#also i have drawn a bit of plus sized characters already!

[jrjresq]

How come you never draw plus size/overweight people?? you’re always drawing the same few wolves over and over again, as a plus size person, I’d love to see more of my body type instead of the same lean muscular body type, just asking.

as a plus sized person i would also love it when people don't passive aggressively ask me to draw plus sized characters

[blkgirl-writing]

Helloo! so I know you can romance the companions with any appearance, but I have a hard time imagining them actually choosing to being with a plus size person like myself.

Very indulgent, but do you have any thoughts about them being with a chubby partner? Perhaps a bit of fluff and spice?

Love what you do. writing for the ppl that fanfics often leave forgotten. You're awesome & I hope you have a great day today <3

I’m so happy you asked this, because actually, most of the companions I see loving thicker people and a few fairly exclusively liking bigger women (it’s Wyll) but here’s my headcanons for the baldurs gate 3 companions being interested in a chubby/fat tav!

Aatarion

Astarion is actually the only character I see maybe not loving chubby bodies all that much, but that's really for acended Astarion, since he becomes such a despicable and unapethetic person

But Astarion once he breaks free of cazador?

learns to be accepting and....kind?

He was always drawn to a very conventional type of beauty as he had to be fit into that mold for so so many years, so he kinda felt like he needed people to fit in that mold for him as well

He would start to find beauty in the smaller things in life that he was never able to before

Including bigger chubbier bodies

the comforts of plushness and something extra very much opposes his more thin and sharp body

like he actually likes hugging, he would ASK for a hug

to him hugging you is the embodiment of his freedom and enjoying non sexual things simply, without any motivation

Gale

I think Gale would find comfort in your body

Using as much of you as a pillow, cuddling and being able to be the big and little spoon

Any skimpy outfit would drive him wild, he'd get all flustered and kinda just be more near you?

Since he loves thighs the bigger the better, he won’t complain. He lowkey wants to be crushed by your thighs

Gale would find so much joy in so much ass and thighs in his face, his personal horny heaven

(TW E.D) If you have trouble eating he would cook for you and sit away from camp if it made you more comfortable. He'd take so much joy in making something you wanted to eat (END OF TW)

Gale stars at you a lot

And when you ask why he's staring, he always has a different reason

Somehow he always knows when to compliment you when you're feeling down

he will always find the best way to make you feel better and it's unique and special

"I love how your shoulders look when you're reading" or like "I just can't take my eyes off you when you smile, it lights up your whole face. All I want to do is make you smile til the end of our days" etc etc

Shadowheart

Lovely person but I do think she’d learn to love bigger bodies, I like to think Karlach was her sexual awakening to big women

But honestly I think it would only take some good titties for her to be convinced

I think she would love being smaller than you, and would absolutely wear your shirt/blouse around camp as a baggy dress

Especially to kind of brag about sleeping with you and you being hers and hers alone

She would basically exclusively want to sleep with her head resting on your thighs

many many nights were spent like that looking at the stars

honestly you'll need to ask her for compliments but she never fails to make you smile with them

"What? You want me to tell you how perfect you are? Or how beautifully your body looks in that tight dress? How much I want to take you to bed right now? I thought you already knew those things, but if you ask I'll say them a million times, til you believe it, and a few more times for good measure."

Wyll

Wyll is so sweet and so nice, he always compliments you and always hugs you in the best ways

he notices your insecurities and makes sure to compliment them and tell you how much he loves and appreciates those parts of you

He also just finds you the sexiest thing alive

he loves his partners bigger

I mean I've already said he's an ass man and he fully wants to be engulfed in that ass if possible and that just don't happen with skinner people

Wyll loves his comforts and his comforts is just ass on face tbh

he'd get real wild and very flirty drunk too

"Give me all of that ass" and "sit on my face and ride it like you mean it til the dawn breaks"

is also in love with your stomach and kisses it whenever your closing rides up or is exposed from the clothing itself being revealing or just short

when he's next to you he will always have his hand around your waist

Karlach

no matter what size you are Karlach can pick you up and swing you around like she's picking up a pillow so

she treats you absolutely no differently than a skinnier person, maybe she picks you up and swings you around more actually

she'd treat you kinda as a princess it's adorable

In my head, Karlach is obviously super muscley but also kinda chubby so like there'd be no reason to see you as anything but perfect and so beautiful

She is always snackin' on stuff, so she'd ask if you wanted any of the nibbles she found on the way

Karlach would wanna just sleep face down on your stomach so like you can decide if she actually does every single night or short rest or nah

and she'd randomly kiss your tummy while she laid on it just cause she wants to and she finally can kiss you and lay on you, and all the fun things she wanted to do for what felt like forever

Lae'zel

she sees someone as the bigger, the more strength

so immediately she'd be like ah yes, a worth lover able to take all intensities i give

She's definitely go harder on you in combat (during a certain romance scene) because of your size, and definitely give more during sex

Especially if you have bigger arms? she's a suckers for big arms

Lae'zel would cuddle like it was fucking wrestling

like you'd wake up with bruises and if you asked she'd be like, you can take all I give, therefore I will give you even more than I have

everything she does is intense of course but she will never baby you like she may someone smaller

she sees you so much as an equal and a strong fighter it's actually very cute and everyone is kind of shocked how much she likes you

----

Tag list, tell me if you want to be added!

@shyminnie07 @makers-breath @claryvoyantfray @black-sapphic

(Consider supporting me on Ko-fi)

[arcadekitten]

I’m not sure if Stella is supposed to be plus sized (I’m dumb sorry) do you have more/any plus sized characters? Or maybe a raccoon?

Yes, she is! It's a bit hard to see it proper because of the shape of her dress, but I made sure to draw her one cutscene in this way so people could have a better look at the shape of her body, and see that she's noticeably bigger from the way other characters are drawn!

As for other plus-sized characters:

In order: Emerald from Blackout Hospital, Gunter from Here For Sweethearts, Clyde from Semiaquatic Circus (though Savannah is standing in the way a bit haha!), Mafuma from Tricks N Treats and Crowscare

Unsure if Pogo Gogo "counts" but I designed her with the intention of having more of a "strongman"/"strongwoman" build and I think she's got some girth to her

I also do have a raccoon girl but......i'll save her for another day. I may have already posted her but I don't remember, so another day she shall be!

[dross-the-fish]

Someone recommended Lore Olympus to me. I’ve only heard about it from 2 sources, them and you. They gave the positive. I’d like to hear the negative. What’s your beef with it?

It's a long list, I have a lot of beef.

A friend recommended it to me and I gave some of it a read. I was put off by the art style, particularly since the protagonist is supposedly plus sized but aside from being curvy with big tits in some panels I would never have guessed this was meant to be anything other than a conventionally attractive character.

I really don't like the depiction of Persephone, she comes off as being creepily young and naive and the narrative tries to play that up like it's charming. The vibe I get off of her is "sexy baby who needs a father figure to guide and protect her" until she randomly has to do something badass and then she gets all red-eyed and starts kicking ass and it feels like it comes totally out of left field.

Her relationship with Hades is so incredibly tedious, they have zero chemistry and he's so much older than her and more obviously experienced with everything that it's legitimately exhausting to imagine myself in his shoes being a grown man with a full time career teaching some barely out of high-school kid how navigate the world, giving her a job at my corporation, and essentially have her be dependent on me while I'm struggling with my own toxic failing relationship. What is the appeal of Persephone as a love interest here? That she's nice? That's really all there is to her for the most part, that she's "nice" and "cute" which isn't really enough to make someone attractive as a potential partner.

I can understand maybe wanting to help some kid get on her feet after spending her life in a Mormon cult but nothing about that kid would ever read as "Wife material" at least not to me or any other adult over 25.

The dynamic between Hades and Persephone is just weird. She's an incredibly sheltered 19 year old who's never had ANY life experience or social interaction outside of a small circle approved by her mother and he's ancient but physically equivalent to being in his 40's and a ceo or something who's already in a relationship with a female character who was clearly written just to make Persephone look better by comparison.

While we're on it let's talk about Hade's first partner. An unlikable piece of crap named Minthe who has some clear mental traumas and insecurities that the plot never handles because asking the writer to to give these characters depth or dimension is like asking a chimp to write a symphony and that just ain't happening. Yeah, Minthe who is a nymph and part of the lower class, also employed by Hades and completely financially dependent on him. She is abusive and manipulative and any time we might feel like we can sympathize with her because Hades is practically cheating on her the writers make sure to make her do something that depicts her as being as unlikable as possible. Can't have Persephone willingly be a homewrecker or competitive that might make her INTERESTING! We can't have her be interesting! It makes her less "Cute" and "wuvable" *barf*

There's also a couple of instances of SA and they aren't handled well at all. It's mostly played for drama and only comes up if we need the characters to be sad.

Then there's the art

oh boy the art....

Look I know my own art is pretty rough and not the most consistent but LO is just too much for me.

Sometimes Persephone's face is drawn in a way that makes her look almost like a little girl and she's frequently in skimpy clothing or in suggestive poses, even when nothing in the story calls for that. If you're going to make her look provocative maybe don't make her face so punchable and insipid looking.

You can write this off as my personal bias. I loathe characters who are designed to look as "uwu baby" as possible. Unless it's specifically for a joke or something...

This is a bit of a nit pick but I have no idea how tall she or Hades are supposed to be.

In this panel She can barely see over the counter here for some reason and she's frequently drawn as being roughly around elbow height with him,

Just to illustrate how ridiculous of a height difference that is for two adults to have that's close to the height disparity between Edward Hyde and Adam Frankenstein. Unless Hades is between 7-8 feet tall there is no reason to draw your 19 year old character that much shorter than him.

Idk I didn't read all of it so I don't know if it gets better or if the characters improve but I found it to be a shallow experience that clearly I'm not the target audience for. Check it out and see what you think for yourself but there's my beef with it.

[natsmagi]

hii so this is not hate lol i'm just on anon cause i'm a v awkward person... i know the subject's been done to death but as a plus size lesbian lover of boobs and tsumugi aoba PERSONALLY i think it's just kinda like. the reason people dogpile you and other femstars tsumugi artists isn't cause the art is bad or anything!! and i know you're portraying a certain type of body type that does exist it's just kinda hard out here when there's maybe one? two? artists who've drawn tsumugi fat like. Once. so it really isn't your fault for putting out your content it's just frustrating for us because we already get so little rep of us that it can feel like people are just taking the parts of our (plus size women i mean) bodies they like but keeping the tiny waist. but again not hate just kind of a. statement ig? have a good day!!!

omg yea no thats definitely a good observation!! its really hard to talk about these topics from all angles, so thank you for your input!!

its become alot more complicated than it needs to be tho i feel..... bc you are right; plus size bodies dont get alot of rep. especially positive rep. ESPECIALLY in animanga. so it makes sense for people to push for more diversity! especially when we as fanartists can bend canon to however we see fit! but there lies an issue. i appreciate you for expressing your frustrations with it without shaming those who dont draw it! but this is unfortunately not the norm... most of the people who push for us to draw mugi plus sized arent exactly being the kindest in their approach to put it lightly, and they shame us for our "unrealistic" body portrayals. from my perspective the people who want me to draw this body type are the same people who hold no respect for me or my art. i never want it to come across as if though im AGAINST drawing tsumugi bigger, it genuinely makes me incredibly happy to see people add the diversity they wish to see in the media they love! i just hope you can see how the circumstances of it all leads to me feeling very conflicted....... because now, if i were to draw tsumugi bigger, itd feel disingenuous. id feel like im catering to the very people who hate me. and drawing her like that would only remind me of how rude people are when it comes to the subject, which would strip the joy i feel from drawing away from me

genuinely speaking i adore all variations of tsumugi. i think its incredibly lovely to see people want more diversity in media and add that diversity themselves! but because of the people who only want to shame people who dont draw the character how THEY want to see them portrayed, its just not something i really want to do....... honestly, im more than willing to draw OTHER characters plus sized (i need to get better at that sorta stuff anyway) but just. not tsumugi. being ridiculed for having fun drawing her this way has really put me off wanting to change it. especially considering how i draw her with a soft tummy and have had people come at me for that too, thinking thats my portrayal of bigger sized people

AGAIN LIKE ITS SO. NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED. bc it really should just be a simple "hey i want this character to be plus sized!" or "hey! do you think you could draw this character with a bit more fat to them? it feels suitable" but that hasnt been what it is...... and thats sad!!!!! because we should want more diversity!!!! but the way these people go about it is just. wrong. so again i really do appreciate you for being kind but also honest. i wish more people took this approach, maybe itd spare us this whole mess. though thats likely wishful thinking. thank you though! and thank you for sharing your perspective!! ❤️

[carpisuns]

For the artist tag!

1. what is your favorite color to work with?

2. who is your favorite character to draw?

1. I think its gotta be yellow! i often find myself adding yellow layers and highlighting in the finishing touches bc I like how it brightens up the piece and makes it feel more vibrant and warm

2. I already answered this but i want to elaborate. My fav character to draw is Willow Park!! Partly bc she’s just one of my fav characters of all time and also bc she’s so SHAPED and I love drawing, like, curves and roundness lol. round faces and round bodies and curly hair and stuff like that. I think im extra drawn to that bc those are the shapes that make up ME and it makes me so happy to draw a character I can see myself in a little bit. im a lot bigger than Willow is in canon but just having a plus-sized character to draw is very special to me bc my other blorbos are all thin. And ofc I still love them and love drawing them!! But it’s so nice to draw Willow and give her round cheeks and big arms and thighs and a belly bc I have all those things! And drawing her and focusing on those shapes actually helps me see the aesthetic appeal of bigger bodies, including mine. this might sound a little silly but it has been a new experience for me as an artist since I learned to draw exclusively from fanart lol and im always drawing the same characters over and over. and until now I just didn’t have a blorbo to draw who has a body type like willow’s. So im grateful for the ways this has taught me to expand my artistic knowledge/skills and also for how it’s taught me to see myself and other large-bodied people differently! ive never been able to use my own body as a reference before bc i wasnt the right shape but now I can a little bit which is cool. Also fr I just love Willow sooo much as a character, she sparks a lot of joy for me, and it makes me smile to draw her:)

Thanks for the ask<3

Artist asks

[mauesartetc]

Hey Maue.

I made a redesign for Stolas in Helluva Boss and wanted to know what you think of it.

My redesign:

Original:

This is probably impossible to animate. I mostly just made this for fun.

It’s actually pretty animatable, all things considered. You’d just have to mask out his tail and head feathers for the star texture like they did for his cape in “Ozzie’s”, as well as keep track of how many spots his fur ruff has, and where they’re located. Spongebob Squarepants animators do the same with Spongebob’s pores and Patrick’s freckles to keep them consistently on model. It’s doable; it just requires a bit more work.

It’s nice that your design features more star elements (hell, ANY star elements) to convey Stolas’ interest in astronomy, and cuts down on line mileage by reducing the prongs on his crown. Feels like the edges of his ruff and gloves could be a bit more streamlined, though:

Because the ruff and glove edges were drawn with the same fluffy-looking texture, I thought they might be made of the same material. Upon closer inspection, though, it seemed like you might have been going for a more lacy, frilly material for the gloves. How a material will look in a drawing depends on several factors, including how thick, rough, and flexible it is in real life. I recommend the Etherington Brothers’ awesome tutorials on drawing different pieces of clothing if you haven’t checked them out already.

Most of this redline is pretty self-explanatory; mainly notes concerning extremities and size variety. Just as an experiment, I tried out a moon shape for Stolas’ brooch, as the star motif is already clear enough without the brooch itself being a star, plus a circle would cut back on line mileage and reduce the risk of forming awkward tangents with the cape and ruff.

I think the version with the purple vest works better since it lets his body stand out from the red of the cape rather than blending into it. You might use slightly darker values for his sleeves, glove edges, and bottom edge of his shirt, though, as they’re fighting with his face for attention. Usually (not always, but usually), a main goal of character design is to draw attention toward the character’s face rather than away from it. If the facial area has a higher value contrast than the rest of the design, that’s where the viewer’s eye will immediately go.

Seems like the stars on his feathers, because they’re so bright, are also competing with his face. An easy way to remedy this digitally is to create a layer mask for the layer the stars are on, and paint swaths of black with a large, soft brush. This will give the stars a naturally “dimmed” look and add a touch of realistic depth. It’s also easy to pick out certain stars to make brighter than others (using white on the mask) rather than leaving every star to fight for visual dominance. Here’s a quick star field I painted on my own, with the left side without the mask and the right side with it for comparison.

Hope that helps!

