#also i took my sleep meds before I started writing and something I wake up thinking 'wtf did i do' but i don't think this will be like that

[phantomoftheorpheum]

concerning Hetty

I know Hetty isn't really an aspect of the show I have addressed before, largely because I've been focused on Jack & Belle and Jack & Fagin, but I did want to share a thought. Obviously it is heavily implied that Hetty is in love with Jack (which he does not seem to even notice, much less reciprocate), and as sad as that is for her character (she's just like a genuinely good person who has done nothing wrong, just not been the right person at the right time), I think there is one particular phrasing in all of this that has kept me from feeling too crushed for her.

When she talks to Jack about love, she tells him, "You've never really loved anyone, have you? You peel the skin off your heart and it always hurts, no matter what you do," and the implication of this is very much, imo, that Hetty has loved (romantically) before Jack, and not only does she have the capacity to love again after him, she already knows this about herself, too. Jack being someone Hetty falls in love with, but not her first love, and very easily not her last, is a comfort, imo. She obviously isn't at peace with her feelings for Jack yet, but she absolutely feels like a character that can and will get over him, and that makes me feel happy for her, because not everyone is like that.

Some people really never do get over their first love, but I believe Hetty already has long before she met Jack, and I believe she absolutely will do so again with him as well, that one day she will look back at her love for Jack as a distant memory of her youth, nothing less, nothing more. That's how I choose to interpret her words, and since we're unlikely to ever get any concrete confirmation on this particular topic, that's how I'm going to continue to look at her character- someone strong enough and kind enough to have several beautiful loves pass through her life and still be open to loving again.

[endo-bunny]

Sit Down Now and Rest

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Description: You had anxiety and depression, and Tony and Bruce were more than happy with getting you anxiety meds the moment that you asked. When you stop taking your meds, your mental health plummets and spirals as well as your physical health, and everyone notices. Don't worry though, they're there for you.

Pairing: (Platonic) Avengers x Teen!Reader

Type: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Depression, anxiety, sickness, fainting, dizziness, taking meds(both medicated and just vitamins/iron supplements), dehydration, insomnia, depressive and hurtful thoughts, reader doesn't talk very much in this, nicknames(Kiddo, Kid, Hun)

Word Count: 1,627

Note: I may or may not have written this with too much of myself being present… But it's fine! I also wrote this at like 2 in the morning so it's kinda rough but I just needed to get this typed out so here ya go! Also, the characters might be kinda ooc because I haven't watched any marvel movies in a little while but I've been hyper focused on fics with them lately so yea. And I am working on my tlou and tech fics, it's just hard to find the motivation to write them, but don't worry, I'm working on em.

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You were quick to notice that you stopped taking your meds. You knew that they helped you, but you couldn't get yourself to start the habit of taking them again. You wanted to, most definitely, but you couldn't. Every day was the same. Wake up, look at your meds, contemplate taking them, saying you'll take them later, go train, eat, and then not take them.

You also stopped taking them at night too. You had even set alarms so that you'd remember to take them, but it didn't help at all. Natasha was the first to notice that something was up, being the closest one with you. When she realized that something wasn't quite right, she made sure to keep a close eye on you. She was quick to pick up how dizzy you looked when you'd get up, sometimes not even being able to stay standing before you crumbled back onto the couch. You'd always play it off as if you just lost your footing but she and everyone else knew that that wasn't the case.

One morning you had gotten up much later than you had recently been getting up. When you checked the time, it was around two in the afternoon. You got up and went to the kitchen, feeling extremely hungry after forgetting, and also just not wanting dinner the night prior. When you arrived in the kitchen, Tony was there. He had kind of taken up the father role in your life.

The moment he saw that you had finally arose, he was quick to make a snarky comment in good fun, “Ah! The beast has finally awoken from their slumber, now off they go to find their beauty.”

You only roll your eyes, ignoring him. You felt exhausted, even though you got close to ten hours of sleep seeing as you fell asleep around 4 in the morning. You couldn't find anything easy to fix or that looked appetizing in the fridge or pantry so you just opted for a bottle of water that you would only take a sip or two of then leave with your other five almost full water bottles on your nightstand.

Before you could go back to the confines of your room, Tony had to ask you a question, “ Hey kiddo, did you take your meds?”

The question caught you off guard, not expecting him to ask seeing as he hasn't asked in a real long time.

“Oh yea! I, um, took them earlier but fell back asleep. Yea, that's what I did!”

You try to make it seem like you weren't lying through your teeth, but weren't very successful because of how exhausted you were. However, before Tony could confront you, you book it to your room. You hide there for the rest of the day, not coming out for Dinner. Steve had come by to tell you that dinner was ready but you told him that you weren't very hungry as you just kept your

on the book that you had your nose in. You kept your light on all night, not feeling tired.

The next morning, Nat knocked on your door around eight, coming to get you so that you could train with her. When she opened your door, she saw you laying on your back staring up at the ceiling. You looked exhausted and had dark circles under your eyes. When Bat opened the door, you flung up in surprise. You hadn't heard her knocking so you weren't expecting for the door to randomly open. You couldn't tell who it was at first because your vision went fuzzy black as your body tried to accommodate the sudden movement that you caused. Nat waited for you to acknowledge her.

When you did after a couple seconds, you looked over at the time, confused. It had just been two the last time you looked at the clock. How could it be eight all of the sudden? You were brought out of your thoughts by Natasha trying to talk to you. You zoned back in, giving her a questioning look.

“I said, are you ok? You look exhausted Hun. I came by to get ya to come train but it looks like you need to rest for a couple days.”

“Oh! No, I'm fine. Just give me a couple minutes to get ready and I'll be down and we can get to work in no time!”

She gave you a skeptical look but nodded, closing your door behind her.

When you got down to the training room, Bucky and Steve were there with Natasha. They smiled upon seeing you walk in. However, Bucky and Steve's bright smiles dropped upon looking at your figure. You were slouched, tired eyes not fully open and your eye bags were extremely dark.

Bucky was the first to point it out, “Hey Kid, you ok? You aren't looking too good.”

You only shrugged, your body aching and your throat feeling scratchy and sore for some reason.

As you're sparring with Natasha, you continuously have to stop the match because you go into coughing fits. As finish with your last coughing fit you go back to Natasha, but she's packing her stuff up.

“Wait, where are you going?” You're voice comes rather harsh and rude as you ask the red head.

“I think you should rest for the rest of the day Hun. I'll come check on you in a little while. But go take your meds and also some cough syrup and eat something.”

You didn't say anything as you grabbed your stuff and walked back to your room. This was stupid. It was just a little cold. You can still fight. You need to train. Deep down though you knew you needed to listen to her and do as she said. In the end, you don't. You go back to your room, take a sip or two of water, get a small snack and then sit down in the living room with a book.

You try to read it, but you can't stay focused for long enough to. Your mind is spiraling and racing. You kept replaying how training went. You were so pathetic. And rude. How could you be so rude? Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You slam the book down onto the sofa, huffing.

You hadn't noticed that some of the others had joined you in the living room. They look up at you, surprised. They weren't used to seeing you like this. You tried to get up quickly, wanting to get away from this embarrassing situation.

The moment you get up, the world goes black, buzzing and ringing is the only thing you can hear as you collapse. You feel something picking you up and setting you down on the couch. You blink your eyes a couple times, slowly feeling sensation being restored in your body. You look around you and see that Bruce is coming over with a damp cloth and water. Nat has your head resting in her lap and Tony has your hand in his. They all look worried as they stare down at you. You hear gasped as Steve and Bucky walk in.

Questions are being thrown at you, too fast for you to comprehend. You instinctively put your hands on your ears, feeling overwhelmed. They all quiet down upon seeing this. Tony is the one to ask the questions from then on.

“Hey, it's ok. We're sorry, didn't mean to overwhelm ya like that. Can ya sit up?”

You nodded, feeling embarrassed now. Tony nodded and Nat helped you sit up, allowing you to lean against her.

“Ok, drink some water, you're ok,” Tony hands you the water that Bruce had brought over as Bruce is wiping your face with the cold damp cloth.

“Ya feeling better?”

“Ya, I'm fine.”

“Have you been taking your meds, kid?”Tony doesn't hold back, knowing what it looks like when you don't take the meds that have been helping you produce what your body needs.

You sheepishly look down at your hands that are fidgeting in your lap. You inhale sharply before shaking your head no.

They all sigh, Natasha being the one to talk this time, “Why haven't you been taking your meds, Hun?”

“I-I just don't want to… I don't like the feeling.”

They looked at each other, wondering what to say. As they look at each other, you go to stand up, but they make sure that you don't get up.

“Sit down now and rest,” Bucky's voice comes from behind you, his hands still on your shoulders.

“I'm sorry…” Your voice comes out in a whisper.

“You're forgiven kiddo, but ya gotta start taking your meds again.” Steve comes over and sits on the other side of you as he speaks.

“I know.”

“How bout I take my medication with ya? God knows that I haven't been taking it as much as I should be,” Tony chuckles as he tries to negotiate with you.

You didn't know if it would actually help you but you were open to the idea.

“Good, drink some more water. Now what do you want to watch? Hm? TV's all yours,” Tony stood up, giving you the TV remote as everyone decided to sit down on the couch.

You picked your comfort movie as you snuggled up with Steve and Nat. Tony had gotten you some actual food, and by the time the movie was over, you had drank all the water, ate all the food, fell asleep, and almost everyone else had fallen asleep as well. You felt safe with the people that cared about you all around you. You knew that this would be a journey, but you also knew that you weren't alone.

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Tag list: @fakegingerrights @macchiato-dreaming22 @silnebula

[del-thetiredwriter]

Ok but what if in the “do you love me” series, Aegon sought the help of a sorceress to “heal his wife?”

Read these before you read: Do you love me, say you love me

Firstly thank you for your request. Please feel free to write your opinions .I really enjoyed while writing it. İt isn’t exactly what you requested but I hope you like it. It’s about what happens after sorcerers “heals his wife”

Warning: disturbing themes, drugging etc. English is my second language

You woke up with the sunlight coming through the window. “Your husband Aegon” was hugging you tightly. You tried to wake him up but he playfully pulled you towards him and kissed him. After breakfast together, your husband reluctantly went to the small council meeting. You spent time in the library until tea time. Then dinner. Finally, a romantic hot night and the day is over again.

It was like this every day for about three weeks. Such a perfect life…it's like a dream.

Three weeks ago when you woke up you found yourself in an unfamiliar room with people you didn't know. Then a silver-haired man cheerfully hugged you. You couldn't understand what was going on. You pushed the man. You couldn't remember where you were, who this man was, who the people around you were, who you were... You couldn't remember anything. You were panicked, you were afraid.

But fortunately the silver-haired man who had been by your side ever since you awoke - your husband Aegon - explained you everything.

Your name was Y/n Velaryon. You were married to your husband, Aegon Targaryen, the king of Westeros. There was an accident a few months ago. Although he did not explain what the accident was and how it happened, you fell into a deep sleep after the accident and did not wake up in any way. But miraculously, you woke up.

You couldn't believe Aegon at first, and he might have taken advantage of your amnesia to lie to you but as the days passed, you began to trust him and believe him.

Your days were peaceful. You had a loving husband and he would do anything for you. However, while you were walking around the court , the gaze of the servants and guards bothered you. They looked as if they had seen the dead. Especially when was Queen Alicent starting to turn a blind eye to you and repent. According to Aegon you were a loved person why did they treat you that way?

Again after the usual breakfast, Aegon whined and forced his way to the small council meeting. You made your way to the library. While examining the books on the shelves,A book hidden behind other books caught your attention in the bottom corner of the shelf. The book was about Targaryen history. While turning the pages, a piece of paper fell off. You took the paper and began to read it. Something was written in Valyrian. You started reading the paper.

