I know Hetty isn't really an aspect of the show I have addressed before, largely because I've been focused on Jack & Belle and Jack & Fagin, but I did want to share a thought. Obviously it is heavily implied that Hetty is in love with Jack (which he does not seem to even notice, much less reciprocate), and as sad as that is for her character (she's just like a genuinely good person who has done nothing wrong, just not been the right person at the right time), I think there is one particular phrasing in all of this that has kept me from feeling too crushed for her.
When she talks to Jack about love, she tells him, "You've never really loved anyone, have you? You peel the skin off your heart and it always hurts, no matter what you do," and the implication of this is very much, imo, that Hetty has loved (romantically) before Jack, and not only does she have the capacity to love again after him, she already knows this about herself, too. Jack being someone Hetty falls in love with, but not her first love, and very easily not her last, is a comfort, imo. She obviously isn't at peace with her feelings for Jack yet, but she absolutely feels like a character that can and will get over him, and that makes me feel happy for her, because not everyone is like that.
Some people really never do get over their first love, but I believe Hetty already has long before she met Jack, and I believe she absolutely will do so again with him as well, that one day she will look back at her love for Jack as a distant memory of her youth, nothing less, nothing more. That's how I choose to interpret her words, and since we're unlikely to ever get any concrete confirmation on this particular topic, that's how I'm going to continue to look at her character- someone strong enough and kind enough to have several beautiful loves pass through her life and still be open to loving again.
Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!
Just thought abt olderbf!simon fucking you in his rugby/football jersey and growling right in your ear something about giving you a pretty ring on your finger and his last name
there is nothing older bf!simon wants more than to see “RILEY” across your back as he’s hitting it from behind.
it’s only sunday morning local-rec-over-21’s rugby. it’s nothing special.
but there is you on the side lines, so cold he can see your breath and wrapped up in one of his thicker jackets.
he likes the way you smile and do a little jump when it’s a penalty for his team.
and he likes that little frown you get when someone tries to take him off at the knees.
and he really likes the way you get a little dazed when he’s tackling sorry bastards across the grass.
that same dazed look you get when he comes off the pitch covered in mud and smelling like sweat. when you pass him a towel and tell him to shower at home.
which is actually code for “get me home now and i’ll do that thing you like”
and it leads him to this, bending you over on the bed so he can see his last name stretched across your shoulders and imagine what it’ll be like when it’s finally yours.
he can feel the caveman-primal-madness coursing through him when he sees you with his name on his back. inexplicably hard at the thought-
the thought of you as his.
and whilst he hasn’t got it all planned out yet, he can pretend like he does. when he presses his chest to your back so you can hear his voice loud and clear.
“y’all mine? hmm? get t’keep y’forever? till death n’all that?”
Hi it's just to let you know that the official romanization of Revaan's name is Raverne ! Also they have romanized Baul's name to Baur !
Twst coming back at us again with the least expected romanization! thank you everybody (oh god my inbox) (no it's great, I literally asked for this and the reactions have been INCREDIBLE, thank you all!)
I do like Raverne though, I think it's got a nice fancy sound to it! (I had kinda suspected it was going to be an R instead of an L, so the fact that it's SO close to Laverne except for that is hilarious to me personally.) and Dragoneye Duke is honestly probably the best translation for his title, I wasn't envying the localizers that one. :') Baur instead of Baul I was NOT expecting, but in retrospect I think his name's supposed to be a reference to the Bauru crocodile, so that actually makes way more sense!
someone else also said Meleanor has become Maleanor, which is the REALLY weird one to me, because I was so surprised it was written as Mel instead of Mal in the first place?! oh god no I can't decide which one I like better. 😭 (I wonder if they might change it to Mal...they have made romanization changes before) (like I remember House of Distraction being corrected to House of Destruction in Playful Land) (I did check and she's still Mel for now, but I dunno, they might Mal her up and some point and save me from having to make a decision about which one to use) (HECK I CAN'T DECIDE)
uhhhh thank you for letting me ramble about anime names, let's just say MONOGRAMMED SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE
Danny and Tim had been dating for a year or so now, and after having moved in together Tim loves his boyfriend to bits with one singular complaint.
