector.

But after she met him, the one who loves her more than she loves herself, her world began to change.

For the first time after that incident, she was afraid. She was doubtful of herself.

From “We can only be friends, Gguk” to “You are my best friend in this crazy world. Love ya”

The amount of changes in her life made her anxious again.

She always sees herself as someone who is independent enough to be alone. Alone but not lonely.

But after meeting him, her priorities began to change, and even her life schedule.

Before, after going back home from work, she’ll make time to paint. To heal. To maintain her mental health.

But now, even though she’s still painting to heal, but she’s painting with him.

Her routine became brighter and brighter everyday.

And now she’s afraid. Afraid that this is not gonna last if she acknowledge her feelings.

And now she’s terrified, terrified of his feelings for her.

“You know I love you right?” he asked

‘Yes of course, you are my best friend, of course we love each other to the death” she denied.

“No. I love you. I love you not as my best friend. I love you as someone who I want to spend my life with. I love you as my life partner.”

“Well we ARE partner in crime right?” She joked

“Do I look like I’m joking Ji Eun-ah?”

“Please don’t do this to us. To me. Please Gguk. I love what we have. This is my home. You are my home. Please can you let this to be the way it is? I can’t lose anyone anymore. Not after that.”

“Hey, you’re not gonna lose me you know. Even if this is one sided, I’m still your best friend. We’re best friend for life. And if that’s the best for you, I’m okay with that as long you’re happy”

“I love you so much Gguk. Thank you for understanding”

After the confession, their friendship drifted apart. She knows, and also he knows. They’re hurting each other. And she knows that this happened because of her worries.

And now, it has been weeks from the last time they saw each other.

She’s broken to the core.

She felt guilty

She felt she’s not worth it anymore.

She hate herself for doing this to herself, to him

She thought, maybe if I sleep forever, I’ll never feel this way anymore.

Then, she started planning. To leave everything.

She went to all the place she loved. One of them was their secret hideout. She placed a letter to say goodbye to their beautiful memories.

She went to visit her family’s grave and also leave a single sunflower, her favorite.

And after that she went to his house. He looked like a zombie, maybe because of the lack of sleep.

She knew the reasons.

And after that she hugged him. “Long time no see”

He hugged her so hard because he miss her so much.

“You are a bad friend Gguk” She choked.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just need some time away from you.”

“Can we just eat pizza together tonight, like old times?”

He saw her eyes, and at that moment he’s afraid. He knew that she was hiding something. Something so painful and also she looked like she was already gave up.

“Okay. Like old times”

They hang out for a while, she laugh so hard for the first time after a while. And at the end of the day, when she was already getting ready to “go home”, he hold her from behind

“I don’t know what are you thinking or planning of doing right now. But can you just stay with me tonight?”

“You knew right?”

“I don’t want to believe that.”

“I already decided Gguk”

“NO! I’m sorry please just stay with me. Tonight, I beg you. Please. Tomorrow you can do whatever you want. Just please let me hold you tonight.” He cried.

“Okay. Just for tonight. Do you have some coffee? I think I need some to be awake hanging out with you.”

“No. can you just sleep with me? I wan to sleep beside you”

“Okay Gguk. Whatever you want.” She smiled.

They hold each other all night long. And none of them were asleep.

When the sun started to come up. Gguk’s hold of her became tighter.

“I know you’re awake. And I just want to tell you that I love you no matter what.”

“You can’t change my mine Gguk.”

“I know… I-I just have to try. You are the love of my life. And I-“

“Please stop Gguk.”

“This is the last time I can hold you right? Please just let me have my moment.” He begged

He told her he loves her, and every reason why she deserved to be loved, to live.

“I will never stop telling you all of that everyday until you forgive yourself and start love yourself like I love you.”

-----

After hours holding each other till the night came again. She fell asleep with him. When she woke up, she smelled her favorite corn soup from the kitchen.

“Hey you lazy ass, come eat. You slept like a log.”

That moment her plan failed. Suddenly all she want is to heal. To be better, for him.

“I have to go home Gguk.”

“Okay, I’ll drive you home.”

“No. please let me be with myself for a while.”

He started crying again. He’s sobbing like a mad man.

She couldn’t help it anymore. She ran to him and hug him. And whisper “I’ll call you later okay. We’ll talk tomorrow morning”

“Promise me?” He asked her to pinky promise him. It was their thing.

“Pinky promise, Gguk.”

“Can you eat with me first?” he begged again

“No. I have to do this thing first.”

------

For the first time after a while, she went to her aunt’s house.

She apologized to her aunt because she was the only the only survivor of that accident and also one of the factor the accident happen.

Her aunt only hugged her and cried “you don’t have to apologized baby. You’ve been through so much for so long. Let us help you please?”

“Please help me.” She cried to her aunt. For the first time after a while, she didn’t feel guilty anymore about her family’s misfortune.

----

She walked all the way home to clear her mind. She tried to enjoy the night, the coldness in the air, to feel her own breathing.

While she arrived at home, she saw Gguk sitting in front of her door, sobbing.

“Hey stranger”

“Ji Eun-ah. Where have you been?”

“I was just about to call you Gguk.”

“I- I thought… nevermind.”

“I’m sorry Gguk. You’re crying because of me. You’re hurting because of me.”

“No please, don’t be sorry. I just glad that you’re home safe. Okay. I’ll go home now. Don’t forget to lock the door okay”

“Gguk…”

“Yes?’ and suddenly she ran to him and kiss him hard.

They tasted their own tears. They were crying for each other. After pulling from the kiss, she confessed “I was about to end my life yesterday. But because of you, I saw that I still have future here. Thank you. And I love you. Not as friend. But as the one that will always be my person.”

“Ji Eun-ah”

“Can you help me? Like you don’t have to do anything, just be with me while I’m going through this?”

“I’ll be with you till you’re sick of me idiot. Like we always said we are partner in crime. We can do this.”

----

“Thanks Gguk.”

“No. thank you for staying. And thank you for letting me help you.”

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Listen To Millie When She Says: Don’t Fat-Shame Moxxie 

-------

Credit for Helluva Boss

goes to Vivienne “Vivziepop” Medrano & Spindlehorse

----------------

I had drew this on July 3, 2021 and even posted yesterday over at the other place I post my fan art stuff.

(so the time I posted on Tumblr was on the next day,

it being around July 4, 2021.)

this drawing has both the a Fan Headcanon theory and a type of message to never to fat shame someone.

even though I was overweight before, and I had lost a lot of it during the first depression I had because of some stuff that was going on at home.....which I think was around 2015.

I think my Mom might of been concerned about how I became overweight at some point before those events,

but I know that she would never fat shame me.

if someone loves you and worries for your health, they are the people that would never fat shame ya.

well them and others.

I do know the dangers of being dangerously overweight and what it can lead to, most likely going to the hospital.

but those who are in the normal shape and not overweight

they shouldn’t be fat shamed.  

you shouldn’t fat shame someone who is pregnant either.

I know that in Helluva Boss, Loona kind of teases Moxxie

that has to do with him being “fat” but she might not mean it in the same way as others who have did the whole fat shaming.

if I had to theorize, I say she checks out his butt when no one is looking and hides it through teasing and picking on Moxxie.

I don’t know, but maybe we will find out why she seems to like teasing Moxxie in the future.

but anyway this drawing also shows a Fan Headcanon Theory,

that has to do with it being the Male Imps that has the baby.

which was inspired by The Fairly Odd Parents

and the whole Male Seahorses being the ones who give birth

instead of the Female Seahorses.

Millie in this drawing, is defending her Husband Moxxie

who is going to be a Father-To-Be.

you can picture it being Keenie is the one she is telling off.

I like to think the one she is telling off is Keenie.

in theory, the Female Imp’s Egg will go from them to the Male Imp and the Male Imp will become pregnant.

same bio-sex Imp couples as well as Imps who are transgendered,

will find ways to still have a baby, by ways of a surrogate or donor.

I’m not 100% sure if this will be canon in the show,

but it is just a headcanon theory that pop into my head.

even if Millie’s Cousin and Honorary Nespring might not be canon.

they were still needed for this drawing.

Millie’s Nespring, is still technically her Cousin too,

being the child of her Cousin.

she is her Cousin’s child’s Honorary Aunt,

and her Nespring is Nonbinary, so they don’t go by Niece or Nephew.

the [Redacted] hides what bio-sex they were born into.   

I hope I can watch Panty & Stocking With Garterbelt tonight,

I wanted to watch it last night

but I became a bit tired and ended up going to bed. 

I do want to watch my two Goofy Movies,

the first one where Max’s Love interest Roxanne appears in.

the the second one where Goofy’s new love interest Sylvia appears in.

it be nice if there was a third Goofy Movie of that series,

that has Max getting married and in the fourth him becoming a Dad,

and making Goofy a Grandfather.

before I do watch those movies,

I want to watch some other stuff before that.

ya know in the Christmas Special Movie,

they didn’t really need to change Max’s Love interest.

though the new love interest Mona

does still seem like a nice girl and not bad at all.

  but if the reason why Roxanne wasn’t in it was because of her hair,

they could of had her have a haircut and make her hair shorter if that was the case.

in the Ducktales Reboot,

it was nice that Max and Roxanne appeared together.

anyway after I do post this I’m gonna go watch Ben 10 Omniverse,

then later watch Star Vs The Forces of Evil.

but before I do log off, I will check some stuff on here first.

I also want to point out, that just because a show or game

has a character in it that is jerk and acts like a total bigot or someone who fat shames someone,

doesn’t mean those who created character for the show or game or comic series, truly feels that way.

so they shouldn’t be attacked for something they show that reflects how most humans treat each other.

I also want to say that even though I know there is good people on Twitter, I have decided to not join Twitter because of certain reasons.

I can check out stuff from there but I can’t do much.

and the whole there still being good people on Twitter,

ain’t gonna change my mind about not wanting to join Twitter.

maybe one day I can join Twitter, but not in this present time.

             anyway this drawing shows a Anti-Fat Shaming Response

and also shows the Fan Headcanon Theory about how it is the Male Imps that have the babies instead of the Female Imps.

it might not end up being canon, and might end up being just fanon.

but I’m fine with that, this is still a interesting theory.

[ask-de-writer]

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : Part 16 of 83 : World of Sea

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to World of Sea

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

Part 16 of 83

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

copyright 2020

written 2007

All rights reserved.

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users   of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may   reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information   remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in   my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical   compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

New to the story?  Read from the beginning.  PART 1 is here

///////////////////////

A few days later, Barad laid aside the three ephemerids that Kurti had used to calculate their position.  She sketched their position lightly on the chart.  Barad marked boldly over her mark.  Kurti had done the entire sighting and calculation on her own, with Barad watching closely, and taking his own observations separately.

“That was excellent, Kurti.  I need you to prepare for an entertainment this evening.”

She listened in dread as he explained what he wanted of her.

I must have failed at something. Why else would he do this to me? “Sir,” she asked in a small voice, “I had thought that I was pleasing you.  What did I do wrong?”

He looked at her in genuine puzzlement.  “You have pleased me, Kurti. Nobody has ever pleased me as much.  This is not a punishment.  It is a matter of fairness.  Morgu won a night with Chena fair and square. She died before he could claim his prize.

“I am only giving Morgu and Selked a fair chance at the prize again. You can also be of help to me in two other ways.”  At once, she perked up and listened closely.  “By doing this, I am tying two of my best men tighter to me.  Besides, you can listen to what they have to say for clues to their true feelings and anything else that they may mention that I can profit from.”

“I think that I see.  I was afraid that you were punishing me, I admit. So, this isn’t about anything that I’ve done, is it?”

“No, Kurti, it isn’t.  If I ever seek to punish you, I will be direct and you will know what you are being punished for.  That is my way.”

“So, by doing this, if one of them wins me, I will be serving you.”

“True, now fix up this cabin and get yourself ready for dinner.  You will dine at the officer’s table with me tonight.”

Surprise must have shown on her face because he laughed out loud.  “You should see yourself!  I kept the other cabin girls locked up because it was necessary.  They would have talked without thinking and betrayed my secrets.  Even when there was nowhere to go, they kept trying to escape.  You are so different from them that you deserve better treatment.  Besides, there are a few officers who are getting too full of their place on this ship.  You will be the perfect foil for that as well.”

Now it was her turn to laugh.  “First Officer Timms is probably the only one that won’t be furious at you.  Shall I dress demure or risque?”

“I hadn’t thought of that!”  Barad had the delighted grin of a small boy getting away with a goodie that was not his.  “Let’s not push them too far at once.  Dress just a little on the risque side of good taste.  I leave it to you.”

Dinner aboard the Grandalor was rarely a cause for interest or any but the most vicious of gossip.  Tonight, some had noticed that an extra place had been set at the officer’s table.

“What’s that about?  Any idea?”

“Not even.  I asked the mess-boys about it and they don’t have any clue. Just say it’s Capt’n’s orders.”

“Gonna set up some new officer maybe?”

“Here he comes!  Maybe now we’ll know …”

Captain Barad strode imperiously into the dingily lit mess.  Nobody had seated themselves yet, not being so foolish.

The Captain’s imposingly solid bulk was dressed as though for a formal occasion.  He was wearing snug dark trousers tucked into flared topped ankle boots of dark dyed, pebble-scaled Wing Ray.  A white sash-belt set off and complemented a loose shirt of brown satin with moving black highlights.  He stepped aside from the entryway and Kurti stepped into the room beside him, casually taking his arm.

She was dressed in a snugly fitting blouse of the same satin as Barad’s shirt, also throwing dark highlights.  A narrow belt of white, matching Barad’s, contrasted with her snug dark pants and dark slippers of polished, glittering, small scaled Lesser Dragon hide. They made a striking couple and both knew it.

With inner amusement but a straight face, Captain Barad thought, there’s two officers — — four men and — — five women of the crew that have made an obvious effort to dress up.  Setting an example does appear to be working.  Look at them all stare!  I think that they’re in shock, I really do!  He led Kurti to the chair next to his on the left, pulled it out and seated her as though she were a lady of consequence.  He seated himself, and the rest of the crew finally sat on their benches.

The officers looked on in barely concealed anger and confusion at the cabin-girl who was usurping a place at their privileged table.  Kurti smiled back at them like a Wolf Eel seeing lunch swimming by.  The rest of the crew looked on with varying degrees of amusement and puzzlement.  

Kurti was one of their own but they had written her off.  A cabin-girl was as good as dead.  Everyone knew that.  Barad’s cabin-girls had never lasted long, once chosen.  None were ever seen again before this.  Now there she was at the officer’s table, on the Captain’s left hand, a place of high favor.  What was going on?

Gossip began to rage like a fire in the rigging.  It was well known among the crew that Barad was always quick to criticize poor work, nearly as quick to say a good word for work done well, and to ignore almost entirely work that was merely adequate.  The principal guess was that Kurti was doing — whatever her work was — extremely well.

Dinner itself was unremarkable.  Just the usual fish-cakes, seaweed salad and water.  Kurti smiled inside as she watched it being served by a confused Jaret.  He was a galley worker that she knew.  They had never gotten along.  When the meal was done, she left on the Captain’s arm.

They stopped by the sick-bay to see if Tanlin was any better.  An empty bunk greeted them.  Doctor Corin apologetically proffered a tallow-slate.

“I am sorry, Sir.  She slipped away last night.  I have prepared her particulars and other papers for the Log.  When you have done, I will sign the papers and entries.”

The Captain wrinkled his brow in thought and looked about the small sick-bay, at the eight curtained bunks, arrayed in a row of four, two deep, the Doctor’s desk with it’s tall apothecary cabinet and the examination / operating table, centered in the only clear space in the room.

“Thank you, Doctor Corin,” said Barad quietly.  He took the tallow-slate.

Kurti looked sadly at the bunk where the cousin that she had never got the chance to meet had lingered four and a half Wohans.  She spoke softly, “We appreciate all that you have done, Doctor Corin.  We visited her early last night.  When did she die?”

“I found her gone at the second drum of the third night watch,” he answered her.  Turning to the Captain he added, “I put her body in the corpse locker until you should order her funeral or embalming for transport back to her fleet.”

“Who knows of her death?” asked Barad, suddenly intense, struck by a thought.

“Only we three.”

“For now, keep it that way.  Curtain her bunk and let none see that she is gone,” he ordered.

“Not even my assistant?” queried Doctor Corin.

“Especially not Mikka,” said Barad decisively.  “Give her other work that keeps her out of the sickbay for now.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Barad and Kurti initialed the sick-bay casual visit list and left.  They were sobered by Tanlin’s passing but they had never truly known her.  The two had other and more pressing things to think about.  By the time that they had got to Barad’s cabin door, they were feeling once again the effects of their prank at dinner.

Once in his cabin, she laughed and the Captain chimed in.

“Did you see their faces?” he hooted.

“Which ones?” she replied, delighted by the response that she’d seen. “The officers or the crew?  The ones that I used to know just about fell off their benches!  That was even better than the officers for me.  After you chose me, they wrote me off and wouldn’t even talk to me when they did have the chance.”

Barad looked at her, seeing her anew, yet again.  “You have changed, Kurti.  I was sure that going before the whole crew like that would at least embarrass you.  You show no sign of it.  May I ask why?”

She sobered and considered carefully before answering.  “Truly, Sir, it is survival.  Your cabin-girls have a short life usually, and an unpleasant one, if rumor be true at all.  

“From what I have seen, they did not even try to please you.  That was their job.  You have always had a short way with people who don’t do their jobs.  Most folks have some point where they will say something like, I would rather die than — whatever.  

“I’ve decided to live.  That means doing my job as well as possible.   With what has passed between us, I could not marry to get off the ship now.  You would never feel safe, and rightly so.  One slip of a tongue and we both would be convicted of violating the Marriage Laws. Command me if necessary or just tell me what is needed and give me the chance to do what you want as well as I can.  For however long I live, Sir, I am yours.”

Barad beamed.  “I was right.  You think deeply.  This goes far beyond the present task.  You have clearly told me why I can trust you, in terms of your own self interest.

“Now, I have that game of Three Dragons to play tonight.  You are the stakes.  I leave the whole set-up and refreshments to you.”  He pulled her to him and kissed her.  She responded with the appearance of enthusiasm.  Then he released her and playfully patted her behind. “Get to it.”

As she was about to leave, Barad impulsively handed her a six-inch dagger of Strong Skin fang, honed to a razor edge.  Startled, she was about to refuse it when he spoke.  “Kurti, There are only two people on this ship that I trust enough to allow them to be armed in my presence.  One is Selked, whom I’ve known from childhood, and the other is you.  Carry this to defend yourself, if any of the crew should get ideas.”

TO BE CONTINUED

<==PREVIOUS   NEXT==>

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[verai-marcel]

Arthur explicitly telling you not to take on a job on your own, while he’s out doing a heist he comes back to camp to find out you do take on a job which leads to angry, punishing sex in his tent? bonus if Dutch overhears and teases him about it in the morning :)

Author’s Notes: Your wish is my command, as my first ever tumblr request, my dear.

Summary: Arthur expects you to listen to him, for your own good. When you don’t, he teaches you a lesson you won’t soon forget.

Tags: rough sex, angry sex, bondage, D/s, dirty talk, low honor Arthur, spanking

Also find it on AO3

A Hard Lesson (RDR2 Fanfic, 18+ ONLY)

“And do NOT go out on a job on your own, you hear?”

Arthur’s authoritative tone grated on your nerves at times. You two had bonded over the last few months, going on jobs together, you proving to be a good shot and a quick witted partner, especially during getaways. But damn, was he an alpha male sometimes. It was fine when he had to herd a whole group of gang members on a job. But when it was just you and him? He could stand to tone it down some, since you usually listened to him anyway, deferring to his experience.

Today, however, his behavior irked you, and as you nodded sullenly, you started formulating a plan in your head.

“Okay then. I know you don’t like it, but it’s for your own good,” he said, patting your shoulder before leaving on a job with Bill, Javier, and Sean.

To you, he sounded so condescending that you wanted to scream. You were a thief before you joined the gang, and you’d be one still if you ever left the gang. You had survived on being sneaky and secretive, and you had survived on your own before you had tried to rob the same house that Arthur and Javier were. One thing led to another, and here you were, part of the gang. It was nice, having this little family of misfits to come back to. You understood why Arthur was so strongly loyal to the gang.

But he didn’t have to boss you around like that. He had gotten an awful lot more overbearing with you lately, and it was almost suffocating. What the hell was happening with him?

As soon as he left, you went straight to Dutch.

“I’m gonna go scope out some homesteads, see if there’s anything I can grab tonight.”

Dutch just nodded and waved you off, his head still in his book.

You immediately grabbed your gun belt and bag, saddled up on your blue roan, and took off to the north. You knew the boys would be gone a couple of days. You would be back before dawn and no one would be none the wiser.

After freeing a man from his shackles an hour north, he told you of an old man living in a giant house out on top of a hill. You set off, doing your usual rounds, falling into your old thief habits as easily as breathing air. You waited for an opportune time, camping out nearby. As night was at its darkest, you snuck into the house like a shadow, found not one but two piles of hidden cash, and quickly stole away into the night.

You arrived back at the camp at dawn, feeling pretty proud of yourself. The rest of the camp was starting to stir, and you plopped a giant wad of money into the gang’s box. Writing in the ledger, you smiled happily to yourself. You still got it, you told yourself. Walking over to your bed roll, you crawled in and slept like a log, feeling quite pleased.

When you woke up, you did some chores around the camp, helped Pearson make the stew, and chatted with the ladies. You asked them if Arthur was as bossy with them as he was with you.

“No, he never speaks to me like that,” Mary-Beth said, a little wistfully. “I think he cares about you more than he thinks he does.”

You immediately blushed and then shot that idea down. You? With him? He never seemed interested in any of the women in the gang; seemed like they were all his family and he took care of them accordingly. Sure, you liked him well enough, found him attractive as hell, but you had stomped down your feelings as much as you could. He just didn’t seem interested in you.

