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thequeenofmyownscreen · 2 years

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I took time to watch the first season of “Narrative Telephone”

What a good idea. What a simple yet good idea. What a wonderful execution. Do we deserve Creative Director Marisha Ray ? I'm pretty sure we don't ; and yet, she has graced the world with amazing things like Narrative Telephone.

Under the cut is a summary of each episode. But really all you need to know is that every second in pure serotonin injected in your veins.

Episode 1, aka "The Wolf Had A Beak" : Ashley is SO BAD at this game. Like, so, SO BAD. But it does not matter, because at the same time she is EXCELLENT at making me laugh. Every time it was her turn in each episode, I was laughing for 5 minutes straight. Sam is chaos, but we knew that already, also he was drinking Martini so that explains it. Travis is just facts straight, and efficiency. I was wondering if maybe initially, they just wanted to see together the original story and the final story, in the "Show & Tell" segment. But if so, the allure of rewatching every recounting was too good, and I'm glad they extended the format.

Episode 2, aka "Way Too Many Details About Directions And SINGING ??" : Liam's Jester's accent was pretty good at the beginning but derailed greatly. The story went longer and longer, and I think at the end it was 4 times longer than the way Laura told it. Marisha was trying to make sense of the story live, but only managed to confuse it MORE. Ashley just abandoned the accent. I love how Laura just accused Sam to "add shit up", and he took this indignant look, like she was NOT saying the truth. Liam : "She's doing War and Peace in two minutes !!". Sam the a capella lover realizing live HE FORGOT THE SONG. Matt was fighting with himself with the geography of Wildemount. Marisha didn't know what "shtuping" meant because surprisingly there's not a lot of Yiddish in Kentucky.

Episode 3, aka "Sam Gets Revenge For The Song He Forgot Last Episode" : Travis started translating the story with a 21th century narration, and Ashley finished the job. Liam was thinking about Paula Abdul (which, fair). Laura added a threesome, which is... in character for her. Marisha added a whole 'nother song. The cast takes 2 minutes to roast Sam on his lockdown look ("is this your mugshot ?", "were you in Requiem for a Dream ?"). Ashley : "You play guitar ???" Sam, who did 2 false starts : "Clearly, No." Everyone does NOT know what a pince-nez is (except Sam). True love is a threesome that lasts for years.

Episode 4, aka "nom nom nom" : Marisha did her famous not-at-all-German accent. "Oh God, I'm Ashley-ing this so hard !" (I love a good Community reference). No joke though, the original story was pretty good, it resembled the true version of the European fairy tales we grew up with (you know the versions with death and pain and misery). Travis was so taken by how cute his wife looked that he forgot part of the story. Matt was very critical of how the 3 children just waited for their fate. Laura's excited that her hair is long enough that she can do the Ring girl, and demonstrates live, while her husband hides his face. Later, Sam's wife does amazing puppetry of the Ring girl behind him just to get Travis, and it works so well ! Matt just knows Liam well enough that he brought back some spooky elements the other forgot. We learn that Marisha learned German in high-school from a teacher that was Spanish... That explains SO MUCH about her accent.

Episode 5, aka "Ashley Incites The Cast To Turn on Each Other" : Marisha wore a nice orange top with little green monsters on it and I want it. When it's Ashley telling the initial story, it goes pretty well !... no, never mind, Laura added way too much at the end. I love that at first it was just a thing Ashley put at the end of her story, and then it got to "Matt said that Travis forgot something", and "There was a miscommunication about food between Matt and Marisha", and "It was obviously Sam's fault since he's an agent of chaos". Sam apparently thinks that Pike is a Valley girl doing a Periscope. It's A JOY to see everyone in the cast just fall back in love with Ashley Johnson as Pike for 2 minutes. Ashley : "We're just getting better !" The rest of the cast : *doubt*. Sam, looking at how LONG Laura's video is "Is there an intermission in this ??" then everyone takes a turn roasting every aspect of Sam's video. Marisha and apparently everyone, when they see Ashley looking cute as a button as Pike : "This is what I want to see when I die."

Episode 6, aka "BOUNDARIES" : Matt, who was after Taliesin, closed his eyes just like he did, and just told the rest of the story like that : MIND PALACE. Love that Marisha wore her rainbow suspenders for the Show & Tell, bringing back Beau's spirit. Sam summarizing Narrative Telephone : "Listen, this show is about blame." I love how everyone compliments Ashley on how beautiful she looks, and as soon as she starts talking as her version of Beau, everyone's like "oh no, this is Pool Hall Ashley". Everyone was just liberating their inner frat boys for this one.

Episode 7, aka "Everybody Hates Taliesin" : when panicking, Laura elongates time, except when she just bails and accelerates. I feel like this story was the hardest, and Laura and Liam's nervous energies made it worse. But Sam and Travis did an impressive job of reeling it back in. And then Marisha and Ashley re-made it worse. And then Matt reeled it back in but at this point it was too late. The point of this story ? "It's about higher consciousness and apparently fucking ditching your siblings in the middle of the forest". During the Show & Tell, I love Matt just doing the wild Kermit flailing his arms up in the background. At one point Sam's daughter comes in his room and says goodnight to the dog that is on Sam's lap and it's SO CUTE. Sam, commenting on Marisha's looks : "You're fucking... Stunner ! How do you do that ???" Marisha, uncomfortable with compliments : "... Stop it." Travis, immediately supportive : "You look like shit." Marisha, earnest : "Thank you !"

Episode 8, aka "The Cameo Of Macaroni Samsonite My Beloved" : I feel like Marisha following Travis was the best choice ever, because of the BrJeaus. I appreciate seeing in Taliesin's background the puppet of Bast'Alar, aka The Ascended One, aka Mittens McFluffyfloof. ASHLEY ?? GROG STONEJAW ??? Laura just bailing out of the end is so good for the season finale. Travis just messing with the rest of the cast who expects an elaborate story with complicated words, but no !! He improvised everything live, and just did a silly voice. The others : "There was a story ?? There was a concept ?????" Poor Marisha, she has a naturally low voice (which I'm NOT complaining about) and she can't do the Macaroni Samsonite voice. Sam had a bugger up his nose and it was all everyone could see, including him. Taliesin accidentally recorded himself in slow-mo and they put it after the end credits. I think this one was the hardest I laughed.

#my thoughts #critical role #narrative telephone

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dodgefred · 3 years

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do you have any ideas as to how you would direct abh/certain scenes if you had the chance

short answer: yes

long answer:

i think overall i would do similar things from mcc because the directing in mcc was exquisite and jessie nelson did a wonderful job, but i would also incorporate some other elements into the show like having an ensemble onstage at all times, having the ensemble integrated into the set like the spring awakening revival does, and i would want everything to feel much more intimate. mcc already does a great job with the intimacy but i really would want to expand on that feeling and make the audience feel as if they’re a member of the bunker listening to this story too.

another thing i would keep is the parallels between bunker visuals and wonderland concepts, like the gas mask flamingos. i would like to expand on this, though, and make the parallels used in the costumes much more noticeable.

the plot structure of alice by heart, in my mind, is alice spencer telling the story of alfred’s death (whether she realizes it or not). i’d have alice begin and end the show reading her book. the music of west of words would begin as soon as alice opens to page one, and the sirens wouldn’t get introduced until after her first verse. this lets us get introduced to alice as a character before we’re introduced to her situation. this also should be the only time alice is alone onstage, and the stage would be bare.

after the siren, the rest of the ensemble would run onstage with furniture and build the bunker in a flurry of bodies and chaos surrounding alice. alfred would run in front of alice before running to his cot, and the rest of this scene would proceed with alice still standing in the middle of all of the chaos around her. her book is still open in her hands. she is our narrator.

my next major point of change would be with down the hole. the bunker kids changing into their wonderland forms would be more clear, and would feature more dramatic onstage quick changes during each of their respective verses or lines. instead of alice twirling into her blue dress, she manipulates the rest of the cast into changing themselves. i don’t think alice would change into her blue dress until alfred sings his “down and down we fall” verse. alfred would playfully remind her to change herself, too. they’re best friends and have played this game countless times and we need to show it onstage. also i think alfred deserves to wear rabbit ears. that’s all.

an alternative decision would be alice starting the show in her blue dress in order to represent how she’s constantly with “[her] head in wonderland.”

i think mcc didn’t do enough with still. a bit of a spoiler for later is that i really want to keep the lobster dance, or at least something similar to it. however, i’d introduce it in still rather than in those long eyes. i’d introduce it as an overarching theme of their relationship. just like wonderland, the lobster dance is something they do quite often; often enough for alfred to know how to do it even when he isn’t fully paying attention. in still, alfred would still try to be evading the discussion and escape alice’s grasp, but she’d try and do their dance together. they don’t finish the dance before the end of the song.

the only major change i would make to chillin the regrets is i’d have the caterpillars lay down more for the scene before. they can get up and do fun choreo with alice afterwards (during the song) but i think she should work more for the attention they give her (during the scene), like alice has to in the original story. they should definitely be more apathetic towards her at first. i’d also like to introduce some sort of dance motif in chillin that alice echoes to alfred in the key is when she tries to get him to smoke. in chillin, i also think it would be cool if there was a smoke machine onstage making the stage as foggy as alice’s head is. if she as our narrator doesn’t know what’s going on, how are we supposed to? i think the smoke can fade for the key is, because we actually need to see that one for the plot, but i think even so there could be some sort of playing with shadows and silhouettes that would be really cool.

i think the bird scene would be really fun with puppetry! the puppets could be made out of items that would only be found in the bunker, like the same fabric the cots are made of, buttons that match the ones on the characters’ clothes, and the gas mask beaks. the birds would just be so much fun as puppets. skipping ahead a bit here, but i also think the duchess in manage your flamingo should have a pig puppet to reference the original a bit more closely.

as mentioned earlier, those long eyes would have a dance motif that would continue throughout the show, and i think while the dance in those long eyes lasted longer than it did in still, it still should be cut off by the sirens and shouldn’t be complete. alice still doesn’t have closure for their relationship by this point, so the dance shouldn’t either.

for most of the show, the cheshire puss should be hooded and perched on an upper platform whenever shes giving alice advice. when alice wont listen to her, she finally snaps and sings some things fall away. she gets on alice’s level and finally reveals her face.

i don’t have many more specific ideas until the end because most of the songs in the middle chunk of the show are just alice running around wonderland and i’m not a choreographer so i’m not really sure what i’d do exactly with these. but i do want to bring up the jabberwocky. i’m obsessed with what mcc does by making alice’s fear of the doctor and the soldiers physical, but i think we could take brillig braellig as an opportunity to bring back the puppets. i think it could be an entirely dark stage except for alice and the jabberwocky. the jabberwocky can be made entirely of white fabric and have images of war and alice’s other fears and traumas projected onto him. the stage can be lit from below so we get some interesting shadows. if we want to incorporate something like mcc did with butridge literally being the jabberwocky, he can be dressed in all white as well and have the puppet follow him around the stage to have more physical interaction with alice. in this scene, i imagine the puppet being pretty big so the ensemble’s place onstage would be helping in puppeteering so the stage would feel emptier than it actually is.

i’m obsessed with the falling rose petals and the coughing before another room in your head in mcc but i think that part could really benefit from some modifications. instead of them being in an empty stage, i think there could be a carpet of white roses beneath them and soap blood could literally come from alfred all over them and all over him. the roses aren’t the only roses in that scene.

in i’ve shrunk enough, i think it would be cool for the characters to go up in a puff of smoke and exit out of a trap door in the stage when alice poofs them out of existence. alice should be the only one poofing everyone away, as she is our narrator. i also think there could be a moment where alfred quickly runs backstage and changes back into his original hospital gown for the final scenes. (in terms of logistics i think the hospital gown could stay beneath his white rabbit costume so he’s able to more quickly change). when he returns onstage, it should be the end of the song. in the vassar reading, at the end of i’ve shrunk enough, alfred says “time’s up” after the final notes of the song. i would want to bring that back. alfred says it as he returns onstage, and the lighting suddenly shifts to two spotlights — one on alice and one on alfred — that merge as the two get closer throughout the next scene.

in afternoon, we bring back the lobster dance. this should be the only time the dance comes to a close. alice isn’t ready for alfred to die, but she’s a hell of a lot more ready than she was during still. she can continue doing the dance by herself after alfred leaves.

after alfred leaves the stage, alice also picks up the book. throughout the show it was probably left downstage in one of the corners of the stage, so here alice picks it back up and finishes it on alfred’s cot. the spotlight follows and doesn’t disperse to reveal the rest of the ensemble until the final notes of the song when alice finally closes the book.

throughout winter blooms, the characters should dismantle the bunker like they brought it on in the beginning. they each change into their wonderland costumes once again (or at least bits and pieces of them, since winter blooms is a pretty quick song, but i doubt their wonderland costumes are too drastically different from their bunker costumes regardless) throughout the rest of the song. at the very end, i’d have alice come centerstage once more, standing in the same place she was during alfred’s death. she’d sing to an empty stage, for the most part, until her final “and there you are.” alfred comes onstage (whether he comes onstage himself or he’s brought up through the stage on a lift or a turntable, i don’t know) in his white rabbit costume once again, and alice pulls him into an embrace as the stage fades to black once more.

#can u tell ive thought about this a lot #alice by heart #answered #anon #this wasn’t proofread sorry if it’s bad

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ducktracy · 4 years

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176. porky’s garden (1937)

release date: september 11th, 1937

series: looney tunes

director: tex avery

starring: mel blanc (porky, chickens), george humbert (neighbor), earle hodgins (salesman)

this would be tex avery’s final black and white cartoon until 1941, and his second to last porky cartoon. how time flies! i enjoy his porky entries a lot. the blow out, the village smithy, and of course porky’s duck hunt are all shorts of his that i find myself coming back to frequently. but, of course, greater tex cartoons lie ahead. interestingly enough, this is also the second and final credit for animator elmer wait, who passed away in july of 1937. chuck jones once described him as “a fine young assistant animator who died too young." i’ve heard speculation that tex’s little-known character elmer fudd was named in wait’s honor--i’m not sure if it was that, or the fact that every other cartoon character in the 1930′s was named elmer, but this is a claim i can find myself believing with more conviction than other animation claims. for now, we visit farmer porky, who’s eager to enter the local contest for the largest home grown product. however, his stereotypical italian neighbor seeks to out-perform him at any cost.

this cartoon is a peculiar anomaly in the tex avery-verse, in that it feels much more like the 1936 avery porky cartoons than the 1937 bunch—and almost deliberately, too. the cartoon starts off very similarly to his first directorial entry, gold diggers of ‘49, laying out the time (1927), the place (podunk center), and the population 500 502 — mrs. castle bottom just had twins!). though tex would constantly reuse gags all throughout his career (and quite well, often elevating the hyperactivity of the gag), it’s rather uncharacteristic for him to reuse a gag for nostalgic purposes. nevertheless, the opening is amusing, and faster paced than its facsimile over at gold diggers of ‘49. the sound of the baby wail as the 500 is replaced with 502 is an extra bonus.

a sign gag featuring the tried and true income tax gag (which has been used, and will continue to be used, in a number of cartoons--tex’s milk and money is another porky entry that uses this gag):

porky is amongst the group crowding around the sign, joyfully declaring that he’s going to win first prize with his garden. cue the antagonist of the picture, porky’s curious italian neighbor, voiced by george humbert. humbert was an italian actor, starring in a large number of hollywood films throughout the ‘30′s and ‘40′s. if i recall, bob clampett once mentioned that tex would go to the movies to get ideas, no doubt his reasoning for getting humbert to do the cartoon. humbert’s vocals shine and add a lot of vitality to this otherwise tame entry. speaking of, italian neighbor is quick to contradict porky: “ohohohoho no, i gonna ween with my cheeken!” with that, he leapfrogs over porky, who is quick to bumble along after him.

we get a brief overhead shot of the two neighbors and their respective houses, the overhead shot once again calling back to earlier porky entries such as milk and money. the competitors both go to their gardens to out-perform the other. cue a short gardening sequence with porky, who uses his straightened out tail to dig holes in the soil, big enough to drop seeds in. his neighbor, on the other hand, concocts a meal full of vitamins and tonics for his chickens cheekens, narrating all the way. the underscore is a stalling favorite, “chicken reel”, and if my memory is correct, i BELIEVE this is the first instance it’s used in a warner bros. short? cue a seemingly arbitrary cut back to porky, who finishes the job of planting. back to the neighbor who summons his chickens to eat his mystery feed of who-knows-what. the chickens dig in... only to halt, spit out the food, and hold their noses (beaks) in disgust. great timing--the drawings especially of the chickens rejecting the food feel quite avery-esque, which is nice: it’s always nice to feel the personal touches of the director.

cut back to porky, a cue of “carolina in the morning” (which is impossible for me to hear without thinking of daffy kaye’s rendition of it in the anomaly that is book revue) underscoring his plan to use hair growth tonic as a means of growing a quick, hearty, full harvest. the scene is cute, yet sluggish--if the cartoon were made even 5 years later, it would have been twice as fast, if not more so. nevertheless, his plan works: the ground shakes beneath him, and crops as tall as the eye can see spurt out from the soil. satisfied, old pigdonald strolls inside, “uh-veh-vuh-vo-do-de-oh”ing and “uh-uh-eh-beh-beh-boop-de-oop”ing all the way along (to remind our audience that this cartoon takes place in 1927--because, why not, right?)

meanwhile, pesky neighbor pops his head over the fence, equally as impressed with the results as porky. perfect food to fatten up the cheekens! the animation of the neighbor is rich and full, humbert’s vocals of course magnifying the quality. with that, the neighbor loosens up one of the boards in the fence, sparking the feeding frenzy: “come an’ get it!”

the chickens do just that. calling back to the days of porky the rain-maker (where there were vegetable gags galore), we get a montage of semi-amusing “chickens eating vegetables in creative ways” gags. one chicken uses a tomato vine as a straw, sucking out the pulp from all of the tomatoes connected. another rolls a line of peas straight into its mouth, rolling up the shell like a toothpaste tube.

though the gags rouse polite chuckles at most today, the most uproarious gag is the last one: a chicken and a baby chick fight over a watermelon. big cheeken asserts its authority by flicking the baby chick away, spouting tearful insults at the bully chicken. just then, fortune: the chick spots a patch of spinach, the seeds belonging to jones (yes, that chuck jones--whose birthday is today! happy birthday, chuck!) garden company. i can’t say this with staunch certainty, but i do have reason to believe that this cartoon was backlogged for a few months: chuck jones would have been at bob clampett’s unit during the time of this cartoon’s release, but the allusion to his name, the animation of this scene looking peculiarly reminiscent of bob clampett’s animation, and the lack of irv spence animation leads me to believe as such. nevertheless, as you may be able to surmise, the chick transforms into a caricature of popeye, complete with jack mercer-esque mumblings and popeye speak. the newly transformed chick socks the chicken right in the face, usurping the half-eaten watermelon slice and gobbling it down all in one go. easily the highlight of the cartoon, and a gag that can be appreciated regardless of time period.

one last eating gag of a chicken plucking a ripe worm from an apple (fittingly scored to “in the shade of the old apple tree”). the joke suffers from constipated timing, more on the part of carl stalling than the animator. there is a nice, quick, shiver take as the chicken attempts to rip the apple open into two halves. fade out.

fade back in on the feeding frenzy. porky takes notice, and is not happy about it. he does a lumbering, quick little run that calls back to the 1936 porky entries where he was much more short and squat (virgil ross animation?), zooming out of screen, then back in again to retrieve a nearby broom. porky swats the chickens frantically, but to no avail: despite his angry demands for them to get out, they continue to eat.

virgil ross animates the next scene as porky confronts his neighbor: “hey, n-nn-ne-neighbor, eh-teh-teh-tell your cheh-cheh-cheh-chi-chickens to keep outta my uh-geh-eh-geh-eh-geh-garden!” the neighbor complies, his vocals hilariously disingenuous as he haggles with the chickens, who, predictably ignore him. thus sparks an overly-profuse string of excuses from the neighbor, who doth protest too much. “you see? i talk to them! but a-they don’t listen to me!” he pauses. “i’m too sorry for you.” another pause, just as we think he’s finished. “...but i cannot talk-a cheeken talk!” one more pause. “i can no make-a the cheeken coming out!”

neighbor finally leaves the disgruntled pig to his own devices, laughing as he talks to the audience. “eet’za too bad...” he looks at the audience and gives them a knowing wink as he finishes “but not too bad!” overall, a great scene. humbert’s vocals are divine, as is the comedic timing. porky’s befuddlement by the rapid-fire responses from his neighbor is another plus.

back to a downtrodden porky, who mournfully sulks along to a succinctly timed rendition of “am i blue?” (if you listen closely, you can hear the beats lining up exactly with his footsteps.) suddenly, a thick vine growing out of the patch catches his eye. he follows the vine, pulling it like a rope...

and the perfect solution awaits on the other side of the fence: a giant pumpkin! perfect for the harvest contest.

porky lugs his new prize out from the fence, which instantly attracts the attention of the hungry chickens. spark the ever transformative avery moment, where the cartoon halts to make a big production out of nowhere--in this case, football. the favorite “freddy the freshman” score serves as the backing track of the makeshift football game as the chickens line up to take position: “HIKE!”

the next sequence appears to be animated by chuck jones: porky runs long, pumpkin in hand as he swats away the oncoming rush of chickens. the extra touches of making porky do some twirls and swivels as he attempts to maintain balance are not taken for granted. a nice straight-ahead shot of the football field turned garden, with a trellis in the foreground and clothesline in the background to form goal posts--very clever!

it’s not the chickens who serve as porky’s pumpkin demise, but rather a spare crate left on the ground. porky trips, horrified as he watches his pumpkin launch into the air and across the yard. we get a tashlin-esque concealed pan as porky darts through his house to retrieve his prize, the action obscured: we only see a brief glimpse of the house’s facade, the drumroll and sound effect of the airborne pumpkin being our only indicator to the success of the stunt. thankfully, porky shuffles out of the other end just in time to catch his pumpkin (topped off with a triumphant “ta-da!” fanfare.) wasting no more time, porky dashes down the road and off to the fair. meanwhile, the neighbor’s chickens are all plumped up, ready to win the first-a prize.

