#and I'm left over with nothing for myself

[zyafics]

i love love love your writing<3

rq: rafe had came up to tanneyhill's balcony for some peace at his own party. though he didn’t expect reader to be there, looking utterly lost. he knows reader is new. seen you before, too, hanging out with sarah’s crowd; under a pogue’s arm whenever they see him around, telling you rafe isn't anything worth talking, or interacting with.

first off, i am so sorry it took me so long to get this done (as with a lot of my requests) but thank you so much for enjoying my writing!! 🩷 i hope i do this prompt justice (literally shaking in my boots as i post this 😭)

masterlist

pairing s2!rafe cameron x female reader

content (3.2k words) fluff + angst, rafe spiraling (s2 canons), lowkey enemies tension, rafe growing possessive of reader <3

dedication to @mintforadollar who listened to me ranting about this plot a month ago, only to now complete the request, <3 luv u & prompt credited to this on c.ai!

lıllılı Champagne Coast by Blood Orange

Rafe wants to be alone.

His mind is caught in a tailspin, muscles singing with ache from his latest altercation. It didn't help that the fucker managed to get some good swings in, ripples of pain spread from his jawline to his left eye. When he enters the second floor of Tannyhill, all he wants is to catch a breath of fresh air away from the party. His party.

He didn't expect to see you.

"Out." Rafe commands gruffly. You flinch at his abrupt command. "Second floor is off-limits."

He adds nothing else as he marches over to the edge of the balcony, digging his scraped palms into the smooth ridges of the handrails. He didn't want anyone here to witness the brunt of his frustration and disappointment, or how his mind swims with disoriented and incoherent thoughts. He wants to be alone.

But you won't let him.

Cautiously, you take a step forward—not in the direction of the exit, as he hoped—but towards Rafe instead. Lifting his head at the sound of your faint footsteps, agitation flushing through his expression at your proximity. "Didn't I tell you to get out?"

"You got into a fight." You mumble your observation, examining his hardened profile to discover the bruise that decorates his jawline, swelling with discoloration, the darkening under his left eye, and the split of open skin right above his brow.

He scoffs. "No shit."

"And you're bleeding."

He is? He didn't know that. All consumed by the adrenaline rushing through his system—that has yet to wind down—Rafe lifts his hand to run his fingers over the most prominent aches around his face. When he presses against something wet, he withdraws, finding a fresh coat of blood over his fingertips.

Rafe grimaces at the sight—not the blood, he's used to that—but the fact that his opponent succeeded in cutting him too.

Now, he definitely doesn't want you here. Before Rafe has the chance to kick you out the third time, you offer assistance. "I can help," you say meekly, messing with the hems of your top.

He didn't catch it over the loud thumping of his heartbeat in his ears. "What?"

"I can help," you repeat, louder this time, wincing at the projection of your own voice. You don't like the strain in your tone, the desperation seeping through. You'd do anything to avoid returning to the party. "I know how to patch up wounds. I'm training to be an EMT."

"I didn't ask for a life story." He snaps, a mechanical response to any aid. The idea of someone taking care of him is unheard of; unfamiliar and uncomfortable. He doesn't know how to react other than complete and utter rejection. "Besides, I can take care of myself."

Rafe assumes his harsh words would drive you away. The bite behind each syllable has been enough to scare off everyone else but you remain firm in your position. If anything, your expression softens, eyes washing over his rigid posture with a sympathetic look. He hates it.

"I know," you start slowly, eyes cascading down his face, carefully monitoring his reaction. "But... wouldn't it be nice if you didn't have to?"

His expression breaks.

Your kindness strikes directly to his chest and his heart clutches at the way you address him. With humanity. Even when he's been nothing but a complete asshole to you, demanding your departure, you respond with a sense of warmth. Rafe clenches down his jaw.

When he doesn't answer quickly enough, a sign of his contemplation, you add. "Please."

Reluctantly, Rafe gives in. "Fine."

Rafe moves from the balcony deck to reenter Tannyhill, not bothering to check if you're following behind. He heads straight to the ensuite connected to his bedroom, checking under the sink for his first aid kit, before throwing the box over the counter.

That's when he catches a glimpse of himself through the mirror, the ugly bruising that lines his face, the dried blood that stains his temple. His jaw tightens at the sight.

You enter shortly after, seeing him with his back to the mirror, his spine pressed against the rim of the porcelain sink. Your eyes do a quick sweep of your surroundings, before landing on Rafe and his rigid form, arms crossed over his chest, and a cold look on his face. He just wants to get this over with.

You glance outside, to his room, with its openness, before meeting his gaze. "Can we go to your bed?"

His answer is immediate. "No."

You frown but ask nothing more. Rafe's trying to make this difficult for you, refusing to cooperate because it's easier than submitting to your grace. Easier than admitting he'd like the help. You work around that.

Grabbing the antiseptics from the kit, you proceed to clean his wounds, softly massaging his flesh in the process. For a moment, it feels too good and Rafe fights the urge to lean into your hand before a sharp pain rips through him from the open cut and he hisses.

You immediately pull back, mumbling a quick apology.

His eyes squeeze shut, it takes a moment for the throb to cool down, and once it does, Rafe reconnects his gaze with yours to find the remorseful look behind your stare, the softening of your features met with utmost concern. You don't make another move to try again.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine." He bites out, wanting to rid you of that look. He's not weak. Stop looking at him as if he is. Despite the reassurance, you have yet to continue. "You're not going to be a good doctor if you shy away every time your patient gets hurt."

"I feel bad." You admit, chewing on your bottom lip.

"Why? You didn't do this."

He's the one who got into the fight. The one who swung first. While he may have won in the end, having knocked out the guy in the middle of the yard, it doesn't neglect the damage done to him in the process. But, at the end of the day, it's his fault.

You don't see it that way. "Because you're hurting."

You're too soft. That's what Rafe determines. Every little moment, little sprouts of empathy, every inch of sensitivity, is going to hurt you in the end. It won't save anything.

"I don't need your pity," Rafe snaps, giving you the first taste of reality under his razor-sharp tongue. He could be considerate, and understanding, but he isn't. That's how he learned.

"It's not—" You sigh. You don't want to argue and relent against his jabs. Without further commentary, you continue forward with your duties: aiding in his treatment and biting through the humane urge to sympathize with his pain.

Rafe takes the silence to observe you while you work. He knows you grew quiet because of his rough manners, and he won't lie to himself and say he enjoys it. He doesn't. But it adds to the list of everything else he has done wrong in his life; his long string of failures that his father can't wait to remind him of.

In the quietness, Rafe recognizes something about you. It takes a moment, after all the aches and throbs, but the recognition dawns on him that you're new. You hang out with his sister, Sarah, and the rest of the filthy group of no-good Pogues on the other side of the island. There have even been occasions when he saw you under JJ's arm, slinging around red solo cups and a grim soak of southside.

"Where's your friends?" Rafe asks, surprising you with the roughness behind his voice.

You lift your gaze to his. "Hmm?"

"The Pogues. Don't you hang out with them?"

You swallow hard, feeling like a child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar. You hoped your newcomer status would be enough to shield yourself from Rafe's wraith, especially his hatred towards your selected group. "Why?"

Rafe immediately picks up on the shift in your demeanor, the rigidness in your shoulders that tells him exactly what he needs to know. "You've heard about me, haven't you?"

You hesitate to answer. Rafe presses on. "What'd they say?"

Your friends have told you many warnings about the notorious Rafe Cameron. It all comes down to one conclusion: he's dangerous. He's irrational, self-centered, and narcissistic. He isn't worth talking to because all he cares about is himself.

However, you like to find out for yourself.

Rafe leans forward, lowering himself to meet your height and his face is right in front of yours. An arrogant smirk rises to his lips, a challenge for you to answer. "Come on, princess, don't tell you came up here without doing a bit of research beforehand."

You recognize this as a facade, a way for him to hide his true feelings because it's easier to disturb others. To mess with people and not reflect on your own. You place a hand against the solid of his chest and gently push him back, forcing him to reinstate the safe distance established before. You continue back to your line of work.

Your little push surprises Rafe. It also intrigues him too.

"They said you weren't worth talking to," you say softly, avoiding eye contact as he follows your every move. "That you're dangerous."

He scoffs at the reveal, but it pinches his heart that his own sister would agree. He values her opinion more than he'd like to admit. Drawing out a noncommital shrug, pretending not to care, he declares. "They're right."

You hum. "Maybe."

He looks directly at you with a raised brow. "Maybe?"

Your eyes finally connect with his, "I'm still figuring that out." You pull back, setting the supplies back into his aid box. "Done."

You're about to take a step back when Rafe grabs your wrist, holding you in place. Your breath shortens, and you peer down at the place of your contact before raising your gaze to his.

"What do you mean by that?" He demands, his expression hardens but his eyes are pleading. That juxtaposition, between who he is and what he wants, is the exact thing you're trying to uncover.

You aren't afraid of him. Not like the others.

"I don't know," you answer truthfully, sweeping over his face, reading the conflict his features can't seem to contain. Rafe, you're slowly unraveling, is someone who puts his heart on his sleeves. He just hasn't had anyone who cares enough to look for it. "I just don't know if I truly believe that."

"Why not? The rest of the island does."

It's almost a spiral. An edge closer to it. You think it's because Rafe finally has someone who looks past his mask, his deception that the rest of the island gladly takes. They're afraid of him; he engineered that reputation by hand. But you've met your fair share of burnt souls to know they're all worth saving.

You answer him.

"Your eyes." You explain gently. "They say it's the windows to someone's soul."

"And?"

"And, Rafe Cameron, you're someone who isn't as heartless as you'd like the rest of the world to believe."

His grip loosens from your words and you take the opportunity to slip out of his grasp and settle your arms by your side. Rafe watches as you offer him a soft smile, one that reaches your eyes, and you're about to return to the balcony deck for some peace when he follows you into his bedroom.

"That's not fair." He denounces, halting your exit.

You turn around to face him. "What is?"

"You can't come in here and make those assumptions. You don't know shit about my life."

Rafe doesn't like to be read so clearly; to know that whatever he's trying to front isn't deluding you. For some reason, he needs to convince you that every rumor and gossip is true. That he is bad. The idea of it is embedded so deeply into the crevices of his self-worth, that he's having a hard time believing anything else.

Rafe expects your reaction to meet his fury, but the slope of your brows furrow together calmly. A delicate practice over years of training. "I never said I did."

"You're acting like you do."

You frown. "Now you're making assumptions about me," you refute, pointing out his hypocrisy, and a tinge of sharpness slips through. "You asked and I answered. You can't be mad because you don't like them."

"Then why?" He snaps, irritation spewing with his venom. "Who the fuck are you to make that judgment?"

"I thought you didn't want to hear my life story."

He huffs. Rafe finds himself at a crossroads. While you're standing there, with your collected composure, he feels like he's unraveling by the seams. There's something about you. The way you read through him like glass. He doesn't know if he likes it or not. If he needs it or not.

"Bitch," he mutters under his breath at your lack of compliance, and your breath hitches at the term, a flash of anger goes through you like a surge. He recognized that look; it was something he was all too familiar with.

You turn around, about to sprint for the exit once again when Rafe calls out. "Wait."

You don't want to turn around this time. Rafe had managed to make you break through your own facade, your own composure that you spent years trying to cultivate. Something about being in the same room as the eldest Cameron makes you regress into your formative years.

"Turn around."

Your jaw is slighted, but you try to hold it together. You loosen your features before you turn on your heel. You still don't think Rafe is the person he's trying to present to the world, and you doubt that he truly carries that much cruelty in one body, but that doesn't mean you have to be in the same room as him.

But something made you stay.

Rafe crosses the large space, standing just in front of you. His breath is hot against yours, his eyes sharp. You tilt your head, meeting his stare, but to contrast his intensity, your gaze is soft yet firm, your eyes unwavering. Just because you are kinder than he is doesn't mean you are weak.

"You know what it's like, don't you?" He murmurs gruffly, his voice straining at the exposure. This questioning also carries the weight of admission underneath; to bridge a kinship. "Or are you a liar?"

You're not. But no one's ever asked the questions Rafe is asking either. Not your friends back home or the new ones with the Pogues. They treasure your friendship but they don't understand your depth.

"No."

"No, what?"

"I'm not a liar," you bite out. Rafe's mouth curls into a satisfactory smile, and he gets a glimpse of your real character. The true you underneath all that dignity. It's like his own dirty secret. "I know."

You saw through Rafe because you understood him. You shared the same sentiments. You groomed the same callousness. Every act he performs, you went through first. You can't point at his reflection without looking at the mirror yourself.

But you're a bit different. You learn to control it. You discovered that all that anger was something else. Hurt, pain, injustice. You take it all and put it in a box, caged behind thick chains and hard locks. Never to be touched again. Rafe takes it out to the open, free to play. You may come from the same origin but you take two different routes.

However, Rafe sees you much clearer now. To know you can understand him, see through his perspective, and filter out his incoherent thoughts. That's something he'd never experienced before in his life.

"The voices, anger, and impulses?" His voice shrinks, eyes searching yours. You hesitate before nodding once. "You get that too?"

It comes out when you're most hurt. "I do."

He feels like can breathe for once, to not feel completely isolated from the rest of the world. Rafe always feels off, like something is wrong with him. Nothing can be explained; nothing is allowed to be explored. Even when he sought therapy, his father denied his request. He thought he‘d be forever alone in all this.

He steps forward, closing in the distance until there's only an inch of space separating you. But even that feels too big. Oxygen stuck in your throat, Rafe connects his gaze with yours to whisper. "You're like me, aren't you?"

You swallow hard. You didn't realize understanding someone could be a reflection of your own damning soul. You don't know if it's a good thing. "Yes."