If the person reading this is Y/N Velaryon, read this carefully. This is written by me Y/N Velaryon. It is true that we/you are Aegon's spouse but everything you know now is a lie. I/you actually committed suicide, so I died, we died, you died. That's the reason for the scar on your neck. As for Aegon, I don't know how he did it, but he resurrected us. That's why everyone in the court looks at you as if they've seen you dead because you, me, we are dead. Also, this is not our first awakening since the so-called 'accident'. You just don't remember. The reason you lost your memory is because of the medicines given to you at tea time. Don't drink. No matter what run away to a place where we can't find Aegon's body.

You couldn't believe what you read. It was hastily written. You wanted to tear the paper but what if it's true then the way people look at you, that scar on your neck. Besides, Aegon never explained to you what the accident was. You placed the paper between the book and hid the book in to its old place.

It wouldn't hurt to try. You secretly stopped taking your meds. Your memory was slowly coming back. To escape, you had to play your cards well. You shouldn't have cracked anything.

You had a romantic dinner with Aegon the night you planned to escape. You got him really drunk and then one hot night. Aegon fell asleep from exhaustion. You took one last look at Aegon before leaving . And you left the room silently.

According to your plan, there was a small hole in one of the castle walls. A hole big enough for you to pass through. Just as you were about to run away, a hand touched your shoulder .

“What are you doing here."

You turned your back. You saw Aegon. No way he was supposed to be asleep.

"N-no you , it can't-"

“My sweet wife. Did you think I didn't notice? This time, I thought we could continue our perfect life as before, even though your memory came back, but you let me down.”

“Why did you resurrect me! If I wanted to live, I would live! What you have done is a great sin. Gods-"

Aegon forced you into his arms. You tried to resist, but he was stronger than you.

You went back to your room and Aegon threw you on the bed. He took a bottle from the drawer and then forced you to drink it.

"Open your mouth"

"What will you do to me! What's in this bottle?

Aegon looked at you and smiled.

“I will just make sure everything is as it should be”

And after swallowing the liquid in the bottle, everything went black.

You woke up. A silver-haired man hugged you.

"You're finally awake, my love."

“My love? Who are you?"

“I am your husband, Aegon."

[rand0mfangurlstuff]

I'll Look After You - Bucky x Y/N

This is my first ever fanfic. I dont know why I wrote this, I never ever thought I'd actually write a fic or post it. But this just wouldnt leave my head. I hope you enjoy and please give me feedback!

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It had been a tough misson. They lost a lot of men. Bucky had gotten a bad concussion and broke two ribs. Despite Buckys protests that her was fine, he was put straight to the infirmary. He was told he would have to stay there for at least a week if not longer. At this news Bucky almost had a fit. He wanted to go back up in the air as soon as possible and 'show those Nazi pigs who's boss'. His protests went on deaf ears.

She noticed on the first night that he was awake much later than the other patients. She turned out the lights and told him to rest, to which he just nodded. At 4am when the other nurse came to take over; she noticed he was still awake. Surely soon sleep would take over him.

Bucky couldnt sleep. No, Bucky refused to sleep. With sleep came nightmares. Nightmares of torn off legs and burnt faces. Planes exploding right infront of his eyes. The sound of his men screaming in pain and fear. No. Bucky would not sleep.

The following night she was greeted to the same thing. All the men fast asleep and Major John Egan wide awake. Though it was clear by his sunken in eyes he was exhausted. He tried his best to hide his frequent yawns behind the book he was reading, but she could see and hear them clearly. 'Major Egan, you should be asleep by now.' 'I'm not tired.' he said as he fought back another yawn. 'You're exhausted. And your body needs sleep to recover. You'll never be cleared to get back in that plane if you dont sleep.' Noticing the stern look on her face Bucky decided to feign sleep so she would leave him alone. 'Fine, I'll go to sleep. Goodnight.' 'Goodnight Major.'

As much as he tried not to, Bucky did fall asleep as soon as he closed his eyes. Around forty minutes passed, forty minutes of blissful slumber. Cradled among the warm blankets and soft pillows of the infirmay; his body was totally serene. His mind however, was in turmoil. As the nightmares came once again, Bucky started to cry out in his sleep. 'Curt! Curt! Engine 3! Buck...' She heard him straight away, he wasnt the first pilot to have these types of dreams. His body thrashed against the bed. 'Major Egan, its okay, Major wake up.'

He shot upright in his bed with a scream. He wasnt flying the misson. He was in bed, with two thin arms wrapped around his torso. He looked at her then, really looked at her. She was scared. A shocked and timid look on her face. Was she scared of him? 'I'm sorry, I dont know what-' 'You had a nightmare. It's okay. It's normal.' Normal. Bucky did not feel normal. He had always been able to keep his cool. Not feel a thing. Now all he could do was feel. Feel the ache in his soul and the ache in his ribs. 'I'm sorry Nurse...' 'Y/N' she said with a warm smile. She was sitting on the edge of his bed. He hadnt seen her this up close before. She had long hair, it looked soft. Her eyes were kind, and her gentle smile made him feel something he wasnt sure of. 'Y/N' he played with her name on his tongue, he liked the way it sounded. It suited her perfectly.

He tried to sit up against the headboard, make himself look less vulnerable. As he moved he gasped at the stabbing pain in his ribs. 'God damn!' 'Easy there Major, let me help.' She adjusted his pillows and helped prop him up. She was so close he could smell her perfume. Warm, vanilla, like a freshly baked cookie. But also spicy. He felt intoxicated. He missed the last thing she said to him he was in such a trance. 'I'm sorry what did you say?' With concern all over her pretty face, she said 'I'm just going to get you some more pain meds okay?' she turned and walked to the medicine cabinet.

He took a deep breath and tried to calm his heart rate. He wasnt sure if it was going so fast because of the nightmare, or her. She returned a moment later with two painkillers and a glass of water. 'Here you go Major.' He took the pills from her delicate hand. 'Bucky. You can call me Bucky.' He swallowed the pills. 'Mm Bucky. Cool nickname.' His heart skipped a beat hearing his name from her mouth. And she thought it was cool? He felt like a fourteen year old again. 'You should go back to sleep Major. You need your rest.' Bucky knew there wasnt a hope in hell of him going back to sleep, but he smiled and nodded so to not dissapoint her.

An hour later she was doing her rounds, checking on each patient; most of who were sleeping. Except one. Major John 'Bucky' Egan. 'Bucky, why arent you sleeping?' He lifted the book in his hands 'It's just this book Y/N, I gotta know how it ends!' She smirked, 'I saw you finish that book yesterday.' His face grew red. He'd been caught. But he couldnt possibly humiliate himself by admitting he was afraid of going to sleep for fear of his own mind.

Y/N could see it. Just as she'd seen it plenty times before. Though this case was definetly the worst. She didnt know much about Bucky, but the way the other nurses talked about his charm and swagger made her this he was not the type of man who would willingly admit his fear. She wouldnt force him to either. She grabbed the chair next to his bed and pulled it closer. She picke up the book from his lap and opened it on the first page and started reading. 'In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind...' 'What are you doing?' The confusion on Buckys face would have made a great picture. 'You've read this book twice in two days? I have to see what all the fuss is about.' She continued to read out loud in a soft melodic voice. A voice so soothing and gentle it sent Bucky straight to sleep. Even after he nodded off Y/N kept reading. Hoping that her voice could reach him in his dreams and keep him away from the darkness that lurked in his mind.

The next morning, Bucky awoke to a sight so rare, so unthinkable, he had to blink several times to make sure it was real. Y/N was still by his side, asleep on the small wooden chair, her cardigan draped over her. She had stayed, stayed by his side all night long. It was at this moment Bucky realised this was the first night in a long time he'd slept the whole night through without a single nightmare. Because she was there to protect him.

[snowbaamgyu]

Helloooooo!!! So I don’t know if you already saw it but there was a MOA talking about how she unexpectedly met TXT at the airport and everyone was so nice and the members were so handsome she was super excited blah blah blah.. but she mentioned that while soobin, taehyun, yeonjun and huening had brought something to eat, beomgyu wasn't eating anything, soooo maybe you could write something about it like he caught a really bad flu the day before the trip or something and he was feeling dizzy and had a fever and throwing up a lot on the plane. Also if you want you can write the POV of the MOA that saw them 🫢 like “I was constantly watching them and noticed how soobin was taking beomgyu’s temperature and Kai was rubbing his stomach” idk something like that.. I just saw it and I immediately thought about all this, what do you think? 😊

Here it is!! I'm sorry it took so long, I hope you like it. (sorry I didn't come up with a good title)[also sorry that I didn't write for the "throwing up on the plane part" I finished writing it and didn't realize you wanted that 😭]

Up and down

"Hyung, do we have some medicine?"

Beomgyu asked Soobin as he approached the kitchen cabinet that contained medicines and vitamins, though he didn't know what medicine in specific he was searching.

"We do have, but what's wrong? what kind of medicine do you need?" Soobin was having some midday snack, they were all preparing their luggage for their trip the next day, it was still pretty early but better that than rush everything.

"Dunno. I don't feel well" Beomgyu was pouting, telling the truth. He felt off but didn't exactly know what's going on with his body.

"Maybe you're just tired or nervous, go lay down for a while and when lunch's ready I'll wake you, okay?" Soobin patted his head as he left his plate on the sink. Beomgyu did as told, he was indeed exhausted but he didn't do anything to feel like that at that hour of the morning.

He felt sleep slowly getting into him, and within a few minutes he was back in dreamland.

But those dreams were wrong, some bizarre images went through his head, everything felt too real but at the same time didn't make any sense; it was all a mixture of reality and dreams (or nightmares at that point), it was getting hard to breathe, everything felt so suffocating and the next second— a hand was shaking him awake.

"Beomgyu-ah, hey, what's wrong?" Soobin again, Beomgyu's chest hurt as he tried to breathe in order to calm himself down, his stomach was making some weird noises but not out of hunger, nausea was making its way too, bile rising through his throat but quickly being swallowed back down, a burning feeling as if he was being cooked alive, and– the final touch of that damn discomfort cocktail was: a dizzying headache.

Now he did know what was wrong and in what specific order.

"Gyu, breath with me please? it was just a bad dream, everything's fine, at count of three you'll follow my breathing okay? one... two... three... again, one... two... three..." they repeated that until Beomgyu could breathe normally again, he looked at Soobin with teary eyes.

"Hyung, I really don't feel good" Beomgyu drew his knees to his chest and rested his head there, Soobin just hummed. "I know, I think you have a fever, are you hurting somewhere else?"

Beomgyu nodded, "my head hurts, I'm dizzy and my stomach feels off" Soobin winced at that, they had a trip scheduled for tomorrow, they've known about it for a month now, but unfortunately Beomgyu fell sick right the day before it.

"You have to take some meds, but you need to eat at least something, and then tomorrow you can sleep on the plane too, you just have to make it through the check in at the airport" Beomgyu nodded a bit, just wanting to take something to feel better.

"Come and eat at least a little bit alright? then you can rest all day" it was true, Beomgyu had his luggage ready when he started noticing the odd feeling.

They both made their way to the kitchen where the rest of the boys were already sat and waiting for the two of them to start serving the food.

"Are you okay Beoms?" Yeonjun noticed his pale complexion and how quiet he was, of course he wasn't that happy tiny ball full of energy all the time, but he wasn't that quiet either. Said boy shook his head "no" and everyone looked at him.

"He's coming down with something so he's feeling a bit sick, hopefully it isn't that bad" Soobin was the one to answer, giving Beomgyu a pat on his back.

They continued their meal while Beomgyu slowly stopped eating, going even more pale, sweat gathering on his forehead. With a shaky hand clasped on his mouth he muttered a low "sorry" when he got up from the table and sprinted to the bathroom, locking the door and kneeling in front of the toilet, the food he just tried to keep down came back up, obviously totally undigested, burning his throat came another wave, for the third one it came with a choke and a coughing attack.

