#and I feel weird saying it too because I have the oddest feeling that I'm going to be dismissed as stubborn and blindsided

[merkerlerspeaks]

*exhibits symptoms of disorders you have been diagnosed with and just so happen to also be depression symptoms, but isnt actually depressed*

People: Hmm I diagnose you with depression

[teyamsatan]

ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ ɪx - ᴀᴄᴄɪᴅᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ꜱᴛɪᴍᴜʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

pairing: neteyam x omatikaya!reader

➽ a/n: this turned out a lot fluffier than intended, but i think i'm smutted-out and i'm one prompt away from starting to make these angsty hahahahahah. anyway, i hope you enjoy xx love u besties, smooches 🤍

➽ words: >700 words

➽ warnings: it goes without saying, but all of these works (kinktober-related) are smut and therefore minors should NOT interact with them.

➽ taglist (x) ➽ kinktober masterlist (x)

The loud booming melodies of the Omaticaya flutes and drums were etching like a beautiful pattern into the air surrounding you, filling you with happiness and euphoric bliss as you swayed gracefully on Neteyam’s lap. You loved nights like these, full of music and celebration, full of conversation and laughter, full with all of the things you felt you lost when the Sky People returned. You felt lightheaded, like you were mindlessly floating through the clouds above, and you now believed your mother about all the times she’s warned you about excessive consumption of the heady concoction she called “liquid courage”. The name was apt, too apt, making you do things you normally wouldn’t have even considered, like getting close and personal with the man you’ve desired and dreamt about for as long as you were old enough to…well, notice people in that way. Neteyam was beautiful and strong, courageous and empathetic, smart and sensible. He was a family man, the best new generation warrior in the village, known among numerous Pandoran clans for all the qualities that he possessed, qualities that seemed never-ending and made him, on one hand, too good to be true, and on the other, incredibly intimidating to talk to. 

But not tonight. Tonight, you talked and the alcohol made you calm enough to be able to look into his eyes, it made you brave enough to respond to his quick-witted conversational remarks, it made you open enough to let your natural charm and comicality shine through, which you were grateful for. All of a sudden, he wasn’t NETEYAM anymore, big, scary, capital-lettered Neteyam, he was just… Neteyam, the boy you’ve known all your life, that’s watched you grow up, that gave you your first handmade arrow and taught you how to shoot it. It got so cozy, so quickly, that you somehow found yourself nestled in his lap, humming peacefully alongside the singers providing the entertainment for the evening. 

There was a downside to the fermented juice that made your head all funny, though, and you were feeling it now, intense and overwhelming and impossible to ignore - there was heat in your womb, fiery and intoxicating, manifesting itself in the oddest of ways, in ways that made something that started off innocent and ended up in this, thoughts that told you that the way he was bouncing his leg to the beat of the drum felt good, too good, so good you needed to ride this feeling, see it through, allow it to wash over you and through you. You were happy the atmosphere was so electric and so loud, drowning the inadvertent moan you let out when his muscular, taut, azure thigh hit a particular spot that made you throb in ache, the emptiness in you begging to be filled, calling for him like a siren to a lost sailor. 

Beads of sweat, facilitated by a racing heartbeat and rushed inhales were gathering on your forehead as he continued the rhythmic, saccadic movement, almost as if he could tell what it did to you, as if he wanted you to feel this way, for him, because of him. You wondered fleetingly if it looked weird to any oblivious onlooker, if the way you started swaying your hips on his thighs to get some of the relief you desperately craved was normal in these circumstances - either way, people were too busy with their own celebration to focus too heavily on yours, and the best thing about alcohol, as it turns out, you couldn’t find it in you to care. 

Your mind cleared momentarily with the breath hitched in your throat as his mouth found your ear, the smirk in his tone obvious even to your turned back, his voice velvet smooth and enticing, whispered and taunting. 

“You’re dripping all over my thigh, paskalin. Let go for me, let me show you how good I can make you feel.”

Your mother warned you about excessive consumption of the stuff she called “liquid courage”. She, however, was remised in warning you about something much more dangerous, much more additive - a beautiful overachieving blue boy with a dirty mouth and a desire to please, who’s had a crush on you since the moment he carved that arrow for you when you were young.

taglist: @pandoraslxna @sulieykte @blue-slxt @eywaeveng @neteyamsikran @elenamoncada-ibarra @spicymayyo @itsjazzsworld @daddysmurfslefttoenail @eyrina-avatar @iameatingmyhair @hadesbabygurl@linydoll @the-mourning-moon

[deandoesthingstome]

Heart Wide Open

Pairing: Syverson x Fem!reader

Word Count: 1.5K

Warnings: just some talk about sexual situations, a little pining

A/N: There is a lot going on that isn’t Syverson these days, but this just came to me in a haze and I wanted to write it down and send it off to the world. Much like this letter you decided you needed to write to the guy you spent a few weeks with before he shipped out. It was no big deal, right?

Dear Sy,

I hope it’s okay that I'm writing. You said I could if I wanted to. It was weird addressing the envelope (yes, I addressed the envelope before I started this letter; I was nervous. Sue me.) Writing your full name, I mean. You said I could just call you Sy, but I’m doubting the US Army knows how to find you by just Sy. 

Or maybe they do.

Anyway. I was thinking about you the other day, in the oddest place. I mean, it’s not an odd place for me. Just a strange place to be thinking about you. I was at the yoga studio for an evening class. It was one of those “hippy dippy” classes you liked to tease me about. Not the power flow classes that you almost respected, but the slow, stretchy, touchy-feely one with the real quiet voices and everything on the ground.

Anyway. I started thinking about the way your fingers and lips danced over my skin when you had me naked on my back. The way you held the swell of my tits in your hands. The way it felt when you kissed my lips and then my neck, down my chest and onto my belly. The way you didn’t hesitate at all between my legs. I remembered the way it felt every time you sank your hips against mine and pressed into me, rocking with some kind of magic that let you hold on while I let go, over and over again.

I wonder how long this letter is going to take to get to you and where you’ll be when it arrives. Will you be able to read it in privacy? God I hope so. Maybe I should rip this up and start again.

Except I can’t, because I wanted to tell you how I think about what it’ll be like for you when you get this letter. If maybe you’ll be able to stay quiet in your bunk. Or maybe you have a private room somehow. Because I hope that when you read about the way I think about you, you’ll think about me, too. And maybe, while you’re reading this, you’ll need to unbutton your pants while you think about the way I used to take you between my lips. And maybe you’ll try to imagine it’s my hand wrapped around you.

God I hope you weren’t kidding about all those times you shifted me up and over your chest so I could settle right down on your tongue and let you make me scream again while I held onto the headboard. You said you liked doing that and I definitely like having it done, so maybe that’s something you’ll think about. 

God, Sy, I fucking miss you so much. Maybe I’m not supposed to say that this soon. But I do. I know I’m probably not supposed to say a lot of these things in this letter. (Fuck, does the military read your letters like you were in prison? God I hope not!) 

But I just can’t stop myself from telling you how I feel. I held back when you left. I didn’t want to make you nervous. Like you owed me anything. But I really like you, Sy. I never thought I’d say that about someone like you. But you made it so easy to look past our differences and find the things we had in common, even if just for that short amount of time. 

I know it was just a little companionship before you left. I mean, that’s all we said it would be. But I think about you all the fucking time, and I miss you.

