#and I quote ‘they are worthless idiots’

[anxiouspotatorants]

With genuine respect to those who like and root for this character I have officially become a Logan hater

[lina-transverse]

Queer discourse on this site of fun cause it just turns into mostly White Queers just saying the same things over and over and no one is capable of understanding nuance or willing to consider the others point of view cause they're more concerned with "winning" the argument. Which is stupid and pointless because arguing is for idiots.

Y'all know we're on the same side right? There's no point in having discussions over 'who the most oppressed' is when it's obviously black and brown queer people, especially transfem black women.

This is a fact.

Do y'all even remember back in the late 2010's when the only time "transgender" or "transfem" trended n this site was when another black or brown sister was killed?

Do y'all even care about them? I've seen tons of posts for Pauly Likens which is great, but where's the outrage for Shannon Boswell, shot to death in the street while police denied said shooting even happened? What about Tayy Thomas and River Goddard, just children who were killed by their partners? Where's your rage for TK Hill, shot outside his hair salon? Or Africá Garciá, homeless and shot to death in a dirty street.

Last year 320 trans people were killed. Three-hundred and fucking twenty.

Of those deaths, 94% of them were transfem/ trans women and over 80% were black and brown people. Many were sex workers or homeless. Lots of them were degendered by the media and police in death. Even more deaths are unreported either due to degendering or their bodies not being found. So many of these people (again, mostly black and brown transfem's) are violated and horrifically tortured by their tormentors.

If your discussion of transphobia doesn't include black and trans people, if you cannot recognize this simple fact, then you're no ally to the trans community.

Community means you look out and support those that are the most vulnerable; it means you show the fuck up and speak the fuck up when you hear racist shit. It means you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT call the cops on a homeless person, it means you look out for those that have less than you, the disadvantaged and disenfranchised. White queers have white privilege! We still benefit from our whiteness (especially in the US) so fucking use that shit!

Get your heads outta your asses and actually be a part of your community instead of whinging and whining and wringing your hands helplessly while ignoring the ACTUAL dangers trans people face.

I'm gonna close this with a quote from a friend of África Garciá that perfectly encapsulates how the world views transfem's.

“A lot of trans women are on the streets and are made invisible because many people believe that their lives are worthless,�� LeQueen, a trans artist and friend of García’s, told the paper. “They don’t give them the ‘spotlight’ that they deserve, and those men take advantage of that. They think, If I kill her here, no one is going to care.”

Source 1

Source 2

[symptomofgout]

the narrative of kaveh being an idiot is so baffling to me because he is, quite literally, canonically considered a genius…? why is the popular consensus “6000 IQ alhaitham and his lovably stupid roommate kaveh” when every npc commenting on kaveh refers to his intellect & talent, the literal god of wisdom says kaveh has an “almost-perfect grasp of what it truly means for sumeru to be a nation of wisdom” (whereas she questions alhaitham’s wisdom in her line about him), and alhaitham’s own story profile calls kaveh a genius multiple times??? like the whole point is that he’s alhaitham’s intellectual equal despite having entirely separate worldviews and demeanors, which frustrates alhaitham to no end — ‘how can someone so smart do all of these things that, to me, are so evidently stupid?’ the takeaway from their dynamic should NOT be kaveh is dumb, but rather that empathy and emotion aren’t actually the opposites of logic and intelligence, but sadly both alhaitham and the realm of academia as a whole are too blinded by their own definitions of logic to fully realize that.

tl;dr kaveh is not dumb by any standards and i will prove it

(under the cut: quotes/screenshots/etc proving this + more. please spread the gospel and dispel ignorance. amen)

some npc voicelines (there are more but i’m lazy):

these are pretty self-explanatory — kaveh is a widely-renowned scholar, architect, and engineer throughout sumeru. he graduated from the akademiya with flying colors, students were desperate to take his classes, etc.

nahida’s voicelines:

both are intelligent but only one is wise: kaveh. alhaitham is too restricted by his narrow definition of wisdom (read: what he deems ‘logical’) to look beyond himself and grasp that there’s more to intellect and knowledge than pure cold rationality. he can’t comprehend that empathy and intellect aren’t fundamentally incompatible — in fact, they’re best when put hand in hand. kaveh is one of the few scholars capable of valuing emotions, empathy, and artistic endeavors, while the rest of the akademiya closes themselves off to that entire realm of knowledge from the get-go. this is what makes kaveh uniquely wise, and what alhaitham lacks. until you understand that emotions and logic can and should coexist, you won’t be successful in the true pursuit of knowledge.

last but not least:

alhaitham’s profile (worth noting that profile stories are pretty much the most reliable source of information on characters’ true beliefs and opinions — their voicelines are still them putting on acts in front of the traveler, but these stories are told from the perspective of an omniscient narrator and are likely closer to the truth):

“two geniuses.” and even after their falling out, “neither of them will deny the other party’s exceptional brilliance” — meaning alhaitham considers kaveh to be exceptionally brilliant. point blank. in the text bro

hilarious line — it’s basically alhaitham saying he doesn’t understand how someone with kaveh’s talent and intellect could have a personality/worldview so different from haitham’s. ‘how can someone that smart be so annoying!!!!!’ and ofc by values we know it’s referring to kaveh’s idealism, empathy, and affinity for the arts

alhaitham considers kaveh to be “another genius,” someone who is so much his intellectual equal that he’s “an excellent mirror” for alhaitham. it’s like an experiment for him — the initial question is “how can someone as smart as me care about all of these things i’ve always believed to be worthless,” the subjects are kaveh and alhaitham, the controlled variable is their intellect. because their intellect is the same, alhaitham is able to study their differences (can’t attribute said differences to varying intellect). alhaitham would never say it out loud — and luckily he doesn’t need to bc his character story tells us — but he’s deeply fascinated by kaveh bc kaveh’s very existence is a threat to haitham’s worldview, & he’s letting kaveh stay with him bc through kaveh, alhaitham learns about not just himself but the outside world and humanity as a whole, and as a scholar, there’s nothing more valuable. (also because he feels comfortable with kaveh [“he’s a familiar face”] and they’re both lonely [“similarly lacks familial attachments”] lol these two are never beating the We Know You Don’t Actually Hate Each Other allegations but that’s a different point so i digress)

