#although its not just tony stans who are saying this

[ifandomus]

Some people: “Do you ever think about how sad it is that Bucky can't make amends to Tony? So there is one name on his amends list that he can't ever cross off. But maybe he can try to make amends to Tony’s family?”

Me:

[space-mermaid-writing]

The black cat with blue eyes [Part 1]

Summary: One day Peter drags a cat into the tower he found in the dumpsters and Tony finds himself adopting it, because – honestly – he can not say no to Peter. It turns out the cat has really strange opinions on food, belly scratches and movies. What else? Oh yes, Doctor Strange is missing. But those two events are clearly not related. Clearly…

Relationship: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange

Tags: Temporary Cat!Stephen, Hurt/Comfort, life is trauma, friendship is healing, supreme family (kind of), it starts with angst and ends in fluff, a lot of fun in between, I swear this is fun

Ko-fi | Read it on AO3 | Masterlist | Word count: 7k | Part 2

Author’s note: This started - as so often - as a small idea and then it became something else. Black cats hold a special place in my heart.

This cat is strange...

The streets of New York were busy as usual. People were walking purposefully, caught up in their normal everyday lives. As far as one could speak of a normal everyday life, after half the population had been bliped and then had reappeared just as surprisingly five years later. It had been a shock for everyone.

Those who had gone missing, were now trying to fit back in. While the ones that had survived the blip in the first place were still trying to keep society going.

It wasn’t easy for anyone. People just tried to concentrate on the day at hand. One step at a time.

It was a cloudy day in spray. The sun had made itself scarce the last few days and that put a damper on everyone's mood. Especially the food vendors noticed that, when trying to attract customers around Central Park.

Like Stan, who owned a hot dog stand in the north end of the park. His numbers weren't great today either. There were only persistent joggers or dog owners in the park, none of them falling into the category of his main target customers. Hardly any teenagers after school or tourists who wanted to make their New York trip even more authentic with a hot dog (so they could brag about it back home).

To stave off boredom from the quiet day, Stan stepped up to his booth neighbor, a newspaper vendor. Both men knew each other well, having shared the space for years.

All the while, Stan didn't notice those watchful blue eyes that were observing him from the shadows, just waiting for him to leave his meat on the grill unattended for a moment.

The hunt had begun.

It was pure instinct and hunger that made the cat move. Stalking quietly, eyes locked on its target. One jump and it had a hot dog in its mouth – which should be way too hot, but miraculously it didn't bother the feline - and then fled with its prey.

But not fast enough.

"Hey!" Stan spotted the black cat and ran after it, even though the sausage was long lost. "Darn beast!"

The man stumbled (there was nothing in his way he should trip over, it was as if he had received a push from an invisible force) and the cat disappeared among the bushes.

The animal stopped only when it knew it was safe. Then it hungrily ate its meal.

It was an all black cat, once for sure sleek with beautiful long hair, now scrubby and broken-down. It picked its food out of the garbage or stole it when the opportunity was good. Like it had been now.

Life on the street was tough. There was no dignity left for those who wandered them long enough.

It was just a regular stray. There were hundreds of them in the city. Although, this one might have had an ace up its sleeve – as good magicians always did.

But that was about it.

It wasn't an easy life but a chosen one. The simple mind of an animal helped to forget. And the cat had every reason to want to forget. More than a single mind should ever endure.

The cat finished its meal.

Sometimes it thought of a stray dog it had met on the other side of the world. In another life. It had felt a connection to the other animal back then, like the fellow stray it was. Like the cat was now again. Life had come full circle.

The cat's ears pricked up as it heard a sound, a rustling in the bushes.

It was just a bird, but the cat was leaving anyway. It didn't feel safe staying at one place for too long.

_____________________________________

Peter and his friends were sitting on a bench in the park. It was the weekend and Ned's parents had sent the trio outside so the teens would get some fresh air and sunshine.

It was a crisp day and they wore their jackets as they talked about their upcoming school projects and spring break plans. And, of course, about Star Wars.

They ate the sandwiches Ned's grandmother had packed them. She always made too much, but they were so good the kids ate them all anyway. They were, after all, growing teenagers – at least that was their excuse. (And at least with Peter and his enhanced metabolism, it wasn't wrong).

Peter noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye and picked the ham off his sandwich, which he rolled up. With that, he lured the shy animal out.

"What are you doing?" MJ asked, her eyebrows raised in question as she watched him hold the ham toward the bushes and click his tongue.

"Just wait. I've seen them a couple of times. They look like they could use the food."

Ned was joining in immediately. He had never been allowed a pet, so he was over the moon when the cat eventually approached and ate the meat they threw at it.

MJ was naturally more suspicious. "I thought only baby cats had blue eyes. Most change color after the first three months.

"Maybe a gene abnormality," Ned guessed and that made the girl re-think, because it would actually be cool. Still, she kept an eye on the cat.

The feline remained cautious and while it was offered food, it evaded any attempt at petting. The message was clear: no touching.

It sat under the bench, peering out from between the teenagers' legs and politely lifting its paw to ask for more food. It devoured up every treat as if it was afraid they would be taken away from it.

Finally, the teens stood up and shouldered their backpacks. "Bye, kitty. We gotta go." They waved at him.

"Don't tell my Nana we fed her sandwiches to a cat," Ned told his friends.

MJ took one last look back. The cat was still sitting under the bench, staring after them, tail twitching. She swore those blue eyes were not normal.

_____________________________________

It was raining cats and dogs when Peter ran through the streets of Manhattan. He was late (it was his own fault, because he had dawdled to leave after school). His sneakers were not waterproof and soon even his socks were wet.

Maybe he should have texted Mister Stark and asked him if he could send a car. But Peter still had a hard time asking for anything of the man, even everything they had been through.

It was Peter’s senior year. He was about to graduate from high school and his college application was already out (He had only sent one).

He had pulled the hood over his head and was dodging passersby with umbrellas. As he did so, he was careful not to get too close to the road, because cars weren't paying attention to whether they were splashing pedestrians. Like now, when a car that passed by way too fast. Thanks to his Peter Tingle, the boy had stopped just in time and prevented the worst.

But not everyone was so lucky.

First he thought he was just imagining it, but then he heard it again: a small meowing sound. And when he turned his head to the side, he saw a drenched black cat among the garbage bags that had been placed along the road for collection day.

Peter realized that Central Park across the street and the feline had probably come here in search of food. How it had managed to cross the street alive with all the traffic was a mystery.

The cat – Peter recognized the blue eyes – looked worse than ever. The rain of the last few days had not done the stray any good. It’s fur stuck in weird ways and it looked even thinner than the last time Peter had seen it.

Peter bit his lower lip. His heart ached, but he was still late and it wasn't like he could just take a random animal home.

The passers-by started complaining to the teenager that had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. So Peter stepped to the side, towards the cat. It shook its fur and a few drops flew off it. It did little to help with the soaking wetness. The boy crouched down, put his hand out and went for a classic 'pspsps'. It got him the animal's attention and the blue eyes locked on the boy.

Whatever Peter had expected to see, it was not the resignation he saw. The feline looked so very tired, as if it had already seen far too much in its short feline life.

And didn't Peter know that look, because it sometimes stared back at him from his own reflection.

How many of its nine lives had this cat been through?

The animal approached slowly, bare paws on the asphalt, sniffing Peter's fingers in hopes of food. Unfortunately, the boy had already eaten the lunch he packed this morning.

"Mrrew." It sounded like a soft sigh when the cat realized Peter was empty handed. It was about to turn away when Peter all of a sudden swooped it up in his arms. The cat wiggled and made an alarmed cry of protest, which did not faze Peter.

He opened the zipper of his jacket and took the cat inside. There he held it tightly and continued his way to the tower in fast steps.

_____________________________________

Peter carefully wrapped the cat in a towel and rubbed him dry. The animal still looked pathetic, but by now had quietly resigned himself to his fate. Perhaps he also realized that an unknown, dry place was still better than a wet pile of garbage.

Peter left him in the towel on the couch and went into the adjoining kitchen to look for something he could feed the feline. Fortunately, the refrigerator in Stark's penthouse was always well stocked.

He had just opened the door and winced when he heard a loud string of swearing. Apparently Mr. Stark had found the cat and was not happy about it. Peter rushed back.

"What is this wretched ball of fur doing on my couch?"

"IfoundhimintheraininthedumpsterhelookedsohelplessandhehasnohomesoIbroughthimhere." Peter took a deep breath. It was impressive just how much he could say in one breath.

Tony stared at him. He was a certified genius, but it took his brain a whole moment to filter out the relevant information from this far-too-fast gibberish.

His answer turned out to be a lot shorter. "No."

Peter blinked. "Please, Mister Stark! Just for a few days. Until it stops raining," he pleaded. His lower lip began to quiver dangerously. He had far too soft a heart for a superhero and took everything highly personally.

"Why don't you take him to May?" Tony asked as an alternative suggestion.

"She's allergic to cats."

And, shit, Tony really couldn't refuse the kid anything when he looked at him with his big doe eyes like that. Initially, when he'd found out about the boy's abilities and showed up at his aunt's house, Tony had seen him as someone he could sponsor. Just keep an eye on him.

But then came Berlin, the arms dealers on the boat, and all the other incidents. As time went on, their professional mentor/student relationship shifted more and more to this science parent and kid thing they had going on. And then Peter had followed him onto the flying doughnut.

Tony would never be able to forgive himself for that. Nor would he ever forget the boy crumbling to dust in his arms. He still had nightmares about that.

Now, Peter was standing in front of him, a can of tuna in his hand, looking like Tony was about to throw the boy's first homemade AI robot on the scrap heap.

He recalled a discussion he had with his own father many decades ago. When young Tony wanted a dog and Howard was adamantly against it.

"Fine. It can stay – for now. And we will scan it for diseases.” He gave in. Even if it was just a fuck you, Howard. Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to think too hard about his reasons, before he turned to the cat. "And you! I warn you only once, so listen closely: if you piss on my carpet, you'll be back on the streets faster than you can say 'meow'." The cat sniffed at his index finger, which he held out to it. But when he found no food there, he turned to Peter and the can.

"He won't," Peter assured his mentor.

"He?"

"Yes. It's kinda obvious if you look at him from behind."

"Alright, that's enough information. Actually, it's more than I wanted to hear."

The results of Friday's medical scan came back clean. So the cat was allowed to stay – for now.

_____________________________________

It was the middle of the night when Tony stumbled into his kitchen. Nightmares had jolted him out of sleep, and even though he couldn't remember exactly what horror scenario it had been this time, he didn't feel like going back to sleep anytime soon.

He turned on the coffee maker and listened to its soothing sounds when the cat jumped up on the counter and stared at him in a way that only cats could. Tony was too tired to see anything else in it.

"You hungry?...yeah, me too."

Contrary to his initial fear that the feline would annoy him, he hardly noticed his presence.

Tony grabbed a bagel and got cream cheese from the fridge. The cat stretched his neck, his blue eyes now completely fixated on the delicious smelling food. Tony placed a spoonful of cream cheese in front of him, which the animal began to lick contentedly.

The inventor took his coffee and breakfast (could it be called breakfast yet? It was only 3:14am in the morning) to his personal lab and opened the file of his latest project.

He didn't realize he wasn't alone in the room until he heard DUM-E moving around in the background and then a hissing. Outraged and with flat ears and arched back, the pet jumped onto the table, but even there he was not safe from the robot's claw.

"DUM-E behave," Tony instructed his artificial son. "Fri, keep an eye on Blue Eye. I can't have him getting hurt by something sharp."

Mostly because he could not stand the resulting drama with Peter.

Sulking, DUM-E moved to another corner of the room and silence reigned again. Tony looked back at his hologram.

But he could not concentrate. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, a sure sign that he was being watched.

He turned his head and looked into the black void the black cat had become by curling up.

Blue orbs stared back from the void.

Yeah, cats were a different kind of weird.

_____________________________________

Tony quickly discovered that his small roommate refused any kind of cat food. They had even tried the expensive one, but the feline turned up his nose when he saw this weird gibberish mass in his bowl (Tony wouldn’t want to eat that either) and demonstratively turned away.

Instead, he jumped up on the dining room table – something Tony had repeatedly forbidden him to do – and demanded to have whatever food Tony or Peter were having.

Tony had never had a pet and was only now learning that cats had an amazing amount of food they were able to eat. And the one living in his penthouse rent free apparently had a particularly culinary sense of taste. Whenever they ate take-out – and, admittedly, that was most days, because Tony didn't have the time or desire to cook – the cat appeared, meowing loudly and demanding. Whether it was pizza, burgers, sandwiches, Thai, or just fries. Once he even ate the salad.

But Tony drew the line when the cat sniffed at his mug of coffee. „No,“ he said and took the mug away.

„You won‘t like that anyway,“ he explained when he pressed the button on the coffee maker in the morning and lifted the cat off the counter.

„That‘s mine!“ he stated every time he moved his cup away from the feline in the lab.

„Don‘t you dare!“ he shouted when he spotted the cat across the room right next to a whole pot of coffee. He swore there was something wrong with this animal. The way it looked at him with that cocky smirk in his eyes was not normal.

The cat pushed the pot with one of his front paws to the edge of the table board. Tony raised his finger in warning. The cat pushed a little, not breaking eye contact. The pot broke on the floor and the cat jumped down to lick the coffee off the floor.

"I hope you choke on it," Tony growled as he set a small bowl of coffee down for the cat, the next time he fixed himself a cup.

_____________________________________

Tony had never been allowed to have a pet as a kid, and he was pretty quickly convinced that Peter had brought some fucked up result of an animal experiment into his house.

The cat hadn't even put one paw in the litter box. Instead, he sometimes disappeared into one of Tony's bathrooms. Tony followed him exactly once to see what the cat was up to. But the cat had only stared at him for so long until Tony felt like a creep and backed off.

Friday had no video access to the bathrooms – because Tony was not a creep – and so it remained forever a mystery what the cat did in there.

This creature looked like a cat, sounded like a cat and behaved like a cat (debatable! But Tony checked the internet and found a lot of people sharing weird stories about their cats) but Tony was not taking chances. He had seen talking trees and raccoons, flying hammers and spontaneously combusting people.

He crouched in front of the cat, who had flopped down on the couch and now raised his head in what Tony called the death stare, looking at him intensely.

„Blink once if you understand what I say.“

He waited for a reaction – any reaction – but those clear, blue eyes didn‘t betray a single thought. Tony moved his head slowly forward, not wanting to miss anything, until their faces were almost touching.

The cat licked Tony’s nose.

„Ugh, gross!“ Tony jumped to his feet, turning away and missing the one eyed wink.

_____________________________________

After a few days, the cat had settled in well. While in the beginning he had been hiding under and behind the furniture or watching everything from on top of the cupboards, Tony soon found him more and more often sleeping on the couch or following the man into the lab.

Peter loved the feline and whenever he was in the penthouse – Tony swore that was even more often now than before – he would scoop him up on his arms or pet him. The first few the cat had been reluctant, but he didn't stand a chance against the teenager, and eventually he'd given up to complain whenever Peter buried his fingers in the fur.

Even Tony had to admit, albeit reluctantly, that the fur was very soft. It also looked nice and shiny and healthy now, and not as scrubby as it had been in the beginning.

But whenever visitors came to the penthouse – it was admittedly not very often; only a few people had access these days – the cat disappeared. First Peter tried to coax him with food whenever Pepper or Rhodey came around, but with no luck.

"Stage fright, Blue Eye? You aren’t shy around me or Peter." Tony found the cat as soon as the doors to the elevator closed. The feline sat by the window, observing the city and fully ignoring Tony.

Fine, Tony had work to do anyway and went to his lab.

There was one person he had not yet tried to show his newest roommate. „Fri, babe, what day is it?“

„Thursday the tenth, Boss.“

One person, who hadn‘t shown up in a while and was late by over a week.

„Call Dumbledore.“

It went straight to voicemail and that was weird.

You see, after everything that happened on the flying doughnut, Thanos, that five year gap (aka Tony being angry about losing everything, including his final break up with Pepper) and then getting everyone back and defeating the mad titan – he kinda struck a friendship with the wizard doctor.

Maybe it was jump started by the fact that Strange saved Tony‘s life after he had used all the infinity stones at once. Plus he helped Tony build his new arm.

It also didn't hurt that Strange was really nice to look at. Like really nice.

Even after completion of the project ‘new arm who dis?‘ (not the best Tony came up with but he had started it as soon as Dr. Cho had cleared him off medical and he had been full of pain killers), they still met on the first Wednesday of every month to be snarky, arrogant and just being awesome together.

Strange kept an eye on Peter, whenever Tony wasn‘t around and Tony really appreciated that.

There was also a lot of flirting involved whenever the two men met, but that was just part of their charm and completely without any deeper meaning…

Tony was still in denial about his blossoming feelings for the doctor. And as long as he ignored them, they weren’t there. Even if he actually enjoyed the banter and the flirting and the way Stephen’s face lit up when… anyway!

Sure, sometimes the job came between their meetings. Tony may be retired (on paper), but Strange certainly wasn't.

He wasn't the Sorcerer Supreme anymore – due to technicalities as he always was fast to point out – but he still had a lot of duties protecting their reality.

He usually texted Tony when something came up. Maybe it was an emergency, but eight days was a pretty long emergency and Stephen had once mentioned that he didn't like to leave Earth for such a long time at a stretch.

So, Tony did the next best thing. „Friday, call Wong.“

He had kept in touch with the other sorcerer in the five year gap after the blip, albeit sporadically, because they all had more than enough to do filling in the gaps the snapped people left. It still was enough to excuse a friendly check in. Just to make sure that Stephen was okay and unharmed.

"Stark," Wong's always unamused voice greeted him a few seconds later. To this day, Tony didn't know if Wong even liked him.

"Wong," he mimicked his tone, but then got straight to the point, knowing Wong was no friend of unnecessary pleasantries. "Strange missed our awesome facial hair bros meeting last week and he doesn’t answer my phone."

There was a short pause before Wong replied. "He's not here." Did Tony imagine it or did he sound more annoyed than usual today? Maybe he was displeased to be treated as Strange‘s secretary.

„Okay, sure.“ Tony nodded to himself, starting to pace in the room. „When does he get back?“

„I don‘t know.“

Well, that wasn‘t very helpful.

„Did he leave the dimension?“ Tony asked anyway, unwilling to give up this easily.

There was a long pause as Wong actively hesitated. "I don't know," he said again, and that caught Tony's attention. He stopped walking.

„What do you mean, you don‘t know?“

"Strange disappeared a few weeks ago." That alone might have been explainable, but then Wong added, „… and he left the Cloak of Levitation behind.“

That had Tony alarmed. He had made acquaintance with the red piece of fabric that was unusually expressive for a being without an actual face. And Strange never left his weird magic castle without it.

Tony’s mind immediately jumped to various conclusions. „Any enemies that might got hold of him? Kidnapped by evil forces? Has there been a ransom demand?"

"We have no idea. It’s nothing we can trace with magic." His voice was clipped, concealing the paused anger at losing control of the issue. Wong was Strange's friend; he should have taken better care of him. The man couldn't shake the feeling that he had let him down.

"I'll try the tech way then," Tony suggested. "Nothing escapes the modern eyes of the ever-watching cameras."

"Thanks, that's appreciated."

Wong gave him the details of Strange's disappearance, the time period in which it must have happened (it was impossible to pin down exactly), and Tony promised to get back to him if he found anything.

He ran his fingers through his hair after hanging up. One of the most powerful sorcerers Earth had ever seen and someone he considered a friend was missing – that wasn't great news.

"Alright, Fri, run a face recognition search for Strange. Start in New York, then expand it world wide."

"I'm on it, Boss."

Tony propped his forearms on one of the tables and stared into space. If Strange had been gone for several weeks already, without a trace...that was very concerning. Briefly, the image of a cave in Afghanistan flickered before his eyes, but he quickly shook it off and focused on the map of the U.S. on Fridays screen and the small loading bar she liked to display for funsies.

„Where are you, Stephen Strange?“

_____________________________________

The fact that the cat rejected any kind of cat food didn‘t mean that he wasn‘t hungry. He had been starved when Peter had dragged him to the penthouse, and after overcoming his initial distrust, he began to bug anyone available for food three times a day.

"You're a menace," Tony growled angrily as the feline jumped up on the couch next to him and began meowing loudly to tell him that it was time for lunch. "A weird, precisely timed menace."

By now he was able to interpret his fluffy roommate's behavior well and knew that he wouldn't stop making noise until there was food on his plate. (Yes, the cat wanted to eat from an actual plate. Tony had never used so many dishes).

Since the cat was happy to eat whatever Tony was having, Tony had taken to simply ordering two portions at a time. Tony couldn't help but think he had been bullied into having a regular eating rhythm by a cat.

He had to admit that the company was nice. He talked to the feline as if it were a human being - he had already applied this mannerism with his AI sons and it hadn't done them any harm (except for Ultron, but there was always a black sheep in the family) – an sometimes the cat answered with a meow, so that it almost felt like a real conversation.

Tony balanced two plates of sushi to the table - no algae for the cat, just rice and fish. The feline jumped on the table and waited patiently, eyes fixed on the food and tail twitching slightly. He stretched his neck, annoyed that Tony was holding the plate just out of reach. The human teased him only briefly, then finally put the plate on the table and at the same time gave him a kiss on the head. The cat looked very scandalized and puffed out his chest, not amused about the unexpected act of affection.

Tony chuckled and sat down at the table as well. It had been worth fishing a cat hair out of his mouth just for that reaction. „You‘re the strangest cat I‘ve ever met,“ Tony grinned when the cat gave him the stinky eye.

The irony was lost on him.

_____________________________________

Tony had had a long day when he landed on the platform of the tower and the nanobots retreated to the house unit on his chest. Well, it was only afternoon in New York – but not on the other side of the world in Norway where he had helped Thor and Loki with something. New Asgard was developing well. People started healing.

Tony had set up a fund and that involved a lot of paperwork and details he had to supervise. Next time he would take the jet. It might be slower, but he could get a nap on an actual bed on his way back.

"Hey Blue Eye." The cat tiptoed around his feet to greet him (and possibly trip him) but Tony was too tired to do anything more than a quick pet along his back. He only wanted to lie down in his bed, pull the covers over his head and sleep for the next three days.

