#also the whole concept of hiding your identity like yeah

[spyderlady]

my friends and i are doing old barbie movies marathon and rewatching them makes me realize how gay they are like we just finished barbie: a fairy secret and the tension between barbie and raquelle especially when they were locked in the cage together oh my god

[fuckyeahisawthat]

“I don’t think that is what God wants. And I don’t think you want it either.”

This line of Aziraphale’s in the Job minisode keeps sticking out to me. Because this is the heart of the problem, right? This is how Aziraphale can see Crowley so completely and also not at all.

Because yes they suck at open communication and yes it’s because they had to hide their relationship for thousands of years and have so so so much trauma and fear to work through. But ALSO they actually do have a profound difference in how they see the world that keeps coming between them, and it’s not just theoretical but deeply personal to both of them.

Because Aziraphale still wants to believe that God is good. He can’t let go of that because his whole identity is wrapped up in being an angel of the Lord, and if God’s not good then what has he been doing for his entire existence?

And so when bad things are happening he falls back on This cannot be what God wants. The whole of season one, he refuses to believe that God could really want the world to end—even though we now know he knew this was a possibility before the world even started. He keeps going up the chain of command, trying to find someone to intervene. “That’s why I’m going to have a word with the Almighty and then the Almighty will fix it.” As if God doesn’t have all the information or hasn’t been paying attention.

And really, the events of season one reinforce this worldview for him. Because if the Archangel Fucking Gabriel isn’t sure what God wants, then maybe God did want them to stop Armageddon. Maybe it was Aziraphale and Crowley who were doing God’s work after all.

He’s gotten as far as realizing that Heaven’s orders are not the same thing as God’s will, but he still hasn’t detached the concepts of Good and Right from God in his worldview.

Crowley is a good person who does the right thing so he must still be an angel deep down. “I know the angel you were.” The only way Aziraphale can conceptualize Crowley saving Job’s children is, “Come on, you’re a little bit on our [God’s] side.” So Crowley’s fall was a mistake; Crowley belongs in Heaven, where he was so happy before the Fall. Why wouldn’t he want to be an angel again? And yeah maybe Heaven sucks now but God is still good, so there’s hope that the system can be reformed with a change of leadership, and Heaven can be made to actually do good, the way God always intended.

But that’s not how Crowley sees the world at all. He is operating with an entirely different understanding of reality. Because he figured out a long time ago (at least by the time of the Job job, but probably long before that) that you can’t base your sense of morality on what you think God wants. Not just because you don’t know for sure, but because sometimes God’s plans are fucking awful. God in Good Omens is not kind to Her creations. She doesn’t tolerate questions or doubts or disobedience. She’s capricious, turning on the creatures She made and killing a bunch of them when She’s in a bad mood. She punishes indiscriminately and disproportionately. She wagers human lives like gambling chips. The kids were supposed to be dead no matter who won the bet.

I think it’s interesting that Crowley is the one who introduces the idea in season one of “What if the Almighty planned it like this all along? From the very beginning.” That’s probably a comforting thought to Aziraphale, soothing his anxieties about going against Heaven right when he is feeling acute distress at the idea of no longer having a side. (And, in that particular moment, no longer even having a bookshop.)

But it’s not a comforting thought to Crowley. Have you seen what happens when God has a plan for you? It fucking sucks. Woe betide you if you’re the Barbie God decides to play with today. (At bare minimum, you’re coming back with some burn marks and a weird haircut.)

I’ve brought up the line “There are no right people. There’s just God, moving in mysterious ways and not talking to any of us” before, and I tend to focus on the “there are no right people” part. But also, there’s just God.

Aziraphale tends to draw a distinction between God’s will and Heaven’s orders when it suits him, and collapse that distinction when it doesn’t. Crowley almost never differentiates between God and Heaven. There’s just God, and She’s not going to explain why this is happening or listen to pleas for mercy (although Crowley still tries). You can’t trust Heaven or Hell, and you can’t count on God to show up and make everything all right. Sometimes God is in fact the reason that things are not all right. You’re on your own.

(And. Look. Crowley is right on this one. There are certainly aspects of their relationship where they’re both equally responsible for things being a shitshow, but the text is pretty unambiguous about Crowley, a demon, having the most accurate read on the nature of God in the world of Good Omens out of any of the metaphysical characters.)

Crowley rebuilt his entire sense of self, alone, after the Fall. He created himself anew and developed his own moral compass and sense of identity independent of both Heaven and Hell. “The angel you knew is not me.” When Crowley does the right thing, that’s not his angel-ness shining through; that’s just Crowley.

And from a like, trauma recovery point of view, it’s actually very healthy for him to have the realization that sometimes God’s just kind of a dick. He didn’t do anything to deserve getting kicked out of Heaven. None of them did. Just God messing them about because She didn’t like being questioned, or She wanted to see what would happen, or She needed two sides for Reasons and didn’t much care who was on one or the other, or She’s playing some fucked up little game for Her own amusement. (And if there was some Great Plan that required Crowley to fall…well, that is also fucked up. Because it doesn’t matter if there was a reason. It still hurt.)

And while Crowley in general is extremely patient with Aziraphale and his slow, halting journey away from Heaven…it’s gotta sting, every time Aziraphale doesn’t want to believe that God could be cruel, when Crowley is standing right fucking there. It’s gotta hurt when Aziraphale refuses to see something that Crowley knows to be true through his own lived experience. Because it should be enough. What happened to him should be enough to make someone who loves him walk away from Heaven and never look back. And it isn’t.

But of course Crowley is one hundred percent not going to talk about this, if he is even fully self-aware about having these thoughts, because it’s far too painful and vulnerable. (He talks to plants, goats, God, and no one in a bar at the end of the world, but never to Aziraphale.) And so he says “Tell me you said no” and “I think I understand a lot better than you do” because he can’t say Choose me. Just this once, choose me and he can’t say Believe me.

And Aziraphale is not going to think about all this and work it out for himself, because he has a massive lump of denial centered around exactly this thing, that sometimes God hurts people who didn’t do anything to deserve it. I’m sure he’s thought about the Fall in abstract terms, enough to be afraid of it, but not in terms of this is a thing that happened to a person I love. And he has certainly not allowed himself to draw any conclusions about the nature of God from it, because that is far too scary a prospect.

And so they’re stuck. Until they can figure out how to remove this massive landmine from the center of their relationship, they are going to keep having the same fight over and over again, and they’re going to keep hurting each other without fully understanding why.

[tacagen]

chances are that eo probably tried to consult with iris on how to write barry's biography and i think they theoretically could get along with that, discussing the main highlights and all if not for two things: thawne is still a criminal with a weird ass obsession and this whole situation is EVEN WEIRDER (like imagine you come home and the first thing you see is this speedster villain whos obsessed with being flash's nemesis sitting on your couch and a thousand things of various levels of horrifying comes to your mind on what he could possibly want with you since you literally date flash/write about him(? as you can see i am no different from thawne below) and then he casually says 'hi im writing your bf's biography could you help me with-' like?? eo wtf) and hes also fucking annoying and insufferable cause he practically never hides that hes gonna do a SOOO much better job than her. seriously most of the 'consulting' on methods would be 'oh? um... but dont you think that approach is a bit.... oh how do i say it.... outdated? heres what im gonna do-' (local 25th century rat manages to mansplain the first flash biographer in 21st while the mansplaining problem is long solved by his origin time so neither its intended nor even known as a concept to him 💀💀). also he basically spoils that fact to her so iris is just 'hold on im gonna write what.' he probably accidentally reveals barry's secret identity to her by that as well cause he couldnt fucking care less about straight moments in barry's history to ever remember them and especially related dates.

'what do you mean what- oh you. you didnt know. oh. my bad. yk i kinda promised barry not to tell anyone and i never would i just assumed you already knew and in my defence cmon you really _could_ do better than that, like how much do you two know each other by now anyway. 4 months? see! months! _i_ certainly could do better than that. can we still keep it a secret tho 😇🥰'

iris is chill about the secrecy from barry's side tho and waits for him to tell her himself (i mean obvs she picked up some Clues before and was beginning to Wonder but still on the 'hm. would be funny if-' level. then all of a sudden thawne falls from the sky and makes it official).

'...yeah i knew that' 'wait what? how?' 'thawne.' *very tired groan* 'oh for-' 'YES BARRY. IT WAS ME. but for the record i swear it was an accident this time i did NOT mean to do that. not sorry tho she shoudve known even earlier if she *loooves* you oh *so* *much*' [runs off]

[goldmanguyperson]

(post features potentially triggering and general uncomfortable content under the manifesto section)

small byf i probably shouldve put earlier: I might sometimes post musings about sexual ideas and i will be horny on main sometimes, but i will always tag it properly. i also have exclusive tag “#gold goes crazy on main” that you can blacklist if you dont wanna blacklist the more general tags for your own reasons

if i sound mad in here its because i hate how this kind of stuff is dealt with on the wider internet. sorry

If your dni has an identity that i identify with on there then know i am not not interacting with you out of respect, i am not interacting with you because you are a fucking asswipe. Be a better person. People who believe they know more about me than me, or use trauma as an excuse to be bigoted and stay bigoted, do not have my respect.

If i block you, it’s because of the above. or i just found you annoying

intro post for NERDS!

im gold just call me gold. Or, my other names include tank and any model/(appropriate) nickname of tank, plane, or nuclear bomb (aside from fat man or little boy or enola gay for hopefully obvious reasons). i will respond best if it is very clearly directed at me or is one of my favorite vehicles/bombs: tsar bomba, kv-1, molodets, locust, chaffee, whatever whatever

my pronouns are he/him (normal caps), He/Him, and HE/HIM. i stole pronouns from god and HIM from the powerpuff girls

trans and gay full of autism adhd yum

im a shapeshifter otherkin. I am alterhuman for all these things (swings between kin, hearted, and link): birds, machines, and ‘pedes (millipedes and centipedes). But really, i can be anything. i have experienced a whole range of nonhuman stuff, cuz shapeshifter. if i post in a more specific tag know i am not attempting to like… invade, or anything. i mean for one i think thats stupid and for another i do actually be feeling that way

Russia place/countrykin. not a putin supporter or even a nationalist; Слава Україна. more connected to the land and its “memories” than anything else. if this confuses you please read my post: Nationalists do not love their country

i am plural. im fuckitgenic. you dont get to know how traumatized or not i am, cuz i dont even fucking know either. I don’t even think it’s that relevant. I am because i am, we are because we are, trying to look back into this life to see why it turned out this way is, in our opinion, just not fucking worth our time.

You probably wont see my headmates here as they struggle to form words for outside use, but you still might.

headmates you might see include:

The Eagle (he is a bald eagle)

The Nothing Beast (a big jet black dromeosaurid-like monster with back spines. actually quite nice. speaks in all caps)

Sputnik-1 (introject of the satellite). Profile is @satellite-one!

Bear (a spirit bear. might come off a bit mean. Bear is often just trying to protect us, but Bear also struggles with friendly or respectful communication)

Bat (We don’t know much about him. he hides away a lot)

Alan @amcomputer

if you start complaining about “uehhh but i have to know if youre traumatized to know how valid you are!!!” im going to skewer you like a shrike. we do not take kindly to prescriptive labeling.

i am posic (Perception of Object Sentience, Individuality, and Consciousness). I don’t believe objects speak to me and i dont believe they are externally alive, but i feel like they should be. it happens especially with military vehicles and nuclear missiles. when i look at them i feel a similar sense of life i feel when i look at an animal. is it weird? Oh yeah. It is. i have thought about this a lot and i can expand on it in another post if wanted.

im also objectum and conceptum tbe american flag is my boyfriend im sorry… I hate the government and i hate borders and i understand it would be better for countries to not have influence over material reality and all that shit (i am an anarchist. winning) but countries as a concept beyond reality are really important to me please understand. nationalists hate him (me) actually

carrd (mentions nsfw topics)

neocities (wip)

tags

#shut up! the eagle’s talking! - essays and personal experiences

#this is chrome ball radio - My headmate Sputnik’s thoughts and feelings.

#gold goes crazy on main - mentioned above. though not actually just plain horny stuff, more for musings that may be sexual and have to do with me personally and I GUESS I LIED!!! ITS HORNY

#and that eagle? well. hah. It was me - just stuff about eagles. Any kind. i love eagles

#falconer hood experiences - Dreams that i have. theyre crazy. you will want to read

#galaxies of valleirkro - My spore stuff.

#galaxies of valleirkro references - Characters and species in the spore stuff

manifesto (sort of like a dni + its opposite but i actually explain things to ease my anxiety and autism) if you dont wanna read this thats fine but dont be surprised when i say something you dont like lol

Almost anyone is welcome here. But if you believe that you know more than other people do about their own identity then go away. Disgusting shit. Begone

that being said you cannot change your race. racial emotional limbo should only belong to people who are mixed race. You can find ways to participate in another culture without being the race often associated with it. many people would be much happier to show you their culture if you weren’t trying to identify as the race associated with it. Begone

I cant believe this is something that needs to be said anywhere but if you are an apologist for imperialism, capitalism, or authoritarianism, or are otherwise a supporter of any of this shit, fuck you. Begone

go away if you indulge in zoophilic or pedophilic content. hope it’s obvious why. indulging in lusting after real ass living beings who cannot consent is fucking weird as shit. Begone

transage is fine. its not about pedophilia, that is a 4chan smear campaign cuz they thought it was fucking weird. it is about age regression and trauma and that kinda shit. Also the things we associate with certain ages are socially constructed and so like idk, fuckin whatever dude. Begone

if you think age regression is bad then you do not know what it is. it is also not pedophilic in nature, it is often about comfort and often is a trauma or anxiety response. Please research and talk to real people before assuming something is bad just cuz it sounds weird. Begone

mspec lesbians are cool. “contradictory” labels are cool. my (real physical person) boyfriend is every letter of the queer alphabet and every person who hates a contradictory label will face our combined wrath. Begone

medicalism die begone. scientists do not know everything and often even science itself goes against “medicalist” beliefs. Minds are actually super crazy and weird and science understands this. If you are happier, or more at peace, and more able to understand and work with yourself because of a label and the support that comes with it then it is a good one.

