#and I’m really mad at myself for letting myself forget

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[lilgynt]

also jumping off that last post i forget i’m not like. i’m not saying i’m popular but i’m not a loner? like i post something on my story on insta come back have like 17 messages like oh fuck me

[dumplingsjinson]

List of random dialogue prompts (pt. 2)

“If you felt want and longing the way I did — the way I still do — I promise you’d be driven fucking mad.”

“I wanted the thrill of the chase more than I wanted you.” 

“You really couldn’t have been any more obvious.” “That’s because I didn’t have anything to hide. I was being obvious, because I needed you to know, without a doubt, that I love you.” 

“This is literally the worst moment for me to be saying this but considering how we could die at any second, I need to get this off my chest before I become buried six feet under, without a chance to say any of this to you: I love you. I’ve loved you since we were kids. I’ve loved you every second of my life; from the moment when I knew what loving someone really meant.” 

“I kinda knew I lost all feelings for you when I realised I didn’t want to communicate with you about the problems that were happening between us. I became complaisant.” 

“Loving you is as easy as overthinking everything.” 

“It’s… easy with you. Nice. I don’t have to be someone else to impress you, because I know you love me for me.”

“There are parts of me I’d never thought I’d show to anyone else, but then… You came along, and for some reason, you made me want to be honest with you; bare my soul to you.”

“So what in the hell are we? I’m not doing this unless we’re on the same page.” 

“Please don’t tell me we’re nothing to you… That I mean nothing after everything’s that happened.”

“You’re my emotional support human, and I love you so, so much.”

“If you ever need me, I’ll be right here. Just as I’ve always been.” 

“I’d let you break my heart, if it means I’d get to have you for even a day.” 

“You make me feel like dancing in the pouring rain wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” 

“You’re astoundingly unhealthy for me, but do I care? No, because I wouldn’t have fallen if I cared, especially when I’m someone who’s usually so careful with whom I give my heart to.”

“…I didn’t drunk call you. It wasn’t a drunk call. I called you, perfectly sober.” 

“You’re someone I want to tell things to.”

“What’s more important to me is that I’m your last love.” 

“This… This hurts me more than it hurts you.”

“Falling in love wasn’t on the agenda.” “Do you mean falling in love with me out of all people wasn’t on the agenda?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’m kind of in love?”

“…I want all of you. On top, under, whatever — I don’t care, I just want you.”

“Maybe I can help you forget about them.”

“It’s easier to pretend I’m still in love with them, than leave them in that state.” “You know you basically lying to them about your feelings is gonna hurt them more in the long run, right?” 

“Why does it have to be them? Why can’t it be me?”

“I’ll give you two seconds to take that back.” 

“You gotta work for it, love.” 

“We can pretend that didn’t happen.” “I’m sorry, but I’m not as good of an actor as you are.”

“I don’t know how to… I’ve never done this before.” “Then follow my lead, okay?”

“I’m someone who falls in love easily, but I’m also someone who can’t get over someone as easily.”

“I want to make this work, because I don’t— I don’t want to— I can’t lose you.” 

“You make me want to be a better version of myself.”

“I don’t wanna mess this up with you.” “You won’t. I promise, you won’t, so just… Do whatever. I trust you.”  

“Why are you smiling at your phone?” “…I was looking at the mail app, and uh… Received some good news?”

“Because love isn’t linear. You know that, right?”

“I’m not doing this for you — I’m doing this for myself.” 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person for you.”

“I’m here to stay. At least until you want me gone, which I hope is never.” 

“Chasing you is like chasing the rainbow… It’s impossible. You’re always slipping away no matter how fast I run after you.”

“Don’t give me that it’s not you, it’s me bullcrap. It’s us both. We’re both at fault for this relationship breakdown.” 

“God, I just like you so, so much.” 

“I think I need to get over you for me to feel better again.” 

“You and your stupid smile… Stop that.” 

“I just need you in me somehow, please—”

“I really hope you realised they were flirting with you.” “…They were?”

“I’ve caught feelings for you, and I know you don’t like me back that way so I just… Wanted to tell you, before I decide to let you go.”

“I’ll be here to pick up the broken pieces if that’s what you want me to do, but I’ll leave if you’re not ready for that… For something more with me.” 

“I love you, but I… I don’t think I see a future with you.” 

“Give me a week. A week, and I’ll be back to normal. A week, and I’ll… I’ll be over you. Just a week and you’ll have the old me back. It’s that easy, I promise.”

“I kinda wanna give myself a concussion so I can forget about you and not think about you twenty-four-seven.” 

(pt. 1) | (pt. 3)

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

It’s a running joke in the manor that Tim’s kid was like a cat

And he would never admit that he could kind of see it himself.

The climbing, the ability to go from zero to a hundred in energy, and unfortunate ability to be too cute to actually get mad at him for anything he does.

Finding said son running out and about when there was breakout was pushing through.

“Hi Dad!!”

“Danny! What are you doing out here?!it’s still lockdown chickadee!”

Danny looked down at the ground and scuffed one of his shoe against the pavement.

“I know… but you’ve been gone so long and I’ve been worried!”

Tim sighed and tapped his comm,

“Oracle, please keep lookout for the next couple minutes.”

And crouched down in front of his son,

“You haven’t been home in a while and I missed you..”

Tim sighed as he wiped a tear from Danny’s face.

It was almost unfortunate how much the kid took after him.

“Kiddo I’m sorry, that’s my fault, I know we haven’t been able to hang out for the past week-“

Danny stomped a foot in frustration,

“No you don’t understand! You forget to sleep when you don’t come home ‘n’ great grandpa Alffie said we got to sleep because it’s good for you ‘n’ that when you don’t you are more likely to get hurt! I don’t want you hurt!”

Tim wanted to argue, and say that he was fine. He’s been taking cat naps between searching and the fights. If it was anyone else in his family he would’ve done so.

But this was his son, his little chickadee who loves so much and worries about himself so little.

He needs to set an precedent before bad habits emerge.

Picking Danny up, Tim set him down onto his hip and stuck his chin on his head.

“You’re right, I guess I haven’t been being nice to myself like I’m supposed to. How about we go back home and I’ll lay down with you for a couple hours?”

Danny peered up with glassy eyes,

“Can you stay for breakfast?”

And didn’t that just hurt to hear? Faded memories of asking that same question only to be given this almost pitying look danced in the back his mind.

“Sorry kiddo, but we just don’t have enough time before our flight but don’t worry when we get back we’ll have a family day, just the three of us!”

Clearing his throat Tim met his son’s eyes.

“Sure champ, and when we finally get joker back in Arkham we can ask everyone to have a family day, how does that sound?”

Stars almost seemed to take over Danny’s eyes as he let out a little gasp.

“Really?!”

“I promise.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, many of Danny’s mannerisms were reminiscent of a cat, but this was new.

Tim pinched his eyebrow in exasperation as he looked at his siblings.

He wished he never got up this morning.

“And how exactly did Danny somehow get a crowbar?”

The kid in question just happily swung his legs as he sat on the bench unaware that he himself was going to be getting a far longer conversation as soon as they got back to the manor.

“To be honest.. in hindsight, not my brightest moment.”

“WHY IN GODS NAME A CROWBAR?!”

“He said he needed something to help take care of the trash! I thought he would use it like a knapsack or something!”

Jason Thew his hands in the air, and Dick let out a snort while he nudged the mess of a clown next to him.

“Well he very much did use it for something.”

“Nightwing! I’m just as mad at you for somehow loosing the kid this badly to begin with!! You. Are. Not. Helping.”

“I know but I’m just saying, he gets his dramaticism from you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the end of the day, Joker ended up paralyzed from the neck down.

Jason and Dick were both no longer allowed to babysit Danny alone.

And one little munchkin was, though very much grounded, hailed a hero by all of Gotham for the actions that were live-streamed by onlookers.

And once he was no longer grounded, he did get his family day.

[benedictscanvas]

pretty boy, pretty girl - jamie tartt x reader

pairing: jamie tartt x fem!reader

word count: 2.1k

a/n: okay yes. it has been six months. which is actually mad to me, but there we are - whoops! i've been off following my dream and wrote this while procrastinating an assignment, so this is by no means a return!! honestly i was just itching to write it, but i don't know how much time i have for more - enjoy nevertheless <3

warnings: just a little bit of suggestion towards the end, reader is referred to as 'pretty girl' as the title implies amongst other pet names, quite a lot of swearing (some things don't change)

---

“Hi love.”

Jamie barely murmurs it as he walks past you, can’t help himself but to drag a palm along your back, one shoulder blade to the other, as he goes. 

He knows he’s bold sometimes, but he swears it’s instinct. He glances back to see whether your expression holds any discomfort, but all he finds is your grin, a tiny wave. He continues on his path towards the canteen, knowing that your corridor conversation with Rebecca is probably important.

Somewhere between here and there, he decides to get your lunch, your usual, and sits alone on a table until you appear.

You do, three and a half minutes later. As soon as he sees you, the irrepressible urge to make you grin again is back with a vengeance. He waves you over to his table with a gesture to the food he’s got for you and- there it is again.

If he was a slightly smarter man, maybe he’d consider why all it took was the sight of him to draw your lips upwards, set your eyes alight.

“Thought I’d save y’ from the queue,” he speaks, still soft, in a tone he feels he only uses with you. You match his unnecessary low volume.

“Thanks, angel,” you say easily, and you must not see his stomach doing flips, “Too good to me, you are.”

“Shut up,” he deflects, wonders if you can see him fluster at your nickname for him, “Are you still coming tonight?”

You groan. He frowns, and you quickly correct.

“Sorry. It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, you sound proper convinced, an’ all.”

You chuckle, taking a bite out of your sandwich and taking a pause to chew. Jamie eats too, content to let you think before you speak. It was slowly teaching him to do the same.

“I’m just boring, Jamie. My favourite people are all under this roof, but usually they’re sober, you know?”

He often forgets you don’t really drink. Your friendship (however sour that word feels in relation to you) usually confined to these halls, to the pitch, to various football stadiums up and down the country. When they all get a chance to let loose, you’re very quick with the excuses, but he’s believed them blindly until this moment.

“Shit, y’ don’t drink, right? I can’t imagine that’s much fun in a club. I won’t tell anyone if you happen to come down with an illness or somethin’ this afternoon.”

You’re grinning at him again, all bright and sunny. It’s downright infectious, so Jamie nudges your foot with his on purpose and then apologises like it’s an accident.

“You’re alright,” you reassure, “I will join tonight. Even if it just proves to myself I’m not missing out on anything. Maybe Colin’s not as bad a drunk as I’ve been led to believe.”

Jamie winces.

“No, he is pretty bad,” he admits and then finally comes up with something to make you more comfortable, “Hey, what about this? I won’t drink either and we can spend the evening laughin’ at everyone else.”

You poke his hand and he tries not to drop his crisp packet.

“It’s everyone’s ‘relax and recharge’ night, Ted said. We both know you relax much easier with a few drinks in you. And I’d never judge anyone for that, I really hope it doesn’t come across like I’m judging any-“

“It doesn’t, sweetness,” he cuts in, “But actually, I’ll relax better if I’m one hundred percent positive that you’re relaxing too. What better way than judgin’ everyone else, together like?”

You purse your lips thoughtfully, mid-chew. He feels like he’s holding his breath, like he’s underwater and you’re in charge of the oxygen tank.

“Well, see how you feel when we’re there. It sounds lovely but only if you’re still up for it when we’re right next to a bar,” you say, still unconvinced. He wants to convince you fully, but he can’t decide if he should argue with you or kiss you silly before you speak again, “Hey, if not, I’ll buy you a drink?”

“Pretty sure that’s my line, love.”

“I said it, I meant it. Girls can buy drinks for pretty boys, you know.”

He thinks you might have removed his oxygen tank now. There’s some cruelty in that sentence but you don’t know you’re wielding it. He wills himself to flirt back even though it’ll only make him feel sick.

“Okay, pretty girl. One passionfruit J2O, please.”

Another grin. He’s so fucking fucked.

---

He’s been waiting for you for around forty minutes. He doesn’t know if that’s the normal amount of time you take to get ready, even if he wishes he knew, so he just waits, leaning against his car.

After fifty, he decides there’s no harm in just checking you’re alright and haven’t slipped on a sparkly floor that an evening cleaner has done a number on.

You mentioned going to the kit room to get changed, and he meets Will on his way there.

“Hey mate, you seen Y/N?”

Will looks paler than he’s ever been. Guilty. Jamie narrows his eyes and waits.

“Kit room.”

It’s all that Will says. When Jamie doesn’t walk off immediately, still waiting for an explanation for Will’s strange demeanour, Will turns around and legs it all the way down the corridor, turns left at the end and never returns.

Jamie shakes his head and continues in the direction of the kit room. The closer he gets, the more he hears. Muffled banging, shouting. He picks up the pace.

“Y/N? Love?”

“Jamie! Jamie, in here!”

Your voice floats out from the kit room and he hurries over. Still very confused, Jamie turns the door handle and finds the door won’t budge, however hard he shoves his shoulder against it.

“It’s locked, babe. Did you lock it?”

He hears your exasperated sigh and feels a little embarrassed.

“No I didn’t bleeding lock it! Well, I did, when I was getting changed, but then when I unlocked it my side it had been locked from the outside.”

Jamie struggled to put the dots together. Had Will locked you in? Judging by the running, he had… and he’d done it on purpose. A spark of anger shot down Jamie’s spine but he tried to convince himself there must be a reason.

Before he could, there was a hand on his on the door, pulling him away. It was being unlocked by another hand and then he was being shoved inside, hard enough to stumble against one of the benches. A piece of paper was thrown at his face and Jamie groaned as he heard the lock click back in place.

“What the fuck?” he muttered as he stood up fully, more dazed than angry now as he stared at the locked door.

“Jesus, Jamie, are you alright? Who the fuck was that?”

“I dunno,” he says, staring at the door as if it might have answers. Your hand on his face wakes him up, his eyes shifting to yours where you look him over with concern.

“You’re alright, though?”

You ask it like you need the answer, and Jamie needs you to stop trailing a finger along his hairline either way.

“Fine, love,” he assures you, patting the juncture between your shoulder and neck gently until your hands drop to your sides. Then he raises his voice, and he’s not really talking to you anymore, “Whoever’s locked us in here as some kind of joke won’t be fuckin’ alright though!”

No answer. He picks up the small piece of paper from the floor and reads it in his head.

Tell her, you prick.

He’s actually going to hit Roy with his car. Lightly, definitely not enough to damage him, but enough to really, really piss him off.

This was all some ridiculous attempt to make him tell you how he felt about you? Absolutely not. Never. He wouldn’t be coerced into something so delicate, so important.

“What’s it say?”

You’re peering over the top of the paper, but he folds it in two before you can read anything. His chuckle comes out strained.

