#and I didn’t want to bring negative energy into the new year

[evansbby]

Happy new year, everyone!

[nayatarot777]

the positive karma that you have coming in 2024

• pile one •

your energy during this past year (2023):

this year has been all about completing cycles and life lessons. related to what and who you give your energy to. you’ve had to learn how to stand on your boundaries when it comes to giving and receiving your time, money, and effort. there may have been a lot of people who were coming to you for a lot of help, using you as a pillar of strength for themselves. and while you may have been happy to do this, you realised that the give and take between you and these people were not equal. perhaps it wasn’t even a purposeful thing on their part, but they didn’t even have enough energy to give to themselves so there was never going to be a time when they could repay your energy back to you. this lesson has been learned and completed now.

there are also decisions that you’ve made that you’ve decided to just throw yourself into. options were available to you (particularly when it comes to creative projects or hobbies) and you decided to take a leap of faith when going after whatever options were available to you. i feel like you realised that staying stagnant was actually harming you so you forced yourself into a state of action in order to transform your life or yourself in some way.

there’s a lot of success that you’ve experienced as a result of this. a lot of support for whatever you’re working on too. there’s a lot of fire energy here so the action that you were giving to things and people that left you drained has now been redirected to what you’re working on, with a lot of motivation and inspiration, and you’ve gained followers or supporters of your work along the way. i’m hearing that this is a very loyal group of people who want to continuously support you too. you might’ve had to deal with indecision on this path, wondering if you were working the “right way” or if this would be profitable for you in some way - but it is. these supporters aren’t leaving, even when you take a break to question whether or not you should switch up your path.

your energy in 2024:

you’re going to be a lot more focused and serious in 2024 - especially in relation to a stable and happy life. you’re going to be experiencing the destruction of self-limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns. you could go in and out of these things, but your mind is going to be a lot more stable and focused on what you’re achieving this year. there’s pretty much nothing that can influence the way that you think and what you believe about the life that you’re building for yourself. for some of you specifically, you’ll be focusing on moving into a new home. and whatever home you move into, it’ll be a very happy one. whether you’re moving into this by yourself or with someone else.

you’re also going to be more focused on celebrating your achievements which may be something that you neglected doing before. there’s a lot of happy times here, thanks to some sort of teamwork. this is teamwork either between you and a friend or partner, or teamwork between you and your guides. this could even be a business partner. either way, your hard work and efforts will manifest a lot of positivity and happiness for you. i’m also seeing fast communication when it comes to collaboration that will involve a lot of learning from others and/or teaching other people a valuable skillset too. and this will bring finances to you. especially if any of you are doing any type of life/spiritual coaching work or you’re aiming to do a work project with a group of people.

you’ll be attracting a lot of financial abundance as well as physical stability. things won’t be so uncertain when it comes to your practical life. you’ve been in the energy of financial lack and poverty but by the end of the year, you’ll be more than comfortable and emotionally fulfilled. i mean, you have the queen of pentacles clarified by the ten of cups for the end of the year. it can’t get much better than that 😂

and i’m hearing that this is because you kept yourself in the energy of receiving finances and stability even when your external reality didn’t reflect that. i feel like a lot of you are experiencing lack but you’re still spiritually abundant. this is what you call trusting in your manifestations.

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• pile two •

your energy during this past year (2023):

your energy this year was centred around communication, your thought processes, your stability, and receiving financial abundance. at the beginning of the year, you were learning how to look for opportunities to go towards that would’ve helped you in laying down a stable foundation for yourself financially. and you were learning ways to practically ground the visionary ideas that were coming to you. there has been a lot of studying, learning, and practice of a skillset that you’ve successfully developed - perhaps with the help of other people’s skills through studying their work.

you’ve learned to listen to the guidance that spirit/your spirit guides have been trying to give you. you’ve maybe even learned how to have a wider perspective of your opportunities available to you or just about what’s achievable in life in general. there’s something here about your development in your work triggering other people. you may or may not have known this at the time, but it seems like some people in the same field as you felt as though your work was higher quality than their’s. this is the energy of starting something new, joining a workplace or a community of people, and knocking any competition out of the water. even if you weren’t competing with anyone - people felt the need to compete with you 👀. but there was no competition. again, you may or may not know this. i feel like most of you don’t because you’re just minding your business and directing your focus to working on your craft. and that’s why you’re succeeding more than these people. because they don’t mind their damn business, always in competition with people. you do mind your business. and you’re in competition with nobody but yourself. period 💅🏾

by the end of 2023, you’ve MAJORLY developed your communication skills as well as the skills required for your work. and your ability to attract financial abundance too. you’ve gone from the page of swords + the page of coins to the queen of swords + the queen of coins. and this is extremely fast development. you may be someone who usually develops quickly but this isn’t the usual for people. especially when it comes to the physical realm (coin/pentacle energy). that’s the slowest moving energy within the universe that we live in and you’ve managed to develop that energy within a year. doesn’t matter if you don’t feel like you’ve done anything much in terms of your work or your business or whatever this is. you’ve done A LOT. give yourself props.

your energy in 2024:

the first card out for your energy in 2024 is the four of coins. financial stability. feeling financially comfortable and having all of your needs met. not having to worry about money because you know that you have enough. your spirit guides are coming through heavily with this energy. you might be someone who’s extremely giving, constantly wanting to give to those around you. but your spirit guides are protecting your money. they’re protecting your money in general for sure, but specifically from people who may want to just take from you monetarily. there’s also a message to keep your financial state as PRIVATE as you possible can. i’m seeing that some of you have scorpio or pluto in the 2nd house. keep your money private to protect it from evil eye. your guides are protecting it from the influence of negative energy anyway, but i’m hearing that they’d rather not have to defend it more than necessary 😂. they want to focus on helping you to stack your money up, not waste their energy on evil-eyeing, jealous bitches who are secretly hating. so try to keep this is private as possible. especially from family if you have toxic family members who you may feel (or know) would rather you not do better for yourself. but in 2024, you’re financially comfortable and stable.

there’s also something about major responsibility given to you. the responsibility of being a leader or teacher in a spiritual group, or just in a workplace. i’m mainly picking up on religion, philosophy, or a structure that people come to for spiritual guidance and help. your spiritual beliefs are also solidifying themselves. you’re gaining some type of spiritual knowledge that’s going to become a closely-followed belief for you. some of you might also start going to a church, a mosque, synagogue, etc. just a religious or spiritual place of worship. and here is where you’re going to find a major opportunity for yourself. the hierophant and the high priestess has both come out in this part of the reading for you. this is a divine counterpart. i’m really feeling like a lot of you will be exploring traditional beliefs and religions and seeing the hidden, occult knowledge within it. so, for example, if you begin to read the bible, then this is where the knowledge from religion will come from - but not in the typical way. you’ll be able to see the metaphysical and occultist knowledge that’s interwoven into these traditional texts. how scripture is spellwork, manifestation techniques, how jesus was an occultist himself, etc. that’s just one example. and i’m hearing that spirit will be giving you valuable knowledge through downloads through traditional scripture and text.

you’re finding a lot of pure, genuine love for your work. this love is coming from you towards what you do, but also from other people who love what you do too. there’s a lot of communication of genuine love from those who enjoy your work and how you help them with it. there may be a pause towards the end of the year in relation to your work, but this will be an intentional pause made by you to just enjoy the fruits of your labour as well as seeing what’s beyond the horizon for your work too. perhaps even where you’d like to start to invest money in terms of assets, property, etc. there is going to be a lot of love expressed to you for your work, for your spiritual knowledge and leadership, etc. and i feel like you may have felt like this was lacking in 2023, but 2024 is the year that love for your work is flowing.

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• pile three •

your energy during this past year (2023):

you guys were dealing with a lot of deception, lies, gaslighting even. a lot of mental manipulation and illusions being thrown at you. this stagnated your mental space and your intuition. you didn’t know what to believe nor what to think and it’s almost like you couldn’t find a way out of it. even if you protected yourself from the source of this confusion and manipulation, it still affected your mind and put you in the energy of mentally being stuck. going back and forth between 2 perceptions of this person or this situation. questioning your own intuition. there’s something about not being able to rely on what you physically see with your physical eyes and having to rely on your third-eye - which was still fucked with because i’m seeing that you struggled to even trust in your intuition thanks to whatever this deceitful energy was.

gradually, you balanced out your mind and recognised the truth about this person or this thing. even if the physical world wasn’t reflecting what you knew intuitively about this, it seems like you settled on trusting what you know and not what you were physically shown in this situation. there’s also an energy of blocking communication with someone who was very deceitful. and you decided that you did the correct thing, after a long period of going back and forth about whether or not you were correct about this person. you were. they might’ve tried to communicate with you again but you shut that shit down and your guides are wanting me to tell you that you successfully passed the karmic lesson with this person. you were successful in putting into practice a lesson that your guides have been wanting you to learn, so now you have a lot of recognition for that in the spirit realm.

this whole situation was very burdensome for you to deal with. this person was burdensome, but you’ve laid the burdens down to rest. you’ve gained more stability in your self-assurance in your intuition and your self esteem. there’s a completion in relation to a lesson with these two things. the lesson of putting yourself first, not burdening yourself with other people’s problems, and trusting your intuition about people when something feels off. you’ve stepped into emperor energy as a result of this. taking lead of your life and protecting and defending yourself when necessary.