[beware-of-the-princess]

Having Ana as a plus-sized princess was always an important part of this project, but it certainly came with its complications. The first of which was that every artist collaborating on this project brought with them a different approach and level of experience with drawing big characters! Parts of this image look weird because it got warped, edited and partially redrawn quite a bit as Ana's look was fine-tuned and the artists tried new ways of drawing her- in particular drawing her bigness.

There were a great many tightropes we were trying to find balance on with Ana's size. Open any fantasy book and you're likely to find a beautiful but stuck-up princess... but very few of them are big. How many people would see Ana and assume we made her fat as a shorthand for being "ugly on the inside too"? Especially if we include details which usually aren't associated with beauty, like stretch marks or sag? This wouldn't be much a problem if Ana was the kind of fantasy character that is expected to have a rounded design, like a kindly, motherly lady-in-waiting, but Ana is the complete opposite!

We also didn't want to give Ana only the features that big women are "allowed" to have, like a curvy rear end or a full bust. We felt it was important to put emphasis on features that young women her age and size are pressured to feel the most insecure about. Ana's chubby arms or double chin don't impede her strutting into a room as she firmly believes a princess ought to: With absolute confidence that jaws will hit the floor in amazement.

But that last point just brings up yet another balancing act. While she might generally be an unstoppable juggernaut of confidence- to the extent where vanity is very much one of her flaws, we also didn't just want to have Ana be drawn big but otherwise completely ignore it. Anyone who grew up in the 90's remembers the slew of disabled characters who, despite being in wheelchairs or whatever, didn't have their disability affect their character in any way or face any challenges stemming from it. In the same way, we felt like it would be hollow to talk about representation and body positivity while failing to acknowledge any of the challenges that fat people (particularly women) face. There's a lot more to say about Ana and the other side of representation, but this post is already too long without going into neurodivergence.

With so many pitfalls to avoid, we included the following at the start of Ana's section of the big character document that we use to keep things consistent between collaborators:

Designing Ana has certainly been quite a process, and I think something that demonstrates that well is just how different she looks in this more recent picture which we've been using to play dress-up with her.

I also wanted to give a small acknowledgement of all the wonderful artists out there that who have shared their processes for drawing big characters or even just whose art has served as inspiration. There's too many to mention, but the names @mayakern @jijidraws and @sergle have come up over and over again while working on this.

P.S. If you want to use this to play dress-up with Ana yourself, then please feel free! I only ask that you somehow let me know what awesome outfits you've come up with for her.

[zenixromeave]

sasha outfit review (MCD, MYS & PDH)

mcd original

SLAY BITCH FUCKING  SLAY THIS GOES SO HARD

Color coordination on point! The gloves/arm warmers don’t make a whole lot of sense, but they look cool! The vest is killing it! God this fucks. Her hair is more sideswept than even a lot of the other female characters (who all have sideswept hair basically), which I think is a nice touch in making her look a bit more alternative. It makes her look like she’s got the side of her head shaved or something along those lines.

Unfortunately, she isn’t really shown in any good lighting in this outfit, from what I can see. The shoes really don’t seem to make sense though, but I’ll mind my business. She looks good.

-

mcd (disguise)

Boooooo!

Okay, I’m exaggerating, but this outfit is nothing compared to her first one. It’s still pretty cute, it just doesn’t match the setting nearly as well though. She got the Woman Treatment and has the exact same hairstyle as every other girl now. It doesn’t suit her as much as her previous hairstyle did, but it does still fit her better than it does a lot of the other characters.

She looks so pasty.

Her hoodie-dress is cute, but I certainly won’t be the first one to say it doesn’t make a lot of sense in this world. The gradient of the boots also really doesn’t make sense. She’s still killing it though.

-

Sasha selling ice cream (Side stories)

This is pretty bland, and the small size of her clothing makes it very obvious there’s no shading on it, but it’s still cute. Basic, but cute. Probably better than some of her Mystreet outfits, TBH.

-

PDH uniform

Ugh. Somehow she rid her of all of her gothgirl charm. The original fringe returns though, which is a plus. The greys on her chest are absolutely incomprehensible though. It’s impossible to tell what’s her hair and what’s her shirt.

Some of the female characters in PDH have different, unique socks to show their personalities through their uniforms (Katelyn’s no-shows, Lucinda’s tights), and Sasha should have been a prime candidate for this. Thigh highs, garters, or even just black socks or socks with designs on them are already a popular trend in alternative subcultures, so giving her something like that would have added more interest to her character so easily. I’m sorry this happened to you girlie.

-

PDH casual

Why is she always sitting in the grass...?

Jess clearly doesn’t know what actual goth fashion looks like, but it still looks nice enough. I could be wrong, but the shirt looks like an off-the-shoulder with a sheer shoulder-cover, which is a cute idea which is at least moderately in-line with the kind of subcultures she’s supposed to be in. The ripped jeans are an obvious choice, but not a bad one. The shoes are very bland, but personally I can’t blame Jess for not giving her 6 inch Demonia creeper 69s or something. The mauve color doesn’t really work in making her look goth but it does succeed in making her have a nice cohesive color scheme and still being subdued enough that it doesn’t combat her deadpan, gothic character-- nor does it detract from the brightness of her eyes which bring audience attention to her face and give her a mysterious look.

-

Mystreet season 3

Oh this sucks ass

Multi-toned purple sweater again, but this time it’s way more vibrant and more on the pink side (was regular purple not feminine enough? ‘,:T ) This time, too, the purple stripe along her shoulders is way too high contrast in reference to the rest of the purple, making the darker stripe at the bottom of her sleeves- which is bordered by black- basically completely unnoticable as the viewers attention is drawn to the lilac top. On that note, however, the stripe is doing a good job at drawing interest towards her face, which is an unexpected positive.

The bottom of this outfit is absolutely incomprehensible. It looks like she’s wearing a pleated, dark purple miniskirt on top of pink and black checkered tights and bright purple shoes. The skirt isn’t so bad, but since the bottom of the sweater bodice is lacking the same two stripes as are present on the sleeves, it gives the appearance that the sweater is tucked in to this small skirt, and, on top of that, the skirt is very low down on her person for something which has a shirt tucked into it, making her torso look very long and taking away from the intended effect of a miniskirt. Then, because the socks and skirt don’t have any layered effect and the socks are darker than the skirt, it sort of gives the impression that the tights aren’t tights, and more like pants, which the skirt barely fits on top of. The pink of the tights is also so dark it’s hard to see the checkerboard pattern. I’m not going to comment on the shoes. We can all see them. I don’t know what the hell is going on there.

My main gripe really is this skirt. It looks like she’s tucked her sweater into her miniskirt and is equally trying to fit said skirt over a pair of thick pants. I can’t even complain about her footwear because I don’t understand it.

Sorry you ended on such a bad note, Sasha.

[theepisceswriter]

AOT CHARACTERS WITH A CHUBBY/THICC/PLUS SIZE S/O (Porco, Connie, Erwin, Reiner)

A/N: I know there’s a ton of headcanon posts out there like this already, but my THICC girls deserve all the love

TW: mostly just fluff, some suggestive themes, mentions of food/eating, fembodied!reader (she/her pronouns), 18+

PORCO GALLIARD

Healthy relationship weight; that’s it. That’s the headcanon post for Porco.

But really, you two are the type of couple that goes out all the time together and 80% of that time is spent out eating, so the both of you have both put on a couple of pounds compared to how you were at the beginning of your relationship. But it fits the two of you so well that neither of you care, y’all still are going to doordash and go out to try new food all you want!

Definitely have a picture of you two somewhere in your camera roll of you two posing in the mirror with your post-eating bloated bellies sticking out.

Let somebody even give you the slightest side-eye or a look that Porco doesn’t like in public and he’s all over them in a minute. “The fuck are you looking at? Mind your business before I give you something to mind.” It doesn’t even have to be concerning your body, Porco is just that protective over you.

He’s very affectionate with you in public. Always pulling you into hugs, wrapping his arms around you from behind, poking at your stomach or thighs, and gripping his favorite part of your body which is *cough* your ass *cough*.

You most definitely have bruises on your ass from sessions in the bedroom and his favorite position to have you in is you on top in reverse cowgirl so he can watch it bounce while he smacks it.

CONNIE SPRINGER

You could be minding your business on the couch watching tv and here he comes out of nowhere squishing your stomach and running away before you can do anything to him about it. Also, you kinda likes it when he does it but shhhh.

You know how when you wear crop tops sometimes you’ll have that little chunk of skin on your sides that’ll hang out? That’s his favorite part to squeeze and mess with because he knows it tickles you when he does it.

At one point, he’s drawn a face on your stomach and you moved it so it looked like it was talking. The two of you were dying laughing in the room for like an hour cracking jokes and you even gave it a name; Vincent.

Anytime you have skin exposed he just has to leave a bunch of soft kisses there.

After a long day of being Connie, he runs up to you like a baby and just flops down on top of your body murmuring about how soft and comfortable it is and falls asleep on your like three minutes later. His favorite position to sleep with you in is him laying on your chest with one hand in your bra squeezing your boob for warmth and security.

If you haven’t noticed already his favorite part of your body is your boobs. You definitely have a video of him in your phone motor-boating them like his life depended on it. He can spend hours just focusing on your breasts because he loves them so much. Sometimes when you’re watching movies together and cuddling he’ll randomly pull them out and start sucking on your nipples like it’s a regular hobby to be doing.

ERWIN SMITH

Erwin is a grown man, he is not worried about his significant other having a little bit of meat on her bones. If anything he prefers a partner with a little bit of extra fluff so he has something to grab on while he’s demolishing you in the bedroom.

He can’t get enough of your body. Even in a non sexual setting his hands are always on you tracing over your hips or just wrapping his arm around your torso to keep you close to him. He doesn’t have a favorite body part of yours because he adores your whole body.

He’s very verbally affectionate with you, especially on days when he can tell you’re not feeling all too confident with your body.

“Those jeans compliment your body nicely” “I like the way that shirt hugs your curves” “You look like a renaissance painting right now. A sculpture people should be worshiping.” + some quick kisses to your lips and body parts throughout the whole day because he’s such a gentleman like that.

Call him a chubby chaser and watch his whole face go red and him cough as he tries to dispute your claim.

His favorite thing to do with you is to go to stores and pick out things that he thinks would compliment your body nicely and have you try them on in the dressing room. By the third outfit your shopping trip is cut off because he’s so horny from watching you try everything on that he just has to have you right then and there. Of course, you leave the store with everything you tried on and go home with even more outfits to try on for him later on that night.

REINER BRAUN

Big boi + big gorl = the combo we all need in our lives.

Who’s tiddies are bigger? Trick question, but you probably compare yours all the time and tease Reiner for his pecks.

“Babe you could probably fit into one of my sports bras at this point.” Not saying that the two of you have definitely tried to see if that was true, but the two of you have definitely tried to see if it was true one time

Cuddling is his favorite thing to do with you. Everything on you is so squishy, soft, and comfortable, he could never get enough of you. Best believe he’ll come in from work and will immediately bury his face into your belly. No words or anything, just immediately plows his face into your belly and falls asleep because it’s so comfortable to him.

Don’t even get him started on your thighs. He will never get enough of how soft your thighs are and how good and warm they feel when you have them wrapped around his ears like ear muffs. If the two of you are watching tv or any sort of activity that allows the two of you to be side by side, he’s going to lay his head down on your thighs if they’re exposed and use them as pillows.

He’s such a strong man. During sex he’ll contort your body into different positions with ease, let you sit on his face completely, and pick you up when he wants to be extra freaky and fuck you against the wall or something.

His favorite part of your body is your thighs 110%

[onebizarrekai]

v3′s art is comically terrible for a professionally distributed game in a series: a compilation

in this not-essay I will list all of the mistakes and problems I have spotted in v3′s art. don’t worry, it’s entirely for fun and I’m doing this on a whim, so please feel free to not take this seriously but also it’s hilarious and embarrassing how ridiculous this is like what happened did they speedrun the whole production or what

see, there are some things you can take as meta like “they made it bad on purpose to allude to the downfall of tv shows that have been on air for much too long” but I have a very strong feeling this is not the case due to the nature of some of these errors

disclaimer, the more I study this art, the more I fear that the artists were underpaid and underslept, so if this is in fact the case, I am so sorry to all of them but also I’m going to make fun of the art anyway

anyway let’s get started!

if you study this image for longer than 5 seconds, you will see that kaede is the only one fully shaded and keebo is literally just his normal sprite pasted into the image. every other character is just an ordinary ref, hence most of them facing the exact same direction with neutral expressions on their faces. it looks like a bad edit, and is probably one of the worst pieces of art in the game. it kind of gets better from here on, but my roasting will not.

with that out of the way, here’s the problem that officially bothers me the most and clarifies my viewpoint of “this is not meta and an actual lack of company communication”

this freaking cg, which seems normal at a glance, but some wiseass was like “oh, kaede is a girl, so obviously she’s going to be shorter than the Male Protagonist™” ah, that’s funny. because if you look at the character bios, kaede is, in fact, one inch taller than shuichi and not like 6 inches shorter as she is shown here.

also shuichi’s shoulder is disproportionate and horrendous and he looks vaguely like a jojo character, but I wasn’t even thinking about that until right now.

thanks guys, 50% of the fandom who has never bothered to check these bios thinks that kaede is like 5′3 (did the developers really put so little thought into her to the point where drawing her correctly in the game didn’t even matter??)

also I would like to point out that, even though this isn’t related to the art itself, yes, a character kaede’s size being only 117 lbs is unfeasible, but this applies to literally every character in danganronpa ever and it’s not new news that it’s unrealistic

update: someone in the tags informed me that in versions of the game that use centimeters, like the japanese version, kaede is actually shorter than shuichi, which just adds another thing to the list of weird decisions the localization team made for no reason. that said, after confirming this, kaede is 167 cm in the original, while shuichi is 171 cm, which are approximately 5′6 and 5′7 respectively, but one inch is still nowhere near as drastic as it is depicted above. (in spite of this, I would rather depict kaede as slightly taller, so I’m probably going to keep doing that.)

the journey continues!

bro if you want kaede to have shoulder length hair then stick to it to begin with

you can pretend this is at an angle all you want but they definitely committed the shorter kaede sin a second time

wait a goddamn second.

DO YOU SEE THIS

no………… it wasn’t kaede who shrank. it was shuichi who got taller

speaking of which, can we talk about how shady the perspective is in this elevator pic? look at shuichi and kokichi in comparison to kaede. kokichi, who is canonically 7 inches (edit: or 5, if you’re loyal to the original) shorter than kaede, looks taller than kaede. he’s growing too. what steroids are these gays taking

running into the room, electric boogaloo: I don’t think tsumugi is supposed to be the same height as kokichi

gonta… gonta you’re lookin a bit like a jojo character there

I love how kaito’s head looks kind of like it was pasted onto his body. why is he the same size as shuichi? shouldn’t he be high school bully size or something? his torso is teensy

ah yes, white angie.

