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#am I doing something wrong? is it the settings? idk
thir10th · 22 hours
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hi love! i'd like to req emily smut, maybe a little more on the rough side if you'd be comfortable with that, where she gets jealous over reader and shows that through sex
if you want something less vague, it could be when reader brings emily lunch to her office and morgan keeps flirting with her, leading to some action in emily's office
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I'll be doing these two together cause why not. I hope you don't mind! thanks for requesting, and I hope you liked it!!
jealousy - Emily Prentiss x fem!reader
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summary: see the asks, it's a mix of both, it kind of took a turn, but i hope you still enjoy it! tw: jealousy, a very poor try at dom Emily, fingering, breast play?, idk tws are so hard once you've finished writing🥲, i think that's it lmk if i'm missing smth a/n: no idea if there's a way for me to link both asks here, someone lmk if there is
It's only 8.00 am when you enter the police station, two bodies in the past 12 hours required the early hours, everyone had to be focused, your mind had to be only in one place. However, this wasn't the case for all the people on that room.
The local police officer at the head of the case had some other things in his mind.
He starts by boldly checking you out, looks at you up and down, stopping and staring at the short tank top you were wearing, which makes you uncomfortable enough to cover yourself with your arms as much as you can.
The look your girlfriend sends to him doesn't go unnoticed to you, you start to believe she will set him on fire just with her stare, she places herself covering your body to shake his hand, which she gripes a bit too harder than the usual.
If you didn't know her any better, you would say she is jealous.
But there was just no way, right? Emily Prentiss doesn't get jealous, she's too confident for that, she has you so well wrapped around her finger, she doesn't need to be jealous. Right?
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
"so you think this... unsub like you call him, could be on a killing spree because of his mother?" the agent asks you, staring at the last picture you just sticked to the board with a puzzled look.
"we're positive, we've seen this modus before, it's a clear pattern" you explain
"ugh, so talking about mommy issues" you can't help the little snicker that scapes your lips.
He looks triumphant, fully believes he's got you under his spell. He couldn't be more wrong.
The familiar hand that slides behind you on your lower back makes you jump, Emily comes around you, standing closer than she usually does.
"hey, what were you talking about?" she asks, tilting her head.
"oh, nothing just the case" you say, unbothered.
"just the case huh?" you turn your head to see how she's staring at him, as he walks away from you both.
"Em? what is it?" you ask suspicoisly.
"nothing, i just don't understand, what could be so funny if you were just talking about the case..." she says sarcastically
"oh my god" you try to keep your voice down, but the excitement is still noticeable "oh my god, Emily, you're jealous!"
"what? What do you mean I'm jealous?" her voice a couple octaves higher, making it so obvious to you she's lying.
"that's not even a real answer!" you say.
"ugh..." she lets out one of those little sounds she always makes when she knows she's been caught, you think it's adorable.
"ok, so maybe... maybe I just... don't like the way he looks at my girlfriend, so sue me!" she tries defending herself, but you couldn't take it seriously for your life, you find it adorable, the slight pink tinting her cheeks, her reassuring hand still resting on your lower back.
"Emily, c'mon, you know i love you" you kiss her cheek, she kisses you back but still doesn't look so convinced.
The thing is, you could not be any less attracted to that man, there was no way in the world you would find his flirting any appealing, but the idea of teasing Emily sounds too exciting.
A little fun never hurt anyone, right?
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
"...hellooo, earth to Prentiss?"
Morgan waves a hand in front of Emily’s face and she’s brought back to reality.
"what?" she asks.
"i said, could you please put your frown away, you're scaring Reid" Spencer doesn't even hear the comment, too focused on the case file to even pay attention to the conversation that was taking place right beside him.
"my frown is just where it has to be, thank you" she says raising an eyebrow at that.
Derek gives a scoff, and Rossi chuckles at the whole stupidity of the situation. “If y/n can’t feel your stare burning a hole in her back, when she turns and sees you, she’s sure gonna think you're planning a murder.”
