#also not me playing along because I Wikipedia people too much

[the-physicality]

How tall is team Canada?

From Emma maltais tik tok

[kindsoulbuddy]

The thing about praise and worship music at church is that

It’s catchy

Repetitive simple lyrics

It’s played on repeat every Sunday

So even though I’ve been deconstructing for years from evangelicalism, most days praise and worship music from my youth plays in my head.

So every once in a while I’ll sing to myself something joyful like “I got peace like a river I got peace like a river I got peace like a river in my soul!” 🎶

Or maybe “ Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere!” 🎶

Or maybe something peaceful like “As the deer panteth for the water so my soul longeth after Thee…”🎶

Mostly it doesn’t bother me.

But then 90s/Y2K Christian pop music gets stuck in my head.

Like sometimes Rebecca St. James lyrics go through my head like this one glorifying purity culture:

“I am waiting for, praying for you darling! Wait for me too, wait for me as I wait for you! Darling Wait!”

Or you know just songs from DC Talk..

“What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?”

Or

“There’s no time to change your mind, the Son has come and you’ve been left behind.”

I think about the awful Rapture Anxiety I had for years and years…

And then i think about being in youth group and yes the fun times but also the moments when we had alter calls.

And the crying and sobbing. The speaking in tongues. The teenagers falling on their faces.

The sensationalized, sometimes violent “Human Videos” (just look up human videos on YouTube there are many).

Teens vowing to die for Christ.

When the Columbine shooting happened all we heard about were the apocryphal stories of students being martyred for Jesus.

I wondered “will a shooter come into our church today and ask us to deny Christ or be shot? What will I do if that happens??”

And what if I lose my salvation just because I had doubts? And what if I get possessed by a demon?

Not to mention purity culture and what it does to a young girl. (All kids suffered but we girls had to be modest and never cause any man to stumble by looking at our shoulder or something)

Abstinence class and signing a pledge to remain a pure virgin until my wedding night.

All the teenagers in every youth group were running around with raging hormones and couldn’t do anything about it. So a lot of us got married quickly. (I was engaged at 19, married at 21).

I mean I’m not even getting into young earth creationism or anti-gay rhetoric or pro life marches, etc..

But you can see that so much of my life (as good as it was for the most part, I was fortunate)was fear based?

And the thing is most of the people (congregation, I can’t speak for all the pastors and church leaders) at church didn’t mean for it to happen that way.

See, I was taught that there is freedom in Christianity. But why didn’t I feel free? That must mean my faith is weak, right?

It’s just so exhausting.

And I went to church regularly for my first 33 years of life. I volunteered, I taught Sunday school classes. I was trying to do it the right way.

Then Covid 19 happened.

I was forced to stop going to church for the first time in my life.

And honestly for years before this I was deconstructing. What really sped this process along was a certain Orange president and his very un-Christianlike followers.

And like Paul in the book of Acts, the scales fell off my eyes. I was blind but now could see. Really see.

The way my Christian peers were acting. The way they refused vaccines and even wearing masks. The cult-like behavior toward Donald Trump. The Christian nationalists.

And after a few months of no church…I realized I didn’t miss it.

After 2020, my deconstruction days really took off. I still don’t go to church (outside of a few weeks trying a gay-affirming congregation).

I used to compulsively pray.

And for hours i would pore over the scriptures trying to glean special meaning. Taking copious notes deep into the night.

(have OCD and I now realize that this brand of religion made my OCD symptoms so much worse.)

But it’s weird…

I have religious trauma. I’m learning about how I was literally in a cult. I’m still trying to unlearn stuff. I still get fearful sometimes about “what if I’m wrong?”.

But I still have good memories of growing up in church. Just like how I still sing old church songs in my head.

I’ve been to many churches, but I grew up in a small country church. I knew it like the back of my hand. It’s how I met some of my best friends and in turn, it’s how I met my husband of 17 years.

I can’t say I regret it. Like anything in life it’s complicated and complex.

I miss the social aspect of church too. I’ve never found another social space like it. I’ve tried! I can’t figure out any other “3rd place” that resembles it.

I’m not sure why i wrote so much down except to say i know a lot of people understand where I’m coming from.

In the meantime, I like to go on r/fundiesnarkuncensored, also i watch Fundie Fridays on YouTube…and I do quite a bit of reading on the subject of others who left the church. Recently I just read Tia Levings’ new book “the Well Trained Wife.”

I’m more at peace about it.

But I think my complex feelings and even some doubts will follow me forever.

[an-aura-about-you]

it's lunchtime and I'm in the mood to see how far I can get into Handbook for Mortals because I've heard the next chapter is super long. but also idk how much of it will be worth summarizing. I know the big highlights, but let's see what we've got.

moving on to Chapter 7 part 1:

when we last left our hero Scheherazade gave the mean girls an embarrassing one liner that worked for no other reason than author fiat and Jackson is a simp.

now on to Chapter 7: Strength

-so in the last chapter Zade said it was nice to pretend she had friends, but this chapter starts with her and Riley being up in the catwalk and her telling us that he's become like a little brother to her. she hasn't given us any more time jumps, so it's possible she was just lying before and I had my pity spiral for the author for nothing.

-you know how sometimes a person says a saying all wrong? Riley just did that with, "Curiosity killed the cat." like it's cliche but there's a reason it's cliche, bro.

-Riley gives us the deets on why Mac has a rule about not dating performers: he was in love with one, they slept together, and she thought it was just a one night stand while he thought they were gonna be in a relationship. she decided to string him along and it really crushed him. idk, with the way Sarem wrote Mel in the previous chapter, I'm not sure I believe she did Mac that dirty.

-also her name was Clara Faust. goddamn I love that name. I wanna see her girlboss it up.

-Clara is also apparently so bad that "she makes Sofie look like Mother Theresa." amazing. I don't even have anything else to say about that.

-hmm interesting. Zade tells us she's never been in love before. liked people and had crushes, yes, but never love. that perks my lithromantic ears up, and I could actually really see that? but much like my acedar going off with Anastasia Steele, I doubt that's what the author intended.

-the gang is getting ready to leave for the day and Jackson asks Zade if she's going to see his band perform tomorrow night. this is when we get the sledgehammer to the face that Sarem actual wrote in real life honest to goodness band the Plain White T's in her book as Zade namedrops them here. only with her Jackson Rathbone proxy as the lead singer. like, it is so jarring to see real celebrities in this thing and this is not the only time we see it. this CAN be fun when done right, but it requires a light touch, a passing mention. I think my favorite way was in the Barbie movie when they talked about escaped Kens.

-"He had asked me this earlier when we were eating together in the Employee Dining Room, which we cleverly rever to as the 'EDR.'" if I had to read that line, so do you.

-ok this book just namedropped Leona Lewis and idk if this is telling or standard that the reason I know who she is (after doublechecking on wikipedia) is because I saw her in Mamma Mia ripoff jukebox musical Walking on Sunshine. (don't watch it. it's not good. just look for pictures of Annabel Scholey as Maddie.)

-Zade agrees to go to the show because why not she doesn't have anything else going on. I'm not even a Plain White T's fan but that does feel a little insulting. I know that's just how it is sometimes when you go see your friend's band perform but geez.

-the three music genres Zade drops while wondering what they play are alternative, Americana, and -hopefully not- metal. like, I'm not gonna say I venture out of my own little range of genres too frequently, but I know from experience that it's worth it to give every genre you encounter a try because there IS something good in every genre. also there are wide swaths of metal, genres within genres. there's a big difference between whatever Metallica's doing and Christopher Lee's Charlemagne.

-Jackson gives Zade a kiss goodbye on the cheek as they leave. move has been made. how will Mac counter?

-add another tally for the casually bigoted language as Tad felt cheated out of a kiss from Jackson and used a word derived from the g slur to express this.

-add another tally to Tad's "If I Wasn't A Married Man" counter as well.

-Mac gives Tad a "one-armed guy hug" and Zade gives Tad a "real hug." The Straights Are Not Okay.

-Mac invites Zade to go riding with him on their motorcycles, and she accepts. she also tells us she feels like she's being fought over. that, to me, tells me that Zade wants the same thing for herself from her relationships. she doesn't want Mac or Jackson because of who they are; she wants them because they want her. so I guess at least she's on even ground with this? she may want people as objects, but she also wants to be wanted the same way, so at least it's equal? but man, that is shallow.

-it starts raining on their ride, so they have to pull over and take shelter under an awning at a closed convenience store. the two huddle close, both thinking about the relationship we didn't get to see, and Mac straight up grabs Zade and kisses her. damn, chief.

-oh geez we're talking make out with tongue. (this is not where that line is btw. I intend to provide photographic evidence of that when I reach it.) which, ew, he was just smoking.

-well, I'll give Mac this: REO Speedwagon's a good band to listen to.

-they keep kissing for a while before we pretty much get a smash cut to the next day with Zade shopping at the mall. holy whiplash, Batman! put a pin in this because believe it or not we ARE going to come back to that scene. jesus, the chronological mess of this.

-Zade is at a girlie shop buying girlie things because she wants to look hot for Mac and Jackson. she's shopping by herself because she doesn't like girlie things and thus doesn't want to do this with other girls? the hypocrisy is something to be sure.

-she gets chatty with the clerk working there who, like all characters in a mary sue story, is sycophantic to the max, to the point that she asks Zade to come back and update her on how things go.

-you guys need to see this continuity error for yourselves:

"I settled on the second of the final two dresses she brought me, a tight-fitting dark blue option that hugged me in all the right places. She was right about it being made for my kind of shape. I had a fun brown leather jacket and heeled low-cut leather boots that would offset the black dress nicely..."

so I'm assuming the dress looks like this:

and with that I gotta get back to work!

[zoueriemandzijnopmars]

The Top2000 voting week has started so that means it's time for my yearly call to vote for Oya Lélé by K3 in the Top2000, Spotify might ignore K3 in their wrapped lists but that doesn't mean the Top2000 should too!

Because I hope people will spread this around (and I decided to blaze it), some further clarification below the cut:

Questions I can imagine people are asking:

What is the Top2000?

The Top2000 is a list of the 2000 best songs ever according to the Dutch public/listeners of NPO radio 2/anyone who wants to vote. It has been going since this millennium and is always broadcast from Christmas to New Year's Eve, with the top song being played just before midnight. (The top song has been Bohemian Rhapsody in 18 of the 23 editions). See Wikipedia for more information

What is K3?

K3 is a Belgian(/part Dutch since 2009) girl band aimed at children, they have some very good songs in my opinion, but they have never been in the Top2000 which I think is a crime, because some songs are definitely better or at least as good than some songs that have made the list (looking at Normaal and the Pokemon theme song). Also I'm pretty sure most Dutch (and Flemish) people will be able to sing along to at least 1 K3 song.

