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#america is so silly sometimes
steakout-05 · 7 months
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very long post about how i as an Australian think the American date structure is silly and confusing under the cut
as an Australian i already think America is pretty funny, like the imperial system is both confusing and incredibly funny to me, but what i really don't get is the way dates are written in America
like.... for context, in Australia, we write days like day/month/year. and i like this because the most important information is the thing you read first. you want to know what day it is, you just look at the first two digits you see and you're done!! in some other counties like Japan and South Korea, they write it like year/month/day, which i also think is ok because it's still in a cohesive and easy to read order. you just go to the end of the date to see what day it is and it's simple!! it's all good! it's easy to read! this is nice!
but for some reason, the dates in America are written like month/day/year and i'm just..... i'm so confused!?!??!? why would you jump to the MIDDLE of the date to see what day it is???? it's so cluttered and jumpy and trying to read it in order is just... kinda irritating. the most important and immediately needed information is shifted to the middle of the date ans then you gotta go back and then jump forward again if you wanna read the whole thing and i'm just. actually bamboozled at that. who did that. who is responsible for that blunder at the workplace. i will find them and i will break their kneecaps and i-
ALSO you have no idea how many times this date format has absolutely screwed up schedules and post dates for me. imagine that there's like an online event or something coming up and they have a schedule for what day they're holding it, but it's just written like 05/03/2024. my Australian ass is going to read that as the 5th of March 2024, but someone in America is gonna read that is the 3rd of May 2024. do you see how confusing this can become. there is zero distinction between the two dates because they're written in the exact same way but have a different structure. this is fine for dates that go over the number 12 or are the same number, but it's still confusing and frustrating, especially when the website doesn't say what timezone setting you're on or won't let you change it (which some of them don't). it's quite a specific issue but it's still an issue and i hate it i don't like it i want it fixed please patch
maybe i just have a more logical way of thinking and i like having things be in order, but goddamn just write your dates properly i can't take it anymore /nsrs
#america is so silly sometimes#not that australia is any better lol but y'know#this post isn't really that serious i just find the month/day/year format to be weird#like why is it so jumpy???? america explain#i never saw how this is convenient or easy to read in any way it's structured so oddly and i just#it's a really america-specific way of writing dates and literally everyone else (except for a couple other countries) will be confused by i#america always has a really specific way of doing things....#like the imperial system for example. i don't think there's many other countries that use that system and yet#like idk wtf a yard is!!! what is that!!!! what is a yard!!!!#one thing i don't get is miles. why is it a little more than a kilometre. why is it used as a synonym for kilometre. just use kilometre#i'm like that meme that goes ''WTF IS A KILOMETRE!!'' except i'm yelling ''WTF IS A MILE!!!'' in a thick aussie accent#miles are really kinda confusing though... why are you using a measurement that's a kilometre plus 600 metres?#why not just use kilometres? it's more structured and doesn't muddle everything up by adding an extra 600 metres-#-to every kilometre you travel#maybe i just don't understand math very well (which i don't) (to the point where i might actually have dyscalculia)#but i feel like using a measurement that just adds a decimal of like 600 metres gets really confusing to read and figure out#decimals are just confusing in general#they're like in-between numbers sometimes but also not?? i don't get em#speaking of decimals and dates again the pi day thing doesn't really work over here in australia#it would actually be 14/03/2024 here#lots of date jokes don't work here and i'm slightly angry at that#america is weird#america is silly
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willyhoos · 4 months
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bro has been in the timeloop for so long he has begun to view his friends deaths as obstacles instead of tragedies😭😭😭💀
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kellystar321 · 8 months
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enchantrum · 3 months
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I actually hope The Boys becomes more unnecessarily deranged and gratuitous because that's what Garth Ennis would have wanted and it will weed out all the lame-asses who would puke if they tried to read the first volume of the comic which is infinitely worse <3
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uzu-hime · 1 year
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So like legit how does one make friends when they are
-too adhd for normal people
-too depressed for adhd people
-poor (no money to do things or go places)
-25 on the outside, single mom for 10+ years on the inside
-so so lonely but so so afraid of adding anyone else to the "only want to hang out with me when you need free therapy" group that includes everyone I know
#i want friends#but i don't know how to make them#or where to find them#im too weird for a lot of people and too introverted for others#and for some reason everyone i do befriend always ends up being basically my therapy patient#or they only ever want to hang out on their terms which... don't exist#side eyes my friend who always says 'i miss you guys we should hang out' in the group chat but then turns me down#for her boyfriend every single time i try to make plans#'he works night shift i have to clean during the day' girl are you his girlfriend or his maid??#if you don't want to hang out with me just fucking tell me instead of playing cinderella all the time#my mom says i should get out more and do more things but honestly i live in bumfuck ohio#what things????#rural america is a nightmare for being social if you don't have money and also don't want to hang out at your local high school#i can't even go to the park in town by myself because too many women have been abducted there#im not making this shit up#i just want someone to sing silly songs with me and try on stupid outfits just for fun and go to new restaurants#no one has ever heard of and sit in the woods in silence for a while and maybe take a nap together and compare grov#*grocery lists and just.#why is it so hard#what is wrong with me that the only friends i have only like me sometimes#even my mom who likes me all the time won't even go shopping with me anymore#she's too burnt out from working#maybe it's not me#maybe im just another victim of capitalist america's isolation#even then i don't know what to do about it. my cat helps but im still just. lonely.#im tired of being lonely#vent post#ignore me
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becca4leafclover · 10 months
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waiiiitt I just realized the reason why I love QSMP so much as a concept is because it's kind of like my childhood growing up overseas oh my goooodddddd what if i cried
#its in the bonding over multicultural experiences#in school everyone would be from somewhere different from all over the world#and we were only at this place for a few years so we just vibed together and our differences didnt matter#but then sometimes we'd just end up talking about where we lived before#and sharing these crazy things we'd had as american kids in other countries#and we'd also for one reason or another have local kids sometimes talk about their own experiences as locals coming to the american school#and it was cool too!!#but coming back to live in the usa has been pretty isolating as someone who grew up outside here and no one else has left their state area#but the qsmp community has been bringing that culture exchange back into my life!!#and it's SOOO amazing to see people learning about outside their world and be part of that culture exchange again#and no its not the same and im not saying its supposed to be!#i love it so much i love learning about the outside world and how humanity is so varied and so so special#thank you qsmp this silly minecraft server has brought back a part of my life i thought i left behind forever when my family moved back#now im actually practicing my german again and picking up on more basic spanish than i ever thought id get#and im getting reinspired to want to aim to go back overseas rather than stay in america for job oppertunities#i thought i was resolved to suffer here forever but theres still a world out there thats not perfect but if my place isnt here its okay!
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misterradio · 2 years
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watchin dr caligari makes me think, why dont ppl make silent films anymore. well maybe they do but i certainly dont know of any big releases that are silent. and there is something about the overall design aspect in caligari that makes me feel like an art form has been lost. like why are we as a society not making movies like this anymore. Not to imply you need to copy Or Even take direct inspiration from that movie. i mean like. where is all the absurdity.. the artistry.... the pure visual design......
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inkskinned · 2 years
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
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yauchfilms · 5 months
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so american ✢ max verstappen
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pairing: max verstappen x singer!reader
warnings: none; just some silly shit, some swearing, google translate dutch, max's home race is belgium and not the netherlands for timeline related reasons
summary: y/n is teasing way too many things at once…..can the fans keep up? 
author's note: this is NOT an original concept i am aware of this. but this hasn’t left my brain in days. i’ve got a very specific vision so let me cook. i know i haven't posted on here in over a year but i've returned an f1 fan. enjoy!
yourname added to their story! 
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liked by delwatergap, maxverstappen1, and 3,491,842 others
yourname: i think i'm in love with montreal. sorry i’ve been so off the grid but i am Loving Life so hard. so much inspo in my life rn. will talk soon i promise. love u all bunches 🫶🏼🌷
ynsbestfriend: hey queen you have done it again!
-> yourname: ugh i love you so bad
user1: UM BAE WHOS THAT IN THE LAST SLIDE?
-> yourname: beats me! 
-> user1: i do not trust you. 
lilymhe: hiiiii pretty girl
-> yourname: stop im blushinggggg
user2: i fear she’s in her lover girl era 
-> user3: girl help im so fucking scared right now what’s happening
user4: so does any of this have to do with your story from yesterday??????
*liked by yourname.*
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maxverstappen1 added to their story! 
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yourname added to their story! 
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liked by honeymoon, danielricciardo, and 3,572,679 others
yourname: life's been a beach lately. clearly i've been loathing my time in spain ://///
user5: IS THAT MAX
-> user6: no bc it HAS to be
heidiberger_: Loved spending the week with you! 🤍
-> yourname: same!!!!!! let's do it again sometime 🥰
-> user6: NOT DANNY RIC'S GF COMMENTING?????? AND LILY MUNI HE ON HER LAST POST???????
user6: no bc even if her and max were dating and she's been traveling with him why have we not seen her in the paddock
-> user7: to throw us off our rhythm????
-> user8: what if they debut at his home race in spa ijbol
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liked by landonorris, taylorswift, and 4,683,892 others.
tagged: maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and ynsbestfriend
yourname: hahaha felt like dropping 2 things at once on u guys LOLLLLLLLL. thank u to redbullracing, spagrandprix, and the city of spa for letting me and my friends crash the race the other week to film the “so american” music video, and to maxie for winning in ur home country. it was so fucking special to be there supporting u. i love u baby!
ps. another thank u to max for thinking i'm the funniest person in the world and making fun of my americanness for as long as i've known him (which is quite a while).
enjoy this tune guys. it's urs forever and i hope u love it as much as i love the person it's about 🫶🏼 🇧🇪 🇳🇱 TU DU DU DU!!!!!
user9: OH NMY GOD I FUCKING KNEW I SAW U IN THE GARAGE
ynsbestfriend: thanks for letting me third wheel mommy
-> yourname: no one else i'd rather drag along!!!
danielricciardo: Welcome to the family! Song's a banger although I can't believe it's actually about Max of all people 🤢 GROSS!!
