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weasleywinchester · 2 years

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Save Yourself - Chapter 17

You Do Yours, and I'll Do mine

Dean Winchester x Female Reader

A new chapter my loves! Life’s been crazy and I’ve watched so many new movies/shows and my brain hasn’t let me circle back to this until the last few weeks! Thank you to everyone who’s been reading and waiting for the next chapters! I can’t wait to delve into this more 💙

Series Summary: "I promise.” Those two words would trap you in a life you never wanted. You are an artist, a hunter, a Winchester. And yet the pain in Dean’s eyes as demanded you live the life he wants you live, you couldn’t say no. You met the Winchesters by chance, found out they were real people. And you figured it was a once in a life time thing, but then Dean called you, and so did a new job. Both leading to the life you wanted, a family that didn’t begin or end in blood and a once in a life time love. And he said leave it, and him behind. Forget. But you can’t. Chapter Summary:

You know Jack’s not a baby, or even your kid, but you could sit and watch him discover the world forever. The questions he asks, the way he absorbs everything like a sponge, discover things he likes and dislikes. Dean on the other hand is waiting for him to turn into his dad, most kids do eventually right? In what could be the biggest fight you two will ever have, will you both let go of the life you’ve both fought so hard to keep?

“Hey you busy?” You smile at Jack from the doorway. He peels his eyes away from the laptop and shakes his head.

“Let’s go.” You nod your head for him to follow. “We’ll be back Sammy.” You yell as you hand Jack his jacket and throw on your own.

“Ok!” He yells back. “Wait, we?” He pokes his head out of his room.

“Me and Jack. Grocery run.” You shrug. It’s not a big deal, what could happen at the grocery store?

“I don’t know about this…” Sam sighs.

“Sammy, how can we tell him who or what to fight for if he doesn’t experience things for himself?” You wrap your arms around his waist and give him the best sad eyes you can muster.

“You’re supposed to only use that face on Dean.” Sam grumbles as he hugs you back.

“We’ll be back in a couple of hours.” You smile.

_______

“How long have you been married to Dean?” Jack asks as you grab things off the shelf and throw them into the basket.

“Ugh… two years.” Woah…

“If two people are married, does that mean they love each other?” He frowns, like every question he’s asked since you both got into the car. Like he’s truly trying to under the complexity that comes with being human.

“Not always. Some people marry for money, some for love, far too many for sex.”

“But you married for love?” He guesses. He’s been trying to wrap his head around how you could be you, and Dean can be Dean, and how you two are married.

“I did.” You smile. “I know Dean hasn’t been very welcoming, but his childhood, hell, his life hasn’t been easy. He carries the same sadness you do. He and Sam lost their mom when Sam was just a baby.” You sigh, stopping to make Jack look at you. “His trauma does not excuse his behavior. I just want you to know that he’s not such a butthead all the time. Between his mom…”

“Getting pushed into another dimension?” Jack offers, taking your hand in his.

“That and Cas getting killed, we’re all a bit unsure of what will happen next.”

“He’s scared of losing you and Sam.” Jack concludes.

“Everyone’s scared of losing the people they love. I think Dean’s also scared of losing everything he’s fought his entire life to protect.”

“That’s why you love him, because he’s a hero.”

“One of many reasons.” You nod, holding up a box of Frosted Flakes as a suggestion for breakfast.

“Why is there a tiger on it?” Jack frowns.

“Tony the Tiger is a cereal icon, and you can’t live without trying these.” You toss them into the basket and keep moving down the aisle.

“Did Dean love Castiel?” Jack asks, holding up a box of Apple Jacks. You gesture for him to throw them in the basket.

“More than any of us could understand. Losing him… it’s like Dean lost part of himself.” Truth be told, you all lost a part of yourselves; Cas was supposed to be the one around forever.

“And you’re not sad that he feels that way about Castiel? Many women on tv shows are mad when their husbands love other people…”

“Remind me to block all the reality TV options on everything. But to answer your question: no. Dean was raised to be a soldier, to do as he was told and take nothing for himself. He had to be mom, dad and brother to Sammy before Sam could even talk. The fact that he has chosen to love everyone so deeply makes me happy beyond measure.”

Jack nods, and you can see all the thoughts churning in his head.

“What about the people he chooses not to love?” Jack whispers, his eyes glued to the floor. He was thankful that you and Sam had accepted him so quickly, that you both wanted to help him learn. But the things Dean said the other night swirl constantly around in his head.

“He’ll come around Jack. Once he realizes you’re like us, trying to help the world be better.”

“Can I tell you something? Something Dean said?” He looks up at you, his eyes filled with worry.

_______

“Dean?” Your voice travels down the hall, the small echo of your bare feet following it.

“In here!” Dean answers from the war table. He’s been scrounging for a case, anything he can give a good ol’ punch to the face and keep the kid away from him.

“Have a minute?” You ask, leaning against the doorway.

Sam and Dean share a look; your smile is sticky sweet, voice smooth as honey, which means one thing: you’re ready to shoot someone dead.

“Sure sweetheart.” Dean turns to you, giving you the cutest smile he can.

“Good. We’ll be back Sammy.” You grab your bag and slip on a pair of shoes. “Jack I’ll be back in a little bit!” You toss over your shoulder as you pass his room on the way to the garage.

“Is it me or was that-“ Dean frowns.

“I would hurry before she kills you in here. I don’t want to mop up your blood.” Sam rolls his eyes. Dean shoots him a glare and quickly grabs his stuff. When he steps into the garage you’re standing next to your car.

“You don’t want to take baby?” Dean motions to where she’s sitting pretty.

“No. Get in.” You slide into your little blue Subaru and start the engine.

She would never give up a chance to drive baby… or for me to drive. Dean thinks to himself. He slides into the passenger seat and buckles in, his mind racing through everything that’s happened in the last few weeks. He can’t pinpoint anything stupid that would make you this pissed, at least nothing you should know about.

You easily guide your car through the familiar streets until you turn onto a dirt road. The same dirt road that leads to the same lookout point where you two started your life together, and the one place where it feels like you two might fall apart.

“My turn to ask why we always end up here?” He jokes, turning to you. But you’re not laughing; in fact, you look like you’re hanging on by a thread. “Baby-”

“Did you tell Jack you would kill him?” You push through your teeth, your grip on the steering wheel tightens so much he can see your knuckles are white even in the dark.

Fuck. Dean rubs his hand over his face, taking a few deep breaths before he comes to the same conclusion he always does when you two are sitting here in the dead of night: might as well spill it all.

“I told him when the time came-“

“Are you fucking kidding me-“ you curse, hitting the steering wheel and getting out of the car. Dean jumps a little when you slam the door but doesn’t move, watching as you put your hands behind your head and start walking in a small circle. After a few minutes he gets out of the car and walks over to you.

“He’s the son of LUCIFER!” He bellows.

“I’m aware!” You shout back. “But you don’t tell anyone that when they eventually turn evil you’ll kill them!” You wave your arms around. “That only makes them believe they’re a monster!”

“He is!”

“He’s a CHILD, DEAN! A CHILD!” You poke him in the chest, even if you’d rather punch him in the nose.

“He’s the son of the devil. Remember everything Lucifer’s done to Sam? To you?” He watches you pace back and forth, he’s never seen you this pissed. He’s the one who gets pissed, who yells and throws daggers out of his eyes, not you.

“What was Lucifer born as, Dean?” You snap, giving him no time to think before answering “a FUCKING ARCHANGEL! An angel, Dean! Not born to be evil! He rebelled! And you know why? Because dad wouldn’t listen! It’s God’s way or to hell you go!”

“That is an extreme oversimplification.” Dean shoots back.

“My point is even Lucifer wasn’t born evil. He was shaped that way. We have to help Jack-“

“No, not you too. You and Sam think you can save him-“

“We could at least try! He’s literally days old! He doesn’t even know how to be human!” You slam your hand on the hood of the car. We just told the men of letters to go shove their ‘all monster are bad’ ideals up their ass and he’s acting like this. You take a big breath in and look up at Dean.

“I know he’s half Lucifer,” You say softly, reaching for him, “but he’s also half Kelly. Sweet, kind, faithful Kelly. That has to count for something.”

“Does it?” He asks after a moment of silence. He can’t believe you’re siding with the literal spawn of satan.

“Yes.” You shake your head in disbelief. “Dean, we’ve all been saved from something. Fuck, Sam literally drank demon blood, and you didn’t kill him.”

“Hey-That’s my little brother, it’s different than being the devil’s kid.” He grumbles. “Why are you so intent on this? Is this because we haven’t had a kid? I know we talked about having them but it’s just-”

“He’s the last thing we have of Cas.” You blurt, feeling the tears forming in your eyes.

“What?”

“Cas gave his life for Jack. He knew before Jack was born that he was meant to do good.” You plead, taking Dean’s jaw in your hand and making him look at you. “You spend five minutes with the kid and you’ll see how much he’s like Cas. Just a baby in a trench coat.”

“Cas is gone.” Dean states, his voice flat. You can see the wall he’s building inside, an addition to the moat he’s already built around himself.

“You’re not the only one who loved him. You’re not the only one who has to figure out how to let go of the one person who was supposed to outlive us all. The one who was supposed to be waiting for us on the other side.” Your words get lost in your throat as a few tears free fall down your face. “We owe it to Cas to at least try.”

Dean gently wipes away tears that now stream down your face, disappointed that he is once again the reason they’re there.

“I can’t.” He croaks, his own tears falling down his face.

_______

Sam hasn’t moved since you and Dean left. He’s read the same news page about a million times but he still can’t remember if it could be a case or not. The sound of his phone temporarily breaks his trance, his mouth automatically answering the question and dialing another hunter to put them on the case. The faint sound of the garage opening puts all his senses on alert and he pushes himself out of his chair. You barely have time to walk through the door before he wraps his arms around you.

“Where’s Jack?” You mumble into his chest.

“Still in his room.” Sam mumbles into your hair. He feels you squeeze him a little harder and let go. He reluctantly does the same, watching you as you throw your stuff into your room and head towards Jack’s.

Dean comes to stand next to his brother, not excited about the ear full he’ll get from him. He watches as you wipe your eyes on your sleeve, take a deep breath in and put a smile on your face as you open the door to Jack’s room. He can hear how happy you sound, and how Jack happily answers back. The door clicks shut and Dean lets the air in his lungs woosh out.

“You'll never believe this. I got a call from Missouri Moseley.” Sam frowns, not bothering to look at Dean as he walks back into the library.

“Wow. What's it been? Like, a decade?” Dean asks, taking a seat at the table next to him.

“More.”

“How is she?”

“Not great.” Sam sighs, rubbing his eyes. “She said she got out of the life for a while, but something happened, and she needed help with a case, so I put Jody on it.”

“Why would you do that?” Dean scolds.

“Because we need to stay here. We need to help Jack learn how to control his powers. Jody can handle this.” Sam waves him off.

“Yeah, maybe she can. Or maybe she ends up dead because you wanted to skip out on her to babysit the Antichrist.” Dean snaps at him. We still have a job to do, and it’s not babysitting dammit.

“Dean, we need him.” Sam tries to reason, although they’ve had this conversation so many times Sam’s not sure why he bothers.

“No, we don't. If you wanna stay here and Mr. Miyagi this kid, knock yourself out. I didn't sign up for that, so I'm gonna go to work.” He pushes himself out of his chair and stomps down the hall to find you.

