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#also something something in the shadows vs in the light
beaulesbian · 10 months
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~ But what if they still hate me? ~ No one hates a hero of the realm.
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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years
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Just received a stunning commission from @leifor of everyone’s favorite star trek couple: Tuvok and T’Pel!
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Cool cool cool cool I can be normal about this I can be SO normal about this
(The Raven King, Ch2.)
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unboundprompts · 8 months
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Hey, I was wondering how to write nightmares, or sleep paralysis for my next story.
How to Write Nightmares and Sleep Paralysis
Causes of Sleep Paralysis:
Insomnia
PTSD
Anxiety disorders
Panic disorders
Disrupted sleep patterns (ex: jet lag)
Family history
Symptoms of Sleep Paralysis:
Paralysis (duh)
Feeling outside of your body
Chest pressure (as if someone is standing on your chest)
Sense of suffocating or breathlessness
Feeling like there is something dangerous in the room
Nightmares vs Night Terrors:
When having a nightmare, you are likely to wake up during it and will possibly be able to recall the dream or parts of the dream.
When having a night terror, you will not wake up and you won’t be able to recall the dream in the morning.
Symptoms of Nightmares:
Fast heart rate
Shortness of breath
Sweat
Anxiety
Struggling to go back to sleep
Writing Prompts
-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit
She felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her eyes darted around the room, quick as lightning. She could see the nightlight she kept in the corner, casting the far wall of her bedroom in a blue light. Then she saw it. It watched her with a thin smile. She tried to sit up, to scream, anything, but she was frozen. The thing noticed her distress, and it stalked towards her, limbs elongated and as dark as the shadows of her room.
He sat bolt upright in bed. His heart was pounding so hard he felt like it was going to break through his chest. He grasped at his shirt, gripping the fabric as tight as he could. His skin was slick with sweat, and he had to peel his clothing off.
They stared up into the eyes of something. It was standing on their chest, looming over them with an emotionless gaze. They couldn't move, their limbs stiff and refusing to listen to their mind pleading with them to run. And so they stared. And the thing stared back.
She woke up screaming.
He tossed and he turned, but no matter what he did or however many times he flipped his pillow over, he could not fall asleep. He was too afraid. Afraid of that same, damn, nightmare.
They ran a stressed hand through their hair as they tried to control their breathing. It was quick, and they felt more and more lightheaded with each passing second. There was nothing they wanted more than to go back to sleep, but every time they closed their eyes it was like they were transported back to that awful dream. They slowly pulled themselves from the bed and stalked to the shower. They knew there was no way they would be able to sleep again tonight, so they might as well start their day.
If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider donating! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi!
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hotvintagepoll · 2 months
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hotvintagepoll Hot Men Tournament rundown thoughts
I promised a final recap post and here it is! I'll try to cover the questions I saw the most as we closed out the bracket, reveal my ✨secret faves✨, and talk about the biggest surprises and turnarounds I saw in the brackets.
Yes, this will get silly.
ROUND 1
As I've mentioned before, I worked off submissions for who to include in the bracket, so if your fave was missing—that's why. I used submitted pics when I could, but many submissions didn't have one, so I tried to find decent ones in the couple of days I had to prep the first round (I didn't always succeed). By decent, I mean pics where 1) I could see the hot man's face, so not too much moody lighting, and 2) hopefully conveyed something about his vibe, even if it was a funny thing (yes, I showed Howard Keel in full Shakespeare get-up—I'm not beyond putting up a pic because I think it's funny). I didn't know all of these hotties going in, so some I had to guess with, but when I could I tried to pick shots that had a touch of the humor, class, or genre of the hot man.
For Round 1 and Round 2, I grouped the hotties by each decade, so only '60s actors ran against '60s actors, '50s against '50s, etc. Male beauty standards shifted pretty dramatically over the sixty years this tournament covers, and I didn't think it was fair to pit dramatically different styles of beauty against each other immediately.
I pitted hot men against each other based on opposing energies—hot vs cold, elegant vs rough, comedy vs drama, etc.. I wanted the polls to be interesting and I've never liked brackets where everyone is clearly in different "lanes" until the finals! I also wanted to make polls where I couldn't tell which way they would swing, so by setting matchups that felt opposite but equal, I got to be surprised by the bracket results too.
The only reason we had any three-way matchups is because the amount of men submitted didn't round to a nice bracket number. I don't like them generally and find them really hard to balance.
Secret faves from Round 1—I am a James Coburn girlie and knew he would die immediately, so that was not a shock but a bummer. I similarly knew Robert Preston is only magical to people who have seen him do His Little Dance Routines in That One Iowa Musical, but it would have been nice for him to last longer.
Surprises—Jeremy Brett was a last-minute add and I didn't think he really had a shot, so I put him in as a third wheel on the Sean Connery/Dean Martin matchup. Little did I count on the Granada girlies. (Always count on the Granada girlies.) The Elvis/Peter Falk poll was the first one to gain any momentum—Elvis was winning for the first 24 hours but then, my god, did Peter fight back. I didn't expect the Tab/Toshiro poll to make that bad a mincemeat out of Tab—people have different tastes, and I thought the people who like blonde sunny All American white boys might turn out for The Blonde Sunny All American White Boy. Sorry, Tab. I hope you've peeled yourself off the sidewalk by now. And, of course, I was SHOCKED and APPALLED that James Cagney would be obliterated by, of all people, Mr. Bing Crosby.
SHADOW BRACKET
The fervor of the Harold Lloyd and Fredric March people inspired the shadow bracket, and I couldn't be happier at the way it's gone. You were right, the original photos I had for them did suck. Cunty Harold Lloyd in his little life guard uniform was a revelation.
ROUND 2
For Round 2 I'd gotten a better sense of who was doing well and who was not, so a little of that came into play, but I mostly paired on vibes again. (I genuinely think this is a good way to make a fun, challenging bracket.)
Secret faves—Noooo not hot dilf Dick Van Dyke don't take my hot inventor dilf away uwu!!! (He was up against Marlon Brando. I would have been shocked if he'd won but for a minute there, a glorious second, it was possible.) I am also a big old softie for David Niven's particular brand of repression to the point of volcanic rupture, but he is one of many hotties who does not look good without moving and speaking so I figured he would be going.
So much beef—hey! hey you. I ran a poll asking if we are horny for dancers. Yes, was the resounding poll response. Where, then, did all the fucking dancers go? This round we lost Donald O'Connor, Fred Astaire, Harold Nicholas; Sammy Davis Jr., Danny Kaye, Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby all sneak into this category as well, by token of having been in the kind of big MGM bang-a-pan-and-put-on-a-show beloved bedlams we all watch at Christmastime. Round 2 voters HATED musical matchups. Except for one.
The one—SOUND OF MUSIC, the voters said, WE LOVE SOUND OF MUSIC. we will KILL the man responsible for salad dressing because of the SOUND OF MUSIC. every other dance man can die but THIS man dances a FOLK DANCE with JULIE ANDREWS in a GARDEN. I did not go into this poll with strong opinions about Christopher Plummer or Paul Newman but my god did I leave having heard all of them.
Surprises—James Edwards/Anthony Perkins matchup was a nail biter! Conrad vs Oscar kept me up at nights. Surprised to see Basil Rathbone survive against Sabu Dastagir—both very fetching, but Sabu had some top-tier propaganda. Cesar Romero put up a surprisingly stiff fight against Cary Grant (an omen for things to come).
Oh horrors—horror heroes surprisingly fell all over the place. I was sure either Bela Lugosi or Turhan Bey would sweep their three-way matchup, but Michael Redgrave of all people carried through; Boris Karloff went down against Johnny Weismuller (while holding hands with fellow fallen hottie Fred Astaire), but at least we got his guacamole recipe before he went. Delighted to see that the Venn diagram of the coalitions who support horror hero Vincent Price and funny lil guy Donald O'Connor is a circle.
Secret faves pt 2—oh yeah, I fucking love Danny Kaye and Donald O'Connor. RIP funny lil kings.
ROUND 3
For some reason this was the hardest one to make matchups for. Oh no, all the men are hot.
Secret faves—Michael Redgrave i love you SO much you're SUCH an idiot, how did you make it as far as round 3. I want you to sweep the whole thing but you should NOT be surviving this. I love you, here's a kiss, go home.
Surprises—Marlon Brando is gone! Errol Flynn is gone! Christopher Plummer exhausted himself beating the organic oreos man to death and goes out with a whimper. Beginning to actually see the roots of #mifunesweep as Tyrone Power, a hot man very different from Burt Lancaster, who was in turn very different from Tab Hunter, also gets swept under the wheels of the unbeatable toshirobus. Conrad Veidt finds that no amount of purring svelte eccentricity compares to the people who will fuck a young Lt. Columbo.
SHADOW BRACKET 2
Cannot believe it but Veidt loses this one too. Perkins sweeps and becomes Prince of the Shadow Realm!
ROUND 4
At this point I've set a formal bracket that I'm following.
Secret faves—this isn't secret anymore, but losing Jimmy Stewart hurt.
Surprises—The Gene Kelly/Jeremy Brett matchup was the diciest one all round, moving back and forth between the two by sometimes .01%. Far more surprising, however, was Cary Grant getting eliminated before the quarterfinals. Grant has never been my type, but he is famous for being THE type, so while the writing had been on the wall the whole tournament—how on earth did Michael Redgrave even get 36% in his matchup?!—seeing Grant go down was a SHOCKER. Other fallen hotties included Gregory Peck, James Dean, Harry Belafonte, and Sessue Hayakawa. Peter Falk finally met his match in Omar Sharif.
QUARTERFINALS
Secret faves—I don't know if it counts as a secret fave, tbh, as my horses in the race really went out with Stewart, but I do have a soft spot here worth mentioning. Here's my childhood dog, Keaton.
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The resemblance is truly striking, and yes, he was short, fast, and not prone to smiling.
Surprises—I couldn't predict how any of these matchups would go down, but I was most interested in Keaton vs Sharif, as they are both SO hot in SUCH different ways.
SEMIFINALS:
This was such a good batch of semifinalist contestants. By this point I think we could all tell Mifune was unstoppable (though I thought Sharif might give him a run for his money), but I really didn't know which way Robeson vs Poitier would flip.
FINALS:
I wanted Sidney Poitier to pull a last-minute sweep out of nowhere, but alas, Toshiro is just THAT GOOD (maybe. I will admit that I find Toshiro's domination a little hard to believe, given the variety and hotness of all his competitors; the man is hot but all these men are hot). I'm still happy with how the tournament went.
FINAL MEDITATIONS:
Biggest shock of a dropout: the loss of Paul Newman
Biggest "you people have no taste": the loss of James Cagney
Biggest victory: Paul Robeson making it to the semifinals over often-assumed champion Gregory Peck
Biggest coalition who deserve justice: dancing men
Biggest ask character: vents anon (currently eating Laurence Olivier)
Biggest, uhh, anything: how many of you are here! I genuinely thought it would be me and 10 other people voting for the whole tournament. I'm thrilled it took off like this!
I think that's everything, but I'm happy to answer addl asks. And THANK YOU to everyone for your tags, rants, impassioned propaganda, beautiful pics, and love for the hot men! See you for the ladies!
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youremyheaven · 28 days
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Jupiter's Boundlessness: The Union of Good & Evil
Something I have noticed for a long time is how Jupiter natives often play multiple roles within a single project. Be it movies or music videos, I often see them channelling the boundlessness of Jupiter by literally embodying several characters. As Claire Nakti explored in her Jupiter makeover video, duality and transformation are huge themes in the lives of Jupiter natives. This duality is not just a light vs dark one but also a masculine versus feminine one. Jupiter women especially being internally masculine often channel this in different ways. But beyond the "duality" is the "multiplicity", because of their vast, internal spaciousness they feel as though they are many many different people with many different interests and abilities. This is why Jupiter natives are kind and generous because their vastness allows them to literally put themselves in the shoes of others but it can also feel very confusing and tiring. You stretch yourself that wide, you might snap, feel empty and burnt out because you feel so chained by being a very limited narrow definition of "you".