"i might just be" she mutters
"I think I know what's going on" Rossi intervenes "she isn't looking at y/n" he explains pointing at you "I think someone might be jealous"
You are only a few feet away, discussing your last findings with the detective, trying to laugh at every little thing he says, making sure Emily is watching.
"I'm not jealous" she defends "she is so clearly not interested, but what if she needs me to step in?" her attempt to make up a good excuse isn't good enough for any of them to buy it
"if that helps you, but all i can hear is jealousy" a big, cocky smile spread on Morgan's face, it's only making her angrier
"c'mon, or we will too have to face the consequences of the territorial monster of jealousy when it explodes" Rossi says, dragging Morgan away
"yeah, mark your territory" Morgan laughs, while Emily gives him the finger "go get her lover!"
It's your loud chuckle that draws the line for her. When you finally get away from the persistent officer, you turn to see Emily isn't there anymore, taking your phone you see 2 new message from her.
From Em💕: you better knock your shit off baby.
From Em💕: That's it. You're so in for it later.
That one makes your heart throb, it shortly makes you wonder if you had taken it too far. This was not gonna end well for you.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Hotch decides to call it for the day, sending you off to start fresh in the morning, when a male voice you had heard enough already, calls your name
"Agent, I was wondering if you would be in for a drink with me?" he asks, eyeing you up and down yet again.
You are so sure you would find it just as disgusting if you weren't so gay, and so in love with your girlfriend.
"oh, sorry but no, actually, I-" a much more familiar female voice interrupts you "she's with me" Emily says.
He can't believe his eyes, Emily wraps her arm around your waist pulling you close to her body "hi babe" she says, kissing your lips, you return the kiss, a bit amused at her jealousy, but loving the possessiveness she was showing.
"Sorry, you were saying?" she asks, the man still open-mouthed, he can't bring himself to even speak.
"nothing... ugh, good night, agents" he dismisses you, and walks away defeated.
Emily and you head out of the bullpen, her arm still securely wrapped around your waist, she slides her hand on your back pocket, grabbing a handful of your ass possessively, making you chuckle.
"wanna talk about it?" you ask her innocently
"oh we are gonna be doing a bit more than talking you and me"
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Emily doesn't even leave time for the door to close, and you have a split second to register your thoughts before she closes the door and walks over in one long stride and slams you into the wall.
Her mouth attacks yours in a hungry, desperate kiss, her tongue invading in a fight for dominance, that you just let her win, she is determined to have her way with you, and you aren't going to stop her.
She wasted no time in getting her hands on you, roughly rubbing her hands over your exposed skin. You, however, delicately placed your arms around her neck and when you both pulled apart to breathe.
"what's wrong, Em?" you ask her, breathlessly
"you know what? For starters, I didn't like the way he was looking at you" she starts, her breath warm against your skin, she lowers her head getting your neck, kissing it so sweetly you feel you could melt
she is quick to find your pulse point, mouth-opened kisses all over your skin, she nips all over your spot, which makes you moan
"but then imagine my surprise when i saw you, flirting back" her hand finds her way underneath your shirt, reaching for your breast, she finds no more resistance as you aren't wearing a bra, your other nipple peaking through your shirt in excitement.
She uses her free hand to grip your ass, you jump at the feeling whimpering on her mouth, her closeness only making you more excited.
"but you don't like him, do you, baby?" she asks, teasing you, she leaves a soft kiss on your lips
"he wouldn't stand a chance, we both know men aren't really your type" Emily says lowly, nipping at the tender spot behind your ear. 
She slips her leg between yours, a soft moan escapes your lips.
"so you just wanted to make me jealous" you're too deep in her dominance to even register anything, letting out soft whimpers every time her thumb brushes against the nub and grips the soft skin of your breast
"god... Emily" you let out, as Emily pulls your thighs apart with her hand.
