#also what is with the lack of diversity in the new gods??

[whereserpentswalk]

There's an orc attending your college. Your city is pretty diverse, there's a lot of human cultures represented there, and even harpies and dwarves are common. But an orc is still a really rare sight. And she's not assimilated at all, she wears the symbol of the dark lord around her neak, and the strange black cloths from the wastelands she came from, and she always seems to have a gun somewhere on her. It's strange just to see an orc in person, she's not like the green skinned monsters you see in movies, her eyes are pitch black, and her skin is so pale you can see veins, she's muscular and tell but also strangely skinny, and her teeth are sharp and spiked like a sharks, this one doesn't have tusks, just these rows of serrated teeth.

Everyone avoids her at first. There's something creepy about her. She doesn't move like a human. She emotes weirdly, being stoic during conversations, but sometimes smiling or laughing at odd times. In class it becomes clear that she lacks knowledge anyone growing up in your society has, but has extensive knowledge on things most humans will never know. She also very clearly supports the dark lord and the demons who serve him, and gets mad when his narrative of conquest and strict genetic hierarchy is challenged in class.

You end up paired with her for a class project. It's weirdly awkward. But you end up spending more time with her then most. It still takes awhile to get used to her mannerisms, and you have to convince her of evolution in a long debate (but eventually you do convince her). She seems strangely naive to a lot of things. Every time she does something that she considers a failure she goes into self loathing, and she gets really afraid she's going to be punished. You have to explain to her things are going to be ok sometimes.

You try to spend time with her. She supports the dark lord but out of a strange sense of fear more than the type of ideological support humans in nations not under his control have. When she does something that she thinks is heresy agaisnt him she becomes afraid. And while she's angry at people who follow gods other than him (which is basically everyone here) she's more afraid of them than everything. When a holy symbol you own touches her she's surprised it doesn't burn her, you have to tell her it's ok.

She has a lot more freedom here than she did back in the wastelands. You slowly help her realize she doesn't have to worry about being punished for sinning agasint the dark lord. She's able to go on the internet for the first time, you help her get everything set up. You also introduce her to your freinds, only some of whom feel safe around her, but those who do seem to like her.

It's weird just hanging out in her dorm. She can be weirdly laid back and introspective at times, at least when she's not nervous or paranoid. But when she's just relaxing she'll tell you about things, about the beauty of the desert sands, about what it was like to observe the rattlesnakes and condors and wyverns of her homeland. How she likes to observe the city, the way the diffrent people flow through it, she was scared of it at first but now she likes to explore it, and the way it lacks stars at night but the lights from the buildings replace it. She says she wishes she could stay here forever, that she wishes she could be an artist but that she was sent here to learn skills useful to the dark lord's empire.

There's something nice about showing her new things. You get to take her to a musical for the first time. Get to show her neighborhoods you like. Get to explain to her what public transport is (though she got scared feeling trapped in a subway car). You get to show her stuff she never got to experience because orcs are never really children, she loves getting to hold a plush for the first time, or watching cartoons for the first time, it's like she's finally getting to live an experience she never had. Even though she's a well armed adult she really likes plushies once she finds out about them, they weren't something she was allowed to have back home.

Over time she starts meeting people and learning things that go against her worldview. As she makes more friends, understands new things, slowly learns that she shouldn't be punished for mistakes, she slowly comes around to seeing how fucked up the world the was raised in is. She tells you she doesn't want to worship the dark lord anymore, she cries just from saying it. You hug her, and realize she's never been hugged before, she seems to really like that feeling. She bathes in the waters of a healing goddess, and she worships something out of love instead of fear for the first time.

Eventually the spawning warlock who spawned her and her siblings comes to visit her. You told her to be careful but she ended up spilling that she doesn't worship the dark lord, she ends up spilling all the things a warlock like that considers a sin. When he leaves she tells you she can't go home. Not ever. Never again will she see the shifting sands, or flying condor, or flowing serpents of her homelands. She's trapped where she is now.

You know it hurts her a lot. She says she feels like she's in a small pocket of safety. Back home she'd be hurt for being an apostate. In human lands outside of the city she'd be hurt for being an orc. But she's safe here. She stays in her apartment for awhile, while you try to make things work. She's finally changing her major to art, and despite everything she's finally free, free to watch the starless sky, free to not be punished when she makes a mistake...

[y-rhywbeth2]

Lore: Baldur's Gate #1

Link: Disclaimer regarding D&D "canon" & Index [tldr: D&D lore is a giant conflicting mess. Larian's lore is also a conflicting mess. You learn to take what you want and leave the rest]

The City | Demographics | Law & Legal System | Administration & Government | ??? - WIP

Might as well start compiling lore on the namesake of the game...

Featuring the city aesthetic (the depiction of it in-game wasn't nearly grey, damp or claustrophobic enough) and a mostly complete overview of the city and its major areas: the Lower City, Upper City, Outer City, Undercellar and Undercity.

Cultural titbits: like why you can't have animals bigger than peacocks; that you shouldn't live here if you have claustrophobia; how the Patriars clearly have it out for people with hay fever; the constant mould problem; where to go to get a glowing tattoo, a fake tan and the magical equivalent of a plastic surgeon; and why, in fairness to the Banites, the city requires very little effort to turn into a nightmarish police state under the control of an evil deity.

And if your Dark Urge is a sewer gremlin then that's a life choice they're making, not a Bhaalist thing: the Undercity isn't in the sewers.

-

The city state of Baldur's Gate is one of Faerûn's more important ports, situated geographically between the massive trade centres of Athkatla and Waterdeep. It began its life as a fusion of the early fishing hamlet of Loklee (formed around 0 DR) and the pirate and smuggler hub that formed nearby. It was a popular port with a shipyard and visitor's wharves by 204 DR. The natural harbour the man-made harbour is built on is one of the only places in hundreds of miles that's safe for ships to dock at.

Due to the lack of nearby settlements to form competition, the trade hub attained city status and import early in its existence. It briefly fell under the early kingdom of Shavinar, though this was mostly a technicality and the settlement continued to govern itself and continued to do so when the kingdom fell in 277 DR.

The area was first officially recognised in the history books as the city of of Baldur's Gate in 446 DR.

The primary spoken language of the Gate is Chondathan, however during the Spellplague the city attracted enough refugees to become one of Faerûn's most populated cities, and it's a diverse enough location that many people are at least bilingual (not counting Common): many speak Chondathan, their native/ancestral language and a third.

As a major port the city has always been something of a melting pot and encouraged a policy of tolerance - you don't want to drive away merchants and trade, after all. Likewise, in the interests of encouraging trade, the city has enforced a stance of political neutrality and refuses to be drawn into international problems.

Officially, the city prides itself on being welcoming to all ways of life, to the point where anyone and anything goes as long as they obey the laws and don't rock the boat; even the open worship of the majority evil gods is completely unremarkable - what if you want to trade with a place where those gods are a major religion, after all? While Umberlee is worshipped everywhere near the sea (under threat of tidal waves and drowning in retribution for not worshipping her), Baldur's Gate is one of the few places she has an actual temple.

A shrine to any god - regardless of what their faith does or preaches - can be established in any of the temple districts for public worship, and the law will pay it no mind.

This reputation for tolerance and neutrality means it tends to be one of the first choices for refugees and immigrants looking for a new start. The city is extremely crowded, with many people packed into tight spaces and narrow streets, and its population numbers surpassed the metropolis of Waterdeep decades ago; standing at 42,103 people in the 14th century, it has likely more than doubled since. Visitors often find it incredibly - possibly intolerably - loud and busy, while locals consider them to be backwater farmers who don't know what civilisation looks like.

While the city doesn't discriminate legally against any groups, its reputation for tolerance is somewhat overexaggerated. Peoples who are viewed as monstrous by the Realms at large, such as orcs and other goblinoids, or drow, can expect to feel unwelcome as with everywhere else. The recent wave of unwanted human refugees from Calimshan have a strained relationship with the established Baldurians, who view them as foreign and wish they'd just assimilate and start speaking Chondathan already. The city is a human settlement by culture and demographics, retaining its historical human majority, and while the demihuman minorities are part of mundane everyday life, there have been incidents such as in the early 14th century, which saw the rise of The Sure Helm: a human supremacy group who had an issue with the non-humans in their society and were known to carry out hate crimes on the likes of half-elves and half-orcs if they thought they could get away with it.

On a slightly saner note: you have the freedom of religion to worship a god who demands slaves and blood sacrifice, but it's a bad idea to advertise that... Or get caught slaving and murdering, unless you're a very high ranking priest.

--

Local bards tend to refer to the city as the Cresent moon in their lyrics and poems, after the shape of the city layout. The musical traditions of the Gate focus on "brassy-voiced tenors" and "delightfully smoky altos".

Baldurians frown on drunk, debauched and disorderly behaviour in public: there's no space for this nonsense and you're keeping everybody on the street awake.

The gate has an array of cosmetic services available in the markets of the Wide, where - as well as mundane tattooists and piercers - one can hire wizards in the market to perform cosmetic alterations with transmutation magic: glowing tattoos and other strange illusions, tans, magically affixing gems and jewellery like pieces to your body, changing hair colour, texture and style, changing your eye colour, altering your height or your weight or your sexual dimorphism, etc etc.

It's considered bad luck to harm a cat. Many of the animals moved into the area by hitching a ride on sea traffic, and as they're extremely useful for keeping vermin down both on land and at sea, Baldurians are fond of them.

If you need help carrying your shopping or finding somewhere in the city, most street corners have youths known as "lamp boys" and "lamp lasses" you can hire - so called because of the lanterns they carry at night. With the founding of the newspaper you can also find them hawking the daily papers.

The trade the city brings is the lifeline of the Sword Coast (South), and the only place one can buy foreign and luxury goods in the entire region. That said, these goods come at a significant mark up compared to the prices you'd find in Waterdeep or anywhere in Amn.

The majority of silver trade bars (bars of metal used in place of coins, for ease of transport) are made in the Gate, and the city sets the standards for this form of currency.

-

The city has always been heavily policed, and is known for being quiet and one of the safest cities in Western Faerûn; Baldurians don't expect much if any major disruption to the city's day-to-day life.

The city has its own City Watch - member of the watch being readily identified by their black helms, bearing a red stripe down one side - however the Flaming Fist Mercenary Company is the first thing that comes to mind when you mention law enforcement; you can barely go more than an hour without seeing at least one uniformed officer.

The City Watch used to be the city's police force, however by the end of the 15th century the Fist has taken on much of their role, and the Watch now functions purely as the private law keepers of the Upper City. They are permitted to live within the Upper City, and positions in the watch are now mostly hereditary.

Even when the Watch was the official city police the Fist boasted an army a thousand strong. By the start of the 15th century the Fist had taken over city patrols in a semi-official capacity. The two groups also overlap, and many of the Watch are also secretly members of the Fist. One in ten people in the gate - Watch or otherwise - are spies and informants for the mercenary company.

They may not be fully reliable as a police force however, as they are known to chose not to deal with some problems, declaring it a problem for the watch to deal with. Notably they do not police the Outer City and refuse to touch anything involving the Undercellar.

The Flaming Fist also has outposts in other realms, where it guards the foreign trade interests of the city, such as Fort Beluarian (a hamlet of 313 people) in the jungles of Chult on the Southern end of Faerûn. Being mercenaries, they are available for hire for any purpose that isn't considered flat out evil.

Of course the heavy policing and massive police presence, to anybody who cares to look closer at the city's outward appearance of security, is a giant tip-off that the city has a thriving underworld. The Thieves Guild is an ever-present force, and the religious tolerance means that there are a lot of other organised crime syndicates (ie the priests), murderers and extortion rackets running around. Such organisations keep close diplomatic ties to the Grand Dukes and the commander of the Flaming Fist.

-

The weather conditions are typically rain, sleet or fog depending on season and time of day, and the streets and buildings are almost constantly wet either from the weather or the sea. The architecture is almost entirely stone, as it's less likely to rot. The streets are often slippery, and straw or gravel from the river is sometimes thrown over the cobbles for grip. The citizens take advantage of the moisture and damp to use their cellars to cultivate edible fungi. Damp, mould and mildew are a common menace, but it did lead a wizard named Halbazzer Drin to make his fortune by inventing spells that banishes mildew (12gp per casting) and dry out an area without damaging anything (10gp), so services exist if you need to hire them. The spell is not known outside of the city; Drin refused to sell knowledge of the spell to anyone for any price or offer. Due to the damp, the streets have no banners or other hanging fabrics around.

Buildings tend to be tall and narrow, with shuttered slit windows placed high up, which will be firmly shut at night and all day in winter, to keep out the gales and invading gulls looking for places to nest. The extremely narrow streets of the Lower City are full of window planters and hanging baskets of flowers, providing the sole spot of colour amongst the grey. As the city streets are so steep and narrow, the city has a ban on allowing animals larger than a dog into the city (it's too difficult for them to navigate and likely to cause traffic issues).

Boxed in by its thick, heavily fortified city walls and with no space to expand the city has largely built upwards, and the streets are filled with stone buttresses and arches supporting the upper floors.

Due to its stony architecture and frequent overcast, the entire city is often referred to as the Grey Harbour by residents. (This is also the name of the actual city harbour)

The city is built into the chalk white cliffs around the harbour, growing in elevation until the settlement stops at the outermost walls.

By the 15th century, the city was firmly divided into the Lower and Upper Cities, the latter of which is built into the highest elevation, cut off by a wall. In the population boom that followed the mass immigration of Spellplague refugees, many people were forced to make space for themselves outside of the walls, building the Outer City. Beneath the city lies the Undercellar

Descending from the Undercellar is a labyrinth of tunnels leading down into caverns buried beneath Baldur's Gate; housing the ruins of a forgotten era, where the Temple of Bhaal stands over the ruins, surrounded by the restless spirits and walking corpses of undead residents ancient and brand new.

-

The Lower City houses most of the city, crafts and trade.

With the narrow spaces, cliffs, tall buildings and arches, the city can get rather dark at night. What public lighting is available is maintained by the citizens themselves. The wealthier parts of the Lower City, like Bloomridge, use oil and wick copper bowls, while poorer areas make do with candles in tin lanterns, usually such things are mounted on the walls and ceilings of the darkest corners; but when you want to navigate at night you'll usually be hiring lamp lads.

The Grey Harbour is one of Toril's most famous and best ports, frequented by legitimate merchant captains and pirates alike; many of the families living on the docks are the families of sailors. The area is very industrialised, sporting the shipyard, multiple cranes and railway tracks used to facilitate the moving of goods. The most notable structures are the Harbourmaster's Office, a tiny building with barred windows that deals with all trades and taxes - and the Water Queen's House at the end of the pier, which everybody with a brain makes offerings to and nobody looks too closely at whatever the Umberlant priests get up to in there, because the vast majority of people like breathing.

The Gate has little in the way of large fanciful festivals, but specific streets in the Lower City are prone to a centuries old tradition of "cobble parties", where the people living on a street pull up some chairs, benches and barrels and gather outside to share a mild drink, tell stories and chat. An ongoing cobble party can be recognised by the bright rose-red torches that are hung up along the street walls - these torches are made at Felogyr's Fireworks and can be bought almost anywhere in the city.

Bloomridge is as close the Upper City as you can get without actually gaining access, and houses the Gate's middle class. It was initially built in elevated platforms cimbing up the Upper City's walls using magic and Gondian engineering. It's various attractions - including fanciful architecture, florists, artisanal boutiques, fancy open-air kaeth houses (cafes) and dining houses (restaurants; also known as "skaethars" or "feasthalls"), and elaborate hanging gardens and floral arcades - made it attractive to those with wealth but no pedigree.

The district expanded as those who could afford to do so began purchasing and razing the original, less fancy buildings in the vicinity and building estates on the ground where they used to stand. Those who can't quite afford that instead opt to live in high class apartment buildings and flats over the local businesses. Buildings here often have rooftop gardens and balconies with pleasant vistas.