I know I’m supposed to keep it light. Talk about the day to day so you can keep a little of home in your head.  Okay, but when I think about telling you about the new restaurant they opened up downtown, all I can imagine is taking you there when you get home. (Yes, fine, I know. Letting you take me there when you get home. Whatever.) I think you’d like it, Sy. It’s pretty all-american food but in a nicer-than-a-bar atmosphere. And I know, there’s nothing wrong with a bar. It is, afterall, where we met. 

But I wondered if the end of the night would turn out the same if you took me home from this restaurant instead of from the bar. If you’d still want to tear my clothes off as soon as we stepped over the threshold and locked the door. If I’d have to remind you to keep it down for the neighbors before I just gave up and joined you, funny looks in the parking lot be damned.

If we’d even make it to the bedroom, or if you’d take me bent over on the couch first, the way you did that first night. I really fucking liked that. Did I tell you that? I’m sure I did, but just in case. Sy. You can fuck me bent over the couch any time you want. 

Shit, there I go again. I should really rip this up and start over. Except you said I could say anything I wanted if I decided to write. Come to think of it, why did you ask me to write? We said we were keeping it light, and I didn’t want to scare you off, but something about the way you asked me to write…Should I have said something sooner? Before you got on that bus?

Fuck. Okay. So I’m supposed to tell you about the everyday. But my everyday was always so much different than your everyday, remember? It was a fluke I was at that bar that night. An out of town friend who had a thing for military guys. We were just out catching up. I figured we’d have a few drinks, she’d find someone to shack up with, and I’d send her on her way with his details on a piece of paper in case she didn’t make it home the next day. 

God I was so uncomfortable there. I couldn’t believe she’d talked me into it. And I was about to turn around and walk out when you walked in. Remember? How could you forget? I crashed right into you. And you apologized even though it was so clearly my fault, and you bought me and my friend a round and sat with us while you waited for your buddies.

I swear, Sy. I had no idea she’d take both of them home that night, leaving you all alone with little old me. But you didn’t care. We closed that bar down. I never do that.  And after you came home with me that night, after you took me on that couch, and then the bed, and later in the shower before you left? You called me. 

God I’m really stupid, aren’t I? Telling you all this like you weren’t there. But in writing this all down, I’m seeing so many signs I must have just willfully ignored. You made time for me, over and over again even though you were getting ready to ship out. Was I that reserved, maybe even a little standoff-ish, that you worried if you came on too strong, I’d run? Is that why you said, “just a bit of fun, okay?” To make it easier for me? 

Hey, when you come back, we should go to dinner. Maybe a movie. I know a great place to go hiking. Sy, I want to spend more time with you. I guess that’s what this letter is all about. And I know I started off talking about how well you fucked me, and I mean that for sure. But I want you to know I really liked our times together even when we weren’t fucking. I liked talking with you about the things we agree and disagree on. I liked seeing you laugh. I loved it when you made me laugh. 

Shit. I think I really fucked this up, Sy. I know I was supposed to keep it light. But I just can’t. I want you to know, so there’s no misunderstanding. I’m waiting for you to come back. I’ll keep an eye on the mail, too. If you write back and tell me I read it all wrong, I mean, it’ll suck, but I’ll respect that. 

But I couldn’t let you go on over there thinking there wasn’t anyone back home thinking about you and wishing you well every night. That yoga class the other day? Her theme was heart openers. Every pose, designed to drop the collarbones away from the chest and open up the space. I guess that’s how I got to thinking about you. During the meditation, she invited us to send love first to ourselves, then to someone we care about, and finally even to someone we don’t particularly care about. 

Taglist: @sillyrabbit81​ @kittenofdoomage​ @raccoon-eyed-rebel​ @mayloma​ @geralts-yenn​ @fvckinghenrycavill​ @kebabgirl67​ @beck07990​ @itsrubberbisquit​ @sweetdreamsofgelato​ @liveoncoffeeandflowersss​ @alexakeyloveloki​ @marantha​ @aireraume​ @angelmather1​ @lizzystuffsthings​ @enchantedbytomandhenry​ @omgkatinka​ @littlefreya​ @avengersfan25​ @thesaucynomad​ @just-chirpin​

But when it was someone I care about, I sent my love to you, Sy. I’m sending it to you now. I’ve got my heart wide open for you. I hope you want it.

Part 2

[inqorporeal]

There was something odd about the bookshop. Well, specifically its owner, but the shop was weird, too.

"I dunno, I just get the oddest feeling every time I go in," Mona said through a mouthful of croissant. "Like it's just a piece of set dressing. Like on stage, you know?"

"The books are there to be seen and occasionally looked through, but not actually claimed," Stuart agreed.

Nicola folded her arms on the slightly sticky coffee-shop table. "You know what I think--"

"Not your MI-6 theory, again," Mona groaned.

"Look, all I'm saying is that the owner knows a disturbing amount about history and especially contemporary warfare and politics. He totally helped me with that one paper I had to do last year, and I swear he didn't look anything up, but somehow just pulled books off the shelf that had exactly what I needed. And--"

"Aw, here we go," Stu muttered, amd poured another cup of tea for himself feom the shared pot.

"Shut it," Nicola growled. "He somehow had a newspaper from the start of World War I, in absolutely pristine condition, that had an article about the death of--"

"He's a history nerd, so what?" Stu said. "He inherited the place from his Da, who was also a complete nerd. My Ma swears they're the spitting image of each other, it's a whole schtick they have goong on. Welcome to London, we have weirdos, if you look to your left you can see a skyscraper that looks like a cock and we call it the Gherkin."

"I'm telling you, he's like some sort of secret agent," Nicola insisted. "There's that one skinny guy all in black who's always around, never takes off his shades even indoors. And remember last month, Old George swore up and down the shop burnt to the ground and then reappeared as good as new?"

"Old George is ancient and forgets you're not his little sister's best friend from church," Mona said. She drained off her ridiculous coffee drink and wiped foam from her upper lip. "The building probably burnt down when he was a kid and he's getting confused because back then they tried to rebuild things as they used to be rather than ploughing them up."

"Besides, even the best secret agency can't just rebuild an entire building stone by stone overnight. He's definitely suffering something." Stu held up a hand in the face of Nicola's poisonous glare. "Okay, okay, Old George's faulty memory aside, what makes you think the proprietor works for bleedin' MI-6?"

"I was in not too long before that, working on that nightmare essay, remember?" She waited until the other two nodded, although Mona now had her mobile out and was rexting someone. "These two creepy guys in absolutely pristine suits came in and loudly asked after pornography. Just like that, really kind of stilted, and loud. You know the place as well as I do, there's no porn there."

"I dunno, some of the classics are pretty spicy," Stu joked.

"That's different. He doesn't exactly stock Playboys you know? And the owner got real uncomfortable-looking, like he didn't want to be anywhere near them, and then took them into the back room."

Mona's head came up. "No ody goes in the back room except--"

"And the skinny bloke, aye. And when they came out, they were thanking him for 'the pornography'." Nicola pulled out the scare quotes this time. "Nobody ever buys anything from A.Z. Fell's. It's a fucking library without the legal permits. I think they were foreign agents--"

"You can't expect us to believe that Mr Fell is a secret agent," Stu insisted.

