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ejzah · 3 years

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Hiiii.

I think you might have already done this, but can you write an AU one-shot where Deeks is still a lawyer, he and Kensi are married and Deeks meets the team?

If it's not to much of a hassle.

Thank you

A/N: I sort of approached this one in an interesting way.

***

Secrets and Lies

“You know anything about this lawyer we’re meeting?” Sam asked, frowning at they walked towards the boat shed.

“Nope. Hetty just said his name is Martin Deeks and than he had information we could use,” Callen replied. Kensi pressed her lips together and forced herself to sound casual.

“I heard he’s one of the best in LA,” she said. Sam glanced down at her, one eyebrow raised.

“Where’d you hear that?”

“Uh, one of my friends used to work in his office,” Kensi answered.

“Well, I doubt that, but I hope he’s less annoying then the last one. I hate lawyers,” Sam said.

As soon as they walked through the door, they found a blonde man reclining in one of the wooden chairs. He stood up, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves.

Kensi noticed Sam eyeing his perfectly tailored black suit before his gaze focused in on his hair, which curled slightly around his ears.

“Martin Deeks?”

“Yes, Sir,” he answered with a friendly smile, offering. Sam his hand. After a second, he shook it and added, “But it’s just Deeks.”

“I’m Agent Hanna and this is Agent Hanna and Blye,” Callen introduced them and Deeks shook their hands as well. He held onto Kensi’s fingers for a few seconds longer than necessary before letting go.

“Nice to meet you.” Deeks dipped his head in Kensi’s direction. “Ma’am.” She rolled her eyes and he winked before turning back to Sam and Callen. “So, uh, Hetty mentioned that I might be able to help you out with a case.”

“We hope so. How exactly do you know Hetty?” Callen asked, suspicion rising in his voice. “She’s never mentioned you before this.”

“Oh, Hetty and I go way back.” He smirked knowingly, which seemed to annoy Callen.

“Don’t they have a dress code at your office?” Sam asked, seeming unable to help himself. Kensi would bet the mismatch between Deeks’ suit and hair was confusing and mildly irritating for him.

“Probably,” Deeks admitted with a shrug. “But I’m one of the finding members, so I can get away with breaking a few rules. Plus, my wife likes my hair like this.”

“Are you sure about that?” Kensi questioned, giving him a skeptical look. He smirked again, eyes dancing as he stared at her. Kensi shook her head slightly, rolling her eyes.

“Can’t keep her hands off me.” Callen cleared his throat pointedly, breaking their staring contest.

“About the case,” he reminded them, giving Kensi a look of disbelief, which she ignored. He directed Deeks to the table in the middle of the room and once they were settled, flipped open a folder, spreading out a series of pictures. “Mr. Deeks, do you know any of these men?”

Deeks considered the photos for a few seconds and then tapped three of them with the tip of a finger.

“This man is a client, the second is a...let’s say a colleague of my client, and the third man I’ve only met in passing,” he said.

“All three are suspected of involvement in arms trafficking, sale of stolen goods, and other crimes,” Sam explained. “What do you know about that?”

“Well, obviously I can’t share anything that my client discussed during out meetings. You know, Attorney-Client Privileges and all that.”

“He’s a criminal, Deeks,” Sam reminded him and Deeks nodded.

“I’m well aware of my client’s business dealings, but my ethical duties prevent me from sharing that information and by law you can’t compel me,” Deeks said firmly. Callen made an exasperated sound and Kensi started to say something, but Deeks held up a finger. “Arron Kingsley, however, is not my client.”

“Which means...”

“Anything Kingsley said in Deeks’ presence, is not subject to the same consideration,” Kensi explained, earning a pleased grin from Deeks.

“Exactly.”

Callen gave her another odd look, but didn’t comment.

“You could have lead with that.”

“True, I just wanted to see if you’d try to pull rank on me,” Deeks admitted easily. “Anyway, Kingsley talked about having a warehouse down in the shipping district. From the sound of his and my client’s last conversation, he’s planning on something big in the next few days.”

“You wouldn’t happen to have an exact location, would you?” Callen asked.

“I don’t, but I’m supposed to have dinner with my client tonight and I might be able to get him chatting if he drinks enough.”

“Good. Just be careful.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Deeks joked with another smirk. He started to rise, once again straightening his jacket and sleeves. “If that’s all today, I have a deposition in an hour.”

“Just one more question,” Sam said. “If you had this information, why didn’t you alert the authorities earlier?” Deeks didn’t seem offended by the question, but also wasn’t cowed by Sam at all.

“I did. I told Hetty and she asked me to sit on it and maintain the relationship for as long as I could. My client trusts me, and by default, so do many of his colleagues and friends. I’m in a prime position to hear all kinds of things without even trying.”

“Aren’t you worried that someone will find out you spilled and seek revenge?”

“I’m sure Hetty would never put Deeks in that position,” Kensi interceded.

“I think she’s assuming you’ll catch everyone involved before they have the chance to figure out I was the weak link,” Deeks explained. “So, no pressure.”

“Well, thank you for your time, Deeks,” Callen said. “We’ll get in touch if we need anything else.”

“Uh, actually, can I speak with Agent Blye for a second?” Deeks requested. Callen and Sam shared a knowing look before leaving the room.

As soon as they were gone, Kensi reached out and grabbed Deeks’ hand.

“Is everything ok? No one followed you, right?”

“I’m fine, Kens.”

“I hate you’re involved in this,” she sighed.

“It will be ok.” He tipped her chin up, eyes soft as he gazed at her. “I’ll be careful,” he promised.

“You better be.” She wished she could hug him, but they were already pushing things by holding hands.

“So, when are we going to tell everyone?” Deeks asked, likely trying to distract her. She ran her thumb over the gold band on his fourth finger, still bright and shiny.

“When this is over,” she decided.

***

A/N: Soooo, this is almost certainly not what anon intended, but this is where my mind ran with it.

Thanks for the prompt!

#ncis la fanfiction #marty deeks #kensi blye #team fic #densi #au #anonymous prompt #ejzah fanfiction

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imbellarosa · 4 years

Text

Let’s Talk Calm-ly about Two Loves

OR: When you’re a grown man who writes stories for a living, you definitely wrote your own weird bedtime story, too.

The TLDR here is that H has taken one specific listener around the globe, notably to Tokyo and Jamaica. He quotes an old Victorian Poet who was an awful human but who’s lasting legacy is the phrase “a love that dare not speak its name” which is - you guessed it - a reference to queer love. He also is super excited to spend what seems like the foreseeable future with this listener and has bought a little house with a garden of daisies with them and it’s very sweet and domestic. Anyways this is a wild time and it’s all under a cut because it’s...really a lot.

Anyways I think the people I owe thank yous this times around to are @queenlokibeth who had to listen to me scream about this for a while, Astrid, who screamed with me when this came out, and “M” who convinced me to finally get to work in this fandom. And, of course, all of the lovely people tagged below who’s work I used to build my argument.

1.) Who Wrote “Dream With Me”?

Well, not H, or so the story goes. Two other people (Steve Cleverly and Sanj Sen) did! I mean, right, okay, for a while I was like...that seems like an odd choice for a man who didn’t want to hand Two Ghosts over to his own band because it seemed too personal. He wrote on every song in both albums’ he’s released thus far, because he seems to be passionate about telling the stories he wants to tell (even if he won’t tell you explicitly what they’re about). But for a while, I was totally going with the flow there, and the rest of this analysis would still stand: the writer of this story definitely referenced a poem by Lord Alfred Douglas and Harry’s own songs.

However, I then read this fun quote from the Co-founder and CEO of Calm:

“Well,” he said, “The the Harry Styles one is interesting because that came purely from Harry Styles himself...we took the approach of creating a sort of musical epic poem – he doesn’t sing, it’s spoken with poetry, but there’s a sort of musical sound bed to it and it’s pulling on things and themes that Harry’s fans really adore about him and associate with him. So his story was driven really by him – we really created a concept around him.”

- Chris Advansun, July 7th, 2020 via @hlupdate

And I thought, hmmm. This does not sound like a project that he was not involved in creating. From this point on (July, 7th 2020), I began to think of it as a three way co-collaboration between him and the other two authors. But this confused me a bit, because there was largely a nonreaction from the fandom. I was waiting for an actual transcript, because I always fall asleep to these meditation stories, but it was being referenced to as some sort of Y/N fic, which was...honestly not what I expected, but also not implausible, thanks to the ~lovely~ image this man has had since the age of sixteen. But also, twitter seemed to be concerned by other things at the moment, and no one was analyzing the story. .

In fact, I messaged a friend the day that this story dropped, because it had been kind of a shit show day on Twitter. Rumors were sort of flying about everyone and everything: had Liam shaved his head? Was he engaged? Had he and Maya broken up? Were Zayn and Gigi engaged? Had they broken up? Did Niall have a girlfriend? (this one was true lol). Were Elounor engaged? Were they pregnant? Had they broken up??? My personal fav was the bald Liam rumor, which he promptly put to rest in LP Act 1 by...having a huge mane of hair.

So then I thought - huh. Why has today looked like this? I’m not saying that there aren’t days that twitter goes wild because of boredom, because there definitely is - the articles about secret meetings in Italy that are coming out this week (8/12/2020) are proof positive. So that definitely does happen, but it doesn’t usually happen on the days that there’s a lot of content. And maybe I’ve just been starved for content in this fandom, but I would consider a 40 minute video quite a bit of content.

Then the transcript dropped. I’m using two as references - this one on Wattpad and also @carl-and-pearl ‘s version here (thank you so much for the transcript!!). We’re going to get into a more detailed description of what’s going on in the story, but the first thing I recognized immediately is that it was first person POV. I knew that going in, based on the number of Y/N jokes going around on twitter. Then I read it aloud, and I realized that it read like a letter. Like an experience specific to the writer and the reader. And while that’s not super uncommon to write about an experience from the author’s POV - I listen to a podcast called Nothing Much Happens: bedtime stories for adults which has a similar concept - I thought it was odd that they were trying to include both the author and the listener. I completely understood why the y/n jokes were pertinent. But at the same time, it felt like something had snagged in my mind - like a particularly annoying splinter.

The conversations I was having around this story - completely based on the content, concept, and my own instinct - was that this story contained specific references to one person. I thought that it did read like a love letter, and that most identifying features would have been taken out, but the essence remained. Which, once I thought about it, was something that H excelled at doing. Think about Sunflower Vol 6 and Adore You and Canyon Moon and even Watermelon Sugar and Golden. Ask yourself, What do I know about the person they are about? They have skin that browns, they have a secret, they have mesmerizing eyes, they’re willing to dance in the kitchen with him (to dancehall), they have a belly, they’ve been through hard times, they’re witty, they have an accent, and they have lips. I know - super specific right?

So the splinter grew into a thorn - what was I missing? And then - when I was looking for something completely different - I stumbled upon this old interview Harry did with Zach Sang and the Gang Show back in 2017. For context, he was being asked about Sweet Creature. As you can imagine, it’s hard for people to believe he wrote such a beautiful love song when he hadn’t ever really had a long term relationship (two hearts in one home?? Who did you move in with, you can imagine them asking. When did you have time?). So what did he have to say about this?

"In my opinion,” he explained, “I think most songs are written for one listener. Maybe there's one thing in there that only they'll notice about them.... It's so much easier to say something in a song than it is to say it to someone and I think it's really amazing to be able to communicate through that and be able to wrap up everything that you want to say in three and a half minutes and say it in a song."

- HS, May 3 2017

By this time, please believe that I was screeching. Seeing this felt like he put into words the exact feeling I had about “Dream With Me”. It felt like a nod to someone that I didn’t know, which made the story hard to listen to, tbh. Although, I will say that when I did finally listen to it, it knocked me out and gave me odd dreams so. Once was enough for me haha!

So my new operating theory is exactly what Advansun said: I think that H was the primary writer/the driving force behind the story. Because of the references I’m about to run through, because it feels like the way he tells stories, and because they admitted to him being more involved than they originally claimed. That’s going to be how I write the rest of the analysis - under the impression that H had a direct hand in the story that was being put forth. However, I think that the analysis itself would stand whether or not he wrote any of it. It would just be a more tenuous reflection of him than I believe it to be.

2.) How Do I Love Thee? In Two Ways.

Before I jump into the story, let’s talk a little about the poem that I want to compare it to: Two Loves, by Lord Alfred Douglas. Let’s be clear this is not at all a defense of who Bosie was - he was a terrible person, particularly in his later years, when he’d converted to Catholicism and turned his back on his younger self, and his partner, Oscar Wilde. He was violently anti-Semitic, and turned his back on his own community. I want to get this out of the way because I very much believe that we should examine artists for who they are. That is, after all, what I am trying to do here.

But his poem Two Loves has often been used - much to his disappointment, I’m sure - as an exploration of queer love in Victorian times. A line that I will be exploring more deeply in a second was in fact used against Oscar Wilde in his trail for indecency . He attempted - unsuccessfully - to explain it away, but it was too blatantly about their relationship for even the British Victorian society to ignore. I really, really recommend a read of this poem, because it is - despite it’s author - a good piece of work, which explores the themes of shame and love and longing between two men in that time.

I’m going to start with my own background, as someone who’s analyzed fandoms before. I first came across this poem in the Sherlock fandom, with this analysis by @the-7-percent-solution, when I was running in that fandom, and she explains the poem brilliantly in just a few lines. I’m going to take a little longer to run through it, but if you want a concise explanation and a brilliant meta, I encourage you to run to their blog and check it out. That fandom taught me most everything I know about catching symbols and recurring themes and “clueing for looks” and I love it desperately, still.

But we’re here to talk about this fandom, so on with the poem! Essentially, the poem outlines a dream the speaker had: In his dream, he’s standing in a field with flowers - beautiful ones of all kind - and he meets this young man with clear blue eyes and bright red lips and they kiss a bit and have a picnic, and it’s all lovely. If you think I’m kidding, I’m really not. Please, read it for yourself.

Anyways, after they did they did the whole picnic thing, the speaker and his date go on a walk in this field, where they come across two figures. The first is described as,

“...fair and blooming, and a sweet refrain Came from his lips; he sang of pretty maids And joyous love of comely girl and boy, His eyes were bright, and 'mid the dancing blades Of golden grass his feet did trip for joy; And in his hand he held an ivory lute With strings of gold that were as maidens' hair, And sang with voice as tuneful as a flute, And round his neck three chains of roses were.”

- Two Loves, 1894

The speaker, however, was drawn to the second figure:

“He was full sad and sweet, and his large eyes Were strange with wondrous brightness, staring wide With gazing; and he sighed with many sighs That moved me, and his cheeks were wan and white Like pallid lilies, and his lips were red Like poppies, and his hands he clenched tight, And yet again unclenched, and his head Was wreathed with moon-flowers pale as lips of death. A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought in gold With the device of a great snake, whose breath Was fiery flame..”

- Two Loves, 1984

Of course, the speaker immediately asks the second man who he is. The second man says, “My name is Love”. The first man corrects him quickly:

“ He lieth, for his name is Shame, But I am Love, and I was wont to be Alone in this fair garden, till he came Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.”

-Two Loves, 1984

The second man sighs and acquiesces, “Have thy will. I am the love that dare not speak its name.”

It was, of course, this last line that really gave the meaning of the poem away. It was the line that was put to Oscar Wilde as proof of a romantic relationship, it was the line that went down in history as a way to refer to queer love, and it was the line that first stuck out to me when I was reading “Dream With Me”.

The reading here is clearly that “Love” is the love that is acceptable to society - easy, sweet, and cherished. “Shame” is the love that happens in secret - beautiful, alluring to the speaker, passionate, anxious ( as can be seen in the clenching and unclenching of his hands), and proud. He refuses to call himself as anything but what he is. The first man may call him Shame, but he refuses the name, and instead, offers a qualifier to his own descriptor. He is still love, he is just the love that can’t be spoken about.

3.) Walking in Golden Fields of Sunflowers

Now let’s talk about “Dream With Me”. I’m ignoring the first few stanzas (from the line “Have you ever wondered” to “What the two of us can find”.) because those are pretty standard introductory paragraphs to a guided meditation. So we start with the line “Let’s travel now to moonlit valleys...”.

I’m going to do the same thing I did with “Two Loves” first. I am going to describe literally, in general terms, what happens in the story. Warning, I change pronouns from “they” to “you” because the whole thing confuses me, but note that I’m always talking about the speaker and the listener:

So after doing the standard intro, the speaker and the listener take a walk through the woods enjoying nature, particularly the grass, the trees, and the blue sky above. You’re already clearly in love. Then you’re magically on a raft, with cherry blossoms all around you. If you want a good visual for that, here’s a site that has pictures from a boat rental in Tokyo where you can snuggle on a raft in the Chidorigafuchi moat. And then suddenly it starts raining, and they (you) watch the rain for a hot second, and then the scene magically shifts again, and you’re under a porch (although I guess it could be the boat rental’s porch. They do usually have covered areas).

Kind of furthering that theory, they then lounge by the shoreline, skipping stones and hanging out, looking at the snow capped mountains. In case you’re curious, because at this point I sure was, you can see mountains from certain areas in the city of Tokyo.

Anyways, then it’s snowing, and you’re magically in a cabin, just chilling by the fire, and you fall asleep again. You wake up somewhere else.

Where are you now? Well, you’re on a tropical island filled with palm trees. As an American, my mind immediately jumps to the Caribbean, but I suppose it could absolutely be in the Mediterranean as well. The island has white beaches, mangroves, a turquoise ocean, and a gorgeous, peaceful atmosphere.

If you’re curious as to what a mangrove looks like - and I certainly was - they are a group of trees and shrubs that live in the coastal intertidal zone and Jamaica is doing a massive restoration project involving primary school children to regrow this vital part of their ecosystem. More interestingly, there currently exist no mangrove forests in the Mediterranean, so my initial feeling that this scene would take place in the Caribbean was correct. On that note - again, because I was curious - Jamaica has gorgeous white sand beaches with turquoise oceans.

But I’ve gone off topic again! After you’re minds are “in tune” once more (trying to find a heartbeat, anyone?), you reappear in a meadow, with beautiful flowers of all kind, where you are now walking hand in hand through a field of sunflowers, which give the feeling a “warm and golden hue”. Then you come across a little farmhouse with daisies poking out (clearly I have no way of locating this anywhere in the world, but I assume that the UK has both sunflowers and daisies). It’s an empty house which was loved and left because of the passage of time, which inspires my favorite line in the poem: “ The thought of passing time inspires/A feeling that grows stronger”. It’s just...really sweet to me.

So, of course, they do what anyone would do when they come across an empty farmhouse, they go inside. And there, they begin to fall asleep, reflecting on all they have just seen, referencing other scenes of the poem: “ Moonlit valleys, Burdened forests, Gazing at the ocean. Summer meadows, Tranquil sunsets steeped in emotion”.

The next few stanzas are just going to be copy-pasted, and then I’ll go into them a bit, but this is the end of the poem, so they’re the final reflections;

“The tenderness we feel When we are close Two minds as one Surrounds us and connects us But we’ve only just begun.

For now we dream together Of all there is to follow. And know that sleep will keep us safe From now until tomorrow.

Maybe all the memories That we’ve gathered here tonight Are all dreams now remembered Or wishes in plain sight.

No matter what They’re with us now. For this night and forever. And every time we close our eyes They’re yours and mine to treasure.”

- HS, Dream With Me, via @carl-and-pearl

And that’s it! The literal story, in short, is that you started in a forest, then went to Tokyo (maybe) and then Jamaica (perhaps) and then back to a field of sunflowers and daisies in the UK (which is also a guess, it could be Italy or France or Idaho for all I know, but let’s call it an educated guess).

4.) My Dream Journal

So now that we know what happens in the story, how do we interpret this? Well, There are a few lines in the poem that I want to draw your attention to: the first takes place in the first part of this story, when you’re still in the forest. This is, I must say, the most direct reference to Two Loves in the whole poem/song/story. Both works are describing a walk in the woods with your loved one, and, in a fun reference in the middle of the story, Dream With Me says

The shimmering reflection Shows us smiling from above. But what we think But dare not speak is L-O-V-E love.

-Dream With Me, 2020

Remember that line I mentioned before? I am the love that dare not speak its name. Right, so that’s almost a direct quote. It also has a really fun nod to “I Would” (Would he say he’s in L-O-V-E?/Well if it was me then I would), but I digress.

This first part of the narrative, I feel, really sets up what the rest of it will look and feel like, in the same way that “Golden” sets the tone for Fine Line. (You didn’t think I was going to make a post about Harry and NOT mention Golden, did you?? If you did, I’m disappointed!!). So let’s take a look at what’s happening, and the language he’s using to describe it.

One of the best things about this poem is how vivid it feels. Of course, I’m about to argue that it’s vivid because it was based in reality, but let’s talk about the sheer amount of detail he uses to describe the place he’s walking through. The valley (canyon lmao) is moonlit, the grass and the leaves make mosaics of green, you’re walking by the heather (the symbolism of heather is good luck, admiration, and protection), the sepia sunlight breaks through the trees.

You know what it kind of sounds like? Sweet Creature. You’re about to roll your eyes at me! I can feel it! But listen, okay?

“Sweet creature Running through the garden Oh, where nothing bothered us But we're still young I always think about you and how we don't speak enough”

Which, to be honest, sounds like what they’re doing. They’re walking through the garden in the sun, not daring to speak about the Love that he (they both) feel, and instead refering to it in veiled Victorian terms.

And then we head to Tokyo! I know that you’re about to ask me why I think it’s Tokyo versus...idk, anywhere else? Well, for one, he went to Tokyo (to let it go) publicly in 2019. He was there for a few months, and there are some great pictures of that time:

Look! Here he is with his club owner friend and his dog, and a fun red bandanna! But let’s be honest, the dog really steals the show here. But wait! there’s more! More dog content, too!

