#and James

[ditzybat]

I’ve been thinking about if Harry Potter characters were American and what state they would be from, and these are the conclusions I’ve come to.

Harry - he’s Northern Illinois coded, just because I feel like the Dursley’s have a mean midwestern vibe, because northern Illinoisans are lowkey mean and nosy (I say this as someone from Chicago), and it’s really suburban enough to match with Surreys overall description (and by that I mean the Dursley’s are def from Naperville) + I feel like the Lily And Petunia were from Chicago so I feel like it isn’t too out there for Petunia to settle down with her mediocre husband somewhere nice. He tells people he’s from Chicago and gets clocked immediately by people actually from the city, where he then has to admit he’s from Naperville (which is embarrassing, and honestly real man I’m from the burbs too </3) + Dudley seems like the type to say he’s from south side and in a gang to people when he first meets them, but actually lives in a gated community.

Ron - Arizona, specifically Tucson. Red states are cheaper and I feel like financially it would be a smarter move for the Weasleys to live there - also the mental image of Fred and George cooking an egg on the sidewalk (intending to feed it to Ron) as them and their entire family turn lobster red in the summer is too good.

Hermione - Connecticut, I have no basis for places in Connecticut because I’ve never been, however its gorgeous in autumn and it’s gives Gilmore Girls vibes which i feel like Hermione based her personality off of for her first few years of elementary school (because, me too) also I feel like if we put her in a book/coffee shop alone with a Pinterest feed she’d post some absolute golden pictures to her Instagram.

Draco - So, I do think he’s still very European, and by that I mean he’s rich enough to visit his grandparents in France (where I’m just gonna say the Blacks are from and immigrated to the U.S right before Sirius, Regulus, Narcissa, Andromeda and Bellatrix went to Hogwarts - which for the sake of this AU would be in Salem, Massachusetts in place of Ilvermorny) but I do feel that he gives New Jersey vibes, like that’s where he was born and raised because the Malfoys are rich socialites who live in a Victorian era mansion - also because I feel like Draco with a New Jersey accent he desperately tries to hide because it’s a little bit too ‘by the shore’ to be socially acceptable by all his rich family friends is so cute.

The Black Family - French, but immigrated to New York - specifically The Hamptons. I feel like this is the obvious choice, also they’re unbearably rich and French so they think The Hamptons is mediocre. However, Walburga was absolutely horrified to find that the Malfoys were from JERSEY and that Narcissa decided it would be best to move with her new husband down there - prolong exposure to New Yorkers made the family pick up the hater attitude towards Jersey and Boston.

Remus - Washington, specifically Seattle, he loves the small coffee shops and Costco, but also refuses to whip out an umbrella when it rains because he feels like it shows weakness (even though he probably should because of his cane…) also he’s the one running the i5 Instagram account yelling at losers who can’t drive.

Peter - He’s from Boston. You just know he goes hard on St. Patrick’s day by making Corn Beef sandwiches and blasting Dropkick Murpheys (his great grandparents are Irish, so he’s your average ‘Irish American’) Wore a Celtics jersey when visiting Sirius at his apartment in Manhattan and was heckled. He has the thickest accent in the world, can’t pronounce his r’s whatsoever.

The Evan’s Family + Snape - already said it, but again I think she and Petunia are from Chicago, which also mean Severus would be from there as well - and I just feel like all together they’re from South Side because I feel like they’re all tough enough to withstand it like they were raised there - like Lily is such a powerful and strong witch that I feel like a background in south side makes sense, same thing with Snape, it fits with their background. Petunia will forever deny she’s from a struggling area, and is proud to live in the richest suburb with her white picket fence and perfect family.

James - as I said, he’s an LA boy who loves the beach and has a killer tan, but he’s really from Oxnard and lies because no one outside of Cali knows where that is, also it sounds cooler. He and Lily probably have debates on which city has the better Mexican food (The answer is Chicago), and he loves taking pictures outside the Barbie house in Santa Monica. He has a bad case of Valley Girl accent that he picked up through osmosis from Mary (who is actually from LA and isn’t a liar).