"Gyu, everything okay?" Yeonjun knocked on the door while everyone else cleaned up the table.

The younger responded with a weak "No..." and brought up more vomit.

"Soobin went to get you some medicine, Kai got your bed ready with a trashcan near, when you're done go to your room okay? Just if you need me I'll stay right here outside." And Yeonjun did what he said, standing there for almost half an hour when he heard the toilet finally being flushed and the faucet being turned on, then Beomgyu opened the door and looked even worse than before, Yeonjun was the one who caught him in his arms when the sick boy tried to let go of the grasp he had on the door.

"Hey, let's get you to bed alright? You can sleep this off the whole afternoon and night, tomorrow you'll be feeling better" the older reassured him, keeping an arm around his shoulder, if said arm was in touch with his sweaty frame then Yeonjun didn't mind.

When Beomgyu laid back down he immediately curled up into a ball, the fever messing with his body temperature, he was almost melting down but inside he felt all cold.

"Soobin got you some medicine, take this pill and try to sleep okay?" Yeonjun also didn't mind combing his fingers through his sweaty hair and helping Beomgyu with the glass of water when his shaky hands almost dropped it.

Yeonjun left his side when he was sure the younger was asleep, the rest of the group gathered in the living room.

"What do we do? He can't just skip this schedule, is so important!" Taehyun said with a worried tone, "I know, but we can't force him and the company also can't force him, he needs rest, not getting into a plane" Soobin was the one to answer, "I'll call our manager to see if we can do something, but it's most likely he'll have to come with us, get some IV on the hotel and rest a bit there".

The leader put the speaker on when their manager answered, they explained the situation as best as they could, the manager was also concerned but as they expected, Beomgyu had to go with them.

"Tomorrow's morning I'll get him to the clinic real quick, make him get some fluids and meds, then I'll drop him at your dorm so the car can get you boys to the airport, that's all I can do".

Okay, at least that calmed them down a bit, so they settled with that.

Beomgyu slept until midnight, when he woke up to drink some water, he still felt bad but not as bad as he did earlier, the headache was still there, tha nausea was gone but his stomach still hurt a bit, not to mention his fever went down for the time being. Maybe, just maybe, he could power through their trip.

A couple hours later his manager was shaking him awake, making Beomgyu once again notice his discomfort in full force. "Kiddo, wake up we have to go to get you checked up", Beomgyu opened one eye and everything began spinning again when he stood up, his manager helping him to put on some shoes, a hoodie, a mask, and hop into the car, not even bothering to change his pajamas or wash his face, feeling too sick for all that.

"How are you holding up?" as the ride went on, the manager asked after watching Beomgyu through the rear mirror, the boy looking pale, sweaty, with his eyes closed but after he opened at the sound of the other's voice he noticed his eyes were unfocused and hazy, probably the sleep or a new fever.

"Not about to die but hoping I do so, everything aches and spins" Beomgyu answered as he closed his eyes once again, some minutes later they arrived to the clinic and Beomgyu had to wake up again. He couldn't remember anything or focus, only answering when the doctor listed some possible symptoms he may have been experiencing and when he guessed right he just said a low "yes" and dissociated once again.

The doctor told him to lay down for a physical exam, aka touching his abdomen to rule out something that might need a surgery like appendicitis, sure after the ride Beomgyu was feeling a bit nauseated but after the doctor pressed certain spot he jumped with a gag, titling his head to the side and dry heaving, the doctor quickly put a container under his chin and another retch just brought up the water he had in the middle of the night.

After the incident Beomgyu fell asleep when he laid back down, the doctor explaining to the manager that he needed rest, it wasn't that big of a deal but after a bag of IV he could go on the trip.

A couple of hours later Beomgyu woke up, a nurse was putting a band aid where the needle was on his hand, his manager noticing he was awake went to his side and put a hand on his hair as if he were a puppy "How are you feeling Beomgyu-ah?" the latter just blinked twice and answered "Better than last night, but still not that good" his manager winced a bit, "You're still up for the trip? We can put up a statement saying that you're sick and couldn't make it" Beomgyu just shook his head no, he wanted to go, he really wanted to, so he would do anything in order for him to be with his members.

When he returned to the dorms everyone was waiting in the living room with their luggage, immediately they all looked up to him and smiled seeing him there, still a bit pale but he seemed well.

"How are you feeling Gyu? Are you feeling better?" Soobin asked as he reached for him, hugging him lightly. "Yes, I'm feeling better now, I slept well at the clinic" everyone smiled a bit, relieved that Beomgyu was doing okay.

"Alright, Beomgyu go grab your luggage and everyone please go ahead to the parking lot, the van is there."

They were halfway to the airport when Beomgyu started feeling a bit queasy again, luckily the van stopped at a gas station where the boys got food and water, not being able to stay there for long they took their food containers to the van and planned to eat at the airport, Beomgyu just grabbed a bottle of water and took small sips and deep breaths, not wanting to be so focused on the smell of food that lingered in the air, he was so relieved when they stopped at the airport. He was wearing a mask, Soobin and Taehyun too, the only ones without a mask were Yeonjun and Kai, so no one suspected Beomgyu was sick.

They moved without problems, not any crazy fans were there, they passed through the check in and went to the seats as they waited for their flight to call them, everyone started eating but Beomgyu just looked away, Kai placed a hand on his stomach and started rubbing it lightly, Beomgyu closed his eyes. Soobin reached for his forehead when he finished his meal, Beomgyu's forehead was a bit warm but not at an alarming rate. He didn't notice a moa who happened to be there as well, noticing that Beomgyu was the only one who wasn't eating and was rubbing his stomach, said moa connected the dots and aside from being excited to be able to see them so close, was also kinda worried about Beomgyu, but if he was sick then Hybe would put up a statement right?

Some minutes passed and they got up looking where was their plane, they didn't film a vlog this time, Beomgyu was thankful for that, he was ready to sleep through all the flight and hoped he felt better when they arrived.

The ride from the airport to their hotel was horrible, Beomgyu was still queasy but as they arrived to their hotel he went to sleep some more, and also Soobin went to his room to give him some medicines and explaining quickly their functions. Their first day there was for rest so the members would take turns to hang out with Beomgyu and take care of him when he felt nauseous or had to throw up, Yeonjun had to rub his back, Taehyun had to call the hotel cleaning service once when he couldn't make it, Kai rubbed his tummy as Beomgy had his head on the maknae's shoulder, Soobin once again making sure he took all his medicines on time and they also got him to eat something light, happy when his stomach didn't react in a bad way.

The next day Beomgyu was feeling better, the queasiness went away and his fever was gone as well, he took it with calm on the rehearsals for the concert but at the time the actual concert started he felt completely fine and gave an amazing performance as if nothing had happened, all with the help of his members.

[cluelesswithadashofsmartass]

My newest project: These Bitches Need Therapy: Westeros Edition. Specifically the Dance of Dragons era.

A/N-This is meant for a female reader, but make the names whatever you want. You’re also 18 because its hotd and shit happens. The italics are you thinking. I own nothing.

CW: swearing, mentions of blood, death, and everything else that comes with medieval life

Part 1: Why me?!

“That was a fucking trip,” you say, turning off the newest episode of House of the Dragon.

If Viserys was my dad, I would’ve ripped him a new one. Who would allow their laboring wife to be cut open with no pain meds? All of is was for nothing and Aemma and their son died anyway.

And he marries his daughter’s best friend? This bitch is doing himself no favors, especially if he and Alicent have any sons. Rhaenyra’s claim to the Iron Throne would be challenged and if I remember the book correctly, would spark a bloody civil war.

I blame Jaehaerys for choosing Viserys over Rhaenys and I blame Otto Hightower for being a scheming, power hungry schlub. That being said, the episode was amazing. I can’t wait for the next one.

You get ready for the night and go to sleep with dragons and high born idiots filling your dreams.

————————–———————————————

the universe said: And I took that personally.

———————————————————————

You wake up sitting on the ground against the wall of a building, likely a butcher’s due to the smell of blood and meat coming from it. Two men in gold cloaks and armor walk past you and send a confused and disdainful glance your way.

Gold cloaks? Armor? Wait a minute.

You stand up and lean against the butcher’s, taking in your surroundings. People and horse drawn carts were moving at varying speeds down the thin pathways and dirt roads in front of you. They were in clothes that you had only seen in period shows and movies. Speaking of period shows, the smell was certainly accurate. The scent of excrement, both human and animal, was strong and nearly made you gag.

You look down and see that your dressed in the clothes you had been wearing before you sat down to watch House of the Dragon. Wait…

I’m dreaming. I have to be dreaming. There is no way that I woke up in Westeros and in Flea Botttom no less. I’m definitely going to die, if not from disease or starvation or murder then from the fucking civil war that these aristocratic idiots will start in the future!

You reach into your jeans and find a piece of paper crumpled up in your front right pocket. It reads:

‘Dear (Y/N) (L/N),

You may be wondering why you are here. It is because you have knowledge that will be useful in these coming years. The future you have seen will come to fruition and many will die unless you do something. This was not done by accident. You have been given great power that can make or break kings and queens. Look in the bag next to you and find the small leather journal. Within it contains intimate knowledge and instructions that will help you in your assignment. The bag itself is magic and contains objects that may be useful to you depending on the situation you find yourself in. I realize that this is the last place that you want to be, but you are the only one who can help these people. They need an outside and frankly, modern perspective, especially the royal family. I will talk to you through the journal everyday to assist you. Just write the questions you have down at night in the back of the journal and they will be answered when you wake up.

Best of luck,

Lucia, Mistress of Fate’

What the actual fuck?

You notice the brown messenger bag. Fuming, you reach inside and find the leather journal along with a black hooded cloak, a ballpoint pen, a drawstring coin purse, and a sheathed knife. You open the journal and flip to the front page.

‘Make your way to the Red Keep and keep a low profile.’

This is so stupid! Why should I have to risk my life and conform to these inbred fucks? I should be in my bed, in my house, and in my time period. I shouldn’t be here because some lady wants to play God and throw me into this medieval hellscape. But, I’m going to die anyway so I might as well make my time interesting.

You pull on the cloak and draw up the hood. Better for these people not to see the sweatshirt, tank top, jeans, and sneaker combo right away. You sling the messenger bag over your shoulder and make your way over to the line in front of a food stall. The woman at the counter was selling skewers of meat, peppers, and onions. Food was food, so you get out the coin purse. You glance up and see a man looking at you in an unidentifiable, yet unsettling way. You take out the knife and attach the sheath to the loops of your jeans.

It’s your turn after five people. The woman looks confused at your clothes and opens her mouth to question who the hell you were, but shuts up at the copper coin you place on the counter of her stall and hands you a skewer. You silently nod your thanks and walk across the dirt road to a bench outside of what looks like a bakery, being mindful of the horse carts.

Biting into a pepper, you open the journal to the first page again. It says the same thing. You might as well get to walking. The Red Keep is a long way from where you are now.

————————baby timeskip————————

You’re panting by the time you get the to the Sept. You lean back on the outside of the Sept, grateful for the cool marble against your flushed, sweaty skin.

You look back up and see the Red Keep in the distance. With a huff, you push off the wall and stand upright to start walking again.

And not even a minute into the long walk to the keep, a slender body collides into you. Both you of you fall back in opposite directions; you into a pile of cabbage and the stranger, a girl after you looked closely, into the dirt road. A horse was galloping fast toward her, its hooves in the perfect position to cave in her skull. The rider wasn’t paying attention as he was more focused on trying to bring his mount back under control.

Welp. I guess I can cross ‘save someone’ off on my bucket list.

You scramble towards the girl and yank her off the ground by the forearms; apparently you pulled too hard since she cried out in pain. Her cry alerted some guards in the near vicinity. The guards had a sigil emblazoned on their armor, some kind of tower. However, you didn’t stop to dwell on it as you were busy trying to get the fuck away from them.

