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amberjazmyn · 2 months

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always with me 💔

pairing : max verstappen x fem!reader, lando norris x fem!reader, oscar piastri x fem!reader & charles leclerc x fem!reader

summary : with the lyrics of westlife's song "always with me" we will see four of the f1 grid drivers (m.verstappen, l. norris, o. piastri and c. leclerc) or their partner deal with someone they love pass away, a verse or line or two of the song describing it

warnings : tears, death, mentions of f1 death, mentions of terminal illnesses and dodgy google translations

a/n : this is going to be written in the same format as the last one-shot since i loved that so much. the lyrics in bold italics and everything else will be in normal font and lowercase. and as a disclaimer, what i have written is not to sensationalise or capatalise on any of the real-life deaths talked about whilst fake deaths will also be talked about. it is awful that real-life crashes have occured during an f1 race, this is just a work of fiction with real-life elements to make the storyline make more sense.

max verstappen:

we share our life together, built our dreams forever, this much i know that is true. but i'd give anything to see your smile again and have just one more dance with you

you and max had shared everything together, from sharing the same dreams to just sharing the simple things of life with one another. however, that was no longer going to happen. a couple of months ago, just short of your three-month wedding anniversary, you passed away from a terminal illness and it completely blindsided both you and your new husband, max. of course it did, no one had expected you to become so ill but, you did and there was nothing that could have stopped it nor could have possibly prevented it from killing you. because it had been detected so late, it was already at the stage of being completely incurable, and not even chemotherapy or any other kind of therapy was able to help prevent it.

tears streamed down max's face as he sat himself down at the new gravestone that had just been put up for you. max verstappen was a well-known formula 1 driver with red bull and right now, he would be driving the british grand prix at silverstone but right now, he had graciously been given bereavement leave by red bull, which was why he was still in the netherlands, at the cemetery where his wife would forever lay. placing the bouquet of flowers on your headstone, max leaned back, sitting back down, grateful that the grass wasn't wet from any rain that was supposedly meant to come through the day before. this was a regular thing for max to do since getting his paid bereavement leave, come down to the cemetery and visit your gravestone. sometimes he'd stay for as short as five minutes to as long as one time he didn't leave the cemetery until it was two minutes from the gate's closing time. but, today, it was obvious for max that today wasn't going to be a day he'd want to stay too long. it was too painful for him to stay any longer than an hour because, for some reason, today was not the best day for him and he just couldn't fathom why.

max sighed, wiping his tears away as he immediately thought up his favourite things about you. saying them in dutch since he remembers just how much you loved it when he'd speak dutch to you. the thing he loved the most about you was your smile. your smile was his favourite thing about you. he was envious of how bright and happy it always was. he then suddenly snickered softly after a memory passed through his mind. the memory wasn't anything too big or dramatic but, it was just a small memory that he wishes he could have held onto forever. it was at your wedding night a couple of months ago just before you guys were set to do your first dance. oh... that was another thing, how he wished he could just have one last dance with you. you were such an amazing dancer that it made up for max's not-so-coordinated dancing considering he was built to be an f1 driver and not a dancer. not that max was an awful dancer however, i mean, he would sometimes do really well when he was messing around or playing just dance on the wii but, he was the worst when it came to freestyle dancing. whereas you were the royal highness of freestyle dancing but most especially contemporary since that was the dancing you were taught the most as a child. which always confused everyone when you and max said you'd known each other since childhood because the question was "how?" since max was always doing karting and you were always doing dance competitions.

you giggled as you noticed your now-husband, max staring at you as you smiled, "waar ben je naar aan het staren?" you giggled as max giggled too as he held you closer, just as you were about to go to the dance floor for you and your husband's first dance as mr and mrs verstappen what are you staring at?

"jouw lach. het is de hele dag niet één keer veranderd. en ik wilde ook alleen maar naar mijn vrouw staren, is dat nu illegaal, mevrouw verstappen?" max teased as you giggled again, your smile staying plastered on your face like it had been the whole day your smile. it's not changed once this whole day. and also, i just wanted to stare at my wife, is that now illegal, mrs verstappen?