IN CONCLUSION:

this is all just the TEXTUAL evidence — people saying “kaveh is smart” — and doesn’t even include all of the obvious implicit signs of kaveh’s intellect (no one who graduates from the akademiya w honors and teaches classes there could be anything other than incredibly intelligent, al “i don’t do anything that i don’t want to do” “i’m not going to bother explaining it to you because you won’t understand” haitham not only puts up with but actively seeks out debates with kaveh which he absolutely would not do if he didn’t respect him or consider him to be of roughly equal intellect, look at the debates he has w alhaitham on sumeru messageboards and TELL ME those messages sound like they were written by an idiot or itto or something [you cant], etc etc etc).

and also this is all from 3.3 (+ 3.4 alhaitham leaks)! we don’t even know kaveh’s rarity yet, that’s how far he is from being playable, but there’s already this much information on just how smart he is! it’s the main thing we know about him — 1) he’s smart, 2) he’s passionate/driven by what he feels is right! why does that keep turning into “LOL HOTHEADED HIMBO”??!

okay look. this is all so extra i know. BUT. i must set the record straight now (god knows it’ll only get worse the closer we get to kaveh’s release) because this sudden-onset mass illiteracy within genshin players is going to send me to an early grave. feel free to use as a resource and educate the ignorant so kaveh does not end up reduced to a one-note meme dumb guy when literally that’s just… not even in the game. i mean at least other annoying OOC fandom interpretations have basis in the game but genshin literally tells u every time it gets the opportunity that Kaveh Is Just As Smart As Alhaitham Because Cold Rationality Does Not Equal Wisdom/Intelligence and losing that would be such a crime because it is by far the most interesting n promising thing hoyo has done with new characters in ages! like, not only are they funny and entertaining, not only are they fascinating incredible foils for one another, but they’re used to make a much-needed argument against the prevalent hegemony of mindless rationality and our “logical” society’s illogical fear of emotion/empathy. but yeah sure, theyre just itto & ayato 2.0, i guess. god. the lack of reading comprehension among genshin players is literally an epidemic

[warriorcatsofficialfacts]

Could you explain the eugenicist background of MBTI? I'm genuinely curious, always hated the MBTI thing (more-so because I'm autistic and hate being put into boxes), so on the smaller hand: Vindication! On the larger hand: Fuuuuck that. Absolutely fuck that.

yeah sure i fucking hate the myers briggs foundation (mostly because they managed to be right about me specifically and i hate when psdscience is accurate on accident)

now here's the first thing to establish: mbti. is wrong. it's bullshit. it don't fuckin work. almost like you can't fit 7 billion people into 16 personalities who would've fuckin thunk

now this is all according to the personality brokers: the strange history of myers-briggs and the birth of personality testing (which i reccomend you read because it explains everything way better than i can or want to)

-the briggs (katherine and her daughter isabella) designed the test to "weed out the weak in society"

-the test was inspired in part by "The Eugenic Marriage: A Personal Guide to the New Science of Better Living and Better Babies", a bestselling book from 1914

-myers herself (i believe katherine) once said, and this is a quote,

"Multitudes of people are utterly worthless or worse than worthless, having no just claims whatsoever upon the civilization which they burden with the dead weight of their existence. This is a sound, incontrovertible judgment, which has to be shunned, because our feeling for the ‘underprivileged’ is so strong that such truths can hardly be mentioned. Our feeling revolts against it."

Unsurprisingly both of the briggs were also violently racist.

the basic summary is that MBTI was designed to identify who the tests creators viewed as desirables and undesirables and is also stupid idiot bullshit that Don't Work

[ourladyofmaplemurder]

Riverdale is Bad and I’m So Smart

So, I was going to make a response video to Friendly Space Ninja's video on the finale...but honestly, there are just other things I'd rather do with my time...

I did, however, write a script for the video. You can read that here if you wish.

The short version is that people who talk about art the way he does are fucking idiots and I'm tired of being nice about it. If you don't know what you're talking about, either figure it out or shut the fuck up. **And let me clarify: There is a big difference from expressing a personal opinion to friends and standing on authority with a huge platform to provide "critique". Huge difference. Not understanding or not liking the finale is totally valid, (It wasn't necessarily what I would have done with the final season) but what makes me angry about this guy in particular is that he positions himself as an authority on media criticism and analysis. He then provides the shittiest fucking examples of both. I can't stand it.

Hi. So. Our dear friend Friendly Space Ninja put out another video about Riverdale. This time, he took it upon himself to discuss the finale. Anything for a click, right, buddy?

Well, he made all sorts of claims about the finale and the final season. He gave his thoughts on the show as a whole. And all of it, dear viewer is entirely worthless. Strong statement, I know, but hear me out.

He didn’t watch the latter half of season 5, nor season 6 at all. He didn’t even watch all of season 7. He watched the first few episodes with specific expectations and when those were not met, he skipped to the end only to be baffled by its conclusion, claiming that it was all meaningless and even going as far as to “explain” quote unquote that Angel Tabitha’s rework of the timelines erases the other shows that Roberto Agurrie Sacasa has made. This, by the way, demonstrates such a lack of understanding of the surface level plot, that I can’t even respond to it.

For these reasons, I will not be refuting his assertions as I did in my last video response to him. It’s simply not worth it. His video is so deeply stupid that picking it apart would be giving it more credit than it deserves.

I was very diplomatic in my last response video, but I really don’t wish to be this time. I really don’t think it’s worth it.

However, I would like to say a few things, just to give you a sense of why I am so fucking angry.

Firstly, I’d like to talk about the work of Barnett Newman. In particular, I’d like to talk about Who’s Afraid of Red, Yellow and Blue III. The first time I saw this painting, or even just paintings like it, I scoffed and said, “Why is something like this in a museum? It’s stupid. It’s just red, yellow, and blue. Is this even art?” Years later, however, I learned an interesting story about this painting.

In 1986 the painting was vandalized in an anti-Semitic attack. Daniel Goldreyer attempted to restore the painting in 1991. Should be easy, right? I mean, it’s just three colors.

However, the effort proved utterly unsuccessful as the depth of the color was incredibly difficult to replicate. The skill required to create this painting was far more than the untrained eye could perceive.

The first time I saw this painting, I did not understand it and condemned it as stupid because I was an arrogant prick.

And I’m sure hundreds of thousands of people who also don’t understand painting would agree with such a dismissive sentiment.

But just because I have millions of people agreeing with me doesn’t mean I know anything. It just means a lot of people don’t understand painting. That’s it.