Why Oya Lélé?

Because we need to all vote for one song to make a chance, and I think Oya Lélé might be the most `K3' song of all. Other songs I considered are Alle Kleuren and Heyah Mama, but in the end I think Oya Lélé makes a bigger chance. It's also the K3 song that stayed in the Dutch top 40 the longest. (Though the Alle Kleuren album was a bigger success tbh) In the end it's mainly because I can only campaign for one song, and Oya Lélé just screams K3 to me. (And newer 'very much K3' songs like 10000 luchtballonnen and Mamasé make less chance because people have less nostalgia for them.

What is this thing about Spotify?

For 2 years in a row now Spotify has not shown any K3 song in my wrapped playlist, even though I requested my data last year and K3 was by far my most popular artist. I am not the only person this happened to (see this tweet for example) even this year after I contacted customer service about it last year (it was a whole project). They did not seem to understand my problem, so I will have to do it again once I got my data from this year.

Okay so how do I vote?

You can vote here! It's all in Dutch obviously but you do not have to be Dutch in order to vote and I think it's all pretty clear. You must vote for 5 songs minimum and 35 maximum. Oya Lélé is not a preset option in the list, but you can manually add it after you searched for it. Fill in K3 in the first field and Oya Lélé in the second field. If you need further inspiration for what to vote for Heyah Mama is somehow a preset option, and you can just browse the list.

[black-arcana]

Epica's Simone Simons: "I've been called the metal Barbie, but I don't give a damn"

Simone Simons talks Disney covers, pastafarianism and how Epica worked out their collaborative EP The Alchemy Project.

(Image credit: Tim Tronckoe)

For 20 years, Epica have been flying the flag for bombastic, extravagant symphonic metal, with the visuals and ambition to match. Their new collaborative EP, The Alchemy Project – featuring the likes of Myrkur, Fleshgod Apocalypse and members of Soilwork and Kamelot – is possibly their most ambitious work to date. 

We put your questions to singer Simone Simons on what it was like working with Uriah Heep, playing shows in Mayan ruins and that time she (almost) joined a black metal band. 

Wikipedia says you joined a black metal band for a cup of coffee before you became a member of Epica. If true, what was that band like? How was your corpsepaint game? Matt Mills, Twitter 

“Wikipedia is wrong! I never joined a black metal band. I was just there during a rehearsal, but never actually sang in the band. I went there to have a look, so it’s a half-truth, I guess. They were in my hometown and my friend’s boyfriend was playing in that band, so that’s why we went, but I was way too shy to sing along. Epica was my true first band.” 

How did the band initially meet? Scott Thrower, Facebook 

“I knew Mark [Jansen, guitars/vocals] because I was in a relationship with him back in the day. He started a new band [after leaving After Forever] pretty quickly, but because I was his girlfriend, at first I didn’t want to join. I helped them search for a singer. I thought I should do it by the book – finish high school and then go explore the world with a metal band. But when they asked me if I wanted to [sing for them], I thought, ‘OK, let’s just give it a go.’ And here we are, 20 years later!” 

Was there ever an aesthetic pressure to fit into the more gothic side of symphonic metal? Jazmin L’Amy, email “Not really, I’ve always done my own thing. I’ve enjoyed the visual aspect of being in the band, getting ready for the show, designing the clothes and everything like that. I’ve been called the metal Barbie, but I don’t give a damn. It’s more like a compliment than people realise! The aesthetics are a big part of our shows, photoshoots and videoshoots that people don’t really think of, and it’s a lot of fun to do it.” 

Consign To Oblivion is one of my alltime favourite records. Have you ever visited a Mayan ruin, and would you do a 20th-anniversary gig from one? Jo Cristobal, email 

“I think Mark did, I didn’t. Playing a show from one is probably going to be a little bit tricky with electricity and everything, so… ha ha! Maybe just an acoustic song or something like that! But Mark’s visited some ancient Mayan sites in Mexico – he was also the one who was interested in ancient Mayan culture and wrote lyrics about it.”

What topics would you like to explore in the future when writing new music Arley Rosales, Facebook 

“I don’t think too much about it. I just go with the spur of the moment: what’s happening in my life, what’s happening around the world… [2021’s] Omega was a very spiritual album, which was also a reflection of what was happening at that time. So I guess [our new music] is just going to be a continuation of that.” 

Epica albums often have a central concept or overarching narrative, like [2007’s] The Divine Conspiracy. What’s the most innocuous conspiracy theory you think might actually be true? Dan Hillier, Facebook 

“I’ve no idea! I’ve been off the religion train for a long time and unfortunately only had unpleasant experiences. I’m in no way anti-religion, though. The Divine Conspiracy was more about extremities within religion – the dangerous parts where they really indoctrinate people and put really weird ideas in their head. 

Religion can be a beautiful thing, but a lot of bloodshed has been in its name. With that album, we picked different extremities within different religions to highlight what’s been going on and what’s still going on. But yeah, it can be very dangerous, as we’ve seen lately.”

Hammer: is there one outside of religion you like? 

“The church of the spaghetti monster… what’s that called?” 

Hammer: The Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. 

“Yeah, I love spaghetti. So I guess I’m not allowed to enter that church. Maybe I’m the spaghetti monster! Ha ha ha!"

The Skeleton Key encapsulated all that defines Epica as EPIC! What was the idea behind the song? Inn Ayyur, Twitter 

“Skeleton Key was written by Rob [van der Loo, bass], and the working title of it was ‘Inception’. Rob is a huge movie soundtrack fan; I am too. He showed me the song during our writing sessions for Omega and the lyrics written by myself are basically that everybody holds the key or the answers to the questions that you have within yourself and that you can unlock different rooms and hallways within yourself. On the one hand, that can be a good thing, but it can also be bad because you also have the power to let your demons free.” 

What songs from recent movie soundtracks would you play live? Mark Sayce, email 

“We’ve done that in the past with [2009 live album] The Classical Conspiracy and, funnily enough, today I was singing some Disney songs. I’ve done a cover of a Disney song from The Little Mermaid [Part Of Your World, released in 2021]. Maybe something else is gonna come up, you never know!” 

Where did the idea to do The Alchemy Project come from? Jac Holloway, Facebook 

“The idea was from Isaac [Delahaye, guitar/backing vocals]. At the beginning of the pandemic, he had the idea of writing songs with our friends in the metal scene. We reached out to all our friends who’d be interested, and that’s literally how the ball started rolling. It’s cool when you have this idea and you don’t know if it’s gonna work, because this is a little bit outside of our comfort zone. I think a lot of people will be very surprised with some of the songs that are on this EP.” 

How did you get Uriah Heep on the EP? Elliot Grimmie, email 

“Epica always like to add a couple of elements of surprise. That was also part of the idea behind this EP – that we could experiment! Rob has connections to a lot of musicians that are not necessarily in the symphonic metal scene, and Wake The World was one of the songs we started working on when we first had the idea, but didn’t really push the project through. 

So that song was one of the first we started with. I rewrote it to fit the vocal lines, but had the idea of what Phil [Lanzon, Uriah Heep keyboardist/co-vocalist] wanted to say in the back of my mind. It’s a really cool addition having him there.” 

What was your favourite bit about working on The Alchemy Project? Paul Baptist, email 

“I wrote a song with Charlotte [Wessels, ex-Delain vocalist] and I had a lot more input in the composition compared to what I normally do when writing for Epica. This time, I got to direct the song and it was really nice to work with Charlotte. She’s been putting out some great work recently since she started her Patreon and I really love her solo songs. 

We started going through ideas that she’d accumulated and I picked the melodies that she had lying around for Sirens - Of Blood And Water. We worked on that for almost a year, but working together was great. I was in her studio, she was in my studio, so it was a really intense writing session for this song and I really love how it turned out.” 

Who is on your bucket list to collaborate with? Lisa Aliss, Facebook 

“There are a lot of artists! I really like Aurora. She’s a Norwegian singer/ songwriter who writes beautiful songs and has a really beautiful voice – I think we could be a good match. I would also like to work with Rammstein one day – that’s on the bucket list.” 

Could you ever see Epica doing an arena headline tour? Emmy Willets, email 

“Maybe. I went to see Iron Maiden with Within Temptation and it was amazing. I prefer doing smaller shows because the interaction with the audience is just different and it just feels more cosy and intimate than an arena. Who knows, though. Maybe someday!”

[very-grownup]

Book 15, 2024

There's something about an older paperback fantasy trilogy that can feel so ballsy when considering the current state of fantasy publishing, although maybe the main thing is how they can easily fit into a jacket pocket.

Patricia A. McKillip's "The Riddle-Master of Hed" is fascinating in the reminder of what a lie the gritty adultification of the fantasy genre is (we all know the direction I am looking in).

One of those loosely Celtic fantasies, "The Riddle-Master of Hed" is much like the later works of McKillip's that I've read in that McKillip has no interest in infodumping or taking the time to explain the world to the reader. Pick it up from context clues, you're here for a /story/. Let the first line of the wikipedia plot summary act as an example:

"The titular Riddle-Master is Morgon, the Prince of Hed, a small, simple island populated by farmers and swineherds. The prince, inexplicably, has three stars on his forehead."

What's a Riddle-Master? OBVIOUSLY IT IS SOMEONE WHO IS REALLY GOOD AT RIDDLES AND KNOWS THE SORT OF THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ANSWER RIDDLES. What are riddles? MOTHERFUCKER YOU KNOW WHAT RIDDLES ARE. It doesn't take long to pick up that a Riddle-Master is a highly educated scholar, a fantasy philosopher, and Morgon's a really good one. You learn that "Prince" doesn't mean "Son of a King", it's a title in and of itself that involves a spiritual connection to the land he's prince of (Hed). The stars? THEY'RE INEXPLICABLE you and Morgon know they're probably some kind of omen or mark of Chosen Oneness because you've read a book before and so has Morgon, they're just a signifier.

Before the start of the book, Morgon won a riddle-game with a curse ghost king and now has technically won the hand of the second most beautiful woman in the world but he's kind of embarrassed about the whole thing. Deth, a wandering harpist and messenger of the High One (God?), jostles Morgon into leaving Hed to pursue this and thus begins a novel that is entirely a Hero Trying to Refuse the Call. Morgon just wants to Go Home; this man has no great longing for something more than his little farm island and pigs and beer and maybe doing riddles but in a casual way, not in a inadvertently uncovering the secrets of the universe way.

There is a shipwreck, there are shapeshifters, there is amnesia and mysterious relic cities from when there were Sorcerers, people with pasts too long for their ages, foresty warrior women, dreams full of hidden knowledge, a legendary sword, an unplayable harp. It's a series of fantasy incidents that seem to only be connected by the fact that they keep happening to Morgon.

