#also my cat gets anxious every time I go somewhere so he tries to stop me from leaving by sitting on my suitcase. and he also yells

[walpu]

Aventurine who gets all sulky and needy when you have to go for a work trip. He looks at you with a pouty expression when you pack your things and clings to you from behind, trying to get you distracted. If he could, he would reschedule all his business meetings and other work-related stuff just to accompany you but, sadly, all he can do is spam you with texts every hour you're away.

[desire-mona]

siiiigh. todd autism headcanons because im projecting.

(using they/he/she pronouns for todd in this post. will explain but also if u dont agree i dont care, tw for alcoholism. time period is vague but autism hasnt existed as a legitimate medical diagnosis for all that long, so keep it in mind i guess.)

- cannot for the life of him stand welton's blankets. so itchy, just thin enough to not warm you up enough but still make you sweat, not long enough to cover your entire body. yes im making the blanket line in their poem about actual blankets, a boy needs to vent somewhere.

- beyond terrible temperature regulation, ALWAYS just a little too hot which is made worse by her sensory issues when it comes to wet fabric. constant slight agony and it never really goes away. theyre about 5 minutes away from crying about how uncomfortable they are at all times.

- had god awful handwriting until high school, like his teachers could BARELY read his handwriting it was Bad. OOOOOH OH MY GOD THERES A TRAIN GOING BY I CAN HEAR IT HONKING this is a really ironic thing to be pointing out rn but its sooooo worth mentioning. its still honking this is fun. 🚂. anyway. her parents made her spend an entire summer fixing her handwriting bc that was like the One thing her teachers criticised. its Fine now but their motor function simply doesn't deliver in the handwriting department.

- had a VERY INTENSE special interest in aquatic life + marine biology growing up, like read every book about any ocean animal in any library intense. his parents eventually forced him to abandon it because its "not a good career focus" but he still perks up when anyone mentions fish. once talked neils ear off about the biodiversity of coral reefs for roughly 2 hours, neil took her to an aquarium for their first date. rip todd anderson you wouldve loved spongebob squarepants.

- looooves pets, namely cats, but they have Too Sweaty hands all the time so any animal fur sticks onto their hands and just feels. so awful.

- had a brief period in his 20s where he was definitely an alcoholic, started as a social drinker but got too addicted to the feeling of not having to adhere to social conventions quite as hard, especially around other drunk ppl. eventually went sober after they realised they just Cant Stand the feeling of a hangover anymore. autistic ppl r more likely to develop a dependency on alcohol if we do start drinking. just btw.

- gets a Pretty Expansive vocabulary after actually starting to pursue literature. sometimes his family lightly teases him about using big words but it confuses the hell out of him. its just a word she thought would apply best!!

- soooooo obsessed with what other ppls idea of them is, both in an anxious way and out of genuine curiosity. would never ask ppl what they think of her bc she thinks thats 1) very broad 2) seems compliment fish-y and 3) just gonna lead to "i think ur great/ nice/ whatever filler compliment." but the dream is to sit someone (neil) down and just ask him every single question possible about how he perceives him.

- asks a billion clarifying questions about anything someone asks him to do, gets anxious about how many questions he's asking, tries to just figure it out, freaks out about the possibility of getting it wrong, ends up doing the thing perfectly. weekly occurrence.

- never fully grasped the appeal of religion (most definitely grew up catholic or christian or Something) just bc she could NOT let the lack of proof go. ALSO not an atheist bc the vastness of space scares them out of it. religious beliefs r a weird topic for them.

- suppresses a good chunk of his stims in public bc One total time someone looked at him weird while he was chewing on a sweatshirt string and he was like i gotta stop NOW. eventually develops tics and has to mask THOSE in public too. dear god someone let this girl unmask. also i started ticcing while writing that bc my body does this great thing where i only tic when im reminded of the concept of ticcing. its great and totally doesnt make me think im faking them (faking for who? dunno bc it usually happens when im alone)

- DOES in fact stim around neil bc NEIL STIMS TOO!!!!!!!! joyous day when they found THAT out! gets vocal stims of random lines from whatever play neil is practicing for. YEAA ART THOU THEEEEREE was a vocal stim for a solid week and a half which made neil VERY excited (autistic neil. how i love u autistic anderperry)

- velcro is The most evil vile disgusting material to ever grace this mortal realm. he hates it more than anything ever and i mean that fully. the feeling of BOTH sides, the noise, how easily it comes apart, she hates it all.

this is the gender part

never really viewed gender and gender roles as anything to adhere to beyond the fear of punishment if they dont. finds any social convention relating to gender to be Really dumb and meaningless, bc gender isn't (scientifically) real in any capacity, so why treat it like that? for the longest time just shrugged and said "eh, i guess im a boy" bc thats what she was used to being told, and didn't feel particularly drawn to agree OR disagree. eventually realised on a late night that Wait. i dont Actually care what i am. like yeah im a Male i guess but also im just me. my brain doesnt have a gender and i basically am my brain, right? and then never really thought about it again because that's genuinely how little he cares. adhering the most to canon with that mindset, she never really tells anyone (for obvious reasons on top of the overall apathy) and just lets the he/him happen to her but. in my dream world? agender they/he/she todd anderson. and this is MY blog so those are the pronouns im using from now on. i will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl very often view gender differently than allistic ppl, will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl are more likely to be trans. autism!!!

also yes that entire paragraph is just my view of gender, change the pronouns and the todd mentions and its just me. what of it.

[lolitastrn]

deer!reader

a/n : these are just my interpretations of !reader types that i cannot take credit for. i’ve been heavily inspired by multiple writers on this app, including princessbrunette, loveebot, starfxkr and donatellawritings. if any of these lovely writers (or others) see this and feel it’s a little too similar to their version of the !readers, i have no problem in taking it down.

* not my pictures - all found from pinterest

about her :

biggest people watcher, a habit picked up due to her anxiety. can often be found either napping or reading somewhere. practically lives in mary janes. has slight staring issues, but it’s not her fault!! pleated plaid skirts and long sleeved shirts. she has a tendency to ask questions, mainly to matt about the behaviour of chris. extremely quiet and a little awkward which can come off as rude but she’s the farthest thing from it. ‘forever’ by the little dippers. dainty bows tied on everything. always looks lost or confused. carries around ‘lucky charms’ everywhere she goes (they’re actually just calico critters and sony angels). constantly falling over; he knees buckle when she gets really anxious. s1 rory gilmore = her.

with matt :

they both can relate to each other so much it’s crazy. often found napping together, neither of them wake up until around 3 in the afternoon. matt most definitely calls her ‘dear’ or ‘dearie’ i mean… come on now. he loves to listen to her talk about the latest book she’s found herself indulging in. matt’s always taking her on cute diner dates, or out to the bookstore. their love is very gentle and they’re both reliant on one another. since they both struggle with anxiety, they feel most at ease together. he’s had to catch her from falling countless times and kisses each and every one of her bruises. the first gift he ever got her was a customised blythe doll that looks exactly like her. jamming out to ‘bags’ by clairo all the time. all her cats adore him so much. the first time they ever got intimate was a good while into the relationship, around 5 months. matt initiated it, of course, and it was very slow and sensual - it always is between the two of them. protection is a must, she won’t let it happen without it. they both trust each other so much, arguments rarely happen (mainly because they have nothing to argue about - and she hates it when matt raises his voice).

with chris :

at first she’s a little scared of chris, his loudness frightened her. but over time he stopped being as loud around her, understanding she’s very skittish. chris always offers to go to the bookstore with her, even if he does finds it extremely boring. she tells him he doesn’t have to, but he does anyway. he always shows an interest in her latest book, asking questions and willing to learn more about it. he probably calls her ‘bambi’ because her big brown eyes remind him that of a deer. no matter how much he tries to understand her collections of little dolls, he just can’t - often buying the wrong thing, but it’s the thought that counts! chris knows how to help with her anxiety, having experience with matt when they were younger. he wants nothing more than for her to feel safe around him, and she does. much like with matt, whenever they get initiate protection is very much needed. chris worries he might be hurting her, and no matter how many times she tells him it’s ok and he can go faster, his pace remains slow. he holds her as though she’ll break and she adores how careful he is with her. she appreciates how much he cares for her, even if sometimes he does frighten her with his foolish ways.

a/n 2 : although i think deer!reader is best paired with matt, her and chris are super cute too!! i just think matt would give her the more gentle love she deserves; chris can get a little ahead of himself sometimes, but that’s just my opinion ! also there’s a little self insertion here whoopsie daisies :p

[tommybaholland]

when their s/o is trying to adopt a pet

featuring: haruka, makoto, and rin

somewhat self-indulgent as i am currently enjoying time with my new favorite boy <3 enjoy! 

haruka 

he never grew up with any animals in the house 

so he didn’t really understand why this was so important to you

you had to put your dog down recently and that ended up being a very emotional and hard event for you

that dog grew up with you and it’s sad that they can’t live as long as humans

it was harsh but haru always saw it as just an animal and he had never really thought about the bond a person can have with one

however, he felt sympathetic towards your loss and didn’t like seeing you so down

not even the mackerel dish he made that you both loved could cheer you up :’(

at this point he didn’t really care about anything else except seeing your smile again

one day he decided to take you out somewhere but wouldn’t say where

planned dates had never really been his thing so this was a nice surprise for you

you end up going to several animal lounges in the area where you played with dogs and cats and even some rabbits

and it did put a smile back on your face again which made him smile as well

in fact, playing with the animals made him realize that they all deserve someone to love them just like you deserved his love

at the end of that day, he tells you his intentions

“i know you haven’t been feeling very good lately and i’m sorry if i neglected that. i thought going out and petting some animals would help and if there was one you liked, you should adopt them and i want to help take care of it with you.”

he’s not the most romantic but this was definitely one of those moments where you could cry tears of joy over how much you love him

you thank him with a loving kiss on the cheek and tell him about all the animals you liked

he even has a small list of his own :’)

makoto 

he’s only owned fish as pets 

he feels like he’d be no help when trying to take care of a furry land animal

but he wasn’t opposed to looking at adopting a dog or cat that needed a home with you 

he can be a little afraid of dogs, especially large ones 

he really likes the cats that hang around outside his house 

going to the animal shelter with you, he gets a little anxious with all the barking dogs around 

so he enjoys looking at the cats more

there was one shelter where the volunteers often let the cats out of their cage to interact and play with people 

he really enjoyed this and a lot of the cats seemed to like him as well

there was just one in particular that he was weary of 

you brought his attention to the cat in question, whom you seemed interested in 

of course, being his sweet self, he tried to be polite about his dismay

“um, babe? you know that’s a black cat, right? they carry bad luck” 

you loved your soft and kind-hearted boyfriend but he could be too superstitious sometimes

you tell him that black cats need a home just as much as the others 

he couldn’t argue with that and agreed to apply for that cat 

you ended up adopting the black cat and when it came time to go pick him up from the shelter, makoto observed how the volunteers reacted

“this is a great cat you picked. i’ll miss him so much.”

he seemed like he was well-loved and you seemed happy with your choice as well 

at the end of that day, your happiness was all that he cared about 

and the cat ended up being very sweet and loved to snuggle 

but that didn’t stop makoto from petting him while saying, “nice kitty. please don’t curse me. good boy.” 

rin 

he was so upset when you told him about losing both your cat and your dog in a such a short time span 

he helped to comfort you from it but definitely cried over it later when you didn’t see 

he didn’t know what he would do if steve died suddenly 

afterward, you were determined to adopt your own cat for the first time

he was so proud of you and was eager to help 

he went to the shelter with you to look at the animals and find out more about adopting 

when he asked you what kind of animal you wanted, you told him you were thinking about a cat but you’d also want something that actually likes him

“don’t worry about me, babe. you can get whatever you want as long as you love it”

little did you know, the adoption process required a lot of patience

every cat you had applied for was adopted before you even got to meet the cat

at one point you had to wait a week for one cat only to hear that she had been adopted too

it seemed like a never ending cycle and you were starting to feel a little discouraged by it all, ready to give up, and wait for kitten season in the next couple of months

luckily, you had a wonderful boyfriend by your side who was positive that you would fine the perfect furry friend

“we’ll find one, sweetheart. you’re gonna find one that you love and then you’ll know why the others didn’t work out”

a few days later, he proved to be right

you were invited to adopt a cat that you loved and he loved you just as much

you were confident that he would love rin as well

but of course, that was wishful thinking

you thought that he just liked you more

until rin began giving him extra treats during the day and the cat was like putty in his hands

that eventually backfired on him, though, because now the cat wakes him up to be fed super early and that was a huge problem on his days off from swimming

the cat got his way every time only because rin knew as soon as the glutton was fed and happy, he could get right back in bed and snuggle with you

it’s wild card night! be free! the swimmers are ready and set for requests..

[x-chubby-reader]

Yooo lmao I’m overwhelmed by your talent. (I hope that didn’t sound sarcastic oh my god). Like, you out here giving my meatball self so much quality content to read 🤩🤧 mmm I don’t really request very often so I’m lowkey nervy bahaha but I was wondering if you could do a hc about Kuroo, Bokuto, and Oikawa with a plus size gf(or s/o if gender neautral is more your style !) who’s insecure. Idk, it’s been tuff lately 😗 if not totally ignore me !! Once again, love your blog !!

A/N I hope this is good enough for you boo... And whats goes better with a spaghetti noodle than a meatball? Anyways  I tried my best with Oikawa, but I full on forgot how to write for him

Lowercase Intentional 

Not Prof read

Haikyuu Boys (Kuroo, Bokuto, and Oikawa) x Insecure! Plus Size! Reader 

Kuroo

you’re insecure about yourself? why?

he wants to know why because full on he didn’t comprehend it at all

no matter your protests, he’ll study with you on his lap

again, almost every thick girls/persons nightmare, just the fear of hurting someone if they try to pick you up or sit you in their lap

and I understand that, because same 

but he dose it anyways, just rolling his eyes while resting his chin on your shoulder or head depending on your height 

feeling more insecure or down on yourself?

expect to find a crap ton of chemistry pickup lines scattered around to make you smile 

literally post-it notes on your walls

are you made of copper and tellurium? because your CuTe

or 

do you have 11 protons? because you’re sodium fine~

in your bag

once you even found one in your toaster (thank god you didn’t turn it on)

he never get tired of putting them everywhere

the rooster head himself will always laugh at your confused face (mostly because you don’t understand them-) 

but you love him anyways, even if you don’t understand him

if your ever around one of your old bullies

homeboy will be so passive aggressive oml 

literally snide remarks= every five seconds 

he literally wont give them a break

even if you ask him to stop, hell look at you with a ‘what?’ expression

as if he didn’t know what you were talking about~

he literally want you to be as comfortable as you can at all times

since he knows that you can be a little awkward and anxious sometimes

if you ever wanted to go out somewhere, he would always offer to go with you

something about him made you feel more confident, even if it was just a small amount. 

Bokuto 

oh baby boy...

ngl his energy rubs off on you and makes you a little more bright and confident

istg you both share emotions sometimes

he gets sad when you’re sad and even happier when your happy

but even his bright sunshine self can’t keep the doubtful clouds out for long

though he can make things a little better

don’t want to deal with people today?

  we’re gonna make a pillow fort and watch movies all day

“well, if you don’t like the people out there, then we can make our own world in here :)”

I’m not crying you are

we need to protect this boy at all costs

I would sacrifice myself for him okay?

he’s trying his best okay?

will randomly pick you up and twirl you around  (beefy boy has no problems) 

 like you never expect it

the boom

suddenly your flying

it literally will get a giggle to come out of you no matter what

like you’re just struggling to make dinner for the both of you

SPIN

no questions ask

then he’ll just put you back down and go on with whatever he was doing

just being in the same 50 mile radius helps with your inscurity

just so you know, he will forever have your back no matter what (ngl he will compare himself to a knight in shinning armor so prepare for that though...)

buts it cute♡

Oikawa

yes we all know he is one hell of a flirt

and oh boy that can be hard for you

him being surrounded by ‘pretty’ girls all the time can beat on your self esteem and insecurity about not being enough

but no matter how ‘pretty’ the girl is, your the only one for him

his little queen

full on if you decide to go to one of his games, he’ll immediately pick you out from the crowd

he’s really said “later hookers, I want her” once it was hilarious-

no but really, he loves you

it kills him inside that you’re insecure about yourself

you suddenly don’t want to wear any of the clothes you own?

bitch we’re going on a shopping spree,

leave your wallet, he will literally pay for everything since he want to be to one responsible for making you look and feel good

istg he’s the type of guy to kiss your thighs and tummy while cuddling because he loves them

full on your just sitting watching tv, and he just plops his head in your lap and kisses your hella soft thighs and stomach

also ngl even though he don’t seem like the one to win, he would start such a fucking cat fight for you it isn't even funny

“wHat did you say-”

usually ends with you holding a bag of peas to his face

but he tried his best ya know?

and that’s why you love him, he’s always trying to do and be his best for you

and there’s nothing else you could ask for 

[cazimagines]

Cazzy, dear! Congratulations on your 900 followers! You deserve it! You writing is fantastic and the writer herself is a sweetie! 💛💛💛 I don't know if you are still taking requests but I wanted to request anything from the smut list with Sebastian Zöllner 👀 (i swear that I tried to pick one but as I was reading the list i just "ohhh this is nice" at least 20 times so... yeah)

Thank you, Artemis 🥺 you are so amazing and kind!

I couldn't decide either 😅 so I consulted @rumblelibrary on the matter and we decided to go with the smut quote, "I couldn't stop thinking about you all day" and the 'Sex in car' so here we go!

It was a normal Saturday.

The radio quietly played in the background as you cleaned the plates from when you had been making an apple crumble which now sat half-eaten on the countertop. Your cat, Mittens, walks between your legs, rubbing up against you in an attempt to try and con more food out of you.

You giggled at her effort, bending down to give her a scratch on the top of her head which had her purring.

You glanced out of the window in front of you, sighing happily as you watched your prized roses lightly sway in the wind, the way the letterbox that you had painted yourself fitted in with the colour scheme of your house made you abundantly happy.

Yes, this was a normal Saturday afternoon.

Until it wasn't.

You watched in shock as a car rounded the corner, and though it had lots of space, it managed to drive straight into your letterbox, subsequently knocking it over.

"What the fuck!" you yell, almost dropping the plate in your hand in surprise. Quickly after placing it down, you picked up the end of your skirts to run quickly to your front door and confront the driver, but as you opened the door you saw a man you had hoped you'd never see again.

"Y/n!" he yelled gleefully, throwing his arms up into the air in excitement.

You groaned, closing your eyes for a second, hoping, praying that when you opened them he wouldn't be there, but when you did he was still there, lifting his sunglasses up and down on his eyes smiling at you.

"Are you drunk?" is your first few words to him, causing him to frown in confusion,

"No?"

"You don't sound very sure"

"I'm confused as to why you would think such things!"

You point to your broken letterbox but Sebastian just scoffs and waves it off.

"I'm not drunk, I'm high!"

"High???"

"High! High on love my dear y/n"

You sighed, once again closing your eyes hoping that this wasn't happening.

"Sebastian, we've been broken up for three years now"

"And you have been on my mind ever since, every year, every month, every day. Like today, I couldn't stop thinking about you all day"

"You're crazy"

"Perhaps, but I've come to take you away, come let's go" he urges, opening the passenger's seat for you to get in but you shake your head.

"I'm not going anyway with you Sebastian"

"Sebastian, Sebastian" he mutters, "Why Sebastian, you always called me Seb before"

"When we were dating, we are no longer dating after you stole that money from me"

"I was going to give it back!"

You scoff, knowing very well he wouldn't and from the look of his worn, messy suit that was almost falling off him, he still didn't have much money, which made you frown at the expensive car beside them.

"Sebastian... where did you get that car?"

"I stole it from my ex-girlfriend"

"You did what?" you exclaim, not believing he could surprise you anymore, yet he did.

"Here look, come with me in the car and we'll take it back together"

"No! There is no need for me to come you should do it on your own"

"But I might not! I might drive somewhere completely different, but if you are there I'll make sure to drive to the correct place"

You bite your lip, a part of you saying you should go, while a part of you said you shouldn't.

"I'd have no way to get back home" you mutter,

"I'll pay for your taxi, she'll pay!"

You sigh and resign yourself to its fate and quickly get into the car. Sebastian smiles widely at you and quickly runs to the other side of the car and gets in.

At first, the car ride was awkward, with Sabastian trying to talk to you, and you effectively ignoring him until he resulted in turning on the music in the car.

You almost chuckled as you heard the familiar sound of the Bay City Rollers 'Saturday night' starting to play through the speakers, fitting for today.

Sebastian rolled down his car window and stuck his head out, enjoying the feeling of the wind rushing through his hair though it made you anxious about his driving. As the lyrics started he shouted them out to the wind.

"S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!, S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night!"

You rolled your eyes at his excitement and Sabastian caught it, "Come on! Sing along. You're not going to tell me you've now gone off the Bay City Rollers, you used to sing to me 'Bye-bye baby' all the time, I certainly listened to it a lot after you left"

A soft smile breaks out upon your face as you start to sway to the music and watch how much Sebastian was enjoying himself. It was almost like the good old days when you two were together and it made your heartache missing them.

"Sing!" he exclaimed, looking back over to you, and you just had to give in.