Nicola rolled her eyes. "No, I think he's the middle-man between the creepers and that skinny bloke. They can't be seen near someone like that, right? So Tall and Skinny--"

"Is way too obvious to be a spy," Mona said, shaking her head.

"But that's the brilliance of it! If he's an obvious eccentric, nobody thinks he's a spook!"

Nicola was on a roll now, and Mona and Stu exchanged a look.

"He's like a foreign agent, yeah? And 'pornography'--" scare quotes again-- "is just one of those code phrases they use, right?"

Someone stopped by their table, casting a long shadow against the light streaming through the dusty front window. "if you ask me," the stranger said, "it sounds like you watch too many spy films." He smiled thinly and the lenses of his round dark glasses seemed to flash for a moment.

"Right?" Mona said. "How many times did you see the last Bond film?"

"That has nothing to do with it--"

"What's more likely," the stranger continued, sipping at a monstrosity of a drink that could only tangentially be called 'coffee', "is that the gentlemen in question were local mob shaking our poor bookseller down. You should avoid them."

"See?" Stu agreed. "That makes a lot more sense. A Z. fell has a reputation to maintain. They were definitely threatening him."

Nicola grumped for a moment, slouching in her chair. "Alright, you have a point. He didn't act like they were friends."

"Exactly." The stranger smiled and left his empty, sugar-smeared mug in the middle of their table and left.

Mona opened her mouth to protest when someone else huffed a little sigh. Mr Fell himself picked up the mug, muttering, "Honestly, darling," under his breath, and returned it to the dish drop.

Nicola stared at her plate. "Wait. Who ordered danishes? Do they even sell danishes here?"

[narrators-journal]

Hello! I love your stories very much! This request is for Dr.Stone- could you do a childhood crush thing? Like Stanley Snyder/reader but he has a crush on reader while growing up? Thanks so much!

Ngl, put this ask off for a good while bc I had no good ideas with it. But! I finally got around to it with what i feel is a pretty good base. Something simple and short while I pour my heart into my bigger fic project! Thank you for the patience.

Crushes could be such a hassle. Especially for Stanley Snyder, because his biggest childhood crushes were Xeno Wingfield, and you. And, while Xeno was a can of worms all his own, you were the crush currently standing beside the marine.

Now, childhood crushes were nowhere near new to the marine, he'd had the hots for Xeno since the age of seven and still held a flame for the oddball scientist. Yet, even with Wingfield's taste for world domination, you were still the oddest crush Stan had. Simply someone he'd met at the age of twelve, one of Xeno's school pals. No one of 'real importance' according to the young mad scientist. Yet, you'd grabbed Stan's attention and held it hostage off and on since that day.

Nothing too bad, he didn't seek you out, prioritize your whims, or lose all of his composure whenever you stumbled across the pair after school, but when you did pop up through the years, he did find himself trying to show off a little. Always having the small urge to impress you like he did Xeno.

So, now that he stood beside you. In a Walmart, between bread and chips with you, in a plain grey t-shirt adorned with the bold declaration of MARINES on his chest and sweats, he couldn't quite help but hope you recognized him. "Oh my god, Stanley?" Bingo. "Oh, hey there." He hummed nonchalantly, giving you a partial wave as if he hadn't been sending psychic signals at you in hopes of getting to subtly brag. "You still living around here or something?" you nodded, "Yeah! I see you're in the military now, holy shit dude." You said, gesturing to his shirt, earning a small puff of pride in the 25-year-old. "I guess that explains why you vanished after highschool, I just kinda figured you went off to college like Xeno did." "Nah, Xee's the one who got the scholarships and money, I think the colleges would've sooner paid me to not go." He joked, enjoying the light laugh it earned. "Oh come on, you weren't that bad, I'm sure you could've made it." You assured, the marine just nodding along with your statement. Unsure of if his voice might crack under all of the dug up feelings from his teen years.

So, he instead just listened as you caught him up on your life. All of your work achievements, schooling, or family until you finally sighed, "alright, I guess I shouldn't talk your ear off. It was great seeing you again, though! It's awesome to hear you got into the marines, would it be weird to say I'm proud of you for it?" but he shrugged it off, "I don't think so, appreciate it." He assured, making you throw him a brilliant smile that hit that childhood crush like a heat seeking missile. "Great! I'm proud of you, Stan. I hope you stick around, though, I'd love to meet up again!"

With that, you headed off to go back to your groceries. Leaving Stan with such a short, simple interaction, but such a long lasting, complicated storm of emotions.

I really need to get better at resolving crushes.

[kaisazen]

you call it love, i call it insomnia

SYPNOSIS. In which a specific harbinger keeps coming into your diner at the oddest times because of his weird job, to your surprise, things don't go very well when a tired snezhnayan man shamelessly flirts with someone he's barely met before.

THEME.

AU: Canon Universe (Genshin)

Character Ship: Tartaglia x Gn!Reader

Prompt: "you come into my 24hour diner at the oddest times bc of your weird job but you keep forgetting that we talk because you're always sleep deprived"

Content: Flirting!!!, mentions of sex/intercourse, two flirty insomniac idiots being questionable.

"Well look who the cat dragged in", you murmured as a tired looking man entered the store with his head hung low.

He does a double take to make sure his eyes were seeing things right, and they were. It was you, working on the same time he came. He released a relieved sigh, and made his way to the counter.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, no milk, and no sugar." He looks back at you with a dazed expression that didn't make his tiredness obvious.

"Would that be all?"

"Actually, I want to add an extra. I wanna get the charming and cute worker here that's working hard to serve me during these ungodly hours." The man said as he rested his arm on the counter, his face staring awfully close to yours.

You roll your eyes as you move his resting arm away from the counter that reflected the fluorescent lights. Of course, you weren't a stranger to weirdos like him. There were a lot of people ranging from hobos to potential criminals that you'd encounter during your midnight shifts.

"I see you're not the type to converse"

"I pay no heed to weirdos like you that go into my diner at ungodly hours. And oh my archons, you even think that's attractive." You lay his coffee cup infront of him with utter caution though you'd rather spill the hot substance onto his face at any given moment.

"I just wanted to find a way to talk to you"

"Well that's awfully direct. I go by the name of (Name)".

The man smirks and helds out a hand for you. "You can call me Tartaglia, though most people call me Childe. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, fellow insomniac."

And after that first night of name exchange, Childe kept coming for the next consecutive nights. You found it awfully strange of how you have never seen him in Liyue before. But you get to see the flirty outlander whenever night hits and people no longer open those doors except for him. You just wonder what his job in Liyue might be.

"Hey (Name), aren't you at least curious for what my occupation in Liyue might be?"

You put down the glass that you were wiping dry, only to be met by drunken eyes that were starting to shape like hearts if you squint enough.

"No, as a matter of fact. I don't think I need to stick my nose that far out of people's lives."

You can see from the corner of your eye at the slight twitch of his lip, insisting on showing his smirk.

"How would you feel if I told you that I'm feared by nations and recognized as part of the most powerful organizations in Teyvat?"

"And how would you feel if I told you that you're looking like I could totally fuck you right now?" You murmur jokingly but you made it audible enough for him to hear.

Perhaps you did mean it. Was it the smell of chemical alcohol getting to your head? Or was it the number of times this man had been visiting the place, always wondering how his sultry voice finds its way into your own heart?

"Oh, so you're saying you wanna fuck with one of the Fatui Harbingers?"