As I have also found with McKillip's writing, there's a dreamy, soft quality to everything that pulls you along gently. "The Riddle-Master of Hed" is not a page-turner, it's almost cozy.

And terrible things happen. The ending is startlingly bleak without fanfare. If you read "The Riddle-Master of Hed" as a standalone novel, it would be like playing a videogame with bad end possibilities and then leaving it there. It doesn't feel like a cliffhanger, possibly because of the quiet quality of McKillip's prose, possibly because of the fairytale elements in the style of McKillip's storytelling.

My only real complaint? One of the land rulers Morgon encounters in his journey is called the Morgol. Ms. McKillip, please, don't give me Morgon and the Morgol in the same book. Don't do that to me.

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Hello there! May I have Germany, England, and France with S/O who can be intimidating like Jade West (when Angered, they can be really violent and sadistic) but deep down they are actually caring and kind). They are being tough is actually a facade to protect themselves from as*holes.

Reader is going to be a nation in this, since I feel it makes the most sense for the scenario given.

Edits Made: 12 Dec 2022 spotted redundancies.

Also I’ve never watched Victorious so I’m sorry if the character traits you’re looking for may be off or absent. I really tried for a badass who takes shit from no one but has a heart of gold. But, I did read a Wikipedia page and watched one video to help me out with writing this. So yeah, enjoy lol.

TW: it’s a slight gore and blood is mentioned and there is cursing.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Arthur is a global superpower and that means he has had to become a gentleman who

can play rough when you have other opponents, pee-ons, and pawns all the while putting on a show of chivalry.

Originally you were a pawn of his that he intended on using during the midst of rising tensions between you and America on the brink of another proxy-war that would drag you and a few other smaller nations into their conflict.

You’re a medium sized nation with a major hand in the diamond business. Your nation is world famous for some of its creations such as designing and providing the crowning jewels for the Royal family for a few centuries. Along with the other royalty, dignitaries, diplomats, and celebrities. You really knew how to dazzle the upper echelons of society. Which is why to England you were a pawn considering you filled in orders for a lot of America’s top 1%. Which meant people in power would be angry if suddenly the main supplier of 60% of all the world's finest gems was annexed by the U.K. a ruthless negotiator that always managed to steal the finest trade deals for his own benefit.

Your other fortes involved innovative energy technology. Which is a growing industry worldwide and makes you and your nation much more of a valued commodity. That America and England WILL fight over to dominate you. Which is why England used his influence: social media campaigns boasting about the great diplomatic relations he has with you. It gets to a point where he is broadcasting almost daily about the special relationship that he has with you to a point where America notices and tries to pay back in kind.

“(Country name) has been invited to the Senate and Congress to discuss some legislation ….” England overheard America’s boss blather on and on about connecting ties and possibly working on some projects in the future. He sat in his study and gritted his teeth and he turned the television off and threw the remote to the other side of the room.

“Bloody bastard. He really needs to learn when not to mess around with other people’s things.” He reached for his phone and he didn't want to let you slip away. Two rings pierced his eardrum before you answered on the other end.

“Y/N it’s Arthur, I wanted to inquire about….” For some reason he hesitates to speak out the words that he actually wants to say. You break the train of thought he had going where it was trying to speed for honesty and stop at the heart of the situation.

“The bullshit show that America is putting on? I’m not amused and I’m going to be ignoring him. Because that’s what I know what's on your mind.” Ice filled your vocal cords. You didn’t need multiple superpowers meddling in your domestic affairs trying to dominate.

“How did you-” Trying to get coal back in to fire up the engines once again. But he moved too slow to deter you from continuing.

“The two of you are aggressive superpowers. Of course. Anyways I’m busy. I have a four eyed moron to keep at bay and prevent him from dragging me to his country for ‘negotiations’ and ‘offerings’. And just so you know now: I don’t want yours either.” Without another word you promptly hang up the phone not really giving Arthur a chance to even state his concerns. You knew he would be a pain in your side too if you didn’t distance yourself.

Arthur swallows his pride. He was actually going to be vulnerable in order to get what he wanted this time.

“Bloody hell.”

After two weeks of sleepless nights on England's end on how he can vocalize his feelings without having to use his power. Which he is accustomed to doing and it came naturally for him. That was a tactic he knew worked well. However he knew that would get him shot and leave your home with a few broken bones. At 3am on a Friday he decided to write it out, pick up some doves, and take a small private jet to (Country Name).

When he arrived in your land and laid down his heart and put up his hands when he was greeted by you with a pistol along with your guards.

“You’ve got 10 seconds to explain yourself when I explicitly told you I wanted nothing to do with you.” Your index finger is itching to pull the trigger to send a resounding message that you don’t fuck with (country name) and come out unscathed.

“Y/N please, love , listen. This isn’t about some petty proxy war between America and I…”

Your eyebrow raises with your finger lightly tugging down on the trigger.

“I love you actually.”

🇫🇷 France 🇫🇷

As an international fashion icon France was never really on your radar. You regarded him as nothing more than an acquaintance that was flashy. He sometimes wanted to be ‘friends’ with and/or mentor you as a fellow flourishing country. You simply brushed him off in the past and shot him a dirty look whenever he approached you. You were not amused by his antics.

However, France does not surrender when it comes to romance and he was determined to not let you become an exception to that. He didn’t. But it did mean that he’s been slapped, tripped down the stairs, nearly getting caught in the crosshairs of your flame thrower, and on Halloween you nearly decapitated him before he got a little too fresh with you.

“Your determination is really beginning to annoy me. Do you have a death wish of sorts? Because I’d be happy to oblige with your immediate execution.” You were currently wielding a battle ax that was polished and sharpened. It’s cool metal being graced by the bright sun rays piercing Francis’ precious baby blues.

‘Damn she really is ruthless.’

“Y/N listen. I know that… you have this whole stubborn facade going on for you but, I’m not trying to harm you or play with you, toy with your feelings or any of that….” His voice trails off into the frigid air that surrounds you. He drew in slow concentrated breaths and was trying not to choke on his words. That was a difficult task when your icy gaze pelted him with icicles. Your sustained silence allowed him to continue with a quaking voice. You were interested in what pathetic pleas he’ll hit you with.

“I just want to be nothing but good to you. Admire you. And have you in my arms each day when the sun fades.”

Stars, roses, and hearts were the only things you could concentrate on as it was the only things that filled your vision as you concentrated on the French man that was pouring his heart out to you. Thornless scarlet roses sprouted from his hands and a soft golden glow came from his heart. God was on Francis’ side this time. Time seemed to be frozen as a gold arrow was given to him with a sharp heart tip.

*God appears out of the deep blue hues of the sky with an elegant angelic bow that looks as if it was made from pure white feathers.*

“Take this my child. You’ll need to get through the thorny barricade that is her way of guarding her heart.”

Francis wipes a few tears from his eyes as he looks at you and your guards frozen in place. You looked like a terrifying goddess that he’d be a devoted follower of.

“Thanks, God.” He stands to his feet with pure determination and readies himself with the bow and arrow aimed directly at your heart. He sucks in a sharp breath and holds it to steady his aim. The twang of the arrow launching itself from the bow filled his eardrums. As it did so the bow poofed into a flurry of pearly iridescent feathers that swirled around him.

When Francis looked in your direction again your eyes had a far softer expression than the vicious scowl that you were wearing before. A light smile graced your lips instead as your eyes made contact with those azure irises.

‘Ah that smile of hers. I feel so many butterflies everytime.’

“I’m sorry Francis. What were we trying to discuss? I’ve lost my train of thought.”

Your life together is relatively peaceful for being nations. Ever since France started dating you he has been less inclined to fight Britain. Not just in wars, but even politically. He doesn’t even bother to try and clap back when Britain begins spouting nonsense about him on Social Media. He ignores it all because his moon was all that he needed.

However if anyone dare to be a dickhead to Francis, they’re in for a real bad time.

If France ever comes home to you and passively talks about someone being a bigot, or threatens him oh …. I’d be praying to God.

“I’m sorry that happened to you honey. How can I make it better?” As you place a kiss on his forehead after you swept some of his luscious locks from his face.

“Nothing my love. I just hate their behavior, that's all. No need to break some nation's neck, or castrate, or any of the mischievous things you do.” A massive cocky smirk spreads wide and long on the Frenchman's face as he pulls you closer to him by grabbing your waist as he looks up at you. A deliciously vexatious grin is on your face as he sees the fire alight in your eyes. Someone goin die tonight.

“Okay.” Confirming you heard him but you weren’t going to listen. There was hell to pay.

You’re extremely protective of Francis. You burn those with callous words with aerosol and flames. To those who lay their hands on him in a brutal way, you end their bloodline. If it’s a nation that wants to be in a war you join in with him and become his sole support.

🇩🇪 Germany 🇩🇪

As Germany was sitting on the bench press his attention wandered over to you lifting weights. You were doing weighted squats. You were fully immersed in the moment and you made your muscles work in unison. You concentrated on making sure your moments were precise so that you would have well defined muscles. You enjoyed the heat of battle on occasion but you did also love your peace and the ability to work on other more productive things than war.

Ludwig’ s mind meandered to how he actually managed to convince you to not continue with your plans to torment him and force him to reincarnate painfully.

“I’ve told you a dozen times: DON’T. CROSS. ONTO. MY. BORDERS. I’m classified as a reclusive nation for A REASON. And I’m stunned that out of all the nations YOU don’t get that.” You were barring your fangs and your voice was raised. You hated this man for invading (country name). You thought he of all people would have enough common sense not to bug you. I mean rules and regulations are his thing. But here he is in the forest caught in a bear trap that was hidden well.

“Ja. Ja. I know zhat. Ho-” You lean down over him making sure that your face aligned up with his. It was intimidating to the German and he wondered why in hell he decided to follow his bashful heart and didn’t follow his grounded mind.

“Then if you do…..WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?” Ludwig flenched. He wasn’t used to being dominated by another nation. What made it worse is that his emotions were trying to figure out why sparks had hit his heart, his stomach felt airy, and his neither region felt stiff and was expanding. His brain wasn’t really able to come up with a plan that was feasible.

‘So this is what it feels like to be the unter Hund. I might have some apologizing to Italy to do once I reincarnate.’

“I… just.. Verdammit. …. Look I….” Ludwig was tripping over his words as he did his best to evade your piercing gaze that made all of the side effects of his emotions worse. He began to squirm a little and you stabbed your spear in the middle of his abdomen. You took pleasure in his pained grunt he let out.

‘Oh so he’s used to or has been trained to tolerate intense pain. Interesting. I wonder how much farther I can push this. However, Germany can’t be that stupid. Can he?’

Sucking in a sharp breath so he could force out his words.