"you know, baby, if you wanted me to fuck you, you could've just asked" she attacks your neck again, sucking hard enough to leave purple marks you couldn't care any less about now.
Emily presses her fingertips against the crotch of your jeans "your clothes. Take them off or I'll rip them off" she commands, taking a step back from you, leaving too little space to maneuver.
You knew better than to tease her when she was like this. A shiver of excitement runs through your back, and you comply.
You take your jeans off then, your shirt, quickly throwing them somewhere far on the room.
You move to kiss her again, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her in for a kiss, but she doesn't let you, instead she grabs you by your thighs, lifting you up.
You wrap your legs around her waist, she carries you to bed, laying you down just harshly enough to make you even more excited for whats to come.
"you are gonna do exactly what i ask you to tonigh, you know why, baby?" you hold your breath, you're not sure if she actually wants you to answer, but you try nonetheless "because I'm yours"
Your answer seems to satisfy her, as she begins kissing her way down your body, taking special care to nip at your collarbone and stomach to leave more marks than the one's on your neck.
The soft cloth of her shirt rubs against your skin and as if just now realising she was still dressed, you grab the hem of her shirt and help her take it off, throwing it somewhere in the vicinity of the room, like you had done with your own clothes.
And not a moment later, she is back to kissing your body, stopping suddenly when she reached the hemline of your underwear.
Her hand navigates down them, she dips low enough to collect your arousal on her fingertips before rubbing your clit forcefully. Your body reacts immediately, curling forward. "Em!" you moan
"what's wrong baby? Cat got your tongue? use your words, if you want me to stop the teasing, just say it"
"fuck...Em, please, I'm yours, please Emily, yours" you confirm, closing your eyes and letting your hips rock against her hand.
“Who are you this wet for?” Emily demands, nipping at your earlobe.
"just you" you whimper, desperation starting to build in your lower stomach
"that's right baby" the cocky smile on her lips makes your eyes roll. You obviously loved slow, romantic love making with your grilfriend, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't love this side of her just as much.
She continued to move her fingers inside of you and you met each thrust but you almost fell apart when she pressed her thumb against your clit and rubbed hard.
She uses her free hand to play with your breast, you let out a gasp when her tongue moves over it spurred you on and she begins to gently suck on it while her hand still caressed your other breast. 
You melt into the mattress at her words. "let go, c'mon baby, I got you" you cum on the spot, as she fucks you through your orgasm, she let's you ride your high.
Emily lays down beside you as you come down from the climax, she kisses your lips softly, lovingly this time, less urgent.
"you know i didn't mean any of it right? I was just playing with you, i love you. He didn't stand a chance" you try to clarify
"yes baby, i know, i love you too, i wasn't so harsh with you right?" she asks concerned. Sometimes you can't believe how Emily's mood changes so fast, from all dominating, incredibly sexy, to concerned, soft girlfriend.
"Em, it was perfect" you say, grabbing her face and pecking her lips "you are perfect" you kiss her again.
"well, good, because we're just getting started, i'm not sure you've learned your lesson yet" she grins.
"Like i said, I'm all yours, agent Prentiss" she sits to straddle you, and you grab her face to pull her in for another kiss.
Emily caresses your neck with her thumb, looking at the purple marks she had previously left "this will be hard to cover tomorrow"
"who says I'm covering them?"
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Sitting on your usual spot on the plane, you lay behind Emily's amr, resting your head on her shoulder as she reads.
You aren't oblivious of the look on Morgan's face, right in front of you.
The shirt you chose had your neck and cleavage all on display, small and big purple marks cover your skin.
He stares bluntly at you, a cheeky smile covering his face "So y/n, looks like you and Prentiss had yourselves a good night. Care to share?"
Emily gives him the finger.
"in your dreams" you say.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
wow! a lot longer than i expected it to be! finishing this one gave me a headache so please like and reblog if you liked it, and as always feedback is greatly appreciated! <333 reqs still open as always!