Friendly Space Ninja’s video on Riverdale is the equivalent of someone looking at this painting and calling it stupid without understanding anything about abstract expressionism, painting techniques, and the works of Neoplasticism that this series was responding to.

It is watching Sunset Boulevard and complaining there is no color.  

It is the equivalent of an incel giving you dating advice.

But let me address Mr. Space Ninja directly and I won’t use any metaphors because I want this to be understood.

More than making a stupid response to Riverdale, your crime, Mr. Space Ninja, is arrogance. You look at a piece of art, you are utterly baffled by it, as you yourself say in the video, and you assume that the art must be the stupid one. It couldn’t be that it’s going over your head. No. It must be meaningless because you can’t grasp its meaning.

This is very troubling and also quite sad.

Though, I suspect you have no interest in providing useful insight into the works you discuss. It’s far more lucrative to provide inflammatory confirmation bias and, at the end of the day, that’s all you’re really doing. And to be clear, that is an insult. Wouldn’t want you to miss that. <3

Now, I also watched Alex Meyer’s video on the finale as well out of curiosity, as he also has a large platform. I haven’t watched his other videos because they seemed overtly negative about the show and I figured they wouldn’t be even remotely enjoyable. Curiosity won out though and honestly, though the sacred cow he is mocking is mine and thus, I disagree…I can’t fault him for this. There was a lot of care and thought that went into this. Even if he thinks the show is silly (and it certainly is) there’s a clear affection for it.

Not only that, but towards the end of the video he says this: “Time will be kind to your show. And all the chucklefucks like me with our kneejerk reactions? That's all going to fade away."

He also acknowledges the fact that there might be more to it than just the silliness. He doesn’t talk about it because he prefers to joke about the show rather than analyze it. He’s a jester, not a scholar. I could never fault him for that.

But I also don’t think anyone in their right mind would consider this critique. This is a comedy bit. And I’m not saying that comedy is less important or valuable than analysis. Not at all. It’s just different.

Anyway. Friendly Space Ninja. Fuck you.

[theragnarokd]

[i deny anything to do with this. dirk writing fanfiction, modern no sburb au, rated T so far, lots of self loathing and judginess]

It was the end of the evening shift. He did a lot of closing nowadays, night blurring into dawn: there wasn’t anyone to drag him out. Not anymore. On the counter, there was a finished drink, the customer’s name written on it in sharpie. His coworker must have ducked out just before calling out their name. He picks it up. It’s not until he calls out the name that it registers: “Enkidu!” From the back of the coffee shop, a familiar figure approaches, and Gilgamesh’s heart clenched. For a desperate moment, he dared to hope.

Dirk exhales, rereading the paragraphs for typos. Then he saves it into the folder titled Oubliette, and opens a different text file. His SBaHJ reverse-mpreg vore isn’t going to write itself, and Dirk can’t disappoint his readership.

Even as the thought forms, his inbox dings. His heart speeds up at the view of the sweetest words known to man or machine:

[AO3] Comment on SBaHJ: the Romeomance

Of course he immediately opens the notification.

centaursTesticle left the following comment:

My admiration, as always, is yours. I would be happy to read more in this GRIPPING tale

Dirk permits himself a small smile. This guy has been commenting on Dirk’s fics, first in a binge and now on every new installment he updated. Dirk mentally fist-bumps him before opening his WIP folder, where the relevant fic document lives. It’s a good day.

It is not a good night.

Dirk should go the fuck to sleep. Or at least to shower. He washed the dishes earlier and his shirt has more unmentionable fluids on it than his latest fic update, which is saying something.

Instead, he goes to Romeomance’s page and hits refresh.

Not even a tick on the visit count.

This is stupid. Dirk is being a useless idiot. If people can’t appreciate his subtle satire and how it corresponds with the tone of the original comics and movies, that’s on them, and not on him.

There’s a newer fanfic than his with twice the hitcount, not even looking at kudos.

Well, so what? People like what they like. As long as Dirk is happy with the stuff he writes – and while he’s always aware of places he could improve, he rather is happy with it – what does it matter what response some other person’s fic gets?

The title is a lower-case quote from a song that was in the top 40s ten years ago. The tags include Enemies to Lovers, Only One Bed, and Slow Burn. (The fic isn’t even 10K, and it’s marked as complete, so Dirk is a teensy bit skeptical of how slow that burn is.)

Dirk clicks in. Maybe he can learn a thing or two.

The first two paragraphs make a fairly clever allusion to the famous stairs monologue. It’s a surprisingly fresh outlook on a piece of canon that’s been worn to palimpsest and back by fanon. It could be a good fic. Dirk might enjoy it. Better, Dirk might learn how to write something that isn’t worthless drivel–

He closes the tab.

This would be an excellent time to go shower.

He opens the tab again. He reads through the story grimly, marking how the dialogue sounds lively and not like two finger puppets squeaking at one another. Yes, okay, it’s a stylistic choice for Dirk. That, and he can’t fucking write dialogue to save his life.

By the time Dirk reaches the author’s notes at the end, the only argument he can make against deleting all his own fic is that it can serve as a cautionary tale.

The end notes thank two beta readers. Dirk runs his fics past Roxy when he can swing it, but for the most part, he hasn’t managed to attract a beta reader in years. Maybe that’s why everything he writes gargles balls.

There’s also a link to the author’s entry in the Every Little Bid Helps fanfic auction. Dirk clicks on the link mostly out of self preservation: if he rereads this fic, he really will orphan his account. That would be sad for that centaursTesticle guy, wouldn’t it? Think of the testicles. The centaur ones.

[bomberqueen17]

ongoing

ok well so. the Subaru is declared a total loss. I'm just gonna witter on about that for a bit. But outside the cut I will ask for submissions and suggestions for Most Unhinged Bumper Stickers / Car Decorations, because this is how I'm getting through this, I'm making myself cry-laugh at all the incredibly unhinged bumper stickers out there on the Internet. I'll start the ball rolling with this one:

True Patriots Brake For America's Only Native Marsupial

I got irritated with the insurance company, because I was like ok, the sum total of information I have here is that you'll give me $X for the car. But what's actually wrong with it? You're not mentioning it but I know in the past I have had a car declared a total loss, and have taken it as salvage and repaired it myself, I know that's an option. Oh yeah, said the guy on the phone, you can do that. Want to do that instead? I can find out how much we'll give you for that instead. Well, I said, it depends on what's actually wrong with the car, don't you think? And he was like... not understanding me. He put me on hold and came back and rattled off a different figure and was like "so you wanna do that?" and i was like no because i do not know what is wrong with the car please tell me what is wrong with the car and he was getting increasingly confused and I was getting increasingly frustrated so I said please can you email me both figures you quoted me plus the repair estimate for the car so I can make an informed decision and he was like oh yeah sure.

and emailed me two identical letters with two different figures, which I think did match the ones he'd quoted me earlier but there was no text anywhere within the letters to explain what the difference was. Most notably, nowhere did it tell me what it's called when you take the total loss settlement, keep the vehicle, and repair it yourself, and I still don't know what that's called, so I sound fully idiotic when I try to describe it. There's a like two- or three-word phrase that means that, but IDK what it is! Owner Maintenance Something, or Owner Management Something, or-- I don't know! It was never written down for me anywhere.

