#and Encourage Kingdom Principles
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Help me Lord be a Light and not a shadow in the darkness of my fears.
Deborah Brodie, The Path That Gets Brighter: A Devotional to Instruct, Illustrate, and Encourage Kingdom Principles
#Deborah Brodie#The Path That Gets Brighter: A Devotional to Instruct#Illustrate#and Encourage Kingdom Principles#quotelr#quotes#literature#lit#christian#christian-fiction#christian-living#christian-quotes#christianity-faith#inspiration#inspirational#inspirational-life#inspirational-love#inspirational-quotes#self-awareness#self-help#self-improvement#self-love#self-motivation#self-realization
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Chaos Magick
Chaos Magick is a modern form of occultism that defies traditional structures and dogmas, embracing a pragmatic, results-oriented approach to magical practice. Unlike conventional magical systems that adhere to specific rituals, symbols, and deities, Chaos Magick emphasizes flexibility, personal belief, and the use of any technique or symbolism that achieves the desired outcome. Originating in the late 20th century, Chaos Magick has become a significant and influential movement within the broader landscape of contemporary occultism, attracting practitioners who value creativity, experimentation, and personal empowerment. This essay explores the history, principles, practices, and significance of Chaos Magick.
History of Chaos Magick
Chaos Magick emerged in the late 1970s and early 1980s as a response to the rigid structures of traditional ceremonial magick and the occult revival movements of the 19th and 20th centuries. The origins of Chaos Magick can be traced to the writings of occultists such as Peter J. Carroll and Ray Sherwin, who were instrumental in developing and popularizing this new approach to magic.
The Influence of Austin Osman Spare:
A significant precursor to Chaos Magick was the work of artist and occultist Austin Osman Spare (1886-1956). Spare's ideas about the subconscious mind, sigils, and the power of belief were highly influential on later Chaos Magicians. He emphasized the use of personal symbols and the manipulation of belief as tools for magical success, laying the groundwork for many of the ideas central to Chaos Magick.
The Birth of the Movement:
In the late 1970s, Peter J. Carroll and Ray Sherwin co-founded the Illuminates of Thanateros (IOT), a magical order dedicated to the practice and development of Chaos Magick. Carroll’s seminal works, "Liber Null" (1978) and "Psychonaut" (1982), became foundational texts for Chaos Magicians. These books outlined the core principles of Chaos Magick, including the emphasis on belief as a tool, the use of sigils, and the concept of "paradigm shifting," where practitioners adopt different belief systems as needed.
Spread and Evolution:
Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, Chaos Magick grew in popularity, particularly in the United Kingdom and the United States. The movement attracted individuals interested in a more personalized and experimental approach to magic, free from the dogmatic constraints of traditional systems. As Chaos Magick evolved, it incorporated influences from psychology, science fiction, pop culture, and postmodern philosophy, reflecting its eclectic and adaptive nature.
Principles of Chaos Magick
Chaos Magick is characterized by several key principles that distinguish it from other forms of magical practice. These principles emphasize flexibility, pragmatism, and the central role of belief in achieving magical outcomes.
Belief as a Tool:
One of the core tenets of Chaos Magick is the idea that belief itself is a powerful tool in magic. Unlike traditional magical systems that require adherence to specific beliefs or deities, Chaos Magick posits that the act of believing—regardless of what is believed—is what makes magic effective. Practitioners are encouraged to adopt and discard beliefs as needed to achieve their desired results, treating belief as a flexible and dynamic tool rather than a fixed truth.
Paradigm Shifting:
Closely related to the use of belief as a tool is the concept of "paradigm shifting." In Chaos Magick, a paradigm is a framework of beliefs, symbols, and practices that a magician temporarily adopts to work a particular spell or ritual. A Chaos Magician might shift between different paradigms—such as using Kabbalistic symbols in one ritual and invoking Lovecraftian deities in another—depending on what they find most effective for their goals. This fluid approach allows practitioners to draw from a wide range of magical and cultural traditions.
Pragmatism and Results-Oriented Practice:
Chaos Magick is inherently pragmatic, focusing on what works rather than adhering to tradition or doctrine. The effectiveness of a magical practice is judged solely by the results it produces. This results-oriented approach encourages experimentation and the development of new techniques, as well as the modification or abandonment of practices that do not yield desired outcomes.
Use of Sigils:
Sigilization, a technique popularized by Austin Osman Spare, is a central practice in Chaos Magick. A sigil is a symbol created by condensing a specific intention or desire into a visual form. The practitioner then uses various methods to "charge" the sigil with energy and launch it into the subconscious mind, where it works to manifest the desired outcome. Sigils are valued for their simplicity and adaptability, making them a popular tool among Chaos Magicians.
The Gnostic State:
Achieving a state of altered consciousness, often referred to as the "Gnostic State" or "gnosis," is a key component of Chaos Magick rituals. This state of mind, in which the practitioner is highly focused and free from distractions, is believed to be crucial for the successful performance of magic. Various methods, such as meditation, chanting, visualization, or sensory deprivation, are used to induce gnosis.
Practices of Chaos Magick
Chaos Magick is known for its eclectic and innovative practices, which can vary widely from one practitioner to another. The following are some of the most common practices associated with Chaos Magick:
Sigil Magic:
As mentioned, sigil magic is a cornerstone of Chaos Magick. The process typically involves creating a sigil by writing out a statement of intent, removing duplicate letters, and arranging the remaining letters into an abstract symbol. The practitioner then enters a Gnostic State, charges the sigil with intent, and either destroys or forgets the sigil to allow it to work subconsciously.
Magical Experimentation:
Chaos Magicians often experiment with a variety of techniques, drawing from different magical traditions, religions, and even pop culture. This might include invoking gods from different pantheons, working with fictional characters as if they were real entities, or incorporating elements of modern technology into rituals. The emphasis is always on what is effective for the individual practitioner.
Deconstructing and Reconstructing Beliefs:
Chaos Magicians regularly engage in the practice of deconstructing and reconstructing their beliefs. By deliberately adopting different belief systems, even those they do not inherently believe in, they explore the effects of belief on reality. This practice often leads to a deeper understanding of the fluid nature of reality and the power of the mind in shaping experience.
Use of Pop Culture and Modern Symbols:
One of the more unique aspects of Chaos Magick is its embrace of contemporary symbols and icons from pop culture. Practitioners might use characters from movies, comic books, or video games as symbols in their rituals, treating these figures as modern-day deities or archetypes. This reflects Chaos Magick's adaptability and its focus on personal relevance over tradition.
Psychological Techniques:
Many Chaos Magicians incorporate psychological techniques into their practice, drawing from fields such as cognitive psychology, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), and hypnosis. These techniques are used to alter consciousness, influence perception, and reinforce the practitioner’s intent. The integration of psychological methods underscores Chaos Magick's pragmatic and results-driven approach.
Significance and Influence of Chaos Magick
Chaos Magick has had a profound impact on modern occultism, influencing both magical practice and the broader cultural understanding of magic. Its emphasis on flexibility, innovation, and personal empowerment has resonated with a new generation of practitioners who seek a more individualized and adaptive approach to magic.
Democratization of Magic:
One of the most significant contributions of Chaos Magick is the democratization of magical practice. By rejecting rigid hierarchies, dogmas, and the need for formal initiation, Chaos Magick has made occult practices more accessible to a wider audience. Anyone can become a Chaos Magician, regardless of background or experience, as long as they are willing to experiment and learn.
Cultural Impact:
Chaos Magick has also influenced popular culture, particularly in areas related to the occult, science fiction, and the countercultural movements of the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Concepts from Chaos Magick, such as paradigm shifting and the use of pop culture symbols, have found their way into literature, movies, and art, reflecting the movement's broad cultural reach.
Challenges to Traditional Magic:
Chaos Magick challenges the conventional understanding of magic by questioning the necessity of belief in any particular system or deity. This has led to debates within the occult community about the nature of magic, the role of belief, and the effectiveness of traditional practices. Chaos Magick's focus on results over tradition has encouraged many practitioners to rethink their approach to magic.
Influence on Postmodern Thought:
Chaos Magick is often associated with postmodernism, particularly its skepticism of grand narratives and its emphasis on individual experience. The movement’s fluid approach to reality, belief, and identity aligns with postmodern ideas about the constructed nature of reality and the multiplicity of truths. This has made Chaos Magick particularly appealing to those who resonate with postmodern philosophy.
Conclusion
Chaos Magick represents a radical departure from traditional magical systems, offering a flexible, pragmatic, and highly individualized approach to occult practice. By emphasizing the power of belief, the importance of personal experience, and the value of experimentation, Chaos Magick has redefined what it means to practice magic in the modern world. Its influence extends beyond the occult community, challenging cultural and philosophical assumptions about reality, belief, and the nature of power. As a living, evolving tradition, Chaos Magick continues to inspire and empower those who seek to explore the mysteries of existence on their own terms.
#mysticism#occultism#metaphysics#mystic#magick#chaos magick#sigil magick#witchcraft#witchblr#witch#wicca#grimoire#chatgpt
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Study a bible verse with me 🤍
John 12:24 (NLT) says:
“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives.”
• Through scripture, Jesus uses the metaphor of a grain of wheat to illustrate a deeper spiritual truth. In agriculture, a single grain of wheat must be buried in the soil to grow into a plant. So technically, it’s “death” is essential for new growth and multiplication.
• The "death" of the kernel symbolizes the necessary sacrifice and transformation required for new life. For Jesus, this metaphor directly points to His impending crucifixion. His physical death is essential for the spiritual renewal and salvation of humanity. Just as the seed must die to bring forth new life, Jesus must undergo His death to bring about the promise of eternal life.
• This verse emphasizes that Jesus’ sacrificial death will not be in vain but will result in a "plentiful harvest of new lives." This indicates that His death will lead to the growth of many new believers and the establishment of a new spiritual reality. The “new kernels” represent the new lives and believers that will emerge from His sacrificial act.
• This principle extends beyond Jesus’ own death. It serves as a broader teaching on discipleship and sacrifice. As followers of Christ, we are also called to embrace the idea that personal sacrifice and self-denial are often necessary for spiritual growth and fruitful ministry. The idea is that through sacrifice, individuals can contribute to a greater spiritual harvest and the spread of God's Kingdom.
• The verse highlights a counterintuitive truth in the Kingdom of God: true success and growth often come through sacrifice and loss. This perspective challenges worldly views on success and encourages us to embrace sacrificial love and service as pathways to spiritual fruitfulness.
