#also the drawing next to this one is how her personality basically did a fuckin 180 LOL

[ryuuna]

Figuring out pre-tadpole lobotomy durge design got me actin some sort of way hhHHH

[paperw0rmz]

Can I show you how I look in a pink thong?

So the basic summary (from memory) of Kyle XY is this:

For some fucking reason we see this home boy nakid int he woods right, bro is wobbling like a new born baby deer. Dude is straight up a baby giraffe. He wanders around trying to figure everything out until we like walks into on coming traffic or some shit????

Okay so then we have this frame change to this family right. Basic white™️ suburban family. This mom is like a cop or some shit right and she’s like rushing her oldest child (some girl) and her son and her husband out the door so she can get to work bc she got a call about this teenager found naked and isn’t like talking or anything.

AND SO the woman goes down and is like “tf you called me in early for hes prolly just fucking drunk” and they are like we checked his vitals and they are weird but he’s not drunk and then she’s like “okay??? He’s prolly slow then???” And they went yeah prolly so she like weirdly gets attached to him already it’s weird but white women love to have a savior or victim complex so like whatever.

Bro also does NOT have a belly button.

Also someone gave him some like fuckin crayons and paper???? Bc development that is delayed = literal toddler for some reason. (I say as I, a delayed person, has a 64 crayon set WITH sharpener)

Bro starts like tapping the crayons on the paper like your art teacher in your sophomore year of high school forced you to do and it’s called #Stippling and you hate it bc all you want to draw is boys kissing

And the woman and some other people are like “lmao idiot don’t know how to use crayons” but then they look over at what he’s doing and it’s literally the most beautiful art you have ever seen but I don’t even remember what it was of, he draws a LOT so it’s prolly like the woods or some shit like a car or whatever.

ANYWAYS they are like “we will take him to juvie” and white mom is like “tf why” and they are like “there’s no room in the foster care system and no one has reported him missing” so she just fuckin takes him home???? Is that legal????

Oldest daughter comes home early bc teenagers can’t be teenagers unless they rebel and goes to shower? Dude is also in there and he was showering or some shit and is naked AGAIN and starts screaming bc why wouldn’t you there is a weird ass NAKED man in your bathroom. Mom comes running saying no no it’s okay he lives here now and daughter goes off cursing saying they can’t ever be a normal family and shit.

Brother comes home with dad, brother thinks it’s dope and he always wanted a brother, dad accepts it bc he doesn’t want to fight I think

Then they like put him in the guest bedroom and is like “you sleep here okay?” And he’s like :) and they leave and then the next day they find him in the bathtub asleep.

Also bro has not eaten ANYTHING

That’s all like episode one I think???

Episode two is them trying to make it about the kids showing the kids life at school and shit and also battling the fact who tf this boy is and why tf he sleeps in a bathtub and why he don’t got no god damn belly button and why he won’t eat.

This episode is like boring

Next episode bro wakes up and is HUNGRY and EATS EVERYTHING IN THE FRIDGE like EVERYTHING and passes tf out like thanksgiving style. Mom is happy he is finally eating even tho he made a mess and like ate everything in site. Dad is trying to figure out the sleeping situation bc the dude keeps sleeping in the bathtub when people like need it. So he then makes a little room in the garage or some shit with a bathtub? Dude sleeps there now and continues his crayon art and shit

I then literally forget everything else other than the fact he realizes he has powers, the daughter and him have weird as shit sexual tension, dude learns about a facility bc he drew it and then did research on it, we then learn that he is a CLONE (shocker) of another dude and that’s why he doesn’t have a belly button and has weirdo powers, we also learn of this other chick who is also a clone who then awakes.

This show was like on ABC family or some shit???? And was cancelled. It was so good 10 year old me loved it

[bugdotpng]

4, 9, 19, 20, 25 for the end of the year meme?

4. Movie of the year?

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once, hands down. i'm not a big movie person honestly but i'm so glad i went and saw this w/ some friends. left a blubbering mess. i can definitely tell it's one of those movies i'll be watching over and over again ;w; also watched the fear street trilogy on netflix w/ my friend and really enjoyed those!!

9. Best month for you this year?

probably february! i had a pretty sturdy head on my shoulders and was feeling generally inspired (artistically, mentally, etc.) and stable having experienced the fleeting confidence that came with a diagnosis that i (at the time) thought was really fitting. it didn't last long but it was nice to feel confident for a while that i knew how to approach stuff moving forward. this year generally sucked but i wasn't so horribly burnt out for the beginning of it, so that was nice :'^)

19. What’re you excited about for next year?

having a game plan! i got diagnosed with ADHD in the later part of this year AND i addressed some of my career-related burnout issues with my boss (due to being severely overworked and underpaid, etc.) and visible changes are ACTUALLY being made. i feel like even though this year was objectively fucking awful, i spent a lot of time performing the very arduous task of laying a good foundation for not only next year, but the rest of my life lmao i was able to prioritize stuff and draw some hard boundaries with myself toward the end of the year and i hope to stick to them next year

20. What’s something you learned this year?

i think my answer for 19 suffices here, but in a more literal sense, i learned a lot of neat coding stuff for work! i'm MUCH better than where i was at the beginning of the year and i'm picking up stuff really quick ;w;

25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

MANY lmao, i got to make a little rock gremlin kid named ferris for our alolan pkmn ttrpg campaign (which we haven't played much of but i love ferris a BUNCH)

i also sat down and made like three new characters for my lesbian space catgirls story :^) ideally in a perfect world i would actually make this a little dating sim but for now it's just a word doc lmao. but in my head?? basically a dating sim with cute little tasks and dialogue options to win the favor of the romance-able characters.

i'm particularly fond of merrit, who is an anti-social basement-wizard merchant very passionate about her wares. her role is to just sell shit but you can also romance her by asking her to info-dump about her favorite featured items. she initially comes off as a kinda cold and aloof mysterious cool kid, but after you earn her trust you can see she's a huge fuckin dweeb. i cherish her deeply ghdlfjsk no snart that i wanna share yet tho i'm currently just rotating her in my head :^) she wears a cape with a hood and has SO many pockets

[mauesartetc]

Hey, what made you think that Vivziepop was stealing/copying other artists for Andrealphus's design?

I mean

It's weird that Viv gave human hair to a bird, and the fact that OG Andrealphus has nothing to do with ice is a massive red flag this guy's ripped off from Elsa.

This isn't the first suspicious design she's* churned out, either. Some o' y'all might remember this image from my Striker redesign post:

Notice these two villainous cowboys with tiny mustaches and nearly-identical eye and eyebrow shapes. They almost look traced, and unfortunately, that's nothing new for Viv.

*(EDIT 8/12/23: Fact check via erinfrostart in the comments: "Viv did not design Striker, one of her designers did. I watched Striker being designed, and as much as I’m no fan of Viv I can confirm he was designed before Long Gone Gulch premiered." Important clarification. Thanks! Others who worked on the show around this time are welcome to share their perspectives as well. I know how the situation appears to me as a viewer, but I'm sorry my phrasing laid blame where it wasn't deserved. I assumed malice where ignorance was the more likely reality. My bad. Now if someone has a convincing, non-theft explanation for Andrealphus, I'd be very curious to hear it.)

But wait, there's more.

It always struck me as odd that Fat Nuggets' original name was Wiggles, which is dangerously close to Waddles from Gravity Falls. And his design from the Addict video sports a ton of similarities. I went ahead and recolored Waddles for the hell of it, and uh...

Also note how Fat Nuggets’ snout is just Waddles’ snout upside down.

Y’all might be thinking "C'mon, Maue. That's a coincidence. How many possible ways are there for a person to design a cartoon pig, anyway?" Quite. A bit.

Look at all the variety in how different artists interpreted the same animal (ok, a warthog's not a domestic pig, but still a pig). This is likely due to their confidence and trust in their own visions, and willingness to draw from real-life inspirations rather than copy other animated productions. When an artist directly "borrows" from another's work, it leaves their own with a faded Xerox-of-a-Xerox quality. It's better to stay true to their own experience rather than mimic an experience manufactured by others.

When designs by two different people (or teams of people) working on completely different projects have as many similarities as Andrealphus has with Elsa, or Fat Nuggets has with Waddles, that’s no accident. That’s calculated. 

I’m sure Viv thinks what she’s doing is just an “homage” or some shit, but copyright holders won’t see it that way. Years ago, a client tasked me with designing a Willy Wonka parody character, so I whipped up a dude in my own style with similar hair and clothes. It was innocent enough; I wasn’t trying to rip off anything. I thought the design would help the audience tell it was a Wonka parody while still being its own thing. I thought that would work, but... My client relayed a blunt message from his lawyer basically saying “um NAH don’t fuckin’ use this”, so I changed up the colors and clothing style and it was fine after that.

If Viv continues to pull this shit in Hazbin and Helluva, she’ll find herself in legal trouble. Obviously there’s no such thing as a completely original idea, but this is just lazy. Fortunately, I’m sure at least Hazbin’s design team (less sure about Helluva’s since they let Andrealphus slip through the cracks) will filter out these bad habits and won’t be afraid to tell her “no” now and then. It’s for her own good.

 “But Maue”, you might be wondering, “How do we ‘stay true to our own experience’? How do we collect visual references for what we want to make without copying someone else’s design?” Well, this post’s long enough, so I’ll answer that in a subsequent entry. But here’s a hint:

Photos.

‘Til next time.

[therealnuclearplatypus]

random solangelo hcs cuz i don't do much of those (have i even ever?)—

will :)

ayo okay so let's just start off by saying will ain't ur soft boi stereotype okay

my bitch is texas born n raised y'all, he gets pissed sUPER easily (he better get to go fuckin apeshit in the upcoming solangelo novel or im throwing hands). nico is made out to be the scarier one, but its only because the times his rage truly erupts in a way that terrifies are few and far between so they seem a lot scarier than they would be if he did it on the daily like will does.

ffs this boy snaps at people if they take too long to cut him a bandage like "sweet HOLY lawd I'll just do it myself next time" but doesn't actually

but he gets over his little hissy fits quite easily so that's fine

he got his tattoo from a sibling who's not a year-rounder and is training to be a tattoo artist. even though he was like, what, fifteen when he got it, his big sib didn't really care because will knows what he's doing

except not really, people forget he's human too, not just 'the medic' or 'the sunshine guy'

anw he showed it to nico all excited and nico almost drooled

will likes roller-skating, fight me👊

he also tries vaping one time and stops because he liked it so much he knew he'd get addicted

same as when he smoked weed once. also nico had gotten really worried when he'd heard and will didn't wanna make him worry

but then when they grew older they both ended up smoking pot from time to time anyways

nico :)

nico likes to read shakespeare. his favourite play is twelfth night because that is also my favourite shakespearean play i don't make the rules except i do

he also has a soft spot for romantic poetry. it pisses him off to no end when people say "oh, you like love poems? i didn't think you would like those kinds of things" because first off, why the hell wouldn't he? (he's secretly a hopeless romantic, much to will's delight). and secondly, he means poems of the romantic MOVEMENT. the romantic POETS. yeats, shelley, those guys. his personal favourite is keats, and his favourite poem is la belle dame sans merci. (this one is basically all me but im projecting onto nico okay don't judge me)

he occasionally writes poetry himself but never shows them to anyone, not even will. they're his own thing. will knows he writes them, but he knows not to ask to read them (as much as he'd like to) because they're nico's private space. (sorry, projecting again 😞)

one time nico was hanging out with drew in the aphrodite cabin (nico×drew friendship >>>) and she was painting her nails all glittery n pink, when she jokingly grabbed the black nail polish and painted nico's pinky. he didn't even flinch and she ended up painting all ten fingernails and that's how nico got into painting his nails

p i e r c i n g s !!