His pupils are dilated and nearly pitch-black. His breathing shortens, and his gaze pools with desire. You feel it too. Your heart accelerates beneath your ribcage, your stomach knotting with want. When Rafe leans forward, about to capture your lips on his, you ready yourself to let it all in.

But you're a bit different.

You turn your head away at the last second, his contact coming to your cheek.

"I'm..." You exhale, squeezing your eyes shut. "I'm with JJ."

The world stills on its axis, and you feel the gravity of it beneath your feet. You slowly peel your eyes open, only to find Rafe having pulled back, his hand, midway through the air to hold your chin, closes into a tight fist.

You let out a shaky breath, your eyes swimming with regret.

The look on his face is heartbreaking because you know him in parallel, you know what he's feeling. You take a step back, for your sanity or his, it’s unclear. All you know is the distance was safe. Until it wasn't.

"I should go." You whisper.

Rafe says nothing as you pad your way across his room, slipping out of the door. He remains motionless in the same spot, his jaw set, his fists clenched by his side. The adrenaline pulses return through his veins.

Fuck.

It takes a minute to gather himself. Hearing nothing but the throbbing bass beneath him, pulsing through the floor. His heart is wretched, his stomach full of nausea.

Rafe returns to the balcony to pull away from his room, the place where you had been, and he steps closer to the ledge. Everything in his mind is too quiet; sterile and white-screeching. He doesn't know how to fathom this change.

His blue eyes search across the lawn and he easily picks you out of the crowd. He knows you well now. Those brief, fleeting moments attached to his soul are permanent memories.

You rejoined the party with Sarah and the rest of the Pogues, while JJ saunters over and throws his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close and whispering something in your ear. You smile and laugh, but it doesn't quite reach your eyes.

When you look up, you find Rafe already watching. His eyes are set on yours, unmoving, and the intimacy of his gaze strikes something deep. You had to turn away to preserve yourself.

Rafe slowly comes to his understanding on his own. He never had someone who understood him, much less in such a short time. You unravel him behind gentle stares and quiet observations. You knew him because you knew yourself, and he doesn't want to lose that. He doesn't want to lose you. He can’t. 

So, he decided.

You weren't his.

But he's taking you anyways.

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[delusional-day-dreamer]

U My Everything - p.b

‣ paige x grumpy reader

‣ wc: 3178

‣‣ synopsis: paige's harmless joke is taken a little too personally by her sensitive and grumpy girlfriend; slight angst? but very fluffy by the end! (the song is most relevant for the end part of the fic as it's inspired by KK's 05/31/24 live, can u tell I live for uconn lives?)

‣‣‣ a/n: I'M SORRY, i know y'all chose emily in the poll but I alr finished this one and I've promised myself I would try to release at least one fic a day; emily's will be out very very soon, writing smut for the first time is just very nerve wracking lmao. this is lightly based off the, good morning gorgeous, tiktok trend going around rn; Also, I'm so sorry for the amount of times I use y'all, like, literally, and really because I try to make my dialogue and what not as realistic as possible, but as a Southern Californian they're literally engraved into my vocabulary 😭😭.

Rolling over in bed half-conscious, your arms reach out, patting around the bed in an attempt to locate your girlfriend's warmth without having to open your eyes. However, to your sheer disappointment, your fingers are met with cold, rumpled sheets on Paige's side of the bed.

Now fully conscious with confusion as to how your girlfriend managed to slip from bed without you realizing, the pounding in your head became all the more severe as you sat up in bed, frustrated that the one person who could comfort you simply with their presence was nowhere to be found.

With your right hand massaging the temple, attempting to soothe the deep ache that had settled into the front portion of your head, your left hand blindly felt around your nightstand for your phone, knowing Paige wouldn't have left you alone in bed without so much as a simple text message. But to your surprise, her name was absent from your list of notifications.

Even more annoyed than before, you forced yourself out of her bed, stumbling your way to her adjacent bathroom, wincing at the sudden intrusion that was fluorescent lighting. By the time you began brushing your teeth, you heard the front door open, hearing Paige call your name as she entered the dorm.

"Bathroom," you yelled out to her, despite your head screaming at you to shut up and crawl back under the safety of Paige's comforter.

"Hey baby," Paige greeted as she entered the bathroom while you spit toothpaste into the sink, coming up behind you to hug your waist, resting her head on your shoulder. As you stood back up to meet her gaze in the mirror's reflection, you saw her tuck her bottom lip into her mouth, clearly trying to hide her shit-eating grin.

"Well don't you look... interesting this morning," she teased, the sarcasm apparent in her low voice. You knew her mocking was all in good fun, the two of you often poking fun at each other for little things. But perhaps it was the headache still waging war in your skull, or the final three midterms you had to take later today, or your remanent annoyance at having to wake up alone, despite her knowing your favorite part of the day was waking up, warm and all loved up in her arms, or perhaps it was the fact that looking in the mirror, you genuinely looked wrecked this morning.

Your curly hair was reduced to nothing but a puff of frizz overnight, sticking out in all directions, your eyebags particularly prominent this morning, combined with the pesky anxiety breakout that had settled into your forehead a few days prior, you just couldn't handle her jokes today.

"Yes, thank you for pointing that out Paige," you shot back, setting your toothbrush back in its cup holder, exiting her hold to wipe your hands on the small towel before pushing past her to get dressed in her room.

Paige followed close behind you, curious as to why you were giving her so much attitude so early in the day, especially over such a harmless statement.

"What's up with you, this is the first time I've even seen you this morning," She questioned from her seat on the unmade bed as you began changing your clothes with your back facing her, which was another thing that struck out to her as odd. After dating for over a year now, the two of you were incredibly comfortable with each other, and it was rare for you to completely turn your back on her, even when changing.

"Nothing, I'm just not in the mood today," you grumbled, tugging your, her, sweatshirt over your head. Heading over to her floor length mirror with your makeup bag and necessary hair products in hand, you settle down on the floor in front of it, convinced to improve your appearance a bit before you head off to your exams today. Still ignoring Paige's presence in the room, you began getting ready.

Hearing her scoff as you started applying your makeup, she got up and began making the bed, intent on ignoring your bratty mood until you fixed it. You knew you were being petty and acting bitchy to your girlfriend, who had technically done nothing wrong, you just couldn't force yourself to drop the attitude. By the time you finished your makeup and smoothed out your slickback, you managed to go the entire twenty minutes without so much as looking at your girlfriend through the mirror, who had now perched herself on her side of the bed, scrolling mindlessly on her phone.

Your headache hadn't subsided yet, but now that you were more awake, you had gotten used to the throbbing sensation. Making your way over to your side of her bed, you collected your phone, headphones, watch, school bag, and other items from your nightstand and around the area to get ready to leave.

"Your heading out already? You still have over an hour before your first class," Paige finally addressed you, putting her phone in her lap to look at you as you packed your things.

"Yeah I'm gonna head to the library early so I can review before my first midterm," You answered, speaking to her normally for the first time in the last hour she had returned.

"But what about breakfast, you're not gonna be able to concentrate and stuff when you're all hangry," she said, only slightly teasing you with her statement.

"I'll just grab something to eat from the coffee shop next to the library, I was gonna stop by and get matcha from there anyways," you responded, a small part inside of you glad that despite your attitude, Paige made sure that you were well taken care of.

"Dude I still don't understand how you drink that stuff, tastes like straight grass," she had dropped her concern and switched back to joking, her automatic setting. "But I guess it's fitting," she continued, "cause yk, cows just love their grass," she sighed, holding back her laughter at what she thought was a brilliant joke.

In her defense, if it was any other morning, you would've joined in on her teasing, either mooing at her in response or poking fun at her in return.

But today, it just ticked you off even further. I mean, you were clearly already in a bad mood, stressed the fuck out, hangry (but Paige didn't need to know she was right), and the sharp pressure in your head was only getting worse. Plus, Paige had already easily finished off her midterm exams two days prior, which meant she didn't truly understand why you were so worked up over your exams. And the worst part, your bloating and exhaustion really did make you feel a little bit like a cow.

“P I'm just not in the mood to deal with you right now," you sighed, exasperation laced in your tone. "I already feel bad enough this morning, I can't handle you piling more onto my plate, I'll see you later," you barely even said goodbye to her properly as you gathered your stuff, put on your shoes, and left her dorm.

The second you closed her door behind you, you could feel the pit forming in your stomach, full of regret and shame. You knew it was unfair to be so rude to Paige when she was just trying to lighten your mood, but your anxiety always caused you to last out at anyone who tried to help you. You made a mental note while walking to your favorite coffee shop to apologize and make it up to her when you saw her in the evening, after the stress from midterm week had diffused and your raging headache calmed down.

***SMALL TIME SKIP***

You were flipping through your study notes and flashcards while listening to one of Paige's playlist on the lowest volume possible when you saw your phone screen light up from next to you. Deciding it would be good to take a quick thirty second break, you reach for your phone and matcha latte at the same time, clicking on the text message you received from Paige.

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From P 💜:

I'm so sorry for making fun of you this morning baby, I know you're stressed about your tests today and I had no intentions of making you feel worse with my jokes, I just wanted to cheer you up a bit because I know how bad your anxiety can get. Good luck on your test today killer, i love you 🤍.

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Shit, now you really felt bad for snapping at her earlier today. All remnants of your misplaced anger had long since disappeared, now replaced with embarrassment. She was right, your anxiety was hitting you hard today, but that was no excuse for bitching out your girlfriend just for trying to improve your mood. You quickly hearted her message and began typing out a short response, as you knew you needed to apologize in-person for your behaviour.

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To P 💜:

Thank you so much P, I'll see you later tonight baby. I love you too 🤍

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***SMALL TIME SKIP***

You breathed a sigh of relief as you finally reached the floor of Paige's dorm room, exhausted from your long and mentally tiring day of midterms, but you were finally done, your headache was finally gone, and you now had the weekend to relax and spend time with your girlfriend.

As you reached for your keys in your pocket, you heard the loud commotion of voices that you recognized to be KK, Aubrey, Sarah, Allie, and Paige in the living room. It wasn't uncommon for the girls to be over, as the team always spent hung out together outside of practice, and since you started spending more time at Paige's dorm, you had quickly stocked her near bare kitchen full of snacks, baked goods, and home-cooked meals the girls loved to steal.

You entered the living room greeting everyone as you took off your shoes, making a beeline straight to where Paige was sitting on the couch. You stood in between the space of her legs, wrapping your free arm around her shoulders to lean down and plant a kiss on the top of her head.

"Hey P," you spoke softly, looking down at the small smile that had settled on her face.

"Hey yourself, how were you midterms? Today was your last day right?" She questioned as her fingertips began running up and down the back of your legging covered thigh.

"They were fine, I think I did good on majority of them. My math midterm was a little shaky, but not too bad yk?" You answered her quietly, afraid to pop the little bubble of peace you two had created around yourselves among the chaos of the living room's occupants.

"I," you began, as your hand had made its way to the front of her face as you pushed back a small piece of hair that had escaped out of her bun. "Will you come in the room with me real quick?" You asked her, practically whispering at this point.

"Yeah of course baby," she answered quickly, letting her hand travel up your body to rest at the small of your back as she stood up, leading you past everyone to her bedroom.

"We'll be right back," she announced to the group as the two of walked by. "Oooo, Paige is in trouble," KK sang out as the two of you reached her closed room door, Paige still standing behind you. She turned the knob quickly, gently pushing you into the room first as she turned around to stick her tongue out at KK before she closed the door.

By the time she turned around from the door to face you, she barely had a moment to adjust to your body barreling into her, as you had already dropped your bag off next to her desk. She quickly wrapped her arms around you, being able to sense that you just needed to be held for a minute before speaking.

She lightly rubbed your back and shoulders with her hands, knowing exactly what it was that immediately calmed you down. You stayed silent in her comforting embrace for a few more minutes, having craved her touch all day when you were around campus.

"I'm sorry," you finally spoke up, unburying your head from her chest to look her in the eyes. "I was really rude to you for no reason this morning. My headache when I woke up and all the stress I had was completely unrelated to you, but I still ended up taking it out on you," you sighed before continuing, "I really appreciate the fact that you were trying to cheer me up this morning, even though I was being a total bitch. And you are never a burden or someone who adds more onto my plate, I love you and I'm so sorry I said that to you, I would never want you to feel that way and-" as your eyes began to well up with tears, the last of your apology was cut off by Paige.

"Hey hey it's okay baby," she pulled you slightly away from her as the tears began flowing from your eyes. "I know you," she maintained eye contact as she reassured you, "And I know you would never act like that normally, you are not a bitch. You were just stressed out and not feeling well. I understand, and I promise I'm not mad at you at all," her right hand moved up from your back to your face, wiping the tears streaming down your face.

"Thank you P, I have no idea what I would do without you," you sniffled lightly, your hand coming up to wipe your face as well. "I love you so much, you have no idea," you professed.

"I love you too y/n/n," she whispered as her hands wrapping around your waist as she pulled you into her, leaning down slightly to kiss you. Your hands flew up the moment your lips connected, one cradling her jaw while the other rested on the base of her neck. The kiss was slow and languid, an apology met with forgiveness as your lips moved together.

The loud rumbling of your stomach, interrupted your sweet moment with Paige, forcing the two of you to separate as a giggle slipped out of her.

"Didn't realize a small kiss made you that hungry for me," she smiled, now at peace knowing that you were no longer upset. "Shut up," you smiled back, lightly hitting her chest as you broke away from her. "I am for real hungry though, but I need to shower first," you told her as you moved around the room, grabbing your towel and a fresh pair of pajamas to change into.

"I'm pretty sure Aubrey is ordering Domino's so I'll tell her to add in something for you, and it'll probably be here by the time you get out," she kissed your cheek as you went to exit the room, heading for a quick shower as she remained in her room.