“It says: Get fucking pranked. Must be Roy, he’s probably scared Will into helpin’ him, the fucker. I’m afraid it’s payback for putting all his socks on the ceiling last week, babe, an’ you’ve been caught in the middle.”

You pause, staring at your shoes. For some reason, you look far more forlorn than the situation calls for, but it’s gone before he can think about it further.

“On the ceiling?”

He nods and you giggle. It’s only as you step away from him in your laughter that he realises how close you had been. He should’ve savoured it.

It’s also only as you step away that Jamie finally gets a glimpse of your outfit and nearly reaches out to the nearby bench for strength. He’s never seen you in a v-neck anything before, let alone a dress, and he thinks it might do him in.

“You look good,” he says lamely, then tries again, “Great. Fan-fuckin’-tastic, I mean.”

“I like that last one,” you smile, ducking your head. He thinks, or rather hopes, you’re a little flustered, “Fan-fuckin’-tastic happens to be what I was going for.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, words gone as soon as he’d found them. And now he was staring. Shit.

“I like your suit,” you say, maybe breathless yourself. It must be his ears. You reach up as if you might fiddle with his lapel but just point towards it before your hand drops again. You practically fall down onto the bench you’re both stood beside and he follows, ever obedient, “Shame no one else will ever see it. How long do you think we’ll be stuck here?”

The suit isn’t for anyone except you. That’s what he’d say if he had any stupid bravery. He’s an awful coward, he thinks.

“Until Roy gets bored or Keeley finds out I reckon,” Jamie guesses, “Y’ wanna play I-spy?”

You sigh, but when he peeks at you out of the corner of his eye, you’re grinning your silly, lovely grin again.

“I spy with my little eye…”

---

It is around 11pm, when Jamie has not long fallen asleep against the jacket he had scrunched behind his head, that he feels your hand on his ankle. He can tell, as he wakes without opening his eyes, that you’re not trying to rouse him. The touch is light, feathery. Maybe an accident.

No, not an accident. It wouldn’t have lasted this long, and your thumb is drawing absentminded circles into his ankle bone. You think he’s asleep and you’ve reached out to hold him anyway.

He opens his eyes but doesn’t move. His legs are stretched out on the bench in front of him and you sit upright next his sock-clad feet, one hand on his bare ankle. You’re staring at a piece of paper so intently he wonders what could possibly be so interesting.

“This doesn’t say get fucking pranked, Jamie,” you murmur, and his hand flies to his jacket pocket. It must have fallen out when he slumped into a slumber. He’s sat up in a blink, watching the hand that had been so soothing, fall back at your side suddenly.

“I’m sorry. Shit. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“No, don’t,” you insist, still staring at the piece of paper. Instead of whirling on him for answers, you reach calmly into one of the boot cubbies beside your head and pull out a piece of paper from one of the boots. You chuck it at him without looking.

He unfolds it with careful, if shaky, hands.

Tell him, you silly shit.

It takes him an absurdly long time to understand what the hell this second piece of paper means. Later, when the two of you look back on this moment (and you do so often), you’ll wonder how he could have been so dense and he’ll spin you a line about how too good to be true it all felt. But in the moment, he has no lines and no words, until your hand lands heavy on his knee this time.

“Jamie,” you say softly, through a grin that is so different from your usual that he could pass out. It’s so beautiful and so strikingly lovesick that he thinks he might actually be sick, “What do you have to tell me?”

“What?”

He feels dumber than he’s ever felt. But your hand is still on his knee and now you’re shuffling closer to him on the bench.

“What do you have to tell me?” you repeat, then you poke his chest playfully as you add, “You prick.”

He still looks confused, so you clearly decide the best way to catch him up is to kiss him.

You pull away after a moment, a moment of pure heaven, because clearly you don't want to kiss him fully until he's all clued in.

"Come on, pretty boy," you say, teasing, "Figure it out. I was going to buy you a passionfruit J2O. It's the sign of all signs."

He should be laughing at your joke, but all he really wants to do is kiss you again. And again.

Maybe again.

"Oh pretty girl," he says, and he feels the rumble of his low tone in his chest. He places a hand on your face, fingers itching at your hairline, "I'll tell you anything ya wanna hear, I swear. Anythin'."

He hears your breath hitch, but he feels it too, where the meat of his palm is covering your neck.

"Anything?" you answer back, "I could have a lot of fun with this."

You scrunch up your brow like you're thinking and he's so stupidly in love with you that he just tells you. Too-soon be damned.

"Smooth talker," you laugh, giddy, and you kiss him again. And it's so good that he doesn't even remember you didn't say it back until hours later.

(at which point, you say it back so many times and in so many ways, Jamie is certain that he's the luckiest man in the world. he might not hit Roy with his car after all)

[daddyslilchickenfingers2]

Breakup Help (Chris)

Request: None (Reupload of the second fic I ever wrote and it’s lowkey shit)

Warnings: Friends to lovers, slight angst, insecure Chris, minimal degradation, eating out, basic sex

Y/n’s pov

About two weeks ago Chris’ girlfriend of two years cheated on him with his good friend and unfortunately, Chris walked in on them fucking. It had completely broke his heart, he’s been depressed and hasn’t left his room in days, he just cries and gets mad at his brothers for trying to make him eat a real meal. Matt had called me asking if I would go over and try to talk to Chris and cheer him up since I’m his best friend.

I agreed to go over since Matt and Nick were going to be staying at Madis for the night, needing to have a meeting with Laura anyways. I got my stuff together and went to the store to get Chris a Pepsi, goldfish and a monkey stuffed animal before heading to their house. I used my key to open the door, immediately going down to Chris’ room only to hear him crying really hard.

I knocked on the door softly “Hey buddy, can you unlock the door so I can come in please?” I spoke in a soft voice trying to be comforting. “No go away” his voice cracked as he responded, “Please Chris? I wanna give you a hug and I have something for you” I pleaded. After a loud sigh, Chris unlocked the door and I let myself in, he looked like hell, his hair was a mess, he hadn’t shaved in a few days, and had red eyes with massive bags underneath, I felt bad for him. I set the stuff I brought him on his desk and threw my bag and shoes on the floor before making my way over to the sad boy on his bed. I sat down, pulling him into a tight hug, rubbing his back as he clung onto me and cried.

“Why would they do this to me? Am I really that disposable that they can just move on and forget about me?” he cried out as he pulled away to look at me “No you’re not, you’re a great person and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend or boyfriend, I’m sorry they did that” I said as I moved his hair out of his face. “S-she said I di-didn’t make her feel good and-d I have a small dick! B-but she always acted like it felt g-good! And s-said I was a ba-bad kisser. They both called me super ugly too” He spoke softly, stuttering over his words as he looked down with tears still streaming down his face.

“Awe Chrisy I’m sorry” I laid next to him on the bed as I spoke. “Now I feel really insecure…” he looked up at me with a sad expression, “Y/n do you think I’m ugly?” He questioned, making me give him a small smile. “Absolutely not, you’re very attractive. You have the most beautiful eyes, a stunning smile, perfect hair, the cutest little freckles, a very charming personality, the prettiest lips, really nice hands, should I continue?” A light blush spread across his face as I complimented him. “You think I have pretty lips and nice hands?” He questioned with a small smirk “Is that all you got from what I just said?” I asked rolling my eyes.

He replied with “No I also got that you think I’m cuuute” cracking a small smile. “Shut up or I’m leaving, you’re never getting complimented again I’ll just say you’re ugly” I rolled my eyes going to get up but he moved to lay on top of me so I couldn’t move and tightly hugged me “NO! I haven’t stopped crying since I caught them, you can’t leave you made me smile!” He said as he hid his face in my neck, “Fine I’ll stay if you get your fat ass off of me” I said pushing him off of me. “Don’t be mean to me, I’m vulnerable” He pouted “You owe me a hug now”

Chris had fallen asleep on me about 30 minutes after I got here but he needed the sleep so I didn’t bother him, a few hours had passed and he had just woken up. “Good morning sleeping beauty” I laughed at him making him whine and move his face away from my neck now laying on his back “Mmm if I’m sleeping beauty then I can’t wake up until I get a true loves kiss” he puckered his lips up and closed his eyes, earning a smack from me “Nice try bud” “It was worth a shot” he laughed.

We decided to watch a movie, Chris munching on the goldfish I brought him, before turning to me “Can I ask you a weird question” he asked earning a nod from me. “Remember what I said earlier?” “You said a lot earlier so you gotta be more specific” “What I said about h/e/n, when she said I was bad in bed” he sighed. “I don’t like where you’re going with this” “Just hear me out, would you um let me like make out with you and give you head? OH, and would you tell me if you think I have a small dick?” He pleaded with me.

I sighed sitting up to look at him “I love you and all but n-“ I didn’t get to finish because he interrupted me. “Before you say no…” He sat up moving his face closer to me, “…can I pleeeeaaaase!? If you don’t like it I’ll stop, I just need feedback on exactly what doesn’t feel good. please, it won’t be weird I promise!” he said, giving me the cutest pout. “Fine only because you look really cute when you make that face” I reluctantly agreed.

Chris pulled off his hoodie and shirt claiming they would make him “too hot” before throwing his blankets off of us sitting on his knees and pulling my face closer to his. I could feel the stubble underneath my fingers when I gently cupped his jaw, his eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips for a second before smashing our lips together. The kiss was hot and needy, Chris’ tongue slid across my bottom lip as he slowly pushed me to lay on my back making me gasp, allowing his tongue slide into my mouth as he moved to hover over me.

My other hand came up to to tread through his hair as his moved to my thigh, I don’t know what h/e/n was talking about when she said he was a bad kisser because that’s most definitely not true. Chris started leaving sloppy, wet kisses down to my neck before sucking deep purple hickies into my skin, pulling away when he heard a small moan come out of me when he sucked on a specific spot. I looked up at him, he was biting his lip looking at me “So how was that?” he asked. “Hmm I think I need one more for good measure” I teased as he smashed our lips together again.

This time he was a lot more rough, slightly sucking on my tongue making me loud out another whiny moan into the kiss. Lightly biting my bottom lip as he pulled away, wearing a cocky smile on his face. “Sooo” “One of the best makeout seshes I’ve ever had, I think you know that” I finally answered “You’re right, I just wanted to hear you say it, pretty. Now can I take off your shirt?” he replied. I just gave him a simple nod, he slid my shirt over my head looking down at my exposed breasts making him groan. He started kissing down my neck again, this time moving lower to leave hickies all over my chest before he wrapped his lips around my left nipple to suck on it, switching to do the same to the right one.

He moved lower, occasionally nipping at the skin of my stomach before he stopped at the waistband of my sweats. He slowly pulled my sweats off and started leaving teasing kisses on my thighs, his hands sliding up my sides as he started slightly sucking hickies into my thighs like he did to the rest of my body. He looked up at me, his eyes now so blown out that there was hardly any blue left, we made eye contact. He pulled away and smirked at me “You’re pretty I hope you know that”

Chris came up to press a soft kiss to my lips “How do you want me to get you wet?” He asked with a light blush across his face. “Just do it however you normally would, okay?” I cupped his face as I spoke, feeling the stubble underneath my fingers. “Okay but if I do that I have to take my pants, is that fine? I’ll still have my boxers on.” He said as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “That’s fine but please stop being so nervous bubs, don’t let that stupid bitch get in your head!” I said pushing his hair back, he just nodded and took off his sweats.

Chris kissed me again for the umpteenth time tonight, licking my bottom lip asking for permission as he presses his hips down against mine. He started grinding against me as we made out, one of his hands coming up to grab one of my tits playing with the nipple making me moan. I felt his cock starting to get hard as he gently bit my bottom lip, I threaded my fingers through his hair and lightly tugged on it. I sucked on his tongue a little bit making him groan into the kiss before he started trailing his kisses down my body once again.

He aggressively pulled my panties down and threw them somewhere behind him, groaning when he saw how wet I was. “Damn, I really made you this wet?” he asked running a finger through my folds, I sheepishly nodded. Chris wasted no time, immediately pumping two fingers in me while kissing my thighs. He curled his fingers up, hitting my g-spot making me gasp before he wrapped his lips around my clit. Chris’ tongue started flicking the sensitive bundle of nerves as he kept curling his fingers up, slowly adding a third one. “Fuck Chris if you keep doing that I’m gonna cum” I moaned out, with his free hand Chris took one of my hands and placed it in his hair. I got the hint and started lightly pulling his hair not wanting to hurt him but his free hand came back to mine making my grip on his hair tighter and made me pull harder causing him to let out a groan.

The vibrations from his constant groaning make me get closer to my high, resulting in me placing both hands in his hair. Chris removed his lips from my clit “You like that baby, am I making you feel good?” he asked with a smirk before removing his fingers and replacing them with his tongue. “Sooo g-good Chris, gonna make me cum soon” I whined out as I felt my high approaching. Chris’ fingers started rubbing my clit in fast, tight circles, flicking his tongue in and out of my hole faster. “Oh sh-shit Chris, fuck ‘m gonna cum” I loudly moaned, tightly gripping his hair, making him groan, sending me over the edge.

After he had licked up all my cum, Chris hovered over me, his face shiny and covered in my cum. “So was it any good?” He asked with a cocky smile, already knowing the answer “You taste so good by the way, I might’ve just found my new favorite meal” he said winking. “Very good, the only thing that could make it better would be if you make out with me again” I responded while biting my lip. Chris came closer to my face so that our lips were almost touching “That can be arranged” he said before smashing his lips against mine, pressing his hips against mine once again, fully hard this time.

I grinded my hips up against his making him let out a loud groan “Fuck Y/n/n don’t do that, I’m already hard, I don’t need you making me hornier. It’s already gonna suck trying to ignore it, so d-don’t do tha- sh-shit” As he spoke I trailed my hand down his chest to his cock, giving it a squeeze. “Why don’t we prove the last two things she said wrong? Show me how good you can fuck me with your big cock Chris” I bit my lip and I moved my fingers to toy with the waistband of his boxers as I looked into his eyes. “Are you serious? Because I dont think I’ll be able to control myself if I fuck you and I don’t wanna be too rough or hurt your feelings” He spoke softly as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.

I leaned up to place a kiss below his ear as I whisper “What if I like it rough and have a degradation kink?” I asked before sucking a few hickies into his neck as he processed what I just said. “And I’m on the pill so you can fuck me raw if you want to” I added making him let out a deep growl pulling his boxers down as he placed his lips on mine, teasing his tip through my folds. Chris placed his tip at my entrance, slowly pushing the mushroomed tip in before slamming the rest of his length into me. He pulled away from the kiss looking down at me waiting for me to tell him to move, once I gave him a nod he started pumping in and out of me at a slow pace.