• In summary, John 12:24 uses the metaphor of a grain of wheat to show why Jesus’ death was necessary for a great spiritual harvest and crucial for our salvation. He died for our sins out of immense love, so we wouldn’t have to face death ourselves. His sacrifice leads to new spiritual life and growth, not only for Himself but also for those who follow Him and are called to live selflessly.
Have a blessed day 👼🏻🙏💕
#christian blog#christian faith#christian living#christianity#faith in god#faith in jesus#god is love#jesus christ#jesus is coming#jesus loves you#sacrifice#jesus died for our sins#repentance#godisgood#i talk to jesus#jesussaves#christian quotes#bibletruth#bible scripture#christian bible#bible quote#bible study#bible reading#bible verse#holy bible#god is real#christian tumblr#faithinchrist#keep the faith#god is good
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The first female regent of the Joseon dynasty, Queen Jeonghui (1418-1483) governed skillfully, maintaining stability and harmony during her tenure.
Strengthening her family’s position
Jeonghui’s father served as the first state councilor under King Sejong, and her family had a long history of producing influential courtiers. From a young age, Jeonghui displayed a bold and assertive personality. In 1428, she married Prince Suyang, the second son of King Sejong, and was granted the title of Her Royal Highness of Nangnang. The couple had three children.
Prince Suyang eventually plotted to overthrow his young nephew, King Danjong. Although he hesitated at first due to his advisors' warnings, Jeonghui encouraged him to proceed and helped him don his armor. The coup succeeded, and Prince Suyang ascended the throne as King Sejo, with Jeonghui becoming queen consort.
Jeonghui first became involved in state affairs during her husband's illness. Recognizing her intelligence and sharp judgment, King Sejo expressed confidence that she could manage the kingdom after his death.
Following King Sejo’s passing in 1468, their son, King Yejong, ascended the throne. However, his reign was brief, and Jeonghui had to appoint a new heir. She chose the second son of her deceased eldest son, who became King Seongjong.
Ruling behind the bamboo screen
Since the young King Seongjong was still a child, Jeonghui assumed the regency, "ruling from behind the bamboo screen" from 1469. This practice adhered to Confucian principles of gender segregation, which prohibited face-to-face interactions between the queen and male courtiers. Initially, Jeonghui declined the role, as she wasn't literate in classical Chinese, and suggested her daughter-in-law, Queen Insu, instead. However, the courtiers insisted, and she ultimately accepted.
Jeonghui had the final say all matters of state, including land ownership, personnel appointments, border defense, and construction projects. She was likely assisted by Queen Insu in making major decisions.
During her regency, the Grand Code for State Administration was enacted. Her policies, such as decreasing government surveillance and abolishing identification tags (hopae), appeased the public. Demonstrating frugality, she downsized the Office of Royal Estate.
Jeonghui had a strong attachment to Buddhism—contrary to the prevailing Confucian policies of the time—she persistently tried to import Buddhist scriptures despite opposition from the court.
Jeonghui was renowned for her political acumen and ability to navigate complex power dynamics. By collaborating with senior ministers, she effectively implemented her policies, stabilizing both the throne and the dynasty. Her flexibility ensured a prosperous and harmonious regency, and she protected the young monarch from the influence of powerful courtiers.
In 1476, a text criticizing her regency was displayed on the streets of the capital. Jeonghui stepped down a year later.
Queen Jeonghui died during the 14th year of King Seongjong’s reign, at the age of 66.
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Further reading
Duncan John, “The Naehun and the politics of Gender”, in: Kim-Renaud Young-Key, Creative Women of Korea The Fifteenth Through the Twentieth Centuries
Pae Yong-Yi, Women in Korean History
Park Si Nae, “Re-reading Queen Sohye's Naehun”
#queen jeonghui#history#women in history#women's history#historyedit#15th century#korean history#korea#asian history#queens#queens consorts#powerful women#joseon dynasty
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Manifestation as a Christian: A Comprehensive Biblical Guide
Manifestation, the practice of bringing one's desires into reality through positive thinking, visualization, and affirmations, has gained significant attention in contemporary culture. For Christians, understanding and utilizing manifestation within a biblical framework can provide a powerful and faith-anchored approach to achieving goals and experiencing blessings. This guide explores the biblical basis for manifestation, aligns it with scriptural teachings, and offers practical steps for Christians to use manifestation while remaining rooted in their faith.
Biblical Basis for Manifestation
Faith and Belief
The Bible emphasizes the power of faith and belief, which are core components of manifestation:
Hebrews 11:1 - "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
Mark 11:24 - "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
The tenent highlighted in these verses shows us the importance of believing in what you ask for, reflecting the foundational principle of manifestation which many may refer to as "Law of Assumption" that faith and belief are crucial to bring things forward into reality.
Positive Confession
The Bible also teaches the power of words and the importance of speaking positively, as our words have immense power to bring forward good but also evil into our lives:
Proverbs 18:21 - "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits."
Romans 4:17 - "As it is written, ‘I have made you the father of many nations’—in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist."
Our words shape our reality, it's crucial that we become aware of this, so as to not allow corrupt talk to come out of our lips.
God’s Will and Alignment
Understanding and aligning with God’s will is essential in the manifestation process:
1 John 5:14-15 - "And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him."
Matthew 6:33 - "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
These verses stress the importance of aligning our desires with God's will, ensuring that our manifestations are in harmony with His divine plan, which as we will see further below, are plans to prosper us and give us a future to look forward to.
Understanding Manifestation Biblically
God as the Source
In biblical teaching, God is the ultimate source of all provision and blessing. While contemporary manifestation often emphasizes the individual's power to attract or create their reality, the Bible underscores that all good things come from God:
James 1:17 - "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."
Prayer and Supplication
Believers are encouraged to bring their desires and needs to God through prayer and supplication, acknowledging their dependence on Him:
Philippians 4:6-7 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Gratitude and Thanksgiving
Gratitude is a key element in both biblical teaching and modern manifestation practices. Giving thanks, even before receiving what has been asked for, reflects faith and trust in God’s provision:
1 Thessalonians 5:18 - "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
Action and Faith
Manifestation involves not just belief but also taking actionable steps towards one’s goals. The Bible supports the idea that faith should be accompanied by corresponding actions:
James 2:26 - "For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead."
Ensuring Good Things by Being Anchored to God
Confidence in Prayer
1 John 5:14-15 can be connected with Jeremiah 29:11 to emphasize the assurance of God’s good intentions for us. Jeremiah 29:11 states:
Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
God's will is to prosper us and give us hope and a future. Therefore, when we pray in alignment with these good plans, we can be assured that God hears and answers our prayers. And when we pray with the assurance of knowing that these things we ask will come to pass, we exercise extreme faith, which is pleasing before God.
Assurance of God’s Good Plans
Knowing that God's plans are to prosper us and not to harm us provides reassurance that He will only allow what is ultimately for our benefit. Even when we face challenges or things don't go as we planned, we can trust that God’s ultimate purpose is for our good and better things are on their way:
Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Sometimes what we desire may not come to pass immediately or in the way we expect. Trusting in God’s wisdom and timing is crucial.
Manifestation as a God-Given Tool
Gift of Manifestation
Manifestation can be seen as a God-given tool that allows us to participate in bringing forth blessings and positive outcomes in our lives:
Genesis 1:27 - "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."
Being made in God's image implies that we have creative power and the ability to influence our reality. There is no greater creator than God, all creation comes from Him, and by being made in his own image, we carry the power to create with us as well.
Anchored in God
When we anchor our manifestation practices in God, we align our desires and actions with His will:
Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
Seeking God’s guidance and wisdom helps us discern what is truly beneficial for us:
James 1:5 - "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."
Protection from Harm
When we manifest with God, we trust Him to protect us from things that might seem good but could ultimately harm us, because ultimately we are bringing forward His will for us, which as we've seen, can only be for our benefit:
Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Manifestation, when viewed as a tool given by God, becomes a powerful practice that brings blessings and positive outcomes into our lives. By anchoring ourselves in God and surrendering our desires to Him, we ensure that only good things come our way. This approach integrates the power of positive thinking and faith with a deep trust in God's perfect will and timing. By understanding and believing that God's will is inherently good and designed for our benefit, we can approach Him with confidence, knowing that He will fulfill His promises to prosper us and give us hope and a future.
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sry but I really appreciate your insight into the relationship between galehaut and lancelot. would you mind sharing more about them
I think Lancelot and Galehaut’s relationship is perpetually fascinating - always happy to talk about it! This got so long, enjoy!
I think it’s impossible to talk about Lancelot as a character without talking about courtly love. Unlike practically any Arthurian character, we know exactly how and when he entered the Arthurian mythos: in the late 12th century, Countess Marie of Troyes commissioned Chrétien de Troyes to write a new romance: Lancelot, Knight of the Cart.
[Chrétien] tells us plainly that the countess furnished him with both the subject matter (matière) and the manner of treatment (sens) and that he is simply trying to carry out her desire and intention. His statement is phrased as a compliment, but it is not difficult to see beneath the surface a note of apology for writing on a theme theme with which he was not wholly in sympathy. The poem is an elaborate illustration of the doctrine of courtly love as it was introduced into northern France by Eleanor and Marie. Here for the first time in Chrétien’s works we find the glorification of the love of one man for another man’s wife, a situation which Fenis, in Cligès, had declared to be intolerable. Chrétien clearly found the theme distasteful and left the poem unfinished; the conclusion is by Godefroy de Laigny. — John Jay Parry, in the introduction to his translation of The Art of Courtly Love
Lancelot enters the Arthurian literary tradition as, first and foremost, an exemplar of the ideal of courtly love. Courtly love, as it was popularized in northern France and England by Eleanor of Aquitaine and her daughter Countess Marie, is pure (purer, indeed, than a married relationship, which is built on obligation, not Love), and brings out the best qualities of the knight who is in love, driving him to the heights of chivalry and heroic deeds. The knight, furthermore, enthusiastically sacrifices his safety, his, body, and his honor, for his lady, in an extreme display of self-abnegation. Knight of the Cart is Marie of Troyes’ treatise on courtly love, using Lancelot to embody these principles. Lancelot is the best knight because his love for Guenevere drives him to the height of great deeds. And Lancelot can only rescue Guenevere because he is willing to sacrifice his very honor for her by riding in a cart for condemned criminals (an event which may sound trivial, but the stakes were high: “whoever was convicted of any crime was placed upon a cart and dragged through the streets, and he lost henceforth all his legal rights, and was never afterward heard, honored, or welcomed in any court” [Lancelot, Knight of the Cart, trans. W. W. Comfort]).