“This is when Cas came to visit my parents. The dogs absolutely loved him.” You smile as you slide through pictures on your phone. You’re sitting next to Jack on the bed, a box full of printed photos in between the two of you as you try to find every photo of Cas. Dean quietly observes; is that what you would do with your future kids? Bring out old boxes of photos and share the stories behind them? Teach them how to be good and kind despite the Winchester blood running through them? He snaps himself out of the endless questions, gently knocking on the door frame.

“Headin’ out on a case.”

“Have fun.” You say, not looking at him.

“You want to join me? Think Sam can-”

“No.” You shrug, looking over Jack’s shoulder to see what picture he’s found.

“What?” Dean raises his brows. You were the one who was dying to hunt, and who’s been on every case with him for the last few weeks.

“Be right back.” You tell Jack, sliding off the bed and leading Dean to your bedroom.

“Told you, I want to help Jack.” You sigh as you close the door.

“Do you have a work project?” Can’t just be the kid. Maybe this is what-

“No. I want to stay and help Jack.” You say a little more forcefully this time. Dean’s looking at you like you’re insane.

“You haven’t had to go home for a while.” Dean comments. If you two are going to fight, might as well get it all out there.

“Changed jobs.” You shrug.

“What?” He demands.

“Remember a few weeks ago you said ‘me, you and the family business’?” You spread your arms wide and gesture at the bunker around you. “This is it. Full time baby.”

“We should have talked-”

“Like how we talked about what to do with Jack?” You scoff. You love Dean with every fiber of your being but damn that Winchester stubbornness.

“We agreed to slowly ease you into this. This is not slow (Y/N)!”

“When have either of us done anything slow? And even if we did, we literally couldn’t take things ANY slower! We’ve been married TWO YEARS. Two years I have been living two different lives and I’m tired.”

Dean rolls his eyes, you’re being stubborn and it’ll get you killed and he sometimes wishes he could lock you in a tower where you can paint and sew and bake and not hunt monsters.

“But that doesn’t matter right? Because Dean knows best.” You curl your tongue behind your teeth. “So go hunt the boogeyman, I’ll stay home, away from monsters and eagerly wait for you to return. That’s what you want, right?” You shoot him a glare and yank the door open, leaving a stunned Dean behind.

_______

A Week later

“So, he is adamant that this kid is going to turn to the dark side?” Emma shouts from her spot in the kitchen.

“Ya, but Sam and I think he can be good. Even a hero.” You say. You’ve known Emma before she was born; she’s the little sister of your best friend and their family is basically your second family. You needed space from the bunker, because even though Sam took Dean hunting, you can feel him everywhere. Headlights flash through the window, signaling Natalie managed to sneak away for the night.

“Does Dean not-” Emma starts and is quickly interrupted by her front door slamming open.

“Fuck dude, it’s pouring!” Natalie giggles, trying not to drag too much water and mud into the house. She quickly sheds her jacket as you meet her half way for a big ol’ bear hug.

“You made it!” You smile.

“Dude, we family. Anytime you need me I’m there.” She snaps a finger gun at you.

“You got stuff in the car?”

“Ya don’t worry-”

“Nope! I got it!” You gesture for her to sit as you throw on a coat and shoes. You walk outside and brace for the rain. When you don’t feel anything you look up to see you’re not in Oklahoma anymore. The room is sleek and shiny, rows of books on shelves that seem to never end.

“Sorry to interrupt girls night in.” A smooth voice echoes around you. “Perhaps one day we’ll meet when there’s an actual death.”

You turn to the voice, watching as Billie steps out from behind the bookcase.

“There was a fake death?” You frown.

“You’ve been a Winchester long enough to know the answer.” She smiles. You slowly nod, your stomach uneasy from the look in her eye.

“I’m sure Dean has told you I am now Death.” She begins to circle you, eyes cold like a shark. “And with my new role I am privy to a much larger picture. One that heavily involves your husband and his brother.”

“And what does that have to do with me?” You ask. It must be important enough that she’s here to tell you to stay or go.

“Dean’s changed. He’s not the same pesky Winchester that refused to die. The one who always thought he could win.” She sits on the table in front of you, taking a deep breath. “He told me something today that surprised me. He was ok with… that he wanted to die.”

Your breath hitches in your throat. You knew this fight was bad but…

“He said that he couldn’t save Mary, Castiel, or even a kid. And that he was dragging you and Sam down.”

“He’s not.” You defend. Dean may be the world’s biggest idiot sometimes but you would never want him to feel like he should be dead dead.

“Exactly. The path he’s on will serve the greater good.” Billie pushes herself off the table, putting her hand on your shoulder. “And I need you to help keep him there.”

“Billie how-” You blink and are suddenly soaked to the bone, rain pelting you right in the face.

“You ok out there?” Emma shouts through the kitchen window. You turn and give her a thumbs up and run into the house.

“I’m need to call Dean.” You tell them both and walk into Emma’s office. You hit the speed dial and impatiently wait for him to pick up.

“Hey it’s Dean. Leave a message.”

“Dean… Please pick up. I need to know you’re-”

“(Y/N)!” The girls call. You walk back into the living room to see your two big piles of flannel standing by the front door.

“You’re ok?” You ask, you want to run to him but your legs don’t seem like they’re attached to your body anymore.

“No.” He shakes his head. You can see Sam in the background frowning at Dean. “I can’t save mom. Or Cas. How am I supposed to keep you safe?” He swallows hard, his eyes frantically searching yours.

“By being a team you dingus.” Your voice wobbles as you close the small distance, pulling him down so his lips meet yours.

“I love you.” You mumble against his mouth.

“I love you too.” He smiles back. You can hear everyone else in the room shuffle awkwardly, which makes you smile.

“Dinner ready?” You turn to Emma.

“Yes ma’am. Although my table only fits three so we’ll have to eat on the couch.”

“We didn’t mean to crash your girls' night.” Sam shrugs.

“As long as these two were back to being love stupid for each other, all that mattered.” Natalie pats his shoulder and grabs a plate. Everyone follows suite, the five of you chatting about anything and everything. As you help Emma with the dishes Dean’s phone lights up.

“Ya?” He grumbles into it. After a moment of silence you and Sam look over to see Dean in shock.

“What?” You ask.

“We have to go.”

_______

“How'd it go?” Jack eagerly asks, wrapping you in a hug.

“Well…” Dean shifts from foot to foot. Jack shoots an inquisitive look at you and you give him a small smile.

“Jack, um…” Sam begins, not sure how to say it outloud.

“What's wrong?” Jack’s face turns to concern. The three of you shuffle out of the way.

“Hello, Jack.”

“Castiel?” Jack whispers, not quite believing what he’s seeing.

“Yeah,” He smiles as Jack envelops him in a big hug.

“We burned your body, and what's burned stays dead. How…” Jack puts Cas at arms length, keeping his hands on his shoulder as if to make sure he doesn’t fly away.

“Well, that's the question we've been askin'.” Dean states, his arm wrapping around your waist.

“Jack… did you, uh… Did you bring Cas back?” Sam asks, all eyes shifting to Jack.

“I don't know. I wanted him back. I…” His frown deepens the more he thinks about it, “I begged for him to come back, but…”

“Well, here he is.” Dean gestures to Cas. Jack’s eyes flit from Cas to each of you, and back.

“Because of me?”

‘We don't know.’ Sam shakes his head. “We don't know, Jack. But we– we– we think maybe.” He shrugs, trying to gauge Jack’s reaction. Cas clears his throat and puts his hands gently on Jack’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Jack.”

“I missed you so much.” He swallows Cas in another hug, squeezing him with everything he has.

“Sam and (Y/N) tell me you're doing well. Learning a little about everything.”

“I am. I… Watch this.” Jack skips to the library table, jutting his hand out and concentrating on the pencil that’s on the table.

“Jack that’s amazing!” You clap, both of you sharing the same big grin.

“I can move the pencil now! And… I found a case. A hunter's case.” He says more seriously, taking a seat at his laptop.

“What kind of a–” Dean sighs.

“Zombies.” Jack states, turning to Cas. “I know what zombies are now.” He quickly brings up the news article and turns the computer so you can see.

“Wait. Where'd you learn to do that?” Dean asks. You can feel his fingers start diggin into your sides.

“He’s a kid, they learn a lot of things wicked fast.” You pat his chest, giving him a look to tell him to relax.

“Watching you. And Sam.” Jack agrees. “Three days ago, a vintage pocket watch with a personal inscription was sold at a pawn shop. But when they went to authenticate it, they found out that it'd been buried with its owner… 20 years ago. And when they checked out the grave, it was empty. Which means… the dead are rising in Dodge City, Kansas.”

“Guess we better saddle up huh cowboy?” You whisper to Dean. He gives your side a playful squeeze. You look over at Cas, who looks concerned.

“Right. O-or maybe it's a-a grave robbery, but…” Sam explains as he looks over the article. Jack lets out a disappointed oh, he was so sure this could be a case, another chance to prove he’s good.

“Yeah, but we should probably check it out.” Dean shrugs.

“Wait. Really?” Cas frowns, giving him a glare.

“Yeah, we've done more on less. Besides Dodge City's kind of, uh, kind of awesome.” He flashes a smile and starts walking the two of you down the hall. “All right, well… two salty hunters, the most patient woman on earth, one half-angel kid and a dude who just came back from the dead, again. Team Free Will 2.0. Here we go.”

_______

Next Chapter ->

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naruhearts · 4 years

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I’m done keeping my composure.

Sorry, this will be a LOADED post! (And I’ll be repeating the points others have made)

for real, to everyone being nasty and telling heartbroken fans that “Dean was always supposed to die get a grip you’re just butthurt etcetera etcetera—” F you royally.

How dare you police the brutal feelings that’s been embroiling us since the Finale That Must Not Be Named aired.

The show you think you all watched, the show you all believe was the same SPN from Season 1-4, changed at some point. Kripke wrote his original vision, put it to screen, saw it through in S5 as he intended, and closed the door on that era.

In 2008, Supernatural was adopted and inherited. As you know, there was a supreme paradigm shift post-Kripke era. The show FLOURISHED (we won’t talk about Gamble thanks). It evolved, transformed, grew beyond trauma-induced self-worthlessness and toxic masculinity and endless death and hegemonic social ideals and conservatism and repressive anti-revolutionary ideas. Castiel, the iconic favourite and beloved staple of the series portrayed by Misha Collins, was introduced in Season 4 as the core lead character, and he ushered in a brand new era of Christian mythos that SPN took advantage of. Longevity SKYROCKETED. Audiences were INTERESTED. SPN amassed an incredibly groundbreaking fanbase infused by non-nuclear principles. A massive subversive wave began, fighting the Status Quo of the times since 2008. It’s precisely why such an abysmal ending to a show of extensive Freud-Jungian metanarratively meta META complex stature and social POWER will render us totally and unbearably broken for years to come.

Point is, DEAN WINCHESTER NO LONGER WANTED TO DIE. HE WANTED TO LIVE. HE WANTED TO SIT ON THE BEACH, PLUNGE HIS TOES IN THE SAND, AND SIP UMBRELLA DRINKS WITH HIS BROTHER AND HIS BEST FRIEND. He said this in Season 13. And then, a season later, he told the ghost of his long-deceased father — the source of his deep-running trauma and the figure of self-reductive authoritarianism permeating his arc since Season 1 — after being questioned why he didn’t pursue the Nuclear Fam, that he already has his own: his brother Sam, his adopted child Jack, and Cas.