Tilly nodded in agreement with Mary-Beth. “He certainly looks at you differently than the rest of us. I think he might be sweet on you.”

Before you could respond, Karen butted in. “We’ve known Arthur for a long time. He hasn’t watched a girl like she was a prime steak for a long time.”

Give it to Karen to be delightfully blunt. Then Miss Grimshaw came to break up your gossip party, a bit to your relief, if you were being honest. You spent the rest of the day washing clothes, rolling over the ladies’ observations in your head.

As you climbed into your bedroll for the night, you heard the thundering of horses. The boys were back from their job. Looked like it didn’t go quite as planned, as Arthur was seen pointing angrily at Bill before stalking off towards the gang’s money box. You were about to roll over and sleep, but you saw Arthur freeze as he was looking at the ledger.

Oh shit. He knew. You should’ve given your money to Tilly or Mary-Beth to write down, they would have covered for you.

He looked up at you. A shiver of fear ran down your spine as he angrily wrote in the ledger and then stalked towards you.

You scrambled out of your bed roll and tried to get away. You got all of three yards before he grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you to his tent.

Throwing you on the cot, he closed his tent and tied it shut. Your heart started hammering; you had never seen him close his tent before.

He turned to you, anger emanating from him as he took off his gun belt and bandolier, letting them drop to the ground with a resounding thud. He prowled towards you, and you tried to scoot away from him, your back hitting the wagon as you tucked your legs up.

Arthur grabbed one of your ankles and pulled you closer to him. You didn’t dare scream, you could barely breathe past your fear. You didn’t think he would seriously hit you, but you thought he might give you the scariest talkin’ to of your life, and probably slap you for being so rebellious. Or worse, tie you up to a tree until morning.

When he took out some rope, you started to hyperventilate a little.

“You shoulda listened, girl.” He grabbed your wrists and tied them together.

You finally found your voice. “I handled myself just fine-”

“You disobeyed me,” he cut you off with a growl. Once your wrists were tied, just this side of painful, he grabbed your jaw, his grip tight enough to bruise. Staring right at you this close, you couldn’t look away. It was too intense, and your eyes teared up.

“I’m sorry, alright?” you managed to mumble.

“Not good enough,” he whispered.

And then he crushed his lips to yours.

You were not expecting this, but you didn’t reject him either. He fell upon you, his whole body crushing you into the cot, his hips grinding into you. Feeling how hard he was, a different shiver went up your spine. Desire coursed through your veins.

He only got up when he felt you gasping for air, and stared down at you. He grabbed the front of your night dress and tore it open in swift movements. Sweeping the offending cloth off to the sides of your body, he left you open to his gaze. You tried to cover up your breasts with your tied up hands, and curled up your legs to your stomach.

“Bad girls don’t get to hide,” he chided as he grabbed your legs and spread you wide, keeping you in position by slapping your inner thigh if you tried to move. Then he grabbed your wrists in one hand and forced them over your head.

“Keep your hands there,” he said harshly. “Don’t you dare move.”

You nodded.

“Say yes sir.”

“Y-yes sir,” you said shakily.

His eyes darkened with lust. He took off his suspenders and shirt, and then slowly, just because your eyes were glued to his movements, he freed himself from his jeans. He was thick, hard, and ready to punish you for your defiance.

He leaned over you, supporting himself on one hand next to your face, his other teasing the head of his cock around your folds.

“So wet for me. You really are bad.” He then pushed into you, the burning stretch making you gasp and shift yourself away from him. He slapped your cheek, not too hard, but enough to sting.

“What did I say about moving?” he growled. You stilled and let him take you. He was watching you with a heated stare as every inch slid into you. Once he was all the way in, he grabbed your breasts and squeezed. Hard. You winced, and he slapped each breast, with you gasping sharply each time. Then he gripped your hips tightly before he started to fuck you, no preamble, just hard, forceful rutting.

You managed to keep quiet at first, but as he lifted your body up and angled his thrusts to be somehow deeper than before, you gave one strangled cry before he was on you, one hand around your throat, the other over your mouth.

“Hush,” he whispered. “Not a sound outta you.”

You nodded, and he let go of your mouth so you could breathe easier, but his hand was still around your throat. His grip tightened when your inner muscles squeezed around his cock, and you were sure you were going to have bruises on your neck later. That made you more wet.

Suddenly, Arthur got up off you, releasing your neck. You swallowed as he looked at you, his breathing heavy with both exertion and anger. Silently he flipped you onto your stomach. Wrapping a hand around your mouth again, he rubbed soothing circles around your ass and you relaxed.

Then he spanked you. Your muffled cry of surprise was followed by Arthur shushing you before he delivered another hard smack to your rear. And another. And another. Never to the same spot twice. It stung, and your eyes teared up as he kept spanking you until your entire ass and part of your thighs were sensitive.

Then his soft caress to your ass was almost too much stimulation and you quietly cried a little. He reached down and forced you to turn your head to him, and he leaned down to kiss your tears away.

“You feel bad for not doin’ what I said?” he asked, knowing full well why you were crying. He rubbed your ass again, just to see you tear up again. You whimpered.

“On your knees,” he said as he let go of you, and you obeyed immediately.

“What a lovely shade of red,” he murmured as he palmed your ass. Your breathing caught as he forced his way inside of your wet center once more and pounded you relentlessly. Your sensitized skin combined with his hips ramming into you made for a heady combination of pain and pleasure. You felt his hand grip your hair at the back of your head, and he pulled on you, forcing you to arch your body to his liking.

“Such a pretty girl,” he said in a low voice, sending erotic sparks through your body. “Takin’ your punishment so good, ain'tcha?”

“Yes sir,” you said, barely a whisper.

“Good girl,” he murmured in your ear, before he pushed you down again and flipped you onto your back. He kneeled between your legs and slid inside of you without giving you a chance to breathe. Grabbing your still tied wrists, he held your hands to where he was deep inside.

“Feel me fuckin’ you,” he ordered. Wrapping your fingers around the base of his cock, he started to slowly move in and out, your fingers sliding on his skin from your slick. You watched him start to take you a little faster.

“Take your pleasure. I wanna watch you come knowin’ it was me inside of ya.”

You started touching yourself while he thrust into you slowly, looking into his eyes and seeing the lust, the heat, a dark passion that you had never seen in him before. It burned your blood, made you hotter than you had ever been. You came around his thick length, whispering his name over and over like a prayer.

He watched you come, and then chased his own pleasure, falling on you like a predator taking down his prey, fucking you without giving a damn about how sensitive you were at this moment. It seemed like he wanted to wring every last bit of sensation from you before he finally pulled out and stood up, and seeing him like this towering over you, almost made you come again. Grabbing your hair, he pulled you close.

“Make me spend,” he rasped. You reached up and stroked him, until he came all over your chest and neck with a deep moan.

You both caught your breath for a few moments before Arthur let go of your hair and sat down on the cot next to you.

You looked up at him, he looked at you.

“You learn your lesson?”

“…Yeah,” you said, after a while.

“Sorry about your dress. I’ll go find ya something else to wear, you stay here and clean up.”

You nodded as he patted your head, put himself back together, and left his tent, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

***

Arthur walked slowly to your spot in the camp. He needed some time to collect his thoughts. He hadn’t meant to go so hard on you, but just imagining the danger you could’ve been in had you been caught just made his blood boil. Couldn’t you see that he was just trying to protect you?

“You work out your temper?”

Arthur turned to Dutch and scowled. “I don’t wanna hear it.”

Dutch shrugged, but there was a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth that Arthur didn’t like.

“Just sayin’, glad you found an outlet for your anger. I’m guessin’ she liked it,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

“Goddammit Dutch, let it go,” he grumbled, and Dutch walked away, laughing heartily.

He found a blouse, underthings, and a pair of black pants in your bag, and quickly brought them back to his tent.

***

You had cleaned up with the basin just inside of his tent. You had cut yourself free with the knife that was left on his belt, but had nicked yourself in the process. You were licking the blood off your wrist when Arthur came in, your clothes under one arm.

“Darlin’, I coulda cut you free if you had waited.”

“If I spend all my time waiting for you, I wouldn’t be me.”

Arthur shut his mouth and thought about his next words before he spoke. “Was I too hard on you?”

“Yeah, yeah you was,” you said. “But… but I understand. You was worried about me. You coulda just told me why.”

“Would that have stopped you?”

“Yeah, outta respect for your feelin’s, I woulda.”

Arthur felt like a big dumb idiot at that moment and looked down at his feet. He saw you from under the brim of his hat walk up to him and put your hands on his face.

“Just tell me straight,” you said gently. “Stop bein’ so overbearin’, I can’t stand it.”

“Fine, fine,” he grumbled. “Please don’t go anywhere without me.”

You smiled. That sentence held so much more than a simple command.

“Alright,” you said. “I promise if I go somewhere, you’ll be right there with me.”

——————

Well… that turned out longer than I thought. Send me requests via ask on tumblr @verai-marcel. I might be slow, but I guarantee quality smut for you if you’re willing to wait.

[a-writing-bear]

[PruCan] Chapter 12: Soft-Spoken Calling, They Want Their Shyness Back

Ao3 Link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11159997/chapters/51804982

This Has been cross-posted onto FF & Ao3 under Aliases: BearBooper

You can read this Fic on Tumblr under ‘Keep Reading’ But it is not formatted as well as the AO3 version.

Previous Chapter 

Fandom: Hetalia Axis Powers

Main Pairing: Gilbert Beilschmidt & Matthew Williams (Prussia & Canada)

AU:  College AU - Art Student Matthew and Media/Film Student Gilbert

Age Rating/Mature:  Teen And Up Audiences (12+ due to mentions of mature themes as well as swearing)

Trigger Warnings: High gone bad. Unwanted touching (just mentions but slightly uncomfortable)  Crowds & Depiction of a Panic Attack

In the past, the William-Jones family was a well-to-do, well adjusted and highly successful suburban family. Or at least economically and socially successful- if anyone asked Alfred he would quote their strength of prosperity came exceedingly cursed in terms of emotional wealth. In the most accurate and blunt possible turn of phrase: they were incompatible. Their french woman was an ‘aloof’ type more keen on decorating her doll and darling little boys, rather than acknowledging her arranged marriage to a work-obsessed brit. He could recall the loving pats he would get and Matthew and him sitting on a Saturday morning in a sunroom conservatory of their house in Surrey, England with their mother combing his ruthless cowlicks away; their father would be incessantly jabbering on the phone- something along the lines of investments and long term fail safes. They were 6 when they last saw that old house and it’s growing vines and English charm- his mother had decided to drag them to Canada, and despite the failed boutique business venture in Montreal, she had a trust fund large enough to keep them located there without work- obviously not enough to keep their father interested, Harry always was hard to please. He remembered the arguments that plagued the stairwell, the shouting they thought wasn’t audible through the twin’s bedroom walls. 

Harry was quick to file divorce the moment he got a venture in the USA. Turns out it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been arranged married to a woman once her family no longer pulls strings. Alfred went with dad. At least he was still dad back then- Alfred feels remorse when he does hear the word ‘Father’ tumble out Matthew’s mouth as if he was being scolded again. He remembers Matthew staying with mama, her pretty nails and thin arms wrapping around his brother as they said goodbye. 

Bad signal phone calls and some Summer camps were the only thing that kept the two siblings in contact, that and the occasional visit when dad couldn’t be arsed to deal with Al’s pestering. Prodigy of the academics, and exceeding in sports was the only way to get dad to put his phone down. He remembered Matthew on the phone complaining mama trying to bar him from hockey, or lamenting that mother didn’t see art as more than a hobby. So different huh? Matthew called a lot. Still close despite the distance. At least not till high school, if only Alfred had shut his mouth, if only he-

“Al? Ah? Has the..signal cut out or..?”Kiku’s voice wandered back into his head.

“I was asking if you’ve talked to your dad about-”

“No, I haven’t asked him about it. I haven’t even talked to Matthew about it. It’s getting late keeks- I should log-off, I’ve got an early lecture.."

----

Matthew's head felt subdued, despite the cackling cacophony of laughter that filled the room. His earlier attempts to get some water ended with him giggling with some random people- he could only really recognise the accent-tinged voice of Lukas, asking if he was alright. Of course, he was alright. He was here right? Everything was fine. Okay. good. Has this room always been this fuzzy? The kitchen counter seemed to stretch out forever in front of him and his mind wandered. God, he should not have smoked that much. He probably stank...everyone could probably smell him...oh fuck he’s a dumb idiot. Lukas must hate me.

“I don’t hate you Matthew- what are you going on about?” Shit could he read minds or was he talking, the Canadian’s inner voice seemed to be shouting but the pang only subsided with the tiniest sips of the overly clean tap water. 

“Jeez. I thought I told Mathias to not go overboard tonight...look Matthew I need you to tell me how you feel right now.”

Floaty. He felt floaty- but also like he’s sinking, melting into the tile floor and he can’t get up, the shallow attempts at sobering up felt like they were weighted with 10 years of baggage. There are so many voices in this house- has it always been this cramped? Had Lukas’tiles always been that baby blue? Oh god, he’s a horrible friend, he’s gonna be left here so fucking floaty, and he’s just gonna float away and everyone-

“Matthew- Matthew your phone man, Hej! Matthew! For god's sake” suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder and someone reaching into his pockets- despite the sudden discomfort and manhandling, Matthew was too tired to do much but whine at whoever was fishing out his phone. he hated people touching him. Not now.

“Hej? Thank god please tell me you’re calling to pick- …. Yes, Matthew is here isn’t that why you’re calling?. What? .. I- hm, I don’t think he can chat much...okay…” Lukas had moved the phone near to Matthew's ear, holding it with the other hand on his hip in annoyance but also a concern for his very paranoid and high friend.

“Mattie?” Oh, that silken voice that screamed of adventure and rock music, so nice- Gilbert was so nice. 

“Gil? Hi hello, what's up eh?”

“Mattie? Where are you?-”

“Above! I’m above!”

“What? Mattie are you- are you drunk or something?” Matthew chose not to answer but instead snort and push his glasses up before humming to his friend on the phone and pushing the little glass rectangle towards Lukas.

“I can’t pick him up, wherever you are… is Tim with him?” This time Lukas answered stating that Tim was incapacitated on a couch somewhere.

“Right. Hm. I’ll go call Alfred and he’ll pick them-”

Suddenly Matthew’s heart rate jumped even higher, if he wasn’t already slightly over aware, now he was on overdrive. The phone had been on speaker and he heard mention of his brother. Alfred couldn’t know. If he knew it would be over. He can’t know. Never know. No. Nope definitely not.

“Uh I don’t think he wants Alfred man, He’s oh shit Matthew breath, please. Matthew- Matt, hold on…Someone call Tim now please!”

Matthew was mumbling. Mumbling and mumbling and god shit it was loud in here and people kept touching him and he just wanted people to stop touching him and fuck fuck fuck. He needed to be sober right now- this was not gonna end well. Breathing sucked. Everything sucked insanely right now. He saw Tim’s clunky shoes in front of him- since when was I crouching? He heard someone saw something and he could feel others watching and watching oh god people are watching, Tim? Hello Tim? 

“Matthew. Give me a colour” brown. “Why brown?” Brown because that was the colour of Tim’s shoes right then..he could trace the floor around the brown shoes...browner than the oak trees near his old house.

“How about another colour?” Blue. but like light blue. The kind you swaddle a baby in. blues that seem to almost be too simple and light.

“That's nice, where did you see blue?”

“In the- uh- …” he felt like choking a little bit but the words were coming out. “The kitchen has..blue tiles.” Everything was coming back down to earth and Matthew was starting to feel a bit better- even if his chest hurt a little. 

“How do you feel about red?” That was a dumb question. He answered. “I like red.” He loves red. Red is his hoodie. His hoodie which was being pushed into his arms right now as he stood up, and Tim’s face came into view, a slight worry masked with relief at his friend's recovery from the panic attack.

“I...I want to go home.” Matthew spoke as if a fog had cleared up, but he still felt slightly floaty as he was brought into a car with Tim by his side, and chaperoned home. He’ll think more about all of this later. He wanted to sleep.

-----

Gilbert didn’t like sleeping early on Saturday but then again not many people worked on Sundays. To be fair, Gilbert’s Sunday job was a temporary stand-in at the grocery shop for some lady who got pregnant. He just needed a bit more cash and was willing to spend a few weeks of bagging if it meant he could save up to see his uncle. He should probably sleep now so tomorrow he could get work done without feeling terrible, the diner dinner was already awkward enough.

He wondered what Matthew was doing. Matthew with his sweet smile, who seemed so different in front of his brother and especially with that guy Tim. Matthew who got headaches from too much sugar..who shared vanilla milkshakes. God Matthew was adorable. After scrolling through his social media (and perhaps doing some minor stalking of a certain boy’s Instagram) Gilbert was still not tired enough to call it a night. When did his Saturday nights become ‘wait til work’ days? He was getting a bit too bland he supposed. Ludwig was probably asleep. He should text Mattie- ask how he’s doing- perhaps that invite-only event ended already. Texting didn’t seem to do much. It wouldn’t be too rude to call right? Just to check on him.

“Hey, Birdie! I know you’re probably busy but-” 

“Hej? Thank god please tell me you’re calling to pick-” someone else’s voice reverberated down the line, causing great confusion.

“Is uh, Is Matthew Williams there?” Gilbert could hear laughter and hollering in the background but all seemed unimportant except the fact that someone distinctly NOT Matthew picked up the phone.

“Yes, Matthew is here isn’t that why you’re calling?” The voice also sounded just as confused as himself, assuming that Gil knew where Matthew was.

“I don’t really know why I’m calling but now I’m worried, you are not him”

 “What?” 

“Just put him on the phone and let me talk to him.” Gilbert sighed as he heard the phone being passed, the fumbling noises making a ruckus on the phone.

“.. I- hm, I don’t think he can chat much...okay…” At least whoever this was trying.

With bated breath and a slight pause, the phone seemed to sound as if the jostling was over. “Mattie?” he called out hesitantly 

“Gil? Hi hello, what's up eh?” The voice sounded more happy than surprised but much too calm.

“Mattie? Where are you?-”

“Above! I’m above!” what the fuck is he talking about? He sounds completely out of it. Gilbert’s protective instincts kicked in, worried that something had happened to the Canadian. Hopefully, Matthew was as tolerant as his brother and wouldn’t be having a killer hangover tomorrow- he needed Matthew slightly sober tomorrow to at least talk about his project. 

“What? Mattie are you- are you drunk or something?” No response. Only a slight humming. Christ. The stranger must have been given the phone since they apologised for Matthew’s inability to cooperate- they asked if he could come to pick the boy up.

“I can’t pick him up, wherever you are… is Tim with him?” shit. Tim was drunk too? What kind of stupid idiots both get drunk if they knew they had to go home. Jeez if that dutch dude got drunk he can only imagine what god awful party Matthew had stuck himself into. He would attempt to get Matthew, but his motorbike and drunk people do not exactly mix well.

Thinking hard he stared at his dorm room door- Alfred! He could call his friend’s brother. “Right. Hm. I’ll go call Alfred and he’ll pick them-”

Suddenly he heard a wail and some noises of shouting- Matthew in the background, only briefly-   “Uh I don’t think he wants Alfred man, He’s oh shit Matthew breath, please. Matthew- Matt, hold on…Someone call Tim now please!”

Gilbert could only hear a rustling and some more movement. With that, the phone seemed to hang up and he stared in complete panic at the phone.

A text.

M @ 12:47am : Hi. This is Matthew’s, Friend Lukas. Sorry for the hang-up, Matthew had a panic attack again. He is okay. They are being taken back to campus by Berwald, Tim will be dropped off back at his house too, nothing to worry about. You might want to help get Matthew to his room later though. Sorry for the trouble. Night.

Fucking hell. Gilbert slipped on some sweatpants, a jumper and some flip flops, already on his way out to meet up with this Berwald guy at the dorm entrance. 

[fightingorcavingintodepression]

1/16/17 5:17 pm

I had my first panic attack I've had in a long time. I've gotten so bad at work my manager called me at 10AM and left a voicemail. I called him back and said I had a Doctors appointment and forgot to send out an email to the team. I hate lying, but i can’t realistically say I'm suicidal and won't even get out of bed every morning.

I ran to the bathroom and started dry-heaving for a good 2-3 minutes. Then I laid down on my bed and felt like crying, and then Stayed there for nearly another hour.

Kill me.

1/20/17

I'm eating lunch by myself at 3:06 on Friday. I've only hit myself a few times today. I ordered and shipped a present to Shara and it should get there tomorI'mrow, but today is her birthday. I deleted my Facebook and haven't been posting on tumblr, so I'm avoiding everything. I feel guilty and don't know what to do. I'm going to stop typing because I'm tearing up in the restaurant. I'm pushing all of my friends away. I saw Selina last weekend and it was so awkward. I can't even hang out with my best friend without it being awkward. I want to kill myself.

Please let me die in an accident.

10:56 pm I want to keep hitting myself until I don't wake up.

1/25/17 Wednesday 11:39pm

I'm at McDonald's getting a milkshake and food. I've "worked" from home the past three days because I don't wake up till 9 or 10. That's a lie, I'll wake up and hit snooze, but won't force myself into up. On Monday I stayed online till 11:30 and then said o had a doctors appointment and was gong to wfh the rest of the day, but the last two days I haven't even sent anything out. I deserve to get fired. My depression is destroying me.

1/26/17 Thursday 2:30pm

I woke up late at 8:50ish and got online. Did the scheduled work for Austin and once that was finished, drove into the office and got in at about 10:30 (I think). I ate lunch at my desk and I've gone back and forth to the bathroom and just sat. Only work I've done today is finally send an email I've needed to for weeks. Mom asked me to call her at lunch and I finally said I didn't really want to celebrate my birthday. I told her I'd decide on a weekend and give her a call tonight, but I'm not sure I can. It's now 2:48. I've been in the bathroom almost 20 minutes.