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The Upper City is located in the oldest quarter of the city, the Lower City being built outside of the walls and stretching down to the harbour and then having the lower city walls constructed around it. The only gate connecting the two halves is the eponymous Baldur's Gate, the first of the many city gates constructed. It's also heavily guarded and the only gate by which outsiders may access the Upper City; there are numerous smaller gates, but they are exclusively used by patriars and those bearing family livery or bearing a letter of employment signed by a patriar. This district houses the Gate's oldest and most powerful families: anyone who isn't a patriar is either a servant or a watchman, who will most likely be a member of a family that has served a patriar family/the Upper City for generations. The exceptions tend to be a handful of the most successful and affluent business owners whose businesses have become popular enough with the nobility to be welcomed in. Every business and city service in this district exists to serve the upper class exclusively.

It's the most open and colourful part of the city; the shutters and doors are painted in fresh, vibrant paints. The streets are broad and well lit with ornate enchanted lamps; the terrain is mostly flat, unlike the streets of the Lower City, which can often resemble giant staircases.

Businesses that would cause unpleasant smells are banned from the area, and the Upper City maintains many gardens, windowsill planters and trellises where flowers bloom and fill the air with pleasant scents (unless you have hay fever, anyway). Wandering minstrels provide ambient music as they wander the streets - usually a singer playing a lute or harp accompanied by a flutist and perhaps a drummer who may provide a chorus.

They've also got drains, so the streets are less inclined to flood or turn to mud the way the rest of the city is.

There are no inns or alehouses here: a noble who wishes to drink will either host a party, attend a private club, or go slumming in the Lower City.

The Upper City houses the High Hall, also known as the ducal palace; the administrative building that provides a place for feasts, court hearings and government meetings. The meeting rooms are and have always been open for public use, however there is a rule that states you cannot rent a meeting room there twice within 48 hours (to stop people from monopolising the rooms). The High Hall used to be a more grim, military building but has since been renovated to appear more bright and friendly as a PR stunt following a giant riot over taxes.

The other two of the city's temples are located in the Upper City, the Lady's Hall - a Temple of Tymora - and the High House of Wonders, the temple of Gond (who is near enough the city's patron god). The building serves various purposes: a temple, workshops, factories and laboratories. When something deemed ready for the eye is released it can usually be viewed in the Hall of Wonders: a science museum across the street to the temple.

It's also where the Gate's largest marker - the Wide - is situated. It's the only large open space in the city, and the only open air market. Outside of festivals, performances and music is banned in the area. The Wide is usually packed with people forced to stand shoulder-to-shoulder, and those who are hired to perform deliveries in the Wide are always tall and large, capable of seeing over the heads of the throngs and pushing their way through. Goods are carried atop tall poles that are strapped to the deliverymen's chests or backs. Prices are lowest in the Wide compared to anywhere else, and any transactions that cannot be performed within a licensed store must take place here by law.

Permits to rent space in the Wide for the day are limited, and they usually go to whoever has the money to bribe the bailiff, watchmen and other officials who have sway in over the market's administration - which is usually the merchants of the Upper City.

As well as the usual fare of goods, the Wide offers a large range of cosmetic services including the mundane body modifications and stylists that one would find on Earth, and more esoteric concepts that can only be accomplished with magic; such services and the artisans who provide them are seasonal and ever changing. The Wide is the most colourful spot in the city, and the only place that's the exception to the lack of banners and other hanging fabrics. Historically the Wide was open all day and night, but in recent times the watch has been closing the area at dusk - nobody except for the patriars may have use of the Upper City after dark.

The Wide is only closed if the area must be used for something else, such as public Highharvestide festivals... or because a patriar decided to close it off for private use, such as a ball or wedding.

Just outside of the market area is the rest of the Upper City's commercial area; stores, insurance offices, trade guildhalls, Ramazith's tower and the public entrance to the Undercellar - a flight of stone stairs leading down to a pair of heavy oak doors at the southern edge of the market. The doors are shut, but the Undercellar never closes and if you knock somebody will open them and usher you inside.

-

The Undercellar is a maze of underground passages lying beneath the city - mostly vaulted stone chambers created from the interconnected and abandoned cellars of the old Upper City, with hidden exits all over the city. Those who know where these exits are tend to guard them jealously, but may be willing to allow the Thieves' Guild access for coin or service. The Guild itself controls a fair few of these exits, and has been working on expanding the network.

It's also the playground for the criminal underworld of the Gate. The Undercellar's public image is that of a rather unprincipled festhall (a specific form of adult entertainment venue in the Realms that serves as a fusion of casino, bar, lounge, spa, brothel, playground, BDSM scene, LARPing club and so forth), which in a way, it is. Due to its dangerous reputation, it's incredibly popular, especially with those who are trying to look edgy and dangerous (particularly teenagers).

If one is openly carrying weapons, you can expect the armed guards stationed in the room to start following you closely; otherwise they'll leave you be. The guards are unlikely to care much about any disturbances, so long as they don't start disrupting everybody's business. Customers are not to venture further into the Undercellar without permission and an escort.

And behind that edgy, but mostly harmless veneer visitors play at and never see past is the real Undercellar, which is every bit as dark as its rumoured to be.

The Guild has its offices down here, and other rooms are used for varying purposes by other criminals. Want to put a hit on somebody, watch somebody get murdered in a Bhaalist red room, smuggle people or whatever crimes against humanity you feel like seeking out, this'd be the place to do it.

The Undercellar is policed by nobody except the criminals who do their work down there; whatever might take place down there, neither the Watch nor the Fists have any desire to know about them if you try and bring them to light. Want to avoid bad things? Don't get involved with the Undercellar.

The sprawling, pitch-black maze - if one knows how to navigate it - is a good way to get around the Upper City without detection. Somewhere down there is a passage that goes deeper, leading further into the earth and into the Undercity.

The Undercity is, clue in the name, the dead remains of a city buried beneath the living Baldur's Gate (specifically the original city that became the Upper City). At its heart is the Temple of Bhaal, and the city is inhabited by Bhaalists, alive and dead; the original, now undead, inhabitants of the undercity and any victims of the temple that have joined them.

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The Outer City, Cliffgate and Blackgate are not technically parts of the city, being constructed outside of them.

The soil surrounding the city is little use for agriculture, but it is sufficient for grazing, so most farmers are the likes of shepherds and cattle farmers. As livestock and large animals are not permitted inside the city, cattle markets, stables and such businesses will be found there. Many of the less pleasant businesses, such as butchers and tanners, have relocated here to spare the rest of the city the smell and mess.

Much of the structures are semi-permanent in nature, and the areas are not subject to official oversight or in possession of any particular infrastructure. They aren't policed by the Fist or the watch, the area is near enough lawless, and crime is frequent. "Security" tends to be overseen by the Guild, and while the government doesn't tax outside the walls, residents still have to pay their dues to the local thieves and thugs.

The Outer City is as crowded as the Lower City, but less sanitary or orderly: these places are dirty, loud, smell a lot and tend to be quite dangerous. Many of the residents are farmers, criminals and foreigners and immigrants of varying generation who can't afford or find a place in the city proper.

The Blackgate is the historical slum area, and grew around the inland-facing Black Gate to the North West, growing around the Trade Way connecting The Gate to Waterdeep.

The Tumbledown district, located in Cliffgate outside the city gate of the same name, is the middle child of the expansions, leading down the cliffs. The land was owned by the Szarr family generations ago, before they were all (supposedly) slaughtered by a rival family in the night. Tumbledown is an extremely foggy area, full of graveyards and tombs, and rumours abound that the ghosts of the dead Szarrs haunt the streets there and steal people away. People do disappear there, but most people are sceptical that it's due to ghosts.

The Outer City is a newer, larger slum that grew around the Basilisk Gate and spread along the Coast Way - the road between the Gate and Athkatla - as the city population exploded at the end of the 14th century.

Immigrant communities have taken the opportunity to build their own settlements in the Outer City, styled in their own architectural styles, such as Little Calimshan; a tenement on Wyrm's Crossing is exclusively occupied by halflings; Whitkeep houses a gnomish community who does most of the city's tinsmithing; half-orcs lodge in Stoneyes; a shield dwarven community is located in Shieldgate.

These communities are considered outsiders by most Baldurians, and generally there's no love lost between those inside the walls and outside.

[writingmia]

kuroo tetsuro headcanons

Author's Note: I feel like there are so many misinterpretations of Kuroo’s character to the point where I see some of the most ridiculous headcanons about him in existence. He isn’t a sex god nor is he a nerd that only cares about chemistry. I want to say there is so much complexity to him and that’s why people find it so difficult to understand his character, but that isn’t it either. Because he isn’t some incredibly deep and nuanced character, he is simply him and apparently that’s confusing so many people.

Warnings: Here’s my interpretation of Kuroo Tetsuro through some headcanons! I kept them non-specific, so they can be read by any gender, any appearance - none of that is relevant, anyone's welcome here! Also, I tried to keep it non-specific when it comes to where everything’s set, so you can put this into any AU you want. No smut, nothing nsfw here, so it's safe for anyone to read. Word count: 2.7k

He isn’t an incredibly romantic person. Kuroo’s love isn’t soft and sugary sweet. It isn’t intense and burning either. He wouldn’t take you to a romantic picnic on a flower-swept hill and gently put a daisy behind your ear, nor would he take you out to a loud bar where he'd grope you the whole night and you’d end up in his bed by the end of it. I’m not saying those dates wouldn’t occur, but I don’t think Kurro necessarily fall into either category I usually see people put him in 

I firmly believe Kuroo needs someone who can be a match to him intellectually. If there is one quality that is a must-have for a relationship for that man, it’s that you’re an interesting person to talk to. Your interests don’t have to be the same as his, because then both of you can learn new things and think about new ideas you wouldn’t have thought of on your own, but you must be able to hold a conversation. Even if you aren’t incredibly talkative or extroverted, as long as you can understand what he’s talking about and contribute to the discussion, there is no need to worry about the relationship working out. 

I just really can’t see Kuroo getting along with someone who doesn’t have diverse interests. If the only thing a person can talk about is others, and gossip, and what happened last week and who did what when, he would get so bored so quickly. And he wouldn’t be afraid to show his lack of interest either. I don’t think he would want to waste his time with useless gossip all the time

Don’t get me wrong, I know Kuroo would love gossip and he would eat up everything you tell him, if that isn’t the only thing you talk about. I firmly believe he is the type of person who can shut up and just ask questions when talking to someone so he can get as much information out of them, and then run to you to debris all of his new findings. But all that in moderation. If all someone talks about is gossip, he would get bored, fast 

I think nothing is going to change in your relationship with Kuroo once you start dating. His personality is playful and teasing and there isn’t a doubt in my mind he would’ve been a cheeky bastard even before you started dating. He can be a bit of an ass at times because he just loves provoking people just to get a reaction out of them, and he also loves to joke around and throw around bad puns and word associations because, yes, there is a nerdy side to him. He’s confident, but he also knows his boundaries and wouldn’t overdo things just because.

I can see that, no matter how you meet Kuroo, you two would become friends before anything else. Somehow, you find yourself always talking to him and it feels so natural to just converse. He manages to control the conversation and steer it into any direction he wants if needed, so even if you’re worried you might run out of things to talk about, he will always find a way to continue the conversation and, when it ends, it leaves you craving more 

I think when you start dating Kuroo, little will change in your relationship. I think everything would just click into place once you make it official. I don’t think Kuroo would be shy about his crush on you, but I don’t think he’d loudly proclaim it for the whole world to hear either. He’s too smart for either of these things. I think, once he realises there is something different about you, he would keep it to himself while subtly trying to figure out if you like him back. He would flirt with you at times, joke around with you all the time. I think he'd be a physically affectionate person casually, with anyone, so he would throw an arm around your shoulders or grab you by the hand if he has to take you somewhere, and he would do it so easily because the bastard knows he does that with all his other friends too. But with you, he would keep an eye out for your reactions and he would notice all the small things - if you tense up, if you blush, if you reciprocate, if you smile when he does it. All of those things would go to a small catalogue in his head where he would then look through them all and decide if he will confess or not 

I don’t think Kuroo will make a big deal out of confessing. I don’t think he’d plan a huge scene for you with flowers and music and a flowery speech where he proclaims his love for you. He’d wait for an appropriate moment when it’s just the two of you and then, with his signature smirk, would confess. He would be nervous, of course, but he wouldn’t confess if he wasn’t certain you liked him. 

If you decide to confess to Kuroo, I don’t think he’d be mad at all. Maybe slightly caught off guard because he wasn’t expecting it, but he would be more than pleased to hear you like him as well. 

Whatever the case is, he would tease you so much after both confessions. It’s okay, though, because you find it endearing, even if you pretend you don’t

When it comes to physical affection in public, he wouldn’t care strongly and would mostly go off of your preference. If you aren’t really into PDA and showing affection, he doesn’t mind. He would sit close to you, maybe hold your hand at times, but he isn’t particularly hurt over the lack of touching. If you don’t care either, I don’t think he would naturally do big dramatic gestures. I can see him holding your hand when walking, maybe touching your waist/lower back if he needs you to stop or turn in another direction, but not much more than that. When sitting somewhere, he might play with your fingers or tap on your thighs (he says it’s to annoy you, you pretend it does, but you both do it because you both enjoy it). However, don’t expect things like sitting in his lap or anything. I believe he finds that so cringey and would take any opportunity to make fun of couples like that in public loudly. If you’re more extroverted, you’d join him. 

I don’t think he’s big on kissing in public either. A peck when you see each other is fine, as well as (mostly jokingly) kisses on the cheek or the temple, but nothing more. No making out, no shoving your tongues down each other’s throats. Again, he loves making fun of couples like that and he’s an annoying bastard, but he isn’t a hypocrite. 

To compensate for the lack of physical affection, though, I can see him flirting with you constantly. Pretending like the two of you aren’t dating. Asking you for your number every other day, having at least one cheesy pick-up line a day, making dirty jokes all the time to either see you blush or roll your eyes at him. 

He truly loves you though. I don’t see him being big with physical touch or words of affirmation as his main love languages (he uses them, of course, but he uses them with everyone, and you need to be special). So I see him doing small things to show you that despite the playful exterior, he truly cares, and he cares deeply. Getting you small presents every time he sees something and it reminds him of you, or writing you small notes and hiding them in places where you’d find them, or spending time with you doing whatever you enjoy doing the most. That’s the stuff Kuroo does to show how much he loves you, and that’s only for you and him to see. He doesn’t like making these things public knowledge, nor involving others in it. He likes it best when it’s just a tradition between him and you, it makes it more intimate and meaningful that way. 

Being menaces together. Oh, this is a must. I did say the only must is that you can keep up with him in conversations and ideas, but if you can be as much of a menace as he is, he is going to be smitten and over-the-moon. It’s okay if his significant other is a sunshine that gets along with everyone, he would enjoy making you laugh with his little comments, but if you can match his energy, god. He’s done for. Even if, on the outside, you appear nicer, more quiet, if you sometimes mutter some small comment under your breath, or make a small quip only for him to hear, he will melt on the inside. What melts him inside is you being slightly mean to others in a funny way? Yes. That is the type of person Kuroo is, sorry, you chose that for yourself. 

If you can match him outwardly, though. Well, he loves it. So much. If his partner can match him for wits, if they can also be dramatic with him, act over-the-top, make jokes and make fun of people with him, he will love you forever. That’s the one sure way into being his favourite person. And you don’t even need to be mean with the jokes or “making fun of people”. It can be the small things about people you both dislike, or even towards him. If the two of you have banter and make fun of each other without any feelings being hurt, he will be yours forever 

I can’t really see Kuroo with someone very sensitive. Down-to-earth people who can take a joke and match him perfectly are more his type, because he never has to worry about hurting your feelings accidentally, or you being upset over something he said. Because if he crosses a line, you need to be able to call him out immediately. He wouldn’t be mad, even if you are. He would simply listen to you, make a note of it, apologise, and you’d move on. 