"Even better. So stop coming to my diner when you can go to my place instead."

You cut of his lustful trance with a smack of a card right between his dazed eyes. The card had your home address and with your contact number.

"What was that for?!"

"That's what you call seduction. Not bad for a mere diner owner that now knows how to woo a Harbinger, no?".

After that night, you didn't know whether Childe was only bluffing about him being part of the Harbingers or if he was actually dead-ass serious.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hi! I was wondering if you had any thoughts on what Tom Riddle’s animagus form would be, if he bothered to learn the transformation. I think it’s weird that according to canon he never did? I can’t imagine he’d see or learn about this difficult form of advanced magic, with a million different uses depending on the animal and go, ‘nah I’m good.’ And then just never try??? Especially with somewhere private like the chamber of secrets to practice?

I can't believe I haven't answered this.

This feels like an ask I surely must have gotten before and yet it appears to not be there. I am shook.

Well, let's answer your second question first.

Why Didn't He Become an Animagus/Animagus is a Useless Ability

First, why do other characters we see in the series become animagi? The Marauders do it initially to stay with Remus during the full moon. Later, Peter and Sirius at least take advantage of it to hide from the authorities. Rita Skeeter either did it for funsies and in the aftermath found out it could really help her career, or else was banking on her form being something relatively easy to overlook. Wouldn't have served Rita well if she'd been a horse trying to hide in a pub behind the counter. McGonagall uses it to be a spy for the Order but we don't know why she did it whenever she did it.

Second, what can one do exactly?

Alright, you become an animal. You now have no thumbs and likely cannot open a door. You can't hold your wand. Legally, you have to register with the ministry so basically... you're a cool party trick. Whoop de fucking doo, you can turn into a goat after months of preparation.

The only legitimate use for it is disguising yourself from those who would search for you, espionage, or else if you happen to have a werewolf friend who happens to be going to a school before Wolfsbane happened to be invented.

And all of that's if you get lucky with your form. You have no control over what it will be, which makes it a bit of a gamble to spend all this time learning it when you may not even be able to use it.

What if you're a dolphin? Now you can't transform in anything but the right temperature salt water.

What I'm saying is that while it's a neat party trick, it's not actually in any way useful.

Back to Tom

Could be he is an animagus but he got an entirely useless form like a dolphin. Wasted months learning how to do it and he's a fucking dolphin.

"Well, that was a great waste of my time," he announces.

That said, all of the above could be why Tom would never pursue it. He has no guarantees what he will become is in any way useful, he also needs a certain amount of ah prestige associated with his animal or else risk being a laughing stock, and he doesn't go out and spy himself.

It's a lot of work for not much use, and I can see him easily going "eh" and devoting himself to what he considers more important.

BUT WHAT WOULD HIS FORM BE?!

My personal thoughts?

A cat.

Cats are intelligent, curious, bizarre, killing machines who end up in both the oddest situations and deciding to do things just to see what shit they can fuck up.

A vase is on a counter? That vase is going to the floor.

There's a box that looks too small to escape from. THE CAT'S GOING IN!

A cat doesn't like you for no particular reason? Yeah, get used to that.

I can't not imagine Tom sitting on a counter, pushing off all the vases, just because you said "no".

[battlemaiden13]

Honestly, I just wanted to say that I love your yandere content. I'm not saying that anyone else does it badly, but I do get a little tired of seeing yandere content that is very soft and fluffy and doesn't quite feel, well, yandere. So when you do yandere content and they are unhinged and dangerous, it actually genuinely makes me smile. I love how you write the yandere boys <3

And!! I loved seeing how yandere Edge actually thinks about what he's doing and that he genuinely thinks they're bonding over this. Does anyone else have something like that where their thoughts or intent might not be exactly obvious to anyone but themself?

Thank you! I'm happy to hear you like my yandere content! I feel it's important to keep them dangerous as that's like most of the appeal.I didn’t include Edge because you can read about how he shares his love of poisons with you HERE which is also what this question was referring to 

WARNING: Yandere, Blood, gore, toxic Relations 

Sans -Loves to show off his new methods of spying on people. He has cameras in the oddest of places and he will cruelly show you your family. He thinks he’s being nice, showing you that your family is there and happy but really it comes across rather threatening. 

Papyrus -He likes graphically explaining the many uses of human corpses, specifically how to prepare them in meals for consumption. You are not sure if he has actually ever eaten or prepared humans for being eaten but he seems very well informed. 

Red -Tells really graphic and creepy stories about killings he committed. He also thinks showing you these killings and torture is bonding. It’s not, you are an accessory to horrible crimes but at least if you tell Red how you are uncomfortable (and mentally scared) he will stick to just the stories. 

Blue -His deadly rube goldberg machines, in action. Think saw traps with more steps. They feel like a threat to you but Blue really is just trying to share his special interests. Unlike Red though if you tell Blue how much you hate these he will take it as a great insult. 

Orange - He doesn’t like showing his yandere side so he doesn’t have anything odd that he likes to share with you. Even if you knew about his insane side there isn’t a whole lot he likes besides you and he still feels like showing you the shrine he has to you is weird

Berry -He has a knife collection that literally covers a wall in his bedroom. He loves telling you about knives, their uses, when they were made, how they can be used most efficiently. He thinks you enjoy hearing about it but he does tend to ramble. 

Syrup -He likes sharing his writing. It’s nothing sinister, some of it’s pretty sweet, the only concerning thing is he writes about people he knows. You might not pick this up right away though and he never writes anything too bad. 

[chronicbeans]

Omg I really want to talk about something! (Especially because my blog is probably going to be flooded with odd content because of it)

So like... Childhood Memory Unlocked! Want to see if anybody else can relate!

TW: Unrestricted Internet Access as a Kid, Violent/NSFW Parodies of Children's Content

So, I feel like the people who grew up with the early days of the internet, specifically with like... unrestricted access all have some sort of weird childhood trauma because of it, right? I just had the most like... TRANSCENDENTAL experience reliving some of it.

So, don't judge me too hard... but I do listen to Friday Night Funkin' mod songs. It kinda helps me drown out irritating noise in a way that helps me focus. If I listen to songs that have lyrics, it will make me want to write something or whatever, because I focus on the lyrics. Anyway, that isn't the important part. I was listening to a random playlist of songs, when I came across a really good one called "Stomach Flu". If any of you know the mod that it is from you probably already know where this is going.

I decided to look up the specific song on YouTube and find out which mod it is from so I can see if it had any more good songs. Turns out it's from a SpongeBob Parody mod, and was for freaking SPONGEBOB SICKPANTS. I took one look at that little gremlin and was like "I KNOW you from somewhere, but where"? Then like... I found a reupload and was like "I saw you when I was a kid? Wtf?" I believe I found him from YouTube, but he was also on Newgrounds, I believe. I'm just going to put the Newgrounds tag on this in case any of the other parodies were on there.