2/16 4:29pm

I woke up at 3:30 am and stayed awake, but then fell asleep and didn't get online from home until about 9:40. Came into the office about 12:40. I've done maybe an hours worth of work. I really hate myself. When driving into work nearly had an accident from someone driving recklessly and me not just letting them pass me. They cut to my right into a lane for cars getting on and drove on the side of the road to pass me since I didn't slow down. The driver even had people (possibly kids) in the back of their car. I hate myself, but that person as well if they can justify that type of driving that also may harm their own kids, let alone other people. I started yelling again in my car...it's getting worse.

I hit myself again this morning in the shower.

2/17 12:18am

I can see myself committing suicide within the next year. Depending if I don't get better, maybe not till after my parents pass.

2/20 12:33pm

I didn't get up again today (Monday) until 9:50 and log online. Then finally came in to the office about 10 minutes ago. Off to a bad start of the week. I should be fired. I did "clean" a good portion of my apartment yesterday because at&t suppose to be coming this week. It's still a terrible mess, but you can finally see the floor now. Next is the kitchen.

1:04pm - eating lunch by myself at wich which. Postponing going back to the office. Not sure if taking these notes is beneficial, or even a smart idea (hint, it's not)

2/21 12:31pm

Late again. Thinking of working from home tomorrow. Getting worse. Really worse. Spent too much money yesterday on gifts I'll probably never give.

2/24 11:52am

It's my birthday. Today hasn't been a bad day.

2/28 12:15 pm

In training. Feeling useless. My back is also killing me. Have my APA later today. Guess I'll find out how badly I'm doing or if we'll just pretend I'm doing fine when it's obvious I'm not. Not likely I'll get fired since I'm an ITA, but don't know. Just haven't been given a warning or anything

3/13 12:48pm

I'd been doing okay for a little while. Starting to get worse again. Started saying things again. Didn't wake up for work till 9ish. Didn't get in till 11ish. Need to stop. Want to hurt myself. Want to kill myself. Fighting it. Still doing bad. In the bathroom wanting to hit myself. Shara texted about doing stuff this weekend, and I almost want to back out. I'm suppose to do Aerials with gabby tonight, but want to use my weight as an excuse and say I'm over their limit (which may actually be true, but their website doesn't say and no one picked up when I called), or that I don't have the right clothes, or I'm having a panic attack (probably closest to being honest). And one of the other things that's bugging me in the back of my head today I'm hating myself most of all for it even bothering me.

3/20 4:39am

Mild depression acting up. Want to "call/email" out of work. Smacking myself a bit the past day

3/22 6:14pm

Didn't go into work today and haven't done any work so far. Needing to get a report and presentation done before tomorrow. Depression has been really bad this week. Sleep is getting off. Whispering harmful things to myself and hitting myself more often.

3/24 10:44am

I want to hurt myself. I'm doing really badly this week. No point even coming into work. Can tell I'm being replaced in all areas. Went to lunch with people. Faked it. Now I'm back at the office (2:04pm) and hiding in the bathroom. I feel like I'm gonna pass out. I want to pass out.

I want to die.

3/25 5:02pm

Doing bad today too. Didn't get up till noon. Went to the park to walk, but had negative thoughts the entire time and it didn't help. Convinced myself to go out to dinner at Las Margaritas that I normally get take out from. I plan to make myself sit in the living room when I get home to get out of my bedroom/bed. It feels pathetic, but right now the smallest things feel like an achievement.

3/27 1:41am

I want to kill myself. I just want it to end. I don't want to hurt my family though. I wish I could make them forget i existed so I wouldn't feel guilty about it.

3:06am still lying awake on the couch. The longer I stay awake, the longer I postpone till tomorrow comes.....or that's how it feels. Ready to kill myself.

3/30 8pm

I now weigh 245 pounds. I write this as I sit in line at chick fil-a getting a meal for two people and a milkshake

3/31 6:38

Deleted all of my social media. Specifically tumblr, which I can't reactive. Gone forever.

4/6 1:12pm

Was doing better for a bit because work was busy enough to distract me. Getting too busy now. Think I overheard two people saying they don't want to work with me, and storage team disregards my existence. It's a new feeling when I feel like I'm doing some good work, but know I'm also doing terrible in other areas and people no longer want to work with me. Hitting hard and really want to hurt myself again. I need to make some life choices before I end up committing suicide.

4/7 1:36pm

It might be good to just quit before June. If I sold everything I had, I could pay off all my debt. I'd be left with nothing, but wouldn't leave anything for people to worry about.

4/17 10:21am

So overwhelmed.

4/19 9:08am

Sitting on toilet at home. So overwhelmed at work. Can't get anything done and nothing is going right.

6/1 11:02am Thursday

Hadn't been in the office in almost a week. Had Friday off and Monday for Memorial Day, but lied and said Tom had knee surgery on Tuesday and then wfh on Wednesday. Getting bad again. Realized I hadn't been writing in here for a month and a half. Not sure if that's a good win or not, since I mostly only remember to when I'm getting bad again.

6/25 2:15am

Depression getting bad again. Suicide would be nice. Just want it all to end. If I could sleep for a year, I'd take it.

6/27 12:40pm

Didn't go into work until almost 11 yesterday. Working from home today. Can't even answer a phone call. Have a meeting at 2 and then will probably shower as unavailable the rest of the day.

6/28 3:06pm

Woke up at 5 and still didn't go into work today. Stayed showing as away all day and said I had issues with Skype and car issues

7/14 12:50pm

JB texted me asking if I was off. I should just kill myself. Lying through my teeth. His pa

7/18 3:28am Tuesday

I want to die in an accident so no one I care about thinks it was a suicide.

7/20 1:59pm

Didn't go into work until 12 today. While I was in the shower, my phone range and I just started cursing thinking it was my manager. Already had my lie made up going to say my car stalled this morning coming into work. Didn't have my phone (which is why I didn't pick up if it was them), but luckily a cop pulled over and called a tow truck....

Haven't had to use my lie yet, but going to use parts of it tonight to get out of going to a coworkers house for game night.

I really hate myself.

I need to call in my medicine to see if they'll prescribe it again, even if it doesn't seem like it's helping.

7/31 9:04pm

In line at Taco Bell. Didn't go into work today or Friday. Meant to send an email saying I was taking my mom to doctors and would be back Tuesday, but overslept and didn't bother. Don't want to go in tomorrow either. I haven't been replying to Shara and I feel terrible, but I'm not in a good place either. Hadn't been replying to family until Mom called worried and acted like I just forgot to hit send on some texts. It's easier to act like nothing is wrong with people who don't know I'm not good mentally. I saw a post on Tumblr that describe what I'm feeling. I'm pushing people away so it's easier when I want to kill myself.

9/5 11:42am

Moved to new apartment. Enjoying it so far. Had a 5 day weekend from labor/took Thursday and Friday off to move. 1st day back at work and already feeling overwhelmed and counting down till 4:30. Kill myself creeping inside my head again.

9/21 10:02am

Want to die. Want to die. I just really want to die. Kill myself. Kill myself. I'm so tempted to kill myself. I'd make it look like an accident so not to hurt my family. But I need to find homes for Yen and Shani, or plan accordingly. Could drop them at a shelter, but include some cash to help care for them (1k?). Then someone who is a good person, but just had money trouble would take them. I'm not sure I'll live 15+ years to outlive them. I take that back; I know I won't. I don't even know sometimes if I'll make it to tomorrow. I'm not actually making any attempts or plans to do it, but every time I walk in to work or leave, I hope a car hits me. Kill me kill me I just want to die.

10/18 9:52am

Overslept and didn't go into work today. "Working" from home online. Depression episode kicking in again. I just want to die.

10/31 Tuesday 12:02pm

Didn't get into work until 11 today. Called into the 8:30 conference and answered some emails to appear like I was working, but hardly got out of bed. ~Read back through some of these notes just now and now I've got in the back of my head the idea of starting to hit myself again. I know this is a downward slope, but really want to go to the bathroom stall and do it anyways just so I don't feel numb. It's lunchtime, so no one should be there to hear it. ~~I ended up going to get rubber bands and paper clips instead. Still hit myself s few times, but people kept coming into the restroom while I was in the stall.~

11/1 2:16 pm

In drivethru for chick-fil-a. Working from home rest of week probably. My anger is terrible. Called someone a cunt in the drivethru for honking and it wasn't even at me. My window was down, so think the person in front of me may have heard. I'm a terrible person and hate myself.

11/16 9:14am Thursday

Just got into work. Feel exhausted and drained as always. Just noticed it’s coming up on a year in January when I started making these notes. I honestly don’t know if I’m doing better or not. I’d say I’m not. Definitely not.

12/5/17 2:36pm

It’s a Tuesday, and I’d not been in the office for two weeks (11/21) between workin from home on Wednesday because thanksgiving was the next day, off Thursday and Friday, and then all last week I just never came in. Yesterday I “worked” from home, and today I didn’t get in till about 12. And the only thing I wanted to think about while walking into work because I forgot my headphones and couldn’t drown out the thoughts with music was how I wanted to kill myself. I have a meeting from 3-4 with new agile team (honestly probably only real reason I forced myself into the office). I wonder how fake I can present myself today. Hopefully it won’t be terribly interactive and mostly just informational.

1/14/18 11:27pm

I didn’t go into work at all last week. Was online only Monday for the entire day, and then Wednesday for the day on do-not-disturb. Skipped Tuesday and Wednesday completely though. Need to force myself to go into the office tomorrow. I hate myself. So much to catch up on. I cleaned a bit of the apartment, but still need to do more. My oncall starts next week, and I pray it’s quiet.

1/22/18 3:10am

Won’t go to bed because then the morning comes faster. I’m oncall this week and I just pray nothing happens at all. Even one ticket. Please don’t. I think I have an appointment this Friday about my antidepressants, but honestly I’m not sure. Please let me be left alone this week and work from home. I’ll even make sure I get work done.

1/23/18 12:30am

I’m pathetic at work.

2/4/18 6:43pm Sunday

Out grocery shopping. Tried to do small talk. Wanted to help bag like I do sometimes, but not doing well, so just awkwardly typing this on my phone. I HAVE to get work done when I get home, but haven’t been doing well. I’ll be lucky if I get anything done or I do it in the middle of the night (especially with my sleep schedule).

2/5/18 11:52am

Didn’t get anything done last night, but was able to wake up early and get it submitted by 8 (only one other person has anything uploaded so far). What pisses me off is another teammate setup a meeting at 2 with no heads up. That little amount of time and a same day meeting? Fuck that shit. I’ll attend, but doubt John will and don’t blame him. I said I was going to the doctor earlier, so purposely missed the one actual meeting I had today. Couldn’t get out of bed. Hate myself. Submitted a service request for the lights to be fixed in my apartment, so that’s the one useful thing I’ve done. I was wrong, John did accept. I hate myself.

5/7/18 Monday 8:59am

On the train in to work. Only going in for the ITA orientation and then probably leaving. Probably will stay an hour to get hibachi for lunch and then leave. I’m oncall this week. Please please please don’t have any tickets or sde’s after hours. Please god. Just this once. I’ve been doing so well with my depression, but the last week and a half it’s been dipping again and I’m afraid. On the chart at my therapy office, id finally for the first time dipped below the number for being depressed! I know I’ll always have depression and depression slumps, but it’s scary going back into my first one after doing well for almost two months. I don’t want to go back into that. I really don’t. Please just don’t have my oncall this week go badly. Dear god, just please don’t. I don’t want to breakdown in tears from anxiety this week. Make my next oncall worse, but just let me not have to worry about anything this week. Please.

5/7/18 Monday 11:21am

Doing better mentally once I got in the office and moving. It’s sad how easily that change can happen. You’d think I’d be happy, but just makes me realize how easily I can drop again. Part of me knows I could stay at the office and continue working, but the other half doesn’t care. I’m eating hibachi and then taking the train home.

5/10/18 1:02pm

Finishing up lunch at hisaki and then going into office. Have to recount all of the WebLogic VM counts manually.....

All the work before I did is basically useless.

Time to go through 400+ (maybe less since a good number are in the shared environment) and find out their host count. I shouldn’t really be complaining. Just didn’t want to have to do/worry about anything till after my vacation.

Now it’s 1:32 and I’m sitting in the toilet just waiting for the day to end. Shoot myself shoot my self I just want to shoot my self.

5/23 5:12pm

Felt sick the past few days. Worked from home. Throat is killing me, but in line at McDonald’s and going to get

5/25 Friday 11:27am

Hardly worked at all this week. Ignored a voicemail to call back my PO. Work is frustrating me.

I just hit myself for the first time in a long time again. Chest, face, head. It felt good

5:57pm clenching my fists in drive through. Want to hurt myself

5/28 Monday 2:04pm Memorial Day off work

At the bbq place getting Togo food. Been in bed all day/all weekend really. Felt sick, but also depressed. Stomach was so upset, didn’t take antidepressants yesterday. Going to take them for today when I get back. Still, I’ve not been doing well at all. Hitting myself more. Mainly the chest. May even do it on the way home. Just feeling numb again. Started reblogging suicidal/depression posts on tumblr again. It’s pathetic. Like a cry for help to the two I know who are on tumblr, but one never acknowledges them, and the other rarely gets on anymore. I have therapy this Friday (o think?) and have no improvement to speak of to the doctor. Overslept one from depression, but rescheduled the last one due to work issues. Slit my throat. Want to die. Let it end. Started singing those little tunes to myself the last week or two. Want to hurt myself. Really just want to drop dead from an accident. Get someone to take care of my cats, and then my family won’t think it’s a suicide.

6/12 10:59am Tuesday

Sitting at train station going into work. Just got back from surgery follow up and everything is fine. Spent maybe 10 minutes there in total. Now I’m going into work to eat my unhealthy lunch hibachi chicken and soda as always. I’m sad all the team. I have an in person meeting from 2-2:50, but will probably leave after that. Unless I ask Carter if he needed help with patching and he says yes, which is why I’m considering if I even should?? Wow, that’s pathetic of me. I only have to make it till EOD Thursday. Then I’ll watch Lily for the weekend, have my therapy session on Friday, and (maybe?) visit Mom and Tom on Sunday.

6/24 Monday 10:46am

I may barely make it into the office for an 11am meeting. This isn’t going to be a good week.

7/3 Tuesday 6:11pm

I missed my medicine twice in the last week (I think? Or only once). But just don’t care to take it anymore since I’ve noticed

7/9 Monday 12:15am

This isn’t gonna be a good week. I can already tell.

7/22 Sunday 1am

Doing patching. Teammates were being fucking useless, so I got offline and said I was having internet issues. It’s been a fucking hour and they’ve not done shit. The job is still hung exactly where it was when I left off. They’ve not tried to do anything at all. There are two more groups that have to run for Linux, and we’re already 2/3 hours of patching there is from 11-2am. Cancel the ticking job you dipshits. I even sent an email basically telling you to!!! I did all the ducking work for you!!! Instead you just sit there for an hour doing nothing!!! Cancel the fucking job!! If it gets to 1:30am and still nothing, I’m sending a follow up email and ccing myself. I’m not even suppose to be in charge here!! They are!!! At least Brandon should be. Daniel is ridiculously new, but clearly knows more, so make the ticking call too, for fuck sake.

- they finally did when I was typing this all out. And of course it was the new kid, not the guy who is a full time employee who should be making the call. Then again, I’m a waste of space too. Just got fed up with them and quit with a bullshit excuse. I’m trash. Now that I’ve calmed down, I hate myself again.

Thursday 7/26 2:54pm

First time I’ve been in the office I think nearing 3 weeks? I’ve not been taking my antidepressants as consistently. So tired all the time. Hardly get out of bed. Didn’t go to therapy last week. I need to call tomorrow to cancel next weeks too unless it’s early in the morning. And also schedule more since I don’t have any after that. And also reschedule one on a different day for my medicine.

Just got off my 3pm call. PO wasn’t there, so I basically lead. Talked for like 5 fucking minutes before my team lead said they’ve been doing it manually the last 4 days. So basically I’m a fucking idiot and out of the loop. I’m definitely not Sr IT analyst ready. I’m just gonna leave work. I hate myself. Put myself on do not disturb and closed my laptop. Ran and caught the train. I’m so ducking fat and out of shape. I should just go skydiving by myself and not pull the parachute. Quick and easy. Could I do it in a body bag so it’s less of a mess for the people who have to clean it up? Sky dive, pull the bag out midair. Put it on and zip it up. Splat. Done. Kaput. 😊

How many weeks vacation do I have? Just use it all at once and disappear. Then when it’s up I just never come back. I wanna jump in front of a car or train, but not okay with the impact it’d have on the person driving. If I jump off mountain, the only person it might hurt is the people who found me? Plus annoy the people who have to clean me up.

Could have a suicide note and send it in so the police can find me easily? Idk. Can’t do anything till my cats are okay.

8/14/18 Tuesday 10:19am

On the train to work. Only going in to have an in person meeting. Didn’t wake up till 9:20 and only jumped up because of the daily Standup call at 9:30. Have patching this week and next. Alex is out the rest of the week, so I’m in charge of Windows....never done it by myself, yet alone enough with someone else to be confident. Need to send out the email as soon as we get Tom’s email tomorrow. Get the jobs running and finish documentation. I think Wednesday only has noreboot servers and is a small window? Hopefully okay.

I’ve not been taking my medication. Haven’t been to the doctors in really long (therapy/antidepressant doctor). I have roughly 35 days to get in better shape/health/mental state before going to Samantha’s to see Welcome to Nightvale. Will it happen? No idea.

Still on the train. 10:27. I feel so num. no emotion at all.

5:49pm - on the train home from work. Got a lot done today, so feel somewhat decent. If I can bury my head in work and actually get stuff done, I won’t notice my depression sometimes.

9/5 Wednesday 10:51 am

Have a big kickoff meeting I’m leading. Has a shit ton of people in it. Don’t feel confident. Stomach is nauseated. Want to hurt myself too. Get it over with. Cut my throat. Let me die. Die die die die.

9/20 Thursday 11:05am

Have barely worked the last week since the hurricane hit and we’re in storm mode. Had my first “shift” start at 6 this morning, and I was the only one in the room. Was a good thing I came in to the office. Actually got some stuff done. Just really tired since I couldn’t get to sleep till 2:30 or 3, and got up at 4:22. Going home right at 2. Today hasn’t been bad, but I’m exhausted and sad at myself for being so fat and out of shape.

Animal crossing

Love Nicky

Clash royal

Good fantasy

9/26 11:53am

On train into work. Have two in-person meetings this afternoon. I regret volunteering to do the ITA stuff. Just added stress with no good outcome. My stomach hurts too. Don’t know if something actually wrong, or just anxiety of everything with work, deciding to go to the BigFix event tomorrow during work hours, and text Samantha lying I can’t come to the show. Too many lies happening at once due to my anxiety. I guess I do have anxiety. My depression making my life difficult makes me have anxiety. God my stomach hurts. Kill me kill me I want to die. Slit my throat just want to die. Just disappear I just want to disappear. First steps I need to take today to help fix my anxiety

1. Call and reschedule therapy as soon as I get off train DONE

2. Talk to Cathy and then John about change freeze issue with Websphere maintenance. Then get communications out. SENT AN EMAIL

3. Prep documentation for ITA meeting at 3. WORKING ON

4. Plan what time to leave tomorrow

5. Text Samantha for details (address, what time I should get there, etc)

6. Plan to drive home after show

Die die die die die die di die die die die die kill me

10/3 Wednesday 2:51pm

I’ve not been into work since last Wednesday, and hardly online all this week. Finally got a text from manager this morning asking what’s up. Ready to kill my self.

10/4 Thursday 1:24pm

On the train into work for a 2pm meeting I’m hosting. I may barely make it in. Barely. Or I’ll be late. Shocker. I’m useless. I look and feel disgusting. Literally just need to know if Cathy will fight if we have to push the qa and prod environment during a change freeze. If not, what will happen if we have pushed test and dev, but can’t push prod/qa for months?? I highly doubt that’s okay.

11/1/2018 Thursday 1:12pm

Waiting for the train. Overslept for therapy and then an important meeting I said I’d be late for, but not miss the entire fucking thing. I’ve pretty much given up on therapy for now. Doesn’t make a difference, and won’t get another appointment for 2-3 months, if they’d even give me one with how many no-shows I’ve done. My stomach acid is killing me.

Have meeting. Schedule jobs for 5. Go eat hibachi. Take train home. Meeting is at 2. Doubt chuck will be there. Cathy may call in or not. Literally just depends if John/srini at there. If not, will be over in 10 minutes. If they are, just keep chugging along with Websphere (need to plan how to do QA and PROD along side OS patching.

QA

Wednesday - do it right after patching for Linux/aix. Try and include windows in the patching, or same scenario.

Do we think it’s worth doing adc/cdc groups still? Or just all at once?

Thursday - Linux/aix I do manually (hit B & C right at 5, and then A when it finishes)

11/29 Thursday 9:25am

Going into the office. I’m just really sad. I’m up to 283lbs without any clothes on. I’m working nights now with patching at work. I’m rude to the point that I don’t even move my bag on the train. It’s just all really sad. It’s not bad enough I’m hurting myself or suicidal thoughts, but I’ve just been emotionally numb. I quit taking my medicine for about a week or two, but then noticed an increase in anger, so started taking them again.