"At the good ol' rock and roll, Folk show, I've gotta go!, Saturday night, Saturday night" you sing alongside him, the mood of the song lifting your spirits a lot.

That's how you and Sebastian spent your trip, driving through landscapes blasting music as loud as you could, singing your hearts out until finally, he pulled in on a ledge on a hill, looking out over a landscape.

"Sebastian this isn't-" you begin but he cuts you off before you could state you weren't at his ex's house.

"I know, I know, I lied, it's just... I really missed you, I missed us, this. It's, it's not the same without you y/n"

You shake your head, feeling your heart falling, "Seb, don't do this, please"

"Why not? We both want this"

"I can't set myself up for heartbreak again"

He licks his lips and then grasps your hand tightly. "I promise y/n, I can change, I won't steal your money again, I won't runoff. Please, Let me have another chance"

He gave you those goddam pleading, puppy dog eyes, tears welling up. He knew how to play you like a fiddle and of course, you gave into him.

Nodding, a smile broke out onto his face and instantly he grasped your face and pulled it onto his, kissing you passionately. You reached up and grabbed his long hair, wrapping it in your fingers and tugging it making him moan into your mouth. After a bit, he tried to push himself nearer you but there wasn't enough space.

"Let's take this to the back," you say and he nod's excitingly.

Getting out of the front of the car, it hardly took you a second till you both were in the back, and you found yourself lying down on the back seats as Seb pushed your skirt up to your thighs and slowly pulled your pants off.

You had to hold onto the side of the seat as you gasped when you felt his tongue lick your sensitive area, twisting upon your clit before diving into your cunt, quickly lapping at you.

His fingers tightened around your thighs as he pushed his mouth into you, determined to have you cum on his face.

Say all the bad stuff you want about Seb, but one thing he always knew how to do well was eat you out, he was an expert at it. In only a few minutes he had you quivering before him, calling out his name, and oh the wonders that did to him, hearing his name upon your lips, it made him more eager, pushing his tongue as far as he could inside of you until you were coming on his face.

He licked up as much as he could before finally pulling his face out of your legs and slowly climbing on top of you to kiss you again, letting you taste yourself upon him.

With one hand he interlocked his fingers with yours, holding you gently and with the other he undid his fly and pulled himself out, slotting his legs between your thighs to start pushing into you.

You cried out and let out a loud moan feeling the way he stretched you out, and Seb also heaved and moaning into your neck as he trailed kisses upon it.

"Oh god, how I've missed you y/n. I've missed this so much"

"No one has ever been the same" you gasp as he starts to move his hips thrusting into yours slow as first, but then picking up the pace.

"That's because you were meant for me, no one else could satisfy you the way I do, and no one else ever will get a chance to"

"I'm all yours" you exclaimed in the heat of the moment, and at hearing your words he eagerly pushed his hand under your skirt to rub your clit, making your back arch from blinding, please.

"Seb- I'm going, I'm going to"

He grunted as he pushed into you as hard as he could "Same" was all he was able to say before you felt his seed spill into you as he stilled and the feeling of him cumming within you was enough to send you into your own blinding pleasure, your eyes rolling back as you let out a loud moan.

Eventually, he collapsed onto you, breathing heavily as he pressed lots of kisses upon your face, saying how beautiful and amazing you were,

You sighed, wrapping your arm around him to hold him close. You knew he wouldn't keep his promises, you knew he would run off eventually, that's just who he was, but at least for now, you got a chance to pretend that wasn't so.

[artificialdaydreamer]

A somewhat late fic for @jonsimsandcats day.

Jon is a god of cats whose cat followers report that a beast has taken up residence in the wood outside of town and is causing trouble. Jon, unable to say no to helping cats agrees to get rid of this beast only to run into Martin, who is also searching for it.

Warnings for mild injuries to animals and people

—

Jon woke to find a pair of slitted eyes staring at him. It was not an unusual occurrence, he couldn’t go anywhere without the local cats greeting him, or letting him know of problems they were having. He was, after all, the god of cats. They were his followers and his messengers, and in return he gave them protection and knowledge. It was more unusual to not wake up with several cats sleeping on top of him. The tabby blinked slowly at Jon, he blinked back, and it settled on his lap, its fluffy tail swishing from side to side.

The building he’d fallen asleep in was technically a temple to him but humans rarely visited it so it had fallen into a state of disrepair. It was still a sanctuary for cats, they knew that within its walls they could be safe and warm while they slept, but the only other being that really came inside it was Jon. He tried to keep the fireplace lit in winter and set out bowls of fresh water, but there was only so much he could do. It wasn’t like he could fix the cracked windows and provide an unlimited supply of food, he just wasn’t that powerful.

The God of Cats and Curiosity was not a god people often prayed to, not until winter fell and mice invaded grain stores. Cat owners would occasionally set something on their mantle in offering to him, a saucer of milk or a piece of dried meat, but more often than not it was the cats themselves who honored him. He could understand what they said, and sometimes they were the only creatures he talked with for years. In a world where belief was what made a god strong it was a miracle he hadn’t faded away altogether.

“Hello, master,” a voice sounded inside Jon’s head as the cat purred. He stroked its ginger fur and it rubbed its head against his hand. “I have news from the others in town.”

“Oh?”

“They say a beast is lurking in the forest, it has already affected the supply of prey, and several cats who stumbled across it were wounded by it. If we cannot go hunt in the woods we won’t have enough food.” This was news to Jon, a beast in the forest? Not only was it killing animals it had hurt some of his followers, those he’d sworn to protect. His stomach churned at the thought of how they must have felt, had they prayed to him for help? Had he been too far away to hear them?

“Take me to them.” He started to get to his feet, the cat jumped off his lap as he straightened his clothes, making sure the hood of his blue cape covered his pointed ears completely. Despite being a god he couldn’t change his form, or hide the ears and tail that revealed what he was, so he relied on human clothes like skirts and hoods to disguise himself.

The tabby wound its way between his legs before heading towards the door, and Jon followed. The street was quiet, a few humans passed them but it seemed early enough in the day that a lot of them weren’t up. Turning down an alley he saw a pile of crates had been left in a niche and several cats had made themselves comfortable in it, there were even a few blankets and pillows. On one threadbare cushion lay a female tortoiseshell with cuts on her back, the wounds had scabbed over but dried blood streaked her fur and she couldn’t move without hurting.

“You poor thing.” Unwrapping the cloth belt from around his waist Jon dipped it into a dish of water someone had laid out nearby and began to dab at the cuts. The cat hissed, pupils narrowing into slits, but she didn’t scratch him. She knew who he was and what he was doing here. It took hardly any effort to soothe the tortoiseshell, to numb the pain as he cleaned her wounds. The last thing he wanted was to heal the cuts only to have her get sick because he hadn’t ensured they were dirt-free first.

“Thank you, master.” The tortoiseshell butted his hand with her head. “It is an honor to meet you.”

“There’s no need to thank me, I apologize for letting you get hurt in the first place.”

“That was not your fault, master. You could not have known the beast would start lurking in the forest.” The cat shook her head, her tail sticking straight up. “The world is a dangerous place, you cannot be everywhere, even if you are a god.”

Sighing, Jon nodded, his own tail flicking from side to side in agitation. She was right, but it still hurt to know that he could not protect all of his followers from harm. Despite being a god he wasn’t very powerful, people just didn’t pray to him enough. He could look through the eyes of other cats nearby and bless them with safety for a limited time, but his power was finite. Anything more than a league away from him was hard to sense, although it hadn’t always been that way. “I’m looking for the beast, would you mind telling me where you encountered it?”

“I can show you.” Getting to her feet the tortoiseshell stretched deeply.

“Lead the way.”

—————

The forest was dense, trees crowded tight together and thick grasses that made it hard to maneuver, if it wasn’t for the narrow footpath made by other travelers Jon would be miserable. A short distance ahead of him the tortoiseshell cat led the way, showing no sign that her earlier injuries were still paining her. Every so often sunlight would find some way through the thick canopy of branches overhead and illuminate their surroundings, although they both could see in the dark just fine. Jon wasn’t sure how long they’d been walking, but when huge pawprints had been practically gouged in the path he insisted the cat ride on his shoulders for the rest of the journey.

“What kind of animal is this beast?” Jon muttered, ihe tracks were bigger than his hand, and while they appeared to be made by some kind of dog they were far larger than most he’d seen. As they progressed Jon saw several trees with claw marks on them and he started to feel anxious. Sure, he was technically a god, but he’d never really been in a fight before. He wouldn’t necessarily die, not from physical wounds, and he did heal faster than the normal human but that didn’t mean he wanted to get hurt. He didn’t even have a weapon to defend himself.

Somewhere in the trees ahead of them a branch snapped, then another. Jon braced himself as he heard footsteps approaching him, growing faster and louder until he saw a huge brown thing burst out from behind a bush and race towards where he stood. It was all he could do to cast a simple protective spell on the cat and drop her on the ground before the thing knocked him over. His head hit hard-packed earth and the world went dark.

“-right?” A voice sounded from somewhere nearby, sounding concerned but Jon was in too much pain to register much more. He willed his body to heal itself, to reduce the swelling and stop his head from throbbing with every beat of his heart. Slowly, agonizingly slow, he found that he could open his eyes, although the world itself was a blur of green and black. “Hello? Can you hear me?”

Just as his eyes adjusted he saw a face staring down at him, their expression worried. A human? Sitting up so fast his head swam Jon checked to see that his hood was still in place. It had shifted somewhat when he fell, but his ears were thankfully still covered. The human had curly orange hair and a round, friendly face, although they still looked anxious. Next to them sat a dog, a huge fluffy thing, even sitting it came up to Jon’s chest, with light-brown fur everywhere but its face and ears, which were black. Was this the beast?

“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” The human’s voice was high-pitched and laced with concern. Jon shook his head slightly, but winced as pain sparked behind his eyes.

“I’m fine.” Regardless of how worried this human was, Jon didn’t want them looking at him too closely, the last thing he needed was for them to find out just what he was. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh!” They looked surprised. “I was looking for my dog; they ran off and, well, it’s not like I can stop him if he wants to go somewhere.”

“You own this thing?”

“Well, I guess you could say that. His owners couldn’t take care of him because they had another baby on the way and...” The human trailed off, freckled cheeks flushing pink. “Anyway, I’ve taken in strays before so they felt comfortable giving him to me.”

Jon didn’t really care about where the dog came from, but looking at the size of its paws gave him an idea. “I’ve been told there’s some sort of beast attacking animals in the woods, and I found tracks and claw marks on the path-”

“It’s not him! I know what you’re talking about- I’ve had to take in a whole bunch of wounded animals recently- so I came out here to try and find this ‘beast’ too.” Their voice rose an octave, eyes widening with fear. “I brought Silas with me because I thought he could maybe track it somehow? I know he’s not really a hunting dog but still...”

“Has it?” He scanned the ground nearby and found the tortoiseshell cat hiding behind a tree just off the path. Kneeling down Jon held out a hand to her. “I’m sorry, darling. Are you alright?” The cat approached him cautiously, eyes darting to the dog every so often, and he scooped her up in his arms.

“What?”

“Has it tracked the beast?” It was hard to keep from rolling his eyes, Jon didn’t care much for rambling when he had something to do. He absentmindedly stroked the tortoiseshell’s head, trying to reassure it.

“N- No... I thought he had but he just found you.” The human gave a shy smile. “How do I know you’re not the beast?”

Jon stiffened, his ears flattening against his hair and his tail bristling. In his arms the cat hissed angrily. “Do you even know who you’re talking to?”

“Calm down, let me handle this.” It was clear this human had no idea they’d just insulted a god, but as much as Jon wanted to curse them for the accusation he was here for a different reason. “If you don’t have anything helpful to say then this is where we part.” He continued to comfort the cat as he pushed past them and continued on the path.

“W- Wait!” Glancing over his shoulder Jon saw the human was following him. “I mean, we both have the same goal, don’t we? We both want to find this beast and stop it from hurting the local animals. Why don’t we look for it together?”

“I can’t stop you from following me.” Jon sighed and tugged his hood farther forward. He had a feeling that he’d made the wrong decision, but he’d spoken the truth. Besides, this human was larger than he was, with them and the dog he might stand a chance against this beast.

They walked in silence for a while, but like all good things it didn’t last. “I just realized I never got your name; I’m Martin, Martin Blackwood.”

“Jon.” He didn’t feel much like talking, especially since he was trying to listen for any strange noises.

“Just... Just Jon?” The human- Martin- seemed dissatisfied at his answer.

“That’s all I’m willing to share with you.”

“Right, that’s fine,” A pause. “Are you a man?” When Jon glared at them Martin turned bright red. “It’s just, I don’t want to misgender you, that’s all. I’m a man, he/him pronouns.”

“I don’t really see the point of gender.” Jon sighed, pulling on his hood as his ears were flicking enough from irritation he feared it might fall down. “He/they, I guess.”

“Got it.” Martin was a few paces behind, his footsteps louder than Jon’s. “I’m guessing you’re also an animal lover, given that you’re also searching for this beast.” Jon wanted to scream, could this human not be quiet for five minutes?

“Yes, which is why I’m trying to track it. That being said, if it makes noise I will be unable to hear it because you keep talking.” Glancing over his shoulder Jon saw Martin stiffen, his cheeks still flushed from embarrassment. Thankfully he didn’t say anything though, and Jon could have cried from relief.

They continued on, neither of them making a sound as they trudged through the woods, occasionally the dog would run ahead and sniff at a tree or patch of earth but thankfully it didn’t bark. Eventually they arrived in a clearing only to find more tracks in the dirt, the same ones Jon had seen on the path. He was about to say something to Martin when some bushes rustled and a giant wolf leapt towards him.

Having a huge animal knock him over once already that day Jon was more alert, and while he managed to avoid the worst of the beast’s attack its claws still managed to slash through his tunic and he could feel hot, sticky blood running down his side. The pain would come later, once the shock went away, but he was glad to have only gotten minor injuries as he stumbled backwards, clutching the cat to his chest and making sure his hood hadn’t fallen off. His ears were flattened against his hair again and his heart was racing.

“Jon!” Martin rushed to him, blue eyes wide as he took in the wound. Jon pushed him away, staring at the wolf in horror. The beast was as large as a horse, its fur so streaked with dirt and blood, mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. Still, even as his skin knit back together and his heart pounded in his chest he sensed something off about it. Not just its size, but something about its essence was wrong.

Martin had grabbed a broken branch and was holding it like a club, the dog was growling and looked ready to attack the wolf, but Jon held out a hand. “Don’t!”

“That thing nearly killed you!”

“It’s cursed, Martin, it’s not doing this because it wants to.” Placing the tortoiseshell on the ground he took a few cautious steps towards the wolf, one hand outstretched. It snarled at him, crouching down as though preparing to strike again, but Jon tried to reach out with his powers. He was a cat god, but he hoped he could at least calm the thing down from whatever blind rage it had succumbed to. As he drew nearer he saw something wrapped around the beast’s neck, a leather cord so dirty it was almost indistinguishable from its fur. The energy emanating from the cord was the cause of the strange feeling he’d sensed, could that be the source of the curse? “We need to get the cord off its neck.”

“How are we supposed to do that? I doubt we can get close enough.” Martin frowned, but at least he didn’t seem like he was going to attack the wolf.

“Do you have a knife of some sort?” Jon supposed that being the god of cats it was unusual for him to not have “claws” of some sort, but he didn’t like hurting living things. In the future he might start carrying something around, just in case he needed it.

“Oh, yeah! Hang on.” Martin dropped the branch and fumbled at his waist before tossing something to Jon, who barely managed to catch it. Fortunately the knife was still in its leather sheath, the wooden handle was worn but the blade gleamed as though it had been freshly sharpened. Upon seeing it the wolf snarled, baring its teeth and crouching down as though readying to pounce.

“That’s what I was worried about.” Jon sheathed the knife again and approached the beast slowly, trying not to startle it. Fortunately the wolf did not attack, but it didn’t relax either, its ice-blue eyes focused on him.

When he was in front of it he grasped the leather cord in one hand and had to resist the urge to cry out in agony. Jon wasn’t the target of this particular curse, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel the malice that had gone into it. A deer, sacred to the Goddess of the Wild, had been slain by accident and the hunter had been turned into a bloodthirsty monster in return. The wolf howled, out of pain or sadness he didn’t know, but he managed to pull out the knife and cut the cord. It fell to the ground, turning into a pile of ash, and Jon felt his knees buckle.

When his vision cleared Martin was kneeling next to him, and before him lay a woman. Her clothes were tattered, caked in blood and dirt, her blond hair coming out of its messy braid. The dog sniffed at her prone form, occasionally nudging her cheek with his nose or pawing at her as though it was concerned. Jon could see that she was breathing, but no doubt she was exhausted from whatever the curse had done to her.

“This is the beast?” Martin looked taken aback, that the monster who’d slaughtered and wounded animals was just a human. “She looks so... innocent.”

“Everyone looks innocent when they’re asleep. She’s a hunter, but she accidentally chose the wrong prey and angered a god.” Jon sighed, getting to his feet and once more checking his hood.

The cat wound its way between his legs, rubbing up against them and purring. “You did it master!”

“I can carry her back to town.” Jon blinked, not sure he’d understood Martin. “What? We can’t just leave her here, it’d be best to bring her to a healer so someone can take a look at her.”

“Right, of course.” He’d forgotten that humans were so fragile, although Jon could sense that some part of the curse had not left the woman. She had been changed by it, marked by the wild.

The trip back through the forest was quiet, neither of them felt much like talking as they picked their way through the trees. The sun had started to set and Jon had to rely on his night vision to guide them, all the while hoping that Martin wouldn’t ask how he could see so well in the dark, or notice the unusual shine to his eyes. Once they’d entered town a handful of cats approached him, all of them thanking him for getting rid of the beast.

“Wow,” Martin gaped at the welcome party. “Cats really like you, huh?”

“You could say that.” Jon replied, unable to hide his smirk.

It was fortunate that the healer recognized the woman and agreed to treat her free of charge because Jon had no money whatsoever. His followers were mainly cats, and it wasn’t like they were in the business of giving him spare change. The healer called the woman “Daisy,” although the name didn’t seem to fit the huge wolf she’d been mere hours ago. Then again, Jon wasn’t exactly the best name for a god of cats and it was still his name.

It was only when Martin stopped at a crossroads and pointed down one of the streets did Jon remember that their partnership had been temporary. “I live down that way, I’m sure if you ask someone they’ll be able to point you in my direction.”

“Right...” It was strange, he’d only known Martin for a short amount of time and yet he felt a pang of sadness in his chest. “I guess I’ll be seeing you around.”

“Goodnight, Jon.” Martin smiled and began to walk away, the dog bounding off down the street.

“Goodnight, Martin.”

When he returned to his temple and settled down on the pile of blankets he called a bed Jon thought about his day. While he’d originally set off to find the beast because his followers had asked it of him, he hadn’t actually done anything godlike. Sure, he’d figured out that the wolf was cursed and managed to break the cord, but it hadn’t really been that difficult. Apart from getting injured twice, that was. Jon thought of Martin’s kindness when the dog had knocked him over, of his flushed face when he was embarrassed, of his bravery when preparing to fight the beast. As his eyes drifted shut he considered how odd it was, that after being a god for so long it only took one day for him to suddenly feel so very human.

——

One day I will not get ideas for an event the day of said event. Credit to the Magnus Writer’s server for the plot bunny, and thanks to @ravendarkwood for the beta!

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Shuu Dark [Epilogue]

ー The scene starts with the night sky

Yui: ...

...It’s a little late for that, Shuu-san.

Please don’t tell me we’d be better off without each other after we’ve come so far...

Shuu: ...

Yui: I like you, Shuu-san. Therefore...I want to be by your side.

It’s...as simple as that.

Shuu: ...Then.

ー He kisses her

Shuu: Nn...

Yui: ...

Shuu: ...What exactly is it you like so much about me?

Yui: What, you ask...?

( He wants me to tell him, right? It’s embarrassing to admit it up-front though... )

Shuu: Cat got your tongue?

Yui: ...It’s just one example but how you’re surprisingly dependable?

Shuu: Hm...What else?

Yui: Also...Despite what you may say, you’re properly looking after your siblings from the sidelines (1), maybe?

Ah, I also like your love for music.

Shuu: What’s with that weird reason...?

Yui: I mean, you just look so happy whenever you’re listening to music. I like watching you make a pleased expression.

Shuu: ...What more?

Yui: Furthermore...

( It’s a little embarrassing to admit this but... )

Shuu: Don’t go quiet on me. Tell me everything.

Yui: ...I don’t dislike being treated roughly...every now and then.

Shuu: ...You actually liked that sorta stuff, didn’t you?

Yui: O-Of course, that was only because you were the one doing it, okay!?

Besides...Even if you force yourself on me, when you kiss me, it’s always gentle like just now...

Shuu: ...

...It’s rare for you to be this straightforward. 

Usually you stubbornly refuse because you find it too embarrassing.

Yui: It’s still embarrassing even now but...If I don’t make myself clear, I thought my feelings wouldn’t convey to you...

( I want him to understand, because I love him. )

Shuu: ...I see.

I guess I might not have known if you didn’t make yourself clear. 

But now you got the message across clearly. Your body can no longer live without me, can it?

Yui: ...

