#also marie's the best character by far change my mind

[alteredphoenix]

I am two volumes into Clockwork Planet and I’m wondering how the hell is this so much better than No Game No Life.

[dr-spectre]

hello!

I've seen your hypnoshades callie stuff alot on my feed, and I just kinda had a question for ya.

if the hypnoshades were, indeed, a metaphor for drug abuse by celebrities...would that not make Octavio an enabler, as he allowed Callie to utilise the hypnoshades (and most likely aided in the creation of them) ??

(this does not make Octavio a totally irredeemable bad person, at least not in my opinion. Perhaps it's the only way he knows that he can help Callie, maybe . It's just something that I've noticed that's never really been brought up in the other stuff that you've written).

Okay.... here's the thing about the hypnoshades. it's pretty obvious that Splatoon 2 in someway was rushed and that includes the story mode. It came out 2 years after Splatoon 1 and it launched with not a lot of content. Unlike something like Octo Expansion or ROTM where there is lots of explanations on things and how things work, in Splatoon 2 there isn't that and it's incredibly rushed. We don't fully know the circumstances of what happened to Callie and how Octavio gave her the shades, all we know is that Callie was like "ok fine I'll hear you out" and joined the Octarians cause of reasons I've said a trillion times lmao.

Octavio for sure did some bad shit let's not kid ourselves. He is the antagonist and he's not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. In some way yeah he enabled Callie to use the shades and therefore she ended up getting addicted to them. Her rematch dialogue in other languages shows that Callie is attached to the shades and is a bad coping mechanism for her because well... She's still doing the acting gig and it's still hurting her.

Heck even Marie in the Russian translation says "why are you so attached to those stupid glasses? Callie, those glasses are only getting in your way!"

However this addiction is actually kinda treated like a joke and makes Callie seem more like an idiot and that.... pisses me the fuck off to no end. I get that Splatoon is silly but this is just near character assassination to me tbh.... Especially how the community treated her in that time.... But i digress.

I still don't think that Octavio is some vile monster that abused Callie in some way shape or form. He treated her as best as he could in that scenario, he didn't restrain her, he didn't force her into anything. He let her decorate bases and do other things because it helped boost the morale of the Octarians, hell the Octarians got inspired by her and made music with her vocals and stuff like that.

I truly believe that the hypnoshades are just that, hypnosis shades. Octavio probably made them for Callie so that she's less likely to just suddenly run off, which is still fucking bad mind you. Callie was willing to stay and yet Octavio was like "just in case....." But here's the thing also, hypnosis isn't mind control and you can't brainwash people with them. The term "brainwashing" is only found in the English translation of the Japanese script and so far we don't have retranslation of the original script and I'm not gonna fully trust the English translation. As a Sonic the Hedgehog fan, i know that some English translations can fuck up important details and completely change the tone of the story so easily lol.

Octavio is more of a caring person than he is not. He has been shown that he does care for troops but he's just a little bossy towards them and he has to be because his race is on the brink of collapse. He has to make these quick and bad decisions to save his people. When his people got kidnapped by Mr. Grizz, he immediately went looking for them and wanted to get revenge. And when he finds out Mr. Grizz did it, he drops his hatred for the New Squidbeak Splatoon and helps them out. His people are his top priority.

Hell if you want the ultimate proof that Octavio isn't the worst person in the world, Callie went with him to the Low Water Party after Octo Expansion, Octavio would not bring a hypnotized Callie that was missing during the events of Splatoon 2 to a fucking rave party, everyone would get his ass lol. So yeah, a Callie not under the influence of any shades went "yeah I'll rave with you!!!!"

She even smiled when Octavio came down to rescue Neo Agent 3 when everyone else was shocked, if that doesn't scream that they are good terms then i don't know what will.

Sorry if this seemed very rambly, when people talk about Hypno/ Octo Callie in any form i lock THE FUCK IN lol!

[somewhereincairparavel]

okay. So I've finished book 1 of keeper of the lost cities for the first time. And I'm loving this keefe dude already?? Like I never thought I'd like a fictional character so quickly. All it took was like one page for me to fall for him, I am aware that keefe is one of the most loved characters in the fandom, and I can see why (correct me if I'm wrong).

Also the book is a solid 9.5/10, the only thing I was frustrated about was probably the slight info dumping about the whole blackswan thing towards the end? because it took me like 3 reads to understand the whole situation, of course, we could just narrow it down to me being slow too, lol. But I'm VERY excited to continue reading the rest. So while we're at it, I'll put in my first impressions of the characters, so I can look back on it after I've read all the books, to see how much my perception has changed of them.

Sophie- i like her, she's really mature for her age, I keep forgetting that she's like 12 lmao. But she's well written, her emotions seem very raw and natural. Of course, she may seem overpowered but, I think that's the whole point of the story, she is supposed to be overpowered, so I don't mind and i wouldn't call her a Mary sue. Overall great protagonist, my girlie deserves a break tho, she got dumped in the hospital atleast 6 times lol.

Fitz- i actually think he's cool. I liked him better in the beginning of the story tho, I feel like afterwards, the dude kinda just disappeared a little? Keefe and Sophie seemed to have more private interaction than those two, and keefe literally only came by in the middle. But yeah, I feel like he had more of a personality in the start. Keefe and Dex, in my opinion had more personality in 5 minutes than fitz did the whole book, but I wouldn't judge so quickly, it's only the first book after all, Hopefully he'd have more page time in the later books. I still like him tho, just not as much as keefe.

Dex- Yeah he is such a typical best friend, I love him. His beef w the vackers is so funny lol I was relieved when Sophie stuck with him even after she became popular tho, also, he seems to have a crush on sophie right? It's kinda obvious, but overall friendship goals 10/10. I vocally "AWW-ed" after he said "are you kidding, i can't wait to tell everyone that you're my first friend" like I need a guy bestie like him :(

Alden- honestly, my heart warmed so much with his father-like dynamic with sophie tbh. He seemed to genuinely care about her well being, but I don't want to get too attached to him tho, just in case becomes a traitor or some shit later on, you can literally never tell with the adults lol. I've read enough books to back that up. But yeah, i really like him and della, the amount of reassuring hugs he gives sophie really heals me :(, They're like sophies 2nd (well, in her case, 3rd) parents. The amount of effort and lengths Alden put to get her out of trouble is actually sweet.

Elwin- This guy is such a W. He is like an adult keefe tbh. He is probably my favorite adult so far lol.

Cassius- I'm sorry, but Mr jerk face over here reminds me SO much of Lucius Malfoy??? Like ?? I feel so bad for Keefe, like poor baby leave him alone smh. I really wanna deck his royal highness in the face tbh.

Biana- absolutely loathed her in the beginning, she gave off such bad snob vibes lol but I love her now. I like the trope of two people forced to be friends w eachother by someone actually end up becoming friends. It's rather uncommon as far as I've read, atleast.

Grady and Edaline- is it bad that i thought they were going to be evil? Yeah I have so much trust issues, it's concerning. But yeah, they're both big W's, their backstory, their temporary contemplation to reject sophies adoption, everything aligned well with their backstory. Greatly written characters.

And last but not least, the king himself, Keefe- okay, he's like added to my list of fictional crushes now lol (along with Percy Jackson, Jason grace, Steve Harrington, chat noir, Eugene fitzherbert, edmund pevensie and Ravi singh ofc). How does sophie not have a fat crush on him, like- ma'am if you don't want him, I'll take him. But jokes aside, he feels like the most authentic character out of them all, tbh. Epitome of great writing. He was inserted to the story as this random dude that sophie runs into, and becomes an og in like 5 minutes. He is like a mix of Eugene from tangled, Kristoff from Frozen and chat noir from mlb all at the same time?? I cannot wait to see more of him and his backstory, especially with his parents. I know alot of people dislike the humorous guy with depression trope since it's overused, but I like how it played out on keefe, he uses school as an escape, which is very relatable.

Also, bonus, i LOVE the world building, the light leaping and all, very creative. I cannot wait to get my hands on book 2

[vergess]

It may be worse for others; but for him and you there is no dread. He is a noble fellow; and let me tell you from experience of men, that one who would do as he did in going down that wall and to that room—ay, and going a second time—is not one to be injured in permanence by a shock. His brain and his heart are all right; this I swear, before I have even seen him; so be at rest.

This is another one of those weird fucking instances where Bram Stoker got to the "right" answer in the wrongest conceivable way.

The argument Van Helsing is making here is that Jonathan is too strong of character to be permanently traumatized.

Obviously that is not how PTSD works,

I'm not going to pretend otherwise, so be at ease, my friend.

Generally speaking, when PTSD alters your brain structure, those changes are permanent, or long enough lasting that they may as well be. However, as anyone who has undergone half-decent post-traumatic care can attest, the debilitating symptoms of PTSD can ease over time as you learn how better to avoid, control, and recover from triggers, and develop better coping skills.

One common (though far from universal) predictor of how severely an event will traumatize a person is related to autonomy. The freedom and ability to make your own choices. The less autonomy a person is able to exercise during and after an traumatic event (or, the more frequently their autonomy is overridden by the situation), the worse the trauma symptoms tend to be.