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coyzie · 3 hours
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~~Spoilers for tma & tmagp~~
This is a follow up from my last post, which you can find here. You don’t need to have read it, but it’ll help explain some of the stuff I’ll talk about in this theory.
Basically, in my last post I presented the theory that “The Protocol” is fire, and that fire has been used to destroy major supernatural threats for centuries. Stepping away from that for a minute, let’s look back at tma.
After the original series ended, some fans noticed something interesting about the podcast’s logo.
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What most people assumed to be broken glass in the background is in fact a web, a spiderweb, a spiderweb made from cassette tapes. The ending to tma was literally right there the whole time! But other than it being a sneaky design choice, why am I bringing this up? And what does it have to do with my fire theory? Well, let’s now look at the logo for The Magnus Protocol.
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Here we can see the O.I.A.R logo on a computer screen, most likely one of the computers in the office. There appears to be sparks scattered across the image, and if you look closely you can also see faint dark smudges across it too. So, what does this mean? Well, we know things are started to heat up at the OIAR with Sam investigating the Magnus Institute, Alice having supernatural encounters, Gwen meeting with externals, and whatever the hell is going on with Celia. It’s safe to say that it’s all going to go horribly wrong and something very bad will happen at the office. For example, maybe an external will attack the OIAR as hinted by Lena in ep 16. It is my belief that Starkwell will have to step in to stop whatever horrible things unfold at the office by initiating The Protocol. Meaning, those aren’t sparks in the tmagp logo, they’re embers! And the dark smudges are smoke from the fire. The series will end with the OIAR dramatically burning down, possibly killing some characters in the process (we all know how Jonny loves to kill off characters.)
Or maybe Colin just snaps and sets the computers on fire idk, let me know what you think.
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cashweasel · 2 years
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Give me this one pls 😌 (also why are all ur other canvases so small fhskfjskdj)
No cause even I couldn’t remember which one this was I had to search for it by canvas size 😂😂 I believe it was this one lol… (warning possible suggestive content)
A comic based on a conversation jdgdhd. It has potential I just need to muster the courage to clean it up and render it (+ the remaining 8 pages). That moment when you’re living the role and the prince finds you on his throne in his clothes and it ends up being the last time you were seen alive shhshsdhj
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obeymetournaments · 25 days
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Please for the love of god, change the way you do the polls. I am begging. Please have the votes be for which outfit is better, not which outfit is worse. It's so deeply ingrained that Polls are for voting for the "correct" option or the "best" option, Polls are for voting for the option you want to win. There's been several times now where I've voted for the wrong outfit, because by brain is just so hard wired to vote for the option I want to win. The blog is the only one I've ever seen where things are backwards and Polls are for voting for the worst option. Please, I can't be the only one who's made this mistake?
the whole point is to find the worst outfit--it's what everyone voted on back when I asked what type of poll I should make. Yes I am sure many of made this mistake (hell, i have done so nyself a plethora of times on different polls), but it's fine. It's literally a tumblr poll for dumb outfits who care if you accidently selected the wrong outfit. I also feel as though changing things so far in will make people do the same thing and make a mistake as well, if they are used to how i format it right now. Of course if more people want me to change it, I will, but we're also like official halfway done (more than that, actually). Again it really isn't that big of a deal imo, but if more want me to change it, I will
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beananium · 7 months
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oh its all so painfully real
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torchickentacos · 1 year
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hot take but I think that those youtubers who 'expose' alleged mental illness or medical condition fakers are doing more harm for the rhetoric surrounding mental illness-and the people who really have it-than the people supposedly faking it to begin with.