"ja, omdat ik blij ben, meneer verstappen. en natuurlijk is het oké dat je naar me staart, en het is niet illegaal, ik was gewoon in de war. bovendien hebben we onze eerste dans en ik wil niet dat mensen op ons wachten," you whispered back as max rolled his eyes as he reluctantly walked out to the dance floor with you yeah, because i'm happy, mr verstappen. and, of course, it's okay for you to stare at me, and it's not illegal, i was just confused. besides, we have our first dance and i don't want people waiting for us

you and max then danced your first dance as the verstappen's and, you couldn't help the smile that stayed on your face. you were so proud of max because he had finally gotten the steps of the first dance correctly. and, like you always told him, he was a good dancer, he just had to focus on the steps but to not forget to also not to overthink it too much, because that's why he'd often mess up during rehearsals. because he'd be overthinking the moves too much as well as worrying about his f1 physique and it would confuse him and that would be the reason why he'd just suddenly stop halfway through their dance rehearsals for their wedding whilst you would just continue.

the guests continued to cheer as you and max ran off the dance floor as everyone else ran onto it so they could continue the party as the slow song that was playing for the first dance was all of a sudden changed to an upbeat track. then, you just kissed max because of how proud you were of him for not overthinking the steps and being so seamless in his dancing. you guys then starting whispering to each other in english, even though you'd usually speak in dutch if you didn't want others hearing you, no one was going to because they were all so focused on the fact that the real party of the wedding had finally started. so you didn't feel like you had to speak in dutch.

"...see, i told you maxie! you can dance! you just did it then and you didn't mess up once, you were perfect!" you bursted out in pride as max smiled, his cheeks going pink

"yeah, because you were with me and you're like, the royal highness of dancing, babe. that's the only reason, if i had to do that entire thing on my own, i'd be falling over and dancing with two left feet!" max rolled his eyes dramatically which made you roll your eyes as well

"oh yeah, that's a lie babe! you weren't overthinking and you weren't trying to do too many things at once, that's why. and besides, you can dance, and you can dance more amazingly then you actually give yourself credit for considering you are a formula 1 driver..." your voice was fading as max was leaving the memory and back to real life when he heard the voice of a slightly younger woman who was sitting down at a gravestone next to him, speaking in dutch, a different contrast to the english between you and max

"...gaat het, lieverd?" the girl asked, noticing that max was now sobbing silently, slightly frightened by the new voice but nodded his head as he smiled at the girl - she couldn't have been any older than twenty-seven are you okay darling?

he then noticed the gravestone that she was kneeling in front of and his heart almost broke. it seemed like she was visiting the grave of her spouse, just like he was.

"ja sorry. het gaat goed met me," max giggled uncomfortably as the girl offered max a tissue, which he gladly accepted as she then moved closer and started asking questions about who's gravestone it was that max was sitting in front of yeah, sorry. i'm fine

"als ik vragen mag, wie zie je dan?" the girl questioned as he smiled, wiping his tears away and sniffled if i may ask, who is it that your seeing?

"mijn vrouw... we waren net een paar maanden geleden getrouwd, maar helaas werd zij binnen een paar weken na ons huwelijk ongeneeslijk ziek en overleed niet lang daarna..." max trailed off as the girl sighed in empathy as she nodded her head my wife...we had just got married a couple of months ago but, sadly, she unfortunately, got terminally ill within a couple of weeks after our wedding and then passed away not long after that

"...en jij? wiens graf is dat?" he then asked softly as the girl smiled in the same way that max had what about you? whose grave is that?

