#and I think what I fear the most is if I ever do find love I’m going to be sorely disappointed to find out I still have this massive

[nnnyxie]

dabi, hawks, bakugo, & kirishima with a civilian s/o

requested by @crimsonredlotus

“I would like to do a request!

Head canons for Dabi, Hawks, Bakugo, and Kirishima, with a civilian lover/partner?😩🫶 Maybe you could also add on how their friends react? I think it would be funny.👀

Plus any other you might wanna throw in <3”

dabi / todoroki touya:

⤷ him having a civilian partner is so….. interesting.

⤷ i think you’d have to really sympathize with him or just be completely oblivious. i just can’t really see him being with a civilian considering his status.

⤷ but if he was with one— it was possibly because you treated him like a human being despite how he looks/who he is.

⤷ dabi would definitely make sure your relationship wasn’t known to any rivals or pros, as they could weaponize you against him or take you to jail for being an ‘accomplice’.

⤷ if the LOV (pre season 6) found out he was dating a civilian, there’d be mixed reactions—

⤷ toga, twice, and compress would be supportive. at least that’s what i think.

⤷ kurogiri and spinner would be very cautious and on edge.

⤷ and shigaraki would hate it. he feared you’d end up becoming a liability but!! thanks to much convincing (from dabi and most of the league), he let it pass.

⤷ anyways.

⤷ i think he’d be more careful with a civilian partner.

⤷ like— when you both go out, he takes a lot more precautions. he covers up more than he usually would and he doesn’t steal as much or at all.

⤷ he’s not a good partner at first, he didn’t have the best example growing up. his views are warped.

⤷ but he grows and learns (and gets scolded by toga), he becomes a good bf!

hawks / takami keigo:

⤷ had to subside my hatred for him to do this request…

⤷ anyways,

⤷ hawks having a civilian s/o just makes sense.

⤷ he likes the normality you bring him after a long day of hero work.

⤷ he appreciates his fans, he really does— but, it gets tiring being the ‘mellow, happy’ hero all the time.

⤷ and the emotional toll that comes with being a pro— he just needs that comfort. that safe warmth you provide at the end of a long day.

⤷ he never intended for your relationship to become public.

⤷ one day, it just sort of happened.

⤷ he saw you while on patrol and on instinct he went to you.

⤷ normally it’d be seen as a cute fan interaction but before he left he said “see you at home” and everyone lost it.

⤷ it surprised his fans that he’s with a civilian but to his colleagues, they weren’t shocked at all.

⤷ when the talk of relationships found their way into conversations, he would always mention how he’d want a civilian partner.

⤷ they already knew of you, obviously. you always attended any gatherings with him.

⤷ i think he’s very attentive but he has those moments where he gets completely sucked into work and accidentally ignores you.

⤷ him ignoring you is never intentional but when he realizes that’s what he’s doing or when you communicate that with him, he snaps out of it and does his best to make it up to you.

⤷ he likes buying you things— that’s definitely his love language. even if it’s something small, he’ll get it cause it reminds him of you!

⤷ he wants to treat you the best he’s able to—

⤷ he wants to give you everything he can.

bakugo katsuki:

⤷ i think bakugo having a civilian s/o is so cute bc it’s so out of the ordinary for him.

⤷ like— you’d never guess he’d ever look at anyone that regard, let alone a civilian.

⤷ but the first time you both had met— it was the sweetest thing. it was as if love at first sight was real.

⤷ you probably caught his attention by warding off a villain on your own or something of the sort.

⤷ hence, the love at first sight.

⤷ i think he finds your quirk super useful and sometimes berates you for not becoming a hero.

⤷ of course he respects your choice not to— but, still. he thinks you would’ve been a badass pro.

⤷ i don’t think his friends would find out about your relationship until he casually mentioned having them over to meet you. (he loves his friends and wants their approval)

⤷ now— when the public finds out about the relationship, all hell breaks loose!!

⤷ it’s on every headline. ‘pro hero dynamight spotted with secret lover!’

⤷ the two of you end up sitting down and talking about this for hours— deciding to confirm and reveal your relationship.

⤷ once that happens, he’s a openly affectionate with you.

⤷ he’s very big on dates, absolutely loves to take you out on them—

⤷ so now that your relationship is public, he’s so happy bc he can take you to more places.

⤷ he’s a bit of a worry wart, believe it or not.

⤷ he knows that you can handle your own but, still. he needs to know you’re safe at all times.

⤷ he’s big on acts of service so he’s always doing something for you. whether it be organizing something you’ve been putting off or learning to cook your favorite meal.

kirishima eijiro:

⤷ i don’t think anyone would be surprised that he has a partner that’s not a hero.

⤷ he doesn’t care about status or things that most (superficial) heroes do.

⤷ he’s the classic ‘personality first, beauty second’ type of man and we love that!!

⤷ i think he’d be very open about your relationship!!

⤷ i picture him being with a childhood friend— he just screams ‘childhood friends to lovers’

⤷ his friends are very aware of who you are. he talks about you as if you are a god(dess).

⤷ he practically worships the ground you walk on!!

⤷ the media definitely tries to spin your relationship but he never lets that shit slide. he always calls out their bullshit!!

⤷ there are points where he gets a bit too aggressive with them so you have to reel him back and help his pr team out a bit. (he’s just a silly fella!)

⤷ he’s like,,, the dream bf.

⤷ attentive, patient, gentle (with you), kind, etc etc

⤷ weaponized incompetence? never heard of her!! he’s willing to do anything and everything for you.

⤷ he learns about all of your favorite things— shows, movies, music, etc. he wants to like what you like (though sometimes he just can’t).

my hatred for hawks is justified!! i cannot forgive him for what he did to my pookie bear…………

[knavesflames]

🚪 Hey you! 🫵 Yeah, I'm pointing at you!

I, anonymous de anon III, proclaim the need to have another chapter for the childhood friend fanfiction with Arlecchino. The ones with spider and geode, yeah, that one!

Ahem

Shall I have the audacity to reveal myself, naur.

Maybe, when I wake up. ⏰️

I'm just really riding the concept of an insect and geo hyperfixated couple with the angsty reconnection trope, that's so chef's kiss unique 💋 ✨️.

Maybe some smut with some deck 🤔

Well, up to you and your imagination 🌌

Hello! Thank you for liking them :] I didn’t think I’d write for that trope again but as you wish😌 sorry it took some time 💔

This is part one, and this is part two!

Contents: strap on, kissing, reader is very sad, Arlecchino just wants to love her:(

Word count: 3004

Nsft utc!

Your guard is still up. You are wary, and you’re unsure if it’ll ever pass. With you practically giving her no option but to make the first move with everything, whether that’s some sort of safety net that she won’t stand you up, or if it’s reassurance she’s not leaving you again, it’s difficult to tell, you still have yet to come out of your anxious shell. If you both plan to meet at the cafe across the street, you wait until you see her there before you make an appearance. If you both are studying in the library, you wait for her to make eye contact, only for your face to flush pink as you look down. It sows seeds of doubt in Arlecchino‘s mind, what if you don’t actually forgive her? What if you’re playing some cruel joke to make her feel the way she made you feel that day? But she knows your nature is too kind for that, she knows you’re scared, anxious to have a friend and not lose them. She sees you paying just a little too much attention to the way you act, almost making sure you act more ‘normal’. When you take hikes in the mountains to look at insects and rocks together, she sees the way you gaze at a rock you so want to pick up and inspect, the way you restrain your excitement when you see a possible fossil, or a new find to go in the drawer of your desk. She always sees, because she’s always watching you. How could she not? The woman is completely infatuated with you. If she could, if you’d let her, she’d kiss you in the cafe, with that silly chocolate moustache you always have when you drink your mochas. It’s “adult hot chocolate”, you say, to which she can’t help but nod, agreeing with her eyebrows raised in silent amusement.

Neither of you want to admit you’ve grown quite fond of each other. Nor do you want to admit you spend most of your time together. Neither of you say anything about what this is becoming, perhaps for fear of shattering what has only just been sculpted. You often watch her murmur to the spiders she catches for you in your dorm room before putting them outside (because, of course, you had to be given the room that every insect loves. You say they’re tormenting you because you’re too weird to have human friends. Arlecchino says it’s a testament to your nature, that small, harmless creatures take cover in your room instead of anyone else’s. It makes you feel better, even if you don’t say it). Arlecchino says she only comes to your dorm because she gets to enjoy the company of the spiders, not you, but one look in her eyes and you’d know she’s lying through her teeth. You’re lying too. You learned to take the spiders away when she first showed you, but you let them stay until Arlecchino comes to take them. You like to watch the small smile grow on her usually stoic face before it fades once more. Seeing you cower away from the insects is the equivalent of seeing a kitten scared of a cucumber, she thinks. So silly, yet so adorable.

But your reconnection isn’t without struggle. You haven’t opened up fully, both of you wonder if you ever will. You clam up even more when her friends appear. Your brain is screaming at you to fix everything to seem more normal, not weird. Straighten your posture, don’t tuck your hair behind your ear, take your hands out of your pockets.. without the pebble. You adjust yourself so much that your intention to appear more normal fails completely. And when you turn to walk away, you grimace, muttering curses to yourself. Arlecchino wishes you would just let people see you for who you are. You are weird, but so is she. She just doesnt care enough to hide it. And now, you both sit on the floor in the middle of the forest, her building a little ant house, you inspecting rocks, mostly in silence, before she does speak up, softly, so she doesn’t disturb the ants.

“What happened today?”

“What?”

“You have been different. You were crying when you came out of your geology class.”

“I was not.”

“Do not start lying to me now.”

You sigh, annoyed at her observation. You didn’t want to speak about it, don’t want to speak about it, but the look in her eyes says you don’t have a choice. She’s concerned, her hand still in the air, holding a small twig as she waits for you to speak.

“It was just someone in my class. They’re friends with someone from school.”

“Okay. Why did that make you sad?”

“They called me weird.”

“Ah.”

There doesn’t need to be anything else said. She knows how her that word has affected you, to the point she knows you used to write it on your mirror, where you whisper it to yourself any time something went even remotely wrong. She found that out when she stayed over one night and went to the bathroom while you were sleeping. The messily, angrily scrawled word written with your favourite lip stick across the mirror shocked her, yet saddened her beyond words. Silently, she wiped it away, despite it being past midnight before padding her way to your desk, stealing a sticky note before sticking it to your mirror, her scrawly yet somehow elegant writing decorating the yellow paper: “Most people consider insects weird, but I’m equally as fascinated by them as I am you.” She said nothing of it until she left, letting you find it on your own. And you did, three hours after she left, your eyes red and glassy from crying once she did depart. You don’t know why you can’t just feel normal, and you even though you try, it just doesn’t seem to work. In your brain, her compassion isn’t warranted. You’re prepared to wake up one day for it all to be some new sick way of tormenting you. It seems to most people like you’re simply being sensitive, by reacting so strongly to that one word, but you’re not. She knows that, too.

So, when she receives a message at 11:48pm from you (you’ve said there’s a spider in your room. You are lying.) after you’ve had a particularly bad day, she’s out of the door before you can even read her response.

You lay under your favourite blanket, huddled in baggy clothes with red eyes and raw skin under your nose with the amount of sniffling you’ve been doing. You can hear her footsteps approach, her usual heels clacking against the wood before slowing, and finally stopping. She doesn’t knock yet, and you look at the door with hopeful eyes, just waiting for her to knock. When she doesn’t, when she stands there motionless outside of your door, your eyes lower, a pit in your stomach forming and an ache in your chest pinning you to your bed as you think the joke is finally coming to an end. Your teeth clench as you suck in a silent breath, your thoughts chanting, “no”, screaming at you to not cry while you can still see her shadow from under the door. Arlecchino, on the other hand, is completely nervous. Why, she doesn’t know, and she probably couldn’t find out. Her hand is raised in a fist, ready to knock, but she can’t bring herself to. She wonders if it’s because she likes you so much, and before she can come back to reality, five minutes have passed and she’s still stood there. She scolds herself mentally before bringing her fist to the door gently, once, then twice, in her signature pattern.

Your eyes lift once again, and you swallow your shaky voice, clearing your throat before you speak. When you do, your voice is quiet, hoarse from the amount of quiet sobbing you’ve been doing into your pillow today.

“It’s open.”

When she steps into the dorm room, which is unusually dimly lit for your tastes, she’s noticed, her eyes scan around, looking for the spider you claim to be terrorising you. She can’t see it, but her eyes land on you, your frame curled into yourself with a puffy face, a couple of tissues by your bed, and your rocks.. on the floor.

“I see the spider has infiltrated your rock display?”

“Yes. Stupid spider.”

“Hey. They have feelings, too. Where is the little guy?”

“I think he ran off.”

You glance back and forth from her face and the rock display, or rather, what’s left of it. It was fine four hours ago, different geodes and fossils placed perfectly with neatly written labels underneath describing what they are and where you found them. Now, the labels are ripped up, scattered on the floor next to the pile of rocks you’ve thrown. Arlecchino’s eyebrow twitches up as she observes the scene around her. Then, it hits her. There was no spider. Something has happened and the only person you could think, or want to tell, was her. Her face softens, even if just a little as she moves to perch on the edge of your bed.

“What happened?”

“Nothing. The spider was running everywhere.”

“Spiders can’t rip up paper. Talk to me.”