Dean’s best friend Cas. Oh god, Cas, who made his inevitably permanent mark on Dean’s soul beyond allyship. Castiel, renamed to Cas, God’s -iel removed by Dean. Dean, the human spark that lit the fire of pre-existing autonomy in the inherently rebellious angel who was, this entire time, the catalyst for free will in God The Writer’s puppet show. Their friendship set on goddamn fire. I can also write paragraph upon paragraph about my love for Cas while devastated tears stream down my face, but I digress—

Cas’ romantic love for Dean pushed our main Heart of SPN to love himself. Love is free will. Free will is also love. Of note, Cas’ love confession in 15x18 was supposed to offset something so vastly important and fundamental...to maybe (read: most likely) pull the trigger on SELF-TRUTHS in conjunction with free will. And The Great Anticipated Follow-Up to the episode penned by the passionate Berens should have included (read: seemed like it was going to be) Dean, closeted trauma survivor in love with his best friend, being given the opportunity to do it right: to SPEAK HIS TRUTH, and then that very singular opportunity was STOLEN so grossly. After poring over it for days, I refuse to believe we made their years-long story up out of thin air, spun it out of fantastical-delusional dream cotton candy, because we DIDN’T. IT WAS REAL.

As I said in another post: “I’ve just been feeling physically ill for the past >40 something hours with the terrible knowledge that 19/20 undid years of vital progression towards healthy interdependence, autonomy, and a positive endgame, where Sam, Dean and Cas close the ring of found family in final empowering self-fulfillment...where Dean, no longer repressed and set free, is able to use his words and speak his truth as a queercoded trauma survivor, henceforth confirming and self-affirming his own bisexuality since S1 by reciprocating — by telling Cas that he always loved him, too, loved him endlessly, which would have altogether divested Supernatural of its cult status and catapulted it into global worldwide significance as the longest running sci-fi genre show in American broadcasting history that actually dared to defy and, by proxy, empower LGBTQ2IA+ everywhere who found profound personal meaning in Destiel through VALIDATION,” — found themselves mirrored in Dean and Cas’ respective character journeys individually and as each other’s queer love interests.

THIS IS WHY DEAN WASN’T MEANT TO DIE.

THEY WERE SO ESSENTIAL, NOT JUST TO THE OVERARCHING STORY AND HEALTHY INTERPERSONAL THEMATICS OF MODERN SPN, BUT ALSO TO THE SOULS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD WHO FOLLOWED THEIR JOURNEYS, HOPED FOR THEM, ASPIRED TO BE LIKE THEM, TREASURED THEM, WEEPED FOR THEM, AND FOUGHT FOR THEM, LIKE YOU AND ME.

Heck, how could anyone think Sam Winchester had a well-deserved characteristic ending? He didn’t. Dean’s brother was shafted so badly. He stopped hunting when seasons ago, he had canonically accepted that he no longer wanted an apple pie life. He simply...turned the lights off in a resoundingly empty bunker and left — abandoning his dead brother’s room — never to return (he did return later to get the Impala, family photos etc, I mean this symbolically)...as if — dare I say it — Supernatural itself eerily told us, in the negative-spaced pitch blackness, that the organic show and the wonderfully complex, matured characters we’ve grown to love weren’t going to survive or be revisited...that it was all going to perish, and that they no longer gave a single shit about their own show, which, to me, is the worst cardinal sin, because how dare they throw Team Free Will, an immovable and indomitable and passionate found family they built from the ground up, a found family CHOCK FULL TO THE BRIM OF LOVE AND LIFE RAGING AGAINST THE AUTHORITARIAN MACHINE IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE FREE WILL, under the bus no matter who is to blame. Growth was stomped on.

Then Sam married a faceless wife who wasn’t his textually established (and deaf) love interest Eileen, named his son Dean Jr., and grew old miserably, still mourning the passing of his older brother, shaken and sombre. Back to square one. IT WAS ALL ANTITHETICAL, even OUTSIDE a shipping context, and I ripped my hair out at this point in sheer disbelief.

This 15x20 ending would have fit somewhere between S4-7. Now? IT DOESN’T FIT. IT’S A JAGGED PUZZLE PIECE THAT DOESN’T BELONG ANYWHERE. IT’S THE FOREBODING UNKNOWN STRANGER IN ITS OWN LAND, BOTH LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY. This kind of ending was basically an illogical, unsound cluster of metastasized cells that, to me, ruined the viability of previous seasons to sustain bold praise and respect and dignity and rewatches and classic nostalgia in such insidious ways.

Dean Humanity Winchester and Cas, after everything they’ve been through, were silenced and lost in death, ripped apart from each other, unable to love each other the way they deserved, because of disappointing, vile incompetency and homophobia. The greatest love story ever told, again obliterated in less than 60 hollow minutes.

You know what this tells your audience, CW SPN? Death without self-growth is the way to go, and no one is allowed to forge their own path to freedom.

HOW INSULTINGLY HARMFUL IS THAT?

I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving.

We all deserve answers.

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googledocsdyke · 3 years

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in all these musings about jender, has anyone discussed the fact that dean did watch a clip of jensen in days of our lives in canon and thus confronted Jender Itself in its raw unadulterated form?

god you're so right. now i'm going insane thinking about jender and the french mistake because like....... the entire episode premise has sam and dean comparing themselves to the haunting traces of their alternate self. like they never actually MEET jared and jensen which i do think is both fascinating and key to what makes the episode really work — they just have to detangle, half-horrified half-in awe, what kind of impossibly easy life these strange half-famous men live. using like, context clues. the episode mostly focuses on sam in ways that are very funny and iconic as this post outlines but you're right there is also some SUPER fascinating stuff going on w/ dean's masculinity

dean is much more visibly disgusted than sam at everything that points to jensen and jared's "softness" — their actor-indulgences and their lack of hunting skills and their effeminised "male model" career and dumb little rich boy details like the fish tank in jensen's trailer. i feel sick. he's going to be sick! you already pay these two jokers enough money as it is! and like, of COURSE it's dean who notices that he's wearing makeup (it's always, always dean that has these too-eager jokes land — or not land? — at his expense; marcusantonius: how do we know dean is performing masculinity? because sam isn't) he traces his hand down his face and says, in horror, oh crap, i'm a painted whore. and it's funny! laugh track! the man written as the furious antithesis of femininity accidentally slips into it again (see dean manifesto) and theres a whole HOST of deeply complex and largely misogynistic associations bundled up there about dean’s relationships (both canonical and fanonical) with sex workers, but it's also like...... you are a man. you are a man. you are a straight man and you PRESS that embodiment of yourself into the world every day. and then suddenly you fall through a window and someone else has put makeup on your face. who the hell put makeup on your face? is it even still your face? do you look better with makeup on your face? it doesn't matter. you're a painted whore. this is not your life. wipe this life off your body, wipe the makeup off your face. get back home to kansas.

and then the days of our lives scene in the trailer! again this is so Much because if they wanted to poke fun at the actors' pre-spn careers... jared padalecki is RIGHT there. he was in gilmore girls (haha funny) playing a character named dean (haha funny) who was the love interest (fellas is it gay to be in a woman-centric romcom about mother-daughter affection). but there's no POINT in emasculating sam, there's no punchline. so instead we get days of our lives-era Jender

and he IMMEDIATELY slams the laptop shut. don’t like this universe, sammy. need to get out of this universe. this is the tipping point for both of them, the moment where it all cements. you were a pretty boy on a genre INEXTRICABLY tied up with an audience of women and by god that’s the final straw

IDK MAN like you're dean winchester and you crash into a strange new universe and a man who is not you is wearing your face. or at least you think he’s wearing your face — you never see him, and maybe it’s you who is wearing his face, industrial-strength foundation at all. and people pay you to look... pretty, soap opera lead pretty, male model sons of bitches pretty, network tv good-looking pretty. you’re not just rewarded for this, you’re swaddled in comfort for this. paid in weekly checks, not crumpled twenties. you feel sick. you’re a painted whore. you know you wouldn’t be happy here (you and sam aren’t even BROTHERS) but there’s some strange haunting young version of you living in another world’s computer who looks just past the camera with soulful romantic lead eyes and maybe you don’t know how to hold all that knowledge in you! maybe you just want to get back to where you can kill something clean and simple and not think about catching the right angle while doing it. you will never meet jensen ackles. if you met jensen ackles you would punch his lights out. probably. maybe not! he’s not a hunter, he just plays one on tv. jensen ackles is a man pretending to be a hunter and you hate him for it, but isn’t that all you are, too, at the end of it?

#answered #dean studies #spn #gendernatural #i am thinking #....... i am THINKING #dean winchester: girl reiterated #god vaccine WHEN #Anonymous

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charcubed · 3 years

Text

Let's talk about Supernatural 15x07, "Last Call."

Or as I like to call it, "the episode that makes me go feral because it tells us so much about Dean's sexuality, character, and arc."

YES others have written meta! YES I will talk about it myself for the satisfaction! I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

This post was originally a thread on Twitter and I am crossposting it to my blog.

Alt image IDs are included in that linked Twitter thread!

Join me on this journey.

What's the context of this episode? Dean's been kind of down/depressed, feeling hopeless in the face of the idea that they have to defeat God (and not really working towards that goal much), and he's mid-divorce with Cas. He goes out on this solo case to try to clear his head.

And he ends up at Swayze's Bar.

Look, there are many things to be said about this. Dean loves Patrick Swayze. Arguably has a CRUSH on Swayze. It's very tied up in Dean pretending not to like "chick flicks" but he secretly does, which is queer coding. This was a Choice™️.

Speaking of Choices™️: professional actors made many here. Deliberately.

Dean is smacked on the ass by a woman and then Lee smacks him on the ass too. Dean and Lee CONSTANTLY have physical familiarity and fond eye contact. I will limit myself to 1 paragraph about this lest I list it all.

My point is that I just really need every person to digest and accept the fact that this is textually bi Dean. Not subtext; it's TEXT.

Dean and Lee had a relationship. Their history is alluded to in touch and in words. They had an orgy together. Dean's bisexuality is not repressed.

It's also now canon that Dean tries to hide that he can sing well. Most people don't know (like Sam) but some do (Lee). Hence "Eye of the Tiger" callback.

And so: that's also the implication for his sexuality. Dean singing ON STAGE with bi lighting is him being ready to be Out.

They dedicated an entire half an ep at minimum to emphasizing he's bi... and to Dean having a conversation with someone he (initially) trusts about potentially having a break from hunting, and what that could mean.

LEE: You're chasing missing persons, huh? I thought you'd be on to something bigger by now, like the Loch Ness Monster... Bigfoot.

DEAN: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

LEE: Damn, brother, that's dark.

DEAN: Yeah, it's been a rough, uh... it's been a rough decade, Lee.

LEE: Yeah.

DEAN: But that's a conversation for a different time, 'cause this, this right here, this is all right.

LEE: Well, I'm glad you approve. This is nothing you can't have, man.

DEAN: Oh, come on. Who's gonna kill the bad guys?

LEE: Somebody else. Dean, how many lives you think you saved, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? You deserve a break, bro. Hell, you might even deserve two.

"But Lee turns out to be a villain!" some might say. "Isn't the point that giving up hunting is bad?"

Nope.

Lee's a DARK MIRROR for Dean. He exists to exhibit the truths behind Dean's desires, and then what they'd look like if they turned bad. Take it from him: "I am you."

There are LAYERS here. You can't focus on the dark side and ignore the truths that take place in the (often bi) light.

The singing? The conversations about taking a break? Throwing men out of the bar, which is framed heroically? "Road House rules" (another Choice™️)?

