#and I remember sitting there in the pediatric ward

[cookinguptales]

I know this is from a glorified salt advertisement, but you know what, I did need this today.

[landboundstar]

Trade Secrets Part 3

Part 3 of my Batman fanfic. Change of narrator for the next couple parts. A little bit of a time jump, but Bruce, Zatanna, Harvey, and Selina are around 6 or 7.

Trade Secrets

Part 3

I walked into the hospital waiting room and sat with a bottle of water, waiting for Dad to finish talking to one of the donors who had been at the show upstairs in the pediatric unit. 

Bruce looked up from the notebook he was writing in, a math textbook open by his elbow. His face lit up in a smile, and he ran over, wrapping me in a hug.

"What's this?  Worried you're going to forget math?" I couldn't help teasing my friend who remembered everything.

"No, but I do need to turn in my homework on Monday. Is everything okay?" Bruce grabbed my shoulder, looking at me, and I batted at his hand.

"Everything's fine. We had a show in the pediatric ward. One of the donors was up there and stopped Dad after the show. Why are you here?"

"Dad has rounds today."

The door opened and both Dr. Wayne and Dad walked in.

"Do you have the rest of the day free, Gio?"

"I just had the charity show at the hospital on my schedule today."

An hour later, we were having lunch with the Waynes.

"Can I be excused?" I asked.

My dad, midconversation, waved that it was okay. And Bruce and I raced out the side door to the garden.

I was sitting on a rock, watching Bruce hanging upside down by his knees after climbing a tree, when Rachel poked her head out the door. 

"Selina just showed up. I'll tell her you are out here."

"Aren't you going to come out too?" I called back in.

Rachel smiled. "I have piano practice first, but I'll be out after. Don't worry, I'll bring snacks."

Bruce reached up, and flipped himself upright onto the branch with a frown.

"That can't be right. She had dance lessons today."

But Selina ran out the door and hugged both of us seconds later. 

"You had dance lessons." Bruce accused. "You told me you had dance lessons on Saturday." 

Selina grabbed a different tree branch and pulled herself up so that she was sitting on it like a seat.

"I skipped them." Selina smiled down. "Mom decided I should take dance lessons to be a graceful young lady."

I did not know English had a way of pronouncing an eye roll, but you could hear it in Selina's voice.

"I don't think you need any help being graceful." Bruce told her. I had to bite back a laugh because it was true. I could not picture anyone who was more graceful than Selina.

Inside, slow hesitant notes on the piano started to form into a more familiar melody.

Selina tilted her head. "Rachel is doing better. Ode to Joy, right?"

Bruce nodded. "It is now - recognizable." 

Having been visiting with some of Rachel's earlier attempts at the song, I had to agree. Recognizable was a vast improvement from her earlier attempts.

A clanging sound interrupted that thought and I looked up, but could not see anything from my seat on the rock. 

Bruce could see something though.

"Harvey!"

Running over to the side gate by the road, Bruce unlocked it and let his friend in.

"I was going for a walk and saw everyone outside."

Bruce shut the gate, locking it so that it looked like every other piece of wrought iron fence surrounding the Wayne family's garden.

"Good to see you again, Zatanna." Harvey tilted his head at Selina. "I thought you had something today."

"Dance lessons. I didn't feel like dancing."

"But if you were supposed to -",

"Well, if Bruce and you think it is so important, why don't you two dance?"

"What?" 

Selina jumped down and started pacing. "My mother thinks I should learn how to dance to be graceful and make connections as I get older. Your parents go to the same parties my parents do, so why don't you have to learn the same thing?"

"Because I already know how to waltz." Bruce said. "My parents taught me last year."

"Really?" Harvey sounded surprised.

Bruce let out a sigh, but he looked a little hurt. "Why do you think Selina knows how to dance and I don't?"

Then he held out his hand and Harvey moved forward, like for a handshake. 

Instead, Bruce took his head, placing Harvey's hand on his shoulder instead. Then, he put his other hand on Harvey's back.

"You see, when I step back, you step forward."

Notes continued to move from the piano. I thought with a little practice, it might be the Blue Danube, but it had the rhythm of a waltz. Sometimes.

Bruce guided Harvey into a step to the side, then he stepped forward.

And Harvey didn't step back.

Bruce frowned, tapping his friend's shoulder. "No. This time, I step forward and you step back. That's how you waltz."

Harvey blushed, the red creeping all the way up his cheeks. 

Bruce tried to reassure him. "Look, if you need a break, that's fine."

Harvey shook his head. "No, I can do this. So, who moves forward next?"

They manage three shaky waltz turns before the door opened, the faltering piano notes continuing, as a tray came down on the table.

"I see that I'll need to get another glass and some more cookies."

Harvey stepped away from Bruce, still blushing.

Bruce just smiled at Alfred. "Thank you. I should get a drink. Teaching Harvey how to waltz is not as easy as my mother made it look when she taught me."

"It is a skill that comes with practice."

Harvey moved over to the table, looking relieved, probably thinking Bruce would forget about dancing after the snack.

But, even though I might not spend as much time with the three of them, I figured Selina and Harvey knew Bruce could be stubborn, especially when he was trying to make a point.

And Bruce never forgot anything.

[spn-rewrites]

01x18 (part 3)

Season One Episode Eighteen: Something Wicked This Way Comes

catch up here

AN: hey all, the final part of episode 18 is here! let me know what you think, and as always, my ask box is OPEN! if you wanna be added to the taglist to be notified when the next episode is up, leave a comment!

Word Count: 3.8k

Synopsis: dean breaks down, YN is resentful, and a Shtriga is dead

Your leg bounced up and down anxiously waiting for Dean to come back to the hotel. Sam ran his hand through his hair, tugging on the ends in frustration. Your palms began to sweat and you were eager. Eager to put this son of a bitch down once and for all.

Dean burst through the door then and you jumped to your feet, rushing over to him. "What happened?" You can only imagine how Dean reacted when he found out Dr. Hydaker was the Shtriga. You bet that vein on the side of his forehead popped out.

"You know, I can't believe we didn't see this before," Sam said before Dean could answer. You glanced back at him. He was right. How did you not see it? "Doctor is the perfect disguise."

"Did you keep it together?" You ignored Sam and asked the other brother, looking up at him. His eyes softened just a little bit and he nodded his head. He was sweating. You could see the drops slowly making their way down his neck.

"Yeah, I kept it together. Of course, I kept it together."

"Not of course you kept it together, remember when you found out the shapeshifter was the bartender in Denver? You tackled him across the bar," you reminded him. Dean chuckled and rubbed his face with his hand.

"Yeah, yeah. That was a bar, I'm not gonna open fire in a pediatrics ward," he said. You let him pass you and he took off his jacket, throwing it on the bed with force.

"You tackled a shapeshifter over a bar?" Sam asked, suddenly intrigued. You went to the bathroom and grabbed a rag from the hotel closet. Probably a pile of unwashed, unused towels that have been sitting there for ages. You ran it under cold water and when Dean turned back around, you handed it to him. He mumbled "thanks" and dabbed the sweat away before throwing the towel down the same way he threw his jacket.

"That's beside the point," Dean grumbled. "It wouldn't have done any good. The thing is basically bulletproof unless he's chowing down on something. And third," he paused, glancing over at you, "I wasn't packing which is probably a good thing because I probably would have burned a clip in him."

You chuckled softly and he shook his head, glaring at you from across the room. You picked up his sweaty towel and threw it in the bathroom with the rest of the used towels from all the showers you three have been taking. You were surprised you didn't call for housekeeping yet so you made a note to do that. Then, you decided that was futile.

"You're getting wise in your old age," you tease. A small smile played on his lips and then it disappeared.

"I think I know how we're gonna get it," he said.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked. He was leaning against the kitchenette counter, his muscles popping out of his t-shirt. His eyebrows furrowed and before Dean even spoke, you knew what he was going to say.

"The Shtriga works through siblings, right?"

"No," you interrupted. "No."

Dean snapped his head over to you and you felt your breathing catch in your throat. It wasn't often you two disagreed, or argued, or anything, really. You always went along with what he said because he was usually right, but he couldn't be this time. You couldn't do that.

"You think it's gonna go after Michael tonight?" Sam asked. His eyes danced between you and Dean. Neither of you spoke. The silence filled in the dots for the younger brother, anyway. "We gotta get him out of there," he said.

"That'd blow the whole plan, wouldn't it, Dean?" His name all of a sudden felt like tasted like acid coming out of your mouth.

"You wanna use the kid as bait?" Sam sounded just as appalled as you did, and you were grateful that he had your back. It was easier that way. Dean shrugged and looked at his brother, breaking the eye contact with you. "That's completely out of the question, are you insane? No."

"Sam, it's the only way - if this thing disappears, it could be years before we get another chance." Dean's voice was raising and you were glad it wasn't at you but you felt the need to finish the argument that you started.

"He's a kid, Dean. We can't just dangle him in front of that thing like a worm on a hook," you take a few steps forward, inserting yourself into an argument you'd otherwise run away from. The boys yelling at each other always made you want to hide under the covers and disappear.

"Dad didn't send me here to walk away," Dean said through gritted teeth. His face was turning red and there was that vein.

"Send you here? He didn't send you here. He sent us here," Sam said, gesturing between you three. A team. You were a team. You and the boys. When was Dean going to remember that?

"This isn't about either of you," Dean snapped. He turned away from his brother and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm the one that screwed up. There's no telling how many kids have gotten hurt because of me. This is my fault!"

Your lips parted and your mouth fell agape, watching him walk to the window. Your hand wanted to reach out to him but you stopped yourself. "How is that your fault?" You croaked out, your voice barely above a whisper. Too scared to make him crack.

He didn't speak and Sam signed impatiently. You didn't look at him, but you wanted to send him a glare. Tell him to shut up. "Dean, you've been hiding something from the get-go. Since when does Dad bail on a hunt?" Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. "Since when does he let something get away?"

Dean turned around and sat down on the couch and your feet carried you to him. You sat down next to him and put your hand on his shoulder. He didn't immediately brush you away, which was a good sign you thought, so you pushed your luck. "Dean, he's right. You've been acting weird this whole trip. Talk to us," you begged. Talk to me, you thought. You had a pang of resentment for Sam. Dean was never this shut down before Sam came back. You swallowed that feeling and shook it away.

"Fort Douglas, Wisconsin. It was the third night in a crappy room and I was climbing the walls, man. I needed to get some air," Dean started to speak. You could almost feel his heart race speed up as he spoke. "You were sleeping, Sammy, I didn't think - I didn't think that it would come for you. I didn't even know what Dad was hunting, you know? I came back and there it was. I was gonna shoot it, I swear, but Dad came back and he tried to kill it but the thing ran. He just grabbed us and booked after that," he finished.

You always had a soft spot for John Winchester. After all, he did take you in after your mother died. He helped you move past your grief, him and the boys. You knew he was hard on Dean. You always knew that but hearing it made your skin crawl.

"He dropped us off at Pastor Jim's three hours away and by the time he got back to Fort Douglas the thing was gone," Dean added. You squeezed his shoulder and he looked over at you. His eyes were soft and his hand landed on your knee.

"That's not your fault, Dean," you whispered.

He ignored you and kept talking, tears pooling around his eyes. "Dad never spoke about it again. I never asked but he looked at me different, which was worse. You know? Not that I blame him. He gave me an order, and I didn't listen, and I almost got you killed."

"You were just a kid," Sam said from where he stood in the kitchen. When you looked at him, his eyebrows were furrowed. You could see it under his hair that always fell in front of his eyes. He was rubbing his palms on his biceps out of stress.

"Don't. Don't," Dean scolded. He didn't look over at his brother. You wondered if he could even bare it. "Dad knew this was unfinished business for me and he sent me here to finish it."

"But using Michael? I don't know, Dean. What if one of us hides under the covers?" Sam suggested. You sighed and leaned back against the couch, letting your hand fall down off Dean's shoulder. Your fingertips brushed down his back and you could have sworn he shivered. He squeezed your knee and you prayed Sam didn't see. You looked up at him and his eyes were focused elsewhere.

"It won't work. It's gotta get close enough to feed. It'll see us," Dean said. He did have a point and you hated that your heart almost agreed with him. You didn't want to, so you pushed it down. "I don't like it, either. But, it's got to be the kid."

"Fine," you agreed. The words felt foreign coming out of your mouth and Sam looked at you like you were crazy. His eyes went from yours to your lips to your eyes again and then to your knee. "He's right, Sam."

"He's right? There's got to be another way," he argued. You shook your head and your leg started to bounce again and Dean pressed his pam into your skin making you stop.

"There isn't," you said.

+

You decided to leave it up to Dean to convince Michael to help you. It sounded insane if you put yourself in Michael's shoes. Clearly, he thought so, too, because he was holding up the phone in the hotel lobby and threatening to call the police. "You have to believe me, okay?" Dean begged. "This thing came through the window and attacked your brother. I've seen it, I know what it looks like 'cause it attacked my brother once, too." Michael looked between Dean, then Sam, and then you. You nodded your head, hoping it would reassure him, and then he slowly put the phone down.

"This thing - is it like, it has this long black robe?" Michael asked. Your heart jumped. His nose crumbled up in fear.

"You've seen it?" Dean asked, answering his question with his own.

"I thought I was having a nightmare," Michael said, averting his eyes away.

"I'd give anything to not have to tell you this, but sometimes nightmares are real."

"So why are you telling me?" Michael asked. His eyes were glassed over and you were surprised he was reacting so well. You often think back to when you first learned about the monsters under the bed and you weren't nearly this composed. You remember yelling curse words at a Winchester or two.

"Because we need your help," Dean explained.

"My help?"

"We can kill it, the three of us, it's what we do. But we need your help to do it."

"What? No."

"Michael, listen to me, this thing hurt Asher. It's gonna keep hurting kids unless we stop it. Do you understand me?" Dean reminded you of John at that moment. When he would tell Dean what to do on hunts. Sometimes, you were reminiscent of those times. When John was in charge and you felt like a kid and sometimes, when Dean didn't feel the need to protect everyone and everything, he felt like a kid, too.

In the end, Michael said no to helping you. His face scrunched up and a tear fell down his cheek and he told you to get out and this time, you did.

In the hotel room, you wrapped one of the too-thin sheets around your shoulders and plopped yourself down next to Sam in defeat. He couldn't help but chuckle at Dean, who was rightfully upset that he couldn't convince Michael to help. "What did you expect?" Sam asked. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his chest and you happily settled in. "You can't expect an adult to do something like that, much less a kid."

"He has a point, you know," you tell Dean. He looked between you and Sam and you wanted to push him away from you but you didn't.

"So now you're on his side? Pick on, YN."

You were stunned. You straightened your shoulders and Sam's grip tightened. "There are no sides, Dean. We're a team. Teams don't have sides," you snap. Dean let out a sigh and shook his head, turning away from you.

"You're right. I'm sorry," Dean mumbled just as a knock sounded on the door. Dean stiffened, you could see it in his shoulders, and then he answered the door. You could see the blonde hair on Michael's head peaking out from behind Dean. You stood, Sam's arm falling on the bed and you let the blanket drop. He had changed his mind.

"If you kill this thing, will Asher get better?" Michael asked.

Dean glanced back at you before replying, "honestly, we don't know."

"You said you're a big brother?" Michael asked. Dean nodded his head. "You'd take care of your little brother? You'd do anything for him?" You felt Sam's hand grip yours and you let him hold it as Dean nodded his head again. "Me too. I'll help."

+

In the living room of Michael's house, you set up Sam's laptop which was connected to a night vision camera that Dean was installing in the boy's room. Sam sat down next to you, instructing Dean on where exactly to place the camera. You needed to see the window. Michael was tucked in his bed, instructed to stay under the covers and not to move.

"Do you think this is gonna work?" You ask Sam. You can hear Dean giving Michael instructions, telling him about the guns you have strapped in all your jeans. There was John's voice again, coming from Sam's speakers.

"It has to, right?" He replied. You nodded your head and then laid it on Sam's shoulder. You hated this. You felt like it was twisting your insides. The later it got, the worse you felt. 10pm. 11pm. Midnight. It was now 3am and you were starting to question if the Shtriga would even show up and you hoped that Michael was sound asleep.

"You sure these iron rounds are gonna work?" You asked, running your fingertip along the neck of the gun you held in your lap. It was starting to make an indent in your hip, so you took it out. Dean made sure the safety was on before he let you put it on your lap.

"They're consecrated iron rounds," Dean corrected. "And yeah, it's what Dad used last time." His voice was cold and concentrated and when Sam spoke next, his voice was the complete opposite.

"Dean, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You know, I've given you a lot of crap about always following Dad's orders, but I know why you do it," Sam said. Dean groaned and Sam chuckled and you squeezed Sam's hand. It was always about Sam.

The display on the laptop had been the same the entire night, but something moved in the frame that caught Dean's attention, seemingly just in time for the Winchester heart-to-heart. "What is that?" Dean asked, leaning into the screen. You and Sam leaned forward, too. It wasn't the tree branches, although its fingers were thin and gangly like the ones outside of the hotel. As it crept its way to the window sill, you grabbed your gun and the boys grabbed theirs, cocking them. You felt like you had to move as if you were walking on shattered glass. One false move and Dean would be a failure. You couldn't fail. Not for him.

"Now?" Sam asked as the Shtriga loomed over Michael's body. The boy was awake, shaking under the covers. Dean's face was focused and he was waiting for the right moment. He shushed his brother.

"Not yet," he said. The Shtriga needed to be feeding. That was the only way but your intestines twisted once more.

"You guys go, I'll watch the camera, okay? Tell you when," you whispered. Dean nodded, agreeing with your plan and the boys inched off the couch, carefully tip-toeing to the bedroom door. They didn't dare cross the threshold. They didn't dare breathe.

You held onto your gun tightly, watching the camera as if your life depended on it. But it wasn't your life, it was Michael's. It was Asher's. It was all the little kids that may come after if you fail. You focused so hard, so intently, everything around you went black. It felt like you were watching in slow motion. The Shtriga took one step. Two steps. Three steps until its face was inches away from Michael's. Not now. Not now. Not now. It reached for its hood and you waved the boys forward, your feet not far behind.

The guns started going off and you caught a glimpse of Michael rolling under the bed. The shots fired until the Shtriga was on the ground. "Michael, are you okay?" You called when it was quiet.

"Yeah," he called back. A breath you didn't know you were holding, expelled itself from your lungs and your shoulders dropped. You tell him not to move and Dean goes forward to investigate the Shtriga. When it didn't move, his shoulders relaxed.

Something inside you was aching, something was not right. "Dean," you started to tell him but the Shtriga was no longer laying lifeless on the ground, it was going after Dean and you didn't hesitate but to shoot. It barely flinched, throwing Dean across the room and then flying at you and Sam. A scream escaped your lips as Sam threw himself in front of you, the Shtriga wrapping its twig-like fingers around his neck. Sam struggled to reach for his gun and you could've started to shoot. You probably should have started to shoot, but John's voice was in your ears. It has to be feeding, he said. So you waited. You waited until Sam was no longer struggling and the Shtriga was taking his essence and then you called out for it and when it looked up, you shot it right between the eyes.

The Shtriga fell to the ground, for good this time, and you dropped to your knees next to Sam's head. "Are you okay?" You asked. He coughed but gave you a thumbs up anyway and you couldn't help but muster a smile.

"You okay, little brother?" Dean asked as he pushed himself off the floor. Wooden planks from the bookshelf he was tossed into were all around him but he smoothed out his jacket like nothing had happened. You helped Sam up and you smoothed out the pieces of hair that live in front of his eyes and he hugged you. Your whole body shook when Dean put three more bullets into the Shtriga behind your back. "Just for good measure," he said.

Michael peaked his head out from the top of the bed, watching as the three of you tried to catch your breath. "It's ok, Michael. You can come out now," Dean said. The boy stood up and walked over to you but he didn't say anything. There wasn't anything to say. His gratefulness was written on his face.

+

You wanted to wait until Asher was home, but you knew you couldn't linger for that long. After you got some rest, it was time to pack the Impala. You tried to wash off the night before in the shower, but you ran out of normal towels so you slept in your sweat. At sometime in the night, your sweat and Sam's mixed together and you woke up smelling like sex despite not having any. You didn't have any clothes that didn't smell like him.

As fate would have it, the boys' mom pulled into the parking lot as Dean was finishing packing the car. You were surprised to see Michael dart out the front door, but maybe that meant he actually got some sleep after you left. Dean slept on the couch outside of Michael's room last night, dipping out before the sun reached the highest point in the sky.

"How's Ash?" Michael asked his mom.

"He's going to be fine. They can't explain it, but he's going to be fine," she said, a smile plastered to her face. "It's a miracle."