I love this cg but why is shuichi’s right hand so much bigger than his left hand

I also love how this cg looks like they literally took pictures of trees and pasted them into the background, especially on the left. the shadows are so weird, especially closer to the ceiling, it’s difficult for me to believe they didn’t do exactly that.

return of Enlarged shuichi

puberty update: kokichi is now taller than shuichi in spite of shuichi never missing leg day. what crimes will he commit

I have to mention it, guys. this has to be one of the worst danganronpa cgs. kokichi’s facial proportions look atrocious. look at the way his face sticks out like his jaw is in the wrong place. his scarf is a pasted texture. that’s it. this moment was so iconic but the cg just looks so… so… off. like something is terribly wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.

you know what? let’s get into that ‘pasted texture’ thing.

let’s imagine you’re an artist working on a professional game. you’re assigned to draw cgs of kokichi ouma, who has a checkered scarf from hell. sure, it will be terrible to draw, but you only have to draw it once at a time! plus, perspective is pretty important, right? can you be bothered? nah, actually. let’s just copy paste a checkered pattern into the cg, because I’m sure nobody will notice. it’ll blend right in with the other cgs that someone actually put effort into drawing his scarf in, right?

no. the answer is no and I very much noticed. this genuinely looks terrible and I would understand taking a shortcut like that in fanart or even an indie game but this is a full price pc and console distributed game

(an addition: look at kokichi’s TINY HANDS in that last one)

meanwhile, they straight up forgot to color in kokichi’s scarf in this cg.

dude. I forgot about whatever the hell this cg was. anyway look at keebo please just look at him

lovin kaito’s baby arms

real talk, maybe you could argue that he’s missing muscle because he’s deathly sick, but most of his cgs don’t line up with this, and his arms just look disproportionate to his torso size (granted this is a consistent problem across all danganronpa games and a lot of characters have this weird problem, like hajime, but also kaito is bigger than hajime so I kind of have higher expectations of him) maybe it’s his stupid goatee and the way he reminds me of yasuhiro?? it creates this illusion that he’s older than he is and so I keep expecting him to look more like an adult

oh, also rantaro is missing some of his accessories in that video he made–you know the one–but I don’t wanna go back and screenshot it

also you may have noticed that I’m skipping all of the monokub cgs because I literally do not care about them and I’m not even bothering to check and see if they have artistic mistakes in them

JIMMY NEUTRON???

hey um uh kaito you seem to be missing your neck

hey guys do you like my pregame fanart

so, that done, the sprites are also pretty terrible at times. they’re not as interesting to go through, however, and downloading the full sprite sets for every character and studying every single one of them will drive me insane, so I’ll just sum some of the ones I noticed up. I made things for kaede and shuichi before deciding I wasn’t going to get into it, so here are these.

that said, other mistakes include kokichi missing his purple highlights in all of the sprites encompassing a specific pose, stray pixels all over the place on everyone, and everyone also has heavily inconsistent shading, but literally all I think about is how pregame shuichi is unshaded and two of kaede’s pregame sprites have glaring outfit change mistakes in them

anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my ridiculous ramble. in all seriousness, there’s this looming presence of some lack of communication in the development team, like with all the art and design inconsistencies, pieces and sprites that look rushed, stray pixels, and missing basic proportional stuff. these are the kinds of things that you supposedly have to pretty much have in the bag in order to get jobs in professional businesses, so it’s really weird to me that this game suffers from so many of these problems. it’s like they tried to make the art so much more crisp than the other games, but it fell on its face as they realized it was going to take longer to draw everything and they started to rush. it’s weird, because the coloring itself looks normal–it’s just sloppily drawn, and the proportions are a mess once put into the context of perspective. many of the cgs look like they were drawn by different people, and I’m still not over the fact that half of kokichi’s cgs have his scarf pasted in as a texture.

the moral of the story is that if you’re selling a game at full price that also happens to be in a series that has had 3 very good games in it already the stakes should probably be higher than this. v3 has been out for more than 3 years and it’s still $40 (did it cost more than that before? I sure hope not), and the overarching quality of the game is just not as high as the other games. I’m not saying that the other games don’t have any problems with their art at all, they’re just not as glaringly obvious and every artistic choice in those games feels intentional.

regardless, I had a blast roasting the art at 2am, so maybe you got a kick out of all this chaos.

[angelanimedesaray]

Wings in the Dark Chapter 9:  Thorns on the Rose

AN:  It took me forever to come up with this title lol  And I can’t begin to explain how much I adored all the feedback...and how tempted I was just to let you all squirm for a few days just for the heck of it XD

ik, ik, I’m evil, what’s new (She says, sipping from the mug that says Tears of My Readers.  No really, I own a mug that says that. It’s my favorite).

I swear the delay isn’t because I wanted to make you squirm, though, I really had some troubles near the end and had to work through them PLUS decide to chop of my initial plans for half this chapter and shove them into the next chapter because this one was already so damn long XD

Characters:  Levi, Fem!Vampire!Reader, Erwin

Pairing:  (Eventual) Levi x Fem!Vampire!Reader

Warnings:  Language, Allusions to Trauma, Antagonization, Mentions of: Death, Violence, Near Death, Blood, Murder.

Word Count:  9183

<----Previous Chapter    Masterlist     Next Chapter----> 

*Levi’s POV*

When Levi came to, he felt lethargic and disoriented.  His head was pounding, limbs heavy, and he even found breathing to be tiresome and difficult.  Something that would have normally been alarming, if he could think straight.

What day was it?  Was it night or day?  Where was he?  Why did he feel like there was somewhere he needed to be, something he needed to do?

He attempted to move his arms to start to sit up, opening his eyes briefly before immediately closing them as the world spun around him, the bright light painful on his eyes.  A groan rumbled in his chest but didn't make it past his lips as he slowly started to sit up, using the soft surface below him as a sense of stability and direction while the world was spinning around him.  As he sat up, something sheer and soft slid off his bare skin, scratching against something that was covering his lower torso.

Levi opened his eyes more cautiously this time, squinting against the light that came in through the window as his vision slowly came into focus on the familiar room around him.

His room.  His bedroom.

What the hell was he doing in bed?  He never slept in his own bed--it was there for decoration more than anything else.  If he'd fallen asleep it would have been in just own chair.

And why was everything in his head such a confused mess?  He shouldn't be this disoriented right now, why couldn't he remember...remember…

Levi lifted a heavy hand to his head, fingers digging into his hair as he tried to remember how he got here, what had happened before he'd fallen asleep?

Wait, there were...bandages on his head?  Had he been knocked out by something?  Some freak accident?

Right, he hadn't fallen asleep...he'd fallen unconscious because…

Levi looked down, finally noticing the bandages wrapped around his middle as well, covering his abdomen with a few strips wrapped over his shoulder to keep them in place.  His hand lowered carefully to his middle, hand pressing tenderly for a wound, for some reason expecting to see blood gushing everywhere or to at least start seeping through the bandages.

The skin underneath was tender, sensitive to the touch and admittedly painful now that he was aware of it, like one large bruise or burn. Except, he knew that wasn't what was underneath the wrapping.

He remembered...blood.  Lots of it, seeping out of a hole in his stomach, a hole ripped through him by the broken debris of a warehouse.  He'd been losing blood so fast, staining his shirt, his skin, his hands, the floor...he'd known the moment he realized he'd been impaled he was going to die.

So why wasn't he dead?

Why had he gone to the warehouse in the first place?

The door to his room--the office portion--opened without anyone knocking, and Levi looked up in surprise.  Considering the lack of an inquiry, he assumed it was Erwin coming inside.  They cut right through his office without hesitation, heading right towards his bedroom door to reveal--

His stomach lurched, panic started to try and rear its head from his chest.

Red eyes, burning skin, a necklace, arms that threw him through walls and into the wood that impaled and should have killed him, an arm pressed against his lips, forcing blood into his mouth and holding fast to keep him from spitting it out though he still tried, in vain, to do just that, hands over his mouth and nose, cutting off his air until his body grew so desperate for oxygen it swallowed the blood in his mouth on a reflex.

Hands pressed against his fatal wound to try and stop the bleeding, arms that pulled him free from the wood he'd been impaled upon, a voice that tried desperately to keep him awake even when he lacked the strength to stay conscious any longer.

Even with some of the answers she was still a damn enigma.

L/N walked through his bedroom door as if it was perfectly normal for her to be here, a tray with teacups and freshly brewed tea on one hand while the other was opening and closing doors.  She was completely unharmed--no burned skin, no line on her neck where his blade had drawn blood, no fucking gash across his chest where he'd cut her open trying to get her to stay away from him.  Her eyes were back to their normal color, not a hint of red in them or on the clothes she'd clearly changed.

How long had he been unconscious?

No, that was a secondary question, he had more important things to worry about right now.  Like how casually she'd just walked into his room, the fact that she was in his room, when he knew what she was.

The sheets that had covered him were thrown aside as she entered the room, the world tipping dangerously as he tried to swing his feet out of bed and get to his feet, tried to get to a position he could fight back.  L/N moved in a blur, not even trying to hide her nature anymore as she sat the tray of tea down on the closest surface and practically appeared in front of him.

"You shouldn't be out of bed, yet, you're still not--"

Ignoring what she was saying, Levi reached out and grabbed a fistful of the front of her shirt.  With far more effort than he would ever admit, he pushed her backwards, his own steps staggering and unsteady as he followed her, pushing her up against the wall, eyes glaring murderously at her and effectively silencing whatever else she was about to say.

They stood there for several moments, Levi's heavy breathing filling the room, L/N's hands up at her sides with palms out, meeting his gaze and appearing infuriatingly unsurprised by his reaction.

He wanted to just kill her here and now.  Fuck, he shouldn't have hesitated back in that warehouse, things wouldn't have ended in his…

He wasn't dead.  He was certain he wasn't dead.  He hadn't died...had he?  He should have.  He'd been at the brink of dying the last he remembered.  She'd been yelling at him not to die because her blood...her blood needed more time to heal him.

Levi's grip on her shirt tightened, fabric straining and threatening to rip.

He should have fucking killed her when it was simply man verses monster, because now she'd saved his life, and he didn't know what to do.

He had to accept that this situation was a lot more...complicated then he'd originally thought, and that he didn't understand what was happening.  And if he didn't understand the situation, he couldn't approach it properly.

"I don't trust you," he growled out in a low voice.  Again, she was unsurprised.  It was probably one of the only stable facts between them right now.

"But…" his fingers flexed, adjusting the grip he had on her.  "I will listen one time, and this time you'll answer our questions."

"Our?"

"Erwin will be there. Whatever I know, he'll know, and I don't want to be repeating shit."  Levi centered his gaze on her again, expression dark and hard.  "One time, and then we'll decide what to do with you."

Levi waited until she gave a slow nod to show she understood before he released her, hearing a little slide against the wall that told him he'd lifted her slightly--he hadn't even been aware.  Turning away, Levi attempted to get back to the bed before his strength left him, but his knees buckled and he started to collapse before he even made it halfway there.

L/N caught him before he could hit the floor.

"Your interrogation will have to wait.  You still haven't recovered enough to really get out of bed," she told him, helping him get to the bed before he pushed her off to let him do the rest by himself.

She backed off and let him struggle to get back into the bed, going back over to the tray of tea she'd brought in the first place to start pouring the cups as she spoke.  "You've been out for a couple days.  People have been asking questions, which I haven't answered. I've just been saying it's your business and leaving it at that.  You can probably expect a visit from Commander Erwin any day now--you can tell him whatever you want, then."

"What did you do to me?" Levi cut in, fists planted in the bed as he tried to make sense of what had happened, how despite all odds he was sitting in this bed with some creature of the shadows attempting to have casual conversation with him as if he hadn't tried to kill her, as if she hadn't almost killed him and hadn't killed so many others before him.

She looked at him in silence for a brief moment, as if sizing him up before she approached with a cup of tea in hand.

"My blood can heal most injuries, if there's enough time.  It's gross, and it's risky, but it was your only chance given the situation. But it was also cutting it close."  She held out the cup of tea, and Levi eyed it distrustfully. A bit of annoyance crept through her voice, and she held it a little closer to him without spilling it everywhere.  "No it's not your usual black tea--it's an herbal blend that should help your recovery, so I suggest you drink it anyway."

When he still seemed reluctant, she grabbed his hand and placed the cup in it to make him hold it.  "I'm not going to have gone to all this trouble to save your life just to poison you with tea at least half a dozen people saw me making or on my way here with."

Honestly, he wasn’t sure he could stomach anything right now after hearing that.  She’d made him drink her blood.  The thought alone made him nauseous as he stared down at the tea whose fragrances were doing nothing to help settle his nausea.

L/N sat down next to him instead of retreating to a chair in the room or leaning against the wall, making Levi stiffen and shift away, glaring at her and about to tell her to get the hell away from him.  She reached out with a hand to grasp his chin, which made Levi glare daggers at her and pull out of her grip, his free hand knocking her hand out of the way.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he seethed, on the brink of trying to clock her in the jaw if she didn’t get out and leave him alone.

“Checking something.  Believe me, this is a quick exam you want me to make.  I said there were risks for healing you the way I did, didn’t I?” she said seriously, her gaze sharp and analyzing as they swept across his features.  The way she said it made him even more nauseous, the bad feeling settling deep into his gut.

She kept her hands off this time, though it also meant she got closer, staring intently into his eyes before she started asking questions.

“How’s the light?  It’s not too much, causing any discomfort or headaches?” she asked, and it was at that point Levi realized the lighting in the room was all natural sunlight.

“No.  A bit at first, not now,” he said shortly.

“Does your jaw hurt?  Feel like there’s a stabbing pain, like a tooth trying to break through?”

“What?  No.”

Levi leaned away from her, unsettled by the questions he was being asked as well as her close proximity.  Surprisingly, she got to her feet with a small nod, closing her eyes and letting out a relieved little sigh.  “Good.  I just wanted to make sure.”

Levi’s gaze tracked her as she went back to the tea tray, trepidation bubbling up in his gut.  “What were the risks?” Levi asked in a deceptively steady tone.

She hesitated in answering him, which was alarming in and of itself, but she ended up choosing not to try and hide it from him.

“If you’d died with my blood in your system, you would have turned into what I am.”

Levi felt numb, except for the painful pounding in his chest and the ring in his ears at her words, his breaths cutting against his lungs.  She turned to face him, looking worried, but Levi spoke before she could say anything else.

“Get out.”

The words were heavy and harsh against the silence of the room, and she took another step forward with hesitation, her concern momentarily outweighing her caution.

“Get the fuck out,” he spat venomously, glaring at her to drive the point home.  She withdrew into that shell of hers instantly, gathering up the few things she’d brought with her, but pausing with her hand on the doorknob, the wooden door partially closed behind her but still open enough to show her back.  He couldn’t see her face, he could just see her hair, the back of her clothes, the corner of the tray.

“I really am glad that you’re alright, Captain.  And relieved that you’re still human.  I suppose I’ll see you soon after you recover.”

She left before he could throw any other scathing remarks her way, leaving him behind in the silence of his room as the reality of what happened in that warehouse started to press in on and crush him until it felt like the solid ground beneath his feet had disappeared and he couldn’t breathe.

Two days later, after Levi filled in a dubious Erwin on the reality of what Y/N L/N was hiding, it was quickly established that a proper interrogation was long overdue, especially since she was willing to cooperate and openly answer questions now.  They just needed to wait until Levi recovered enough he could move around without drawing attention to his injuries.  He’d already been a fast healer, but with L/N’s...help...he recovered in record time.  Erwin didn’t say anything, but Levi suspected Erwin wondered if Levi had ever actually been hurt, considering he’d never even seen a wound from him.

Erwin hadn’t seen what Levi had seen, he didn’t have the visual proof, just Levi’s word.  Even trusting Levi’s word wasn’t enough for this.  They were going to have to do something to show him the validity of Levi’s claims.

Still, Erwin trusted him enough to arrange for the secret interrogation, one that was going to be done in the dungeons, with L/N handcuffed behind bars in a cell while Levi and Erwin stayed on the other side.  Levi wasn’t sure how much good a few pieces of iron were going to be in holding her back, but it was the best they could do.

Well, that and something else that Levi expected massive resistance over.

True to her cooperation so far, L/N agreed on the secret meeting in the basement, the three of them rendezvousing in the dungeons in the middle of the day while most of the Scouts were out busy fulfilling duties or enjoying time off with their family or friends.  Erwin had glanced between the two at the palpable, hostile tension coming from Levi and the attempt at indifference L/N seemed to be trying to exude in return to Levi’s hostility.

Erwin had already tried to suggest he do most of the talking, but Levi had turned him down flat.  Normally, yes, he let Erwin take the lead for these kinds of things--but this had started to cross over into personal a while ago, and he had questions of his own he was going to have answered.

“Pardon the precaution, but if you don’t mind,” Erwin said politely, putting the cuffs on her before stepping aside and holding an arm out towards the cell that was currently open and waiting, a chair already situated on the other side of the bars for her to use.

Levi could have sworn he saw a flash of amusement in her eyes, which confirmed his theory the bars and cuffs did nothing but give an illusion of safety.  Still, she went inside without a comment, picking up the chair and bringing it over to the wall, setting it with its back to the wall so she was facing the opposite stone wall instead of facing them directly on the other side of the bars.  While she was adjusting her chair and taking her seat, Erwin shut and locked the door, taking up the seat facing the cell while Levi moved over to the bars, leering inside at her.

“We’ll be taking that necklace, too.  So you don’t make a break for it in the meantime,” he added.  As expected, she cast him a sharp look, the reluctance clear on her face.  “Unless, of course, you were lying about being so cooperative.”

She cast him a dirty look at the clear attempt to back her into a corner where she would have to hand it over as a show of good faith, but to his mild surprise, she reached up and carefully undid the necklace she’d nearly killed him trying to get back in the warehouse, coming over to stand in front of him at the bars of the cell and holding it out for him to take.  When his fingers closed around the medallion and he attempted to take it, her grip tightened instead of released, causing his gaze to narrow slightly at her as the silver chain went taut, and there was a brief spark in the tension between them both.

“I want that back,” she said seriously, holding his gaze for a few seconds more before she released it, the chain falling loosely against his knuckles with the ends left dangling past his closed fist.