like, i. canNOT. stress this enough. he has like a bajillion on his ears, two on his lip, a septum nose ring, and he even dared to get one on his left eyebrow. will loves em

he lets his hair grow out a bit. not, like, reeeaaally long. just, wolfcut style, ig? and he ties it up in a smol bun or ponytail and will is LIVING for it

he also wears skirts from time to time, just for will. he also gets a moon tattoo on his left pectoral to match will's sun tattoo on his right pec

he steals will's shirts because what else are boyfriends for

he likes to draw but isn't very good at drawing people. landscapes, though? mary mother of christ hes talented at those. whenever he draws one from tartarus whoever sees them has to physically repress a shudder at their vivid detail

he has a gap between his two front teeth that was a lot wider when he was little but is still kinda noticeable now

solangelo :)

they're both little spoon and big spoon. they both need to protect and be protected.

they communicate in italian (nico is italian, italian is the language of music, yadda yadda yadda)

nico plays the piano and will can sorta twang the harp? so sometimes they just sit together and play and it brings them peace

they're both MASSIVE mcr fans shut up you know its true

so's thalia and percy too a bit so one time all four of em go see a concert and will admits that gerard way was his bi awakening and nico's like "i know that"

they watched glee and lowkey loved it but they like laughing at mr schue

they have matching heartstopper pfps on insta <33

nico has charlie and will has nick duhh

they also have matching bios! they change it often but it always matches :]]

they also match jewellery (im just manifesting couple goals for myself atp)

they watched young royals and now have a picture of august's head on a dartboard just so they can throw darts at him (nico occasionally throws knives)

when nico meets naomi he's initially really scared, but naomi ends up loving him to bits and tells will he's lucky they're dating or else she would've adopted him

they end up getting married at like 18-ish and go live in washington dc, because nico wanted to go back there, and will becomes a paediatrician and nico a professor of literature. they live with the most dramatic-ass fucking cat and a little daughter named bianca maria di angelo-solace :>

yeahh okay bye <3

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 12/2021) - Exiting the Vault

After Sam finally checks the cell and discovers that Tommy is alive, Tommy exits Pandora’s Vault at last. Everyone on the server starts coming to terms with Tommy’s return, while both Tommy and Ranboo are set on a new goal:

To kill Dream for good.

---

VOD LINKS:

Foolish

Tubbo

Fundy

Tommy

Jack Manifold

Ranboo

Eret

---

- Tommy is in prison. Still there.

Dream: “I’m starving! Can you give me that? Can I have that?”

- Tommy throws him a potato.

Tommy: “I only have one.”

Dream: “Oh, well you can have it then.”

- Tommy eats some potatoes.

Tommy: “I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why do you look like that?”

Dream: “It’s a mask.”

- They talk about Dream face-revealing and Tommy concludes that it must be sewn onto his face.

Dream: “Sam has not visited us in like a week! He hates me!”

- Tommy throws him the last of his potatoes. There’s no way of knowing how long time’s passed in the cell.

Tommy: “I’m still...I can’t believe you did that.”

Dream: “You were the one pushing me to do it! You were basically begging me to!”

- Tommy throws an item frame, a book and two potatoes into the lava.

- He boasts that he hasn’t cried 

- Tommy sees Sam’s nametag by the lava and rushes over. Sam tells Tommy to run to the corner and Tommy gets out via damage pot. Tommy confronts Sam about letting him die. Sam is just shocked to see him alive.

- Tommy flicks the switches to let the lava down, wanting to look at Dream. He says a last “fuck you” and walks after Sam to get out.

Tommy: “Suck it, green boy.”

- Tommy tells Sam off for failing at his job again, as they go through the security measures.

Tommy: “Sam, you kept me in this prison for thirty-two days!”

Sam: “Tommy, I didn’t even know you were here -- I haven’t even gone to feed him!”

- He tells Sam that Dream is going to escape.

Tommy: “You are now the most powerful man on this server -- not Dream, you are, ‘cause you withhold him! And you can’t even stop him from killing me! You’re not qualified to run this prison, Sam.But that’s beyond the point, alright? Look at me -- Dream is going to escape, he told me that he’s planning on escaping, alright? Technoblade owes him a favor, Technoblade owes him a favor -- I’ve seen everything!”

- Tommy tells Sam that he can’t have any visitors ever. He tells Sam about the revive book, that that’s how he’s back.

- Tommy exits through the Nether portal. The first thing he sees when he gets out is the giant penis statue.

- He starts walking down the path and sees Tubbo working on Bee ‘n’ Boo. Tubbo sees him and runs away initially. He doesn’t believe Tommy is real.

- Tommy points out the bench where they listened to music after defeating Dream -- but they didn’t defeat Dream, and now they need to kill him and also probably Technoblade.

- Tubbo tells Tommy about the inn and also getting married.

- Next, Tommy speaks with Sam Nook and sees Jack Manifold at the desk. Jack is outraged.

Jack: “No, you’re dead, you’re dead! You died, I grieved for you! You’re not back! No one comes back, I mean -- oh -- MOST people don’t come back!”

Tommy: “No I’m alright. Anyway, um --”

- Jack is furious. He tells Tommy he’s been trying to kill him for two months.

Jack: “That’s the problem. All the time, you belittle me, you dismiss me, you drop me in a pool of lava, I’m the only person who tried to visit you when you were in exile, and you forget me! Like I’m nothing! And when I try and finally get my own back, I launch NUKES at you and you didn’t even care!”

- Tommy talks about Moana. Then they argue some more.

Tommy: “Jack, what you’re doing here is creating a villain for yourself, alright? And when I was gone, you didn’t have that. You’re so glad I’m back, you need to stop -- you’re just creating a villain out of nowhere, alright?”

- Tommy tells Jack he’s changed, he’s seen things in death, he’s trying to hold himself together like it’s still the old him, but he’s struggling.

- Jack draws his axe. Tommy tells him to put it away.

Jack: “You died and you think you’re all that, you think you learned everything. I died! We died! I died because of you!”

- Tommy leaves the hotel, telling Jack he can keep the hotel for now while he deals with bigger issues.

Jack: “This isn’t the end.”

Tommy: “It probably is.”

- Tommy sees Tubbo watching him from on top of the McPuffy’s.

Tommy: “He’s staring at me like I’m not even real. And he’s got a new best friend -- a new husband!”

- He sees all the statues by his house. Connor is inside, freaked out to see him. 

- Tommy tells Connor to move out again, and Connor gives him his diary -- Connor misses Schlatt, wants to solve mortality, knows Karl’s secret (thinks he should see a doctor) and missed Tommy when he died.

- Tommy tells Connor what he went through. Connor says they need prison reform. Tommy tells Connor that Sam isn’t fit to run the prison, and Connor moves back into Ninja’s house. 

- He takes a quick look at L’manhole.

Tommy: “I fuckin’ miss when times were simpler, and all I had to worry about was defeating one big green guy. And all I had to do was follow someone else’s lead. And now it looks like I’m gonna have to follow my own lead. So the server seems to have changed a lot.”

- As he walks down the stairs, Antfrost stares at him and backs away. Tommy wonders why no one’s treating him normally.

- He finds Ranboo by the ice cream shop, Tubbo coming along as well. Ranboo asks about what happened -- did Sam lie? Tommy doesn’t want to talk about dying.

- Tommy asks if Tubbo is Ranboo’s best friends. Ranboo says he’s one of them and hands Tommy an allium. Tommy burns it.

- Tommy continues along the path and notices the Therapuffy office. He drops a book in the chest. He also notices the Red Banquet posters.

- Tommy feels like even though he’s back, he’s not. People celebrated his death.

Tommy: “This server was -- this server wasn’t about this, it was about me and Tubbo fighting Dream! I’m still dead to most of these people...They’re looking at me like I’m not even alive.”

- He finds Quackity by the Community House. Quackity thinks it must be some sort of sick joke. Tommy reminds him of the heists they used to do to convince him that it’s actually him.

- Tommy tells Quackity that Dream used the revive book. Quackity is overjoyed at his return.

- Tommy leaves and goes up towards the Nether portal. He decides that he needs to kill Dream, and soon.

- Jack is upset that Tommy came back. It took him dying for Jack to remember Tommy as a friend again, but when he came back, it all came flooding back.

“But when he came back today, he said a couple things that have stuck with me. The main one being...a simple word. He turned to me, looked me dead in the eyes, and he went ‘anyways.’ Anyways.”

- Jack decides he’s done with starting again. 

“But the day he died, the day he was killed by Dream was not the day I should’ve grieved. I lost my friend a long, long time ago...I lost my friend a long time ago, the day he decided those discs were more important than any of us. The day he got rid of L’manburg, the day he sacrificed absolutely everything to take back those discs! That’s the day I lost my friend.”

“Him coming back today doesn’t bring back my friend. It doesn’t fill the empty void I felt when he died. All it has done is given me a new purpose.”

- Jack decides he needs to kill Tommy. His friend died a long time ago. He talks about how even when Dream is locked away, Tommy isn’t satisfied and is still going after him.

- Jack came back because he had a purpose. And that purpose was to take Tommy out.

“I’m glad I grieved my friend, and I’m still sad and hurt that he’s gone. But my friend didn’t come back. Dream didn’t bring back my friend with that book, he brought back a monster.”

- Dream brought Tommy back out of cowardice, fearing the server without him. Jack is better than Dream. 

- Jack heads into the underground city and speaks with Niki. Jack tells her Tommy’s alive again. Niki isn’t sure she wants Tommy dead anymore.

- They start talking about government and anarchy. Niki says her underground city isn’t a government, while Jack disagrees with anarchy. 

- Niki says she’s started baking again. She says she’ll give it time to think about it, whether to help Jack. In the meantime, he’s free to stay in the city.

- Jack returns to his hotel, still upset.

- He makes his way to the prison, thinking. Tommy coming back took away the satisfaction of him being Jack’s villain. Jack came back because he had one goal, one purpose, and that was to kill Tommy. Why not take the same from him?

- He tries to enter the prison portal but it doesn’t work. Jack is infuriated and walks to Tommy’s summer home, where he encounters Quackity.

- Quackity wants him to leave the property. He hid some things there a while back that he doesn’t want people finding. 

- They talk about Tommy being alive again. Quackity is happy, but wants to know what Jack’s plan is regarding their business.

Quackity: “Tommy is a complex business partner, and I have to come to terms with that fact.”

- Quackity points out it seems that Jack lack’s power over this hotel business venture. Jack tells him Tommy said he could have it for now. Quackity says he’s made great progress on his business, and they’ll continue to talk later. He leaves.

- Foolish says he looks poor and hands him two diamond blocks.

- Jack says he needs funds anyway and has an idea...what if he became a prison guard?

- He wonders how to go about it. Who would suggest him?

- Jack looks at the ruins of Ze Haus. He’ll stick to the motto:

Be Worse.

- Ranboo starts off in his house, his Memory Book open

“He’s alive!”

“He’s alive?”

- Ranboo thinks to himself. It’s incredible, but…was he even dead to begin with? Did Sam lie? It doesn’t make sense. Once something is dead, it’s dead, right?

- Tubbo’s not handling it well, but he’ll come around eventually. But Tommy’s alive now, that’s awesome! That’s a good thing…right?

- Ranboo isn’t upset at him for burning the flower. If someone died and came back and everyone still thought they were dead, of course they’d be hesitant to things.

- He goes back to the confusion about death. People can be revived.

“And if death isn’t permanent, then people are gonna be living a lot differently.”

“If death isn’t permanent…if death isn’t permanent, then nothing is. Then that means that…anyone can just die, decide ‘no,’ and just come back. And…if…people live with no fear, then they’ll be put through so much pain.”

- Tubbo was so ready to fight the Egg despite being on one life. Imagine if he found out that he could die and come back if he got hurt.

- Ranboo heads through the Nether to the portal to…Dream’s mountain vault

“What is this place?”

“I’ve been here before?”

“Why am I here?”

“…Step away from him, Dream.”

“Everything everyone’s ever loved is right here. If I can control that, I can control the server.”

“Dream was…he was trapped in here when we all came through. Wait, I’m — you can’t kill him because he’s the only one who can bring Wilbur back…what? Dream could…Dream could bring people back?”

