#also i'm just proud of it you know? i want people to use it

[gia-d]

Back in October last year, I started reading This is an Adjuration by @not-freyja.

By the time I had made it to chapter 5, I had already started typesetting this story as I read because I knew this would be one of those stories that I needed to have on my shelf.

When I finally caught up to the story at chapter 31, I begged the author to let me bind this when it was finished.

Nearly a year later, and what is probably the most important bind of my life is finally finished. Check out these glamour shots, and if you want to hear more about the actual binding process and about how this fic actually changed my life, see below.

So funny story, before I get into the technical side of this bind, but this fic actually changed my life. Not as in I was greatly emotionally moved by the story, though don't get me wrong I absolutely was, but genuinely this fic introduced me to some of the best people I have ever had to privilege of knowing (Hello Class, you know who you are 🩷), and also, it introduced me to Freyja, the incredibly talented author, who, as I type this, is curled up in bed next to me fast asleep after flying half way around the world to go on a two week long date with me.

Moral of the story folks is comment on the fics you like. You might accidentally meet the love of your life on, and I can't believe I'm saying this, AO3.

Anyways, about the bind!

This bind was a challenge from day 1. I had to do the typeset for this 300k word fic 4 times, and had to split it across 2 volumes. This was the longest fic I have ever attempted to bind, and it was so thick I couldn't get it in the paper trimmer.

To make this book as durable as possible, I attempted a few techniques. I secured it with 3 tapes, I made an Oxford hollow, I rounded the spine, I made a slipcase and I used 2.3mm boards where normally I use 1.8mm.

The slipcase is covered with embossed faux leather, buckram and plain ribbon, and lined with gold satin fabric. I've never made a slipcase before so this was an experience.

The books are covered with an emerald green silk finish bookcloth which really gave the books the luxury they deserved. I foiled custom end papers as well as every chapter title page using heat reactive transfer foil on toner ink (never again I am never doing that again omg it took days). Huge thank you to @la-sera for letting me use her artwork which helped inspire this fic!

The grey flashback chapters I had to use HTV for the border decoration and I'm very happy with how that turned out because it was so easy and straight forward, unfortunately it just wasn't viable for the whole book.

It feels weird to finally have these books done. They have my blood, sweat, tears and my heart poured into them, and I've been working on them for so long that it's odd to actually have them finished. I'm so proud of this bind, and feel like I've grown so much as a fanbinder by making these.

Anyways, if anyone has any questions about the process, please don't hesitate to ask!

(and if you are an Linked Universe fan and haven't read Adjuration yet, this is your sign!)

[ghouldtime]

I just followed you based solely on an ask you responded to because I very much vibe with a Ghost who walked into a craft store for paint and came out with two new hobbies.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

I'm a proud 'Simon "Ghost" Riley is just A Dude ©' Truther

I love seeing that where he is just living a nice domestic life. I usually write spooky AU's or things with the paranormal but he's always just a dude there too, I like keeping him like that!!

To me, I can never look at him flat on and agree with the version of Ghost that people usually write (no shame to those who do, keep doing whatever makes you happy - it's not personal it's just not my taste) where they make him this ultra edgelord dommy sigma guy where he's always somehow towering over EVERYONE, growls every word, and is just???? That version viscerally reminds me of my early wattpad days or those rlly weird thirst trap biketoks

Like, have you LISTENED when this man speaks? Have you heard his jokes? His sense of humor that he doesn't hide??? Give me the dad jokes, give me the terrible puns that would make you give him a significant side eye if you heard them as his shoulders shake with the laughter he's trying to hold back !!!

Soap implied he made his masks and he probably would have to to make sure that hey, this isn't something flammable. I don't think he'd just buy something that personal to him. Which means he would have to sit down and pull out the paint kit, pull out the Dremel, and get to work

THAT MEANS he has to go buy the art supplies. He has to go shop for them and browse the aisles of paint, holding up two of the bottles, determining if he would rather have Eggshell white or Ivory. And I'm convinced that yes, he knows there's a difference and he'll insist on it and NO it's not the same shade

He sews, he has to. He HAD to have made his mask. Sewing is also a super practical skill when you're out on the field and it helps improve dexterity and coordination so I'm going to say it's likely he does. Sewing is super cool y'all.

So I implore you to imagine him in the fabric store, trying not to get distracted by the seasonal prints or the really ornate shimmery fabrics that you can't help but to look at. I refuse to accept that he hasn't sewn pillows in his house just because he liked a certain fabric and wanted to use it

And I'm going to say he's made a god awful holiday themed mask. It's simultaneously the most ugly thing you've ever set eyes upon and the greatest thing ever too. He's committed to the bit

He's also picked up embroidery because, like sewing, it helps improve your dexterity and keeps your hands busy. It's also practical because how else can people steal your things or confuse them if there's a tiny ghost embroidered on the hem????

He's just a guy and I love imagining Ghost with actual domestic hobbies, being himself, living his life (falling into the trap we all do at some point of going into an art store and finding something interesting to do)

Just A Dude© Ghost is my favorite and I'll never let him go

[wanderingblindly]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

oooooooh this is so cruel, how dare you make me consider my fics this way????? reflecting on this made me realize that a lot of my personal favs are actually my less popular ones. that makes sense, in a way; often my favorites are where i'm trying to express a really specific emotion or idea, which might not always resonate with people? anyways, ordered from oldest to newest:

Eighteenth Summer (Do You Wish We'd Fall in Love?)

ambient, pining, sort of sepia toned vignette filtered lestappen. i remember really wanting to capture the ambiguity that comes with being 18 and finishing high school -- a new future looms even when you feel like you haven't finished living what you have now. very much being on a precipice, but with a happy ending :)

You Bring Me Closer To God

i literally fucking love this universe so much. even if the fic wasn't special, writing all the dynamics between the bandmates, between the bar flies, between oscar and lando... it was such a joy. i still think about writing more within Dirty Blondes all the time.