Kuroo doesn’t hold grudges. He doesn’t have time for useless emotions. He likes to feel his feelings, and then move on, and that’s why communication is so important with him. If he has a problem with something you do, he wants to be able to come to you, tell you and fix it without you taking it personally because it isn’t. He just wants to be happy with you, that’s why the quicker you work out problems, the better 

Kuroo’s the type of person who’s incredibly passionate about anything and everything he does. That’s why, often, if you guys are discussing something, it might appear as if he is arguing with you, but I promise you, he isn’t. He’s just very passionate every time he talks. With his love for a good debate and discussion, combined with his healthy communication, problems would barely appear so I really can’t see him be the type who you would be getting into fights with often/if at all 

Wouldn’t be into cutesy nicknames. Love/darling/bunny/sweetheart, etc. Forget it. Unless he’s saying it sarcastically, you wouldn’t hear them. Maybe in moments of rare softness, he would say something like “baby” or “love”, but it wouldn’t be calling you that all the time. UNLESS it started off as a joke and then became a habit. That’s acceptable. I would expect you’d call him things like “bastard”, “ass”, “bother” and, in response receive “pest”, “sweetest” or “dearest”, and any short joke in existence (even if you’re taller than him, for some reason???). I’m telling you, Kuroo is a menace and if you’re one back, you’d have him handing you his heart on a silver platter 

He honestly doesn’t care what he does with you. You can go out on dates in the city, exploring new places, eating at new restaurants, looking at galleries and museums, or you could be sitting on a bench in the park or lying in your bed just talking. As long as he’s with you, Kuroo’s happy. As long as he’s with you, he’s entertained. I don’t think he’d have one favourite type of date with you, as long as it’s with you. You’re his favourite thing. 

I firmly believe that, as long as the person is compatible with him, Kuroo would fall in love fast, and he’d fall hard. You’d be his closest friend, you’d be his favourite person to talk to and to spend time with, and you’d be his family. He would choose you over anyone else without any hesitation and without any guilt, because why would he be guilty about loving you? No one else has made him feel this way before and no one else has understood him and made him feel as safe as he does with you. Honestly, he doesn’t really need other people once he has you 

Now, don’t get me wrong with the previous statement. I really don’t think Kuroo would be possessive or controlling. I don’t think he would date anyone who he doesn’t trust, so he would have no reason to be possessive over you. He trusts you with his heart and with his whole being, so he doesn’t get jealous if other guys hit on you. It’s kind of obvious to him they would - after all, you’re the most perfect being in his eyes so obviously others would see that too. So, he would just sit back and enjoy the sight of you telling whoever’s flirting with you to fuck off because’re already taken. Or, he would come up to you and, in a rare display of affection for others, hug you by the waist and kiss you on the head and simply give the person hitting on you a lazy smirk and a raised eyebrow before telling them to get lost. 

He would want you to get along with his friends and family and when you do, he would love you even more. I firmly believe he’s the type of softy who would just watch you with a sappy smile as he watches you talk to his closest people and just be happy because all his favourite people get along. 

HE WOULD LOVE TO LISTEN TO YOU TALK. About anything. Just, start talking about something you love and you’re passionate about and he would be listening. And so intensely too. He would stare at you with so much affection, he would nod, he would ask questions if he has to. He just cares so much about anything that you love. He would just cup his cheek and listen to you rant for yours and he'd be content and happy. Even if you worry you’re boring him or that he stopped listening, he didn’t. He heard every single word 

Your family would love him. I don’t think I need to elaborate here. He’s just that person who charms everyone so quickly. If you have younger siblings or relatives, the kids would be obsessed with him and always drag him to play with them, and he wouldn’t mind. The adults would love him too, obviously. 

I feel like his mother would love you. She would embrace you as a part of the family immediately, especially if he’s an only child. She would love you for how much you take care of him, and she would love you even more for not being afraid to put him in his place from time to time because he’s her son and she knows he’s a bit much at times. She’d be the dream mother-in-law. At some point, you will be able to start going out with just his mum. Like, Kuroo would ask you if you have plans on a Saturday morning and you’d tell him, super serious, you’re going to a farmer’s market with his mother and then you guys are going to go get coffee and that he is not invited.

[marielle-heller]

since people on here are talking about rap and how it's a lot more diverse than people give it credit for, I thought I'd add that a really wonderful source of information on the genre from its formation to ~around~ present day is the book The Come Up by Jonathan Abrams. especially if you want to get a taste of just how WIDE the scope of rap can be, I actually compiled a list of every song mentioned in the book that I could find on spotify (it's about 300 songs and admittedly includes a few non-hip hop songs that influenced other songs and were sampled in them)

obviously you're not likely to enjoy every single song. I didn't, but then I made a new, shorter playlist of the songs I did like, and I suddenly had a huge wealth of hip-hop history at my fingertips that I felt like I could really connect with and enjoy. it's there, trust me! especially if you listen to the whole thing you will hear how much it changes. you will be able to identify different sub-genres that may or may not be your taste. from there you could dig more into an artist or try googling "songs like" a particular one you enjoyed

I'll also note that like. definitely this is a bit lacking in female artists. I haven't read it yet but I do have a copy of God Save the Queens: An Essential History of Women in Hip-Hop by Katy Iandoli which is a good recommendation if you're looking to focus on women within the genre.

but it is a start, and it is worth checking out to educate yourself if you've never liked hip-hop. I thought I wasn't the biggest fan for a long time, and then I realized I just didn't love what I was hearing in the current mainstream. there's a lot of older artists I really connected with, and I've even been able to find some more current songs I enjoy.

this is also by no means an exhaustive playlist! these are songs that, for whatever reason, in context, were chosen to be mentioned in this book. there are definitely other amazing ones that didn't come up for whatever reason (for example, and maybe because it is a bit more focused on the history, Kendrick Lamar actually does not appear on the playlist). but I encourage people to check it out if you think you might be interested in rap. and especially if you're interested in rap beefs, there are several highlighted here. sorry to Queens but I really enjoy "The Bridge is Over" by Boogie Down Productions which is like a diss track on the whole borough </3

anyway, just thought I'd throw this out here. hopefully someone enjoys it! thank you

[nightswithkookmin]

3D SLAYS WITH JACK HARLOW

I'm not here to tell anyone how to feel but I'm just saying Jackie killed those bars.

I don't want to get into this whole debate over whether or not Jack Harlow's verse was offensive because Jack is for the black girlies and the queers and I'm black and queer. Let's leave it there

And frankly I was too busy deciphering all the Easter eggs and black and white themes and weirdly familiar lyrics and all the diversity in there to notice anything off with Jack.

He's a white guy in a predominantly black space who is not only aware of this but is also less misogynoire-cist than a lot of these gay hating black rappers out here. I'll take Harlow over any day because I ain't tryna hear another homophobic rapper with internalized racism make caricature of black women and call it music.

Yall hate misogynists, I hate homophobic misogyny targeted at black queer women specifically even more and to me Jack is far from that. So may be there's a conflict of interest here somewhere caused by my intersecting identities.

And as a feminist I have a problem endorsing the slut shaming of men just as much as I disagree with the slut shaming of women.

How are we shaming this man over openly talking bout thoting.

And it's crazy cos we all be put here drooling over BTS openly talking bout wanting to be choked to death by these boys but God forbid a grown man says in his songs he is polyamorous.

Equality of genders means we can not slut shame men from expressing their sexual desires any more than we can slut shame women.

And 2023, monogamy isn't the only valid relationship model. Why does this feel like monogamy is the new heteronormativity?

And it's not as if he's glamorizing cheating on a partner, or drugs or gun violence.

I feel we've been fighting misogyny and objectification of women by men for so long we can't even tell what a healthy expression of male desire looks like.

I think Jack is so real for those lyrics. Some men and even women do like to fantasize about getting with different women. And having female attention really is form of validation for lots of men. For a lot of them it's deeply tied to their self worth.

Women will always be the object of desire for straight men. But that don't mean any time they talk about that subject that they are objectifying women. That's like saying men hurt women for pounding them at night- sex is not inherently oppressive. It's the lack of consent, and the treating women as if all we are good for is sex that makes it oppressive.

As long as he isn't berating women calling us slurs or promoting the objectification of women he and I are good.

From where I sit all I heard was a man discussing and bragging about his insatiable lust- for that I'll recommend he speaks to his therapist. Jesus can't help him.

He has an appetite. We shouldn't slut shame him for that. Misandry is not how we are going to fix misogyny.

If a girl sang the same lyrics we would be tweaking right about now.

Plus these lyrics are even pretty tame in comparison. Lmho. Jack has always been vulgar and explicit. Jack's personality to me is why I like him to be frank. He's pushed for visibility and acceptance of the gay community more than any non queer rapper you can think of.

As far as his talent as a rapper goes- I only care about his songs when he's featuring lil Nas X or Jungkook

I'm just gonna have to throw him back to yall

BUT PLEASE LEAVE 3D ALONE.

PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: november 2023

hiiiii, sorry I'm late! I know we're a week past November now, but I've been busy! and struggling to pull my mental health out of an absolute crevasse! I think I've mostly made it at this point, but unfortunately my month of seasonal affective woe did leave me with a pretty paltry reading list for the month of November :/

not that I have a quota to hit, but I'm getting back into reading with a PASSION now and I'm hoping to get a few more really great novels in before the year ends!

what have I been reading?

Exquisite Corpse (published as Poppy Z. Brite, currently known as William Martin, 1996) - man, you guys know how I love a fucked up little story about some nasty freaks? this is a FUCKED UP story about the NASTIEST freaks. gay serial killer Andrew escapes a life sentence in England by faking his own death and flees to America, where he lands in New Orleans and promptly meets a man named Jay, who is - holy shit, what are the odds? ALSO a gay serial killer! they get along like a house on fire, setting their sights immediately on a beautiful young runaway drug deal name Tran who has his sights set on Jay. but Trans' ex-boyfriend, Luke, a bitter writer turned pirate DJ dying of AIDS, is also up in the mix, complicating things for everyone. the tone is unrelentingly gruesome but beautifully written and frequently funnier than should be possible. certainly not a book for everyone, with about every possible trigger warning on the table, but god. WHAT a ride. I savored every second.

Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity (Devon Price, 2022) - any hype you've heard about this book is absolutely worth it. Price is really exemplifying the excellence that comes from in-group writing, the magic that happens when people with firsthand experience living a life outside The Norm infiltrates academia and get the credentials to be recognized as the experts they are. I can't speak to the experience of reading this book as an autistic person, but as someone who's often the token allistic among my friends it clarified things that I had never even thought to wonder about with straightforward, accessible style and firsthand understanding. also, hey, it's so cool to see a book just straight-up advocating for autistic people to get more autistic and worry less about appeasing the allistic people around them. Dr. Price writes great advice, and I strongly recommend checking out this book and more of his work here. reading this also made me absolutely feral to check out Price's first book, Laziness Does Not Exist, so expect notes on that soon!

Momfluenced: Inside the Maddening, Picture-Perfect World of Mommy Influencer Culture (Sara Petersen, 2023) - listen, we can be honest here: that title is too long. but the read is worth it, even if I do have some mixed feelings about Petersen's messaging. she's not a momfluencer, but she is a mom who has been and still is very invested in momfluencers, letting that fascination fuel this book's creation. I found Petersen a bit too quick to come to the defense of influencing as a profession, which could grate. yes, women influencers are often the targets of a particular hostility that certainly stems from misogyny. yes, it certainly is true that being a full-time Instagram poster on top of raising living human children requires a lot of time and effort, which I guess does make it a "real job". but there are lots of "real jobs" that I disrespect on principle, and influencers are certainly on the list. Petersen has analysis on the stark hegemony of momfluencers, particularly the insidious white supremacy that controls which mothers are seen as aspirational, and she's certainly not lacking in self-reflection about the role momfluencers have played in her own parenting decisions, but it would have been nice to see more pushback on the concept of influencers existing at all, not just creating space for more diverse moms to take up the title. having said that: the chapter in which Petersen reflects on her own mother's lifelong dissatisfaction and grapples with learning to see her mother as a person, rather than just a perfectly happy crafty homemaker, was one of the most riveting things I've ever read and attacked me right in my own maternal baggage. she's a chatty writer who sometimes pulls back the conversational curtain to say the most haunting shit you've ever read in your life, particularly if you're like me and regard motherhood as a sort of horror movie scenario.

Unfortunately Yours (Tessa Bailey, 2023) - god, more like UNFORTUNATELY THIS BOOK, am I right? Unfortunately Yours was November's romance novel, which I finally got around to reading after it was gifted to me this summer by my housemate who clearly hates me. I already bitched about it at length in this month's hater roundup over on my Patreon, but god. jesus christ. I've had a lot of fun reading romance novels that are pretty charmingly crappy, but Bailey just fucking sucks. this book has it all: incessant references to the size difference between our hulking he-man protag and his itty bitty love interest, WEIRD gender dynamics, the most half-assed alleged "enemies-to-lovers" I've ever seen (they just kind of don't get along, it's nothing), convoluted fake marriage, "witty" "banter" that really reads like Bailey has never heard two clever or funny people talk to each other before and has to guess, and some viscerally upsetting sex scenes including one that takes place IN THE MIDDLE OF A FLASH FLOOD. also, the male protag is a war criminal. nobody ever shuts up about how he's an ex-Navy SEAL, but they never seem to want to talk about what SEALs actually do. might be kind of a boner killer.

what am I reading now?

The Bandit Queens (Parini Shroff, 2023) - I started this novel a couple days ago and I'm absolutely devouring it; I've got about 100 pages left and cannot wait to see how the story resolves. it's tremendous fun but also hits on emotional depths that I didn't expect going into a black comedy about rural Indian women killing their husbands! I'm very excited to finish it up and talk about it in my next recap; I think it's one of my favorite novels of the year for sure.

Out There Screaming: An Anthology of New Black Horror (edited by Jordan Peele, 2023) - I meant to read this for October but oops, there were too many holds at the library! regardless, the stories have been nothing but bangers so far.

Small Game (Blair Braverman, 2022) - I haven't started this novel yet, but it's been on my list for a while and after listening to several of Braverman's guest episodes on You're Wrong About in a row, I had to check it out. her episode on the Flight 571 crash in the Andes almost had me in tears; cannot recommend it enough.

[thecameronchronicles]

Eighteen: Part 2

TW: Degrading language. Language. Smut. Semi-public sex. Cheating. Semi Dark!Rafe!.

SUMMARY: Your tumultuous relationship with Rafe becomes more bold. 

WORD COUNT: 2200

REQUESTED:

Anonymous asked:

Part two for Eighteen? 🥹 I’m begging

*ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED SO NICELY, LOL ;) *

Eighteen Part 2

You tried not to think too much into it, but you couldn’t help but allow your insecurities to get the best of you as you hadn’t seen Rafe since that night. For someone who hung around nearly as a second skin to your family, it was beyond strange that you hadn’t seen him in nearly three weeks, every day having worsened your diffidence, but also your guilt. You found it difficult to look your sister directly in the eyes, in knowing her boyfriend’s cum had stained your thighs and how desperately you wanted it to happen again. Which was why when he hadn’t shown, a portion of you had become relieved as you found it easier to avoid your sister than him. 

“I think he’s cheating on me…” You heard her speak into her cell as you crossed in front of her room, her words making you swallow hard. 

“No, he hasn’t even tried to call and when he texts it’s just one worded responses…I know, that’s Rafe, but…yeah…He’s-he hasn’t even kissed me since then…I think he met some skank at that party…should have known better than to have him around my sister’s friends, they’re all easy and desperate for his attention. Maybe I just have to get his some other way…” You cringed at the idea of your sister seducing him, even if it was technically her right to do so, but it only worsened the nausea in your stomach. Luckily, you had school to distract you from him, a few more weeks until you would no longer have this as an excuse, but for now, you basked in its ability to be a diversion. 

But through the pointless lessons from teachers already drained from another mundane year coming to a close, your mind fixated on him. Frustratingly so. Enough that you had done everything but write your initials next to his in the margins of your notebook. And annoyingly in accompaniment came the swiftness of the day as you pulled yourself onto the steps of your high school to return home. 

“Your sister asked me to pick you up…says she had something to do with Scarlett, so,”

“I can walk, it’s not far-”

“Wasn’t a request. We both know how she can be if you don’t listen to her. So why don’t you spare us both the headache?” But to this, you only cocked your head as if to offer a silent ‘you know why I can’t’. Yet he was indifferent to this as would only look at you with this lack of care. 