Your eyes grow misty once more and your voice shakes this time when you speak. One word spills, then more, until you’re rambling about what happened today, your voice hitching as you try to take breaths without breaking out into a sob. How the girls in your one geology class shamed you once more for being so interested in a certain formation that you began excitedly speaking about it at the end of class. How it ended with you being ridiculed and told to shut up and get a life, that nobody will ever want you, and to stop being so weird. You keep rambling and breathing so fast you begin hyperventilating and sobbing at the same time. Your hands are trembling, and in turn, Arlecchino’s eyes narrow, her lips twisting into a sad, sympathetic frown. And when she realises you’re working yourself up too much, she realises that she has to calm you down. Calling your name doesn’t help, her hand squeezing yours doesn’t help, so, in a moment of slight panic, she gently holds your face between her thumb and forefinger, bringing your lips to hers the way she does every so often.

Your lips meet in a soft, gentle kiss as her thumb moves softly across your cheek. Your breath is stopped for only a second, but it’s long enough for your lungs to regulate the intake of oxygen and stop your hyperventilation. When your lips part, your foreheads touch, her other hand coming up to caress your other cheek as she whispers softly to you, calming you the way it seems only she can.

“Be quiet. None of that is true.”

“It is, you know it is, everyone at this college knows, everyone in school knew, it’s true, nobody does want me—“

“I want you. I like you.”

Your lips meet again, your move this time. It’s become obvious over the months, or year, by this point, that you like each other, with the constant spending time together, the occasional kissing and even the occasional sex that you both think about for days afterwards. Your hands move over her charred ones, your fingers curling over her palms as your lips slowly move, your breath still hitching occasionally, though less so, your breath more even. Your right hand card through her hair, moving into the base of her ponytail, your long nails scratching gently into her scalp the way you know she loves. In turn, her lips move from your lips across your jaw, towards your neck, lips moving slowly, then quickly, then slowly again as she listens to your breath, how it quickens with every touch of her lips against your skin. Her fingers slowly slip under your sweater, tracing the soft skin of your stomach and your ribs as she murmurs against your collarbone.

“I don’t understand why you wear these baggy clothes. You have such a nice body.”

With your sweater raised to your stomach, her hand ever so gently pushes you down onto your bed until your head is on the pillow, your hair splayed out around you. Her lips move to your stomach, kissing over your navel and upwards, lips tracing over each bone of your rib cage, moving upwards until she nips gently, playfully, at your chest. Your grip on her hair pulls her up towards your lips instead, whispering as you close your eyes in embarrassment.

“Why do you always kiss my chest? I hate it.”

“It’s beautiful. I adore it.”

“There’s nothing there, Arlecchino.”

“So you say. I don’t recall saying that I cared about the size of it. I said it’s beautiful, so let me.”

You know if you really didn’t want to, she’d stop, but the way your grip loosens slightly and your head tilts back is a silent confirmation that she can continue, so she does. Her tongue darts out to harden the buds on your chest, smiling into your skin when a sound almost like a moan escapes you, much to your dismay. You sit up, flipping the positions as you repeat her motions, listening to her sped up breath as you suck on the skin of her breasts, leaving small love bites. She would never admit it, but she adores staring at them when she’s alone again, memories of your lips there flashing through her mind. Her back arches, pushing her breasts further into your mouth before she lifts you, moving you back onto the bed before she whispers once more.

“I left it here last time. Did you throw it away or did you keep it?”

“I kept it. It’s under my sweaters in the drawer.”

You don’t need to speak again because she’s already off the bed, rummaging through before she quickly comes back holding a strap on, one of her favourites, actually, and she hasn’t said, but she left it here so she could use it with you again. It isn’t big, but it fits you perfectly, makes you feel good in the best way, and she loves to see your face when you cum on it. You watch hungrily as she attaches it to herself, your previous mood forgotten, the rocks on the floor gone from your mind completely.

“Lift your hips, pretty girl.”

She guides your hips into lifting up just enough so she can slide your panties, now almost transparent from just how soaked you’ve become, down your legs, letting them land quietly on the floor. Her hands pry your thighs open just a little, encouraging you because you always seem to get shy, no matter how much you enjoy it. The silicone, dark red and black, moves between your legs, the tip of it knocking against your clit, causing you to gasp, your hands moving, one clutching her bicep, the other around the back of her neck. She grinds the strap on your clit for a little while, getting you used to the material, getting you excited and wanting more. And she can tell when you’re ready, when you bite your lip and wiggle your hips in a way that tries so hard to get her to slide into you. Her forehead rests on yours, eyes closing as she moves her hips the same time you move yours, your pussy sucking her in like lungs needing air. Both of you groan quietly, and after a few seconds, her hips start slowly pumping into you. Your voice comes out in small, broken moans, your eyes squeezed shut as you nod in approval every so often.

“It’s good?”

“So good.”

“You’re taking it well, sweet girl.”

“God, you’re amazing.”

Usually Arlecchino finds pleasure in teasing you, slowing down just before your orgasm to draw it out, to keep her hand gently squeezed around your throat or to make you cum more than once just to hear your overstimulated whines. Tonight, she will not. Tonight, she will love you silently and give you what you need, make you forget about all the negative things in your brain. Her hands move to the rough patch on your thigh, feeling each scarred bump, silently counting to make sure you haven’t added another to the horrid, horrid collection you’ve acquired. Satisfied, her hand weave into your hair, occasionally tugging to keep you going. Her other hand moves down to your pelvis, her thumb ghosting over your clit in small circles, helping you along as your small moans become louder whimpers.

“Arlecchino, I think—“

“Do it, then. You deserve it. Cum for me, beautiful.”

It’s all the ammunition you need, your back arching, your hips bucking up as she angles the strap perfectly to hit the spongy spot inside of you again and again before you gasp once more, a long, drawn out moan as your body trembles, Arlecchino’s voice whispering lovingly.

“Good girl. Good, that’s good. You did so well.”

Your eyes finally open, your body finally relaxing as she slows to a stop, then pulls out, both of you scoffing with a laugh as the silicone makes a popping sound when it comes out of you. The pillow sinks slightly as her head moves to rest on it next to you, her fingernails gently tracing your arm. She can’t help but notice your eyes moving towards your (now ruined) rock display, and she speaks.

“Shall I help you make a new one?”

“You dont have to.”

“I want to. I was going to ask you, too, there’s a new science museum in the next town over. They have a feature on different bugs and their habitats, and they have a feature on geodes. Would you—“

“Yes.”

[cameronspecial]

I wanted to ask if you could write something with rafe where reader does selfharm and he finds out? Maybe with a soft version of rafe

Not Going Anywhere

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: SELF-HARM and Talks of DEPRESSION (Please don't read if these are a trigger).

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.1K

A/N: If you or anyone you know are experiencing depression, then please know you are not alone and there are people who can help. The internet has information on the best places for you to go to in your country. Not tagging anyone just in case this is a trigger for anyone on my tag list.

Masterlist

It isn’t for attention. That is one assumption most people make whenever they see the scars. It’s the reason why she hides them on her hips. She doesn’t have to worry about anyone seeing it because no one sees her naked, not even her boyfriend. The only times the marks see the light of day are when she changes or showers. She makes sure the cuts made can be hidden by her underwear and any panties or bikini bottoms she buys need to pass that test as well. 

No matter how wrong she knows it is, she can’t help but hold the cold sharp blade against the tough skin. It is resting on top of a barely healing scar because she has no other place for it. Her breath hitches as she pulls the Exacto knife across her, going a little farther than the mark already made. Tears are running down her face. Her eyes blur as she repeats the motion below the blooming red line. Her breath is uneven and hitches every time the metal touches her skin. In some sick way, the pain gives her a small relief. It gives her a reason.

Most people wonder why someone would cause harm to themselves. They would guess that the despair is caused by a lack of food, shelter, money, clothes or love. However, Y/N doesn’t have that issue. How could she when she is a kook? No, she has never felt hunger or fear and that is the cause of the turmoil inside of her head. Nonetheless, ever since she entered teenhood, she would experience these months-long periods of extreme sadness. She would do her best to hide them from everyone by pushing herself to get out of bed and go to activities that she would normally enjoy. She would make sure to cry when no one else was at home and to track her family members’ phones to verify she was alone. It was a secret she kept so deep within her that she started to question why she felt this way. That is when the true problems began. She felt guilty for feeling this despair without a reason and it was furthered by the secrets she had to keep, so she began to self-harm as her reason. In her brain, partly because of what society has told her, she needed a reason for why she was melancholy because there are people in the world who were dealt much tougher times in life. 

So, that is how she finds herself standing in front of the mirror, holding down the right side of her underwear and dragging an Exacto knife along her skin. She has fallen into one of her episodes and this time, it is the worst one to date. She has never pressed so hard into her skin with the blade. It has never bled this much. She curses as the blood begins to seep into the cotton of her underwear. Her attention is on stopping the red from staining her clothes, so she doesn’t hear the front door open. 

Rafe whistles whilst he uses his copy of the key to open Y/N’s front door. People thought it was too early when they exchanged house keys after only six months of dating. They didn’t though. It felt like the next step when she told him that she was saving herself for marriage. They found a different way to reach a new level of intimacy and it worked for them. Her house is eerily quiet and dark. Normally, she keeps the hallway lights on when she is home and if she is watching TV/listening to music, it is so loud that it could make a deaf person hear. He doesn’t let the lack of normality stop him from making his way to her bedroom, thinking nothing that her door is closed. He uses the doorknob to push it open and he is surprised to see her standing in front of the mirror with her hands pressing against her hip. It takes him a second to process that blood stains her hand. His shock turns to worry as he rushes to her side. He trips over something in his attempt to get to her and looks down to see a bloody Exacto knife, like the kind she uses to cut things for her art. He kicks it away and removes her hand from her side. He curses at the amount of blood. This needs stitches. 

“My love, what happened?” he asks, hoping the theory he has isn’t true. He sees the tears running down her face and the way her mouth opens and closes. She has no idea how to answer. The hiccups of her crying make it even harder. Instead of waiting for an answer, Rafe washes his hands and gets the first aid kit in her bathroom. He uses the bandage wrap inside it to catch the blood, instructing her to use it to apply pressure whilst he guides her to his car. The drive to the hospital is silent. 

———

Y/N told the medical practitioner the truth as to how she got the cuts and scars. She couldn’t lie with Rafe in the room. He had offered to step out, except she asked him to stay. She was tired of lying. It only added to her exhaustion. Y/N didn’t have to say much before the doctor excused herself to get a hospital psychiatrist. Rafe said nothing as she described the anguish she felt. He felt a sharp stab to his heart at every word she said, criticizing himself for not seeing the mental pain his girlfriend was in. 

With the doctor gone, he speaks up. “Is there anything I can do right now that can help you feel more comfortable?” She appreciates that he doesn’t assume that there is an easy fix to this or that at the moment there is something quick he can do to make her feel better. His focus on her comfort causes a flutter in her stomach. She nods, “Can you just hold me?” He joins her on the hospital bed and pulls her to his side. The buzz of the lights is the sole thing that can be heard for a while. “This isn’t your fault,” she clarifies, concerned that he might think it. He kisses her temple, “I know. Thank you for trusting me enough to be in the room when you told the doctor what happened. This isn’t your fault either and you are so brave for asking for help. If you want, I will be here to help you every step of the way.” A different kind of relief comes over her. She feels a glimmer of hope that she doesn’t have to do this alone. “I want you here,” she whispers, pressing her face into his side. “Then I’m not going anywhere.”

[666writingcafe]

An Interview With Levi

Part Two of a New Series

Question One: What turns you on?

Oh, we're starting here. Okay...um...info dumping? Like, I enjoy listening to someone talk about something they're passionate about, especially if it's something that requires a lot of skill and/or knowledge.

Question Two: What kind of kiss appeals to you?

I'm a sucker for a kiss on the cheek. There's something so sweet about it that makes my heart race.

Question Three: What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Even though this is ongoing, I'm proud of the fact that I've been able to overcome some of my social anxiety.

Question Four: What is a positive childhood lesson that helps you even today?

This is gonna sound stupid, but "sharing is caring". I've found that the more I trust someone, the easier it is for me to share. It's a sort of litmus test that I use to determine someone's character.

Question Five: What advice would you give your younger self if you ever met?

People care about you more than you think. Don't allow your insecurities to push them away.

Question Six: What is your greatest fear?

It used to be rejection, but now it's waking up one day and finding out that Mammon sold all my stuff.

Question Seven: If you could fix one of the biggest problems in the world, what would that problem be?

Racism. It seems to be a huge problem across the three realms, and I don't think that's right. You can't judge someone solely based on the color of their skin or the type of being they are.

Question Eight: What’s the best surprise you’ve ever received?

Okay, so there was this limited edition Ruri-chan figurine that I really wanted, and the website said there was one left, but when I went to buy it, it had been sold. I was really bummed about it for a while, but then one day MC comes in my room and gives me a wrapped box with a bow on top. Turns out, they bought the last figurine specifically so that they could give it to me as a gift. I nearly dropped the box the figurine was in out of shock.

Question Nine: If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?

Scare Mammon. He has a fear of ghosts.

Question Ten: If you were stranded on an island, which three items would you be unable to live without?

Other than food and water? (Yes.) Okay, um...my phone, its charger, and my goldfish.

Question Eleven: If you had the chance to ask your future self one question, what would it be?

There are so many questions that I'd want to ask that I'd probably end up overwhelmed by having to choose just one.

Question Twelve: What is the weirdest food you love to eat for breakfast?