( I can’t deny it, but when he puts it like that, it’s kind of difficult to nod my head as well... )

Shuu: Being straightforward about ones feelings, huh? That just isn’t my cup of tea.

I guess that’s why you say things like before.

Yui: Like before...?

Shuu: That you didn’t quite know how I feel about you.

...I have things on my mind. However, this doesn’t convey to others because I won’t voice my thoughts out loud. That’s basically it, no?

Yui: Yeah...Probably.

( They won’t tell me. They won’t talk to me...Those are the kind of things that makes one grow anxious, right? )

Shuu: I won’t deny that I rarely ever speak my mind. However, insteadーー

I’ve always tried to show it with my actions. Like this ーー Nn...

Yui: Nn...

( Shuu-san’s kisses really are gentle... )

Shuu: Nn...

It’s no different...when I suck your blood. To be capable of driving me this crazy with just your blood aloneーー Nn...

ー He bites her

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“You were honest about your feelings towards me. Therefore, it’s only fair I give you a response this way, no? Haha...”

“If you like me that much, don’t let go of this arm. If you won’t, then I don’t plan on letting you go either.”

Shuu: Nn...Phew...!

Yui: Shuu-sa...

Shuu: ...No, it’s not just your blood.

With those expressions and sounds of yours...You’re the only one capable of making me feel this way.

Nn, nn...

Haah...See? It’s much easier to express myself through actions like this, rather than wasting a bunch of words on it.

Do you not understand?

Yui: ...No.

( I don’t believe I’m irrelevant to Shuu-san. That part is very clear...However. )

I’m sure it’d be difficult to convey...To anyone but me.

Shuu: Most likely. I wouldn’t do this to any other person after all.

Yui: That’s why I think it’s still important to be straightforward about the things which must be said...

Shuu: ...I know.

I realize that I often don’t say the things I should because it becomes a bother at some point in my thought process.

I’m pretty sure the fact I had to spend an awful long time with a rather bothersome younger brother plays a part in it as well but...I guess I shouldn’t still be blaming it on him.

In the end, it’s still my personal issue. I’m aware of that.

I get this irritated, exactly because I know my own faults.

I’m at a loss what I should do myself as well. That’s probably why I never spoke a word of it to you either.

Not because I don’t trust you or anything.

Yui: Shuu-san...

...Thank you very much.

Shuu: Hah. Where does that come from?

Yui: I’m happy. That you talked about yourself to me...

( Hearing him speak so openly about himself, reminded me once more. That I...really do love Shuu-san. )

( I fell for him as he is, so I should have probably figured that trying to force him to act a certain way would be seen as meddling. )

( Shuu-san was trying to figure things out on his own, so I should have minded my own business instead of attempting to mediate the relationship between him and Reiji as well. )

( I still want to support Shuu-san. )

( However, I’ll stop doing things Shuu-san did not wish for himself. )

Shuu-san, what are you going to do next?

Shuu: Who knows...Guess I’ll return to the human world for now.

If I return to the castle without a proper solution, I’m sure I’ll just get stuck in the same vicious circle. I should take a step back and go clear my head.

Yui: ...Are you sure?

Shuu: Are you asking me if I’m really that reluctant to go back?

Yui: I-I didn’t mean it like that...!

But isn’t it dangerous? If you go back to the manor, you might be attacked by wolves again...

Shuu: Wolves...Aah, speaking of which, that sorta thing happened, didn’t it?

I’ve already got something in mind for that. Don’t worry.

Yui: ( I’m still worried regardless... )

( However, that is what Shuu-san wants to do, right? In that case, I won’t stop him against his own will either. )

( What I can do isーー )

Shuu-san, I will come with you.

Shuu: You too...? You’re gonna follow me even though you’re the one who said it’s dangerous?

Yui: I’m aware of the risks involved. However, I want to be by your side. ...Can I?

Shuu: ...Be my guest. 

If you want to come with me, then hurry up. I’ll leave you behind if you take too long.

Yui: Ah, yes.

Shuu: ...Oi, give me your hand.

Yui: My hand?

Shuu: I can already picture you’d wander off somewhere on your own the moment I take my eyes off you.

So I’ll chain you to my side like this. You could say it’s a makeshift collar.

Yui: ( ...It’s not always easy to understand, but he really is the kind of guy who speaks with actions rather than words, huh...? )

Shuu: Let’s go.

Yui: Yes.

ー They walk away

???: ...

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Yui uses the term さりげなく or ‘sarigenaku’ which means to do something in a nonchalant or casual manner.

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<- [ Dark 10 ] [ Maniac Prologue ] ->

[tallstars-rewrite]

Chapter 25

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Tallpaw was the first to leave. Woollycloud’s story came back to him. Sandstone was still here, under the moor somewhere. Tallpaw never understood all his life what his clanmates meant when they said their lost ones were still with them. They were so far away. But for just a brief moment, even if it was probably in his head, he started to feel it. Sandstone was looming over his shoulder now, watching him sit there next to his mother and wallow. How could he do this to him again? The longer Tallpaw stayed there with her, the more he wanted to succumb to the despair that pulled him down, down to where she was, where the time would slip by as he lay there wasting away. That was what his father meant when he said that dwelling on your emotions never did any cat good. Palebird couldn’t help him. 

Tallpaw gritted his teeth. Of course Palebird couldn’t help him, it had always been his father, not his mother, telling him where to put his paws. Now that he felt more unsure than ever of every movement, he was willing to let anything create a clear path for him. It didn’t matter how afraid he was, or how heavy his feet felt with each paw placed in front of the next. He needed to start doing what was best for the whole clan. And in that moment, there was only one clear choice.

As Tallpaw looked out over the moor on his quiet trek back to camp, he couldn’t remember what it had felt like on that first day with Dawnstripe. The wonder of the world stretching out, or the breeze catching his whiskers and pulling him along, light as a feather. He saw frivolities that he should never have indulged in. There were many cats who would run the moor, and do a much better job of it than he ever could. But there was another place to fill now, and he had to finally stop being so selfish and do what he should have done from the start. The open moor was never really his, and it was unfair to Dawnstripe to waste her time training a hopeless apprentice. But how do I go about telling them? 

Hawkheart called him to his den as soon as he arrived back at camp. He answered the usual barrage of questions. It was just another set of motions they both had to go through. “Did any of the wounds reopen?”

“No.”

“Any additional pain?”

“No.” Well, that one was a bit of a lie, but it didn’t matter.

“Have you started feeling feverish or hotter than normal?”

“No.”

“Good, now wait here for a moment and then you can get out of my fur and back to your own nest.”

As Hawkheart went to the back of his den, to Tallpaw’s surprise, it was Briarpaw who approached him. The medicine cat apprentice looked worried, which Tallpaw supposed was a little better than stricken or blank, as he usually looked as of late. Briarpaw sniffed at him.

“You weren’t lying about the pain, were you?” he asked. Why did Briarpaw always have to be good at catching him on that?

“You don’t have to worry about me," was all Tallpaw said. It was true, he didn’t want to fuss over a bit of pain, but he also didn’t want Briarpaw to feel obligated to care for him after what had happened. 

“It is my job to be concerned...I need to return to it. You seem troubled. I suppose that doesn’t take much intuition...” Briarpaw gave a small humorless laugh. “Who isn’t troubled? Nearly all the clan knows the pain of losing a parent, but...are you alright? You look...distracted.”

“I’m going to ask Heatherstar to let me train as a tunneler instead.” Now that Tallpaw had said it out loud, it felt more real. He was sure now, at least he told himself he was. It was the only right thing to do. 

To his surprise, Briarpaw nearly jumped back and stared at him with wide, fearful eyes. “You’re...b-but why? I thought you’d taken so well to moor running. It seemed to make you happy!”

“There are more important things. Tunneling is my legacy.” Tallpaw replied firmly.

“But...this is surely a rash decision--n-not that I’m saying you can’t make your own choices of course. I’m only suggesting...maybe you should think about it before telling Heatherstar.”

Tallpaw was taken aback by the sudden pitch of Briarpaw’s voice. Hawkheart returned with a bundle of herbs. He caught Briarpaw’s gaze, and some wordless agreement passed between them because Briarpaw simply gulped and said “It’s your choice, of course...” He didn’t say anymore as he helped Hawkheart chew the leaves into a pulp to slather on Tallpaw’s scrapes. 

The injury from the tunnel was probably going to leave a scar across his shoulders. Tallpaw was almost glad of it. He wanted a reminder. Once he left, feeling Briarpaw’s anxious gaze on his back the whole way, he tracked down Dawnstripe and Woollycloud. They should know first.

“You look a little more perked up today,” Dawnstripe said encouragingly when they sat down. “I hope you were able to find some peace in the ceremony..”

“I think I have.” Perhaps peace was not exactly what he felt, but at least he felt a drive.

“So what is this about?” Woollycloud asked.

Dread started to creep up Tallpaw’s spine at the commitment he was about to make, but he shoved it down. He needed to do this. He took a breath, “I want to become a tunneler.”

Dawnstripe and Woollycloud both blinked at him, clearly startled. 

Woollycloud spoke first. “But...you don’t like tunneling at all. What could have changed?”

“This is what I was born to do.” Tallpaw forced himself to sound confident “I want to follow in my father’s footsteps. It was what he wished for me. After everything...I don’t think I could run on the moor again and feel right. I will get past my fear, and you could teach me!”

He hoped Woollycloud would seem excited, but he wore more sadness on his face than enthusiasm. “Tallpaw...I want you to decide your future for the right reasons. You can’t only tunnel for your father's sake.” 

“I promise I want this!” Tallpaw pressed, “I must try.” He turned to Dawnstripe, who seemed unsure of what to say, and bowed his head. “I couldn’t have asked for a better mentor. You have done so much to teach me, and I won’t forget anything. I loved our training sessions together, but I’m not meant to run on the moors. I feel like StarClan is telling me that I’ve been hiding from my real path. You deserve an apprentice who can truly live up to your skills.”

“You’ve only ever made me proud, Tallpaw,” Dawnstripe said. “I’ve always believed you could become whatever you wanted to be. If you stop, I can’t deny I’ll miss having you as my apprentice. But this is your path, and if you truly feel called...I won’t be the one to forbid you from it.”

She looked up at Woollycloud, who still seemed hesitant and unconvinced. Tallpaw willed the tunneler to agree, to just give him another chance to prove himself. He needed another chance. 

“I think this conversation should be had with the leader. This is...a bit unexpected.” Woollycloud said.

Together they went to find Heatherstar, who was just leaving her den. She had been speaking with Hawkheart, who gave Tallpaw a brief look before returning to his den. All three cats dipped their heads respectfully to their leader.

“Good morning,” Heatherstar said, nodding to Tallpaw and Woollycloud. “I’m glad to see the two of you on your paws again. Is there something you need?”

“There is,” Tallpaw said. No timidness, no hesitation. This was the final step. He would force himself to do this if he had to. “Heatherstar, I….” His tail curled anxiously around his back paw. Spit it out. Just say it. “I want to talk to you about training as a tunneler. Some cat needs to try and fill my father’s place, and I know I never can exactly but...I want to try.”

Heatherstar looked at him in quiet surprise, and then over to Dawnstripe, who only nodded. “I’m willing to do what you agree is best.”

Heatherstar hummed, and Tallpaw could see the discomfort in her eyes. “Well...Tallpaw, I understand fully why you want to do this. But I don’t think I can allow it.”

Tallpaw felt his fur begin to bristle “What? But, you said that you’d allow me to change my training later if I decided to! I have to do this Heatherstar, my father always wished for Woollycloud to be my mentor.” When he raised his voice, several cats in camp began to stir from their quiet conversations and morning naps.

“Circumstances have changed since then.” Heatherstar said.

“I can do it,” Tallpaw insisted “I know I messed up last time I tried to tunnel, but it was only the first time. I didn’t know what to expect, but I do now!”

“It’s not just that Tallpaw,” Heatherstar said calmly. “It has nothing to do with your potential ability.”

“Did I hear that right?” came Crowfur’s voice. A couple cats were starting to inch closer. “Tallpaw is interested tunneling now?”

Hazelnose looks anxious “But should we take more young cats to be tunnelers while so many of our systems are so unstable? Woollycloud, you said that yourself, didn’t you?”

Woollycloud looked from Hazelnose to Tallpaw and sighed. “It’s...true. This has come on a bit quickly...Heatherstar may be right. I don’t know if it’s a good time.”

“But it has to be now!” Tallpaw began to feel frantic. “I can’t wait around for moons more! If you can do it, so can I!”

“Tallpaw, I must be honest with you, I don’t know if I’m in a good place to take an apprentice. With everything that has happened recently....” he trailed off, his gaze drifting down. “I’m not confident I can give you my full attention.”

“T-then some other cat. Crowfur perhaps.”

Heatherstar raised a paw for attention. “No, I’m afraid that won’t be necessary. I suppose now that we have so much of the clan's attention anyway...There is something I have been needing to discuss.”

She leaped up onto the meeting rock and called for the clan's attention. It didn’t take long, and most had come out of their nests at the commotion already. “I have conferred with my council,” Heatherstar announced. “This is not an easy decision to make, but there must be a change in WindClan. Our skilled tunnelers have been part of our clan for countless moons, and WindClan owes much of our past prosperity to them. But our territory has changed. The ground has become weaker in many areas. Our ambition to expand below has started to create unrest with the other creatures on the moor we depend on. And worse, the amount of accidents and loss we’ve experienced weighs heavily on us all. Our land is a gift to us, and we cannot demand too much from it. And so, I have made the decision that tunneling as an official rank must be abolished. WindClan will not pursue complex tunneling projects any longer.”

Tallpaw stared up at her, mouth agape. “N-no. No, you can’t do this! I need to be able to do this!” he looked towards the elders, "You can't have agreed to this!"

Flintfoot looked impassive, he'd expect as much from the old moor runner. But Whitetooth sat with his proud old shoulders hunched, gray eyes clouded with grief. 

Fennelpelt just shook his head sadly. "We had the same meeting last time this happened. We hoped for better outcomes then too, and now... we cannot deny it any longer."

“I’m sorry, Tallpaw." Heatherstar said, "We have a choice, and we must carefully weigh the benefits of an old tradition against the costs. I cannot in good conscience choose the former. You will continue your training as you have been.”

“You can’t get rid of the tunnels!” Plumclaw cried “Tunneling is our life! T-the plans that Sandstone made--”

“Heatherstar is right.” Hazelnose said. “The project can’t be done. It was a dream, but all our attempts to plan proved dangerous.”

“What do you know!” Plumclaw snapped

“I know as much as you do! I value our skills, but we’re asking too much.”

Crowfur glared at his son “You’ve always been a tunneler, how could this have changed?”

Hazelnose sounded bolder than he ever had before “It changed when I knew I’d have kits, and I had to think about what kind of life they’d lead and how safe it was. Mistmouse agrees with me. The more we push our projects, the more dangerous it becomes. I don’t want to risk my kit's lives doing something that we can find other ways to do. I cared for Sandstone as much as any of the tunnelers, he was the best of us--and if even he could be caught in such an accident...We must accept that what he wanted was too much. Let us not lose anymore than we have.”

To Tallpaw’s horror he heard voices of agreement from all around. He looked desperately at Woollycloud. “Woollycloud, you must say something! W-WindClan’s legacy--”

But Woollycloud’s defeated look said everything. He simply looked away with a heavy sigh.

“This decision is final.” Heatherstar called out. “WindClan will never forget our burrowing skills, we will keep the short tunnels that serve as escape routes from predators on the open moor, but we cannot split ourselves into opposing groups anymore. We must be one clan, and share our skills, not divide ourselves into factions. Tunnel running and patrolling long stretches underground takes too much time and risk to maintain. Without those long tunnels to keep, there’s no point in designating tunneling as a separate rank. From today, no cat is permitted to go down into the tunnel systems while the wet weather remains. And when the ground dries, the longest and unstable tunnels must be abandoned and have their entrances blocked.  Tunnelers will be assigned normal patrols with the moor runners rather than going on separate missions. That is all. This meeting is finished.”

Tallpaw sat there in shock. Heatherstar had hardly allowed any debate. It was exactly as his father had feared, and he didn’t know what to say to stop it.

He hardly noticed Woollycloud coming to sit beside him. “I understand your feelings perhaps better than any cat. I have lost loved ones to the tunnels but...I always wanted to go on, in their name. I thought it was what they would have wanted. If they were still here, they may have the chance to agree to this change. But they aren’t, and that’s just the problem. Even if it feels wrong, perhaps the best way to uphold their memory is to make sure old mistakes and accidents can’t be repeated. Stone Claws and his children prided themselves on their ability to adapt to new threats. Perhaps this is how we must adapt again.”

Dawnstripe brushed her tail against him. “I’m sorry you’re disappointed, Tallpaw. I understand, but you must continue your training with me. You’re an excellent runner, and you will make your clan proud. What more could your father have wanted?”

He wanted so much more…

  “What can I do?” Tallpaw’s voice was hollow. “It can never be better now. I've already failed...”

“Tallpaw…” Dawnstripe began, but he turned away from her.

“I need to go.” 

Without further explanation he ran from camp, ignoring Woollycloud and Dawnstripe’s voices calling after him. How could this have happened? If he hadn’t gotten scared in those tunnels, Heatherstar wouldn’t have started considering shutting them down. If he hadn’t messed them up, maybe they wouldn’t have been so unstable when Sandstone went in for all he knew! Everything was falling apart. Heatherstar and Dawnstripe and Woollycloud all looked at him with such pity. Pity he didn’t deserve They’ll let you get away with it, but never forget how this has hurt me. Sandstone snarled in his ear. His paws thudded against the ground and he heard his father's outraged growl continue. You just let her do this. Everything is ruined now. Everything we ever hoped for.

He couldn’t stand it. He ran without direction. He thought he knew how he could repair this horrible pain, or at least how he could make it lessen but now...now there was no chance of relief. Tallpaw was running through open air and still felt like he was suffocating underground.

He slowed his run to a fast walk, and found himself heading north. Did he want to go back to the burrows? No. He needed some relief from this, to get it out of his head if only for the briefest of moments, before it crushed him completely. His paws directed him to the treeline. Jake? How could he think to look for Jake now? Dawnstripe was probably right behind him. But Tallpaw couldn’t think about that right now. He just wanted to be anywhere else but WindClan. Even the blistering wind itself picked up suddenly, whipping at his ears, as if scolding him. He had never felt so exposed and helpless on the moor before. He needed to go as far as he could reasonably allow himself to go--and right now, to Jake was all he could manage. What would he even say to him? Probably nothing. Jake would be able to tell he was upset, Tallpaw would decline talking about it, so the barn cat would start rambling aimlessly about a bird he saw that day or a really great beetle he found. And Tallpaw would be fine with listening to him ramble about anything if it succeeded in distracting him even a little. Just for a moment. A moment was all he needed.

But the wind blew a scent towards Tallpaw that stopped him dead in his tracks. A short dark brown tabby stood some fox lengths ahead. Tallpaw had been so oblivious of his surroundings he hadn’t smelled Shrewpaw until he almost ran into him. He would have given his former friend a wide berth if he’d known. The bristling apprentice wasn’t supposed to be out here alone, but then, neither was Tallpaw. He had not so much as smelled Shrewpaw since Brackenwing died.

 Shrewpaw just glared at him through narrowed cold yellow eyes. That sharp hatred shot another claw of guilt into Tallpaw’s chest. For a moment, he wondered if he’d be attacked again, but Shrewpaw didn’t come closer.

“W-what are you doing out here?” Tallpaw didn’t know why he bothered asking, what Shrewpaw did was hardly his concern anymore.

Shrewpaw held his glare. “Don’t feel like being hounded by my mentor right now. Probably the same as you. Unless you’re just running away again for good this time?”

“No. No, I was just--”

“Looking for that kittypet?”

Tallpaw stared at him and anxiously wound his tail around his back feet. “What? H-how do you--”

“Briarpaw and I both saw you half a moon ago. What a shock to see you not doing what you were supposed to be doing and running off. You didn’t always get the kittypet stench off completely when you came back. Briarpaw didn’t want you to get in trouble, and I guess I liked you enough back then, so we didn’t say anything. Figured it didn’t matter if it wasn’t technically on the territory. Not that I care what happens to you.”

Tallpaw wasn’t in the mood for a fight. He turned to walk around him.

“That kittypet’s gone anyway, you know.” Shrewpaw called after him.

Tallpaw turned back. “What are you talking about?”

“It was the mouse-brained orange one, wasn’t it? I saw him poke his nose past the treeline. I was going to chase him off, because I don’t make friends with twoleg pets. But a monster stopped on the side of the road and a twoleg climbed out of its belly. The stupid kittypet went right up to it, and the twoleg picked him up and put him in the monster. Then it took off. So, sorry to say your kittypet probably got fed to the monster. That’s what you get for trusting twolegs.”

“You’re lying.” Tallpaw hissed.

“Why would I bother lying?” Shrewpaw spat. “I was half hoping you’d do us all a favor and go join him. There are less things to mess up being a twoleg play toy at least. It might suit you. Go run all the way to the barn if you want. He’s not there. Hareflight told me nearly all the cats born there disappear eventually. But by all means, go see for yourself. Get yourself into all the trouble you want. I’m not going to protect you anymore.”