"mijn man... hij is twee jaar geleden overleden, we waren geliefden op de middelbare school en toen kreeg hij niet lang nadat we getrouwd waren ook kanker, net zoals jouw vrouw. Ik weet niet hoe, maar we kwamen er doorheen en toen stierf hij op een avond in mijn armen..." the girl trailed off, however there were no tears as she explained it and it kind of gave max some hope that he'll eventually stop crying when explaining what happened to his own wife my husband...he passed away two-years-ago, we were high school sweethearts and then he developed cancer not long after we got married too, just like your wife did. i don't know how but, we get through it and then, he died in my arms one night

"...oh, het spijt me zo om dat te horen. en als ik het niet erg vind: hoe lang duurde het voordat je stopte met huilen toen mensen je naar hem vroegen?" max questioned with a small sniffle, his tears starting to subside as the girl smiled oh, i'm so sorry to hear that. also, if you don't mind me asking, how long did it take for you to stop crying when people asked you about him?

"persoonlijk duurde het bij mij tot een paar weken geleden, maar dat betekent niet dat het bij jou zo lang zal duren. ik ben niet beschut, ik weet wie je bent, max verstappen, maar als je terugkeert naar de formule 1, zal het je helpen sneller te genezen. misschien duurt het een jaar of misschien zelfs een paar maanden. er is geen goed of fout. als je morgen stopt met huilen, is dat ook goed. en in welke herinnering zat jij toen ik merkte dat je huilde als ik het vraag, want ik heb dezelfde herinnering elke keer als ik hier kom om mijn man te bezoeken," max smiled as the girl asked him that personally, for me, it took around until a couple of weeks ago but, that doesn't mean that it'll take that long for you. i'm not sheltered, i know who you are, max verstappen, but when you return to formula 1, it'll help you heal quicker. maybe it'll take a year or maybe even a couple of months. there's no wrong or right. if you stop crying over it tomorrow, that's okay as well. also, what memory were you in when i noticed you were crying if you don't mind me asking, because i have the same memory every time i come here to visit my husband

"onze eerste dans op onze bruiloft. ik ben uiteraard niet de beste danseres, maar mijn vrouw, zij... zij was de beste danseres ooit. maar eerlijk gezegd was ze een getrainde hedendaagse danseres, dus het is logisch dat ze een betere danseres is dan ik, maar ja. ik geef er alles voor om haar te zien lachen en nog één keer met haar te dansen..." max trailed off as the girl nodded her head and stood up and walked away our first dance at our wedding. i'm not the best of dancers, obviously, but my wife, she...she was the best dancer ever. in fairness to her though, she was a trained contemporary dancer so, it makes sense that she's a better dancer than me but, yeah. i just give anything to see her smile and have one more dance with her

but, before she did walk away, she told max what memory she has about her husband, "...dat is mooi, want ik heb precies dezelfde herinnering aan mijn man en ik op onze bruiloft tijdens onze eerste dans. mijn man was ook een geschoolde hedendaagse danser en was een veel betere danser dan ik..." that's lovely because, i have the same exact memory of my husband and i at our wedding during our first dance. my husband was also a trained contemporary dancer and was a way better dancer than i was

lando norris:

now i'm half the man without you, and it's getting harder every day

lando couldn't breathe. well, he could but barely. it had barely been a couple of days after his best friend harry had dropped dead from what was a suspected suicide attempt and already, lando felt as though he was half the man without his best friend. it felt as though he would never be able to stop crying because it was all he found himself able to do. he was thankful to have you, his wife, your dog, the rest of his family and his formula 1 teammates by his side but, it still didn't feel whole like it would have if his best friend was alive. you could tell that this whole situation of his best friend killing hismelf and then having to rush home from the airport since the next f1 grand prix was supposed to start again after two weeks off to then rush to the hospital to be told his friend had died had exhausted him out. and then, on top of that, because lando was the closest person to his best friend by way of family, lando had to help in the planning of the funeral for his best friend and it was obvious how stressful this was for your grieving husband. the worst part of all was the fact it was being publicised everywhere because of lando's f1 fame. sure, the moment you become famous, basically everything about you becomes public knowledge but, this, this you thought was a little bit too far. who on this earth wants to read a news article about your husband's best friend dying of suicide? well, clearly the oddballs because your eyes widened at how many clicks this certain article that you had accidentally stumbled upon was receiving daily. your heart sank as you then lifted your head up from the image that had been photographed of your husband with the mother of the deceased best friend from a day or two ago to look at your husband, lando, who seemed to have the same sunken, grieving look on his face that he had in the photo.