Anyway. I called the repair shop, and said ok, I need to see the repair estimate, and they were like legally we cannot tell you that. What. But when I dropped the car off they'd texted me a link to a website with status updates, so I went and looked at that. And the $$ amount of repairs was extremely similar to the $$ amount they'd give me for the car as salvage. So I'd break even if i just kept it and fixed it. But it would then be worthless in resale because it would be marked that it was salvage, and it's likely those repairs aren't the only work it's gonna need. And I wasn't expecting to get a ton for this car once I'd driven it into the ground, but-- I also knew it had underlying problems and did not know if those problems were included in the repair estimate.

I emailed the insurance company and said, ok, I know we were not understanding one another at all on the phone, but what part of "i need to see the repair estimate so I can make an informed decision on this" was unclear? Please let me know so I can clarify. I don't know how you expect me to decide whether to take the payment and let you scrap the car, or keep the car to fix it, if I do not understand how much it will cost to fix or what is broken about it. I genuinely do not understand what part of this desire of mine is unclear, and I don't understand how other people make this decision without any of this information. Please can you send me the repair estimate, because I can't actually proceed without it. Please let me know if you do not understand this request. I don't know how else to ask it but I can try to explain further if it is still not clear.

So they sent me the repair estimate with a terse note, and I feel like some kind of jerk but I genuinely-- do people not ask?? Does nobody ever want to know what's broken??? HOW do other people make a choice about this without knowing ANYTHING????

The repair estimate was grim. Things I have zero doubt were actually broken-- the right suspension arm, but not the left. The radiator supports, god damn it. A hood is cheaper than I thought, but painting it is not cheap. The fucking plastic bumper, I knew was going to cost a mint. The engine was fine, the radiator was fine, but like. nothing else was.

And the underlying defect with the steering that my buddy Chris at the shop had grimly diagnosed and told me he couldn't fix without a warranty recall, which was in effect for every other model of this car but not this one-- wasn't on there, they hadn't noticed it. And the transmission sticks sometimes in Park. And the wheel bearings were just replaced, but if the suspension is damaged on one side, how do I know it's all right on the other after all....

The previous Subaru, a third-hand stick-shift Impreza, died at 125k miles, which is objectively reasonable but I thought was premature. The starter motor failed, along with something I can't recollect now about the steering. It was driveable but I had to start it with a hammer. Coming on for winter, I gave up on it, and got this one, which was fantastic because that was the winter we suddenly had a bunch of Great Plains blizzards the Impreza absolutely would not have made it through.

This one was at 94k miles.

So, reluctantly, I figured, I've got to let it go. Someone who can turn a profit on the labor can rehab it and make it drivable for another 50k miles probably, but that someone isn't me. I hope they sell it cheap and some college kid moves home and back another five times with it. I hope it has a lovely second life and someone actually uses that roof rack. But I had to let it go. I turned in the spare keys and cleared it out and cried.

I'm shopping for... something similar I guess. I can't get by with less cargo space, I stuff that thing full on the reg. I don't like a low-slung car, I need ground clearance just for my parking spot on the farm let alone anything else; ideally I want any vehicle of mine to be able to make it up the forest road and around the loop in reasonably dry conditions, so that if something happens to block the loop at the barnyard end I could still get out, and so if I need to haul something up to the compost I can make it there in my vehicle (or like if I want to collect woodchips or something).

I was hoping electric vehicles would have advanced enough for me to get one of those. But I need either a 300-mile, foolproof, not optimistic but will really do it in all weather conditions range, OR there to be reliable, available charge points at intervals halfway, and the Thruway rest stops are so torn up that there are many points at which there's nowhere to get gasoline, let alone an electric charge. And all the articles I read were about the etiquette of waiting in line for a charge-- oh my god. if I were a different person this would be fine, i would make it work, but I am not that person, I cannot cope with that kind of uncertainty, I would forget to plug it in or something, with my luck there'd only be one charge point on the whole westbound I90 and there'd be some jackass charging a dead truck on it for two hours-- I can't do it yet. Dude's next car can be electric. But mine can't be, not yet.

I might get a hybrid, even though they are an expensive, inefficient half-measure.

I have the incalculable privilege that I can get by without a car nearly indefinitely. It's complicated and difficult, but I can borrow cars each end, and thank God, the Amtrak runs, and I'm on it now. It's pricey but not that much more than the cost of gas, and it's pretty direct and I have friends at each end who'll pick me up, even though there's no public transit to speak of either place. So I can wait for the check to come from the insurance company, and I can use it for a downpayment on something, and if what I want isn't available I can order it and wait. I'm much more fortunate than most.

I'm just bummed, so please, send me the worst / best / most hilarious bumper stickers you can find.

[thefandomenchantress]

SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 11 OF CHAPTER 2 IN DRDT

Alright, so I may be overthinking this...Like, a lot...but I've got a theory (Also this is copy and pasted from my comment on YouTube).

So something interesting I only caught on a rewatch is that David does not actually confirm all of Ace's testimony.  Here's the quote:

"But I will admit, I did indeed meet Arei last night in the relaxation room.  As for what I actually talked to her about...Well, I've already forgotten!  She's dead now, so who cares?"

Now what I gathered from this was that while he is confirming that he met with Arei in the relaxation room, he is not confirming that their conversation contained the information Ace said that it did.

Which struck me as odd, since you'd think after giving that whole speech about just admitting the truth, David would just admit that Arei accused him of having that secret.  But he doesn't.  Instead, he keeps repeating that Ace is lying about something, (Since he says he wants to call Ace a "worthless lying piece of shit") but doesn't bother actually calling him out on it.  Not because of his pride or anything, like he said was his reason for revealing his secret, but because he thought that the rest of the cast wouldn't listen, implying this was the truth but that none of them were willing to hear it anymore.  And so he drops the topic and Ace's entire testimony is just kinda confirmed in the rest of the cast's eyes, even the stuff that wasn't confirmed by David.