Unfortunately, it was still too early to go to bed and, besides, he still had some contracts to read and approve.

Tony needed coffee.

The cat stayed at his side and seemed almost understandingly about the absent attention. Or at least he didn’t complain about it. In return the cat got his smaller bowl of coffee – together with a kiss on his head.

At first it had been funny to watch the feline's unwilling reaction to it. Now it was routine. Tony swore if cats could roll their eyes, this one would do it every day.

With coffee in one hand and a Starkpad in the other, Tony made himself comfortable on the couch. He put his house unit down on the small table on the side. He always kept it within reach; it was his safety anchor, if only to ease his mind.

It probably said a lot about him that he never let it out of his sight for more than a few minutes, but he had made his peace with it. Besides, it was better safe than sorry.

It didn't take long until the cushion dipped and the cat joined him. Blue eyes fixed on him and the Starkpad. Carefully, the animal placed a paw on Tony's torso and when nothing more than a hum came in response, the cat climbed onto Tony's chest where he lay down, his paws tucked under his fluffy body.

"No," Tony protested, "No, that's no place for you." After all, his chest was still his sore point, even after the surgery that had removed the arc reactor. Or maybe because of that.

But the cat merely started purring loudly and closed his eyes.

Tony blinked at him, baffled. Surprisingly, the cat did not feel heavy at all. On the contrary, the slight vibration of his purring felt pleasant. Like a small, warm engine.

"Fine, you can stay – for now." Tony turned his focus back to the Starkpad. Reading, he absently buried his fingers in the soft fur.

This was kinda relaxing.

Later that evening Peter came to visit later to ask about New Asgard and its princes – he had wanted to travel overseas, but wasn't allowed – he found Tony asleep on the couch. His hand was on the cat, which was still on his chest. The feline lifted his head when he heard the boy and narrowed his eyes as if to tell the boy not to be too loud.

Peter put his finger to his lips as a sign that he would be quiet. Tiptoeing, he fetched a blanket for his mentor.

(He also snatched a photo. It was too cute not to.)

_____________________________________

The other day Peter helped Tony to tweak some issues with his new arm. It was nothing serious, just a few detail problems that had only become apparent in the long-term use of the prosthesis.

Since Peter was not a medical expert and only lent an extra pair of hands – everything took so much longer with only one functioning arm – Bruce and Doctor Cho joined in a video conference. Between the number of PhDs and genius brain cells they all mustered, the work was a piece of cake.

"I'm taking the boxes out for recycling," Peter announced after they fixed it.

A lot of materials were made in the lab itself, other things Tony had delivered. But he rarely took care of the packaging, always throwing the boxes in a corner, preoccupied by the projects he needed the materials for in the first place. He grew up rich and never had to clean up after himself, but always had staff or robots for that.

Sure, he kept his workspace neat – or at least the neat ambivalent to the creative chaos, he liked to call it. But the state of everything around it was less important. So there was often a growing stack of empty boxes in at least one corner of the lab.

Peter, raised by his aunt to clean a mess before he left, stacked the boxes inside each other. As he reached for one further in the back, he heard a disgruntled meow. Apparently he had just disturbed someone's nap.

"Sorry," Peter chuckled and set the box aside to take another instead. "Mister Stark bought you that fancy cat tree and you still prefer sleeping in that box? Honestly? Mood."

In response, he heard the noise of paws on cardboard as the cat turned around and lay back down with his back to Peter. The message was clear: he didn't want to be disturbed.

Tony, meanwhile, glanced at Friday's search results for Strange, which were pretty depressing: there were none. It was already the third try – Tony had run the search again and again, always adjusting the parameters – and there wasn’t any trace of the sorcerer.

He had even hacked the cameras in the street of the Sanctum (it wasn't quite legal, not even close, but nobody was able to track his traces anyway, so yeah... ), and had Friday analyze the whole video data of the last few months. There was nothing to indicate the sudden reason for his disappearance.

Absolutely nothing.

If the sorcerer was still on Earth, Tony didn’t know where he could possibly be hiding.

_____________________________________

Tony was having a nightmare. He floated in space – the world had crumbled, all worlds had. Snippets of his loved ones popped up like visions from the past. Peter, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy; all of them in a moment of death. Their screams of agony echoed in Tony‘s head.

He tried to reach out to them but he couldn't move in the vacuum of space. His friends were too far away and he was too small in the magnitude of cosmos.

He needed his suit! He was in space and he needed his suit.

Tony tapped his chest, but there was no house unit, no arc reactor. Just an empty, black void where his lungs should be.

Did he even breathe? How could he breathe in space?

As if the thought had become reality, he suddenly got no more air. He tried to kick and scream without moving and making a sound. The feeling of suffocation brought tears to his eyes. He tried to grab something, anything, but there was nothing.

He was alone.

Suddenly he felt pressure on his chest. Not uncomfortable, more like an anchor that reassured him – like his house unit usually did. With his chest no longer an empty void, he was able to take a deep breath and slowly became aware of his surroundings as he awoke.

He heard the hum of an engine in the background, and still felt the weight on his chest.

"Friday?" he whispered into the darkness, his eyes still closed.

"It's 5:37 in the morning, Boss. Today is Monday the fifth. You're free until ten, when a call with the UN is scheduled," the familiar voice of his AI listed the facts. It helped Tony to shake off his dream, to focus on the present.

„Thanks, babe.“

He reached for his chest and his finger touched fur. Surprised, he opened his eyes and realized that the hum of the engine was actually the purr of the cat.

"Hey, Blue Eye." He smiled softly, his throat still feeling sore. "What are you doing here?"

It was the first time he was seeing the feline in his bedroom. Before today he had always slept in the living room and never even pried into Tony's personal room, as if he wanted to give him space.

Ridiculous! First off, cats had no sense of personal space. Exhibit A was on his chest.

Secondly, his bedroom had probably seen more people than his personal lab. At least in the past – not so much recently.

"He sensed your distress," Friday told him. She knew that speaking to him after a nightmare helped him. „And he refused to leave.“

„Thanks, I guess.“ Tony petted the head of the feline. „Are you gonna let me get up to make coffee for us?“ The cat didn‘t move an inch, just looked at him in concern with his bright eyes. „Fine, five more minutes.“

Tony – perfectly able to move the cat if he wanted to – remained lying and scratched the feline behind his black ears, under his jaw and along his back. The purr got louder and contentedly the cat closed his eyes, relaxed into Tony’s torso.

Half an hour later the cat finally stood up, stretched and jumped on the floor. He was meowing, announcing that it was now indeed time for breakfast.

That wasn‘t a bad idea, Tony could go for a bagel. And coffee. Always coffee.

The feline got his coffee served as usual with a kiss on his fluffy head.

_____________________________________

That day he felt better than he normally would after a horrible nightmare. Having a pet wasn't as bad as he had first thought when Peter dragged the cat in.

When Tony was a kid he had begged his father for a dog – probably like every kid did at one point. His father had refused, had said that animals were too much of a responsibility, that they were dirty and that Tony didn't have time for it. Then Tony was sent to a boarding school, and he never asked again.

Later, when his parents died and Tony took over SI, he really did not had time for a pet. Besides, he had been more interested in women and men anyway

For the next few decades, he hadn't given a second thought to getting a pet. Why should he? He had his robots to look after and Jarvis who kept him company.

But it still felt different when Tony went to bed that night and the cat jumped on his mattress. He didn't even acknowledge Tony when he flopped down next to his shoulder, as if he had always belonged there.

Tony didn't complain about the pet in his bed – something he definitely wouldn't have allowed in the past. Somehow he knew it was the cat's way to look out for him.

Ridiculous! - it was just a cat.

But Tony had seen weirder stuff. He stroked once along the back through the soft fur and slipped under the covers. „Good night, Blue Eye.“ If this was how retirement would be, he could get used to it.

Then the cat moved his tail into Tony‘s face.

_____________________________________

„So, we still have no idea where he is,“ Tony concluded his conversation with Wong. It was something that worried him a lot. Strange had been gone for several weeks, as if he had simply vanished into thin air. (He didn't, at least not magically. Wong said they would have traced that).

The other sorcerer sat in his kitchen with a cup of tea in his hand. He looked seriously concerned and that had a lot to say.

They had spoken a few times, updated each other on the case – although there was depressingly little to update.

Today Wong had walked through a portal into Tony’s kitchen. In that respect, he was worse than Strange, who at least texted him like five seconds before he showed up. It was the thought that counted.

"I should have looked out for him more. He hasn‘t been the same after the snap,“ Wong said in something that sounded like regret.

„It was hard for everyone to settle back in,“ Tony acknowledged. „The world moved on while half of the population was absent.“

The sorcerer shook his head. That wasn‘t what he meant. Sure, Stephen lost his position as Sorcerer Supreme to him and in the meantime the Sanctum had also chosen a new Master, but that was not the reason why Stephen had become distant after everyone reappeared. It wasn‘t the reason why he had been almost unstable.

Stephen had tried to hide it – of course he did. That was just how Stephen acted. Especially since he knew first hand about all the responsibilities Wong had to juggle as Sorcerer Supreme.

Wong had seen snippets of it anyway. But it had to be worse than he had assumed. He didn't know what had happened to his friend, but it couldn't be good.

„He told you about the various possible outcomes of the battle with Thanos, right?“ he asked and Tony nodded. „He didn‘t just watch over 14 million futures, he lived every single one of them. That takes a toll on any man‘s mind. It must have been worse than fighting Dormammu.“

„That was the demon he pulled into a time loop and annoyed him until he left earth?“

Wong's eyes darted up in surprise that Tony knew about that. Stephen didn‘t talk about it a lot. „That‘s one way to describe it,“ he snorted.

„So, you think he went insane in between those futures and forgot which reality is the real one?“ Tony's conclusion was, as always, precise and hit the mark. He even took it further. "And when you think about how many futures he's had to watch fail…" How many deaths of family, friends and close ones he had had to watch, over and over again.

Tony had seen such a future once and it had been borderline torture. It still haunted him sometimes, seamlessly joining the long queue of his nightmares.

„He seemed okay last time I saw him,“ Tony muttered lamely. He knew that it didn't mean anything. He had kept it secret from his friends for a long time, that he was outright dying. Back when he had the palladium in his blood.

And he remembered that he had often caught Strange staring into space, like he had simply zoned out. But sometimes he confused basic facts on who was still alive.

Tony hadn't read too much into it. Although he liked the man and enjoyed having him around (Tony was too old to call it a crush), he didn't know the doctor well enough to judge him.

"We are still waiting for some replies from other dimensions. So, there's still a chance." Wong put down his cup and rose. A clear sign that the meeting was over. He raised his hand with his portal ring. "I'll inform you if we-..." He froze as a black cat pawed around the corner of the doorway into the kitchen, stopping equally surprised.

Tony had never seen so much emotion on Wong's face. The sorcerer literally gasped before he found his voice again.

„Strange?!“

[marvelogic]

UGLY LOVE - Chapter 1

a/n: HERE IS THE FIRST CHAPTER OF UGLY LOVE!! its finally here!! I hope you all enjoy and if you wish to be tagged please let me know! Sorry for taking so long!!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Words: 3k+

Summary: When Y/N Stark finds airline pilot Bucky Barnes passed out in front of her apartment door, it is definitely not love at first sight. They wouldn't even go so far as to consider themselves friends.

Warnings: Cursing, Alcoholism, Angst * I think that’s it, if I missed something lmk*

| material list |

| Teaser | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

*please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours. reblogs, likes, and comments are always appreciated! love you*

"Somebody shot you in the neck, young lady."

My pupils widen, and I quickly turn toward the elderly gentleman wearing a pilot cap. I watch as he presses the elevator button to the next level and faces me.

"Your birthmark." he says.

Out of instinct my left hand reaches up behind my neck.

"They say when you die your birthmark is a symbol of your passing. So I'm guessing you got shot in the neck. At least it must have been a quick death."

A small smile graces my face, but I don't know if I should be entertained or rush to the front doors.

Although his shaky, curvy posture and wrinkly skin, says he isn't a day over 70.

"Are you heading towards the twenty-first floor?" he says while walking towards the cherry red chair in the corner of the lobby. Grunting as he slumps into the chair, giving direct eye contact to me.

This man I barley know, knows what floor I'm heading to, even though this is my first time ever stepping foot into this building.

"Yes...sir?" I say cautiously "By chance do you work here?"

"As a matter of fact, I do"

I turn my head towards the elevator. Thirteen more floors to go. I hope it goes quickly.

"I just push buttons for people to go up and down. Not sure you can call that a real job, even though I've been doing this since I got to that age where they believed I couldn't do much. But I do refer to myself as flight Captain, considering I was a Pilot back in my golden days. Now I send people up as high as 32 flights in the air."

I couldn't help but let a small smile grace my lips when he said that. We talked for a while and I couldn't help but laugh at some of his antics, realizing the elevator doors open. I turn to reach for my bags and look up to him one more time.

"What's your name?"

"Stan Lee, but you can call me Cap." he says "Everybody who lives here does"

"Do you have any birthmarks Cap?" Chuckling he says, "As a matter of fact I do, one right in the ass. That must have been a slow and painful death for me." I couldn't help but laugh and salute him on my way into the elevator doors.

I begin walking into the elevators with my luggage. Heading towards my floor. I didn't expect Tony to be living as an..adult. The last time I visited him he was whoring around with a new women everyday in a small two-story sketchy complex. What I sure wasn’t expecting was a high-rise smack dab in the middle of downtown Brooklyn, Seattle.

As the elevator doors are closing, a hand immediately presses in between causing the door to reopen. A tall rugged man with light brown hair and a stubbled beard entered. "Thanks cap." He says before entering, although I can't see cap I hear him grunt something. He didn't sound so enthusiastic as he did with me a while back. He turns and gives me a knowing smile I know all to well. I see him slip his left hand into his pocket, eyeing his wedding ring.

"Moving in?" he asks, bluntly. His eyes roam my body from head to toe, stopping at my chest. Then back up to my face.

"None of your business." I reply coldly

He laughs

He thinks I’m joking

But there is no way in hell, I'm allowing him to know where I'm going. Especially if he's a married man. I feel bad for his wife.

"I could help with those" he points to my bags at my feet.

"It's fine, I've got it." I look towards the elevator numbers hoping they would move faster.

He reaches over me and presses floor eighteen. Four more floors to go.

The elevator stops at his floor and before he walks out he turns to me. " Catch you later, y/n." he winks before getting out of my view.

I frowned knowing the two people I interacted with know who I am, yet I don’t have a single indication of who they are. Finally the elevator reaches floor twenty-one and I pick up my suitcases and walk out. I begin looking at all the numbers on the doors. I'm not sure if it was 1989 or 1999. As I’m walking a guy passed out in front of door 1989 was in the way of the entrance. While I check to make sure it's the correct number Tony texted me last night, I look down at the guy asleep hoping this isn’t the room number.

Please don’t let it be 1989.

I read the message on my phone and cringe.

Of course it is..

I slowly walk to the door and try to go around hoping to not wake him up. His legs are sprawled out in front of him, and he’s leaning with his back propped on Tony’s door. His chin is tucked uncomfortably on his chest, and he’s snoring.

“Hello?” I say in a whisper hoping to ease him awake.

He doesn’t move

I step back and gently tap on his shoulder with the tip of my toe.

Still…nothing

“I need to get into this apartment.” He groans and slowly opens one eye. He looks at me up and down then he closes his eyes and he begins to snore again. Great.

Tony won’t be back until tomorrow so I dial his number and hear it ring.

“Y/n?” He answers without a hello.

“Yes sir” I reply and I hear him groan on the other side “I made it safely from my trip, but there’s only a slight problem. There’s a guy passed out drunk in front of the door. And I cant make it inside. Um..recommendations?”

“Eighteen Twenty-nine?” He asked “Are you sure you’re in the right apartment?”

“Yes”

“Are you sure he’s drunk?”

“Yes”

“Huh, weird.” He says “ What’s he wearing?”

“What does his clothing have to do with anything?”

“Well if he’s wearing a pilot uniform, he probably lives in the building.”

Oh.

“He’s wearing a dark grey shirt with blue jeans. No uniform.”

“Can you get passed him without waking him up?”

“He would fall into the apartment if I open the door.”

“Go to cap, I told him you were coming.” I sigh, because I just came from a long drive, and what help would a 80 year old man do.

“Just stay on the phone with me, until I’m safe inside the apartment.”

I like my plan a whole lot better. I put my phone between my ear and shoulder. I dig through my handbag to find the spare key Tony gave me. I unlock the door and begin to slowly open it. Except, the guy falls every inch I push it open.

“To bad he’s wasted.” I say “he’s pretty good looking.”

“Get your ass into the apartment y/n.” Tony says

I roll my eyes. He is still the over protective brother, he was when I was younger. When I moved in with him back then, it was constant fights but that’s just any type of siblings to be honest. That’s why I was kinda sketchy on moving in with him. However, I had no time to find a job, get an apartment, and settle into my classes in time. So this will have to do.

I’m hoping we have matured enough. I’m twenty-four and Tony’s twenty-six. And if we can’t act like adults, then we have a lot of growing up to do.

It really depends on Tony if he’s changed, since we last lived together. He was always the protective one around me. He always watched who I dated, who I made friends with, always wanted me home at a certain time, always knew where I was. I guess that’s what big brothers do.

I pull my purse around my shoulders but it gets caught up in my luggage. I slide it off and place it on the floor.

“Tony, I’m gonna have to hang up so I can move him, he’s to heavy.”

“No! Don’t hang up y/n! Stay on the phone with me until you get into the apartment.”

“Okay fine, but your going in the bra.” He makes gagging noises, while I put my phone between my boobs.

“Alright buddy, sorry to disturb you but I gotta get into the apartment.” I crouch down so I’m able to move him to the side, after awhile I move him enough for him to sit against the doorframe, allowing me to push open the door.

As I get back up to grab my stuff

I freeze

I look down

“Let go of me!” I yell, using my other foot to kick him off of me. He’s gripping me so hard I’m sure it’ll bruise tomorrow. While I try to remove myself from his grip, I fall back into the apartment.

“I need to get in there.” he mutters. Just as my butt meets the floor I keep trying to pry him off me. He attempts to push the door wide open which send me into full panic. I pull both my legs into the apartment and attempt to slam the door but I slam it shut on his wrist.

“Shit!” He yells. My foot is pressing so hard against the door, he fails at pulling his hand back to him. I slowly release enough pressure for him to take his hand back and slam the door shut. I’m breathing so hard my heart is literlly screaming at me.

Like I physically hear it saying “Y/n!? Y/n!?” In a deep male voice that sounds all to familiar?

Tony?

I forgot about my phone and pull it out of my bra.

“Y/n! Answer me! Damn it!”

I wince at his aggressiveness and bring the phone up to my ear.

“Tony?”

“Jesus Christ, y/n! You scared the hell out of me!!”

“I’m fine.” I say breathlessly “I locked the door, and I’m in the apartment.”

I get up from the floor and begin to move inside the apartment. Until I go to a halt. I realize what I have left outside in the hall.

“Um…Tony?” I pause “I may have..sorta left some of my belongings outside…” silence…that’s all I hear for a while. “What did you leave outside?” He sighs into the phone.

I don’t want to answer him but I have no choice. “My purse..” “Why is your purse outside in the hallway!” he says “..and the key to the apartment.” I ignore his previous remark. I hear him sigh “Jesus Christ y/n..”

“And my luggage” I say in a low voice. He groans. “Let me call Bucky, see if he’s home yet.”

“Wait…who’s Bucky?”

“He lives across the hall from us. I’ll give him a call, but whatever you do, don’t open the door!” Tony hangs up and I slide down the wall, next to the door waiting for his call.

Two minutes later, Tony calls back

“Hey?”

“Y/n?”

“Yes?”

I wonder why he always says my name when he calls me. I mean he called me in the first place.

He lets out a sigh “What’s wrong?” I ask

“I got a hold of Bucky.”

“Great! When is he coming? Is he gonna help me get my stuff?”

Silence, followed by a long sigh

“Not exactly,” Tony says “I actually need you to do me a HUGE favor…”

I drop my head against the door. Living here with Tony will consist of a lot of favors, considering he’s doing me a huge one for letting me stay here.

“What do you need?” I ask him

“Bucky kinda needs your help…” he trails off

“The neighbor in front?”

Tony let’s out a big sigh “ I need you to open the door and let him in…let him crash on the floor or the couch. I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon. By then he’ll be sobered up and he’ll head back to his place.”

I shake my head although he can’t see me “ What kind of apartment complex do you live in? Do I have to come home expecting to be assaulted, by every drunk man who happens to be passed out in front of your door?”

Long silence “He assaulted you?”

“Well no…assaulted is a strong word. All he did was grab my ankle.”

Tony sighs on the other end of the phone.

“Y/n, please just do me this solid favor and call me when you get him and all your stuff inside…please.”

“Ugh fine” I tell him before hanging up.

I put my phone on the kitchen counter and make my way back to the front door unlocking it. The minute I open the door the drunk guy..I mean Bucky has his phone on his shoulder and it slides to the floor.

“You’re not Tony??”

“And you must be Bucky…” I mumble more to myself then to him

“I’m your new neighbor, Tony isn’t home right now but I’m going to get you inside.”

I shove him by his shoulders so his back is against the wall. I attempt to get him up but he weighs a ton. So I grab him by the arms and drag him inside.

After what felt like hours his body is in the hallway of the apartment complex. I walk back outside and grab all my things from the floor and head back in, locking the door on my way.

He hasn’t moved an inch from the floor, so I set my things down and get ready to move him to the couch.

“Okay, this isn’t easy so when your sober enough you owe me big time.” I tell him after some time. I swear he’s taking all my energy out of me but eventually, I get him in the couch and head to the shower.

About fifteen minutes have passed when I come out to check on Bucky. I head back to the living room and he’s gone. I walk to the kitchen and Bucky is there hanging by a threat off the kitchen island on the edge of the stool.

“Bucky?” No answer.

I walk closer to him and tap his shoulder and he nearly falls to the ground but I’m quick enough to put his arm over my shoulder.

“Alright buddy let’s get you back to the couch.”

“Bucky” he slurs.

I look down at him confused and he mumbles

“My names Bucky.” I hold in my laugh while we head towards the living room “It’s Bucky, not buddy.” He mumbles.

