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bloomshroomz · 3 months

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Aroallos are often treated as inherently "more sexual" than other allosexuals. Here's why that assumption happens, and why it's bullshit.

Relationships are often treated as inherently hierarchical and strictly defined, due to amatonormativity and a-spec erasure. It usually goes something like this:

You can't have sex without romance. Sex is "dirty" and needs to be "balanced out" or "justified" with romance. Sex is exclusively physically stimulating, and therefore shallow, unless done in emotional service to romance.

Wanting to have sex with people outside of a romantic context is seen as "using" people, inherently. You're "using" them for their body, because you "don't care enough" to love them romantically. Your desires are deemed to be inherently predatory.

You can't have romance without sex. Romance needs to be "justified" with sex, otherwise it's "just platonic."

Wanting romance without sex is seen as "failing" your partner.

Sex and romance are to happen exclusively between two people.

Romantic relationships are more important than all other relationships, except for maybe family. And remember, sex is strictly confined to romance, which therefore means that sex is also more important than nonsexual/nonromantic connection.

Friendships are always less important than romance, and therefore, less important than sex as well. They exist at the bottom of the hierarchy. That's why we have phrases like "more than friends" to describe romance.

In other words, sex = romance, and sex/romance > friendship.

When you take away the romantic elements, you're left with this:

Romance is no longer there to "balance out/justify" the sex, making the sex apparently "more sexual" and "more dirty" and "less emotional" than it would be if it were romantic.

Your sexual desires are deemed inherently predatory.

Sex takes precedent over friendship and nonromantic emotional intimacy in the original hierarchy. Therefore, sex must take precedent over all forms of emotional connection if you're interested in sex without romance, and sex also cannot spark emotional stimulation or connection on its own.

Due to the previous points, you get reduced to a largely "physical" creature, with few or no emotional needs or desires. You are also assumed to disregard the emotional needs and desires of others.

Friendships are still less important than sex. So, even if your friends are the people you're having sex with, it's implied that you don't care about your friends, and you only value them for their bodies. Sex is an insult to your friendships.

Of course, this is bullshit. All of these "rules" are bullshit.

This is how it actually works:

You can have sex without romance. Sex is not "dirty" does not need to be "balanced out" or "justified" by romance. Sex can be emotionally stimulating and fulfilling without romance (though it doesn't have to be, and that's also fine).

There is nothing predatory about having sexual desires/intent without romantic desires/intent. There is nothing predatory about having sex outside of romance, so long as everyone consents.

You can have romance without sex. Romance does not need to be "justified" via sex.

You are not "failing" your partner by not wanting to have sex. You might be sexually incompatible if sex is something they want, but that is not "failure" on anyone's part.

Sex and romance can happen between as many people as you like, as long as everyone is on the same page about things.

Romantic relationships, as well as familial relationships, are not inherently more important than any other type of relationship.

Friendships are not inherently less important than other types of relationships. There is no inherent hierarchy.

Sex is not an insult to friendship. Having sex with your friends does not mean you only value them for their body.

Wanting sex without romance does not inherently mean that sex takes precedent over everything else. For some people, it does, and that's fine. But that's not usually the case, and it should not be assumed to be the case.

Quoting some stuff from myself and others:

People tend to assume that aroallos are always hypersexual, or always loveless, or always prioritize sex above all else when it comes to their relationships with people. And all of those things are valid experiences, but they don't apply to me personally. I've been trying to put it into words... People think that a lack of romantic attraction necessitates an amplified sexual attraction. Like just because I'm aro, I must be "more sexual" than other allosexual people. It seems like people think sexuality has to be "balanced out" with romance. But I'm not particularly sexual; I'm just not ace. [...] there's nothing wrong with prioritizing or emphasizing sexuality. But that's not an inherent aspect of being aroallo, and it doesn't describe me personally. The primary purpose of my relationships is emotional connection. Sex is just a cool thing that I may or may not do with people.

- Myself [Feb. 1, 2024]

I hate that when I announce that I'm aro, but not ace, people are like "yes fuck nasty I respect it 😏😏" like okay girl sure I do that but do you think I don't experience longing for human connection ? You heard non/aromantic and thought "wow, you must be so good with one night stands no emotional attachment whatsoever". Like no, I still (and you're not gonna believe this guys) care about the people I may or may not sleep with ?? Hello ??

- max-nicoxposts [June 4, 2024]

Alloaro culture is always being expected to either be asexual or hypersexual; nuance was something meant for others I suppose.

- Anon [May 28, 2024]

Aroalo culture is someone assuming I'm ace when I say I'm aro, and when I say I'm actually aro and bi they react with "so you're just a predator"

- Anon [May 27, 2024]

there's nothing wrong with being a man and wanting to sleep with men and not date them. it doesn't make you proof queer men are sex-crazed. there's nothing wrong with being a woman and wanting to sleep with women and not date them. it doesn't make you proof queer women are predatory. being alloaro doesn't make you a derogatory stereotype. you deserve respect, no matter what

- pansyboybloom [Jan. 16, 2024]

So much of the arophobia directed towards aromantic heterosexual men seems to be rooted in willful ignorance about what aromanticism actually is and how allosexual aromanticism differs from sexual objectification. Aromanticism is experiencing little to no romantic attraction towards others. That’s it. It isn’t the same as sending unsolicited dick picks to strangers or reducing women to their bodies. When a misogynistic man disregards a woman’s personhood in favor of treating her as a sexual object, it isn’t because he doesn’t experience romantic attraction to women. It’s because he chooses not to value women as people.

- heartless-aro [Dec. 30, 2023] [I highly recommend reading the full post. I only included one section here due to length.]

and if you're aromantic, you also have to be asexual. because sex without romance is immoral and dirty and abusive. and every aroallo is an invader who's trying to destroy your perfect, pure, sex-negative aspec community. if an aromantic is not asexual, they are not a valid aromantic. if you've ever found yourself wondering why aplatonics and aroallos alike have their own small communities instead of just being a part of the wider aspec community, this is why. you drove us away. and your acceptence of aromanticism is still entirely conditional.

- thermodynamic-comedian [May 29, 2024] [also recommend reading the full post]

#aroallo #alloaro #aromantic #aro #aromanticism #aromanticity #arospec #aro spec #aro spectrum #aromantic spectrum #aromantic allosexual #allosexual aromantic #aspec #arophobia #aromisia #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer

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sincerelyyuu · 5 months

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"in the end, it's still you." p1. • gojo satoru & geto suguru

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ synopsis: you thought having your two best friends satoru and suguru by your side was all that you needed to get through the rough times. but slowly you find satoru slipping through your fingers and suguru tries his hardest to help pick up the pieces of your wounded heart ➼ pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader, geto suguru x fem!reader ➼ content/tw: angst angst angst, sfw, fluff if you squint, s2 spoilers, teen!gojo and teen!geto during jujutsu tech days, both boys are hopelessly in love with bestfriend!reader, pet names, reader is also a sorcerer in the same year and is unaware of their romantic feelings ➼ wc: 2.8K words ➼ a/n: my first jjk fic! let me know how i did ♡ ➼ part one, part two, part three

The life of a sorcerer isn’t for the faint hearted. You found yourself spending your days constantly training, pushing your physical body to its limit. The way your skin crawled from the constant bloodshed that came with every curse you exorcised. The constant criticisms that came from the people around you to become even stronger weighing heavily on your mind.

The pressure was beginning to take a huge toll on you. You felt like you as an individual didn’t matter, your thoughts and feelings deemed irrelevant all in the name of saving others.

However, there were always two people that always made you feel seen.

Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru.

It all began when you were enrolled into Jujutsu High during your first year. Leaving behind the secluded town that you once called home, you were completely alone. Knowing what was expected from you, you were told that you were strictly here to become the strongest sorcerer you could be.

But fate had other plans for you. From the day you first stepped into the classroom, Satoru immediately gravitated to you. He knew you were strong and that there was more to you than meets the eye. You also peaked Suguru’s interest from the way you steeled yourself in an attempt to not reveal too much of your inner self. Somehow along the way through various missions and a multitude of adventures, the two men managed to crack away at your defenses and you found yourself in this trio of friendship. Wherever you went, they were right behind you.

Satoru and Suguru were like yin and yang, both physically and metaphorically. The white haired male carried an air of confidence wherever he went. He was the type to never take things too seriously unless truly necessary and he never failed to find ways to make you smile with corny jokes or embarrassing stories. Like that time he nearly burnt the dorm down trying to boil an egg (the reason why he’s banned from the kitchen and why Suguru is in charge of cooking meals).

Meanwhile, the raven haired male was the most level headed between you three. Every move and action he made was always thought through carefully. Although he didn’t necessarily encourage Satoru’s endless shenanigans (and by default yours as well as his), Suguru never hesitated to come to the rescue for you both. Life as a sorcerer didn’t seem so bad anymore if it meant having these two by your side.

Until you didn’t.

“Toru, let’s get dinner with Suguru!”

“Sorry sweets, I have a mission right after this but I’m all yours next time!”

“Hey man, are you still down for hanging at (y/n)’s dorm later?”

“Can’t. They’re sending me off to deal with this one curse they couldn’t handle. Luckily they have the strongest to handle it!”

The stronger Satoru became over the years, the more he went solo on missions, and the less time you found yourself seeing him. Instead of taking on missions as a trio, you found yourself more often going with just Suguru. Having him by your side made it a little easier, but you had to admit that you were missing Satoru’s presence. You could tell it was affecting Suguru too based on how quiet and reserved he was becoming.

“Toru?” you called, phone pressed to your ear. “Where are you? You were supposed to get back from your mission half an hour ago. The food is getting cold.”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. This curse is taking longer to exorcise than expected. I’ll join you guys next time,” Satoru sighed over the call. He was on guard and in the middle of tracking down this special grade curse when you had called. But he never hesitated to drop everything for you even if he was in the middle of a dangerous mission.

“You said that last time…”

Satoru swore he felt his heart break listening to the disappointment in your voice. Guilt settled into his chest as he ran a tired hand through his snowy locks with a frown. If it were up to him, he’d abandon his mission in a heartbeat to be by your side but he knew he couldn’t. It killed him to know he was making you sad because you didn’t deserve that.

“I know. I’m sorry, sweets. I promise I’ll make it up to you and treat you to the best dinner you’ll ever have later. Say hi to Suguru for me, okay?” he responded softly, doing his best to soften the hurt you were feeling.

With a hum, you tried your best to sound happy over the phone. “I will. Just… come back safe, okay?”

“Always,” Satoru promised. With much restraint, he forced himself to hang up the phone.

With that, your arm fell limply at your side with your phone clenched tightly in your hand. Suguru watched the forced smile fall from your face, the disappointment evident as clear as day as you fell into a daze. Without you even saying anything, he knew his best friend had once again canceled plans. He knew that Satoru didn’t have a choice in the matter but it was still heartbreaking to see the effects that it had on you.

Suguru wasn’t blind. He suspected that your feelings for Satoru extended far beyond friendship, which made his own feelings for you that much worse knowing you were possibly in love with his best friend and not him.

You barely processed the way Suguru softly called out to you, only jumping in surprise when he placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Sorry, Sugu. I didn’t even see you walk over to me. Toru says hi,” you offered a small apologetic smile to the tall man who only smiled reassuringly to you.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry for scaring you. I take it that lunch will just be us?” he hummed, feeling his heart clench at your weak nod.

With a deep sigh, he opened his arms. “C’mere.”

Without a second to spare, you immediately wrapped your arms around him and buried your face into his sturdy chest. His cologne always had a way of grounding you, the scent of sandalwood and bergamot filling your senses. You didn’t realize how tense you were until you felt your body melt into his embrace. Suguru wrapped an arm around your middle and placed a gentle hand behind your head holding you close.

“You know he would be here if he could,” he consoled.

“I know. I just miss him a lot. It’s been so long since we last saw him since he’s constantly away on missions,” you mumbled against his chest.