-> yourname: jealousy is a disease danny.
user10: i actually cannot fathom this this is so me core
alexandramalsaintmleux: I am so glad to know you! Your happiness is everything 🩷
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liked by sabrinacarpenter, carlossainz55, and 4,783,522 others. 
tagged: yourname and ynsfriend
maxverstappen1: Spent a week away in New England with my talented, gorgeous girl. Loved getting away and experiencing America through her eyes! Consider me an honorary American now! Also, stream “So American” wherever you choose. It's about me 😉 
yourname: does this mean i can stop hiding in the garage now???
landonorris: Happy for you mate! Love the song as well yourname 🤍
-> yourname: awe thank u lando 🥺 i got more to show u when i see u next!!!!!!
redbullracing: ❤️💙
user11: MAX IS IN HIS LOVER BOY ERA
danielricciardo: How many more times can you say American?
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liked by charles_leclerc, chappellroan, and 3,694,849 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourname: nothing like celebrating the best 2 weeks of my life than showing my boy around ye olde stomping grounds #soamerican
liamlawson30: This is so American of him
-> yourname: like he fits in so well!
lydianight: u'll have him in the american flag board shorts in no time
-> yourname: baby steps :///
user11: she really is in her lover girl era 🥺
clairo: did you take him to the chipotle that is also a historic landmark downtown??
-> yourname: dude of COURSE i did. he said it was "interesting"
yourname added to their story! 
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lovebugism · 2 months
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steve request for adjusting back to normality with him after the upside down ends? however much u wanna write 🤭🤍🤍 ur writing is gorgeous btw
ty angel! hope you like it!! — steve helps his agoraphobic gf leave the house for the first time since the world ended (established relationship, hurt/comfort, cw for mentions of agoraphobia | 1.5k)
bug's summer fic fest (⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)
You sit on the stairwell and tie your shoes, trying desperately to ignore the trembling of your anxious fingers. The thin laces threaten to slip from your tremoring hands as you knot one loop into the other. You couldn’t hide from your worry if you tried.
Steve’s heavy footsteps sound behind you in a steady, even rhythm as he walks down the stairs. You can hear the dull clapping of the boy patting his pockets to ensure his keys and wallet haven’t yet fallen from them. You know he’ll do exactly that another ten times before you step foot out of the house. He’s just as anxious as you are these days.
“Almost ready?” he says, huffing, though a smile is evident in his voice.
You nod to yourself and make careful work of fastening the laces. “Mhm,” you hum.
“Did you make sure to pack those Ants on a Log things? ‘Cause Dustin’ll kill me if we don’t bring ‘em,” Steve frets, for the second or third time that morning. He stills on the step just behind you and crosses a pair of golden arms over his chest. “Because, you know, he’s the only kid in America who actually likes celery.”
You tilt your chin to look up at him, smiling despite the fear pinching your chest. “Everything’s in the basket, Stevie.”
“Including the—”
“Yes, including the drinks. And the sandwiches. It’s all in the fridge,” you finish for him. “And the blanket’s in the car, so… Everything’s ready.”
Steve’s chest deflates with a distant sigh of relief. He’s been so used to doing everything on his own — carrying the load of that burden entirely by himself — that he forgot what it meant to have someone else to lean on.
“God, I’m so in love with you,” he murmurs fondly, mostly to himself, as he bends at the waist to kiss your hair. The plush of his lips brush your temple in a warm touch you lean instinctively into. 
With a wide hand on your shoulder, Steve feels for the first time how tense you are. All rigid, muscles taut, like cradling a rock in his palm. You’ve kept a brave face for him all day, but there’s only so much hiding you can do.
“You’re still okay with this?” he wonders aloud as he stands to full height again. 
His scruffy face is all twisted with concern, but you’re not looking at him to see it. You tie your right sneaker with a pair of graceless hands, where you seem to hold most of your anxiety, and scoff at the silly question. “Am I okay with the… picnic?” you echo.
“Yeah,” Steve shrugs, lips jutted, as he walks past you down the steps. He turns and leans against the railing, trying hard to be casual. “‘Cause, you know, if you weren’t, we could just have it in the backyard or something. Make all the little shits come here.”
It takes you a moment too long to catch his meaning.
Sometimes you forget that you haven’t left the house all year. You’ve fallen into such a routine here, at Steve’s house (which you’ve come to see as your own), that you’ve forgotten there’s a whole world outside of it. A whole world you shut yourself out of after it nearly ended — after it chewed you up and spat you out again.
You tell yourself that you survived. You tell yourself that you lived in spite of the unfavorable odds. But sometimes, when you feel like shards of flesh and bones instead of a real-life human being, you wonder if you’re alive at all.
“I’m good, Steve,” you assure despite the waver in your voice. Your hands fumble with the laces, and you have to start all over again. “It’s just the park, babe. I can make it to the park.”
Steve nods in response, raking an anxious hand through his hair. He swallows down any attempts to remind you that you’ve barely made it out of the garage, let alone to the park.
“Besides, I’m pretty sure it’s a crime to be this pale in the middle of July, anyway,” you joke with a forced laugh. 
The only time you really see the sun is when you’re sitting out on the patio — sipping at your morning coffee or watching Steve languish in the pool. You hardly last more than an hour, though, before a plane rumbles overhead or a car engine thunders too loudly. That’s all it takes for everything to come rushing back to you. The monsters, the soldiers, the blood. Then you lock yourself away all over again.
You hope this time is different.
Steve nods again, always hopeful, if only for your sake.
“Okay. Just… Just making sure, you know?” he trails off, then scrunches his nose. “Should we have a codeword, anyway? Like, for when the kids annoy the shit outta me, and I wanna get the hell outta there?”
You squint to yourself, pretending to ponder the question, as you rise from the stairs. You take a few steps downward until you’re standing just ahead of Steve — a few inches taller than him now. 
“How about… Get me the hell outta here?” you offer with a mischievous glint in your eyes.
A wide, pink grin blossoms on his mouth. “That’s perfect, actually,” Steve muses sarcastically, then meets you halfway when you lean down to kiss him. 
It’s a chaste and very innocuous peck that tastes faintly of Steve’s mouthwash and the peanut butter you licked from the spoon after making Dustin’s Ants on a Log. 
Despite its fleeting nature, you hang onto the simple kiss your entire way through the front door.
The first step out of the house is the hardest. 
You struggle to feel the ground beneath your feet as your mind threatens to wander. Thoughts of death plague your mind despite your attempts to push them away — roaring demogorgons, exploding guns, screaming teenagers. You have to fight the urge to cover your ears when a helicopter whizzes overhead, hidden somewhere in the clouds but sounding much closer than that.  
Steve holds your hand the entire way. “Almost there,” you hear him mumbling beneath the heartbeat woosh, woosh, wooshing in your ears. Your eyes squeeze shut. He leads you to the car and squeezes your hand. “You’re doing amazin’, babe. Just a couple more steps.”
You’re at the car in five seconds flat, though it had felt like five minutes at the time — and took approximately five years off your life. You feel eons better when you’re tucked into the passenger seat of Steve’s 733i. You feel more grounded there — with the tires against the asphalt, and Steve’s hand on your thigh, and the radio cranked all the way up.
You’re still a shaking mess when you get to the park, but the kids are a good enough distraction. 
You opt to busy your anxious hands with the picnic — handing out food, protecting drinks, and ensuring the emptying basket doesn’t blow away. You sit in the shade in the center of Steve’s quilt as leaves rustle in the warm breeze, allowing bits of summer sun to peek through and glitter on your skin. 
You keep a watchful eye on the kids around you as they scatter mindlessly about, making sure no one ventures far enough where you can’t see them. Steve yells at them for it so you don’t have to — shouts at Max and El for getting too close to the tree line while he tosses a ball to Lucas. 
He’s slowly mastering the art of throwing with his left hand. He hasn’t been able to lift his right one over his head since Starcourt. There’s a persistent ache in his shoulder he hasn’t been able to get rid of.
He walks over to you when the distance grows too much to bear, twisting his arm with a screwed-up face as he tries to find the root of the pain. “Whaddaya got for me, sweet thing?” he asks with a lopsided smile.
You reach into the basket beside you and pull out the last sandwich of the bunch, which you kept aside especially for him, wrapped neatly in plastic.
You hiss playfully through your teeth, then squint faux apologetically up at him. “All that’s left is tomato-avocado…” you joke, feigning horror.
Steve’s face twists. “Ugh. Seriously?” he huffs in disappointment.
“No,” you hum in response, smiling as you pass him his favorite sandwich. “Here you go.”
It’s a simple turkey, ham, and bacon number with all the fixings, but he particularly likes how you make it. (You argue that it can’t taste any better than a diner-made sandwich, but Steve always insists otherwise.) 
Your fingers brush when it takes it from you. Steve finds it difficult not to melt for you entirely, and not just because of the sweltering summer heat. 
He’s spent half of his life believing that no one ever gave him a passing thought — or that, at the very least, he was only ever an afterthought. But you remind him every day that he’s so much more than the nothing he often sees himself as. You remind him, through silly picnics and sandwiches made with love, what it means to be truly cared for.
“I love you,” Steve hums quietly, adoration melting in his honey eyes. “You know that?”