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Mariah Carey, Punarvasu Moon
She plays both herself and her obsessive stalker (based on Eminem) in her MV for Obsessed
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She fights the evil brunette version of herself in her MV for Heartbreaker
She also has an alter ego named Bianca who is the opposite of her and even speaks with a British accent lmao
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Here is a clip of Mariah being interviewed by her alter ego Bianca
In fact, I'd say that having an alter ego is in itself kind of a Jupiterean experience since these natives embody duality or feel like they contain so many contradictory energies or that they're "opposites".
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Miley Cyrus, Vishaka Moon plays Miley and Hannah on Hannah Montana, a whole show that revolves around a girl trying to manage her alter ego.
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Dua Lipa, Punarvasu Moon battles with her other self in her MV for IDGAF
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Troye Sivan, Punarvasu Rising plays a female version of himself in the MV for his song One of Your Girls
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Ruby Rose, Punarvasu Moon, Swati Rising captures her transformation from a traditional feminine woman to her more butch androgynous self in Break Free
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Destiny's Child's mv for Lose My Breath features the trio battling their alter egos. Beyonce- Vishaka Moon, Michelle- Punarvasu Moon and Kelly- Swati Rising
I'm including Swati placements as well because I think Swati also closely embodies this Jupiterean boundlessness or multiplicity
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Beyonce, Vishaka Moon also has an alter ego named Sasha Fierce and like many Jupiter women who talk about wanting to be a man/embrace their masculinity/channel this in some way, she has a song called "If I Were A Boy"
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Avril Lavigne, Swati Moon played multiple versions of herself in the MV for her song Girlfriend
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Halsey, Punarvasu Moon and Swati stellium has such a wide ranging style, all their looks are completely unlike each other. I associate it with the chaos of Rahu more than Punarvasu but I do think the Jupiter influence also adds to it. They've also talked a lot about not identifying with gender/struggling with it and even has a song titled "I'm not a woman, I'm a god".
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The Weeknd, Vishaka Moon, Punarvasu Rising
"The Weeknd" is the alter ego of Abel Tesfaye and he has talked about "killing his alter ego" many times
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In this MV we see him battling his alter ego.
I think it's important to note that Jupiter natives are always battling their other half/shadow in all these examples. One is good and the other is bad. It points to the nature of Jupiter where all contradictions exist. Being that vast and expansive can mean being generous, compassionate etc but it can also mean feeling empty and vacuous. The extremes of anything is a meeting point for its opposite. Jupiter is abundance but its also the storehouse of karma. Do you notice how some people just have lives that are full of sooo many crazy experiences, both good and bad? Some people just don't have much going on and others always seem to be handled the short end of the stick. The bigger the planet, the bigger the shadow. The bigger the blessings, the bigger the burdens.
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Suga's (Purvabhadrapada Sun) MV for Daechwita sees him play both king and peasant and both of them battle each other.
He also has multiple alter egos (SUGA & Agust D)
Here is a translation of some of the lyrics from the song:
"I got everything I wanted.  What else can I have to be satisfied?
The things I wanted were clothes clothes, then money money, then goal goal, what’s after this?
What’s after this?  Feeling a strong feeling of reality check, a situation where there’s nothing higher. 
I had only looked up, now I just wanna look down and gently land."
Finding success meaningless is a VERY Jupiter experience. Abel sings about it a lot as well. Others work on accumulating things and its hard for them to imagine the kind of boundlessness of Jupiter, both in terms of latent potential but also in terms of the scale and expanse of what these natives achieve. If you had it all, would you find it empty and meaningless? I think a lot of Jupiter natives hold themselves back because of this, because they know the journey is more fun than the destination, that actually achieving your goals can be hella scary.
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P!nk, Mars in Punarvasu atmakaraka battles herself in the MV for Don't Let Me Get Me
The lyrics go like:
"I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else, yeah"
"So doctor, doctor, won't you please prescribe me something?
A day in the life of someone else"
The Jupiterean urge to be many people/somebody else is so revealing of their nature. They're always at odds with each other. Masculine & Feminine. Light & Shadow. Plus the boundlessness and abundance of Jupiter making you feel like you've transcended humanity and are akin to God (sooo many Jupitereans, esp men have a God complex its not even funny lol)
Its no wonder that so many Jupiter women often suffer from bipolar disorder. Bipolarity meaning swinging between extremes. This is literally the nature of Jupiter. Its a hard energy to balance.
(Mariah Carey & Halsey- Punarvasu Moon both have bipolar disorder, Kanye West- Purvabhadrapada Moon also has bipolar disorder Chyler Leigh- Vishaka Moon, Mel Gibson- Punarvasu Rising are all celebs who have admitted to suffering from bipolar disorder)
I am not a medical professional and neither am I going to assign mental disorders to different nakshatras BUT when I say imbalanced Jupiter energy manifests as bipolarity, I am pointing to the nature of Jupiter which makes its natives swing between extremes. Its a struggle to manage this and navigate this, no doubt.
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Lisa Kudrow, Punarvasu Rising who played Phoebe and her evil twin Ursula
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What's Your Rashee? is a 2009 Bollywood movie starring Priyanka Chopra, Punarvasu Sun who plays 12 different characters each representing a different rashi or zodiac sign
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Kamal Hassan, Purvabhadrapada Moon played 10 different characters in the movie Dhashavataram (referencing the ten different avatars of Vishnu). He played the bad guy, the good guy and all the other guys.
This again points to not just the duality but also the multiplicity of Jupiter and literally being many different people.
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Katy Perry, Vishaka Moon plays many different characters in her MV for Birthday
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Vikram, Purvabhadrapada Moon plays 4+ different characters in the movie "I"
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David Bowie, Jupiter in Vishaka atmakaraka, Shatabhisha Rising
Bowie had sooo many alter egos/personas, morphing from the flame-haired Aladdin Sane — a spin on “A Lad Insane” — to the clean-cut Thin White Duke with the greatest of ease. But his most famous alter ego was the androgynous alien rock star Ziggy Stardust who transported us to a glam galaxy far, far away in 1972 and 1973.
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Lady Gaga, Swati Moon
"Lady Gaga" is in itself an alter ego as is being Mother Monster but she also has a male alter ego named Jo Calderone. She became Jo Calderone for her “You and I” video in 2011. The singer even went to the MTV VMAs that same year as Jo, walking the red carpet, opening the show, performing and sitting in the audience as the character.
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The 1991 movie Dead Again stars Emma Thompson, Punarvasu Moon and Kenneth Branagh, Mars in Punarvasu 1h as two people who have double lives/past lives, the plot in itself is super Punarvasu coded with the same people playing multiple characters across multiple timelines (Punarvasu's deity is the personification of space and time)
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Lily Tomlin, Punarvasu Rising plays 3 different characters in the movie The Incredible Shrinking Woman
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Tatiana Maslany, Punarvasu Rising played many many different characters on the show Orphan Black.
The series focuses on Sarah Manning, one of several genetically identical human clones, and later on some of the other clones. The series raises issues about the moral and ethical implications of human cloning and its effect on identity. I had previously observed in an old post about how Punarvasu & Swati are connected to cloning and this is yet another example of the boundlessness of these energies.
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Tom Cavanagh, Swati Sun, Venus in Vishaka atmakaraka played 15 different versions of his character in The Flash
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Rachel Weisz, Purvabhadrapada Moon played both Evelyn and Princess Nefertiti in The Mummy Returns
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Hugo Weaving, Punarvasu Moon, Purvabhadrapada Stellium (mercury, venus and ketu) played 6 different characters in Cloud Atlas
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In Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, Alex Winter, Punarvasu Sun & Keanu Reeves, Punarvasu Moon play their evil versions.
The plot itself is very Punarvasu coded with Bill & Ted, two metalhead slacker friends who travel through time and beyond while trying to fulfil their destiny to establish a utopian society in the universe with their music.
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Deepika Padukone, Swati Moon and Shahrukh Khan, Swati Sun played double roles as lovers who are reincarnated in a different time.
Jupiter is the guru or teacher. To be many things is what Jupiter teaches. It is kind of like being God and if one were to raise philosophical questions, you'd have to ask why did God create both good and evil? Why did he create joy and misery? There is no other answer except that one cannot exist without the other. Jupiter embodies this.
I hope this post shed some light on one manifestation of the boundlessness of Jupiter<33
xx
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celestialtarot11 · 1 month
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How to reach your higher self according to Esoteric Astrology 💻💗
Hi friends! Welcome back to another post 🧿🪬 Today we’re looking at your Sun sign to see how you can reach your higher self. Enjoy! Please like comment and reblog to spread the love 🎉
First of all, why the Sun? Contrary to what modern astrology may present, in Esoteric Astrology the sun is meant to be tamed, not necessarily boosted. The sun represents the personality, the 3D self conditioned by opinions, narratives, and constructs created by other people.
Check your sun sign below ⬇️
Aries sun 🍵- Since Aries in esoteric astrology is seen as the rule setter, the creator of conditions, and also breaking that, in order to reach your highest potential you have to transcend the past versions of yourself. Transcending the versions of you that were created out of fear and survival is the utmost important. Aries also represents duality by the horns, the depiction of Aries is a bull or ram. This duality of Aries is spirit and physical matter. Aries can easily find themselves frustrated with the spiritual world and physical world, navigating and struggling to balance the two can cause a separation from the higher self. For example, following what others think vs. the intuition. Doing something different than what the norm thinks. Aries is also a sign of death, even if it’s exalted in traditional astrology. It’s important for Aries to allow themselves to experience ego deaths. The reason being is this: Aries is also described as experiencing a purification process through fire, their personalty (ego) burning to the ashes to see the way ahead of them. The purification signifies the end of narratives, false perceptions, and constraints created by society.
Leo ☕️- The representation and experience of us in a non physical form. To get closer to your higher self, let go of the physical world and the burdens attached to your energy. Experience yourself as greater than your physical form, and capable of more than just physicality. The sun plays three roles. Corona (what we see of the sun physically in the world) the heart of the sun (develops heart and soul) and lastly the Core which sustains our higher development. When Leos look away from inner work is when they can struggle to get closer to their higher selves. It’s important they continue shadow work to actually shine, as no light can exist without shadow. Leos have a vast life experience as well, and their heart and soul are meant to transcend in this lifetime. They are much more than their fears and anxieties, and past. Shadow work is Leos key to their higher self. As deeply as Leos can get attached to their ego, they can go very deep into connecting with consciousness. Leos have to maintain their individuality aside the masses. Its important to their connection with their higher selves, maintaining boundaries, self worth & value. Leos are represented by the Lion-essentially an Empress. Lastly, Leo reached The Child state. The free, individualistic, and pure soul. Pure regardless of others, regardless of their past, regardless of their fears. They remain true to themselves everytime.
Sagittarius ⌛️- What is important to Sagittarius is connecting with their intuition. A lot of us know the bow and arrow is famous for representing this sign, but sometimes there is a Doe at the side of the warrior. That Doe represents the seed of intuition, the subconscious, and the receiver. To get closer to your higher self get comfortable with receiving messages from your intuition, trusting your inner compass, and the path even if there are unknowns. Sagittarius can block out intuition to remain focused on the physical realm, and this leads to a blockage within themselves. So it’s important in this lifetime they allow themselves to feel safe enough to listen to themselves. Sagittarius benefits from having clear goals on what they want to focus on spiritually to grow, for example, meditation to help access their inner child once a week. Once they have their eyes set on what they need to heal, Sagittarius opens the doorway for greater awareness. Its also important they keep seeing opportunities for healing within the dark. Circumstances or situations may not be what they expected, but there is a lesson gained, a milestone gained, awareness gained, or self love gained. There is always abundance no matter what. A chance to grow again.