“Was I here?”

He moves towards the elevator. “I walked over there.”

“The Enderwalk. That entire time. And they all came to save him…that entire time.”

“You should’ve paid him more.”

“The only reason they kept Dream alive was because he could revive…people. Dream has the power…to…bring people back. No matter…when…who…where…”

“He needs to go, or else…death won’t be permanent, and then, if we get rid of someone because they’ve been causing problems this entire time…then we can never get rid of the villains in this story. We can bring back the villains in the story, when they were supposed to be written out.”

“He needs to go.”

- Ranboo leaves. 

“We should be able to get rid of the villains, even if it means not being able to keep the good guys.”

- There’s a reason he was able to pick up blocks slowly throughout time. Things start to manifest. There’s something going on with the Enderwalk. The Enderwalk isn’t a different version of Ranboo, it’s still Ranboo, it’s just more…wild

- Ranboo heads to Snowchester and sees Michael.

“Cause I don’t wanna hurt him…so I gotta make sure I get rid of any possibility.”

- Ranboo is scared of doing something that makes things worse.

“I don’t hurt people. That’s not what I do, I have to keep it that way. However…”

He looks towards the prison. 

“There is one exception.”

“Do I even have to be careful? I mean, I still have my three lives. I mean…I’m one of the most safe people on this server. But…I don’t even have to be. I can afford to be reckless.”

- Ranboo writes in his book.

“He’s alive. But hopefully soon Dream won’t be.”

- Ranboo goes into his house. He surveys his riches in the vault. He has a lot of supplies, but he’s not ready to do this yet.

“It’s time to train.”

- Puffy finds Tommy’s book in her Therapuffy office and reads it. Does this mean he’s alive?

- Puffy watches the VOD and decides she would lose all her canon lives just to escape the possibility of solitaire.

- Puffy is happy that Tommy is alive. But how, and why? Why would Dream resurrect Tommy?

She wonders if there was a tiny part of Dream that cared, or if that’s just the duckling perspective talking.

- She goes back to her office and writes a response letter, going to leave it in a chest at Tommy’s house.

What Tommy needs right now, she says, is support.

[fific7]

Dangerous and Divine - Part 10

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 In case you hadn’t guessed, this is my ‘Real Love for Russo’ AU. The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. A little voyeurism. Some drinking & swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

His eyes looked huge as he gazed at you, “I, uh... think I’ve fallen in love with you.” He stroked your cheek, “And it scares the shit out of me.”

You realised you must look like a fish, your mouth had dropped open in a big O. No sound came out of it though, as your brain had frozen solid when you’d heard Billy’s words.

He looked at you, worried frown on his face, “I know! I know what you’re gonna say. It’s too fast. I think it’s too fast too! - but I can’t help how I feel. It’s like I’ve run into a wall or something. Can’t stop thinkin’ about you. Wanna be with you all the time. Wanna make love to you all the time.”

You scratched the bristly hairs under his chin, running your fingers through them and into those on his neck. Still trying to think of what to say.

“Uh, I...” you stuttered, thinking ‘good start, “...Billy, I really like you. I’m enjoying being with you, and I’ve definitely got feelings for you. Already. And it scares the living shit out of me too. Not sure exactly what they are just yet,” you smiled at him, and were relieved to see him smile back. “But, yeah, I think I’ll hang around so I can find out. If that’s OK with you.”

He was still smiling, and leaned over to kiss you softly. “That’s more than OK with me. We can both be scared together.” Your arms went round his neck, your lips dotting little kisses onto his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips. “Yeah - let’s do that.” His eyes were still closed and a happy little smile had appeared on his face.

Oh, and Billy?” Dark eyes opened slowly and looked at you, “You know how we didn’t use a condom?” A tiny little frown on his brow, “Yeah?” “There won’t be any mini-Russo’s running around, don’t worry. I’m on birth control.” He chuckled, “Okay, I suppose that’s good to know. Wouldn’t have been a problem if it did happen, though.” You burst out laughing, “Really? Not a problem for you, so you say, but have you thought about how it might’ve been a problem for me?”

He sat up a bit, “Well... no I guess I didn’t. Would it be that much of bad thing?” You lay down and stared up at the ceiling. After a moment or two of silence, you hummed and said, “Well, having kids is not in my immediate life plan, but I’m not ruling it out.” Billy perched his chin on your shoulder, and you turned your head to meet those deep dark eyes again. He grinned, “Okay, I hear you. Guess it’s not in my plans right now either. But I have to say, we’d make beautiful babies.”

You smiled, “Maybe... but you still aren’t getting me pregnant and locking me in the kitchen!”

Billy had just laughed, giving you more of the puppydog eyes.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After Billy had finally enjoyed a very pleasurable joint shower the next morning - he’d been fantasising about that ever since that time she’d locked him out of her bathroom - he’d dropped her at the Chelsea café before heading out to Anvil. He had a huge smile on his face as he thought back to the two of you playing around under the warm water of her rainfall shower, having immense fun and indulging each other with erotic pleasures.

But then his smile faded a little bit. His mind had moved on and was now playing over their conversation from the previous evening. Should he have told her how he felt? Not that he’d meant to, to be honest, but his sex-drowsy brain and loved-up mindset had let his mouth just blurt it out. It wasn’t like he was lying or anything, he’d just not planned for it to happen that way or at that particular time. She hadn’t said she was in love with him, but he was very pleased that she’d actually admitted she had feelings for him, which was good enough for him for the time being.

He was making his second cup of coffee by the time Frank arrived, so made him one too. The two buddies lounged back in their chairs, sipping at their caffeine hits, and Billy started catching Frank up with the dramas of the previous day, who listened with an increasingly amazed look on his face.

When Billy got to the bit about Madani’s visit to Anvil and what she’d done as soon as she arrived, Frank swore out loud and said angrily that he shouldn’t leave it like that, he should report her. Billy sighed, “Now’s not the time, Frankie. My girl’s got the right idea, she wants to wait till the case is done and then we’ll see. Madani’s crazy mad enough right now without us stirrin’ up more trouble for her.”

Frank grumbled, “Even more unhappy havin’ to work with her now. She’s a loose cannon.”

Billy shrugged, “You know we don’t have a choice, Frankie. And it was my dumb idea to lead her on in the first place.” He looked over at him, “This hotel meet tomorrow should bring this whole fuckin’ thing to a close.”

Their case was coming to a head. There had been shady goings-on back in Afghanistan when the two friends had been in the Marines, involving black ops and drug-smuggling which had led to Madani’s then-partner getting killed, and Billy getting his Anvil funding from CIA bad guy Rawlins. He was dead now too. And Madani was determined to get his remaining accomplices, one way or another. Homeland was using an undercover agent to lure them into a trap with the promise of selling them video and phone tap evidence, and Homeland had agreed to work jointly with Anvil on it.

Frank and Billy had insider knowledge which was crucial to keeping the undercover agent safe from discovery. They were originally arrested after the gun battle which ended Rawlins’ life because Anvil had muscled in on the confrontation between him and Homeland, and Frank had killed Rawlins in the course of it. Once the remaining two accomplices were under arrest - tomorrow hopefully - Homeland had promised Billy and Frank that all pending charges against them would be dropped.

Frank frowned, looking like a huge irate teddy bear, “It better,” he said darkly.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were immersed in paperwork, but your mind kept wandering. It was a busy little bee. All the stuff that had happened yesterday... it was a lot to take in. Madani’s two visits to you, her full-on assault of Billy, and then... Billy and what he’d said. Yeah, those three little words.

You could tell by his eyes when he’d said it that he’d surprised himself. At least he was as scared as you were. Did you love him? Really not sure. You definitely had feelings for him, that was for damn sure. When Madani had told you she was seeing Billy, you could have cheerfully murdered her. And again, when Billy told you what she’d done to him.

He’d told you this morning that in all honesty, if you hadn’t been in his life, his prior persona would have just let her carry on with it. You’d appreciated that he was being completely truthful with you, about that and also about stopping her in her tracks. He’d actually seemed quite shocked about how she’d behaved. And really not looking forward to seeing her again.

But he’d also told you that the case should be coming to a close tomorrow, and he couldn’t wait for it to be done and dusted. He also said he had a surprise for you which he’d tell you about tonight.

A smile crept onto your lips as you thought about seeing him that night. He was going to pick you up at your place and then head over to his, as he was cooking you dinner this time.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was flitting around his kitchen area, tea towel over his shoulder, wooden spoon in hand, picking up and moving pots and pans around his cooker, and basically just being a domestic god.

You were sipping wine, sitting at his kitchen table and watching this vision unfold in front of you, as you’d been told that you weren’t allowed to help. He looked edible, never mind the food - which smelt delicious. Billy was making pasta with meatballs in a tomato sauce, joking that it wasn’t quite as fancy as the lunch you’d made for him. And he’d also sliced fresh crusty bread with some olive oil and balsamic vinegar alongside for dipping.

“How’d it go with Mizzzz Madani today?” you asked, drawing out the “Ms” mockingly, dying to know what had happened. You could hear his sigh from where you were sitting. He looked over his shoulder at you, running a hand through his hair and frowning as he did, “Uhhhh... how can I put it? Really. Fuckin’. Awkward.”

He turned back to the food steaming away on the cooker top, continuing, “She just literally glared at me for the whole briefing. Like if she’d had knives with her, they’d all be stuck in me right now. Didn’t speak a word to me the whole time.”

“You know, Billy - that really fuckin’ annoys me! She’s the one who created the whole situation.”

Again a sigh, “Well, like I said to Frankie before the meeting, it was my dumb ass that thought leadin’ her on was a good way of getting her to keep us in the loop.”

“Yeah, you’re right but listen, she escalated this beyond reason when she stalked me and jumped you! You know what, Billy, once this is done and you and Frank are free and clear, I’m going after her ass.”

Billy started dishing up, chuckling as he did so, “That’s my girl!” “Billy, I reckon she thought I’d crumble when she marched into my café with her power dressing and big shiny badge. She picked the wrong person to piss off!” Strolling across to the table, Billy put the two plates of food down along with the cutlery, leant in and kissed you long and slow. “Mmmm,” he grinned, “yeah, she really did!”

His eyes softened, and he whispered, “I love you.” “Oh Billy,” you whispered back, and kissed him. Then you drew back, looking down at your dinner, “This looks and smells amazing!” “Stop changing the subject,” he grinned, sitting down and starting to eat. “Now that I told you, I’m just gonna keep saying it to you, and one time you might say it back to me!” You stroked his jaw, dragging your fingers through his beard, “You big sap.” He nodded, “Uhuh.”

“Now, tomorrow...” he continued, “...we’re finishing this thing. Can’t tell you details, but we’re gonna be based in one of the big hotels downtown. I’ve booked a room. Can you bunk off work to spend some time with your boyfriend? Sexy times in a fancy hotel room before he goes on his mission... and afterwards?”

You smirked, “Might do. If he makes it worth my while.” Bigger smirk from him, “He will, you can bank on it.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy had dropped you home after dinner; he had to head back to Anvil as he, Frank and their team needed to get prepped for the next day. You felt quite giddy when you realised he’d taken time out just to make you dinner. Maybe you did love this guy!

You texted Jake & Jen to say you’d decided to take the next day off, but they could of course get in touch with you if need be.

Jake: No problem, have a great day off 😌

Jen: Lucky you!!!! 😉🥵

You laughed at Jen’s reply, cheeky woman! She’d guessed exactly what you’d be up to on your day off.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Packing an overnight bag after you’d showered and dressed very early the next morning, you made sure to include some pretty lingerie. Billy was in for a treat.

Speak of the devil. Your phone chimed with a new text.