In contrast, a lot of early therapeutic steps in treating PTSD involve reclaiming autonomy. This looks different for different people, because it obviously has to be individualized. But, common examples of exercising autonomy after trauma include re-framing the trauma through art (writing, reading, painting, whatever) so that the victim can, in a sense, control the "story" of the traumatic event even though they could not control the event itself.

By sheer coincidence, Jonathan Harker has lucked into probably the best case scenario.

His autonomy during his imprisonment was constantly degraded in tiny and massive ways, from controlled sleep schedule changes to forced denial of grooming habits straight up through undressing and implied penetration without consent.

However, he persisted in making decisions and carrying them out, even in spite of these controls. And eventually one of those decisions saved his life. This can easily be turned into a coping skill. He seems not to have lost the ability to make decisions for himself, thus "that step" (as it were) can be "skipped." And since the "steps" had not been invented yet, that definitely puts Jonathan in a better position for recovery.

But let's loop back around to therapies for trauma. Jonathan also happens to have taken a critical step in enforcing his autonomy post-event, too. By entrusting Mina with his journal, he made the conscious decision to let her be his guide. That too is a type of reclamation of autonomy over the story of his trauma. Yes, it means he isn't "making the decisions" himself, but that is a choice he made and is continuing to make each day, safe in the knowledge that if he changes his mind, Mina will still trust him.

That right there combines both autonomy and stability, which also enable one to learn PTSD skills more quickly.

Combine that with the fact that his wife is probably the most competent caretaker short of Mary Poppins and you have a basically ideal candidate for recovery.

Not in any way because of the weird shit V.H. was saying. Just as a coincidence.

And I think to some degree, Stoker likely recognized that pattern, because it plays out pretty regularly in real life. Just, he blamed it on "inherent moral fortitude" rather than "the external support offered to middle-to-upper-class men is so robust and the freedom of choice offered to them so complete that a man in Jonathan's position is simply much more likely to recover than any working class or otherwise marginalized person in this situation."

(Surprise! It was a post about classism all along!)

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

Memories, Held Back Feelings and a Vow (Snow Owl AU)

After much, much, much, trial, error, self inflicted perfectionism, Grade A writer's block and sheer reluctance to finally post this, here’s my latest official fanfic.

The following takes place in an Alternate Continuity of the DC Comics Universe in which the character of Mary Lloyd Grayson, mother of Richard John 'Dick' Grayson' aka the first Robin, the Boy Wonder, not only survived the infamous performance of Haly's Circus at Gotham but later went on being a crime fighter in her right, hence Snow Owl.

I would like to dedicate this fic to my many friends and mutuals on this beloved hellsite for your patience, honesty, and support throughout this time.

I shall tag the following: @thattimdrakeguy @spider-jaysart @celaenaeiln @mothnem @lightdusk96 @camo-wolf @missmadness145 @starlightbelle @adalineozie @tarisilmarwen @sillymanwithocs @bluerene @nightglider124 @bluegarners @orange-s-mario @vampirehal @snothing @confusedhummingbird @lesbiananitafite @richard-grayson-wayne @batboyblog @gothicghost2000 @sbd-laytall @wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever

Of course as with anything; All characters, concepts and locations both in story and in reference are owned by DC Comics Inc. and Dc Entertainment, a subsidiary of Warner Bros. Discovery.

Please Reblog and/or Reply for any constructive criticisms. I will be more than happy to address them and they are very appreciated

And now, enjoy your feature presentation, thank you

As nighttime produced a clear and starry night that draped over the city of Bludhaven, its two protectors, Snow Owl and Robin the Boy Wonder had just barely wrapped up with patrol and stopped any plots and schemes from the superstitious cowardly lot that creates chaos in the streets. With the tight and combined efforts, the streets were safe, their job and their vow to protect innocents in pursuit of justice had prevailed, at least for the night. Thankfully, as they enter the bedroom window to Snow Owl’s room and slip off their respective boots before stepping on the bed right before them, they are reminded in their minds that the upcoming morning was a lazy Saturday so they could sleep in after such a wonderfully exhilarating night.

Since he goes first onto said bed, the Boy Wonder proceeds stepping unto the beige soft wall to wall carpeting, a quick yawn almost escaping his mouth as he does so. Shortly, his mother goes right after him, stepping off the bed on the opposite. As she closes the window right behind her, Snow Owl takes one quick last glimpse to the clear and star-filled skyline that hovered over the city they just finished patrolling across.

She looks to her son, now barely getting off her bed and stretching his arms out in hopes to loosen up that exhaustion he feels all across. “You know what, Snow Owl,” he says as he then lifts up one of his legs behind him, “We might need something much more discret for our security than just your window.”

His mother also proceeds to stretch out one of her own legs to shake off her own exhaustion, while shrugging her shoulders in agreement.

“Well, you do have a fair point there son. Last time I checked though we don’t have a chimney so sliding in like Santa Claus isn’t exactly an option as far as I know”, Snow Owl lightheartedly snarks while making her way to her dresser. From there, she takes out a light blue t-shirt and black sweatpants, meant to change into them once she showers off the dried up sweat and even grime they both got throughout this night.

Upon seeing his mother with some fresh laundry in her arms and realizing he best do the same, he makes his way to first his own bedroom for his own clothes to change into before heading for the bathroom.

“Don’t forget to make sure to get every single part washed up”, Snow Owl reminded her son while slipping off her domino mask and gloves, “you never know where any dirt or other stuff might be left on you...”

“Don’t worry, Mom, I got it”, Robin says with confidence and a firm understanding. “I'll also make sure not to take too long. We have to make sure the water bill doesn’t go up too high in how much we pay for it, right?”

Snow Owl nods. She remembers their last bill having an additional zero than their usual ones. She gives her son a thumbs up. “You got that right; I’ll make sure not to take too long as well. Good thinking.”

With a simple thumbs up to his mother, Robin also takes off his own mask and continues on his way. However, as he does so, there’s something about him, Snow Owl notices. For a briefest of seconds there, she thought she was looking at…someone else. Snow Owl cannot help herself from feeling a sort of…. feeling. Her love for her son allows her to see something in him. She cannot help but see…. her husband, the boy’s father in that smile, that confidence he exudes, just this sort of spirit present within him that reminds her of the man whose unfortunate tragedy those years ago molded the crime fighters they are today.

She closes her unmasked blue eyes as a sort of burning sensation starts slowly igniting in them. A sudden heaviness weighs upon her knees, her ability to stand up slightly slipping away and her breathing picks up. Grief, sorrow and loss. In trying to remember the good times and happy life she had with her husband, those emotions accompany them.

It’s a part of her that’s getting better every day but even after all this passed time, it’s still not easy to completely let go of. What does matter though are as such; in her and her son’s hearts and memories, her husband lives on, they both have brought in the criminals responsible for that loss to justice and above all else, they have each other. It’s those facts that helped Snow Owl overcome her grief numerous times before as it does now. She takes a deep breath in clearing her thoughts. Those thoughts might come back another day, but she’ll be a tad bit more prepared in dealing with them when the time comes. In the meantime, gently holding her domino mask in her hand and regaining her composure, Snow Owl fixes up her bed after the landing both Robin and her made on it and makes her way to the living room.

Once there, she takes note of the pillows, notebooks and pencils littered on the carpeted floor right in front of the couches. No doubt, her son was in the middle of homework duties before immediately jumping at the chance to join her on patrol. She cannot help but have a chuckle as she picks up the notebook and pencils, placing them on a nightstand next to said couches and the pillows back to where they go. Despite being one smart cookie, her son was never really the biggest fan of doing homework. But hey, at least he knows better than flunk it completely, lest he face her wrath. As she prepares to take her seat on the couch, finally giving her legs a break from their use throughout the entire day…. that feeling suddenly comes back to her. Next thing she knows, as her back lays down on the softness and smooth surface of the leather couch cushions, her mind has painted something else entirely for her eyes to see.

As she opens them, Snow Owl’s see…him. But wait is that…her son?

It can’t be right, his jawline looks a bit too firm, and the pupils in his eyes are a dark shade of green, almost emerald.

“Mary? Dear?”

That baritone in his voice and that nickname.

Suddenly the memory in her memory begins to play. She’s not in full control of her past self. She’s at that moment not Snow Owl, defender and hero for the downtrodden of the city of Bludhaven. She was Mary Elizabeth Lloyd-Grayson, wife of John ‘The Flying’ Grayson and mother of her son Richard, you can call him ‘Dick’ for short. Now, she’s not in the well-kept, simple and modern apartment within the smaller urban neighborhoods next to the gym she calls her job sight, she looks within her memories, finding herself at the small, thin steel made trailer, a bit more cramped in spacing but with also similar beige wall to wall carpeting. This wasn’t just a dream; this was her life.

She finally answers her husband who calls for her attention. “Yes John?”

John flashed a content smile as he heard his wife’s reply, “You know that I love ya, don’t ya?”