“At least I’m here, right? Unless you hate my company,” he lightly joked in an attempt to make you feel better.

It seemed to have worked because you leaned back in his embrace with a chuckle and looked up with those kind eyes of yours. God, he loved your eyes. “I could never hate you, Sugu.”

Feeling his heart race with your words, Suguru gently patted the top of your head with a chuckle, “Good girl.”

You felt extremely lucky to have Suguru by your side. It seemed like he always knew the right words to say. You took a moment to take in his face and your expression immediately fell.

Amongst your sadness, you failed to realize how exhausted he looked. Hues of purple and blue lingered below his eyes like he didn’t sleep in days. He had some new scratches on his face, probably from the many missions he had taken on this week alone. His eyes, although warm at you, looked distant as if he wasn’t completely here. He had also lost a considerable amount of weight.

How selfish of you to see that you weren’t the only one struggling. You knew Riko’s and Haibara’s death greatly affected Suguru and you tried your best to support him. Perhaps you weren't trying hard enough.

“When was the last time you slept?” you frowned, brushing your fingers to gently grace over his eyebags.

Suguru felt his heart quicken at your touch, feeling his neck begin to warm. Coughing to clear his throat, he reached up to remove your hand from his face and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I slept last night.”

“For how long?” you pressed.

He gave a nonchalant shrug, holding his chin in pretend thought. “A few hours maybe.”

Your lips pressed into a thin line. You knew he was lying to probably make you feel better but it only worsened your worries. Huffing, you grabbed his hand and dragged him over to your bed before forcing him to lay down. You went to pack up the unforgotten lunch, neither of you having much of an appetite anymore.

“Sleep,” you ordered, peering over your shoulder at him with hands on your hips like a mother scolding her child. “Take a nap. I’ll wake you up later before we head out.”

“Only if you nap with me.”

Turning to look at the dark haired sorcerer in shock, he only smirked back in response as he laid on his back with one hand behind his head and the other extended to you in invitation.

You bit your lip. Was it appropriate to lie in bed with him, your best friend? You, Satoru and Suguru have had sleepovers before but they always insisted on you having the bed while they slept on the floor (although that didn’t stop Satoru from trying to share the bed with you anyway which usually ended with Suguru dragging his ass down).

Looking at Suguru, you knew he would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. Feeling the dull ache in your bones and your tired muscles weighing you down, your body moved on its own before gingerly laying next to him, your arms pressed firmly against your chest as you laid a few inches away from him to give him space.

Letting out an exaggerated yawn, Suguru suddenly pulled you tightly against him as you let out a small yelp in surprise. He placed a kiss on the top of your head, setting his chin on top before closing his eyes in content.

You felt your heart race at his actions, a gesture you were used to from him but suddenly felt much more intimate in this position. Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to focus on the steady rhythm of his heartbeat to calm the erratic pace of yours.

As a calm comfortable silence eventually ensued between you both, you found your thoughts drifting off to Satoru again. He had been gone for at least five days on this current mission. Was he eating well? Was he getting enough sleep? What if he was hurt? What if something happened and he needed help?

But you knew Satoru was too prideful to ask for help, insisting that he was the strongest and didn’t need anyone. It was true. He wasn’t called the strongest jujutsu sorcerer in the modern age for nothing. However, you refused to let him take on the world alone because… your world was better with him in it.

“Suguru…” you called out quietly in case he was already asleep.

“What is it, pretty?” he hummed in response. He hadn’t fallen asleep yet.

“Do you ever get tired of being a sorcerer?”

Slowly opening his eyes, Suguru shifted so that he was laying directly next to you. Now at eye level with you, he saw just how drained you were. The sparkle that usually glimmered brightly in your eyes had now reduced to a dull flicker. He hadn’t expect you to ask that question so out of the blue. Mentally, for some time he struggled with where his beliefs stood. What did it mean to be a sorcerer and most importantly, why?

“Because I do.”

It took a few seconds for him to register the words that left your mouth. He watched as you tried to blink away tears, your small hands clenching the front of his shirt within your fists as you looked away shamefully.

“I miss how we used to be back when I first came to Jujutsu High, before we got so busy. I miss when you, Satoru and I would sneak out the dorms to get that kikufuku that he likes. I miss going to that cute cat cafe in Tokyo, the one where the kittens love swatting at your hair. I miss going to the night markets and eating until we nearly pass out into food comas.”

“I know that it’s my moral duty to protect non-sorcerers. That’s why jujutsu sorcerers like us exist. But Sugu, it’s so hard. Everyday I feel like I’m losing myself because it's a constant cycle of wake up, train, exorcise, sleep and repeat. I know I don’t have to worry about Satoru because he can hold his own so I try my best to be strong. For him, for you, and for me. I have to be strong but how strong do I have to be before I can finally breathe?”

By the end of your vent, you didn’t realize you were crying. Watching you in so much distress made Suguru’s chest twist. He desperately wished he could take away all of your pain and worries. Pulling your head back into his chest, he let you fall apart in his arms, whispering sweet nothings and comforting words into your ear as your body shook with the intensity of your sobs. After some time, your crying dwindled down to soft little sniffles.

“Run away with me.”

Silence. Suguru felt you stiffen at his words and watched as your eyes morphed into confusion. Your grip on his shirt loosened as you tried to process if you had heard him right. Staring into his brown eyes with not an ounce of a smile on his lips, you realized he was dead serious.

“Suguru, you’re joking, right?” you stuttered in disbelief.

“Does it look like I’m joking?” he replied, brushing the hair away from your eyes that was still damp from your previous tears.

“Hear me out. What if we could create a world where there were no more cursed spirits? No more having to put your life on the line for weak humans who spend every minute of their lives in ignorant bliss while you shed blood, sweat and tears daily for the sake of their so-called humanity.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at the somber tone the conversation took on. You frowned, “How exactly do we plan to do that? Is a world like that even possible?”

“I believe it is. My only wish is that you just trust me. Come with me,” he pleaded.

Suguru placed his large hand over your two small ones that still rested on his chest and gave them a small squeeze. He watched the various emotions run through your face as your eyes tormented over his request. He wasn’t completely sure if you’d give in to him but he’ll be damned if he didn’t at least try.

You didn’t know how to feel. Suguru was basically throwing you a lifeline to start over fresh and build a new life, a happier and free one. But you also knew it’d be dangerous. The moment you both disappear, you knew they’d send people out to find you both at all costs. You would have to leave everything and everyone you know behind. Everyone… including Satoru.

As if reading your thoughts, Suguru felt a pang of jealousy hit him. Even now, your thoughts were preoccupied on someone else instead of the man before you who would give his life for you. He knew you were thinking of his best friend, Gojo Satoru, the only other person in this world that understood him best other than you. But this was the one thing that he knew Satoru wouldn’t understand.

“I know you’re worried about him. Think of it this way. If we go, you’ll be able to protect him and ease his burden as the strongest sorcerer. He’ll be able to live the free life he deserves,” he coaxed you. “Isn’t that what you want?”

You thought over his words carefully before responding with hesitance.

“Of course that’s what I want. But Suguru, you’re asking for a whole lot and betting our lives on ‘what if’s. How long have you been thinking about this?” you questioned, your voice laden in deep concern.

“A while now,” he sighed, unable to meet your gaze for a minute before softening his eyes back at you.

“You don’t have to give me an answer now. I’ll respect any decision you make no matter what. For now, sleep on it and we can talk more about it after this mission to whatever village they’re sending us to tonight.”

Thoughts still heavily weighing on your mind, you relented. “...Okay.”

…

Nothing could have prepared Satoru for the words that left Yaga’s mouth the next day.

“112 killed by a cursed spirit revealed to be the work of Geto Suguru’s curse manipulation. Geto Suguru is hereby sentenced to death. (l/n) (y/n) has been deemed an accomplice in the crime and hereby also sentenced to death.”

divider credit: @/saradika-graphics

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chrollogy · 1 month

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SIGNED: LOVESICK FOOL #03

iwaizumi hajime x f!reader

masterlist

synopsis: After reading the new confession during his lecture, it takes all of Iwaizumi’s sanity not to get up, and leave in the middle of class, especially after coming to a conclusion that these confessions are indeed written by you.

chapter content warning: college au, fluff :3, friends to lovers, iwa is an impatient man !!, they’re kinda awkward, kissing omg, not beta read.

word count: 2.7k

notes: divider: cafekitsune. weee last chapter ! thank u sm for showing love n interest to this hehe this was totally an unplanned series so apologies if the pacing is meh :3

Oikawa was just teasing, Iwaizumi knew it but why did the brunette’s words fuck him up so bad? Did he finally succumb to his delusions for his friend’s words to make him overthink this bad? If anything, Iwaizumi should be completely rational about the whole situation since one wrong move would cost the price of your friendship.

A couple of days had passed since the former had shown him the confession, he’s been trying to act very indifferent over it despite those words from Oikawa but nothing helps when most—if not all—students were talking about dimples which were mentioned on the post.

Now that the anonymous submitter had specified their best friend’s features, students were on the prowl for anyone with dimples—which was exactly what Oikawa had done during that night in their shared dorm.

It repeated in his mind like a broken record, taking up most of its space, and leaving no room to even think of anything else. What would he do? What would Iwaizumi do if these confessions were actually from you?

As far as he knows, it’s strictly fifty-fifty as of now—a fifty percent chance that they were from you because as vague as the first confession was, the second somewhat mirrored yesterday’s events with you. But also a fifty percent chance that this was all an uncanny coincidence, and Iwaizumi was just overthinking it. After all, he didn’t want to jump into any conclusions without a concrete reason.

For now, he ruled it as a mere coincidence. Waiting for another confession to confirm anything would probably be the best idea here, though, of course, that was if you—or the real person behind these submissions—were going to send in another.

Iwaizumi didn’t want to admit it—especially to Oikawa—but he was kind of looking forward to the next confession, even going as far as turning on the notifications for the page. Embarrassing, he knows but for one to underestimate a yearning man was like walking into a fight determined to lose. Though, Iwaizumi wouldn’t even know how to approach the situation if he were to get the confirmation he needed; would he confront you about it? That wasn’t really his style to do so, he could already imagine how awkward it was going to be—tripping over his words, and all crimson-cheeked.

Oddly enough, your words back at the study room last week equally bothered Iwaizumi, he couldn’t specify what about it made him feel this way.

Nevermind that, he needed to focus on the lecture material at hand. Or at least he tried to.

He sat inside the vast lecture hall filled with students, it wasn’t too packed nor was it too empty, just enough to freely give Iwaizumi the pleasure of choosing a seat where he could quietly take notes but also maybe slack a bit without their professor noticing—a few rows back from the middle. It was always like this whenever a new semester started, all students would attend their lectures for about a week straight before the numbers dwindled where a majority of them would rather watch their lectures at the comfort of their room, leaving a fair number of students who actually attended in-person.

The professor’s monotonous voice echoed throughout the lecture theatre—into Iwaizumi’s ear, and out. Despite his interest in the topic at hand, he couldn’t take his mind off you. He figured he might have to rewatch the recorded lecture once he’s back at his dorm to jot down important concepts.

Iwaizumi managed to force himself to actually listen in, even if it was half-assed, though this was only effective for five minutes or so due to his phone vibrating inside his pocket. As if on cue, his mind immediately wandered to the confessions page, what if it was another submission from that anonymous—from you. His hand itched to dip inside his pocket, and check the notification but at the same time, Iwaizumi didn’t want to be more distracted than he already was.

His mind chalked it up to a text from either Oikawa or you but that didn’t really do much—even just the thought of getting a text from you made him all the more curious about this random notification.

Oh fuck it.

Unceremoniously dropping his pen onto the desk, it rolled off to the edge, finding its comfort atop the carpeted floors just beside his foot. He’d get that later. Iwaizumi sank further into his seat as if doing so would somewhat shield him from the embarrassment that engulfed his body; acting this way over something so little, Oikawa wouldn’t let him see the end of it for sure.