***SMALL TIME SKIP***

As you entered the living room, curls freshly washed, a soft pair of Paige's sweatpants resting low on your hips, and a small off the shoulder sweatshirt over your sleep tank top, you witness KK showing her tik tok live her "hips dance", if it could even be referred to as that.

"Oh wow," Paige commented dryly at the sight while getting up from the couch so she could grab her laptop from the kitchen counter. You moved past her to Aubrey's desk, grabbing a piece of garlic knots from the Domino's box she left partially open (i don't think she actually bought any but I'm craving them so i added it in here). You rested your hip against the table, waving at the live while KK queued up Sexyy Red on her Siri.

Everyone knew you and Paige were a couple, when Paige accidentally hard-launched you by posting a cute couples pic on her main instagram story instead of her close friends. But since then, the two of you kept a private but not secret relationship, very occasionally posting together, but fans often saw candids of the two of you on dates or together in the team's lives or other events.

You licked the remaining cheese and butter off your fingers as you watched Paige, KK, and Aubrey dance in front of the camera to "U My Everything", smiling at their so-called dance moves, especially Paige's.

"Man we go together tell them hoes we go together," Paige sang, before doing her little "attitude now walk" move, making you double over with laughter at her with the other two girls.

You scratched the back of your neck as you continued to watch the girls mess around, too tired from your day to join them, but content just from watching them. As the second chorus approached, Paige walked up to your leaned figure on the desk, grabbing your bare waist and pulling you into her as she sang.

"Bae, I love you, you my everything, I'm your main bitch, fuck a wedding ring," you laughed at her awful singing, but you couldn't deny the blush that rose to your cheeks at the thought of her singing you the lyrics while very clearly in the live's frame. "We both in fast cars and we switchin' lanes, when I'm away from you, you always on my brain," she continued, adding in her sassy facial expressions with the corresponding lyrics.

You couldn't help but laugh at her actions, the pure giddiness coursing through your veins was a complete 180 from your mood this morning, and you couldn't help but think there was nowhere that would make you happier than in her arms.

Thank you for reading all the way through! The recent support has been crazy and I appreciate all of you! Should I make a part two to this with smut so r can properly apologize to p.... 😏😏😏

[anundyingfidelity]

DO YOU HATE ME THAT MUCH? — Billy Butcher

Summary: Butcher gives orders for you to stay back from the fight. You hardly comply and prove differently; he starts thinking in a very improper manner about you.

Pairing: Billy Butcher x female!supe reader.

Word count: 2k.

Warnings: smut!! hate sex, unprotected sex, fingering, enemies to fuck buddies, reader can control blood and explode shit (like Victoria Neuman lol), the usual mentions of violence.

Notes: this is a request made by @thatcharmingmushroom for my 400 followers drabbles celebration. I'm sorry I took soooo damn long on this, but I hope you like it and thank you so much for the idea because I had so much fun with it! I picked the Herogasm episode for this tho hehe

☕ if you like my writing support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

taglist is here!

On the hunt for Payback, you made your way to infiltrate Herogasm along with Butcher, Hughie and the new asshole, Soldier Boy, not caring that the British dick ordered you a thousand times to stay back.

For different reasons, you were kind of forced to stay with the team, and while you didn’t really get along with any of them, Butcher was by far the one you hated the most. And, in the end, when Soldier Boy burned the whole place to the ground with a blast and Homelander arrived, you couldn’t stand there doing nothing. While the three men tried to hold down Homelander, you used your blood to create strong whips around his limbs, trying to tie him to the ground as Soldier Boy prepared to blast, yet again.

But just in seconds, Homelander recharged himself and pushed them all aside, cutting your whips, and flashing you quickly with his heat vision before storming out. Your blood blades barely made it to the hole he left in the roof as the supe just disappeared, flying away like a scared bitch.

“Well,” you started after an instant of staying silent. “I guess we fucking failed.”

Butcher shot you a dark glare as he walked straight until he stopped in front of you. “You shouldn’t be here,” he whispered.

You held his eyes as he towered you with his broad figure. He looked even more intimidating now he started playing the supe, injecting himself with Compund V. “I don’t care.”

There was this smug smirk on his face as you talked back. You knew he hated you; you knew you hated him. But as fucking weird your powers were, controling blood and exploding people with their own, Butcher found you interesting and stupidly astonishing. But of course, he wasn’t going to admit it. They were just intrusive thoughts about you and how hot you were, defying his direct orders of strictly not coming to the supe-orgy. Yeah, Homelander was a fucking cunt, and he would take care of Soldier Boy soon too. Right now, he just needed something to take the stress out after another stupid failure. His hand would work later once back at the motel, he decided.

Butcher leaned down, until his lips almost brushed the shell of your ear. “We’ll see about that.”

“Why do I have to keep listening to you?” you asked as Butcher followed back to the motel.

You stopped right out of your door, because of course you weren’t going to share a room with him and the old asshole. Hughie, who went inside their room, was the only decent human being between all of them, but still, you had to take care of yourself from those fuckers. Besides, the British idiot wouldn’t stop the verbal vomiting the whole fucking trip and you were growing sick of it.

“Because, for starters, you’re a fucking newbie here,” Butcher replied, smirking hatefully. “And second, your powers are fucking out of control. You need training and keep your mouth shut.”

You rolled your eyes, showing him your wrists. “I already healed myself from the cuts I made. Perhaps I should use your blood next time?”

“No, there’s no next time for you.”

“You don’t decide that, Butcher,” you crossed your arms over your chest, tired of being treated like a stupid kid. “I’m helping on this, I want him dead. And if any of you idiots don’t kill him, then I will.”

He curved an eyebrow, not showing any signs of being taken aback at your words, but inside, he was just in awe as before. You really hated Homelander as much as he did, however, you didn’t have a fucking plan. You would attack first, ask questions later. In any way, since when could he care about that? He had no idea.

“Hey,” Soldier Boy talked behind Butcher and stepped in closer between both of you. “You fucking stay back from this, you ain’t doing shit with your blood whips.”

Furious, you motioned your hand to draw fresh blood from a wound on his cheek and created a sharp blade, cutting his skin lightly. Soldier Boy clenched his jaw before smirking at you.

“Talk to me like that ever again and I’ll blow your dick, and not the way you like it,” you warned through your teeth.

Soldier Boy wiped the blood off the fresh wound, and smiled anew before patting Butcher on the shoulder. “She’s all yours, pal.”

With that, the old supe disappeared in the next room. You just wanted this to be over, so you turned around to get inside your room, but Butcher wouldn’t leave you alone just yet, putting his foot between the door and the frame, holding it with his super strength.

“What the fuck you want now?!” you yelled at him as he made his way inside, slamming the door closed.

“Imma have to call the fucking CIA if you don’t calm down your ass,” he threatened between his teeth.

“You wouldn’t-”

“I can, and I fucking will,” he insisted, taking slow strides, making you step back from him until your back met the wall.

His eyes were getting dangerously dark and you could smell the sweat and dry blood coming from him. You noticed his pulse was increasing, and you grinned. Your mind jumped to an unsafe place where you probably knew what Butcher was feeling right now. The heat and coming down the high of what could have been the end of both yours and his enemy was too much to burden. Little did he know that you were the kind of person that used to take out the stress with something, or someone. Just like him.

“From one to ten, how much do you hate me?” you asked all of the sudden, looking straight into his eyes.

Butcher’s fierceful gaze turned into confusion. “What?”

“How fucking much do you hate me?” you repeated yourself steadier.

Butcher rolled his eyes before answering in a whisper. “I’d choose a one thousand scale for that.”

“Good, I hate you too,” you replied with a smirk before pulling him for a kiss that turned heated too fast, but you didn’t care.

You needed release. Something quick, hard and hot to take it out of your system. He was perfect for the task, and by the way his tongue tasted your mouth, you found out that he wouldn’t step back. At least you hoped so. The tension between both of you was so damn sharp and it was just a matter of time for that bomb to explode, and you preferred it this way instead of fighting each other to death.

Gripping the neck of his shirt to get even closer as you kissed, Butcher’s hands roamed all over your hips, running on your sides until he met the flesh of your ass on your jeans, pressing you towards his chest. You gasped against his mouth when he started to unzip your pants, you worked immediately on the buttons of his shirt. Desperately, you discharged his shirt, the fabric being followed to his pants, and he undressed you with the same eagerness until you were only panties and bra.

Butcher lifted you up from the ground, hands on your thighs as he guided you to the mattress. He crawled on top of you, spreading your legs with his big, rough hands and leaning down to lick down at your chest and rip your bra off. His action made you gasp out loud at the same time he sucked on a nipple like a starved man.

“You're a fucking beast,” you whimpered, feeling his hands peeling off your panties and leaving you completely exposed at his mercy.

You tugged at his jeans and he pulled them down along with his boxers as quickly as he could, taking out his dick with that smug smile on his stupid face. He noticed your eyes taking the sight of his half nakedness, biting your lip slightly once you focused on his hard cock pressing on your crotch. It only made you wet.

“Well, I plan to fuck you like one,” he said, grabbing the back of your legs and rubbing the tip of his cock against your wet folds.

“Show me, don’t talk- fuck!”

You let out a rather loud moan when he rubbed your clit with his fingers, playing with your entrance until he inserted a single, thick digit in your pussy. Butcher stretched you out with a finger, then slid a second one, scissoring them to reach your deepest spots as your walls clenched around his digits. You kept whimpering and moaning as he increased the thrusts of his hand.

“Bloody fuck, these are the only sounds I like coming from your mouth, luv,” he hissed, sensing that you almost came on his fingers.

Right before you reached your high, he pulled out and you groaned in annoyance, feeling empty once again.

“Shit,” you breathed out.

He positioned between your legs anew, getting comfortable as he started to push his tip against your slit. The grip of his hands on your thighs became a little harsh once he entered you slowly, the thickness of his cock splitting you open.

“What a tight cunt I always knew you’d be,” he grunted, filling you up completely and leaning down to mark your neck with his teeth.

His mouth and thrusts earned him your sweet moans as he fucked you senseless. The burning soon turned into pleasure. Your nails scratched his back while moaning incoherent words. His hands on your thighs would leave marks on your skin, but it felt so damn good. You needed a little bit of pain to remind you that you were alive, rotting for that sweet bliss only sex could give you.

Moans escaped from your throat and mingled with his deep groans and the sound of your skin against his own, the headboard of the bed hitting the wall with every of his hard thrusts. You pulled him down for a wet kiss when you felt closer and closer to come undone.

“Fuck, I’m so close,” you gasped.

Butcher increased the rhythm of his thrusts, his cock throbbing as your walls started to clench around him.

“You’ll be the death of me,” he mumbled against your mouth.

“Do you still hate me?” you asked, trying to catch your breath. You reached down to rub your clit. You were so close, almost there.

“If I keep fucking you like this then I might change my mind- holy fuck!”

In that moment, you came hard with a string of curses and clenching your walls around his cock. The pound of his hips increased and he fucked you through your orgasm to reach his own. You continued rubbing your clit, fingers finding the place where you two connected, meeting his cock coated with your juices when he pulled out just slightly to slam back inside again.

Butcher emptied his cum inside you, mumbling dirty words against your ear. His rhythm slowing down eventually, fucking his seed in your pussy. Once he came down from his high, he pulled out and rolled by your side on the bed. Your body started to ache but in the best way possible. It was the best fuck you had in a long time. After a couple of minutes in complete silence you decided to talk, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“I hope you keep hating on me…”

He turned slightly to see your blank face. “Why?”

“I love hate-fucking.”

He scoffed with a smile curving on his lips. “You bet I enjoyed this too.”

Within a second, you climbed on top of him. Thighs straddling his lap as you rubbed your cunt on his soft cock.

“Second round? You can eat me out and suck your cum out of me,” you gave him a wink, rolling your hips and leaning down for a quick kiss.

“Dirty girl,” Butcher whispered on your lips. “Perhaps put your mouth into good use.”

“I like how that sounds,” you smiled back at him.

Billy Butcher taglist

@delaynew

@thesilmarillionblog

@feyresqueen

@drasticemotions

[formulawolff]

just how things come together, they fall apart - d.r.

pairing: female driver!reader x red bull!daniel ricciardo

word count: 2.5k

warnings: cursing, angst, unresolved romantic and sexual tension, a falling out of a friendship, some banter, the other drivers being little shits (especially kimi), allusions to smut, light alcohol use, "it was always you" trope, yadayadayada

a/n: this is my first time for our ol' boy danny ric! i hope i did a good job with this one! <3 i always love writing angst!

song inspo: friends by chase atlantic

"so this is it?"

"i mean," he won't even look at you, his eyes fixated on the floor, his head dipped low, "i guess so."

your lower lip trembles, fiery, frustrated tears welling up in your eyes, "i don't even know what the fuck i did wrong. i haven't done shit to you and here you are, kicking my ass to the curb."

"oh come on," he groans, bringing a hand to his temple, "you can't even be that upset with me. it's nothing personal. i just need to distance myself from you for a while. maybe forever. i don't know. i just know that i need to do this."

"i would be okay with it if i did something to make you upset with me or hate me," you wipe a tear, careful to not let him see you like this, "but i thought we were good. i guess not."

daniel grimaces, "like i said, it's nothing personal or against you. i think it's best if we're no longer friends."

"right," you nod, sucking in a sharp breath, "got it."

"i'm sorry-" he begins, but you stick up a hand, swiftly interrupting.

"don't even start with that bullshit. don't act like you're sorry just because you feel guilty."

"fine," he exhales, throwing his hands up in the air, "fine! i won't be sorry."

"see you around," you mutter, shaking your head, the tears streaming now, caking your heated cheeks.

storming out of the garage, you keep your head low, the other drivers mingling about, their voices hushed. yet, as they notice you, their attention shifts. sebastian makes his way towards you, concern plastered across his features.