Your Boyfriend: I’m outside your place, my angel 😘

You: Do you have to be on time, all the time? 🙄😌

Your Boyfriend: Ex-Marine, darling 🥷😉😘

You: OK big boy, I’ll be down in 5 😘

Your Boyfriend: 🍒🍆😈

Twenty minutes later, you were driven into the hotel’s underground carpark in Billy’s SUV (no Wraith today!) and he asked you to wait in the car until he came back for you. Once he returned with the keycard, he took you up to the lifts via the fire exit stairs, so you wouldn’t have to walk through the lobby. Very cloak and dagger, you thought.

The hotel room was very fancy indeed, all boutique hotel chic. You’d just put your large tote bag down beside the bed, when two arms grabbed you, spun you round and threw you onto the bed. Billy nuzzled into your neck, making low growling sounds. His hands got busy unfastening your shirt, so you started on his, both of you kissing each other’s skin wherever you could reach it.

Billy groaned, “Angel... sorry, this is gonna have to be a really quick thing, m’nearly due to get kitted up for this fuckin’ op.” “That’s okay,” you gasped, “just get your clothes off, Russo.” He grinned, sitting up on his knees and stripping off his shirt, followed by his boots, jeans and CK boxer briefs. You were just lying there, eyes drinking in that fine body of his, until he took hold of his erection and gave himself a few strokes, stiffening even more. That snapped you out of your trance, and you sat up and stripped off your clothes quick as a flash.

You and Billy then kind of leapt on each other at the same time, and you found yourself tumbling backwards again onto the huge bed with Billy on top of you. He slid two fingers gently inside you before finding your clit and rubbing at it hard with his thumb. He was kissing your neck and then your breasts, licking your nipples roughly, making you give little squeals.

His fingers left you, and you felt him move his hard cock between your legs with his hand. He pushed inside with one big thrust and you gave a big, deep sigh at how good he felt inside you. Hearing Billy sigh out your name as he buried himself in you, you thought you also heard a click. Billy was kissing you hungrily and had started thrusting into you at a pretty fast pace. All thoughts of anything else went out of your head.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Dinah Madani had calmed down quite a lot over the last 24 hours.

She’d drunk herself into oblivion when she’d got home after leaving Anvil, and had to sit through that excruciating briefing with Russo and Castle the next day nursing a raging hangover. Did she regret what she’d done? Any of it? No, she didn’t.

To put it mildly, she wanted Billy Russo, and had thought she was going to get him. While she knew that she’d lost her head over him, that she’d looked so desperate when she’d jumped him in his office, she really didn’t give a shit. Madani had decided to take a shot at getting him back, and she’d taken it.

It hadn’t worked. That had really surprised as well as humiliated her. What did that bitch have that she didn’t? Anyhow, yeah - he’d kicked her to the curb, so she was just going to have to take it on the chin and move on. Not that she was happy about it, and easier said than done.

She’d decided to hunt Russo down in his room and go over some last-minute details with him. And if she was honest, maybe see if being in a hotel bedroom with him changed the dynamic any. The hotel manager had given her a master keycard as she was Agent-in-Charge of this undercover op. She was going to go in unannounced she decided, well she was the boss on this op after all. Maybe Russo would be in the shower, she mused to herself, with a pleasurable thrill.

As she opened the door and walked in, about to call out his name, what she saw did not please her in the slightest. Billy Russo’s naked tight ass thrusting up and down, him sighing and groaning out loud, lying in between a pair of legs, and she could just guess who they belonged to.

Wanting to turn round and get the hell out of there, Madani found herself rooted to the spot. It was like car crash TV... she just couldn’t bring herself to look away. So, she stood there and just watched.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites

[sanstropfremir]

hi! swf anon here

i agree w ur points. i don’t think the mission was very fitting? mnet had them essentially do an individual mission but mix matched the crews together and do a Group performance… in the episode, no one really cared to work together. instead they were more focused on wanting to stand out. i thought all the performances were v lackluster so i’m hoping for more? but my expectations are VERY low because the preview dance performances for the next ep looked v bad. each crew has more dancers to fill space and do fun formations but like, also? it seemed v poorly produced (stage design is literally them in a big ass empty stage). and that more doesn’t mean better because some stages looked v disorganized.

also, it seems like the show is more focused on ‘idol dancing’ if that makes sense? and that’s why it’s shot and edited that way. because chaeyeon is on it, there has been a lot of discussion of what counts as dancing vs idol dancing. also if idols can be considered as dancers. (the same argument that idol rappers are not rappers, etc.) taeyong was thrown in the mix because he’s one of the judges and people don’t think he’s Valid to be one.

also, what is unique to street battle dancing? i’m not familiar w it. and honestly i feel like boa is the only one making sense on the show. i like her comments and why she chose a crew as the better performance.

(this is a jumble of thoughts! sorry. i’m not on my laptop.)

no worries at all! your jumble makes perfect sense to me. i''m sorry this got very long and is mostly me rambling, i guess it's tit for tat at least!

honestly i would rather them doing big groups on an empty stage than whatever those massive quarry sets were, because at least we'll be able to see the choreo a little better. and you're absolutely correct more does not at all mean better. i am definitely a little confused on the priorities of the show, since they seem to be trying to incite the dance vs kpop dance conversation but don't actually seem to be doing it in a constructive way? i haven't watched the full episodes so i can't confirm, obviously, but from what i've seen they mostly just seem to be fueling the division between the two. i talked about this with the idol rapper thing during the collab kingdom stages but idol dance serves exactly the same function as idol rap; it's a part of the form of idol performance. it is a type of dance, and there are certainly idols who are very good at dance, but idol dancers and idol dance is not pushing or innovating the art of dance as a field. it's simply a different set of skills that serve a different function in a different form of art. it's kind of like trying to ask a fashion designer to be a performance costume designer. yea, ostensibly it's the same skills that came from the same place, and yes there are people that can do both, but they are specialized for their specific fields.

personally, of any current popular idol they could have picked, i think taeyong is a better choice than most. he's got a very well known face, he's a leader so he's used to being variety show material, and although he does dance like an action figure animated by suspicious mystical forces, he does actually care a lot about learning and acquiring new skills (see the fish surgeon incident), so he's not about to go onto the show wholly unprepared. not saying he's going to provide the most helpful feedback, but he's probably gonna be better than some other idols they could have picked, at least. and honestly? from what i've seen so far, i don't actually think there's a lot of dance happening that i would consider not idol dance, so i think it's probably fine that 2/3 judges are idols.

like i said in the tags of my previous post, battle dancing + street dance in general are much more focused on technique than idol dancing is. also most of it is freestyle. it's about arranging moves in combination to music in a fresh and interesting way that has a good structure and strong musicality. i linked the final from battle pro 2019 in my first post, but it's a little hard to explain what's going on, so instead i'm going to use mostly battle examples from street dance china here, because it's also a show about street dance that uses idols/celebrities as a way to bring in viewers, but they are also bringing in judges and dancers active in the global street dance scene.

this is one of my favourite battles from season 3, it's one round from a 4v4 where each dancer is trying to garner points for their team to avoid an elimination. the great thing about this battle is that it shows the strengths and weakness of different styles in battle dancing. this particular music works very well for two of these dancers, chunlin (second) and bouboo (fourth), but it doesn't work that well for klash (third), who is a bboy. you can also see how the editors of sdc actually put in post all the different moves that each dancer is doing, which i think is great and shows all the bits of technique that come together for each freestyle.

this is a 3v3 from the fourth season, where the first round is hiphop, second round is bboy, and third round is waacking (there are two other rounds after, but they cut rochka v bouboo from this edit and only showed c lil v qiao zhi, the bboys). the first round is VERY close to a draw, and rochka (long dreads) actually beats bouboo in the second round (bouboo is rochka's teacher, they're both french hiphop champions). qiao zhi beats c lil in the bboy rounds because he focuses more on technique and listening to the music, as opposed to doing just showy and experimental moves (you can see qiao zhi gesturing at his ears in the second round at the end, saying that c lil isn't listening). and in the waacking round, ac goes a little more for showmanship than technique, and that's why ibuki beats him in the end. tony gogo does a short explanation that says basically this, who is one of the judges and is a founder of the first locking group in the 70s, and also one of michael jackson's choreographers.

if you want to watch something that's a bit more showy and actually uses the idols, this is the first round of the captain's battle between wang yibo (uniq) and jackson wang (got7) from sdc3, where they have like 15min to come up with a short choreo to the same piece of music and then have to battle each other with it. and this is basically the same thing from sdc4, but the captains had to pick a dancer to dance with. the rules were slightly different for this one so the captain could chose to have another dancer sub, which is what han geng did for his second round. if you have 20 min and are curious, this is the full captain's cypher also from sdc4, which is han geng (ex-suju m) v zhang yixing (exo) v wang yibo v henry lau (ex-suju m). they're battling for extra towels (long story, it's the point system, basically) to save dancers that have already been eliminated. each of them pick a style they want to dance, and they have to do four rounds and all dance to each style's music.

basically what i'm using all these examples to explain is that battle dancing is about having a really strong understanding of basic dance skills and being able to do good freestyle. that's the biggest difference between idol dancers and street dancers. and this also extends beyond battles as well; here's another example because i can and because it's extremely funny. this is from the first elimination round in sdc4, where half the dancers were able to pre-choreograph performances and were only able to challenge them in a call out, but the caveat was that they HAD to dance to the other dancer's music without listening to it again. so basically if you wanted to call out someone, you had to listen and memorize while watching their routine, and then freestyle a routine on the spot. which meant that everyone who pre-choreographed routines did it to the most batshit music they could possibly think of, to prevent people from challenging them. xiao ji calls out welllai because he's a dumbass and wants to go to the bathroom, so you can actually see his thinking process in trying to freestyle to this weirdass fuckin beat she used. and he ultimately wins the call out because he shows good ingenuity and character as well as technique and ability. he even says at the end that it was only because of many years of practice that he was able to pull that off.

[the8thsphynx]

p,,, p l e a s e ? I mean, please don't feel pressured to tell us about Herc either though!!! but if you want to ramble about her I'll very happily listen,,,,, as a greek mythology buff with fate brain rot your Herc makes me,,,, very happy,,,,, 🥺

HECC YEAH!

Alright, so as a disclaimer, she looks Like That(tm) because I’ve had Heracles as an OC since I was like an 11yo, so LONG before I even knew Fate existed and I’m not planning on changing the way she looks to look more like FSF/FSN Herc.

I also think that the armor I already have designed on her looks closer to Achilles/Jason/Asclepius/Odysseus’s more mecha-centered looks for Fate Greek Servants.

Next, I’ve established that the reason she is female is two separate reasons, and this has to do with compatibility for Roleplay:

When I did roleplay with others, I just had it set that she was from Musashi’s timeline and she isn’t actually the Heracles/Alcides of our timeline.

For my personal writing, it’s like an Artoria situation where history chose to remember her as a man because misogynistic Ancient Greece being like, ‘well there’s no way a woman could be a child of Zeus and this powerful and skilled at being in charge, so you must actually be a man’.

Second Disclaimer: no one has permission to take my designs and recreate them or use them for RP or fanfics.

SO listed below are the major points about her history in this verse and also how she currently operates as a Servant!!

In her history:

Same song and dance as the beginning where her powers surfaced at a young age, so Chiron found her and took her in to train her to be a hero. However, the change-up here is that Zeus gifted Heracles a portion of his power when she was born because he had the intention of this child being the hero that would guide Greece into a new age as his tickcet for his bet with Hera (this was in the 12 Trials original writing). Basically she never had a choice on whether or not she would be a hero.

When she traveled to Thebes in order to attempt to enter the Thebian Army, a whole situation happened with a coup and an attack with a hydra from Lernaea that got lured to Thebes from a nest by the people doing the coup... It was an entire thing. Heracles defeated the hydra and helped identify the traitor guards, so she was able to prove herself to Queen Eurydice and King Creon, who immediately had her married to their son Megara (below).

(he may have been in line for the Thebian throne and an incredibly skilled warrior, but he was THE Malewife.)

A bit before she moved to Thebes, when she was staying in Athens, Eurystheus met her and fell in love with her, but when she rejected his feelings that was when Hera came to him and ‘chose him as her champion’ so she could start her dirty ass scheme.