Lancelot does not leave these characteristics behind when he enters the Lancelot-Grail cycle (early 12th century). And in fact, the Lady of the Lake who raises him and gives him training in arms and explicit tutelage in what it means to be a knight, encourages him to find a lover: “you should give your heart to a love that will turn you not into an idle knight but a finer one, for a heart that becomes idle through love loses its daring and therefore cannot attain high things. But he who always strives to better himself and dares to be challenged can attain all high things.” [Lancelot Part I, Ch 28] And of course, he is besotted by the queen Guenevere immediately, so everything appears to be bang on track.
Except! In the middle of Lancelot exerting himself to be worthy of Guenevere, Galehaut appears, seeking to add Arthur’s kingdom to his expansive repertoire, and is succeeding handily. The failure of his conquest comes not from military defeat, but from voluntary self-abnegation at least as profound as riding in a cart for condemned criminals. As immediately and thoughtlessly as Lancelot devotes himself to Guenevere, so profoundly does Galehaut fall for the brave young knight fighting against his own army. He is delighted by the opportunity to sacrifice his own interests for Lancelot’s, exemplified below in Lancelot asking for a favor in exchange for staying on as Galehaut’s companion (Lancelot Part II, Chapter 52):
Lancelot: “My lord, I ask you that as soon as you overcome King Arthur, and his forces are totally unable to recover, as soon as I summon you, you are to ask him for mercy and put yourself entirely in his power” When Galehaut heard this, he was aghast and became very pensive. And the two kings said to him, “My lord, what are you thinking about? There is nothing to be gained from reflection now: you have gone so far that there is no turning back.” “What?” he exclaimed. “Do you suppose I have any regrets? If all the world were mine, I wouldn’t hesitate to give it to him. I was thinking of the splendid thing he said, for never did any man say anything finer. My lord,” he said, “may God never bring me shame, but I beg you not to deprive me of your company, since I would do more to have you with me than any other.”
Galehaut goes on to cheerfully watch his castles and ambition be symbolically destroyed and humble himself to serve in Arthur’s court as a knight (To Arthur: “I prefer to be poor and happy instead of rich and miserable. Retain me with him [Lancelot], if ever I did anything that pleased you; you must do this for me and for him, for I must tell you that all the love I bear you comes to you because of him.” — Lancelot Part II, Chapter 71). Lancelot’s feelings for Galehaut (as, I will add, Guenevere’s feelings for Lancelot) are less explosive — but they are certainly reciprocal. He spends three years with Galehaut in Sorelois, which is longer than he spends anywhere in the entire Prose Lancelot. He weeps, sure that he is not worthy of Galehaut’s love. When he is wounded and scared after his captivity with Morgan le Fay, it is Galehaut he runs to (if, tragically, too late to avert Galehaut’s death of sorrow). When his own world has fallen apart and he is on the brink of death, all he wants is to be buried with Galehaut. Their relationship is courtly, in that Lancelot is now the object of Galehaut’s self-sacrificing devotion. There is the argument to be made (which Galehaut’s advisers certainly make) that the relationship is in fact not an ideal courtly relationship because it is causing Galehaut material harm, rather than making him a better knight — a position that Galehaut clearly disagrees with. He has all the material gain he needs in his beloved: “Galehaut saw wisdom and gain where others saw loss and folly, and no one would have dared make bold to love good knights so much as he” (Lancelot Part III, Chapter 72).
Galehaut’s relationship with Lancelot is set clearly in parallel with Lancelot’s relationship with Guenevere. The text is detailed and complicated in what all of these relationships entail, so I will just try to draw out a few of the things I think illustrate the ways Galehaut and Guenevere’s parallel roles underscore how non-normative Galehaut’s love for Lancelot is. The most explicit tension between Galehaut and Guenevere is given to us symbolically, as a prophecy (In Lancelot Part III, Chapter 75):
Merlin tells us that from the Islands of Jedares, from the home of the Fairy Lady, a wondrous dragon will break forth and go flying left and right over all countries, and wherever he appears everyone will tremble before him. The dragon will fly on to the Adventerous Kingdom, and there he will have grown large and massive and have thirty heads of gold, each finer and more splendid than his original head [this is Galehaut]. Merlin said that there he would be so large that the whole land would darken under the shadow of his body and his wings. He would reach the Adventurous Kingdom after having conquered almost everything, but the wondrous leopard [Lancelot] would stop him and push him back and put him at the mercy of those he had just been so close to defeating. Afterwards, the two would love each other to the point of considering themselves a single thing, each unable to live without the other; but the golden-headed serpent [Guenevere] would come draw the leopard away and take him from his companion and besot his mind. Merlin says this is how the great dragon will die.
This tension simmers under the surface of the first meeting of Galehaut and Guenevere and Lancelot and the Lady Malehaut. Ostensibly Galehaut is bringing Lancelot to meet Guenevere and formalize their extramarital affair; it also formalizes and takes seriously the relationship between Galehaut and Lancelot:
“My lady,” said Galehaut, “he could do you no wrong, but I’ve merely done what you ordered me to do. Now you must hear a request from me, for I told you yesterday that you could soon do more for me than I for you.” “Speak confidently,’ [the queen] said, “for there’s nothing you could request that I wouldn’t do.” “Then you have accepted, my lady,” he said, “to grant me his companionship.” “Indeed,” she replied, ”if you didn’t have that, then you would have profited little by the great sacrifice you made for him” Then she took the knight by the right hand and said, “Galehaut, I give you this knight forever more, except for what I have previously had of him. And you,” she said to the knight, “give your solemn word on this.”
One thing I want to emphasize is how expansive these relationships are, for as long as they coexist. Lancelot does not have to chose between Guenevere and Galehaut, prophecies notwithstanding, because Galehaut will always accommodate them. Guenevere, as someone Lancelot loves, is someone Galehaut cares for. When Guenevere is under attack during the False Guenevere episode, Galehaut is the one she turns to, and Galehaut in turn musters all his resources to make sure she is safe and taken care of. They both love the same man, and they both know it, and nevertheless chose to care for each other as well.
Lancelot is a paragon of courtly love — as the knight in his relationship with Guenevere, and, I would argue, taking the role of the lady, or object of love, in his relationship with Galehaut. What courtly love offers him is the opportunity to fulfill his highest calling — being the greatest knight that ever was. And it is this highest calling, ultimately, that takes him away from Galehaut in the end, not Galehaut losing a straightforward rivalry with Guenevere. Galehaut invites Guenevere to Sorelois, where the three of them live together for the two years during the False Guenevere episode, and when Arthur and Guenevere reconcile, Galehaut follows Lancelot to Arthur’s court rather than allow them to be separated. What takes Lancelot away, rather, is his commitment to the chivalric ideal of adventuring and warfare, which is not something Galehaut can protect him from. And, indeed, this is the thing that first attracted Galehaut to him. He knows practically from the start that he will die for his love, and he decides that the love is more than worth the price.
I’ll just end by drawing on Eli’s (of @queerasfact) beautiful summation of his discussion of Achilles and Patroclus’ relationship in the Iliad: “The Iliad is fundamentally at its core a story of intense love between two men and denying queer readings of this as viable fundamentally guts the experience of reading the text and interacting with mythology at all.” (Queer as Fact, Achilles and Patroclus). The relationship between Lancelot and Galehaut drives the action in parts II and III of the Lancelot-Grail, inviting us into a way of loving that both fits within an established literary convention, and opens a window onto a field of possibilities that are even richer. We leave the Lancelot-Grail cycle with two men sharing a tomb, inscribed:
Here lies the body of Galehaut, the Lord of the Distant Isles, and with him rests Lancelot of the Lake, who, with the exception of his son Galahad, was the best knight who ever entered the kingdom of Logres.
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Dunmeshi characterization mumblings…
Laios tries. That’s the guiding principle of his characterization, to me. He tries more than he realizes. He thought he gave up during his years with the military but he never did. Something dragged him to Falin, after all.
He cares about people a lot and he wants to do well by them. This is usually specific people but also can be groups (eg the orcs or the residents of the Golden Kingdom). His hit rate on noticing what people like/want/need is not anywhere close to 100% but once he has locked something in he’s Locked It In.
He wants to be better than he is, and he isn’t always good at noticing what he does do well. Some part of him does want to run away, and he’s not always great at accepting that. He clashes with it, and doesn’t even always know whether he’s winning against it (framing his past of leaving Falin as running away when it wasn’t necessarily that simple). When he does self-reflect he can have a pretty dismal view of himself, and he prefers to act instead. This leads him to help as often as it leads him to step on toes, but it does very much do both. He’s working on getting better about this by post-canon though - on some level I think he’s aware that it’s not how he always wants to be.
He supports people by Physically Being There. Lots of worried dog laying their head on your lap energy. Voted most likely to stay by someone’s bedside until they wake up.
~
Marcille is still figuring out where she fits in the world. She's still figuring out who she wants to be. She can be extremely confident about some things, and completely doubt herself in other areas. She's got a little bit of fake-it-til-you-make-it charm. She DOES know what she's talking about, she just doesn't always know how to apply it. Very #gradstudentcore. She's still only just starting to explore the world beyond the safety of her parents or her school!
She has such a big heart and she emotes loudly, every time. That doesn't mean that she shows EVERYTHING she's feeling, but if she does show it, she shows it big. She loves romance and big gestures and the zest of life and people. She likes to meddle and snoop because she wants to know the whole story and wants to be in on it all. I think sometimes she might have trouble realizing that she's PART of the story, though. Like, she views her meddling gossip seeking as neutral or good acts, when they can affect people more than she realizes, and sometimes even hurt them.
In general she's not great at predicting the repercussions for her actions. I do think she reflects on herself, but sometimes she's trying to learn and do so much that some things get lost. She wants to be better, and she's always learning and growing and taking things in. I genuinely think that someday Marcille is going to be a little more sure of herself and a little more experience and she is going to be an AMAZING woman. She's just not always good at handling the fact that she can't just be THERE already.
She supports people by cheering them on. The force of Marcille Believing In You could give someone the power to move mountains. Yes, she does also fret and fuss over people in ways that can undermine that. But like the Marcille smile and "you got this" encouragement? Literally confers The Power Of Love.