^ includes “not supporting” endogenic systems by the way. Begone

creating headmates is fine (i think most of my headmates were accidentally created) but tulpa terminology is based upon a pretty heavy series of cultural appropriations of Buddhism (have you ever heard of “chakras are connected to your organs”? yeah. thats not true. thats a western idea that comes from the kinda colonial concept that we can force an eastern religion into the originally western conception of science as almighty truth that everything must tie to to be considered real by anybody, and the western idea of tulpas are mainly from this version of buddhism). Asian religions and cultural practices are already a really big target for western cultural appropriation, maybe we shouldn’t add to that, okay? i mean i wont tell you to go away like i have for the others here. and i actually wont tell you that its absolutely not okay because this is a pretty complex little cranny of reality. but i do ask you to perhaps be a little more conscious of how this stuff all connects

it is okay to be wrong

bangalangadooda

[docbe]

Idk if I’ve ever vented about this before but it really irks me when people frame the entirety of their concept of “valid” queerness solely around overt/violent oppression

Bc like yeah, obviously that had a HUGE impact and we should definitely be talking about it, but like…if that’s your only criteria and you exclude bi, trans, ace, and other non-LG groups because of it, you’re missing out on a massive part of what the queer experience is. “A trans woman had male privilege,” “ace people don’t even experience any issues,” etc are just…so simplistic and lack a critical amount of empathy

Because the thing is, when gay people were forced to stay in the closet, they were experiencing that privilege too. If a gay man stays passably closeted his entire life, he will receive that straight male privilege. “But, he won’t be straight? He won’t be experiencing that privilege! He’ll feel like a fraud his whole life/like he’s hiding his true self/like something’s missing/etc—“ Exactly! Being queer, even and perhaps especially when you aren’t safe to express or validate that identity, is markedly different from the experience of someone who is not

A trans woman who has to live her life “receiving” male privilege can be devastating. An ace individual who doesn’t have a community that understands and validates them can live a terribly lonely life or feel like a great disappointment to their family. A bisexual individual who has to mime the life of a fully heterosexual person may feel like they are constantly under scrutiny or suppressing an integral part of their self expression and potential

These are all queer experiences! And by gatekeeping queer spaces and conversations, we lose a lot of the nuance that leads to the fundamental bedrock of gay rights. If the solution is “when you stay quietly closeted, nothing bad happens to you, so why are you complaining?” then that undermines the whole point for everyone

Anyway this is also a reminder that TERFs, anti-bi/ace folk, and just the whole “I don’t care once the line has been redrawn to include me” crowd aren’t going to ever find an ally here. You can’t condemn others to a life you would never want to lead just because you personally don’t relate to or have to deal with their specific struggles. Reevaluate

[ghostsontelevision]

sorry the gaylor stuff is fascinating to me so i wrote a whole damn essay abt it under the cut

something i find personally really interesting about gaylor stuff is like - i see the sentiment expressed often in gaylor circles that taylor swift's queerness needs to exist to justify her art. like, if taylor swift isn't queer, why does she write so much about hidden romances? about feeling like she needs to protect her lover from the public? how come she writes about these big dramatic whirlwind affairs when in real life she just dates boring white guys?

there's a few answers:

writing about normal dating stuff isn't as fun as writing about big dramatic whirlwind affairs. yes, love can be stored in going to the grocery store together and cuddling and movie nights - but it's hard to get multiple albums worth of material out of the bliss of domestic mundanity

she is a woman in the public eye. her dating life has been heavily scrutinized by a million strangers since she was sixteen. publicly being seen with someone is in fact a big thing for her, even though she is a cishet white woman who historically has only dated cishet white guys

as much as she hypes up her work as autobiographical - she is capable of writing fiction and has done so before. to assume that every song is ripped straight from her diary seems like it's discrediting her own creativity (and, see point one)

and i think its fair to say that these themes she returns to of forbidden love and having to hide your feelings can absolutely resonate with queer audiences. yeah, i do think a lot of her songs probably hit harder if you imagine they're about a queer person. but relatability and identity are not the same thing, and i think it's important to both not assume that everyone with x identity has experienced y, but also to not assume that experiencing y means someone must have x identity.

however, there's another layer to this. if i were to tell a straight girl about my personal experiences with homophobia, and she responded by saying "i absolutely understand - my dad wouldn't let me date anyone until i was eighteen, i had to sneak boys in and out of the house" - i would understand this as well intentioned, but i might feel slighted or misunderstood by the fact that she considered society-wide discrimination equivalent to having to worry about getting in a fight with her dad. similarly, i've seen many gaylors express that taylor being an ally would make her absolutely unpalatable to them - if she's straight, that means she centered herself every time she talked about lgbt activism despite being heterosexual, that means all the lyrics about hidden relationships are actually about her public boring white boyfriends, that means she didn't ramp up her gay activism because she was planning on coming out and she just did it to promote her new album, that means there really aren't any more secrets to decode and she might actually be dating a football player. for a lot of gaylors, the gay subtext is in fact the entire reason they like taylor swift, and if she's a heterosexual woman, that means they have to find a new favorite artist

in case it's unclear: this is an outsiders perspective. i find gaylor stuff interesting in the same way i find paul is dead stuff interesting - the concept of this long running conspiracy theory surrounding celebrities is really fun for me. paul mccartney is alive, though, and taylor swift is, at least to my knowledge, heterosexual. i'm actually not really a taylor swift fan - i won't change the station if she comes on the radio, but i'm only familiar with her hits and also steadfastly believe that her being gay wouldn't outweigh the damage her jet has done to the environment. i don't have any investment in taylor's sexuality at all - if she's been secretly dating whatever woman she was most recently photographed with, ok cool. if she's actually for reals dating the football guy - cool. but i think a lot of gaylor stuff leans on starting from the assumption that she's queer and works back from that, which makes for poor theorycrafting. additionally, i think it's fuckin goofy to pretend the biggest pop star in the world would face career-ruining backlash for being gay, especially when she's made her stance on gay rights known. i can't imagine someone going "i thought the gay rights song was good and tasteful but knowing she herself is queer has ruined her for me". if she could come back from the kanye scandal, the jet thing, the dating a right-wing asshole thing - she will literally be fine, and to pretend otherwise is to ignore the plethora of other queer pop stars who are far less famous than her and still maintained their careers.

however, i do find that theory that she and harry styles committed vehicular manslaughter and had it covered up pretty funny. i will incorporate that one into my belief system.

[brionysea]

I know this is kind of insane but does everyone know the theory about Alice and Karen being the same person? I’m not quite sure but I do believe that Henry had powers inherited to him, so maybe the manifestation theory is a recessive trait? Karen didn’t get powers but her off-spring did? Just using science and biology because some traits and things can be passed down without you having it! Mike got his powers from Karen. His power a.k.a. being he can create things (like kali) except they’re real

i definitely don’t speak for everyone but i’ve heard the alice theory!

yeah, i find it a bit hard to believe too. the timeline kiiiiiinda matches up - alice was 15 in 1959 (according to that article robin and nancy found), so she’d be around 42 in 1986, which is like... plausible. i guess. i think it seems a bit young for karen, personally. i’m not great at matching ages with appearances in the first place and considering what the other 15 year olds in this show look like now it’s not the end all be all, but something about it just feels off

if i do mental gymnastics i can kinda see it. they had the reveal that el suppressed a traumatic memory this season, as well as going by a new name, which might explain karen’s apparent lack of memories and different name, but it’s hampered a bit by the fact that she apparently... didn’t move out of hawkins? whoever gave her a new identity, for whatever reason, just forgot about that? surely one of the older people who remembers the murders, like wayne munson, would think that this new karen kid looks a hell of a lot like alice creel? but hawkins isn’t exactly full of free thinkers, so...

i’ll say again: it’s plausible, i guess, but it’s not exactly my favourite thing in the world

there are a lot of similarities between the wheelers and the creels though. both nuclear families, although it seems like the creel parents were actually happy together. alice seemed like she was having a good time too. basically everyone except henry was just kinda vibing, making him the black sheep of the family, and isn’t that a scarily familiar concept. the similarity of henry’s safe haven being the attic and mike’s safe haven being the basement really freaks me out

the wheelers are all about appearances. they act like everything’s perfect. nancy’s even called “miss perfect” in season 1 (which i think about all the time in terms of how mike and nancy must feel like they have to present themselves), and that concept of hiding all your damage behind walls is what made henry go on his killing spree in the first place. that’s why i think he showed nancy that vision of them all (minus ted because even the bad guys don’t care about ted - although it also interestingly parallels the creel murders with victor thinking he’s the only survivor) dead. because they are the picture perfect representation of everything he stands against

and virginia and karen...

okay. this one’s really interesting to me.

virginia “somehow knew” that henry had powers and was the real reason for the weird things happening in the house and wanted to “fix” him. and karen in season one, as soon as weird things started happening around town, started acting weird as hell. you could say she’s trying her hand at being present by telling her kids (the ones that are old enough to theoretically cause trouble like henry did - he was 12 in 1959, the same age as mike when will went missing, and i think nancy would’ve been around alice’s age too) that she’s there for them and they can tell her anything...

but she’s completely uninterested when nancy does actually tell her about steve. which, if you were actually trying to do this whole parenting thing all of a sudden, would be something you’d want to talk to your teenage daughter about. but karen just gets annoyed like that’s not what she wanted to hear. like she knows there’s something else about that night that nancy isn’t telling her (which is because nancy doesn’t know yet)

her behaviour only makes sense to me if she’s subtly digging around to see if her kids are the cause of hawkins suddenly being exciting. otherwise i don’t know what the hell she was doing, besides maybe just... half heartedly trying to be a good parent for like a week because some other kid went missing? after that things more or less went back to normal so she could safely settle back into the emotional distance, even with both of the kids that she’s apparently there for now traumatised and in clear distress and in need of emotional support

(i swear i don’t actually hate karen, but the poor parenting from the wheelers is actually astounding)

and all of this is really interesting if it’s actually karen (consciously or subconsciously) repeating the behaviour of her mother. we didn’t actually see much of alice in the flashbacks, so it’s unclear how much she saw, but they lived in the same house. she might have noticed virginia doing something similar to figure out which one of them she needs to focus on

alice seemed to just be living her life, as opposed to the parents who henry had a solid reason to hate - the whole “hiding the damage” thing that he takes personal offence to for some reason, because telling your 12 year old all about your time in a warzone and subsequent PTSD would be a totally normal thing to do, and wanting doctors to “fix” him - but if he just felt ignored by his big sister (which is the most plausible thing i can think of besides just wanting a matched set - if he liked alice he would’ve wanted to keep her around like the offer he made to el), that kind of parallels the way nancy never responds positively to mike’s attempts to reach out to her. and we know that upsets him. it was written all across his face when she took max’s side over his in that argument they were having

i’m not sure about the creels and the wheelers being like... the same, on a genetic level, but if mike has powers it’s absolutely from karen’s side. ted could never be interesting enough

and while we’re on the topic of mike just casually bringing things to life: the idea of the creel family being entirely fabricated to reflect his own feelings as the black sheep of a family that constantly tells him to bury his feelings, that’s all playing a big game of emotional hide and seek that he just doesn’t get like it’s the easiest thing in the world, that never pays any attention to him unless it’s to tell him that he’s doing something wrong... it scares me, but that, i vibe with

[rmhashauthor]

WIP it, WIP it good

I'm trying something new with my sci-fi softcore romance, along with my usual ideas about plot-heaviness and experimenting with genre-blending. I've been thinking about this one for a bit and I'm excited to get started, especially since I plan to be waaaay more self-indulgent with it in nearly every aspect. This one leans more into grimdark/space-opera/sci-fi noir, and I want to explore concepts like PTSD and living with mental illness/addiction along with imperialism/colonialism and how individuals tend to slip through the cracks. I also want to play with some tropes I haven't before, like the idea of Big Dick Daddy Energy meets Little Miss Daddy Issues and a mongrel version of Enemies to Lovers that's more like "I spent my whole life trying to avoid Guys Like You and yet you're the only person who makes me feel safe enough to let my guard down and yeah maybe we'll hate-fuck in the utility closet". I'm gonna go to some dark places with this one, mostly for my own entertainment 😋

Enjoy!

No one breathed, even the Dreen barkeep leaned forward over the bar and watched, stippled with orange and yellow flashing pores. The Arakan grinned, “Give it up, stranger – I'll have the little bitch under me tonight, and when she screams I'll be thinking of you.”

“Fifty thousand.” It was a long shot, and his guts knotted as he knew he could go no further. Any more would bankrupt him, and if the Arakan won the woman would be dead by morning; he pushed down the horrible thoughts of her long, dreadful night ahead of he lost. The Arakan was silent and drank again from the bottle, a thin dribble of yellow beer trickling down his chin and bubbling over the tiny breathing holes in his throat. He was doing the math, calculating whether or not to make another bid – and the patron held his breath and prayed. They stared at each other, memorizing height, build and stature as the seconds ticked, and though his helm was blacked out the patron sensed that the Arakan knew his species by his frame – his domed helm, bulky cowl and trousers studded with pockets could only hide so much of his identity.

The Drass barker banged the stage again, “Guys, I need a number. Helmet bids fifty, what's your offer 'Rakan?”

The Arakan flung his empty bottle onto the stage, where it shattered and sprayed green glass over the back wall. The woman jerked her hands up to her face, shielding her eyes and screaming in terror, and the patron swallowed a snarl. He didn't even want her, had no idea what he would do with her if he won, but the idea of this barely-sentient piece of shit having her set something wild inside him. “I yield,” announced the Arakan.

“Sold!” bellowed the Drass barker, “Fifty thousand on Helmet for the human female, go backstage and work out your shit.”