“I never needed you to protect me!” Tallpaw hissed. He couldn’t help it. “You just decided that I should be treated like a kit because it made you look better in comparison! If you leave me alone from now on, it would be the best thing you’ve ever done for me!”

Tallpaw started to run without giving Shrewpaw a chance to respond. He kept going to the trees, but then turned in the direction of the Thunderpath. Shrewpaw had to be lying to upset him. He opened his jaws to taste the air as soon as he’d touched the shade of the woods. He caught Jake’s scent. It was recent. He followed it through the bushes, noting small clumps of long orange fur caught on sharp sticks and brambles. Dreadful certainty began to rest in his belly the closer Jake’s trail went to the Thunderpath. It always stunk of monsters, but behind the sharp acrid smell was unmistakably what he’d been taught to recognize as twoleg. And Jake’s trail ended. Tallpaw stood staring at the empty black stone path. Of course Shrewpaw hadn’t been lying. Why would he? He would be ecstatic if Tallpaw ran off to share Jake’s fate. Could a cat even survive being in the belly of those stinking monsters? He couldn’t even imagine it. Tallpaw wanted to wail in despair.

There was nothing here for him. He was alone. For a while he paced as the cloud cover overhead began to darken the sky. Small drops of rain dribbled through his thin coat, stinging the dried poultice covering his scars. He couldn’t be bothered to shake them off. He listened to the wind begin to howl as it carried in heavy clouds, imagining Sandstone’s growl in the distant rumble of thunder. Of course Tallpaw was trying to run away. He should never have come here. Should never have spoken to Jake. This is what he got for it.

Down the Swift Step Hills, Tallpaw found himself back at the muddy clearing where the collapsed burrows lay. He hardly even knew what he was doing anymore as the angry dark sky roared above and opened up a downpour on top of him, turning the soil to sucking mud. He was digging. Digging as fast as he could with no direction. 

Some part of him knew this was irrational, but the urge had taken control anyway, insisting that maybe maybe the others just hadn’t dug far enough, maybe there was a pocket in the earth, maybe Sandstone wasn’t even gone! Or at least if he could find him, find whatever was left, then his spirit could be free. Sandstone wouldn’t be trapped on the ground, wouldn’t have to wander unrested and angry. Tallpaw couldn’t get away from the image of his infuriated gaze.

“I’ll make it up to you, I’ll find some way to help,” he said under his breath, already panting from the effort. “Just tell me what to do, I’ll listen this time. I promise I’ll listen!”

His paws squelched into the earth, he was aimlessly tearing up the shallow ground and every pawful scooped out was immediately replaced with oozing mud. But then his claws hit something more solid that squished under his paws. His breath caught in his throat when he saw matted fur, and he thought for a hazy second he’d found what he was looking for, and he yanked it up without thinking as it gave way. Tallpaw shrieked so loud he hurt his throat at what he’d snagged in his claw. Under the mud was a misshapen furry face attached loosely to a small filthy rotted corpse, leftover from the abandoned warren. Probably a rabbit, but it was so decomposed it was almost hard to tell. Half of it left behind in the mud, the frail body tore with sickening ease. Its eyes were sunken in, indistinguishable from the dark muck, and earthworms crawled through its fur. Tallpaw flailed, shaking mud from his paw, hardly even aware he was still yowling until he heard Dawnstripe calling over him.

“Tallpaw!” Dawnstripe’s voice made his heart sink. She’d found him after all. “Tallpaw, you can’t be here! You must come back with me.”

Tallpaw finally looked down at himself. Standing in a pit of mud, soaking wet, dripping poultice, scared senseless out of his fur at the sight of old buried crow-food. He looked up at her pathetically, and he saw the depth of her concern. I wonder if she thinks I'm losing it, Tallpaw thought dimly. He wondered too. Could grief do that to a cat? He spent a long time staring at the muddied ground, while Dawnstripe tried to coax him out. She insisted they had to get back to camp, the coming storm would be bad and they needed to take shelter. Tallpaw would have preferred to just stand there through it. The prospect of going back to camp to sit with his thoughts and hide was awful. But, he thought, what does it matter how awful it feels?

What exactly happened if a cat was so weighed with grief they couldn't stand anymore? They broke. Maybe he’d broken. An image of his mother flashed through his mind. Her empty eyes, her distant voice, her frame thin and frail. How she couldn’t bear to get up most days. And with his paws sunk into the dirt, he heard his fathers disapproving snarl and flinched. You're going to become like her after all? Another promise broken. The water soaking in the mud let him see a faint dark smudgy outline of his reflection. Dripping and miserable. If he tried to go on like this, he might as well bury himself here and now. He wasn’t strong enough to detangle this grief. But...maybe he didn’t have to deal with it. If he couldn’t cure it, maybe he could just turn it all off and walk forward like this, a husk with claws. Claws were all that was needed for their borders, right? However broken he was, he could pick up the pieces in his jaws and make himself keep going anyway. A new resolve planted itself deep inside, one that would cover up everything else. Tallpaw looked up to his mentor again.

“Ok Dawnstripe,” he said. 

“O-ok?” she was taken aback by how calm he sounded.

“I’m coming. I’ll go back with you.”

He silently let Dawnstripe herd him out of the pit and followed her through the pouring rain. He sensed the discomfort in his mentor as her tail swished. Surely it was too easy… Well, Tallpaw would make it that easy. She was stuck with him, but he vowed not to trouble her for it anymore.

 Every paw step didn’t feel like his own. But as long as he was moving them, he didn’t need to feel better. That was what his father had been trying to teach him. It was ridiculous of him to be out there trying to placate his grief when such a thing was impossible and pointless. 

He would do his duties, like every cat else. He let the grief that wound tight around his chest like thorns get pounded down by the heavy rain, and focused on the new burning feeling in his belly. That’s what he would do. He would make himself dangerous. And then he’d know how to make up for his weakness before. Action, Sandstone had said. That’s all he would think of. That was how the dead were best respected. Tallpaw would just keep walking and doing as his mentor and his clan asked. Perhaps seeing that small bit of usefulness could help Sandstone find peace. And perhaps it is for the best, he thought, that I've lost so many cats all at once. I can’t make my problems into their problems. They don’t need to be troubled with me anymore. No one does.

chapter list / previous / next

[katzkinder]

Pomegranate Seeds, Give My Life To Thee

“This is so troublesome I could just die.”

“It’s not that big a deal. I’m immortal, after all.”

“Thanks, but I’d rather kill myself.”

Mahiru hates the way his Servamp talks.

There were a number of things Mahiru disliked about Kuro.

Getting oil on the controllers, leaving crumbs and empty chip bags behind, forgetting to take stuff out of his pockets before chucking his dirty laundry into the bin, not managing to make the dirty laundry get to the bin at all, and most annoying was certainly Kuro’s habit of snacking just before meal times.

But these were all small things. Minor things. Things that Kuro had, he had to admit, improved upon since they had begun living together. The sort of things you’d expect from someone who had essentially lived for who knows how long as a bachelor (he thinks? He’s still honestly not sure on just what kind of relationship Kuro and Gear had had in the past. Thinking too hard on it made his heart twist) and then however many decades as a homeless bum. And he was proud of him! Of course he was.

These were things he could overlook. Easily help Kuro improve on. Nag him into submission about, though the housewife and “yes mommy” jokes were getting stale. But there were some things, some habits, some phrases… He just couldn’t stand. And it ate at him.

“This is so troublesome I could just die.”  

“It’s not that big a deal. I’m immortal, after all.”  

“Thanks, but I’d rather kill myself.”  

“Who cares? I’m immortal.”

“I do.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself, and Kuro blinked up at him, lackadaisical in even his surprise at how… Firmly it had come out. The bag of chips, once full of empty calories and now empty itself thanks to the Servamp’s habitual snacking, crinkled noisily in the still air. The burgeoning argument over Kuro’s dietary habits had come to a halt before it even really started, yet somehow Mahiru felt as if it would have been better, simpler to just let it play out like usual.

Mahiru couldn’t find it in him to care. Not when all these bubbling, festering, unpleasant feelings were reaching a boiling point over such a tiny phrase.

He swallowed, Kuro’s eyes flicking down momentarily to track the motion in his throat, then back to his eyes, and Mahiru felt another pang, along with another stroke of anger that quickly cooled to simmering annoyance.

“You’re starving yourself again, aren’t you?”

Kuro broke their impromptu staring contest at the accusation, gaze drifting somewhere else, anywhere else in the tiny apartment living room as he literally turned his back on his Eve, returning to the safe, artificial light and colorful world of his handheld.

“I was literally just eating chips,” he mumbled, all the petulance of a child who knows they are guilty in his drawled words. He scooched the empty bag closer to himself, posture practically screaming that he wanted Mahiru to let it alone, let the sleeping lion lie.

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”

“... Why does it matter? It’s not like there’s any danger here. I’m fine. I’m-”

“Yes! I get it! You’re immortal! But... that’s not the problem!”

He was also not very fond of the way Kuro never wanted to address anything until things were nearly as a breaking point.

The heat in his chest was back, along with a bit of bitter satisfaction at the way his outburst had made Kuro turn to really look at him. But then his partner was standing, and the look on his face was so full of concern, gingerly taking the laundry basket from Mahiru’s hands and setting it aside so that they could stand face to face and Mahiru resisted the urge to bow his head in shame. The vampire caught his bottom lip between his teeth, worrying it in a way that worried Mahiru.

A gentle thumb just below it made Kuro freeze, sanguine eyes widening ever so slightly when Mahiru carefully pulled it free, voice uncharacteristically gentle for his scolding.

“Stop that. You’ll make yourself bleed.”

“... Sorry. Didn’t even realize I was doing it…”

“That seems to be a running theme with you.” Mahiru winced ever so slightly at the harsher than he’d meant wording, but Kuro didn’t seem to mind. Or, at the least, was too concerned with other matters to mind at the moment.

“Mahi…” Kuro’s voice had taken on that softer, more raspy quality that Mahiru recognized as sincerity, and coupled with the nickname, he couldn’t help but soften just a bit more himself. “I…” Another pause, Kuro moving to take his lip between his teeth again but managing to stop himself. His fingers twitched ever so slightly, and Mahiru reached for it, carefully interlocking their hands. “What is the problem, then? This… Isn’t just about the blood, is it?”

Biting down a snarky comment, Mahiru replied, “No, it’s not,” gripping the larger hand in his own more securely, knowing far too well that Kuro was liable to bolt. He’d been getting better about that, too, but his issues with taking blood were particularly touchy for him, he’d found. He hoped that, one day, the other would be able to be candid about it with him. To tell him the why and the how. Until then, though... It was better safe than sorry. “But if you keep it up I’ll start hiding it in your food like a cat who won’t take his pills.”     Kuro snorted, relief making his shoulders sag and stiff posture unwind. If Mahiru was joking, it wasn’t that serious. He hoped. “So? What gives. Talk to me. It’s not like you to just… Suddenly explode like that.”

It was Mahiru’s turn to look guilty, staring at their joined hands and Kuro’s pale, almost translucent skin. There was the faintest scar on the webbing of his thumb, and his nails were getting long again. He’d have to trim them for him soon. The vampire, he’d found, was prone to either chewing them down to the quick or clipping them too short. It was simpler to do it for him, and had become part of the routine of their lives. He didn’t mind it. Enjoyed it, even, if only for the excuse it gave him to hold Kuro’s hand, admire his long, elegant fingers and the difference between them and his own sun kissed ones smattered with freckles.

“Would you believe me if I said I don’t even know where to start?”

A finger at his chin, lifting his gaze back to Kuro’s, red, red eyes focused on him and so, so worried.

Why can’t you worry about yourself like that?  

“Keep it simple, then.”

Having his own life motto parroted back to him, he couldn’t help but crack a smile. Of course. Simple was best. And simply thinking… He just needed to say what he felt.

“Earlier, what you said…" he began, words slowly picking up steam as he found his voice again, found his thoughts again, "About how you don’t really care, because you’re immortal? It kinda... Pissed me off.”

A stunned look, Kuro once again blinking owlishly at him, no doubt thrown for a loop by the rare swear dropping from the Eve's lips. “O… kay? I won’t… Say it anymore?”

Still missing the point, huh?  

How did he ever end up with such a dumbass vampire?

Mahiru extricated his hand, instead cupping Kuro’s face, ensuring that the vampire of Sloth had no choice but to look him in the eye as he spoke. “Just because you’re immortal, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take care of yourself. In fact, when you don’t, it… It hurts! It hurts a lot. Because you’re important to me. Because I care about you. And I hate seeing you suffer.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh." The words were coming faster now, louder, more desperate, as if this were somehow his only chance to get them all out and he couldn't stop himself if he tried. Didn't want to, because holding it in was so much more painful. "And not just that, either! When you say things like you want to kill yourself, or that you want to die, or that it’s fine that you got hurt… I hate those too! I really, really, hate it...”

His voice cracked on the last word, embarrassingly so, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care at all, not when Kuro had a dawning look of realization, not when halting hands were reaching for him as the Servamp’s face twisted with contrite, not when he really, really wanted the hug that was being sort of half offered to him. He stepped forward, let Kuro embrace him, a shuddering breath leaving his lungs and all that awfulness he had been hoarding with it. He really... Wasn't okay at all, was he?

 “It scares me… And I’m sorry I got mad at you-”

 “I’m sorry, too. For not… Noticing that it bothered you so much.”

 “... I mean. I dunno if you’ve noticed, but I’m… Kind of really good at hiding when something is bugging me. To be honest…” He snuggled closer into Kuro’s chest, shut his eyes and breathed deep, that mixture of misty mornings and his body wash because of course Kuro was too lazy to pick out his own, all layered over the subtle metallic tang that seemed to cling to every vampire he met. It was soothing. It felt like home, and safety, the same but different as his uncle. Like everything would be okay, if only he just stayed right where he was. “I don’t think I even realized how badly it bothered me myself until just now…”

Kuro hummed, Mahiru feeling the vibrations under his ear and against his cheek. “That seems to be a running theme with you.”

“Ass.” A light thwack to his shoulder, Kuro releasing a little puff of amusement.

“My bad. Couldn’t resist. We’re both… Pretty similar, huh…?”

“I guess so. Who would have thought?”

A pat or two to his back and Kuro drew away, Mahiru reluctantly letting him go. “I’ll clean up my mess, and, um, once I’m done…” The human blinked, head tilting curiously when Kuro cleared his throat, scratched at his cheek. It could sorely use some color. “Maybe we can figure out an, uh… Feeding schedule? Or something?” He gave a helpless sort of half shrug, quickly dropping it when all he got in return was a blank stare. “Sorry, forget it, dumb idea, just thought it would, like, help or something. I dunno-”

 “No!” Kuro jumped at his shout, his anxious rambling cutting off and replaced instead with anxious finger fidgeting, clenching and unclenching his hands while Mahiru rapidly moved to reassure him. “No, feeding schedule is great! In fact, let me get a marker for the calendar and my phone while you do that.”

It was a small thing. A minor thing. Something that shouldn’t even be a problem to begin with. But it was a step towards getting Kuro to take proper care of himself. To value himself. Even if he was only suggesting it to comfort his Eve…

Mahiru tried and failed to hold down the amused little smile sprouting when he sighted the red at the tips of Kuro’s ears, quickly padding out the living room and leaving Kuro to his task, and the dirty laundry in its basket in the middle of the otherwise clear space.

No matter what the reason, it was a step in the right direction. For the both of them.

[barnesbabee]

Hidden || S.M

Summary: ‘Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back’

Pairing: Song Mingi x Reader

Words: Plenty I’d say

Genre: Smut

A/N: This is, by far, the filthiest smut I’ve ever written. It’s also my favourite. Enjoy! (There’s many kinks and harsh things described, if you’re not into that maybe this isn’t your cup of tea....)

@mangotexts​ was a babe for helping me with the beginning of the plot, love u <3

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :)))))

-  WARNING! There’s some very harsh/sensitive things described in detail -

  It wasn't supposed to be this way, it couldn't. Yet here you were, desperately scrolling down Craigslist in hopes someone was looking to share their flat.

 College started in two days, and you had had no luck finding somewhere to live. You were starting to lose hope, and the best options were either staying in a hotel until you found a place, which you definitely couldn't afford, or get a place far away from your campus, which would force you to wake up at ungodly hours of the morning and spend a bunch of money in transportation every day.

   Just as you were about to lose hope, your eyes landed on an ad with the title 'Flatmate needed'. Your eyes glanced over the description and requirements. Everything seemed fine, until you saw the profile of the ad owner: it was a man. You didn't know about moving in with an unknown man... It certainly wasn’t the ideal, but you had no other options.

  You sighed and messaged him nevertheless, saying you were interested.

  "Well if he kills me I won't have to pay for college anymore..."

  The flat owner was quick to reply to your message, and you soon arranged a meeting.

  Mingi and you became close very quickly. You were surprised (and lucky to be honest) to find such a heart-warming and kind man ready to welcome you into his flat.

  Your worries washed away in less than a week of living with him, and every day was a blast with Mingi. He had the most fun, brightest personality, and you honestly loved having him around.

  Everyone had a dark side, you knew it, you just thought that Mingi happened to be an exception, but oh were you about to be proven wrong.

  Mingi had left the house about ten minutes ago, and you were frantically looking for your phone's charger, that he had hidden as a punishment for ‘not replacing the empty toilet roll’, again.

  "Goddammit Mingi..." You cursed under your breath as you looked through every drawer and shelf in the house.

 After looking through the kitchen, living room, and even the bathroom there was only one place left: his bedroom.

 You didn't want to go in while he wasn't home because, well, privacy. But your phone was about to die and you had no idea where the fuck he had gone or how long he'd take. You opened the door and started looking through his drawers, through his desk and even under his covers, but nothing. The only place you hadn't checked was his wardrobe, but you highly doubted he'd just hang your charger along with his sweaters.

   You ignored the fact and opened it nevertheless, and immediately regretted it.

   You froze in place, your hands still placed on the white doors of the wardrobe, unable to move. Your eyes were glued to the various sex toys displayed before you. You shouldn’t have been there, you shouldn’t have seen it and yet you couldn’t look away...

  There was everything in the wardrobe: ropes, chains, gags, butt plugs, vibrators, you name it. Every kind of extravagant sex toys was in that closet of Mingi's.

 You couldn't move, and even when you heard footsteps coming closer and eventually stopping right behind you, you remained immobile.

 You felt a pair of large hands grab your waist, and a man breathing against your neck.

  "Do you like my collection?"

  Mingi's lust-filled voice seemed deeper than usual, and it sent shivers down your spine.

  You didn't speak, you just let your hands, that had been holding the wardrobe doors, fall beside your body. Mingi chuckled and pulled you back by the waist, making his semi-hard dick press against your ass.

  "Do you wanna try them on you Y/N, hm?"

 You didn't even know what you were doing, but the man's deep, seductive voice, his dick pressed against you and the view before your eyes... It made you horny and curious, and you found yourself slowly nodding to his question.

  He turned you around harshly and looked you in the eye.

  "I need you to tell me you want this, because when I start I won't be able to stop it." He asked you, as his hands caressed your curves.

  You were scared but excited at the same time. There was a mix of emotions flowing through your body, but the rush of the moment overcame it all and you gave into his touch.

   "I want this Mingi." You assured him.

  Although you tried to hide it, Mingi could still spot the nervousness in your voice.

  "It's okay princess, if you think I'm going too far tell me to stop, okay?"

   You nodded along to his statement, giving the man the green card to make you his.

  His hands roamed around your body and his lips attacked yours as if he'd be waiting for this all his life. His fingers played with the waistband of your sweatpants and pulled them down slowly, never breaking the kiss. Once they fell down to your feet you stepped out of them and kicked the piece of clothing somewhere else. Mingi's lips trailed down to your neck and exposed collar bone. He nibbled on your skin, biting down and sucking harshly on the most sensitive spots.

  Your hands, previously resting on his biceps, traveled up to his hair. You tugged on it and threw your head back, giving him all the access he wished for.

   Mingi's hands went up your body and into your shirt, cupping your exposed breasts in the process. It was Saturday, you weren't planning on leaving the house and as per usual you didn't wear a bra on a lazy day. Generally, not having a bra would be a plus, even a turn on sometimes, but Mingi got off on seeing underwear, and slowly peeling it off, so the absence of it annoyed him. He pulled away from the kiss and removed your t-shirt.

   He stepped away from your body and analyzed you head to toe.

   "No bra, hm? Such a slut... I'll have to punish you for that."

   "But I never wear-"

    He wrapped his fingers around your throat and squeezed it.

    "Do not speak when you're not asked to."

    You nodded at his words. God you looked so innocent under his touch... You looked so, so appetizing to him. He didn't retrieve his hand, he just cocked his head to the side and looked at you for a second, imagining all the ways he could break you.

   Eventually he removed his hand and looked over to the bed, motioning you to get on it. You quickly complied and sat on his bed, anxious yet excited for what was about to come. You saw him fumble around in one of the drawers of the wardrobe but you couldn't tell what he was looking for, until he turned around.

   In his hands, Mingi held a blindfold and two ropes. Your eyes shot up at him with a questioning look. He smiled mischievously and knelt on the bed.

   Mingi grabbed your right wrist and wrapped one of the ropes around it, then proceeding to tie it to the bedpost. He moved onto the left wrist and did the same.

