#also those taxidermy projects

[elektroyu]

I so much feel the need to work on so many different projects and XD can my brain please focus on one for a while. Stop pulling me in all directions at once lol

[chaifootsteps]

Armchair Psychology Anon here again (not a real psych just notice patterns)

People may start to come to the conclusion that Viv has "mommy issues" (4Chan and Viv criticals certainly have), and obviously that there are problems with the way women are written in HB.

Everyone is quick to defend Viv, that "Charlie is the main character, and has a girlfriend!!"

Charlie is allowed to be the main character because of the relationship she has with her dad.

It's also theorized that Vaggie will die...

Also... naming your characters after female genitals isn't exactly flattering.

Labienne

Puscilla

Vaggie

Lute (slang for dickrider)

Honorable Judge Gina (I know Brandon came up with that, but Viv still found it hilarious apparently)

Nurse Pussyface

Where are the male names? We don't really have anybody named after male genitals?

I'm starting to notice that bigger female characters only get development when they directly are in contact with male ones on screen.

Charlie and Alastor will be a big one, as apparently he's a father figure sent to protect her by her real mother.

Charlie and Lucifer, which apparently will be decently healthy even if it's rocky. Gotta explore those loving father/daughter relationships more.

Rosie/Lilith and Alastor is also interesting because Viv is trying to build Rosie up as this great character everyone in Hell seems to know and love, but guess what? She's Alastor's friend.

Charlie and Angel may have an interesting dynamic as well. But I'm sure Angel will actually get more development on his own that don't relate to other characters.

Cherri and Angel is interesting, because people will point to their relationship saying that Cherri is a good friend to Angel. But what's her development beyond that? Does she only exist to prop Angel up? Maybe not, since Addict hinted at a mysterious (ironically male) figure from her past.

I have a feeling Niffty will also be treated as a silly joke and won't be taken seriously either. But hey, she's also Alastor's friend! So that gives her some value, right?

Then obviously we have Moxxie and Millie, (we all know the issues there) and the other characters from HB.

Loona doesn't get much of her own development outside of Blitz. Hell, her backstory is only shown through HIS memories. Anyone catch that?

Via also has one interesting character trait that is outside of her father. (Her interest in the stars doesn't count since that directly relates to her father and his job). Her love of weird taxidermy. You know else loves weird taxidermy?

But then look at the GF leak. She gets more development because it directly relates to Blitz and her dad. And I believe she has every right to be furious.

So the gist of what I'm saying, is that unless the female character is given interests that Viv likes, has a rocky but loving relationship with her father, is a wild party girl, or is used to prop up a male character, they will be treated like garbage or not cared about.

The female characters in her shows only have value when it comes to their relationships with men or that Viv can project herself onto.

I know we've all said it before, and we'll all say it again, but please, for the love of god, Viv...get real therapy for this.

[reikarimaaa]

I’m bored and it’s 00:09 at my place rn so here’s some personal Gorillaz headcanons of mine. (and no there’s no specific order so enjoy ig)

// tw: nsfw, long long hcs, I’ll try to shorten these i swear that was a lie , ooc a bunch , oh and RussDoc //

// General Band hcs //

When Noodle was about 10, she’d always sneak into Russel’s (or 2-D’s) room to cuddle up with him whenever it was raining at night or if she had a nightmare.

2-D has the worst eyesight out of the four, even worse than Russel’s for some reason.

Noodle’s hair during Phase 1 (that weird buzzcut) is because of Murdoc’s antics; Russel told him to cut her hair as it was getting too long, and… it came out funky.

Noodle’s iconic helmet is gifted from Murdoc after he failed to cut the girl’s hair correctly. A walkman was also gifted with the helmet.

During the recording of TNN, 2-D just kept writing songs that always tied back to Murdoc; he tried to change said lyrics, but it just wouldn’t work, so he went with it (not that he minds much, anyways).

Noodle and Ace were childhood friends. First becoming friends after about a few months of living in Kong Studios up until the El Mañana incident, which caused them to cut contact for a long while until Phase 5, where they reconciled.

Russel and Murdoc had known each other for a long time before Gorillaz had even been formed, and they’ve been dating on and off during those moments before Gorillaz. Now with the formation of the band, they’re closer than ever.

Russel has given Murdoc a taxidermy of a crow in remembrance of Cortez, though it’s never been the same for the bassist.

2-D had played dress-up all the time during Phase 1 with Noodle; playing princess, having tea parties, even sleepovers!

When Noodle had her first period, Murdoc was confused as hell (and was briefly disgusted), 2-D was more curious as to why and how, and Russel just became the dad, buying her chocolate, bringing hot water bottles to relieve any pain, and he even buys her tampons and pads if she ran out (true dad indeed). Applies to every phase basically.

Del likes to play with Noodle whenever Russel lets him. It’s quite the sight, a little Noodle being taught how to gamble by one of the funkyphantoms living inside Russel’s body.

// Band members x S/O //

When you asked 2-D for help with doing the laundry, he accidentally poured in crack instead of detergent in the washing machine. Your clothes that were unlucky enough to be washed in that washing machine 2-D used reeked of drugs for a long while, and 2-D apologized profusely and even bought you new ones to replace the old ones.

2-D definitely likes it best when you walk together in a park holding/ linking hands; he feels that there’s a bond forming (and he won’t bump everywhere as he can’t see well at all).

2-D asked you out to the local chippy during your first date with him, and he tried his best to impress you, all calm and prepared and all. It’s just that special 2-D charm that always gets you.

Murdoc, who successfully coaxed you into entering his Winnebago with him, realized that it was all messy and definitely made your skin crawl. He tries to quickly clean it up, but it fails. At least he gave you a big, fat barrage of apologies and hugs for the mess.

Murdoc definitely does not do/ enjoy PDA very much, but whenever there’s S/O’s ex/ enemy nearby, he’d get all close and cuddly to you all of a sudden. You like it when he’s like this.

Murdoc would definitely take you to a fancy-enough pub for your first date with him; he even took a shower and he wasn’t too rude to everyone involved, and it was all just to impress you! If that isn’t dedicated, you didn’t know what was.

Russel… he accidentally spilled some animal blood on you when he was doing one his taxidermy projects. You said it was only a small splatter, but he offered to clean it squeaky clean, even if it isn’t very noticeable at best.

Russel likes long, cold walks during winter with you. He always says that the snowflakes falling are like you dancing and falling from above.

Russel during the first date would take you out for a picnic in the park, or perhaps a midnight stargazing experience with him. He’s more of a person who’s enjoy doing these little things with you, and it warms your heart. It does, really.

Noodle would collect little things like seashells or little scraps of things to make you a pretty bracelet/ ring/ necklace out of. Noodle broke one of these that she gave you earlier in the day/ month/ year on accident, and she treated you like a queen for the rest of the day, even if you try to convince her that it’s no big deal.

Noodle likes to go out and adventure with you into the woods, a creek, places like that and such in search of memories and little bits and bobs.

Noodle took you out to out to dinner at her place, as she thinks that this’ll impress you, and it did; her room was tidy, the food was amazing, and Noodle was just all around perfect. You couldn’t take your eyes off her, not even for a minute.

// Nsfw shit below //

Whenever Murdoc just wouldn’t shut up at times when Russel was too tired to have sex in bed, he would just let his cock sit in the bassist’s mouth; a semi-replacement for sex when the drummer’s too tired to do so.

2-D masturbates quite often, and whenever he comes, it’s always a fuckfest; his nice, clean sheets have these stains, and they’re permanent stains, mind you.

**Applies to phase 5 Noodle and above** Noodle enjoys self-care, and has quite the array of dildos at her fingertips. Usually uses them to relieve period cramps; she’s read somewhere that sex can, and it does the job well, for cramp relief or simple pleasure.

Russel absolutely dominates Murdoc in bed, but sometimes the roles are reversed. Murdoc and Russel definitely likes it when they degrade and fill each other up. (Breedy breedy degradation kink who???)

yeah there’s not much down here, but I’ll definitely try.

— hearts, Harami

[taxidermycanine]

WELCOME TO MY KIN-BLOG . MEET ME BELOW

my name is jackal, i am 19 and a wolf therian. i go by it/its prns (though he/him and rot/rots work well too) and have various mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, DID and BPD. please be patient with me as i experience severe amnesia due to this.

i post about various things, but mainly stick to my experiences as a therian (and therian shitposting). and as my username suggests, i am very interested in taxidermy, which means you will likely find quite a lot of the sorts in my blog :0}

LIST OF TAGS I USE — ALWAYS ADDING MORE

confessions of the dog —➤ personal posts, relatable therian stuff, overall experiences. mainly used by jackal

fox yips —➤ fox therian stuff, personal posts. mainly used by fox

taxidermy —➤ used to warn others that there will be taxidermy related content in a post (such as images, descriptions or future projects)

corpse tw —➤ to warn people that there is an image of an animal corpse in my post (such as this one). I WILL NEVER POST HUMAN CORPSES

jackal.txt —➤ for when jackal (the alter) answers an ask :0}

fox.txt —➤ for when fox (the alter) answers a question :>

IMPORTANT THINGS TO NOTE

i block freely and often forget to follow others back when i mean to do so

i do not go into detail about my mental illnesses, though sometimes a few of my alters will post on this account too as we are — for the most part — all collectively therians

whilst i am open to making friends on here please know that i am very socially awkward and will also forget to respond to your messages at time if you do not continue to do so. i am trying my best to get better at this

i view myself as physically nonhuman and am trying to distance myself from the p-shifting community for my own safety

sometimes i forget where i get images from, please let me know if i accidentally post someone elses image without credit. i don't mean to and it's always accidental, not out of malicious intent

DNI / BOUNDARIES

as i am an adult i would prefer if those under 15 did not follow me

please use common sense before following my account. i am a therian blog, if you post about real human gore then i obviously don't want you following me

i block and unfollow freely. if you are blocked it's likely that you didn't do anything wrong, please do not take it personally

i do not want anyone flirting with me. i am married and this makes both me and my mate uncomfortable

[lulu2992]

Uncovering the unreleased Far Cry 5 in-game Encyclopedia

The almost complete but unused in-game encyclopedia, reconstructed thanks to the oasisstrings file.