The patron could breathe again. I won... Relief settled over him, and he tossed his plastic card back at the hook-handed Dreen he'd taken it from, mumbling sorry as he worked his way along the front row. Passing the Arakan he reached up and touched the side of his helm in a salute, but the Arakan glared at him and peeled his thin greenish-black lips back from needle-like teeth. “You're going to regret that, Helmet. I always get what I want.”

The patron – the winner of this ugly battle – snorted. “You'll never see me again, fucking reptile.” His helm's modulators warped his voice, rendering it unrecognizable from his real speech; even if he was being recorded, his identity would remain a mystery.

“I'll be keeping an eye out for that human,” the Arakan warned, “if I see her again, she is mine.”

The fuck you will. “If you see her again, it'll be the last thing you see.” The helmeted stranger turned his back on the Arakan, a ballsy move in a dive like this one. If the Arakan tried anything the helm's rear-facing camera would alert him, and as he strode away the Arakan merely faded into the background and shadows of the bar. Should've wiped you sister-fuckers out a long time ago, would've made the galaxy a better place.

[boop-le-snoot]

@buckyownsmylife hey babe! Remember that one time you threw that cool challenge? Here's my entry. Prepare to get absolutely ruined because daddy!Bruce is exactly that sort of man.

main masterlist ☀️ taglist

emotional support nerd

Your best friend's dad, Dr. Bruce Banner, is hotter than you thought he would be. 6k words, NSFW. Kind of Alt!Reader - she refers to herself as 'goth' in one instance. Tony Stark makes an appearance because God forbid I write a fanfic without him in it.

This is filthy pron, ft. age difference (reader is college aged) daddy kink, throat fucking, dirty talk, praise kink, cream pie, possessiveness, belly bulge and ending with a hint at a threesome. I really crammed all I could from Eyre's wheel in here, didn't I. Oh well.

"How much longer, dad?" Lyra's annoyed voice struck a chord within me. I tried to hide my snickering - unsuccessfully might I add - causing my best friend to shoot me a hurt look, equally fed up with me as she was fed up with her forgetful adopted father. "You know what, we'll take the subway."

Lyra's father's voice, both agitated and apologetic, reached my ears in bitten-off phrases as the traffic noises around us grew in volume, NYC rush hour rapidly approaching its peak.

With a sound huff, Lyra removed the phone from her ear, staring me down with the most amount of petulance I've ever seen on her usually reserved, placid face. "It's twenty more minutes. Apparently he's driving Tony's car," she offered in the way of explanation, like it actually did anything to better the cold, wet situation we found ourselves in. "Please, and I can't stress this enough, please don't be weird."

I felt a flood of amusement at Lyra's pleading tone. "Darling, if you wanted a normal friend, you should have looked elsewhere," I gestured to my outfit. I looked like a goth boy's wet dream: chunky platformed boots, fishnets, heavy eyeliner. Of course, all in black.

"You know what I mean," she whined, waving off my pointing hand and fixing me with a hard stare. "The least my dad needs is someone that is terrified of him just because sometimes he turns into a big green monkey. It's not as exciting as internet thinks, anyway," the last part of the sentence was mumbled but I heard it nonetheless as Lyra stared out into the traffic, clever eyes looking for a particular car model.

What Lyra didn't know was that I was not at all considering to be terrified by the man who dosed himself with radiation and developed an advanced version of split personality disorder. I could be intimidated by him, sure, because he was incredibly intelligent, a world class scientist with more PhDs than I had zeroes in my bank account, but even despite his green problem, Dr. Bruce Banner was about as far away from 'scary' as a man could be.

The few scarce pictures of him on the internet showed a short, stocky man with kind eyes and salt-and-pepper curls, always dressed in un-ironed, crumpled button-ups with dorky patterns. Looking at him, I mused that there was a high chance he spoke with a stutter and that fact amused me to no end. Jekyll and Hyde, alright.

Lyra was much the same way. Shy and reclusive, with curly brown hair and doe eyes, she spent a good chunk of her first semester in college being avoided by everybody because of her last name; I, on the other hand, avoided everyone out of habit, I'd never been a social butterfly, but the way people subtly made sure to exclude Lyra from all the activities filled me with quiet, seething rage, and I stepped over my general distaste of people and removed my bag from the seat next to me so Lyra could at least study in relative peace.

Yeah, yeah, you've heard it all, I'm sure. Weird goth chick adopts a socially awkward, shunned nerd and they become best friends forever. I had to admit that under the shy exterior, Lyra was smart, witty and even funny sometimes. She was willing to entertain my crude jokes without moaning, at least, and I was perfectly okay with listening to her rant about science every now and then.

Rain banged on the slanted roof of the café we were hiding in, the autumn wind howled, making both of us shiver at the prospect of having to go outside, even if it was for a short moment to run to Lyra's dad's car. The day had started out warm and sunny, but much like a badly calculated chemical formula, it all went downhill a split second after we had set out to leave campus.

"There he is," the grouch in Lyra's expression had me once again unsuccessfully attempting to conceal my snorting.

Nonetheless, I followed her out into the rain, struggling to keep up with the brisk running in my platformed shoes, unceremoniously crawling into the car behind her without sparing a glance at the driver in my eagerness to get out of the freezing downpour.

"Hi, dad," Lyra's tired voice spoke up at the same time as I angrily shook out my hair.

"I've just about McFuckin' had it with New York," I was afraid the dye in my hair would bleed out into my clothes, or even worse, the nice, cream-colored car seats.

"Hello, ladies," the voice that greeted us was low, gravelly and apologetic to boot.

My eyes shot up, meeting an expression full of surprise and amusement. I stared at the shockingly handsome face of Dr. Bruce Banner like a deer in the headlights.

The fine mimic wrinkles had stretched into a resemblance of a smile, soft, plush lips revealing a set of straight, white teeth. The five o'clock shadow framed his jaw, giving it a sharp, defined edge, his clever brown eyes slid down my form, faltering on the pentagram on my belt and my fishnet-covered legs, settling on my chunky boots before hastily snapping back up to my face.

"Dad, this is..." Lyra's voice was full of suspicious bewilderment as she attempted to dissipate the sudden awkwardness.

"Oh, yeah, I'm Dr. Bruce Banner, but you can call me Doc or Bruce," he cleared his throat, turning himself towards the windshield and starting up the car.

"Nice to meet you," I busied myself with putting away any stray hair just to occupy myself with something during the time I needed to recuperate from being just... Looked at by Lyra's dad.

It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I was so taken aback by his handsomeness and his aura of a gentle but powerful man that the ride to Stark tower, however swift, went on in slightly awkward silence. The streets outside were, thankfully, noisy, and the lack of an attempt to have a conversation could easily be attributed to Bruce's need to focus on the road, but Lyra's increasingly concerned looks did very little to settle the sudden racing of my heart.

"C'mon, I'll give you some sweats so you can let your..." Lyra's vague gesture towards my upper body disappeared behind her side of the door. "Hey, Tony," she suddenly interrupted her sentence, very obviously addressing another person who I managed to miss as Bruce parked in the spacious garage.

"I've been told you're finally bringing your friend, Green Pea," a voice I'd heard a thousand times on the TV poked fun at Lyra.

She bent down to retrieve her bag, shooting big eyes at me and mouthing an exaggerated "Sorry!"

Tony Stark looked about a week in debt on sleep, a contrast to the way he usually appeared in public. The exaggerated eyebrow raise made me shuffle awkwardly in my spot; the Led Zep tee caught my eyes as I lingered on it, aware of my own Mötorhead top on display. He noticed it too, causing his face leave the snide territory.

"Wow, I didn't expect kids these days to have any resemblance of taste in music but you've surprised me, Corpse Bride," he gave me a quiet wolf-whistle, watching me through lidded eyes.

I felt my eyebrow crawl upwards at his attitude but Bruce spoke up before I could say anything: "Tony, no," so firmly, I had to raise both of my eyebrows. I felt a smile tug at my lips, the situation strikingly familiar in it's essence. Like father, like daughter...

"No," Lyra's identical expression, fond and annoyed, topped up with an accusing finger pointed in my direction had everyone snorting a giggle at the situation.

"Lyra," I whined, just so I could coax her grin that she was very obviously trying to conceal. "See, I told you, every crazy genius needs their emotional support nerd," I fixed her with a pointed look.

She promptly grabbed me by the arm, leading all of us to the elevator as the two men behind us shared a hearty laugh at my well-timed joke. It was either that or I would have completely embarrassed myself by gaping and drooling over both THE Tony Stark and Lyra's father.

The rush didn't stop there. I was promptly and generously offered not only a spare pair of pants but also a whole room to stay in after an invitation to dinner I simply could not refuse. Dr. Banner firmly coaxed me into staying overnight with his pleading eyes and a hearty seasoning of guilt tripping, softly crooning how he simply could not let a young woman to wander the cold, rainy night in NYC alone.

Tony added something too, in a tone way too surefire and patronising. I guessed he noticed my eyes lingering on Dr. Banner, being a genius and all.

In a short amount of time, I found myself seated at a dinner table next to a happy, giggling Lyra who'd downed a glass of wine and was well into her second. I found it adorable how much of a lightweight she was; not hesitating in the slightest to point out that fact when she made hands for a pitcher of water.

Tony was the first one to snark back something vague about his college days and all the wild parties he used to throw, booing Bruce upon discovery that he, in fact, actually studied in college in favour of partaking in various illicit activities. That had both me and Tony giggling with Lyra promptly joining in, both of us losing it over the running joke or her being either a test tube baby or the result of immaculate conception.

Bruce's face blushed scarlet. He sputtered, a few stray drops of his lemonade landing on the (ironed!) collar of his purple shirt, cough disappearing in the wake of Tony's truly amused cackling. Dr. Banner was well on his way to either choke on his Lo Mein or turn green; thinking quickly, I decided to defuse a situation by sharing a harmless, funny story that happened to me as a freshman.

"I went on a date with this guy who said that music was the most important thing in his life, and I thought, wow, that's so beautiful!" I began my story over Lyra's incessant snickering. "So we had dinner and went back to his place because I'm a whore," the whole table erupted in laughter at my deadpan remark, Tony reaching over to give me a high five.

"And as we got there, he put on one of his demos which was just a bunch of sampled and remixed Guns'n'Roses songs, and I thought wow, that's gotta be one of the worst things I've ever heard," I pointedly looked away as Lyra's cackling grew in volume, having heard the same story several times by now and the outrage I expressed at the situation first hand.

"But instead of that I said, wow, that's so cool! Then we did the thing and his whole bedroom was covered in Axl Rose posters and I'm sure at some point Mr. Rose stared right up my asshole," there were tears streaming down Lyra's face as Tony flopped his upper body onto the table and Bruce convulsed helplessly in a silent fit of giggles. "And then I thought to myself: wow, I would have to pretend to like his music if I dated this guy and I just couldn't do that..." I breathed out, succumbing to the mirth at the dinner table. "It was good but not November Rain good, y'kno?"

Bruce snorted loudly, sliding down his chair with a hand over his face. The table shook with the force of Tony's cackling; I didn't see his expression but the howling, rasping noises sent me into another fit of laughter, right on par with Lyra.

"Is this..." Tony rapidly inhaled the much-needed oxygen. "Is this why you keep wincing whenever I play the 'Roses in the lab?" Tony wheezed and Lyra nodded.

"I just... I can picture it, and I-" she made a vague, encompassing gesture and a face.

"Please, don't," I urged with a snort. "There are better ways to get disappointed."

Dinner went on by smoothly after that, everybody happily making remarks on my dating fail, the topic of Lyra's birth and Tony's college shenanigans dismissed.

I caught Dr. Banner's pointed look as we finished our dessert - he was studying me, eyes searching for something that he very obviously wished was there. From the damp roots of my hair to the soft, cotton top clinging to my chest, I wasn't left unscrutinzed and unexamined. Like one of the many specimens he studied on a daily basis, Bruce lingered on the many characteristics that made me stand out in the grey crowd.

"Would you like to see the labs?" He asked, appearing behind me without a single sound.

The freshly cleaned dishes clattered in my arms. I'd almost dropped them, startled, but Bruce's hand landed on the top of the stack right before the top plate would have slipped off and shattered into pieces on the cold tile of his kitchen.

Blood rushed to my ears. "I'd love to," my brain had briefly returned to reality, the rush of meeting both Stark and Banner succumbing to logic and reason. My and his fields of study briefly overlapped, the question he posed was more than reasonable. In fact, many people would cheat, lie and steal to be in my position.

Bruce smiled, opening a cabinet and taking half of the dishes I was holding to stack them up in their proper place. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, exposing wide, muscular forearms littered with dark, coarse hair.

I was sure my face was flaming. After waving off Lyra's attempts to put shoes on me and leaving her to watch her TV show, a wide, warm palm rested on the back of my waist, gently steering me towards the elevator.

I tried to keep my eyes off Bruce in the large mirror on the walls of the car as it swiftly moved down, scrutinizing my appearance instead. My throat bobbed, the elevator car suddenly too small and too hot.

His eyes left marks on me - invisible ones, the kind that I knew were there just from the scorching heat sizzling on my skin.

There was a certain je ne sais quoi about him. Perhaps, it was in the way he was acting - a polar opposite of what I'd had expected, Dr. Bruce Banner possessed a quiet confidence and his patience appeared to be endless, heartily doused with an appreciation for his closest ones. The way his eyes lit up in response to people smiling around the dinner table was hard to miss.

When Bruce spoke about his research - whatever wasn't classified, anyway - the spark expanded into a mischievous fire. I could hardly understand the nuances in his work, scratch that- I could not understand a single word he was saying, at all. The individual syllables registered as they should, but my traitorous brain could only focus on the way he licked his lips in between quickly inhaled breaths.

"You're not... Following, are you?" The corner of his mouth lifted upwards, clever brown eyes fixed on my face.