“Depends on what we decide after you spin your tale,” Levi returned with a hint of a bite in his tone.  Erwin sighed softly behind him at the antagonizing air between the two, but Levi ignored him, moving over to take up a spot leaning against the wall behind Erwin, finally able to get a good look at this special necklace for the first time.  The chain and the border of the medallion were both silver, with strange engravings along the back of the silver medallion piece in symbols he didn’t recognize.  The medallion, however, was simply a well-polished black fire opal.  Besides that, there didn’t seem to be anything strange, magical, or supernatural about it.  It just seemed like a fancy necklace.

“What’s so important about this necklace, anyway?  I get it lets you go in the sun, but the way you reacted?  There’s more to it than that,” Levi asked, gaze flickering back up to where L/N had retaken her seat in the cell as he tucked the necklace away into a different pocket than he had in the warehouse, just to keep her guessing in case things went south again.

“I’m going to lead this interrogation, Levi, remember?” Erwin reprimanded him steadily.  Levi was unfazed.

“It’s as good a place to start as anything,” Levi said indifferently, eyes still fixated on L/N.

“Then you clearly didn’t think too long on the fact that it lets me walk in the sun,” she said with a sigh, turning her head to meet Levi’s gaze unflinchingly.  “You could say that necklace is the physical manifestation of my freedom.  Without it, I can’t go out in the daylight, yes.  I can’t feel the sun.  Can’t move around in the day and be part of society.  Can’t live on the surface.  Without it I’d be kicked back down into the Underground to try scraping by day after day with no way out, for an eternity.  So yes, I reacted a little strongly when it was taken from me.”

Oh, she wasn’t holding back her verbal punches after that clear dig at him and his past.  This was going to be an interesting interrogation, then.  Levi also planned on putting her through the verbal wringer when it was his turn to field the questions to make sure she wasn’t hiding even a shred of dark intentions or ulterior motives.  And poor Erwin was going to be smack in the middle of it.

“Let’s take a few steps back, so that everyone’s on the same page,” Erwin said in a voice that spoke volumes for the more mediatory role he was slowly getting pushed into.  “Captain Levi’s seen all the evidence he needs to believe this shadow monster theory, but I’m finding it harder to believe without seeing anything to prove it, myself.”

“Vampire.”

“Sorry?”

“Vampire.  Not shadow monster.  There’s an actual name for what I am, even if the people within the walls seem to have forgotten it for some reason.  I’m what’s called a vampire.”

“Vampire, then,” Erwin said patiently.  “The problem still remains, though, that I find it hard to believe.”

“It is rather hard to believe, isn’t it?” she said, getting to her feet to look around the room idly, contemplating how she wanted to prove she was what she said she was--a vampire, apparently.  She eventually picked up a fairly sizable piece of rock and snapped it in half with a display of strength that further solidified Levi’s thought that those bars and handcuffs did nothing to hold her back.  Putting the sharp edge against the inside of her palm, she cut her hand open, angling it in Erwin’s direction so he could watch as the wound healed rapidly in front of them until all that was left was a bit of blood in her palm, not even a faint scar line.  And no steam, like when a Titan regenerated.  “Is that enough, for the time being?  The only other things I can think of to prove I am what I say I am would only make me look a helluva lot more threatening and far less cooperative.”

Erwin had that familiar stoic mask in place as he processed the reality of what Levi had told him with that little display of tangible proof.  At least Erwin had some mental preparation for what she was ahead of time--Levi just had it dumped on him all at once.

When he seemed to reach a point he was satisfied with, Erwin leaned forward, hands folded together and resting against his chin as a hard and serious light appeared in his eyes, focused on L/N on the other side of those bars.

“Levi has already filled me in on what he’s been able to observe, and what he’s heard from local legends.  I’m of the opinion we should get some clarity from you--confirmation or denial on the accuracy of these details, anything we might be missing.  That way we have a better understanding of who we’re dealing with.”

L/N looked away, Levi able to catch the briefest flash of resignation in her eyes as she chose to instead look at the wall across from her again.  “Know thine enemy, correct?”

“Well...whether you’re our enemy or our ally has yet to be decided.  Ideally, we’ll know after we finish talking.”

"What do you want to know?"

For the time being, Erwin took over the interrogation entirely while Levi acted the silent observer, giving her soft questions that were easy to answer and shedding light on the basics of what she was.

"Legends say you're immortal.  Y/N Frazier supposedly died about forty years ago, which would make you--"

"Late sixties, approaching seventies.  Except I don't age, so even though I've been around for that long, I'm frozen in my mid-twenties.  I'll never get a day older."

"And the blood drinking?"

"Unfortunately very true.  So long as I keep a healthy diet of blood in my system, I function like any other human being.  Except, I don't actually need to eat and drink regular food to survive.  It helps me look normal and blend in, I can still enjoy it, benefit from herbal teas, and eating and drinking regular food can help with...cravings."

"Levi’s noted that you go out once a week to satiate your hunger.  That's quite a lot of people to have killed over forty years or longer, if you stuck with the once a week approach."

"It's the diet and lifestyle.  I could go longer without it if I wasn't in a field where I'm likely to be around blood often and need to keep cravings tightly under control.  Not to mention I'm not taking the best quality blood out there, which unfortunately means I need more across a shorter span of time because it doesn't keep me satisfied as long."

"Blood quality?"

"Yeah, the better quality blood, the stronger the vampire and the less often they need to feed.  Animal blood could work in a tight spot, but it would be miserable, and it would be harder to resist human blood constantly denying that basic nature, so it's not an option for me.  People that do a lot of drinking and drugs and other pollutants to their bodies have a lower quality blood, and surprisingly lifestyle has an impact as well.  Certain bloodlines are...exceptional: top tier stuff, like perfectly curated tea leaves."

"And your...diet?"

"A lot of pollutants...bare minimum stuff.  I try to single out people who thrive off the suffering of others, the people doing the really nasty stuff to others where they think no one is looking.  Sometimes I'm rushed, and I don't always have the luxury of a full background check before targeting someone, but I have my standards and tricks for luring the worst people out.  I have lines I don't want to cross.  It satiates my hunger, but I could do better.  I just refuse to feed off innocent people...like most vampires seem to do."

“What if you didn’t feed off anyone?  What happens?”

“Slow and painful starvation over...I don’t know, decades, centuries?  It’s not pleasant.  Someone threatened me with it once and from what I understand its a very slow and agonizing decay over a very, very, very long period of time.” 

"You mentioned how your diet can affect how strong you are--what does it affect?  Levi’s already noticed you have keen senses, fast reflexes, strength, speed…"

"He's not wrong," she said softly.  "One of my first days here I got in trouble for holding back on my fellow cadets.  The problem is, if I don't hold back, someone could get seriously hurt.  I can move faster than the average person--I could probably intercept an arrow, maybe even a bullet.  Reflexes fall into that same category.  I have enhanced senses, definitely.  I can hear your heartbeats, and the heartbeats of the people above us, a mile out if I'm not focusing, a little further if I am.  I've learned to sift through all the excess noise and focus on certain sounds or voices, or to block it out if I need to.  Sight is much sharper than normal, too--as is smell."

Her gaze shifted to Levi, and she directly addressed him once more.  "That's why you couldn't sneak up on me until I was in the Underground.  Then I was distracted and blocking out the smells around me.  Normally, though, you have a very distinct scent--not bad, just distinct--that I grew accustomed to picking up on.  And sometimes the breeze carried it even further.”

Bold of her to address him.  As he listened to her casually discuss her abilities and killing people, his expression had darkened, scowling deeply.  Sure, he could give way on the matter of having to kill to survive.  He could see that much now--at least she had to in order to survive so she didn’t die a slow and painful death, or hurt someone innocent by accident.  But how casually she discussed it, how flippant she sounded talking about taking life--that didn’t sit well with him.

Now, however, as she discussed all of these strengths of hers, all these advantages she had over the rest of him, there was something else that was nagging at the back of his mind.  He remembered the exhilaration in her eyes when she’d killed that Titan despite the close call Eld had in that exact moment, and how he’d been concerned she might not be taking it seriously.  Yes, she’d told him when he was still dying that she joined to help, her intentions there had been pure--she’d felt she could find purpose coming to the Scouts, that maybe the death that followed her just so she could survive could mean something if she dedicated her life and abilities to serving a purpose greater than herself.

Hmm...maybe she did take all the killing she did to survive seriously.  It was hard to tell with her.  She was so flippant and casual talking about it now, but back then, there had been notes of something...deep and unsettling in her voice.  An emotion that didn’t quite have a word to go with it, but revolved around the knowledge of so many people dying so you could live, and wanting to make sure it wasn’t for nothing.

Shit, now wasn’t the time to be sympathizing, he had a purpose here--he was here to seek out any ill intent, and he had to shove aside the sympathizing for her plight or anything else that crept up for later reflection.  Right now was the time to dig in and search no matter how harsh he got with his questions.

And his current concern was that the situation that was life and death, horror and tragedy for the rest of them, was nothing more than a game, a simple change of pace, mere exercise for her.  From the sound of it, between her regeneration and all these enhanced senses, strength, reflexes, speed, all of it, it was like she was fucking invincible.  There was no real risk for her like there was for the rest of them.  All this struggle and sacrifice and suffering from the people around her, and she had nothing to lose, there was no real threat towards her, personally--she didn’t even have to put any effort into it.

Their life and death struggle was like a game to her.

It pissed him off the more he thought about it, until he couldn’t keep a lid on it anymore.

And her directly addressing him like that gave him the opportunity to let the first accusation fly.

Voice low and deadly, chilling as ice, Levi’s hard gaze drilled into her from where he was leaning against the stone wall of the dungeon.  “It’s not even a real risk to you is it, going out there where the rest of us struggle, suffer, and die?  Just a fucking game for you with how fucking invincible you are, from the sounds of it--”

Her eyes flashed, and her voice grew colder to match his chilly tone as she cut him off before he could get too far with his accusation.

“It’s still a risk for me, too.  Maybe not as great, maybe I have a better chance, but it still would only take one wrong step.  Unlike a Titan, I can’t grow back a full limb.  I don’t age, but I can still die.  Some deaths, okay, fine, I’ll come back from it.  I’ll come back from a bullet to the brain, or suffocating to death, or a stab through the heart with a blade.  I can’t come back from decapitation.  Just one bite in the wrong place, and I’m just as fucked as anyone else in that situation,” she said bitingly, taking a deep breath to try and calm down, her tone losing some of its chilling edge as she continued.  “It doesn’t help that my reactions play out faster than the ODM gear can function.  While everyone else was learning how to properly operate the ODM gear and balance and react and all that, I had to focus more on slowing down for the gear than anything else, because if I react too fast at the wrong time, and the ODM gear skips something I was trying to do because I did it too fast, I could sail right into the thing’s arm or mouth.  I might not have been putting in the same kind of effort in the same places as everyone else, but that doesn’t mean there’s not any effort being put in by me, doesn’t mean that I don’t have to be careful as well, that there’s no risk.  Hell, one of my greatest fears is something catching that necklace and causing it to come off in the middle of the day on an expedition.  I’d be fucked, dead in seconds with no shade for protection.  There’s risk for me, too, even if it's a different kind of risk.”

While Levi put her monologue aside for later to mull over, letting it soothe his concerns that she wasn’t taking the expeditions seriously for the time being, Erwin leapt for the reins of the interrogation again.

“So far you have given the impression of invincibility, though.  His concern is justified,” Erwin said diplomatically, and she sighed, visibly calming herself down again.

“I’m not invincible.  I have rules and limitations just like everyone else,” she mumbled, leaning her head back against the stone wall.

“Like?”

Her eyes flickered over to Erwin.  “You can understand why I’m hesitant to be forthcoming about that kind of information.”

“Too bad,” Levi said flatly.  “You agreed to talk and answer questions.  If you don’t answer them, we’ll have to assume the worst.”

And if she wasn’t willing to tell them how she wasn’t invincible, they would have to assume she didn’t want them knowing how to stop her, which would mean she was actually planning something sinister.

“Vampire or not, it's never a comfortable thing telling someone exactly how to kill or stop you,” she mumbled, running a hand through her hair, an uncomfortable look on her face before she reluctantly began to speak.

“I already mentioned being out in the sun unprotected for too long can kill me.  So can decapitation.  A wooden stake to the heart for some reason kills a vampire.  So does burning alive.  I already said that I can’t grow back limbs--my regeneration is slowed down if I’m near death or haven’t fed in a while.  Vice-versa, I heal faster when I’m well fed or I’m feeding.  Oh, here’s a weird one--I can’t enter a living space for a human being unless I’m invited in.  Community places that people rotate out of like inns or the barracks are a grey spot, I can go in there, but private homes, property, anything that is the private living space of a human being I can’t enter without being invited.”

Wait a second...She has to be fucking joking, right?

She was just in his bedroom the other day--she’d carried him back to his office, to his living quarters, without being invited inside.  She’d been in and out of his office running errands for him.

But that first time, when she’d first been made an aid...he’d thought it was odd, but he’d assumed she was trying to be polite but had pushed it to annoying levels.  He distinctly remembered how she’d waited until he had said the words come in before she entered his office for the first time.  She’d been waiting for him to truly invite her in instead of making some vague noise or answering with a simple, yes, what, whatever it was he felt at the time.  After that she hadn’t waited for another come in, she’d just entered his office like a normal person.

He’d had a safe space, a barrier she couldn’t cross between her and him, a place she couldn’t enter unless he allowed it, and unknowingly, he had thrown away that layer of protection.  She’d been well aware that was what he was doing, too.

He felt like some part of his privacy had been invaded, knowing that she shouldn’t be able to enter his office and bedroom, but because of that one time he had invited her in without understanding the consequences, he wasn’t going to get that safe space back.

Her gaze wandered over to Levi, spotting the angry look on his face, and she jumped to her own defense before he could voice it.

“Before you get angry about me being invited into your office, I wasn’t exactly given much of a choice considering I was given a job where that protection barrier was going to come down at some point.  How else was I going to be your aid if I couldn’t come into your office to deliver something or pick something up?  The moment I was made your squad’s aid, it was something that couldn’t be helped.”  She sighed.  “It’s not something I’ve taken advantage of, and I have no intention of doing so in the future, if that makes you feel any better.  But future reference--a good way to keep a vampire out and to maybe pick out a vampire, is to stay vague when letting people into your private spaces.  Don’t outright tell them to come in--just imply it.  A vampire needs specific, verbal permission to come inside, anyone else can just walk right in.  It’s a good habit to have.”

“Anything else?” Erwin prompted before Levi could do anything more but sulk in the background at the revelation that he’d let a vampire into his office and now he couldn’t do anything to take that back.

“Yes--something rather major, actually.”  She got up from her seat and walked over to the bars of the cell, leaning casually forward against them and centered her gaze, once again, on Levi.  “Ever since Petra had me start making your tea, I’ve spiking it--”

He knew he should have thrown out that tea!

“How the hell is that supposed to be reassuring?” Levi fumed, cutting her off before she could finish.  As if finding out about the being invited in thing wasn’t bad enough!

“Let me finish before you bite my head off,” she said with a slight scowl.  “I’ve been spiking the tea with white sage.  The reason I’ve been doing that is because it protects a person from vampires.  It's practically poison to a vampire.  It burns the hell out of us if it touches our skin, it's like swallowing acid if we consume it.  Anyone who has white sage in their system, a vampire can’t safely bite.  Ingesting it will cause enough pain to knock them out, if they ingest enough.  At the very least it will incapacitate them long enough to try to bolt or fight back.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Why spike my tea?”

“Well, first of all, access.  You're the one whose drinks I’ve had access to.  Secondly...remember what I said about certain bloodlines being exceptional?”  She let that comment hang in the air, staring at him until she saw realization spark in his eyes.  His blood--his blood was one of the exceptional ones that would make her stronger if she partook.  “An exceptional bloodline also means it’s harder to resist.  I did it as a precaution.  It’s a damn good thing I did, too.”

When she was trying to save his life.  Her eyes, the noises she made, how much she seemed to be struggling, and yet she didn’t so much as lick the blood off her fingers.  Because when she started making his tea, she’d made his blood poisonous to her so she couldn’t bite him, even if she lost control.

He...didn’t know how to feel about that.

As infuriated as he was at the thought of her purposely tampering with his drinks and violating the gesture of trust it had been to even allow her to make his tea by spiking his drinks, it had been done to protect him--and it already had protected him.  Even if he hadn’t known it at the time.