Waffles drizzled with ketchup.

Question Thirteen: What is the most embarrassing autocorrect fail you have ever had?

One time, when I was texting Mammon to pay back the money he owed me, the word "money" autocorrected to "mommy". He teased me about it for days. It was awful.

Question Fourteen: What is the most bizarre thing you have seen someone do in public?

Solomon. Just...he's a really strange guy, and anything he does in public is bizarre to me.

Question Fifteen: What is the craziest dream you have ever had?

Intentional or unintentional? (What do you mean?) There are times where I ask Belphie to create a specific dream for me, mainly whenever I've been up for days and need to go asleep and stay that way for a while. (Would you mind sharing one?) The one that comes to mind and that fits the question is one that required coordination on everyone's part to make possible. To disclose more than that would be breaching their privacy, and I don't feel comfortable doing that. (I see. Well, how about an unintentional dream?) I once fought dinosaurs with Ruri-chan, but the dinosaurs were my brothers, and I didn't want to hurt them, but they were attacking Ruri-chan's village. It was a really strange dream.

Question Sixteen: Who do you think is more romantic, men or women?

I think they're equally romantic. I feel like women tend to go for the grand gestures, while men focus more on the small things, but that's hardly universal.

Question Seventeen: What do you think makes a person attractive?

Confidence.

Question Eighteen: What do you think is the difference between romance and love?

One's a blazing inferno of emotions, and the other is a single candle lighting up a room.

Question Nineteen: What would be the name of the book written on your life?

Probably "The Insecure Otaku", although I'm sure that answer will change as I get older.

Question Twenty: What is a quirk of yours you feel comfortable sharing?

I can sing a bunch of anime theme songs backwards.

Question Twenty-One: What is the dumbest question you were asked?

Every other question asked by Mammon. It's not that he's stupid; he just doesn't think things all the way through before he opens his mouth.

Question Twenty-Two: Have you ever been kicked out of any place?

A human world aquarium.

Question Twenty-Three: Would you rather fight a hundred ant-sized horses or a single horse-sized ant?

What kind of horses are they? (Wild stallions.) And the ant? (A fire ant.) Fuck that; I'll take the horses any day. I'm not messing with a fire ant.

Question Twenty-Four: Where would you take aliens first if they ever approached you?

It honestly depends. If they asked me to take them to a specific place, then I'd probably oblige, but if they pull the whole "take me to your leader", then I'm taking them to Lord Diavolo and making him deal with it. He'd probably get a kick out of it, if I'm totally honest.

Question Twenty-Five: What song would be the theme of your life?

You know those songs that are insanely loud and the singer is screaming and you can't understand a word they're saying and you're overwhelmed by the sheer amount of noise? That's basically the story of my life.

Question Twenty-Six: Would you prefer a pause button for the globe or a rewind button for your life?

Honestly, I don't know. There are too many variables. Is there a force field that's created by the pause button that makes it possible for you to still move? If there is, can you put anyone else in that force field? And then there's the rewind button. How far back can you go? How do you return to the present? Are you even able to, or are you forced to relive that portion of your life all over again? Do you retain the knowledge of your present self, or do you revert back to the person you were at that point in your life?

Question Twenty-Seven: Which dad joke is your favorite?

I like the punny ones. They make me snort in amusement.

Question Twenty-Eight: What is the most inventive way you can think of to use duct tape?

Ask Lucifer. He can turn the most ordinary objects into torture devices. He's like a spy in that regard. Or maybe a ninja.

Question Twenty-Nine: What rule, if any, would you add to the game of hide and seek?

Being able to come up with punishments for the people that you find.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan

[blessedwithabadomen]

in love with the mess - day fourteen

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : angst, fluff, overthinking, mentions of drinking, mentions of throwing up

length : 6k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @blacksoul-27 @somebodyels3 @kageyasma @spikeisdaddy @broken0mens @sunsshinesunny

a/n : sorry about the delay!!! I'm going on holiday and it was all very stressful and hectic and then we had to figure out how to get to the airport tomorrow morning because the trains are suddenly not running lmao but here it is!!!

•••

day fourteen

“You… you told-”

Noah didn’t even manage to say it out loud. He didn’t need to. Oli and I were just as aware of the fucking blunder we’d just made. The one that might change everything now.

We should have told him earlier. We should have told him, period. Not risked letting him find out. We’d truly fucked up. Too wrapped up in our own happiness and love to really grasp the consequences. How ridiculously selfish of us.

The room had fallen awkwardly silent, or maybe the ringing in my ears was simply tuning out everything else. Either way, there were still people around us, people who had no business listening in to this, people who didn’t need to know anything about our situation. I wasn’t actually sure if anyone even cared - but all the people running around us were distracting at best. Oli seemed to think the same.

“My dressing room, now,” he simply said, no harshness in his order, yet none of us would have dared to decline.

No more words were exchanged as we made our way through the labyrinthine hallways of the arena. We didn’t touch each other, suddenly hyperaware of every single one of our movements, as if they would be watched and analysed and scrutinised. All of us kept our heads down as we passed by a multitude of people and the general vibe we were giving off seemed to do enough to keep everyone else away. We weren’t in the mood for small talk. Or any talk at all that didn’t include just the three of us.

Oli held the door open for us as we passed him, then shut it after he had entered himself. I’d never felt this out of place in my life. The chaotic, stuffed dressing room that had started to feel close to a second home, even if the actual location kept changing, now did nothing but suffocate me. All of us lingered in the middle of it. No one sat down. As if comfort wasn’t allowed.

“How long?” Noah’s voice seemed painfully loud in the quiet dressing room. The door shut out the noise from outside remarkably well.

“Two days ago,” Oli answered, as if it was no bother at all, as if this wasn’t potentially the most crucial conversation the three of us had ever had, but I could see it in his eyes, in the way he tried to hide his hands fumbling with nothing in particular. “I didn’t mean to say it, then. I mean, I love her, but it just tumbled out of my mouth, really.”

“We didn’t mean to keep it a secret from you,” I added. My whole body ached to reach out to Noah, but the fear of how badly the rejection would sting kept me frozen in place. “We meant to talk to you, there just… We didn’t know how or when. I know that’s the shittiest excuse ever. We should have made the right moment to tell you.”

“So what does that mean now,” Noah all but interrupted. His eyes were flicking back and forth between Oli and me, restless and nervous. He didn’t even seem to process any of the information we’d just told him, even if his brain was probably going a hundred miles an hour. “You two are… a thing. And you still fucked me this morning. Why?”

It was my turn to be stunned. Did he really not know? Was he so completely unaware? Or was he simply trying to shield himself, ignore everything that had happened between the three of us in the past two weeks? Because in my mind, there was no way he didn’t know that this was more than just the three of us fucking around. Or me and Oli getting together. In all the ways that we had complicated and confused this whole thing, it had always been about the three of us. Surely.

“Because we love you, you fucking idiot!”

The outburst pierced the silence painfully but it wasn’t until Noah and Oli both stared at me in shock that the realisation dawned that it had been my outburst. I was the one shouting these words. But as soon as it sunk in, I knew I wasn’t done. Some invisible dam had burst - I was going to speak my mind and I was going to speak it now. No more holding back for the sake of others or blindly agreeing for fear of rejection or letting anyone else take the lead.

“This wasn’t just some weird ploy to get Oli and me together and you get stranded on the sidelines. This has been about the three of us from the start and you know it. So what if Oli and I got there first. I’ve been ready to shout about my feelings for you from the rooftops for days now, Noah. But I didn’t. Because I knew it would scare you away. And I was desperate, Noah, desperate for that not to happen.”

I took a breath, trying to keep a hold of myself, trying not to unravel. I willed the tears in my eyes to disappear but all that happened was that one escaped me and dramatically slid down my face. Noah, somehow, was the first one to react, wiping it away so softly that another immediately followed.

“Every time Oli and I are alone, it feels like a part of us is missing. Like the bed is too big, even when it really isn’t. Or there’s a remark hanging in the room that you would make but you’re not there to say it. I don’t want to do this without you. I want you. I don’t know how this is going to work and I don’t really care because I know we’ll figure it out. I’m in love with you, Noah.”

I couldn’t deal with the way he was looking at me. Especially because I, for once, felt so completely, wholly unable to analyse it at all. Was it pity? Oncoming rejection? Insecurity? Love? I could only hope for the latter, but my emotions were running amok in my body and there was no certainty in anything anymore. In anything but the fact that I was so in love.

Noah was still standing in front of me, but his hand wasn’t on my face anymore and I missed it dearly. All I wanted was to throw myself into his arms and beg him to give the three of us a chance. But this was on him, and him alone.

“She’s right, you know?” Oli piped up next to me. He was much braver than me, pulling Noah close, putting his hand to the other man’s neck and letting their foreheads rest against each other. “We’re not complete without you. I… Noah, I’m in love with you. And, fuck, I never thought I’d say that to a man, but here we are.”

He kissed Noah then, deeply and passionately. It was all he could do. I only hoped it would be enough.

“We don’t want to rush you, Noah. But that’s where we’re at and I… I would hate for this tour to be over with unspoken things lingering between us. So, I don’t know, take some time, talk to us or don’t if you need to be by yourself, whatever you need. But, please, think about it. About us. It’s the only thing I’m asking you for.”

Noah nodded, keeping his head hanging low and staring at the ground now that Oli wasn’t holding him up anymore. I let my hand drift to his jaw, making him look at me. I simply needed to press a kiss to his mouth. The chances that I might not get to do it again were too high.

He felt sweet against me, reciprocating the kiss with a familiarity I had grown so accustomed to. But he didn’t initiate anything else. I let go of him and stepped back.

“I’ll give you an answer. Tonight. I promise.”

Believing in him was all Oli and I could do.

•••

It felt wrong to sleep alone. If I’d already been lamenting the fact that Noah was missing when it was just Oli and me, I’d completely forgotten just how awful it would feel to have neither of them next to me in bed. The cold was seeping into my bones, one that couldn’t be fixed with any number of blankets or heating in the room. I missed feeling their bodies around me, feeling the mattress move every time they shuffled. Missed their hands on me, their chests pressed against my own and my back. Their slowing breathing filling the room with the slightest noises that had me drifting off to sleep so easily. Now I was too cold and the room was too quiet and my brain was too loud.

We had tried to be reasonable about it, really. We’d gotten a ride back to the hotel together and while I tried to savour every moment with them, it had been the most awkward situation we’d managed to find ourselves in just yet. When we had lingered in the hotel hallway, unsure of how to proceed from here, Noah had said that he needed some time to think, alone, and that it would probably be for the best if he just went back to his room with Jolly. We’d bid him goodnight, not attempting to kiss or hug him or initiate any other physical contact, and he’d ended up waving before walking down the corridor. Like a stranger.

Then it had just been Oli and me, again. I’d made him hold me, for a while, needing the closeness and the reassurance that we could somehow be fine whatever happened now, but we didn’t talk. Only to agree that we should sleep separately for once. It simply felt… wrong to allow ourselves to spend the night in an attempt at what would hopefully become a steady relationship when Noah was still struggling and confused and neither part of it nor outside of it. Plus, I knew fully well that we would end up talking the whole night, not getting a wink of sleep and instead stressing ourselves out even further.

Not that I was getting much rest on my own now.

Picking up my phone, I once again, for what felt like the seventieth time that night, opened our group chat. There wasn’t very much in there to be honest. Most of the time, it was easy enough to locate each other in the venues or their rooms. And if I was looking for someone specific, I usually ended up texting just that person. The other one was probably with one of us already anyway.

Still.

My fingers hovered over the screen. And then they typed, before I could stop them. I clicked the sent button as soon as the last letter had appeared. Just to make sure I wouldn’t back out again. Then I chucked the phone as far away from me as I could while still being able to hear my alarm in a few hours and turned around, hoping for sleep to come, hoping for my brain to give me some peace for at least a while. Hoping those two men would feel the same way I did when they read my message.

I miss you already.

•••

I ended up running late which was something that rarely happened and tended to be in my top ten most stressful situations in life. I had been so preoccupied with leaving on time or at least not too late to make my flight to Dublin that I didn’t even remember to check my messages until I was in the car to the airport.

Noah Can we talk tonight? The guys want to go out but maybe after?

There was about an hour of nothing in the chat, I presumed Oli was asleep or simply not checking his phone at that time, before another message from him came through.

Noah I miss you too Both

Then silence, again, for a few hours. Oli had apparently gotten up earlier than I had and, somehow, had been more organised. Or at least enough to text.

Oli Think everyone’s keen on going out tonight We can meet up at the hotel afterward? My room? Please don’t make me stay on my own again, I couldn’t even get any rest without you (Aubrey) clinging to my shirt until it almost choked me and you (Noah) terrifying me with your sleep talking in the middle of the night

I wasn’t going to cry in the cab. Even if I did end up clutching the phone to my heart as if it physically held the people I loved and not just the messages they had left. Maybe it was going to be alright after all. Maybe we could make this work. Maybe, even tonight already, we would be right where we were supposed to be - next to each other.

I didn’t get a chance to reply as the driver pulled up to the airport. But I would get to talk to them later tonight, at the very latest. And that made my heart that little bit lighter.

•••

“I’ll let you know that I was only slightly panicked about you missing the flight,” Becky said as I reached my gates, mere moments before boarding was about to start. I huffed at her, pretending it was because I was shocked at how little faith she had in me, not because I was legitimately out of breath.