   You looked at him with worried eyes. Upon noticing this, Mingi kissed your left cheek lightly.

   "Don't worry princess, I'm gonna make you feel so good." He told you, and then blindfolded you.

    You heard him get off the bed and fumble with something, which you assumed were his clothes that he was stripping from.

     His cold hands ran up and down your body. His index finger hooked around the waistband of your panties and he pulled them, just to let them go afterward, causing the elastic to slap against your waist.

   You winced a little and he slapped your ass.

   "You can make noise only when I tell you to, got it?"

   You bit your lip and nodded. Every time his hands left your body you wondered what he would do next, and the blindfold, preventing you from even trying to guess what he was about to do, made your original excitement double.

   Mingi's fingers ran up and down your womanhood from the outside of your panties. You spread your legs wider for him as he felt the wet spot in your underwear get bigger and bigger. The man eventually pushed your panties to the side, never removing them, so your core was exposed to him.

   He appreciated it for a second before licking a strip along it. His tongue licked your pussy up and down and swirled around your clit, before entering you.

   Upon feeling his tongue fucking you and his thumb apply pressure on your clit, you bit down on your lip and grabbed the ropes attached to your wrists.

   You tried your best to keep quiet, and you were succeeding. Mingi didn't like that, so he replaced his tongue with two fingers and you immediately let a loud moan escape your lips.

   "Tch... You can't keep quiet for me, can you? Well maybe I should punish you the way you deserve."

   Mingi pulled your soaked panties off of you and reached for something in his nightstand.

   "Open up." He demanded and you opened your mouth.

   He quickly shoved a metal object in it, and you swirled your tongue around it before he removed it. He did nothing for a second, but you then felt the saliva-covered object push into your ass. A butt plug.

   You kicked the mattress under you as he entered the full thing. He slapped your inner thigh harshly.

   "Behave. Or else I won't let you come today." He threatened, and you shivered at his dominant tone.

   You could only nod at him. He told you to open your mouth once more and you complied. He shoved a gag in your mouth and tied it around your head.

    "Since my little slut can't keep quiet I'll just have to shush her myself," he grabbed the sides of your face violently "right?"

    You nodded once more, since it was all you could do. Once Mingi let go of your face he looked at you once more and chuckled.

    So little, so pretty, so innocent... All spread out just for him. Yearning for his touch. Mingi wanted to break you in so many ways. He jerked himself at the sight for a second, he wanted to fuck you so bad... But he didn't want the fun to be over just yet. He still needed to hear you beg, gagged and restrained like that.

   Mingi grabbed the vibrator he had put in the nightstand and turned it on. Just by the sound you knew what awaited you and you shivered.

   The man teased you by playing with it around your clit first. Your jaw began to hurt, from biting down on the gag ball so hard. He then inserted it in you slowly, and pushed it out just as slowly. You lifted your hips and bucked them up, trying to get as much contact with the vibrator as possible. The action made you earn a harsh slap to your ass.

   "You greedy girl..." He teased.

   He sped up his hand movements with the vibrator and increased the strength he did it with. Your breaths became heavy, your chest raised and fell quickly,  your legs started shaking and your abdomen was flexed as you forced your orgasm to hold back. Mingi noticed it and decided to torture you a little more. His thumb played with your clit and you started tugging on the ropes around your wrists, trying your best to distract yourself.

   "Come for me princess, come on."

   Once he allowed you, you released all of the tension built up and let your orgasm flow. What you didn't expect, however, were the strings of fluid being expelled from you, as your legs shook. It had never happened to you before, but you could tell you had just squirted all over Mingi.

   "Oh my God..." He growled.

   He pulled the blindfold off of your eyes and threw it somewhere, discarding the gag just as quickly. Your eyes were watery and there was drool all over your lips and cheeks.

   "You are so getting rewarded for that princess."

   His lips latched onto yours as he violently made out with you. He bit and sucked on your lower lip while one of his hands pinched and tugged on your left nipple. He kissed down your body until his lips were sucking on your right nipple.

   When he pulled away, he stood on his knees and looked down at you, appreciating the view once more. You looked so fucked out, he loved it. The teary eyes, the plump red lips, the marks of the gag on your cheeks, his bites showing up on your neck, and your red inner thighs that had the marks of his hands... God he could do this all week long.

    He flicked his tip over your clit a couple times.

    "Beg for me princess. I wanna hear how bad you want me."

    "Please Mingi, please fuck me! I've been waiting for so long and I behaved, please put your cock in me!" You begged, with your best innocent face.

    Mingi rammed into you with no mercy. He grabbed your hips for stability and pushed in and out of you violently.

    This man's stamina had no end.

    You were a moaning mess under his touch and you loved it.

    "That's right princess, moan for me. You look so pretty with my cock in you."

    You let out a whimper as one of his hands moved out of your hips to play with the butt plug.

    With his dirty praises, teases, and groans you clenched around him and came for the second time. Your whole body was trembling from the slight overstimulation, your mouth was open, and your were eyes closed in pleasure.

     Mingi pulled out of you and skillfully undid the ropes around your wrists. He got out of the bed and pointed at the floor beside him.

     "Kneel." He demanded.

    You quickly got on your knees for him and opened your mouth obediently, knowing exactly what he wanted.

    He grabbed your hair into a ponytail and brought your mouth to his dick. You wrapped your lips around the tip and swirled your tongue around it. You then wrapped one of your hands around his length as you took as much of him as you could, while the other one rested on his thigh.

   Mingi's hand, that was gripping your hair, pushed your face down on his cock, forcing you to take him all him. You gagged as he repeated this a couple of times.

   Finally, he removed his cock from you when he felt his orgasm coming and started jerking himself off.

    "Come all over me, Mingi, please..." You begged breathlessly, looking up at him innocently while you stuck out your tongue.

   The look on your face made it impossible not to come, and so he did. Mingi came all over your face, with a loud groan and a praise on how good you looked.

    He sat down on the bed, trying to catch his breath. You were both sweaty and panting. His hair was stuck to his forehead and a bead of sweat could be seen rolling down the side of his cheek.

   "Was I too rough?" He asked.

   "Nope." You replied wearing a smile, with his cum dripping down your chin.

   God, you were precious.

[drabbles-of-writing]

Meet Me in the Void (pt 3)

This is part of my Fallen AU Part 1, Part 2

AO3

Masterpost

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Purple either has to be remarkably stubborn or ridiculously inhuman, because Luz is pretty sure any regular human, or even witch, would’ve collapsed from blood loss at this point.

She decides it's probably a bit of both.

Purple had insisted on moving as soon as their injuries were bandaged up. Luz protested, but clearly, when Purple had an idea in their head, they couldn’t quit. Because despite that, Purple still got up and limped their way through the trench. Luz couldn’t do much but follow. Or, really, lead.

Every few minutes Luz would stop and turn around, seeing that Purple had fallen back a bit and was struggling to keep up. And Luz found Purple was...a lot less intimidating. Obviously, because of the whole injured thing, but they had taken off their cloak and wrapped it around their side, leaving them just in black. They seemed far skinnier than Luz imagined, like they hadn’t eaten in weeks. Who knows, maybe those animals who made themselves look bigger had the right idea on intimidation.

But back to the topic at hand.

Luz would insist on slowing down whenever Purple seemed to take an extra minute to catch up, but at this point, they’d stopped responding. Luz figured they were just tuning her out.

So, clearly that wasn’t going to work. But what else was Luz supposed to do? Walk in awkward silence for hours on end? She’d rather try to climb the trench with her bare hands. 

And for the dozenth time in half an hour (she thinks, time is weird when you're underground and lost in a ravine), Luz was leaning against the wall of the pit, arms crossed as she waited for Purple to limp their way over.

“So,” She started. Upon no reaction from Purple as they continued limping by, she took it as a go-ahead. “Do you have a name?”

Purple finally looked up at her (progress!), giving her a tired look. They then went right back to limping, now beginning to pass Luz.

“...okay, no name then.” Luz said, pushing off the wall and deciding to walk slowly alongside them. “Is it cool if I call you Purple, then? Cause that’s kind of what I’ve been doing lately.”

Purple blinked, or at least gave the impression of it, and looked over at Luz incredulously. 

“So I’m not original, sue me.” Luz mumbled, shoving her hands into her pockets. “You got a preference for something else?”

Purple grumbled a few throaty clicking sounds, turning their head back to paying attention to what was in front of them.

“Well, I can’t pronounce that, so I think Purple will have to suffice.” Luz said simply.

She could’ve sworn the light chuffing sound Purple made was almost a laugh.

The silence started up again, and Luz reached for anything to talk about. Or, ask, really. It was a little hard to keep up a conversation with someone who couldn’t talk, but she could make this work.

“I’ve also just been calling you a they,” Luz started, waving her hand around. “Is that alright, too?”

Purple glanced over at her again, and Luz got the feeling they very much didn’t want to entertain her questions or pestering. To their credit, they weren’t outright ignoring Luz anymore.

“Do you go by he?” Luz guessed, kicking at the small pebbles beneath her feet in some attempt to not have to focus solely on the conversation. “She?”

Purple raised a claw, chirping as they pointed at Luz and nodded. Praise them for using gestures that Luz could understand.

“You're a she?” Luz guessed. Purple nodded calmly, going right back to dragging herself over the stones.

Luz resisted the urge to pump a fist in the air. She was getting somewhere! Purple seemed to not have an aversion to yes or no questions, probably because they were easy to answer, so if she just kept asking those, she could maybe not get murdered after all this.

Or at least be entertained for a while.

“Uh, lets see,” Luz thought aloud, searching for questions. “Well, since we’re down here, did you see where anyone else fell off?”

Purple shook her head, not bothering to look over at Luz this time.

“Not even the other two Chasers?” Luz inquired. “Actually, do they have names, too? I never managed to get any for them. We kind of just identify those two as ‘the one with darts’ and ‘the one with the rivet.’” 

Purple snorted, raising a brow as she looked to her side, where her needle was resting on her belt. She pointed to the needle, then to her, with a faint amused air to her.

“What, you think we should’ve called you Needle?” Luz huffed. “That...huh,” She paused. “That actually might’ve been more creative than Purple.”

Purple snickered, Luz was sure of it this time, their body shaking slightly with a laugh. Luz will admit, she felt quite proud of her feat. For a solid five seconds.

The movement made Purple wince, and she hunched her shoulders as she stopped in her tracks, hissing.

“Crap, are you alright?” Luz fretted, stepping closer. “I told you, we really should rest, that wound could--” 

Her hand brushed Purple’s shoulder, and it was like a switch was flipped.

Purple snarled, a feral, guttural noise Luz would be terrified to hear at night. And was more than a little scary to hear in the moment.

Purple jerked away from Luz, claws unsheathing as she stumbled right towards the edge.

Luz was somehow thinking clearly enough to sharply back away instead of reaching out, fearing the Chaser would fall right off into the Void.

And, thankfully, Purple didn’t take a step too far. The edge of her heel went over the edge for barely a moment, pebbles clicking and falling silently in the blackness beneath them. It was enough for Purple to look back and retract her foot.

Once again, the Void almost seemed to reach for her, like a hundred hands towards a raft in the middle of a sea. Though none were close enough to be anywhere near actually grabbing her.

Luz swallowed and Purple stepped away from the ledge, shaking herself and tightening her hold around her wounded side.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t--”

Purple growled, glancing at Luz before straightening up somewhat, though it was clear doing so completely would be too painful. With a gruff and a sharp turn of her head, she went right on walking (poorly so). At a much brisker pace this time.

Luz, who personally didn’t want to see how else Purple would react if further prodded, resigned to keeping her mouth shut and shuffling after her.

Well, at least she had made some progress.

,

The next pits of walking were far more silent than earlier. Luz wasn’t even rambling or saying something brief to break the anxious silence like before. She didn’t even bother walking ahead of Purple, even though her regular pace was still faster than hers. Being in Purple’s line of sight and having to wait for her seemed like a death sentence at this point.

Purple either knew Luz was doing this on purpose or didn’t care, because she hadn’t looked back once. Only hobbling along and growling quietly if she stumbled, to which Luz had to bite her tongue and let happen.

It continued like that for what seemed like an eternity, though now that Luz thought back, it was probably about fifteen minutes or so. And Luz had been so wrapped up in feeling awful for startling Purple that she hadn’t noticed said Chaser had stopped moving.

It was a miracle Luz managed to realize it in time before walking right into her, giving a small squeak as she jumped back.

Purple glanced back, for the first time, with nothing short of an annoyed glare.

“Uh, sorry,” Luz mumbled with a shy smile. “What’s the hold...up…”

Luz trailed off as she peered around the assassin. There, in front of them both, was nothing but a gaping hole straight into the Void.

The large jut of rock they had been walking across had ended, leaving a sizable gap before them. There was another ledge a few feet in front of them, though it was also well above the height of their current standing. Not an impossible jump, but Luz was a little antsy about someone as banged up as Purple trying to traverse it.

Purple paced, limping to the side as she looked between their ledge and the one above and across from them. Her eyes were narrowed, and she made a lot of odd steps as she tried to figure out how to make the leap.

Luz, meanwhile, was pretty sure she could make it in one bounce.

Easily? No, but she was fairly certain she’d made worse before. And Purple was definitely going to have some trouble getting over that.

So Luz took a few steps back, sizing up the gap between the two ledges. This would be a lot easier with her sword, but it would have to do.

Purple chirped quietly as she looked between the distance. Her hand went to her needle right as Luz crouched down, bunching up her legs.

Now, were anyone else here, they probably would’ve caught on right away to Luz’s (heart-attack inducing) plan. But fortunately for her, none of her friends were here right now. And Purple had yet to get used to how impulsive Luz’s plans could be.

So when Purple turned around, she had no time to prepare or stop Luz as she took off straight towards the gap between the ledges.

Purple’s eyes widened and a sound similar to a cat’s wail and yelp came from her as Luz leapt off at the very end of the rock, completely untethered in the air for a few seconds. Right before she slammed, rather harshly, into the other jut of stone.

“Woo!” Luz cheered, despite the fact that only her hands had a good grip, and half her body was dangling precariously over the Void.

Purple was now rapidly pacing across the rock she was still on, sounding like a strained, slightly less painful chalkboard. Luz paid no heed, instead moving her feet around to try and get a good grip on the rocks to hoist herself up.

“Don’t worry, I got it!” Luz called (rather optimistically) behind her.

Purple’s distressed calls didn’t cease, neither did her lopsided pacing. It took a few more agonizing moments before Luz had managed to get her foot caught on a nook in the rocks and heave herself up, rolling over onto her back once she did so.

“I’m okay!” She assured, not even bothering to lift her head as she caught her breath, calming from her adrenaline rush.

Then, and only then, did Purple finally stop. Luz sat up then, looking down and seeing a thoroughly pissed off witch (if Purple counted as one) glaring up at her.

“Oh, so you can walk for hours on end while bleeding out, but when I jump a gap, suddenly it's an issue?” Luz demanded.

Many loud, chittering squawks came from Purple as she began waving her hands around and gesturing to Luz, her irked tone not lost on the human in the slightest. She still held the needle, and Luz was rather grateful she wasn’t within stabbing distance.

“Yeah, yeah, should’ve warned you,” Luz mumbled, crawling to the edge of the ledge. “But look on the bright side! Now I can help you cross over. So I’d say it was worth it.”

Luz swears she saw Purple’s eye twitch.

And then, immediately after, Purple raised the needle in her hand and stepped back. Luz knew that stance well enough and quickly backed away.

In a mostly fluid movement, she threw the needle like a spear almost towards the exact spot Luz had been sitting. It embedded into the stone right below where Luz had been, albeit not very deep. Either Purple’s aim was failing, or the rocks were very tough down here.

“Is that a good ide--”

Luz was cut off by Purple giving her a dirty look, and Luz slowly shut her mouth. Right, not her place to bring up how bad an idea is.

Purple tugged on the string connecting her belt to her needle, experimentally testing it out. Luz, fairly certain that needle would hold about as well as the first time Purple tried that stunt, made sure to grab the other end of it with her hands. A safety-line of sorts.

Purple seemed exasperated but didn’t argue. Instead, she crouched at the edge and bunched her legs up like a cat underneath her. One wrist had the string loosely wrapped around it, her hands free to become clawed and grip the stone underneath her.

With far more grace than Luz, Purple sprung.

Granted, it was as much grace as someone bleeding from two injuries could muster.

Purple hit the rock, a little lighter, and instantly dug her claws in and gave a hiss, coiling in on herself. Luz winced, that had to hurt.

Purple was quick to begin pulling herself up, and Luz began to offer her hand for a moment before deciding better of it and scooting to the side. She gave the Chaser room as she kept her hands tightly around the safety needle.

The assassin flopped onto her front when she climbed up, her feet hanging off the edge as she deflated with a groan. Luz, who felt assured Purple wouldn’t roll off to her demise, wiggled the needle for a few moments until it popped loose. She set it down before looking back to Purple, crawling closer until she was peering over the bug.

One of Purple’s eyes opened, landing on Luz. Her ragged breathing slowed then as she growled and pushed herself onto her knees. Luz didn’t move back, instead gazing over Purple’s side and noting that the cloak had gotten dirty once more.

“You should probably change that up again.” Luz mentioned, a lot more casual than one should probably be when next to an upset assassin.

Purple grumbled, flicking her wrist that was still wrapped up in the string. It quickly brought the needle closer to her, and in one movement, Purple had grabbed the needle and raised it to Luz’s face.

Luz instinctively stiffened, the point of the needle pressed right on the bridge of her nose. Luz crossed her eyes to look at the point.

“So,” Luz said with a click of her tongue. “I take it...you're still mad at me?” She guessed sheepishly, her eyes uncrossing for a moment to look towards Purple, who seemed like she was debating if she was too tired to be bothered.

Instead, Purple sighed and pushed at the needle, causing Luz to lean and then stumble back so as to avoid getting a new injury on her face.

Which ended up not working when Purple gave one last tiny push and pierced the skin between Luz’s eyes.

“Ow!” Luz yelped, jerking away and pressed a hand to the wound. Purple snickered and sat back, strapping the needle to her belt.

It wasn’t bleeding very much, barely anything really, but Luz was still miffed. Purple didn’t seem to care and rolled to her feet, muttering as she shuffled towards the stone wall.

Luz blinked, watching her from where she sat as Purple flopped against the wall, already messing with her cloak wrapped around her injury so she could press slightly-cleaner cloth against it.

“A...are we resting now?” Luz asked incredulously.

Purple raised a brow, looking around and gesturing with a hand as though the answer were obvious and not at all a legitimate question in these circumstances.

“Seriously?” Luz groaned. “I ask you to break for hours, and all I have to do to get you to take a break is to be quiet for fifteen minutes? Or was it the reckless behavior that made you decide it's time to have a break?”

Purple puffed with a shrug, and Luz had a sneaking suspicion she was grinning under that mask. If there was anything under the mask. Maybe it was just void, that’d be cool.

The assassin then gestured with her claws to a spot a couple feet from her, even snapping her claws in emphasis. Luz, who was in a mix of being excited that Purple didn’t appear to want her gutted and very mildly annoyed, decided it was alright to talk more.

“What, think I’m going to dive off headfirst for fun?” Luz grumbled, though she did get up and walk to the spot Purple wanted her to sit in.

Purple nodded calmly, to which Luz gave an offended gasp. 

“I’ll have you know that I have some impulse control,” Luz scoffed with mock-annoyance. “And I am honestly appalled that you’d think otherwise.”

Purple looked at her strangely then, her head tilting like she was looking between Luz and whatever else was around them. As though she were confused at Luz’s dramatized outrage.

“I…” Luz hesitated, but decided she’d already made enough bad decisions that she could risk looking like a further idiot by guessing incorrectly. “You know I was joking, right?”

Purple’s brows raised at that (mimicking doing so, really), humming in realization. She looked far more assured before nodding and going back to re-tying her cloak around her side.

So, Purple had a little trouble with sarcasm at times. Good to know.

Luz took the moment of calmness to look up the chasm. She could see faded lights from nearby towns shining just over the trench. Luz had no idea what time it was now, the Boiling Isles didn’t really have a sense of night and day, but she could figure that now was generally when most people were asleep. Though knowing Eda, she’d be wide awake right now. She’d always insisted the ‘normal time’ for everyone else was stupid.

“Do you think we’ll find the others?” Luz wondered aloud, turning her head slightly to the Chaser. “I’d say I’m pretty alright at finding wherever my friends run off to, but that’s usually because Eda leaves a wake of destruction in her path. You gotta be good with tracking to find us all the time, right?”

Purple didn’t respond, as per usual. But she did glance up to Luz, her claws twitching. Her shoulders seemed to raise, becoming stiffer as she looked out at the canyon they were in. She didn’t look at Luz as she shrugged and leaned back against the wall, one hand laying across her wounded leg and pressing at it.

“Do you need new bandages for your leg?” Luz asked, perking up and leaning just a bit closer. “I can help with--”

Luz cut herself off when Purple shrank away from her getting closer. There was still at least a two foot distance between them, and yet Purple coiled right back in on herself.

“Right,” Luz mumbled, moving back to her previous position.

And that was that, she supposed. 

Luz drew her knees close to her chest, noting that Purple had turned her back to her and was likely attempting to sleep. Or at least get some rest.