God, I hoped I wasn't drooling. But to deny the obvious would have been a stretch. "No, not really," I swallowed, willing my eyes to lift from the large veins on the hand that was pointing at a set of equations. Reasonably good at math any day, they looked like the scribbles of a madman to me at the time.

Dr. Banner sighed, letting silence creep among the whirring machinery in the lab for a brief moment. "I don't scare you?" He removed his glasses, cleaning them with the corner of his shirt.

The question reeked of self-doubt and, perhaps, insecurity. "No," I answered simply, not giving him the slightest chance to find doubt in my words. I was barely holding my voice from shaking, afraid he'd misunderstand my reaction to the sudden change in atmosphere.

He was closer to me than I recalled. My hip was almost brushing his, the bulk of his shoulder millimeters from touching against my bare skin, the smell of something herbal, like tea, and sharp chemicals clouding my senses. It was such a contrasting experience.

Bruce turned to me, an expression between hunger and regret forcing me to shiver and look him straight in the eye. A hand landed on my waist, holding me in place with gentle firmness. "I'm a monster, I could hurt you," he whispered, leaning into me like a touch starved kitten. The man screamed contradiction. "We shouldn't."

Vivid images of the Hulk and the rampages years prior flashed through my mind; the rubble, the collateral damage in the form of many lives. I barely remembered it, having been too little to really understand what was going on. One thing, though, I knew for sure: ever since the world became aware of Lyra's existence, there had been no incidents. Sure, the Hulk still appeared when there was a threat, but there were no documented incidents of the green creature running amok, accidentally.

"You won't hurt me," I spoke with conviction. Perhaps, I was bluffing just slightly but I wouldn't lie like that to myself. The variable, the... Twelve or so percent chance of things going... Awry, it made a small, malicious worm inside of me rejoice and fill my limbs with familiar adrenalised yearning. "You're not a monster. Far from it, actually," I used the hand that was not supporting me against the desk to gently cradle the side of his face, letting my fingertips brush over the rough five o'clock shadow on his cheek.

Bruce emitted a sound somewhere between an agitated grown and a pleading whine, sagging with the sound exhale, pressing himself flush with my chest. His face slipped from my palm, the warm tip of his nose running a steady line up my neck, sending goosebumps running wildly down my back as his hot breath tickled the arch of my throat.

"Baby," the nickname punched a stuttered gasp out of me with the intensity contained in just that one word. "I've been hearing all these amazing things about you," his voice dropped, low baritone rumbling straight into my ear. "I won't be able to hold back. I'll want you all to myself," his bicep flexed under my hand.

My knees would have bucked if I wasn't grasping onto Bruce for dear life after those words. I had some sense of personal pride in me, so while my body was an easy, traitorous thing, my mind was more than eager to participate in this game, to ping pong a little bit before... "Yeah? What things?" I breathed.

Teeth briefly closed around my tender skin, nipping for just a second. "You're kind, beautiful," his hand took a steadfast hold on the back of my neck, exposing my throat to his mouth. More skin to mark, more time to whisper. "Intelligent, bright and clever," the more he spoke, the fiercer he became. Bruce's grasp tightened until I was pliant in it, willingly following his silent commands. "A bit of a pain in the ass," a healthy dose of humour was added into the mix as my ass was roughly grabbed, our fronts pressed together at his insistence.

"That sounds about right," I didn't resist the sudden urge to snark, thoughts lazily floating in my head, like clouds on a bright sunny day, fleeting and sparse. None of them caught on. I was focused on feeling the need, on my need to feel.

A sharp smack landed on the plump of my ass, the sound resonating in the eerily quiet lab. The sounds of machinery had dulled at some point, leaving just the two of us panting our lust into each other's space. "I know you can be a good girl. Will you, princess?" His fingertips dug into my flesh, surpassing the soft sweatpants as if they weren't even there.

I could only nod, dumbly, overcome by the sudden rush of blood to my body. The life coarsing through me sang, demanding a release of the pent-up tension.

"What's that?" Bruce removed himself from my neck, catching my unfocused eyes with a crooked smirk on his lips.

"Yes," I swallowed, breathing through my mouth.

"Mmm," he hummed, running both hands over my sides, over the frayed edges of my Mötorhead top. He admired it, briefly, setting his eyes on the band logo that was right over my breasts. Having decided something to himself, Bruce promptly removed it, lifting it over my head with ease and leaving it right on the science lab table.

Taking hold of my hand, he walked over to a hidden set of sliding doors that revealed a rather large, frequently used bed, shutting them just as I walked in, wearing only my bra and borrowed sweats. My back was pressed to the door in mere seconds, hot palms chasing away the chill of the lab as Bruce slotted his lips over mine.

He tasted like something I've never had before. His lips - so plush and supple, took hold of the kiss with practiced gusto, sucking me in without a chance or the desire to escape. I drank from him, sucked on the bottom lip as his tongue explored my mouth, danced with mine.

The room was spinning, the ringing in my ears growing in volume. I was only partly aware of the sensation of sliding down the wall; our knees thudded on the carpeted floor simultaneously, heavy breathing the only noise I could distinguish.

"Breathe, baby, that's it," Bruce coaxed, gently stroking my nape. The soft cotton of his shirt crumpled under my fingers where I held onto him, desperately searching something to ground myself with.

The buckle of his belt clattered and then clinked again as he wrapped the worn leather around my wrists, bringing them together in front of my chest. I exhaled sharply at the intimate gesture, a whine bubbling up from my chest when Bruce used a single fingertip to raise my chin.

My eyes met his; a brown iris tinged with the faintest of green around the outer edge. "This okay, princess?" He sought my face for confirmation, for agreement, for anything.

I nodded, stuttering mid-gesture, remembering our previous interaction. My mouth did not want to cooperate but I forced it to, even if it came out as little more than a pitiful mewl. "Yes, daddy," the word, sweet and sticky like fruit syrup, poured from my lips.

My eyes slid shut as my conscience - or was it common sense? - took hold of the situation. I was on my knees in front of my best friends dad, a virtual stranger, and I'd just-

Bruce's soft chuckle stopped the negative spiral of my thoughts. "That's my girl," he sounded a tad more breathless now, a hairliner in his perfect façade of self-control. As if he'd sensed my indecisiveness, he tugged on the makeshift restraints, pulling me closer, closer and into his lap.

A warm, solid chest with a healthy amount of fluff greeted me. Bruce let my lax, pliant body fall into his arms, catching me effortlessly and bringing my face to his lips. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, you're my good girl," he peppered soft kisses all over my flaming cheeks, my twitching nose, my fluttering lashes.

"Please," I begged, shame giving way to the flood of arousal that seemingly hit me all at once. I was aware of the dampness collecting in my panties, the stiffness of my limbs from holding back the ravenous desire to paw at Bruce like a wild animal. "Please, daddy..."

"I know, I know, baby girl," he soothed, not stopping his tender assault on my face. "Daddy will make it all better. I know just what you need," Bruce finally pulled away. I heard the sound of him undoing his zipper and then the awkward shuffle of him shucking off his pants.

Somewhere in between of all that, he'd ended up sitting down on the bed, wearing only his boxers, his shirt hanging open. The red crawled down his chest, partially masked by the coarse salt and pepper hair; his lips were cherry red and his hair was sticking out in odd directions. Bruce looked sinful.

My eyes inadvertently landed on the impressive bulge in his boxers; in response to my widened eyes, he reached out for it, stroking the outline of his thick cock through his boxers. "Like what you see, baby?"

"Yeah," My mouth watered.

"Baby wants a fat cock?" He teased, sounding like he knew exactly what he was doing, testing my self-control like that. With a flick of his wrist, it sprang free, slapping against his tummy, coating the fine hairs with drops of clear, musky fluid.

I swallowed, feeling the taste of him from afar and yearning for more where I was parked between his spread legs.

In a gesture almost loving, he tugged on the belt still wrapped around my wrists, bringing my face to his leaking shaft and my hands to the base of it, letting me feel the weight of his balls in them. The cock throbbed, neglected, weighed down by the heaviness of his full balls.

"Go ahead, baby, suck my cock," the encouragement came with a gentle push to my head.

I obediently followed, wrapping my lips around the pink, moist crown of it, a hum beginning in the back of my throat. My God, Bruce tasted heavenly... I whirled and slipped my tongue a around his head, I dipped into the slit to drink the nectar right from the tap, idly coming to awareness of the broken, choked moans coming from the man above me.

Raising my head got me a view of his chin; head thrown back, the lax O of his mouth glistened in the meager light. My eyes slid lower, to the flex of his abs. Bruce fought hard to stay still. The desire consumed me, a sudden rush of power at having Dr. Bruce Banner's cock in my mouth and the man at my mercy; I inhaled, sliding my mouth further and further down his throbbing length.

"Fuck," I heard him mutter before his hands gripped the sides of my face. "Hungry, baby, are you?" His eyes glowed a faint green; I shuddered at the power he held within himself. Held back for me. "Tap my thigh twice," he spoke and I had no choice but to obey. "Okay. Do that if it gets too much, alright?" I nodded. He gave me a wide, beaming smile. "Good girl," he praised, experimentally bucking his hips into my mouth a few times.

In and out. I focused on my breathing, sharp, little inhales: his girth took up all the free space in my mouth, the tip of it barely fit into my throat. The burn, the stretch; I felt every tenth of an inch, every bulging attempt of my body to accommodate Bruce's huge cock. It was delicious, I couldn't help but crave the same stretch in my neglected, sopping wet pussy.

"Fuck, you're taking it so well," Bruce moaned wetly. "Your mouth... S'like heaven... Could fuck it all day, that's my good girl," the rambling increased in it's intensity as the pace of his hips hastened. Drool and tears flowed like a river; my chin was dropping with it, spit connected my face to his pelvis. "Oh," there was a brief pause to his movements; suddenly, he pulled out, fisting the base of his cock, staring me down with a ferocious gleem in his eye.

I must've looked a straight mess; my face like a crime scene, my clothes disheveled, covered in fluids and most of all - I was desperately grinding against my own feet, too focused on the glorious cock in front of me to notice the weakness of my own flesh. "Daddy?" I questioned, wincing at the grating of my own voice.

Without a word, the belt was tugged once more; in a set of movements just slightly north of acrobatic, I found myself laying on my back in the middle of the bed, my sweatpants suffering a haste demise in the corner of the room.

Bruce crawled atop me, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses on every inch of my skin he could reach, mouthing something inaudible into every pore of my body. As he drew closer, I discerned bitten-off phrases, stringing my desire into sticky, tangy mess at the apex of my thighs.

"My perfect baby girl," the words reached me; all tongue, he kissed me once more, arching into me as much as I arched into his hot grasp. A brief inspection of my face - he was satisfied with what he saw - and Bruce crawled back, settling in between my spread legs, breathing hot air on the lips of my sex still covered by a sopping wet piece of fabric.

"Oh fuck," I yelped, feeling him smooch it soundly, the hot wetness of his tongue penetrating the meagre lace barrier with ease.

He moved it aside anyway, with a single finger, giving my pussy a broad lick, moaning into my cunt like a man gone mad. It took a few more licks for him to feel sated enough to surface, all the while holding my hips down. I was so sensitive, I felt even the tiniest flicks to my clit, I was sure if I didn't cum then and there, I would explode.

"Such a pretty pussy, princess," his heavy breathing paused briefly. He nipped my thigh. "So wet, is that all for me?"

"Yes, yes, daddy," I rasped, pushing my cunt into his face, losing all shame and trepidation.

"So tasty," he continued the torture, outlining my lower lips before taking another nosedive right into it, swirling his tongue around every fold, sucking onto my clit.

Bruce ate my pussy until my thighs shook, until my core quivered and I could no longer hold back the choked, ragged screams starting somewhere in the low of my belly and coming out as unholy, all-consuming yowls filled with unadulterated lust.

"Louder for me, baby," he inhaled rapidly, and then, he sucked on my clit.

The world stopped, halted on it's axis, every muscle going rigid in my body and every nerve ending simultaneously coming alive. Faintly, I heard a chant, repeating two syllables over and over, it sounded like my voice - but I had no control over myself. All I could do was weakly grind my hips against Bruce's mouth, faltering when the crashing waves of my orgasm began to recede.

The infuriating overstimulation stopped; blinking hazily, I saw Bruce's eyes glimmer brown and green in front of my face. His nose and his chin was glistening with a thin coat of sticky fluid; disheveled and red, he looked a man on the verge of a revelation.

Something hot and blunt nosed at my cunt, bringing back the moment to me - I realized, with a great deal of impatience - how empty I felt. The decision was minute. "Daddy, fuck me, please, I want your cock," the words came easily.

"That's my girl," his eyes fluttered shut as the first inches squeezed through the snug of my cunt. I was sopping wet and as relaxed as I'd be, but even then, it was a stretch. "Good girl, good baby," the mumbled praise made me whine and my pussy clamp on his cock. "Relax, let daddy fill you up." Breathing through it, I consciously unwound myself around him, letting my palms rest freely on his shoulders. "Let daddy take care of you."

Like melted sugar, his husked words stuck to me inside and out. Short, sharp thrusts; Bruce was patiently burrowing himself inside of me, making his way to reach the deepest parts of me I didn't even know existed. His cock head pressed against something hard and spongy inside of me; stars burst behind my eyes I'd clamped shut on reflex.

I moaned weakly, tugging on his arm, pressing myself closer. It felt so, so good. Like a raw nerve had been exposed and he was stroking it, pushing that little switch with every stroke of his hips.

"I'm not gonna last," he muttered as once again, my cunt squeezed him snugly in place, just as greedy as I was to feel that tiny explosion spark up within me again.

"I want..." I panted. Bruce set in a punishing pace after that, a palm under my ass, squeezing it so hard there would definitely be bruising. I craved it, I needed to see the evidence this was not some elaborate fever dream. "I want... Daddy to fill me up," words came out garbled; it sounded like gibberish to my ears but Bruce - they spurred him on.