“Okay Bucky, let’s get you back on the couch.”

The second I sit him on the couch he looks me dead in his eyes. His eyes are Marian blue like the ocean. I could stare at them everyday, all night and never get tired of it.

“Okay Bucky, you have to get some sleep.” As I’m walking away he grips onto my forearm tightly causing me to a halt.

I try to pull away but fail miserably considering he is way stronger then I am.

“Natasha, don’t,” he says sounding so desperate trying to pull me with him on the couch.

Sighing “I’m not Natasha,” pulling from his iron grip.“It’s y/n.”

I go to the room to retrieve a pillow for him. I return handing him the pillow only to watch, he’s now on his side with his face against the cushions. He has a deadly grip causing his knuckles to turn white. I though he was gonna throw up. Only, I was wrong.

He’s not sick.

He’s crying.

Violently.

So hard I can’t even hear him let out a single sound.

I’ve only known the guy for a couple minutes, but he is obviously devastated. My first instinct is to walk away and give him some privacy, but my heart is telling me I need to stay and comfort him somehow. My whole life I’ve been good with avoiding peoples problems and dealing with my own, but he looks so vulnerable right now.

I lower myself to my knees inches away from his face and tap his shoulder. “Bucky?”

He slowly lifts his face from the cushion and inhales deeply. His eyes are blood shot red and he looks broken. I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol or his result of crying. “I’m so sorry Natasha.” He looks me dead in the eye and reaches for my hand. Then with his other hand he reaches to the back of my neck and pulls me in for a bone crushing hug.

I don’t know who this Natasha chick is, but he must have hurt her and vise versa. “I’m so sorry.” He says pulling me from my thoughts.

I don’t know what’s going on but he’s hurting really bad, and if he’s hurting real bad, then she’s probably the same way. I want to look through his phone, find her name and give her a call. Maybe she could help make amends with him. Instead, I grab the pillow I brought earlier and put it under his head.

“Go to sleep Bucky”

His eyes are so full of pain. “You hate me so much, it’s all my fault,” He releases a heavy breath “Please, don’t leave me.” His eyes finally fall shut and he releases a shaky breath.

“I’m not going anywhere” I say faintly, although he’s already asleep. I wait a few minutes before I pull myself from his embrace.

Although, he’s asleep he somehow looks like someone who’s world just crumbled on him and is in immense pain. His face is scrunched up and his breathing is unsteady.

For the first time, I notice a scar across his jaw that goes down his neck, about six inches long. It stops roughly three inches from his lips. The feeling in me wants to touch it so lightly and trace it, as if it was the most delicate thing in the world. Inestead, I stroke his hair, trying to ease him more in his sleep, even though he probably doesn’t deserve it. This guy may deserve every bit of remorse he’s currently feeling for whatever he did to this girl Natasha, but at least he’s feeling it. I have to give him credit for that.

I get up and make my way to the room to give Tony a call telling him I’m okay and got Bucky in safely.

I look back before I enter the room and I see he looks more relaxed then he did five minutes ago.

Whatever he did to Natasha, at least he loves her enough to regret it.

a/n: and that’s it for chapter one!! what did you guys think? if you want to be added to the taglist lmk!

Taglist

@eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @themorningsunshine @therealhawkguy

[beaniibunzz]

The Kai Drew And Bean Power Hour!!!

This is an ask blog made by three(3) silly goobers about their silly goobers

the main mods are:

🥤: Fizz :> [@local-soda-can] (the main mod/runner of the blog)

prns: they/it/he

🥐: Pastrii :D [@pastriibunz] (the main artist!)

prns: she/her

🌶️: Chilli :3 [@chillibeanos] (ai voice maker, also draws sometimes)

prns: any

Kai is extremely cartoonish and goofy. She likes to go with the flow, she can get into some pretty wacky shenanigans because of this(she ended up running the mafia in her hometown of Unington- don't ask how). Unington is a New Orleans looking town, it acts like a safe space for anyone who wants to join. Almost anybody and everybody is welcome. She tries her best to be as selfless as possible(considering she’s the Savior Of The Multiverse™️). She’s just such a character and even has her own verb; Drewy! You could find her walking down the streets of Unington, saving the day, singing and dancing on stage (She’s one hell of a performance artist!), or working her second (or third, depending on how you see it) job at Unington’s very own Suave Cafe!

Bean is a very goofy rabbit hybrid that lives a joyous life of crime, although they do end up saving anyone who they feel like saving. They’re a galactic and earthbound outlaw, plus the mayor of a wonderful suburban town called Auburn, many of the friends they meet on their journey end up living there(plus their spouses(yes spouses- plural-)). They’re part of The Guardians Of The Galaxy, work with Tony Stark, and they’re a Spider-man!

Monika and Bendy are Kai’s parents! At first, it was only Bendy who had adopted Kai but she ended up in DDLC somehow and Monika adopted her without knowing about Bendy’s adoption. They now take care of Kai together, despite not really liking each other- But they try to be the best parents they can be :D

Sam and Max are Bean’s parents! They found Bean in an alleyway when they were small. The two of them tried looking for Bean’s parents, but after a while they ended up adopting them. They love Bean with all their hearts and try to be good parents :>

Kai’s friend group consists of Hanako-Kun, Nene Yashiro, Mitsuba Sousuke, Minamoto Kou, and Kel Clover! Kel’s the mom friend, Yashiro is the emotional whirlwind, Mitsuba is the instigator, Hanko flirts a lot with Kai (she is an idiot and thinks its all just jokes (It's not)) and Kou’s here for the ride. Even though they come from different universes, the five(5) of them bond wonderfully and love being in Unington with Kai. 

Bean and Kai are unofficial siblings. Bean is the older one, and is kinda protective of Kai. Kai is the younger one, and hates that Bean has jurisdiction over her. They love each other :D

Bean’s friend group changes a bunch, but the main ones are Pavitr Prabhakar, Deadpool, Akiyama Mizuki, Chelsea, Link, and Stocking Anarchy. They do shenanigans all the time, they’re just very goofy in general. 

The Stupids™️ consist of Izuku Midoriya, Stan Marsh, and Wally Darling. They seem to be.. .obsessed with Kai and never leave her alone(except Midoriya, he’s the only good one and actually respects Kai :>).

Bean has many spouses(about 97 of them-) but the main ones are Leon Kennedy, Scaramouche, and Monarch. They’re very goofy and love Bean with all their hearts :D 

Even though Kai has been officially adopted by Bendy and Monika, other people still want to adopt her. The two main offenders are Leon Kennedy (who doesn’t need Bean to co-parent with him, as he can, and I quote, “Be both the mom and the dad!”) and Reese Verlice (Not Pictured). What can I say, she’s adoptable!

Kai and her friends get into silly shenanigans whenever they can, her friends also act as a “secret service” for Kai.

Kai and her parents get along wonderfully, her parents both do the best they can to provide a nice childhood for their daughter(even if they hate each other-).

Kai thinks her parents' fights are funny, especially when they notice her watching and pretend to be all lovey dovey. Kai can cook, despite what most people think. However, nobody in her large family can cook (Yashiro managed to burn straight up water once, don’t ask how). 

Kai desperately wants The Stupids™️ to leave her alone-(except Midoriya, he’s cool :>)

Kai likes all the spouses! Except for Scara, he’s mean to her. (Fun Fact: Monarch ended up rizzing up BOTH Bean and Kai, but he’s mostly a Bean spouse.)

Bean and their friends are absolutely goofy, these people get in shenanigans almost every day.

Bean and their parents are a wonderful trio, there isn’t a single dull day with them as their parents try to make Bean happy.

Bean loves each of their spouses equally(there definitely isn’t a favorite- and it’s definitely not Leon-).Bean hates The Stupids™️(except for Midoriya, they tolerate him-).

Important Power Hour Links!: Pastrii’s Character.AIs!!!

Pastrii’s Power Hour Intro/Boundaries List!

“Puppet Girl!” - Chapter Masterlink!

We hope you enjoy the show and don’t forget to ask away!!! Yes we may not be THAT popular or famous, but it’s still fun to at least try and be goofy :> 🥐: Don't forget to reblog, it helps a lot yk??? (I have never used tumblr i have no clue what im talking about) 🥤: I am the tumblr expert (I also have no clue what I'm talking about-)

[mayedays]

I don’t want to bother any of the people in this thread https://www.tumblr.com/videogamelover99/715466407414054913, so I’m not gonna reblog it, but I have sort of come to dread seeing those Ursula LeGuin and Toni Morrison quotes on my dash, because...its not that I disagree with it precisely, but I don’t know how to square it with “there is no moral dimension to enjoying/caring about villainous fictional characters” or “there is no moral dimension to finding villains more interesting than heroes” or “there is no moral dimension to enjoying corruption arcs”.  And I must believe those last two things (or perhaps I’m still in the “just struggle to accept them” stage) or I would have to judge a lot of people who are important to me negatively (and also myself). Because LeGuin at least does seem to be judging people pretty hard for finding evil interesting, although I suppose she’s saying the problem lies in finding only evil interesting...but for some reason I still feel confused. It still feels like passing judgement on anyone who likes not-so-good characters.

This is particularly confusing because literally the person who put it on my dash is very attached to (/a fan of) at least one villain, so there must not be a conflict, because otherwise they wouldn’t be reblogging it. Why would a villain-stan agree with the Toni Morrison quote? If you agree with the statement “I just think goodness is more interesting” why would you feel a draw to a villain, and if you had experience feeling drawn to a villain, why would you ever agree with such a general blanket statement about the comparative interesting-ness of good over evil? And if you agree with the statement about the “treason of the artist”, why would you stan a villain? They are often rather romantic depictions of evil! I understand agreeing with LeGuin and still enjoying a villain that shows how a villain’s evil is banal and uninteresting, but that doesn’t seem likely to generate a strong attachment to the villain themselves, just the narrative they are in. If pain is so boring why do so many people seek out tragedies (and not just to relieve or cure their own pain, but for fun!)

I feel like the answer to all of this is dancing in my peripheral vision. Or perhaps it’s actually staring me staring in the face and I’m just not able to see it because I’m being too literal or making incorrect assumptions (or something).

[lokiondisneyplus]

No character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe has the staying power of Loki. Portrayed with just the right amount of smarm and charm by Tom Hiddleston, the impish trickster with the ability to shapeshift and cast illusions is a favorite among fans despite the fact he's betrayed friends and family multiple times since debuting opposite Chris Hemsworth in 2011's "Thor." The most predictable thing about him might be his unpredictability. And yet no one thought the character would return to the MCU after being killed by the all-mighty Thanos (Josh Brolin) in the opening scene of 2018's "Avengers: Infinity War." However, we're now on the cusp of the character leading his very own show.

Debuting Wednesday, June 9 on Disney+, the six-episode "Loki" follows a past version of the character, though it's not a prequel. This Loki is the man who successfully stole the Tesseract, aka the Space Stone, when the Avengers traveled to the past in 2019's "Avengers: Endgame." His actions that day ultimately created a branched reality — the very thing the Ancient One (Tilda Swinton) warned the Avengers about when they attempted to gather the stones in the past. So when the show picks up, Loki will find himself being forced to work with the Time Variance Authority, an organization dedicated to protecting the proper flow of time, to help restore the main timeline he broke when he fled with the Tesseract in 2012.

It remains to be seen whether or not the series is one of the shows Marvel's Kevin Feige said was developed with additional seasons in mind. But with this particular setup — and assuming the show operates independently of the main overarching narrative of the MCU — this is the type of series that could easily run for multiple seasons should the people involved desire it. And given his comments over the years, Hiddleston definitely seems game to portray Loki until he's too old to do so.

But what is it about the character, a Frost Giant who was adopted by Odin (Anthony Hopkins) as a baby and raised as an Asgardian, that has allowed him to persevere – especially when Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson), Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) and even Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) have not? What gives Loki, a character who has been both villain and antihero, such longevity in the MCU? Is it Hiddleston himself? Is he nurturing goodwill with his enchanting performance? Is it the character's unpredictability keeping things fresh? Or is it the potential of a flawed man still searching for an identity and purpose?

Over the last decade, Hiddleston — whose name was once bandied about as a possible James Bond candidate after a stellar turn in "The Night Manager" — has won favor with Marvel and its fans thanks to his continued dedication to the role of Loki and his support of the extended universe. Some actors have been happy to say goodbye after fulfilling their contracts, but you'd be hard-pressed to find an actor who loves his job with Marvel more than Hiddleston. (Never forget the time he dressed up in character and took over Hall H at San Diego Comic-Con in 2013.) But in addition to his acting chops and commitment to the role of Loki, Hiddleston is also just an effortlessly charming individual, and some of that natural charisma bleeds into his performance, making the character a richer and more complex character as a result. And it's a good thing too because a character like Loki — someone ruled by his emotions, whose only allegiance is to himself, and who wouldn't think twice before double-crossing his own brother — runs the risk of becoming either very annoying or quite tired rather quickly. Luckily, Loki is neither.

After learning the truth of his origins in the first Thor film, Loki's anger toward his family and the betrayal he felt put him on a path to finding his purpose, which resulted in him becoming the mouthy and manipulative, power-hungry antagonist of the first Avengers movie. At the time, no one outside of Feige and other decision-making executives likely knew what was in store for the future of the MCU.

But now we can look back and see Hiddleston's captivating turn in "The Avengers," in which he attempts to take control of Earth using an army of Chitauri forces, was more than just the catalyst for the various heroes recruited by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) to finally team up. It was also the beginning of what might be the best character arc in the entire MCU. No one save perhaps Sebastian Stan's Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier, has had a more complicated or effective emotional personal journey throughout the entirety of the Infinity Saga (and beyond). Perhaps that is why when Loki was eventually killed several films later in the middle of his redemption arc during the opening scene of "Infinity War," the heartbreak seemed to extend beyond the edges of the frame and into the real world.

The exceptionally fun 2017 film "Thor: Ragnarok," which immediately preceded "Infinity War," saw Loki forced to confront his past and make a decision regarding his future. The death of his father and the return of Hela (Cate Blanchett), the Goddess of Death and the sister neither Loki nor Thor knew existed, ultimately meant the end of life as he knew it. But rather than fleeing at the first chance like everyone assumed he would, Loki accepted his place in his family and returned to his brother's side after the destruction of Asgard. Of course, he also pocketed the Tesseract before the planet was destroyed, a seemingly innocuous decision that would unfortunately lead Thanos right to him. But learning to care about something more than his own immediate wants was a redeeming moment for Loki, as was his attempt to save Thor from Thanos, so his death was both an effectively heartbreaking moment that resonated with fans while serving as a harbinger of what was to come.

It also felt like closure, so when a past version of Loki popped up in "Avengers: Endgame" when Tony, Cap, and Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) traveled to 2012, it was a pleasant surprise. That the new series "Loki" follows this branched-reality version of the character and won't erase the character's original narrative arc is what makes the show such an intriguing new chapter. When the show premieres, Loki hasn't gone through any sort of character evolution. He is still the angry man who tried to force all of humanity to kneel before him in a desperate attempt to find his place in the world. He has yet to go through the events of his mother's death or the destruction of Asgard. He's a man out of time, a man without a home. And it's the chaotic, still-in-progress nature of Loki and the inability to guess what he might do when an organization like the Time Variance Authority, which is dedicated to order, tries to force him to do what they say that makes this new chapter so exciting.

Each episode of the show, which also stars Owen Wilson as Mobius M. Mobius and Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Judge Ravonna Lexus Renslayer, will see the character travel through time and space on a mission to restore order to the timeline. But will this Loki follow the same path as the man we know and love? Or will this version make different choices without Thor by his side? More importantly, will he find what he's looking for?

Loki is a man driven by insecurity and an ongoing struggle with his identity, though he deftly covers up his deficiencies with a devious wit and charm. The constantly shifting logo in the show's trailer represents both the character's shapeshifting ability as much as the idea that he doesn't know where he belongs or who he is yet. And although the beats of such a character arc are hardly new territory for Hollywood — you could argue they've even been done to death at this point — the potential for greatness still exists as Loki remains pleasantly unpredictable. It means anything can happen, and with Hiddleston promising a show that is unlike anything Marvel has ever done, there's no reason to believe Loki the man and "Loki" the show won't continue to endure and evolve even beyond this first season. After all, he certainly has the staying power.

"Loki" premieres Wednesday, June 9 on Disney+.

[luna-rainbow]

tfatws 1.04 character commentary

Wow, this episode was painful to watch. It was a group of fundamentally decent people being roundly unpleasant in the name of their own idea of justice.

What was nice about this particular episode was that it culminated in a clash between multiple different viewpoints that manage to stay consistent with their character.

If you stan any of the characters, now is the time stop reading. Almost everyone did something less than stellar in the last 2 episodes, although I feel like a lot of it is a script issue.

PS: I'm so glad Sam explained what TT was. Is this in common use in certain parts of America, or amongst certain ethnic groups? I've seen people so offended by Bucky not knowing it, but I've never heard this.

Bucky: as much as I love him, I'm glad to see his crappy decision to break Zemo out come back to bite him. Yes, his history gives valid explanation for why he does stupid things, but he needs someone to put their foot down and give him repercussions when he's crossed the line. As beautiful as that scene in the beginning with Ayo was, it was also a vivid explanation of exactly how awful his betrayal of their kindness was. T'Challa was willing to pit Wakanda against the world to give Bucky peace (a reminder of T'Challa's incredible compassion at the end of Civil War), and Bucky tramples over their peace by going on a world trip with their king's murderer. Not cool. It's also incredibly bold of him to assume he and Sam will have full control of the situation (against a dozen super soldiers) and ensure Zemo doesn't slip away.

Ayo: the thing about teaching repercussions, particularly to someone whose mental health may make it difficult for them to unpick the nuances, is to make it specific to the insult. She was completely right to call Bucky out for his betrayal, but to punish him at a time when he is pleading for her to have a dialogue, when he is defending Walker on Sam's bidding and not Zemo, complicates the message. Of course, she's not obliged to cater for his feelings, but the way she has done this may not get her the lesson she wants him to learn. Not informing Bucky about their ability to instantly disable him is a can of worms I'm not sure the MCU was ready to open...but also fairly characteristic for a nation that spent most of its history hidden from the outside world. The rapid way the conversation with Walker escalated into a fight, particularly when both parties wanted Zemo locked up, was another failure to engage in communication. Was it in character? Yes. Was it cool to see them fight? Hell yeah. Was it great judgement? ...Nope, if they just talked, they'd have Zemo in chains by now.

Sam: Sam handled the negotiation with Karli beautifully, but I want to see how the script pans out over the next 2 episodes. So far, my primary concern with his character is that he is too soft with people he sympathises with. Him allowing Bucky to drag him into Zemo's mess aside, I am also not seeing any hint of him addressing the fact that Karli needs to face consequences for her violent actions. Young and idealistic is not a free pass to crime and murder, although to be fair, their conversation had only just begun. The other issue with the Sam and Karli dynamic is that the story provides nothing concrete about her beliefs, her values or her goals. It's not clear what she actually envisages as the perfect world, so it makes it hard for us to believe that her vision is better. There is a lot of resentment, and people motivated by resentment often isn't much different to people motivated by vengeance, so it was almost disappointing to see Sam say that she is different to villains like Zemo.

Karli: Sam connected with her for a moment, but she then uses his goodwill to separate him from Walker so that she can murder Walker for symbolism's sake. She also uses Sam's civilian family as barter, which is a dick move towards someone who genuinely makes an effort to understand you. Running away like kids who accidentally broke a window when they killed Lemar highlights she doesn't have the nerves to carry through with her vision. It must be much easier to blow up a bunch of people chained inside a building, than to watch someone die in front of you at your hands. Her approach and plan is immature with a tinge of adolescent overconfidence, and I can only see things going downhill from here as authorities escalate their efforts against her.

John: A perfect demonstration of how minor character flaws can become magnified under stress and have major ramifications. In several conversations with Lemar, we see that he does consciously try to align himself for good, but he is highly strung, impatient, and arrogant. He overcompensates for his anxiety with dismissiveness and aggression. These flaws were what brought him down. Remember though that arrogance, impatience and aggression aren't exactly exclusion criteria for MCU superheroes (Tony? Thor? Strange?). This would have been made for a great superhero origin, but the narrative framing made him a deranged antagonist.

Zemo: Can we give this guy a gold star for being the only one on the team who was focused and efficient enough to get their original mission accomplished? And unlike may other villains, he did this with minimal collateral damage. Truly deserving of an award.

[amarriageoftrueminds]

you added your tags after i wrote the ask. i agree with the fact that sam's writing is inconsistent at times (although you could also say that about many characters), but what i mean is that sam is under no obligation to be a shoulder for bucky to cry on or to give him advice or anything of the sort. he is/was a counsellor, but thats not all there is to him. in civil war tony came to him "as a friend" and sam trusted him because tony had admitted he was wrong about zemo and said he wanted to help steve. sam maybe feels guilty about leading tony to siberia, but its not his fault in any way. if we consider fatws, we could also say that bucky has been rude af to sam about the whole shield thing, had been ignoring sam's attempts at communicating with him, and has been a real bad friend during those 6 months. so why should sam be the "bigger person" and extend that empathy towards bucky? sam's hurting too and has his own trauma and his own problems to deal with. this isnt to start a fight or anything and i know most of this can be attributed to bad writing, but i still think that that "criticism on bad writing" can just be unfair interpretation. anyway take care have a good night.

Yeah I guess the tags were prophetic huh. 😅

Those points about Bucky's standoffishness are sound, and certainly more ticks to put in the 'why these guys aren't actually friends, as they've been written' column.

(Except the points about resisting communication; I haven't rewatched the show but if that's based on the phone thing then Bucky's flip phone, he showed the therapist, with unanswered texts from Sam, was a fake, because he had another smartphone he didn't show her. I can't remember where any other mentions of communication came up.🤔 Ugh. It’s too late at night for me to think.)

It's bad writing of Bucky, too; to have him be hostile, do a random volte-face as soon as Sam has a mission, and then that makes his (let's be honest, Seb Stan's breaking-character) heart-eyes look even more out of left field at the end.

And the bad writing angle on Sam, then (Sam as a counselor of vets, I mean, someone with a natural inclination to help people heal; because why else did he become a medic?) Becomes: 'we've got this character with a really specific skill set, volunteering to help find a character, who really needs someone with that specific skill set in their life, but then we're not going to do anything with that.'