“Then if not for her…” He leaned closer to you to where only you could hear him. “Then to keep anyone else from taking advantage of you being alone, because God knows that ass is still mine…” 

“Rafe-”

“If I have to get out of this car, you won’t walk for a week…” You swallowed hard before looking in either direction, noticing the eyes and whispers to your clear lack of comfortability that he seemed to ignore or simply revel in, as you obliged. 

“There’s my good girl.” The second you got into the car, his hand was on your inner thigh, leading upwards, until you would shift away from him. Once you had done this, he released a scoff before repeating the process, only now, doing so with such conviction to your thigh that his knuckles turned white as your skin turned red beneath this new grip. 

“You don’t want this? Because your body is telling me otherwise-”

“It doesn’t matter what I want, Rafe…You’re with my sister! Who sent you to come get me because she is out buying lingerie because you’ve been ‘pulling away from her’. She thinks you met someone at my birthday party and she plans to get you to focus back on her. And you should! So it doesn’t matter what I want-” Suddenly the car veered off of the main road and into an alcove covered mostly by low hanging branches and the fact it was less traveled and hidden unless you knew it was there.

“And what about what YOU want? I’ve seen you sacrifice for her since I’ve known her-and you.” He was somewhere between angered and compassionate as he spoke towards you.

 “I’ve also seen the asshole you brought around that don’t deserve to breathe your air let alone touch you…and to know someone else got to be with you…” His hand wrapped tightly around his steering wheel as he scoffed. 

“If I thought for one second you didn’t want this, I never would have done it…” He brought you to face him, hand to your cheek but fingers at rest within your hair. “But I’m too invested now…All I can think about is being with you…inside of you…” His eyes fell to your mouth as it would part in anticipation. 

“Rafe-”

“For once…what do YOU want…”

“We can’t-” He pulled you tighter, making you gasp. 

“What. Do. You-” Before he could speak, you had your lips against him. You’d craved him to such a degree that it was an obsession. Everything about him from the sweetness he broadcast solely to you to the way he would rival this and kiss you with such carnality. 

“Come here…” He groaned, unbuckling your belt and pulling you over his lap. 

“Rafe-” He silenced you with another kiss, this one purely desperate as his tongue coaxed your mouth wider, to which you’d obliged. Once he was certain he had convinced you by his actions alone, his fingers came to the hem of your shirt, removing it swiftly, before making the bitter chill of your new skin warm by his hands and his lips. For this, he was thorough and slow, his hands working the back of your bra’s clasp as you set your hand on his chest. 

“I won’t let anyone see you…” He promised as you looked in either direction of the windows surrounding you. 

“I can’t, Rafe…” He let out a deep breath, “Not when I know in a few hours, you’re gonna be with her.”

“But I haven’t been. I haven’t even kissed her…Not when I have you…YOUR lips…” he would kiss them, “YOUR skin…” He traced what was exposed with his fingers, “YOU.”

“Please, I don’t want to complicate-” He rolled his eyes before pulling the button of your shorts free until his hand slid inside, a finger immediately inside of you as he used the arm wrapped around your waist to guide you to ride a second finger now set inside. 

“If you don’t want this, why the fuck are you taking it so well, huh?” When you didn’t answer, he would curve his fingers. “Hmmm?!”

“Please, Rafe…”

“Please? Stop?” You whined. 

“Or come? Huh? Gonna use your big girl words? Cause I’m not in the mood for charades-”

“Please…I want…” The arm from your waist now came to your neck.

“Tell me. I’ll give you anything you want…You just have to ask…” You searched his eyes for a second as you knew he meant it. But the thing you truly wanted wasn’t possible. THIS shouldn’t have been possible. But with the way he touched you, the way he made you feel at peace with your guilt, it was dangerous. Because it was consuming and intoxicating, liberating even. And it was all you wanted. 

“You.” His eyes narrowed for just a second as he licked his lips before that grip tightened. 

“I don’t want to taint you with that…You’re too good-” You shook your head. 

“The things I want aren’t, Rafe…”

“Tell me.” He ordered. “Tell me what you think makes you so depraved…I’m sure I can wage a war against it with my own-”

“I want you to never stop touching me…” He smirked. “It’s all I can think about. And I want you to do it when she’s in the next room…at those weekly family dinners…texting and calling me when you can’t be there, reminding me of this-” You fished his shirt as he deepened the fingers inside of you. 

“I want you to fuck me and never touch her again…” He moved faster. “And I want you to be only mine…”

“Consider it done.” He lifted you just high enough to unbuckle himself, before you were sunk onto him, your expression of pleasure making him react in amusement. 

“THIS is what matters. THIS right fucking here. THIS feeling. You and me-”

“Rafe-” You moaned. 

“You’re my girl…Say it…Say you’re mine.” He demanded, that cruel hand form your necknow moving to your hair before you would hesitate, drawing your own hands to his chest and forcing him as far back in the seat as its stationary rest would allow. 

“Not until you do.” His face twisted with approval, lips curved to a grin and eyes darkening further in lust. 

“Yours.” He growled as he spoke through clenched teeth. “Now you. Tell me what I wanna hear…”

“I want you to touch only me. To only fuck me, Rafe-”

“Say that again-”

“Fuck me, Rafe-” He growled. 

“Nothing feels like this…I swear to God, nothing feels like you…” You nodded. “You can have anything-everything you want…I’ll make it happen…” You smiled before your head would fall back with gravity. “But for right now, just take it…fucking take me like I know you can…”

“Rafe…” You groaned. 

“Get in the back. I want that ass…” You smirked, but only in the mischief of disobeying him for your own benefit, only turning around and setting him back inside of you. Although the space was compressed, his claustrophobic grip was freeing in its own right to make you feel as if you were spacious enough for control. 

“FUCK-” He grunted, a hand to the back of your neck sending your eyes into a roll before you smirked before feeling his finger find your clit through the slickness made by his effect on you. 

“How am I supposed to explain this seat?” You turned back to face him. 

“Seems like a ‘you’ problem-”

He blew out a breath of disbelief before taking that hand around your neck. 

“You’re so fucking perfect, I wanna come the second I’m inside you-”

“Yes! God, please,Rafe!”

“You want me to come?Hmm?”

“YES!” You groaned, whining more than moaning as he basked in it. 

“Then make me. I know you can…I know you can, hard, too…So do it…come on…” He endorsed as you used the dashboard in front of you for stability as he wrapped his hands over your breasts. 

“Shit! Keep clenching like that, and I’m gonna make you squirt so fucking hard this seat will be the least of either of our worries-”

“YES! PLEASE!” 

“Yeah? Then make me come…make me come so I can focus on you…” He breathed quickly, his release imminent and at its edge as you would be rooted in place as he worked those final thrusts into you. But as you would feel him expel into you, the familiar warmth offering that peace you had missed for weeks, you weren’t able to move as his hand at your shoulder kept you in place. 

“Rafe-” As you tried to speak for what sounded like objection or even guilt, he would force you against him until his chest was flush with your back and his hand to your neck kept you there. Meanwhile, his second hand made that descent to your clit. 

“I want you to stain this seat…I want to have you with me wherever I go…I want to remember my good girl like this…so you’re gonna come and you’re gonna come hard for me because that’s what a good girl does. And MY good girl is gonna squirt all over me-”

“Rafe!”

“You feel it?”

“YES!”

“Then do it…give me what I want-make me happy, make me proud.”

“Rafe, I’m gonna-I’m gonna come! I’m coming!” The spurts of your release coating the front of the car would prompt him to growl into you, his hand tightening around your neck in approval, as he would continue. 

“Rafe-”

“Again! AGAIN!” Your body was battered in the best way as he would drive that second release to your edge. 

“FUCK!”

“Yeah? That good?”

“SO GOOD!” You belted. 

“Good…Because this has to hold me over until next time…” You paused as he quickened his fingers. “Because next time, you deserve better than to be fucked in some car-”

“Rafe-”

“Don’t you say it…Just come-just come for me.”

“Oh God…”

“You worship HIM or ME?”

“Yo-YOU!”

“Then you say MY name.”

You nodded, obeying in repetitious moans and groans made behind his name, before you were granted that countless orgasm brought forward by gracious overstimulation. He would assist you into the passenger side of the car, watching you try and compose your trembling legs, as he smirked. 

“Rafe-” As you tried to convince him that this had to end or at least harbor some form of proper discussion, you were silenced by a hand to your jaw and a collision of his lips to yours. 

“THIS is all that matters. We’re too deep in it now…And now since I know what you want…I’m gonna give it to you anytime you want it. Even if it is calling me when I can’t be there…beneath the table at the weekly family dinners…or when she’s next door…You know why?”

You nodded. 

“Because I’m yours.” He agreed with a bob of his head.

“And I’m yours.” 

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae  @belcalis9503

[delicatemusickingdom]

Book 1 Short Story

Addendum: A Memorandum on the Ancient Dragons

We must first start by recalling the name by which they were first called; a name that has been forgotten over time. 

Maybe that is not the right way to put it. After all, there have been few instances in our history when this name was well known to humans, even before this name fell into oblivion. 

Depending on the era and land, they were called by many different names. In many lands, their name was synonymous with that of a god. In other lands, they were often called dragons. But in most cases, they never showed themselves to others, and the people were not aware of their existence. This was because they wished for it to be so, despite being incredible entities that could not be taken lightly.

For a long time, there was no collective term to describe them, and on the contrary, humans didn’t even consider grouping them together as a whole. Even so, it was humans who came up with the name, and they only adopted it because it was a convenient way of addressing themselves when introducing themselves to humans. 

As far as we know, there has never been a race more different and diverse than them in the history of Terca Lumireis. And now, as the world transitions into a new stage, it seems unlikely that one will ever appear again in the future. 

They are hidden guardians and great servants of the world, and also the point of axis on which it turns. 

I speak of the clan of ancient dragons, also known as the Entelexeia. 

****

As with their name, it is inaccurate to use the word ‘race’ to describe their kind. For no blood relation exists between them, save for a handful of exceptions. In fact, in terms of appearance they bear little resemblance to one another. The reason being, from the approximate viewpoint of their species, they are an extremely disorderly group. 

They are creatures that each had their own different origins but shared a common trait. As they gathered together, eventually they came to be known as the Entelexeia. That is who they are, and in that sense, they are closer to what us humans would call an organisation than a race. 

Regardless of whether they are a single race or not, what exactly led to the formation of such a group of extraordinarily odd-looking creatures?  In the first place, how was each individual Entelexeia even born? 

As for the answer to that question, it may sound strange to say that even the Entelexeia themselves do not know for sure — for they are beings with long lifespans and profound wisdom, and they remember many things long gone. 

But they did not possess this wisdom from the very beginning. They were not even born as Entelexeia. They were born first, and then after enduring many trials and tribulations, eventually became Entelexeia. 

As I mentioned before, the reason why each of them looks different from their brethren appearance-wise is because they each originate from a different species.  

To put it this way, they were nothing more than beasts at first. As beasts, they lacked any spark of intelligence, and were but slaves to their instincts. Or maybe they weren’t even beasts — they could have been fish, insects, or even plants that couldn’t make a sound. Either way, they used to be nothing more than just a couple of living bodies. 

It is the work of aer, the source of power that fills all things in Terca

Lumireis, that chose them and forged them into the supreme beings they are today. 

Because their origins date back to an era when they lacked intelligence, they themselves have almost no memories of that time. Everything said these days is based on the vague impressions of those who have barely survived, as well as their observations of the growth process of their other brethren who joined their genealogy later on. 

The process of the Entelexeia transforming into a species of intelligent, individual beings, as well as what comes after that, goes something like this:

For example, let us say there is a herd of beasts. Suppose there happens to be a high concentration of aer in the herd’s territory, where they live. As you very well know, if the amount of aer — the source of all life — in an area is too dense, it can be harmful instead. What happens if the herd is exposed to this excess aer? If they possessed any common sense, they would migrate elsewhere, but if they were unlucky, they would die before then. However, occasionally there will appear some beings that will adapt to this excess aer. They adapt and mutate, and at the end those who survive become an existence similar to but completely different from their original species. Roughly speaking, this is the first, or lowest, of their rankings. 

Most of them end up as eccentric individuals that only last one generation. In some cases, they pass down their traits to their offspring, forming a species different from that of their ancestors. However, there are some individuals who do neither of this, and instead adapt further to aer, or in other words, become even more dependent on aer. This is the next stage in their rankings. 

At this stage, in most cases, the individual can survive by consuming aer alone. They no longer look anything like the original beast they once were, but a completely different existence, and they have no choice but to leave the herd and live alone. It is believed that this is when they first start to show signs of intelligence. After all, for many Entelexeia, the earliest memories that they can remember clearly begin from this period. 

Once their intelligence arises, their ability to remember, as well as perceive and understand things begin to emerge and take root as well. It is not just their minds, but their bodies as well that undergo a transformation, and those that survive the changes acquire abilities far surpassing that of an ordinary beast. 

Although they are already quite powerful by this stage, surprisingly enough, there are quite a few of them who lose their lives during this stage. 

This is because as their adaptation progresses, they begin to require more aer, but at this stage it isn’t easy to obtain enough aer to satisfy their needs. 

And so, they each sought out aer krenes — springs from which aer comes forth. But needless to say, aer krenes were not common in the ancient times — let alone nowadays. Some died of starvation before they could find out, or died during territorial disputes for possession of the aer krene. Even the strong had their own struggle for survival. 

Now that they have successfully obtained an aer krene for themselves and secured a stable supply of aer, they can finally proceed to the next rank. The development that happens next is very different for the first few Entelexeia compared to the rest that come after them. This is because those who came before had to first answer the question of who they were on their own, while those who came after that had the guidance of the pioneers. 

There is no way of determining for sure which one of them was the very first to appear. All we know is that there was conflict at this stage, and it was much fiercer than in any of the previous stages. It is believed that the entirety of the oldest generation perished in this conflict. 

Even in the distant ancient times, those who had actually participated in the conflict were no longer alive. However, the remnants of memories of those days — concerning the earliest days of their history — are still passed down to this day. 

According to those records, thanks to the aer krene, they no longer needed to hunt other creatures for food, and they spent a long time in isolation. The Entelexeia only used their power against those who carelessly trespassed on their territory. 

As we all know, aer transforms into matter in various stages. The Entelexeia directly absorb this immaterial trait before that can happen, greatly influencing them as a result. Their bodies gain extraordinary abilities, and more remarkably, their minds experience an exceptionally large transformation and growth. It was this characteristic that made them not only the strange, exotic individuals that they were, but also the majestic species known as the Entelexeia. But it was also because of this that gave rise to the aforementioned conflict. 

They have absorbed the pure energy of aer and gained a long lifespan as a result. Combined with their physical prowess, it seemed like nothing that could be a threat to them anymore. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. It was the ones who had risen to the same heights as them, in other words, their future brethren, who would become their enemies. 

****

Freedom from external threats, a long lifespan, and their mental transformation. The combination of these three factors allowed them to rapidly develop their intelligence. Memories accumulated over time led to knowledge, and contemplation of knowledge led to wisdom. 

The first thing they learned when they awakened was that they could not find their brethren around them, and that their existence was an alien, lonely one. But their minds had developed further in a different direction and attained something else — the power to transcend the limits of their physical body and to act outside of it. They gained the ability to communicate with other beasts, but the beasts had no minds of their own, and simple-mindedly obeyed their will. There could never be communication on equal standings, and thus they remained lonely.

Even so, they greedily continued to extend their mind outwards, touching upon the hidden secrets and deepening their understanding of this world which held aer at its pinnacle. Unlike their bodies, their minds were seemingly boundless, reaching far and wide to all corners of the world. 

Until finally, they met a mind that was different from theirs, yet similar in that they had also transcended the limits of their physical body. It is not difficult to imagine the surprise and gratefulness they felt at that time — and most likely as well, their caution. 

There are times when fellow Entelexeia originating from different species encounter difficulties when conversing with each other. But communication by thoughts progresses much more smoothly than with words. Physically, they weren’t that much different from each other, and because of that, they rarely came into conflict with one another. 