Please note that it’s still cut content, so some information might not be relevant anymore.

You can read the oasisstrings file here. Pictures from this encyclopedia were also extracted and posted by @xbaebsae here.

Part 4: Locations - Henbane River

Tanami Residence

Some idiot drove a dredge into Roy Tanami's property, damaging his bunker beyond repair. Out of options, Tanami swallowed his pride and joined the Whitetail Militia up north.

Vasquez Residence

Home of Mr. Vasquez, former employee of Nolan's Fly Shop.

Hollyhock Saloon

One of the first businesses to fall to Eden’s Gate when they banned alcohol in the county. No one knows if the owners moved or were taken.

Can of Worms Fishing Store

Rods and tackle a-plenty. Owned by Sherri Woodhouse, who does salvage runs for sunken treasure in her spare time.

Deep North Water Treatment Plant

Built in 2002 to treat the toxic water from decades of mining practices. Today, Eden’s Gate uses it to disperse Bliss into the water.

Misty River Gas

A local gas station by the water, owned by Mr. McDevitt.

McCoy Cabin

Home of Darby McCoy who joined the cult against his will. This cabin is both close to the water and the Misty River Gas, an ideal spot for the cult to run operations.

Peaches Taxidermy

Mable's a rough-edged taxidermist. She lives here with her pet cougar.

Barlow Residence

Residence of Dr. Phil Barlow. He was a pharmacist who joined Eden’s Gate.

McClean Residence

Residence of Travis McClean. He was a former Air Force veteran turned prepper. Like so many others, he and his husband are on the run from Eden's Gate.

Eden’s Gate Outreach Center

This was once a place to learn more about Eden’s Gate and the Father’s message. Nothing out of the ordinary, until it became what it is today.

The Pillars of Eden

An outdoor amphitheater and a place of worship for Eden's Gate.

Drubman Marina

The Drubman Marina began in 1992 as an oil sands prospecting venture. Hurk Drubman Sr. became rich, but ost the property in a divorce to his wife Adelaide. She has big dreams for the place.

Silver Lake Campgrounds

A place to camp with a nice view of the mountains, the water, and the Whitetail Mountain Rail Bridge.

Silver Lake Summer Camp

An old summer camp. It was forced out of business by Eden’s Gate about 8 years ago. The cult used this place to stockpile their goods while their bunkers were being built.

Howling Cave

A well-known wolf habitat. The cult frequently takes animals from here and sends them north to Jacob.

Taft Lookout Tower

An old firewatch tower built in 1945. The cult uses it as a checkpoint and surveillance location. As expected, it is heavily guarded at all times.

Raptor Peak

A mountain peak that's a favorite nesting spot for birds of prey.

Camp Cougars

The Resistance has set up a camp to use as a base of operations for attacks against the cult and rescue missions for those on the pilgrimage path.

Dire Wolf Basin

A smoking basin that Eden's Gate has claimed as their own. Also a place of worship for the cult.

Sabre-Tooth Springs

These hot springs and the nearby cave used to be a tourist destination. It's right next to a road, meaning this location spent little in advertising. Today, it only attracts the cult.

Eden’s Convent

The very first building set up by the Project at Eden’s Gate in Hope County. People came here for spiritual retreats and to learn the Word of Joseph. When they left, if they did, it was with a permanent smile on their faces.

Sacred Skies Youth Camp

Formerly a Christian youth camp that was shut down fifteen years ago when the population dwindled. Eden’s Gate quietly bought it ten years ago. They use the land for growing Bliss flowers while living on-site.

Joseph’s Word

A statue of Joseph Seed that was constructed almost overnight. It commemorates the Father bringing his Word to the world. It also houses a rare, one-of-a-kind manuscript that is sacred to Eden's Gate.

Purpletop Antenna

Eden's Gate controls the radio towers. There's no signal but Joseph's Word out here.

Dead Man’s Mill

A water mill left over from the gold rush heyday. Everyone in Hope County has a different version of how it got its name, but the most popular story is a man's suicide after the closure of the mines.

Mastodon Geothermal Park

A tourist attraction established in 1836. People used to come here to admire the unique geological landscape. Now Eden's Gate uses it as an execution site.

Chan Residence

Back in the day, the owner of the Sacred Skies Youth Camp lived here. The cabin now belongs to Jasmine Chan, a big game hunter who was recruited into Eden's Gate against her will.

Counselor’s Cabin

This used to be the counselor's cabin when the Sacred Skies Youth Camp was in operation.

Nature Cabin

It once belonged to the Sacred Skies Youth Camp. Kids would come here to learn about animals, or rest after hurting themselves on the nearby zip line.

Throne of Mercy Church

A gold rush era church run by Jerrod Wilson, a preacher and rival of Emmet Reaves in the late 1800s. The church survived until about ten years ago when the cult closed it down.

Administrator’s Cabin

This used to be the administrator's cabin when the Sacred Skies Youth Camp was in operation.

Boshaw Manor

The humble dwelling of Charlemagne Victor Boshaw IV, gentleman fire enthusiast.

King’s Hot Springs Hotel

Once a spot for the posh to "take the waters," a landslide triggered by an earthquake in 1917 closed it temporarily and made it a ghost hunter's gem. It reopened, only to close again in 1994. Eden's Gate has put it to good use.

Moonflower Trailer Park

Once the fanciest trailer park in Montana run by the Boshaws. When the economy dried up and the Boshaws did nothing to retain their tenants, people relocated to the Silver Lake trailer park in the Holland Valley.

Sinclair Residence

Frankie Sinclair dreamed of being a world class French chef. Only problem? He couldn't speak a lick of French. He worked at the King's Hot Springs Hotel until it closed in 1994.

Horned Serpent Cave

A sulfur cave that's part of the volcanically active landscape of the region. It was once an industrial site, but the cult has turned it into a mass grave for Angels who can serve the project no more.

Henbane River Station

Copperhead Rail was created in the late 1800s by Emmet Reaves. It was shut down in the early 70s after the last of the local mining industries dried up. This station has been abandoned ever since.

Grimalkin Radon Mine

Once a part of a radon spa chain, it shut down in the 60s. Guy Marvel fell in love with the aesthetic and figured it’d be the perfect place for his next movie masterpiece.

Lydia’s Cave

In 1912, some loggers saw a girl eating a goat with wolves. She was captured in this cave and brought to a doctor who named her Lydia. She escaped and was last seen deep in the wilds suckling two wolf cubs.

Whistling Beaver Brewery

This brewery and pub opened in the late 1880s. It closed in 1916-1918 for Prohibition and reopened in the 30s. Pushed out of the national market by artisanal beer, the brewery was struggling and quietly sold to Eden's Gate.

The Misery

A dredge that belonged to the Catamount Mining Company. When the mines dried up, they tried to get gold from the riverbeds, but failed and abandoned it. The Resistance tells horror stories about what goes on there now.

Faith’s Gate

A bunker under Faith's guardianship. It is shrouded in Bliss, ensuring that those who are sheltered here will not be frightened when the Collapse comes.

Feeney Residence

Home of Dwight Feeney, a prepper and chemistry aficionado who joined Eden’s Gate when they promised him an important role in the creation of Bliss.

Eden’s Altar

A place of worship for Eden’s Gate. The faithful gather to hear sermons about Joseph’s visions and plans.

Gethsemane Greenhouse

A building used to precisely control the growing conditions of plants. Whatever these plants were before, they are now Bliss flowers.

Lorna’s Truck Stop

Lorna Rawlings used her BINGO winnings to create the best place for hard-working truckers like her husband to refresh and refuel. The cult came to take the place. She said no. She hasn’t been seen since.

Henbane River Chalets

A tourist trap that was shut down by the cult. The lake view was also sought after as a filming location.

Aubrey’s Diner

One of the first places to close when the cult took over. Their grilled cheese was no good.

O’Hara’s Haunted House

A professional clown named Edward O'Hara bought a barn and turned it into a haunted house that was a Halloween tradition in Hope County. Edward himself disappeared, and people disagree on whether or not the cult got him.

Ghost Cat Mine

The old mine has been closed for decades but the headframe warehouse is still there, used by the cult to store their containers of Bliss.

The Last Best Resting Place

An old, overgrown graveyard left from the gold rush era.

Jones Residence

Home of Kanti Jones, a Blackfoot woman and ranger who used to work in Whitetail Park. She was forced into retirement when the park closed. She fought against Eden’s Gate, dying in a shootout in her home.

Nelson Residence

Home of Coyote Nelson. He tried to lay low and enjoy fishing and painting but his peaceful pastimes didn't save him.

8-Bit Pizza Bar

The presence of pizza and an arcade made this the most exciting spot for teens within a hundred miles.

Pepper Residence

Holly Pepper and her girlfriend Charlie were among the first locals to join Eden's Gate. They abandoned this house and were never heard from again. The cult turned the property into a grow op.

Hope County Jail

20 years ago, a riot caused a jail break and a bus full of escaped prisoners ran off the road somewhere in Holland Valley. Later on, the prison closed due to budget cuts. Today, the Cougar resistance takes shelter here.

Nolan’s Fly Shop

Nolan Pettis ran his fly shop and gave fishing tours happily for years, although he was never a famous outdoorsman like local celebrity Skylar Kohrs. The money for his shop dried up and he joined Eden’s Gate.

Johnson Residence

Bob and Penny Johnson struck it rich in cattle futures, then they lost everything. After such a fall from grace, Joseph’s cult seemed welcoming. They handed everything over. No one knows where they are now.

Bright Warden Radon Spa

A health spa shut down in the 60s. Eden’s Gate has been spotted going in and out of this mine, using it as a storage facility.

Prosperity

Founded by rail and lumber baron Emmett Reaves. As the industry dried up, the town died and people moved west to Fall’s End. What remains of the ghost town is now used by junkies and the homeless.