“Okay…” Ludwig coughs up a little blood. “I deserved that. I should have at the very least sent jou a notice. But, I didn't, I'm sorry.” You didn’t respond, you simply stood over him expectantly. More coaxing with pain was no longer necessary. Crimson continued to spill from his mouth in massive gobs. “I ….” Trying to maintain himself from passing out. However that wasn’t an option. His vision became unfocused. Your pristine face no longer had a scowl but one of concern. Ludwig promptly passes out.

You let out a long sigh that filled the forest air. “Dammit. I have to help him revive or the international community will label me as the bad guy.” You grab your phone and send a mass message to your top surgeons and health care team. You knew you were going to have to kiss up to Germany if you didn’t want other bigger nations to condemn you and possibly invade (country name).

Germany came to a sterile hospital room that only he, two nurses, and Y/N were there, waiting for him to become conscious again. He avoids looking at Y/N for fear she may just get angry with him again.

You swallow your pride and disgust and finally break the constricting silence that was suffocating.

“So, you were saying? About why you were here.” Your leg was crossed over the other with arms crossed. It was like you were a teenager that had to admit that they were wrong and the realization of it was a difficult pill to swallow. Your eyes glazed over his muscular form and you noticed all of the minor injuries: cuts, bruises, and a broken left arm. But your facial expression was still stony and stoic.

“Oh ja, right uhhhhhh…..” His brain and heart still couldn’t get it together.

Ludwig’s cherry red cheeks gave away his motives that weren't hard for Y/N to pick up on.

Y/N rolls her eyes with mild amusement at the dangerous stunt he pulled.

“Look, let's just get you back to your country and agree that you won’t tell others.”

“On one condition leibling.”

Germany uses his persuasion to get you to consider letting him stay so that the two of you could get to know each other and maybe have a decent working relationship. You hesitate and Germany is persistent and eventually he convinces you to be in a relationship with him. Tying your nations relations together.

As a couple the two of you enjoy having routines together. You exercise together, train, and have weekly Wednesday and Saturday movie nights. You never expected that you could get along with a stoic work-o-holic like Ludwig but you found that he did have appeal attributes.

Alright I tried with this one lol. I’m sorry if it wasn’t what you were looking for.

[leseigneurdufeu]

Can you please when you have time ofc, write a list of the books any French high-school graduate should have read? Like the baccalaureate curriculum for example. I'm seeking to catch up my general knowledge of universal literature + attempt to read directly in French

Sure!

Now curriculum may vary and there was a reform of education since I left high school so it might have changed but what any french graduate should have read: (authors in bold, titles in italics)

Poetry (middle ages and early Renaissance):

Any three poems from Joachim du Bellay or other poets from the Pleiade. Most important is Heureux qui comme Ulysse.

Also look up who the Pleiade were.

16th and 17th centuries novels:

La Princesse de Montpensier, by Madame de Lafayette. 90 pages but very, very antiquated language.

Gargantua, by Rabelais. It's NOT cheating to take the modern-french translation. Native speakers do it. It's not cheating either to just dump it half-way through because you don't understand half of it. Native speakers do it too.

La Belle et la Bête, by Madame Leprince de Beaumont.

Any fairy tale by Perrault.

Les Liaisons Dangereuses, by Choderlos de Laclos. Please. Do. Not. Read. It. It's awful, the protagonist rapes a 15yo girl but it's ok because him loving her is making him into a better person (Yikes), the whole thing is about the protagonist and his long-time on-and-off girlfriend (who's married to someone else) teaming up to dirty/perverse two (maybe three?) innocent young ladies. It's studied because it's a classics, not because it's good. Please. Don't subject yourself to it.

Les Lettres Persannes, by Montesquieu. letters from a bunch of fictional characters to the others, two iranians (but at the time Iran was called Perse) visit France and criticize everything (way for Montesquieu to criticize but be able to say "nah it's my characters saying that not me"). TW of suicide and incest iirc. Not something too graphic either, since it's always second-hand testimonies or third-hand.

Theatre of the 17th and 18th centuries:

Le Cid, by Pierre Corneille.

At least one play by Molière. Can't recommand because I don't remember much of it. Do read summaries for a few of his plays though because some characters names have passed into common language to mean the type of characters they were (a Harpagon is going to be a greedy man, a Tartuffe a guy pretending to be devoted but being a hypocrite...)

Le Mariage de Figaro, by Beaumarchais. It's a political satire but also people are jumping from the window so that the husband doesn't find them in the lady's room. Basically.

If you fell in love with theatre at that point, you can look up Racine but fair warning, all of those have old language but Racine (along with Corneille) have very old language.

19th century novel:

Short version of Les Misérables, by Victor Hugo. I'd recommand the long one but only the short one is required and also the long one has 40 pages of description of the parisian sewers system with no relevance at all to the story and that's not the only long digression so... Do what you want.

A book by Honoré de Balzac, whichever you'd want. If you want to read the whole series, it might be best to look up the order on wikipedia, they'll know better than me. Basically him and the next author on the list had a bibliographic universe before Marvel made it cool. 60-or-so books with common characters but not the same protagonists. I'd recommand you simply go with Le Lys de la Vallée, slightly royalist and apparently the easiest to read? (so i've been told but i didn't read it myself so...)

Any book by Emile Zola. I'd recommand Au bonheur des dames because it has to be the only one with a happy ending and a cute romance out of the 40-and-more books by Zola.

Bel-Ami, by Guy de Maupassant. The protagonist has no morals but it's funny. Kinda.

Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert. A tad bit depressing. Not the most interesting either. But it's one of the few that have been studied more than once in my schooling so I know it's an important one.

19th century theatre:

Hernani, a play by Victor Hugo. Tragedy, so a bit sad. But do look up the Battle of Hernani (sorry there's not a big choice of languages for this one on wikipedia). Basically founded the french romantic genre. Quite a scandal.

If per chance Hernani was love at first reading for you, you might also like Ruy Blas, still Hugo, although i found it a bit less good. If you want a ridiculously overdramatic, over-the-top movie freely inspired by Ruy Blas but in which no one dies, you've got La Folie des Grandeurs, a comedy with Louis de Funès.

Cyrano de Bergerac, by Edmond Rostand, and if the style of the author makes you want to read more, go for l'Aiglon, which is about Napoleon's son but is a bit sadder.

19th century poetry:

Les fleurs du mal by Baudelaire. Awful. Simply awful. I mean you can try a few. I hated them all. Not necessary to have read all of them by any mean.

20th century:

A Ionesco play, either La Cantatrice Chauve or Rhinoceros, for the Theatre de l'Absurde. La Cantatrice Chauve is funnier I think.

Actually I won't give you any novels from that century because most of the ones studied suck and also it's for post-bac (after graduation) studies so it doesn't fall under the ask.

Now if I had to give you a few classics to read, what I'd recommand:

Les Trois Mousquetaires, by Alexandre Dumas.

Le Comte de Monte-Cristo, (ibidem). Luckily this one is on substack format at the cristo account.

Notre-Dame de Paris, by Victor Hugo.

I think that's all. If you've got any more questions, about books or about whether or not it's worth reading That Book instead of watching an adaptation or reading a summary, or which adaptation of, for example, Les Miserables, is the best, I'm here to answer them.

[hekaates]

open letter to ems (part ii) — @officialjimmybuffet

Hey bitch. Happy birthday

First time it’s just a letter, second it’s a pattern, how long until it counts as tradition?

Maybe it’s weird but I started to write this letter on December 13th, 2022. 179 days until your birthday but I felt the need to start writing this, felt the need to put my sentiments into words.

Yesterday I sent you 18 audios, several minutes each of course, explaining you in deep detail the plot of the first Avatar movie. I watched it alone after my mom went to sleep and to be frank Im kind of glad she did or else she’ll catch me crying over the scenery of a planet that doesn’t exist, from a movie that I’m pretty sure doesn’t pass the Belchdel test (update: it does not, everything is about Jake Sully and his terrible habits). It’s sitting in the bathroom floor all alone, waiting for people to stop screaming at each other that makes me realize how much I needed you in my life, how much I need, and will need someone who understands and compliments (as in complementary) me as well as you do. I like Avatar because I’m insane, but also because I see someone so lost and so insane in their own world they have to go literally to another planet to find a home, because somehow they do and I think, fuck maybe I could to. Looking back at it, the fact Jakes best friend is a short haired ginger scientist (healthcare science is a science right?) might make it even more close to home. (I hope in the end of this story, I don’t turn blue and you die and come back reincarnated as my daughter, but if you do it’d be hilarious and pretty on brand for us).

Everytime I remember you exist I am no longer alone. One time we were talking about the saints (this phrase in itself explains our relationship better than any other thing I can say here) and we said: I’d pick your saint if you pick mine. I remember the first time I wrote it, I looked at the screen, I looked at me and I looked at you (the only way I can, deep inside my mind) and I realize that with no other person this sentiment would make sense, no other person could I send a message at 22h explaining the in-depth history of Brazilian reality shows and make it so that I’m not insane or annoying or terrible, no other person would I search the deep webs of Wikipedia to find out what Saint was killed on June 10 (ps. It’s Saint Olivia, that’s my sisters name).

Saint Emma is the keeper of pharmacy, Saint Luisa the keeper of grief, somewhere along the lines God made it so we can meet and this would make a little bit too much sense.

I want to thank you for always holding my hand, even if have never touched, even if we never do. Times passed, I forget to write and now your birthday is in 4 days and now it is in 2 days and I find myself plagued by a loneliness only you can fill (I think this is the gayest sentence I’ve ever wrote and that’s saying something). Right now I look at the sun and it’s 4pm here so it means that in the other side of the world it’s 3pm and you are looking at the same sun, as the sunlight burns the right side of my face I can’t help but wonder if right now, in the other side of the hemisphere, it burns the left side of your face, that in the sunlight our faces meet and become one (again, really going for the gayness vibe rn).

The only future I am content with is the one I have you by my side, it’s the one I can call you to spend christmas with my family be it next to a British young star celebrity or not (but like if god wants him to spend several christmases with me then like I can’t say no right that’s on God not me right anyways I’m getting of track-) In the good ending it’s Christmas afternoon and I’m sitting by the pool showing you how to open an earl fruit or a persimmon while my siblings play with the speaker. In the good ending we’re in a club in New Jersey and I have no idea how to order a drink, in the good ending, when the movie is about to be done I grab your hand and say “hey.”

So, yeah.

Hey.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Elisabeth Kaiserin von Österreich (1972) [Elisabeth Empress of Austria]

This was kind of a weird one, but I really liked it!

The thing that was weird was that this felt way more like a documentary than a film, even though Wikipedia specifically lists it as a film on Elisabeth's page and not in the section with the documentaries, which is why it ended up on my list of Sissi-media, but it doesnt really feel enough like a documentary for me to call it that. Like, it has these sections with narration over montages of paintings and historical photographs where its just some guy recounting various battles and political decrees and what people at the time thought of them, but it also has actors playing Elisabeth, Franz Joseph and everyone else whos relevant in scenes that dont really feel like reenactments, its kinda weird, Ive never seen anything like this. The ending credits call it a 'Dokumentarspiel' which means something along the lines of 'dramatized documentary', and I think that's a very fitting term for it.