“the merry go round broke down” scores the scenes at the fair as we catch our hero bumbling along with his prize pumpkin into the fair, neighbor and cheekens not far behind. there’s a line of posters advertising the various attractions at the fair, including a caricature of bobe cannon (once more reinforcing the idea that this cartoon was back-logged: he would have been at the clampett unit by the time of the cartoon’s release.)

earle hodgins voices the salesman (a specialty of his--he played the pill-peddling salesman in porky the rain-maker, as well as the oil huckster honest john in get rich quick porky) peddling the miracle “reducing pills”. his test subject? an elephant. the salesman pops a pill in the elephant’s mouth, who stares at the audience nonplussed as he shrinks to the size of a mouse... literally.

the next scene of the salesman is great, as it’s full of energy, zaniness, and fervor. i wonder if it’s a clampett scene? the voice of the salesman rises into astronomical pitch as he describes the size of “teensy, weensy, weensy, bitsy, weensy, teeny little mouse”, capping it all off with a flamboyant “WOO!” and pose. the pose looks similar to the same one struck by daffy in clampett’s entry the henpecked duck 4 years later, hence my reasoning. nevertheless, a great scene of zany eye candy.

peddling his wares, the salesman accidentally knocks over a spare bottle of reducing pills, right in the trajectory of the passing cheekens. and, predictably, the cheekens devour the pills in no-time.

cue a rather blunt cut to porky, who’s about to receive first prize for his pumpkin, standing on stage and politely soaking in the glory. just as the judge reaches to give him his dough, he halts, spotting the ginormous array of poultry behind the pig. the judge is quick to take back his bag of money, much to the awe of porky (which also gives us this intriguing little error for a few frames). neighbor accepts the bag--that is, until the pills kick in. the chickens revert back to the size of chicks, and there’s just enough comedic pause to let the joke sink in before the chicks revert back to mere eggs.

we iris out--or so we think. just another declaration of tex’s love of playing with the iris out gags. that is one steamed ham.

not the snappiest entry in the avery repertoire, but not exceedingly dull, either. george humbert steals the show with his acting, and the popeye gag with the chick is wonderfully amusing. the cartoon mainly suffers from sluggish pacing in some parts, tired gags in others, but not enough to exclude a watch-through. it’s a fond look back at the earlier days of tex’s directing, and asserts just how far the cartoons have yet to improve. so, for that, i’d say i’m relatively neutral on whether or not to persuade you to watch it: the porky lover in me and ‘30′s cartoon lover in me say go for it! there are bits of greatness that you should definitely seek out. but it won’t kill you to skip this one either.

here’s the link! (excuse the butchered titles/credits: opening title music is the merry go round broke down which is wrong, and the title card music is the opening to porky’s tire trouble--also wrong, as is the porky “that’s all, folks!” ending over the written script)

#lt #looney tunes #porky’s garden #reviews #long post #avery

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megamanxfanfics · 3 years

Text

S.VI - Ep.12: Grand Design

-------------------------------------------------------------------- INT. FALLEN COLONY – Lab Sites - NIGHT

--------------------------------------------------------------------

-Fade in-

Gate stares at his monitor in fear. Zero has just defeated Blaze Phoenix and X has destroyed another Nightmare Portal.

GATE: (panicking) This is.. horrible! Not only is he back, but he’s made short work of Infinity Flea and Blaze Phoenix like they were nothing!! How…? How did he get so strong??

Isoc steps into the room.

ISOC: That would be the Nightmare’s doing.

GATE: (gasping) Isoc!

ISOC: (shrugging, acceptant) He did create it after all…

GATE: We created it!

ISOC: His Virus was the source. You know that better than anyone…

GATE: Hmph…. How are you so.. nonchalant about all this? Aren’t you afraid that he’ll come after us??

ISOC: (grinning) Oh no… I have a theory.

[INSERT TITLE CARD - Grand Design]

--------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. MAGMA AREA – Blaze Phoenix’s Lair - DAY

--------------------------------------------------------------------

X nods to Zero, ready to beam out and go home.

ZERO: Wait, before we go…

He spots a green Nightmare Soul left behind from Blaze Phoenix’s core and grabs it. Zero absorbs the power into his own core as his eyes glow orange for a second.

ZERO: We can’t let these fall into the wrong hands.

X: (nodding) Right!

Zero takes another second to walk over to the fallen Phoenix and rips out the weapon chip from his decaying core.

ZERO: …There. Now we can go.

The two share a smirk before teleporting home.

-cut to-

--------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. MHHQ BUNKER – Control Area – DAY

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The triumphant battle-weary heros appear in the middle of the room, by Signas’ console. They are both war-torn, but otherwise fine.

SIGNAS: Nice work, you two!!

ZERO: (nodding) Thanks, boss.

X: (saluting) Sir…

They both wearily nod and salute him as they walk over to Alia’s Console. On their way over to her, Zero looks at X with respect.

ZERO: Here, /catch.

He /throws the enemy’s weapon chip at X, which surprises him.

X, /catches it with a mild smile on his face.

X: Huh? /Oh… Actually, I’ve got something for you too..

ZERO: Hm?

He fumbles around in his compartment belt and returns the gesture by /throwing him the new Sub-tank he just found.

X: Here…. /catch.

Zero catches it and looks at the gift with gratitude.

Once at her console, Alia turns around with a satisfied smile.

ALIA: Very good, Gentlemen. Now that you’re back… Let’s debrief!

Zero rolls his eyes.

ZERO: Always with the debriefing…

Alia looks at Zero, annoyed.

ALIA: Uhh, Yeah we’re debriefing… It’s called - Doing My Job? Hellooo!

X: (beaming, amused) Ahahahaahah.

Zero shakes his head and cracks half of a smile.

ZERO: (smirking,) …Alriiight, alriiiight ya got me…

Mid-laughter X suddenly panics.

X: Oh no! Wait!! What about that Reploid? I completely forgot about him.

ALIA: Don’t worry. When you came back from the Pocket Dimension, another Reploid appeared at the Settlement. That must have been him.

X: (relieved) Okay, good.

ALIA: Speaking of which, who was in that Portal?

X: You’re not gonna believe this. It was Vile.

ALIA & ZERO: What!?

X: I don’t know…. He didn’t seem real. Someone must be messing with me.

ZERO: Well that’s gotta be the Nightmare at work…

X: Even less-so. Your Nightmare Counterpart had that Purple Virus Color we both love so much. This one was more of a faded blueish gray. He was also very weak.

ZERO: Well, maybe that means that the Virus is wearing off!

The two look at him, spooked.

ZERO: N-Nightmare Energy…. Whatever this is!

Alia walks over to X and.

ALIA: Hmm, well that’s another mystery we’ll have to figure out later. As for this power set…

She takes the new chip and walks it over to her computer.

ALIA: This, we can examine!

She runs an analytics test. The monitor displays a grid-like image of a generic reploid figure swiping a burning saber.

ALIA: It looks like you got Magma Blade! Good job!! It emits a wide-ranged blade of fireballs from a Saber.

X shakes his head.

X: It’s unearned… You should use it, Zero.

Zero shakes his head.

ZERO: No need. I’ve learned how to use his Shoenzan from our battle!

With a quick diagonal swipe, Zero shows them a new menacing saber, engulfed in flames. He creates a short wall of fire, similar to Blaze Phoenix’s winged fire-clap, but more contained.

DOUGLAS: (nervous, troubled) HEEY, EASY!!

Douglas runs over to them from his Console, worried and annoyed.

Zero extinguishes the flame just as soon as he creates it and sheathes the saber into his back.

DOUGLAS: Could you not do that indoors, please? I spent a long time making this place operational…

ZERO: Relax, Doug. I’ve got it under control…

DOUGLAS: (muttering) Hmph…. wreckless..

X and Alia both look each other wide-eyed for a second. Then they both choose to shake their heads and move on.

ALIA: U-uh anyway…. I should give you some more background on Blaze Phoenix before we close his file.

X: Yes, let’s proceed.

X gives Zero a disapproving glare for a second.

ALIA: Blaze Phoenix was an Ex-Investigator of the Earth’s Hot Spots. His ability was far beyond any of the other members on our Team. Even Turtloid couldn’t examine these climates, but Phoenix was our solution. He could research any area that was dangerously hot without fear, but the problem was that his teammates couldn’t keep up. During the Great Repliforce War, his Team had investigated Burn Dino-Rex at the Sunhouse Mountain long before you, Zero…

ZERO: (shocked) Really!!?

-FLASH-

—————————————————————————- INT. SUNHOUSE MOUNTAIN – Deep Pit – DAY —————————————————————————-

Blaze Phoenix leads the way with an eager grin on his face as a fantastic wave of flames surrounds his entire body.

ALIA: (v.o, narrating) Yes. His team made it as far as the Lava Tunnels. Do you remember that?

Far behind the flames, Allen, Glen and Ron struggle to keep up as their bodies are perspiring from the intense levels of heat in the pit.

ZERO: (v.o, reacting) Oh my God, I hated that…

The whole area begins to rumble. The giant tunnel shakes as rocks can be heard crashing down beneath them.

ALIA: (v.o, narrating) So did they…

RON: What the-?

A Researcher turns around and widens his gaze immediately at a huge stream of lava, as tall as the entire tunnel around them.

RON: Oh God!!

2 others turn around, frightened to see the huge wall of lava coming for them.

RESEARCHERS: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The wave engulfs all three of them entirely. Their bodies disintegrate instantly upon contact.

ALIA: (v.o, narrating) All the others who fell behind died needlessly...

From far ahead, Blaze Phoenix crashes through a wall with an aura of flame around him. He barely hears the faint sound of screaming, which makes him only slightly turn his head.

Then, he notices a giant wall of lava headed straight for him.

BLAZE PHOENIX: Hm!?

-Fade to Orange-

Upon an orange background, she narrates.

ALIA: (v.o, narrating) When he came home, he was punished and thrown into quarantine.

-dissolve to-

————————————————————— INT. LAYE LABS – Probation Bunker – NIGHT —————————————————————

A charred and recovering Blaze Phoenix rests in a chamber that is only slightly comfier than a jail cell.

ALIA: (v.o, narrating) Ultimately, it was decided that in order to prevent any more victims from getting hurt, he would be disposed of and buried deep underground.

His cell door opens as he continues to sleep on a bench.

ZERO: (v.o, responding) How…?

A Reploid with a large cannon in hand walks up to him and places the weapon directly into his open beak.

ALIA: (v.o, narrating) Boulder Gun to the mouth while he was sleeping…. It got ugly…

-flash-

A large boulder is generated from the weapon, instantly crushing Blaze Phoenix’s skull from the inside. Blood spurts all across the wall and onto Victor’s chest, who shakes it off and wipes his weapon clean.

-FLASH-

--------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. MHHQ BUNKER – Control Area – DAY

--------------------------------------------------------------------

X and Zero look at Alia horrified.

X: Whoaaa!

ZERO: Brutal…. No wonder Gate lost it…

ALIA: Hmph. It’s really hard to tell who was right in hindsight…. But he was definitely dealt an unfair hand. Ugh, God that place was so toxic…

Alia winces and looks down with a hard feeling of guilt.

X: Heeeeey. You okay??

He immediately walks up to her and puts two comforting hands on her shoulders.

With tightly closed eyes she nods and sniffles it off, trying to maintain her composure.

ALIA: Yeah, I… I’m fine. It’s just a lot.

X: I know hun. We’ve all been through a lot…

He places a loving forehead against hers and they both take a slow deep breath together.

ZERO: Uhhhhh, is this still part of the debrief…?

Alia looks at X and grits her teeth. Then she takes a breath and looks at Zero with a sly simper.

ALIA: Hmph… ya got me.

ZERO: If I didn’t know any better… It looks like X, has got you. Hey, are you two…?

ALIA: That’s None of your Business!!!!

X blushes.

ZERO: Oh-o Maaaan! Woooooooow. I really Did miss a lot while I was out.

X: Come on, Man. That’s enough.

ALIA: Alriiiiiight, alright. Let’s keep it Professional. We’re done here.

ZERO: Hahahahaha, okaay…

X gives Zero two side-eyes with a half-grimace, feeling embarrassed.

Alia pets her hair and smirks at them with a slight blush.

ALIA: (grinning, smug) You both look like hot garbage. Get cleaned up and spend the night in the Settlement. I think it’ll be good for both of you.

ZERO: (confused) Huh?

X: (smiling, thoughtful) Hm.

-cut to-

--------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. FALLEN COLONY – Lab Sites – NIGHT

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Gate and Isoc continue their troublesome discussion.

GATE: So what are we supposed to do now… just wait until he miraculously comes around? I don’t think that’s a very sound idea.

ISOC: We’ll follow through with the Contingency Plan until such events fall into our favor.

GATE: That’s crazy! It’s not working!! Dynamo is unreliable and that Resurrection was too weak!! What the Hell was that???

ISOC: …Something to keep X busy, like you asked…

GATE: Hrrrgh, it’s not good enough!

ISOC: I’ll get Dynamo to come around. Don’t worry.

GATE: (panicking) How can I not!?? Zero suddenly came back, stronger than ever and he’s tearing this whole thing apart!!!

Isoc hides a wicked smile and takes a breath.

ISOC: I know it may seem Counter-Intuitive, but the more he consumes the Nightmare, the better off we are.

GATE: (frustrated) How!? It will only make him stronger!!

ISOC: Yes. And then he’ll become an Omega-Level threat once again. X and the Public will turn on him. They will force his hand and once he Finally crosses that line… Then, my friend… he will see that our visions are aligned.

Gate looks at him wide-eyed.

GATE: You’re a Mad Man. You’re putting a lot of faith into a hypothesis that we don’t even know is feasible!

ISOC: Oh, it’s possible. I know how he thinks…. And when he’s backed into a corner, he will cut through anyone. Even his closest of friends.

GATE: That’s a very dangerous game you’re playing…

Isoc makes an evil grin. Gate shakes his head.

GATE: No, I have a much better idea. It’s time to tip the scale in my favor…. It’s time to send in High Max.

-cut to-

--------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. HEXAGON STATION – Reploid Settlement – NIGHT

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Zero walks with X down the main steps of the reformed Train Station. It is now a Recovery Hub for Homeless and Injured Reploids.

ZERO: So this is the Reploid Settlement..?

X nods.

X: Yeah. It got really scary out there after your Shuttle Mission had… failed.

Zero frowns and looks away.

X: Local Mavericks turned up from around every corner and a lot of sacrifices were made…

X clears his throat.

X: But that was a while ago, already. Once we got a semblance of control to the city, we noticed that the survivors naturally flocked over to here. So, we decided to help them as best as we could.

ZERO: That’s really great, man.

X nods and smiles.

X: (proud) This… is who we fight for. It’s a constant reminder that we need to get back out there and do better. Every day.

Zero looks at X, stunned. Once again, he has done a lot of growing up in his absence.

Just then, a cute reploid that shares X’s likeness in blue armor walks up to them.

LEVY: Hey, X!! I was wondering when you’d grace us with your presence again.

She gives him a hug.

X: Eh heh heh.. Hey, Lev. How’ve you been holding up?

LEVY: Really good. Your friends are awesome! Especially that new Fire Guy.

She thumbs over to Fef, who is mingling with Kassy, Regina, Iso, Data and Araki.

X: (smiling) Glad to see everyone’s getting along…

LEVY: Oh yeah. I’ve been training with the others and everyone’s been /really /Welcoming.

She /punches the /air with both fists in a cute way while making eyes at him. Zero gives her and X a strange look.

LEVY: (flirty) Any chance, we’ll get to spar again soon???

X: Ahh.. n-no. We’re just here to recover and catch up for the night. But now that we’ve got Zero back, maybe the two of you could-

LEVY: Hmph! Passing me off to the Nightmare!? I know who you are…. You’re the one who caused this whole mess!! Under normal circumstances, it’d be an honor, but frankly… you can go to Hell.

She walks off in a huff.

Zero looks at X and rolls his eyes.

ZERO: So much for getting along……

They both walk on towards Lifesaver’s Med Car.

X: Ah, don’t listen to her. She’ll come around.

When they pass by Fef’s group, the reploids all look at Zero in awe and fear.

ZERO: I don’t really care, if I’m honest…. I just want to get better and get back out there.

X frowns as they make it to Lifesaver’s car.

-pan to-

-------------------------------------------------------------------- INT. REPLOID SETTLEMENT – Med Cars – NIGHT --------------------------------------------------------------------

X and Zero step inside the car to see Hanse and Hal sitting with the charred Tekk. Lifesaver is tending to him.

HANSE & HAL: (nervous, scared) Ah-hh… Z-z-Zero!!

X: (annoyed) Relax, guys. He’s with me. He’s on our side…

Zero folds his arms and turns his back to them in a huff. They instantly see his burn marks from the Magma Area.

Tekk tilts his head and smiles at Zero.

TEKK: H..h-hey.. Zzeerroooo…

ZERO: Save your strength, Tekk. You’re no good to us, dead.

TEKK: (nodding, weak) rr..riigghhht…

He curls up and goes back to sleep.

Lifesaver looks at them with a stern face and walks over to X.

LIFESAVER: Gentlemen… What can I do for you??

X: We need a recovery bunk for the night.

LIFESAVER: Ohhh. Finally taking my advice and giving it a rest, I see. Come on…. Right this way.

He grabs some gear and leads them to another car, internally.

-cut to-

-------------------------------------------------------------------- INT. MED CARS – Recovery Bunk – NIGHT --------------------------------------------------------------------

The wounded legends are led to two padded gurneys, which lie at both walls of the car, across from each other. Lifesaver Prime and two assisting clones set the both of them up with IV wires, energen packs and light sedatives, which will ensure a smooth night without incident.

Zero gives Lifesaver an untrusting look, once stuck with the needle.

LIFESAVER: Oh, don’t worry. It’s a light dose of Repli-tonin. This’ll just take off the edge, so your body can focus on recovering faster. That’s what you want, don’t you?

ZERO: Hmph… I guess.

X: Thank you, Lifesaver.

He smiles at X.

LIFESAVER: Very good. I’ll have a clone check up on you later.

He and the clones exit the car. The last one out, turns off the light and shuts the door, finally leaving them to their privacy.

The glow of their red and blue head gems illuminate in the darkness as X and Zero recover together.

-cut to-

--------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. ABEL CITY – Dynamo’s Apartment – NIGHT

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Dynamo stands by a window and watches over the barren city from high up.

DYNAMO: (v.o, thinking) Man I miss this City! …What have I done? The bustling streets, the unsleeping crowds, the traffic at night…. Tearing it down was a lot of fun, but what was the point? Everything’s so Boring!

Out of nowhere, from a distance, Dynamo can see a faint shadow amongst the night sky flying towards him.

DYNAMO: Hm? What the-??

High Max bursts through his apartment window and grabs him by the neck.

HIGH MAX: I’ve Found You!!!

DYNAMO: AAGgghhkkk…. What the Hell??

He tries to fight back, but is flown into his couch and blasted 4 times at close range.

DYNAMO: AAGHH.

He tries to get up, but is instantly kicked right back down into the couch.

HIGH MAX: Stay down…. I have a message for you from Isoc.

DYNAMO: Ughh, what does He want?? Is he sad that I didn’t return his calls???

HIGH MAX: Hmph…. He wants you to know that you have one more chance to make things right. Otherwise, you can forget about your Payment and the Luxury of Life altogether!

DYNAMO: Agghh…. Tell him, I need more time. X really got me good, last time.

HIGH MAX: Not my problem…

DYNAMO: I’m gonna get stronger… I just need to sleep this off and collect more Nightmare Souls. That’s all. I promise!

HIGH MAX: Hmph…. You have 24 hours…

DYNAMO: O-okay. Thank you!

High Max folds his arms and flies backward out from the window he came in. He threateningly locks eyes with Dynamo the entire time with a stoic grimace.

- Cut to -

--------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. MED CARS – Recovery Bunk - NIGHT

--------------------------------------------------------------------

After a brief period of silence, X turns to his partner.

X: Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you…. How did you get that new saber?

ZERO: I created a new one while I was hiding out.

X: Huh? You’ve never been tech savvy, before..

ZERO: Heh…. When it comes to my stuff, you’ll find that I’m full of surprises.

X: Hm… Where were you all this time, anyway?

ZERO: Well… I don’t remember a lot of it, to be honest. Reserve Processors must have blocked it out until I was safer…. But what I do remember is that by the time I rebuilt my arm and legs, I was hunkered down in a cave somewhere.

X: A cave…? That’s it??

ZERO: Yeah, man. I dunno. I was on the move, constantly roaming around not fully sure of where I was, exactly. I kept looking for.. better parts. I tried to rebuild from scraps… turning junk into… something that could interface with my system.

X gives Zero a look of disbelief.

X: …Uh.. I’m sorry, but… Your story doesn’t add up, Man. Why are you being so secretive…?

ZERO: What do you mean?? I’m not-

X: Come on. After all these years, I know you better than anyone. I can tell when you’re lying to me… which is upsetting. …What is it that you’re hiding??

ZERO: (sighing) Look, the truth is I don’t know…. And it scares me. Honestly, I just remember a cave and having a new saber. I was fully rebuilt with no idea how I got there and no idea where I was.

X: Oh…. Well no need to hide that from me.. Why don’t you trust me?

ZERO: In fairness, you haven’t trusted me for a while. …And I’ve given you no reason to.

X: You always have my back in the Field. That should be reason enough.

ZERO: But it’s really not… Is it?

X: (hesitating) …We don’t need to get into this now…

ZERO: No, we really do. It’s time, Man. Speak your mind…

X: (sighing) Well… you’ve always been a guarded person, which I’ve come to expect over time. But… my Damn Memory plays tricks on me, now...

ZERO: Ever since Dr. Light… found you?

X: Yup. Now I don’t remember which Zero helped me grow up and learn to fight back anymore…. The cocky, headstrong idol or the jaded, corrupt Maverick…

Zero closes his eyes and winces, ashamed.

ZERO: It’s been both, Man. The whole time, I’ve been fighting something.

X tears up.

X: And somehow, I already Know that! And yet it’s news to me, now. Can you imagine how frightening that is??

ZERO: I’ve lived it. How do you think I felt in Antarctica?

X: …You scared the Hell out of me in Antarctica. You weren’t acting like yourself at all.

ZERO: Actually, I was…. All of my inhibitions were gone.

X: Don’t start that up again!

ZERO: (sighing) I don’t Care about the Prophecy anymore, dude. Me sitting here with you should be living proof of that.

X: But now we both know we were designed to kill each other…

ZERO: Fuck that. I don’t care about their Grand Design.

X gasps, relieved as warm tears escape from his eyes. Then, he makes a wry smile.

X: Always fighting against your own Destiny, to the bitter end, huh??

ZERO: (smiling) You know it.

X: So, in that case, I do have to ask this. What’s your End Goal, now? …What are you fighting for…?

ZERO: Come on, do you really have to ask that??

X: I mean it, Zero. If I’m ever going to fully trust you again, I need to know your motives.

ZERO: Ugh. After the Shuttle Mission Failed, I just want a sense of Normalcy… Even if it’s unattainable. Maybe I just want to hurt people for making the World this way. Get some of this frustration out…

X: I’d hate to say it, but I think you made the World this way…

Zero gasps and scowls with a grimace.

ZERO: Is it ‘cause of what that… fan girl said?

X smirks for a second.

X: Who, Levy? No… …Alia told me that your signal still doesn’t read as Data. So… what are you?

Zero shakes his head and takes a breath.

ZERO: It’s just as it was before. This is my Original Data. It’s not Maverick and it’s not even Evil. It’s just… Me.