So in my opinion, with all that evidence...Ace is definitely lying about the stuff that happened when David and Arei met up.  I'm not sure what they actually talked about, but it probably wasn't related to David's secret, since David seemed so surprised Ace knew about his secret even though his conversation with Arei could've easily been overheard.

But the next question we have to address is...Why would Ace even lie in the first place?

The obvious answer is that he was being suspected of murder and wanted to throw the blame onto David, and that might be true.  But if Ace was lying about this entire interaction like I suspect, that would require him to have already picked up on the fact that David was a lying manipulator, something no one besides Teruko had noticed.

And if Ace already knew that, without overhearing anything, you'd think he'd just tell everyone, 'Hey, David is a manipulating scumbag', not make up an elaborate story about how he'd overheard Arei say it.

But here's the thing: Ace has stated over and over that he doesn't want to die, and that it's one of his greatest fears.  Veronika told him that being so mean to everyone would make them want to kill him, and that's true for murders like the one Nico pulled, that was done purely on emotion and no regards for what could happen in result of their actions.  But if you really thought about it for more than a few seconds, you'd realize that if you really wanted to get away with murder, you'd aim to kill the people who you'd think could solve the murder.  You wouldn't go for the idiot jockey who wouldn't be able to solve the case no matter how hard he tried.

But if Ace were to say that he has more observational skills than literally everyone else in the room, since he managed to catch onto the fact that David was a manipulator when no one else did, (Besides Teruko, who only knew because of her first interaction with David when he broke character), then that would be all the reason a killer would need to justify killing Ace.  He was a complete jerk and could potentially notice things the others didn't.

So instead of telling the rest of the class that he was the one who caught onto David's false persona, he claimed Arei figured it out, simply by reading the secret over Whit's shoulder, something he oh-so-conveniently didn't notice at all.

...So yeah.  That's why I think David was calling Ace a liar even after he said he'd stop denying things that weren't true.  I'm probably waaaay overthinking this, but that's my theory.

[go-go-devil]

2, 11, 17, 37, 47 for patches and 5, 6, and 19 for wayne hylics! (sorry that's a lot. keeping you occupied.)

Hell yeah, two of my favorite bald guys! And don't worry, I have enough to say about both of them to fill up these answers ;-)

Patches:

2: A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

Patches met with Solaire and very likely regrets losing his trust, which is why he encourages us to "keep him by [our] side" even if he thinks the man's an idiot. I'm still genuinely shocked the fandom largely ignores this piece of actual canon dialogue, or misinterprets it in bad-faith takes. Just because Patches is an asshole doesn't mean he's irredeemably evil, c'mon guys...

11: Faceclaim for the role

No one honestly. In fact, I am so attached to Patches's phenomenal voice acting that I would only accept William Vanderpuye himself to play him in a unnecessary live-action adaptation of any soulsborne title even though he doesn't really look much like him.

17: Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

I had mentioned in another ask post that I associate the song "Hyena" by Rancid with him since I think a lot of the lyrics fit him very well. There's some other songs that make me think of him too, but several of those tend to be so specific that it's hard for me to communicate my thought process unless I go into a mini essay about how they connect for me (and I'm not just talking about the songs that I associate with the relationship between him and my oc Leiurus)

37: What they really think about themselves

In many ways, Patches truly does see himself as legendary rogue who's forsaken the Gods and their worthless treasures. He feels entirely justified in his neverending quest to punish clerics and those who exhibit a similarly greedy nature which fills his ego enough to help him maintain a positive attitude and never lose heart, even as the world decays around him

On the other hand... I feel he's also self-aware enough to know how lonely he is. Whatever those clerics did to him in the past must have truly been traumatic because this fucker has some severe trust issues. Even in DS3 when he finds ONE other person he respects and wants to be friends with he doesn't even have the balls to admit it to them, instead forcing himself to keep a distance and only saving them whilst wearing a disguise so they won't recognize him.

There's a part of me that even thinks his desire to trick non-clerics comes from a sense to test whether or not they have the tenacity to actually survive in this dangerous world without going hollow, just so that when he does beg for forgiveness and becomes their "friend" he knows they won't leave him too soon after

47: Their dream job

Being unemployed and kicking landlords and missionaries down holes to steal their money >:-)

Wayne:

5: Best personality trait

Unfortunately Wayne doesn't exhibit THAT many personality traits in both games, but his casual demeanor I've always found very endearing. He's just so damn chill and cool even when faced with great peril, and has such a deep respect for his friends. I also adore his little anarchistic quips whenever he stole something off the ground in Hylics 1 and really wish they had brought that back for 2, though him raiding Blerol's treasury in 2 does help fill that niche I suppose

6: Worst personality trait

A severe case of ennui for his place in the world, and the endless cycle of fighting his opposite to which he feels trapped in. Despite my history of Hylics angst writing this is actually canon, but I can't elaborate on this for you yet because you haven't beaten Hylics 2

19: Vices/bad habits

I like to imagine Wayne's greatest sin is sloth. Sometimes he'll lie in bed for hours upon hours because he can't bring himself to do anything, even if he wants to do something. There are also times where he'll choose to linger just a little too long in the Afterlife; letting the purgatorial tranquility overtake his senses until it almost melts his body into terrestrial juice

Most often all it takes is for his friends to come pay him a visit to get him out of his funk, but lately after the events of H2 he's begun to feel more listless than usual...

[fuchsiamae]

🦤 or 🦅

🦤 a quote you had to delete :(

ohhh yknow what? how bout a cut portion of ch1, which I decided was too distracting, but is so cute. this would have been right after her first "testing" scene, alternate way to get to cave's cryosuite.

(link to fic)

Fortunately, that line of thought is interrupted as Blue and Orange tap into her remote frequency, chirping for her attention. Poor little idiots. She still sends them on mission after pointless mission down into the catacombs of the old facility, but doesn’t bother monitoring them anymore. The trove of history she’d hoped for is nothing but an empty husk. Most of the old wings are impassable, and they scoured the rest ages ago, finding nothing but outdated files, obsolete experiments, and decades of dusty human junk. But the bots are little better than junk themselves, useless for testing, so she lets them excavate the humans’ trash.