I Know Your Name (But Not Who You Are)

lestappen in grief! the passage of time! the fear that life has somehow stopped moving on but also changed more than you can stomach! wanting things from your childhood but having to accept that you can never go back! but perhaps learning that moving forward is beautiful, too! yet another one where i entered it trying to capture a specific feeling, and i think i managed to like... use the setting in a way that achieved that.

Someone in Seattle

i like this one because i managed to write a fic i'd love to read. i love fics that explore the soft, meandering development of relationships -- the ones where falling in love is a bit of a blurry line, and it happens just by the nature of truly Seeing each other. it's a love letter to my home, and i think of her very fondly.

Impasse of Biting

THIS IS THE ONLY FIC WHERE I FEEL LIKE I GOT EVEN CLOSER TO LIKE. SOMETHING YOU COULD ANALYZE. THERE ARE CHARACTER MOTIVATIONS! THERE'S SPECIFIC WORD CHOICE! THERE'S UNRELIABLE NARRATION AND COMPLICATED EMOTIONAL TIES! idk. it's one that i feel like each reader could come away with something wildly different, and (as someone who doesn't often deal in ambiguity), that makes me proud.

[itendtothinkalot]

confession 3.0

Summary: reader has suppressed her feelings for huening for so long, believing that she could manage without confessing. sooo how will she react when she discovers that kai had gone on a blind date.......

Genre: fluffy

Characters: huening kaix f!reader

Words: 6202

a/n: suUuUuper busy at work rn but i managed to write something rly quick today! i didnt rly proofread or edit this so i'm sorry if thrs errors! also stream #ggum!!!

Completed (oneshot)

Kai, It’s hard to find the right words when I’m about to say something that could change everything between us. But here I am, thinking maybe, just MAYBE, you would feel the same way. (Though, I’m on my period, so maybe I’m reading too much into it.) We’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember. You’ve always been my rock, through every high and low. Maybe that’s why it’s taken me so long to see you as more than a friend. But now, I think I’m ready to face the truth. I like you—probably more than a friend should.

It’s been two years since you wrote that letter. You and Kai had just graduated. Maybe it was the adrenaline from graduation, but you wrote it the night he kissed your cheek after you were named valedictorian.

“THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND!” you heard him yell from the seats. You rolled your eyes as you walked up to get your diploma, but you couldn’t ignore the look in his eyes as he mouthed the words, “I’m so proud of you.”

“The letter’s collecting dust,” Beomgyu teased, lying on your bed, reading the letter you wrote for Kai all those years ago.

“You come to my house, rummage through my memory box, and take out this hellish letter?” You glared at Beomgyu, who knew you were getting irritated. “What are you trying to achieve? If you want me to cry, just call me dumb. I’m on my period anyway.”

“TMI, but I’ll let it slide since I am a huge female supporter.” He chuckled, “But here’s a thought! Give him the letter.”

You snatched the letter from him. “And why would I do that?"

"Why not? It's cute!"

"Cute?"

"Yeah!"

"In what way?" You asked.

"It has like words. And stuff." Beomgyu paused. “Besides, you two belong together! Plus, I need some drama in my life. Ever since Soobin and Yeonjun went to study overseas, things have been so boring.”

"Are you insinuating that Kai, Taehyun, and I are boring?" you asked, deadpan.

"I'm not insinuating. I'm literally telling you that," Beomgyu chuckled, draping his arms over your shoulders like he hadn’t just insulted you.

"You’re an idiot," you scoffed, shaking your head. "Besides, I’m perfectly fine with how things are."

"Oh, you mean staring at him lovingly while he’s eating?" Beomgyu teased, widening his eyes and pouting dramatically, doing his best imitation of you watching Kai.

“I could kill you.”

“But you won’t.”

You stuck your tongue out at him, knowing he was right. It was cruel—the way you felt about Kai. Almost comically so. Falling in love with your best friend felt like a cosmic joke.

“Do you think he likes me back?” You sighed.

“How would I know?” Beomgyu rolled his eyes.

“Well, for starters, you three have guy’s nights.”

“We talk about games. Football. You know, guy stuff. Do we look like the kind of people who talk about feelings?”

“Kinda. Yeah.” 

—

The living room was filled with high pitched screaming (mostly from Beomgyu) as the four of you—Beomgyu, Taehyun, Kai, and you—were completely absorbed in a random game Kai had discovered in a video he had seen somewhere.

Taehyun, with a mischievous grin, leaned back on the couch. “Hey, did you guys hear the news?” 

“What news?” Beomgyu asked, his eyes still locked onto the TV.

“Kai has a girlfriend~” Taehyun sang, before getting elbowed in his stomach.

“Dude!” Kai said, his eyes shifted to you and then to Beomgyu. “It was just a blind date my sister set me up on. It was stupid.” 

Your fingers froze. You glanced over at Taehyun, still grinning as he played, and felt a sudden surge of jealousy. Your hands fumbled with the controller, struggling to keep your composure as your heart raced. You shot a quick look at Kai, whose focus wavered as his eyes were still locked onto your every movement as if waiting for a reaction.