It didn’t take them long to catch up with you. They seized your elbows and hauled you the rest of the way to the Red Keep, likely to the dungeons for seemingly attacking a highborn girl.

So much for keeping a low profile.

——————time skip because I’m lazy————

You get tossed into a dark cell; your belongings had been taken from you, save for the journal. Minutes blur together as you wondered if this would be the way you died. At least your sweatshirt provides some warmth.

All of a sudden, the cell door bursts in and an armored guard stands in the doorway holding a flickering torch. You raise a hand to shield your eyes against the flames.

“On ya feet, woman. Can’t ‘ave ya late to ya own trial,” he said with a rotted sneer.

He fastened chains akin to handcuffs to your wrists and pulled you up to stand by your shoulder. He then grabs the chain connecting the chains and pulls you along behind him up the stairs.

While walking, you think back to the sigil on the guards’ armor.

A tower. Tower. Tower… A high tower? Yes, Hightower! Wait…a Hightower? Oh fuck me…

Your fears were confirmed when the guard left you in front of the man himself. Lord Otto of House Hightower, Hand of the King to King Viserys of House Targaryen, King of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, looked down on you with a well deserved glower from a cushioned stool. The king himself sat on the Iron Throne with a similar look.

And the girl you pulled out of the road is standing a little ways from them with some other ladies, Queen Aemma and Princess Rhaenyra among them, with an uncertain expression on her face. A girl you now recognize as Lady Alicent of House Hightower, daughter of the Hand, and future Queen Consort to King Viserys.

Lucia, if I lose my fucking head, I will find you and kill you, slowly.

A/N- If this gets 80+ notes, I’ll write a second part. Also, my inbox is open. Ask me things!

[rosenallies]

Can you write a sashnarcia prompt but Marcia under anaesthetic after getting her wisdom teeth out

I think they're funny

I had my wisdom teeth out when I was 15 and the second I got out of surgery my mom started trying to fuck with me but I wasn’t loopy at all I was just angry and in pain <3 but I think those fics are funny too <3

——

“Sasha, sit down,” Anetra urged gently, standing up and placing a gentle hand on her partner’s shoulder, eyes soft as she gazed into them, “I know you’re nervous, but Marcia will be fine. It’s just their wisdom teeth, nothing serious.”

Sasha seemed frazzled, an anxious look in her eye that hardly ever appeared. She huffed out a breath and sat, holding onto Anetra’s hand like a lifeline. “I know, it’s just-“

“No,” Anetra stopped her firmly, “whatever it is, that’s not going to happen, I promise.”

“Okay,” Sasha nodded, though not convinced fully.

Anetra patted her hand encouragingly. “Just relax, they should be done soon.”

‘Soon’ turned out to be painstakingly slow despite only about half an hour passing before one of the nurses popped her head out, calling Sasha and Anetra back to come collect Marcia.

“Their surgery went very well, no issues. They’re just going to be a bit groggy and loopy for a bit but eventually they’ll fall asleep and in the evening they can have their first dose of pain killers.”

Doing what she does best, Sasha took in all the information and absorbed it so she knew exactly what to do and what to expect, when to give them their meds and whatnot.

“Alright, they’re just in here,” the nurse said, leading them into one of the recovery rooms down the hall.

Sat in a wheelchair, drooling with cotton stuffed in their mouth sat Marcia, smiling dopily despite everything.

“Sasha, Netra!” They called happily, reaching for them.

Sasha hurried to their side, gently pushing them back in the chair. “Stay here, baby, no walking.”

Marcia giggled, poking her in the chest with their index finger. “No walking for you.”

Chuckling, Sasha shook her head. “Okay, okay, let’s get you to the car. Neech, can you stay behind and collect their discharge paperwork?”

“Got it, I’ll meet you guys by the car,” Anetra replied.

Marcia whined, the attention taken off of them for just a second mildly distressing. “Where are you gonna take me?”

“We’re gonna go home, baby, get you nice and cozy in bed, okay?”

“That sounds good,” Marcia attempted to purr seductively, but it only came out muffled and drooly.

“To sleep, Marc, to sleep,” Sasha corrected them with a chuckle, “no shenanigans today. The nurse said you’d be asleep soon anyway.”

“That’s not fair!”

“What’s not fair?” Anetra asked as she joined them, just in time to help Sasha wrangle them into the car.

“Nothing, let’s just get them into the car. You’re gonna sit in the back with them?”

“Yeah,” Anetra agreed, opening up the back door.

Luckily, even though they whined, Marcia made getting into the car easy on them, helping as much as they could.

“Okay, ready?” Sasha breathed as she got into the driver’s seat, “everybody’s comfy back there?”

“I’m hungry,” she heard Marcia complain.

“Marcia, you have cotton shoved into your mouth,” Anetra pointed out nonchalantly.

“Yes, but I’m hungry, they didn’t let me eat this morning.”

They whimpered like they were about to cry and it tugged on Sasha’s heartstrings, but she also knew it was the drugs making Marcia emotional and not in a clear state of mind. “I know, darling, but you don’t wanna hurt your mouth, okay? When you wake up later this evening I’ll make sure you have something you can eat safely, okay?”

“Wake up? I’m not even tired!”

Anetra could tell Sasha was getting stressed, the anxiety during the surgery bleeding into the present, worrying that something could go wrong or that Marcia would get too upset over something. “Sash, why don’t you put on some music, hmm? I think Marcia would like that.”

“Oh yes!” Marcia clapped, “can we please listen to Ariana?”

Sasha and Anetra made eye contact in the rear view, Sasha silently thanking her. “Of course, I think that’s a great idea.”

The rest of the drive home went smoothly, Marcia singing along to their favorite artist until the last few minutes where they began to get sleepy, leaning against Anetra as they mumbled the songs until they were asleep just as Sasha pulled up to their driveway.

“They’re asleep,” Anetra whispered, trying not to wake them.

“Okay, good. Can you carry them in? I’ll go run and get the bed ready.”

Anetra agreed, carefully gathering them in her arms and carrying them bridal style inside the house, the dog yapping at her heels as they entered, though Marcia didn’t stir, just mumbled nonsense in their sleep.

In the bedroom, Sasha fluffed up some pillows, everything ready just as Anetra brought them in. She set them down and pulled a blanket up to their chest, cooing as they snuggled against the soft fabric.

“Alright,” Sasha breathed, “we did it, they’re home safe. Hopefully they’ll sleep for a while so by the time they’re awake it’ll be time for them to take the pain meds the doctor prescribed.”

“Sash,” Anetra cooed, rubbing the tension from her shoulders, “relax. Let’s just lay down with them, okay? You did good, we both did.”

“Okay,” Sasha replied with a sigh, settling in the bed beside Marcia, Anetra curling up on her other side, “thanks for keeping me sane,” she whispered, squeezing her hand.

Anetra chuckled, kissing her shoulder. “Is now a good time to mention I need my wisdom teeth out too?”

“Oh my god,” Sasha rolled her eyes affectionately, “you better be easier than this one.”

“Oh, I’ll be worse, definitely worse.”

[sodafrog13]

random swans hcs under the cut ✌🏼

- alex and ash are identical twins and were both amab; alex found out she was trans and transitioned while they were still in high school (i think she actually just kept the name bc she liked it but even if she didn't, i'm thinking her deadname would probably also have started with an A)

- speaking of, both of them played football while they were in high school. alex was more of the star player of the two of them; ash was almost exclusively a bench warmer. their uniforms in current day consist of parts of their old football uniforms

- even though tony is their unofficial ""leader"", the whole idea for the vigilante copycat stuff was the davis'. not rlly much basis for this one admittedly but i think it makes sense, considering they're the most politically active (relatively speaking) of the fans

- and the reason why that is is that they had family who were living in san francisco when it got bombed. again, not much basis but it does make sense to me considering they're motivated enough to be picketing outside the courthouse during jacket's trial. i specifically also have a kind-of oc that's their little cousin who lives in SF; i shifted around some things to feature her in UDC, my beardjacket au fic, but she's existed in my mind even before writing that chapter and i'd like to flesh her out more one day

- i think they're both bi (w pref for the opposite gender) and that ash is ace. that's just on me :-)

- they make fun of each other for being gay All The Time. wlw/mlm hostility.

- ash moved out at some point and lives with his (boy)friend, jack. he still frequents the house somewhat often to hang out with alex, since they're so close, but he very rarely sleeps there anymore

- alex is a little touchy about the whole thing, but she gets it. she just wasn't ever thinking about the possibility of either of them moving out since they've basically been together they're whole lives so she's just been moody about it ever since ash brought it up to her. she's a lot better abt it now, though

- ash is a lot more organized than alex is. he was the only reason the house was ever clean; since he's left, alex really only cleans up if things are getting Direly trashy

- alex LOVES horror movies. ash thinks they're ok. they watch a bunch of them together and alex spends a lot of pocket money on VHS tapes of her favorites

- ash is more of a video game guy. they had a console in the house but he took it when he moved out; alex really only ever used it if ash was playing something multiplayer anyways so she didn't consider it a huge loss

- that said, they both love listening to music. they had a bit of an argument over who was taking what when ash moved out (since their collection was joint owned) and alex ended up keeping the records while ash took the cassettes since ash is the one who actually has a car

- both of them can drive but alex honestly doesn't need a car; she'd take the bus to work most days anyways since ash started his day earlier than she did and would be out the door before she even woke up

- the both have insomnia but alex's is decidedly worse. for some reason, the meds that ash uses don't rlly work on her so she ends up staying up and waking up late. she falls asleep at her job often

- alex works a boring office job. she tolerates it; it's relatively easy and pays fine and she learned some basic computer knowledge from ash so she's basically set on being there for however long she can.

- she also does music on the side, specifically electronic stuff. not ever a thing she'd consider for a job but one of her favorite past times is smoking and jamming out on her synth. ash partakes in these jam sessions sometimes; part of me wants to say he plays a little electric guitar (and that he'd probably love guitar hero)

- ash works in IT. his computer knowledge is almost entirely self taught (esp considering he and alex's would be college years were spent serving in hawai'i) but he's damn good at what he does so it was pretty easy for him to get hired

- their relationship with their folks is... fraught. the whole reason they joined the army was to get away from them, particularly because their mom had always been rather nasty to alex because she favored ash and ash was always really annoyed by that. they thought is was the best years of their lives thus far. ever since coming back home to pick up their stuff when they got back from deployment, they cut contact with them (but not the rest of their family. that said, they refuse to go to any family functions if they kno their parents are gonna be there)

- alex is pretty butch and dislikes wearing fem clothing. ash is honestly kind of more wishy washy about the whole thing; he'd be open to wearing slightly more fem stuff like skirts if he wasn't so put off by the idea of being judged for doing so. most ""fem"" he'll get is painting his nails black every so often

- idk something in my heart just tells me they'd like karaoke. they'd both belt that shit out, no holds barred (but also fans karaoke night just sounds like such a fun idea. just all of them getting wasted and singing silly shit)

- they're just each other's #besties y'k? swans stick together their whole lives and all

[tngrace]

Cry, Baby

Story inspired by real life events and this song, “Cry Baby” by Mitchell Tenpenny.

I have to thank my discord babes so much for listening to me the last couple of days, and for reading over this last night when I wrote it like a madwoman that just had to get it out. There might be more stories for Spicy & Roo one day in the future; I truly loved writing them & I hope yall enjoy it. 

Discord babes: @callsign-dragonbaron @mrsjaderogers @bayisdying @biehnybaby @askmarinaandothers @mischief-siriusly-managed @cycbaby @callsignscupcake @breadsquash

Grace “Spicy” Bradshaw stared at the shower floor as tears cascaded down her cheeks. She was using the water to muffle the sounds of her sobs so they didn’t wake her husband just yet. Bradley had to be up in an hour to go to class, and she wanted to let him sleep as long as possible. She’d been so hopeful that today would bring the news they’d been hoping for, but instead it just brought the same disappointment the last year and a half has brought. She felt like she was letting Bradley down tremendously, and truthfully she wanted to tell him he deserved better.  