Dean smiled over at you and Sam and you smiled back. You were happy for him, how could you not be?

"They're gonna keep him overnight for observation and then he can come home," she explained as he smoothed down her son's hair.

"That's great," Dean said.

"How are the other kids doing?" You asked.

"Really good," she replied. "A bunch of them should be checking out in a few days. Dr. Travis said the ward is going to be like a ghost town." You let out a sigh of relief, Sam squeezing your arm next to you. You smiled up at him and he bumped his shoulder against yours.

"Dr. Travis? What about Dr. Hydaker?" Dean asked.

"He wasn't in today, must have been sick or something," she told you. In the end, he was right there in front of you all along. You wished you could go back and know from the beginning but when it all turns out okay, those are the good days so you tried not to sit with your regrets.

Michael and his mom headed back to the hospital and you turned around to the passenger side of the car, your hand on the handle waiting for Dean to unlock it. "You know, it's too bad," Sam sighed as he followed you.

"They'll be fine," Dean said.

Sam leaned forward, putting his arms on the hood of the car and he looked over it at his brother. "No, Michael. He'll always know there are things out there in the dark. He'll never be the same." Dean hadn't seemed to consider that thought before and maybe it was because this life, the things in the dark, was all he ever knew.

"Sometimes I wish that I didn't know," you admitted. You never said that aloud before, probably because you weren't sure if you meant it or not. The things that went bump in the night were scary. The hotels were uncomfortable. Sitting in the car for too long was hard on your back. But you had the boys. Wasn't that enough?

"You do?" Dean asked, sharpness in his voice. You shrugged and looked down at your old shoes.

"Sometimes I wish I had that innocence. Don't you?" Sam added. You tapped your toe against his but didn't look up.

"I guess if it means anything, sometimes I wish you both could, too." You looked up now. Dean's eyes were tired and his facial expressions were soft, you wanted to reach out to him but he opened the car door and tucked himself inside, and then the feeling was gone.

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[hansols-yoda-boxers]

Jeon’s Anatomy - Introduction

Neurosurgeon!Wonwoo x Pediatric Surgeon!Female Reader (briefly feat. Seventeen, Nu’est, Pristin, Ateez, Itzy, and Hinapia)

Word Count: 962

Contents: Grey’s Anatomy au, lots of medical talk (including talk of tumours), mentions of foster care 

Note: And I am back with more of this hehe. It’s been a while hasn’t it?

You know you’re a kick ass pediatric surgeon, you have no need to prove it to anyone at all, certainly not the ass who runs the Neuro department. Well until you’re forced to work a case with him, anyway.

Cast | Prequels | Introduction | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Epilogue

“...and you won’t embarrass yourselves, or me. I don’t want to hear any stupid questions, understood?”

You chuckled as you heard the grumbles of junior residents as you neared the corner.

“Yewon is getting them whipped into shape,” Jieqiong giggled, keeping in step with you.

“I remember being a resident with my own group to wrangle and look after,” you reminisced. “And I remember not wanting them to screw up.”

“Were they at least smart?” she asked. “Mine were dumb.”

“They’re all smart,” you replied. “They still have a lot to learn early in residency, and even as fellows,” you smirked. “But even first year interns have some smarts in their brains, or they wouldn’t be here.”

Jieqiong mulled over your words as you rounded the corner.

“If all goes well, you won’t all look like complete idiots today.” Yewon said sternly, her resident’s eyes going wide as they spotted you.

“If all goes well,” you chimed. “You will all learn something today, and leave tonight as better doctors.”

Yewon whipped around, your name falling off her lips and her face blushing deeply. 

“H-How are you this morning?”

“Good, now that I know you have them whipped into shape,” you winked and nudged Yewon who blushed even more deeply as Jieqiong giggled. The residents looked between the three of you, unsure expressions on their faces.

“Alright, I trust you all know who I am, but since I haven’t worked with most of you yet, names.”

You listened and did your best to memorize as the five residents listed off their names, Kyla Massie, Shin Ryujin, Lee Chaeryeong, Kim Bada and Shin Yuna. 

“Welcome to the pediatric ward,” you said brightly, starting down the hall as the residents followed you quickly. “Things are a little different here than the rest of the hospital. We’re dealing with kids.”

You turned to face the group outside a room. “Kids who believe in magic and fairy tales, and very scared parents who understand the realities of what their children are going through. Some people think we’re just working on smaller humans but there's a lot more to it than that. This is a lot harder than it looks.”

The residents all had hesitant looks on their faces and you gave them a reassuring smile. “You will all be fine. Let’s get started shall we?”

You led the group into the room where a tiny, excitable six year old was sitting on the bed with a tube in her nose. She smiled at you brightly and reached out for a hug as Ryujin started to present her case. You only gave half your attention to the presentation, the other half on the small girl bouncing beside you and tugging on your sleeve.

“Psst,” she whispered.

“Yes?” You chuckled.

“The nurses gave me paper and I drew you a picture!”

“You did! Well now I want to see it,” you smiled. She pulled out the picture and showed you the drawings of her dogs happily until your pager buzzed.

“Does that mean you gotta go help someone?” She asked.

“It does,” you hummed. “But I’ll come back and check on you later okay?”

She tugged you closer and whispered to you. “Can you bring me a lollipop next time? Just don’t tell mommy cuz she said candy is bad for my tummy.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” you chuckled before standing up fully and leaving the room with the residents.

“Yewon, cover the rest of rounds. Jieqiong we’re needed in the pit.” You said. “The rest of you, I’ll be back up as soon as I can, impress Yewon because she will tell me who did the best job later.”

You bid your goodbyes and hurried to the elevator, Jieqiong in tow. She searched through her tablet as you led the way to the ER.

“Were we called for a consult?” She asked.

“I was, but I have a feeling I’ll want an extra set of hands.”

“A feeling?” She questioned.

You shrugged. “After a while sometimes you just get a feeling that a certain case will be a lot.”

Jieqiong mulled that over as you led the way through the ER and to the bed. Jongho was standing next to the bed and he perked up when you saw him, your eyes travelling from him to the girl in the bed. She had to be around 10 or so and her arms were all bruised, she had bandages wrapped around her arm and she looked up at you curiously. Her parents stood off to the side nervously.

“We know how this looks,” Her mom was quick to speak up before you had managed to say a word. “We- With all the bruises we know but it’s not what it looks like-”

“I’m clumsy!” The girl said brightly. “I’m Eunbin!”

You waved at her as her dad spoke. “She is,” he chuckled, seeming a little anxious. “She gets hurt a lot.”

“Well it looks like you’re all patched up,” you smiled at Eunbin. “Dr. Choi, mind going over her chart with me?” Jongho nodded and followed you while Jieqiong talked with Eunbin and her parents.

“Why did you pull me away from rounds, Choi?” You asked seriously.

“I mean the bruises-”

“You know how to call CPS on your own, what do you think is going on?”

“They-” Choi took a deep breath. “I don’t think the parents are giving the whole history, o-or they don’t know it. They’re foster parents so they might not know her whole past but I think something else is going on here. I-I think we should order an MRI. They said she’s clumsy and gets hurt, has trouble walking these days.”

“You’re thinking tumour,” you said.

Jongho nodded. “I’m thinking tumour.”

[atozfic]

"room for more" (a fake fic title)

and just like the last time i done this writing prompt thing,,, i've given myself a new wip.

pairing: park seonghwa x reader | genre: single parent au, widower!seonghwa, nurse!reader | warnings: mentions of death, angst, fluff | description: in the midst of trying to come to terms with his wife's passing, young widower park seonghwa struggles to juggle the ups and downs of work life, the pity filled looks of every pta meeting and a social life he's failing to nurture. stranded in an ocean filled with his own sorrows, his only hope for staying a float and fighting off the sharks comes in the form of a clumsy, accident prone five year old boy who shares the same smile as him. with trips to the pediatric ward more or less routine, the widower soon finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew about life and love with the arrival of a new nurse.

"are you nervous?"

"no!"

a foolish claim he could remember making a few nights before, a near insignificant exchange between himself and yunho in between the shots and the yelling and the accusations made by wooyoung towards mingi that he was cheating the game when, in reality, he was just a better card player than the smaller male.

he was nervous, is nervous, and it's growing with every breath he pulls, every glance he takes in the mirror, every giggle he hears escaping yonghwa.

it increases tenfold when he takes over for san, feeling it's his duty to tie his son's own tie, a pretty shade of lilac to match the dress your niece will be wearing. he manages to keep his feelings intact, wrapping the fabric delicately while ignoring the cramp beginning in his left knee from crouching down to the little boy's eye level. but the nerves begin to take over when he goes to do his own tie, hands a shaky mess and failing miserably to do it.

"dad, let me!"

yonghwa knocks his hands out the way with is own smaller ones, while all seonghwa can focus on the fact that he'd done it again, called him dad instead of dada or daddy, and his heart breaks as much as it fills with joy at the idea of his little boy growing up, memories of how he'd recently begun to tie his own shoelaces before school and set his own place at the dining table coming to the forefront and bringing a fresh set of tears to seonghwa's eyes.

but the little boy wipes them away, like his dad- his dada- had done for him so many times in their years together, the years where it was just them two, one learning to live without his other half and the other learning to live in general.

they'd never have to be like that again, two.

the tears dry by the time he takes his place on the altar but the shake in his hands stays the same, and it feels like the whole room can see it. his mother definitely notices it, the way she'd squeezes him against her and whispers words of encouragement giving it away.

his eyes well up again as he spots a certain couple in the crowd, one he'd known was coming but still shocked them nonetheless. yonghwa's grandparents, her parents, sitting front row with the proudest of smiles on their faces, a melancholy reminder to how they'd looked the last time he'd stood at an altar with shaky hands.

he knows, right then and there, that he has their full blessing. a blessing to be happy, to be loved, to be someone else's husband.

"i don't think i can," he remembers uttering the words in their kitchen, yonghwa tucked away in bed upstairs while the grown ups continued to commemorate the woman they'd all lost years ago. "it's too soon... it's not fair on yonghwa, or her, or you two..."

"seonghwa." her mother spoke sternly, even though her hands captured his own in a tender hold, thumb stroking over his knuckles like her daughter always done to soother him. "this isn't about us, or her, or even yonghwa. this is about you. she wouldn't want you to live like this, she'd want you to find and feel all the love that this life has to offer for you."

but seonghwa didn't think there was room for more love in his life, not after she'd taken such a large part of him with her into the afterlife, leaving him with half a heart and an infant who'd never feel his mother's touch or hear her voice.

"besides, it's just a date. what's the worst that could happen?"

the tears start up again when the ceremony begins, friends from his life before and friends that had been brought into his life by you descending down the aisle in matching dresses and suits, bouquets in hand and smiles on faces.

yonghwa helps your niece down the aisle, the boy a little taller than her and more stable on his feet, a gentleness in the way he holds her hand, one he'd learnt from his father.

and then everyone rises from their seat, the musicians begin to play a tune he'd heard once before, just in a different key, and the shake travels from his hands down to his legs, which wobble slightly and threaten to send him tumbling down the steps.

the shaking, the nerves, the tears all come to a halt the second you appear at the door, eyes sparkling under the light of the chandelier. your father stands by your side and there's a bouquet in your hands, a mixture of lillies and peonys so similar to the one he'd given you on your first date.

you smile and it's only instinct for him to smile back.

you take your first step down the aisle and, for a moment, he closes his eyes and pictures her and her own wedding dress and her own smile. it's a memory he'll never erase, one he'll never want to forget or replace, one of the happiest days in his life.

when he opens his eyes and sees you again, he no longer feels guilt at the thought of having another happiest day in his life, at making memories with you and yonghwa and any other heart that may join his family.

clenching and uncleching his fists at his side, he reminds himself over and over to not say those damned five words this time around.

till death do us part.

for he wants not even death to part him from your side.

send me a writing prompt ask! ( 7/20 slots taken )

[mysticalrambling]

Love Eventually Wins (A.B) Part 2

(Part 1)

Andy Barber Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

Summary: dad! Andy Barber x female reader. You juggle in the hospital between your dad and your son. You haven't forgiven Andy for what he said to you but you guys talk it out in the end and it's all eventual fluff.

._._._._.

“Dad, you are going to be fine. We are all going to wait for you after the surgery.” Gently kissing your father on your head, you held back your tears because you didn’t want him to back down from his decision. You just prayed to God that this operation would be successful because you had already lost your mother to a car accident when you were four, so it was just you, Julie and your dad. You could not afford to lose another family member and you wanted Gabriel to know his grandfather when he grows up.

“Okay, sweetie. Will see you after.” He looked so pale and sickly just lying on that uncomfortable hospital bed. Silently kissing him on the forehead, the nurses took him away to the operation theatre.

When you got out of the room, your little sister immediately took you in a bone crushing hug and started sobbing uncontrollably. “It’s all going to be okay, Julie.” You tried to console her but there wasn’t much you could say to convince her when you yourself were worried.

After about half an hour, you finally got her to quiet down and then went to check up on your son in the pediatric ward. The receptionist pointed you towards a NICU ward that kept babies from the age of six months to two years and you didn’t know why he was admitted in to the hospital so you internally freaked out on the way there.

“Hi. The doctor said that Gabriel had some kind of stomach infection so they will have him on IV drips and antibiotics for two days.” Andy explained it to you as soon as you entered the room and went to your son’s crib. He was in the crib in a small hospital gown and God, you hated this sight. Touching his forehead, you realised that his temperature was higher than when it was at home.

“His fever is way too high right now.” Looking at your husband, you felt so helpless because your father and your son were sick and you didn’t know what to do.

“The doc said that it will return back to normal in no time.” Andy was observing you from the moment you entered the hospital room. Puffy eyes, rosy cheeks and a tear stained face was a completely new look for you. He wanted to be there for you but he knew that you had still not forgiven him. It was not easy to forget the things that he said, even if he didn’t mean it.

“Oh okay. I am just going to sit here with him.”

“I will bring you some coffee because you haven’t eaten since morning.”

“Non-”

“Non filtered, without sugar. I know.” He lightly kissed you on the forehead but was slightly hurt when you didn’t give him a smile like you always did. He could feel a wall separating the two of you and the only thing that he wants is to tear that wall down. Why could he not keep his mouth shut and let you talk? Everything would have been alright then.

“Hey, baby. I need you to be fine really fast, okay. Mommy needs you to get through all of this and I love you so much.” Gripping on to his little hand, you gently rest your head against the crib. The nurse came after sometime and you asked her is she could stay with Gabriel for sometime. Everything was too much for you and you just needed to vent it all out in private.

“Hi. Where is my wife?”

“She said she needed some fresh air.”

“Okay, I am just leaving the coffee here. You are going to stay with him, right?”

You were just looking at the stars and remembering the time when you spent countless college nights with Andy on the rooftop, just staring at the stars. It quickly became your thing and now you were sitting here all alone. A few tears escaped you when you remembered all the things that your husband said. It was still too much to comprehend.

“Please, don’t cry. I am truly sorry for all the things that I said.” Sitting next to you on the bench, he didn’t have the power to look you in the eyes. He was too embarrassed. It was his job to let no harm come to you but now he was the one who is causing the harm. He just wanted someone to beat the crap out of him and punish him for making you feel unworthy.

“I know you said that you didn’t mean a word of it but I know that’s not true. I know you better than you know yourself.” You looked at him from under your eyelashes and saw a look of realisation cross his face. Andy thought that he could just hide it from you because of all the things that you have been going through. He sometimes did forget that if he could easily read you then you could do the same.

“So the district attorney has been telling me that I am not doing my job properly because I am a family man now. I am too distracted on my job and the last case, the witness didn’t show up and Jacqueline just laid it out on me. She even gave my next big case to Carter and I just lost it on you. I am so sorry.”

Tears welled up in his eyes when he realised how innocent you were in this whole situation and he had no right to make you feel so bad about yourself. He didn’t dare move his face away from the stars and you knew the guilt was eating him up inside.

“Hey, look at me.” Gently placing your hands on his bearded face, you made him look at you. “I was being genuine when I said that you can take a break from us. I won’t mind.”

“No, I don’t. It was all said out in anger and you don’t know how sorry I am. Please don’t think like that because you are my whole world.” His heart was tearing up in pieces and you were the only one who could fix it.

“Okay but what about Jacqueline then?”

“I will take care of her. She can not just assume that I would be the same Andy after having my own family to look out for. You don’t worry about anything.”

“Okay.” Kissing him under the stars was your favorite pass time and you wouldn’t change it for the world. “Let’s go check up on our baby right now.”

“No, you go to your sister because your dad is going to be out of surgery in sometime and you should be with her. I will check on Gabriel and then come to you.”

“Let’s check on Gabe together because I won’t stop worrying until then. God, I just want this day to end already.” Hand in hand, you got up from the bench and went to meet your son.

Gabriel was slightly waking up by the time you entered his room and you immediately went to pick him up. Keeping in mind to not touch his iv drip, you cradled him to your chest. Your heart ached for your baby boy because he was always the one to cause trouble and never sit still in one place. “Mommy, hurts.” A whimper escaped him and he clutched on to your shirt with his tiny fists.

“It’s going to be okay.” He looked so small in your arms and you were barely holding yourself together because you didn’t want your son to cry after seeing you.

“Give him to me.” Andy carefully took him from you and tried rocking him back to sleep. By now, he was full on crying and trying to take his bandage off. Your husband took Gabriel’s hand in his hold but the kid did not quiet down for one second. You tried to give him his lion pacifier and he just turned his head the other way round. The doctor came in when he heard the commotion and quickly inserted some sedatives in to his IV drips.

He told you both that Gabriel would be alright in a few days and he will stay with him so that you both can go check up on your father. Gabriel was going to sleep for some hours so it was okay for you guys to stay with your dad until then.

“The doctor said that the surgery went well and we can see him after they transfer him to ICU.” Your sister filled you in as soon as she saw you both walking down the corridor. Ecstatic, you hugged Andy tightly and believed for the first time in all night that everything is going to be okay.

“I love you.” You whispered affectionately in to his ears.

“I love you too.” Kissing you softly, he tried to express his love with his actions.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: Here's part 2. I loved watching Defending Jacob so I came up with this plot. Andy Barber has my whole heart and I hope you guys liked it. Tell me what you think and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Like, comment and reblog.

Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur, @fantasywriter104, @justile

._._._._.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Strangers (Part 2)

Summary: A month after meeting Dr. Winchester, the reader finds herself back in the hospital and her new boyfriend is not happy to see her there...

Masterlist

Pairing: Doctor!Dean x patient!reader

Word Count: 2,100ish

Warnings: language, crazy-ex boyfriend, mention of surgery/injury

A/N: I hope you enjoy!

_____

One Month Later

“Hello,” said a familiar voice as they walked around the curtain with a chart. “I’m Dr...sweetheart?”

“Dr. Sweetheart, huh?” you giggled, wincing a bit. Dean immediately looked down at your chart and was frowning. “What are you doing down in the ER?”

“Slow day upstairs which I always consider a good thing. Helping out,” he said.

“Hello, Dean,” said your mom, getting up and giving him a hug. 

“Hi Alice,” said Dean as he returned it, pouting at you. “You’re experiencing stomach pains?”

“Yeah. My parents freaked out cause you know, still a new digestive system,” you said, closing your eyes. “Living with your parents as an adult is just awesome.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked, lifting up your shirt and pressing his hand around.

“Cause you’d worry. You’re a worrier boyfriend, Dean,” you said. 

“Alice, could you go over to the main station and tell them Dr. Winchester would like to see Dr. Mace for an emergency consult on Y/N? He’ll remember her,” said Dean.

“Of course,” she said, up and out of her chair like that. Dean pressed down gently over the scar on your stomach and glanced at you.

“Boyfriend huh. I haven’t heard that yet,” he said.

“It’s been a month and the fact that you have been totally cool with having dates at my parents house with me tells me it’ll be very difficult to get rid of you,” you said. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“I don’t mind at all. You had a major surgery. You need to rest and have someone take care of you, sassy,” he said, pressing down on your right side. Your hand caught his wrist and glared at him. He pressed down more gently and you hissed. “Alright. Good news or bad news.”

“Bad news.”

“Good news is your transplant is fine,” he said.

“I said bad news first.”

“I know,” he smirked. “Bad news, your appendix is taking it’s swan song. They probably should have taken it during your first surgery but it wasn’t bothering anything then so they saw no need. I’m gonna have Dr. Mace look you over while I get you booked in the OR. My buddy Donna is on general surgeries today. She’s great. You’ll love her.”

“We gotta find a better way of me meeting your friends than surgery. Maybe like a party,” you laughed. He took a seat on the edge of the bed and smiled. “How much is this gonna set me back?”