A stutter bloomed inside Iwaizumi’s chest as his dark emerald eyes read the notification title—it was from the page. They had posted a new confession just a few minutes ago. Without wasting any more time, his thumb flew over to the notification. Iwaizumi didn’t know he had been holding his breath after releasing it once he was met with a loading screen.

There was nothing to be afraid of, really.

After a few seconds, the screen finally loaded, Iwaizumi’s eyes immediately zeroed in on the bottom of the post, checking to see if it was submitted by the same anonymous sender. It read,

Signed: Lovesick Fool

A wave of excitement washed over his body at those familiar words. Iwaizumi had to physically stop himself from smiling like a whole idiot over this, his free hand coming up to over the lower half of his face, hoping that his fellow classmates couldn’t see how silly he looked. Putting on the most stoic expression he could muster, Iwaizumi began reading,

‘I know you’ve seen the other confessions I’ve written, and you’ll most likely see this too.’

He sucked in a breath. The professor’s voice spilled from the lecture theatre’s speakers but it was muffled, and soft, it faded into a sweet, thumping melody—the melody of Iwaizumi’s heart; he could hear nothing but the pounding of the beast confined in his ribcage.

‘This sounds really really pathetic but fuck, everything you do just makes me hopelessly in love with you. The way your eyes light up every time you talk about your interests, the way you get kinda mad at me for being reckless at times only because you care—the list could go on and on. I hope you know that I love you with all my heart and soul and that I would gladly make you as much agedashi tofu as you want.’

Iwaizumi’s eyes fixated on two words, agedashi tofu.

To many, that may seem like an irrelevant, misplaced piece of information—completely random—but to Iwaizumi, it meant everything because not only was that his favourite but it also confirmed his suspicions, that you were the one behind these popular confessions, and you had just confessed how in love you were with him.

This was too much to even be deemed a coincidence. Dimples. His favourite food.

Warmth—no, a searing blaze. That was the only thing Iwaizumi could feel right now, not even the pounding of his chest, not even the tremble of his hands, not even the shortness of his breath but the burning of a thousand stars—fiery. As though an azure flame had been born in the depths of his chest.

Iwaizumi needed to see you now.

Twenty minutes. It had only been twenty minutes since the lecture started which meant Iwaizumi had to sit through another forty minutes before he could see you. Forty long minutes of squirming in his seat, and repeatedly glancing at the large digital clock on the wall. Forty long minutes of gnawing at the skin of his bottom lip, and impatiently bouncing his leg up, and down to ease the nerves eating him up.

If only Iwaizumi knew how to control time then he wouldn’t be facing this problem.

You might have fucked up. Maybe adding in a crucial piece of information—his favourite food—may have not been the smartest move; of course, others won’t bat an eye at it but the target audience, however—also known as one Iwaizumi Hajime—would immediately pick up on this. Though, what’s done was done, you just somehow wish that he wouldn’t come across this specific confession even though that’d be one-hundred percent unlikely.

Gnawing at your bottom lip, your eyes read through the paragraphs on your textbook, trying not to think of your most recent confession, and instead diverted your attention on the lecture material. It was going well ‘til your phone lit up, indicating a notification.

Wasting no time to check it, you sucked in a breath after seeing Iwaizumi’s name on the notification tab. It was a message from him, he must’ve just finished his afternoon lecture.

Okay. Okay. Having lunch together wasn’t foreign at all but you seemed even more nervous about it now, not to mention how Iwaizumi sounded so serious over text—well, maybe you were just being dramatic, that was how he normally texted. Though, the fact that he had to follow up with another message saying that only the two of you would be having lunch was a little odd. Iwaizumi was never one to specify these kinds of things.

It took Iwaizumi approximately seven minutes to walk from his lecture theatre to the library, three if he decided to do a light jog. As your figure came into view, sitting on a study desk amongst all the other students in the jam packed library floor, it reminded him of your confessions.

How had he been so oblivious to your feelings? Just the thought of you keeping all that to yourself gave Iwaizumi the urge to wrap his arms around you in a tight hug. Maybe later.

He greeted you with a small wave of his hand which you eagerly returned. The little gesture tugged at his heartstrings, and weakened his knees; now that Iwaizumi knew you reciprocated his feelings, he figured he deserved to let his guard down a little—this time, he won’t push them down like he used to do.

As you quietly packed things inside your bag, Iwaizumi took the pleasure of discretely watching you from the corner of his eyes. He stood by the study desk you sat on, thumb mindlessly scrolling on his phone while his gaze was on you.

The way the afternoon sun bounced off your glowing skin had him sucking in a breath. God, you looked effortlessly breathtaking as always. His eyes traced the outline of your features, gaze gently kissing every dip, and curve of your face, from the tint of your lips all the way to the length of your lashes. Iwaizumi looked off to the side, warmth bloomed from his chest, and crept up the column of his neck ‘til it cupped his cheeks.

“Let’s go?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, wary of fellow students studying. Iwaizumi returned a nod, and stiffly led the way.

He could feel everything wrong with his movements—the way his legs felt weird, the awkward stride in each step, how his arms felt heavy against his sides. It was as though Iwaizumi’s body wasn’t insynched, he was all over the place yet the only thing that remained constant was his yearning heart.

You fell into a step next to Iwaizumi, clearly aware of his silence. Usually, he’d be talking your ear off about today’s lecture despite not understanding a single thing from your end but all you got was nothing. Sneaking a glance to the side, you caught a glimpse of a slight scowl on his face, one that he usually put on when in deep thought.

The warmth of your body slowly seeped on to his own, your hand was centimetres away from his, and it beckoned him like a sweet, sweet temptation, an invisible string pulling, and pulling his hand closer to yours until—

Both of you flinched at the subtle contact, a slight brush of his knuckles against yours yet it was as though his skin burned like an azure blaze.

“Oh, sorry.” Iwaizumi gave you a sheepish look, rubbing his nape with the hand that touched yours. You shook your head, mumbling a small ‘it’s okay’ but was it really when the warmth of your cheeks, and the beating of your heart said otherwise?

The touch was momentarily yet it was as though you’ve caught a glimpse of great ecstasy, the feeling of Iwaizumi’s bare skin against your own had you yearning for more like a touch starved man. You couldn’t quite figure out why he’s been acting so foreign lately but you weren’t much better yourself.

Ever since last week, the air between you, and Iwaizumi has turned weird—as if the two of you danced around each other but took no further step to initiate anything; whatever that anything was, you didn’t know.

The abrupt sound of his shoes against the pavement reeled you away from your thoughts. Looking behind you, you’ve noticed that Iwaizumi had come to a stop, hands balled beside him, and a tinge of crimson on the tips of his ears.

Confusion clouded your mind, “You oka—” “The confessions.” Iwaizumi cut you off. Your heart violently stuttered.

“Those are from you, right? The ones signed with ‘lovesick fool’.”

Oh, how badly you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. Your nails dug into the hearts of your palms, words lodged inside your throat but didn’t dare come out, all you could really do was stare at Iwaizumi wide-eyed as embarrassment stuck to your body like a leech.

Two options: act like you don’t know anything or run away but seeing as how serious Iwaizumi was, you figured he didn’t have time for silly games.

“How did you—oh my god this is so embarrassing.” Just the thought of pouring your heart out into those confessions, and Iwaizumi fully aware that you were behind them was enough reason to crawl into a hole, and disappear forever. Not to mention how he most likely didn’t even reciprocate your feelings.

Iwaizumi took a few steps closer, a small smile danced on his lips. Oh, so he was finding this all funny, huh? But somehow it gave you a tinge of hope that rejection was out of the picture.

“If I’m being honest, you gave it away from the first confession,” Your eyes widened at his words, trying to rethink back on the first confession you submitted. What the hell. You were so sure to be careful, and vague about it. “Well, not the confession itself but what you said when Oikawa read it out loud,”

“You said something about how it was a long term friendship yet the confession never mentioned anything like that—”

Oh. So, in conclusion, you fucked up.

“—not to mention the dimples in the second confession, and agedashi tofu on the third.”

You buried your face in your palms, turning into putty—not the good kind—as the words came out of Iwaizumi’s mouth. Never mind rejection, this was more embarrassing, definitely a core memory for the books, one that you’d never read.

“Look at me.” He softly chuckled but you were stubborn, shaking your head behind your palms.

Iwaizumi let out a sigh before his hands came up to your own, gently guiding them away from your face to meet your gaze. He didn’t stop there, Iwaizumi held your hands in his, giving them a gentle squeeze that matched his reassuring smile.

“Are you gonna reject me now?” “Close your eyes.”

Huffing at the way he ignored your question, you obliged anyway, fluttering your eyes shut. At least this was one step better than being rejected on the spot. All you could feel was the warmth of his hand, and the violent pounding of your heart against your chest.

What was he even up to?

Iwaizumi traced your features with his gaze, dropping down, down, down ‘til it found your lips.

After a heartbeat, you felt something warm press against your face—no, your lips. It was only for a brief moment yet you craved its softness, his softness more than anything. You opened your eyes to see a crimson-faced Iwaizumi, he was just as shell-shocked as you were by his own actions.

“Did that—did that answer your question?” “You’re absolutely unbelievable. Kiss me again.”

Iwaizumi didn’t have to be told twice. This time, he did so with more passion. He was going to kiss you as many times as you wished, maybe until all the air in his lungs ran out if it meant your happiness. Because now, he wasn’t going to let you go, not when the taste of this beginning was so, so sweet.

Maybe pouring your heart out to the university confessions page wasn’t a stupid move at all.

—

tags: @stunie @akumakitsune21 @boosyboo9206 @khfviq @avis-writeshq @elliesndg @1929sleepdeprived @wakashudou @lillycore @viscoolreal @lialia3945 @softpia @anqelkoz @tar0sw0rld @nwhaerin @kiyuwumi @seroh @eggyrocks @jellysupremacy @songofgratitude @gsyche @haikyuusunsalad @smellysluna @amoosarte @bbyxxm @fiannee @tiramisu4uu @hoshhhiiiii

affiliated with @houseofsolisoccasum & @the-all-stars-network !

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ladykailitha · 5 months

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Paper Hearts Part 1

Remember how my posting schedule was going to be based on strictly vibes from now on? Yeah this is why. I have three chapters of this completed and only two of most everything else because I hurt my right wrist on Wednesday evening (I think I overextended my elbow and it fucked up the tendons in my wrist, because I've done that before on my arm and it feels like that).

So instead of getting more work done on stuff that is literally paragraphs away from the end of the chapter I'm having to tap into my backlog. Which is what it's for. But it is annoying.

I am also aware it's nearly May, but my muse was never one for sense.

Summary: Hawkins High is selling paper hearts to help raise for senior prom. $3 for red romantic hearts and $1 for pink friendship hearts. Steve hasn't dated anyone since the horrific breakup with Nancy on Halloween and so he decides that he's going to send pink hearts to senior girls who wouldn't normally get any hearts at all. When Eddie hears about this he can't help be intrigued. It goes against his very well curated Munson Doctrine. But as events keep throwing them together, Eddie learns there is more to King Steve then meets the eye.

Also a note: the use of the other's last name when it's their point of view is deliberate. As they get to know each other more, the more first names get used.

****

Steve was staring at the huge sign with a sense of dread. In big pink and white letters on a red background screamed the words:

PAPER HEARTS FOR YOUR VALENTINE $1 FOR PINK FRIENDSHIP HEARTS $3 FOR RED ROMANTIC HEARTS ALL PROCEEDS GO TO CLASS OF 1985 SENIOR BALL

Valentine’s Day. That time of year for lovers and romantics. That used to be him. But not since Nancy broke his heart by breaking up with him for Jonathan Byers.

There would be no paper hearts in locker this year. Not even pink ones. Nancy had well and truly blown up his life and she got to walk away scott free.

He didn’t know what to do anymore. He pinched his nosed and rubbed the end. He wasn’t going to cry in the middle of the fucking main hall of Hawkins High.