~
Kabru... Kabru is building the future he wants to see. He's not very good at putting that work down, though (I know, workaholic Kabru characterization, deeply insightful). He can be prone to seeing himself more a part of the process of creating a better world, though, rather than a person who deserves to live in that world. Like, I think he'd be more likely to daydream about a statue or plaque dedicated to him than about himself actually just hanging out and being content.
He thinks about everything. I definitely don't think he's always manipulating people, but he is almost always observing. And since he's prone to following those observations to plans and ideas, he's not being great at turning off his Planning brain, and thus measures his words and actions even when he maybe... shouldn't be....
I don't think he'd describe himself as an "ends justify the means" person (he's very opposed to that way of handling things from the Canaries), but he is rather more concerned about the ends than the means. Bit of a hypocrite there, maybe? I do think his ends are kinder and more inclusive than the Canaries, though. So maybe it's something where he believes that if one has good enough ends, the means must be worth it. Especially since he directs the cost of those means at himself as much as possible. He views himself as expendable in pursuit of a worthy goal.
He is getting better about that but I don't know that he's consciously acknowledged that it's a problem. And so he's probably prone to relapse into those self-minimizing behaviors, especially given he very much has a new Goal to focus on with the kingdom.
Honestly, Kabru doesn't really self-reflect nearly as much as he might think he does. This is actually taking me a little by surprise as well. But he reacts more from emotions than logic in a few points in the story (esp the part where he stops Mithrun from killing Falin), and doesn't really... acknowledge that?
Maybe it's more accurate to say that he's kind of hit or miss with it. He is learning and growing all the time. But he's also something of a blind spot in his own excellent understanding of what makes people tick. Maybe he's better at understanding himself through the reflection of how other people see him.
He shows his support by making other people's lives easier. That might mean giving them a friendly ear, helping them navigate a tricky situation, or assuaging worries they didn't even realize that had. This isn't always true, but I think sometimes he might like some his support to be a little invisible. I don't think he has a problem with receiving praise and gratitude, but I also don't know that it does much for him, either. And being able to help without being noticed can help him hide the vulnerability of the depth of his attachment.
Also, Kabru would probably be more emotionally destroyed by one person helping him with something than a hundred people praising him for his help (but would claim he prefers to help and be appreciated for it).
#just some noodling! none of this is fully thought through I just felt like it might be fun to do some stream of consciousness writing#on these nerds and what I think they are like. and how I like to write them
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@turnkeyassurance saw your tags and figured I'd take the opportunity to pause my descent into madness to give my more sober opinions on the Ni no Kuni franchise, lol. (Warning: I am a humongous JRPG nerd)
The NNK games are really odd ducks, quality-wise. You can call either one a good game or a bad game and call either one better than the other, and any combination of those opinions can be something I think is entirely justified. Both of them have things they do remarkably well and also serious, profound, deal-breaking flaws, and the really weird thing is that there's almost no overlap between those two lists for the two games. What clicks and doesn't about both of them is going to be deeply individual.
What Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch does, with resounding success, is Vibes. It sets out at every single step with the goal of being a playable Ghibli movie, and it sticks to that principle. It's all about beautiful, cel-shaded whimsy. It's a game for people who want to feel like they're wandering through the meadows in the movie version of Howl's Moving Castle. There are lots of puns, and you can befriend all the random encounter monsters and feed them ice cream.
But that's also its Achilles' heel: because it's dedicated entirely to imitation, it has trouble bringing things to the table that are really its own. It has the visual and narrative aesthetics of Hayao Miyazaki's films, but it doesn't have the raw emotion at the heart of them. And as a game, its mechanics combine the clunkiest features of menu-based combat and action RPGs, and while everything about the Pokemon-esque mechanics seems designed to encourage players to collect and experiment with them, the balancing turns attempting to do that into a miserable grindy nightmare.
The other problem is that it... isn't actually the first Ni no Kuni game. Wrath of the White Witch is, in fact, a remake of the Nintendo DS game Ni no Kuni: Dominion of the Dark Djinn, which was never released outside Japan. The reason for this is pretty easy to explain, because DDD had another gimmick besides its aesthetics: it came with a real-life physical copy of the wizard spellbook, and the player had to look things up in it and draw sigils on the DS touchscreen to cast spells. So, we've got a high-effort remake that had to completely cut the central mechanic... and which also expanded the plot so that the original main villain was no longer the primary antagonist. This results in a game with what is very clearly a final dungeon and very clearly a final boss and very clearly a resolution to the story, which suddenly has a completely different plot dropped on it like a fucking anvil that it expects you to be just as invested in even though it hasn't had anything like the same level of buildup.
And ironically, this is almost the exact opposite of the biggest problem with Ni no Kuni 2: Revenant Kingdom, a.k.a. the one with my new blorbo, the President of the United Union of Eagleland. 2 is an effort to try to cement an identity for the series that can be its own, rather than requiring them to depend indefinitely on borrowed Miyazaki nostalgia. It just has the teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy problem that at some point in development it had a budget shortfall so bad that you can finish the game without ever realizing that there is a continent-sized crashed interdimensional spaceship on the world map.
This game has had a machete taken to it. Don't get me wrong, I genuinely respect the work they did to make what they could with what they had, but you can see the signs of massive scope cuts to literally every aspect of the game. The back half of the game has almost exclusively recycled enemy and environment assets; voice acting has been trimmed down to canned voice clips; the catboy protagonist's ears and tail are barely animated; one minigame was so inadequately playtested that a level 16 mission is massively harder than level 50 ones; and while whatever restructuring they had to do to the main plot still left the final version with a more solid and coherent central arc than WWW in my opinion, it also left a lot of truly gaping plot holes, like oh, I don't know, why the President of the United States got turned into a 19-year-old.
Literally, they just. Entirely forgot to explain that. Half the DLC is just the writers scrambling to fix stuff like that and add a bunch of character development that should have been in the base game.
However, despite all this, I personally enjoyed NNK2 more than NNK1 unironically, not just for Rolandposting reasons. Compared to the first one, it plays much more smoothly as a straight action RPG, and while it can't provide the same knock-your-socks-off aesthetic cohesion, to me it seemed a lot more heartfelt- that is, like a game that was made because people had a story they wanted to tell.
But, well, we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the non-unironic reasons, because the story they really, genuinely wanted to tell was about a magical catboy growing up and learning to become a leader, and somehow, miraculously, they really thought that was the story I was here for too when they opened the game with the President of the United States being isekaied by Nuke-kun.
Sorry, guys, I have a crippling addiction to dramatic irony and my day job is tech work in local politics, you could not have more laser-targeted this at making me specifically laugh my ass off if you tried.
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Favourite things about Perseus? Also, what do you imagine his personality to be like?
Here are a few things that I like about him:
He was a Mama's Boy and killed her rapist/abuser;
In Nonnus' Dionysiaca it is said that he gave Cetus' petrified body to Andromeda as a wedding gift, whereas in Ovid's Metamorphoses he told Phineus that part of the reason why he decided to turn him to stone was because in this way his wife could look at his face without fearing it before showing him the head of Medusa;
In the Pausanias he buried the head of Medusa, instead of giving it to Athena;
He named his kingdom after a bloody mushroom and his daughter Gorgon Slayer;
He is the grandfather of persians;
On his personality:
I like to imagine him as a conscientious helper, empathetic, sociable, dedicated and loyal. Considering the fact that he deeply loved his mother and killed her rapist, saved a girl whom he later married from a sea monster and gave the throne of Seriphos to Dictys after he petrified Polydectes I'm assuming that he prioritizes other people's wishes and needs above his. He also has a great sense of responsibility and duty, and it isn't hard for me to think that he was probably asked by the people he met throughout his journey to help them in different ways, and that the slaying of Medusa and Cetus weren't his only great deeds. He usually doesn't act on impulse, and is capable of hard-working and long-term planning. Due to the fact that he grew up either as a slave or a fisherman he ended up being more humble/less greedy than many other heroes and kings, being capable of understanding how power can corrupt and trying not to abuse it on the unfortunate ones. I consider him to be easygoing as well and this is part of the reason why he adapted himself so easily in Aethiopia and already made friends who were willing to fight for him when Phineus destroyed his wedding (Ovid's Metamorphoses). Given his relationships with Danaë and Andromeda, the fact that he never cheated on his wife and that his daughter married twice (which was a huge deal back then because "A woman should stay a widow after he husband dies... [blah, blah, blah] ...a man doesn’t want a non-virgin woman who already has children [blah, blah]..."), it's not very hard for me to come to the conclusion that he had a better perception on women compared to his contemporaries, especially since he was raised by a single mother and Zeus was never really present in his life.
However, I also believe that he has a tendency of expecting those around him to share the same principles and values he has, and when someone is either a horrible person, is responsible for a great evil or is simply an asshole he doesn't hesitate to judge them for that, let aside show his wrath in different ways (The Graeae, Atlas and Proteus). He can also be surprisingly ruthless if he wants to, and I have this idea that perhaps his mother encouraged this cruel side of him; not only that she named her son "destroyer" back when she was still locked by her father, but having Polydectes around for many years perhaps influenced her in teaching her son to avenge himself or those he cares for. I think he used to trust people way too much back when he was younger (which is part of the reason why he ended up hating Polydectes so much) and as he grew older he started to "read" those around him and understand their intentions, especially since this is a trait a king should have in my personal opinion.
He's also a chill guy who likes fishing, loves sea animals and hates loud music (and wine after the Dionysus incident...).
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ATTAINING TO A SPIRITUAL CONSCIOUSNESS
"Yes, I long to come to know Him; that is, the power of His resurrection, and so to share with Him His sufferings as to be continuously transformed by His death, in the hope of attaining, in some measure, the resurrection that lifts me out from among the dead." - Philippians 3:10-11
We must guard our spirit concerning attitudes and things that can hinder the "quality" of our spiritual life. When we neglect to value and maintain His presence in our daily life experience, we will gradually lose our interest in daily communing with the Lord. Our understanding of spiritual principles will become clouded and deteriorate, and we will be robbed of His best for us.
POWER OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Negative thoughts or things, if not dealt with, will gradually eat away the progress that we have made toward our becoming passionate about helping others with their spiritual life (which would manifest itself in dying to the self-life). Any spiritual sensitivity that has developed within us will become dull and we will begin to feel that the Lord is far away and no longer interested in us.