“Chris, faster, please” I whined out as my fingers went to pull his hair. He started speeding up his thrust as we both let out moans “Goddamn you’re so fucking tight, squeezing my cock so good baby” he groaned out, speeding up his thrust even more, my nails starting to dig into his back as I moaned loudly. Chris dropped his head to look down between our bodies to watch his dick pumping in and out of me. “Ch-Chris you’re so big f-fuck! Ohh right th-there!” I whined out when he hit my g-spot repeatedly, I started sucking more hickies into his neck to match mine. “Yeah, you like that baby? You gonna cum all over my cock like a slut?” Chris growled out moving his hands from my waist, the left one going to rub my clit while the right one starts to toy with my nipples.

I grabbed Chris’ right hand bringing it up to my throat, loving the way his jaw dropped for a moment before turning into a smirk as he wrapped his fingers around my throat to choke me. “You’re such a fucking whore, letting your best friend destroy your tight little pussy!” Chris groaned as his thrusts sped up, his fingers on my clit doing the same as he repeatedly hit my g-spot. “I’m gonna cum! Fuck can I please cum!” I begged, whimpering as my nails scratched down his back, Chris’ hand squeezed my throat harder only adding to the pleasure. I felt his thrusts starting get sloppy signaling he’d was close too.

“Cum all over my cock baby, be a good little slut for me.” Chris groaned out. I came around his cock, my walls squeezing tighter around him, making him shoot his load inside of me. Warm spurts of cum painting my walls white. After we both road out our highs Chris stopped rubbing my clit and removed his hand from my throat before pulling out, causing us both to hiss at the feeling before he plopped down next to me. We both caught our breath before Chris spoke “That was something huh?” he chuckled out “I’m gonna be honest h/e/n has absolutely no fucking idea what she’s talking about because that was amazing” I said rolling over to face Chris, who had a big smile spread across his face.

Chris placed a sweet kiss to my lips, smiling into it when I kissed back, he moved some hair behind my ear after we pulled away “Thank you, for everything. You definitely made me feel so much better tonight, now let’s go get cleaned up and then we can go to sleep. I mean if you want to stay, y-you don’t have to it’s okay-y to s-“ he started saying nervously before I cut him off with a kiss. “Chris you don’t have to keep being so insecure with me dude. I’m not h/e/n, I actually care about you and I love you, you’re my best friend. Now come on let’s go shower and then we can cuddle okay?” I said while stroking his cheek. We got up and took a shower getting dressed after, I wore one of his shirts and a pair of boxers, before going to lay down. I was covered in hickies which made Chris feel proud, this was going to be fun to explain to Matt and Nick in the morning…

Taglist: @aliyahsbody @angelic-sturniolos111 @biimpanicking @biplrbtch @chrisenthusiast @chrisolivia4l @christinarowie332 @chr1sgirl4life @creamoncreamoncream2 @delimeats-000 @dev-speaks @ermdontmindthisaccount @flowerxbunnie @fionaheartswomen @gilbertscurls @heartsforchrisandmatt @iheartchrissturniolo @ilovemattsturn @its-jennarose @justaslvttygirl @kvtie444 @lustfulslxt @luvysworld @m6ttsturniolo @mangosrar @mangoposts @meerkatzthings @mattsnutsack @meg-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @recklesssturniolo @rozariah51911 @slut4chr1s @solarsturniolo @soursturniolo @strniohoeee @strawberrysturniolo @sturnnfilm @sturniolocoded @sturniofilmd @sturniolohoe @sturniolopepsi @sturniolo0ntop @thecynthh @xxloveralways14

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[ethereal-pie]

bullfrog head cannons

I have seen no fics of this beautiful French man so I have done it myself

just a ramble of my thoughts in bullet point form

he is an american bullfrog, he not only looks like one but also there are tons in France

He enjoys warmth and gets grumpy if he is too cold

I feel like he doesn’t touch you all that much but adores cuddling 

If given the opportunity he will burry himself in pillows and blankets ( bonus if they are weighted) especially during winter cuz of his hibernation instinct

He will insist you join him and promise it’s very comfortable 

He isn’t slimy like his real world counterpart but his skin feels very moisturized 

He gets cold super easy and shove himself under your shirt or jacket to soak up your natural body heat 

You also don’t have to worry about it being too hot to cuddle as he is cool to the touch 

He will insist you let him put his cold ass hands on your bare back to warm them up , he will pout if you don’t let him 

Letting him do this will more then likely result in him having his head under your shirt and his face pressed into your back and his hands on your upper stomach 

He usually avoids conventional touch based pda, the most normal pda you’ll get out of under normal circumstances is a peck on the cheek 

Instead the way he shows touch based pda is by sitting on your shoulders

Although if he is super cold he won’t care all that much

 And  Unless your in a situation where being partners with him would put you in danger, he will be  fairly vocaly affectionate

He will call you his beloved and other pet names 

As well as praise, flirt and compliment you

Some of His pet names  involve your name 

He seems like a darling, my dear, love type of person

He will jokingly call you stupid ones as well 

He has a lot of running jokes with you and will tease and joke around with you all the time, he just likes laughing with you in general 

Some of your jokes might take a second to land with him in the beginning but as your relationship continues he will pick up almost immediately 

He tries really hard to be cool cuz he wants to make friends but everyone being stuck on him being a frog annoys him a lil 

He will complain about this to you at least once 

He is trying to be cool and Poetic!

When he is mad he will begin to speak in a mix of French and English but he doesn’t really yell at all, he does talk faster tho 

He will bath for hours but doesn’t like to shower 

He cannot use certain soaps or he will get sick because he will absorb the chemicals through his skin 

He likes the look of bubble baths but if he sits in them he gets sick cuz of the soap In the water 

Given his accent I assume he speaks French but I think he can speak multiple European language, due to his job 

He is very adverse to the idea of eating bugs, he isn’t scared of them but if someone offers him a bug he will be grossed out.

He is the kind of person to not only catch and release bugs he finds inside but he will have little convos with them too

You’ll hear in the other room “hello there my miniature friend.’’ And as he takes them outside “ I’m very sorry but you cannot stay here.” 

His approach to flying bugs is far different, he will take NO PRISONERS

He is very efficient with a fly swatter and knows all the concoctions to lure and kill flys fruit or other wise 

He avoids using his hands cuz of the bug guts 

If you are afraid of bugs he will find it amusing but he won’t tease or torment you, he will just chuckle at how ridiculous you look up on the counter while he captures the invader.

He is very polite and kind to everyone he interacts with unless they have done something to warrant other wise 

He will use French sayings in English  instead of the English one because he is convinced that “ they are far superior” 

Pins and needles are now ants, it’s raining ropes not animals, forget apples and trees, dogs don’t make cats.

If you use the English versions he will argue the French version is better 

“ bolt of lightning explans the felling of it, love at first sight is so bland.’’

Please convert he will find it unendingly adorable every time 

He does get cuteness aggression and will randomly shove his face into your chest and aggressively nuzzle into you whist squeezing you and violently kicking his legs and making a happy humming 

He will be embarrassed the first few times he does this 

He will get cuteness aggression from your cuteness aggression 

If you bite him he will be very confused but won’t care all that much so long as you aren’t hurting him

You will probably be taller then him and honestly he likes it that way because when you hug him he feels like momentarily  he is a totally encased by you 

You can carry him but only certain ways

No toddler hold, with one arm and him on your hip 

Piggy backs, shoulder sitting and standing are encouraged 

You can only sling him over your shoulder in emergency’s 

Same with under your arm 

He doesn’t like princess carry’s cuz he can’t hold on to much and he wants to touch with  max surface area

Carrying him by his armpits away from you has the same problem, he will struggle 

He does enjoy if you hug carry him with both arms, either his face in on your chest or resting on your shoulder 

I have made a helpful diagram ( I can draw but it’s just stick me cuz I’m lazy)

He will randomly start monologueing if given the opportunity 

He will tell you about being an assassin but only if you ask 

I think he is more likely to be with Someone who has prior experience with fighting

He feels nauseous after producing bubbles 

He will lean on or try to be touching you while he recovers 

You cannot truly surprise him, he will know something is up the moment you even begin to plan 

He knows because you act slightly different 

And hiding  or sneaking something past him is also impossible 

He has to actively try to avoid finding out what your doing 

You’ve snuck something into the garage, I guess he isn’t going In There for a while 

Hiding something behind your back, he isn’t even gonna face your direction while you hide it 

You cannot sneak up on him either 

When you try he will scare you by suddenly turning around and grabbing you 

On the other hand he has  scared and surprised you accidentally many times 

hope you enjoy and this inspires more fic to be written of bullfrog

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Overprotective PT 3

!kinda proofread!

Hope you enjoy the last part :)

Don’t forget to throw in some request!

-🩷

(They will be a few time skips)

**

I sat on the dining table down stairs slowly eating my breakfast as the boys were running around trying to figure out stuff and brining their bags down. My bag was already brought down by the help of I.N who didn’t seem as mad at me like the other guys were. So, there was no need for me to go upstairs anymore.

My head phones were on and I was eating up some bacon, eggs and potatoes Leeknow had nicely cooked for me knowing that my stomach normally acts up whenever we had to travel. Which was really sweet of him really.

The house was noisy like usual. People were walking in and out of the house. Chan was running around with papers and passports in his hands in one corner obviously stressed. Hyunjin and Han arguing about who was taking what skincare, leeknow helping I.N figure out his airport outfit and Changbin, Felix and Seungmin were taking selfies to post on bubble.

Once I finish the meal the cars pulled up in our driveway and I grabbed my heavy bag trying to carry it to the car but completely failing. Stupid stylists and packing sending me all these clothes (joking I’m totally thankful for all of them)

"Here let me help you." I.N says grabbing the bags and carrying them into the car. I say a small 'thank you' really appreciating the fact that he didn't stand there and watch me suffer.

We get into our different cars knowing our trio's.

Me, I.N, Felix, then 3 Racha, then Leeknow, Seungmin and Hyunjin. Like always. It didn’t change unless there was some type of security problem. Our car was the loudest in normal occasions but today due to the circumstances, the car ride was quiet.

No one dared to speak a word. I felt myself slowly shutting down because I was so tired because of the lack of sleep.

We had been learning the new choreography the past week and barely got enough time to sleep. Even the boys started to complain about the amount of hours we were putting in.

The sleepy red eyes and eye-bags were the biggest signs.

I was struggling to stay awake there was no lie there. I grab my energy drink and start sipping on it. Hoping it could atleast get me through the walk through of the airport.

By the time we arrive I had finished the drink and put the can in the car trash bin and got out of the car with the boys.

All the fans lining up outside, probably thousands, screaming our names and trying to get a picture or look.

"Let's go this way." The guard says shielding us from the paparazzi's flash lights.

We follow him and meet up with some of the boys making our way to the front of the airport where we all stood in line and waved. Waved at everyone and took some pictures.

I could hear the burning questions of the paparazzi about the pictures from last night. The yelling growing louder and louder. Some were horrible and others were way too insensitive.

"Just ignore them, yeah?" I.N says in my ear and I quickly look over at him nod. Nobody could see the tears that hid behind my glasses. Thank God.

I just knew I had to act normal and act like nothing was getting to me because if I did it would be suspicious if the person in the picture wasn’t ‘actually me’.

"Alright shall we?" The manager motions for all of us to follow him and we do. We follow him all the way through into the crowd and into check in.

"It must not be her it those pictures from last night then. What a scam! Her hair is blonde!" I hear some people whispering in the line that was right next to us.

"Poor girl! All the hate she's getting online is so saddening. Atleast now we know it's not her." The other girl replies while tapping on her phone.

The hate I was getting? What hate was I getting?

I questioned and pull out my phone and scroll through the new articles that read.

"New photos from last night FAKE!" I sigh in relief as people were actually believing it wasn't me in those pictures. Chan was right.

I was happy for a little while until I scroll onto twitter where things started to actually get out of hand.

I start reading each and ever comment under my hashtag. #straykidsY/n

"I knew she wasn't Idol type!"

"This is honestly disgusting how could she do that to her fans"

"Does it mean to at she's getting kicked out of straykids?"

"I told y'all she was disgusting. Y'all didn't believe me"

My jaw is left hanging and I squint my eyes scanning every single comment in shock. Why were people so mean? Why were men sexualizing me as well? Grown men?

"Y/n. Keep walking," Leeknow whispers in his scolding tone. “Your slowing down.” I try and pick up my pace and when we make it past the check in point. I quickly put my phone away and wipe the tears that had fallen.

The heat under my sweater was starting to get to me. It felt like I was slowly suffocating. It felt like the walls were crashing in.

I start to sweat as I access the way we're going.

A lot of people in the airport were staring at us. A lot of eyes were watching us. Watching me probably.

Probably thinking I'm the worst or thinking of how I would like it in my panties. Disgusting.

My hands grow sweaty and start to slowly shake. I feel my legs grow weaker. We're almost at the private jet. We're almost there.

If I can get to the jet that's all. That's all I need to do.

But the icky feeling of throwing up starts to crawl in my stomach. I start to slow down which causes Leeknow to scold me again but I can't, I can't walk. It feels like I'm slowly being pulled into the ground.

"What is it?" Leeknow says holding onto my hand. This causes everyone to also stop even the guards and staff.

"What's wrong?" He looks at me worried.

The cold sweat and pale skin worries him even more and starts to worry Chan now who is now walking from the front to the back.

"P-panic attack." I manage to say in short breathes. I'm leaning on leeknow. My breathing getting shorter by each breath.

"What is it? What going on?" Chan whispers. His hand automatically placing on my back.

"I think she's having a panic attack." Leeknow whispers.

"Fuck, Y/n. Listen, you need to breathe and walk so we can get you somewhere quieter." He talks to me softly, “can you do that for me love?” He asks.

I slowly nod and start taking slow steps. The two older boys standing by my side making sure I don't collapse.

By the time we walk into the jet I gasp for air and walk to a corner far from everyone. Leeknow and Chan following me closely behind.

“Do you need some water? Talk to me what’s wrong?” Leeknow asks kneeling in-front of me.

“It’s so hot, it’s so hot.” I start to panic even more.

My hands rip through my sweater. “Where’s your bag Y/n?” Chan asks and I point by the door. He grabs it and pulls out my small portable fan and points it my way.

A hand on my lap makes me look up. Seungmin standing there looking very worried.

"Y/nie you need to breathe my love. Breathe. Here look at me." He holds my hand and squeezes it. "See your doing a good job. Everything is okay. You don't need to panic okay? I've got you."

The world slowly starts moving at a normal speed again. Seungmin sits by me and pulls me into his arm cuddling me.

"See, there you go baby girl. You're okay now. You're fine." I look over at him and couldn’t help but smile. That didn’t last long when the feeling of nausea hits me really hard.

"I feel sick Minnie,” I say trying to get out of his grip just incase I didn’t throw up I didn’t want to throw up on him.