X: Hmph.

ZERO: Not good enough for you?

X: What about the Nightmare Souls? What are they supposed to be??

ZERO: Well… They’re pieces of my Soul, actually.

X becomes wide-eyed.

X: What!!?

ZERO: I don’t know how they exist… Or even how I exist! But… somehow, the Virus Energy manifested itself into the Nightmare and was contained into these little orbs.

X: Sounds kind of like the Erasure Experiment…

Zero becomes wide-eyed.

ZERO: On steroids.

X: That explains how you’re becoming so powerful, I guess… I’m worried though.

ZERO: About what..?

X: (hypothesizing) You were revived Zero… No doubt about it. But by who…? And for what reason? …If you absorb too many of those Nightmare Souls, I wonder… Will you end up like you did back at the Colony??

ZERO: (scared) I don’t know…

X: Can you contain it this time…?

ZERO: (worried) I don’t know!

X takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

X: Then that’s a problem…

ZERO: When this is all over, I want Lifesaver to do a full work-up on my internals. One way or another, we’re gonna figure this out, Man.

X nods.

X: I like the sound of that.

Zero cringes in pain with a heavy head of guilt.

ZERO: (hurting, guilty) X…. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. Not just Antarctica or Laguz Island. I’m sorry for all of it!

X: (surprised) Zero…

ZERO: (regretful, ruminating) How I acted during the Great Repliforce War, my reckless attack on Dr. Doppler, which nearly got us all killed… All you went through with the X-Hunters for me… and my unconventional field-training methods during the Rebellion, before that! I’m always putting you in danger. All this time, I’ve been pressuring you to do things My Way and-

X: I forgive you…!

ZERO: Huh??

X: Zero, all those experiences helped shape me into who I am today. All the Good and the Bad…. And now that I know I can trust you.. None of it matters anymore. I mean that.

ZERO: But this Nightmare has been killing you…. That’s on me too…

X: (sighing) This Nightmare’s been killing all of us…. But now that you’re here to help, we’re finally starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Now let’s get some rest. We’re gonna have a lot of work to do when we get up.

Zero smiles at his best friend, who closes his eyes and rests with a peaceful face that he hasn’t seen in a while. This causes Zero to let out a deep sigh and close his eyes. Before long, he is lulled to sleep with a more complacent face as well.

ZERO: (v.o, thinking) Maybe… things are gonna turn out alright, this time…

-fade to-

--------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. MHHQ BUNKER - Control Area – DAY

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Caption - December 30th, the next morning.

A well-rested X walks over to Alia’s console with a cheerful smile on his face.

X: Good Morning, Beautiful.

ALIA: Hey there, sunshine!

He gives her a kiss on the lips. She smiles at him and turns back to her monitor.

ALIA: How was your sleep last night? Just what the doctor ordered?

X: And then some! /I feel better than ever.

He /stretches his arm and twists his torso, cricking his neck and looking refreshed.

ALIA: Hehe, good. Where’s Zero??

X: Heheh.. That lug is still sleeping. But that’s fine. It’ll give me time to catch up to him later.

She nods and gives him a thoughtful look.

ALIA: I see. So, you’ve settled it? You seem.. really at Peace today.

X: (smiling) Heh... We discussed just about everything we could last night, and... I guess I’m just really relieved about how it all went. I’m definitely satisfied with the outcome.

She nods and offers a genuine smile.

ALIA: Good! You deserve some Peace of Mind more than anyone else...

X: And what about you...?

ALIA: ...I still might have some reservations, but... if you know that you can trust him, then that’s good enough for me. I trust you...

He gives her a warm, loving smile and holds her hand. They massage each other’s palms for 3 seconds before she pulls away and clears her throat.

ALIA: So where to, today?

X: Inami Temple. It’s beyond time to follow up on the Reploids I left behind…

Alia offers a worried grimace.

ALIA: Okaaaaay. Just be careful.

X: I know…

She pulls up their Mission Select screen, clicks on Rainy Turtloid’s black and white mugshot and punches in the coordinates. In another moment, he teleports away.

-cut to-

--------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. INAMI TREE – Meditation Room - DAY

--------------------------------------------------------------------

X is teleported directly inside the Inami Tree, at the ground level, where a jagged tunnel of spikes can be seen. It is still raining.

In a flash of light, he transforms into his Blade Armor and slowly walks up to the tunnel trap.

X sighs.

X: Here goes nothing…

He crouches down and carefully amplifies the gears within his boots. After a moment of prepping, he launches himself directly through the tunnel, narrowly avoiding the spikes above and below him. In an instant, he bashes into the wall, with his hands out and brakes on his heels. He has made it to the other side. Above him, the ominous portal awaits him.

ALIA: (o.s, filtered) Now, remember. Once you jump through that portal, we’ll lose contact. I won’t be able to see or hear anything from your end until you get back.

X: (nodding) I know…. Here I go!

ALIA: Be carefuuuul!!!!

X jumps into the portal and smiles at the sound of her voice, before suddenly disappearing.

-cut to-

--------------------------------------------------------------------

INT. POCKET DIMENSION – Rainy Entrapment – DAY

--------------------------------------------------------------------

X appears inside the trap from out of thin-air, whereupon he immediately spots a curative platform while getting rained on.

X: Hmph…. Just as I thought. This isn’t the same area.

Just across the way from a similar gap in the room, a Monbando Unit looks at him and smirks.

MONBANDO: Weeeell… Look, who finally decided to show…

X: Hm!?

MONBANDO: I’m afraid you’re a little late, my friend.

Just then, an infected reploid peers out from behind the Mechaniloid. She looks at him, driven with hatred.

X: Oh no!!

MONBANDO: And now it’s time that you Suffer the Consequences!!!

From out of nowhere, three other infected reploids reveal themselves from the platforms below him.

X takes out his saber and breathes heavily.

At once, all 4 Infected Reploids dive after him and he is forced to defend himself.

X: GOD DAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!

Jumping after them, he performs his Double Wave Giga Attack for the first time with regret. All of the Infected Reploids shatter to pieces at once.

-Freeze Frame. Grainy Effect-

#Season VI #Episode 12 #Grand Design #Gate #Isoc #X #Zero #Alia #Signas #Douglas #Maverick Hunters #Rescued Reploids #Lifesaver #High Max #Dynamo #Recovering #Discovering #Rescue Mission #Nightmare Portal

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thebibliomancer · 4 years

Text

Shadows of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 24

Shadows of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because we’ve rescued Gurjin, haven’t we?

Last times on book: Naia’s quest to prove her brother’s innocence has brought her to the Castle of the Crystal where she learns that the castle sucks and the Skeksis are vampires with extra steps. The Hunter lured her to the castle on purpose to drink her and her brother but she jumps out a window with Gurjin and grows her wings at a dramatically appropriate moment. Unable to flee, Gurjin dreamfasts his side of the story to Naia.

Chapter 26

The Hunter catches up.

After dreamlearning what Gurjin’s been through, Naia is in tears. Gurjin hugs her and tells her that she has to gtfo and find Rian and the All-Maudra. He’ll only slow her down and “If it’s my fate to fall in these woods, then I’d rather do it as a hero than a burden.”

Again: this is a respect Gurjin zone.

Naia refuses to leave Gurjin but then the hiding place explodes because of the Hunter, sending the three Gelfling flying in three different directions.

Mal tries grabbing Naia but Kylan basically goes “Hey, you!” and waves his arms and Mal seems to have trouble with focus because he turns to just stare at this long enough that Naia finds a rock and hucks it at the Hunter’s head.

“All Gelfling brought to castle supposed to be saved for Emperor skekSo,” skekMal said. “But skekMal found ways. So gets vliya from Gelfling that come to castle... But maybe not all Gelfling get to castle. Hmm! Ha! One for Emperor? One for skekMal... and tonight, one and one.”

He grinned, sharp uneven teeth glinting in the moonlight as if he expected Naia to commend him for his cleverness.

The Hunter has kind of the energy of the Beast from Over the Garden Wall where he expects you to thank him for screwing you over.

Also, the mechanics of this confuse me. You can’t get essence without the Crystal and without Tek’s lab but its been implied that Mal just sort of eats Gelfling. Does that give you the same life extension? Just eating Gelfling without processing them? Does he try to squeeze the vliya out of them?

You raise so many questions that I don’t want answers to, Mal.

Naia is truly Gurjin’s twin because she decides that if she can save the others by distracting the Hunter, she will. These two, I swear.

“How many of us have you... have you taken?” she asked. “How long have the Skeksis been betraying us? How long have they been feeding us lies, and then... then feeding on our people?”

skekMal tilted his head, then followed the motion with a dizzying sidle as he began to circle her, rolling his neck at the shoulders and fixing her with those ravenous eyes.

“Crystal cracked,” he said. He shrugged, as if they were having anything but a casual conversation. Soft-talk over dinner, more like, but one of them was intent on eating the other. “An accident. Skeksis taking care of it, taking care of Gelfling. How’s Skeksis to protect little Gelfling when Crystal cracked? When growing old? Growing weak? Little sacrifices. Is payment. Is Gelfling purpose.”

Oooooof.

The Skeksis taking off the mask and just going all in on the way they’ve been preying on the Gelfling all along was very memorable in the show but justifying that they needed to do this to protect the Gelfling is a very different kettle.

These are Skeksis who might have accepted Seladon’s attempts at dumb refusing to believe the Skeksis were bad compromises.

They wouldn’t jump quite so immediately to ‘well lets just drink all of them and then ponder what sustainability means after’

Naia, however, reasonably concludes ‘screw this logic’ and charges at the Hunter actually running up his arm like an anime!

It helps to be so small compared to the Skeksis.

She gets on his back and just starts slamming a rock into his skull, breaking his already cracked mask.

Naia grabs a sharp fragment of the mask and rears back to jam it right into his eye.

GEEZ NAIA! You go hard.

But as she’s winding up the attack, the clouds clear from the sky letting some dramatic timely moonlight to shine on the scene and Naia sees a scar on SkekMal’s hand matching one urVa got breaking free of the Cradle-Tree.

She hesitates while trying to work out what this means and SkekMal snatches her off his back.

“Why do you have that scar?” she asked.

“Halfies, halfsies, half and half and halfsies,” skekMal chanted, cracking his beak with a wicked SNAP between each word, spraying droplets of hungry saliva.

SkekMal really is goofier in this take.

Naia connects the weird dots in her head.

“You’re connected,” she gasped. “For every one there is another - you’re connected to urVa... You are one... with him?”

SkekMal reacts to this by waving his arms dramatically and screaming.

“NOT ONE WITH NOTHING!”

So not well.

Then a bola hits SkekMal right in the unmasked face.

THROWN BY KYLAN! CHARACTER ARC OVER! BEST BOY LEARNED TO BOLA!

While Mal is stunned, Naia, Kylan, and Gurjin run for the river. But Mal’s screaming stops and they know that he’s somewhere behind them.

Gurjin gets back to his Gurjining.

“I can’t run. I’m slowing you down. Even if I survived, I’d never be cured. The Skeksis - they won’t be able to find you, if you can just reach Stone-in-the-Wood.”

Naia tries to argue but SkekMal crashes towards them and Kylan drags Naia to hide in the brush while Gurjin stays in the open.

Kylan covers Naia’s mouth so she doesn’t give them away and apologizes to her over and over and over in dreamfast.

Hey, another good use for dreamfasting!

SkekMal demands to know where Naia is and Gurjin will only say that she’s long gone and that Mal will never catch her.

“Lies,” skekMal growled. He crouched down, following the Drenchen, leaning on his fron two arms, spiny hackles on the mantle of his cloak rising like quills. “It lies. skekMal smells ‘em, closer. Closer. What says Gelfling if skekMal snatches it up and eats it here? Gelfling wings comes fluttering out to save it?”

So he does. Just. Eat them. Without draining.

Geez.

“Better not,” Gurjin muttered, shifting his stance. “Rather, Gelfling wings fly her to Ha’rar and tell the All-Maudra about all of this. See how many Gelfling skekMal smells then, eh? Without Gelfling essence? How quickly will skekMal shrivel up and die?”

Respect. Gurjin. Zone.

SkekMal smacks Gurjin into a tree but Gurjin gets back up and laughs in SkekMal’s face.

As much as Naia couldn’t stand to leave him, she knew that if she stayed, his sacrifice would mean nothing. No one would know of the Skeksis’ betrayal if their journey ended here. No one would know that the Crystal was broken, bleeding its despair into the veins that reached every part of the realm of Thra. Her heart broke with the knowing of what she had to do.

To save her people, she had to let go of her brother.

Dangit Gurjin...

Also, Naia is the protagonist but its funny how much this bit of narration from her ignores that Rian is out there knowing of the Skeksis’ betrayal.

‘Rian who?’ - Naia.

Kylan drags an unresistant Naia away from the scene and they escape to the Black River where Tavra’s Landstrider is still waiting.

Just making Naia feel like shit for having to leave Tavra behind.

This isn’t a happy ending for Naia.

Unable to climb as the feeling overwhelmed her, all she could do was cling to the reins as Kylan pulled her up behind him. She couldn’t stop the oncoming tears, pressing her face against Kylan’s back as he shook the reins, and muffling her sobs in the thick hood of his cloak. With an escalating lope, the Landstrider headed off along the riverbank under a sky slowly brightening with the rise of the Three Brothers.

#dark crystal #the Dark Crystal #Shadows of the Dark Crystal #liveblog #Naia #Gurjin #Kylan #SkekMal #the Hunter #one chapter left

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survivorwildwest · 4 years

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Episode 12 - Us and Our Friends

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a jackrabbit finds comfort in some tallgrass.

Ken has woken early and made his way to the town’s campfire. He surveys the campfire and the boulders they’d been using as seats, then the shadows of the few buildings in town and the sun.

“Why are you staring at the sun,” Kass asks as she walks up behind him.

“I’m not. I’m just... checking something,” he says as he turns to her and removes his hand from his brow.

“What are you checking?”

“I’m working on something.”

“That much I gathered.”

He puts his hands firm around the only boulder in the shade. He drops his hips and presses his chest forward as he pushes the boulder from its place. As he tries to move the boulder to its side, the force of his chest pushing forward pops open the top couple buttons of his shirt. The strenuous and sweaty work makes his shirt stick to his back. Once the boulder is sufficiently horizontal, Ken stands up and wipes the beads of sweat from his forehead and removes his shirt. He bends down again and slides his hands under the boulder. His heels dig into the sand as he begins to roll the boulder. The waist of his pants remains stiff, giving just a glimpse of his ass, as he slowly lunges through the sand. Once Ken feels the boulder has been moved far enough from the fire, he turns around to see Lauren approaching from the saloon.

“Good morning, Ken,” she calls.

“Good morning, Lauren,” he says, “I’ll be right back.”

Lauren takes a seat next to Kass and asks, “enjoying the show?”

“I’m certainly not complaining,” she says.

Ken returns shortly after carrying what he’s been building. He places it where the shaded boulder had been.

“I built a bench for us,” he tells them.

“What, when, how,” Kass asks.

“The last few days. We had all these leftover tools and supplies and, you know, I always need something to keep my hands occupied.”

“That much I’ve gathered,” Kass jokes, looking at Lauren.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a tortoise reaches for a flower with his beak.

Colby appears with the day’s tree mail.

“Weight?” Wendy guesses.

“I guess,” Colby says.

At high noon, the final eight meet Jeff in front of the day’s reward challenge. As always, he’s full of smiles standing next to his clydesdale.

“For today’s reward challenge, you will be divided into two teams. Each team will, together, hold a board over their head. Over each person’s head will be a bucket of water. Each bucket weighs one quarter your starting weight. Your hand will be attached to a disc keeping the water in the bucket. If you drop your hand, your bucket will empty and you’ll be out, leaving your teammates to carry your weight. Last team standing wins. Want to know what you’re playing for?”

They all yip and they all yeehaw.

“The winning team will take a trip to a movie theater for a viewing of an American classic set right here in the old west! We’re talking popcorn, soda… air-conditioning and of course... the traditional beans. Worth playing for?”

They all yip and they all yee and darn tootin do they all haw.

“Alright,” Jeff says, “We'll do a schoolyard pick for teams.”

Jeff passes a bag of two black and six white rocks around. They reveal and Jeff announces, “Kass and Jerri, captains once again.”

The two women count one-two-three-shoot to decide who goes first. Jerri’s paper covers Kass’ rock this time. She picks Colby first. Kass takes Ken. Jerri calls Michaela’s name. Kass says Lauren’s. Jerri looks at Wendy, whose smile is so big her whole body vibrates, then to Bi. Jerri drops her head and calls for Bi. Wendy drops her smile and joins Kass’ team.

The two teams stand on platforms set to each of their heights so their buckets can remain level. Jerri takes the first position for the orange team. Standing next to her in the second position is Michaela. Taking the third position is Colby. Bi, standing on the tallest platform of the challenge, takes the end.

Kass takes the first position for the teal team. Ken and Lauren stand in the second and third positions. Wendy rounds them out in the fourth position. Once everyone on their platform, Jeff calls for the challenge to start.

Both teams start strong, unwavering in their support and balance. Jeff begins his narration, “This is a challenge of balance, you don’t want your bucket to tip, but also of trust. If you trust your teammates enough to hold the weight, you can drop out... Eventually, your arms are gonna get sore and you’re gonna try to fight the urge to drop out but maybe you should. If you can communicate, the weight won’t be too much to bear.”

After a few minutes, everyone has closed their eyes and fallen completely silent. Kass eventually speaks up, “How are you guys feeling?”

“I’m good,” Ken tells her.

“I’m good,” Lauren says.

“I’m fine,” Wendy says, her eyes still closed.

“Okay, I’m gonna drop,” Kass says.

“Okay, do it slowly,” Lauren says.

Kass removes her hands from the handles and drops her arms to her sides. The water splashes over her and she exhales “aaaahhh!”

“Feel good,” Jeff asks.

“Oh, I’d recommend they all drop out.”

After another ten minutes, Jerri asks her team how they’re feeling. Michaela gives a simple, “yeah.” Bi says, “You’re good.” Jerri lets her bucket shower her with water and she joins Kass on the bench.

After an hour and ten minutes, Wendy says, “Will you guys be okay if I step out? I feel like I’m gonna pass out.”

“Yeah, go ahead,” Lauren says.

Wendy turns her face upward and drops her hand to take a shower.

“How’s that,” Jeff asks.

“Amazing,” she says.

Bi snarls at the wet Wendy as she walks past.

“Jealous, Bi?”

“It does look nice,” Bi responds.

“You can drop out,” Michaela says. “We’ve got this.”

“No, I’m alright. I’m good.”

“Michaela and Bi negotiating going down to two people,” Jeff narrates, “Ken and Lauren doing the work of four people. Colby, meanwhile, hasn’t said a word this whole challenge. Are you not a fan of my questioning Colby?”

“Don’t need it,” he says without opening his eyes.

“Alright,” Jeff says, “message received.”

“Ken,” Lauren says.

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m gonna…”

“It's okay. I can take it.”

“No, I mean--” she says as she faints and drops her disc.

Ken and Jeff both rush over to make sure she’s okay. The medical team rushes in to check on her. They determine she’s going to be fine. She just passed out. When she comes to, she sees Ken and feels his hand in hers.

“Are you okay,” he asks.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Did we lose?”

“Yeah,” Ken laughs, “I think so.”

“Aw, damn. I really wanted to go see a movie with you.”

“We can go some other time,” he promises.

“I’d like that,” she says as she places an ice pack on her forehead. “Oh, I didn’t even get to feel the water splash on me!”

“Is the ice nice?”

“The ice is nice, yes. Thank you.”

“Of course,” he says.

Jeff turns to the orange team to let them know they’ve won. They all let the water splash over them but with less enthusiasm than they’d hoped for after seeing Lauren pass out.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a trailing four o’clock shakes in the breeze.

Jerri, Colby, Michaela, and Bi ride their horses to a large marquee with pink and green neon lights, alerting anyone within a mile of this dusty, old movie palace. They tie their horses outside the theater and walk in. They take in the scent of the warm film and the popping corn. They each grab a bucket of popcorn and various other treats and drinks. Colby and Jerri take two seats next to each other in the back of the theater, spreading their snacks in the seats around them. Bi and Michaela take the seats in the next row and do the same.

From above, the projector illuminates. The warmth emanating from the bulb is a comfort from the shock of the theater’s air conditioning. The increasing flip of the film roll starting is heard and on the screen before them, they see “Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat Lumière No. 653.” appear in white text on a black screen.

“Oh,” Colby says, “This is that movie where everyone was afraid the train was coming at them.”

The film plays and the screen fades to black, but the whirring of the projector continues. Fireworks burst over a castle, a lamp hops across the screen, then a red car says, “This is Agent Leland Turbo.”

“What is this,” Michaela asks.

Then the title card appears on screen, “Cars 2.”

Everyone bursts into laughter. Colby falls back and raises his knees as he laughs. He slaps his knee, forgetting he’d rested something there, as one does in a movie theater. His hand gets hot and sticky and wet, “Ah,” he shouts as he jumps up from his seat.

Michaela turns around and, seeing the mess Colby’s made yells, “Ha! Colby’s eatin beans!”

Everyone laughs at him as he runs off to the bathroom to clean up.

When he returns, he takes the seat next to Jerri that is not covered in beans. Jerri whispers softly to him, not to interrupt the antics of Lightning McQueen and Mater, “You know we have beans at camp. Why’d you go for the beans?”

“I don’t know, I just like beans. I don’t really like sweets like that,” Colby also whispers, giving John Lassatter’s vision the respect it deserves.

“Aren’t you farting a lot,” Bi turns around and whispers.

“Honestly, no. I haven’t once.”

“What,” Jerri asks, surprised but still whispering.

“I haven’t been able to fart once since this started.”

“That’s weird,” Bi whispers.

“Are you okay,” Jerri whispers.

“What are y’all whispering about,” Michaela asks at full volume.

“We just didn’t want to interrupt the movie,” Jerri explains.

“I don’t give a shit about this movie,” Michaela says, “What’s going on?”

“Colby can’t fart,” Bi tells her.

“Bi,” Colby protests.

“What about all those beans you been eating,” Michaela asks.

“Nothing,” Colby tells her.

“Do you feel sick,” Michaela asks.

“No, I just can’t fart.”

“So, you’re just eating beans for the fun of it,” Bi asks.

“Col-beans,” Michaela calls him.

“Colbeans,” Jerri and Bi both laugh-shout.

Colby just smiles and appreciates they’re all having a good time, despite it being at his expense.

“You know we’re just joshin you, Colbeans,” Michaela says.

“Yes, I am a veteran in this,” he says, looking over at a grinning Jerri.

“You know we love you, buddy,” Jerri tells him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I know,” Colby says, gently resting his hand atop Jerri��s and for a moment they gaze at one another.

“So,” Michaela says, “Should we talk about the final four?”