She should’ve known he’d come find her when she was up earlier than expected, but it still surprised her when the door opened. “Spice? Babe? You’re up early?”

She quickly wipes her eyes and clears her throat; “Yea, yea I woke up early. Decided to just go ahead and get ready. Didn’t mean to get you up so early.”

“Mind if I join?”

She sucks in a deep breath and holds it; she turns her face into the spray despite knowing her eyes will be red and puffy anyways. “Yea, come on in.”

Bradley gets in behind her and pulls her back into his chest. His chin rests on top of her head as he holds her, letting the warm spray wash over them. “Grace,” he whispers. He only uses her real name when it’s something serious, always using her nickname or some version of it. Slider had given her the nickname based on the food and spice level of it when she took over the grill at the Hard Deck ten years ago.

She sinks into his hold, biting her lip hard enough to almost draw blood. “Talk to me baby.” She shakes her head no as more tears fall down her cheeks.

“I …. Can’t. I…. I just knew this time was going to be different.”

Bradley’s arms tighten around her; he knows right then that despite thinking she’d finally gotten pregnant, she had in fact not. “We’ll just keep trying.”

“Bradley…. You….”

“Don’t say it Grace. Don’t say I deserve better.” He finally spins her, but her eyes drop to his chest and his dog tags unable to meet his eyes. He gently tips her chin up, and her eyes close, tears sneaking out around her lids. He cradles her face between both of his large hands, his thumbs gently wiping the tears away.

“Open your beautiful eyes, Spicy.”

Her breath shudders out, but her eyes slowly open to meet the chocolate brown ones she loves so much. “I love you, and only you. I want you, and only you. If this is all we have, just me and you, we will be ok. But we also still have options. We’re going to try those meds and if that doesn’t work, then we look at other possibilities. I know for a fact if we went to Dad, Uncle Ice, any of the many Uncles and Aunts in our family, we could have the help to make any option possible. This sucks, I know; I know you’re feeling crushed, and today is going to be rough and full of lots of tears. But you, my dear beautiful girl, are all I want, so don’t tell me to find anyone else.”

Spicy collapses against his chest and just cries as he holds her as tight as possible, letting the water keep them warm. Bradley holds her tight, murmuring over and over how much he loves her, how much he’s there for her, how much she can cry to him anytime. Once the water starts cooling off, he washes her hair and runs some conditioner through it before quickly scrubbing his own while she stays wrapped around him. Once they’re both clean, he wraps a towel around his waist and goes to the bedroom to get dressed, letting her have the bathroom to do what she needs. She takes a few minutes to try and compose herself, but it doesn’t work. The tears don’t seem to want to stop. She slips into a pair of shorts and one of Bradley’s t-shirts she’d grabbed on her way to the bathroom that morning.

He’s sitting on the side of the bed waiting on her. She carefully settles in his lap, facing him, with her legs around his waist. She rests her head under his chin, her fingers tangling in his dog tags. “You’re going to make the best Dad one day, and I wish I could make that happen for you, more than anything,” she whispers.

His arms rub up and down her back as he holds her close. “We’re going to get that one day, I promise you, Spicy girl.”

They stayed cuddled like that until Bradley has to get ready for class. He tucks Spicy into bed, “Text me or call me if you need anything today. And I’m sure Pen can manage just fine if you don’t want to go in tonight.”

“Don’t worry; I’ll be ok. I’m not going to cancel on her last minute. I’ll be fine once I’m distracted.”

“Promise me if you’re not, you’ll stay here or come get me.”

She gives him a soft smile and a kiss. “I promise Roo. Now go before you’re late.”

Bradley reluctantly leaves; he wants to text his dad or his uncles to go check on her later, but he also knows what it’s meant to her to keep this a secret to keep the pressure lower on them. He’s glad he doesn’t have a hop that day because his head stays with his girl all day.

Spicy spends the morning in bed, and heads into the Hard Deck around lunch. Penny can tell something is wrong, but she also doesn’t push. She texts Bradley to see what’s going on, but all he’ll tell her is to keep an eye on her. Spicy spends the majority of the day in the kitchen, and when Bradley arrives after class, waving to his uncles and dad in the back corner, he heads straight into the kitchen to check on her.

“Roo,” she smiles, leaning up for a kiss. The kitchen hasn’t been too busy that day, and Bradley can tell she’d deep cleaned everything to keep her mind busy.

“Ready for a break? Dad, Ice, Sli, Chip, Wolf and Wood have the back corner claimed.”

“Roo, I…”

“Penny says you’ve been in here all day, and the kitchen is sparkling.” Spicy sighs as she leans into Roo’s embrace.

“You’re right I’ve been hiding. But I’ve been thinking. Your insurance covered the tests and meds, and I know it’s been a lot on you not sharing with everyone.”

“Grace..”

“No, let me finish.” At Bradley’s nod she continues. “We’ve gotten lucky not having to pay for what we’ve done so far, but if this doesn’t work, we could be forking out more money than we need to on our own. We don’t know how much longer we’re going to be on this journey. You’re a very open person with your family, and I love that. And I know I’ve had you keeping this a secret, and I know there are times you’ve wished you could talk to someone about it. So maybe we should tell them.”

Bradley wraps her in his arms. “You’re just doing this for me, and I know it.”

“I do everything for you Bradley Nicholas. I’d give you the whole world if I could.”

“I’d do the same for you Grace Michelle.” Spicy leans up and kisses Bradley soundly. She lets him take her apron off and hang it up, before telling her assistant that she was done for the night. Spicy wrapped her hand in his, and let him pull her to the back corner where their family was waiting.

Spicy takes the open seat beside Mav, Bradley’s dad instantly pulling her into a side hug, while Bradley pulls up a stool on her other side. As per usual they start off by complimenting the snacks she’d sent their way, before they observe them both. Bradley is telling them about his class that day, but it’s Slider who picks up on Spicy’s quietness. It’s almost like she was still the shy girl they’d met when she’d moved there, instead of the confident outgoing girl she’d become in her ten years in San Diego. He shoots a look at Ice and then Mav before turning his attention back to her.

“B, you’re rambling,” Ice finally says, all of them catching the soft sigh he lets out.

“Yea… Yea I am.” He laces his hand with Spicy’s, giving it a squeeze, before he meets six pairs of worried eyes.

“I’ve had him keeping a secret from yall,” Spicy says, before Bradley can say anything.

“Grace…”

“No B, it’s true.” She finally looks around the table. “We’ve been trying for a baby for a year and a half now, and I didn’t want him to tell anyone because I knew it wouldn’t be easy for us to get pregnant because of me. I didn’t want anyone to get their hopes up just to be crushed over and over.”

She feels Mav’s arm sling across her shoulder and squeeze her tight to his side. He’s been like a dad to her ever since she started dating Roo and realized he was essentially Bradley’s dad too. “Oh kiddo,” he sighs, placing a kiss on her head. Bradley doesn’t let go of her hand, but doesn’t miss how she practically melts into the hug.

She takes another steadying breath and pulls herself upright once more. “My doctor ran some tests about a couple of weeks ago, and in two days I’m going to be starting meds. If after three months they haven’t helped, then we have to either look at other options or give up. This… This morning was rough and there were a lot of tears, but I’ve spent the majority of the afternoon hiding in the kitchen and cleaning and thinking. I know it’s been hard on B keeping this a secret from yall and everyone basically, so I decided we needed to confess.”

In the next instant she is pulled up off the stool into a crushing group hug from their family. Bradley is wrapped in one next, before everyone settles back into their seats. Spicy laughs as she wipes tears off her cheeks, laying her head on Bradley’s shoulder, giving his hand a squeeze. “We’re here for anything, we mean anything, you two might need. No matter how big or small.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Bradley smiles over Spicy’s head. He knew they’d be understanding, but he also understood Spicy’s fears. They spend the next hour explaining her health woes and what all her doctor has recommended. When Spicy starts falling asleep, worn out from all her cleaning and emotional turmoil, Bradley pulls her into his lap.

“Get her home son. We can talk more when you’re both ready,”  Mav promises.

“Thanks Dad.” Bradley scoops her up carefully, Ice following him to help with doors, promising to bring her car home for them. Spicy never stirs, and once home, Bradley tucks her into bed.

Three months later

Spicy is staring at the sink, not moving, not blinking, not even really breathing. The knock on the door startles her enough to cause her jump and squeak. “Spicy? You ok love?”

She opens the door, and Bradley instantly assumes she’s started, late, again. “Oh baby, we can…” but that’s as far as he gets before she’s jumping up and kissing him. He instantly catches her, her legs wrapping around his waist.

“Spice?”

“Roo it finally worked,” she whispers, staring into those chocolate eyes. “It worked! Congratulations Daddy.”

“You’re serious?”

She points at the sink, where five positive pregnancy tests lay. “I’ve done one every morning for the last five days because I didn’t believe them. We’re finally having a baby.”

A week later when they finally have an ultrasound to confirm, they learn that one of the major side effects from the meds happened; they’re having twins. Two and half months pass before Spicy is comfortable telling everyone. Mav and all the uncles knew because Bradley had been way too excited not to tell them, but they’d all kept the secret like she’d asked. Now that she’s showing and well into her second trimester, the ‘86 flyboys plan a huge party at the Hard Deck to celebrate. Spicy and Roo are showered in so much love and excitement, that all the pain of trying slowly melts away. She can’t wait to see Bradley as a daddy and all their family being wrapped around the babies’ fingers.

[knotmagickstudios]

ADHD/Autism Diagnosis as an adult, part 5

Part 4 can be found here.

Appointment number 3 with the neuropsych was super exciting for me because it was medication day!

I normally don't talk about the specifics of my meds, but in this case it's important. I'm not advocating for any specific medication, or for medication in general, but this is my experience. If you need meds to keep your brain from exploding, please take meds. They really do help, even though they can be scary to contemplate!

So, to recap: I went to my doctor for my extreme and long lasting fatigue, which has been causing things like brain fog, difficulty understanding/remembering instructions, short term memory loss, etc. Because I have both fatigue and insomnia, she suggested I get tested for ADHD.

The neuropsych diagnosed me with mild ADHD with very low dopamine, and autism. Because I was hesitant to start a new brain med with everything going on, we waited until appointment 3 of 4 do discuss medication. We did talk about options a little bit earlier on, and I explained why I was hesitant: I already take medication for anxiety/depression, so I want something that's going to play nice with those meds. Second, because of my sleep issues, I didn't want to start on a stimulant until my sleep was under control because I didn't want to mess things up further. He listened, understood, and agreed with my concerns, so we put medication on hold for the time being.

This process started on January 1. December 1, my energy levels just crashed and took my immune system with it. I had zero energy and got sick twice between Christmas and the first week of January. I put my writing and creative work on hiatus until further notice because I just had no energy and couldn't meet any kind of deadlines. All I wanted to do was sleep. I felt like trash.

Between appointments 2 and 3 I had a brainwave that made me feel like an absolute idiot: A big chunk of my sleep problems were caused by sensory issues. I made some changes to my bedding, night clothes, and general sleep set up, and it helped a lot. It's not perfect. I'm not where I want to be. But I feel a lot better and can do more than I could in December.

But back to the meds. Because I was feeling both desperate for relief and more stable than I was before, I felt ready to start a new medication. Essentially, there are 2 options for ADHD: Stimulants (like Ritalin) and "off label" meds. These off label meds are usually designed for depression, but because they increase dopamine levels they also help with ADHD, which is exacerbated by low dopamine. I'm already taking Lexapro, which increases serotonin levels. We didn't want to mess with the Lexapro since it's working, so he suggested adding Stelara, which is the med that plays nicest with Lexapro. I was still worried about things like mood swings or severe reactions that might impact my day job--I'm already having trouble with details, focus, etc, and didn't want them to get even worse.