Heracles had a happy and loving marriage with Megara and they had one daughter and two sons. She would frequently go out with the Argonauts, but always came home to them as soon as she got back on shore.

When the Hera Snake Shit(tm) happened, Heracles was... broken. After the fact, the shock and grief made her go mad all over again until she dragged herself to Thebes and tried to convince Eurystheus to execute her, but because he was in cahoots with Hera he forced Heracles to the 12 Trials instead to ‘redeem’ herself... and this shit lasted 12 years, btw. So that’s 12 years of retraumatizing herself by being forced to do these impossible feats to be forgiven for the murders she was forced by Hera to commit... on top of Hera also sabotaging the Trials wherever she could.

When Heracles completed the initial 10, Eurystheus tricked her into two more, and after completing those two she snapped and nearly killed him, screaming at him to free her. It was then that Eurystheus bitched out and confessed everything to Heracles; Hera’s hatred, her whole plan... all of it. Heracles then stormed her ass out of Mycenae and Thebes and never returned.

She spent the rest of her life until her death by Nessus being cruel, cold, and tyrannical. Heracles had 1 (one) last biological child that she left with a king who would eventually raise that child to found Sparta (Leonidas’s ancestor), but the rest of her very numerous children were all actually orphaned or less fortunate children that she adopted so they could claim the title of ‘child of Heracles’ to help themselves get ahead in life (this is where the Heracleidae came to be). Even so, she usually left them on their own and didn’t open herself to them as a mother-figure.

Her life as a Servant:

She may have manifested as an Avenger class, but this is because of Megara becoming a part of her soul and manifesting with her as the manifestation of her hatred for the gods; he’s made the active choice to turn himself into the arrow meant to kill Hera.

If it weren’t for Megara bonding with her Spirit Core, Heracles would qualify for Grand Berserker class. Because of this, Heracles still has a Madness Enhancement factor that will kick in when she encounters a god. Very similar to when Penthisilea goes buckwild at the mention of Achilles, except it only activates and makes her black out when she is face-to-face with and aware that someone is a god.

Despite being an Avenger, she has an incredibly sweet disposition, especially towards kids. A habit from her life that stuck with her as a Servant is that if she sees a child (Heroic Spirit or not) who has no parents or awful parents, she WILL adopt them and start calling them her child, and no, not in the creepy weird m*mmy k*nk way, foh. In some cases, she’ll just adopt someone because they look like they could be her child. One fucking hilarious instance of this is that she has adopted Archer Emiya even though he gripes all the time that they look the same age physically. Does she care?? NO, that’s her son, babey!

Her Noble Phantasms are the almost the same as FSF Archer Alcides, especially Reincarnation Pandora and King’s Order... and Reincarnation Pandora is actually the reason why she would up contracting with Goetia. But she also has the manifestation of all 12 Trials, albeit in a different form than what Archer Alcides can bring them forth as, and this is because by some handiwork by Daedalus, Heracles can alter the King’s Order to adapt to whatever situation she needs them for.

ex: Cerberus can become a motorcycle aside from also being a three headed hellhound and the famous Lernian Hydra can turn into a Mercedes Benz aside from also being the fuck-off giant Kinghidorah.

Daedalus messing with Heracles’s Noble Phantasms is the most shown in her (Daedalus is a woman in this verse bc fuk u) alteration of Nine Lives to be a multi-adaptable weapon with nine different functionalities that Heracles can flip them to at a moment’s notice. These alternate forms include: bow, twin swords, double-ended spear, polearm, long barreled rifle, twin short arms, bludgeon, battering ram, and can even conform to the braces on her arms and become gauntlets (yes, her and Ruler Martha would vibe).

(I realize that this isn’t the best design, I’m still working on drawing weapons)

Oh, I almost forgot about her other non-combatant quirk: she fucking LOVES blond men. If a grown dude is a blond and NOT a Greek-- regardless of anything else about their physical appearance-- it cranks their attractiveness scale up by at least 2 points for her. Goetia, Fionn, Arthur/Artoria, Gawain, Kintoki, Gilgamesh (he’s on thin fuckin ice), Jekyll, Goredolf... none of them are safe.

She also very much loves modern era fashion and dressing up. Heracles quickly befriends a lot of the female Servants/staff and goes on periodic ladies nights out with them.

[violetwolfraven]

Crossover Headcanons

((I know I have requests in my inbox but I just had to get this out of my head. Also I probably won’t be posting those requests for a while because my writer’s block is only barely starting to lift, so...))

Anyway this is gonna start off from one perspective and go to more later. Enjoy. 💜

Tw: past death, nightmares

...

So this is a... spin-off? Of the reincarnation au? An alternate timeline? A variant? Whatever it is the newsies are reincarnated and remember their past.

Also somehow most of them are going to the same college here, (I’m not going to say which one because I don’t want to research colleges right now) even if they’ve got a wide range of majors.

There’s only one dorm building even if people are only allowed to share a room with someone of the same gender.

This works out well for Elmer, because he’s pretty happy to be rooming with his boyfriend, Buttons.

But then he gets up to the floor their dorm is on and almost drops the box he’s holding.

Because it’s fuckin her. His national-level math nemesis since 11th grade. They’ve only faced off twice, the first time with her team winning and the second with his winning, but they’re each the only one who can beat the other in a math competition.

Elmer can see the shock in her eyes as she recognizes him and shouts YOU and then she’s stomping over to him aggressively enough that he’s pretty sure she wants to throw down physically.

Jack (who’s also on that floor with Davey) figures that too, and steps in front of him before she gets too close, but that girl acts like she doesn’t even notice him and shouts I WAS HALF A SECOND BEHIND YOU SOLVING THAT PROBLEM!

Elmer is kinda terrified but he defensively shoots back well I still solved it first and moves around Jack because this is his math nemesis and his fight.

The girl scowls at him for a couple more seconds then just sticks out her hand to shake, and Elmer realizes that he doesn’t actually know her name beyond the surname he’s seen on the back of her mathletes jacket. She introduces herself as Cady Heron.

Elmer Kazprzak, he responds, and Cady looks like she’s trying not to laugh, but he figures that’s probably fair, with how ‘Elmer’ was a common name in 1885 but not so much in 2003.

Jack clears his throat so Elmer introduces him but forgets that this isn’t their high school so things like oh this is Jack. He’s basically my dad. are weird.

Cady definitely thinks it’s weird but she doesn’t question it. Instead she just asks where Elmer is living, and it turns out, of course, he and Buttons are right next door to her and her roommate, Karen.

(I say Cady is living with Karen because Gretchen wanted to live with Regina and rules be damned Janis is with Damien.)

Elmer isn’t completely sure he’s not going to get murdered in his sleep but he guesses if he could handle the 1899 Newsboy Strike and World War I he can handle Cady Heron.

Meanwhile Katherine is going to Harvard so Sarah is rooming with someone she’s never met and she’s a little nervous.

And in stomps a girl who declares I’m a lesbian and if you have a problem with that tell me now so I can switch dorms.

And Sarah responds with my girlfriend out at Harvard would be pretty pissed at me if I did have a problem with that.

The girl lets her guard down, explains that she comes from a small town, and says her name is Alyssa Greene.

After that little bump, they get along good. Alyssa explains that her girlfriend, Emma, registered late and couldn’t get a dorm with who she wanted.

And Sarah’s just kinda like wait Emma as in Unruly Hearts Emma? Alyssa’s just like yeah!! I’m so proud of her!!

Sarah brags a bit about how Katherine is studying to be a journalist with a specialty in queer stories and long story short they become besties and eventually Alyssa introduces Emma for real and Sarah introduces Smalls and Sniper.

Emma and Alyssa are a bit thrown by the whole nickname thing but hey whatever now they have a Lesbian Club!

They do meet up with the boys occasionally but the Lesbian Club meets on a video call with Katherine every Saturday.

Anyway Jack meets Janis in art class and initially they kinda think each other is weird because their styles are very different but then they get in an actual conversation and get along amazingly.

Jack is definitely a fan of Janis’s philosophy of when someone hurts your friends you attack and grind your foe into the ground.

Janis tells her new bestie about Cady and Damien (and Regina, Gretchen, and Karen, though she still keeps Cady and Damien closer than the former Plastics) and she’s honestly shocked by the amount of friends Jack tells her about.

She does recognize some names, though. Romeo and Damien are both theatre majors and they’ve become friends.

But anyway Jack and Janis are like. Super good friends. Art buddies. Mlm/wlw solidarity. Protective friend pals.

Janis is pretty surprised when she introduces him to Cady and they’ve already met, and apparently oh fuck your math nemesis is Jack’s Elmer???

Jack’s just going oh fuck Elmer’s math nemesis Cady is Janis’s Cady???

Also Regina met Spot and Sarah at the gym and now they meet up with a few other people every other week to throw down like their own personal fight club.

At first Regina was just angrily trying to fight with no technique, but don’t worry, Spot and Sarah teach her.

There weren’t a ton of out gays at Northshore High, so yeah the Mean Girls crew definitely gets along with the Newsies crew out of solidarity.

Janis and at least one of the Plastics but I can’t choose which one(s) join the Lesbian Club.

Meanwhile Race is super hyped to meet Emma cause like I choreographed a dance to your song wanna see???

Emma is flattered but kinda weirded out and she mentions her friend Angie who’s a dancer too and Race is just *error 404*

Cause of course he saw the news story and knows Emma knows these 4 big Broadway stars but it just. Hasn’t connected until this moment that she like has their numbers.

He tries not to freak out too much cause he knows that’s weird but Emma eventually goes do you wanna meet her? And Race goes do I wanna meet her? She’s only my IDOL!! she’s been dancing like 20 years and she’s still got it!!

Emma calls Angie partially because she likes her new dancer friend and wants to make him happy and partially because she wants to prove to Angie that people do appreciate her zazz and despite how she was just a chorus girl until a few months ago this random boy from New York has been a fan since he was 12.

Angie can’t exactly fly over at the drop of a hat but she watches some videos on YouTube of Race dancing and like holy hell this kid is good. And his friends are too but this kid right here has zazz off the charts.

When she finds out he’s an orphan she’s lowkey can I adopt him??? but then she finds out he already has an adoptive mother and it’s Medda Larkin.

Medda Larkin who did more than a few shows with Angie when they were young but left Broadway to open her own theatre.

They fell out of touch years ago but still follow each other on Instagram and stuff.

But Angie shows Barry and Dee Dee and she’s super excited like remember Medda Larkin??? THIS IS HER ADOPTIVE KID AND HE’S AMAZING

And they watch YouTube clips of Emma’s new friends in high school shows and like wtf these kids are fuckin talented why aren’t they on Broadway???

They almost tell Emma to tell her friends to drop out of college and come straight (haha not that straight) to Broadway but Trent is like wtf no education is important.

Whatever the actors aren’t that relevant.

Sarah has a nightmare about her death one night. And with the others it’s not as big of a deal because they’re all rooming with each other, but Sarah’s roommate isn’t one of them.

She thinks Alyssa is asleep so she calls Katherine crying about how scared she was, how guilty she felt to be leaving her brothers and friends and Kath without a goodbye.

And Alyssa isn’t quite awake, but she’s awake enough that she hears Sarah whisper about how everything is just so stupid complicated. I shouldn’t be afraid of dying when I’ve done it before—when we’ve all died horribly—but I still am, Kitty. I can’t stop being afraid.

Alyssa is out of it enough that she falls back asleep, but when she wakes up she knows what she heard. That her roommate thinks she had a past life and died and implied that all her friends did.

Emma notices she’s acting weird and when she asks what’s wrong she tells her.

They both know it sounds crazy, but...

Emma tentatively points out some weird things about their friends from New York.

She’s study buddies with Race and occasionally he points something out she got wrong on her history homework. Something so small and inconsequential that it would’ve been almost impossible for him to know unless he was there and remembered from experience.