She nods with a peaceful and all too real smile on face. She doesn't even have to say a single word to let him know. John then leans to press a small yet all too loving kiss on his wife’s cheek.

“Well, it’s always good just to double check,” John says as he lifts himself off his seat and offers a hand for his wife to help her off her own like the gentleman he can be. She takes it and right on cue, both hear a familiar small voice call out from the entrance to the front door.

“Hey, guys! C’mon, we’re gonna be late for practice!”

Both parents chuckled at their seven-year old’s impatience since he was so excited to show them his newest tricks on the ropes. She cannot but smile upon seeing her little boy bounce on his two slipper clad feet right in front of the trailer door with a pouty look on his face. His father proceeds to lay a firm hand on his jet-black hair and slightly ruffle his fingers across it.

“All right, Little Man. We’ll be on the way”, John tells his boy with a firm smile. With her son excitedly leading the way and her husband by her side, she reaches for the handle of the door, turns it, and slowly opens the door, stepping out into the bright day ahead of them.

“Hey, Mom?”

A voice that belonged to her son but now very slightly older sounding snaps Snow Owl out of her memory. Her unmasked blue eyes open to see another smaller pair of blue eyes that belonged to her partner, her son. Instead of Robin the Boy Wonder, he was now Dick Grayson, clad in a blue cotton T shirt with an all too familiar red and yellow S shield that symbolizes Metropolis’ own resident hero, black sweatpants not dissimilar from his mother’s and in his hands his Robin outfit as he was taking the red, green and yellow modified acrobat suit to the laundry machine.

Upon bringing her senses back to the present, Snow Owl stands back up, remembering about her own clothes back at her bedroom and gives her a small smile.

“Sorry about that”, she says as she makes her way to said bedroom, “just was...,” she had to stop herself since usually, whether it was good memories or bad ones, any reminder of the life she had with John before it got so cruelly taken away always was a bit of a sore spot for her soul. She couldn’t bear having her son see if she could help it. He doesn’t need to see his mother in grief, he already has enough on his plate, especially his own reminders about the father he lost. Before even a sign of impending tears can make their way to her eyes, Snow Owl takes a deep yet quiet breath so that her curious son wouldn’t hopefully notice and collects herself before continuing her way to her bedroom...

“Were you thinking about Dad”, Dick asks just as Snow Owl reaches the hallway. She turns around with a surprised look on her face to see Dick’s own, which had a mix of curiosity but also...shame and guilt.

Unable to withhold her answer, Snow Owl sighs and looks at her boy with her head a bit down as she tries maintaining her composure. “Y-yes, Dick. I was”, she finally answers. Then it was her turn to ask something, “but, how do you know?”

Dick’s face scrunched up a bit upon hearing that, which immediately got her mother’s worry since she might have a suspicion about just how long he knew about her own grief despite herself trying to be strong as he is for her. Finally, Dick sighs sadly and looks up to his mother with his eyes having a guilty look on them before he finally opens his mouth to say what he has been meaning to for quite a bit.

“I... I kinda knew ever since at least... when we first moved in here”, Dick says with his voice beginning a hint of crack before taking a deep breath to collect himself before continuing with his answer. “It’s just... I sometimes hear you cry some nights when you can’t sleep, usually after you had a dream about what happened to Dad and well.... the fact he’s.... not here anymore. Is that true?”

Snow Owl stood there almost at a loss for words on how much her son knew about it all. Unable to come up with any counter at that moment, only able to nod slightly at her son’s inquiry.

Dick once more sighed sadly in guilt as he put his Robin outfit on top of a seat on the couch while taking a seat. “I just wanted to say.... I’m sorry.”

This got Snow Owl’s attention like something else, she was kind of expecting it but nonetheless found herself surprised. “w-Why would you be sorry?”

“b-Because....”, Dick once more had to breathe out before stating his answer, “because...I-I know I know shouldn’t worry about it since it’s your business, your own thing and all. I shouldn’t spy on you like that and….” Before Dick can go on, an ungloved hand rests upon his shoulders. He looks up to see his mother with a sympathetic look on her face.

“Dick”, Snow Owl says with an equally understanding tone, “you miss your dad as well?”

Once her question reaches his ears, Dick silently buries his face into his hands. He nods a ‘yes’ while his breathing starts getting a bit more ragged. He was trying best not to lose control of any impending tears himself.

“Dick,” Snow Owl calls with a concerned and worried tone to him, “Just breathe. Nice and easy, okay?”

Dick once more silently nods as he struggles to keep his breathing under control. After some effort and time put into it, Dick can collect himself just enough to speak coherent words again. He puts those words to the forefront by taking his face off his hands and looking up at his worried mother, tears seemingly wanting to be free from eyes but through sheer will of his own, he’s able to keep them in.

“Yeah,” Dick croaks out as he looks up to his mother’s worried face, “I miss Dad too.”

Snow Owl nods in understanding and sympathy. She now understands what goes through her son’s head with only a few words. They are both in the same boat regarding how that loss impacted them to this day more so than she thought. She does wonder something though before taking a seat next to him. “Well, why didn’t you tell me about that earlier?”

Dick takes a deep breath and clears his throat before looking back at his mother with hope for him, the tears in his eyes being all dried up. While the tears had certainly faded out, they left a sign via redness in Dick’s eyes. Nonetheless, he pushed himself onward with his answer. “It’s just that,” He briefly pauses to clear his throat before proceeding, “you go through enough. Some nights.... I....I can hear you cry yourself to sleep. Especially on Dad’s birthday...or yours.”

Snow Owl tries to reach a hand, but her son then continues.

“I mean...you have enough to worry about already. With your jobs, both at the gym and when you’re called up to protect Mrs. Drake, trying to keep our house clean,” Dick feels something in his voice start cracking very lightly before continuing, “me. It’s a lot, Mom and I can’t just make it worse and harder for you by bringing up Dad and how much I miss him all the time. Because...well, you miss him too.” Dick finally finishes, taking a deep breath to collect himself now that he has said what he needed. Now it was just a matter of his mother’s reaction to it.

At first, Snow Owl found herself at a loss for words once more. She hadn’t anticipated how much this life was hurting her son. The signs were all there though now that she can think; the dour look on her son’s face after dealing with bullies at school, the distant and heavy sighs he has whenever he visits the park and seeing other boys his age with their own fathers, while he’s there at the corner and just doing his own acrobatics or other such small things more or less with only his mother as his audience. In all that, all she was able to do was leave him be given he’s always been one to do it on his own. But she couldn’t just backpedal everything after what they had been through together. She takes a deep breath; she might not know what to say exactly but she has to say something. Something for her son to hear, something that can either cheer him up or get her message across to him. It’ll be preferable to remaining utterly silent. Damn if she does, damned if she doesn’t.

“Look, Dick, you’re right, I do miss your father as well”, Snow Owl says, hoping whatever words come out of her mouth will be some sort of breakthrough for him. “And yes, there are some moments and nights where I have thought of him and all he is, what he has done for our family back then and how much I’m sure he still matters to you and...

At that moment, Snow Owl freezes right in her tracks, looking ahead of her and seeing a truly distraught and baffled look on Dick’s face. That came out wrong, the tears in Dick’s began to reform, she had to do something about it, and fast if she is going to...

“Wait…what do you mean that you’re sure he still matters to me”, He was getting started with his rebuttal, Snow Owl for sure now knew she screwed this royal, and it was about to get worse, “Is that supposed to mean that…he doesn’t?”

She closes her eyes cause that Grayson temper was starting to quickly ignite inside of him, so best to let him let it here rather than trying to counter, it’ll only make far more violate. She sees Dick take a deep thought; he was going to say more, a lot more.

“Mom....What makes you believe that what happened to Dad doesn’t matter to me? Do you really believe that every single day I am reminded by my own memories of all those times we were all together and when we were happy doesn’t matter to me? You think the reason.... like just tonight Me joining you on patrol to make sure the people in this city don’t have to lose a loved one to crime like we lost Dad …. you think the reason is something other than Dad so therefore... It.......Doesn’t.... matter? Well get this, it does matter. My school, my crime fighting, where I’m from and what I do that isn’t crime fighting stuff. All that matters to me but who the hell are YOU to say that Dad doesn’t matter to me...Huh?! I get what you go through, why else do you think I try helping whatever I can; laundry, getting some days to make our dinners, paying our bills and watching out if we get things too pricey for us. You’re not the only one doing all that, Dad would’ve done it too, that’s why I do it because he would’ve...I can’t just let you be Miss Dad when I know how to do all that too, someone else must be like how Dad was back then. Thing is though” Dick was breathing heavily; he was losing more control of his tears now on the brink of spilling out of his eyes.