"Oh yeah?" That breathless, boyish cockiness was back in his voice again; despite how fucked out he sounded, I prepared myself for something truly out of this world. I just knew.

He sat back on his shins, dragging me by the hips with him, making me shiver and moan and twitch and clamp onto him again as his throbbing cock hit that special spot again. And again. And again.

"Look at me, baby," a hand on my belly and his eyes burning right through me. As they slid down, towards the apex of my thighs where he was still moving within me almost lazily, I saw it.

"Oh fuck," I couldn't utter much more than a two-syllabled profanity. There was a bulge in my belly, just above my pelvis, moving in rhythm with Bruce's hips. And then he pressed on it and I-

Something, someone, somewhere was screaming. The noise was loud and pitched, but even then, I could barely hear it though the neverending waves of bliss that enveloped my whole being. Gold and silver at the edges of my rapidly darkening vision; I was drowning in something that smelled and felt like Bruce. The safety of his arms, the warmth of his heated body, the rapid snapping of his hips-

Oh.

"I'm gonna, fuck," the last word was but a ghost of a human speech. Growling low and filthy, Bruce leaned into my ear, his breath hot and moist. "Mine," his hips stuttered, his cock nestled deep, the sensation bordering on painful, forcefully extracted pleasure. It throbbed with every spurt of his seed; each one felt like a solid punch in the gut to my abused pussy.

"Daddy," I mewled, my body jerking away from him but my mind and my soul yearning for more. His rapidly softening flesh made the idea of being separated unbearable.

"S'good, s'my good girl, m'so proud," he mumbled, looking slightly disoriented as he removed himself from me, immediately pressing me to his side and interwining any free, flailing limbs.

We laid in silence, each of us slowly coming back to Earth after the completely unreal experience we just had. I didn't know what to think, didn't know what to do as the realization set in, the post-orgasmic haze giving way to a sudden rush of clarity.

"I can hear you overthinking," Bruce's voice was fond.

Before I could muster up the courage to snark back, the divided doors opened, one very concerned Tony Stark standing there, armed with a tranquilizer gun in one hand and a pack of cookies in the other. His mouth, previously open to (probably) yell at us, remained as open when his eyes had registered the scene in front of him.

I stared at Bruce. Bruce stared at Tony.

"The noise," he offered in the way of explanation, dangling the pack of cookies, looking, for once - speechless. He recovered quickly, however, even if the remark was a thin ghost of his usual sass: "You pick the nerd over me? I'm hurt," he scoffed in mock irritation, although I was pretty sure I saw some satisfaction in there, too.

Bruce looked at me. I looked at Bruce.

A mischievous grin slowly crept up his face, an identical one beginning to appear on my own face seconds after.

"Hey, two nerds is better than one, right?" My response is what did it; or, rather, it was the evidence of my previous throat-fucking clearly audible in my voice... Tony dropped the cookies and then, the tranq gun.

Bruce Banner taglist: @pilloclock @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @persephonehemingway @mostly-marvel-musings @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites @sapphicnoodle69 @couldntbedamned @xoxabs88xox @marvelsbanner @tripleyeeet @tatestripedsweater @stuckybarton

[makeste]

some follow-up thoughts on BnHA 306

mostly Deku angst, but also a little Baku angst (and some TodoBaku angst) mixed in for good measure. because there’s plenty of angst to go around.

1. “if I’d only been stronger...”

I’ll talk more about Deku later in this post as well, because there’s definitely plenty to talk about; this is the most character development he’s gotten in almost 200 chapters. but for starters, I want to discuss the possible parallels between Deku’s current character arc, and what is arguably the most iconic moment of angst/character development in the series.

remember how this kid, who up until this point had rarely seemed to give two fucks about the world around him, suddenly revealed that he blamed himself for being the downfall of All Might? remember how it came almost out of nowhere? how he’d been hiding it, and trying to suppress it? “but even if I try to forget... sometimes it all just comes rushing back.”

yeah. so anyway, I got to thinking -- if being the cause of one hero’s downfall could affect someone this badly, what about being responsible for the downfall of all heroes?

what if a boy who wanted nothing more than to keep people safe suddenly found himself at the epicenter of a disaster that killed hundreds, possibly even thousands of people?

now obviously, this is not the sole thing that’s troubling Deku right now; this kid has a whole array of traumas as of the War arc. like, you know it’s bad when Society As We Know It Coming To An End Partially Because Of You is the least of your problems. but still, I think this is worth bringing up, because the hero kids blaming themselves for things that aren’t their fault is hardly anything new. and yet, what with everything else that’s been going on -- all of the Todoroki drama, and Vestige revelations, and hospital antics, and political strife -- I feel like it’s easy to forget or overlook this little detail.

the fact is that AFO put this entire plan into motion solely in the hopes of finally obtaining OFA. every single thing that happened at Jakku -- Tomura powering up; Machia waking up and going on his rampage (after being ordered to do so by Tomura); and even Dabi/Touya choosing this moment to finally strike (because he knew this was when the reveal would do the maximum damage -- when people’s faith in heroes was already wavering) -- every last bit of it can ultimately be traced back to AFO’s desire to steal OFA. which, obviously, makes it AFO’s fault, not Deku’s. but then, Kamino wasn’t actually Katsuki’s fault either. it wasn’t his fault the villains went after him (but he blamed himself anyway), and it wasn’t his fault that people got hurt in the ensuing battle to save him (but he blamed himself anyway).

just. I think we’re underestimating just how strong of an impact all of this likely had on Deku. we haven’t really had the chance to see him process it yet. he’s been too busy, and there have been too many other things going on. but I’m telling you guys, that empty look in his eyes in the final page of the chapter? I can all but guarantee you that at least some of that emotional weight is coming from this.

sure would be nice if he had a friend who knew exactly what that was like, and could help him process the guilt and all of the other associated emotions, just like Deku once helped him. unfortunately I’m not so sure things will be that easy this time around. anyways though let’s move on to a couple of other thoughts and speculations.

2. “...and I bullied him.”

one of my least-favorite BnHA fanfic tropes is the one where the rest of class 1-A somehow finds out about Katsuki and Deku’s history -- i.e. that Katsuki bullied Deku throughout most of their childhood. mind you, it’s not the concept itself that I dislike; it’s mostly how it’s used. a lot of times it’s just an excuse to have all of the other kids turn on Katsuki and ostracize him; either because the author thinks that’s what he deserves, or else so that Deku can eventually come to his rescue and defend him and shame the rest of the class for not seeing how much he’s changed. either way, it’s usually pretty awkward to read, and more often than not the characters are pretty OOC (especially Ochako and Todoroki).

however! there’s a big difference between fanfic and canon, and just because I’m not a fan of this trope in the former doesn’t mean it couldn’t be executed well in the latter. and lately I’ve been thinking about this a lot. mainly for three reasons:

the recent (can we still call it recent?? well whatever) scene where Katsuki confessed to All Might that he used to bully Deku is now one of my favorite scenes in the entire series, and proof that this can be executed well.

both Todoroki and Deku have finally had their respective big secrets revealed to the rest of the class. so like, idk. feels like it just might be secret-revealing season now, you know?

and lastly, as a result of Deku’s secret about OFA finally being revealed, the rest of 1-A now either knows, or can extrapolate, that he used to be quirkless.

and from there, I feel like it’s not all that hard to put two and two together with how terrible Kacchan and Deku’s relationship was when they first started at UA. that’s not a terribly difficult puzzle to solve. so I feel like it might come out anyway, and if so, I’d prefer Bakugou telling them himself, and taking responsibility as part of his atonement process. because we know that he regrets it. we know their relationship has changed. we know that he has changed. and so I think I might like to see this.

alternately, if confessing to the entire class is too much, at the very least I could see him confessing to Shouto, because I’ve always felt like this was one of the big things that made Katsuki so resistant to letting Todoroki call him a friend. because I feel like there’s a part of Katsuki that saw the parallels between Endeavor’s abuse of Shouto and his own bullying of Deku, and thought, he wouldn’t be so quick to call me his friend if he actually knew the truth. and so there’s actually been this roadblock wedged between them this whole time that Shouto doesn’t even know about. because Shouto hates Endeavor. and so it’s not such a leap to assume he’d hate Katsuki too if he knew just how terrible he’d been to Deku when they were younger.

not that I think he actually would! actually I don’t think either of those things is actually true (because Shouto clearly doesn’t hate his father either, in spite of everything that’s happened). but the point isn’t what I think -- the point is what Katsuki thinks. and I really do think there’s a good chance he’s worried about Shouto hating him, and it’s one of the things that’s made him so reluctant to accept his friendship. anyway, so I’m really just rambling now, but you get my point. I don’t know if this is actually going to happen, but it’s a scene I would like to see if Horikoshi decides to indulge me.

3. “...so when you wake up, please give him my best.”

and now, as promised, back to Deku.

ngl guys, when I first saw this image, my immediate thought was that Gran must have died. because I mean, hello, leaving U.A.?? donning himself in his teacher’s old cape?? empty, exhausted look in his eyes?? what else were we supposed to think lol.

but maybe that was an overreaction. because when I think about it more, Gran’s death isn’t strictly necessary in order to push Deku over the edge. first of all, there’s already the whole “hero society is in ruins now because of you” thing I mentioned earlier. but also, there are just so many other things. like, let’s just list them here because omg. what a rough couple of days this kid had.

he was forced to battle TomurAFO and was terribly injured in the process (most of which was his own fault, but he wouldn’t have gone that far with OFA unless he felt like he had no choice)

and it wasn’t just him that was injured, either. in fact, even though he tried to act as bait to keep everyone else safe, he wasn’t able to stop three of the people closest to him from nearly being killed right before his eyes

and of course that last one was especially traumatic, because it was Kacchan, and because he had to watch Kacchan nearly die just to protect him. out of all the things that Deku witnessed in this arc, this might be the one that had the biggest impact on him

he was also basically helpless to do anything to protect Shouto and Endeavor when Dabi showed up. so again, we have this running theme of people he cares about being hurt and him not being able to save them

and he also got sucked into the OFA Interstellar Dream Vortex for a brief spell during the battle, during which he learned that AFO had possessed Tomura. more importantly, he learned that Tomura was Nana’s grandson, a fact which was only briefly touched on during that scene, but which I think wound up being the trigger to the whole avalanche that ended with Deku leaving UA. but more on that in a moment

anyway so just to wrap this all up, the battle eventually ended, Tomura got away despite all of their efforts, and then Deku wound up comatose in the hospital for two days. which brings us to the most recent chapters, during which

Deku learns that he will be the last wielder of OFA, whether he likes or not

Deku learns the identity of the last two mystery OFA users

and then at some point, he wakes up and presumably talks to Gran, and winds up with his cape

something happened during these last two scenes which helped to push Deku over the edge. I won’t delve into the matter of the Second or Third users for now, although most of you already know my suspicions regarding that, and I do think that would fit into the general pattern here (that is, the pattern of Deku feeling more and more strongly that he is putting the people around him in danger, and his fear of losing them becoming so overwhelming that it eventually pushes him to leave).

but that’s not what I want to talk about for now. what I want to talk about is Gran. specifically, what it is that Deku discussed with Gran. and this is where we come back to that reveal I mentioned earlier -- that Tomura is Nana’s grandchild.

basically, what I think happened is that Deku mentioned seeing Nana in the OFA Zany Psychedelic Spirit Void, which led to the topic of Tomura, and the fun fact Deku recently learned about him being related to Nana. this, in turn leads to Gran divulging his various regrets about everything that happened with him and Nana and Kotarou. his intent is to apologize to Deku for placing the burden of their failures on him. unfortunately, the part that Deku actually gets fixated on instead is this:

All for One hunted down and killed Nana’s son (and probably her husband as well), and stole her grandchild and psychologically tortured him into becoming a mass murderer, for no other reason than that Nana had once held OFA

in other words, AFO can and will hurt and kill anyone Deku is close to, anyone who has any kind of connection to him at all, without mercy, and regardless of whether it actually gives him any kind of tactical advantage or not. he’ll do it simply to hurt him. no other reason necessary.

I don’t know about you, but for me that would be a terrifying realization. and for Deku, I think it just might have been the tipping point.

so, let’s recap.

Deku learns that AFO is after him

AFO/Tomura very nearly kills several of Deku’s most important people, including Kacchan

and then he learns that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and realizes that all of their lives are still in danger and will continue to be as long as Deku is AFO’s target

and then add to all of this the misplaced guilt about society already being shambles, and the heroes already having more than enough to worry about. they’re barely holding things together as it is. and we already know how Deku feels about being a burden to them:

and so instead, he leaves. of course he does. in hindsight, I think this was inevitable.

the question is, did anyone else also put the pieces together in time to realize what Deku was planning before he actually left? specifically, did Katsuki, who understands Deku’s self-sacrificial nature better than anyone else, see the signs and put two and two together? like he did back at Jakku?

and if he did, would Deku have been willing to accept his help again?

somehow, I can’t help but think it might not be that easy this time.

anyway, so that was a lot of rambling, lol. sorry about that. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS about all of this angsty shit. tired nomad Deku needs hugs and comfort and someone to reassure him that he doesn’t have to face this alone, and that everything is going to be all right. HE IS JUST A LITTLE BOY. this is too much, and I cannot handle any of these feels, and oh my god, somebody please help him.

[sexy-opium-ravioli]

Dating Fern the Human HCs:

*Fern is 18 in this babes :3, NSFW under the cut*

Dynamics:

Oh boy. Lots to unpack here.

First off, Fern isn't Finn. While he's technically Finn from another timeline, the grass demon and *that* Finn have merged so seamlessly that they're one unit at this point. That's it that's my AU-

His identity issues, ironically enough, make up a lot of his identity itself. While he was Finn, Fern didn't truly understand the concept of identity, only that he was Finn the Human, champion of Bubblegum and hero of Ooo. To his younger self, it wasn't something that you curated necessarily, but just something that happened. Oh, how wrong he was.