He furrows his eyes, “What kind of sick love?"

"I'm going to throw up." I take in deep breathes and swallow really hard trying to stop it from coming out.

"Oh my God, hold on let me grab a bag." The sound of panic rises in his voice and he moves to the side. "Chan pass me those paper bags now." He tells him in a hurry and Chan does so.

I grab it out of his hands and start to gag. The gag came with all the breakfast I had eaten. I keep throwing up until my throat and stomach start to burn.

I shut my eyes in pain. A few tears falling from all the exhaustion.

His hand was holding my hair now and rubbing my back waiting for me to empty the contents in my tummy. "Are you done?" I nod my head and he takes the trash bag away.

"Here's water babygirl." Chan hands me the bottle and I drink it then lay on the chair in my eyes slowly closing.

"How are you feeling? Talk to us.” Han pops up out of no where.

"Mmm sleepy." I softly say and I hear a tiny ‘aww’.

"Here are you headphones. Get some rest then in a bit you can have some food yeah?" I hum in response and face the other way so I could fall asleep.

I keep twisting and turning until I can finally get some rest.

*

"Alright welcome to New York!" A big buff guy says welcoming us in the airport. He was accompanied with 2 other big buff guys and a tiny lady.

"You must be BangChan." She smiles and gives him a hand shake.

"Yes I am and these are straykids." He smiles and we all bow saying hello.

"Nice to meet you guys. Okay, so we heard that you guys were tired so we might just do a few pictures outside and then we can head off to the hotels." She says enthusiastically, "Your schedules will be handed to you by my assistant once you guys arrive. Any questions?"

"No not really. No questions as for now. We would like to say thank you for having us and thank you for being our tour manger this time round. We appreciate it. Also as a thank you we braught you some goodies from South Korea." Chan smiles and point to the basket Changbin is holding.

"Oh thank you so much! Please I hope you guys enjoy your stay. If you guys need anything, anything at all do not hesitate to contact me through your managers yes?" Chan smiles at her and we all give her a friendly wave before walking outside to flashing lights and into our different cars.

In the evening a few of the boys came at different times checking in on me. Luckily I hadn’t thrown up or had any other panic attack. I knew they were still mad at me but they wanted to know if I was good or not.

“Why do you guys keep coming to my room if you’re mad at me?” I ask Hyunjin and Han who were the last ones to check in.

“Just because we’re mad at you doesn’t mama we want you to be sick and unhealthy. We still care.” Hyunjin tells me while handing me a cup of warm

Milk.

“True now drink up so we can go for dinner,” I give Han a small smile before drinking the warm milk.

I couldn’t help but still frown though. The unsettling feeling of guilt just lingering in my tummy.

I just wanted my scolding to get over with so that they wouldn't be mad at me anymore and when I was sent a text to go to Chan's room. I knew it was time.

I put on my slippers and quickly make my way to his room and stare at the door.

“God I beg you, let me come out of this room alive. Amen” I whisper a small prayer before knocking.

"Hey you wanted to speak with me?" Chan answers with his laptop in one hand and phone in the other.

"Come in Y/n." He says softly and I walk into his room. Slowly by slowly I notice all the boys seating in different places; on the bed, chairs and tables.

I sigh and take a sit on the chair that was put in the middle of the room obviously for me. It felt like I was in court at this point. A sigh leaves my lips as I wait for them to start.

"Y/n. What you did was the most stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life." Chan says getting serious. His tone getting harsh.

I flinch at this but continue to listen to his scolding.

“Yes Chan I’m sorry.” I softly say looking at the carpet beneath me.

"I am disappointed in you, I really am. I'm not even going to explain to you in depth how much trouble I am in with your parents and JYP. They still think that it wasn't you in that picture because we had to lie and say you were home getting your hair dyed. Your lucky people are eating this shit up." His tone was now getting more harsher.

"As for your punishment,” I take a breath I’m hoping that it would be light, “Your not allowed to go anywhere unless your with the boys. You're grounded for 3 months. All your doing is going for practice, rehearsals and schedules. No where else. Understand?" Fuck.

"Yes BangChan." I say softly playing with the rings on my fingers.

"You can't even be trusted now. All my trust in you is gone. Do you know how many phone calls I've gotten?" I keep quiet. "Answer me, I'm talking to you."

"No Chan I don't" I reply.

"Exactly, so I hope you'll learn your lesson the hard way. Also whoever that little boy is, I never wanna see you with them until your dating contract is over understand? Fuck it I don’t want to see you with any boy at all whether they’re your friends or your bestfriends."

"Yes bangchan."

"Do any of you guys have anything to say?" He looks around the room to the rest of the boys who were giving me very stern looks.

"I hope you really learn your lesson love. We're only doing this because you're still young. You won't get it."

"Yes Hyunjin,"

"Okay now you can go on into your room." Chan says dismissing me.

I slowly get up and walk out of the room and into mine.

Atleast the scolding was over with and I wasn’t thrown out a window. Atleast now they won’t be angry at me.

My knees buckle as I make it into the dark bedroom but I'm able to stay steady. I walk and lay on the bed and scroll through my twitter reading the comments.

I find my self spiraling. The world spinning once again due to the mean comments and threats. I didn’t know why was doing this to myself, why was I reading such hateful things? I need a breather. Some fresh air. Without thinking, I drop my phone on my bed and grab my shoes.

I walk to the hotels stair case and start walking up the stairs.

When I get to the rooftop I sit down and take in the view. It was peaceful and quiet. No one was up there which made it even better.

I wipe my tears that I hadn’t noticed had fallen and start to calm down. Just enjoying the view. Enjoying being alone and taking a short break from people. From the commotion.

It felt like 30 minutes and when I come back down and walk into our corridor I see the guards standing outside us Chan is pacing up and down outside my door.

What were they doing? I question and make my way to them so I could get to my door.

"What's going on?" I ask furrowing my eyebrows.

"Y/n? Oh my God thank God." He sighs in relief. I swear I saw him tear a little too.

"What happened?" I asked everyone.

“It’s okay I found her, thank you though. I don’t know where she was but I’m about to find out. Yeah okay bye.” Chan hands up the phone and looks up at me, "Where did you go Y/n? I told you not to go anywhere without the boys!" He exclaims.

"Chan I just went upstairs to the rooftop. Is that wrong?" I ask him confused than before.

"You were just on the rooftop?" He asks unsure to believe what I’m saying.

"Yes I was. You can check the cameras if you don't believe me." I shrug and pull out my room keys.

"Then why weren't you picking up your phone? You scared me! I thought you runaway!" Hyunjin steps In.

"I left it inside because of all the hateful notifications I was getting," I sigh and look up at the boys.

"Hate notifications?" I.N asks confused.

"Yeah the hate is getting really bad, so I decided to go for a breather. No big deal. I didn't know I wasn't allowed to go anywhere in the hotel premises-"

"No no your allowed, I- I just started freaking out thinking you had run away or something. Go on into your room we'll be there in a bit." I shrug and watch him turn the guards who looked like they had seen a ghost.

Knowing the boys well, they probably had threatened them and cursed every living thing in their life time which I found kind of funny because of how Overprotective they were.

I enter my room and start dressing up for bed and removing my makeup.

When the door opens and closes and a few of the boys walk in. (Felix, Han and Chan) I look up at them confused.

"Would you maybe like to go bawling?" Han says softly.

"But isn't it late and I'm grounded-"

"We'll your grounded starting when we get to Korea. Right now we're in New York. Let's have some fun. My treat." Chan smiles and sits on my bed.

I knew they felt bad and I knew they didn't want me to be alone in the room to fight my thoughts.

"Come on it's a good distraction and we can grab some street food!" Felix chimes and rubs my shoulders.

"Okay fine I'll get dressed." I sigh tired.

"Unless you wanna stay in and watch a movie?" Han says looking at me worried.

"No no no, we can go I'm just a little tired."

"Oh then we're definitely staying in and watching a movie." Chan stands up from my bed and grabs his phone.

"We'll order in a lot of food and then go to sleeep yeah? I'll text the boys."

"Okay that's sounds relaxing."

"Yes it does AND we can finish of that game we couldn't last time."

"Yeah we can."

*

The food was really good and after so many questions about whether I wanted to throw up or not had passed, we were able to all lay in Chan's bed piling on top of eachother.

"I love you Y/nie" I.N says out of the blue and starts to poke my side.

"I love you more than he loves you," Felix jumps in.

"No I do!" Hyunjin says.

"Okay okay I get the point! I love you guys too. I geuss." I tease and they all chuckle.

"We hope your no longer sad about us scolding you, we really do mean well love,"

"I know I know, it's okay I deserved it. I'm sorry for being a handful."

"You're not a handful really, just a growing baby."

"Guys I'm 18, oh my God stop calling me a baby!!" I bury my face into the blankets and they all start laughing.

My little family.

**

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 15, Undermined - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, allusions to sexual situations, damning texts

Word Count: 2.5k

Previously On...: Bucky attempted to explain himself in an effort to regain your trust. You offered him an ultimatum: He cut off all contact with Jade Carthage and let you go through his messages with her on his phone.

A/N: Bucky decides to lay it all out on the line, showing Pocket all his texts with Jade.

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43 @wolfgirl21

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

There were hundreds of texts. Possibly thousands. You honestly had no idea he had been communicating with her this way so consistently. The first thing you did was check his deleted texts, but the folder was empty– though you doubted Bucky even knew how to delete texts, you couldn’t be positive he hadn’t picked it up somewhere. You made a mental note to yourself to hack into his phone’s data from your laptop later and check his phone records, and then hated yourself for having to resort to something so controlling. God, who was he turning you into?

The texts started innocently enough– questions about training schedules, protocols, general life in the Tower. All perfectly reasonable inquiries one would make to their new superior officer. But then came the requests– fixing her lights in her room, would he eat breakfast with her because she was so lonely? They began texting each other good morning and good night… every day.

She started calling him “sexy” and “handsome” as a way of greeting him. He never encouraged it, or reciprocated, but he never shut it down or told her it was inappropriate, either. 

Then, there was the evening after the Central Park fiasco.

Vix: It was really mean of you to make me walk all the way back to the Tower by myself, you know.

>> I know. I’m sorry. I just needed to talk to Pocket alone.

Vix: I could have been assaulted or kidnapped!

>> lol You’re a super soldier. You could wipe the floor with anyone who tried.

Vix: Aww, thanks Jamie <3

Vix: Did your girlfriend get over her temper tantrum?

>> She had a right to be upset. It was shit of me to forget about her like that.

Vix: What is she? A golden retriever?

>> lol

Vix: She was alone for, like, five minutes. She’ll survive. 

Vix: If you ask me, she was just looking for an excuse to be mad at you.

Vix: She obviously doesn’t trust you, which is so hypocritical.

>> What do you mean?

Vix: Come on, Jamie. You don’t really buy her whole bullshit story about her ‘friendship’ with Stark, do you?

Vix: I don’t care how rich he is. *No one* shells out that kind of money for someone’s education without expecting something in return. She obviously fucked him. 

>> She told me it wasn’t like that.

Vix: Don’t tell me you believe her! I know you’re not stupid.

>> Yeah, well of course I wondered.

“What the fuck, Bucky?” you asked, your voice rising as you stood up to face him. “Uh, which part?” he asked sheepishly.

“There’s more than one part that would have me asking ‘what the fuck’?” you asked, disgusted. Bucky just kind of shrugged his shoulders. “You seriously think I slept with Tony?!” “Oh, that!” Bucky looked relieved, and that concerned you, because if he was relieved that that was what you were upset about, what the hell else was in those texts? “I wondered about it when you first told me he paid for your school,” he said. “Back before we were really friends. But you said that you didn’t, and I believe you. I’ve always believed you.”

“Well, your text to Carthage sure makes it sound like you don’t believe me,” you argued. “Like you’re still wondering.”

“That wasn’t my intention,” he said softly.

“Yeah, well, and I say this with all the lack of respect it deserves,” you snapped, “your intentions are shit.”

Bucky looked down at the floor, no longer meeting your gaze. “Fuck,” you said, “I don’t even know if I want to read the rest of these,” you told him. “If that was something ‘well intentioned’ but there’s still things you expect me to get upset about.”

“No,” said Bucky, looking back at you now, “please– I want you to read them. I don’t want to have any more secrets from you.”

You sighed and sat back down. “I’m not even going to touch on you laughing about her calling me a literal dog,” you said as you picked up the phone and started reading again.

There were several selfies from Jade to Bucky of her in various skimpy outfits, asking for his opinion. Completely inappropriate, in your opinion, but Bucky would just respond with the thumbs up emoji, or occasionally “nice,” or “pretty.” 

What really got to you, though, were the late night texts. You noticed some of the timestamps on Bucky’s end were from hours after you would have fallen asleep. The idea of him texting her in the middle of the night, in the dark, while lying next to your sleeping body repulsed you, and you had to suppress a shudder.

What was worse was the context of them– it wasn’t anything salacious or sexual, no– it was his vulnerability. His personal thoughts and feelings, memories of his past and descriptions of his nightmares that he refused to share with you, telling you they were too dark, or that he couldn’t remember them. Even now, you skimmed over what he had written without really reading them, knowing that he hadn’t wanted you to be privy to those parts of him. It broke your heart to see him being so open with her, so lacking in defenses, when you had literally been right there, yet he’d kept you at arm’s length, all without you knowing it.

Vix: What did you tell her about the sparring match?

>> The truth. It was just an intense practice session.

Vix: So you didn’t mention your hard-on, then? >> That was just a physical reaction. The adrenaline from the fight. It had nothing to do with you.

Vix: lol Keep telling yourself that, Jamie.

>> Vix. Vix: Relax, I’m just teasing xoxo

>> Yeah, I know.

Your hands were shaking. “I fucking knew it,” you seethed. 

“Knew what?” Bucky looked like a deer trapped in headlights. 

“That fucking sparring match,” you said through clenched teeth, your eyes beginning to water. “I fucking knew there was something sexual going on between you two, and you lied to my god damned face! And then, what? You fucked me with the erection she gave you? God, I knew you looked guilty. I could see it in your fucking eyes!”

“Okay, yes, but no!” Bucky said. “Yeah, I felt guilty because I got hard during the fight, and I was worried you saw it, but it really didn’t have anything to do with her! It’s… it’s a thing that happens to me, sometimes. Doesn’t matter who I’m fighting with. It’s, uh, happened when I’ve sparred with Steve– ” You shot him a look, skeptical. “I swear; you can ask him!” he continued. “It… look, I’m pretty sure it’s a hold out from the… things… Hydra did to me. When they were turning me into the Winter Soldier. The details are hazy, the memories aren’t all there, but… I have… flashes… how they used to, uh, stimulate me, to get me to do what they wanted me to do.”