Because of that, it didnt really have much of a story and I feel like I cant really talk about this film the way I talked about the others. Like, it's basically just sober recountings of major historical events interspersed with somewhat relevant anecdotes from Elisabeth's life and then towards the end we get less of the historical events as she withdrew from politics and public life, and it doesnt really elicit a lot of emotion from me, which is what I prefer. But I mean, I thought it engaging and that it painted a very interesting picture of Elisabeth. And it was nice getting some actual information for once, Ive mentioned before that I really dont know anything about history and Ive been trying to steer clear of treating anything that's portrayed in any of these films as factual because obviously the people making them are going to take creative liberties for the sake of making a cohesive story, but it doesnt seem like that was the case here. It really makes me want to watch more documentaries, I think I might do something something similar to this project in the future, where I look for a bunch of documentaries and watch them in chronological order, that could be interesting. I probably wouldnt write reviews for those though

Anyway, lets talk about the other stuff. The editing was mostly fine, it was just a bit weird during some of the historical events-segments but it wasnt a big deal. The pacing was good too, given that there wasnt much of a story or a throughline (other than Elisabeth as a person i guess) I think it could have become meandering and feel like a bit of a drag, but it didnt. Although to be fair, this film was on the shorter side, its only 80 minutes. The only part that really dragged on was the scene of Elisabeth and Franz Joseph being crowmed king and queen of Hungary, they show the whole slow ceremony and it was very boring.

And if I'm already talking about scenes that kinda bother me, Elisabeth's assassination was very strange. Like, it shows her and Lucheni walking toward each other at the docks in geneva and it keeps cutting back and forth between them as they both walk at a brisk but measured pace, until he suddenly starts running and then he kindof skids to a halt on his knees right in front of her and quickly stabs her before running off. Elisabeth doesnt really react and the woman who's with her is like "oh no, what happened, are you hurt" but she says it in such a mild way, they straightup did not notice that she got stabbed. So yeah, Elisabeth tells her that everything is fine, shes just a bit shocked and she thinks that guy just puched hef, and she just. keeps walking. The woman is like "are you really sure youre not hurt" and she goes "ah, you know, now that you mention it, I guess Im in a little bit of pain" and she starts trailing off and then collapses. So thats it. Im guessing this was based on like, the real life testimony of the woman who was with her and eye witness reports and all that but still, what a series of events huh.

And last but not least, the actors were all okay. I think they couldve all been better but they werent bad or anything. I will say though, something about Marisa Mell as Elisabeth bothered me, I think its the fact that they start this film off with a bunch of paintings and photographs of her and then Marisa Mell just looks nothing like her. Especially when you compare that to how Peter Fröhlich actually does look quite a bit like Franz Joseph does in the paintings, just less prettyboy-ey and also hid eyes arent so blue and scary. And I mean, the actresses they get to play Elisabeth rarely look like her because they usually just cast generally attractive women with brown hair because yknow, she was supposed to be incredibly beautiful but the beauty standards have changed a lot since then and are shifting, but still.

Anyway, that's it. I didnt want to watch any documentaries as part of this little project, I wanted to focus on the media thats purely fictional, for lack of a better term, but this was a very good one and Im glad I ended up seeing it

[fuckinorangecat]

part 2

Abysmal. There is a character limit, I can't believe this madness. Anyway.

We walked through a bunch of claw machine/gatcha shops and played a little bit. It was nice and I saw a very dedicated lady trying her absolutely hardest trying to get a golden kamuy figurine. She got it in the end, I was so happy for her. I was gonna attempt myself and if I got it I would've given it to her. She looked so close to giving up. Ahh, human perseverance. After that we got tired and went to a cafe where we waited for another addition to the party. A scottish JET, we outnumbered the American 3:1, fuck yeah. After meeting up with walked around further and went to a retro game store called Super potato or some shit. It was actually really cool lol, they had a claw machine for random ds/psp games and just a bunch of niche but cool japanese titles that we never saw in the west. One day I'll be able to read and play them properly. After that we found a fucking kebab stand, me and the friend I was staying with went ballistic, much to the american's confusion. Also the way americans say kebab is hilarious lol. We instantly buy some wraps and devour them, although it made me sad because it didn't hit the same as home. Guess it'll never be the same. Straight after I bought takoyaki, it was a very fat day but we walked like 30,000 steps by the end of the day so it should be fine - plus im on holiday. I'm not actually the biggest fan of takoyaki btw, too fucking heavy of a food. It's like eating a small rock every ball. After that we decide to find an izakaya and wind down. We find a place with outdoor seating and a perfect 6 seats, we were expecting two more JETs. Two more americans which unfortunately bring the numbers even. When they arrived, it was lovely. We all just spoke about random shit I can't even remember and drank. It was a great night. We bonded and exchanged instagrams, the Osaka JETs loved me and I them. Before going home we went to a conbini and I bought ice cream along with this other JET who LOVES ice cream. She bought one earlier too so I thought I'd join her this time. We ate ice cream and went on our merry way home. Two of the JETs go on the same train as us so we mingled a bit more. The girls all decided to have a twilight binge together, they invited me too but damn I smelled like shit. Ain't no way I'm polluting someone else's house. Especially after she showed me how nice her little place was lol. It'd be like a hotbox but instead of weed it's dutty fuckin' pits and tbh whole body. It was hot ok and I suffer in those conditions. 35 degrees celcius and crazy humid. Also we were exhausted since we've been running on 5 hours sleep. SO WE GO HOME, shower and sleep pretty much straight away.

The next day I woke up, packed up early to meet a former coworker from the UK. He was in Japan for a couple of weeks and I promised I'd meet him, that was actually the whole reason I came to Osaka. I said goodbye to my friend and went straight to the station my friend was arriving to. Travelling around Osaka was easy, it was pretty much identical to the tube. Just with better trains (airconditioned). I reunited with my former coworker and it was great lol. It's felt good speaking to someone I've known for a pretty long time, even though realistically we've only been apartment for like just under two months lol. Not much to actually write about but we did some touristy things! Went to the aquarium, which was actually the biggest aquarium in the world when it was built in 1990. I remember reading it on wikipedia before I was here randomly. I didn't realise it was the same one till I got there and felt a hint of familiarity. After that we met up with the rest of his friends which was amusing, a total of 6 black people and me so everyone was looking at us. I couldn't stay long but I helped them find a restaurant and order, talk a small bit, exchanged instas and left for my dreaded 7 hour journey back home. My friend actually walked with me to the coach station, bless him and i almost missed it too lol. I was very panicked and annoyed, thank you D for putting up with that. I hope the rest your trip to Japan was great.

The coach journey itself was fine, this time I actually slept most of the way unlike last time. I couldn't wait to be home and when I got home I was greeted by my neighbourhood cat Pochi. I was happy.

AWAY THAT CONCLUDES THE OSAKA ARC AND IM LAZY AGAIN

love, J-sensei

[remakethestars]

CABIN 7 — APOLLO

Headcanons.

❝There ought to be more drama, I think. A musical crescendo. Confetti.❞

— Jess Cooper, I Am Still Alive

Headcanon masterlist.

Oh, boy — this is my cabin, y'all; buckle up! 😁

Not all Apollo kids are good at everything their dad's good at, okay? I sure as heck can’t paint or play an instrument. 

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of violence?

They run an underground tattoo parlor.

That's where Will & Butch got their respective sun & rainbow tats.

Apollo kids with lyrics tattooed into their skin.

Rick says there isn't much by way of décor inside, which is f*in' B.S. Apollo's the god of art; those walls have been graffitied Tangled style.

🎶 i'll paint the walls some more — i'm sure there's room somewhere! 🎶

The east wall is covered in a landscape of a sunrise, & the west has a sunset (because the sun rises in the east & sets in the — yeah, I'll see myself out).

The north & south walls & the ceiling are white, though, because it really brightens/opens up the space (C7 has the 2ⁿᵈ most campers under C11 because Apollo's a slut; things can get a little crowded in the summer).

When there’re celebrations, the artistically inclined kids bust out the face paint. Especially for the younger campers.

The artistically inclined are the ones that paint the camp beads for the end of the summer. Despite the numbers, it doesn’t take them as long as one might think.

Rick said the ceiling had cedar beams, but we're not gonna do Cyparissius dirty like that. Cypress wood is good for building; the beams are cypress. You know what? F*ck you — the whole dang cabin's cypress!

There’s a massive, potted aloe vera plant by the steps that gets moved into the C4 greenhouse in the winter. It’s one of those old ones — because everyone knows the old aloe plants work better for burns & blisters than these sh¡tty new ones. (It’s constantly getting broken off to heal burns & stuff.) 

Rick said there are potted red & purple hyacinths in the window & yellow flowers from Delos. That's true.

I'd say the flowerbeds around the cabin are full of healing plants, but I feel like they'd be better off around the infirmary for obvious reasons.

I do feel like there's a laurel tree planted outside C7, though, because Apollo's a pining b¡tch.

And there's an actual infirmary building, okay? Rick's kinda inconsistent about that. Sometimes he says "infirmary," sometimes he says the Big House is running over with injured, & apparently there's a cot dead center for injured in C7? B.S.

Or maybe I've just read too much fanfic, and the authors don't get it right?

Either way, there's an infirmary building with surgery & delivery rooms. One floor. Locker room for C7 kids to store their scrubs & sh¡t.

They go for yellow scrubs, though, because orange C.H.B. scrubs make them look like escaped convicts.

Fun Band-Aids™

They give out little orange stickers with laurels around the edges that are like I voted! stickers, but they're injury-specific.

I got my leg(s) reattached! & Percy Jackson shot me in the butt! & I ticked off Clarisse! & I made out with an Aphrodite kid in the poison ivy! & I fell off the lava wall! & I got pranked by the Stolls!

After a war or just when there’re a lot of campers in the infirmary, there seems to be a constant flow of Apollo kids singing one hymn to their father in unison to heal someone.

Sometimes, an unconscious camper wakes in a cot & thinks they’ve died & gone to the wrong afterlife for a moment because their singing sounds like angels. 

The medically inclined wash their hands like surgeons. 

Kind of germophobic?

They also go around tying surgeons knots in everything.

In the summer, they’re walking Banana Boat sunscreen & after-sun aloe lotion dispensers.

The medically inclined also have the world’s sh¡ttiest handwriting.

They have to work hard to fix it if it bothers them. 

Can check your vitals & run a blood test just by touching you.

A lot of them casually touch their loved ones (at least, the ones that aren’t in C7) every morning to check their vitals & see how their health’s doing.