It wasn’t like she could tell him she was adding white sage to his drinks to prevent her from accidentally killing him some day because his blood was too tempting to resist.  She’d been trying to hide this whole other world, trying to keep her true nature secret--it wasn’t like she could tell him she was going to add white sage to his drinks to protect him.

Don’t think about it too much right now, just absorb the information and move on--how you feel about it can come later, he chastised himself again, once more shutting down the stirrings of sympathy for her that was egged on by these little bits of extra information they were receiving about what she’d actually been doing in the background all this time.

He still had to press some of her buttons to answer a few more questions.  There were still a few questions he had, and he wanted to see how she would react under stress.  If they could trust her to keep a lid on her emotions and keep from losing control.

That seemed to be a running theme for her.  Control.  If she couldn’t keep control of herself, someone could end up seriously hurt.

He’d already almost bled to death in front of her, so that was one trial by fire she’d already passed.  However, he wanted to test out a different kind of self-restraint.  From the sound of it, with all these abilities of hers, she could accidentally kill someone in a fit of rage.

So...did she have enough discipline to keep a tight grip on her own leash?  If anyone was going to test the theory, he was probably the best person to do so, and now was the time.

Keeping that cold and indifferent exterior he’d kept up through this entire discussion, Levi spoke up after a few moments of silence passed, likely from Erwin giving Levi a chance to pursue the discussion about her spiking his tea.

Levi was about to derail this entire interrogation.

"You sure know how to paint yourself as the well-intentioned victim.”  Levi’s chilling tone echoed around the suddenly silent dungeon, his gaze boring down on her without a hint of the sympathy that kept getting stirred up from hearing about the situation she was in, the way she viewed things.  It was just cold indifference he was projecting towards her.  “The only problem is, I don't think someone who isn't above slaughtering her own best friend is anything close to a victim, let alone someone to be trusted.”

She stiffened as he brought up Victoria, her own demeanor rapidly shifting away from that casual posture she’d been keeping this entire time to someone who was ready for a fight.  Levi kept pressing on, sensing he might have found what he was looking for.

“If you're not above that, how the hell are we supposed to take your word for any of this?  How could we possibly trust anything you have to say?"

Her posture was rigid, eyes holding anger and her teeth grit even as she tried to take a calming breath and answer in an even tone.  Erwin, meanwhile, was giving Levi a sidelong look, trying to glean what Levi hoped to find by so clearly antagonizing her.

“I get that you're doing your job and you’re trying to figure out the kind of threat I pose, I get that you don’t trust me and you’re assuming the worst, but for god’s sake ask instead of assuming you know something when you clearly don’t understand anything about it except what I tell you.”

Her eyes flashed dangerously at the end towards Levi, a bite in her voice most people wouldn’t dare to use when talking to him.  Even behind bars, even when she was the one in the position to be interrogated, she didn’t hesitate to bite back, showing a surprisingly strong spirit despite that timid exterior she’d been projecting in public all this time.

He just needed to push a little further, and he could probably coax a reaction out of her.  Hopefully, she really was in control of herself and it wouldn’t result in anything deadly.  If she didn’t have control of herself...well, hopefully the bars would delay her enough to allow him to react fast enough and intercept her.

"It's a legitimate question. If you've been struggling with this violent nature of yours since you were born, and you've already hurt people like Victoria, what’s to say you won't hurt anyone else? That you won't snap, lose control--that we won't be next?"

Bringing up Victoria by name was like he’d said some kind of trigger word.  Her voice dripped with freezing venom, even as deep-running hurt flashed in her eyes, proving that she was, in fact, lashing out.

He finally found a button that set her off, information spilling out of her in a torrent of unbridled emotion stirred up by his brisk, accusatory statement.

"Vampires aren’t born, Captain, they’re made.  Which means a few decades ago I was just as human as you.  Just a regular carpenter’s daughter living in Wall Rose in a no name town, where I probably would have married, had kids, and died in obscurity if I hadn’t been caught in the rain one night and crossed paths with the worst person I could have stumbled upon."

Her cold voice paused, all that chilling intensity focused on Levi and Levi alone, Erwin temporarily forgotten amidst the verbal back and forth they were caught in.  Her words were meant for only him, and she didn't hold back on any perceived courtesy anymore.

“Do you know how a vampire’s made, Captain?  It got mentioned when we talked briefly after you woke up," she said in an almost mocking tone to go with her rhetorical question.  Realization was stirring in the back of his mind as he remembered what that risk had been in saving his life, but she pressed on before the full implications of that fact could settle in.  “A human being has to die with vampire blood in their system.  And then they have to drink human blood to finish the transformation.  I may not know the specifics, if you have to be dead for a certain period of time before the blood makes you a vampire instead of just heals you, if you have to drink from a human in a set time limit--I don’t know any of that.  I didn’t get an explanation.  There was no induction, no passing comment, not even a hint that I wasn’t human anymore.  I woke up unable to remember the night before thinking I was simply sick after catching a cold in the rain, and I went to my parent’s house because it felt like the kind of sick I wanted someone to keep an eye on me for in case it got really bad.”

Details of that "double homicide" flashed in Levi’s mind rapidly, and he felt sick to his stomach as the missing information she provided started to fill in the gaps and bring the larger image into focus in his mind.  As schooled as his expression was, she was staring at him so intently that the realization in his eyes didn't escape her notice.

“Now it’s clicking.  That night before the double homicide Y/N Frazier is now famous for in that town?  I was murdered.  And because I had no explanation or understanding of what was happening to me, I didn’t know to stay away from the people I cared about.  So when Victoria came to visit me…”

She swallowed and looked away when her voice wavered at the end, trying to hide the sudden flash of vulnerability and remorse that came with a haunting memory.

But then her eyes flashed again, and she glared at Levi from the other side of the bars.

“So no, Captain, I didn’t ask for this, and it's not as simple as being born like this.  It was done to me.  I never had a choice.  Maybe try to keep that in mind in the future when you’re fishing for answers instead of blindly accusing me of something.”

Well aware that he’d crossed some kind of boundary after that acidic spiel from her, Levi refrained from poking at what happened that night any further.  He needed to back off that subject--a lot of these subjects, actually--and do some thinking before he said anything else.

As for the interrogation...

One more push, one more time antagonizing her, and he’d back off if it didn't yield anything.

"You still haven't answered my question," Levi said curtly.  And she hadn't.  Instead of answering if she was a threat to them,, she'd gone on a long-winded spiel about her past and how he was making wild accusations..  "All the good intentions in the world won't change the fact that you're a threat to us.  Are you?"

She made a noise of frustration, teeth grinding together in a barely restrained growl of frustration before she stepped back from the cell bars, snapped the chain on the handcuffs without a second thought, clawing the cuff parts off like wet paper and letting them fall to the ground.  Levi straightened up from the wall as she reached for the bars of the cell, stepping in front of Erwin protectively with his arm held out in warning as she bent the bars aside to step right through with a bit of bending and wiggling.  Behind his back, Levi had drawn a knife and was holding it firmly in hand, even if, given the information they’d just received, it wouldn’t do much long-term good.  But it could at least slow her down.

She didn’t move any closer, but Levi wasn’t assured--if anything, he was on edge now, heart rate picking up as they stared each other down.

“Yeah, that’s reassuring--so you’re an unpredictable threat,” Levi said scathingly.  His grip shifted on the knife, flipping it around to a more comfortable position and a better grip he could use to lash out quickly and without warning.  Erwin shifted slightly behind him, but considering Levi couldn’t see him with his attention focused on L/N, he didn’t know how Erwin was reacting to the situation besides that slight shift after seeing Levi’s grip showing he was ready to act.

“Because I am.”

That...was not an answer he’d been expecting.  His head tilted slightly to the side, eyebrows raising.  She didn’t look like she’d suddenly gone crazy.  If anything, she just looked exasperated right now.

Throwing a hand aside as if to gesture to the hole she’d just made in the cell bars, a short, bittersweet laugh escaping her.  “Fucking hell, don’t ever treat a vampire as anything less, because if they are a threat and you give them the benefit of the doubt, its too late.  I get the reaction and intention to treat me as nothing more than a monstrous threat, it’s a healthy reaction, it’s a reaction that would give you a chance against a vampire that didn’t have good intentions, which is most of them.  But if I was really after you I would have just done it and left by now.  I wouldn’t be wasting my time sitting here giving you the best explanation I can muster and enduring the accusations.  And I wouldn’t be going to the lengths that I have to take the necessary precautions to make sure I don’t accidentally hurt someone ever again, especially someone in the Scouts.”

Levi’s grip on the knife behind his back relaxed, and he slowly started to slide it back into its holster, both him and L/N taking a few breaths in the tense silence and gradually calming down from the mood that had tipped towards explosive.

“Look…” she said in a sharp exhale, gaze sliding between Levi directly in front of her, and what she could see of Erwin behind him.  “I can’t tell you that I’m not a risk, because it would be a lie.  Your question shouldn’t be am I a risk, but am I a risk you’re willing to take.  If not...I’ll go quietly, try to find another purpose, I guess.  But I would like to stay, and do what I can, here.”

Behind Levi, Erwin got to his feet, putting a hand on Levi’s shoulder as a silent way to tell him to stand down for the time being, stepping up to the woman in front of them, studying her head to toe.  She let him do so, meeting his gaze unwaveringly despite its intensity.

“Levi, let L/N here have her necklace back.  I think I’ve heard all I need to for now.”

Levi didn’t flinch, didn’t hesitate, didn’t so much as give Erwin a sideways glance.  He simply pulled the necklace out of the pocket he’d stowed it in, holding it out for L/N to take.  She did so hesitantly, looking between Erwin and Levi with an unsure expression on her face, like she wasn’t sure if it was a trick or a test.

“Go back to your duties--I’m sure the rest of Levi’s squad has plenty for you to do while we make our decision,” Erwin said simply, turning to Levi and nodding towards the exit of the dungeon to signal that they were going to leave together.

“I’ll...fix the bars, first,” she said awkwardly, standing in place as they turned to leave like she didn’t know what to do with herself, necklace still in hand instead of around her neck.

She was just as socially awkward as she was sharp when she needed to be.  Underneath that timid hesitation when it came to being around people, to trying to be a part of society again, there was one hell of a strong personality.  It was like being entranced by the delicate petals atop a rose and then realizing when you wrapped your hand around its stem just how thorn-covered it actually was.

That’s what she was.  Not an enigma--a rose, one with soft but vibrant petals and leaves, but sharp thorns running all the way down the stem that wouldn’t hesitate to pierce skin and draw blood.

Erwin turned to give her a small smile, adding in the slightest nod.  “Please.  A cell with a hole in it doesn’t do us much good,” he commented humorously before leading the way for him and Levi out of the dungeon.

Now he could let himself consider everything he’d heard.  And he could already tell it was not going to be easy.

In his mind, the decision between whether or not to let her stay was made.  What was left was to process everything they’d learned and figure out how to move forward.  And in Levi’s case, how to make reparations.

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags:  @humanitys-hottestsoldier @clary-quinn @sunny-flo​ @whalerus​  @thirstyforsometea​

Wings in the Dark Tags:  @regalillegal @animeluver23 @theshylittleelfgirl @queenthorin1 @dilucs-thighs @sociallyanxiousmouse@subtlepjiminie @hakunamatatayqueen @queenofcurse​ @linxiajei17​

[literaryeagle]

For my seventieth Evangelion book review, here is EVANGELION Millennials 2, published by Poplar Sha. This is a new mook (magazine-book hybrid) that came out just a few weeks ago, and as you can probably guess by the title, it is a sequel to the first EVANGELION Millennials (which I covered back in my sixty-sixth review). So this is another mook that is focused on fashion, which is why the cover art in the above image shows Tentative Name: Rei Ayanami wearing a hoodie over her plugsuit. Wow, she looks super stylish like that!

Of course, this publication has new looks for the other pilots as well. Check out this illustration of Asuka, Shinji, Rei, Kaworu, and Mari:

The pilots are wearing clothes from the RADIO EVA brand. Even the bandanna tied around Kaworu's right ankle is from RADIO EVA! By the way, this mook is not available in English or French (although there are a few little bits of English text here and there), but there are plenty of full color pictures. There are also some extra special goodies… more on that later. Keep reading for the rest of the book review, plus a few more pictures!

After the Table of Contents, this mook starts with a recap of the first three installments in the Evangelion New Theatrical Edition (AKA the “Rebuild” movies). This recap mainly consists of several pages of screenshots, accompanied by brief story descriptions and quotes from the movies. There are also a few trivia questions about the dialogue, plus some pics of the Eva pilots in their plugsuits.

The next section is the MAI YONEYAMA Drawn Illustration Collection, which showcases art that Mai Yoneyama has done for the RADIO EVA clothing brand, including the first two images shown in this review. And yes, the cute cover picture of Asuka and Shinji from the first EVANGELION Millennials is also in here!

This is followed by the EVANGELION GOODS 2020 section, which starts with a catalog of new stuff from RADIO EVA. As I explained in my review of the first EVANGELION Millennials, the RADIO EVA brand specializes in everyday wear, and many of their garments tend to reference Evangelion in a subtle way. For example, here is a dress that has flowers on one arm, with the Spear of Longinus embroidered among the flowers:

Usually I find that RADIO EVA's clothes are a bit too plain for my tastes, however I have to admit that dress is kind of cute. Good job, RADIO EVA!

For those who don't need subtlety and would rather express their love for Evangelion in a more overt way, RADIO EVA has a few things for that as well. For example, one of the items shown below is a tote bag that has a Mai Yoneyama illustration of the Eva pilots:

In the above image, the two items underneath the tote bag are subtle ones again. The first is a simple purple hair tie that says "NERV" (the purple color is supposed to represent Evangelion Unit-01), and the other is a red key ring (the color represents Asuka). Oh, and for those who prefer more character merchandise, at the bottom of that page is a figurine of Rei wearing RADIO EVA clothes.

Moving on, the next part of this mook is a catalog of some items from the Evangelion Store, including a mug and a T-shirt bearing the name of the next movie, Evangelion: 3.0 + 1.0 Thrice Upon a Time. After that, there is the OFFICIAL SHOP GUIDE section with pictures and info about various Evangelion shops in Japan. The stores are described in both Japanese and English, to make things easier for tourists... once it's safe to travel again, I guess. Sigh.

Next is the EVANGELION NEWS section, which covers some Eva-related merchandise, events, and exhibits. For example, one of the exhibits is a huge Evangelion Unit-01 in a pool of LCL, located in Kyoto. This Eva is so big that you can pose for a photo standing in the palm of her hand!

After the NEWS, there is a page promoting the Eva Extra mobile app, and then an advertisement for the Evangelion Battlefields mobile game. Here is the Evangelion Battlefields ad:

And finally, on the back cover of the mook, you can see poster art for the upcoming movie Evangelion: 3.0 + 1.0 Thrice Upon a Time. Yay! Sure, you've probably seen this image online already, but it's nice to actually own a physical copy! The picture shows Shinji standing on train tracks. Here it is:

Yes, Shinji is there. He's standing in the distance, so he's very tiny in that picture. As for the film's release date, as you've most likely heard by now the movie was originally supposed to come out a few months ago (June 2020), but unfortunately it had to be delayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic. So the Japanese text at the bottom of the poster simply says "Kinjitsu Koukai" (Coming Soon). Sorry, folks. I know that's disappointing for many people, however it's understandable that safety should come first. Until then, I hope you all stay healthy and safe, so when the movie does come out we can get excited together!  (EDIT, March 2021: The movie's new release date is March 8, 2021!)

Anyway, that's it for the mook itself, which is only 35 pages long. But wait, we’re not done yet! As I mentioned before, some extra special goodies are included. The first item is a white T-shirt that says "The Beast", courtesy of RADIO EVA:

If you're wondering why "The Beast" is written backwards, it's because of Mari's words "Invert mode. Backdoor code... 'The Beast'!". So the designer was inspired by the words invert and back, get it? Well, that and I'm pretty sure the font is a reference to The Beatles. I would make a joke about playing the Evangelion movies backwards to listen for hidden messages, except that actually works in the Evangelion 2.0 movie, during the scene when the Dummy System is activated inside Unit-01! Seriously, it's creepy.

Anyway, getting back to the T-shirt, it's one size only, but of course people come in different shapes and sizes. So in case you're concerned about the fit, I have translated the shirt's measurements as stated in the mook...