"Why would you bring that up when we’re about to beat the last level?” Kai sighed, his brows furrowing in mild annoyance as his hands tightened around the controller.

Taehyun smirked, leaning back lazily against the couch. “Would you have preferred I brought it up on the first level?” he teased, eyes gleaming with mischief.

Kai rolled his eyes, exhaling in frustration. “It wasn’t a big deal,” he muttered, his voice casual, but there was a slight tension in his posture as if he wanted to brush the subject away quickly.

“So it did happen?” Beomgyu exclaimed, freezing his character mid-air on the screen.

“A couple of days ago,” Taehyun said casually, his attention still on the game. “I was surprised too. He didn’t mention anything about it, I only happened to walk past his little date at the cafe I frequent.”

Kai shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Yeah, it was just a setup my sister arranged. It was... fine.”

You felt a pang of jealousy and frustration, struggling to ignore the growing lump in your throat. You shifted in your seat, trying to refocus on the game, but your movements became increasingly erratic.

Your fingers pressed random buttons, desperately trying to regain control, but it only made things worse. The game character on the screen flailed aimlessly.

“Stop dying! You’re pulling us down!” Taehyun yelled, clearly exasperated with your lack of focus.

The criticism hit a nerve, and you snapped, unable to keep your frustration in check. “Oh, sure, blame it on me, Taehyun! Maybe if you hadn’t brought up Kai’s stupid blind date, I wouldn’t be so distracted!”

Taehyun looked taken aback, his eyes widening in surprise. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s just... annoying!” you shot back, your voice sharp. “I’m trying to focus, and all I can think about is how—”

You suddenly noticed the three boys staring at you with wide eyes.

Realizing you’d let your frustration get the better of you, you quickly backpedaled. “I mean—sorry. I was just distracted,” you said, your voice trailing off awkwardly as you tried to recover from the outburst.

Beomgyu, ever observant, immediately noticed the shift in your demeanor. He shot you a sideways glance.

“Hey,” he said quietly, leaning in a bit closer so only you could hear, “I know you’re upset. Just take a deep breath.”

You met his gaze and saw the empathy in his eyes. 

“Thanks,” you murmured.

Meanwhile, Taehyun was still chatting away about the date, completely oblivious to the tension. “So, how did it go, Kai? Did you have a good time?”

Kai shrugged again, looking a bit uncomfortable. “It was okay. We talked, had dinner. Nothing special.”

You clenched your jaw, trying to mask the jealousy. You had no right to be upset, but the idea of Kai with someone else was expectedly hard to handle.

Like you said, curse.

—

It had been a couple of weeks since you last hung out with Kai, and you'd been avoiding him, using work as an excuse. You hoped everyone bought it, though Beomgyu didn’t seem convinced. But you didn’t care. You had already turned down Friday night dinners twice in a row, and there was no way you could get away with skipping a third time. So here you were, back at their place, feeling a knot of nerves twist in your stomach.

You wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but you were terrified it’d be awkward with Kai. Ever since you found out about his blind date, your feelings had been gnawing at you relentlessly, making every thought of him more painful. You feared how being around him might make those emotions harder to suppress especially since you almost gave yourself away the previous time.

But when you arrived at his house, all your worries evaporated the moment Kai pulled you into a tight bearhug. "I missed you so much!" he exclaimed, his voice warm and genuine. You found yourself melting into the embrace, forgetting every ounce of awkwardness and jealousy. For a brief moment, all that mattered was the familiar comfort of his arms around you, and everything else faded away.

You loved being in his arms. Kai felt like a giant teddy bear, soft and comforting in a way that made you feel safe. You had thought about it many times before—if comfort could take the form of a person, it would be him. His hugs were the kind that melted away stress, and being close to him felt like home. No matter how anxious or upset you were, being in his arms always made you forget, even if just for a little while.

“I missed you too," you fumbled out, your voice softer than intended.

"God! It's been two weeks, but it feels like a year!" he laughed, pulling you over to the sofa. His excitement and warmth made you feel like you’d never been away. 

"I knew you were busy the last couple of weeks," he said, reaching for his phone and opening the notes app. "So I made a list." He grinned, scrolling through it. "Here are just some things you missed during our dinners."

"You wrote them down on your notes app?" you giggled, genuinely amused by the thought of him keeping track of everything just for you.

"Of course," he replied with a playful glint in his eyes. "I can’t leave you out."

You don’t think he realizes just how sweet he is—or how incredibly frustrating it is that he's constantly this sweet. You're pretty sure he has no idea how much you want to scream every time he makes you feel this way. It was maddening, really, how effortlessly he could make your heart race with just a few words or a simple smile.

It had been about an hour since Kai filled you in on the events of the past two weeks. From what you gathered, Beomgyu sharted in his pants when he had diarrhoea from eating at a place down the street and Taehyun got drunk and wasted $500 sending TikTok gifts to Yeonjun during a live dance stream.

It seemed plausible enough. You missed them. Two weeks had passed, but it was more than enough time for you to fully feel their absence. Sure, they checked in on you every day, flooding the group chat, but you didn't respond—afraid you'd accidentally reveal your feelings for Kai. You weren’t about to make that mistake.

Still, you were starting to realize that avoiding them felt incredibly immature. You had forgotten just how much you loved your friends—and how much they loved you. Every part of you wished they wouldn’t change, not even a little. You wanted them to stay exactly as they were, unchanged and constant.