Needless to say, it led me down the rabbit hole of remembering the oddest and most gruesome parodies from my childhood, like SpongeBob plays SAW and some other one where SpongeBob was like... A killer or something (I know, real descriptive. There were a million of those probably)? Then I started remembering my MLP phase with all that horror, and how I found YouTube through those Sonic Sprite Videos that were definitely NOT child friendly! Lol but right now I am mainly obsessed with trying to find all of those SpongeBob parodies, because of COURSE I can't be obsessed with a children's show without it specifically being the not child friendly parts of it. 😁

So like... Two main things:

If you see the most random, obscure, and unnerving things being posted on here about parodies from kids shows, don't worry, I will be putting them under read more's. Also, just know that you can blame Friday Night Funkin' music for reviving those memories, as well as unrestricted Internet Access. So like... Don't be concerned if you see me making some sort of SpongeBob Parody Multiverse on my account. That is a perfectly normal thing for a wild ChronicBeans to do! (Or do be, I am pretty sure it isn't considered normal behavior but I can't stop-)

Also, I am just kinda curious if anybody else has had the same experience. Like, seeing the most cursed things on the internet as a kid, then suddenly having those memories unlocked from a random piece of media later in life. Also, if you remember any of those weird SpongeBob parodies and know where to find them, I would be very thankful if you let me know! There are so many I can remember, but like, not remember the names. I really want to find them.

[an-au-blog]

Franon / Franronynous / Frobin anon with important addendum: Also debating wether or not Franky in a regular universe has some kind of prosthetic limb, partly because translating his cyborg features like this feels right…. Partly because I want a retelling of the scene of him meeting Usopp and Chopper again after the timeskip playing his robot features up for them… only here it would just him hamming it up for two grade schoolers using various workshop tools and moving like a robot after Usopp tried to mess with Chopper a little and tell him that the guy that looks after him sometimes is a Cyborg, pointing at his prosthetic hand as proof. By the end of it Chopper is hyperventilating because „ROBOOOOT!“ and Usopp is just as hype and forgets about him actually just making up stuff for his friend. Completely bought into his own story now. Franky is a super cool robot man. A super cool robot man that teaches him how to use drills and lets him drink cola after six pm even tough Usopps mom told him „Cola is a sometimes drink sweetie.“ Wow!

… and then Robin walks in and Franky gets just a teeny bit embarrassed because „Oh no my crush caught me being silllllay“ but also not embarrassed enough to stop making silly noises while he gives two kids a piggyback ride or until he has set them down and „Engaged human mode“ again. Robin is about 50 percent stunned, 10 percent impressed, 40 percent weirded out and 200 percent just adoring how her friend is such a goof. Wouldn’t want him an other way. There is no universe out there where she could ever imagine him not playing robot because some kids asked him all starry eyed if he was one.

Ohhh I like "Franonymous"!

I like the idea of Franky having a prosthetic limb, (maybe a leg or two) that he modifies. Like he'll open up his leg in the metro and pull out a snack bar or something and traumatize a random grandma who saw him. Imagine: you're in class and your pen stops working. You turn to Franky to ask for a new one but instead he takes ur old pen, jabs it in his leg and refills it. It might be funny only to me, but I'm taking the risk idc.

Franky flexing to grade schoolers with the little gadgets or just ig birdhouses or idk... stuff he builds is so perfect to me! Usopp is a quick learner and picks up a thing or two from Franky and Chopper is both jealous that he's not allowed (because he's too young) and so enamored by it all.

Franky probably didn't want to let out his "inner super freak" personality at first, like "she can't know I'm a weirdo! She might not want. What if she doesn't like me anymore," but then he's caught being silly as you said, but then she doesn't make fun of him or act disgusted so how he's way more head over heels. Maybe she laughs but not at him, with him. And I absolutely agree, Franky becomes a kid with kids, he's the most fun big bro and even though he looks a bit scary all the kids live him.

I'd also love the idea that Franky realizes that he's completely gone when he finds out Robin is also a weirdo, just an introverted one. Like he'll make her laugh so hard and she'll have the oddest and funniest laugh, or she'll eat pickles with whipped cream or some other abomination like that. She has a really worn-out old shirt that she sais it's her late uncle's (Saul) and that it brings luck. So she'll wear it every game Franky plays in. She'll rarely talk but then you mention history and she'll talk your ear off not even noticing if someone stopped listening.

I'd also like to think that they binge watch historical dramas, drunk history, Hamilton, and then they switch it up with sci-fi - i-robot, robocop, robo kid even... anything that is cyborg/robot related.

[iamaslutforcoffee]

Always watching

PART 1!

Thank you to @raecortes for this new idea for a one shot! This story i have in mind is way too good for a one shot, so it's going to be a 2 parter ♡

TW: STALKING, Mentions of past abuse, mentions of abuse from parent(s). (All that i can think of. Will add more TW's if I see any)

Please if any of the mentioned is triggering pass on reading this one! Your mental health means more than a quick read.

It started off innocent... cute, even.

It was at first him just watching her when he first moved into town. All eyes were on him, while his were on her. He figured what wasn't to like about her? She was beautiful, she was a sweet girl. Super nice to EVERYONE.. she is the type he would have loved to bring home to his mom to meet.

Then it moved on to him finally getting the courage to talk to her and that resulted in him walking her to and from class, driving her home..

When they started dating Billy got extremely protective. If anyone so much as walked past her without using their manners and excusing themselves, Billy was there and in their face.

His stalking tendencies got worse also, from the little small moments of checking in to now watching her every move and Rae didn't even know .

After awhile, though.. he started to get sloppy in his actions. He got way to comfortable and she was starting to notice that someone was watching her but she couldn't figure out who for the life of her.

"I don't know Nancy... I swear to god someone or something is legit watching me at all times. It's extremely unnerving! " Rae exclaimed, facing the small group of friends including Nancy, Steve, Johnathan, the newest to the group Robin and Sasha, Rae's cousin.

"Well, Rae you are an extremely attractive girl so you're going to be oogled" Sasha replied in place of Nancy.

"No, this is more than that. I have things starting to go missing.. little trinkets, personal items like my hair ties.. brushes.. panties. It's the oddest thing" Rae continued, smoothing out her dress.

Robin snorted, causing Sasha and Johnathan to start giggling and Robin joined. The three earned a lovely look of death from both Nancy and Steve.

"What? What's so funny?" Rae asked, looking at them.

"Well you have an extremely over protective boyfriend..it'd be extremely hard if not impossible to get anywhere near you let alone your underwear without Billy blowing up on them" Robin replied, wiping a now formed tear from her eye.

"Ok? And? It doesn't mean it can't be done!" She complained.

"Yeah but it doesn't mean that it can be either.." Johnathan mumbled, which to his disadvantage Rae side eyed him.

"It just.. it really freaks me out ok? Jason Carver used to do weird shit like that and im still pretty traumatized from it. You guys know that.." she spoke, going kind of silent after the mention of her ex, Jason.

Before Billy, there was Jason Carver. He's the captain of the Hawkins High basketball team, and also Rae's ex.

At first..Jason was amazing. He treated her like a queen.. but then he started getting angry, and angry at Rae for things she never had anything to do with and he'd take his anger out on her. It started when they lost a game and Rae tried cheering him up. He wasn't having any of it and started going off on her saying that she wasn't helping and she never tried to help him in a way that was truly beneficial to his team.

Then it got violent.. but Rae didn't like talking about that for obvious reasons.

"Billy isn't Jason, though...." Steve started.

"Obviously I'm not, shit bird." She heard from behind her. Instantly the hair raised on the back of her neck but in a good way. Despite his upfront personality and real charming way to piss people off, he made her feel safe.