“Which would have been annoying but not the end of the world, pretty sure there's more fights from here to Dublin than just this one today.”

“Not if they all get cancelled because of the storm.”

I felt the blood drain from my face. “Storm?”

“Yeah, it's pretty windy already so it's not clear whether later flights will go ahead. Wait, you don't look too well - are you- are you afraid of flying?”

“I'm afraid of turbulences,” I admitted.

“Well, then,” Becky said, reaching into her bag as she ushered me towards the counter where they'd just started boarding. “Here's to hoping your surprises will keep you occupied!”

“Wait- plural?”

She didn’t feel the need to answer me as she instead pushed me forward to get my ticket checked and then ushered down the way toward the plane. I was already on the aircraft when she caught up with me, briefly waiting as I took my assigned seat in the middle, which was only bearable because the window seat was taken by Noah. He sent me a tired smile, making me wonder how much rest he’d gotten during the night, as I slid into the row.

“Have fun!” Becky squealed, putting a folder in my hands and vanishing down the aisle of the plan before I could stop her. I briefly looked from the now vacant spot to the folder to Noah, who had a small but knowing smile on his face.

I quickly stored my luggage and got comfortable - as comfortable as possible on a flight - and only got briefly interrupted when Oli walked down the aisle next to me, throwing a kiss in my direction the way he had done the night before, then throwing another to Noah, who accepted it with the blush I had grown to love so much on his cheeks.

“Do you know what this is about?” I asked as more and more people filled up the plane, boarding finally finishing and the crew getting ready for takeoff.

“Maybe,” he chuckled, giving me one more look that I couldn’t quite get a grasp on, then busying himself in the comic in his hands, one I recognised he’d bought on our trip to Forbidden Planet a while ago.

Realising I wasn’t going to get any more information out of him, I decided I might as well try to preoccupy myself with figuring out what exactly Becky had given me during take off. It was the worst part of the flight anyway. Well, minus the landing. And any turbulences.

However, there simply had to be one more interruption.

“Is this seat taken?”

Confused, I looked up from the folder, already questioning what sense that question could possibly make on a fight with assigned seating, when my eyes spotted-

“Lia!”

I tried to jump up but the seatbelt I'd already buckled painfully pulled me back. Noah quickly reached over to undo it as I stood up, folder almost crashing to the floor, my arms wrapping around my best friend as if I hadn't seen her for years. It felt like it.

A stern look from one of the flight attendants had us sit down immediately, getting settled and ready for take off.

“What are you doing here? I don't understand!”

“Did you know Becky is super nice and also definitely able to bully people into giving her my number and telling me to get my ass here?”

“Wait, so-”

“Well, apparently Oli requested my presence too,” she continued, completely unfazed by my questions, “and we both know he's asking for you and not because he loves me so much. Also the hotel had a free room for the next two nights, how handy, right? So here I am, taking you out drinking tonight and trying to punch some sense into all of you guys. Hi, Noah!”

Noah waved awkwardly and then handed me back the folder I had almost forgotten about. He just have caught up when I'd almost dropped it.

“Have you read it yet?” Lia asked, almost jumping in her seat. I shook my head and then buried it in the papers in front of me.

Nothing made sense.

I skimmed through the pages, then back to the first one, as if it might just have been my English skills inexplicably leaving me, but no. I was seeing - and reading - correctly. With a frown so tight it almost hurt the skin on my forehead, I read through the contents, properly now, absorbing every word.

I wasn’t sure how long I took, flipping through the pages, back and forth, just to make sure I was reading correctly, that I wasn’t hallucinating these words, that this was for real.

“This- I mean… I-”

“You're getting an apprenticeship, Aubrey!” Lia shouted so loudly that someone from the row in front of us turned around with a frown. “Becky asked the company she works for and they're offering it to you. Said that the past two days were basically your try-outs. You're gonna be a sound technician! Well, if you accept, of course.”

“Oh my god,” I mumbled, flipping through the pages again, and again. This whole thing felt like a fever dream I was not ready to wake up from. “And in a few days I would-”

“Come on tour with us and shadow Becky,” Noah completed my sentence. “Not the most conventional way to start learning the basics, but when have any of us ever been. Conventional, that is.”

I didn't have time to think about the implications of his words or how they could translate to a completely different issue too. All I could do was put a hand over my mouth in shock and cease to fight against the tears that were starting to spill down my cheeks in abundance. Both Noah and Becky hugged me as much as they possibly could with all of us stuck in our seats. Even the turbulence couldn't faze me anymore.

Life might actually be looking up.

•••

If there was one thing Lia knew how to do, it was how to keep me occupied and distracted. We spent most of the day chatting, which included a lot of me rambling about my chaotic love life - I only cried once - and her fawning over her wife and how she needed a change of occupation too. On top of that, we decided to have lunch at the hotel restaurant, where we promptly bumped into Becky, who allowed me to ask all the questions about the internship offered and then almost bowled me over in my chair when I asked the waiter for a pen to sign the contract straight away.

Since all of us had the night off, we ended up agreeing over several different group chats to go out big style - crew, Bad Omens, Bring Me The Horizon, well, and Lia. Even though she had a room of her own, she’d practically gathered half her suitcase and made a home in mine as we got ready together.

Yet, all she seemed to do was veto every outfit I showed her until we finally landed on an oversized pullover I used as a dress (just about sexy enough for her, comfortable enough for me, who wasn’t actually looking to attract anyone new that evening) and a pair of fishnet tights that would do nothing at all to protect me from the January cold but would hopefully look less out of place once we were inside again.

“So, what’s the plan with Noah, then?” Lia asked as she dropped down on my bed, spilling some of the setting powder in her hand and then trying to rub it into the duvet as if I hadn’t seen. “Because all I see right now is you and Oli sitting around waiting.”

“What else is there to do?” I sighed. I genuinely felt at a loss. We’d put the ball in his court. We’d told him how we felt. We left the decision up to him. But would all of that be enough?

“What’s the biggest issue right now? Like, what’s his fears?”

“Probably that Oli and I have a stronger connection with each other than either of us has with him. That we already know each other so well that he’ll be the one left out.”

“Sounds like you guys need more time together. The three of you. Completely ignoring what you and Oli might know about each other from before and just focus on finding yourselves in this relationship now.”

The silence lingered for a moment as both of us got lost in our thoughts, the mascara I was in the middle of applying now forgotten in my hand. I stared at myself in the mirror, made up and dressed up, and wondered who I was. Someone in love. Someone who was willing to fight for it. I was so over being passive.

“What can I do?”

“Well, first of all, put mascara on the other eye too because you look very asymmetrical.”

I rolled my eyes but did as she said, knowing that if I got too carried away, I’d completely forget about the rest of my makeup anyway.

“Give yourselves more time?” Lia offered.

“Tour ends tomorrow,” I thought out loud. “The Bad Omens tour isn’t until the 27th and the flight to Berlin is on the 26th. Now, I know Oli is completely free the next few days and I can ask around again but I’m pretty sure Noah has a break until then as well.”

Lia simply let out a hum in the background of my monologue, just to let me know she was still listening as I started scrolling through my phone, typing and searching.

“Fuck it,” I decided. “I’m booking us a family room for the next few days after tour. Nice hotel, just outside of Dublin. No distractions, no one else we know around us, no shows, no appointments, nothing. Just the three of us. There. Booked. Do you think the hotel can print something for me?”

Lia looked at me like a proud parent which was unnerving at best but I ignored it.

“I’m sure Oli would love to go and ask with you,” she grinned as I pulled on my shoes and was already halfway out the door, jacket and bag at the ready.

“Meet you downstairs in a few?”

“Will do! Don’t get distracted by Oli’s dick!”

•••

“What if he doesn’t even notice?”

“Of course he’ll fucking notice.”

“You don’t know that! He might not look this way and then just stumble over it!”

“What if we knock?”

“But we’re supposed to drop it off without him seeing!”

“Fine. I’ll knock and we’ll run and hide around the corner.”

“What are we, five?”

“Yes. I’m knocking now.”

I quickly dropped the printed paper along with the post-it stuck on top to the floor as Oli all but pounded on Noah’s hotel room door before bolting down the hallway with me and stopping just around the corner, pulling each other to safety and then peeking around just as we saw him step out, confused. We stayed hidden until we heard the door fall back into its lock and then spared another glance to make sure he had picked up our notes.

“You think he’s going to do it? Come with us for another few days?”

“Well, a luxurious hotel and both of us, he’d be stupid to refuse,” Oli chuckled, but I could tell the anxiety weighed on him just as heavily. There wasn’t much more to do, really. We’d told him about our feelings. We wanted to spend the small break that all of us had together, no distractions, just getting to know each other better and figuring out how this could work. It was truly his turn now.

“Come on, stop worrying that pretty head of yours so much,” Oli said, pressing a kiss to it. “Let’s get Lia and see what Dublin has to offer, yeah?”

I simply let myself fall into his arms a little as he led us toward the lifts, ready to forget about the ache in my heart just for a while.

•••

The night ended up not being all that wild, after all. Everyone was feeling the exhaustion from the past two weeks on tour. It didn’t mean that the pub we had all gathered it wasn’t in danger of running out of spirits, though. The mood was high and the volume in the room seemed to be getting louder by the minute. I’d already saved various people from Lia various times because if someone didn’t know how to shut her mouth when intoxicated, it was her. I’d currently lost track of her once again which was slightly worrying, but the more drinks Becky was providing me with, the less I cared. Her husband wasn’t back company either, although he seemed ever so slightly overwhelmed with the rowdy crowd around us.

“Are you excited to go on the Bad Omens tour then?” He asked, an arm around Becky, who was currently distracted by someone else who was telling her about some sound system or other, and I only briefly let myself fall into the yearning of having that kind of stable relationship, the kind of love that people would see from miles away without any of us doing anything, the kind of connection that shone through even when we weren’t talking.

“Did everyone but me know about this?”

“Well, yes,” he laughed. “As far as I know it was a joint venture, Becky, Lia, Oli and Noah all huddled together to make this happen. I guess you’re very loved.”

“God, don’t make me sappy now,” I chuckled but it was nothing but an attempt to keep the tears at bay. I’d been crying entirely too much lately, for a number of reasons, and I was getting a little tired of it.

I excused myself momentarily, citing a bathroom break, but found myself standing outside the pub instead. The cold air sent shivers up and down my body, but I didn’t mind all that much. It was a nice reminder that I wasn’t only in my head. That I was here right now. I flinched when a hand landed on my waist, a gesture so strangely intimate I knew it to be Noah before I registered anything else.

“So you two really want to spend more time with me alone after this tour?” he asked, jokingly, but he couldn’t fool me. I could see the insecurity in his eyes, in the way he stood, in the way his hand lingered on my body without quite grabbing it.

“Noah, love, I’ll always want to spend more time with you.” My hand was on his chest now, hard and lean under my fingertips, and it took all the strength I possessed not to pull him in and kiss him stupid. “If your tour wasn’t coming up so soon after, I’d probably have booked us in for a month.”

His fingers ildly played with the fabric of my makeshift dress. “Maybe-”

The door from the pub banged open with more force than it should have been able to. A rather tipsy Lia stumbled out, obnoxiously pointing at Noah as she came over.

“You! Folio threw up on the bar and they’re kicking him out and I’ve been told you’re the one to bother. He needs to get back to the hotel and you guys are sharing right? Come on. I’ll help.”

Noah sighed, deeply, but looked at me once more before turning away. “Can we talk later? The three of us? Not in my room though, for obvious reasons.”

“Sure,” I chuckled. “Oli’s room later? We can shoot you a text.”

“Perfect,” he said and then he bent down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips and I could really believe this was going to work out.

•••

The night was dying down earlier than I would have expected, but both Oli and Mat kept loudly complaining that they were not 25 anymore after all. I bit back a comment about how that luckily hadn’t impacted Oli’s performance in bed. As more and more people started leaving, Oli clung to me, leaning his body on me with much more force than necessary, then giggling at the way I almost buckled under his weight. He was a little tipsy, just on the verge of it, and it made him all kinds of needy and whiny. Although I wasn’t quite sure if that was actually down to the alcohol or if he was simply in a mood.

“I want Noah,” he mumbled into my ear as he rested his head on my shoulder. It seemed horribly uncomfortable with the height difference, but I patted his hair in what I hoped would be a calming and reassuring gesture anyway. “I miss Noah.”

“I know, baby,” I cooed. “Do you want to go back to the hotel? I can shoot him a text.”

“Please.”

The cold outside seemed to wake and sober him up considerably as we got into a cab to get back to the hotel. He immediately pulled me into the middle seat, claiming the distance was simply unacceptable.

“Thank you for helping with the job situation, by the way,” I whispered, as if it was a secret, just for the two of us. “The job, offering me a place to stay, getting me on this tour in the first place… I really don’t know how to ever thank you for everything you do for me, Oli.”

He grabbed my face then, gently, so I would look at him. Then he kissed me so deeply that I was getting lightheaded, all sensations swimming through my brain in one big mush as I allowed myself to drown in them, knowing he was holding me and keeping me safe.

“You could keep on loving me, that’s all I’ll ever ask for.”

“Well, that’s going to be very easy,” I giggled, pressing a kiss to his nose right as the driver announced our arrival.

The hotel was quiet as soon as we left the reception area. I wondered if Noah was still busy taking care of Folio. If I should text him immediately and ask him to come over. If he wanted to talk to us yet. My train of thought was interrupted when we arrived on our floor and none other than Lia left Noah and Folio’s room, quickly running over to us as I shushed her for being too loud in her heels.