your energy in 2024:

this year, you’re having some sort of awakening in relation to your creativity, sensuality (your physical appearance specifically), and even your sexuality or sexual needs for some of you. everything related to what brings you joy and what makes you feel comfortable. and i feel like this is a result of finally learning to focus on yourself in order to ask yourself what you want for yourself. there’s going to be a lot of love that you have towards a new beginning in your physical life - especially money and luxuries. and you’re also finding a lot of support (mainly from your guides) when finding these things. you’re almost at the end of a very long, drawn out journey - but there’s one more major thing that you have to realise about life itself before this journey can come to a completion. this journey has a lot to do with self-worth and knowing what you deserve.

there’s a lot of energy related to manifestation here (as you are recognising something about creation). this realisation is about the emotions that you feel towards the physical realm. feeling like there’s something valuable to attract or to find in every situation that you’re in. this is what will bring you success and perhaps even recognition in your creative projects. especially if you’re self employed or if you’re planning to start a side-hustle. this year, you’re learning that your feelings towards life plays a part in the opportunities for financial abundance or just practical stability in general that are presented to you. you’re listening more to the feelings of happiness and joy and paying more attention to where they come from. because where your genuine happiness comes from is where you can create and manifest easiest.

the overall energy of your 2024 is the wheel of fortune, which is extremely fitting. it’s a card about the wheel turning in your favour, and life becoming the complete opposite of what it was before. you’ve been through it in 2023, with all types of rumination and stress and anxiety. but 2024 is about following the path of joy and what actually makes you happy - again, putting yourself first instead of weighing yourself down with burdens from other people who aren’t worth it. i’m also hearing that there’s “strength in numbers”. the more you follow this path, the greater the number of spirit guides (and people who will support you with your passions) will increase. there’s a lot of support for you throughout 2024 because you’re finally supporting yourself instead of prioritising supporting others instead. again, your feelings about life will determine what you attract. you feel like you deserve support and recognition (which is why you’re giving those things to yourself now), so that’s what will manifest in your physical reality too. “as within, so without”. funnily enough, i’ve just googled the actual meaning of that phrase and here’s what it says:

“The second part of the quote, “As within, so without,” suggests that our external reality is a reflection of our internal reality. What we think and feel inside of ourselves is manifested in our external circumstances and experiences.”

which sums up this whole reading. ain’t that crazy? 😂 this awakening is happening within you and your understanding of your own creative abilities regarding life in general and how they work for you. a spiritual wakening fr 💀

be proud of yourself, because this internal awareness wouldn’t be happening if you didn’t CHOOSE to do the work (especially shadow work) in the first place. you chose not to stay stagnant despite seeing no way out of your stagnancy this past year - instead of deciding to fall into a victim complex 👏🏾

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[itsphoenix0724]

could i please request a part two to the az x reader, but now she confronts rhysand?

Hold Me Gently (Azriel x Reader)~ Bonus Chapter!

Warnings: mentions of negative self-talk, depression

Word Count: 1k

Hold Me Gently

A/N: Hi Anon! Thank you for requesting, I appreciate the visit to my inbox! I wasn't ever really planning on writing a part 2, so I called this a bonus chapter because it's not essential to the main story. I hope you enjoy it, and feel free to come again <3 as always constructive criticism is welcome! I wrote this very quickly so it's not edited I apologize!

The River House lawn shook when your feet finally touched the perfectly manicured yard. You had waited until Azriel was finally asleep in your bed before you had come, he might try to stop you, but you’d given yourself a pretty damn good headstart. Your power throws open the doors with a blast of unrestrained energy, and it’s Feyre who sees you first as she runs down the stairs. 

“What’s wrong?” Your High Lady asks concern filling her eyes as she attempts to cup your jaw. You hold her at arm's length. This isn’t a battle she’s a part of. 

“Ask your mate,” you growl back, venom filling every inch of your veins as you tear past her heading right for Rhys’s office. If he wasn’t there you’d bring the entire house down around you to find him. Feyre looks after you in shock, probably mentally reaching out to Az to ask what was wrong. Or maybe she warned Rhys your fury was coming fast because he’s sitting at his desk like the picture of ease. 

“What can I do for you?” Rhys purrs from behind his desk, he’s put on his High Lord mask today. If this was how he wanted to play so be it. 

“Do you enjoy hurting your family?” That clearly wasn’t the question Rhys thought you were going to ask as his eyebrows raised in shock. “Or are you just that intentionally blind that you refuse to see what you’re doing to Azriel?” A dark glint lights in Rhy’s eyes as he leans forward, the picture of a calm perfect predator. 

“And what, pray tell, am I doing to Azriel?” He sends a wave of night-kissed power your way, trying to bank the rising flames in your chest. The authority almost makes you want to cave, but you hold strong. 

“So I suppose we’re going with intentionally blind then?” The flames rise higher, the ash threatening to drown your lungs. “You know that his work is harming his health, and yet you continue to use your brother as a weapon anyway.” Red clouds your vision at the lack of reaction from Rhysand, you might get violent quickly if it continues on like this. Feyre bursts through the door a minute later, coming to rest on the arm of Rhys’s chair. 

“Azriel doesn’t know you’re here.” She says it matter of factly and you nod. “We make decisions in this court together, that rage should be equally targeted at me,” Feyre says with finality but that doesn’t make it true. 

“Feyre, with all due respect. You are not equals in this.” both of them blink back in surprise and Rhys looks ready to rage war. Good, now he finally knows how you feel. “It’s nothing against you, but you are still a new member of this court. Rhys has known Azriel for 500 years, and you have been here for five, it is not the same. There are still things you don’t know about this family. You didn’t grow up with Az, you don’t know him like he does. You are my High Lady, and I will always love you, but you have no ground in this.” Feyre settles, opens her mouth to say something, and then closes it again before nodding at you to continue, moving to sit in the armchair beside the bookcase. You settle your hands on the desk looking at Rhys like you want to sever his head from his body as you address him again. “You continue to treat Azriel like something to be used, you know how he feels after every mission, and yet you order him to continue anyway. You know that it makes him feel worthless, and I’m here to say that enough is enough. You don’t get to turn a blind eye anymore because if it doesn’t directly affect you or Feyre you choose to ignore it.” 

“Azriel swore an oath to this court. He knew what the position entailed.” Rhysand states calmly, rising to meet your eyes. 

“He made that oath 300 years ago when he was barely a young adult. Things do change over long periods of time whether or not you want them to.” You scoff, raising your eyebrow and leaning closer into his space. Even as you see the temper rising in his eyes you won’t stop until Rhys sees what he’s been doing to his brother even if you say something that might get you exiled from this court. “What? Going to send me on a week-long hike now because I’m telling the truth?” The dig is obvious and dark power starts to pulse in a way that makes your knees want to buckle. You refuse to sit, this is your mate you’re defending. 

“As his High Lord, he does this court a great service. If he has an issue he can come to me himself.” Rhys snarls out. Feyre looks like she’s readying herself to jump in between the two of you if need be. 

“As his brother, you should care more about Az than any service he does for this court. If you want someone tortured, get off your ass and do it yourself instead.” You challenge and Rhys is rearing up to say something again before you hold a hand out. “Look what you’re doing to him if you don’t believe me.” Rhys grabs your hand and you show him Azriel after his latest mission, pouring every ounce of self-hatred you felt from Az into the memory. Rhysand yanks his hand away and finally sits back down when Azriel himself finally throws open the doors to the office. 

“I came as soon as you called,” He looks at Feyre who nods back at him. Rhys just stares at his brother, and Azriel’s eyes dart back to you as you give him a sheepish wave. You only feel remorse for the dark circles under his eyes, and for having his sleep interrupted. “What’s going on?” Rhys clears his throat, rubbing his hands together before speaking again. 

“It’s come to my attention that I’ve been neglecting your mental health, and for that, I’m so sorry.” Rhys nods at Azriel, silver rimming his violet eyes. “Take some time off, and we can reevaluate when you get back.” Azriel widens his eyes, a look of understanding passing between the both of them. You turn to leave when Rhys calls your name, “Thank you for telling me.” You nod and take your mate home so he can finally get some well-deserved rest.

[bbbuckaroo]

you are rights bobs are getting louder because they can feel the interest in their ship dwindling. But you know what?? They brought this on themselves.

I loved buddie and when Tommy came along I was one of the people who thought “yeah he’s cute. I do hope they date for a while” but I held onto the buddie endgame. But I try to “curate my space” like they always say whenever someone complains about how toxic the fandom has become and curating for me means try to avoid negativity. And I used to follow only buddie shippers but I told myself “I’m only gonna unfollow the one who badmouths bucktommy because I don’t wanna see that kind of energy”. And I ended up unfollowing 90% of them. So the reason I became uninterested in buddie is because I don’t see many posts about them and the reason I don’t see many posts about them is because most buddie shippers can’t love their ship without hating on bucktommy or Tommy or even Lou (fucking psychos). Sorry for the rant. I can’t believe how much those people behavior made me fall out of love with a couple i’ve been cheering on for 6 years.

sincerely, a former buddie shipper

Welcome to BuckTommy Nation, we’re all quite lovely and happy to have new residents! We spend our days basking in the sunshine these two boys bring ☀️ And I promise, we’re not anti-Buddie, we’re anti-bullshit. First of all I want to sincerely apologize that you weren’t able to enjoy your ship. In no finer terms, that sucks. Everyone should be able to ship any couple they’d like and enjoy doing it.

I honestly started with 9-1-1 LS, fell in love with Tarlos and heard there was another non-canon couple on 9-1-1 who could develop into that. Within the first few episodes of S2 I loved Buck and Eddie but not for the reasons many did or I expected. I loved how positive and healthy their friendship was as two “manly” men. There was no silly caveman antics or refusal to share feelings. From the beginning they could be two male friends without toxic masculinity and that was (and is) so needed.