In response they chirp again, which answers exactly nothing. Why did she even give them voiceboxes when they can’t speak anyway? She taps into their visual feed and sees through their eyes as they look up at the old service elevator.

“You want to come back up?” More chirping, but now they nod as well, giving her an actual answer this time. “You know, it would be much easier for me to just disassemble you. Why should I waste my time and energy bringing you back in one piece?”

With this chirp, Orange holds something up for her to see — a cardboard box filled with dusty junk they’ve scavenged from the old offices. At first glance she spots a paperweight, some file folders, three coffee mugs, and a tacky desk toy.

“You’ve brought me more garbage? Is that it?” Orange nods again, entirely too pleased with itself. “Well, you’re not human, so I don’t need to stroke your egos with false praise. But I suppose I could take a look — just because I feel sorry for you,” she adds, as both bots chortle happily. “Go ahead, show me. One at a time.”

Piece by piece they hold each object up to their optics for her to evaluate. First comes the desk toy. They look rather pleased with it, chittering as they press the cat’s little plastic head. On the base is a sticker, which she reads aloud. “I’m Only Human. Only it’s not human. It’s a cat. Maybe its owner was only human, but without context it makes no sense. And even with context, what’s the point of it? Is it a display of the human acknowledging its flaws? It should say, I’m Not Immune to Neurotoxin.” She sighs, already bored of this. “Put it down. It’s garbage.”

Next are the folders, the coffee mugs, the cheap-looking Lucite paperweight. “Garbage, garbage, garbage…” A little ceramic figure of a goggle-eyed fish saying Make Every Day a Splash! “Ugh. Garbage.” A nearly toothless plastic comb. A framed photograph of two little girls and a dog. Some scattered pencils at the bottom, one of which has bite marks in it.

“And garbage,” she finishes, as they drop the last item back in the box. “Congratulations. It’s worthless.” Her view shifts as the bots look dejectedly at the floor. “Next time don’t bother me unless — ”

But something near their feet catches her attention. A loose slip of paper — it must’ve fallen from one of the files they collected. “Pick that up. Let me see it.” Blue bends down to grab the scrap and holds it up to its eye.

To: Gerald Hoffman, Junior Sales Rep From: Stephen Doyle, MD-PhD Date: 4/11/85 Re: Transplant Request Regretfully, I must inform you that your request has been denied. Company health plans no longer cover procedures outside testing; to accept your daughter as a patient, we would require payment up-front for the full cost of treatment, and as we have discussed, the organ cloning process costs far more than your available budget. I will remind you, however, that experimental procedures are free of charge. If you wish to enroll Millicent in the testing program, complete and submit the attached application to Test Subject Processing.

She reads the memo in a fraction of a second. Before the rest of the second has passed, she has an idea.

“Drop the garbage. I have a real job for you.”

[thebloomingsoulss]

A quote of Aaron Warner I live by:

"People are idiots, love. Their opinions are worthless."

[bread-roses-and-chrome]

The Ballad of Riley Coleman (4)

There's this quote I've been hearing around the intranets, lately. Those millions of nodes for isolated, miniscule dissident groups, or punks, or just school friends wanting to skirt the limits between local security legislation and their safety.

That quote's from a man called Bai Jian. Everybody conflicts on the details. Anarchist, Marxist. Chongqing, Guangzhou, Shanghai, Shenzhen. Someone says he's a liberal democrat. Someone else tells them they're a worthless, donkey-shitting idiot, and pull up some time his intranet distri-packages contained some quote from Malatesta or Luxemburg or whatever.

All anyone knows is that it came out on one of the final reports out of China from a spy ring in some provincial committee, somewhere. Before Zhongnanhai, the Party brass, released new disciplinary rules and the Prowler intelligences to back them up across the Net. Before Yang Fenghe became General Secretary, and the Zuzhibu Oligarchy sprang into place.

"Liberty shall not pass unmourned from this Earth. Hope will never leave it."

The last day before my tour ended, before I was rotated back home, that girl and I met for the last time. All we shared was this bottle of cheap wine she'd gotten as a gift from an E.P.A. field worker, from their office Christmas parties a month ago. She asked me what I was gonna do next.

I told her I was gonna find a home. Some decent place to settle down.

She told me she was gonna quit. That she was never gonna stop moving again.

That stayed with me for a while.

How couldn't it?

I wasn't remembered for Ecumene. I wasn't remembered for the eye and the leg I lost. I wasn't remembered from that woman's testimony, even after she was photographed attending some party congress in Ankara. I've heard from her. In bits and snatches. But never direct contact. Intranet security's intranet security.

I was the "Whitehall Intern". That's what the press called me, or that grainy footage of me, when they started rolling out the clips and the controversy. The angry young bastard in the world's most horrendous button-up shirt, just throwing his papers into the air and storming out during this one I.M.O. conference in London. Went viral. Or it was. Before N.A.T.O.'s Internet Security Directive. Before the Western world shut down its riotous net.

I put in my resignation then and there. Started up a little intranet profile. Fled to Barcelona to meet a friend in Catalonia. Booted up a pirate radio station. Fled to Manila to escape the police.

Here I've stayed. Here I'll remain, in the Marches of Asia, they call them. Good luck to the Home Office. Good luck to the boss. No matter how hard they want to search, they'll never find me here. They don't want to, and can't. They've got Edinburgh to fight over and Brussels to bicker with.

They call me Riley Coleman. That isn't the name on my records. Born in 2054, in the shithole that's Manchester, in the civil war-ridden shithole that's still internationally recognized as the United Kingdom. Accidental cyberpunk. Witness of the Chernobyl of the New World. Getting older and older, barely being able to afford my implants and my estrogen and everything else left to me in this world. Going mad from the revelation.

The world doesn't know what I look like, nor do they know the sound of my voice, but they know the feel of my text. As a true dugong pintura should be.

I only know a few things. But I remember much. All I can do is hope, pray, and fight.

Something's brewing down in this country, along the Marches of Asia.

"In this age, of famine, flood and fire."

Previous:

https://www.tumblr.com/bread-roses-and-chrome/740387406355857408/the-ballad-of-riley-coleman-3?source=share

[vollzz]

blackflame characters out of context!

tagged by the wonderful @space-writes, thank you!!! hope y’all are excited about blackflame because I have 20(!!) total chapters in this draft. the chapter names I have right now are placeholders and some are straight up too spoiler-y so there will be some redactions. game rules:

Rules: Include one character quote of your choosing ⁠from each chapter of your WIP (or as many chapters as you'd like). Give absolutely no context, save for what's between two parts of an interrupted sentence, should that occur. You may mention who said it.