Luz figured she should probably try to rest, too. She had a lot more walking ahead of her. So she stretched her legs out, using her hands as a pillow on the very uncomfortable ground.

“Night, guys.” She whispered to no one in particular. Nobody around right now, at least.

Silence answered her.

[nerdypanda3126]

Congrats on the 100 followers! I found one of your oneshots and I love it! You have one new follower!! For the asks 18: “Do you even care?” for marichat or lovesquare reveal? ���👉👈

Thank you so so much for the compliment and the follow! This prompt pushed some angst buttons for me, but there’s still a happy ending (beginning?) in there. Hope you like it, shannia! 😊

Roses and Revelations

Read on Ao3

“Come on, M, just admit it! You’re totally dating Chat Noir!” Alya shoved her phone in Marinette’s face where the rather incriminating picture stared back at her. A picture of Marinette waving goodbye to Chat as he prepared to vault away from her balcony.

“He’s my friend,” she said defensively. “He comes over sometimes, that’s all.”

“Uh huh. Sure. Do you see this face he’s making?” Alya zoomed into the picture and focused on Chat’s face.

Marinette blushed when she realized that, yes, he was making a face at her. His eyes were trained entirely on her like she was all he could see. She’d like to say it was fondness and leave it at that, but with the picture zoomed in like that she could tell there was more than a pink tinge under his mask. And the way he was leaning towards her even as he was saying goodbye…

She glanced back up and Alya was watching her, grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

“We’re just friends,” Marinette insisted.  

Alya pushed her glasses back up on her nose and looked at Marinette over the rims, although she didn't say anything else. She didn't have to; she'd made her point and that got Marinette thinking.

So when Chat Noir poked his head in her skylight that night and started jabbering about movies they could watch and a UMSIII rematch, Marinette was still thinking about Alya's words and the pictures she'd stolen. Marinette was still thinking about the prudence of his visits, and their frequency. And Marinette was hoping that she wouldn't have to reject him on both sides of her mask.

"Chat?" she started, nervously wringing her fingers around each other, "um… can I… can I talk to you? For a second?"

He dropped to a crouch in front of her and tilted his head to the side, signalling he was listening. Marinette took a deep breath.

"I don't know if it's a good idea for you to come here any… anymore…" She bit her lip and barely managed to meet his bright green eyes before she dropped her gaze back down to her shoes. "Um… people are starting to notice—well, Alya noticed, anyways—and it's only a matter of time before… well, not that she would tell anyone, or at least I hope she wouldn't—"

Especially not a certain blond boy in their class, she thought. What a disaster that would be. Or even if she didn’t tell, Hawkmoth could get to anyone at any time. She shuddered even as she thought it. Either way. An ounce of prevention couldn’t hurt.

"I don’t know, maybe it’s better if you... stay away? For a while?"

As she trailed off, she dared another glance at him. His tail was flicking across the floor behind him as he considered, and his eyebrows were slowly knitting together under his mask.

“I understand, Marinette,” he said finally. “I wouldn’t ever want to put you in danger. I won’t come here anymore, I promise.” He gave her a small, sad smile, then made his way back up her ladder and out the trap door.

Marinette chewed her lip and shared an anxious glance with Tikki before she followed him. Not to bring him back—even if she’d thought that was a good idea, he was already gone by the time she got up to the balcony. Mostly because that smile had unsettled her. There had been a twinge of something hiding behind it, but he’d hid it so quickly that she couldn’t figure out why she felt so guilty.

She stood at her railing, looking off into the night, until the chill in the air started to seep into her skin and made her shiver. When she turned to go back inside, she found the answer she'd been looking for. A bouquet of pink roses, set off to the side of her skylight, still in its crinkly clear plastic sleeve, with a small note attached. He’d meant to surprise her with them when she saw him out, she was sure.

Her hands trembled as she crouched to pull the bouquet close to her and it took her three fumbling tries to unfold the little tag. She had to blink the tears out of her eyes before she could read his surprisingly neat handwriting.

‘I'm glad I got to know you,' signed in the corner with a paw print.

She sniffed and wiped away the hot tears that were starting to streak down her cheeks. She was an awful friend and she’d never be able to make this up to him.

“Tikki?” she called, before she realized that the kwami of creation was already there, resting a tiny, concerned paw on Marinette’s thumb. “Did I do the right thing?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“You did what you thought was best,” Tikki said carefully. The words tore at Marinette’s heart.

“No, I didn’t,” she croaked. “I did what I thought Ladybug would think was best. Chat needed…” she had to pause and wipe her face again before she thumped backwards to sit down instead of crouch. “Chat needed a friend. Someone to talk to, somewhere to go, and I…”

Her words failed her as she cradled the bouquet close to her chest. “I’ll make it up to him,” she said, more to herself than to Tikki. “Somehow, I’ll make it up to him.”

***

True to his word, Chat didn’t come back to Marinette’s balcony, but Marinette had a plan. Chat needed a friend, and he’d found one in Marinette, which wasn’t to say he couldn’t also be friends with Ladybug, right? All she had to do was let him know that behind her mask, she was his friend, and she was listening. So she tried to talk to him more after patrol, tried to linger with him on the rooftops, but he always kept things light, and she had no way to ask him about what had happened, because Ladybug wasn’t supposed to know there was anything wrong.  

But there started to be reports of Chat Noir being seen more and more running over the rooftops. It didn’t seem to be for patrol, he was just… out. Almost every night. Just running.

And almost every night he stopped at the rooftop across from Notre Dame. The same one he’d whisked her away to on the first night he came to her balcony. The one he’d filled with flowers and candles for Ladybug. After two straight weeks of watching him stop there, watching him pause as the sunset sank over the towers, Marinette decided it was time to talk to him.

She went to the rooftop early to set everything up. It took her ages to drag her gaming setup from her room to his rooftop, and she tried not to think about how much longer it would’ve taken had she not been suited up. By the time the sun was barely starting to slip over the horizon, she was ready. And, right on cue, his boots tapped against the roof.

“Ladybug? What…”

She turned to him, grinning, and made a “ta-da” gesture to show off her hard work. She’d grabbed pillows and blankets and made a gaming nest, complete with the fairy lights from her balcony strung along the railings for a bright, cheery atmosphere. Chat’s eyebrows furrowed as he started frowning, which wasn’t the reaction she expected.

“I thought maybe we could… hang out a bit?” she started hesitantly, “I know you like UMSIII, or at least you said once that you did, and I do, too, so I brought this up here and…” She stopped at the scowl that was starting to take over his face. “What?”

“What are you doing?”

His dark tone took her entirely by surprise. Her enthusiasm for her plan wilted.

“I… thought…”

“I don’t need your sympathy, Ladybug, or your pity.”

“Chat, I don’t even know what’s wrong! Come on, please, just… let’s sit down and play a round and you can tell me about it, I just want to make sure…”

“What, that I’m not akumatized?”

She gaped at him. He’d been hostile before, but this was… different. Cold. Detached. She shivered as a memory of blank blue eyes behind a white mask tugged at her heart.

“Yes, Chat. I don’t know what’s wrong, but—”

“You never bothered to ask.”

“What?”

He sat glumly on one of the pillows she’d brought over and flicked at the controller in front of him. “You never asked. You just…” He gestured in front of him to her attempt to draw him into conversation. “You did what you do best. You tried to fix it.” He slumped his cheek into his hand and looked away, off in what Ladybug knew to be the direction of Marinette’s balcony. “It’s not the same.”

“You can talk to me about anything, Chat, I hope you know that.” She sat next to him and laid her hand on his arm. He didn’t pull away, but he also didn’t respond.

“Not everything. Not like I could with…” he glanced sideways at her as he trailed off and blew out a breath. “I lost a friend. Well, not lost, she’s fine, but I can’t…well, I mean, I could, without the mask, but—” He let out a little huff of breath and finally turned his face to her. His eyebrows were knitted together again. “Do you see what I mean? I have to focus on what to hide from you, what to reveal, what I can talk about, what I can’t. With her it was…different. Easier.”

He slumped to rest his chin in his hand. “I didn’t have to be Chat Noir, not really, I could be…” He shook his head as he twirled the joystick on the controller in front of him, fidgeting as an excuse not to look at her. “But it doesn’t matter. She asked me not to go there anymore, and I won’t. Because she was right. Going to see her puts her in Hawkmoth’s sights and if she was ever hurt because of me, I… I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Then it’s probably for the best,” Ladybug said, but her heart wasn’t in the words. They were the same ones Tikki had said to her to try to comfort her, and they still rang hollow in her ears.

Maybe he was right. Maybe she was different as Marinette and she’d just never noticed. Because Marinette would've told him that he was always welcome, that he shouldn’t worry about endangering her because she could handle herself. He would’ve laughed at that, probably goaded her into UMSIII trash talk, and they would’ve forgotten about it.

Except that’s not what Marinette did. Marinette gave in to the passing fear that Adrien might find out about Chat and used Hawkmoth as a rationalization and that’s what got her into this mess with him in the first place.

When she pulled herself out of her thoughts, Chat was staring at her, and he had pulled his arm out from under her fingertips. She reached out to him again and he recoiled, scrambling up to his feet and away from her, his eyes fiery and his jaw set. All she could do was look up at him, confused, worried, waiting for him to speak.

“That’s all you have to say? That’s it, really?” His voice was strangled from the emotion he was barely holding back. He turned around and his hands came up to tug at his wild mane before he spun back to her. “She was my home, do you get that? Do you—” his voice cracked and he took a sharp breath in—“Do you even care?”

“Chat… I…”

“Forget it. Forget I said anything about it.” He clenched his teeth and turned around again, leaning against the railing to hang his head. Ladybug’s heart broke into pieces when his breathing became ragged with contained sobs.

As quietly as she could, she stood and walked up behind him to wrap her arms loosely around his waist, pressing her cheek to his back between his shoulder blades. At first he didn’t respond, but slowly he relaxed into her touch and his shaking started to quiet.

“I’m so sorry, Chat,” she whispered into his back. “I never meant to hurt you.”

He shook his head and reached up to lay one of his hands over hers on his stomach. “It’s not your fault,” he said quietly. “I shouldn’t have been angry with you. I’m not angry with her either, I just…” he lifted his head to look out at her balcony again. “I miss her.”

“I’m sure she misses you, too,” Ladybug said, the truth of her words causing a lump to form in her throat. “I’m sure it killed her, telling you to stay away.”

She felt him tense against her and he stood straight up, suddenly alert. “Her balcony’s dark,” he muttered, more to himself than to her. “It’s never dark.”

Before she could say anything else, he had reached back for his baton and was helicoptering down, vaulting back up at the last second, making his way towards Marinette’s balcony. She cursed under her breath and started after him.

***

When she caught up to him, he was perched on his baton outside the bakery, examining her balcony with what she assumed was his night vision. She hung from her yoyo and hissed at him.

“Chat, what in the world—”

He shushed her harshly, then tipped his baton forward until he caught himself on her railing. He stashed his baton before he pulled himself up, and she watched in horror as he tapped on the skylight. Her stomach twisted when he tried the latch and found it open. She hadn’t thought of this. She hadn’t thought he’d be worried, she hadn’t thought he’d want to check on her, she hadn’t thought—

With a grunt, she zipped her way over right as Chat climbed back out.

“She’s not here.” His voice was almost hoarse with how tense it was. “She should be here. Why isn’t she here?” He started pacing across the small space, his tail flicking behind him frantically. Ladybug was frozen. She couldn’t tell him Marinette was fine, because how would Ladybug know? She couldn’t tell him she’d taken Marinette’s lights because… well, she could tell him, but he was already upset and admitting to stealing from his friend probably wasn’t helpful.

Suddenly, Chat stopped, and looked back over to the rooftop they’d just left, where the fairy lights still twinkled in soft greens and pinks. His eyes flicked from the rooftop to the balcony, back and forth, until they finally settled on Ladybug.

“You…” He blinked at her, then swallowed as he looked back to the rooftop. “That’s Marinette’s stuff up there, isn’t it?” He pointed behind her, but she didn’t turn to look. She bit her lip as she nodded and he blew out a breath. “Okay. Either I need to be pissed at you for taking Marinette’s stuff.” His eyes traveled back to hers. “Or I need to apologize for being an absolute ass and not figuring it out sooner.”

She hesitated. Either answer wasn’t what she wanted to tell him. One a half-truth and one a blatant confirmation. He was waiting for her to say something, although his tail was flicking around his calves impatiently.

“You weren’t supposed to figure it out, remember?” she finally asked. His eyes went wider than she’d ever seen them.

“But—if you’re—”

She hushed him with a finger to his lips and looked pointedly down at her skylight. He nodded and she led the way inside.

As soon as she had the cover of her bedroom, she dropped her transformation and Chat gaped at her. Tikki said nothing as she flitted away, but Marinette felt her disapproval and knew she’d be getting an earful later. She sat heavily in her desk chair and pulled her knees up to her chin, curling her toes around the edge of the seat. Chat sat across from her on the floor, his eyes still blown wide and glued to her. There was an awkward pause between them and she hated it. She’d never been awkward with Chat. She wanted to ask him what he thought, if he was angry, how he was feeling, but instead she just sank her chin into the top of her knees and waited.

“So…” he started eventually, “what… I mean, what happens now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… should I…?” He gestured to his mask.

She tilted her head sideways to consider. Who was going to tell them they couldn’t? The Guardian? That made it her choice. Her decision to keep the secret identity rule or not. She didn’t know anymore if it was more dangerous to know who he was or not—there were advantages and disadvantages to each situation—but one side of the reveal had already happened. There was no changing that.

“You can if you want to,” she decided finally.

He blew out a breath and seemed to consider before he nodded. “Plagg, claws in.”

Out of habit, Marinette closed her eyes against the bright green flash of magic. She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before she dared to open her eyes.

And found Adrien Agreste sitting in the middle of her floor.

She yelped as her chair tipped sideways, dumping her on the floor in a sprawl. She scrambled to fix her position, to fix her chair, to sit back down, to act rational and calm and—Adrien Agreste had been in her bedroom. Several, many, multiple times now. Adrien Agreste had been battling her in UMSIII, crawling over her playfully to get to snack bowls, staying over when he was too tired to run home, cuddling against her in blanket forts to watch movies—Adrien Agreste was her flirty, bantering partner who was head over heels in love with Ladybug—Adrien Agreste was…

He was looking up at her with concern plain in his green eyes, with that same sad smile on his face. Rejection. That’s what it was, what it had been that he’d hidden so well last time. He thought she was… what? Upset? That her Chat Noir—her partner, her best friend—was the same person that made her heart pound out of her chest whenever she saw him and turned her into a stuttering mess.

Her face was flaming, but she willed herself to stay in control. It wasn’t working. She hid her face behind her hands and an inhuman squeal came out of her. She shook her head. “Nope, I can’t… can you just…” she made a wrapping motion around herself to indicate that he should suit back up.

“Excuse me, I’m starving!” She heard a nasally voice complain. Plagg. Adrien sighed and she heard him rustling before the strong smell of camembert hit her nose and forced it to wrinkle.

“As soon as Plagg eats I’ll transform again and leave,” he said glumly.

“No!” Her hands flew out to stop his movement, but as soon as she saw him again she clapped her hands back over her eyes. “I-I mean, please don’t leave. I just… I need a minute, that’s all.”

“Are you okay, Marinette?”

She nodded, and another squeal escaped her from somewhere in her chest. This was going to take some adjustment. She took another deep breath and peeked at him between her fingers. That was… easier, at least.

His head tilted to the side. How had she not seen it before? It was the same gesture she’d seen Chat make a million times. A giggle burst out of her from between her fingers and she pressed them tighter to her lips. Deep breaths, Marinette. When she’d gotten her nervous fluttering under control, she lowered her hands and cleared her throat.

“Okay. There. See?”

He chuckled and stretched his legs out to lean back on his hands. Chat’s relaxed posture transposed over Adrien’s frame and it clicked into place for her. She climbed down from her chair to join him on the floor and he raised his eyebrows.

“So are you going to tell me what that was all about?” He gestured with his head to the rooftop. She had a brief thought that she had left her gaming equipment unattended, but it could wait just a bit longer. This was important.

“I’m an awful friend?” she tried. If at all possible, his eyebrows went higher. She sighed. “Alya. She… Oh, God, Alya…” She dropped her face into her hands as she started blushing again.

“What about Alya?”

“She thought we were dating…” Marinette mumbled into her hands. Or at least she thought she did, but since her hands were over her face and her forehead was on the floor, he probably hadn’t heard her. Hopefully he hadn’t heard her.

“Oh.”

She sat back up and was surprised to find him blushing. “Oh?” she asked, and he looked away from her, his blush deepening, as his hand came up to rub the nape of his neck.

“Yeah. Oh. As in, makes sense Alya would think that, you know?”

Marinette narrowed her eyes at him. “She thought I was dating Chat Noir because you were coming to my bedroom at night.”

“Yeah, I got that,” he muttered. “So… that’s why the whole ‘don’t come here anymore’ thing?”

She nodded. He blew out a breath and dropped his hand back to his lap, although he started fiddling with his Chat Noir ring. Adrien’s Chat Noir ring, that he’d been wearing since—

She toppled back over and her forehead thunked to the floor. He’d been wearing it since she’d met him. A day after Ladybug met Chat Noir. Since the beginning, then. She groaned at their mutual stupidity.

“Marinette?” He reached out and touched her shoulder and it sent a jolt of electricity straight back to her poor heart.

“Alya thought we were dating!” She groaned again. “And I got scared because I thought she would tell you! You-you, not Chat-you. Adrien-you. And if she told you then I didn’t know how to tell you—ugh, Chat-you, not, you know, not you-you that I was in love with someone else because I was in love with you-you the whole time!” She groaned again and sat up, fully aware that she was making no sense.

His brow furrowed as he focused on a spot on her floor. "You were in love with me?" he asked hesitantly.

She clapped her hands to her mouth as she felt her eyes go wide. Maybe she’d made more sense than she thought. She shook her head, then when he looked up at her through his eyelashes and quirked an eyebrow she nodded.

His smile widened until it was a megawatt grin. "You're in love with me."

“Shut up,” she muttered, even as an embarrassed smile started to spread across her face. There was another pause between them, charged with some unspoken electricity. She kept her hands over her face until her blush gradually cooled, although her smile seemed stuck in place. Adrien’s, too, although he was making no effort to hide it.

"So what'd you tell Alya?" he asked, his grin slipping sideways into a smirk. "About you and Chat Noir?"

If he were Chat Noir—which he was, she reminded herself—she would lob a pillow, or a plushie, or a handful of popcorn at him. As it was, she spluttered rather inelegantly. She could practically picture his cat ears perking up and his tail flicking excitedly behind him.

"What do you mean, 'what did I tell Alya?' I told her we were—we were…" Even as she tried to say it, a giggle escaped her. The irony of it. She cleared her throat. "Friends. Just friends. But she didn't believe me because she had this picture and…"

She tilted her head as she remembered the soft look in Chat's—in Adrien's eyes in that picture. The fond smile. Alya's insistence that Chat was head over heels for her.

"Why did you get me roses?"

It was his turn to blush and sputter.

"I… I thought… I wanted to…" He sat up straight and rubbed at the nape of his neck. "You like pink and I wanted to thank you for letting me hang out and play games and…"

"But you give Ladybug roses."

"Well, I wanted to give you roses, too," his defensive tone was at odds with the bright red of his cheeks. He chuckled and dropped his hand before he looked back at her. "Because I'm in love with you, too, Marinette."

Her breath caught in her throat.

"I was so confused for the longest time. I forced myself to think of you as a friend because I thought I couldn't love you and Ladybug, but the more time I spent with you, the more I realized how much I liked you and…" he shrugged. "I don't know, it just clicked. I've been in love with you for a long time now."

"So the roses…"

He shrugged again and looked away. "I figured I'd take a chance."

"And that's the night I decided to tell you to stay away…" She let her face fall into her hands and groaned as she shook her head. "I'm an absolutely awful person and a worse friend and—"

"Hey." His hand fell on her shoulder, snapping her out of her thoughts. "You're an amazing person, Marinette. Who else would've thought to move all that stuff to try to cheer up a friend?" He jerked his head to indicate the rooftop and the realization dawned on her that all her stuff was still up there. He chuckled at whatever expression she was making and stood, offering her a hand up.

"Speaking of which… need some help getting it back here?"

She put her hand in his, blushing furiously, and let him pull her to her feet. He locked eyes with her and brought the back of her hand up to his lips to brush them against her knuckles. When another squeal escaped her, he smirked and swept his arm out as he bowed his head.

"After you, Milady."

She giggled before she called for Tikki and his eyes widened as Ladybug's suit replaced Marinette's pajamas.

"Think you can keep up, kitty cat?" She flicked his nose, delighting in the crimson blush that spread across his cheeks and the stunned grin that he couldn't seem to stop.

She raced up her ladder and heard him transform as she swung up through her skylight. She glanced back once to see Chat emerging from her trap door before she slung her yoyo as far as she could and tugged, knowing he would be right behind her.

[sup-hoes-its-me]

A Hero II  (Shinsou x Reader)

A/N: I did not intend for this fic to be three parts, but it seems that I have been writing too fast to keep track of the word count. This chapter will have a little fluff with mostly angst. I promise though, the next part is entirely fluff and my favorite piece to date. Hope you enjoy and thank you so much for the support.