#i mean neither are good but like#what they do is set a precedent of doubt whenever someone makes (mental) illness claims#it sets a precedent of finding and uncovering people who fake it and is just very bad imo.#inevitably i think this makes life ahrder for people who experience these conditions#especially for those who myabe have it but don't check off every symptom#and have to worry about maybe being seen as a faker since they don't have the msot extreme or visible case#idk. just rambling#worth noting this usually goes for things i do not have so i cannot in detail give opinions on specific diagnoses that this trend applies t#to*#however i do stand by this opinion as of right now#at worst. fakers spread misinformation and monetize/benefit from mental illness they do not have#at worst the people who expose this set a societal and online culture revolving around finding out who's REALLY got things#and who REALLY experiences it#which just. is icky. you aren't entitled to knowing anything about anyone's medical history.#plus imo if someone goes out of their way to fake something for attention then. there's probably a mentally ill brain doing it#like ok you don't have whatever you're claiming but like. mentally well people don't fake things like that usually#is this a cold take?????? like if i'm wrong then i AM open to other opinions and i'll change mine#but my initial opinion on this is it icks me out#inabber this is a pointed message. iirc he also made amber heard jokes#which like. i think no matter what side you're on with that#maybe. don't joke about domestic abuse. or alleged abuse if that's your stance on it.#like either way that's just shitty#ANYWAYS.
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trans-cuchulainn · 1 year
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i guess the reason so many books featuring trans characters have them able to go stealth and make it so other characters don't know they're trans unless they say something is because that's an escapist fantasy for many trans authors who don't get that and want to imagine what it's like to live in a world where you don't get misgendered on sight every single day, and because they don't want to write about the latter (very fair)
but also when these are YA books it depends on the characters being able to medically transition at like 14 and i have literally never in my life met a single person who was able to do that (partly because I live in the UK where you can't and also I am old enough that for people my age, coming out as a preteen would've been way harder and rarer than it would be for current teen-aged protagonists)
so idk. i would like to read a book with trans characters who feel like real people living in the real world occasionally. it's hard to walk a path when you never get to see other people do it first and never get to witness it safely in fiction before you experience it IRL, and only ever seeing people walk roads that don't even exist in your reality doesn't really help at all tbh
#i have mostly only read fantasy and historical adult books with trans protags#aside from Confessions of the Fox i guess. which is still 50% historical#but i never come across contemporary-set adult books with trans protagonists#compared to the growing contemporary trans YA scene#this may be that i am looking in the wrong places#but i can more easily find historical trans romance than a novel with a relatable 20 or 30something transmasc protag#oh i did read detransition baby i guess. but it didn't really speak to me for various reasons#(most of them to do with me being trans in a different direction but not all of them)#anyway idk. i read a lot of YA because a lot of my friends write YA and it is easy for me to find things#but even though i am glad there are trans YA books now I can't relate to them at all#i guess because I didn't know i was trans as a teenager#so the trans teenager experience is always inherently one i did not have#i am looking for something that will never be what i need it to be#i want coming of age and self discovery and all that because I don't feel like I've DONE it yet in gender terms#that's why i want the YA vibes but. i guess as a 27yo still trying to do that I'm not going to find it there. not meaningfully#so i need novels about adults coming of age and figuring shit out and being newborn baby trans adults i guess. where are those#and nobody is allowed to be cool in those books because i am unable to continue reading about cool people sorry#néide has opinions about books
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Behind every great warrior woman is another woman who is choosing kindness. For now.