Just before he was about to start moving again someone shoulder checked him, sending back to the floor and all his stuff sprawling around it like some fucked flower.

“Watch it, Harrington!” the voice growled as whoever it was sped off down the hall.

Steve didn’t even bother looking to see who it was. It could have been anyone these days. His former friends. Billy and his ilk. Hell, even the nerds and geeks got in on the action lately.

He knelt down to start cleaning it up when someone else kicked his books toward the lockers. He managed to get most of it picked up when he reached for the last notebook. Someone stepped on his hand and ground down, hurting Steve and ripping the cover off the notebook, crinkling the first couple of pages.

He shoved it into his bag and cradled his hand to his chest. He looked at his watch and sighed. Lunch was nearly over and he hadn’t even made it to the cafeteria yet.

There was nothing for it, he had to get to his next class. He walked into the class room just as the bell rang, but instead of heading for his usual spot near the front he made for the back of the class. There were always a few empty seats around Munson. The guy was terrifying on a good day.

And Steve hoped it was a good day.

****

Eddie made to class on time by the skin of his teeth. He slid through door just as the bell rang above his head. He was about to lope over to his usual spot in the back when he stopped dead in his tracks.

He looked up at the front at the deliberately left open seat and back at the seat next to his with a raised eyebrow. He wisely said nothing as he flopped into the torture device known as the chesk. Dair? Whatever the hell it was called where some unspeakable horror thought to combine a desk and a chair.

Eddie glanced sidelong at his new companion. The recently deposed king of Hawkins High sat slumped in his chesk, head down, just staring at its surface as if held the meaning to life the universe and everything.

Which if Harrington asked him, he would have been told forty-two.

He pulled out his notebook and noticed that Harrington did not do the same. Curiouser and curiouser. He pulled out a pencil and settled in to avoid falling to sleep today.

He was taking notes and doing the assignment like he was supposed to when about half way through class the teacher called out to him.

“Mr. Harrington!” she shrieked. “If you are going to be sitting in the back, please have the decency to pay attention in class!”

A couple of kids snickered.

“You were talking about how the Fool is used to lighten the absolutely horrific scene above him of Lady Macbeth as she tries to get blood out of her gown,” he muttered, scratching his cheek with his left hand.

That was when the teacher and Eddie noticed the same thing at the same time.

Harrington was cradling his right hand to his chest.

“Mr. Harrington is there something wrong with your right hand?”

“I accidentally hurt it during lunch,” he said with wince.

The teacher tapped her foot and crossed her arms. “And why didn’t you see the nurse?”

“It happened right before class,” Harrington muttered, “and I didn’t want to be late.”

The teacher huffed and shook her head. “I will give you note for your next teacher, but you will see the nurse after class, am I understood?”

He nodded.

“Mr. Munson,” she cried out, shrill. “If you’ll share your notes with Mr. Harrington after class so he does not fall behind.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He continued to keep an eye on Harrington throughout the whole class but whenever their English teacher tried to catch him out, she would fail every time.

When the bell rang Eddie started shoving his stuff into his backpack. “You sure you even need my notes, Harrington? That was pretty impressive shit you pulled out of your ass today.”

Harrington just shrugged. “Just because I was paying attention doesn’t mean it won’t bleed out of my ears with all the algebra and chemistry stuff I have later.”

Eddie winced in sympathy. “Yeah, I hear that. What’s your locker number and I’ll just slip a copy of my notes in the slots.”

“323B.”

“They got you on a lower locker?” he asked with a grimace. “That’s jacked up. Even Mr. Super Senior here got a top locker. Does the secretary hate you or some shit?”

Again Harrington shrugged. “I’ve got to go. I’ll catch you later.”

Eddie folded his arms at looked at him. “You’re not going to the nurse’s station, are you?”

This time it was Harrington who winced.

“That’s what I thought,” he huffed. “I’m walking you to said nurse’s station because it could be broken and if you don’t get that looked at, you’ll be in more than just a world of hurt, man. You could fuck up your hand for life and you wouldn’t be able to anything in that hand ever again.”

Steve’s eyes went wide as all color drained from his face.

“Shit.”

Eddie grabbed both of their backpacks and headed for the door. “Yeah, shit.”

Harrington hurried to catch up, hand still cradled to his chest.

“How did you know that could happen to my hand?” he asked softly.

Eddie eyed him sidelong, but the kid wasn’t being an ass. In fact he would say Harrington was being earnest.

“My uncle works at the machinist plant up the road,” Eddie explained. “One of his buddies broke his hand on the machine and refused to get it looked at. Guess how well that worked?”

“Was it the plant’s fault?” Harrington asked. Eddie cocked his head to the side. “That you uncle’s friend got hurt?”

Eddie reared his head back in shock that Harrington would even ask.

“No, man,” he said shaking his head. “He was goofing off, being a dick. Uncle Wayne always said that if you knock on every door asking for the devil, one day he’s gonna answer.”

“What happens when the devil comes looking for you?” Harrington muttered to himself and Eddie couldn’t help but wonder what this kid had seen.

Because he knows haunted. And Harrington looks like he has an attic full of ghosts.

Once they got to the nurse’s station Eddie waited for him. When the other boy came out he asked how it went.

“She says it doesn’t feel broken,” he huffed. “But that if it doesn’t improve over the weekend after icing at least three times a day, to come back on Monday and she’ll order an x-ray.”

Eddie nodded. “Right. See you around, Harrington.”

He had barely turned around when Harrington called out to him. “Wait!”

Eddie turned back around to have a piece of paper shoved into his hand. “I got the nurse to excuse us both.”

And before he could even reply the other boy was tearing off down the hall as if the devil himself was chasing him.

And after that comment he’d heard, Eddie couldn’t be sure he wasn’t.

****

Steve was curled up on his bed, icing his hand, staring up at the ceiling, and wondering where the fuck his life had gone so wrong.

Okay so he could answer that one, actually. Demogorgon ate his girlfriend’s best friend while in his backyard. While him and said girlfriend were having sex for the first time.

Yeah... that was all kinds of fucked up.

He still couldn’t believe that Nancy sided with Jonathan about him taking pictures of their first time.

So now Valentine’s Day was two week away and he was dateless, friendless, and unpopular. He wished he could just be called a loner. But a loner was cool and Steve wasn’t even that anymore.

He just had to make until the end of may and then he could graduate, leaving this town in his rearview mirror for good.

Steve knew that he would have to struggle through this fucking holiday and Senior prom then it would be smooth sailing from there.

He had all this money that he would normally spend on his girlfriends, but now he didn’t even have that. He supposed he could blow it all on beer and weed and then he could enjoy the weekend for a change.

Steve sat up suddenly, the ice pack falling from his hand to hit the floor with sploosh!

Now that was an idea.

He still had one thing in the school that was nonpareil and that was gossip. In fact, it was easier to hear all the dirty little secrets because no one cared if he was standing there.

A smile spread over his face.

That could actually work. It would be a great way to spend his allowance and it would be fun.

He got up and put the ice pack back in the freezer. He couldn’t do anything about it right then but once his hand was better he would formulate his little plan.

Steve was suddenly excited for the first time since he dropped Dustin off at the middle school’s Snow Ball.

He was going to make this holiday fun even if he had to manufacture the fun himself.

****

Eddie was pissed. A little at himself, but mostly at how Harrington was being treated.

He had to sit through lunch and listen a bunch of stupid jocks brag about stomping on Harrington’s hand when he was trying to pick up his stuff off the floor in the hallway yesterday.

They had been hoping for an actual break, but the asshole thought he’d only bruised it.

The reason Eddie was a little mad at himself for this was because he was the one that had shoulder checked Harrington. He had only been trying to get the guy out of his daze. Not send his shit flying.

And then to have someone deliberately stepping on his hand. Fuck. Not even Hagan ever went that far.

Stev–Harrington didn’t deserve that kind of bullying. No one did.

But he could see the twisted sort of appeal, though. And fuck if that didn’t make his stomach turn.

To see the deposed king and want to mock that? Want to dig the hurt in as deep as he could? To drive home the lesson that popularity was fleeting and that existence was a curse?

Yeah, Eddie could see the appeal.

But he wouldn’t. He might make fun of literally everyone and everything but his own interests, but to make turn that into actual cruelty? That was were he drew the line in the sand.

He went home feeling sick to his stomach. And of course Wayne picked up on it immediately.

He jutted his chin at the chicken and rice on Eddie plate that he had only merely pushed around with his fork.

“What’s got you so twisted around the bend?”

Eddie put his fork down and hid his mouth with his clasped hands, elbows on the table.

“I fucked up today,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean for it to go as it did.”

“What did you do?”

So Eddie told him. “I wasn’t trying to hurt him, but he got hurt anyway.”

“That does sound pretty bad,” Wayne agreed. “And as you say, you were trying to help only for it to go very awry. And since you didn’t about it until after the fact you couldn’t apologize and that’s what’s eating you up inside.”

Eddie nodded around his fists, his lower lip quivering.

“You’ll just have to find a way to apologize on Monday,” Wayne said wisely.

Eddie sighed. It was the best he could do. It wasn’t as though he could call the guy up or show up at his house. The first because he didn’t have the guy’s number and the second because he’d get the cops called on him so fast by the neighbors.

It would just have to wait until Monday.

****

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 7 months

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My dear lgbt+ kids,

If you consume a certain type of online content about friendship (often in the form of “10 signs of a fake friend” and similar), you may almost get to the conclusion that anyone who is not your best friend is your enemy - or at the very least, that any friend who doesn’t know *everything* about you is entirely worthless to your life and you would be better off cutting them out.

That’s a pretty radical view of human relationships, and it would ultimately cost you a lot of joyful social interactions if you strictly adhered to it.

Unless you barricade yourself in your room and never leave it (which would be pretty awful for your mental health), you will end up in situations where you have regular interactions with people who are not your best friend ever. The ability to be friendly to those people, to enjoy those connections, isn’t “fake” or “toxic”. It’s an important source of positive social interactions and a valuable tool to fight loneliness.

If you have a constant social circle, these may be the friends (or partners, family members etc) of your friends, those “I’m not directly friends with Rose but I’m friends with Lisa and Lisa is friends with Rose” situations. But even if you do not have a circle like that (because you don’t make friends easily, you have social anxiety etc.), there will most likely be some “casually friendly” people in your life, as these are often simply the people who happen to be at the same place at the same time as you: colleagues, classmates, neighbors, people at places you frequent (employees in stores, patients in group therapy etc.), or even just the guy who waits for the same bus as you do every Monday morning.

These people wouldn’t be the first one you’d call if you need help with a potentially life changing decision. They don’t know all your deepest secrets, fears and desires, they may not even be able to name your favorite color (or hey, maybe not even your name), and they certainly won’t be able to list all your identity labels, political beliefs, medical diagnoses, traumatic experiences and sexual fantasies - but they don’t need to.

It’s wonderful if you have a best friend (or another close relationship) who fulfills that role of being someone you’d trust blindly, someone who knows you inside and out. But not everyone you are friendly with needs to be that for you. There’s enough other roles. Acquaintances, work friends, casual friends, small-talk friends… those roles aren’t worthless. They won’t be the one you call at 3 am after a breakup, but they can inject a bit of joy in your everyday life. They can offer friendly interactions that come with no pressure to go beyond the surface (something that’s valuable in itself! It would be very exhausting if everyone already knew everything about you and every conversation had to be deep and philosophical).

Plus, only knowing each other in one context has its advantages: your best friend may not know anything about the printer issue in your office but your office friend sure does! And if you met someone in a crime novel forum and all you ever talk about is crime novels, is that really negative? Isn’t it beautiful to know someone who shares your passion for that genre and is always happy to talk about it?

Of course an office friend or a crime novel friend can also become a best friend over the years. There are plenty of people who meet in a specific context, bond in that context and gradually develop a relationship out of that context as well. But one-context friends still enrich your life.