I too scrolled through the Buddie posts that showed up on my dash following Buck (I’m a Buck baby) and thought hey, let the shippers have their fun. I’m not going to rag on them and that was back when it was just that, FUN! And as time went on it has become necessary to block all Buddie content because it’s so hard to weed out the positive posts, they’re drowned out by the radicalism and that is so sad. It should have never become that way.

Lou was a total surprise for me and regardless of if he and Buck stayed together, as a character with such growth and stability I adored him and then promptly fell in love with Lou. So the fact that both he and his character were literally attacked from that first kiss was appalling. You’re right, it injected so much negativity into the entire show by one small group and here we are trying to fix it. It’s practically years worth of nastiness. And the part that just blows my mind is that EDDIE was the driving factor in Buck and Tommy getting together and he and Buck’s conversation about coming out was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful and so many people could relate and felt so much hope seeing both someone come out at an “older” age and have his best friend wholeheartedly support him. I legit cried during that scene.

So even as a non-Buddie shipper who never had any issue with the ship EVER, I can understand and see how unfair it is for you and honestly, I am sorry. I wish there were some way for Buddie shippers to enjoy their ship or even be separated from the pack. Because Buddie has become a nasty word with such a negative connotation and you don’t/didn’t deserve that.

I hope y’all know that BuckTommy Nation IS a safe space for Buddie shippers who respect our ship as much as we do theirs because I believe we all want Buck, Eddie, and now Tommy happy and in healthy relationships, whomever they may be with. So please don’t feel like you can’t celebrate both and I promise that myself and other members will try our hardest to not immediately associate Buddie with the BoB’s.

Please feel free to rant as much as you need to, you have a reason too! And clearly I’m a huge advocate for positivity and ignoring the BoB’s so when they are talked about or responded to I immediately shut it down and block. Your rant isn’t negative towards Buck or Tommy or any of them and in no way is giving the BoB’s the attention they’re preying off of. Instead you’re giving an honest and raw testimony of one of the worst things that’s happened because of this insanity. And that’s fans being unable to enjoy themselves and do so with like-minded people. These shows are made to be enjoyed and now people feel like they can’t and you know who that hurts? The people who make and star in the show would we wouldn’t have any of this without!

So thank you so much for sharing your experience and giving us insight into how true Buddie fans are feeling. We need to hear that so we can continue to spread positivity regardless of which characters/actors it is. Because if nasty people are going to make their own fellow-shippers feel like they can’t, we can at least make it a positive place again for everyone. Buck and Tommy have brought so much of that to the show and shown people what a healthy relationship looks like when after years of failed and toxic relationships. Many people desperately need to see that who are in those, regardless of who makes up the couple.

Thank you for sharing all of this and sorry my response turned into a book! We’re so happy you’re here enjoying the ship and the positivity it brings, that’s all we want ❤️

[mastersoftheair]

So just to clear the air (and I guess my massive confusion) Harry never slept with Sandra, correct? I gotta say I need to read his memoir at this point as he is so intriguing to me, as well as masters of the air book, but like you said it’s a “blink and miss it” thing. I didn’t interpret it as anything more than having a few friendly conversations. It was more about emotional infidelity to me than physical, but given the circumstances and that exact heartbreaking point in time for Harry I can’t find it in me to blame either of them.

for me, ig i'm coming at my position from a place of bias. i'd read crosby's "a wing and a prayer" sometime in either 2021 or 2022 (those years blend together tbh), so i've had a lot of time to think about those 2 and their relationship and i lean towards "yeah, it likely happened" (this is a long response btw bc i'm quoting from the memoir):

crosby introduces his new friend, alexandra "landra" wingate (aka sandra westgate), in the chapter "learning about americans from the british" (this chapter was basically what we see in episode 6). moving on from this tho–

in the chapter "with landra in london", he expands on their growing relationship and the reader learns more about landra (she is genuinely Such an interesting person, and probably a spy). crosby writes about her with such admiration, regularly bringing up how smart she is. also, she's a captain!

this chapter's pretty important in how i formed my opinion on the matter. i understand the argument that the closeness of their relationship was intentionally left vague, but this chapter reads in a way that makes it feel Heavily implied despite not saying a lot (especially alongside crosby's emphasis on his wife jean being "four thousand miles away", as well as his own loneliness and despair wrt to all the missing and dead). there are some standout lines here:

-"I had Jean at home and Landra in England." (not a red flag, but it's a flag) -"I started seeing Landra every time I could." (cool) -"All I knew was that [Landra] was making my life much more endurable." (also cool) -"I did not tell Jean about Landra." (the last sentence of the chapter. it gave me pause and almost instantly reshaped the way i viewed that whole chapter)

the next chapter, "r&r with jean", crosby recalls how much the war took a toll on both him and his relationships. for a time, jean wrote more letters to croby than the other way around ("I began to skip writing to her."). i assume crosby must've been radiating Exceptionally negative energy bc he gets told this: "Croz, we can't stand to have you around. We want you back, but we want you to go home for a while." (i found the phrasing here really funny tbh. your vibes Suck! just Get Out of here!!)

so, crosby contemplates seeing jean again, wondering how both of them may have changed. he also brings up landra, for Some Reason: "What would I think of her? Protected in the States as she was, how would she compare to Landra? Now that I had grown so much, had such experiences, how would Jean and I fit together?"

the rest of the chapter Is about meeting and catching up with jean, however, and you can tell that he loves her a Ton. it's very sweetly written (he also basically ends the chapter saying "btw, we conceived our first child ;) ")

the final chapter about landra is "london junket" which begins with "When I returned from the United States and my idyll with Jean, I knew I had to do something about Landra." i think that sentence alone is pretty damning. if landra was just a friend, why would you be anxious about calling a friendship off? is it a guilt thing?

the context here is that crosby feels Far less lonely and depressed. he's met up with jean, life in london is finally "a delight". i found that important bc it gives me the impression that crosby desperately wanted companionship (possibly of two kinds), and he found that in landra– a friend and a maybe a [REDACTED]. now that he's having a great time with his friends in the 100th And he's met up with his wife, that itch's been scratched (that's just my opinion tho). bc of that, he decides to say goodbye to landra. they have this exchange:

"When a month passed after you were to return, and you did not phone me," she said, "I suspected that it was over. You found things good with Jean?" I told her about R&R in the U.S. I told her more about Jean. I told her about Stephen Patrick, Jeffrey Allen, or Evalyn. "When I realized you were gone," she said, "I no longer said no to a nice American at my office. I have been with him several times. I like him." (interesting) "I’m glad." (also interesting) "He is not married, He is not so dashing as you, but we have good times together." Me "dashing"? That was not my self-image. So much for Landra."

all put together (and with over 2 years to think about it), i Really kinda saw That Scene coming. but, like i said, i had that bias. and since i'd had a good amount of time to think about them, i came out the other end still excited to see them on screen. i found (and still find) landra a fascinating woman who must've had an exciting life (crosby's okay too ig lol). i also see them as a couple of imperfect, even selfish, 20somethings (speaking as an imperfect and selfish 20something). not to be corny, but "it takes 2 to tango". landra is Very intelligent, and crosby recounts how that aspect of hers left him in awe. she'd've 100% known the guy was married. and if signs point to her having had sex with the man, then she either made peace with it or simply didn't care (a lot of women are like that). plus, they're real people and real people contain multitudes idk. maybe some wife somewhere across the atlantic is hard to care about if you've never met her and never will. maybe it's hard to consider your wife's feelings in the midst of your own misery. a female character doesn't have to be wholesome and pure to be considered well-written. that certainly doesn't apply to most male characters. like you said, no one is perfect!

maybe, crosby left it vague out of respect to his wife. maybe it's vague bc nothing happened anyway (funny way to write it tho). maybe the wingate family wanted to avoid association with MotA bc it Literally didn't happen. or maybe they know it happened, but want to keep her name clean out of respect (who wants one brief relationship that happened 80 yrs ago to define you/your loved one decades later? that's 100% understandable). whichever the case, even crosby's kids are in a 50/50 split. i still lean towards "it happened", but it doesn't make me dislike either of them. they're flawed and i can respect that more than the show portraying either as picture perfect.

NONE of this is to say that i'm cool with cheating (or giving a "world war cheating pass", so to speak). while i find it realistic, it still wouldn't have been fair to jean, whether she knew about it or not (being a woman in the 1940s wasn't easy by any stretch). this Also isn't to dismiss anyone else's opinion on the matter, bc cheating on your partner is still a shitty thing to do. this whole spiel of mine is bc i like to share my opinions and i'm allergic to being concise. i write like i talk and on all levels except physical, anon, i'm giving you a long-winded rant over coffee and croissants lol

thanks for the ask!

[koogl001]

Is it ok if I can request Alastor headcanons about a female human s/o with angelic powers? Hope you have a happy new year!

One-Shots and Headcanons Masterlist

When Alastor visited the world of the living for his favourite hobby, hunting, he felt an out-of-this-world presence

A warm, inviting aura surrounded a tiny house on the outskirts of a small town

Your house, to be more precise

You were a human, that much was quite obvious, but then why did you emanate such light?

He found himself to be mesmerised, observing you through the windows as you took care of your chores, humming a gentle tune

You voice was irresistible, drawing him in like a moth is drawn towards a light

As you swept the floors, there was a strange feeling crawling up your back of someone’s eyes on you, but as you believed it to be safe in your small home, you paid it no mind

Ever since you were young, you had a certain power it seemed, to lure people in with your voice and almost hypnotise them, but as you were a very sweet soul, you never thought of using this power to your advantage, that would be manipulation

And oh, how you hated the concept of manipulation for its’ selfishness

There were other things too

You could have sworn you emitted a weak light when in the dark and could manipulate said light

And you had this almost protective aura around you? Or whatever it was, you couldn’t be sure, but it did help deflect negative and menacing energies

Your parents didn’t possess such powers themselves, so it wasn’t something hereditary

But then where did it come from?