But he can’t stop right now, he had to keep going, she needed to hear this, two damn long years after the fact, she must. Taking one more deep breath, Dick continues, “Here’s the thing.... I....I don’t how I’m even able to do it! I just do it because it’s the right thing to do. But...but...I hate how my school can be. I hate how even if I do fit in the best I can and make sure my grades are top notch, I... I can’t help but feel like I still don’t fit given where I’m from and who I am. I hate how this entire city just, one day after another, no matter how much we try to help, they’re always.... ALWAYS...an ambulance that must get because we failed, and someone got hurt or even worse. I hate that we can’t see Pop Haly every day like we used to, Harry, Regina, Calvin, Raymond, Zitka...all of them, we had to leave them once we lost Dad. I hate, hate, hate, hate Zucco for what he done, for ruining you and me...I just...I HATE IT HERE!! I....just want...I want to go back to how it was before all this...If I’m gonna be someone who can help you take care of the house, can’t it be our real house...the trailer? I just want to go home...our real home” With that, at the end of what he had built up and hurting in his heart and soul for the longest time finally coming out, Dick once more tries his darn best to break through his tears, glaring hurt and heartbroken eyes towards Snow Owl’s own masked ones. Masked eyes, that were also beginning to develop tears of their own....and Dick saw this once he was able to focus on the sight in front of him.

Now he’s all too happy to stand up for what he thinks or believes in if need be; after all he’s done with that man dressed like a flying rodent during those times his mother and him work in Gotham. But this was Snow Owl, the one he was meant to help, both here at this quaint apartment with all he can do as the man of the house and in the streets of Bludhaven almost every night as the Boy Wonder, the one he made an oath by a candlelight to aid in protecting the innocent and stick to the path of righteousness when donning the red, green and yellow those two years ago, the one who makes him his breakfasts, lunches for school and even sometimes dinner when he’s not doing it, the one who was the very first face his eyes ever saw less than five minutes upon entering the world on his personal very first Day of Spring. Snow Owl is his mother and he just made her cry, breaking her heart. He broke her soul and reduced her to tears, tears she tries now to control herself and taking her own deep breaths.

“I...I’m sorry”, He immediately stands up, wiping away his own tears from his eyes and slowly walks his way out of the living room. Snow Owl is too lost within her thoughts to pick up on her son’s bare feet stepping on the carpet floor. Once she’s able to briefly come out of her thoughts to realize this, it was already too late. She only takes one step forwards before she then hears the door to Dick’s bedroom close. He was guilt ridden and self-hating; she hates it when this happens because it’s one of those case where she can’t be there for him no matter how much she really wants to be there for him, but knowing him, he’ll just gently tell her to leave him be, no matter how many knocks to his door she wants to do. Besides, if his guilt induced self-isolation wasn’t bad enough for her, Snow Owl has a whole cavalcade of other feelings and thoughts running through her head; Shame, her own guilt, helplessness, regret, and just overall, grief. As far as she knows, it’s justified she has these thoughts permeating her mind and soul; it’s a punishment for her.

What kind of Mother is she supposed to be? What kind of Mother allows her child to bottle in so much of this soul darkening negativity and sorrow in their hearts? What kind of Mother forces her only child to grow up far faster than he can handle? What kind of Mother spends more time grieving the loss of her beloved husband than trying to help her child recover from such a loss himself? What kind of Mother does all that and it only takes her child finally and seemingly buckling under all that pressure, all because she didn’t do anything prior to stop it and step up as that mother she should be?

Snow Owl, as she slumps into her seat on the couch, cannot help but come to that conclusion. She’s been a bad Mother and as of now, she’s lost in a sea of fog in her mind telling her very much that. Within that fog clouding her mind, some other words, some sounding awfully like herself or some even sounding like her own mother, start coming in from and reach her ears internally. The words themselves are not a pleasant type for her to hear.

Inside her, she felt a sense of failure; yet she also claims that no, a true failure would be if he outright stated he hated her straight to her face. Though he did hate where they were.

This place they live in indeed provides only bitterness over what they lost; though what other choice did Snow Owl and her son have frankly? Their old home was about to go bankrupt via all those lawsuits had they stayed there. It was either them or their home, there was no other way out and nowhere else to go.

Inside her, she now knows she shouldn’t have let her son join in her crusade to fight crime since he has already so much to do at a mere 12 years old; however even if Snow Owl wants to agree with that one, it wouldn’t have stopped her little boy from joining anyways. He was just as determined if not even more so to find the culprits responsible for what happened to John in that fateful performance. There was no stopping him and she knew it. What better way to help alleviate that burning passion of justice for their family than letting him in as her partner.

Despite her best efforts pointing out what was the reality of their lives up to this present day and how much could’ve been done given what they were faced with. But those harsh words kept going and going in her mind, her guilt and self-hatred, as far as she’s concerned well justified, pounding her consciousness like artillery shells exploding across the trenches of the Western Front a century ago. Every time she seemingly gets a rebuttal to those questions and her doubts, a new one would pop up in the middle of it. They just kept coming, each one pounding in her head with intensity, figuratively more artillery shells kept coming by the second.

It was that intense and no matter how hard she tries, they just keep going to the point she can barely even move out of her seat on the couch, her t-shirt and sweatpants still right to her side, awaiting the moment she can change into them after her shower. Finally after shutting her eyes, reigning herself in, Snow Owl notices her breath was getting heavier and with one gulp of her, she snaps her eyes open. Those voices and doubts had almost instantly stopped. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t feel like it was done. Far from it, she’s been dealing with them for years by now, and given what happened right now with her son…those are more that’ll come in the near future.

Realizing her clothes to her side and thinking to herself that maybe a shower can help clear her mind out of....

Suddenly, in her utility belt, Snow Owl’s communicator device starts buzzing, and upon looking at who’s calling, she can see it’s the BPD Chief. She knows this must be serious given how rarely he ever calls her unless there’s either a super criminal on the loose or probably some sort of morbid case not even the forensics department can stomach. She dreads if it’s that type since Dick might be the Boy Wonder but his pained look of discomfort upon seeing a cadaver that either hits too close to home or just unpleasant enough for him to start losing his lunch, that’s a look on his face Snow Owl strives into making sure he doesn’t have to feel if she can help it. Hence, usually in these cases would come Robin being noticeably absent from meeting with their allies.

Snow Owl in short order puts back on her domino mask and presses the answer button. About two seconds later, the face of the Chief of the BPD appears on her screen. “As much as you might or might not like me and how much I certainly don’t like you, it looks like there’s a little something I think you can handle over here. Even my crew certainly can’t stomach doing this one, maybe except our local Medical Examiner, I know for certain she likes you, but I don’t know why the hell she does, but even she might need you around for it.”

Snow Owl went through a torrent of emotions as the Chief spoke to her; amusement in hearing the jealousy in his voice over how much Robin and her were able to do compared to his crew, shrugging her shoulders in acknowledgement of her friendship with said Medical Examiner Trini, but at the end of it a cringed look on her face despite her best efforts to hide it since it was exactly what she was expected but not she didn’t want it, since he mentioned Trini at all can only mean one thing.

“Body turned up, Chief Bruno?” Snow Owl asks with the tiniest silver of nervousness in her voice despite her vocal range accommodating the stoic persona her mask dictates she shows. The fact right after Chief Bruno then sighs and shakes his head while pinching his nose only helps confirm it. However, it didn’t truly prepare Snow Owl for the Chief's next reply as he once more opened his eyes to see Bludhaven’s local vigilante’s masked eyes right back at him. “It’s male, found underneath Little Drawbridge by some kids, probably street punks, looks like it’s recent. We don’t have all the details of it yet, hence why we’ll need your stinking bird butt over here, but best we can tell, victim’s been dead for at least since yesterday and given by the marks we saw on him, no doubt first degree murder, combination of bullets and a knife......he’s a kid.... about 12 at most. Real nasty.”

Snow Owl couldn’t help but gasp. No wonder Bruno’s guys or even Trini need help with this one. Poor kid is probably about Dick’s own age and for someone to do such a horrible thing to him and seemingly dump him to hide their crime so carelessly and cruelly, that’s something she won’t stand. She makes a vow to prevent this from happening and strikes back against the criminal element if it does. One thing is for sure though as she takes a deep breath to process this news; Dick can’t come over tonight, not just because of the nature of this case but given his little moment he had not too long ago, he needs time to himself.

After taking one more deep breath, Snow Owl looks to the Chief on her communicator, “I’ll be there shortly. Tell Trini to meet me in the Examiner’s office and get that victim ready. I’ll bring over my tools for the autopsy if need be.” With a nod, the Chief disconnects, ending the call and allowing Snow Owl to head back to her bedroom and quickly find her boots. As slips them back on and prepares to open the window, she makes a vow within her mind; it was a vow for Dick.

“I know tonight was a little rough, but I want to let you know I’m not mad at you for saying you needed to after so long. There’s nothing wrong with feeling like the pressure is a bit much, especially with all that you have done for so long, too long already for me and this home we live in. I am so dearly sorry you had to bottle it all in when I should’ve said something to help with it. If you don’t accept my apologies and hold it against me, I’ll be fine with it. At least though, you must know that I will try to be better starting today. You made a vow to protect the innocent and be my partner as best as you can. Well, here’s my vow for you; I promise that I will try to be more open with myself for you if you ask. I’ll step up when I need to with the things that need to be done around here. I’ll be as much of your partner as you are mine. After all, family at the end of the day are just that. They’re partners to each other. Sure, I’m leaving you to take your time off for the night during this case, but I promise you, you can be involved in it in due course. I vow from here on out.... I’ll try, Dick. I’ll Try.’