Even if that context is purely “we say hi when we see each other at the bus stop”, it’s a positive social interaction - and those will bring color and joy into both of your lives.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+

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777sturn · 2 months

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𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝜗𝜚 matt sturniolo

𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉. . . you and matt have been childhood best friends for as long as you can remember. slowly, the friendship started to blossom into something more than that. cuddles and holding hands were a normal occurrence between the two, and every feeling was pushed away because it was strictly platonic. but what if one small and friendly gesture makes feelings begin to unfold?

˖ ࣪⊹ pairing, crush!matt x fem!reader

⊹₊ ⋆ warning(s), mature language, suggestive (?)

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ jules’ message. little cutesy one for my first 😊

it was just another ordinary summer evening. the gentle sounds of the waves crashing against the shore and the salty air was what made you look forward to summer nights the most. the sky was painted with baby pink and orange hues and the sun was about to hit the horizon, indicating it was almost sunset.

you were currently alongside matt as you two walked around the half-crowded boardwalk. it wasn’t anything new, taking walks to catch the sunset was your guys’ thing. despite you two being childhood best friends, you only got to see him over the summer. every summer, your family and his would visit the beach house and stay until school began again. of course, you were close with nick and chris, but you were always drawn to matt and had a special connection that others may brush off as just a regular friendship— except, it was much more than that.

matt and you went through everything together— relationships, friend groups, arguments, you name it. there was always this unexplainable tension between you two, but it was always pushed away for the sake of keeping the friendship.

“if we don’t hurry up, we’re gonna miss the sunset!” you complain, gently nudging him.

matt rolls his eyes playfully, “we’ll make it in time,” he reassures, pointing over in the distance.

soon enough, the beach slowly comes into view. even though it was the perfect time of the day to be there, it was somewhat empty. there was only a few families and couples who were playing in the water or watching the sunset.

you smile as you notice the spot. it was a small rocky area close by the shore, it was always surrounded by seashells and for some reason the breeze was much cooler there. you turn to matt, your smile growing much bigger, “i’ll race you.” and in a blink of an eye, you were off.

“what the fuck!” matt called, running after you, “you got a head start!”

you continue to giggle as you run to the spot. the warm rays of the sun casted onto you as you reached the destination. another set of laughter escapes your lips as you watch an exhausted matt slowly jog to you.

“cheater!” he lets out a breath, running his fingers through his hair that the wind messed with.

“either way,” you start, sitting down on the sand, “i would’ve still won.”

“yeah yeah,” matt mutters, sitting beside you. the sun was now casting an orange glow over the ocean and the two of you. the waves continued its rhythmic melody as it met the shore. it was peaceful and quiet between you guys.

“i like this,” you whisper softly, breaking the silence, “watching the sunset, again with you.”

“god don’t be cheesy,” matt mutters shaking his head, a hint of amusement was heard in his voice as he tried to cover it up with a tough act.

you let out another giggle as your eyes roam around the sand and seashells in front of you. a plethora of different shapes, sizes, and colored shells caught your eye— but a couple of them in particular stood out to you the most. you reach out, picking up three blue shells that were different shades as the ocean. they were also blue, just like matt’s eyes.

matt was looking out at the sunset, not realizing you were searching for shells. you turn to him to study his face for a second before scooting a little closer towards him.

“look at me for a second,” you say softly, enclosing your fingers on the shells to hide them.

matt turns to face you with a slight confused expression. he looks down at your tightly closed hand, “i swear to fuck if you throw sand in my face, i’ll literally throw you into the ocean.”

you roll your eyes, “i promise i wont, just look at me and move your hair out of your eyes.”

he sighs, looking straight at you. his hand slightly held up his hair out of his eyes. you smile as you open your hand, revealing the three shells. you pick one up one at a time, holding it up close to his eyes. your eyes flicker back and forth from his pupils to the shell. you continue to stay silent until you bring up the third one, “found it.” your smile grows bigger.

“found what?” he asked, his voice was raspy and low from staying quiet.

“a shell that matches your eyes.” you say casually, wrapping your fingers around it again, “now, lets continue watching the sunset.”

“why would i watch the sunset if i could watch the pretty girl thats right in front of me.” he mutters, softly.

your eyes widen slightly, “look who’s being cheesy now.” you tease, playfully nudging his arm.

“now we’re equal.” matt smirks, “wait actually no.” his eyes divert on the shells, searching for a hazel colored one. he picks one up and turns back to you.

his hand gently tucked your hair behind your ear. the sudden touch made your heart drop and it felt like a whole zoo broke out into your stomach. he held up the shell next to your eye and lets out a satisfied hum, “perfect.” he says, lowly.

a slight blush crept onto your cheeks at what just happened. you watch as he puts it in the pocket of his shorts. he smiles softly, “now i’ll always have a piece of you to remember and you do too.”

the slight blush was now much noticeable and you could feel your cheeks heat up more and more.

“you’re blushing.” he mutters, teasingly. his eyes still on your face.

“i’m sunburnt.” you lie, turning your head back to the ocean in front of you.

he lets out a low chuckle as he gently cupped your face to turn to him again. of course, that just made everything much worse, “you’re definitely blushing.” he smirks.

it was silent between you two, the tension was unbearable. not a single word came out of your mouth. you looked at his face, for some reason, the shade of blue in his eyes were much darker than usual. the soft golden hue of the setting sun crept onto his face, accentuating his features: the depths of his cheekbones, the teensy flush on his cheeks, everything.

it was like the world had just stopped and the only thing you could hear was the soothing melody of the ocean as well as your heart beating quicker and quicker.

you couldnt help but smile as his thumb gently caressed your cheek. he returned the warm smile as his eyes flickered to your eyes and then down to your lips. of course, you notice, your cheeks flushed a brighter pink.

his eyes lock onto your eyes as if he was silently asking a question. you notice as you meet his gaze once again. the way butterflies fluttered in your stomach in circles made everything seem real. it was happening— the moment you wanted to happen the most.

you nod your head. he continues to look at you, making sure if there was any second guesses. matt slightly tilted his head as he leaned in closer to you, finally closing the small gap and kissing you softly.

his lips on yours was like the missing puzzle piece. the way your guys’ lips moved in harmony, slowly, made the kiss seem like it was filled with care and meaning. he lightly nibbled on your bottom lip and then ran his tongue along it, soothing it and began to crave your taste more and more.

you open your mouth slightly, tilting your head as his tongue brushed against yours. his hands made their way to your waist and gently tugged them, signaling for you to go into his lap. without disconnecting the kiss, you straddle his lap and cup his face. soon enough, the once soft and slow kiss was filled with craving and passion, the pace slowly picking up. teeth and tongue were clashing and soft moans were being exchanged. it was music to each other’s ears.

eventually, you pull away to catch your breath. you slowly flutter your eyes open to see matt. his lips were slightly parted and swollen from the excessive kissing. your guys chest rose in sync, trying to make your breathing pattern even again.

“you’re perfect,” matt mutters, his head moving to your jawline, softly kissing it before trailing a series of kisses down your neck.

he gently nipped at the skin, soothing it quickly after with more kisses. you tilt your head back, giving him more access. you hands lightly tugged on his brown hair as he bit and sucked harder. you melt into his touch as his grip on your waist became a little tighter, his thumbs slowly rubbing small circles on your waist. the kisses trailed down once again to the top of your breasts. he pulled away to admire his work, grinning wide, “yeah this sight is better than the sunset.”

#𝜗𝜚 writings ˖ ࣪⊹ 𓂃 #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #matt girl #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo #matt fanfic #matt sturniolo fanfic #fluff

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bloggingboutburgers · 1 month

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hello! I was wondering about QPR relationships? Like how do you know if it's a crush or smth like a huge huge friend likeness thing? And like some examples(if its fine!) Thank you!

Sorry for the late reply! Hmmm... I've talked about it before on this tag, and I can only ever really talk about my own experience, but I'll try to give examples that are as concrete as possible that sorta clue me in on the fact that it's not romance from what I can understand of my own situation :

I don't feel jealousy or possessiveness when it comes to my partner and it's mutual. We like spending time together but we're perfectly alright with the other spending their time with another person without getting worried about it. It doesn't feel lonely either – it's just nice to know they're vibing.

In fact we're very much encouraging each other not to put each other at the dead center of our own lives. It would feel like too much if that was the case.

If it ends someday, it'll feel lonely, sure, but not world-shattering. Not any more world-shattering than a friendship ending at least – which yeah, granted, IS pretty world-shattering, but it wouldn't get worse than that, at least as far as I can imagine.

I never really felt extra nervous towards my partner personally, like no heart-beating-faster kinda thing or losing sleep over it.

We have some physical affection, with boundaries, and pet names, with boundaries, but one of our favorite things past that is chatting and bursting into laughter over something we find funny mutually.

When I call them "my" something, I always feel the urgent need to specify "just as a matter of speech, 'cus you're not mine, you don't belong to me".

Also some two cents from my partner @civiart who was the one bringing up the fact they had a squish on me, and that I feel might be more useful:

They can see themselves having key life events with me, like moving in together or whatnot, or traveling together or such, but they have trouble picturing ourselves in typical "romantic situations" for what it's worth. They say that was helpful in figuring that out for themselves, although it was a year-long process in their case.

It doesn't depend on orientation strictly, since anyone from any orientation can have a squish, and some people on the aromantic spectrum can feel romantic attraction depending on their place on the spectrum.

One last thing I very much agree with: it's a very personal thing and at the end no one can make that call but yourself. It's about what feels right to you and what it feels right to label yourself as – if it feels right to use a label to you in the first place!

#hopefully that was helpful!#screamfome #queerplatonic #queer platonic relationship #qpr

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logansargeantsbabymom · 2 months

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Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt

BREIF Logan Sargeant x Fem!Sainz!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Sainz!Reader, Carlos Sainz x Fem!Sainz!Reader

A/N: I’ve really been trying my best with keeping up with writing and posting within a timely manner but it hurts me that someone (not naming names) took my first ever post and copied and pasted it as their own, I mean I’m flattered that you love my writing so much you posted it to your own account but please, that was disrespectful. To everyone who has reported or shared that post and helped me by sending me kind words and how to prevent things like this from happening again, thank you so much! I don’t know yet whether or not Im going to be annoying and take ANOTHER short break but this is messing with me a little. Enjoy this story though, I’ve had it in my drafts for a week or two.

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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Y/N Sainz had always been close to her older brother, Carlos. Growing up in the shadow of his racing career had its perks, but it also meant she was constantly surrounded by his friends, including Lando Norris. From the moment they met, Y/N and Lando had an easy rapport, their banter light and effortless.

Lando quickly became a fixture in her life, always around for family dinners, race weekends, and impromptu hangouts. Their friendship was easy, natural, and uncomplicated—or so it seemed. For years, Y/N harbored a secret crush on Lando, carefully hidden behind the mask of friendship. She never acted on it, fearing it would ruin not only their friendship but also complicate things with Carlos.

Y/N had been dating Logan Sargeant for two years, a relationship that seemed perfect on the outside. Logan was charming and attentive, and they appeared to be the ideal couple. But behind closed doors, cracks began to form. Logan's attention waned, and Y/N found herself increasingly lonely and insecure.

The final blow came when she discovered Logan had been cheating on her. The betrayal shattered her, leaving her heartbroken and wary of trusting anyone again. Carlos was livid, ready to confront Logan, but Y/N begged him not to. She wanted to heal on her own terms, away from the drama and conflict.

Lando was there for her during those dark days, offering a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. He had always admired Y/N's strength and resilience, but seeing her so vulnerable only deepened his feelings for her. Yet, he kept his distance, knowing she needed time to recover.

It was during a summer vacation in Monaco when things began to change. Carlos had invited a few friends to join them at their family's villa, and Lando was, of course, among them. The days were filled with laughter, swimming, and late-night conversations under the stars.