"hey!" he calls, "what the fuck just happened?"

"ask daniel about it," your voice is shaky, "just fucking ask daniel about it."

"hey," arms envelop your frame, bringing you in close, "you can talk about it if you want."

"trouble in paradise?" a voice rumbles.

kimi.

"kimi," sebastian hisses, placing kisses along the crown of your head, "did you guys just fight?"

well, it more than just a little spat.

merely minutes ago, daniel announced that he was no longer interested in a friendship with you. a friendship that had blossomed and developed over the course of two years was gone in an instant, with no explanation why.

your heart felt like it was being torn into shreds, your breathing labored as you sobbed into sebastian's chest, the driver rubbing your back, his chin resting on top of your head.

"did something happen?" another voice cuts in, crisp with that oh so familiar accent.

lewis.

"i think they got into a pretty heated argument," sebastian murmurs, "he's kind of a piece of shit for doing that right before a race."

"what a dickhead," lewis whistles, "do you know what it was about?"

"no idea," sebastian shrugs, still clinging onto you, "she hasn't said much since she left the garage. just told me to ask daniel about it."

"hey," lewis places a tender hand on your shoulder, "you don't need that loser anyway. you have us. we'll be your besties."

"now is not the time," you grumble, "can we just get this fucking race over with?"

"only if you dust his ass," lewis pries you away from sebastian, wrapping you up in his own embrace. he squeezes you gently, "if you manage to get on the podium, will you please fill us in after?"

"so nosy," a giggle manages to bubble up in your throat, "nosy, nosy, lewis. always wanting the gossip."

"you know me," a chuckle vibrates in his chest, "i do love a good gossip session."

thank god for sebastian and lewis. and well, kimi was there too.

as one of the few female drivers in formula one, you were thrust into the oh so competitive world of racing around the 2016 season, right at the time max verstappen started his career. although it was your lifelong dream to drive for red bull, you were offered a seat at mclaren due to jenson button's announcement that he was retiring.

since it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, you decided to take it, accepting the contract offer.

not many women competed in formula one, and you were determined to make the world know your name.

that burning desire to win and your outspoken nature is what initially drew daniel ricciardo in, the red bull driver approaching you one night after qualifying in sochi. he struck up a simple conversation, complimenting your lap and your ability to navigate the track despite some unfavorable weather conditions.

from that moment, the two of you were inseparable, attached at the hip. if you weren't in the red bull paddock between races, he was at mclaren, the team principals grumbling to one another at your tight-knit friendship.

there were tons of sleepless nights where the two of you would lie awake, bodies snuggled together, rambling about everything and anything that came to mind. after the first grand prix where you scored points in 2016, daniel was right there after the race, hugging onto you so tightly, lifting you up in the air and spinning you around.

there were plenty of hungover mornings where he would hold your hair for you as you threw up in the toilet, rubbing your back, encouraging you to let it all out. there were nights where he would need your affection, begging you to come over to his motorhome so that he could fall asleep on your chest, your hand tangled in his curly locks as he dozed off.

sure, there were moments in which it was a little more than just a friendship.

there was the unforgettable night in azerbaijan, where daniel won. that night, you found yourself completely intertwined with the australian driver, skin on skin, his mouth roaming every inch of your body.

that was the first night daniel told you he loved you.

and there was something more than just a platonic sort of love in those words.

something along the lines of romantic love.

the kind where his presence sent your heart fluttering, bliss rippling in your chest the moment he flashed you that beautiful smile, dimples and all.

the kind of love where the moment his eyes met yours, you found yourself spiraling, completely and utterly speechless at the sight of his gorgeous mocha-hued gaze.

the kind of love where his touch sent a shiver down your spine, every movement electric.

there was no denying the feelings you harbored for the red bull driver.

you were in love with him.

completely and hopelessly in love.

and there was no going back, not since that night in azerbaijan.

you were in deep. probably way too deep for a friendship.

there was that minuscule hope that you clung onto nearly every second of every day. the inkling that maybe, just maybe daniel felt the same way.

after all, he had told you he loved you.

more than once.

surely that meant something, right?

the chemistry between the two of you was undeniable, often clouding over like an intense fog. the other drivers on the grid noticed it. your team principals were aware of it. fuck, even the media speculated the two of you were involved romantically, that you had more than just a friendly "buddy-buddy" relationship.

friends didn't fuck, right?

friends didn't snuggle together every night, drifting off together, right?

friends didn't share longing glances in the paddocks, right?

"hmmph," kimi's lip curls in disgust, "look over at the red bull garage."

your head swivels to your right, the blood roaring in your ears as you spot what kimi was referring to.

out of the garage comes daniel, greeting a slim, lithe blonde. he pulls her in for a lengthy embrace, peppering her face with chaste kisses. your palms calm up, your heart thumping against your rib-cage.

daniel's attention hones in on the four of you, the aussie waving a hand over.

"hey guys! come meet my girlfriend, anastasia!"

"you. have. got. to. be. shitting. me," sebastian's eyes widen, his lips parted.

"yeah," lewis runs his tongue along his teeth, placing his hands on his hips, "i'm not participating in any of that fuckery."

yet, you're silent, the tears threatening to spill over once again, your hands trembling.

how the fuck were you expected to race when your entire world was just flipped upside down?

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

all around you, the space is swathed by darkness.

you're buried beneath your blankets, swiping through your camera roll, pressing that fateful icon in the bottom right corner.

dried tears plastered your cheeks, your hair an unkempt mess, sweats clinging to your frame. inside your chest, your heart ached, the pain consuming you whole.

there's nothing but silence, the dull whir of fans merely white noise.

a sharp noise rattles through your motorhome.

the sound of a knock.

three of them, actually.

groaning, you untangle yourself from the blankets, shuffling down the hall to the main room. once you approach the door, you stifle a yawn, swinging it open.

there stands daniel, his hands shoved in his pockets, shifting uneasily.

"hey."

"shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?" there's a venom laced in your tone, oozing with a bitterness as you begin to close the door.

yet, daniel stops you, quickly wedging his foot in, "let me in."

"why should i?" you retort, brows furrowing, "you literally ended our friendship hours ago and now you want inside my home? fuck that. i'm not going to be some little side piece to fill your cravings while your little girlfriend is away. i'm worth more than that."

"can you just let me in for fuck's sakes?" he lets out an exasperated sigh, "i just wanted to make sure you were okay. jesus fucking christ. am i not allowed to do that?"

"i don't know," you shrug, "did you girlfriend give you permission to come by?"

"is that what you're all upset about?"

"no!" you retaliate, "i'm fucking upset because you never mentioned her until now! you never once said to me, 'hey, i'm dating this girl named anastasia. she's pretty neat! how about you meet her sometime?' fuck, daniel. you know i'm in love with you for fuck's sakes. you should know how much this fucking hurts me!"

as you finish, your knees buckle, wails rising in your throat. daniel swallows a lump in his throat, taking a step forward.

"why do you think i ended our friendship today? i couldn't bear the thought of you having to see me with her."

"you told me you loved me," you sob, shoulders shaking, "you fucking tell me you love me all of the time. i thought that-"

that's when his arms nearly crush you, squeezing you against his chest. he holds you for a moment, murmuring words you can't quite decipher.

"i'm sorry. i'm so fucking sorry."

"i don't know if that's going to fix everything," you mumble, sniffling, "apparently to you, words only mean so much."

"i thought that pushing you away would fix everything. that it would make my life easier. that i wouldn't have to worry about hurting anyone in the long run. i know i was wrong for that, and i'm so sorry."

his hand glides along your back, going in soothing, slow circular motions. you can't help but nuzzle into the fabric of his crewneck, inhaling his oh so familiar cologne.

as much as your head was screaming at you to push him out of your doorway, to tell him to leave and never come back, your heart yearned.

it yearned for him. his touch. his presence. the sound of his voice.

it craved him, fluttering as his mouth connects with your temple, pressing tender kisses down to your cheekbone.

"obviously i can't stay away," his voice is barely audible, "you just do something to me."

"and what's that?" you tilt your head upward, meeting his gaze.

"you make me weak. i only pushed you away because i thought that was the solution to the way i felt. if you were out of the picture, i wouldn't end up getting hurt. now look at both of us, nearly in tears and utterly heartbroken."

his fingers caress your cheek, tracing along your cheekbone as your lashes flutter, savoring the touch, "why didn't you just talk to me first about things? why did you think that getting a new girlfriend was the answer?"

"you know how i am about expressing how i feel. and i don't know, i thought it would fix temporarily fix things."

"i think it ended up fucking you over even more than you thought," you brush a curl out of his face, careful to not let him too close.

"you're right, per usual. what do you want me to do then? break up with her?"

"well you love me," you counter, pursing your lips, "don't deny it either, daniel. we both know you do."

he leans in, the corners of his lips curling into a giddy grin, "i wasn't saying i didn't love you."

"if you loved me you'd end things with her."

"if i did that, you would have to promise me one thing," his mouth hovers above yours, the tension accumulating by the second.

"and that is?" you arch a brow.

"you would never let sebastian hug you like that ever again."

"oh? did that get you a little riled up all the way over in the garage?"

daniel rolls his eyes, scoffing, "how did you think it was going to make me feel?"

"okay fine," you tut, pressing a finger to his lips, "i'm not going to kiss you until you end things with anastasia. get that phone out of your pocket right now and call her. let her down gently, though. she seemed sweet."

"surely not as sweet as you though," he teases, yet fumbles with his pocket, fishing out his phone.

as he steps away for a moment, bringing the phone to his ear, you tap your foot against the concrete, pointing to your wrist. daniel shakes his head, putting a finger up as if to say, one more second.

the call doesn't even last two minutes, the austrailian making his way back to you.

before you know it, his mouth is on yours, an open-mouthed kiss brimmed with a needy passion. your head rolls back, granting him more access and his hands grip your waist, one sliding further and further down as the kisses intensify, cupping the curve of your ass.

he pulls away, breathless.

"i love you. i love you. i love you. it's always been you, and it's always going to be you. i'm sorry i'm such a dumbass and can't navigate my feelings."

"you know you can talk to me about things, right?" you suppress a giggle, "you don't have to ruin a friendship over it."

"well i didn't quite ruin it," he leans in once more.

"oh yeah? how do you know that?"

"because you're still in love with me. and you're going to be my girlfriend in no time."

[sunflowerrosewood]

Falling Asleep on Them During a Movie HC ~ Stray Kids

Author's Note: Since my other account @cheekyredwillow got deleted. I am adding some of my favorite fanfictions to this account and revamping this one with new ones. I hope to make an actual list of fandoms I am still a fan of! NO requests for the time being.