#this is about io & laezel#ive been thinking about their dynamic esp since i plan on having them go do the whole revolution thing#also trying to workshop their tag/title/ship name#'calloused hands heavy hearts' is nice but im not sure it quite fits?#silver is a throughline b/c of the silver swords and eilistraee#some of the taglines have clicked immediately and some of them are. not doing that#but ive been thinking about these two w/in the healer x warrior framework#and how their backgrounds affect that#io *knows* how to fight. they're always ready for that possibility (eventuality really) since. you know.#holy war anti-lolth rebellion etc etc#but they were *exclusively* a healer pre-game. they hadn't even really left the baldur's gate area#and also. the importance of both warriors *and* healers during revolutions and rebellions#literally and figuratively#those on the front lines will run out of steam quickly without people supporting & sustaining them#something something kindness is not softness. softness is not weakness. weakness is not a moral wrong#something something a hard stone will grind itself to dust without something to cushion it#both io & lae'zel have calloused hands if for different reasons#one set of skills is not more important than the other. they compliment each other even#'new growth'? maybe? you can't grow a garden w/o both pulling up weeds and carefully tending to it#idk if this makes sense but. i am turning them around in my head#sticking them under a microscope#bg3#bg3 tav#my post#jay rambles#io dein#(im having trouble with their epithet too but that's a ramble for another time)#woman* (nb woman. she's trans femme and her gender shifts around a bit. 'woman' is the cliffnotes version)
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scare-ard--sleigh · 2 months
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okay like I had to make Tweaks to a tech article i submitted, which included writing up a meta title (of which i just grabbed the first half of the actual title) a meta description (the description you see on google that no one actually looks at) and bumping down the Grammarly 'plagiarism' score from 3% down to 2% (changing the wording around in 2 sentences) and i'm just like . why do we even have editors lmao like what are we paying those people for .
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jinstronaut · 10 months
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Ok love what you’re doing to gif jin daily however could we change up the clips you’re posting? I feel like I’ve been watching him apply cream for a week straight 😂💗
hi!!!! so let me just be really frank you with -- i'm doing this for free! and i have two (2!!) days off a week, and i have to make certain content last longer so i HAVE clips to post. for free!!!!! to me, as jin is my ult bias, i don't even care if i watch him put face cream on four days in a row -- i'm just happy to see his face and i love and miss him so so much!!!!!!!
so i'm sorry if sometimes things feel repetitive, however!!! as of right now, i've made over 700 gifs!! and we're only in the 200s out of 543 days!!!! so think about how many MORE gifs i get to make during this process!!!!!!!!!!
so you'll forgive me if i stretch things out sometimes so i don't 1) go insane hunting out a million things to clip, 2) use up my 48 hours of free time making gifs non stop like a machine, and 3) get creative block and stop the series altogether when i really, really don't want to do that!!
i'm a very very nice person and i'm very very kind and i never really say anything, but this message (as kindly intended as it could have been) really just... does not read the way you think it does, nonnie! so please remember that people like me -- content creators -- spend all of our time doing the things we do for FREE! i have to find the content, clip the content, color the content, and upload the content all by myself! and i never, ever complain, so please just think about these things before you complain about 3 gifsets (out of over 200!!!) being from the same sequence :) thank you so much!
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rose-n-gunses · 5 months
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Occasionally I'll see posts where people talk about feeling alienated from their peers growing up and I'll be like hey same except for the fact that like. I wasn't bullied and I had friends and I "fit in" and such so I feel like I must not be as different as I think or maybe I'm more "normal" than I feel but then like. Sometimes I go out with people my own age and I'm like yeahhhh we are not the same
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wormeats · 2 months
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I fell for propaganda and was turned against those I have always wanted to root for
I wanted to send this to the CDC somehow, but the email contact form on their website has a character limit and I'm incapable of being concise. I thought this might be helpful for some people to see because it took me a while to reflect on.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, living in Florida, being young and trans and traumatized by the current political climate and dangers posed by the pandemic, I was swayed by likely a mix of propaganda and a fear and anger response to the amount of stress that time came with. I found myself trusting in the CDC less because of several things that I never fully examined until now recently. It was all just a mix of fear and hopeless rage about public health and my fears about our political climate, and much of that was directed at the CDC. Upon examining this recently, I think this was because I assumed the CDC had more power than it may actually have in enforcing public health. I thought isolation periods could be more solidly mandated, that mask wearing could be solidly mandated, and so on. I assumed the CDC had more control over when schools reopened for children (I now realize a lot of this is controlled by states individually or even more locally), and in my fear of the pandemic and distrust in the CDC sowed by being worried about the country as a whole, I even failed to fully weigh the consideration that virtual learning has a significant impact on Anyone’s mental health and that for children especially, social and emotional development should be fostered and that is an issue that gravely concerns mental health extending to the rest of their lives. I thought the CDC could require employers to keep allowing employees to have sick days when testing positive, so they wouldn't have to make a choice between risking their job and livelihood versus strangers’ physical health and possibly risking permanent damage or death for some with no way to tell (I'm grateful that the risk has been reduced so much by vaccines/boosters and being cautious with masking and washing hands, but I feel it is so important to allow isolation away from work when it concerns transmission and health and recovery). I particularly was swayed more into distrust when I heard that Delta airlines wrote a letter asking the CDC to update isolation periods for vaccinated individuals who would still be required to mask, believing there was no new data to give confidence to such a change in recommendations (10 day isolation period to 5 day isolation and next 5 days with a mask), but found there explicitly was reasoning given on the CDC update from that time available to view on the website’s archives (these have been very helpful because the time of all of this was an emotional traumatizing blur, so specifics are hard to remember). Before I examined this all more after the fact, this led me to believe that the CDC was influenced by economic concerns and the workforce instead of public health and keeping those workers alive and healthy, and furthered my distrust.