you threw the tablet down to the bed and extended your hand out to lando who immediately grabbed it, "...what's going on in that head of yours, babe?" you questioned as lando huffed shakily as he shrugged his shoulders

"i...i have no idea, y.n. i'm just so stressed, i..." lando couldn't even finish his sentence because he just started to cry out of the blue - grateful that it was just you two in the house, the family giving the both of you a break

"...oh, honey. i know, it's not easy my love but you are doing so well!" you whispered as you tightly embraced lando as he continued to cry into your shoulder, his body sagged from exhaustion

"is this ever going to get easier?" lando whimpered as he closed his eyes and let the river of tears that welled in his eyes pour down his cheeks as you sighed, hugging your grief-stricken husband tighter

"i think so, lan. not right now because everything's happening so quickly with the planning of the funeral and all the phone calls you and harry's mum have had to make but, i do believe it'll get easier. the hurt you feel currently will start to fade and it won't hurt as much as it does right now. but, how long it'll take, i have no idea," you sighed softly as lando limply nodded his head

you could tell he was so exhausted but, it was the exhaustion that couldn't be fixed with sleep. however, you could tell that he was also tired, one that could be fixed with sleep. so, your heart broke in the knowledge that you didn't know what to do to help your husband. you didn't want to send him upstairs to your guys' room but you knew that the phone calls he and his best friend's mum were doing was causing him so much stress and you just wished you could take his pain away. so, you decided the best thing was for you to send lando up to your guys' bedroom to have a quick sleep while you and his best friend's mum continued the phone calls to the extended family and the rest of the planning that lando was tasked to do alongside his best friend's mum.

"lan, babe, i don't think you're in the right headspace to continue with the phone calls and funeral planning so, go upstairs and have a sleep for about an hour or two and i'll continue the phone calls and help harry's mum with the funeral planning until you wake up again, okay? is that okay with you?" you proposed as you could tell your proposal to help almost made lando cry all over again

"no, y.n, babe, it's fine, i can do it! i just needed to take a breather, i'm fine, i need to do it. harry's mum can't do it on her own, she needs me to help her..."

"...and i understand you want to help harry's mum, i get it, sweetheart. but, babe, look at the state of you, you are not in the right state of mind to be on the phone with his family and the funeral directors. there's a reason why his mum has been attempting to be this strong and it's because she has to. so, i'll ask you again, go upstairs to our room and i'll take care of this. what you need is sleep. you are wrecked and the only way you'll be able to continue is if you rest and take care of yourself. you are not okay, lan, you just lost your best friend..." you trailed off as lando's eyes closed and he covered his face with his hands

you felt awful for making your husband cry again but, it seemed as though lando was still in a battle of the denial and depression stages of grief and it had only been about, two or three days since his best friend passed away.

"...you need to take care of yourself babe, i'm sorry for making you cry again but, you cannot keep overwhelming yourself with these phone calls and everything else of the sort. remember, whilst the others on the grid don't know everything, they still know some of what's going on and like me, they also want to help. so, maybe, it'll be a good thing if you shoot them a quick text in the group chat or ring one of them and, once i've finished a couple of phone calls myself, i'll come upstairs to join you for that nap, deal?" you tried to convince lando but, it seemed like you didn't even need to try since lando just weakly nodded his head in agreement as you smiled softly with a head nod

"okay, i'll text the group chat and have a sleep. thank you, babe, i love you so much," lando whispered as he sauntered over to you and gave you a hug and the sweetest kiss as you smiled and nodded your head