!!!Sort of spoilers but not really you’ll be fine

word count: 4350

Part One/Part Two/ Part Three

“Where are you?”

“I’m with Aizawa-sensei. Is everything okay?”

“Oh, that’s great. Do you mind if I come visit for a minute?”

“Uh, sure, but why?”

“I don’t know, I just really don’t feel good. I feel like crying and I need to see you.”

“Ah, okay. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“I’ll be by the classroom in like, five minutes.”

“See you in a little bit.” 

Shinsou set down his phone after hanging up. “I’m really sorry for taking a call while we’re talking, sensei.”

The dark haired, tired teacher in front of him only sighed and shook his head. He really didn’t care if the kid took a phone call. He was more mature and obedient than the majority of his students, so it wasn’t a big deal. It was nice to take a break from teaching reckless wannabe heroes all day like Midoriya and Bakugo. “Someone coming to interrupt our lesson, I suppose.”

“Yeah, but just for a second. It won’t be an issue.”

“Who?”

“Y/N.”

“Bakugo’s adoptive sister, right?” he asked, exasperated already. He could only imagine the kind of person someone related to that blond devil would be, even if it wasn’t by blood. Just being around him for so long no doubt would corrupt anyone. Having one Bakugo around was more than enough, but two? Unmanageable. A good reason to quit his job.

Shinsou nodded. He fiddled with his neck wrappings, feeling himself getting anxious. He wanted to see Y/N, he really did. But in front of his teacher, someone he looked up to and didn’t want to see him go soft...not ideal. He just hoped she would talk to him outside in private and nothing be heard or seen. “Yes.”

Aizawa leant back against the blackboard, crossing his arms over his chest. Talking about his personal life could be useful too. He was curious about the kid. He was so ambitious and strong-willed, competent in a world of idiots. If this girl, whoever she was, made him happy, that would only boost his morale when fighting. It was a good thing for him to be lovesick, actually. Aizawa hummed, “Interesting. She’s in your class, I completely forgot about that. Didn’t think you were the type to have friends, honestly.” 

“I’m not. It’s just...well, I can’t explain. She’s different.”

A head popped in the doorway of the classroom a moment later, and it was almost as if a cloud  had formed on the ceiling. Her smile was obviously fake, and her eyes screamed with the shine of not-so-distant sadness. He had to close his eyes for a quick moment and take a deep breath to calm himself down. His face was heating up and his heart started to race again. She was so fucking precious, even when she was about to cry..

“Shinsou,” she muttered, not even bothering to step into the classroom.

“I’ll be back in a minute, sensei.”

“That’s fine. Take your time.” The man waved off his student, not wanting to bother him. The girl looked pathetic standing there with that fake grin. Already, he could tell she wasn’t much like her brother. He should have known that knowing Shinsou cared for her so much. He wouldn’t associate with people like the hothead. Aizawa also didn’t hate her upon first glance, and that was quite shocking. He really disliked everyone.

Shinsou stepped outside into the hall. She stepped forward to be closer to him just by a little, and her eyes flickered down to his hand. Knowingly, he reached out to take her hand in his, rubbing the backs of her knuckles with his thumb, just like he always did when she was sad. She was the first one to initiate it, holding his hand that time in the alleyway. Ever since then, she asked for him to hold her hand, to make her feel a little better. 

“Did something happen?”

“No, not really. I’ve just had a really shitty day. I accidentally spilled fruit milk all over my homework and my brand new textbook. When I was walking out to the dorms, that little freak with the purple balls on his head tried to look up my skirt. My mom called and yelled at me because of my grade in mathematics, even though I told her you were gonna start tutoring me, but she didn’t even care. And then, when I got to the dorms, I tried to take a nap but I had this terrible nightmare where you died and stuff, and it’s just been a really bad day.”

“Wow, that does sound shitty, I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said. For a moment he paused, thinking through what he could do for her before asking, “Do you want to wait here and we can go out somewhere when Sensei and I are finished?”

“Maybe. I’d rather hang out with you the rest of the day then go back and wallow in my own self-loathing,” she answered miserably, letting her head fall to stare at her shoes. “I just don’t want to bother you, Shinsou.”

“Don’t say that. You’re never a bother,” he hushed. “Didn’t I tell you I would do anything for you?”

“You’re too nice to me.”

“Not possible. I’m just doing what I want.” He always said that. He was never doing her a favor, she was never making him go out of his way or do something he didn’t want to do. For some reason, he found that whatever she wanted, he also wanted. If she wanted to sleep in bed all day, so be it, that’s what he wanted to do too. If she wanted to travel the world, he might just drop everything in Japan and go with her. He felt ridiculous about it, but it was true. That’s how she made him feel.

Whenever she was happy, he was happy. So, all he wanted was her to be content.

“You’ll have to tell me more about your day and that nightmare you had later. Talking about it helps.”

“Okay.”

“Wait in the library until I’m done?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you later.”

He nodded, taking away his hand to step back into the doorway. He placed a hand on the doorframe and leaned into it. “Bye, Y/N.” His eyes trained on her face as she lifted her head to look at him, a small, genuine smile on her face this time. Maybe he was dramatic, but that girl was all he ever wanted to look at. That smile, it made him feel like a million bucks. He felt like a real hero whenever her lips turned up in that familiar way. 

“Thank you, Hitoshi. Bye…” He turned to enter the classroom but she stopped him, grabbing his wrist before he could completely go. When he turned to see what she wanted, she pushed herself forward into his arms, wrapping her own around his waist. “I really wanted a hug.” 

He sighed into her touch, wrapping his own arms around her shoulder and one to rest on the back of her head. “No problem.”

“Okay, now for real this time, bye.” Finally, the girl pulled away from his hug, waving to him with her now with a full bright smile on her face and a bit of pep in her step. For a moment, all he could look at was her going down the empty hall, he almost forgot what he was originally doing.

“You done?” a voice mumbled behind him, and he jumped. How could he forget that Aizawa was right there? He saw them hug and everything, how awkward. He felt like a real sissy boy in front of his idol. 

“Yes, sorry about that. Won’t happen again.”

The man rolled his eyes, his lip quirking in the tiniest of smirks. “We both know you can’t promise that,” he said. “So what is she? Your little girlfriend?”

His mouth opened and he stumbled over words to say. “No-No, of course not. She’s my friend and that’s it.”

“I see.”

They went back to the lesson as normal, talking and discussing possible moves and tools that could be utilized with his quirk. Still, Y/N ran through his mind over and over. At this point, he felt like he was actually going insane. Why couldn’t he focus on something else for once? Had this girl completely consumed his mind? He just couldn’t shake the thought of her and how she looked at him. Did people normally feel this way for their best friends? He had no idea, he’d never had one to know for sure.

Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to tell anyone about how he felt. He wasn’t really big on talking about his feelings.

The clock ticked away quickly, and by the time he was focused on the lesson at hand, it was already over. Aizawa had to go home to feed his cat dinner, and the sun was just going down for the night. He gathered his things and started out the door, leaving his sensei behind. 

“She’s cute.Your ‘not girlfriend’, that is. She’s not what I expected.”

“Yeah, I know. She’s kinda perfect.”

The older man only sighed, nodding to agree with the boy. “For you.”

“No, she’s just my friend.”

“Fine. She’s the perfect friend for you.” He waved his hands, motioning the boy to leave him the hell alone and go to the library. “Get going, your friend is waiting.”

Needless to say, that was one of the most embarrassing moments of his entire life. 

_____________________________________________

The dorms had been around for a couple months now, that meant that classes lived together and saw each other much more often than they used to. Shinsou had to admit, he wasn’t upset about the change. He couldn’t decide what he liked better, waking up to see Y/N in the dining room in her pajamas and hair untamed, stuffing her face with sugary cereal, or her visiting his room late at night after curfew to watch movies and stare out the window looking for constellations.

God, seeing her every day, even on the weekends... It made him feel like this was worth it. It had been months and he hadn’t tired of her. Normally, he couldn’t stand the same annoying friends after a period of time.

He was nearly asleep when a soft knock sounded on his door, echoing softly in the dorm. Lazily, he picked up a pen from his side table and tossed it to the door with a quiet thud, signalling for the only person it could be to come in. No one visited him in his dorm, no one except her.

The door creaked open, followed by a girl slipping through the crack. A click meant the door had closed, and he let out a breath of relief. She was here again to give him company, something he desperately needed.. 

When she was with him, he felt so different. He felt special, like there was hope for him. He relished in the feeling, entranced by her presence alone. 

"Hey," he breathed, rolling over in his bed to face her. She flopped down on the other side of the bed, face first into the pillows. “What’s up?”

“Lonely and missing you,” she told him. Again, his heart jumped at her words. She missed him. She always told him she missed him, when they were allowed to go home, when they had classes at different times, when she went out with her friend, on long weekends away from the dorms. She always missed him. He was almost sure she was exaggerating. How could she miss him that much? He wasn’t very exciting, just a friend. The only other person she often missed was her brother, who stayed across the yard of dorms.

“Well, what do you wanna do? Watch a movie or something?” he asked.

“Honestly, I just want to talk. I have so many things on my mind.” She paused, rolling over on the bed to face him, face sinking into his pillow. Her eyes held so much fear he thought she must be drowning in it. He had no idea what to expect when she came in that night. She hadn’t texted him or said anything earlier in the day during their classes.

 He wanted to reach out to her and hug her, make her feel some compassion instead, but he thought that was too intimate. If there was one thing he was afraid of, it would be making her uncomfortable. Part of the reason he loved her company was that she seemed completely at ease in his presence and he in hers. 

“It’s about this war,” she whispered.

“What’s worrying you?”

She shut her eyes, not wanting to look him in the eyes directly. Images of her friends and family lay dead in her mind, and she had to take a deep breath to calm down. “All I can think about is how many people we are going to lose. My brother is one of the strongest students here; no doubt he’s going to get dragged into this fight. Hell, he already has.”

Shinsou nodded, lost in a bit of his own thoughts. Everyone knew how dangerous the league was, how horrible the casualties would be. He tried not to think about it, but how can you not when everyone talks about it? When your teachers are preparing to die and leave you behind? “I know what you mean. Aizawa-sensei is in the same position.”

“It just scares me so much,” Y/N whispered, pressing her face deeper into the pillow, trying to find an ounce of comfort in the softness and the scent. Nothing was helping at this point. “What do I do if I lose Katsuki? What happens if they kill Hawks or Endeavour? What do we do then? Society can’t just expect kids to sacrifice their lives.”

“You just have trust in the ones stronger than you. I know it’s hard, hell, I just want to go out and fight alongside them,” he confessed. “But, I can’t, and you can’t.”

“I just hate it. I feel so fucking worthless, Shinsou,” she cursed, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes, soaking into the pillowcase tear after tear. “All Katsuki has ever done for me is protect me, fight for me; all my life he’s been this way. I hate that I’m not strong enough to help him now when he needs it the most. I'm so worthless.” her words began to shake, and toward the end, she choked down a sob. He watched the whites of her eyes fill with red, irritated from the tears and her squeezing her eyes shut to keep them in.

He lifted his arm, tucking the other under his pillow. Instinctively, she moved forward, pressing her forehead to his chest and curling her arms up in front of her to rest between. He held her to him, resting his chin on the top of her head, buried in her knotted hair. Her cries ran through her entire body, and he held her tighter to his chest in an attempt to ease the tremors. It seemed his instinct to hug was right. She needed this. 

Fuck, he needed the embrace too,  just to feel someone alive against him.

“Y/N, you’re not worthless. You give your brother hope and motivation just by being with him. He loves you, and wants to live another day so he can see his sister again. You know that,” he said soothingly, although he felt a tickle at the back of his throat, pain lurking up. “Besides, what would I do without you? I need you.”

“No one needs me, Hitoshi. Nobody,” she sobbed. How could she believe that? Both of the boys had saved her life multiple times, yet she had done nothing for them. “I’m just a background character. I’m nothing.”

He tilted his head down, his lips just skimming her hair. “You’re the only friend I have. You’re the first person who made me realize I could be a hero, that I wasn’t just a villain. Do you think that’s nothing? ” he muttered, “To me, you’re the main character. You’re all I care about and the only person I ever want to be with.” 

“Hitoshi, you fucking idiot,’ she cried. He felt her hands grab handfuls of his shirt, clenching her fists so tightly her knuckles must have turned white. “Why do you care so much about me?”

He lied. 

“It’s because you’re my best friend.”

It’s because I’m falling in love with you.

“I never want to lose you, Hitoshi. Promise me, you won’t leave me, promise,” Y/N begged, practically demanding him to give her that little push of assurance. She needed someone’s words to keep her going, to know it was okay.

“I promise.” 

It seemed like, when he was with her, he made more promise than he ever had in his life. Shinsou never believed in making promises because he never really intended on keeping them, so he avoided them. Yet, he wanted to make promises to her. He wanted her to trust him, and find comfort in his word. 

In this world, you can’t predict when you’ll die or how long you’ll live, but as long as he could, he would stay with her. 

He danced around their friendship. It always felt like he would make a mistake and reveal how he really felt about her. He loved their friendship, cherished it with all his heart. But that didn’t stop him from feeling something much more intense. He didn’t know for sure how he felt, only he was attached. Maybe he was falling for her. It could have been a crush. 

All he knew was that those feelings were real.

She lifted her head from his chest, and he pulled back to look down at her. She was puffy in the eyes and her cheeks stained with tears. He lifted his hand, gently bringing his thumb to rub against her cheek, pushing away the salty tears. His hand stayed there, fingers sliding against her skin so softly, almost ghostly. 

Goosebumps rose up on her arms at the subtle touch, and her heart beat faster. His hand stopped moving to rest on the side of her face, fingers tucked back by her neck. He was so warm, and she leant into him. Her eyes met his dark violet ones ridden with deep bags from lack of sleep. Still, he was handsome, so perfect in her eyes. His face moved closer to hers, and her eyes flickered down to his lips. Her eyes shut, moving ever so slowly closer to him.

A loud chime rang out from her back pocket. Startled, she jumped away from him, her hand flying to her pocket to grab her phone and shut it up. It was probably just a spam call anyway. 

Katsuki.

She sighed, sitting up on the mattress and swinging her legs over the edge. She turned back to the boy, but was unable to make eye contact. He laid there with his forearm resting over his eyes, not looking at her either. “Shinsou...I-I’m sorry but I have to take this. I’ll see you tomorrow in class, okay?”

“Yeah, no problem. I'll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you,” she said quietly as she walked out the door, answering the phone as she did so.

Once the door was closed, he let out a load groan, turning on his side and curling up around one of his pillows. What the fuck was that? Were they about to kiss or was that just his imagination? Why did Bakugo have to call at that very moment? He couldn’t have waited, like, another 10 seconds?

He felt so good, having her pressed against him, to hear her telling him she needs him, to hold her face in his hands. She was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, he was sure of it now. Even while she cried, she still looked perfect to him, like an angel came to Earth just for him. Maybe she was an angel after all. No other girl as wonderful as her would take interest in him. She was here to save him, bring him hope and love and make him feel something while he was alive for however long. He always longed to feel anything other than guilt and anger and sadness. 

And his angel had brought that to him.

_________________________________

Y/N had gone out to the corner store for some snacks that afternoon instead of training, so he proceeded to sit and study. His quirk wasn’t really the best to practice alone, for obvious reasons. In the courtyard outside, he sat with his heavy books, math problems flashing in his mind. 

He was smart, so this kind of thing was never an issue for him. For Y/N, though, they had to work on that. She despised mathematics with a passion to the point where he would have to bribe her just to get her to do her homework. It was sad, but quite humorous for Shinsou. 

“Yo, loser.”

He lifted his head at the voice, his eyes trailing up to see Bakugo, slouched over in his messy uniform. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, actually, you can.”

Shinsou prayed that there would be no violence here. But with how her brother was, it could go crazy really fast. It wasn't that he was afraid of Bakugo at all, in fact, Shinsou knew with his quirk he would win a fight. It would just make Y/N upset.  

He set down his pencil and moved over on the bench to make room for the blond, who hunkered down beside him. He didn’t take his hands out of his pockets, and didn’t move to make eye contact.

"Well what do you want?"

He shifted, practically itching to walk away. Still he persisted. "Y/N talks about you so fucking much, you know," he finally grumbled. "Shinsou this. Shinsou that. Seriously it's annoying "

Part of the purple haired boy was flattered and frankly excited. She talked about him to her family? He was sure it was all good things of course, but to know that he occupied her mind when he wasn't around? It was amazing. 

To be honest, he thought about her more than you normally would with just a friend. Her smile, her laugh, her voice. All of it just ran through his mind all hours of the day. 

"Ah, okay."

"Listen, I'm definitely not here to be your friend, fuck that. You're a creepy ass dude." As usual, rude as hell with no filter whatsoever. Typical. "It's just that I feel like I should...ugh, thank you."

"Huh, never thought I'd hear that come from you, Bakugo," Shinsou replied with a smirk.

"Shut it." He paused, leaning back to stare up at the sky. "Y/N hasn't ever really had a friend, not one that was good to her at least. You're the first person to really bring her out of her shell. She's a hard-core introvert, I guess."

"Don't thank me. I'm not doing anything I don't want to."

"I know. It’s just that when I convinced her to come to U.A., she thought she would be all alone, you know, bullied and shit like before. I'm just glad someone's been there for her."

"I really can't see why people would bully her. She's kind and beautiful and smart."

"Yeah, right, I know. People just like to pick on little girls." Bakugo sighed, clenching using fists in his pockets. "I've just gotten so busy recently with everything, I haven't had the time to be her brother. You've watched out for her instead."

"She doesn't even need someone to watch out for her. She's not a baby, she's strong enough to handle herself now," Shinsou replied. "We all have our moment of weakness."

"Y/N told mom about how you got rid of that thug the day I was sick. Can't believe it," he muttered. "Nothing happened, but I swear if you weren't there and something did,  I would’ve kicked some major ass. So thanks for that too."

"Like I said, you shouldn't thank me. It's just the right thing to do."

"Yeah, but you aren't just doing it out of the kindness of your heart, Y/N isn't a damn charity.” His face lightened for a moment, the scowl softening into a grimace. "You love her, any dumbass can tell. I'm not sure if she feels the same way, but, shit…I’ve just never seen her happier than when she’s hanging out with you."

Shinsou said nothing. What was there to say? Bakugo was right. He did love her. Maybe for a while he thought it was just a crush, but it wasn't. Sure, if that criminal were harassing anyone else, he would do the same thing for them. Only, he wasn't sure he would turn around from his walk home to make sure they were safe. He wouldn't let just anyone come into his room at any hour of the night for hugs and cuddles, or a shoulder to cry on. That just wasn't him. 

So he felt comfortable being confronted with the fact. Because it was real. He really loved her, and he would never deny it.

"I've got a bad feeling, loser. A really bad feeling something is gonna happen to me. You have to be there for Y/N when it does. Swear to me," Bakugo commanded, turning to stare the other boy in the eyes. They weren't friends, it was true. In fact, Shinsou didn't like the guy one bit. But he could feel the pain and hopelessness in his voice, guilt that he might not be there anymore. 

And so, he felt himself making another promise for her.

He nodded. "Yeah, I swear. I'd never let anything happen to her."

"Good. Glad to know there's somebody else out here in this shitty world that loves her."

"Me, too."

Part Three is up as well so check that out.

Taglist: @vicisbookishblog  @annepamgkrth @smellslikenonsense

[thiswasinevitableid]

winter prompt fill 29, indruck, sfw?

29. i should’ve done my shopping a month ago but now i’m running around last minute and when i enter your store, i’m absolutely frazzled. help me.

(Pinecone is borrowed from harrisonator’s fic “Monster Mash”)

Working at Kepler Petco isn’t the worst thing, even during the holiday shopping hellscape months. It’s not like anyone is getting in fistfights over cases of Fancy Feast. Which is why, on the 22nd of December, Duck is unprepared for the sudden sound of hands on hitting the countertop. 

“I need help.” The guy’s about his age, silver hair going patchy black near the top, pink and white striped sweater around his neck and a massive sweater hanging off his lanky frame. His red glasses barely conceal brown, anxious eyes. 

“Sure, what’re lookin for?”

“Rat treats, the kind that won’t make them ill.”

“Can handle that, right this way.” Duck leaves the counter and leads the guy back to the small mammal section. As they go the man spins a ring on his index finger, flushing under the merciless heating vents. 

“I’m sorry for the dramatic entrance. I have a mountain of things to do today and your store closes first.”

Duck glances at the AKC branded clock on the wall, which shows 12:30 p.m, “We close at five.”

“Yes, I know, but I really cannot overstate how behind I am on my Christmas shopping. Or, well, holiday is more accurate, since Joseph celebrates Hanukkah, which means I’m already late on that.” He sighs, runs a finger with chipped black nails through his hair.

“Big family?” Duck points to the row of snacks, grabs the man a basket from the end of the aisle when he starts piling them into his arms. 

“Lots of friends. We’re having a party tomorrow and I completely forgot about it until today. I know it’s ridiculous to forget about a holiday where you can’t turn around without being slapped with a reminder of it, but my brain doesn’t always work in the way I’d like it to.”

“No judgement here. Once forgot my sisters birthday until the minute my mom asked if I could get some candles for the cake after school.”