“I’d be happy with this four,” Bi says.

“I’m on board,” Jerri says.

“Absolutely,” Colby agrees, “I guess the next question is, who are we targeting next tribal?”

“Well, it seems Lauren’s the glue over there,” Bi says.

“Ken’ll be mad,” Michaela says.

“Ken will get over it, then he’ll come running back to us. Wendy and Kass aren’t going to comfort him. We use him to take out Kass, then Wendy, then we take him out and voila we’re the Final Four,” Bi says, putting her hand in the center of the four of them.

“Makes sense to me,” Michaela says, putting her hand on Bi’s.

“Sure,” Jerri says, placing her hand atop Michaela’s.

“Should we come up with a name,” Colby asks, putting his hand in.

“The McQueens,” Bi says, overhearing Mater cheer for his friend Lightning McQueen as he leads the pack around a bend in a canyon.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a river digs away at the land for years on end.

Back in town, Ken and Lauren sit together on the bench he built. Wendy sits on the next closest boulder. Kass pokes an ember with a long stick around the fire.

“So, who’s the next target, Lauren,” Kass asks without making eye contact.

“Oh, I’m not in charge...”

“You’ve got a captive audience right here if you want to present anything,” Kass tells her.

Everyone looks at her expectantly.

She sits up straight and says, “Okay, what about… Colby?”

“Big move,” Ken says.

“But, we could do it. The four of us stay strong. They can put their votes on whoever, as long as they don’t play an idol or anything--”

“What if Colby wins immunity,” Kass asks.

“Then we put all our votes on Jerri.”

“I don’t want to vote for Jerri,” Wendy argues.

“Okay,” Lauren thinks it over, “Bi? Is anyone close with Bi?”

“I’m not worried about her,” Kass says.

“She’s smart,” Lauren says.

“She’s not a jury threat,” Kass explains.

“Ken,” Lauren says, turning her attention toward him, “Would you vote for Michaela?”

“Michaela and I… are close...”

“It might be our only option,” Lauren says, “You need to take her out before she takes you out.”

“I don’t think she’d do that.”

“Are you sure,” Kass asks, “She’s gotten awful close to Colby.”

Ken tilts his head back and forth as he considers Kass and Lauren’s proposal.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a cactus’ bloom wilts under the ceaseless sun.

The McQueens return to town after their viewing of Cars 2. Michaela follows Ken into the saloon. Ken sits at the piano and slowly plays a single note over and over as he droops his head over the keys.

“What’s going on, bud,” Michaela asks, taking a nearby seat.

“They’re coming after you.”

“Who?”

“Lauren and Kass.”

“Are you gonna vote with Lauren?”

“I don’t know. Who are you guys targeting?”

Michaela drops her head in a similar way and says, “Lauren.”

“Aw, man. What?”

“Bi thinks she’s the glue between y’all.”

“Bi thinks she can just take out whoever she wants.”

“What do you think of this? Me, you, and Lauren, plus Jerri and Colby take out Bi right now.”

Ken nods his head back and forth as he thinks it over.

“She’s gonna take everyone out one by one until she makes it to the end. We take her out right now, Kass after that, then Wendy, then it’s us and our friends in the Final Five. We just gotta stay strong.”

“I like the sound of that.”

In a talking head, Ken says, “You know, Michaela’s a smart girl. So, that’s the problem... She’s a huge threat... Good at competitions... She’s a smart chick… It’s a tough game. It’s a really tough game.”

The next morning, Colby hikes through the Mojave Desert with Jerri and Michaela to collect Tree Mail.

“I know we just made a Final Four deal with Bi,” Michaela says, “but I can’t trust her after her taking out Wardog like that.”

“Sure,” Colby says, “That makes sense.”

“You talk to Ken already?”

“Yeah, he’s on board.”

“Let’s hope she doesn’t win immunity,” Colby says.

“Yeah, it’s about time you won one yourself,” Jerri says, slapping Colby’s back.

“I’ll say. It’s been 20 years since I last won one,” Colby says.

“Oh, it’s only been about 9 days for me,” Jerri teases.

“Yeah, it’s been like eleven or twelve for me,” Michaela piles on, “but for real, I need it tonight. They’re coming for me.”

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a rock teeters on the edge of a cliff.

When they return to camp, Michaela stands beside and just behind Colby as he reads the Tree Mail to the tribe around the morning fire.

“Robbery,” Michaela finishes.

Colby assumes the same rhyme and points a finger gun at Michaela.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a train track stretches across miles.

The final eight meet Jeff outside the train station. Jeff wears a conductor’s cap & overalls as he explains the challenge to them.

“This challenge is called The Eight Train Robbery. Each of you will be carrying a sack with you. First, you will have to untie and unlock a briefcase. The key is somewhere inside the train station. Once your briefcase is opened, you are free to take as much cash from it as you want. But, you’ll want to be quick because a train will be coming to town five minutes after the challenge starts. The train will be refueled with coal while stationed here. You have until the engine is filled to get onto the open box car before the train leaves. If the train leaves before you get on, you’re out. Inside the box car, you will find a chest with your name on it. It is locked with a combination lock. Figure out the combination and collect the chest’s contents. Then, climb the ladder. On top of the box car, you will find a dummy that is half your starting weight. Throw the dummy off the top of the train. Once the first person throws their dummy off the train, the train will slow to a stop and the conductor will unlatch the engine from the rest of the train. You have until the engine is completely removed to get your dummy off the top. If you can’t do it in time, you’re out. The rest of you will have the opportunity to run through the train and collect as much cash as you can before the engine leaves again. The first four people on the engine will move on to the next round. The engine will drop them with four horses. They will then race to the finish line. The first three people across the finish line will have their money counted. Whoever collected, and held onto, the most money throughout the challenge, wins immunity and has a one in SEVEN shot at winning this game. I’ll give you a minute to strategize and we’ll get started.”

The final eight contestants stand in front of eight dummies wearing a vest over a puffy white shirt inside the station. The dummy’s ankles are tied together and his hands are tied behind his back. In the dummy’s hands, behind his back, he’s holding a briefcase. Jeff calls for the challenge to begin. They begin untying the knots. Colby drops his dummy on the ground to get a better angle on the knots. The rest of the tribe follows suit after its proved successful. Colby is the first to untie, followed closely by Wendy, then Bi. Colby checks the ankles, but sees nothing. Finally, he notices a box hanging next to the door. He rushes over and reaches inside to find the key with his name. He returns to his dummy, where he left his briefcase. Meanwhile, Wendy and Bi both brought their briefcases with them while retrieving their keys. As soon as hers is open, Bi flips the suitcase over her sack. Bills fly everywhere, many of them not making it into her bag. She doesn’t seem to care as the train is already refueling.

Colby runs into the box car and finds the chest with his name. It’s locked with a combination. He looks around the boxcar for four digits anywhere. Next to him arrives Bi. She sees the combination lock, then immediately looks in her sack. She pulls out a handful of bills and notices they all show the same scene: Pocahontas marrying John Rolfe. Each bill was printed in 1865. Bi inputs 1-8-6-5 and it opens. Inside the chest is more cash. Bi tips the chest into her sack and rushes to the ladder, climbing to the top. Wendy implements a similar strategy. Meanwhile, Colby is taking his time to make sure he gets as much cash as he can before he has to leave. He successfully transfers all the bills that had been carefully placed in the briefcase into his sack.

Meanwhile, Ken, Michaela, Lauren, Jerri and Kass have all begun unlocking their chests when the train begins to slow. Colby has made his way to the top, where he sees Wendy and Bi have both thrown their weight off the top. Colby does the same. Michaela, Jerri and Kass shake as much cash as they can into their sacks and head to the top of the train. Ken and Lauren remain in the boxcar alone as the train slows to a walking speed.

“You need to win this,” Ken says.

“What?”

“They’re gunning for you. Take my money.”

“What? No! You keep it. You can still win this.”

“You’ll have more than anyone else if you take mine,” he says, handing her his open briefcase.

She opens her sack and together they pour all their cash into her burlap sack. She rushes to the ladder and throws her dummy off the roof just as the conductor removes the train from the engine.

The remaining competitors line up behind the caboose. Wearing a conductor’s uniform, Jeff holds his arm in the air and announces, “Survivors ready? Go!”

They rush into the caboose and look around for hidden cash. Bi is the first to realize there’s nothing to find in the caboose and runs into the next car. Colby is quick behind her, followed by everyone else soon after.

In the next car, they find more dummies. Each of them wearing fancy tuxedos and gowns. Those in tuxedos smoke cigars. Those in gowns clutch their rhinestones. Bi opens a purse and dumps its contents into her sack. Colby reaches inside a tuxedo and pulls out a money clip. Kass finds a wallet. Michaela finds a purse with some cash. Wendy runs past and into the next car where she has first dibs of all the dummies. She grabs some cash from various pockets before her competition runs in. She runs off into the next car while everyone searches the dummies for any remaining cash.

Bi is the first, after Wendy, to the next car. Then, Colby, who is followed closely by Jerri. They all rummage through the dummies when Kass and Michaela join them. They all turn their attention to the engine 50 yards ahead. Bi is already almost there. Wendy is nearly halfway. Everyone else races for the final two spots on the engine.

Bi is the first to the engine. Wendy climbs aboard shortly thereafter. Colby takes the third spot. The three of them look over the back of the engine to see Michaela outpacing Jerri, but behind either of them is Lauren. She takes long, quick strides and passes Kass, then Jerri, then, despite being the last out of the train, she passes Michaela and claims the fourth and final spot on the engine. The conductor blows the whistle and the engine moves forward.

The engine stops where four horses wait. Colby, Lauren, Bi, and Wendy take their places in line with their horses. Jeff raises his arm and says, “Survivors ready? Go!”

The four horses are off! Bi takes a quick lead but Colby is determined behind her. He’s sure to not overwhelm his horse and keeps a steady pace. Wendy is close behind, giving her horse clear direction. Lauren falls behind. Her long legs make for an awkward fit on the horse’s back so it's hard to control. Colby’s pacing has worked out and he’s now directly behind Bi and her horse. He drops his shoulders slowly and presses his spurs into his horse’s sides. The horse giddies up and takes first place with just 30 yards remaining. As the finish line draws nearer, he hears the trots of another horse approaching. He quickly glances behind him and sees Wendy and her horse sprinting ahead. They are gaining speed faster than Colby and his horse can. Wendy passes them by and crosses the finish line first. Colby is next to cross soon after, followed closely by Bi. A few seconds later, Lauren crosses the finish line fourth and is eliminated.

The tribe meets again in the train station where Bi, Colby, and Wendy count the money they collected. Bi pulls out all her money, totaling “Ten Thousand and Eighty One dollars,” Jeff tells them.

Wendy empties her sack to the tune of “Twelve Thousand, Four Hundred Eleven Dollars.”

Everyone is shocked and applauds. Bi and Kass both side eye Colby as he looks around nervously. He giggles, certain he hasn’t beaten Wendy for a third time in a row.

“Twelve Thousand, Four Hundred And…” Jeff pauses, “Eighteen Dollars. Colby wins immunity!”

“Oh, man,” Colby says, “you had me going there, Jeff.”

“Congratulations, Colby,” Jeff says as he places the bandolier over Colby’s shoulder.

“Well done,” Michaela says.

Colby points a finger gun at her, winks, and fires.

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a tortoise takes a step.

Back in town, Colby places the bandolier over the bar. He pours himself a whiskey as everyone congratulates him. Bi and Kass take a seat at the bar.

“She almost won again, Colbster,” Kass says.

“Wendy,” he asks.

“That would have been three in a row,” Kass says.

“How long has it been since you won one of those,” Bi asks, nodding up to the bandolier over his shoulder.

“Twenty Years.”

“So, I was like twelve years old the last time you won.”

“Okay, yes, Colby’s old now. What’s your point,” he asks.

“If we don’t take out Wendy now, what’s to stop her from getting to the end and winning. Isn’t that what you did?”

“I did more than just win immunity challenges, Kass.”

“Like, what?”

“I formed strong bonds with the people in the game.”

“You mean like Wendy’s doing,” Kass asks.

Wendy sits on the bench in the shade and plays with an ember in the fire when Ken and Lauren approach and take a seat next to her.

“Hey, Wendy,” Lauren says.

“Hey guys,” Wendy says.

“We’re all still on board for Michaela, right,” Lauren asks.

“Well,” Ken says, “What about Bi?”

“Michaela’s too smart, man,” Lauren says, “We have to take her out now. Before she expects it.”

Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, a ringtail cat crawls across some rocks.

As the moon illuminates the night sky, the final eight ride their horses to tribal council. Jeff approaches the campfire on his clydesdale, followed by the jury on their five akhal-tekes. They align their horses behind the remaining tribe members in a star shape. Jeff begins by asking Colby, “Colby, how long has it been since you’ve held individual immunity at tribal council?”

“Twenty years, Jeff. And I had been on quite the run then.”

“Five in a row,” Kass reminds them.

“That’s gotta be helpful, knowing you're safe so many tribals in a row,” Jeff says.

“Oh sure. Going on an immunity run is incredibly helpful, but that also means there’s a bigger target on you when you’re not immune. It’s a real double-edged sword.”

“Wendy,” Jeff says, “This is the first time you’re not immune in a few tribal councils. Does what Colby said make you nervous for tonight?”

“Oh, nooo. I understand where Colby is coming from, but I think I’ve built enough quality friendships that they don’t want to see me go!”

Jeff doesn’t respond with a followup question. Instead, he just smiles, appreciating Wendy’s exuberance.

“Everybody loves, Wendy, Jeff,” Kass says. “It would be silly to get rid of her.”

“Lauren,” Jeff says, “You made it pretty far in the immunity challenge.”

“I would have won if I’d crossed the finish line in time.”

“You had collected more money?”

“Yeah, Ken helped me a bit in the beginning.”

“Last I heard,” Jeff says, “You two were just friends? Is that still the case?”

“I mean,” Lauren coyly says, “What is a ‘friend’ on Survivor?”

“That’s a good question,” Jeff asks, “What is a friend on Survivor?”

“I think we’re all friends,” Wendy says. “I hope, at least.”

“A friend is someone you can trust implicitly,” Michaela says “in and out of the game.”

“Do you feel there are people in this game you can trust implicitly,” Jeff asks.

“How long have you been doin this show,” Michaela jokes, then, “But really, I do. At least, I hope so. This game, ultimately, is about building relationships.”

“Alright, with that, it is time to vote. Kass, you’re up first.”

Kass makes her way into the cave and casts her vote for Wendy. When she returns to the tribe, Ken makes his way inside, then, Colby. Jerri casts and shows her vote for Bi. Michaela follows her. Bi casts her vote. Lauren casts her vote for Michaela. Wendy makes her vote. Jeff tells them he’ll go tally the votes. When he returns, he says, “If anyone has the hidden immunity idol, and you want to play it, now would be the time to do so.”

Michaela looks around her fellow tribe members, then back to Jeff, who reads the first vote. “Michaela,” he announces. Her head drops.

“Michaela,” Jeff continues.

Michaela looks around, trying to deduce the author of the votes. Jeff reads the third vote, “Michaela.”

Ken’s head drops. Michaela’s brow furrows.

“Bi,” Jeff continues, “Bi, Wendy.”

Wendy’s head darts around as Kass grins.

“Wendy.”

Bi grins and looks over at Colby, who adjusts his hat as he looks at the sand.

Jeff reads the eighth vote, “Wendy.”

“What?!” Jerri and Michaela simultaneously yell, turning to Colby.

“We’re tied. We will revote. Wendy and Michaela will not vote,” Jeff says. He passes the urn to Colby who brings it back into the cave. Colby casts his vote, followed by the other five voters. Jeff tallies the votes and returns to the campfire.

“I’ll read the votes,” he says, “Wendy, Michaela, Wendy, Michaela, We’re Tied. Two votes each.”

Michaela bounces her knee as she stares down Jeff. Wendy grabs Jerri’s hand.

“Wendy,” Jeff reads.

Wendy clutches Jerri’s hand tighter. Jerri wraps her other hand around Wendy’s wrist and runs her thumb over her skin. Michaela has turned her attention to Colby. She stares at him with untrusting, yet hopeful, eyes.

Jeff opens the final vote, “Thirteenth person voted out of Survivor: Wild West and sixth member of the jury, Wendy.”

Jerri hugs Wendy tight as she says goodbye. Wendy grabs her torch and makes her way to Jeff.

“Wendy,” he says, “the tribe has spoken.”

She hugs him and says, “I’m just happy to get to go to Ponderosa this time!”

He laughs and says, “It’s time for you to go.”

Wendy rides her quarter horse toward the horizon as the final seven get back on their horses and head back to town.

“We didn’t need to do all that,” Michaela tells Colby as she gets on her horse.

“I’m sorry.” Colby says genuinely.

“Yeah,” Michaela says, riding off.

Michaela and Jerri voted for Bi on the first vote. Lauren, Ken and Wendy voted for Michaela on the first vote. Bi, Kass and Colby voted for Wendy on the first vote. On the revote, Jerri switched her vote to Wendy.

Read Episode 13 here

#michaela bradshaw #Jerri Manthey #wendy diaz #bi nguyen #ken mcnickle #Lauren O'Connell #colby donaldson #kass mcquillen #survivor #survivor wild west #edge of extinction #david vs goliath #millennials vs gen x #the australian outback

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trashyswitch · 4 years

Text

The Teasy, the Quiet, and the Vulnerable!

Jackieboy Man sees Chase playing FNAF Help Wanted on his VR headset. Marvin is also there, watching the headset's recording on a laptop in the background. Jackie, being the evil guy he is, decides to torment Chase and take advantage of his temporary blindness to reality.

It features some minor spoilers for FNAF: Help Wanted, so a bit of a disclaimer for that. Other than that, I hope you all enjoy!

Chase Brody had turned on his VR Headset, and was playing the game Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted. Marvin was watching the recording action on a laptop in the background.

"I don't know what to pick now! I've done all the main FNAF games once already, and I don't wanna go for the vent levels yet." Chase muttered, currently looking through the different options on the video game.

"What's Parts and Services?" Marvin asked. Chase clicked the right arrow a few more times, allowing the tablet options to circle around again before reaching the options Marvin mentioned.

"Uuuh...I don't know. Wanna try?" Chase asked.

"Yeah! Try it!" Marvin replied.

"Okay." Chase decided. Chase clicked on the first level, and waited for the circle to completely load with 100% pizza in the circle.

Suddenly, the screen faded into black, before instructions showed up on the screen. Then, the instructions faded before revealing the first animatronic.

[Welcome to Parts and Services.] the game narrator said.

Chase just dropped his jaw at the size of the robot.

"You are HUGE! HOW IN THE WORLD- If you were standing on you 2 feet, YOU'D BE TOWERING ME!" Chase reacted.

[First we must access his harmonization module located inside his secondary throat pipe. To access the throat pipe, both eyes must first be removed.] The narrator explained.

Chase's eyes widened. "We're taking it apart?!...I mean that's cool and all, but these things are known for being deadly!" Chase reacted.

"Should've thought about that before buying the game, Chase..." Marvin teased.

"Shut up, ya bystander." Chase shot back at Marvin.

Chase began to focus on removing the first eye. He slowly, carefully, removed it from its eye socket. Success!

Chase let out a sigh of relief.

[Put the left eye in the cleaning receptacle to your left.]

Chase followed the instructions, and dropped it in. As it roared, more dialogue came up:

[Well done. Now firmly grip Bonnie's right eye and remove it from its socket.]

"This is so odd. I'm literally taking an animatronic apart." Chase said as he carefully removed the right eye.

[Deposit the right eye in the cleaning receptacle on your right.]

"Chase followed the guide and dropped it in.

[Good job. To open Bonnie's faceplate carefully, press the two buttons located on either side of Bonnie's jaw. When done correctly, you should hear two small clicks.] The narrator explained.

"Okay." Chase said, reaching his controllers up to the red buttons on either side of the blue jaw. "one..." Chase mumbled, clicking the left button first. "...and-" Chase said, clicking the second button.

Suddenly, a loud opening sound could be heard as the face plate unhinged itself from the skeleton underneath. Chase jumped and shouted in response.

Marvin jumped and gasped as well, but bursted out laughing at Chase's reaction.

"Ohohoho GOHOHOD NOHO! I HATE THIS!" Chase shouted, laughing uncomfortably.

[-Bonnie's harmonization module.] The narrator spoke, still talking despite Chase's inability to focus. [Press the blinking button inside Bonnie's secondary throat pipe to enter calibration mode.] The narrator continued.

"I'm guessing it's this middle button here?" Chase asked out loud. Chase reached his remote up to the button and pressed it. Immediately, the strings on the guitar started playing one by one! Chase immediately began playing air guitar.

"Yeah! Play it, Bonnie!" Chase yelled.

"Oh, something's loose..." Marvin commented, hearing a loose string sound, that stuck out like a sore thumb.

[Something is not right.] The narrator commented.

"Yeah, no shit." Marvin reacted. Chase froze and paused his air guitar moves upon realizing he was supposed to listen.

"Wait, what?! I didn't-" [One of those notes is out of tune.] The narrator interrupted. [You may push the button again to play the audio check.] The narrator further instructed.

"Okay, good. Cause I wasn't listening." Chase admitted, before clicking the button again. All 5 strings began playing one by one again, with the second-to-last sound appearing to be out of tune.

"Okay...I think it's this one?" Chase said out loud, turning the yellow tuning knob. [Press the blinking button now, to verify your work.] The narrator explained. Chase clicked the button and listened to the tuning...now 2 of the notes were out-

Bonnie's endoskeleton jumped right at Chase's screen! "AAAAAAAAH! OH MY GOD! BONNIE, YOU PICKY PIECE OF SHIT! COME ON!" Chase shouted, jumping about 3 feet into the air.

{TAKE 2}

[One of these notes is out of tune. You may push the button-]

"I know! You don't have to re-explain it, narrator! I got this!" Chase yelled out loud. Then, Chase began to play the individual chords with his remote finger. "...Uuuuh...This one?" Chase asked out loud, turning the first blue note before 'verifying his work'. "Dammit, I feel like this- GAAAAAAHAHAHA! OH, FUCK YOU! WHERE'S THE MIDDLE FINGER OPTION WHEN I NEED IT?!" Chase shouted, getting jump-scared again.

Marvin bursted out into even more laughter, clenching his stomach as he fell backwards onto his back. "YOHOHOU HAHAVE YOUR OWN FINGER, YOU KNOW!" Marvin reminded.

"Oh yeah!" Chase reacted, before letting his remote dangle and shooting the video game an invisible middle finger. "Fuck you!" Chase added.

{TAKE 3}

"Come on...This has GOTTA be it...Chase said, clicking the last tuning knob on the right. [Press the blinking button now, to v-] "I KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Chase shouted, clicking the button and listening to the chords. They finally sounded correct! [Great job.] The narrator cheered. "Yay!" Chase cheered. [Bonnie is in tune, and ready for his solo. Let's close him up.] The narrator encouraged.