Length: approximately 70 cm

Width: approximately 52 cm

Shoulder Width: approximately 46 cm

Sleeve Length: approximately 21 cm

Sleeve Width: approximately 19 cm

I hope that helps! Moving on, the second bonus item is a RADIO EVA sacoche (pouch) with a cross-body strap. It can carry small items, such as a wallet and/or mobile phone. Check it out:

In case it's not clear in the above photo, the pattern on the sacoche consists of Evangelion heads. Here's a closer look at the pattern, so you can see it better:

Overall, I think the best thing about EVANGELION Millennials 2 is Mai Yoneyama's illustrations. She has a good eye for detail, and I think she draws some great poses as well. However, most of RADIO EVA's clothes aren't really to my taste, so when it comes to fashion-related publications I prefer Mode EVANGELION and Mode EVANGELION2. That's just my personal opinion, though. If you love RADIO EVA, you'll probably find this mook a lot more interesting than I did. And that's cool! There are plenty of brands that make garments inspired by Evangelion, so it's nice that they cater to different preferences.

So if this mook (or the included goodies!) looks interesting to you, then please support the artists by purchasing it if you can! Check if your favorite source for buying Japanese books has it, and if not then ask them if they can order it for you. ^_^

Well, that’s it for my seventieth Evangelion book review. I have plenty more Evangelion books to discuss, so keep checking my blog for new reviews!

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

Normal Love and Superheroes: Two - my city

Summary: Leena gets a meeting with the Bruce Wayne himself and a call from John Blake. 

Pairing: John Blake x OFC (Leena Duckett) 

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: none I think...characters discuss Sexy Times and getting drunk but like that’s it I suppose

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

“Why the heck would he want a private tour with me? He asked for me specifically?”

“Look that’s what he said over the phone, Leena.”

“But did he say why?”

“I’m so terribly sorry I didn’t take the time to ask Bruce frickin’ Wayne, one of the biggest patrons of the gallery, why he asked for a tour from you specifically.”

Leena blushed. “Sorry, Adeline. I just…”

“Don’t worry about it.” The blonde sitting behind the welcome desk smiled with a closed mouth. “I’d react the same way if I were in your shoes. A whole hour or more with Bruce Wayne….”

Another tour guide jogged up to the front desk from the bowels of the gallery. Leena turned and watched her approach. Phoebe had a look of conspiracy and impression on her long face. She came to a halt beside Leena and elbowed her in the side.

“So are you gonna take Mr. Wayne into one of the more….Private rooms of the gallery?” Phoebe asked with a wicked smile.

Leena rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the hot feeling that was spreading from her neck into her face. It was no secret about Gotham that Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy, was extremely attractive and constantly single. She saw the tabloid covers as she stood in line at the grocery store. She even ran into him outside of a restaurant one time. But his sexual promiscuity was not what bothered her about giving him a private tour. It was more the fact that he was Bruce Wayne, billionaire enigma businessman that seemed to have intimidation come out of his very pores. Who was she to be giving him a tour of the galleries that he often bought from? A no-name artist who worked two jobs, one of which she hated, to make ends meet? That didn’t sound like the kind of girl that should be giving a Wayne tours of anything.

“No I will not, Phoebe, Jesus!” Leena laughed.

“Oh, come on, have you seen him? Plus, you know he’d be open to it. He’s slept with every hot girl in Gotham and beyond.”

“Just cause he’s slept around doesn’t mean he’d be open to swapping spit in a broom closet with a random gallery tour guide.” Leena rolled her eyes. “Maybe he wants just a normal day out. Like anyone else.”

“God, you’re no fun,” Phoebe groaned.

“I think we know from after hours drinks just how fun Leena can be,” Adeline, the front desk girl, pitched in.

Leena rolled her eyes again and smirked. She always told herself, after those nights out, that she would never fall into the temptation of going again. She always got way too drunk, being a lightweight that fell very easily under peer pressure. And because she always got way too drunk, she always ended up doing something she regretted. Like dancing on top of a table, kissing some random person in the dark corner of the bar they frequented, or possibly recreating dance scenes from Chicago with very little success.

“Please stop,” Leena begged with a red face.

“Excuse me ladies.” An older gentleman with an English accent approached the front desk. He looked very nice in a dark suit with white thinning hair. “I’m here for my tour of the gallery.”

“Of course, what’s the name attached to the tour?” Adeline asked.

Phoebe squeezed Leena’s arm and wiggled her eyebrows before she trotted off, back into the gallery. And Leena was about to do the same, but —

“Bruce Wayne. I run his house and am looking for some new work to be put up. I believe I set aside a tour guide already?” the old man said.

“Oh, yes, you did.” Adeline typed on the computer for a moment, giving Leena a bit of side-eye as she did so. “You’ll be touring with Ms. Duckett.”

Leena let out a breath. A sudden wash of relief and disappointment running through her. She knew that the gallery was the place for many of Gotham’s most elite families to buy art for their various homes throughout the world. Rich folk wanting to support local artists. But she had never given a tour to any actual members of those families. It was always the butlers, the house runners, the managers, the publicists even. But they always state that it is the butler or the house runner coming to assess new pieces that have been put up. So when Bruce Wayne’s actual name was logged into the system, Leena really thought it was going to be him walking through the halls of their gallery. Really laying his eyes on the art and choosing it for himself rather than someone else choosing it for him and barely even noticing that it was hung in his manor. The disappointment didn’t last long, however.

Leena stepped towards the old man with a smile. “And I am Ms. Duckett. A pleasure to meet you…”

“Alfred, miss.” He held out his hand and she shook it.

“Well, right this way, Alfred.” She gestured for them to enter the gallery and she began to lead. “We’ll start with our glassworks suite — “

They entered the first room of the gallery. The Shefield Gallery was extensive, housing several different mediums of art from a variety of artists. Pure white walls to off balance the bright pops of color that the artwork created, heightening the customer intrigue. In this first room there were at least fourteen pedestals strewn about the room, each one holding a different piece of glass artwork. Leena liked to look at glasswork, but would probably never attempt creating any herself. Molten glass just seemed a little too dangerous for her taste.

“Actually, sorry to be a bother, but I was hoping to look at something specific on this trip.” Alfred pulled a piece of paper from his suit jacket pocket. He unfolded it and handed it to Leena. “A piece specifically requested by Master Wayne.”

Leena stopped them and took the piece of paper with raised brows. It was a print out from the gallery’s website. Her eyes widened.

That was her painting. Put up in the employee suite of the gallery after much begging and finally the curator taking pity on her for being a slightly hungry artist.

She looked back up at Alfred to see him smiling at her. She quickly regained herself and asked, “Um — are you sure it’s this one that Mr. Wayne wants?”

“Yes. That’s the one.”

With a resigned nod and a thick swallow, Leena led Alfred to the employee suite. She could feel her fingers going numb. Bruce Wayne wanted her painting? Really? He asked for it specifically? She was sure that the old man had to be lying to her for her benefit. Playing some sort of weird joke that ended with her humiliated and a playboy billionaire laughing at the footage of her misfortune. Or maybe there was no farce and the man really did like her painting so much he wanted to buy it and hang it in his home. Leena rubbed at her neck. He would be the first person to ever like her work enough to do so.

They came to the employee suite and Leena stopped them in front of the painting in question. She put her head down as Alfred looked at it. His thin lips were quirked up in a small smile but she couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing.

“Pick your head up, miss,” he said, “I know you painted this.”

“Is that why you asked for me for your tour?” Leena asked.

“It is indeed.” His smile widened. “Master Wayne wanted me to see what kind of person could paint something like that.”

He pointed to the canvas and Leena furrowed her brows. She turned to the painting herself. Was there some vulgar message she, the artist, had missed? No. She couldn’t see it. All she saw was a portrait of Gotham at night. Done in oil paints on a medium sized canvas, Leena had always been told she leaned too far into her impressionist influences. But she couldn’t help it. Ordinary subject matter with a heightened sense of romanticism and color was something that Leena was just drawn too. The painting was Gotham at night, looking out over the skyline with the lights from the offices and apartments shining brightly, as if the viewer were looking down from the highest story of some building or other. In the glowing rooms in the foreground, people could be seen. Families, tired office workers, friends getting together.

She had titled the painting My City.

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean,” she said, turning back to Alfred.

“Master Wayne sees Gotham as a dark place — a place full of hate, injustice, and cruelty,” Alfred said.

Leena pulled a face. “While I will not disagree with Mr. Wayne — Gotham is full of the worst kinds of things — but it is also still worth saving. And loving. And living in if only to save it and love it more.”

Alfred smiled, a soft and knowing thing that made Leena’s eyes narrow.

“And Master Wayne would agree with that sentiment as well.” He turned to the painting again, hands clasped behind his back. “Which is why he was drawn to your work so much. You share similar views on a city that many have lost faith in — a rare find, especially in art form.”

Leena was puzzled. Bruce Wayne grew up in Gotham, just like she did. But they saw completely different sides of Gotham. Wayne saw only the elite, the rich, the famous side. The side that lived in penthouse suites, owned entire blocks of buildings, and could afford to eat at those fancy restaurants downtown. The faces of Gotham City. While Leena saw the hands and feet, the workers and the heart and soul of Gotham. The side that worked fifty hour weeks, lived in the slums, and had to cut up and burn their own furniture to keep warm. Gotham wasn’t worth saving because of the side that Bruce Wayne saw, that made it worth damnation. Gotham was worth saving because of what Leena saw.

“Um — well — uh — I…I don’t really know what to say. I wish I could tell Mr. Wayne thank you in person.”

Alfred seemed to get an idea. “How about you deliver the painting in person to Wayne Manor? Tomorrow perhaps? You could thank him in person and he would get to meet the artist behind the painting that has captivated him for so long. That is, if you are free, of course.”

“Well, if he wanted to do that he could have come himself today.” Leena couldn’t stop the words before they came out of her mouth.

Her eyes widened as she stared at Alfred. God, she really needed to learn how to control her mouth. She could feel her neck heating up and her face paling all at the same time. Her face scrunched up as she closed her eyes. Maybe if she didn’t look at him he would just go away or she would just sink into the floor. Either option would spare her from the agonizing embarrassment ripping through her right now.

“I’m so — “

Alfred chuckled. He actually started laughing. A polite and somehow very British thing that had Leena’s eyes flying open.

“I couldn’t agree with you more, Ms. Duckett,” he chuckled out, “But Master Wayne has turned into a bit of a recluse as of late. And I really do think he would appreciate meeting you.”

Leena bit down hard on her lip. If it meant making the $500 the painting was priced at, she was willing to do anything honestly. Even it meant borrowing Jamie’s car and meeting the actual Bruce fricking Wayne himself. That was enough money to pay her half of the rent for the month and she only had to do one thing. Not work her ass off at two different jobs. Her need for the money more than outweighed her apprehensions about meeting a billionaire and talking to him about her art and her thoughts on Gotham.

“Alright. Tomorrow at three o’clock. Is that an okay time?”

“Oh, yes. Just in time for tea.”

_______________________________________________________________________

“Please could you stop the noise? I’m trying to get some rest,” Leena sang as she cleaned her paint brushes, “From all the unborn chicken voices in my head!”

She moved back to the canvas she had set up by the windows overlooking the city. Who knew getting a meeting with one of Gotham’s most influential men would give her inspiration for a new painting? The reference photo of Bruce Wayne was tacked into the corner of the canvas. She had gotten the idea on the train ride and subsequent bus ride back to her apartment when her shift at the gallery was over. Something about Bruce Wayne being a recluse and seeing the good in Gotham just gave her a spark of inspiration. A spark of inspiration to lesson her fears about meeting the man by painting him as a vigilante sasquatch.

It was at least making her feel better about the whole thing. Jamie had walked in from her own work shift with many questions about it. But Leena had only held up a finger for patience and put her headphones back in. Jamie knew what that meant. Her roommate had had a weird day and needed to vent through her art.

Leena continued to paint for some time. Lost in the music and the colors and shapes that flowed from her paintbrush. Leena’s mother had given her paints and paper when she was very little as a distracting craft while she tried to clean around the house. But her mother could not have known that that would have sparked a lifelong love for art and painting. A dedication to get better and better and find her own style. Winning contests, medals, and even studying art in college. Leena felt the most at home when she was painting. Felt the most herself when she had a brush in her hand and a vision in her head that just needed to be let out.

This was one of those ideas she just knew would consume her every waking, and possibly sleeping, thought until she got it out and onto the canvas. Vigilante sasquatch Bruce Wayne was going to camp out in her cerebral cortex until she had brought him to life. Trekking through the woods, covered in body hair, wearing a stupid bright red face mask. If he thought the city was so worth saving, then why didn’t he give money to the police department so they had the tools to catch the criminals loose on Gotham’s streets? Why didn’t he donate money to improve Gotham’s infrastructure, education, hospitals, mental health services, or literally anything else besides funneling money into his own company?

If she were to see him right now, she would have a piece of her mind to give him that was —

Her phone started vibrating in the pocket of her apron. Leena groaned. She had gotten into such a good groove, too. She pulled out her iPod first and paused her music. Then she flipped open her phone and held it up to her ear. She didn’t even bother to see who was calling. Her mother usually called around that time of day anyway.

“Hey, Mom, what’s up?” she asked as she pinched the phone between her cheek and shoulder.

“Uh — “ A distinctly male voice came through. “Sorry, this is John Blake. Were you expecting your mom to call you? Cause I can call back later.”

Oh, God. After realizing that, in her euphoria, she had forgotten to get his number, she had been waiting to hear from him for nearly two days.  

“Oh, shit,” she said, quickly wiping her paint stained hands off on her apron, “Um, no — sorry. Sorry. I wasn’t — with my mom. I can talk now. Officer Blake — John. Officer Blake?”

At the mention of that name, Jamie peeked her head out from the gap in the curtains surrounding her bed with a look of pure interest on her face. Mouth open and her eyebrows raised as she looked across the room. Leena shooed her away with a wave of her hand and an uncontrollable smile.

“You can just call me John,” he laughed, “You getting around okay without the bike?”

“Uh, yeah. Taking the train and the bus — definitely throwing my budget out of whack but — that doesn’t matter…At all.” Leena glanced over at Jamie, still listening in, only to see her roommate roll her eyes.

When did she get so terrible at talking to men?

“Well, I have some good news for you.” Leena could feel her heart jump into her mouth, making her physically stand on tip toe and stare out the window as he continued to speak. “I found it. So — uh, where do you wanna go for our date?”

Leena squeezed her eyes shut, the smile on her face nearly hurting her cheeks as she tilted her head towards the ceiling. Was this really happening? After Jacob, she didn’t know if she would ever find anyone else. If she would be willing to put herself out there like that again. But with John, something felt different. He was safe, kind, and somehow she just knew that he would never hurt her like Jacob did. She twirled around once and she could hear Jamie whispering, asking what was going on. Leena ignored her roommate.

“How about Superdawg?”

Superdawg? Jamie mouthed with an unbelieving face.

“That hotdog place over by Robinson Park?”

“Uh, yeah.”

She heard him chuckle. “Sorry. I just suppose I expected you to pick something a bit more…I don’t know…”

“I’m not a fancy kind of girl, trust me.” Leena laughed. “We could eat and then maybe take a walk around the park or something? If that sounds good to you — I don’t — “

“No, that — that sounds great, actually.  Honestly, kinda glad you didn’t pick something fancy.”

“Okay, cool.” Leena looked over at Jamie with raised brows and a wide smile. “Uh, what time?”

“Saturday — tomorrow at six? I can pick you up?”

“Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll see you then.”

“See you then, Leena.” She loved the sound of him saying her name. “Bye.”

“Bye.” She flipped her phone closed and turned to face Jamie with fists triumphant in the air. “I have a date! And I’m getting my bike back!”