With those words in her mind, Snow Owl, her secret identity being Mary Grayson, locks the windows after stepping out of them, double checks her utility belt for every tool she needs, takes out her escrima stick to fire off a grappling wire and makes her way to the BPD Precinct.

It’ll be Saturday tomorrow anyways so if this thing goes all-night, at least she can still sleep in. Still, a real shame that there’s no movie night but what can she do about it.

[shallowseeker]

srry for the giant wall of rambles I got too thinky bc I was chopping apples and having a suspiciously nice day

do you think cas actually likes bees or if its a fandom trait based on Crazy!Cas who liked bees because of the hivemind resembling heaven?

also i imagine heaven and angels like parasitic creatures while hell is leeches/fungi/deep sea type scavengers

You're apologizing to ME about giant walls? Now, that is a little funny.

BEES & THE QUEST FOR MEANING I've gone back and forth on the bees, but mostly I think it's harmless, and I've made peace with the fact that I'm just not that into it.

Over time I've landed on putting the bees in a more biblical/theological space and leaving them there. I don't even think Cas liked them so much as he was desperately checking out of life and struggling to find meaning in a universe that felt monotonous and horrific -> the wars and sex and the unhappy dogs that can only think in ovals.

Because of his shame and depression, Cas could find no meaning or joy in the rat-race of life. He wants to be a non-participant because, “I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again.”

Here, I view Cas as Ecclesiastes. He was despairing over meaninglessness and the useless "striving of wind." I do think it was a motif that was 100% on purpose, too, because war, work, and career dealings are accompanied by fans, windmills, and industrial stirrings a lot in SPN!

It's very cool. It even appears in The Winchesters companion series, when Mary is facing her childhood!

//

Other Cas Things Interest Me More

Anyway, Cas and bees. Cas doesn't ever really return to them again after he moves past his struggle with his season 7 nihilism/meaninglessness. He seems more enamored with trash TV than bees. "I missed television," is the very first thing he says after getting out of Purgatory, lol.

He doesn't seem like much of an environmentalist either and seems perfectly willing to hand-slaughter pigs and eat shitty food. (To me, Lucifer seems like more of the environmentalist or even AU Zachariah from season 13's Good Intentions.) Or even Cain!

I think in later seasons, Cas seems vaguely aware of and attempting to be appreciative of the fleetingness of the time he has with his human family.

We see this theme in Naomi's words sometime in season 14 (I think?):

NAOMI: "Everything ends, Castiel."

We see it again in Cas’s words to Jack in season 14’s Ouroboros:

CAS: "The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them, you. When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them."

He also, unlike characters like Sam, seems to not get too hung up on agonizing over moral relativism -> judging from his words to Claire in season 10's The Things We Left Behind:

CAS: "Yes, well, um… Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far too easy to do your worst."

And then, there's also his words to Apocalypse-World Cas, "We're the same," & "Yes, we are."

My point is, Cas seems to have made peace with and understands that morality is relative to where your allegiances lie, and he seems good with preferring his allyship to humans.

He also seems to be more focused on the here and now rather than preserving the future indefinitely, which in my mind, goes with bees-as-work and bees-as-future.

You could argue that Jack changes that for him in 12x19 The Future, but I’m not sure… It still seems pretty family- and legacy-focused.

///

HEAVEN AS HIVEMIND This is another area where I really break from the fandom.

I don't view Heaven as a hivemind so much as I view it as a police state/military power, or else I don't think it would be structured the way it is. It's got this rigid party propganada, "We're heartless. Only humans feel emotions and true joy." I view it more as a surveillance state.

On the whole, I think Angelicity deals with the motif of epic, professional repression. On a lower level of existence, I'm reminded of the studies where men say they don't feel emotions but test as having them in equal or more intense measure when you measure psychological arousal and adrenal stress. I view Angelicity as a narrative exaggeration of traditional, brutal, stoic masculinity— a higher, Heavenly masculinity carried to its extreme.

It's got insanely brutal, inhumane emotional expectations. Grace, as my lovely father pointed out, looks a lot like traditional view on virility; it’s powerful and heals all sorts of emotional and physical ailments, but it’s finite and prone to performance issues.

//

In the show, practically every angel we see onscreen rebels, and angels are a huge motif for ongoing Civil War -> "brother against brother."

Despite what Lucifer and Cas and Naomi say, most angels are shown to have their own ideas, and on the whole, are shown to be reckless, angry, wrathful, impulsive, incredibly petty, and emotionally volatile.

I think what tends to happen is people hear the party line about heartlessness and obedience, and that clouds them from what the series actually shows us again and again: angels rebelling left and right and being brutally beaten down and lobotomized for it. (The lobotomies don’t even work all the way!)

Angels have constant, ongoing Civil War because they disagree with each other, even when there's only a handful of them left (Ex: Dumah Vs. Naomi in season 14).

Cas is not unique. That's the tragedy of authoritarianism. He only THINKS he is.

Cas's tendency to think of himself as unique and to think of his dealings with other angels as being "like teaching poetry to fish," is why he reaches for tyrannical god power in the first place. He thinks that, because they don't agree with him, they somehow don't have free will. Which is… kind of a flawed premise.

It's very complicated...but I think the reality is that until recently, Cas was right there with them, beaten down and hammered into shape. Hell, roll back a few years, and he'd have slaughtered himself alongside the others.

//

I think back to Anna's insistence that angels can't feel and are heartless, which is itself contradictory because Anna wouldn't have fallen in the first place if she had been emotionless to start with.

I prefer that she fell to be "allowed" to experience the emotions she probably already had…and had brutally repressed over eons of military dissociation and totalitarian training.

//

Being a soldier wears on you:

We see that, the longer Dean is a soldier, the more he too begins to lose sight of what is right or wrong. Season 15 Dean is so distraught and lost that he vaguely resembles season 4 soldier!Cas.

CAS: "I don't know what's right or wrong, or if you passed or failed here."

//

I LIKE YOUR COOL IDEA!

i imagine heaven and angels like parasitic creatures while hell is leeches/fungi/deep sea type scavengers

Deep sea creatures and fungi are wicked cool. See, you have ideas! You should just write them. I'd read that. Deep sea creatures would make excellent demons too, what with the whole "absence of light" and being down deep and all.

There's something horrific about being alive on all levels, isn't there? We all have to consume something to keep going. One of my fave religious essays is called The Horror of Eating, and it posits that Gods are so scary to us because we naturally put them above us, with us as the food/sacrifice to them. Brrr. This is why the sacrifice motif appears so often.

I guess...as humans, we empathize and humanize our food sources, which is a big part of our incredible neuroses...

[ananke-xiii]

My ranking of SPN seasons (based only on their PLOT) pt. 2

In my previous post I'v covered the following:

15: Season 14

14: Season 15

13: season 7

12: season 3

11: season 6

Let's continue!

10. Season 13: this season was a HUGE disappointment to me. The first 6 episodes are brilliant, the writing is excellent, the actors gave their best performances, the scenes were well thought out, the pacing is slow but keeps the audience interested. The plot is intriguing: the heroes are mouring the death of Castiel while trying to both find a way to find their mother and to take care of Jack. In the meantime, the audience comes to understand that there's a new player in town: The Empty. It's mysterious, it seems evil, it seems total. I'm hooked. However, after episode 6 the plot sort of changes, it's like the first 6 episodes were a completely different season. By the end of season 12 we were already introduced to the existence of a parallel world and after episode 6 of season 13 we kind of explore more of it. The plot goes in that direction: the heroes must go to the alternate universe to save their mother. However, frankly, it's all very messy and overly complicated. I'm usually super pro AU, different timelines, same characters but from parallel realities and the like, but this time I was not engaged. I felt quite let down by this season (which also ends in a ridiculous battle that, once again, undermines everything that was said&done in season 5 but OKAY!).

9. Season 12: this season is a bit of a mystery to me. The main plot is: find Lucifer, consequently find Kelly Kleine and ultimately find Lucifer's son. So far so good. I like it. Clear, linear yet stimulating. The subplot is Mary Winchester and the British Men of Letters. Now, while I enjoyed Mary's character I utterly hated the whole BML arc. Just hated it. That Ketch? I hate him. I have no rational reason to explain why but I really hoped he would be killed off by the end of the season but surprise! He'll stick with us until season 15. Not amused. To be fair, the BML is not really a subplot, more of a parallel plot in that it has no correlation whatsover to the main plot. Also, some crazy shit happens in this season like Dean and Sam get caught by a super special police force, are imprisoned for like 3 months or something? unalive themselves, come back to life by making a reckless deal with Billie the reaper, and then go back to normal and no mention of it all is ever made. Well, okay writers' room. All in all, I gotta say that I place this season here in my ranking because it has some amazing episodes and the ending is a bomb. So I gotta give credit where credit's due.