But as more and more minds came into contact with one another, the one-on-one communications grew to become conflict between factions. On one hand, mutual understanding was born. But on the other hand, a situation similar to our human struggle for supremacy began, which led to a conflict on an even larger scale than the ones before it. 

The question of who they were was also one of the sources of their conflict. There was the stance of the Entelexeia of the afterwards — of their self-appointed mission, while there were others who hadn’t decided on what stance to take, or had other stances. 

Thus began the oldest war recorded in history that involved all of the Entelexeia. At that time, they had been unaware of the extent of their strength, and the power that they unleashed was said to have been tremendous. 

The aer may have given them long lifespans, but they were not immortal. They fought, were injured, and died. Their deaths were almost always violent. 

Perhaps this conflict happened more than once — with other species getting mixed up in the conflict — which led to their extinction. Maybe they perished, and after a long period of time, a new group appeared, and the same conflict repeated itself. There is no way of determining for sure if the Entelexeia we know are direct descendants of those who first appeared. 

But at the very least, the Entelexeia — the ones we know — finally realised the folly of fighting amongst each other. Before the war could conclude, they saw the devastation they had caused, and the depth of the wounds they had inflicted on the world, and they faltered. At that moment, the sheer magnitude of the shock they received was enough to determine how they would live from thereafter — as existences hidden from the world. 

They swore to make it their duty to heal those wounds, and once the world had healed, to never repeat the same mistake. 

Through conflict and restoration, they came to understand that not only did balance of aer maintain the world, but also that the disturbance of this balance would put the world in danger. And that just as many living species played a role in each others’ lives, for the Entelexeia who lived by only absorbing aer, they had found their reason to exist — to maintain the balance of aer. What was once a claim made by a few of them very early on in the past, was now finally becoming an ideology that formed the basis for the Entelexeia as a whole.

Once again, they began to live in isolation, staying holed up in their own territories. But their minds were free to roam anywhere around the world as they pleased, so their communications never ceased. They could gather at any time they wanted without ever needing to leave their roosts. 

In other words, an ‘Assembly of the Dragons’. Ancient legends spoke of the Entelexeia making their appearances when they gathered, but in reality, there were far more ‘assemblies’ held that could not be seen by the human eye. 

This is how the ones who will later be called the Entelexeia, dragons, and many other names by humans, were born.

****

As I mentioned earlier, the Entelexeia are less like a race and more like a single organisation. They are a group that are bound together not by blood, but by their ideologies — a loose, vague organisation that watches over and protects the world. And yet they were beings endowed with a long lifespan and immense power, unsusceptible to change easily. 

Even after establishing their consciousness as a group, they simply refer to themselves as the collective ‘we’. A concept always has the various concepts associated with it. For the Entelexeia who converse not by words but by thoughts, they can transmit all of that information in one go, without needing further explanations like humans do. In fact, even the most superficial of concepts can be expressed in a single word for them. 

For example, humans gave each of the Entelexeia a name, but even those names had a great difference in meaning for humans and for the Entelexeia. For example, to humans, the names ‘The Swift One’ or ‘The Fierce One’ are mere sounds, or at best, it helps to express the addressee’s most characteristic traits. On the other hand, to the Entelexeia, these names are like headings that provide a vast amount of information about the addressee. 

Let us liken this to a book written on a certain subject. Humans first convey only the title, and if there is a need to afterwards, pick up the book for the first time, and flip through the pages in search of the desired description. The Entelexeia, on the other hand, convey the entire contents of the book from the very start. 

When we humans need to express something, we often find ourselves worrying over what words and amount of information are suitable and get into a bind because of that. The Entelexeia have no such worries.  

Once the ‘Assembly of Dragons’ was formed, the mental reach of the ‘Assembly’ covered almost the entirety of Terca Lumireis. With their extended minds, they could sense the moment a newcomer joined their rankings, and would quickly guide that newcomer to join their ‘Assembly’. 

On rare occasions, there would be some of them who would not agree with the ‘Assembly’s’ mission and refuse to join, but there were very few who could continue to resist and maintain their isolation. To return to a disconnected state after experiencing that mass gathering of minds must have felt like an unbearable loneliness. 

Those who persist in living in isolation are usually left alone, but if they are deemed a threat to the ‘Assembly’, they will be swiftly destroyed. However, while they occasionally show off their authoritarian side, the existence of the ‘Assembly’ was the Entelexeia’s way of showing their determination not to let the world fall into ruin again. Certainly, they did play a certain role in preventing newcomers from bringing forth new chaos and destruction.  

****

The Entelexeia were originally born due to the aer’s intervention. Many other mutant species were born through the same process, and like all other species, humans were not immune to the influence of aer. 

Even the Entelexeia do not remember when or where humans first appeared. But by the time they noticed, humans were already all over the land, and before long, rapidly increased in number. 

In the eyes of the Entelexeia, out of all of the beasts, humans were the weakest. But in exchange humans were gifted with intelligence as their weapon, and they wielded it in a way different from that of the Entelexeia. They used technology to make tools to compensate for what their bodies lacked. 

The number of humans increased, and their settlements expanded rapidly. Among them, there were some who were bold enough to venture into forbidden lands, where they met the Entelexeia. They feared and worshipped Entelexeia, calling them beast-like gods, or namely, dragons. 

But in most cases, the Entelexeia would avoid contact with humans, and retreat to remote places that humans could not reach. The Entelexeia thought that staying with humans would mean that sooner or later, a conflict with humans would occur, and if that happened, many human lives would be taken. 

At that time, they hadn’t fully understood the implications behind humans and their technology. They simply saw humans as a species of somewhat eccentric beasts, and chose to avoid needless destruction. For the Entelexeia, who had already accomplished more than that without the use of technology or words, it was not an easy task understanding human nature. 

However, the Entelexeia had made their homes at aer krenes, or springs of aer. Humans continued to worship this mysterious place as a sacred land, even after the dragons had retreated from the place. And from the humans who had come into contact with that large amount of aer, eventually a new species, and a new type of people was born. 

The new race of people looked roughly human in appearance, but unlike their ancestors, they had a pair of long antennae extending from the back of their heads. With this organ, they were able to sense the presence of aer hidden within matter. As generations passed, their power grew strong, until they gained the ability to read the true essence of matter almost intuitively. 

With their abilities that could only be described as genius by outsiders, they were called the Krityans.

The Krityans were also people with a strong thirst for knowledge, and they took great joy in creating new technology. They invented many things, and contributed greatly to the expansion of human civilization. And finally, they invented what could be called the pinnacle of their achievements: the blastia.

****

Blastia. The most powerful and ingenious tools humans have ever created in all of history. Its history is also the history of the Entelexeia’s pain and suffering. 

It is said that it all began with an unknown Kritya who discovered a mysterious glowing stone in the ‘sacred land’. With their Krityan ability, they were able to sense a great power lying hidden inside the stone, and brought it back with them. 

The stone was called apatheia due to its extraordinary properties and rarity. Afterwards, it was made apparent that this apatheia was created by the Enetelexeia. 

The Entelexeia absorb aer, but they often absorb more than they need to in order to stabilise the aer. During that time, the excess aer will accumulate inside their body. 

This vast amount of accumulated aer is folded and compressed by the Entelexeia, and exists in a partially-assimilated state inside the Entelexeia’s body. When the Entelexeia dies, all that aer condenses into a single point and materialises as a physical form in the material world. The Entelexeia believe that this phenomenon is an unconscious action that occurs during their last moments before their death to prevent the accumulated aer from dispersing into the surroundings. 

The crystal was in and of itself an incredibly dense mass of aer. As a product of compression, it was endowed with an extremely complex structure, and its property that allowed it to control aer in a stable manner was unparalleled. To humans, and especially to the Krityans, it was a treasure that no precious stone or jewel could substitute for. 

Having deciphered the properties of the apatheia, the Krityans devised a completely new device — one that had never been seen before. It was a device that gathered the aer omnipresent in the surrounding area, and used it as a power source to produce all kinds of different powers for usage. 

In order to use it, the Krityans also devised a special technique to shatter the apatheia into pieces — its power in its original state was too great to handle, even with Krityan technology.

The fragments of the apatheia, trimmed down to an appropriate size and engraved with the appropriate control magic formulas, were called cores. By storing them in a dedicated body, they became one device — a blastia. 

The blastia operated using aer, and their power seemed almost inexhaustible. This convenience led to them exploding in popularity. Countless blastia were created for all kinds of purposes. 

But the apatheia that humans obtained were originally from Entelexeia that had perished during the ancient era of conflict. The Entelexeia had long lifespans, their numbers were limited to begin with, and the rate at which their population increased was sluggish. The precious apatheia were objects of desire for humans, and were often the cause for conflict between them.  

This was at a time when humans were at the peak of civilization. The era, named after its central city, was called the Geraios civilization. It was a golden age, as well as the beginning of a dark age. 

As blastia became widespread in human society, the supply of aer in the world depleted. As if to resist this, the aer krenes in the various regions began to behave abnormally. Normally, the aer krenes would slowly produce aer and replenish only the aer that had been depleted. But the aer krenes reacted to this rapid consumption of aer, and began releasing excessive amounts of aer.

On one side, there was a shortage of aer, and on the other side, there was a surplus of aer. Lands with a shortage of aer fell into ruin, while lands with a surplus of aer saw a drastic change in the surrounding environments, killing the creatures that lived there. Those that survived turned into grotesque monsters. 

Humans were slow to notice this abnormal phenomenon. The supply of aer was being exhausted in all settlements, but with the improved performance of blastia, the blastias’ ability to gather aer had grown stronger, and any excessive aer released by nearby aer krenes was offset by an even greater consumption of aer. And the mutations and ruined lands had occurred in lands so far removed that they attracted almost no attention at all. 

But the Entelexeia were different. They sensed not only their aer krene’s, but the whole world’s balance of aer was rapidly collapsing. At first, they didn’t know what was causing it. The ‘Assembly’ gathered, and many discussions were held, and eventually, the connection between humans’ actions and the current situation came to light. 

At first, they didn’t take this opinion seriously. No matter how numerous humans were, it was impossible to imagine that a race of mere eccentric beasts had the power to bring about an abnormal and worldwide phenomenon. But compared to the Entelexeia, the actions of the short-lived humans were far more radical, and as the ‘Assembly’ continued to deliberate, the situation only grew worse and worse. 

At that point, the ‘Assembly’ agreed that something had to be done. But supposing humans were the cause, how were they supposed to pin down what exactly was causing it, and why? They decided to seek out the answer within the humans themselves. 

Having already reached the stage where they could interfere with matter with their minds, they selected a member from among them and used their powers to reshape that member’s body into a human’s. In other words, they would take on a human form and enter human society, and understand what it meant to be a human. That Enetelexeia would later come to be called the ‘Speaker’, for they were the first to attempt and succeed in conversing with humans. 

But at that time, the ‘Speaker’ had gone through much suffering and trial and error, but had not yet reached the stage where they were able to converse with humans. Through much observation and deduction, they learnt of the existence of the vast number of blastia causing the disturbance in the aer, and that at their core lay what was once apatheia. They also learnt humans were the ones that had created these blastia. 

The ‘Speaker’ brought back all that they had learnt and relayed it to their brethren. The Entelexeia were greatly shocked, and the whole ‘Assembly’ was thrown into disarray. However, their method of using thoughts to converse left no room for doubt — it was the truth. 

They couldn’t understand at all why humans would do such a thing. To the Entelexeia, the concept of wealth was only a means of ensuring survival, and the principles behind the humans’ actions and desire for more than that was incomprehensible no matter how much they thought about it. 

So they used their own standards to judge the situation. According to the standards of the Entelexeia, whose mission was to protect the world’s stability, this act that upset this stability was, without a doubt, evil. The humans, who had committed this crime on such a large scale, were nothing short of an evil that could not be overlooked. 

Evil. Humans were an existence that harmed the world. They had to be destroyed. 

To make matters even worse, through a recent series of unfortunate coincidences, humans had learnt that the apatheia were created by the Entelexeia. Forgetting their former fear and reverence for the Entelexeia, humans began openly targeting them, all in order to flourish and prosper through their blastia. 

The Entelexeia had never paid any special attention to the apatheia itself. But humans attempting to kill them in order to obtain the apatheia, which would then be used to create blastia that caused disturbances in the aer, was unacceptable. 

Against the Entelexeia, the humans wielded incredibly powerful blastia unimaginable by today’s standards. But they were more or less useless against the Entelexeia. In short, even the most powerful blastia used aer — taking on the Entelexeia with blastia was like taking on a volcano with a torch. 

Though the humans were many in number, it looked like they had no hope of winning. But the tides changed when a certain clan appeared to take centre stage. 

Despite being human, the clan had a strong affinity with aer. Like the Krityans, they were a clan of humans that had mutated under the influence of aer, but their temperaments were completely different. 

They were different from the majority of humans in that they possessed incredibly powerful abilities, and could unleash these powers without the help of blastia. They were, so to speak, living and breathing blastia, and would later be known as the ‘Children of the Full Moon’. 

In terms of sheer power alone, they were nowhere as powerful as the Entelexeia, but their power was more adept at disturbing the aer rather than harmonising with it. The Entelexeia were able to interfere with even the most complex and intricate spell formulas, but the ‘Children of the Full Moon’s’ power was crude, but just as equally destructive. The Entelexeia had incorporated vast amounts of aer into their body through an intricate and complex weaving. The ‘Children of the Full Moon’s’ power disrupted that harmony in their bodies, which was fatal for the Entelexeia. 

The appearance of the ‘Children of the Full Moon’ completely turned the tides of the war. The ‘Children of the Full Moon’ stood at the forefront of the human camp, and fought against the Entelexeia. 

That wasn’t the only bad news. When they fought, the Entelexeia wielded the aer that had accumulated in their bodies over a long period of time, but the ‘Children of the Full Moon’ were similar to the blastia in that they depended on the aer in the surroundings to wield their powers. In other words, their actions stimulated the aer krenes vigorously. And because they exercised a power even greater than that of blastia, the reaction was quite severe. 

To counter this threat, the Entelexeia mobilised all kinds of beasts. The beasts were inhabitants of the world, and the Entelexeia were reluctant to use them. But the Entelexeia had no choice, as they could no longer directly lead the charge like before. It was no longer about obtaining victory, but avoiding defeat. 

On the humans’ side, blastia was effective against normal beasts, and so they deployed many hoplon blastia to counter the beasts. 

Thus there was no limit to the disturbances of the aer, and by now the berserk actions of the aer krenes could no longer be suppressed. The Entelexeia had to get the situation under control while fighting the humans at the same time. 

The Entelexeia desperately tried to take in the enormous quantity of aer that would originally have taken them tens, or hundreds of years to absorb. Their actions were rooted in their fierce determination to prevent the world being destroyed. But as mighty as the Entelexeia were, their power was not infinite. Destruction came in an unexpected way.

****

It was called ‘Adephagos’, the Star Devourer. As its name suggested, it was an entity that wanted to devour the entire world. 

As the Entelexeia continued to take in aer, when they finally reached their limit, they mutated, and transformed into a terrible catastrophe. Losing their original noble form and rationality, they regressed into a being with extremely primitive traits, partially like aer itself. As these beings fused together and expanded, they swallowed various things, assimilated and absorbed them, and returned them to aer. In other words, it had the power to revert the world back to its state before it was created, and it was with this power that it attacked Terca Lumireis. 

Fortunately, its progress was slow, and similar to that of a plague, the nature of its expansion was gradual. Otherwise, the Entelexia and humanity, not to mention the world itself, would have quickly been destroyed. 

Neither the Entelexeia nor the humans had any method of dealing with the ‘Adephagos’ quickly, and although it worsened the catastrophe, they continued to fight between them. 

But at that moment, a single hope presented itself. The ‘Speaker’ — the Entelexeia who had taken human form, and had once infiltrated human society in order to investigate them — had secretly returned to be among the humans and tried as much as possible to better understand them. At first, they had done so to find a way to win against the humans, but as their understanding deepened, they began to see that humans were not necessarily evil beings. 