It was possibly why you were so adamant about keeping your feelings for Kai to yourself. The thought of confessing felt risky, one wrong move and the most precious friendship you’ve ever had could shatter. You couldn’t bear to be the one who ruined that.

Still…you wondered, how long you could take before you finally cracked.

“Do you think… we’ll still be friends when we’re older?” you asked, your voice soft and a bit uncertain.

Kai tilted his head, considering the question. “Like Yeonjun old or like my dad old?”

You laughed, trying to clarify, “Like, y’know, further into our adulthood.”

“Like when we have kids?” he asked, his tone casual but with a hint of curiosity.

“We?” Your heart skipped a beat, suddenly racing. The idea of him envisioning a future with you was both exhilarating and terrifying.

“Yeah?” He paused, looking at you with a thoughtful expression. “Like when you have your own family and I have mine.”

You nodded either way.

Kai looked at you with a genuine, reassuring smile. “Why wouldn’t we be?” he asked, his eyes warm and sincere. “We’ve been through so much together. Why wouldn’t we stay friends?”

Sure, you took some sort of comfort from his reassurance but there was a part of you still grappling with the realization that your feelings might never align with his. 

You took a deep breath, forcing a smile as you met his gaze. “Mhm.”

Kai’s smile widened, and he playfully nudged you with his elbow. “C’mon. We’ll still be annoying each other, like always.”

You laughed softly, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

"We won't change."

As you looked over at him, your eyes began to well up with tears. You looked away, pretending that you weren’t actually about to sob. 

Kai’s gaze softened when he noticed the glistening in your eyes. He placed his hands gently on your thigh, as if sensing that something was troubling you, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

“I promise,” he said softly.

“Right…sorry..I’m just–”

“It’s fine. I get it.” He nodded, cutting you off. “You don’t have to explain.”

You often wondered how someone who knew you so well didn’t have any idea that you liked him. The thought was both comforting and frustrating. 

“Anyway, there’s still like 3 more things on my list.” Kai said, showing you his notes app.

You nodded, “All ears!” 

Despite enjoying Kai’s animated recounting of the ridiculous things Beomgyu had done the week before, your mind was a tangled mess of thoughts about his recent blind date.

You tried to focus on the present, nodding and laughing along, but the image of him with someone else kept intruding.

You hesitated, your fingers nervously tracing patterns on the armrest of the sofa. You took a deep breath as you waited for Kai to finally finish his last story. 

“Hey, Kai, can I ask you something?” you finally managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. Your heart pounded in your chest as you waited for his response.

“Sure, what’s up?” he replied, still looking relaxed and upbeat.

“So, about that blind date your sister set you up on…” you began, your tone more serious now. “How did it–um– go?”

Kai’s expression shifted slightly, and he leaned back, thinking for a moment. “Oh, that. It was... okay. We had dinner and talked a bit. It was nice, but nothing special.”

You tried to mask your disappointment, nodding slowly. “I see.”

Kai looked at you with a hint of curiosity. “Why? What’s up?”

You shrugged, forcing a casual tone. “Oh! Nothing. I was just–uh–curious!”

“Well, to be honest,” he started, “the date was actually kind of fun. She was really nice and pretty. We had a good time talking and hanging out. She’s been asking me out on another date, but I’m not sure if I should go.”

You felt a wave of jealousy bubbling inside you, but you tried to keep your voice steady. “That’s nice!” you said, forcing a smile. “You should go.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, you winced inwardly, realizing the absurdity of what you’d just said. Here you were, encouraging the guy you had feelings for to go out on another date.

You looked down at your hands, trying to hide the flush of embarrassment creeping up your cheeks. “I mean… it’s your choice. Do what you think is right,” you stammered, trying to backtrack.

You tried to shake off the discomfort, but the conversation with Kai had left you feeling unsettled. As your phone rang, you seized the opportunity to shift focus.

“Hey, Beomgyu. What’s up?” you answered, trying to sound casual.

“Hey!” Beomgyu’s voice came through the speaker. “Just wanted to let you know we’ve got a busted tire. We’re going to be home 2-3 hours later than usual.”

“Shit, you guys okay?” 

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Beomgyu replied, chuckling. “Taehyun’s totally losing it with his insurance company. It’s kinda hilarious. I’ll send you a video in the group chat.”

You heard Beomgyu laughing, and then Taehyun’s distant shouting.

“Fuck. He’s coming over to yell at me to delete it,” Beomgyu added quickly.

“Yeah, okay,” you said, trying to ignore the awkwardness from earlier. “I’ll see you guys later.”

You hung up and looked over at Kai, who was watching you with a curious expression.

“Well,” you said, attempting to lighten the mood, “looks like it’s just us for dinner tonight.”

Kai grinned, clearly unfazed by the earlier conversation. “Perfect. More time for us to catch up.”

Whatever he had just said did nothing to quell the storm of emotions swirling inside you. You couldn’t help but think, Curse you, Huening Kai, you perfect son of a bitch, as you watched him move about the kitchen, completely unaware of the effect he had on you. 

—

“Can you pass me the salt?” “Hey…” “Dude!”

You suddenly felt a flick on your forehead and snapped out of your thoughts, turning to Kai, who had been trying to get your attention for a while.

“Oh! Yep. You should!” you blurted out. “You should totally try a new hairstyle.”

Kai laughed, the sound warm and reassuring. “We’ve moved on from that topic.” His expression softened as he leaned in, gently placing his hand on your forehead. “You alright? Are you feeling sick?”