They do it subconsciously every time they touch someone & don’t notice it until they pick up something’s wrong.

They can do this for themselves as well. Though it may not be as accurate? And they take daily vitamins depending on what they need.

Organize their lives via pill box (never lose an earring).

Fight surgically. Every blade in their hands becomes a scalpel, & every time they’re going in for a kill against an armed anthropomorphic monster, they slice the tendons in its arm required to grip its weapon to disable it before going in for the kill.

Back to C7, it’s got a little porch with a porch swing. The kids sit on it sometimes & teach people how to play instruments.

They leave the porch light on at night when they’re waiting for one of their siblings to come home from a quest.

Jumping into the depressing sh¡t, they never found Michael’s body, so they only presumed him dead. They leave the porch light on every night now, hoping he’ll come home.

Apollo kids are afraid of the dark. They use the buddy system after the sun goes down. 

The cabin’s central light fixture is a papier-mâché sun that’s been charmed to glow when someone sings 🎶 clap on 🎶 & stop glowing when someone sings 🎶 clap off. 🎶

The curtains are a gold fabric. They’re only closed at night. Because, again, C7 kids are afraid of the dark.

The Wikipedia says Apollo kids are cursed to be afraid of snakes (I assume by the Python Apollo killed). I feel like they’d burn a lot of aster leaves then. I read somewhere it was said by the Greeks to ward off evil spirits & snakes.

They play Go Fish with their tarot cards. They’re really good at tarot games.

Hand-drawn tarot decks featuring figures form Greek myth.

There’s a target on the back wall they practice throwing cards at. They can throw them in combat for a distraction with terrifying accuracy. 

There’s a Magic 8 ball that’s passed around on the Winter Solstice (the longest night of the year), when — as a headcanon I’m sure I’ve read somewhere has indicated — they’re up all night.

Crystal balls are allowed. However, they must be covered with a cloth or placed in a box when not in use because they’re double-convex lenses, & we don’t want another incident like the fire of 1993.

Sometimes, they make little predictions throughout the day other campers may find disturbing. Such as whipping around and catching a stray arrow without warning (spidey sense?). Or cutting you off when you’re talking about someone moments before they walk into the room.

There’s a tea cart in the corner. Because tea is good for healing & they’ve accumulated an addiction.

The cart has a radio on it that’s always on at night because a lot of C7 kids can’t sleep without noise. (Inspired by @sugarandspiceandkindanice.)

Most of the time, it’s on a nearby country station that actually plays good country at night. But sometimes they switch channels — especially when there’s a new kid settling in & they could use the comfort.

There’s a portable record player there too. The shelves under the cart are full of C.D.s & records.

I’m sure I’ve read a headcanon somewhere that they sing every morning while getting ready for the day. That’s true.

The number of times it’s been “When Will My Life Begin” from Tangled is disturbing, though. 

🎶 seven a.m., the usual morning lineup! 🎶

Luke said in The Lightning Thief C11 is up at 07:00 & breakfast is at 08:00, I think, but we all know Apollo’s waking his kids up when the sun rises. 

A lot of the time, someone will just start out with whatever song they have stuck in their head & everyone else will pick it up.

Sometimes, this leads to members having the aforementioned song stuck in their head for the rest of the day.

Even the people who aren’t musically inclined will sing along, as they’re usually drowned out by the music kids that get really into it.

So sometimes those not-music kids will find themselves singing by themselves during the day years later & are surprised to find — they actually sound good?? Or at least not bad??? And it’s because singing is a learned skill & they picked it up.

I’m sure I’ve also read a headcanon somewhere that they sing “Look Down” from Les Mis when they have to do menial chores, but I'm adding “It’s a Hard-Knock Life” from Annie, “Whistle While You Work” from Snow White, “Happy Working Song” from Enchanted, & the Smurf song.

They break into song all the time.

Lee was glaring at Tantalus once & made the mistake of saying, “Sometimes, I wish —” and the entire cabin broke out with “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

🎶 — i'd never been born at all! carry on, carry on… 🎶

As mentioned in at least The Lightning Thief & The Lost Hero, they spend a lot of time playing basketball. You can bet your butt they do a rendition of “Getcha Head in the Game” from High School Musical every time there’s a new camper passing by.

They have a sister named Jubilee, and every time someone greets her — "Hey, Jube!" — the entire cabin breaks into “Hey, Jude” by The Beetles.

🎶 hey, Jube! don't make it bad. take a sad song & make it better… 🎶

Sometimes, if there are two campers that really need to get together, C10′ll commission C7 to sing “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid (or the same song with different pronouns, obviously). 

It’s usually a capella unless someone happens to have an instrument on them.

Rickrolling. 

The “Macarena.” 

Apollo takes clandestine recordings of their jam sessions & distributes them professionally. Whatever money’s made goes directly into their college funds or they periodically find it under their pillow tooth-fairy-style.

There’s a lot of denim because the artistic members like to paint on the backs of jackets & the pockets of jeans.

A lot of them have excellent aim with most projectiles, so they toss stuff to each other a lot. This results in them being oddly in sync, so they can catch something from another sibling without warning & without looking like Sam & Dean Winchester do in Supernatural. 

Their life looks like a Dude Perfect trick shot video. 

It also results in some funny looks when they hurl things halfway across camp to each other. Namely, the whistling Nerf football. 

C7 is two stories. The second story has paint on every wall. 

The east wall upstairs has arrows mounted that got Robin Hooded along with a little tag with the name of the C7 kid & the date it happened.

They also have arrows mounted from the first bullseye if there’s a member being taught. 

Lots of musical instruments & art supplies up there.

There’s an old T.V. up there. They have all of Bob Ross’s show on V.H.S.

C7′s south wall (ground floor) holds the door to the bathroom on one side & a door leading to the stairs. 

It also hosts framed photos of Charlotte, Lee, & Michael.

Instead of saying “shoot,” they say “loose.” For everything. Instead of saying “Shoot!” when they drop something, they say “Loose!” 

It's kinda one of those things — like your friend starts saying something & you just integrate it into your vocabulary subconsciously.

They like to play a game where you shoot an arrow straight up & try to catch it as it comes back down.

That sounds really stupid on their part, but it actually comes in handy when someone tries to shoot them in combat & they catch the arrow, dumbfounding whoever's attempted to skewer them.

The cresting on their arrows is in Morse code of their nickname (·—— ·· ·—·· ·—··). They can take one look at an arrow & tell what’s whose.

And the paint color of the cresting tells them what kind of arrow it is — bullet tip, broadhead, explosive, etc. 

Every bunk in C7 is made with hospital corners. No exceptions. The kids who aren’t medically inclined learn because all the beds being made the same way makes it look cleaner for inspection.

I can’t decide if Apollo kids have really good eyesight so they fit the Hawkeye bill or if they’ve all just read — Apollo’s the god of knowledge — & painted so much they’ve messed up their eyes.

The number of times one of them has used bowstring wax on an art project in a rush instead of glue is hilariously large.

I use String Snot, and it comes in a container that looks like a glue stick.

A lot of them wear bracers all the time.

When the time it takes to sling one’s quiver onto one’s back, grab one’s bow, knock an arrow, & draw is so long, one really doesn’t have time to also strap on their bracers before rushing out of the cabin to threaten a giant bronze dragon.

Not to mention if they use a recurve, they’ll also have to string their bow.

And a number of them do use recurves due to the abilities to both knock multiple arrows at once & to restring in the field.

Bows with risers coated in golden, reflective paint & limbs painted with artistic strokes.

Trick arrows are their jam. C9 is constantly being asked for new arrows.

Explosive arrows, sonic arrows, grappling hook arrows…

That’s another saying they’ve all taken to: “___ is my jam!”

There’s a bookshelf or reference material on Apollo for new C7 kids (as Rick’s indicated), but the rest of the case is full of medical journals & textbooks & books on art & poetry & divining the future.

A lot — if not all — of them have either gold flecks in their eyes or central heterochromia.

Freckles across their noses & shoulders & on the tips of their ears. Tans. Sun-bleached hair. 

Long, nimble fingers perfect for playing musical instruments.

Either they hate the winter because the sun's out for less time (so you’ll find them walking around with blanched skin & faded freckles & with both a hoody & a parka on), or they’re perfectly fine with winter & are used by everyone around them as walking space heaters. 

They spend a lot of time with Castor & Pollux. 

Rachel sits at T7. She’s practically an Apollo kid at this point. 

While her cave was being renovated, she stayed in C7.

Their dad’s the god of truth; none of these M.F.s can lie worth a sh¡t. 

But, by the gods, they can tell when you’re lying.

And they take it as a personal insult. That you (A) would dare do something as immoral as lying in the first place & that you (B) would dare to insult their intelligence in such a way because you thought they couldn’t tell.

C6 & C7 are both known for reacting outrageously when their intelligence is insulted (see: chapter 10 of The Battle of the Labyrinth). 

The more civil of the reactions of a C7 kid being lied to is cursing the liar to tell the truth, which I believe they can. 

They can curse you to speak in rhyming couplets; they should be able to curse you to tell the truth.

You mean to tell me none of these kids have created a functioning Lasso of Truth yet?

This one's really long. 😅

A lot of people fancast Sam Claflin as Apollo, but I'm going with Ross Lynch. 'Cause I do what I want. 😎

Visit my Apollo cabin Pinterest board or my headcanon masterlist.

DISCLAIMER ━━━ These headcanons are what I consider to be canon in my fanfictions. They may be others’s headcanons I’ve subconsciously filed away in my noggin. If one’s yours and you want it removed or credited, please send me your post and let me know.