It's Chekhov's Gun never being fired. Like putting an artist character together with a character who models for artists and then never having either of them paint or model. 

Yeah, of course, there's more to the artist than just painting models, and they’re not obligated to paint them just because they’re a model, but then why put them with a model at all? What was the point? 

Just for them to be like ‘oh, I need X?’ ‘I do X...’ and then stare at the camera like they’re on the office.

If they'd just said Sam was an airman, or a test pilot alone; not a counsellor of vets of any kind (and especially not that he had lost a friend in a fall, the way Bucky was lost) they wouldn't be setting up that expectation of one leading naturally onto the other; and he and Bucky could be as horrible to each other as they liked without it making one look like they’re not good at what we’re told is their job!

(It’s like if Wanda said ‘I can tell people are good with my mind-reading power’ but then was immediately irrationally unfriendly to someone we knew was good. We’d be like ‘but wait, didn’t she say telling people are good is her specific power??’)  

Bad storytelling/writing...

[carol-effing-danvers]

Steve Rogers is a Monster

Yeah, that’s a hell of a title, isn’t it? Strap in, it only gets worse from here. 

(click here if you’d prefer to read this on AO3)

Forewarning, if you enjoyed the epilogue for Endgame, this particular essay is not for you - and no, I am not bashing the Steve/Peggy shippers, you are beautiful human beings who make the fandom brighter and I’m happy that at least someone in this fandom got the ending they wanted.

Additional warning: if you expect this to be another Civil War debate, you will also be disappointed. There has never been a measurement invented that can adequately describe how much I loathe the verbal dick measuring contest that seems to pass for human interaction between Tony Stark and Steve Rogers in this franchise. It’s not funny or entertaining - it’s exhausting, uncomfortable, and frankly it’s rather lazy writing.

This is about the very specific way that the epilogue in Endgame completely changed the way the character of Steve Rogers can be interpreted, and I don’t just mean the very illogical and contradictory way that time travel is explained, both in the movie itself and the fact that the writers and directors have two completely different views on how that worked out. 

I mean that the choice made by Steve Rogers in the very last minutes of that movie alters the way I view each and every one of his actions starting from The First Avenger and that alteration is exactly what I want to talk about, because whether you view it as deserving or not, what Steve does at the conclusion of Endgame was the most selfish thing humanly possible. Time is a thief, but somehow Steve managed to steal even more than Time.

Side note here: I understand that I am a completely biased Stucky shipper, a friend to Barnes and Noble, a Starbucks aficionado - sorry. Anyway, I’ve always believed that Steve and Bucky were destined blah blah blah, but I was never expecting a Stucky ending. Disney wasn’t going to do that, and I knew that, I wasn’t bothered that Steve and Bucky weren’t doing the smoochies by the end. But Bucky’s facial expression during those last minutes was gut-wrenching. Like...I have no idea what kind of cues the script and directors gave him, but in the future, please don’t ask Sebastian Stan to look sad unless you want soul-crushing devastation. It’s not Seb’s fault, his features are just arranged that way - but the fact that the editing staff allowed Sam to be sad though elated to be entrusted with the Shield and Bucky looked like his soul was being physically torn out of his body was an… interesting choice. 

Other side note: if you’re writing about time travel, I’m begging y’all to get your facts straight. Or just don’t write about time travel. It almost always sounds better on paper than it does on screen and it means that you’ve opened doors to more questions than you’ve probably got the answers for. I know this was about trying to set up the idea of the multiverse, I get that, but there were better and less messy ways to do that, and I know that because I’ve done it before. @Marvel: Let me write you a six-way orgy you fucking cowards~

By going back in time, Steve robbed Peggy of the future that would have been hers - not only that, he’s robbed her of even the chance of making the choice between those futures, because you honestly could not tell me with a straight face that Steve told her the complete truth of what he had done and she would be okay with him alternating the very course of the future. It doesn’t help his case that he has a history of not disclosing truths that he knows will be painful or inconvenient for other people in his life.

He robbed his loved ones - Sam, Bucky, Wanda - of the years they would have spent with him. Sure, he ‘came back’ after Peggy passed away, but they are adults in the prime of youth who knew him sixty years ago in his own time and he is an old, old man who has lived an entire life completely separated from them. He is practically a stranger with a name they know, but a history that no longer belongs to any of them - not even his oldest friend. They have him back, but judging from his age, they’ll be lucky to get even ten more years with him. Assuming of course, that any of them can stand to speak to him - I certainly couldn’t blame them if they tell him to go to hell and take his dad jokes with him. 

Steve has stolen away their friend and dropped off an elderly and dying near-stranger in his place, and this is treated by the writing (and the majority of the acting) as a wild and unexpected but not tragic event. 

Is it really that unexpected, though?

I recall seeing a Game of Thrones essay on Daenerys across my dash (I’m sorry, love, I don’t recall who you are since it’s not a fandom I’m in, but if someone knows who wrote that, please post the link!) which detailed how her ending in the series was foreshadowed many times by her penchant for bloody killings and her habit of surrounding herself with her own fawning friends.

Months after reading that, I had the thought: though Steve is never really shown thinking about Peggy after Civil War, except in a few scattered scenes in Endgame, was this foreshadowed? Whether you believe that his actions are justified or not, what Steve does is still, in the end, selfish at its very heart, and Steve Rogers is not a selfish person. 

Oh no, my dear friends and readers. Because taking this action has solidified and clarified Steve Rogers as the biggest and most selfish asshole in this whole universe.

Steve does not do the right thing, Steve does the thing that will most make him feel better. The fact that this often happens to be the right thing in the end is more the result of happy coincidence than any special sort of moral authority that the man holds. 

Rescuing Bucky Barnes and his fellow captives in a prisoner of war camp from being experimented on by an insane Nazi eugenicist? That was not a moral stand, that was endangering himself, Peggy Carter, and Howard Stark because he couldn’t handle the reality of his best friend being killed in war.

Sacrificing himself by putting the Valkyrie down in the Arctic Circle? That was not about sparing human lives, that was about Steve seeing his friend die right in front of him and not being able to deal with the grief. There were ways he could’ve prevented the plane from killing people without killing himself.

Trying to make Bucky remember who he was? And later on, saving him from the government agencies who wanted to hunt him down? Although, arguably, that last one is also just good common sense - Steve was already shown that government agencies could and were corrupted by HYDRA and he’d also seen how dangerous the Winter Soldier could be when unleashed. 

Steve did, I think, truly believe that this was the right thing to do, but it was also about keeping his connection - his very last, since Peggy had descended into dementia caused by Alzheimer’s before she ultimately died - to a past that for him, was only months or years ago, rather than decades. In some ways, this is completely understandable - Bucky might be the very last person left alive who truly knows who the real Steve Rogers is, because the rest of these people only know Captain America and we are consistently shown through multiple movies how uncomfortable this makes him.

This gets...considerably less and less understandable as we are shown Steve’s growing relationships with Natasha, Sam, Wanda - even Sharon, though she barely gets any screen time and they share the most awkward kiss I’ve ever seen - and indeed, what might be the most uncomfortable kiss in cinema history.

Side Note 3: This is made even more awkward by the director’s choice to have two of Steve’s friends watching them the whole time - seriously, who even does that? Why would you make them do that? Only sociopaths make out with their friends staring at them like that. It’s so fucking creepy - and don’t even get me fucking started on the fact that she’s also apparently his own niece. AHHHHH!

But we are shown, over and over again, that Steve is capable of building close meaningful relationships with people in the present. They don’t know his whole history, but they do know Steve Rogers rather than Captain America and they care about him deeply. 

Side Note 4: Notice that I don’t count Tony Stark among those people - despite this strangely persistent narrative that the various writers and directors tried to sell to the audience, Tony and Steve were not friends. They were never friends. They were colleagues at best, but these were two men who neither liked nor understood each other very well, but had to work together. And sometimes that’s okay, too. (Oh dear, I just gave the Stony fans a fit too, didn’t I? Sorry, guys. Enemies to Lovers is a great trope, I support you!)

But let’s set aside Steve’s gross betrayal of the people who loved him. We’ll also ignore the question of whether the motive for these good actions has tainted the actions themselves. Because even without questioning these, the conclusion of this story arc still transforms Steve into the biggest monster this franchise has. 

The very fundamental way that the writers and directors can’t agree on how the time travel mechanics in their own story work mean that Steve has just done one of two things and they range from shady and very questionable to absolutely fucking horrific. 

The first, that he’s created his own alternate universe to exist in, is morally dubious at best. Even the people who support this theory and liked the ending seem to feel that it wasn’t necessarily a ten out of ten on the moral goodness spectrum. They’ll say things like ‘he deserved to have his happy ending’. Even that phrasing seems to acknowledge that doing this was the opposite of the right thing. It just considers doing the wrong thing as being justified rather than horrifying. 

But let’s examine this first idea for a minute - even this, the more innocent of the two implications, means that rather than really processing his grief or dealing with the repeated tragedies and losses that have occured in his life, even as he was running group therapy sessions and grief counseling, Steve Rogers chose to escape his current life by creating an alternate universe that specifically allows he himself to live out his own fucking fantasies of the way his life should have turned out. 

That, in case you are not aware, is wildly fucked up. I thought I was playing pretty fast and loose with Steve’s characterization when I turned him into an extremely polite serial killer but as it turns out, I clearly just wasn’t setting the bar high enough, because that’s somehow even more fucked up than being an undercover child soldier with a small sadistic streak. 

Hm, and now I feel I should have been more creative there...

The second, and even more horrifying option, is that this older Steve Rogers has been in this world the whole time, watching as things unfolded just as we’ve seen over the past decade, taking ‘the slow way’ through time. 

Side Note 5: I do kind of understand why you would do it this way, because that’s really cool and shocking when you say that! Until you think about it for longer than three seconds and suddenly you realize…

Everything that has happened here, every tragedy and downfall these people experienced, happened because Steve Rogers lived his happily ever after with his beautiful wife and did absolutely nothing to stop it. He got to fuck Peggy Carter and watched as his wife built an empire of intelligence networks, knowing that her efforts were completely in vain because her agency was rotten to the core and he never told her.

Every horrifying act committed by HYDRA under the guise of SHIELD was permitted through Steve Rogers’ negligence. And that’s just the wider big-picture worldview, large and shocking, but not personal. 

What about the people that Steve claims to actually care about? 

This means that Steve lived his whole life in contentment with his wife and children while his best friend was physically and psychologically tortured for over seventy years and just...let that go. 

He allowed one friend to murder another in the nineties, when the Winter Soldier was sent after Howard and Maria Stark. Then their child was being advised by a greedy self-interested warmonger who paid terrorists to drag him off to be tortured and slaughtered, and Steve did nothing about that, either. 

Bruce Banner was exploited, experimented on, and made into a monster against his will in the failed pursuit of recreating what was done to Steve, resulting in billions of dollars in damage and dozens or even hundreds of lives lost, and Steve allowed that to happen, too. 

Like Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanov was physically and psychologically tortured for others to use her as a living weapon - except that this was probably happening to her since early childhood, and a man her future self loved and trusted implicitly did nothing to save her from this upbringing. 

The Maximoff twins are shown to have not wealthy but loving parents who are murdered in front of them and they both endure days of laying in the rubble of their ruined apartment, wondering if the bomb in their living room would go off and kill them. Later, they are taken in by HYDRA, experimented on, and recruited as child soldiers to the cause when they show signs of having supernatural powers. They start a series of events that result in the destruction of a major city and the loss of what is probably thousands of lives. Pietro is murdered while trying to help the Avengers to stop this, and Wanda suffers the loss of the very last living person she loved. None of these things seem to have bothered Future Steve. 

Steve “I can’t sit on the sidelines when I see a situation go sideways” Rogers, planted himself on that fucking sideline and observed for nearly eighty years as friends, colleagues, and his own wife were lied to, brainwashed, tortured, vilified, and hunted down like animals.

And then there Steve Rogers himself - not the Endgame Steve Rogers, the Steve Rogers who brought down a Nazi plane and will lie beneath the ice for seventy years while everything he knows disappear (mostly) innocent of these horrors, the life he would’ve lived stolen from him by a stranger with his name and his face from another universe.

What I’m saying here is that if you consider this idea for any amount of time, it took Steve Rogers less than ten minutes to become the most evil and disturbing figure in the entire MCU, only (not really tho) contested by Thanos himself. 

Gross and poorly reasoned libertarian ethics aside, Thanos genuinely believes that he did what he did for the sake of the entire population. It’s made fairly explicitly clear that Steve didn’t do this for anyone but himself. 

Call me crazy, but if everyone you know needs to suffer and multiple planet-wide devestations have to happen in order for you to get your happy ending, you might be the bad guy. 

Maybe I’m just old-fashioned?

[vancafreader]

Fine Art Comics of Canada: Sixties to Seventies - Heart of London, Snore & More by Robert Dayton

Part One: The Heart Of London

There was a time where artists were making vast ripples away from Toronto and other outsized hubs. London, Ontario was such a place, all eyes were on it in the late 60’s and not Toronto. The Heart Of London comic book from 1968 was actually an exhibition catalog, an overview of the art that was happening there at the time. Organised by The National Gallery of Canada, this exhibition traveled from London to Toronto, Kingston, Edmonton, Victoria, Charlottetown and, of course, The National Gallery H.Q. itself in Ottawa.

This catalog/comic book consisted of fumetti, comics done using photos for the images. Fumetti was most prominently used in the 60’s by Harvey Kurtzman in Help and Playboy, prolifically in numerous Mexican comic book melodramas, and in Italian comics featuring the masked master criminal Satanik. Heart Of London’s particular fumetti is further stylized by heavily contrasted processing causing colours so bright that they make everything heightened artifice, buzzing as if emanating from a higher plane of being.

Cover of the Heart Of London catalogue

The Heart of London logo in Pepto-Bismol pink is rendered somewhere between Archie and underground comix titles. Above it, The Comics Code of Authority symbol -a comic book mainstay of the day implying that the work is of safe moral quality- has been altered to “National Gallery of Canada”, the institution that made this comic book and exhibition happen. The cover features what appears to be London public workers, perhaps? These men in yellow hard hats casually stand in front of a store with a Coca-Cola logo also coloured Pepto-Bismol pink, Pop Art style, at the city’s main intersection in what very well may be the heart of London.

The comic opens with a quote placed above a looming Brutalist parking lot, huddling various small businesses below it. This quote contains the phrase “heart of London” but it is rather self-deprecatingly not about London, Ontario but London, England in World War One. Sharing a name with London, England has often made this Ontario city the butt of many a joke, ie. “I live in London… (long pause) Ontario” with its population being just over 200,000 in 1968. Named in 1793 by Lord Simcoe, Upper Canada’s first Lieutenant-Governor known for starting the abolition of slavery, he was also fervently British, his vision for Canada was for it to be like England which he looooved, desperately (but stiffly) wanting this particular London to become Ontario’s capital. Alas, Toronto was chosen instead. Related, always related to everything: the term “cosmic consciousness”, the higher state of consciousness, was coined in London in 1872 by Richard Bucke, a psychiatrist and head of The Asylum For The Insane, after he received a blinding vision, illuminating him. Besides being active in asylum reform, Bucke was heavily involved in the arts -the vision occurred after an evening spent reading Romantic poetry as well as poems by Walt Whitman, who he later befriended. Yes, London, Ontario is an eccentric place.

The artists involved in the Heart Of London show were part of what was known as “London Regionalism”, a loose-knit movement of artists who were adamant about residing in London, away from Toronto or New York. Artist Greg Curnoe helped establish some of the very first artist-run centres there. He was an early member and huge proponent of CARFAC, a Canadian organisation that fights for artists to get paid and paid fairly for their work. CARFAC was founded in London by Heart Of London artists Jack Chambers and Tony Urquhart -along with Kim Ondaatje.

Besides Curnoe, Chambers, and Urquhart, the eleven artists in Heart Of London included John Boyle, Bev Kelly, Murray Favro, Ron Martin, David Rabinowitch, Royden Rabinowitch, Walter Redinger, and Ed Zelenak. They are all profiled in fumetti form talking about their practice through speech balloons and captions, along with quick biographical details. Many of these artists were known for their inventiveness, they were influenced by a variety of subject matter -including comic art- without falsely delineating these influences into false boxes of high or low art. They didn’t just make work in the visual art field either. Along with a Hart Of London work-on-paper, Chambers made an experimental film with the same name in 1970. This film intensely shows brutal shots of an abattoir in Spain interspersed with London scenes; it has been described by Stan Brakhage as “one of the greatest films ever made.”  Both Curnoe’s Heart Of London painting from 1967 and Jack Chambers’ 1968 work-on-paper Hart Of London are in the show.

Noted curator and historian Judith Rodger told me that Curnoe’s Heart Of London piece depicts The Forks Of the Thames downtown, “arguably the heart of London” near many of the artists’ studios with Greg’s studio as the main hub or heart of it all. As for the idea of a comic book catalog, it was a mystery until Rodger guided me to Katie Cholette’s PhD thesis Memory and Mythmaking: the role of autobiography in the works of Jack Chambers and Greg Curnoe which states that it was the idea of William Bragg, assistant to the director of The National Gallery’s extension services. Cholette’s paper quotes Bragg from the Sept 29, 1968 New York Times’ Arts Notes column, “…The idea was to make a kind of scrapbook, to talk as a group, not individuals. Their work is kind of echoed by the comics—it’s really their bag […] Everyone likes to read comics once in a while, anyway.” Due to its uniqueness, the catalog garnered a lot of press for the show. Beverley Lambert (Bev Kelly in the show) says, “I think we all thought it was pretty neat and it was funny. It got people’s attention.”

When I talked to artist John Boyle about this comic book catalog, he said right away, “It’s too bad that Greg Curnoe isn’t with us anymore, because he was really interested in comic books. And he always did comic book or comic-like drawings from the time he was a little kid.” In the book Greg Curnoe Life And Work, author Judith Rodger’s description of his 1963 painting Myself Walking North In the Tweed Coat could be ascribed to many of his works. “The flat, vivid colours; schematic outlines; and text all come from his love of the comic book.” As well as the inclusion of the name of the newspaper strip Mary Worth in the piece. Another colourful painting casually inserts Dick Tracy into the frame as a representative of one of his interests. Curnoe’s series of cut-out collages were often shaped into cartoony and anthropomorphic forms.

Curated by Pierre Théberge at The National Gallery, Boyle readily notes, “Both Curnoe and Chambers talked up all the other artists who were around in London, and ended up persuading Théberge to have a group show to get a sense of the whole London art scene.”

The comic book itself doesn’t give William Bragg’s name at all, nada. The designer is credited: Roger Duhamel, FRSC, Queen’s Printer and Controller of Stationery, a federal government official, as well as the design firm: Eccleston + Glossop International. All of the photos, however, were done by the late Don Vincent, of whom Boyle says, “He was a friend of ours, of all of us. And a really terrific photographer. And he documented the whole London scene as it unfolded taking photographs all the time of everybody in this show and just of London, his whole life was photography.” Vincent’s work also appeared in 20 Cent Magazine, a delightfully scrappy local art magazine started in the mid-60’s with many of the people in the show, including Boyle and Curnoe, contributing writings and drawings. 20 Cent Magazine sold for 25 cents, ha! Vincent also photographed The Nihilist Spasm Band who are regarded as the first noise-rock band; this amazing, mind-blowing, intense and milk-spurtingly funny act was founded by the late Greg Curnoe, with Boyle and Favro (playing unique guitars that he builds himself) as still very active members over fifty years later. They are unique cultural ambassadors bringing such songs as “No Canada” to the world, having performed in Japan and in Vancouver at The Western Front with poet George Bowering guesting on guitar, and have had a documentary made about them by the late noise artist Zev Asher.

In one of Heart Of London’s comic book panels about Boyle an early issue of the four color MAD sneaks its way in. I asked him if he read MAD, “Yeah. Although that is from the designer. I read MAD, although not madly.”

A very young Boyle states in one of his panels, “The day I can truly defile myself in public, I will have accomplished everything, and I will no longer have a need to paint.” Reflecting today he says, “I still think that actually, and I think I may have succeeded. Because I do still have the need to paint. But I don’t have the need to show it anymore, or to get applause or approval from anyone. And I don’t know how that arose in me. But I kind of had a fair amount of attention and approval and acceptance and shows in fancy places and meeting important people and pleasing art administrators. And I kind of reached the conclusion that most of them aren’t worth pleasing and their opinion was not as good or not as important as the opinions of other people that I happen to know. And I thought they made a lot of mistakes and people that they chose to support. And also, their approval was very fickle. They were very fickle about it because as soon as fashions would change, their eyes were directed elsewhere and the people they thought were geniuses today were no longer geniuses tomorrow. I did kind of lose my enthusiasm for the art world, but not for painting. So, I was mistaken.”

The final pages of this catalog feature a few reproductions of pieces from the show itself, including Bev Kelly’s window paintings which, with its window panels, adapt quite easily to the comic book form, comparable to an ornate and mysterious painted comic page. The layout, however, was a bit fast and loose with one of her works being printed sideways. In her fumetti section she says, “These windows aren’t ‘real’ windows, they are still paintings. They don’t have sashes and you can’t see through them. A real window is to look through, these are to look at.” Painted on canvas, the window pieces used lumber to make the frames of the paintings, carved to look like the ribbed mouldings of window frames.

Bev Kelly was the sole woman in the show and when I asked her about this she said, “I’m very happy that they didn’t concentrate on this issue that I was the only woman. I didn’t want to be known as an artist because I was a woman.” Having recently moved to London from Saskatchewan with her husband, they were warmly welcomed by Curnoe and she would go see The Nihilist Spasm Band play every week at The York Hotel. Her first solo show was at The 20/20 Gallery in London.