"of course, babe. i didn't just marry you because of how attractive you are," you joked in the hope of getting your husband to giggle and, for a moment, it worked which you nearly screamed the house down over

but, it wasn't until you watched him ring up the group chat, oscar answering, that you truly realised how hard lando had taken the death of his best friend. whilst it brought tears to your own eyes, watching your husband be so grief-stricken and almost lifeless over the phone with oscar and his teammates broke your heart, you knew it was still something that brought that little bit of joy when he got to hear the voices of his f1 grid family on the other line of the phone that made this loss that little bit easier to deal with.

sure, right now, a couple of days after the death of lando's best friend harry was going to be hard and painful but, it wasn't going to stay this painful forever and soon, lando would be able to find it easier to breathe and easier to be without his best friend.

oscar piastri:

i'll never let go, you're the one that keeps me breathing. time slows even though the world keeps spinning

it hadn't even been that long since you and oscar had gotten married in london's west end when the heartbreaking news of oscar's dad's death had been confirmed. you hadn't been at the hospital in london that day since you were running some errands but you knew that oscar was since there was a two week break inbetween the last and next grand prix and that, he'd need you the moment he gave you that specific code word to let you know that your father-in-law had passed away. so, when you received that code word from your husband, you dropped everything you were doing (literally) and you rushed to the car.

you knew that oscar's heart was shattered and that he was barely breathing. even for you, your world was slowing down but you could not imagine how slow oscar's was whilst the world around him kept spinning. so you knew you needed to hurry up because there was only so long oscar could keep his tears to himself before he'd just drop to the floor and cry.

thankfully, you weren't that far away and you had arrived in a whopping five minutes that would normally have been fifteen minutes from where you were to the hospital that mr piastri had been in. and, almost immediately, you could tell by the distraught look on oscar's face that he was seconds from breaking down into tears. so, very quickly, as your world started to speed up to normal speed again and oscar's stayed at slow, you managed to whisk him out of the hospital room and into the privacy of the hospital's waiting room hallway as you held your husband ever so tightly as he just cried and cried and cried.

you couldn't help the tears that streamed down your own cheeks as oscar sobbed hysterically into your shoulders. it seemed like his tears weren't ever going to stop as you rubbed your hand up and down his back in a very futile effort to console him but, it was as though he was inconsolable and you couldn't blame him. you knew exactly what the loss of a parent felt like, you lost your own dad when you were twelve years old, two years after you had met oscar for the first time actually and you just remembered how supportive oscar and his whole family were. but, none were more supportive and helpful in your grief then oscar's dad, when you would sometimes be inconsolable, mr piastri just knew the things to do and say to you that would get those tears to stop and it was only in this moment that you wished you had recorded those words on your phone so that you could play them for oscar right now. because it seemed like no matter what you whispered or did, nothing could possibly help stop oscar's cries of pain, anguish and grief over the loss of his father.

"...i am so sorry, baby. your dad loved you so much. and you were such an amazing son to him as well, never forget that..." you trailed off, slightly disheartened that nothing you could say could console your husband but, you had to remember that this was only hours recent for oscar whereas, for you, it's been up to a decade, even longer since your own dad died

so, you took a deep breath and you pulled out of the hug. which, of course broke your heart because seeing your husband cry was the worst thing in the world for you, you just coached him into taking some deep breaths. because, since he was crying so much and his breathing was uneven, he was going to start to hyperventilate which would send him into a panic attack which was not what you or oscar needed. so, finally, oscar got his breathing under control and his tears slowly but surely started to cease and his wails were no longer loud, the tears were silent and his breathing was slightly shaky. but, this oscar, this oscar was easier to comfort and talk to whereas the other oscar that was sobbing and wailing was not easy to talk to since it wasn't registering in his mind that someone was talking to you, let alone his own wife.