“He’s finally stopped puking,” she gleefully announced. “I’m off to bed now. Noah… Well, get to your room. He’ll get in touch?”

“He’ll- what?” I asked, but Lia was already bouncing down the hallway again, refusing to stop for clarification. Oli simply shrugged his shoulders as he unlocked the door and held it open for me.

It only took a few moments.

The knock wasn’t as much as a surprise, considering we were basically waiting for Noah, but the fact that no one was there when we opened it felt a bit comical. Especially when we realised a folded up piece of paper was on the floor in front of us.

“This feels like payback,” Oli laughed breathlessly, quite obviously just as nervous about this as I was. I refused to let the overthinking get the better of me though as I bent down to pick it up and unfolded it while Oli closed the door again. When I saw the amount of text, I ushered him in the direction of the bed so we could sit on the edge and read it together. He had to help hold onto it so we could still be make out the words amid my shaking.

Aubrey, Oli, my loves.

I’ve spent the last day doing very little else but think about everything. I’ve been trying to find a winner in the war that kept waging in my head but it seemed impossible.

Well, Lia didn’t allow that. She’s quite a force, isn’t she? As soon as Folio was in bed, she basically held me at gunpoint (figuratively) while she told me what she thought about the situation and how much of a “fucking useless idiot” I was being. Then she made me write a pro and contra list on the back of this page because apparently that’s what she does when she can’t make a decision. I’m not sure if buying a new phone quite compares to this, but I humoured her. And I think it helped. Just don’t tell her that.

Noah

There was a slightly messed up heart drawn next to it. The hope was rising up in my throat like bile, threatening to make me throw up just from the sheer terror and excitement about what was happening. We were so close to an answer. This was the moment.

Oli nodded at me to turn the paper over as soon as he was also done reading. He looked white as a sheet and I was sure my own face mirrored it. My shaky fingers only got worse when I flipped the page over.

There was indeed a list in front of us. Lots of entries on the “pro” side. Ranging from “They make me laugh” to “I feel safe with them” and “They know I’m scared and they don’t mind”. The contra side was shorter, but still held a few bulletpoints. “The distance”, “Third wheel” and “How to make this work??” were scribbled there.

But none of that was the important part.

The important part was that the list had been crossed out, liberally, with a massive “x” over the whole page, making it a little harder to read some of the points. And in the middle of it, almost from one corner to the other, covering even more words, he had written one single sentence. One sentence that seemed to count more than all the others. That made everything else not matter. That made clear that he had come to a decision.

I AM IN LOVE WITH THEM.

[cilil]

Of Faith and Folly

AN: I wrote this due to random inspiration and to get some negative feelings out. Please heed the warning; nothing super egregious happens, but I know it can be triggering for people who deal with abusive family members.

ഒ Characters: Manwë & Eru ഒ Synopsis: Eru scolds Manwë after the Valar decide to bring the Elves to Valinor for safety. ഒ Warnings: Abusive parent ഒ Short oneshot (~600 words)

"So you have brought the Children to Valinor, Son." 

Manwë lifted his gaze skyward when he heard his father's voice in his mind, smiling. "We have." 

Why?" There was an edge to his tone. The serene, bright blue of Manwë's eyes became clouded, and he looked confused. 

"Because we feared that Melkor might continue to harm them." 

"And what folly, pray tell, made you believe that you know better than the grand plan? Do you now believe yourself wiser than to have faith in my designs, as I taught you?" 

Manwë's smile faded, and he flinched instinctively. "Father, forgive me, I thought this was part of the plan." 

"You err." Eru didn't sound as furious as he had been when Melkor had attempted to ruin the music, but his voice was cold. "Did you think that I would let him destroy all of my firstborn Children?"

"No, Father." 

"Then where was your faith in me? Even if your kin may at times stray and be faithless, I know I taught you better." 

Manwë felt his fána shrink. "I know, Father. I merely thought–" 

"My will I put into your heart always. Had you truly listened, you would have known better." 

"Yes, Father." He fell to his knees, trembling. Eru had never been this angry with him, mildly irritated at most when he had made mistakes as a young spirit. Anger had been Melkor's emotion, both to display and to evoke within others, while Manwë was met with the same love and joy he showed others in abundance. 

"Do you want me to rectify our mistake?" he offered. "We may yet make it right -"

"No." Eru's judgement came quickly and with grave finality. "I have spoken through Námo already. A decision has been made, and so it is doomed. All ills that shall befall your land in the future will be your burden to bear. May you listen well to me next time and find greater wisdom in it, so that you may in the end atone for your error." 

The weight of his presence was lifted from Manwë's ëala, and he found himself still on his knees, crying and shaking. What had he done? Why hadn't Eru spoken to him earlier? Hadn't he promised him that everything would be good and right in the end through his grace? Was all of that null and void now because he had been disobedient, even though he hadn't meant to? What was he going to tell the other Valar?

And why was he so afraid?

Manwë wrapped his wings around himself. He loved his father. He adored everything about him. So he had been raised, so he had been taught. Nothing bad or evil would ever befall him if he only had enough love and faith. 

(Melkor had always been the exception to this, admittedly, refusing to love him back no matter how hard Manwë tried to win his affection, but Eru had told him that his brother was a failure and not to fret.)

He was still afraid. 

And if any of the others found him like this he would have to make excuses or explain. Manwë forced himself to rise, wiped his tears and restlessly tugged on all muscles in his face until his expression had returned to his usual serene smile. 

Eru had told him that he had to see it through to the end now, and if he tried hard enough, maybe he could still make things right. He was hesitant to think that way, scared that he might once more evoke his father's ire by trusting his own convictions, but for the sake of everyone else he had to try. 

And despite everything, he still looked forward to welcoming the Elves in his realm.

Thanks for reading! ♡

taglist: @a-world-of-whimsy-5 @blauerregen @bluezenzennie @edensrose @elanna-elrondiel @i-did-not-mean-to @melkors-defense-attorney @saintstars @singleteapot @stormchaser819 @urwendii

[craycraybluejay]

Bruh I be having literally the worst urges and I feel bad that I don't feel bad at all. Like damn. Guess I'm really like that. Well, anyway.

[isfjmel-phleg]

I hope you know while I don’t know Secret I love her so much because of you

Aww, thanks! I have a lot of fondness for this often-overlooked girl, and it's good to see her get some love :)

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

.

[sweetest-devotion]

trigger warnings.

(x)

[vorestarr]

what Sceleritas Fel says about each of the companions if the urge compels you to kill them:

Astarion: "He is so afraid. So, so afraid. Of everyone, besides you, who he ought to fear most."

Gale: "He thinks he might end the world. But you and I could do far worse."

Karlach: "She thinks she is finally away from the monsters. Poor fool."

Lae'zel: "She came all the way to this world, just to die here."

Shadowheart: "The gods fight over her, but is she truly that special?"

Wyll: "He has his own devil, just as you have me. Aren't you a foul pair?"

Wyll (if he's been turned into a devil): "He is an insult to the name of devils, posing as a monster with that sickly good heart."

and then, later, when you're arguing not to kill them:

Astarion: "You like him for more than his looks, but he will never believe that. Why not make him a pretty corpse?"

Gale: "He would forget his god for you. But you won't for him, of that I know."

Karlach: "She's as good as dead anyway. She won't be saved by the power of love. Not yours."

Lae'zel: "She is only using you. Don't you know that?"

Shadowheart: "She was starting to trust you. The only one she ever has. Pity it's coming to an end."

Wyll: "He adores you so blindly. Like a pup. Don't you find it sickening?"

[jamminvroomvroom]

no more mister shy guy.

OP x fem!reader

in which you can’t work out why he just won’t sleep with you

i am neither normal, nor am i hinged! i hope you guys get the vision, i literally wrote this last night possessed by some feral urge bc i just love oscar sm and i’ve been needing to write for him sooo baaad. enjoy! pls lemme know what you think <3

songs to set the vibes: delicate by taylor swift, good looking by suki waterhouse, my kind of woman by max demarco, feeling myself by wolf alice

warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, pwp but also there is some plot? overstimulation, crying in a hot way, choking, unprotected sex (L bozo don’t do that!) the most minor moment of angst, fluff

2.8k words

you watch him make coffee, daydreaming, balancing your heavy head on your hand. you study him while your free hand taps against the kitchen counter, nails drumming a random beat. sunlight streams through a gap in the curtains, framing him golden. you don’t think he knows how pretty he is.

oscar is oblivious to the way your mind is ticking behind him, twisting the cap on the carton of oat-milk. you hear the plastic fall onto the counter and your tongue wets your lower lip as he reaches up into the cupboard, his back flexing beneath his shirt as he finds your favourite mug. you realise then how swollen your lip is, snapped out of the trance he had you in, the one that had you biting your lip so hard, completely mindlessly.

he’s bulked up over the winter break, filled out a lot over the course of his rookie season. he’s no longer the scrawny, anxious guy you’d met at your fathers work event a year ago, he’s broader, thicker in your hands, utterly delicious. as much as you like the way he looks, you like his mind a whole lot more. if only you knew what was going on inside it.

oscar is an enigma, quiet, hilariously dry, the kindest man you’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. you’ve been together since the start of the winter break, november, after awkward run ins and plenty of pining since the start of his first season. you’d travel to races with your dad, a mclaren sponsor, and run into the australian, stare at each other and pretend no one noticed. after months of teasing from lando, oscar finally got the kick up the arse that he needed and you’d said yes to dinner before he’d even finished asking the question.

it’s february now, a week til he needs to be in bahrain. the last three months had been serene, spent with a man made of sunshine, and you’re sad to see him go, as if you won’t be in the emirates a mere four days after him. you fear the way you’ll ache for him, having been inseparable since the dinner that started it all.

but then again, it can’t be worse than the way you ache for him now.

“sweetheart?” oscar is waving his hand in front of your face when you realise he’s been calling your name for a good 15 seconds, and you have, in fact, been staring. hm? you jump, staring at him bewildered. he looks amused. “you okay?” he coos, sliding the coffee across the island towards you.

“yeah, sorry, i, um, i just- why won’t you have sex with me?” you blurt, slapping your hand over your mouth as soon as you realise what you’ve just said.

oscar just blinks, mouth forming a little o, the permanent blush he seems to have increasing tenfold. you instantly feel guilty for ambushing him, but you were at the end of your tether. three months of nothing, nada, zilch. every move you made was refuted, ignored as if he was oblivious. you were ravenous for him, he’s so gorgeous! and you didn’t want to pressure him, but you were starting to feel like there was something wrong with you.

you’d wake up in bed with him wrapped around you, grinding against your ass in his sleep, and you’d revel in it, the rare times that he actually seemed to want you like that. you loved him regardless, of course you did, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t need to be… dealt with. urgently.

“i- um- what?” oscar splutters, and the bottom of his mug blinks against the granite.

“is there something wrong with me? am i not pretty enough?” you whisper, shy. “do you just not… like- do you not want to do that?” you ramble.

panic fills his face, and he’s rushing around the island, by your side in an instant. he takes your hands into his, finding your eyes. they’ve grown watery, a mixture of guilt and desperation swirling in them which makes him feel ill.

“baby, no, god no.” he rushes the words out, desperate to convince you that it wasn’t you. “you’re the most beautiful person in the entire world, prettiest girl i ever saw.” he promises. “i’m just… it’s scary.”

“oh, osc.” your face falls, and you want to throw yourself off of the balcony. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to pressure you. if it makes you feel better, i’m scared too. but i love you so much, i just want to feel even closer to you.”

“you didn’t make me feel pressured, i’m just sorry i made you feel unwanted. trust me, i want you like that. drives me insane. but i’ve never had sex before with someone that i love. not the way i love you, anyway. scared that i won’t be good enough for you.” he murmurs.

you’re hung up on the part where you drive him crazy, the part where he loves you like that, and then you remember how vulnerable he’s being, baring his entire soul to you, and you rip yourself from the fantasy.

your hands smooth over his shoulders, until you’re softly fisting a clump of hair at the nape of his neck.

“i love you. insanely. we’ll go slow.” you state. he moulds further against you, and you quickly realise it’s for leverage, because the next thing you know, you’re in his arms. he has his hands hooked under your thighs and he’s kissing you so, so deeply that you’re dizzy. you don’t realise that you’re halfway to his bedroom until he pulls away.

“i don’t wanna go slow anymore.”

oscar places you on your feet at the end of his bed, the large, plush king-sized mattress that is currently calling both of your names. your blouse gets unbuttoned first, his hands shaking in a way that makes you melt, and his lips trail over every inch of bare skin that he uncovers. when it finally falls to the floor, his pupils are blown wide, his hands palming intricate black lace. your jeans are stripped away mercilessly, his hands shaking less now, and you take it as a sign to crawl backwards onto the bed.

he stands there, watching you, apprehensive again. you can see how hard he is, how desperately strained his cock is through the light grey of his sweatpants, and so you switch tactics. your hand grazes your tummy, skimming up your abdomen until you reach a bra strap. you toy with the elastic, holding the kind of eye contact that makes him twitch, tugging it until it hangs loosely off of your shoulder.

“i need you, osc. i trust you.” you utter, soft and enticing. one finger runs under the cup of your bra, flicking over your nipple. he can just about see the hardened bud through the lace of your bra. it’s not enough, though, and every ounce of self control depletes when you whine, “want you inside of me so badly.”

the elastic band snaps and he’s on top of you, rutting between your legs like a man starved. you drag his shirt up and over his shoulder blades, moaning as you feel each and every muscle under your fingertips.