You nod once, hiding a smile as you squint one eye from the beaming sun. “I know.”
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faithshouseofchaos · 3 months
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I bet you could do a good Lando or Danny learning was scary dog privileges in America are, like a shit girls have it rough but also proud to be the scary dog for their girl
-🐮
I went with Daniel for this because @vivwritesfics did a Lando one for somebody 😭
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I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe — Daniel Ricciardo x reader
Fluff
Word count 864
Daniel wasn’t paying attention to what you and your friend were talking about. He was too busy paying attention to the UFC fight that was playing on the tv.
“…..For scary dog privileges right?” Daniel had heard you ask your friend over the phone.
“What did you say?” Daniel asked you. He was hoping you hadn’t caught him listening to your conversation.
You looked up from your phone smiling awkwardly, knowing you had forgotten that Daniel was in the room too. “Err… nothing!” you tried to wave off, but Daniel wouldn’t buy it.
Daniel paused the tv and turned his full attention to you. “No, tell me what you were just saying. “ Scary dog privileges…? “
You were taken aback by Daniel’s interest in the topic. You hesitated, wondering if you should explain it to him, ultimately you hung up the phone promising to call your friend back later.
Daniel studied your expression carefully as you thought about it, his own curiosity piqued.
Finally, you sighed and reluctantly began to explain. “Okay… so there’s this thing in the US…” you started.
Daniel leaned in closer, listening intently. “…called “scary dog privileges”.” You said slowly, watching Daniel’s reaction.
He raised an eyebrow, his curiosity growing. “Go on..” he said, his eyes fixed on you. You tried to downplay the entire thing, chuckling nervously. “It’s just a silly thing women in America do..” you chuckled. “But basically, it’s when people have a big, intimidating dog and use it as a way to feel safer.”
Daniel looked at you skeptically. “Feel safer from what?” he asked. You shrugged “just… being approached or something. “
Daniel narrowed his eyes, not quite understanding. “So people with scary dogs feel safer?” he asked.
You nodded “yeah... kinda.” you paused before continuing. “It’s like a subtle way to signal to strangers that you shouldn’t mess with them.”
Daniel thought about it for a few moments, still not quite getting it. “So… people with scary dogs get special privileges then?” he asked.
You chuckled and shook your head. “No, it’s not really like that… it’s just..” you paused and smiled. “It’s just a little thing a lot of us women do… especially when we’re walking alone. for safety”
Daniel’s eyes widened “So women use scary dogs to feel safe?” he asked, finally understanding.
You nodded “yeah.. something like that.”
Daniel looked a bit worried “Do you feel safe walking alone?” he asked, concerned in his voice.
You shrugged “ I mean.. sometimes..”
Daniel looked at you, clearly not satisfied with that answer. “What do you mean sometimes??” he asked, his protectiveness kicking in. You chuckled lightly, appreciating his concern. “Daniel, I’m fine.” you patted his leg reassuringly.
Daniel looked at you, still worried. “But aren’t there dangerous people out there? What do you do if someone tries something?” he asked, imagining all sorts of scenarios. “That’s it I’m getting you a dog for when I’m not home” Daniel says.
You laugh at his words, half expecting him to say something like that. “A dog?” you ask.
Daniel nods, his expression serious. “Yeah, a dog. A big, scary one.” You roll your eyes playfully “a big, scary one?” you repeat. “And why do I need a big, scary one?”
Daniel’s expression softened as he spoke. “I just want you to feel safe when I’m not around. And a dog might help with that.” You chuckle, touched by his concern. “You don’t think I can handle myself?”
Daniel looks slightly sheepish “I’m sure you can..” he trailed off before giving you a smirk. “But it wouldn’t hurt to have some extra protection I love you way too much to see you get hurt”
Daniel grins excitedly, already planning it out in his mind. “I’ll find one. Probably a German Shepherd or a Doberman or something like that. They’re supposed to be really protective dogs.”
You raise an eyebrow, both amused and a bit overwhelmed by his enthusiasm. “And I bet you’re going to name it something tough, like ‘Zeus’ or ‘Spartacus’ or something like that, right?” you joke.
Daniel laughs “Actually, I was thinking ‘Max’.”
You playfully swat his shoulder “The same name as your best friend and ex-teammate??”
“Hey, Max is a great name for a dog!” Daniel protested.
You roll your eyes again, still smiling. “Alright, alright. So you’re going to get me a big, scary dog named Max?”
“Yeah, pretty much.” Daniel says with a satisfied nod. “And it’ll be the best damn guard dog ever.”
You shake your head, chuckling. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“Yeah, but you love me for it.” Daniel grins, leaning in to place a kiss on your forehead. You sigh dramatically “ Unfortunately, I do..”
Daniel gives you a mock offended look “hey, I’m a great boyfriend!” “Oh, I know you are.” You pat his hand gently, humoring him. “ But you’re also kinda crazy.”
“But you love the crazy part, don’t you?” Daniel teased, pulling you closer. “Maybe a little..” you admit, snuggling into his side.
“A little?” Daniel laughs.
“Okay, a lot.” you chuckle. “But only because it’s you.” “Damn right it’s because it’s me.” Daniel grins, resting his chin on top of your head. “And you know I’d do anything to keep you safe.”
“ I know.” You say smiling.
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lee-laurent · 4 days
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T'es ben chix - Luke Hughes
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Summary: Amélie decides Luke Hughes is the cutest boy she's ever seen, but she doesn't know how to tell him.
wc: 7k
content: fluff, a little bit of angst, kissing, panic attacks, anxiety, quick make out session, a couple dirty jokes, long distance relationship (let me know if missed anything!)
notes: don't let the title fool you, this fic is still in english!! i realized the other day while doing schoolwork that i don't have a fic that discusses being french-canadian. so... here we are! this fic was super fun for me to write and i incorporated experiences and challenges i have faced over the last few years. a lot of the mistakes that amélie makes are mistakes that i have made or that other french speakers make when speaking english bc sometimes we try to directly translate things and it just does not work lol i reallly hope you guys enjoy!!! and to any other francophones out there: let's be friends!!
just finished writing and it's about 5k words more than i was planning
Amélie honestly wasn't the biggest fan of going out back home, so going out in a place where she could barely speak the language was even worse. But a few of the girls she'd befriended had convinced her it was a good way to get to know more people and to let loose. She sat with the three other girls at a small table, her fingers drumming against the glass of her cocktail.
"Yeah, what did you think of that guy that presented today, Am?"
"Hm? He did... good."
"No, silly. Did you think he was cute?"
"Oh, um, he's... how do you say... not my type?"
"Not your type? Then what is your type, Am?"
"Probably that guy she's been making googly eyes at all night," one of the others teased.
"Who? The tall, curly haired guy in the corner?"
Amélie blushed, sipping at the alcohol for courage.
"Ooo, she's totally into him!"
"You should go talk to him, Am!"
"No... I tell you... no American boys," she waved them off.
"Well, that's too bad. Cause it looks like he's comin' over here. We'll be at the bar if you need us."
"Guys..."
But it was too late, the other girls were already up and headed towards the bar.
"Calisse," she mumbled, trying to ignore the tall figure approaching her table.
"Mind if I sit?" he asked. She looked up at him, her lips pursed. He had the same curly hair and boyish smile that her friends had been teasing her about. She really hadn't planned on talking to anyone tonight, let alone any boys. The girls knew her rule: no falling for any boys while she was in America.
"Uh... sure," she replied, gesturing to the empty chairs across from her.
He smiled, sitting down casually, rubbing his palms on his pants. "I'm Luke. I, uh, I thought I'd come introduce myslef since we, uh, made eye contact so many times."
Amélie bit her lip, nodding as he spoke. She barely knew enough English to follow what her friends were saying, and now she had to talk to some random guy at this bar she didn't even want to be at. "I, uh, I am Amélie."
"Amélie? That's a really pretty name. Did I, uh, did I say it right? Amélie?"
Her cheeks flushed, her eyes flickering down to her drink. "Yeah... that is right. Thank you." Her fingers tightened around the glass, trying to think of something to say next, but everything just came in French.
Luke could sense her hesitation, suddenly becoming way more nervous about coming over. Maybe it had been stupid. Maybe he was making her feel uncomfortable. "I just thought... I don't know. You seemed nice. Do you, uh, want to talk, or...?"
She met his gaze, taking a deep breath. He was trying and he seemed nice, like he really wanted to talk to her. "I... my English, it is not very good," her accent thickening as she spoke. "It is... hard for me."
Luke nodded, leaning forward slightly. He had teammates that didn't speak English as their first language, so he kind of knew what to expect. "That's fine. I'm sure it's better than my French. That is your first language, right? French? Sorry, I just assumed cause your name-"
"Yes, French," she cut him off, giggling at his rambling.
"I can barely say anything in French, so you've already got me beat."
His attempt to make her feel better worked... a little. "It is easier... to write. But speaking... more pressure, I forget the words lots."
"I get that. But we can just... talk slowly."
She sipped at her drink, waiting for him to continue.
"So, what brings you to Jersey? Not a lot of French people here."
"Exchange... at Rutgers. I am from Québec. Saguenay. But I come here... and I work on my English."
"That's super cool. It's awesome that you're pushing yourself to get better. I, uh, I went to Umich for a bit, but-"
"Umich?"
"Oh, right. University of Michigan. I lived in Michigan before I lived here."
"You move here because..."
"For hockey. I play hockey."
"Oh... that's cool. I like Les Canadiens. You play in the LNH?"
"The NHL? Yeah, I do. You like hockey?"
"Everyone in Québec likes hockey. Very popular."