Libra 🌹- Balance. Inner harmony and ease. Shadow work to reach the light, and experiencing the light. Balance with spirituality and practicality. Seeing the facts and embracing intuition. Libra is represented by a flower, when the flower is shut it can’t receive, light and proper nutrients. When the flower opens and eases, Libra can receive intuitive downloads and embrace the spotlight. Contemplation is also another way to connect with your higher self. Avoidance of sitting down with yourself can cause separation with the higher self. The mind shouldn’t be neglected here entirely, rather, working with the mind in balance can help the journey. Overthinking suggests intuition needs to be present. Release the need to dominate, win, compete, and have a sense of control. To get to your higher self is to realize there is no competition required to meet yourself. Your mind can take you back to the familiar old ways, but the intuition will hold you and guide you. There is a need to follow a slow evolution and to slowly reach a point of equilibrium. Libras growth is not meant to be a fast paced, fiery journey. Rather a slow and steady process.
Aquarius 🌺- As seen, Aquarius is the water bearer usually balancing water and a cup. This represents constant duality and the transmutation of the subconscious. To get closer to your higher self, transmute and alchemize your wounds, fears into self love and acceptance. Work with the ego and soul to create mutual tolerance to benefit from healing. Allowing yourself to find your community is important to connect to your higher self. Recognize what you want to see around you, internally and externally, and what isn’t creating that currently. Remove what isn’t changing for the better. Jupiter is the esoteric ruler of Aquarius, so expanding awareness of oneself is important to Aquarius’s journey. Selfless and unconditional acceptance is important to creating and sustaining a connection with one’s higher self. Jupiter in Aquarius even in traditional astrology can represent this. It can also signify spiritual development and intuitive downloads, so letting oneself experience this can help the native feel guided and inspired. In esoteric astrology, the moon is also seen as the hierarchical ruler of Aquarius. The subconscious, the wounding, and the things that keep us safe. When those sides of us control us and want our attention, and we are incapable of meeting it, it can be detrimental. Look to the subconscious parts to see what is still controlling you or taking the drivers seat in your life.
Gemini 🌟- It is important to actually allow your higher self to speak to you and make itself known. Listening to its divine knowledge over constructive narratives that have kept others safe is important. It’s important to surround yourself with those who are in touch with their spirituality and live in their truth. Allowing yourself to speak your truth and divinely be guided in that is going to help your connection to your higher self. In greek mythology, Paracelsus says, “making commitment with determined resolution is difficult.” For Air signs what will help is consistency in truth, practicing truth and staying disciplined can help a lot. This helps the acceleration of getting closer to one’s soul, and therefore creating a connection with their higher self. Releasing resistance towards internal truth will help the native move forward in their life and connection with the higher self. Once we are open to the truth and practice what we preach, we fully let go of our own judgement and resistance. Letting go of fears related to your higher self is also important. Your higher self will not abandon nor create abandonment. Whatever falls apart is a natural consequence of inner healing.
Taurus 🌴- Attachment to desires can cause a separation with the higher self. It’s easy to think physical factors can fix whats going on internally, but the higher self encourages that we need only our soul. Taureans need to build stability and strength within themselves. They may look externally for relationships, friendships, community which is absolutely a necessity. But when they rely on it is where Taurus limits themselves. Their best relationships is with themselves. Take the time to pursue yourself and focus on a healthy relationship internally, especially with your higher self. In esoteric astrology, when Taurus does the inner work and transmutes their ego, they activate Vulcan as a planet. Vulcan helps illuminate shadows, brings healing and clarity. In fact, Taureans have immense will power and strength and they tap into that when they work on themselves. To get closer to your higher self, remember only you can set yourself free and limit yourself.
Capricorn 🌹- This sign is symbolized by a half goat/fish. This sign is not completely earthy, its watery intuition helps bring balance to its strict, structured and disciplined nature. Building trust and inner respect for your intuition will help you foster a better connection to your higher self. Part of the connection with your higher self isn’t fully meant to be logically understood. It’s an intuitive feeling your body produces that brings a level of balance. In esoteric astrology, the sign of Capricorn represents the full balance of heart and head, although the two may disagree, part of reaching your higher self is to balance these qualities. Accept the unknowns your mind may create, and your higher self will still guide you regardless of those unknowns. Build inner structure within yourself. It’s important to release the confines of your own mind and dive into the spiritual unknown, and practice an open mind. There is no structure when it comes to intuition, and no limit. It has no physicality, but it does communicate through your body and senses.
Virgo 💗- Release the idea of self perfection and mastery. In order to get closer to your higher self, it’s important to accept that this is not necessarily a destination but a journey, and there are no means to an end. You cannot master something that is still unfolding continuously. Release the grip of the physical, although it presents facts in front of you, its not all there is. To get closer to your higher self, its important to recognize that both shadow and light play a role in your healing. Virgo in esoteric astrology is all about blending duality, oneness, and creation. Creating light from understanding the shadow. Virgo in esoteric astrology is associated with motherly love and care, it’s important to heal mother wounds and allow yourself to receive guidance from the spirit realms, even if we don’t understand it fully. Know it is there for you and still accepts you. Work on the wounds relating to the mother, and nurture your inner child. The time needed to heal your relationship with yourself, and to create a relationship with your higher self will take the time it needs. Allow it to bloom. Make room for your soul to be born. Virgo is also represented as knowledge being put into synthesis or action, spreading and sharing. Share to yourself this vast spiritual healing and you’ll reap the benefits. Let healing be your mission, liberation your reward.
Scorpio 🌟- The relationship you have to your higher self is almost always near, throughout your trails and tribulations in life. Accepting the reorientation of your soul (lessons, truths, healing wounds and releasing the ego) can help you foster a better relationship with your higher self. In esoteric astrology scorpio is the sign of initiation, the souls opening, the beginning and ending. Work on opening to your higher self, and allowing your higher self to reveal to you all that has been hidden through pain and suffering. Working with your higher self can actually being harmony through conflict, as in esoteric astrology Scorpio’s 4th ray passes through harmony. This allows for consciousness, awareness and mindfulness in newer relationships. Even in oneself. Once you tap into the devotion you have for yourself, being with your higher self will begin to make a lot of sense as your higher self has the same for you. It wants simply the best and better for you all of the time. See the passion in standing up for the past parts of you, see the passion in choosing you over and over. Go back to your higher self for guidance on how to give yourself a better experience by being a better you.
Pisces ✨- Rejuvenation and rest is the way to meet your higher self. Find a way to tune out all the noise (ego, distraction, constructs made by others) and listen to yourself. Get to know yourself behind the filter and projections placed by others. Hold yourself in the most rawest and vulnerable states. As depicted by the two fish, one is life, the other is death. Subconscious and conscious. Forever the two dance together, so its important to realize having your higher self is the balance to your life. You spend so much time in the subconscious of others, absorbing wounds. Your higher self is the consciousness waiting to bring balance. Pisces in esoteric astrology is about letting the ego go, all of its attachments, personas, facades, dependencies. Finding true and real meaning in yourself. Fall back and trust your higher self (your other half) to guide you. The ego cannot survive in the healing of the soul. Know this and continue the journey. By finding the balance internally, your external will shift gradually. Give back to yourself.
Cancer 💫- Your higher self holds a ton of old age knowledge, so it’s important to be open minded to this information. Tradition may be important to you, it isn’t for no reason. In a way, when you pay homage to those traditions/knowledge, you give to your higher self. To your ancestors essentially. Cancers ray in esoteric astrology passes through intelligence. With your emotional and spiritual intelligence, your higher self is channeled through you. Let yourself learn about the deep nature of your feelings, the expression of it all. Turn it into psychological knowledge for yourself and others. Your higher self is apart of your family, it is part of your foundation and self support. Receive its guidance. The more you heal and discover yourself, your planetary ruler in esoteric astrology Neptune will heighten your consciousness. Your depth, awareness and magnitude makes you resilient and intelligent. Neptune also dissolves issues in the solar plexus the more you heal. You self confidence and trust within yourself heightens when you follow your gut, and build a healthy relationship with your higher self. Meditation, journaling, mindfulness, will help a lot in connecting to your higher self.
Thank ya’ll for reading! Its very much appreciated. Please comment, like and reblog for support 🌹✨ your feedback is appreciated!
Paid readings 💗🌸
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parisoonic · 9 months
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I just want to say I love how you do your lineart, it looks so good! ahhhhhhhh!!
I'm gathering a lot of advice about the topic of lineart and I just wanna know how you get it to look like that? My line weight is getting better but the drawing itself just comes out a bit.. weird.
Thank you so much! Lineart is probably the thing I've been working hardest on as I am not a lineartist (and still struggle a lot) but it's something I really need to get better at for my job. UM there's honestly so much that could be said on the topic of lineart. Big things for me are:
Weight -> Use line weight (aka thickness) to describe form, lighting, contact and scale. Thick lines imply shadow, contact and nearness-to-camera. Thin lines imply tension, recession and light.
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Straights vs Curves -> Use straight lines against curved ones for maximum interest. This is partly a character design thing but as we're using lines to describe our characters it's worth mentioning :)
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Complex vx Simple -> Use complex lines against simple. Faces are always complex so therefore the backs of heads should always be simple. Chests are quite complex so backs should be simple. Dorsal sides of the arms are complex (Delt, tricep, bicep) whilst the ventral side is more simple (tricep...mainly) etc.
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'Think in Ink' -> Lower your sketch layer almost to 0% opacity so you're not getting hung up on how nice/energetic your sketch look and instead are approaching the piece from an ink mindset. BUT it's digital! So if there's something in your sketch that you like just bring it forward (copy and paste) into your ink layer. I sketch and ink with the same brush so I can use this workflow
'Confidence' -> small hesitant feathery lines will look nervous compared to big swooping lines. Less is always more. I'll redraw arms/limbs until I can get the appearance that it was done in one brush stroke. Again it's digital so you can erase to cheat this look : )
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MISC 01: I always hear 'draw from the shoulder'........meh............it's digital so draw from your wrist...it's fine honestly. If we were working at A1 in a life drawing class then we could get some shoulder action going but most of us are hunched over 16inch tablets. I think this advice aims to pull people away from feathery-nervous lineart honestly which you can improve on without relearning how to draw from your shoulder.
MISC 02: For a 'smoother' look do your lineart at a larger canvas size than you need. Once I'm happy with a sketch I usually double the canvas size and do my lineart then.
MISC 03: In PS (at least) anti-aliasing goes funny at any zoom level that isn't in the 5 times table. So try not to look at your canvas when you're zoomed in to 87% or 71.39% or something crazy. Just stick to 25%, 50%, 75% and 100% if possible.
UNFORTUNATE TRUTH: Lineart is incredibly based on raw draughtmanship I've discovered. When you're working with colour you can hide a lot in rendering (shadows, highlights) or post-processing (depth of field) but in lineart all your mistakes are just...there for people to see. There's ways round this...which I use A LOT. 'Flourishes' (I use 'flourishes' to mean over-confident lineart where it veers particuarly thick or particuarly thin in contrast to your approach in the rest of the image) can sort of trick people into thinking you're more confident about an area than you actually are.
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As well as leaving 'breathing room' within your lineart instead of actually...resolving the area. I do this the most around the face and hands.
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Hopefully some of this helps? Honestly there's a lot of deep dives that could be done into indivudal things and there's also the massive caveat that all of these are 'guidelines' and not strict rules. I also favour a more...concept-arty? animation-y? storyboard-y? look to my lineart which favours flourishes and breathing room for a incomplete/work-in-progress feel which would make methodical colouring (ie: for a comic or something) a pain.
Keep up pratice is the main thing and doing studies of artists who you like that have great lineart - you'll pick up draughtmanship skills along with the lineart studies. Here's some of my lineart from a year or two ago...it varies between very 'standardised' (which makes it difficult to read volumes and to be honest, it's boring) and 'TOO EXCITING' (which...also makes it difficult to read volumes and for the eye to rest).
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I'd like to share my brushes at some point as I've found 3 that I really like and use for everything more or less. I discovered that a shocking low amount of people use PS on tumblr (shocking to me I guess as i'm so used to PS being the standard) and everyone seems to use Procreate or Clip Studio Pro...so I want to check that the brushes are Procreate compatible at least before I share!