This was on Jan 31st, 2019, and he’s taking the dog for a walk! Very cute! If nothing else, he spent a lot of time with dogs in Tokyo! And the city fits the description of the story. So I feel rather comfortable with my interpretation that this first date is a memory of this trip - or another - to Tokyo.

So what did “you both”do in Tokyo? Well, chill on a raft while the cherry blossoms flutter around you, clearly. You also refocused your purpose. What did he do in Tokyo in 2019? Well, he took time to think about and write songs for the album he was about to go record. Kind of like refocusing on what’s next, right? And then, in the story when “you both” had time to think amongst the lake and the water and the rain and the moon, and you’d come to the conclusions you needed to, you left. What did he do when he did the things he needed to? Well, he left, too.

And where did he go? Well, in real life, I suppose he went to do his job. But, in the story, you’re meant to be falling deeper and deeper into sleep, so it’s sort of like traveling backwards, you see? Like counting down to one. So you end up on this island with turquoise ocean and mangrove forests. I’m calling this Jamaica. Why? Well, the description fits, for one, down to the four types of mangroves that exists within its ecosystem.

And - probably the biggest reason - I can place him there, too. Here’s him in 2017:

I added this picture because the water around him....looks rather turquoise, doesn’t it? Kind of like he’s enjoying his time on a tropical island by the beach?? Oh, and here’s another one!:

The red bandanna makes a comeback!

So what are you doing in Jamaica, according to the story? Well, you’re hanging out, basically. Enjoying the beach and each other, of course! What else? To be exact, “[Your] thoughts dovetail and unify/ In tune two minds together”. I’m so glad that you’re tuned like an old guitar now! Congrats! Really happy for you!

What was he doing in Jamaica three years ago? Why, he was recording his first album, or so the story goes. I’ll tell you something: finding press for that album was literally the most difficult part of this whole analysis. I got a fair bit of the tattoo roulette with Kendall Jenner, and some things about Carolina, but the interview with Zach Sang took me like an hour and a half to find again to link. The fact that a lot of it has been buried is...not great, for posterity purposes. He’s going to want that one day.

But I’ve gotten off track again! We gotta go back and finish our story, right? What happens now? Well, this does:

hahahaha okay, I’m really sorry, but I had to. I’m not, actually, making it up though! According to the story:

“ As minutes turn to hours We drift off somewhere new. And visualize a stairway To a door we now walk through”

- Dream With Me, 2020

So maybe Louis was just...demonstrating for you.

Anyways! Where do you walk out to? A golden field full of sunflowers. You walk for a minute, then come across an old house with daisies popping up out of the garden. And that’s where the story ends. I guess you’ve made that farmhouse feel like home.

Now to the little reflection he does on the outro. The lines I want to bring your attention are: “The tenderness we feel when we are close two minds as one surrounds us and connects us but we’ve only just begun” and “Maybe all the memories that we’ve gathered here tonight are all dreams now remembered or wishes in plain sight.”

Let’s talk about the first sentence first. In the context of finding a home that could be a shared home, and a future, this is very much an “end of the story, beginning of our lives” sort of thing. You’re back from all over, and it’s time to settle down, and see what’s next.

And now the second sentence. I think this is the one that really drives my point about this story being a collection of memories he has - that’s what he calls it. The story is “gathered memories” that might also be called “remembered dreams” (think of how people say of vacations, “oh it was a dream!”) or you might call it “wishes in plain sight”. This feels in line with the rest of the story. In this stanza, he’s sort of letting you in a bit. If I’ve read this right - and I really think that I have - he’s giving the larger context for the story. It’s a collection of memories he’s had with someone he loves.

5.) Cool! Can you prove it?

I mean, I’d argue that if you read this far, I have proved it, but let’s make some more links, shall we? This was called a “muscial epic” that was “driven by him”. I’d argue that if I know my Victorian literature (thank you, Sherlock!), then he definitely does. Then there’s the fact that he quoted it, so. That did happen. And he knows what it means. And even if he didn’t, there were two other people on the story. Someone was more than capable of catching that one, and the fact that they didn’t speaks to intent. They want you to think of that phrase when you read this poem. They want you to think of that walk in the woods while you’re going on this one.

And, as for my assumption that this is for and about one person, well. Think about it. He said that he writes his songs for a single listener. I’m not saying it’s the same listener each time, let’s get that right, but it is always just for one person. With that, and with the assumption that he’s been involved in the writing of this story, I’d say that the same rule applies. He went with someone to Japan and Jamaica (J^2 haha). And, if I had to guess, it was the same person.

Why, you ask? Well, for one, if that weren’t the case, then this poem would no longer be for one listener, it would be for multiple. And, for another, imagine how awkward it would be to listen to it with his current partner and have to explain “oh, yeah that was the super romantic vacation I took with someone else” . And, I suppose that because I think that attitude of “refocusing” and “dovetailing” and “tuning” and getting excited about imagining all of the tomorrows with your partner speaks to a long term relationship breathing easily, you know?

I’m also going to argue that describing the aura around the house as “golden” was intentional, especially when paired with the location - in the middle of a field of sunflowers. Those are both direct references to his songs. And those two songs are particularly linked by the number 28. The third song that features 28 is Fine Line the song, but that’s a different story. Anywho! “Golden”’s bridge just repeats the word ‘golden’ twenty eight times (if you go here , you can count the bridge) and “Sunflower Vol. 6″ ends the song with 28 “boops” (believe me, I wish I was making this up. I’m not.). So then, once again, you’ve linked a story to two already linked songs.

And, even if you don’t buy the intentional repetition, they’re linked another way, aren’t they? The color scheme and the sun symbol. Sunflowers were named because of their sun-like appearance. They turn to face it. They symbolize loyalty and adoration. And then, of course, the sun is - say it with me - golden. And it - like the person in golden - waits in the sky, beautiful and dangerous and constant. And here that symbol is, in a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. At home.

This whole story feels like you’re taking the time to find that heartbeat that you think you might have lost, and sort of coming back to a space where you understand that this is what you want, now and forever. It feels like finding a home that could be yours forever, and it feels like walking through some of the moments that remind him of that.

It really is rather lovely, if you think about it, especially since he has a tendency to attribute “home” to people rather than place, in his songs. So it’s like. Going all around the world and always being at home.

#harry styles #calm #dream with me #two loves #honestly man #im happy for you #but ewww #be less sappy please #i mean #SOME OF US DONT HAVE THAT YET HAROLD #hahahaha i think im funny #long post ts #idk how else to tag this but im really proud of it #okay now i'll do the penguin song #promise hahaha

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crayonwriting · 4 years

Text

08 - Why, Why Did I Ever Let You Go

Summary: Maiko just wanted her good ol’ dad to walk her down the aisle. So, she invited the three men from your past in hopes of meeting him. The only problem was, which one of them is it?

Pairings: Oikawa Tooru x Reader, Bokuto Koutarou x Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

Disclaimer: This is based on the movie directed by Phyllida Loyd and written by Catherine Johnson which is inspired by the music of the pop group ABBA.

catch up here!

After a few hours of bustling about, you were finally able to set up the tables and a few decorations. You were currently untangling a long cord of fairy lights to test out in the evening. Just as you were about to unravel a small knot, Bokuto appeared out of the blue. You clutched at your chest slightly trying to calm your heart.

"Bokuto."

He chuckled. "Whatever happened to just 'Koutarou'?"

"What are you still doing here?" You returned your attention to the task at hand. The knot that you were trying to unravel earlier seemed to have tangled itself again. With Bokuto's presence nearby, it became difficult to continue. You dropped the fairy lights back in its box, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Here, let me help you with that." Bokuto knelt down on the other side of the box, picking up the knot you were working on. He unconsciously let his tongue peek out of his lips as he concentrated on his work. You took this time to admire him.

Bokuto, like Oikawa, has matured over the years. He seemed to retain his strong physique and his hair was the same length and colour as you remembered. He seemed much calmer than before. He used to shout obnoxiously whenever he wanted to.

"All done." He said with a proud smile. He noticed the way you were looking at him, which made his heart skip a small beat. He coughed into his hand, snapping you out of your small daydream.

"So, Y/N, would you like to go on a walk?" He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He scolded himself for acting like a teenager. But he couldn't help feeling like he is especially when it came to you.

"Why do you want to take a walk with me, Bokuto?"

"Can you please just call me Koutarou again?" He looked straight into your eyes. "And I just wanted to catch up with you. I also want to show you something. Please Y/N-chan." He jutted his bottom lip outward, doing his best attempt at a pout. Unfortunately for you, just like with Olkawa, it worked.

***

You and Bokuto took a small stroll around the village. He conversed with some of the locals, especially the elderly women. They were all fond of Bokuto and seeing him interact with them reminded you of his obaasan, Meiko.

That woman helped you stand on your feet when you found yourself broken and useless when Kuroo had left you. She saw you bumming about on the mainland and had asked what you were doing. You just gave her a vacant stare, proceeding to cry after. She tsked at the state you were in. She then invited you inside the small bar that she owned and made you drink a glass of water. Too numb to form a coherent response, you just did what she said robotically.

After finally explaining to her what had happened, she offered you a job in her bar. With nothing else to do, you agreed. You worked as a waitress and a bartender and then after a few weeks, when her son had dropped by the bar to perform with his band, you became a singer for the bar. Everyone was mesmerized by your voice and you enjoyed singing in front of the crowd—it reminded you of all the good times you had with Yoshiko and Rika.

“Thank you for the fruit!” Bokuto bowed in respect before returning to your side. He took a bite of the apple he had bought from a stall and handed the plastic bag to you. “Do you want some, Y/N?”

You shook your head. “It’s okay, Bokuto.” He grimaced at you still refusing to call him by his first name. “So, you said you wanted to show me something?” This seemed to lift his mood and he then proceeded to lead you to the docks. When you neared the end, you gaped at the beautiful vessel in front of you painted in a clean white color accented by an amazing wood brown. He stretched his arms out wide as he made jazz hands towards the boat.

"Ta-da! Meet my beautiful princess!" Bokuto put his hands on his waist and looked at his boat like a proud father. "My pride and joy." He looked at you, still gaping. "So? What do you think?"

"When you said you had a boat, I didn't think it was this kind of boat! I thought you were referring to, I don’t know, a tugboat or something."

He laughed at your comment. "Now why would I get a tugboat? That’s interesting, though.” His expression then softened a little as he looked at you. “Remember when I told you I wanted to travel the world? What better way to do it then by sailing?” You nodded at the memory, remembering it very clearly.

You've been spending every day then with Bokuto ever since he arrived. He helped out at the bar and has been nothing but sweet and fun to be around with. In that short amount of time together, you had told him about staying and living on the island and he had told you about his dream of travelling the world.

Bokuto also voiced his concern about the rising prices of flights. So, you suggested, albeit jokingly, that he buy a boat which could serve as his accommodation—besides transport—to cut off expenses. He considered the thought and he did just that, a few years later.

“You told me to buy a boat and I did. Best thing to come to my life.” Besides you, he wanted to add.

“It was a joke!”

“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, “Can’t give this back now, can I? And besides, I don’t regret one thing.” That includes you.

“Do you join races as well, like you once told me you would?”

“Hell yeah! I just won one recently. I mean, not to brag.” He puffed out his chest in pride which only made you laugh.

“Let’s take her out for a spin!’ He gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards the boat.

“Eh? But I have to prepare the villa and—”

“Just to that small part of the island over there,” he pointed to the distance, “And I’ll sail you right back. I promise.”

The sun was still high up in the sky, casting its bright rays upon the island. The whole place was bright and beautiful—the aquamarine of the sea, the green leaves of the trees, the faint smell of salt in the air—you could’ve sworn you were living in a postcard or something.

And in the midst of the beauty of Kalokairi, stood in the middle was Bokuto who already had a foot on the small ladder of his boat with his palm open towards you. His golden eyes were gleaming and his smile made something bubble in you that felt warm—almost as warm as the sun’s rays.

You took his hand in yours.

***

"This is amazing!" You held unto the sides of the boat as it seamlessly glided along the waves. Bokuto smiled at your amazed state from his position on the wheel.

Soft music played on his phone in his pocket as he continued to watch you. It seemed like you were in some type of cheesy music video, with the way your hair was flowing in the wind and the orange glow of the sunset seemed to accentuate your features.

Not able to help himself, he gradually slowed the boat down and anchored it in the middle of the sea but still fairly close to the shore. You eyed him curiously as he approached you.

“What are you planning?” You raised an eyebrow, suspicious.

“Nothing, nothing.” He pulled out his phone and changed the song that was currently playing. When the first few notes had played you immediately groaned and slapped a palm to your face. Of course he would pick that song.

"This is my favorite jam!" Bokuto started snapping his fingers and moved his hips to the beat. You covered your face in embarrassment for him. He did the exact same thing all those many years ago.

You were working a night at the bar when the band wanted you to perform a song. This was the song that was chosen that night and Bokuto had sung—and danced—with you. You didn't feel embarrassed then but being reminded of it right now, you realized that it's one of the silliest things you've ever done.

"C'mon Y/N-chan, dance with me!" He grabbed your wrists and swayed you from side to side. He tentatively pulled you closer to him but you didn't notice. Bokuto circled his hips comically making you laugh. “Aww, you danced that night away like there was no tomorrow! Don't be shy, it's just me." He eyed you with a soft look and smile. Bokuto always had the easiest and contagious smile you knew of. You found yourself relaxing a little bit in his hold before you experimentally shimmied your shoulders.

"Now, that's the spirit!" Bokuto moved with you and soon enough you were dancing, albeit ridiculously, and belting to the song's chorus.

The song was only almost five minutes long but it felt like a lifetime to Bokuto. He spent the first two convincing you to dance with him and the other three minutes to actual dance with you. His heart thumped erratically against his chest in both excitement and nervousness.

The way your shoulders would brush against his or when you pressed your back against his chest to recreate that one dance move that night, all of these may mean nothing to you but to him it felt like electricity.

The song had ended with you and Bokuto chest to chest. You were slightly out of breath because of the slight adrenaline but after realizing the almost non-existent distance between your faces, you suddenly found it hard to breathe. Both of you remained quiet, only staring into each other's eyes. Bokuto pulled you in just a tad bit closer.

"Koutarou." You watched his eyes flicker for a moment. Finally hearing his first name tumble out of your mouth made his eyes widen for a moment. You gave him a small smile which you hoped conveyed everything you wanted to say. You searched his eyes and you could see the wheels turning in his head. You giggled softly at the way his eyebrows were slanted as he was deep in thought. You pressed your thumbs against them lightly, smoothing them out.

"I need to get back now." You said.

Not this soon, please. He pleaded inside his head. He looked at you for any signs of hesitation, maybe, but you were determined. Bokuto smiled, a tight-lipped smile before nodding once and going back to his position behind the wheel.

The sun had just set on the horizon when you arrived back. The walk back up the docks was quiet but comfortable. Spending the past hour with Bokuto made you think of what might have been—just like what you thought of when you were with Oikawa earlier. What if it was Bokuto who you ended up with? Would it always be like this, afternoon sailing with some dancing and karaoke? Would he even have his beat in the first place? You shook your head at your silly daydreams.

Just when you neared the end of the docks, you turned to him and stated that you can walk back on your own, emphasizing as well how you knew the island like the back of your hand.

"Thank you for sailing me around on your boat. It was also nice catching up with you." You didn't know what possessed you to do so, but you wrapped your arms around him, pressing your cheek on his shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Koutarou. I'm glad you're still chasing your dreams." You tried pulling away but Bokuto pulled you back to him, placing a hand at the back of your head and one on your back.

"I'm proud of you too, Y/N-chan."

The hug only lasted for a few more seconds before you finally pulled away. You took a few steps back, waving goodbye. Before you were out of reach, he took your hand and kissed the back of it. You flushed lightly and just nodded and walked away.

Bokuto sighed to himself, kicking at the ground. If only he'd return to Kalokairi after that visit with his aunt then maybe, things would've been different between you two.

tags: @yikes-buddy / @ushi-please / @melodiamore / @akaashi-todorki / @honeymoneyy / @minty-mangos-world / @ochabby / @paettonissahotcheeto / @chrisrue15 / @cottage-babe2 / @tsukkx / @yashinosakura / @coconut-dreamz / @roseestuosity / @youstydiaa / @shiningstar-byulxx / @mkkhaikyuu / @waywardtrashfam / @otaku-fangirlse / @juni-multifandom / @voids-universe / @chimsblogg / @1-800-imagine / @awkward-bard /

a/n: eight part, yay! y’all might’ve have noticed how bo’s chapter is longer than oikawa’s. and fluffier too. my explanation’s kinda long, so i just might do that when this series is over. but hey, if you get it then yay!

the song reader-chan and bo danced to should’ve been ‘Why Did It Have to Be Me?’ like in MM2, but the song I had in mind was ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)’ by Whitney Houston.

same warnings as before. this isn’t proof read. i’m sorry. point out any errors or confusing parts to me! my inbox is always open.

only 2 chapters left! i don’t want to say goodbye yet!

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

Note

Hi I just want to ask something. Do you think Jungkook has been always like/love Jimin the way he is before or just when he started to glow up. I'm just asking this bc you know Jungkook has been always rank Jimin last on looks or said he look different without makeup before. I know he didn't meant harm to Jimin but do you think Jimin has been trying to look good and go on extreme diet to be loved by Jungkook or Jungkook has been always trying to hide his feelings for him but act tough

Huh?...

What an interesting question....

For a moment there I thought I had already discussed this in my blog posts? Chileee.

Now you'd have to specify which period in time you consider a glow up point for Jimin. Do you mean the period of 2014/15 when he was starving himself, passing out on stage and bleeding through his nose to stay anorexic? *Side eyeing you.

To me, Jimin's 'glow up' coincided with their debut in 2013. Those fine abs, sculpted muscles yet soft toned feminized features- sorry Jimin, you weren't fooling no one.

This was also the period I noticed JK showing overt signs of sexual and emotional attraction towards Jimin. Jimin just seemed oblivious to it. And he would begin his own whipped journey around 2015/16 in my opinion.

Personally, I believe JK fell first for Jimin and 'turned' him- turned for lack of a better word. I don't buy into this whole Jimin fell first JK fell harder rhetoric.

But I think JK's interest in Jimin began long before this period. I don't think Jk had fully grasped the concept of his own sexuality much less to have come to terms with it in any time before 2012- before Jimin arrived in Bangtan- ok maybe he had a vague idea of it, but I do believe Jimin was his sexual and romantic awakening.

Jk and Jimin have two very distinct and opposite idol personas. I keep saying this.

Since we don't know them in person, I think it's safe to assume every aspect of them we experience on screen is a persona.

That persona is a facade, a curated wall on which they project bits and pieces of their true self and often put up a performance of this identity for our consumption.

In Jk's persona, he likes to retract and conceal aspects of his true personality and censor himself a lot while JM likes to amplify and exaggerate his true personality and put up a performance of it.

As I've said, it's mainly due to their backgrounds. JK was given a lot of leeway in his upbringing which he feels puts him at a disadvantage because he ends up exposing himself too much. Thus he likes to retract and hold himself back.

Jimin coming from a conservative background with many rules and what not revels in the new found freedom Idol life gives him so often he doesn't hold back as much as JK does. But that doesn't mean that who they really are in real life.

So often you'd hear people say Jimin looks more serious in person than he does on camera while JK is said to be more expressive than he usually is on camera.

But here is the thing, concealing his feelings is not JK's nature it's his choice. And this is very important to note. He chooses not to do certain things on camera while Jimin chooses to do certain things on camera.

So when JK is not showing his feelings for Jimin it's not because he can't show those feelings, it's more like he doesn't want to show those feelings.

Thus when people say he wasn't showing his feelings for Jimin because he was shy I raise my brows- Shy my ass. Lol

Was he acting tough then? Hmmmm. He likes to act tough no two ways about that. I've said he has a good poker face between him and Jimin. If you are not careful you might think he doesn't like Jimin. But trust me, that man is whipped on god.

But I don't think that's what he was doing in those early dynamics.

I think he was hesitant in pursuing Jimin openly at the time because he wasn't sure about Jimin's sexual orientation much less whether or not Jimin reciprocated the feelings he had for him.

And you could tell not knowing these about Jimin terrified JK a lot, hence his hesitation.

But later when he was certain of both he became more confident in the way he expressed himself and his feelings for Jimin.

Prior to this you could see him fishing and testing the waters with Jimin, slowly pushing Jimin's boundaries- a gentle touch here, a lingering stare there.

He would often pay attention to the things Jimin would say but especially about his romantic and sexual preferences. Like when Tae said he felt Jimin liked men and when Jimin was asked about why he liked JK and JK seemed like he wanted to know.

Then he went through that phase where he seemed obsessed with Jimin's reaction to when other guys sexualised him and expressed interest in him. He seemed very attentive to these little details in a way that seemed to me as if he was fishing for confirmation that Jimin actually liked men and liked him- in a nonplatonic manner.

I feel Jimin noticed these things too in JK but was mostly fascinated by it. So often he would go out of his way to express his sexuality, exaggerate it and perform it as if to let JK know he was ok with JK liking him in that kind of way. Often, you'd see him egging JK on to touch him where JK seemed hesitant, reassuring JK- I think y'all know the bit I'm talking about. I feel JM wanted JK to feel comfortable expressing his interest in him- he ain't slick.

I've said Jimin's persona is a performance. I can see how to JK that could be very confusing. Hell, half of the fandom still read Jimin wrong to this day. Is he gay, bi, straight, a woman, a man, bigender- it's a lot of questions. Legitimate questions.

And I think for JK, seeing Jimin behave like the rest of BTS with the skinship towards him was equally confusing. So often he would shy away from it. Jk was going through puberty, everything was heightened for him.

It's also important to consider the possibility that, if JK was LGBTQ plus that he was going to hide it and not come out to his bandmates for as long as he worked with them- because it's none of their business first and foremost but also because it would have affected their attitudes towards him.

I mean look at the fear and panic with which they greet Jikook when Jikook breath anywhere near eachother in public spaces- not to call them out or anything but I don't think if they were straight that they were going to treat them same. I mean Taejin is as wild as Jikook but.... sigh.