"But you didn't know who I was," Luke teased.
"Only like Les Canadiens, sorry," she shrugged.
"Well, that's fair, I guess. The Habs are pretty big in Québec, huh?"
"Yes! My family... all big fan." She felt comfortable talking about her family, talking about home, the things she liked. Her dad watched every Habs game on TV and sometimes he'd even drive down to Montréal for a weekend to see them play.
"My family loves hockey too. Everyone plays. My mom, my dad, me, and both my brothers. It's like in our blood... or something."
"They play for... the same team?"
"One of them does. Jack, he plays with me. My other brother, Quinn, he plays in Vancouver," Luke tried to keep it casual, not wanting it to seem like he was bragging.
"Ah! The Canucks!"
"See, you know a bit about other teams," he teased.
"Shhh," she giggled. "Your family... they seem very... what's the word... talented."
"Guess you could say that."
She took another sip of her drink, her mind buzzing with questions to ask, but none of them coming to her in English. She wanted to ask more about his brothers, about how he started playing hockey, but her mouth just couldn't keep up with her brain. She also didn't want to come off as rude or obsessed with him because of his title, so she just nodded.
"You don't have to worry, you know. I'm not judging you," Luke comforted. "So, what do you do when you're learning English or watching the Habs? You got any other hobbies?"
"I like to... read. And bake... when I have time."
"Reading and baking," Luke mused. "What do you bake?"
"Everything," she giggled. "Tarte au sucre is my preferred. My mom... she always bakes with me."
"Tarte au sucre? What's that? Sugar pie?" Luke's eyes lit up. "You'll have to make me that one day. I've never had it."
"Maybe. You will have to see."
"Challenge accepted."
Amélie went to respond, but her phone buzzing stopped her. It was her friends calling, probably ready to head on to another bar. She didn't want her conversation with Luke to end, but she knew she couldn't stay there all night.
"I have to go. My friends... waiting," she sighed.
Luke's face fell a little but he nodded. "Yeah, I get it. But I, uh, this was fun."
"Me too."
There was silence for a little, neither of them wanting to be the first to say goodbye. "You should give me... your phone number. So you can try my tarte au sucre."
"Sounds like a plan," Luke said, handing his phone over for her. She typed in her name and phone number, adding a '<3' next to Amélie.
"Text me," she giggled, waving goodbye as she joined the other girls at the bar. Luke watched as the four of them started talking amongst themselves quickly, giggling as Amélie told them about her conversation with the hockey player.
He finally stood up, making his way back over to the table where his teammates were sat. Curtis raised an eyebrow at him, a smirk plastered on his face.
"Well, how'd it go, Romeo?" He leaned forward, failing to conceal his grin.
Luke rolled his eyes, "Good, actually. Really good."
Nico raised his pint, "Told you. You just had to go for it."
"So... what's next?" Curtis nudged him. "You ask for her number?"
Luke nodded, trying to play it cool. "Yeah, we'll probably meet up again."
"Probably?"
"Okay, fine. Yeah, we'll see each other again. I'm going to try her sugar pie she was talking about."
"Sugar pie? Is that what we're calling it nowadays?" Nico teased, causing the whole table to erupt in laughter.
Luke shook his head, letting the teasing slide. His mind was too focused on the girl with a French accent and promises of baking him pie. He had to see her again.
~~
Luke found texting Amélie way easier than he'd imagined. She wasn't lying when she said her writing was better than her speaking. Her texts barely ever had mistakes, in fact sometimes they were worded better than his.
They texted back and forth constantly, which earned Luke some teasing from his colleagues. In writing, Amélie was much more confident, returning his flirting with practiced ease. Her personality really shone through in a way it hadn't at the bar. She'd occasionally crack jokes, usually about how he didn't know any French and that she'd have to teach him. Their conversations flowed, talking about their days, sharing stories, discussing the schoolwork that Amélie had, and sometimes sharing pictures of their meals. Although Jack did most of Luke's cooking, he'd never admit that to the girl.
You have to come and try my tarte au sucre soon! Only if you're brave enough though ;)
Luke grinned at his phone, his fingers furiously typing back a reply.
Oh, I'm brave enough. Just let me know when, and I'll be there.
I will. Maybe next week? I need to make sure it's perfect first.
Deal.
~~
Amélie paced her apartment, making sure that everything was in order before Luke came over. She was even more nervous than she had been in the bar. She really wanted things to go well. They had decided to label the event as their first date, and although a bit informal, she was still shitting herself.
The pie was sitting on her kitchen island, untouched. She didn't want to eat any of it until Luke was there to eat it with her. She was worried he'd get in trouble because it wasn't part of his meal plan for work, but he had reassured it multiple times that it wasn't a big deal if he had a little pie.
Just as she was about to rearrange her throw pillows for the third time, there was a knock at her door. She froze mid-step, wiping her hands on her jeans as she made her way to the door.
It was just a pie. And it was just Luke. Nothing to be too worried about.
She hesitated for a moment before she pulled the door open, tilting her head back to look up at Luke. He was standing there in a Devils hoodie and some track pants, a baseball cap covering his curls. He looked relaxed, his hands tucked in the pocket of his hoodie. Amélie hated how nonchalant he looked in comparison to her.
"Hey," he greeted. "I brough my appetite, as promised."
"Good. I hope you are ready," she joked, stepping out of the way to let him in. He pulled off his shoes, taking in her cozy apartment. He laughed when his eyes landed on the big Québec flag hung behind her couch.
"I'm sure it'll be amazing. I'm looking forward to it, don't worry."
She nodded, though her nerves didn't disappear. She led him into the kitchen where the pie sat waiting. The smell of it filled the small space, warm and sweet.
"Wow, looks good, Am. Guess you weren't kidding about being a good baker."
"It's like you with hockey. My talent," she giggled, blushing as their eyes met.
"I don't know. Your baking skills may be miles ahead of my hockey skills."
"Don't lie. Let's see if it tastes as good as the smell," she grabbed a knife, finally cutting the pie into pieces. She placed a generous slice in front of Luke, taking in how comfortable he looked in the situation. She really admired how easygoing he was compared to her. It was their first date, but his demeanor made it seem like they'd been seeing each other for months. Meanwhile, her heart hadn't stopped racing since she opened the door minutes before.
Luke picked up his fork, flashing her a grin before taking his first bite. His eyes widened and he let out a pleased hum, "Holy shit, this is so good."
"You like it?"
"Are you kidding? This is like the best dessert I've ever had... don't tell my mom I said that. But really, Amélie, you've ruined all other pies for me. Can I take some home to show Jack?"
"Of course! I'm glad you like it. Is my mom's recipe."
"You should probably teach me how to make this, so I don't have to beg you every time I want some."
"I wouldn't mind," she giggled, taking a bite of her own slice. The taste reminded her of home and she suddenly felt a lot less nervous about messing up her English in front of Luke. They continued to eat their pie as they talked, shifting the conversation to more personal topics, wanting to know everything about each other.
Luke told stories about growing up with his brothers, sharing embarrassing moments from their childhoods and the occasional hockey-related mishap. Amélie found herself laughing more than she had since she'd arrived in America, her body filling with warmth.
"And that's how Jack ended up chipping his tooth. Our mom was furious, but Quinn and I thought it was hilarious," Luke explained, shaking his head at the memory.
She laughed, her shoulders shaking. "You and your brother... troublemakers," she teased, resting her chin on her hand as she listened to him talk. God, she could listen to Luke talk for hours. His accent was the cutest thing she'd ever heard and his smile curved up more on one side than the other, almost like a smirk. He was so perfect.
"Yeah, we were. Still are, I guess. But what about you? You got any fun stories about your family?"
"One time my dad, he take us to Montréal for a Habs game. And my older brother he had... he liked one girl he saw. But she was anglophone, no French. He goes up to her and he tries to talk English. But it was soooo bad. Even worse than me. He only knew maybe like three word. I think he said like 'Hey, you pretty, drink?' and she looked at him like he was... insane! He... he panicked and ran away. We bullied him for years after. Our dad, he will still talk about it at dinner sometime."
"That's brutal," Luke laughed. "Glad our first conversation didn't go like that."
"I am just better than him."
Luke shook his head, flashing his lopsided smile that made Amélie swoon. "Clearly. You've got the charm, no doubt about it."
"Maybe a little. But still I get nervous. When you arrive, I think maybe that I would die."
"You hid it well. I didn't even notice. I was the nervous one."
"You? Nervous?" she raised an eyebrow, placing her fork between her lips .
"Yeah, you were... well you are, like the prettiest girl I've ever met," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Didn't want to mess it up."
"Is that a joke? You did not... mess up. I like talking with you."
"I like talking with you too, Amélie"
~~
It was their fourth date and they were back at Amélie's apartment. Luke was sprawled out on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table as he playfully scrolled through one of Amélie's French-to-English learning apps.
"Come on, give me a word," Luke teased, turning to look at the girl sitting beside him with her legs tucked under her.
"Alright. Alright. Um... try... 'papillon.'"
Luke squinted, trying his hardest to translate it. "Papillon," he reapted slowly. "Uh... sounds like pasta, maybe? Wait, no, wait... um, balloon?"
She let a burst of laughter, learning back against the arm of the couch. "Non! It's butterfly!"
He groaned dramatically, throwing his head back in mock anguish. "Butterfly?! That doesn't even sound like butterfly! What?!"
"You are needing more practice," she giggled, comfortly placing a hand on his thigh.
Luke's eyes widened at her touch, but he couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, clearly I need a lot more practice. You might have to become my full-time tutor."