NONE of that was bad. It shows what Dean wants.

Things only get bad–literally and visually–when Dean's tied up as Lee suddenly says wrong things in the dark.

The contrast exists to show that maintaining Goodness is a choice, and Dean would have no problem upholding that.

LEE: It's called a marid. It's a freaky-looking little thing, isn't it? [Lee laughs, and Dean stares at him, incredulous] Ah. As long as you feed it, it gives you money, it gives you health, everything you dreamed of.

DEAN: And so, what, it just costs innocent lives?

LEE: Dean, you and I both know no one's innocent. After everything we've done, aren't... aren't we owed a little happiness, huh? Don't we deserve that much?

DEAN: Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

LEE: Good or bad... the world doesn't care. No one cares, Dean.

DEAN: Well, I do.

LEE: Yeah. And that's what got you here. Now, takes a while to drain a man, but listen to me. Don't worry about it, all right? Don't worry because once you lose a couple of pints, you just fall asleep, and then it'll be over.

[Lee pats Dean on the shoulder]

DEAN: Lee.

LEE: This... this is not how I wanted this to go, Dean. When that blonde girl walked in here last night, I should've know, you know, Dean Winchester, the righter of wrongs, you were gonna keep digging, and you were gonna figure me out. And if it's got to be you or me, well, I got to pick me, man.

"No one cares, Dean."

"Well, I do."

It's a reminder to himself as much as it is to Lee. It's a re-centering of purpose that he sorely needs.

And what's also key? Lee is human, but is now a "monster" in Dean's words. Because Lee lost his ability to care, Dean can't abide by that.

(Side note: bonus for the fact that Lee dies up against a wall by being impaled and he coughs up blood. You know who doesn’t cough up blood in their very weird and unrealistic death scene? Dean in the finale.)

Remember: Lee is a dark mirror for Dean. "I am you."

By fighting and (tragically) killing Lee, Dean "kills" the darker side of himself. The side that's struggling to keep going right now... AND the side that fears eventually wanting a break means you must be selfish and stop caring.

He can keep going. He can find strength to fight God–and in the end, take a break and CHOOSE peace. It won't make him dark. He's the most caring man on Earth, even when it's hard. That’s reinforced later.

Isn't he owed a little happiness? And that's not in the having. It's in just being.

The bonus is what's going on with Cas in this episode.

Dean's clearing his head and finding his center again while Cas is calling him.

Come home. I need you. Remember what matters.

And again, contrast: Lee turns out not to be "real/true" in the way Dean thought he was. But Cas IS.

And after Dean goes through all of this... he's grounded again, he recognizes that even amongst questions of what God controls there are still choices to be made, he's reminded that letting his caring heart lead him is priority, he's lost another friend...

He comes home to Cas.

It's awkward. They're still distanced.

But this episode is a turning point for Dean. He's not angry at Cas anymore, he wants to talk, he's ready to move forward... he just doesn't know how to yet.

And if you follow the through-line... then you get Rowena saying "fix it"... and then after that is the Purgatory prayer.

I just !!!

S15 is packed with Dean development to hone in towards the end of his arc, but "Last Call" manages to hit SO many buttons.

• He's always been bi, & is ready to be Out

• He can want a break–& maybe run a bar like the Roadhouse

• Caring is at the core of who he is

It's about the CHOICE. It's about wanting to live your truths, and that "caring" can mean many things–from defeating God and saving the world, to making the hard choices when it counts, to maybe running a bar where people are safe.

14x10 and its matching Texan Star also say hello:

DEAN: How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA: How come you only want what you can't have?

DEAN: Whoa.

PAMELA: Besides, you don't want me. You just like to flirt. I'm a psychic, so I kinda know.

DEAN: All right.

PAMELA: So, still not ready to sell the bar, huh? It's a lot of money.

DEAN: Sell? This bar? This is my dream.

PAMELA; Yeah.

And I recognize that rereading this info is sad(der) now because of what we got in the end, so uh... sorry.

But that's half the point: it's repeatedly blatantly clear what we were meant to get, down to deliberate echoes in word choice–caring, happiness, deserve, even Roadhouse.

Dean was meant to choose to take a break, maybe run a bar–whether on Earth or in Heaven. At minimum, if Dean was meant to end up in Heaven, he was meant to choose it with eyes wide open. And the next time the phone rang with Cas' name (15x19), he RAN for him. He was VERY ready.

And the whole season tells you that. This episode is just my favorite.

So... thanks for letting me ramble on about it!!!

DEAN WINCHESTER: BI ICON, ONCE-LOVER OF LEE WEBB, THE MOST CARING MAN ON EARTH WHO DESERVED TO CHOOSE PEACE AFTER GAINING HIS FREEDOM, & SOULMATE TO AN ANGEL

And a very big thank you to the talented kings Jensen Ackles & Christian Kane, and their longstanding friendship. They gave me many rights with their acting choices.

Here's an iconic bonus for the road.

#supernatural #spn meta #15x07 Last Call #Lee Webb #Dean Winchester #Destiel #Dean is bi #took a lot of self control for me to not go FUCKING FERAL in this #char writes things

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awsugar · 3 years

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okay but rank frank’s hair through the years bestie

i’m taking this so seriously. maybe too seriously. 2007 long hair 2010 long hair 2013 long hair 2015 long hair 2017 long hair and 2020 long hair are all DIFFERENT ok. trust me. i’ll be ranking them in terms of how much i like them but i could alternatively also rank them in terms of stupidity...that’s a post for another time.

without further ado: mack’s definitive ranking of frank’s hair. this is long as fuck. you’ve been warned.

ok i know i said long hair is different and it IS but for my own sanity i have decided not to rank EVERY time frank’s hair has been some level of short and brown. only the ones that stand out to me.

32. short yellow dreads. what even was this. doesn’t even have the our sweet baby charm. dead last.

31. dreads. objectively also the worst. there’s something sweet about him in that era like our sweet baby is not to be underestimated but for ranking purposes it is the worst.

30. hiatus hair. wasn’t a fan of this at all. can’t pinpoint why.

29. 2008 hair. this is like non-hair. try harder.

28. 2013 long hair. many of you know that long hair frank is truly my beloved. but this just didn’t do it for me.

27. current hair. god has left the building. but i think he can bring it back.

26. late 2014 hair. not long or short enough. make up your mind.

25. turtle hair. both because this is from the snippy video and because he looks a little bit like a turtle. now don’t me wrong he was FIIIINE in this era but it was 0 to do with the hair and 100% to do with the beef.

24. basic tbp hair. nothing wrong with it but nothing great about it either. it just exists.

23. medium length revenge hair.

22. head tattoo hair. this was a heinous crime.

who did this to him

21. shrine hair. not as severe as head tattoo hair. he looked great from the front!

but from the side? questionable

20. 2014 long on top. this is where we switch over from hair i dislike or am indifferent about, to hair i like.

19. buzzcut/really short. this covers both bullets and dd. what can i say he’s pretty and he can pull it off

(edit by @cocaineandtoupees)

18. 2015 long hair. it’s like. yes you are beautiful and breathtaking. but also you remind me of an oompa loompa why is it sticking straight up like that.

17. early 2016 hair. like this is just some man but fuck if he isn’t pretty.

16. red hawk. iconic yes but it doesn’t hit as hard as its blonde counterpart.

15. shaggy 2015 long hair. it’s different to the oompa loompa. this is what i call puppy hair.

14. australia 2016 hair. i can’t find a proper photo that does it justice but check out these gifs by @iero. legendary and spectacular.

13. leathermouth dean winchester. there are like 4 pics of this and i wish there were more.

12. 2010 long hair with the blonde streak in the back. top points for combining long hair and peak stupidity. i would love to know what inspired this.

11. regular revenge hair with the devilock tucked to the side. SO stupid. as far as haircuts go. i’m obsessed.

10. 2021 reverse revenge hair. we’re in the home stretch now. don’t know what’s going on here king but keep up the good work the bisexuals are losing their minds.

9. barriers hair. as far as frank’s many forays into short brown hair this is pretty much peak.

8. 2007 long hair. what else is there to say. my love.

7. fuzzy blonde hawk. when it started to grow out...that’s it own haircut.

6. 2017 long hair. this did so much for us as a society. this pic exists somewhere without the watermark but oh my god. this gives me symptoms.

5. faux hawk with streaks. reminds me of those black and brown cats. just pretty. i promise you this is not the same as orange faux hawk. i promise.

4. orange faux hawk. speak of the devil. i don’t know why i love this so much but it’s the best. was the color intentional? was it not? we’ll never know.

3. long blonde. are you surprised to see this up so high? this photo changed the trajectory of my life. i was skeptical when he first debuted it in those pizza photos with a hat on but this?? incredible.

2. blonde hawk. ESPECIALLY with the freshly shaved/dyed sides. probably the most iconic look of all time and VERY close to being my number one favorite.

and drumrolllll.......

1. i’m not okay hair. yes this gets it’s very own. it’s incredible. never been done before never to be done again.

literally exquisite. if you made it through this whole thing congrats. now it’s possible that you’re just as unwell as i am.

#Anonymous #frank iero

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thegeminisage · 3 years

Note

wait go on i unironically want your thoughts on john calling the car vs dean saying "she"

okay.

firstly, we are discussing the tags on this post

secondly, i want everybody to know that this meta is the reason i ended up cracking open john winchester’s journal last night and became patient zero for this whole damn website spiraling about dean killing dead gay nuns. it’s all because of this! this is why we’re here today! stupid car pronoun meta!

anyway.

this is jumping off the idea that the car is not just an extension of dean’s soul but his body and hhhhholy fuck when did that get that many notes. alright! anyway to recap: the car is an extension of dean - he lashes out at her in his moment of ultimate self-loathing (2.01), she becomes dirty and neglected when dean is in emotional turmoil (1.21, 13.01), she’s damaged when he’s hurt (in 2.01, in 5.22, just to name a couple of the most iconic examples), she was kept under a tarp (shroud!) during the year dean was emotionally dead (season 5/6 timeskip) and after dean ACTUALLY died for good in the accursed finale (she even showed up in heaven because obviously she’d go wherever he did), he is able to kill monsters with her, making her body a weapon just like his is (11.04), she and dean even get stolen/kidnapped at the same time (also 11.04). she’s full of personalization and personal items - sam and dean carved their initials into her, the legos and the toy soldier in the ashtray - this is akin to dean wearing sam’s amulet and his father’s jacket. he’s picky about who drives her (because there are a very limited number of people he trusts with his physical safety), he knows her inside and out the way one knows themselves, etc.

dean also frequently refers to the car as both his only worldly possession and his home - she gives him a place to sleep, eat, and fuck when there’s nowhere else available. she gives him shelter in a world where there is none, privacy in a life that affords very little personal space.

dean, for the above reasons and more, treats the car like a person. he refers to her as “she” (almost exclusively - he used “it” when convincing a young john to buy her during 4.03, and there might be some early season examples i’m forgetting, but for the most part his pronoun usage is solid), he takes care of her better than he takes care of himself, devoting the kind of time and effort to her upkeep that he only devotes to family. she’s the woman of the family, so to speak, kind of the way dean is - they’re both acting as the stand-in for the missing mary, and he cherishes and values her. (the way a healthy individual might value themselves and their own physical well-being, if they didn’t have dean’s self-loathing attached.)