Anyway I’m too lazy to do the rest of the cast and marauders so here’s my little Americanization of Harry Potter because I find making British people mad entertaining.

[vettelbee]

this is how you market an f1 team

[writteninart]

That one rosestarkillerchaser (with unexpected pair ups) just singlehandedly altered my brain chemistry and my life has been once again split into before and after.

Edit: It got taken down before the story got finished lmao.

[definitelynuwonhere]

Just hang on ya’ll, Valenweek is on it’s way to temporarily ease the pain

[dinahime-blog]

I love so much the way Harry lies to himself but is clear as day to everyone else how much he wants to be with Draco and how much he really likes hum and wants him to care for him and be touched by him even if is just a moment of anger or an accident

[luffythinker]

oh i finished derry girls last night and it was so good, was not expecting it to like that much, i just started bc the episodes are short and fits my meal times but i got so invested and some episodes had me crying 😭🫂 im gonna miss themmm

[angelfoodscake]

MY RUSTY ARRIVED TODAY

[notyournecromancer]

i m walking down the street listening to you read Remus’ birthday in tcoptp and im grinning lol i feel like i can hear you smiling as you read. thank you for this

hiya

thats so lovely, these are my favourite messages to get honestly. that story means so bloody much to me and I'm having the very very best time reading it (even though it often takes me sixteen goes to get it right because I'm grinning or snorting ungracefully with laughter)

a new chapter should be out tonight and another one tomorrow hopefully :)

so so so glad you're enjoying it!

have the loveliest day xo

[ragsandrascals]

HELP do I hate theater or do I just hate being in a town where all you can do is (Disney show) the musical!

[zsrntyouil]

What are some of your fav rare pairs????

Thank you for the ask!!

So first of all, I don't really think they can be considered rare anymore but well 🤷, I love moonwater they're such cuties!!

I also really love dorlily, they're two smart bad bitches but still the sweetest 🩷

I have so much more but im so tired I can't remember it all 😭😭

[olauivers]

every cool smart theory guy needs their 'oh my god you're so right' with starstruck eyes partner

[softcryz]

They call me Zoc

[alittlefrenchtree]

Yay about the new posters for Mary and George show :) I hope it gives Nick an Emmy and Golden Globe next year. Wish it came out last year :( right dude?

They’re going to rule the fucking planet.

[rigginsstreet]

Oh, the idea of James who only thinks of himself and Steve as people, everyone else is an object. A toy. Steve sort of goes along with it passively because he's never found a compelling reason to disagree, really. He just doesn't think about it very much.

The brothers share their toys, though. They're close like that.

The idea of James being the one who starts something up with Billy first. He's a fun toy. He’s pretty fucked up, and that's interesting to James. Holds his attention way longer than anyone else has before. Doesn’t even really notice that there's something more, something real, growing between Billy and Steve until it's way too far gone.

The unbridled rage that not only did his brother steal his favourite toy... his toy stole his brother.

James being the more brazen of the two so when he starts to feel steve pulling away towards billy he becomes a real bitch about it, makes these snide remarks at dinner when billys over that are just enough to go over their parents heads but have billy and Steve glaring at him across the table, squirming in their seats.

James acting like he suddenly doesn’t give a shit about billy, he’s boring, James has moved on, and Steve is supposed to move on too because Steve has always followed James, done whatever he’s done, felt whatever he’s felt, except not this time. Steve’s putting his foot down and going after what he wants and James is losing the control he always had, always relished in, and it’s lighting a dangerous spark deep within him because if he can’t have control over steve, well, it’s gonna go badly for everyone

[sunlaire]

I didn't understand how people could rewatch the Terror! because it was so so so unbearably sad at the end. and now here i am rewatching it and somehow enjoying it better than the first time