[bestworstcase]

a comprehensive guide to zhan tiri’s lore or, it’s not that confusing or contradictory, i promise

first things first: if you are somebody who pays attention to creator interviews and you are interested in canonical zhan tiri lore, i want you to gather up everything you’ve ever heard chris say about zhan tiri and erase it from of your brain. i know he’s made statements regarding his interpretation of her backstory but this post was made by death of the author gang and we are interested ONLY in what is stated and shown in the text itself. meaning belongs to the viewers, and creator interpretation is irrelevant. 

ready? let’s go!

who or what is zhan tiri?

zhan tiri’s first appearance in coronan history occurred thousands of years ago; in plus est en vous, rapunzel specifies two thousand, but every other mention of zhan tiri as a historical figure is “eons” or “millennia,” and the most objective source we have—the plus est flashback—is marked “thousands of years ago.”  

there is no direct evidence to suggest that she existed prior to this, but i think there is enough circumstantial support for this theory to conclude that she did: namely, the existence of idols and other religious iconography associated with her name. my reasoning here is as follows: 

the plus est en vous flashback shows demanitus banishing zhan tiri to the lost realm. this makes it—give or take a few years—the last point in time when zhan tiri would have been free and thus able to make any lasting cultural impact.

it follows that any relevant historical artifacts we see must predate the plus est flashback, as they represent a time when zhan tiri had a significant enough cultural impact to fuel their creation.

moreover, though sugracha and tromus are the only disciples of zhan tiri who directly appear in the series, it is implied that there are many more: 

Lord Demanitus was in a constant battle with Zhan Tiri and his brethren. Over the years, Demanitus captured many of the evil spirits and held them prisoner in that chamber. (S1, Painter’s Block)

much of the coronan folklore concerning the demanitus-zhan tiri relationship is... wrong, but due to sugracha’s verifiable imprisonment in the demanitus chamber, i feel it reasonable to conclude that this tidbit is correct in that there are, or at least were, other disciples held inside the demanitus chamber. and, as with the historical artifacts associated with zhan tiri, it is logical to conclude that whatever cult produced these disciples predated the plus est flashback. 

so, we’ve established the historical artifacts and iconography associated with zhan tiri came before the plus est flashback, but what exactly does that entail, and what does it tell us about zhan tiri’s true nature?

icons of zhan tiri: an overview

#1: janus point

janus point is a henge, and based on the iconography—the ram’s head symbol is plastered all over the jardinière and the henge pillars—it appears to be a site dedicated specifically to zhan tiri. the same symbol also appears on the seal in which sugracha’s spirit was trapped inside the demanitus chamber and is unique in that the muzzle appears to corkscrew.

the appearance of the henge evokes a quasi-religious flavor, and in who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, rapunzel refers to the site as a “mystical ground.” at the very least, this is a ritual site that was heavily associated with zhan tiri, and it would not be much of a stretch to conclude she was outright worshipped here.

#2: the spire idol

this artifact appears in both the keeper of the spire and race to the spire. it’s a small stone idol kept in the spire’s... gatehouse, for lack of a better term, and it depicts the basic ram-headed hulking demon zhan tiri. nothing is said about it in either episode. 

#3: the tree of zhan tiri

there is zhan tiri iconography all over this tree.

the stone ram’s head over the entrance...

...the bas-relief in the first chamber...

...more ram’s heads over all the interior archways and the scroll shelves...

...and a return of the corkscrew-snouted ram’s head from janus point on the altar for this glorious oversized flytrap.

#4: the shell house

tromus’s shrine gives us yet another variation on the ram’s head symbol as well as another full-body idol and also, though i didn’t get a screenshot of it because it’s hard to see with the way tumblr resizes images, a little ram’s head symbol on the clasp of his robes. 

so where did this imagery come from?

with the exception of the spire idol, there is evidence to suggest that zhan tiri herself had direct influence over the design of all this iconography. 

janus point seems to have held some importance to zhan tiri herself; when she appears to varian in cassandra’s revenge, she surrounds herself with pieces of it and superimposes her own head on top of the tree. 

further, the corkscrew-snouted ram’s head reoccurs at the great tree, which is unique among the sites associated with her in that we know zhan tiri actually resided there for what sounds like a significant amount of time; according to the legend adira shares, the great tree was zhan tiri’s “stronghold.”

this means that it’s plausible that either (a) zhan tiri herself shaped the symbols on display in the tree, or (b) they were modeled after her by her contemporaries. the interesting thing about this, there are four distinct variations on the ram’s head symbol inside the tree: 1) long, thick snout with elongated horns; 2) angular, no snout, short horns, 3) corkscrew-snouted, and 4) humanlike skull with ram horns. 

and likewise, the iconography inside the shell house was created by someone we know to have been a contemporary of zhan tiri’s; tromus was one of the students of demanitus who turned against him to join zhan tiri instead, and it is logical to assume that he did, in fact, see zhan tiri in the flesh at some point—and his ram’s head design is yet again different.

this begs the question: if all five of these designs were modeled on zhan tiri herself, why is there such variety in the basic shape? i believe this is a strong point in favor of considering zhan tiri a shapeshifter who chose and stuck with a single general form for long periods of time but casually and frequently modified the smaller details. and in fact, we do see her do this in season three, with the most notable occurrence being. this: 

so, we have concluded that: 

zhan tiri’s historical iconography predates the plus est flashback, and

accurately represented her physical appearance from that time

from this, the only reasonable conclusion is that zhan tiri is a shapeshifter, who spent a considerable amount of time in the giant, ram-headed demon form depicted in all of her pre-demanitus iconography. 

but she’s human in the plus est flashback!

in the series, human characters are designed with a wide diversity of shapes and sizes, but their color palettes stay within the range of realism, with natural skin tones and eye/hair colors. zhan tiri is... not like that.

she may be human-shaped, but her color palette sits drastically outside the norms the series has established for human characters; her skin is dead white, her hair is a dull lilac color, her eyes are bright purple with a circle of gold around the pupils. none of these are natural human colors.

there is precedent in the series for marked changes in appearance and coloration as a result of meddling with magical forces: when cassandra claims the moonstone, it turns her hair and eyes bright blue and gives her an unhealthy-looking pallor. rapunzel’s hair, likewise, turns gold due to the sundrop’s influence. thus, taking this in isolation, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility to conclude that zhan tiri, too, has had her appearance altered by whatever magical nonsense she’s been mucking around with.

however, if we look at this design in the context of the conclusions we’ve already drawn about her historical iconography and what that tells us about her true nature, i think a much simpler and more plausible explanation is that zhan tiri, being a shapeshifter, donned this humanlike form in order to get closer to demanitus. there could be any number of reasons for doing so—considering demanitus’s fixation on seeking the drops for the right reasons, i would imagine creating some distance from the malevolent monster form in order to gain his trust would have played a role in this decision.

five final points in favor of shapeshifting

#1: zhan tiri in the lost realm

we see in plus est en vous that the lost realm causes absurd magical mutations in people who are trapped there. varian theorizes that these mutations could become irreversible if they stay in the lost realm for long enough, but given that they are all freed shortly thereafter and the changes revert, there is no concrete evidence for or against this theory.

still, this raises an interesting question: if the lost realm mutates anyone who enters it, and if these changes become irreversible after long periods of time what would happen if a shapeshifter was trapped there for thousands of years?

when zhan tiri escapes from the lost realm, she isn’t all that different in appearance from when she entered it. she’s much smaller. her hairstyle has changed a bit. she lost the bag at some point. but that’s... really it. it’s a much less drastic alteration than we see happening with the coronans, who are shown transforming into objects and animals, with their bodies distorted, or with pieces of themselves becoming detached and floating away. and these changes also serve her manipulation of cass by making her appear small, weak, and harmless, so it isn’t out of the realm of possibility for zhan tiri to have chosen this form for herself.

i think it is reasonable to assume that zhan tiri, being a shapeshifter herself, was able to, if not outright resist whatever magic in the lost realm causes these mutations, at least “fix” them as they happened. her brief appearance in painter’s block supports the idea that she retained the ability to shapeshift while inside the lost realm, since she appears there as the ram-headed demon.

#2: her shapeshifting disciples

both tromus and sugracha are able to appear human, and sugracha states that she can take “many forms” in painter’s block. though it’s never explained where they got this power, it is reasonable to conclude that they received it from zhan tiri—she is their master, and the implication very much seems to be that it was she who gave them their creepy green spirit form of immortality.

and, if zhan tiri is handing out powers of shapeshifting to her minions, it follows that she must be capable of shapeshifting herself, too. 

#3: gremlin zhan tiri’s demonic shadow

this shows up in cassandra’s revenge and plus est en vous and seems to straightforwardly suggest that zhan tiri’s true nature is closer to the ram-headed demon, with the humanlike form being more of a disguise.

#4: we see her shapeshift in plus est en vous.

she briefly loses her grip on the humanlike nature of the gremlin form when rapunzel blasts her with the sundrop, as i noted above. and later—once she has the drops in hand and the gremlin form has no further use to her—she sheds it altogether to return to yet another variation on the ram-headed demon, albeit one that looks more... monkey than ram: 

#5: and finally, zhan tiri herself says so

in race to the spire: 

I believe Cassandra promised us a proper introduction, but she failed to deliver, didn’t she? Frankly, I’m surprised you hadn’t guessed who I am—seeing as how we’ve already met, in a way. You see, over the centuries, I’ve taken the form of whatever suits my needs: a warlock, a demon... even a blizzard. 

she also portrays herself as the ram-headed demon in the vision she gives to cassandra in once a handmaiden:

now... zhan tiri is a liar, and if these were statements given in isolation of any supporting evidence, i would be skeptical. however, when all the evidence in the text points toward zhan tiri being a shapeshifting entity as the most logical explanation for everything we see of her throughout the series, i’m inclined to take her corroborating statements as a factual confirmation. 

in conclusion: zhan tiri is, and has always been, a shapeshifter. if she has a “true” form, the evidence points toward it being the large, ram-headed, tentacled demon, while the humanlike shape(s) we see in season three are forms she assumed to ingratiate herself to demanitus and, later, cassandra. 

what’s the timeline with her and  lord demanitus?

time in this series is fuzzy. this applies not only to zhan tiri and demanitus, but to every historical event discussed by the characters and the timespans covered by each season, where the only time markers are the lantern festivals that celebrate rapunzel’s nineteenth, twentieth, and twenty-first birthdays and a few throwaway lines about the passage of months. thus, there is no way to say with absolute certainly when any specific event in zhan tiri’s backstory occurred chronologically. we have to do our best to arrange the events we know about in an order that is logical. 

this is complicated by the fact that we know demanitus fudged some of the details to make himself look better to rapunzel and eugene: he obscured the fact that he and zhan tiri were working partners for an unknown length of time. this verifiable lie of omission casts a patina of doubt over everything else he says regarding their shared past, but it also accounts for discrepancies between what we see and what we’re told. 

as always in unreliable narrator situations, what we see has far more weight than what we’re told. with this in mind, there are three tiers of trustworthiness in the information we are given about zhan tiri’s past: most trustworthy are the flashbacks and things we see with our own eyes; in the middle are the accounts of zhan tiri’s contemporaries—demanitus and the disciples; and at the bottom are the folk legends recounted by xavier and adira. 

so what do we see?

#1: zhan tiri and demanitus searched for the drops together

just how this arrangement came to be is unclear, but i think we can glean some interesting information from the plus est flashback.

DEMANITUS: Zhan Tiri! This is your last warning! Give up this foolish quest for power.

ZHAN TIRI: This quest for the sundrop and moonstone was both of ours.

DEMANITUS: It was, until you made it about something darker. You made it all about gaining power for yourself! You turned your back on what was right!

ZHAN TIRI: And you turned your back on me. As long as I live, I will never stop until I have that power!

DEMANITUS: I know.

[He activates the portal to the Lost Realm.]

ZHAN TIRI: This is far from over! I will have that power, and when I do, I will destroy your beloved Corona! I promise you!

[The portal closes.]

DEMANITUS: I had no choice, Vigor. I had to send her to the Lost Realm.

this suggests a couple things.

first, the working relationship between demanitus and zhan tiri broke down because her selfish desire for power clashed with his idealism. demanitus didn’t want the power of the combined sundrop and moonstone for himself; he wanted to reunite them in the service of a cause he believed to be right. zhan tiri, by contrast, was interested solely in acquiring that power for herself—but given how demanitus reacted when he learned this, it seems obvious that he didn’t know that about zhan tiri until later in their relationship.

in other words, there was some level of deceit on her part involved with their partnership from the very beginning. she hid her true motives from him; she may also have hidden her true nature from him. i think there is support both for and against the latter point: in the present day, demanitus describes zhan tiri as “a warlock”—a word zhan tiri uses as an example of her duplicitous shapeshifting—but he also describes her as being “from another realm”—suggesting he knew her to be something otherworldly or inhuman. 

i tend to fall on the side of demanitus knowing her basic nature while they were contemporaries, but believing she shared his more noble motivations at first, but i think a strong argument could be made in favor of him believing her to be human from the start and only discovering her true nature later. 

second, demanitus appears to have cared for zhan tiri far more than she cared for him. in the flashback, she’s angry at his betrayal, but her focus is on her desire for the power of the sundrop and moonstone. by contrast, demanitus gives her plenty of warning and chances to turn away from her dark path, pleads with her to “give up” her selfish motivations, and expresses clear regret after her refusal forces him to banish her to the lost realm. 

this, again, supports the interpretation that zhan tiri manipulated or used  demanitus to further her own goals, just as she would later do with cassandra, rather than this being a true partnership that broke down as a result of differing goals. she doesn’t care about him any more than she cared about cass.

#2: zhan tiri’s behavior in season three

season three firmly establishes zhan tiri as a skilled manipulator who does not care about anyone or anything besides herself and her pursuit of her own power. i won’t get into the weeds with this—if you want to read a breakdown of (some) of zhan tiri’s manipulation of cass in season three, i wrote a post about once a handmaiden here—because for our purposes, we just need to understand that the basic character of zhan tiri as we see her in the present should inform our interpretation of her behavior in the past. 

in other words, i think it is safe to assume that zhan tiri applied similar techniques and principles of manipulation to demanitus as we see her do to cassandra in the present; to wit, she would have sought to make him emotionally dependent on her by exploiting whatever vulnerabilities she could find and presenting herself to him as a trustworthy friend and kindred spirit. 

#3: she is not close to her disciples

once she is freed, zhan tiri never so much as mentions tromus or sugracha again. moreover, it is unclear how much personal information they actually know about her: in painter’s block, sugracha refers to zhan tiri as “he,” which could indicate one of several things: 

zhan tiri is female, but her disciples don’t know her well enough for assumptions they made about her gender based on the appearance of the ram-headed demon form to have been corrected, or

zhan tiri doesn’t subscribe to human conceptualizations of gender, and both “she” and “he” are acceptable pronouns because the gendered connotations of both are equally irrelevant.

i, personally, prefer the second explanation, but the first is tenuously supported by how little zhan tiri cares for her disciples.

what do her contemporaries say?

lord demanitus’s telling of his conflict with zhan tiri is as follows: 

Millennia ago, a mysterious event in the heavens divided an ancient power in two. The sundrop and moonstone fell to the earth. Three of my pupils and I researched the legend of the sundrop and moonstone, two elements that longed to reunite. We searched, but alas could not find them.

Unfortunately, we were not the only ones looking. My pupils betrayed me, and summoned my old nemesis, Zhan Tiri: a warlock from another realm, bent on destruction. It took all of my powers to banish the evil from our world.

I knew the research I had written about the sundrop and moonstone was valuable. Dangerous, in evil hands. So I tore the scroll and hid the pieces...

this exposition also shows us the identities of the three pupils who turned against demanitus and joined zhan tiri instead: sugracha, tromus, and gothel.

their identities are all confirmed outside of this sequence: sugracha and tromus appear as loyal servants of zhan tiri, and in a tale of two sisters, rapunzel and cassandra discover gothel’s research on the sundrop flower, including a piece that is an obvious attempt to recreate the demanitus scroll, indicating that gothel was indeed his student at one time: 

though it appears that gothel abandoned zhan tiri as well once she found the sundrop flower, as she hoarded its power for herself rather than seeking to use it to free her former master from the lost realm. 

now... because demanitus leaves out the part of this story that would involve admitting he worked with zhan tiri before she became his “nemesis,” we can’t say with any certainty when this business with his traitorous pupils freeing her happened—or, indeed, if it actually happened that way at all. it isn’t out of the realm of possibility that the three disciples could have been pupils of both demanitus and zhan tiri, who stuck with zhan tiri after demanitus betrayed her and banished her to the lost realm. 

my personal belief is that demanitus gathered his pupils to help him continue the search for the sundrop and moonstone after the flashback in plus est, only for them to be lured away by zhan tiri (perhaps via communication in dreams or visions, as cassandra’s revenge establishes that she’s capable of entering people’s dreams whilst trapped in the lost realm) and free her by reactivating the portal—thus shifting demanitus’s focus from “find the sundrop and moonstone” to “put the demon back in her prison and clean up this mess.” 

however, this is all very up for personal interpretation, because demanitus’s version of events is verifiably deceptive and thus cannot be taken as hard fact.

and what do the folk legends say?

#1: the blizzard

Eons ago, an evil warlock, Zhan Tiri, had a deep hatred for Corona, and cast a spell which caused a blizzard to sweep across the land. The storm destroyed everything in its path. All would have been lost, had it not been for the ancient engineer and inventor, Lord Demanitus. 