One evening, after a particularly exhilarating race, the group decided to celebrate at a local club. The atmosphere was electric, and the drinks were flowing. Y/N found herself sitting next to Lando, their knees brushing as they talked.

"You were amazing today," Y/N said, her voice sincere. "I don't think I've ever seen you drive like that."

Lando smiled, a warm, genuine smile that made her heart flutter. "Thanks, Y/N. It means a lot coming from you."

Their eyes met, and for a moment, the world around them faded. There was a spark, an undeniable connection that neither of them could ignore. But just as quickly, Y/N looked away, the reality of her recent heartbreak crashing down on her. She couldn't risk opening herself up again, not after Logan.

Despite their unspoken feelings, Y/N and Lando tried to maintain the status quo. But the spark between them was impossible to ignore, and one evening, after everyone else had gone to bed, they found themselves alone in the villa's garden.

"Lando, we need to talk," Y/N said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I can't keep pretending that nothing's changed."

Lando nodded, his expression serious. "I know. I feel it too, Y/N. But what are we supposed to do? Carlos will kill me if he finds out."

Y/N sighed, her heart aching with the weight of their predicament. "I don't know. But I can't keep hiding how I feel."

Lando took a deep breath, reaching out to take her hand. "We'll figure it out. Together."

From that night on, they began a secret relationship, stolen moments and whispered confessions. It wasn't easy, especially for Y/N, who struggled with trust and vulnerability after Logan's betrayal. But Lando was patient, showing her that love didn't have to hurt, that it could be gentle and kind.

Keeping their relationship a secret was more challenging than either of them had anticipated. There were close calls, moments when they almost slipped up. Like the time Carlos nearly walked in on them kissing in Lando's hotel room. Or the time Y/N accidentally sent Lando a flirty text meant for her eyes only, which he opened in front of Carlos.

Each close call only heightened the tension, but it also made their bond stronger. They became experts at hiding their feelings in public, but when they were alone, the intensity of their love was palpable.

The constant secrecy began to take its toll on Y/N. She hated lying to Carlos, and the stress of keeping their relationship hidden was wearing her down. One evening, after a particularly close call, she and Lando found themselves arguing in hushed tones in his hotel room.

"I can't keep doing this, Lando," Y/N said, tears in her eyes. "It's tearing me apart."

Lando's heart ached at the sight of her tears. "I know, Y/N. I hate this too. But what choice do we have? If we tell Carlos, he'll never forgive us."

Y/N shook her head, her voice breaking. "I can't keep lying to him. He deserves to know the truth. And if he can't accept it, then at least we tried."

Lando took a deep breath, knowing she was right. "Okay. We'll tell him. Together."

The opportunity to come clean presented itself sooner than they expected. It was the night before a big race, and Carlos had invited Lando and Y/N to dinner. The atmosphere was tense, the weight of their secret hanging over them.

As they sat down to eat, Y/N took a deep breath, steeling herself for what was to come. "Carlos, there's something we need to tell you."

Carlos looked up, his brow furrowing in confusion. "What is it, Y/N?"

Y/N glanced at Lando, who nodded encouragingly. "Lando and I... we're together. We've been seeing each other for a while now."

The silence that followed was deafening. Carlos's expression hardened, his jaw clenching. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, it's not," Lando said, his voice steady. "We didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. And we love each other."

Carlos stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. "You lied to me. Both of you. How could you do this?”

Y/N felt tears welling up in her eyes. "Carlos, please understand. We didn't want to hurt you."

Carlos shook his head, his eyes filled with betrayal. "I need some time to think."

The days that followed were painful and tense. Carlos avoided both Y/N and Lando, throwing himself into his work and the upcoming race. Y/N felt the weight of his disappointment and anger, but she knew they had done the right thing by being honest.

Lando was a constant source of support, holding her when she cried and reassuring her that they would get through this together. It wasn't easy, but their love was strong, and they were determined to weather the storm.

Lando knew that words alone wouldn't be enough to mend the rift between him and Carlos. He needed to show Carlos that his feelings for Y/N were genuine and deep. During the next race weekend, Lando approached Carlos with a plan.

"Carlos, I know you're still upset, and you have every right to be," Lando began, his voice sincere. "But I want to prove to you that my feelings for Y/N are real and that I'll do anything to make her happy. Let me help you with your race prep this weekend, and maybe you'll see that I'm serious about this."

Carlos studied Lando for a moment, then gave a curt nod. "Fine. Let's see if you're as serious as you say."

The weekend was grueling, with Lando juggling his own race preparations and assisting Carlos. But he threw himself into the work, showing not only his dedication to his own career but also his commitment to earning Carlos's trust.

After the race, which went spectacularly well for both Carlos and Lando, Carlos finally sat down with his sister. They were in her hotel room, the evening light casting long shadows on the walls.

"Y/N, I need to understand," Carlos said, his voice soft but intense. "Why Lando? After everything that happened with Logan, why take that risk again?"

Y/N took a deep breath, her eyes meeting Carlos's. "Because Lando showed me that love doesn't have to hurt, Carlos. He was there for me when Logan broke my heart. He was patient, kind, and he never pushed me. He loves me in a way that I never thought was possible."

Carlos's expression softened as he listened. "I just don't want you to get hurt again, Y/N. You're my little sister, and I want to protect you."

Y/N reached out and took Carlos's hand. "I know, and I love you for that. But Lando makes me happy. I need you to trust me, and to trust him."

Carlos sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Okay. I'll try. But if he ever hurts you, he's going to have to answer to me."

Y/N smiled, relief flooding through her. "Thank you, Carlos. That means the world to me."

With Carlos's reluctant blessing, Y/N and Lando were finally able to be open about their relationship. The burden of secrecy lifted, they found a new sense of freedom and joy. Their love grew stronger, and they faced the challenges of their relationship together, knowing they had Carlos's support.

In time, the tension between Carlos and Lando eased, and they found their way back to the friendship they had always cherished. Y/N was grateful for the understanding and forgiveness her brother had shown, and she knew that no matter what, they would always be a family.

Lando proved to be the perfect partner for Y/N, supporting her dreams and ambitions while pursuing his own. They became each other's rock, facing the ups and downs of life in the fast lane together.

One evening, as the sun set over the Monaco coastline, the Sainz family and Lando gathered for a dinner. It was a special occasion, one that marked not only the success of Carlos's season but also the strength and unity of their family.

During dinner, Carlos raised his glass, his eyes shining with pride and affection. "To family, and to the people who make us better. Y/N, Lando, I'm proud of you both. You've shown me that love can be strong, even when it's tested. Here's to the future."

Y/N and Lando exchanged a smile, their hearts full. They clinked glasses, surrounded by the warmth and love of their family.

As the seasons changed and the years passed, Y/N and Lando's relationship continued to flourish. They faced new challenges and adventures together, their bond growing stronger with each passing day. Carlos remained a constant presence in their lives, supporting them and cheering them on.

—

I have no clue what the hell this is but I hope you enjoyed?

Taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal l @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan @styl1shl1v @eddieharrington @hellowgoodbye

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silviaflowers · 26 days

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On today's episode of Silvi Loves FOP:ANW A LOT, we have my interpretations of my two favorite characters! Except I don't really interpret them super differently from the show so its mostly them in my style

SOME NOTES UNDER THE CUT CUZ THEY'RE A LITTLE LONG!

Hazels colors were really tricky because I kept tweaking the sweater... I unfortunately forgot her iconic two tufts in her hair in my doodles and needed to rectify that immediately. One of said doodles included her friendship bracelets, and they make a return here! She has ones with all her friends! The colors were adapted from one of my friend's drawings :]

Her background also has flower and rock shapes because. Why not. The rocks are obvious the flowers are more of a me-thing.

I have a lot of thoughts and Emotions about Dev, he really is iconic and I want to put his dad into a giant hamster cage. Anyways, as much as I enjoy heterochromia Dev, it isn't a hc I subscribe to as much as strictly colored contacts Dev. I like to think he has green eyes but wears blue contacts to match his dad. Brand loyalty, or something.

He has a mole and a widows peak when i draw him, mostly because I forgot he didn't? And then couldn't stop drawing him that way. I also misinterpreted his shoes as having wings and yknow what I like that interpretation. Something something icarus metaphor. Dev also has his friendship bracelet but I think he threw it away before taking over fairyworld with Irep and. You Know. Angst Ensues. For all intents and purposes Dev is also 10 but I ran out of room to write it

Extra notes uhhh I think it's interesting Hazel's undershirt is white and Devs is black. Obviously their designs are meant to contrast each other, with Hazels vibrance and Devs sleek, brand minimalism, (i attempted to reflect this in their backgrounds) but that's a neat touch i didn't notice until now. Also Devs shoes look like smth out of LEGO Monkie Kid... crossover au don't tempt me

OK! That's all I have for yall take a doodle for sticking around

#silvia flowers #silviart #fop:anw #fop a new wish #fop fanart #fairly oddparents: a new wish #hazel fop #hazel wells #fop hazel #fop dev #dev fop #dev dimmadome

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aseaofyoongi · 1 year

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where feelings bloom | kth

kim taehyung x reader (f)

genre: fluff | smut | bffs to lovers

rating: mature audiences only (strictly 18+)

summary: vacations are the time of self reflections and revelations. so, what happens when your last day in paradise involves you trying to decipher the feelings that you’ve had blooming for your best friend kim taehyung.

warnings: where do i begin lol; post college universe; suppressed feelings; overthinking; crush culture; foul language; vag fingering; overstimulation; clitoral stimulation; pentrative sex; protected sex (wrap it up friends); non-idol au; praise; dirty talk; tae is focused on oc’s pleasure only; unlabeled relationships; no plans for a part two; out of season au (happy beginning of fall) ; not edited

word count: ~ 5.6 thousand words

posted: tuesday october 4, 2023

notable songs: ivy - frank ocean | are we still friends - tyler, the creator | todo cambio - camila | a drop in the ocean - ron pope

Mornings were your favorite part of the day. Although, not many people agree with that ideology you couldn’t help but be enamored by the way day the birds chirped their peaceful melody awakening you right up from your slumber, the glare of the beaming sun highlighting its waves of heat right into your face, the song of the crashing of waves against the shore. . but most of all you loved that for the last eight nights you have been waking up in an island paradise and you got to share it with your absolute favorite person in the entire world. Your best friend, Taehyung.

Your soulmate, well platonic soulmate; your other half; your light in the darkest of tunnels. That’s who he was and honestly you couldn’t even recall a minute or even a second in the course of your life when Taehyung hadn’t been there with you.

You met Taehyung long ago. Twenty-one years ago to be precise—marking the very moment you came out of your mother’s womb. Your mother’s had been best friends for years (still are), so your birth marked the day when you would meet your mother and father; but it also marked the day when you met Taehyung. He was already a couple of weeks older than you but your mother’s paired you up and built a friendship among the two of you long before you ran around in diapers together, bathed in kiddie pools with your favorite toys, before you took your first steps or even uttered your very first words.

By definition, you were meant to be in Taehyung’s life and Taehyung was meant to be in yours. There was no re-writing that bit of history and besides you’d never do it even if you could. The constellations of your stars align and are guided right into each other’s path.

Truly. He is going to be your person today, tomorrow and hopefully an eternity after that. You’ll always be there for him even after the sun dims and the oceans dry. There is no one you’d rather call your best friend and no one else who you would rather have invading every inch of your life.

The door to the connecting room swung open and surely enough there he was leaning against the door frame. The blonde streaks of his wet hair fell past his dark brown eyes and thick eyebrows covering their entirety. On the same note you finally registered that he only wore a pair of gray sweat shorts that hung low on his hips; all while he remained bare on the top half of his body showing off his lean physique and although Taehyung didn’t have abs he was still fit—very awe striking.

“Whatever happened to ceasing the day?” he exclaimed, his eyes turned to fiery pits as he likely replayed whatever crazy scenario he had planned for the day back in his head, “it’s nine in the morning. What are you still doing in bed. . Why are you still in your pajamas?”