"...osc, my love, do you feel somewhat better?" you whispered after calming down oscar as he shrugged his shoulders after he had hesitated to nod his head yes

"i...i don't know...dad's gone, babe. my dad's dead..." oscar trailed off as tears started to well in his eyes again as you squeezed his hand tightly, telling him that it was okay to cry absolutely but not to work himself up in the state he was before

"...i know babe. i know he's gone but, we need to calm down because we can't help if we're hysterical, alright? so, what do you need to do and what do you want to do? do you want to stay here with your family and ring the important people or do you wanna go home and i can ring everyone from home?" you gave oscar options, knowing if he'd be unsure, he could pick from the options you gave him which, you could tell appreciated as he wiped his tears off his cheeks as he composed himself

"umm, can...can we go home? i can't, i can't stay here anymore..." oscar sniffled as he wiped more tears from his cheeks as you nodded your head

"...of course we can babe, we don't need to say here but, it'll be helpful to tell your mum that we're leaving and if there is anyone we need to call, we can do it for them, okay?" you proposed as oscar nodded his head

"thank you," he whispered, resting his head on your shoulder as you bit your lip, brushing your fingers through his messy hair

"of course, sweetheart. it's not a problem or worry at all. if you need to go back home, we'll go back home," you whispered back and kissed your husband, only wishing you could take his pain and go through it all over again with your dad's death so he didn't have to with his own dad

by the time you and oscar had let mrs piastri know that you guys were going home but if there was anyone they needed to call to lessen the stress on her and everyone else, they'd do it. she thanked you and oscar and said there wasn't anyone in the family they needed to call. but, if you wanted to call his team leader at mclaren and the rest of the f1 grid to let them know, that you could do that because you both knew that oscar would need their help over anyone else's and, you agreed.

even though oscar's world was spinning ever so slowly whilst everyone else's was spinning normally, you promised you weren't going to let his world stay spinning slowly nor would you let it spiral out of control. so, you informed his f1 grid family of the news before the press could and asked if and when they could get over to london that it would be much appreciated since she knew she couldn't console her husband on her own.

but, there was no doubt in your mind that eventually, oscar's world would go back to spinning normally, just right now, it wouldn't be and that was okay. as long as it didn't stay spinning slowly forever, you were okay with that.

charles leclerc:

they say that time can heal a broken heart but i just don't know how this could be true. everyday i see a picture on my wall, my heart is broken into two.

your heart broke as you saw the melancholic look on your husband's face as he looked at the photo of his dad and godfather, herve leclerc and jules bianchi, that was hanging up on the wall of your guys' house. you could tell his heart was breaking into two. yours was as well. mr leclerc had died back in twenty-seventeen when charles was twenty just four days before charles would go on to win the feature race at the twenty-seventeen baku formula two round, two days before mr leclerc died, charles had lied to him saying he had been signed a contract with formula 1. jules, his godfather, dying in twenty-fifteen during a race, two years before herve would die from a terminal illness. two years, they had died within a space of two years and it was too much for anyone to handle however, it had now been a considerable amount of years since both deaths however, it was coming up to the annviersary of his godfather, jules, death. the anniversary of his dad's death just gone in june. charles was so young when he lost his godfather and then two years later, as he's months away from joining formula 1, he loses his dad. it was a grief and a trauma that hung over the ferarri driver constantly. charles adored jules and his father, he loved them more than he thought he could have loved anyone, of course, other than the rest of his family and you, his wife. so, you just knew charles' heart was breaking every single day that passed because the only things he now has left of his dad and godfather were the photos and the videos and the memories they shared together, no longer having the opportunity to create new ones with them ever again.

however, this day, you could tell that charles was thinking about something and it was eating away at him so, you asked him, "what's going on in that head of yours, charles?" you questioned softly, wrapping your arms around his waist as your head rested on his shoulder as he sniffled softly

"something that mum said to us not long after dad had died at jules' grave..." charles sniffled as your heart sank, you knew exactly what it was that charles was going to say since it was not a new thing anymore

"...yeah, what was it?" you asked even though you both knew what it was, you just knew it would be beneficial for charles to say it so, he said it

"they say that time can heal a broken heart but, i don't think that's true..." charles sobbed softly as you hugged him tighter as you sighed

"...your mum lost the love of her life, charles, of course she's going to say that...besides, you guys also lost your godfather two years earlier, what else could she have said..." you trailed off, hoping it wouldn't come off as offensive to your father-in-law and husband's godfather as charles smiled softly