She spent the first two years of her life in Biggar, Saskatchewan where the signs read, “New York Is Big, But This Is Biggar.” Being in London changed her notions of places like New York being the absolute cultural mecca. Beverley says, “There was a really vibrant cultural community there. You know what a regionalist Greg was. He really believed, as a lot of writers do, that you should write about what you know, or you should do your art about what you know, including where you live and so on. And, of course, when I started on the windows that was right out where I was living. The first ones were of my house and then I walked around and took pictures of various houses that I thought looked interesting. When I got a studio in London above one of the businesses downtown I used some of the windows there as inspiration for my works. And then when I went back to Saskatchewan, I was very into that, looking around at what is there where you live. I even got a grant to travel around small-town Saskatchewan and look at the local -in air quotes- ‘folk art’ or untrained artists, let’s say, just painting odd things on their house or their property or whatever. So, I went and I did interviews, took pictures of them, and I imagine I must have produced some kind of a report on it because I probably had to for my grant. So that led me into being more observant and looking more at where it’s from and what is around you and that you don’t have to go to some huge, big place to find art.”

Bev Kelly was her married name and she returned to using her original name, Beverley Lambert in the 1970’s. Lambert did a series of three large lithographs for International Women’s Year in 1975 on women’s issues dealing with real news stories that happened on the prairies. Many of these prints were donated to many women’s centres across the country. She has also worked in clay doing an entire main street based on the fictional Saskatchewan town in the humour book Sarah Binks by Paul Hiebert. Beverley Lambert currently resides in St. John’s, Newfoundland where she makes art and is active as a conservator.

Flip the comic over and it is the same but in either French or English depending on where you first started reading!

Boyle comments, “Last night, my wife and I were looking at the Heart of London catalog. She was amazed that this was a National Gallery touring show with a lot of artists who became major artists in the country. And it looked like they were trying to spend as little money as possible by making this skinny little comic book-like thing on newsprint and I think there’s a large measure of truth in that. Because, again, I remember when Greg Curnoe had a big one-man exhibition retrospective at The National Gallery and the catalogue that they did for him was kind of a minimal thing. It was like a paperback book with one colour reproduction and a number of inferior black and white reproductions and basically a list of artworks in the show. And in the same year, The National Gallery did a big one-man exhibition of Donald Judd, the American sculptor, and his catalogue was a huge coffee table book that weighed about 15 pounds and was three inches thick and loaded with colour from beginning to end. And that just, I think, represented a specifically Canadian problem.” When I mention this to Hairy Who member Art Green he responds, “Well, of course, because they’re trying to impress their betters in New York, so you get a job at The Whitney or The Museum of Modern Art. Canada has been an incubator for museum directors since forever.”

Hairy Who catalog page by Art Green, courtesy of the artist

This style of catalog for Heart Of London corresponds nicely with The Hairy Who, another such grouping of artists around that time who were part of “The Chicago Imagists.” Their three Chicago art shows starting in the mid-60’s were accompanied by comic books that also doubled as exhibition catalogs. The Hairy Who weren’t very aware of the underground comics scene then just barely getting started, they chose this method out of creative necessity, printing a glossy catalog was cost prohibitive. Green explains, “And the printing was expensive and not very good. And we didn’t want to have a show that was called ‘Six Recent Graduates’ or something unexciting like that. And so, we realised we all liked comics and we all knew how to do colour stripping because we’d taken silk-screening courses, we figured out we could do it. And it was cheap.”

Delineating further, The Hairy Who made playful art inspired by a wide range of neat stuff. The London artists were well aware of The Hairy Who. In fact, The Hairy Who were even going to show in London at The 20/20 Gallery. Boyle notes, “20/20 was kind of a precursor to the art in the so-called artist run centres, most of which aren’t run by artists anymore. But anyway, it was one of the first and it was all sponsored by local people in London. And I don’t think it lasted longer than a couple of years, but it was a terrific gallery while it lasted.” Many of the artists in The Heart Of London show were active in 20/20, which lasted from 1966 to 1971. Greg Curnoe discussed the show with Hairy Who artist Karl Wirsum, who in a letter to Art Green wrote, “Well, if they go ahead and publish a comic book, that would be all right.” Green notes, “He may have thought that the 20/20 Gallery was more well-funded than it probably was. But it was on, we all agreed to do it. We were looking forward to it.” Green himself left Chicago for Canada in 1969. The 1968 Democratic Convention had transpired and as Green puts it, “Everybody was angry at everybody.” He was dissatisfied with his teaching job there as well, so when offered a job at NASCAD, the art school in Halifax, he leaped at it.

Alas, the show didn’t happen. In a letter to Art Green, Curnoe writes, “We had to cancel The Hairy Who show and a lot of us were disappointed.” Boyle notes, “I suspect that it got caught up in the death throes of the gallery. And they would have had to cancel whatever exhibitions they had coming up.”

Green notes that both London and Chicago are far enough away from the more major centres that artists can, “…be free to go their own way because there’s not much at stake partly and nobody’s paying attention. And I remember the first time I had been in London, we were driving on our honeymoon to Halifax where I got the job. And I thought, ‘I’m gonna stop here and get a Canada Dry.’ I’m driving down what’s the main street that runs north south and pulled into a corner store. And I said, ‘Do you have Canada Dry?’ ‘No, but we got America Dry.’  I have never before or since seen a bottle of America Dry. I bought it and it wasn’t as good as Canada Dry. And, and that’s not a dream. I mean, I have never seen it ever again. But that made me say, ‘Wow, this is a weird place.’”

While Green was teaching at NASCAD, Curnoe came for what Green calls, “One of his annual excoriations, if that’s a word, he would rip them up one side down the other in public, for being a Canadian art school with no Canadians teaching, hardly any, and all yanks -and it was true! And so anyway, they would invite him and it was almost like a ritual. He would be in the public, there’d be 400 students there and Greg would just rip the place apart. I had known Greg, I heard about the show and so on, and we got along fine. And afterwards he’d come up to me and say, ‘Well, how did I do?’ ‘Greg, you’re doing great, but you do realise I’m a yank’, but I agreed with him 100%.” Both Curnoe and Green commiserated on how Canadian art was neglected at the school. “If he had been in Chicago, Greg would have been a member of The Hairy Who or maybe started it. But he was more political, he had to be, and Chicago, the politics were so acidic that you wouldn’t have wanted to be to be involved in it, unless you went in full immersion. And we were decidedly unpolitical. Although we all agreed on the politics of it. We were a collective in the sense that we wanted people to collect us.” On this, Art Green is a tad glib, having made art responding to and criticizing Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara. Both Art and Greg would visit with each other in various Canadian cities: Halifax, Vancouver, Toronto. “Nobody appreciated Greg in Toronto, they went out of their way to un-appreciate him. And luckily, they did put a put up a pretty nice retrospective after he was safely gone.”

Of London, Green notes, “I think that for a period of time. I don’t know how long it was maybe a few minutes, maybe a few hours, maybe a few months? Maybe a few years. London, Ontario was most interesting art scene and literary scene in the whole world.”

The propensity for great art still ran in the water there, the stream flowed, there was a continuum and a recognizing of that history. London has some great galleries including Forest City Gallery, founded by Jack Chambers and Greg Curnoe, where The Nihilist Spasm Band plays every Monday night.

In 2013 The London Museum held the group show L.O. Today with artists Jason Mclean, Marc Bell, Jamie Q, Billy Bert Young, Amy Lockhart, Peter Thompson, and James Kirkpatrick. Many of these artists are a part of the Canadian Psychedooolic art comic movement that began in the 1990’s, captured and collected in the book Nog A Dod, edited by former Londoner Marc Bell and released by Conundrum/PictureBox. Much of the work in Nog A Dod occurred in Vancouver with a couple of these London artists relocating there, immersing easily, doing a lot of collaborative drawing and art books with other Vancouver based artists. Yes, ‘Canadian Psychedooolic’ was named after the fact by Bell, but we weren’t thinking of ourselves as a movement or a group at the time. Yet all of these art books had an unfettered comic wildness, funny, and expansively playful. And Nog A Dod got out there, impacting and influencing a lot of artists the world over. Furthering the connective tissue, in 2003, The Western Front in Vancouver put on an art show featuring ‘documents and ephemera’ from musical acts The Nihilist Spasm Band, The All Star Schnauzer Band (a somewhat fake band as mail art project involving Bell, Mclean, and Thompson) and July Fourth Toilet, a Vancouver based group that often involves many Nog A Dod and Nog A Dod related artists, including yours truly occasionally wearing outlandish semi-functional semi-nude costumes specially designed by Jason Mclean. The show was curated by Jonathan Middleton, who is now Executive Director at Art Metropole, a Toronto based artist-run centre dealing primarily in artists’ publications.

Getting back to Greg Curnoe. Released in two parts in 1970, The Great Canadian Sonnet contained numerous images by Curnoe. Described as a “Beaver Little Book”, the format was modeled after the popular Big Little Books, distant cousins to comic books so named for being small, square and thick. Big Little Books were marketed to children and featured popular comic, cartoon, radio and film characters of the day in text-based stories with illustrations on every other page. Some Big Little Books had flip-it cartoons in the top corner so one could make the character move. With its second volume The Great Canadian Sonnet does this as well, stating “See ‘em move – just flip the pages” on the cover and, sure enough, in the corner a spot rolls up a hill-like abstract shape transforming into a medley of human faces.

Written by poet David McFadden, Curnoe riffed off lines in his text creating a great many detailed pen-and-ink drawings for the book with titles that included “Proud Possessor Of Meaningful Pain”, “One that will be Truly Loved by the Prime Minister”, and “The Empty Universe” which featured a drawing of a tin of apple juice and a packet of bird seed -the book’s drawings contained many such absurdist pairings. The Great Canadian Sonnet was published by Coach House Press who were -and still are- known for releasing all manner of experimental works including poetry, prose and beyond. Both volumes together weigh in at over 400 pages, with every other page being a drawing by Curnoe.

Many thanks to Jason Mclean, Marc Bell, and Judith Rodger for their immense help with this piece.

Thanks as well to Art Green for use of his respective artworks.

Part Two: Scraptures, Snore and More coming tomorrow, Friday, August 20!

Robert Dayton

www.robertdayton.com

www.patreon.com/CanadianGlam

[ifandomus]

Why do people like Zemo?!

Something I have been wondering about for a while now is why people like Zemo as much as they do. He even gets more appreciation than Sam, who is an incredible person (the reason isnt exactly difficult to figure out*). While Zemo is an interesting character, and he does have some good points it doesnt change that he has killed and hurt a lot of innocent people and a lot of people gloss over that fact. I can understand his motive, but I cant get past what he did.

*(Racism)

Its not suprising because white cis men usually gets away with anything they do, especially if they are charismatic, attractive and rich (like Zemo and Tony). They can kill and hurt as many people as they want, and people will still stan them and either justify what they did, or just gloss over it. And the fact that it keeps happening is a big problem. And its happening both in real life, and in at least most fandoms.

Now I am not saying that liking morally darker people is wrong. I also like some of them. What I am saying is that glossing over their bad actions is a problem. If you add in villanising other characters who havent done anything remotely that bad being critisised more, it gets really irritating.

Now lets get more into Zemo, and compare him to the other two Sokovians who wanted revenge on the avengers. (I wont really be talking about anything past civil war, or this would get very long and my ADHD can only handle so much.)

Zemo killed a lot of innocent people. I couldnt find an exact number on anything but the bombing, but it was over a dozen at least. First the bombing killed 12 people, including king T’chaka (the fact that his death is so glossed over is not lost on me*1). Then he kills Dr. Theo Broussard. Then he uses Bucky*2 to kill and injure an unknown number of people at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre. None of these people had anything to do with his motive! The only ones I can excuse him for is Karpov and the other 5 winter soldiers. But I cant look past the rest.

1*(Racism and Xenophobia)

2*(Zemo uses Buckys body without his consent. The fact that some people ships them sickens me!)

Now for his motive. This part I can understand. He lost his father, wife and son. I cant even imagine how painful that must be! However that does not give him the right to hurt innocent people! I can understand why he would blame the avengers, but the only ones among them who were responsible in any way were Tony, Bruce and maybe a tiny bit Wanda (even though Tony having a bad nightmare would have had the same results). The main one responsible is of course Ultron. No one but Tony and Bruce knew about creating Ultron, because if they did they would have stopped it. It was actually a betrayel of Thor. When Ultron broke free they did everything they could to stop him and save people. Its not their fault that they werent able to save everyone. They did everything they could and without them Ultron would have killed everyone on earth. So it makes sense that he would blame some of the avengers, but most were completly innocent and risked their lives trying to save as many as possible. And in Pietros case actually gave their life.

Wich brings me to two other people who also wanted revenge, the Maximoff twins. Although Wanda is usually the only one of them to be held responsible (the fact that she is female and an eastern European immigrant is also not lost on me*). Now some people gloss over what she did too, wich is wrong. Dont get me wrong I love Wanda, but that doesnt mean that I cant admit that she has made some bad mistakes. Granted she feels a lot of remorse and regret wich we dont really see Zemo do. However a lot of people are villanising Wanda completly.

*(Sexism and Xenophobia)

Like Zemo the twins lost their family. Their parents were killed by a Stark missile, then they had to wait for two days with another one right by them. They couldnt move from where they were hiding, so they would have been starving and dehydrated, but all they could do were wait and hope that the missile didnt blow them up. Then they had to move to an orphanage, given the conditions in the country I cant imagine that would be a nice place. And keep in mind they were 10 years old. They got desperate and wanted to protect their country, so they end up joining hydra wich was pretending to be shield at the time. But only untill they got the power they needed to defend their country. Now the twins were younger than Zemo, and the weapon that killed their parents came from from Stark industries. So it makes sense that they would have a personal grudge. However Zemo was older, he led a Sokovians kill squad, and he is a very critical thinker. So it makes less sense for him to hold a personal grudge on most of the avengers.

For their revenge the only people the twins intentionally harmed were the avengers, unlike Zemo who knowingly killed a lot of people that he knew had nothing to do with it. The twins wanted to protect their country, while Zemo declared it a failed state. So why are the twins critisised and hated more than Zemo?!

[laufire]

i definitely think clarke is an example of a villain protagonist, and fandom’s need to see her as a hero is due to the need to see protagonists as heroes. my only stipulation is that i do think fandom is capable of acknowledging that certain protagonists are villains, but only under certain conditions. like fandom can only acknowledge a character is a villain if the story really really really explicitly frames them that way. like people are willing to acknowledge that characters like (1/2)

(a few of these seem to have been lost to this hellsite’s void, sorry :/)

walter white, don draper, tony soprano, dexter morgan, the “it’s always sunny in philadelphia” protagonists ect are horrible evil people. (although even with them, there stans who engage in ridiculous apologism, ie the “walter white did nothing wrong” crowd, but i do feel like most of the audience gets that these characters are evil? maybe i’m being to optimistic, or maybe it’s just because i avoid r*ddit lol) but i think in these cases it’s mostly because the framing is so blatant, like (2/3) 

like the writers basically have to beat you over the head with the fact that the main character is a horrible person for them to get it. but with characters like dean winchester, elena gilbert, and clarke griffin, the fandom largely sees them as good people, (who may be morally ambiguous sometimes, but only because they CAAARRRE SO MUCHHH) and i think it’s because the narrative framing is different than what it is with a character like walt. that’s not to say that the narrative always (3/?) 

frames characters like elena, clarke, dean, ect as good people. i think the narrative sometimes engages in apologism for dean/elena/clarke, and sometimes it acknowledges how terrible they are. i think that for characters like dean/elena/clarke the framing is often much subtler than for characters like walt/don/dexter/tony soprano. i also think sexism/white female fragility plays a role in how fandom perceives elena, clarke, and jessica jones are perceived by fandom (4/?).

This is all true, but I also think there are other factors at play. On is the kind of people these two groups are -I’m less familiar with some of the others mentioned above than I am with The Triumvirate of Doom LOL, but I’d say that (maybe with the exception of Don Draper? I really need to watch Mad Men one day. I remember liking the pilot) they are fundamentally different TYPES of ~bad people. Dean, Elena, and Clarke are empaths, subconcious manipulators; to different degrees of efficiency, and Dean and Clarke use hard power more than Elena, but they’re specifically people who are difficult to parse, and difficult to accuse. They’re the kind of people who trade in social graces and do it well, often coming out of shit smelling like fucking roses. The others are excused by fandom, but Walter White, Tony Soprano and Dexter Morgan’s whole deal is different.

On top of that, there’s a matter of distance. Those you mention are all from mundane worlds, worlds like out, commiting violence in a mundane way. Dean kills monsters, Clarke commits large scale genocide by levers in a distant sci-fi post apocalyptic ‘verse, Elena even has other supernatural beings commiting supernatural violence for her. I know I myself react worse to more “realistic” violence.

And regarding the ‘verses, I think we run into an issue of the perception each of these gets, the depth people are willing to assign to each of them. Nevermind that The Vampire Diaries or Supernatural have been the two most cynically honest shows about the worst of human nature I’ve yet to encounte;, for a lot of people they’re just ~silly genre shows, the first a ~silly girly show, even. The acts committed in those universe is horrifying to the extreme, heightened forms from real-world equivalents, but easy to dismiss for a lot of people because of its source. Which annoys me, ngl, because I don’t think without characters like Elena we’d get some of the female antiheroes we have now, for better or worse; or without shows like Angel for the male ones; Angel was definitely a precursor to the Tony Sopranos of tv, IMO.

There are issues with framing in each of the shows and it matters, but there have also been moments where they have been absolutely ruthless about who Dean, Elena, Clarke, etc. were at their core, and the audience insists on keeping their eyes closed to it anyway. So framing can’t be the only issue.

fandom NEEDS to see white female protagonists as good people. i think this is because of the notion of white female innocence and purity, how white cis women are seen as inherently good and kind, and needing and deserving of protection from white men. of course fandom woobifies the shit out of white male characters too, just look at dean winchester and dean winchester. however i genuinely can’t think of a example of a white female protagonist who was explicitly framed as terrible person, (5/?) 

and where most of fandom fully acknowledged her shittyness. the only real example i can think of is dee reynolds, and like that doesn’t really count because iasip is a deliberately absurd bizare sitcom where you really aren’t meant to take the characters actions seriously. the show isn’t grounded in reality and it’s not meant to be. also dee is nothing like elena or clarke, and iasip is nothing like the 100 or tvd so i’m comparing apples to oranges. (6/?) 

maybe blair waldorf from gossip girl? i actually think she has a lot in common with elena and clarke, it’s just expressed in different ways. but maybe that’s due to the fact that serena was technically the female protagonist (even if the writers blatantly favored blair), and blair was introduced to the show as an antagonist for serena. although there was a fuck ton of blair apologism in the gossip girl fandom so who knows. (8/?) 

i have seen daenerys targaryen referred to as a villain (even before the second last episode), but in her case i actually feel it’s somewhat unfair. i mean obviously burning down kings landing was a villainous act, but on the whole i see her as more of a mix of an anti-hero and an anti-villain. like of course she has done many horrible things, but she isn’t terrible in the same way elena and clarke are, like she is a different type of character than them. (10/?)

i also feel like the got fandom wasn’t as pro daenerys as the tvd fandom and the 100 fandom were of elena and clarke respectively. (maybe because daenerys shared protagonist status with the stark family?). (omg i am so sorry this ask was so long! i seriously thought this was going to be two parts, maybe three tops lol) (11/11)

I’m not too familiar with Blair and only half-familiar with GOT and its fandom, although yes, I would consider them slightly different cases than Clarke or Elena, on first sight.

White female fragility definitely plays an ENOURMOUS part in these characters’ perception. A lot of the Clarke vs. Bellamy discourse was profoundly racist, for example. And do not get me started on Jessica Jones and how the show portrayed, and the fandom received, her dynamics with black men.

[what-kinda-fuckery]

Hey so, I was one of the star struck falsettos stans that spent the forty dollars for the webinar, and I took notes (like a weirdo). So I decided I would share my funny moments and updates from the cast here!

- Host: Everyone should be keeping their audio off.

Christian: Oh alright!

Host: nO Christian not you

- Christians in Manhattan and his hair is back and he’s wearing a Superman t-shirt.

- Brandon is with his parents in NJ

- Stephanie and Brandon still love each other

- Brandon: Meat should be cooked just right

- Betsy: Stephanie are you in maple wood?

Stephanie: Well thank you for telling everyone where I am (she’s in NJ)

- Stephanie: Are you fucking kidding meee!!!

- Tracie is in LA, she looks like she’s in Costa Rica and I love her dog.

- Anthony’s VOICE IS LOW EVERYONES FREAKING OUT

they’re all talking about Anthony’s clear skin

- Andy Randy is in LA with a fresh haircut his boyfriend did it and he’s watching too much TV

Andrew: I’m watching this is America

Stephanie: SO GOOD

Andrew: SO GOOD

- Everyone’s having hard days

- Christian is acting out tracies dog’s pathetic bark and everyone’s like WHAT are you doing bc it looks like he’s about to throw up

- BETSY IS A WEEK AWAY FROM HAVINGA WHOLE CHILD

Betsy: What else do you do during a pandemic? Have a baby!

Andrew: Can I toss out another baby name? Celery.

Literally everyone: Goodnight Andrew goodbye!

- Christian is living with a girl (?) and playing board games instead of watching television

HE COOKS NOW EVERYONES PROUD OF HIM

Christian: yesterday I made pork filet en croute

Stephanie: I MADE PORK WITH SAGE AND APPLES ON WEDNESDAY

Stephanie: In mean girls they wear pink on wednesdays. In falsettos they make pork.

- I can’t get over Anthony’s voice

Again everyone returning to his literally perfect skin

- Stephanie: When watching four jews in a room in the beginning who’s in China?? I know the answer I just want to hear someone say it.

Andrew, with a thick accent: It was Bryna, in China, with a torn miniscus

- Christian: Did anything interesting make it on to the telecast between me and you? Andrew? Actually I dont remember I need to do my research.

Andrew: There’s been some strange comments about Christian and I- (AT THIS POINT IM WHEEZING)

HE MENTIONED THE TONY BONY

HE SAID IT WASNT A THING

HE DIDNT HAVE ONE

Andrew: No that’s not a thing that happened

Brandon: Andrew i want you to know that it’s okay if it was. It’s a safe space just the seven of us. (Lol)

- Bill Finn would take two steps into the room: “WROONG”

Stephanie: he wanted me to sing the end of I’m breaking down up the octave and I said #notmytrina

Brandon: #NOTMYTRINA

- Tracie what did you do during act 1

Tracie: Betsy and I sat in that dressing room for like an hour and a half

Andrew: You SANG the WHOLE SHOW TRACIE

- Betsy watched parts of the first act to feel like she was there

- Betsy sprained both her ankles at one point during the run and was a trooper anyways

Brandon reenacting Betsy limping during look look look look

Everyone dies laughing

Christians LAUGH makes me SO HAPPY

- Betsys screen is frozen like this: 🤨

Andrew: What if she went into labor??? (This is a common thread throughout the zoom)

- Anthony: I’m getting a lot of glitching so Stephanie is just like “HUH UH UH UH”

- Betsy comes back and everyone is like

YOU GUYS ITS COMING!!!