"Gosh, this reminds me of Jack's Surgery Squad videos! 'Let's close it up.' Fuckin' JEFF!" Chase reacted. [Simply replace both eyes in the same order that you removed them. Then close up the face plate and we'll call it a day.] The narrator explained.

"Oh god...Okay. So, left then right?" Chase asked. He placed the left eye into the left socket, and paused to cover his face, in case another jump scare occurred. After a couple seconds of being in the clear, Chase took in a deep breath and placed the second eye in the second socket.

[Well done. That concludes your Parts and Services tasks. See you next time.] The narrator said.

Chase took off his headphones and placed them around his neck. "Yes! I did it! I'm a robot technician now!" Chase cheered.

"Good job, Chase! A round of applause for Chase's determination!" Marvin cheered. Chase smiled and flexed his muscles in a very modest fashion, to show off his bravery.

"Ooh! What's this I hear?" A familiar voice said behind Chase.

Marvin smiled and waved. "Hi Jackie! Chase just beat the first Parts and Services level!" Marvin explained.

"Wow! Congratulations Chase!" Jackie said with a smirk.

"Thanks Jackie." Chase said, sensing a bit of cockiness in the superhero's voice.

"What? You think you can do better?" Chase asked, turning around to where Jackie's voice was.

"No, no! I wanna see how far you can get! I'm genuinely curious!" Jackie reacted, putting his hands up in arrest, as to not offend anybody.

"Well, considering the first level took 3 tries to get right, I'd like to see how this goes." Marvin added. Chase rolled his eyes inside the headset and turned around to face the menu screen in the headset.

"Okay. let's move onto level 2. But first: I felt a pair of-" Chase said, before turning his head to the right. Chase looked around the background, and looked at the door frame. Specifically though, Chase was gazing his eyes on the outline of an animatronic in the corner of the room. "...eyes...staring...at me- Welp, that's not creepy at all..." Chase reacted.

"UUUUH- WHAT IS THAT?!" Marvin shouted, completely unaware that the figure even existed until now. The animatronic appeared to look like some kind of bunny, with a yellowish outline color and a pair of glowing purple eyes. It looked like it was waving at Chase.

"I don't know..." Chase admitted. He started waving his remote at the see-through being. "Hi there! Having fun stalking me?...That's good." Chase said, interacting with the bunny before clicking onto the Chica level.

"Alright. Let's see what this level has in it...Other than Chica, of course." Chase commented before clicking the 'start game' button.

[Welcome back to Parts and Service.] The narrator started.

"Oh god, you are thicc! DAMN BOI! DAMN, HE THICC AS FUCK!

[Sounds like Chica has been rummaging around the kitchen again.] The narrator continued.

"Look! He's covered in pizza! What in the world were you doing?" Chase asked.

[-and place it in the refuse bin.] The narrator explained, still going. Despite his talking over the instructions, he was able to hear the instructions.

"What have you been doing in the kitchen Chica? Making cupcakes with Chica Fischbach?" Chase asked, referring to Markiplier's golden retriever dog, who was also named Chica.

Marvin giggled at the question.

Chase began removing the pieces of pizza just covering the animatronic. Chase removed a pizza from the outside of Chica's belly. "There ya go! No more pizza on your tum-tum!" Chase cooed. Next, Chase removed the pizza from Chica's knee. "Now why is there a pizza in your knee? That's a strange spot for a pizza." Chase commented. Lastly, Chase removed the pizza from the side of Chica's head. "All done!" Chase said.

[Good job. Make sure Chica is not hiding any other treats, in her beak. To open her beak, carefully press the two buttons located on the sides of Chica's head.] The narrator instructed.

"Oh, so it's just like Bonnie?...Okay. Hopefully I don't get jump scared this time." Chase commented before clicking the left button and the right button on the side of Chica's jaw. Chica's beak opened with its head tilted this time! Chase jumped yet again. Immediately after, creepy crawly sounds could be heard in Chase's headphones. "Ew! Ew ew ew ew EW! What is that?!" Chase yelled.

[Oh no. It looks like Chica has picked up some unwanted friends.] The narrator explained.

"Oh my god! Ewww! What did you get yourself into, Chica?! that's disgusting!" Chase reacted.

[-Chemi-spray, to Chica's exterior. Press the button under the hanging canister, to activate the chemi-spray.] The narrator instructed.

"Uh- you mean this?" Chase asked as he brought his remote-controlled finger up to the red button on the left of his screen.

He clicked the red, flashing button. [Avoid inhaling the chemi-spray. Exposure to cleaning, disinfecting, and maintenance chemicals may result in respiratory problems, skin, or eye irritation.] The narrator warned.

"Well, jokes on you! This is Virtual Reality! Meaning, I'm not getting effected!" Chase yelled, throwing his hands up and yelling "Health issues" to the world.

Marvin laughed at Chase, and gave Jackie a nod.

[Good job. Now reattach Chica's upper arm, hand, and cupcake plate.] The narrator further instructed.

"Alright. How did you lose your arm, Chica?" Chase asked before removing his headset. He looked at Marvin with a smile. "Chica's over here, lookin' like Bethany Hamilton." Chase joked. Marvin rolled his eyes, but smiled as he shook his head. Chase put his headset back on and grabbed Chica's arm with his remote. Then, as he connected the upper arm to the shoulder joint, the arm moved itself into the usual cupcake-serving position. To end it off, Chase placed the cupcake plate onto Chica's open serving hand.

Suddenly, the creepy-crawly sound started up again!

[Oh no! It looks like Chica needs another dose of the chemi-spray. Do not let the infestation spread.] The narrator exclaimed.

"Ewww! Not again! Come on, Chica! Stop picking up bugs!" Chase reacted.

Chase reached up to touch the button with his remote-

"Hehehehey! Quihihihit ihihit!" Chase giggled as he brought his arm down and trapped the hand in the armpit. "Whohoho's tiihihicklihihing mehehehe?!" Chase asked.

"It's not me." Marvin admitted.

"It's not me either." Jackie said, standing right beside him.

"Jahahackie? Ihis thahat yo- AAAAHAHAHAHA!" Chase shouted, leaning forward with his headset still on. "IHIHI DIHIHIHIDN'T PREHEHESS THEHEHE BUHUHUHUTOHOHON!" Chase yelled at him.

Jackie smirked and removed his hand. "Well? What are you waiting for? Click the button!" Jackie encouraged.

"Buhuhut your gonna tihihickle mehehehe..." Chase complained.

"Who is? I'm not the one doing this. You must be feeling ghosts." Jackie lied.

"Quihihit fuhuhuckin' around with mehehe!" Chase yelled.

"I'm not! I'm sitting around, watching you try and reach the button!" Jackie insisted.

Chase chewed on his bottom lip. The tickling was really messing with him. But, Chase decided to brave it and hope and pray this was the last instruction. Chase reached up, and managed to click the button to activate more chemi-spray. But, as soon as the button was pushed, a few fingers began tickling his outreached armpit again.

Chase immediately brought his arm down. "NAAhahahaha! Jahahahackie! youlittleshihihihihit!" Chase giggled.

"How am I a little shit- I'm literally doing nothing!" Jackie protested as he tickled his armpit more.

"Yehehehes yohohou ahahahare! Yohohou're suhuch a fuhuhuckin' lihihihier!" Chase shot back. [Return the cupcake to Chica's plate.] The narrator instructed in the background. But Chase was too busy trying to remove a pair of arms out of his ticklish armpit!

Jackie gasped. "Come on, Chase...Now THAT was uncalled for." Jackie reacted sarcastically. Jackie looked at the screen and smirked. "Chase! You have to pick up the cupcake! He's running around loose!" Jackie warned.

"Yohoho're TIHIHIHICKLIHING mehehe!" Chase protested.

"You have a second hand! Use it!" Jackie reminded him. Chase decided to reach out to attempt to pick up the cupcake. But suddenly, another pair of fingers placed themselves into Chase's other armpit! Now BOTH armpits were being attacked! "AAAAAH! GAAHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAP IHIHIHIHIT!" Chase shouted, helplessly curled in as the cupcake began running around on the headset screen.

"Stop what? Who's tickling you? And why now, of all times? You're gonna lose the game!" Jackie replied, acting completely oblivious to the tickle treatment he was giving the man.

"LEHEHET MEHEHEHE GOOHOHOHO YOU LYHYHYING BAHAHASTAHAHAHARD!" Chase shouted.

Suddenly, Chica jumped at the screen and made a loud, shrieking sound!

"AAAAAAHAHAHA! OKAHAHAY, OHOHOKAHAHAHAY! IHIHI'M DEHEHEAD, LEHEHET MEHE GOHOHOHOHO!" Chase begged.

"Oh really? Well in that case:" Jackie said, before nodding to Marvin to save the game from the laptop. After the game was saved, Jackie clicked the off switch on the headset. "Let's hear that special laugh of yours." Jackie teased before moving his fingers. Jackie placed his fingers on the front of Chase's ribcage, and began digging and wiggling his fingers on Chase's bottom ribs at the front of his body.

"EEEEEEK! NOOOHOHOHO! JACKIE, PLEHEHEHEHEASE!" Chase begged.

"Come on, where's that special spot that makes you REALLY squeal?" Jackie asked. Chase only continued to laugh and squirm, refusing to answer. Then, it clicked! "Oh yeah! It's right here!" Jackie replied before lightly digging into another spot: the costal arch. Jackie learned this medical term from Schneeplestein. Basically: it was the V-shaped separation underneath the sternum of the rib cage. But, Jackie liked to call it: the outline of his abs.

Either way: Chase literally shrieked! Then, he started snorting and cackling at the same time!

"JAHAHACKIE! *snort* NOHOHO! *snort* NUUUUUUHUHU! *snort* EEEHEHEHEHE-*snort* EEHEEHEEHEEHEHEHEHE!" Chase barely got out through his giggles and disruptive snorts.

Marvin must've walked up closer to Chase, because Marvin's voice had gotten louder and much more closer! "What- Where are you even tickling him?! I legitimately can't tell." Marvin asked.

Jackie paused his tickling and brought his hand over to Marvin. "I'm tickling right here. Right on the ribs' ligaments." Jackie explained, giving Marvin's costal arch a quick tickle before returning to Chase.

"Eehehe! That's such a weird spot! How-" Marvin reacted.

"I found out about it while I was explaining a combat story!" Jackie explained.

"TOHOHOHOO TIHIHIHICKLYYYYY! *snort* IHIHI- *snort* IHIHI'M GOHOHONNA DIHIHIHIE! *snort* HAHAHAHAHA!" Chase begged as much as he possibly could through his giggles and snorts.

Jackie nodded and gave Chase a break. Chase giggled and just fell forward onto his knees. As soon as he gained a bit more strength, Chase removed the headphones and the headset and placed them down on the ground harder than he expected.

"Wait, how did the discovery happen?" Marvin asked, not fully understanding what exactly happened.

"There was a battle I was a part of, against some kind of buff man with an axe. After I knocked the axe out of his hand, the man got all angry and jabbed his clawed nails into my abdomen." Jackie explained. "When I reenacted the attack-" Jackie reenacted the claw-jab for Marvin as well, making sure to add in the slight shakiness of the buff man's hand. "-Chase started giggling and just flopped onto the ground. I actually had to repeat the move a few times, to understand that: 'wow! This is actually a tickle spot!'." Jackie further explained. "Now only that, but Chase started snorting as I scratched there, but especially when I scratched the v-shaped arch of his ribcage." Jackie added.

"Huh...That's really weird!" Marvin reacted. Marvin walked himself up to Chase, and gently laid him onto the ground.

"Whahat are you doing? You'd behehetter not be trying tohoho tickle mehehe again..." Chase warned.

"No no no. I'm not planning on tickling you. No, no no. I'm putting my master plan of tickling you, into session right now!" Marvin replied.

"Nohoho! Please dohon't- EEEEEEEEHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Chase shouted, flailing about as his rib cage was attacked again. Marvin dug his fingers on the top part of the arch, and crawled his fingers down the arch towards the front of his bottom ribs.

"Wow! This arch must've costal-lot of money!" Marvin joked. Chase groaned through his laughter.

"THAHAHAHAT *snort* WAHAS SOHO *snort* SOHOHOHO BAHAHAD!" Chase yelled through his laughs and snorts.

"Awww...Too puny for you?" Marvin asked.

Chase nodded his head as he attempted to push Marvin's hands away. Marvin paused his hands for a moment, and pulled out his magic wand. Using the magic wand in his right hand, he created a left-handed leather glove. Marvin turned his hand around and showed Chase the silver, nail-shaped claws attached to the tips of the fingers. Next, Marvin used his magical finger to give his right hand a leather glove with claws as well!

Marvin put his magic wand away and wiggled his fingers evilly. Chase's eyes just widened in suspense and anxiety.

"Ohohohoho nohohoho! Thohose look sohohoho scary!" Chase whimpered nervously.

"Ohoho...I know..." Marvin said, giggling in a deep, evil voice. Marvin wiggled his nailed gloves until they finally touched down to his abdomen and the front of his ribs.

"EEEEEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA! PAHAHAHAWS OHOHOHOHOFF PAHAHAHAWS OHOHOHOHOFF!" Chase shouted, pushing him away desperately.

"Paws off? But these aren't paws! These are gloves! They're cat gloves, to be exact. Raaaawwr!" Marvin teased, curling his fingers like cat claws to be more cat-like.

"NAAHAHAHAHA! GOHOHO RAHAHAHAWR AHAHAT SOHOHOHOMEOHOHONE EHEHEHELSE!" Chase yelled.

"But there's NO ONE here! You're the only person I can really RAWR at! So, I'll just RAWR at you. RAAAAAWWWWRRR!" Marvin growled like a cat, scritchy-scratching his upper arch.

"DAHAHAHAHAMN IHIHIHIHIT! YOHOHOHOU'RE SOHOHOHO WEHEHEHEHEIRD!" Chase shouted in retaliation.

"I mean, I'm a cat...Being weird is kinda my thing." Marvin explained.

Chase, not knowing what else to do, let out a hiss that sounded similar to a cat.

Marvin gasped and removed his fingers before putting a hand over his mouth. "Did-Did Chase just hiss at me?! Are you turning into BB?! Oh my gosh! That's so cute!" Marvin reacted, squealing and smiling widely at the cute man in front of him.

Chase continued to giggle as he took advantage of the break and took in deep breathes.

"Though as much as it was cute, hissing is always considered rude. So, I'm gonna need to punish you for that!" Marvin suggested before placing his gloved fingers back onto Chase's costal arch.

"NOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO! IHIHIHI'M SOHOHOHORRY! SOHOHORRY! JUHUHUHUST STAHAHAHAP!" Chase pleaded through his hysterical laughter.

"That was a bad boy!" Marvin demanded, poking his belly as he yelled the following words: "Bad, Boy!". "Bad boys need tickles!" Marvin teased. As Marvin's fingers got to the bottom of the arch, it was all over.

Chase proceeded to get completely wrecked for his 'bad habit' of hissing, as Marvin called it. Marvin took complete advantage of Chase's ticklish spots, and discovered a few more along the way! In the end, Chase's FNAF game got pushed aside for a while. All because Jackie couldn't keep his ticklish paws off Chase's stomach while he was blind to reality.

#ticklefic #virtual reality #five nights at freddy's help wanted #lee!chase #ler!jackie #ler!marvin

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translationandbetrayals · 4 years

Text

Re-writing of the myth of Noah in Mamoru Oshii's cinema, pt. 1 of 3

(MAJOR SPOILERS OF ANGEL'S EGG)

He waited anxiously for yet another seven days,.

and sent the dove,

which never returned to him.

Genesis, 8. 12

Mamoru Oshii has focused on writing and directing animated film productions that display a range of interpretations or rewrites of "universal" Western myths, reconfigured from contemporary intellectual thought, such as transhumanist thinking (developed from the evolution of medical science) and science fiction literature. Although this is clearly manifested in Ghost in the Shell, his (perhaps) most famous work, in it the myths are not developed deeply, without integrating it into the marrow of the world built in the work. To observe how Oshii works with myths and allegories we will focus on Tenshi no Tamago, his first work as a director and screenwriter.

Angel's egg, as translated into English, is a work whose complexity lies in the excellent use of symbols used as an environment and also as focal points of the action; not forgetting also the fact that each symbol (water, fish, cross, girl, etc.) have different interpretations depending on the culture of the viewer. Because of this, perhaps Oshii himself does not know what is the "meaning" of the film, since there may be so many that his opinion on it is unnecessary. Therefore, this reading will be constructed from a Western Judeo-Christian perspective, focusing on the myth of Noah and the dichotomy between the Old and New Testaments. Now, in case of being accused of being a Eurocentrist, let us remember that Mamoru Oshii studied the Christian and Judaic culture and myths (Ruh 52).

I. Noah's Ark and the "world on the Ark"

Most of the action in the film takes place in the space between the ark and the city, including a dark forest and the surrounding ruins; only at the beginning and at the end does one of the protagonists (whom Ruh observed as a soldier) observe the great Orb from the seashore. All these spaces are framed, or confined, both physically and allegorically, within a huge Ark, as reflected in the final image of the film. As the (ex) Christians well remember, after observing the degeneration and violence of men, God announced to Noah that He would open the heavens and flood the entire face of the earth "to destroy all flesh in which there is breath of life under the heavens ”(Genesis, 6.17); only the old man's family, along with the other animals, could climb a chest that they had to build. After the destruction of the world, God would drain the waters to establish a new settlement with his human/animal creations, but no one would know when it would happen; so, Noah decided to send birds to search for land. Finally, after waiting "anxiously" for seven days, [1] he released a white dove, which brought in its beak an olive branch in response to God: the waters had decreased. God was able to forgive the human being.

Aware of this, we now turn to one of the few dialogues that our characters have. Once inside the ark, both having a certain closeness and trust with each other, the man narrates the story of Noah and the flood, rewriting, however, the return of the bird: “Only he and those who were with him in the ark remained alive. Then he released a bird, to see if the waters on the ground had already dried up. But the bird never came back. […] So, the people waited for his return, and he waited, and they got tired of waiting. They forgot that they had released the bird. They even forgot that a bird existed and that the world was submerged under water.” Then the man points out that it was so long since the bird was released that he forgot the day it was released, and that he even doubted its existence. Then the girl reveals that she really did exist, and shows her a petrified skeleton of an angel, ensuring that the egg protected by her has an angel embryo waiting to hatch.

Only when our protagonists enter the ark, a horizon is presented to us where we can glimpse the meaning of the work. It is no coincidence that within the ark itself, the characters narrate and briefly explain the origin of that world, either through its diffuse memories or the remains / monuments that the ark possesses. The characters build a world that, unlike the biblical canon, was not forgiven by God, since He never drained the waters, condemning all his creation to remain suspended in an endless sea, waiting for a response that would never come. Like Vladimir and Tarragon, the inhabitants of the "world in the Ark" do not remember since when they began to wait, nor why they wait for Godot, at the arrival of the bird, at the response of God's mercy. The moldy and monotonous city, the stone fishermen, the petrified bones that adorn the small ark, the countless feathers that lie on the seashore: everything manifests the forgetfulness of both God and humans themselves towards this world.

However, we must add another great change that Oshii makes to the canonical myth; Instead of using the white dove symbol, the one sent to bring the olive branch is an angel. As Chevalier describes, the angel fulfills the function of intermediary between God and the earthly world, not only in the Judaic-Christian biblical culture, but in many others such as Akkadian (98). This great change reinforces the girl's reason for believing so fervently in her egg, since it “contains” a messenger from God, from the very God who left them adrift in a maritime abyss. The girl's hope is transformed into faith, and the egg is a symbol of her religion like the shadows of fish for fishermen.

[1] Note the use of the adverb "eagerly" so that, although it is present in the version of the Bible that we use in this work, it is not present neither in the Vulgate Bible, (London: Spottiswoode and Company. 1857), nor in the Hebrew-Spanish Bible (Tel-Aviv: Sinai. 2007).

Bibliography

- Biblia textual. Sociedad bíblica latinoamericana. 1999.

- Chevalier, Jean; Gheerbrant, Alain. Diccionario de símbolos. Barcelona: Herder, 1986.

- Cirlot, Juan Eduardo. Diccionario de símbolos. Madrid: Siruela, 1997.

- Ruh, Brian. “Angel’s Egg (1985)”. Stray Dog of anime: the films of Mamoru Oshii. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2004, pp. 45-60.

Recomendations:

- Carter, Peter. “Angel´s Egg & Mamoru Oshii: el otro camino”. Youtube.com. Agosto-2016. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCSru6VU87o.

#Anime #Japan #essay #submission

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theinquisitivej · 5 years

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SteamHeart Episode 20 Reactions

Chapter Twenty: Off-Road Warriors

You can listen to the full episode here.

Well damn, that was an intense dose of adrenaline via audio, wasn’t it?

Raven immediately sets the foreboding tone, a notable change from the sweet tranquillity of the previous chapter’s closing moments. His grave description of the convoy of Mad Max-looking scary-crazy-bastards (and yes, this is about to be a Steampunk Fury Road episode, and you should have no objections to that) coming over the horizon sells the real danger that these men represent. The language paints a captivating yet frightening picture of demented vehicles, using harsh consonants to convey the sturdiness of these reinforced crafts, and hissing adjectives to emphasise the sharp, hostile shapes of these clawed, pointed carriages. Best line of the section is certainly “nothing was uniform save for the manifestly apparent expulsion of normality”. It instantly cements the chaotic, violent mindset of the men approaching the mine.

These men call themselves the Southern Cross. Among their number is a man who’s fashioned himself into a bear (the talons fixed to his limbs make me think of a twisted, older and more cruel version of Miguel and his mongoose claw), and, as the band blows their own war trumpets in an act that is as aggressive as it is indicative of their own inflated self-importance over others, the ensuing danger becomes intensified, and chillingly unavoidable. We get the first glimpse of their leader, who wears a horse’s skull and appears to fancy himself a pale rider of death with the white, bone-like motif of his carriage and horses (I’m picturing Overwatch’s Reaper in both appearance and edgy lack of self-awareness). A lieutenant riding ahead of the pack addresses Raven. While Raven is the one who embodies the more dignified aspects of the bird with whom he shares his name, this lieutenant is the one who resembles a squawking, shrill parrot, wearing a beaked plague doctor’s mask and shrieking demands at Raven. He claims that “the Lord of Brimstone” has arrived. Oh this is going to go well.