You looked at him, waiting for more details, but he didn’t offer them. He obviously still didn’t trust you with those parts of himself, even now. “But, I swear to you– as soon as I saw that look on your face, it was gone. I felt awful, knowing what you would think if you’d noticed. That killed it, instantly. When we were together, later, that was all because of you. It was all for you.” He took in your expression. “You don’t believe me.”

“Seems to be a pretty convenient excuse, don’t you think?” you asked. You felt like a bitch, on the off chance he was telling you the truth, if his erection had been based on the conditioning of decades of sexual abuse on top of the physical and psychological trauma he had endured, but he’d eroded your trust so thoroughly, you couldn’t help but doubt.

“You think I’d lie to you about something Hydra did to me?” he asked you, hurt. “Something like that?” You could hear the unanswered question in his voice: Something horrible we’ve both been through?

You shrugged, knowing you were being cruel. “How should I know? I’m not the one you’ve been sharing your secrets with, so I don’t know what’s the truth and what’s another lie.”

Bucky grimaced, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You, of all people, knew how shameful discussing sexual abuse could make one feel, but you’d always been honest and open with him about what had happened to you, because you had trusted him. It was hurtful to know he’d been through something similar and hadn’t afforded you the same trust in return, even though you knew you had no right to demand it of him. But he had given it so freely to her.

You went back to the texts, hoping you had read the worst, but dreading there was still more to come.

He told her about your fights. That was difficult to read, knowing that he had made her privy to the lowest points in your private relationship, and how she must have been eating it up. >> I just don’t know what more she wants from me. 

>> What more she expects me to do.

>> One minute she’s furious with me, and the next minute, she’s saying she doesn’t care.

Vix: She’s messing with you. Fucking with your emotions to show she can control you.

Vix: Why do you keep putting up with this?

>> I don’t know. Sometimes I

Vix: ???

>> Nevermind.

Vix: What, Jamie? You can tell me anything. I’m here for you.

>> Sometimes I just wish she was maybe a little more like you. More understanding.

You stared down at the screen, unable to move.

“Pocket?” Bucky asked, noticing you hadn’t scrolled in a few minutes.

“You don’t know why you keep putting up with me?” you asked him, voice barely above a whisper. “You wish I was more like her?” 

“I was upset,” he said, crouching down in front of you. “That was the night before she went to Malaysia, after I left our room, but before I got her to go to Gino’s. When I could tell you were pulling away, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t really mean it; it was just venting because you had me so confused.”

You stared off into the middle distance as Bucky tried to make eye contact with you, unable to look at him. “I feel like there’s this whole entire side of you you’ve been hiding from me,” you said, speaking to and through him simultaneously. “I don’t know this version of you, at all. And I don’t think I want to.”

“Doll,” Bucky grasped your hands, desperation entering his voice, but you didn’t have the energy to pull away. “Those texts aren’t me. You know me. You know my heart.”

You met his eyes then, the look you gave him full of loss, betrayal, and heartache. “I don’t think I do.”

Bucky’s face cracked; you’d never seen him look so defeated. He took the phone from you and scrolled to the very bottom of the text thread, to the most recent exchange the two had had, from the night of her ‘panic attack.’ Wordlessly, he handed the phone back to you.

Vix: Please, Jamie. I could treat you so much better than she can.

>> I told you, Vix. I’m not going to leave her. I love her.

Vix: But all you do is fight. I can hear you from my room, you know. I know you’re not happy.

>> We fight because of *you*. Please don’t make this difficult. I don’t want to ask Steve to reassign you for training.

Vix: Please don’t do that! I just want to be with you. I could make you so happy.

>> *She* makes me happy. She’s all I want. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings, but it’s how I feel. I’m never gonna love anyone the way I love Pocket. That’s just the way it is.

Vix: You can’t deny there’s something between us!

Vix: I know you feel it!

Vix: We could keep it a secret. She doesn’t need to know.

Vix: You could have both of us.

>> Stop. I don’t want you. And to be honest, I’m disgusted you’d even suggest I cheat on the love of my life.

Vix: You don’t mean that!

>> I do. You need to accept it.

His last message was followed by a barrage of texts from Jade, begging him to respond to her, but he hadn’t. You supposed, in a way, that should make you feel better, but you were so emotionally exhausted, you couldn’t feel much of anything. All you knew was that you should have never read those messages.

“This… this is a lot to process,” you finally said, looking at Bucky. “I don’t really know what to do here.”

Bucky frantically tapped at his phone screen. “Block her number,” he said. “If cuttin’ her out’s what it’s going to take for me to start rebuilding your trust, then I’ll gladly do it. Pozhaluysta, Pocket.” Please, Pocket.

Mechanically, you went through the motions of blocking Jade’s number from Bucky’s phone. “I… don’t know if this is going to be enough, Bucky,” you told him, handing it back. “Those things I read just now… They’re honestly making me question everything. Our entire history.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said, putting his forehead to yours. “If this is just step one, then it’s step one. I’ll take however many steps you ask me to until I make this right.”

“You’ve gotta be one hundred percent on this, Buck,” you said. “Because if you’re not, if I find out that you couldn’t keep this promise to me, there’s no coming back. You’ll be the one who’s so iced out, it’ll make Siberia feel downright tropical.”

Bucky grinned slightly. “I’m positive, sweets,” he said, putting a hand on top of yours. “You’re all I want, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if I have to.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him. It was just that, well, you didn’t fucking trust him. “FRIDAY?” you called.

“Yes, Ms. (Y/L/N)?”

“Please alert me any and every time Sergeant Barnes and Ms. Carthage have an interaction in the Tower going forward. I request audio and video footage be sent to me immediately should they cross paths.”

“Yes, Ms. (Y/L/N). For clarification, do you want alerts for physical, audio, or digital interactions to be sent to you?”

“All of it, FRIDAY,” you said, watching Bucky very carefully for any sign of discomfort or uneasiness over your course of action, but you saw none. “And do not allow an override without my express verbal consent and company password.”

The AI agreed and promised to alert you if any such interaction occurred.

“That was very thorough,” Bucky said, sounding somewhat petulant. “You really had to cover all the bases, didn’t you?”

“Well, I had to have someone I trust keeping an eye out on things,” you said pointedly. Bucky flinched, the expression on his face faltering.

“I am going to make this right, doll. I swear to you.”

“I’m tired of you telling me, Buck,” you said, really needing to drive your point home. “It's your last chance to actually grow up and start showing me.” 

<- Previous Chapter / Next Part ->

[dollfacedsl1ut]

Chanel purse

➼ compendium : you bought another purse without permission

➼ dynamic : !sugar mommy zyu x !fem reader

➼ warnings : guided masturbation, vibrator, squirting, onsided masturbation, phone sex, mommy jihyo obv, reader has a degradation kink, dirty talk (just jihyo), passive aggressiveness from zyu, reader is horny hearing zyu scold her :((

requested?? : nope (request are open tho)

➼ word count : 637

a/n: I’ve been obsessed with zyu recently LIKE OFMFKDKDJ (⸝⸝⸝O﹏ O⸝⸝⸝) not proofread Oopsie

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You shut your laptop after buying yet another Chanel purse with jihyos credit card, shes been on her work trip for the past 2 weeks her absence drove you mad as you started to buy any online purchase that sparked your interest including a 1.5k pink purse with a pearl handle

Your phone rang with a incoming call from jihyo, answering her raspy voice started to speak fast over the phone “y/n another purse what the fuck are you doing” you put her on speaker phone picking up your cup of tea “I got bored my bad” rolling your eyes jihyo could sense that you didn’t care about the purchase “y/n I’m so serious” her voice deepened causing you to squeeze your thighs together “m’sorry I just missed you so much I needed to occupy myself” she sighed into the mic before lecturing you, her voice just turned you on forgetting about why she even called you, the uncomfortable feeling of your panties sticking to your clit made you rock your hips against the bed the friction caused soft whimpers to escape your lips.

Thinking about using your vibrator you were a bit scared jihyo would hear the buzzing sound your eyes scanned over the bed as your eyes landed on the white hitachi wand turning it on low and sliding your panties aside the wand touched your clit as your breath hitched, rocking your hips steadily with the wand you picked up your phone before placing it on your chest you can tell jihyo was finishing her rant before a particularly loud moan escaped your lips which caused jihyo to stop talking…

“Y/n…” you could hear the dussaponntmebt in her voice “I’m sorry i couldn’t help myself-“ your whiny voice made her show a little mercy on you “are you using the hitachi wand I got you” looking down at the at the wand placed between your folds “yes I’m sorry- I just like the way your voice changes when you’re upset” your voice shook as you felt your release nearing “so you like my voice sweetheart?” The tone of her voice causes your brain to fog “it’s such a shame in not there to fuck my pretty girl silly” jihyo heard your high pitched moaning knowing you were near your release you rocked your hips faster against the wand the vibration still on low the faint buzzing sound was the only thing you heard besides your moans and jihyo helping you cum “I’m so close” your voice barely above a whisper, she heard your pleads to let you cum “turn it up higher” pressing the button the vibrations sped up you stopped rocking your hips as your legs shook and repulsed “please I need to cum please” pleads barely audible, you heard jihyo chuckle at your pleads

“why should I let you cum you spent money on a new purse without asking then proceeded to fuck yourself as I lectured you” your heart sank as you kept the vibrator to your clit trying to delay your release, thinking of a good comeback you decided to keep it to yourself really needing to cum “you know I don’t reward for bad behavior y/n” she sighed again in the mic making it harder for you to hold back “since I’ve missed your pretty voice… I’ll let you cum sweetheart” you whimpered loudly as you let go squirting all over the bed your thighs quivered as you kept the vibrator against your clit, your juices spewing out occasionally “now cut the vibrator off” removing the vibrator before powering the wand off you sat up examining the mess “I want the sheets changed by the time I get back you have 2 hours get it done” seeing the condition of the room you knew you had to get started right away

© psychoz4nymph.tumblr please do not copy, steal or translate my work without permission

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ ˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

[Brodie flicked through the mail, instantly recognising the scrawling handwriting of a certain redheaded little boy. Scaring a few birds in the process, he bellowed up the stairs: ALEEEEX!] Alex: [breathless] Is it for me?! Brodie: Nah, but I could do with some help carrying this super heavy envelope upstairs. Alex: Who do you think you are, Johnny Zest? Brodie: I’m better than that guy, c’mon…

… Hi Alex! Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to you, I promise I didn’t forget! I guess I just didn’t really know what to say cos I’ve sorta not felt like myself recently. My mom says I disappear into my own world sometimes so I sorta did that again and found it hard to think of anything fun to say. I don’t think I’d mind if you wrote to me about the less fun parts of your life though n’ my dad says you shouldn’t really keep everything to yourself all the time cos it ends up hurting so I thought I’d write anyway n’ just force myself not to worry about being boring or whatever. Your letters and your life always sound so exciting compared to mine though so sometimes it’s hard not to!!

I got in a fight at school which sounds like it should be an exciting story, but it wasn’t really. There’s this kid called Levi in my class that always picks on me (don’t worry though, I don’t care about that) and I couldn’t be bothered listening to him anymore so I hit him a couple times, I thought he’d hit me back but he just freaked out so I sorta felt bad about it afterward. He still makes fun of me but he doesn’t get up in my face as much so that’s a plus. Who says violence doesn’t solve anything? Hahaha I’m kidding! It wasn’t nice of me but maybe he should know better than to push people around so much.

I’m looking forward to summer so I can wander off a bit more and maybe it won’t rain so much! My mom doesn’t really like it when I go too far but as long as I’m back before curfew she tries not to freak out about it which is nice of her cos she knows I like to explore n’ stuff. I shouldn’t complain about my family cos I love them n’ stuff but I like being on my own sometimes and it’d be nice to have a bit of peace now n’ then. I’ve got SUPER good hearing so it’s hard to find anywhere quiet in my house, especially cos there’s always something crazy going on. My aunt Alma is sorta similar to me so she’s been helping me block out the noise with this meditation sorta thing, I guess it’s hard to explain but it’s not as lame as it sounds, it’s kinda fun to see how long you can stay in your own brain without people interrupting you. That probably sounds really weird but maybe you sorta get what I mean?

I finally have a treehouse now too!! It reminds me of your watchtower in some ways, but I guess it’s no way cooler than that, even though I know you’re bored of it by now. I wish we could hang out in it together cos it’s super awesome! Mom n’ dad don’t really bother me when I’m up there n’ my brother n’ sisters can’t manage the ladder yet so it’s all mine! It’s right at the bottom of the garden and looks out over the whole Bay too! Mom said she might let me sleep in it once it gets a bit warmer! It’d be cool falling asleep to the sound of the waves.. I hope it doesn’t end up making me need to pee all night though haha!!

Wren’s been obsessed with watching me play on the computer recently and I keep tryna teach her how to play herself but her little fingers can’t really reach all the buttons on the keyboard too well and she gets stupid mad when she dies so she just makes me play instead. She’d kick me if I told anyone but she’s a bit scared of some of the monsters too lol!! Mom told me I shouldn’t let her watch those ones but they’re the only ones she WANTS to watch and she jumps all over me until I give in so idk what they expect me to do other than lock her in the pantry, but I got told off for that so I guess I shouldn’t do that again haha (Wren thought it was funny though so it’s all good!) It’s a shame you don’t have a computer in the tower otherwise we could play together! Jude n’ Jacob aren’t really into that sorta thing so I usually just play on my own. Do you have a computer back home??

Oh! I got another badge for my swimming lessons too! I’ve almost got em all now which is neat but I sorta wanna avoid getting the last ones cos anyone that gets them all or has good attendance n’ whatever get an award at the end of the school year. They save em all up to give out at some stupid last year disco thing they put on before summer for the last year kids n’ it’d be so cringe to get called out in front of everyone like that. Some people think it’s gonna be amazing like my friend Jude, but I’d rather not go at all. Mom n’ dad keep saying it’ll be fun n’ everyone else is excited about it too but how fun could something be if you’re technically at SCHOOL? Bleh! I know you said you hate it sometimes, but being homeschooled sounds awesome to me lol.

I keep tryna bug my parents to go camping again so we could maybe see each other but they won’t take me out of school for a holiday n’ dad’s too busy with some work project so I guess we’ll have to keep writing to each other instead! Maybe if I keep annoying them about it we can come back in the summer! I hope so anyway but I guess I don’t wanna piss em off TOO much just in case my plan backfires or something.

I still feel really bad about not writing sooner but my dad said better late than never so hopefully you’re not too upset with me! I’ll try my best to write faster next time so you don’t have to wait as long. I’m looking forward to hearing about everything you’ve been up to!! Love Robin c: ps. my dad’s friend finally helped me fix that old polaroid so I’ve sent you some random pictures I took to test it out! I’m still getting used to it but the next ones will be better, I swear!