“About a week, a little less. I know you’re tired of getting carved up like a turkey.”

“It’s cool. I’d rather have it out if it’s not working anymore,” you said. “I was supposed to start looking at new apartments with my mom this afternoon.”

“Where were you looking?” he asked.

“East Manor.”

“I’m in there, one of the townhouses. It’s a really good place,” he said. “I’ve never had any problems.”

“Oh, that’s nice to hear. I loved my old place but I can’t stay there. It’s too, you know...”

“I understand,” he said, a doctor coming over and grabbing his shoulder.

“I have a torso impalement on a ten year old. I need you in ER 2 now,” said the other guy.

“Shit,” said Dean. “I gotta go sweetheart. You’re gonna be just fine. I might have to miss our date tonight.”

“S’good. Go to work, babe,” you said. He gave you a kiss on the cheek and ran off with the other doctor just as your mom came back over. She smirked as she sat back in her chair. “What?”

“You know the whole bleach thing might be a blessing in disguise,” she said.

“Ma. I almost died.”

“I know but you didn’t,” she said. “Plus he’s a doctor. Even dad likes him and he was ready to have you never date again.”

“Mom. I’m an adult,” you said. “One crazy ex doesn’t mean all guys are like that.”

“Where’d he run off to anyways?” she asked.

“Gonna go try and save a kid,” you said. “Fingers crossed. I’m fine, bad appendix is all.”

“Well fingers crossed for you too. We could do with some good luck around here.”

One Week Later

“Hey,” you said, an exhausted looking Dean answering his front door. 

“Hey,” he said, rubbing his face off. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I wanted to go out for a drive and I know you’ve been working like crazy on all the surgeries for that kid. I wanted to stop by and see if you needed anything,” you said. 

“Y/N, come on, you’re still recovering. You ought to be at home in bed,” he said.

“I’m perfectly fine to drive. Let me make you some dinner quick before you crash for bed yourself,” you said. 

“I’m only saying yes because the thought of making something to eat makes me want to cry right now,” he said. “I’m so fucking tired.”

“Then let me in and I will take care of you for a change, boyfriend,” you said. He moved aside and he showed you past the living area to the kitchen. 

“That’s the pantry,” he said, pointing at a cupboard.

“Alright. I will find you something really yummy to make and in the meantime, go shower and sleep. I’ll wake you up when it’s done.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” he said.

“That’s more your department than mine,” you said. “Go on, I got this.”

You let him nap for an hour, Dean tired but better looking when he wandered out of his room into the kitchen in a pair of sweats and a henley.

“I ever mention how perfect you are?” he asked as he sat down in front of a giant plate of food.

“No but it’s appreciated,” you said. “I haven’t cooked in forever.”

“It smells great,” he said, rubbing his eye. “I don’t know if this kid is gonna make it or not. So much was damaged or destroyed.”

“What number surgery will tomorrow be?” you asked.

“Seven,” he said, starting to eat. You didn’t ask anymore questions and let him eat quietly, eventually Dean pushing the empty plate away. “I’m stuffed.”

“Now back to bed with you,” you said, helping him to his feet.

“I could get used to this being bossed around by you thing,” he smirked.

“In your dreams, Winchester. I’ll lock up after myself,” you said.

“Y/N,” he said as you started to leave. You turned around and he had this gentle look on his face. “Thanks, for coming over tonight. My day wasn’t great. You always seem to make it better somehow.”

“As long as you try your best, that’s all you can ever do. Get some sleep, Dean.”

“You too, sweetheart.”

The Next Night

“Hi,” you said as Dean walked up the driveway at your parents house. You were sitting on the front porch in the big chair reading a book. He was in his scrubs and a hoodie, not saying a word until he sat beside you and rested his head on your shoulder. “Did you lose him?”

“Almost. His system was so wrecked it was killing him. We had to gut him. I just did my first pediatric liver and kidney transplant,” he said. “Mace assisted me. It’s gonna be rough but the kid’s gonna pull through.”

“That’s great,” you said, giving him a hug. He hummed and shut his eyes. “You happy?”

“Yeah. After the girl last month, I needed this,” he said.

“Well you don’t always have to save a life to have a good day,” you laughed. He snuggled into your side and your shirt rode up some, revealing part of your scar. “Dean. Back at the hospital when I asked about my scar...did you mean that?”

“This?” he asked, lightly grazing his finger over the pink skin. A shiver ran up your spine and he smiled. “I may be biased but to me, scars are pretty cool. It means you’re a survivor. What you went through...most people don’t walk away from that and even then, most don’t walk away happy. If I were you, I would be terrified of so much.”

“You save children’s lives. You work in fear every single day. I don’t think you’d have one problem in my shoes.”

“I was prepared for that though. I knew what I went to school for and what I was trained for, for years and years. You though...nothing prepares you for someone you trust to hurt you like that,” he said.

“I don’t want to live my life afraid I suppose,” you said. “I trust you. You make me feel safe. He was one bad person and he’s away forever in a mental ward. Plus I got you. Wasn’t all bad.”

“How are you so...half-glass full?” he asked, sitting up but sticking close to your side. “I want to be more like that.”

“I wasn’t always. When you flirt with death like I did, the fact part of me refused so adamantly to give up when it would have been the easy thing to do...it’s really hard not to think of that as the worst thing I’ve ever gone through because honestly, it is. It sucked. I remember the pain and all of it. But compared to that extreme, the rest of my life is amazing. My appendix went bad? So what. That was nothing compared to my surgery before. My badass pediatric surgeon boyfriend is having a bad day? I can cook him a home cooked meal, even if it made me a bit tired myself. He showed me kindness time and time again. He never once complained about how there’s been a certain lack of privacy or intimacy so far with us. He’s not complained about the time my new medication made me throw up the dinner he’d cook me. He sat with me while I was freaking out that I’d just torn open my stomach or something by doing that. He explains all the medical questions my parents have in an easy to understand way. Dean, talk to Mace. I was not a happy camper when I woke up with some other guy’s digestive system in me. Someone else dying is the only thing that kept me alive. That’s incredibly difficult to deal with. But if I got through that, I can get through most anything I think. Also you are very cute so that helps.”

“Thanks,” he laughed quietly. “You’ still different though. I’ve met a lot of inspiring people and kids and all that. You just...you’re different. You asked if I was okay. Strangers don’t do that really.”

“I don’t like when you’re not okay,” you said with a shrug.

“Do me a favor. Next time you’re at a hospital, it’s just cause you’re visiting me on my lunch?” he asked.

“I will do my very best,” you said. You kissed him and he returned it, his finger tracing over your scar lightly. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“Not one bit. Let’s try to not get any new ones for a while though?” he asked.

“I would be more than happy to,” you said. As you sat, a light rain began to come down and Dean tucked his feet up underneath himself. 

“You want to stay over my place tonight?” he asked. “I got the next few days off.”

“Yeah. I’d love to,” you said. “I uh, I’m not…” 

“I just want you to stay over is all. I can be a gentleman,” he chuckled.

“You don’t have to be a gentleman gentleman,” you laughed. “I’m not on anything at all right now though and I’d prefer to wait until I was. There’s plenty of other things though.”

“There are,” he said, a coy smirk crossing his lips briefly. “Tonight I want to have a quiet night with you if that’s alright.”

“More than,” you said. “Let me pack a bag. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Sounds good to me, sweetheart.”

_________

A/N: Read Part 3 here!

[jobrookekarev]

My Sweet Joy, Always Remember Me

Chapter one of one 

Words: 8715

Summary: In the midst of quarantine, Levi convinces Jo to download Tik Tok, and she quickly becomes addicted. So when a certain trend comes around, Jo couldn't pass up the opportunity to poke fun at the man who left her. Back in Kansas, one of Alex's teenage patients shows him the video of Jo and Luna, and he instantly goes back to Seattle to meet the girl he assumes is his daughter, only to find that Jo has another surprise in store for him.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson.

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Levi Schmitt, Luna Ashton, Izzie Stevens (Mentioned), Eli Stevens (Mentioned), and Alexis Stevens (Mentioned).

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences.

Additional Tags: Angst and Fluff, Babies, Pregnancy, Tik Tok, The Intimacy of napping together, Rated T for swearing.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: Did I write a fic about a Tik Tok? Yes. Do I regret it? Absolutely not! Link to the Tik Tok this is based on: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMebyxQeQ/

A big thank you to the jolex group chat for once again distracting me from what I should be writing with ideas of what I could be writing. They supplied some of the lines and ideas for this story, and I am thankful for all of their help and support. 

……………………………………………………………………

It was a slow June day on the Pediatric Ward at the Children's Hospital where Alex worked in Kansas City. Ever since the pandemic, things had slowed down, although he still had his regular surgical patients. 

“Hey Marco,” Alex said, coming into the room of the teenage patient. He had assisted in a leg amputation due to cancer on the kid a few days ago and was eager to see how he was progressing.

“Hey, Dr. Alex, do you have Tik Tok?” Marco asked as he still looked at his phone but even bothered to glance at Alex as those little clips of music played.

“Nope,” Alex said as he checked over the kid’s vitals and pulled the bandage back to look at the incision. “Everything looks good. Are you having any pain?”

“Not really, you guys got me on the good stuff,” Marco replied, giving him a nod as his mask hid his smile, and Alex could tell that he was a little bit out of it. “Okay, but you have got to see this one. I think it's you?”

Alex's eyebrows came together. He didn't know anybody in his life that would make a Tik Tok of him. Except maybe Zola, but according to Meredith, she mostly just made dance videos. Nonetheless, he went over to Marco’s bedside and waited for him to pull up the video expecting to see Zola. Alex was, however, surprised when a video of him and Jo popped up. 

“I'll never forget you,” the artist sang over the video. “They said we'd never make it.” 

The video was of the two of them on their wedding day as they kissed and then turned to the crowd, all smiles, and the little caption read. “To the man who left me in a letter, thanks for the gift.”

The video changed and suddenly, it was a video of Jo sitting in a rocker in the loft holding a baby. She smiled at the camera before tilting it down to the baby in her arms, who looked up at the camera with newborn colored big blue eyes from where she was swaddled in a pink blanket. 

“My sweet joy, always remember me.” 

“Sorry, man,” Marco said, having read the expression on Alex's face. “The videos are funny but, it's a sucky way to find out you got a kid.”

Alex just stood there in shock as the video replayed again before he grabbed the phone. He waited for the video of her and the baby to play again before he paused it. He couldn't believe it. Jo had their daughter. She must have been pregnant when he left. Jo had gone through a pregnancy, and high-risk preterm labor, and now she was taking care of a medically fragile preemie, their preemie baby girl, all alone. All because he had made the dumbass decision to move to Kansas without even talking to her. Because he had left, Jo and their daughter were alone. 

Their preemie daughter. The baby girl didn't look very big, she was definitely a preemie, and she was still on supplemental oxygen with oxygen cannula tubes in her nose. His mind filled with the possibilities of any health complications their daughter could’ve had, from brain bleeds, lung issues, hip dysplasia, or congestive heart failure, and so on.  

Why didn’t Meredith tell him? Although, they hadn’t spoken since he left. Of all the people he thought would tell him if he had a daughter, Meredith was at the top of his list. He understood why Jo didn't want to tell him, although the fact that she didn't still hurt. The fact that Meredith, his best friend in the world, didn't tell him that he had a daughter, hurt even more. A sense of karma came over him as he wondered if this was how Jo felt when she found out about the twins.

He let the video reply again and stopped it on Jo and the baby. Jo was dressed in a tie-dye T-shirt with her hair thrown up in a bun. She looked tired but happy as she showed off the baby in her arms. Alex thought she was absolutely beautiful, as beautiful as she looked the day he said goodbye to her. 

He remembered what she looked like when he turned back to look at her, one last time, after he made it through security. Her dark hair was flowing over her shoulders in beautiful waves, and she had a gorgeous smile on her face. She excitedly waved to him and blew him a kiss before the crowd surrounded him, and she disappeared from his view. The image of her smile as she blew him a kiss had replayed in his mind over and over again the past six months. 

He just stared at the photo of her for a couple of minutes as the ache in his heart consumed him. He had a heartache, a longing for her since he left, and he had carried it around every day. He missed her more than he had ever missed anyone. He missed her more than words could describe. He missed her more than anything else in this world and every day, he fought the urge to go back to her. 

Now he had a reason to go back because she had had their daughter. Their beautiful, wonderful little girl. She already looked a little bit like Alexis with her little tuffs of blond hair. Alex couldn't stop staring at them in the video. He tried to quickly do the math, he had left six months ago so, but she must have been pregnant before then, although the baby looked small, about 5 lb or so. It was June now, so Jo had to have gotten pregnant in November or October. Maybe she knew before he left, maybe she didn’t. They were so focused on arranging the witnesses for Meredith’s trial, and he was so busy working at Pac North before he left. Some days he barely saw her except for when he crawled into bed. 

That was the thing that he regretted most, that he didn't spend enough time with her, which was why, the week after Meredith’s trial, before he left, he spent as much time with Jo as he could. He visited her on her lunch breaks, he was there when she got home, he made dinner with her, and watched TV with her on the couch, and he made love to her every night. At the time, he had lied and said it was so he could spend as much time with her before he went to visit his mom, but he wanted one last perfect week with her before he broke both of their hearts. The memories of that week, of Jo’s beautiful smile, were something he thought fondly of as he slept alone in his one-bedroom apartment.

“Can I have my phone back now? I can send you the video if you want?” Marco said as his words brought Alex out of his head.

“Umm yeah,” Alex said as he handed the phone back to Marco, still in shock at the fact that he and Jo had a daughter. “Please send that to me.”

He was absolutely floored at the fact that Jo had had their baby, as Marco sent him the video. Alex quickly clicked on it and downloaded the app as his feet carried him out of the room. As he waited for the app to download, he wondered if Jo had posted any other videos. As he found a quiet spot in the halls, the app loaded, and he clicked the link and followed the icon to Jo's page. There he was greeted with a handful of videos. Some of them were of Jo dancing with Levi or by herself, but there were one or two videos of their daughter. 

One was of their daughter, which was a series of photos to the song, you're my sunshine. The photos started off when the baby was in the incubator, looking no bigger than his hand, and Alex guessed that she was about 26 weeks old. Alex looked over every photo, every video of the little girl. He was so distracted by the photos and the videos of the baby that he almost ran into a nurse. Alex quickly apologized before he came out of his daze. 

He had to go back to Seattle. He had to see Jo and their daughter. He had to be there for them. He had missed so much of her life already, including Jo’s pregnancy and her first breath, her first days of life, and he was filled with guilt and regret. Alex ran over to the lounge to get his things, cleaning out his locker while he quickly called the chief of surgery and quit on the spot. Alex hated this job anyway, he loved the kids, and he wanted to make sure that his patients, including Marco, were okay, but he needed to go home. 

Alex rushed over to the apartment he had in Kansas City. He had been staying there since the start of the pandemic. He and Izzie had agreed that since he was still working in direct contact with patients at the hospital, he would move out and get a separate apartment as they didn't want to risk transmitting this to the kids. Izzie had stayed home with the twins as with her job in oncology, she could do mostly remote consults, with only having to go on to the clinic on an as-needed basis with covid negative patients. Alex had been video chatting with them every single night and had distance visits with them at the park every Saturday and Sunday. Although, he had been considering getting his own place since before the pandemic started. He thought that he could make it work with Izzie, but the two of them were never in love. 

It only made his homesickness all that much harder, and the urge to go back to Seattle all that much larger. The one thing Alex had realized during this pandemic was that he didn't have to be in Kansas to be a good dad to his kids. He could see them part-time and visit them on the weekend, and he could do that from Seattle. Lord knows he was rich enough to fly out every weekend. He had made up his mind as he packed up his car with everything he would need to move back to Seattle. Alex got in his car, setting his GPS for the address of the loft in Seattle. As he drove past the endless crop fields, he smiled in anticipation of soon seeing their daughter and his wife, it never did feel right to call her his ex-wife.

……………………………………………………………………

Going back to Seattle was like coming home. Everything was so familiar in Seattle, whereas everything had been so foreign in Kansas, even though he had been there for months. The drive over to the Loft was just muscle memory as he allowed himself to enjoy his surroundings. The thought of seeing Jo and his daughter filled him with excitement, despite how he knew that Jo may not be happy to see him. He hoped that she would at least let him meet his daughter, and then maybe they could work out a schedule where he could see her. 

As he pulled up to the Loft, he couldn't help but sigh in relief. He was home. For the first time since he left, he was home. He had stopped back at the hospital and had tested negative before he left for Seattle as he knew with a medically fragile child, he would have to be extra careful. Still, he grabbed a mask and hoped that he would at least get to hold her. 

He ran into the apartment complex and took the stairs two at a time up to the metal gate that led to the laundry room. It was locked, as usual, so he used his key but stopped in front of the familiar red door. He paused and knocked because although it had once been his home, it wasn't anymore, and Jo earned as much privacy as she wanted. Alex heard wrestling and footsteps with muffled voices until the door slid open, but instead of Jo on the other side, he was greeted with Schmitt in a grey mask. 

“Oh boy,” Levi said, before he turned around, and Alex followed his gaze until his eyes landed on Jo holding their baby. 

For a second, he froze as he stared at her. There she was, standing before him, no longer a memory but real. She looked better than the photos and videos he had seen, even as she looked tired with her hair up in a messy bun. She was wearing his grey Iowa Hawkeyes t-shirt, which definitely had spit up on it despite the burp cloth thrown over her shoulder. 

The little girl was dressed in a blue onesie with pink flowers and green leaves, and she had a matching bow on her head. She also had the oxygen cannula tubs taped to her cheeks and had the heart and oxygen saturation monitor wires trailing down to the floor. Jo’s lips were parted as she stared at him. Alex wanted to take a step forward, to go to her, to see their baby in her arms with his own eyes, but he kept his feet planted in the entryway as he just stared at them. The girl that was possibly his daughter and his wife.

As he thought about it more and more throughout the long drive from Kansas to Seattle, he questioned whether this baby was truly his. However, the video was pretty damning evidence. Then again, Jo had always had such a soft spot for the little orphan NICU babies, and sometimes he joked about her adopting one, so maybe she finally did. Somewhere in Montana, he thought about turning around and going back or just calling Meredith and demanding an answer, but he couldn't bear the thought of going back to Kansas. He knew he belonged in Seattle, regardless of whether she had Jo or a daughter.

“Is she, is she mine?” Alex asked, finally finding his voice. 

“No,” Jo said with a shake of her head as she looked over at Levi. He went back over to her and she quickly transferred the baby into his arms. Alex was confused at first until Jo pulled up the T-shirt to reveal her rounded pregnant stomach. “But this one is.” 

……………………………………………………………………

From the moment Jo laid eyes on Alex, all she could do was stare at him. She felt relief that he was finally home. He was finally going to meet the child growing inside of her. He would be there for her and for their child. Alex was finally home. Yet, the relief and excitement faded as reality set in. She felt so betrayed because he had left without a single thought to her, nor the child growing inside her.

He seemed to stare at her as she handed Luna off to Levi. She put a hand on her belly as she felt her baby kick again. From the moment she laid eyes on Alex, the baby had done flip flops inside of her as if they could sense that their father was near. 

Alex still seemed to be in shock, but so was she. Jo didn't even know why he would assume that Luna was his. Nor why he didn't already know she was pregnant, especially after she had left so many calls, voicemails, and text that had gone unanswered. He was back, but only for their child, not for her. Yet, seeing as they were one in the same for now, Jo knew that she owed it to her child to allow their father into their life.

“We should talk,” Jo said as she finally let her shirt drop before she walked towards Alex.

 Alex just nodded as he continued to stare at her. His eyes flashed between her face and her belly, looking at her and their unborn child. He finally seemed to come back to reality and looked around the room, his eyes glancing at Levi and Luna. 

“Is this a good place to talk? I tested negative before I left, and I drove straight here from Kansas. I haven't seen anyone since I left two days ago,” Alex seemed so unsure and so worried as he looked at her. It was so strange to see it on the man she knew was always so confident even while groveling with her.

“I can take Luna for a drive, it might help her fall asleep anyway?” Levi offered, already moving around. He gathered Luna’s things to transfer her oxygen to the portable tank they kept in a backpack by the door and placed her in the car seat.

Jo knew the loft had changed so much since he had left. It looked so different yet still the same where his weights used to be there was now a twin bed set up with a dresser and a few other things as Levi had moved in. Where the dining room was, there was now a crib, a dresser with a changing station, and a rocking chair where his lounger used to be. Next to a rocket-shaped shelf, a rocketship carpet completed the space themed Nursery that Jo had set up for Luna and their baby. 