Using both magic and science, Demanitus built a massive subterranean machine deep in the Coronan mountains. This mighty device had the ability to change the direction of the wind, and it pushed the flurries out to the sea. The day was saved. Zhan Tiri had indeed been defeated. But some say the curse of the storm lives on, and is simply waiting to strike again...

we know that the basic event described here really happened, because the demanitus device does exist in the location indicated by the legend and works just as described. the details may have been glossed over or elaborated on over the centuries, but we know it is accurate in the essentials.

until recently, i put the events described in this legend immediately before the plus est flashback, to account for the snow on the ground during the flashback, but over the course of writing this post i have actually changed my own mind, and i now think that zhan tiri’s blizzard occurred when the disciples freed her from the lost realm for the first time. why? well, the imagery used to illustrate xavier’s telling of the blizzard legend is directly echoed by the imagery used to illustrate zhan tiri’s release in demanitus’s account in lost and found: 

queen for a day.

and lost and found. 

the color palettes here are identical, and in both, zhan tiri is depicted as the ram-headed demon, in almost the same pose, rising out of the mountains—which fits with both the location of the demanitus device and the possibility that she created (or became) the blizzard immediately after being released from the portal in the coronan mountains. moreover, her hatred of corona is based on her hatred of demanitus and her vengeful desire to destroy everything he loves, which would logically be stronger after he successfully imprisoned her once. 

#2: the great tree

Millennia ago, this tree was once a sentient being, a force for good. But it was corrupted by the evil sorcerer [Zhan Tiri] to destroy any who approached it. It was Zhan Tiri’s stronghold. Inside it, he was invincible. But Lord Demanitus put a stop to the tree’s magic using an enchanted spear. 

as with xavier’s blizzard legend, the fact of the spear’s existence and the behavior of the great tree itself once the spear is removed proves the basic accuracy of this legend. 

the difficulty hear lies with pinpointing when all this occurred. unlike the blizzard, there are no contextual clues to suggest where this conflict at the great tree may lie in the general timeline, so any conclusions we draw must be based on speculation. the only thing we know for sure is that zhan tiri’s residence in the great tree ended during demanitus’s lifetime, which puts a hard stop in it at about two thousand years ago.

my theory is that zhan tiri corrupted and resided in the great tree long before demanitus’s time. adira calls it her stronghold, and as discussed in the first section, the great tree has the greatest variety and frequency of zhan tiri iconography of any location in the series. one of the symbols inside the great tree is even found thousands of miles away at janus point—the corkscrew-snouted ram’s head—which draws a possible line of influence from the tree to janus point. taken together, all of this suggests a long period of time during which the great tree was zhan tiri’s tree.

and as for when it entered into the conflict between demanitus and zhan tiri, i believe there are two possibilities: 

demanitus knew of zhan tiri’s use of the great tree as a fortress, and she allowed him inside while they were collaborating in their search for the drops. she likely hid the violent nature of its defenses from him for a while; then she either let her guard down and allowed him to glimpse more of the truth, or the tree as attacked and he inadvertently witnessed a brutal massacre. either way, this is what clued him in to her ulterior motives, and he crafted the spear to destroy the tree’s magic—and it is this betrayal that zhan tiri references in the plus est flashback when she says “you turned your back on me.” 

zhan tiri had been using the great tree as a home for many years without the aggressive kill-anyone-who-enters security measures, allowing it to function as a library or house of research. this may have been how she and demanitus encountered each other in the first place, and would go a long way to explaining why demanitus trusted her initially. it wasn’t until demanitus turned against her and imprisoned her in the lost realm, and her subsequent release by his pupils, that she became enraged and turned the great tree into an indiscriminate killing machine and demanitus forged his magical spear to stop her.

i think both options are equally plausible, and since there isn’t any direct evidence one way or another, this is another case for personal interpretation and preference to really come into play.

so, to sum up...

at some point around two thousand years ago, lord demanitus encountered zhan tiri, and she persuaded him to trust her and work with her to find the mythical sundrop and moonstone. she was most likely just using him the whole time, while he grew to care for her but became so uncomfortable with her violent methods and selfish motivations that he felt he had no choice to imprison her in the lost realm. 

his pupils—whom he either once shared with zhan tiri, or gathered after the breakdown of his relationship with zhan tiri—turned against him, and either took her side in the conflict, or successfully freed her from the lost realm. i think the latter explanation(s) fit better with the information we are given. 

the blizzard discussed in queen for a day most likely happened after the plus est flashback and her subsequent release by the disciples. 

the conflict at the great tree most likely occurred either right before or at some point after the plus est flashback and her subsequent release, but it is plausible to assume that by this point she had been residing in the great tree for a considerable amount of time prior to working with demanitus. 

demanitus defeated zhan tiri and her disciples, imprisoned her in the lost realm, imprisoned most if not all of her disciples in the demanitus chamber, destroyed the portal to the lost realm so she couldn’t easily be brought back, and transferred his soul into the immortal body of a monkey so he could spend the next two thousand years as a... watchman of sorts, over the drops, probably with the hope that he could step in to prevent zhan tiri’s release if necessary.

[mcrmadness]

Madness draws: Behind the Scenes of the Bela/Farin: “Widumihei” comic.

A few months ago I posted here this comic:

CLICK HERE for the original post about that comic where you can see it in better and bigger size, and also reblog it ;)

And this post is just a deep dive into how I plan, do and draw my comics.

Let’s start with sketchbook things...

So every comic needs a story, right? My comics usually are born from either some dialogue I imagine in my head or by an impulsive inspiration that happens when I see something or talk with people and a random idea is triggered. I’m very good at coming up with new ideas solely based on just one word or so which is why I often ask people if they have anything they would want to see/read because I suck at coming up ideas on my own. Or I do get ideas, but not as often as I’d want to.

This particular idea was very old and I have tried but I cannot find the piece that was my inspiration but it was in some of my old German books because I remember laughing at it with either my brother or even with the German teacher in 2011 or 2012. I was only able to find my first “sketch” of the story:

This is in the notebook I used for writing down some comic ideas and even had one comic in it, plus it’s also my fanfiction writing notebook. It has no date but I know for sure it was either 2011 or 2012 because that’s when I did my last Bela/Farin comic and pretty much started my (unintentional) 6 year pause from drawing altogether.

I have always been trilingual when I do these plans for my comics, often writing the “narration” in Finnish and the dialog either in English or German because I just cannot imagine them to speaking Finnish. The translation of that text goes as:

COMIC (sarjis = sarjakuva = comic book in Finnish)

1. The phone is ringing. 2. F: “Widumihei?!” B: ? 3. B: “Farin wtf?” 4. Farin walks from another room. 5. B: “Widumihei?” 6. F: “It means, “will you marry me?”“ 7. B: *wtf* REPLAY:

1. Bela is sitting/laying somewhere. 2. The phone is ringing. Reached with his hand? 3. Looks at the phone, “wtf?”, a thought: “von Jan: Widumihei?!” 4. Bela: “Farin?” / “Jan?” 5. F comes from another room, looks in from behind the door frame or something. B: “Widumihei?” 6. F: “Widumihei: “WIllst DU MIch HEiraten”“ 7. B: “WTF”

So when I then started to draw these comics again in 2018, I kept thinking about this one too and still wanted to draw it one day. If you have read the finished comic, you may notice something different in the old plot versus new: I switched Bela’s and Farin’s roles. Back then I didn’t know too much yet but over the years I have learnt much much more about them and I just figured that asking to marry him even as a joke would be too much for Farin and that it would fit Bela’s persona much much better.

***

I had a bit of problems with getting started with this one, mainly because the last times I drew a dä comic was in June 2020, in April 2020 and before those in October 2019. Because of so long time between the comics, I just always forgot about my methods and in which order I do things and what works for me the best. So every time I started to work on a comic, I had to start completely over because all I had was blank paper and I somehow needed to get my thoughts in order and out of my head, into a physical form aka as text and images on the paper, and it’s easier said than done.

So pardon me but from this on the text is going to get a little bit confusing for a little while from now on - but it’s also a very good look over how the life with my suspected ADHD be like sometimes...

I started working on the plot once again to my sketchbook... I think it was somewhere in the beginning of 2020. Because the next idea there is from the summer. This is what the plot looked like at that point - here I had already switched their roles:

Shortly, the texts go: 1. Farin is reading a book. 2. A phone makes a noise. 3. (Farin) looks at it/read the message. / 6. B appears into the doorway. / 11. F spits out the tea.

And underneath it you can see one of the stick figure storyboards I often do in order to kinda see the text in pictures better, and I will write down or draw important aspects like expressions (Farin’s eyebrows) or things like *facepalm’* or *eyeroll* so that I remember to add them.

Next I was struggling with the era. It needed to be an era with the old mobile phones with SMS options but still not too early because I feel that Farin would have not been the first in line to buy a brand new technology object, especially not when it’s a phone. I was even googling when did Germany get their first mobile phone - I remember I got my first phone aka Nokia 5510 in 2000 or 2001 after my mom got a new one and gave her old one to me, so the story shouldn’t happen too many years before the Millenium.

Originally I planned 1997 for that - I needed to think about that based on their styles because shorter hair is harder to draw. Here’s me trying out some hairs and how they’re to draw and which era would suit my needs the best. I actually find the text hilarious altho it’s mine but this is what it’s in English:

Time period -> 1996-1997? 1998 I’ve never drawn 1999 is not that much fun to draw 2000 is already a bit too late? Bela not that much fun to draw. -2001 moustaches are not fun to draw?

I think I was struggling with my thoughts because the next thing in that sketchbook is yet another storyboard:

Or actually I think this was just to see how many sheets I’d need and how many panels I could fit on one sheet.

Anyhow, I then did other things for some time before I got back to this project this year. Including finishing with the sketchbook I had been using since 2010 (and the half of it since 2018!) and I had to get myself a new one. So when I started to think about this comic again, one night I was just thinking about some Bela/Farin scenarios as usual and suddenly I just felt that I NEED to do the comic in the 1998 style!!! So suddenly we jump from the original 1997 idea to the new era, only because of the colors. 

So asap I grabbed my sketchbook and started to look for the proper colors for the hairs:

This one I posted here before too as I was struggling a lot and just felt that I didn’t know how to draw, again. Sometimes when I feel like that, I start drawing with my non-dominant aka left hand because it doesn’t have all that in muscle memory so drawing and writing with it feels more free and it feels almost like pressing a refresh button in my brain. Suddenly the right one know again how to draw because left isn’t too well in control. The below part of the image is done completely with the left hand, including the coloring.

And because I had now a new sketchbook, I somehow couldn’t... deal with the plot and plans being in a different sketchbook than everything else so I had write the plot/dialog AGAIN, into this new sketchbook, along with the storyboards and everything:

Translations: kirja = book, puhelin = phone, oviaukossa = in the doorway, teet suusta = tea(s) out of a/the mouth. “Puhelin zoom” just means “close up to the phone screen” in Madness.

You can also see that I found out that I don’t need to do the stick figure storyboards to imitate a sheet when I can just draw this rectangle and smaller rectangles inside of it and write there numbers to match the things in the dialog to make it much easier for me to plan the pages. And here’s also a small easter egg: there’s 13 panels overall in this comic :D I almost did 12 but then felt that no, I really need to do 13 because, you know, the hairs, the era, the album title. And also because I like the number so much lmao.

So from there we get to the second storyboard which is not just stick figures anymore but just me planning how I want the panels to look like. To get the imagery of the rooms and facial expressions etc. out onto the paper so that I can see them in real life instead of my shady imagination that sometimes isn’t as vivid as what I could be.

Also have you ever tried to draw a beach chair? It’s more difficult than you’d think:

I tried to draw the same thing from the same reference photos so many times and still I always felt like I was trying to draw that impossible triangle or some other illusion image. And it just went on and on here:

Originally I also had planned the second panel to be a close up of the phone so that Farin’s face would be left at the background from the frog perspective. That’s what I was trying to with that weird-ass face on the left but turned out that I have never drawn these characters from such angle and I just... couldn’t see it in my head clearly enough to be able to draw it. So I dismissed that idea and that’s why the angle changed from a phone close-up to a side view to the room and at Farin.

As I was in the middle of planning the second page, I suddenly wasn’t happy with my original plot anymore. I wasn’t sure if it would work and needed to think about it one more time. So I wrote two other dialogs here, along with a storyboards for them both. I ended up choosing B from those two options eventually.

I don’t remember anymore if I had already done the first sketch of the comics or not but at some point I just felt that I no longer knew how to draw in my style. Sometimes you just draw and learn wrong things and wrong methods that you get used to and then you have to take a break and actually do a little bit of studying over your own style to find again the way how you want to draw, and get rid of the bad habits and find the good ones again. In my case it was to draw the eyes way way too big when they originally never were THAT big, so I had to learn how to draw them small and normal again. That’s why I did these, as I really needed to pay attention to the faces and remember how to draw them again:

The front-side views were another big readong for this “study” because I have drawn that perspective only once or twice before and I needed to figure out how I want to draw that. Also, I don’t know if it’s just me but for some reason the front-side Farin reminds me of one of the parent characters from this cartoon called The Rugrats which I watched as a kid. It was totally unintentional, but you can google The Rugrats if you don’t know how the charatcers looked like in the cartoon.

The things below are just me testing something. The red Farins were just to test how the colored pencils work on each other and how the fineliners work with the colored pencils, and which way is the better way to do the shading. And the red colored pencil was the only one available at the time so that had to do.

A little bit about the heads btw: You might notice some difference between the left and right faces. It’s because I have always, always struggled with drawing anything that is looking at right. Most of the animal portraits and all I have drawn so that they look at left because I just find it so much easier to draw. I think with comics it’s because I always start with the eye (and the eyebrows if I don’t forget it) and then do the forehead, nose, mouth and chin, and after that I either continue from the hair (from the front) or do the ear first. But when I am drawing them to look at right, I have to basically draw the mirror image and starting from the hair is not the key because it can easily mess up with the perspectives. I still usually draw everything in the same order but it really is difficult because I’m doing a mirror image and my own hand is on the way, too. Basically I’m drawing from right to left instead of left to right! (I think I should try drawing those with my left hand, then...)

And from here we get to the first sketch of the comic. From here on the images are from my phone’s camera so they are sometimes illegally bad but no can do, I again didn’t think I’d post these to anywhere:

Here you can see I was mainly just focusing on the shapes and the space inside those panels. Just trying to see the perspective and how everything is. The only thing that I drew more precisely was the third panel, with the hand and phone. I had quite a nice memory of old phones in my head but I still googled for some reference photos of Nokia 5110 phones as that was my first phone (as I mentioned earlier), and I also happened to have some of my other old phones on the table nearby so I took my own hand reference photos too:

They always say there’s a little bit of the artist in their art and this one literally has that - “Farin’s” hand is actually my hand! :D And I think the size is kinda on point too because this phone was like 2-3 times smaller than Nokia 5110 and I have small hands, and I believe Farin must have much bigger hands, so the 5110 probably would have looked about the same size in his hand.

After the first sketch, the next step was then - the second sketch:

I also wanted to add more action to the panels so that it’s interesting to look at and not just basically the same panel over and over again with just different speech bubbles, so I came up with the idea of Farin spitting out his tea not being as cartoony as it could be and that he would have to actually clean it up instead of just leaving it there just because in cartoons/comics everything is possible. That way I got more depth into the panels and it was also interesting for me to draw because I drew lots of new postures I have never drawn before, and I’m surprised how well it went despite me not even looking for any kind of reference photos! The only things I used reference photos for were the beach chair, and the phone in a hand. (I have actually always been quite good at drawing 3D objects and spaces, especially if they are rectangular.)

So yeah, this is the phase where everything is then finished with pencil and what follows next is drawing the lines with fineliners - I use Sakura Pigma Micron fineliners for everything else, and black Promarker for doing the lines for the panels (and also if I need bigger pitch black areas done).

Here are the panel lines done but I only had a photo of this first sheet.

And here are both sheets with the finelining done and all pencil marks etc. erased. I really like this part because it looks so clean when all those sketch marks are gone. It’s also crazy to think I literally spend hours drawing something in pencil only to erase it all away later :D

And here’s one photo of the coloring process, the first one has only the base colors done but none of the shadows yet (apart from the shirts), and the second one has some of the shadows done but not everything yet.

Usually after coloring, I will then go through everything with the fineliners one more time to make sure all the lines are dark enough as it just gives everything the finished yet a bit “sketchy” look that what I really like with my comics. The actual last detail is always adding my signature along with the date or year.

And here’s the finished comic one more time for comparison:

Don’t forget to check and reblog the actual post about this comic if you read this post all the way here. I’d appreaciate that a lot since art and artist on Tumblr are not really that much appreciated.