The deer demon’s shadow made his way towards you cautiously as not to make you notice, reaching its arm towards your neck

But before it could grasp it, the mysterious aura melted its hand down to nothing, leaving it wailing in pain

When you head screeches behind you, you spun on your heel as if your life depended on it, because it might as well since you lived alone and stranger in your home = danger

You saw nothing however, were you hallucinating? Hearing things? Maybe you overworked yourself, or your mind was playing tricks on you?

Yeah, that was it

Leaving the light on in your bedroom for good measure, you succumbed to a deep sleep

To deflect his attack without even realising it with a power you yourself don’t seem to know how to control or know much about, now that was something interesting

And Alastor adored interesting, as it was a change from his life of sheer and absolute boredom

Hey, once you live (or are dead?) for as long as him, you’ve seen it all at some point, or so he thought at least

That protective shield around your body, it almost reminded him of an angel’s holy aura

So, how was he to approach and kidnap you without suffering the same fate as his own shadow, that was the question

Lucky him for obtaining some holy gadgets during the last Extermination

Those bad boys could be altered into nearly anything, cuffs included so if his hunch about you having some sort of holy power was correct, he would still be able to lock you up and use your power to become the ULTIMATE being

For the next few weeks, you felt the eyes on you nearly constantly, only disappearing when you went to sleep

You became so paranoid you refused to leave the “safety” of your residence and yet at the same time, you wanted to run far, far away till the eyes couldn’t keep up with you anymore

Alastor noted the unwillingness to socialize or, at least, leave your room and, as much as he hated to admit it, after observing you for so long he started developing feelings for you

 Your voice, your cute facial expressions, your quirkiness, your grace, your loving heart, he wanted it all

But he knew bringing you back to Hell would make you a prime victim for your abilities

The world of the living wasn’t much safer though, after all the sinners were all once human

So, what he needed to do was take you to Hell and lock you up without anyone knowing of your existence, easy enough

Now, he’ll just have to prepare his home for your permanent visit

When you woke up in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, your fight or flight instinct kicked in

And since there was nothing to fight, you attempted to flee

But the doors wouldn’t budge no matter how strongly you slammed into them, and the windows were barred up

You started hyperventilating as it seemed to your panicked mind that the room was shrinking

A gentle tap on your shoulder set alarms off in your head

You KNEW for a fact that you woke up alone in the room and you didn’t see anyone come in through the doors

“There is no need to be scared, dearie!”

A staticky voice said, as its owner kneeled down in front of you

“Alastor, pleasure finally meeting you sweetheart, quite a pleasure!”

He exclaimed, grasping your hand in a firm handshake, invading your personal space quite a bit

“Excuse the suddenness of this situation but I saw you in the living world and just couldn’t resist bringing you here!”

He kissed your hand in a gentlemanly manner, helping you up and hooking your arm around his as he led you towards what looked to be a very old-fashioned yet rather lavish looking living room

“Your exquisite singing was quite literally drawing me in, what the performance! Why I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929! So many orphans.”

He sat you down, examining your very being

“Now then, I have a deal for you, dearie! Care to hear me out?”

Somewhere deep down you know there was no running from this, whatever this might even be, so shaking hands with this devilish creature, you sealed your fate

Well, living was overrated anyways

[ariel26c]

Hii

I’m sorry if this is long or if it doesn’t mean anything but I’m kinda panicky? Restless I don’t really know how to explain

I cannot stop spiraling into negativeness

I had a celeb sp (not american or anything) for years like I started liking this guy when I was 16 and my whole world came crashing down when I turned 21 (I really thought I would end up with that guy and I feel so stupid) when I came across a tarot reading telling me he’s not the one and stuff like that, everything I read told me to let go and to move on and stuff like that and it was a very difficult moment for me, lasted multiple months and all that (I don’t feel anything for him anymore now)

And now I feel like it’s gonna end up the same with my new celeb sp (korean so they feel even more an attainable too you know what I mean I hope) like I saw a lot of content saying that if you are emotionally unavailable and all that then you only fall for people you can’t have and what if this is my case you know? What if it never happens with this guy too? After all I was so sure for the last one and it didn’t happen? Nothing moved?

I’m so sorry for bringing negativity here that’s really not my goal to make people feel down but I don’t know who to talk to about that you know?

Then when I asked a question related to that on a YouTube channel, someone commented laughing crying emojis and I just feel insane?

I see a lot of people getting noticed by their idols, but then I think maybe it’s their destiny you know like maybe it was meant to happen to them, for them to experience?

I really can’t see it happening to me

I feel like ever since that sp fail when I was 21 I’m so pessimistic about everything like I was deeply disappointed and hurt, heartbroken, I cannot be delulu anymore or hope about stuff that I can’t see you know?

Again I’m so sorry for all this negativity, it’s just a vomit of emotion I needed to let out and you don’t even have to answer!!

Maybe in the end I just feel super lonely and that’s why I obsess over people I can’t have

❤️

Hey babe, it’s okay to feel this way. I’m sure you’re aren’t the only feeling this way right now.

The first thing I want to tell you is that no tarot reading or psychic or person has the power decide what is or what isn’t meant for you.

It’s your life. Tarot in my opinion only taps into the current energy but it isn’t capable of predicting the future. Even if they had that ability you have the power to change the future. Don’t let a random person decide for you. Don’t take every tarot reading seriously.

You have seen signs that things are not meant to be with this person because you manifested that. Deep down your fear of thinking that it’s not meant to be manifested into your reality and you saw those signs as confirmation.

Failing is not an option in manifestation as long as you persist. If you give up that’s not a failure that’s the decision you made. You didn’t allow yourself to experience a relationship with that SP because you let people and signs decide for you what is and isn’t meant for you.

Why do you think you can’t have them?? Is it because of your past experience with the other SP? You can have anything babe. I promise you if you want something it must be meant for you. If you feel this deep feeling of desire for this SP then it’s meant for you.

If people get noticed by their idols it’s because they know that possibility exists. They don’t put them on pedestal to the point where they think that idols are superior to them. Idols are still human at the end of the day. It doesn’t matter who they are, how much money or power they have because they are human just like you and me.

You’re not insane for wanting something or someone. If that person laughed at you it’s because they feel like deep down it wouldn’t be possible for them. Don’t let people and what they think affect you. Some people are just miserable and don’t have anything better to do than judge others. The way that people treat others is also a reflection of how they treat themselves.

You can manifest anything and anyone. You decide what is apart of your destiny. You are in control because you have the power. It’s okay to be in negative state of mind right now, don’t force yourself to be positive. Allow yourself to feel the negativity and know things will get better.

Thank you for sharing 🫶 I hope you have a good day/night.

[icy-book]

Now, Coach Darnell just wanted a fun little hiking trip for the school. Give the kids some exercise, let the parents be involved. It's free, they get to be in nature, and it's a perfectly lovely laid-back afternoon. Unfortunately for him, the entire Close-Foster-Freeman-Swift-Stephen-Stampler-Marlowe-Swallows-Oak-Garcia-Wilson-Actually-Likely-dear-god-how-many-last-names-do-these-people-have family decided to chaperone.

 Henry: We should go to [fairly far away trail] it's a prefect one for the kids

Carol: How are we going to get there though? The school doesn't have enough minibuses

Darryl: Well, Odessey-san could probably fit about a class and some parents and teachers

Mercedes: And the journey is less than an hour so we can use our no-emission fuel source

Glenn: Guess that means I'm riding with you guys, huh

Darnell, who only knows the Odessey as Darryl's rundown car the kiddads got kidnapped in that one time: Hold on, are you seriously suggesting that we try and fit 30+ people into a 30-something year old minivan that runs on a weird fuel source that you never name and has to be changed every hour, that for some reason only Glenn use?

TJ, completely missing the multiple problems: ... she's bigger on the inside

TJ: She can fit a class

 Sparrow will not stop picking up squirrels. No one knows how he's even able to get that close to them or why they don't freak out when he picks them up (the answer is druid powers). There's a picture of him holding twenty and surrounded by more on the school's socials.

 Grant: This hike will be a great opportunity to spend time with Lincoln's new friends and see what they're like

*Sees Link with a terrifying goth girl who acts just like Terry Jr as a teen (including hating her new stepdad), a weeb who has the exact same vocal mannerisms as Glenn and cool guy energy as Nicky, and clearly Normal Oak*

Grant: You know what, never mind, maybe we should go back to homeschooling him

 (Grant: *he's just like me fr meme /negative*)

 Darnell: I don't want a repeat of soccer camp '22, Terry Jr

TJ: I did absolutely nothing wrong

Darnell: You stuck Lark on top of the flat mast saying, and I quote, "Naughty children go on the pole"

TJ: And it got him to stop setting fire to the goal posts, didn't it?

 Every single one of the s1 parents made homemade snacks. Every. Single. One.

 Henry, ranting about nature and rocks: and you know the chasm we're walking by is actually made by a waterfall slowly eroding its own overhang and slowly moving backwards along the valley

Darryl: Henry, we do this trail once a month and you mention this every single time. I did take high school geography. I know how oxbow lakes are formed

Glenn in the background: the chasm we're walking by is also where I fucked your mom WOO

Samantha: I'm pretty sure Autumn was more likely to make love here with Ronnie than you, Glenn

Glenn: Damn, Sam, still bringing out the decade-old burns

 At one point, Nicky hurts his ankle (plus his asthma is acting up) so Terry just starts giving him a piggy back unprompted.