His hand was surprisingly warm against your skin, and if his touch lingered even a moment longer, you were certain your cheeks would be hotter than the soup you were drinking. You nodded quickly, trying to brush off the heat rising to your face.

“Are you sure? It feels like you’re getting warmer,” Kai said, his voice tinged with concern.

Embarrassed, you pushed his hand away, the warmth of his touch still lingering. “It’s probably just the summer heat.”

“You sure?” he asked, still looking worried.

You nodded again, trying to sound more convincing. “Yep.”

“Hold on, you have a little…” He leaned in and gently used his thumb to wipe a small crumb from your lip.

The unexpected touch of his thumb against your lip sent a jolt through you. Startled by the sudden closeness and the tender gesture, you fumbled with the bowl of soup. In your flustered state, your hand slipped, and the bowl tipped over. 

You abruptly stood up, wincing as a sharp, stinging pain shot through your foot. “Fuck,” you cursed under your breath, your voice tinged with frustration.

Kai’s face immediately filled with concern. He hurriedly rushed over to your side of the table, reaching for the spilled food and trying to help you clean up. “Are you okay?” he asked, his tone anxious.

“I’m good!” you said quickly, trying to push his hands away. You didn’t want him to see how flustered and embarrassed you were. His touch was warm, but right now, you just wanted to avoid any more attention.

You noticed a flicker of hurt in his eyes before you shook your head, trying to reassure him. “I didn’t mean to—I just—I should go get this cleaned up.” You quickly made your way to the bathroom, your heart pounding as you tried to escape the situation.

You heard Kai’s footsteps follow closely behind you. As you entered the bathroom, he called out, “The first aid’s under the sink.” There was a sigh in his voice, a mixture of frustration and concern. “You sure you’re okay?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you through the closed door. “Yep,” you called back, trying to sound more confident than you felt.

Silence continued between the two of you as you carefully bandaged your scalded thigh. The faint rustling of Kai’s movements outside the door made it clear he was still there, waiting.

Then, you heard him whisper, almost too softly to catch, “There’s something wrong between us.”

You stayed silent, not trusting yourself to respond.

A moment later, his voice grew a bit louder as he repeated, “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yep.” You replied.

“You sure we’re okay?” Kai’s voice softened.

You didn’t answer, letting the silence stretch between you. Each second felt like an eternity, your mind racing as you tried to gather your thoughts. You could hear the faint rustling of Kai’s movements outside the door.

Finally, you took a deep breath and emerged from the bathroom, the bandage awkwardly wrapped around your leg. Kai stood there, looking at you with a mixture of worry and something else you couldn’t quite place.

“Sorry about that,” you said, forcing a smile. “It’s just a minor burn. Nothing to worry about.”

Kai’s eyes softened, though he still looked concerned. “It’s not just about the burn, is it?” He stepped closer, his gaze searching yours. “Something’s been off for a while now. I can’t help but feel like you’re distancing yourself from me.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, the vulnerability of the moment making it hard to speak. “It’s complicated,” you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotions lately, and I didn’t want to drag you into it.”

Kai’s expression shifted from concern to understanding, and he reached out, gently touching your arm. “You don’t have to go through things alone. If something’s wrong, I want to be here for you. I care about you too much to let things stay this way.”

His words struck a chord, and you felt your resolve begin to crumble. The warmth of his hand on your arm, combined with the sincerity in his eyes, made it hard to hold back your feelings.

“I—” you started, but the words caught in your throat. You looked down, struggling to find the right way to express what you were feeling. “I just… I didn’t want to make things awkward or complicated.”

Kai shook his head slightly, his gaze never leaving yours. "Please,” he whispered. “Just let me share the pain you're going through."

You met his eyes, finally allowing yourself to be vulnerable. “I… I care about you a lot, Kai. More than I thought I could.”

Kai’s expression softened further, and he took a step closer. “I care about you too.”

He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand the implication of what you were trying to say—that you liked him. That you cared about him differently from how you cared about Beomgyu and Taehyun.

You forced a smile. “Thank you. Let’s get back out there.” You nudged his shoulder.

He shook his head. “No.” He gently pulled you back, stopping you in your tracks.

“Kai…”

“No,” he repeated, his grip firm but gentle, careful not to hurt you. He guided you to the wall and leaned you against it softly. “I don’t want to leave it like this. I don’t know what this is, but I don’t feel like we’re okay.”

“We are.”

“You’re lying,” he sighed.

“I’m not—”

“Your eyes,” Kai said softly, “they tell me everything I need to know.”

“Are they telling you anything else?” you asked, your frustration clearly showing. “Since you know me so well, can you read anything else in my eyes?”

“Why are you getting mad at me?” Kai asked, his voice getting slightly louder, confusion and hurt in his voice.

“Because!” you snapped, your voice rising with anger. “Because!”

“Because what?!” Kai shouted back, his own frustration surfacing. “It’s like you don’t even want me around anymore!”

“And who said that? Stop assuming everything about me!” you yelled, your voice trembling with emotion. “Stop acting like you know everything about me!”

“Don’t I?!” he exclaimed, frustration evident in his tone.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “You’re always going on about how much you know me, but do you really? You can’t even—” You paused, the words caught in your throat.

“Can’t even what? Notice that you’re avoiding me?” Kai’s voice was tinged with hurt and confusion.

The room was charged with tension. Your heart raced as you faced each other, your eyes locked with his despite your desperate urge to look away. His voice dripped with anger, and his eyes shimmered with a deep, wounded hurt. 

“Have you or have you not been avoiding me?” Kai asked, his voice dropping to a deeper, more serious tone.