12/18 Tuesday 3:39pm

Sitting at a jimmy johns nears my apartment eating. On vacation from work, and watching Lily till Thursday, but I’ve had to be online some because patching still isn’t being covered by the EDC, even though Matt apparently was handling it but clearly didn’t? I’ll be up anyways, so I’m not mad mad, but more just annoyed, because I’m not doing this come January. Pretty depressed though. Sleeping all the time. I weigh over 285lbs now. Maybe I’ll die from a heart attack in 2019? I’ve not been taking my medicine lately, but I’ll run out soon anyways unless I schedule an appointment with my doctor. Definitely see my anger spiking some when I’m not on it while driving or the sorts. Last Friday I went into work and ran into my manager(s) which was good. Talked some, and mentioned about the possibility of moving to Durham. Would be okay, but did mention Charlotte is better career wise, which is true (but I’m okay with that?). I’m just sad all the time still. Apartment is a mess almost always, which isn’t good for the cats. I hardly ever clean their litter boxes, and it’s disgusting for them. Which reminds me I have to take them to the vet. I should call when I get back to schedule something and also clean their litter boxes before anything else.

2/18 10:02am

On my way into work to train one guy on patching, even though I’ll probably be the one having to do it the rest of the week. Was in an accident yesterday. Car hit me from behind. Surprisingly still shaken from it. I’m pathetic. Have to call insurance today since they said they were closed yesterday. Hopefully it’s just visual damage. The bumper popped off a bit, but I don’t know if it can just be popped back into place. I know nothing about cars. Other persons was much worse, but no one was hurt at least. I wish I was hurt. Just kill me. Be done with it all.

Work is never ending stress, this fucking house is too. AND I JUST REMEMBERED IM ON-CALL ALL THIS WEEK FFS. Please let it be quiet. I’m begging you. With all the SDE’s and ongoing stuff, don’t let there be anything for me. Slit my throat.

2/20 Wednesday 2:04pm

Sitting at a car body repair shop getting an estimate by Statefarm. Hopefully should be fine. Work is stressing me out. House is too. I’m responsible for getting the WebLogic patching done, but it’s all up to Srini looking at the problem servers. It’s not fair to him as I’m sure he’s swamped, but he’s the only one who can fix it. Also that one guy who sent that needs to go fuck himself. Passive aggressive fuck. Then with the house. They finally responded saying they want their roofer to take a look, which is fine. Just don’t come back and argue you’re not doing anything. I’m so done with that shit. Just offer to pay half and be done with it. Then my mental health is just terrible. Want to hurt myself. When I get home may take a butter knife or something and hurt myself. Cut my throat. Not even going into the office tomorrow even though I said I would. Fuck Friday. Please be a quiet oncall week. I’m beginning you, just like I do ever time I’m oncall. It’s pathetic. Wish I had cancer instead of Tom. Let me die instead of him. Mom needs him. Just let me die.

It’s Wednesday. Need to make it through the weekend. “Work day” just tomorrow. Have other work to do, but I’m not as worried about the after hour work for IE9 IE11 and office 2010 SP2. Slit my throat slit my throat

[survivor-ingary]

Episode 2 - "I DON'T WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE" - Ellie

At the tribal, Ping was voted out of the Pendragon Tribe nearly unamimously. Tribal immunity for this round is Pictionary.

I bet all these bitches know i voted for Keith and now they are going to come kill me in my sleep if i die i blame dylan

yass round 2 i either think im in the best position on this tribe or theyre all secretly coming for me thats all

Tribal went as well as I expected it to go. No major drama. It seems like Keith is in real trouble if we do go to tribal again though which would put me in a very tricky spot. For now, though, I will be trying my best in the upcoming challenge. The problem is, however, timezones and schedules. Jon is going to be our drawer, but he can only do it tonight or in the early afternoon tomorrow which I will not be there for. Additionally, Keith is asleep so we have no idea what his schedule is going to be so we basically had to schedule the challenge without him. And Nya could only do right before the deadline tomorrow which Jon cannot do. I hate this for us, truly. I just hope that Moth and I can rub our brain cells together for this one so that we can pull out a win. OR somehow the other tribes fail horribly. On the bright side, I am finally starting to catch up on Duolingo exercises. They're a lot easier than I thought, but it is still going to be tedious af to save up enough coins for some of the higher end products at the shop. As a final note, I am going to work with Nya in the long term as we promised each other to. Hopefully that actually works out. Time to actually be loyal and be a hero this time around. Need to try something different.

If we lose this challenge, I will be very upset. We went so hard on this challenge!!! I believe that we can at least get second place, but I don't know how crazy the other tribes are. So, let's see what goes on

Ayyyyy soooooooo looks like the four, Colin, me, Ava, and Brayden are officially in an alliance!? I’m really hyped to be working with everybody and already have sights on who should go if we have to go to tribal 👀 but like I’m gonna feel so bad if we go to tribal and I orchestrate a whole plan to take someone out I gotta do it when I’m not in my feels and the planets aren’t fucking with my emotions too heavy. But go alliance ! This means I’ll be able to stay safe until hopefully a merge and hopefully we can avoid a tribe swap till then which I get those vibe from it !! But I’ll be here to survive two more tribals just in case which is pretty rad. Other then that hopefully me offering to draw doesn’t end us up in the bottom and we can keep killing ! But anyways that is it as off know hopefully I have a lot more coins tomorrow morning and I get hit the hat shop bright and motherfucking early.

Just got asked to be apart of an alliance <33333 the besties in the group trust me which maybe ain't the right move but for now we gotta love the bonding. exciting!!!

YAY FOR ROUND 2! Okay, so I meet once again with the Hat Shop and... third times the charm! Except,,, the charm is getting nothing AGAIN lmao I'm not complaining though, still got that extra vote :P I stayed up at 1 AM for this challenge, and I honestly think our team popped off. Anastasia was guessing a ton, and Riley was amazing at drawing real quick! I have a relatively good feeling about our performance, so I hope I wake up to the news of our tribe being immune :D

so yesterday I set myself on a mission to get an alliance. I wanted Ava + Brayden + Toph + me as a majority alliance. it was our day off from tribal so I thought it was the perfect day to do it!! I talked to Brayden about it first because he's the person I feel the most comfortable with, and then after a lot of coordination and careful communication I was able to pull it together!! I think the most important thing when making alliances is making everyone feel like they're a big part in it. So I was careful to ask each person how they feel about the others, about the game, and made a point to say that I wanted to work with them specifically. Some may call that a little manipulative, but I wanna make sure that I'm an essential part of the alliance!! i need everyone to feel like they need/want me there.

all of this happening so soon into the game is a testament to how aggressive I'm playing this time around. I usually like to lay low and just rely solely on my social game in the start, but I'm trying this out to establish myself early on! I wanted to play the tribe leader and I think I'm doing that in a smart and subtle way!!

so yes now we have a 4 person majority alliance named "duolingo owl hate club" because fuck that guy. I think we're the 4 most active and present people on the tribe so it's only natural for us to work together, but I think it's definitely worth noting that I was the one that was pulling the strings here.

We just did the pictionary challenge, I have a good feeling about it!! Toph was an amazing artist, and if we win, all credit rightfully goes to him!! I think the guessers also did great of course, but like come on, the artist has to be the mvp. I'm really hoping we pull through!! I don't mind going to tribal, but I genuinely don't wanna vote anyone out yet. I'm fine just playing the game in a precautionary way. I know I'm in a great position if we do go to tribal, but it's always preferred that we don't go.

Everyone else on my tribe: doing the challenge and kicking ass

Me: I’m sleep

Riley (Tumblr has once again chosen violence so only the first 10 get banners 🥲)

I think our challenge went pretty well! My team were good guessers. Feeling like I've established some Integrity now. Hope it keeps me safe later!

Toph Soooooo we finished the challenge with 32 points and like wig !! I was a quick as drawer for 32pts expect when my internet lagged, but still ! I think we whooped some ass and if we do go to tribal I know it won’t be me going, thanks to Duolingo owl hate club but I’m also worried same could have and advantage because they seem pretty kean on learning a lot in like 3 hours and then tried to cover that statement to not seem so threatening but like babs s a huge threat too apparently they love Duolingo and know 5 laugnes ? This is from brayden but If so go babs ! That’s absolutely iconic for real Life but fucking scary in this game ! I gotta be buddy buddy with them so hopefully if they do have something it won’t be them going home first and it will be Ava. But I’m thinking we might get second place again unless someone is a fucking wizard at this.

Dennis hmm i think we did well enough in the challenge to not see tribal tomorrow but who knows i guess we shall find out tn

the way ellie was so on top of stuff yesterday only to oversleep the challenge makes me giggle maybe shes freaking out about it which makes me also giggle but i dont think its really a big deal

anastasia asked me to call yesterday and i was like sure lets talk but it is damn near impossible to hold a conversation with her idk i tried BUT she did tell me “yeah i just got off a call with ellie” im like i see. she says shes down to work with ellie but that quickly switched from ellie being ~experienced~ but good to know ellie is also playing hard. anastasia also mentioned that she talks to riley a fair amount who i still have yet to connect to well. but dat makes me think ellie is def talking to riley too miss debate team is definitely a talker. but good on her for the social game i guess

kenneth keeps being like haha we’re the same person and im like yeah👁 i bet we are👁

i just wanna win and not think about tribal just keep it slow and chill for now keep learnin my welsh i guess

Ava Second challenge was Pictionary and I had a ton of fun playing. The tea is: toph did a great job. He was pretty vocal about not being a great artist but really I think he did great. However, Babs was super inactive yesterday and ~too late~ said they were a great artist and should've been picked to draw. It was kind of like.... k babs thanks for the belated "help". They did do great guessing which scored a point in my book. Brayden was supposed to play but last minute logged off without saying anything so we did the challenge without him :/ sorta a bummer. Anyway the lack of participation from Sam is kind of popping off so we'll see where that leads them... Overall a fun game and fingers crossed we did well!

Moth I think we did okay at the challenge. Today I am dying from the heatwave so I’m not thinking too straight! Stay cool everyone

Ellie So yesterday Anastasia and I called for about an hour!!! I’d say we’re definitely way closer, she’s someone I really wanna work with although the idea of her and Brayden eventually being on the same tribe is kinda scary cause I know how close they are. Still she’s so fun to talk to and I just love her energy so much!

Pictionary challenge results: Jenkins Tribe wins with Penadragon second, Hatter Tribe has to go to tribal council on the following day.

Ava Well well well seems our bob ross, toph, didn't pull through (y'all think babs would've pulled it out for us or slept through our challenge like they said they almost did?) I can't wait for tribal. I'm in it for the drama. I'm hashtag voting Sam off - didn't even bother to be apart of our challenge and not too sure they've even been online for a full 24 hours. Weed out the weak.....

Anastasia

Brayden https://imgur.com/n60Lz0c

guys i dont know what to do someone help me out

Dennis i hope damn brayden gets the boot

Raffy Woo! We don't have to go to tribal again! We stan!

Ellie So I figured I’d go idol hunting today cause the shop was about to close and I just wanted to see what had been bought and what possible hats there were, I see that there’s a hat I have enough for that hasn’t been bought and I decide fuck it let’s get it

APPARENTLY ITS SOMETHING THAT IM NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS OR HOW TO USE IT YET???? THEY SAID ILL FIND OUT ABOUT IT LATER

I DONT WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE

Sam Well you see. I like all my tribe people. And I think we did real good on that music video! So, I think rather than voting anyone else off, I think I should just vote myself off if that is possible! Ahhh

Babs So sad to see Sam not only go but go through what they're going through :( same w Toph :( they all seem so lovely

Keith Not sure if i submitted a confession after the last tribal. But if I didnt here it is.

Happy I made it out of that tribal. I had raffy backing me with whom I played. Last time we played. We were at odds. We didnt work together but whats worse that we were against each other. It was either him or me goin out. Hopefully thats the past n we can work together. I jus need to keep things calm n show that Im not here itching to make big moves. So they dont feel threatened by me. N its easy cause right now. I havnt made that kind og bond with anyone on my tribe. To even think of such moves. Lets see what round two holds for me.

Colin so uh

we lost! :(

I was really bummed tbh. Like I thought we did well but circumstances with the challenge were just really unfortunate, from conflict about who wanted to be the artist to people disappearing the moment the challenge started, I think we did well despite all of that. Except we did kinda get stomped anyway. Oh well!! The game moves on. Tribal has to happen.

Initially I was gonna push for Babs, just because I feel like I don't wanna attach myself to them too early on. I've seen how much of a bitter player they can be, and lets just say I'm not the most loyal ally to have. however! 9 minutes after we lost, Ava announces to our alliance that she's voting Sam. I wasn't surprised, Sam has been the one not really pulling their weight. But I had some good connections with her!! we both did colorguard and shes so sweet and easy to talk to. I was really conflicted for a little bit, debating on whether or not to actually push for Babs. I think brayden sensed my hesitance but we both knew there was nothing really I could do to stop Sam from being the vote. At first tribal, the initial name always spreads like wildfire.

However, my mess was stopped abruptly by Sam asking to be voted out. welp!! okay then!! babs stays i guess!! i'm not too bothered. I'll never turn down an easy vote hehe.

Pretty sure there's a swap tonight. I'm kinda scared of that

uwu

Brayden

i almost forgot to upload this but dont worry i just remembered

Colin screams

Toph So we’re going to tribal in 20 and all I have to say right now is if there is a tribe swap after I’m gonna so scared but I ducking called I had a vibe and it was right that’s what is gonna win me this game trusting my intuition. I’m holding on now and gonna be the biggest comp beast next challenge in case I get fucked on this swap !!!! Or at least if it is a swap 🤔

Riley I don't know what this announcement's gonna be I'm worriedddd... Ginny said it probably means we're swapping teams but I don't wannaaaa I like our team.

Toph Sam self sacrificing made this the easiest vote ever and me being safe is a plus I guess 😎

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 11

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 301: Up at 1pm after a good few bevvies last night. usual Saturday stuff but my walk was astop/start affair due to yet more flooding. 

Facebook today informed me that Karen Wyles died suddenly. It really shocked me. I saw Guy and Gail while out walking (nice to bump into them and chat) and they told me it was a heart attack! I sent K a WhatsApp just in case she’d not heard. I put a few words on FB. I had known Karen for a long time and, while I took the piss a lot, she was a friend (that I often didn’t deserve) and a good person....I felt a responsibility to say something nice as a small homage.

During the week I ordered new boots (since my Merrells are fucked after only  few months but I am getting my money back) and, today, I also ordered McKenzie Attwood trainers (£20 cheap as fuck from JD Sports sale), slippers and jogging bottoms from Amazon. 

Now I am going to have pizza, drink, smoke and watch The Equalizer 2 (for the umpteenth time - I watched the first one last night). I could watch Tenet - Miles has given me his Amazon login details, which is pretty fucking cool of him, but I’m not in the mood.

Posh beat MK 3-0 at home. I fucking love beating them. It’s extremely satisfying.

Right, it’s Saturday, it’s nearly 9pm, time I got on it.

Day 302: Not the most mental night last night but still 4am-ish when I went to bed, so I am very pleased to type that I was up before my alarm this morning. But, also, as I type, at gone 10pm, I am fucking knackered. Just about to tuck into spicy-as-fuck sauasage casserole, wtach MotD2 and then bed!

Day 303: Slippers arrived today but they’re going back. Too tight in the left foot. I’m not wearing slippers in FFS!

Day 304: New trainers (McKenzie Attwoods) arrived. Now, this footwear I shall keep. £20, bargain.

Posh came from a goal down to beat Charlton at home 2-1. Nice.

I made some veg soup today and, quite frankly, it’s fucking stupidly chilli-fied. Barely edible.

Day 305: New trainers are sweet - wore them for my morning exercise routine. Pretty comfy - after a few wears, they’ll be ace, I think.

Got served notice on the house on Monday (why I didn’t enter that on day 303, I do not know). Lynda, from Woodfords, says a semi-detached place in Havelock Cottages is coming up that looks promising. I contacted Emily at Aspire today, there’s a two bed terrace in Basset Place coming up so i am looking at that on Monday. Choice of 2 I do hope! First is £700 pm, second £725.

Day 306: Flipping frustrating “nothing works” day at work, It’s been like it all year so far. Tbf, Sueanne gets it and is quite supportive, even though she dives in when I’ve been dealing with problems that drag on! It’s Thursday, I can’t wait for tomorrow and, I am all to aware, I am wishing what little life I have left away.

Spoke with dad, he had his first vaccination jab on Tuesday in Spalding - he said it was a very efficient process (he was full of praise) and that the jab itself was no bother, with no after effects apart from a slightly sore arm. Excellent!

Day 307: Not even one beer (Saporro) in, and I feel wasted. A toke has helped.

Day 308: New Scarpa boots arrived today and, while they will need some wearing in, I did the stair climb and a 45min walk in them. I think they are going to be ace. Just as well as the Merrells are falling apart.

I have decided to listen to the Rush back catalogue, 2112 (4th) is playing as I type. It’s been a trip down memory lane and a bloody good one!

I had a few beers last night, as yesterday’s entry confirms, which included a video catch up with Fog, Ham and Andy P. Gonna chat with Fog later tonight as well.

I watched King of Statten Island last night. I liked it but, in some parts, it was smultzy as hell, rendering it a 6/10. Later, I’m watching Outside the Wire and eating pizza. Can’t wait!

I reset my mobile yesterday ‘cos it’s been playing up. What a fucking ball ache, logging on to all the different apps, all the little settings you get so used to, only to miss them when set back to defaults. Things like the camera settings - photo size and watermark....ooooh, just realised, ‘first world problems’! Get a grip, Tim!

Day 309: SNOW! Thick and crisp and uneven. I walked 11.9km in it today and it fucking well knackered me out. The old Merrells held their own in the snow as well, totally waterproof and, for such a light boot, remarkably warm. I will actually be sorry to see them go.

Danny sent me a link to a free week’s worth of receipes from Hello Fresh (he’s nuts for it) so I and ordered one, worth nearly £40! 

Posh won away from home yesterday at Ipswich. Now, get this: the stats on the BBC’s report showed Posh had no shots on target but still won 0-1. How, might one ask? Own goal, that’s how. Piss funny!

Day 310: I am aching today. Walking in the snow yesterday certainly exercised different muscles than walking in mud. And, today, I walked less than normal, usual lunchtime but only 4km (instead of 8) in the evening. 

‘Cos of the snow, the woman from Aspire cried off showing me around 3 Bassett Place. At first I was well pissed off but, looking at the roads and traffic situation around Oundle, it was the right decision (she’d have had to get here from Nassington - a bit treacherous),

It’s just gone 8pm. I am going to eat and go to bed. It’s too fucking cold even with the heating on!

Day 311: Rearranged the viewing of Bassett Place tomorrow - I rang them ‘cos I saw it advertised on Facebook, FFS! My walk tonight was mad...melting snow, rain/sleet, ice made for fucking hard work. Plus, since I am wearing in the new Scarpas, I wore the Merrells. The right boot is now, most definitely not waterproof! Got home about 8pm, changed bed sheets, showered and made diner...bloody knackered. It’s now 11pm and I am off to beddy byes.

Day 312: Viewed Bassett Place and I really like it. It is advertised at £750pm but Emily (from Aspire) said it was £725. Sarah, who showed me round said there may be some leeway for the right tenant so i’ve asked if it could be done for £700. If so, I’ll take it. It’s a large two bed mid terrace, bigger than here (36, East Road), similar type place, just what I want. Fingers crossed.

Day 313: Having slept on it, I do believe I definitely want 3 Bassett Place. I phone Sarah at Apsire to say as much. She told me she’d forwarded my details and offer to the landlord and is waiting to hear. As yesterday, fingers crossed.

I couldn’t take the pic of the field for the Morning Walk album, too flooded due to melting snow. On that note, my new boots are getting worn in both by wear and by superficial looks, it’s that filthy out there. I need to clean them. I wonder that, if I’d cleaned the Merrells, they might have lasted a bit longer. That being said, no amount of cleaning would have save the soles from wearing as thin as quickly as they did.

Day 314: Typing on Day 315. I didn’t get Bassett Place, the landlord gave it to a couple who offerred full asking price. To say I was fucked off is an understatement. I phoned Emily to let her know as much. Tbf, she explained that the snow (delaying my original viewing) wasn’t her fault and that she is at the mercy of the landlord. Fair enough, when I heard her POV. But, I am still gutted. I should have gone for the full £750!

Glad the working week is over (I am really wishing my life away so far this year).

Long walk to Cotterstock - amazing light behind the clouds with a wolf moon (which I just looked up - full moon, basically) - I just wish I was a bit better at night photography, or at least the camera on the Mi9 was. However, once I tweak them a bit and post them, the feed back is usually good. In fact, I posted one on the move last night and someone on FB has asked if they can paint it!

Meatballs for tea and beers.

I have decided, when the year of this log is up, that I’ll end it (the diary, not my life, though that dark thought is never far away!). I have reached this decision because, while this diary is really only for me, it is as boring as fuck, really. I’ll continue to write a log but randomly, when the day’s events warrant it. It’ll be on the main Tumblr.

Day 315: Typing this on day 316. Up at 1pm-ish. Morning exercise routine, long walk curtailed by flooding (again!) more beers, smokes and trash food. Posh lost 2-0 away to Shrewsbury (a bit of a bogey team).

Day 316: Up at 1pm yet again. I really didn't feel like any exercise but I did the usual regardless. Google Fit isn’t fucking working!

I have got to start stopping these ridiculously late Friday and Saturday nights. My weekend is over before it’s begun. This coming Friday, I am not going to do the really long walk in the evening that i have become accustomed to - just a 8km one that I do most evening, and then start drinking earlier so as to go to bed early. If I can get out of bed in the Saturday morning, perhaps do a couple of long walks so as to get the weekly steps up.

Day 317: My left foot, during my lunchtime walk, killed. I must have sopped and undone & redone my laces 6 times. Dunno wtf is going on with the Scarpas. I wore my Merrells for the evening walk. I tried to got to Cotterstock but it was too flooded on the road just before the bridge!

Ordered new joggers, a boot brush and some new wireless earbuds (Mifo 05 plus Gen 2 - bought them off eBay -I hope they are the real deal, it’s the very latest spec and £74.99 instead of £89.99 from the Mifo website).