Lark: Hey Teej, can you carry me as well for a bit

TJ: no <3

Nicky absolutely did not need to be carried the entire rest of the trail, but what was he supposed to do? Tell Terry to put him down? Obviously not an option

(Terry also could easily have carried Lark too, he was just being petty. He also knew he could have stopped carrying Nicky after like, 10 minutes, but hey, Nicky wasn’t complaining, and maybe he liked being able to be this close to him again, sue him)

 They go to a milkshake diner place after the hike (which has vegan options to appease the Swallows-Oak-Garcias). Glenn and Morgan get those couples straws and you know this meme?

They both do the thing in the bottom picture, but they share the glasses that they put the bottom end of the straws into so it still ends up looking like the top picture. Alternatively, they only share one glass, and the other straw is in an individual glass. Which of course means they get into a whole Freddie-esque tangent/rant about why the middle glass needs to be twice as big because it's being consumed at double the rate of the other two

Jodie is not jealous at all as he watches this. Nope. Nuh-uh.

Scam and Mark somehow snuck onto the trip. No one knows how. Terry spends the entire diner celebration shooting the paper coverings that come with straws at takeout places at Mark because he still hasn't forgiven her for upsetting Ron

Poor Darnell just has to keep dealing with this weird-ass blend of 4, maybe 5, different families that just keep on happening. Unfortunate downsides of being Carol’s best friend

[nn-ee-zz]

Hey there! No need to reply to this, but I just wanted to stop in and let you know I love your art. I've been silently admiring it for months now!

I wasn't going to say anything, because like you said, your tarot set is first and foremost something you're doing for your self. I love and respect the artists in my own life, and I know that outside pressure can take some of the joy out of a project.

But following that last anon you got, I just wanted to say that your designs, aside from being beautiful, are really creative in a way that can only come from the heart. You clearly care a lot about each piece, and it really shows.

And if at the end of your project you DO decide to make the deck into something people can buy, I'll happily get a set :)

Thank you for sharing your work with us all! It really brightens my day and I hope this message can bring you some of that same joy.

Hey! Glad you finally messaged after lurking for so long! That’s why I have anon asks on, so shy people like you can come and say hi!

I really appreciate you concearn but I assure you I suffer from no outside pressure in this project c: The amount of enthusiam that I’ve gotten for my designs is very encouraging. I keep repeating myself, but it does mean a lot that people are so excited to see more and react so cheerfully to each design.

The previous anon didn’t affect my drive. It’s a drop in the ocean of so many kinder words that I receive! I am thankful for everyone who spoke on my defense tho

I do care about them a lot! A big reason why the negative anon didn’t strike me was because my characters make me so happy. I get such a childish joy from my designs, like a kid in deviantart showing off their cool new OCs

There’s around 50somthing cards left to finish so a final deck will take a bit to get here. The fact this is a steadily ongoing project for more than a year now is already very promising, the chances of me dropping it when I’m so far into it are LOW. 

Thank you very much for your message and for everyone else who talked to me aswell. I will let the anon subject go to rest because my energy is better spent drawing the next card (5 of swords coming VERY soon, in a couple days)

Here’s a sneak peak 

[copiousloverofcopia]

HERE IT IS! The moment some of you have been waiting for...well maybe not really lol...

Since I completed The Red Dress as promised I have started on one of my promised other new works.....UNDER THE SPELL!

Please be nice I am SO not used to writing for Mary, so I hope its ok!

Mary Goore x OC Piper!

Piper and Mary have been best friends since they first met as children. When Mary and her boyfriend Sid asked her to come along on gigs, Piper thought it was a no-brainer. But as the excitement of the buzzing amps dies down, she realizes she wants more—now if only she can get him to agree.

Chapter 1: Fishnets and Regrets

Also available HERE on AO3!

Eventually will be NSFW below the cut 😈

She was trying her best to stay cool, staving off the tears that relentlessly pricked at her eyes. The sharp-winged cat eyeliner and heavily mascaraed lashes sent a trail of black down her cheeks. A battle lost, but only for a short moment until she could bring herself to carry on. Piper stared into the mirror of another random bar's bathroom, angry at herself for not realizing what she wanted to do with her life sooner. Despite her upset, the show must go on. Knowing that would need to stuff it down before heading out to face them again—her chosen family and partners in crime, Repugnant. 

She had spent the last 6 years of her life traveling with them and when the sounds of humming amps kicked on and the guitars screamed as they were being tuned—she needed to move her ass. Before heading back out, she adjusted her tattered fishnets, that had seen better days, and re-tied her scuffed up black combat boots. They were her favorite—a gift from Mary many years ago. Piper checked the mirror, once more, just to be sure that her mohawk hadn't fallen, before using her foot to kick open the door.  

Her mind was still heavy with anger and hurt. The fight she and Sid had was only a short time ago and it left her feeling heated, like she was roasting from the inside. Now she'd have to go and watch them perform—pissed off but having got her shit together enough to keep the peace. After all, there were still a bunch more gigs to go and the road home, for her, didn’t really exist. 

It was the first time in a long time Piper wished she was somewhere else. Traveling with the four guys and Tom's girl, Annie, had been a dream come true. She lived for the music, the lights of the stage, and the energy from the crowd as the guys performed. Having grown up with Mary and getting close with the rest of them, it was only natural that they all worked so well together. So, when Mary and Sid asked her to tag along while they toured the world, she thought she couldn’t ask for anything more—that was until last week. 

She was late—very late. Her period, which had normally come like clockwork, had decided to give both her and Sid the scare of a lifetime. Both of them in a full-blown panic as the reality of that drunken mishap set in. Sid was pissed, throwing shit around the hourly rate hotel room, spouting comments about her needing to get shit taken care of and him not wanting any damn kids. Piper wasn’t at all surprised at his psychotic meltdown, but what she was surprised about was her reaction to the negative test. In that moment everything changed, and she was, for lack of a better word, conflicted. 

When only one line appeared on the stick, Sid was ecstatic. Jumping up and down acting like a complete and utter fool. Thrilled out of his mind that he had dodged yet another bullet despite his recklessness. Piper was relieved too, in a way. Sid was not necessarily the "fatherly" type, but the idea of having a kid hadn't left her—even a week later. 

That's when the fight happened, and of course it just had to happen before the show. Sid couldn't let things go and give her the space she needed when she told him nothing was wrong. So, with his incessant pushing and Piper's built-up anger, the truth came spilling out like blood from a gushing wound. Not her finest moment to be sure, but she wondered if all of this was what needed to happen.

Things had been rocky for some time with Sid. He was a good man deep down, but definitely immature and Piper was pretty sure his photo was next to "man child" in the dictionary. She loved him, but she knew at this point it was over between them—Piper had figured out she wanted more than just a spot in the tour bus and glorified groupie status with the band. She told Sid she wanted to move on with her life and settle down. And with that revelation, blow up number 1,346 began. Leaving them officially split up and Piper in an awkward place—feeling empty. 

She took in a deep breath before continuing down the hall and stepping out onto the floor, the band playing when she had made her way to the pit. The guitars were drilling into the audience’s skulls and the drums banging hard, vibrating in her chest. The feeling of the music coursing through her, was truly something she'd never get enough of. Piper watched Sid playing his guitar, Tom on drums, Carlos on bass, and of course Mary absolutely slaughtering the vocals. The frustration, hanging itself within her soul, shredding with the sounds of the death metal they came to play. 

The smell of cigarette smoke was heavy in the air and the sticky floor pulled at the bottoms of her boots, but she didn't care. Piper head-banged her way through Draped in Cerecloth and tried to just let go. Her mohawk swinging around and the chains on her belt rattling as she jumped up and down, screaming into the universe and giving every last bit of energy she had to Mary and the guys. Thankfully it was gonna be a great night of music, but also a night she would never forget.

The show was a blast, the crowd losing it over the performance and tearing the place up as they rocked out to what their parents surely referred to as “deafening noise”. As their spot was over, Mary and the guys along with Piper and Annie took the opportunity to throw a few back before heading out for the night. All of them laughing and celebrating another show well done, Piper being a bit less enthusiastic as usual. Mary, taking note that she and Sid had been keeping their distance. 

The bar had now been closed for over an hour and while everyone else minus the stagehands had left to head back to the bus, Piper decided to hang out for some time alone. She sat by herself with a beer in hand and picked at yet another tear in her fishnets, when she saw Mary coming towards her. Fuck , she thought to herself knowing exactly where this was going.  

Mary Goore had been covered in blood since the beginning of the show. Preferring to start things out with a bang. Dripping with it as he raged in sonnets of death and the defiling of corpses. The metallic liquid, now managing to cover his shirt and matted a bit of his hair, but he didn't care. It was another glorious night for him and the guys, though he couldn’t let go of the feeling that things were off with Sid and Piper. 

He felt a connection to her like no other—the best of friends since the cradle. Their families were close from the beginning. When Mary's Dad took off and Piper's parents were killed, they were the ones to help each other hold it together. She had been a staple in his life. A constant he knew he could always count on. Things had been weird lately between her and Sid, that was for sure. And it didn’t take a genius to figure out things were at an all-time low. 

"Pipes? Why aren't you on the bus?" He asked as he slumped down beside her on the edge of the stage. Piper shrugged a bit, taking another swig of her beer to finish it off before speaking. 

"Just didn't feel like it quite yet. I figured I'd wait till everything got packed up and then head over."

"Bullshit." Mary said straight faced and serious toned. He was a bit intimidating after a show, all that blood over his face and the tiniest amount of grumble to his voice—after having pushed it so hard.