john, on the other hand, calls the car “it.” which isn’t really that weird by itself because most people use it pronouns for cars (sam calls the car an it too, it’s not necessarily an indicator of anything malevolent), except for the fact that john is a mechanic. much like a sailor is more likely to call a boat “she,” you’d think a mechanic would be similarly inclined to humanizing cars. considering that john was the one who TAUGHT dean how to care for a car, you’d think dean’s usage of “she” was yet another learned behavior, along with dean’s jacket and music and hypermasculinity.

but john never refers to the car as “she,” only “it.” john may place some emotional value on the car, just the way he places some emotional value on dean, but NOTHING comes before his quest to avenge mary. (if you were wondering, this is what sam was doing while dean was killing dead gay nuns.)

the car is important, but her biggest importance lies not in her being part of the family, but in her being part of the hunt. she’s a tool, a blunt instrument, just like dean. john uses her to get places and cart his kids around the country and sleep when he has nowhere else to go.

a good example of how john only sorta-kinda values the car can be found in his journal entry for dean’s 18th birthday:

john wanted to give dean SOMETHING, and while he was reluctant to part with the car (“i’ll still be driving it”), but when push came to shove and he couldn’t find anything else, she did just fine in a pinch.

could you imagine dean EVER giving away his car? every time he has, it’s been prior to his own death, or what he thought would be his death. and aside from the times when no family was around (2.10 comes to mind), she was always given to a member of his family, blood or otherwise - usually sam, who dean knows best and trusts above all others.

since the car is dean’s body, you can pretty directly compare this to john holding dean’s own physical freedom and autonomy over his head well after he reaches the age of traditional adulthood. that john only truly let dean be in charge or the car and keep it for himself once john ABANDONED him speaks more to john’s interest in controlling his tools than it does to him wanting to do something kind for dean.

the car is dean, and dean is the car. for dean, this means she is the only way he is able to take care of and love himself, even if in a very roundabout way. for john, that means caring a little - but not caring about anything more than mary. in the end, everything, even dean’s own humanity, comes second to revenge. no matter how perfect and powerful your tools and weapons are, no matter how much you may care about them, they’re made to be used - and, when they’ve outlived their usefulness, to be discarded.

[spn masterpost]

#deanwinchestergender #liz answers asks #supernatural #john winchester #liz's meta #liz's spn stuff #john's journal liveblog #kinda #it took me so long to finish because i got interrupted by sending the entirety of tumblr into fits about dead gay nuns #but here it is.

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tearsofgrace · 4 years

Text

endings are hard... but they aren’t impossible

tldr; the good place fucking nailed the finale, supernatural completely and utterly bombed it.

tags: wc--4.5k, gif heavy, spn meta, the good place, supernatural finale, spn wank, all gifs are mine, if you read til the end there’s a pretty gif

so i recently finished the good place (i was watching w my family and we finally had time to sit down and watch the last season) and god fucking dammit that ending is FLAWLESS. literally flawless.

and because i’m, well, me… i spent most of the time during that hour long finale thinking about how supernatural could have had even a fraction of that and avoided so much heartbreak.

anyways. i decided to compare them. to REALLY compare them. to get into the nitty gritty of why the fuck the good place ending left me feeling, as the finale is all about, sated and complete. and why the spn ending left me confused, lost, broken, betrayed, unable to even enjoy my comfort show at all until a dear friend finally just watched an episode (8.08) start to finish with me.

so without further ado (always wanted to say that) here’s the good place/supernatural finale meta that no one asked for

comedy

we’ll start small. both these shows have excellent comedy. in extremely different ways… but still

in the good place finale, the comedy was perfect. whether it was jason reappearing in the forest, michael trying to get through The Door, tahani reversing the “hot bod” bit on eleanor, every comedic moment was actually pretty emotional and added something to the show. they deepened characters’ meanings, added to their relationships, and made the audience think as much as they made the audience laugh.

in the spn finale… the comedy was the pie gag. the whole sam shoving pie into dean’s face. beyond this being… like meta as hell (the whole prank thing) it doesn’t have any depth to it.

and to add salt to the wound, this “hilarious” thing happens RIGHT AFTER salmondean have a conversation about missing jack and cas that is equal parts flat and infuriating. the brothers, in particular sam about jack and dean about cas, should care more. this is their family. and family is everything to them. but, no, by all means pie dean in the face.

last lines

this one IRKS me. okay.

the last line of the good place "I'll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe: Take it sleazy.” “All right.” is ICONIC. okay?

it’s a reference to season 1 that doesn’t feel fan-servicey. it’s kinda honestly emotional cuz it’s like a message to us, the audience. it perfectly completes michael’s arc. it captures the light-hearted vibe of the show while also somehow managing to be poignant. you can see it coming like the second before it happens but it’s also not the obvious choice. it’s just. goddamn it’s good.

the last line of supernatural…. is… “and cut.” not even said by one of j2. i mean i know it’s a meta show but COME ON ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??????????

now i hear you shouting wait but that’s just the end of the thank you message. okay fine whatever. in that case the last lines are “Hey, Sammy.” “Dean.” (i couldn’t bring myself to gif that moment)

i’m sorry but. that’s predictable. that’s obvious. that’s boring. that’s flat. sure, it celebrates the bond between the brothers. but like… that’s not what this show is about anymore. it’s not just about sam and dean winchester it’s about what they’ve created. it’s about the world they’ve saved, the family they’ve made, about how they always keep fighting but nope we get bland, boring, coulda seen ‘em coming from miles away lines for the very end. that’s fine.

montages

the spn finale is like 50% montages that don’t make sense and are poorly done and not emotional

the good place has a montage of michael being human that brought me to tears

timing

here’s another short section. the good place finale was 53 minutes long as opposed to the usual 20 minute long runtime of every episode. granted, the fandom of the good place is very different, but STILL there was no documentary telling the fans things they ALREADY knew (there was a short special after the ep, but the episode itself was still far longer than normal). it was 53 minutes of plot. of really fucking good not rushed plot.

the supernatural finale was… what 36 minutes long?? as opposed to the normal 40 minute runtime?? granted, we did get an hour long documentary of things we’ve all heard in cons and interviews a billion times so hey. take what you can get i guess.

character arcs

this is most of the meat of this meta. one thing we’ve all been harping on a TON is how they RUINED character arcs. soooo let’s go through and juxtapose some character arcs shall we

eleanor

eleanor shellstrop starts the show completely self-obsessed. she died getting hit by shopping carts while picking up margarita mix and let’s be real she’s a total icon. love her to death. she grows a ton, becomes one of the most selfless characters on the show, and starts to actually (jack forbid) CARE about things. it’s one of the most satisfying and relatable character arcs i’ve ever seen.

it’s not just her selfishness either, her character is super multi-faceted and complex, and i feel like even in the end we’re getting to know her better. she’s afraid of commitment, always worried about what others’ actions will do to her, loves the trivial side of life, is queer as fuck (as acknowledged by the show in a way that’s not harmful at all but also isn’t explicitly bi/pan/unlabeled/omni etc, allowing queer fans to see their own identity in her), and is all around a HUMAN BEING. her ending at the beginning of the show was her death. her stupid, trivial, meaningless death where she was, as she puts it, all alone. and her final ending ISNT that. yes, everyone goes before her. and i think that’s purposeful. to show that she’s grown enough that being alone in some sense is okay.

but she’s never TRULY alone. and in the end. the REAL end. janet is there. the whole time. because eleanor asked her to be!! she got over her crazy need for independence and simply asked for help. and eleanor dies an amazing person that has become selfless, has found joy in philosophy while still enjoying trashy content, has fixed her relationship with her mother, and has found a sense of completion. eleanor’s life ends on her terms, and it’s beautiful.

dean

alright. now just as you’re feeling all warm and fuzzy let’s look at dean winchester’s ending. you’ve heard it a million times, so i’ll be brief. dean was raised to be a hunter, a soldier, a killing machine with no feelings and no purpose. he was raised to die scared on a hunt, his life over because of some mistake he made because he will NEVER measure up. at least that’s what john and everyone else told him with the exceptions of some of his family (and family don’t end in blood). he started to accept that he didn’t have to have this. he started to realize that he could CHOOSE what his ending was.

the beautiful thing is, we never truly got to see what that was. i personally like to think it’s similar to the roadhouse michael locked him in while he was trapped in his own mind. a safe place for hunters, somewhere he (and cas in my opinion, but that’s not important) could settle down and still be in the life. it would be an amazing tribute to jo and ellen, and just all around a great ending. he wouldn’t have to be scared, but he wouldn’t have to conform to some apple pie facade of normalcy. and ya know what?? say that he died so he could have peace i dare you. because dean doesn’t find peace until sam is there anyway so i beg of you WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT.

dean winchester died scared. dean winchester died on a hunt. dean winchester died on one of john’s old hunts. dean winchester died not directly at the hands of a monster, but at the hands of a mistake. his mistake. dean winchester died without ever working through the trauma of his best friend in the entire world confessing his love in a final act of self-sacrifice. dean winchester died in a way that leaves a sour taste in my mouth and does not at all show the audience what he’s been through and how much he’s grown. dean winchester did not die on his terms, and he deserved better.

chidi

okay back to happy. chidi anagonye. by far my personal favorite good place character (don’t tell anyone i always say jason cuz he and i are very similar). chidi in the last few episodes is SO DRASTICALLY different than the chidi we meet at the beginning. he’s decisive, confident, self-assured, and it’s amazing to see. he’s not afraid of life anymore. he’s not afraid to make the wrong decision and forever alter his reality, because he’s okay with failure.

at the beginning, chidi was so petrified of life that… it killed him. and in the end, he’s completely at peace with every decision he makes, even the final one. yes, he considered staying for eleanor, but that just shows how his moral code and his compassion for others is still very much still intact. it shows the audience that you can be confident and decisive without being a selfish asshole.

chidi leaves the good place knowing that it’s the right thing to do. knowing without a doubt that his time has come. the old chidi never would have been able to fathom being that sure about something. it’s beautiful. it’s a development that can give the audience peace, can show them that this drastic of change is possible, and that chidi became a better person for all of it. chidi went on his own terms, and it was beautiful.

sam

… this one might be controversial… but sam winchester. god i hated sam’s ending. at first i was kinda okay with it. like, okay fine he got his normal life. but, really, in the end that’s not what sam wanted. he started to realize that he didn’t need that apple pie, white picket fence life. he didn’t need the wife and the kids and the backyard and the barbecues because that is NOT sam’s personality and i will throw hands on that.

that’s not to say he doesn’t want some sort of romance, maybe even kids, but not in that way. he lets himself see that he doesn’t need to be defined by his rebellion to john. doesn’t need to be defined by going to college or any of those “normal” smart kid things because it doesn’t fit him. and that’s okay! but how does sam’s story end? it ends with a wife (that isn’t even important enough to show her face). with kids. with a goddamn white picket fence. we think he’s still hunting to some extent… but it’s not the arc we were led to believe would happen. it’s not this amazing leader sam that we see in season 12-14, uniting hunters and organizing them.

he had SO MUCH potential and they throw it away on a vanilla ending that shows only surface level pain at losing his brother. he doesn’t even invite the rest of their family to the wake for fuck’s sake. jared did an incredible job. pls don’t think i’m saying he didn’t. but that script…. sam winchester’s arc was cut short. he didn’t go on his terms, and he deserved better.

jason

jason mandoza. the only character that has ever embodied my complete dumbass energy to the insane extent that it exists. he went to hell for his impulsivity. he never thought before a decision. i aspire to be as reckless as jason while on earth. but he LEARNED. he got better, just like they all did. and by the end of the show, jason doesn’t need to be impulsive anymore. much like eleanor being left “alone,” the show does a masterful job with making him be the first one to go, capturing his old impulsiveness. but he chooses to leave. he takes his time in deliberation, waiting until a feeling of peace, of completion, of well, ‘true happiness’ (sorry cas stans, i’m right there with you) has settled over him.