Amélie smiled, her fingers lingering on his thigh, sending a warmth through both of them. They'd been spending more and more time together, and things were less awkward, but still full of nervousness. The banter between them was easy, but there was an ever-growing tension gnawing at them both.
Luke reached for a throw pillow next to him, lightly tossing it at her. "Give me another one. I swear I'll get it this time."
She swatted the pillow away, but her focus had moved on from French. The space between them had slowly been shrinking and she had just noticed how close they were. She tilted her head, her eyes flickering up to meet Luke's. "I think... maybe you are better at other things than French."
Luke's grin faltered, his breath catching in his throat at her new tone. He glanced down at her hand still resting on his thigh, then back at her face, then back to her hand again. "Oh yeah? Like what?"
"Like... this."
Before he could question what she meant, she leaned in, her lips brushing his, testing the waters. The kiss was soft, hesitant, but the second their lips connected, everything they'd been holding back snapped into place.
Luke's hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer. The kiss deepened quickly, no longer hesitant, but instead filled with the feelings they'd been dancing around for weeks. Amélie sighed against his mouth, her hands sliding up to his chest, gripping his shirt in his fists. Luke groaned softly, the sound muffled by her lips.
Their kisses turned hungrier, more urgent, as the tension in the room built. Luke shifted, gently pushing Amélie back against the couch as he leaned over her, his body pressing against hers as their kisses grew sloppier. Her hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, and Luke's hands slid up to cradle her face, his thumb brushing her cheek as the kiss deepened.
Neither of them wanted to pull away, not wanting to be the first to end the kiss. Luke realized he couldn't hold his breath any longer. He gasped for air before kissing her again, harder this time, his lips moving with more urgency than before. Amélie let out a soft, breathless moan in reponse.
They pulled away again, their foreheads resting against each other as they tried to catch their breath. Luke brushed a strand of her hair, that had gotten stuck between them, out of her face. His eyes were still half-closed as he whispered, "I've wanted to kiss you for so long."
Amélie smiled, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to fill her lungs with air. She looked up at him, her lips still tingling. "Me too. I... I did not expect it to feel... like that."
"Good or bad?"
"Good," she whispered, her fingers tracing the back of his neck before pulling him in again, her lips finding his once more. There was no hesitation this time, just unfiltered desire as they gave in to the kiss.
~~
"Where you goin'?" Jack asked, pausing his video game as he heard Luke head for the door. He turned around, noticing his brother wearing his Michigan backpack. "And why do you have a backpack?"
"Amélie's place. I'm spending the night."
"Damn, Lukey boy's finally getting laid."
"Shut up, Jack... there's no confirmation that that's what happening. She just asked if I wanted to sleep over."
Jack smirked, leaning back on the couch with a knowing look. "Uh-huh, sure. You don't pack a bag just to sleep over, bro."
Luke rolled his eyes, adjusting the straps of his bag. "It's not like that. We're just hanging out, maybe watching a movie or something."
Jack snorted. "Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, lover boy. But just in case, be safe."
"It's not like that," Luke groaned, grabbing his keys off the counter, trying to escape Jack's teasing.
"I'm just saying! Good luck, bud!"
Luke mumbled to himself as he stepped into the hallway, heading for the elevator to the parking garage. His heart was racing more than usual, not just because of Jack's teasing but because tonight did feel different. Spending a night together was a big step in their relationship, especially since they weren't officially official yet.
They hadn't even discussed labels yet, and although they were very close, there was an unspoken worry of figuring out where things were heading. Luke really, really liked her, but he didn't want to rush anything. If Amélie wanted to take things slow, then he would take things slow.
He sat in his car, getting ready to leave when his phone buzzed.
Just picked out a movie. Hope you like rom-coms ;)
Only if we watch it in French so I can practice
Deal.
When he pulled up to her building, he practically leaped out of the car, taking his backpack with him. He knocked on her door, his heart in his throat.
Just go with the flow. No pressure
Amélie giggled when she opened the front door, dressed in one of Luke's Devils hoodies and a pair of shorts he couldn't see from under the large sweatshirt.
"Hey. You look cute," he leaned down to kiss her.
"Hey! Missed you."
"It's only been three days," he laughed, allowing her to wrap her arms around his waist, propping her chin on his chest. "You ready for my horrible French?"
"Ready for anything," she giggled as he ran a hand through her hair.
They stood in the doorway for a few moments more, before she grasped his hand and pulled him into the living room. They settled on the couch, a blanket thrown over their entwined legs.
"Am, I've been thinking..." his thumb brushing lightly against her thigh. "I don't want to overthink it anymore than I already have, but... we've been spending lots of time together. And I really like you."
"I like you too, Luke. A lot."
"Good. Because... I want this to be official. I mean, us. I want us to be official. I don't wanna be just 'hanging out' or 'seeing where things go' anymore. I want you to be my girlfriend." His voice softened at the end, his heart out on a silver platter just for her.
"You really want that?" she gushed.
Luke nodded, "Yeah. I want you. I want... us."
"I want that too," she smiled, shuffling impossibly closer to him, pecking his lips.
Luke pulled her back in for a deeper kiss, relief flooding his body. When they pulled apart, Amélie rested her forehead against his, her fingers gripping the front of his hoodie.
"So, it is official?" she whispered.
"Officially official. You're my girlfriend now."
She kissed him again, laughing into his mouth. "Well... now that we have... figured that out. You have French to practice... boyfriend."
"Let's get started then, girlfriend."
~~
"So... when do I get to meet her?" Jack grinned, knocking Luke's shoulder.
"Oh, um, I can ask her."
Jack raised an eyebrow. "You can ask her?" he teased. "What, you haven't mentioned me?"
Luke sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I have, Jack. I just... didn't think you'd be so excited."
"Dude, of course I'm excited! My little brother has a girlfriend now! And you know I've gotta approve, see if she's good for you. Duh."
"She's not a test subject, Jack. I'm not bringing her so you can interrogate her."
Jack snickered, loving how flustered his brother was getting. "Relax, I'll be nice. In fact, bring her out with us and the guys this weekend. Some of the other girlfriends will be there."
"I can ask her. Just... don't be weird about it. She get's nervous."
"Me? Weird about it? Never. I'm charming."
"That's what I'm worried about."
"Come on, it'll be fun. She'll get to meet everyone, and you know the guys will love her. Plus, if she can survive a night out with us, she's a keeper."
"Look, I'll ask. But I know she's been busy with schoolwork. I'll ask her tonight. But seriously, Jack, don't freak her out. Please."
"Scout's honour, man. I'll be on my best behaviour."
"You're not a-- never mind. I'll let you know what she says."
~~
Luke laid next to Amélie in her bed, his arm draped over her waist. She was scrolling through TikTok, laughing at French words he didn't know yet. He pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder, peeking at the screen where some girl was speaking rapid French while doing her make up.
"Hey, Am."
"Hmm?"
"So... Jack and some of the guys are going out this weekend, and a few of the girlfriends will be there too," he paused, thinking over his next words. "Jack was, uh, wondering when he could meet you. He kind of suggested you come along."
She blinked, "Meet... all of your friends? This weekend?"
"No pressure! If you're too busy with school, I totally get it. I just thought it might be fun. Only if you want to, of course," Luke quickly added.
She bit her lip, thinking it over, and Luke could tell she was weighing her options. "I'm nervous. I would... like to meet Jack. To be... part of your world."
He pulled her body closer to his, pressing more kisses to her shoulder. "You're already part of my world, Am. And trust me, Jack's been bugging me about meeting you since our first date. He's... well, he's Jack. But he means well."
"Okay. I will come. But if Jack, he makes me feel awkward, you owe me a very good dinner."
Luke laughed, "Deal. And don't worry, I'll be there the whole time. Plus, survivng Jack means you can survive anything."
~~
"C'est très cute, non?" Amélie asked, showing her outfit off to Luke.
"You look like a millon bucks, baby," he replied, leaning down to kiss her.
"What?"
"It's... it's a saying."
She tilted her head slightly, repeating the words back to herself. "A million... bucks."
Luke thought her accent made it all the more adorable. "It means you look beautiful. Like super, super beautiful."
"English says, they are so strange. First you tell me it rains cats and dogs... now I look like I am money. You explain me all of these sometimes, yes?"
"Of course, baby. But I mean it, you looks amazing."
"Thanks, Lu. We should go?"
"If we have to," Luke pouted, leaning down to give her another kiss.
~~
Amélie gripped the straps of her purse so tightly that her knuckles were white. She had never felt so nervous in her life, not even on their first date. She had so many people to impress tonight and probably less than half the words they had in their vocabularies.
Luke was quick to notice her anxiety. She usually walked with so much confidence, but her posture was slumped and her lip was held between her teeth. "Hey, you okay?"
She nodded, but her choked voice betrayed her. "I... I don't know if I can do this."
"You'll be fine, Am," he whispered, brushing his thumb over her cheek. "Jack's going to love you, I can promise you that. And it's just a few of the guys--nothing big. And hey, some of them aren't even native English speakers themselves."
Her eyes were still full of uncertainty, her fingers busying themselves by picking at the skin around her nails. "But maybe I will say something wrong. Or they ask me things, and I do not understand them? Or they will all laugh at me."
"You've been doing so well with your English, love. And if you're ever feeling stuck, just squeeze my hand and I'll come to your rescue."
The bar was pretty empty for the most part, just a few tables of friends talking and sharing drinks. In the back corner, Jack was sitting with a few of the other guys and their better halves.
"There they are!" Jack cheered as soon as he saw them approaching, standing up to greet his brother as if he hadn't seen him in weeks. His tone was loud and confident, and Amélie could feel every set of eyes at the table move towards her and Luke.