[lesbianmarrow]

ok heres my thoughts on legends of tomorrow 4.06. overall i thought it was good. the main plot with nate and his dad was not perfect but it was enjoyable enough. the b plot with ava and nora and mona all stuck in a room together was perfect. you all know i dont like nate much but i actually liked him a lot in this episode. when charlie is telling the story of the minotaur hiding in the labyrinth because he feels ashamed of not living up to his father’s expectations and nate is like :( i thought that was so good. 

my biggest issue was that nate’s father did not seem believable to me. first off i didn’t believe that he would idolize hemingway. i havent actually read much (any?) hemingway but i feel like nate’s father is not the type to idolize writers even if they are so manly. felt very contrived for the plot and i couldn’t quite get past that. i also thought that nate’s father’s insistence on following hemingway and fighting the minotaur with brute force and being very stupid was hard to believe. like it was just a level of stupidity that i didn’t buy. nate’s father came off as a very 2-dimensional character in this episode which i thought was a shame. however i thought the resolution was sweet and him singing the minotaur to sleep was a nice moment. overall it was a pretty decent way to wrap up the nate storyline. like it could have been executed better but i get what they were going for and it wasn’t terrible to watch. 

b plot with the ladies stuck in the prison cell was so so terrific. i am so fond of the trope of people who don’t like each other are stuck in a room together and eventually come to understand each other better. and i like that in this case it was 3 women who are totally different and none of them really get along (although mona tries to get along with both). legends isn’t a show that makes a big deal of its female representation (the way supergirl does) but this b plot shows that they are quite good at writing women as complex and dynamic people whose lives dont revolve around men. 

of course, mona is the least developed of the 3. i feel like the writing for her is a little weak and the writers are relying on the actress’s charm to pull off the character. which mostly works in this episode but i’m hoping they will add more complexity to her character in the near future because otherwise her shtick is going to get old. i do enjoy her though and i like that shes a woman of color who gets to be silly and funny without being the butt of every joke. shes like felicity smoak crossed with gary green, except that shes asian. wasian? holy shit i just looked on the actress’s wikipedia page and shes only 1 year older than me. scary....

anyways nora and ava were delightful. this is the most ive ever liked nora probably. i think the actress is maybe not the best but her performance is really good here, solemn and a little bit prickly. she’s able to play a more withdrawn nora really well. i liked ava because i always like ava but i think she and mona play off each other quite well. there was a lot of humor in their interactions but mona also challenges ava and forces her to reconsider her perspective. love when that happens. however i didnt buy it when mona talked about shipping nora and ray and ava knew what shipping was. i dont think ava should know what shipping is shes too cool for that. it was so cute when ava finally relented and allowed them to celebrate her birthday. i hope later she and sara were able to celebrate her birthday....in private ;)

was literally so funny when they opened the letter and RAY was there. i thought it was a fantastic joke how zari and constantine were like “ray you could walk right off this ship and nobody would notice” and then he was absent from the episode and i DIDNT notice until he showed up in the envelope. a little unfortunate that the 3 women need a man to save them but what can you do it happens sometimes. i was a bit disappointed to see zari on the sidelines again. we need another zari-centric episode asap! 

the treatment of the topic of incarceration in this episode is troubling, as it usually is in arrowverse. ava comes off as a real monster after sitting side by side with nora and eating birthday cake with her and then going right back to imprisoning her despite nora’s total remorse. its just one of those things you gotta look past but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. mona’s care for the magical beings does so much to humanize them, which is emphasized in this episode, and i wonder if that’s going to be a major plot point later in the season, because they obviously need mona around for something. but yeah even though i like ava her treatment of the prisoners is just appalling :( 

forgot to talk about nate and charlie. um it was funny i guess. and kind of sad. but nice in a bittersweet way. not talking about the avalance scene here because i need a whole separate post to talk about that. there is so much there that i am completely obsessed with. 

[newcatwords]

where is hawai'i? can you point to it on a map?

if someone asks you to point to hawai'i on a map, where would you point?

before colonization, there was (and continues to be) an island called "hawai'i". the entire chain of islands is called "hawaii" and there is a state called "hawaii" made up of a large number of those islands.

now, because there are too many things named "hawaii," the island of hawai'i is often called "the big island", because o'ahu, the island where the city of honolulu is located, is what many people think of when they think of "hawaii". it's a mess.

on top of that, we have the "main hawaiian islands" (aka "southeastern islands" aka "windward islands") vs the "outer islands" (aka "northwestern islands" aka "leeward islands").

most maps of "hawaii" show only the "main" islands. the map above (created by USGS) shows more of the hawaiian islands, but omits the names of two of the islands in the "main" chain: lana'i & kaho'olawe. these are not insignificant omissions. lana'i is 98% owned by larry ellison, founder & chairman of oracle corporation. kaho'olawe has been relentlessly used & abused by the west. it has been used for ranchland, military training, and most notably, as a munitions testing site, resulting in the continued contamination of the island. after many years of protests & lawsuits by native hawaiians, the island is now only accessible by native hawaiians for cultural, spiritual, & subsistence reasons.

meanwhile, this tourist mug with a creepy colonial-style map of hawaii includes both kaho'olawe & lana'i. good job, tourist mug!

there are actually over a hundred islands in the hawaiian archipelago. the state of hawaii includes 137 of them (source). midway atoll (made up of 3 islands) is part of the archipelago, but not part of the state. it is one of america's territories: an unorganized unincorporated territory.

additionally, some of the islands "are too small to appear on maps, and others, such as Maro Reef, only appear above the water's surface during times of low tide. Others, such as Shark and Skate islands, have completely eroded away." [source: wikipedia page "list of islands of hawaii"].

in the course of writing this post, i failed to find a map that shows & names all the hawaiian islands and failed to even find a list of all of them (plus if an island only appears sometimes or has disappeared entirely, what do you even do with that?). if you find either or both of those, let me know in comments.

so where and what "hawaii" is remains a mystery.

but this has not prevented commercial & official interests from using maps of "hawaii" in all kinds of places! here on the islands, hawaii map imagery is all around.

maps are very common on tourist items:

the hawaiian telcom logo uses dots roughly arranged in the pattern of the islands on a map:

but i guess only five islands are worth including (i understand. branding needs come above all else!).

this souvenir cloth item is interesting because it includes all the main islands (including ni'ihau, lana'i, and kaho'olawe - which are often excluded), but smooshes them into the available space without much consideration for where they are in relation to each other:

the postcard above has the main islands in their rough places, but squishes them all together so that they fit in the space. also the islands are made more similar in size to each other so that you can better see the little illustrations.

here's a more "official" map to show where the islands "should be" in relation to each other, and their sizes relative to each other (although both of those can change depending on what projection the map uses):

in my mind, though, the ultimate hawaii map fantasy lives on the ubiquitous reusable walmart cloth bag (available for 50 cents at checkout to all who have forgotten to bring the right number of bags. there's a plastic shopping bag ban in hawaii.):

in the walmart commercial universe (wcu), the only islands that exist are islands that have a walmart. the general outlines of the islands & their general orientation is preserved (along with a rough topology too!), attempting to convey a sense of adhering to a recognizable reality, but islands without a walmart have been not only omitted, but the space where they would be has been eliminated as well - as if they were never there to begin with. in the walmart version of reality, what makes something "hawaii" is whether or not it has a walmart on it.

i've had a lot of time to think about this remarkable image because i have a whole bunch of these bags. this is the bag of the people - everyone uses it for everything. the one in the above photo is in a typical state - pretty rough - because it probably came from the side of the road. you can almost always find one on the side of the road. so wherever you are, you are probably within sight of the walmart version of the islands.

so why does it matter whether or not you can point to "hawaii" on a map? well, maps are political documents, meaning that they reflect the vision of whoever has the power to put the map in front of your eyes. so if you're the one with the power to make some of the most commonly-seen maps of hawaii and you decide to remove a few islands, well that can really shape what people think "hawaii" is! we're a sea of islands - many people here have only ever been to one or two of the islands. if it wasn't on the map, you might not know that it existed at all.

hawaii is incredibly important to the united states, not just for tourism, but in terms of global strategy. it's the largest outpost of american power in the middle of the pacific. it puts america & its troops half an ocean closer to some of america's biggest competitors, most notably, china. it's a springboard to all the other island territories of the pacific (which you maybe haven't heard of because they almost never appear on maps):

once you see a map of all of america's territories in the pacific, along with the exclusive economic zones (eez) that extend out for 200 miles around each island, you start to get a better feel for the extent of america's power in the pacific.

when a place is left off the map, it can be easy to make it (including its people!) invisible. so if you're america, with bases across the islands of the pacific, with a nightmarish history of atomic weapons testing in the pacific (rendering islands uninhabitable and leaving both land and waters too contaminated for people to use), perhaps you might not want some of these places to appear on the map.

in Foreign Policy in Focus, Khury Petersen-Smith writes:

"Many of us living in North America who are concerned about climate change, for example, have a sense that Pacific Islands are facing particularly severe impacts from rising sea levels. But that knowledge tends to be vague and limited, as actual residents of these islands are rarely invited to the table to speak for themselves.

This is not accidental. Commenting during the Nixon administration on U.S. nuclear testing in the Marshall Islands, which share the same region of the Pacific as Guam, Henry Kissinger said “there are only 90,000 people out there. Who gives a damn?”

The U.S. has long had an interest in Marshallese and other Pacific Islanders remaining “out there” in the American mind. This marginalization helps allow the U.S. to carry out military operations in the region, along with policies that further climate change and other harms, while keeping most Americans unaware of these practices’ impacts in the Pacific." [FPIF]

often hawai'i (and alaska - which is in many ways similar to hawai'i in its relation to the contiguous US) doesn't even appear on national maps of the USA.

here's a screenshot from the new york times homepage on march 21, 2020, just as the coronavirus pandemic was beginning to spread:

there is no alaska and no hawai'i on those maps. so if you were looking for information on the most important issue that was happening at the time, and you live in or are concerned about hawai'i and/or alaska, there would just be nothing. and what does it say about the people who run the top newspaper in america that they decided it was fine to omit these two states? are they not states? do they not matter? do the readers in those states not matter? and this is not an unusual thing at all. it happens all the time.

i'd like to finish by sharing with you a poem by CHamoru poet Craig Santos Perez. CHamoru are the indigenous people of the mariana islands (which include guam, saipan, tinian, rota, and others).

in this poem, Craig Santos Perez writes about not appearing on the map...

“Off-Island CHamorus”

My family migrated to California when I was 15 years old. During the first day at my new high school, the homeroom teacher asked: “Where are you from?” “The Mariana Islands,” I answered. He replied: “I’ve never heard of that place. Prove it exists.” And when I stepped in front of the world map on the wall, it transformed into a mirror: the Pacific Ocean, like my body, was split in two and flayed to the margins. I found Australia, then the Philippines, then Japan. I pointed to an empty space between them and said: “I’m from this invisible archipelago.” Everyone laughed. And even though I descend from oceanic navigators, I felt so lost, shipwrecked

on the coast of a strange continent. “Are you a citizen?” he probed. “Yes. My island, Guam, is a U.S. territory.” We attend American schools, eat American food, listen to American music, watch American movies and television, play American sports, learn American history, dream American dreams, and die in American wars. “You speak English well,” he proclaimed, “with almost no accent.” And isn’t that what it means to be a diasporic CHamoru: to feel foreign in a domestic sense.

Over the last 50 years, CHamorus have migrated to escape the violent memories of war; to seek jobs, schools hospitals, adventure, and love; but most of all, we’ve migrated for military service, deployed and stationed to bases around the world. According to the 2010 census, 44,000 CHamorus live in California, 15,000 in Washington, 10,000 in Texas, 7,000 in Hawaii, and 70,000 more in every other state and even in Puerto Rico. We are the most “geographically dispersed” Pacific Islander population within the United States, and off-island CHamorus now outnumber our on-island kin, with generations having been born away from our ancestral homelands, including my daughters.