WORLDLY ATTACHMENTS AND RELATIONSHIPS
If we are sincere in our desire for His best, all attachments and relationships that are not compatible with His will and PURPOSE for us, or do not enhance His workings within us, must be brought to the Cross, and left there. Only then will we be established on a firm foundation and capable of cultivating an active, abiding friendship with Jesus as we continually abide in His love flowing into our heart as we go throughout the day.
ADVANCING IN HIS PURPOSE FOR OUR LIFE
As we continue in our times of daily communion with the Lord COUPLED WITH AFFIRMING AND MEDITATING THE SCRIPTURES THAT CONFIRM OUR CHRIST IDENTITY, our perception and understanding of spirituality, and of spiritual things will increase. We will have an increasing desire and ability to respond to and value His abiding presence and workings to bring us into a lifestyle of moving from glory to glory as we bear fruit that remains for His Kingdom through our Christ Calling.
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:10
As we continually experience His person our eyes are opened to see from His heavenly perspective. This would including discipling other Believers into their Christ identity and encouraging them to ask, knock, and seek until they come to understand God’s purpose for their life so they will be effective in advancing His Kingdom.
We have the potential to believe impossibilities into reality. We are the world changers God destined us to be.
"Everything is possible for him who believes." - Mark 9:23
ALBERT FINCH MINISTRY
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Principle of life 3: The word of God is an immovable anchor in times of storm.
The Word of God is our compass, our guide, our book of instructions for life.
That way, when we find ourselves in situations of uncertainty, we are encouraged to seek answers in the Word, in the promises of God. In addition to prayer.
When King David scrutinized the heart of God in relation to his desire to build the temple, the Bible says: "Then King David came in and sat before the Lord and prayed" (2 Sam. 7:18). David did not order his men to begin construction. He waited for God's leadership—and what he did was good because the Lord wanted David's son, Solomon, to do the work in his place.
However, God honored David's attitude and made him a wonderful promise: "Your house and your kingdom will last forever before me; your throne will be established forever" (2 Sam. 7:16). The Lord always honors our desire to seek His guidance and wisdom. If we go to God waiting for him to answer us, he will never disappoint us.
#belief in jesus#christian bible#christian blog#christian faith#christian living#bible quote#bible scripture#bible study#bible verse#daily devotional
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What is perfect? How many have died for a principle of perfection or killed others while living in imperfection! Perfection is an idol that has to be perfect or admit its an idol that makes mistakes just like all imperfect people do.
God's grace doesn't exist for perfect, did you know that? Grace is not a blanket pardon for any group! There can be people who receive God's grace who come together to encourage one another, but grace is not a group pardon it's about individual repentance towards God not a man or a group. Can we be full of anger and God's grace at the some time?
James3:10 Out of the same mouth comes forth blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 3:11 Does a spring send out from the same opening fresh and bitter water? 3:12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, yield olives, or a vine figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh water. 3:13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by his good conduct that his deeds are done in gentleness of wisdom.
Hebrews 12:28 Therefore, receiving a Kingdom that can't be shaken, let us have grace, through which we serve God acceptably, with reverence and awe,

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Daily Devotionals for March 23, 2025
Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Daily Living Devotional Scripture:
Proverbs 12:10-11(KJV): 10 A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel. 11 He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread: but he that followeth vain persons is void of understanding.
Thought for the Day
Verse 10 - A righteous man cares for his animals, unlike the wicked who is cruel even when he thinks he is being kind. Does God care how we treat animals? Does He respond to the fearful mewing of a motherless kitten or the exhaustion of a donkey staggering under a far too heavy load? Does He care about animals bred in cramped quarters and exploited for profit? Does He care that cocks and dogs are encouraged to fight to the death for a bet; or that bulls are repeatedly stabbed, and then killed for applause in the studied pageantry of man against beast? Yes, He cares, and so should we. In Genesis, He commanded Noah to make an ark big enough to hold two of every kind of creature so that the flood would not make them extinct. He made animals for man's enjoyment and never intended the abuse that we see today of these wonderful creatures.
The Bible has much to say regarding animal abuse. In the beginning, God put the earth and its wonderful creatures under human authority, entrusting them to man's care (Genesis 1:26). Our sinful nature, however, causes us to abuse them, sometimes unknowingly. God expects Christians, above all others, to care for creation. Exploiting or abusing any part of it shows disrespect for God Himself and it does not reflect His character, but the evil ones. Several Old Testament laws instructed the Israelites in the care of animals. The Sabbath day was designed to give man and his animals rest (Exodus 20:10). The Israelites were instructed to help their friends and enemies get their oxen or donkeys back up on their feet if they fell in the road, or beneath burdens too heavy for them (Exodus 23:5; Deuteronomy 22:4). Animals were also to be allowed to eat as they worked (Deuteronomy 25:4). Finally, God says to us in Proverbs 27:23 (NIV), "Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds."
Verse 11 - This verse tells us that if a man works and takes care of his land, it will provide him with food. Men not only abuse animals but also abuse the earth through overuse. The Israelites were instructed to keep a Sabbath year of rest for the land. It was to lie fallow so that the poor and wild animals could eat from it (Exodus 23:11; Leviticus 25:7). The earth is a gift from God to man and we are to manage it properly. If abused, it produces inferior crops. If a man takes care of his land, it produces a harvest providing the bread that he needs. Whoever follows useless pursuits and neglects his land or responsibilities lacks an understanding of the principle of stewardship. Christians should lead the way in ecology that is Bible-based.
Prayer Devotional for the Day
Dear heavenly Father, thank you for Your beautiful creation of the animal world. Lord, I am personally thankful for all the wonderful pets that I have had throughout my lifetime. They have been, and are a great joy in my life. I pray for the safety and health of them. Lord, I pray that men will care for the animals in this world properly. Change men's hearts that are guilty of exploiting the animal kingdom all over the world. Bless the creatures of the sea, the birds of the air, all the domestic animals, and all the wild animals. Lord, it will be a blessing when the day of Your kingdom arrives on this earth and the animals will no longer fear man and the lamb and lion shall lie down together. In the meantime, help us all to do our part in caring for your magnificent creation -- animals, plants, sea, and land. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen. Steven P. Miller, Jacksonville, Florida., USA @ParkermillerQ,gatekeeperwatchman.org, TM, Founder and Administrator of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups. #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #SPARKERMILLER, Instagram: steven_parker_miller_1956, 3/23/2025 5:30:25 AM EST
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asks
putting these above the readmore because otherwise i will be speaking into the void
fave. grouping these together to say: i do read fanfic on occasion but it's usually filtered through a friend of mine who reads far more than i do! ie, she reads stuff and sends me what she likes
however she did say that i could tell people to link me things so she can read through them. so feel free to link me whatever in the replies/asks/idk. no promises i will be the one reading it LMAO but we have very similar tastes in characters/pairings and also the types of fics we like 👍
i actually gravitate towards gen fics which are a dying breed lol but you can link whatever you want <3
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anyway. under the cut: misc asks, sasuneji 💕, also a tiny hyuga ramble
this is so late LMAO sorry, its all in my old blog @atoriv-moved ! haven't deleted any of it so if anything happened it's tumblr's fault. i miss kingdom hearts i need luxu to be in things again so i can go crazy :/
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thank you so much!!! 😭😭 it always makes me happy to hear the emotional weight of my work comes through! it's what i'm always trying to improve to make the little scenes in my head real :)
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thank you!!!! i never know what to say to these but they always make me smile 8)
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thank you so much!! honestly noses still give me trouble sometimes but as someone who is particular about trying to properly translate 3D shapes, especially of the face, in my rendering it's probably one of the most important landmarks :P and i think you can enhance a design sooo much with them, despite my struggles they're one of my favorite things to draw now!
i totally encourage you to start drawing again if you want to! but i'm biased of course hehe
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cute i never know how to answer these... maybe a little boring but i'm of the opinion sasuke is the clingier one in the rs :)
he's a very loving person but because of both his personality and collection of issues he struggles to fully articulate his thoughts in a manner that doesn't come off as rude or detached, but imo sasuke esp once he's out of his spiral would hate to have his love go unexpressed. so i think him having trouble with words and making up for it with flopping onto the people he loves like a large dog is sooooo cute, and i always think about how clingy he was as a baby.. he is made for latching onto people and wiggling them with a 😐 face
neji on the other hand is Weird About Intimacy since he's trained himself to be self-sufficient, and is hyperaware of how other people might perceive him due to him having to calibrate himself around his family. neji is very principled and especially when he's older won't let his anxieties keep him from doing something he believes in, but it gets a little more complicated when it comes to his personal relationships because for 90% of his life he had no hope of fostering those. so he ends up in a weird middle ground where he Does allow himself to express some of those feelings, but not fully, and often in a very self-conscious manner. his default answer to vulnerability is fluffing up like a cat because that's what's he's trained himself to do lol
so with these two in particular i think it'd combo into a lot of "flopping onto you like a weighed blanket because you're upset and i don't know what to say but i want to be here for you" situations, especially with sasuke doing it to neji because neji struggles with verbally articulating when he needs comfort like that. i think it works wonders for them because sometimes words get really messy when you have their combination of issues... it doesn't mean they can't talk through their problems of course, it just means that if something can be solved by the cat loaf maneuver it will be :)
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not reading too much into it at all, i love it! i like how much people talk about my kabuto hahaha i really want to draw him more often, i think he's a way more interesting character than he's given credit for (and this is coming from someone who really didn't like him at first :P), and his hairstyle change is one of the most obvious ways to explore that visually imo!
tysm for this, i really enjoyed reading it!
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i do! i wish more was done with her because i'm really fascinated by the implications of how she's presented, and how she could've shown that being the favorite child of someone like hiashi isn't necessarily a good thing! i always thought she seems like she's a little dissociated from life outside of the clan, which is really fun to work with (and definitely sucks for her because the clan is Not good lol)
i haven't gotten through the arduous task of watching all naruto filler (lmao) but one of my favorites is the one about hanabi and her relationship with hinata, especially the first half, episode 389 i think? i'm really obsessed with the way that episode shows what day-to-day life was like for the kids and the way the hyuga structure themselves, and how it creates distance between them. i'm pretty sure it implies hanabi (pre-plot) didn't know who neji is, for example? which i get isn't canon but i looove that thought. and on a less deep note hanabi is one of the few characters who gets a design i actually like in boruto! i think she looks soooooo cute
since i spend a lot of time thinking about them i actually am fond of all of the hyuga to some capacity, hiashi definitely in a "wow this guy sucks so much it's impressive" way but still lol i think his relationship with his brother and how it informs how he regards neji is very fascinating, or at least the directions it could have taken (if kishi cared at all.) are!
see my problem is that i wish naruto was about weird families and their issues (i am also obsessed with the suna family <3), but it is a shonen anime made for normal audiences
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Red Dead But It's...