Smalls and Sniper have a habit of jumping apart if they were so much as holding hands and someone walks in on them, even though they come from a mostly accepting city with an accepting friend group.

That whole group straight up skipped history class the whole week they were learning about World War I and refused to make up the work.

They bring the half-baked theory to Janis who immediately remembers all the times she’s seen Jack draw small war-torn towns in France and dirty city streets and an outdated skyline as if seen from a rooftop, all of them too detailed to be anything but directly copied from something Jack has seen before.

But the question is if they’re drawn from a reference photo or a memory.

Cady realizes, upon hearing the theory, that Elmer and Buttons never take her up on offers to come to football games because they don’t like the noise.

More specifically, she remembers the look on her nemesis/frenemy’s face when he said he didn’t like fireworks.

Aaron notices that Davey always solves math problems by hand. He never uses a calculator unless someone reminds him it’s an option. And half the time, he defaults to using his right hand with terrible handwriting even though he’s left handed. Almost like he was raised with the whole ‘left hand devil’ thing, which doesn’t make sense because he went to a public school; not a religious one.

Damien realizes that Romeo has a habit of correcting the costume department, like he knows the period clothing for Hello, Dolly! better than they do. It annoys the hell out of them because upon some research, he is always right.

Regina notes how Spot and Sarah fight like they’re fighting for their lives in a street brawl. She knows that because she started taking karate in an attempt to win fights. She noticed months ago that her friends use technique that’s barely sustainable, like they’re just trying to stay alive until they can run or backup comes.

However all this is just fun and games, a crack theory they’re all mildly creeped out by but don’t really believe, until Gretchen finds it.

An article on the Newsboy Strike of 1899.

There’s a copy of the Newsies Banner, written by Katherine Plumber, which references strike leaders Jack Kelly and David Jacobs.

But they could write that off as just a creepy coincidence if not for the photo.

It’s the one Katherine and Darcy took that first day, which is in black and white and not the greatest quality, but clearly shows a lot of familiar faces.

A later story by this Katherine Plumber documents lives of street kids with interviews from kids with the same odd nicknames as the group they know.

Regina was the most cynical about this theory and even she can’t deny it now. There’s just too much evidence.

Especially when Karen finds Crutchie’s obituary, but Regina stops her from showing it to anyone else because that’s just too creepy.

The Mean Girls crew and Alyssa and Emma are... unsure if they should confront their friends about this, because a) this is freaky and b) the newsie gang is clearly still harboring trauma due to their deaths.

Plus, as Damien points out, being gay was illegal in 1899. Do you think they want a reminder of how they had to hide their feelings for each other back then?

Emma and Alyssa share a knowing look because they know what that’s like.

In the end Karen lets it slip when she asks Davey a question about her history homework involving World War II, mistakenly believing he was there.

Davey naturally questions her about it and she spills the entire story about how Alyssa heard Sarah’s phone call and they figured everything else out from there. She even shows him the article with the 1899 photo and the Newsies Banner.

And... shit, there’s a lot of memories behind that picture. And that’s them, over a hundred years ago, when they were kids and they weren’t all the same age like this time around.

The old Davey looks so big compared to Romeo and Elmer and god was Specs tall for a 15-year-old.

Davey didn’t even meet Smalls and Sniper in this lifetime until they were 16, but in that picture they’re only 13 and they’re so small.

A sidenote on Katherine has a picture of her in a hairstyle he hasn’t seen her in since 1917.

It’s a mixture between ptsd and nostalgia and Davey can’t decide whether to freak out or be happy.

He takes the article to Jack and tells him about how Gretchen found it and their non-reincarnated friends know.

Jack’s silently cursing the fact that he really should have been more careful with what he drew around Janis, but it’s kinda a relief that they know, honestly.

He shoots a quick text to the group chat and then turns his phone on do not disturb mode while he sits Janis down for a little chat.

He doesn’t go into graphic detail, but he does tell her an abridged version of everything. How they were basically a family and all lgbt+ in the early 20th century and how they died before their time and got a second chance.

It’s more than a little freaky for Janis, but it does explain a lot.

Such as how Jack demonstrates on a dare that he can still do some parkour because once upon a time, he used it to run from the cops.

Elmer tells Cady he’s so quick at math because he used to have to calculate change quickly and later had to help Jack and Davey come up with battle plans based on numbers vs tactics and terrain.

Regina definitely trusts Spot’s combat advice a lot more now because he was essentially a gang leader as a teenager and it has literally saved his life.

Race admits to Emma that her song made him cry because... in this lifetime he might not have had to be closeted, but in his last he was constantly worried about getting arrested or worse if people found out not just about him and his boyfriend, but his friends. His family.

Emma may or may not collaborate with him after that to write a song about how much it hurts to be closeted for your own safety and how much better it feels to be free to be who you are. Race dances in the music video and many of the other newsies make appearances but it’s mainly him and Emma. Spot and Alyssa cry when they see it. Damien does, too.

Who am I kidding everyone cries.

They get like 4 million hits on YouTube and it’s amazing.

The title is probably In the Light or something.

Also Cady, Aaron, Kevin, and Elmer form their own college level mathletes team and no one can beat them.

(Kevin’s not as close with the main group literally only because I don’t know that much about him as a character.)

(Also Stacy, Kailey, and whatever their boyfriends’ names are might be there somewhere but I don’t know them either.)

Katherine does get to meet the new kids in person eventually. And also I didn’t mention this earlier but Specs goes to Harvard too and he comes to visit too.

The power when the Lesbian Club finally gets to meet all in person? Unparalleled.

:)

[they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon]

Hoodies

Sirius x Remus Fluff

Words: 1403

A/n: I was gonna make this a Remus x reader, but I needed some soft wolfstar in my life rn Please feel free to send feedback!!

Sending love from to moon -Blue

“Moony” “...” “Mooony” “...”

“MooOooOooOny” “What Pads?” Remus sighs It’s been about 3 minute of Sirius being dramatic on Remus’s bed, while he sits on the floor studying, as Sirius won’t let him go to the common room or library as, “‘m not allowed in the library till’ next week and Evans ‘nd Prongs are in the common room eatin’ each others faces”

And he basically got kicked off his bed cause Sirius has been rolling on it complaining that he was bored. “I’m bored.” Sirius says pouting “That’s not my fault” Remus shrugs, turning the page on his charms book.

“YES IT IS!” Sirius yells, Remus swears the Ravenclaws could hear him “Cause you won’t give meh attentionnnn”

Remus smirks to himself “You’re right I’m not giving you attention, so I’m going to go not give you attention in the library” He grabs his things heading to the door.

“NOOOO!” Sirius screams, now Remus knows the Ravenclaws can hear him “Don’t leave meh Moony!” he falls off the bed trying to get to Remus before he can leave.

“See you later Pads” He smirks walking out and closing the door before sprinting out of the common room to get away before Sirius could catch up if he decided to go after him.

Sirius is now sitting on the floor of the Marauders dorm, alone, pouting “Fuckin’ rude” he mumbles, falling back to lay on the floor.

He looks up and sees Remus left his muggle hoodie, the one he’s tried to steal off him a couple times.

He loves it cause It’s soft and warm...Well that’s what he tells the others, in reality he loves it cause it smells like Remus. 

He grabs it and pulls it on, it’s very long on him, the sleeves going past his hands. “Screw being a wereWOLF, he’s a bloody wereGIRAFFE”

He wraps his arms around himself, as if Remus was hugging him. “I wish he did this more” Unknown to everyone, even James, he’s had the biggest crush on Remus for like...ever… 

Sirius has never had trouble with relationships before, being able to woo anyone. And In his head the ONE person he’s never been able to catch was Remus. In reality, Remus has had a crush on Sirius since the first time he took him to madam pomfrey by himself. *Flashback* It was before the boys became animagi, they weren't able to sneak out to wait for him outside of the whomping willow. They did something stupid (as always) and Remus made them stay in the dorm as to not get them in MORE trouble.

Knowing that there wouldn’t be anyone to help him the next day, made the night worse than it had been for awhile.

The next morning when he came out of the shack, he was greeted by a hug, that hurt at first, due to his injuries, but as soon as he realized it was Sirius, he didn’t care about the pain, he just held onto him and cried, they sat there for almost 20 minutes, just holding each other as Remus cried, little did he know, Sirius was also silently crying.

Once Remus calmed down, Sirius pulled away and held Remus’s face, resting their foreheads together,

“Don’t bother telling me to stay in that room on full moons, it’s not going to happen.” “But, you could have gotten in trouble” “I get in trouble for breathing, I doubt doing a good deed will make much of a difference” “But-” “Remus-” “Yeah?” “Shut the actual fuck up, now come on, let’s go to madam pomfrey” Sirius picked him up onto his back “And don’t even think about telling me you can walk, cause I don’t care if you can, I want to carry you” *End Flashback*

Sirius put the hood up and went to go to his bed to nap, cause he was tired from doing nothing, before stopping and looking over at Remus’s bed.

“He’s not gonna be back for awhile…”

He turned back and fell onto Remus’s bed, curling under the covers, taking a deep breath as he fell asleep.

 About an hour later, Remus walks into the room “Hey Pads ha-” he stopped dead in his tracks, turning bright red, seeing Sirius peacefully asleep in his bed. He just stood there for a bit, what he went into the room for slipped his mind. Shaking his head, remembering that he came to get his hoodie, he quietly walked over to where he was sitting before, where he left his hoodie only to see it wasn’t there.

Frowning he looked in his clothes draws, he closed the bottom draw, a bit too loud and Sirius stird. “Fuck” he whispered as Sirius turned to see Remus crouched on the floor. “Couldn’t stay away from me” Sirius gave a goofy, tired smile

“It’s cold, have you seen my hoodie?” he stood up 

“Uh- no, no I haven't...” “You’re wearing it aren’t you?” he raised an eyebrow

“Nooooo” Sirius blushed Remus tried to not to look astounded, He’s never seen Sirius blush. He walked over smirking.

“Really?” 

“Uh- yep” 

Remus, ripped the blanket off Sirius, showing he was wearing his hoodie.

“Pads, give me my hoodie.” He laughed 

“No! It’s so cold and your hoodie’s so warm!”

“I know it’s warm, that’s why I want it back”

“But sharin’ is carin’!” Sirius whined curling into a ball

 “What about a compromise? You can stay in my bed, and I get my hoodie back?”

Sirius’s face frowned “But it’s not the same! Cause your hoodie is warm, and soft, and it ‘mells like you- ” 

Both boys' eyes widened. Sirius was trying to figure out a way to give an explanation, in a funny way. But nothing was coming to his mind, all he was thinking was how this could be his chance to tell Remus how he felt. It was like a light bulb went off in his head.

He shuffled to the other side of the bed and patted where he was just asleep. Remus frowned, very confused on what Sirius was on about.

“C’me here you git” Sirius grinned grabbing Remus’s wrist and pulling him on the bed

“Oh ok” Remus was still confused, but now blushing and confused. 

“I’ll be ya’ human heater” Sirius wrapped his arms around him.

Remus just smiled and pulled the covers over them and got comfortable resting his head on Sirius. Turning Sirius bright red.

“Wait really!”  “Yes you git, now shut up” 

Sirius just rolled his eyes and held Remus close. Before he could stop himself, he kissed the top of Remus’s head and whispered “I love you Moony” closing his eyes

“I love you too Pads” smiling, they fall asleep in each other's arms.

A few hours later, James runs up to their dorm opening the door seeing the sleeping pair. He covers his mouth backing out of the room, running back down to the common room, he grabs Lily’s hand, dragging her up to the boys dorm, disarming the staircase faster then he ever has.

“What are you doing James?” Lily says before getting aggressively shushed 

“Don’t you shush me…” she trails off as James opens the door again, showing Lily the sleeping boys holding each other, both of them smiling gently, Sirius’s lips still resting on Remus’s head.