Day 318: I went shopping at 10.15pm mainly for pizza and party food since I have booked Monday off because it’s the Superbowl (Tampa vs Kansas) and booze! No fucking Sapporo. It was eerie shopping that late at the superstore in Corby. Boots still hurting (Merrells in the evening). Day 319: New ear buds arrived. Well impressed. So did the boot brush (BootBuddy) - on that note, boots weren’t so bad at lunchtime. I didn’t wear them in the evening but I think it’s just a ‘wearing them in’ thing, hopefully.

Day 320: Hello Fresh delivery day. I had pork and chipotle black bean tacos with pickled red onion, chipotle tomatoes and lettuce. It’s a good set up, decent ingredients and nice recipe sheets...but I don't need it, I’m good enough in the kitchen. And, I am no fan of minced pork. I am not being a fair judge though. Today, my sugars have been all over the place over 21 and under 2 mmol/L. I nearly fell asleep trying to recover from a low before my evening walk. When I got back (soaked - it was pissing down), I was over 21 by the time I had cooked it all....puts me off actually eating, even though I have to! Rang Barry Haddon today, to see how he is. I think he’s OK but, strangely, told me, during conversation, that he’s 77 years old. I don't think so! I also texted Posh Dave. I think he’s struggling being on his own (he lost mum and dad last year, I think). I must make more contact with him. I might call him over the weekend.

Day 321: Typing on Day 322 (well, 1am on day 323 actually). It was nice finishing work knowing I have Monday off. I also din’t do an extra long walk this evening as with most Fridays. Cooked the send Hello fresk meal, Mango chicken tacos -diced chicken thighs - it was alright. Rog video called so had a good chat with him and I invited Foggy to it (he was at his cousin John’s funeral today), so the three of us chewed the cud for a bit. I then went onto get fucking shitfaced. I couldn’t make it to bed with low sugars, lying on the runner rug, fell asleep, got up and could only make it top the living room rug..I felt so dodgy but I was too fucked and too full to even take more than a swig of coke. I think I’m going to fall asleep one drunken night, slip into a coma and then die. I can think of worse ways to go. Day 322: Typing  very late, it’s actually Sunday morning, 1.07am. I got out of bed at gone 2.30pm today. I managed my morning routine and a 8km walk (in the Scarpas, they are getting more comfortable since my episode of pain a few days ago; definitely a wearing in process). No booze after last night’s debacle. I am going to hit it during the Superbowl tomorrow though. The Hello fresh meal tonight was pasta chicken bake with pepper and courgette. Fucking lovely and I coudln’t eat it all. I’ve lerant that adding creme fresh to pasta, whacking it on top of meat and sauce on a casserole bowl and baking it for 15 minutes is the way to go. I watched The Dig tonight. It’s a good film but fucking glum. Posh won at home to Crewe today, 2-0. They are now 4th. Day 323:Bright as a button today, up at around 11:00am despite switch in the bedroom light off at just before 3am. Today’s walk was fucking hard work. It’s wintry, the wind was keen, strong and full of icy particles just not quite sleet. The fields between Park Wood and Monson Way were bloody tough. One wrong foot and you’d slip over. I did about 10 km; it took over 2 hours and felt like twice the distance.  I’ve just eaten Hello Fresk teryaki mince. It was good. One beer in, a film (probably One Night in Miami) and then Superbowl time. Day 324: The Superbowl was good. Tampa beat Kansas 31-9. The second half was a damp squib since Kansas never made a go of it. Tom Brady won his 7th ring. He is to American football what Federer is to tennis. The Weeknd half time show was excellent. So, it was about 4am I went to bed, nicely pissed. Up at just after 1pm. Exercise, omelette, long walk, done some washing. About to make the last Hello Fresh meal and watch One Night in Miami which I didn’t manage last night.   Richard sent me a message (screen shot of a) house up for shared ownership in Oundle (Sharmann & Quinney) - I need to look into what that is all about.

Day 325: Shared ownership isn’t straightforward and, actually, I have discovered that I need to look at something call ‘older persons shared ownership’ when I hit 55. Jon at work wants me to get involved in two additional pieces of work, he told me at the SUMO today (Sueanne is off) - he did say that “that’s what happens if you have a day off! Finished the last of the Hello Fresh (last night’s sausage bolognese including homemade garlic bread using a Tiger loaf from Co-Op which was reduced to 28p. I didn’t watch One Night in Miami last night. Shock. Day 326: I spoke with Lynda from Woodfords yesterday, viewing 13 Havelock Cottages tomorrow. Also, yesterday, Posh beat Ipswich 2-1 at home. They came from behind. Ipswich have never beaten Posh away. Simon Banwell posted on FB berating some new legislation whereby potentially people who travel and lie about it (the destination) are liable for 10 years in prison. His gripe is people get less for murder. I am beyond words...the potential for mass deaths of such actions! I tried to argue that case but it is, as always on social media, flogging a dead horse. Rachel Harris jumped on Simon’s bandwagon whereas Tim Francis posted a ‘well said’ to me (I think it’s genuine). Day 327: Carrying on directly from above; Candice Bellingsea, Rachel’s niece, Carla’s daughter, was also ‘vocal’ in defence of Simon’s post, joining in with the clamour for relaxation of lockdown (at the expense of safety) - citing more people commit suicide because of the mental pressure than die of covid. Well, today, I investigated and posted a FB status to poo-poo such claims. It felt good (and right) to address Candice’s ridiculous post albeit, I didn’t call her out directly but did have part of her comment on Simon’s post directly quoted in my status. I went to see 13 Havelock today. It’s OK. Not perfect but more than alright. When I left there I was very much in two minds but now, at 10:30pm, the place is growing on me. Still part of me thinks to hold out - I have got around 5 month’s notice left - but, if I let it go (and Lynda from Woodford’s has already said the landlord is happy for me to move in), I might regret it. I keep thinking of 3 Bassett Place though...if only I had said yes to £750 straightaway. That place would be perfect, I reckon. One major concern with 13 is the neighbours. There’s no way I could have my usual Friday and Saturday night revelry. But...I’ll sleep on it. I have only just finished doing some work - pissing about with Smartview Essbase (with Simon Welch’s help - he’s a bloody good bloke - no need to be so helpful, but he’s more than happy to be) - I sent him a Teams message to arrange a catch up tomorrow with some questions I have regarding the installation - he only bloody answered - working as late as I am! I have managed to watch some of One Night in Miami. Going to finish it now with a dirty, microwave hamburger for tea.

Day 328: Typing on day 329. Usual Friday but not so mad in the evening. One Night in Miami was good. For Friday’s viewing I chose Greenland. Not so good. Only 4 beers and two spliffs. I’m getting old! Day329: Up at 1pm, usual exercise including a long old walk. It included walking along the river (Oundle Mill bridge to the marina) for the fist time this year. The floods are in evidence but, obviously, receded enough to get through - that, or the resulting water, mud and boginess is frozen. I really enjoyed it today but it was freezing - the wind was evil at certain points. Tea’s on the go, beer in hand and I am going to watch War Dogs.  Posh’s game was off today due to a frozen pitch. Day 330: Typing on day 331. It wasn’t a mad Saturday night but mad enough to not be up until gone midday. Another nice long walk, Walk and eat is all I really do nowadays. I can’t even muster any enthusiasm to do housework since I am going to be out of here soon. I called Posh Dave in the evening. It was good to chat and I think he appreciated the call. He’s on his own and struggling, I get the impression. He told me both Matt Baxter (bowel) and Adi Mowles (neck) are undergoing treatment for cancer.

[ts-seychelles]

EP. 12 - “Oh How The Tides Have Turned” - REGAN

https://youtu.be/87W1CYDauwc

Honestly that tribal council last night could've gone better, but I think that may have been the best outcome we could've seen.. What last night really shows is that my "side" won the battle, and now those who remain from the other side Jared/Nicole/Asya are kinda scrambling to integrate themselves.. Jared is definitely someone I know our side thinks we can trust, and he's doing a great job at integrating himself within the group for sure As of now, I've been thinking about it more and more, and Jared telling me that Dan was REALLY thinking about getting out Augusto, and what Dan was saying in the process, makes me really think that I can't trust Dan anymore.. He's playing Jared really hard to try to make sure that Dan can have Jared and Nicole on his side when our group splits, and I'm not liking it too much The thing that disappoints me is that I really trusted Dan 100%, and if I didn't hear that he was doing this, I probably would've still stuck with him EVEN AFTER he voted for me at the f11 tribal council.. Now what I've gotta do is play the field a little more. Nicole told me she lost her vote at ghost island, and I'm not sure how many people are going to know that's a fact or not, but I'm glad that I know she can't vote, really meaning the only person's vote I'd actually be concerned for is Asya.. By working with Roxy, Regan, Augusto, and Jared, to take out Dan, I think we can efficiently pull off a blindside on him and send him to jury, freeing up Vilma, Asya and Nicole, bc tbh, Dan has remarkable relationships with all three, and it's almost becoming too little too late before Dan becomes too powerful in the game I know i'm not necessarily out of hot water yet, especially because I know certain people would salvate at the thought of taking me out, but I've just gotta keep playing it cool, and not make it too known that Dan is probably my next target.. Kinda disappointing the way things ended with Alex and I, but he gave me 0 effort after he voted for me, and I'm not really going to do the same for him after he made a f2 with me, tried to convince me to not play my idol at tribal, and then being the one that was mad at me after tribal, because I asked him to vote for nicole before tribal, when I was actually voting for Ricky.. Shame shame shame Mr. Crooks. Shame shame

OMG this is perfect Roxy just told Regan wants a F3 with us And like THATS WHAT I SAID MY IDEAL F3 WAS I'm all for it Alternative contenders would be Dan and Nicole But I wouldn't feel comfortable going to the end with anyone else really I want to get rid of one of Jared / Johnny asap I know they're close plus they're way too unpredictable I don't like unpredictable players I want to be able to predict where everyone's loyalties lie

I forgot to add this into my last confessional, but Jared and I just promised each other f3, and I don't intend on going back on that.. I know that I am going to try my hardest to get to the end at this point, by any means necessary. It's single digits now, and i'm ready to start being a little ballsier with my moves. Bring it on bb and let's see how deep I can get being crazy heehee

So jared and johnny told me to play my idol last round So I did And i wasted it But vilma got the idol clue AND BAM i told her to search where I thought it wasnt so I could get the idol and I did. I wanted the control. But if vilma gets votes I'll use it on her. I trust her 100% because she has yet to lie to me. And also because I think I can beat her. This time no one but her knows. I had to tell her or else it wouldn't be fair. oh how the tides have turned. We are iconic

these people suck, i miss ricky and alex 

https://goo.gl/images/HZwhVx

(A LITTLE LATER)

https://goo.gl/images/kDMJVb

somebody please send this to jared i think he’s confused.

So I have a lot to catch y’all up on so get your tea cups! Asya and I talked last night and formed a super close alliance and somehow we ended up being the swings for tonight so that’s exciting! Also I’m glad I won immunity tbh! Anyway, the vote is between Nicole and Jared for sure but there was a group made to see who should go first and the consensus there was Jared. However, there are pros to Nicole leaving as well. So far it’s 3 votes for Jared, 1 for Nicole, 1 for Dan with Asya/myself/Roxy deciding how it goes. ps, Nicole lost her vote at Ghost so that’s dope. I was also told by Regan that she found another idol but she told Vilma I have a double vote so yikes gjdngnfnf anyway gl noms

(SIGH)

I know this ain’t that deep but ngl, I am the swing vote this round and a reason that I didn’t want to make the smarter move in my eyes is because I didn’t want it to affect my relationship with Regan who is someone I value a lot in this game but then I had to realize that the reason I’ve left so many times and left early for that matter is because I valued other people over myself and honestly, my time is now and I need to be selfish since that is the business I need to finish. I need to learn to stand by ground a bit more because I feel like I’m doing well in this game and if I want to win, I need to be a bit more assertive and all about me. 

16.39 Why's everyone sleeping on the fact that Jared and Johnny never wanna eliminate each other It's pretty clear that they're protecting each other But nobody wants to vote Jared or Johnny out with me ughhhhh Everyone thinks it's too early I'm more concerned they will somehow slide to the end And then we all just lose against them I guess I'm not as scared to make moves because there's two idols that are on my good side but idk It's hard! 19.02 Phew okay Regan wants Jared too 20.14 I mean I understand feeling reluctant to take out the big threats but we're about to enter f8 and and if over half the people in f8 are people I think I have absolutely no chance at beating then that doesn't look too good for me If I was one of the big threats I'd want to keep a shield in as well But I'm not, and I definitely don't need 934873 shields I need to start getting rid of the big dogs 20.48 I'm actually not 100% sure whether it would be smarter to take out Jared / Nicole now but I find Jared so much more intimidating My only concern is Asya/Nicole/Dan/Johnny/someone somehow coming together if we take out Jared now. But I think it would be semi easy to convince people to vote out Johnny even if that group tried to take the control. Plus I know Roxy is pretty determined to get rid of Dan. I hope I'll be able to slide through even if we take out Jared now. It's just that I'm not very close to Nicole at all so I don't know if she has other connections besides Jared, Dan and Asya. 2.14 I still think we're gonna go after Jared tonight but there's been a bit of messiness going on and you never know what's gonna happen during these two hours before tribal so we shall see. OH I think I forgot to tell but I got the idol clue with my mani-pedi and shared an altered version of it with practically everyone (ok not really but almost) but I soon realized I didn't alter it quite enough. I got lucky none of the guys found it though, because I definitely didn't want any of them to get that power. BUT Regan found it instead and she's at least convincing me she would use it to protect me too if needed, but I'm not absolutely convinced of that yet. I'm pretty content with her having it though, because I think we have similar interests going forward in the game and I wouldn't mind going all the way with her. Plus two idols in my possession would have felt like a bit too much hahaha. I don't deserve that much luck, I already got saved from death thanks to a host influencing a pre merge tribal for fucks sake.

Another round of me sucking at confessionals, so i'll give the long story short 1. regan made a chat with the five people on our side, excluding myself, to talk about the pros and cons of getting out jared vs nicole, bc regan thinks i cant be trust and im going to run everything to jared? okay cool 2. After me spending the entire day to help jared and nicole, jared further sinks himself by telling dan that he wants to go for me or regan, and then he's telling me that he wants to go for dan, and he's trying too fucking hard to deflect attention off of himself, which is such a mood 3. This group of five decided that jared has to go 4. Regan is lying straight to my face, when I've told her I'd be flexible with the vote and do what our group wanted to do, but regan wants to be EXTRA instead and lie to me...... im watching you sissy 4. Augusto had this plan to get me him roxy asya (tbh i had the same idea, but it came out of his mouth, he can get the credit) to not vote out jared, but instead vote out nicole bc nicole is less threatening, thus more detrimental to our long term games since we feel like we have no chance at having nicole's support, when nicole is more likely going to work with dan or regan instead of myself augusto or roxy, and if jared continues down this path, he's likely going to shoot himself in the foot AGAIN in a future round, so this isn't an awful idea, and I hope it works.. If this works, another big round for ol man johnny man and it helps me position myself better within the tribe. bring it on :)

This round is exactly why someone with a panic disorder should NOT PLAY TUMBLR SURVIVOR. I literally feel like I'm going to puke this round. I'm thinking the vote is gonna be 6-3 tonight against Jared, but I'm just really unsure. I feel like I'm def getting the 3. I just feel like this game has been a fucking shit show the last few rounds and no one has gotten to see it mainly because people just frantically message in PMs instead of alliance chats, or to the VL. I think this cast is iconic, and honestly if I get sent to jury, I'm literally so proud of the improvement I've made in tumblr survivor. Obviously, I want to win, but so many people left deserve it, so as long as some bump on the log like Roxy or Asya don't win I'm cool as a cucumber :~) I am 10 seconds away from kermitting tho, so see y'all later.

JARED IS SO DUMB Yes i know Johnny is protecting you none of us are that dumb to think otherwise Secondly I have the merge idol. He doesn't stop claiming you have it you ho.

https://youtu.be/8FCoZiUBHHo

[verdigrisprowl]

Apr 17 Dancitron Movie Night - Heaven Can Wait

Everyone in the movie sucked at explaining themselves properly and Prowl hated it. But the employees in the mansion were charming.