Vampires: Kingdom of the Night
Tags: ArthurxOFC, JohnxOFC, vampire!Arthur, vampire!Dutch, horror, death, grief, warning! character death, warning! child death
Chapter Summary: Dutch proposes that Cécile try and see things from his perspective.
MASTERPOST
Chapter 23
Words: 5,312
Cécile struggled against silver chains, each movement spread stinging pain through her wrists and ankles. The metal seared into her, leaving distorted, pink flesh wherever it touched. She tried to focus through the haze of agony, blinking away tears as she took in her surroundings.
A damp cellar. Moldy walls. Death smell.
And him. Standing before her with that self-satisfied smile.
Dutch van der Linde.
"You remind me of someone I used to know," he said, smooth as honey. His eyes traveled over her face with an intimacy that made her skin itch.
Fils de pute. (Son of a bitch.)
She would have said it aloud if her throat wasn't so dry.
Cécile shivered, the cold fear seeping into her bones. Not since that night with Micah and his men had she felt this helpless, this afraid. She hated it. Hated how small it made her feel. Hated how the terror crept through her veins like poison, freezing her from within.
Her fingers trembled against the restraints, memories flashing behind her eyes. The laughter of Micah's men, the scent of cheap whiskey, the helplessness. She had sworn never to be a victim again, had transformed her body into a weapon to ensure that, yet here she was. Trapped and diminished beneath Dutch's hawkish gaze.
Dutch circled her chair. "What's your name, my dear?"
She remained silent, fixing her gaze on a crack in the wall.
"How did you meet Arthur Morgan?"
Nothing.
"Miss Odette Dubois. What does she know about the Count?"
Cécile bit her tongue. She would give this man nothing.
Dutch sighed dramatically, stopping in front of her. "I've always considered myself a gentleman," he said, adjusting his red vest. "A man of principles. I want you to know that what my men did to you," he leaned down, his face inches from hers, "was not sanctioned by me."
His breath smelled of blood and cigars. She could see the hunger in his eyes, barely contained beneath the veneer of civility.
"I don't condone violence against women. Never have."
The audacity. The absolute gall of this man. Rage bubbled up inside her, momentarily overriding her fear. Cécile gathered what little moisture remained in her mouth and spat directly into his face.
The saliva landed on his cheek, sliding down toward his perfectly trimmed moustache.
Dutch's smile vanished. With a controlled movement, he wiped his face clean, his eyes never leaving hers. "I can see we need to work on your manners," he hissed, all pretense of friendliness gone.
He straightened up, pacing again. "I was told by an associate of mine, a very old, very wise associate, that the venom in our blood is intelligent." Dutch stood behind her, thick hands settled on her shoulders. "That a blood exchange between vampires can pass all sorts of information."
She sucked in a breath. Yes, Odette had mentioned this in her teachings. Cécile had been distracted by John, who was playing that stupid knife game with his hand a few tables over, nicking his thumb with a hiss. Dieu, what did Odette said about blood exchange?
"Vampires can share blood as a way of passing more, ahem, intimate knowledge to each other."
Odette picked at the hem of her dress, a gesture she did when she noticed Arthur staring somewhere he shouldn't.
She cleared her throat, "it's not often done, but you can typically see the other's thoughts, emotions, and they can see yours. The venom can reveal all sorts of things. I believe it encourages us to bond."
Cécile remembered how her gift, the gift of memories, had transferred into her blood. How John had seen her memories after he tasted it. The gift in her blood, it didn't lie. And now it was going to expose everything to him.
"Since you refuse to give me answers willingly..." Dutch sliced his palm with a silver knife, blood welling up black in the darkness. "We'll try another approach."
Cécile turned her head away. Dutch grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, hard, until she gasped in pain. The moment her lips parted, he pressed his bleeding palm against her mouth.
The blood was thick and tainted and rotten. She tried not to swallow, but he pinched her nose. The blood slid down her throat, burning like acid.
He pulled his hand away, wiping it on a handkerchief. "Now for my part," he murmured.
Dutch leaned in close, inhaling deeply at her neck. His breath tickled her skin, and she could feel the points of his fangs grazing her flesh.
John, she thought desperately. Odette. Arthur.
Anyone.
Cécile squeezed her eyes shut as Dutch's fangs pierced her neck. The pain was sharp, then numbing. She felt him drawing her blood, felt her memories being pulled from her like threads from a tapestry. She tried to focus on something else, anything else, but the violation was too complete, the wet sounds of his feasting filling her ears.
She saw John's face, imagined his voice, the rough way he spoke to her even as his eyes went soft. She held onto that image as Dutch drank deeper, as her consciousness began to waver.
John.
SIX MONTHS AGO.
The night stank of gunpowder and sweat. Dutch van der Linde pressed his back against the rough bark of an oak, his breath ragged. Blood seeped through his fingers where he clutched his side. An O’Driscoll’s bullet had found its mark. The bastard had set a trap, and Dutch had walked right into it like a greenhorn. Javier, Bill, Micah, they all split off. He was on his own.
Shouts echoed through the trees. Lantern light flickered between the pines.
Run. Hide. Live.
Dutch staggered deeper into the woods, each step sending white-hot pain up his ribs. The ground sloped downward, the trees thinning until he stumbled into a clearing. Moonlight bathed the ruins of an old church, its crumbling walls half-swallowed by ivy. Dutch finally leaned against a wall to catch his breath and rest. The blood he'd lost was making his vision go fuzzy.
A shadow moved.
Dutch froze, pointing his revolver to the emptiness of night.
“You smell like fear.”
The voice was smooth, cultured, with an accent Dutch couldn’t place. A man stepped from the ruins. Tall and gaunt, he was draped in clothes that belonged to another era, the fabric worn but still holding that strange elegance. His skin was unnaturally pale, like moonlight given flesh, and the veins beneath it stood out dark, as though they carried history far older than blood.
Dutch’s grip tightened on his revolver, but the man’s strange eyes held him. Two faint dots of yellow, peeking through shadows like distant twin tea lights.
Dutch’s fingers closed around his gun. “Ain’t in the mood for company, friend.”
The stranger smiled. “No. You are in the mood to live.”
A branch snapped behind him. O’Driscolls.
Dutch spun, firing blindly into the dark. A scream answered, but more came. Too many.
The stranger sighed. “Pathetic.”
Then he moved.
One moment he stood beside Dutch. The next, he was floating between the O’Driscolls at light speed. Bodies dropped. Throats torn open. No gunshots. No struggle. Just silence, then wet, choking gasps.
Dutch’s stomach turned.
The stranger reappeared in front of him, wiping his mouth with a handkerchief. “Better.”
Dutch’s gun trembled in his hand. “What the hell are you?”
The stranger’s smile widened, revealing fangs. “Your God.”
Pain scolded Dutch’s neck.
The cellar reeked. Dutch lay on a cot, body burning, mind adrift. The wound in his side was gone. The hunger in his gut was new.
The Count stood over him, examining him like a specimen. “You resisted the change longer than most.”
Dutch’s tongue felt thick. “What... did you do to me?”
“Gave you power.” The Count’s fingers traced Dutch’s chest. “You were a leader of men, once. Now you will be something more.”
Dutch’s vision swam. Memories flickered. Hosea, Arthur, the gang around a campfire. Even that fool, John. Then darker things. Blood. Claws. Teeth. The Count’s whisper in his mind.
You will remake this world.
The saloon was packed, hazed in smoke and cheap whiskey. Dutch leaned against the bar, watching.
A miner slammed his fist on the table as he rambled. “Ain’t no way them Pinkertons got the right to come shootin' us up when all's we want is fair pay!”
Dutch slid into the seat beside him. “You’re right.”
The man blinked. “Huh?”
Dutch smiled. “They don’t have the right. None of them do.” He leaned in, voice dropping to a murmur, looking deep into the man's eyes. “But you do."
The miner’s eyes marbled, attuned to Dutch's new gift, and Dutch felt the same feeling as when a trout was pulling on his hook. “I... I do.”
“You ever feel like the world’s against you?” Dutch’s voice was molasses, slow and sweet. “Like no matter how hard you work, they’ll always take from you?”
The man nodded, slack-jawed, marble-eyed.
Dutch placed a hand on his shoulder. “What if I told you there’s another way?”
By midnight, the miner followed him out into the dark, eager as a pup.
By dawn, he was drained.
Dutch wiped his mouth, staring at the corpse at his feet. The Count slithered through his mind.
Good. The more you use the gift, the stronger it grows.
Dutch rode through the forest, moonlight filtering through the canopy. The hunger roared in him, but it wasn't just for blood. He craved something else. Companionship, understanding. The Count had taught him much about his new self, but there was a hollowness, a loneliness to immortality that the old vampire never mentioned.
The face of Annabelle drifted through his mind, smiling and laughing. Even Molly, with all her demands and jealousy, had filled a space in his life that now yawned empty. He'd built up the numbers the Count wanted using his gift of charm, his followers, but they weren't family. Not like the gang.
My gang.
He hadn't meant to stay away from them for so long. The transformation, the hunger, learning to control it. It had consumed him. But now, with his gift strengthened, perhaps he could return. Perhaps he could make them understand.
The familiar silhouette of Horseshoe Overlook appeared through the trees. Dutch slowed his horse, listening. Voices, heartbeats, the crackle of campfire. Home.
Dutch dismounted at the edge of camp, straightening his vest. He took a deep breath and stepped into the light.
"Who's there?" Lenny called, rifle raised.
"It's me, son," Dutch replied, smooth as river stones.
"Dutch? DUTCH!"
The commotion rippled through camp. They came running. Hosea first, then Pearson, Karen, Mary-Beth. Their faces lit with relief, joy. Dutch felt something stir inside, something almost like his old self.
"Where the hell you been? Arthur just rode out lookin' for you this mornin'!" Hosea demanded, gripping his shoulders, wearied eyes searching his face.
Dutch smiled. "Had some business to attend to. Ran into trouble."
"We thought you was dead," Miss Grimshaw said.