So then going on to catch feelings for one of such said band mates who gives off queer vibes, he had better be sure about him before coming out to him and confessing to him lest he risked his career and friendship with him.

If Jimin wasn't LGBTQ plus it would have been cruel of him to act the way he does with JK honestly. For instance Joking about marriage knowing full well the fight LGBTG plus couple have to put up to have this basic human right- of course JK would yeet himself out of that conversation. I'm talking about that Jikook Vlive and all the time JK has squeezed his face disgruntledly when Jimin has asked him to have his kids- like why Jimin!

Jimin I feel because he is Bi whatever doesn't take this gay business seriously at all. If you've ever dated a bisexual you'd know the feeling. He is my bias and I love him but God he frustrates me for Jk honestly.

What annoys me most is I know how deep he is into JK. Like I've never seen a man so in love with another man in my entire queer life! Like shut up whippidy whipped ass we saw your face at Manila. You like that man. You like him.

Let JK put up a front and you'll see this tactless homegirl descending into that space we all hate so much and embarrassing himself left right left clinging on to JK seeking validation and reassurance- like can you be serious in your life for once Park Jimin. 😒

Anywho, I went off on a tangent there. Sorry.

But yes, this is another aspect of their dynamic I feel most people get twisted. Jimin enjoys JK's expressions of interest in him- however way he does it. Jk enjoys it too when Jimin shows him he wants him. Remember magic shop? Show me, I'll show you? And that line JK sang to Jimin that made Jimin nervous on Live with VMin? Yea...

They love each other and they love when the other is showing and expressing their love. Hell, isn't that why they are constantly trying to find creative ways to communicate their love? 5/8, love letters punctuated with sorries? Chileee.

Could Jimin's look be a contributing factor to JK liking him? Let me put it this way. People are attracted to people for a plethora of reasons, physical appearance being one of them.

Looks attract people, emotional connection binds them and make them stay. I have said this time and again JK is attracted to all of Jimin-looks, everything. When asked which part of of Jimin he liked most he put all of Jimin as the answer.

With regards to JM's weight, I think the tears he shed on stage during the performance of I Need You says it all. Jimin was killing himself and it was killing JK. Jimin wasn't doing all that out of self love much less for the love of JK.

He was doing all that because he wanted to be an Idol in every sense of the word. He was killing himself for his career. A career JK was once willing to walk away from and JM advised him to stay.

Jk defies the dictates of his career with the piercings and tattoos and gay pubs- the emphasis is mine. Y'all think he is about to be demanding of his life partner to look like what now? Chileee.

And when JK was starving himself and losing weight who was it that brought him down that ledge? Jimin. If it was a positive thing I thing he would have encouraged him.

Jk allegedly called Jimin his Mochi in that infamous graduation night track video. Did you see his reaction to when James Corden called Jimin Mochi? Baby fat cheeked Jimin was cute not ugly. And even if you think he was, JK still found that attractive. Jimin could be looking like my Aunt Becky and Jk would still fuck him.

Have you seen JK freeze frame to take snapshot photos of Jimin? It's almost always pictures of Jimin looking like the wicked witch of the west. He loves him some park Jimin memes. Loves that man to death.

How many times have he said Jimin looks beautiful without makeup? Remember the Vlive Jimin didn't want to be on camera because he didn't have makeup on? What did JK say?

Jk isn't a shallow person you know. He really isn't. He doesn't strike me as the kind at all. Questions like these presupposes that JK is a vain shallow person who only likes people for their looks. Don't get me wrong, it's a valid question, one that I'm happy to discuss but it also exposes the biases against JK and indirectly, Jimin.

Do you feel JK is shallow? I find a lot of people do and it breaks my heart.

Have you heard any of his songs? His GCFs?

He barely idolizes his subject matter's looks and appearances. You gave me the best of you, so I'll give you the best of me. What I found in you is real. That's doesn't sound shallow to me.

They work in a highly competitive and highly vainglorious environment. I think they know more than anything the dangers of vanity- it's fleeting. They put themselves through so much to appease the vanity matrics, to subject people they love through the same.

I've talked about how because JM comes from a demanding home and work environment that acceptance is one key aspect of his love language. He wants a person who loves him for who he is and accepts him without placing expectations on him.

If JK was this shallow JM wouldn't honestly have found him attractive much less love him to begin with. He wouldn't have found fulfillment and nourishment from JK. He loves JK because JK's values and upbringing makes him the perfect person for him to trust himself fully to.

Besides, for JK to be only attracted to JM because he glowed up, he himself must have been a ten from the onset which he wasn't let's be honest- no shade to him but he wasn't exactly packing now was he?

BTS are pretty but they've all undergone hefty transformations throughout the years, magic foreheads and all. So if you wonder if Jimin's glow up contributes to JK liking him, then you'd have to wonder if Jk glowing up also contributed to Jimin finding him attractive- it's a vicious cycle.

As for JK ranking Jimin last... did he ever rank himself first? No. He ranked Jimin last and himself second to last consistently. If he found Jimin unattractive he certainly found himself as equally unattractive only one step above Jimin.

I honestly think he was just teasing Jimin. He loves teasing Jimin because it's how he flirts with him. It's just the masculine energy in him I guess. V does this too when he flirts with Jimin. He teases him about his pinky, his Mochi cheeks and his glow up- Iland anyone?

Why y'all think JK looked away sharp when JM dropped to the floor?? He recognized what V was doing- don't mind me. I'm trolling. Lol. But deadass.

Jimin teases JK too by acting like he is available most times. It's the feminine energy in him. Girls like to tease their crush by amplifying their sex appeal. What better way to amp up your sex appeal than by having other people show interest in you? Jimin is a tease. Bless him.

Besides, when JK ranked Jimin first in looks he ranked himself last. I hope y'all don't think it's because he has low self esteem?

He ranked himself and Jimin last because he wanted to humble himself and by extension Jimin because he sees himself as Jimin's equal and as such recognizes their place as the youngest within the group. As he has explained, as the youngest, he places everyone else above him.

I honestly don't think Jungkook had always been interested in Jimin. But somewhere along the line while he came to terms with his own sexuality he began developing feelings for Jimin. His glow up had nothing to do with it. In my opinion.

I think Jimin caught him off guard? It's that red string serendipity destiny voodoo working its magic that orchestrating their love. In my opinion.

I don't think either of Jikook went searching for this love thingy either as I keep saying. It wasn't planned, it wasn't foreseen, it just happened to both of them but at a different pace.

I hope this helps?

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikook #jikook theories #kookmin analysis #kookmin #kookmintheories #jikook analysis #jikook scenarios #jikooktheories #Ask response #ask goldy #GOLDY #nightswithkookmin

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minsugapie · 4 years

Text

Make Me: part 4 (1897 words) - apartment 702

• • • • • •

After you find out the apartment building you want to move into doesn’t allow singles, you meet Jin, a man in the same predicament as you.

You never knew that being fake engaged to somebody would simultaneously make your life so much easier and that much harder.

And like all fake dating stories, shit hits the fan when one of you starts to catch feelings.

• • • • • •

PREV // 4 // NEXT

masterlist

• • • • • •

Tags :

@zxlla @rjsmochii @nmjcn @tan-dulset @fantasia-minhyuk @ephyra1230 @atinymaiden @its-yagirl-raelynn @uxwi @imynnow @lowlifeoeuvre @hannahdinse8 @samros95 @daegufeels @yoongisabby @dreamcatcherjiah @echointhelibrary @live-2-fangirl @jinsearth

• • • • • •

You were kind of nervous, if you were being honest with yourself. Jin was going to meet you at the shop and then the two of you would walk over to the apartment together with Bambi. Today was finally the meeting with the landlord to sign your half of the contract. You were still wondering how Jin was able to sign his half of the contract early, but you weren’t going to pry. Maybe you’d find out later anyways.

You thought it was unlike yourself to jump into something the way that you were jumping into this, but you were desperate to leave Yoongi and Moonbyul alone. You were sure that they’d never kick you out, but you didn’t really want to impose on them and their relationship. They’d never get any alone time.

There was barely anyone in the shop as you waited for Jin to meet you here —only Yoongi dealing with a single customer behind the counter.

Looking down at your left hand that you were using to pet Bambi, you observed the small gold band you’d found to put on your ring finger. It wasn’t much, but it was all you could find in the short notice to make you seem engaged. It was convincing enough, you thought; however, you can’t help but know that it’s not what you’d actually want as an engagement ring. You didn’t want something huge, but you wanted at least a diamond.

“What time is he supposed to be here again?” Yoongi asked from behind the counter, breaking you out of your impractical fantasies. The bell of the shop rang as the customer he was just helping exited.

“He should be here any minute, I guess. I’m just nervous, you know,” you admitted, scratching under Bambi’s collar. It was his favourite spot. He leaned into you, almost collapsing onto the floor. Hobi left him here this morning because he knew that the landlord would want to meet Bambi when signing the agreement.

“Hopefully by the end of the day you’ll be a new leaser, right? And you won’t have to live on my couch for a month…” He said the last bit under his breath, but you knew that it was all in good fun. It wasn’t that you would have wanted to live on his and Byul’s couch, but that was certainly better than behind the counter of the shop.

The door bell chimed again; this time a man in a police uniform came into view. You didn’t want to smile, but you couldn’t help it. He had a goofy look on his face when he saw you, and it only became more funny as he walked to where you and Bambi were waiting for him. In a second, he got down on one knee.

He hadn’t even said hello yet.

“Y/N, I just knew that you probably didn’t have a ring, so I have this one for you to wear,” he said seriously, picking up your left hand.

You gaped at him, barely noticing the surprised expression on his face when he saw the gold and already there. He shook his head and feigned hurt, “Ouch, babe, you already got one?”

But he still took it off and slipped on a beautiful diamond ring. If you weren’t gaping before, you definitely were now. “Jin! What is this?! Get up!” You grabbed his arm and led him back onto his feet.

“What?” He smiled, making eye-contact with Yoongi behind the counter. He’d seen the exchange and was silently laughing at the situation in front of him.

“This…you…no…I can’t…” you trailed off, not knowing what to say. That was too expensive for you to wear around when you weren’t even together!

“Relax,” he drawled, taking your hand and opening the palm before placing the gold band into it. “It used to belong to someone but she no longer wants it. Plus, if you’re going to be my fiancee, you have to at least look the part! I would never settle for a gold band…I mean unless she hated diamonds but that doesn’t even matter I guess, so I don’t know why I’m talking about it again. Uhh, but yeah, it’s not important. Just wear it.”

You didn’t ask any questions, smiling at his nervous rant, but you heard deep sadness in his voice around all the joking.

Bambi whined at your feet, wanting attention again. Jin was the first to come to him and picked him up from he ground. He was in his element. For some reason, Bambi loved men, and you knew right now that he was a fan on Jin. He licked his neck a few times and couldn’t stop wagging his tail. You really couldn’t help but smile.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked, putting Bambi back into the floor, locating his leash hanging on a hook beside the door. Walking over to grab it, he bent down and hooked it onto Bambi’s collar. When you didn’t answer right away, he looked up at you expectantly.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Are you going to change?” You asked. He was still in his uniform after all.

“I have to get back to work right after.”

You nodded, it made sense…but… “What if she thinks it’s unprofessional?”

Jin thought about it for a second and then shook his head. “Nah, she’s not too bad.”

You deadpanned. “Her unwritten apartment rules are low-key illegal, I think, and you think she’s chill? I mean fine. It’s your call.” You threw in a small laugh, trying to hide your anxiety.

Looking back at Yoongi, you called, “Okay, we’re leaving! I’ll be back soon!”

Yoongi waved you off like he couldn't care less. “Yeah, yeah I got it covered here. Go!”

You looked at Jin, who seemed to be happily walking Bambi. “So do you think we’ll be convincing enough?” You asked, falling into step beside him.

“Sure? Why wouldn’t we be?” He asked, grabbing your hand. Before you could ask why, he continued. “We need to b comfortable touching each other, Y/N. That’s what couples do. I will hold your hand at the meeting, so I want it to feel like we’d at least done it once before.”

“Oh, okay,” you answered, linking your fingers with his. It felt nice, actually. You hadn’t bothered to date recently, just because you didn’t find anyone to be that interesting. But this felt good. Human contact was nice.

“Are you okay with this?” He asked, stopping once the apartment building came into view.

“It’s a little late, don’t you think?” You joked, nudging your shoulder with his.

“Then don’t freak out, but I’m going to kiss you right now. We need to get it over it.” His eyes didn’t meet yours. Instead, he looked at your lips.

What?

He kissed you as soon as he said he was going to, not really giving you a chance to think. It seemed like he pulled away as soon as he started, however.

“You call that a kiss?” You joked, tilting your head to the side.

“What?” He laughed, pulling further away. He was blushing, and you thought it was adorable.

“Don’t freak out, but I’m going to kiss you right now,” you used his own words against him. You kissed him a little more forcefully than he had, not worrying about being gentle. You realized that you’d wanted to kiss him. You held onto his neck as you nudged him. You could tell he was hesitant to kiss you deeper, but you were satisfied when he finally did.

But he still cut it off by pushing your shoulders back. “Are you ready to go in?”

You pretended to not feel a little hurt, but the feeling vanished once he smiled brightly at you. “I guess…”

“It’s not you, Y/N. I promise. You’ll find out in a few minutes whether I want you to or not,” he revealed, pulling you into the office where you were meeting the landlord.

“What do you m—” You tried to ask but were cut off by the landlord herself.

“Are you two ready to come in?” She seemed nice enough, but you knew that was probably an act considering her strict rules for tenants. “Cute dog,” she added as she was walking back to her chair.

“His name is Bambi,” you revealed sitting in one of the two chairs opposite her desk. Jin took the seat to your left and naturally took your hand in his. He pulled in onto his lap. Bambi jumped onto yours, settling into you like he did every night after work.

“So Jin, this is your fiancée?” She asked, eyeing you. “Did you like your wedding present?”

“I’m so pleased,” you answered, putting a few pieces of the puzzle together. Clearly, Jin was supposed to move into here with is fiancee, but she was nowhere to be found. Also, your guess was that the ring was hers. It almost made you a little sick to be wearing another woman’s ring. The only consolation was that it wasn’t like you two were actually engaged.

“If you two don’t mind, I’ll just run over the agreement with you and then we can sign and I’ll show you your apartment!”

You nodded, petting Bambi as you tried to settle your nerves. It was kind of boring, but you took it all in. You still couldn’t believe this was all happening. When she was finished, you quickly signed your name on the dotted line, and you were headed to the assigned apartment.

Jin held the door open for the both of you and then quietly grabbed your hand again. It calmed you, having his hand in yours, and you wondered if he felt the same, considering he rarely let it go.

“You two will have apartment 702. So we’ll just head to the elevator…”

You looked at Jin, who was tapping his feet to the elevator music and then to the landlord, who had an almost pleasant smile on her face.

In a second, you were outside the door to the apartment, and she was handing Jin the key. He opened the door for you and you walked inside, amazed at the place. It wasn’t furnished, but the hardwood floors were beautiful and the kitchen was huge. “It’s perfect,” you whispered before leaning down to Bambi and telling him, “This is your new home, Bud!”

You smiled up and Jin and then the landlord before handing her your phone. “Do you mind taking a picture of the three of us?”

“Oh! Of course!” She said, taking the phone from your hands. You walked back to Jin and put your arms around his waist. He looked down at you and then at the camera with a smile.

“If you could take a few, that would be perfect,” Jin added, kissing your cheek before turning you to kiss your lips.

“Ok, I got them! I should get back to work though, so…have fun you two,” she said, giving you back your phone and then closing the door behind her with a wink.

Once the door was closed, you looked back at Jin with a big smile on your face and then raced to look inside the bedrooms. Oh yes, you would be happy here.

• • • • • •

YIKES i’m sorry. i think i say that a lot...but i really mean it. i hope to update regularly now but i’m still working on dealing with some personal problems so please bare with me :(

on a more positive note, is anyone else excited for school to start up again? or just me? all my courses at uni are online which sucks but i fr fr love school so lol

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skinks · 5 years

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mr wentworth yes i help my son with his goofy voices yes i am a dilf tozier has the salt n pepper hair of god (oscar isaac) and the sexy librarian glasses to match

god I had never even considered that... the range of this...

Went starts going gray at 32 when Richie is 5 and it’s all the church women’s group can talk about... indirectly, of course. Oh, but he’s so young. Oh, he’ll be balding next. Oh I don’t know, doesn’t he look... distinguished? Mrs Nash from just down their street sees him doing rock-paper-scissors with his son Richard in the grocery store to determine whether or not Richard is allowed ice cream, and Dr Tozier is laughing because he’s winning, and he’s winning because Richard doesn’t know his father can see his little hidden hand reflected in the freezer cabinet, tucked behind his back. Richard’s laughing too, even though he’s losing, and bleats, “Again! Dad again,” eyes shining big as planets with coke-bottle rings.

“Don’t you know what best two out of three means? That was four draws ago.”

“No! No, I’ll win!” The boy shakes his head so hard his whole body rocks from side to side, then clings up at Dr Tozier’s middle with sticky hands. His very... trim middle. Helen’s own Rory, God love him, he enjoys a sudsy six-pack too much these days to keep a middle like that. “Two outta three! Three ice creams please Dad please please Dad please watch I can count to a hundred—”

“Well, we’re not playing hide-and-go-seek right now, Rich. And I beat you, didnt I?”

“Yeah!”

“Right. So why don’t you go get Dad six apples instead, alright? If you can do a hundred, six’ll be pie.” Dr Tozier claps his big hands gentle to the boy’s round cheeks, until they goldfish.

“Easy as,” they chant together. Helen props herself up with the handles of her own cart, the can of little hotdogs going slack in her hand.

“Six apples, then come right back. You got that, doc? You pick the color.”

Richard nods like he’s trying to detach his own head. Dr Tozier puts one hand just briefly on Richard’s dark mophead hair, like he’s giving the boy a blessing for his apple adventure. His hand is really quite broad, thinks Helen, popped out square at the thumb-joint. Matches that jawline of his, something whispers darkly in her stomach. Then the boy’s off, tearing down the aisle on a squeaking chariot of scuffed-gray sneakers and babbling what sounds like a Bugs Bunny impression, repeated on a loop. What’s up doc what’s up doc what’s up doc, fading around the corner to the fruit. Peculiar. Helen once saw the Tozier boy eat a worm at the park while pushing her youngest on the swings, after another solemn-eyed little boy with a faceful of freckles had carefully presented it to him in the sand box. Most peculiar.

Dr Tozier watches him go, then turns back to the freezer cabinet, and sticks two cartons of ice cream into his shopping cart—the very sugary kind. And the man is a dentist!

Helen puts her hand on her chest to calm the trilling schoolgirl rush of her heart, and then stops herself at the sight of her own wedding ring. Get a hold of yourself, Mrs Nash! For Pete’s sake! She trundles her cart over for some chit-chat. Afternoon, Doctor, she says, lovely weather. A perfect neighbourly opener. It is lovely; bright and warm and clear and golden, like honey outside. She’s quietly smug about her new blowout. Dr Tozier is wearing a crisp shirt with buttons like neat soldiers and short sleeves, exposing lean forearms. Yes, a lovely day. Helen swallows.

“Yes, good for the lawn,” replies Dr Tozier.

“We missed Margaret at book club this week,” Helen hedges.

“Oh, that’s right,” says Dr Tozier, and the fine lines at the corners of his eyes when he grins are even more distracting without the facemask he’s usually wearing, when Helen drops in for her check-ups. He pushes his spectacles up the strong slope of his nose. They’re wiry like him, steely gray to match his eyes. “She meant for me to tell you, or Diana. Maggie’s been in Skowhegan for the week at her mother’s. My mother-in-law is a woman of... nervous disposition, shall we say. Maggie didn’t think she’d cope with two Tozier men at once, now that Richie’s started losing his teeth.”

“Ohhh,” Helen coos. That must explain the ice cream. She puts her hand near to Dr Tozier’s arm, then away, then near, then away again for good. A neighbourly distance. Margaret is a lovely, lucky woman, even if she does wear flared pants. Hippie to yuppie pipeline’s alive ‘n’ flowin’, Rory always grunts whenever the Toziers come up in conversation. Helen imagines a picket fence between their bodies, and calms. “My Wendy was the same, I’m sure you remember.”

“Yes,” says Dr Tozier mildly. “You brought her in six times as I recall it, Mrs Nash.”

Mrs Nash. Honestly, like she’s his schoolteacher. It’s a little rude. Admittedly he does look quite, quite young with his faintly curling weekend-hair, if not for the new gray blazing a trail back from his temples like virgin snow. Helen is undeterred, even if something quivers inside at the thought of the word virgin in conversation with Dr Tozier. Music tinkles tinny through the ceiling speakers, and it puts Helen in mind of potted plants, or elevators. This is a lovely chat. “Well, you hate to see them suffer, don’t you? I’m sure Richard’s the same, lots of tears—”

“No, actually, Richie keeps on finding things to hit himself in the face with and knock out more teeth,” Dr Tozier interjects. He raises his eyebrows and speaks hushed, as if this is a secret for Helen’s ears alone. The thought makes her dizzy. “It’s my fault, I made the mistake of giving him a quarter for the first one. That’s why he’s not invited to Grandma’s. Lot of antiques.”

“Oh,” says Helen, taken aback. She has three girls; little boy behavior is as yet mystifying. “Well.”

“I’m joking, Helen,” Dr Tozier says cheerfully.

“Oh. I—I see. What a relief.”

He opens a freezer chest to examine a bag of frozen peas. “Maggie’s mom is deaf as white cat, she’d never notice.”

Helen tries to wipe her clammy hands on her dress without being obvious. Her face is hot, but she hopes her cardigan conceals the effect that the chill of the freezer aisle is having under her bra. She also hopes that it doesn’t.