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prinnay · 2 months
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hi
im new on tumblr and i trying to get critque and advice on how to improve my art, so can you give my page a look and give your opinion?
Hey! I like where you're going with your art. I like the stylization of your portraits and the sketchy lines kinda work in giving more energy at this stage. And I love your use of light and shadow!
I say work on your perspective of faces just a little more though, as a few portraits have a sort of fish-eye lense effect to them (unless that was intentional! If so, the effect isn't quite as apparent in the body vs the face)
This is gonna suck if you dislike doing these sorts of things, but I say also try branching into some backgrounds. Learning to plan characters in a space will help with their perspective and posing, as well as helping with the lifelong hurdle of anatomy. If you love doing mostly portraits then background studies help with that in terms of 3d space, etc. You don't have to draw like the Venetian skyline in the background, but something just to challenge yourself every now and the, that you'd find fun to try to draw. I personally think drawing something you think is boring/for the pure sake of studying doesn't really help in learning (if you're doing this for yourself and not for a job)
It looks like you're already studying your favorites so please keep doing that! :D
And always the generic advice of study more life, crits are subjective, do what you love etc etc
Hope this helps at all, good luck!
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teyamsatan · 10 months
Text
𝕄𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕟 𝕄𝕖 | ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕍𝕀: 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘'𝕤 𝕄𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝔼𝕪𝕖𝕤 𝔾𝕠 ℂ𝕠𝕝𝕕
Pairing: Neteyam x (f)Omaticaya!Reader
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synopsis: Even in your state, memories of your past can't help but flood your subconscious, as Neteyam has a conversation with his father that will change the way he's viewed the last seven years of his life.
warnings: 18+ minors DNI, aged-up! Neteyam/Reader, enemies-to-lovers, angst (mentions of violence, battle, blood, death), strong language.
wc: 6.8k words
a/n: this chapter was written to pretty much be a mirror of last chapter, with the same concept of flashbacks vs present time, except this time we get to see Vi's memories from the 7 years they hated each other, which will hopefully provide context for why Neteyam's hatred doesn't only stem from that fateful conversation he overheard, but also from her petty, vindictive actions, that only grew as time went on. i hope you enjoy this chapter, besties (i feel very insecure about it so pls go easy on me, i'm still recovering hahaha) x there's only two chapters left, and i'm already sad about this story coming to an end, but i hope you enjoyed the ride. pls don't forget to leave a comment or a reblog and tell me your thoughts, i loveee to hear from you so much!
na'vi compendium: txepvi  - spark, sa'nok - mother, ite - daughter, Olo'eykte - female Olo'eyktan, oare - moon, nawm - great, syä - bitter
: ̗̀➛ previous chapter (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series playlist (x)
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You and I walk a fragile line I have known it all this time But I never thought I'd live to see it break
Neteyam hasn’t blinked since the accident, it feels. He definitely hasn't blinked since he did last, when you opened your eyes and then closed them again, never to be opened since. He doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know why it matters so much that he stays so acutely present and aware, so that his eyes are locked onto your sleeping frame, doesn’t know why the thought of falling asleep and missing you, missing your eyes fluttering open or staying shut forever hurts him so beyond reason or words, so beyond anything he’s ever known. So he hasn’t blinked. Everyone else was long gone, including his grandmother, who hurried to the tree of souls to pray for the safe return of her family and the rest of the brave Na’vi warriors who were still fighting in that wretched battle, the one that seemed never-ending, the one that riddled Neteyam with guilt for not taking part in. 
“There’s nothing we can do for her now, ma ‘itan. She’s in Eywa’s hands now, we just have to wait and see.”
Neteyam hated those words. With a burning passion. Wait and see. So passive, so out of his control, so… hopeless. And yet here he was. Waiting, to see if you’d ever wake up, to see if his family, his mother and father, his friends, his clan members would survive the night and the challenge that might overtake them without him being there to help or stop it, or even witness it. Seeing, seeing you, powerless and lifeless, just a flicker of the bright spark you've always been, it stirred something in him.
You were so beautiful. He hated himself for realising it, but you were. You always have been, and although so much of your beauty came from the soul that was wild and untamed and too big to be contained inside you, still, you were beautiful. And like this, no usual frown or defiant smirk that you reserved for him, he could focus on your face and realise that you haven’t changed that much in all these years, not as much as he has led himself to believe in time. Like this, in this light, with a peaceful look on your face, eyelashes casting shadows over your lapis cheeks, your tahni glowing dimly and flickering softly, your lips slightly parted as you breathed in and out, you reminded him a lot of the Vi he used to love, the Vi before the ugly fights, and the constant war, before the hurt and the pain, before every day was just another opportunity to see who could hurt the other the most. He always thought you won those, all of those. 
“T-tey…”
His musings come to a swift closure as your lips move minutely, air barely getting pushed past them. You were speaking, and he felt himself coming back to life with each sound coming out of your mouth. 
“Teyam…” 
It's getting dark and it's all too quiet And I can't trust anything now And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake
“Teyam…” 
You wake up in a sweat, like you did most days these days since the Iknimaya, whimpering the name of the boy you used to call your best friend, that you no longer could, for reasons you still couldn’t understand, that you feared more and more you never would. In your dreams, you fight and make up, and he tells you he’s sorry and that it was just a misunderstanding and that he’ll do whatever it takes to win you back, because just like you’ve gotten used to over the last few years, you two will always be bound by the hip and there was nothing that could ever come between you. It was a nice sentiment, but one that never manifested itself to you in any waking moment, as, since your Iknimaya, Neteyam has treated you like a stranger, like an ugly thought he fought his hardest to banish from his mind.
With a deep sigh, you put new clothes on and struggled to eat a few pieces of yovo fruit you picked up off the floor on your last hunt. You missed the food Neytiri made, and although they still brought you nourishment fresh every time they made it, it wasn’t the same without the familial, loving atmosphere you’ve come to rely on all these years, so you barely touched it, choosing instead to give it to the other orphans of the war that hadn't been as fortunate as you. You couldn’t bring yourself to go back to them, no matter how many times they asked. Not when you knew that if you did, you’d be met with a dead stare you couldn’t handle looking into, not without crying, and there’s nothing you hated more than crying in front of people. There’s nothing you hated more than showing weakness, and he didn’t deserve to see you weak. Not anymore. 
Days dragged in training without someone to help time pass faster, without someone to brighten up your days, but they did pass. You had to sit next to Neteyam in briefings and in shooting practice, your ikran still played with each other even mid flight until one of you had to will them away from one another so as to avoid an awkward interaction, his presence and spirit was everywhere around you and in you and yet, it’s like you didn’t exist in his life anymore. 
"Come over for dinner, kid. It's been weeks. We miss having you."
You didn't know how many more excuses you could come up with to not do as Jake said, although you did suspect they knew about your and Neteyam's fallout. It was hard not to know, when the air shifted whenever you were in each other's presence, when it became icy and glacial and empty like a vast, cold tundra that you couldn't escape no matter how much you tried.
"Jake..."
"I know, you're sick and you don't want to get Tuk sick, you're too tired for food so you're just gonna crash in your tent, you have discovered a new allergy to an ingredient that Neytiri uses that's never been a problem in the years we've known you, but it suddenly is now... still, just come, okay?"
"Look, I promised your dad I'd take care of you. I can't do that if you're gonna push us away. Whatever it is between you and Neteyam... it will pass. You love each other too much for it not to pass. But hiding, moping, walking 'round looking hopeless and aimless - it isn't you. I need you to be the spark I know and love and fight. You've never gone down without a fight - don't start now. Ok?"
“Ma ‘itan.” 
Neteyam’s eyes snapped in the direction of the tent flap prying open, his mother’s lean, graceful figure emerging and he immediately rose from his spot to hurry to her side and envelop her in a hug they both desperately needed. She was fine. She was here, and walking and standing… alive. She was alive. 
“Sa’nok! Where’s father? What took so long? Is everyone ok? I am -”
“Shh, Neteyam.” His mother was a warrior, always. She was strong and capable and skilled, she was tough and knowledgeable. And yet somehow, beneath it all, she was still soft and kind and caring and empathetic, she knew exactly what her kids always felt, and she knew exactly what to say to make it better. When she her hand found the back of his neck, guiding him into her embrace, his face gently tucked in the crook of her neck, Neteyam found himself sobbing, finally able to let the pent-up emotion surface, all the anger, and sadness and guilt, and relief the last few days have brought washing over him and onto his mother’s shoulders, and she cooed affectionately, not saying a word. She knew there was no need for words, no words could ever made this better. 
“She’s dead, mum. Oare’s dead.”
“I know…” 
“Please tell me everyone’s alright. Please.” 
“It will all be alright, son. Everything will be alright.”
It will be alright… Everything will be alright.
Oh, I'm holding my breath Won't lose you again Something's made your eyes go cold
“Alright, now that you’re back in our tent, where you belong, we thought we’d celebrate both your and Neteyam’s incredible iknimaya! You both did phenomenally, kids, and we are so, so proud of you both. The youngest to ever have done it, too! I mean, I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty sure it’s all my training regi-“ 
Jake ceased his monologue as soon as he noticed the dead silence in the tent, and the awkward looks that Neytiri kept shooting him when she discerned both your and Neteyam’s gazes stuck to the floor, a cold look on his face and an uncomfortable one on yours, neither of you in a celebratory mood, neither really ready or willing to relive the Iknimaya and how a beautiful, ethereal day turned into a nightmare in hindsight, plagued forever by the ill-feelings now tugging at both of your hearts.
You stared at Neteyam, as did most of his family, even the young Lo’ak who could not truly understand what was happening, why people were quiet, but could still feel the atmosphere shift, the air thicken, the silence linger and weigh heavily on all the people present in the room. Despite it all, you kept staring, kept hoping that throughout the newfound ice that enveloped the golden aura that he always exuded, that was your home and your light, your biggest question and adventure, your safety net and peace all in one, the memory of that night, so beautiful and far-removed, would bring him back to the boy you loved, the boy you needed, the boy you missed.
He was silent, still, a frown on his face and anger clear as day in his beautiful eyes, that you barely recognised, that you couldn’t believe belonged to Neteyam, your 'teyam. You kept staring and kept staring, until you felt the so-far unflinching sadness and despondency stew and seethe, until it changed and evolved, until you felt the familiar bubbling of anger remove reason or rhyme from your soul, until all you saw in front of your eyes was red, and Neteyam was the one taunting you with the blood-coloured cloth dangled in front of your face. Neteyam wanted this? Wanted to dismiss you and discard you like a toy he outgrew? Fine. You would make sure he regretted it - you have always been wild and creative, and without him, you now had heaps of time to be both, at the same time, all towards him. 
“Thank you, Jake. We couldn’t have done without your help and guidance all these years. Thank you for everything you and Neytiri and Mo’at have done for me, and I’m happy to tell you that, despite my momentary lapse in judgement, I am not going anywhere. I want to be here, I want to be part of your family if you want to have me, and I will let nothing stand in the way of that.”
As you talked, you rose from your spot to hug your adoptive parents, and they happily returned the gesture, pulling you tightly against their chests and pecking the top of your head. Lo’ak and Kiri joined enthusiastically and before long, you were suffocating in love and care and familial affection, Neteyam nowhere to be found. You were sad about it, you couldn’t help it, but for the first time in weeks the sadness was second-place, and so you found a small smirk haunting you at the prospect you were hurting him even a small amount - maybe a small fraction to the hurt he’s caused you, but there nonetheless. 
“Also… do I get a special reward for beating the Iknimaya in record time, the fastest it’s ever been done? I feel like I’m well on the way to stealing Neteyam’s spot as the next Olo’eykte. Wouldn’t that be just a riot?” 
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Something's gone terribly wrong You're all I wanted
"How is she?" Neteyam's eyes were heavier by the second, so tired and spent in light of everything that's transpired, in light of the bustling of crowds outside meeting what remained of the Na'vi forces that fought in a battle that while Neteyam wasn't sure, he suspected took more lives than he'll ever be able to live with. Kiri was quiet as she entered, and Neteyam was grateful for his sister, who stood with him most of the night, who checked in on you while the Tsa'hik was preoccupied with other, more pressing matters.