Alex seemed to watch her every move as Jo helped Levi get Luna in the car seat and send her off with a kiss and a wave. Levi gave her one last look, but Jo just gave him a nod before he closed the door behind him. She had been so thankful to have him around. Even in the midst of covid with everything else they all had going on in their lives. Between being pregnant and adopting Luna, he, Meredith, and Link had all been there for her. Jo had still felt so lonely because the one person that was supposed to be there wasn't. 

She put a hand on her stomach as she felt the baby do flip flops inside of her, so she rubbed up and down. It always seemed to calm the anxious baby inside of her. Alex took a step forward, and his hand moved as if he wanted to reach out and touch her, but then his hand quickly dropped, and he just looked down at the floor. She wanted him to feel their baby, but she could tell that he was hesitant to touch her again.

Jo went over to the couch, their couch. The one that she bought for him, that they had spent countless nights on together. She fell in love with him on this couch, she made love to him on this couch, hell she was pretty sure they made the baby on this couch. She sat down on one end and moved away the pile of Luna’s laundry and the extra pillows and blankets to create a space for both of them. She wasn’t sure she was ready to have him so close, but it was just instinct and habit and the love she would always have for him. Jo patted the spot she made for him next to her as he slowly made his way over to her.

He still seemed to be a little weary, and she could tell that he was nervous as he sat down next to her, and looked at her bump. “How far along are you?” 

Jo knew he was asking just to be sure, but she guessed that he had already done the math in his head. “24 weeks as of yesterday.” 

“Are you, are they, are you both healthy?” Alex asked as he rubbed his hands up and down his pant legs as he tried to find something to do with his restless hands.

“Yeah, we're both fine, she’s measuring big, but Carina says we've got the dates right. She looked perfect at the 20-week anatomy scan and at the ultrasound I had a few days ago,” Jo said with a nod as she continued to rub her belly up and down.

“She, it's a girl?” Alex asked, catching her words as he looked up at her with a little bit of a smile.

“Yeah,” Jo said, watching his smile as his eyes seemed to light up. “It's a girl.” 

Alex looked so happy and his eyes were bright as he laughed. It was the expression she imagined he would have when she told him she was pregnant. She was happy to see how excited he was for their daughter. He reached out again and put his hand on her belly. She remembered the way that he pulled her in for their first kiss and the shock of electricity between them. It had been pulling them together ever since. She felt that shock now and she knew Alex felt it too as he looked up and briefly caught her eye before he looked down at his hands again. His hands on her body for the first time in six months were an instant comfort. She immediately relaxed as she moved his hand to where the baby was kicking. As his hand settled, his thumb absentmindedly rubbed her belly and Jo relaxed further back into the couch. 

“Hi baby girl, it's your Daddy. I'm so excited to meet you,” Alex said, letting out a little laugh as she kicked his hand and he leaned down to kiss her belly without even a second thought.

This was how it was meant to be, the two of them, together for this pregnancy. For a moment, Jo pretended that he had never left.

“She's strong like you,” Alex said, looking up at her as the baby continued to kick his hand. “And like Alexis too. She'll climb anything and she runs all over the farm.”

At the mention of his children, Jo immediately froze up. She didn't resent them, but they were the reason why he left. They were a constant reminder that she was in this alone. Alex felt the tension in her body as his thumb stopped moving and he looked up at her. 

“Jo, I know I left, and I'm sorry…”

“No,” Jo said, instantly getting up and putting some space between them. “You don't get to do that. You don't get to try and walk it all back with I'm sorry. You left me, Alex.”

The tears instantly spring into her eyes as she began to cry, and her breath hitched as she tried to inhale. She just felt so broken, so hurt by everything that he did. Alex just looked up at her with his big puppy dog eyes. He gave her the same eyes in the front yard of Amelia and Owen's house all those years ago after he assaulted Deluca. She knows that he had grown up again since then, but after what he did, she doesn't know how things could ever go back to how they were before.

“After everything we've been through, after you promised me again and again, every day that we were together, that you would never leave and then you left!” Jo said, her voice rising as she yelled at him. “You left me pregnant, and alone, and scared. I called your mom and I knew that you weren't in Iowa. You didn't return any of my calls or my texts. You didn't even text Meredith back. I thought you were dead or that worse, that you were cheating on me, and then to find out that you were cheating, it broke me, Alex! But I couldn't let it break me because I was pregnant, and I had to keep it together for our child, and I did. You left and I, I carried on. I went to work, I went to my doctor's appointment, I built a nursery, and I got support from our friends, but not from you. I did everything without you. I am so furious at you for leaving. I am so hurt that you cheated on me. I am so broken because you left. You ignored me and you ignored our daughter. I am more hurt for them than I am for myself because they didn't ask for any of this. I get you leaving to be with your kids, but you had a kid here with me, and you ignored her. I sent you texts and photos and calls and emails, I sent you a freaking letter Alex, and you just ignored all of it!”

“What? Wait, Jo, hold up,” Alex said, standing up and shaking his head as he closed his eyes. “What phone calls, what letters, what texts, I haven't heard from you in months. The last text I got from you was a week after I left asking me if I was okay and how my mom was doing?”

Jo paused, gently wiping away her tears as she just stared at him as confused as he was. There was no way he was lying to her. He looked so genuine and Jo knew that regardless, Alex would never lie to her. She knew him almost as well as she knew herself. Alex Karev was many things, but he wasn't a liar. He dropped everything to be there for his and Izzy's kids and she knew he would never ignore his daughter with her.

“When you stopped returning my calls, I got worried.  As soon as I found out that I was pregnant, I called you, and when you didn't pick up, I sent you a photo of the pregnancy test and then later of the ultrasound photo.  I left you voicemail after voicemail, and I kept texting you, right up until I got your letter and the divorce papers, back in early February. I sent them back to you with a letter telling you that I was pregnant. When you didn't reply, I thought, I don't know.”

“Jo, I swear to you I never got any of your phone calls or your texts, or the letter, look, check my phone if you don't believe me,” Alex said, as he looked at her holding his phone out to her and she knew without having to see it, he was telling the truth. 

Regardless, Jo took the phone and opened it up. The lock screen was a picture of Alexis and Eli. She paused as she stared at them. She had never seen a photo of them before, but the second she did, she knew they were Alex’s kids. Eli was the spitting image of his father and Alexis had his eyes and his smile. They were so beautiful, and she knew that he had instantly fallen in love with them the moment he had seen them because she fell a little bit in love with them too. The two little mini Karevs staring up at her were absolutely adorable and innocent in all this.

Jo put in the password that was still the same and quickly scrolled through his text until she found her name. Sure enough, there was the text that she had sent months ago, asking about Helen, and then nothing. She clicked on the little sidebar and quickly discovered the reason why.

“You blocked me,” Jo said, crossing her arms as she handed the phone back to him.

“What? Alex asked, his eyebrow shot up in surprise as he looked at the phone. “I swear I didn't.”

“If not you, then who? Your other ex-wife or your current wife or girlfriend or whatever the hell she is to you,” Jo couldn't help the malice in her voice and the hatred she had for the woman who had torn them apart with her actions. She was so angry at them both, but especially Alex as he was her husband, and he had made the choice to cheat on her.

“Izzie, fuck,” Alex said as he turned away from her and let out a cry of frustration. “I knew it was weird when I hadn't heard from you. She said it was for the best, but I knew, I knew you wouldn't just stop texting me, but then I thought that maybe you figured it out already, and I don't know.”

He clenched his jaw and looked like he wanted to throw or kick something. Jo grabbed one of Luna’s stuffed animals from the couch and held it out to him. He looked back at her with soft eyes as they both remembered when they used to throw things at the wall together. That memory seemed like a lifetime ago. Alex grabbed the toy and threw it against the wall. It made a satisfying clunk as it hit the metal doors of the cabinet. Alex let out a heavy sigh, having gotten all his frustration out before he sat back down on the couch.

“I tried to teach that technique to Eli and Alexis, but Izzie blew up on me for it. She said it would teach them to be violent and throw things, but honestly, it's the only thing that ever calmed me down. You were the only one who understood my anger,” Alex said as he looked over at her before shaking his head and looking away. “This whole situation it's so messed up. It was all a mistake.”

Jo looked down at the situation in her belly as her baby kicked her hand again. This whole thing was a mess. She didn't want to put Alex in the same position that Izzie had, having to choose between the life that he loved and his responsibilities to his child.

“Look, Alex, we’re fine. We're both doing fine without you. When you left, I stepped up and I figured out how to do this on my own. I've done everything alone, and you know what, I'm pretty damn good at it. So good that when I fell in love with Luna, I didn't even think twice about applying to adopt her and becoming her foster mom. I'm good on my own. I can raise our daughter without you.”

“But you don't have to, Jo. I want to be there for you and for our daughter, for all of it, I want to be on the phone with you for all your appointments, and I want you to hold my hand while you're in labor and screaming at me for knocking you up. I want to be there for our daughter's first breath and when she starts walking and talking. From her first day of school to when she graduates and goes off to college and every sleepless night in between. I want to be there for you and for her,” Alex said as he pleaded with her, all but begging on his knees for her. “I am so sorry, Jo. I swear to God, I didn't know that you were pregnant. The other day this kid showed me this Tik Tok of you and Luna with a photo of me saying that I was her father. That's why I thought she was mine.”

Jo couldn't help the smile as she let out a little laugh and shook her head. “ I downloaded Tik Tok during the pandemic and kind of got hooked. I thought it would just be a funny video for our friends and I don't know. I guess a part of me did think that you would find it, or at least I hoped that you would.”

“If I had known and if I had seen your messages, I would have never....” Alex trailed off as he shook his head, looking down, still ashamed. 

“Would you have left?” Jo asked, her voice just a whisper. She knew the answer, but she needed him to say it.

“Leaving Seattle was the worst mistake I've ever made,” Alex said, looking up with her voice and his eyes full of such hurt. “I love my kids, I do, but Kansas isn't my home. Izzie and I, we. I didn’t sleep with her while we were married, I want you to know that. However, once we were divorced, I did try to start a relationship with her, but we were so different she didn't get it. She didn’t get me, not like you do.”

As Alex talked just looked up at her, his eyes full of longing as he got up and came over to her. They were so close that Jo could smell the familiar scent of his cologne and she could see the sparks of gold in his eyes. Her body involuntarily relaxed as he got closer. She longed for him too. All she wanted was to be in his arms again, to wrap her own arms around his neck, to hold him and have him hold her. However, the distance they created between them kept them apart.

“And now, with the pandemic, I barely see them.” Alex continued with a shrug. “I live in a crappy one-bedroom apartment in Kansas City and it sucks. Izzie stays home with them and I only see them through video calls. They meet me at the park on the weekends, even then we stay six apart and they miss me, but they're okay without me. I'm not okay without you and I know you're not okay without me either.”

It's a bold statement, but they both know it’s the truth. Jo felt the tears collect in her eyes again as Alex mirrored her expression, looking about two seconds away from falling apart as well. Just the acknowledgment that she needs him, that he needs her, and that they need each other, was overwhelming. 

“I never wanted to do this without you. Every time we talked about kids, I was so terrified, but I knew that I could do it if I had you by my side. When you left, I realized that I could do this regardless, but I don't want to do it alone. I don't want to do any of this without you.”

Jo dissolved into a mess of tears as they streamed down her face. Alex took a quick step forward and he wrapped his arms around her as she truly fell apart. She fell apart in Alex's arms and buried her head in his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body and feeling his lips against her head. His arms instantly wrapped around her waist and it was everything she had wanted for the past six months. It was in that moment she realized that Alex was truly back. She cried even harder, especially as she felt his chest shake under her as his body was wracked with sobs of his own. 

Alex pulled her over to the couch and she sat on his lap as he wrapped his arms around her. They just sat together and cried. Eventually, they cried themselves out and just sat together in silence. Jo curled her fingers into his shirts and pressed her forehead against his shoulder. Alex ran his fingers through her hair like he always used to do as his other hand rested on her belly, feeling their baby move under his hand. She inhaled the sweet scent of his cologne and felt completely surrounded by him. For the first time and six months, Jo felt like she could breathe again.

Everything was how it was always supposed to be. Even if it was just for a moment, it was like a spell had been cast upon them, freezing them in time and allowing them to have just this moment together. Between being pregnant and having a newborn, Jo was exhausted, and she knew Alex hadn't slept since he left Kansas. They both fell asleep in each other's arms on their couch, truly resting for the first time in six months.

They must have slept for a few hours as by the time they woke up, the sun was low on the horizon, streaming golden beams in through the windows. For a moment, Jo pushed away the harsh memories as she woke up in Alex's arms. She pressed her nose into his neck and he seemed to forget it too as he laid a kiss on her forehead. They heard the door squeak open and finally got up. Jo could feel Levi’s eyes on them, but he didn't say anything about it. 

“So we went for a little car ride, but she took a nap. Then after she woke up, I took her to the park, and we just watched the birds and sat on the grass and hung out,” Levi said as he lifted Luna out of her car seat and Jo greeted her girl. “I had some ice cream, and Luna had her bottle. She ate about 3 oz and then proceeded to spit up all over me.” 

“Oh did you have fun with Uncle Levi at the park,” Jo cooed at Luna as she held her close and pressed a kiss to her little head before inhaling her sweet baby scent.

Levi moved to transfer Lunas oxygen tubes back to her machine. They kept Luna’s oxygen machine next to the couch on the side of her nursery as the 25 ft. oxygen tubes allow them to move around her nursery, the living room, and even into the kitchen.

“Let me help,” Alex said as he stepped forward and quietly helped Levi set up the machine. 

After they started a machine and sure that it was working, Levi escaped to the bathroom. He gave them one more look before he disappeared and turned on the fan as if to give them added privacy. 

Luna seemed content as Jo smiled down at her oldest girl. Of all the hurt she’d had in the past six months, Luna had been a wonderful bright spot. Jo couldn't help but fall in love with her, especially after Val died. Jo felt the need to step up and take care of her. Besides, she couldn't imagine sending her into the foster care system, so she had started the process of adopting her. The baby in her belly made her a mother, but Luna made her a mom. She made Jo realize that she could do this, but as she looked over at Alex, she knew she didn't have to do this alone.

Alex leaned against the couch as he watched them with curiosity. As Jo turned around to look at him, he smiled at the little girl in her arms. She walked over to him as he tentatively stepped closer before Jo transferred Luna into his arms. 

“Alex, this is Luna, my little liver baby,” Jo said, smiling down at Luna with such affection as she rubbed her thumb over Luna’s cheek. “She grew on the liver of a patient that came into the ER. I operated on her mom, Val, and Carina delivered her. When Val didn't make it, I decided to adopt her. It was kind of impulsive, but I just looked at her, and I knew that she was mine. She came home with me a few weeks ago. She loves the little star mobile that I hung above her crib, and she only falls asleep to the Twinkle Twinkle Little Star song. She hates bath time and loves snuggles, so I babywear her all the time. I talked to her, and she just stares at me, but I know that she’s listening. I love her so much and she's just, she’s perfect.”

Alex just stared at her, taking in her words with a large smile before he looked down at Luna. She waved her arms up at him, reaching out for him as he reached down to grab her finger and shook her little hand. “It's nice to meet you, Miss. Luna. I'm Alex, I'm your Sissy's dad, but I look forward to getting to know you as well.”

“Autumn, I was thinking of calling her Autumn, Attie for short, since I'm due in October,” Jo said, putting a hand on her belly and feeling her baby kick again.

“Autumn, that sounds perfect, and I guess I owe you full naming rights,” Alex said as he smiled back at her before looking down at Luna again and sticking his tongue out at her as she cooed. 

There was something about seeing Alex with her daughter that was just so perfect, and After everything that had happened today, Jo found herself falling back in love with him again. It was one of the reasons why she fell in love with him in the first place because he was so good with the kids, and he was kind to her after he found out about her past. He was gentle, and kind, and understanding throughout this whole thing. He never once blamed her or tried the force his way back into her life. He just wanted to be there for her and his daughter. He was the Alex that she had fallen in love with. Although she knew, he was still the Alex that had left her. 

Luna fussed and began to cry as Jo stepped forward to take her back. She waved her arms around and reached up and pulled out her oxygen cannulas as Jo cursed. 

“How well does she do off oxygen?” Alex said, quickly moving to put the tubes back in her nose as he looked over at her oxygenation monitor. He swayed back and forth as Luna continued to fuss and throw her arms around. 

“Okay, for about 20 minutes or so. She had a branchial cyst, so they had to resect part of her lung. Hayes thinks she’ll have to be on oxygen for a few more months or so,” Jo said as she went over to Luna’s dresser where she kept all of her medical equipment and grabbed the extra tape and things so they could redo the tape. 

Alex set her down on the bed as Jo came back over. They worked together as Alex used the wipe to remove the stickiness for the existing tape while Jo held Luna’s arms to keep her from pulling it out again. Alex put the nose part in Luna’s nostrils before he gently taped down both sides of the tubes on her cheeks, and Jo adjusted the tubes positions. It wasn’t the first time they had redone an oxygen cannula together, and they worked as a team so effortlessly. It was the same way that they used to work together at the hospital. 

As they finished, Jo picked up Luna and bounced her as she calmed down. With Luna now calm and content, Jo set her in the bassinet at the end of her bed. She just looked at him and felt a pull to him as she took a step towards him. Alex’s lips parted as she pressed up against him, as close as she could with her baby bump in between them. She reached out to put her hand on his cheek as he closed his eyes and tilted his head into her hand. She knew that he missed her touch as much as she missed him. Jo couldn’t help but wrap her arms around him as she leaned in for a kiss. They deepened the kiss as he wrapped his arm around her, and Jo moaned into his lips. Alex eagerly pressed his lips against her, and it was like coming home. Nothing about the Loft, or the hospital, or anything in Seattle had felt like home since Alex left, but his lips, they felt like home. 

They didn't break apart until they heard the squeaky door to the bathroom open again as Levi appeared. Jo turned around and pressed her fingers to her lips as if it would keep the kiss on her skin. She glanced over at Levi as he looked between them and instantly read their body language. For someone who could never figure out if a guy liked him back, Levi sure as hell read Alex and Jo like a book. 

“So I'm guessing you're back,” Levi asked, raising his eyebrows and looking between the two of them. “Does that mean you're staying here? Do I have to move out? Like I know I could move in with Taryn if I needed to, but we're in the middle of a pandemic and her roommate is really mean!”

Jo wasn't sure as she looked over at Alex, who just shrugged. “It's up to you, whatever you're comfortable with. I can get a hotel room or maybe stay with Meredith?”

“Well, I guess you can stay. Besides, I need someone to send out at 2:00 in the morning when I get a craving for burgers or when Luna runs out of diapers, but maybe you should sleep on the couch for now,” Jo said as she bit her lip as she looked over at him, but Alex just nodded. 

Alex moved around the apartments as if he had never left as he began to make dinner for them. Jo picked up Luna again and sat down in the rocking chair in her nursery space as Levi started to help Alex relearn where everything was after he had organized the fridge. An easy banter started up between the three of them and Jo put a hand on her belly as Autumn started to do flip-flops again while Luna was the opposite as her eyes fluttered close. Jo held one of her daughters in her arms as she put her hand on her belly where her other daughter was. She looked up at her ex-husband and baby daddy as he made dinner with her gay best friend and little brother. It was the weirdest family dynamics she had ever had, but she was content. 

……………………………………………………………………

Later that night, Jo stared up at the skylights. She had just gotten Luna back down after a bottle, and now she was trying to return to sleep herself. Yet, sleep evaded her and part of that was due to Autumn doing flips in her belly. She was currently swimming around like a little fish and keeping Jo up as they pressed against her organs. Jo took a deep breath, which quickly turned into a yawn before she realized she had to use the restroom. Her quick trip to the toilet only made Autumn more active. Jo sighed as she laid back down and she rubbed her belly up and down. This usually helped to calm Attie down, but tonight she must have felt particularly acrobatic as she moved around. Jo wasn't sure what she did, but suddenly, she felt a twinge of pain in her stomach as Autumn kicked her, hard. 

“Aw fuck,” Jo swore as she rubbed her hand against her lower abdomen. 

“Jo, you alright?” 

She jumped and sat up as she looked over to see Alex sitting up on the couch. “Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. It's just the baby moving around and she kicked a little too hard. I'm not used to having to be quiet as Levi usually puts earplugs in at night, and Luna will sleep through anything.”

To her surprise, Alex just chuckled as he got up and came over to her, sitting next to her on the bed and putting his hands on her belly. “Hey, Attie, you be nice to your mom, yeah?” 