8. Season 1: hear me out, I know that for some this is an iconic season and, honestly, fair enough. But, as any other season 1 of the majority of TV shows, the plot is not exactly exciting? Sure, we get to know our heroes and their backstories, but there are no allies, no other interesting characters, the 2 heroes seem to be living in a vacuum. The plot is simple, clean and intriguing enough to keep you watching, but it doesn't exactly keep you on your toes.

7. Season 10: oh my, oh my. Season 10. WELL. I have to confess that I hated this season with a passion. This is where I was tempted to stop watching Supernatural. I'll tell you why but first, the plot: Sam and Cas try to save Dean from the Mark of Cain. The subplots? Cas trying to bring angels back to Heaven (?), then the whole Castiel/Claire arc, then again Castiel vs Metatron, the mini and insignificant arc centered on Cole... Many, too many for my taste. The effect is that all these subplots are smoke in the eyes to cover for the total absence of creativity to solve the Mark of Cain plot. HOWEVER, however. Since I hated it with a passion, I've decided to watch some episodes again and to read some meta about it. And I gotta say, I was not paying attention. Sure, the plot is what it is and I won't change my mind about it, but ACTUALLY what happens in this season is that the REAL plot is characters' development, specifically Dean's and, to a lesser degree, Cas's. It also makes more sense if you understand that the whole season is about the Dean-Crowley-Cas love triangle. If you get that, you will enjoy the season. I didn't and, as a result, I didn't quite like it. But I gotta be honest and say that the writing for this season was pretty good. Finally, like season 7, this is a connecting season, it prepares us for season 11 where the real prize is. So, in retrospective, I think it deserves ranking number 7 because it didn't give us anything substantial in terms of events but the characters grow a lot after this season so good for them (and for us).

[ravangie]

Do you like Shrek the Third?

Now how do i phrase this.....

No, i don't like it as a movie, but i appreciate it's existence because it gives me a lot of material to work with.

Let's explore this statement in two parts, shall we:

Part one: why i don't like it:

I DESPISE the whole plot point of Shrek being confused about Fiona being pregnant. What do you mean you don't know how that could have happened????? What do you meeeeaaann????? Those sequences of toddler nightmares are so immature, please spare me from them, my god.

Second, i assume Shrek trying to bond with Artie was supposed to be the thing that helps him come to terms with becoming a father, right? But that straight up doesn't make sense age wise. Because Shrek is scared of toddlers, not teenagers. It would make much more sense to introduce Artie when Shrek is already a father and his kids are entering their teenage years. Also, Artie just makes me cringe, I'm sorry. I know he's supposed to be a cringy teenager but please. Give him at least one charming point, will you.

Now let's talk about the climactic scene at the theatre. I realise that the creators wanted to show how pathetic Prince Charming is with his bad singing, but it only made me think of how not that good the movie is. Like I'm not cringing at the character, i'm cringing at the scene as a whole. You gotta make the scene exciting for the viewer. Maybe merge the escape of the Princesses with Prince Charming's performance, give it the Holding out for a hero treatment. The Princesess show up out of nowhere in the theatre anyway, why don't you show them sneaking behind the scenes, knocking out actors and changing into their costumes to get in or something. GIVE ME SOMETHING. (also Shrek's ha-ha comments on stage are not ha-ha at all)

Now BY FAR THE BIGGEST thing that pisses me off in Shrek The Third is the way they resolve the conflict at the end of the movie. You mean to tell me that a cringy speech from a cringy teenager made allllllll of those villains change their minds and suddenly drop their weapons, give up all the power and riches they could have and become good in a matter of seconds just like that????? And who's gonna allow that??? Are they just free to go their mary way after initiating a rebellion and trying to assassinate The King????? Please.

Also the humor is not it in this movie. Is it even there, you know?

Now for part two: why i appreciate it's existence.

It's simple: because Princcess Charming as the initiator of the revolution is the best thing that has happened to my and Shrek the Third's relationship . The power that she holds is immesuarable. The potential is limitless. I WILL make you all see it. I WILL treat this plot point right, because the movie didn't.

(Once I finally have enough time)

P.S.: Princesses are cool. I'm cool with the Princesses.

P.P.S.: The movie itself is gorgeous. The way the light lays onto the chacarter models like a silky blanket is absolutely magnificentt. The whole latter part of the movie is in these bright rich red colours. Very beautiful. Can't say anything bad about it. If only the story was as good.

[belissmatopolina]

Happy one year ghost anniversary to me!! 🥳💜💐✨

Fashionably late to my own anniversary posting lol you know it’s gotta get emotional under the cut <3

I am SO so extremely thankful I was graced with finding ghost and especially when I did, it truly couldn’t have been any more perfectly timed 🥹💙 By then I didn’t know who I was anymore and didn’t know where to go in life. I was so lost and felt so isolated from everything, even myself in a way. I’m extremely grateful for Tobias not only making nothing but bops but also creating such deeply rich in detail and lovable characters in an equally deeply enriched world where we have the freedom to sculpt both out however best makes us happy 💜 Thanks to ghost I also found Repugnant, and Mary Goore who helped me realize and accept I’m non-binary and that has been extremely life changing for the better as well. Ghost has been in the best and fullest sense life changing, healing me, doing so much good for me making me feel so completely whole again I can’t even come close to trying to encapsulate it all into proper words! 🩷 Without, I would have never met @copias-girl who is so so extremely talented and as sweet as they come, inspiring me to have the confidence to step out of my comfort zone in the first place and because of that I’m even lucky enough to have met such equally mind blowingly sweet, talented, and wonderfully beautiful people inside and out like @ghost-bc-gf-enjoyer and @spooky-creamo-for-primo <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 I love all my beautiful mutuals, love seeing y’all on my dash and being able to give just as much happiness hopefully that I am brought by being graced with your presence <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 It’s like I’ve been given another chance in life and the boost I needed to become better for myself and others and I’m only inspired to keep going non stop to be better and better as the years come. I could keep going forever I’m so full of gratitude but if you’ve made it this far I’ll spare you lol 😋💕🌸

If you have ghost, you truly have everything! 🩷🐀

[waffleweirdo]

I finished the love live sunshine movie… wow, it was very good, wow, wow

Spoilers for sure. I’m mostly just going to be talking about my overall impressions, but there are definitely going to be some plot points I mention that spoil show.

Thoughts on the movie first:

I absolutely love that they seem to go completely insane with the concept of the movies. Like yeah the first half can involve the cast chasing each other around Italy!! Why not?! It was pretty obvious Mari’s mom was hiding something, and that makes her ridiculous plea to get everyone’s help even funnier. She thought that was believable?? And it worked??? Ridiculous and amazing. I love how much fun they had playing around with a new location too.

The little interactions between Aqours (also I just realized I’ve been spelling Aqours wrong this entire time) are as entertaining as always. They are all so wonderful. But Yoshiko stole the show for me I think, her attempts to hide from You and defaulting to just pretending to be a cat. Her redemption and then literally becoming a fallen angel again- I could go on, but it’s all so good.

Saint Snow’s conclusion and the special Love Live was great. I’ll talk about them more in overall thoughts, but I thought they worked really well in the movie!

Unfortunately the only version of the movie I could find didn’t have English subtitles for the songs, so I need to go back and look at those, but I’d say my favorites might be Saint Snow’s song, their song in Italy, or Mari, Kanan (I also think I’ve been spelling her name wrong!) and Dia’s song in Italy.

As far as the overall story goes it was spectacular. I was a bit unsure at first, but it really nailed it all in the end. Aqours moving forward with just six members was heartbreaking, and yet done so well. The ending scene with Dia, Mari, and Kanan did make me cry… I’ll talk more in general thoughts, but I thought this was a wonderful ending for Aqours.

General Thoughts:

Love alive Sunshine is so good!!!!! I love the characters so much!! I love the story!!! It’s super funny!!!! It- it’s great!!!!!!!!

I have a lot I want to say about the story as the whole, but one of the first things that comes to mind is how I genuinely thought they were going to save the school. At the start of the show I was a bit skeptical because they brought up the school closing and I remember thinking, ‘well in this case it sounds more like a population issue, I’m not sure school idols could fix this’. But as the show went on and I saw all their efforts I truly believed they could do it!! And then they didn’t…, They pulled an Orpheus on me! I was tricked and it was glorious.

But I think there’s a piece of that failure that makes Aqours so wonderful. Going in after just watching the original and Mu’s I kind of thought Aqours would be largely pretty similar, and while many of the core ideas were the same it was a new perspective that was just spectacular. Coming in last place in their first concert. Failing to save the school. Even though they often couldn’t succeed they kept moving forwards and they really did turn a zero into a one. That motto alone just encapsulates how effort toward even a mundane thing will eventually make change, even if it can’t be miraculous. I think that layer of harsh reality made them even more special. That’s a lot of the reason I really like them continuing on with just six. They can’t all stay together, but can still move forwards. I’m not saying it nearly as well as the show / movie does, but yeah.