“just wanna make you feel good.” oscar rasps, rolling his hips even harder into your core.

“take these off.” you beg, pulling at the waistband of his joggers. he somehow musters the strength to pry himself off of you, just long enough to discard the uncomfortable material of his sweats, but as soon as he looks down, his plans change.

painted over the crotch of them is a shiny pool of your slick, and when his eyes flit hungrily to your core, he sees where you’ve soaked through your panties. you’re panting when you see the stain, and you just want to get him inside of you, but his priorities have changed. oscar collapses between your legs, head buried, tongue exploring.

he groans, carnal and needy, into the fabric of your underwear, laving his tongue over the lace. your eyes widen as he dives in, licking over the wet patch until he grows frustrated. you hear the tearing of the fabric, feel his big hands pawing at your thighs to spread them as wide as they’ll go. his tongue slides right inside of you and he whines. he fucking whines. the vibration nearly makes you scream. you can’t believe this is your oscar, the same oscar that had quivered with nerves a mere five minutes ago.

“oh my god.” you chant, rolling your hips against his face. you must be all over him by now, what with the way he’s sucking and slurping, obscene sounds of wetness sounding around the room. you’d be blushing a deep red if you weren’t so turned on, shaking against his bedspread which will probably need changing once he’s done with you.

you thought that maybe he was inexperienced and that was the source of his fear, but if he was, you never would have known. he was a natural in between your legs, nipping at your clit to get you even louder for him.

you cum faster than ever, and he’s mumbling something incoherent into your pussy when you do. you’re riding the high, midway through the bliss, when a thick finger slips its way inside of you. oscar realises that he can easily slide another in, and he does. he doesn’t thrust them in and out, he grinds them against your walls, and your mouth falls open as a silent scream forces it’s way out.

you cum a second time, in record time yet again, and he still doesn’t let up. he’s hitting that spot relentlessly with his fingers, keeping your clit between his swollen lips, and you’re begging him. for what, you’re not sure, but you’re whimpering his name like you’re going to die. and what a good way to go this would be.

his eyes meet yours, and he looks unhinged. that’s when you feel it. that all consuming, belly twisting rush.

“oscar!” you try to warn him, but it’s too late, and he knows it. he makes you squirt, because of course he does. the shy guy who was scared that he wouldn’t be able to please you makes you squirt.

he pulls his mouth off of you but keeps his fingers buried deep, eyes fixed on watching the way your pussy convulses.

“holy shit.” you cry. you’re staring down at him like you’ve gone insane. he’s smiling innocently.

“was that good?” he almost sounds shy and you want to kick him.

“are you… are you serious?” you rasp. oscar just shrugs. “get up here.” you reach for him and complies, slotting himself between your legs once more.

oscar resumes the rolls of his hips, and the friction of the grey fabric against your core makes your eyes roll back.

“please, oscar, fuck me.” you whine, his head falling into the crook of your neck. he bites down, leaving behind the sting of his teeth and a faint purple splotch.

“fucking love you.” he slurs, his accent thickening in a way that makes him sound that extra bit fucked out already.

“i love you.” you murmur, forcing his sweats down his legs. his boxers are wet, just like your panties were, and you can’t help but stare. oh, it’s big.

his boxers are peeled down and you can feel yourself throbbing. his cock hangs heavy, red and dripping, painfully hard. you reach for it, looking at him to make sure it’s okay to touch, and he’s rapidly nodding his head. your small hand struggles but you make it work, and his head tips back, exposing his thick neck that you want to suck purple. your hand works over him a few times, and a visible shiver running through his body makes you stop.

“you ready for me?” he asks through gritted teeth.

“please.” you gasp, locking your legs around his waist. “however you want me, ‘m yours.” you breathe.

oscar’s eyes roll back in his head, your words sending his brain blank, and then he’s pushing home, slow and deep.

“fucking hell.” he groans, guttural. you’re so tight, warm, soaking wet. he feels like the biggest idiot in the world for waiting so long for this.

“oh.” you gasp, your eyebrows knitting together. he’s so deep. “so full.” you pant.

“can you take it, sweetheart?” oscar’s lips bump your jaw. “want you to take it.” you nod profusely, desperate to hear him run his mouth even further. your eyes clench shut when you feel him move, just the tiniest bit, readjusting.

“move.” you plead. he’s staring down at you, watching every single micro movement of your face.

oscar pulls out the smallest bit and thrusts back in, nice and slow. the drag drives you feral, the weight of him on top of you makes you weak. you want to stay like this until the end of days.

“good?” he hisses, trying to keep composed. he’s finally inside of you, claiming you as his in the most intimate way of all. he tries not to think about how many times he could have had you begging under him in the last three months.

“so good, so good.” you repeat, pushing your hips up to try and meet his.

“so pretty like this for me. always so, so pretty.” he rambles. he realises that he never quite made it as far as getting your bra off, and he needs to see all of you. the cups are tugged haphazardly down, and oscar stares at your breasts like he’s never seen tits before. you hear him hum, low and greedy, and then you feel the wet drag of his tongue across your nipple.

the animalistic whine that he rips from you makes him thrust harder, upping his pace a bit. he can hear how much wetter you get when he picks up his pace, and he changes up his rhythm, pushing all the way in and dragging out again at lightning speed. your jaw goes slack and your eyes are damp.

“baby, what’s wrong?” oscar slows to a stop, and you want to scream.

“no, no, no, keep going.” you choke out, your throat constricting with a sob. “it’s so good. feel so good.” you sound drunk, all for him, and he loses his mind completely.

he taps into that athletic stamina, fucking into you with a newfound vigour that you didn’t think was humanly possible, and you feel things that you didn’t even know you could feasibly feel. you see stars behind your eyes, his face, and nothing else but bright white. calloused fingers find your clit, and you wonder fleetingly if he’s trying to kill you when he rubs messy shapes into the much too overstimulated bud. his teeth graze your nipple, and everything seems to come together perfectly.

thick tears run hot down your cheeks, only to be licked away by eager tongue. your belly tightens, aflame for him; he’s wound your body up perfectly and you’ve never in your life teetered so dangerously over the edge.

“can feel you, baby. want you to cum, okay? ‘n then i’m gonna fill you up.” oscar grunts. you clamp down on him even tighter, thanking god for oscar’s filthy fucking mouth and birth control, and then everything snaps.

you think you scream, you know that you’re sobbing, and your throat is raw when the wave hits. oscar keeps going, intensifying your pleasure, and when he finally let’s go, it’s the most beautiful fucking thing you’ve ever seen. it’s surreal, the way his neck flexes, eyes clenched tight, brown locks flopping over his sweat damped forehead. and the sounds he makes, god. he’s muttering into your ear, lewd and shameless, and a fifth orgasm nearly takes you under.

“gonna need you everyday like this, tight fucking pussy, all mine. can’t live without this now. fucking perfect.” he’s rambling, burrowing deep into you one last time. you feel his warmth spilling into you, feel his hot breath fanning your face. he licks into your awaiting mouth.

“fuck.” you giggle, breathless.

“good?” he raises an eyebrow, grinning bashfully.

“more than worth the wait.” you whisper, mustering the strength to lift your head just enough so that you can peck his lips. “you better not hold out on me ever again though.” oscar laughs at that and you feel the rumble in your flushed chest.

“you promise?” there’s the shy guy again.

“osc, honey, that was the best. ever. ever. need you to be mr sex god more often.”

“only if you behave for me.” he smirks down at you.

“there he is.” you sigh happily.

when he snakes his way back between your legs, lapping up the mess he’s made, and then some, you wonder just what you’ve unleashed.

-

whoops? lol

-

taglist

@thegirlinthefandoms @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @nokiaholland @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane @jazzy722 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @therealone4r @pleasecallmeunhinged @theonlyadrienne @spideylovin @charli123456789

(run outta space on my taglist lol, lemme know if u wanna be added or removed)

[mrfoox]

Bruh... Discussing anything with Oliver is so fucking juicy. The diffrent perspectives im getting man

[crystallinestars]

Just Confess Already!

A collection of drabbles about how your man's closest companions help him overcome his fears and finally confess his feelings for you.

Characters: Wriothesley, Neuvillette, Kaveh, Tighnari, Lyney, Itto, Childe, and Baizhu.

Now proofread.

Wriothesley:

🐺 Ever since Sigewinne saw you and Wriothesley in each other’s company, she instantly figured out you two liked each other. She knew you had feelings for the Duke because she has exceptional people-reading skills and could see right through you. You tried to hide your feelings from Wriothesley, but Sigewinne could tell how your heart raced when in his presence, the subtle heat in your cheeks and the secret glances you threw his way when you thought he wasn’t looking. Honestly, she might have thought you had a fever at first if these symptoms didn’t occur only when the Lord of the Fortress of Meropide was around. Since you hid your feelings, Sigewinne assumed that you weren’t certain if Wriothesley liked you back, to which the Fortress’s nurse could only shake her head because how can you not see he likes you?

🐺 Wriothesley knows your favorite tea blend like the back of his hand, and yet he constantly invites you to try out a new blend he made that he thinks you’ll like. Everyone knows how much the Duke loves tea, but surely you can tell that he uses the tea as an excuse to get you to stay longer and spend more time with him? Moreover, Wriothesley shows off more in front of you, trying to impress you with his extensive tea collection intellect, hospitality, physique—anything, really. Sigewinne could tell how his body language shifted to appear more confident, how his voice pitched a little lower to an almost sultry timbre, and yet despite his laidback smile, the micro-expressions on his face told her clear as day that he was nervous about interacting with you. Much like you, he hid his feelings because he wasn’t sure if you liked him. Even when Sigewinne tells him that you do like him back, the Duke doesn’t fully believe her, the idiot.

🐺 Once she gets fed up with watching the two of you pussyfoot around each other, Sigewinne comes up with a covert plan on how to get at least one of you to confess their feelings. She comes up with excuses to send you over to see Wriothesley (and as expected, he keeps you around longer than you intend), finds out what foods and flowers you like to pass that information to Wriothesley in a casual conversation (and suddenly you find your favorite snacks or flowers delivered to you from an unknown sender), and consistently eavesdrops on your pair to make sure things were going smoothly. As expected, her plan works like a charm and it doesn’t take long for Wriothesley to confess to you, much to the Melusine’s delight. Later on when she and the Duke have lunch together, she’ll congratulate him on his new relationship before smugly saying “I told you Y/N liked you too.”

Neuvillette:

⚖️ Neuvillette’s emotions were generally a mystery to most people, even to the Melusines working under him. However, all it took was for one Melusine to see the soft and tender look in the Chief Justice’s eyes when he gazed at you during one of your outings, and before long, every Melusine in Fontaine heard the news that their beloved Monsieur Neuvillette found a human to love. At first they were just rumors, but a few Melusines working at Palais Mermonia confirmed that the reclusive Iudex did indeed make time in his busy schedule to see you regularly. The evidence all pointed to the idea that Neuvillette and you must be lovers, because why else would the Chief Justice give you such special treatment compared to most other humans? Their assumption was almost correct. Neuvillette did indeed love you, but the two of you weren’t a couple.

⚖️ With this revelation, the Melusines begin approaching you more frequently than before, many of them greeting and congratulating you. When you ask them what they were congratulating you for, they only reply with “Why, on your engagement of course!” before skipping away to carry out their duties without giving you a chance to ask who you were supposedly engaged to. Your puzzlement persists until one day, when you were having your regular meeting with Neuvillette to relax over a cup of water tea, a Melusine approached your pair to congratulate you on your engagement to each other. You almost spat out your drink as the puzzle pieces fell into place, and could only watch with wide eyes as Neuvillette gently corrected the Melusine, telling her that you weren’t engaged before patting her head in comfort. Though he appeared his usual composed self, internally he was as flustered as you. Understanding her mistake, the Melusine sheepishly apologized before leaving to tell her sisters the truth behind your relationship.

⚖️ The news sadden the Melusines, but they figure that if the two of you aren’t together, then they can help you! In their eyes, both you and Neuvillette really liked each other based on how each of you behaved around the other. A few of them take it upon themselves to give you a little push by telling you all about how kind, gracious, just, and reliable Neuvillette is. He’s so amazing, surely you want to spend your life with a man like him by your side, right? As for Neuvillette, though Melusines aren’t experts on human courtship, they observed enough human couples to give the Iudex suggestions on how to court you. One Melusine recommends he give you flowers, and Neuvillette doesn’t have the heart to disappoint her, so one day he gifts you a bouquet of flowers while awkwardly avoiding your gaze. The process of getting you two together is a slow one, but once you finally become a couple after a long period of pining, the Melusines celebrate and congratulate you (this time for good reason), overjoyed to have helped bring your hearts together.

Kaveh:

🍷 Mehrak may be an artificial life form, but it can tell that its owner likes you. Like, really likes you to the point of doodling your image in his sketchbook, saving up as much money as he can to take you out to eat, and taking a ridiculous amount of time getting ready when he has plans to meet up with you. He has to look perfect for you, or so Kaveh told Mehrak. Having seen how infatuated it’s owner is with you, and also seen the lovestruck gaze you give the architect every time you two meet, Mehrak concludes that Kaveh and you must be a loving couple with how you pine for one another. But as time passes, Mehrak realizes that you two aren’t holding hands, hugging, or kissing like the couples it has seen do, and the sentient suitcase becomes confused. In its mind, you two are already together, so why aren’t you being as affectionate as it knows you want to be? Perhaps you two need a little push to get closer, it thinks, before it comes up with things it could do to help.