He never remembers to use the fucking door.
See, Danny had never been particularly shy about his meta status, he'd been taking his little 'shortcuts' through walls for long before Tim had met him. Tim knew he saw the laws of physics as somewhat optional, but he just couldn't understand how someone who had grown up till their teenage years a completely average human could so often have reality slip his mind.
So when he goes over to the Fenton family home for Thanksgiving week and sees his boyfriend's father absentmindedly kool-aid man his way through the public library's exterior wall, Danny's behavior suddenly started to make a lot more sense.
WOW this has been ROUGH in the Life Events category of things, but. slowly crawling out of that. hopefully
this was the opening scene for a something I started writing after watching the Manben inverview with Nishi Keiko and thinking back to all the classic shoujo manga I stayed up reading back in the day, like damn that's so true Urasawa Naoki
it's partially a love letter to all the greats of the genre that I read, and also to the late night teleseryses that captivated me over the years lmao. it'd be nice to find the time to tackle it properly as a comic, but I'm having fun working on it recreationally :)
✨but since it's recreational, some character info✨
the first character seen is lawrence 'law' valenciano (late 30s), the one with the glasses is cris volante (mid-later 20s). law works at a karinderya, cris is an extremely broke university student.
while i get where this comes from and it’s true to an extent, i reeeaaaally don’t like how people try to explain “trans men don’t [necessarily] have male privilege” with things like “some trans men don’t pass”.
like sure that’s the most obvious example (someone who is seen as a woman won’t have the privilege that comes with being seen a man) but you’re still acting like being a passing trans man is just a free opt-in to male privilege which is………kinda the issue.
i wonder how many more people would've vehemently hated gale right off the bat on full release if his introduction conversation had stayed like this or something similar
the more i read about transandrophobia as a concept from 'transandrophobia truthers', the more i just end up feeling like these specific experiences are better explained under things like 'gender essentialism' or 'oppositional sexism', or that at the very least these terms need to be brought into discussion of transandrophobia more, but they aren't.
a lot of transandrobros end up coming off like MRAs because they're trying to describe experiences that they don't have proper wording for, and then go on to speak in ways that clearly shows they haven't unlearned [internalized] misogyny/toxic masculinity, gender essentialism and oppositional sexism themselves. often because they haven't read any theory on the subject, and because a lot of them outright refuse to read up on transfeminist theory or understand transmisogyny as a systemic force outside of 'misogyny that trans women experience' or 'transphobia that trans women experience'. then they go on to try and talk over trans women about transmisogyny, or speak about trans women discussing transmisogyny in some extremely bigoted ways because of it.
like, the amount of trans women discussing transmisogyny who have read or even written entire books about transmisogyny, transfeminism and feminism in general seems to be astronomical compared to the amount of trans men discussing transandrophobia that i KEEP seeing. i've seen trans men who have read theory, but they seem to be the bigger popular bloggers that others base their opinions off of, if that makes sense. as if other people in the community are trying to theorize on what people who have actually read theory are saying, without reading any theory themselves.
so much of what transmascs experience is related to misogyny, but it's also related to gender essentialism, oppositional sexism, and toxic masculinity--all things which the trans community has taken from cisgender heterosexual society and applied it to themselves in a way that is Queer Inclusive This Time, yet they never question it.
i'm BEGGING transandrophobia truthers to read books about trans oppression, and to bring this language into your vocabulary when discussing your experiences. when i started doing that with my experiences as a butch on T, it gave me a new perspective on all of it, and the queer community itself.
you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.
you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.
instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.
you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.
your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.
because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.
so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.
all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.
saw someone argue that the central defining feature of fanfiction is its attention to proper characterisation. man I don’t think you’ve read very much fanfiction
[ content warning: discussion of in-canon sexual abuse ]
Maybe it’s just because I’m not too active in the ALNST fandom and mostly observe from afar, but I think this fandom brushed aside way too quickly the fact that Till was sexually assaulted. I have never seen anyone talk in depth about like, what that actually means in terms of his arc and the storytelling of his character. Which I find deeply, deeply upsetting because holy fucking shit.