And when they learned of the coming catastrophe, they managed to decipher the human language before it was too late, and in turn found a way to convey the thoughts of the Entelexeia. Through an unexpected turn of events they were saved, and they finally managed to form a friendship with a single person. 

Through their conversations together, the ‘Speaker’ and the human agreed that the fighting had to stop in order to avoid destruction. They desperately tried to persuade their own brethren, and though at times they were denounced as traitors, they never gave up, and endeavoured as much as they could to bridge the gap between the two races. Although there were still people on both sides who opposed the movement, the two sides finally stopped fighting and joined forces to combat the catastrophe. 

But both the Entelexeia and humans had exhausted their resources fighting each other and the catastrophe, and now it seemed impossible for them to destroy the Adephagos. Humans couldn’t do anything without disturbing the aer even further, and the power of the Entelexeia were too small in the face of the ‘Adephagos’. 

However, upon learning of the Entelexeia’s mission and the error of their ways, the ‘Children of the Full Moon’ decided to sacrifice themselves. With the wisdom and skill of both races combined, they built a single, enormous blastia. 

Unlike ordinary blastia, this blastia was powered by the lives of many of the ‘Children of the Full Moon’. It was named the Enduring Shrine of Zaude in hopes of combating the catastrophe. That being said, even the world’s largest blastia wasn’t powerful enough to defeat the ‘Adephagos’. The best it could do was cover the entire world in a barrier to keep the ‘Adephagos’ away from it. 

During the construction of Zaude, the remaining Entelexeia and ‘Children of the Full Moon’ anti-peace factions rose up in rebellion against their respective kin. Of all things, the masterminds behind the rebellion were the leaders of the respective races. Although sworn enemies, they both insisted on continuing the war, and risking their lives to fight for world dominance. 

But those who wished for peace were firmly united, and they managed to suppress the rebels. The Entexelia that rebelled were killed, and the ‘Children of the Full Moon’ that rebelled were imprisoned. 

The completed Zaude was activated, and with this, the world narrowly managed to escape its destruction. 

****

Though it was only a stopgap measure, the catastrophe had been averted. But the war between the two races, as well as the ‘Adephagos’, had left great scars on the world. 

As leaders of the exhausted humans, the few remaining ‘Children of the Full Moon’ discussed with the Entelexeia regarding the future of the world. Since the blastia were the cause of all this, the humans promised to abandon them. However, they were allowed to keep the barrier blastia that protected their cities. This barrier could not stop the Entelexeia, much less the ‘Adephagos’, but it was still effective against ordinary monsters. The series of commotions had led to the disturbance in the aer, and this had resulted in the appearance of a large number of monsters that had mutated from mere wild beasts. They had to protect themselves from this threat. 

That being said, all of the barrier blastia were built in the shape of weapons aimed at the skies, implying the threat of the catastrophe concealed up there. 

The Krityans, who had invented the blastia, performed a procedure on their entire race to seal their talents, and then disappeared from the public stage of history. 

Many lands had been destroyed by the ‘Adephagos’, and the number of remaining human settlements were incredibly small compared to before the war. And the Entelexeia had greatly diminished in numbers again. 

Now that the humans had learnt of the mission and sacrifices made by the Entelexeia, they felt a deep sense of reverence for the Entelexeia. It was around this time that the Entelexeia were conferred the name Entelexeia, meaning the most ancient, and most senior of all beings that served the world of their own accord. 

The ‘Speaker’, the one who had been the impetus to avoiding the catastrophe, was given the new title of the ‘Great One’ in honour of their achievement. They succeeded the previous leader, who had rebelled and been destroyed in the wake of the catastrophe, and received blessings from both their brethren and humans. 

However, their friend was not among those who did. That human was a ‘Child of the Full Moon’ as well, and had taken the initiative to voluntarily sacrifice their life to make the construction of Zaude possible. 

The Entelexeia tried their best to restore the devastated lands all over the world. But due to the decrease in their numbers, they were ultimately unable to restore the lands back to the way they were before. After making various agreements with the humans, the Entelexeia left for their respective homes and disappeared from the human world. 

These are the events of a thousand years ago. 

****

The catastrophe was gone, and the technology used to create blastia was lost. Apart from a limited number of barrier blastia, there was no longer any source of disturbance to the aer.

For the next few centuries, the world slowly healed, and was generally peaceful. But the Entelexeia constantly sensed the presence of the ‘Adephagos’ that dwelled on the other side of Zaude’s barrier, and this weighed heavily on their minds. 

Humans lived in cities protected by barriers, and never ventured outside of the barrier unless it was necessary. Outside the barriers, the forests and plants had grown back, but monsters also roamed freely, and it was no longer safe like before. 

Human society proclaimed themselves a single ‘Empire’, but the territory they occupied was only a small dot on the map. Their leaders, the ‘Children of the Full Moon’, mingled with other humans, and their bloodlines thinned. 

Because of the peace, humans began to proliferate once more. Soon, their numbers grew too large for the barrier to contain them all, and some of them were forced into the outside world. They would wander around outside, in fear of the monsters, until they eventually come across abandoned barrier blastia. After much trial and error, they would succeed in repairing the blastia, and acquire the protection of the barrier. 

Thus a new era began, that paved the way to the expansion of human settlements. Barrier blastia were rarely found, and the chance that they could be repaired was even smaller. But even so, humans gradually expanded their sphere of activities once again. 

This was an act that went against their agreement with the Entelexeia. But things had not yet reached the stage where the impact could not be ignored, and so the Entelexeia deliberately refrained from interfering, citing that the humans had done so as a necessary evil for survival. 

But the Entelexeia did not really understand.

Unlike the Entelexeia, who had lived for many years and conversed with each other by directly sharing their thoughts with one another, humans could only convey their knowledge and experiences through oral tradition and writing at best, and could never fully capture the element of reality in them. No matter how careful they were in passing the information to their successors, there was always going to be something lost in transition. Once the knowledge was lost, there was no way to recover it. And as generations passed, humans forgot about the catastrophe, as well as the Entelexeia. 

Thus, when the humans found the abandoned blastia, they only thought of them as precious relics of the past. All they remembered about the blastia was that they were a legacy of the glorious ancient civilisation, invented by the Krityans. Despite there being some who spoke of vague recollections of a taboo, in face of the usefulness of the blastia, they were all ignored. 

The Krityans had sealed away their memories and techniques a long time ago, and there was no longer anyone to correct the mistakes humans were making. 

The progress was slow, as at that point humans hadn’t learnt how to make new blastia and had to rely on excavation. But one by one the blastia were brought back to life, and the disturbance of aer started once again. 

Another few hundred years passed, and now the state of the scale of disturbance in the aer could no longer be denied. 

At that point, the Entelexeia finally gave up pretending not to notice the problem. An ‘Assembly’ was held, and the Entelexeia discussed how to deal with the humans’ betrayal. Why were humans repeating the same mistake, knowing that it will lead to disaster just like the last time? Were humans a cursed species that sought destruction? Even the ‘Great One’, who should have understood humans the best, was puzzled by the humans’ habit of acting like the self and the masses were two different creatures. 

Even if the humans had forgotten, the Entelexeia remembered. They remembered the terorr of the ‘Adephagos’, the sacrifices of their brethren, and the actions of the humans as the culprit behind it all. 

As they grew more and more concerned, something happened that made the situation even worse. A single human had revived the technology used to produce blastia. Moreover, these blastia were far more powerful than any blastia in the past, which meant they disturbed the aer even more violently. In addition, the fact that this human was a Krityan only served to strengthen their conviction. 

Among the ‘Assembly’, the voices calling for some kind of punishment for the humans grew more and more dominant, and the ‘Great One’ grew more and more weary, and was on the verge of giving up. But a chance encounter with a single human man changed all that. This man, too, was unable to fit in with his own community, and wandered the wilderness alone. But when he met the transcended Entelexeia, he treated them with the same reverence as the humans of the past did, and also expressed a deep sympathy for their mission.

Thanks to this new human friend, the ‘Great One’ recalled their feelings for the world, and returned to their brethren and persuaded them to refrain from excessive punishment. They reminded their brethren that humans were also part of the world, and insisted that it was the blastia, not humans, that needed to be eliminated. They hoped that, like before, the two races could resolve the situation by communicating with one another. 

The human friend also returned to the ‘Empire’ and tried to persuade the people. But the people enjoyed the benefits that the blastia had brought them and had forgotten all about the catastrophe, and would not listen to him. 

Even on the Entelexeia’s side, there were radicals that refused to obey the ‘Great One’, and insisted on eradicating the humans. These Entelexeia had always harboured a hatred towards humans, and on top of that, were trying to take advantage of the decline of the ‘Great One’ to seize the initiative. Quite a few of the Entelexeia were in agreement with this. 

The ‘Great One’ could not ignore this, and the ‘Assembly’ finally decided that certain actions had to be taken. With this, they hoped to prevent anyone from taking any extreme or drastic actions. 

However, the radical faction went against the decisions of the ‘Assembly’. They went beyond what was allowed by the ‘Assembly’, took advantage of the chaos, and attempted to purge the very species known as humans. 

Against monsters, the barrier blastia’s defences were watertight, but in face of the Entelexeia, they were useless. Many cities were unable to do anything and were destroyed. Only Zaphias, the capital of the ‘Empire’, was spared from becoming a target. This was because Zaphias played an important role in helping Zaude function to protect the world. However, humans had forgotten even that, and all they could do was tremble in fear at their imminent destruction. 

It was only thanks to the ‘Great One’ and the other Entelexeia that humans were spared from extinction. Even at this stage, they still disapproved of eradicating humans. They battled with their fellow radical brethren and eventually defeated them, though not without great costs on both sides. 

Both sides took action out of their love for the world, but they split because of that, and one side was annihilated. How must the remaining Entelexeia have felt? Their numbers, which were already in decline, had now decreased even further. 

Humans called this war the ‘Great War’, but they knew nothing of its true nature. They thought they had won the war despite suffering great losses. But in reality, they had only fought against the hordes of monsters sent forth by the Entelexeia, and were unaware of the Entelexeia’s existence, let alone crossed swords with them.

The ones who had fought against the Entelexeia were none other than the Entelexeia themselves, and their battles had occurred in places the human eye could not see. 

At their human friend’s request, the Entelexeia’s leader, the ‘Great One’, fought against the radical faction’s leader and defeated them. Both sides had almost met in mutual death in that battle, but what killed the ‘Great One’ was a group of humans who secretly feared their power. 

We deceived and killed our own saviour, and what’s more, we falsely claimed it as a victory for humanity. 

But despite all of the sacrifices made, the world had still not escaped from its crisis. The number of Entelexeia had dwindled even further, and humans had also suffered a heavy blow. And yet, the calamity continued to hang over everyone’s heads, as it always had been. And the new type of blastia continued to be produced in secret. 

Communication between the Entelexeia and the humans had ceased after the ‘Great War’, but the scale of human society that used blastia had also shrunk as a result, so the world gained a brief period of respite. 

Humans fought among each other, and there were also those who secretly held enmity towards the Entelexeia because of the war. These two things intertwined, and became the breeding ground for the next disaster. 

****

And so, ten years passed. 

A ‘Child of the Full Moon’ bearing powers as powerful as their ancestors, as well as a new type of blastia, appeared. I will not go into the details of how the thoughts and intentions of the Entelexeia and humans clashed, or how the hidden existence of Zaude was revealed, or of the second coming of the ancient catastrophe. For this is a story about the Entelexeia, not humans.

Due to the error of a single human who sought power that surpassed even the Entelexeia themselves, the seal on Zaude was damaged, and the ‘Adephagos’ returned. Its power was incomparable to that of the Entelexeia and humans even when back in their heydays, and everyone thought that this time it would finally be the end for Terca Lumireis. 

But the mighty work of aer had prepared for this, and gave us hope. 

Humans’ attempts to suppress the disturbance of aer had resulted in something happening beyond their wildest expectations. It was something that had never existed in the entire history of Terca Lumireis until now — the birth of a new species.  

Apparently it was an attempt to immerse an apatheia, untouched by human hands, in the flow of aer and use it as a conduit to control the aer. Just as the aer that the Entelexeia absorbed condensed into the apatheia, the apatheia absorbed the surrounding aer and became one with it, forming an immaterial being with a will of its own. 

This was the birth of the first elemental spirit. 

The elemental spirits, who no longer possessed a physical body, could suppress and manipulate aer in ways even the Entelexeia could not. 

The elemental spirits also harboured the will and memories of the Entelexeia that had formed the apatheia from which they were born. The Entelexeia were beings thought to be at the pinnacle of all life. Even after death, there was still a higher stage of evolution awaiting them. It was a strange turn of events, if you think about it; that this could only be accomplished with the help of both the Entelexeia, guardians of the world, and the humans, harbingers of so many disasters to the world. 

Out of the remaining Entelexeia, some of them were already on the verge of becoming the ‘Adephagos’, but one by one they were guided to advance to the next stage to become spirits. 

But there was someone else who thought differently. He, just like the radical faction of the Entelexeia, believed that humans, who had brought the catastrophe upon this world, should atone for their sins. He was none other than the friend of the ‘Great One’, and he sought to use the lives of all humans to slay the ‘Adephagos’, just as the ‘Children of the Full Moon’ did for Zaude a thousand years ago. 

There were those who did not approve of this, and challenged him to a fight and defeated him. They gathered together the power of the spirits, added in took the power of all of the blastia cores in the world — crystals that had once been part of an apatheia — and slammed it into the ‘Adephagos’. But the ‘Adephagos’ was so huge that it seemed like even a blow containing the full force of the world was not enough. 

But at that moment, the friend of the ‘Great One’ lent them his strength, and this became the last push they needed to destroy the ‘Adephagos’. 

He had once turned his back on humanity after the death of the ‘Great One’. But after witnessing how humans had chosen to let go of the blastia, he decided to entrust his hopes to that possibility once more. 

The ‘Adephagos’ was torn asunder, and through the power of the spirits, it transformed back into its original form. Its body turned into countless lights, and those lights regained their wisdom from when they had once been Entelexeia and turned into new spirits, which then spread across the land of Terca Lumireis. 

All of the blastia cores underwent the same transformation and became spirits. The spirits that used to be one apatheia became many individuals, but at the same time, they were one individual. 

Their numbers were so great they were enough to fill the entire world, and it was here that the era of blastia came to an end in both name and in reality. 

****

And so the world entered into a new stage. 

After spending a long period as  chrysalides, the Entelexeia had turned into the butterflies known as the elemental spirits. This was their reward for their long period of service to the world. This was the fruits of their existence. 

Now that the spirits have quickly brought aer under their control, we will most likely never have to bear witness to any incident of the disturbance of aer wreaking havoc on the world just like in the past. 

It is an inconvenient and tough era that humans have entered, for them who have lost the use of blastia. But working together to overcome this catastrophe has given them confidence, as well as the strength to face this new difficulty. 

As for the Entelexeia, indeed there are some who remain that have yet to become spirits. I don’t know if the day will ever come when they will become spirits. Will it be through the guidance of the spirits, or with the help of humans — just as the first spirits did? Or will they continue to absorb aer just as they always have been, while waiting for that day to arrive? 

In the first place, now that the aer has stabilised, can a new Entelexeia even be born? There have been reports that along with the aer’s stabilisation, the number of aer krenes have decreased. 

The Entelexeia, ‘Children of the Full Moon’, Krityans, and monsters. These are all races that were mutated and born from aer. Will a new one born of these species never appear again? Or if they do, will their existence be even rarer than before? 

As for me, I want to believe that this will not be the case until every last one of the aer krenes have disappeared. Because this possibility exists for all living things in this world. 

The Entelexeia is a gathering of beings that originated from all kinds of species. In other words, this door is equally open to all species. As long as the aer krenes exist, this door should still remain open. 

It is said that there has not yet been an Entelexeia that was born from a human. But at the very least, the ‘Children of the Full Moon’ and the Krityans have passed through this door. Though they may have chosen a different path along the way, who’s to say there will never be someone who will appear one day, that will follow that path to the end? 