Then Molly pushed through the crowd, her red hair gleaming in the firelight. "Dutch?" Her voice broke on his name.
He opened his arms, and she fell into them.
That night, the camp celebrated. Drink flowed freely, stories were shared. Dutch watched them all, his family, their hearts pumping rich blood through their veins. He pushed the hunger down, focusing instead on their faces, their jokes and songs.
Later, in his tent, Molly's hands traced his chest. "I missed you," she whispered. "Don't you ever leave me like that again."
Dutch stroked her face in his hands. "Never."
Their lovemaking was feverish, hungry. Dutch lost himself in her warmth, in the rhythm of her heartbeat. She moved with him, gasping his name, her neck exposed, pulse visible beneath her pale skin. The scent of her, Irish whiskey and wildflowers, filled his nostrils, intoxicating him further. His fingers tangled in her copper hair as he claimed her mouth again, tasting the salt of her sweat and joyful tears.
With each thrust, Dutch felt the thin veil between his control and his nature growing more transparent. Molly's skin flushed pink with exertion, blood rushing just beneath the surface, calling to him like a feather bed after a long day. Her fingernails raked down his back, unaware of the beast they provoked.
His pleasure reached its peak. The hunger surged.
Dutch tried to fight it, tried to pull away, but the scent of her blood was too strong. His fangs extended, and before he could stop himself, they sank into her throat.
Molly's eyes flew open, her scream muffled by his hand. She thrashed, her nails raking his back, but he couldn't stop. Her blood filled his mouth, hot and sweet, better than anything he'd tasted before. He drank deeply, feeling her heartbeat slow, then stutter, then stop.
Dutch pulled back, horror washing over him as he stared at Molly's lifeless face. Blood stained the sheets, her nightgown, his hands. He'd tried to feed his blood to her, turn her like the Count had done for him. But her lips never moved.
"What have I done?" he whispered.
The taste of her lingered on his tongue, and the hunger began to rise again, louder, more demanding. Outside, he could hear the others, their heartbeats like drums calling to him.
Dutch looked at his hands, at Molly's body. Then he heard the Count's voice stir in his mind.
They'll never understand.
They're too weak.
They won't survive the turning.
They'll kill you.
Kill them first.
When Dutch left the tent, he saw Hosea first, writing by the campfire. When he looked up, Dutch caught the old man's gaze, which became fearful only for a second at the sight of him covered in blood, before Dutch's gift flowed, charm rolling out like a tide.
"You're tired, old friend. So tired."
Hosea's eyes glazed. He blinked slow. "Tired..."
Dutch let him slump over in sleep, then sank his teeth into his neck. The blood of his oldest friend tasted of bourbon. Dutch swore he could feel his essence, his wisdom, in the rich, thick liquid that spilled from him.
One by one, they came to check on him. One by one, they fell under his charm. Susan, Karen, Miss Grimshaw, Tilly. Although, Tilly seemed to resist, breaking the call of his charm, backing away with fear in her eyes before running off. Sadie had seen him coming and hit him over the head with a frying pan. It bought her only a few seconds, but she'd used it to grab Mary-Beth's hand and the two made a run for it.
Charles, too, tried to talk sense before he'd fled. But Dutch couldn't hear it through the haze of the bloodlust. Those who'd gotten past the edges of the camp, Dutch let go. He was too caught up in the feeding frenzy to chase them.
Pearson tried to fight when he saw the bodies. Dutch broke his neck before feeding.
Lenny ran. Dutch caught him by the campfire.
"Molly?" Abigail spoke through the night. She stood at the entrance to Dutch's tent, Jack clutched to her chest.
Dutch turned, blood dripping from his chin. "Abigail," he said, pushing his charm toward her. "There's nothing to fear."
Dutch watched Abigail's eyes glaze over, her grip on Jack loosening as his charm took hold. She fought harder than the others, her love for her son momentarily breaking through the fog. Her lips parted, a silent plea forming before the charm swallowed her resistance whole.
"That's it," Dutch murmured, stepping closer. "Nothing to fear."
Jack looked up at him, confusion in his innocent eyes. "Uncle Dutch?"
Dutch knelt before the boy, his hand gentle on Jack's cheek. The child's pulse fluttered beneath his fingertips like a trapped bird. So fragile. So pure. Dutch had always had a soft spot for the boy, had promised John he'd look after him. But John had abandoned them all, hadn't he? Left his family behind without a second thought.
They're better off with me. I can give them eternity.
"It's alright, Jack," Dutch said, his voice hypnotic. "You and your mama are gonna come with me now."
Abigail swayed on her feet, her eyes vacant. "Dutch..."
"Shh." He guided her back to her tent, Jack still clutched to her leg. The boy's heartbeat quickened, some animal instinct warning him even as Dutch's charm dulled his fear.
Dutch took Abigail's face in his hands, tilting it up to meet his gaze. Her skin was warm beneath his cold fingers. "You've been so strong, Miss Roberts. Taking care of that boy all on your own."
A tear slipped down her cheek. Somewhere deep inside, she was still fighting.
Dutch leaned in, his lips brushing her ear. "Let go now. I'll take care of everything."
His fangs sank into her neck, and her blood flooded his mouth. Throbbing with the fierce spirit that had always defined her. Abigail gasped, her body stiffening before going slack in his arms. Dutch drank deeply, feeling her heartbeat slow with each pull of his mouth.
No, it shouldn't be slowing this quickly. He'd meant to stop. Why couldn't he stop?
Jack whimpered, small hands pushing at Dutch's legs. "Mama?"
Dutch released Abigail, letting her slump to the ground. Her eyes stared sightlessly at the stars above, blood pooling beneath her head. He hadn't meant to drain her. He wanted to turn her, but the hunger had overwhelmed him. The taste of her blood had driven all thought from his mind. Rich and vibrant, it coursed through him like liquid fire, burning away reason and restraint. Dutch could feel her essence becoming part of him, her thoughts flickering behind his eyes like dying embers. It was intoxicating, this communion of life and death, this final intimacy.
He turned to Jack, the boy's face wet with tears. "Don't cry, son," Dutch said, wiping a tear from Jack's cheek with his bloodstained thumb. "You'll see your mama again soon."
Jack tried to run, his small legs carrying him only a few steps before Dutch caught him. The boy's screams were muffled against Dutch's vest as he lifted him, cradling him almost tenderly.
"I'm sorry, Jack," Dutch whispered. "I truly am."
His fangs pierced the child's throat, delicate as a thorn. Jack's blood was different. It burned going down, almost too pure for what Dutch had become. For a flash, Dutch felt something long buried. Regret, perhaps. The ghost of his humanity scratching beneath the surface of his immortal shell. And when he blinked, it was gone.
He drank slowly this time, savoring each swallow, feeling the small body grow lighter in his arms. When Jack's heart gave its final, fluttering beat, Dutch laid him gently beside Abigail, arranging the boy in his mother's arms as if they were merely sleeping.
Dutch stood over them, blood drying on his chin. The camp was silent now, save for the crackle of the dying fire. Bodies lay where they had fallen. His family, his people. The hunger was sated, but a new emptiness had taken hold inside him.
What have I done?
Clarity broke through the Count's influence for a second. Dutch stared at his hands, at the carnage around him. Hosea's unseeing eyes. Miss Grimshaw's broken form. Abigail and Jack.
Dutch wept. Though whether it was for himself or for his gang, he couldn't tell.
Then the Count's voice in his mind, cold and reassuring.
They were weak. Unworthy. You've freed them from their pathetic existence.
Dutch straightened, adjusting his vest with bloodstained fingers. Yes, the Count was right. They were weak. This was mercy. Evolution was coming. The strong survived, and the weak perished. It had always been the way of things.
He looked around the camp once more, noting the missing faces. Charles. Sadie. Tilly. Mary-Beth. They had escaped. And Arthur. Arthur had ridden out looking for him.
Dutch smiled, fangs gleaming in the firelight. His most loyal son. His right hand. Arthur would understand. Arthur would join him. Together, they would build something new, something greater than this band of outlaws could ever have been.
Dutch mounted his pale horse, and rode into the night.
He didn't look back. His future lay elsewhere. In the night-city of Saint Denis, where the Count waited with promises of power and purpose. But first, he would find the others. Bill, Javier, Micah. Then Arthur.
His family would be whole again, reborn in blood and darkness.
Days later, Dutch sat alone in the dimly lit parlor of the abandoned plantation house he'd claimed as his new headquarters. Outside, rain pattered against the windows, echoing the emptiness that gnawed at him from within. He ran his finger along the rim of his glass, the bourbon untouched. It wouldn't satisfy him anyway. Nothing did since that night at camp.
The faces haunted him. Hosea's eyes, wide with betrayal. Miss Grimshaw's final gasp. Little Jack's tears. Dutch had tried to push the memories away, to embrace what the Count called his "ascension," but in quiet moments like these, everything he'd done crushed him.
Bill and Javier had joined him willingly enough when he found them. The promise of immortality, of power beyond human limitations, had seduced them as it had him. Micah, predictably, had taken to vampirism like he was born for it, relishing the violence, the control over others.
But they weren't family. Not really. Not like Arthur and John.
Dutch slammed his fist on the table, cracking the mahogany. Arthur hadn't returned to camp that night. Neither had John, having abandoned them months before. The two sons he'd raised, gone when he needed them most.
"Boss?" Micah appeared in the doorway, hat in hand. "The boys are getting restless. We've been cooped up here for days."
Dutch didn't look up. "Let them be restless."
"Thought you wanted to build something. An army, you said." Micah stepped closer, his boots creaking on the floorboards. "Hard to do that if you're moping around like some lovesick schoolgirl."
Dutch's hand shot out, catching Micah by the throat and lifting him off the ground. "Mind your tone."
Micah didn't struggle, just smiled that rat's smile of his. His palms went up innocently. "Just saying what needs saying. You ain't been yourself since—"
"Since I slaughtered everyone who ever trusted me?" Dutch released him, turning away. "Is that what you were gonna say?"
Micah rubbed his throat. "They were weak. You said so yourself."
Had he? Dutch couldn't remember anymore what were his thoughts and what were the Count's whispers. He moved to the window, staring out at the rain-soaked grounds. The emptiness inside him branched out, grew wider. A void that blood couldn't fill. An army couldn't fill.
"I miss her," Dutch said quietly.
"Miss who? That Irish whore?"
Dutch whirled, eyes flashing. "Molly was—" He stopped. What had Molly been to him? A distraction? A possession? He'd never loved her, not really. Not like Annabelle.