Abercrombie Residence

Home of Melvin Adams Abercrombie. He robbed a bank in the 1940s and got away with it. He used his money to build this property and to prepare for the total collapse of the global financial system.

McCallough’s Garage

Once owned by Steve McCallough. He tried to warn everyone about Eden’s Gate, and even had a getaway car and some supplies ready. One day, his shop got boarded up and Steve was nowhere to be found.

Jessop Conservatory

Dr. Rachel Jessop created this place to protect and research at-risk flora and fauna. After budget cuts gutted her funding, Eden's Gate bought her out and devoted the facilities to developing potent strains of Bliss flowers.

Harrison Lookout Tower

One of the towers built in the 1940s to spot forest fires. It was abandoned ten years ago when funding ran out and the cult bought the property. It overlooks the site of one of Clutch Nixon's legendary stunts.

Seeley’s Cabin

Residence of Dwight Seeley. He worked in the local mines and then got kicked out of his place when the cult took over.

Deer Tiger Mine

Established in 1912, this mine was closed down in the 70s. Eden’s Gate appears to use it for storage.

Puma Mine

Another relic of a bygone gold rush, the Puma Mine has been abandoned for decades.

Ancient Bison Tunnel

A closed-off tunnel. No one gets in. No one gets out.

[submissivekillers]

Norman with an over confident but bad at flirting reader?

(love ur stuff btw)

y/n: has absolutely negative rizz norman: ohhh i can't not fuck them

in all seriousness after considering it.... i kinda feel like this is the ideal pairing for norman?

like, norman is a very pretty man. he probably has been hit on before. but because of The Problems, straightforward flirting - especially if it's sexual in tone - just makes him awkward at best, and completely shut down at worst (until mother bates comes out.) the flirt in turn either ends up unsettled by him or dead (or both)

but when you hit him with the silliest line he's ever heard, the sheer combination of flattery, confusion, and amusement manages to override all of that ingrained fear and shame and he just. laughs?

and MAYBE that be kind of ego crushing, except that he's still pink around the ears and hiding his face in his hands, and even when he sobers up enough to finish checking you in he's got this sweet, almost surprised grin on his face, like he'd forgotten how good laughter felt

so. obviously you're going to have to keep flirting with him, if it means he'll smile at you like that again

crucially, there's never any sense of pressure that accompanies your flirting. in fact, for a long time i think norman would operate under the assumption that you don't mean anything by it - you just seem so pleased whenever you get him giggling and clutching his sides, and you never make a single move to indicate you want anything more, so? clearly you're just a very friendly person who likes making people laugh, and he's nothing special

of course, you are So Very Into Him and screaming internally every time you get tongue-tied and end up spouting out some insane pick-up line instead of just telling him how you feel goddamnit -

but that's also fine, in a way, because from what norman shares with you about his past the last thing you'd ever want to do is make him feel trapped by your affection, and because you still get to see that cute grin. so you learn not to mind

i think norman would really admire your confidence; you seem to move through the world so easily, whereas he has so much weighing him down. he worries sometimes that he's too boring for you, plain and shy and still fighting that voice in his ear that tells him to make you disappear. but when he expresses those thoughts to you - lightly, trying to make a joke but getting a lil too self-deprecating with it - you get so earnest, taking his hands in yours and looking at him with warm, clear eyes

you tell him how happy you are to have met him, how much you admire his dedication to the motel and to becoming a better man, how you love hearing him chatter about his new taxidermy project or the strangers who pass through the hotel, and norman starts to realize that all that terrible flirting did mean something

naturally, the pick-up lines don't stop once the two of you finally make it past the pining stage. if anything, an established relationship just makes you lay it on even thicker - but it also means norman can just kiss you to quiet you down, an arrangement that neither of you have a problem with

MAJOR bonus points if, despite all your bluster, you melt whenever the attention is returned. you catch norman on a good day when he feels bold enough to respond with some teasing of his own, and you respond by turning into a blushing, stuttering mess? oh, he's hooked

local motel owner becomes absolute menace, more news at 6

in conclusion, norman bates will let you hit if you're goofy

[indecentpause]

The Most Beautiful Puzzle: Chapter One

cw: stalking, aftermath of past abuse, covid times, police corruption, drug abuse, crime scenes, graphic violence, description of dead bodies

Meara's life has been one disappointment after another, and he's not expecting his new roommate situation to be anything but, either. But he needs to get out of the city and needs a room, and Josselin seems nice enough and has a bed to spare. But Josselin ends up being more than just a freelance translator, eccentric book hoarder, and taxidermy enthusiast, he's also a consulting detective; the one the police come to when they just can't crack a case. Meara accidentally gets swooped up in one such situation. It's the most excitement and fun he's ever had in his entire life. He's hooked.

Current taglist: @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace @drippingmoon @athenswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @idreamonpaper @winterandwords @thelaughingstag @revenantlore

Please let me know if you want to be tagged in these updates! This is my general list so those tagged here will also still be updated on other projects. If you only want to be on one and not the other, just let me know!

Read chapter one on Wattpad

Or on Ao3!

I'm super psyched to finally be able to share a finished story!! thank you to all you amazing folks who encouraged me and showed interest and asked questions and left comments and reblogs and likes!

[milkycarnations]

Eyyy! Do you think you could do some hcs with Masky, Hoodie, Ej and maybe Toby, where the reader is a Taxidermist? :] I’m a girl with a morbid fascination with dead things, being both a wildlife taxidermist and having studied mortuary sciences/embalming, for funerals as well! Grew up in a hunting family so blood and guts have never bothered me. I collect animals skulls and stuff like that, too, I’d love you forever if you brought me a dead thing, a weird bug, or a strange rock/weird object

Sure thing! This ask was a ton of fun.

The Proxies + Jack with A Taxidermist S/O

Masky

He enjoys your company. You don't get all "squishy" when it comes to death and dead things. Granted, those dead things aren't people, but your tolerance for blood and guts is a bit charming to him.

He's in the woods often so he'll bring you so much goddamn road kill.

And if your morals are just as awful as his, he'll bring you human skulls and bones to mess around with too. They might not be... uh... mint condition.

Hoodie

He's pretty amused, but not a fan of the smells. He'll give you your little play space. Keep your stuff in there and organized and he has no issues.

He definitely appreciates the finished project, especially after seeing how much work you put into it.

He'd love to try insect displaying with you. It's similar to taxidermy, but more of his style.

Will ask you to help him clean up when his own business gets messy.

Jack

You two get along like two peas in a pod. He's all things morbid and eerie and especially dead.

Assuming you like hunting and taxidermy, this cat demon will gift you the finest dead animals. Expertly killed and in really good condition. You aren't sure how he does it, but you're in love.

You also likely have tons of access to mortuary equipment, but that's just the perk of being around Jack. I always imagine him living in a defunct hospital or funeral home anyway, - anything with medical equipment.

Toby

He asks you if it's possible to taxidermy a person and you gladly explain to him why it's not very... easy.

Since he likes you, he likes taxidermy. He insists on being involved.

He asks you to show him how you do it. He enjoys putting the pelts back on, but he especially enjoys the artistic liberty of recreating the gloss on the eyes and the shine on the noses of animals.

He thinks taxidermy is a true display of love. Why wouldn't you want to immortalize your pets this way?

[psychicmisfortune]

hi, i'm psy (or rey) and this is my silly corner of superhell!

about

- he/him transmasc enby!

- silly artist

links n such

- current ask game

- taglist

- cool ii askblog

- abbie's intro / bot's intro / paintbrush's intro

my achievements

- Rob Paulsen, AKA God (Be a TMNT brainrotter.)

- What Are You Doing To Jax (Watch The Amazing Digital Circus Pilot.)

- I Quit Being A Taurus (Finish Homestuck.)

- Those Cookies Are Awful (Watch all of Inanimate Insanity.)

- I Didn't Catch Most Of That (Watch BFDI.)

- Two Favouritist (Start BFDI: The Power Of Two.)

- It's Not A Band It's An Idea, But It's Also Not A Band Anymore (Listen to all My Chemical Romance albums.)

cool folks

- my sibling from another living, @crikkit-kitterton (also check out @voids-call they're very awesome)

- the one that banned me from my kitchen, @defnotnoodle

- my bestie joe taxidermy tax evasion 'merica that stands around like a lemon, @jimmyisprettycool

- a hoe (/aff) that also writes sometimes, @mayberose

- one of my good friends, @clovercentral

sidebops

- my art stuff, @starreyy-art

- my current project, @crashcic

- my tmnt competition, @ultimate-tmnt-showdown

dni

- general (homo/trans/queerphobic, racist, xenophobic, ableist, etc.)

- anti self-dx

- proship/neutral/tcest/etc

[theoddcatlady]

Unnatural Combinations

I think most people are surprised when they learn one of my hobbies is taxidermy.

I know what you probably expect when you hear that- some shady looking Ed Gein kinda guy. I’m gonna clear this up off the bat. Not everyone that practices taxidermy looks like a serial killer, all empty eyes and unsettling grins. I’d like to say I’m pretty normal, as far as your average human being goes. I’m close to my parents, I have a good job, I even have a dog named Hamlet. But I also really do enjoy taxidermy.

I picked up the hobby almost… god, has to be like ten to twelve years now. At the time, I thought the same as probably most of you, that taxidermy was for people like Norman Bates or Leatherface. That changed during a highschool project where I had to shadow someone at their workplace. Since I was sick the day all the popular choices were taken, I got stuck working at McConnell Taxidermy with the stern looking Walter McConnell. Although I originally expected to be either bored or grossed out, it was actually a lot of fun. For the most part Walter and I just kicked back and watched TV and enjoyed his husband Bernard’s home cooking.

For the actual taxidermy though, I actually found it fascinating. It’s not all blood and guts, some of it is real artistry. I had a lot of fun learning about it, seeing what incredible focus Walter had while sewing together a squirrel, and I was surprised to learn which of the fish on the wall were real and which were incredibly accurate recreations. Walter loved animals, he had at least three rescued dogs and I lost count of the amount of cats that weaved between my ankles as we drunk root beers and sat on his front porch.