"Oh come on. Don't do that thing you do." Piper begged—her words futile. She knew he could sense it, there was definitely something she wasn’t telling him. Piper was surprised that Sid hadn't told him yet about their break up, since he had never known how to keep his mouth shut. 

"You know better sweetness than to lie to my face." He told her as he widened his gaze and tried to lean in closer. Piper pressed her lips together into a tight line and furrowed her brows before dropping her eyes to her lap. Damn Mary for always being right and always knowing when she was hiding something. 

“Sid and I well…we aren’t a thing anymore.” Piper said calmly before looking back over at Mary. His face was filled with disgust, imagining the multitude of things Sid could have done to destroy things with Piper, who had stuck by his ass for so long. 

“What did that rat bastard do now?” Mary growled knowing full well how asinine his friend could be. Piper put her hand on Mary’s shoulder to calm him. It was slick with blood and sweat and some face paint, but nothing she couldn’t handle. Mary grabbed for her hand and gave her a concerned look. 

“No Mare, it’s nothing like that. We just decided that we want different things—I want different things.” Piper explained. 

“Well what the fuck does that even mean?” Mary laughed, though a bit nervously.

“I think this may be the end of the road for me. After the next few gigs, I’m gonna have to figure something out. I got other things I wanna do with my life and being stuck on the bus isn’t it anymore.”

“Where is this coming from? I thought you loved being on tour with us?” Mary asked her, completely confused and honestly more shaken than if it had been only the Sid issue. He didn’t want Piper to leave. Half the time she was the only thing that kept him from going off the deep end. What’s got her ready to run if it ain't Sid , he asked himself. 

“I wanna settle down, take up root somewhere and well that's not gonna happen with Sid or while I’m on the road with you all.” Piper admitted. She and Mary had usually been upfront with each other. Each appreciating the other's candor, saving them from misunderstandings but tonight she was withholding something. And while Piper might have wanted to keep the intimate details of her heartache to herself, Mary would know she was lying before she could speak the words.

“What a pussy.” he snorted, angry with Sid for spurring this whole thing on, thinking to himself anyone would be lucky to be committed to Piper. “Honestly Pipes you are better off without him…but I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that I want you to stay. Don’t go.”  

“Uh…fuck…Mare that’s not the start.” Piper explained, swallowing back the knot forming in her throat. Now Mary was on red alert. All his senses, buzzing with something big about to come out of Piper’s mouth—and then she said it. 

“I wanna have a baby.” she told him, Mary turning even paler than his face paints. It was only when his stunned stare turned into a dissociated blink, that Piper knew he hadn’t gone catatonic, “Mare?”

“Ah…umm…” he began smearing the blood through his hair as he ran his hand over his head. Clearly still in shock from Piper’s confession, “...what happened to you starting that band? What were you going to call it? Crazy Chrysanthemums or something?” he asked, unable to think of anything else to say in his stupor.  

“It was Wild Violets…That doesn't matter. That was just a fleeting idea.” Piper explained, “You’re missing the point.”

“And this ISN’T a fleeting idea?” Mary continued. 

“No…I honestly hadn’t thought about this kinda thing at all, but we had a scare and well… I can’t stop thinking about it.” Then Mary stood up, beginning to pace the stage as he took in everything his best friend was saying. Her words, hitting him like daggers to the chest.  

“Piper…”

“Yes?” She asked as Mary walked over to her and held out his hand. Waiting for her to take it so he could lift her up onto the stage. Piper gave it to him, quickly getting up on her feet as Mary and her eyes met in what remained of the stage lights. 

“So not a joke…not a fleeting idea?” he asked, already knowing the answer. Pulling at the worn neckline of his Morbid t-shirt.  

“Not a joke I swear.” Piper replied, putting up her hands like some girl scout signaling her pledge to the troop. Mary got quiet again—his eyes dropping away from hers and down to the scratched up remnants of old band stickers and other crap that had adhered to the floor of the stage. “Mare?” she called to him, watching him get lost in thought. 

“Sorry I am still trying to wrap my head around you wanting Sid to be a dad.” Mary jabbed, trying to insert some humor into the situation, but he could tell it only made Piper more upset. 

“Oh come on Pipes you know this whole thing is a little fucked right? Hell, even I'd be a better Dad than..." Mary began when the idea struck Piper like a ton of bricks. One she instantly knew felt right, but oh boy was it going to be a bitch to convince Mary. He could see it—the look in her eye told him she was scheming and now his anxiety went through the roof. “…what are you thinkin’... 

“Mare…here me out. What if you—” Piper barely got out the first words before Mary began pacing around once more, his eyes blown wide and his jaw dragging across the floor. 

"Nope, nope don't like that." Mary said, shaking his head. “No way you’re even considering what I think you are considering.” 

“But Mare…you are my best friend. My other half, I can’t think of anyone else better. I don’t wanna waste my time with some deadbeat guys…not when I have you. Not when I know that you’re perfect.” Piper finished, a newfound energy surging through her. Wondering why she hadn’t thought of this before tonight. Mary was visibly in shock. His mind swirling with the implications of his best friend’s words. Wondering if he was finally losing his mind from all the stress of touring.  

“Perfect for what Pipes?” he asked her, straining against the words he knew were about to leave her lips. 

“I want it to be you. I want you and I…to have a baby.”

[soongtypehuman]

Update on Things

It’s been almost 4 months since the craniotomy that removed the tumor that was crushing my brain. The hope was that the surgery would cure the mild to moderate cognitive issues I was dealing with, or at least stop them from progressing. I’m sorry to say that wasn’t the case, and many of the problems have gotten dramatically worse.

I don’t want to go into too much detail, least of all because it’s boring. My short-term memory, ability to read and write, as well as speak fluidly, have all been affected negatively. I’ve just had another EEG to see if the seizures are continuing, and will have another MRI this week to assess the amount of damage to my brain from the tumor that had been affecting it for years and any damage caused by the surgery, and to check for a stroke. It’s a lot of fuckery I don’t have all the answers for yet. Once I have answers, then I can begin a more exacting treatment for the problem(s).

Unfortunately, as I said above, the problems are affecting my ability to write.

Planning and outlining have always been the backbone of my writing process, but even more so now. Everything is slower and requires a lot more concerted effort and lots of revision.

In short, I’m not able to create as quickly as I once could, although I’m hoping that will change eventually with enough rehab and figuring out new ways to work around my setbacks.

Ideally, I’d like to continue posting every Sunday, just as I have for over a year, but I might have to accept the idea that, as far as things go at the moment, I might not be able to use my writing time for both a weekly ficlet while also finding the time, energy, and focus to work on longer fics. For the time being at least, I might have to switch to posting every other week so I can allot more time and attention to the longer fics.

I just don’t know yet and can’t set anything in stone either way.

But I did want to say something about all of this because I was worried people might see me posting less frequently or posting work that isn’t as long as it used to be and think that I’ve gotten lazy or lost interest. That couldn’t be further from the truth. If anything, my love of this series is one of the few things in my life that brings me joy and that I can count on (my most beloved @monotremer being the main source of that), and one of my biggest motivators in rehab is trying to return to being focused and prolific where my writing is concerned. But I also have to accept that some things may never return to the way they were.

In any event, I hope to keep posting work regularly, but hope everyone understands if I’m not always able to do that.

Updates on what’s coming:

I was working on a longer fic to post to the Data/Lore collection today, but didn’t finish it, so there’s a shorter ficlet in the non-explicit Positronic Rivalry collection instead. The D/L fic should be ready to post next Sunday (fingers crossed). And while all that’s happening, I’m still working on the multi-chapter in the main series that got much bigger than I originally intended. It’s slow going, but it’s going, and my hope is that it’ll be ready to post in July.

[polyamorouspunk]

Happy Friday!!

I have so many projects going on man I'm going crazy lol. I think some of the projects need put on hold until I save up for a decent sewing machine though.

But I've got my garden going again, and my coworkers gave me a deadline to write a childrens book based on doodles, and Im working on my zine that for some reason I can only open in chrome(???), and I wanna do a little research with my punk 101 posts, and also I need to do research that Im not really in the mood for so I can make that music map.

Oh and also I'm going to see Radium Girls (a play) tomorrow with a friend, and I'm debating if I'm going back to my college sunday for my friends graduation, but I dont really want to cause its gonna be raining. And also also, Some (different) co-workers wanna play dnd with me, but I dont think I'd like playing with them just from knowing them for a few months but I dont know how to be like 'no', but also Im on a HUGE dnd kick (I got new converse I need to show off btw) but have no one to play with and that makes me sad, but I dont want to play with people who will make it not fun for me :(

But how are you? How was your week? Any fun plans??? (side note: do you like dnd, just out of curiousity?)

I ain’t making people scroll though this

My week has been… better. Better than last week. Monday I took a day trip to Virginia Beach by myself to kind of clear my head and my soul, purge some of that pain and negative energy. Last night when you sent this though it kind of just… came back… which is why I didn’t answer this then.

Tomorrow I’m going out with my family to some botanical garden that only opens like 4 times a year or something to the public. We’re bringing lunch with us so I guess we’ll be eating together somewhere, maybe at the gardens.

I’m counting down the days until I fly back to CT to go see Electric Callboy with my friends, and then hopefully go to the aquarium with my gf + friends. Other than that I don’t have any plans for that trip. I still have to tell my brother + my other friend when I’ll be up, I just feel like any spare moment I have I use to recover some psychological HP.