Surely it will take more time than anyone ever has, and the road will be even steeper than anything anyone has ever walked. But even so, I want to hold on to hope. I believe that it is only when the first Entelexeia is born from humans, that we will finally be able to understand the world in the right way. And to go even further than that, once we reach the stage of the spirit, surely the things that we do not know now will become as clear as day.

Even if I will never be able to partake in that knowledge, I sincerely hope that day will come one day. That day can truly be called a victory for humanity. 

****

Most of what I wrote here, I learned from the spirits themselves, rather than from any written documents passed down.  

I listened to the spirits speak and wrote down what they said. This was all made possible through the help of a certain noble, who was accompanying the spirits. With them acting as the spirits’ interpreter, I was blessed with the honour of being able to speak directly with the spirits. 

Unwilling to let this hidden story remain hidden, with the permission of the spirits, I have written everything down in this record. So that these great beings and their deeds will not be forgotten. So that humans will not view themselves as the greatest and most powerful existence in the world. For there will always be someone greater than us. 

I pray that when the day comes when we are allowed to surpass these beings, it will not be through power, but through wisdom. 

It is here that I set down my pen. I hope that this record has been of some help to you. 

May there be peace for all those above, and for all those that possess a heart.

(Addendum: A Memorandum on the Ancient Dragons) End

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[xoxoemynn]

I'm glad you feel at least a teensy bit better after sleeping. I feel pretty out of it. I've had a few weeks of ups and downs that have left me pretty exhausted before this news.

I hope you don't mind me leaving a message here. I've never been part of the fandom community, just outside of it, so I'm not even really feeling the 'at least we still have each other' sentiment. Ofmd helped me revive my creativity after years of not creating anything when I used to do so much. I'm still slower at it than I used to be, but it's a start. It's something.

Ofmd gave me the strength to come out at work, to be myself in most parts of my life rather than just carefully cultivated moments. I've found strength I never knew I had. Ffs I'm doing diversity training information stuff now??

I feels good. Feels great. And I really don't think it was a long shot to think that a successful, critically acclaimed show would get rescued. (I did wonder if making it very clear how valuable it was made HBO have an insane asking price but I hope not)

And I know s2 ended neatly (thank god) but I was so on board with Jenkins' view of "the will-they-won't-they is the least interesting part of a romance". Because you never see the payoff! It's just oh they're together now, the end, and you don't get to experience the characters as a couple. The story was the development of Ed and Stede's relationship, and a 3rd part would have given us the full scope of that.. *sigh

Idk I guess I'm just at a bit of a loss. Feeling empty. I was already struggling posting my work, or thinking how to adjust how I do it, because I don't feel its good enough for this fandom (which in my very limited experience feels very clique-y? If you're not in with the cool kids then no one cares and I'm too old for this!) It's all a bit "what's the point" I guess. I expect it'll pass but aaa, man. Y’know. Rant over, thanks for reading ^^'

The deepest of sighs, the tightest of hugs.

I feel you. Starting work today with swollen eyes and a tired heart. It sucks. This all just really sucks. And yes, I'm so grateful we got the show at all, I'm so grateful for the cast/crew, I'm so grateful for this fandom and the friends I made along the way. But this show, that did EVERYTHING RIGHT, ended before its time. And there's no getting around that just really, really sucks.

You're right, I don't think it was ridiculous to believe our renewal efforts might be successful. Because it SHOULD have been! It was a beautiful show with a passionate fan base that was also viewed very favorably by critics. In any sane world, OFMD's renewal would have been a given. And it's not silly or stupid to hope for good things to happen in a world where so often good things don't. The solution to the world being a shit show isn't to just bow our heads and accept it. It's to keep hope alive because yes, it might turn out different this time! Beautiful things deserve to be cherished, and that's what we did and will continue to do with OFMD. OFMD wasn't canceled due to a lack of love. It was corporate greed, pure and simple, and unfortunately that's a really difficult evil to fight against. But we still gave it our all, and people and the industry took note. That's no small feat.

And the show did so much for all of us! I'm so happy it gave you the strength to come out at work and live more in your authentic self. That's huge! That's the power of good art. And that's something studio heads can never take into account while they plug figures into their calculators and huff and puff about the numbers not being there.

I do hope you'll post your work, and share whatever you feel comfortable sharing. We really are of all skill levels here, and I've found genuine love of the show/its characters > the most technically well-written fic on the planet. I do hear what you say about it feeling cliquey, but for what it's worth, I also think it's very welcoming to newcomers? I realize that sounds like a contradiction. But I do think people have just kind of naturally formed little social circles of their friends and it can feel hard to break into, especially if you're an introvert like me. But I think if you start just getting in people's inboxes or reblogging with tags that show your personality/opinions/whatever, you'll start naturally forming those groups on your own. I'd also really recommend the OFMD Fic Club server if you're trying to get the courage to start posting your own work. It's a really supportive community there of people who've been posting for decades, as well as those who are just beginning to plan their very first fic.

Anyway, this is getting long and rambling so I'll end it here, but please know I'm sending you SO much love. It sucks right now but we'll get through it. And my DMs are open if you ever just want to chat. 💕

[miss-k-lovenikki]

I'm like ten years late for this but i've only been playing the new style boutique (1) for a week (I guess that counts as retro gaming ? Dear god i'm old) so here's my honest opinion :

The good points :

- Absolutely love that the daily cycle isn't linked to irl day cycle but to how many activities you've been doing. Lacking a certain thing but you already own every item in the showroom ? You can just go to sleep in game and the showroom stock will have changed !

- That also means it's much faster to grow your stock and personal wardrobe

- Clients will tell you if your stock is missing a certain item or style

- Speaking of, i love that clients no longer look for a specific brand but for a certain style ! It feels more realistic.

- Male brands ! (more brands in general) Male clients ! Also male and female stocks are separate so you don't have to give up on one to please the other. Nice !

- Bigger stock from the get go which makes it so much easier to have a little bit of everything (considering your clients are a lot more diverse, this is good)

- You can choose in what order brands unlock so you can get your favortie style(s) first

- because of a mix of the previous points, i actually get the feeling that i can properly style outfits for my clients

- More personalisation ! You get to choose quite a few details about the outside of your shop and apparently you can decorate your own apartement too (i have not however unlocked that yet)

The bad points :

- The justification for you getting your own shop is even more ridiculous than in the first game

- None of the previous characters are here. I miss them. (Rococco has a very small cameo but that's it so far).

- Mannequin when trying on clothes at the showroom and your shop are white which makes it impossible to distinguish white clothes

- Okay that one is stupid but they changed around where my shop and my appartement are so i keep on going to the wrong one. Damn you muscle memory !

- Hate the horizontal mode. Vertical made so much more sense so i could see the entirety of my outfits

- Events can require you to wear a certain style. If you just wear one item that isn't the right style even though it looked really cute with the rest (the basic jeans apparently make me less feminine, the more you know), you will fail it.

- Subjective, but i don't like how lipsticks look

- Male clothes are very basic and boring

- Money NEVER feelt like an issue. I just have so much of it.

- I get a lot of loading screens in my wardrobe... not good

- Fashion is almost the same as in the original style savvy (so clothes themselves don't make the game upgrade really worth it)

[centrally-unplanned]

Oh speaking of manga I have been casually rereading the FLCL manga while doing the translation work, and finished it over dinner today - god I love the ending. This manga is a hot mess btw, there are moments where the conveyance completely falls apart, but Hajime Ueda is just not the kind of guy to care about shit like that. It carries itself on its visuals and character dynamics, which is fine - it just means it isn't going to have 'plot' payoffs per se.

But the ending man, for its all Ueda-core irreverent violence and FLCL's commitment to toxic relationships, when Haruko has burned everything down and Naota has rejected both Mamimi and Ninamori as crutches for his own lack of self-awareness... then Haruko just pops up out of his forehead wielding a shotgun and wearing a bunny suit one last time, and Naota's response is "wanna make out?" which, obviously she does, and they even have a bondage joke thrown in on top:

Its A: very hot, but more importantly B: the kind of tonal irreverence that only 'anime' can pull off. The semiotics of the medium is just full of events close enough to this kind of stuff that what would be whiplash in any other medium is punchline or even organic here. And Naota deserves to get some after all the shit he has been through, good for him!

Idk I think as I have been deep diving into the FLCL interview database how the manga works has crystalized for me. Saying the FLCL manga is controversial is a bit of a stretch, but its not very popular as it is extremely different from the show - way more surreal, way more slapstick, and of course a full blast of Hajime Ueda's edgy goth-punk stylings. For a lot of fans these changes are a bridge too far, its "Not FLCL".

As you start to understand Tsurumaki's 'intent' though, it comes together - this is a work devoted to the goal of trying to open 'anime' up to new directions its not going in. He goes on about how the anime industry is overly obsessed with realism; uncomfortable with throwing the silly and serious into the same scenes when it shouldn't be; and neglectful of the diversity of themes present in manga such as the emo-seinen works (and the troubled girls who populate them) Tsurumaki is so fond of. FLCL is self-indulgent but also intentional in its industry 'critique'.

To adapt that to a manga, the critique has to fit the industry; it wouldn't make sense to adapt 'manga themes' into, well, a manga, that wouldn't send a message! Hajime Ueda is actually perfect for this role, taking an artistic style that is completely different from anything out there, seemingly incompatible with the story being told, and stretching that story the bounds of its tonal diversity to make the fit work. You can't 1-to-1 the intent ofc, but if you are going to try this is how you do it. From that lens the story works, and the ending is great; from full-on ruin apocalypse to makeout fanservice to entirely silent metaphorical ending in maybe 15 pages. The semiotics of 'anime' were built for this, you just have to not be afraid to try.

[freeuselandonorris]

F1 Ask Game

thank you @bright-and-burning and @goingxmissing for the tags!!

Who is your favorite driver?: i go back and forth between lando and oscar! i think lando has my heart the most though, honestly, goblin child that he is.

Do you have other favorite drivers?: i love lewis, i love charles, i still have a soft spot for max and daniel although definitely not to the extent i used to... but honestly i'm kind of fond of most of the grid and its peripheral characters (including the previous generation of ex-drivers like nico (i used to be OBSESSED with nico when he was driving for merc!), jenson et al) and the up-and-comers like liam, ollie, kimi. i just like drivers!

Who is your least favorite driver?: there's nobody i really hate, but i'm less keen on perez and hulkenberg. fernando annoyed me for a while when he was just waltzing into random other series, nabbing the best car and winning everything and then fucking off again when he was trying to catch the triple crown, but i find him pretty funny these days.

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?: i think @goingxmissing made a very good point that liking a driver generally means you end up liking the people around them too, but i'm generally a driver not a team person. i'm papayapilled currently because my two favourite drivers are with them, but i wouldn't particularly follow mclaren regardless of who drives for them (i'm also less than impresed with some of the choices they've made recently, but let's not get into that.)

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?: mclaren obviously, and i am very fond of mercedes although that's a deeply frustrating endeavour at the moment. but yeah, none of the teams are particularly meaningful to me.

How long have you been into F1?: well, i guess technically we're talking about 25 years lmao. i started watching when i was a kid because my mum loved mika hakkinen, so i have fond childhood memories of watching the hakkinen v schumacher years and being fascinated by it. but in terms of watching it by my own volition, this is the 11th straight year i've been watching. mental.

What got you into F1?: see above for the original inspiration! but i came back to it in 2013 because i started working as a subtitler for live tv and one of the channels we covered happened to be sky F1 (so yeah i basically got paid to watch F1. it was great.) a few months of covering the 2013 season - the fabled "multi-21" season of seb and mark nearly killing each other - and i was hooked.

Do you enjoy Fanfic/RPF?: oh yes lmao.

How do you view new fans?: having survived the wilderness years where nobody gave a fuck about F1 and many of the fans were middle aged "well actually..." men, it fills me with joy to see so many younger and more diverse fans coming to the sport. sometimes i see takes that make it pretty clear there's a lack of understanding of the history or previous context of the sport, but so what? we all started somewhere.

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?: oh my god, i don't think i'd want to, it looks stressful as fuck lmao. i'd quite like to be a strategist though, if only i had any capacity for it. maybe for merc. i'd like to work under toto (ahem).

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?: yes! my mum, obviously. a lot of my non-F1 friends (i.e. friends i didn't meet through motorsports fandom) are also into it to varying degrees, and i'm lucky enough to have forced quite a big group of people on here into being my actual real life friends now too. i'm very lucky.

Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?: yes!! i am not always brilliant at responding to DMs in a timely fashion (i get very easily overwhelmed when i have lots of unread messages lmao) but i love the anons in my inbox and it still makes me so happy when people send me messages saying something (...usually piss related lmao) reminded them of me 🥹

i feel like everyone has maybe been tagged already...? if not comment and i will tag u!

[evita-shelby]

National Anthem

Chapter 7

Cw: postpartum, mentions of breastfeeding, postpartum depression and rage, attempted murder, period typical attitudes , alcohol

Taglist: @thegreatdragonfruta @zablife @cljordan-imperium @call-sign-shark

Rosie’s birth wasn’t the end to Eva’s shitty moods.

Jack’s gone to New York with his business at the investment firm he’s bought and knows there’s gonna be another row when he gets back.

Eva was afflicted by the baby blues and some remains of her shell shock. Didn’t help that Rosie had trouble latching onto her tits to the point the doctor had to recommend powdered baby formula a week ago.

His witch had taken it as having failed at being a mother even if Rosie was barely fifteen days old. From then on everything had just become worse, in his expert opinion.

The lack of sex made her irritable, a strict regime to regain her figure ruined meals more often than not and having her remaining family far from her had her at the brink of tears.

She had wanted to come to New York, stay with her family in 5th Avenue while he worked, but he had refused her suggestion because she was still recuperating from Rosie’s fucking awful birth.

Did it stop her from barging into his office today as if she weren’t still bleeding from the birth?

No, because here she was looking as stunning as always and angry at him for some fucking reason he cannot even begin to guess.

“What the fuck did I do this time, Evie?” he sits back and asks the woman who looks very close to committing violence.

“The Italians, did you have to fucking provoke them, Jack?” she answers throwing the black hand addressed to him.

His latest taunt was supposed to put the fear of God in them, let them fucking know Jack meant business.

Changretta had wrapped a garrote around his balls when he learned Laurie had gone off to die in France, said he’d make sure the Nelson name would die with him in that alley.

Now that the Spiniettas tried their hand at bootlegging, Jack had come to make Luca shit his tailor-made suit. The Irish gangster then told him all about the witch who not only gave him the boats the Italians were trying to use to smuggle booze from Europe but also had given Jack the three brats back-to-back.

And when you’re having Riccardo Spinietta ask where the shipment went, I’ll be fucking a fourth one into her, Jack had taunted as they left Luca barely alive at the docks.

“Congratulations on your daughter.” The threat was clear, and Jack supposed his wife had a reason to chew him out about it.

“If anything happened to you and the kids, I’ll fucking kill them.” He stayed seated already plotting how he’d wipe the wops off the face of the fucking earth for daring to come after his woman and children.

“Your police chief has been notified and until this is resolved, we are staying with my uncle. You are welcome to join us there, or not, I don’t give a shit.” Even despite the danger they are in, she’s still mad at him.

The witch straightened herself out as she made to leave his office, Jack took the chance to walk her out, to have an excuse to touch her even if its just a hand at the small of her back and a lukewarm kiss goodbye.

“Put a place for me at dinner then, Evie. We will talk about this later” He’ll deal with this later, when he can get her to talk freely and then remind her he loves her better than anyone else ever can.

For now, he settles by opening the door for her.

Instead of leaving Eva pulled him onto the threshold with trembling hands and forcefully shoved him against the doorframe seconds before a bomb went off in the street below.

He covered her as best he could as they braced for impact. The office is sturdy enough to withstand the damage and yet the screams he hears in the lobby below tell him that this bomb was meant for them.

The Black Hand had retaliated, the hand in their mail was a diversion. A way to get him to leave his office and be on the street when it happened.

They knew she’d confront him about it and would’ve taken both out had they been in the street.

It would be blamed on the Italian anarchists who sent their letters this morning while he was hiding in England after his failure.