the ending of his story is one of growth, just like all these characters have been. and the best part? the show makes it comedic in the most poignant and beautiful way, because it’s jason, it had to be funny. we learn that jason has been in the woods for like, eons, just waiting to go through the door because he wants to give janet a necklace. he’s learned to simply wait. to be at peace with… nothing. his torture was being a monk, but in the end, jason embodies those ideals. his arc comes to fruition in an extremely satisfying way. jason goes on his own terms, and it’s beautiful.

castiel

this one is gonna hurt like a bitch. castiel is my comfort character. he’s my role model. he’s me in a lot of ways. i love him. so fucking much. so excuse me if this is slightly incoherent. i’m actually okay with cas’ ending… in a way. because his actual ending as an on-screen character? perfect. self-sacrifice while coming out and professing his love to dean winchester. a little bit bury the gays, but let’s be real, it’s supernatural. and “happiness is in just saying it” has to be the most powerful way to think of coming out. it takes away the fear, it takes away so much of the pain that can follow. because the joy is in just saying the words.

it’s how this was treated on the show that makes cas’ character arc terrible (and we haven’t even gotten to 15.20). YOU CANNOT JUST IGNORE A LOVE CONFESSION. that is god awful writing and i will never change my mind on that. cas deserved his family to care about him. to at least address and be sad about the fact he was gone. jesus fucking christ after everything castiel deserved at least that. and then we go to 15.20. cas is in heaven. cas is serving god. cas is right back where he started. now, i’m coming off a little strong.

if the show had decided to show us cas and jack in heaven makin’ the world a better place… i woulda come around to it. i woulda realized that that’s not REALLY erasing 12 years of character development and cas realizing that his whole identity isn’t just him serving heaven and isn’t just him being an angel and that he’s so much more than all of that and he could still be happy as a human… because really he’s with his son. but they didn’t show us that. they barely even mentioned him. and to me. that counts as a bad character arc. and i’m sorry if you disagree. castiel may have gone on his own terms, but they treated that beautiful sacrifice with disrespect and disdain, plus resolved his arc by putting him back where he started. he deserved better.

tahani

*deep breaths guys this is a long post i’m sorry* anywayyyy tahani!!! we love tahani obviously. let’s talk about her arc, because it always kinda bothered me. throughout the show, we see all the other character’s growing and expanding their knowledge of right and wrong. and, don’t get me wrong. we see tahani grow a lot. but she makes a lot of the same types of comments and shit like that. but it’s how she treats the reactions to those comments. by the end of the show, she laughs at the caricature of herself that the others see. she isn’t looking for vindication in name-dropping, she just does it. she is far less self-absorbed, and is genuinely interested in those around her. she fixes her relationships with her sister and her parents in a way that doesn’t feel forced and actually feels like a beautiful, healthy family reunion.

she has a list and she does everything on it. it’s worth noting, that the things on her list are not at all what they would have been at the beginning of the show. most of them are humble “labor” type tasks, and all of them are in self improvement. tahani’s end on the show is not the same as everyone else’s. she realizes that she doesn’t need to be done. that there doesn’t have to be an end to self-improvement. and she becomes an architect. the writers perfectly embody her transformation from a self-obsessed rich girl who has never done a thing for herself and laughs at the lower-class to a down-to-earth worker that simply doesn’t want the journey to end.

it’s incredible how perfectly the writers were able to close off these character arc’s without it feeling forced, and without ignoring their character development. imagine that. tahani chooses her own way, and it’s beautiful.

jack

jack’s ending may be the only one that i’ve actually somewhat come to terms with. it’s not terrible. it’s not great. but it’s not nearly as bad. because ignoring that awful monologue about every drop of rain and shit, jack really does end up helping people. he ends up doing something that he loves and that makes the world a better place. and he doesn’t lose his personality in it. but. i dunno, that’s still his destiny, right? to create paradise. and this is a show about ripping up the rule book, about choosing free will above all else… so to have every single character just fulfill their destiny is cheap.

still… i’ll try to be unbiased. because really at the beginning of jack’s time on the show, he’s unsure what he wants. and at least, in the end, he’s sure. he has a wisdom that he’s always had but he’s now using. and i’m good with that. but what’s NOT okay about jack’s ending is the lack of on-screen family. jack learns that family is important. sam, cas, dean those are the people he cares about. and you’re telling me he would just NEVER see them again? and be okay with that? i know he rebuilds heaven with cas, but we don’t even get a story about him rescuing cas from the empty. and he seems in 15.19 to not be that concerned about it (after the amazing emotional scene at the beginning). jack should have cared about his family. he did. but they ruined that for him. so jack kline deserved better.

michael

oh man where do i start. michael’s growth is the biggest on the show. i mean. he starts as a literal demon and ends a human. he gets better, he falls in love with humanity (*castiel fan in me sobbing again*) and he chooses over and over to be good instead of bad. his whole arc is a classic redemption arc, and every single beat just gets better. he chooses selfishly to side with humans but in the end it turns out to be the best decision he could have made. because he develops emotions, he develops compassion, he develops a moral compass.

and his end reflects that. because to complete this arc of a demon becoming more human… he literally becomes human!!!! it fits so well. and he’s allowed to make mistakes and be happy and gain all that humanity has to offer. this just shows that human!endgame for cosmic beings that become more human WORKS SO WELL (and it shoulda happened for cas and jack that’s all i’m saying). michael went on his own terms, and it was beautiful.

eileen

oh boy… this one stings. because they brought her back, used her up, and we never saw her again. eileen was one of the best side characters on the show, and they rarely addressed her arc. she comes onto the show as a hunter seeking revenge, and gets that revenge in the same episode. her s15 arc is focused on what’s real and what’s not, with her relationship to sam admittedly being a central part of her character because… it’s supernatural and women can’t exist without that. but still! eileen grows throughout the show and in the end… we don’t even know what happens to her. it’s as if her arc wasn’t important enough to even glance at.

it’s as if the connections the boys make outside of each other mean nothing when in reality they mean everything. they prove that the co-dependency is behind them and that family doesn’t end with blood and that real connections can be formed between people that last a lifetime. eileen was a disabled hunter that was shown to still be one of the best in the business, and they didn’t even give her the courtesy of a goodbye. eileen didn’t go on her own terms, and she deserved better.

janet

this is gonna unbalance my list but goddammit janet’s ending was perfect. she was a not-robot, not-girl that should have been incapable of feelings. but throughout the series we get to watch as she learns first-hand about human emotions and processes them. she cares about the humans in her charge and fights for them on multiple counts.

in the end, we see janet come to terms with both her cosmic being side, and her human side. she never stops being with the “cockroaches.” she sees them all leave, she’s there for them while they’re there, and she also continues to speak her mind and live autonomously. janet was a non-human character done right. she lived on her own terms, and it was beautiful.

some honorable mentions

spn ignored (in the finale) chuck, amara, stevie, charlie, jody, donna, garth, bess, the other angels, claire, kaia, patience, alex, and the list goes ON in favor of focusing on JUST sam and dean. did none of those characters at least deserve a quick goodbye??????

the good place wrapped up multiple arcs i had completely forgotten about in a totally natural and not forced way. mindy, doug forester, (the mushroom guy, i know, it took me a second), pillboy, donkey doug, kamilah, tahani’s parents, eleanor’s mother, eleanor’s friends, chidi’s best friend, vicki, shawn, glenn, simone and so many that i’m forgetting all got satisfying ends that they totally deserved.

they even fucking resolved FROG GUY’S arc and gave him a real frog. that’s right. frog guy (jeff) had a better character arc resolution than dean motherfucking winchester.

heaven and hell

obviously in very different vehicles, both shows explore in depth the realities of the afterlife. and lemme tell ya, at the end of the day, one sits a whole lot better than the other.

the good place finale ends this quest for the perfect afterlife by saying that everyone can improve and that an eternal paradise shouldn’t keep you from eternal rest. they pretty much make me wish that this is what our afterlife looked like. they handle everything with care so it’s balanced precariously in a way that doesn’t give you anxiety looking at it but instead fills you with peace and faith in humanity.

supernatural addresses this series long battle between heaven and hell by creating a heaven where you drive for forty years without seeing the people (cough cough cas and jack not his parents) that matter to you and drink beer that tastes like shit. a place you can’t be happy or find any sense of peace until your brother has died and he’s there too.

and hell… well they barely even address it. there’s a new queen of hell i guess? but so what. it’s still very much heaven and hell in a way that’s the worst and hey plus to them… makes me wanna stay alive thank you very much. oh and purgatory is in shambles and not functioning properly cuz all that eve bullshit.

loose ends

whenever something is ending, you gotta tie up the loose ends. not in a “oh, we must wrap everything up and leave no stone unturned” kinda way but in a “wow, we should probably try to make this unambiguous because this is the last time we will ever see these characters” kinda way.

the good place does that. so fucking masterfully. all these side plots with all these different characters were taken care of all while focusing on the main six characters. we get to see how their intervention has changed everyone else. for example, mindy’s arc is wrapped up perfectly, with eleanor going to save her.

plus different running jokes like “take it sleazy” are wrapped up, we revisit really old callbacks like the original neighborhood, and all of it feels natural and in the moment. it feels like full circle in a way that doesn’t erase growth.

supernatural, on the other hand, left a million loose ends open. what happened to the boys they saved? where the fuck are jody, donna, etc.? did eileen make it back? cuz sam was pretty upset about that. what happened to it “being loud” in the empty? hell, what happened to the empty? what happened to hell? what about chuck? it woulda been nice to see just for a second what became of him. did charlie and stevie make it (i’m very invested in that relationship)? if we’re taking the original ending… why the fuck is jimmy there? did kansas just all,,, die?

i’m not saying they needed to address everything… but god a few wrapped up storylines besides the brothers wouldn’t have hurt

coloring

can i just… real quick… as a giffer lodge a complaint

the good place has beautiful vibrant coloring in the finale

spn has like bland washed out whatever the fuck that is coloring. it’s not even the dark early aesthetic cuz they dropped that it’s just… ew. so. do with that what you will.

conclusion

first… while writing this i realized just HOW MUCH it’s not about destiel… like believe me. i knew i wasn’t just pissed about destiel. but holy shit it’s not destiel at all like did i even mention destiel that much???? this was never about a ship. this was just a trash finale.

in the end. the good place writers knew what they were doing. they knew their fans, they knew their characters, they knew their world, and they knew how to wrap it up in a way that was satisfying and sad and perfectly fit the tone of the whole show. it wasn’t out of character or rushed, basically every loose end was tied up without the audience even realizing that’s what they were doing, and i feel happy and complete having watched it.

the supernatural ending was a betrayal. flat out. to the audience that has stuck by it in a way bigger way than the good place fandom. to the characters that have helped so many people. to the actors that have given so much of their lives. to the other members of the crew, to certain writers… all of it was just a slap in the face.

we deserved better guys. there are better endings possible. so i’m sorry. i really am. but i guess… that’s what fanfic is for, right?