I am glad that now I have further examined where this distrust has come from and found that it was irrational on my part, and I regret that I carried on with this tainted view of the CDC for so long. I have struggled with this because I did have a strong trust in the CDC and felt more unsure of where I should find reliable information, knowing the CDC certainly has more expertise than I and has likely devoted a lot of time and research to any particular consideration I might come up with. I hope if others were similarly swayed by political propaganda that sought to utilize fear and stress from the pandemic, that they too come to reexamine how they came to think that way and find trust in this institution of scientists who are clearly passionate about public health and finding ways to keep all of us safe with many unpredictable variables to consider. I feel very ashamed that I allowed my trust in the CDC to be shaken to this extent. I hope scientific research, public health concerns, environmental concerns, and any crisis that requires humanity to understand facts and cooperate is taken more seriously and listened to from experts in each respective field and not turned into political opinions one way or the other. I am so devastated by all the damage COVID has done that feels like it could've been so preventable if this didn't become a political issue and remained a public health crisis to work through cooperatively. I have now come to see that I think the CDC did as much as it could through all of this with all of the consideration at the time and with its limited influence amidst political stress.
Thank you everyone at the CDC, I am sorry that I fell for this propaganda, and I would like to talk to as many people in my life about addressing propaganda and fully considering that no one is fully safe from falling prey to propaganda and biases we don't realize are tainting our full view. Thank you again so much for everything incredible that you have done for humanity. Be kind to yourselves everyone, shit has been so hard honestly.
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blu-bat · 1 year
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thinking about my relationship with fashion and being nonbinary and being black and I simply can't forgive the white queers for making me think the "default" nonbinary was just being skinny and masc
but also shoutout to all the nonbinary poc (especially black nonbines) that break that stigma. goes to show that even in the grander scheme of the alphabet mafia you still need your own communities to resonate with
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joyridingmp3 · 8 months
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boss just sat me down and basically asked what's wrong with me again
#i went home sick last friday and i guess someone said i did something wrong at work#when im 99% sure i didn't??#anyway. they also think I've been quieter lately#i feel bad. im mad because of the whole situation with my shitty coworker#but my boss slipped up and said 'we're friends - well. sorry. we're not /friends/ I'm your boss but -'#so clearly he views me as a friend but is trying to set professional boundaries#I just feel guilty#i don't even know why this is getting to me so much#i guess it feels like someone just listed off all of the things I'm doing wrong and pointed them out to me#and that paired with the fact that I was caught off guard by it#i hate being caught off guard#idk#anyway the apartment cat came over to hang out for a bit but she was distant#so the perceived rejection really hit me#i swear to god i don't realise how insane i am til i write all this out#anyway. i don't have any drugs left other than some random opioids#which is basically russian roulette#in terms of dosage because they're all wildly different#so I'll probably stay sober tonight#which is for the best :/#if I want to wake up on time to work tomorrow#it's not even anything. im mostly just trying to avoid my creepy shitty coworker#but i can't say that! so i guess everyone just thinks i hate them noe#now*#and they probably all secretly hate me#since he said that a few people have mentioned that I've been quieter lately#so I'm not even doing a good job putting up my ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ facade#which is like. my only skill and asset#anyway. time to think about dying and never eat again ig#mine
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bulletsfrank · 1 year
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some days i do feel like envy in his little tiny grub form from fmab. i just want love and i’ve been treated so badly by myself and everyone around me and the WORLD even that i have become so bitter and cold and jealous and i hate it. i want the love everyone else has so bad it makes me ill. but i can’t find it because i’m so closed off due to past trauma and friendships that ended badly. too scared of ridicule, too scared of being unliked, too scared of being anything besides what i am now, which is completely alone and devoid of any real human connections. anything else feels like knives. i cant be close to anyone because i feel like i’m putting a burden on them.