He really does have such a slender, pleasant face, always with an air of casual, amused expectancy hanging around him. Haloing him, like that bright yellow light above the chair in his practice, blocked out when he leans over and slips his fingers inside. Helen supposes that’s what graduating medical school must do to a man, what marrying and fathering young and having one’s own practice by the end of such a turbulent decade as the nineteen-seventies must elicit. The ability to put people at ease, to—to say open wide and know the people of Derry trust him enough to comply. To open themselves. Helen’s breathing catches. Dr Tozier idly checks his sensible watch, still smiling the unhurried smile of a man who very rarely does his own grocery shopping anymore. Everyone knows you pick up the ice-cream last.

Helen gathers herself. This is the longest conversation she has entertained with Dr Tozier without children or the squeaking of latex gloves between them, and she’s gripped by the terribly silly need to be interesting. “Speaking of white cats, I couldn’t help noticing your hair, Wentworth—”

“DADDY!”

Dr Tozier blanches, whipping around to scan the end of the aisle. He is a long line of tense instinct tuned to thrum into action at one specific frequency, knuckles white on the cart handle. His cart bumps into Helen’s. It is thrilling.

“Fuck,” Dr Tozier mutters, and that’s thrilling too, he swore, oh, the boy’s probably fine Wentworth, don’t go, why don’t we just stay right here with the frozen goods and—

Then Richard comes barrelling back down the aisle like a colt on new legs covered in old Band-aids, with his arms full. The fluorescent strip-lights gleam white on Dr Tozier’s broad shoulders and he sags, like snow dropping from a branch, with relief.

“Hey, lunkhead,” he says, sounding shaky, but Richard is only five and would never know it. He’s babbling again. Seems to Helen like the boy’s as a hydrant overflowing on a hot day; entertaining and welcomed at first, until it becomes a nuisance when you begin to understand it won’t shut off, and have to call the firemen.

“Nyyeeeeeah,” Richard greets his father, tousled and bug-eyed with clear adoration, breathing hard from his Supermarket Sweep. Then he makes the carrot-noise. Looks like Bugs, Helen thinks of the boy’s new adult front teeth, the beaverish jut of them exacerbated by his missing canines on either side. Then she feels abruptly un-neighbourlike for being jealous of a child for his father’s attention, good grief.

Dr Tozier regards his son for a long moment. Then says, “What’s up, doc?” in a spot-on Mel Blanc whine. Richard giggles so hard his too-big glasses start slipping. “How many apples is that?”

“Gotta apples and I was gonna put ‘em in a bag but I forgot and Dad, Daddy look, s’a dinosaur on the box for my dinner when Mommy’s at Grandma’s—”

Dr Tozier sighs, putting one hand on his hip and dragging the other over his clean-shaven mouth, watching Richard drop his armfuls everywhere, scattering the linoleum. He has two apples, four boxes of brightly colored cereal, a handful of pencils topped with cartoon-character erasers, and a kiwi fruit. For a moment, Helen sees the shining enamel of Dr Tozier’s everything-will-work-out-with-another-cup-of-coffee amusement slip, wear away to worry underneath.

“Rich,” he says, interrupting Richard’s blabbermouth, firm and patient. Helen’s thighs burn suddenly under her skirts at the tone of his voice, and she looks down, rearranging her own groceries. She should leave them to get on. She could offer to help. Margaret’s out of town, poor things, they probably haven’t eaten a cooked meal all week!

“Richie,” Dr Tozier says again. “Listen and pay attention when Mom or me ask you to do something, remember? How many apples did I ask you to get?”

Richard has to crane his neck to meet his father’s eyes. Dr Tozier is one of the tallest fathers in the Derry Elementary catchment zone, Helen has checked. “Six!”

“And how many’ve you got, Elmer Fudd?”

“Um.” Richard’s pale little face creases in thought, then brightens. When he speaks again his voice is strange, accented. “Twooo.”

“Some apple hunter you are, huh.”

“Sorry, Daddy.”

“That’s fine.” Dr Tozier stoops to gather Richard’s detritus, and Helen knows she has something to contribute, watching the boy stick one of the pencils up his nose.

“You know, apples are very good for you,” she says. Richard turns to her, slack-jawed, as if seeing her for the first time. “You should listen to your Daddy, Richard, an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

Richard stares for another few seconds. Then he bites down on his boogery pencil so that it threads through the gaps in his teeth, and hollers, “MY FRIEND BILL SAID THAT’S A PILE OF BULLSHIT.”

“No shouting indoors, Rich,” says Dr Tozier, still gathering. Helen rocks a step backwards, clinging to her cart like a life-preserver.

“Bill and my’s friend Eddie eats a thousand apples and sees the doctor all the time though Dad, and Miss Spiegel said if we eat apples we don’t have to see the doctors but Eddie eats them and—Bill said—”

“Pile of bullshit, yeah, I liked it. Bill’s an eloquent guy,” says Dr Tozier. This is the second time Helen has ever heard him curse in as many minutes. It comes out easy and amused as everything else does in his pleasant tenor. His legs and his jaw are so lean and angular that Helen can see the suggestion, the shadow of the shape of his perfect, swearing teeth through his cheek as he grins helplessly at his son, the fruit of his loins and someone else’s loins who isn’t Helen, and all of a sudden she feels a slick pulse of wet heat, up between her thighs.

She squeaks. Flutters her hand to her face without knowing why, perhaps to catch the noise before Dr Tozier notices, just another quivering Derry leaf tossed along by his breezy manner. He looks up anyway, with a frown.

“Everything alright, Helen?”

“Just—fine, yes,” she manages. Dr Tozier is still down on one knee, kindly face level with her skirts. She can see right down under his starched collar from this angle, a slivering glimpse of smooth, dark hair. No undershirt. Helen has lain naked against Rory’s nakedness before without feeling this alive, in every part of her body. She feels like a heart, beating.

“Oh, hang on.” Dr Tozier says, eyes widening, and turns Richard by the shoulders to face her. One pencil for each nostril, now. “Apologize to Mrs Nash for cussing, Richie.”

“Sorry!” Richard shouts, sounding less like he’s apologizing and more like he’s just deemed Helen it during a game of tag.

Helen is still floating in a dazed state of mild panic. Like a prey-mouse, bewitched into slack compliance by her own body’s snaking desires. “That’s alright, dear.”

F-word, Dr Tozier had said. Maybe cussing could be quite neighbourly when applied in the right context, thinks Helen.

“You mentioned my hair, earlier,” says Dr Tozier, straightening back up with a knowing sort of arch to his eyebrow as he smiles genially at Helen. He tilts his head down at Richard. “There’s the reason. Every last one, sprinkled onto my head at the tender age of thirty-two by the great salt-and-pepper shaker of fatherhood. Especially this week, with Maggie on sabbatical. Had to bring you to work with me, didn’t I, buckaroo?”

Richard bites and swings and tugs on his father’s long arm, a tearaway kitten with a much obliging scratching post. Dr Tozier hardly seems to notice. “Yeah! Daddy’s got fishes at work!”

Dr Tozier grimaces slightly at Helen, but also as if he’s seeing right through her to some past unnamable horror. “I liked those fish. Calmed down the nervy patients.” He sighs again.

Helen wonders briefly whether or not the residents of Dr Tozier’s waiting-room fish tank suffered the same fate as that worm in the park, and decides she’d rather not know.

“Well, you needn’t worry about it,” she says, gamely. She watches her hand reach towards Dr Tozier’s silver-black brindle, then snatches it back from his bland expression to brush the tips of her own feathered-out hair. “The gray, I mean.”

Dr Tozier blinks.

“It’s very—that is to say, you look, it makes you look, I mean, I think it’s—”

Dr Tozier’s left eyebrow joins his right, raised up high.

A tidy little jet of hysteria shoots up from Helen’s knotting stomach to spin like a top in her chest. She hears herself stutter out the word, “Dashing,” and immediately wishes to flee the store, leaving her cart abandoned like so much collateral damage.

But Dr Tozier only barks a laugh, a short, smooth hah like everything else he says. Entirely unperturbed. “Well, thank you.”

Too unperturbed. Helen is struck by a sudden bolt of terror, at the thought of the things Dr Tozier must surely hear every day, when people are lulled by the hypnotically intimate environment of a dentist’s chair and a touch of the laughing gas. Oh, this is terrible. Her face is on fire.

“But they—they make products for men now,” she says, and why, oh why can’t she stop talking? “Hair dyes, I mean, if it really does bother you? I’ve seen them in Keene’s.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” says Dr Tozier, looking down at Richard then with a soft edge, at his bouncing noise and scabbed knees and gently curling hair like a black spaniel’s. Like his father’s. “I find I’m rather grateful for it, truth be told.”

“Plus,” he continues, as if Helen wasn’t already melting harder than the Tozier’s ice-cream, as if Johnny Kitchener the shop-boy isn’t going to have to come along with a mop and bucket to clean up on aisle seven, “Maggie’d kill me if I got rid of it.”

Then Dr Tozier winks.

Oh Lord, oh Lord, Helen’s whole ribcage is so tight she can’t squeeze out a reply, because who could blame dear, pretty, annoyingly friendly, lucky, lucky, lucky Margaret for that when Dr Wentworth Tozier DMD is so—

So f—

So fffffff—

So fiddlesticksing handsome!

“Well, we’d best not keep you, Helen. This one is in dire need of a bath before his mother sees him, and hands me a divorce on the spot,” Dr Tozier says, when another few moments have passed and all Helen can do is try to desperately smooth the creases from her breathing. He’s humming mild interest at something Richard is saying, knelt back down to the linoleum to tie the boy’s loose-worm laces presumably before he gives himself any more skinned knees, and they’re leaving. Dr Tozier is leaving, and Helen hasn’t done anything but act like a ninny this entire time. She doesn’t want him to think her a ninny, a simpleton. She wants him to leave this bright, liminal church of bold colors and jazzy waiting-room music and return to his lemon-yellow two-storey house thinking my, what a lovely chat I had with Helen Nash.

She wants to linger, as he lingers. Like an amiable spirit hanging over the women’s group at church, waiting to be summoned at a moment’s eager notice. I bumped into Dr Tozier at Palmer’s on Saturday, she’ll say to the other jealous ladies, with triumph, and we had such a nice talk. He called me Helen.

“And when—when does Margaret get home?” she blurts. A very secret part of Helen wants Dr Tozier to leave this conversation with Helen and his wife both, entwined by association in his mind. She tries very hard not to think about the Toziers divorcing, because that is un-neighbourly, and feels least neighbourly of all when a dopey, dreamy look crosses Dr Tozier’s face like a brief sunbeam at her question.

“Ah. Tonight. Not too late, hopefully.” He jerks one of his knuckley thumbs at his shopping cart, licking the other to wipe something unidentifiable from Richard’s grubby face. “That’s why we’re here, stocking up for her miraculous return. Like a couple of noble emperor penguins in Antarctica, eh Rich?”

“Penguins like from Batman! Ka-pow.”

Helen takes a peek into their cart, curiosity getting the better of her now that permission is granted. Dr Tozier might not know it, but looking into another person’s cart is bad grocery etiquette, especially in a town like Derry, where gossip grows like a fungus in every sweaty and close little huddle of people. Not that Helen would know about that. Anyway, there isn’t much to gossip about besides the unfortunately liquefied ice-cream, the severe lack of crunchy vegetables characteristic of a young man in 1981 trying to provide for a tooth-shedding son, and—

A little cardboard box. Tossed unashamedly between the Wonderbread and a magazine about sports. Prophylactics. Rubbers.

36-pack. XL

Helen knows her jaw is hanging open and strains to close it, the back of her neck and her shoulders feeling hot and tight and shuddery. She kneads a fist into her skirts. Crosses her legs at the ankles as demurely as she knows how, because the very last thing she needs is for frank, sensible Dr Tozier to see right through her with that easy doctor-patient-confidentiality smile, and know she’s soaking through her underwear at the sight of his Saturday grocery run, and all it implies.

Dr Tozier is laughing, nudging Richard in the direction of the register, or perhaps the apples. “Ka-pow is right. I’ll make sure to use that on Mom, thanks. Say hello to Rory for us, Helen. Have a nice day,” he says from over his shoulder, startling her. Holds up one long hand in a wave with a grin, and is gone, shadowing the boy’s haphazard attempts to push the cart despite not being able to see where he’s going.

Helen stands amongst the humming freezers, trembling. “You too,” she rasps, but Dr Tozier has rounded the corner, and is evidently going to have a nice day and a much nicer night, regardless of whether Helen wishes it for him or not.

All the bright little branded characters are watching her from their shelves, a silent jury. Helen Nash opens a freezer cabinet with a weak arm, and stands there for a while, staring at a leg of ham and thinking cooling, neighbourly thoughts.

#long post #idk how to do readmores on mobile soz not soz #wentworth tozier #richie tozier #poor sexually unsatisfied helen nash #sometimes you just have to write the DILF went tozier fic you want to see in the world #stephen king: he was a pleasant looking man with a rather thin face #me cracking my knuckles: a l r i g h t #but what if... big dick richie was hereditary... what then 😳🤔👀🤔👀😳😳👀#ficlet

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santaclausdeadindian · 4 years

Text

Sorry for doing it this way, I think OP deleted their post or blocked me like a mature, balanced person would, so I have to tag you in

@mr-laugh

Oh boy, lot to unpack here.

So you didn’t even know there were that many subgenres of fantasy, one of the most popular classifications of fiction on the planet... And you think you know enough to tell ANYBODY what classic fantasy is?

And where exactly I attempted to do that, huh?

If you don’t even know the most common subgenres of this vast pool of fiction, why are you jumping into this discussion? You just admitted you don’t know anything!

There is no discussion, there is a stupid ass post. Don't flatter yourself, you don't know jack shit.

Me not knowing what exactly are the precize subgenres of a genre of literature, which, btw, are completely arbitrary and for your information, sword&magic is a legitimate category, has absolutely nothing to do with what that post you were so keen on agreeing with above. It was you who said pretty much any classic fantasy is like that: some poorly written, self-indulgent and borderline racist.

Did ya read the link, buddy? Howard talked about knowing what burning black man smelled like. He was quite approving of these things! And the books are pretty racist, it’s not hard to see, unless you ain’t looking.

Yes, I started reading and by the end of the first paragraph I was convinced he was ahorribly racist man. And? Still doesn't change the fact, that for my 12 year old self, there was nothing racist about it. I definetly wasn't looking for it, that much you got right. If I'd read it again, I'm sure I'd catch on to it now, that I know what kind of asshole he was. So the implied racism would be there. You got a point for that.

Rugged individualism? It always amuses me how that argument always pops out of the mouths of guys who are aping what they’ve heard their buddies say. If ten thousand mouths shout “rugged individualism”, how individualistic are they?

Then you should amuse yourself by looking up why this thing crops up as of late. It's coming from certain, supremely racist yet unaware of it publications that claim ridiculous shit like "rugged individualism" is a hallmark of white supremacy, among other, equally laughable things, like punctuality. It's a joke.

Again, I will give Howard to you, if someone that racist writes a black man saving the hero of the story, I bet there was something else still there to make it wrong.

Conan’s not some avatar of rugged individualism.

Uhm, yeah, he pretty much all that.

He’s as unreal and unrealistic as the dragons are,

It's called fantasy for a reason, buddy.

but more dangerous because White Men model their ideas of reality on Big Man Heroes like him;

Glad you are totally not racist, yo!!! It's such a relief that White Men are the only ones with this terrible behavior of looking up to larger than life, mythic superpeople and nobody else. Imagine what it would be like, if we would have some asshole from say, hindu indian literature massacering demons called Rakshassas, by the tens of thousands, or some bullshit japanese warlord would snatch out arrows from the air, or a chienese bodyguard would mow down hundreds of barbaric huns without dropping a sweat, or some middle eastern hero would fight literal gods and their magical beasts in some quest for eternal life.

it's a poison that weakens us, distracting us from actually trying to solve the world’s issues, or banding together to deal with shit.

This is what you just said. It's up to the white man, to get their shit together, be not racist and solve the world's problems, because those poor other people's just can't do it. If we would just not be oh, so racist, then China would surely stop with the genocides they are doing now, or blowing more than half the greenhouse emissions into the athmosphere, the muslims would stop throwing their gays from rooftops or ramming trucks into crowds and would just start treating women as equals, India's massive rape problem would be gone, subsaharan African would be magically bereft of the host of atrocities committed there on a daily, yeah, you sure have that nonracism down, buddy!

A rugged individualist would be smart enough to realize that even the most individualistic person needs others; no man’s an island, and a loner is easier to kill.

Individualism doesn't mean at all what you think it means, it's a cluster of widely differeing philosophies that puts the individual ahead of the group or state, it's ranging from anarchism to liberalism and is also has nothing to do with my point.

Central Europe? What, Germany? Because let me tell you, historically they are SUPER concerned about race!

Germany traditionally considered western european, central europe would be the people stuck between them and the russians, to put it very loosely. We are equally nonplussed by the self-flagellating white guilt complex and the woe me victim complex of the west. We did none of the shit those meanie white people did to the nonwhites and suffered everyting any poc ever did and then some. We don't give a shit about your color, we care about what culture you are from and if you respect our values.

I’m an American from a former Confederate state; trust me, race is everything. It always is.

No it really isn't. How old are you? Asking without condescension, genuinly curious, because if you are in your low twenties at most, it's understandable why you think like this.

See that hike? Do you know what happened at that time that made virtually all american media suddenly go all in with racism?

Occupy Wall Street, that's what. It's a brilliant way to sow victimhood and hate and desperation amongst the people who have one common enemy, the powers that be, the banking sector, the politicians, the megacorporations.

Can't really blame you if you are in your early 20's at most, you grew up with this bullshit hammered into you. If you are older, step out of your echochamber please!

If you actually believe, that mankind doesn't progress naturally towards a more accepting society purely on the merit of there being more good people than bad and sharing a similar living with all the hardships in life, seeing that our prejudices inherited by our parents are baseless, that's how we progress, not virtue signalling courses and regressive policies. I was raised as any other kid, I had a deep resentment towards the neighbouring nations, I said vile, racist shit against people who I actually share a lot of genes with, of which fact I was in deep denial about, and then as I gradually got exposed more and more actual people of these groups, I started to realize I was wrong and everybody should be judged by their individual merits. It works throughout the generations, my grandma was thought songs about Hitler and how all jews are evil in school, she legit thought all black people at least in Africa are cannibals and shit, my mother stillsays shit that would get her cancelled in the USA, and I will probably have a mixed race kid as we stand now.

This whole racism is an eternal problem is laughable and disingenuous and I am actually sorry for you that you feel like that.

Moving on. As for Dany, the “noble white girl sold to scary dark foreign man” is a very popular trope, especially in exploitation films, which Martin draws on much more heavily than most authors do.

No, he fucking doesn't. I already wrote a bunch of examples from the books you seeminly ignore willfully. First of all, she is sold to those olive skinned savages by a white man, who is a terrible, increadibly evil man. He want's to fuck the then 11-12 ish Dany so bad, she picks his slave most resembling her and rapes her repeatedly, "until the madness pass." He also maimes children and traines them as disposable slave spies by the hundreds. There is no boundaries colour here, GRRM prtrays all kinds of people as reprehensible, evil and disgusting. Just like you can find plenty of examples to the opposite.

What is he drawing from your exploitation movies exactly? He writes about the human anture, he writes about the human heart at war with itself, that's his central philosophy of writing.

ASOFAI is basically just a porn movie with complicated feudal politics obscuring it, which is probably why it worked so well as an HBO series (up until the last two seasons or so.)

There is no gratuitous sex scene in the books, the rapes are described as rapes, they are horrible, they are very shortly described and usually just alluded to.

The people commiting them are not put into generous lights and one of the single most harrowing stories hidden behind the grand happenings of the plot is a girl named Jeyne Poole, whose suffering although never shown, is very much pointed out, along with the hypocrisy of the people who only fight to try and save her, because they think her a different person.

Honestly, if you actually read the books and they came of to you as porn, you might want to do some soulsearching.Btw, the HBO series was a terrible adaptation, it immedietly started to go further and further from the books with every passing season and the showmakers made it very clear to everybody, that they didn't understand the very much pacifist and humanist themes of Martin. And neither did you.

We also get no indication Essos will eat it when Winter comes; hell, they seem to not know Winter exists, given the way people act, even though that is also unrealistic and weird. Essos was just super badly designed, and Dany is a terribly boring character.

to be continued

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glowyjellyfish · 4 years

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For some reason, despite not having watched the show in roughly seven years according to when I last wrote thoughts about it, I decided last week to start listening to a podcast about Buffy the Vampire Slayer because October. The podcast turned out to be amazing, and despite being thoroughly disillusioned with Joss and worried that would change how I see the show too much, I started watching along with the podcast. Well, really I’m playing catch-up. I just started the Reptile Boy podcast episode, and I just finished The Pack in actually watching. My perception has changed, but mostly in a more mature/woke direction, I’m seeing more problematic stuff and wanting to deconstruct it, but it’s not hampering my love of the characters. I am trying to use death of the author to try to deconstruct and watsonianly explain things, but sometimes it’s better to just go “the writers fucked up” or “yup, that’s a weird and creepy Joss fetish” and let the characters off the hook and be a Doylist.

Here are the thoughts I’ve had so far, which as you can see cheerfully spanned the entire range of the show, because season one doesn’t give me personally a lot to work with.