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loving-family-poll · 5 months

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Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 3

Propaganda under the cut:

Sam/Dean:

I'm sorry but they have it all. children of metaphorical incest just continuing the cycle in any way they can. they are brothers and mother + son and wives and each other's scorned lovers and life partners they've had multiple infidelity arcs they are sexually psychopathic together they have forsook life and morality and the earth itself for each other and just love each other so much . They are literally in a heaven of their own making together for eternity, incestuously. Come on!!! Blueprint!!!!! It's not gay if he's your brother!!!!!

dean did stuff to sam's dead body in ahbl. i just know it

Messed-up, isolated sibs with all the daddy and abandonment issues. Their lives are so claustrophobic with the brothers no more than five feet apart in the car, a motel room, or standing next to civilians (face it, they are frigging magnets). Can't leave out that they are always touching each other to check for wounds which is a huge PLUS for any shipper.

Sam and Dean ARE literally the blowjob brothers. They walk into a situation and everyone goes well well well if it isn't the blowjob brothers....... And they say. Yep. That's us. And then they fix the situation with their epic love story

THE classic, iconic, show shopping, never done before etc. etc. incest ship. It changed fandom and it changed the world

Sam/John:

Underrated Full House of Wincest variant. The younger son who defies his father in everything and runs away to escape the violent, isolated life he was raised in, only to be drawn back when his dad goes missing. It's all about the control/rebellion struggle and the love that persists despite it.

he's John's little boy <3 via John's journal we know John sees a lot of Mary in Sam. they fight a lot and no one can rile John up like Sam does. Sam is all the more precious bc John has to keep him safe from both other hunters and Sam's destiny

Their arguments and fights that look like they're so close to coming to physical blows. makes the hatefucking headcanons so hot. but also we can tell that they love each other so so much. and john choosing to lovingly stalk sam in secret at stanford to check up on him instead of actually talking to him <3

A father who thinks his son was born tainted? That there is something wrong with him?? A father who almost shot him because he beloved it was for the better??? A son who is compared so much to his mom???? Who is just rebellious and always butting heads with his father because he refuses to do what his father wants????? And so obviously his father has no choice but to fuck him, duh

#tournament polls #tumblr polls #incest poll #round 3 #samdean #wincest #samjohn #spn #supernatural #tw incest

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poohkeepsee · 3 years

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I was going through my AO3 bookmarks, and I wanted to organize them a little bit. These are my Dean/Cas canon-ish fic recs.

season 5

canticles by 2street2car Words: 10,311 Chapters: 1

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

FTBYAM MY BELOVED

post season 6

Someone Who's Feeling For Me by ellispark Words: 45,876 Chapters: 1

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

post bunker

Sun Can't Set Until Nine by LeverDrift Words: 67,939 Chapters: 16

Cas moves into the bunker as his powers start to fail. Dean doesn’t know if the arrangement is as permanent as he wants it to be. He's also not sure why he keeps dreaming about his friend. All he knows is that he wants Cas to stay. Overall warnings: canon-typical miscommunication & Dean having self-hatred issues.

Life Skills by ilovehowyouletmefall Words: 26,052 Chapters: 3

After Metatron steals Castiel's grace, and Cas comes to live in the bunker, Dean spends a lot of time with him, sharing all of his favourite things. Dean can't help it if sharing things with Cas just makes everything better. Besides, it's Dean's job as Cas' friend to introduce him to the joys of human life. To teach him how to be human. And if one of the experiences they end up sharing is sex with women, well... that's just part of Dean's job as Cas' friend too, right? The desire is triangulated, the rituals are intricate.

Sam Stole My Boyfriend by sobsicles Words: 8,445 Chapters: 1

“Dude, you’ve been staring at me a lot lately, like even enough that Sam noticed. More than usual. So, like, what’s up?” Dean pauses, purses his lips and reconsiders. “What did I do?”

Cas knows that would be a perfect time to confess to Dean what exactly happened and what he was thinking. Maybe, Dean had some insight into the situation or even some kind of comfort to offer. But, the longer that he sat there, he realized that he could not tell Dean absolutely anything. So instead, for the first time, Cas fumbled.

“Um,” Cas mutters and abruptly stands. “Freckles?”

Dean blinked up at him as Cas pivoted and left the room. There was only one remaining option he had and unfortunately, it involved Sam.

Aching in the Absence of You by sobsicles Words: 95,090 Chapters: 10

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back.

He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales.

"Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time.

By nightfall, Cas is gone.

'Communication' by JustAnotherSamlicker Words: 11,656

The same story told from two perspectives.

Dean bought a house and he and Cas fix it up.

Is Dean moving out? Is Cas moving in?

Should they just talk to each other already? (Yes they should)

Build a Home by domesticadventures Words: 20,102

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them.

He doesn't

season 10

The Most Important Thing by NorthernSparrow Words: 94,462 Chapters: 14

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car? (Canon-divergent from S10E11, when we first met Claire again and Dean was still struggling with the Mark of Cain. Takes places several months later).

season 12

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord Words: 42,922 Chapters: 7

Canon-divergent from 12.08

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

season 13

i want to do with you (what spring does with cherry trees) by sobsicles Words: 74,173 Chapters: 8

Dean keeps going back.

When he arrives, it's always to blooming flowers and a windmill in the background, not too far from a brook, the sun painting the plains.

He likes it there. He likes to stand in front of the makeshift urn and check that it's still where he put it, switching out the flowers when they wilt. He likes to listen to the sound of birds chirping, insects singing, the faint sound of water trickling in the distance. He likes to turn his face up and feel the sun on his skin, wondering if Cas would do the same if he were here, somehow knowing that he would.

He likes to talk.

There's never a response, but Dean feels the breeze rustle through his hair and watches the flowers bob when bees come to them and stares as the windmill keeps turning, turning, turning. And he imagines that Cas is replying—the windmill is the tilted head, the bobbing flowers are a gentle smile, the breeze is whatever words Dean wants to hear at the time.

Sometimes, it's almost like he's there.

Trial and Tribulations of Raising a Nephilim by Sickandtiredofyou Words: 14,910 Chapters: 6

Dean has far too much on his plate, losing his mom, his best friend and now being a single parent to a newborn nephilim.

In which Jack is an actual newborn instead of a teenager.

post season 13

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination) by sobsicles Words: 108,427 Chapters: 4

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next.

Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want."

"What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before."

"Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out."

"Easier said than done."

Reasons to read this:

Dean reads a story that ends like despair and his reaction is FUCK THAT

Cas wears Dean's hoodie

Jack is a toddler

The Jack and Claire sibling energy we deserve

Eileen being awesome and pulling pranks with Dean while Sam thinks she's an angel

Sam knows

YOUR HONOR THEY'RE IN LOVE

First Date by aeli_kindara Words: 8,968 Chapters: 1

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

Also known as the Dean Winchester makes the first move fic.

season 14

Broken Road by thegeminisage Words: 109,629 Chapters: 7

A 14.13 Lebanon rewrite. When Dean uses a wish-granting pearl to try and kill the archangel Michael before he can escape the cage in Dean's head, they instead wind up with a newly-resurrected John Winchester.

It's been more than a decade since John died, and a lot has changed: Mary is alive, Sam and Dean have what passes for a proper home in the Men of Letters Bunker, and they're living with angels. John doesn't know angels are real, he doesn't know about the fragile new relationship between Dean and Castiel, and most of all, he doesn't know that Dean said yes to Michael, or that Dean's plan to defeat Michael would send him to a fate worse than death.

Now Dean must contend with both his father asking questions he can't answer, and his loved ones learning about the darker truths of his childhood, all while constantly battling the archangel trapped inside him. But Dean coming to terms with his history may be the difference between this being the beginning of a journey—or the end.

post season 15

fools and pilgrims by lagaudiere Words: 31,904 Chapters: 2

Claire shows up at the bunker a day before Dean was planning to leave, with her hair cut short and a fresh tattoo on her left arm under a bandage. Chuck is dead, Jack has given up his godlike powers, and Cas is back from the Empty, which doesn't make it any easier for Dean to talk to him. Suddenly finding himself in a world without monsters, supernatural forces, or any need for hunters, Dean's solution is to go on a road trip. Claire tags along.

Dean-Claire mirror fic post Despair

what's missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles Words: 27,403

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

canon(?) au (Hunters and Men of Letters)

Dean Winchester's Secret (Angel) Boyfriend by reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent Words: 11,191 Chapters: 1

Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.

But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas...

Shot Through The Heart by peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim) Words: 11,191 Chapters: 1

Dean is a hunter.

Castiel is a Man of Letters.

And even though they have to work together on a regular basis, there is not much sympathy between them. Castiel thinks Dean too brash and reckless while Dean in return sees nothing more in the other man than a rude asshole with an obsessive love for books and a truly terrible fashion sense.

But fate clearly has a funny way of throwing those two together over and over again.

And somewhere along the way feelings change into something neither of them would have expected.

#destiel #deancas #fic recs

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deanwasalwaysbi · 3 years

Text

Thinking About How This Wasn't Actually a Denial

But was it self preservation?

The year was 2013 and rather than a denial, Jensen said "Don't ruin it for everybody now."

What was the fan 'ruining' for everybody? The Con? or something else? So if I was a tinhatter - and sometimes I am - I might think about other tv shows from the past that were covertly queer and how they handled the question, were TV shows 'out'?

Mainstream shows like Bewitched, you know, shows that are so clearly straight, you can tell because... well. ... they never technically used the word 'gay'. ... witches honor

SPN Film Studies is Back in Session! Join Under the Cut for more on supernatural & the story about how Bewitched! came out of the Broom Closet

Bewitched aired from 1964-72, it's so old the first season was in B&W. The show starred Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha, the strange housewife with a stranger secret. Her husband, Darrin, unwittingly married into the whole witchy family, from the now drag icon Agnes Moorehead's Endora with her open marriage, to the unmarried and batty Aunt Clara (Marion Lorne who played the mother in Hitchcock's heavily gay coded 'Strangers on a Train'), to the extremely coded Uncle Arthur (gay actor Paul Lynde). (We can't know for sure, but it seems at least 4 members of the cast were gay themselves.) The core premise of the show involves Samantha balancing who she really is with repressing that self for the safety and comfort of her family.

Samantha and her husband keep her [ahem] 'queer' nature a secret which gets harder on Samantha when she has to tell her daughter to live the same way, “I know what fun it is to be a part of the magical life ... to have so much at your fingertips. But we’re living in a world that’s just not ready for people like us, and I’m afraid they may never be. So you’re going to have to learn when you can use your witchcraft and when you can’t.”

There are plenty of generic 60s wacky hijinks but there are also whole episodes metaphorically about repression being harmful, episodes where characters asked if another was a 'thespian', episodes where Darrin was queercoded while under a spell, episodes about representation & bad stereotyping in media, and even two episodes where witches discussed whether it was time for witches to come out to the mortals, (whether mortals could accept that they were just nice normal people trying to live their lives like everybody else - or not - and would just freak out and kill them again).

When it came time to recast Dick York's Darrin with a new 2nd lead, Elizabeth and her husband, William Asher, knowingly cast the gay Dick Sergeant. (Although he wasn't out publicly at the time.) Then, when Sergeant came out in '91, Montgomery supported him and the two served together as the grand marshals of the Hollywood pride parade.

Dick Sargent expressed in the 90s what he would want in a Bewitched reunion episode: for Darrin to meet another like couple, a witch and a mortal who are married, and another, and another, and end up forming a whole community and support group, finding out that it was never so uncommon after all, that it was actually "about 10% of the population." The two would march in the first mortals and witches pride parade, saying they should have come out years ago.