Luke gave his brother a quick bro-hug before turning to his girlfriend. "Jack, this is Amélie. Am, this is my brother, Jack."
Amélie felt like all the moisture in her mouth had disappeared, her hand gripping Luke's with a vice-like strength. She opened her mouth to speak, but all her words got stuck. "I, uh, I... hi."
"Nice to meet you, Amélie," Jack said. "Luke's told me loads about you."
She gave him a tight lipped smile, her mind scrambling to find a response, but nothing came. She felt like the weight of everyone's expectations were holding her down. She wanted to wow everyone with perfect English, but all she could do was stand there, frozen.
"She, uh, she's a little nervous," Luke interjected. "Amélie's from Québec, she's here in Jersey to learn English. But her French is like the most impressive shit ever."
"No worries. We're just happy you're here," Nico spoke up.
Amélie forced a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. She sat down beside Luke, her hand still gripping his with immense force. The conversation around the table picked back up, but she remained quiet.
The guys were easygoing, laughing and joking with each other, and the other girlfriends seemed just as relaxed. The more they spoke though, the harder it became for her to follow. She could pick up on bits and pieces of what was going on, but she couldn't seem to form a complete sentence in her head.
"So, how do you like Jersey so far?" one of the other girlfriends, Lexi, asked with a warm smile.
"It... it's very different. But I... I like it," she replied, her eyes not leaving Luke's hand in her lap.
"She thinks back home is wayyyy prettier. Right, babe?" Luke helped to direct her.
"Yes. Québec is very beautiful."
"So what brought you here?" Jack asked, desperately wanting to know more about the girl that had stolen his brother's heart. "School?"
She bit her lip, trying her best to think of how to reply in English. "Yes... I.... study at Rutgers. Exchange."
"That's awesome. What're you studying?"
Her mind went completely blank. She'd even rehearsed answering that exact question, but now, with everyone looking at her, the words were gone. Her hand tightened around Luke's again, taking a sip of water to clear her throat.
"She's studying communications and media. But the point of her exchange is to work on her English skills."
"That's sick," Jack nodded along.
The conversation around her continued, a few questions being tossed her way but her responses were usually just a few words, the gaps being filled in by Luke. The group eventually moved on to a story that Nico was telling, and Amélie used the shift of attention to shrink into herself further. She let Luke rest his hand on her bouncing knee in an attempt to calm her nerves, but his touch felt foreign in the situation.
After what felt like hours, but had most likely only been half an hour, she leaned close to Luke, whispering in his ear. "Je vais aux toilettes." She stood up before he could respond, scurrying off to the bathroom.
Jack shot Luke a curious glance, but he just shrugged, trying to mask his own worry.
Amélie slipped into the bathroom, pressing her hands against the sink as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She felt like she was suffocating, her eyes burning with unshed tears. She hated feeling like an outsider, not being able to connect with Luke's world outside of her.
She wiped under her eyes, praying that her mascara didn't run. She didn't want anyone to know she'd been crying in the bathroom. She just wanted to be like the other girls at the table--relaxed and confident, going with the flow of the conversation.
With one last deep breath, she made her way back to the table. Luke looked up at her as she approached. He could tell something was off.
"Everything okay?"
She just nodded, falling back into her silence at the table. She laughed when everyone else laughed, smiling politely when someone made a remark towards her. Luke had never seen her so quiet in his life, not even on the first day that they met. By the time everyone had left the bar, her anxiety was so bad she thought she might puke.
Luke opened the car door for her, and she slid in, staring blankly out the window. The silence between them was heavy. Luke could feel it too, his fingers tapping nervously on the steering wheel.
"Am, what's wrong? You've been quiet all night. You barely said a thing."
The tears that she had been fighting so hard to keep at bay finally spilled out. "I... I feel so stupid. I-I couldn't even talk to them. I couldn't even... act normal."
He reached out, placing a hand on her thigh. His heart clenched at her words. "You're not stupid, Am. You're doing amazing. You're learning a whole new language, that's huge."
"But I had to have you help on everything. I could... not even answer Jack's questions. They normally think... I'm dumb. Not good for you." She wiped at her eyes, frustrated with herself for crying.
"Amélie, baby. No one thinks you're dumb. And you are more than good enough for me--don't you ever doubt that. Jack loved meeting you. Everyone did. I could tell. They don't care if you need some help speaking English. Hell, some of those guys could use the help speaking English."
"I wanted... to be better. To show I can do this. But I feel...lost."
"You don't have to show anyone that you can do anything. Not to me, not to Jack, not to anyone. I love you for--"
"You love me?"
"Of course I do, Am. I... I didn't want to admit it like this. But... I am so in love with you, Amélie."
"I love you too, Luke. Sorry if I... embarrass you tonight."
"You could never embarrass me, Am. Never ever."
"I-"
"Nope, that's enough out of you. Let's go back to yours and watch that stupid cop show you like."
"Mensonges?"
"If that's what it's called, then yes."
"I love you, Lu."
"I love you too, Am."
~~
"I don't know, Jack. She was so nervous last time..."
"But last time there were other people there too. Just tell her you've got the place to yourself for the night and then I'll walk in a couple hours later and be like 'Oh! Sorry, my plans got cancelled.' And then we can all hangout," Jack suggested.
"I'm not going to lie to her. I'll just ask if she wants to spend the night."
"Come on, Rusty! You know I'm just trying to help her relax around me. You're making it sound like a big deal. It's not! She's your girlfriend, and I want to get to know her. Plus, I'll make it fun! I'm good with people."
"I appreciate the thought, Jack. But I want her to feel comfortable, not tricked. So I'll just ask her if she wants to come over and spend the night. No tricks."
"Fine, fine. Let me know what she says."
"I will. Just... don't be an idiot."
~~
Amélie followed Luke into his apartment, her backpack thrown over his shoulder. She looked around, noticing how painfully obvious it was that two men lived there.
"I'm just gonna put your bag in my room. You wanna go make yourself comfortable on the couch?"
"Sure."
She sat down, curling her legs under herself, glancing around the living room. She picked up the remote off the coffee table, fiddling with while she waited for Luke.
"You good?"
"Yeah. Just... taking in. It is very... you."
"What, you mean messy?"
She giggled, then tension in her shoulders disappearing. "Maybe... un peu."
"Hey, it's organized chaos, baby. I know where everything is. Well... most of the time."
"I like it. Feels... comfortable. Like you."
"That's all I want, babe. For you to be comfortable."
"Where's Jack?"
"Probably in his room. Why? Wanna talk with him?"
Amélie quickly shook her head, her eyes widening. "No, no... just wonder. I don't want to... bother him."
"You're not bothering him. He's probably playing video games or doing some stupid shit. He'll come out here eventually."
The last time she'd been around Jack, she hadn't been able to shake her nerves. Tonight, she was determined to make a better impression, even if she still felt like puking.
Luke gently nudged her with his elbow. "Hey, you're good, Am. Jack's chill. You don't have to be nervous."
"I know... just... want him to like me."
"He already likes you," Luke reassured, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "He wouldn't shut up about how cool you were after the last time."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. I wouldn't lie to you, silly."
"Love you, Lu."
"Love you too," he leaned in to kiss her when footsteps pulled them apart.
"Aww, did I interrupt a moment?" Jack's teasing voice came from the doorway.
"Relax, Jack. We were just talking... about you."
"Oh yeah?" Jack pushed himself off the wall, making his way to the couch. "All good things, I hope."
"Duh," Luke squeezed Amélie's hand, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. "Amélie was just asking what you were up to."
"Probably nothing interesting compared to you lovebirds. Was talking to Trevor--can't let Luke get ahead of me in the whole having a life department."
She tried to think of a quick response to his joke, but came up with nothing she deemed funny enough.
"Luke tells me you like studying here cause it's different. How so?"
"Um, everything... is feeling bigger here. The city, the campus. And obviously... English. There is like... zero English in my town. We use some words... but not lots."
"Well, seems like you're doing great. Don't stress it. Plus you've got this guy," he gestured to Luke, "to help you out, right?"
She blushed, "Yes, Lu is... super."
Luke grinned, leaning in and whispering, "Told you he likes you."
~~
"I don't know how I'm gonna survive without you, Am," Luke admitted, wiping the tears from his face. His usually calm, relaxed demeanor was gone, replaced with a raw vulnerability.
Amélie had told herself she wasn't going to cry, but seeing Luke cry made that impossible. Her tears had started as soon as his had. "You will, Lu. You are so strong. And... I will not be gone forever."
He shook his head, intertwining their fingers. "I know, but... shit's gonna feel so different without you here. I'm used to having you here all the time. And now I won't see you until summer. I don't know how to do that."
"You'll have Jack, the guys, your family. I'm just... a plane away. We will FaceTime, and before you know... I am back. And I will meet Quinn... and your parents."
Luke rested his head in her lap, letting her run her fingers through his hair. She could feel his tears soaking the fabric of her jeans. "I'm gonna miss you so fucking much, Am."
"I'll miss you too, Lu. So, so much."
They stayed like that for a long time, just wrapped in each other's embraces. Neither of them wanted to let go. Neither of them wanted to admit how hard the next few months would be. They just wanted to stay together... forever.
~~
Amélie was sitting at her desk, her phone propped up against her water bottle as Luke's face filled the screen. His hair was a mess and his eyes drooping. She could tell he had just gotten home from practice.
"Hey, beautiful," he greeted.
"Hey, you," she replied, resting her chin on her hand. "How was practice?"
"Exhausting," he groaned. "But seeing your face makes it better."
Amélie blushed, biting her lip as she smiled. Before she could respond, she heard her brothers' voices coming from down the hall.
"Ah, c'est qui, Amélie?" (who is it, Amélie?)