Overall, season 1 was great, season 2 felt a bit iffy at the start (though this could’ve been personal fatigue), and then the middle and ending of season 2 were some of the best episodes I’ve ever seen and made me cry and cheer and yeah-

As far as characters go I love all of them. Chika is definitely my favorite, but basically the rest of the cast is all tied like one step behind her.

I really like what they did with Saint Snow! Having them serve as another perspective of people trying to be school idols, and their interactions with Aqours were just great! It was cool having side characters that got a lot of focus.

General Love Live thoughts:

I don’t really want to compare the series against each other, but I want to look at how cool the ways that Sunshine uses the fact that it’s a sequel are.

Obviously there’s a lot of narrative similarities in structure, and that contributes a lot to the Orpheus moment (listen it just makes sense in my brain). But what I really think is neat is how it plays into inspiration. Love Live as a whole definitely shares a lot of common themes and one of those is being inspired. And the opportunity to have the characters in your sequel be inspired by the first cast is so cool!! I think that idea of inspiration is really cool because a lot of Love Live feels a bit unreal, there’s nothing wrong with that, but I think just seeing something cool that inspires you, even if by chance like Chika is exactly how things like dreams happen. At least for me personally it just felt so real. And her efforts and struggles to turn it into reality benefited a bunch from that. I’m not sure if that made sense, but the connection is cool to me.

Oooookay, I think I’m probably not going to watch anymore Love Live for a bit. I can tell that I’m starting to get burned out, and oh gosh I need to actually do work for school oops. I definitely want to watch more in the future though!

[jtl07]

jt (finally) watches warrior nun - s1 e9 (pt 2)

So I finished s1e9 earlier this week but I’ve been putting this off because … I didn’t like it very much. The only thing that I found mildly thought-provoking was the Avatrice scene where fight or flight was mentioned, which I’ll spend the bulk of this post ruminating about.

Just to get it out of my system, I’ll note my main criticisms under the cut. Jump to the paragraph that begins “Fourth and lastly” for when I start talking about Avatrice.

The main problems I had with this episode were four in total (trying my best to keep them concise lol):

First, the length of the scenes, or rather, how there’s an aggravating tendency to cut to a different scene before any sort of value change has been established (I’m thinking specifically about Robert McKee’s “Story” - this post summarizes the concept) - resulting in confusion instead of a tension that builds throughout the episode (not to mention a sort of “color-by-numbers” feel as we hit different plot points, rather than a cohesive, inevitable narrative).

Second, the blocking/staging and overall logic in the Ava-Bea-Lilith-Mary confrontation scene - Bea pulling a throwing star instead of a knife was strange, Mary shouldn’t have been able to put Lilith in any sort of effective rear naked choke with that height difference, plus if Ava had actually shot Lilith, she’d have hurt Mary as well - while Toya Turner killed that speech to Lilith, I couldn’t help but think that gosh, it could’ve been supported better. Anyway, it would’ve been nice if it had been filmed with less close-ups and more ensemble to really capture the chemistry and layers. (I’m thinking about this video by Every Frame a Painting re: ensemble staging)

Third, speaking of support: There was no support for Mother Superion’s reveal as a a former halo bearer here, and I was extremely frustrated by that. I’m not sure if they were trying to give her an air of mystery, a sort of “will she help Ava or will she not?” tension. But there was nothing to support even that. Like, yeah, her fight with Crimson was cool, but even there was no build up; no tension, just confusion. Then in the grottos scene when Superion tells Ava that she’s worthy, I found myself not believing her - because there were no scenes I could point to that showed me that she’d changed her mind about Ava. From what we'd seen so far, it seemed to me less that she started believing in Ava and more that she stopped believing in Duretti. Lesser evil sort of thing, which didn't really match the content of that scene. Again, while Sylvia De Fanti absolutely killed it, I felt like it could have been more than the disconnected, “oh we have to hit this plot point” moment that we got.

Fourth and lastly, there’s Beatrice’s criticism of Ava, aka the fight or flight conversation. I have a couple issues with this, centering around context and content. First, the context: This scene is following both the fight with Crimson’s gang - where we see Ava struggling with holding herself back to not get involved (which I sympathized with hardcore - Alba sells those moments so, so well) - and Mother Superion expressing her trust in Ava.

While Beatrice may not have been present for the latter, she must have been somewhat aware of Ava during the former - after all, Ava didn’t get involved, she did her job! - but instead of praising Ava for her growth, she disregards it (at best), ignores it (at worst). While the criticism itself is in character for Beatrice - after all, Bea did call Ava thoughtless and self-centered - it felt out of character for her to not have noticed the effort Ava had made during the fight.

Also, zooming out a bit further, Beatrice did do the right thing in bringing more explosives. She’s always been one to think of contingency plans, worst-case scenarios. That kind of planning isn’t personal, it’s mitigating risk - for both Ava and the rest of the team. Here, Beatrice is fulfilling her side of the trust equation: if something goes wrong - regardless of if it’s caused Ava or not - she will have some kind of plan to rectify the situation. That’s her job, that’s the value she brings to the team, to every mission. The fact that the conversation centers around Ava so personally just felt very off to me.

Second, the content of Beatrice’s criticism really rubbed me the wrong way. I hate that physiological reactions are presented not only as choices, but also as a binary - from what I’ve learned, there’s upwards of four responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn). Additionally, I hate that flight is considered lesser, weaker - more selfish, more cowardly.

It really depends on the situation. Whenever I’ve taught self-defense, we’ve always expressed the importance of listening to your instincts and leaving a situation when you think you need to. Additionally, to take a different perspective, there are plenty of military examples where standing and fighting was the wrong thing to do. I feel like we glorify fighting for the sacrificial element of it - but man, living is just as important. Flight has its purpose - it would not have been built into our brains, into our bodies without good reason. Fight is not a superior response. It's just one of many that a person can have.

It’s a very black or white sort of statement from Beatrice and the only leeway I could think of to give her was that maybe for Beatrice, fight is all she’s ever known. That she was never given the chance for flight - or that it was drilled into her head that flight was selfish and cowardly. Taken from a queer and/or Asian perspective, that kind of makes sense. Especially if “fight” encompasses things like “enduring” - as in, enduring the shitty hand that you’ve been dealt, where you learn to survive despite the pain.

After all, Beatrice did say “pain is what made me a sister warrior” - it’s possible that she sees flight, running to be seen as an insult to all the fighting, all the pain she’s had to endure thus far. (Which I suppose that makes it all the more meaningful that she leaves at the end of s2…)

Anyway, I just wish there had been a bit more nuance in that conversation, or at the very least, less of the whole “let’s shame Ava for wanting to live without addressing all the trauma she’s been through” agenda that seems to permeate so many of these episodes in this season.

Sorry this came out much more rant-y than my other posts. Alba was really the only reason why I made it through this episode, she was wonderful to watch in every scene. Just wish there had been a bit more to it, yknow?

[erbodd]

The thing is, you can NEVER know the 19 year old consented 'freely.'

I like to point out 3 girls who were sexually harassed by older men and their outcomes in life.

Me, I was sexually harassed by my 35-year-old professor at 19. I said no, reported him. He failed me in my class even though I'd reported him, the university took his side. My advisor completely lied and claimed I was ranting 'about being raped' during my next very normal session with her about scheduling my study abroad. She then unenrolled me from my study abroad session 3 days before it started so I didn't get to go and had to pay for most of it. I already unrefundable plane tickets to ireland. I ended up being forced out next year because there kept being random 'errors' with my academic record like my financial aid would be cancelled or my major would be changed at random, changing what I owe and making me owe money after aid had been dispensed (I was changed from archaeology to engineering once, the $1500 change got me dropped from ALL my classes and I lost my academic credit and had to retake my tests and midterms. the one that made me finally unable to enrol again was archaeology to education. $400 more that I didn't notice forced me out of classes that had waitlists after the enrolment deadline. I owed everything for the semester and couldn't go back). She also called my job telling them I was unhinged till I got fired.

Second is Monica Lewinsky. I don't think I need to tell you how her life was ruined.

Third is Mary Leaky. She actually married the man who preyed on her. She's known as a mother of anthropology. Can we ever know if she actually consented or maybe she just didn't want her life ruined?

No 19-year-old in their right mind would date someone their parents age.

Hey anon, I feel bad for you. As I feel bad for anyone who's been prayed upon, no matter their age or gender.

But real life is one thing, fiction is another. What's cool about fiction is that as authors, we actually decide how things go, what the characters think and wish, etc., in order to make a romantic story, not a dramatic one.

In the case of this story, the older man pushed away the young one many times because it didn't feel right to him for serveral reasons.

I wish you all the best and hope this chapter of your life is now far behind you.

EDIT to add one thing : When I was 18, I dated a 30+ yo man who was also my first. I wanted this relationship, we dated for two years, he was nothing but nice to me and we went our separate ways when I left him. So, not all age gaps that wide are bad.