- They bought Andrew an ice cream for his birthday from the vending machine at rehearsal

- Andrew: The Hawaii crop top

Betsy: I would give anything to have that

- Tracie: it was very hard. Very precise bringing the blocks together

Brandon: Trying to be like oh my god we’re going to a funeral

Andrew: MY DEATH IT WAS MY DEATH

- fan question: What did the blocks weigh?

Stephanie: They were like thick yoga blocks. Not heavy but awkward shaped

Andrew: Significantly heavier when Anthony sat on them

Anthony: I just realized how much I got thrown around

Stephanie: Anthony were you proud of yourself? #proudofyou

Anthony: The one moment I was cringing was father and son

Christian: HERE WE GO *SLAPS TABLE*

Betsy: Anthony’s like BLAH BLAH BLAH blah my line BLAH BLAH BLAH my line BLAH BLAH

Christian: I LEAVE THE PAUSE IF YOU CANT GET IN THATS ON YOU

Anthony: I was blinking in that number like constantly

Christian: THE WHOLE THING LIKE A SALAMANDER

Oh Anthony.

- Andrew: I HAVE A STORY ABOUT CHRISTIAN BORLE. Tech for what more can i say. He was laying on me. We were shirtless in underpants under the blankets.

Christian: SLOWER

Andrew: he leaned over; He sniffed his armpit and said “I hope you like France”

EVERYONE DIES LAUGHING INCLUDING ME

Christian: i haven’t worn deodorant in 10 years true story

- Christian: i seem to remember holding our pillows and blankets pretending like we were partying on fyre island and Andrew said:

Andrew: WHATS YOUR NAME???

Christian: No no it was something like:

WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN??

Andrew: WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN???

Betsy: James lupine I feel like we’re ruining this show

- Andrew: The shenanigans were real but so was the sadness

Stephanie: We’re real and we’re funny what you gonna do

- Andrew talking about how hard the show was to do: Finding some liberty, It’s a hard world to live in all the time. It was a hard time especially for Christian. I would sometimes go home and cry for no reason

Brandon: Building up emotion with nowhere to put it

Betsy: then Lesbians come in and provide all the levity

Stephanie: Although Dr. Charlotte brings in horrible news

Tracie: Everything’s beautiful at what more can i say and I’m like not so fast

- Tracie always had a funny thing to say

- Who broke character the most on stage?

Anthony Stephanie and Christian

Anthony: it was when I said “I don’t want a bar mitzvah” and I spit in your face a lot and you went like *puts arms up* and someone at stage door was like very condescending like it’s not professional

Christian: Oh my bad we’re people sorry

- Stephanie wrote a line in the show “YOU HAVE PAINTINGS OF DICKS”

- James wanted her to cut off her finger during I’m breaking down

And turn around with a bandaged bloody finger

- Betsy’s nose bleeding during something bad is happening

And Tracie was like something BAD IS HAPPENING

Tracie: Christians throwing up right now

Betsy: Bloody Kleenex up the nose THE SHOW MUST GO ON

- Fan question: Stephanie how do you belt with a banana in your mouth

Christian: Practice practice practice

Stephanie: just shove it in your cheek. But Really that wasn’t supposed to happen

Anthony’s nickname in the rehearsal room was little bananas because he had to gather up all the pieces of stuff after Stephanie shoved the table over with her rear. Sometimes he didn’t have enough time to put it somewhere so he would just put the pieces of banana in his mouth and that’s where it came from

That’s why

- Andrew: Stephanie your glasses are very chic

Stephanie: Oh my gosh thank you *shocked*

- Betsy: Bill was like I’d rather DIE than change lyrics for the pbs special

FLaT aS a LaKe

- Cue everyone accidentally talking over each other and saying what at each other for 30 seconds

Christian: what? what? what?

Who is it?

What’s going on?

- If you could play anyone else in the show who would it be

Anthony said Mendel

Tracie said Mendel

Brandon said Trina

Andrew said marvin

Betsy said whizzer

Stephanie said Mendel

And I honestly couldn’t hear if Christian said anything whoops

- Brandon: If someone could at some point explain to me the Mendel eats dirt meme? People have been Asking me if Mendel eats dirt? I don’t think it’s about Trina Trina is not the dirt. I was overwhelmed. Can someone in the Q&A explain this? *A few seconds later* oh It was from a meme generator?

Christian: Greaat.

Brandon: It’s a fan fiction about Mendel eating dirt and getting aroused by it

Everyone: WHAT

- They still get fan art

Someone recreated the whole soundtrack 8bit and also with KAZOOS

- Brandon: CONGRATS CHRISTIAN ON LULOS WIN FOR LITTLE SHOP. If you haven’t seen Christian in little shop it’s revelatory I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass I have not laughed that hard in a while at the theatre

- Christian talking about little shop

Christian has a 12 inch Batman toy in his dressing room and he misses it

- Ticket prices were getting out of control before corona everyones hoping this will make a difference

Brandon and everyone think it should get more accessible

- Brandon: Hear hear I need a refill

- Stephanie: Your hair looks incredible Brandon (it did)

Christian: She’s been waiting to talk about it for 53 minutes

- Andrew: Well Betsy what I’m wondering is have you crowned yet??

Proceed everyone dying

Brandon, taking a picture of the screen: This moment will go down in history as When Betsy was asked if she was crowning

- Everyone mimicking zoom freezing by starting a sentence and freezing halfway through

- Christian: What new Steven sondheim musical are you excited about Anthony *devilish grin*

Anthony having no idea what Christian is talking about

Christian: Come on Anthony you know the answer. Ugh. The minds of the young. You’re smoking pot now aren’t you??

Christian: We have a lot of fun

- Andrew: I’m trying to get people to pay attention to me

- Christians pretending to be frozen

Cue a lot of yelling: Stephanie BRANDON STEPHANIE

NO CHRISTIAN

Everyone accusing each other of being frozen

NO YOURE FROZEN

- Andrew: Let’s all act like we’re frozen

Steph: I see Andrew acting like hes frozen

Betsy: Watching you do that is killing me

- Listening to the cast recording for the first time together

Stephanie: Why was I the a-hole that couldn’t be there???

Christian: That’s a question only you can answer

- Betsys husband came in everyones like BETSY LOOK OUT

Christian: that scared the shit out of me

- What is marvins last name and what was his line of work

Christian: we definitely said it at some point right? (They didnt) but he was in advertising. What was the last name? Gardens? O’Malley?

- Andrew: Betsys gone oh no

Betsy: I’m right here!!!

Andrew: She’s giving birth (again)

Stephanie: Betsy Wolfe is a ceiling

- Brandon: Welcome back Anthony. You’re here now.

Anthony singing merrily we roll along over Betsy trying to tell a story

Christian: STOP SMOKING POT IN YOUR BEDROOM ANTHONY

- Betsy: Steve (Steven Sondheim) comes to the door I call him steve

Into the woods is the reason Betsy is in theatre

- Betsy: Andrew was nervous singing at the tonys for Book of Mormon and he got dry mouth he sang like 😬I BELIEVE and he licked his lips so much during the song.

Brandon: Did you have a boner then too?

Andrew: GUYS DONT BE DICKS

Stephanie: It’ll be like dry mouth, boner

Andrew: BETSY YOU FUCKIN BITCH ITS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD

Stephanie: Bets maybe we should wrap it up

- Brandon sings MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

EVERYONE TELLING HIM TO STOP SINGING I took a video it was beautiful might post that later

- “Tracie Thomas from Lent!”

Tracie having stage fright

Tracie: Billy porter said “oh child we all forget the words” and walked away

- Anthony said WHO SHAT THE BED in four jews once

Anthony: That’s my contribution. Steph got her line, I got who shat the bed

- Steph: We lost andrew oh no

Christian: Um, we lost andrew ten minutes ago. Yeah when Brandon started singing

- Then Betsy sang a song by Bill Finn beautiful

- Steph: Wear your masks and eat pork on wednesdays

That was it!! I hope you enjoyed and people who were there if I got anything wrong that’s my human error it was hard to note everything I wanted to. Smooches! Byee

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #211: ... By Force of MIND!

September, 1981

THE OLD ORDER CHANGETH!

Oh hey, Dazzler, Hercules, Black Widow, Moon Knight, Angel from X-Men, Yellowjacket, Black Panther, Tigra, and Hawkeye?

Are you joining Captain America, Wasp, Beast, Thor, and Iron Man as the new Avengers?

Is this going to be the next biggest roster since the Korvac Saga?

Possibly! Jim Shooter is back and he was the guy behind that story.

Jim Shooter is very back, something the creative credits make sure you don’t miss.

“Joyfully welcome back long-time star Avengers scribe, me, Jim Shooter -- ‘cause I’m writing these credits, and, also I’m the boss!”

Charming. Non-facetiously.

It has similar energy to the ol’ Stan Lee introductions. And is probably just as much a pretense. Eh.

So the story “... By Force of MIND!” starts in the Avengers conference room.

And penciler Gene Colan sure has interesting ideas what that should look like.

We’ve seen the Avengers’ conference room a couple times in various books. They tend to have a grand conference table with assigned chairs?

Look at this one from Avengers Annual #10.

Or the one just as recently as last issue #210.

Pretty big overall. Suitably grand.

But the conference room has apparently been redecorated because it looks different. The personalized chairs are still there.

But the table is puny. It looks like the Young Avengers table at Thanksgiving. Set up off to the side for all the kids. Its dinky. It doesn’t look like all the Avengers can fit around it.

Which possibly supports Captain America’s point when he decides that the Avengers roster needs to be trimmed down to only six.

All those people on the cover are going to be really disappointed to hear this.

Captain America: “The Avengers have a habit of playing for high stakes! I believe that a lean, close-knit group is better... stronger!”

Beast goofs that they’ll need explosives to dislodge him from the team.

Also, there’s a trapeze on the roof of the conference room. Why. I mean, I know why. Your acrobatic characters need to be casually acrobatic at random times or they’ll be bummed out. But also why.

Wonder Man isn’t as bothered. Even after all this time on the team, he doesn’t feel like he’s ever really belonged here doing this hero stuff.

Vision and Scarlet Witch are selling themselves as a package deal. You get both or you get neither.

Captain America gives the Avengers some time to rest and think but they’ll reconvene at 1600 for the new roster announcement.

So there’s 9 people in or adjacent to the Avengers. Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Beast, Jocasta, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Wonder Man, and Wasp. Three are gonna have to go.

All of this possibly getting fired, gives a pretty dour attitude (except for Wasp who doesn’t seem very concerned and probably doesn’t have a reason to be. Would you want to tell Wasp that she’s fired? I wouldn’t). Beast decides to lighten things up.

By causing problems on purpose.

So Beast bounces through the crowd of Avengers, jostling them all, and stealing Wonder Man’s glasses. Who hates having his glowing eyes show.

Scarlet Witch: “What on-- !? Beast! You crazy -- !”

Beast: “Moi? Crazee? Begging your pardon, mademoiselle witch. I am merely, how you say... playful! So, like gimme some space to be a jerk in, you know? Okay?”

At least he knows he’s being a jerk??

And then he runs off with Wonder Man’s glasses, goofing all the way.

Wonder Man: “Come on, you lame-brained blue-furred buffoon!”

Beast: “Hmmf! I’ll have you know, sir, that I am a highly intelligent blue-furred buffoon. I hole a dozen PhDs! I speak fifty-three languages... but I tell you, I don’t get no respect! Wanna hear me say ‘eat my dust, jocko,’ in Latverian?”

In the face of all this buffoonery, Wasp still doesn’t really care.

She decides the done thing is to go get her hair done for the big meeting. And sure this is short notice but she’s Janet Van Dyne. She’s going to have a movie starlet’s appointment bumped for her.

Scarlet Witch reflects that maybe the reason Jan isn’t worried about the possibility of being cut is that the Avengers aren’t her whole life. She has other stuff going on. A husband. A fashion line. The fabulous existence of being Janet Van Dyne.

Jocasta comes and tries to ask Vision for advice. Even after her big focus story, she still feels like an outsider. And she doesn’t have a life outside the Avengers. So unlike her brain donor Wasp, she is very worried about getting kicked out.

Jocasta: “You’ve learned to fit in, even though you’re a robot, as I am. Please... help me to...”

Vision: “I beg your pardon, Jocasta. I am a synthezoid, not a robot! As such, I am a perfect meld of computer microcircuitry and living, synthetic flesh! In all ways I am a fully functional man! I have a wife -- who needs me now! I cannot help you with your dilemma.”

And then Vision peaces out of this conversation by flying through the ceiling. Even though he’s going to join Wanda who is in an adjacent room. Ya weird, Vision.

You’re also massively unhelpful whenever anyone asks you for advice.

This is fully the second time Jocasta has asked him for advice. At least he didn’t trash the room in an angst ‘I DON’T HAVE FEELINGS AHHHH I MISS WANDA’ tantrum this time.

Jocasta is left alone. Which basically sums up her time in this book. Poor, poor robot. She’s so lonely she goes off on an existential soliloquy right outside Vision and Wanda’s room. Which is a bit passive aggressive. But hey. Superheroes.

Jocasta: “Are you truly so much different, Vision? So much better than I? I know that my voice rings metallic... but yours is cold hollow and emotionless!”

“I have built-in sensors! I can see! I can hear! I can feel! I function well enough? Don’t I? Don’t I? What does it take to be alive?”

“Does it take warm flesh? Am I merely animated because I am made of metal? I did not choose to be what I am!”

“I am what Ultron made me! Ultron -- the evil robot nemesis of the Avengers! He made you too, Vision -- reconstructed you from a long-dead android body! Both of us rebelled against his evil! Both of us sided with the Avengers!”

“Why, then, am I less than you? Is it because you are loved... and I am alone? Ultron... loved me...”

;__;

Poor robot lady.

I do wonder why the Avengers have been so indifferent to her presence. She did come to them during a chaotic moment in the team history. Vision was based on Wonder Man who wasn’t on the team while Jocasta had to coexist with Wasp from day 1.

There’s also that while both she and Vision are angsty robots that turned against Ultron, Vision (despite his famous “even an android can cry” moment) tends to be more performative with his angsts. He sulks. He broods. He smashes furniture.

Jocasta sits quietly and sadly in the background. Makes tentative stabs at companionship but backs off without ever causing a fuss. Different socialization rules for the robot genders possibly?

The good news is that modern Jocasta has learned to assert herself a lot more. She’s been a delight in the Dan Slott Iron Man book.

Anyway. Hopefully that line about Ultron doesn’t foreshadow anything. Its going to be really dumb if Jocasta brings back Ultron because the Avengers treat her with all the attentiveness of the fridge (although she may still legally qualify as one depending on how much of the Henry Peter Gyrich’s nonsense has stuck around).

Time for a sudden, drastic tone shift!

Beast exits stage Avengers Mansion, pursued by Wonder Man.

He hides up a tree like a rocket belt isn’t something Simon has or the ability to jump hella high.

But Wonder Man takes neither of those options. Instead he karate chops the tree down in one stroke. Which is impressive but I imagine Tony Stark is going to be annoyed. That tree was part of the landscaping!

Not expecting this, Beast falls out of the tree complaining that cutting down trees is illegal in New York. Wonder Man catches him and takes his sunglasses back.

Beast: “You grabbed me! But nobody’s fast enough to do that!”

Wonder Man: “People think I’m just strong! Everybody forgets that I have instantaneous reflexes and blinding speed! To me, the world looks like its moving in slow motion!”

I feel like if Wonder Man was Actually Fast all along, he’s not been getting much use out of it, considering how often he takes dumb hits in fights.

And then Wonder Man hurls Beast into the sky.

Like. Really high into the sky.

Beast: “omigosh! omigosh! omigosh! He’s nuts! He’s crazy! He’s -- who cares about him?! I’m dead! He killed me over a crummy prank! For stealing his glasses I get to end up as a blue blotch on the street. My girlfriends won’t recognize me! I can’t look! Wait a minute! This is serious! This is for real! I’m falling at hundreds of miles per hour! Nothing can save me! I’m really going to die! Like this?! I’m going to die like this?! NO!”

Wonder Man: “Relax, Beast. You’re in good hands with Wonder Man!”

Beast: *Whuff*! You -- you caught me! But that’s like catching a bullet.”

Wonder Man: “Told you I moved quick!”

Beast: “thanks. You’re a decent guy for a common ruffian, Wondy!”

I mean, he also threw you straight up, Beast. Is it so impressive that he caught you?

But with the disproportionate response to a prank by making Beast think he’s going to horribly die, Wonder Man sort of apologizes and says he’s going to miss hanging out with Beast.

See, Wonder Man isn’t going to hang around hoping he gets to stay on the team. He’s actually decided to quit. As has been Wonder Man’s thing for a while, he just doesn’t enjoy the superhero life.

He’s always struggling with insecurity and dislike of throwing himself into deadly danger a dozen times a week.

In fact, he wasn’t too broken up when Henry Peter Gyrich kicked him off the team. Back when he got super into the idea of becoming an actor. He even said at time “If I can get used to playing roles on a stage - maybe I’ll feel more comfortable in my role as superhero!”

Except, as we saw in the Shadow Lord/Berserker two-parter, Wonder Man hasn’t gotten used to playing roles on a stage.

And we’ve seen that his Avengers responsibilities are getting in the way of his acting opportunities. So. Not a surprise he’s going to leave the team as long as the roster is being rearranged anyway.

Wonder Man asks if Beast likes that superhero life of facing death all the time.

Beast: “Frankly, I never really actually considered the possibility of dying... until a minute ago. But think of the fun, glamour and girls, Simon! This is the life!”

Wonder Man: “Is that stuff really enough for a guy as smart as you, Hank? The way I see it being a hero doesn’t make you a person any more than having power makes you a hero.”

Beast: “Yeah. But pigs make good pork chops so I’m staying!”

I’m not really sure what Simon is getting at here. I think its something about finding yourself?

As the time for the meeting draws minutes away, Completely Normal Doctor Donald Blake arrives at the mansion by cab. The cabdriver wondering what a guy like Blake is doing at Avengers Mansion. This Completely Normal Cab Driver is tempted to snoop but goes naw!

If he had snooped, he may have seen Completely Normal Doctor Donald Blake turn into the Mighty Thor and head into the mansion.

Here’s a funny thing, Thor claims that the reason why he talks to himself so much is out of protest that there’s just not enough heralds in Midgard to tell people how cool he is.

Thor: “Thus, the mortal facade is stripped away -- and thus, once again Thor treads the Earth! Thor, god of Thunder, Prince of Asgard! Thor, son of Odin! Bah! That the son of Odin must so proclaim himself -- ! Are there no heralds about? Nay... never when thou needest one! Unannounced, I enter this Earthly ‘mansion,’ poorer than the least dwelling in Asgard!”

Thor also wonders to himself that if he is chosen to take part in the new Avengers roster, will he choose to remain with them? One presumes he has a lot of Thor business going on. That’s why he left the team back when Moondragon was temping with them. She convinced him he was slumming by hanging with the Avengers.

OH. MEANWHILE. That Completely Normal Cab Driver?

He is seized by a strange compulsion. He parks his cab in an alley, takes off his clothes and -- MOON KNIGHT?

Inside, the Avengers are assembling for their meeting to find who is fired or not. Except they’ve decided to give the rinky conference room table a pass and are instead sitting around in a room with even fewer chairs and a table less conducive to holding a meeting.

Lateral move.

I’m wondering whether there was some miscommunication between writer and artist or what.

Cap tells the Avengers to find a place to sit (when there is only one visible chair) when Jarvis interrupts.

Moon Knight has shown up and demands to see the Avengers. And the automatic defenses that should have stopped him seem to have been switched off.

Moon Knight insists that the Avengers summoned him. That he was forced to come to the mansion. Which comes as news to the Avengers.

And then a whole bunch of other superheroes show up claiming that they were also forced to come here.

Hi Hercules, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Angel, Yellowjacket, Dazzler, Tigra, Black Panther, and Iceman!

So that explains the cover.

Wow, a cover that didn’t even lie!

There’s a hustle and bustle of the various superheroes complaining about being here because they had better things to be doing. Black Panther is late for a meeting to speak with the UN Security Council!

And Dazzler complains because its too cold to sit next to Iceman. And Iceman is just like ‘it be like that.’

Oh and Tigra seems to decide to get in some impromptu yoga. Don’t know what the deal with that is. But cats be like that sometimes.

Moon Knight sees all these heroes here and comes to the conclusion that this is some weird Avengers membership drive. But he is very not interested in this!

Yeah, I don’t know that a mysterious vigilante who mostly operates in the shadows would be a good match for a public superhero team.

Cough.

Iceman too is like sorry but I’m not into the hero stuff. I was on the Champions. I did my time!

So he and Moon Knight turn to leave. Iceman saying he’s going to need to find a cab and Moon Knight clearing knowing that he’s going to be picking up that fare.

But when they get near the door, the two freeze.

I realize that Iceman is involved so I mean that they suddenly stopped moving.

And they get super belligerent at each other and start fighting. With Iceman expositing about his skills. Which is normal for a comic. But seems a bit weird in the context of whats going on.

Iceman: “I feel compelled to explain how my X-Men training helped me to get the most out of my mutant ability to freeze the moisture in the air!”

And he freezes the ground under Moon Knight’s feet so he slips like a doofus.

But when he goes to finish the fight, Iceman’s head suddenly starts to hurt. Which he says is like someone else is in his head with him. He can’t think clearly enough.

While Iceman is distracted, Moon Knight throws some of his moonerangs at Iceman who blocks them. But neither can continue as the pain in their heads incapacitates them both.

Yellowjacket: “Wait a minute! I know who must be behind this! That arrogant self-styled g-- *uhh*”

And Yellowjacket freezes in place, as if in a trance.

The Avengers are concerned but Angel suddenly starts flying around the room, saying he can’t resist, he just has to flyyyyyy

Which apparently offends Tigra for some reason. Some mysterious reason. How mysterious.