"Son chum?" the other laughed. (her boyfriend?)
"Ahhh, mais Luke, t'es ben chix." (Ahhh, but Luke, you're so hot.)
"Ferme ta gueule!" Amélie shouted. (Shut your mouth!)
Luke burst out laughing at the look on his girlfriend's face. "What're they saying?"
She huffed, rolling her eyes. "They're being idiots. Teasing me about you."
"Teasing, huh?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "What did they say? Come on, tell me."
She sighed, getting closer to the camera with a small smirk. "They said you're... how would that translate.... that you're 'hot.'"
"Oh, did they know? You must have good pictures of me hanging up then, huh?"
"They're just being annoying. They think it's funny to tease me because I love an American."
"Well, tell them I appreciate the compliment. And tell them I say 'hi'," he teased.
Amélie shook her head but shouted, "Luke dit bonjour!"
From the hallway, her brothers responded with exaggerated greetings in their broken English, making the couple laugh.
"They're something else, huh? I can't wait to meet them one day."
"They'll probably want you to ask Cole for free Habs tickets. But... in a few weeks, I'll be back and I'll get to meet all of your family."
Luke's eye lit up at the thought. "I know! I've been counting down the days, baby. I can't wait for you to be here again!"
"Me neither. Excited to meet Quinn and your parents."
"Yeah, my mom's super excited to meet you!"
"I'm a little nervous though."
"Don't be! They are gonna love you so much, Am!"
"I love you, Lu."
"I love you more, Amélie. Only a few more weeks, then we'll be together again. I can't wait."
"You promise?"
"I promise. And I'm gonna spoil you so much. Just you, me, and the lake."
"Can't wait."
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 months
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do you have any particular rap recommendations? i'm open to the genre but i haven't really vibed musically with any of the more popular rap artists. i'd really like to listen to more of it but i just don't know where to really start looking
god do I ever. I have no idea who you haven't previously vibed with so if I say someone you don't like then cope, I'm telling you about my personal favorites.
first and foremost remember that love of my life Janelle Monáe raps like hell
Little Simz is simply electric and her album Sometimes I Might Be Introvert is one of the most breathtaking audio experiences I've ever had
Dua Saleh makes me insaaaaane xyr music is so good and also frequently NASTY gay shit (as linked)
I looove Doechii she hits you going like 4000 miles per hour brain go BRRRRRRRR
I just got into Flyana Boss when they opened up for Janelle on tour last year, they're so cute and funny and their energy is incredible
Tierra Whack does a lot of kooky silly shit I adore her
I never really got into BROCKHAMPTON but Kevin Abstract is my #1 sad gay man, this whole album is everything to me
I don't know, like, anything about Aminé outside of his music but that's fine because his music fucks like hell
and I'd be remiss if I didn't include Megan Thee Stallion and a song that reduces me to emotional shambles
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hyunjinsjeans · 1 month
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He Knows (Changbin ver.)
Chan ver. | Lee Know ver. | Hyunjin ver.
MASTERLIST
Synopsis: you already have a baby, but maybe you are ready for baby number two… it might be that your husband is not as ready.
Type: Fluff 🧸, a little bit of angst at the end if you squint ❤️‍🩹, SFW 👍
Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy
Word Count: 2110
AN: this one is a little more on the angsty side. I hope it is cool with y’all! It seems the word count keeps coming up, so uh, sorry about that. I hope you enjoy!
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You knew Changbin was not one to make rash decisions. In fact, it took you almost two years to start dating officially, and it was in part because you warned him either he gave you a label or he could lose your number. 
He did not like the idea of losing you for a second. Which is how he learned to pay a little less attention to his rational side and allowed himself to go by feelings when it came to the two of you. He was smart anyway, there was no need to overthink things. 
To everyone’s surprise you were the first couple in his group to get engaged, then married and a little under 2 years ago welcomed a baby girl who stole the show anywhere she went. Hajoon, was the name you came to pick together, meaning summer, she was your little ray of sunshine from the moment you first knew of her existence when you were only 6 months into married life. Changbin had gone into a short panic at first but he recovered quite smoothly and in true Seo Changbin fashion he stepped into his role as if he had been doing it all his life. You had been scared all throughout the pregnancy, not having planned for it and finding yourself struggling with morning sickness while he was away in America promoting with the boys. Giving birth made you anxious enough you actually started working out more than your husband, taking all the yoga classes you could handle and signing up for as many pre-natal pilates as possible. One would think you were never going to want to have a baby again. 
And one would be wrong. 
You were at peace with your small family of three until you started taking Hajoon to daycare. She was a happy little girl, knowing little more than her family and uncles. Following her father around as much as possible, she started dancing almost as quickly as she started walking and her speaking was coming along better than expected according to your in-laws. Most likely thanks to Changbin’s silly rap battles with his baby girl. No one year old could compete with his speed, but Hajoon would be damned if she didn’t try.
“No, no; she has a good rhythm!” Changbin always defended his daughter. 
And the fact was, Hajoon loved to play with her daddy, with her uncles… but most of all she loved playing with her daycare buddies. You could see how happy she was in the morning when you went to wake her up, get her dressed and bring her to the kitchen to have breakfast with Changbin. Yes, she was a daddy’s girl through and through (and Changbin was lost in that girl dad daze, wrapped around her miniscule finger from day one). But she would let go of her appa the instant you mentioned daycare. And upon seeing her little friends, she would forget all about how comfortable and warm your embrace was. 
Sometimes you stayed long enough to watch her find her friends, a couple of boys around her same age and a girl a little bit older. 
You couldn’t help it, in your heart you craved to give her the possibility of a friend to play with at all times. Someone to share all those toys you asked the boys not to get her but somehow still made it into Hajoon’s tiny backpack whenever you would hang out.  You wanted her to have what Changbin had with his sister. And your husband’s behavior upon finishing promotions for the last mini album did not do anything other than add fuel to the fire. 
Changin was not stupid (no matter what Seungmin’s opinion on the matter could be), he could tell when something was going on around him. He knew you were being “strange”. Quiet. 
If he knew one thing about you, it was that you were never quiet. Even when you were thinking things over, you reasoned out loud with yourself. You were never one to stay still for too long either. You were more obvious than you would ever like to admit. 
Chanbin was absolutely in love with you before Hajoon, but after she was born it was like the entire world revolved around the two of you, himself included. Which is why he was so aware of every detail in your life. How you still laid your hand in the middle of the bed between the two of you, as if your baby girl was still sleeping there as she had the first few months of her life. He knew you still used those baby oils on your daughter, refusing to move on from the baby scent. Changbin could also see how your eyes lit up at the sight of your daughter pressing her ear to Lee Know’s wife’s growing belly. 
Oh, if he could he would give you a baby right there and then. But he was so busy with work these days. 
Changbin arrived home under a light rain, his feet causing the water on the ground to fly around in small drops. He looked up under his umbrella to see you through the window, most likely making cookies in the kitchen with Hajoon as your helper. You two loved to play cooks. He loved to play the faithful customer. 
A smile spread across his face when he heard the loud giggles erupt from the home, you yelled in surprise while a joyful high pitched voice announced “more choco-ate!” 
Changbin knew your little one was a chocolate enthusiast. On that note he decided to come in, leaving his dirty boots on the entryway before calling for his family. 
“I’m home!” He put his jacket away. 
“Now, don’t run Joonie!” You advised from the kitchen. 
The sound of light feet quickly tapping on the floor was a clear indication that your advice was not taken. 
“Appaaaaa!” 
Changbin knelt to catch the fast approaching girl, her pigtails flying in the air while she ran with her arms open wide. She had no doubt he would catch her so she threw herself at him and got held against her dad’s strong chest, her cheek pressed happily onto his shirt. 
“There’s my princess!” He kissed the top of her head repeatedly as she giggled in his arms. “Where’s your mother, huh?”
As if you heard him, you stepped out of the kitchen. He lifted his gaze before picking up his daughter and going up to you, giving your cheek a gentle kiss. 
“What are you two up to?” He looked you up and down. 
You tilted your head to the side with a small smile on your face, you fixed Hajoon’s shirt that had ridden up her back and let your daughter explain. 
“Cookies”, she whispered into his ear. 
Changbin didn’t even flinch at the warm air his daughter blew straight into his ear. 
You asked him how things had gone at the studio and he sighed in response, not wanting to say too much. He had been working on a few songs with Chan and Han for over a week, some were good and ready to go. Others were still works in progress. It seemed like they would have more than enough material for their next album, but he knew it was all a lot more work to get done. And just before his baby girl’s second birthday. 
Although Changbin was keeping it to himself, he was overwhelmed. Still, you could tell. 
The sweet smell of the cookies flooded the house even a few hours after you had all eaten dinner. Giving Changbin the chance to unwind, you let him and Hajoon play in the living room while you cleaned up the kitchen. The sound of the tv and some of the girl’s toys resonated through the house along with their loud laughter.
Soon enough you walked into the living room to find Changbin snoozing on the sofa with Hajoon cuddled up to his chest, head nestled in the space between his neck and shoulder. You knew you already had many photos like this, but still pulled your phone out of your pant’s pocket and took the picture. 
“I’m not really asleep, you know?” Your husband’s voice startled you. 
“Oh,” you jumped to put your phone away. “Do you need help with the little one?”
He shook his head slowly, pointing for you to sit next to him.
You turned the tv down as you went to take a seat next to him, his free arm reached for your hand and intertwined your fingers. 
“We need to talk,” he mumbled. 
You looked back into his eyes. He was tired from the long day at work, you sighed and wondered what he wanted to talk about so you nodded and watched your daughter’s peaceful face. She was sound asleep, exhausted by the afternoon walk and the subsequent baking session. 