🍷 From there, whenever Kaveh designs new buildings, Mehrak will do its best to incorporate design elements it knows you like into Kaveh’s sketches. Kaveh knows what you like too, and easily recognizes your favorite flowers in the garden blueprints, fountains in the courtyard (because you said you like them), as well as your favorite vases and rugs in the interior blueprints. They’re not what Kaveh was planning, and he scolds Mehrak for deviating from his vision, but the little suitcase doesn’t stop. When it sees items or foods you like on display in the street stalls, it will fly over to them and give a cheerful chirp as if signaling Kaveh to buy them to give you as a gift. But out of everything Mehrak does, what flusters Kaveh the most is when it drags him to you. When Mehrak spots you in the distance, it grows excited and flies over to greet you thereby yanking the poor architect with it who can do nothing but hold onto his creation for dear life.

🍷 Mehrak’s efforts eventually pay off because there comes a point where Kaveh can’t stop thinking about you. He already thought about you a lot as evident by his sketches of you in his private notebook, but Mehrak’s actions served to constantly remind the architect of you and made him fall even more in love with you. It’s at this point that Kaveh gathers up the courage to finally confess to you. Mehrak couldn’t be happier to see the two of you together once you accept Kaveh’s feelings, even doing a little happy dance in celebration of completing its mission.

Tighnari:

🍄 Collei won’t know that her teacher likes you until one fateful evening when she heads toward Tighnari’s living quarters to ask him a question, and accidentally overhears him and Cyno talking about Tighnari’s romantic feelings for you. It comes as a surprise to her because she genuinely had no idea her teacher loved you. He didn’t seem to treat you any differently from anyone else, but that’s only because Tighnari does a really good job at keeping his feelings on the down low. Now that she knew, suddenly everything made sense. All the times Tighnari freed up his busy schedule to provide you help when you asked for it, the way he attentively listened to you and was the first to help if you got injured, his many gifts of various potions and plants that were good for your health, and even the fact that he frequently let you touch his ears and tail were all subtle signs of his affection for you!

🍄 With this new knowledge in hand, Collei schedules a day to hang out with you. Her main goal was to get your help with some of her reading materials since you often helped her when Tighnari was too busy, but her second reason was to ask you about your feelings for her teacher. When she works up the courage to breach the question, she gets the best answer she could have hoped for. You told her you really liked Tighnari, and Collei’s eyes practically sparkle in excitement. She respects your request to not tell Tighnari about your feelings, but unfortunately ends up breaking that promise, but not of her own free will.

🍄 When she tried subtly pushing Tighnari into courting you, she wasn’t as slick about it as she thought because her teacher is too perceptive, and Tighnari quickly found out what she was planning. The forest ranger confronted her about her strange behaviour, and Collei felt pressured to tell him everything. She tells him all about the conversation she overheard between him and Cyno, how his feelings for you were mutual, and about her good intentions to help you and him get together. Tighnari isn’t mad at her. If anything, he might thank her later for giving him this information, but not before giving her a talking-to about messing in other people’s business. Though her plans didn’t go as expected and she had to reveal your secret, in the end, things still worked out the way she hoped. After that fateful conversation, Tighnari sought you out to finally make his feelings for you clear, and Collei felt a sense of accomplishment at having done something good for the people she cared about.

Lyney:

🎩 Lynette knows pretty quickly when her brother develops a crush on you. The way he ekes out time out of his schedule to visit you regularly and his constant flirting are some of his tells. And if that wasn’t obvious enough, then the silly grin he wears while talking about you, and the magic tricks he designs and practices for hours on end just to impress you with are all Lynette needs to know that Lyney is down bad for you. Knowing about her brother’s romantic feelings, Lynette will tag along with him during some of his meetings with you to observe and get to know you better. She is pleasantly surprised to learn that you like Lyney back, and finds some amusement in watching the two of you grow flustered with each other’s flirting. Even so, she honestly would much rather not witness her brother flirting and trying to court the object of his affection since she finds it icky and feels like a third wheel.

🎩 Despite her reservations, Lynette does her best to support Lyney’s love life since she wants him to be happy. She watches Lyney’s feelings grow from a crush to full-fledged love over the passage of time, and the growing nervousness and anxiety that comes with it. Lyney spends a lot of time coming up with magic tricks to impress you with and practices them until they’re polished and come like second nature to him. Even so, he still gets really nervous about performing them for you, even doubting whether you’ll like them. That’s when Lynette comes in with words of encouragement and support to try and ease his nerves. If that doesn’t work, she tells Lyney point blank that you like him back. Had these words come from anyone else, Lyney wouldn’t have believed them. However, because it’s Lynette whom he knows is really good at reading people, Lyney believes her, albeit with a great deal of questions about how she can be so sure about her deduction.

🎩 Even now knowing you like him back, Lyney is still too nervous to confess, so Lynette changes tactics. She tries to give you hints about Lyney’s feelings for you, calling out his behaviour right in front of you by saying things like “You’ve never given me any Rainbow Roses, and yet give Y/N a whole bunch of them!” or “Lyney pulled a lot of all-nighters to try and perfect this trick just to show you”, much to Lyney’s dismay. Lynette does this in part because she likes to tease her brother, but also because she hopes you’ll get the hint and maybe confess your feelings first if Lyney won’t. Regardless of who confesses first, the end result will still be Lyney and you becoming lovers because Lynette can be a surprisingly good wingwoman. It brings a small smile to her lips to see the two of you happy in each other’s company now that your feelings are out in the open. All she wants is for her brother to be happy, and she’s glad that he can find that happiness with you.

Itto:

🐂 The Arataki gang had long been aware of Itto’s feelings for you, what with how frequently Itto talks about you and how he turns into an awkward, blushing mess when you’re around. Genta, Mamoru, and Akira decide to team up to concoct a series of plans on how to finally get you and Itto together, and agree that first Itto should try to court you to win your heart. They recommend Itto a bunch of romantic and affordable gifts he could give you, street stalls to take you to for delicious (and cheap) food, as well as the type of compliments Itto should say to flatter you (though all Itto can manage is “You have, uh… really nice hair!”). It's a whole operation the gang affectionately calls Operation: Helping Boss win Y/N’s heart. Shinobu has to keep a watchful eye on the proceedings of said operation lest her friends get carried away and start planning an expensive wedding before you and Itto even become a couple.

🐂 When Itto feels like it’s time for him to confess his feelings to you, he invites you to meet under a large sakura tree. The Arataki gang come along with him and sit in the nearby bushes to spy on the two of you. You’ll hear hushed “You can do it, boss! We believe in you!” from the bushes as the gang members encourage Itto and give him thumbs up. As much as Itto appreciates his boys’ support, now is not the time, he thinks as he looks at you with flushed cheeks, flustered by his group’s antics. Shinobu facepalms off to the side before dragging Mamoru, Akira, and Genta away to give you and Itto some privacy, but silently wishes him luck with his confession before leaving.

🐂 The gang eagerly awaits the results of the confession, feeling just as nervous as Itto. However, they don’t have to wait long because Itto’s loud whoop of joy soon reverberates through the area, indicating that you accepted his feelings. A little while later, the boys will throw a party to celebrate the occasion, splurging on some tasty food and drink, and congratulate Itto on finding love. Though they want to find love themselves, they’re still incredibly proud of their boss because they know the effort it took him to get to this point. Even Shinobu offers Itto a couple of words of congratulations. From then on, the gang will work hard to welcome you into their group and give you as much respect as they give Itto due to your status as his lover.

Childe:

🐋 From the way Childe talked about you in his letters, his younger siblings were convinced that you and him were already dating. Wanting to meet the person special to their big brother’s heart, they begged and pleaded with him to invite you over to introduce you to them. Once Ajax relents and brings you to meet his family, his younger siblings swarm you with questions about yourself and their brother, before Teucer enthusiastically asks when you’ll be marrying Ajax. You exchange awkward glances with Childe, and before the Harbinger can even attempt to resolve the misunderstanding, with a heavy heart you explain to Teucer that you and Ajax are not even dating (hearing that kind of hurts Childe, he won’t lie).

🐋 The expressions of shock and disappointment that Teucer and the rest of the younger siblings give you is honestly heart-wrenching and makes you feel a little guilty. “So, you don’t like big brother?” Teucer asks sadly. You correct him and admit that you do like Ajax, but you don’t specify exactly how. The children will pester you to tell them what kind of “like” you mean, but thankfully Ajax saves you from their badgering. Only Tonia figures out that your “like” is more of a “love”, but she is smart enough to not blab about your feelings to Teucer and Anton.

🐋 Despite their earlier disappointment, the children take a liking to you and constantly ask Ajax to bring you along on their family adventures or simply invite you to play games with them. During your hangouts, the children tell you about how Childe talks about you in his letters, basically ratting out his feelings for you much to Childe’s mortification. They also try to convince you to date their brother because, in their eyes, you two make a cute couple and Ajax looks really happy when next to you. The children won’t know if their words managed to convince you until the night when you and Childe were preparing dinner in their kitchen. Tonia and her brothers had a question they wanted to ask you, however as they approached the kitchen, Tonia overheard you and her older brother discussing your feelings for one another. With a smile, she quietly lead Anton and Teucer away to give you two some time to sort out your feelings, though she’s confident that by tomorrow you will be an honorary addition to their family, and perhaps a real member sometime in the near future.

Baizhu:

🐍 Changsheng can easily tell that Baizhu likes you. The doctor is always polite and cordial, but with you he acts especially sweet and takes time to have a casual chat with you when you come to pick up your medicine. Fed up with constantly seeing him giving you pining glances, Changsheng asks why he won’t just confess to you and get this pining over with, to which Baizhu retorts that he’s too busy to manage a proper relationship. He worries he would be too busy to give those he loves enough time and attention, but he also fears that you don’t feel the same way. His response and stubbornness frustrate Changsheng.

🐍 Her frustration continues to grow when she observes you and notices that telltale nervous and bashful behaviour of yours whenever you talk to Baizhu. You don’t behave that way when talking to Qiqi or Gui, and you also inquire about Baizhu’s health often, clearly worried about him. Clearly, you like him more than just as your doctor. Changsheng feels like screaming when the three of you are in the same room together, forced to endure watching both Baizhu and you pining for one another, yet not making a move.

🐍 One day, after seeing yet another exchange between you and Baizhu that’s full of hidden longing yet leads nowhere, her patience finally snaps. “Ugh, I can’t take it anymore! Why won’t the two of you confess that you both love each other? It’s so obvious!” she exclaims and slithers out of the room with a huff to cool off her temper. She caught brief snippets of you asking Baizhu if what she said is true, before going out of earshot. She fumes for a little while, grumbling about how foolish you’re both behaving before making her way back. To her delight, she glimpses your rosy cheeks and happy grin, as well as Baizhu’s relieved expression from behind the doorway, and realizes you two finally confessed. At long last, after all this time she thinks and sighs in relief. Changsheng decides to extend her break and come back later, wanting to give you and Baizhu a chance to properly sort out your newfound relationship. She hopes Baizhu is prepared for the long talking-to shell give him about dragging out this situation for so long, but until then, she’ll guard the entrance to the room to make sure no one interrupts you.

[aldryrththerainbowheart]

I just know that Jason desperately craves love and affection but is completely befuddled every time he receives it.

The first time you hug him he freezes with his arms raised a few inches from you, unsure what to do. When was the last time someone touched him in a nonviolent way? He can't remember. He just stands there as you press against him even more, nuzzling your face to his chest. You show no signs of letting go, so he has no choice but to slowly wrap his arms around you. This is...nice. He realizes as he curls his frame around you even more, inhaling the scent in your hair. Anytime he wants cuddles, he very subtly stands or sits very close to you waiting for you to get the hint. And when you do, he's very hesitant to let you go. Good luck trying to wrestle out of his arms.

He's still getting used to all the praise from you. Every time you tell him how strong he is, how smart, or how handsome he is, he tries to brush it off with some cool oneliner, but his voice is audibly cracking and getting redder by the second underneath that mask. I feel like it's usually Dick who's considered the charmer, the guy who has girls fawning over him. Jason's the scary one. But to you, Jay is not scary at all. He's the most handsome thing you ever laid eyes on, and you make sure he knows that. And after some time, Jason goes out of his way to impress you and get even more praise from you. Flashy moves during combat, dangerous stunts on his bike, and witty comments. All that just so he can bask in your admiration. He visibly puffs up every time you do and there's spring in his step for days to come.

You're not just a fan of Jason Todd, but Red Hood as well. He's your favorite vigilante. Who needs a hero? They're boring anyways. The first time you visit Jason's apartment and see the red mask sitting on the shelf, you have a moment of embarrassing fangirling. You beg Jason if you can touch it, holding it as if it was some holy relic. Jay thinks you're so adorable when you're gushing about every Red Hood prop you find in his place. It's not every day someone admires and not fears the Red Hood. You even go out of your way to make Red Hood merch for yourself, since there are none on the market. When Jay comes from patrol and sees you clutching the bean plushie version of him his heart melts to a puddle.