I’m not specifying who is talking unless it’s part of the dialogue, so bonus points if you can guess who is saying what!

ready set go quotes are under the cut!

1. business as usual-

“You will forget you saw me here. You will turn around and walk to the other end of the estate before returning. If anyone questions you, say you saw an animal running about.”

2. the meeting-

“Would you believe me if I said I was taking inventory?”

3. eves-

“Perhaps if it was one of the mortal kings across the sea, I would entertain the idea, but Leon is incredibly uninteresting. I can barely stand to be in his presence, let alone seduce him - what is it with mortals and making the most idiotic choice of rulers?”

4. lorien-

“Calliope,” Tedrin crooned, “I can't say I know too much of Eves, but regardless of what your arrangement is, I wonder if we couldn't come to one ourselves.”

5. reunion-

“I’m sorry, if…” Lucas bit his lip. “If you’ve had experiences like that. It’s not right, that these uppity nobles think that just because you’re obnoxiously attractive they can take advantage of you.”

6.[redacted]’s party-

“Well, while I guess I appreciate your staunch defense of your fake fiancée’s honor, I'm asking that you please don’t ruin this outing with another dick measuring contest.”

7. dangerous territory-

“Very mature. I’ll have you know most women recognize the artfulness of the northern accent.”

8. consultation-

“There's every reason, you stupid whore,” James leaned forward, a newfound savageness in his voice, “I have to share Eves with you, some bitch that's traveling with a companion! Clearly they don't know about him, if you're sitting here in one piece.”

9. the heist-

“Agreed. It'll get some of the heat off our backs if we leave the guards be. I trust you to get it done, Calliope, but I will kill them if there's no other choice.”

10. blasphemy-

“So you just… talked all night then, I assume? Giggled to one another under the sheets?”

11. [redacted]-

“How interesting it is to see two little Lovers not ripping each other’s throats out. Is Eves getting bored with just one of you at a time?”

12. truth emerges-

“Spare me the worthless explanation, Calliope. If you truly must break my heart, it is only fair that I break yours in return.”

13. new beginnings-

“Look at you. You’ve barely eaten. You don’t speak, or even cry, or do anything besides sit on the godsdamned floor. Hate me all you want, but I’m not going to watch you shrivel into nothing. We’re going outside. Now.”

14. [hooo boy this one’s really redacted]-

“I do not feel that I can forgive you yet.”

15. [also redacted]-

“I can wipe your existence from this world with barely a thought. I brought your pitiful deity to their knees with as much effort as I expended on you. Be grateful you’re spared the fate that Eves endured at my hand, and perhaps consider that the next time you wish to disrespect me.”

16. [redacted] 2: electric boogaloo-

“To go from such elation to naught but vitriol… Were it not directed at me, I would find it fascinating.”

17. terror-

“I’m so sorry, Cal, I’m so sorry,” Lucas swallowed painfully. “I know you’re afraid. I’m not going to hurt you. We need to get out of here, okay?”

18. [redacted] also I haven’t written this yet lol

19. new destination-

“Pardon the outburst. Now, Calliope dear, if you will excuse me, I must go prostitute myself at Greylin’s insistence.”

20. [extremely redacted]-

“You are certain that Eves spoke of me? They mentioned me by name?”

wow that was a lot thanks for taking a look! I’m going to gently tag @sam-glade @squarebracket-trick and @awleeofficial. but also this one is fun and you get to share a lot for it so open tag too (and make sure you tag me so I can see I wanna read it all!!)

—-

blackflame tag list-

@hallwriteblr @kourumi @space-writes @at-thezenith @careful-fear @theunboundwriter @liv-is @eldritch-flower @kingkendrick7 @poetinprose

[buttercuparry]

The version of Arya this fandom supposedly wants us to "accept", is the one who says: most girls are idiots. Who remains apathetic after carrying out an assassination- that is has no qualms about being an assassin and is happy to just quote sassy one liners and leave the ruling and politics to the supposedly more "proper" Stark.

While my previous post about the ferret queen was just that-me being petty and even the name calling that I am going to do in this post or that I have done previously is the pettiness talking, I would genuinely like to look at this more seriously.

I don't know if the idea that is being subscribed to, that is the idea that indeed the book will have a similar ending or rather the same ending as the show, is because the ferret got her crown: but regardless of that I want to know where exactly did the show and the book converge for them to have a "prediction" about Arya? Was it when the show actively tried to posit Arya as the troublemaker by making her throw food at a banquet? Or making her leave her needlework not because she was once again made to feel worthless by the septa but because she wanted to flex her supposed archery skills on her brother? (This aforementioned skill which has no basis in canon and appeared just so that Arya can sass back to Lem about hitting the target prefectly in the cock, tit and head and have a "sisterly bonding" moment with Ferret 🤢🤢).

Did the supposed prediction come from when perhaps the show, unlike the books saw Arya stabbing away at the table in her (very valid) anger at Joffrey? I seem to remember that in the books Arya felt miserable and all she wanted was to run back to winterfell or to the wall. Is this the 'running away' that is referenced to when the ferret stans have their oh-so-book-compliant meta discussion? Or do they, much like their fave, are impartial to only particular bits of narrative. They say that Arya just wants acceptance as she is and we don't do that. Lmao. The 'acceptance' they think Arya demands from the narrative is one where she is let to go stabby stab stab to her heart's content, be indifferent to any kind of romantic love, talk shit about women, and be a "lone wolf", that is fucking away to nowhere in search for "adventure". By the way I am sure in their mind, this adventure has less to do with any discovery of any kind and more to do with Arya ending up as a sellsword...you cannot convince me otherwise.

Funny thing though, when that ferret Stan said that Arya going on her little boat trip very much parallels our real world history in a certain way, especially when show!Arya turned a xenophobe- I wonder if they realize what it implies for their precious ferret queen?