Now he suddenly wasn't that. Now he was Fern, someone who wasn't really supposed to... Exist.

So, needless to say while you're a part of the solution in helping him move on from that type of culture shock, you're also his ticket into rebranding his identity.

The key is trying to persuade him into seeing being different from Finn is a good thing! And in a healthy way this time, Jesus.

That whole 'I'll be the only Finn in Ooo thing?' yeah DON'T encourage that-

Moving on from the past is crucial, so reminding him that while he can appreciate his experiences it's sometimes better to look to the future, to make new experiences as the Fern he is than the Finn he was.

✨Romance✨

Fern knew you from when he was Finn, so if there's a hangup in moving on from his past in your budding relationship, it might be you.

But there's also potential, and that's something he needs to see!

The sun sets over Ooo, two headed crows scan the horizon for shiny treasures, and you walk up to the treehouse's roof in order to spend some time with Fern.

This is how you two become friends.

After adventures spent with Finn and Jake, you'd always come home to Fern, always make him grass tea and dirt cakes to make sure he was fed.

You two would talk about anything and everything; and even though, in the beginning, they were mainly just rant sessions with Fern getting all of his negative emotions out, they eventually morphed into more.

Interests, plans, secrets Fern never knew about you when he was Finn. There were things about you that intrigued him, things that he could relate to *as* Fern, and things he would disagree with.

All of these conversations built a bigger picture of you in his mind, resplendent and detailed to the iota.

Through all the adventures you and Fern went through, that roof was home. It was a haven for sunsets and sunrises, a safe place where the moon would shine.

It was also the place where you two first kissed.

There was no build up, really. The day was spent wandering Ooo, visiting kingdoms and shopping for supplies. So when you two went home and made your pilgrimage to the roof to talk, it felt casual. Fern blushed, looked away, and then he kissed you. And that was that.

You two tried to keep it a secret, but Marceline kinda saw while she was stalking Finn and Jake and kinda told everyone-

So the cat was out the bag on the get go, really.

Although Fern was kind of embarrassed and angry, you mollified those worries pretty easily. You just had to kiss his grassy cheek to soothe him and make him blush.

Things went pretty slowly after that, but Fern was kinda thankful for that type of pace. It's like how Jake described, they were steps.

NSFW

And then you two got to step fifteen.

Look, Ooo is a busy place with many complex characters and complicated relationships. Add adventuring as a job on top of that? You and Fern never really got time to even grow close when he was Finn.

But, for now at least, adventuring was on the back burner until the boy could get his temper tamped down. One thing at a time, right?

So, what are two lovesick teenagers to do when they're left to their own devices?

Again, this is just something you both kind of... Slipped into. Ha ha. Ha.

Seriously though, it felt *right*. You two spent the day doing chores around the house you built together, and then nighttime came. Dinner was cooked and then eaten, dishes were washed, and then it came to be a mutual agreement to make love.

Mutual agreement. I'm a horrible writer I make this sound like a contract-

It was raining, hard. Wind was howling against the walls of the house, but it was warm inside your home.

Fern looked in your eyes, and there was something desperate and wanting in them. It's not the type of dark hunger men feel, but it was the yearling love of a boy who wanted to be a part of your world in the most intimate ways.

Eye contact. Lots of it. Maybe some tears on both of your parts.

Fern's texture is like laying on a field on a sunny day, and when he's inside you, you feel just as warm and at ease.

He tries to hide his face in your neck and bites his lip to keep his moans back, but you better cut that shit out real quick-

Fern loves your voice. He is also a tits man. Do not fight me on this.

He was starting to rock into you a little faster, at a stronger pace. His strength left unchecked, he held your hips tight enough to form bruises later, but you didn't care much.

He came in you right after you had your own orgasm, the sensations almost being too much for the man. He bit into your shoulder and tasted blood.

And then he almost immediately freaked out and apologized, which you decided to forgive with a giggle and outstretched arms.

And that's where he always would belong- in your embrace.

[the-ferocious-kittyrose]

Rewriting Haggar/Honerva’s redemption arc

One of the many things that bothered me about VLD S8 is Honerva’s redemption arc. While I was never fully against the idea of Honerva getting a redemption arc, I just didn’t want VLD to do it because I knew that they would fuck it up if they tried. And low and behold, I was right!

But yeah, I wasn’t against the idea of her being redeemed. And I don’t mean “redeemed” as in “all is forgiven and she’s just a good guy now,” but more like a Darth Vader, “the things she did were inexcusable and she would never be able to right all her wrongs but she goes out on one good act to show that there was still good in her deep down and she at least had the potential to change.”

I know a lot of people don’t like the whole, “redemption=death” thing, which I understand, but I personally never had a problem with it.

Ok, so why didn’t Honerva’s redemption work? Well there are a few reasons but the one that baffles me the most is that, instead of trying to make her more sympathetic, season 8 seemed to go out of its way to show her being more evil and vile than ever.

And because I have nothing better to do, I’m gonna go through Honerva’s story in VLD and explain what I would change to make her redemption more believable.

(Keep in mind I am not a writer, this is just me ranting about my favorite character and how I personally would’ve written her.)

1. Realizing she’s Altean

I always thought it’s was weird that when Allura said “you’re...Altean!?” In the S2 finale, Haggar didn’t seem to react at all, she just kept attacking. It’s as if she didn’t care or already knew, which doesn’t make sense considering in the S3 finale and S8E2 it’s established that Haggar has no memory of who she was before she died. And in S4E3 she seems shocked by her Altean face (which also doesn’t make sense because her blue skin isn’t camouflage that’s just how she looks after the rift) so it seems like she didn’t know.

Wouldn’t it have made more sence if after Allura said “you’re...Altean!?” Honerva looked confused/shocked? If she became defensive and said Allura was lying/trying to insult her? There’s def anti-Altean propaganda in the empire so it would be considered an insult.

After that she starts questioning Zarkon. And when she looks into his mind, it’s out of genuine curiosity and desire to know the truth, not because, “the empire needs him” or whatever that meant.

And isn’t it a bit odd that she doesn’t seem betrayed at all when she finds out Zarkon has been keeping all this from her? She’s just like, “oh, you’re my husband? Cool.” Wtf???

2. Her past relationship with Zarkon

Okay, I love Zonerva, but if we’re being honest, Zarkon was not the best husband. He enabled the shit out of Honerva, even when it was obvious that the rift was doing serious damage to her physical and mental health. To me, it seems like Zarkon was so blinded by the power the rift gave him that he didn’t realize/ignored the negative effect it was having on Honerva. In the same way he downplayed the negative impact the rift had on the planet.

I think that should’ve been explored more. Maybe Honerva notices that she’s been acting differently and is worried somethings wrong (think S5 Kuron). And Honerva tries to tell Zarkon that she feels strange and Zarkon just brushes it off.

And later, when Alfor visits Diaibazaal years later. Things are pretty much the same except when we sees Honerva, she is very obviously pregnant and Alfor’s there when Honerva falls and goes into labor (instead of a random quintessence seizure). Alfor and many Galran doctors try their best to save her and the baby but she dies in childbirth.

Zarkon goes ballistic. He’s yelling, throwing doctors across the room, and Alfor turns to the doctor holding Lotor and tells them to get the baby to safely, fearing Zarkon will take his grief out on the baby.

Zarkon turns on Alfor, blaming him for Honerva’s death and accusing him of letting her die so that he could get his way and close the rift. He lunges Alfor and roars at him to leave.

He spends the rest of the night grieving at Honerva’s bedside, when Kova jumps on the bed and starts gnawing on her finger trying to wake her up. This is what gives him the idea to bring her back with quintessence.

3. Her current relationship with Zarkon

I think it’s pretty safe to say that they’re relationship didn’t get better after the war began. Zarkon hid her identity and her child from her for 10,000 years and essentially used her as a tool of war. It’s pretty fucked up.

I know it’s pretty well established that Zarkon treats Haggar with more respect than his other underlings, but I feel like it would be interesting to see that change overtime. We see that after Voltron comes back, Zarkon becomes very obsessed with Voltron/Black, and he and Haggar start disagreeing more and more.

Remember the moment where one of Haggar’s druids told Zarkon Haggar said he needed to rest and Zarkon hit them with his bayard and told them, “remember who your master is”? What if, instead of a random druid, it was Haggar who he hit?

I feel like that would be a good way to show Haggar and the audience just how much Zarkon’s obsession with Voltron is affecting him, and make the audience feel a tiny bit bad for her.

Then later in season 4, when Zarkon wakes up from his coma and finds out Haggar brought Lotor back to take his place he gets pissed. He puts a price on Lotor’s head and has Haggar arrested for treason. She steals a ship, escapes, and later on meets up with Lotor’s generals.

Her and Zarkon are officially broken up and her quest to reclaim her identity and get her son back begins.

4. Oriande

I never liked the concept of chosen/sacred Alteans. The idea that some Alteans are just born more powerful than others just feels iffy. My idea of Oriande is that it’s an Altean holly land, any Altean can enter it just depends on whether or not you can pass the White Lion’s trial. Passing the trial proves that your intentions are pure and and the White Lion will bless you with power.

I didn’t like how Honerva seemed to force her way into Oriande, I think it would be more effective if she had gone through normally because, at this point, her intentions were pure. She was going there to purge herself of the dark magic corrupting her and reclaim her memories so she could go get her son back.

I also like the idea that Oriande is a sorta link to the Altean after life, and you can speak with people you’ve lost. Allura gets to speak with Alfor, and Honerva speaks with her mother.

You could also have her be confronted by the spirits of the Alteans she helped destroy. Have the weight of her past actions bear down on her. An important part of any redemption arc is acknowledging the terrible shit you’ve done in the past, and that was severely lacking in Honerva’s arc.

Another interesting thing you could do is have Honerva talk to her younger self. The one that died 10,000 years ago. This kinda thing actually happened in 80s Voltron, young Haggar appearing in Haggar’s head trying to convince her to be good again.

5. Her relationship with Lotor

Now this is where the redemption arc really falls apart. I forget who, but one of the writers said after S5 that Haggar/Honerva was motivated purely by love for her son, but man did they do a bad job of showing that.

And it would’ve been so easy to fix that problem, just have her not be horrible to him. Have them have actual civil conversations, have her protect and defend him. Don’t have her reject him as a fucking baby!

Imagine if, after Zarkon destroys Lotor’s planet, instead of immediately deciding to

exile him, Zarkon says that this is the final straw and he’s going to have Lotor executed. But Haggar speaks up to defend Him. There’s actually a scene in DOTU where Zarkon tries to kill Lotor and Haggar gets on her knees and begs for him to be spared. (Though the scene was mostly played for laughs.)

she asks for mercy and justifies it by saying it would be unwise to kill his only heir. It’s a weak argument, Lotor’s a half breed and couldn’t realistically take the throne, but Zarkon does concede, he still loves her after all, and has Lotor exiled.

And Haggar isn’t spying on him because she doesn’t trust him, but because she’s concerned for him. When Lotor confronts Haggar about sending her cronies after him, she says she knows he’s hiding something. Lotor asks if she’s threatening him, thinking she’s going to rat him out, but she says no, she’s not threatening him, she’s just trying to warn him against doing anything stupid because, with Zarkon seemingly on his death bed, the empire needs Lotor’s leadership.

At this point in the story, Haggar is questioning her loyalty to Zarkon, so I feel like it would make sense for her to be silently supporting Lotor from the shadows.

Then at the Kral Zera in season 5, It was weird to me how she was helping Lotor through Kuron while also telling him he couldn’t be emperor and trying to put Sendak on the throne. I feel like it would’ve made more sense for Sendak to just show up on his own without Haggar.

Haggar wouldn’t even be at the Kral Zera, she would just watch through Kuron.

And then we get to S6 when she actually reveals to Lotor that she’s his mom. This scene was just so poorly done. She never actually apologizes to him, she’s just like “yeah I forgot you were my kid and I never loved you, but were cool now right?” I remember when I saw S8E2 and it shows her after Lotor rejects her and she looks like she’s about to cry, I was just thinking, “this would be very emotional and sad IF she had actually apologized and made it clear that she genuinely loved him.” But she didn’t and I don’t know why!

And then we get to season 8, and of course everything in S8 is bad but Honerva’s story is particularly bad. She’s supposed to be motivated by love for Lotor yet she doesn’t act like she actually cares about him at all.

She manipulates his corpse and when she sees his gross melted body, she doesn’t even react that much. When a mother sees her child’s mutilated corpse, how do you think she reacts? Screaming? Crying?? Hurling??? But no. She’s just like, “...”

And then when she goes to the alternate reality and meets baby Lotor and he rejects her, her reaction isn’t disappointment or sadness, it’s anger and entitlement. She immediately decides, “ok, fuck this kid. Let’s destroy this reality.”

It just doesn’t make sense! This is the season you’re trying to REDEEM her! Why are you going out of your way to make her so vile?

6. Her S7-S8 plan

(Keep in mind I haven’t watched S7/S8 since they came out and barely even watched S8 to begin with, so I don’t remember some things and I can’t be bothered to rewatch them.)

Okay, starting with S7, she’s not in this season at all but in “The Ruins” the druid dude says that her final order was to hunt and destroy the Blade of Marmora. I guess it makes a certain amount of sense because she saw that it was Keith who brought Lotor’s actions to light, but that whole plot was really pointless in my opinion. (Was anybody really hoping for a rematch between Keith and that one random druid?)

If you want us to forgive Honerva for her crimes, you really shouldn’t keep adding more unnecessary crimes. It’s established that there were a lot of Galra war lords vying for power and pirates looking for money, just have it be that Kolivan got kidnapped by one of them.

Then you have her season 8 plan and I’m gonna be real with y’all, I have no idea how to fix this mess.

I feel like the basics of her plan could work. She tries to get Lotor and Sincline out of the rift but when she gets him he’s a melted corpse so the plan then becomes to use sincline to go to another reality to find a living Lotor, but opening all these rifts causes problems and the paladins have to stop her.