"The same, I think. She hasn't woken up, I don't think. She hasn't moved."
Kiri walked the length of the tent until she reached you, kneeling by your side and pressing the back of her palm on your forehead. She had something wrapped in a leaf that replaced her hand and Neteyam watched with curious eyes, hoping that by paying special attention to whatever remedy that was, it would work harder and faster, would bring you back screaming and thrashing and cursing him out, because if there's something that he's realised since your accident, it was that anything was better than the deafening silence that he couldn't escape and couldn't imagine living in for a second longer than he had to. Anything was better than this.
"Her fever's not going down. I think whatever it was she scratched herself on while she fell was poisonous. That, combined with the impact of the fall... she's lucky she's alive, Neteyam."
Neteyam couldn't help the shudder that took over his body. He didn't have any hair, the way that humans did, but he imagined if he did, it would all be standing up like blades of grass on the ground, taut and barely-moving in the warm breeze. He shifted slightly so Kiri could perch herself next to him, arms touching as she leaned on him, before placing her head on his shoulder.
"Why are you still here, big brother?"
Neteyam thought about it, until he couldn't anymore, because the thoughts weren't making sense, because they all contradicted each other, because he was tired and heartbroken and distraught, and losing Oare was obviously making him soft and delusional.
"You know you're in love with her, right? Please tell me you realise this, at least now, after all this time, in light of everything that's happened, in light of how you've acted it because of it. It's been so long, Neteyam. So long of us watching you be horrible to each other and hope that one day, you'd both wake up and realise the only reason you're acting like this is because you're too blind to see what's right in front of your eyes."
Neteyam's eyes widened progressively more with each word uttered, until they were so wide it hurt. To hear it out loud, spoken so casually, as if it were a fact, shocked the Sully man. Us? Who else thought this? Who else could possibly be blind enough to perpetuate such disparaging ideas that made Neteyam's skin crawl even at the notion.
"I'm not in love with her, Kiri. I can't be in love with her. After everything she's done... everything I've done... this can't be love. Maybe it was, once. Maybe I loved her once. Maybe I loved her so much I couldn't imagine my life without her." Neteyam sighed, looking at your face, tears pooling in his eyes as early memories of young Vi juxtaposed against later memories of you, so many memories he wanted to forget and banish from his mind, so many cruel, harmful, ugly memories that made up most of his view of you now. "But not anymore."
Kiri rises from her spot with a sigh, patting her brother's head with an exasperated sigh, before she leaves.
"You haven't moved. You haven't slept or eaten, you haven't blinked. Our parents need your help bringing back the injured, the clan needs your help as the future Olo'eyktan, and yet... you haven't moved. I think that says everything. The first step in solving any problem is recognising there is one, brother. The sooner you admit your feelings, the sooner you can work towards fixing your broken relationship."
Stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had But I still mean every word I said to you He will try to take away my pain and he just might make me smile But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead
Desire burning deep in you was the only thing you felt as Akxo continued to trail kisses on your neck, a string of saliva connecting the purple lovebites that still stung slightly from when he marked you with them just a few minutes ago. With your eyes closed as they were, it was almost easy to imagine you were all alone, just you and this guy you’ve known your whole life but only recently realised had become a man, powerful and strong after just completing his Uniltaron just a few days ago. Despite your imagination, though, you were, in fact, not alone, nor isolated, but in plain view, propped against a tree of the clearing where you all trained in, that still had people working hard to improve on their skills, which is probably what you should be doing. But there was something so innately satisfying about doing this instead, as soon as Jake had to leave and tend to his other Olo’eyktan duties and left you and Neteyam in charge, doing it so he could watch, so he could stew in the bile that was his existence and know there’s nothing he could do to stop it, because he had no leverage over you and no power to hold over your head. Not now, and never again.  
Jake had been wrong. Whatever it was that happened between Neteyam and you didn’t pass, not a few months and definitely not now, years later. If anything, it got a lot, lot worse. Because while in the beginning it was uncomfortable silence and cold and unwieldy dejection, it was now fire and blood, it was teeth and claws, it was anger and resentment. You recognised a lot of it came from you. Most of it came from you. Because Jake might have been wrong about some things, but he was right about others. You’ve never gone down without a fight - and if a fight was what Neteyam wanted all this time, a fight was what he was going to get. Because while he might have been comfortable with the quiet, you wanted yelling and chaos, to reflect the hurt in your heart that hasn’t diminished even after all this time. You wanted to make him pay for banishing you from his mind and heart, from his life that you used to know so intimately, and you were good at payback, and continued to get better over time. 
“Are you trying to derail this whole fucking training session?” His voice, that you wanted to say hurt your ears, but if you were honest with yourself, it never could, not when it was melodic and beautiful, not when it still haunted your dreams, made Akxo straighten up faster than you could tell him to not bother, and you chuckled, a low and humourless sound that you’ve come to associate with dealing with Neteyam. 
“Don’t tell me you can’t ever handle a bunch of 13 year olds, Neteyam. I knew you couldn’t do anything right without me, but still, this is low, even for you.” 
“Akxo, I don’t think I’m making myself clear. She may be immune from the Olo’eyktan’s judgement, but you, my friend, are not. I’m sure there’s better ways to spend your days than wasting your breath on her. Trust me, she’s not worth it.”
“Ah, Neteyam, there’s no need to be bitter.” Your smirk only deepened as you ran your hands over your new flame’s abdomen. “One day, you too will find someone who won’t recoil at the thought of being in your presence, but you might need to work a little harder to not be so hard to stomach all the time for that to happen. I can coach you if you want, I mean… it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to help you, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.”
I know, I know I just know You're not gone, you can't be gone, no
“These are the last of them.” Neteyam tried not to recoil in agony at the sight of so many dead Na’vi and pa’li, so many ikran, so much loss, more than anyone should ever know, but especially their tribe, that has had to come to terms with grief in a way most other tribes aren’t, in a way that’s unnatural and premature and wrong. It was all so wrong.
Kiri was right, he had to help. He had to help not because it was his duty, but because it was right. He couldn’t keep looking at you, not when every second he did, Kiri’s words rang in his ears and made his eardrums pound so hard it felt like they were about to explode, not when every second he spent thinking of you was making him feel a mix of emotions that he didn’t, couldn’t understand, not when the exhaustion from the last few days made him question himself and ponder if his sister was indeed right all along. So Neteyam left you in that tent and put you under lock and key in the back of his mind, and dealt with the immeasurable loss that once more plagued his clan. 
“Nawm Sa'nok, why?! My son, my son! There is supposed to be a balance! This isn't balance!” The wails of the woman, whom he’s known ever since he was born, that he can still remember playing with him when she brought his son over his family’s tent, hurt beyond comprehension. The usual peaceful, harmonious laughter and chatter intertwined with the sound of leaves rustling in the wind and soft, distant songs of animals and birds were gone, drowned by the cries and screams by the people that were trying to identify the dead, and figure out if life would ever be the same again. 
"Neteyam, ma 'itan. He's gone, he's gone! Oh, Great Mother!"
Neteyam's breath got pushed out of his lungs at the impact of her body crashing into him, that he struggled to keep upright as she was buckling under the weight of her loss. Her son was a good warrior, and a friend. He couldn't come to terms with his death, couldn't understand what was truly going on, his mind almost protecting him from the overwhelming grief by numbing his thoughts, by removing him slightly from the realities clearly displayed to him, that he experienced almost like in a dream.
"It's going to be alright, auntie. We're all going to be alright." His mother's words, a mantra he repeated to himself every second, now the only thing that he could utter, the only thing that didn't feel redundant... even though it was.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Something's gone terribly wrong Won't finish what you started
Well, here you were, ready to eat your words, as the curiosity got the better of you and you found yourself sneaking to Neteyam’s new hiding spot, that he didn’t know you knew about, that you found yourself coming to a bit too often to call it nonchalance and yet, you just couldn’t help yourself. It was an itch you had to scratch, seeing what he was doing, who he was with, finding new ammunition for your petty revenge, it was all for research purposes, you always told yourself.
Whatever you saw here, and there were some wild things, you always kept quiet and left without ever being spotted, maintaining your cover and whatever dignity you knew would disappear if your friends found out you were stooping so low. But somehow, right now, watching as Neteyam was whispering sweet nothings in a stupid little healer’s ears, telling her how good she’s taking his cock and watching her eyes roll back in her head, your blood was boiling.
You didn’t know why it was boiling, it’s not like you haven’t seen him fuck girls before, or try to, it’s not like this was a completely unusual occurrence, but it was new just how into it the girl seemed to be. How desperate for his touch, how needy to feel him. Your fingers twisted around a branch so hard it snapped and you ducked as their heads snapped into the direction of the noise. You were just mad that you lost a subject that you knew got under his skin. That’s it. That must be it, not at all because your mind was conjuring all the ways that you should be in that girl’s shoes, and how he should be making you feel this way. No man’s ever made you feel this way. No man’s ever made you cry, the way she was crying, gripping at his back and shoulders so hard his skin was broken and bleeding. You hated him, that’s all. That’s why your blood was boiling. 
Well, he wouldn’t get the last word, not if you had anything to do with it. You returned to your spot around an hour later, half happy, half annoyed out of your mind that they were still going at it, and she was still screaming and crying, and he was still whispering praises in her ears, although they did have the decency to change position so at least you couldn’t see much anymore. With a wide smirk on your lips, you waited, until the unmistakable sound of footsteps echoed through the endless green forest. 
"Neteyam, are you there?"
Jake sounded angry, and you stifled an evil laugh as you saw them both scramble to untangle themselves from each other and from the floor, the girl's cries no longer of pleasure as she couldn't figure out how to tie her top around her neck anymore.
"Nete-, oh, my fucking God!" English came naturally to Jake, even 20 years later, whenever he was feeling any extreme emotion, and you were happy for the strenuous effort you put into learning it as a child just for this one moment, right here. This was all worth it. "Kole, your mother was looking for you. Can you just- oh, fuck - can you just go and meet her, please?"
"Yes, of course, ma Olo'eyktan."
You were still grinning about the interaction and the ass kicking that followed a couple days later, as you came back to your tent for the night. The smile faded progressively as you neared the entrance, as small whimpers and pleasured groans could be discerned vaguely, coming from behind your tent, a small nook that only you really knew about or frequented, that now was obviously occupied, by a person whose voice you recognised all too well. No way. Sure enough, as you snuck around the tent, a continuation of whatever it was you interupted a couple days ago was well underway, and you bit down a curse, enraged at the way not only did you not, in the end, get the last word, but Neteyam's new hiding spot was just about to ruin whatever remainder of peace and sanity you had left.
When you entered your tent, a small piece of paper with some writing rested on your sleeping mat, yet another human skill Jake insisted on his family to know, that you now regretted.
"This is for ruining my hiding spot. Enjoy hearing all the girls who don't recoil at the thought of being in my presence."
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Can't breathe whenever you're gone Can't go back, I'm haunted
Neteyam watched as his father entered the tent, a heaviness that he rarely lets people be privy to wearing him down and slouching his shoulders. Neteyam couldn’t imagine what his father was going through, couldn’t imagine how someday, he’ll have to bear this burden and do it well, do it honourably and proudly and still keep a head held high and keep it all together so other people can fall apart around him.
Neteyam had mostly love for his dad - deep, unconditional love that will never falter, not even in the face of adversity, or in the face of the deep seeded resentment that Neteyam still had after the years of torturous training, of pressure put on his very young shoulders, of guilt-tripping and being blamed for his brother’s mistakes, of being pushed aside and replaced with you, the perfect daughter who could do no wrong in his father’s eyes. Even despite all of this, Neteyam loved his dad. And yet, watching him come in, sad and worried sick about you, his lips pursed in a straight line, words on his tongue that Neteyam knew were coming and was terrified of… the love faltered just a little. 
“Mo’at said she got poisoned falling off her ikran.” 
“Yes. Oare’s dead.”