Anyway, after that week shadowing him, I ended up going back again and again. I admitted I didn’t really have the patience for hunting, which is where most of Walter’s business comes from, but he let me know that if I found a mostly whole, fresh piece of roadkill, he could see what we could do. After a month of searching, I came across a raccoon that was just what Walter said would work. With him teaching me, I mounted my first animal. I still have it, even though I can point out like a half a dozen flaws.

All I’m trying to say it that no, I’m not the next freak that’ll make headlines for skinning the neighbor’s cat… and the neighbor with it. I can, however, say that some of those said freaks do have that wrong idea about us. And one of them was Clarence Warner.

I first met Clarence when he quite literally ran into me I’d gotten some new taxidermy books and I planned on kicking back at the shop while I read them. I was reaching for the door when it suddenly burst open, smacking the books out of my hand and sending them crashing to the ground.

“Oh! Oh, oh no, I’m s-so sorry!”

The man hurriedly exiting the shop was a scrawny looking fellow, below average in height with extra large glasses that magnified his watery eyes with the bags underneath so dark it looked like he hadn’t slept in a month. The rumpled state of his sweater and slacks didn’t help the impression.

Before I could even tell him it was fine the man was on the ground, carefully smoothing the cover of each of my books, even the hardcover ones. “N-none look to be damaged!” With a nervous smile, like he expected me to suddenly clock him in the face, he carefully handed the books back to me. “I’m so s-sorry, do they look okay? Nothing r-ripped or damaged, I hope?”

I gave the books a once over. “You’re fine, they can take a fall. You in a hurry?”

“Yeah, uh, yup,” The man nervously bobbed his head up and down, “The shop owner, he uh…” he chuckled nervously, “he’s a bit frightening. I decided to m-make myself scarce. I’m Clarence. Clarence Warner.” He stuck out a hand that had nails bitten down so far his fingertips were all red and sore. I sort of just looked at my books before Clarence slowly lowered his hand, his ears turning pink along with his cheeks. “Right. It’s a b-bit hard to shake hands when they’re full.”

“Yeah…” I glanced in the shop, “Everything’s cool man, have a good day.” I side stepped around the clearly socially awkward Clarence and managed to get the door open with my foot, eager to end this bizarre confrontation.

“Wait!”

Clarence’s piercing yelp nearly caused me to drop my books again. I turned my head back around and Clarence looked rightfully embarrassed.

“What’s your name?” He asked while staring at his feet, sounding like more like a shy first grader than a grown man.

“… Everyone calls me Bobby,” I bowed my head, “Have a good day, man.”

“Good day for you too!”

Clarence skittered off down the street, beelining for the nearest bus stop. I just shook my head, got the door the rest of the way open, and made my way into the shop. The classic rock station was playing, the room smelled of sandalwood incense thanks to Bernard, and other than me and Walter the place was empty. It seemed normal, but Walter’s usually unbothered, apathetic expression was replaced with an unnatural hostility that I’d rarely seen from him before.

“You okay, Walter?” I asked, setting my books on the counter before taking a seat on the bench.

Walter was quiet for a moment, watching the door like a hawk. “You spoke with the man leaving the shop?” He asked, his gruff voice quieter than usual.

“Just for a second, he accidentally knocked the books out of my hands,” I nodded to them, “Seemed a bit weird but that was it. What did he do?”

Walter’s mouth pressed into a firm line as he glowered in the direction Clarence had walked off in. “Asked questions I don’t like answering. Keep your distance. Want tea or beer?” Before I responded the man had ambled off to the back, coming back with two beers and setting one in front of me. I accepted, because I’m not the kind of person to turn down free beer, and I didn’t press the matter further. I figured I wouldn’t see Clarence any time soon anyway.

I actually ran into him again that night, while Hamlet and I were on a run. We were on the loop back home when I heard someone shouting my name. I skidded to a stop and pulled one of my headphones out, craning my neck around and seeing a shorter guy dashing on up to me.

When he was close enough, I finally realized that this was Clarence, and he was not looking so good. When he skidded to a stop his knees buckled, the poor guy nearly falling to the ground as he gasped for air. Not exactly a man in the best of shape.

I waited until he’d started to catch his breath before speaking. “Yeah? You want something?”

Clarence swallowed and stood back up straight, wiping the sweat off his pallid forehead. “So so sorry… to b-bother you,” he wheezed and for a second I thought he might pass out, “But you live around here too?”

At first I was tempted not to give him any information about where I lived. I mean, he weirded out Walter, and it’s hard getting under that guy’s skin. But I lowered my guard as I saw him struggling to get his breathing under control. “On this street, yeah. You going to be okay?”

Clarence bobbed his head up and down. “I have… Mild asthma. You’re… really fast,” He swallowed again and finally seemed to get his breathing under control. “I was just thinking about this being a s-strange coincidence, but we’re actually neighbors!” He pointed to the house on the corner. I did remember that the for sale sign had vanished, but I figured whoever bought it was going to plow it over, that place was not in the greatest of shape. “I was sitting on my front porch and saw you run by, I had to be s-sure it was you, Bobby.”

“Yeah,” I tightened my grip on Hamlet’s leash. I did not want my German mix accidentally knocking him over. “Why though?”

Clarence smiled. “Well, you were very nice to me today! I figured you’d be a good person to get to know if you lived around here.”

“What’d you say to Walter earlier?” I asked. “He seemed pretty upset when I entered the shop.”

“Walter- oh! The scary, elderly gentleman that runs the taxidermy place, right,” Clarence looked a bit sheepish, “I’m afraid I’m a bit poor at phrasing my questions. All I wanted to know was more of the process of taxidermy. It’s a s-science I’d like to know more about. That’s all.”

That actually relieved me. I’d been afraid that Walter was on the receiving end of some homophobic bullshit, but that didn’t seem to be the case. I lowered my guard and stopped gripping the leash so tight. “Yeah, no offense, you don’t seem to be the most… eloquent,” I said, deciding that maybe being subtle with this guy wasn’t going to work.

Thankfully Clarence didn’t take offense. “Everyone says that, I’m not really good with people,” He chuckled, jamming his hands into his pockets, “But I hope I can get along well enough in this place. Is everyone nice around here?”

We chatted for a few minutes. I learned he’d been recently divorced from his wife and lost his job, so this was going to be a fresh start. Any of my earlier apprehension quickly dissolved, this was just a lonely guy who just wanted to make a friend. Hamlet didn’t seem to mind him either, although he strangely enough didn’t jump up and try to lick his face- Hamlet thinks face kisses are the best to give to strangers.

When we parted, Clarence looked to be on cloud nine. “Thank you for n-not being upset with me,” He bowed his head in my direction, “I hope we see each other again soon!” With that, my bizarre new neighbor trotted down the street.

I glanced down at Hamlet. “Guess we should be nice to him,” I decided, giving my dog a pat on the head. Hamlet wuffed quietly before he started pulling on his leash to head back to the house. I didn’t double check to see if Clarence saw me head into my home, but I guess he had to have- the next morning there was a package of home made cookies on my doorstep, along with a note with yet another apology about the books.

Damn good cookies, even if they were oatmeal raisin.

Hindsight being 20/20, I really did drop my guard around Clarence too quickly. But it was hard to be freaked out by a guy who got winded running half a block and apologized for breathing the same air as you. I dunno, I just didn’t think he was very threatening. Even when things started to get strange. And by strange, I mean actually fucking horrifying.

We have a lot of pets in our neighborhood, and warning, this is gonna get gruesome, so turn away if you’re sensitive to this kind of thing. It was a week to the day that I first met Clarence that the eldest Waid boy, Brian, came to my front door.

I opened up to see the twelve year old staring at his untied shoes, nervously chewing on his thumbnail. When he first spoke it was so quiet I had to ask him to repeat himself.

“… Have you seen Cooper?”

Cooper was the Waid’s obese chocolate Labrador retriever. Good dog though, even if he was always begging at the summer barbecues and drooling like a monster. I shook my head, not even recalling the last time I saw the dog. “What’s up buddy, is he missing?” I asked.

Brian nodded, chomping down on another finger nail.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t seen Cooper. Tell you what, I’m about to take Hamlet for a run. I’ll keep an eye open for Cooper while I’m out, okay?”

That seemed to relieve the kid at least, I got a half smile out of him before he bolted from my porch and headed to the next house. I felt for the kid, I wasn’t particularly closed to the Waids but I knew Brian had some social issues. It had to be hard for him to go door to door like that. I went looking for Hamlet’s leash, figuring there was no way Cooper could get far. I’d seen him dozing on his owner’s front lawn without any supervision nearly every warm day in the summer. It would’ve taken a lot to get him to leave his comfort spot.

I figured it would be easy anyway, if the dog had just wandered off. But I combed through the neighborhood, even bringing Hamlet’s gourmet treat bag to try and lure out the greedy pup. I headed out again at lunchtime, and I even told Walter not to expect me at the shop that afternoon because I was looking for a lost dog.

It didn’t cross my mind until it was dark out that perhaps Cooper had not just ‘wandered off’. I mean, he was a good dog. I checked in with the Waids at dinner, all of the poor kids a wreck and the parents having not a clue where Cooper could’ve gone off to.

“After all, we just let him out a few minutes before we looked out the window and saw he was gone. I don’t understand how he could’ve gotten out of the yard and out of sight so fast,” Mrs. Waid said, although the way she fidgeted clued me in that she didn’t believe Cooper ran away. Of course she couldn’t say that around the forlorn Brian, telling the boy someone stole his dog would’ve probably broken him, but I could read between the lines. And it was the only possible scenario that made sense, although why someone would steal Cooper was beyond me.

The next morning when I was going to take Hamlet for his morning walk, I saw the Romero kids stuffing my mailbox with something. At first I was worried it was one of their pranks, but I opened up the mailbox to see a flier.

It wasn’t just Cooper that had gone missing the day before. Rocky, the Romero’s rottweiler, had also went missing around the same time.

Two dogs, one day. It was too spine chilling to be a simple coincidence.