“I wasn’t igno—”

“You’re lying.”

“I wasn’t intentionally ignoring you,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, filled with apprehension.

Kai’s shoulders slumped in defeat, his voice cracking with vulnerability. “W-why? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Listen, whatever I did, I’m sorry—”

"You didn’t do anything." You sighed, burying your face in your hands.

"Then... why have you been avoiding me?" Kai gently pulled your hands away from your face, lifting your chin so you’d meet his gaze. His eyes searched yours.

“I–”

"You don’t think I’ve noticed? How you've barely been texting me, or the group? We used to talk every day. And now, for the past two weeks, it’s just been me... constantly asking about you. And the only person who seems to know anything is Beomgyu. Not even me." His voice cracked with frustration. "It used to be us. Just the two of us against everything. But now—"

“I—I’ve been going through some things on my own. You don’t have to know everything about me, Kai,” you said, your tone sharper than intended.

It almost felt ironic, and just as infuriating, that he stood there acting as if he truly understood you, when he didn’t even realize the most important thing—your feelings. 

“We’re supposed to be best friends. What happened to being friends till we grow old?” Kai’s voice cracked, as if the weight of the words would somehow pull you back to him.

“Some of us don’t want that,” you snapped, your self-restraint finally shattering. The words left your lips before you could stop them, sharp and unforgiving.

Kai froze, staring at you in disbelief. The hurt in his eyes was unmistakable. Slowly, the grip he still had on your arm loosened, his hands falling to his sides, as though the very act of holding on had become too heavy.

“Kai—” you sighed, realizing your words had gone too far.

“No. I’m—I—” he cut you off, sighing heavily as he pushed his hair back. “I’m an idiot.”

“Kai—” you tried again, your voice softer, unsure of how to fix what had just happened.

He stayed silent, inching away from you slowly. Then, without a word, he knelt down to look at your injured leg. “Feel better,” he murmured, gently tracing the edge of the hasty bandage wrapped around your thigh.

He stood up to walk away, the silence between you growing heavier with each step. But just as he turned, your frustration finally boiled over, pushing you past the breaking point. You couldn't hold it in any longer.

With a voice raw and desperate, you shouted, “I LIKE YOU!” Your eyes were wide and your chest heaved with the effort of the outburst. The words seemed to crackle in the air, and your hands clenched into fists at your sides, trembling slightly as the intensity of your emotions took hold.

Kai froze in his tracks, his back still turned to you. The air between you crackled with the weight of your confession, the echo of your words hanging in the silence. You stood there, heart racing, unable to believe you had actually said it.

Slowly, Kai turned to face you, his eyes wide with shock and something else you couldn’t quite place—hope, maybe? Confusion? Possibly.

You swallowed hard, “I—I didn’t mean to shout,” you stammered. “But I’ve been holding it in for so long, and I just… I didn’t know how else to say it.”

Kai’s expression softened, his brows furrowing as he processed your words. “You like me?” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he wasn’t sure he heard you right.

You nodded, “I just thought if I kept my distance, maybe it would go away… but it didn’t.”

He took a tentative step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I was scared,” you admitted, your voice trembling as you spoke. Your hands fidgeted, fingers twisting nervously. “Scared that it would ruin everything between us. Scared you wouldn’t feel the same. And the blind date that Taehy—”

“It wasn’t even that serious to begin with, my sisters were just sick of hearing me complain about–well about you.” he interrupted, his tone gentle but firm. He took a step closer, his expression softening as he reached out, his hand almost brushing yours.

“Me?” 

Kai let out a breath, his shoulders relaxing as the tension between you began to fade. “I never knew,” he said softly, taking another step closer. “But… you didn’t have to be scared. I—”

He hesitated, his voice catching in his throat, before finally meeting your gaze. “I like you too.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. Oh,” Kai mumbled, awkwardly scratching the back of his head, clearly unsure of what to do next.

You laughed, the tension breaking slightly. “No one ever tells you what to do after… a confession.”

Kai chuckled softly. “I figured Beomgyu might know what to do. He’s been egging me on to tell you how I feel.”

“He has?” you asked, surprised.

Kai nodded, and a brief silence settled between the two of you, heavy but not uncomfortable. Finally, he spoke again. “I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?” you asked, confused.

“I should’ve told you sooner, when I had the chance. I didn’t realize that keeping it in would hurt you, and that was never my intention.” His voice softened, regret evident in every word.

“That makes the two of us,” you giggled shyly. “Well, I wasn’t exactly broadcasting my single status and going on blind dates, but still—” you teased playfully.

“For the record,” Kai said, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish grin, “my sisters were only sick of me complaining about how much I like you and how much of a coward I am for not telling you.”

“Oh. What exactly have you been complaining about?” You teased.

Kai’s cheeks pinked, “N-nothing. Nothing important.”

“Really? You do know I have Hiyyih’s Insta. I could probably just ask her myself,” you said with a mischievous grin.

“You wouldn’t.”

You nodded, a playful glint in your eye. “I absolutely would. So it’s either you give me a summarized version and keep the details to yourself, or I get the 100% detailed account from Hiyyih.”

“It’s not even—I just… you have to promise me you won’t laugh. Or make fun of me.”

“Promise.” You said, pretending to zip your lips with a playful wink. 

Your eyes were filled with genuine adoration for the man standing before you. His vulnerability was written all over his face, and it only made your heart swell. Your gaze softened, allowing the affection you'd kept hidden for so long to shine through. After years of bottling up your feelings, you could finally show them, even if only a little.