… the treehouse! it even has cool lights on it!! the back of our house! it’s so big it’s hard to fit in a picture.. it sorta looks fancy but it’s not really n’ dad said it was cheap cos it was a shithole a rare Byrd! (grumpy too – dad tried to take his dummy off him lol) he’s not supposed to be on my bed… the Bay! Jude says I sound girly for saying it’s so pretty here but I don’t care I could take a million pictures of this place n’ never get bored (I’ll stop now though cos mom says these polaroid things aren’t cheap for this model.. oops lol!!)

[greatooglymooglyyy]

Say Goodbye Part IV (Chris Sturniolo)

part 1, part 2, part 3 , full masterlist

contains: friendship issues, pining, hurt feelings, 1.1k words

a/n: sjsjdjdn FINALLY HUH? okay so i hope y'all aren't too mad at me for the wait. cus i love y'all. but this series has 2 more parts and then i'ma wrap it up.

“What do you want?”

“Roll down the window!” I say back, adopting his same stern tone. Matt huffs out a sigh of frustration but does what I asked.

“I really don’t wanna hear your excuses right now, bro.” He grinds out, his eyes drifting over my shoulder like he can’t be bothered to look at me.

“Good, because I wasn’t going to give you any.” I reach in and grab his phone from where it’s resting on his leg and pause the music before dropping it back down. “There’s no excuse for how I treated you. You’re not an extension of Chris. I should have had a conversation with you. I owed you that.”

“Fucking right, you did-”

I cut in before he can get too self-righteous, needing to make my point. “But tell me the truth. How many of those times you called me were for Chris’ benefit? Tell me you wouldn’t have tried to convince me to take him back.”

The hard lines of his face begin to crack a bit as guilt settles in. “He’s my brother.”

“Exactly!” I say, reaching out and touching his shoulder. “But I was already on unsteady ground. Reminders of how much Chris was hurting would have crumbled me.”

Matt closes his eyes and, after a second, nods like he understands. “When you guys started dating, we said no matter what there would always be a me and you.” He says, his voice is small and unsure.

“I know. This time let’s mean it.” I suggest with a small smile, extending my hand.

He looks down at it and grins before bringing his own hand up and doing the secret handshake we made at seven.

“Me and you, kid.”

*********************************************************

Somehow I knew when I stumbled into the kitchen to find the three of them there, I would find myself on a road trip.

As soon as we had gotten back inside, Chris suggested that we head up to Maine for the boardwalk.

Surprising no one, Chris had refused his regular seat in the front to join me in the third row after we picked up Nate and Leah. It had been easy to forget the last year for those couple of hours. It was easy to forget all my problems with my legs thrown over his lap and him giving me a carefree smile.

But when we finally park and scramble out, Leah gives me a look like her eyes are about to pop out of her head and it all comes crashing down. I’m supposed to be holding this boy at arm’s length. I decide to stick close to her for the rest of the day, pulling her towards the beach when the boys want to go explore the games.

We pick a good spot to lounge and set up our towels but just when I think Leah and I can hide away for the day, Matt and Chris jog over.

“Do you want to go paddle boating?” Matt asks Leah, knowing good and well how scared I am of going too far into the ocean. Leah on the other hand loves it and hesitates, looking over at me. I sigh and nod her off, not missing the subtle blush that spills over her face when Matt helps her up.

“So I guess it’s just me and you huh?” Chris says with faux innocence. I roll my eyes but can’t help but smile at the way he flops down beside me.

“It looks that way. Where are Nick and Nate?” I ask, sitting up to look around for them.

“They made some kind of dumb bet about who can win the most tickets in the arcade.”

I smile and nod. It sounds about right. “I’m surprised you’re not right there with them.”

He grins and I can tell I set him up to say something beyond corny. “I got my eyes on a different prize.”

I groan and cover my face in embarrassment while he bursts into laughter. “Get the fuck out of here,” I mumble.

“Come on.” He says, sitting up. “Let’s ride the Ferris wheel.”

*********************************************************

“I don’t like that this bitch swings,” I grumble, holding on tight to Chris’ arm as the Ferris wheel begins turning.

He pulls his arm away from me and slings it over my shoulder instead. “Yeah, it’s not my favorite thing. But I like the view.”

I force myself to open my eyes and see that he’s absolutely right. From up here the water is so blue and pretty, stretching out and giving the illusion it goes on forever.

Excitedly, I turn back to Chris and find him watching me with a contented smile. The look in his eyes makes me so weak in the knees that I’m glad we’re sitting down.

I’m torn out of the moment by cheering and clapping and we look over the bar to see an adorable couple who just got engaged. I grin and join the celebration, whistling.

Chris turns back to me and nods at them. “This how you want yours to go down?”

“Oh fuck no,” I answer quickly. “Public proposals terrify me. I will literally kill you-” As soon as I say it, I realize my slip and snap my mouth shut but it’s too late.

“Me, huh?” He’s cheesing but not as cocky as I expected. He pulls me into his side and I lay my head on his shoulder with a sigh.

We stay that way for the rest of the ride, feeling the gentle breeze on our faces and becoming unable to stop scooting closer.

When it’s over, we decide to head toward the gift shops. On our way over to the pier, Chris reaches down to hold my hand but I pull away, shooting him a stare.

“What? I can’t hold your hand?” He asks, a little irritated.

“It’s not very friendly,” I answer, stressing the word.

“Cool.” He reaches down and takes my hand anyway. “I already told you, I’m not your friend.”

I let it go as we enter the shop and begin to look around. We go our separate ways as I try on sunglasses and he searches for some new shirts.

But when I turn around to ask his opinion, he’s surrounded by a group of girls a bit younger than us. He’s smiling as he takes selfies one by one, clearly used to this.

One of the girls notices me staring over and nudges her friend. “Isn’t that the girl we saw you with? Is that your girlfriend?”

He barely looks up and laughs. “Nah. Childhood friend.” The girls turn away giggling, one placing a hand on his arm casually.

I do what I do best and push down any hint of hurt on my face, putting the sunglasses down and walking out of the shop. I can't believe I keep letting myself forget the reason I walked away in the first place.

I'm half way down the pier when Chris catches up to me, breathing hard. "Why'd you leave?" I give him a look of disbelief, studying his face. He really doesn't see the issue and that's our biggest problem.

"No reason, Chris."

"Are you really mad that I took a couple of pictures with fans?" He says, reaching out and grabbing my arm to stop me from walking. I look down at his hand with my eyebrows raised and he removes it. "It's my job."

I give him as bright a smile as I can manage. "Who said I was mad, Chris?" I turn and continue walking to the beach, spotting the rest of our group chilling near the water.

For the rest of the day, Chris tries to get my attention and bring back the mood but I dodge him, sticking close to Leah. When it's time to go, I ask Nate if I can take the passenger's seat and catch up with Matt.

Through the rearview mirror, I catch a look of hurt flash over Chris' face but I refuse to let it affect me. I made a promise to myself on that pier and I'm going to keep it. I'm done letting Christopher Sturniolo disappoint me.

🏷️/ @sturniolho @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @mrsmiagreer @asturniolos

@teapartyprincess4two @whicked-hazlatwhore @sukiipjs @accio326 @sturniolosmind @imfromthediningtable @rootbeerworshiper @st4rswrld

[hausofneptune]

aspects/placements i love (and hate!) in my chart pt. 1

[astro notes no. 003]

hey y’all! i felt like going through some of my personal aspects/placements and describing the “positive” and “negative” ways they’ve manifested in my life, so here we are. this ended up being longer than i thought it would, so i'll end up doing a part two since i really enjoyed making this!

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venus conj. neptune in aquarius (1°03’) in the 1H

this is one of my favorite placements. i feel like this + my pisces sun can make me appear to others as “ethereal” at times, but if i’m keeping it a buck, it also makes me extremely evasive. i have a good amount of aquarius influence in my chart as well, so all of this combined definitely makes me feel like i have to put in effort to not come off as too impersonal, especially towards my loved ones. 

having neptune in my 1H also makes me feel like people perceive me to be someone that i’m not. like even my close friends and family, i don’t feel like anyone actually understands who i am, and i don’t think i’ve ever had a relationship (platonic, romantic, or familial) where i felt like i was seen for who i actually am, or where i was able to connect to somebody on a deeper, spiritual level. i can also over-romanticize people and situations at times, but i’ve grown out of this habit… for the most part.

i’ve always been an extremely creative/artistic person. i’ve been drawing, painting, writing, and singing since i was a kid, and i even sell my artwork now as an adult. i’m extremely imaginative, but i do have to be careful to not get too in my head and forget to participate in reality, if that makes sense. i’ve also had issues with dissociation and memory loss throughout my life. i feel like my lived experience has more to do with that, but i can see how the Neptunian influence in my chart could play a role in it as well.

venus opposite north node in the 7H (1°40’)

there are some placements that convince me that the universe was tryna be funny when it made my birth chart. this is one of them. i have so many things in my chart that can make it challenging at times to form meaningful, trustful relationships with other people, and it’s interesting to me the fact that my spiritual growth is something that’s supposed to be found… through my relationships with other people. i try not to victimize myself too much and look at things from an objective lens, but i would be lying if i said it didn’t feel like people find it convenient to have me in their lives only when i allow them to view me in a way that makes them feel the most comfortable.

like i mentioned, i can be very avoidant, it’s something i’m working on. but i know that it’s possible for me to have fulfilling connections with other people, and obviously with this placement it’s something i need to work through my aversion to, seeing as my self-development and spiritual growth is something that’s extremely important to me and deep down i do want to want to experience having meaningful, healthy relationships. 

sun sextile lilith (within 3.0°) in the 11H / chiron in the 11H

let me tell you, most of the people i’ve been friends with over the years, regardless of gender, hypersexualize the fuck out of me. especially the men i’ve been friends with, majority of them had feelings for me that i never reciprocated. i was actually friends with a girl in high school who’s moon fell in my 8H, and in hindsight she had a very unhinged, borderline obsession with me. she would speak to me, and get mad at me, as if we were in a relationship together, and did not understand any type of boundaries that you’re supposed to have with someone you’re friends with. i don’t hold it against her now as an adult, but we definitely don’t speak to each other anymore.

i’ve also encountered issues in regards to the relationships i've with women, mainly when i was younger though, the women i’m acquainted with now i have healthy, normal friendships with (thank god). but i’ve had friendships with girls where they secretly didn’t like me, they were secretly attracted to me, or both. and i don't mean this in a weird, misogynistic, "pick me i'm different!" type of way at all, this is just a pattern i picked up on with some of the women i've met throughout my life.

in regards to having chiron in my 11H, my sore spot is most definitely my friendships. on top of feeling misunderstood and objectified in the friendships i’ve had, i’ve also experienced trauma at the hands of people i thought were my friends. and i always do my best to exercise being mindful and self-aware, and i’m definitely not on some “i’ve always been the perfect friend and people hurt me regardless, boo-hoo, woe-is-me” type shit, because i’ve definitely hurt people in my lifetime. but in terms of how these placements have manifested, i’ve always encountered difficulty in connecting to others, and i’m just now getting to a point where i feel comfortable enough to even attempt to try making new friends again. 

and this is what i mean when i say: astrology is a tool that you can use for shit that is more important than your appearance and future partner! it wasn’t until my 12H profection year when i started studying traditional astrology and learned how to read charts, that i actually began to understand myself on a deeper level and gained the confidence to end friendships that no longer served me and made new ones that actually do. 

chiron in my 11H also makes me feel inclined to take on a “therapist” role in my friendships, something that can be good or bad depending on whether the boundaries are there or not. i tend to attract people who like to trauma dump on me (that’s my moon in the 8H influence too), and i have to actively put boundaries in place and make sure people around me understand that i have to be in the right mindset to hold space for them. there aren’t a lot of pisces sun stereotypes that i can relate to, but being an emotional sponge is definitely one that i can. unfortunately. 

moon and ceres in virgo in the 8H 

LMAOOO this one might be a little heavy. i apologize in advance. feel free to skip this one if you don’t want to hear about parental/maternal loss or my mommy issues <3

my relationship with my mom is without a doubt where a lot of my emotional avoidance comes from. that plus my moon being in the 8H makes me very guarded when it comes to emotional vulnerability, even with the people i’m closest to. without telling a bunch of strangers on the internet too much of my business, here are the sparknotes:

my home life growing up (and to this day lowkey) never felt stable

it never felt like i could feel my emotions without them “consuming” me, this was mainly an issue in my youth, i was around 12-years-old when i started going to therapy and taking antidepressants  

my mom battled a chronic disease her entire life and passed away when i was a teenager 

i’ve always craved to have deep, spiritual connections with people, and ever since i was a kid i’ve been extremely intuitive and had the ability to read a room and everyone in it without anyone having to speak, but i typically attract people who are either emotionally unavailable, or emotionally unstable in some way, probably because i come off as “closed off” on the surface. 

in terms of my relationship with my mom, i love her but i could never be vulnerable with her about a damn thing, like i never really felt “heard” by her. she was a taurus sun, scorpio moon, with an aries stellium, as soon as she had her mind made up about something it didn’t really matter how i felt (pluto also falls in my 10H, and i definitely viewed her as an “authority figure” more than a mother at times). y’all remember this scene from lady bird where her mom tells her she wants her to “be the best version of herself she can be” and she asks “what if this is the best version?” - it was very much so that.

and i don’t want to give the impression that my mom didn’t love me because she definitely did. i think it was just a matter of what a lot of us eventually come to understand about our parents; that they’re products of the environments and the people they were raised by. and in my mom’s case, she did her best with the cards she was dealt and showed up the best way she could. it doesn’t make my feelings any less important, but it helps to maintain the balance between recognizing her humanity, and also validating my own frustration and trauma regarding our relationship. 

venus conjunct ascendant in aquarius (2°40’)

i didn't wanna end this post on a depressing ass note so i'm adding this last aspect lmfao. honestly i struggle with some of the venusian energy in my chart because i honestly never really felt "pretty" growing up. it might be neptune in my 1H that effects my self image, because it wasn't until my 20s that i actually started to genuinely recognize my beauty. i feel like growing up i only viewed my beauty through the lens of the "male gaze" (it didn't help that i felt objectified from the boys around me), or through the lens of euro-centric/white beauty standards, and in adulthood i'm finally approaching the way that i view myself from my perspective.

i do notice that i attract people very easily, both in a friendly and romantic way. i know this aspect has to do a lot with love and romance, but honestly, i'm not too concerned about being in a relationship at this point in my life (with the way the economy is set up i think we all got bigger fish to fry rn but that's neither here nor there-), but like i mentioned i've always been an artist at heart and the art that i create plays a really big role in my identity. i've always found it easier to express myself through my paintings or my writing rather than my words.

aesthetics and comfortability are pretty big for me too, more so now in my 20s. this aspect has a lot to do with sociability and being inclined to uplift and help others, and i can relate to the latter but when it comes to other aspects in my chart i do struggle with being "outgoing" and coming across friendly, but we'll get to that in part two.

as always, if y'all have any of the aspects/placements mentioned in this post let me know how they manifest in your life and personality, and if you have any insight or questions in general feel free to reach out!