my existence is a burden. to be my friend, to be close to me, is a burden that is insurmountable. i wish i could be okay with the loneliness. i wish i could be okay waking up to nothing on my phone. i wish i could be okay without people thinking of me. but i want the warmth so badly. that’s all i’ve ever fucking wanted and i never got it. ever since i was tiny and begging my mom and dad to stop fighting. there was no time of softness for me. i just want to fall into love like a pillow. friends holding a cake that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY (i have never had a single birthday party) and we watch movies and play games and i don’t wonder where the love is for me.
i don’t think i’ll ever be brave enough. so alone i have to be. i’m really sorry to myself for this. i wish i could be stronger and reach out, but my arm is cut off at the crook. i cant reach any farther, i don’t have anything left to give.
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guubiiz · 12 days
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heartslabyul would be named my favorite dorm if i didn’t despise riddle.
#he’s just ......#if you don’t like him either you understand#( though i relate to riddle as a character i don’t like him for some reason )#he can be a lil’ bit silly a times ( and i mean LITTLE ) but most of the time he’s still just as unlikeable and an asshole as when we-#-first met him#i feel like a lot of the “development” is just at the end of their ob’s n’ never actually happens#idk .. the only dorm leaders i can confidently say i like as characters is leona vil n’ kalim#leona is like .. barely passing as one but i think that he’s shown to be v emotionally intelligent and i like that#vil is an absolutely wonderful character. he’s not my fav but i honestly think he’s the best character ( lilia being second )#and kalim is v v sweet ( though he’s portrayed as dense ). i think he has so much potential and it’d be wonderful if something ever happened#for the others-#idia i can relate to as a game lover n’ extreme introvert / people avoider. but he’s such a fucking dick n’ he’s got this giant superiority-#-complex but he also has an inferiority complex ??? idk when i finished watching through book 6 i didn’t really feel bad for him at all.#ortho i did but idia was still a mega bitch at the end.#azul is an absolute loser ( negative ) n’ i still think book 3 is ( n’ always will be ) the weakest#he gets the “handsome glasses” pass n’ also because i am an ursula lover#jamil ( since he ob ) is a character i LIKE but he is also just a bitch#his char development is near non-existent#kalim “set him free” or whatever the hell but it feels like his life is still centered around him? ik he’s still his servant but i wish-#-that jamil was shown as being his own person now.#and he literally thinks he’s better than everyone ... good lord.#book 6 was almost unbearable when watching him n’ leona’s part#malleus is soooooo fucking annoying atp. he’s not handsome sexy dragon he’s annoying ass crybaby. sorry but after his ob reason it’s just-#-more true.#DON’T GET ME WRONG#I LOVE ALL OF THE CHARACTERS AND WHAT THEY’RE MEANT TO DO THEY DO V WELL#BUT GOD DO THEY PISS ME OFF SOMETIMES#they all have their good moments and they have their bad.#anyway this was just a rant. don’t expect this to be read#half of these thoughts don’t really make sense since i’m shoving them into the tags
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