In '94, Montgomery had this to say about the queer themes of the show, “Don't think that didn't enter our minds at the time. We talked about it on the set, that this was about people not being allowed to be what they really are. If you think about it, Bewitched is about repression in general and all the frustration and trouble it can cause. It was a neat message to get across to people at that time in a subtle way.” (x)

Interviewer: Are you concerned that your involvement in the gay-pride parade will lead people to believe you're a lesbian?

"[Laughing] I'm really not worried about that. There are bigger things to worry about. Like the presidential election and finding a cure for AIDS. I did the parade in support of Dick. I mean, in the end, didn't we all?" (x) (Montgomery was also one of the first celebrity allies to fight for LGBTQ rights and support HIV/AIDS-related fundraisers.)

So did they talk about it at the time? No. You can bet they didn't speak about it publicly. What would have happened if a fan, publicly, had asked Elizabeth, William, or Dick about the show's queer allegory content? This was a time when being gay was a literal felony. They would have had to have lied or risked losing the show, their careers, and possibly subjecting themselves to violence.

Now. back to Jensen and the Schrodinger's long con:

This was in 2013 - The same year that the Supreme Court of the United States struck down a federal ban on gay marriage. You certainly couldn't call homosexuality illegal in the US at that time. It's the same year that Dabb and Sgriccia spoke about the Aaron moment on the DVD and whether there's 'this potential for love in all places' for Dean. Of course Jensen said this about the very same scene: "But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

I'm reminded of 2012 when Ben Edlund stepped in about a Destiel question at comic con, pretending it was some freaky thing that fans had made up even though he'd already written and directed TMWWBK, which had already aired.

Jensen: “What’s Destiel?” Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

Or the next year for season 9 when Jensen said “I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand” “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” EVEN THOUGH- that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and Misha (or both of them?) was told to “play him like a jilted lover”

Or Jensen's knowing bromance smile in 2015

I think recent events (cough spn gate) have made clear that the network and many viewers were still uncomfortable with CAS being gay in 2020, deleting even familial mentions of Cas from the finale episodes once he was revealed to be not only gay but also in love with Dean. (x) (x) (x) Can you imagine then what Warner Brothers would have said to an acknowledge bisexual Dean Winchester in 2013? Granted, there was no Trump election, but legitimate, could that have been the end of the show? Or the Russian and Conservative US viewership? Is it possible that Jensen would have feared so?

Is it possible that Jensen had a more personal reason for a knee jerk defensive response?

So was Jensen covering in 2013? Well. This happened 5 years later in 2018:

That hostile "? No." came even though Misha confirmed that he and Jensen had discussed Destiel by that point. Granted, discussing Destiel as a concept and accepting Dean being inherently bisexual are two very different things - Cas is GN after all - still, less than encouraging.

I may never get over the jumps back and forth that Jensen did. At this point I think there's no denying that a lot of SPN's queer content was on purpose, even as writers and actors were telling fans and network execs otherwise. Yet when each person involved was brought in? that question haunts me at night. I have gone off before about the timeline in my pursuit of whether Jensen was Ben Hur'd (x) and, if so, for how long. I'm sure many in this fandom have so much to add.

In the meantime we'll just have to cherish this moment from 2019:

Interviewer: 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you’re most excited to tackle with your character this final season.’ Jensen: “Cas. Just like a full football form tackle.”

Bewitched references in SPN:

2.05 - Dean: Well, it looks like he can't work his mojo just by twitching his nose, he's gotta use verbal commands.

2.20 - Dean says Barbara Eden was hotter than Elizabeth Montgomery - sigh - Dean.

7.05 - Dean thinks a husband has no idea his wife is a witch, and refers to him as Darrin. Dean also indicates he likes the first Darrin better. - (I guess I can't make a comment about how much TV Dean watched as a kid if I get all of his references and also haven't saved the world.)

14.03 - Jules refers to the witch as 'Brunhilde' - this is a minor character in bewitched but more so from mythology and likely referred to the cartoon witch from WB cartoons - the stereotypical witch that faced bugs bunny with the green skin and straw hair.

let me know if you have any to add. Stay Witchy ✌

#jensen ackles #jackles long con #dean was always bi #spn film studies #spn queercoding #Spn tinhatting #ben hur treatment #bewitched #queercoding #Caslighting #Spn gaslighting #elizabeth montgomery #dick sargent #paul lynde #original content #Marion Lorne #Marion Lorne was also in a show called the gay adventure in 1932 but i dont have any information on the plot #and to quote misha. it's probably gay like happy #Schrodinger's long con

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verobatto · 3 years

Text

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXXVIII

It was a love story from the very beginning

I Love You and Goodbye

(15x18)

Hi my friends! We are finally in episode 15x18 "Despair" or "The Truth". The episode in which Destiel went canon.

So, let's grab our napkins and let's start with this.

Remember this meta is a summary from my metas from season 15 with some new additions now that the show ended.

You can find my metas from 15x18 following these links: X, X and X.

The last Destiel mirrors

I want to start this meta summary with the last two destiel mirrors from episode 15x18. Both of them were foreshadowing the big lover separation at the end.

Charlie always mirrored Dean, so it's very interesting to hear her talking about how her relationship with Stevie started.

She mentioned she didn't want to try that love thing again, it's a parallel of Dean's past with Cassie earlier in the show. It started as a game could be also related to Dean first attempts of flirting with Castiel in season 4 and 5.

I'll go with you...

One of the most iconic Destiel quotes has to be recalled in this episode too. Loyalty, love and abnegation from Castiel to Dean.

Because I Love You (Romantically)

This whole description from the scene it had been taken from my meta, I want to transcript the whole analysis here just because the moment I wrote this I was still hoping Dea would rescue Castieo, and I was crying and laughing hysterically, so... I wanna share that to all of you:

This love confession was beautiful, and Castiel made it clear he was talking about ROMANTIC LOVE, because the whole prelude in his wordings were perfectly clear. There's not doubt he was confessing his romantic love for Dean. He even mention THE ONLY THING I CAN'T HAVE is the thing that will make him happy.

It's canon he was asking himself what happiness could be!!! It means CAS THOUGHT ABOUT HOW COULD IT BE TO HAVE DEAN NOT JUST AS A FRIEND!!!!

He says too FROM THE MOMENT HE TOOK THAT BURDEN! FROM THE MOMENT HE RESCUED DEAN FROM HELL!!!!!! 'It has always been you', Dean!'

I'm gonna stop here just a little to point out why the quote "IT HAS ALWAYS BENN YOU" said by Billie takes a huge significance in here. Because Dean is not just the centric problem of a Cosmic entity, like Death, but the centric topic in Castiel's confession.

The love confession from 15x18 was a recalling of the first Destiel scene in the barn. In which Castiel saw a broken soul, a man that thought he didn't deserved to be saved, and immediately he took that challenge in his arms. The challenge was to make Dean BELIEVE HE WAS WORTHY. That he deserved to be saved AND LOVED. That's why from this moment on, Dean will change the way he sees himself.

When Castiel says he understood HAPPINESS IS NOT ABOUT TO HAVE IT, BUT IT'S ABOUT TO SAY IT (FEEL IT) immediately after saying he couldn't have that thing (Dean) is marking to all the audience that knowing HE CAN'T HAVE DEAN, HE IS HAPPY JUST FEELING THAT LOVE FOR HIM. LOVONG HIM AS HE DOES IS WHAT MAKES CAS HAPPY, AND CONFESSING THAT LOVE TO DEAN, RELEASE HIM.

Because Death gave a speech that became a summary of all the villains through this show, Castiel is the one purifying each mean word by transforming them into Dean's virtues.

While naming Dean's sacrifices and protective behavior, and showing him HE DID IT FOR LOVE, Castiel is trying to make Dean to see himself as CAS sees him.

Love yourself, because you are precious, because I LOVE YOU. You are not a monster, you are all this good things I see on you.

Gif set credit @mugiwara-lucy

Castiel crying, loving Dean with all of his self, and Dean in shock (or silenced by the network and the writers).

All the foreshadows of Dean gagging, vomiting, swallowing, eating... all of that was for this moment here. Dean's silence. Dean eating his words, Dean being silenced.

We could try to find other explanation, or live forever inside Jackie's magnificent acting options (giving us that swallow and mouth shut, as if he was trying to speak... as if he was trying to reply to his angel...) but truth is... C*W and the writers silenced him.

And then Castiel was swallowed by black goo, again. And that was Misha's last apparition. The ultimate sacrifice for love. Again.

Castiel Love's confession word by word

I'm gonna talk about specifically of the Destiel scene. Word by word, as I wrote in the third meta on the top of this volumen, with some new additions.

“I always wondered, ever since I took that that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be, what...what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want...it's something I know I can't have."

It's canon now that Castiel was wondering what would it be to have Dean not just as a friend, but as a lover, and I'm.... Okay. (Internally screaming).

Pointed by @weird-dorky-little-d, the parallel here with Pamela (Dean's fem mirror in Rocky's Bar) in which she said DEAN ALWAYS WANTED WHAT HE COULDN'T HAVE. It means, both dumbasses in love thought their love were unrequited (in the worst scenario) but maybe to Castiel was the Sacred Oath? Perhaps...

"But I think i know...I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it.”

This is such a deep thought and it talks about Castiel's maturity of character. He understood once for all, that loving Dean Winchester, feeling what he feels for him, and expressing that to Dean, is his true happiness. Because...

METATRON: "(...) You draped yourself in the flag of Heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human. Right?"

Dean: "What are you talking about, man?

This question coming from Dean shows the audience Dean didn't know what Castiel was trying to say. So this could be a clue about Dean thinking his love is unrequited.

Cas: “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive and you're angry and you're broken. You're...you're 'Daddy's Blunt Instrument.' And you think hate and anger, that's...that's what drives you. That's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it.

Cas: You know, ever since I met you, ever since I pulled you out from Hell...

I was hoping Dean to give us our angel back, but well. It was Jack. Hehehee.

Gif set credit @spnsmile

I recommend to go to the third link on the top of this meta and read @mrsaquaman187 amazing body language reading of this scene!

But now, about what Castiel is saying...

If you are still alive, i just want to point how romantic is this, because he is saying that Dean changed him for good. And he is naming all their family, Sam, Jack, and humanity, the world. Dean. So practically, Cas is saying, Dean showed Cas how to take care of others. Damn...

This is a call back to Castiel's talk with Ishim in 12x10:

ISHIM: The way you let those simians talk to you... Castiel, when did you get so gooey? You know why we're meant to stay away from them humans? Hmm? It's not because we're a danger to them. They're a danger to us. Case in point.

CAS: Well, my friendship with Sam and Dean has made me stronger.

Castiel rewording again, because he knows what Dean did on him, Dean changed him for good.

DEAN (quiet, resigned) Why does this sound like a goodbye?

CASTIEL: Because it is. I love you. (he smiles)

DEAN: Don't do this, Cas.

Dean's last words to Castiel... don't do this, don't confess your love for me and then die again.

It's painfully beautiful. Castiel was the light that touched Dean's life changing him for ever. He was loved and cared by this angel, and at the same time, Dean learned how to love Castiel in silence.

To Conclude:

The most beautiful love story ever told could've ended differently, happily, the way Dean and Cas deserved. But it ended up as a tragedy.

And we are here to fix it.

Destiel is canon and Destiel is forever.

Hope you like this meta. See you in the next one that will be the last one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season, here you have the links:

Volume CXXI, CXXII, CXXIII, CXXIV, CXXV, CXXVI, CXXVII.

Buenos Aires, August 28 th 2021 9:03 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 15 meta #15x18 meta #vol cxxviii

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