Instantly the kicks in her belly became softer as Attie quieted down. Jo raised her eyebrows in surprise as she looked up at him. Throughout her pregnancy, no one had been able to get her to calm down so quickly. 

“Wow, I can't believe that worked,” Jo said as Alex smiled, he pulled his hand away, but Attie’s kicking started up again, and she got Jo good in her kidneys as she cringed and held her side. “Or not.”

“Lay back,” Alex instructed as she complied and laid back down as he adopted that adorable grumpy look that she loved so much. He put his hands back on her belly and leaned forward to whisper to Autumn. “Hey you, I thought we agreed that you were going to be nice to your mom? It's been a long day, and she agreed to let my sorry ass stay with her. I think the least that you and I can do is let her get some rest.”

Instantly Attie calmed down to the sound of her father's voice and Alex looked up at her. He seemed so proud that he had gotten his daughter to calm down and looked up at her with a smile. 

“Thank you,” Jo whispered, letting out a breath of relief.

“No problem, besides, it's the least I can do as I’m part of the reason why she's kicking you,” Alex said, as a soft look appeared on his face and he just seemed to stare at her for a moment. 

She could tell that he was head over heels in love with her. She used to catch him with that look when she was on his service as an intern, and it was that same look he gave her when she met him at the end of the day when he worked at Pac North. It was the look he had given her all throughout their relationship and even on the day he left. After he walked through security, he turned around and gave her that look before he paused and waved at her before he disappeared into the crowd. Jo remembered that day like it was yesterday, just as she remembered the hurt of the letter that was still fresh in her heart. 

After a moment, Alex got up again, but the second his hands left her belly, Autumn started up again, and Jo scrunched up her face, and she beckoned for him to come back. He instantly came back and put his hands on her belly. Once again, Autumn calmed back down as her hard kicks and flips became light flutters in her belly.

 Jo let out a sigh as she reached out to grab his hand and gave it a squeeze. “Could you stay?”

“Are you sure?” Alex asked as he tilted his head just a little bit. 

Jo just nodded because the truth was that she wasn't sure that she should let Alex back into her bed, but he seemed to be the only thing that calmed down their daughter. He crawled in bed behind her like he had done when they were together. As he moved back to his spot in the bed and laid behind her before he wrapped his arms around her to rest on her bump. She had missed being held by him like this. They were never one for cuddling, but she liked knowing that he was right there next to her. She missed the way that he used to roll over in the middle of the night and hold her close just for a moment. 

Attie seemed to have calmed down for the night and Jo closed her eyes. Jo didn't know where they would go from there, but she trusted that he wasn’t going anywhere. She knew she shouldn't trust Alex again, but somehow she did. She always knew that he would be a good father and that it would be one of his best traits. He left her to be with his children, but a part of her knew that he wouldn't leave her child and, by extension, her. Jo would always allow Alex to love their daughter.

Alex seemed a little hesitant, but eventually, she felt him relax against her as he pressed a kissed her cheek just like he used to. Jo both loved it and hated it, as she felt a mixture of hurt and love for him right now. It wasn't something that she was unfamiliar with when she was with him. She knew there was still hurt and the need for healing, but the love was always there, and she wanted that love for her daughter. So she let him stay and fell asleep in his arms.

……………………………………………………………………

AN: This is absolutely just a one-shot, so don’t ask for a sequel.

[illyaana]

4 to 10 - Sugawara Koushi

credits to @kvsagi for the Suga art!

Tags: Timeskip! Sick Suga x Doctor! Reader, No Specific Gender for Reader, Angst

Synopsis: Suga has been diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis ever since he was 18, a few days after he graduated from high school. He works as an author in the hospital room he currently lives in. When he was 26, you entered the hospital as an official resident doctor and you were assigned to him.

In the beginning, it was just wheezing. After serving a ball to the ace, Suga just needed a few minutes to breathe air back into his system - nothing else.

It slowly became long nights of consistent coughing. It was just a dust allergy - nothing more. Almost all his family members had it - his allergic reactions were just stronger.

It became shorter hours of practice and any forms of exercise. His lungs were just weaker than the rest of the team's. It didn't mean that he was not as skilled as them - he just had to work more efficiently - more success, less time.

Then came the first lung infection.

Then the next.

Then the next.

Then the next.

It was no longer something he could just write off anymore.

Then came the tests; one sweat test and one genetic test.

The next time people saw him, he carried a bag connected to a tube that was in his nose.

He could still live his life normally - he just needed regular checkups. The only thing he needed to do was keep his distance, keep clean and not mess up.

That's all he needed to do, right?

The attacks got worse and worse.

His lungs became so fragile the slightest amount of dust or germ could kill him.

If he wanted to live, he needed to live in the hospital.

Until his clock stopped working, he needed to stay in the white walls of the Hospital of Tokyo forever - and that is what he did.

For the next 8 years of his life, he stayed in the hospital as a 'permanent resident' and lived peacefully.

His life consisted of college online, eating, studying, cleaning his lungs, talking with the other 'permanent residents' or just 'guests', playing with kids in the pediatric ward and sleep.

That was his life - and he didn't hate it.

He soon graduated from college and university and became an author - a well-known one, may I add.

He still talked to his friends from high school - Daichi and Asahi being common visitors with the occasional visit from Kageyama and Hinata.

This was his life until his life ended.

But all that changed when you came into the hospital for the first time.

Sugawara was never one to eye at the doctors or the nurses in the hospital - he believed that it was irrational and very wrong. Yet, you somehow changed his mind almost instantly.

He couldn't muster the bravery to even welcome you on your first day by himself, despite everyone who knew him literally pushing him to do so.

He begged all of the nurses to introduce him to you, but they all wanted him to do it by himself.

"Staring at our newest doctor, huh?" said Sugawara's doctor, Hizashi Yamada from behind him.

"You want me to introduce you to them?" He asked, smiling deviously.

Soon, Suga's doctor brought him to meet you, despite all of Suga's resistance to it.

"Hello, Y/N-sensei. Welcome to the Hospital of Tokyo. It is a pleasure to have someone so well-versed in our hospital as a permanent doctor," said Hizashi-sensei.

He placed his hand out, only for you to shake it. "No need for the praises, Yamada-sensei. The fact you recognized me is a privilege itself."

"This," Yamada-sensei pulled Suga forward, "Is Sugawara Koushi. He has been admitted to our hospital ever since he was eighteen."

Suga blushed furiously.

He wasn't ready to meet you up close so quickly. He wanted to admire you from afar for at least another two more days so that he could learn about your interests, but fate wasn't on his side this time.

Not to mention, you were a doctor, too! One of the younger ones, too... and hotter...

Suga awoke from his daze when he saw your gloved hand reach out to his to give him a handshake. "Pleasure to meet you, Sugawara-san. I believe you are an author? My sister loves your books!"

Suga was internally thanking Daichi for telling him to become an author.

Suga raised his hand to meet yours in a handshake. "The pleasure is all mine."

"As you both know, I am retiring this year," Yamada-sensei said, making both you and Suga face him.

"I've discussed with the board. Y/N-sensei, you'll be in charge of Suga starting tomorrow. I will send all the information about his condition soon," He ended off with a smile.

Wait - you were in charge of him?

Suga was shaking even more now.

It would no longer be Yamada-sensei seeing the uglier side of him but the very person he was developing a crush on.

"Fate works in mysterious ways, huh?" you said, breaking Suga's train of thought.

"I guess it was good I met you today then, Sugawara-san," you ended with a cheerful smile.

"I leave myself in your care then, Y/N-sensei," Suga said while bowing to you.

"Just call me Y/N. I think you're older than me, anyway," you said, laughing a bit. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

You walked towards the nurses that were calling you, leaving an extremely red Sugawara in the middle of the foyer.

The next day stood as a challenge for the silver-haired male.

He was going to act as good as he can so that your job could be as simple as it can be - no cheeky comments, no playful jokes.

Just being a boring, normal patient for the few hours you'd be in his room.

Well, that resolve almost failed immediately when you came in and begged for a conversation with him.

"It's too quiet for me to work properly, Sugawara-san. I know you think that keeping the room quiet helps, but the tension in the room is a bit too strong for me to work normally," you said, aching for some noise to come out of him.

But he didn't say anything - not even a noise.

"If you don't say anything in the next few minutes, I am going to begin talking a bit too much and trust me, you don't want that."

You turned to prepare the machine to remove the excess mucus in his lungs.

"You can call me Suga-san if you want," Suga whispered, scared to speak as loud as he usually does.

You chuckled and turned to face him. "I was going to call you Koushi-kun, whether you liked it or not."

"So, Koushi-kun," you started, "where and when does this author's life begin?"

He chuckled softly. "I was actually born in Miyagi. I was a replacement setter for the volleyball team in my school. Then again, I played a few times even when our main setter was there."

"What school?"

"Karasuno."

You opened your eyes in shock. "Wait - you were part of the Karasuno's volleyball team that went to nationals back then!"

He stared at your wonder-filled eyes and smiled. "Yeah, I was."

"So you know Hinata Shoyo and Kageyama Tobio? The Japan players?"

Pride swelled in him when he heard those two names. "Yeah, I do. I actually taught Hinata the basics."

"You've done well, my friend," you said, earning a laugh from the 26-year old.

And that small conversation began the long conversations you both had when you were doing long hours in the hospital.

After handling other patients, you'd often spend time with Koushi in his room with the pretence of 'I'm his doctor - it's my duty to be with him most of the time.'

But that was far from the truth, wasn't it?

You were developing feelings for your own patient.

How could you not fall for him?

Behind the beautiful exterior of his was a man of true beauty itself.

He was a hard worker - spent most of his time working on his new project.

He was kind - helped the nurses with managing the kids in the pediatric ward when they went for their lunch break.

He was the ideal man for anyone.

Time passed and you had been taking care of the former setter for the past two years.

He introduced you to his friends - Asahi, Daichi, Kageyama and Hinata, if you remember correctly - when they came over.

They soon became close friends of yours too - despite your fangirling over the Japan volleyball players. They often spent hours on end with Suga in his room.

All of you enjoyed the small talks you all had together and talked about the things happening in the outside world - be it a small injury or someone's wedding.

"Y/N-san, what about you? Are you in a relationship?" the orange-haired man asked, a small yet beaming smile on his lips.

You instantly blushed and looked at Sugawara. His eyes focused solely on you, taking you in.

"I've been single my whole life. I don't think I'd be getting into a relationship soon, too. The doctor's life doesn't really revolve around romance, despite all the TV shows and movies," you ended, earning snickers from almost everyone in the room.

"How about the rest of you? Is there a conquest of love happening in your lives?" you asked. Now my turn to grin.

Both Kageyama and Hinata stared at one another, faces beet red.

Koushi sighed. "Why can't you both just tell that you're a couple? We all knew ever since high school."

"How did you all know?" Kageyama shouted. You immediately shushed him, earning a small 'sorry' from him.

"You both aren't quiet in the storage room, you know?" Daichi said. Everyone except the couple began laughing hysterically.

"Damn, the money I'd get if I leaked this to the news," you jokingly said, teasing the two players.

When the clock showed 8pm, you pushed the four of the visitors out of Suga's room.

Their time had ended and they needed to head home.

Once they left, you felt a tug on your doctor's coat. You saw Koushi asking you back into the room, not ready for you to leave yet.

"Is everything okay?" You asked him, worried about his health.

"Do you feel like there isn't enough oxygen in your tank? I can always get you a replacement right now-" Koushi placed his finger on your lips.

"Please, just listen to what I have to say," he asked, his eyes begging you to listen to him.

You closed the door behind the two of you. He pulled you to sit beside him on his bed.

"I know I don't have much time left. I already had 10 years after diagnosis when the norm is 4," he said, chuckling.

You wanted to intervene - hell, the sentence was already prepared in your head - but you didn't. From what it looked like, he wanted you to just accept whatever he had to say.

"My drive to write is long gone - I can barely write a sentence I like anymore. I love playing with the kids, but I feel like I would just disturb them rather than entertaining them. I - I feel my life slipping away from my fingers, Y/N..." he said, tears forming around his eyes.

"Yet, when I see you walk along the halls of the hospital, I feel re-energized. I only met you two years ago, but I already am so dependant on you - and not just as a doctor. You are the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. You are the only thing I think of when I fall asleep. You are..." he gripped on your wrist, "the only thing I want right now."

"Koushi-kun..."

"I love you, Y/N. I didn't want you to leave today without knowing this. I love you so much - as a doctor and as a person."

You hugged the male in front of you, letting his tears fall on your jacket.

"I know you can't reciprocate my feelings, but I just needed you to know."

You gripped on his shirt.

This was the only man you've ever wanted, but you could never have him.

You held your tears back as you walked out of his room.

The next day was just a blur.

The mucus in his lungs built up at an extremely fast pace.

A severe infection formed in his lungs.

You rushed from your apartment to the hospital to conduct surgery as fast as you could.

Luck, however, wasn't on your side.

In the midst of the surgery, the electrocardiogram flatlined.

Sugawara Koushi was pronounced dead at 3:45 am at the Hospital of Tokyo on the 19th of December in the year 2022.

I hope you enjoyed the fanfic! As always, if you have ideas or tropes you'd like me to try, don't hesitate to leave a suggestion here! Thanks for all the reblogs and the likes too! <3 If you want to learn about Cystic Fibrosis, I watched this video and it helped me in understanding the science part of it~

[shirtlesssammy]

1x18: Something Wicked

Then:

After this they toss the ball around like old times

Now:

Fitchburg, WI

When I first started watching this show, I found great delight in all the locations the Winchesters visited that I recognized. I also laughed at how much these locations didn’t look a thing like the real place. 

We begin this episode with a little girl saying her prayers. Her dad tucks her in, and she asks about her mom. She’ll be staying the night at the hospital with the little girl’s sister. 

Later that night, the little girl sits up listening to the wind beat tree branches against her window. One of the branches turns into a hand that opens her window. A shadowy figure creeps across the room ---and a Deatheater scares the girl into a comatose state. 

Sam and Dean are on the hunt since John is TOO LAME AND PETTY AND MEAN to go himself. Sam swears there’s nothing on their radar, but Dean insists they check it out. 

(This episode gets pretty dark when it comes to John and Dean so we’ll try to add lots of pretty pictures to help with the pain.)

For Side Profile Science:

The boys pull into the nice rural town of Fitchberg Fitchburg, WI, not the more urban suburb of the state’s capital. 

They ask around about anything weird in town ---just the freemasons being sneaky again. (Flashes of Hot Fuzz). Sam then notices that there are no kids at the school playground at 4 in the afternoon. 

Dean heads over to talk to Hannah a mother who tells him about kids falling sick in town, and parents getting anxious over it. 

Dean and Bikini Inspector/CDC doctor Sam head to the hospital. 

For Bikini Inspector Science:

They head to the pediatric ward. Dean notices an old woman who decorates her room with an upside down cross (way to play with our ingrained bias of ageism and sexism show!) 

Dr. Hydeker explains that 6 children are sick with pneumonia so far, and their bodies are just shutting down. They won’t respond to antibiotics or anything. 

This disease works its way through families, one child after another. None of the children are conscious. They interview the father of Mary and Bethany. He mentions that they think they caught this from an open window. 

Sam and Dean wonder what opened the window and go to the house to check it out. Initially, they find nothing, but then Sam notices one WACKY handprint. “What the hell leaves a handprint like that?” Sam wonders. 

*RAGE Flashback Alert*

John’s heading out on a hunt and he’s giving young Dean instructions. Then he scolds his 9 year old son to pay attention. 

Dean recites John’s fatherly advice: “Shoot first, ask questions later.” before John takes off. I love how he bullies Dean into being an adult here, and doesn’t even acknowledge Sam at all when he leaves. 

Present day, Dean tells Sam that he knows why they’re in Fitchburg. John’s faced this monster in the past, and he wants them to finish it.

When they pull into their motel for the night, Sam asks what a shtriga is. Dean thinks it’s a witch of some sort. John faced one over 15 years ago in Wisconsin, and now it appears to be back. 

Dean heads inside to get a room for them. He’s greeted with a surly 10 year old hotel proprietor. Well, the son of the real hotel manager. Dean can’t decide to be upset with the kid questioning his sexuality or soft for the kid who clearly has a great responsibility taking care of his younger brother. The mom helps Dean get a room. 

While Dean gets checked in, he has another flashback. 

*Scabetti-os Flashback Alert*

Dean’s feeding Sam his dinner. Sam’s sick of the same old food. He wants Lucky Charms, but there’s only one bowl left, and Dean needs to eat too. Sam throws on his baby-puppy dog look and Dean throws away the spaghetti-os and let’s Sam eat the cereal. It BREAKS me that this child has to think rationally and maturely to feed his younger brother, but he’s JUST A KID so he throws the pasta away in anger instead of eating it himself. 

For One Day Sam Won’t Touch Sugar Cereal Science:

Sam does his research and discovers more about shtriga. They feed off of spiritus vitae --or breath of life. Sam says they prefer children and they’re invulnerable to everything. Dean corrects him and says that they’re vulnerable when they feed. 

Sam continues that this monster takes the form of a human when it’s not feeding --generally an old woman. Dean remembers the woman from the hospital. 

They head to the hospital, ready to do their worst to the old lady. 

A nice jump scare that gets me every time reveals that she’s just an old woman. She demands they fix the crucifix that fell on her wall --so it wasn’t supposed to be upside down. WINCHESTER BAD. 

At the motel, Michael and his little brother sleep peacefully. A shadowy hand creeps across the window and opens it.

The next morning the Winchesters return to the motel. Dean notices Michael moping outside the office. It turns out that Asher is very sick and just got shipped to the hospital. The window was unlatched, and Michael blames himself for not protecting his younger brother. Dean “Guilt Spiral” Winchester tries to help him avoid lifelong trauma by telling him that it isn’t his fault. Excuse me while I WEEP A SINGLE TEAR!

Dean gives the mom a lift to the hospital while Michael stays behind. Sam heads to the library, where I am forced ONCE AGAIN to include a picture of a Winchester rocking a microfiche machine. 

For (This Joke Will Never Die) Library Science:

Sam fills Dean in on a string of child deaths tied to a mysterious pneumonia-like illness. The Fitchburg body count is just getting started. Sam finds a newspaper photo from the 1890’s featuring the very same doctor who is caring for the pediatric patients today. Dean, still at the hospital, puts on his murder face. Doctor Hydecker is IN THAT VERY ROOM looking over Asher. He asks Dean what the CDC has uncovered so far. Um. Nothing? Except a big ol’ liar and murderer. 

Back at the motel, Dean fills Sam in on the hospital encounter with Hydecker. He didn’t attack the doctor at the hospital because a shtriga is only vulnerable when feeding. Also - more importantly - he didn’t have his guns on him. Dean plans to catch the shtriga in action that very night...when it returns to feed on Michael.

Sam’s horrified by this plan, but Dean insists that the end justifies the means. After all, their dad sent Dean to Fitchburg to clean up the hunt he botched...WHEN HE WAS JUST A KID. 

Dean explains: years ago John Winchester left Sam and Dean alone in a motel room in Fort Douglas, Wisconsin. A few nights into John’s absence, Dean leaves the room (with Sam asleep) so he can play arcade games at a local tavern. When he returns, there’s a terrifying spectre hovering over Sam.

Dean calmly picks up the shotgun(!!!) his father left him, only for John to shout Dean out of the way. John blasts the heck out of the shtriga and then moves to cradle Sam (who is fine, don’t worry bbys). 

Dean explains that he just left for a little bit! (A few hours and not, like, THREE DAYS, AMIRITE?) John’s pissed at Dean for failing to parent Sam properly. After the failed attack, John dropped Sam and Dean off at Pastor Jim’s. “Dad never spoke about it again. I didn’t ask. But he, uh… He looked at me different. You know? Which was worse. Not that I blame him. He gave me an order and I didn’t listen.”

Sam tries to convince Dean that he was just a kid and not responsible, but Dean “Guilt is Ninety Percent of My Personality” Winchester refuses to listen. John sent them this hunt as a personal message to DEAN. (Pardon me while I step outside and kick the shit out of John Winchester.) ANYWHO, Dean’s going to kill the shtriga any way he can...so young Michael gets to be bait. They head over to talk to Michael.

Dean and Sam try to convince Michael to let them watch over him while he sleeps????? Lordy lord lord. Dean tries to convince Michael that monsters are real. Only, Michael doesn’t need much convincing. He saw the monster when it attacked his brother. (Side note: I give the person filming Jensen in this episode a Major Award.)

Michael decides to sign on for the hunt on the chance that it might save Asher. Big brother club FTW! The Winchesters set up a nanny cam, instruct Michael to hide under the bed when they burst into the room, and get ready for the shtriga’s arrival. Dean tells Michael that he doesn’t have to be bait and he “won’t be mad” if he wants out after all. (I stroke Dean’s cheek and whisper, “Still beautiful, still Dean Winchester.”) But Michael’s all in if it means helping his brother.