We spent most of the 30 minute appointment going over the side effects, what to look out for, and how to manage them. Most of the side effects are things I'm either already experiencing due to my chronic illness. The main dangers to look out for were extreme jumps or drops in blood pressure. The rest of the side effects were typically temporary and are supposed to go away after a week or two. The medication itself could take a few days to a month to reach full effectiveness.

We decided the smartest course of action was to start me on a half dose (25mg) for 2 weeks, and then go up to the recommended 40mg at our next appointment.

So far I've been on this new med for about 4 days. The only side effect I've noticed is that it's even harder than usual to regulate my body temperature (I can go from freezing when I'm sitting still to being covered in sweat the instant I move), but that's the only side effect I seem to have. I can't judge my sleep too well because my cat has been an asshole for the last four nights and keeps waking me up for food at 4am, so it's hard to judge things like quality of sleep or fatigue levels.

I am open to adding a stimulant later on, but I want to get some other things evened out first since most of the people I know who have issues with ADHD meds have them with the stimulants. Also, right now meds like Ritalin are hard to get, so I really don't need the headache of withdrawal symptoms or trying to find a pharmacy with it in stock. Hopefully in a few months my sleep will be better, my fatigue will improve, and the inventory issues will clear up, and we can talk about it more then.

So that's where things are. I have 1 more regular appointment, and then we're going to schedule a follow up for some point in the future. I know I was super lucky to get a GP and a neuropsych who have been so great, and that isn't the experience of everyone in this boat. I hope that if you are considering or are trying to get a diagnosis, you get providers who have been as great as these two (trust me, I've dealt with some shit doctors in the past few months, including one who flat out refused to see me).

As always, I'm happy to answer any questions.

[thatonesystemig]

Ooo sad post Dustin's sad posting

Sometimes I wondered if my suicide attempts when I was like either 9, 14, 16, or any time after that actually worked and I'm just in hell now.

Surrounded by everything I could ever want, a loving family and husband, all I ever wanted since I was a little kid but forced to live through hell with chronic night terrors, somnophobia, trauma so bad it warrants having a cptsd diagnosis, and every fucking other mental health issue I have.

I'm halfway convinced one of my countless suicide attempts actually worked and I'm in hell. There's a lot of reasons I feel this way, like the above reason. But yeah.

To quote The Good Place: "This is the bad place" lmao

Also found it funny how out of the many, many times I've tried to kill myself none of the attempts were successful despite the fact that some of them were supposed to have a 100% success rate like. Multiple times I swallowed ALL of my psych meds, sometimes with sleeping meds first so I'd pass out before the other meds got into my system.

Looked it up and the meds and combinations I took were supposed to fucking kill me.

I ensured various times it would before I did it.

Yet somehow I'm fucking alive???? Just either waking up in bed or waking up in a hospital, high af for days before being sent to a psych ward for the 84828477273 time??? Shit don't add up.

They say I'm here for a reason. I chalk that reason up to having my husband and family, being here just to take care of them and love them while they do the same for me in return. Something I've ever wanted.

But shit ain't adding up. Idk. No normal person goes through the shit I have. Most people have normal, boring lives. But I could write a book about the things I've gone though. And when I tell people what I've gone through, they either don't believe me and want proof of shit I've gone through or feel so much pity they start treating me like I'm some fragile thing, something I absolutely fucking hate.

Sorry about this whole rant, I got to thinking about this after a friend wanted to know about some of the stuff I've gone through.

[takeeachdayonebookatatime]

Castle fanfiction

Why did you elbow me? 65

Under arrest 4

Castle: pov back at the loft Alexis and Pagie are watching a movie. When I ask Alexis if Jim is back she says he went to read a book in his room and Gram is not back yet. She also mentions Kate is taking a nap Lanie said something about Kate not feeling good.

Lanie: pov I grabbed the thermometer while Kate was sleeping and took her temperature. It is a little elevated. I had talked with her Dr. I set some stuff up in a chair near the bed. Castle sneaks in the room to check in on Kate. I ask him if he can pick up a few things at the store. Before he leaves he hands me some tylenol and a glass of water for Kate. I wake her up and get her to take the pills, she falls back asleep quickly.

Castle: pov I decided to start making dinner for everyone. I cut the vegetables up for soup and add the other stuff. Lanie said something about Kate not being very hungry at lunch. I poured some pedialyte in a cup for Kate. I made sure it had a lid. I set up a tray so she could eat in the bedroom.

Lanie: pov Castle says dinner is ready so I gently woke Kate up so she could eat some dinner. Thankfully the tylenol is keeping her fever down. I changed her into a no sleeve shirt so she is more comfortable. I could tell her throat is a little irritated and sore. The cold meds Castle got her should work. She only ate a little soup. Everyone else had already eaten the soup. Castle warmed up Kate stuffed animal she uses when she is sick. I put a movie on for Kate. Jim hung out in the room for a few minutes. We told Alexis and Paige to keep their distance. Kate is not feeling good. Same with Martha and Jim. Which did not work because Jim is talking to Kate.

Kate : pov Castle sat on the bed behind me and rubbed my back. It was getting closer to bedtime and he decided to sleep on the couch. That way Lanie can lay next to me and keep an eye on me.

Lanie: pov During the night Kate started coughing. I got up and grabbed the nebulizer and filled it with the medicine and put it on Kate's face. Like her, Dr suggested. I woke her up in the middle of the night for more tylenol and some cold meds she can take. Last night was ruff. In the morning I tried to get Kate to Drink a protein smoothie, the one the Dr recommended when she is not feeling good. Thankfully it stayed down, so did the pedialyte. I gave Kate her meds. Her cough sounded bad. It is time for her next nebulizer treatment. Castle says he will lay with her. Once the machine is on and filled, I put the mask on Kate's face. I made sure to warm up her stuffed animal a little.

Castle: pov I'm rubbing my fingers across Kate's back soothingly, her eyes are starting to close. Once she is asleep, I grab my phone and start writing.

Lanie: pov 30 minutes later and she is fast asleep. I tell Castle to take off her nebulizer mask. I checked on everyone else in the house to make sure they are okay and not sick. Me and Castle switch places so he can make lunch. I slowly woke her up and got her ready for a shower. Castle had already put the chair in the shower for her. I poured some strawberry 3 in 1 shampoo in my hand and washed her hair and body. Once she was dry and changed into some clean pj's I checked her vitals and gave her more meds. Since Jim wanted to eat in the room with her I decided to do her nebulizer treatment after lunch.

Kate: pov Castle made an amazing soup for lunch. He is writing in his office while he eats and Lanie is eating with us to keep an eye on me. Me and my dad talked about a whole bunch of stuff. I'm no longer feeling warm which I'm thankful for.

Jim: pov I poured her a big glass of pedialyte like Lanie told me to. After lunch, I sat on the bed next to Kate. Lanie set up Kate's nebulizer treatment and turned on the machine as soon as it started working. Kate laid her head on my chest. Lanie explained to me how to shut off the machine. Then she went to shower.

Castle: pov I went to check on Kate. She was asleep with her head resting on her dad's chest. He is watching something on TV. He mentioned she just finished her nebulizer treatment. Lanie told me the nebulizer treatments should help cut down on the time she is sick due to the cold. He eventually snuck out of her room to let her sleep. We have a monitor to watch her. 2 hours later and there is movement in the room. I decided to check on her. Kate says she just wants to read. In a 100 percent freak accident Kate got a paper cut from one of the pages. Now you would think nothing of this but your wrong Kate's cuts tend to bleed a lot. Thankfully Lanie came running in the room when I called her.

Lanie: pov with her luck the paper cut is bleeding a lot and getting everything dirty I managed to stop the bleeding and put a bandage on it. Alexis pops in the door saying she is heading out with friends and asks if everything is okay because that is a lot of blood. I tell Alexis not to worry it was just a paper cut. She says it's more like a crime scene. Martha then appears saying she is heading out. We then explain everything that just happened . To be continued. ….

[i-spaced-sorry]

Heart Rate

Connor Rhodes x Reader Requested: @kp9983 I was wondering if you’d write where reader works as a veterinary technician and passes out at work so shes brought into the ED and they page him down to check her out to make sure it’s not a heart issue (it can be something super simple) and when he’s listening to her heart it speeds up because he makes her nervous being so close cause he’s cute so he starts flirting with her?

Warning: hospital jargon 

Thank you for the request! I loved this idea and I hope I did it justice! This was also my first time writing flirting, so I hope it’s good!

It was never a struggle to get out of bed when the best boyfriend in the whole world, laid next to you! But for some reason today was extra difficult for Y/N. Chalking it up to just soreness from yoga from the night before, she finally lifted her body up and out from under the sheets. Sitting on her knees facing her pillow, she looked at the sleeping form next to her and smiled. ‘Today will be a good day’ you  thought to yourself and she finally got out of bed. 

Once in the bathroom, you pulled out some Motrin and popped a few tablets in. You then repeated the same mantra from earlier.

Getting ready for work was slow, for some reason everything ached and all you wanted to do was lie back down, but when you worked as a vet tech duty calls!

At work you saw your pet patients and loved every second of it. Your body still aches but how can you be in a sour mood when you're surrounded by animals all day. 

“Y/N, I’m going to order lunch from the Thai place that just opened up around the corner, want anything?” asked your fellow tech and best friend Andrea. 

Looking up from the desk, you smiled and responded, “I’m fine, I’m not really hungry, but thanks for the offer” 

“Okay,” replied Andrea as she grabbed her purse and headed towards the door. 

You waited til the door swung shut before pulling the drawer next to you open. You reached inside and grabbed the bottle of Motrin. You took two more tablets and then quickly threw the bottle back in the drawer and shut the drawer. 

Looking at the clock on the wall, it read 11:45am, ‘5 more hours Y/N. You got this! Today is going to be a good day’ you thought to yourself. 

At that moment the door swung open to reveal a female with her mountain cur feist dog.

Getting up to greet them, you all of a sudden felt a wave of dizziness wash over you and before you could utter the words, ‘good morning’ you hit your head on the desk and fell to the floor, unconscious. 

Waking up, you didn’t feel achy anymore and you felt yourself lean into the soft bed. ‘Did Andrea let you -’ 

Before you could finish your thought the curtain was pulled back and Dr. Ethan Choi was standing in front of you. 

“Y/N, glad to see you’ve regained consciousness. Do you remember what happened?” asked Choi.

“I was achy and then got dizzy, but I don’t remember passing out” you answered. 

As he began to check your vitals he spoke, “that’s okay, has this happened before?”

Stifling a laugh you respond, “What? Fainting? No”

Dr. Choi began to write something down on the tablet and then spoke to you, “You don’t have a concussion or anything, but I do want to get Connor down here to do an EKG to see if it had anything to do with your heart”

You nodded. You really didn’t think it was necessary for your boyfriend to have to look at your heart, but considering Connor was the top radiologist at Med, you weren’t complaining. 

“You sit tight,” stated Choi as he stepped out to call for Connor. 

“Today was supposed to be a good day” you whispered to yourself. 

“And it still will be,” exclaimed Connor as he pulled back the curtain and walked up next to you. 

“I don’t know why this is all necessary,” you pouted. 

Connor took his stethoscope and put it under your shirt. You felt your heart beating faster due to having your boyfriend's hand under your shirt. 

He stopped what he was doing and looked at you, “Y/N, I’m not going to be able to get an accurate read if your heart is beating faster than it was a few seconds ago” Connor stated. 

“It’s not my fault,” you shot back. 

Raising an eyebrow, Connor grinned, “Oh, so your telling me this raises your heart rate?” and he began to move his stethoscope around in circles under your shirt. 