"Ah, Billy. Didn't realize your hostile tendencies were because you think i resemble your kid sister" Steve replied, not amused with the situation at all.

~~~~

Wheww. Here's part one... who's ready for two?!

[auniverseforgotten]

Ship Ask 2 Electric Boogaloo: Bedivere/Tristan mayhap? o.o

SO I'M STARTING HERE BCUS I HAVE SO MANY SALIERI SHIPS AND I NEED TO GO TO BED SOON

Also a note for clarity: I know what fgo says about the Bedivere in Chaldea not being the one in Camelot and servants not remembering things but you're in MY TOWN and my town is ANGST TOWN so servants remember EVERYTHING [except when it's more angsty for them to forget <3] and this Bedivere is the one from Camelot <3

read more because LONK

who’s the cuddler: 

We start with a hard one lmao, so I think both could be depending on the situation? Overall I do think Bedivere would Want cuddles more but...we all know how Bedivere is with self loathing and self worth, so I don't think he would manage to ask for them. Because of this Tristan would Look like the more physically touchy one, because he sees him and reads what he needs via body language. And there is NO WAY Bedivere isn't touch starved so he has noooooo idea what to do with affection when it's given, especially with all his aforementioned self loathing.

BUT ALSO I feel like Bedi's love language for others is touch [maaayeb gift giving] so when he does manage to convince himself it's okay to touch then he just. Never stops. They come off as very lovey dovey [sometimes to a codependent degree depending on the observer] because they are ALWAYS holding hands but it's because Bedivere Needs touch and closeness to ground him.

who makes the bed:

Bedivere, he's a very organized person imo who likes his spaces neat and tidy. I don't necessarily think of Tristan as messy, but like he would care less so long as everything is functional?

who wakes up first:

Situational, but usually Bedivere. If either of them have really bad nightmares from...any number of traumatizing events in their lives, they both tend to stay awake for the rest of the night.

But also Bedivere has a very bad habit of pushing himself as far as possible for as long as possible, and he will just. Not sleep also. Once he and Tristan get together [AND BOY DOES IT TAKE FOREVER], it's less frequent if only because Tristan will make himself stay up too and Bedivere panics and worries over his health.

who has the weird taste in music:

I'm mixed because it would be Hilarious if Bedi's music taste was as eclectic as his palate, but that was born out of a need to survive more than anything else. And I mean...music is Tristan's whole THING.

So definitely Tristan, and Bedivere will return to their shared quarters to the oddest music he has ever heard, but it makes Tristan happy so it makes him happy too.

who is more protective:

LOADED QUESTION because wow they both are! However given what I said about Bedivere at the very start, I'm gonna say that Tristan is more visibly protective of him. Bedivere's protectiveness is fear for Tristan stemming from mythos and that what an aspect of himself did in Camelot will weigh him down and eventually crush him, whereas Tristan's protectiveness is stemming from the fact that his partner was very much on a solitary, incredibly difficult journey for over a thousand years and still will not stop to rest.

When it comes to events and story they're rarely really main targets, not like say Mash or the MC or whatever welfare we get, so I don't think there's a lot of protectiveness around other servants; they no that they can both handle people. Out fighting monsters though, yeah, especially anything that can poison given how Tristan died...Bedivere doesn't take that well. Meanwhile when Bedivere uses his NP Tristan needs to not be anywhere near earshot or line of sight because yeah sure the noble phantasm Bedivere unleashes saying the power can swallow him whole, yeah he's not gonna take that well [tbf neither do any of the other KoR]

And also Bedivere is just...so self sacrificing, he went before the Lion King as a human to fix a mistake he made, he would lay his life down for anyone and everyone, he would die to protect someone every time, and like hell Tristan is going to let him, he'll be selfish for the both of them if he has to, which is another layer of protectiveness when faced with relationships with other servants.

who sings in the shower:

Tristan he's Tristan he has a HARP BOW he just HAS TO. I do also feel like Bedivere is a bit too shy too; we see time and time again that he's just not. Confident in any sort of place for himself? So even small joys would be denied until they managed to get him some kinda therapy THAT IS NOT KIARA.

who cries during movies:

Oh both of them all the way. It may depend on movie, like Tristan absolutely bawling over tragic romances while Bedivere just sits there, uncomfortable, remembering how much fucked up in his life because of other people's tragic romances. Meanwhile any movie that involves a character undertaking a journey and never being able to be the same will just break him. And they both absolutely lose it with animal movies, WHO DOESN'T??

who spends the most while out shopping:

Tristan, really easy pick there. Not only does he seem to REALLY ENJOY the finer things in life, but also Bedivere is so used to living on. Literally nothing, shopping in general is something that takes getting used to. If Tristan ever buys him a gift he has to make certain Bedivere never learns the price because his already modest nature+a thousand+ years of lonely pilgrimage have left him...very aware of the hardships in life and in the face of those, what do you mean you paid hundreds for this gift, I'm not worthy of that- [which starts. such a fight every time.]

who kisses more roughly:

Mmmm boring answer, but honestly I don't think either of them? Bedivere overall is rather gentle and mild mannered, so it's difficult to imagine him being rough in general, and while Tristan I'm sure could, Bedivere's been through so much that all he wants is to treat him softly and gently because god, nothing else did for centuries on end. No he hasn't forgiven Merlin for that, no he won't forgive Merlin for that, he doesn't care if it was started by Bedivere not returning the sword to the lake, that sin has more than been paid for.

who is more domineering:

In the beginning of their relationship Tristan would have to initiate literally anything because Bedivere constantly feels unworthy; over time Bedivere adjusts, but Tristan is still more likely to initiate. So while I can't really see either of them acting entirely domineering, Tristan veers a little closer to it by virtue of being more comfortable with touch and affection.

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

10/10, I really love this ship a lot even though my preference is baaaarely slightly for Merlin and Bedivere. The great part is with this ship I can just ignore all the disgusting womanizing shit typemoon does with Tristan's character <3 <3

THANK YOU FOR THE FOUR ASKS I PROB WILL HAVE TO GET TO THE OTHERS LATER because it's past bedtime and the work week begins again for me,,,,but S O O N.

Ask meme here for anyone who wants to do it/wants to ask me!

[animehouse-moe]

Dandadan Volume 3: Paradigm Shift

So, if you made it through volume 2 of Dandadan you're probably accustomed to the oddity of this series, but volume 3 presses the envelope of how weird is weird. Turning the school into a hunting ground for a Mantis Shrimp and Nessie hybrid alien? Budding romance that results in the oddest triangle out there? Playing baseball with a young man's wedding tackle? But the weirdest thing has to be how they manage to fit that all in while giving readers a riveting and exciting story with each volume, of which volume 3 is of course no outlier thanks to where it takes itself.

So, this volume obviously starts where the other left off, the Acro Silky was causing lots of problems for Takakura and Ayase. Of course, there's action and poses and cool stuff, but I think the best thing was how the Silky was brought back down to earth. Telling the story of her past and how she came to be like that.

I'm such a massive sucker for stories that are told without words, because at the end of the day they're only the approximation of what's actually happening. Removing that crutch from a story forces authors to dig deeper towards the source of what it is that they want to convey to readers, and Tatsu is able to do that incredibly well with the past of the Silky.