“Well, uh… this is so embarrassing,” he mumbled quietly to himself, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “I’d tell them how… uh… pretty you looked every time we went out together,” he said slowly.

“Uh-huh…” You nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“And I’d tell them how you didn’t deserve the guys you were dating. How they were all assholes,” he went on, his voice growing louder and more passionate as he gained confidence with each word.

“And I’d tell them how much you deserve someone who genuinely loves you, someone who knows how funny you are, how quiet you get when you’re overanalyzing something, how loud you become when you're passionate, and how loving and protective you are to the people who matter to you.” He gulped, his voice shaking with emotion.

“How… much I deserved you,” he finished, his gaze searching yours.

You stood there, feeling a rush of warmth flood your cheeks. Your mind raced, but no words came. All you could manage was a soft, hesitant “Umm…”

Kai’s gaze was fixed on you, a mixture of hope and apprehension in his eyes. Seeing your struggle to find the right words, he took a deep breath and gently took your hands in his. 

You hated to admit it, but Kai seemed to be winning the confession game you had inadvertently started.

As his words settled, you found yourself slowly leaning in, your heart racing with a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation. Kai’s eyes fluttered shut, and he met you halfway. His lips gently brushed against yours, the kiss starting soft and tentative.

Your hands gripped his, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened. You felt Kai’s arms wrap around your waist, guiding you gently against the wall.

“God, I like you so much,” he whispered into the kiss.

Just as you were losing yourself in the moment, the abrupt sound of the door slamming open ruined the moment the two of you had.

“WE’RE HOME!” 

Taehyun and Beomgyu burst into the room, their eyes widening in disbelief as they took in the sight of you and Kai locked in a kiss.

“What the—” Taehyun’s voice came out as a high-pitched yelp, his hand flying to his mouth in shock.

The room was filled with a jumble of screams—your and Kai’s shocked cries mixing with Taehyun’s and Beomgyu’s high-pitched shouts. The noise was deafening, with each of you trying to out-scream the other. 

“YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HOME!” you yelled.

“THE GUYS AT THE TOWING COMPANY SENT US HOME BECAUSE THEY LIKED ME! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!” Taehyun shouted back.

“DO YOU EVER KNOCK?!” Kai yelled at the two of them.

“THIS IS A SHARED APARTMENT, YOU IDIOT!” Beomgyu countered.

“Enough about us! What the heck are you two doing? Spit-swapping in front of us like that?” Taehyun yelled.

You and Kai stood there, red-faced and speechless, your hands still intertwined but your mouths firmly shut. The embarrassment was palpable as you both tried to avoid eye contact, your cheeks burning with the sudden realization of being caught.

“We—uh…”

“We—”

The two of you glanced at each other, then back at Taehyun and Beomgyu.

“We…”

“Spit it out!” Beomgyu rolled his eyes, clearly impatient.

“We like each other?” Kai managed to fumble out, his voice trembling slightly.

At that moment, the room erupted into a new kind of chaos. Taehyun and Beomgyu, now visibly relieved and overjoyed, screamed with happiness.

“FINALLY!” Taehyun shouted, his voice a mix of triumph and excitement. “I KNEW IT!”

“Oh my god!” Beomgyu exclaimed, clapping his hands together in delight. “We can finally sleep in peace!”

“No more emo Huening Kai nights!”

“No more sad songs!”

Beomgyu and Taehyun grabbed each other’s hands, jumping in circles and celebrating for reasons you couldn’t quite grasp.

“Emo Huening Kai nights?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Every time you went out on a date with someone, Kai would come home with this sad look on his face,” Taehyun explained. “He wouldn’t want to play any games or do anything fun.”

“He’d just pout, act like a baby, order Chinese takeout, and then moan about how the guy you were dating didn’t deserve you,” Beomgyu continued, trying to hold back his laughter.

You looked at Kai, who was now blushing deeply and rolling his eyes in mock annoyance. “Well, that explains a lot,” you said, chuckling.

“When you both explain it like that, it makes me sound pathetic,” Kai said, shaking his head.

“But it was pathetic?” Beomgyu asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I think it’s cute,” you said with a smile.

“Gross,” Beomgyu said, scrunching up his face in mock disgust. “Wait, does this mean we’ll have to see this more often? GROSS!”

“I can’t believe Huening found a girl before us,” Taehyun sighed, shaking his head in disbelief.

“It’s possible that the two of you lack a certain charisma,” Kai replied with a teasing grin.

“Oh, and you have it?” Taehyun laughed, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I do have the world’s greatest girlfriend,” Kai said, glancing at you with a proud smile.

“Girlfriend?” You teased, your eyes twinkling with mischief. “Who said anything about me being your girlfriend?”

Kai’s face turned a shade redder as he stammered, “Well, I—I just thought—”

“Thought what?” you interrupted, a playful smirk on your lips. “That I’d be your girlfriend even if you didn’t ask? I’m not that easy.”

“I’m sorry,” Beomgyu interjected, “You’re a little confident right now. Aren’t you the same girl who messaged me about how Kai looked like he had the most pillowy, kissable lips you’d ever seen?”

Your cheeks heated up. “CHOI BEOMGYU!”

“Oh, and also that cute little private TikTok you did after you cried over Kai…? Really cute,” Beomgyu continued, his grin widening.

In a desperate bid to stop him from revealing more, you clenched your fists and lunged at Beomgyu. You jumped onto his back and covered his mouth with your hands, muffling his voice before he could spill any more secrets. 