Giggling, you stated, “Stop it Connor”

The two of you laughed for a good few minutes and then Connor got all professional again and stated, “I don’t hear anything, but I want to still do an EKG just to be on the safe side”

THANKS FOR READING! FEEL FREE TO REBLOG OR LIKE!

[lilacsnid]

『✔』 𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲: — 𝒏𝒆𝒘𝒕 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

In which way you are always putting others needs and happiness before you’re own. It’s slowly starting to take it’s toll on you & Newt notices this.

A/N: ask permission to use or re-post my work, please do not steal or plagiarize my writing x

©lilacsnid

— “HEY, there you are,” You hear a voice softly call behind you that you instantaneously recognized as Newt’s, “I was looking for you.”

Glancing over your shoulder, you find him standing inside the doorway, a jar of Gally’s moonshine in his hand. You force a quick smile before turning back around to face the cabinet, “Here I am.”

“Thought you might’ve been hanging out with Minho or Chuck,” Newt spoke as he started walking over to you, not stopping until he was standing right beside you.

He leaned against the wooden counter top, his back resting against the shelf as his body faced the opposite direction as yours. You could almost feel the heat radiating off his body, making you want to curl up in his arms, but you couldn’t. Shouldn’t, you thought; correcting yourself.

You simply shrug your shoulders in response, trying your best to ignore the painful throbbing in your temples as a result from the lack of sleep.

Newt knew straight away that something was wrong. Not only could he tell by how blunt you were being, but he also knew by observing the way you worked in The Glade. Always offering others your support on top of the medical assistance. You’d skip meals and he’d usually find you working late into the hours of the night in the Med-Jack hut to stay back with injured gladers, as well as stocking supplies. You were known to your fellow gladers as a good listener, always willing to try and brighten someone’s day whenever they were feeling down.

You had been doing it for so long, letting others rely on you, that you had forgotten to take care of yourself. Newt noticed this above all else. But he also knew that you cared deeply for all those around you, and would stop at nothing to put their needs before your own.

The sleep deprivation was slowly starting to make you irritable and lose focus. It wasn’t healthy.

You could feel his gaze on you, watching you as you rolled up bandages.

He looked down at your hands, spontaneously mustering up the courage to take your hand in one of his own. The sudden action made you gasp slightly and you were quick to stop what you were doing. The first thought that popped into Newt’s head was how cold your hand was against his.

He furrowed his eyebrows before speaking, “You don’t seem yourself. Talk to me, please?”

You found it difficult to respond to him as you felt his thumb start to rub small circles into the back of your palm, your voice getting caught in the back of your throat. You opened your mouth to talk several times, but nothing came out. For the first time tonight, you met his gentle brown eyes. The light from the bonfire outside dimly lit the hut into a deep yellow luminosity, making his pale skin look toned like honey, as well as his gorgeous blonde locks.  

A few short moments was all it took for the tears to start welling up in your eyes, and after blinking a couple times in attempt to stifle them, they started to stream down your rosy cheeks. Newt’s facial expression softened even more at the very sight. He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, his head tilting to the side ever so slightly as he watched you, his hand still holding your own. He set his half-empty jar of alcohol down, leaning off the counter to take a step closer to you.

“Love,” he cooed, his other hand reaching up to rest on your shoulder, “What’s the matter?”

He felt stupid for asking such a question when he already knew the answer. But he was curious about what you might say in response. Now, more than ever, he could tell how hard you were struggling to keep your puffy eyes open as the tears kept coming.

A defeated sigh left your lips, as you stared at the ground while taking your hand out of his grasp to assist the other in rubbing over your eyes with your knuckles, “I’m just so tired.”

That was all Newt needed to hear before he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as he cradled your body with the upmost care. You leaned up to brush your cheek against his before letting your body collapse into him, not really noticing how weak you were until now. You couldn’t contain the chocked sobs that started to overwhelm you. It broke Newt’s heart seeing you in such a state.

You wrapped your arms tighter around his lanky figure, absolutely loving the way he rubbed soothing circles into your back and the way he rested his head of top of yours as he rocked the two of you from side to side slowly. The warmth of his body enveloped you; he felt like home. 

“I know baby, I know,” Newt spoke in a hushed tone, trying to calm you down. However, he couldn’t help but freeze momentarily at the choice of pet name that had just slipped from his lips.

He pulled his head away, glancing down at you, instantly meeting your surprised glance, eyes still filled with tears.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t- I don’t know where that came from,” he stuttered helplessly, as he felt his cheeks heat up quickly in embarrassment, “It was uh, the first thing that popped into my head, I’m sorry I won’t-”

He stopped speaking as you started to shake your head in disagreement. You buried your head back into his chest, finding his scent addictive.

“I liked it,” You replied quietly, pursuing to grasp onto him tighter.

Newt breathed a sigh of relief in one short puff, placing his head back on top of yours. He couldn’t stop thinking about how cute you were; cuddled up into his chest, all shy and timid. 

He swayed the two of you from side to side once more, placing a kiss to the crown of your head, “Why don’t I take you to bed, yeah? You a need a break, you really need some sleep.”

He tilts his head back down to meet your gaze, before continuing, “Does that sound okay to you?”

You nod meekly against his chest and let your eyes flutter shut as you struggle to keep them open. You were grateful that Newt had found you when he did. He was the one you trusted the most to see you in your most vulnerable state.

                      ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Newt didn’t need to ask anymore questions. He picked up your frail body, making his way over to the Homestead.

He carefully walked up the stairs, and down to the end of the corridor to his room. Kicking the door open with his foot, he shuffled over to his bed, placing you down onto the sheets, being cautious not to trip. He retreated to go over and close his door, also walking over to the other side of the room to close the window. 

It was one of the colder nights in The Glade. You tried to hide the goosebumps starting to rise on your skin, but Newt had already seen them. You’re breath hitched as you watched him yank off his jumper, to which he proceeded to bend down in front of you and offer it to you. However, you shook your head at the sight of the newly exposed skin on his arms, “You’ll be cold.”

He placed the jumper in your lap, “I’ll be alright, anyway, looks like you need it more than me right now.”

You continued to eye the jumper, feeling slightly guilty. Newt rose to his feet, brushing off his pants and staring down at you with a smile.

“Y/N,” He laughed, lightly tapping you on the shoulder, “Come on, just put the bloody jumper on.”

Soon following his request, you tugged the white jumper over your body, fitting your arms through the sleeves. His smell that had grown accustomed to you filled your nostrils instantly. That musky boy smell, as well as grass and the scent of his deodorant.  

“Thank you,” You whispered, no longer trying to hide the fact that you were staring at him as he grabbed two more blankets from his small wooden dresser. 

He met your gaze once he turned back around. You noticed how his mouth fell agape as his eyes dragged over your figure, hunched over on the side of his bed. 

“It’s no problem,” He grinned before continuing, “It suits you more than it suits me.”

You returned the smile, breaking your gaze to take off your combat boots. As you bent down, you felt the same throbbing pain return in both of your temples. You squeezed your eyes shut for a mere second, trying your very best to ignore it. You grumbled in annoyance as your fingers worked to try and get your shoe laces untied. 

“Argh, for shuck sake!” You cursed, slamming you feet against the floor. You probably looked like a child throwing a tantrum, but at this point you couldn’t care less. You were exhausted and every muscle in your body was aching. The tears started streaming down your cheeks once again, making you even more irritated than what you already were. You weren’t usually like this, and everyone knew it. 

Newt crouched down at your feet, his hands going to the back of your calves, halting your movements completely, “Hey, darling. C’mon, stop.”

You hid you head in your hands, harsh sobs escaping your lips as Newt began to untie your laces and remove your boots in a gentle manner. Once he was done, he set your shoes down on the ground, placing a hand on one of your arms in order to comfort you from where he was still crouching down.  

His calm demeanor brought you back down to earth. There was something about him that made you feel warm inside. Something that drew you to him. 

“Time for bed I think,” Newt said wholeheartedly, gesturing you to lay down on the bed. 

                       ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You had passed out as soon as your head hit the pillow. You were unsure of how long exactly you had been asleep. 

Waking up unexpectedly during the middle of the night, you noticed the drop in temperature around you. Goosebumps littered your skin, and you felt yourself shivering. You turned over, in search for Newt. Butterflies erupted in your stomach when you found him laying next to you on his back. His half of the blankets that the two of you were sharing were pulled up to his chest. His head faced you, his eyes were closed and his chest rose and fell with each steady breath he took in. One of his arms was also folded behind his head as he rested. You noticed that Newt now wore another jumper, it was dark blue. His eyelashes brushed the tops of his cheeks. A smile made it’s way across your lips at the sight of the blonde. 

You didn’t want to wake him from his peaceful slumber, so instead you turned back over, facing away from him. Your arms reached to pull the blankets further up your torso and you clutched onto Newt’s jumper that you still wore. 

Absentmindedly, you leaned back further into Newt, your body craving the warmth of his own.  

To your despise, your teeth began chattering. You shook head as a way of trying to stifle it but it was no use. You pulled the blankets up to your chin and closed your eyes once more. Barely a few seconds later, you felt the bed shift beside you as Newt sat up on his elbows, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. 

He stared over at you quizzically, “Are you alright, love?”

You sighed, feeling guilty for potentially waking him from his slumber, “Yeah, I’m okay. Go back to sleep.”

“No your not,” Newt hovered behind you, his eyes scanning over your body, “I can feel you shaking.”

“I didn’t want to wake you, I’m sorry,” You whispered, teeth still chattering between breaths. 

Newt laughed softly, “Don’t be silly, come ‘ere.”

Before you could say anything else, Newt had shuffled closer towards you, wrapping an arm around your waist as he situated himself behind you. You couldn’t help but repeat your previous action, leaning back into his touch. His breath fanned over the back of your neck, sending tingles down your spine. 

“You’re so warm,” You mumbled happily, reaching down and grabbing his hand. You laced your fingers with his, clutching your intertwined hands to your chest.  

Newt grinned in response, his body relaxing into yours.

“Just rest baby,” You felt him nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck, his plump lips placing a kiss to your skin, “I’ve got you.”

You bit your lip in surprise, a sudden feeling of urgency rushing over you as your heart thumped against your chest. You were almost certain the Newt could hear the sound of it. 

Turning your head slightly, you looked at Newt from the corner of your eye. Just then did you realise how close the two of you really were. 

“Could you call me that again?” You whispered, clutching his hand closer to your chest and over your heart, loving the feeling of his arm wrapped around you, keeping you safe. 

You could almost feel Newt smirking against your neck. He lifted himself up, using the arm that was wrapped around you to turn you over in one swift motion. You were now laying flat on your back with Newt hovering above you. 

He dragged his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to contain a smile as his eyes wandered across your face. His warm hand that was situated at your side made it’s way underneath your shirt and jumper you were wearing to start tracing patterns into the skin of your hip. 

He took a deep breath in, leaning in closer to brush the tip of his nose against the bridge of yours before whispering, “Baby.”

Then he closed the gap between the two of you, pressing his lips against yours, to which you eagerly accepted. He worked his lips slowly against your own, finding a slow and sensual rhythm between the two of you as he pulled you closer, still tracing patterns into your warm skin that was once cold, but no longer.   

You reached up, running your hand through the sandy blonde hair on the nape of his neck, kissing back with just as much passion. 

[ynscrazylife]

I was thinking maybe a oneshot where B!D gets poisoned by Cadmus?

Sisterly Instincts 

Summary: Y/N is Kryptonian who landed on Earth a few years after Kara. When CADMUS kidnaps her, they inject her with a poison made out of their version of Kryptonite, which is very harmful to her.

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PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/mundodeseriess

Image ID: Alex and Kara sitting together. Alex has her eyes closed, head on Kara’s shoulder, arm wrapped around her, and is looking upset. Kara is wearing her glasses and is looking down, crying. End ID. 