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen” James whispers

Right before they go to walk away, Peter comes running up the stairs yelling “What are you guys doing!” getting shushed by Lily, James grabbing him and covering his mouth, pointing in the room

“Shut the fuck up Wormtail” he whisper yells But it’s too late as Sirius wakes up. Looking at all of them at the door, he mouths “If you wake him up, I will kill you all” the four teens at the door nod, backing slowly away, James still covering Peter's mouth. 

Once the door is closed, Sirius looks down at Remus, gently brushing some stray hair from his face, seeing him smiling, he swore he could look at him like this forever.

“Should we kill them slowly or quickly?” Remus mumbles making Sirius chuckle “Haven't got that far yet, but for now, I’m sleeping again”

“Sounds good,” Remus says, kissing Sirius’s jaw as it’s the only place he can reach, but it makes Sirius blush bright red, before they slowly fall back asleep.

“You’re only getting this hoodie back when it stops smellen’ like you”

[anestheticrage]

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately. 

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho. 

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi-   and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F   W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏  defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself. 

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got: 

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H) 

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

   - everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

   - the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

   - make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊). 

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..." 

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs 

Yours Truly, 

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘 

[southwalessubculture]

Physical Affection with - Jungle Boy

added author’s note, pre-posting: fuckin’ love how the queue doesn’t apparently work...anyways, i thought it was gonna be up a few days ago, so sorry and also fuck off, tumblr.

I really enjoyed the last one (and also @sansammy requested it), so here’s physical affection HCs with Jungle Boy!

He’s gonna be hesitant about PDA (something I mentioned in my friends-to-lovers with JB, which you can find here)

He’s young and a little shy; he doesn’t really understand where the line between cute and cringey falls for those around you, so he errs on the side of caution

He’ll definitely be more open in front of close friends that he knows won’t mind (think among the lines of Stella, Marko and Luchasaurus, etc.), although he’ll still be kind of reserved

When you’re alone, though?

He’s all in on the physical affection train

Holding Hands

By and far, his favorite thing to do

It’s small, casual, and something that he can easily take comfort in

He loves to hold your hand when he’s nervous, especially in public; it’s something that isn’t too attention-grabbing, but it’s still personal

Before his matches, he’ll sit you on one of the equipment cases and stand in front of you, holding both your hands in his as you hype him up

If you wear rings or bracelets, he’s gonna fidget with them during those moments as a way of bringing himself back to you

When you go to the ring with him, he’ll reach down and squeeze your hand from on top of Luchasaurus’s shoulders (although he probably won’t hold your hand for more than a few seconds on camera)

If he needs your attention, then he’ll walk past you and give your hand a quick squeeze; it’s easier than texting and he knows you won’t miss it

He also holds your hand when you’re nervous! 

He works with a lot of Loud and Intimidating people, so he understands that it’s easy for you to get overwhelmed by all the noise, large bodies, and even just the general backstage rush

If he sees you struggling to keep up with a situation, he’ll take your hand and squeeze it to check on you

If you squeeze back, he’ll take you out of the area with some sort of “Marko got stuck on top of a locker” type of excuse that makes no sense, but he’s trying so hard for you

Totally the type to whisper in your ear about well your hand fits into his (yes, he knows it cheesy. he doesn’t care.) 

Bonus: He jokingly kisses your hand when you’re alone, especially if you’re about to go on a date or something. He’ll also call you his princess when he does.

Hugging

He loves to hold you while you work

He hugs you from behind, watching how you do even the most simple things like washing produce or typing a paper as if it’s the most enamoring thing in the world to him

If he sees that someone’s making you uncomfortable, he’s absolutely going to insert himself into the situation

And he’ll absolutely do that by putting his arms around your waist and setting his head on your shoulder, glaring at the person until they get the hint and leave

It’s the most publically forward he’ll be about dating you, and he’ll only do it if he knows that you’re uncomfortable

He knows the difference between you having fun with a friend and someone hitting on you, but even if he gets a little jealous, he won’t intervene unless he sees that you can’t get them to buzz off by yourself

(what i’m saying is that he trusts you, but he’s still aware that people might not listen to you unless he gets involved on your behalf)

(and this got very off topic)

If you’re hanging out with close friends, yours or his, he’ll sit next to you and throw an arm over your shoulder

If someone calls him out on it, then he’ll do the same thing to the person on his other side and ask if it’s a problem now (although he’ll hold you a little tighter as he does)

He’s a cheeky little shit and he will tickle you when he hugs you

Especially if you’re alone

Bonus: He loves when you hug his teammates! They’re a very affectionate trio in that sense, so he’s definitely going to think it’s cute to see how comfortable you are with them.

Kissing

He loves to kiss you

He’ll look for excuses to kiss you

Win a big match? He’ll kiss you

Did you do something super cool? He’ll kiss you

MJF got his ass beat? He’ll kiss you (he doesn’t like MJF, okay?)

I lowkey see him a fan of neck kisses, especially when he’s watching you do something

He’ll bury his face in the crook of your neck, peppering your skin with little kisses and telling you how pretty you are

He’ll kiss your nose when he thinks you’re acting cute; if you’re acting grumpy after he wins in a video game, getting excited over a new dessert you want to try, or even when you’ve just woken up and given him a giant smile, he’ll peck the tip of your nose and smile at you

Alternatively, if you’re in public and you do something cute, he might pull your hand up and kiss your knuckles since it’s not as apparent

Except for that, he will very, very rarely kiss you in front of other people; mainly if you’re going to be apart for a little while or you’re seeing each other for the first time in a few days or longer

And maybe when something Very Big happens and he can’t stop himself

Bonus: He once kissed your cheek after winning a tag team contendership match while Stella was recording for her Instagram story, and nobody noticed until the internet lost their shit about it.

He got super embarrassed about it, but he also secretly asked her to send the video since he thought it was so cute to see how you smiled and covered your face, mildly in shock from his unusual behavior.

Cuddling

He’s always gonna want to be cuddling you when you’re alone

He loves playing video games with you, laying down on the couch and holding his controller in front of you

He’ll hold you, chest-to-chest, and rub circles with his fingers on your body when he’s a little stressed

Speaking of stress, he could listen to you vent forever

He’ll let you sit in his lap and play with his hair, his fingertips drawing circles on your leg or stomach as you tell him about what’s bothering you

He’ll try his best to give advice (he’ll often end up recommending that you ask Luchasaurus or one of the older members of the roster if he can’t help you, although he tries not to unless necessary) 

If you get self-conscious, then he’s gonna literally kiss every inch of your body as he tells you everything that he loves about you

He has absolutely done this while drunk (regardless of whether or not you needed to hear it in that moment, per se) and he ended up crying in your arms while telling you about how much he loved you

He loves waking up next to you, almost more than falling asleep with you

He adores how you curl up against him when you fall asleep, the way that you nuzzle into his chest

Absolutely lost his shit the first time you woke up next to him, giving him a quiet “good morning” in your sleepy voice

Bonus: The first time that you stayed with him, he had to wake you up from a nightmare. He was so scared, although he didn’t want you to see that; he pulled up a movie on his laptop and held you until you fell back asleep, and then nearly stayed up until dawn in case you needed him again.

Miscellaneous Things

Totally wants to do that cliché thing where you sit in his lap and he puts his hands over yours on a keyboard or controller, teaching you to play a video game he likes

He likes to go on swimming or on hikes with you, if you’re into that kind of thing; he sees it as a great way to show you some of his favorite places and also get a bit of alone time with you

He will carry you through the woods on his shoulders if you let him and that is not a question

Also, loves carrying you! He doesn’t like the idea of you getting tired, so he’ll just pack you up on his back and carry you around (especially if you’ve been standing for a long time and he’s worried about it)

I feel like he’d also lowkey fall in love with you all over again if you fell asleep against his shoulder while you’re hanging out

He’s always a little worried about you, and he’s very attentive to what you need, so expect to find random snacks, water bottles, or phone chargers lying about exactly when you need them

I feel like he’d probably start keeping a first-aid kit with different over-the-counter medicines in his car or bag in case you get hurt or sick when you’re with him

If you use feminine care items, he always keeps some on him in case of emergencies (and he’ll defend it to the death if someone tries to make fun of him for doing it)

He’ll also absolutely memorize any allergies you have and he’ll be super vigilant about that shit (like, to the point where he’ll text you about dust/pollen for the day if it’s going to be particularly bad)

Basically, he’s not going to be super publically affectionate, but he loves that shit in private

He will, however, show his affection much more in terms of caring for you and making sure you have everything you need; he’s such a sweet and thoughtful person, and he doesn’t want you to ever worry about anything when you’re with him

[phoebehalliwell]

so apparently my brain will not let me rest until I figure out the Prue/Roger dynamic, so: Prue's right out of college when she gets hired at the museum and she gets partnered with a senior curator, Roger. Roger flatters Prue first professionally, then personally, and when Prue is hesitant because he's married, he spins some line about how his marriage is over in everything but name. Prue, young and only having one real relationship before, falls for his charm and they start sneaking around 1/?

at the office. at some point Roger does divorce his wife, he and Prue are together publicly, and then he proposes. somewhere in there, he makes a move on Phoebe, who rejects him. Phoebe immediately goes to Prue, but Roger insists that she's lying, "Prue, don't you think I love you, I left my wife for you." Prue, habituated by years of this kind of emotional manipulation, chooses Roger over Phoebe. This pretty much destroys her relationship with her sister. Prue and Roger continue plans for the wedding until Grams dies, at which point Roger calls off the wedding because he didn't sign up to be anyone else's emotional support. Prue, spends her days angry at Roger, Grams, and Phoebe for abandoning her, and spends her nights secretly wondering if there was anything she could have done to keep any of them with her.   