If there is one thing I'm going to complain about, it's that Tatsu's posing can be a little over the top sometimes. I think in certain moments it works really well to sell the intent very well, but other times it can come off a bit silly, like the Silky running in the rain in this panel.

It feels far too aggressive and put together to really sell the desperation and emotion the Silky is feeling in the moment. The determination absolutely overpowers the other emotions, and it's something that I feel like is rather liable to happen with the non-action pieces.

Anyways, feelings aside, we careen towards the comedic insanity of Dandadan at breakneck pace and get back to basics with the series.

Throwing a misunderstood romantic link into the mix adds just the right level of spice to the solidification of Aira's position in the story. Takakura and Ayase that are more so competitors or rivals than anything, Takakura and Aira which involves a confused and (potentially) one-sided love, and Ayase and Aira which centers around being mortal enemies who butt heads on everything. It's all so messy and all over the place that it blends perfectly with the ridiculous nature of the world and its characters.

And for those interested, this is the baseball game being played with Takakura's testicle. Just the right amount of excessive nature and creativity.

Since I had complained about it earlier, it's only fair to praise it now. Tatsu's posing and character acting is incredibly strong, so in these ridiculous moments, the characters feel even more amped up and expressive than normal. It's all so dynamic and aggressive, so when there's positive or "strong" emotions in play, they come off incredibly fun.

Moving on once more, would any shounen manga be complete without misunderstandings and tropes? I think not (even though it's not actually the case). This volume uses them as a springboard for both comedy and personal development, giving us some funny moments out of it and some good character growth that allows Takakura and Ayase to begin to trust each other some more.

While we're checking things off our list, I don't think I've brought up the Mantis Shrimp Nessie yet, have I? Well, it happens, and in incredibly odd fashion (since there's no other fashion with Dandadan).

Now, would I say I'm incredibly interested in this design? Not really, but it's more than acceptable in truth. I'm partial to the kickass nature of Takakura's transformation, but also the incredibly odd designs of the Serpoians. But this Nessie hybrid doesn't really carry anything quite like either of those, it's just a middle of the ground, solid design.

And it's also where this volume leaves off. Of course there's fighting to fill the gaps, dialogue to flesh things out, and comedy to get a laugh out of readers, but for the most part this is what makes the volume stand out. I think it does a good job of grabbing hold of all the little pieces that it's put into play in the last 2 volumes and finding a non-committal way to cobble them together.

Actually, quite similar to my commentary on Sakamoto Days, Dandadan does quite well when faced with the present rather than the future. Having a carrot dangled right in front of its face is far more effective than giving it a treasure map. Though compared to Suzuki's series, I will say Dandadan has much more potential as a written affair. The characters have a lot more material to work with and carve from, and Tatsu is doing a solid job of coaxing some appealing shapes out of them (though they're far from dramatic visages).

Considering how this volume fares, I think Dandadan is a great case for a 3 volume test run. The first volume is so out of this world you can't even stay in your seat, and the second works just as hard to keep you guessing. But with this third volume, you learn how to roll with the punches, how to catch the flow of Dandadan. So, if you've been on the fence after reading this far, I'd say that volume 3 is the point of no return. Still not sold on it? Probably not for you. But, if it has you in its grasp now, you're most likely going to be along for the rest of the ride. And believe you me, it's definitely going to be one wild ride.

[newtonsheffield]

excuse me? you can't just say you want to write Greg & Goose as best friends and then not expect me to request this? also all four of them going on double dates (with Kate & Anthony not really knowing how they feel about it) or them babysitting some of the kids? [and btw now I'm also imagining Katie, Charlotte & Sarah forming a band when they're teens, but they're just really really.. not good, but they're having so much fun, so everyone just suffers through it] 💖

Oh Man, Gregory and Lucy and Eddie and Goose are the Sunshine Kids of this AU. And I just can’t help myself where these guys are concerned. I just... love them. Matthew and Greg have Nerdy Guy oh my god, How is my wife this hot Solidarity and Edwina and Lucy have looks like a cinnamon roll, but secretly a badass solidarity. These guys would be friends. And you just Know Anthony is in the corner like “Kate, He’s taking my Greg now too!” 

And Katie, Charlotte, and Sarah are a power girl trio. You just know Charlotte is out there being chaotic as heck, Katie is the quiet mastermind and Sarah is trying to be the voice of reason like “Can we think about this for just a second please?! No? Okay well I’m at least going to make sure we’re sensible about this!” 

Without further ado: Goose and Greg: Bros for life!

Pssssst: @aspoonfuloffiction Gregory being a cutie

Matthew Bagwell had been very nervous when Edwina had tugged him along to his first Bridgerton family dinner. She’d kept a firm grip on his hand while she introduced him to everyone, trying to ignore how Violet Bridgerton had turned to Edwina’s mother and said Oh Mary. What a sweet boy. I see what you mean.  He’d met Hyacinth who looked at him and laughed brightly, Sophie and Benedict, who Matthew knew worked closely with Edwina. Eloise and her husband Phillip, Eloise looking at him sharply for a moment and then Edwina had settled on a man, wearing glasses, grinning happily, a tiny woman tucked under his arm And this is Gregory, Anthony’s youngest Brother and his Fiancée Lucy they’re getting married in September! Edwina had said tucking her arm around his waist. Matthew had smiled, as Gregory adjusted his glasses jostling his fiancée just slightly showing the front of his Tshirt and the words had been out of Matthew’s mouth before he could stop himself. Super cool Doctor Who shirt Man. I love Amy Pond hands down the best companion. Gregory had stilled for a second glancing down at his shirt, a Tardis sketched on it a speech bubble popping out of it with the words Come Along Pond!  written in it. And then a broad smiled stretched over his face, Matt! Are you a whovian?!  Matt had felt himself relax a little Should we not all be? He’d said smiling at Gregorys infectious smile and before Matt knew what had happened Gregory had leapt forward and spun Edwina around hooting Edwina Sheffield I think I love you! You’ve finally found a cool guy to date and I am ecstatic for you. Nay for us both! And by the end of the evening Matthew had the oddest feeling that he’d just made a new best friend. 

Hey Ummm la la la Lucy? Gregory had loitered nervously in the kitchen for several minutes already, his eyebrows frowning adorably, making him look a little like a lost puppy. Lucy clicked her tongue ignoring how her heart fluttered. Yes, honey? Why do you look like you’re about to tell me Gerald just ate a lego stormtrooper again? Gregory shook his head quickly. No um the cat’s fine. You know how I just got the new Zelda game? Do you think it would be weird if I asked Matt if he wanted to play with me? And Lucy’s heart fluttered with the adorableness of her Fiancé standing in their kitchen asking if she thought someone wanted to be his friend. Gregory hadn’t stopped talking about Matthew Bagwell since he’d met him too weeks ago and they’d discussed everything from Classic Nintendo to Jurassic Park. And it was adorable. No Honey, I don’t think that would be weird. Do you want me to ask Eddie for his phone number? Gregory nodded enthusiastically kissing her cheek happily as he skipped from the room Love You Luce! tossed over his shoulder. Lucy heart doing a ridiculous stutter as she typed out Hey Eddie, Can I grab Matt’s number from you? Greg wants to ask him to play Nintendo I think.  The response came back 3 minutes later Edwina Sheffield: Here it is. I already mentioned it to him though and he’s very excited. He’s going to make Hummus. 