I’m going from working 30+ hours a week to only 3 days a week soon because we’re getting self checkout on Monday. Hopefully I can use that time to work on some things for @prideful-things-shop, mainly the snowglobe tumblers (don’t worry, you’re getting one of the Eeveelution ones).

I’m still waiting to hear back if we can go to that concert and trying to book my tattoo appointment for that Friday.

I LOVE Radium Girls, I read the book, it’s one of my favorite books. I know they turned it into a play and a movie, but I haven’t seen either of them. I actually grew up near one of the locations in the book. They put a mall right next to it, so that’s where I used to go to the mall. I’ve never been to the clock factory, but it’s a museum now. Maybe I can add that to the list of things to do when I go back home. It’s also right across the highway from one of those defunct Jesus theme parks. I’ve wanted to visit that too.

I’ve never played DnD, but my friends made a game that’s similar and I was part of the pilot test group for that, and apparently they’re still playing all these years later. It’s been almost a decade.

My mom wants to make raised beds but we haven’t gotten that far yet. She wants a saw, just hasn’t been able to spare the money for it yet. I’ve offered to get it for her but she declined. We were looking at them while I was looking for the drill I bought for the tumblers. She has a lot of potted plants though lining the porch, including some herbs, and I think she’s planning on some carrots and cherry tomatoes.

I’ve been studying the sub-genres of metal music for a while, basically so that I can ID a song/band by it’s genre and guide people towards recommendations based on what they already listen to (country, pop, rap, etc.). The idea of making a music map sounds really exciting, I would love to do some research for something like that (like I said, I’m already using spare time to do that on my own anyway).

I’m really hoping once I have more free time I can also go back to working on my patch pants. My grandma bought us a sewing machine from the thrift store she works at, and she taught my mom how to use it, and my mom has used it to make pillow cases for outside pillows, but she didn’t buy outdoor fabric and they faded quickly. This year I paid for some outdoor fabric we picked out together along with some more fabric for my patches, so I’m turning our front porch into a fruit-themed area, which my mom isn’t really thrilled about but I’m the one paying for everything, so…

The other day there was a big snake on the front porch and my mom had to kill it. It was a pretty rough experience for both of us. We have a cat that lives on our front porch which is who found it, and then our neighbor has a cat who lives on her front porch, and we’ve had snakes get in the house before, and now we have indoor cats, so it’s just a risk we can’t take. It made me reflect a lot about city vs country life and a lot of things tied to that (poverty, race, queerness, etc.).

Here’s to hoping we can both have a relaxing but productive summer, and I’ll see you soon xoxo

[fieldofblue]

Being in love changes you. It opens you up to a world where you need to face all parts of yourself. The parts you’ve been running from and the parts you didn’t know existed. If you truly allow yourself to love and be vulnerable, it opens up your heart and soul to a connection, to change. It feels raw and emotional and painful at times. But it can also feel exhilarating to finally be emotionally free and honest with another.

To embrace them is to embrace yourself and the parts of you that you may not be fond of. It brings about a softness within you and about you, where you look at them with admiration and fierce protection and loyalty. You yearn to know all the pieces of who they are and what makes them tick. You allow yourself to be seen in the same way, with the risk that they may not desire to know you this same way, but you open up despite this.

The reality is that two people may be in the same relationship and be in two different relationships. You may be learning, softening, opening up and growing and you may project that onto them. But that may not be their experience. They may be slowly dying and losing themselves and growing resentful. They may be counting the days till it’s over.

It can be heart breaking when this happens and you realize you aren’t on the same page and you may question if the love was ever real.

Every relationship and dynamic teaches us something different.

My biggest lessons have been to remain soft, remain strong in my own values, but always be open to something new, something different. Different communication style, different views. Different love languages, fight styles. I feel I’ve been tested countless times, and have not passed them all.

There’s also the challenge of giving yourself more love than you ever have before. Being kind to yourself throughout, as connection with another soul, another human will always be confronting and exhausting. You have to know when to love yourself more than the potential of what they may bring to the table.

I now understand myself more. I now know how important softness from a partner is to me. How the feeling of safety is at the top of my list. Protection and kindness. These are traits that are silent and strong. I’ve learned that vulnerability is a superpower and brings you closer to yourself and to your partner. Communication and words are a must for me, but actions speak the loudest. Physical touch provides a safe space and when someone allows you to take care of them this way, they are letting their walls down and connecting with you. You can’t bring someone’s walls down. You can be patient, provide safety so that they can start the journey. But you can’t do it for them and it doesn’t define who you are or your efforts. On the other hand, your energy is strong and radiates well outside of your body- people are constantly picking up on it. Some are more intuitive and sensitive to this than others, so try to remain honest and open if you want to build with them. They will pick up on all the negative energy and shift their actions accordingly to protect themselves. Most important of all, is the friendship that is formed with your partner. The comfort and laughter and bonding. At the end of it all, they will be your best friend, someone who will continue to change along with you. If you have a solid foundation, you can always fall back on your friendship.

My mom told me that 75% of her success she owes to my dad. They’ve been together for 37 years and have picked each other up, challenged each other and been each other’s comfort.

Are they kind during your lowest moments? Are they strong and stoic when you’re falling apart? Do they celebrate who you are daily? Do they remind you of your strengths and nurture your heart? Life will happen and it won’t be pretty. You’ll need someone who can stand by you through the roughest parts of it. It may not always come naturally, but you’ll know if their energy is in the right place. Are their intentions pure? Do they radiate love? Are they kind to their parents? Are they forgiving and understanding? Do they lift you up instead of putting you down? Regardless of their exterior and face they show the world, are they a gentle soul? Do they allow you to see this side of them? Are they emotionally mature and intelligent?

I’m grateful for the time to process the love, the heartbreak, the loss and learn from it in my own time.

There’s so much more to learn and each time I allow myself to be vulnerable and soft, I feel myself getting stronger. I always want to make sure that I am proud of my actions and reactions, knowing I am acting from love and not fear.

[kasagiggles]

Could we a crk tk fic lee dark choco and ler dark cacao maybe dark choco feels regret after coming back to the kingdom for hurting his father and cacao cheers him up I headcanon that when he was a kid there was this game that they used to play together where cacao would put dark choco on his lap stick his fingers under his sons arms and just hold him captive while he tickled his son on his lap I headcanon that dark chocos spots are his stomach neck sides and ribs

HIII THANK U FOR THE REQUEST!!

→﹒☓ lee dark choco cookie

→﹒☓ ler dark cacao cookie

warnings : tickles !!

nsfw blogs please dni (＞。☆)﹔

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

“i see..” dark cacao cookie muttered, “you were under the influence of that wretched sword.” he choked out the words, bewildered that this information was unknown to him for so long. his eyebrows furrowed, “i do love you, my son. but i fear it will take some time to fully mend our relationship.” he placed a cold, firm hand on dark choco cookie’s shoulder. the young man felt a lump in his throat that rendered him unable to speak. “go. get some rest.” his father said sternly, “i will see you tomorrow morning.”

dark choco cookie had a long night, for multiple reasons he was unable to relax. by now it was early morning, the sun peaked over the snowy mountains in his old bedroom window. his head throbbed as he sat up, taking in the nostalgic room around him. he missed being a child dearly.

his reminiscing was interrupted by the creak of his door, in the hall stood dark cacao cookie. his dark eyes met his son’s, dark choco cookie felt a chill up his spine.

“how did you sleep?” he asked gently, approaching the cookie in his bed. normally dark cacao cookie had this stern and determined facade, but his energy was simply calm today.

“i slept fine, thank you.” he replied, he couldn’t deny it, he was extremely anxious. he averted his gaze, gripping his blankets tightly. he felt the mattress sink beside him as his fathers presence made itself known.

“i know this is going to be difficult.” he started, “but this is a new beginning for you. it’s time to put down the past and focus on growing as a cookie.” dark choco cookie cherished his words, they felt like a warm embrace, a shield from the negativity that hindered his joy for so long.

“thank you, father.” he mumbled. they sat there in a peaceful silence, just like the old days. the sunlight was pouring into his room, highlighting his dark brown dough and covering him in a sheet of warmth.

after a long period of silence, dark cacao cookie finally spoke, “do you remember what i used to do when you were sad?” he said, a pang of sadness in his voice. dark choco cookie thought carefully, hoping to be able to answer the question. and it struck him.

“i do.” he said bluntly, but with a short chuckle afterwards. “why don’t we go back to those times for a moment?” dark choco cookie felt his body stiffen. it’s been years upon years since he has received any kind of love or affection, will this really be okay?

“sure.” he croaked, feeling his body tense up further. dark cacao cookie let out a joyful sigh, and proceeded to skitter his fingers along his son’s sides without warning.

dark choco cookie immediately retreated, letting out a confused grunt. dark cacao cookie stopped out of confusion.

“ah, i see. it’s been awhile hasnt it? just try to let loose and laugh freely, okay?” dark choco cookie felt tears forming in his eyes, did he really deserve this love and care after what he had done to his nation? a part of him wants to think that it wasn’t his fault, he had no control, alas, he just couldn’t bring himself to believe it.

over time, the feeling of love had become foreign in to dark choco cookie. but he didn’t want to disappoint his dad any longer. he nodded, preparing himself.

dark cacaos fingers raked featherlight along his sides. he could feel laughter bubbling in his chest, eventually he found he could hold it no longer. awkward, deep laughter became pouring out of his mouth as he couldn’t resist the urge to laugh his heart out.

dark choco squirmed on his bed, his laughter growing as he immersed himself in the playful experience, his fathers nimble fingers were teasing every nerve in his dough. it felt nice. he didn’t have to think, he didn’t have to hide himself. he could just be free and happy again.

after several minutes of gentle, reassuring tickles, dark cacao cookie found himself laughing with his son, cherishing the moment just like they did years ago. the journey of healing would be long and arduous, but dark choco cookie new now that his father would be there for him.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

hope u enjoy dear anon! :3

[warningsine]

The fourth chapter in the True Detective saga, subtitled Night Country, is good. Really good, in fact. As Navarro, Reis brings a bristling intensity, whether she’s pinning down a bad guy or reluctantly opening up about her mother’s unsolved murder. The 37-year-old more than holds her own among a heavyweight cast, led by Oscar winner Jodie Foster, after two forgettable seasons fronted by Colin Farrell and Mahershala Ali, respectively.