I mean, the cops didn’t take it seriously. Two dogs missing but no one seen ushering either away or lurking around the properties, so clearly both just ran away. Just bad timing. Yeah right. No one in the neighborhood bought that, and by that night everyone was keeping a tight grip on their pet’s leashes.

That grip grew even tighter when their bodies turned up.

I just left the house with Hamlet for his morning walk when my dog suddenly barked and pulled his leash free from my hand, dashing down the street. He bolted right towards a dark shape next to the Waid’s dumpsters that I initially thought was a trash bag. It wasn’t until I got closer that I saw the pool of stagnant blood and realized the ‘trash bag’ was the lower half of a brown dog’s body. Someone had cut it in half, right about where the ribs ended.

I skidded to a stop. I stared for an agonizing amount of time, watching Hamlet growl while buzzing flies crawled between the viscera spilling out of the mutilated corpse.

Then I ran for the Waid’s front door and pounded on it. It was only about six AM, but no way… no way I was going to let Brian leave the house and see that.

This time when the police were called, it was taken far more seriously. It’s one thing to have a missing dog. It’s another thing entirely for the missing dog’s corpse, or well, half the dog’s corpse to be dumped practically on the doorstep. And although the perpetrator may have wanted it to seem like it was a hit and run, there was just no sign of the dog’s other half. Even if by some weird circumstance Cooper was torn in half after being hit by oncoming traffic, which is highly unlikely, we’d have to find some sign of the head and shoulders.

Brian was understandably a wreck, but his mom pulled me aside to thank me. It had been Brian’s morning to take in the garbage. If he’d seen that… god, I don’t even want to think about it. They didn’t give him all the details, but when the remains of Rocky were found later that day, dumped in a similar manner, I imagine he did get an inkling about the condition of his beloved family pet.

I knew one of the cops personally, he’s another of my neighbors, Tim Grove. We met when he moved here a few years back with his heavily pregnant wife Florence. She couldn’t really help with furniture, so I tagged in. Although my first impression of Tim was to be a bit intimidated by the big guy, we’ve ended up becoming pretty good friends. I’m actually go to babysitter for their son Harry. That night after the initial panic had died down, Tim came over to chill at my front porch.

“You know what dead animals mean?” Tim asked me as we watched the sun set in this previously simple neighborhood.

I just raised an eyebrow and waited for Tim to remember my hobby. “Not like what you do,” He rolled his eyes and punched me in the shoulder. “Like what happened today.”

I unfortunately had to nod. “Fucked up person. Really fucked up person,” I said.

Tim nodded, dragging his hands down his face. “Damn it. I don’t ever want to see another dead dog in my entire life,” He groaned.

I got the man a beer, not at all envious of the task that was in front of him. By the time I returned, I internally groaned when I saw Clarence with yet another gift for me, a wrapped up fruitcake. He looked about ready to wet his pants at the sight of Tim.

Clarence sighed with relief when he saw me. “I just came by with this!” He handed me his newest baked offering. “Um, I’m s-sorry, I didn’t know you had someone over already, I didn’t want to be a hassle, I just made too much m-m-mixture and-”

“Clarence, you’re fine,” I interrupted. “This is Tim, he’s my neighbor to the right. His bark is worse than his bite.”

Tim quietly laughed. “Hope you end up liking it around here, Clarence. Moved here little over three years ago myself, and well, other than what happened today, it’s usually pretty quiet.”

Clarence cocked his head to the side. “What happened today?” he asked. Tim grimaced and looked to me to handle this.

“Someone killed a dog. Two dogs, actually. Pretty messed up,” I said.

Clarence looked sympathetic. “Which families? Would they appreciate some baked goods?” He asked.

“Maybe give them a few days. But that’s a nice thought,” I said.

Clarence nodded and nudged his glasses up with a finger. “Goodbye then, I’ll speak with you tomorrow if we run into each other!” With that, he skittered off back to his house on the corner.

Tim waited until he was out of earshot before he turned to me. “That’s the guy that just moved in?” He asked, sounding carefully nonchalant.

“Yeah. He’s all right.” I unwrapped the fruit cake and sat down. “Bit bad at making friends, but he’s all right.”

Tim didn’t say anything, only twisting his mouth before eyeing that cake. “Sooo, is he a good baker?” He asked.

“He’s good at baking cookies at least. I’ll cut us some slices and you’ll find out if he’s good at cake too.”

Answer: yes, he was good at cake too. We quickly changed the subject away from Clarence, really we stopped talking about the events of the day entirely, we needed to decompress.

I imagine some of you are wondering why Clarence wasn’t top of the suspect list, since the mangled dogs showed up right after he arrived in town. And I think it’s because not many people even realized Clarence was there. He was just that invisible of a person. Hell, I wouldn’t have noticed if Clarence hadn’t made it a point to keep showing the fuck up wherever I was. Even then, I didn’t chalk that up to stalking or anything creepy. That’s how nonthreatening he came off as, even if he was bizarre.

Some people are just good at that I guess.

People of course took precautions. Never leave your dog alone in the yard, don’t let them out late, just keep an eye out for anyone who looked off.

It didn’t stop though. That’s the whole chilling part about it, the fact the pet killer saw people had their guards up and it didn’t stop him. More pets vanished, both cats and dogs of all breeds and sizes. In and out the thief would slip into yards, take their beloved pets, and within the week their butchered remains would show up near their home. Only parts and never the whole. I never let Hamlet off his leash when we were outside, which made him miserable, but the very idea of losing my best four legged friend was enough to break me. I’m sure any and all pet owners can empathize with that.

I never considered Clarence a danger until an afternoon I was watching Harry for Tim, a ‘work emergency’ that he didn’t want to go into too much detail about but odds are was another dead pet. That day I’d taken Harry to the park because he ‘wants swings time!’ I couldn’t say no to that lil face, it’s too cute. Besides, I’m not his dad. I don’t have to say no.

Harry was begging me to swing him higher when I heard someone softly clear their throat behind me. I turned my head around and saw a surprised looking Clarence.

“I d-didn’t know you had a son,” Clarence said, nudging his glasses up as he stared at Harry.

“He’s not mine, he’s the Grove’s,” I scooped Harry off the swing, the kid squealing as I set him on the ground, “This is Harry. I’m just watching him for now.”

Harry grinned and did that cheeky wave of his that made him seem shy, but it was all an act. Kid can and would make friends with anyone that gave him even a little attention.

I didn’t expect Clarence’s response, which was to immediately turn his head away and shudder. It was such a visceral reaction that I was, for the first time, truly put off from Clarence.

“Are you okay?” I asked, picking Harry up and letting him cling to my side like a little monkey.

Clarence kept facing away, but I saw his face going red and his eyes looking a bit wet. “It’s nothing,” He squeaked out, his voice barely above a whisper. He finally turned to face me, plucking his glasses off to clean them on his shirt and smiling at the little guy. “H-Hello, Harry. You remind me of my Trudy, you know?”

Harry beamed and waved again. “Hello! Hello!” He chanted, reaching to try and take Clarence’s glasses. Clarence chuckled and mock put the glasses on his face, but he couldn’t hide the genuine pain on his face when he took them back.

“Hello, and… a-another time, then,” With that, Clarence sped out of the park, not even stopping to give a more official goodbye. Harry didn’t pick up on anything being strange, but toddlers usually don’t pick up on social strangeness, he just wanted more time on the swings.

I did though. And I brought it up that night when I was chilling with Tim, both of us cracking open a few beers.

Tim was clearly exhausted, the last few weeks of animal thefts and deaths were wearing him down. He needed the guy’s time on the porch. It was after Harry was put down for sleep when I brought up Clarence’s bizarre behavior at the park.

“Why was he even there?” was Tim’s first question.

“Guy sticks to me like a burr to a sock,” I responded, throwing my emptied beer can into the trash, “I think he’s just… clingy. You know anything about him?”

Tim shrugged. “I ran a background check on him after he gave us fruitcake. Just to see if anything popped up, relax. Guy doesn’t even have a parking ticket, he’s clean as they come.”

“What about Trudy? Did he have a child?”

Tim sighed and reached for another beer. “Did. He did have a child,” He said. “That’s the one thing that really popped out at me, I kinda feel bad for the guy.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“She died. About a year ago.” Tim shook his head. “Clarence was driving home from work, got t-boned in the center of the intersection. He lost his left leg from the knee down and his daughter Gertrude didn’t make it. She was four. Life seemed to just fall apart for him after that. Divorced his wife right after he got out of the hospital, lost his job shortly after that. I didn’t want to give him a hard time, so I left him alone after I ran the check. Just had to make sure he wasn’t some kind of wanted serial killer. They tend to do that, you know- start with animals, work their way up to more… human prey.”

I sat there, completely stunned. No wonder he’d reacted like that around Harry, if he was still grieving the loss of his own kid that was around that age. As I headed back home, I resolved to try to reach out to Clarence more often, starting the next day.

I never did. That night me and the rest of the neighbors woke up to Florence’s bloodcurdling screams.

I ran over without even putting my shoes on. I didn’t even try to make sure Hamlet stayed indoors, so he ended up running outside with me. I just about ran into their door when Tim whipped it open, his face white as a sheet.

He only got out the word ‘Harry’ before he collapsed in my arms, nearly sending us both toppling over- Tim’s a big fucking dude. I helped him to the bench in the front porch before I burst into the house, unsure of what I would find.

I found Florence, still screaming in her child’s bedroom. The window was open, letting in a cool breeze, and Harry’s bed was empty.

I couldn’t get a lick of sense out of the hysterical Florence, so I stumbled back out to Tim, who was still white and was now trembling. I quietly sat down next to him and asked, “What happened?”

“… We put him down around seven. Florence only wanted to take a quick look at him when she was up and he was… gone. He’s not in the house. Where’s my boy?”

I didn’t even consciously think about it. I just remembered Clarence’s face in the park earlier that day, the look of tragic loss, and how it was now plastered across the face of my friend.