“I saw her in the line-up.” His father turned his sights from you to his oldest son, sighing as his eyes set on him, anger flashing in his eyes briefly before composing himself.
“What the hell happened out there, Neteyam? We were counting on you. On both of you.” 
Neteyam had no answer to that. He’s tried so hard to bury the thoughts, because he knew that if he succumbed to them, the guilt would eat him alive and pick its teeth with what remained of his frail bones. He didn’t think of how this was his fault, your fault, how if these stupid fights, that now seemed meaningless and daft, didn’t occupy so much space and time in both your minds, you would have slept, you would have not been tired and distracted, Oare wouldn’t have felt the nerves and fears emanating from you, and you would’ve done what you do best, inspire some people, kill others, be next to Jake, like you always were, like Neteyam was normally next to his mother, and get it done. The two of you were indispensable to the clan, as much was clear now. And although it wasn't fair, how much pressure there was on both your shoulders, it was the way things were. And now both of you will have to live with the consequences of your actions, will have to find a way to look the people in the eye again, knowing that you directly caused their family’s demise and the clan’s sorrow.
“Do you understand how serious this is, Neteyam? We lost good people today. Good people, strong people, dependable people. And the two people who I counted on the most left us all for dead, to fend for ourselves. This isn’t what I taught you. This isn’t who I raised, Neteyam. Even Lo’ak pulled his weight. We’re going to be reeling from these losses for the rest of our lives, and this has set us back months, and I need you to understand the weight of your actions.” 
Another sigh and a frown that aged the Olo’eyktan by a good 10 years was the last sign of disapproval before his attempt to leave Neteyam by himself, but for the first time in his life, Neteyam couldn’t let that happen. He didn’t know whether it was his words, or the continuous battle with you that he’s had to fight for the last 7 years, all years in which he’s felt heartbroken, and resentful, and inadequate, and pushed to the side, and ignored, and worked to the bone for very little appreciation, or the fatigue wearing him down, or the loss of your ikran, or the guilt that’s been gnawing at him long before his father’s contribution, but for the first time in his life, Neteyam’s anger was directed at someone else rather than you. 
“Understand the weight of my actions? Do you hear yourself right now? This whole mess, this whole shitshow that I’ve gone through, that we’ve both gone through, it’s all your fault. All of it.  This is going to weigh on me just as much as it will weigh on you, and the loss of these people, of Eywa’s children, will haunt me for the rest of my life. Of our lives. So don’t sit there and talk to me about responsibility, and about losing people.” He couldn’t help look at your unconscious form, that more and more felt like your own body was trying to protect you from the sadness that would wait for you when you woke. “I lost the person I loved the most, that was my shelter from the storm, a storm you caused. All you do is push me, and push us, and I’m so fucking tired of it.” a sob is all it took for his father to rush to his side, concern and confusion deeply rooted on his face as it met Neteyam’s, when his hands found his face and rose it to his level. 
“What are you talking about, son?” 
Neteyam’s chest was heaving with unshed tears as he looked in his father’s eyes through the fractured, refracted lens of the liquid threatening to spill. 
“I heard you.” One tear. “That night, the night after the Iknimaya.” Two tears. “I heard you telling grandmother how you want her to be Olo’eykte in my stead. How she deserves it.” Six tears. “I heard you… as you told her Vi would never have me. That she said she would never want to be my mate.” Too many tears to count. 
“Oh, Neteyam…” 
“I worked so hard, my whole life. I sacrificed more than anybody I know. And I did it all to please you, to live up to you. I did so you’d be proud of me, so you’d love me, and accept me. I did it all so I’d a good leader, a worthy Olo’eyktan, someone the clan can rely on to protect them.
I spent my whole childhood crying and aching, hating my life, wishing I could be anyone else instead, but I thought it would all be worth it one day because you told me as much, and that I have a title to live up to. And then I met Vi, and she changed everything… and I loved her, dad. And in one night you managed to take everything away from me.
Do you have any idea what that did to me? What the next seven years, in which we hated each other and competed for your love and praise, for your attention and affection, did to me? I’m there for everybody all the time. Every day and night, I am here for you, and for mum. I am here for Kiri and Lo’ak and Tuk. I am here for the clan. I am the mighty soldier, the doting brother, the dutiful son, the concerned clan member, the understanding karyu, the unbroken arrow in the quiver of your army.
Do you know there’s not a single day that I don’t hurt, that it doesn’t kill me inside, little by little, without a single soul to talk to, that cares or bothers to listen to my struggles?”
Sometime during that monologue, that Neteyam’s kept in his soul his whole life, he found himself in his father’s embrace, who was quiet and listened, who said nothing and just waited. Neteyam was sobbing in his father’s shoulder now, and he couldn’t find it in him to stop, like a spring that was buried underground with none the wiser until poked in just the right way, with unending streams now able to either fill a dam or flood a village. 
“Neteyam… fuck. I’m so sorry, son. I didn’t know. Any of it, I didn’t know. Neteyam… you never said anything. You never brought up that night, and I wish you did, son… I wish you did because if you had, then you would know that those words that you heard… those words weren’t mine, Neteyam.” 
There are very few moments where Neteyam feels like his soul has somehow exited his body and he’s experiencing a moment almost like from outside himself, like a stranger looking in. That’s how he felt now, as he could see himself removing his head from his father’s embrace, a dazed and almost uncharacteristic expression trying him. 
“What did you say?” 
“That night, if I remember correctly… we were talking about how well you did, both of you, in the Iknimaya. We were laughing at the fact you were both late, how I’d have to pretend to be mad and punish you, when in reality I not only expected it, but almost desired it, that you took that day to enjoy yourselves, to feel free of some of the burden I know I’ve placed on you.
I was reminded, seeing her, of her dad. Her dad who asked me to take care of her before he passed. Of the words he told me. That even back then, as nothing more than a child, he knew that she was special. That under other circumstances, she would have, no doubt in his mind, become the next Olo’eykte. That she was born for it, made for it. Those words always echoed in my ears as I watched her grow, and seen for myself the talent that comes so rarely, it seems almost like a fable. That I only ever saw in you. I considered it, making you both leaders at the same time - unheard of, maybe, but you both deserve it, you’re both made for it, and you used to complete each other, like two pieces of a perfectly fitted puzzle. That’s it, son. I would never want to replace you, Neteyam. I would never even think of it. Not only because you are my son, but because you are the greatest person I've ever met. Because there's no one else, there can be no one else.” 
Neteyam saw his face drop, his entire body shuddering under the weight of the new information, that changed everything, that he could have known all these years and yet didn’t, that shifted Neteyam’s whole world on its axis yet again and he almost wanted to reach out and console himself, the man that looked as young and scared as a pup lost in the woods, like he used to look all the time before he met you, like he swore to himself he’d never look like again after he lost you. His dad didn’t want to replace him. He never wanted to replace him. What was he supposed to do now, with this momentous information that he never thought he’d get to hear?
“I’m so sorry, son, that you’ve had to bear this weight all by yourself. I’m sorry for my contribution in it, and that I failed to see how I made it all so much harder to stomach. Your mother and I love you so, so much, Neteyam, and we want to be there for you, but, son… you don’t talk to us. You keep everything buried inside. We can’t help what we don’t know. We try our best, and we’re so sorry we failed you… that I failed you. And about Vi… Neteyam, you have to speak with her. You’ve carried this in you for far too long. You need to let it out. Let her explain. Let her give you an answer, or closure.” 
“What if she doesn’t wake up?” 
Neteyam didn’t know if his dad was saying this more to his son or to himself, but right now, it didn’t matter. 
“She will, son. She’ll wake up.”
The only other time Neteyam's left you since the accident was after the talk, the overwhelming urge to wash his face at the nearby river finally too great to be ignored. The water helped a little. It grounded him and nourished him, as much as it could, and Neteyam was slightly taken aback at the way his soul felt just slightly lighter, how his father's words, and the conversation he should have had years ago and didn't, changed so much in his mind. His father was right. Kiri was right. It was time to talk. Years and years of torture and pain, and it was finally time to talk. He just hoped you'd actually be there to listen.
Neteyam was startled by a frenzied Lo'ak, rushing to his side, panting as he put a hand on his chest, trying to catch his breath as he spoke.
"Have you seen her? Have you seen syä?"
"What do you mean, Lo'ak?"
"She's gone, bro. She's not in grandmother's tent anymore."
You and I walk a fragile line I have known it all this time Never ever thought I'd see it break Never thought I'd see it
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taglist: @fanboyluvr @theycallmesia @afro-hispwriter @soleilmoon @crazy4books1 @bakugouswaif@randxmthxughts @xreadersstuff @sirezaya @kimberlyshailany-blog @gyuventure @jujudsmyst @kikookii @nxptury @nonniesworld @koing-slvt @bakugouswaif @isnt-itstrange @tpwkforevermore @alahamums @tallulah477 @gknj9495@aquamarine001 @itssomeonereading @yumimak@sweetbread-m@eqgroil @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @juneonhoth @yagirlheree @jackiehollanderr @legendarynoodlebowl @iameatingmyhair @justasimps-blog@hannabanana-09 @xylianasblog @misscaller06 @yeosxxx @myh3artttt @teyamsbitch@musicownsme @i-live-in-a-fantasy-daydream @zoetrope1997 @itsmy-alteregohere @ntymavtr @curlszx88 @maki-z @riatesullironalite @baahsaama @luna-salem @teyamtesuli @koing-slvt @call-me-doll-face @puresirius-things @saturniac (sorry if i missed anyone this list is getting so longgg)
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tourneys-by-me · 9 months
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Welcome to the Element Specific Character Tournament!
This is a tournament is to see which character that specializes in a specific element is the best!
There will be 10 different elements represented in this tournament, and they are:
Pyromancy (fire)
Aquamancy (water)
Aeromancy (wind, air)
Geomancy (earth)
Phytomancy (plants, vegetation)
Electromancy (lightning, electricity)
Cryomancy (ice)
Ferromancy (metals)
Umbramancy (darkness, shadows)
Luxomancy (light, holy)
There will be 10 different brackets to decide which characters of each element is the best of their respective elements. Then there will be a final showdown of all ten characters to see who is the best overall!
RULES
Be nice and respectful please. I don’t want any insults thrown at anyone.
Characters have to use the element that you submit it as (ex you submit Zuko as a fire character, not a water character).
If the character uses multiple elements, submit them under an element they’re best known for/most proficient at (ex Soren fire emblem can use multiple elemental tomes, but he is a wind mage and only he can use SS rank wind tomes).
You are allowed to submit as many characters as you want but it has to be one form at a time please.
No submitting the same character multiple times please.
Please specify where the character is from and please no acronyms!
Propaganda is allowed and encouraged but no anti-propaganda (aka character hate).
My time zone is EST and I won’t be active all the time to answer questions (sorry I got real life stuff to do).
There will be certain guidelines on certain characters and media (I’ll get into more detail later) this is because specific media can be weird on how they classify what power is what element. Especially with certain elements being more vague and loosey-goosey.
I don’t particularly mind who you submit as long as they stick to the guidelines, but I might have polls if I’m unsure about a certain character.
Anyways I’ll edit this post as it goes on if more questions are raised.
Elements, Characters, and Media clarifications
Do they have to be magical
Toph is going to be put as a geomancer. I know she invented metal bending but she’s better known as an earth bender and I don’t want her on both earth and metal brackets.
Since Aang is the avatar, he can use all four bending styles, but he started off as an air bender and the show is literally called “the last air bender” I’m going to put him under aeromancer.
Korra on the other hand, won’t be in this tournament at all. Even though she is apart of the water tribe, she doesn’t really have a bending style that’s she more attached to (I mean she was able to do three of the four bending styles much earlier than Aang).
Todoroki won’t be in this tournament. His fire and ice powers are basically on the same level of importance.
I’m going to in-act the same rule I did for Korra and Todoroki for characters like Kirby and Arceus. Just because they can do/become that element, doesn’t mean they are going to be in the tournament. Their whole shtick is they can be any type (arceus) or copy abilities (kirby).