But all the shit with manipulating the colony Alteans, killing the White Lion, desecrating Oriande, and destroying Olkarion and entire realities, it was all so unnecessary.

Personally I would cut the colony Alteans from the story all together, there are other ways for Lotor to betray the team. It was a lazy way of making Lotor 100% evil and having Honerva manipulate them is unnecessarily cruel, especially in the season you’re trying to redeem her.

Here’s a very basic outline of how I would do this plot.

If we’re going by season 8’s logic that she needs a sacrifice to bring back Sincline, I would’ve had the Galra she killed at the Kral Zera be the sacrifice, not the White Lion. She stands on the pyramid and talks about how the empire stole her life from her and she wants revenge as she absorbs their quintessence into herself and then uses that to bring back Sincline.

Then when she finds Lotor dead she takes Sincline and uses it to go to another reality where she can be with her family.

The danger comes when she opens rifts to the other realities and rift creatures start coming out and causing damage. The paladins fight them and follow her into the rift to stop whatever evil plan she may have. Because the paladins don’t know that Haggar is now Honerva and all this is just to get Lotor back. They think this is all some plan for multiverse domination or some shit.

Meanwhile Honerva has just been rejected by little Lotor and seeing Voltron show up pushes her over the edge and they fight.

But when they find out the real reason she’s doing all this they start trying to appeal to her and convince her to give up and close the rift peacefully. And similarly to how the paladins had to sacrifice the castle to close the rifts created by the fight with Lotor, Honerva has to sacrifice herself to close the rifts.

In the end, I feel like a Honerva redemption arc could’ve worked if the writers were actually competent and actually made an effort to have her be sympathetic, but In canon, her reasoning, “If I can’t indulge in the simple joys of life, why should anybody else?” just doesn’t cut it.

It’s disappointing. VLD had so much potential. I’m thinking of just rewriting the entire series from the beginning. Hopefully putting all my thoughts out into the universe will help me move on.

[blackberry-gingham]

Excluding your main blorbos, which X-Men member would you love to write the most?

Gosh, idk tbh!! There's a lot of other mutants that are very cool to me, so it's hard to decide 😂

I would write a gambit x reader in a heartbeat tbh, just a one shot to get it all out. I really like Magneto, mystique, jubilee, and storm too tho but they would all be more like character studies I think lol. Although if I had to choose one.... I'd go for mystique.

It's like, yeah yeah, I know she's Kurt's mom and all, but it's actually really not about that tbh. I think she's very interesting and has a lot of potential for a "discovery/questioning of self" type story, which I do so enjoy. Basically, her thing is that she can be anyone she wants to be right? She can look as normal as any human, or.... She can not.

There's a surprisingly well written scene in the animated series where she just straight up tells Kurt "yeah, I threw you off that cliff bc I enjoy easy living by disguising myself as rich women and replacing them, and you were inconvenient for my lifestyle". She also tells him that basically, while yes, humans shun him for his appearance it's like " well boohoo" bc he at least has his own identity, while she on the other hand claims she is distrusted even by her fellow mutants, simply bc it's so easy for her to be anyone else that she feels she has no identity of her own. The curse of a shape shifter, if you will.

This concept of "should I look human to fit better into society or should I be true to myself, difficult as it may be" is also explored in X-Men first class, and when it looks like maaaaaybe she does want to be her true, blue form, beast basically smashes her heart and calls her ugly when looking like that djsjsjdjd which is a whole other topic about what chased her over to Eric, but yeah.

Anyway, I don't know what exact plot and all I'd write for her, but I do think there's soooo much that could be explored with her emotional state and world view, it could make a pretty deep character study if I could pull it off. Just, there's so much weight that could be put into either side of the "fake looking human and lose the real me in the process/embrace looking mutant and get shunned by most for it" argument, it would be fascinating to see what she would choose if she was out in a particular situation and made to confront it. But mostly it's interesting bc, whatever she chooses.... She's not exactly wrong either way.

Who knows, maybe she's right to want to put on a constant facade and hide her true nature? Or, maybe she could take Magneto's speech about being her real self, and instead grow to be her own person instead of manipulated into his assassin/spy under the guise of acceptance.

[true-blue-megamind]

What Makes Hal a Great Villain?

Okay, I’m saying it upfront: this one is going to get a little dark and very real.  Potential triggers for harassment, stalking, sexual predation.  Nothing graphic or heavy, of course, but if these are especially highly sensitive subjects for you, please proceed with caution.

Also, SPOILER ALERT for anyone who has not yet watched the animated awesomeness that is Megamind.  (If you are that person, the DVD is on sale on Amazon, and the movie is available to stream on NowTV.  Go watch it.  I’ll wait.)

We all know Megamind is an awesome protagonist--multi-layered, relatable, and surprisingly complex-- but, truthfully, his antagonist is just as interesting.  In fact, when compared with other animated villains of the early 2000′s, he’s by far the most memorable... and the most terrifying.

Many may question my assessment.  I mean, let’s be honest: this guy doesn’t exactly look like the face of evil.  But make no mistake: Hal, who later becomes Titan, is an extremely scary person.

I don’t want to leave readers with the impression that this character is one-sided, however, so before we get started on just what makes this fellow complete nightmare fuel, let’s look briefly at a few of the other reasons that Hal makes a fascinating Bad Guy.

One of my favorite things about Hal’s character arch is that it defies expectations.  Superhero comics have a long tradition of Average Nobodies who somehow receive extraordinary powers and go on to save the city.  Or the world.  Or the universe.  You get the idea.  Many comic book fans, upon watching Megamind for the first time, probably expected Hal to do the same, but he doesn’t.  In fact, he goes rogue, choosing to use his newly-obtained gifts for wanton destruction.  Thus the film inverts the established trope.

Like the protagonist he faces, (and is thankfully conquered by,) Hal is complex, and his true nature reveals itself slowly.  I’ve heard some people say that they actually felt a bit sorry for him in the first scene he appears, as he awkwardly tries to express his feelings to reporter Roxanne Ritchi.  At first he seemed like nothing worse than a socially inept and sexually frustrated nerd.  Only as the move progressed, and the aforementioned viewers saw his creepiness more clearly, did they begin to revile him.  One of the many clever things about the movie is that the gradual development provides audiences with the experience of slowly getting to know the characters.  While Megamind is the somewhat anarchical Goth who worries you a little at first, but whose heart of gold has you loving him once you really understand him, Hal is that guy you really, really regret talking to at a party.  You know, the one who quickly starts sending your internal Creep-o-Meter off the scale and persistently follows you around for the rest of the night.  This is, indeed, part of what makes Hal disturbing; just like real villains, he hides in plain sight, wearing the guise of an ordinary fellow.

Which brings us back to the scary part.  Even before he gets superpowers, Hal is bad guy deep down.  He’s a creep and a stalker.  He harasses Roxanne at work and keeps pestering her for a date no matter how many times she says no.  Either consciously or unconsciously, he assumes that she’s shallow, and that once he has a muscular body and a bevy of godlike abilities, she’ll fawn on him.  The idea that he himself might be the problem never seems to occur to him.  In fact, he seems to feel that she will then owe him her affection.  This is because, even before becoming Titan, Hal appears to have an overblown sense of self-importance and an unrealistic concept about what he deserves.  (I go into detail about that in an earlier post, Megamind and Identity, which you can read here.)  The fact that he doesn’t get what he feels is his right seems to have created a deep-seeded bitterness in him that rises to the surface once he obtains power.

But Hal really is the problem.  His combined possessive harassment and complete lack of empathy are exactly why Roxanne neither likes nor trusts him.  And she’s right to feel that way.  Almost immediately after gaining his powers, now feeling that he is above society’s rules, Titan begins revealing just how terrible of a person he really is.  He uses his supervision to spy on Roxanne while he and Megamind (disguised as Space Dad) are in the park, and that must not be the only incident because he later tells Roxanne: “I know everything about you.”  This is just before he grabs her off of her balcony, without her consent, and begins throwing her around like a rag doll, terrifying her and putting her life in real danger because, apparently, he thinks she’ll be impressed.

Yeah.  This guy is pretty much human garbage.

Once he finally understands (more or less) that Roxanne really means it when she says she’s not interested, Hal/Titan reveals himself to be a man-child.  He  begins by using his abilities for selfish and criminal reasons, essentially stating that he doesn’t feel heroism is worth his time.  When he learns that Megamind has been dating Roxanne, (albeit in disguise,) he reacts with violence.  This is because Megamind, like Hal himself, is an outsider: unpopular, unwelcome, and considered unattractive by most of the population of Metro City.  In Hal’s mind, this revelation highlights the fact that none of these factors were the cause of Roxanne’s rejection, leaving only he himself to blame.  (In fact, the movie contrasts Megamind, who, although imperfect, respects Roxanne’s wishes and intelligence, with Hal, who basically views her as an object to be won.  Again, you can read more about that in Megamind and Identity.) Hal can’t handle that.  He can’t accept it.  So instead he turns his rage on the city as a whole.  (This is despite the fact that, deep down, Hal knows he is the problem, hence why he rejects his identity as Hal and fully embraces the new one as Titan.  That’s illustrated by his final line before abandoning Roxanne on Metro Tower: “It’s Titan, not Hal!”)

Hal abuses his power, and society suffers as a result.  Even then, however, Hal/Titan still tries to lay claim to Roxanne.  He accuses Megamind of “stealing his girlfriend,” and later tells Roxanne: “Let me guess, after seeing how awesome I am, you’ve come to your senses.”  All the way to the end, Hal still can’t quite seem to accept that reality is not following his design.

If the idea of a man who lets power go to his head, objectifies women, won’t take “no” for an answer, and reacts violently when denied what he feels he’s owed sounds familiar, that’s because it is.  Humanity has a huge problem with these sorts of behaviors, ranging from sexism and sexual predation to unfeeling abuses of power.  The Sarah Everard case in London, and the fact that several officials essentially blamed the victim, asking why Sarah was walking home alone rather than asking why some guy felt he had the right to attack her, is the most recent well-known testament to this, but it’s sadly far from the only one.  A.J. White said it best in his YouTube video, The Terror of the Incel Superman, when he expressed that news archives are full of stories about women being murdered by the sort of overgrown boys who can’t accept their refusals.  And although men of that sort do not have the ability to fly or shoot lasers out of their eyes, some of them do rise to social and political power.  They are Hals. 

That is exactly what makes this character so especially scary.  Unlike more farcical supervillains, he is based upon something that truly exists.  Preternatural abilities aside, Hal is terrifying because he is very real.  Let’s just hope our world will see more Megaminds willing to stand up to them. #BeMegamindNotHal

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Optigami

For the first time this season, we're actually acknowledging what happened at the end of the last season. Of course, it's the thirteenth episode chronologically, so you can tell the writers really wanted to strike while the iron was hot.

Let's get into the ninth (chronologically the thirteenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Optigami.

We start off with Nathalie recounting the events of “Miracle Queen” to Gabriel, where Chloe exposed the identities of the temp heroes, which is kind of odd considering they were both there. Then again, it's entirely possible Gabriel forgot what happened given we're literally halfway through the season chronologically. According to Nathalie, she created a Sentimonster the very next day to spy on the heroes. After a lot of surveillance by the Sentimonster, named Optigami, all Nathalie and Gabriel really found out was that the heroes were just regular teenagers who occasionally got a Miraculous from Ladybug without even learning her identity, all while we learn she continued to give Miraculous out to the heroes despite the risk to their safety.

Okay, a few questions here. First, why the hell didn't Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth or Mayura try something like this from the beginning? It took you two lucking out in finding out the identities of seven heroes to think about spying on your enemies? Second, Mayura created Optigami the next day? Wasn't she in a lot of pain as a result of using the Peacock for a whole season? At least when she created a Sentimonster in the New York special, it was set a vague amount of time after “Miracle Queen”. Third, Ladybug is seriously recruiting the same heroes again after the rules that she imposed onto Chloe? You know, the person who couldn't use the Bee Miraculous again because of the risk to her safety, and ultimately betrayed Ladybug because she hated the rule? Seriously, the video footage shows Ladybug recruiting Ryuko, someone whose identity Shadowmoth already knew before “Miracle Queen”, so this makes even less sense. If Chloe doesn't get her Miraculous after exposing her identity to the whole world, the same should apply to the other heroes too. If they wanted to make Chloe an exception, all they had to do was have Ladybug bench Queen Bee because she didn't trust Chloe in her civilian life. This just makes Ladybug come off as a hypocrite who serves to justify Astruc's warped mentality that Chloe doesn't deserve a Miraculous even though she lost hers for the same reason as the others.

Nathalie calls Optigami a failure, but Gabriel actually uses his brain for once and comes up with a plan to take out all of the temp heroes at once by putting them in a situation where Ladybug is forced to recruit one of them in order to stop an Akuma. He calls Audrey Bourgeois, a major fashion magazine writer and praises her idea to give a monthly award to a fashion icon, and Gabriel says “there's no better introduction than giving it to his son”, so I'm not sure if he told Audrey to give the award to Adrien, or if he already got the award and Gabriel was just capitalizing on the chance.

So we cut to Marinette and Alya hanging out in the former's room, and surprise, surprise, Marinette is gushing over Adrien. It isn't a love story if there's a single scene not talking about the love interest according to Astruc.

Yeah, despite not being on the list of targets, Marinette got a ticket to the award show because the writers weren't sure how else they could work her into the plot. The Kwamis ask if they can come along, forgetting about the fact that they need to be a secret or be with an owner (guessing Marinette learned her lesson after “Furious Fu”). I'm starting to think I was a little too harsh on Master Fu considering he managed to put up with these godlike idiots for 176 years.

Alya and Trixx, the Fox Kwami, bring up a decent point that now that Alya knows she's Ladybug, she can take a more active role in helping her as Rena Rouge if she had the Fox Miraculous full-time, while Marinette points out the fact that it's too risky for anyone but her to hand out Miraculous. This is brief, but I like this little disagreement here. While I think Marinette could have brought up the fact that Shadowmoth knows Alya's identity in her argument, both sides still make a good point, and this will come into play later on, for better or for worse.