Raven dashes inside, hurriedly relaying the situation to the others. Within minutes, the few remaining mine workers and the team have brought Tabitha, who, lest we forget, is still going through labour (but still exhibiting her leadership skills even now by issuing orders, reinforcing that whole theme I talked about last time about motherhood / pregnancy not getting in the way of authoritative women being damn good at their jobs), inside SteamHeart. They don’t have enough soldiers to defend this post, and help isn’t coming, so things are looking grim. Even so, Annie assures us that “we’re not dying here like rats in a trap. Hell, that’s like, my one rule.”, and Laureta Sela’s delivery of that second part alleviates some of the tension by getting a chuckle out of me with that great line. As the group approach the gates, however, the pressure of the situation is once again felt as Harry informs the team that, even with SteamHeart’s technological superiority, it will take some serious damage if it charges headfirst into the enemy through the gate, and likely won’t be able to break free of them if it does so.

Annie starts a dialogue with them through the loudspeaker. Abigail wanted to try, demonstrating her continuing desire to work on being a better figure of authority after giving the speech to the theatre a few chapters back, but Annie bluntly shoots that down as she knows they’ll have a better chance if she takes charge of this. Even so, it goes about as well as you’d expect – they don’t heed Annie’s firm warnings, and spout off rhetoric that, in addition to being violently psychotic, is grossly suggestive. Both the birdman and horse leader demand they “open wiiiide, each and every one of you; we are coming in!” Eeurggh… fuck these guys.

The team devise a plan of escape after Jae-Hyun proposes he opens the gate to give the rest of them a chance, acknowledging the certainty that this will result in his own death. His brushing of Tabitha’s cheek indicates the loyalty and love he has for his leader who he will lay down his own life for. He steps out of SteamHeart to meet his fate, adjusting his hat as he does so; if clothes maketh the man, then this act highlights the dignity of this man in the face of these monstrously dressed, hollow creatures who call themselves men. The Southern Cross enter the mine after Hyun opens the gates, and the plague doctor spouts more inane speeches about surrender being the sensible choice in the face of such a rapturous occasion (resembling a combination of Loki in the first Avengers saying “isn’t this so much easier?!”, and a Jim Sterling character). In an instant, Harry springs SteamHeart into action, shooting forward and knocking horses and riders aside as it does so. The episode has been building anticipation to this moment – things are going to kick off hard.

Jae-Hyun pulls the squawking doctor off his horse, and the response of arrows shot in his direction kills both men, though only the doctor meets his death with a scream. I’m torn on Jae-Hyun’s death, as it feels as if we were barely just starting to get to know this coolly tempered character, and the stern composure with which he met his death makes him someone I wish we got to spend more time with. However, I also think a character like this really helps heighten the stakes of the ensuing sequence, as well as hammers home the point that the victory of our heroes doesn’t come without sacrifice. The resilience Jae-Hyun showed as he met his death in order to save the lives of others, while still demonstrating a fighting spirit that showed he was a man who wouldn’t let monsters like these do what they wanted without retribution, makes the most of the small amount of time we spend with him. If we were to have a character with such a journey within SteamHeart, and I think that both the sequence and the story as a whole are stronger for it, I’m also glad that a specific effort is made to make this character not just a generic white guy. Instead, it’s a character of Asian descent who clearly has a defined look, style, and personality outside of what we see of him here in this book. It gives the world and the people in it a little more dimension, and reminds us that the way forward toward a more heroic and noble world is through unity and collaboration between all of us. That’s how we get to see the best of humanity. But for the worst of humanity, like the racist, murderous Southern Cross, it’s pretty satisfying to see someone of a different ethnicity literally pull them off their horse and, when it comes down to it, show that they are the better man when they each meet their deaths.

Anyway, back to the action – I’ll do my best to make my writing engaging and analytical, but to be frank, it’s so easy to lose myself in the flow of this sequence. It’s tense as hell, compelling, features detailed description of well-choreographed action, the voice actors are all delivering their lines with pitch-perfect urgency and intensity, and all of this is packaged together (in this audio version of the book) with some truly immersive editing and sound effect choices. It’s the best action sequence of New Century to date.

As SteamHeart breaks away, the Southern Cross give chase, abandoning their initial goal of the mine as they now want the technology of their craft, as well as to take out their frothing anger on the crew. The grassland beneath them is uneven, which isn’t good for Tabitha during all of this, so James urges Harry to seek the smoothest route. Individual horse riders catch up and start flinging projectiles at SteamHeart’s glowing cables, which you have to imagine is a weak point of the craft (kind of like those glowing spots on a videogame boss). Annie and Butler take position in SteamHeart’s sniping openings. Abigail and Jeremy are handing out ammo and hammering out any projectiles which pierce the hull of the craft, showing that this thing isn’t impervious to damage, and will fall if it takes too much. Harry is doing a mixture of evasive and ramming manoeuvres, resulting in some awesome displays of destruction as enemy carriages splinter, flip, and crash. God, this is good stuff to listen to.

James takes over narration from Raven (incidentally, Raven was a good choice for this first part, as his journalistic ability to report the specifics of events puts you right in the action of this sequence). He recruits Jeremy, instructing him to sterilise some linens using steam from the craft’s internal pipes. Tabitha grips James’ hands as she fights the pain, and the two “breathe together”, something Harry and Tabitha did at the end of the last episode – there’s a lot of power in matching and sharing the breathing of someone else as they go through something hard that pushes them to the edge. James hides nothing from Tabitha when she asks him if he’s delivered many babies before; he’s assisted on several occasions, but this is the first time he’s delivered one himself. But even as weapons hammer the hull next to them, James assures with compassionate determination that they’re going to do this right, and that there will be another “little person in the world” in a short while, which is how they’re going to survive. It’s an exchange of nervous fear as everything happens around them, mixed with hopeful resilience.

We switch to Annie. An approaching enemy vehicle has attached lassos to SteamHeart. Abigail, Harry, and Annie take this in, realise how they need to counter this, and brace themselves; SteamHeart builds energy in a roaring moment of anticipation before Harry jams the wheel and hammers the breaks, making the back of SteamHeart swing like an almighty pendulum, smashing the enemy vehicle in a spectacular moment of destruction.

Now the Bear (whose cries make him sound like Tom Hardy’s Bane) and his vehicle are coming down on them. One of the Southern Cross leaps onto the windshield and embeds his tomahawk in the window and narrowly misses Harry. The proud mechanic indignantly cries out that these fuckers are “tearing my baby apart!”, and Abigail steps out the hatch to punish the window assailant by shooting him point blank in the elbow. If I recall correctly, her weapon of choice right now is a sawn-off shotgun, making the impact of this even meatier and wince-inducing [Editor’s Correction: I’ve been informed that Abigail’s weapon is a shotgun, but not a sawn-off. It’s a lever-action, short-barrel, short-stock shotgun, made for her by Harry, John Browning and William Winchester. Think Arnie during the truck chase scene in Terminator 2]. Annie asks her what the hell she thinks she’s doing, before Abby swings across to the Bear’s carriage using one of the lassos. Annie’s concern is understandable; Abigail is her charge, a possessor of the Endowment (and one who very recently demonstrated can actually put it to good use by closing these portals), and this chaotic and dangerous situation might force Annie to do what Arlington asked of her and shoot Abigail before the Endowment can be lost, which is the last thing she wants to do. We see these frantic thoughts race through her mind as she trains her rifle over the Bear and Abigail’s fight. The Bear seems to be enjoying the duel, demanding his comrades leave her alone and that he be the one to take her down. Abigail catches herself on his armour, but she spits blood in his eye, dodges his club, and, with one guided megaton hit of a punch that slows the world down to a crawl, destroys his balls.

Brutal. Awesome.

As he reels, Abigail ropes the Bear and kicks the driver, snaring him and launching the Bear into the air as Annie tags in with a shot that severs the rope and sends him flying and crashing. A feathered carriage comes in from the side, putting Abigail in danger. Annie calls out for a bottle of bourbon, and Raven assists by giving her his whisky, though he lets her know that she owes him a drink. This, and a lot of other little asides and exchanges during this sequence is what communicates the character of the people engaged in this fight, which makes it all the more exciting and thrilling. It’s people we know and care about who are participating in this and fighting for their lives, not just nameless faces. For that same reason, it’s also what makes it tense and frightening; I really don’t want to lose anyone in this group. But, for the time being, Raven tears a piece of fabric from his shirt and jams it into the bottle, showing he understands exactly what Annie had in mind. He lights it with his cigarette (another indication of his personality – it’s amusing to see that even in this life-or-death situation, Raven prioritises having a lit cigarette in his mouth), and Annie passes the Molotov to Abigail after she realised what the two were planning and came up to them. The synthesis of this teamwork and co-operation between multiple members of the party is really satisfying to watch. Annie lays down covering fire at the feathered carriage to distract them as Abigail slings the bottle, and Annie, like John Marston activating Dead Eye, focuses her attention as time slows down and hits the bottle with one last bullet. Wild fire ignites the carriage. Annie lets out a guttural and sorely earned “YYYYESSS!”

The last carriage is the Lord of Brimstone with his skeleton crew and his bone-white ride. They have dynamite – oh dear. Abigail extends a hand out to Annie, emphasising her support and belief in her that she can make this shot. She pulls Annie onto the roof, and as Annie is pulled into the open air before she lands next to Abby, she sees everything clearly, and identifies her target. She takes her shot immediately, and it lands, hitting the guy behind Brimstone, who was holding a stick of dynamite, which he drops inside the carriage – right next to all the other dynamite. The explosion destroys the carriage, and the leader is shot out like a comical firework, engulfed in fire, ash, and bone. Hey, he was the one who called himself “Brimstone” and obsessed over his boney white aesthetic – I’d say he got exactly what he always wanted.

With a crash, the world goes quiet. We hear a heartbeat slow down, providing a fantastic transition that takes us from the adrenaline of this sequence back down to a place where we can catch our breath. But we’re soon reminded that, while all of this is going on, Tabitha is still facing her own fight as she’s in the middle of giving birth to her baby. As James guides the baby out, provides support to Tabitha, and things escalate to their peak, the explosion echoes out behind them as Tabitha experiences her own release as the baby boy comes out, safe. The music instantly adapts to the sweet innocence of the moment. The crew re-centre themselves, Harry slows down SteamHeart, and now that everything is okay and everyone is safe… Annie punches Abigail in the side, in an act of frustration that ends up hurting her more than Abigail (Annie is after all not quite as used to throwing punches as Abigail is, as we remember from that brawl in Secret Rooms which Abby and James adapted to but which took Annie by surprise and disorientated her). Abigail responds that, while she may have taken a risky move, they all survived and made it through this. The tone is quietly triumphant, intimate, and optimistic. Our heroes have made it through this.

James shares Abby’s gratitude for the moment, and as Butler tells him he’s done a good thing here as Tabitha holds her child close to her, he experiences a sense of tranquil acceptance. James has been experiencing doubts about himself and his usefulness ever since he acquired the Endowment. At the end of Secret Rooms, he even wondered if he would be any good as a doctor after effectively losing one half of his eyes. But by helping another, by bringing this new life into the world, James has realised he can make enough of a difference to be at peace with himself, if only for now. It’s a revelation that endears me to James, as I’ve often found that, at times where I doubt my own self-worth, the best thing I can do is to seek out ways I can help other people, whether it’s in big ways or little ways. If I can make someone else’s day a little easier, then that alone makes me feel like I’m doing alright. And that’s a sentiment I love to see in fiction like this.

So yeah, this episode was a fantastic ride, and a complete triumph.

#The Inquisitive J #fiction #new century #new century multiverse #the new century multiverse #steampunk #alternate history #alternate universe #alternate history fiction #audio drama #fictional podcast #steamheart #the inquisitive j reviews

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makeste · 6 years

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BnHA Chapter 154: The Inevitable

Previously on BnHA: Even though the previous chapter ended with Deku arriving to punch Overhaul in the face, the majority of the chapter somehow was spent getting up to that moment which we’d already gotten up to! But finally it happened, and Aizawa, Nighteye, and Deku burst onto the scene. Nighteye gave Mirio a big ol’ hug and told him he did so good, and it was one of the few highlights of this arc, and so deserved. Deku and Aizawa went to apprehend Overhaul, but one of Overhaul’s Endless Minions woke up and used his quirk to basically paralyze Aizawa, so that Aizawa in turn was forced to blink and Overhaul was able to reactivate his own quirk. He proceeded to straight up murder his loyal right hand man and fuse their bodies together to form some kind of grotesque monstrosity, but like, it’s not even the good, interesting kind of grotesque. It’s just the same old Overhaul with some extra demon arms that’ve got big claws on ‘em, and now his mask is fused to his face like a demon bird beak as a bonus. Whatever. Nine seven chapters to go.

Today on BnHA: Overhaul revels in his new power-up and taunts Mirio a bit, mostly just to make sure everyone knows that his quirk is gone for good. Nighteye tells Deku to take Mirio and Eri and get them to safety while he holds Overhaul off. He thinks about everything he taught Mirio and how strong he became and how proud he is of him, and that all he wants to do right now is protect him and Eri. As Deku hauls Mirio and Eri away from the carnage, the narration starts talking about how Nighteye spent so much time desperately trying to change the futures he saw, but that it never worked no matter what he did. In spite of this, and in spite of knowing that his actions are merely “drawing out the inevitable”, he continues to fight Overhaul until he is brutally impaled on some more spikes. Enraged, Deku turns back, leaving Eri with Mirio, and activates One for All at 20%.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 185 now, so any ETAs will reflect that. Posting this a few hours early since I won’t be able to later this evening.)

fun fact, Fallen Angels/Jaimini’s Box doesn’t have this chapter translated on their site. in fact they don’t have any chapters translated from 154 all the way until 167. I can only assume they were getting as sick of this shit as I am. can’t even blame them for bailing

so Mangastream, that leaves just you. the brave souls who stuck it out till the bitter end. you guys are the real heroes academia

unfortunately the FA scans were also the cleaner scans, so now we’ll have to deal with these kind of dark, smudgy-looking pages. on the bright side, if you squint you can almost pretend like what’s happening on the page is actually interesting

sorry to rag on you before you even get started, chapter. but let’s not kid ourselves here

so Overhaul says he’s in a bad mood but “this is a little better”

and the text is all “that form... grotesque!” but again, it’s just his normal form with a couple extra demon arms. nothing we haven’t seen from Shouji or Tokoyami. do you guys remember Shouji and Tokoyami. good kids. wonder whatever happened to ‘em

Deku is like clinging to one of the floor spikes and trying to assess the situation

oh?

if Aizawa gets a one-on-one fight with that guy it had better be sick as hell. do NOT fuck around with my Aizawa fight. I will not forgive you

(ETA: does it count as fucking around with my Aizawa fight if we don’t even get an Aizawa fight. given how they probably would have managed to make even that inexplicably bad, it’s probably for the best that we didn’t get this in the end.)

Overhaul is monologuing about how germophobic he is and how this is the first time he’s been pushed to this point

oh shit he’s bringing out the big guns

did Mirio even know that his quirk was gone forever? up until this point he had no reason to assume the effect wouldn’t just be the same as with Tamaki. he really drew the short end of the stick. poor baby

oh here’re the rest of the bullets

-- excuse me, they’re the ones dragging this out?? WHO WAS IT THAT ORDERED HIS SUBORDINATES TO CREATE A NEVERENDING MAZE OF MEDIOCRE SECOND TIER VILLAINS

now he says Mirio has gotten all his friends mixed up in this and that they’re all gonna die

why does he keep taunting Mirio even though he’s already basically out for the count. still sore about how badly he fucked you up huh buddy. you prick

Mirio is all

um, yes way. he was torturing a six-year-old on a regular basis just to make no-quirk juice. he doesn’t even have a deep-seeded reason for it as far as I can see. he’s just in the mob and wants to make money. and even his boss was all “dude I get that you wanna make bank, but that plan is too fucked up even for us.” but he went and did it anyway

so yeah, I don’t know why anyone’s surprised that he’s cool with callously murdering his own subordinates, or why that of all things would somehow be the straw that broke the camel’s back

here comes Deku again!

did he throw that spike at him? nice

he caught it, and it did nothing, but still. nice

he’s grabbing another one! and thinking of Mirio!

stab him in the face Deku. do it for senpai

you know who I miss? fucking Stain. I miss him so much. I’ll never say a word against him again. that’s a lie but my god it’s like how you weirdly appreciate George W. just a little more after dealing with Trump. even though W. was just the worst. still so bad. but like, it gives you a new sense of scale and an understanding that no matter how bad things are, they can always get just a little bit worse

anyway, Deku’s diving in still but Overhaul is creating more spikes, this time from his hands

they’re crumbling upon impact with Deku’s kicks, but he’s thinking that if it weren’t for his iron soles he’d have been done in just now

I’m sorry are those things not impressive? what else do you need? he’s got smarts too, for what it’s worth

what in the

was that another one of his stamps?? Nighteye is such a freak

yep. look at this

take that bitch. I’m gonna sign for you like a package from Fedex

we’re now flashing back to a conversation they had while running in the hallway for those five long hours

“don’t you DARE fucking break your bones again you little punk”

Nighteye’s asking what Overhaul did with Aizawa

oh shit this is the first interesting thing Overhaul has said in ages

(ETA: so what a surprise that absolutely nothing came of it)

yeah, I bet he’s interested. oh shit. so now he’s whisked him off to the “VIP room.” what’s in there, caviar and high-stakes poker tables?

you guys. Nighteye is piiiiiiiiiiiissed

yeah for real. because he used the permabullets even though he only had five of them. I was wondering about that too

now Overhaul is disintegrating his two right arms. what are you playing at now

look how fucking weirdly Nighteye dodges

the hell kind of dodge is this

Overhaul is thinking he’s not particularly fast, but that his movements are similar to Lemillion’s. “so this guy’s the teacher...”

Nighteye’s flashing back to Mirio’s internship when he explained to him that by accumulating experience he would learn how to predict people’s actions and move accordingly

I’m so sorry this asshole took your son’s quirk Nighteye

all right so now Deku’s reached Mirio and Eri and he’s asking if they can move

Mirio’s all “no sweat” ffff

ffffffffffffffffff

baby sweetie honey nooo shhhh. don’t apologize for being sad that he forcibly destroyed a part of you. something that was unique and that you worked so hard to perfect and that was going to lead you toward your dreams. fuck. you’re allowed to be fucking bummed out kiddo. it’s gonna be okay

so Deku’s grabbing them all and he’s kicking open the path that Overhaul just tried to close up again

and now Eri is clutching at him and crying ffffffffffffff

THIS IS NOT OKAY. HORIKOSHI!!! COME THE FUCK ON. WHAT IS THIS

and Mirio’s looking back over his shoulder as they retreat, and he seems to have seen something troubling oh shit

this is all very interesting, but I thought he could only do one person a day? I still don’t fucking get how his power works in combat

(ETA: as the next page clarifies, I guess he used it on Overhaul and that’s how he saw himself and Deku dying at Overhaul’s hands. and this must mean it’s been more than 24 hours since he used it on the babysitter guy. and this is also why it takes him a full day to die afterwards, so that he can live just long enough to look into Mirio’s future one last time. ...fuck me why am I thinking about that noooo)

OH SHIT!?!?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. “THE INEVITABLE”!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK

DID THEY JUST FUCKING KILL NIGHTEYE WHAT THE FUCK

AT THE VERY LEAST WE ALL AGREE HIS ARM IS GONE, YES. STRAIGHT UP NO LONGER GOT A LEFT ARM

HOLY FUCK

AHHHHHHH EVERYTHING JUST SUDDENLY WENT BLACK

AND HIS EYES ARE LIKE

I’M FREAKING OUT!!?!?!?!?!

DEKU’S LOOKING BACK TOWARD THE SCENE AND HE’S TOTALLY BUGEYED

OVERHAUL IS SENDING SPIKES THEIR WAY

HOLY SHIT DEKU!?!?

OH SHIT

DEKU BE CAREFUL OF YOUR LIMBS!! ALSO YOU’RE THE BEST, HOLY FUCKING SHIT

even Overhaul has abruptly stopped his endless spike attacks and is now resorting to cautious trash talk

oh shit

CALL BACK TO THE ALL MIGHT PROPHECY OH SNAPPPPPP

DEKU YOU ARE SO COOL JESUS CHRIST THIS WAS SUCH A COOL MOMENT. I FORGOT THE MANGA COULD DO THAT

WAS IT WORTH 900 CHAPTERS OF BULLSHIT? AND MIRIO LOSING HIS QUIRK? AND NIGHTEYE FUCKING DYING FUCKING JESUS CHRIST? NO

BUT GOD IT’S SOMETHING, AND THAT SOMETHING IS ADMITTEDLY PRETTY COOL

I swear to god if he loses even with this. just...

just remember Deku. Nighteye literally died for this shit. probably. oh my godddddd

no bonus. because I’m pretty sure the next omake is supposed to go with tomorrow’s chapter. it’s really hard to figure this out tbh. but I guess I should be grateful that we even still have translated omakes right now, since even that will come to an end once we hit chapter 167. enjoy it while it lasts I guess

#bnha #boku no hero academia #overhaul (bnha)#midoriya izuku #sir nighteye #toogata mirio #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #well at least we're in the home stretch now #just one more week and we can say goodbye to all this misery #remember everyone #before we throw this arc away #we should thank it #this is because the arc taught us that we do not like to read arcs like this

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pixelgrotto · 6 years

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The deductive point ‘n click escapades of a forgotten southern belle Adventure games of the point ‘n click variety are a genre that tend to feature female protagonists more often than others. Why this is the case, I’m not entirely sure - it might have something to do with the stereotype that women are more patient, more willing to read and perhaps better at solving puzzles than men. Or, perhaps legendary adventure game designer Roberta Williams’ influence still holds strong, at least on a subconscious level in the minds of designers, over the genre that she helped nourish in the 80s and 90s, and the heroines of today’s games are merely following in the footsteps of fine women that preceded them, like Rosella of Daventry in King’s Quest IV. Whatever the reason, despite there being quite a few point ‘n clickers popping up these days with engaging female protagonists (Kathy Rain is one that I played early this year and enjoyed), there’s a 1920s southern belle who probably deserved a long-lasting series but only got two games which are somewhat overlooked these days. Her name is Laura Bow, and she served as the protagonist of two Sierra titles that were released in 1989 and 1992 - The Colonel’s Bequest and The Dagger of Amon Ra.

Laura seems to have been specifically patterned after famous silent film actress Clara Bow, but at her heart she’s more like a slightly older version of Nancy Drew, and her two games embody Nancy’s fine tradition of mystery solving. The Colonel’s Bequest takes place on a private island in the bayous of New Orleans as Laura accompanies a friend and fellow Tulane University student for a weekend getaway at the manor of her uncle, Colonel Dijon. The old man is bequeathing his fortune to relatives and has invited a motley assortment of characters right out of an Agatha Christie paperback - the drunk aunt, the conceited Hollywood starlet, the perverted doctor who seems to have a thing for betting on the ponies - and a la Clue, bodies start piling up as the relatives presumably begin offing themselves in order to get Dijon’s fortune first.