-Xander is borderline Nice Guy in season one, and I don’t like it. I am enjoying deconstructing him and figuring him out more than I ever did before, though, despite an uneasy feeling that doylistically it started from Joss’ idea of how a average dorky teenage boy would act when surrounded by awesome girls and then reasons for it were added later. It’s really genuinely interesting that Xander’s the heart of the team and has all the feelings about everybody and wears his heart on his sleeve, crushing a lot because of that leaving him vulnerable in addition to hormones, and that growing up in an abusive and neglectful household led to insecurity and overcompensation and poor coping skills. And it’s a really fascinating idea that he despises vampires because he lost one of his best friends to them, and can’t handle the idea of any being capable of redemption or good behavior because he semi-accidentally staked Jesse while trying that concept out and if they can be redeemable then he can’t forgive himself, but of course the show didn’t want to talk about Jesse and preferred to heavily imply if not outright say that Xander’s feelings about vampires were mostly about jealousy over Buffy, which is the most Nice Guy angle they could have possibly chosen. (I... can’t say I totally mind, as Jesse’s behavior was objectively worse than s1 Xander, but still I think it would have been better to not ignore his impact on Xander.) I’m glad Xander more or less gets over his crush after season one and doesn’t wade any further into Nice Guy territory, if I recall correctly, and I’m not claiming it’s unreasonable for him to have had it in the first place, it’s just so much of his behavior regarding it is so uncomfortable, and it could have been handled loads better.

-weirdly, The Pack is the first episode of season one that I found I still thoroughly liked. I did enjoy the show deconstructing/dealing with some of the Xander problems by cranking them up to eleven, and part of it is that I am a sucker for werewolf and werewolf-like stories, and also a sucker for supernatural things happening to the Normal Harmless People in media, but I honestly think a big part of it is how little the episode uses terrible s1 special effects to play the story out. It’s all in the acting, and there was some really convincing and good acting going on.

-I discovered that the last time I watched seven years ago, I concluded that despite his general attitude, Angel genuinely likes being around fun and lighthearted people. I want to bask in that concept for a moment before I turn it around to an earlier point, and say that if Xander wasn’t constantly openly hostile to Angel, they could very well be bros, and I am bummed the show never tried. I mean, jealousy or not, Xander’s vampire issues should still be a problem. But I like the idea of Angel just silently enjoying Xander’s dumb jokes and his naivety, and logically Angel would also super appreciate Xander being adamant about killing him when he’s gone evil. In fact, even if they never became bro’s in canon, I’m going to declare it headcanon that Angel quite liked Xander as a person, and just did not take kindly to constant jabs at his nature. Although, honestly, Angel probably would be a little jealous of Xander regardless for being the most emphatically human person around, (especially considering what a disaster Angel was when he was Liam? He wouldn’t see Xander and think “what a foolish child”, he’d think “is this what I could have been if I was alive now? if I had a couple good people in my life to protect me and help me grow into a better person?”), and wouldn’t really enjoy Xander constantly reminding him that Xander is human and Angel is not. So here’s the revised headcanon: Angel likes Xander as a person, and would quietly consider him a friend if Xander wasn’t openly hostile to him. Angel does not super enjoy spending time with Xander since it means constant needling and reminders that Xander has what Angel never got, but he does appreciate that Xander never lets his guard down and by extension reminds Angel not to let his guard down, either. I will have to see if that holds up as I rewatch; I am still mired in season 1 and I haven’t gotten up to them even sharing a scene yet.

-I have been thinking a little about the escalation of Willow’s heartbrokenness over the course of the series, and… I know there’s a good topic there but it just makes me sad to think about.

-on willow: I think she’s bi and the show/joss is just bi-phobic. Watsonianly, she just never had a full education in the nuances of sexual orientation, and emphasized her gayness to reassure Tara and to embrace a label to define herself. However, while I think she’s bi, I would describe her as having more attraction to women than men, and might even argue that all her attraction to men is demisexual—Xander’s obvious, and Oz did all the pursuing and showed all the interest early on. I think Willow was excited to be desired and to achieve the milestone of not only “boyfriend” but “cool boyfriend in a band” that helped distance herself from nerdiness, and it took a little while for that to build up to attraction and love. Not super long, but long enough for her to doubt her attraction when thinking about it in hindsight.

-speaking of Oz I have so many Oz thoughts. Oz, I love you, but where did you get the idea that you need to solve all your problems yourself and not talk to anybody about it? Stoicism is cool and all but use your words, Oz. You would solve so many of your problems if you learned how to communicate! WHO TAUGHT YOU TO BEHAVE THIS WAY. I haven’t gotten up to him yet but my fandom brain’s already there, he’s my favorite and I can’t wait to try applying this perception to him in action.

-I would love to peek into the alternate universe where Oz didn’t leave. Hell, I want to know what would have happened both if everything else was basically the same but Oz was still around as a main character (say, he wanted some distance to work on control but didn’t leave town; Willow was very upset about it but perhaps not to the same degree, and still met Tara while looking for a way to train/practice magic and developed feelings for her; New Moon Rising happened similarly but Oz doesn’t leave town at the end; alternately he did leave but just for the first stretch of episodes and he stays after NMR), and also in the different scenario where because Oz isn’t leaving, Xander is picked to be The Gay One. I mean, he’d have to be bi, too, and my mind honestly boggles at the hurdles the show might have had to leap to make it plausible, but I would like to see it. What kind of boyfriend would the show have given Xander, and why am I thinking of Schitt’s Creek when I wonder what a gay romance for Xander would look like?

...but I’m reeeeally getting ahead of myself now. I did not expect to have so many of my thoughts be about a. the dudes and b. Xander, but what can you do? Soon I’ll have material to talk about, for example, how amazing Cordelia is, but for now...

(and yes, I have been pinging from one fandom to the next in order to find The Right One, and doing one or two thought-dumps before I find myself moving on to a different one without finishing the first. I do not control the hyperfixation. I might go back and forth when the newest one loses its shine, but I am really enjoying the concept of revisiting Buffy for October, and might proceed to do the same with Teen Wolf when I’m done if only for a fascinated comparison between the two and what inspired what and what was improved upon or done worse. Might. Hyperfixation, remember.)

#buffy the vampire slayer #btvs

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ladyreapermc · 5 years

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Fic: This isn’t a rom-com (1/?)

Author’s notes: So this was basically the first thing I started writing when I got back to Keanu fandom after Parabellum, but it remained sitting on my files because it still felt weird to write and share rpf. But after so many rewrites, I think I’m finally ready to do it. I’ll be posting new chapters every Monday and I’d love some feedback. The entire thing is set in 2013.

Wordcount: 2174

Warnings: none for this part

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

As Lilah stood outside the address given to her, she took a deep breath and asked herself for the third time what was she thinking when she let Isaac talk her into doing this. She had so much to do.

Sure, she had the morning off since her advisor was out of town for a conference, but Lilah still could have been prepping her Monday class or even reviewing her paper.

But Isaac knew her too well. He argued that it had been ages since she had taken a day to herself and as soon as the words movie set came out of his mouth, she dropped everything else and came running. The prospect of since the cinema magic working up close was too good to pass up.

So, she waited outside the set, waiting until Isaac finally showed up, dark curls sticking to his reddish face, probably from jogging through the building. He flashed the security staff a quick bright smile, before ushering Lilah inside, guiding the way through a maze of corridors, walking so fast Lilah barely had the time to take a proper look at everything.

“Thanks so much for doing this, Lih! You’re a lifesaver,” he commented over his shoulder. “One of our extras just didn’t show up today and we’re behind schedule already.”

“It’s fine,” she said as they stopped by a table where an agitated looking brunette sat with a clipboard and walkie-talkie. She checked Lilah’s ID, before collecting her contact information and telling Isaac to take her to the wardrobe department to change.

Before Lilah could even finish shoving her ID back in her pocket, Isaac was whisking her away.

“So, what kind of movie is this?” Lilah asked as she exchanged her street clothes for the costume, a beautiful red dress, and some killer heels. “It’s not a rom-com, is it? Izzy, I’ll kill you if you’re making me play extra in a rom-com.”

“It’s an action flick, relax,” he replied, and Lilah could actually hear the eye-roll in his tone. “I will never understand your hatred for rom-coms.”

“What’s to like about them?” she asked stepping out of the dressing room. “They sell women unrealistic, almost pathological expectations for love and romance, also…”

“Lih, this isn’t your dissertation. You don’t have to always take it so seriously.” Isaac said cutting her off as he led her to the hair and makeup chair.

“I mean, one can appreciate all the clichés without really thinking it’s gonna happen to them. I mean, how many couples do you know that started as two unlikely people that are perfect for each other having that first meet-cute then moving on to silently pinning over each other. Then having the classic love triangle that might lead to the epic conflict and break up so they can have a heartfelt reunion later, with the grand romantic gesture, the speech and finally their happy ending…”

And even though Isaac’s words pointed out the improbability of it, his dreamy tone told Lilah he still hoped it could happen to him someday.

Lilah rolled her eyes fondly because he was such a hopeless romantic.

She, on the other hand, prided herself on being pragmatic. She believed in love, of course. She wasn’t that jaded at twenty-nine; but to Lilah, love wasn’t something that just happened. You didn’t just stumble on the love of your life by accident someday.

“You look smoking, honey!” Isaac declared, snapping Lilah out of her thoughts. “Come on! Chad and David are already on set and ready to shoot.”

Lilah only had time to grab her bag before he was leading her once again through the maze of corridors to and ample room that looked a lot like a speakeasy, from the jazz band on the stage, to the smoky air, dim lighting and leather booths.

“Now all you have to do is sit still and look pretty.” He flashed her a teasing smile and ignored her eye-roll. “I’ll check on you during lunch break.”

Lilah waved her goodbye and watched as he moved to a pair of men standing by some monitors talking. They exchanged a few words, before Isaac disappeared again, probably off to run another task.

They filmed for around two hours straight. Lilah couldn’t see much of was going on because her table was facing the band and away from the area the camera seemed to be focused on and she couldn’t exactly turn to see, even if she really wanted to, but she managed to sneak a couple of glances whenever they called cut.

“Ok everybody, let’s take 15,” one of the directors announced.

Lilah stood up, stretching her back to work out the kinks of being sitting still for too long in an uncomfortable chair.

She took a few moments to search for Isaac, but he was nowhere around the main room and Lilah didn’t want to risk getting lost in the building. Instead, she picked a water bottle and a protein bar from craft service and looked for a quiet place to wait for filming to resume.

Lilah found a hidden corner in of the set, out of the way from most of the staff and quiet enough that she could pull out her book. She settled on one of the free chairs to read a little. Soon, she was absorbed by the text, shutting off everything else until a passage caught her attention, and Lilah couldn’t help but snort at it and offer a counterargument under her breath.

“Are you pro or against dualism?” Someone asked from just outside her line of vision, probably catching the cover of her book when Lilah held it closed while digging for a pen in her bag.

“Against obviously,” Lilah replied with a small snort as she looked up, her eyes going wide at the sight before her. Shock making her drop her pen and book, which he picked up.

“Really?” He asked with a curious frown. “Why?”

Lilah as she stared at him, she couldn’t get her throat to work.

He was so much taller than he looked on the screen, with broad shoulders and a strong chest. His dark hair was slicked back with gel, the tips touching his nape. He was spotting a well-trimmed beard, some fake bruises, and a black three-piece suit. Lilah didn’t think anyone could be this handsome, but she was obviously wrong.

“Where are my manners…” he said offering a hand. “Hi. I'm Keanu.”

The gestured kickstarted Lilah’s brain again and she shook his hand with a quick, embarrassed laugh.

“I’m sorry! Hi. Lilah,” she rushed to say. “I’m Lilah.”

“Nice to meet you, Lilah,” he said with a warm smile.

“So, you don’t believe in the mind…” he commented, handing her pen and book back and Lilah did her best to smooth the wrinkled edge.

“As an immaterial entity that exists apart from our bodies like Descartes proposed? Not really. I mean, let’s face it, he just gave it a pseudo-scientific look to the idea of a soul.”

Lilah looked up from her book, catching the way he was watching her with a smile.

“Sorry,” she huffed a breath with an embarrassed smile. Was she really babbling about dualism to Keanu Reeves?

“No, no,” he assured, taking a seat next to her. “Go ahead.”

“Uh… well,” she hesitated, glancing at him again. “I mean, it’s been what? A couple of thousand years? Probably more, but we still can figure out what the mind is.”

“I always thought of it as what makes us human. Theoretically, of course.”

“Ok but wouldn’t that be more like what it does than what it is?” she pointed out. “But let’s run with it, anyway. How does a mind make us human?”

“Well, for one, isn’t it supposed to give us a conscience, intelligence, all that…” Keanu trailed off with a hand gesture and Lilah smiled.

“But those brain functions. Are we saying the mind is the brain?” she couldn’t contain the way her smile widening even more. This was fun.

She loved talking philosophy, but Lilah rarely had the chance of doing it outside a classroom. And here she was actually talking dualism with fucking Neo!

“If it was the same thing, why would we need two concepts?” he inquired, brow furrowing in a small thoughtful frown.

“You just made my point for me,” Lilah said, and Keanu chuckled. “And it can’t be part of the brain either, because theories seem to agree that the mind isn’t material and our brains are very material.”

“Maybe there’s another dimension out there,” he offered with a shrug, leaning forward on his elbows which brought him closer to Lilah.

She bit her bottom lip to suppress the urge of making a Matrix joke.

“Ok, but then how is something that is immaterial influences our very material selves?”

Lilah watched as Keanu paused, considering her argument, that thoughtful frown returning, and Lilah took that time to admire him. If her teen self could see her now, she would probably have a heart attack. Keanu had been her movie crush for as far as she could remember, ever since she watched the Matrix for the first time.

And here he was, in the flesh, just talking to her. It was almost surreal. Was this a dream? Was she going to awake any minute in her bed?

“Alright, you got me,” he said with a smile, catching her attention. “I have no idea, but don’t you think there should be something there? Shouldn’t a man be more than just atoms and chemicals? Something more transcendental?”

“What? You’re a Kant man?”

The words were out of her mouth before she could contain herself. Her tongue slipping on the pronunciation, making it sound like a completely different thing and Keanu busted out laughing, turning bright red.

It took a second for Lilah to realize how it sounded, but when she did, she covered her face with her hands, mortified.

“Oh my God! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean…”

“It’s ok,” he assured, still chuckling. “It’s fine. Really. I am not a Kantian, no but I can see the value in his transcendental man theory.”

Lilah tried to make her mouth work, to say something else but all she managed was an embarrassed chuckle. She could feel her cheeks burning.

“I’m so, so sorry…” she managed, voice coming out muffled. “I just…”

“Sometimes you forget to double-check what are you saying before putting it out there?” He asked with a soft smile and she nodded. “I do that all the time. Don’t worry.”

“Is there a way to fix that?” she asked, finally lowering her hands.

“I’ll let you know when I find it,” he replied with a little smile, before he ducked his head, letting out a small chuckle.

For a moment they just sat there, still chuckling together, cheeks red and awkwardly avoiding each other’s gaze, until someone cleared their throat behind them and making both turn around to look.

Isaac stood there with his hand pressed to the earpiece he wore and a clipboard in hand. Lilah could see he was barely containing his smirk as he looked between her and Keanu and she winced, wondering how much he had heard.

“Sorry to interrupt. Keanu, Chad needs you.”

“Thank you,” Keanu said getting up and turning to look at Lilah. “It was very nice to meet you, Lilah.”

“You too,” she replied with a small smile, watching as he walked away before turning to look at Isaac with wide eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me you worked with Keanu Reeves?”

“I don’t work with him, I work around him,” Isaac pointed out with a frown. “Also, that was the nerdiest flirting I’ve ever seen.”

“What are you talking about? I wasn’t flirting.”

“Yeah, right!” Isaac snorted in disbelief. “Come on. Break’s over.”

Lilah followed Isaac back to the main area of the set and the same table from before. This time, she caught a glimpse of Keanu chatting with one of the directors. She thought his lips quirked into a smile when he saw her, but she was probably just imagining as she sat down again.

“Shit! I should have asked for an autograph. Or is that too weird?” Lilah asked Isaac.

She was doing so well, but that Kant thing threw her off and she went right back to that strange awkwardness she usually had around people she found attractive. Lilah really thought she had outgrown that.

“It’s not weird. Extras ask for autographs all the time,” Isaac said with a shrug. “And maybe while you at it, you can ask him out.”

“Haha.” Lilah rolled her eyes at the way Isaac wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Isaac, no! It’s Keanu Reeves. Are you nuts?”

“Fine,” he replied with a huff, but the glint of amusement in his eyes didn’t fade. “But you do know what that felt like right?”

Lilah frowned in confusion and he flashed her an excited grin.

“It felt straight out of a rom-com.”

tbc

Go to part 2

Taglist (give me a shout if you want to added.)

@poisonedjoinery @ringa-starr @curly-minnie @i-cant-remember-my-old-login

@caryled @beyond-antares @kathorax @krazycags01 @meetmeinthematinee

@red-pill-blue-pill @baphometwolf666

#keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves x ofc #fanfic #this isn't a rom-com #series #original character

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negasonicimagines · 5 years

Text

Do You Want To

requests: “Can I request one where reader is DP's daughter and their personalities are very similar. He recently said she has to start going to Xavier's because of her ability to create portals, but doesn't want to attend. Ellie is asked to be her guide and help her get situated. After seeing ellie she does some classic Wilson flirting. ‘Dad, I want her to sit on my face.’” + “Okay okay so Ellie imagine where reader Ellie and a bunch of other Xavier's students are at a party (reader and Ellie are not dating here) and have to play never have I ever and reader says that she's never gotten a hickey and then later Ellie catches up with her and asks if she wants her to give her one? And it leads to like a HEAVY makeout”

notes: F/B: Favorite Band. Jubilee appears as she does in the movies, and the others appear as they do in X-Men Evolution. Also, this fic makes some assumptions about you! If they don’t fit, okay, but please suspend your disbelief.I also did some experimenting with style, I’ve read a lot of @starman-thorsus-canos-jock‘s fics lately and I love the style so I tried to let it influence me!!

warnings: underage drinking, borderline smut but dubious consent considering you’re both the same level of drunk! Sober, clear consent is important, even if the characters in this story don’t have a negative experience.

Open house at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters is always an interesting experience for Ellie. An increasing number of fresh faces every year, finding out what idiots (and tolerable people) she’ll be sharing classes with, and, the most unsettling of all: if she’ll be having a roommate.

But one face - or, rather, mask - that she notices isn’t fresh. It’s annoyingly rotten.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Deadpool? Perving on teenage girls, seriously?” She asks, gesturing to you. “I expected at least better than that.”

“Well, I’m no Ivanka, so I guess I’ll be heading back to my old schoo-”

Ellie gawks while he grabs the collar of your F/B tee shirt, pulling you back to your seat. You’re so… So...

“So, you… You have a daughter..?” Who looks like… Like she does?

“I didn’t always look like a moldy avocado, you know!” He protests. Your lip curls into what’s best described as a sweet smirk. “She makes portals and hates her mom’s new husband. I’m sure you two will get on real well.”

“Yeah,” you agree, eyeing the girl. “Y/N.”

“Ellie,” Ellie introduces herself, feeling her face heat up a little bit with the way you’re looking at her, unashamed of your interest. “Well, I’ve got to go get my schedule…”

“Go with her,” Wade tells you, and you fix him with a skeptical glare. “Please,” he adds. “Such a stickler for manners.”

“I don’t let men order me around,” you correct, and Ellie’s knees are weak.

“I’m very proud,” Wade half-jokes. “Go on, I’ll be here when you get back. I promise not to flirt with any of your teachers.”

“Thank you,” you respond with a bitter chuckle. The cheap shot at your mother that he probably didn’t mean much by was a nice touch. You follow Ellie to a slowly-shrinking crowd, and wait with her. You observe her, and she fidgets under your gaze. No one’s really showed this kind of interest in her before, especially so unabashed.

“Are you… Are you going to say anything, or are you just gonna keep staring at me?” She finally works up the nerve to ask.

“I told you my name, and that I don’t let men order me around. What more do you really need to know?”

Ellie never understood how your dad’s flirting ever worked on women when seeing it in practice on Piotr and Logan, but you seem to pull off the shameless, blunt interest like how she already wouldn’t mind you pulling off-

“Miss Phimister, good to see you’re already acquainted with your roommate this year. Miss Wilson, it’s a pleasure to see you again. Here are your schedules,” Charles Xavier himself says, handing you both your schedules. “You wouldn’t mind helping your new friend get settled in, would you, Eleanor?”

Ellie agrees to help you, and the two of you walk away. It’s not the awful flirting, Ellie realizes, but the hotness of the person saying the words: you.

“Roommates, huh? Whoever made out schedules must be a fucking psychic. A literal fucking psychic,” you flirt as the two of you walk away, and she can barely handle keeping a neutral expression, much less the scowl she normally wears. “Trying to be aloof will only make me want you more… In case you can’t tell, I have daddy issues. And mommy issues. I’m the full package, and willing to wear whatever kind of package you want.”

“Is that so?” Ellie tests the waters, and you blink at her for a few moments.

“Uh… Yeah,” you decide to answer, and she snickers.

“Not as smooth as you’d like to think, huh?”

“I’m just surprised you spoke, Negasonic Teenage Perks of Being a Wallflower,” you retort.

“Nice one, did your dad come up with it?”

“You’ve got bite! That’s good, now if you wouldn’t mind biting my neck..?”

“I-”

“Hey! Hey! New girl!” Ellie recognizes the sound of the boy a year younger than her zooming towards you both before she recognizes his voice. Pietro. “Party tonight, bring a friend, don’t, whatever, it’s in the woods, you’ll know it when you see it!”

He zooms off just as quickly, and you raise a brow.

“Is it actually a party, or his he just skeevy?” you ask.

“It is.”

“Hm, it would be a good idea to make some friends I don’t find irresistible,” you say it like it’s absentmindedly thinking out loud, tapping your lip, but she catches your eyes cutting up to her, looking for a reaction. “But… If I don’t know anyone, how fun would that be?”

“I’ll go with you,” Ellie’s mouth decides for her, but, thankfully, it doesn’t come out too quickly. “I know where it is, they have a huge bonfire in the clearing near the watering hole to celebrate everyone returning to school.”

“I see… Well, it does sound fun. Will there be alcohol?”

“Yeah, it su-”

“Oh, then we’re definitely going,” you decide, and Ellie both dreads and looks forward to later tonight.