[dearhargrove]

could I request a fic where reader is completely inexperienced. Like she has never even kissed a boy before. And also maybe she has had awful past experiences with s€x as well, whatever you feel most comfortable writing of course. And so she feels very shy around Billy (they already are in a relationship) and she admits that to him ? Or maybe he figures it out on his own. Whatever you prefer. And he is being super sweet and patient with her and letting her take baby steps.

Inexperienced

Billy Hargrove x fem!reader

summary You loved him and you were sure of it. He was sweet, romantic and respectful (if he wanted to). Yes, he came with trauma and emotional baggage, but he tried his best. So why was it so hard to forget your inexperience and kiss him?

word count 600

tags reader feeling nervous and being scared, Billy is sweet in this one !

a/n I’m sorry for taking so long! Life’s kinda crazy right now.. also just haven’t been feeling the best about myself and everything so I couldn’t find motivation 🫠 I didn’t wanna half ass this but I think I did anyway. I’m really sorry <3

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He had noticed. Of course he had - and you knew. It made you nervous, knowing that he knew. You were inexperienced. You’d never been in a relationship before him, you hadn’t even kissed anyone yet.

Which made it hard to be intimate with him in any way; even a kiss made you turn your head so it would land on your cheek instead.

It wasn’t because you didn’t want to, you were scared. What if you were bad at it? He had a lot of experience - what if you wouldn’t compare? There were so many doubts swarming in your head at the mere thought of kissing him.

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him because you did. It was yourself you didn’t trust. What if he ended up being disappointed by you?

Your nervousness mixed with your inexperience whenever you even just thought about doing something with him.

You anxiously pull at a loose thread on your knitted sweater, unraveling a few more threads in the process. Before you can continue pulling on your sweater a hand covers yours.

“Don’t do that, you’ll regret it later, babe,” Billy reminds in between a drag of his cigarette. You smile a little shakily and nod, “Yeah- yeah, you’re right.”

“What’re you thinking about anyway? You’re never this quiet,” he drawls and flicks the cigarette out of the car window and onto the street. You eye him quickly and shrug, deciding not to tell him.

He turns his body to the side and looks at you fully, “What’s going on?” You bite your lip and weigh your options. Telling him would help you overcome your fears and maybe even kiss him - finally.

But he could also be weirded out at the kind of things you were so thoughtful about.

“Jus’ tell me, pretty. Not gon’ be mad or anything,” he rasps and you look at him, directly into his eyes. “Uhm…” you start and look back out the window instead before continuing, “I want to kiss you.”

He makes a surprised noise in the back of his throat but lets you finish what you wanted to say.

“But like, I have no idea how to..? And I don’t wanna disappoint you cuz you got all this experience and I don’t-“

You’re interrupted when his hand gently clasps your chin and pulls you close to his face. He presses a kiss to your chin and shushes you, “I couldn’t care less. Worst case, I’ll teach you.”

He mumbles against your cheek all while holding eye contact. Your skin rises in goosebumps and you blink slowly before managing a small nod. He takes it and leans in, pressing his lips to yours.

It’s unlike you would’ve expected and in some way it’s just a kiss but in another way it’s so much more. It means the world to you how patient he was readily being and the emotions this carries.

When he pulls back he has a smirk on his face, “You practiced with sum?” He teases and you slap his shoulder with a laugh.

[rayassecretlife]

It was always you

Pairing: Aged up!19 year old Neteyam Sully x Fem!Omaticaya!Reader

PLEASE READ PART 1 AND PART 2 FIRST.

Summary: after the blow up at your party, you run away from the clan in thoughts nobody would know where you had gone—but of course, there was always him.

Warning(s): smuttt (MINORS DNI), slow burn kinda, Neteyam being a cry baby/manipulator, mentions of ab*se, death, self h*rm, slight breeding kink if you squint, praise kink

Not proof read!!!! Tumblr kept logging me out and I got mad so… but no word count, just know it’s long asf.

It was pathetic really. The crying mess you were in front of Eywa, you couldn’t believe this was how your birthday was going to end. That familiar urge to hurt yourself only burning your mind harder then ever.

“Oh Eywa, why have you turned your back on me? Take me, please just take me” Your knees buckle and you practically sink to the floor, head falling into your hands as your sobs began to break through your chest. You had so many emotions, so many regrets and wishes. You wanted it to stop, to be gone from the pain you felt.

“Y/N” The voice approached making you stand to your feet, pulling your knife to separate you and the boy before he could get any closer. “Y/N, what are you-“

“Go away, Neteyam. Please just…just go away!” You cry, moving closer to him with the blade towards his chest, but he wouldn’t move. He knew you wouldn’t hurt him, trying your hardest to yell at him without giving up. “I don’t want to hurt you”

“You won’t hurt me” He steps closer to you, his hand gently grabbing yours, removing the knife from your hand in fear you might hurt yourself. “It’s okay, it’ll all be okay” You push him away from you with a sob, voice hitching in your throat as you tired to talk.

“D-Don’t touch me! You need to leave, Neteyam” He shakes his head and you whine, bottom lip stuck between your lip as fear began to fill your body. You couldn’t let him get any closer, his scent was worse now, calling to you desperately and your body wanted to give in so badly. “Please, I can’t do this”

Neteyam felt everything you did, he knew why you were pushing him away but he didn’t care, he was so tired of waiting. “Why are you running from this? Do you not…like me?” Your eyes soften at his worried tone, shaking your head as you wiped your cheeks.

“I’m leaving, Nete” Your words made him stop, forehead creasing at your words. “I’m leaving the forest” His eyes burned with confusion but his heart felt like it had been torn in two, struggling to find the right words.

“What… I—you said—“ The boy looks down, a million thoughts filling his head as he thought back to the party, feeling his eyes water but he couldn’t show you that. He couldn’t cry, so he did the next best thing. “So you were going to kiss me at the party and then just leave? Just like that?”

Your eyes shut with a sigh, hearing the peeking anger in his voice. His eyes were swelling with tears before you, imagining a world without you in it was not something he wanted, his heart breaking at the thought.

“I tried to hold myself back, I really tried, Teyam—but you… I can’t stay away from you, and I can’t ignore the feeling I get when I’m around you” You cry, realizing you were practically admitting to him, watching his angry expression shield his sadness. “You should go”

You turn to leave but he doesn’t let you, gripping your shoulder to turn you back around forcefully. “Why? To make it easy for you? So you can just leave and leave me by myself? How could you ask me to forget you? To forget everything we’ve been though!”

“You don’t think this hurts me, too?! Having to leave you? Having to leave the clan? There’s no place for me here, Neteyam. I go home and get beat every fucking day! I can’t escape him, I need to leave to be safe!”

“I’ve spent years protecting you, Y/N! Constantly trying to convince you to stay with me, following you through the woods to make sure you were okay, having guards go scouting with you if i couldn’t, I did it all! I did it all because I fucking love you!”

“Netey-“

“Making birthday dinners with my mother, picking fights with any guy who even got close to you, spending my nights holding you while you slept through your nightmares, it was me! It was all me!”

Tears stream down your face as you watch him fall apart before you, clearly holding back tears as he yelled at you, a tone you were so unfamiliar with.

“I can’t… I can’t do this without you” Your ears flatten at his cracking voice, letting a tear slip down his cheek and you wiped your own with your palm. “I can’t just forget you, Y/N” He was now looking at you with the most pleading look you’d ever seen, trying to keep his composure as he stared at your clearly broken state. It hurt him, he just wanted to take all your pain away, even if it meant giving it to him.

“Neteyam…” your voice shook as he pulled you into his arms, firmly wrapping around your body in a tight hug. He couldn’t let you go, not without him going with you. You hesitated, slowly wrapping your arms around his neck, letting your tears fall against his shoulder. “I have to go, Nete”

“I’ll do anything, Y/N. Please, please don’t leave me” You cry at his voice, his fingertips digging into your skin, afraid you’d let him go. He was crying, still trying to pull you closer to him even though you’d been as close as you could possibly be. “Your what I look forward to when I wake up, what i yearn for at night, I… I need that, I need you”

You never saw him like this—this vulnerable to someone? He was always the great warrior, oldest son of Toruk Makto and one of the most respected men in the clan. Nobody saw him this way, not the way you did. He was falling apart in your arms, begging you over and over to stay in his arms.

“Kalwayaveng! Look at me! Don’t you see how badly I need you? How much i love you?” Those three words made you heart skip a beat, closing your eyes as you embraced the boy tighter, fingers running through his hair in attempt to sooth him.

“Y-your father is assigning you a mate” you remember the hurtful information, holding onto him only to be pulled away, his hands cupping your face as he stared down at you.

“I have promised myself to you many months ago, Syulang. My family, they want you to be with me. They want you to be Tsahìk” You shake your head at his words, trying to look away but he kept your head still.

“You think I can be Tsahìk? Someone as broken as me can’t be a leader, Neteyam. I can’t be Tsahìk, I can’t I-“

“I will step down from my position, I will leave with you-“

“No” you shake your head, mugging the boy above you, your hands cupping his face. “My sweet boy, You’ve worked too hard for this. I won’t ruin this for you” You wiped the tears that ran down his cheeks, smiling at him through your sobs. “Your going to be a great Ole’Eyktan”

“It means nothing without you” He didn’t know what to feel, he had been so angry and upset with you, praying to Eywa you’d just give into him, praying you loved him as much as he loved you. “I want to marry you. I want to travel the lands with you, I want you to carry my children, Y/N”

It hurt to hear because you wanted that too, wanting to spend the rest of your life with him, coming home to him every night. You loved him so much you felt nauseous, terrified of how empty you’d feel once you left.

Even without the bond, you two had the strongest force between you, like you couldn’t leave each other even if you tried. He needed you, he needed you to breath.

He leaned his forehead against yours, a shaky breath leaving his mouth, “I want it all with you, no one else” You felt more tears fall from your eyes as you closed them, one hand resting in his hair and the other on his chest, right above his heart. You felt it beat rapidly, his breathing only becoming less stable. “I’m nothing without you, Syulang. My Y/N, it was always you”

You cursed under your breath, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks as his thumb brushed your lips, you needed to hold back, you needed to leave now.

But you couldn’t.

“Neteyam” He sighs, pulling his head off of yours to look into your eyes, his vibrant yellows practically glowing from the tree of voices beautiful light. “Kiss me” Your words slipped, watching his ears fall as his stomach dropped.

“If I kiss you, Promise me you won’t leave” He cups your face, tail wrapping around your waist to pull you closer. You were so scared, so terrified to put your love into him, your trust into him more then ever.

You’d never be able to stay away from Neteyam, not even worlds apart could keep you from him. “I promise” At your words, he hooked a finger under your chin and leaned down to your face, lips once again brushing against each other but not fully connecting.

You were the one to finish it, eyes fluttering shut as you leaned up, pulling his head down so his soft lips fully met your own. You could barely hold yourself up, the feeling overwhelming you so much you could cry. You had waited so long for this, so long to show him how much you truly loved him. It felt surreal.

The kiss was soft and delicate. Neteyam wanted to make it perfect, making sure not to force it onto you even though deep down he wanted to crash his lips against yours just to show you how much he loved you. It felt like sparks had fell between you two, tails wrapping around one another like dogs with your ears propped up.

He felt so alone when you pulled back, opening his starstruck eyes to look into yours. His heart was racing and you found it so cute, watching his lips threaten a smile.

“Did I do good?” You laugh at his question, nodding your head as you wiped your new tears, his ears instantly falling at you. “What’s wrong? Your still crying…” you shake your head at him, a closed mouth smile appearing across your face.

“I’m just… Oh Eywa” your heart beat out of your chest as you grabbed his hand in yours, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Your heart was so full. “Nga yawne lu oer, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan”

He could no longer hold back after you said those words, practically crashing his lips to yours as his hand held your head against his, slightly afraid he had hurt you, but he couldn’t control himself any longer.

A soft moan escapes your lips, breath tickling his and his ears perked at the sound, pulling you with him to sink to the grass under you. “Y/N” he tries to get your attention as you straddle his lap, hands laid dangerously low on his abdomen. “Y/N, I can’t-“

A whimper leaves his mouth as you move against him, the unfamiliar poke against your core making you gasp. He looks at you embarrassed, like you hadn’t been yearning for his touch, yourself.

“I’m sorry I-it just-“ you cut him off with your lips against his once again, his tail brushing against your leg. You didn’t know where it came from, but your body was suddenly begging for his touch, trying your hardest to find some sort of friction against the boy under you. “Calm down, Pretty girl. I’ve got you”

“Nete…” He can’t help but moan at the sound, his name leaving your mouth being one of the things he’d imagined so much over the past few years. He hummed in response, lips attaching to your neck. “tsaheylu. Please, tsaheylu” He pulls his head up to look at you, eyes searching yours with the big question.

“You know what this means, right?” You nod, reaching back to grab your queue from behind you. His eyes stare lovingly to your queue, bringing his own only a few inches from yours before looking back up at you, your eyes watching him closely. “You’ve been mine forever, you know that?”

“I’ve always known, Ma’Teyam. I’ve Always known” with one last look, you watched as your queues connected, head falling against his as you both let out a shaky breath. You smile at his whimpers, kissing his forehead. He was more vocal then you could’ve imagined but you loved it, praising him for it everytime he got embarrassed.

He lifts you closer to him and you gasp, arms wrapping around his neck. The love shared between you felt so unreal, all those years of hiding it were So, so worth it. “My mate, My fucking mate” He mumbled against you happily, almost fearing this had just been a dream.

His lips attach to your neck with ease, guiding you down to lay on your back against the grass. Your emotions filled his body so easily, your scent becoming ten times stronger then before. “Can i remove this, pretty girl?” He asks, fingers tugging at your new loincloth. “It’s pretty, but it’s blocking my view”

You nod your head with a soft moan, feeling his hand brush your aching clit. He removed your loincloth with care, eyes set on yours as he wasted no time in rubbing your clit, watching your head fall back.

The unexpected stimulation makes you recoil. He leaves a path of kisses from your jaw to your shoulder, you both knew you had been ready when your cunt was nearly dripping from his touch.

"Mhmm" you hummed as he hovered over you, pulling your right leg against his side as he kissed down your now exposed chest, whispering small things under his breath after each one.

"Tell me, baby. What did you plan to do once you left?" He whispered the dark words into your ear, lips brushing against your lobe. "were you gonna find someone better? Find someone who could fill my place?”