Warnings: maybe swearing but nothing major. Ends with something they say when they realize you fell asleep on them.

~~~

Bang Chan

You and Chris decided to have a movie night after he had been working so hard for the past 3 nights for the next single. The 3racha were working so hard and you dropped by with snacks and support for them.

To celebrate the single dropping and Chris's hardwork, you two decided to have a date in. A movie night with popcorn and sweets. You two had been wanting to see a new action movie that came out and it hit streaming devices a day ago.

So you two had set up the movie and the popcorn. You two munched away on the popcorn and wondered where the movie would go next. But after an hour in, you began to feel sleepy. Maybe it was due to work or staying up late these past nights but you were tired.

Chris noticed your body get heavy against him and looked down. He saw you sleeping softly. He smiled to himself.

"Goodnight my sweet Y/n. I'm so thankful you love me through everything. I hope to continue to grow into myself with you by my side." Chris said softly before kissing your temple.

Lee Know

You and Minho got along to a certain degree. You two weren't best friends like you were with Jisung and Changbin. But you two did like to be around each other.

What you did not know was that Minho has been harboring a crush on you for months. The whole group teased him about his crush because he would relax around you. The teasing was usually incessant.

You were invited over for a movie night with the boys. You were excited and ready to watch the newest action movie with them. The boys were already sitting by the TV when you arrived which left one spot by Minho. You felt your heart skip a beat as you did find Minho the most attractive from the group.

"Oops Y/n. You'll have to sit with Minho." Jisung said in a sing-song voice.

"I don't mind." You said as Minho looked up at you and smiled a little.

You sat down beside him and Chris started the movie. You didn't realize you had leaned into Minho as the movie started but he did. His heart skipped a beat.

The action movie finished and another movie started. About an hour in, you felt sleepy and felt yourself nodding off. You fell asleep against a warm chest.

Minho noticed you fell asleep during the second movie and chuckled. He wrapped his arm around you and whispered to Chris.

"Hand me a blanket." He whispered as Chris smiled and handed him one.

The others were too busy watching the movie as Minho wrapped you in a blanket.

"When you wake up, I promise to take you on a date. You are so wonderful Y/n. I don't want to lose you." Minho said softly.

Changbin

You and Changbin have been best friends for a few years now. You have harbored a crush on him for a year now. You were excited that he invited you to a movie night for the two of you. What you did not know was that he was planning on asking you out before the movies to turn the movie night to a date.

You arrived and Changbin had boxes of pizza waiting. You ran in and hugged him.

"I'm so excited for our movie night." You said as he chuckled.

"I have a quick question before we begin." Changbin said as you looked up.

"Are you okay?"

"I am! Y/n I was wondering if we could go out with one another? Like a relationship?"

"I-I would l-love to." You stuttered and Changbin kissed your cheek.

"I'm glad to hear that. Let's make this our first date."

Both of you excited that the movie night turned into a date night, you two curled up with one another. You two ate some pizza and started a comedy movie.

After many laughs and multiple movies, you two were on the third movie. After being full from pizza and happiness, you felt tired and fell asleep on Changbin's shoulder. Changbin threw a blanket around the two of you and hugged you closer.

"I'm so glad you accepted to go out with me. I cannot wait to take you on more dates. I have loved you since we first met. I'll prove this to you." He whispered before curling around you.

Hyunjin

You had just gotten over a cold and were seeing Hyunjin after a week of not seeing each other. You two were excited and Hyunjin got some of your favorite foods. You arrived at his place and Hyunjin immediately let you in. You noticed a new art piece by the door. It was a painting of your first date.

"Awe Hyunjin I love this." you said as Hyunjin hugged you from behind.

"I love this too Y/n. Ready for us to hang out?" He asked.

You two walked into his apartment and you saw a counter full of your favorite foods. The two of you made plates of food and ate. While eating, you two caught up after not seeing eachother. Hyunjin talked about rehearsal and you discussed what you did while you recovered. Then Hyunjin played some music. The two of you danced for a little bit before you two decided to watch a movie.

The movie had only played for 30 minutes when you began to get tired. You were still recovering and got tired easily. You fell asleep against Hyunjin's shoulder. After about 10 minutes, Hyunjin looked down and noticed you.

"Oh Y/n. I'm so sorry. I hope I didn't push you. Sleep now and rest. I want you to be your best. I love you so much." Hyunjin whispered and held you closer.

Han

You and Jisung have been dancing around each other's feelings for a while now. It has gotten on the rest of the other's nerves because you two would be cute together. Chris and Changbin decided to set up a movie night and to invite you two. A 3racha and you movie night that will end up a Jisung and Y/n movie night.

When you came over, you were excited to see the 3racha but more excited to see Jisung. You fell for him the day you two met but you were not sure if he felt the same. So you've kept it secret except with Felix and Seugmin.

To your surprise, you saw Jisung when you arrived but none of the other 3racha.

"Jisung where's the others?" You asked as he chuckled.

"Both of them had something to finish at the studio so they asked me to come home. They said for us to start the movies."

"O-Oh okay! Sure let's start!" You took a seat beside him.

As the movie started, you felt Jisung begin to lean. He shyly wrapped his arm around you.

"Is that okay?" Jisung asked as you nodded your head. "Y/n can I say something?"

"Sure!"

"Y/n, I have fallen for you since we first met and I really want to go on a date with you. Would you want to go on a date this weekend?" He asked.

"I w-would love to! I have fallen for you since we first met too." You said as Jisung immediately hugged you. You two looked at each other and leaned in. You two shared a soft kiss and both of you had a faint blush on your cheeks.

You two continued to watch the movie and you felt a lot more calm. You yawned and fell asleep against him. Jisung smiled at you and rubbed your arm softly.

"I'm so glad you said yes to me. I cannot wait to take you on this date and show you the best time. I love you so much Y/n." He whispered.

Felix

Your boyfriend Felix was coming home with the rest of the group today. They had a tour in Europe and were returning home. You spent the morning and afternoon setting up for his return. You cleaned the apartment and cooked his favorite meals before heading to the airport.

When you arrived at the airport, you saw them arriving. Your eyes met Felix's and you waved. A smile shined on his face as he saw you. As they made it through, Felix ran up and hugged you. The two of you shared a needed kiss.

"I'm ready to go home Y/n. I'm so happy to see you." Felix said softly.

"Let's go home." You said as you two headed back.

As you two arrived at home, you helped Felix get his luggage. You two walked in and Felix's eyes widened.

"Y/n! You didn't have to."

"Of course! I wanted to surprise you with your favorite food." You said as Felix went over to get a plate of food.

The two of you ate some food and Felix told you about his tour in Europe. You listened and asked some questions as you were interested in Europe. He loved telling you how the fans were excited to see them. As you two finished up, both of you cleaned dishes and put away leftovers.

"Want to watch a movie?" Felix asked as you nodded your head.

Felix turned on the TV and went into your watchlist to pick a move you two wanted to see. You both curled up on the couch with a blanket and let the movie roll.

As the movie ended, Felix noticed a weight by his side. You had fallen asleep on him and had your hand bunched in his clothes to hold him close.

"I'm so glad to be home with you Y/n. Thank you for doing so much. I love you my dear." Felix whispered and kissed your temple before he started to fall asleep too.

Seugmin

You and Seugmin are dating and have been for a couple of months. You two were having your first at home date. He mentioned seeing a new movie on a streaming platform and invited you over.

When you arrived and Seugmin let you in, you noticed he seemed down. He was not his chipper self from earlier.

"Is everything okay honey?" You asked.

"Not really. I got a couple of hate comments and they got to me before you arrived. I'm sorry." Seugmin said softly.

"It's okay. I'll be by your side. No matter what they said, you are my handsome and amazing boyfriend. I love you so much. I wish I could show you in more ways." You said and held your hands out.

Seugmin immediately hugged you tightly and rubbed your back. You rubbed his back soothingly. After a couple of minutes, Seugmin pulled you to the couch and turned on the movie.

You two sat down on the couch and Seugmin pulled the blanket around you two. You laid your head on his chest. As the movie began to play, you felt Seugmin rubbing your arm. It started to put you asleep. Soon enough, you were out.

Seugmin looked down and smiled to himself. He kissed the top of your head.

"I'm so glad you've been by my side. Even through my insecurities you stay. I love you so much Y/n. Thank you so much. I love you." He whispered.

Jeongin

You and Jeongin were excited to have a movie night in. He was working hard learning the new music and they gave them a break. When Jeongin came home, you ran up to him and threw your arms around him. You hugged him tightly.

"I'm so happy you get to relax and we can be together." You said as Jeongin chuckled.

"I'm excited too."

You two ordered in your favorite restaurant and waited for the food to arrive. It was the perfect food to watch movies to. Once the food arrived, you set the food around the couch. Jeongin set up the movie. You two began to eat and watch the first movie of the night.

"This was a good idea to order in. I was so tired from practice today." Jeongin explained.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it!" You said.

From comedy to romance to action, you watched many movies. It was the 5th movie when you began to feel sleepy. You laid your head on Jeongin's shoulders and fell asleep. Jeongin noticed a little while later and chuckled. He laid his head on top of yours.

"Goodnight Y/n. I have been so busy recently yet you've been so caring. You've been patient. I love you Y/n. This break will be for us." Jeongin whispered and started to fall asleep too.

[opiumsturn]

My girl..

C.STURNIOLO

EXTREME WARNINGS IN THIS STORY!-Rape,sexual assault,abuse,angst,sexual abuse,// Fluff,caring!Chris,sad ass story

THE RAPE IS WRITTEN IN AROUND MEDIUM DETAIL.

IF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING^ ABOVE BOTHER YOU PLEASE LEAVE NOW. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO READ-LOVE NAZ /OPIUMSTURN

I'm at a party with my boyfriend Chris and his brothers.

Everything was going good so far. My friends and I dancing and having drinks every now, and then. I spot Chris sitting down near by the bar, and i decide to walk up to him.

"Hey baby" i say in his ear so he can hear me over the music. "Hey sweetheart whats up?" He asks holding my waist from his lower position "Nothing, 'm just gonna go to the bathroom real quick i'll be back okay?" I tell him holding his arms that reach to me. He nods in approval as i walk upstairs to the bathroom to fix my makeup and hair.

"Hey." A man with dark brown hair who was wearing black jeans and a black leather jacket says to me holding my wrist. I try to move from his grip before he looks around and covers my mouth with his hand before moving me to a room near by. All my screams were muffled and no one could hear me and no one was around.

He throws me on the floor and no matter how loud i screamed no one could hear me. The music was loud nd wouldn't silence for a second. The man walks up to me on the ground picking me up by my wrist as i cry in fear. "LET GO OF ME!" I scream at him but all he does is slap my face. i took me a second to process what he had just done. My face was stinging as my sobs fell down my now red cheeks.

The man lifts me and starts to touch all on me in places that he shouldn't be. Telling me to shush, looking me up, and down biting his lip. All of it making me uncomfortable and wanting to scream but there was no use.

"I want you to take this off." He says moving his hands up and down my dress. I nod no shaking heavily from how scared i was. I didnt want to believe that i was about to get raped.

This was one of my biggest fears ever, I even would get Chris or someone to go with me everywhere even when i need to use the bathroom in public i ask Chris to walk me there or when i go to stores i ask someone to go with me in fears of this happening. Never did i expect it to happen in a place full of people like this. I start to ask myself why i didnt ask Chris to come with me.

I snap out of my thoughts once i see this man start to pull my dress down as i beg him to stop. "STOP, NO,NO STOP" I sob out causing my make up to go down my face. My dress was fully off of me and so were my heels im left in only my underwear as i use my hands to cover my exposed skin.

"Don't cover yourse-" "NO STOP LEAVE ME ALONE." I sob. Nothing worked. The man starts to unbuckle his belt and pants pulling them down to pool around his ankles. My eyes widen in shock as to what he was about to do me. He starts to kiss my neck and tried leaving hickeys but i kept moving around.

He constantly would hit me when i moved but i didnt want him on me after this or ever. He trailed down to my lower stomach pulling my panties down and kissing above my clit. I wanted to scream but nothing would come out.

The man moves me to my knees and pins my moving and shaking hands above me with his hands. He moves himself closer and closer to me making me come in contact with his dick. I move my head farther away from him trying to avoid it but it wouldnt work.

He lets go of my wrists and grabs my head moving me and sliding his dick to my lips. "Come on put those pretty lips to work hm?" The man says. All i could mumble was 'mm m' and nod no before he smacks my face causing my mouth to open from the pain and my crying. He takes this opportunity and slides his dick in side my mouth.

He started moving his hips but my smartest idea was to bite it. I bit down causing his to scream and pull out. "OW FUCK!" He yells. Instead of smacking me he punches me. Right after he picks me up and throws me on the bed and opens my legs slamming into me.

and all was left was my sobs and screams.

A few minutes had passed. The man pulls his pants back up and walks out the room shutting the door behind him leaving me fully naked on the bed. Im still crying my legs were shaking and i couldnt walk from how scared i was. I tried to get up from the bed but fell to my knees. I look around for my small purse on the ground.

I see the bag and grab it shakily unzipping it, and grabbing my phone. I could barely unlock it from how bad i was shaking but i managed to text chris considering it would he impossible for me to speak or for him to even hear me from the music.

My Baby💕

me-Chris pkease hejlp

My Baby- what? whats wrong y/n?

me-Come to the rroom uostaies niw plleassse.

read

A few seconds later Chris walks in the room looking around til he sees me on the ground. "Y/N!?" He yells shutting the door behind him and runs to me worried. "Sweetheart what happened!?" He says trying to sound as calm as possible for me, But all i could do was fall in his arms and cry.

"C'mon baby talk to me please." He begs me. "I-W-was r-raped" i sobbed out. "BY WHO?" he asks angrily. "I-I- dont K-know" i cry. Chris picks me up from the floor and sits me on the bed collecting my clothes from the floor and dressing me back up again, and put his jacket over me. While doing so he had texted who i assumed was nick and matt since they shortly after walked in.

"What happened to her?" Nick and Matt ask. "i'll explain later matt start the car and we're leaving this fucking place." Chris says as nick and matt look at each other in fear and head away to what Chris said to do.

Chris picks me up bridal style following Where Matt and Nick went to go outside. Everyones eyes were on me, my face all stained with make up and tears.

Walking out the door Chris see's Their car right by the house and runs to the car putting me down on his lap as he sits down. Nick and Matt look scared for their lives looking at how bad in shape i was.

"Chris what happened to her?" Matt asks softly with a mix of concern in his voice. "Matt, she was raped okay.." Chris says almost whispering while rubbing my head. Every few minutes he would check on me to make sure im okay.

MINI TIME SKIP

We get to the house and chris almost leaps out of the car before it even comes to a complete stop taking me inside the house and into his room setting me on his bed.