No, it wasn't Molly he missed. It was the feeling of being wanted. Needed. Loved.
But what woman in her right mind could ever love him now?
He sighed. "I want a woman," Dutch said. "Someone new."
Micah's eyebrows rose. "There's plenty in Saint Denis. Take your pick."
Dutch shook his head. "No. I want someone special. Someone beautiful." He paced the room, energy surging through him. "Someone I can shape into something... perfect."
The idea took root, growing with each step. Yes, that's what he needed. Not just any woman, but someone young enough to be influenced, old enough to be interesting. Someone who would look at him with adoration, not the fear he saw in the eyes of those he charmed.
"Round up the men," Dutch ordered, regaining his old authority. "I want search parties. Tell them to find me the most beautiful woman they can. Young, preferably. Someone with spirit. And redheaded."
Micah grinned. "And what do we do when we find her?"
Dutch straightened his vest, his mind clearing. "Turn her. Bring her to me."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that." Dutch's smile didn't reach his eyes. "And Micah? Make sure they understand. She's to be unharmed beyond the turning. You push too far, you'll kill her, and the process has to start all over again with someone else."
Micah nodded, backing toward the door. "Whatever you say, boss."
When he was gone, Dutch returned to the window. The rain had stopped, and a sliver of moon peeked through the clouds. He thought of Abigail, of the fierce loyalty in her eyes whenever she looked at Jack. He thought of Mary-Beth and her romantic novels, of Karen and her sharp tongue, of Tilly and her quiet dignity.
Gone or dead, all of 'em, due to his handiwork.
They were weak, the Count whispered in his mind. The woman they find will be stronger. Better.
Dutch closed his eyes, letting the whisper soothe him. Yes, this was the answer. A companion for eternity. The Count hadn't steered him wrong before.
The next evening, Dutch watched as Bill, Javier, and several new recruits rode out in different directions. Their orders were clear: find the most beautiful young woman they could, turn her, and bring her back. His perfect bride. His new beginning.
As the sound of hoofbeats faded into the night, Dutch felt the emptiness inside him shift, making room for anticipation. For hope.
He would have a family again. He would not be alone.
Cécile gasped as the flood of memories receded, leaving her trembling. Her wrists burned where the chains touched her skin, but that pain was nothing compared to the horror of what she'd witnessed.
She had seen everything. The Count turning Dutch. The slaughter at camp. The cold calculation as Dutch sent men to find women to turn.
Her stomach lurched as the final images faded. Dutch's twisted desire for a new bride, someone to replace what he'd lost. Someone young, malleable. Someone like her.
Dutch staggered back with shocked eyes. He steadied himself against a table, rage and fascination crossing his features.
"I saw... You—you saw." His voice was barely above a whisper. Then he laughed. A hollow, terrible sound. "Memories. That must be your gift."
Cécile said nothing, but her silence confirmed his words.
Dutch circled her chair, studying her with new interest. "Fascinating. Truly fascinating." He tilted his head. "And now I've seen yours too."
He leaned in close, his breath cold against her ear. "John Marston." He spat the name like poison. "That's who you pine for? That pathetic excuse for an outlaw who couldn't even raise his family properly?" When she was silent, unreacting to his prodding, he poked again, "You can speak English, right?"
Cécile jerked her head away, refusing to look at him.
Ne le regarde pas. Ne montre pas ta peur. (Don't look at him. Don't show your fear.)
He simply tutted, shook his head.
"Why a beauty like you would hang all over John Marston like a sad monkey in a tree, I would never understand." Dutch chuckled, running a finger along her jawline. "He was always the weakest of us. Always running when things got hard."
She tried to bite his finger, but he pulled away too quickly, laughing at her attempt.
"Such spirit," he murmured. "Such fire. Y'know, all the other search parties, their women ended up dead. You're the only one that actually survived the turning. Micah said you'd escaped. But then, you went and turned Arthur for me, too. I can't help but think that's destiny. Fate, right?"
Dutch moved to stand before her, straightening his vest. He looked almost regal in the dim light, a king surveying his domain. Only his eyes betrayed the madness within, golden and hungry.
"You've seen what I can do," he said, his voice dropping to that hypnotic cadence she'd heard in her mind before. "I could make you say yes. But I already know there's no fun in that."
Cécile fought against the chains, ignoring the searing pain as the silver burned deeper into her flesh. She tried to bite back her cries, and was almost successful.
"So I'll offer you a choice," Dutch continued, seemingly amused by her struggle. "Marry me. Be my bride, and together we could inherit a kingdom of the night. We could rule this city like a king and queen."
He straightened up, the charm falling away like ash in the rain. "Or you can say no. And you can sit right there and watch me kill John Marston and Odette Dubois and Arthur Morgan and everyone else you love. It's your choice."
Cécile felt sick. Through their recent blood exchange, she knew he meant every word. She had seen the carnage he was capable of, felt the twisted pleasure he took in it.
"You are a demon," she spat. "You kill your own people. Your own family."
Dutch's face lit up. "So you can speak! Thank the Lord. I thought I was gonna have to learn French."
When she still gave him another bout of silence, he sighed and shrugged. "My old family… they weren't strong enough. The venom knows who's worthy."
"John will kill you."
Dutch laughed again, louder this time. "John? That boy couldn't even protect his own family. What makes you think he can protect you? Hell, what makes you think he even gives a shit about you? He barely gave a shit about them."
The words cut, not because they were true, but because Cécile had seen the guilt eating away at John. The way it drove him to spend long hours at the bar, drinking. His tears after seeing the strange visions he saw when he drank her blood.
"Truly, I am sorry for what Micah did to you." Dutch continued, softening to what almost sounded like genuine regret. "He'll be disciplined. I swear it to you. Just… try and understand. Y'know, blondes aren't exactly my type, but we all have to make compromises sometimes."
She rolled her eyes, jerking her head away as he twirled a lock of her hair in his fingers. "You'll change your mind, once you see what we're trying to build here."
Cécile refused to look in his crazed eyes. "Rien. (Nothing.) You build nothing. You only destroy."
Dutch's sympathy evaporated. He grabbed her by the chin, forcing her to face him. "I am offering you everything. Power. Eternity. A place at my side."
"I would rather burn," she hissed.
"That can be arranged." Dutch released her chin roughly. "I'll make sure you go last once our friends get here."
He turned away, walking toward the door. "Think about my offer, ma chérie."
His pronunciation of French was terrible, and Cécile would have laughed if the situation weren't so dire.
She did have to consider his offer. If Odette's life was truly on the line, if John's or Arthur's… She couldn't let a marriage be the reason they die. Even if it meant one with Dutch. Maybe she'd find the right moment in his sleep and drag a blade across his throat… It was risky, though, agreeing to anything with this man. But could she stand it if he followed through with his threats? Could she stand watching them die?
Odette, Arthur, John.
They'd been the only family she'd known since her father died. The only spark of hope she felt since coming to America six months ago, she felt it when John kissed her back.
What she'd give to feel that again.
That moment had burned itself into her memory. His rough hands holding her, the taste of whiskey on his breath, the way his scars felt beneath her fingertips. It was the first time since her father's death that she'd felt anything but rage or fear. Now, trapped in this hell of Dutch's making, she clung to that memory, a drowning woman to driftwood.
Chapter 24
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Bishamon Sentry Isekai Outfits
Kenshiro - "The Veiled Sentinel" (Dark Paladin)
Quote: "Even in darkness, I stand unbroken, for victory belongs to the steadfast."
Once a devoted disciple of the God of War, Kenshiro stood as a loyal Paladin, dedicated to upholding the sacred principles of justice and protection. However, calamity befell him when marauders invaded his village in his absence, brutally killing his wife and leaving him amidst ruins and ash. Consumed by sorrow and hopelessness, he forsook his holy vows, surrendering to the darkness within, driven to exact ruthless revenge on the culprits of his misery. This act of violence and rage stained his spirit, metamorphosing him into a figure of formidable power and corruption. Ostracized from his order, he returned to his daughters, resolute in his mission to protect them from the dangers of the world and seek forgiveness for his transgressions. Now, living a quiet and reflective existence in the countryside, Kenshiro strives to master the shadows within him. Yet, as the malevolent influence of the Dark Kingdom creeps ever nearer to his home, destiny may summon him to draw his sword once more—not for revenge, but for redemption.
"The shadows may claim my body, but my soul remains a shield for those I love."
Niko - "The Enigmatic Artisan" (Spellthief)
Quote: "Art is temporary, much like the glow of stars disappearing into darkness. Yet, I will ensure it shines brilliantly before it vanishes."
Niko, a child of a once-noble Paladin yearning for atonement, was raised amidst shadows but discovered her own brilliance through creativity and artistry. Possessing a keen intellect and a knack for spellcraft, she honed the skill of breathing life into beauty and rediscovering lost marvels, utilizing her unique talents as a spellthief. Motivated by her father’s tenacity, Niko charted her distinct course, skillfully merging charm, imagination, and agility to maneuver through a tumultuous world. Her loyalty to her family is steadfast, compelling her to guard them fiercely. As the Dark Kingdom's power looms ever larger, Niko readies herself to resist, wielding her magic like a fleeting star, transient yet formidable. Even in the bleakest of nights, she demonstrates that ingenuity and resolve can illuminate a path ahead.
"Be cautious about where you look. What you hold dear could disappear in an instant. And I will be the unseen force behind its absence."
Saeko - "The Muse of Wonder" (Bard)
Quote: "Every story starts with a spark of wonder—let's see where this one takes us!"
The youngest member of the Sugi family, Saeko, was raised in the comforting presence of her father's quiet resilience and her sister's vibrant imagination. While her father, a former Paladin, worked to keep his daughters sheltered from the burdens of his past, Saeko approached life with an insatiable curiosity, finding delight in weaving tales and melodies that painted their small, tranquil existence in vibrant hues. Her songs tell stories of hope and adventure, spinning dreams that encourage those around her to look beyond the ordinary. Although her playful demeanor often conceals her keen insight, Saeko fiercely protects her family, using her musical talents to bring them together and lift their spirits. Now, as the ominous threat of the Dark Kingdom looms over them, Saeko's tunes have taken on a more determined intensity. Armed with her voice and lute, she resolves to demonstrate that even in the depths of despair, wonder and hope can shine through.
"Every verse I craft is a melody of dreams. I hope it will linger long after the silence."
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