Some of us will be able to return home for holidays, weddings, and funerals; others won’t be able to afford the expensive plane ticket to the Western Pacific. Years and even decades might pass between trips, and each visit will feel too short. We’ll lose contact with family and friends, and the island will continue to change until it becomes unfamiliar to us. And isn’t that, too, what it means to be a diasporic CHamoru: to feel foreign in your own homeland.

Even after 25 years, there are still times I feel adrift, without itinerary or destination. When I wonder: What if we stayed? What if we return? When the undertow of these questions begins pulling you out to sea, remember: migration flows through our blood like the aerial roots of the banyan tree. Remember: our ancestors taught us how to carry our culture in the canoes of our bodies. Remember: our people, scattered like stars, form new constellations when we gather. Remember: home is not simply a house, village, or island; home is an archipelago of belonging.

–Craig Santos Perez

----------

thank you for reading this post! please let me know if you see any errors.

if you'd like to learn more about some important issues in the pacific, here are just a few:

july 2, 2020: "US says leaking nuclear waste dome is safe; Marshall Islands leaders don't believe it" - Los Angeles Times

may 30, 2021: "Pacific Plunder: this is who profits from the mass extraction of the region's natural resources." - The Guardian

april 5, 2021: "75 years after nuclear testing in the Pacific began, the fallout continues to wreak havoc" - The Conversation

june 4, 2021: "Guam won’t give up more land to the U.S. military without a fight" - The World (radio program)

aug. 24, 2021: "The US is building a military base in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Micronesian residents have questions." - The World (radio program)

and if you'd like to learn more about how maps are political, here are a couple articles:

june 5, 2014: "The politics of making maps" by Amanda Ruggeri, for BBC

july 11, 2018: "Politics and Cartography: The Power of Deception through Distortion" by John Erskine, for the Carnegie Ethics Online Monthly Column

[collectionofsinglefathers]

I have a feeling she might be playing it up for effect, but the way Sharon talks about Bucky also plays into the whole thing of Captain America being used as a propaganda tool by the US government within the MCU. Bucky too would’ve been a part of that.

In the original Winter Soldier comic line, there’s a great moment where Steve talks about the darker side of Bucky in the reality of WWII and fighting HYDRA:

“Which is the real secret of what Bucky was. The official story said he was a symbol to counter the rise of Hitler youth... and there was some truth to that. But like all things in war, there was a darker truth underneath. Bucky did the things I couldn’t. I was the icon. I wore the flag... But while I gave speeches to troops in the trenches... he was doing what he’d been trained to do... and he was highly trained.”

For anyone who might not be as familiar with Bucky in the comics, and I’m not an expert or anything, like I’ve said I only really know the original Winter Soldier line when it comes to Bucky, Steve and Bucky weren’t childhood best friends like they are in the MCU. Bucky was a kid he got paired up with after getting the serum. I don’t remember exactly, it’s been a LONG time since I’ve read the original WS line. But I know he was a kid, and he was used as this icon to basically try and boost American patriotism in young kids during the time period, when in reality he was doing a lot of the more messed up stuff that Steve couldn’t do because of the nature of Captain America and the icon that he was. Bucky was “just a sidekick”, so it was easier to sweep the stuff he was trained to do under the rug. They used him as propaganda the same way Steve was used

And there’s evidence of it in the MCU as well. In the Winter Soldier, when Steve goes to the Captain America exhibit in the Smithsonian, there’s a big memorial display for Bucky, with everyone still believing him to be dead, and the whole thing is practically a constructed narrative made by the people who made the memorial, and not all from the real facts. Here’s a pretty clear picture of the memorial, and I’ll also write out what it says down below:

“Born in 1916, Barnes was born the oldest child of four. An excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom, Barnes enlisted in the Army shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbor. After winter training at Camp McCoy, Wisconsin, Barnes and the rest of the 107th shipped out to the Italian Front. Captured by HYDRA troops later that fall, Barnes endured long periods of isolation, depravation, and torture. But his will was strong. In an ironic twist of fate, his prison camp was liberated by none other than his childhood friend, Steve Rogers, now Captain America.

Reunited, Barnes and Rogers led Captain America’s newly formed unit, the Howling Commandos. Barnes’ marksmanship was invaluable as Rogers and his team destroyed HYDRA bases and disrupted Nazi troop movements throughout the European Theater.”

First of all, there’s a giant contradiction within the text itself (although that’s probably just more of a continuity error or typo and not a propaganda thing). The main text says Bucky was born in 1916, but then down at the bottom, it says 1917 - 1944. (The MCU has also never been super clear on in he fell into the ravine in 44 or 45, but that’s not super relevant.)

It states that he enlisted, and it’s a big fan favorite headcanon that Bucky was drafted, and I actually believe this headcanon to be true. One, because in Sebastian’s performance in Cap 1, nothing about it says to me “Bucky totally wants to do this”. Two, it’s actually supported by historical fact. In WWII, there was a specific system to how soldiers’ ID numbers worked. A newer (and awesome) mutual of mine @maxwyl told me that Bucky’s full ID number is 32557038. According to this Wikipedia article, the first two numbers, 32, signify that he was drafted in the Delaware, New Jersey, and New York area, and seeing as he’s from Brooklyn, it lines up.

Third, the way it mentions how Steve liberated the HYDRA prison camp makes it sound like it was fate, like Steve was just on another mission and Bucky just happened to be there. It completely leaves out the fact that Steve hadn’t been on any sanctioned missions, and I’m fact went against orders and took action into his own hands because he heard that Bucky, his best friend, was being presumed dead along with the rest of the captured 107th.

And also, just the way it says that his “will was strong” through being tortured by HYDRA feels so much like a cliched “they couldn’t break him” type of thing, when in reality he was barely conscious when Steve found him and was probably only able to keep up with Steve during their escape due to adrenaline and just wanting to make sure his best friend survived.

I went off on a tangent there. But anyway, while what Sharon says to Bucky is a clear indicator of that kind of public image being put out of Bucky, I think it’s more her playing it up, mostly due to her proximity to Peggy and her seeming to be a hero to Sharon from the way she talked about her in Civil War.

[halcyon-writings]

Hey I dont know if your open for requests but I was wondering if you could possibly do an imagine for sero, Amajiki, and bakugou where they're in a relationship that is just rocking the addam family vibes. Hand kiss, random waltz, unduing love. Just that sort of thing. Sorry if the ask is long. Love your work!

note(s): this request is really cute and i cannot stop thinking about it. and please don’t apologize it’s no trouble at all! but you know what else that means? they’re goth !!! good for them good for them!! gn reader as per usual folks let’s get it

hcs under the cut!!

as much as i hate what a certain part of the fandom did when it came to hc’ing sero as hispanic, i wholeheartedly back it bc i too am hispanic and its what i personally deserve- Anyway, i like to think that he loves dancing. And I feel like Sero is a big dork, a sap, and he would be the kind of guy to just pull his s/o into a random waltz/slow dance regardless of whether or not there’s music playing.

If there is none, he will provide the music. Either from his phone or from himself; yes, he will sing some cheesy old song while he spins you around and dances with you. man, now i want an s/o like him. Please stop him, but also don’t since it’s really cute. He only really does it when he has that like sixth sense that you’re feeling down. Sero starts to hum a familiar tune, and he gives you a smug look when you hide a small smile from him. But you humor him anyway.

Sero makes this funny, sweet, and sappy. The whole shebang. But since you mention the Addam’s family, just imagining goth sero or like... goth aligned jdgksjgds. He would match outfits with you if that was your kind of aesthetic too. And whenver he sees something that might remind him of you, and just gets so happy to see that you like it.

But anyway back to the waltzing, I feel like he just knows about it from like reading about it on wikipedia, or just the internet in general whenever it was like 3 am and he’s scrolling on his phone. (And maybe he practiced to want to impress you, but he will admit that to no one. Denki might have caught him once and after making him swear to secrecy, then Sero will pretend no one had seen anything. You caught him one day using a mop as a dance partner and it was really cute to see him get all flustered. But you promise him a dance anyway, (and maybe a kiss too but that’s between you two and the bakusquad who you discovered was there for emotional support). 

tama... my wonderful boy, the light of my life, small warning for spoilers but like hori where is he, please i’ll give you the 5 dollars i have in my purse just let me see my baby. PLEASE IM DESPARATE-

*coughs* so anyway, as someone who’s overall a giant mix of anxiety and overthinking, Tamaki definitely is the type of person who grounds these worries through physical contact. Whether it’s you walking arm in arm, or hand in hand (more likely than not it’s the first option, as the second almost has him combusting bc of the way your hands are so warm and how they fit his own, or how his fit in yours).

It becomes a mini ritual to just take your hand in his and kiss your palm. Granted, the poor thing is just really red the entire time so it’s all the more endearing. But Tamaki is doing his best, and that’s all I ask of him. In return, give his hand a squeeze and he’s just, settled by your side (think the one meme of ariana grande except he’s ariana and you’re pete ;loves to walk hand in hand with you). While you don’t actively do it, you know sometimes that his anxiety makes it very difficult to talk to people so sometimes you talk for him, only when he says it’s okay though! But you will fight a person if they say anything about it negatively.

Another thing he likes to do is link pinkies!!! Idk why but the mental image of that is just so cute. Although this was more common in the beginning of your relationship (bc he just knew that his palms were sweaty and he didn’t want you to notice) but he still does it from time to time!!! Like maybe the hallways at UA or the train home are a bit crowded. Having you nearby also helps him feel that you’re safe too.

Katsuki, aka the Ride or Die Extraordinaire. I’ve seen this hc a lot in general, but he’d literally never casually date. when you’re together that’s it, he’s set on you and you only. And like, highkey that’s oddly comforting dhdjdjd. Safe to say, he is dedicated.

And while he’s not very into pda, not bc of that Image™️ that people try and say he has, but really it’s because it’s not something he needs to show that he’s with you, he knows you and trusts you (but it doesn’t mean he complains when you put your hand in his, fingers intertwined just don’t point out the way his ears flush a bright red, otherwise he’ll act like he doesn’t and it only makes him more red).

He may not look it, but he’ll also match in aesthetic if you want him too. Bakugo is that much of your biggest fan and personal cheerleader. If you’re unsure of a color maybe not fitting you or a certain style, he will go out and get you more clothes like that both for you and him. In his words, “You’re fine as hell and this is the one time I’ll accept not being number 1.” Or something along those lines. If someone says anything negative about it, you have to stop him from verbally tearing them a new one.

Adding to that last point, he’s protective but not to the point where he’s overprotective He knows you’re fully capable of kicking ass. (including his *cough*) Like I just wanna reiterate that if there was anyone that was so dedicated to an s/o in a sort of manner that Cortez is to Morticia, it’d be Katsuki. I take no criticism.