"Princess i'm gonna need you to tell me where he touched you and what he did to you okay?" He says so sotfly as if his voice could break me. "He- uh- he had made me- suc-k it a-and he put it i-in me.." i say between sobs and sniffles. "I swear to god if i find out who he is i'll kill the motherfucker" He said with slight aggression in his tone.

"Okay baby i need to take this off, 'kay? Im gonna run you a bath sweetheart." He says tugging at the bottom of my dress. I nod yes for him to take it off as he slowly removes my clothing and my jewlery.

He picks me up same way he had earlier taking me to the bathroom sitting me on his sink counter turning on the water for the bath to fill up. "Warm water baby?" He says looking back at me. I nod yes picking at the skin of my nails.

Chris turns to me while the bath fills up holding me by the sides of my thigh looking at my face seeing my bruises now that we're in bright light. "Did he fucking hurt you.." Chris asks watching me nod yes. "Oh baby.." he says caressing my face with his thumb.

The bath had filled up by now. Chris picked me up and put me in the water checking on me making sure i was okay before walking to his room and check the drawer where i keep my make-up at his house grabbing the makeup wipes and walking back inside the bathroom.

" 'M gonna clean your make up off ma okay?" He says to me. I nod at him as he walks to the side edge of the bathtub taking a make-up wipe and wiping my face so lightly like i could break if he applied anymore pressure.

MINI TIMESKIP

About and hour went by and Chris had stayed by my side the whole time talking to me and reassuring me i would be okay and that we would get through this together.

I got out the bath and chris had helped dry me off and dressed me in panties and a hoodie before getting into bed and laying me on top of him. "Chris.. 'm s-sorry please dont leave" I whisper. "What baby? no dont be sorry! its not your fault Y/n I promise and i wont leave you ever." He says before we both fall asleep in each others arms.

𝖆/𝖓- This was alotttt!!! Sorry that this was delayed so much im sorry guys!

𝖕𝖊𝖔𝖕𝖑𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖆𝖘𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖙𝖔 𝖇𝖊 𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉!-

@lovesturni0l0s @caydennnnnnn @oliviasturniolo21 @bernardsbendystraws @chrissidepiece @babyalliah-777 @sturns333 @ksturniolo7 @satvisfavetoodles @nyktoxs-lover

[papayatori]

Matcha Green

Oneshot! x fem!reader Okkotsu Yuta tw: angst, mentions of mental abuse, parental toxicity, fluff

Yuta was my best friend. He never failed to be there when I needed him, especially right now.

I was sitting on his couch, pouring my poor soul out to him. Did I feel guilty? Immensely, but he would never show it if it bothered him.

His hand rubbed my back gently, comforting me as I cried. I wasn't sure why life had decided to kick my ass specifically today, but, it wasn't like I could change the events of the past.

"You're gonna be okay, I'm right here." He whispered gently, not even bothering to ask me why I was crying like this, of why I had brought my suitcase. I nodded at him, leaning on his shoulder for support.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered in between my sobs. I shook, not knowing what else to say, what else to do. He shook his head directly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for.." He whispered back. "..though, if I may ask, what happened?" His voice was laced with concern, and I felt stupid for not mentioning it before, but I just couldn't.

My parents had kicked me out of the house, well, they hadn't really done that, more like packed my bags for me and left them outside. It was so sudden I didn't even know what to do, or even where to go. My parents had never been great to me, but they had never done anything physical, or anything as drastic as this. "I'm not even really sure myself, if I'm being honest." I mumbled, crying easing up a little. He waited for me to continue, gazing down at me. "They kicked me out, Yu.." I whispered, not looking him in the eyes. I saw his expression change from that of shock and disbelief to an angry look rather quickly.

"What?" He said, his jaw slightly locked. I shook my head, willing him not to be angry. I wrapped my arms around him, tucking my head into his chest.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I mumbled, squeezing tightly. He shifted to make me more comfortable, his arm wrapping around me completely.

"You can stay here with me if you're comfortable with that.." He mumbled, still angry. "I've got the spare down the hallway, it's not like you don't practically live here anyways." He chuckled slightly.

Sadly, I couldn't argue. I stayed here a lot to avoid my parents when they got angry or upset with me. Most of the time, they wouldn't even give me a reason, and if they did, it was over little things.

"Thank you, Yu." I mumbled, my grip tightening on the fabric of his shirt. I could feel his eyes on me without having to look. I couldn't help but feel the flutter of my heart, no matter how much I wanted to deny it.

"Do you have your things? All of them?" He asked. That was a question I didn't really know the answer to.

"Not sure.. I have some of them, but I didn't pack them. When I got home from work I found my things in the yard, the rest of them are in the car.." I mumbled. If he wasn't angry before, he most definitely was now.

"And they didn't explain *anything*?" He asked, his muscles tensing slightly. I shook my head.

"You know my parents, Yu. They never do." He shook his head to my statement, disappointed. "Besides, I don't want to go back." I mumbled, a little defeated. His gaze softened with his touch, rubbing circles on my arm slightly.

"I can't say as I blame you." He said with a chuckle. "Either way, its safer for you here regardless."

"As sad as it is, you're right." I let out a large sigh. I was honestly just exhausted.

"You hungry?" He asked, doing his best to lighten the mood again. I looked up at him, a small smile on my face.

"Always." He chuckled at me slightly, I felt the rumble in his chest as he did so. My cheeks heated significantly.

He stood, and I felt the cool air surround me where his body had once been. I felt the pang of disappointment as he walked into the kitchen. I stood, following him.

"I wasn't planning on having anyone else to share this with, so I think it's a good thing I bought extra." He stated, holding up a few packs of ramen. I was practically drooling.

"Couldn't be more thankful." I said, my eyes wide with anticipation. "I haven't eaten anything today." His eyes looked at me with a concerned look at first, but didn't refute. Instead, he chuckled lightly.

"You can't keep doing that, y/n." He looked at me, a glint of worry in his eyes that was masked by his smile. I nodded.

"I know, I know." I said, crossing my arms a little and looking down at the floor.

The water had started boiling, I could see the steam rising as he stood over the stove, stealing glances at me occasionally as I sat on a stool at the island. He was whistling to himself, keeping himself busy. I couldn't help but find it cute, though I would never tell him that. I suppose he felt my gaze, because he looked back at me with a small smirk on his face.

"Something tells me you're not staring at me like that because of the ramen." He joked, laughing softly. I averted my gaze, pouting a little that I had been caught. My face turned a dark red.

"Who said I was staring?" I mumbled. He laughed again.

"The way you're acting tells me that you were, even if you deny it." I glared at him playfully. His hands went up playfully in surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry." We both giggled a little then, enjoying whatever it was we were doing. Though, this didn't feel like a normal conversation we would usually have. The growing silence felt tense, and I found myself nervous and uneasy.

He handed me a bowl of the ramen that he had so generously decided to share with me.

"Thanks, Yu." I mumbled, digging in without any warning. He chuckled from beside me.

"Slow down, you're going to burn yourself." He chuckled, smirking at me slightly as he ate his own. I groaned in acceptance.

We ate quietly, just sort of enjoying the company of the other. I missed this feeling. I loved how carefree I felt here with him, how I didn't have to hide my emotions or feel like I was walking on eggshells constantly. That was something the sanctity of my *own* home couldn't even provide, though I suppose I couldn't call it *my* home anymore, could I? I shook my head softly.

"It's odd to think that I'm happier here with you than I was in the one place that was suppose to be my comfort." I mumbled, eyeing him cautiously. He smiled.

"I'm not sure if I'm happy to hear that, or mildly concerned." He chuckled a bit, reaching over to squeeze my shoulder slightly. I tiled my head to lean on his hand. "I guess I'm happy to be the one to give that to you.."

"You're always so kind, Yuta." I mumbled, thinking a little bit. A thought came to my mind. "Matcha." I said excitedly, snapping my fingers a little and looking over at his confused expression.

"What?" He smiled a little, amused.

"You know how, when you sit down in a coffee shop, with a warm cup of matcha, you feel at ease? Sort of like comforted simply because of the warm vibes, the comforting and homey green color of the matcha setting the tone. I don't think I've *ever* been sad when I drink matcha..." I rambled a little. He nodded, still confused.

"Sure, but, where are you going with this?" I giggled at his confused expression.

"That's sort of how I feel about you, too. You always manage to make me smile, to comfort me, even in times like this." His expression softened as he took his hand in mine.

"That's what I'm here for." He mumbled, his face tinting a soft shade of pink that matched my own. "What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't give that to you?" He said.

"A pretty shitty one, but that's why you're not shitty." I giggled a little, squeezing his hand. I felt myself lean forward a little bit, instinctively. He was doing the same, and my heart was beating a little rapidly.

"Well, I'm definitely not shitty. Especially not with you complimenting me so much." He chuckled. He placed a gently kiss on my forehead, sending me in to shock as he stood and grabbed both of our bowls, carrying them to the sink the rinse them lightly. I was left dumbfounded. He turned around slightly, a smirk on his face.

"Too much?" He asked, too confidently. I shook my head vigorously, not being able to form sentences. He chuckled lightly, drying his hands off. I caught his gaze again as he walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my seated position. I was a flustered mess, though I still let my head fall to his chest. He took a deep breath, rubbing circles on my arms.

"This is either going to ruin everything, or makes this situation a hell of a lot easier." He mumbled, sitting his chin on top of my head. I looked up at him questioningly, feeling my heart beat rapidly in my chest as I urged him to continue. "Have you ever wondered *why* I'm like this with you?" I pondered for a second, not ever really being aware of the thought ever crossing my mind.

"Not really, I just sort of took it and ran with it." I said honestly. He squeezed my arm.

"My feelings for you won't allow me to be anything else with you." He mumbled softly, kissing the top of my head so gently it set my heart ablaze. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, terrified of where this was going, but excited. I couldn't deny the fluttering of my chest. "I like you, you know? I was wondering when you'd catch on."

My eyes widened, and I pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes, making sure he was serious. He smiled down at me, a little bit of uneasiness in his expression lingered the longer I chose not to speak. I took a breath.

"I don't think I ever would have had you not said anything…” I mumbled. Though, I smiled big at him. “But at least I know now that the feeling is mutual..” I heard him release a breath he was holding in.

“I think I might’ve had a heart attack had you said anything other than that…” he whispered, his eyes distant as a small smile crept onto his features. I giggled a little bit, feeling better already. “..but, with that out of the way… do you think you would be ready for something?” He asked kindly, reaching his hand to gently hold my cheek. I blushed furiously. “You know, with me?” He asked anxiously.

I grinned wide, already knowing my answer.

“I would be a fool to say no to that cute smile…” I said, reaching up to touch his face. He leaned into my touch, smiling bigger.

Without another warning, his hand gently pulled my chin up to meet his lips. His kiss was gentle, soft, and welcoming. I giggled into it, knowing I would never be able to be as happy without him.

He pulled back, staring down into my eyes with a giddy glint in his own.

“Now that that’s out of the way, how about some Matcha?”

[usa2024election]

This is why I sound like some centrist idiot a lot of the time. Blue MAGA, I think one person said. And they were nice about it! But I am just so damn worried for the multitudes of people out there are extreme risk from Trump and his cult. I fit a few boxes myself. But I have the virtue of being able to hide them if I so choose.

So I'm using my privilege to advocate for a man I wish would come over much further to the left. A problematic but more good than bad guy. He's a little too old, a little too center for me. But he's a decent person fighting the good fight against our true enemies; Cult 45 and the MAGAt morons.

So I'll suck it up and keep preaching and hoping I can reach a couple of you. I know it's probably unlikely. This is Tumblr. Not many minds aren't already made up! But if I do nothing, I'll feel worse.

[vuetyris]

Jade Shadows related thoughts tm

For context; fandom active since 2016, with various hc & fics

I record all my first runs in case I miss anything or need to refamiliarize myself, but in brief I like it for what it is. Would've liked a more direct content warning than just 'motherhood' which can include a VARIETY of things.

But especially as someone critical on DE's tendency with smaller stories (and hoping between mediums of story telling), I went in with no expectations besides it being Stalker related. That whatever happens doesn't conflict with personal hcs, they can split off etc, and did not share an expectation that it'd be lgbt+ rep JUST off the expectation of it being released during pride month. Feels unhealthy to go into it expecting a certain outcome from a big company's story telling, especially on the premise of release timing. Just icing on the cake if it is :)

Historically DE has issue with smaller scale stories; they have high ambitions and not a lot of restrictions where they put their resources. From the Simaris Scans, the Prime logs, the various scanning stories, EVEN NIGHTWAVE, which has only to date had three story sets. There's a lot of crumbs of their ideas that don't work or aren't able to work on in a constant rhythm. So not just tooting my horn that "DE is trying their best with what they got", they fumble constantly, and their limits just happen to only be "what resources (money, time, and people) do we have".

I still remember them wanting to do Railjack and TNW all in ONE PACKAGE, in ONE UPDATE, before the pandemic kicked them in the ass.

Again before tangent of historic context; I liked Jade Shadows for what it was, a brief three mission jaunt around as the Stalker. Whom for all intensive purpose of the story is not shown to be very caring of others, and in context at the point out for the tenno for the slaughter. Jade gives context for why Stalker is like that TM; Stalker is selfish, self-serving, unwilling to ask for help, and the only person that spoke up was the Old War Relic that fed his daughter to the Orokin and did nothing to stop his son from succumbing to the same fate by the same man.

Hunhow and Stalker both have issues and it kinda feeds off one another, and Jade didn't deserve the double-wammy. Its a dark story brought of the world ruined by the Orokin and their colonizing empire that ripped up ever resource they could before setting the Sentients out whom they built to be rued of their reproduction if they traveled back through the void. Body autonomy and societal abuses has been a constant theme throughout warframe, and that means sometimes its uncomfortable! That's good! Fiction is a tool to analyze the uncomfortable spaces in a safe manner, and allow the viewer to step away if they need to.

Was it done well? No, it has room for improvement, it could've involved Jade more as an active role instead of just relegated to Stalker's manpain, but its done better than other media who sole purpose from the get-go is some dude's mainpain. Relegated to the end was that Jade and Sorren were both seemingly glad for it, but there was a hesitancy alike to Dagath's situation. It wasn't socially -allowed-, and may or may not be in relation to why they were both transformed to warframes. And may be what was referred to before of Stalker being a 'low guardian'. We may not, or may never, know his mental state at the time, but the weight of the Orokin empire still hung over him as the system changed.