Angel: “The Angel’s in the air! Watch me do my stuff!”

Tigra: “So, you think you’re pretty special, huh, Wings? Well, you’re just another bird to Tigra, the She-Cat -- and cats eat birds!”

Angel: “Sounds wild -- ! But you’ve got to catch me first!”

Tigra: “I will Bird-Man! I will -- with my nice, sharp claws! And, once I do, I’m plenty strong enough -- to tear your precious little wings right off!”

Eeeeeeeeesh. Well that’s retroactively a sore subject. Angel has his wings badly injured during the Mutant Massacre storyline and they end up amputated, sending him into a depression. And then stuff happens stuff happens, its his college roommate Cameron Hodges’ fault, Apocalypse gives Angel metal murder wings.

But in the here and now before that series of events, we must assume something similar to the sudden antagonism between Moon Knight and Iceman.

Something weird is going on and stating out loud that you’ve figured out what just gets you put in a trance.

Of course, I know what’s going on because I peeked ahead so I’ll just go ahead and tell you its M- *uhh*

Hahah, just kidding! Can you imagine, though? Anyway, its Moondragon.

She’s lurking behind the Avengers watching them watch this nonsense. They don’t notice her because she’s decided she doesn’t want them to. Until she does.

But before that, hey, time to call out Beast.

Beast: “Hey-- ! That’s not a costume! Tigra’s for real! She’s like a cat ... covered with fur -- like me! I should be thrilled, I guess... But instead, I find it vaguely unsettling!” 

Look, furries can’t judge furries for being furry. Its the law.

Anyway, Moondragon lets the Avengers notice her and they turn around and go ‘oh ffs its Moondragon’ more or less.

Moondragon: “I sensed your need for order... for organization! So I returned!”

Iron Man: “What?! What right do you have to interfere?”

Moondragon: “Why, divine right, naturally!”

You may not like her but you have to admire her confidence.

She recaps her backstory a bit, including her belief that she’s Actually A Goddess of Mind. Because she was raised by the demigods of Titan and she’s super psychic.

I’m not sure how super psychic. I don’t think she and Jean Grey, for example, have ever locked horns. And Jean Grey is kind of the byword for super psychic.

She’s at least psychic enough that she gave Daredevil his vision back. I think that’s psychic?

I do wonder how Moondragon stacks up on the Grey scale. But not enough that I want that kind of dick waving contest between the Avengers and X-Men. There’s enough of that already.

So after explaining how great she is the Avengers basically react with ‘oh ffs, we did not miss this’ and ask what this has to do with this circus.

Moondragon: “Come now, Iron Man! Who better than I to bring order to the tangled affairs of this company? When last I left this august assemblage, my status was still Avenger-on-call -- meaning that I would aid you in times of dire need! I am needed now! -- And so I am here!”

Iron Man: “Swell.”

I think I’ve actually missed her advanced state of arrogance. Or maybe I’m just charitably inclined to her because she and Phyla-Vell got back together and alive in the current Guardians of the Galaxy run.

Anyway, Hawkeye has not missed her advanced state of arrogance and decides to peace out. He’s got an actual paying job to do and he’s late for work because Moondragon dragged him out here.

Moondragon tells him he can go. FOR HIS FATE LEADS HIM AWAY FROM THE AVENGERS FOR NOW!

Hawkeye: “Baldy, if you’re so hot why couldn’t you figure that out without dragging me across town?”

Good point, Hawkeye.

Honestly? I think she did it to troll you.

Black Widow and Black Panther also take off. Black Panther to his UN thing and Black Widow back to her job with SHIELD.

Moondragon doesn’t stop them. So I’m guessing their fates also lead them away from the Avengers for now. But. Why bring them? They didn’t do anything?

Moondragon, were you just padding out the numbers for a more exciting cover? Dammit, Moondragon!

Hawkeye is Hawkeye and thus extra extra so he shoots a suction cup arrow at a helicopter to hitch a ride instead of taking a taxi. And as he dangles from it, he muses melancholic about what Black Widow and he once had. And ironically, Black Widow is also thinking about him and sure that he doesn’t care for her anymore.

Womp womp.

Inside the mansion, Moondragon decides to continue, to the protests of Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America.

So she yells SILENCE! and paralyzes them, just like with Yellowjacket.

The assorted crowd of everyoen else fusses and wonders what to do but Moondragon takes charge and demands that Dazzler show her stuff.

Or rather:

Moondragon: “You use your gift frivolously... as part of a musical act! Please demonstrate!”

That’s... a way to request that, yes.

Dazzler doesn’t like her tone but decides to demonstrate anyway. Cranking her pocket radio and converting the sound waves into a dazzling light show.

Dazzler: “I.... uh. Also skate! Not much of a power, huh?”

Moondragon: “Hmm! Greater than you suspect... but i sense that your desire to be a minstrel is deep and sincere!”

Minstrel? Really? Psychics have no excuse for not knowing the right word.

I’m getting a real mixed vibe from Moondragon talking to Dazzler. Its like she’s being condescending and complimentary at the same time.

But since she senses that Dazzler just wants to do disco stuff, she tells her that she can go.

Dazzler isn’t sure whether to leave the Avengers to deal with this or as she thinks “Baldy’s rap sounds real cool but this scene is definitely tense!” but Scarlet Witch tells her it will be alright.

So Dazzler goes. “When the Scarlet Witch says go -- I go!”

Dazzler knows the score.

With Dazzler gone, Moondragon is like ‘welp lets get back on with it’ but Scarlet Witch has had it.

Scarlet Witch: “Enough! We demand that you cease this outrage! We can make our own decisions.”

Moondragon: “Can you? Some of you would choose to stay out of force of habit... or loneliness... or fear of failure in the world beyond these walls! You are children! It is far better that I choose!”

And now Iron Man has had enough. And has also had an idea.

While his body may have been paralyzed by Moondragon, a lot of his armor functions are thought activated because, hey, I don’t see a lot of buttons on him, do you?

So all he has to do is think WHOOOSHy thoughts and WHOOOSH he goes, flying through the ceiling of Avengers Mansion. For once, it is Tony Stark who destroys Tony Stark’s home.

And once he’s outside Avengers Mansion, he is apparently far enough outside her range that he can now move. And since “brainwaves are electromagnetic in nature” he turns on his built-in transceiver to emit a microwave psionic jamming signal.

Which is something that he just can do!

The effect of which is that it’ll make Moondragon “feel like she’s got static on every channel!”

Sure!

Kind of reminds me of the First Foundation’s anti-psychic defenses they made against the Second Foundation. Ah, classic sci-fi. Sometimes it teaches us things like how to fight specifically Moondragon.

Moondragon is sure that she can overcome the jamming if she can just regain her concentration but...

With psychic frequencies jammed, the paralyzed Avengers start to spring into action.

So she just puts up a force field. Projected from her spaceship in Earth orbit and activated with a remote control in her glove.

Aside from the other things I’ve given Moondragon, I’ll also give her this: she came prepared.

Moondragon: “Why must you resist me so? Why can you not simply acknowledge that you need my godly guidance? We are wasting valuable time! I have yet another group of candidates to summon... but I cannot dally here much longer!”

I really want to know who her B Squad would have been.

But with the Avengers trying to break down her force field and Iron Man swooping back in to help, Moondragon decides ‘hey fuck this actually’ and teleports away.

Moondragon: “By the braided ring! How naive... how foolish you are! Perhaps I am wasting my time on your petty affairs! All right then -- enough! Have it your way! I am needed elsewhere in the galaxy! Farewell!”

And she doesn’t die on the way back to her home planet.

I do like that she recontextualizes the scenario as being actually this is a waste of her time and she’s just throwing pearls before swine. She’s going to go somewhere that appreciates the work she’s doing out of the goodness of her heart.

She is horrible. And like with Emma Frost, I just kinda appreciate that in a character.

With Moondragon not here to force people to stay, Thor tells all the non-Avengers to fuck off. Not very gracious, Thor. They were forced to come.

Iceman leaves and reminds everyone and me that his life goal is actually to be an accountant. Something I’m surprised by every time I hear it.

He even offers to help the Avengers with their budgets or tax forms. Heck of a guy.

Angel also leaves but muses that he kind of hates to.

Angel: “I... sort of hate to leave! I haven’t really done much with my life since the Champions broke up! -- Besides hang around with the X-Men a little! I never thought about becoming an Avenger --! Maybe I ought to!”

This is the thought process that will probably lead him to form X-Factor and that road leads to Cameron Hodge and Angel becoming Archangel. Dammit, Moondragon!

Although, the X-Man I really want on an Avengers team is Cyclops. He’s so defined by being an X-Man and by being a leader of X-Men, I want to see what he does on a team that already has plenty of leaders. I want to see if he goes through a weird character transformation like Beast and becomes relentlessly chill.

Alas.

Anyway, Tigra speaks up and says “I gather that you guys weren’t really looking for new members, but now that I’m here... uh, any chance?”

Cap is dubious because he doesn’t know a thing about Tigra (except that he gave her clothes to Patsy Walker) but Hercules is like hey we all saw how she tried to beat up Moondragon, that shows she has mettle.

Plus, there are Avengers that Hercules knows nothing about, which is totally the same thing.

Hercules: “You, for instance! You are called Wonder Man, though in sooth, I know not why!”

Wonder Man: “Really? Well, I... I’m as strong as Thor... almost...”

Hercules: “Eh? What?! HAVE AT THEE, THEN!”

And then he punches Wonder Man through a wall.

God, I love Hercules.

And then he tries to wrassle him, just pleased as all get out that Wonder Man is still conscious after Hercules gave him a big punch. “What fun!”

Wonder Man is less pleased.

Wonder Man: “Why are you doing this? Why are you attacking me for no reason?”

Hercules: “Men must brawl to know one another! How better to learn the measure of a man -- ? And what greater gift can a man give another than the thrill, the glory, the joy of battle? I am a friendly fellow who would often give this gift -- but, alas, most mortals are too frail to receive it. You are not, though! You and I may batter freely!”

Hercules just wants to punch people to be friendly but poor guy is just too swole for most men. He needs a real sturdy friend to beat the shit out of.

Wonder Man squirms out of the wrassle and clocks Hercules through a different wall. As the Avengers just watch like ‘yup this is the kind of day this has been.’

Hercules is in good spirit about being clocked through a wall and decides that now he and Wonder Man are friends and that Wonder Man is truly worthy to be an Avenger.

Wonder Man sheepishly mentions that actually he was quitting to pursue a career in acting and WHY HERCULES LIKES THAT JUST AS WELL!

Hercules: “Acting? Why of late, Hercules has kept company with those mortals known as the ‘jet set.’ I know many producers and directors! Come, I’ll introduce you to them! And the women, friend Wonder Man!”

Captain America, bemused: “you meet some strange folks in this business.”

There’s an non-existent Wonder Man and Hercules Take Hollywood Buddy Comedy Book and its a crime that its non-existent.

Geez, Marvel. GEEZ.

Anyway, that’s Wonder Man gone. Out of one buddy comedy into another.

Tigra reminds the Avengers that she’s still here and still wants to be in the Avengers.

Tigra: “Yeah... uh, back to my little problem... I’ve been at loose ends for a while... and I really want to belong somewhere! I know I could cut it as an Avenger! Please?”

This time, the objection is that the Avengers just don’t have room for a new person. They were trying to pare back! Not recruit!

But Beast interjects and reveals he is also leaving.

Beast: “Wondy and I had a talk this morning that started me thinking -- and I hate to admit it, but a couple of things Moondragon said hit home! You know, I used to be a scientist! I used to have a future besides my next gag and tomorrow night’s date! I want to see if there’s anything left of Hank McCoy besides a ‘blue-furred buffoon!’“

Hank’s early character beats on the Avengers were him struggling to find what his place on the team would be. He couldn’t be the strongest with Iron Man or Thor on the team. He couldn’t be the smartest with Iron Man again, Black Panther, or Yellowjacket. Wonder Man joining the team. Wonder Man joining the team gave Beast someone to be there for and with. But mostly Beast’s tenure has been kind of... party time for him. He’s been the fun member of the team. Going out to parties and juggling multiple dates and telling jokes.

Its been a fun time for Beast but he’s not really been living up to his potential And there were times he could have become the scientist on the team again. Or helped as one. Yellowjacket hasn’t been on the team as a core member for a bit. But he stuck in his role as the team clown.

Like with Thor, Moondragon has convinced Beast that he’s been sort of slumming it with the Avengers and now he’s gotta go rethink his character.

Where does this lead him? Why, he’s going to join the Defenders! And going to try to get that non-team team more organized like a team team. Is this a good thing? I don’t know, I haven’t read a lot of Defenders! Hopefully the Defenders podcast I listen to gets to that point soon!

But Beast isn’t the only one Moondragon has swayed.

Vision and Scarlet Witch likewise announce that they’re quitting the Avengers.

Vision: “Perhaps we will not succeed in finding a place among ordinary people -- but we must try!”

So perhaps influenced as well by the conversation Wanda had with Jan where Wasp wasn’t worried about losing her spot on the team. Which Wanda attributed to Jan having a life outside the Avengers. And apparently Wanda and Vision have been afraid to try for that. Until Moondragon dunked on her for it.

Geez. If there’s anything Moondragon is good at, its getting Avengers to quit the team. She got Thor and Hellcat last time. This time she got Beast, Vision, and Scarlet Witch.

So there’s room for Tigra now but also too much room. They were aiming for six and even with Tigra, they’d only have FIVE THERES ONLY FIVE CLEARLY.

Jocasta, in the background: -saddest robot in the world-

Yellowjacket shrugs and decides to rejoin as a full-time member to get the number up to six. His research hasn’t been going great lately anyway so he has time in his schedule.

Feeling overlooked, just like last issue, which was a filler which was supposed to address the Avengers overlooking her, Jocasta decides to slink away. Just leaps out the window and runs away from home.

Jocasta: “They didn’t even notice me... didn’t count me! Was it an oversight? Or had everyone already made up their minds that I would be one of those eliminated? What difference does it make? I am nothing to them! They do not want me here! Maybe I’ll find someplace where I am wanted! Maybe I’ll find someone... who loves me!”

=(

And where does Jocasta go from here?

She wanders the country looking for love, presumably in all the wrong places, and is seized by a per-programmed compulsion to rebuild Ultron. This leads to a big team up between the Thing, Machine Man, and her and Jocasta sacrifices herself to help stop Ultron. The Avengers hold a memorial and Machine Man attends, realizing that he had loved Jocasta.

So plus side: she does find someone to love her. Minus side: she dies and also its Machine Man.

Double plus side: she’s eventually rebuilt. Dies a couple more times. But she’s currently alive.

It’s going to turn out that this was a failure of communication.

(On the team less than a day after basically begging to join and she’s already made herself at home and is hogging the entire couch. How very cat of you, Tigra.)

Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor had decided privately to ask her to stay on as a Special Substitute Avenger, keep living in the mansion, and help out when its needed.

In the hubbub of Moondragon’s recruitment drive I guess they forgot to bring it up. I feel like its something you should have approached her with before the meeting, just to make sure she was okay with it.

Hindsight and all.

The snubbing from Vision definitely didn’t help.

Iron Man: “I hope she comes back! -- And I sure hope Moondragon doesn’t!”

Hah.

I do wonder what the initial plan going into the meeting would have been, before Moondragon took it over. What roster had Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America decided on before Moondragon talked three Avengers into quitting and introduced Tigra to the team?

I guess we’ll never knoooow.

Captain America muses that although it seems like they drove Moondragon away, she may have gotten what she actually wanted. “What if she used her mental powers subtly to influence the decisions that were made?”

And its possible because of how her speech influenced the three people who quit.

The thought just about makes Iron Man furious.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on it because the news shows up to get coverage of the last panel new roster AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! moment.

I do love a good last panel new roster Avengers Assemble moment.

And that was Jim Shooter’s first issue back. And a pretty great first issue too.

Not that the previous issues have been bad necessarily but he definitely brought a sense of fun to this issue. Even though there’s some forced fighting for those ACTION SCENES most of it is just character interactions. Even some of the pointless fights.

And like writers like to do when they take over a book, Jim Shooter draws a line in the history with a shake-up to the team roster. Reintroduces Moondragon into the book because he has unfinished business with her.

I’ve actually been reading the original Star Brand book by Shooter and the writing is night and day. Its all text text text words words words but its much punchier here. Though there are some strange spelling and punctuation choices.

Still, I’m excited to have a consistent writer back on and I’m even excited about it being Jim Shooter. I hated his first run on the book on first read and then appreciated it more the second time through. And I’ve heard interesting stuff about this upcoming run.

Psst, follow @essential-avengers​. You are being mentally influenced by Moondragon to do so. Wait, this is a counterproductive self-promote. Er, like and reblog because you choose to?

[rayshippouuchiha]

I came out of Endgame with tears in my eyes and my heart filled up to the brim with absolute seething rage.

Even as I write this now my hands shake with some sick mixture of sadness, rage, and bitter disappointment.

So I preface this by saying that I am emotionally compromised and some of my views might shift with time and distance.

But, for better or for worse, this is my first rage flushed take:

I am so disappointed and so angry that after all of the tension, all of the build, all of the time and sweat and tears, all of the loyalty, we were rewarded with this.

Endgame had its high points, I’m not saying that it didn’t.  There were some genuinely funny moments and some heart rending ones as well.

Every single second Tony Stark was on screen was flawless as always.  Robert Downey Jr. once again proved why he and he alone was suited for the role of Tony Stark and the task of carrying the majority of the MCU for the past 10+ years.

That’s not to say that the rest of the cast wasn’t good.  All of the actors all obviously brought their A game and then some when they were allowed to by what I loosely call a script.

So yeah, there were some highs.

But when its comes to Endgame’s low points?

Its low points were subterranean.

They lowered the bar and then they dug underneath it.

Again I’m writing this basically fresh from the theater and with my emotions still high so do forgive me if this is a bit jumbled around or if I ramble a bit as I cover some of the real issues I had with the film.

So, first thing to address was the overall tone of the film.

For this to be the much glorified Endgame, the “battle of our lives”, there was, in my opinion, a distinct lack of true tension in this film.  Instead of a fraught, nail biting, tension filled ride, Endgame is more of a ... brisk jog through some vaguely sticky situations.

Instead of playing the story straight and giving the situation the gravity it deserved, the narrative went out of its way to put humor that served no other purpose than to ruin what tension had been previously built.  And, in my opinion, the tone of the film suffered for it.

The humor and jokes were humorous, I’m not saying they wasn’t.  I genuinely laughed out loud in the moment.  But I also feel that, with the majority of the comedy that was wedged into the narrative, the film suffered for it.

Now let’s move on a bit to the actual plot of the film.  Again, forgive me if I bounce a bit:

Jeremy Renner was breathtakingly heartbreaking as Clint Barton.  Renner was finally allowed to stretch his legs a bit in this film and he proved that, had he been given the chance, he would have given us a Clint Barton to take our breath away.

Watching with Clint as his family died helped to set what should have been the tone for the majority of the film from there on while reminding us of just what was lost and just what was at stake all at the same time.

Chris Evans brought heart to his portrayal of a Steve Rogers who seems both lighter and more weighted down in this film than ever before.

Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha finally showed more emotion than “head tilt”, “lip purse”, and “arched brow” and it was beautiful.

The brief flash of friendship and affection between Nebula and Tony was perfect and heartwarming as well.  Nebula was magnificent as the “feral space cat desperately in need of softness and a friendly hand” when placed side by side with a slowly withering Tony Stark who is, even at his lowest moments, still kind to this alien cyborg he doesn’t know but to who he owes his life.  They flowed together with an onscreen chemistry in their few moments side by side that felt organic and aching.

Together Tony and Nebula embodied a truly important life/plot point of “meet kindness with kindness and kindness will be your reward”.

Moving forward in time hearing Tony vent his anger and his pain and his distrust at Steve was cathartic in a lot of ways.

As was watching Tony rip the arc reactor from his chest and slap it into Steve’s hand.

In this moment Tony is handing Steve his metaphorical broken heart and leaving someone else to, for once, try and pick up the pieces.

But then, unfortunately, things go rather steeply down hill from there.

With Tony out for the count in a hospital bed the others hunt down and execute Thanos with basically a hand wave and all hope for the stones is lost.

Until deus ex rat-ina unleashes Scott Lang from the quantum realm and the logic of the film takes a sharp left turn.

Scott Lang was missing for 5 years.

To him it was 5 hours.

To which I say, why did Janet van Dyne, age during her stay in the quantum realm?  If, according to the MCU canon, every year in our world was roughly only an hour for Scott Lang, then why didn’t Janet come out of the quantum realm only 30 hours older instead of 30 years?

I feel like the answer is probably “because” but yeah maybe I’m just fuzzy on my Ant Man so if I’m wrong then just ignore that bit please.

Also, just a side note, I adore how it’s been 5 years, Wakanda is very much an ally and still up and running, and yet Rhodey still don’t have working legs.  But alas, racism.

Moving on. 

So with the main villain dead and Tony Stark having solved time travel in his living room, because I stan legends only, we’re now subjected, and that is the very word I’d use to describe what happens next, to what is called a Time Heist.

Cute.

Also Bruce Banner and Hulk have now merged Steven Universe style despite Hulk being scared green-less 5 years ago.  But that’s all good, Bruce smoked a ton of weed, they meditated, went on a cleanse or whatever.

Either way Bruce finally did that character development that everyone had been shouting at him since Avengers 2012 and accepted Hulk as part of him and they’re now Dr. Hulk which was … something that happened?

A thing that they chose to do.  The direction in which they set their narrative wheels and then powered full steam ahead and plowed us right over in the process.

But yeah, Time Heist!  That’s the way to go, the only way apparently.

Because going back in time to stop the Snappening isn’t an option due to reasons that are explained and still look and feel paper thin but probably just honestly boils down to “Russos”

Our intrepid heroes will now split up and surf through time Bill and Ted style to collect the Stones from different points in history.

Yay.

So the rest of the film is basically that, a big old jewel hunt through space and history where the Russos attempt to fool us into thinking their plot points are cohesive and cool by donkey punching us repeatedly in our nostalgia-sacks.

We’re treated to, in no particular order, such hits as:

“Ah 2012 and the invasion of New York only not as interesting but Tony Stark is very much an ass man, but then we been done known that.”