Taehyun and Kai erupted into giggles, but Kai's laughter suddenly faltered as he realized, “Wait… what TikTok?”

“She did a TikTok where—” Beomgyu started, but you quickly shoved your hands over his mouth, pressing down firmly to silence him.

Unfortunately, Beomgyu was way stronger than you. With one swift move, he had you slung over his shoulder, your legs flailing as you tried to wriggle free.

“Fine. I won’t tell. Yet,” Beomgyu said with a mischievous grin.

[my-pjo-stuff]

At this point everyone and their mother know that I'm a proud German and like to bring in fun stuff or specific things about my country up once in a while. Generally I'm trying to stir away from it, seeing as this is my PJO blog and I don't want to bore you all. But I think it's time to play my "As a German" card and say that the PJO fandom needs to take the words "fascist", "eugenicist" and "nazi" out of their collective vocabulary. Now I don't think I need to explain what those things have to do with my country. I will however explain the fact that German children tend to me made very aware of the meaning of those words. We learn about our history and the crimes committed. We learn about the past ideologies of the Third Reich and how to dismantle them. I especially have grown up being very sensitive to these things, as my parents have placed great importance on me understanding the whole of my country's history. That includes the Third Reich.

And as such to say that I am frankly horrified at the way the PJO fandom treats these very loaded terms is an underestimate. I have seen multiple different people comparing Luke and the TA to Nazis, saying they are eugenicists or even fascists.

Which is just genuinly so harmful because they are not.

I won't go into the specifics of the way they are not because it would go beyond the scope of this post while also being very easily searchable simply by googling the definition of the aforementioned words.

Using labels such as "Nazi", "Eugenicist" and "Fascist" on people and things that are not waters the term down a lot. Which is genuinely harmful because there very much are still IRL people with those beliefs! We cannot allow ourselves to forget the true horror of these words, because that would allow these horrors to return. If every villain starts being a "nazi"- then how can we recognize the actual nazi?

This fandom seems to love the "fiction has an impact on real life" argument. As a German I am genuinely asking you to apply this here. Now don't get me wrong- it's fine to point out these ideologies and practices in fiction aswell as parallels should they be found. I myself pointed out how Camp Jupiter's Wolfhouse is borderline eugenicist- but you NEED to do your proper research first. There are plenty of other valid ways to criticize characters, especially Luke, if you want to do it. But calling him these names is just genuinely harmful.

Please be careful using these words, and remember who and what stands behind them.

[wachi-delectrico]

Have you ever wanted to see your fursona smoke a big blunt? a fat doobie?? a huge joint??? Well I have the solution for you

Animated smoking YCH! Any species. US$35, payment via Paypal invoice only. You get the animation in .gif format, including a transparent .gif version for all your funny weed needs (ask about other formats)

(¡Si sos de Argentina, te lo llevás a AR$6000!)

5 slots available at the moment. Dm me if you're interested, either through here or through Telegram. Reblogging helps a ton! 💓💖

[gabe-lovebot]

councilor 3D model

i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him

[link]

please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)

currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.

[genshin-projection]

i took a few liberties but... Sunday-inspired playlist!

some highlights:

master of the heavenly yard (off-vocal) (mothy/akuno-P)

portrait of the pirate F (hitoshizuku-p)

rock in god's shoe (sushi soucy)

worst case scenario (the hoosiers)

but never a key (dirt poor robins)

hello my old heart (the oh hellos)

rule #35 - microphone (fish in a birdcage)

into the unknown (over the garden wall)

collared (vane lily)

taixu (sasakure.uk , lasah)

ship in a bottle (fin)

a couple ender lilies OSTs

a few omori OSTs

a few hsr (penacony) OSTs

[esteebarnes94]

Darby Fanart

Darby is a character from a joint story by @majormeilani (who owns this character) and their sister micechicken (who I won't tag as not to bother her). Anyways, I'll admit when I was on my old account I did come across their story Sunshine and thought it was really cool, so when I made this account I decided to practice my digital drawing skills on Darby!

Goes without saying, but no reposting, editing, claiming (the art, I mean, obviously the OC isn't mine), tracing, or using for any program, NFT, or AI.

Anyways yeah Darby is super cool I like her.

[novelconcepts]

i don't make resolutions, but if i did

it would be to finish this fic

(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)

[bisexualmaedhros]

transfem furries hornyposting online about the relatively niche/"out there" things they're into have inadvertently helped me accept myself more than the body positivity movement of the 2010s ever did

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

I don't not mean this offensively at all but is blows my mind that you are a lawyer but also writing jjk fics bc I work at a law firm and cannot for the life of me imagine any of the lawyers that work there writing fanfiction LOL kudos to u seriously I know how busy schedues can get due to court dates haha

im working in like. big city criminal law stuff right now and have been told by people in my office that i come off as a very deadpan and straight-laced legal nerd so i don't think the people who know me from my attorney life are imagining me writing jjk fanfic in my free time either

[there-will-be-a-way]

It's wild growing up as a socially awkward child with little friends and then becoming popular in literally every group setting as an adult

[magentagalaxies]

if you'd told me last year when i was in production meetings for other girls, an indie project with literally $0 in our budget that was a struggle to push across the finish line every step of the way, that my next major project would contain the credits "executive producers paul bellini and bruce mcculloch" i would not have believed it but yeah it's happening!!!

[giantkillerjack]

Thank you, younger me, for drawing so many things in which the lines were never quite right. It is quite literally the only reason I ever figured out how to get them right.

[ame-to-ame]

Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