I still didn’t stop to get my shoes on. I bolted across lawns and down the street, Hamlet galloping after me as I ran to that quiet house on the corner. Clarence’s house. It looked somehow even more uninhabited than ever, the lights all dark and the lawn unkempt. Sometime since he’d arrived the front window had been broken and all he’d done was tape some cardboard over it.

Tragedy can make a man do some really messed up things, and I found that out the moment I entered the house.

Hamlet started snarling the moment I forced open the door. Hamlet rarely growls, he’s a pretty laid back dog. But he could pick up the wrong before I did. I heard the jangling of a dog’s tags down the hall and I turned on my phone’s light as I stepped further into the house. The place was still filled with unpacked boxes, nothing in any sort of order.

I almost reached the kitchen when out poked the head of a chocolate lab. A chocolate lab I only knew too well.

I froze. Cooper stopped only for a second, his head lolling to one side before he looked up at me. I panned my light over the rest of him, my hands shaking as I saw he was cleanly split down the middle, the back end of him taller than his front end and with short black fur contrasting with Cooper’s soft brown coat.

I dropped my phone, I heard the screen smash on the way down but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Hamlet barked, the hair on the back of his neck standing straight as his hackles raised. Cooper didn’t really respond, just meandered his way back into the kitchen and plopping down by the sink, next to a cat… a Frankenstein’s monster of a cat. I picked up my phone and panned the light over to see there was no less than four different cats sewn together to be one single feline, its glazed blue eye looking at me while its just as milky amber twin was permanently tilted towards the ceiling. Cooper, well, half Cooper and half Rocky just huffed while the Frankenstein’s cat groomed his ears.

I was shaking so bad as I made my way back to the living room. I collapsed on the couch, Hamlet whining and pressing his nose into my hand as I continued to tremble. It looked so wrong in a way I can’t even put my finger on, but I guess the closest feeling would be to compare it to uncanny valley- it was still a cat and still a dog, but at the same time it wasn’t.

Another cold nose, this one dry, rubbed against my ankle and I hauled my foot up to see another cat… well, half a cat.

I didn’t know whether to laugh hysterically or scream and cry at the sight of the two headed animal at my feet. One head was of an orange tabby with ripped up ears and the other head was a bichon frise that I recognized from a missing poster that was plastered on the corkboard at the grocery across town. The heads and shoulders were sewn together clumsily to the body of another animal that wasn’t dog or cat- the best I could guess from the bushy orange tail it was a fox.

That disturbing chimera stared at me with all four eyes before he clumsily clambered back into an empty box.

I forced myself to get up, fearing even more for Harry. I was leaving the living room with full intent to go get Tim and the rest of the goddamn police force… but that’s when I quite literally bumped into Clarence leaving his basement.

I just froze, staring back at the nonplussed Clarence. My new neighbor eyed the growling Hamlet, then looked back at me. Nudging up his glasses, he smiled. “I didn’t know you wanted to come over, Bobby. But I thought I heard you up here. Are you here for Harry?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Come, follow me. He’s downstairs.”

I don’t know why I followed Clarence when I should’ve bashed his head in against the wall and made a run for it, but I did. I told Hamlet to sit and stay, and for once the dog listened to me as I followed Clarence into the basement. The basement reeked, smelling so metallic I could almost taste it, and Clarence turned on the light to a horror show.

Blood and gore caked the area around a worktable in the center of the room, bloody needles and thread stacked up next to it along with a bin full of innards and bits of hide. Beside it, the front half of a raccoon attached to the back end of a dachshund was leisurely chewing on a piece of intestine. A murky tank of water was up against the far wall, its surface occasionally disturbed by whatever was inside. I nearly collapsed with relief when I saw Harry, unharmed, sitting on a couch and clutching a stuffed rabbit I knew wasn’t his.

“Rogue taxidermy. Have you heard of it?”

I nodded while Clarence took a seat next to Harry, patting the boy’s hair while Harry’s bottom lip quivered. “Like jackalopes. Not really my thing. Clarence, why is Harry here?”

“First things first.” Clarence nodded to the murky tank. “Take a look at my newest creation. Not every one worked out, but I feel this one looks the best.”

Deciding that just going along with what the potentially crazy and murderous guy wanted was the best course of action, I headed over to the tank. I nearly set my fingers on the side when Clarence cleared his throat. “Uh, maybe don’t… do that. Just wait a moment.”

So I did. In a moment, the water stirred and out popped the head of a goat. I jumped backwards with probably quite the yell, much to Clarence’s amusement as I heard him quietly chuckle.

The goat glowered at me before it flicked its tail above the water… its fish tail. As it swum circles around the tank, its lips twitched to show its flat molars had been replaced with what I could only assume were the teeth of various dogs, all janky and twisted.

“I spent a long time getting all the fish I needed for its tail. I needed them fresh, you see, so I couldn’t just go to any fish market and expect the freshness required.”

I turned back around, hiding my shaking hands behind my back. “What the actual fuck, Clarence?” I said, my jaw clenched so tight it was borderline painful.

Clarence tutted his tongue and covered Harry’s ears. “Small ears listen, Bobby,” He gently scolded.

“Not apologizing. What is that?!” I asked, gesturing to the goat monstrosity swimming in its tank. “What is… what is all of this?!”

Clarence got to his feet, putting himself between me and Harry, who was still cuddling the rabbit and clearly struggling not to cry. “You get a lot from a family, you know. Inherit so many things.” In this basement that stunk of death, Clarence had gone from the shaky nerdy fellow to a man confident and dare I say it, proud of his work. “I’ve inherited my talents, and of course the instructions, to fake life.” He nodded towards the dog-raccoon combo. “It’s not really alive, or it doesn’t have its soul from before. It’s running off muscle memory, which probably is why that goat is so poorly behaved.”

Before I could get it out, Clarence answered it for me. “And as for why, well, my ancestors have been playing with the dead for almost seven generations.” He nodded towards the work bench. “Go on, take a look.”

It took me a second to realize he was gesturing to a book, thicker than most dictionaries and bound with old, cracked leather. Still trying to keep Clarence at the corner of my vision, I picked up the book and flipped it open. The writing near the beginning was faded and written in such old English I could barely understand it, but as I flipped through the pages the words became darker and the language began to modernize. At the end of each section was a signature.

“My mother was the most recent author. I was her only child. Luckily for me, I lived long enough to inherit the book.” Clarence’s jaw clenched so tight it looked painful. “But I’ve not been so lucky.

“Trudy?” I asked.

Clarence took a deep shuddering breath before he nodded. “It was all my fault, you know,” A tear slipped out of the corner of his eye, “I’d been working far too hard. My wife, bless her, told me I needed to take it easy, but I wanted to- I guess I just wanted to make a mark somewhere other than the book, which would only be seen by family. I fell asleep at the wheel of my car when Tr… Trudy was sleeping in the backseat. We were heading home from a father daughter date, because I f-finally promised to take the time to spend time with her. I thought I’d have a hundred more nights like that, never even thought for a moment how it’d be the final time.”

He looked at Harry, eyes filled with grief. “No, he doesn’t look like Trudy. Not a bit. Trudy… my Trudy looked like her mother. Ginger hair and hazel eyes, had a beautiful smile. But this boy, it’s his soul that reminds me of Trudy. Good. Just… just so good. I promise, no animal in here suffered. I managed to procure some pentobarbital to help them go easy and quietly. Except for the goat, unfortunately that one had to be fought with a bit more. Quite an ornery creature, but I wanted to see if I could pull off making a seagoat. And I did, didn’t I? No one else in that book has succeeded in making separate parts work as a whole. It’s been tried of course, Mary Shelley was quite an inspiring woman, but I was the one to figure it out. I have to pass it on to someone, don’t I?”

The conviction he spoke with during his speech, I almost understood him. Almost.

I set the book back down and carefully approached Clarence. “But you can’t pass it onto Harry. You know he’s not your son. We can make this better, Clarence. You don’t want to hurt Harry, right?” I said, trying to speak in a calm voice and not with the fury I felt for the sake of this little guy.

Clarence’s face contorted in horror. “Of course I wouldn’t!” He said.

“Can’t you see how scared he is then?” I gestured to the little boy. “Was that Trudy’s bunny? He seems to like it.”

Clarence swallowed audibly. “She named it Rosie,” He said.

“You don’t want to hurt Harry, but his dad? He’s in agony right now. Just like you were when you lost Trudy.” I took another careful step towards Harry, trying to gesture for the little boy to come to me but he seemed about glued to his seat. “You don’t want to hurt someone like you were hurt. You didn’t even want to hurt these animals, you just wanted to create something new, and you did. It’s… it’s beautiful, Clarence. You’ve really done something incredible.” My stomach turned at the lie, but I was just trying to calm this guy down as I inched closer to Harry. “Let’s go to Tim and return Harry. We can get you some help. I’ll be with you every step of the way. It’s not too late to make things right.” I was now right up next to Clarence, who was staring at his hands. “We can make this right?” I asked. He didn’t respond, just staying still. I took that as a sign of acceptance, so I reached for Harry.

My first mistake was assuming Clarence’s stillness was a sign of surrender. My second mistake was assuming that Clarence wasn’t as wimpy as he looked.

He moved like lightning, one second I was reaching for Harry and the next I was flat on my ass with stars exploding in front of my eyes and my head screaming in pain.

Clarence stood, his face a careful mask as he patted Harry’s head. “I’m sorry, Bobby. But I know there’s no returning from what I’ve done.” He leaned down to look at me, smiling that friendly smile that now made my skin crawl. “I won’t kill you. You can tell Tim and Florence I’ll take great care of Harry. He won’t even miss them, with all the things he’ll be able to learn from me.”

With not many options, I did probably one of the lowest things I could’ve done.

I smacked Clarence’s left leg out from under him. It hurt like hell to whack his prosthetic, but it had the desired effect. Clarence immediately lost his balance and he tumbled to the ground. My head still swimming with pain, I scrambled to get up and scooped Harry up, who finally began to wail as I held him in my arms. I tried to head for the stairs, but by then Clarence had gotten back up and limped his way in front of me, cutting off my mistake. He was still so calm, not at all mad about my retaliatory attack.