With Night Country, Reis and Foster have guided the show back to the brilliance of Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson’s searing first series, but in a very different way. Foster plays Liz Danvers, the cantankerous police chief of a small town on the fringes of the Alaskan wilderness. She and Navarro must work out how and why a group of polar scientists left their station and ended up naked and frozen to death in a jumble of bodies out on the ice. In McConaughey and Harrelson’s Louisiana-set series, women fell into three categories: sex workers, “nagging wives” or dead. Night Country flips these tropes on their head. “This series wouldn’t work with two female nurses,” Reis says. “You have two detectives in a male-dominated world who have a gender fluidity that you can see throughout the series. They have this very masculine energy they both have to carry in this profession.”

It didn’t take long before this role reversal drew the ire of misogynistic “bros” – to use series director Issa Lopez’s term. The showrunner recently spoke out against “bros and hardcore fanboys” who review-bombed Night Country on Rotten Tomatoes, posting negative ratings to sabotage the show’s score. “If they could just get their heads out of season one’s ass, that’d be great,” Reis asks of the critics. “Issa did not attempt to rewrite the first season; there are connections to the first season, there’s an homage to the first season, but it is not trying to duplicate it.”

In a recent interview with The Independent, Christopher Eccleston (who plays Danvers’ married lover and boss) praised the series’ stereotype-defying sex scenes. “In the first episode you see both female detectives coming to men for sex and then leaving. Both men are shown trying not to come because they want to please the women, who are absolutely in charge,” he said. In the scene Ecclestone describes, Navarro flips local musher Eddie Qavvik (Joel D Montgrand) on his back and rides him while grabbing his throat. “I got accused of my character being a raper!” Reis says incredulously. “I’m like: what century do you live in?”

Sex scenes are new territory for Reis, who marks just her third-ever acting role in Night Country. The newcomer made her screen debut in Catch the Fair One, Josef Kubota Wladyka’s 2021 revenge thriller about a boxer who voluntarily joins a sex trafficking ring to find her missing sister. It was an obvious route into the acting world for Reis, who had built a name for herself as a professional boxer with a formidable record of 19 wins – five by knockout. Put her name into YouTube and you’re more likely to find clips of her bludgeoning opponents in the ring than a BuzzFeed puppy interview. “Everything was so new,” she says of filming the more intimate scenes in True Detective, “I was like, ‘OK, you guys gotta explain everything, is there tongue in there?’”

There were some more familiar fight scenes, too, of course. In one, Navarro goes on a self-destructive rampage, picking a scrap with three barflies who give her a beatdown (after taking a few thumps themselves). Was it hard for Reis’s boxer ego to get handed her first knockout defeat? “Navarro wasn’t knocked out, she was just knocked down,” Reis is hasty to point out. “That was a little tough, though, but I took notes from the people I’ve knocked down in the ring.”

Today, appearing from her home in Philadelphia, the former world champ looks comfortable. Her hair is tied up in a ponytail and she’s wearing a baggy T-shirt with the slogan “Stay Trippy” on it. Her face is punctuated by silver jewellery in her ears, cheeks and septum, and her nails are pointed black claws. She’s conscious that, from the outside, both she and Navarro might appear intimidating. “Being a professional boxer, you can hand me a gun and I can stand there and look mean,” she says. “The hard part is being able to bring the audience in without saying a word.” Throughout the series, the detective’s icy exterior melts into moments of fragility. “There are a lot of ways I’m like Navarro and there are a lot of ways I’m not,” Reis says. “I believe for me, personally, that my strength has come from my vulnerability. As soon as Navarro allows herself to become vulnerable, that’s when she finds her true strength.”

In 2017, a year after Reis won the WBC female middleweight title, her brother died from brain cancer. “Boxing was our thing,” she explains. “After he passed away, I didn’t want nothing to do with it.” As a result, Reis started exploring other options. She’d always been creative, or as she puts it, “a little Virgo” – “I asked for a violin aged nine for Christmas.” She laughs. Her mum, who raised Reis and all five of her siblings by herself, was always “throwing” her into plays as a child, whether she liked it or not. Besides that, though, there really wasn’t much thought behind her new career choice. “I was like, ‘You know what? Acting seems kind of cool.’ I don’t know, it was on my radar. I was thinking I could land like a cameo in a commercial, be an extra? I just wanted to try it.” Just one week after Reis put out some feelers, Wladyka reached out to her on Instagram about Catch the Fair One. “And here we are,” she says.

Both that film and Night Country deal with the murders and disappearances of indigenous women, a cause that Reis is extremely passionate about. The actor is of mixed Cape Verdean and Wampanoag Native American ancestry, while Navarro is Iñupiat and Dominican. “I am not Native Alaskan, Iñupiat or Inuit, but there’s a collective group of morals that indigenous people share,” she says. “So it’s very important for me to be able to have this type of project done the right way. We had Alaskan native producers going through the script with a fine-tooth comb. I don’t want to make the age-old mistake of assuming I know about a culture.”

We’re speaking the day after Lily Gladstone made history by becoming the first Indigenous American woman to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Actress, thanks to her role in Martin Scorsese’s Killers of the Flower Moon. “When she won the Golden Globe [another historic first], I was sitting folding laundry,” Reis remembers. “I literally burst out screaming and crying. This is an amazing time for Native American Indigenous talent.”

It might only be her third-ever acting gig– she also had a small part in Jean-Stéphane Sauvaire’s yet-to-be-released paramedic thriller, Asphalt City – but Reis carries Navarro with the assuredness of someone who knows they’re in a role they were born to play. “It’s funny, looking back at it now: I’ve been training to be an actor my entire boxing career,” she muses. “The constant ups and downs; repetition, repetition, repetition; being able to take criticism; thinking on your feet.” She compares directors to coaches, and likens working with two-time Academy Award winner Foster to training in a “gym full of champs”. “I’m not walking into a gym to be the big dog; I want to be the worst one in the room so I can get better,” she says.

The Silence of the Lambs star sounds like the perfect sparring partner for an up-and-coming talent. “She doesn’t take anything too seriously – if she screws up, she screws up,” Reis says. “And she’s so generous with her knowledge, her time, her ideas. She’s an amazing person.”

The cast also had an incredible set to work with, I tell her, addressing the elephant in the room, or rather: the “corpsicle” in the ice rink. In episode two, the frozen bodies of the scientists are transported to the local hockey rink to thaw in a mangled mess of limbs and frostbitten private parts. It performs a surprisingly central role in the series, with characters returning to it again and again like a demented version of the Central Perk café in Friends. “It was so amazingly made,” Reis says; “everything was so detailed, every hair, every testicle – the frostbite on the feet.” It didn’t take long to become desensitised. “By day two I was drinking coffee next to it, giving the dead dudes a fist bump.”

Without giving too much away, thawing the corpsicle promises to unlock the key to cracking the case. “It’s gonna shock everyone,” Reis teases of the forthcoming series finale, and the big reveal of who has been behind the murders. “I really think it’s gonna throw people off – in a good way.”

Reis now has “Prestige HBO Drama Star” to add to her list of titles. Will it be enough to tempt her out of the ring for good? “My career and women’s boxing as a whole has been on a really great trajectory,” she says with a smile. “I haven’t hung up the gloves just yet.”

[kiragecko]

Hey I wanted to thank you for being so positive. A lot of people in the DC fandoms are really negative. There’s a lot of hate for any new comic and many writers and characters. I really appreciate your positivity and how you treat the new as an old fan. For me as a newer fan who’s who reading starts from the 80s and 2021 it means a lot and is so nice to see.

Thank you so much!

I’ve struggled with depression. Focusing on the negative doesn’t help anyone. Recognizing that there IS negative is important to me, but focusing on it just blinds me to everything else that’s there.

I stopped reading comics when they stopped giving me joy. But the fandom has never stopped giving me joy. And there’s always someone around who can show me the good bits of the things I’m no longer reading.

Comics fandom was thought to be really toxic when I first got started in the early 2000s. I chose the comic shop I went to based on which one didn’t look at me like I was a freak for coming in looking female. Which was shop number 3. Fans were still jaded by the 90s. (A lot of stuff happened in the 90s based around buying comics as investments, rather than to actually enjoy. And artists being in charge of stories despite having no plotting abilities.) Many had stopped reading and were really bitter about it.

It’s been important to me that I don’t follow the same path. Comics gave me a lot, and I don’t want to lose that, or get in the way of other people’s joy.

The wonderful side effect is that newer fans are willing to share their joy with me! That’s amazing! It’s been a decade since I read a new bat-comic, but I’m still getting excited about things that other fans are telling me about! Rather than losing something I love, I’ve gotten to keep it alive and growing. It’s growing a lot slower than it was, these days. But it’s still growing.

So thank YOU, Bunny. Thank you for being part of the new fans who are bringing your passion and energy into this fandom. Thank you for sharing it with me; through questions, comments, and ideas. 5 years ago, I felt so alone, here. You’ve brought life back, and I appreciate it so much.