So Marinette and Alya head out to the award party where they meet up with Adrien, Kagami, Luka, Kim, Max, and Nino, with Alya doing a secret handshake with him that I'm sure won't be important later on. We also get a hilarious scene of Alya once again trying to force Marinette into an elevator with Adrien with the explicit intent to have her get closet to Adrien, while she unsurprisingly freaks out, leading to some brief Unfunny Marinette Slapstick.

So much for Marinette growing after the second umbrella scene.

Optigami is set up, and Shadowmoth creates a Sentimonster of the man hosting the award ceremony, and takes the opportunity to do what we've all wanted to do since Audrey's first appearance in late 2018.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank you, Gabriel Agreste. You're the real MVP of this episode.

So Shadowmoth sends out an Akuma to akumatize Audrey into his “magnum opus”, Style Queen, once again (Audrey is also implied to be willingly akumatized like Chloe in “Queen Banana”). And since the titular Sentimonster plays a big role in Shadowmoth's plan this episode, I think now's a good time to talk about Optigami.

Optigami has a simple design, a butterfly colored like Mayura, but I like the role it plays. It has the power to hide in any solid object and observe the environment like a camera Nathalie watches, all while Style Queen chases after the temp heroes and turns them into piles of gold dust. Whether that's because she's been powered up by Shadowmoth or because the animators can't afford to create new models of the characters as gold statues isn't clear. It still really shows the writers are taking advantage of the concept of Sentimonsters as support for Akumas outside of more muscle.

So Kagami tries to distract Style Queen while Adrien runs, and she is the first to be taken out. Chloe then tells Style Queen where Ladybug went, but she gets targeted because she laughed at her mother earlier, and then tries to use Zoe as a human shield before getting blasted. Oh, thank God. I thought Chloe was going to appear in an episode where the writers didn't remind the audience how much of a terrible person she is and anyone who supports her is just as bad.

Marinette and Adrien both run off to transform, but get into the same elevator together, which then gets broken thanks to Style Queen's interference. This leads to an interesting setup where neither of them can transform and hope their partner will save them, leading to some real tension. There's also thankfully little to no stammering from Marinette in these scenes. It's almost like the writers only have her struggle to talk with Adrien so they don't actually have to write scenes like this. Alya briefly teases Marinette for saying she's stuck in an elevator with Adrien before realizing she's trapped in an elevator with a civilian and can't transform.

After Max and Luka get taken out, Marinette calls a phone she set up near the Miracle Ball to call the Kwamis, pretending to talk to the fire department and secretly tells them to send Kaalki to help her, but Adrien sees Optigami spying on them in the elevator, so Marinette is forced to hang up. Marinette and Adrien are about to transform and reveal themselves to each other, but because neither of them are on the list and because Shadowmoth felt like actually being a decent father today, Optigami retreats with Style Queen, who then takes out Kim, leaving only Alya and Nino left.

Marinette tells Alya to call the Kwamis, but while she does so, she gets a call from Nino, who is soon taken out by Style Queen and... is replaced... by an... evil... doppelganger... The eighth one in four seasons...

The only question I have is how did Shadowmoth create two Sentimonsters in the same day? Did he recharge offscreen? Either way, he sends “Sentinino” after Alya to lure her out, but Kaalki arrives and portals her to Marinette's room, leading to the funniest joke of the episode.

Alya takes the Fox Miraculous and transforms into Rena Rouge and creates an illusion of Ladybug to distract Style Queen while she meets up with Marinette with the Bee Miraculous, but she decides to take the Turtle Miraculous even though Marinette didn't tell her to just to be safe.

Rena Rouge meets up with Sentinino and gives him the Turtle, alerting Shadowmoth to the fact that Alya may have a bigger role than he anticipated. Sentinino transforms into Carapace (or would a more accurate term be Sentipace?) while Optigami hides in the Turtle Miraculous, leading to another interesting conflict. If Style Queen gets Ladybug's Miraculous, Shadowmoth wins, but even if Ladybug wins, Sentipace can swoop in and steal Ladybug's Miraculous when her guard is down. This is David Xanatos levels of planning here.

Rena Rouge escorts Adrien out of the elevator via one of Kaalki's portals, and Marinette transforms into Ladybug before unifying with the Bee Miraculous into Ladybee.

Ignoring the creepy look on her face, I think Ladybee has a pretty good design. I think the black and gold go well with her suit, and the ponytail with the gold streaks is a nice touch. I'm not sure if it's referencing Queen Bee's design, but I like it, as well as the slight antennae on her head. I still prefer Dragonbug's design, but I can see why so many fans love this one too.

Ladybee is surprised Sentipace is there, but accepts his help anyway. Ladybee summons her Lucky Charm, a compact mirror, but when looking around, she doesn't see how to use the Lucky Charm with Sentipace as he isn't highlighted in her vision like certain objects/heroes that play a part in stopping an Akuma. Ladybee uses Venom, and with Sentipace's Shelter, manages to tank Style Queen's blasts and stun her before de-evilizing her.

Cat Noir tries to cataclysm the golden shield Style Queen placed around the building, but shows up too late, being surprised at the presence of Rena Rouge and Sentipace. He jokes about it, but this will somewhat come into play in future episodes.

Ladybug prepares to throw the compact mirror to use Miraculous Ladybug and fix the damage, but through the mirror, sees Nino fail to do the secret handshake with Alya. Ladybug pulls a John McClane and swings off the top of the building and tells Cat Noir to use his Cataclysm to destroy the Turtle Miraculous, releasing Optigami, and giving Nathalie a major headache. Shadowmoth undoes the creations of Optigami and Sentinino and retreats.

Alya is naturally upset that she screwed up and almost let Shadowmoth find out Ladybug's identity, but then, well...

Like with “Gang of Secrets”, I'm very mixed on this ending. Both Alya and Marinette make good points here. Alya knows she almost let Shadowmoth win, but Marinette points out how invaluable Alya was today and realizes how helpless she was doing a lot of things on her own. Even if Alya didn't give the Turtle Miraculous to Sentinino, Marinette still had to face the possibility of revealing herself to Adrien. Like it or not, she needs someone to help her more, and Alya is the only one able to fill that position.

The problem I have is that because of how Marinette phrases that sentence, it comes off like Alya is being rewarded for what happened this episode. I get she helped, but I just find it weird that Marinette doesn't feel a little uncomfortable trusting Alya more after going behind her back and almost screwing up the entire mission in the process. I think the scene could have worked if Marinette was a little more stern towards Alya and realized she had no choice but to give her the Fox, creating a little tension between the two as a result.

So the episode ends with a post-credits scene where Gabriel and Nathalie realize they need to focus more attention onto Alya due to her connection to Ladybug.

But yeah, this was honestly a really good episode. It's become my favorite this season.

The plot has a fair amount of suspense and tension, most of it derived from the very clever plan Shadowmoth has this time, taking full advantage of the repaired Peacock in order to make what was already a very powerful Akuma even more of a threat. There were jokes, but unlike in other episodes that focus on humiliating Marinette or interrupting the tension, they're well-placed. The same goes for the elevator scene. The writers easily could have made Marinette stammer all of her words around Adrien, but for once, they realized that they needed to have her actually interact with him in order to maintain the tension of the episode.

Granted, there are still some flaws, like Marinette really had no reason to be invited to the award ceremony. All they really had to do was have Adrien invite her himself, which would justify her eager reaction at the beginning. It's also strange that nobody brings up the fact that all of Adrien's friends who were invited were temp heroes. I've already gone over the problem with timeline at the beginning as well as the ending and I plan to talk about Rena Rouge's partnership with Ladybug next time.

Overall, this was still a really good episode. Even the evil doppelganger plotline had an interesting twist to it. What's the next episode about again? What? Another evil doppelganger of Nino?

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 10

Y/n and Will connect over a story. They put their heads together and come up with some ideas on where to find Chase.

Trigger warnings: sex trafficking, discussions of toxic relationships, codependency

This chaper also contains spoilers for the story Borrasca by CK Walker so if you haven't already read/listened to it and you want to, save this chapter for later.

Charissa was far deeper into astrology than anyone else you knew. No matter how many times she tried to explain it to you, you could never keep all the vocabulary straight. As much as you liked to indulge her pseudo-spiritual special interest, you never considered yourself a believer. 

That was, until you met Will Graham. 

One metaphysical concept was suddenly crystal clear to you; that of the twin flames. At first, you thought it was just a slightly dressier version of soulmates. But soulmates had to be complimentary, not identical. If you jumbled the pieces of your respective broken souls, you’d find that they fit together in a way in which you couldn’t determine where he ended and you began. 

Charissa had warned you of the dangers of a twin flame romance. Both parties had to be mentally and emotionally literate, or else they could develop a toxic codependent relationship. Considering that neither you nor Will were the picture of mental health, you had to tread lightly. Having sex with him was probably just throwing gasoline on the dumpster fire your life was quickly becoming, but an extinguisher was within arm’s reach. You told yourself that if you just held on a little longer, this could be the start of something wonderful. 

However, while pondering all this, you left out the crucial detail that you and Will’s shared self-destructive tendencies didn’t extend to how you treated other people. You were both very nurturing and consistently placed the needs of others over your own. And this dawned on you when you emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and greeted with the smell of food. 

“Is that my shirt?” Will asked, peering over his glasses at you.

“Oh, yeah.” You tugged at the oversized undershirt he’d slept in the evening prior, which you had snatched from the floor while he was in the shower. “I figured that the dogs would be less intimidated with a stranger in the house if I smelled like you.” 

Will narrowed his eyes, his suspicion eclipsed by a smile. “Sure.” 

You sniffed the air. “What are you making?”

“Reubens.” He lifted the pan slightly to show you two ugly but delicious-smelling sandwiches. 

“At eight in the morning?” You laughed, shoving your hands into your pockets. 

“Do you not want one?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh, I want one.” You put your hands up in surrender. 

Will flipped a sandwich over and it sizzled against the hot pan. “By the way, Jack called. He wants to see both of us at the lab today, given that you’re up for it.” 

“Sure.” You leaned over the counter. “What about?” 

“He wants me to examine the body of the cultist.” He explained. “Thinks maybe you can help. He also wants you to give an official statement. Apparently the national news is starting to pick up on this story.” 

“I won’t have to appear on TV or anything, will I?” You asked. “That would kind of defeat the purpose of me hiding out here.” 

Will slid one of the sandwiches onto a plate. “I don’t think so. He just wants you to tell the record what you know so local police forces know what to look for and so CNN has something to report on.” 

“That’s fair enough, I suppose.” You took a seat at the counter, your mouth watering from the smell. 

“So you know how Kimber and Kyle are siblings?” Will said, placing his plate next to yours. 

You froze and put your sandwich back on the plate. “I know that, how do you know that?” 

Will paused and looked away, shamefully. "I couldn't sleep last night."

"So you listened to the entire story?" Your eyes widened in shock. "The entire, seven-hour-long story?"

"I wanted to know why," Will pulled his chair closer to the counter. "Out of all the literature in the world, last night made you think of Borrasca. So I listened to it."

You took a bite of your sandwich and wiped your face with the back of your hand. "I think it was just because it has to do with sex trafficking."

"But it wasn't sex trafficking until Sheriff Walker took over, was it?" Will said. "Or at least, not according to Jimmy Prescott."

"Shit, you did listen to the whole story." You said through a mouthful of sandwich. You swallowed.

"I think there's something else there." Will hypothesized. "There's something we can take from the story that could lead us to Mulvaney, just like with NXIVM and Handmaid's Tale."

“Okay, but,” You began. “She pretty explicitly referenced both NXIVM and Handmaid’s Tale. I brought up Borrasca on my own.” 

“But you did it for a reason.” Will insisted. “Just humor me, please.” 

You shrugged. “You’re the professional here. By all means, follow whatever path this story takes you down if you think it’s going to get Mulvaney behind bars.” 

Will nodded and reached for a pad of paper. He drew a three circle Venn diagram and assigned a story to each circle. “What do NXIVM, Handmaid’s Tale and Borrasca all have in common?” 

“Sex trafficking.” You said bluntly. 

“Well, yes-” Will shook his head. “But, broader. Think about the how and why.” 

“Uh,” You racked your brain for the how and why. “Dehumanizing women? Turning them into property?” 

“Right.” Will scribbled something that vaguely resembled what you said in the intersection of the three circles.

“They all have a sort of charismatic figurehead.” You continued. “Keith Raniere, Fred Waterford, Jimmy Prescott.” 

“And each of those men had their respective degrees of power and influence.” Will added.

“But Borrasca was relatively self-contained.” You countered. “Drisking was a small little nowhere town. It was out of the way so the corrupt local police and rich families could hide the town’s fucked up secret from the rest of the world.” 

“You’re on to something.” Will said, tapping his pen against the table. “Chase Mulvaney isn’t a Keith Raniere, but he wants to be. He’s Jimmy Prescott.” 

“You think this is a family operation?” You narrowed your eyes. 

“I think he’s operating this cult using family money.” Will began to click the pen rapidly as he processed his thoughts. “And family land.”

“So we're looking for some kind of reform camp." You concluded. "Probably one that targets young women and girls."

"Something religious, too." Will added. "But not like, a convent. He's preaching faith-based salvation so he's definitely not Catholic."

"Definitely either Southern Baptist or Evangelical." You agreed. "Or maybe some sort of strange non-denominational offshoot."

"Like those people who don't like the word religion but advocate for a christian theocracy in the US." Will muttered.

"Yeehawdists." You said under your breath.

Will cracked a small but noticeable smile at your stupid pun.

"I think we might be on to something here." Will said, an optimistic upturn in his voice. He stood up from his seat and shoved the paper in his pocket.

He grabbed your hand. "Come on. If we get to Quantico soon, I'll bet we can nail this guy tonight."