NoodlesAtNight 8:29 pm *In a much better mood than last week, Soundwave is already parked in his usual spot with Laserbeak attached to one arm and giving her scritches under the beak. Seats are gathered and snacks are out.* FakeProwl 8:31 pm *appears, and immediately sits with Soundwave. while nobody else is here and they can still talk freely—* How did your meeting go? Fabuest 8:32 pm *tumbles in* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:32 pm :> FakeProwl 8:32 pm *that didn't last long* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:33 pm Bird! :> NoodlesAtNight 8:35 pm @P: (txt): Soundwave: employed. Area: security, surveillance. Probation period. Small nice apartment; necessary supplies, technology; reasonable credits; archive access - limited now, increased later. Fabuest 8:35 pm [[ ... did it not update my name. it ratchet. U TOO ARE SHOWING AS GUEST. ]] NoodlesAtNight 8:36 pm {{It Swoop! Hi Swoop!}} Swoop now has a hat. FakeProwl 8:36 pm ((rabb.it doesn't update the "guest" label inside the chat itself.)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:36 pm Bird! Hi Bird! :> ((The benefits of writing like a toddler. Easy recognition lol)) FakeProwl 8:36 pm ((if you hover over their icon to the left under the screen it'll show their real name, but not in the chat window)) ((which means there are two people who display as "guest" tonight and that's going to make logging the chat a bitch ;;)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:37 pm ((Want us to label ourselves?)) ((Like "Swoop:"?) araneamechanica 8:37 pm (( can they make an account real quick? also hey hey hi, might be lurking ooc, might not, we'll see FakeProwl 8:37 pm ((u don't have to, but it would make my life easier)) ((it's easiest to just make a real quick account tho)) Chillsins 8:39 pm *Is he late enough to be fashionable? No? Oh well.* NoodlesAtNight 8:40 pm *Ravage eyes Windchill. He didn't drag that in.* ((five min to get what you need)) Chillsins 8:41 pm *Windchill is largely oblivious to being eyed.* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:41 pm ((is swup)) NoodlesAtNight 8:41 pm ((yay)) Chillsins 8:42 pm *He's going to sit—yep, you guessed it—somewhere in the back* Chillsins 8:43 pm (( Ehehehe does everyone use their tumblr icons but me? I only just noticed that might be the case.)) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:44 pm Bird. Me Swoop got a thing. *shows off a pic of the pteranodon fossil that tarantulas gave him* NoodlesAtNight 8:44 pm ((it was just so i could spot my own dialogue easier lol)) {{You got bones? Where you getting dead Swoops?}} Chillsins 8:45 pm (( Yeah tbh. I think mine is still pretty obvious, it's just not as dumb looking as my blog icon. )) MedicalMurdersaurus 8:45 pm *the datapad with the pic has been in the dinocave and therefore very near death, someone release this poor thing from its mortal coil, it did nothing to deserve this* Dunno! It show up. It super cool. NoodlesAtNight 8:46 pm *Soundwave shakes his helm. Can Wheeljack not invent a sturdier datapad?* Fabuest 8:46 pm *right well. SOME MINUTES LATER Ratchet finally takes a seat. With Prowl probably.* NoodlesAtNight 8:46 pm ((okiedokie, just waiting on puff to return i think)) *Soundwave nods to Ratchet and Windchill* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:48 pm Cave got lots of bones! That where Dinobots come from. Kehehh. Not come from bones. Autobots find bones and Wheeljack "get ideas." Him Wheeljack get in trouble if him "get TOO MANY ideas," keheheheheh! NoodlesAtNight 8:48 pm {{Him should making bonk-head dinosaur. Us seen them bones. Shockwave got records.}} Fabuest 8:48 pm *small wave, but Ratchet will very much be sitting on the OPPOSITE side of Prowl from Soundwave* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:49 pm FakeProwl Swoop want LOTS of DInobots! But no more until OPTIMUS say okay 😶 Fabuest 8:49 pm *I mean, obviously he wouldn't be sitting between them, but there's. there's definitely a Prowl between Ratchet and Soundwave tonight.* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:49 pm It stinks NoodlesAtNight 8:49 pm {{Meh meh meh. Optimus unfair. Big truck aft.}} MedicalMurdersaurus 8:49 pm Meh meh meh :> NoodlesAtNight 8:50 pm *A huge claw taps Ratchet from the side. Zori would like to say hi.* Fabuest 8:50 pm Hey! Don't talk about him like that. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:50 pm :V Fabuest 8:50 pm It's not so easy to build Dinobots anyway, y'know. Chillsins 8:50 pm *Snickers quietly in the background.* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:50 pm You Ratchet build more Dinobots????? :V Fabuest 8:51 pm Heya, bugbot. How's it goin? NoodlesAtNight 8:51 pm {{Bird not said nothing lie~}} He's big, he's a truck, and he's got an aft. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:51 pm Her Bird know eeeeeverything :> Fabuest 8:51 pm Hmm. Got other projects on the go, kiddo. But it's not off the table. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:52 pm MORE DINOBOTS!!!! :V FakeProwl Swoop tell Grimlock more dinobots NoodlesAtNight 8:52 pm #Ratchet! #you are here! *And he is HUUUUUUGE* #can I sit here? FakeProwl 8:52 pm *there's no one here tonight that Prowl can bounce his holomatter avatar through, so he's just holo without the matter.* NoodlesAtNight 8:52 pm ((About that... lemme buzz you on skype real quick)) FakeProwl 8:53 pm ((o7)) Fabuest 8:53 pm 'Course ya can, buggo. Still big, huh? MedicalMurdersaurus 8:53 pm *This movie as a disturbing lack of dinosaurs so Swup will just lay on the floor and be a Bird perch* Chillsins 8:54 pm A butt... NoodlesAtNight 8:54 pm #yes... *mournful beep* Chillsins 8:55 pm *He's waiting for them to say something else already.* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:56 pm Dinobots play football before It okay Tackling fun keheh NoodlesAtNight 8:56 pm *Zori scrambles up and thunks down next to Ratchet. A good friend spot.* Fabuest 8:57 pm Tell ya what though, you're a lot more pillow shaped now than ya were before. You wanna scoot between me and your boss? I can lean on you. [[ veggies done brb ]] NoodlesAtNight 8:57 pm *He'll HAPPILY do*& Chaoit 8:57 pm -he's late, huh?- NoodlesAtNight 8:57 pm [[Greetings, Blaster. It just started.]] Chaoit 8:58 pm Hello, Soundwave. Not too late, that's good Chillsins 8:58 pm Wow. MedicalMurdersaurus 8:59 pm Talky movie boring. Soundwave and Blaster fight instead :V Chaoit 8:59 pm Looked painful Uh....Swoop. No. NoodlesAtNight 8:59 pm *Tilts his helm* [[This one has done nothing to infuriate him yet.]] Chaoit 8:59 pm Likewise Chillsins 8:59 pm *Sighs. He rather liked Swoop's idea.* MedicalMurdersaurus 8:59 pm FUN fight for friends? NoodlesAtNight 9:00 pm [[...He is not a friend.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:00 pm then FIGHT :V Chillsins 9:00 pm Big surprise, he's running again you guys. Chaoit 9:00 pm Can you guys /not?/ MedicalMurdersaurus 9:01 pm keheehee Chillsins 9:01 pm Oh dear. Chaoit 9:01 pm Oh. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:01 pm dead! Chillsins 9:01 pm A collision. FakeProwl 9:01 pm @Soundwave «... Where would your new apartment happen to be?» *what if they're gonna be in the same facility.* NoodlesAtNight 9:01 pm {{Neheheh. Him only start new graveyard now.}} Chaoit 9:02 pm -he comes here to take a break, not get into fights with the host- MedicalMurdersaurus 9:02 pm Them skip fun part. Us not see CRASH or see MEDIC STUFF. Boring. NoodlesAtNight 9:03 pm {{WHAT medic? Him deeeeeead.}} MedicalMurdersaurus 9:03 pm Them take parts from dead mech NoodlesAtNight 9:03 pm @Prowl: (txt): Address not assigned yet. Soon. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:03 pm Recycle :> Fabuest 9:05 pm *leans on bug* NoodlesAtNight 9:05 pm *claw tip tap. happy bug* FakeProwl 9:05 pm ... Why don't they just tell him he's dead. NoodlesAtNight 9:05 pm [[This one may be about to.]] FakeProwl 9:05 pm Finally. Chaoit 9:05 pm Trying to be nice MedicalMurdersaurus 9:06 pm Him pretty clean for being dead Chillsins 9:06 pm *Snorts.* Chaoit 9:06 pm Wow FakeProwl 9:06 pm There's nothing nice about failing to inform him of his own state of existence. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:06 pm Him human. Human crash goes splat. Him not look like splat. NoodlesAtNight 9:07 pm {{Maybe it inside splat.}} MedicalMurdersaurus 9:07 pm ohhhhh Maybe! Chaoit 9:07 pm HAH FakeProwl 9:07 pm @Soundwave «Well. Congratulations on your new position.» Chaoit 9:07 pm He wasn't supposed to be dead MedicalMurdersaurus 9:07 pm What "escort" mean Chillsins 9:08 pm He might live to regret that decision. Fabuest 9:08 pm [[ 8 years. ]] NoodlesAtNight 9:08 pm @Prowl: (txt): Appreciated. Pleasing. First duties: increased Metroplex, Iacon spread; track, find missing mechs. Simple. FakeProwl 9:08 pm "Escort" means going with someone from one place to another. NoodlesAtNight 9:08 pm @Prowl: (txt): ...Prowl recommendation known. Deep gratitude. FakeProwl 9:09 pm In this case, going with this person from his death site to the afterlife. Chillsins 9:09 pm *Cackles* NoodlesAtNight 9:09 pm *Laserbeak CACKLES* Chillsins 9:09 pm *It's so morbid he LOVES IT* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:10 pm Them stealing bodies? NoodlesAtNight 9:11 pm [[Changing bodies. Trading sparks.]] Chillsins 9:11 pm They're going to take the body of someone else who dies. NoodlesAtNight 9:11 pm [[...Or whatever humans have. If they have anything.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:11 pm Human spark? Him should get BIG BIG body For smashing things Chillsins 9:12 pm He should reincarnate as, like...an elephant. NoodlesAtNight 9:12 pm {{How him play Supered Bowl?}} MedicalMurdersaurus 9:12 pm Elephant pretty cool :> Chillsins 9:12 pm Now that would make for an interesting movie. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:12 pm Him stomp other player!!!! Chillsins 9:12 pm Wow. He still doesn't have a clue. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:12 pm Her have cannon 😮 Her going to fight him :V With cannon NoodlesAtNight 9:13 pm [[Short fight.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:13 pm BOOM! Keheheheheh NoodlesAtNight 9:14 pm ((*whacks puff's internet*)) FakeProwl 9:15 pm @Soundwave «Well. Starscream needs more mechs that aren't complete idiots. Especially ones that know what to do if their boss becomes a tyrant.» MedicalMurdersaurus 9:15 pm Her gonna fight for home Punch him! Burn house down :> Fabuest 9:16 pm *sits up* Sorry, bug, I just got a call. Hafta head out. See you another time, hey? NoodlesAtNight 9:16 pm #awww #okay! *pincer hug?* Fabuest 9:17 pm *heh. pincer hug sounds okay* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:17 pm Everyone in house talk stuffy, dumb Snoody NoodlesAtNight 9:17 pm @P: (txt): Ideal: Starscream not given tyrant becoming chance. {{Them rich. It what them rich doing.}} Fabuest 9:18 pm Night Prowl, night Swoop. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:18 pm What rich doing?? FakeProwl 9:18 pm Evening. Fabuest 9:18 pm *scoots* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:18 pm Night night *has no idea what "rich" even is* pagglesham paddlesam Her talk like blurr :V FakeProwl 9:20 pm *silently mouths "peg-all-sham." ???* NoodlesAtNight 9:20 pm *He's never heard the word either.* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:21 pm Her going to run away really really fast keheheheh Chillsins 9:21 pm *Checks his saved copy of wikipedia.* *It's a location, presumably the one they're disputing.* NoodlesAtNight 9:22 pm *Soundwave huffs. He's enjoying this whole on-screen conversation.* Chillsins 9:22 pm *Paglesham, but he'll keep it to himself.* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:22 pm FIGHT :V aww... Bird, this movie not a fight movie :< Chillsins 9:23 pm *Snorts.* NoodlesAtNight 9:23 pm {{Bird not said it fight movie.}} MedicalMurdersaurus 9:23 pm ???? Why not fight movie??? FakeProwl 9:23 pm They're going to get married by the end and it's going to be annoying. Chillsins 9:23 pm I have to agree, I can smell it on the horizon. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:23 pm Gross :< Chillsins 9:23 pm I hope I'm wrong. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:24 pm Lock in a closet? That sucks PUNCH HIM for closet Chaoit 9:25 pm !!! -startles awake at screaming- MedicalMurdersaurus 9:25 pm Him not good at hitting things Gotta follow through NoodlesAtNight 9:27 pm [[These humans must not be experienced murderers.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:27 pm :V Chillsins 9:27 pm *nods.* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:27 pm No one here. Them should fight :< Chillsins 9:27 pm Why is that table so big. They're so far away from each other. Why even eat off a table when you can eat off of the floor? MedicalMurdersaurus 9:28 pm All the humans look like Prowl FakeProwl 9:28 pm @Soundwave «So. He wants to increase Iacon's spread. Why? We can barely support Metroplex at this point.» NoodlesAtNight 9:28 pm [[...How.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:28 pm black and white FakeProwl 9:28 pm ... *baffled blink* NoodlesAtNight 9:29 pm @Prowl: (txt): Negative, negative. Surveillance spread. Better observation, monitoring. Chillsins 9:29 pm I see no flaw in that argument. FakeProwl 9:29 pm @Soundwave «Ah. More reasonable.» Chillsins 9:29 pm *He's black and white too, but. If he doesn't point it out, maybe nobody will realize.* I like how big her hair is. It's really dumb. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:30 pm Mirror?? NoodlesAtNight 9:30 pm *Soundwave's spines twitch. He really wishes the human would stop playing that.* FakeProwl 9:31 pm *ooh. berth mirror. kinky.* Chillsins 9:31 pm *Raises a lone eyebrow.* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:31 pm Keheh that little helicopter NoodlesAtNight 9:32 pm {{No polo, no sail. What him old body ACTUALLY do?}} MedicalMurdersaurus 9:32 pm Bird, you could kill that helicopter no problem Chillsins 9:32 pm Look at it go. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:32 pm It sucks Chaoit 9:32 pm .... NoodlesAtNight 9:32 pm *She puffs up with pride* {{Bird knocking it out of sky in nanos~}} Chaoit 9:32 pm -right, Blaster maaay be going back to sleep- Chillsins 9:32 pm *He thought the helicopter was cute, but okay then.* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:32 pm *NOT AS CUTE AS BIRD KTHX* FakeProwl 9:33 pm @Soundwave «Well, do keep me up-to-date on anything interesting you pick up.» MedicalMurdersaurus 9:33 pm You Bird great fighter :> Chillsins 9:33 pm *NOT THE POINT* Wow, another massive waste of a table. What an outrage. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:33 pm Maybe them fight on table :> NoodlesAtNight 9:33 pm @Prowl: (txt): That, -never- in question. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:34 pm :V FakeProwl 9:34 pm *twitch of a smirk* Chillsins 9:34 pm I'll define destroy for you. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:34 pm That way better movie Chillsins 9:34 pm *CRACKS KNUCKLES.* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:34 pm Fight California! NoodlesAtNight 9:34 pm *Copies the smirk down. Ho ho.* [[How in Primus' name do you expect them to fight a piece of non-transforming land.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:35 pm Smash stuff Chillsins 9:35 pm *Raises hand.* I would do it. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:35 pm DO IT :V Chillsins 9:35 pm I'll fight anything. FakeProwl 9:35 pm *mumbles* punch the ground. Chillsins 9:35 pm Hey I did that once. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:35 pm PUNCH THE GROUND :d Chillsins 9:35 pm And I won. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:35 pm *:D Chillsins 9:35 pm Ask Whirl. NoodlesAtNight 9:35 pm *Rumble from upstairs* //Punch the ground!// [[Rumble, return to work.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:36 pm ((Go team)) FakeProwl 9:36 pm *shouts upstairs* We're watching a movie. No earthquakes. Chillsins 9:36 pm *Snickers* NoodlesAtNight 9:36 pm //Fiiiiiiine!// Distant laughter MedicalMurdersaurus 9:36 pm Sludge good at stomping Him ONLY good at stomping keheheh .... them fight porpoise? Him get boat. Him fight fish. That good idea. NoodlesAtNight 9:37 pm [[They'll either fire him or think him brilliant.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:38 pm Keheheh Her jumpy jumpy Not so good at killing people 😕 This base pretty big For humans NoodlesAtNight 9:39 pm [[It is a wonder they do not get lost.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:39 pm First lady in closet Now other humans in closet This boring. Them fight outside instead. NoodlesAtNight 9:40 pm [[Closets can have their uses from time to time.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:40 pm Not for DInobots NoodlesAtNight 9:40 pm *Silent ping to Prowl. A bit of humor.* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:40 pm 😛 FakeProwl 9:40 pm ... I'm more interested by the—what is he, a butler? servant? than anyone else. Chillsins 9:41 pm *Squints at Soundwave's comment.* NoodlesAtNight 9:41 pm [[He spent much of the Terrorcon epidemic trapped in one, in fact.]] FakeProwl 9:41 pm *pings back. yes indeed they can.* NoodlesAtNight 9:41 pm [[The butler is amusing. And patient.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:41 pm What terrorcon epidemic? FakeProwl 9:41 pm The butler is handling this so calmly. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:42 pm Epidemic is sick thing NoodlesAtNight 9:42 pm {{Them zombie mechs all over Nemesis. It bad.}} MedicalMurdersaurus 9:42 pm Ohhhh zombies :V NoodlesAtNight 9:42 pm *Soundwave is absolutely not looking at Windchill right now, also.* FakeProwl 9:42 pm *Prowl aspires to that kind of cool impassivity in the face of absolute nonsense* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:42 pm You Bird fight zombies? 😃 NoodlesAtNight 9:43 pm ((ngl the butler's response to literally everything is basically why i went ahead with this film)) FakeProwl 9:43 pm *he's only about 80% there. and the 20% makes all the difference.* *mutters flatly* There it is. NoodlesAtNight 9:43 pm ((between him, the wife, and Mr. Jordan, it was juuuust enough)) [[To be fair, she was angry at a very different human.]] Chillsins 9:44 pm *Blinks* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:44 pm What divorce? FakeProwl 9:44 pm That doesn't mean she has to fall in love with him one day after he becomes a different one. Chillsins 9:45 pm Divorce is when you screw up really bad. NoodlesAtNight 9:45 pm [[Ah. No, it does not. But that is human movie timing.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:45 pm Wheeljack do that all the time keheh Chillsins 9:45 pm *SPITS.* NoodlesAtNight 9:45 pm *Laserbeak rolls over in the air laughing* FakeProwl 9:45 pm Or: they could leave out the romance. Chillsins 9:45 pm *PLEASE let Swoop keep believing that.* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:45 pm *is a comedian???* NoodlesAtNight 9:45 pm [[Also a good idea.]] Chillsins 9:46 pm *Snickers at the staff.* NoodlesAtNight 9:46 pm [[...What hideous decor.]] Chillsins 9:46 pm I love it. FakeProwl 9:46 pm *what considerate servants. adding a second cup for the imaginary person he's talking to.* Chillsins 9:46 pm It makes me want to punch things. NoodlesAtNight 9:46 pm *Soundwave trembles a little.* Chillsins 9:47 pm *Snickers at that comment too.* FakeProwl 9:47 pm *his doors shiver slightly* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:47 pm 😕 Chaoit 9:47 pm -awake now...again- MedicalMurdersaurus 9:47 pm *is too young for this comedy???* Chaoit 9:48 pm ...whatwa....oh the movie NoodlesAtNight 9:48 pm [[A second murder attempt. No need to be alarmed.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:48 pm Him look like wizard Swoosh dress Chillsins 9:49 pm It's too fancy a dress for me. *He knows it's a robe, don't correct him.* NoodlesAtNight 9:49 pm [[It is a lovely color.]] NoodlesAtNight 9:50 pm [[He wonders if this is what your timeline's Necrobot does.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:51 pm Necrobot is zombie? FakeProwl 9:51 pm This story won't convince the trainer. He should have started out by telling the trainer things that only the quarterback would know. NoodlesAtNight 9:52 pm [[He's rather inexperienced with this 'death' thing. Understandably.]] Chillsins 9:52 pm This guy. FakeProwl 9:52 pm He should crack his neck. Chillsins 9:52 pm I can only assume he doesn't imagine death enough to pull this off is all. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:53 pm This dumb. Him want football body. Him steal football body. Him should steal shark body FakeProwl 9:53 pm There. There he goes. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:53 pm That cooler Chillsins 9:53 pm *Has to admit Prowl's idea if probably what will happen* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:53 pm Then him not need boat :> Chaoit 9:53 pm pfff )) MedicalMurdersaurus 9:53 pm Him kill coach and take Him body?? NoodlesAtNight 9:53 pm {{Him coach too old.}} MedicalMurdersaurus 9:53 pm Yah that bad idea NoodlesAtNight 9:54 pm [[A considerate host provides a chair for one's stunned guests to collapse into.]] [[He has at least a dozen and the coach missed them all.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:54 pm Him go kill other football player then no training :> Chillsins 9:54 pm PFFFFT. Well...it's not wrong, only immoral. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:55 pm Immoral means cant die NoodlesAtNight 9:55 pm [[No, no. That's immortal.]] Chillsins 9:55 pm *Cackles.* MedicalMurdersaurus 9:55 pm What immoral? Chillsins 9:55 pm *he's too busy giggling to define immoral right now, please try again later* NoodlesAtNight 9:56 pm [[-What is the point of that cannon.-]] MedicalMurdersaurus 9:56 pm Him got BAD aim. Shoot shoot shoot. No one dies. FakeProwl 9:56 pm Another word for "evil" or "bad." MedicalMurdersaurus 9:56 pm Him say "bad" next time NoodlesAtNight 9:56 pm *More trembling.* FakeProwl 9:56 pm They're slightly different. Chillsins 9:56 pm Training montage Who, me? I'll say whatever I want. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:57 pm This montage sucks. No rocky music. Bird, do Rocky music :> How you BUY team? 😕 Chillsins 9:58 pm I thought most teams had owners. NoodlesAtNight 9:58 pm ((ah yes! there's a line coming up that implies more about Farnsworth being an awful person but nobody actually says anything)) MedicalMurdersaurus 9:58 pm 😕 Chillsins 9:58 pm We can look it up. MedicalMurdersaurus 9:58 pm ((omg)) Chillsins 9:59 pm *Don't mind him, he's researching. * MedicalMurdersaurus 10:00 pm KAHAHAH Chillsins 10:00 pm Aw, I was hoping he'd died and would have to find another body. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:00 pm Him TERRIBLE at football That good idea! Them kill him and then him can be player that killed him! Over and over and then Him in the best football body FakeProwl 10:01 pm The player in front isn't passing the ball like he's supposed to. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:02 pm Dinobots play football with Autobots before. Them run away REAL fast, keheh. Faster than this By LOTS NoodlesAtNight 10:03 pm [[You played with Blurr, he takes it?]] Chillsins 10:03 pm I believe it. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:03 pm Us play with lots of bots. Hound DROVE away keheheh. FakeProwl 10:03 pm Oh, now they're passing. NoodlesAtNight 10:03 pm [[They did strike a deal.]] ((if we MUST see commercials, they could at least shake them up)) Chillsins 10:04 pm (( NEVER. )) NoodlesAtNight 10:04 pm ((though this is better than the golf one that came up literally every time on preview)) FakeProwl 10:04 pm ((all geico all the time)) Chillsins 10:05 pm That floral print... *Hand over spark.* NoodlesAtNight 10:05 pm [[You are welcome to it.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 10:05 pm Her BIT NoodlesAtNight 10:05 pm [[He'll keep his dark walls and lights.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 10:05 pm *BITE Chillsins 10:05 pm Thanks, I'll keep it all. It's so horrible I want to keep it all to myself anyway. FakeProwl 10:06 pm *mumbles* I like the dark walls and lights. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:06 pm Her head look like cloud :> FakeProwl 10:06 pm *his apartment has dark walls and lights too* Chillsins 10:06 pm *Doesn't everyone's?* Guest 10:06 pm Cloudhead NoodlesAtNight 10:07 pm *Windchill should see most of the deployer rooms. The answer to that is 'no'.* MedicalMurdersaurus 10:07 pm Fire is BEST light :V Chillsins 10:07 pm *Well damn that's cool. He's only seen dark rooms in recent memory.* NoodlesAtNight 10:08 pm @Prowl: (txt): Soundwave pleased decor satisfies, found comfortable. Most Autobots not accustomed. {{Boss not got fire on frame, neheheh.}} MedicalMurdersaurus 10:08 pm Dinobots not afraid of ANYTHING :V NoodlesAtNight 10:08 pm {{Only many many light.}} Chillsins 10:08 pm *FAKES A YAWN* MedicalMurdersaurus 10:09 pm Bird not supposed to be on fire :> NoodlesAtNight 10:09 pm {{No! No. Bird not fireproof. D:}} MedicalMurdersaurus 10:09 pm You Bird awesome without fire! Soo Pretty awesome FakeProwl 10:09 pm @Soundwave «I prefer dimmer lights than most mechs.» MedicalMurdersaurus 10:10 pm Oh, him have sight now. Maybe him better shot this time. Headshot? 😃 Chillsins 10:10 pm One can only hope. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:11 pm heeeaddshootttt 😕 FakeProwl 10:11 pm Why doesn't he just TELL her what's going to happen to him. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:11 pm *this is not what Swoop wanted* *no one's heads are exploding* *he was lied to* FakeProwl 10:12 pm She'll think he's crazy until a few months later when a stranger corroborating that story comes up to her. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:12 pm 😕 😕 😕 FakeProwl 10:12 pm Honestly. Why does nobody in this movie explain themselves upfront. The representatives from the afterlife, this man TWICE... NoodlesAtNight 10:13 pm [[Miscommunication is responsible for much of life's problems.]] Chillsins 10:13 pm Especially in film. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:13 pm Him taking really REALLY long time for aiming KEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEH That good fall keheheh Chillsins 10:13 pm Good job. NoodlesAtNight 10:13 pm [[Well. She might believe him now.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 10:14 pm Him need better body this time With cannons FakeProwl 10:14 pm Miscommunication is enough of an issue without fools who fail to give an adequate explanation in the first place. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:14 pm And better aim And armor Chillsins 10:14 pm With cannons and a really big butt. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:14 pm Rhino :V Chillsins 10:14 pm That's what I would go for. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:14 pm Butt??? Kehehe. NoodlesAtNight 10:14 pm [[...Why specify the large aft?]] Chillsins 10:14 pm I know what I'm about. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:15 pm ??? NoodlesAtNight 10:15 pm [[Very well.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 10:15 pm Maybe Him police car this time NoodlesAtNight 10:16 pm [[He doesn't think humans can cross into Cybertronian frames.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 10:16 pm Why? NoodlesAtNight 10:16 pm [[They have no spark.]] [[...At least, not that Knock Out ever found.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 10:16 pm How them walk around no spark? 😕 NoodlesAtNight 10:17 pm [[Organics are strange that way.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 10:17 pm Them have one. Cause Her Carly nice. Her bomb Decepticons and give Dinobots coloring books :> Chillsins 10:17 pm *Steeples fingers.* NoodlesAtNight 10:18 pm [[...What do hats matter.]] MedicalMurdersaurus 10:18 pm Her make Daniel. Her an engineer. FakeProwl 10:18 pm He's an incompetent investigator. NoodlesAtNight 10:19 pm [[...It's baseball night all over again.]] FakeProwl 10:19 pm *snort* NoodlesAtNight 10:19 pm {{Her Carly talented. Maybe her got.}} MedicalMurdersaurus 10:19 pm Dinobots like Carly :> NoodlesAtNight 10:20 pm ((DAMN IT RABBIT CAN YOU NOT)) Chillsins 10:20 pm (( Rabbit you absolute butt. )) FakeProwl 10:20 pm ((oh good, this time it wasn't me)) NoodlesAtNight 10:20 pm ((i'm sorry y'all, it has moments like this... at least it's not as bad as LS most times)) Chaoit 10:20 pm ((-smacks rabbit- ((WORK NoodlesAtNight 10:21 pm [][][]A clearer picture[][][]? [[If looking through Earth dirt, perhaps.]] FakeProwl 10:21 pm *... oh, while they're on pause.* NoodlesAtNight 10:22 pm *Soundwave calls Frenzy down to help him inspect the wiring. If glitch mice have got indoors again...* FakeProwl 10:22 pm *all this talk about affairs and divorces reminded Prowl.* NoodlesAtNight 10:23 pm *He'll work with his feelers and stay seated.* FakeProwl 10:23 pm *ping. do repairs have soundwave too distracted?* MedicalMurdersaurus 10:23 pm *streeeeeeeeettchhes* NoodlesAtNight 10:23 pm \\LOOSE CABLE! GOT IT.\\ Chaoit 10:24 pm .... NoodlesAtNight 10:24 pm *Soundwave makes a small 'go on' motion to Prowl.* Chaoit 10:24 pm -awakeish now. Needs to stop passing out like this- NoodlesAtNight 10:25 pm *Frenzy hears football and he's already down here, so he drops into a chair and kicks his feet up. Might as well see the rest.* MedicalMurdersaurus 10:25 pm This movie so boring every movie watch tv *even Chillsins 10:25 pm I have to agree with her. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:25 pm Us go play football! It more fun than dumb movie! Chaoit 10:26 pm .... Chillsins 10:26 pm Kind of creepy MedicalMurdersaurus 10:27 pm Him go see medic. Broke body still broke with new spark. FakeProwl 10:27 pm @Soundwave «In the interest of keeping you updated on my other relationships, you should know that I'm no longer dating Quark.» Chaoit 10:27 pm Yeah..uh... NoodlesAtNight 10:27 pm \\I'LL PLAY WHEN IT'S DONE. I WANNA SEE IF HE DIES AGAIN.\\ Chaoit 10:27 pm Not gonna...not gonna ask MedicalMurdersaurus 10:28 pm 😃 Chillsins 10:30 pm A man just died though. FakeProwl 10:30 pm ... So he doesn't care that the other player he trained just died. NoodlesAtNight 10:30 pm @Prowl: (txt): Surprising. *Stops to consider that.* Negative. Not surprising. Unexpected timing. Soundwave can request reasoning? MedicalMurdersaurus 10:31 pm It okay. Bot die all the time. Whatever. Him win :> Chillsins 10:31 pm Look at all that jizz. Chaoit 10:31 pm Right....uh...not asking. Again. NoodlesAtNight 10:31 pm \\MAYBE HE'S ALL MIXED UP OR SOMETHIN'. TWO DEAD GUYS, A FRIEND COMIN' BACK, 'N A WIN. CONFUSIN' STUFF.\\ FakeProwl 10:31 pm @Soundwave «... No. It's not my business to share. Just incompatible personality differences.» NoodlesAtNight 10:33 pm *His hands fidget a bit. He senses something juicy, but... he can't have it, so he stays quiet for a few seconds to get control of his words.* FakeProwl 10:33 pm *oh, VERY juicy. but prowl isn't sharing it.* NoodlesAtNight 10:33 pm @Prowl: (txt): Understood. Notification appreciated. Anything needed? Chaoit 10:33 pm -yawns- NoodlesAtNight 10:34 pm \\TRAINER GUY GOT KINDA FRAGGED OVER. ALL THAT 'N HE AIN'T GOT HIS FRIEND ANYWAY.\\ MedicalMurdersaurus 10:34 pm Confusing NoodlesAtNight 10:35 pm [[Why?]] FakeProwl 10:35 pm @Soundwave «... No. I'm glad it's over.» MedicalMurdersaurus 10:35 pm dead not dead dead not dead alive? NoodlesAtNight 10:36 pm [[This seems to be his final body.]] FakeProwl 10:37 pm *... rubs the back of his neck. Getting his memory wiped out...* Chaoit 10:37 pm -wait, what happened to him?- NoodlesAtNight 10:37 pm @Prowl: (txt): ...Also unsurprising. However, if Prowl -- Prowl touching neck. *Subtle hand offer.* MedicalMurdersaurus 10:38 pm This movie dumb. Them do fight club instead. Chillsins 10:38 pm *Looks more bored with this segment than anything.* MedicalMurdersaurus 10:38 pm Them in parking lot anyway That more fun NoodlesAtNight 10:38 pm *The human made a mess of being the last guy with the wrong memories, can't do it a second time.* FakeProwl 10:38 pm *... brushes hand through Soundwave's hand. not solid tonight.* NoodlesAtNight 10:38 pm *Of all the times for him to be unable to offer comfort.* MedicalMurdersaurus 10:38 pm Fight? :< NoodlesAtNight 10:39 pm [[Quite the opposite.]] Chillsins 10:39 pm That's a little weird, but okay. MedicalMurdersaurus 10:39 pm Opposite 😕 FakeProwl 10:39 pm @Soundwave «I'm fine.» Chaoit 10:39 pm ...I'd say I didn't understand it, but I think I slept through most of it MedicalMurdersaurus 10:40 pm It dumb. You fight Soundwave now? :> Chaoit 10:40 pm No MedicalMurdersaurus 10:40 pm :< NoodlesAtNight 10:40 pm @Prowl: (txt): Acknowledged. Unfinished statement: If Prowl: glad, Soundwave also. Best outcome. [[He's not fighting anyone. He has plenty to fight here on his own planet.]] [[He will send you a copy if you wish, Blaster.]] Chaoit 10:41 pm Ah, thanks, but I doubt I'll have time. NoodlesAtNight 10:41 pm *Small nod.* [[Very well.]] *At least the mech got some rest. He does wonder what all is going on in that timeline that Blaster would dare fall asleep in his base.* *...Also, he feels personally attacked by this song.* Chaoit 10:42 pm We're trying to figure out how to repair some of the more extensive damage done to Cybertron FakeProwl 10:42 pm *idly wondering if that's how the other Soundwave managed to kidnap Blaster* Chaoit 10:42 pm -nope got kidnapped after being thrown out of a space-bridge experiment- NoodlesAtNight 10:43 pm *Cybertron repair u say.* Chaoit 10:43 pm -yup- NoodlesAtNight 10:43 pm *Soundwave leans forward a bit.* [[What damage?]] MedicalMurdersaurus 10:43 pm Bird, this boring. Us go fly! NoodlesAtNight 10:43 pm {{Okay! Onetwothreego!}} MedicalMurdersaurus 10:43 pm :V NoodlesAtNight 10:43 pm *ZOOM through the smallest crack in the doors* MedicalMurdersaurus 10:43 pm keheh <3 Chaoit 10:43 pm ...Megatron was trying to dig to the Core for some reason? MedicalMurdersaurus 10:44 pm *AND OFF HE GOES* ((later nerds :D)) NoodlesAtNight 10:44 pm ((seeya! 😃 )) [[Was he, now.]] Chaoit 10:44 pm That and the cities and downs are kinda ruins ((byyye! Chillsins 10:45 pm *Shakes his head.* Chaoit 10:45 pm Uh...yeah. He had his prisoners and some of the stronger 'cons digging I think he went a bit...insane? towards the end NoodlesAtNight 10:46 pm [[None of them live to be asked?]] Chaoit 10:46 pm Well, Sideswipe was one ...and most other Autobots from my timeline, actually... Prisoners, I mean They got captured and forced to dig alongside the 'cons If that's what you meant? NoodlesAtNight 10:48 pm [[They're unlikely to have been told. The Decepticons involved are dead?]] Chaoit 10:49 pm .....I don't know. You could try asking your alternate, though. He may have a better idea. Chillsins 10:49 pm *Stretches.* All right, losers. It's about time I headed out. Chaoit 10:50 pm But he was...kinda 'banished' to a far out outpost for some reason NoodlesAtNight 10:50 pm [[Farewell, Windchill.]] Chaoit 10:50 pm 'bye Chillsins 10:50 pm Good night, thanks for the movie about dead people. *With that, he rises and leaves.* NoodlesAtNight 10:52 pm [[Perhaps he will. Your kind should as well. Knowing what Megatron intended may give you a better idea of how to undo what was done.]] [[...Or, if nothing else, how to prevent someone repeating it.]] *He's only ever heard of a few reasons to travel to the core and none of them were good.* Chaoit 10:54 pm I hope. I would like an answer....he was insane. Not stupid. NoodlesAtNight 10:54 pm [[Often the case.]] Chaoit 10:55 pm And, yeah, having a repeat would...best be avoided. Chaoit 10:56 pm But other than a large hole that nearly leads straight to the Core, we have to repair the cities...or a city. Our population is not very high NoodlesAtNight 10:57 pm *Taps his fingers against his thigh plating* [[Have you found a source of energon around which to center a first choice?]] Chaoit 10:59 pm Solar. So far we've remained in orbit around a star that the option is viable. NoodlesAtNight 11:00 pm *If Prowl ever wondered how much Soundwave intended to stick to his promise to assist Cybertrons, well...* Chaoit 11:00 pm We're working on a more permanent one, but as long as our orbit doesn't change, we are fine NoodlesAtNight 11:03 pm [[-Solar?- Fascinating.]] Another small series of taps. [[Should you require assistance seeking out that more permanent form, contact him. Certain creatures here are used to find new wells. He would consider arranging the trade of disease preventative and a small trained group in exchange for information regarding your solar form.]] FakeProwl 11:04 pm *is idly considering asking about the solar form as well. but... no. it's dangerous enough that starscream has his servos on an energon extender. the last thing cybertron needs is a fuel surplus.* Chaoit 11:04 pm It's not too terribly hard...getting the amount of solar radiation is the hard part. FakeProwl 11:04 pm *as far as prowl is concerned, it's enough that he now knows where he can ask if he ever decides a solar form would be good for cybertron.* Chaoit 11:05 pm And, thank you for the offer.I will keep it in mind for when it comes up in the meetings again. NoodlesAtNight 11:05 pm *Now, Prowl, just because you know something it doesn't mean Starscream HAS to hear about it. He knew much Megatron never did.* [[You are...]] Oh, the word feels wrong. [[...Welcome.]] FakeProwl 11:06 pm *well, why would prowl ask for the form now if he's not going to hand it over to starscream? it's not like prowl has use for it.* NoodlesAtNight 11:06 pm *Because they may not always have access to Blaster, and Starscream may not always be leading.* *Bleh bleh BLEH. If only keeping his promise involved less politeness to alternate mini-nemeses.* *This is out of his comfort zone, damn it.* Chaoit 11:08 pm -Oh, suck it up, he has to play nice with the Shockwave from his timeline after the glitch tried to shoot him on sight- NoodlesAtNight 11:09 pm *Fine. At least Blaster's never magnetized himself to Soundwave and gotten Soundwave thrown out of his own home...* FakeProwl 11:09 pm *Prowl's boss is his direct, native nemesis. both of y'all suck it up.* NoodlesAtNight 11:09 pm *Prowl wins.* *...WAIT. No he doesn't. Starscream never formally reciprocated that.* *PROWL'S CHEATING. CALL THE COPS* FakeProwl 11:10 pm *WHICH IS EVEN WORSE* Chaoit 11:10 pm -Prowl wins that round- Chaoit 11:11 pm -And isn't Prowl already jailed?- FakeProwl 11:11 pm *yeah. by his boss.* NoodlesAtNight 11:11 pm *...Good point. Let's not get his sentence extended.* Chaoit 11:12 pm -There we go- NoodlesAtNight 11:13 pm *Soundwave sits back again, satisfied for now. He will probably inquire as to progress next time he sees Blaster.* Chaoit 11:15 pm -Wednesday then?- NoodlesAtNight 11:15 pm *If Blaster makes that. If not, the next of these.* Chaoit 11:16 pm -Maybe he should just start bringing his reports here too, huh?- -Well, ,the finished ones. This one is still being edited- NoodlesAtNight 11:17 pm *It's a friendly inquiry! Er... 'friendly'. He's just eager to be of service to struggling alternate planets and learn more about different Megatrons.* Chaoit 11:18 pm -'Friendly' huh? Okay, 'wave, he can roll with that- NoodlesAtNight 11:21 pm @Prowl: (txt): Time left before departure necessary? FakeProwl 11:21 pm @Soundwave «I'm still not allowed to work because of my recent injury. So I'm available all night.» Chaoit 11:23 pm -stands and stretches- Right. Need to get back to work. Thanks for the movie, g'night NoodlesAtNight 11:23 pm [[Farewell, Blaster.]] ((thanks for comin!)) Chaoit 11:24 pm ((it was fun! Thanks for showing NoodlesAtNight 11:26 pm (txt): ...Should not keep -all- night. However, if Prowl wishes, first repayment possible. Alternative: other activity. FakeProwl 11:28 pm *thinks the offer over* ... I've been using the forced vacation to try to catch up on my sleep, honestly. NoodlesAtNight 11:29 pm (txt): Also accepted. Expectation: first time deep rest possible in many vorns. FakeProwl 11:30 pm Pf. That's not much of an exaggeration. NoodlesAtNight 11:30 pm (txt): Good. Exaggeration unintended. That, done when own war ended. (txt): Desire acknowledged; Prowl rests. Extended contact another time, perhaps. FakeProwl 11:33 pm *nods* I'll see you next time. *... leans head slightly in? they can't PHYSICALLY touch, but* NoodlesAtNight 11:34 pm *Oh, good. He wanted to do that, but felt ridiculous just trying by himself given the situation. He'll lean in and be careful to go exactly to where the solid holo would stop.* NoodlesAtNight 11:35 pm (txt): Dream well. Obvious suggestion: House arrest removal. {humor} FakeProwl 11:38 pm Hm. Sounds like a nice dream. NoodlesAtNight 11:38 pm *Small nod.* *Which sort of would end up a nuzzle of sorts were that solid but who's counting.* FakeProwl 11:43 pm *well. he's already said his farewell. time to actually go.* *farewell ping. avatar disappears.* NoodlesAtNight 11:45 pm *Soundwave vents and sits back against his seat for a minute to stare up at his ceiling and think. There's a lot on his plate now. Life keeps getting ever more interesting...* *He'll eventually get up and move things back where they go before heading up for recharge of his own.*