Anyway back to the discussion at hand. Since the ferret Stans are so canon oriented, do they think this prediction they had for Arya comes from the choice of the name of the direwolf? As in Princess Nymeria sailing from Rhoynar and ending up on the coast of Dorne? Well...they must surely have the reading comprehension to relate that should this be a clue to Arya's future then the only way it comes into play is if Arya, the princess, much like Nymeria, the princess, sails away in search for a new home along with her people. And by people I mean not a handful of westerosis or northmen but more or less the whole of the north to escape some kind of apocalypse. Pretty sure this is not what they supposedly have talked about because then where would their ferret queen end up?In an empty hall :( with only ghosts at her command :( :(

I seem to remember another set of text lines but I am doubtful of them considering these lines. But since they have claimed to be connoisseur of canon, who am I, who as an Arya Stan have so little knowledge on canonical events to question them? Anyway when they said they predicted Arya's journey on the show by reading the books, were they by any chance talking about the lines where Arya got to know about Bran-Rickon's death. Where she said she wants to fly to Winterfell to see for herself if this is true and then fly away and never come back ( unless she wanted to), if her younger brothers truly are dead? I think...I am not sure but I think...I think they forgot to consider the "condition" Arya set herself. Should her brothers much like all other family members are lost to her, only then would she leave Winterfell. I mean it's pretty basic English, maybe this wasn't what was used to "predict" Arya's fate in the show. But umm...there weren't any of these in the show...how strange to use one piece of text to predict what's going to happen in media. Truly it is a talent gifted to few.

I mean show!Arya couldn't wait to go to HoBaW. And here we have book!Arya, telling Jaqen that she can't go with him. She has to look for her mother. To connect these to opposing journey and arriving at a prediction of Arya leaving Westeros is galaxy brained. I wonder if they learnt such deductions from their precious Ferret. Afterall she is a political genius without doing anything really so...🤷🏽

Since we are talking about canon that is the books, and relating it the show, umm...did they by any chance go over the boat scene where Arya tried to pay for the ship to take her to the Wall? I mean this obviously proves she doesn't want anything to do with family. Afterall she didn't even protest when the captain said they are bound to Bravos! Arya is so big and muscly afterall...she should have forced them to take her to the Wall!!

Oh and yeah magic doesn't matter. So all the tidbits where the old gods themselves are guiding her, reaffirming her identity and even sending her boons ( according to Arya) in Braavos is just...irrelevant. After all the critics and literature enthusiasts have minutely gone over the text! Their precious Ferret don't have much going on in that department so of course this means nothing. I mean these are irrelevant when it comes to building winterfell like snow castles ( which got destroyed but hey! That's besides the point). Truly how can we ever be as canonically knowledgeable as them.

[nothingunrealistic]

SACKER: Report signed by Taylor Mason… You were trying to warn the kid about the place they’re working. CONNERTY: Yeah. I think “they” know.

—————

TAYLOR: You came to see me. I thought you were ready. DOUGLAS: To use your “preferred pronouns…” TAYLOR: They’re the ones used by those who respect me. Without the quotes. DOUGLAS: I’m sorry, kid. I’m trying to get there. I missed ya. That’s why I’m here. ——— DOUGLAS: Hey, kid. You know I don’t think that “woke” stuff is all worthless or for idiots just because I’m no good at it. Right? I know it matters. TAYLOR: Right. ——— DOUGLAS: Ah. Don’t listen to me, kid. Just rambling. TAYLOR: Okay. I won’t.

—————

DOUGLAS: Hey, kid, what do you say we keep it clean and go it alone for another round? With you funding the next steps. An additional fourteen million, by my calculations, which you’ll see back fivefold. TAYLOR: Your calculations are inaccurate. And low. And that return is unrealistic.

—————

DOUGLAS: You know what, kid? You are just like me. Only colder. TAYLOR: Yeah. So maybe I’ll actually win.

—————

AXE: And ‘cause I want Taylor back at Axe Capital, working for me. CHUCK: Come again? AXE: They’re the best player I’ve seen in this league in two decades. Real five-tool, you know? CHUCK: Back at the beginning this was advertised as me getting a Wall Street scalp. But now that it’s haircut time, you tell me no. Why don’t you just hire the kid back and stop wasting my fucking time?

—————

AXE: I think it’d be different now. I’m different. You are. We have a concrete goal in mind for you, so there’d be a defined exit. Then you could go do all the positive things that you’re destined for. Won’t be forever. But I think it’d be very, very good for everyone. You and me, together again, kid. TAYLOR: I’ll give it real consideration.

2x11 golden frog time // 4x03 chickentown // 4x06 maximum recreational depth // 4x07 infinite game // 4x12 extreme sandbox // 7x12 admirals fund

[sevicia]

& recently I have been realizing that I feel a lot like a robot not in the way that I am smart or emotionless or anything like that, but that I NEED to be told what to do, how to do it, all in clear instructions with little room for ambiguity when it comes to most things. I have only been able to learn things by myself by observing others and the way they behave and taking mental note of what I see most often to consider it normal so I can repeat it. Yet I still fuck up all the time and it makes me feel stupid and worthless because I just can't do what everyone else does and I don't know WHY and I get so frustrated that I want to cry and kick and scream but I can't do any of that because it's not NORMAL‼️‼️ I just wish I was like everyone else I don't even care about snuffing my "personality" out in the process because it's not like anyone cares or like I'm likeable in the first place or like I'm special in some way, there are literally SO MANY people like me‼️ And I have talked to my therapist about this very lightly because she goes "but what do you consider normal?" and I don't even know how to explain it like?? regular? functioning? not treated like a freak by everyone? not called stupid at every turn? able to do most things with minimal to no help????? HAVING COMMON SENSE?????????

it's the worst because like half the time when I fuck up I get called an idiot and the other half it's like "oh you're always so silly here let me do it for you because I don't think you're capable on your own" which I understand I do I fuck up so much that you don't want to give me another chance I just wish you could trust me!!!! I wish you could believe what I say and not doubt my judgement because you're making ME doubt MYSELF and it's messing me up even further.

it feels comforting and disturbing all at once to always be coddled/have things done for me because I am seen as uncapable. my friends + sister will hold my hand in public spaces because they don't want me to get lost and they regularly call me a baby or say that I'm innocent/harmless/too naive and idk I know their intentions are good but it still feels wrong but I don't know how to argue for the way I feel because they're right, I can barely do anything by and for myself and I don't have the guts to purposefully harm anyone even if I want to

and the fact that I feel I need to defend/have an explanation for every little thing I do is because of this, I am always being questioned on why I do the things I do and it's so stressful because I end up never doing what I really wanna cause I'm scared I won't have an explanation when I get yelled at/questioned. that quote about living a toothless life. me if I had teeth at all