“I was too lazy to get up,” you looked at the digital clock on the night stand beside you blinking its bright red numbers back at your sleep-riddled eyes.

“Tonight is our last night on this slice of paradise heaven so get your ass up and let’s go let’s go let’s go,” he snapped his fingers before ripping the covers off of your body.

“We have over twenty-four hours before we gotta head back home,” you patted the empty spot on the bed next to you and he jumped right in, cozying up under the covers, “just let me lay here for like ten more more. Is that okay with you, mom?”

He groaned, “Fine but we better be up in ten minutes or I plan to carry you right down to the beach, pajamas and all.”

“Yeah, sure,” you pulled the white duvet over your head signaling you were ready to drift back into the remnant of tiredness that lingered behind from all the activities you had partook in for the past week, “just ten more minutes. Just ten,” you mumbled, your eyes felt heavy as you drifted back into a deep slumber.

“Just ten,” you heard his voice from a distance, so far away. Yet his body heat lingered close by and the apricity was easily welcomed against the skin of your back.

Ten minutes turned into four hours and by the time your eyes fluttered open it was just after four in the afternoon. The sun still beamed bright through the drawn blinds heating up your body as the rays met your skin. You stretched carefully and rubbed sleep off your eyes before turning around to face Taehyung. He remained sound asleep—eyes shut tightly, mouth slightly ajar, and soft snores sounding like the steady, peaceful melody of lullabies.

Taehyung is truly beautiful. So beautiful, in-fact that it kind of made you stop in your tracks every so often and you couldn’t help but just look at him. Drinking in his striking features; his big brown eyes, his hair soft like silk, and his raucous voice so deep and soothing.

Taehyung is truly a work of art. So much so that every candid moment captured behind the pixels of his pictures belonged in art galleries around the world.

You noticed you were attracted to your best friend the summer after your sophomore year of high school. The two of you had spent the entire summer together—inseparable as usual. But towards the end of the summer as the first day of school approached, you and Taehyung engaged in a short adventure to the lake on the outskirts of town. You’d had truly an amazing time and you ended up inside a small diner having greasy food and chocolate shakes. You hadn’t processed it back then but looking back now you remember the way your heart was pounding, the way your palms were sweaty and the way all of your butterflies flapped their wings against the pit of your stomach.

It’s so obvious looking back now—how much you truly liked him while you sat in that booth in the back of that diner. There, it felt like no one else inhabited the establishment. Just the two of you and the secret that took root in your heart.

A secret so taboo you buried it somewhere deep in the back of your mind, but every time your eyes caught a glimpse of him there it all was. Everything, all over again, causing a daze in your mind and making your chest ache.

“Wake up, Tae Tae,” you shook him slightly, pushing all of those thoughts aside.

“Huh?” he groaned, twisting and turning mindlessly in the ocean of sheets.

“We have gone against your beloved schedule for the day and I’m afraid I was the culprit,” you sat up against the headboard and he followed along laying his head on your shoulder.

“We didn’t just sleep for ten minutes did we?”

You shook my head, “it’s around four o’clock right now.”

“That chopped off half of my itinerary,” his voice was soothing—gruff with hints of exhaustion lingering behind.

“Oh, come one,” you cooed, “what’s left?”

“The beach is just across the street, the pool’s downstairs or we can go out to get something to eat.”

“What do you really wanna do?” you asked.

He yawned widely mimicking a cub; so cute.

“Maybe we can lounge around by the pool for a bit and come back up here to order food,” he suggests, “I know I had hours planned of things to do for the day but I’m kind of exhausted.”

“It’s not like you to skip out on the beach. . are you sure you wanna just go to the pool?”

“Actually. .” he continued in his smooth voice, “I don’t even think I have the energy for that.”

“Impossible!” you exclaimed, “you don’t get to be lazy, that’s my thing.”

“It’s contagious,” Taehyung whined, snuggling closer to your side. His cheeks felt like fire on your shoulder and you swore having him that close caused your breath to hitch at your throat.

“So what—what, uh,” you cleared your throat, “what do you wanna do instead? Do we stay in for our last day here?”

He nodded, “I think so. I mean, we’ve done a lot of things for the past few days.”

“Do you wanna pick the movie or the food for us tonight?”

“I refuse to watch a horror movie tonight so I’m in charge of picking the movie,” he reached for the remote control on the table next to his side of the bed.

You rolled your eyes, picking up the phone and looking through the booklet the hotel provided with a number of different restaurant chains and their menus. After a bit of back and forth between you and Tae as you tried to settle on things, you decided on pizza and a random rom-com on one of the dozen streaming apps provided on the television.

Fifteen minutes later, the food had arrived and Taehyung sat beside you once again, your elbows dangerously close. Your mind, barely on the movie that’s been playing for approximately thirty minutes now, your pizza sat cold on your plastic plate and your thoughts assimilate a busy intersection.

There are so many things you could do but every single one also sat dangerously close to being the end of your friendship with Kim Taehyung.

“Are you okay?” Taehyung closed the pizza box sitting in front of his crossed legs.

You reeled yourself back from your thoughts, “yeah, I’m okay.”

“You’ve been mindlessly staring at your slice of pizza for the past thirty minutes,” he added, placing his hand on your shoulder, “are you sure you’re okay?”

This is how it’s been for some time now. Taehyung remained as soon as ever engaging in the sweetest gestures of comfort a best friend could engage in while your stupid, stupid mind developed its own reality of translating his platonic touches into something more—something it’ll never be.

“I’m okay really. I guess I’m just uh, not that hungry,” you forced a smile on your lips, it actually hurt, “I’m gonna get some fresh air.”

You opened the glass sliding door and walked out onto the balcony, the briny aroma from cerulean waves just ahead became your aromatherapy—easing your nerves. Allowing you to bury every insipid thought you’d birthed as a cause of your delusions.

Your stupid mind and its delusions.

Your hands landed on the black metal railing, closing your eyes and you began softly inhaling through your nose and then out your mouth. You did that over and over until you imagined yourself alone, somewhere peaceful where Taehyung was a long way from invading your thoughts in the best and worst way possible.

“I know being here for so long has made us both homesick but I didn’t think you’d be the one most affected by all of this,” his voice sounded dangerously close. God, all you wanted was a moment alone—a moment to yourself. . To halt all your thoughts. All of them.

“Yeah, I guess I’ve been pretty homesick,” but you weren’t homesick at all.

“Don’t worry, tomorrow we’ll set foot back home and you’ll be back on your bed relaxing,” you hadn’t looked at him just yet but you could tell he was smiling.

“Yeah, I suppose that’s all I’ve wanted.”

“I knew it,” his hand landed on yours on top of the railing, his thumb rubbed circles on your wrist, “I know you, you know. You’re like the only person on earth who can’t seem to enjoy a vacation.”

He was wrong—you have enjoyed this vacation; his company. It’s only solidified everything you’ve ever felt for him and that was the problem. But how could you say that without actually saying that?

You chuckled, “I have enjoyed this vacation. It’s been quite reflective. . Eye opening.”

“Hopefully, the fun kind of eye opening,” he began, “you need to learn to have fun. Let loose.”

“Your party ways have definitely been contagious,” you looked into his eyes, the way you never have before and for a minute you became lost in their darkness—but surprisingly, you were at ease, “I’ve definitely learned all the ropes to having fun.”

“After years of trying I’m glad you’ve finally learned something from your best friend. I’m proud,” Taehyung walked towards one of the lounge chairs and sat.

“Yeah, I guess I’ve learned everything from you these past couple days,” you mumbled.

“See? You could’ve just skipped college just as I did.”

“That,” you sat on the chair beside his, “my parents would’ve killed me for.”

He scoffed, “that’s another thing I gotta teach you now that we’re twenty-one. Bravery is crucial. Learn to speak your mind unapologetically.”

Easier said than fucking done when your mind, heart and body scream out for him. His attention, his touch and his love.

“Bravery.”

“Exactly,” he encouraged, “bravery is a passage so securing everything you want in life. Hold on to that; embrace it. Thread towards everything head on.”

“Well, in that case I hated college. I really really did. And I don’t even fucking like science I don’t know why I majored in Biology. I miss high school and the days we used to chill on the rooftop of the abandoned bowling alley after school when we had nothing better to do.”

He laughed, likely reminiscing on the good time, “I miss that too and nobody said we had to stop. We’re adults but our customs shouldn’t have to die, right?”

“Right.”

“So, we have a date on top of the abandoned bowling alley as soon as we get back.”

“A date,” you mumbled, the word causing your skin to prickle up with goosebumps.

“A date. That’s right.”

Surely, Taehyung didn’t know the effect. . The implication that the word had on you and your emotions. He couldn’t know about the way your hands began to sweat and the way your heart beat erratically as he kept referring to your late afternoon escapes in that exact way. A date.

“A date with you,” you began, your tongue did all the work while your mind ceased all control, “you don’t even know what those words do to me.”

His voice was low, “what does it do to you?”

Your eyes steered in his direction and Taehyung was still sitting right beside you, but closer. His eyebrows were furrowed together inquisitively, his intent gaze was set on your figure disregarding all of his surroundings entirely—as if he didn’t want to overlook a single detail about you ever again.

You shook your head feeling like maybe you’d said a little too much already, “just. . Forget it.”

“Impossible,” he said, “bravery, remember? Penny for your thoughts.”

“Trust me, Tae. You don’t wanna know.”

“I do.”

You exhaled softly, “please don’t make me say it.”

“Say it,” his voice grew deeper and still it felt as softest as velvet would against your skin.

You closed your eyes trying to unscramble the words in your mind, to unravel your mangled feelings and decipher exactly how much of yourself you wanted to strip bare in front of him.

“I—“ it was so hard to let it out. To just say it.

“You?”

“Taehyung,” you breathed, “I just have these feelings I just can’t seem to ever shake off.”

“Are they good feelings or bad feelings?” he asked.

“I’m not too sure,” you shrugged looking off into the clear sky dusted off in orange tones as the sun began migrating down towards the horizon, “—but they’re definitely confusing feelings if I had to say for sure.”

“Confusing?”

“Confusing,” well not so much confusing but rather—hard to decipher, impossible to act on, forbidden, off limits, what else?

It’s you.

“Come on,” he scoffed, “I’m your best friend. Surely, you can tell me what’s gotten into your head.”

But that’s the problem. . You’re my best friend and you’ll only ever be my best friend. It’s both the twist between a blessing and a curse.

It’s you. It’s you. It’s you.

You’ve gotten into my head.

It’s you. It’s you. It’s you.

The voice kept on and on no matter how hard you worked to block it out. It was a reminder that he navigated your thoughts and made you giddy in love, one you didn’t need or want. It’s you. It’s you. It’s you, “it’s you.”

“What?” He asked. Did you say something? You hadn’t said anything. You hadn’t.

“What?” you repeated.

“You said it’s me. .” His stare was blank; hard to read but his eyes were golden under the rays of the departing sun.

You stared back at him without saying a single word.

“You said it was me,” he stuttered, “You you said. . What do you mean, it’s me?”

In that moment you stood before a crossroad unbeknownst to the righteous path to take. Jungling the implications of your two options and how they would affect your relationship with Taehyung from that day. Of course, on one side you had the lie, your very own cloak of invisibility. The same one you’d been hiding behind for years and the same one you’d continue to hide behind—down that road your feelings would be stomped on and you’d watch Taehyung behind a soundproof glass always dwelling on what ifs and what could’ve beens.

On the other side, there was the truth, the road where you would be stripping yourself bare with every step forward you took. Taehyung would finally be aware of your deepest secret—the one where he occupied your thoughts from the earliest hours of the morning to the latest hours of the night. He would know that your mind often lingered off into vivid daydreams where your imagination ran wild creating scenarios where he was finally yours; he would know the way your balms grew balmy and your heartbeat every time he came near. There would be no more hiding, but here you ran the risk of rejection and the destruction of your friendship.