“Alex, have you heard from Y/N yet today?” Kara asked as she entered the DEO, a slight frown on her face still evident from the morning. 

Alex shook her head no. “Not since last night, why?” She asked, coming down the stairs and joining her sister in her walk. 

Kara shrugged it off. “She just didn’t send me her usual good morning text . . . She’s probably fine, right?” The blonde answered, now feeling silly as she voiced the worry that had been slowly eating at her. 

Alex’s warm chuckle calmed her almost instantly. “Yeah, it’s nothing. We’ll see her soon as she’s coming into the DEO anyway,” she reasoned, assuming their younger sister had just overslept. 

They reached the main room where J’onn and the other DEO agents sat at their desks and immediately the Danvers’ sisters got to work. 

However, when it was ten minutes past the time Y/N was supposed to arrive, Alex decided to give her a call, biting her lip. She discreetly pressed her phone to her ear, turning away so she wouldn’t cause her sister unnecessary worry. 

It ringed. 

And ringed. 

And ringed. 

“Hey! You’ve reached Y/N Danvers. Sorry I couldn’t answer! Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you.” Alex cursed quietly when it rang so long it went to voicemail and huffed to clear her mind and steady herself.

“Hey, Y/N. It’s Alex. I’m sure you just overslept or are rushing to work,” she said, pausing to chuckle when the image of her younger sister running around the city popped into her mind, “Just give me a call when you get this. Love you, bye!” 

Despite the small worry entering the pit of her stomach, Alex reminded herself that Y/N being late and missing a phone wasn’t too uncommon, and she resumed her work. 

"Alex?” Kara said, and Alex looked up from her computer to see her sister gesturing at the clock with a nod. The brunette looked over, and felt that pit sink lower when she saw that 20 minutes had passed. Getting no message from Y/N, Alex and Kara shared a look, coming to a silent decision. 

“We're gonna go by Y/N’s apartment and check on her,” Alex informed J’onn as she stood up from her chair and grabbed her coat. She couldn't keep herself from remembering that Y/N should be here right now, she didn't live far away. 

Kara nodded, following her older sister, and the two women left the DEO, neither of them discussing their worries in fear of distressing the other one. Great minds do think alike, though, and that’s why they both internally came to the conclusion that if nothing was wrong and they found Y/N sleeping late, they were gonna be pissed (however they hoped that was what they found instead of the scary alternatives brewing and stirring in their minds). 

When they reached Y/N’s apartment, Kara knocked on the door. They waited almost a minute and when the door didn't open and they didn’t hear anything, Alex fished the key Y/N had given to her out of her pocket and unlocked the door. 

Stepping inside, the women were prepared to search the house like they were on a mission, when a paper on the floor, having been slipped under the door, caught their attention. Sharing a look, Kara grabbed the paper and unfolded it. It read: 

“Hello, Supergirl, 

I won’t lie. I don’t know your ‘secret identity’. However, I was able to find out Y/S/N’s, so it’s only a matter of time before I find yours, too. Come to these coordinates: [pretend there’s random coordinates] by 12:00 alone and allow us to experiment and test on you. If you fail to do that, I won’t give Y/N the cure to the Kryptonite poison that’s in her system and I’ll reveal her identity to the world. 

-- CADMUS.” 

For a couple moments, Kara and Alex stood, glued to the spot. Thoughts and emotions washed over their bodies: concern for their sister, anger at CADMUS, and an utter helplessness since they didn’t know what to do. 

It was a little past 10:00 now and when the two got back to the DEO, they made a plan with J’onn. He’d disguise himself as Kara and would do as the letter said and they’d have DEO agents - including Alex and Kara - stationed around the building with cloaking devices, which would make them invisible to CADMUS and their tech. Winn would hack into CADMUS’ tech and after Y/N was given the cure, the DEO agents would act.

At 10:30, the DEO agents were stationed around the base, invisible, and J’onn had walked into the base itself, disguised as Kara. He noticed the Kryptonite around the room, there to weaken Kara, so he put on an act: pretending that it was hurting him. He barley refrained from rushing over to Y/N when he saw the woman who was like a daughter to him siting on a chair, weak and only half-conscious, sweat shining on her face with Lillian Luthor standing beside her. 

“Good, you came,” Lillian said with a sadistic smile. 

“Yes. Now give Y/S/N the cure,” J’onn said, putting on his best Supergirl face. 

The corners of Lillian’s mouth turned into a smirk and she walked over to another chair a few feet away, which had Kryptonite restraints. “Sit,” she said calmly, although the way she stood, her hands delicately placed on the chair, brought power to the lonely word. 

J’onn complied, frowning as he walked over to the chair and sat down, letting Lillian put the restraints on his wrists and ankles that she thought would weaken him. For extra effect, J’onn sucked in a breath and faked pain. 

Lillian smugly turned around and walked back to Y/N, who didn’t seem to realize what was going on. The older woman gestured to one of her minions and they promptly injected a serum into Y/N’s neck, making the youngest Danvers’ gasp just the slightest before her eyes fluttered close. 

“The antidote is taking its affect in her system,” Lillian informed J’onn before turning back to her minion. “Take the girl outside. She can find her way back.” 

The man nodded and picked Y/N up, slinging her over his shoulder and walked out. The second J’onn heard a smash and knew that his team had acted, he gave Lillian no time to be on alert before he ripped off the restraints and knocked all of the CADMUS agents out. 

. . .  . . .  . . . 

Alex and Kara had been standing outside, listening to Lillian and J’onn’s interaction through their earpieces. The women were both racked with worry over their little sister and when they saw the man carrying her, it took everything in them both to wait until he carelessly dropped her on the floor. When he did, Kara revealed herself and knocking him unconscious into a wall. Alex then revealed herself as well, hearing J’onn fighting, and ran to Y/N while the rest of the DEO agents went inside to erase CADMUS’ memory of Y/N’s identity and to make arrests.

“Y/N, Y/N! Come on, wake up,” Alex said, slightly panicked as she gently rolled Y/N from where she was laying on her side to be on her back. Kara, after making sure the guy was unconscious, sped over. 

Kara knitted her brown together and drew her lips into a line, silently gathering her sister into her arms. Alex glanced up at her, tears in her eyes, for she knew Kara was only silent when she was very worried. 

“I��ll meet you back at the DEO,” Kara said quietly, her tone almost emotionless, before lifting off and flying into the air. Alex swallowed and took a breath, getting to her feet.

. . .  . . .  . . .

As she flew through the air, Kara battled to keep distracting thoughts about the clouds and the breeze away, as she knew she had to focus on her unconscious sister. Y/N was the priority. Once she landed at the DEO, she immediately headed to the med bay, where doctors took over and Kara informed him that Y/N had supposedly been given the antidote. 

After almost ten minutes of Kara pacing just outside the door and Winn doing his best to comfort her, the doctors informed them that the antidote was indeed in Y/N’s system and it was fighting off the poison. They didn’t know when she would wake up but when she did, she would need to rest a lot as she’d be weak. They were also unsure if CADMUS had done anything else to her, so she’d need to stay at the DEO overnight if she didn’t wake up soon. 

The doctors allowed Kara to see her so the blonde sat by her sister’s side, holding her hand until Alex burst in, looking out-of-breath. 

“How is she?” Alex asked, sitting on Y/N’s other side and taking her free hand. 

Kara told her what the doctors said and they collectively let out a breath, relieved that she was going to be alright. They stayed with Y/N for another hour, silent except for the occasional comment, when Y/N started blinking her eyes open. 

The agent and the superhero both sat up, patiently waiting for Y/N to wake up and adjust herself.

“Alex? Kara?” Y/N croaked out, looking at her sisters in a haze of confusion. 

Both women smiled and let out happy tears, helping her to sit up before wrapping their arms around her. Y/N smiled, leaning her head against Kara’s neck. 

“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Alex whispered. 

“It’ll never happen again,” Kara promised. 

Y/N nodded. She didn’t say anything in response, finding herself too tired after the day’s events. Kara and Alex stayed until she fell asleep and then they reluctantly left her under the watchful eye of Winn, since they needed to debrief with J’onn and prepare for when Y/N would come home. 

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[theunstuffedpepper]

I’ve thought about making a post to sum up my life over the past week and there’s so much scrambling around in my little brain about it, it seems like too much to succinctly write.

Here’s a recap, and while I’m trying to be succinct, I doubt it’ll be short. 🙂

I had an appointment last Thursday where I was prescribed meds for high blood pressure and for PPD/anxiety. I’ve been taking the PPD/A meds since. I took the BP meds for two days, and stopped because they were giving me headaches and making me insanely thirsty despite chugging tons of water.

On the BP front, my doctor prescribed me meds after my blood pressure spiked in her office. I was there to talk about PPD, so no surprise that I was anxious and nervous. She freaked (though she’s very lovely and kind) and prescribed meds, recommended an EKG and bloodwork, and set me up with a primary care appointment. I have a very well documented pattern of my BP being higher in the office and normal at home - hello, crippling anxiety - so being prescribed meds was very frustrating. Since I wasn’t going to continue taking the meds, I decided to track my BP twice a day in preparation for an appointment with a primary care doctor on Tuesday.

Tuesday rolls around and I’m nervous as all hell, of course, but my BP is better at the office than it was with the OB. I meet my new primary care doctor and, guys, she is INCREDIBLE. I’ve never been listened to by a doctor like that before. She was kind, gentle, patient, and she spoke to me on my level. She shared plenty about her family, life and health. I was so comfortable. Long story short, she agreed that I don’t need the medication and instead asked me to do two things: (1) clean up my diet and start drinking a high-potassium smoothie every morning, and (2) get back to exercising regularly. Both of these things will be easier to do now that I’m not suffocating underneath the weight of PPD/A. She also had me cancel my EKG and fasting bloodwork appointment and just did some bloodwork there while I was in the office. Much easier. I love this doctor. Side note: my bloodwork results already came back and everything was perfectly normal.

I’ve started the green potassium smoothies and B is joining me with them.. it’s just a banana, spinach, water, and ice. Apparently a dose of high potassium in the morning will lower my BP by 10 points. I’ll take that. Bonus: the smoothie actually tastes good!

So, that’s the end of the BP saga, for now.

As far as mental health goes, the meds I’m taking have been nothing short of transformative. I hated the idea of taking anything, but after having taken them for only a week now, I’m so happy I finally caved and was willing to try it. I’m noticing a big difference in outlook - so much more positive - and my weepiness has gone away. B has also noticed a big difference and says I seem “back to my old self”.

I had a consult with a mental health group on Monday and they’re going to put me on a wait list to get set up with short-term therapy. All their therapists are specialized in postpartum/women’s mental health/pregnancy/loss/etc. It’s all sounding very hopeful.

One positive change I’ve noticed physically: my sleep has been much better. I still have trouble falling asleep, my mind racing about something I really shouldn’t be worrying about, but overall I’m sleeping more deeply. When I wake up, it feels like my body has been working hard to heal and mend. I’m sure on some level it actually is.

One less-than-positive change I’ve noticed physically: I’m getting tuckered very easily by routine things. I’m hoping that drops off eventually. I didn’t realize how bad things had gotten for me — my mental health had deteriorated so much that it was affecting my physical health pretty significantly. That’s for another time. For now, I’m trying to be patient with myself. I’m making to-do lists to help manage the nighttime overthinking and while I might not check everything off, I’m doing what I can as I can do it. I worked out this morning and while I was more winded than I would have been “normally”, I did it.

I’m also still waiting for shark week to arrive.. it’s now a week late and pregnancy tests are negative. Who knows, folks. I’m just assuming the stress of this past week has taken its toll and my body will figure it all out in due time.

For now, I’m trying to show myself as much grace as possible and make sustainable positive changes to improve things both mentally and physically. If you’ve read all this, I’m sending you a big ol’ virtual hug. Now I’m off to climb into bed and get some much needed rest.