"...i know but, could it be true? can time heal a broken heart?" charles wandered, it was truthfully something he wondered the moment his grief-stricken mother said those words after his dad died whilst at the grave of his deceased godfather

"well, personally, my mum thinks so. i mean, she remarried the man who would become my father after her first love, well, who she thought was the love of her life, died so, i suppose time can heal a broken heart..." you trailed off as charles smiled as he nodded his head

"... mais, le voudriez-vous?" charles then questioned in french, no longer bothered to speak in english as that stumped you, what on earth was your husband talking about now? but, would you?

"je ferais quoi, bébé?" you questioned with a soft giggle as alex scoffed and introduced the thing that's called context would i what, babe?

"est-ce que tu pourrais te remarier avec un autre homme si j'étais mort avant notre mariage et si j'avais eleanor et sage?" charles questioned as this stumped you even more even though you couldn't deny the fact you had thought about this, especially after jules' as you guys weren't old enough to be having kids let alone be in a serious commited relationship yet not so much after mr leclerc's either even though you were now married and had two daughters, you were more focused on the grief of the family that you had no time to think about it after mr leclerc's death would you possibly remarry another man if i had died before we got married and had eleanor and sage?

"well, i don't know, amore. i mean, mum's first husband died because he was terminally ill and knew that he wouldn't stay alive for the two of them to get married and have the timeline that he wanted so, he allowed my mum to fall in love again so she could still have the timeline that she wanted so, that's what she did. she met my dad, fell in love, and then got married and then had her seven kids. but, if you were to die on me now with our two kids and the third on the way, who knows what i'd do because maybe i won't or maybe i will fall in love again but, because i'm not in that situation, i have no idea... what about you, would you remarry if i died?" you responded with your answer, switching back to english seamlessly and then asked charles the same question as he sniffled, wiping away his tears

"well...yeah, i don't know. maybe if weren't already married and with our three kids, i'd consider marrying again but, because i'm with you and have our three kids, i don't think i would because you're all i want in my life...and, i think that's why mum said that..." charles trailed off as tears continued to stream down his face which you could tell was starting to slightly annoy him

"...yeah? because she knew there was no one else that she would love the same way or as greatly as she loved your father. as well as she knew that no matter how long it had been since the loss of both jules and your father, that she felt like time would never make it better. and it's true, some people who do become widows or widowers don't ever get married or even find another person because their person before was the only one for them and in their minds, there was no one else for them but that one person..." you trailed off as charles nodded his head, you could tell the cogs in his head were spinning so you allowed him and waited for his next thought

"...i just, i still can't believe, after so many years, that both jules and dad are gone, like, they're never coming back, babe..." charles' voice broke off at the end as his eyes widened once he realised what he had just said as your heart broke

"...oh, babe..." you trailed off as you turned charles around into your embrace, away from the photo on the wall and let him cry into your shoulder

you knew that charles just wished he could see his dad and godfather again instead of having to constantly look at the photos and the memories of his dad and godfather. but, you also knew that he knew that jules and mr leclerc were always going to be with him, whether that was on the f1 track or in his everyday life. you just hoped he knew that you were also going to always be with him no matter what.

fin

okay, this one was kinda messy and i'm pretty sure the european languages to english were dodgy as fuck but at this point i'm proud of myself alright? also, i'm sorry that this was super depressing, for those who are reading my books for the first time, depressing shit and angst is kind of my specialty but, in saying that, i do write happier and fluffier stuff, i just write angsty shit a whole lot better and seamlessly without making it awkward. also, just as a disclaimer, this was not at all meant to be disprespectful to those real people that have been lost in the real-life context of this one-shot since it was only two people and that was jules bianchi and herve leclerc since the other three were completely fictional deaths.

#formula one #angst #max verstappen x fem!reader #lando norris x fem!reader #oscar pisatri x fem!reader #charles leclerc x fem!reader #always with me

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