The exception to this rule is Ben 10 with his alien forms. This is because the aliens will be considered as a representative of their species, since 1. people are more familiar with Ben’s names for the aliens 2. Not all alien species have an official canon name.
NO DEMON SLAYER CHARACTERS WHO USES THE BREATHING STYLES! The breathing styles aren’t actually summoning elemental powers, it’s a visual metaphor. Submit only those who can summon actual elements!
Both rock and ground type Pokémon will be considered geomancers
Umbramancy regarding dark and ghost type Pokémon
Luxomancy regarding psychic and fairy type Pokémon
Aeromancy regarding flying type Pokémon
Ferromancy and robots
Magnetism: Ferromancy vs Elctromancy
Why I am also calling Luxomancy “holy”
If the character is a god that doesn’t mean they are inherently a Luxomancer. They have to have something holy about their attacks.
Please don’t submit necromancers as umbramancers. Being able to raise the dead≠umbramancy, if the character can raise the dead ON TOP of general shadow/darkness manipulation they are allowed.
Have fun and let the submitting begin!
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austinsastrology8991 · 10 months
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Secrets from > PLUTO < that he told me
Pluto is dark. And its hard to understand him. He is your shadow; he hides from you and you hide from him. But your both watching each other very closely >
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> 1 > The brighter something is > The darker the shadow. You cannot expel darkness, you can only accept it. Evil things exist and they always will. NO matter how hard you try to remove something with 'evil eye' or try to fight the good fight; whatever your fighting will always exist and the ever prevailing fight of; 'good vs evil' always will prevail. But everyone seems to forget that the darkness resides in everyone as much as their light does too.
> 2 > Rules don't exist; but we think they do. Rules funnel everyone in similar directions > When you see a rule you are forced to go in certain directions in order to avoid 'breaking the rules' but by not breaking the rules you are 'following the rules' and this makes you go in certain calculated directions (set up by people in power/social constructs) in order to avoid trouble. Or out of frustration you purposefully break them; so rules have a much greater pull on all of us then we all want to give them credit for. Also the mere concept of a law or principle defining how we must live; makes us all compromise into the laws of that are governing us. And thus; we are all products of our environments; of the rules we were forced to obey. Social constructs, government laws, or issues of any sort affect your free will, and whilst you can do whatever you want; there are many punishments awaiting you, which inevitably will affect your overall happiness/contentment because when you thought you could do anything; you realise you are very restricted and you compromise far more often than what you would like to admit.
> 3 > The more you front; the more your showing us who you are > When it comes down to it its actually very difficult to fool anyone. You may have the hang of it; but if you meet someone who also knows how to fool others; you will both stick out like a sore thumb to each other. And well once the jig is up; and the perception of yourself falls as it always does. You will feel like a pathetic person, and so it is almost always worth telling the truth; the longer you lie, the darker the dark becomes. To you and to others. and it will make the shadow work far more difficult to overcome. Embody your light as much as your dark and you will not be afraid of yourself let alone others; and you will not feel the need to 'front' > 4 < The more you prove yourself to others, the more you proved you are trying to prove yourself and rarely did you prove what you wanted to prove. You simply approved yourself as someone willing to prove themselves
> 5 >"When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you" > I love how everyone thinks they are better than one another, because we can point out certain flaws that maybe we are avoiding; to pretend we are better than the other. But your ratchetness is just as ratchet as another, or worse. Does that make you a worser person? well maybe. But that should make you feel pretty stupid for calling other people ratchet. People need to be told what is correct and what is not; but it simply doesn't matter most of the time, because that person usually is very aware of how destructive they are, because its hard to ignore the messes you create, and sooner rather than later, they will find their karma; so why intefere? work on yourself and become an example, don't adopt someones elses kids when they are already rebelling their real mothers.
> 6 >No one can or will hurt you more than who or what you love > your enemies may sting but if your love one hurts you, as no one knows you better than them, when they strike it will hurt. And sometimes you cannot recover a relationship because you 2 have hurt each other too much. Enemies will piss you off, but truthfully fighting enemies is good fun. Fighting love ones is a whole nother ball game and that is a far more plutonian thing. Sometimes it is necessary to hurt those we love so they learn a lesson, but far more often than not ; you both will cause irreparable scars that will leave a sore spot in both of your hearts. > 7 < You are equally as powerful and as powerless as you believe to be. Your flaws are as real as your strengths; and the longer you deny your strength or your weakness, the more it will sting when the realization hits that you are both. You are not worse or better than anyone, and the more someone pretends they are one or the other, the more pathetic they are. Regardless of which form they choose to show. > 8 < You can't blame anyone. Only yourself. If your the vessel of your destiny than everything that passes you is just the current; and you will have a difficult time arguing with the laws of nature. Learn to accept what you are and what is around you, and then you will discover ways to manipulate it. Do not try to educate something that is immovable, but allow it to pass you; in a respectful manner, that is true power; allowing something to exist and not let it interfere with your sense of being. Because you are able to be apart of the dark > notice how any light on in the dark is a magnet to everything that is awake in the dark? > 9 > "The most beautiful thoughts are always besides the darkest" - dark lives in the shadow of light, and because of this many times over when your fighting darkness its when you feel the most powerful; and its because you are actually embodying a more darker aspect of yourself, as you also embody a stronger 'light' within; "dont you know you can only get as high as you fell?"
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I don't want to talk about my pluto; I'm just discussing what pluto means to me. There are so many places you can find him, these are just some places I've found him.
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bots-and-cons · 5 months
Note
Tiny ficlet/or hc’s/ or whatever your heart feels
Ratchet befriends a local coffee shop owner (afab) when the owner swung through the hospital June works at to give the night shift nurses free caffeine on the house has a treat. June was letting Ratchet shadow her in holoform on her shift after Ratchet asked to learn more medical info for humans in case the teams human partners ever need med attention. Maybe light banter/ how relationship develops either romantically or just has friends / Mr- caffeine-is-bad-for-you-Ratchet vs up-all-night-barista-jugging-coffee-by-the-gallon
Uuu, I like this idea. I felt like HCs was the best fit for this. I felt like a scenario would get way too long for me, and it would also take forever to write, so HCs it is. Also I don’t drink any kind of coffee, so forgive my ignorance on that front. I tagged this as humanformers, since it’s holoform stuff
•He’s never been one for coffee, but he decided to try it out one late evening
•Your coffee shop is open really late, and after he tasted the coffee in the hospital break room, he wasn’t very optimistic that it was going to be any good either
•There were a lot of options and he had a hard time deciding, so he asked you what you would recommend
•You asked him what he liked and he confessed he hadn’t really drank much coffee before
•There aren’t really any other customers around, and you think he’s kinda cute, so you offer to let him sample a couple of things, and if he doesn’t like them, you can just drink them yourself
•You make him a latte and an americano and let him taste some of both
•He decides he likes the americano more and orders a cup to go
•You chat with him while making the drink, and he finds that you’re very nice to talk to
•Ratchet talks with you about some stuff, and before he knows it, his break is over, and he’s already late with getting back to June
•He thinks his coffee runs might turn into a habit whenever he’s at the hospital
•You hope to see him again soon, and he does come by every now and then
•You hadn’t been able to do it for a while, but you decide to take coffee to the nurses that you’re friendly with, and you’re hoping to see Ratchet too
•You close up shop and carry as much coffee to the closest nurse’s station as you can
•The nurses are all very happy to see you and a lot of them joke about how much better your coffee is compared to what they have in the break room
•Ratchet also happens to be there that night, and he’s happy to see you, which he doesn’t really make known, he just greets you kindly and the two of you start talking while he sips his coffee
•Ratchet still doesn’t exactly like coffee, but he noticed it helps keep him awake, and it’s a good excuse to come see you
•He starts to come by the coffee shop more and more, and eventually you ask him out by writing it on the cup
•Ratchet almost doesn’t notice the little text on the cup, and he throws it away, but as it’s going into the trash, he notices you wrote something on it, and he gets it out of the trash can to check
•He’s glad he did, because you wrote your phone number and a “wanna go out?” on it
•You notice him digging the cup out of the trash can, and chuckle to yourself
•Ratchet sends you a message like ten minutes later
•”Yes, I would like to go out with you” it says
•You’re all smiles for the rest of the day and to be honest, he can feel himself smiling a lot too, especially after you ask him “Where would you like to go?”
•You set up a date and as it draws nearer, Ratchet finds himself getting increasingly nervous
•He doesn’t really know how he ended up in this situation, but now he’s going out with a human, and he’s very happy with you
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lnmei · 2 years
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Explaining some of my color thoughts and process using this piece and my other recent figure drawings, hope it’s helpful to someone!
Setting up the drawing to color
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Final drawing layer breakdown from top:
Layer 37: lighten layer clipped to line art below
Inserted Image: line art set to multiply (because it’s non-transparent)
2nd Inserted Image: final drawing flattened (will explain why at last step)
Layer 35 : lighten layer to compress values for elements that receding and out of focus (back arm + leg for example) something like atmospheric perspective
Layer 41: solid color multiply for shadow
Layers 16-19: every element of the same color on it’s own layer clipped to the silhouette
Layer 6: solid fill silhouette
Color picking the base:
This is loosely what I think about rather than a hard and fast rule! This thinking helps me navigate when the colors don’t quite look right and applying a rule usually helps me work towards a direction I like.
When thinking of the light and shadow scheme:
Temperature: warm light & cool shadow or cool light & warm shadow?
Color schema: complimentary scheme? split compliment? analogous?
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When picking the light color base:
Even in the light areas things have a light, medium, and dark local value
I pick colors that read as the right value of the local color at the right temperature for the light:
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Coloring Shadow
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1) Reflected light into the shadow areas - typically I go for a colder and slightly lighter reflected light because in natural sunlight, the main reflected light is from the blue sky. Otherwise think about what the color of the surroundings are and reflect that into the shadow.
2) If the shadow color on the skin makes it look either gray or the wrong hue, true up the color of the shadow by making it warmer and more saturated and add warm reflected light to the shadows around it, such as on the shirt collar
3) Make the shadow colorful - add bright colors that are adjacent to the main shadow colors to make the shadow overall more colorful, and add colors that are closer to the local colors of what’s in shadow (such as blues to the “black” compression sleeves)
Keep value range within the shadow relatively close - as long as the value of the shadow is approximately uniform, the shadow area will read as a shadow
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Lighten-layer areas for value compression/”atmospheric perspective”: I adjust the color of the lighten areas so that local colors show through or have a bright accent - it looks nice but doesn’t detract from the focus areas with higher contrast, and gives an opportunity to introduce bright colors.
Even in low value contrast areas, the colors are legible as light vs shadow because they generally conform to the temperature of the light and shadows
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Glow - I like to add a bright rim to the edge of the multiply layer in a bright color that indicates the color of the light or local color if it was more saturated i.e. red, orange, pink, gold glow for warm lights, purple, blue, green-ish glow for cool lights
I don’t add this everywhere, just in the parts that I want to stand out more
Hue Variation
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On the base color layers, I add hue variations to add color variety to the lights. Usually adjacent colors but sometimes something completely different to add interest. I can also add this on the lighten layer if I want the bright accent to read as more flat (like the hair accent).
I also add a lighten layer with warm red/orange on top of the line art areas that are in the light to add more glow.
In the end, if there are certain color areas that just don’t look right, I will just paint in the exact color I want on a new layer on top.
Finalizing
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I export the whole image as a jpg when I’m generally happy with it, then mess around with it using color filters like the ones in the iOS photo app edit or whatever else. They end up showing you if you can push the colors brighter, which I like (I don’t always do this but it usually shows me something interesting I can try).
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I import the image over the color but under the line art and apply general adjustments to it (curves, saturation, etc). This way you can mask out different versions of the full image to combine versions with different adjustments.
I also select certain areas by themselves and adjust them manually to fine tune aka paint over if some parts don’t look right.
I like to apply a lighten layer to the line art which is on multiply, and use a neon/bright color to give the whole picture a bright rim. It just looks cool but can add a slight bit of new bright color to the drawing along the line art, which is interesting and subtle.