[batchaoticcollectionnight-blog]

Does a car not in use need insurance?

"Does a car not in use need insurance?

Just wondering what the laws were in Canada if I need insurance on my car that is unplated and probably going to the junk yard in the next 2 weeks (have to scavenge some parts before I let it go) Calling my insurance company tomorrow to add on the new car but wondering if I should take the old car off altogether?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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What would my annual insurance be on a 2007 Honda Cbr 125?

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Which car insurance companies only ask for 3 years convictions?

Can anyone give me a of list of car insurance companies which only ask for 3 years of convictions...? I have 6 points, I'm 22, passed my test 3 months ago, and accumulated these points 3 years and 2 months ago... Catch my drift? :)""

Is the life insurance valid?

My partner and I have lived together 15 years. His wife refuses to sign divorce papers, even though they broke up 17 years ago. He has a life insurance policy for her to receive benefits on his death. He got a life insurance policy for me to receive benefits on his death. Someone said I can't get a life insurance policy payment without the wife signing off on it. Is that true?""

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Cheap auto insurance?

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How do you get proof of auto insurance?

i just got my driver's license, (i'm 17) but i haven't been able to drive yet because my dad says i need to get an insurance card as proof of insurance. It was supposed to come in the mail a week ago. No one else i know had to do any of this, and they could drive as soon as they got their license. is there a faster easier way to get proof of insurance? thanks""

Cheap auto insurance for a new driver?

Are there any auto insurance companies which offer rates to their younger customers at anywhere between $100-$250 a month? I've been looking around and every insurance company I check with wants to charge me $500-$900 a month, which is ridiculously out of my budget. It would end up costing more in a year than I plan on spending on my car in total and more a month than my family is paying off on our few year old Kia Soul. I'm aware that having a newer car like a Soul raises my insurance prices, but I don't want to buy another, hopefully crappier, car until I'm sure that I can pay insurance to drive it. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?""

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How would McCain guarantee affordable healthcare for all?

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""Having a driver's license, but no car? Insurance question.?""

I'm 18 years old and currently have my driver's license and pay car insurance on it under my parents insurance plan. I want to know if it's possible to sell my car and stop paying for the car insurance. Is it possible to have a drivers license, but not be paying for insurance? I wont be driving any cars, I'm going to get a motorcycle. I live in Florida.""

How do you get long-term heath care insurance in Georgia? And how you pick the best one for you?

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Does anyone know what are the deductible rates that AAA auto insurance offer?

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Car insurance and registration?

SO, I recently bought a car in New Jersey form a car dealer but didn't get the license plate for it because eI have a FL license and I need insurance. I rencety asked a friend for a recommended car insurance provider and he informed me that the car needs to be registered in FL to get FL insurance. Now, my questions is does it really need to be registered in FL to get FL insurance? because my license is a FL license, not a NJ one.""

Do auto insurance companies have authority to require social security numbers for policyholders?

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""Im 17 i hve a 1.4 citroen saxo west coast, nd te lowst insurance ive found is 2300! cn an1 suggest a company?""

ive tried all the compairson sites and they are really expensive, can anyone suggest a cheaper insurance company? i love my car and dont want to sell it!""

Car Insurance Question?

I was in a car wreak where it was the other persons fault....already determined by the police. I live in Tennessee by the way and I didnt have insurance at the time..even though I went out and got it an hour later. My question is who is responsible for paying for the damages to the person who hit me? Their insurance is already fixing my car, but the lady who hit me was driving her dads car and she only had liability but not on the car she was driving. Does she call my insurance company to have her dads car fixed even though it was her fault? Whos insurance pays for it? Or is she just outta luck?""

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Whats a good price for a 17 year old car insurance ? Uk?

Whats a good price for a 17 year old car insurance ? Uk?

Does a car not in use need insurance?

Just wondering what the laws were in Canada if I need insurance on my car that is unplated and probably going to the junk yard in the next 2 weeks (have to scavenge some parts before I let it go) Calling my insurance company tomorrow to add on the new car but wondering if I should take the old car off altogether?

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Why do liberals keep referring to the new health insurance system as affordable? ?

I work on film crews. It an be a long time between movie projects, so I deliver pizzas between crews instead of going on unemployment like many of my film crew buddies. I also own some crappy land, which I inherited, that won't sell. It's just sitting there on the market, screwing me out of qualifying for anything and everything my tax dollars are used for in the way of entitlement funding. I live in a travel trailer. As soon as I have to start paying an upwards of $200 a month for health insurance that is only going to go up, up and up now that pre-existing conditions must be covered, I'm going to have to move into a tent. What part of this is affordable?""

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Do you think the insurance would be cheaper on a 2010 Scion TC (its a coupe btw), or a 2006 Acura TL?""

How long will it take to get a auto insurance check?

I was in a car accident june 3rd, I filed the claim the same day.. talked to the guy doing my claim the next day he said state farm would accept 100% fault so I had to send state farm the police report and some other things they needed and they are suppose to send me check. I faxed all the paper work last Tuesday so how long do you think it will take for them to send me a check? I'm just impatient because I have had no car and had to take all this time off work since I can not get a ride to work and a ride to take my childern to daycare and now my work says if I'm not back by next weekend they will fire me. I called the guy doing my claim just to see how long it normally takes but he never called me back. Any ideas? Thanks!""

Which motorcycle insurance is an better choice Geico or Allstate?

Which motorcycle insurance is an better choice Geico or Allstate?

Ok im 22 years old and i want to buy BMW 3 SERIES 325 Ci 2dr Convertible how much would my insurance cost?

Ok im 22 years old and i want to buy BMW 3 SERIES 325 Ci 2dr Convertible how much would my insurance cost?

Do I Really need to tell my insurance company about my Conviction?

Hi, 4 and a half years ago, I had 2 speeding convictions. Both with 2 months. My driver is European (German) so there is no paper part and no part which shows points. My insurance runs out in 4 months however today I realised in the insurance papers that it does not show my convictions. I called DVLA and they informed me that the convictions had been removed because they were over 4 years old. My insurance ask about convictions from 5 years ago, Should I tell them?""

Need a car-but how much is the insurance?

I'm 25, female and haven't even got a provisional, never had a lesson, live in salford want a car, could only afford one for 600 pound second hand, does anyone have any idea how much my insurance would be about ?""

Looking for a health insurance coop in California.?

Anyone know of one not related to working at a company or for the government?

Do you need insurance to ride a motorcycle with a motorcycle learner's permit in California?

I find information about people having their motorcycle licenses with insurance, but I couldn't find any information about having insurance with a motorcycle permit in California. I am 16 and have a motorcycle learner's permit and want to start riding.""

Are car insurance quotes going to be the price that you will be paying?

Or will they raise it on you once you go with them?

What is some good cheap car insurance for young adults between the ages of 18-24?

And I mean car insurance that you don't have to pay over 100 dollars for.

Can i cancel my car insurance due to changes made in their policy that has skyrocketed my insurance rate?