So you stood in front of the two avenues unsure of which direction to head towards in order to begin your journey. But Taehyung waited for an answer while you made a safe haven at your pit stop cocooned by fear and indecisiveness.

The late afternoon breeze rustled the palm tree fronds, swaying them back and forth lightly. You and Taehyung were twenty stories up so that swishing sound was the only thing filling the silence between the two of you. Still, you swallowed your words hoping that he would somehow forget that you said anything.

“Hey!” he rested his warm hand on your thigh calling out for your attention and finally you looked at him. There was no longer a blank gaze lingering in his eyes, now, he seemed worried, “did I do something?”

Oh, this is spiraling out of control so fast. All because you couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut.

Say something. . ANYTHING!

“No—“ you cleared your throat, “no it’s not that at all, trust me.”

“Then, what is it?”

“It’s not important.”

He shook his head, “whatever it is, it seems to be bothering you a lot so it is important.”

There was no getting out of this. Not anymore.

“I guess I just don’t know how to say it,” you jumped over a million hurdles in your mind trying to decipher the best way to just say it. Finally, you took a deep breath allowing your lips to move at their own leisure, “I like you.”

You were so dizzy and enveloped within your own scrambled thoughts. Even though you tried to keep your eyes off of him you couldn’t help but glance at him from the corner of your eyes. And Taehyung just sat there with wide eyes and his mouth slightly parted.

“You like me?” he asked, pausing in-between each word, “like you like me or you like like me?”

You closed your eyes, “I like like you.”

“Like more than just best friends?”

Did you really have to spell it out? Admitting your feelings out loud had you in a state of intense bashfulness, “yes, Taehyung. I like you as more than just a best friend. I have for some time now but it’s okay if you don’t think of me that way. I didn’t even really want to tell you because I was always too scared to ruin our friendship.”

“Come over here,” Taehyung patted the spot right beside him and you moved to sit next to him. He stared deep into your eyes before continuing, “nothing can ever come in between us or our friendship, okay?”

“Okay. .” You felt like a massive weight had been lifted off your chest allowing you to inhale and exhale once again.

“Beside,” Taehyung caressed your cheek softly using the pads of his tender fingers. Quickly, you began feeling at ease as a result of his touch. Then, his fingers migrated lower tracing the outline of your round cheeks until they reached your chin and slowly he began guiding your face towards his so much so that his lips sat just inches away from yours, “I never said I didn’t feel the same way.”

“You can’t just say things like that,” you placed your hands over his as they still held you close.

“I’m not just saying it,” he argued.

“You are,” you shook your head, “you’re just saying it to spare my feelings but I’ll be okay, Tarhyung. I’m a big girl. I can take a little rejection.”

“We’ve been friends long enough for you to know that I wouldn’t just say something like that.”

That was true, “but why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Same as you, I suppose,” he shrugged as his eyes remained intently on yours, “I feared that you wouldn’t feel the same and I didn’t want that to drive you away.”

It’s astonishing how the only thing standing between the two of you and your happiness—and love was yourselves. Doubt and the fear of rejection steered your lives in opposite directions although the gravitational forces stringing your hearts together worked diligently to drive the two of you towards each other despite your cowardice.

“I wouldn’t leave you.”

Taehyung flashed his signature boxy smile, so warm and comforting you felt like he wrapped around you in a warm hug.

“I wouldn’t leave you either,” his eyes focused on your mouth tracing every line and crevice before he met your eyes once again.

The lingering doubt gnawed at your already splintered confidence so despite your treasurous thoughts screamed that he wanted to kiss you in that very moment, your body remained frozen in place—incapable of emitting an appropriate response, too nervous to react in any way and way too scared to make the wrong move.

“Can—” he looked at your lips once again, “can I confess something else?”

“What?” he leaned closer, your nose brushed against his and you couldn’t help closing your eyes. You were feeling too much at once.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“So kiss me,” you whispered.

Taehyung laid back on the chair before pulling you onto his lap as your legs straddled his lap. His hands traveled mindlessly along your body until they finally found their destination on your neck—his method of saying you were simply too far because immediately he began pushing you towards him. Your heart was erratic, your hands were sweating and there were about a million scenarios playing in your head depicting every single way you could probably fuck this up.

But all of that flew right out of your head as soon as your lips met his. Kissing you so passionately you felt grounded, as if he was your home and this is exactly where you were meant to be; where you belonged.

Noone had kissed you like that before and you liked how his kisses were the words on endless pages of his love confession while his tongue sealed the envelope before sending you off into daydreams depicting scenes such as this one and so much more.

Taehyung pulled away; heaving; attempting to catch his breath, “I think—I think we should move inside. It’s getting late.”

Before you knew it your back crashed against the ocean of bed sheets and Taehyung followed right behind picking up where he left off. While his kisses worked to leave you breathless, his hand raked down the fabric of your top before stopping at the waistband of your sweat shorts.

“Can I?”

You nodded frantically anticipating all of the lustrous desires that had sparked up in your mind in the latest hours of the night, “yes.”

Taehyung moved past the waistband and lower down where only the thin layer of your panties stood between his fingers and your cunt but he did not touch you—not yet, you shuddered in anticipation, wondering how he’d render his concupiscent touch. You grew stupefied and your thoughts came to a halt as his teeth tucked at your lower lip, sweeping into your mouth. Everything he did worked to satiate the hunger growing within you, the very one crying out for him to devour you entirely once and for all.

He pulled away from your lips you felt his hands move under the fabric of your shorts, moving your panties to the side lining up two fingers at your entrance, you gasped once before Taehyung slated his mouth over yours swallowing every whimper and every moan to escape your lips as he pumped into you slowly.

It was a vicious repetition that already had you soaked, you uttered low whimpers but it seems he was only fueled by your sensitivity moving quicker and quicker by the second.

He parted away from your lips, whispering in your ear, “you're so wet and warm baby. Fuck, you feel so good, so tight around my fingers. So fucking good.”

“Ah, fuck. Oh, Taehyung please, please don’t stop. Okay? Don’t stop,” you whimpered as you moved to meet his quicken movements fucking yourself on his fingers so sweetly.

“I won’t stop. I promise you I won’t,” his voice was hoarse as he continued, the lewd promises he whispered sent glacial shivers down your spine and you felt the way your legs began shaving.

“Taehyung,” you moaned.

“Say my name like that again,” he groaned.

You snaked your hand around your neck twisting the blonde locs draped on the back of his neck before whispering his name once again he smirked going on and on. There was a flame igniting in the pit of your stomach and there was nothing more potent; nothing you could devote your attention to. The only thing you crave was to put that fire out. So you moved quicker against him until your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you reached that high and finally the fire ceased.

Taehyung left a peck on your cheek before aiding you in removing all of the pesky fabrics standing between him and the vulnerability of your nude body, then, he took off his own leaving only his briefs on. He kneeled in front of your stretched out legs and his finger burned streaks on your skin as they caressed your inner thigh, continuing to devote his attention everywhere but where you actually needed him most.

“Please. .” you begged.

“Please?”

“Please,” you said sternly.

“What do you want?” he questioned with a smug look painted on his features, the little bitch was teasing you.

“You know what I want.”

“I want to hear you say it,” you gasped as he grazed your enterance coating his digits in the combination of your juices and cum before shoving them in his mouth, licking them clean, “you taste so good, you know.”

“Eat me out Taehyung, please,” you cried out.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

He sunk deeper in his place until his face was no longer in your line of vision, beads of sweat rolled down your temples and you ached with fervidity. His breath fanned against your core and at that moment you knew he was near but it wasn’t until he wrapped his hands around your thighs pulling you closer to his face that you truly felt exposed. Taehyung brushed his lips over your slit leaving a trail of gentle kisses behind.

Using his tongue he separated his lips before gravitating towards your clit. He enveloped the sensitive bud between his lips quickly beginning his attack in the form of ravenous sucks and licks.

You gasped clutching onto the sheets to release the tension building within you. Everything you wanted to say out loud died in the back of your throat but you didn’t care about the words you couldn’t say. Your mind was too focused on the way your legs shuddered and your pelvis lifted into the air.

“I’m—“ you cried out, “I’m so so close.”

His fingers found themselves pushing past your entrance once again, pumping into you at a quickened pace. It was almost too much but you focused on the overstimulation of his tongue and touch. That inferno you felt once before burned brightly, this time you couldn’t map out a way to extinguish in its entirety. It would always burn and Kim Taehyung would always be the cause of it.

Whoever said playing with fire was a bad thing was a fucking liar because these flames warmed you up so good like an addiction you just would not want to ever shake off.

You reached down, raking your fingers through his blonde strands pushing him closer to you, doing so until trembled uncontrollably, spilling over on his fingers.

Taehyung emerged with swollen lips, his disheveled hair and his spit mixed with your juices on his chin. His fucked-out look was one that would live in your mind like an art work hung in a gallery.

“Unbeknownst to you, I’ve been yours for a while now,” he stopped to catch his breath, “but after tonight I want you to know that I am yours.”

Your eyes remained shut but you grinned nevertheless, “I believe that’s the post sex bliss talking.”

“I’m not the type to just say anything because of the moment at hand. I mean everything I say.”

“Okay,” you smiled, “can you say you’ll fuck me then or do I have to wish for it when I spot a shooting star for it to come true.”

He chuckled, it was low and thunderous so soothing and calming. It was always peaceful and eased your nerves even now as you laid completely naked.

“I’m sorry, were you planning to fuck someone on a vacation?” you asked ogling, as he fetched a golden packet from his discarded pant pocket, removed his briefs and slipped the condom around his cock.

“Only you,” he said, pressing the tip against your entrance far enough to have your mouth agape as a result but never enough to satisfy your craving to have him fucking you against the mattress, “I promise.”

“Taehyung, if you don’t fuck me right now I might actually loose my mind.”

He didn’t say anything else, you just felt him sliding in slowly giving you the time to adjust before he began moving in and out of you gradually. The air circulating the gray walls around the two of you became humid, hot enough to coat your body in a thin layer of sweat. You didn’t care though, you were enraptured in the feeling of him inside of you, in the echoing sounds of his skin slapping against your skin and his guttural grunts every time he drove into you.

Reality was you’d imagined this moment many many times in your head before but nothing, none of your dreams or your wildest fantasies could’ve prepared you for how much better this felt in person.

There were goosebumps running rampant on your arms, your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your moans and whimpers only increased in volume but you couldn’t help it.

“Harder—harder, please,” your nails drug into his back leaving bright red scratches behind.

“Harder,” he repeated that very word over and over, quickly moving to execute your request.

You felt all of the air being punched out of you everytime he buried himself deep in you, “Oh, yes, like that.”

Taehyung hugged your waist listing your lower half up from the mattress and continued slamming into you.

“I’m,” he thrust into you.

“—yours,”again.

“—to take,” again.

“Use me,” and again.

“Use me.”

You clenched around him continuously, your vision blurred and you felt waves of the scorching heat in the pit of your stomach burning brighter and hotter than they ever had that night until finally you let go.

Taehyung collapsed beside you, the two of you heaved in attempts to catch your breath.

“Fuck,” was all you said.

“Fuck, is right,” he laughed, “I’ll get a warm bath started for us.”

He placed a kiss on your forehead then one on your lips before disappearing into the bathroom.

Taehyung is your best friend but he is also the man who’s taken over your heart in a way that exceeds your platonic bond.

There were no labels attached to what the two of you were but you didn’t need them for now because you knew that Taehyung would always be there for you no matter what the situation looked like.

“Hey, are you ready to clean up?” he kneeled down next to the bed looking into your eyes.

“Of course.”

a/n: out of season au cause im a slow writter but i hope everyone had a good summer and is looking forward to the fall 🍂🍁🍃

what will you miss most about summer?

#for me its the random ice cream runs and afternoons at the beach on the weekends #bts #bts smut #bts reactions #bts imagines #taehyung smut #kim taehyung smut #taehyung x you #taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #taehyung imagine #taehyung drabble #tae smut

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