And that’s it so far!
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kosmokhaos · 4 months
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Hi love! Your sims are GAWJUSSS. Literally breath taking. I’ve recently got back into playing ts3 and am loving it. I was wondering if you can recall the skin and/or makeup&accessories you used in Nyanaath’s makeover update here: https://www.tumblr.com/kosmokhaos/733942789751078912/i-feel-successful-now-cause-damn-ignore-the
I’ve been struggling so bad to find skins of high quality and detail that are darker hues, or eye/nose masks that don’t lose detail the deeper the shade gets. I saw that you gave a resource list of skins a few years back when Nyanaath looked a lil different, so i wasn’t sure if there was anything relatively new that you used or not. I see the pores and details in Nyanaath’s skin and am just dying to know how to get like you lmaoo
First of all, Hiii and thank you! 😁💕Happy new year! Prepare for a bit of rambling but I link to some stuff in the end.
I want to start off saying that most of my sim pics are edited to some degree, especially previous pics from the past. I'm trying to rely less on editing to make my sims looks nice, but of course there is only so much you can do in a sims game.
This is an example of what Nyanaath's skin looks like unedited. EA lighting sucks ass and looks patchy in Sims 3 on dark colored objects in general and unfortunately, sims are not excluded. I end up smoothing the discoloration and patchiness with editing 😭
Before vs After
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Skins as dark as Nena's have to be made dark from the start because using a pale/light based skin and trying to use an in-game slider to darken it never turns out good in any game. Dark skin reflects light and shadows differently than light skin and needs its own already-dark base.
I will seriously consider trying to throw together a skinblend for male and female skins that are dark like this because I truly think there are none. BUUUUT LOL rambling aside I do have new recommendations for makeup and skin details since that post:
1. First up is @sourlemonsimblr for makeup. Especially for eyebrows and lipsticks! A lot of their lipsticks are insanely detailed and recolorable enough that they can fit most darker tones. Their skins are lovely too and they've even recently made a dark skin which I will💗Link Here💗. I haven't gotten a chance to play with it yet but they always have quality stuff. Take a stroll through their Downloads page because it's definitely worth it. 2. Next up for skin detail makeups is @smallsimmer. They have so many good nose makes and eye/lip details that can be recolored to use on your darker skinned sims! If you ever had a skin you really liked and wanted to switch up the nose, eyes or lips, their skin detail makeup will absolutely come in clutch. They even have a few converted for child and toddler sims (something ts3 is lacking in)💗Link Here💗 3. If you want some AF skins for darker sims that are readily available and detailed, I'd suggest @annoyinglydarkblaze I learned a lot about making skins from watching their journey into skin making a few years ago. Since they aren't as active anymore and their posts are a bit scattered I will link the skins I like best: 💗Here💗 💗Here💗 and 💗Here💗 4. My next pick for more masculine/male-centered CAS makeup and CC is @nectar-cellar Their cc has been helpful as I slowly update my male OCs. The Beards/detail makeup torso muscled-torso meshes and clothing are some of the best. 5. I also suggest @simtanico for sliders and their detail makeup. I have just about every slider they've created 😂They also make really well done maxis-match kinda styled clothes for male sims too.
I'm sure there are tons of other people I'm missing but its been a minute since I've been around simblr myself so I'll try to update this list as I go.
I'll also leave you with a little tip: Do NOT be afraid to use the opacity slider and layering with makeup on darker sims. Layering and opacity is your friend!
Happy Simming! 💗✨
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sexy-opium-ravioli · 10 months
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Photo Booth
Universe: Resident Evil
wc: 1,791
Pairing: Stepbro!Leon S. Kennedy x Reader
Warnings: Not many, just the fact that Leon is your stepbrother and he is .5 of a little shit. Otherwise, this is a good, old fashioned fluff piece.
a/n: Hihi hello hello :) I've been trying to claw my way out of depression for a while, but here's some cute Leon content in the meantime!
@lipglossanon !! thank you for being such a wonderful writer, honestly reading you has been really inspiring as of late! and your characterization of the Leons you have are among my very favorite.
It not my best work by any means, but I hope anyone reading this enjoys <3
--
The liminal space of a mall was the place where you could see through a person, like light through glass. You'd get to see what stores they prefer to go to, what mall food they like to eat (or if they can't), what they buy vs what they don't. 
Or sometimes, as is the case with you and your weird, pseudo-freudian stepbrother-boyfriend Leon, you just get boba and mess around. 
There were other things you'd like to do with him, sure. Sometimes you two would catch a movie- or fuck each other until you're both sensitive and whimpering (as young lovers often do). Really depended on the day. 
But it was earlier in the morning and it was a free, clear Saturday, in the haze of a temperate spring. And, the last couple of days were kind of stressful. Keeping up separate social lives, exams, dealing with your shared parents- sometimes just being apart from each other was okay.
You were starting to suspect something in Leon. You didn't know what it was, really. Everything was in a haze with him- truer emotions he always hid behind something snarky and barbed. And since you could never really get an accurate read on him, you could only try to squint in the dark and decipher the signs in front of you. 
Still, something foundational was shifting. And there was a strange feeling in your stomach that had been there all morning, and it wasn't bad, per se; but it was constant and unusual. You sipped on your boba and started chewing. 
You and Leon were both sitting on public benches. The time was before most of the retail shops started setting up, only the food court was open. You laid your head on Leon's shoulder and closed your eyes while you both soaked in the sun's warmth. 
The mall was bright and quiet, not many were there yet. You still felt a bit sleepy, but it didn't seem like Leon minded resting either. There was a difference in the emotions you feel someone going through when you rest your head on their shoulder- and the way Leon's was giving into the weight of your head spelled relaxation. The both of you spent a bit of your morning like this. You lifted your head and glanced at how the sunlight reflected off of Leon's golden hair. How it also cut a shadow at the curve of his jaw. 
"You wanna walk around?" You asked with your voice low, not wanting to disrupt the quiet, alive whirring of the building. Leon looked at you, smiled a bit and nodded his head before getting up. 
When you caught up to pace with him, you decided to annoy him and cross pinkies. He retaliated by taking hold of your entire hand, and you tried not to make a big deal about it. Your heart was starting to beat really fast, though. 
You thought he would let go after a couple of seconds. He didn't. 
Exiting the first floor common area to the escalators surrounding it, you both enjoyed the warmth of a second floor perch. Leon hasn't let go of your hand yet, but you were joking around about other people you were seeing at the mall, or the vaguely strange sale ads you'd see posted on windows. 
It was light, conversation felt easy for once.
And then Leon saw something, and you watched the way his eyes captured a glint of absolute mischief. 
Your eyes followed the laser point focus of his- and oh. 
Oh. 
A photo booth. 
And before you knew it, the distance between you and the box was already halved from Leon practically yanking your arm off. It didn't hurt, so all you could do was laugh. 
Walking up to it, Leon already got his wallet out and was feeding the machine bills. You decided to slip in and look around inside. All photo booths look different- this one was pretty new and sparkly. 
Not long after, Leon swept the curtains and stepped in with a mean smirk. You got yourself ready, trying to make yourself look alright while Leon selected to start through the menu. 
You always felt a weird sort of anxiety in photo booths. They never gave anybody enough time to actually prepare for a photo, but Leon was already doing someth- "Hey-!"
He quickly stepped behind you, caged you in his arms, gave two hand horns, and made such a twisted face he actually did kind of resemble the devil, because in his heart of hearts, Leon S. Kennedy was a dork. 
You decided that if he was going to suffocate you with all the muscle he was trying to show off, you were going to get a picture of biting it. 
The bite wasn't too hard, but the quick noise that Leon gave was mostly out of being startled anyways. He quickly retaliated by flicking your arm before posing for the next- 
"Let's do a nicer one," you interject, quietly and quickly. You both prepare and in time, you're smiling together while Leon has his arm draped over your shoulders. It all happened so quickly and concisely that the warm feeling you got in your stomach from all the affectionate, silly, friendly contact was delayed. 
The countdown started again. Leon almost shoved you in front of him, but instead of putting his arms over your chest and neck and face, (being annoying about it), he placed them gently over your waist. And then when the camera flashed, he was kissing your cheek. 
You turned around in his arms, not really caring about the photos anymore. But he was the one that leaned down and kissed you gingerly, and with meaning. His lips were always so soft and smooth against yours-
The camera flashed. You two were together a little longer, and then you both separated. It was a few long seconds where time just stopped, and you could swear that if you opened the curtain and tried to find one of the rare morning pedestrians of the mall, they would be left unmoving. 
But all you could do was look at Leon. It didn't help that he was so pretty. But there was this weird flash of emotion in his eyes, that same one you couldn't read and he wasn't looking away-
The camera flash made you both jump a little, and then Leon gave a quiet, nervous laugh to himself that sparked yours. He looked at you again, an upward pull of his lips that didn't seem too mean anymore. "Better get those photos," 
"Yeah," you offer back, already leaving the booth. He followed you, and not long after, the booth started to give out a noise before producing two copies of the same strip. Leon quickly snatched them before you could even hope to grab them, and he held them out of your view after that. 
"Leon," He was snickering. That pretty smile he hasn't dropped for 5 minutes now has had its teasing quality reapplied. Irritation quickly bubbles back up in your throat. 
"Ugh, Leon, you-" He does that little shit older brother thing where he lets the strip creep just into your reach before yanking it away a couple of times, but he doesn't do it too much. He gives you one of the copies after starting to giggle at you. 
You shake your head, ready to be embarrassed at your own face or maybe even his, and- well, the first photo has you laughing. Your head is tilted backward and your eyes are closed, and the laughs pour out of your throat like smooth wine. 
"Leon you're such a dork,-"
"Oh ok! And we're not gonna talk about the absolutely feral thing latching itself to my arm-," 
"Noo~, we're not," You interrupt teasingly, and you take a look back at the pictures. The air swiftly changes from playful, easy and teasing to meaningful, endearing- kind of tense in a way. Leon looked beautiful, and you looked nice too, and now you just noticed that Leon is right behind you actively gauging your reaction. 
The third photo was almost too sweet and intimate to look at publicly, and you could feel the tips of your ears start to heat up. Leon's face is mostly obscured, sure, but the way you react to why it's obscured is so sweet and genuine it kind of embarrasses you. Your lips try to hide a smile and your eyes are cast downward and away from Leon- low, but not closed. One of your arms rests on the lean coils of muscle wrapped around your center, while the other reaches up for your hand to rest on his head. 
The fourth makes you inhale a little sharper, and you can now feel the high part of your cheekbones heat with your ears. Leon's chin is resting on your shoulder now, and you can't even imagine the shit-eating grin he must be wearing on his face. Well, both of your faces can't be seen by the camera, if that's any consolation to your poor, heated skin- you might melt ice at this point. 
You don't know why it has you so weirdly dizzy, but maybe it's the way Leon looks so boyish, almost soft kissing you. His head is so slightly tilted, and the way his body curls around yours is just so engaged-
The fifth one is sweet in a different way. It makes your heart instantly crackle and spark for hope, which any sort of tired rationality your dopamine abused brain has left is probably screaming at. 
There's that fear in your chest, but there's no denying the fact that there's a light glimmering in Leon's sea glass eyes that you haven't seen from him too many times. 
It's a look that makes your entire body feel warm, like your skin is being pricked by needles. At this point, you've stopped looking at the photos altogether and buried your face in your hands. It makes Leon's chin lift off your shoulder, and you hear a chuckle come from him, but nothing sarcastic. 
"C'mon, stores are opening soon, weirdo," And when he says that you realize that there's warmth behind his words. You lift your head and look at him, and he's scratching his nose but- is he blushing too? Oh. 
Oh. 
He is. 
Probably not as scorching hot as you, but still. He starts walking, you start walking with him. And then, he takes your hand like that entire thing just didn't happen, and you find that you can't really stop smiling. Even if you reduce it to the smallest pull of your lips, it's still on your face for a while longer. 
--
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