Just got a package from my insurance company of my new payment schedule for the next 12 mths. Somebody please tell me why i went from paying $249 to $360 a month for car insurance? Sounds absurd ! There is no way in hell im paying for that . . . my questions is, if this is in fact true, can i drop my insurance company at any point in time because the price went up WAY TOO HIGH (i will no longer be able to afford) ? PLEASE HELP!!!!""

Learners Permit and Insurance!?

Can I have insurance while having my learners permit? (I currently live in Orlando, FL)""

Insurance for young drivers?

I just passed my test im 18 tomorrow and i am looking for short term insurance but fairly cheap. I have already tried to look online but most of the insurance company's require the driver to have a years experience on the road beforehand. I desperately need to drive and i desperately need to have insurance. Can anyone please advise on cheap company's plus how to arrange it all?? Thanks

Whats higher in cost car insurance or van insurance at 19 years old?

just a little argument what would cost more car insurance or van insurance

Car insurance coverage?

Will the insurance of a driver pay off for a non family member's vehicle that was totaled if he has total coverage for his vehicles? The vehicle that was crashes has a lien against it & only has liability insurance. However, the driver that wrecked has total coverage for both of his vehicles. He has USAA insurance which looks like good insurance? There is GAP insurance on the wrecked vehicle. My question, how do I get the ball rolling on this? I live in Oklahoma, the truck is sitting at a savage yard in Killeen, TX , the primary driver (a soldier) is in a military camp in Virginia, the soldier that wrecked the vehicle is living in Killeen, TX. I signed for the loan, my name is on the title. I haven't ever driven this vehicle. The salvage yard said they sent registered letters to the Oklahoma motor vehicle department. This sounds like it could take months and months to settle. Meanwhile, I need the primary driver to continue make the payments. They are not agreeing on who shuld""

What is the cheapest auto insurance for a 19 year old female?

I am soon going to buy a used Toyota Corolla and I live in North Carolina. I am just starting to get my driver's license and I was wondering what auto insurance is cheaper? Would it be cheaper if I was on my parents auto insurance?

Insure the box car insurance? miles question?

hi ive recently done a quote with insure the box and i got my insurance to 1600 on 2006 corsa 998c engine fully comp, i understand they give you 6000 miles standard my question is if i go over 6000 miles i need to top up how much does that cost? 250miles ? 500miles? 1000 miles ? and so on ? anyone know thanks""

""Driving without insurance in CA, only 19 yrs old and does not own car, what is the worst case scenario?""

So I got into a bit of a fender bender at my college parking garage. I was trying to park and due to the tight space i apparently hit the back bumper of a car. I drove away because I didn't want to further block traffic, I thought I hit the side wall, and I was already late for an important exam. The campus police called me, and he's not charging me with a hit and run. We also have everything straightened out with the other driver. However, the officer needs my insurance to complete the police report. I do not have insurance, I don't own a car and the car I was driving was my sister's. Am I completely liable? I researched around and saw fines were up to $1000 and licenses were revoked 60-90 days. Please help me answer, I'm so stressed out and terrified of everything that's happening!..""

What are some car insurance people?

I know Progressive, and Geico. Who do you use? who do you not use and why? We just got a new toyota Sienna and i want to shop around for cheap insurance.""

Where can I get the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

I just bought a bike and haven't ridden in years so don't know where to start and I live in Pennsylvania if that's any help. Thanks

Does a car not in use need insurance?

Just wondering what the laws were in Canada if I need insurance on my car that is unplated and probably going to the junk yard in the next 2 weeks (have to scavenge some parts before I let it go) Calling my insurance company tomorrow to add on the new car but wondering if I should take the old car off altogether?

Is my terrible credit rating going to affect my insurance premiums if I pay monthly?I?

I'm buying a new scooter in the next week or so so I can get to my new job. I've got a terrible credit rating from being over zealous with credit cards and loans. I can only afford to pay monthly for my insurance. Because of my credit rating, is there a chance I'll get turned down to pay monthly and have to pay my whole premium one go? Also, my previous insurance company has cancelled my old policy because I didn't pay the bill. I never recieved any letters or anything saying they were going to do it and as far as I was aware my money was going out as usual. Is that going to count against me as well?""

What is the cheapest auto insurance carrier in north carolina?

What is the cheapest auto insurance carrier in north carolina?

I want to buy a peugeot 106 1.1 zest. How much would the insurance cost? All serious answers are welcomed.?

I am 21 nearly 22 with no claims, points or convictions""

Car insurance quote help?

i'm getting a quote for a vw polo and when it comes to asking how long you've held your licence for does it mean how long i've had my full licence for or how long i've held a licence since my provisional

A 1967 FORD MUSTANG coupe Insurance (UK only please)?

Can anyone tell me what the average insurance is for this car is. I tried car insurance sites and all they want is my info and i dont have a licence yet i just want to know what one would insure for. An estimated guess is all i am looking for. Thanks. Also does the historic tax still in use? if a car was made before i think its something like 1974. That would a helpful thing to know as well. Thanks People.

CAR INSURANCE FOR FEMALES?

CAN ANYONE SUGGEST CHEAP CAR INSURANCE COMPANIES

How much woul motorcycle insurance cost if.........?

45 years old, driving for 29 years have all other liscenses exept m, suzuki gs550""

""I hit accidentally a car on the back,no damages.Did my insurance will go up?""

I hit the car in the back,but was no damages in the cars.She will contact my insurance ,didi they will increase my payment?""

How much would it cost to get a car?

Im 17 and have applied for my practical test but once i pass how much will it cost to get a car, insurance, tax and MOT. im not looking for a great car just a small car, a polo would be nice.""

Someone hit my dad's car with no insurance?

So my dad was on his way home from work. At an intersection, he was waiting for the light to turn green, when suddenly someone hit him from the back, probably because the person didn't stop in time. So the person waved his hand to go somewhere to park and exchange information. Notice, no witness besides the two of them. Well, it was a crowded intersection and at dinner time, so no one stopped, and it's impossible to track any down. My dad was panicking, so he just followed the guy. Both exchanged legitimate information and drove home. When my dad got home, of course, it was past 8pm, so we couldn't call the insurance company. So we did all the paperwork the next day. It turned out, the guy's insurance had expired just 1 month before. We told the guy and he said okay and will pay by cash. My dad went to the autodealer and the price is about $4000. So the problem is now, we've been keep calling him and he doesn't pick up. He picked up the first couple of times, but now he doesn't anymore. We told him the price already. What should we do? Take him to court? I heard you don't get anything out of it. We have the guy's info, because his old insurance sent it. It happened on 16/01/2013 Orange County, California My dad's car Mercedes ML320 2001. Damage: the trunk is pretty damaged, can't open it anymore. Obvious it was hit by a car. We just want the guy to pay for what he did.""

What is a good car for a 17 year old. and what is the cheapest insurance?

What is a good car for a 17 year old. and what is the cheapest insurance?

How much does car insurance cost?

I will be turning sixteen this May, and my mom has arranged for me to get my licence on my birthday (May 1). I have to pay for my own insurance and gas money (unless I am driving somewhere for them). They are buying me just an old used car that will last me through the rest of high school and college (7 years). It may be falling apart by the end of that time but it'll get me from point a to point b. I plan on getting a job as soon as possible. I want to work somewhere this summer, and I will tutor (which I already do occasionally) during the school year, because I don't have time for a part time job all year with extra-curriculars. How much do I need to make to afford my car insurance? Also, my grandad works for State Farm, so we all have to get it there. OH and I took drivers ed when I got my permit so that's deductible.""

How much is insurance on a Chevy Camaro?

I'm 16, ill be on the car by myself. the camaro is a 1998, and in great condition. i have state farm along with my family so ill be on their plan, ive done the steer clear program and have good grades which both give me a discount! does anyone have an estimate of what is might be per month????""

""Why is it that if your pregnant, you can't get health insurance?""

I currently have Kaiser with my fathers business(I work for him). However, he is thinking of canceling the insurance. I found out 2 days ago that I am pregnant, my father still does not know, and I know he will be happy for me, and maybe will not cancel the insurance for me. However, why is it that if your pregnant you can't get insurance? How about if i still want to stick with Kaiser, but have it on my name only? Oh I live in Southern California cause I know sometimes people ask that.""

New driver looking for cheap insurance?

New driver looking for cheap insurance?

How much will it cost....?

I live in Hemet , Southern California. I have a 9 month old son. He will be nursed until 24 months, However, he does eat some solid foods. I my boyfriend and I rent an appartment for $750- How much would our monthly income need to be to support our family? How much is utilities in my area? How much do you spend on gas? How much is car insurance? How much is it to get my car smoged? How much are monthly groceries? What other bills am I missing? Please help!""

Cheapest car insurers. for a 1997 citroen ax?

third party fire and theft. who is the cheapest insurer for this.thanks

Can someone please explain health insurance to me?

I'm looking for individual health insurance and it is very confusing. Can someone explain what things like deductible, copay, and coinsurance mean? Also, what's the difference between a PPO, Network, Indemnity, and a HSA-qualified plan? Lastly, how do I know exactly what is covered before I apply? People have sent me things in the mail and I'm looking online and I was given a list of things covered, but then it says that this isn't everything and once I sent in my payment I will get a full list of my policy and coverages. That seems shady, and these are top companies like Aetna and Health America, so I don't think they would rip me off. Plus, how come these companies aren't offering a bundle plan, where I can get health insurance, vision, and dental all in one plan with one monthly payment?""

A better way acquire an affordable health insurance to cover my family?

if I work for, say Pizza Hut as a part-time while I earn $65K/yr full-time job? I dont want to spend too much monthly payments on health insurance?""

What size alloy wheels will change the insurance of a car? (read details)?

right i've been looking at cars to buy for ages now and as I'm a seventeen year old boy insurance is ridiculous as it is. Finding cars that i can afford to buy and insure is hard. I have found a few 'perfect' cars, however a couple of them have alloy wheels instead of the standard manufacture ones. I will quote my insurance website so you can help me out: Replacement of factory fitted wheels with Alloys of the same size this doesn't alter my insurance quote one bit. Replacement of factory fitted wheels with wheels / tyres of a non standard size or specification This means i cannot get insured at all; they won't have me with them. So my question is, if a 1998 Peugeot 306 has 16 inch white wolfrace alloys, does this mean i can't get insured or not? This might be a stupid question, just want to get it right, thanks for you time, means a lot Alex.""

How much does a salvaged title make your auto insurance go up?

I am an 18-year-old first time driver that just got his license a week ago. I got a car that's a salvaged title and a theft recovery. I got a quote on the car before I ...show more

What is the cheapest way to insure a teenager with car insurance?

I have heard of people putting the car under their name on the policy and then they child drives the car and claims it is their parents car. Giving cheaper insurance. Is that very common?

What sports cars have low insurances?

im 19 so insurances are an absolute drag and im looking to buy a sports looking car but the insurances for everything are so high. so is there any good sports looking cars with a relatively low insurance group preferably below 15. my previous cars have been a ford focus 1.6 titanium 09reg , Puegeot 206 1.1 T reg, ford fiesta zetec s 1.6 59reg and im driving a puegeot 207 1.6 59reg at the moment and i want to get out this style of car. and i have a budget of around 14,000 - 15,000""

Does speeding tickets raise your insurance?

I've gotten 2 speeding tickets this month so I'm worried. Does this raise your insurance rates?

Auto Insurance rates?

Is there a web site where I can see how a particular type of car rates for insurance vs another car?

Does a car not in use need insurance?

Just wondering what the laws were in Canada if I need insurance on my car that is unplated and probably going to the junk yard in the next 2 weeks (have to scavenge some parts before I let it go) Calling my insurance company tomorrow to add on the new car but wondering if I should take the old car off altogether?

Need info about health insurance?

My dad is 61, mom 57. Dad has RA and a case of carple tunnel (spelling?) That went undiagnosed until it was too late. He is an over the road freight hauler and will soon lose his job along with their insurance because of it. They are too young for medicare and disability is going to take a while. We live in Minnesota. Anybody have any advise about health insurance or anything that will financially help???? Desperate here!!!""

What is title insurance?

I will like to know more about the title insurance and how is it that important when we buy a propety. Can you please help me with the information. Thanks

A few questions about SR-22 Insurance?

Alright, so I'm getting slightly annoyed of the DMV as I've visited them three times already an had literally no progress made in all those lame visits... Anyways, I only got insurance so I can drive, but my car has failed smog three times now so that wont be happening and I'm now paying non-owner SR-22 insurance. Here are a few questions I have about the SR-22 and any input would be much appreciated. 1) What are the exact consequences if I choose to cancell my non-owner SR-22 insurance? I acknowledge that I will have to restart the process all over again when I want to reactivate it, but will the price be raised even more and the time frame? 2) Who do I call to find out how long I have to have SR-22 insurance; DMV or Local Court? 3) When does the SR-22 officially get activated, when the judge orders it or when I first started paying for the insurance? (I'm asking this because the insurance company I'm with is saying I shouldn't cancel because it will restart; I got the DUI 2 years ago and acitvated the insurance about 2 mounts ago.) I'm planning on going to a 4 year college so I don't want to be paying not to drive...! *I live in California if that helps you answer the question.""

Car Insurance claim... not sure if it's my fault... how much will my insurance go up?

I live in California and got into an accident with a city bus. I was going to make a left turn in an intersection when the light turned yellow, so I stopped. The bus driver thought I was going to go through the yellow light, so he stepped on the accelerator and bumped into me. Is it my fault for stopping so quickly or his fault for bumping into me? If it's not my fault, will my insurance go up too? How long will it take to bring it back down? I got a hole in my bumper and I think I have to replace the whole thing. Will the driver's insurance cover for it? Thanks ^^""

What happened to Obamacare lowering the cost of insurance?

A watershed moment in the ongoing disaster of ObamaCare,as Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius finally admits that health insurance premiums are rising because of the Presidents health insurance takeover, per the Wall Street Journal : http://www.humanevents.com/2013/03/27/hhs-secretary-finally-admits-obamacare-is-raising-insurance-costs/""

Moving from Colorado to San Diego..need info on insurance.?

I have kaiser with my husbands job..we are planning on moving back to san diego so I will not have insurance I will be around 36 weeks I wanted to know if anyone knows what insurance I can get so I don't have to pat a fortune for delivery?

Is high risk homeowner's insurance necessary in Florida?

I am expecting to move to South Florida soon with work and am concerned about the coastal location and buying a home. I plan to purchase a home eventually, but I am told that it is a high risk state because of hurricanes, and my insurance is going to be very expensive no matter what part of the state I am in. In addition to this I was also told that I probably will not have flood insurance offered. Is it true that I will have to have a higher risk premium on my insurance bill and have to be subject to floods anyway?""

How long would it take for my car insurance to go back down?

If I got a few speeding tickets, which resulted in my car insurance to go up, how long would it be before it goes back down?""

Does anyone know the best way to get health insurance if you are self employed.?

I am self employed and never even thought about health insurance. I would be very grateful for some advice on how I can get this started, where to begin or if someone knows of companies that are good for self employed people.""

How do I get individual health insurance quotes for North Carolina?

I am currently living in New York State and am considering moving to North Carolina. How do I get individual health insurance quotes while still living in NYS? All the websites ask you to provide a North Carolina address which I do not have yet. Thank you.

How much do you guys pay for Honda S2000 car insurance?

I got a quote for 490 for 6 months. Full coverage from state farm for a 04 Honda s2000. Is this good?

Can She Still Get Health Insurance?

My girlfriend and I are moving out to South Dakota in a few months and I was wondering if she would still be covered under her mom's insurance. She is a full-time student and lives with her mother in Wyoming goes to school in Nebraska. She will however be living with me in South Dakota but still a full-time student. Is she still covered under her mothers insurance even though she will not be living under her mother's roof? Thanks!

""Would any car insurance(allstate,geico) insure an international student who doesn't have a PA licence?

I have my country licence and an international driving permit. I would like to buy a car in Pennsylvania as I am staying for about a year in this country. I would like to know will car insurance companies insure me?

What are my best options for cheap car insurance?

I have just passed my driving test and I am looking to buy a car. I'm 21 year old female, and obviously I haven't got any no-claims or anything! Ideally I am after a little 1.0lt KA or Corsa. I've had a look on Compare the market etc and I've been quoted at 2,100 as being my cheapest offer on my own policy! My dad drives, but he is taking some convincing when it comes to insuring me on his policy! Basically I am wondering what the best way is to obtain cheap insurance!""

Anyone have any information on insurethebox car insurance?

I've been looking at insurance quotes from various sites and insurethebox keeps popping up. The company fit a clear box to the car to see how much mileage you used (has to be under 6000 a year). Does anyone have any more information on them? I've googled, and aside from some advertisement articles haven't really found anything. All help is appreciated (10 points for best answer :D)""

Car Insurance company?

Hey I had this car accident. Therefore, I exchanged the whole information, including driver's license, plate number and everything. Even the guy's signature that he is responsible for this accident. Therefore, I called his insurance company representative last thursday, but the insurance guy was away, so he just received the voicemail. I called the representative again and he was still away from the desk. Would it possible this would take this long time? Thanks.""

Affordable insurance plan for a diabetic?

im a diabetic and i recently lost my AR Kids insurance when i turned 19.... i need an affordable insurance plan that will cover my prescription does anyone have any suggestions

Best Car Insurance for a teen?????????

im getting my liscence this week && im only 17. i NEED to know, whats the CHEAPEST car insurance to get in los angeles, california??""

Whats the average pay for Car or Auto Insurance ??

What is the average amount that people pay for Car Insurance a month for one car?????? PLEASE SOMEONE ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is the cheapest car and home insurance?

The car insurance would cover for 2 people, me and my mother. The home insurance would be for our apartment. She asked me to look this up for her and I have no idea where to start. A little guidance would be great? Thanks :]""

Do I need to buy additional car insurance when renting a car?

I have full coverage with State Farm but I wasn't sure if I had to purchase additional insurance when I rent the car or does my policy handle renting a car? I have full coverage right now and I will only need the car for the weekend.

""Why can't we have Geiko,State Farm, or Progressive auto insurance in the state of Ma?.?""

I always see t.v. commercials for them but at the bottom of the screen it says not available in Ma. and a few other states that I can't remember. If I could save money buy switching to one of those companies I would but I can't , so I have to pick from Commerce or Metropolitan. My car insurance is really expensive (I pay over $300 a month) I have only had my license for a couple years so I under stand the whole new driver thing and my car was new when I bought it so I have full coverage but the car is only a Kia Rio, far from a sports car or luxury car. I pay more for my insurance than for the car payments.""

Where can i find low cost health insurance that can include dental? I am in GA.?

I havebeen looking everywhere for health insurance that includes dental(because I want braces)but they are so much (like 290 for a adult and 2 children) I am 16 years old looking for health insurance for my dad,me,and my sister.""

Help with insurance policies?

Does anyone know websites with insurance policies for events? I'm holding an event and I can't seem to find any proper policies anywhere. It's more of a sporty type event.

What is the cheapest/best insurance for a 24yr old student/ stay at home mom?

My 3month old is covered under medicaid, but I need help finding an affordable insurance for myself. My fiance is covered by his work for free, but it would be $200 a check for him to add me and we cannot afford that at this time.""

Does a car not in use need insurance?

Just wondering what the laws were in Canada if I need insurance on my car that is unplated and probably going to the junk yard in the next 2 weeks (have to scavenge some parts before I let it go) Calling my insurance company tomorrow to add on the new car but wondering if I should take the old car off altogether?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-your-car-insurance-joseph-williams"

[proxybeach]

A bit of an update. It’s been a hectic week.

So it’s a full moon tonight, and I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to do anything special, but I was!! I got a chance to get away. Burn some stuff. Yknow.

Anyways, recap:

-set up a bottle of water outside to charge for full moon water, along with my quartz

-put out my rain water bottle, as it’s supposed to rain. It doesn’t rain much where I live, so rain is very rare and special. It’s also dirty. I got to collect a little bit earlier this week and it’s got so much dirt in it... but at least it’s from the sky. Plus maybe the full moon can “cleanse” it, though I won’t be drinking it - it’s purely for spellwork. I did also set up a small tray to get as much water as possible.

-I did a small spell. I might post details later because I like to log them, but I wanted to see if it works or not first because I feel like disclaimers are important.. but I felt confident about my intent, and usually that’s the most important part. I made sure the wording was positive, but not linear. I do enjoy using fire... The flame that burned took a while to light, but crackled a lot. Then I dripped a few drops of rainwater on the flames, which turned into an enormous, almost alarmingly big flame before going out very suddenly with a loud hiss. It was a little scary but, not gonna lie, seemed very fitting. Honestly I was going on instincts this whole time, so this spell wasn’t super premediated but I like this approach more. It feels more natural.

-Still grappling with my identity. I definitely am not comfortable talking about it with anyone except there’s one person who I want to open up to but I don’t see them. It’s personal and having tumblr resources is enough for me, though. I feel like eclectic pagan is the best I can get because I blend so much from various aspects. Druidry appeals to me for its nature aspect, but I’m pretty sure that’s its own thing and I’m not one for stealing labels that don’t belong to me. Wicca feels like its got too many specifics, though the title of “closeted witch” is one I’ve used (even though those aren’t necessarily related). I dunno. I’ve never liked the identity of atheist, but I feel like agnostic is really where I lie. While my doubts are slowly dispelled... i still have that kernel. At the same time... some things feel like magic and maybe I’ll just allow myself to feel that way.

-As I’m writing this my cat curled up next to me and fell asleep. I thought he was too stupid to be a familiar (sounds like a mean thing to say but for a cat he’s not very smart) but I’m starting to get the feeling he’s trying. He’s sensed when I’ve had anxiety and usually tails me around the house, and I should prolly dig more with this but. He’s a very good pet. He wasn’t “my” adoption but he’s definitely my cat. I dunno. It’s comforting.