“You’re not leaving with Harry,” Clarence said. “I won’t kill you, I promised and I don’t break promises, but I will hurt you if it means I’ll have him.”

I backed away, now not at all sure of what Clarence was capable of now. Sure, he said he wouldn’t kill me, but would him killing me count if he could just bring me back right after?

I kept stepping backwards until I nearly bumped into the tank. I heard the gnashing of the seagoat’s teeth behind me and it occurred to me that not all of Clarence’s creations were happy to just chill and eat their own guts.

I bolted behind the tank and with one strong kick, I knocked that tank over.

The tank’s water spilled across the floor and the seagoat flopped about, trying to find balance with only two legs and a fish tail. Its strange yellow eyes rolled back towards me for a second and I briefly panicked, thinking it might be come for me, but it thankfully its murderous gaze focused back on Clarence.

With a watery bleat, the seagoat lunged at Clarence, who screamed as he was tackled to the floor. While Clarence tried to hold that thing back and prevent it from biting his nose off, I bolted for those stairs.

Hamlet was still waiting upstairs, thank god, and we ran out of that house while Harry bawled and held onto my neck so tightly I couldn’t breathe. I ran back down the street where the cop cars had now surrounded Tim’s place.

Even if my head was absolutely killing me and the horrors of that house were still making my stomach churn, it was all worth it when I burst into the house with Harry in my arms and seeing both Tim and Florence’s expressions of despair turn to pure joy.

People are still calling me a hero, which I will admit feels pretty nice. Walter says I get free use of his taxidermy space for the rest of his life, which would sound pretty neat but he never charged me before, so it’s mostly a joke. I don’t think Tim has let a day go by without thanking me, and Harry is still my little buddy. He’s bounced back pretty well, a doctor’s visit confirmed he was perfectly unharmed and he was always a pretty happy go lucky tyke.

Of course, people called for Clarence to be drawn and quartered, but the bastard got the last laugh. It wasn’t even an hour until the cops were breaking down his door, and although they did find a few sewn together animal corpses, Clarence was nowhere to be found… and neither was his book or the damn seagoat.

[twilightmalachite]

Raison d’être - The Nameless Girl 3

Author: Akira

Characters: Mika

Translator: Mika Enstars

"That’s what’s cute ‘bout him. I really want Oshi-san to do whatever he wants t’do and shine brightly without havin’ t’worry ‘bout me."

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: Shu’s Atelier (Paris)

The next day at noon. At the atelier near where Itsuki Shu is boarding…

Mika: (Hmm, what to do…)

(Oshi-san seems t’be talkin’ with the landlady where he’s boardin’ at… Apparently, she’s an old friend of Grandfather’s from when he was in Paris.)

(So he thought maybe she’d know a thing or two ‘bout the “MADEMOISELLE” person.)

(That’s what Oshi-san said he had “in mind”, wasn’t it?)

(Still. Like Raffaello-san said, there’s a deadline fer the Funeral Contest. We can’t afford t’dawdle—)

(So t’help out, I’m here t’investigate the atelier.)

(Like where Oshi-san’s boardin’ at, this atelier… It was also used by Grandfather way back then.)

So by lookin’ around here, I may be able to discover some new info ‘bout Grandfather.)

(But, I dunno how t’even start… What if I accidentally knocked and broke some valuable work of art or somethin’ expensive? That’d be horrible…)

(There is a deadline, but it’s a vague one that says it’s whenever Grandfather picks one of the family member’s projects.)

(So we can take our time thinkin’ ‘til Grandfather gets proposed a funeral service he thinks is right fer him. So it feels like we got no time, but we surprisin’ly do.)

(Well, there’s also still the possibility that Grandfather’ll pick someone else’s plan at any moment and make all of our efforts meanin’less, but…)

Mika: (It’ll still be meanin’ful for Oshi-san to get in touch with his beloved Grandfather’s past, right? It’s stimulatin' his curiosity and motivatin' him to create.)

(Even I’m startin’ to get kinda curious!)

(If I can learn ‘bout “MADEMOISELLE”-san, Mado-nee’s look-alike—I feel I’ll be able t’connect with Mado-nee more.)

(I haven’t been able t’talk with Mado-nee much lately, so I’ve been missin’ her a bit.)

Raffaello: “—Found anything?”

Mika: Nnaahh!?

D-don’t talk outta nowhere like that! I don’t like gettin’ surprised!

Raffaello: “My apologies. I hadn’t realized you were so close to me.”

Mika: Ah, so ya were sittin’ on the desk… So ya really did arrive ahead of us, huh? Ya must be tired from the trip.

Raffaello: “My body is that of a doll’s, so I do not get tired. You’re also quite a strange kid, aren’t you?”

Mika: Nnah~, I’m glad t’have someone t’talk to! Oshi-san had left me tellin’ me t’do my own investigatin’ elsewhere, so I was lonely.

Raffaello: “Fufu. My father was like that too, going about his own way with little care about those around him. I suppose it’s in the blood.”

Mika: That’s what’s cute ‘bout him. I really want Oshi-san to do whatever he wants t’do and shine brightly without havin’ t’worry ‘bout me.

I love the Oshi-san who looks ahead and walks proudly with his chest out…♪

I honestly’d rather him to not pay attention to a dirty doll lyin’ out on the side of the road—

Raffaello: “…My father once said something similar.”

Mika: Grandfather did?

Raffaello: “Of course, I didn’t hear it firsthand. It was something depicted in my mother’s diary, now buried alongside her in her coffin.”

Mika: Nnah~… I’d like to also give the diary a look, but it wouldn’t be right t’dig up her grave, wouldn’t it?

Raffaello: “That’s right. But do not worry, I’ll explain as much as I can recall.”

Mika: But I don’t like that, you can jus’ tell lies that are convenient t’ya.

Raffaello: “Fufu. You’ll just have to trust me.”

“Anyways. Unlike you, I am unaware of what is in the diaries you have, so I do not know if you know this or not, but…”

“My mother was a dollmaker.”

“My father was a big fan of my mother’s work, you see.”

Mika: “MADEMOISELLE”-san would make dolls? Like Oshi-san does?

Raffaello: “That’s right. You might find some of my mother’s work that my father purchased on display here.”

“Look, here is a taxidermy wolf—Or so it may appear to be one, that is.”

“It’s not a real taxidermy wolf. You will understand if you touch it. It’s a doll made by my mother, elaborately crafted down to every pore.”

Mika: Nnah, so this ain’t the real thing?

Ooh… Lookin’ at it closer, I can see its eyes are somethin’ like glass marbles! Well, I dunno, maybe real taxidermy animals have those too.

Raffaello: “Yes. Truthfully, it would be much cheaper to buy a real taxidermy wolf, and it would be much more accurate to one as well. It’d make use of the actual corpse itself, after all.”

“Even so, my mother was committed to recreate each and everyone one of these organic objects.”

“To reproduce God’s creations in nature with her own, human hands.”

“No matter how sophisticated the smartphone, no matter how high the pixel count of a camera, humans will never cease to reproduce nature with their own hands. Landscape paintings never become obsolete.”

“Something like that. Unlike my mother, I am no artist, I do not know what I am talking about…”

“But my mother surely felt there was some “significance” to that.”

Mika: ……

[ ☆ ]

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[the-visual-journey-blogg]

Unveiling a Stop-Motion Masterpiece: 'The Tale of the Fox (1937)'

(7 min reading)

By Sofi Ojeda

In this exploration of early 20th-century animation, we delve into the captivating world of stop-motion with a focus on the animated feature film "The Tale of the Fox (1930)" by Władysław Starewicz, a Russian-Polish animator.

Before the advent of stop-motion animation, cinematic special effects primarily involved the work of visionaries like George Méliès, who conjured objects into existence or made them disappear in live-action films. Inspired by this, Władysław Starewicz showcased his early drawings, demonstrating artistic talent and a deep interest in photography, cinematography, and the world of insects, and embarked on a unique journey. He became one of the first animators to employ puppets, taxidermy, and exceptional puppet mastery to bring life to his imaginative creations in stop motion.

To discuss ‘The Tale of the Fox’ feature film, it's crucial to highlight Władysław Starewicz's animation evolution. Which started as the director of the Museum of Natural History in Kaunas, Lithuania. His foray into animation began with a stop motion short film featuring matches, but he soon transitioned to the realm of bugs, making them the stars of his emotionally charged and unconventional narratives, placing them into romantic, revenge or even lust situations (yes, with bugs).

Film director Władysław Starewicz on set of 'The Tale of the Fox', 1930. Photo: www.audiovis.nac.gov.pl (NAC)

The production of his films was an arduous and meticulous process, capturing phases of movement in photography frame by frame, initially with a camera he obtained in 1909, it showcased Starewicz's complete dedication to his craft. He, along with his family, created a whole new technique. His first short films were well renowned in Europe, and they began to gain recognition in the United States.

While residing in Russia, Władysław experienced the revolution of 1937, a tough political situation, which led to the overthrow of the Russian government. Later, with the animation industry aligning with the Czar, Starewicz and his family sought refuge in France. Following the completion of several projects, "The Tale of the Fox" eventually emerged.

This film story revolves around Reineke Fox (Reynard the Fox), a cunning and sly anthropomorphic fox who is known for his cleverness and deceitful behavior. Throughout the film, Reynard engages in various adventures and misadventures, often outwitting other animal characters such as the wolf, the bear, and the lion. His fox behavior eventually draws the ire of the king, who promptly orders an attack on his castle.

The film is known for its satirical and often humorous take on human society, politics, and moral values, using the animal characters to comment on human behavior and societal issues. "The Tale of the Fox" is considered a classic in the history of animation. Moreover, it is important to note that Reynard the Fox is a prominent character in European folklore and literature, different adaptations and retellings of his stories can vary in details and themes.

In both Europe and United States, as I mentioned, art and animation were really taking off as major forms of entertainment and becoming popular. Because of this, "The Tale of the Fox" received a very warm reception. In fact, certain American production companies extended invitations for him to participate in the creation of larger-scale films. Nevertheless, he remained steadfast in his decision not to commercialize his art.

"Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)" directed by Wes Anderson.

Finally, his incredible genius has influenced and inspired numerous directors over time, especially those in the horror genre. This influence can also be discerned in renowned works like "King Kong" and "Godzilla," as well as the films of directors such as Willis O'Brien, Tim Burton, and Wes Anderson.

In conclusion, Władysław Starewicz's enduring legacy as the pioneer of stop-motion animation is a testament to his unwavering commitment to his craft and artistic integrity. "The Tale of the Fox" stands as a testament to his dedication and innovation. His influence continues to echo through generations and genres, and will serve as a timeless reminder of the limitless possibilities in the world of animation.

If you have the opportunity, do not miss the chance to experience this remarkable work on Youtube, the video is attatched below.

Bibliography

The Tale of the Fox (1937) Retrospective (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqIZ7lOEiEA)

https://culture.pl/en/artist/wladyslaw-starewicz

https://oforinvolvingmotionpictures.wordpress.com/2020/07/29/essential-the-tale-of-the-fox-1937/

http://notesfromhalfland.blogspot.com/2006/09/field-report-story-of-fox-le-roman-de.html

https://culture.pl/en/article/the-father-of-stop-motion-animation-a-secret-polish-history

[size-two-shrimp]

Which of your fics was the most fun to write?

Cotard and I Alone for sure! I am. Supremely cruel to Gabe in it, but dammit it was fun! Partially because I rarely get to ramble about taxidermy but also because obliterating Gabe is so much fun!

Here's the link for anyone who wants it, just make sure to read those tags :]

[fellshot]

I have many thoughts about and related to S3E7 of the Mandolorian. This will probably be more speculative and spoilery than previous episode musings but it is what it is.

The plot seems to have gotten that second cup of coffee finally. I still maintain that the first episode of this season was completely useless and that the third episode was misplaced at best. Bo Katan is doing a speed run of the last time we saw a whole story arc with the Dark Saber (ie Rebels with Sabine). I wonder if Filoni can differentiate any of the characters who are not Ashoka outside of their allegiances sometimes, because there’s a lot of rhyming between series that’s coming up and crossing the border with straight up repetition. At least I don’t hate the characters and while their motives are a little repetitive with previous storylines, Din and Bo Katan’s motives do make sense for them (unlike Ashoka, who doesn’t seem to have one of her own at all).

Grogu fans will be happy to know that he now has a mech suit with “yes” and “no” communication aids and that he is happy to use them. The mech is made out of IG-11 from the first season and I for one would think it pretty ghoulish to be using the remains of a character that everyone seems to see as a friend for this sort of thing. I know people taxidermy their deceased pets and there’s jewelry and objects d’art made with the ashes of loved ones, but this seems way beyond that.

And know for the villainous side of the story: Giancarlos Esposito is way too good of an actor for the series and it is fun watching him eat the scenery. I actively hope that Moff Gideon is the real puppet master for Ashoka because he’s a far better political bad guy than Thrawn (who is best as someone else’s second). Given how much of the clone research seems to fall under Gideon’s purview, how much of Heir to the Empire was centered around trying to clone Force adepts, and given how the general consensus seems to be that the Ashoka series will incorporate chunks of Heir to the Empire in it, Gideon as big bad for that series seems like a better fit than Thrawn. Since no one has seen any TIE Defenders (Thrawn’s canon pet imperial project), I’m going to hope for an imposter pulled up by Moff Gideon until it’s proven otherwise. Gideon smugly asking Captain Pellaeon where Thrawn is in the opening scenes of this episode might be foreshadowing or it could be nothing. But it was also pretty obvious that Pellaeon didn’t know where Thrawn is… but Gideon might.

Reactions to this and the Ashoka trailer seem to fall into a couple of camps. First, those who are raving about the Heir to the Empire trilogy seem to have bought in that this is the real Thrawn coming. They are super excited that one of the best villains in Star Wars is going to show up in live action. There’s excitement that Filoni is doing the thing. Some of these folks have perhaps bought into Filoni’s interpretation of “Thrawn as Moriarty.” But the only character that Filoni seems to care about is Ashoka and Ashoka’s major character problem is that she has no motives of her own and no impact on the Star Wars saga as a whole. That last seems to bother Filoni a lot since he shoehorns Ashoka into everything and she doesn’t really have a development arc of her own.

Second are those (like me) who are also familiar with all the other books where Thrawn appears (the 2017 trilogy, the Ascendacy trilogy, the Hand of Thrawn Trilogy, Outbound Flight) who understand that Thrawn couldn’t politic his way past a ten year old and that more importantly Thrawn knows he can’t politic his way past a ten year old, why the hell would he think of himself as “Heir to the Empire.” Zahn sees Thrawn as “Sherlock on the wrong side” and not Moriarty (this is best seen in Thrawn Alliances with the juxtaposition between him and Vader and furthered in Thrawn Treason). The reactions here have been generally less optimistic and more “uh oh.” Filoni doesn’t seem to do nuanced antagonists, but Zahn absolutely writes Thrawn as multifaceted and perhaps more importantly Zahn writes Thrawn with an understanding that he can absolutely change sides if given the right push and that Thrawn does learn from his mistakes. More significantly, Thrawn tries to fix them when they are brought to his attention (Eli Vanto’s long delayed promotion is a good example). I kind of doubt that’s going to be the case at all given the show runners.

I still want Ar’Alani to show up and kick all the Imperial ass though.

[blackbackedjackal]

sorry if this is a stupid question but ever sense you mentioned it a few days ago I've been wondering.

How much physical strength does taxidermy take? like, is it something any reasonably able bodied person could do or is there some strength training needed for the bigger critters?

So taxidermy itself isn't too straining if you're only interested in doing mounting. The forms are light weight and unless you're trying to mount a big game animal so anyone reasonably able bodied can defiantly get into it. The sewing, tugging, and tucking work is going to be more difficult than anything, and that's more strain on your hands, tendons, and forearms then overall body strength.

Animal processing is different, but again it depends on what you work on and what processes you do. I'd say the average person who's never done anything can handle skinning most small animals. Once you step into the 20-25lb territory is when things can get a bit straining.

All my strength training came from just doing the labor. A 5gal bucket full of water weighs about 42lbs and those are what I used for maceration. I used to have to hold the handle with both hands to move them around but after about a 8 months or so I was able to grab them one-handed and carry them for at least a few hundred feet. I personally consider any animal heavy if I can't lift it one-handed. That used to be anything around 15-20lbs, but now is anything over 40lbs after working for so long.

Breaking in hides after tanning them also takes a good amount of forearm strength. You need to be able to pull the leather in all directions as well as sand and shave it to make it soft. With smaller animals this isn't much of an issue, but larger ones require a decent amount of strength. I don't know of a good exercise to compare it to, but imagine you're trying to stretch a t-shirt to twice the size of what it is. That's kinda the same motion and amount of strength you would need, and again, varies on the size of the animal.

The good news is there's a ton of tools and equipment that can help with working on larger projects. I have issues with the tendons in my thumbs from doing animal processing without the use of these tools for many years, so I highly recommend them if you want to get into it on a professional or high-production level. They've saved a lot of strain on my hands and arms and make every process more efficient.

I use a skinning tripod with a gambrel to skin anything over 10lbs so the hardest part is turning the crank to hang up the animals. The rig can hold up to about 250lbs, and I don't think I've worked on anything over 50-60lbs. Tanning is far easier with tools like a wire wheel flesher. It basically does all the scrubbing for you so long as you get the right size wheel for the hide and can lift up the hide you're cleaning for several minutes at a time. I usually lay the part of the hide I'm not working on across the edge of the table and then work my way down the hide instead of holding it. I've also invested in some other things like belt sanders and shaving wheels, but those are more niche tools for working on large animals or ones with with thicker skin. Unless you're working on a lot of raccoons, coyotes, or deer they're not really necessary. The right sized wire wheel can handle most animals. A good fleshing beam and fleshing knife will also help ton. With the right angled beam and the right blade it's easy to push all the raw fat and skin off a hide without having to put a lot of physical strain into it (and good fleshing practices at the beginning saves you time in the later processes like when using the wire wheel).

All in all, if you can reasonable lift about 20lbs you can do most taxidermy and small animal processing. You're also able to sit down for many of these processes if you can't stand for long periods of time. Don't work on something you're not certain you can handle, and don't overexert yourself. You can pause at pretty much any point during the process and come back to it, so there's no real rush to get things done. It's a much more accessible hobby and profession than it seems, you just have to know your limits!

[commie-raccoon-raymond]

Hey Hey, I figured I'd make a blog intro :)

I'm Raymond, you can also call me Rain or Ray though :)

Some stuff about me :D

•he/him

•minor

•audhd, anxiety and probably some more mental health issues

•boyflux trans dude, pan, polyam, nebularomantic

• pagan witch (mainly Norse, Celtic and greek, no cultural appropriation wicca shit)

• leftist (anarcho-communist) 🖤❤️

Interests

•Nature (foraging, mushrooms, poisonous plants, taxidermy,.. and all that good shit)

•Creative stuff like drawing, sewing or crochet

•Reading

•solarpunk

•Mythology, folk tales and cryptids

• Shifting (still kinda new to it, but whatever)

•developing new skills (that I probably won't need but who cares)

•(I am certain that I have forgotten something that I really like, because I can't remember shit)

Fandoms

•PjO

•Marauders (f jkr that terf)

• TMA

• Magnus Chase series

• (I also do lurk in other fandoms from time to time, but not consistently so I'm not listening those )

• I might make a separate account for fandom stuff someday, but so far it's just all on here

DNI

•basic dni (racists, transphobes, homophobes, pedos,terfs etc.)

• Nsfw blogs

• pro-Isnotreal people (or just conservatives in general)

• I won't hesitate to block people

What's gonna be on this blog?

•stuff about my interests

•creative projects

•rambles about politics, mental health and other stuff

•self-development and self-love stuff

•CHAOS XD