The shtriga arrives for its murder appointment and the window slides open. The shtriga leans down in classic dementor mode to feed on a completely wide awake Michael, when the Winchesters burst in and start firing. The shtriga goes down like a trick target at a carnival, but it isn’t dead yet! (Only mostly dead.) It attacks Dean and then, symbolically, attacks Sam. While it begins to feed on Sam, Dean fires off one perfect shot into the shtriga’s forehead, killing it. “You okay, little brother?” Dean asks, also SYMBOLICALLY. 

Tiny, life-force soul bits float out of the dying shtriga’s mouth, on their way to reinhabit all the sick children in town. 

The next day, the Winchesters prepare to leave town. All the kids are on the road to recovery, and Michael gets ready to head off to visit his brother. (YAY!) 

Sam takes a turn for the morose and mourns the fact that Michael knows monsters are real now. Dean “I’m Your Parent” Winchester tells Sam that he wishes he could have ensured that innocence for Sam as well. They drive off in a swirling cloud of Winchester angst. 

Live, from Fitchquote, Wisconsin:

I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right

I was sleeping with my peepers open

You were just a kid

Sometimes nightmares are real

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[actuallyjomd]

NICU Post Night Shift Walk To My Car

The elevator opens right as I arrive at 6:15. It smells like someone broke a perfume bottle in it.

I see one of my med-peds colleagues and remember I need to borrow baby shower supplies from her.

Then I’m walking past registration and a woman starts vomiting into a trash can.

“She’s pregnant and has really bad morning sickness.”

Her partner informs me as their other child sits casually in a stroller.

I pat her back and keep walking.

I’m rounding the corner and I see my program director. Her eyes are wet, rimmed red with tears.

“Hi!” I say with a start, full head turn to process what I saw.

Hope everything is ok, I text her.

“Yes, it is. They are withdrawing support for a patient I’ve known for years. Today we say goodbye forever.”

My eyes well up and I keep walking.

I step out through the sliding double doors into the humid sunrise. Two of my colleagues in peds, perhaps the extremes of introvert and extrovert see me. We finger guns and I keep walking.

At the cross walk I see the anesthesia intern who I met on his first day of residency in the pediatric ED.

“Getting close to the end?” I ask.

“Three more days?”

He replies groggily. Pediatrics wards have been rough.

“You’ve got this.” I say and I keep walking.

It’s 6:23am as I unlocked my car door. All in a morning stroll.

[anotherbeingsworld]

Post-It

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Casey Valentine), although it focuses more on Casey in the story! 

Summary: The job that you have been doubting has been the one for you from the start through a couple of post-its. 

Warning: None, just fluff in literal. 

A/N: Heyyy, I am back-ish? I feel like this is somehow a way for me to ease the last couple of days of stress. I wrote this with a perspective in my mind, the thought of people walking in and out of my life at times. Those people somehow had given me a smile, an advice, a laughter, and just.. a small glance had made a small difference. This fic is somehow a way, to thank those who had saved other people’s lives with a piece of advice, for those who always has been there for the ones they love. And, to those who had one way or another had saved my life, in a metaphorical sense. All of you are a blessing to the world, and keep being you. These past days, has been one of the peak points for now and... I felt very low. I suddenly thought of the low moments in my life, where someone would come by. Its either for a minute, a month, a year or even a whole lifetime. They left a mark on my life, and had helped me in one way or another. Thank you, and this is for those who has saved people lives by being there for them during the hardest. You are definitely a gem, and you are always worth it. And, to those who I met here, you guys too had somehow made me better. Thank you <3  (I AM SORRY FOR THE LONG AUTHOR’S NOTE) // Also, this is one of my fav ones to write! ENJOY! 

A birthday gift to the lovely @honourlight​ ! Happy birthday, and thank you for everything love! <3333 

Tags:  @bitchloveskcbaseball , @storyofmychoices @jaxsmutsuo​ , @mvalentine , @princess-geek , @lahellacute , @kacie-0156-deactivated20200905 , @this-person-is-busy , @annekebbphotography , @brycelahel, @mrsbhandari , @dcbbw , @choicessa , @choices-confessions , @aylamwrites , @fantasyoverreality98 , @drakewalker04 , @baltersome , @ofpixelsandscribbles , @thundergom  @starrystarrytrouble, @ohramsey , @kelseaaa  , @rookie-ramsey , @bratzlahela , @ohvamsey , @choicesficwriterscreations , @soft-for-drake , @lalizah , @drethanramslay​ @agnidero​ , @arcticlumineer​

LINK TO MY MASTERLIST 

Her diagnostics office can be quite lonely sometimes, besides the enormous piles of journals that were stacked on every part of the desk. She loved her job, she often wonder what life would be if she were not a doctor. All of her high school friends would comment on her job choice, with various of reasons that made her questioned her decision over and over again; as every failure that occurred, every setback that kept on pushing her down.

The table was scattered with papers of research studies on deseases as the team are trying to find out. Working on the diagnostics team was a dream, working alongside her idol: Dr. Ethan Ramsey, and the infamous Dr. June Hirata and the long lost Mirani twin in her eyes; Dr. Baz Mirani.

Her eys wondered at the trinkets on the table, a pile of pictures were plastered on the wall. A small part of her desk that was known as home to her, even from thousand and hundreds miles away.

The collection of memories that was made throughout her life more than any other year. The feeling of joy, sadness, betrayal was washed through her eyes as her eyes did a small run down on all the respective memories.

It stopped on a particular one. A post-it. Post-it's.

'Thank you for saving my life Dr. V' - Your future rockstar!

'I wanted to disappear once, and now; I felt like life has given me a new reason to live again. Thank you.' - Emilia

'I never knew he would survived, but... he did, I never believe in miracles but, it felt like a chance to start to see again. Thank you for all you have done to us' - Reg .

'Mommy loves to told us a story about a guardian angel looking over us, watching us and taking care of us. Thank you for becoming mine.' - Sean, a drawing of butterflies in a beautiful garden which could be translated as scribbles.

'A hundred of years would never be enough to thank you for everything that you do.' - A&P

Her eyes started to welled up, over all the stories that played in her mind. All the memories from the patients that she called 'friends', the memories of playing blocks with lil Sean at the pediatric ward. The time Emilia hugged her when she was discharged from the hospital after going through a surgery with Bryce in command.

--------------

After a long day of work, the pair stopped by their favourite joint to have one of their impromptu dates, as he recalls a story from Emilia herself.

'She told me about this doctor, blonde, emerald eyes. The prettiest smile in the world....' His eyes fall onto her, despite the exhaustion taking over he; she looked amazing.

'Stop it Bryce...' feeling quite flushed trying to get him to change the subject.

He shook his head with a smile,

'She told me how you were there to hold her hand during her check-ups, she told me all the stories of watching disney together and one of my favourites, the day where she told me about, the thunderstorm.' Bryce looks at her in adoration somehow, the figure sitting in front of him, is one of the best person he ever met.

Casey felt herself somehow getting choked up, remembering those memories flowed by. The thunderstorm held a special place in her heart, as she remembers the time where Emilia felt shaken by the thunder. She accompanied her, throughout the storm as they ended up, falling asleep on her bed. Talking about all of their favourite cartoons growing up, a huge smile was seen on her face after.

'One thing that stood with me after all, she told me...

....you saved her life Casey.'

He took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze, a gesture that words can't compare.

----------------

Her attention was interrupted by the sudden knock on her door, she hides her head down as an attempt to wipe the sudden tears falling from her eyes.

After a couple of attempts, she glances up meeting Bryce. A smile on his face, and a look of concern too.

'Dr. Valentine, I have a preposition for you.' He said in his doctor voice that made her choke in laughter.

'Go on Dr. Lahela.' She made her way to him, as he present a couple of small post-it.

'You look pretty today, I love you in blue'

She laughed at the note in her hand, as he winks before leaving the room. She calls him once more, leaving a smooch on his cheek as they resume their lives.

She smiled at the sight of it, as she took a seat once more on her chair. A sight of the other post-its caught her attention, as she unveiled it slowly.

A set of tears started to fall, as those were the ones that she recognizes very well. She remembers the time where Edenbrook held a small campaign of doctor appreciation day with the patients. She wasn't present during it all as the thought of it flows down her back. But, the post-its in her hands was the same ones from that particular day. A small token of appreciation to the doctors, which to quote the words of Dr. Naveen Banerji before.

'You saved me. Thank you.' was written in black, as the words were bold.

In that very moment, she loved her job more than ever.

The job of saving lives, was not for the weak. But, for the ones who will never give up and she didn’t give up. <3 

THE END 

[thejolexgroupchat]

Would love to see a fic of prompt #57 !!! (“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.” ) I have no idea what it would be like but it just sounds fun ahaha

We absolutely LOVE the prompts you all sent us. This fic was written by Nina @doc-pickles and Leya @iamtrebleclefstories

Enjoy the first of many collaborative fics from The Group Chat!

the one with the juice box

It was an unusually hot May day in Seattle, meaning the ER was filled with heat stroke patients that kept everyone busy. Alex had been running back and forth from the peds floor to the ER all day, checking in on new patients while still maintaining his normal routine. To be honest, he was exhausted and all he wanted was to settle in for lunch with his wife. He hadn’t seen her since they’d walked in together almost four hours ago, which wasn’t unusual, but she usually popped by to see him at least once or twice. 

Clocking off for his lunch, Alex wandered down towards the main surgical floor in search of his wife. She’d seemed okay when they were getting ready for the day, extreme morning sickness turned to only an occasional swell of nausea now that she was in her second trimester. Still, Alex couldn’t help the worry for his wife that wound itself through his body. He knew that the pregnancy was taking a toll on her, both physically and emotionally, so, although he was sure she was going to be fine, he couldn't help but worry. 

After searching and finally asking a few nurses he’d passed, he found Jo laying on an empty gurney in one of the quieter hallways. She wasn’t asleep, just laying on her back and glaring at the ceiling with the most adorable angry pout Alex had ever seen. He smiled because the position she was lying in allowed him to see the tiniest curve of her stomach, so small and barely there that he was probably the only one who noticed.

He came up behind her and pressed a tender kiss on her forehead, “Hi.”

“Shut up,” Jo scowled.

“What?” Alex asked, a puzzled look on his face. “All I did was say hi. You can’t be mad at me for that.”

“I’m not mad because you said hi,” Jo rolled her eyes. “I’m mad at you because you did this to me. You knocked me up and now I can barely stand without feeling like I’m going to fall over.”

Alex wanted to laugh, honestly. But he knew if he did, he’d end up in the doghouse. Jo’s hormones had been a whirlwind lately. Most days, he teetered on the edge of saying something equally snarky back or just taking it in stride. Today, he decided to contain himself, “You’re not dizzy because you’re pregnant. Well, it’s not the only reason you’re dizzy. You’re dizzy because you’ve barely eaten anything all day. This morning when I made breakfast, you almost bit my head off for placing eggs in front of you, and proceeded to tell me how you couldn’t stand the smell and didn’t want to eat anything. I had to practically shove that piece of toast down your throat.”

“It’s still kind of your fault. Because if I weren’t pregnant, then I wouldn’t have weird food aversions that keep me from eating.” Jo pointed out. 

“As far as I remember, you’re the one who got us into this situation. You stopped taking your pills, and I told you that I didn’t have a condom but you said and I quote, ‘I don’t care. I’m naked and horny, stop stalling and just stick it in me.’ So really, you did this to yourself,” Alex shrugged.

“Whatever,” Jo glared at her husband. “What do you want?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come eat lunch with me,” Alex asked sweetly, knowing if he won Jo over with his charm she might not realize he was just trying to get food into her over exerted body. 

“I honestly don’t know if I can even get up from this gurney,” Jo admitted, eyes moving up to meet Alex’s. He could see just from looking at her how much of a toll everything was taking on her. “I think I’m just gonna spend the next few months here, then I don’t have to move when I give birth.”

“I’ll carry you over there if I have to,” Alex offered, holding his hand out towards Jo. “Come on, I’ll help you up and hold your hand if you get dizzy.”

“Fine,” Jo huffed and held on to Alex as she let him help her off the gurney. 

They got to the cafeteria and Jo wrinkled her nose at the available options. Nothing looked appetizing, prompting her to grab an apple and banana and sit down at a table. Alex joined her a moment later, tray loaded with a burger, a sandwich, two bags of chips, and a fruit cup. He grabbed the burger and bit into it before fixing Jo with a pointed stare.

“Please for the love of god, force yourself to eat something besides an apple,” Alex pushed the tray towards Jo who glared at him. “If you don’t eat any of that, I’m putting you on my service so I can watch you all day and make sure you don’t pass out.”

“I’m not a resident anymore, you can force me on your service,” Jo pointed out, eyeing him warily.

“Dammit. That’s right. You’re a fellow,” Alex wrinkled his nose. “Well, good news is that I’m the chief, so technically I can have you follow me around all day.” 

Jo stared him down for a moment, Alex unfazed by his wife’s glare as he bit into his burger. Finally relenting, Jo grabbed a bag of chips and began to slowly eat them between bites of fruit. 

“You know I really hate you sometimes,” Jo mumbled as she took a final bite of the apple, a low groan escaping her as she did so. “Bailey would never abuse her power like this.”

“You didn’t know her when I was a resident,” Alex took another bite of his burger. “Are you sure you don’t want anything else? You can have some of my burger.”

“I’m sure,” Jo shook her head, a disgusted look crossing her face as she settled one hand onto her stomach. “Watching you eat is making me feel nauseous.”

Alex sighed, looking to Jo with a serious expression “This isn’t okay Jo. I can’t have you walking around the hospital alone without having eaten anything. You’re with me today, okay?”

“I don’t need to be babysat Alex, I can take care of myself,” Jo whined, crossing her arms across her chest like an angry toddler. “You don’t need to watch me 24/7.”

“You fell asleep on our bathroom floor yesterday after puking for 30 minutes. How about this,” Alex leaned in towards his wife with a small grin. “Shepherd and I have a Peds case together, you can come and help us so it doesn’t feel like I’m just dragging you around to make sure you don’t pass out in a storage closet.”

Jo eyed Alex warily, he was almost certain she was going to fight him on it, but he wore his ‘I’m the Chief don't test me right now’ expression well enough that she finally conceded. 

“Ugh… fine,” Jo groaned, standing and reaching for Alex’s hand. “Bailey’s out today anyway, so it’s not like I have anything better to do. But this is a one time thing!”

Alex joined Jo, one arm wrapped tightly around her shoulder as they headed towards the elevators. 

“That’s the spirit, your enthusiasm is appreciated,” Alex chuckled as they made their way to the Peds ward. “If you keep eating and stop feeling like shit, maybe I’ll let you do more things on your own.”

Alex led Jo into a patient room, Helm and Shepherd already speaking with a young girl and her mom. Amelia was explaining the procedure to them, so Alex and Jo hung back by the door until they’d finished. 

“I brought you something,” Alex whispered, handing a box of apple juice to Jo. “Figured you can keep your electrolytes up.”

Jo rolled her eyes as she snatched the juice box from Alex, sticking it in the pocket of her lab coat. "You're a pain in the ass. Stop hovering."

“Geez, Jo. Why are you so grumpy? I'm supposed to be the grumpy one,” Alex tried joking in hopes of lightening the mood. "You're the nice one in this relationship. "

“Did you forget that I'm literally carrying your genes right now?" Jo stared her husband down. "I am part Alex Karev at this moment and will continue to be for the next five and a half months, so you better get used to this.” 

Alex narrowed his eyes at her and reached for the juice box in her pocket. He removed the straw from the plastic and handed both items back to his wife, "Whatever. You can be mean and grumpy all you want, but you're carrying our kid and they need nutrients. So, stick that in your juice box and suck it."

Jo glared at Alex as she stuck the straw in the juice box. She was about to open her mouth in response when her smart remark was interrupted by Amelia calling Alex over to speak to the mom.

“Gracie and Delilah, this is Doctor Karev. He’s the best pediatric surgeon we have and he’s going to help me fix you up Gracie,” Amelia turned from Gracie to her mom. “Seriously this guy is a miracle worker, you’re lucky I convinced him to come consult.”

Alex pulled Delilah aside, explaining in more detail exactly what Gracie’s treatment plan would look like. He could tell she was worried, but hoped that he and Amelia could keep her nerves at bay. 

“Any other questions before we start doing labs?”

“Well just one,” Delilah blushed, eyelashes batting against her cheeks as she looked up to Alex. “Would it be inappropriate for me to ask for your number?”

Now, it’s not like Alex had never been hit on at work before. He had been, plenty of times, especially being a peds surgeon that dealt with scared moms daily. But since he’d been preoccupied with his Chief duties, lately he hadn’t spent enough time alone with moms to have them hit on him. Not to mention it was the first time Alex had experienced this since he’d gotten married. He also didn’t expect for his wife to be standing on the opposite side of the room when it happened.

So for that very reason, Alex blurted out the first thing that came to his mind, “I’m sleeping with her.”

Delilah looked stunned and a bit confused, scrunching her face as she looked to the doctors behind them, “Which one?”

Alex looked around the room and saw Jo standing with Amelia and Helm talking to Gracie. Jo clinked her juice box against Gracie’s and took a giant slurp. Alex turned back around to Delilah and motioned to Jo, “The one with the juice box.”

“Oh,” Delilah nodded, a strange expression on her face.

“Yeah,” Alex laughed awkwardly, his hand coming up to rub against his neck. “That’s my wife. My pregnant wife, sharing a juice box with your kid. Who I’m about to operate on.”

Alex and Delilah stood in an awkward silence that was only broken by Amelia announcing that Helm was going to run labs for Gracie before they prepped her for surgery. Alex quickly said his goodbyes to Gracie and Delilah, grabbing Jo’s arm pulling her out of the hospital room. 

“Geez you’re eager to get out of there,” Jo joked, sipping off her juice box as they walked down the hall. “What’s up with you?”

“She hit on me,” Alex blurted out, turning to Jo with a shocked expression. “Gracie’s mom hit on me.”

There was a beat of silence between the two before Jo burst into laughter, holding a hand to her chest as she tried to contain the giggles coming from her mouth. Jo wiped a few tears from her eyes, "What did you say? Please tell me you froze like an idiot."

Alex ran a hand over his face in hopes of disguising his embarrassment, "I told her I was sleeping with the one drinking the juice box." 

"Oh God… Alex," Jo's laughter started up again. She laughed in between her words. "Out of everything... that's what you said? Did you at least say that we're married. I don't need patients thinking I'm servicing the Chief." 

"Of course. I'm not that much of an idiot," Alex sighed. "I don't need patients thinking that the Chief of Surgery is a man-whore."

"He used to be," Jo muttered under her breath, nudging Alex with a smirk.

"Shut up," Alex stuck his tongue out, deciding to mess with Jo a bit. "I haven't been like that in years. You know that you're the only person I've slept with in the past six years? You can't exactly say the same."

"Hey!" Jo gasped and slapped Alex on the shoulder. "I thought we agreed to forget about that. Me sleeping with Schmidt was a momentary lapse in judgement. And I only did it because I was trying to get over you."

"Well, would you look at how that worked out," Alex poked her small bump lightly. "You ended up with me anyway."

"I know," Jo groaned. "And now I have to put up with you for the rest of my life."

"You love me," Alex bent down and gave Jo a quick peck on the lips. "Come on, we've got like forty-five minutes before we've got to meet Shepherd in the OR and I'm going to try to force a granola bar or something down your throat."

"We've got forty-five minutes free and all you want to do is make sure I eat something?" Jo shook her head in disappointment. "Gosh, being Chief has really mellowed you out. Who are you and what have you done with Alex Karev?"

"Huh?" Alex looked at her in confusion. "What did you want to do with your free time?"

"Alex, come on. You can't be that clueless," Jo looked at him expectantly. Seeing that he wasn't going to catch on anytime soon, she decided to spell it out for him. "Dude. I'm fifteen weeks pregnant and my hormones are raging right now,"

A look of realization finally crossed Alex's face, "Oh… Oh! You wanna?"

"Yup," Jo nodded and looked at him with an expression that could only be described as hungrily. 

"I could be into that," Alex whispered. "Let's get out of here before someone sees me and decides that they need the Chief."

[kindness-ricochets]

SoC Hospital AU

First & most important, thank you to a friend for sensitivity reading this (not putting a name because I don’t have permission to do that, but you know who you are <3). Even so: I am a cis writer including a trans character, so if there’s anything wrong or inappropriate in the fic, please tell me. It is never my intent to cause anyone offense.