I wish there was more of Jade than just having her laying there as a story piece honestly :( More of her relation to Sorren, why she still stayed with him, more than just as a vessel for the story, you know, give more oofm to the ending of her becoming one of the jade light and a techno-organic baby left in her wake. Her relation to Stalker after the war where she had to save his ass from a default Excalibur. But we didn't and I'm sad. :(

AS FOR the labor section; preempting with how operator got wrapped up in the situation by Stalker coming in and demanding help by the end of his scythe; the circumstances forced to comply just like how the Orokin would do before with others. Stalker is just the same as the 'golden lords', replicating the same cycle of abuse that society saw as normal.

Did I like the thought of teenage character being subjected to the outcome of the events of: society defying pregnancy -> body transformed to a low guardian as punishment -> (potential implications of depending on an abusive system for support, akin to military service to access health care and financial support where if you did not engage you aren't allowed to access) -> Death of the terrible system of oppressive and colonial Orokin empire -> Unwilling to change for the changing society, and unwilling to engage with other victims of the same exact system -> Prolonged inaccessibility to the necessary care to survive a difficult pregnancy until the very last moment?

No; I would've preferred the Drifter if it had to be engaged with, at least in the touchy aspect of child/teenager + pregnancy/labor. It at LEAST has the detachment that they're not actively going through it, it doesn't come with the specific body-autonomy horror of carrying another life to term - which is something I would've preferred more.

BUT CONSIDERING, how within USAmerica legislators have been stripping that same body autonomy from afab people, allowing far worse to happen than just "press button to go into labor" its good to have such difficult topics handled! Because shaming it, disallowing conversations around it, or even shaming the 'thought' around even the briefest of acknowledgement, is no better than the pro/anti fandom bullshit that are two extremes of tolerance or intolerance.

As a story beat it stripped both the player and the operator of body autonomy for that ONE moment; an operator that had put a brief trust in helping the Stalker, to help a warframe with an affliction they had no idea of going in.

And, said as personally, as uncomfortable as it may be, it also speaks into the moment of an adult coercion of a child or teenager. He walks in and asks for help with a scythe aimed at the person they ask for help, it's not a plea, its a demand, to which the details are never discussed. Especially under a guise of 'don't want to say no' isn't easy to get across in a quick way within dialogue, so they leave it to interruption. And so has to go along with it, no matter what happens, and it just end with an astral projection event of the results of such a predicament.

It's a dense cluster of subject matter that is hard to get across, and if it resonates or not, tasteful or not, its handled in a delicate way that other media would just fuck up with majorly.

I'm not touching the fandom built expectation that i'd be yoai. That's on ya'll getting riled up after witw and wanting token instead of what warframe has already been doing. LGBT+ as people instead of tallies.

[khaire-traveler]

They say we are all born with a fire inside of us - a flame that burns brightly with a passion for life. They say that this flame can never be fully extinguished, even under the harshest conditions. They say that the fire keeps burning until the end of our lives.

There's a lot of things they seem to say.

I must've died many times throughout my life, for my flame seemed to go out often. Over and over again, since childhood, my flame would repeat this cycle of life then death, then life again. It was a tortuous journey that never seemed to end.

Until one day, it was snuffed out. Completely.

In a dark place, I wandered, lost, for a long time. There was no light, no sun, no morning. It was a forever night with a starless sky and an empty moon. Despite the fear and misery, I began to find comfort in the darkness. It became my only company and my closest friend. It's funny how poison can begin tasting like honey after long enough. I thought myself hopeless. I found no reason to try anymore.

But there was a glimmer of hope still left - one that I couldn't immediately see. A match lying next to an unlit candle. It only needed someone to light it.

The god Hermes. I began having strange dreams - ones that featured a mythology I knew nothing about. Hermes? I think I saw him in that Disney movie one time. I always liked him. The match had been struck, attempting to relight the candle. I looked him up online. I only found one source that I liked. Theoi.com, or something like that. He had a funny myth that made me laugh. It was the first genuine laugh I had in a while. I told myself that if I were to ever worship a god again, it would be him. The candle took to the match and, slowly, a flame began to form. More signs kept coming and coming. It was getting harder to ignore. I just kept telling myself that it was a coincidence...but what if it wasn't? A harsh, howling wind began to blow. The flame sputtered for a moment, fighting to stay alight. But why? Why would any higher being want to contact me? What could I possibly be worth to a god? I was barely worth anything to myself. The flame threatened to go out. It was hanging on by a thread, and the darkness slowly crept in again. Hope was a dangerous thing. What if I was turned away? What if he turned his back on me in my darkest moment? It was better to keep to myself. Even if he was out there, he probably wasn't trying to get my attention. At the last second, a hand shielded it from the bitter cold winds. It was given another chance to burn. Maybe I could just try it. I was receiving all these weird signs that I had never noticed before. What if there really was someone reaching out to me? Someone who cared or wanted to help. Maybe I'm not alone. A tiny, but stable, flame began to burn.

This time, it would stay lit.

[aishangotome]

[Gilbert] Choose Your True Love: Part 2

Part 1

♡———♡

Gilbert: You... might die?

The blood drained from my face at the outrageous announcement made with a refreshing smile.

Emma: W-Why?

Gilbert: Because you've caught the Emperor's eye.

Gilbert: Do you know about him?

Emma: ...I've heard rumors.

Gilbert: Then you should understand. That man's hobby is killing people.

Gilbert: I think they'll be here soon.

Before I could ask "What?", a part of the ceiling suddenly fell down.

(Huh?!)

Several men fell through the gaping hole.

They were all dressed in simple black clothes, their faces covered with cloth.

In their hands, they held swords with unfamiliar shapes, and they exuded a sharp murderous aura, though not as much as the Emperor.

Emma: I can't believe this, but...

Gilbert: They're the Emperor's personal special assassination squad.

Gilbert: While I was out of the room, they were busy doing some handiwork on the ceiling.

Gilbert: I'm amazed at how much free time they have. They should spend their time on something more useful.

Emma: ...Who are they here to assassinate...?

Gilbert: Us, of course. Who else could it be?

Emma: "Us"?

Gilbert: Heh... They're fast, aren't they? Did he give the order the moment we parted ways?

(...He's insane.)

Gilbert didn't seem surprised by the sudden visitors, and he drew the sword he had been wearing under his mantle.

(He used to carry a sword.)

Gilbert: If you run around like a chicken with its head cut off, you'll really die, so be prepared.

(Gulp...)

Gilbert: Roderich.

Roderich: I'll take care of it.

Roderich, who seemed to have been waiting in the corner of the room, rushed into the assassination squad with a sword in hand.

This might be the first time I've seen him, Gilbert's close aide, fight so seriously.

(It's like a small war.)

The opponents seemed to be quite skilled, as some of them slipped past Roderich and came towards us.

Gilbert dodged their silent attacks, swung his sword, and blood splattered.

Emma: ...Ah...

The Gilbert I knew used a gun, but he didn't seem to have one now, as he painted the room with blood using only his sword.

Neither Gilbert nor Roderich hesitated to kill.

I was reminded of something I don't usually feel - that we live in different worlds.

(...This is nothing like the Obsidian I know.)

The cruel scene drained the warmth from my body, leaving me cold and frozen.

As I hugged my shivering body, Gilbert suddenly put something over my head.

I realized it was his coat when I smelled the familiar scent of medicine.

Gilbert: I told you not to run, but you don't have to watch.

Gilbert: You'll break.

(............)

Only my vision was blocked; my ears and nose were still keenly aware of the battle.

I couldn't bring myself to take off the coat.

How much time had passed since then?

The sounds ceased, and an eerie silence fell over the place.

Finally, I made up my mind and tried to take off the coat, but suddenly my feet left the ground.

Emma: Wah!

Gilbert: Stay put.

(Am I... being carried somewhere?)

Gilbert: Well, that was a disaster.

Finally, my feet touched the floor.

-

Gilbert took the coat off my head and put it back on himself.

Thanks to his black military uniform, I couldn't see any blood, but he smelled the same as the Emperor.

Emma: ...Are you alright?

Gilbert: Hm?

Emma: Are you hurt...?

Gilbert: Oh, no. They were just inexperienced assassins in training, even if they were a special forces unit.

Gilbert: You can't survive in Obsidian if you can't kill at least that much.

Emma: ...

Gilbert: That look on your face... Was that your first time seeing something like that?

Emma: Yes... I live in Obsidian, but I've never seen an assassin before...

Gilbert: Really?

Emma: Is it... a daily occurrence?

Gilbert: Yeah, it's a daily routine.

(Daily...)

Gilbert: It's been happening especially frequently lately.

Gilbert: Maybe the Emperor is holding a grudge against me for voicing my opinion about the Rhodolite invasion the other day.

Gilbert: He loves to chop off the heads of people who oppose him.

(No way...)

It sounded like a joke, but after actually facing the Emperor, I understood.

He's a monster in human skin, and that fact has seeped into my bones in a short amount of time.

(...Come to think of it, Gilbert's mother and brother also opposed the Emperor...)

Gilbert: Heh... You blocked his path too, didn't you?

Gilbert: We're the same. That's why I think you were targeted.

Emma: ...

(I finally understand why Gilbert in the past is always on edge.)

(And also...)

When I looked up at his face from up close, I saw dark circles under his eyes.

It might be difficult for him to even sleep properly right now.

Emma: ...Gilbert--

The moment I reached out my hand, a deathly scream shook the window.

(What now?)

.

.

.

. Part 3 | YouTube SE in JP

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[ik-kudi-da-khwab]

I HAVE 9 DAYS LEFT FOR MY EXAMS AND I HAVE DONE NOTHING

My quarterly exams begin from 29th and I have not done anything for those like I HAVE NOT STUDIED!!! WHY U ASK? cuz in vacations I simply didn't feel enough pressure to study lol idk I'm so stupid but now exams are hovering over my life like dark clouds and I HAVE TO STUDY cuz I have to maintain my topper reputation so I NEED AN ACADEMIC COMEBACK. I HAVE 9 FUCKING DAYS ONLY to cover 5 chapters of business studies, 3 chapter of macro- economics, 2 of Indian Economics, 1 of IP and to revise 7 chapters of accountancy. SO WHAT AM I? DEAD!!! BUT UR GIRL WILL NOT BE DEAD. i will and have to grind my ass off for 9 days but that's fine its my opportunity to prove myself that I'm not a lazy bitch so JUST WANTED TO RANT

[sturnrry]

Try Again - C.S

summary: Chris goes to Y/n's apartment without her knowledge to try and win her back

cw: angst, cursing, slight fluff

word count: 1.9k

masterlist | read part 1 here

-----------------------------------------------

It's been six months since Y/n broke up with Chris. She's hung out with both Matt and Nick here and there and it always seems like nothing has changed. A lot has happened over the past six months. She stayed with her best friend for the first month while she tried to recover from everything, and find the perfect apartment for herself.

At the end of the first month, she signed the lease.

Her new apartment is perfect. It has open living room with easy access to the kitchen. She loved that her apartment had many windows letting the natural sunlight come in. Her bedroom was something she loved. Back at the triplets house, she couldn't decorate her bedroom the way she wanted to. Considering the fact she had to take in Chris' interests into consideration.

Over this period of time, she missed Chris although she tried to deny her thoughts, she couldn't. When she was unpacking her car (she had left mostly everything in there until she found an apartment) she had found that a hoodie of Chris' she might've accidentally grabbed.

The moment she saw her now apartment she knew it was the one. The bathroom was absolutely beautiful which she found weird. When Matt and Nick came over to her apartment for the first time, they were shocked. The apartment was so her. They both helped her settle some things in. They went shopping for home appliances like decor, pots and pans, furniture, anything you could think of, they were there.

Chris knew that his brothers were hanging out with his ex girlfriend. He felt jealous, angry, upset. For the first few months he rarely spoke to his brothers. They tried to make an effort to hang out with him as much as possible, but he rarely let it happen. When they filmed their videos he would lock his feelings away and be as normal as possible.

The public still hadn't known that they were broken up, considering the fact that they never really posted about their relationship to avoid any hate or unnecessary rumors to spread around. They still followed each other, so the fans didn't think anything was wrong.

Y/n still continued to post on her socials, while Chris would post once every few weeks. He made an effort to get his license when he visited back home. He bought a car and tried to flip his life back the right way. He tried to talk to his brothers more. He tried to post more. He tried to contact Y/n but failed to do so because he always deleted his written out message, always closed out the phone app that was opened to her contact. Always backed out from asking Matt her new address.

Chris knew she had gotten a new apartment from her apartment tour video on youtube. He always caught himself up on anything she did. There was many speculations when that video came out but she quickly shut down the rumors by saying she just wanted her own place to continue to grow as her own person.

However, it wasn't until one day that Chris grew the courage to ask Matt the one question he always wanted to. "Hey, Matt?" He says, opening the fridge to get a pepsi. "Yea?" Matt says from washing his hands in the kitchen sink. "Can you give me Y/n's address, please." He says shyly. "And why exactly would I do that?" He says, drying his hands on his pants.

"I want to see her, and explain myself. I think I'm ready." Chris says, tapping his fingers against the table. A nervous habit he has. "What makes you think she's ready? Do you think she even wants to talk to you?" Matt knows Y/n has been wanting to reach out to Chris. He just wants to see that Chris is willing to do it himself.

A couple of weeks ago when Y/n mentioned to Matt that she was willing to talk to Chris, she gave him permission to give Chris her address if he ever asked. Also wanting to see if he would make the effort to. "I would hope she wants to. It's been quite some time. Has she.. told you something?"

"She's told me something, yes." Matt nods. Chris' heart flutters, knowing that she's probably ready to see him again, and possibly give him another chance. If she didn't want to give him another chance he would be bummed out but he'd understand.

"Is she ready?" Matt nods his to Chris' question. Matt grabs Chris' phone off the counter and unlocks it with his own face and inputs Y/n's address into the maps app. "Here, go talk to her." He hands the phone back to Chris. "Thanks. I'll be back." He snatches the keys from the table and runs to the garage. Chris looks down at his phone and realizes it's only a 10 minute drive.

Ten minutes. She's been ten minutes away from him this whole time.

Pulling up to her apartment complex. His hands start to sweat. He texts Matt and asks which buzzer is hers and which apartment floor and number is hers. He replies fairly quickly. Back at home, Matt runs to Nick's room. "It's time." He says out of breath. "He went?" Nick asks as he stops blowing his nose. "Yes." Nick had cancelled his plans with Y/n because he woke up with a cold. "Let's only hope."

The boys had hated seeing how their brother had been lately and how their friend had lost some of herself.

Chris presses her buzzer and it takes about two minutes for her to buzz open the door. Going to her floor and her door he takes a minute to himself before he knocks. "Hey, Nick. I thought you-" Her words were cut off once she saw who it really was. "Chris? What are you doing here?" She's taken aback. "I- I want to talk." He stumbles over his words. "If that's okay with you? I can leave if you want me to." He rambles.