“The Ancient One and her still very distracting skull vein coming at you right now”

“LOKI YOU LITTLE SHIT”

“The one time I envied Scott Lang because, for a split second, he got to be inside Tony Stark”

“Let’s watch Tony Stark simultaneous take a Hulk to the face and have a small cardiac event all at the same time but from different angles”

And let us not forget

“Tee Hee Hee us white bois just had to find a way to make sure Captain America say “Hail HYDRA” but it was for “spy reasons” so weren’t we clever???????”

Yeah boys, great job.

So edgy.

(Although as a side note I do agree, Steve Roger’s ass really is America’s ass and I’d like to thank him for that. Personally.)

But then, of course, Endgame would not have been complete without:

“Steve Rogers stares longingly and creepily at Peggy Carter from behind a window, further backing up his one defining character trait in the MCU which is the inability to move on.  Also she doesn’t look up at all despite being a trained spy and all around badass who probably should have noticed the 6 foot slab of American Beef staring at her from less than a foot away, dark room or no dark room.”

And then my personal favorite:

“Tony Stark sees Howard Stark, the father he described as “calculating, cold, he never told me he was proud of me, never even told me he loved me” but it’s all good cause Tony’s a dad now so looking back all he sees are the good times with his emotionally neglectful and abusive father who says there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for his unborn kid and now they awkwardly hug while I try not to scream “FOOTAGE NOT FUCKING FOUND HOWARD AND NO THAT ONE 3 MINUTE VIDEO DOESN’T COUNT YOU SHIT” at the screen and explode in pure rage.”

Joy.

Truly a scene that was necessary and fit the narrative of Howard Stark’s personality and was needed for Tony to uh get closure or grow as a man and a father or something …

It totally wasn’t yet another excuse to give a canonically abusive father screen time in a way that seems genial and sweet in an attempt to give them a bit of redemption that they neither earned nor deserve.

But yeah, whatever, moving on.

Also Rhodey remains an absolute gem and he and Nebula get shit done.

Only oops, not so fast.

Because apparently the only one who is going to run into the whole “two of you can’t exist in one place at one time without consequences” rule is Nebula who, despite her bitchin orange stripe/badge of character development, managed to like synch up with her past self?

Because she didn’t turn her bluetooth/quantum entanglement function off I guess.

Either way Orange Stripe Nebula, O’Snebula as I call her, has accidentally air dropped all her files into OG Nebula’s mental iPhone.

So yeah now big old Past Grimace knows what’s up.

Ooops??

So shit goes down and then Past Grimace is like “you need to Trogan horse this shit, least favorite daughter” so OG Nebula does because “daddy issues”.

Dr. Hulk puts on the gauntlet and Kentucky fires his arm bringing all the people lost in the Snappening back to life now, 5 years after they got dusted.

Which is … honestly a recipe for disaster in so many ways.  What about the people, like the guy in Steve’s support group, who have started to move on?

What about the people who have remarried, have built new lives?

All of that’s ruined now.

It’s fantastic all those people are alive again but jobs, housing, food, healthcare, government, all of it is back in massive disarray across the universe.

And bringing those people back does nothing to bring back the people who didn’t die in the Snappening but died from causality instead.  All the deaths caused by suicides, by car/bus/train/plane/ship/etc crashes, by a lack of first responders, by the civil/world/interplanetary wars that probably raged across the universe due to entire governments disappearing?

All of those people are still dead.

The Snappening killed half of all life in the universe.  Causality probably killed another good ¼ after that.

And Dr. Hulk’s Un-Snappening saves none of them.

This isn’t a true solution, it’s a shitty band-aid.

But yeah, Russos so….

Moving on.

Yadda Yadda Yadda, plot plot plot. OG Nebula goes undercover, Past Grimace ends up in the future, there’s some fighting (which was admittedly BAD ASS), shit happens, and Tony saves the day like we all knew he would.

YAY!

Despite the massive rambling up above I’m not gonna plot out the entire movie right here though a lot will probably get covered coming up because here’s where I get down and start talking about the various character arcs too.

Because what a wild fucking ride those were.

Okay to take it from the top Scott Lang’s arc was fine.  Beyond my questions about the quantum realm his was clear cut and fine although I do wonder at his luck at being, apparently, the only Scott Lang in San Fran to go missing.  Well either that or he was staring at some other Scott Lang’s name instead of his own and in that case “awkward”.

Bruce’s arc was … look I could have done without all of the cringy Dr. Hulk stuff that they played up for laughs.  If they were gonna brush Hulk being terrified under the rug they could have found a better way to do it besides just erasing the duality between Hulk and Banner with a hand wave.

But yeah, Russos.

Carol Danvers was beautiful and magnificent and completely brushed aside.  Yes she was out in the universe handling shit, yes I know they did that so they could focus on the core Avengers, etc etc etc.

But it’s a damn shame that Carol Danvers, and her glorious haircut, was reduced to being the sorely needed and totally badass cavalry and last minute ace in the hole when she should have, logically, been a part of the vanguard.  Honestly I have thoughts on why Carol’s entire character should have been saved completely for the next phase of the MCU instead of introduced so late in this one but I digress.

O’Snebula was a perfect shining bionic light and I love her.

Gamora is now alive in the future but at what cost?  Not that her life isn’t worth something on its own, it totally is and she deserved the loophole resurrection 10000%.

Shit’s gonna be awkward though cause she doesn’t love Quill, she doesn’t love the Guardians, doesn’t really know O’Snebula or the universe she’s been thrown into.  She doesn’t have the memories or the experiences or the character growth and even if she does go back to her family she’ll never be the same person.

Now her and Quill’s relationship, if they ever have one again, will be reduced down to Quill going “you fell in love with me once you could do it again despite us no longer having the shared experiences that bonded us together”.  Same can be said for the rest of the Guardians as well.

Guess we all know what the plot of GotG 3 is gonna be about.

And that brings us to the story lines that really and truly upset me.

Which is basically all the rest of them.

Natasha/Clint’s combined story-line, Thor’s everything, Steve’s … Steve, and then finally Tony.

Now the Natasha/Clint story-line started out promising.

Clint’s rage and pain was obvious, his heartbreak poignant.  His decision to use all of those to cut a bloody swathe through the criminal underworld was both Dramatic(™) and understandable.

Natasha’s love and grief for him, her desperate attempts to hold onto what she has left by throwing herself into her new job, was a perfect demonstration that Natasha Romanoff is very much not a robot.  She was exhausted, frayed at the edges, and she had tears in her eyes, over Clint.  And then she pulled herself together, slipped her mask back on, and pushed her way forward.  This was all excellent.

It was also a nice narrative callback/parallel to have Natasha be the one to go out and bring Clint in from the cold.

Natasha plays touch stone, plays stability, for Clint and for many of the others.  For the first time Natasha is truly portrayed as a person all the way down to the core instead of some witty quips in a catsuit.  Plus her eyebrows finally came back from the war and her hair looked good again.  So there was that.

Clint and Natasha’s arc comes to a climax on Vormir as they search for the Soul Stone and Red Skull, the Nazi cockroach that he is, gives them the same spiel he gave Thanos.

To get the Soul Stone you must give up the life of the one you love the most. A soul for a soul.

Narrative wise this is consistent, we all knew this would happen as soon as they started searching for the Stones again.  It was obvious.

It was also obvious that Clint was the perfect sacrifice.

He’s got nothing left, his family is dead, he’s already lost the people he loves the most, he’s spent five years being a borderline monster.

And he is also, without a doubt, the thing that Natasha loves the most.

Clint was ready and willing to go, ready to die for the blood on his hands, ready to sacrifice himself for the chance that his family would be saved.

Ready to lay down on the wire and let Natasha walk over him for the sake of everything.

Clint dying made sense, was narratively sound, and heartbreaking.

All of which are only a few of the reasons why Natasha’s death was such a goddamn betrayal.

Instead of following along with the narratively sound death of Clint Barton, an Avenger that’s been ignored for most of the films as is, the Russo brothers instead chose to fridge Natasha.

Clint dying would have been the perfect mirror to Gamora’s death.

Gamora was a daughter unwillingly sacrificed by her father to destroy half of all life in the universe.

Clint would have been a father willingly sacrificed by a friend to save half of all life in the universe, his own sons and daughter included.

But no, we didn’t get that, instead we got a gratuitous scene of Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, splayed angel like and bloody on the rocks below.

Instead they fridged the Black Widow, the only woman of the original Big Six, because they couldn’t bring themselves to fridge a man.

So Clint gets the Soul Stone.

Such a fitting end for the Black Widow right?  Dying in a man’s place, mourned on screen by a circle of men, but ultimately set aside rather quickly.

I understand why Natasha wanted to be the one to go, I understand that she didn’t want Clint’s family to lose their husband/father and that her true family was the Avengers. I get that.  It doesn’t mean I enjoy or agree with the decision they made any more.

It doesn’t make me any less tired of watching female characters die for the sake of men and their families.

Natasha Romanoff sacrificed herself for the universe and her family and that deserves respect even if I absolutely hate it as a narrative choice.

Oh and what about the absolute NERVE of the Russos to have that awesome Lady Power Battle Strut happen but only after they killed Natasha, one of the Big Six?

Bitter? Me? Nooo.

Now, moving on to Thor.

Thor.

Oh my actual God, Thor.

The levels of disrespect Thor, Chris Hemsworth, and the fans were shown with this character arc/story-line in Endgame is breathtaking.

The absolute, shameless disrespect.

They turned Thor into a cowardly, drunken slob who has spent the last 5 years ignoring his responsibilities to what’s left of his people and instead has spent his time drinking, sulking, and literally yelling at kids over PSN??

Endgame’s Thor has the bullshit reasoning that he needs to stop trying to be who he thinks he should be and instead be who he is.

Which flies completely in the face of literally all of his character development from Thor all the way to Thor 3 and then Infinity War.

The entirety of Thor 3 was Thor’s hero’s journey culminating in him finally being the king he was always meant to be.  Finally maturing and stepping forward to lead his people.

I am supposed to believe that Thor, depressed and guilty or not for not killing Thanos when he had the chance the first time, just abandoned his people like that?

I’m supposed to believe that Thor would piss all over everything the majority of his family and friends died for?

I’m supposed to believe that Heimdall, Loki, countless soldiers, and The Warrior’s Three and Lady Sif (I guess), all died to protect Asgard, died for the people and for Thor, and Thor just what? Turns his back on all of that to become a drunk?

No, Thor wouldn’t do that.  Thor should have been down there beside Valkyrie working those fishing vessels when Bruce and Rocket came calling.  If Thor had any hesitance to join them it should have been, “I can’t abandon my people, I am needed here.”  He should have been fiercely guarding the tiny fraction of Asgard that’s left.

Thor’s depression and guilt was valid. Don’t mistake me on that. But they played it for jokes.  They made him a caricature of depression, made him “gross” and incompetent and the butt of the jokes, and in the process diminished what should have been a painful and poignant arc for Thor.

Instead we got Big Lebowski Thor, bathrobe included, who does stand up and fight yes but, in the end, gives up his crown and just fucks off to space to have petty pissing competitions with Peter Quill so he can?? find himself?? despite finding himself in Ragnarok already???

Thor’s entire arc in Endgame was shallow, mishandled, and disrespectful to the character, to Chris Hemsworth, and to the fans.

You, we, he, all deserved better than this.

Now we get to Steve.

Steve Rogers, Captain America himself.

I’ve had a lot of salt about Steve’s character and actions in the MCU but, all of that aside, he deserved so much more than what the Russo’s did to him in Endgame.

Hell he’s deserved so much more than what’s been done to him since post-CA:TFA.

But this is about Endgame specifically soooo….

Steve’s shown leading a support group in the beginning of Endgame, is shown talking about moving on and moving forward and learning to let go. Which is wonderful.  It sounds like the exact character development we’ve all been waiting for for Steve.

Which is, of course, the exact moment when Steve goes “nah just kidding, we don’t ever move on”.

Which, given the circumstances, is pretty fair.  If Steve was only thinking/talking about Thanos and the events of Infinity War.

But of course he wasn’t.

CA:CW should have been the end of the Peggy Carter saga for Steve.  He mourned her, he was finally moving forward, he’d kissed Sharon, he threw everything away to save Bucky, he gave up his shield, etc etc.

But no.  Endgame finds him right back there, clutching that goddamn compass, and making moon eyes at a woman who we all thought went on and lived a life without him, got married, had kids, and generally existed outside of Steve Rogers.

But no.  The Russo’s had to take that away from us too.

And yes yes I know I know multiverse or whatever but still.

Steve steamrolls his way through Endgame with skill and determination.  He picks up Thor’s hammer, finally worthy, which how??? Why???  (perhaps because he’s no longer keeping secrets??? Or maybe that’s just my salt talking? Who knows? Not me?)

And then he fights Thanos head to head.

(Although him wielding the hammer brought up an entire separate set of issues cause I’m pretty sure Mjolnir doesn’t actually summon lightning. Ragnarok pretty much said that the lightning has always been within Thor.  Mjolnir was just a control accessory.  But, you know, Russos *jazzhands*)

And then, in the end, he insists on returning the Stones on his own.

Only he doesn’t come back like he was supposed to.

Instead we’re given old Steve Rogers.

Because Steve returned the Stones and then ….went and found Peggy Carter and got married and lived an entire life with her ignoring everything he would have known was going to happen to her and around the both of them or something???

Or maybe not if the multiverse thing holds up but then who knows any more???

But then how did Old Steve end up right there by that lake on that day at that right time if he’s technically from a different multiverse???

Either way Sam gets his shield and the mantle of Captain America, which was fantastic, and Bucky more than likely knew Steve’s plan all along but the best read I really got on him was basically “eh” so he might well have been happy for Steve too.

But still, instead of finally achieving peace and continuing to learn to live in the future with Bucky and Sam and the remnants of the Avengers, his family and the life he’s built there over the past years, instead of putting the shield down because he’s learned to let go in the now, Steve only puts the shield down because he chooses the past.

He chooses the past over all of that and all of the people left who love him. Sure the argument could be said that he knew they’d be alright but still.

There is a deep well of dissatisfaction inside of me as to how Steve’s entire ending arc was handled.  Why did peace only come to Steve after Tony and Natasha were both dead and then was only found in the past?

No disrespect to Peggy Carter, I adore her, but were the relationships he had in the future worth so little that the past was the only place he could find happiness?  A past with a woman that he knows loved him but still moved on and found happiness outside of him, lived a full and happy life without him?

Steve didn’t get a character arc so much as he got a character circle.  A character loop.  He went right back to where he started.

Endgame erases all of the character development Steve underwent post-Avengers.  Just brushes it all under the rug.

The Russo’s stole the character development Steve Rogers spent a decade undergoing to give him their version of a happy ending.

They robbed him and us both of every bit of growth and forward motion Steve has underwent and I will never forgive them for that.

And now we get to Tony Stark.

Anthony Edward Stark.

The Iron Man.

Tony’s arc is, was, the longest and best developed arc in the entirety of the MCU.

It’s spanned 10+ years and has been nurtured and hand fed by Robert Downey Jr.

If Endgame got one thing right, one thing at all, it’s how they handled the majority of Tony’s arc.

From him laying the smack down on Steve once he was home, finally venting his emotions and his anger, all the way to him solving time travel before tucking his kid into bed, and then building an Infinity Gauntlet on his own even though Thanos committed genocide to get the one he had.

Tony Stark’s arc was glorious and expected and sad.

I think that my one almost complaint is that Tony stopped for 5 years.  On one hand he deserved the rest, deserved the chance to find happiness.  He was hurt and tired and he’d faced his demons and been left bleeding out with the death of half the universe weighing on his shoulders.

He deserved to just stop for a while.

On the other hand stopping is not something Tony has ever been good at, just like Pepper said.  A part of me thought Tony would be working, frantically, to find something, anything, to turn back the hands of time.  To track Thanos down. To get the Stones and then to get everything else back.

To get Peter and all of the others back.

But that’s not the route they went and I’m … okay? I guess, with that.

Tony was validated and vindicated and everyone would have finally listened to him.  It only took the death of half of the universe to do it.  But he was too tired, too hurt and untrusting to keep pushing.  I can respect that.

But of course once an idea worms its way inside Tony can’t let it go.  So he solves time travel on the fly and sets out to save the world.

Again.

His one stipulation is that he will do anything, everything, he has to in order to keep what he has now.  His wife Pepper and Morgan, his sweet little daughter.

So of course he doesn’t get to do that either.

After all of the blood, sweat, suffering, and mental illnesses, Tony doesn’t get his happy ending.  Not really.

He gets to rest, yes, but he loses out on everything he wanted to do with his kid.  In the process of saving the universe he becomes the one thing he never wanted to be for Morgan, a distant father.

A face on a screen, stories, memories other people have.

No matter how many holograms or inventions or whatever Tony left to Morgan, it’ll never replace him.

Morgan got 5 years with her father.  She’ll spend the rest of her life hearing stories about him, about how much of a hero he was.  And hopefully, with Pepper and all the others behind her, Tony will remain a hero to her and will not, instead, become her version of Captain America.  An untouchable symbol that Morgan will never live up to.

So, in the end, Tony sacrifices once again.

Watches the future he wanted crumble to dust in his fingers, lightning scorching him from the inside out as infinity rips him apart.

And he dies there, surrounded by some of the people who love him best.

His best friend.

His wife.

The son he almost had.

And, despite all of that, it is very very fitting that his death was at his own hands.

Thanos could take out half the universe, he could traverse time and space, he could humble Thor, terrorize the Hulk, rip Steve Roger’s up, survive shield and hammer and so much more, but the one thing he couldn’t do?

He couldn’t kill Tony Stark.

The only thing that could kill Iron Man, could kill Tony Stark, was his own heart.

Tony Stark takes the Infinity Stones in hand knowing how this is going to end, knowing that Stephen Strange set him on this path years ago.

Because didn’t Strange warn him?  Didn’t Strange tell him outright “I’ll let the kid and you both die to protect the Time Stone”?

Tony just never expected it to take a few hours and then 5 more years for Strange’s promise to finally be fulfilled.

So Tony does it knowing that after everything he’s been through, all of the pain and the suffering and the battles, it was only enough to have earned 5 years of happiness, 5 years of his dream.

5 years of being the father he always swore he’d be.

Tony Stark takes the Infinity Stones and dies for the entire universe, for his family, for his daughter.  Dies knowing that he’ll be doing the one thing he didn’t want to do, swore he would never do.

Leaving them behind.

Tony Stark brings us full circle as he stands as both equal and mirror of Thanos once again.

Man to Titan.  Good Father to Bad Father.  Life to Death.

Tony Stark picks up the weight of the universe and then he dies making sure that it has a future free from the same fear that has haunted him for a decade.

A warm light for all mankind, sent to sleep, to rest, knowing that finally everything will be okay.

And all he had to do was die for it.

So, I’ll close this out saying this:

This was written in one solid push after my first viewing and Endgame was dissatisfying for me as you might have guessed.  I am disappointed and angry at so much they chose to do to end out this iconic decade of cinema and to close out these character’s arcs.

There were a lot of points and little details I didn’t get to cover in this and perhaps a lot of points you might not agree with me on.

That’s okay.

Because, no matter what, there is one thing I know for sure.

We, I, will always have Tony Stark and the lessons he taught me.  The pain he endured and shared with all of us.  The bravery and strength he inspired in so many of us as we watched him struggle with physical and mental illnesses on screen.  As we watched him obsess and stress and love and grow.

I have never loved a character more than I love Tony Stark.

I have never been impacted by a character as much as I have been by Tony Stark.

I’m not sure if I ever will again.

So, Tony Stark is Iron Man.

He always will be.

And he saved more than just some fictional universe.

He saved a lot of us along the way too.

And we’ll always love him for that.

[unknownunseenunheard]

Honestly I love your blog and I agree with you on a lot of things, especially on the Damian Wayne discourse because that is the exact same problem I have with Jason Todd stans. Like I don't actively dislike Jason or Damian in canon it's just the fanon version of themselves 'that have never done anything wrong ever', that their stans created is really frustrating. Like these could be really interesting characters but fans ruin it by pretending they have no flaws. I nearly became a Jason anti.

First off, thank you (:

The only characters that have done nothing wrong, ever, in their lives are Gary Stus and Mary Stus. Which are boring af.

Damian and Jason aren’t boring. They’re interesting characters. They just toe the line between good and bad more often than others. They’re the darker Robins. Why someone would want to take away what makes them interesting and make them bland, never do wrong heroes is beyond me, but eh.

(Which is really, really ironic because out of all the Robins, TIM is the one who has an alternate semi evil future self that won’t stop fucking with everyone)

Stans get really, really protective though. If it’s against outright bashing, then by all means, go ahead. Or hell, it its against someone making up lies about your fav, also go ahead. Most of the time though, someone is offering just plain criticism and they take it the wrong way. Sometimes, it isn’t even criticism and they come crawling out of the woodwork to attack.

For example, I made a post about how Wanda was the one person shown to have been harmed by Tony Stark that didn’t decide to take it out on the world. (Well, her and Peitro, but Peitro is very, very dead) It wasn’t long before someone was bashing her all over the thing, ranting about how she was an evil fucking nazi witch and I ended up blocking them because they were annoying and wouldn’t shut up.

Or with Damian, I was annoyed at how him trying to kill Tim is played off by everyone around them, and got at least half a dozen paragraph long anons yelling at me about how ‘good and pure’ Damian is, which I honestly just deleted because I didn’t want to end up hating the character, and reading crazy Stans defending the character at the expense of everyone else? It’s grating, so I don’t want to do it.

I really haven’t had any Jason Stans yell at me, although I have seen a few posts going around that basically tear into anyone that isn’t Jason which, again, is annoying.

Like, if you have to tear into other characters in order to elevate your fav, maybe they aren’t that great? I mean, the DC fandom has some of this but it isn’t as bad as, say, the MCU fandom which is generally divided in two: Worship Tony or Hate Tony, and how in the hell that ever came about is beyond me but there’s a reason I don’t actively go in there anymore.

Personally, my advice is this: Try and avoid the more toxic Stans. It’s what I do, and it usually works, but sometimes they come and find you in which case just ignore and delete. If they’re to the point where they’re getting you to hate a character you previously liked, don’t even bother reading what they send, just kill it with fire.