[ruijstar]

Girl, I love your bots especially Vin's, they are really fun but one thing is that they are easily blocked by the filter, If there is something in the prompt or in the character's information, anything that makes the program understand that he is not an adult, it will be stopped, Like Vin Jin has school in the prompt (and I'm not even kidding, I took the test swapping school for college and there were no problems) Can you change this please? I want to keep using your bots💛

Tysm i really appreciate ur support, as for the issue i know how annoying it is tbh i really try my best in the prompt for the filter to not block it, although as far as i remember Vin was good with it (also removing the school part kinda changes a lot of things and i wanted to keep him in character) now if you're trying to use him for nsfw (which i don't really mind) and ended up getting the filter you should keep it lowkey, don't use too obvious words and let him lead with the scenario + I made a new Vin bot but it's private and it's really good it has the same prompt the only difference is that user is the best friend instead of Mary. So yeah sorry about that i don't think there's much to do :/

[ajibooks]

Oscars 2024 thoughts p1. I've seen 6 of the Best Picture nominees movies so far and will likely watch the rest. Sharing some thoughts now while these ones are fresh in my mind.

Talking about The Holdovers today (I avoided major spoilers)

The Holdovers

I enjoyed the experience of watching this movie. It's long but I was never bored, because the movie savors every moment. Totally immersive atmosphere; it's set six years before I was born, but it made me nostalgic for the 80s. The performances are all excellent.

I have some problems with the plot & writing. The theme, to me, is that what you choose to do is more important than who or what you are. Hollywood loves this theme! If our personal choices matter more than anything else in the world, then there's no reason to change the systems that hurt all of us.

Personal disclosure: I have a lazy eye! I'm also a funny-looking person, and I can definitely be pedantic despite not being all that smart. I didn't like the running joke of Paul having "humorous" physical problems that the others hadn't known about before. Seriously ableist.

I don't like the plot with the mental patient (trying to avoid spoilers) not only from a mental health advocacy perspective, but also from a writing perspective. It would've hit much harder if the mentally ill person had been able to connect, and then the audience learned the nature & severity of their mental illness. And from an advocacy perspective, it's also more realistic! The choice was made to portray this character as unreachable. That is less emotionally impactful within the story than other possibilities, and it is a disrespectful portrayal of mental illness.

Same problem in this movie and KotFM: standout performance from a person of color (Da'Vine Joy Randolph), but their characters were not written well. Mary has no real flaws, and the narrative does not let her make real mistakes. Also, she still has to manage the white guys' emotional problems even at a moment when she has broken down from grief; the movie doesn't feel like it's asking me to question that situation.

A compliment: I really liked the inclusion of The Newlywed Game for background flavor, because a major theme of this movie is the difficulty in knowing and connecting with people. Would Paul be able to answer Newlywed Game style questions about Angus or Mary at the end of the movie? I'm not sure. Angus and Mary could definitely answer questions like that about Paul, though.

My favorite moment, and it applies to my last point too, was the "crossing the Rubicon" bit and Angus's line there. Angus knew Paul pretty well all along.

I don't think I could rate this movie in any meaningful way because my feelings are so mixed! But it is much more the type of thing I expect from mainstream than indie media (neutral statement).

[billconrad]

    Authors constantly push the boundaries of what is possible in fiction. For example, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein completely opened up horror, science fiction, and intense drama, forcing significant changes in literature and society. In my opinion this was the first radical fiction book.

    I define radical fiction as a story that takes a gigantic leap from reality. Readers are required to accept concepts like impossible physics, alien values, crazy morals, and inhuman rules. Authors like Ray Bradbury, Jules Verne, Isaac Asimov, and Arthur C. Clarke all published in this area. As a result, readers now believe in distant worlds, faster than light travel, aliens, magic, time travel, and ray guns.

    For example, Spiderman’s world has radical biology. A young man uses a silk gland to leap from building to building. To accept this impossibility, readers must overcome tricky hurdles. At the very least, the silk gland would shoot ten feet and be near his butt. How far can a man pee? It is the same biological mechanism.

    I approached radical fiction with caution. For example, in my first book, I explored the impossible concept of immortality. To do so, I carefully led my readers through waves of pseudo-science so they would ignore proven medical facts. My immortality process involved “harvested” human organs which were placed into a host body. This addition provided the host’s immune system with the ability to destroy the “parasites responsible for old age.”

    Is my immortality concept plausible? Sort of. Using harvested organs to achieve eternal life is pure fantasy. Having the immune system indefinitely repair the body is almost plausible. Wink, wink.

    My second book has aliens. In the real world, there is anecdotal evidence to support the existence of aliens. However, aliens certainly have not been on 60 minutes to discuss their political views.

    My approach was basic. The aliens were invisible at the beginning of the story and they briefly interacted at the end. Their visual appearance was “human-like” and they had no special abilities. I was careful to keep their exact details vague by dressing them in invisible suits.

    I feel a gradual introduction led the readers into accepting alien characters. This also avoided many questions. What do aliens like to eat? How does the alien ship work?

    In Star Wars, there were many characters from different backgrounds. Wow, that would be difficult to organize. Star Wars gets away with radical fiction by immediately leaping in. The movie begins on a distant planet where Luke Skywalker presses a button on his light sabre and slices away. Never mind the concept of a “light sabre” is utterly impossible by every known law of physics, thermodynamics, electronics, and optics.

    I treat radical fiction like a gun with one bullet. You wave it around and act tough, but you only get one shot. So, aim carefully. Bolder authors approach radical fiction like it is raining bullets, but this requires a particular reader who instantly gets the altered reality.

    Harry Potter uses his wand to freeze water, a writing bridge I cannot cross. My plots must make total sense or nearly total sense. In all the technical books I read, the experiments I have performed, and technical shows I watched, there has never been a “magic wand” that freezes water. First law of thermodynamics! I struggle to imagine a world where a magic wand could exist. That is a significant writing blind spot that limits what I can create.

    I respect radical fiction authors. They are bold people who push us forward into places I cannot imagine. Someday I might take this leap but for now, I have a lot of ground to cover here on plain old dull earth.

    You’re the best -Bill

    January 13, 2024

    Hey book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

    Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

    Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

    These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

[candlecoo]

if your still doing Au request and you know this series. A Ranma 1/2 au?

YOU HAVE UNLOCKED A RARE DIALOGUE TREE!!! YES, I know Ranma 1/2 it was the first anime I truly fell in love with. I've read every manga, and seen every episode (even the ova's!!!)

It is in my opinion the perfect action(fighting)/comedy. And honestly I rewatched it recently and thought to myself that the transformations/curses in the show could definitely fit in as quirks in bnha!

this would definitely be more of a comedy than canon bnha is so just keep that in mind

- lzuku's quirk comes in one day on time for a child of his age, there was nothing noteworthy about it other than what the quirk was.

- Izuku had come back home after preschool with no changes quirk wise, him and Inko had dinner together and his mother runs him a bath.

- she leaves to do the dishes and let's him play for a while, a half and hour later she goes to check on her son and and finds not her son sitting in the tub but a little girl!

- turns out Izuku's quirk let's him change swap gender through contact of water of different temperatures. Hot water equals boy, cold water equals girl.

- at first Inko worries about his quirk but Izuku doesn't find an issue with it he still feels like Izuku, but Inko more so worries about what the other kids would say.

- so after alot of thought Inko plans to have Izuku homeschooled or do school online. And it works out wonderfully!(thanks to the money Hisashi sends her and his recommendation for the best tutors)

- Izuku is more worried about his quirk not being good for heroics until it hits him! Undercover work and infiltration!

- he can use his quirk to disguise himself as someone else and be unassuming, like an actor! Or an underground hero from in all those movies! It'd be easy to separate his two forms since only his mom and presumably his dad know his quirk.

- so Izuku agrees to being homeschooled as long as he can take whatever classes/hobbies he wants outside of the house. martial arts, fighting, acting etcetera.

- over the next ten ish years Izuku becomes a master of multiple forms of martial arts, karate, weapons and parkour. As well as improv, acting, dance, and of course cosplay/costume design/fashion (he has to make his characters believable)

- when out and about Izuku is every careful about not transforming and carrots a bunch of stuff to prevent it from happening just in case(for comedic effect) and things to help him change back just in case too! (Like imagine him carrying a Mary Poppins esc bag)

- when he feels ready and talks through his plans with Inko to apply to UA which she agrees to and states how proud she is!

- Izuku fails save Ochako during the entrance exam and makes it into gen Ed instead.

(From there it's a bunch of hijinks and too many love triangle just like in Ranma 1/2! Also Fem!Izuku has white hair instead of green, like how Ranma has black hair but Fem!Ranma has red. Izuku is also rather gender fluid in this au(like hair and dress wise, could go either way) and really doesn't have a preference on pronouns and answer to any no matter what gender he is currently displaying)

- Him and Hitoshi become fast friends and finds out about Izuku's quirk by accident and promises to keep it a secret. He also helps Izuku with his mischief.

- said love triangles(?) I have so far include:

Ochako crushing on the boy who tried to save her.(Izuku)

Monoma falling for the girl who complimented his quirk and said he'd make a wonderful hero.(Fem!Izuku)

Todoroki slowly falling for the boy who helped him with his quirk during the sports festival (Izuku (endgame ship)) and then trying to connect the dots between Izuku and the white haired girl!