hmm an inch resting yarn you have spun here but i’m gonna offer you another one: pure was popular in high school she was like really fuckin cool and she could very easily have been any man of her choosing. there was no settling for her, she was prue motherfuckin halliwell. so she went for what her heart always wanted and dated her childhood sweetheart andy trudeau. and like,, they were the It Couple in their heyday and it was definitely that passion head first our love will never die dramatic but also just kinda silly love. and that sorta sets the bar. then she’s off to college presumably at this point still trying to pursue a career in photography and she’s like having fun she hangs out with the artists and free spirits and people who were misfits in high school and draws them in with her undeniable queen bee energy but like. she knows her stuff. she doesn’t get by on looks and popularity, she’s really good at what she does. so now we bring in college boyfriend no. 1 who cupid name checked as alan, and we’ll say this really is a relationship of two artists and they’re both amazed by each other’s work and the soul and heart and spirit in it and in them it’s definitely the most pretentious of prue’s relationships but it’s like the kind where they “break into” the local art gallery after hours (alan works there and has a key, so it’s not like it took a lot of masterminding) and like slide around polished hardwood floors until they fall down laughing that type of vibe. but now we’re encroaching on prue’s blue period. for starters, piper’s get ready to y’know apply for college this that and the other and like grams is all concerned about how much college costs blah blah blah with paying for both prue and piper and the same time yada yada yada and prue sorta realizes how sorta tight the money situation is what with the cost of education and the house and this that and the other and she’s starting to realize that this photography career is Not the move bc like this house needs a breadwinner if they want to keep it blah blah blah so life already blows when she has to go pick up phoebe from a party which she’s not like happy about but like you know at least phoebe isn’t drunk driving maybe this is a chance for them to bond as sisters for prue to impart some wisdom on her chaotic younger sister but no of course not of course they have to get in a huge argument and prue doesn’t hit the breaks in time and the car gets totalled and phoebe lands in the hospital and like now prue’s sorta spiralling and she like wants to quit photography and she feels horrible about everything and alan who is again i must harp on pretty pretentious is like no u can’t quit ur family doesn’t understand you it’s not about the money it’s about the art use this pain to make something amazing to which like sorry king,,, but it is about the money. the manor has been in the family for decades and prue can’t lose it. and with piper’s college, phoebe’s hospital bills, and grams’s failing health... it’s 100% about the money dude. and fuck turning your pain into art fuck glorifying suffering and fuck you. so now prue’s p cut off she’s pretty isolated she’s all down in the dumps blah blah blah she changed majors to whatever major it was she needed for like museum jobs bc at least this way she can make bank but she’ll still hold a piece of art close to her and she like drowns herself in her work like she’s not just gonna be this major (art history?) she’s gonna be the fuckin best she’s gonna be the top of her class blah blah blah yada yada yada. but y’know flash forward an amount of time and her roommate’s like hey babe. i get like life’s shit i get u got to be the very best like no one ever was but like. you have not left the apartment in four months. you haven’t smiled in probably twice as long so like. idk do something?? that makes you happy maybe???? and prue’s just like :/ bc what made her happy was like photography but now she has very mixed emotions around that and her roommate’s like what did you do for fun in high school like what did you do after school and prue’s like idk cheerleading practice and her roommate’s like word well then go to cheerleading tryouts time skip we really see prue return to all her old glory and climb up the lil cheerleading ladder blah blah blah and in this renaissance of hers she also scores a new love interest who’s basically the opposite of alan enter tom peters the star wide receiver. and i think this relationship for prue was really just like fun it was tipping her toes back into the water it was learning to smile again it was just like a good time fun simple no concerns about the future just like vibing right then and there and then that ended just sorta naturally and they both graduated and it’s time for prue to leap into the professional world and she’s never left california so when she gets a job offer in london she jumps at the chance blah blah blah she’s working she’s having fun she’s defining herself enter eric from london who i’ll say is like a Business Man he’s like a this that or the other idk maybe a museum investor like the young son who just took over his dad’s business that sorta vibe and like eyes meet breath catches there was just this click but it like took them months to get together it was just this dance this game of cat and mouse until prue finally like took the bull by the horns and just like went for it and i think that would be her like most “adult” relationship like dates were going out to fancy dinners not breaking and entering or picnics on the empty football field these were like two professional adults like dating but you know they hit a year and then some and we’ll say like prue is maybe like 24 25 and this guy’s maybe 29 or whatever and they’ve attended friend’s weddings bs they’ve hit that era where everyone’s getting married and suddenly this cloud’s hanging in the air like baby are you my forever girl like is this it fifty years from now to i still come home to you put you know what let’s push that to the back of our minds but now eric’s like 30 and his family’s like dawg,,,, r u gonna be like a spinster or something are you gonna put a ring on it or not and prue (after many many international phone calls to piper) has decided yes she’d do it she’d stay her and be with this man she loves and eric decides prue’s just not the girl for her. so uh. ouch. blah blah blah prue’s had her fun in the uk but it’s like time to return home piper’s just graduates college or whatever and found a job in the city if prue follows suit they could room together which is when she gets the job at the museum where roger works at. and blah blah blah prue’s like amazing as always and of course she catches roger’s attention bc how could she not and he’s constantly pursuing her and prue keeps turning him down at first bc she’s not really interested and then like he’s her boss and then like it becomes a sort of game but now all her friends from high school are getting married and marcia from homeroom has a baby look and the lil pumpkin on her christmas card and fuck what am i doing so you know what yes roger i’ll be your date to the new years party and here’s the thing roger knows prue is really impressive like she’s amazing at her job and she’s a total babe like he shows her off all the time and prue’s like you know receiving this really high praise and you know roger also has cash to spare so it’s like it’s not bad and she doesn’t well love him but he clearly loves her so she can be satisfied and you know her high school reunion is this year and if there’s one thing she would love it would be to write (nee halliwell) on her nametag, to show she got the job, she got the guy, and she’s living pretty in pac heights. so when roger proposes, she says yes. and piper’s happy for her and phoebe thinks roger’s a sleaze and grams is lukewarm but what does grams know about a long lasting marriage and what does phoebe know about anything so blah blah blah she goes to that high school reunion with a big ol rock on her finger and this that and the other and like to be perfectly frank coming home to roger is not like the highlight of her day there’s not this comforting glow when she falls asleep next to him but it’s like. she’s committed. she’s gonna see this through. besides, they’re already working on the guest list and venue and everything like she’s in it now there’s no turning back now and it’s fine like roger’s fine he’s perfectly palatable and she’s encroaching on 30 so. well whatever prue and roger host an easter party and it’s so cute she’s in a darling floral dress dazzling roger’s stuck up parents and eating finger sandwiches when she hears voices coming from the bedroom and is like gonna pretend to ignore it when she catches piper’s eye and piper has that uncomfortable look on her face and she realizes she can’t find phoebe anywhere and Where Is Roger and she busts in on the two of them looking disheveled and phoebe’s like prue- and prue’s like i don’t want to hear it and roger’s like baby- and prue’s like not now and she turns to phoebe like i think it’s best you go and she looks at roger like we’ll talk about this later your parents are wondering where you are so piper drives phoebe home and phoebe’s telling her about how she went to confront roger on being a whore and also like a spineless sleazebag and she was gonna tell prue when he totally started hitting on her and trying to kiss her and then prue broke in and piper’s like uh huh uh huh bc like. she doesn’t like roger all that much. and she agrees with phoebe. but still this thought sorta lingers at the back of her mind like could phoebe have done something? purely to get back at prue? no she wouldn’t. probably. meanwhile roger’s like your sister was totally hitting on me blah blah blah and prue’s like we can talk about it later right now we’re hosting a very nice party and i’m not going to have you ruin in and roger’s like see that’s what i love about you and prue’s like yeah cool and now whenever she comes home to roger she’s just like 🙄 and she’s like complaining to piper about how like she like doesn’t really want to marry him but it’s like too late now the venue’s booked and the save-the-dates have been sent out and piper’s like it’s not too late until you say i do. do you really want to be married to that sleazebag? and prue’s like :| and piper’s like you can call off the wedding and prue’s like :| and piper’s like i’m just saying and prue’s like does he remind you of dad? and piper’s like what? and prue’s like i think roger’s just like victor. i think i’m about to make the same mistake mom made. god, i always wondered how she could have married such a douchebag and here i am about to do the exact same thing! and piper’s not really commenting bc she doesn’t really remember dad but what she does say is you haven’t made that mistake yet so prue’s like you’re right. and that night she calls of the engagement.

[you-need-a-jello-shot]

a really really long post about Vicki’s final show (seriously its so long)

It’s like everything that I can remember from the performance - not really focused on vicki btw but she is in there a lot dw

In megasix Danielle winked at the audience and I don't think I've ever been so suddenly attracted to someone

Also Danielle!Parr walks like a fucking gazelle she puts so much grace and power into every step I am ASTOUNDED

Also if the whole cast would please stop smirking like that at the audience throughout the whole of Ex wives thatd be great cos I would like to leave the theatre with some of my being in tact

They kept giving eachother cute little eye contact and doing cute little things with Vicki (mostly Vicki + Collette)

Ngl I could not look away from Collette the whole time she plays Aragon like that one popular girl at school who knows they’re better than you and you agree - she is SUCH a queen bee. Like she doesn't smile she smirks at you. her eyebrow just flicks UP and my heart explodes

Also genuinely just seems more relaxed in that role compared to the first time I saw her

I JUST REMEMBERED THAT DURING NO WAY SHE WENT "MEOW" AT THE AUDIENCE I AM SO FUCKIN GAY idk how to explain which bit was at but basically at 1:17 in the recorded version when Renée says like "woo!" Collette does the meow instead and oof

After every song the audience literally would not stop clapping for like a solid 10-15 seconds

Courtney omfg she is so perfect as Boleyn she has this little shit grin on her face throughout like she just roasted the fuck outta you and I love it she sells it sO well

"he must have really liked my head...." aND THEN SHE DOES THE THING WITH THE MICROPHONE IT WAS SO FUNNY

Not exactly feral but has so much energy like idk how she does it in that costume with those lights on she must get so fuckin hot like I was hot and I was wearing a crop top (yes I know it's cold out but I'm hardcore so it's fine)

Also I don’t remember when it was but I think Boleyn said something sassy about getting her head chopped off again and she and vicki did a little fistbump in the back it was c u t e. I think court and vic really try to remind everyone boleyn and howard were actually cousins

Hana Seymour is Adorable

Like she just seems like a young version of Natalie's Seymour, which is appropriate cos she is one of the younger queen's . When she said "really, really old school" she dragged out the laughter after and looked so proud of herself

When giving her speech about how she had it easy, Nat!Seymour seems genuinely hurt by what the queen's say about her. Like she constantly has the pain of it on her mind. Whilst Hana!Seymour seems to just laugh a long a bit, rolling her eyes and stuff like it doesn't really affect her that much. Maybe her version is just more at peace with it.

Anyway we've decided to Stan because her heart of stone was so fuckin perfect like she kept looking like she was going to break down and start crying I genuinely thought she was going to but then she sang the next line with such ferocity and it totally went with the theme of the song

As always Haus of Holbein was chaotic as shit. At one point one of them started doing the Criss cross thing with their knees and then literally all of them started doing it it was great. also Danielle does fingerguns as she goes across the stage and then leaps like a ballet dance its fuckin great.

Cherelle was actually so frickin good as well!!! I didn't really know what to expect from her but I she actually puts so much thought into her performance. She has so many little mannerisms that are so funny

Can't think of many but she keeps going back to the same person on the right side of the stage "oh. You again."

Actually made me realise how little speaking lines Cleves has outside of her song I think

ALSO when Parr and Aragon are pretending to be dudes in a club going up to Cleves tHEY HAVE A HAND SHAKE AND COLLETTE HAD HER TONGUE IN HER CHEEK AND IM LIKE WHY AM I ATTRACTED TO THAT WTF

Vicki's Howard is was literally so perfect. I wasn't sure what to expect cos I've only ever seen her as Boleyn so I've seen her at peak chaos. But omg she literally made me forget she was Vicki she just seemed so SmOl. But she was also definitely a Brat Kat.

When Parr pushed her forward the audience cheered she was like "aw thanks" and flicked her hair over her shoulder.

I think I might even do a separate post of just her performance cos omf I have a lot to say

OKAY SO THIS WAS MY FAVOURITE BIt

Idk if it's cos Vicki had just done AYWD for the last time or cos it was so close to the end or what but idk the chaos energy just seemed to be AMPed

When they're prompting Parr to start and theyre all posed with their arms outstretched they held that for SO long and it was so awkward and hilarious omfg cos Danielle went to sing and then didn't and it was great

And then she was like "nah I'm good" and then everyone just kind of deflated and then band kinda tapered off and it was ALSO long

And then Aragon was like ".... :D" and tries to rehold the position even though no one else is and Howard comes forward and is like "n..no" and puts her arms down it was so fuckin funny

Then Anne was just like "wot"

When Vicki said "oh I'm Catherine Parr I draw lines in arbitrary places" she mimicked Danielle's voice and made it really deep and breathy LMAO

And then when they were all in the group arguing on stage about Parr not singing and Danielle's just there looking at the audience like :/ Howard just yelled "I SANG FOR 7 MINUTES"

And then Aragon turned round and was like "I'm so sorry about this" to the audience

And Danielle really made it seem like Parr was fully just going off randomly and it wasn't planned like she was thinking about what to say before she said anything like "um... Okay... Uh... Okay well - bit of context - I've actually had my fair share of marriages"

Also DANIELLE STEERS' SINGING VOICE IS THE SEXIEST THING

It's so breathy and deep and I oop

Like damn she just seems like the softest parr

Idk how to explain it but she was soft and wholesome but also had so much power like ma'am..... her parr just seems like the chillest person

Anyway they just were having so much fucking FUN by the end they were just fully going for it it was great to watch

And then Danielle gave a really great speech and called Vicki a firecracker and Collette was like "if you ever wanna see her silly little face again catch her on tour" and I :)))

And then they gave her flowers and started doing the megasix and the fucking POWER CUT OUT AND EVERYONE WAS JUST LIKE ...

And Courtney literally started pissing herself and started singing the song like a rugby lad and everyone joined in it was peak culture

Anyway yea that was that