After a short trek in the woods, Ellie and you find yourselves at the party.

“Ellie! Good to see you!” Bobby calls out, recognizing her from GSA. “You and the new girl should come over and play Never Have I Ever with us!”

“That sounds great!” you answer for her, heading over. Ellie follows you, because you’re the only reason she’s here, and the two of you sit on a log with Kitty, Anna, and Jubilee, with Bobby standing. At least they’re people she doesn’t hate.

He goes over the rules, and the six of you get started.

“Never have I ever… Kissed a girl,” Bobby says. You, Kitty, and Anna each take a shot, each lowering a finger. “Now you, Jubilee.”

“Never have I ever… Cheated on a test.”

Ellie takes a shot, cringing at the taste and lowering a finger. Based on the not-circle circle that you all are in, Kitty goes next, then Anna, then you, then Ellie, and so on.

“Never have I ever… Received a hickey,” Kitty says. Bobby is the only one to take a shot, and Ellie looks to you with surprise.

“Never have I ever… Fallen in love at first sight,” Anna discloses. You take a shot, winking at Ellie, who is either flushed due to alcohol - it’d honestly be adorable if she was a lightweight, you think - or what you basically just declared to everyone.

“Never have I ever… Tried to cut my own hair,” you decide, and everyone but you takes a shot and lowers a finger. You knew Ellie probably had, but the others surprised you.

“Never have I ever…” Ellie finds herself drawing out the r, having realized this is a good tool to get to know you without dropping her aloof facade. “Played strip poker.”

You and Anna each take a shot. So far, the score is as follows: Bobby - 9, Jubilee - 9, Kitty - 8, Anna - 7, You - 7, and Ellie - 8. You’re starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, though so far it’s really just a giggly lightness and slightly-lowered inhibitions, not that you had many of those in the first place. You can feel yourself on the way to becoming a little more drunk, though.

“Never have I ever,” Bobby begins the next round. “Been to a strip club.”

You take a shot, and your not-circle circle of maybe-friends gasps.

“Y/N’s dad’s wife works at one,” Ellie clarifies for you with a roll of the eyes.

“Why can’t you just let them think that I’m cool?” you whine, leaning on her just a little bit. She scoffs, pretending she doesn’t enjoy the attention from you.

“Never have I ever… Cursed in front of my academic adviser,” Jubilee says. Both Anna and Ellie take a shot.

“Never have I ever…” Kitty starts, and it’s clear she’s not sure what to say. She hums, looking over the group before her eyes land on you and Ellie. She delivers you an almost imperceptible wink. “Got in a fight with someone because I didn’t like them. Not self-defense or helping someone else or X-Men stuff, just straight-up not liking them.”

You and Ellie both drink to that.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you people are trying to get me drunk,” you giggle, definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol after five out of your ten allotted shots.

“I’m there with you,” Anna replies, snickering as well. “Never have I ever-“ she giggles. “Had sex.”

No one takes a shot, all looking at each other - well, Ellie’s just looking at you, kind of but not entirely surprised - before you decide on your declaration.

“Never have I ever…” You giggle some more, a long one that you can’t stifle no matter how much your lungs beg. You look to Ellie for inspiration. “Shaved my head!”

Ellie and Bobby take their shots.

“Never have I ever… Been the first to lose in Never Have I Ever,” Ellie decides.

You and Anna drink, which makes sense, looking at your scores.

The score is now: Bobby - 7, Jubilee - 9, Kitty - 7, Anna - 5, You - 4, and Ellie has 5.

“Since the game is already starting to be long, maybe we should just go until Y/N loses and decide the winner based on that,” Jubilee suggests.

“Who says I’ll lose?” You pout.

“You have the least amount of points, Y/N,” Ellie says. She can take her alcohol pretty well, surprisingly enough to her, while you’re an adorable - No, wait, fuck, I didn’t mean that - giggling mess.

“I do? Is that hot to you or should I start lying?” You ask, and it’s the same blunt interest as before. Ellie chuckles, realizing that perhaps the reason you’re a laughing fool is because you’re already totally unreserved, whereas she has walls up constantly that the alcohol has to break down first. She smiles at you.

“What do you think?” Ellie asks you, and it comes out more sultry than she thought she could ever sound. You squeak, blushing even harder than whatever’s in these plastic shot glasses is making you.

“Bobby! Your turn!” You blurt.

“Never have I ever… Had a crush on the person to the right of me.”

You and Anna take shots.

“That’s me,” you quietly tell her, thinking she got mixed up.

“I know,” Anna whispers back with a smirk, and jealousy pools in Ellie’s chest. It wasn’t hard to make her jealous, and it didn’t help that her emotions were heightened.

“Never have I ever…” Jubilee begins. “Had a crush on the person to the left of me.”

You eye Anna before making the decision to take a shot. Ellie takes her shot quickly, a little embarrassed at being caught. The jealousy inside her boils, now.

“Hey, what happened to having a crush on me?” Ellie asks - sounding more defensive than anything - before she can stop herself.

“Oh, trust me, Hothead, I call you Hothead because you’re hot and you're angry. I told you: daddy issues, mommy issues.”

“This is the first time you’ve called me Hothead.”

“Out loud,” you correct her in a tone that’s best described as ditzy, and she scoffs.

“Never have I ever,” Kitty loudly starts, drawing everyone’s attention. “Done a striptease. Doesn’t have to mean you got naked, just that you took off your clothes for someone else’s benefit.”

You take a shot.

“Jesus, Y/N, you need to write a book,” Bobby says.

“And start giving me advice!” Jubilee, still in first place, exclaims.

“Never have I ever… Kissed someone at the top of a Ferris wheel,” Anna declares. Kitty and Bobby each take a shot.

“Never have I ever…” You giggle, remembering many of these people have roommates. “Masturbated with someone else in the same room.”

All of them take a shot, and you cackle drunkenly.

“Never have I ever…” Ellie has a cunning smirk, knowing exactly how to end the game. “Had my dad be Deadpool.”

“Oh, come on,” you whine, taking your last shot. “Oof.”

“Let’s see everyone’s fingers!” Bobby cheers. He has 5, Jubilee has 8, Kitty has 5, Anna has 3, You have none, and Ellie has 3.

“Go Jubilee!” You cheer, and the rest of the players echo it, as well as a few of your random partying classmates, scattered throughout the clearing.

You try to stand up, but stumble, knees giving out almost instantly. Ellie steadies you, also not the most structurally sound but slightly less physically encumbered by her drunkenness.

“I think that’s enough for us,” she suggests. “Wanna go back to our room?”

“Oh, hell yeah, I thought you’d never ask,” you flirt, and she snorts. “Wait, wait, I can portal us back to the school, just gotta visualize it. Okay, there’s that one.” You wrap her in a tight hug before the two of you fall through the ground, landing on the paved walkway.

Ellie hurls into the hydrangea bushes, making you feel a bit nauseous, but you only gag.

“Water,” you slur. “We need water.”

Ellie nods, and the two of you stumble in, giggling a little bit and trying to be quiet but definitely not being as quiet as you think you are.

You two enter the kitchen, and - to your surprise - your father is in there, with a shiny man you realize is his beloved Colossus.

“Dad, what’re you doing here?” You stumble over your words but straighten your posture, trying to seem not drunk off your ass.

“Same thing you’re doing, flirting with Mr. Rasputin,” Ellie explains for him, opening the fridge and getting out two water bottles.

“I’m not flirting with Mr. Rasputin, weirdo, I’m flirting with you,” you correct her before you loudly whisper to Wade, holding a hand up to the side of your face like that’ll disguise your words: “I want her to sit on my face.”

“Did not need to know that,” Wade tells you at the same volume, blinking - and reevaluating the example he was setting for you, like Piotr had been asking him to do before you came in - before sighing.

“I got the water…” Ellie weakly informs you.

“Yeah!” You enthusiastically respond, and the two of you leave Wade and Piotr to whatever their conversation was. You two slowly make your way up the stairs, clutching each other and the railings.

The trek is eventually over, and the two of you sip on your water, you leaning against one of the four posts of the bunk bed.

“I’m so hot,” you complain, taking off your shirt - arching off the post in a way that surely wouldn’t be that suggestive to Ellie’s sober mind but Drunk Ellie is ready to jump your bones - without really thinking about it.

“Yeah,” Ellie agrees, and you notice her blush at the sight of you.

“So, you’ve never kissed a girl… Do you want to?” You ask her.

“Of course I want to,” she scoffs, before realizing what you’re asking: Not if she wants to in general, but if she wants to kiss you. “Definitely. And you’ve never gotten a hickey, right? Do you want to?”

“Of course I want to,” you echo, taking one more drink of water before fumbling with the cap and putting it on the ground. You press your lips to Ellie’s, and her hands mold themselves to your bare waist before sliding up your back as the two of you kiss, lips moving in sync.

“Wow,” she breathes after pulling away, placing a hot, open-mouthed kiss on the space between your neck and shoulder, just above your collarbone.

“Ellie…” you sigh, nibbling at your own tongue to prevent too much of a reaction and clutching at her shoulders. She continues to suck at your neck, sinking her teeth in and delighting in the way you tremble.

This continues, and you fidget quite a bit, finding that you want more after this and hoping she feels the same way.

Ellie eventually pulls away, admiring her handiwork and sliding a thumb over the dark red mark before looking to you for approval.Your bra strap slips down, and she fixes it, rather tenderly for someone with limited coordination.

She gets more than approval just by looking at your face, and kisses you once more, tangling her fingers in your hair haphazardly. Your grip slips from her shoulders to her shoulder blades and you dig into her back.

“Fuck,” Ellie says against your lips.

“Not yet,” you retort, pulling away. She feels her face heat up, and notices that both of you seem to be a bit more sober after the water and the… Other things. “But we could get pretty damn cozy on whichever bunk you want.”

Ellie nods.

“Top or bottom?” you ask her.

“Top, I would’ve thought it was obvious,” she scoffs, and you go to climb.

“Oh,” Ellie realizes, so used to you being overt that she thought she was answering a different question before. “Bottom bunk. I top.”

“Oh,” you repeat, mouth drying. You remove your foot from the ladder, removing your shoes afterward and sliding onto the bed. Ellie straddles you before capturing your lips with her own, steadily gaining a certain confidence in her abilities - and her instincts - that allows her to roughly pin your wrists down without thinking too hard on it. She continues to kiss you, enjoying the way you writhe beneath her, muffling already-quiet moans, but eventually she decides to move on to giving you another hickey.

Ellie mouths at your neck and your chin tips up to give her more access. She can’t help but grin, licking a stripe up your neck and going up higher, but on your left side this time, suckling and tonguing at the sensitive flesh just under your jaw.

“Gonna be hard to cover up,” you observe with bated breath, and Ellie adores the way your body feels against her.

“Good,” she snarls, surprising even herself, and you whimper. She can feel you rubbing your thighs together underneath her, and she nips at the new hickey. You cry out in surprise, in pleasurable pain and Ellie snickers - of course she does, you knew she’d tear you apart like this the moment you laid your hungry eyes on her - before removing her hands from your reddened wrists, straightening her posture so that she’s practically sitting on top of your mound, and placing a hand on each breast and admiring the fabric of your bra.

You can hear your heart pounding in your ears and Ellie arches a brow at you, waiting for an answer to the unspoken question

“Mhm,” you hum, and she smiles, squeezing experimentally at first and only watching the way you squirm beneath her. You fidget in a twisty way, desperate for more touch, and she lets out a moan - surprising even herself - and sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. “Don’t,” you request shyly, and she doesn’t stop herself from making noises as she massages your breasts at a more consistent pace while you rock yourself up into her, letting her grind down on your mound.

“That’s- Fuck, that’s nice,” Ellie tells you. “But we should stop.” You immediately still.

“Since you said so, definitely, but why?” you ask the girl, who’s still on top of you.

“Because I really want to, with you, but I wanna do things right. We’re both tired, we’re both still buzzed...” Ellie explains, sounding much more exhausted after she lays next to you. “Wanna take you to a scary movie, because you’ll either love it or hold me. Kiss you quick on the cheek after, and then you’ll kiss me on the lips because outside of this room you’re more forward. Walk you home and sneak in past curfew using a portal, have a late dinner of junk food.”

“You sound like you’re in love with me,” you half-joke.

“I’m gonna be,” Ellie sleepily tells you, slinging an arm over you in one last act of bravery before the two of you fall asleep.

#Ellie Phimister #ellie phimister x reader #ellie phimister imagine #negasonic teenage warhead #negasonicteenageimagines #negasonic x reader #negasonic teenage warhead x reader #negasonic teenage warhead imagine #X-men #x-men fanfiction #x-men imagine #X-men x reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #dadpool x reader

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thefloatingstone · 5 years

Note

Would you please make me a list of your rcommended comics(books or web-series any genre original content or fanworks)

Oh that’s a god one! Thank you so very much 💙 Let me see what I have on my shelf and on my hard drive. (I don’t know if I’ve ever made a list of my favourite comics before or not here on tumblr?)

in no particular order;

1: Usagi Yojimbo by Stan Sakai

I dunno if it ever really shows or not, but Japanese historical settings are something I’m really into! I think it’s one of those dormant interests that flares up every now and then. Anyway. Usagi Yojimbo has basically been tied for my favourite comic for over 10 years now. It’s a series of stories, both short and with longer arcs, following the character of Miyamoto Usagi (roughly based on Miyamoto Musashi) travelling around the country of Japan in the early 1600s as a Ronin after the lord he served was defeated and killed in battle. Usagi, being one of his samurai, is not killed in the same battle which, considering his lord was killed, is a massive disgrace in historical Japanese culture. Basically along the thought of “If your lord died and you didn’t you must not have fought hard enough to protect him.”

Anyway, the comic is both a history lesson on Edo period Japan, a travel diary, a slice of life comic, a Chanbara, an action comic, some times even a horror or ghost story, a tragedy involving unfulfilled love and lost families, a lesson on traditional Japanese Yokai and other mythology, and now and then high fantasy.

10/10. HIGHLY recommend. The author Stan Sakai is also a wonderful person I’ve had the pleasure to meet a few times at Comic Con. And considering he like... remembers who I AM despite being an extremely famous comic artist... I dunno. I have endless respect for the man and he’s shown me great kindness in the past.

Also you know... black and white comics. They’re my jam, yo!

2: Bone by Jeff Smith

I have no idea if I even have to say anything because Bone might just, without hyperbole, be the greatest comic ever drawn.

At 1300+ pages drawn over the course of 10 years, the story starts out as a cartoon, full of hijinks and fun adventures and jokes and very slowly, reality starts setting in, things get more dangerous, the stakes get higher, the bad guys much darker. And by the time you reach book 3 of the 9 book story, you’re suddenly in a story of the “epic” variety. Not in the internet slang term but in the actual definition of the word.

You have massive wars between men and monsters, you have clashing cultures and ideologies, conflicting motivations and goals, and of course saving the world.

And it manages to do so without you EVER feeling “Excuse me but this was a cartoon book about funny jokes. This shift in tone is really weird and doesn’t work with the cartoony characters.”

It just blends and grows beautifully. And has remained as my favourite comic for... *counts* lord... 14 years now.

The book was recently released in a new colour version in case you prefer hat, but I honestly recommend “The Brick” single volume black and white version. It’s cheaper, first of all, but also I cannot express how masterful the blacks and whites of Bone are. They’re essentially Watterson level.

(also Jeff Smith is ANOTHER comic artist who is just like... the nicest person. Like REALLY nice. He’s been kind to me on occasions in that “you really didn’t have to be that nice” kind of way)

3: The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck by Don Rosa

It’s published by Disney officially... but the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is essentially a fancomic. The only reason its not is because Don Rosa became SO GOOD at making duck comics Disney hired him to make them officially and he was SO GOOD at it became one of the most important Duck artists just after Carl Barks (the creator of Scrooge) himself.

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is a comprehensive biography of Scrooge McDuck’s life, not just made up by Don Rosa, but pieced together from Carl Barks’ own comics where he would have Scrooge make passing mention to events in his past or people he met. Don Rosa essentially took all these passing remarks and mentions and drew out a timeline, starting with Scrooge age 13 leading all the way up to his reunion with his family when Donald as an adult met up with him again.

It starts with Scrooge, from a poor family in Glasgow in 1877, boarding a ship for America to seek his fortune. We follow him through the years as with each chapter, he comes close to being rich and successful, only for it to fail or fall apart at the last minute, until, eventually, we see him catch his break and become the obscenely rich and successful person he’s fought and worked and bled so hard to be.

...and then the comic continues. And we see him lose himself. Greed, the constant need for MORE money and MORE success keeps going. The need to show HOW rich and successful he is takes over, until we see him and his family fall apart. And the comic echoes Citizen Kane as Scrooge realises the best time of his life was when he was seeking riches, not after he finally succeeded.

And then Donald and his nephews appear, and Scrooge’s life gets a second wind. His lust for adventure flares up again, his need to seek fortunes and treasures burns as strong as ever. And he keeps going.

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is a story about looking for your place in the world and fighting to create it with your own two hands, but it’s also about how you should think hard where you place your value in life, and it’s never too late to re-direct course and try again.

There is also “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck Companion” which is a collection of stories that didn’t fit in with the original comic and would have disrupted flow. Basically like how a fanfic will have oneshots related to a larger story

Also, the producer of the band “Nightwish” created a soundtrack to accompany the original comic as a sort of “What If” in what he imagined the story would sound like if it was made into a movie

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4: Cucumber Quest by Gigi D.G. ( @ggdgart )

A newer comic I stumbled upon which has skyrocketed into being a fave and I can already tell, that’s not a position it’s gonna relinquish. Cucumber Quest is a more cartoony and comedic story than the previous comics on this list. But that by no means makes it of any less value or dulls the moments that this comic decides to punch you in the gut with emotions HARD.

The art and colours are glorious and something I hope to study so I can better my own art hopefully, and the writing and humour is of a calibre that I just know I could not replicate it if I even tried. Full of puns, absurdism, awkward jokes and a whole lot of FEELINGS, It manages to make me both laugh myself into a coughing fit as often as it makes me yell “OH NOOOO!!!” when something dramatic happens.

The story follows our main character Cucumber, a put-upon out-of-his-depth wizard-to-be who is tasked with saving the world from the evil Nightmare Knight who has been summoned from his thousand year slumber by an evil sorcerer who wants to take over the world (as you do). With him is his little sister, the sword wielding Almond, who is WAY more into this “being a hero” thing than he is (and probably better at it too) as the duo make friends and travel to the various kingdoms to defeat the Nightmare Knight’s lackeys, working their way up to fighting the Nightmare Knight himself and sealing him away once more!

That all sounds.... really straightforward, doesn’t it? Well... that’s what everybody else in the comic thinks too. ...Shame that real life is never easy and straightforward.

From evil henchmen that start crushing on cool “Good Guys” with cool swords, good guys who don’t REALLY want to hurt the bad guys because they don’t seem so bad? To cool good guys with cool swords suddenly learning that being in danger is not as much fun as it sounded when they started this. To big evil final boss bad guys who are just tired of all of this...

What’s also awesome is the entire comic... all OVER 800 PAGES OF IT... is completely free to read online! But you can also buy physical copies of the first 4 volumes in book form to support the author!

http://cucumber.gigidigi.com/cq/page-1/

I HIGHLY recommend this one too! It has canon LGBT characters! It has found family plots! It has scary bad guys that just need a hug! It has magical girl transformations! Literally anything you could want is in this comic. Including emotional wrecking angst! Did I mention FEELINGS???

(I couldn’t pick a single page so here are 3 random ones without context. Seriously almost EVERY page is so good I struggled very hard to choose)

5: The Property of Hate by @modmad

Hey. Do you like fantasy worlds made of imagination? How about protagonists with grey morality who act like super primand proper gentlemen when they’re actually huge nerds? How about reluctant “Well I guess I’ve ADOPTED you now you annoying gremlin” adult-kid relationships? How about puns? How about abstract and colourfull character designs? Or saving the world?

The Property of Hate is Modmad’s original comic that they’ve been working on a few years now. it follows our lead character, RGB or “Problematic Mary Poppins” as I like to think of him, as he asks a young child if she’d like to be a hero and help him save his world? When she agrees, he takes her to a fantasy land... completely NOT preparing her for what she’s signed up for. The story then follows the duo through the abstract and shifting world as RGB slowly divulges information on what exactly our Hero has to do to save the world. It turns out it’s a lot more complicated and messy than merely “beat the bad guy” or anything like that.

Not to mention it seems this fantasy world has its own rules of reality and dangers. Emotions and abstract thoughts have real physical form here, and something like an “idea” can quite literally run around and create havoc, while something like dreams can fuel or destroy, and emotions like grief can cause irreparable damage.

Our Hero also learns RGB himself is a lot more complex and messy than he first appears. Seeming to be a good person trying to do good things (despite being a little stand offish and rude at times) but seems to also be carrying a past and the weight of having done some very very bad things “for the greater good”. And our Hero, as well as we, the readers, start wondering how much we should trust him, even though, just like our Hero, deep deep down we just know we WANT to trust him. And maybe he needs saving just as much as the world itself does. Even when he’s at his scariest and... not quite himself.

The Property of Hate is also available online completely for free. Modmad does have books for sale but I believe it’s on-demand or something along those lines. Please feel free to message them here on tumblr and they are happy to chat to their readers and interact.

http://thepropertyofhate.com/TPoH/The%20Hook/1

I think I’ll leave it there despite meaning to do 10 at first because this is already EXTREMELY long.

Hopefully you found something that seems interesting! Let me know if you decide to check any of these out and whether you ended up liking them or not! I’d love to hear your opinions.