Luca will be dead when he sets foot in American soil.

Eva’s given a sedative for her nerves and Jack a prescription for whiskey after being cleared of injuries.

“We’ll be fine, baby, we’ll take a trip somewhere until it passes. Just us and the babies.” He promised cradling her face and kissing her forehead as she sat there numbly on the hospital bed.

It wasn’t the first nor last attempt on her life, but this was the first time she didn’t want to die.

Knowing she had so much to live for had shaken her, knowing she had children who needed her, a family who would miss her had made her realize just how valuable her life was.

“How about Florida, we could rent the bungalow like we did on our honeymoon and just stay there where nothing can touch us.” Jack promised her the world and every problem had been forgotten.

But they still exist. Even if they are forgotten in the background.

“Yeah, let’s do that. Stay there for a while. I miss the sand and the sun so much.” She gave a small smile. “But tonight, we celebrate, we celebrate they didn’t kill us.”

A shame she still has some twenty days before she could fuck, nothing made her feel alive like having him between her legs in every position they could think of.

Instead, she settles for drinking enough to forget that morning even happened. Not that she can, motherhood and sobriety made her a lightweight and it’s not long before she’s being taken upstairs before she truly falls off the wagon.

Doesn’t work, never fucking works, or so she tells Jack who is still sober enough to throw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Have you forgotten what made you so mad at me?” he tossed her on the bed and spread her legs wide for him forgetting they can’t fuck. Something he should remember from last year when they couldn’t fuck on the kitchen table the Father’s Day after the twins were born.

“No.” the witch answered closing her legs and using this power she has over him to talk their shit out. “You keep me out of your business, and now we’re in danger because it didn’t occur you to ask your all-knowing wife what she thought of intercepting the liquor in her ships.”

“It’s a man’s world, sweetie, would make me, us, look weak if you got involved.” He said in his defense, still undressing to join her in bed thinking she’ll forget about this tomorrow when the hangover sets in.

“So? They’d regret it when they realize we’re un- fucking- touchable. Had it not been for me today you would have been blown to smithereens, sweetie.”

Eva then moved forward until she was kneeling at the edge of the bed and running her hands up his thighs until she reached his belt. So, she wasn’t supposed to have penetrative sex, but they never said she couldn’t use her hands or her mouth to keep Jack in line.

“I could’ve survived.” Jack’s hand comes under her chin and ran his thumb over her bottom lip tempting her into sucking it, as if he weren’t already straining in his pants at the mere idea of coming on her tits and face.

Her gringo loves her mouth, thanks god all her boyfriends are dead because he can’t have any man alive know her talents.

Eva wants to bite his finger off for dismissing her words and he knows it. She might even leave him like this for saying it, she’s done it before.

“Fine, we’ll give it a try, but I make all the final decisions and you won’t be on the payroll. If people catch wind of it, our enemies will too.” The thumb on her lower lip goes back to cradle her chin and forcefully tugged her face upwards to make him look in the eye as he gives his one-time offer. “Do you understand, doll, you play by my rules, or you don’t play at all.”

Well at least one good thing came out of today.

A/N: on September 16, 1920 (presumably) Italian Anarchists put a bomb in a cart at Wall Street, New York. There are conspiracies as to who did it because even now they can't actually confirm it was the Anarchists who did it.

Joe Kennedy happened to be in his office that day and was apparently blown back from the impact even it was across the street from the bomb, Jack here survived because Luca miscalculated how long they'd take in his office.

The idea for Luca and Jack’s rivalry is actually @thegreatdragonfruta idea.

[sukimas]

🔥pokemon?

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

Alola sucks as a region. This is mostly unrelated to the quality of the games themselves (except for me; I really, really care about exploration). But Hawai'i is incredibly rich and diverse with all kinds of wonderful environments to explore, such that every new route could be completely unique. They did that with Kalos, and that's France! But instead, it feels like practically everything is just walking along a dirt path with some grass on the side. I feel like I'm in Kanto again; why, exactly, do I have the impression that I'm in the suburbs of Tokyo rather than in the tropics? Hoenn provides a much better island-type experience than Alola does, and it had the restrictions of the GBA to deal with; the only reason I can think of for Alola being, physically, so boring is simple development time restrictions.

There's also basically no exploration- a much steeper dropoff than the dropoff between BW2 and XY, actually, where XY has plenty of exploration but mostly you have to seek it out, but BW2 has a good deal of mandated exploration. The complete lack of a Victory Road is so obviously not a plot thing, it's a poor game design thing. And in general, there are no "places to go". Surf is useful in like 1 or 2 places, and there's nothing interesting to find there; there's 1 or 2 caves with mid items in them; the Vast Poni Canyon is what would be an earlygame cave in any earlier Pokemon game. Every time I went to a new island I was always hoping that I'd get to see some awesome new environments, but it was always fucking grass and dirt paths again. Barely even in a different color sometimes.

There are a couple interesting set pieces, especially on Ula'ula; Po Town and Ula'ula Meadow are pretty. However, there's still not a lot to do in either of those places, despite their better aesthetic appeal than the rest of the game, and compared to Akala or Melemele, you really don't spend a lot of time on Ula'ula at all.

This isn't even getting into the towns and cities; there's absolutely nothing to do in them. After Lumiose in XY and the faithfully recreated (and somewhat added to) cities in ORAS, you really feel the absence of anything interesting to explore. The shops, of course, sell generally kind of awful clothing; I promise there is tropical stuff you can sell that does not look ungodly, and I should know- one of my colleagues wears intentionally loud Hawaiian shirts every day from April to October, and has a tie-dyed lab coat. But let's get back to the cities. They generally don't have anything differentiating them from each other besides the aesthetic! There's not anything notable that you can do in Heahea that you can't do in Konikoni, and nothing notable that you can do in Konikoni that you can't do in Heahea. This started to be a problem in XY to an extent; there are places like Anistar, for example, that kind of just exist to be set pieces. But there also aren't really any interesting people to interact with in the cities, either. You don't have to have a bunch of sidequests- god knows I certainly don't give much of a damn about sidequests- but let me get an item or two, have interestingly decorated houses, have a place I can go with a nice view, have someone tell me a legend. That's really all I ask for.

Sun and Moon have a lot to like outside of the region- the Pokemon are really cute, and the characters are, well, they're OK for Pokemon I guess. The island trials are also a fun spin on the gym challenges. But overall, when I play Pokemon to be immersed in a world, Alola is really the place where the idea of that world began to fall apart for me. I thought for a while that it was just me getting older and jaded, but I played Legends Arceus, and while I have a lot of gripes with that game's gameplay, I can safely say Nope! The world there immersed me. Different areas had plenty of different things to do, and the one town was excellently developed. Alola and its successors just aren't very immersive regions.

[gothicdicordia]

The New DnD - 3.5 vs Now.5

It's been hard for me as a long time builder of Faerun (complete worlds/modules via Electron) and a live PW DM to negotiate some of the more subtle changes a new player would never get. I started with 3.5 and being really well-versed in those rules/physics and the new stuff is so simplified.

Then in game - certain things were generic-fied - like using domains instead of Gods/Goddesses instead of both.

And of course - the general use of Drow, Tieflings, and Elemental/Aasimar as discriminated against, but not integrating that more fully into the plot for player characters origin characters. No one likes racism - but it's been a part of Faerun culture forever (Dwarves hate Elves and vice versa, everyone hates Mindflayers and Thayans (except Mindflayers and Thayans.) And to choose that race was to accept - possible racism/culturism and physical/character stat weaknesses.

(It is also important - overall - the thing that DEFINES adventuring parties is the ability to see past racism either with benevolence or seeing each diverse member as an a means to an end or asset toward their goal even if it pushes them to give up racist views of their past.)

So seeing a massive bloom of Tiefling/Drow/Aasimar ocs/tavs kinda put me off at my core. Yes, horns are cool, but wtf you are going to have the plot/culture/shift pivot around that choice. (At least you would if I wrote the game.)

Also I felt Evil Playthroughs lack a bit of bite and don't sandbox the evil character stringently enough in the environment. I mean if you are going to pick evil - let's get some evil Gods in there vs Domains. If you play a Thayan Red Wizard, you get treated like one or a Priest of Lovitar or Druid of Talona/Malar. You should walk into Rivington and people cringe in fear when they see the robes/tattoos or the religious symbols.

Same thing for neutral/good - you walk into town, people see a Chauntea Druid and know they could get healing (for free) or maybe help with sickly plants or fields. Or a Knight of Lathander or Tyr walks into town and they know they could get both help and healing. They are HAPPY to see you.

Honestly though - I don't care in the end. The popularity of the game is forcing literacy on people who usually play mindless console games. It is basically forcing non-readers and delayed readers to read to enjoy the game. It might not be the DnD I learned or am most fluid with, but it is an evolution on the Toolset I know so well and the physics I learned to develop in its baby-stages in NWN1/2.

And as long as a game is forcing/motivating young people to READ and learn, plus teaching them tabletop unwittingly, fueling fan art and writing, and even moreso fueling new modders to learn to code/program to make the game do what they like - I am VERY happy with the creative zeitgeist it is.

Nuala: "Grandpa Tam? *rolls eyes* "Now I have to argue with a mirror about who's the boss in Thay."

[hyperlexichypatia]

Are disability rights a “Christian issue” or “religious issue” that non-Christians or non-religious people shouldn’t support? Where would that idea even come from? 

Before we get started – 

Disclaimer 1: Ableism permeates all of human society, including people of every religion and no religion. Resistance to ableism also permeates all of human society, including people of every religion and no religion. No religious, cultural, or philosophical demographic has a monopoly on ableism, or on anti-ableism. Nothing I am saying can or should be construed as “This religious group is more ableist than that one.” 

Disclaimer 2: In this post, I am mostly going to be talking about atheists and Christians, in an anglophone and specifically U.S. context, because that is the context in which I most often see this argument framed. I am very well aware that there is infinite religious diversity in the world, and disability and ableism issues in every religion, but I do not commonly see religions other than Christianity (and a loose, not-especially-accurate perception of Christianity, at that) being invoked, by professed atheists, as a reason to oppose disability rights. 

Disclaimer 3: My own standpoint is that I grew up Catholic and now identify as broadly a Deist. I live in a heavily Evangelical Christian culture. 

Now that we’ve got that out of the way… Every time I see any reference to disability rights, in the news, in social media, in fandom, in any context at all, I see objections from professed atheists who insist that the very concept of disability rights is an inherently Christian concept that should be rejected by non-Christians and non-religious people. Anyone who advocates for disability rights, regardless of xyr own religious beliefs, is accused of being a fundamentalist Christian in disguise (or occasionally a Scientologist), because this is the only possible worldview that could possibly lead to a conclusion that disabled people deserve equal rights. Obviously, I have a lot of objections to this argument. As a disability rights advocate, I believe that everyone should support disability rights, regardless of their religious beliefs or lack thereof. If some people come to a pro-disability-rights conclusion as a result of their religious beliefs, I think that’s great, but the important part is the conclusion. Furthermore, if some Christians support an issue for religious reasons, it does not logically follow that non-Christians have to come to the opposite conclusion. If, for religious reasons, some Christians believe it is wrong to stab people in the subway, it does not then follow that non-Christians should believe it is right to stab people in the subway. That’s not how anything works. But in addition to the bad logic of “Christians support disability rights, therefore non-Christians should oppose them”, what darkly amuses me about this claim is that, at least in the U.S., “Christians support disability rights” isn’t even true. Sure, some do. But they’re very much in the minority. Most American Christians either have no particular support for, or actively oppose, disability rights (just like most Americans in general). So the disability rights movement in the U.S. gets stigma from atheists for being “supported by Christians” without actually getting any of the benefits of being supported by Christians. And what’s especially frustrating is that this attitude is based on fundamental misunderstandings of disability rights concepts and conflating them with tangentially-related-but-fundamentally-different Christian theological concepts. A major example of this is the concept of “acceptance.” Many Christians believe that people should accept whatever happens to them, good or bad, because whatever happens to them is a manifestation of God’s will. Under this view, if someone becomes disabled, or has a disabled child, or has another disabled family member, they should accept this as part of God’s plan, no matter how undesirable it may be. By contrast, many people – specifically we’re talking about atheists who’ve specifically rejected Christianity – believe the opposite, that if something undesirable happens to you, you should take any means available to you in order to change it.

A disability liberation perspective doesn’t actually fit into this dichotomy. Regardless of whether you feel that people should accept or try to change undesirable things that happen to them, a disability liberation perspective questions whether disability is an “undesirable thing” in the first place. More fundamentally, it questions whether having a disabled child or family member is “happening to” someone else. When a discussion is framed around an abled family member of a disabled person and how they should deal with their problem, the entire premise is ableist. The point is that it shouldn’t have to be a problem, and more importantly, even if it is a problem, it isn’t your problem. This is so antithetical to mainstream thought that when we express it, people assume that we must really mean something else. When we say “Disability shouldn’t have to necessarily mean suffering” or “Someone else’s disability definitely doesn’t mean your suffering, because disabled people are their own people,” listeners think we’re trying to trick them into suffering for some kind of religious agenda. Nowhere is this more evident than in discussions about killing disabled people allegedly in order to “end their suffering.” The assumptions are clear: Living as a disabled person intrinsically means suffering. Death ends that suffering. Killing a disabled person is the correct way to alleviate their suffering. Therefore, to oppose killing a disabled person is to be pro-suffering. The only reason someone would be pro-suffering is for religious reasons. Therefore, anyone opposed to the killing of disabled people must be a religious extremist out to force their pro-suffering agenda on everyone. Arguing against killing of disabled people has gotten me accused of lying about my religion more times than I can count. 

A similar misunderstanding happens with the disability liberationist principle of rejecting eugenics. Many Christians believe, for religious reasons, that any interference in the natural reproductive process is wrong. This also leads them to reject forms of eugenics that involve interference in reproduction (such as selective abortion or forced sterilization). This is fine, although it’s worth noting that many such people are fine with preventing reproduction by preventing people from having sex (still the most common method of preventing disabled people from reproducing), so it’s not truly anti-eugenics. But for disability liberationists, the problem with eugenics isn’t interference in natural reproduction – i.e., the problem with forced sterilization isn’t that it’s sterilization; the problem with disability-selective abortion isn’t that it’s abortion – it’s the value judgment that being disabled, having disabled children, or being a disabled parent are undesirable. (See my well-written – if I do say so myself – “How to Be Pro-Choice Without Being Pro-Eugenics” series for more elaboration.)

Finally, there’s a certain culture of a certain strain of atheism (or “skepticism”) in the U.S. which defines itself around ideas like “objective reality,” “intelligence,” and “rationality,” in explicit contrast to religious and spiritual ideas (especially within mainstream American Christianity) of subjective knowledge, faith, and intuition.  But disabled, specifically neurodivergent, people’s perceptions and cognition fall outside both mainstream religious doctrine and mainstream conceptions of objectivity, intelligence, and rationality. Because neurodivergent people’s perceptions and cognition aren’t mainstream. Mad/neurodivergent liberation requires dismantling the idea, whether religious or secular, that one type of perceptive/cognitive process is “more intelligent” or “more rational” than another. People who hear or see or experience things that other people don’t, people who make connections that other people can’t, people whose ways of problem-solving fall outside the norms of what our society labels “intelligence.” Neurodivergent cognitive processes may not fit into the binary of “religious” or “secular.” But in a systemically neurobigoted society, the worst way to discredit someone is to call them some variation of “irrational” or “unintelligent.” Most people, regardless of their religion, do not support liberation of Mad/neurodivergent people, because most people, regardless of their religion or lack thereof, are neurobigoted.

So. To sum up.

Most people, regardless of their religion or lack thereof, are ableist. We live in an ableist world. Ableism is normal. If it were at all true that “religious people” (however one defines that) supported disability rights, the disability rights movement would have gained a lot more ground by now. We haven’t, because most religious and non-religious people alike oppose disability rights. In the spirit of my friend who says “Disability rights is a bipartisan issue because both parties hate us,” I would say “Disability rights is a nonsectarian issue because people of all religions and no religions hate us.”