[appleblueberry-pie]

Explaining your First Love to the Yandere's

A/N: "The Yandere's", meaning as many yandere's i think I can characterize as yandere's as perfectly as possible without burning myself out. Also, are the pictures too much?????? Also, I couldn't find a good pic for Sugu without picking the one where he's literally going insane LMAOOO. Love how my semi-debut for my yandere characterization for him is shown w a not so pleasant picture of him(they're all perfect). Anyways, this is probably gonna be my most chaotic, yet organized, post about jjk ever. I have a solid plan and will go through with it. It's friday and this is me "letting loose" before the weekend. Also, the first love story will be pulled from my own experience. With multiple twists to it to make it sound as interesting as possible.

SCENARIO:

"Mmmm. I remember my first love." You hum in a pleasant tone as you start to reminisce events of who you first gave your heart to. "I loved him so much, it was insane. Because....we grew up with each other. We used to be like this." You twist your fingers together, smiling at him as you explain. "He was an embodiment of me, as I was of him. I don't remember a time we weren't friends. I think it helps to mention that our mom's were friends and they were neighbors. So....we've always known each other. He's a year older than me."

You two were out in the park on the grass. He suggested a little picnic together, hoping to bring you two closer so he could possibly make more moves to be more than a friend. But you were so oblivious to it, even going as far as talking of your first love as if you still missed this stupid asshole.

"I still miss him." You go silent for a few seconds and stare down at the checkered blanket, smiling. He gapes a little and resists the urge to scoff. "We both loved playing video games, we watched the same tv shows, went to the same elementary school....a lot of things happened between us. He didn't like me back, though. I confessed to him when I was 9 and he said no." You laugh. "But even then, I still loved him. I still feel it, too. For some reason, my love for others doesn't really go away. Just sits at the bottom of my heart to make more room for others."

You sigh and continue talking about the guy. "He just grew more and more....attractive as I grew up. I am pretty sure he's why I have my type that I have in men currently. He's very tall....a deep voice." You sigh, closing your eyes to remember. "Relaxed, closed off.....I heard him on the phone when our moms were talking a month ago. He sounds....so different. I don't even know what I'd do with myself if I saw him again." In real time, he watched you unravel slowly to show how.....inf*tuated you were with this guy. You were so focused on naming his qualities. As if you could picture him perfectly in your mind.

"I'm so glad we don't talk to each other anymore. I ruined our relationship. Said a few inappropriate things I shouldn't have said at the wrong time. I haven't spoken to him in....6 years. And I'd rather it stay that way, honestly. Because he's a rather boring person outside of his physical attributes. But I have attachment issues." You pick up one of the snacks laid out between the two of you. "Yeah. I'm done talking about him. I would rather not think of him anymore."

YANDERE REACTIONS:

Sukuna:

Sukuna was baffled. Anger, frustration, fear, and even jealousy kept his tongue from moving. He thought this moment wouldn't ever happen in his life. He thought this wasn't a possibility. Your extreme disloyalty to him was what made him clench his hands in anger. But if he rationally thought about this, you don't know. You don't know how much he loves you. How much the Ryomen Sukuna loves you. You were supposed to be his in all lifetimes. He felt like he absolutely knew you were pure. You smelled pure and your energy felt pure when he first met you. So why were you fixing your mouth to say such disgusting and unfaithful words to him as if he wasn't right there?

He wanted to ask you if you've been trying to give yourself to him like a whore, but he knew that was just him overreacting. He wouldn't ever say such things to you, anyways. He wanted to change for you and was trying, starting with these stupid little date settings he knew you loved. A fucking park. And here he was being stabbed in the chest multiple times without your knowledge of it. It was all your doing.

He might be human in this lifetime. He might be nothing but a mere human for you to toy with freely, and he would let you do it to him. But he would never allow a puny roach get in the way of getting what he deserves. He deserves you and he will have you, one way or another. And if that means cutting a small piece of your heart out just to keep the rest, then so be it. He can't have any piece of you in him. Just thinking about him makes another vessel pop in his body somewhere. He will kill this thing.

Kento:

Maybe he was overbearing. He really just couldn't help but feel insecure. There should be no real reason for you to bring up a man from the past. Someone that should clearly be out of your mind. Was he boring? What did that fool have that he didn't? And why did you mention it while you two were on this date??(It wasn't a date, but it felt like it to him) Maybe he was too plain. Men like him were just smokers and loners, of course you'd bring up someone else that can satiate your desire for real love. It's all because he couldn't. Not in the way you want to be loved.

But he knew, he knew that he was enough. He knew he was your type as well, so, what did you mean by he was the type you have in men?? What does that mean for him? Will you use him and throw him away? He doesn't want to be used and tossed out like trash. He wanted to be yours forever. He wanted to be your man. Your man. He wanted to be your lover, your obsesser and the one you obsess over, not that imbecile. He wanted to be skin to skin, he wanted to be under your skin, he wanted to make his mark on you and for you to do the same to him. He deserves your love. But here you are expressing it for another man you haven't even spoken to in over 6 years. He deserves that type of commitment, there's nothing he's done to deserve it this late.

"I love you." The words slip out like oil on water. And it makes his heart oh, so much lighter.

Suguru:

"Heavens. I'm glad you aren't talking with him now." Suguru chuckles and shakes his head, peeling off more strawberry leaves for you. "This is why." He points with the strawberry at the people walking past and then gives you the strawberry. "This is why I don't want you talking with them. They do this to hold you in their clutches, I've seen it." Suguru sighs as he recalls your story in his mind. Jesus, was it trying to hypnotize you? If so, it was working. No worries, it won't be around to mess with your mind much longer.

"They actively lie, they laze around, let their emotions control them, and then try to manipulate you to stay with them to be their stepping stool." He brushes your hair back neatly, and you scrunch your eyebrows at his words. "But I know you're better than him. Better than all of them." He calls out your name and stares into your eyes with a look that makes you flustered. What is his problem?

"You are the light. You are one of the most strongest and intelligent sorcerers I have seen of this time. You hold up your potential and continue to blow my mind with how beautiful your soul is. I am constantly drawn to you and your energy, I never get enough of it. I don't ever want to hinder you and I don't want anyone else to hinder your energy. That's why I will kill that filthy animal that tried to touch you." It's scary, the way he maintains eye contact with you and spits the nastiest insult about the man you once loved with your whole heart.

"I can't wait to get to know you better. You've been teaching me so much. Maybe you can tell me about your favorite nature spots and we can relax there whenever you're free. And sometime later, I could also take you to meet my family. You'll love my two daughters." He laughs lightly, knowing Nanako and Mimiko would adore finally having a real mother worth of raising them. Together, you and him would be unstoppable.

Choso:

Choso was finished with peeling the mandarin for you. You kind of were confused about how he went about doing this, though. Because all over his lap were the smallest bits of mandarin peels you've ever seen. But the mandarin looked perfect. He obviously took his time. He handed it to you softly, smiling. You accept it happily and begin peeling.

He was surprised he didn't rip the thing apart then and there. Maybe be should peel things more often. The way you so freely spoke about your love for another man when your soulmate was sitting right next to you, peeling fruit open for you was preposterous. He needed a hug. A lemonade, had to kill someone, something. But he stopped killing people for you(secretly), so he has to resort to acting like he's peeling off that devil's skin. Starting from where the shiny skin first shows. The first piece is always the hardest to pick off and it's hard to choose where to begin. But soon enough, the color underneath began to show. He slowly picked off every. Little. Piece. He heard a yelp of pain and cries of "sorry's" in his head for every piece.

Every single little piece made the air smell more and more sweet and tangy. The more you spoke, the faster he picked. The stronger the smell was. So citrus-y and delicious. It made him smile. He loved peeling this mandarin. Then picking off white strips connected to the mandarin itself, so that it was smoother and you had no access peel. Like veins, they came off one by one. He simply stared at it when he was done. Smooth, perfect. Scattered remains laying everywhere on his lap.

He's never felt this way before. What were you doing to him? What is this twisting feeling in his gut that makes him want to puke? Why can't he breathe? Why does he want to kill the kids and mothers at the playground not too far away? He needs you to calm him down.

He hates this park.

"Here you go, angel." He hands it to you, smiling. You looked a little confused at first, but then took it from him, opening it to take a slice. "Oh, this looks real nice, Cho. ......Why are you smiling like that?" He shrugs, picking up one of the strawberries you brought from your place. "Like what...?"

Toji:

Toji was silent. The awkward silence he was creating between the two of you made you nervous. He was sitting close to you, leaning over to you, his arm supporting his weight behind your back with your shoulder touching his chest. He was just staring down at the bowl of strawberries. ".....Toji?" Your soft voice made him sigh.

No, he couldn't do it. Killing you won't kill the pain and anger in his chest. This was probably the angriest he's ever been. He wanted to shout at you to apologize for how you were making him feel. But what he really wanted was to feel your lips on his and for you to shut the fuck up. For some reason, every time you open your mouth, it always ends with him degrading further and further off the side of sanity and just going completely ballistic.

You saw his hand on his hip. The hip that wasn't actually his hip, but was his gun he was resting his hand on. He would feel so much better if those shrieking rats would shut up. Fucking rodents running around you two freely like he wasn't about to ruin everyone's day.

He wouldn't say he was often traumatized, but he could've went his whole life without hearing that story. Now he has to find a random man and kill him for stealing your heart. I mean, the least the bastard could've done was reciprocate his feelings and not leave you feeling helpless. "I could treat you better than that dick." You flinch at his words before smiling, averting your gaze as well. "Oh....." He leans in closer to your face. "Where does he live, huh? Is it the prick with the glasses?" "No?" "The one you work with?" "I-I told you I haven't-" "Eh, whatever. I'll find him and kill him." He smiles at your bashfulness and grabs a few strawberries from the patch.

Sometimes he forgets you don't care much for how he says things. If the right message gets across, you usually don't mind how he says it. But he just blatantly threatened to kill him. You grab the leafless strawberries from his hands and begin eating. Nah. You were his, for sure. He sighs and lays down on the blanket, staring up at the blue sky.

Satoru:

Satoru nodded along with your words, his hands trembling. When you smiled, he did. When you sighed, he would, too. And when you finished your story, he had to swallow the thick bile in his throat. You were just....recalling old memories, that's all. Nothing else. He tried to focus on the grass blades he felt through the blanket. He tried to focus on the sounds of the kids running around squealing.

He watched you eat some of the cold grapes he brought you. They were big, and you praised him lightly for finding such a great batch. He nods quietly and stares down at his lap. Everything was fine. You were fine, and so was he. "Satoru...?" Honey dripping naturally in your voice makes his head turn automatically. The worry etched on your face made the strings holding his mind together break one by one. "Are you alright..? You're sweating."

Nothing was fine. He can't believe you just said that to him. Why would you..? Why did...? Why?.....wait, why?? Why??? Why why why why why why WHY would you do that? Why would you say that to him? He sacrificed so much for you. He killed all of the assassins that went after you when the higher ups found out about you and him getting closer. He paid off your parent's debt secretly. He paid your rent. He woke up early in the mornings to talk to you because he knows you like to wake up to see the sunset. He memorized all of your schedules when you have special weeks, special breaks, he memorized all days that you memorized, he knows what mattress you like to sleep on, he knows how you like certain foods to be seasoned, he knows your favorite weather and season, he didn't fucking learn all of this about you for nothing!! WHY don't you ever appreciate everything he's ever done for you? Why don't you notice him? Why don't you love him? He stalks you every day to understand the type of man you would want to live under your roof and be under your covers and that wasn't enough.

He's been so alone all of his fucking life. No one understood him like you do. He couldn't help but open his ribcage, breaking them off of his body to one by one to let you touch his hot beating heart with your cold fingers. He wants you inside of his heart forever and never let you go, can't you understand that? He hasn't slept in three days, predetermining what he was going to say to you during this picnic, and you tell him that?? Just fucking kill him. Kill him, kick his face, spit on him, ruin him like you're doing now. He clearly doesn't matter.

"Satoru??"

He's supposed to be the one you compare playing video games with, he is supposed to be the one you watch the same tv shows with, he was supposed to go to the same school as you!! His skin is on fire, he can't breathe, his mind hurts, the grass blades are irritating his skin and the children are making his migraine worse. Are you saying something? He can't hear you. His ears are ringing.

He wants to be him. He wants to rip open the skin and spine of the man who lived in your soul since the dawn of time and crawl into his body to experience what he experienced. He wants to do all of those things with you as kids and live with you, grow with you, let him be your infatuation. He wants to rewind time. He wants to die. He wants both of you to die and be reborn to be given a second chance he can never ever have.

"Satoru!"

Your face is twisted into heavy concern and slight fear. Satoru sat in front of you, staring at you. He hasn't moved in three entire minutes. His face was covered in bucket loads of sweat, his lips twisted into a tight smile that threatened to break into a million pieces. The corners of his lips wobbled as if he was going to cry, but his eyes were wide open and dry. His legs, arms, and back stiff as he sits in such an uncomfortable position, it had to hurt. You were scared for him.

Can he hear you? You slowly raise on of your hands to touch his cheek and he flinches under your touch, finally blinking. "Yes?" You purse your lips and bring out a cold water bottle from your basket. "Here, maybe you should drink some water." He takes the water bottle you dropped into his hand. "Thank you." He whispers and sighs, twisting open the cap. You watch him guzzle the whole thing in 5 seconds. "......maybe we should go indoors." He nods, closing the now empty water bottle. "Yeah. The sun is hurting my eyes."

No part 2's. Because I don't like continuing old plot and I love seeing people go crazy for me not continuing good content.