I mentioned Roberta Williams previously, and The Colonel’s Bequest was actually designed by her as one of those rare side projects that didn’t feature the words “King’s” and “Quest” in the title. (Hm, I suppose it’s called The Colonel’s Bequest, so scratch that.) It’s always hard to tell how much Roberta was involved in non-King’s Quest projects - The Dagger of Amon Ra, for instance, was directed by Bruce Balfour despite featuring her name on the box - but I’d wager that she intended The Colonel’s Bequest to be a spiritual remake of her very first adventure game (and indeed, the first graphical adventure game ever), Mystery House. Mystery House featured a similar murder plot, and The Colonel’s Bequest takes this concept and evolves it, offering a unique structure where there aren’t really any puzzles to solve but instead “scenes” to witness. The entire game is structured like a play - there’s even a cast curtain call in the beginning - and Laura is encouraged to spend as much time as possible talking with the potential murder suspects and finding unique ways to eavesdrop on them.

The game’s manual makes a huge deal about this emphasis on observing the story and slowly figuring out the links between characters in an effort to deduce the killer, and we can look at Johnny L. Wilson’s 1990 review of the game in Computer Gaming World as an example of how this approach was seen as admirable, fresh and also a bit risky at the time. Don’t let the fact that there aren’t many puzzles fool you into thinking that The Colonel’s Bequest is easy, though - it’s just as tough as Sierra’s other adventures with just as many nonsensical ways to die, and the unique structure where certain events and conversations are “timed” (indicated on screen by a clock) means that sometimes you’ll be wandering around aimlessly searching for the next thing to do, or possibly miss out on vital bits of info because you weren’t at the right place at the right time. It’s a little like The Last Express, only less refined.

Luckily, the game’s great atmosphere makes up for any shortcomings that its boldly unorthodox but occasionally clunky design creates. This is one of the best 16 color titles that Sierra produced with their SC10 engine, and the soundtrack is packed with jazzy songs influenced by the Roaring Twenties with just enough sense to know when to be quiet as well. As you navigate Laura across the silent grounds of the mansion in the dead of night, wondering where the killer might be, it’s very possible to get shaken by the sound of lightning bursting in the background, and I can certainly imagine young players in 1989 jumping out of their skin when they encountered such moments.

Laura’s next outing, The Dagger of Amon Ra, trades the dark island setting for the Egyptology craze of the 20s, and loses a little bit in the process but makes up for it with 256 colors, rotoscoped animations (which are darn smooth but cause character sprites to be a bit muddy, unfortunately) and an even catchier selection of jazz tunes, including an amusing vocal track called “The Archaeologist Song.” Oh, and the CD version is a “talkie” game, with performances that range from kinda terrible (Sierra was still having their employees voice these games at the time instead of hiring actors) to excellent (Laura’s got a cute southern accent and the narrator’s voice is heavenly).

The plot revolves around the titular Dagger of Amon Ra, an Egyptian artifact that’s been stolen from a New York City museum. Laura, now a fresh grad from Tulane and in the middle of her first journalism assignment at an NYC paper, has to navigate the mean streets of Manhattan, infiltrate a speakeasy and chat with a mildly racist caricature of a Chinese laundromat owner before getting into the museum, where she once again encounters a wide cast of characters, from the stuck up British twat who removed the dagger from Egypt to the nutty countess, who is possibly engaged in some mild robbery efforts around the museum when nobody’s looking. People start dying pretty soon (and their death scenes are grand - check out this poor SOB who got decapitated and stuck with a Perodactyl beak) and while the beginning section of the game outside of the museum is more like a traditional point ‘n click affair, once you’re locked inside the building after the first murder, everything becomes reminiscent of The Colonel’s Bequest. You’ve got to meander about, hope you bumble upon the right conversations and try your best to piece together clues before the murderer suddenly starts chasing you during the game’s second-to-last chapter.

The Dagger of Amon Ra kind of stumbles in its execution of this form of gameplay more than its predecessor, because all the chapters of museum exploration feel terribly disjointed even more than walking around Colonel Dijon’s mansion did. Also, the character motivations are unclear, which is a problem in a mystery game - especially one where the entire final chapter actually involves Laura being quizzed by the coroner in an annoying game of 20 Questions as to the identity and motives of the killer! If you slip up once during this finale, you’ll get the bad ending, which involves the killer finding Laura’s apartment and GUNNING HER IN HER SLEEP, jinkies. And even if you succeed and get the good ending, which sees Laura writing her first award-winning expose on the theft and hooking up with putzy love interest Steve Dorian, it’s still quite impossible to discern the killer’s motives and why he went about his nefarious deeds, because The Dagger of Amon Ra just...doesn’t explain things. I’m not the only one who had trouble figuring it out - The Adventure Gamer blog wrote up a fantastic series of posts about this game and came to the same confused reaction as I did.

Both Laura Bow adventures come from an older time where it was common to take notes as you went through a game, so perhaps my puzzlement at The Dagger of Amon Ra’s ending is due to my lack of pencil and paper by my side as I played. I did use walkthroughs for both games, though, and if you do end up checking them out (they’re available on GOG), I’d recommend doing the same. You probably still won’t be able to figure out why whatshisname stole that dagger, but despite their flaws, the Laura Bow games really are worth experiencing. Laura’s a likeable lead (just look at this adorable expression on her face as she stumbles upon the museum’s French skank engaged in hanky panky with the janitor) and she does a fine job of showing off the spirit of the 20s, an underrepresented period in the pantheon of electronic gaming.

Laura never got a third game, and as far as mystery franchises go, Sierra soon passed the torch to the Gabriel Knight series, which apparently takes place in the same universe, since Gabriel visits Tulane in Sins of the Fathers and hears word of a lecture being given by “Laura Bow Dorian” - a hint that Laura married Steve Dorian and lived happily ever after! I’m glad that Ms. Bow got a nice ending even if we couldn’t see it in game form, and I’m sure that if she were a real person, she would be pleased to see spiritual successors of sorts like the aforementioned Kathy Rain following in her footsteps today.

This is perhaps a good place to mention The Crimson Diamond, an upcoming indie game in the works by Canadian illustrator Julia Minamata. I recently played through the demo and am eagerly awaiting the full release - it’s almost like a direct sequel of The Colonel’s Bequest with an alternate universe version of Laura. Rest assured, Ms. Bow - even if your adventures aren’t as remembered these days as they should be, the example you set of the enterprising female gumshoe is alive, well and in good hands!

All box art and screenshots from Mobygames.

#pixel grotto #video games #favorites #laura bow #colonels bequest #dagger of amon ra #sierra online #roberta williams

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isakthedragon · 6 years

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Super Sonic Thieves Finale

Finale - The Most Dangerous Amusement Park Ever

The Set-Up:

Sly, narrating: “Sonic lead us to where he thought Eggman was, which just so happened to be an elevator which opened up for us.”

Sonic: “Heh, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. A few years, and you’ve rebuilt your ‘Interstellar Amusement Park’. Well, let’s crash your party. Come one, everyone, get on.”

Sly, narrating: “Once everyone got on, the elevator started going up into the sky, slowly at first, but slowly getting faster too.”

Bentley gets forced back in the chair. “Geez. Don’t hold back on the G-forces, huh?”

Sonic: “Eggman likes to give us a head rush before he shows us his ‘next big thing’.”

Sly, narrating: “Soon, Eggman, or at least a recorded message, spoke to us.”

Eggman: “Well done, Sonic and friends, and who I can only assume are extra passengers known as Sly Cooper and related. You’ve beaten all of my minions, and even defeated Sly’s old foes. A standing ovation for all of you.” *Sounds of recorded clapping.* “Too bad your journey has come to the end here. As soon as this elevator stops, you will be greeted to my new ‘Interstellar Amusement Park’ which is sure to make you head spin. It’s not going to treat you folk nicely, but I suspect you’ll make it through all the same. I shall be waiting for you at the far end of the park, so I’ll see you then.”

Sonic: “Ah, always with the ego.”

Eggman: “Oh, and a special thanks for Penelope for leading you all here in the first place.”

Penelope: “Huh?”

Eggman: “Your friend is right! You are just a pawn. You lead them right to where I am, and you’re also right that all your Clockwerks were from Arpeggio. He’s flying around in his Clockwerk body right now, ready to make this last Zone that much harder to cross. So sorry if anyone does die… NOT!!”

*Bentley comforts Penelope.*

Penelope: *Sigh* “I hope I didn’t screw up.”

Bentley: “You didn’t. He’s just trying to scare you.”

Tails: “Yeah. We would have found him out sooner or later. You’re good.”

-----

Zone Layout: Welcome to Eggman’s NEW Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park (Trademarked! :D )! Eggman has spared no expense or villainy to build the toughest zone you can ever face, all hiding under a bright atmosphere. Eggman has taken from past Sly villains to make this place even more dangerous like a towering Volcano area, a blimp ride that looks a lot like Arpeggio’s, and a Cooper Vault style climbing area. It all sounds so menacing, but they all are hiding behind the bright lights of the Tropical Resort style base. It seems this place was meant to hold people, so it might be a smart idea to shut this whole place down.

Enemies:

Toucan Robots: Once, Arpeggio’s patrolmen, but now just robotic copies. They’re still wearing jetpacks that can flame you if you touch them, and can also send out flying lasers to burn even more. Carries/drops 27-29 coins and has a 25% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

Supreme Toucan Robots: Robotic copies of Arpeggio’s flashlight guards. Watch out for the cannon they have attached to their shoulders that will blast cannonballs at you. Carries/drops 27-32 coins and has a 50% chance of treasure to pickpocket.

E-2000 (And E-2000): Slick looking badniks with a big laser gun. Attack them when they are attacking or they’ll just block your attacks with their shield arm. Drops 30 rings when smashed.

Falco: Those quick birds will attempt to bomb you as they fly by. It might be easier to dodge than attack them, though they are worth 30 rings if smashed.

Tropical Resort Pawns: These Egg Pawns would like to greet you… with whacking you with their large ‘Welcome’ sign poles. Drops 32 rings when smashed.

Slugs: Eggman’s remake of Clockwerk’s fire slugs. All they got going for them is their fire around them, so just throw or range attack them to defeat them. Drops 32 rings when smashed.

Clocktwerps: Smaller, though still kinda big (Like Egg Hammer big), Clockwerk birds that are starting to be mass produced by Eggman. Since it’s Eggman’s they aren’t impossible to defeat, but they will take a few hits. They either swing with their wings or talons to hurt you, or bite you with their beaks. Drops 34 rings when smashed.

Treasures:

From Guards:

Large Gold Ring: Worth 200 coins and 100 rings.

Large Diamond Ring (It’s made of actual diamonds): Worth 300 coins and 150 rings.

Large Adamantium Ring: Worth 400 coins and 200 rings.

From Pedestals:

Eggman’s Spare Goggles: Found among the computers to smash to enter the next area. Worth 5000 coins and 2500 rings.

Megadrive: Found where the gang’s old safehouse was on the blimp. Worth 7500 coins and 3750 rings.

Platinum Bubble: Found among the piles of treasures for Henrietta. Worth 10000 coins and 5000 rings.

The coins have Eggman’s face as a design on them.

-----

Eggmanland Zone Act 1: Cream, Knuckles, Blaze, Murray, Panda King, and Carmelita head off to the ‘Clockwerk’s Volcano’ attraction and shut it off before it can burn someone. First, Cream and Murray will have to fight up to the volcano itself, fighting off enemies and traps that get sprung. Then, Knuckles and Blaze work to smash computers to open a large door and through a security hallway. It ends with Panda King and Carmelita shooting Eggman’s version of a death ray pointed at Earth to pieces to finish the act.

*At the start.*

Eggman’s PA announcement: “Welcome to the ‘Clockwerk Volcano’ attraction. Witness the spectacular, if annoying, battle between a gigantic robot bird, and one small annoying raccoon. Hmmm… sounds awfully familiar.”

Murray: “Is that supposed to be what was Clockwerk’s volcano we we first met him?”

Carmelita: “It seems to be so. We better shut it all down.”

*Later, in the room with the sealed door.*

Knuckles: “They wanted us to search for computers in this area, but I don’t get why it’s just us?”

*Some lava slugs appear.*

Blaze: “Lava slugs robots. Only I can touch them, that’s why.”

*Later, at the death ray machine.*

Carmelita: “Ay… This isn’t good. It’s that death ray Clockwerk had.”

Panda King: “We know it can’t be, since Clockwerk had no part in making it.”

Sonic, over the binocucom: “I wouldn’t put it past Eggman that he’d build a fake death ray that WORKS. I think you should destroy it just in case.”

Carmelita: “Yes, we should!”

Panda King: “The experience shall test how far we’ve come… in destruction. Heh.”

*The death ray explodes once it takes enough damage.*

Carmelita: “Looks like your world is safe now, Sonic. At least from death rays.”

Panda King: “We’ll clean up whatever’s left here and join you later.”

Sonic, over the binocucom: “See you then, guys. And thanks.”

---

Eggmanland Zone Act 2: Amy, Tails, Charmy, Espio, Rouge and Bentley take a ride on the ‘Arpeggio’s Blimp’ attraction to prevent Arpeggio Clockwerk from using it as a charging station. Everyone uses their own skills to tear the place apart with bombs and hacking so it becomes essentially nothing but a broken ride.

*At the start.*

Eggman’s PA Announcement: “Welcome to the ‘Arpeggio’s Blimp’ attraction! You’ll be green with envy, or airsickness, when you see the heights one gang took to take down a bird and a magnificent airship.”

Bentley: “Whoa! It looks exactly like Arpeggio’s blimp!

Tails: “That’s Eggman for you. He builds the most gigantic scale models of weapons of mass destruction, then use them for that purpose.”

Rouge: “I wonder what he’s using it for.”

Charmy: ♪ “I hear the buzz of electricity in use!” ♫

*Arpeggio Clockwerk suddenly flies out of the attraction.*

Amy: “Wow! What was that!”

Bentley:”It appears to be Arpeggio… which means he’s using this place as a charging station.”

Charmy: ♪ “Does that mean we get to destroy it?” ♫

Bentley: “We have to, so Arpeggio has nothing to fall back on.”

Espio: “We better watch for any traps they have set for us.”

*Once the whole blimp is destroyed.*

Bentley: “Okay, guys! The blimp is destroyed, which means Arpeggio only has this time to make it count. You guys got this?”

Sly, over the binocucom: “Yeah, we got this. Just got to make it through our own test…”

---

Eggmanland Zone Act 3: Silver, Vector, Marine, Dimitri, Sonic, and Sly head off to the ‘Dr. M’s Takeover of the Cooper Vault’ attraction to make their way over to Eggman. Similar to the gauntlet that was the Cooper Vault, the 6 must make their way past the challenges the original vault had, with the bonus of having swimmers to swim past some if need be (Like Dimitri can’t hug the walls, so he’d have to skip the swinging hammer sections.). The fun ends though when they reach what was Conner Cooper’s skill, the laser slide. Only Sonic and Sly can make it past that and are left to face Eggman and Arpeggio Clockwerk alone as the others get everyone together to find a different way to them.

*At the start.*

Eggman’s PA announcement: “Welcome to ‘Dr. M’s Takeover of the Cooper Vault’ attraction! Think you can make it past these gauntlet of trials to the treasure hidden at the end? Probably not, but it’d be funny to see you try.”

Sonic: “Eggman hamming it up, as usual.”

Sly: “I don’t really like that he knew personal information of Kaine Island. Least it’s useless to go back there now.”

Dimitri: “Remind me what we are doing here again?”

Sly: “It’s a clear replica of Kaine Island and the vault, so they must be hiding something big at the back end.”

Silver: “Or someone. I feel at least one person over there.”

Vector: “Then what are we doing standing around? Let’s tackle this place!”

Marine: “Argh! To the end of this wondrous adventure! Hurry on, lads!”

*Near the end of the act, at the start of Conner Cooper’s section*

Sonic: “Whew, that was a workout. Looks like we’re at a dead end, though.”

Sly: “Not really. It’s my dad’s section. He perfected a move called the laser slide.” *Sly starts a machine that sends a laser to the last cave.* “The only problem is only I know it.”

Sonic: “I could probably do it too. I’ve rail slided a lot in my time.”

Silver: “Maybe I should stay behind with the others and find a different way to you guys?”

Sly: “You might have to. There’s lots of lasers this way, and Murray is way too big to go through this.”

Silver: “Okay, I’ll gather the others and we’ll find a different way. But you guys are probably going to be left alone.”

Sonic: “Heh, no need to worry, Silver. We got this.”

Sly: “I’ve faced these dangerous situations before too. And with Sonic, I’m sure we can handle anything coming.”

Silver: “Alright. Good luck then!”

---

Eggmanland Zone Act 4 (BOSS): Sonic and Sly are left all alone to deal with their greatest foe…

Sly: “Hmmm… it’s quite dark compared to the rest of the park here.”

Sonic: “It’s Eggman’s surprise. Okay Eggface! We’re here! Show yourself!”

Eggman: “If you insist…”

*The lights come on to show Eggman next to a portal, and next to that, a console connected to a strange laser.*

Sonic: “Spill it, Eggman! What are you doing so we can stop you!”

Eggman chuckles: “You can’t stop me… but I shall tell you anyway. This portal leads to Sly’s world, at a point in space where I moved billions of Class M empty planets at. This laser will fire inside, and heat up a single point in that space to extreme temperature. But, this is no ordinary laser as it’s going to fire the laser to a point to make a miniature black hole. Say… your friend Bentley is listening on that headset of yours, ask him what’s going to happen.”

Sly: “Uh… Bentley?”

Bentley, over the binocucom: “Holy crap! Sorry for swearing, but that math suggests that the black hole will grow to a point that will suck up our entire universe!”

Eggman: “Heh he, a correct answer from goody-two-shoes genius! And once I fire this laser, your world is doomed.”

Sonic: “We’ll stop you!”

Eggman: “Will you? This laser has been charging since you arrived here and is almost done.”

Sly: “We’ll fight you to stop it then!”

Eggman: “No… you won’t be fighting me… you’ll be fighting your worst nightmare. Arpeggio, come!”

*Arpeggio Clockwerk arrives and lands between the duo and Eggman.*

Arpeggio: “Hello, Sly… Long time no see…”

Sly: “So it looks like you finally got what you wanted, huh? To be transferred into Clockwerk.”

Arpeggio: “It’s not exactly Clockwerk, you made certain of that, Sly, but this does almost as well.”

Eggman: “He’s built of the toughest metals I could find, so your cane will be useless against him, Sly!”

Sly: “What?”

Sonic: “He’s trying to get into your head. Ignore them. Don’t forget about me, Eggman! I’ll find a way to break it for him!”

Eggman: “Then why don’t you try? Arpeggio, get the revenge you so deserve.”

Arpeggio: “With pleasure. I will kill you, Sly, both for ruining my plans back then, and destroying me in those other Clockwerk bodies too!”

Final Boss: Arpeggio Clockwerk

Arpeggio has made his Clockwerk as dangerous as can be, with eye lasers, guns on his shoulders, sharp wings to swing about and also to blow you backwards, sharp talons to claw at you with, all within a metal shell that can’t be damaged by Sly… at least, at this point. Arpeggio is just going to be flying around for some time, using his lasers and guns for a bit before landing and going for a more close-up attack. The player is going to have Sonic run behind Arpeggio and home attack the Clockwerk’s back, then to the wings. Sonic’s homing attacks are going to weaken the metal to a point that Sly’s cane can break off the rest. Arpeggio will progressively lose feathers until nothing remains, which angers the bird to just stay on the ground and attack endlessly. Keep having Sonic attack Arpeggio’s back to slowly weaken the metal on the torso to let Sly break it apart to pieces too. Soon, it’ll be just the head, with only the eye lasers to contend with. Either use homing attacks of Sly’s cane to break it to pieces too, leaving Arpeggio with nothing but to shut down.

*Once he loses his wings.*

Arpeggio: “AGH!!! A flightless bird again?! You’re going to pay for that, Cooper! I’ll crush you!”

*Once the torso is lost.*

Arpeggio: “You’ve taken away my body… I’m almost nothing… I’m going to burn you alive, Cooper.”

*Once defeated.*

Arpeggio: “What? Defeated? … At least… I got killed in honor, rather than by betrayal…”

*The head shuts off.*

-----

The Getaway:

*Everyone arrives once the battle is done.*

Marine: “Aw! We missed the big battle!”

Murray: “I hope you walloped him good for ‘The Murray’!”

Sly: “Always do, Murray.”

Sonic: “Now we deal with you, Eggman.”

Eggman: “You’re too late, fools!” *He fires the laser into the portal, and seconds later, he shuts down the portal once the laser is done.* “The damage is done. By the time you get back to your van, your world will be gone.”

Murray: “G-gone?”

Eggman: “Gone. Nothing but the inside of a black hole. I guess it’s good luck for you since you’re here and your villains are back in your dying world.”

Bentley: “That’s so… diabolical that there’s not even a term that can describe it!”

Eggman: “Good. That’s what I was aiming for.”

Sly wanted to say something, but was too distraught to speak.

Eggman chuckles: “What’s wrong, raccoon? No witty quip to acknowledge everything will be okay? No comforting words for your friends? No payback to offer to me? Heh he… or have you realized… that I have single-handedly done what Clockwerk wished he could do? That I have erased the Cooper lineage and everything they’ve done? That now… you are completely alone…?”

*Sly couldn’t say anything, and the hand he was pointing at Eggman was starting to shake. He soon dropped his cane, which caught the attention of the others.*

Sly collapsed to his hands, his heart pounding.He only uttered: “It’s… all gone?”

Eggman smirked, only him knowing the real truth. He ushers his lie like a complete braggart: “Yes… all gone. Nothing for you and your leftover friends. Heh he.”

Bentley: “S-Sly…” *Bentley tried to think of something to say to help his friend, but nothing could come out. Dimitri and Panda King could do nothing but close their eyes in sadness.*

Eggman: “Not the orphanage, not your ancestors, not your heists. To misquote Casablanca: ‘You don’t even have Paris.’.”

Murray went over to at least hold Sly in his hands. “At least… you got us, Sly.”

Eggman: “Do you? Really? There’s nothing connecting any of your ragtag group of ‘friends. Heh he, well, there is Penelope. Without her, none of this would have came to fruition.”

Penelope was taken aback. “W-what?”

Eggman: “Yes. Without you, you wouldn’t have pulled your friends onto this adventure, lead me to your villains, even gave me the idea of stealing the Cooper knowledge.” *He chuckles at the last item, which was a lie not brought on by Penelope.*

Bentley rolls over and puts a hand in Penelope’s. “N-no! You’re lying! How can you call yourself a genius when you manipulate people like this?!”

Eggman: “Then you don’t know me at all, you small-minded turtle. To be short, and as Sonic and his friends know, that’s just what I am.”

*Sonic and the others looked away, not being able to deny Eggman’s claim.*

Eggman: “In any effect, your loss is my gain. I am ever closer of achieving that dream of the Eggman Empire, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.”