TW: misgendering (some out of ignorance, some less so), allusions to suicide attempts

This place was too cold. Jesper lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, with the covers pulled up to his shoulders. The crocheted blanket didn’t really keep him warm. As he tried not to die of boredom, he slid his fingers into the gaps and out, wriggled them all the way through and—

Crap.

He looked at the blanket. How had his knuckles made it through the weave only to get stuck?! Jesper tugged at it, but ultimately needed his other hand. His stitches hurt when he sat up.

It wasn’t like he had nothing to do, either. His homework was right there. A guy couldn’t even have appendicitis these days without a little APUSH reading to go along with it.

He poked at the stitches and resolved not to do it again.

The hospital was a boring place. Presumably the surgery itself had been a little more exciting. Jesper barely remembered it. How was that for a bit of luck?! One of the most exciting things to happen in a guy’s life and he was all delirious! So now he sat on a semi-comfortable bed in a too-cold room. He had a window, at least, not that he could see much through it. A curtain was drawn across the room long-ways, like he might get jealous of that empty bed and… and race them or something. Yeah, like rig up an oxygen tank and have a two-bed hospital race, that would be cool!

He wasn’t going to, but it was fun to imagine.

Jesper knew he should do some reading. Exams and all that. But he knew it was pointless, to. His mind would wander after a few minutes. And if he was being honest, he didn't actually want to study. Didn't he deserve a break? A proper sick day?

So he leaned back and decided if he was stuck on his own, he might as well entertain himself. He sang to himself. He started with “Walk the Line”—picked up courtesy of his father, who hadn’t even been born when it was first released, but played Johnny Cash all Jesper’s childhood.

It was a good song, anyway.

Jesper waited a moment after the end of it, pausing for an imaginary audience.

“Thank you so much, it’s an honor to be here tonight. Now, for my next hit, this is ‘Party in the CIA’ by Weird Al Yankovic…”

And obviously he had to do a few moves, it was a song that just begged for finger-guns, imaginary sunglasses, and pretend tie-straightening. He limited the moves after an objection from his stitches, but that in no way limited his good time. Except, Jesper had only got to a line that always got him—“We got snazzy suits and ties/and a better dental plan than the FBI’s!”—when he heard… laughter.

Jesper stopped the song.

“What the—I thought I was alone!”

There was no answer.

“Well, now I know I’m not, so you might as well speak up.” And ideally his roommate could confirm his age. Jesper was seventeen, so they had stuck him in the pediatric ward. He hoped he wasn’t bunking with a kid—that would be… weird. Plus he’d have to work on not cussing.

“H-hey,” said the other guy. He sounded a little younger, but Jesper couldn't be sure.

“Hey! So you like Weird Al?”

“Who?”

“Weird Al Yankovic. Never mind, never mind. How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Cool, I’m seventeen. So what’re you in for? I had my appendix out.” And his roommate was close to his age, so he had someone to hang out with! Jesper glanced at his APUSH book, then back to his fingers tugging at the blanket.

“Did it hurt?”

Jesper hadn’t initially said it was appendicitis. He hadn’t known. He thought he just felt miserable, but he didn’t want his parents to worry. By the time he couldn’t pretend anymore that he was okay…

“Nah. They knocked me out, anyway. I’m just bored.”

“Me, too.”

“Want to play Twenty Questions?”

“Sure. You pick something first.”

“Got it. It’s a person.”

The game continued for a while. It wasn’t Jesper’s favorite game in the world, but it kept him occupied—that and toying with the blanket—even as they got into an argument over whether or not “a field” counted as a thing. It totally did, a specific field would have been a place, but this was a kind of place, which was a thing. 

“No, a place is a place, you can’t just decide a place is a thing!”

“Yeah, if it were a specific place, but it’s not a place. It’s a category of places.”

“So a room would be a thing, but this room is a place?”

“Glad we agree.”

“That is ridiculous.”

Jesper laughed. He was about to retort that it wasn’t ridiculous, it was logical, when the door opened. 

“You look cheerful,” Aditi Hilli reported, coming to sit on the edge of his bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Just cold and my stitches are itchy.”

“Itchy means healing,” she said, smoothing a hand over his hair. 

“There you go, siding with medicine again!”

He knew she only had a minute. She wasn’t treating him, that would be a severe conflict of interest, but she had found time in her shift to stop in. So Jesper didn’t waste time groaning. He didn’t even put up a fuss when she hugged him.

“Are you dizzy or in any pain?”

“No.” It was a medical question, but he understood that it was a mom question, too. It was a how are you question with more detail.

“Have you—”

“Ma, I love you, but I am not talking to you about pooping.”

“Honestly, Jesper, I changed your diapers.”

“Ma!”

“After an appendectomy—”

Jesper grabbed the pillow and wrapped it around his head like massive earmuffs as he informed her, loudly, “Not listening! Not listening!”

She shook her head at him and checked his chart. Okay, fine, she knew she could get that information. He still didn’t want to have the actual conversation. Seriously, was nothing sacred?

She set down the chart. He set down the pillow.

“I’m glad you’re okay, little rabbit.”

Jesper slumped just slightly. It was easy to shrug off being sick, but he knew his parents had genuinely been scared. He should have told them earlier, but that was easy to say in hindsight. But he was already enough of a disaster. Telling them meant giving them one more thing to worry about, and he had expected to hurt for a while and recover on his own.

“I love you, too. I’m fine, I promise, just… bored. Do you have my tangle? Or my zippers?”

“No, but your father’s coming to see you after work. He wanted to stay but I knew you wouldn’t like him hovering.”

“Thanks for taking care of us.”

“I’ll ask him to look for your things. Do you know where they are?”

“Um… y’know… I think I have a couple bracelets in the bathroom, and my tangle might be in the back pocket of my jeans. I’m sick,” he reminded her, playing up his ‘sick face’ to avoid hearing about how he needed to clean his room. He knew that. He didn’t mean to leave it a mess, he just kind of… forgot. The mess was organic. 

“I’ll ask him.”

She kissed his forehead and left. There wasn’t a lot of down time in hospitals. Well… there was. But it all went to patients.

After a moment, Jesper said, “So… you heard that.”

Great. His anonymous roommate had heard his ma talking about his messy room. Among more embarrassing things.

“She seems nice,” his roommate said. “My mom’s a nurse, so I’m used to… you know, being asked about symptoms.”

“Great, I can’t wait to hear about whether or not you’ve pooped.”

“I’m not here for poop-related reasons.”

Jesper laughed.

***

It was much later when his roommate’s mom visited. Jesper’s da had been in and gone. Like Aditi, Colm was glad to see his son recovering. He had a more frank, less clinical way of saying how worried he had been. He brought Jesper a hat and socks for the cold, and two zipper bracelets and his infinity cube, so the nothingness of the room stopped grating on his nerves quite so badly. The feeling was difficult to describe—it was like having this emptiness building up against him so he couldn’t find a space to exist.

Jesper would always find something to fidget with, but knowing he had dedicated fidgets at hand softened an edge.

The roommates couldn’t see each other, but they could both see the door, so Jesper saw the woman with curly red hair come into the room and head over to his roommate.

“Hey, sweetpea.”

“Hi, Mom.”

That was… not his roommate’s voice. This voice was softer, higher, and a little nervous. Jesper couldn't help having his interest piqued by the shift. Sure, Jesper changed his tone with his parents, but he still sounded like Jesper. His roommate sounded like a stranger.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay. I… ———… we love you.”

Well, damn, his roommate was a girl! Jesper thought back over their conversation, searching for anything he might’ve said that he maybe shouldn’t’ve.

“I love you, too, Mom.” She sounded like it hurt to say.

“If this is about what your father said the other day, he… he needs you to be patient with him.”

“Okay.”

“He’s trying.”

Jesper was, by now, sitting very, very still. He knew this conversation wasn’t meant for him to hear, but in a small room, he couldn’t exactly not hear what was said a few feet away. So he tried to stay quiet and not make them feel self-conscious—and, if he was being completely honest, he was curious.

“Why do you excuse everything he does?”

“He’s not perfect, but he loves us. You’re still his little girl.”

“Okay.”

“———.”

“Could you just leave me alone, please?” said his roommate, in what Jesper could only describe as an amazingly rude way.

“———.”

“If you had to lose me or leave him, who would you pick?”

“That’s not fair.”

Jesper’s roommate said nothing.

“I’ll come back later. I hope you feel better then.”

Jesper settled back on the pillow and closed his eyes, doing his very best impression of sleeping. The door opened and closed, and they were alone. He stayed quiet for a moment, absently turning his infinity cube over and over in his hand. He had wanted to go back to talking with his roommate… but now he didn’t know what to say. That had been a heavy conversation to just ignore.

Then he realized his roommate was crying.

“Hey,” Jesper said. “———?”

She didn’t answer. 

“You okay?”

“That’s not my name.”

“Oh.” Jesper looked at the cube, clicking idly in his hand. He had no idea what was going on. “My name’s Jesper, but I guess you knew that since my ma visited. You want to play twenty questions? I got a good one. C’mon, you’ll never guess!” he wheedled.

After a moment, his roommate sniffled, then asked, “Person, place, or thing?”

***

“I feel wronged.”

Jesper snorted. Yeah, that was about the most accurate summary of their current situation. He still hadn’t seen his roommate, but they called to each other across the curtains. The entire situation looked brighter in the morning light. Jesper felt better. His body was rapidly putting the surgery behind him.

Even sunshine couldn’t fix the picture in front of him, though. Last night, his da had brought him food from home. No such luck today: Jesper sat up in bed, mournfully regarding the hospital’s breakfast tray.

He lifted the toast and gave it a shake. It wriggled.

“I think they steamed the toast,” he said.

His roommate laughed. “Think they toasted it first?”

Jesper set the toast aside. “You eating yours?”

“I can’t.”

“Me too. The apple looks okay.”

“Looks are deceiving things.”

Jesper bit into his apple and shuddered. He carefully removed the piece of fruit from his mouth, trying to pretend he hadn’t felt that mealy hellflesh. 

“Cereal and milk it is!” he announced. “I got Corn Flakes. You?”

“Rice Krispies.”

“This is blatant favoritism and I won’t stand for it!”

“You just had surgery, you’re not supposed to be standing at all.”

“Wow,” Jesper said, not at all appreciating that. It was true, but… wow.

He poured the mini box of corn flakes and carton of milk into his bowl. The breakfast tray was a depressing sight. There was steamed toast and an apple that was an insult to other apples. Still, at least he had juice to look forward to and the jello had been pretty good.

Halfway through his Corn Flakes, he asked, “So what are you in for, anyway? I had my appendix out.”

“I was sleepwalking—it’s dumb. I thought I was eating Skittles.”

“What were you really eating? Steamed toast?”

“Aspirin.”

“Oh, shit.”

“I was sleepwalking.”

“Yeah, totally,” Jesper said, trying to sound like he believed it. 

A while later, once the salvagable parts of breakfast had been endured, Jesper’s roommate appeared around the curtain, leaning on an IV stand. She was small, the sort of girl who looked like she would never be more than 5'. She had freckles and a curly red-gold ponytail, and if Jesper was being completely honest, she was cute.

“Want to play cards?” she asked.

“Um—I…”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“No, it’s cool.”

“I have a gambling problem,” Jesper blurted out. “I can’t… it’s really… I have a problem. But if we keep it chill?”

“Sure. How about Go Fish? No one gambles over Go Fish.”

Gamblers would gamble over anything, but she sounded so sweet and optimistic, he didn’t want to ruin her bright outlook.

“Sounds good.”

She sat on the end of his bed and dealt. 

They made it a few rounds without chatting much, then she said, “I’ll tell you my name, but you can’t tell anybody.”

Jesper wanted to ask why she was trusting him, but instead said, “I won’t.”

She leaned nearer and whispered it. Jesper had suspected something like this. He appreciated having it confirmed. Now that he knew, he rearranged his thoughts about his roommate to use the correct pronouns.

“Wylan’s a cool name.”

Jesper’s roommate smiled at his cards, a smile that was determinedly interrupted with a scowl.

“Not as cool as Jesper,” he continued, “but still pretty cool. You want to play again?”

By that afternoon, they had both seen their mothers again. Wylan’s mom seemed to really love him, Jesper thought, even if she did use his deadname. The visit still left Wylan withdrawn, but Jesper talked his new friend into another round of Go Fish. It wasn’t such a fun game. It was about the company, though said company remained gloomy. He had a scowl like thunder.

“Here, I have an idea.” Jesper pulled off his beanie. “Do you want to…?”

Wylan took the hat, pulled it on, and tucked his hair up under it.

“I hate feeling it,” he said. “That’s probably stupid, but I hate it! It’s stupid. You have long hair and you don’t look like a girl!”

“You don’t look like a girl, either. And you don’t sound like a girl, I thought you were a guy until I heard your mom say your name. Which now I know isn’t your name,” Jesper added. 

The stormclouds began to disperse. 

“When I was a kid, I used to imitate cartoons.”

“Oh yeah? Can you still do it?”

Jesper didn’t have to hear the answer—which was just as well, because Wylan didn’t give him one.

“Do one for me! C’mon, just one.”

Wylan shifted, keeping his eyes on their forgotten game of Go Fish. Then he said, “Meep meep!”

“Pfft, Road Runner doesn’t count.”

“Road Runner’s a cartoon!” “You said one word and it was onomatopoeia!”

“Okay, yeah, but… okay. Okay.” Wylan took a deep breath, settled his shoulders, and stared at the sheets with a deepening blush as he said, “Duck season! Wabbit season! Duck season! Wabbit season! Wabbit season! I say it’s duck season, and I say, fire!”

Jesper laughed. “That’s really good!” he said. He wasn’t laughing at Wylan, but because the impression was so good, almost like different people when Bugs and Daffy spoke. Besides, the cartoon was a classic. Wylan must’ve known, because he smiled.

[sabraeal]

Seven Swipes for Shirayuki, Chapter 1

Prologue

Obiyuki AU Bingo Medical Drama AU

Here it is guys, the modern AU version of Seven Suitors for Shirayuki that you all asked for and I thought I would never really write. Obviously the chapters for this will not be 1:1 with parallel content-- I think we ALL would like to avoid another Chapter 6-- but here at least is the beginning of what I’m sure will be a stupidly long journey.

Plink. Plink. Plink plink plink--

“You know.” Shirayuki sets her hands flat against the keyboard, the surest way to keep them from becoming fists. “I really don’t think the janitorial staff will appreciate having to get those down.”

Obi turns wide eyes on her, striving for an air of innocence she doubts he’s possessed since long before his voice dropped. “What do you men, Miss?”

He twirls a pen between his long fingers-- cheap ones, little blue Bics that hardly scratch out a solid line since the hospital cut down on frivolous spending-- and flicks his wrist. It flies unerringly upward, lodging itself firmly in the particleboard of the ceiling.

At least it won’t be lonely with all its friends to keep it company. “They can’t just leave those up there, Obi. It’s probably a fire hazard.”

At least, she thinks so. Considering how EHS feels about anything being on the floor besides furniture and feet, she can only imagine they have strong opinions on ceilings too.

Obi scoffs, languidly kicking his legs over the arm of his chair. Anyone else would look ridiculous, but with his long limbs and cunningly tailored suit, Obi just looks dangerous, like a panther behind glass.

“Don’t worry, Miss.” Another projectile unerringly hits its mark. “They’ll come down on their own.”

Her mouth flirts heavily with a frown. “So I can look forward to a pile of pens on my floor next Monday?”

“Nah.” Teeth flash between his lips. “It’ll be all cleaned up before you get here.”

Shirayuki stifles a sigh, turning her attention back to her notes. Exasperation only encourages him. “I’ll be done soon. If you want you can wait in the hall--”

“Miss.” He presses a hand to his chest, affronted. “Would I ever leave your side? What if something happened to you while there was this one, flimsy door between us? What would Master--”

“Don’t let Zen catch you calling him that.”

“--even do to me if some terrible fate befell you while I turned away for just one moment?” He blinks, far too innocent to be earnest. “You wound me, Miss.”

She lets out a huff, flyaways fanning out around her face. “Considering how many bags of Funyuns you’ve fished out of the vending machine the past year, I think it’s safe to say that nothing will happen to me if you choose to harass Higata down at the nurse’s station instead of me.”

His smile sits stiffly on his lips, pen stilling between his fingers. “It did happen, once.”

Her heart gives a single, loud pound in her chest. “Obi--”

“Anyway.” His smile slides into a smirk, sitting more comfortably on his face. “We’re back on days after this, aren’t we?”

Her fingers roll back into their rhythm, keys tacking pleasantly beneath them. “For a little while at least. Why, do you have exciting plans?”

“Miss.” His expression wilts like a plant left in the maintenance closet. “That’s what I’m asking you.”

She blinks. The answer is simple: lounge around in her scrubs-turned-lounge wear and catch up on The Great British Baking Show while eating a staggering amount of Thai food. But he should know that; it’s what she does every weekend after she’s been on nights, and he’s usually right there beside her, making inappropriate comments about Paul Hollywood’s piercing eyes and speculating if he comes by the last name honestly or whether he had a stint in the adult film industry.

(”It’s the future, you know.” She waggles his smart phone; hers is still in her bedroom. As nice a gesture as it was from Zen, she’s never quite gotten used to keeping it on her. “We could just google it.”

“No.” He turns to her, affronted. “I appreciate the thought, Miss, but there are some things you don’t google.”

She arches a brow, tucking her feet under his butt on the cushion. He lets out a put-upon grunt, but allows it. “You just don’t want to find out it’s some old, perfectly respectable English last name.”

“It’s not that,” he snips as Netflix rolls through to the next episode, promising nun-shaped pastries. “Knowing things ruins the mystique.”)

“I mean,” he sighs, “are you going out with the boss?”

“Oh!” She stares, helpless. “I don’t...know? He hasn’t said anything to me.” She gives the keyboard a few cursory pecks before asking, “Has he said anything to you?”

His expression only falls flatter. “Has he said anything to me about your theoretical romantic plans?”

Her cheeks prickle, the sure sign that a blush is starting to dawn. “Well, you usually know before me!”

“I...wish I could say that isn’t true,” he sighs, rolling until he’s sitting properly in his seat-- or at least, as properly as Obi ever does, slouched so low that his chin is level with the ankle crossed over his knee. “But it is. And no, I haven’t...heard of any plans.”

“There you have it.” She waves a hand and turns back to her work. “No plans. Just us, some Thai, and a bunch of decorative but delicious meat pies.”

“And Paul Hollywood’s piercing eyes,” he says with more relish than anyone should. “But you’re all right with that?”

“What? Of course.” She shrugs, clicking down to the last field. “He’ll call if he has time. And if not, there’s always next week.”

Obi arches an undeservedly dubious brow, in her opinion. “Next week?”

“Sure.” She barely pauses as she says, “Zen’s a busy man. And I’m a busy lady! I don’t need to see him every weekend. Or every week!”

“Right,” he huffs, “but you, you know, presumably would want to see him more than you did when we lived three thousand miles away.”

“Obi.” Shirayuki shoots him a warning look. “We see each other plenty, and certainly more than every six months--”

“Ten months.”

“Fine, ten months.” She shrugs, gazing fixing back onto her screen. “Still. We saw each other just last week.”

He blinks. “Last week?”

“Yes, last Saturday.” She tilts her chin up, chuffed she’s remembered it. “We went to the Getty Center to see the Monet exhibit.”

“Miss.” His mouth twitches. “That was three weeks ago, and you were bored out of your mind.”

Her jaw drops. “I-- I was not!”

“You kept calling him Manet, blamed it on your Portland ‘accent’--” Obi does some vigorous finger quotes she does not appreciate-- “when the curator corrected you, excused yourself halfway through and then speculated whether drowning was a peaceful death while we stared out at the Pacific.”

Her lips pull thin, and she pointedly shifts her attention back to the screen. “I need to finish this.”

Obi raises his brows, rucking up the silvery slash above his eye. “You were bored.”

“I’m not the biggest fan of art, no.” Her fingers hesitate above the keys. “Three weeks?”

He nods. “Three weeks.”

She grimaces. “All right, let me just get the notes for this discharge written up for Garrack, and we can head out.”

“Oh, the discharge?” Obi’s looking far too pleased with himself. “You mean the ultrasound girl?”

“Yes?” His sudden interest is unnerving, to say the least. “Third trimester pregnancy, lots of blood and cramping, thought she was losing the baby, ended up just having a ruptured luteal cyst.” She stares at him, brows drawing down in confusion. “Did Ryuu tell you about it?”

“Mm-hm.” If it was possible to look like those little mischievous kitty emojis he sends her, he’d be doing it now. “And that you held her hand through the whole sonogram dealie.”