Edwina sighed happily as she looked at her fiancé across the room, smiling happily in his eleventh doctor costume at Gregory in his Link costume. Ugh, Christ, Why is Gregory so fucking Cute?! Lucy said a little disgustedly as she took a drink from her glass. Watching as her husband’s arms moved around excitedly. Edwina hummed It’s a bit of a trap isn’t it? One minute you’re going about your life and the next a very cute boy wants to make jam for you and tell you about his feminist ideals. Lucy gasped Yes! So disarming! They can’t just pop out of nowhere like that with their stupid glasses! Edwina heard her sister cackle a little madly beside her You two are ridiculous! Thank god I was never like this with Anthony.  Edwina scoffed, Kate 25 minutes ago you told me you shagged Anthony in the laundry room because he was wearing one of Edmund’s socks as a bracelet, You’re in no position to judge. Kate for her part looked barely ruffled I stand by that. It is awfully adorable when they love their children. You’ll see! And Honestly, Edwina couldn’t wait too.

[taperwolf]

Sometimes I feel like I'm a fraud of a geek — y'know, imposter syndrome over being a nerdy outcast in high school — when the topic of nerd proms or suchlike comes up. Because I always went to the big school dances. Often it was with a date, even.

Part of the deal is that my high school was too small for the traditional cliques to be impermeable; people had to double up. So the football players were also doing the school plays, or the basketball players were in the debate club, and usually people had to have at least three different "things". So I was, myself, a drama kid, in the choir, in the school's delegation to the state model legislature, and on the swim team, in addition to being the geeky kid off playing D&D and messing with computers. I guess what I'm saying is my high school experience forced you to multi-class.

I mean, my Junior year, I got taken to the Sadie Hawkins dance — a weird exercise in applied sexism: "oh, this dance is different because the girls invite the boys!" — by the girl I had a crush on. (She'd been publicly turned down by a guy she fancied, and I was kind of trying to cheer her up by joking, "Well, I'm still available!" She surprised me by going for it; the dance was unremarkable and nothing really came of it in the end), and my senior year, I went to the prom with a girl who'd asked me to sit beside her at graduation (at that dance, we were awkward at each other for an hour or so until we both realized we were fantasizing about the plentiful streamers going up in flames, and then we at least had a topic of conversation; we ended up giving each other lighters at graduation).

But the oddest must have been Homecoming my Senior year, when I took the foreign exchange student to the dance, and came home with two girls.

I'd worked up the courage to ask the French exchange student to go. Her English was very good, if a little shaky in vocabulary yet; "Are you going to the dance?" I'd asked, in an attempt to seem casual.

"Oh, I would like to see it," she said, "But I would — need a boy?"

"I could be your boy," I responded, to my immediate embarrassment.

We did go, and had a reasonably nice dance of it, and I'd invited her over afterwards to watch a movie at my home. Which was when the younger sister of a classmate, who'd gone to the dance with some friends, invited herself along. And so she sat on the sofa with us, there in the living room (next to my parents' bedroom), and we all watched a Disney movie before I drove them both home.

(I've always been a little unclear on her motivations. Probably she was just taking it upon herself to play chaperone; I don't think she ever paid much attention to me at any other time, and it'd be years before anybody called me attractive to my face. But there was that bit of a question.)

Sic transit gloria mundi.

[haunted-xander]

Flowers From Chalk

Miss Alice had gone out on a comission for the day, leaving Albedo to watch over Klee until she returns. The only problem is, he has no clue where to begin dealing with children. What do human kids like to do? Talk? Play? He doesn't know. He's never dealt with kids before, nor does he have any childhood memories to use for reference.

...Wait, where even is Klee? "Albedo! Albedo come look, I drew something!" ...Ah, seems she just ran back to the living room. "I'm coming."

As he walks into the room, he notices her sitting on the floor, surrounded by scattered papers, pencils and stuffed toys. "Albedo, look! I drew aaaall of my stuffed toys!" Klee called out enthusiastically as she noticed him entering the room. "So it would appear." That certainly explains why all her stuffed toys are here rather than in her room.

"Look, look, I even drew Dodoco!" She points to a sketch of what appears to be... a fluffy ball with ears and a tail? "...Dodoco?" Albedo had never heard the name before, so he's curious as to what sort of creature she's refering to. At his question, Klee looks at him in slight surprise, then quickly gathers herself and runs up to her room in a hurry.

Right as Albedo gets ready to stand up to look for her, she comes down in a flash holsing yet another stuffed toy. "This is Dodoco! Mommy says it's rude to forget names, so you better remember it!" Klee then proceeds to squish the toy in a tight hug, nuzzling her face into it. The toy resembles the sketch she was pointing to earlier.

So Dodoco is simply another stuffed toy? Why does it have a name while the others are simply called things such as 'Mr. Rabbit' or 'Ms. Foxy'? Albedo has never been good at containing his curiousity, so he asks: "Why does this one have a name while the others are simply called after the animal they are?"

With an indignant look on her face, she scoffs as if offended by his comment. "Because he's my bestest beat friend ever of course! Why wouldn't he have a name?" Tilting his head, Albedo can't help but wonder the logic of such a statement.

It is a stuffed toy, no different from the rest other than its peculiar shape. Why is this one so special? His confusion must show on his otherwise blank face, for Klee pouts in a way he's never seen her do before. "What's so weird about him being my friend?"

Albedo startles at the question. Was he that obvious? "It is a stuffed toy. It does not feel or do anything, so I can't help but wonder what makes you feel it is your friend." Miss Alice always told him he was too blunt, but he doesn't understand why he should hide his thoughts from others.

Klee looks offended, like he had just insulted her entire family line. "Even if he doesn't talk, or move and stuff he's still my friend!"

It is an object, not a person. "But how can you say that if it doesn't feel anything? A being without emotion could hardly be considered 'friendly'." Taken aback by his answer, she scrambles for a reply. "Um, because... Uh, just... because! I just feel it! He's my friend because I say he is!" So it's a matter of the owner projecting their feelings upon the object? He doesn't understand.

Klee opens her mouth only to close it again, as if she's trying to find the words she wants to say. "And um, you know... You said you didn't have feelings either but I still think you're my friend..."

Even knowing his heart is fake and does not feel, she deems Albedo a... friend? He is not human, he does not feel so surely he cannot be considered a 'friend'.

Humans sure are interesting creatures, they seek companionship with the oddest of things. Even a thing that is not human, that is not truly alive and does not feel, can be a friend to them.

"...You feel things now, don't you, Albedo?" Are these... feelings? Is this what having emotions is like? He doesn't know, for he's never had feelings before. It is... foreign, strange. Terrifying.

"Do I truly feel as humans do? I was not made for feelings, so how could they grow inside me?" His master did not need him with feelings. It was never part of her plan for him, and he doesn't know if she even made it possible for him to achieve them.

"Uh, well, feelings are kinda like... Flowers, like dandelions! They grow wherever they want, not caring if you're made for them or not. They must've grown inside your chalk brain because you gave them lots of emotion thoughts! Yeah! Emotion flowers in your brain!!"

That is a very child-like way of seeing things. And yet it feels strangely accurate. "I... suppose that is one way to look at this phenomenon."

His thoughts came back to Dodoco, he is simply a stuffed toy, but if he were given life, would he be able to grow feelings like he did?

Flowers of emotion, born from the human-shaped chalk. What a strange world he lives in.

The thought makes him smile, and Klee shines with joy at the first ever smile she had seen him make.