“Oh dear.” The man smiles, the expression shifting from odd to shy when Duck meets his eyes, “thank you for your help.”

Five minutes later the guy heads towards the register, then stops, backtracking to the display of rats, mice, and hamsters. Duck joins him in case he has questions, and to steal another look at his singular features. They’re not handsome on the surface, but something about them draws his eye back over and over. He’s just in time to hear the man cooing to a pair of brown rats.

“...so lovely, aren’t you just charming? If I could I’d take you home but space is limited. Oh” he blushes when he sees Duck, “I’m, ah, ready to pay now.”

“One of your friends got rats?” He indicates the pile of treats the man is buying.

“Hmm? Oh, no, these are for Luna and Emperor, my rats. I wanted to get them presents too.”

Duck can’t decide if the fact the guy prioritized spoiling his pets on the day he had to buy a bunch of gifts is adorable or worrying.

“As I said, I came here because you close first. And I, ah, I like spoiling them. It’s nice to know exactly how to cheer another living thing up.”

“I get that. Pinecone, that’s my, uh, my cat, gets more treats a month than I do.”

“Someone ought to buy you a few, then.”  The man murmurs, handing over his debit card. 

Duck, caught up in the mechanics of fighting with the card reader, doesn’t realize he’s being flirted with until the man is no more than a silver head merging into the throng outside. 

He’s lowkey annoyed with himself the rest of the day; he’s been in the market for a cute guy, and while his mystery shopper may not be Ryan Gosling, but Duck wouldn’t mind getting his number. 

Since he opened today, he gets off at three, decides to swing by Crate and Barrel in case the apron he thinks Barclay might like. There’s small hallways dotted through the mall, leading to exits or to backrooms.  As he passes one, he gets a glimpse of silver hair and a vibrant scarf. That’s the only good part of what he sees; the man from earlier is pressed close to the shiny wall, trying and failing to get his breathing order.

“Hey, man, you okay?”

He jolts, registers who’s speaking, and looks at the ground, “N-not really. I, part of the reason put this off so long is I can get incredibly overwhelmed in crowds sometimes, and yes I know that makes coming here three days before Christmas even worse an idea but I thought maybe I could handle it, but I’ve only managed to buy two of the gifts I need because I cannot focus with everything going on and, and I’m sorry, here I wanted to charming around you and now you’ve seen this and-”

“What would help?”

“I, I’d like to go somewhere quiet, but there’s nowhere, even the bathrooms are packed.”

“Do you, uh, want to come sit in my car for a bit? I can run the heater so we don’t freeze.”

“That’s really alright?” The question is so small and vulnerable he wants to tuck it into a shoebox to keep it safe.

“Yeah. C’mon, I’m parked on this end.” 

It’s snowing on and off as they walk to his car, and as he gets it running and turns on the heat his passenger finally pulls his clenched hands from his pockets; one holds a fidget cube, the other a very small, plush moth.

“I tried so hard to prepare for every possible future.” Is what he gets as explanation. The man sets both items in his lap and shuts his eyes, breathing slowly in and out. Duck says nothing, opens his phone and plays two rounds of Plants vs. Zombies before he hears anything at all from beside him. 

“Would you mind turning the radio on, at a low volume?”

“Any requests?” Duck hits the power button.

“No talk radio.”

“Can manage that.” He fiddles around and finds the alternative station. Even it has Christmas songs interspersed with the usual mix. 

“Is your name really Duck?”

He wonders if the guy is omnipotent until he remembers his nametag.

“It’s a nickname.”

“I’m Indrid.” He opens his eyes, “thank you for letting me come here to calm down. I may actually manage to succeed in my quest now. It’s so hard, I actually enjoy being out around the lights, the feeling of so many people being happy or trying to do kind things for each other. But it’s easy to get overwhelmed, especially when I’m alone.”

“Would it help if you weren’t?”

“Possibly, but I couldn’t ask you to spend even more time in that mall given you work there.” 

“Got some last minute shoppin to do myself. Besides, if you get stuck on a gift, I’m pretty damn good at comin up with ideas.”

“Thank you.” Indrid smiles, excited, and that settles it: Duck is asking for his number after this.

They brave the crowds and the holiday cheer blaring across the speakers once more. The first stop is a store selling housewares, including a pair of small succulents that Indrid deems worthy of giving a friend as he listens to Duck talk about his part time job at the National Forest, laughing when Duck mentions last weeks run-in with a pissed-off migratory bird. 

The next few stores are no help, and they opt to take advantage of the lull between when people are done with school and when people are done with work to hit up the coffeeshop, Indrid ordering a white chocolate peppermint mocha and promptly getting whipped cream on his nose. Duck is tempted to kiss it off, settles for handing his new friend a napkin while he talks about his recent return to Kepler after traveling around the country in a Winnebago, selling his art at shows. As luck would have it, the store has a shelf devoted to artisan or local coffees, and they’re each able to find one for someone on their list. 

Macy's proves more treacherous, and once five o’ clock hits even Duck is feeling cramped. Indrid is tensing, his replies getting short or far off, and just as Duck is about to offer to dip out again, chilly fingers link with his own.

“Is this alright?”

“Better than alright.” He grins and Indrid holds tighter, breathing in through his nose and out his mouth as Duck guides them into a less crowded corner. The do eventually find some high quality hiking socks that Indrid buys, only letting go of Duck in order to pay. 

They reward themselves with dinner at Johnny Rocket, Duck hopping over to Indrid’s side of the booth to see pictures of Emperor and Luna, and show off the photos he has of Pinecone hiding under his ranger jacket. 

“One more stop, thank goodness.” It’s going on seven and Duck has to say he agrees; he loves being around Indrid, but his feet are killing him and he’s had “Jingle Bells” stuck in his head for an hour. 

Indrid’s last item is at Crate and Barrel, and Duck laughs when the other man goes straight to the aprons. 

“You got good taste, I’m gettin’ one of these too. Barclay said he needed a new one.”

A fine-boned hand freezes mid-reach, “Did you say Barclay?”

“Yeah?”

“I am also buying this for a Barclay. Is your Barclay, by chance, dating someone named Joseph and hosting a party tomorrow?”

“Yep.”

They stare at each other, frozen long enough that another shopper passes between them. Then they double over in sync, Duck wheezing out a laugh while Indrid cackles. 

“Holy shit, we’ve been shoppin for the same folks!”

“Barclay mentioned there’d be new people at the party but I never thought one of them would be such a catch.”

Duck gets his breathing in order, steps across the faux-hardwood and takes Indrid’s hand.

“Hey, Indrid? You wanna be my date to the party tomorrow?”

“Absolutely.”

“....wait, fuck, which one of us is gonna give him the apron?”

“You can, I have another idea for him. Consider it an early present from me.” Indrid tease. 

“Sugar,” Duck slips his hands into Indrid’s back pockets, smiling up at him, “you might just be all the present I need.”

[jmnjmnjmn]

Eternal beings | Chapter 8

Pairing: Vampire!Jungkook x Human!Reader

Key words: supernatural, vampire.

Word count: around 3,500

Warnings: swearing,  sadness, jealousy, mentions of murder

Inspo board

Masterlist

I’m also working ona a Taehyung thing right now so please bear with my posting schedule...

You opened your eyes at the abrasive sound of your alarm. Feeling as if you haven’t slept a minute last night you sat up on the bed and looked out the window. The morning was foggy, the light drizzle visible in the rising sun. You looked down onto the street looking for Jungkook, but no one was there. It was half past five, still too early for him to be waiting for you outside. Nonetheless the prospect of him being out there - somewhere, anywhere, coming your way - made you feel uneasy. You picked yourself up from the bed lazily and headed for the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face before applying some makeup. As you approached your bedroom’s door you stumbled over something on the floor. Looking down you noticed the pile of clothes you angrily threw and kicked to the ground last night. The memory of it made you feel even more shitty. Because of your frustration with Jungkook you blew up on Taehyung who wasn’t at fault here at all. You made a mental note to yourself to make it up to him today and went on with your morning routine more quietly than ever not to wake him or his dog.

As you applied your makeup, did your hair and packed your bag you looked out the window onto the street every now and then to make sure Jungkook’s not standing there, waiting for you. His absence made you anxious. It was nearing six when you finally walked downstairs to eat a quick breakfast before heading out. You decided on one of the “1 minute oatmeal” mixes Taehyung had in his kitchen cabinet. You poured hot water over the dusty mixture and scrunched your nose at the strange smell, hoping it looked and smelled worse than it tasted. With the steaming bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other you once again walked to one of the windows on the front of the house. There wasn’t even a stray cat on the street. You stood by that window eating the oatmeal and slowly realising that this is not your kind of breakfast.

“Maybe the reason Taehyung has so many of these is that he doesn’t want to eat them, because they suck so bad…” You said to yourself as you were quickly washing up the dishes after yourself. You dried your hands and rushed to the door, not wanting to be late for work.

As you were tying your sneakers you felt your stomach tighten. You were nervous about what, or rather who, you would see waiting for you outside. You took one more deep breath before opening the door. To your surprise no one was there. The emptiness of Taehyung’s driveway didn’t make you feel any less nervous. You turned your back to the street to lock the door behind yourself and as you pulled the key out of the lock you heard the heavy iron handle on Taehyung’s home’s gate squeak.

“Here we go…” You muttered under your breath and turned around. Jungkook was walking through the gate with his eyes focused on the handle he was gripping. He looked up at you and gave you a half smile.

“Hey.” He mouthed quietly, as though he could wake up the neighbourhood if he spoke with his full voice. You caught yourself starting to become warm inside and quietly told yourself in your mind not to fall for his tricks and do that.

The two of you walked silently all the way to the station. You kept your hands in your pockets clenched in fists not only to protect them from the strange cold of today's morning, but also because of your once again raising frustration. You didn’t know how you should or shouldn’t feel about this whole ordeal with Jungkook. Both him and Yoongi told you yesterday that they were vampires and you couldn’t wrap your head around it. The only way to make it make sense was to believe they’re both insane or ask them for a more detailed explanation. The first option appealed to you the most.

As you stood on the station awaiting your train Jungkook paced around next to you humming something quietly. You glanced at him and almost smiled, but stopped yourself quickly before anyone could see. You avrted your eyes back to the tracks, furrowing your brows.

Usually there were a couple of empty seats on the train at this time, but today it was more crowded so you stopped a couple of steps from the door and grabbed onto a bar for stability. As you pulled out your phone to check the time you felt a weight come onto your shoulder. You looked towards it and saw Jungkook holding onto the sleeve of your jacket. This time you didn’t hold back the smile remembering how you and your friends always grabbed onto each other’s bags, shoulders and jackets to keep balance on a moving bus or train.

You felt silly. He seemed so innocent yet… You couldn’t just forget about what he said he did to (Victim’s name). He was a murderer. He admitted it. The fact that you didn’t call the police immediately after meeting him for the first time after that faithfull night on Third made you no better than him. There was no excuse you could come up with for withholding such important information in an official FBI investigation. You were a criminal. Just like Jungkook. You might have not murdered anyone, but you lied and covered for him. You looked down at your phone with tremendous guilt in your heart. There were so many times you could have called the police, so many opportunities, that you didn’t take, to come clean and make this mess go away.

“Central station.” A robotic female voice announced from the train speakers. You picked up your gaze realising it’s your stop and made your way to the opening door with Jungkook following closely behind.

You walked together, side by side, still in total silence. As you were not more than ten meters from the shop’s doog Jungkook slowed down his pace and stopped. You automatically did the same which made you feel really dumb. He was the one following you to work. You should’ve kept walking and left him behind to get rid of him at least for a moment, but you didn’t and answering the question of “why?” seemed like too hard of a task for the moment.

“What time do you finish your shift?” He asked, stepping in front of you.

“E- Wait, no.” You barely managed to refrain yourself from telling him what he wanted to know. “ Why do you want to know?” You answered his question with your own already knowing what he’ll say.

“I want to pick you up and walk you home.” You exhaled loudly, looking away and giving your head a small shake.

“Don’t.” You replied after a moment, your gaze still resting somewhere far off in the street.

“Come on, (Y/N).” Jungkook said in a teasing manner, putting his hands in his jeans pockets.

“I don’t need a shadow.” You finally managed to look at him again. Your eyes travelled from his chin to his lips and up to his eyes which were a dark shade of brown right now. “Especially from a guy like you.” You added and his smile widened.

“Like me?” He chuckled referring to your altercation from last night.

“Don’t start.” You muttered, feeling your stomach turning at the thought of hearing about vampires again.

“Alright, alright. But just so you know I was asking to be polite.” He said, taking a step back. “I already know your schedule. I’ll be here ten to eleven.” Your eyebrows travelled up involuntarily at his statement. “Have a good day at work, (Y/N).” He added taking another step back still facing you. With his next step he turned around, shooting you a smirk.

Confused about how he knew your work hours you walked into the shop and headed straight for the door marked with a “staff only” sign. Your wonderment was cut short as you set your eyes on the only other person in the break room.

“Jimin.” You said your coworker's name, greeting him as you closed the door behind yourself. He smiled up at you from his phone and went back to typing something up on the screen rapidly. “Did you by any chance talk to Jungkook recently?” You asked him, setting your bag down on the old couch. He glanced up at you from his phone again with his eyebrows raised. Your question must have caught his attention, because he quickly locked his phone and put it in his jeans backpocket.

“Yeah. We talked.” He answered with a cheeky smile you didn’t appreciate. “If he only knew!” You called out in your head.

“And did you talk about me?” You proceeded with the questions.

“We did.” Jimin put his arms across his chest and his grin grew wider.

“Perhaps about my work schedule?” Jimin only smiled at you without a word, but it was enough of an answer. “Jimin, why?” You sighed, not knowing how to knock it out of his head that you were interested in Jungkook.

“I did you a favour. Without me you would never end up seeing him.” You put your palm on your forehead feeling a headache forming under there and rubbed it slowly. “Oh, don’t pretend you don’t like it.” He snickered.

“Did it ever cross your mind that I might not want to see him?” You tried to explain it to him slowly so that you didn’t slip and say something you didn’t mean to say to him. Like for example: Your crazy boyfriend claims he and his friend are vampires.

“(Y/N), you quit being so pessimistic.” He said walking up to you and hugged you from the side. “Jungkook is nothing like your previous crushes and boyfriends you told me about.” Jimin rubbed your shoulder trying to comfort you, but all you could feel right now was helpless and misunderstood. “He’s a good guy.” You exhaled a soft chuckle at his statement. “There’s nothing weird about him, no obsessions or questionable past. Yoongi can vouch for him.” You couldn’t stop a grin forming on your face and looked up at Jimin.

“Somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better.” He frowned and thought for a moment before speaking again.

“Well, I know you had a fight last night-” You didn’t let him finish and pulled out  from under his arm. How is it that everyone knows everything about you and yet you are clueless about everything that is going on?

“Wha- Who told you- Taehyung? That-” You struggled to for a proper sentence and before you could succeed Jimin cut you off.

“Don’t be angry with him.” He defended Taehyung. “He just wants the best for you. Like me.” He added with a smile. You couldn’t get angry with him. Yes he meddled and gossiped, but he didn’t know half of what you knew and he didn’t mean to do any wrong.

“I know Jimin, but I think I know best what’s best for me.” You said, rubbing your forehead again to make the impending headache go away. “Trust me and let me make my own decisions, okay?” Jimin put his arms across his chest again, looking at you with sympathy in his eyes. “I’ll handle this whole Jungkook deal myself without you, Taehyung or Yoongi getting involved.” You said, hoping that you just put an end to this discussion.

“About Yoongi.” Jimin perked up and you felt your shoulders drop a little. “He tells me you went to him asking all sorts of questions about your admirer-” 

“Come on!” You cut him off, hearing more than enough. “I just told you not to meddle in this!” Now you had your arms in a knot across your chest as well. “Please, Jimin. Just- Just let me do this at my own pace, okay?” You asked him sincerely.

“Okay, okay.” He sighed. “But remember everything you tell Jungkook he will tell Yoongi and Yoongi will tell me.” As he listed this chain of communication a cheeky smile formed on his face once again.

“God damnit, Jimin.” You laughed and pushed his shoulder.

“I’m kidding.” He chuckled and the two of you, still bickering, went out of the break room to go on with today's workload.

-

Towards the end of your shift you were on checkout duty, googling out all the information about the murder case from last weekend when a ridiculous thought came to your mind. You opened a new tab in the internet app on your phone and  let your thumb hover over the letter “v”, still hesitant whether you should go down this rabbit whole. You were deep in thought when Jimin called your name simultaneously bringing you back to reality. “One that doesn’t include vampires.” You thought hopefully.

“(Y/N).” Before he could say anything more you realised you were covered in goosebumps. You looked at the thermometer on the window to check the room's temperature, but as you turned your gaze towards it you noticed the real reason behind your body’s odd behaviour. “Your boyfriend’s here.” Jimin said, looking through the glass door with a box of blue Fanta in his arms.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You muttered. Jungkook was in fact out there like he promised, walking towards the shop in long strides. He noticed you eying him through the window and waved in your direction with a smile.

“Ten to eleven, (Y/N).” He greeted you as he walked through the shop’s door, ringing the small bell hanging over it. “Hey, Jimin.” He greeted your coworker who still stood by the door with the box of beverages he was supposed to set up on a shelf in the front. “Are you ready?” He asked you.

“It’s ten to eleven. I still have ten more minutes of work to do.” You said emphasizing the word “ten” each time, reluctant to go anywhere with him. Jungkook opened his mouth, but before he could say a word Jimin cut in.

“You can go. I’ll finish up here, (Y/N).” He smiled sweetly at you and Jungkook, but you knew what was really hiding under that expression. “Go on, get your things.” He urged you, but you didn’t move an inch from behind the register. The two of you stood in your places, Jimin with the box of Fanta in his arms and you with your palms resting on the counter, looking each other in the eyes trying to communicate with them and without speaking up.

“I’ll wait. It’s just ten minutes.” Jungkook finally said, glancing between the two of you and breaking the silence. He leaned on the counter and pulled his phone out to occupy himself with.

You sighed and hoped for a customer to come in or something so that those ten minutes really seemed like work and not just you trying to stick it to Jimin and Jungkook. Unfortunately for you no one came in. As the ten minutes were quickly coming to an end you decided to collect your things and get going. You reached under the counter to unplug your phone’s charger when the volume on the worn-out TV above your head increased. When you got up from under the counter you saw Jimin with the remote in his hand, the Fanta box empty under his arm.

“Look, (Y/N). It’s your case.” He said pointing to the screen and turning the volume up even higher. You looked at the screen terrified. 

“Your case?” Jungkook asked from behind you without even a bit of curiosity in his voice. You didn’t have to face him to see the expression he had on his face, you knew he had that smug cocky smile all over it.

“She’s a witness.” Jimin explained to him, clueless of the fact he just outed you as a rat to the killer you were testifying against to the police.You felt your cheeks turn red, but decided to try to play it cool.

“Old news.” You shot Jimin down, trying to talk over the news anchor who was now describing in detail how (Victim’s name) was found that faithfull night you saw Jungkook for the first time. “Nothing really came out of my statement.” You said turning to face the two guys. “I didn’t see or hear much to be honest.” You babbled with your voice being a little higher pitched than usual from the nerves as rolled up your charger.

“Well, you did see the guy.” Jimin said, putting the remote down on the counter. Jungkook raised his brow at you and slowly put his arms across his chest, getting ready to enjoy the show of Jimin and you spitting arguments back and forth.

“It was dark.” You said.

“You gave a description to a sketch artist.” He answered.

“I didn’t have my glasses on.” You kept explaining.

“You told me you would definitely recognize him if you saw him on the street.” 

“After giving it more thought I don't really think I could.”

“You said he was kinda hot.”

“Didn’t!” You yelled and felt yourself burning up.

“Alright, that I made up.” Jimin laughed.

“I’m going home.” You said grabbing the remote and turning the TV off which earned you a resigned moan from Jimin. “I’ve got online classes to attend.” You added slipping out from behind the counter and walking towards the back room.

“You two go. I’ll wait for our switch. Who is late. Again.” You heard Jimin complain in a playful tone behind your back.

You rested your back on the closed door of the back room and sighed deeply. As you relaxed your shoulders you began feeling how tense they were for the past ten minutes or so since Jungkook walked into the shop. You took off your name tag slowly and put it on the pin board on the wall feeling the soreness in each muscle in your arms. You stuffed your jacket into your bag and threw it over your shoulder. As you rested your sweaty palm on the cold door handle you stopped for a second to make the impossible wish of not seeing Jungkook when you step out onto the shop. You exhaled slowly to prepare yourself to be let down and pushed the door open.

“Ready?” He asked sweetly as you approached the front door and also him. You noticed Jimin trying to hide a cheeky smile as he stood behind the checkout.

“Bye, Jimin.” You said, knowing already he must have told Jungkook something you asked him not to. Deciding not to answer him and just kept walking all the way to the door. Jungkook bid his farewell to your coworker as well and swiftly turned as you passed him by.

Together you walked down the street. Shoulder to shoulder. You were about to take the turn right to the train station when Jungkook spoke up.

“Here.” You heard a beeping sound and you averted your eyes to where it came from. Jungkook walked towards a black car parked on the sidewalk leaving you a couple of steps behind as you stood in place unsure of what to do. He reached for the door handle on the passenger's side and opened it for you.