“Well, yes. No one was with her.” The girl had been so pale she nearly matched the sheets. “I wasn’t going to let her find out she had a stillbirth by herself. That’s just cruel.”

His eyes melt from gold to amber. “Of course you wouldn’t, Miss.” In a breath that softness is gone, replaced by his Cheshire Cat grin. “But are you sure that’s all?”

“W-what else would it be?”

“Ryuu said you were very interested in that baby on the screen.”

“I’m an obstetrician, Obi--”

“No need to deny it, Miss,” he assures her. “I understand completely. After all, some of that may be in the cards for you, soon.”

Shirayuki stares at him. “A luteal cyst?”

Obi heaves a sigh. “No, Miss! Maybe you have--” he waggles his narrow brows-- “baby fever.”

“What?”

“It’s only to be expected, after all,” he says with a shrug, as if this were a done deal. “You and Master have been together for six years.”

Shirayuki nearly balks, nearly suggests that he takes a walk down to the pediatrics ward and ask to check out their number line--

Until she does some mental math of her own. It has been six years. “But I-- but we-- we haven’t--”

Obi’s brows lift in a terrible cross between amusement and curiosity. “You have talked about this, haven’t you?”

They most definitely have not, which didn’t seem like an oversight until just this moment, and now--

“Shirayuki.”

She jumps, eyes darting to the door. “Dr Gazalt! I didn’t-- I didn’t expect you.”

Garrack blinks, brows raising. “Yes, me. The one who is waiting for your shift notes. Higata tells me there’s a discharge I have to sign for?”

“Oh, yes. I--” she glances at the empty notes field-- “I’ll get that done right away. I was just, ah, finishing up now.”

“Hm,” Garrack grunts, gaze shifting to where Obi is contorted in his chair. “I can’t imagine what’s keeping you.”

“Why, Chief,” he gasps, pressing a hand to his chest. “You can’t possibly think I was being anything but the most helpful for Doctor--”

“Oh, I know what you were being.” There’s a twitch at the corner of her mouth, and a spark in her eye as she reveals, “A nuisance.”

“Chief.”

“I’ll be done in a minute!” Shirayuki interjects, too shrill. Both of them turn to her, brows raised mildly, and she adds, “Just, ah, give me some quiet.”

“You heard the lady, big boy.” Garrack grins. “Looks like you’ll be shadowing me.”

Obi’s expression rings with alarm. “Oh, I think I’m supposed to--”

“Oh no, you’re not escaping this time.” She reaches in, getting a good grip on his tie, and tugs. “I got some heavy things that need to be lifted.”

save me pls Miss

I’m almost done

Miss she wants me to help rearrange the stock room PLS hurry

Five minutes

im wasting away i can feel the life leaving my body

We’ll get breakfast This will go faster if you stop interrupting me

the angels are calling me home theres a light at the end of the tunnel Miss

Walk towards it This is probably your only chance at heaven

M I S S

It’s no use, Obi. I may be an optimist, but I’ve seen your search history

Touche

It’s not until she’s in the elevator that it hits her: she’s forgotten something.

Her brain is, as usual, coy with the rest of the information. Did she forget something important on her report? Did she leave her keys back on her desk? Does she have some appointment this evening that will keep her from getting confused every time someone says biscuit in the tent?

Nothing comes to mind, the answer hanging frustratingly out of reach. She’d have better luck trying to get Obi to talk about his past than she will trying to brute force this memory.

Shirayuki sighs. Time to check everything.

She’s wearing clothes-- check. They’re not her scrubs-- also check. Shoes match-- double check.

Her hand sweeps into her purse. Keys-- ouch, yep, check. Wallet-- check. Phone--

Buzzes hard against her palm.

Shirayuki blinks. It’s quick, only lasting a beat before it stops. Just a text, but-- it’s eight in the morning. Even with all her early-rising, day-shift doctor friends, this is well before their first morning coffee has kicked in. This is--

Weird. Worryingly weird. She drags the phone out of her bag, waking the screen to be greeted with 12 MISSED CALLS.

Shirayuki stares. That can’t be right. She’s kept her phone on her all shift, only tossing it into her bag when she’d stopped by her office to log her notes. There’s no way she’s had that many calls in an hour. And texts--

Well, that number is staggering. Her screen shows only the last one, a very cheerful, ill kill him and hide the body so well hell get famous as cold case from Yuzuri. She grimaces. Whatever Suzu’s done now, he’ll spend the whole day regretting it.

Well, that’s not exactly fair. It could be Kazaha, or even Shidan if he’d made her work down in the pharmacy hard enough. But...

It’s definitely Suzu.

She traces the appropriate squiggle onto her phone to open it and her homescreen unfurls before her. Her thumb hovers right above the little speech bubble--

A bright ding lets her know she’s arrived at ground level, and the entirely unamused bodyguard leaning against the doors lets her know that she’s late.

“Well,” she says, tipping the phone back into her bag. “You’re looking...hale?”

“I was promised breakfast,” he reminds her in a pleasant, if displeased rumble. “This is a thing that is happening.”

She makes sure to infuse some extra bounce into her step as she exits the elevator, earning a weary scowl. “Doctor Gazalt must have worked you hard.”

“Doctor Gazalt has some definite opinions about how her office should be arranged.” He raises a hand, rubbing pointedly at his neck. “What do they make the furniture out of here? Bricks?”

“Concrete, probably,” she agrees. “Pancho’s?”

He nods. “Spicy sauce. Extra spicy sauce. I’ll get the car.”

She grins. “Sounds like a deal. Meet me out font in ten?”

He lets out a huff. “I’ll meet you out front whenever I manage to lug my broken body across the parking garage and into the driver’s seat.”

“You poor baby,” she deadpans, patting his arm.

“I’ve suffered,” he tells her, affronted. “And don’t forget! Extra Spicy!”

The hospital is a cool cocoon, it’s temperature scrupulously maintained for the benefit of the labs and supplies inside, and so when Shirayuki emerges into the bright, May morning--

The heat hits her like a wall.

The air is oppressive; with each step it weighs her down, like a body laying across her back, and oh, she cannot wait until Obi gets here with the towncar, because there is no way she can last more than ten minutes without air conditioning.

Shirayuki has to laugh at that as she trudges down the granite stairs. She, who had spent her summers in a stuffy attic of an old Victorian house with only a single circular window to allow air in, happily devouring book after book as she laid on her bed with little more than underwear on, to whom air conditioning was a ridiculous luxury--

And now she can’t live without it. Probably couldn’t bear to sleep in a tiny twin bed either, with a mattress last changed out when she stopped wetting the bed. Not now that she’s experienced queen size and memory foam. Zen’s truly made sure she can never go home again.

Not that it was an option, anyway.

She oozes onto the pavement, taking a moment to really feel how sweaty twenty steps and thirty seconds can make her, and turns, goal blessedly in sight. Pancho’s lime green paint glistens in the morning sun, and the smell of meat cooking on the griddle inspires her to make the last three yard push. Well, that and she’s absolutely sure that Obi won’t let her in the car empty handed, not after he had to move Garrack’s desk.

“Good morning!” Shirayuki manages. “Two breakfast burritos. One...al pastor...extra spicy. The other...veggie? Mild.”

The vendor peers down from the counter-- it’s the dark-haired one, Shiira. Good. He won’t scream if she passes out in front of him. “Doing okay there, ma’am?”

“Never better,” she assures him, knuckles white where she grips the metal. It’s the only thing keeping her upright “I love heat. So much.”

His mouth curves into a faint smile, ringing up her order. “Boston thinned your blood, did it?”

“I’ll get used to it.” It’s been a year, sure, but it will happen at some point. It has to. “I did it before.”

He barks out a laugh, mouth opening to say more until his gaze catches over her shoulder. “Oh, can I take your order, sir?”

Shirayuki steps off to the side, her shoulder bumping hard into the magazine rack hanging off the window. It wibbles hard, metal banging against metal as it vibrates against the side of the truck. She catches it with a grimace, stilling it before it can make more of a racket, and glimpses the name WISTERIA on the front page. Her hand hovers, ready to grab it--

And catches the National Enquirer above it. Her hand jerks back like it’s been scalded. She doesn’t need to see any of that, thank you. Probably just more articles about Izana’s philandering ways.

She huffs out a laugh. Anyone who wrote about his wife crying in bed, unable to stand from grief has clearly never met her. Yuzuri’s probably read it already, with bullet points ready to bitch about, and--

Oh! Yuzuri. She digs into her bag, fishing out her phone. 12 MISSED CALLS sits bright on her welcome screen, nagging at her. As much as she wants to know just what ridiculous scheme has gotten Suzu in trouble now, she can always catch up later.

With a flick of her thumb she summons her call screen, and there it is, twelve calls missed, and all of them--

All of them are from Yuzuri.

Her heart pounds loud in her ears, the sound of the street around her muted. The screen won’t stay still, making words blur as if she’s trying to read in a dream, as if any moment they’ll drip off the page.

But it’s no dream. She’s had twelve calls from Yuzuri in the past hour, and her hands are trembling.

Something must have happened. Suzu’s hurt, or Kirito’s sick, or-- or--

What had her text said? She swipes a thumb, ready to find out, but--

Her phone buzzes, right in her hand. Shirayuki stares at it, dumb. She must have forgotten to turn on the ringer.

YUZURI it reads, and her heart skips a beat.

“Is everything okay?” she breathes the moment the call connects, one hand clenched in her collar.

“No, nothing is okay,” Yuzuri snaps, voice crackling in that way that means both danger and most probably homicide. “I will fly out there and help you hide the body. There are lye pits everywhere, Yuki.”

She blinks, head jerking back from the whiplash. “Excuse me?”

“Or I’ll do the job myself, if you want,” she continues, undaunted. “I’m sure a rich kid like him has a lot of enemies. We’ll never get caught.”

“Yuzuri.” She shakes her head. “Who on earth are you talking about?”

“Wha--? Zen!” she says, exasperated. “You mean he hasn’t even told you?”

“Told me what?”

“Oh my god,” Yuzuri breathes. “I can’t-- you haven’t even seen the news?”

“I was on nights.” She turns to the rack behind her, riffling through the magazines. “I didn’t really have time to-- oh. Oh my.”

WISTERIA WEDDING BELLS TO RING AGAIN! the tabloid boasts, showing Zen right on the front, his hair tousled as he steps down from the private jet. She’d laugh it off, just like she always does-- she’d lost count of the number of times they reported his engagement to Kiki before she got married, and Obi made a habit of buying anything that reported them having an affair so he could snapchat it to Kiki at his leisure-- but this-- this--

(”Is everything all right?” She picks her head up from his shoulder, but beneath her palm she can still feel his heart racing. The movie keeps playing on the screen, something fraught and in French, and when he stares down at her, she can see the white all around his eyes, shining in the dark.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” His arm wraps tighter around her, and he gives her a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. She’s never realized how much he looks like Izana until now.

She raises a brow. “You seem tense.”

“Ah.” he shifts beneath her, gaze flicking back to the TV. “Yeah, I just-- have a project I have to finish up next week. Just...starting to really feel the deadline. You know how it is.”

A line carves a chasm between his eyebrows, worn by the inexorabe waters of worry. There’s never much she can do for him, the man who wears the weight of the world on his back, but-- but she can do this, sitting back on her knees, fiddling with the watch around her wrist.

“Here,” she says, pulling it tight around his.

He stares down at it, confused, and she smiles. There’s something perversely gratifying to giving a man who has everything something so second-hand it still has the heat from her body. “What--?”

“My lucky watch.”

He tilts his eyes up to watch her, so blue in the dim. “Is this the one I gave to you?”

“After I broke yours?” She nods, smile tilting ruefully. “And now I’m lending this to you. Bring it back safe.”

His fingers brush it, almost reverent. Zen may not let her bear any of his burden, but she can make it feel lighter, even if only for a while. “I...will.”)

Her watch gleams from beneath the cuff of his blazer, visible as he holds out an arm to help a pair of shapely legs behind him. The cover creases in her hands, cracking under her grip, and--

“Are you going to buy that too?” Shiira asks, somehow both pointed and concerned.

Shirayuki shakes herself. The tabloids are always quick to speculate, slapping fiancée over any woman he shared air with for more than a minute. This doesn’t have to mean anything.

And it wouldn’t, not if she hadn’t already thought--

“Shirayuki?” Yuzuri prompts, alarm ringing through every syllable. “Are you--?”

“I’m fine.” It’s not a lie if she doesn’t know whether or it’s true. “I just have to-- I’ll have to call you back.”

She hangs up with Yuzuri mid-breath, doubtlessly gearing up to give her an earful of opinions. It’s rude, yes, but she can hardly think past the next name on her list, scrolling until ZEN WISTERIA lights up on the screen.

It’s a mistake, it has to be. It’s just some picture, out of context, slapped right onto the page like it means something.

Two foil-wrapped packages slide toward her. “That will be seven forty--”

You’ve reached the voice mail of Zen. Wisteria. Please leave a message at--

“This too,” she says, slapping the rag on the counter.

Shiira stares at her, wide-eyed.

She coughs, arranging it with slightly more care. “And, um, a horchata. Please.”

You’ve reached the voice mail of Zen. Wisteria. Please leave a message at the tone.

Shirayuki shifts her load to the crook of her elbow, nibbling at a cuticle. “Hi. It’s, um, me again. I just got off shift, and I--” she takes a long, hard breath, and switches tack-- “just call me. Whenever you can. I’ll keep my ringer on.”

A black sedan slips up to the curb, the passenger side door stopping right at her toes. The window scrolls down with a soft hum, and Obi stretches across the seat, his mouth rucking up in a smirk. “Come on, Miss, we don’t have all--”

His whole body stiffens, the warm amber of his eyes fixed to her face. “Miss,” he breathes, lips hardly moving, knuckles white where he grips the console. “Miss, what’s wrong. Are you--?”

She shoves the magazine through the window, crumpling it into his hands. “Miss, what--?”

He stares. Obi might not recognize the watch-- might not even know she had given it away-- but oh, he can recognize the ring.

“That’s Mrs Wisteria’s--”

“Yes.” She can’t even bear to hear it spoke. “Yeah.”

His brow furrows. “There has to be some explanation. You know how these rags like to come up with--”

“He won’t pick up.” Her voice cracks, but she can’t-- she can’t do this here, right on the sidewalk. Not in front of her hospital. His hospital. “Or Mitsuhide. Or Kiki. I don’t...”

Know what to believe. her lips catch the words before they slip out. If she doesn’t say it, it can’t be true, it can’t be real, this can’t be happening.

“We’ll figure it out,” Obi tells her, but his voice wavers, and his hands clench tight on her seat. “Just get in and we’ll--”

Her phone cuts him off. She jumps to answer it, glancing down at the screen to see--

Oh. Oh no.

IZANA WISTERIA, it reads.

“Oh,” Obi breathes. “Shit.”

[abovethesmokestacks]

Together, Apart

Title: Together, Apart

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Rating: G

Wordcount: 1.2k

Warnings: fluff? Idk, the world is weird right now.

For @hispeculiartreasure​, because I can’t physically be there. Right now, the world is a tough place, but I’m hoping this might cheer you up a little while we make the best of social distancing and quarantine. This sort of works as a pseudo-sequel to Whenever.

“I hate this.”

You didn’t need to look to your right to know Steve was there, sitting like you were on his roof, knees drawn up and arms locked around them. Close enough to hear each other, to talk, to see each other, but still an unfathomable distance away. Fifteen feet had never felt this far away.

“I know,” he said, inching closer to the edge of the roof, closing whatever distance he could.

“My parents are both getting sick, I’m working and trying not to drown in everything, I’m doing grocery runs and picking up stuff from the pharmacy, I’m trying to take care of myself, and everywhere I turn, there’s a news bulletin and everything is just disaster and death.”

Finally, you looked up, finding Steve’s eyes on you. He held out his hand, reaching for you, and you held out yours. It was as close as the two of you got these days. Both of you were working, social distancing demanded its space and things seemed busier than ever before. Crawling up on the roof and jumping over for quick little dates had seemed romantic and cute months back, but now you’d do anything for the normal kind of dates where you went out, saw a movie, had a meal, stood close enough that you could lean in and hear the other person’s heartbeat.

“My mom’s been doing double shifts at the hospital. I’ve told her to call me every time she gets off a shift, no matter what time, and every time, my heart almost beats outta my chest because I’m so afraid she’ll cough or say she’s feeling ill.”

Comforting words sat right on the tip of your tongue, but Steve’s humourless chuckle had you furrowing your brow instead.

“God, I feel so bad for her right now. This… This has to be how she felt whenever I was sick when I was a kid. Jesus, I must have scared her half to death so many times.”

“You… were sick a lot?” you asked.

You knew Steve well enough, but your paths had crossed later in life, and there had never been all that many stories about either of you growing up. It didn’t seem important at the time.

“Nurses in the pediatric ward knew me by name. I think they had my journal stashed somewhere within hand’s reach, always ready whenever I was admitted.” He saw the worried look on your face, and quickly added, “It wasn’t anything serious, I mean- Or, well, at the time, it was, I- I had like a year where I kept getting sick, and it turned out I had a crappy immune system, so I got everything and then some. I got medication to compensate, so I’m okay, and it’s mostly all good now.”

“But this virus… it could be bad for you?” you asked, the feeling of dread that had been simmer in your stomach for days suddenly flaring up at this potential fuel for a freakout.

“Not as bad as it could have been if I was still that kid. I promise, I’m okay. I wash my hands, I’ve got meds to take if something happens and I’ve had to swear on my nana’s grave that I’ll call if I get symptoms. I’m fine. Mostly just bored. Netflix only has so many good shows and movies.”

“You feel so disconnected,” you added, looking up at the sky. “I have skype meeting with my co-workers and we email all day, and I’ve got my parents, but it’s as if, I don’t know, the world has just been paused and everyone’s frozen in this weird limbo. Everyone’s afraid, no one’s touching anyone. I’m beginning to see why touch starvation is a thing, I mean- Steve?”

The last thing you saw of him was his long legs disappearing in through the open window, followed by a dull crash. Great. Great great fucking great. Even your boyfriend was getting tired of you and is running for the hills. Christ, you should just call it a night. Even with the commute cutting down on how early you’ve had to get up in the mornings, sleep had still been elusive and you had tossed and turned through the last few nights. Standing up, you stretched, letting your joints pop and shivering at the cool night air.

“Hey! Catch!”

The lump came flying at you, and it was only by virtue of having quick reflexes that it didn’t hit you square in the face. You gave a shrill yelp at the same time Steve let out a loud “shit!” The lump was soft, and in the dusk of the evening it took a moment for you to realize it was one of his sweaters.

“You gotta stop doing this,” you grumbled, still smiling at him as you turned over the sweater.

“I told you, I wasn’t aiming at you! You were just kind accidentally where my shoe landed!” Steve defended himself before nodding at you. “Go on, open it.”

The sweater was bundled up, tied together with the sleeves, and when you pulled at them, a book and a picture clattered down.

“It was the best idea of a care package I could think of on short notice,” he told you, arms crossed over his chest.

The book was a dog eared copy of Pride & Prejudice, while the picture was one of him, from the looks of it at least ten years ago. He was lankier in it than he was now, a goofy grin on his face with hair sticking in every direction. He’s crouched next to the grumpiest looking bulldog you’d ever seen, his smile a beautiful and hilarious contrast to the dog.

“You told me you forgot your copy of Pride & Prejudice on a train and you haven’t had the opportunity to get a new copy. We had to read it for one of my college classes, and I remember thinking it wasn’t all that good, but I started rereading it again after you said how good it was, and I thought, hell, if you like it, it’s gotta be good. And I know I can’t hug you, but that sweater is really warm and cosy. And clean, so you don’t gotta worry about germs.”

You could cry for the sweetness of it, but your mouth split into a smile when you looked back down at the photo, “And this?”

Steve smiled in return, shuffling a little awkwardly on his feet.

“For that. To see you smile.” 

You pulled the sweater on. It didn’t smell like him, that heady scent of his cologne and the warmth of his body, but it was his and it was soft and you let the sleeves hang like sweater paws.

“Thank you, I… God, I really needed this.”

“The least I could do. Really.” His face softened, and he held out his hand again, straining for that touch that you couldn’t have. “I know this sucks. It sucks a lot. But this is temporary. Today will move on to tomorrow, and the next day and one day it’ll be over and we’ll have lived and we’ll be okay. We’re still together. Just apart.”

You couldn’t stop the tears even if you tried, and you nodded solemnly at him, waving when he bid you goodnight and throwing him a sweater paw kiss. Things would be fine. This was temporary. You’d be fine, both of you. Together, apart.