Carmelita gives a small smile, thinking she can mess with Eggman. “It’s hard to do that in handcuffs, though. You know you’re under arrest, right?”

Eggman’s smile didn’t fade, which ruined Carmelita’s smile. “Oh? I am? It’s hard to arrest someone… who’s just a dead robot.”

Everyone: “What?”

‘Eggman’s’ eyes change to a timer counting down from 9. “We’ll meet again, fools. You won’t know where or when, but we’ll meet again… on a sunny day.”

*As the song ‘We’ll Meet Again’ plays, the Eggman explodes like a bomb went off in the chest area. All that’s left is a broken Eggman robot, which bellows in laughter until the battery dies.*

Sonic: “Fooled again… What is he doing...”

Sonic, narrating: “It was a solemn trek back down the elevator. We checked with the van, and it was true, Sly’s world didn’t exist anymore.”

Dimitri: “Our world… it is kaput.”

Panda King: “Its flame… has been snuffed out.”

Sonic: “I know it’s not much, but you guys can stay here as long as you want.”

Carmelita: “Thanks, Sonic.”

*A credits roll later.*

-----

????: “Heh he. Another world sent away, and now lots of people to enslave. The start of our Empire has begun.”

*****: “You sure showed that pincushion up again. We’re messing with him hard.”

????: “Yes. And the data we got from the Coopers will make the perfect copy… but we still have plenty more work ahead of us.”

*****: “My turn again, right?”

????: “Yep. And you’re off to that futuristic world, home of an annoying lombax. We need the minerals found in the world to make a tough metal for a blade.”

*****: “I shall not fail you.”

????: “The world is inching closer to our empire…. Soon, all of it will be ours…”

To Be Continued ~>

#Isakthedragon's fanfiction #Super Sonic Thieves #Super Sonic Thieves Finale #SST #SST: Finale #Hmm...#The volcano Clockwork hid at #Arpeggio's Blimp #And the Cooper Vault #It's a finale of Sly Finales if you ask me. :P

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ducktracy · 5 years

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138. porky the rain-maker (1936)

release date: august 1st, 1936

series: looney tunes

director: tex avery

starring: joe dougherty (porky, porky’s father), tedd pierce (narrator), earle hodgins (salesman)

the first cartoon to have a narrator! tex in particular would play around with narrators, whether it be in his travelogues or to serve as important plot devices like in the village smithy. this is also the first cartoon where porky is considerably slimmed down—he’d fluctuate weight, especially contrasted with tashlin’s large interpretation for him, but especially with the addition of ub iwerks and eventually bob clampett in 1937, porky shifted onto a diet, tashlin the last one to slim him down after porky’s double trouble. here, porky and his farmer father are in the midst of a treacherous drought. porky spends their remaining money on a selection of pills rumored to bring on any weather event at will. however, trouble strikes when the farm animals accidentally eat the miracle pills instead.

tedd pierce fills us in as we open to a long, beautiful pan of a farm. an overlay of visible heatwaves paired with his commentary indicates that we’re in the midst of a severe drought. “valuable crops scorched by blistering heatwave! shortage of feed threatens farmers with ruin—their only hope is rain!” zoom in on an apple tree that wilts in an instant. “uh-oh, looks like there’ll be no shade—“ a chorus of hilariously dissonant voices join in, singing the classic “—under the old apple tree.” all of the crops suffer from the heat: apples shrivel up in seconds, corn stalks are stripped of their contents... we even hone in on some more predictable yet slightly rewarding puns, such as water boiling inside watermelons or eggplants cracking open and frying eggs on the ground.

porky and his father observe the drought solemnly, porky’s father (dougherty once more, only speaking in his natural voice, stutter and all) lamenting “worry, worry, worry.” a clamor from various farm animals calls over their attention, and they approach the barn to see what all the fuss is about.

as the narrator implied, there’s been a lack of feed thanks to the drought. no crops to sell, no money to make, no feed to buy. the animals are none too pleased, forming their own union and going on strike. haughty hens strut along, one carrying a sign reading “NO FEED — NO EGGS!”, the hen behind her matching with a simple “DITTO!”. a disgruntled horse is next, “NO FEED NO WORK” plastered on his side. a cow marches along with her nose in the air, her udders protected by a barrel that reads “CLOSED SHOP”—a very amusing gag that works both ways. of course, closed shop implies that she isn’t giving out any milk, but it’s also a labor union term. essentially, only those in the union can work at the shop/place of business. and, of course, only the cow can give the milk. how can you have milk if you don’t have any udders to milk? if you didn’t know tex liked gags, you do now.

despairingly, porky’s father reaches into his pocket and pulls out a sock, complete with a clasp at the top. he opens it, stuttering “here, my son. take our last dollar—“ he fishes in the sock for a dollar coin, “—and buy them animals some feed.” porky accepts the coin and heads on into town.

just as he’s about to stroll into the general store for some feed, a sharp voice catches his ear. in the middle of town proudly stands a merchant on his stage, selling a product to the congregation around him. the sign behind him tellingly reads DR. QUACK’S FAMOUS RAIN PILLS — $1.00. sure enough, dr. quack is ranting and raving: “now friends, i’m here today to advertise my famous rain pills!” earle hodgins does a wonderful job of the salesman, his lines full of energy and greedy passion. he lures his audience in, asking if they’re fed up with their dying crops thanks to this treacherous drought. he holds up his box of pills, assuring that they can bring instant rain. “each and every one of these capsules is guaranteed to make it rain where and when you want it!”

the cost? as the sign behind him advertises: a dollar. clever execution and timing as little porky pops his head up in the front row of the crowd at mere mention of the cost. to make the deal even sweeter, anyone who purchases a rain pill gets a free box of assorted pills with all the weather events you can think of. rain! snow! ice! lightning! thunder! tornadoes! earthquakes! fog! wind! you name it, it’s there in that measly little box! porky is absolutely enraptured, hoisting himself up to lean on the platform so he doesn’t miss a single beat. wonderful comedic timing as the salesman seamlessly pauses his long-winded rant just to shoo porky away, nudging him with his cane and instructing “don’t lean on the platform, son, you bother me.”

porky obeys, still taking in every word as the salesman blabbers “i’m going to pass out... these umbrellas!” (more fantastic timing and a great gag), distributing umbrellas to the crowd to showcase a demonstration. once everyone is armed with their umbrellas, dr. quack stuffs a rain pill in a little tube and spits it into the air. the pill is propelled into the air and explodes.

sure enough, the clouds grow heavy and dark, real rain showering upon every citizen in the square. porky is just beside himself as he sticks his hand out to feel the raindrops—“oh boy! real rain!” dr. quack eyes his audience, asking “now who’s gonna be first to buy one of these rain pills?” zero hesitation or remorse as porky fishes in his pocket and thrusts his father’s last earnings into the greedy hands of dr. quack, who hands him the fated pandora’s box. porky heads back to the farm, ready to knock the socks off his father.

porky’s father paces along, still muttering “worry, worry, worry” all the way. his face brightens up as he sees his loyal little boy marching towards him with the feed he so diligently went to the store to buy. feed in the shape of a box. with pills inside the box. rightfully so, porky’s father is furious. “PILLS!? i told ya to get FEED, not PILLS!” porky, unable to decipher why his father is so angry, ducks as his father tosses the useless box away.

the contents of the box scatter all across the farm. one of the picketing hens stumbles upon a spare pill, a lightning pill. mistaking it as feed, the hen happily gobbles down her food and grins contentedly at the audience. however, her delight is quickly put to a stop as volts of incomprehensible electricity jolt through her body and electrocute her. she flops to the ground, winded, and attempts to run for her life, squawking along the way. it’s too late—she turns into a literal lightning bolt as she tries to outrun from herself. the entire gag, from the contented grin to initial jolting reaction to turning into a lightning bolt in the midst of a frenzy would be reused in porky’s duck hunt, with daffy and an electric eel substituting the chicken and her lightning pill.

elsewhere, the picketing horse stumbles upon a fog pill and wastes no time ingesting it, too. a cloud of fog grows around his stomach, and in no time his surroundings are shrouded in mist. a horsefly (literally a horse with fly wings, which would serve as a minor plot point in a similar tex porky cartoon milk and money) comments into a microphone “altitude 10,000 feet. no visibility. ceiling: 0.” the gag is amusing, but slightly incomprehensible and lacks a smooth transition. enough to get the gist, though. meanwhile, a curious goose gobbles down both a thunder and wind pill, its body shuddering and shaking around as it regurgitates artificial wind from its body, blowing around aimlessly.

porky and his father observe in steely silence, his father glowering and sulking. helpful is porky, who finally pipes up with “there’s a pill there that’ll make real rain, pa.” porky’s father freezes. he whips his head around: “well why didn’t ya say so? where is it?” he crawls through the wooden fence and gets down on all fours, searching on his hands and knees for the fated miracle pill.

spotting a cyclone pill, porky reaches out to grab it. unfortunately for him, a chicken swoops in and swallows it before he can retrieve it. porky’s predictably peeved, glowering at the chicken, but his anger turns into awe as the chicken is whisked away into her own personal tornado. things finally settle down, and all that’s left is a nude chicken with a single tail feather. she glares at her feather, but it too turns into a mini cyclone and flies away. hilariously deadpan, she turns to the camera and gasps “well, imagine that.” not at all unlike an oswald short tex worked on in 1933, the zoo, a bear’s fur reduced to shreds thanks to a swarm of hungry moths. instead of screaming or overreacting, the bear also mildly states “well, imagine that.”

never mind the cyclone pill—porky spots another pill scattered on the ground, an earthquake pill. he reaches for it, and yet again another hungry chicken swallows the pill. this time an earthquake erupts in her body. amusing incongruity as the hen stalks away with her beak held high in the air, interrupted by frantic bursts of spasms and shakes. she clings to a tree for support, the entire landscape around her shaking. when the earthquake has finally paused, she ogles at the camera in disbelief.

porky and his father continue to search for the remaining pills, crawling on their hands and knees. porky finds something in the distance and trots over to it. sure enough, the fated rain pill is right in his reach! surely nothing can go wrong now, right?

wrong! the goose who had swallowed the thunder and wind pills is still aimlessly blowing around the farm uncontrollably. it knocks right into porky, tossing both of them to the ground. nevertheless, the goose is unscathed, seldom hesitating as it gobbles up the rain pill. porky ever so calmly and politely wrings the goose’s neck, calling it a varmint. he opens the goose’s beak and peers inside. no sign of the pill. frustrated, porky grabs the head of the goose and slams it on the ground, the goose settling back to normal as its head bounces back up. sweet, mild mannered porky!

his animal abuse may bring about some good after all. the goose, now shaken up, regurgitates the rain pill, sending it flying into the air. with a familiar snap, the pill explodes. could it be? yes! it could! the clouds darken and dump buckets of real, genuine, miraculous rain. all of the farm animals (and porky’s dad) crowd together, all sticking out their extremities just to feel the rain, reveling in it and soaking up every single last drop. apple trees grow back to size, corn stalks are nice and hearty again, all of the crops spouting 5x the amount of goods than what they used to. a gag that would be reused in many cartoons (especially and situationally in swooner crooner), a hen eagerly runs inside of her coop and lays an astounding mound of eggs, poking her head out of the coop and sighing in relief.

the joyous celebration continues, and everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief. good times are here at last! nary a problem in sight, only one little caveat. just one teensy little issue that needs taking care of... the animals still have the pills inside them. the celebration is cut short as all the animals jolt, jitter, shudder, fly, you name it. even porky and his father feel the effects. the false sense of security is pulled off strongly and coyly. everyone poses defiantly at the camera, a happy cartoon close sting... and then silence except for an array of sound effects as the pills take their course. tex plays around with the iris out as the goose blows itself out of the iris and into the black void, where rain is still pouring down. the goose frantically pounds against the black wall, squawking frantically. the iris opens one last time as porky yanks the goose inside for good.

a very amusing and creative cartoon for sure. milk and money would follow a similar route—porky needs to help his father earn money for the farm, and hilarity ensues (and there’s also a horsefly involved.) i like that one a bit more, as i feel it’s a stronger cartoon. this one came off more as a showcase of gags than anything, not having too much plot, but it was still definitely there. some gags were certainly funnier than others, but this still remains as a relatively funny short. the ending is particularly amusing, with the coy “all’s well that ends well” poses of the gang and the orchestral swell, interrupted by the natural elements inside each animal. the first appearance of porky’s father, too, who would make a handful of appearances, even during the mel blanc era with porky’s poppa in 1938. not tex’s best cartoon, but certainly watchable and amusing. worth a potential watch!

link!

#lt #porky the rain-maker #reviews #long post #avery

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mandibierly · 7 years

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'Blue Planet II': See what happens when penguins come between battling elephant seals

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No episode of Blue Planet II has more action than this Saturday’s “Coasts,” which shows the lengths to which animals go to survive the world where land and sea collide.

One memorable sequence, as seen above, follows King penguins as they tip-toe through slumbering elephant seals on the shore of St Andrew’s Bay in South Georgia, an island close to Antarctica. It’s breeding season for the elephant seals, which means the bulls are vying for power, and since it’s spring, hundreds of thousands of penguins are arriving en route to the colony (where 40,000 chicks await, but also, as narrator Sir David Attenborough says, “a trial of endurance” that involves shedding all their feathers and growing new ones). The penguins just need to make it through the obstacle course of elephant seals without getting caught in the testosterone crossfire.

“There’s certainly an element of Clash of the Titans with the elephant seals,” episode producer Miles Barton says of the moment conflict erupts. “We’ve seen the penguins and the elephant seals on beaches before. The key there was, we got a handheld movie camera rig so that the cameraman could move in amongst the elephant seals as they moved. It was like he was the King penguin making its way up the beach, and he would have to move to the left or the right according to where the elephant seals were thrashing.”

King penguins march through St. Andrew’s Bay in South Georgia. (Photo: Mary Summerill/BBC)

“It’s quite a dodgy business — you’ve got to leap out of the way,” Barton says. “I’ve been on those beaches, and you do go along armed with a stick. Although a stick against a three-ton elephant seal doesn’t do much. But you feel slightly safer carrying it anyway.”

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The stakes are even higher on the coast of Brazil for Sally Lightfoot crabs. Every day, they wait for the tide to go out and expose their feeding grounds — algae-covered rocks 100 meters from the shore. They leap from rock to rock to get there, hoping to stay out of the water. Why? Meter-long moray eels and clever octopus. To us, it feels like the Blue Planet II equivalent of Planet Earth II‘s viral “Iguana vs. snakes” sequence. For Barton, it’s a bit like Mission: Impossible. “Every day, this wave of crabs has to march out to those rocks with the low tide. Then when the tide comes back in again, they’ve got to repeat it all over again. There’s literally a gauntlet of moray eels and octopus in every pool. It’s amazing how some animals have to live their lives,” he says. Watch the clip above, and we guarantee you’ll be shouting “Go! Go!” at the screen. “I always like to surprise people,” Barton says. Somebody said to me, ‘I hate crabs. I’m not interested in crabs at all. But by the end of that sequence, I felt really sorry for it.’ To get people to feel empathy for a crab is a hell of a wonderful thing to achieve.”

Sally Lightfoot crabs queue up to leap from rock to rock at Fernando de Noronha, Brazil. These crabs appear to be afraid of water because that’s where predatory eels and octopuses lurk. (Photo: Miles Barton/BBC)

It was a challenging shoot, though. “It was just an incredibly slippery beach. You’ve got camera equipment worth 50 grand. Half the time the cameraman had to be up to his waist in water, because everything happens literally on the tide line as the crabs move in and out. What would happen is, our local guide, Joao Paulo Krajewski, who had actually studied these crabs, would go ahead and he would just trip across the rocks no problem at all. But it was very difficult for us to keep up with him. By the time we arrived, there’d been a couple of splashes and we’d missed it. So we split into two teams,” Barton says. “It was the fast team just carrying a camera in the hand with a beanbag and then running across the rocks as quickly as possible, slam the beanbag down, slam down the camera, and just get the moment when the moray eel would leap out of the water. Then we had a bigger camera with a longer lens, and if the behavior continued, we would capture that. Sometimes we would actually have two cameras on the same event, which meant you’ve got a wide and a closeup.”

Seeing the crabs slow down, scuttle, and leap from rock to rock was actually comical at times. “Occasionally they’d fall short and land in the water. Then they just paddle frantically to get out of the water. Of course, as soon as you see one of these eels leap out of the water, you realize what the crabs are so nervous about,” he says.

What really surprised the crew, however, was that there were nearly as many octopus as eels stalking the crabs. “The funny thing is that the octopus were so reactive to any movement above the water, a couple of times they actually grabbed hold of us around the ankles,” Barton says. “I suppose there was a shadow. But they would try to bite off a little bit more than they could chew, really.”

A Galapagos sea lion attacks a yellowfin tuna that it has driven inshore. This hunting strategy only happens on the Galapagos and had never been filmed before. (Photo: Richard Wollacombe/BBC)

In terms of “sheer drama,” Barton’s pick for the must-see sequence in “Coasts” is Galapagos sea lions banding together to herd their prey — 130-pound yellowfin tuna that can easily outswim sea lions in the open sea at speeds of 40 mph — into a cove. Two years before a team was dispatched, cameraman Richard Wollocombe came into the BBC offices and told producers a fisherman’s tale: “He’d been having a drink in a bar, and there’s a bloke who says, ‘The sea lions run the tuna up onto the beach and grab them off the shoreline.’ He initially said, ‘Well, I don’t believe that.’ We said the same to [Richard],” Barton says. “Then over that period of time, we got this fisherman to go out and put out a GoPro. That took about six months to [confirm his story]. Then we took another year or so to carefully plan the shoot.”

It’s a behavior that has only been witnessed there — and it had never been filmed before. On the first trip, the Blue Planet II team saw the cooperative hunting. But it was on the second trip that they realized the best way to really capture it was from the air. “That’s when we got our drone pilot, Dan Beecham, out there, and just by hovering above you could see the strategy perfectly,” Barton says. “You could see two or three sea lions bringing a group of tuna in. They get narrower and narrower into this channel, and then nip into sections and culverts that are created by the black lava in the Galapagos. Then you actually saw that the one sea lion would hang back and block the escape route. Then one by one, they could pick off these tuna. Sometimes they were able to grab them underwater. But every now and again, the tuna panicked so much they would leap out and be flapping around on the beach. Obviously it was a complete doddle then for the sea lions just to grab them.”

An Atlantic puffin with a beakful of food for its chick at Hornoya Island, Norway (Photo: Miles Barton/BBC)

For an action sequence that really pulls at the heartstrings, Blue Planet II traveled to Norway, where Puffin parents take turns traveling roughly 60 miles roundtrip to feed their chicks. Just when they’re about home, they have to fend off “pirates” — birds, namely the Arctic skua, who want to steal the fish. It’s heartbreaking, but also like watching a dogfight in Top Gun as the puffins maneuver to shake the skuas.

“We had an amazing bird cameraman, Barrie Britton, who can follow and predict the behavior of birds. If I was standing next to him and I saw the chase, I wouldn’t know whether the skua had made contact with the puffin, or where the fish had fallen out, or anything because it’s happening so fast. It’s only when you review [the footage] that you see all the detail,” Barton says. “You’d feel so sorry for the puffins. Initially there might be one skua, but as soon as there’s a sign of vulnerability in the puffin and it starts to go down, or drop its food, then three, four. It’s like the starfighters in Star Wars. The goodies and the baddies. They’re just being chased. It is an aerial duel. The trouble is, the poor old puffin, because he’s designed to swim underwater, he’s compromised, whereas the skuas are designed for aerobatics, and so they can twist and turn. They’re actually plucking the puffin’s feathers. They grab hold of their tails and shake them, and it’s always to shake the food out. The puffin may have been out feeding and flying for four, five, six hours. It comes back, and then it loses its food and has to go all the way out again. It’s a sad story.”

Ochre starfish are the main predators of limpets in rock pools at Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada. But the limpets are known to fight back. (Photo: Paul Williams/BBC)

Heading to the rock pools of Canada to capture the battle between limpets (marine mollusks) and their top predators, starfish, Barton had another cinematic inspiration in mind: “I’d hoped we would get the best of Pixar,” he says, “but the great thing is, it’s all happening and it’s all real — all those creatures are that colorful.” The trick here was using time-lapse technology that could turn minutes into seconds. “You walk past a rock pool, you look in and you think, ‘That’s quite pretty, but nothing much is happening.’ But if you take time and move it the way the animals are experiencing it, then you see it’s kind of tooth and dagger, tooth and claw down there. All these mini dramas are just happening everywhere,” Barton says. (To us, the tone then becomes more like Tim Burton’s stop-motion The Nightmare Before Christmas.)

He loved the idea that he might be able to make viewers start to think of a limpet as a hero as it fends off a starfish. “Nobody’s interested in a limpet. But when it’s kind of crawling along with its little face out, you feel sympathy for a limpet,” Barton says. “Not only do they kind of look cute, but also they’ve got these cool defenses. One is a little protective shield that comes up. Who’d have thought that a limpet could deploy a [slippery] shield? The other is that it has its [friend, a scale worm] inside as a kind of guided missile that pops up from underneath the shell and gives the starfish a bite and sends him on his way.”

A Pacific leaping blenny in its nest hole in Guam, Micronesia. It spends almost all of its life on land using its tail to leap from rock to rock. (Photo: Chase Weir/BBC)

The last sequence we asked Barton to preview is a decidedly lighter tale. The most terrestrial fish on earth, the leaping blenney, lives on a few remote islands in the Pacific. “They’re extraordinary creatures because they have a unique form of locomotion. Every other vertebrate uses kind of the four-limb shuffle approach to traveling around. These curl their tails and flick — that’s extraordinary in itself — and they can go six body lengths,” Barton says. What’s particularly charming is that, like little birds or lizards, the males display colors to attract a mate. So they make their nest holes high up on a limestone cliff, then try to attract — and keep — the attention of females feeding on algae down by the tide zone and focused on avoiding being swept in by approaching waves.

“Any time a wave comes in, they leap away from it. This is the other fun thing about these fish: it’s effectively a fish that’s afraid of the water. It’s just like kids on a beach. They run down toward the waves, and then they run away from them. This is what the blenneys are doing,” Barton says. “But the problem for the males is, that keeps distracting the females every time they’ve kind of caught their eye. But eventually the females do head up toward the males, and they choose them. Then the males go completely demented, kind of wriggling and writhing. They’re not really designed for agile work on a rock, but they do their best. That black body with a bright orange fin really stands out. Then if she chooses, in she goes.”

Still, the courtship isn’t necessarily over: “The nice thing that I’d noticed was that the females weren’t putting all their eggs in one basket. They’d go along, sometimes they’d check out that one. But then they’d pop into the guy a meter or so down the way,” Barton says. “They were hedging their bets sometimes.”

Planet Earth: Blue Planet II airs Saturdays at 9 p.m. on BBC America.