And thank you for indulging me <3

(I’m trying to remember to add my ko-fi link to all longer posts like this I make. Especially since I keep forgetting ☕️Buy me a Ko-fi ☕️ )

#lucymelonbun #C-Puff answers #Long post #image heavy #Comics #comic recommendations #comic recs #I added a read more to this post but tumblr ate it so whatever #thank you for letting me ramble about stuff I like #I feel better <3

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jadeender · 5 years

Text

Altered: Epilouge

The next morning each of them woke up in their beds. Curse, Ravio, and Legend were all returned to Legend’s house. Time woke up the next morning in bed at Lon Lon Ranch to a cry from Malon, happy he was back. Sky awoke in the still recovering Castle in his room and immediately sought out Zelda to tell her what had happened, who he'd seen. Warriors awoke in a similar way, hoping the trouble he'd be in back in his own home would have dispersed.

Wind and Tempest awoke in the bedroom they would now share, with Aryll running in crying happily that her brothers were home. Wild woke up alone in his house in Hateno village and sighed. Twi too woke up in his home alone.

Hyrule was returned to his home and awoke to go talk to his Zelda's, they deserved to know where he'd been. Four and Maverick awoke in Fours house/ forge.

Three months later

Maverick crossed out of the shadow realm and stood in front of the farmhouse at Lon Lon Ranch. They've planned a little party to celebrate the end of their adventure and everyone was coming. Even Savage and Noble had been convinced to come.

The past few months had been good, Four had resumed his job at the forge and was making weapons, cups, cutlery, and just about everything you could from metal. Just to have something to do Maverick had decided to take up some metal engraving, his shadow blades were small and precise enough he never made a mistake the embellishments be added to his lights products had been very popular with the locals.

Officially the locals knew him as Fours brother, having travelled to visit his brother and deciding to stay. This suited him just fine, because I'm a way he felt like he was.

He was still working on figuring out who he wanted to be, he'd rediscovered a passion for reading and spent much of his down time in books. And he was living a good life, he didn't like to be around people but the townspeople were kind and the quiet retreat of the forge were enough to keep him doing fine.

Four stepped up next to him and opened the door and gave his friend a mischievous smile. It was time to see everyone again.

They walked in and pretty much the entire hang had already arrived. Malon was busy bustling around, Wild was in the kitchen cooking with Legend passing out plates and forks.

The others were sitting at the table telling stories from the past month. At the moment Warriors was dominating the conversation as bombastic as ever.

"Training the new army is going much better than I'd thought it would. A good number of men came from across Hyrule when we put out the call for soldiers. We compensated the families of the old army, and Zelda and I have been personally visiting them when possible and set things right. It's not perfect but we're working towards perfection. Soon the new army will be fully trained and it'll be business as usual." Warriors said gesturing.

"A whole army trained in 3 months? Only you could do that 'captain'." Hyrule mocked laughing at his own joke, the others cracked up as well and then noticed the two new entrants into the house.

"It's good to see you again." Time intercepted them as they headed to the table. He looked different, almost younger with the armor and like a burden had been lifted.

"Happy to be here." Maverick replied forcing eye contact, no longer scared of it.

Four and Maverick took seats at the end of the table were Wind was regaling Ravio and Curse with tales from home. He was in the middle of talking about their most recent adventure with Tetra fighting of an enemy horde of pirates.

"It really was amazing. He's getting much better at controlling his powers, the whole fleet was swept up in a storm and delayed by a week. By the time they reached us they were almost too tired to fight." Tempest shifted uncomfortably at the mention of him but quickly switched to bravado.

"Don't pretend like it was your idea, it was my plan that saved you when they tried to take you hostage." He pointed out very self assured.

"Yes because calling down lightning is exactly what I would have done, you know considering I was inches away from the guy, that was real safe." Wind shot back.

Everyone got a kick out of that laughing at the twos “arguing”. By then the table had been set and they were just waiting for their last guests to arrive. Savage and Noble were the last to arrive but when they did there was a noticeable difference. Whatever injuries they had suffered from fighting Maverick were completely healed.

Noble was of course dressed in his best, his tunic and cloak were high quality and his braided hair was free of any and all dirt, decorated with what appeared to be ribbons, and peculiarly enough a golden feather. Savage was himself. Although apparently living with Noble was a good influence on his as his hair and clothes were clean and free of blood stains, though his tunic still had some characteristic tarrering, the dark wolf pelt wrapped around his shoulders.

Maverick got up and greeted them first, gulping slightly. "Hey so, I'm sorry for what happened while I was under Callous's control. I don't really remember what I said or what I did but I know we fought, and I'm sorry."

He squirmed waiting for a second. He knew whatever fight they'd had he'd won much to his own surprise. But had no idea how they'd treat him now.

"It wasn't you." Savage replied gruffly. "No doubt you would have never chosen to attack us if not for that bastard, I'm only sad I wasn't there to see him die. I won't hold any grudges, as long as you don't hold any against me."

Maverick unconsciously touched his neck where scars of wolves teeth lingered and nodded. "You did what you had to do then, Eternal was the one to blame, not you."

Savages features softened a little, and gave Maverick a look one could almost call enduring. "But if we ever fight again don't think you'll win. You proved you can win a fight for once, but don't get cocky."

Maverick nodded, his face determined..even though he had been under someone else's control the skill had been his own, he was a better fighter now and not a scared one at that.

Noble gave him a look and with his scratchy voice just said, "it's good to see you not in a fight."

The last two sat and the meal started. Despite the term "little party" they'd gone all out. Stew, various meats, pies and cakes had been made. Skewers of fish and roasted vegetables, all served with cold refreshing Lon Lon milk of course.

The meal was amazing, everyone was in a good mood. And after almost an hour they started cleaning up and they retired outside to enjoy the sunset. They sat in the field with colors streaming across the sky, orange and pink and yellow.

“I'm glad everyone’s here. It’s great to be home, and to rest. Even if Malon has been keeping me busy around the farm.” Malon laughed him as Time continued. “But I’ve missed all of you. Our adventures touring your worlds and my own, even though we had tough moments, I will always treasure that time. It was different but relieving to have others along for the journey this time. Thanks to you all I was able to return home alive, and in one piece this time.”

Time shifted as Malon stood to stand next to him. “We have a little surprise for all of you.”

Malon stood in side profile and creased down her shirt, showing just the beginnings of a baby belly. The crowd rioted! Everyone was thrilled, that after everything Time was gonna have a family, and he’d found the peaceful life all of them were still searching for.

After a round of congratulations and everyone calmed down Four and Maverick stepped up.

“Well we can’t compete with a new baby but we do have a present for everyone.” Four held up a bag and removed from it a bangle about an inch wide. Simple silver metal but it was inlaid with a triforce, one corner of which was colored green. Maverick began to pass them out as his light continued. “Maverick and I made these together. I shaped the band and he did the engraving. After all its the spirit of courage that unites us so we figured we’d make a physical reminder of that. Something to make sure we don’t forget each other.”

“And for the darks, we may not be spirits of courage, but we’ve all shown we’re not cowards either. So we made these.” The bangles were identical to the ones they’d given to the other except the corner of the triforce was the color of each of their eyes. He’d painstakingly made sure to find paints to match each of them. “We’re not like the lights but not completely different. And i thought this would be a good way to remember them.”

Maverick pulled the last one out, its corner a brilliant blue and slipped it on.

“They’re beautiful.” Noble said slipping is on and admiring the glinting metal. “You matched it perfectly.”

____________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the evening passed quickly, they made a campfire out there under the stars in Lon Lon Ranch. Sharing stories and enjoying one last night together. They talked well past midnight. And eventually guests began to leave. Tempest and Wind traveling back to their seaside home. Curse tacking Hyrule home before returning for Legend and Ravio, promising Malon he would make her a good deal to sell her Lon Lon milk in the other hyrule, offering a generous cut.

Noble and Savage stayed much longer into the night but eventually left as well, bound for bed, napping apparently being something they’d taken to recently now that the adventure was over, no doubt they had plenty of sleep to catch up on.

Twilight and Wild were staying at the ranch for a little while so they also went up to their rooms until only Four and Maverick remained.

"It's time we went home." Maverick said standing from the couch he and Four had been sitting on as they chatted with Time and Malon.

"You're welcome to stay here tonight if you want. You know we have the room." Malon offered, but the two refused.

"We'll be home in seconds, and there's nothing better than your own bed." Four said as he also got ready to leave.

"I can't argue with that." Time smiled and caught them before they could vanish. "Remember you're always welcome here, whenever you want to drop in, please do."

"We appreciate it." Four answered as story disappeared into the shadows and reappeared in a room with two bunk beds and one single bed off on its own.

Maverick flopped down on the single bed as Four looked pensively at the bunk beds as if trying to decide where to sleep.

Eventually he picked the bottom bunk of one bed and laid down. And everything was calm in the house, darkness fell over the room and the two lapsed into sleep, their adventure finally over.

#linked universe #merged #altered #pretty much all warm fluffies #and stereotypical happily ever after

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supernatural---imagines · 5 years

Text

Your Type (Dean Imagine)

hi can i please have a dean x reader where the reader is best friends with charlie and she introduces you to sam and dean (she told you about the hunting) and the reader and dean instantly have this connection and he uses some cheesy pick up line to ask her out and its super fluffy thank you sooooooooooo much you are one of the few active supernatural blogs

Dean fic where you aren’t interested in meeting the boys cause youre friends with charlie and are mad at them for ruining her life, but then fall for dean?

I dont know if anyone out there still cares but i recently found the password to this blog that i lost 2 years ago. Im sure none of you are active anymore but heres a dean fic in case anyone is? I started this like 2/3 years ago...

“Hey Charlie?” You called to your best friend through the hall of her apartment, having just woken up from your room where you had been staying for the past few days.

“In here!” She shouted back from the living room. You wandered in spotting the clock on the wall noticing how long you had been sleeping for. Charlie was sitting on her couch with her foot up on the coffee table lacing her boots up.

“Headed somewhere?”

“Im off to see Sam and Dean, they called this morning they need help with a case” she answered

“Oh god not all that monster crap” You replied with dread in your voice. Charlie had got pulled into this insane life by these two boys about a year ago now. As her best friend, she told you everything and you would have thought she was mad if she hadn’t shown you cold hard evidence. You slightly despised these men. Your friend was happy, in a good job, enjoying her life for the first time in a while, then they showed up and took that all away from her forcing her to leave her life behind.

“Yes, monster crap.” She rolled her eyes at you. “Look, I know you don’t really like the brothers, but honestly they’re like my family. You should come along and meet them, you wont have to do any hunting they’ve got a pretty neat set up and you can kick back for a few days”

“I’m not sure..”

“They’re also both totally hot and single! Dean is so your type” She teased.

“I don’t like them, i will definitely not be getting with either of them. But ill come along for you.” You agreed hesitantly.

About 45 minutes later, you arrived at your destination. It would be so easy to miss if you weren’t aware of exactly where it is. Charlie got out of the car and gave you a reassuring smile before heading down the steps towards the door. You had expressed your nerves to her about meeting the boys in the car ride down.

She knocked on the door and was greeted by a tall man with longer hair. A huge smile beamed across his face as he scooped charlie up in a hugged as he greeted her happily. You stood back from the door not really sure how the man would receive you.

“Sam this is my friend, y/n. I’ve told you guys about her before. She’s been staying with me so i brought her along i hope thats ok.” Charlie explained to Sam as she stepped away from the hug and took a few steps towards you.

“Yes of course, hey y/n” Sam smiled at you extending his hand for you to shake it. You were kind of taken back. Unless this guy is an incredible manipulative actor, he does not seem like the type of man who would have destroyed Charlie’s life.

Sam invited you all inside where his brother, who must have been Dean, was standing at the bottom of the staircase, who greeted charlie just as happily as his brother did. You took in the surroundings of the Winchesters home, as Charlie explained who you were to the other brother. It was incredible, it was a massive underground building and definitely had Tardis style architecture. You were instantly drawn to the massive world map table that was located in the middle of the room, in front of a library type room.

Dean said his hellos to you, much less receptive of you than Sam was. You were kind of hoping he’d be just as friendly because Charlie was right, he was your type. You all sat around the table in the library for around an hour, done some quick catching up and some getting to know you before they dove into the case they were working. Charlie needed to help Sam hack into a security system as he just couldn't crack it alone, as the Winchesters needed to break into a facility to steal some weapon to kill some monster or other. You didn’t pay much attention to the details, to be honest you couldn’t as it was all still quite confusing to you.

“I’ll take Charlie to the site tonight so she can figure out what she needs to break this, and if she can do it we will come back in the early hours and break in. Sound good?” Sam explained his plan to his brother. He nodded in agreement and got up off his seat in sync with Charlie and Sam who started to head off.

“Alright follow me and i’ll put the TV on for you in Sam’s room, food and beer is in the fridge help yourself.” Dean said before he started off in the direction of the hall.

“Umm Dean?” You called, he stopped and turned round. “I don’t mean to be rude, but this place creeps me out a little and I’m not a crazy hunter who’s not afraid of anything, so if you’re not busy would you mind staying with me?” You spoke this half truth, yeah it was true that you didn’t want to be in this place alone, you didn’t know it at all and it was quite uncomfortable to be left in someone’s bedroom. But at the same time, you could help but remember Charlie saying how Dean was single.. and he definitely was your type.

“Look, i’m going to be honest. I don’t know you, and sometimes I don’t take too kindly to strangers. But Charlie is like a little sister to me and if you’re her friend then i guess i want you to be comfortable.” He started towards the kitchen and you followed him in. “We’ll grab a beer and... get to know each other” he said almost through gritted teeth. Yeah, he was right about not being the most welcoming.

You sat down at the kitchen table and Dean set down a beer in front of you before he went off down the hall and came back with a cassette player, and stuck in an ACDC tape. You smiled and expressed your love for the band, and once you began talking music, Dean started to relax a bit. You talked for around an hour, and the previously off standish Dean had started laughing and joking. He explained a bit more about hunting and how he met Charlie.

“I’m going to be honest Dean, once you came into Charlie’s life everything got a little but fucked up and I kind of hated you both a bit for it..” You brought the laughter to a halt.

“Believe me, no one hates us more for that than ourselves.” Dean said bowing his head. You regretted bringing this up. He took a swig of his beer after shaking his head a little, clearly this was a hard subject to deal with. The whole time you were hating them for ruining Charlie’s life they were hating themselves 10 times harder, you had never actually considered that they never ever wanted to do that.

You reached your hand across the table and placed it on top of Dean’s. The many beers you’d put away giving you the confidence to touch this magnificently attractive man in an attempt to comfort him. He brought his eyes to yours suspiciously, not understanding what was going on.

“I didn’t mean to upset you” You started to apologize when he snatched his hand away to fish out his phone that was vibrating in his pocket.

It was sam explaining Charlie can hack the system with everything they have with them, and Sam is going to go in alone tonight, then they’ll stay in a near by hotel and will be back in the morning.

“Looks like it’s just you and me tonight kid” Dean remarked, finishing off his beer. You smiled to yourself, you’d come to quite like this man and a night of just you and him didn’t sound too bad.

An hour later you found your self in Dean’s bedroom, however not in the way you had hoped. You were both sitting on the edge of his bed watching Batman. Somehow you ended up on the topic of this film and how long it had been since you both seen it, and it just so happened Dean had the DVD.

“I’m sorry..” you interrupted the film “I know you like batman but MAN am I rooting for the Joker so hard right now”

“You’re a horrible person” Dean said sarcastically

“Oi!” You yelled, gently punching his arm to express your annoyance at his comment. He nudged you back instantly on the shoulder pushing you backwards onto the bed. You yelled out his name with a laugh and pulled him down with you, wrestling around for a minute before he pinned your wrists above your head and the smiles both faded from your faces. He was leaning over you, his eyes searching in yours looking for permission to kiss you. You leaned up slightly and he brought his lips to yours, kissing you passionately before letting go of your wrists to trace his hands over your body. He melted into the kiss as his hands felt every inch of you, sliding up your shirt to feel your breasts over your bra. You grabbed the back of his neck forcing him to sink even deeper into the kiss. He paused and pulled away from your lips, as his hand moved away from under your shirt and lingered on the button of your pants, as he looked into your eyes. You smirked and nodded your head at him before he undid the button and ripped them off you.

The next morning you were woken at 6am by Dean’s alarm, you groaned as you rolled over to smack it to shut it up. You looked beside you and saw a half awake Dean, who was completely naked under the blankets, with messy bed head and an annoyed look on his face from the screeching alarm. Beer bottles, snack wrappers and a whiskey bottle were littered over the floor. As you sat up your hangover suddenly became apparent to you as you moaned a little before forcing yourself to get out of the bed.

“Mornin” he grumbled as he picked up a pillow and put it over his face and rolled over. You laughed to yourself and got up, throwing on Deans plaid shirt and your underwear. The smile didn’t leave your lips as you put the clothes on, the memories of last night spent with Dean was one of the best you’d had in a long while.

You left Dean to sleep a bit longer, and walked out of the bedroom making your way to the kitchen to find coffee. You didn’t notice Sam and Charlie sitting down with some breakfast before it was too late, they’d spotted you in the older Winchester’s shirt and no pants. “I told you he was your type” Charlie giggled, erupting laughter from Sam as your face turned red from embarrassment.

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #dean winchester one shot #supernatural

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Laws of Motion / Chapter 3 (Trixya) - DenDenMonMon

Hello! If you are just joining now, this is what you’ve missed.

Detective Mattel was tired of her boring little life, with a steady boyfriend and cases that pretty much solved themselves. When she got the promotion that she wanted, instead of celebrating, her friends bailed of her, her heart got broken, and she slept with a woman for the first time in her life.

Detective Zamo was really good at what she did, she always got the weirdest cases, and enjoyed putting freaks behind bars. When her partner got an early retirement, she was confronted with the fact that, the new addition to the team, was the girl she hooked up with the previous weekend.

AO3 Link

Chapter 3 - Blue.

Trixie stared at the same board she had been looking at for the last two weeks.

It felt like a piece out of a movie scene, with pictures and maps and big lines connecting the information.

When she decided to be part of the police force, that was what she had expected the job to be. She had watched just enough television in her childhood to inspire that mental image. She liked the aspect of the crimes being one big puzzle, she only needed to find all the right pieces, and then put them together. She became a detective and none of that happened. She was twenty-six years old and felt like she had wasted the last five years of her life behind a desk.

Now, as she tried to make sense of the pieces of paper thumbtacked down on the cork board, she felt utterly unprepared. A single moment of doubt washed over her, and she allowed it.

Maybe she was supposed to be a desk rat.

Maybe her role in the force was supposed to be minor.

Maybe she was never supposed to have gotten that promotion.

The self-loathing was gone as quickly as it arrived. She was meant to be there. She hadn’t fought so hard to get out of her hometown, struggled to climb up the professional ladder, achieved the position she wanted, just to give up on her first case. There was no way she could give this guy, a weirdo obsessed with turning prostitutes into puppets, the power to ruin her life.

Shaking her head, to get rid of any previous thoughts, she tried to look at the evidence with new eyes.

There had been seven murders total, six over the course of the last year, and the most recent one five months later. All pictures provided the same scene but different girl. They were all at their own place, sitting at their dining table. The arms of all the girls were lifted by strings attached to the ceiling. Impeccable makeup was applied on their faces, and their bodies were completely drained of blood.

None of the apartments showed signs of forced entry, which meant they had all known the killer to some extent. That last part was still inconcrete, since the girls had nothing to connect them other that their profession. They didn’t work on the same street, didn’t have friends in common. Nothing. This man had made them trust him enough to let him into their homes.

But how?

She looked at the dots placed on the map of the city, indicating where the killings had taken place. The biggest one signaled the spot where the last body had been found.

Trixie couldn’t make sense out of them. She had tried connecting the dots, they didn’t form any shape or letter or specific form. There was no hidden message on the distributions of the murders. She had also tried to find a reason behind the actual addresses. There was no play on words with the names of the streets, and the numbers of the residencies didn’t have any resemblance.

What she needed was a break. She was sure she had memorized every piece of information on that board. The best solution would be to distance herself from it and come back with a fresh state of mind.

“There’s a saying where I come from: watching pots will never make them boil.”

When she got no response, she turned around, ready to ask Kennedy if she wanted to grab some coffee, but all she found was a sleeping body. Kennedy snoring softly was actually a lot more helpful than the awake version of her, who was always shutting down theories and never coming up with good ideas. She did more to delay the process than to help solve the case. Katya had recommended to Trixie to just let Kennedy sleep.

Katya.

Things hadn’t been as tense with Katya, as Trixie had expected. There was something about Katya that just made people want to be around her, her company was enjoyable. Trixie quickly realized that she wasn’t the only one drawn to her beyond reason. They were often being interrupted as their colleagues went to chat with her. The constant visits made their interactions easier. Trixie was never really alone with Katya for long periods, preventing awkwardness to seep into their conversations.

On more than one occasion Trixie had caught Katya staring at her, hungry eyes scanning her curves without a care. It was almost as if Katya wanted her to know that she was being watched, observed, wanted. All that Trixie had felt was uncomfortable.

Although, deep down, a small part of her had been flattered that Katya could flirt with her so openly, throwing dirty jokes at her, and making her blush in the most inappropriate times. It kind of hurt to realize that was simply her personality. There was this charm about Katya that seemed to work on both men and women, and she reveled in her bisexuality. She would shamelessly share stories about sucking a penis one day and then rant about how beautiful boobs were the next. It was such a strange sight for Trixie, who had grown up in the deep country, with the simplistic idea of a woman finding a man to put a ring on her finger, and the story would end.

In the two weeks they had been working together, Trixie had learned more about Katya’s sexual career than her actual life.

All the stories of carefree sex also weighed Trixie’s heart down a little, because it meant that she had been nothing but a notch on Katya’s bedpost. She had internally been kicking herself for that weekend she spent picturing the two of them together, not only repeating the night they had shared but turning it into something special. How naïve she had been. Her foolishness had an excuse, though, or at least that was what she kept telling herself. She had just been dumped. Her mind wasn’t thinking straight, her heart wasn’t feeling properly, her soul wasn’t directing the pain to the right person. It was a more than valid reason.