"Please, I can't— I need you, Teyam " you beg desperately with short breath, running your fingers through his long hair in attempt to get him away from the topic. You didn’t want to talk about that right now, just wanting to focus on him.

"You didn't answer my question" he reminds you, trailing his breath along your neck, driving you completely mad under his embrace. He smirks to himself, finger ghosting your core to catch your attention.

"Nobody could ever make me feel the way you do, god— please, Nete" your hand found its way back to the back of his neck, pulling him back into a deep kiss and lightly tugging on his hair, earning a small moan from his lips. “Like your hair pulled, huh?”

“Only if it’s you pulling it” You blush as he lays his forehead against yours. All you could hear was the sound of your breath between each other. He looked at you with pure desire, love radiating from the two of you without even saying a word. You could feel his heart, his emotions, his thoughts, but it was nothing compared to the look he gave you.

“May I?” You watch as he moves down, planting kisses along your bare body. You nod breathlessly, propping yourself up onto your elbows so you could watch him move down to your core. “So wet, Baby. Fuck, need to taste you” you reach down, pushing his braids away from his face as he gave you one last look before leaning his head down.

Your head fell back against the grass, a soft moan leaving your mouth. Your eyes rolled back at the new stimulation, gasping as you sat up to look at what had been stretching you so far.

“Is this okay, my love?” He asks, continuing to slip his slender fingers into your dripping core. You nodded, moaning at how deep they had been. You could only imagine what was to come. “So pretty when you moan. The most beautiful girl in the world”

“Oh my god…” you sigh, laying back once his mouth was back on you, tongue swirling around your clit as his fingers dug deeper inside you. “Neteyam… baby”

“Taste so fucking good” He hums against your core, tongue running a line up your slit, cleaning the soaking mess you had made his hand. As if he wasn’t in love enough before, he definitely was now. “Need you to come, pretty girl. I need you, badly”

It only took you a small amount of time until you felt an unfamiliar knot tie in your stomach and you cried, pulling on his braids as he started to speed up his movements against your core, fingertips brushing your cervix like it was nothing and his tongue toying with your clit.

“Right there…mmph! Right there!” You cry for your mate, hand pulling at his freshly done braids as your hips rolled toward him, chasing after that feeling you so obviously needed. “Gonna come… god, already gonna come, Nete”

“Right there? Talk to me, Sweet girl” His words made you moan even more, the sound of his voice only making you more soaked then before. He pushed his fingers all the way into you, watching your face twist in pleasure. He was growing impatient, the tent in his loincloth only becoming bigger by the second.

“Nete…!” You warn but that doesn’t stop his movements, only making him go faster, eating you like you had been his last meal and like his life depended on it. Oh Eywa, he was so in love. “I’m…fuck!” You couldn’t hold your release any longer, practically pulling his hair as you let go, legs threatening to close against him and your back arched off the grass under you. His ears perked at your noises, praying to Eywa he’d make it far enough to finally sink into you.

But you couldn’t wait. You needed him and you needed him now before you went insane. You pushed him back from your body gently, straddling his lap once he sat back up. His eyes were wide but you didn’t care, working to remove his loincloth as fast as you could.

“Mawey, Sweet girl. We have all night” he chuckles, pressing a kiss to your soft lips. “I want to take my time, need to feel every part of you” he pulls your closer to him, lips reattaching to your neck as you grind against his painfully hard cock, so sure you could come again just off of that.

"Take me, Nete " you begged him, hands running through his dark hair. Your slit is dripping, practically inviting him to use you but he refused, making sure to touch every part of you before he took you—before claiming you as his forever. “Your driving me insane” His breath catches inside his throat as you take his length in your small hand, thumb running over the tip that oozed of pre. He was so adorable under your touch, completely submitting to you everytime you touched him. “Poor baby, He’s begging you, Tey” You hum, placing a few kisses along his shoulder he he continued to curse under his breath, begging you to let up.

“Damnit, Y/N. You don’t know when to stop do you?” You smirk, bringing your thumb to your lips making sure he was watching as you took it into your mouth, swirling the pre around your tongue. “I can’t fucking do this anymore” he crashed your lips together in an instant, nails digging into your sides as he pulled you closer against him. He originally wanted this sweet and passionate, but he couldn’t hold back much longer, he needed you now.

“Your so beautiful, you know that?” He mumbles against your lips, lifting you up to hover above him, just inches away from his length threatening to enter you. He gives you one last look but you just crash your lips back into his, slowly sinking to your knees against his lap.

"Neteyam..." The sensation was overwhelming and your nails dug into the back of his neck, shaky breaths exchanging between the two of you as he filled you. It hurt but you could take it, the bond only making it so much harder for you to keep quiet. “S’big… so fucking big” You whine, stopping only when half of him was buried inside you, his hand rubbing the small of your back as he placed kissed on your shoulder.

"I know, Pretty girl" he mumbles against your neck, dragging his tongue along the sweet spot under your ear and pulling you closer against him. “You got it, Baby. Nice and slow” You moan at his coaching words, his hands holding you in place until you were ready for more, guiding you down onto him. “That’s it… Taking me so well”

“Too much, Teyam. Too much…” You cry and he shushes you, reaching between you to find your clit. He whispered some of the dirtiest things to you as he rubbed circles against your bud, slowly losing himself as he felt you take more of him. You felt so full, so loved—you couldn’t believe this was real.

“Shit” You both curse in unison as your skin collides, his cock buried deep inside you while your legs shook, leaning your forehead against his. “Am I hurting you?” His thumb rubs your thigh gently and you take a deep breath before shaking your head, closing your big eyes at the feeling. “It's hurting you. I can-"

"No!" You stopped the boy, cupping his face in your hands. "It just takes a second to get used to, I’m okay” you give him a nod and he sighs. “Your so fucking tight, Y/N. Feels so good and I haven’t even moved yet.

The boys patience is running out and he suddenly can’t hold on anymore, wrapping your legs around his waist before leaning you back against the grass so he could hover over you. The pressure was much less now. “It’ll feel so much better like this, My love. Just relax, let me take care of you”

Your eyes roll back as he begins to move at a slow pace, lips attached to your neck hungrily and you couldn’t help but dig your nails into his back, so rough you were sure you drew blood. Your mind was scattered. Trying your best to find the words, or even the look to give the man above you—but it was nearly impossible. His words, His feral rhythm, his gentle hands against your skin— all of it made your eyes flutter shut.

“Teyam, Ma’Teyam” you repeat against his ear and he grunts, pulling your leg against his side to allow himself more access. It felt good, maybe a little too good now. “Oh my god…” he pulled his face up to look at your twisted expression, met with your eyes squeezed shut under him in pure bliss.

"Look at me. I want you to look at me" His thumb brushed your bottom lip as you opened your eyes, trying your hardest not to lose yourself under his grasp. You finally looked back into his eyes, bottom lip stuck between your teeth as he found a pace. It was cloud nine to say the least—the lust, the passion, the need for each other. “Oel ngati kameie, Ma’Tìyawn” you whine at his words, pulling his face down to yours to press a passionate kiss against his lips. You saw him, you finally saw him.

It didn’t take much longer for you to get used to him and for his pace to increase, and you soon found yourself clinging to him for support—both of your moans filling the quiet forest around you. His tip kissed your cervix over and over, a mixture of moans, cries, and gasps leaving your lips as you took him, still begging him for more.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do this” He admits against your ear, pulling one of your legs over his shoulder. “Legs shaking and all, such a good girl for me” You moan loudly at his words, clenching around him as you pulled him closer to you. He knew what that nick name did to you, and he used it to his advantage. “So lucky we’re away from everyone because if they could hear you now” He laughs at his own words, completely rutting into you like an animal in heat.

“Gonna come, Nete… I can’t hold it” You whine as he continues to speak, only picking up his pace hitting your spot deeper and deeper by the second.

“Where do you need me, My love. Where do you want it?” You could tell by his sloppy strokes and breathless voice that he had been close, chasing after his high slowly but surely to give you time to react. “Wanna come inside. Paint your walls nice and pretty”

You hum at the idea, holding his face in your hands as he continued to stroke you. It was too much, you were going to release if he didn’t slow down. “Take what you want, Ma’Teyam. I’m yours, only yours!”

He pulled you back up into his lap to straddle him once again, except this time he had been doing most of the work, guiding your hips up and down. You felt his cock twitch inside of you and you couldn’t help but clench around him, his breathing growing severely heavy at the feeling.

“Feels so good. You need it, don’t you? Need me to come inside you, Sweet girl?” You cry and nod your head, hands getting lost in his braids as you felt your orgasm approaching fast, bouncing on his lap harder then before. “S-shit!”

“Want it so bad, baby. Give it to me! Right behind you, my love. Give me everything, all of it!” With one last stroke, he pushed you down harshly onto his lap, the tip of his cock pressing your cervix before he released his thick white seed against your gummy walls, painting them nice and pretty just like he promised. The two of you let out a long lasting, tattooing moan as you fell into each other, chests heaving harshly against one another.

“Holy shit” Neteyam sat dumbfounded, still trying to convince himself this was real. But it was, you were you and he was him, laying against each other with your queues still attached. All those years of waiting, all those arguments with himself over you, it had all been worth it. “You okay, Pretty girl?” You nod against his chest, exhausted to say the very least.

“Carry me home, Nete” He chuckles, chest vibrating against your body as he stroked a hand through your hair.

“Can’t go home like this, My love” He pulls out of you, watching the mess he created slowly expose itself. You whine but he shushes you, gently laying you back onto the grass, pulling you against his chest so you could get warmer. The two of you stare at the tree above you, a smile almost instantly spreading across your face. “Eywa has heard us, huh?”

You move your head against his chest, looking up into his big yellow eyes full of love. “Ma’Teyam” your finger traces his jawline, watching his face soften at the sight of you. His beautiful mate—his everything. “Eywa has always heard us”

You spent the rest of the night sleeping in each others arms, not a care in the world of what happened at that party, because you had him. You had your Neteyam, and you couldn’t thank him enough for following you into the forest that night.

I feel like this is super bad because I kept rushing some parts due to tumblr’s TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES LOGGING ME OUT 💔 sooooo I kind of gave up toward the end…. But if this isn’t good I’ll probably rewrite it. Here’s this for now though 🫶🏼

Taglist: @n3t3y4msm4t3 @abbersreads @neteyamoa @zatarias-pandora @dead-28

[lightlycareless]

I was on Twitter/X and saw someone mention why Naoya is popular among Japanese fans and a big reason apparently is that he speaks in a cutesy dialect that’s only used by girls. And that it’s the kind of way of speaking where girls can insult you and it’s hard to be offended. And now I can only imagine Y/N reacting to this grown man insulting her in this cute dialect 🤭

Heya anon!!!

Yessssss! I quite recently saw a Tiktok talking about that and thought it was really unexpected, but cute at the same time? Ironic for sure too… guess it explains how he got so popular since even the author has called him a total jerk 😂

Unfortunately, I don’t know much about Kansai dialect, nor think there’s an equivalent to it in English, so I’m guiding myself with how it was translated in the manga, and perhaps my delusions too 😏 in order to write the following.

warnings: none.

The first time you notice his peculiar way of speaking would be when you met him many, many years ago, in jujutsu high. Everything about him was highly enthralling, from his appearance to his background, but when he opened his mouth…

Your curiosity ramped up to even higher levels, longing to know everything about him, as well as see the extent of his “cutesy” talk.

And boy, does it not disappoint.

It would happen unexpectedly one day. Let’s say that after a bunch boring classes you eventually grew very hungry and tired. So, after deciding you were long overdue for a break (and because you hadn’t prepared anything beforehand) you head over to the cafeteria to get something to eat and rest.

… a big mistake, because soon after you finish eating, you begin to feel sick, stomach twisting and churning, to the point you don’t think yourself capable of continuing with the rest of your classes.

Naoya is amongst the few that (vividly) notices your extended absence, and while he will never admit it out loud, he was worried that something bad happened to you, thus, he roamed across the school grounds in hopes of finding you.

When he does, you’re sitting by one of the benches, tightly holding onto your stomach as you debate whether to die there or die on the way to the infirmary.

“What’s wrong with you?” Naoya bluntly asks.

“I…. I think I ate something spoiled.” You whimper, barely able to look him in the eye.

“Does your tummy hurt or something?”

“Yes, it’s awful, it’s like I’m being—my what?” you blink—did you hear that right?

“Your tummy.” He repeats, oblivious to your reaction, far more preoccupied with your health. “Does it hurt?”

“My… tummy…?” A smile begins to part your lips, and suddenly, your pain is all but forgotten. “Did you say tummy??”

“I… I did….?” Naoya says, flustered and unsure whether this is something good or not to admit.

He soon finds the answer.

“How adorable!!” you gush, and by now, Naoya is red as a tomato—because he clearly doesn’t want to be seen as adorable by his crush!

“I said stomach!! I meant to say stomach!!” He rushes to defend himself, but it’s too late now, he’s already admitted to the crime.

“Noooo, you said tummy!!” you continue to jest. “My thummy wurts vewy, vewy, bad Naoya-kun…”

“Ugh, you can die out here for all I care…”

“No, wait Naoya!” you gasp, quickly standing up and reaching for me. “Can you at least accompany me to the infirmary? I’ll forget about this, I swear!”

Of course, you don’t let this go so easily, in fact, when the two start dating you continue teasing him about it—but you just couldn’t help it!! It just comes to him so naturally, you had to bring it up anytime you could, you know?

“Why are you upset? Did daddy get mad at you again?” you ask.

“Yes! That old man can’t keep himself out of my—wait, no—don’t call him daddy!” Naoya stammers, you giggle. He’s not ignorant to the times he’s condescendingly referred to Naobito with a that “nickname”, yet it didn’t mean he’d like to hear you calling him that as well!

“Why? Do you prefer I’d call you daddy?”

His breath hitches, something igniting inside him.

“…Not here.”

“Ok” you smile. “I won’t call you daddy, then, daddy. Wouldn’t want you to get angry at me.”

“… keep instigating me, princess, and I won’t reward you later tonight.”

I think the more you delve into this aspect of his, the more you find it adorable, to the point where you find his words a bit less serious; however, you’d eventually grow accustomed to it, and maybe even adopted some mannerisms of your own 🤭

I know you were referring to Naoya insulting Y/N but honestly I have no idea how it would be... I'm as dry as dry can get when it comes to it :'( but I still hope you were able to enjoy this small scenario! Gotta say, watching him say daddy in the manga was unexpected, but got me thinking what other things he'd say in that way, you know?

ironically, I think he might be the best when talking to children because of that—when he's not being his tsundere/rude self.

Anyways, thank you so much for sending in this ask!! I can't wait to hear how his voice sounds when it's finally animated, I hope they're able to keep his dialect and see what the fuss is all about 🤭😂

Take care, and hope to see you soon!! ❤️❤️