“What is it?” You turned in your seat to face him more. 
Changbin let out a heavy sigh, he did not like that he needed to bring it up but he could not have you hoping he would catch on to you and go along with it. 
“You know I love you,” he wasn’t asking but you nodded at his words, “and I love Joonie, you two mean so much to me…” 
He closed his eyes and you tugged on his hand, speaking as well. Encouraging your husband. Maybe the two of you knew where this conversation was going, reading each other in a heartbeat. 
“Oh, Binnie, we love you too. What do you need to say?”
Here came the difficult words: “Next year is going to be busy. I won’t be home a lot.” He opened his eyes and searched your face for a reaction. 
You opened your mouth to speak a couple of times but weren’t able to say anything. To be honest, you saw this coming. It did not make it any easier to accept what was being said between the lines. 
Changbin felt guilty when you looked away, there was a smile on your lips that was unable to reach any other feature on your face. 
“It’s only a year,” he tugged at your hand. 
You blinked at that and took in a deep breath. “Is there another world tour?”
“Yeah, we’re so excited but… I wouldn’t be able to leave you with this little monkey and another one on the way.”
There it was. Your head snapped in his direction, unable to play fool and tiptoe around the topic any longer. 
“I’m not saying I want one right now. You are busy, you’re tired. I just think we should plan it soon. I don’t want Hajoon to have a big age gap with her siblings.”
You leaned back on the sofa and put your head on his shoulder, watching your daughter sleep. Allowing Changbin’s warmth to comfort you from the disappointment of hearing him put your wish to have another baby on the waiting list.
Changbin let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around you. At least you were on the same page. “We can try for next year. With luck I won’t get completely outnumbered by girls.”
You bit back your laughter as you rested your hand on his stomach. “Oh, but you’re such a good girl dad!” 
“It’s only easy because Hajoon is a mini-you. And a rockstar really… more than me.” 
You giggled. 
“She is a mini-you, what are you talking about?” You caressed your little girl’s chubby cheek. 
She has the same face shape as her dad, her cheeks round and pink, her lips small and heart shaped.
“Actually, maybe I want an army of mini-you’s…” he let his fingers run along your shoulder.
You rolled your eyes, “I can’t make any promises about gender, but I definitely want to have another one.”
Changbin agreed and kissed your hair, “I’m sorry it’s not what you wanted. I would love to do it right now, but I would feel like crap knocking you up and then leaving the country. I will be here with you when we do it again.” He pressed his cheek to the top of your head. “I promise.” 
You tilted your head back and kissed his jaw, then his cheek and when he turned to you, you pressed a short kiss to his lips. 
“I’m not mad. You don’t have to explain anything to me, I get it. And you’re right, this is the best way to do it. Together.”
“Since you like the idea, you could kiss me again, you know?” He proposed, bringing up the mood again.
————
Likes, Reblogs and Comments are welcome! Thank you for reading!
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complete-clownery · 3 months
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Human SWK and Mac for the soul
Long rant about the au idea ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Actually they're for my detective au I'm not really talking about but I do have this fun little animatic idea in my head to Michael Bublé - Better be tonight, where MK and Wukong beat up a lot of people behind the scenes in the bar while Macaque distracts the audience with a performance lol haha how silly of me
But yeah the au would be Wukong is a private detective who has already retired, and MK (a young detective working for the police (dw were all about acab here, so Mk would realize how shitty the police system is and leave)) would seek him out for help with a case about some underground Mafia business
(probably something I would do with LBD and the Demon bull family but who knows), and Wukong decides to help him MK and also just teach him stuff along the way while also guiding him away from the police force
(probably something something Wukong worked as a detective in there, jttw event converted into detective cases idk, celestials as the justice system ect ect),
but they would ultimately work together on the case and would cross paths with Macaque (who needs a proper human name) Wukongs former partner (partner as in work related business but yeah they were also fucking), who will probably stab them in the back at some point in the story LBD pressure and whatnot,
but yeah on normal days Mac works a shitty job in an office, but Wukong swears up and down that Mac is up to something shady (and he is kinda right) (also side note: every individual in the office regardless of gender has had an office crush on Macaque at some point lol)
Also Wukong when he worked at the police actually got himself quite the name and so people know about him, kinda was the face of the police force at some point, and MK decides to be a detective bc of Wukong, (but that was kind of a given, even tho in the show before getting his powers MK wasn't really interested in becoming a here and this was also a key plot point in season 4 MK not wanting to do all the crazy magic shit and wanting to go back to being just a delivery boy and sometimes beating up the eventual villain of the week, but whatevs)
They're in their 40s maybe early 50s but Wukong somehow still looks 20-30 years old nobody knows how he does it, everyone else is kinda the same age in the show
They're also in America for this cuz--- this is a 90s 80s detective show just because I want it to be--- how did the characters from China end up here idk :| something something emigration or maybe the au can stay in China idk man Im making up half of this as I'm writing but it's fun I like the rotate my little aus in my brain
But yeah its just a fun little idea in my head that is going to stay just that, never manifesting into something more
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mangyraccooon · 6 months
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Thoughts about Modern day Dragon him being a late diagnosed autistic
Dragon would be one of those people who knew they were different from a young age but never could figure it out because either parents (who didn’t want a ‘different’ child) or becoming so high masking that it was very difficult to tell. (Probably a mix of both)
When Dragon is 40ish he takes luffy to the doctor for a routine checkup.
The doctor tells him his son is most likely autistic.
She also tells him it’s an inherited trait
Dragons reaction is “ah.”
He never thought luffy was different. That wasn’t true he understood luffy was different but it wasn’t a bad thing in his eyes.
Unknowingly at 7 years old dragon put on a mask. It starts to crack 33 years later in a doctor’s office.
The doctor gives him some pamphlets and online resources to go through. He spends the next 24 hours going through it all + several online quizzes.
Only the next morning when he opens his closet fully prepared to go into work: when he sees all his shirts and suit jackets. That he realizes he has no idea who the fuck he is as a person.
Luffy finds him crying in a mess of ripped silks and cotton.
Luffy crawls into his lap and starts telling him about a new beetle species found in South America.
Dragon calls them both in sick and lets his son decide the schedule for the day.
Later that night he goes through old boxes in the attic. Trying to find who the fuck he is- was- could’ve been.
He finds a couple old albums, his guitar, luffys baby blanket and…
Crying is natural and normal, he has to tell himself. You are not weak for crying twice in one day.
The ring is old, it was his mother’s. It had been left with his secretary along with luffy asleep in his bassinet.
“Sometimes I feel like you just put on this face and I don’t even know which one is the real you; or if there is a real you”
He would never know how right he had been.
Dragon quits his job; he can’t stand it anymore. The partners beg him to stay, he’s the best lawyer they have. But the feeling of a suit collar now feels like a noose.
Borsalino is the only one who still contacts him after.
Dragon has money; so much money. Other than luffy and silk shirts that didn’t scrape his skin there was very little dragon spent money on.
So he glides, spends more time with luffy. Falls into a depressive episode so bad he has to stay with his mother. Tsuru purses her lips when he tells her and dragon can’t help but feel a little angry.
“You knew.”
“I suspected.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You seemed to be fine.”
But dragon hadn’t been fine, he had been miserable. It was only now he could see how miserable he had been.
He cooks with his step mother who teaches him how to make a puff pastry. Luffy meets a boy down the street who also loves bugs. Life goes on.
Luffy gets a assessment and official diagnosis
The adhd part wasn’t that surprising to Dragon or anyone within 5 seconds of meeting luffy. his son is (affectionately) a human bounce ball.
Dragon gets an official diagnosis and sends a photo of him posing with it to borsalino. Borsalino sends a photo of himself and an online quiz. And dragon understands not everyone needs the word of a doctor to know who they are.
Garp barges into his life and demands he “stop being a freeloader and get a job.” Before flopping on the couch and doing just that.
Dragon gets the drag bar gig out of spite. Iva is the best worst thing that has ever happened to him. After finding out he knew guitar the queen needled him until he started practicing again out of spite (once again he had to stop using that as motivation)
The guitar strings cut at his fingertips.
Garp sets him up on a blind date, which ends with both him and rouge laughing themselves silly. Apparently garp had taken dragons “I like dick” comment to mean anyone who was in possession of a penis (even if it was silicone.)
He turns 42 and has to valiantly fend off Luffy, Ace and Rouge from eating his rack of ribs.
Iva gets him up on stage eventually (he was fine behind the bar)
He did like the eyeliner though and how his shoulders looked in the dress (but that was a thought for another day)
The band thing was a joke (or started as one) rouge sang, dragon played bass, iva played electric and kuma drummed his heart out.
Then it became less of a joke.
It was late, the porch was empty and the moon twinkled. Dragon cradled the phone in his hands. They had gotten a record deal.
He punched in the number slowly.
He was 45 now, he could do this.
The phone rang as he held it up to his ear.
His palms were sweaty.
Voicemail
“I uh-“ what was he supposed to say? “Hi, it’s been awhile. A long time actually- fuck I think I could tell you the exact date if I wasn’t drunk. But- you probably dont want to hear that huh?” He laughed, his breath coming out in a small cloud in the autumn air.
“So a lot happened, since you left. And I don’t blame you for leaving- just so we are clear. Yeah uhmm. So the band. I’m part of a band now surprise! We got a record deal and it made me realize I still- well that is, when I was told. I realized, your the only one I wanted to tell”
“And not in a bragging way!” He added hastily
A beeping noise, indicating the end of the message
“Wani I-“
But the message ended
-should I make this into an actual thing? Lemme know
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