The amount of work they had to go through had also played a big part on mending Trixie’s broken heart. She had a purpose, she had something to do, she had a murderer to catch. They did, both of them; but Katya was constantly asking for breaks, going out for a smoke or needing more coffee.

Trixie wondered if she was trying to take a step back from the case as well. Looking at the clock, she realized Katya had left for the gym over an hour ago and hadn’t come back.

Running sounded like a good idea. Maybe Trixie should go on the treadmill for a bit and try to clear her head.

Just stepping out of the meeting room, that had been reserved for the case specifically, already had Trixie feeling much better. She was not alone with her thoughts, and Kennedy’s loud breathing wasn’t her only ambience anymore. The bullpen was alive, people were coming and going, printers could be heard in the background, and a phone rang somewhere.

Trixie waved at Violet when she passed by the copying machine. Violet only nodded her head slightly in return, always focused and concentrated in her work. Katya considered Violet one of her best friends, and promised Trixie she wasn’t always as cold and distant. Trixie had a hard time believing it; but ultimately trusted Katya’s judgement on people.

On her desk, Jasmine was laughing loudly at something Roy was telling her. Across the room Tempest had her nails digging on Kasha’s back, trying to scratch a spot that she couldn’t reach herself.

With a smile on her face, Trixie walked passed them, changed into her sports clothes, and made her way down to the basement. It was close to the end of the shift, there was only one other person at the gym.

Katya could feel every single muscle screaming at her in unison. She had been straining them to their maximum capacity. The rubber band restricted the stretching even more, and she loved it. She was always trying to break the boundaries of her own elasticity. She felt the plastic biting at the arch of her foot, but she stubbornly kept trying to make her shin touch her ear. Her other leg was tucked in front of her, providing the needed support to remain balanced.

She didn’t notice when someone else walked into the room but she could hear the soft thuds of feet against the belt of a treadmill.

Her eyes were closed, but she could still feel a stare burning her skin. It felt nice to be observed, she liked it a lot. If her sudden spectator wanted a show, she was going to give them just that.

Throwing the resistance band to the side, she extended both legs in front of her. Her back straightened, and she concentrated on the low of her back as she bent forward. Very easily her hands took hold of her feet, she used them as anchor points to have her forehead pressed against her knees.

She then opened her legs, making her head softly drop to the floor. Wider and wider she spread her legs until they formed a perfect side split.

Her heels were planted on the floor, the palms of her hands laid flat in front of her, and she lifted her tailbone from the ground. Her torso pressed hard against the floor as her butt remained up in the air. She dropped back down and waited a few seconds.

The feet on the treadmill sounded faster.

She started bouncing, in slow controlled movements, making her ass hit the floor every time. It wasn’t intentional but she started to turn herself on. She hump the ground faster and faster. Grunts left her mouth in effort but they soon turned into moaning.

The stepping sound stopped, only the belt going around and around could be heard.

Using her arms, she pushed her torso back up. Her legs closed in front of her, and she let out a deep sigh. Her eyes opened. Her lips curled up into a smirk when she spotted Trixie. She had her feet on each side of the machine, avoiding the band that still ran below her. Her mouth was wide open in shock, revealing a piece of gum stuck to her molars. It was a funny sight to say the least.

“Oh, hi,” Katya said as casually as she could. “Didn’t see you there.”

Trixie didn’t move from her spot. She needed a moment to recover but she finally spoke. “You are flexible,” she stated the obvious.

Katya laughed shortly. “I am. You should have known that by now, Mary.”

A button was pressed, the treadmill stopped running.

“You-you… I mean, we didn’t…” Trixie stuttered, making Katya laugh again.

“Maybe we should, then,” she offered with a side smile and the shrug of a shoulder.

The look of shock on Trixie’s face was priceless. Katya couldn’t hold it any longer and started laughing hysterically.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she managed between laughs. “It’s just so easy to��” She was unable to finish her sentence, as more laughter took over her.

“You are horrible.” Trixie took her hand towel and threw it at her, small giggles bubbled up inside her.

The towel landed not even halfway between the two, but it worked to lighten up the mood. Katya watched as Trixie climbed down from the machine to pick the towel up, then made her way to sit right in front of her.

“Did you and Kennedy manage to get something?” The question was clearly rhetorical, Katya knew the answer already. Nonetheless, she asked with a serious tone, hoping that Trixie would catch the humor behind it.

Luckily, she did. Trixie laughed softly, a small “Oh, totally,” leaving her lips. “I don’t understand how she can sleep so much,” she continued, her voice laced with bewilderment.

Katya’s legs kicked the air between them as she laughed uncontrollably. She did manage to catch the small smile on Trixie’s lips, though. She seemed proud to make her hysterical like that. Katya then made a mental note to laugh at her jokes more often, just so she could see that cocky smile again.

“No, but seriously,” Katya directed the conversation back to work. “What are we missing? I feel like there’s something, right in front of us, that we are not seeing.”

“They can’t be isolated cases,” Trixie offered. “There’s no way.”

“And we are not dealing with a copy-cat,” Katya declared. “I know it’s him. I can feel it in my pussy.”

Trixie lifted an overly drawn eyebrow. “You know, normal people don’t feel hunches in their… in there.”

“Oh, there’s nothing normal about this pussy, Momma.”

It looked like she wanted to say something, as if a comeback had died on Trixie’s lips, because she opened and closed her mouth. In the end she just laughed and told Katya they should go back to work. She wanted to share a few ideas with her, and it was getting late.

Katya allowed Trixie to help her up, ignoring the electric shock hitting her palm as soon as their hands met. The procedure felt oddly familiar.

They made their way back upstairs, still in their workout clothes, which made it even harder for Katya to keep her eyes away from Trixie. The leggings hugged her ass tightly, accentuated her fleshy hips and tiny waist. The tank top she was wearing barely did anything to cover her big tits. The term ‘hourglass figure’ was invented just so Katya could put into words the exact shape of Trixie’s body.

The room was empty when they reached it. It was a few minutes past six and everybody on their floor had headed home for the evening. Nobody from the night shift had arrived yet. Would it really be that inappropriate if they–

“You see this?”

Trixie’s voice took her out of her dirty train of thoughts. Her finger pointed at a picture. A picture that Katya had been analyzing for over a year. It was the crime scene of the first victim they had found. There was nothing on that picture that Katya hadn’t seen before.

“What-what? What am I seeing?”

Trixie moved her finger a little, a blue square was next to the foot of the table. “At first I didn’t think much of this. It looked like a random piece of paper, right?” She then moved to the table in the middle, shuffling through files. “Then, I found this!”

She pulled out a picture of the third murder. In the image a bunch of clutter could be seen on a coffee table. Underneath an empty bottle of vodka, a blue shadow was almost imperceptible, but Katya could see it. It was there.

“I don’t know if it means anything,” Trixie shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not even sure if they are the same thing. Maybe I’m just seeing stuff.”

“Nonono,” Katya was quick to correct her. “I think you are into something.” Her eyes were wild, seemingly unfocused, going rapidly through the pictures on the desk. “We need to find a better shot of this. Have you seen it on any other crime scene?”

Even though Katya was not looking at her, Trixie shook her head. “I haven’t really gone through everything, just spotted it on my way out earlier today.”

“Okay, okay.” Katya nodded dramatically. “Let’s do this. Why don’t you go down to the nerds and see if they can blow it up and make out what it says. I will look into the other pictures and see if I can find it again.”

Trixie obeyed without hesitation, running out of the room to find the tech experts.

Katya threw all the pictures to the floor in one swift motion, to get a better view. She couldn’t believe she had missed something like that. She had been studying the same cases for so long and, as happy as she was that they possibly had a new lead, her insecurities still made their presence noticed. It felt like failing, and there was nothing she hated more than that.

If she had overlooked that tiny detail, what else had she missed?

She was not going to dwell on things like that, though, not anymore. She had learned to live with fear and anxiety and used them in her favor, as propulsors to do better instead of crippling her. All the thoughts getting tangled in her mind only drove her to work harder, to focus better. She’d learned to redirect those emotions and put them to good use. That was the reason why, when Trixie came back with an enlarged version of the picture, Katya had found the blue paper in another of the crime scenes.

“What did you get?” She asked Trixie.

Trixie looked around until she found an empty spot on the cork board. “It looks like a flower… a rose, maybe?” Her head tilted, trying to see the pixeled picture from a different angle. “Did you find anything?”

“Yes! And there’s also this.” Katya’s face contorted, a string of unintelligible noises leaving her mouth. “I don’t know. It could be something.” She moved around the floor, where she had spread all the pictures they had from the different crime scenes, until she found the most recent one. “Look at her feet. The blood puddle is oddly shaped on this side. It kinda ends on a straight line. You see?”

She brought the photo closer to Trixie, she could understand exactly what Katya was saying.

“It’s as if… there was… something square stopped…” Trixie trialed off, unsure of how to put into words what she was seeing.

Katya smiled widely. “Aha-aha,” she encouraged her. “As if something square had been there and forced the blood to spill around it!” She concluded.

Trixie’s face filled with recognition. “Oh, my God! We have to get back there!”

She wasn’t even done pronouncing the phrase when Katya was already grabbing her keys.

“You took the words right out of my pussy.”

The laugh that came out of Trixie was unintentional. “Oh wow. You really are obsessed with your pussy.”

Katya stopped walking, her hands up in front of herself, as if Trixie had just said the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, c’mon, aren’t you?”

Trixie didn’t reply. She pushed her playfully to keep on walking, and followed her outside. She couldn’t tell Katya that indeed there was a point where she had been obsessed, not only with that particular part of her body, but everything that she was. That in her mind she had conjured this image of her that had nothing to do with reality. That the reality of Kaya had surpassed even her wildest dreams. No, she couldn’t confess any of that. So she simply laughed it off and got in the passenger seat of Katya’s car, which was a mess.

“Uh, you are just like my sister. Her car is disgusting.”

“Hey!” Katya reproched. “I am an agent of the law, my duty is to put criminals behind bars. Who has time to clean a car when the whole human race is at risk?”

It was meant to be a joke, Trixie knew it but, as soon as Katya pulled out of the parking lot, without checking the road for other cars, she couldn’t help but notice the irony of her words. Katya’s driving was reckless. She never did as much as glance in the rearview mirror, and changed lanes without turning her blinkers on. Trixie held on to the door handle and yelled loudly whenever there was a pedestrian in sight. Katya kept telling her to relax, that everything was going to be alright. She trusted the other drivers to move out of the way. They were the police after all.

They reached the victim’s apartment building after a few minutes, minutes that were enough to make Trixie grateful to still be alive, and made their way up in the elevator. Katya was chatting her ear off, explaining something about the history of the building, but all Trixie could feel was her warmth tickling her naked arm. They should have changed before leaving the precinct.

Pushing the police tape aside, Katya pressed the key into the knob and let them in. The entire place smelled like bleach, making her nose scrunch up in disgust. Forensics had taken care of cleaning all the blood out, taken the necessary evidence, and left all other belongings intact. It was sad, really. Katya felt sorry for the girl. Her mind had already come up with a whole life story for her. She had come from a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. Her hopes of becoming a movie star stuffed into a single suitcase as she stepped down from the bus. Only to have her dreams crushed by the bills that kept coming and coming and she was unable to pay. That was when an answer came.

“And you gathered all of that…” Trixie’s voice took her out of her imaginary world. “Just by looking at her shit? Damn, you are good.”

Katya hadn’t even realize she was saying it out loud. She was simply trying to connect with the space, with the victim. She could feel embarrassed that her thinking process had been discovered, but Trixie didn’t judge her. She actually went along with it.

“She was pretty, she was young, she could get paid for it. It was easy, so she did it.”

With her bottom lip pressed between her teeth, trying not to smile like an idiot, Katya nodded effusively to Trixie’s words.

“It worked just fine,” Katya added. “Until he came along.”

Trixie’s face seemed to soften. She moved closer to Katya and placed a hand on her shoulder. “We are gonna catch him. We will.”

There was no way for either of the two to know that for sure. Katya had been so close before and he managed to slip away right in front of her eyes. She couldn’t agree with Trixie, she couldn’t feel the confidence she was exuding. So she simply nodded and tapped her hand slightly. The tingling on her skin was burning, causing her to shrug her shoulder and make Trixie’s hand fall awkwardly to her side.

“Okay!” Katya clapped her hands, moving on from the uncomfortable moment. “Let’s play this out. She walked in.” Her hand pointed towards the door. “Was she alone or with him?”

Her question came out more like a trivia. One that Trixie happily accepted, walking to the entrance and analyzing the space. In the wall next to her, there was a small dent. She touched the loose drywall with her finger and looked around for a source. She found it right away.

“He pushed her inside. The door banged against the wall. Here.” Opening the door completely, she could tell the scrape was a perfect match for the knob.

“You are so fucking smart, you know that?”

Trixie simply shrugged at her comment, but the blush on her cheeks didn’t go unnoticed.

“So he attacked her by the door,” Katya continued. “Maybe fought her, but ended up dragging her and sitting her on the dinner table.” She looked around, the whole set had been taken to the lab. She bent her knees and tapped her thighs. “Come on. I’ll be the chair.”

The laugh coming from Trixie was loud and filled with surprise. “I am not going to sit on you.”

Katya stood up straight with a roll of her eyes. “Fine. You’ll be the chair then.”

“Why does anybody have to be a chair?” Trixie’s voice was light, filled with amusement. “Can’t we just use that one?” She pointed across the room, where a perfectly functioning chair sat by the window.

Katya’s mouth opened in surprise. “You want to disturb a crime scene? What are you, five?”

Before they knew it, they were both laughing. Katya couldn’t remember the last time she had so much fun with a case. She knew there was nothing funny about the young woman whose life they were invading, whose death was the reason they were there. Nonetheless, there was happiness filling her lungs and making it easier for her to breathe. She knew it was because of Trixie. Katya had a feeling that she had finally found someone that understood her sense of humor. It was refreshing, it was liberating.

“It’s here!”

The loud scream forced Katya to land back in the reality of the situation. She moved next to Trixie, who was kneeling down behind the couch. As much as she stretched her arm, she couldn’t reach the piece of paper they were there to find.

Katya easily slid underneath the furniture, grabbing the blue card with her glove covered fingers.

“How did it even get there?” Trixie asked as she helped Katya to her feet.

Blood had been cleaned, but the outline of the puddle was still visible. Katya put the new evidence down where they had imagined it. The stains on the card complemented the broken line on the floor. It was a perfect match.

“Maybe he kicked it with his feet on the way out?” Katya tried to reason, but everything was still very unclear.

They evaluated the card together. It had the outline of a rose on the front and nothing else. There was no name, no address, no phone number; nothing but the delicate lines forming the intricate design.

“Do you know what this is?”

Katya shook her head to answer Trixie’s question. “No, but I know who might.” She thought about the possibilities before turning back to Trixie. “I need to make a few phone calls first but… what are you doing tomorrow night?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows

“Catching a bastard?” Trixie offered with a smile.

A smile that Katya could only return, the same smile that had her repeating Trixie’s words in a sing-song voice.

“We are catching a bastard.”

End Notes:

Thank you so much for reading, please, do let me know what you think. You can also find me on all social media as DenDenMonMon. Come say hi and lets talk fics! -Monkey.

#rpdr fanfiction #trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #brooklyn 99 au #lesbian au #laws of motion #dendenmonmon #submission

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henrik-von-schneeplestein · 5 years

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Hewwo. You mentioned liking certain albums and songs for the jse egos and ships, what about for the Sander's sides? 👀 Are there any songs you like for certain ships you like? ❣️

HFJDHGJG YEPPP! Not quite as many, just bc I’m new to the fandom but I definitely have thoughts!

Before y’all who are annoyed with me ranting about Taylor jump ship:

-”Pioneer” by The Band Perry is SUCH a good Roman song omg just the softest song about the creative spirit & bravery

-”Lovefool” by the Cardigans is... Deceit’s karaoke song. I have no rationale or defense for this statement whatsoever it just came up on shuffle the other day and I for some reason could picture him singing it perfectly and now I can’t let it go. Roman’s karaoke song is probably like “Any Man of Mine” by Shania Twain. Idk what the other sides’ go-to karaoke songs are but PLEASE lmk what y’all think bc I wanna know

Anyway Taylor time. People w/ bad taste in music you’re free to go now. Have a nice night and please don’t unfollow me

Roman is both the side I think would most be a fan on Taylor and also who has the most Taylor songs that remind me of him.

“White Horse” is definitely a Roman song. Like just change the gender (from ‘princess’ to ‘prince’) and it fits perfectly - a “dreamer” who has the beautiful, romantic fantasies they believe in challenged and emerges stronger but still believing in all those wonderful things... catch me crying

“Starlight” is the other song that has strong Roman vibes to me again bc of the ‘dream impossible dreams’ thing & another ref to a prince (and a ‘duchess’ ((duke)) but it def feels more roman than remus to me). Could definitely be a prinxiety song given the second verse: He said, “look at you, worrying too much about things you can’t change. You’ll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way.” He was trying to skip rocks on the ocean, saying to me, “don’t you see the starlight? Don’t you dream impossible things?”

Honestly the whole Red album has Roman vibes to me which makes sense assuming his color is red for the same reason she chose that title: bc it symbolizes passion. It really specifically reminds me of him in the ‘Moving On’ videos - him having a hard time letting go of a relationship but ultimately realizing it must be done strongly reminded me of “Red” (the song), “I Almost Do,” and “All Too Well”

LOVES “Wonderland” bc it’s gay uhhh Disney references no but he’d be all over that ‘too in love to think straight’ pun.... and the sheer DRAMA of writing your ex’s fucking TUMBLR URL into a song

“Love Story” and “Today Was a Fairytale” need I say more

Virgil is definitely AT LEAST a Speak Now stan - some of you are too young to remember it and some of you are still too salty to acknowledge it but from like 2008-2011 especially there was the Emo Swiftie phenomenon where a bunch of us very edgy emo kids who liked Panic! & MCR were also Taylor fans. Like she wasn’t considered emo at all but she had the same lyricism & theatricality, and the rampant slutshaming didn’t really start until 2012 so it wasn’t nearly as uncool to like her. So yeah Virgil’s been a secret passenger on the Taylor train for a while

He’s SUPER unwilling to admit it at first but as soon as Roman figures it out they bond & talk about their fav songs

emo boy is most definitely a “Haunted” stan

All I WANT is Virgil in the famous purple Speak Now tour dress and if I had a shred of artistic talent him in that dress under the glowing tree would be the first thing I drew

“Out of the Woods” is a Virgil song - Taylor literally said that the main feeling she was trying to capture is anxiety (x). I would also like to see Virgil in the OOTW music video. Give my baby some WOLVES.

“The Archer” is very literally about anxiety & imposter syndrome I don’t think I need to defend that being a Virgil song

“Afterglow” and “Delicate” belong on any ship playlist involving Virgil

Someone sing “Innocent” to this boy immediately

My favorite Virgil song actually isn’t “The Archer” even though that’s the most obvious - I think “Daylight” is the best one. He’s wounded the good & he’s trusted the wicked y’all!!! But it’s brighter now!!!! I love him!!!!!

With Deceit I see the obvious comparison to “Look What You Made Me Do” and it works pretty well but I think the best Deceit song is def “I Did Something Bad” - ‘for every lie I tell them they tell me three’ ‘this is how the world works; you gotta leave before you get left.’ Also my position just in general is that IDSB is the Distinguished Gay Villain Song & LWYMMD is the Disaster Gay Villain Song.

That said, the only reason Deceit’s never done the traditional Rise Into Frame is to keep me specifically from making a joke about Karyn rising out of the stage during LWYMMD (x) - it’s true my cousin’s best friend’s uncle was an extra in the Sanders Sides he played Roman’s sword

Deceit’s real name is Karyn I cracked it y’all

Also it makes me really excited that the LWYMMD tour outfit is kinda similar to Deceit’s. Something about having the initials TS just makes you go ‘snake time’ and put on a black cape/shirt/jacket thing with yellow/gold accents I guess

“End Game” is a Remus/Deceit song - ‘you like the bad ones, too’ = they’re both dark sides, “you’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks so here’s the truth from my red lips” = Deceit

“New Romantics” is just like ‘let’s lie our way through society’ so

Remus really reminds me of the swift fandom itself and idk what else to say about that bc if you’ve never been in that fandom I don’t know how to explain it to you and if you’ve been in that fandom for even 5 minutes you don’t need me to explain it to you

ME! is such a Remus song!! ‘I know that I’m a handful, baby, UH! I know I never think before I jump’ & ‘I would never bore you baby;’ also ‘like a rainbow with all of the colors’ reminds me of Remus saying ‘if you want the spectrum A-Z then you’ll need a little help from ME!” AND the song tends to get stuck in your head (or it does for me anyway) - kind of Remus’s M.O.

We already know he likes “Shake It Off” lol

Those of y’all who are horny for Remus and I know you’re out there.... “False God” is the song for you

could also be Remus/Deceit - Remus does use Deceit as the serpent in the Garden of Eden after all

Patton is just all the soft love songs lbr. “Stay Stay Stay,” “Paper Rings,” “Our Song,”etc. Also “Never Grow Up” and “Fifteen” and bc he’s nostalgic but also a father w/ good advice.

OK before I do Logan songs I just gotta tell you I was listening to “Tim McGraw” recently and my mind went “he said the way my blue eyes shined put those Georgia stars to shame that night; I said ‘FALSEHOOD’” but anyway

“New Year’s Day” - the references to books/pages fits and also the sort of comforting vibe that Logan can have; it’s a more realistic view of love about how there’s no way to know for sure what’s going to happen but knowing that you’re in it even for the worst

“I Think He Knows” belongs on the playlist for any ship involving Logan

He’d love “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” but when she’s like ‘where are the wise men?’ he’d be like ‘I’m right here beech’

And with that, I think I need to be done for now lol. Thank you so much for asking & letting me dump all this here. I love you!!!!

#asks #anon #long post

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