This man right here has been told, basically his entire life, that not only is he himself not worthy of being treated as a human, but that his body is not his body, but a piece of property that can be owned. And whoever owns his property can use it for whatever, and however they wish.
Now, dehumanization is nothing new or unique in this world, obviously. The very concept of Pet Humans is dehumanizing by nature, leaving all six of our main characters as victims to it, even those who are more well-off like Mizi. But Till is a specially fucked up case almost distinctly unlike the rest, because he is actually treated like a fucking dog.
(x)
Ivan: If you keep rebelling like that, they won’t ever remove your collar you know?
Till: This annoying bastard…
—
Ivan: I told you so, didn’t I? You didn’t listen?
Till: This annoying bastard...
(translation courtesy of @leiikos on youtube)
(x)
An unruly animal who needs to be leashed up and put in it’s place.
Animals, as is common knowledge, are not on the same level as a human being. But they are ordained to follow the commands of those above them. And if someone (thing) isn’t doing as it is told…
It deserves to be taught better. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This is the mindset that has followed Till his entire life by the ones who were supposed to take care of him. He is not human, even less human than the existing inhuman. He is a pet, even more so than the other pets, an animal. A thing. Property. Something to own.
And the best thing about owning something?
You gain the ability to do whatever you want to it.
Till’s body was not his from the start. It was used as something to toy around with, experiment with, to train and train and train, presumably for his whole life. His body, his skin, his flesh and bone and blood, it was all nothing more than a plaything. So what if he screams? Just ignore it. Or don’t. If this competition has taught us anything, voices have the most value of all.
On top of it being reinforced that Till is not deserving of humanity, he is also not deserving of his bodily autonomy. People are free to do whatever they want with his body because it’s not his body, it’s theirs.
And that brings us, finally, to the scene itself
He can’t sing her song, he refuses to.
This isn’t the first time he’s refused to do something, far from it actually. What was once an innocent puppy with dilated hope in his eyes has grown into an angry, disobedient mutt. And we know what happens to an animal that refuses to do what they’re told.
But there’s something interesting about dogs, or rather about the ones they descended from, the wolf:
When the circumstances call for it, they will bite the hand that’s supposed to feed them.
And here is where I intrude to remind you that this is the only time we see anyone physically fighting back against the aliens in the confines of Alien Stage.
We see Hyuna and Mizi fucking up aliens in All In, but that was after they had escaped from the cage. And you could make a case for Mizi trying to escape the grasp of the guards that grabbed her in Ruler of My Heart, but from what we saw she didn’t actually lay a hand on them and more so just tried to force herself out of their grasp. though if you disagree with me on that that's fine
Here though? Till has this bitch’s face grabbed into his palm with a bottle in hand ready to smash it directly in between it’s eyes. I consider this to be the first act of physical violence shown against the aliens within the uncomfortably tight enclosure.
And it’s triggered not because of anything personally done to Till, which on its own could probably fill a list that reaches the ground. But because of the prospect of Mizi being dead.
Till knows that this place is shit, that his life is shit. Said so directly on his profile.
Dislikes: Everyone, including Guardian Urak
(translation courtesy of @kh47uo on twitter)
But he stays regardless because Mizi is there. If Mizi is dead, Till has absolutely nothing to lose…Right?
I can almost imagine him thinking: There’s nothing you can put me through that’s worse than every other way you’ve hurt me.
…But there was. Oh there was.
A final, disgusting message to the pet to put him back in his place. Back on his leash. Making sure he will never forget where he stands for the rest of his days.
And that is really what the sexual assault of Till represents to me. It is a cruel reminder to Till that fighting back is impossible, having hope, being free, it might as well be a fool's fantasy. He will always be less-than-human, less than anything. His body will always be the property of the ones that were supposed to protect him, claimed, and then used used used until it’s worn out and dead.
And the aliens chose to exemplify that fact in the most direct way they possibly could.
So what if he screams? Just ignore it. Or don’t. If this competition has taught us anything, screams have the most value of all