"No, we can talk. Come in." She opens the door fully and he takes in her appearance as he walk in. She's wearing one of his favorite outfits she always wore when they went out just the two of them. "I like it. Your apartment, it's very you." He breaks the awkward silence. "Thanks, do you want anything to drink?"

"Do you have pepsi?" He asks, although he had one just before coming here. "I think so." Y/n turns on her heels and walks towards her fridge. She can't help but try to suppress her smile by biting down on her bottom lip. A habit of hers. She rummages through the fridge and finds her second to last pepsi. Over the years, she also grew an addiction to pepsi thanks to Chris.

"Here you go." She closes the fridge to turn to him when she finds him admiring the view from the high rise. "Oh, thanks." He turns back. "So," "So," They both say at the same time. "How have you been?" Chris asks as he opens the can. "I've been good, yeah. I just arrived from visiting my dad back home in Chicago."

Before starting high school, she was born and raised in the city of Chicago. But, when she bagan middle school her parents weren't the same anymore. So, when their divorce was finalized her mom packed herself, Y/n and her two little siblings and moved to Massachusetts. And that's where she met the triplets on her first day of Freshman year.

When Y/n turned eighteen, she traveled many time to Chicago to visit her dad for up to a month. Her siblings were a bit jealous so they begged their mom if they were able to tag along with Y/n. "Really? How was that?" Chris asks. "It was fun, I brought Maise and Freddy along. They were here two weeks before our trip and stayed here after we came back. They left a couple of hours ago." She hops on the counter spot next to Chris while he stays standing.

"How have you been?" She asks, playing with her fingers in her lap. "I've been good, too. I got my license when I went back home, finally. Bought a car, and that's pretty much it." Y/n gasps. "Really? That's cool. You're finally able to drive yourself around without the guys tagging along." Chris nods. "It's so much better, should've gotten it sooner." They both laugh. He eventually hops on the counter next to her. With her permission.

There's a beat of silence, their thighs are touching. Y/n bites the bullet and leans her head against his shoulder. Something she almost always did. Chris automatically melts into her touch and leans his head against hers. They stay like that for a while. Their hands eventually end up in one another's hold.

Chris is the first to break the silence. "M' sorry." Y/n can't help but tear up. "No, I'm sorry. If I hadn't broken up with you we wouldn't have been in this situation." Chris furrows his eyebrows and lifts his head off of her head and she lifts her head off of his shoulder. He stares at her teary eyes as he begins to speak. "You had no other choice, baby. I was fucking- gosh, I was horrible the last weeks of our relationship."

Chris hops off the counter and stands between her legs, bringing both of her hands up to his chest. "Chris," She begins. "No, listen to me, please." He cuts her off. "I messed up. I know I did." His voice begins to quiver and he begins to tear up, making more tears spill out of her eyes. "I was horrible at communicating how I was feeling. How everything I was going through put too much on my plate."

"And you know I didn't mean any I said to you that day, right? I didn't mean a single word. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You didn't waste none of my time. None of it." He wipes the tears that are falling from her eyes to her cheeks while he is in the same situation. "I also hope you know I didn't mean anything I said to you too." She says and he nods.

"Y/n, baby, I would do anything that will give me the privilege to be able to call you mine again. Anything." He takes her hands back in his hold. "Really?" She says. "Yes, baby." Chris smiles and kisses her hands. "Do you promise to always tell me how you're feeling?" He nods. "Yes, all the time."

"Can I be your boyfriend again?" He says shyly. "Please." She nods. He wastes no time in smashing his lips against hers. "I love you." He mumbles against her lips. "I never stopped loving you."

A couple of hours have passed by, the sun set many hours ago and it was now nearing two in the morning. Chris was staying the night. As the movie played in front of them. Both Chris and Y/n get a message. Y/n picks her phone off of the coffee table and so does Chris.

It's from Nick, which he wrote in the group chat all four of you have together.

nick

it's 2 am chris isn't home yet i'm guessing everything went well?

matt

can someone respond so i can sleep soundly pls?

chris

if you're asking if we're back together, yes we are

nick

thank fuck

matt

goodnight everyone💤

y/n

haha i'll see you guys tomorrow!!

nick

bring me more tissue

"I'm guessing they were waiting for this?" Chris asks. "Guess so." Y/n turns her phone off and hugs Chris as if he'll disappear. "I love you." He says, kissing her head. "I love you." She replies.

[from-m-izzy]

gleaming | the boyz lee sangyeon

“Go over the given time and I’ll spoil myself more than you.”

pairing » the boyz lee sangyeon x fem!reader​

trope/au » ​established relationship au!, non-idol au!

genre » 18+ ONLY; MDNI PLEASE! 🔞 explicitly (?) suggestive, there's some fluffy moments here too, reader and sangyeon are very much in love

word count; estimated reading time » 1825; ~7 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » dom/sub dynamic, dom!sangyeon, sub!reader, does not include explicit smut but i don't think it's sfw either, very suggestive (as compared to this; forever using it as a main benchmark), sangyeon grabs reader's neck (for a while), sangyeon's hands between reader's thighs (mentions of touching), sangyeon implied to physically taller and bigger than the reader, mentions of nudity (and undressing), panty sniffing; sangyeon of reader's, nicknames (baby girl; sangyeon to reader), kissing, (slight) public touching; sangyeon to reader, suggestive talk (public and private setting); sangyeon to reader, allusions to face sitting, not properly proofread (surprise surprise 😭 i'm sorry)

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

this is written to my dearest (and very old soulmate) ally @winterchimez 😘 happiest birthday to you!!

Sangyeon loves you. He loves you to bits and you believe in that confidently. You never feel any insecurities whenever he would be out without you. Your mind and heart are calm, not making any negative ‘what ifs’ from his actions towards the people around him, wherever he may be; and if anything, you’re confident in this seven-year relationship that you both are mature enough to settle any misunderstandings, should any occur, through conversations and patience. 

Sangyeon, from the very start, has treated you as his one and only. Picking you up from a place without notice? You can count on him to be in the car within a minute. Bringing you flowers whenever a date is scheduled, even when it’s not at some fancy restaurant and just window shopping in the city? Be prepared to have one hand free for the colourful bouquet. Making sure to pack an extra scarf or thick jacket for you to wear because the weather could be unpredictable? The back of his car has around ten of that each. Making sure that your credit card, your phone or any cash never leaves your wallet and bag? He gave the restaurant his card a few hours before he would take you to any restaurant. When you figured that out though, he started bringing it way earlier; sometimes during opening time, sometimes just a huge load of cash a day before. Spoiling you with all styles and colours of clothing, and supporting your hobbies by purchasing in-game items? He even made a copy of his credit card for you to use.

The princess treatment became even more luxurious when you both could afford a little studio together. As a child, you always wanted a big house, painted in your favourite colour and maybe walls stuck with stickers from the dollar store but all you need now is to wake up and sleep next to the love of your life. Everything else ripples after that. After an exhausting day, the thought of having his hand behind your back is enough to rid of the sleepiness before driving. 

Speaking of having a place for you both, Sangyeon has made sure to reserve a place in the corner of the bedroom for you. Whether that be for your gaming set-up or your skincare addiction he has reminded you to check the expiration date on or the albums of your favourite idols. He left his credit card next to your laptop to remind you that he supports you. His support never faltered even now as you're begging him for a date outside the house, hands clasped together in desperation.

“What's the occasion?” An eyebrow lifts in suspicion, his arms crossing in front of his built chest that you laid on last night.

“Nothing!” You shrugged, “There's just a little something that I want to get but shipping is expensive and we get to eat out.” You watch as Sangyeon tilts his head, his eyes narrowing at your wide eyes and the rising corners of your lips.

He knew he couldn't say no to you, no matter what. He was just expecting a lazy day in bed today as your day-offs finally matched after a few weeks. Just thinking of you both cuddling under the bedsheets and feeling your breathing against his bare chest, sharing body warmth through minimal clothing is all it took for that creeping red to make its way to his cheeks. But if his Princess wanted to have an energetic day out instead, then that’s what she’ll get.

You couldn’t help but chuckle confused at how Sangyeon suddenly bent his back, putting his face closer to you, cheeks lining up where your lips would be. When asked, Sangyeon turns his head, purposely flexing his closed smile to show his dimple. Understanding what he wanted, your toes lifted you to kiss one of his best features.

“You could’ve just asked,” rolling your eyes playfully and mimicking his crossed arms whilst walking away.

Your boyfriend stops you from taking another step, cushioning the back of your knee and your back with his sturdy hold. You couldn’t help but exclaim at the sudden levitation, but you knew he would never drop you; at least not to the floor. For extra security, “That wouldn’t be fun though now, would it?”

There’s something about men driving skilfully with one hand on the wheel and the other freestyling to be somewhere else. The very first few stages of the relationship, Sangyeon wanted to make sure that you felt safe in the moving metal vehicle, both hands parallel on the leather circle. Gradually, one hand lowers to rest on the head of the joystick. He knew the way he had his sleeves rolled halfway his arms also drove you crazy, judging from how your thighs would shake and the uneven exhales that are all too audible without much attention. From the corner of his eyes, he sees your thigh muscles contracting, ultimately closing as you look away to face the side mirror instead. 

He demands your attention even when he’s driving, reaching the stage of the relationship where the innocent swipes on the outside of your leg when he changes the control of the joystick to shamelessly keeping your thighs apart, hands venturing further up, riding your dress and skirt closer to your waistline. Occasionally his knuckles would press against where you needed him most and with the little game he started, you always made sure that if you were going to wear shorts or pants, the fabric would be thin enough for you to feel his ministrations.

“Come on,” you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding, relaxing the muscles of your throat. You let out the slightest huff, half disappointed at how Sangyeon didn’t seem to go further. “Let’s go, Princess,” clicking the seatbelt open for you. 

You didn’t bother masking your thoughts, unconsciously throwing a glare that is stronger than you expected. The look woke up Sangyeon’s dominant side and he locked the four doors through the main lock on his side. The realisation of your actions only hit you when Sangyeon easily wrapped a hand around your neck, pulling you into a searing kiss. The hands slide to the side gradually, pulling you by the back of your neck into a messy tongue fight. His collar rumpled against your hold for stability and Sangyeon found it amusing when you lightly moaned into him, a slight smirk adoring your gentle features.

“Here?” You asked at the small frame between your heated session.

“Don’t test me,” kissing you innocently by the tip of your nose, “Let’s go inside now.” Not before he slips a finger on your waistband and snaps it back against your skin did he exit the car, making his way to the other side to open the door for you. Before heading in, he sets a timer on his phone and you smirk at his impatience when he pulls your hips to his growing tent. “Go over the given time and I’ll spoil myself more than you.”

The rest of the shopping trip is tamely innocent. Sangyeon had to take deep inhales to calm his hardening member under his already tight dress pants. Thankfully, you decided to make the best of the time he gave you, dragging him along your shopping journey with a wholesome smile and it calmed the blood pumping throughout his body. Within the first few minutes, Sangyeon is already holding two shopping bags as he recognises some dresses that has been in your shopping cart for some time. The attention to detail is rewarded with a long (but still tame) kiss on his lips. That is until you decide to comment about something that makes his heart excited, dopamine rushing to all the things that he wants to do to you tonight.

“You don’t understand,” putting the bottle of moisturiser that you had a stock of at home, “I need all of these to make sure that my skin stays glowing like right now,” sulking at how your boyfriend does minimal skincare and his skin feels like a newborn baby’s soft, healthy and plump ones, “It’s not fair.”

“Your skin is beautiful, baby girl,” kissing your cheek to prove his point.

“But you can’t ignore the fact that yours is gleaming and immaculate.”

Sangyeon nods, lightly shrugging his shoulder, “I actually have a secret to this gorgeous, glowing skin.” It perks your ears, never hearing that Sangyeon is into such things, “Let’s get out of here and I’ll show you?” You could tell that he was up to something that wasn’t related to skincare but there was no way you didn’t want to find out what he was hiding behind that seemingly cute and pure eye smile of his, not when he didn’t mind cupping your ass, gripping on your flesh in public for everyone to see. Your nod is what makes Sangyeon drag you out of the shopping mall.

He didn’t bother checking if the car was parked prettily in the designated apartment parking and you can sense his neediness with how he left the shopping bags in the back seat, picking you up bridal style from the underground parking, not letting you use your feet. When asked why, in the midst of the tight square volume of the ascending lift, he whispers to the shell of your ears, “It’ll be doing all the workouts from now, don’t worry.”

You wanted to question him, but with just one look into his orbs, the darkness mixed with the lust made your stomach do little flips and the stomach there did an involuntary jolt as you felt your panties dampening with every second passed looking at his black eyes. As soon as you arrive at the room, Sangyeon wastes no time to drop you to sit on the bed. You were about to lie down, as that’s what you would usually do, but this time he tells you to stay still. You watch the strip show in front of you, Sangyeon unbuttoning his shirt but keeping it on. He rids the metal clasps of his belt, kicking his pants behind him and lays on the bed, arms propped behind him, flexing his biceps.

“Take only your panties off, baby girl,” a chill runs down your spine as he asks you and you’re suddenly hypnotised to do so. “Give it to me,” referring to the garment between your fingertips. 

What your boyfriend did next intensified the pulsing between your thighs, “S-Sangyeon,” the lewd scene of him kissing and inhaling the scent of your used underwear where your wet pussy was made your legs shiver.

“Sorry,” he chuckles, putting the garment below his pillow, “Now come sit on my face,”

Your eyes widen at the request, “W-We’ve never done that–”

“Do it, baby girl,” he demands softly, voice cutting through silence dominantly, “Let me do my skincare routine lying down.”

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[amlovelies]

so today’s a day where I am feeling frustrated with the fact that I really have no idea of what I can actually realistically get done. like I used to do so much. and that’s what caused some really extreme burnout and just like I can’t come up with reasonable expectations for myself anymore. i always feel like I should be doing so much more, that I should be exceptional should be perfect and then I can’t live up to that standard so I get frustrated and just do nothing at all. and I wish I could self moderate better but I just can’t and it’s the most frustrating thing. like why is it always one extreme or the other???

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts