#and a week after discharge I'm still very very sick with it i can just tolerate food and oral fluids now. couldn't before

[arctic-hands]

I spent FOUR DAYS in an E.R bed because there were NO beds open anywhere in the hospital proper. I get discharged after a week of being dangerously dehydrated despite the constant heavy duty electrolytes being pumped into my veins round the clock and in the third worst pain of my life, only to watch on the news at home a report about the days-long wait times in hospitals and hear that the reporters have the audacity to wonder why hospitals are overcrowded again

It's covid. Stop being wilful idiots

[mourning-star-daily-comet]

UPDATE: the offical police report of the wilson/claire case has finally been released. i'll link it here, but i don't think it explains everything, since a good amount of the details have come from witnesses and locals that havent been contacted by the authorities regarding the story. so, for continuities sake, i'm gonna give a final summary on here before i close out their case on this blog.

the timeline i've put together relies partially on an official statement released by claire (who still refuses to provide a last name to the public, and has no official documents connecting her to any identity living in mourning star), who has initiative to lie. however, i matched her story up as many other sources as i could, so i'm pretty confident on this being correct but just keep that in mind.

after meeting him in september at a party, she and nicholas began spending a lot of time together. claire states that he faced severe struggles with his mental health including attachment issues- he was "so sad, all the time. he couldn't stand to be alone. i didn't know why."

claire had always had many dreams of what she calls 'a bigger life', which she often told him about but he did not share. but due in part to his anxious attachment disorder, she was eventually able to convince him to run away with her so they could be 'together, away from their small town', as she claims.

the details are fuzzy at this point, as she seems to contradict herself often in regards to the actual murder, but she claims she had reason to believe that Sears was attempting to attack her, and that she alone acted on self-defense. there are no witnesses to this other than nicholas who is not providing a statement; however, the lack of a murder weapon points to the idea that it was not premeditated, as the death was caused by sudden blunt force trauma.

she then claims that, very soon after the murder, Wilson started to fall sick and needed lots of treatment. this allegedly led claire into a cycle of systematic robberies, which she used to 'care for him'. this is also proven by the fact that he was found to be suffering from an unknown illness, in addition to his various injuries, upon rescue. she also claims that she stole a car belonging to a local, who does not want to be named at this time, because nicholas's had been crashed and the winter was too harsh for them to survive in the cold.

her story then details their living in the woods and how he was "barely concious through the whole thing. like- [she didn't] even think he realized he wasn't at home". this leads officials to believe that the entirety of their time spent running from the police was planned and carried out by claire, without wilson's discreton at all.

when questioned about his injuries, she states that she returned to the car they had been staying in to suddenly find him in his current condition. from there, she tried to drive him to the hospital, but he alledgedly attempted to climb out of the moving car. "he had been hallucinating the past few weeks. i think it was from fever, or dehydration? something. probably a mix of things. but he'd been really sick. [...] i think he saw something and left [the car], i found him away from it. i really don't know what happened." she never mentioned any plan of hurting him in her confession.

nicholas, however, has refused to speak on his side. he has recently been discharged from the hospital, but despite being questioned he has not made any statements.

so there you go, that's all i know. if you have any last questions, you can ask me, but i'm not sure how many more answers i can give.

[bifflesnitch]

I'm sick of being right, I'm sick of "specialists" failing me

This is like, the 5th or 6th physio I've gone to for my scoliosis and NONE of them have had a fucking clue! And I give them cheatsheets, I come prepared. I got x-rays that I have editing myself with the MRI report notes over top. I know which way I curve and I can draw a detailed pain map of which muscles are in pain and why. And they STILL don't listen and just give me generic exercises that make my pain WORSE. Sometimes they just give up after 6-8 weeks and discharge me telling me to look up pilates videos on youtube. The most recent one I went to I explained everything, I showed her all my x-rays and diagrams and told her which stretches had and hadn't worked in the past. This bitch proceeds to confuse which way my spine curves multiple times in the appointment and tells me to do a stretch which twists my body in the complete wrong way that exaggerated my curve rather than straightening it out. I tell her this, and how it feels wrong and she insists that no, no, this is the way I should be doing it according to the way my spine is curved. So I go home, not very reassurred, and try out the exercise for 2 weeks. I come back and tell her that it still feels wrong. She looks at me and goes "oh yeah, you should be doing it the other way, woopsie." But wait, there's more. Then she gets me to see how far I can stretch side to side reaching my hand down my leg and notices that I can't go as far on the right sided so she tells me I need to practise stretching that way as much as I can to even it out. I take 2 seconds to think about it and point out to her that the REASON I can't go as far on the right side is because that is the CONCAVE side of my curve, meaning that the vertebrae are already closer together bby default when I'm standing straight. So the reason I can't go as far on that sided is because there is literally less room for them to move before the BONES START HITTING INTO EACH OTHER. I had to show her the x-ray and demonstraed with my fists stacked on top of each other before she understood and then she gives me the most gormless look and just says "oh, well maybe don't do that one then." YA THINK?! And she just abandonedd me mid session to go and spot some other lady in the gym and give her pointers for a good 5-10 minutes. Like, I paid for 30 minutes and it was NOT cheap and insurance won't cover it so it would be nice if you could actually focus on your client for the whole half hour. Now I'm back at square one. Maybe 7th times the charm ay.

[sentimentalmachine]

very sad and very upset my physical therapist is having a medical emergency and may not be able to come back to work i'm really worried and scared for her after working together for months i've grown fond of and attached to her and she's the only one whose been able to help me in the least bit. we've finally been making a little progress. i'm definitely a bit stronger than i was when i started, i've managed to gain a bit of weight and i don't get quite as sick as i used to. but i still have a long way to go and we still had so much we were working going to work on. a few weeks ago at my re-evaluation she said she was never letting me go because i need so much help and she likes working with me so she was going to keep me for as long as the charity would let me and as long as i wanted to keep coming. i've been working harder than i ever have in my life, i've never been good at sticking to things, especially when they are hard and painful, but with the help and encouragement i was getting i've kept at it all this time, and i've probably only made about 25% improvement after 6 months but that's still more than i've ever made before. and i feel so selfish because i went in there every week complaining about my silly pain and discomfort while she was having something even worse brewing and never let on. and i know that's part of her job to be told what's going wrong with each person each time they come but i can't help but feel i complained too much about my own problems and made too big a deal about everything. and honestly i knew one day i would have to stop going and i'd never see her again but i thought that would be when i was discharged and i'd know it was happening and i was sad to think about even that scenario but it's so much worse having that possibility suddenly thrown on me with those circumstances. when i went last week everything seemed fine and she wanted to try to get me an extra visit in after what was going to be a difficult/painful medical test for me, and when she didn't call i assumed it was because there were no cancelations. i never thought for a moment it would be because she was in the hospital. i found out when i went to pt today. i was scheduled with the other pt that i see sometimes there and she told me all about it. now i don't know what's going to happen with my care. no one else knows my exact problems and needs like she did, she was able to adapt things in precise ways that worked my unique needs. this honestly makes me just want to give up, i don't want to be placed with another pt. i was already comfortable with her and it's very hard for me to get comfortable with people but she has such a friendly, caring and welcoming personality. she makes everyone who goes there feel like they are getting best care tailored just to them. i don't think i can get that with anyone else there, i've been going long enough and observed enough to recognize that. but i also know she wouldn't want me to give, she didn't work with me so hard all this time for me to just let it all go. but i feel so devastated and crushed i just want to curl up and cry and never move again. maybe i just need to give it a few days and let myself feel bad and then try to pick myself up and get back to it. idk. i just needed to let things out. i don't talk about much of anything anymore but this just shook me to my core and i have to talk about it. i just really hope no matter what she'll be ok, even if we can't work together again i just want her to be ok.

[darknesscannotsaveyou]

I'm curious, how did you became an ex-satanist :O?

And also, what is a reformed baptist? I thought reformed and baptist are two different denominations :o?

Anyway sorry for the weird ask (=_="), I rarely encounter christians here that's not part of the 'majority' of tumblr users :p

i appreciate your ask so much, i promise you it's not weird ❤️❤️ God bless you

so i became interested and curious in theistic satanism in early/mid 2019. my thought process at the time was "i'm so far gone for God to ever forgive me, i like my sin too much to even think about ever being Christian one day, i need to keep finding what can fill this void in my soul because idolizing music artists isn't fully cutting it." so i research a bit about theistic satanism, i find a discord server about it, then after that, i get wrapped up in it. from April to late July, i'm a self proclaimed theistic satanist.

since i've told what got me in it, here's what brought me out of it:

mid July, i start getting sick, i can't keep anything down for about a week straight. after about a week of that happening, i'm so nutrient deficient that i go unconscious and have to stay a little over a week in the hospital. one day while i'm in the hospital, i get this feeling or urge, that now i can only attribute to the Holy Spirit who gave me that urge, to leave that discord server, to distance myself a bit from theistic satanism. over the span of the next months after i'm discharged, i start to remove myself from TS even more from my old tumblr account. even though i had left theistic satanism, i was still very much gay.

overall timeline:

theistic satanist - April- late July 2019

in hospital -late July-early August 2019

repented and was regenerated by the Holy Spirit and forgiven by the blood of Christ - August 8, 2020

OKAY onto your next question ;P

Reformed Baptists are also known as Calvinistic Baptists or Particular Baptists. we're just Baptists who hold to the 1689 Baptist Confession of Faith and to Calvinistic/Reformed theology.

[junosaurus]

Hi, I'm new to your blog and I wanted to say that I loved the things you've written so far! If requests are still open I'd like to make one: Keqing, Ayaka, Ei and Jean is looking after sick S/O but soon they find out that their illness is terminal and they spend their last days with them (Btw, this anon is sucker for angst)

Them with a sick S/O

Ft: Keqing, Raiden Ei, Kamisato Ayaka, Jean Gunnhildr x !GN Reader (seperate)

A/N: Hello!! Welcome!!And thank you smmm i appreciate it! this is a very sad request, in fact i sobbed while writing this so i hope u like it! 😭

Keqing

Although Keqing already does overwork herself, she'll overwork even more to finish her work earlier and go to the hospital right after just to meet you.

She'd always bring you gifts like your favourite flowers, figurines, snacks and food, your bedside table would always be full of stuff.

After she found out your illness was terminal and you were practically on your deathbed until your last days it felt like her world was torn apart.

She begged on her knees to her boss to give her two weeks off from work just to spend time with you..and of course, to plan your funeral.

The doctors said you had about a week left so that broke Keqing's heart even more, though the doctors did let you go out for the remaining time.

You both had fun like you used to before you were diagnosed. It felt like the normal days when you were completely healthy.

Though, fun times must have an end right? So you were now unable to walk on your last day so you both just talked for hours in the hospital, you were tired then fell asleep.

You gave up fighting your illness while sleeping in the middle of the night. Keqing couldn't sleep for the whole night but seeing you not breathe anymore broke her heart in many pieces.

"I won't forget you until the day I meet you in heaven, I love you Y/N."

Kamisato Ayaka

As the eldest daughter of the Kamisato clan, she of course has a very busy schedule everyday, though her kind brother knows just how much she cares and loves you so he took care of the majority of her work.

The less work she has, the more time she could spend time with you at the hospital.

She would bring fruits and flowers most of the time and sometimes your favourite treats too!

After a few weeks of this routine of visiting you, you were suddenly told that your illness was non longer curable and that you only had a week left.

Ayaka was in denial, she broke down saying "There must be a way, please please just cure them, there must be a way.. I'd do anything! I don't care what the cost is, I just want Y/N healthy."

After the doctor said you can be discharged to spend time with your loved ones right before a week ends, she brought you home.

You had tea time with Ayaka, chatted for hours, went on strolls around Inazuma, hung out with Thoma and her brother Ayato, she even requested for some fireworks from Yoimiya just for you, you both also cuddled for hours on end either reading books together or talking and laughing.

It of course had to come to and end. You were brought to the hospital not even being able to do anything.

You just slept on your bed until you passed in your sleep.

Ayaka was of course in deep denial, but luckily her brother and Thoma stayed the night at the hospital too to comfort her.

"Y/N..I'll never move on from you, you'll be on my mind every second, just wait for me in heaven, love."

Raiden Ei

Her role as the leader of Inazuma is very crucial, though she leaves all the work to the general, Kujou Sara and the maiden, Yae Miko.

She has devoted all her time and care for you ever since you were diagnosed.

The hospital was practically just her first home and her actual home was her 2nd.

She'd always follow your requests, from buying your favourite flowers to buying your favourite figurines and even more.

When the doctor said you only had 1 more week left as your illness was far worst to cure, it hit her.

"Dr, there must be a way. I payed a lot and you can't cure them? You must be lying. YOU CAN AND YOU MUST HEAL THEM."

She had to be stopped by the guards before she went even more furious.

She calmed down and started accepting it and you were said that you could go out right until before a week ends.

You were brought to her home. You spent time in Inazuma strolling around, eating all the food you loved, spending time with everybody, and of course Ei too.

You both cuddled for hours, almost without an end. She knew without you, the world meant nothing to her so she spent all the time with you, to the point where she just didn't sleep those few days, just admiring you.

One night, you were rushed to the E.R. Your pulse was gone while you were sleeping, it was not in fact a week too.

Ei just couldn't even think straight anymore. Right after your death, she shut herself in the plane of euthymia again.

"Why was it you that had to go too."

Jean Gunnhildr

The KOF was very kind enough for taking care of each and every one of Jean's work ever since they were told that you were diagnosed with an illness.

She spent all the time she had with you, bringing in your favourite books from the library, your favourite food, and flowers too.

She was sad enough that you were told to stay in a hospital until you get better, but the news of your illness not being curable and you only had a week left, just left her mind blank.

She didn't know what to do without the love of her life, you.

Until a week ends, you were told that you could stay out of the hospital to spend time with loved ones.

You got to have tea with Jean and Lisa at the library while reading books, hanging out at the tavern with Jean, Rosaria, Diluc and Kaeya and you even got to go flower picking with Jean!

Soon you were brought back to the hospital, passing away in your sleep.

Jean took a month to accept your death and go back to work, getting comforted from time to time by her co-workers.

"You'll be remembered by everybody here and me too. You've impacted a lot on many people Y/N. I'll love you until the day I die."

[iwadori]

Hiiii!!!! can you do like when you guys are supposed to meet up and they waited for about an hour or so and kept texting you you but you haven't replied so they thought you ditched them and got mad at you and stuff then they decided to go home and while on their way home not too far from their school they found you unconscious body with a large wound on you back and your head bleeding?.

can you pleaseease do tsukishima, yamaguchi, ushijima, bokuto (I'm sorry if that's a lot)

Haikyu Boys when you get hurt Pt 2 (Ushijima,Bokuto

Part One Part Two Part Three

Word count: 2.6K

Genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Ushijima

You were having the worst week this week,  from battling a cold and your boss making you do all sorts of extra jobs (that were definitely not under your job description.) As easter was swiftly approaching you and Ushijima had your annual plans of going to the local kids community center and helping them with an easter egg hunt. But you don’t think you can manage it this year.

Ushijima gets home from practice with 4 bags just filled with easter eggs ranging from all different sizes, “woah there Toshi, you’ve got enough there too feed all of england” you laugh  

“I don’t think these eggs will be able to sustain England Y/N” he says seriously making you laugh even harder. As you were laughing, you felt another migraine come along making your cringe in pain. “Toshi, I don’t think I can do the easter egg hunt this year?”  

He sits down next to you alarmed that something is wrong, “why what happened Y/N” he asks

“I’ve been feeling terrible all week, and I even have a migraine right now” you say to him thinking he would understand.

“That’s it?” he questions thinking what you said was a joke “I think you can handle a migraine, remember we’re doing this for the kids”

His words were making you feel slightly guilty since maybe you were being over dramatic. “Y/N if it’s really ‘that bad’, i’ll make you some tea so you can feel better,” he says going into the kitchen to start on your tea. You murmur a quiet “thank you” and you end up falling asleep, hoping that by the time you wake up your head stops pounding.

As you wake up, you realise you slept all the way through the night and over to the next day as when you look at your clock it says 12:32 pm. You look at your nightstand and saw that Ushijima wrote you a note saying:  

Y/N I've left out early to set out the easter egg hunt, I’ve made you breakfast so eat up and get prepared for the event which starts at 4pm. Please don’t forget.

Sincerely – Ushijima Wakatoshi.

You chuckle at the fondness of the note, before realising your pain. Your brain felt like it was having a live concert inside that definitely was not going to end soon but you still got up prepared for the day. You didn’t want to let Ushijima or the kids down.  

When you go to the kitchen , you see the cute breakfast that Ushijima made you consisting of all of your favourite foods and with another simple note of him saying ‘ I love you. ‘ Ushijima has always been a lovely boyfriend, treating you like the queen you are always making sure that you were okay. Of course, his bluntness and his lack of social cues was something to get used to but when you did get accustomed to it, it only made you fall in love with him more.

You got ready, feeling even more sick as the piping hot shower that you usual have, did not help as when you were showering you felt heavily faint. However, you persevered since you did not want to let Ushijima down.

You finally were prepared to leave the house, with the community center being on 15 minutes walk away you were leaving out at 3:50pm since you were planning to take your car anyways. When you leave your home, you realise that you forgot your car keys so you dash up the stairs (a bit too quickly) to go and find them. Scrambling through your draws, your head is pounding harder and harder and the more it pounds the quicker your moving making you even more faint. You eventually find your keys and you’re ready to zoom to the community center but your body gave out and you pass out tumbling down the stairs landing at your front door.

Ushijima was waiting outside of the community center waiting for you to arrive it was 4:05pm and he was wondering where you were (knowing that your place was only a 10 minute drive away) he sent you a few texts asking where you were but when you don’t respond Ushijima becomes slightly annoyed, plastering a fake smile on his face and entering the community center, starting the easter egg hunt.

The easter egg hunt came to a close at 8pm and Ushijima assumed that you would’ve showed up some time in the middle of the event, but you obviously didn’t show. After making sure that all the kids left safely Ushijima decided to call and text you more and when you continuously don’t respond and your calls go to voicemail he says ‘Y/N, im really disappointed with you right now. How could you do this to me? You said you would show up, the kids were really upset, how could you be so selfish?’

He walks to your house knocking on the door, but when you don’t immediately answer he knew something must be up now, since you haven’t responded to any of his texts and calls and didn’t show up he figured there was something deeper then you just ditching the event.

He used his key to open the door, surprised when the door hit something. He tried again hitting the ‘object’ that was laying at the door again. He carefully pushes the door to make enough room for him to fit through the gap. When he entered, he was startled at the sight of you, there you lay completely knocked out with a blood stain next to your head. He knelt down next to you and touched your cheek you were extremely cold, he had to get you to a hospital stat. He called an ambulance, panicked. Worrying about how long you’ve been out for since it would have to be atleast more than 4 hours he assumed.

You woke up in a foreign room, with your head slightly stinging. You place your hand on the back of your head and wince, then you remember you need to be at the easter egg hunt so you bolt up ready to move.  

“I don’t think that’s wise for you to do that Y/N” Ushijima says to you  

“Toshi, what happened?” you ask still in pain

“It seems you fell down the stairs and hit your head” after he said that all your memories come flooding back, and you remember rushing to the community centre, looking for your keys, and then falling down the stairs and everything going black.

“I’m sorry Ushi for missing the easter egg hunt, I really tried to get there,” you say with an apologetic look on your face  

“It’s fine Y/N of course you wouldn’t of been able to get there after falling down the stairs” he says “Also, this is proof of why you shouldn’t run down the stairs”

You eventually get discharged with the doctor telling you all you need to do is rest and stay off your feet. Ushijima took the doctor's orders very seriously, becoming your loyal servant and waiting on you hand and foot, tending to your every need. He did also make you were eating healthy and taking all your medicine so you could have the best recovery possible.  

Also, after realising that this could’ve all been avoided if Ushijima didn’t guilt trip you in the first place for having a migraine, he made sure to never ignore or dismiss when you say you are ill or have anything wrong with you even if it’s a migraine, a lost limb or a simple paper cut.

Bokuto  

The Olympics were coming up and Bokuto couldn’t be any more excited than he already was. Everything he’s talked about for the past month he manages to find a way to relate to the Olympics, and as annoying as it got sometimes you were just as excited for it as much as Bokuto was.  

Bokuto was heavily busy with extra practices so you were bored and lonely, since your boyfriend was at practice all the time so you chose to take up a new hobby. You decided to paint, although you weren’t an award-winning painter you still found joy in it. Being Bokuto’s girlfriend you had some slight unwanted attention on you: the usual fans of Bokuto that just followed you to have an extra aspect of him in their life's, or his fangirls that adored him.  

You didn’t mind the fangirls for the most part since majority of them were pretty tamed and did fawn over your relationship. However, there was the minority of fans that did make it known to you that they DID NOT like you at all. When you started posting your paintings, it seems their hate for you amplified since they always found the need to leave an astray of mean comments on your post. But that didn’t mainly bother you since you thought that they only had that energy behind the screen.

The days went by getting closer to the Olympics, with Bokuto always asking you every day “Y/N you are coming to my games, right?” to which you always replied “Of course Kou, I’m coming” which always made him smile.

When the Olympics came, you’ve went to all the games cheering Bokuto and the team on as they were winning round after round. Whilst this was going on, the group of girls that were sending you horrible messages and making mean posts about you weren’t stopping. At first, you didn’t care for them but it seems their posts only gotten worse making comments about your artwork, your face, your body type ect.  

You didn’t want to tell Bokuto as you felt that it would ruin his Olympic momentum and you thought you could handle it all on your own.  

It was nearing to the final game of the Olympics, and Bokuto was ecstatic he made sure that you promised you’d be there claiming that you was his ‘good luck’ charm.’ You were excited to go too, the feeling of watching Bokuto play was exhilarating seeing him fully in his element was great for you to see.

On the last game day, Boktuo was already at the stadium since him and the team had to be there earlier to practice and you planned to meet him there just before the game started at 4:30. You went to a florist before the match getting Bokuto the biggest boquet that you could buy.  

On your way to the stadium you here somebody whistle from behind you, you turn around and see a group of girls waiting behind you smirking. “Hi?” you say more like a question then a statement “do you want something from me?”

Some of them laugh, but the one standing at the front who you mentally lable the ‘main one’ steps closer to you and says “We want you to stay away from Bokuto” you realise that these were the girls sending you hate online for these past weeks.

Before you can even blink, the girls jump you, hitting, kicking and clawing at you. You are in pain, screaming and crying for them to stop and leave you alone. You lay there, letting them beat you up thinking that you’ll probably end up dead out of this. All you can think about is Bokuto, you didn’t get to wish him good luck, or give him your flowers (that you spent a fortune on) or even tell him that you loved him one last time.

You think the girls eventually stopped but you couldn’t tell because your body was throbbing and you hurt all over. You tried to get up still wanting to go to the match but you collapse going out cold.

Bokuto was scanning the crowd over and over for you, hoping to spot you there. But he couldn’t, he was wondering where you were getting sadder and sadder by the second since he really believed you were his good luck charm and he probably wouldn’t be able to win without at least seeing your face once.

They didn’t win. Bokuto knew he wasn’t playing at his best, since all his mind was on was thinking about where you were. You’ve never missed one of his games, so he was incredibly worried. After he accepted his second-place medal, he rushed out the stadium to go to your house but he was stopped by some fangirls ‘I guess signing autographs is the least I can do’ he thinks, the fans were being a bit odd today but he didn’t have time to focus on that as his mind was racing thinking about you and your whereabouts.  

One of his fans did give him an alarmingly big boquet of roses which he appreciated ‘these must of cost a fortune’ he thinks. Although it was a probably a long shot, he decided to ask the fan if he saw someone who looked like *whatever you look like* to maybe see if someone else saw you. Which the fan replied “yeah I saw them with some guy at this restaurant whilst we were going to see you!” they exclaimed.

‘A guy’ he thought ‘that most likely wasn’t you.’ Seeing Bokuto’s confusion, the fan followed up with “I'm pretty sure it was her I mean we all know who Bokuto Koutaro’s girlfriend was.” Bokuto didn’t reply just walking away making sure to thank them for the flowers.  

He was rushing towards your house on foot (since all the taxi’s and ubers were fully booked because of the Olympics) whilst running he stumbles across your passed out body all black and bruised with scratch marks and bleeding all over you. “what happened” he whispered, knowing you obviously weren’t going to respond.  

He picked up your near-dead body, and cradled you in his arms taking you back to the stadium (since he knew that getting an ambulance to come here or running to the hospital would basically be impossible.) When he got back to the stadium, he did get odd looks from strangers but he didn’t care, his only agenda was making sure you were okay.

You woke up, and saw Bokuto pacing the room repeatedly you tried to get his attention by saying his name but your throat was damaged. He eventually notices you and runs to your side, stroking your face softly and giving you a gentle hug making sure not to hurt you.  

“Who did this Y/N?” he asks with worry in his eyes  

You ignore his question and look at the silver medal wrapped around his neck making you sad “I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the match, I tried I really did try” you said with your voice sounding even worse after you said every word.  

“Don’t be silly, I’m just glad that you’re okay babe, I was really worried about you.” he said

The Medic came in and said that you had multiple broken ribs, but beside that you were fine you just needed to rest your throat and let your bruises heal. You eventually told Bokuto that it was some of his fans, he was upset that you hid this from him for so long but he was just glad that he got to you as soon as he did. He managed to play at the next Olympics and you were there fully present, with your even bigger boquet of flowers watching win gold.

Authors Note: I tried to make it as close to your request as possible, but I hope you enjoy as I really do think this is my favourite work so far.... :3 Comments and feedback appreciated.

[storiesofsvu]

Romance headcanon with Rita or Heather maybe? (or both, both is fine too...)

I'm doing Heather cause I'm sick of Rita rn (yes, she is still my wife. yes i still love her. she is just on vacation rn)

the thing with Heather Dunbar and romance is that she knows exactly just how to wine and dine you.

she knows all of the super hot, ritzy, up and coming places around Washington and the other areas she frequents

hell, she probably has a private jet and isn't afraid of whisking you off to Napa Valley for a private dinner in a private vineyard.

the courting period with Heather is FULL of gifts, fancy date nights, expensive hotels, you come home to find your apartment FULL of roses, a little cheeky note from her.

i'd say you start out with a date at least once every two weeks, she is a busy woman after all, and then it starts to be every week, and then multiple times a week, especially if sleepovers are involved.

she'll either cook or order in a lavish brunch/breakfast. she likes to cook for you, but if she's got to run off to work, leaving you sleeping in her bed, she'll make sure something gets ordered for you once you're awake

but here's the *other* thing with Heather Dunbar:

when she is sure that you're someone she wants to spend her time with, that you're someone she's serious about, she can drop the facade. she notices that as much as you enjoy all the fancy nights, you're not in it for the money and extravagance, you're in it for her.

the real romantic Heather comes with the Sunday morning lazy gentle wake up as the sun streams through the curtains, leaving sleepy kisses on your skin as you start to come to.

it shows through with her fixing your coffee just how you like it, the two of you in cozy pyjamas as you whip up an easy breakfast, sneaking little bites of fruit as you cut it up.

it shows in the way she remembers the little things. you mention loving a specific movie or play, and you'll find a pair of tickets with a single rose left on your doorstep. she tells you to go with your best friend, she'll pick you up afterwards.

it comes through in the very protective momma bear way, she'll *always* have your back, and will do anything to keep you safe. she values your safety almost more than her own. she will literally hunt down and fight anyone who's hurt you.

if you are physically hurt/sick/in the hospital she's going to be super worried, and then not leave your bedside until your discharged. she's going to make sure you've got the best nurses on your team, the highest quality food and a private room.

she's then going to make sure you're comfy at home and very well taken care of. all the snuggles and kisses curled up on the couch.

it comes through in the late nights after dinner, when she's working away in the home office and you patter in, snuggling into her lap telling her to come to bed, and she simply smiles, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose and closes her folder, stumbling back to the bedroom with you.

[disgruntledspacedad]

Jayyy!! Sweet, slutty in the AM.

Without giving BL spoilers, or maybe you won't? Idk 👀👀 not *cough* fishing or anything *cough*

Can I please have 💖 for Javier??? I'm curious...

Angel out-

Javiears pregnancy headcanons? You got it, babe!

Quick and obvious disclaimer to treat all of these as if they are a Better Love AU, at least until I tell you otherwise. 😘

Any baby that these two have would be a total surprise. Ears never wanted kids, and Javi has never thought long enough about it to decide how he feels about a family. He’s always assumed that was never in the cards for him.

Once the initial shock wears off - and that’s gonna take quite a while for both of them - Javi and Ears both jump feet first into the parenting thing. They each harbor some intense opinions about what a kid should and shouldn’t have to put up with, and there are lots of deep conversations that Last into the early morning hours. They nail down the important stuff pretty early, decide that they’ll figure out the rest with time, and discover a whole lot more about one another in the process.

Ears’ body hates being pregnant. She doesn’t realize it, but she’s got her Ashkenazi ancestry to thank for this. Ears is sick as dog snot clear through her first trimester and well into her second, exhausted and achy and throwing the fuck up. She gets awful migraines, too. There are days when Javi is convinced that carrying this baby is going to kill her, and he worries a lot.

Ears handles all of this as stoically as she can. She’s miserable, but she’s not about to complain and make Javi feel even worse.

Speaking of Javi, that protective streak he’s got goes into overdrive the instant Ears tells him about the baby. Ears has got to constantly remind him that she’s pregnant, not dying, and Javi good god, please just let me do things, okay??

That being said, it takes Javi a little while to connect the idea of Ears being pregnant to Ears carrying his baby. It’s all very abstract to him, to the point that on Ears’ worst days, Javi almost feels a little resentful.

That all changes at Ears’ sixteen week appointment. She’s just starting to feel like a human again, and this time, Javi is allowed to go back with her.

Oh my god, you guys, when Javier Peña sees that blurry, black and white, tiny little baby on the ultrasound screen... yall, his entire world shifts.

Ears notices instantly. It’s kind of hard not to, given how tightly Javi is suddenly gripping her hand. He glances over at him to find his eyes glued to the screen, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. It takes her aback a little. “You okay?” she asks quietly, and Javi nods, drags his eyes away from the ultrasound screen and gives her a soft, wet smile, and something slots into place for Ears, too.

Javi quits smoking cold turkey that day. Seeing his tiny little daughter for the first time put a lot of things into perspective, and Javi decides then and there that he wants to be there for her as long as possible.

The first three weeks are miserable. Javi does his best to get out of the house when he’s feeling tetchy (which is always), and Ears does her best to be understanding, but they get into more than a few little spats.

The makeup sex is 🔥🔥🔥, though.

Ears is not a big girl. When she starts to show, she shows fast, and Javi swears he can see her body change every day. Ears is pretty indifferent. She’s not self conscious - Ears finds pregnancy to be inconvenient, more than anything.

Javier Peña has never seen anything as beautiful as Hannah Aarons carrying his child.

Javi fucking loves it. There’s something primal about running his hand over the gentle swell of Ears’ belly and knowing that it’s his daughter that’s growing there. He’s not one to talk to the bump, but Javi can hardly stop himself from touching it. All the fucking time. Ears will sometimes playfully shoo him away. “Hands to yourself, you animal. I’m trying to nap!”

Seriously, their sex life doesn’t suffer at all. It doesn’t help that Ears refuses to buy maternity clothes. She’d much rather lounge around in Javi’s t-shirts and his old sweats, something that makes Javi’s cave man brain damn near implode every single time he sees it.

Ugh, and he’s sweet to her. Observant and affectionate and accommodating of absolutely everything. Cravings? Tell me what you want, babe, I’ll get three. Foot massage? Come here, mi reina, let me make it better. Yawning through dinner? Go get in bed, Ears, I’ve got dishes tonight.

Javi starts noticing Ears’ puffy feet somewhere around the 28th week or so. Ears swears they don’t hurt, exactly, so they both write it off as one of those weird pregnancy things.

It’s not. Ears has severe pre-eclampsia. Javi only finds this out after Ears gets a migraine so bad that she can’t see straight. Javi carries her to the car and forces her to go to the hospital. They’re there for all of five minutes when the doctor on call deems Ears’ blood pressure to be high enough to constitute a medical emergency, and Javi’s world is turned upside down again when he hears the word “c-section.”

Ears is only 33 weeks pregnant.

Less than an hour later, Javi is holding his baby girl. She’s tiny, the tiniest little human that Javi has ever seen, but she’s got a hell of a set of lungs on her, and Javi has never been so relieved, so stunned, so riveted, or so enraptured by anything in his entire life.

Oh, shit, he’s crying again.

She’s absolutely perfect. Off her oxygen within two days, taking feedings like a champ, and obliterating every goal her pediatrician sets for her.

Javi is so fucking proud when his girl is discharged a full week earlier than the doctors anticipated. She’s still a little small, but growing like a weed, and Javi just knows that between her and her mom, he’s gonna have his hands full.

Ears is fine, just a little sore. There are no long term complications from pre-eclampsia, so as soon as she’s up and sort of moving, Ears in full mom mode.

Ears loves being a mom, but she and Javi are in full agreement on this - one and done.

[sarcasm-with-a-side-of-fries]

My girl

Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan & Cory Reid (OC), Spencer Reid & Cory Reid (OC)

(Song fic based on “my girl” by Elvie Shane) 

Authors note/background- Spencer Reid never joins the FBI, he’s a professor at Georgetown university. Derek Morgan is still in the BAU and the BAU members do pop up.Cory is the result of a past “relationship” Spencer was in, her mother is never mentioned because she abandons Cory and Spencer right after Cory is born.He meets Derek at the coffee shop they both happen to frequent. Cory looks like her mother (it’s why she has red hair and blue eyes, although again it’s never mentioned)

She ain’t got my smile that don’t bother me a bit and she’s got somebody else’s eyes I’m seeing myself in.

The red haired, Hazel eye little girl holds tightly onto Spencer’s hand. He had explained to her (the best he could, seeing that she is only four) that he had someone he wanted her to meet.

I’m holding onto every moment god knows I’ve missed a few the day we meant I knew I had some catching up to do.

The first time they meet Cory is a little hesitant, eyeing him with a look that reminds him so much of Spencer. He’s worried for a while that she won’t like him.

“She’ll warm up to you.”

He gives her a small stuffed dog and when the night ends she hugs him before she runs off to bed.

“Told you she'd warm up to you.” Spencer remarks later that night.

“Yeah, I guess you did.” Derek agrees, kissing Spencer temple.

“Did you just admit that I was right?” The mischievous smile that works its way onto Spencer’s face is honestly terrifying.

“Yes and I’m already regretting it.”

She ain’t my blood, ain’t got my name but if she did I’d feel the same I wasn’t there for her first steps but I ain’t missed a moment yet and,

They’ve met four times when Cory decides that Derek must have hung the stars when he lets her ride on his shoulders at the carnival, something Spencer ever so careful would never do.

“Papa, I'm so tall!” She exclaims giggling wildly when Derek pretends to almost drop her.

“Derek be careful-!”

“Relax pretty boy. I’m not actually going to drop her, right Cory?”

“Mhm! Relax papa!” They both laugh at that.

By the end of the day Cory had been completely tuckered out and Derek had moved her down from his shoulder to his hip.

That ain’t ever gonna change I could never walk away yeah she’s my baby my whole world.

“Cory’s asking about you.” Spencer tells Derek over lunch. “I don’t think she understands your job.”

“You could bring her to mine tonight, Clooney’s a general giant who loves kids.”

“Sure.”

Cory falls in love with Clooney the moment she meets him, nicknaming him ‘cloon’ because she can’t pronounce Clooney and it’s too adorable to correct.

“Night night cloon night night Derek.” She mumbles that night patting Derek’s chest tiredly, a familiar small stuffed dog gripped tightly in her hand. Derek hadn’t even realised she’d brought it with her.

“She has dragged it everywhere since you left on that case two weeks ago.” Spencer murmurs with an amused smile.

“Huh.” Derek responds with a smile on his face.

She ain’t my blood but she’s my girl, Yeah she’s my girl.

He’s known Cory for seven months the first time he watches her alone for longer than an hour. Spencer was asked to give a lecture at a college in New York and her normal sitter was sick.

The day went easily, having taken her to the park and then for ice cream before retiring for the day. If you’d told him eight months ago he’d know the lyrics to just about every Disney song very soon he’d have called you crazy but… here he is.

Thumb in mouth Cory curls up with Derek her head against his shoulder. “Papa smile more.” She tells him and he’s confused. “You.” She says. “Him smile more.” And or doesn’t make much sense or maybe it doesn’t. “Good.” He doesn’t get the chance to question her because she drops off to sleep shortly after.

He carries her to the the guest bedroom that isn’t much of a guest bedroom anymore considering the toys, blue blankets and child clothes that can now be seen.

It hit me like a train the first time she called me dad (pops) in a three stick figure crayon picture with all of us holding hands.

Her mama (papa) said I understand if it’s too soon for this oh I didn’t let her (him) finish I took it to the kitchen and stuck it right on the fridge.

It's been almost a year when she goes to Derek’s house from school with a scribbled picture and bright smile. She places the picture next to Derek before running off down the hall in search of her stuffed dog and action figures.

Derek picks it up and freezes for a moment staring at the page with an unreadable expression. Spencer sees him from the corner of his eye and crosses the room looking over Derek’s shoulder.

It’s the three of them at the park, she’s standing between them holding each of their hands. That however isn’t the part that caused them to pause, it was what she’d written. They are labeled, ‘me’ , ‘papa’ , ‘pops’ the top of the page dawned with the words ‘my family’

“Oh.” Spencer breathes out. “Look I understand if…” Derek shakes his head standing up with a small smile, sticking the picture among the many others that now littered his fridge.

From that day on he’s pops.

She ain’t my blood, ain’t got my name but if she did I’d feel the same I wasn’t there for her first steps but I ain’t missed a moment yet and that ain’t ever gonna change I could never walk away,

The first time she sees him in a hospital is heartbreaking, her eyes full up with tears. “Pops.” She calls out sobbing when her comatose pops doesn’t respond.

“He’ll wake up.” Spencer says though he isn’t sure who he’s reassuring by that point.

“He was hit hard but he should wake up.” David Rossi, Derek’s team member who Spencer has come to know over the past year and two months. “Always has to play hero.” Rossi adds with a head shake before leaving the two alone.

It’s six hours later when Derek does wake up. “Spence?” He croaks out.

“You're awake! Oh thank god. Don’t you ever think about doing anything like that ever again Derek Morgan or so help me-“

“Move in with me. Both of you, move in with me.”

“What?” Spencer is dumbfounded.

“You heard me.” And Spencer almost laughs at the oddity of the situation.

“I’ll move in with you if you promise never to leave me. Us.” He motions over to where Cory is sleeping.

“Never gonna leave you.” Derek promises.

When Cory wakes she ends up crawling into the hospital bed with Derek (screw protocol) and refuses to let go of his shirt until he’s discharged four days later.

Yeah she’s my baby my whole world she ain’t by blood but she’s my girl.

The Reid’s official move in a month later, waving goodbye to their small D.C apartment with no tears shred.

“Pops. Papa.” Cory says wiggling her way between them on the couch.

“What are you doing up Angel?” Derek asks.

“Dunno.”

They laugh at the sheer honesty but don’t send her away letting her fall asleep with them. Spencer eventually carried her to bed, making sure not to forget her stuffed dog.

She’s Saturday morning cartoons.

The sound of hysterical laughter is heard throughout the house rousing Spencer from his sleep and prompting him to pad into the living room.

Derek is sitting on the couch half asleep, Cory sat on his lap intently watching ‘bubble guppies’ and petting Clooney.

Spencer smiles and if he snaps a picture, no one needs to know.

She’s hey can I sleep in your room?

Cory learns to hate when Derek leaves for cases, sometimes going as far as throwing tantrums when he tries to say goodbye but that never changes her response to him coming home. No matter how mad she was at him for leaving.

Derek comes home close to midnight and doesn’t expect to see Cory until morning but is mistaken as she’s sitting up on the couch in the living room when he enters the house. “I made the mistake of telling her that you were on your way home.” Spencer explains, which cues Cory in on Derek’s arrival.

“Pops!” She turns around standing on the couch and reaching out insistently. “Your home.”

“Hey Princess, of course I am. I always come home.” Spencer smiles fondly.

“Can I sleep with yous?” She asks looking between Derek and Spencer innocently.

“Of course you can Cory.” Spencer says walking over to kiss Derek.

“Yuck!” They both laugh loudly.

She’s bigger than the plans I ever had. She's making me a better man.

“I never thought I’d get this.” Derek tells Spencer one night.

“Hmm?” Spencer prompts wrapping himself around Derek.

“This.” He motions around. “You and Cory.”

“I thought it would always just be me and Cory.” Spencer admits. “No one wants to date a single dad who’s a college professor with a past off… expect you did.”

“You're not your past Spencer.”

“And you're not yours.” They don’t address the true meaning of the sentence instead Derek smiles, lifting a sleeping Cory into his arms and heading down the hall.

She ain’t my blood, ain’t got my name but if she did I’d feel the same I wasn’t there for her first steps but I ain’t missed a moment yet and that ain’t ever gonna change I could never walk.

The wedding is in June, they’d been together for two and a half years when they decided to get married.

Cory is the flower girl, Henry the ring barrier.

Derek’s team is there, his mother and sisters too.

Spencer mom is there, along with a few of his professor friends.

Hotch is Derek’s best man, his groomsmen and woman being Penelope and James.

Reid’s best woman is JJ, his groomsmen and woman being Emily and Rossi.

It’s a small thing really.

There’s a party afterwards.

“Papa lap.”

“Cory I’m eating.” He tells her with a stern look.

“Pops lap.”

“I’m eating too princess.” He responds. Still not deterred she pushes Derek’s arm out of the way and climbs into his lap successfully seeing as Penelope had changed her out of her suit before dinner. (She had refused a dress and neither of her fathers saw it necessary to force her into clothes she doesn’t want.) “Alright fine.” Derek huffs although there’s no heat in his voice.

“Pushover.” Spencer mummers into his wine glass ignoring the glare his husband shot him. “Cory, do you want your own plate of food?” Spencer asked and got his answer when she shook her head instead picking food off of their plates.

Yeah she’s my baby my whole world, she ain’t my blood but she’s my girl.

It’s six months later when they all sit in a family court room, their friends and family sitting on the public benches behind them.

They sign the papers in front of everyone and then the judge announces loudly, “I hereby declare Cory Reid-Morgan adopted.”

They go out for ice cream as a large group to celebrate, Cory happily running around with Jack and Henry afterwards.

When it’s time for everyone to leave Cory demands to be picked up by Derek who complies. She rests her head on his shoulder and quietly murmurs. “I love you.”

“I love you too princess.”

“To the moon and back?”

“A million times.” Spencer comes up from behind wrapping his arms around Derek's waist and resting his chin on the shoulder not occupied by Cory’s head.

“Love you Derek.”

“Love you too Spencer.”

Yeah she’s my girl.

[hey-hamlet]

I made an AU but Tumblr won't let me send the whole thing and I'm impatient

Well, fuck my need for privacy, because none of my friends really “love” BNHA like I do, and the limit for Tumblr anonymous asks are apparently “five” and I want some feedback (and validation. I admire you a lot and love your works, hamlet. God, I’m a mess) So, here we go. 

I’m just going to call this AU “The ‘Quirkless’ Givers” AU. So, in this BNHA AU, most people who gain quirks lose a piece of the humanity they and their anncestors once had. Sometimes it’s their intelligence, sometimes it’s their empathy, sometimes it’s their bravery. 

It’s part of the reason why so many people with strong quirks don’t apply them well or become selfish heroes.

However, Quirkless people, or people with weak/invisible quirks? They’re the most human of humanity, and that’s to say, while they may not be the strongest or most clever, their empathy is very strong. While some don’t show it, they all have a heightened sense of emotional awareness. Basically, a case of “you gain some, you lose some”.

The only setback? Most quirkless people do not live over twenty. Quirklessness is considered a disease, because in some ways, it is. 

See, quirkless people may be emotionally strong and aware, their bodies aren’t. All quirkless people are born “sick”. They all seem to have some sort of illness that drains their weakened bodies of its energy, until eventually, their bodies gives up. Because of this, most quirkless people remain in hospitals.

It only adds to the pre-existing myth that “Quirklessness is contagious” (it really isn’t), so the people who live past twenty don’t get to live long, often taking their own lives.

Except… they aren’t quirkless. Not really. And only one person knows this.

Quirkless people actually have the ability to give their energy, their happiness, their well-being to others- all at the cost of their own. And when you live in a hospital, there’s plenty of people to give it to.

Midoriya Izuku was born Quirkless and sickly. Before he turned four, he often played with the other kids at his school who were often accident-prone. (He’d visit everyone when they were sick and/or at the hospital. Some kids who observed fatally injured were miraculously cured/healed. I wonder why… )

Anyways, when he was diagnosed “Quirkless”, Inko immediately rushed Izuku to the hospital to see if he had “the disease”. Unfortunately, he observed several symptoms. 

Fortunately, though, he was told that, while he would probably have to stay in the hospital in his teenage years, he could, for now, stay at home and go outside.

Cue Izuku walking around town and helping everyone he can. He actually runs into a lot of (future) Class 1-A like this, as well as two very familiar black-haired and yellow-haired teachers… hm…

His friends either avoid him (because of the stigmas around “Quirklessness”) or treat him like glass. Bakugo tries this, too, and at this point, he’s Izuku’s only friend, so Izuku sets him straight… by clocking him with his fist. (He got in trouble, but it fixed his relationship with “Kacchan” by reassuring him “I may not become a hero by your side, but I can help where I can and I’m strong enough to hold my own”.) 

As his little “walks” continues, his health deteriorates and it stresses out his mom. He’s actually hospitalized at the early age of eleven. The symptoms just got worse faster than the doctors thought they would. 

The Bakugos and Inko visit Izuku frequently (Inko and Kacchan: daily, the rest of the Bakugos every weekend). Occassionally, one of his school friends will come hang out… from a distance (and we thought misinformation was bad in this day and age). Kacchan will come and drop off schoolwork/homework, because Izuku was dropped off the school registry, because the school decided, with Izuku bedridden, there’d be no point in continuing his education. Izuku and Kacchan were very salty.

Anyways, Izuku meets many people who are in need of help, love, and encouragement during his stay. Whenever he’s allowed to (or if he decides to sneak out), he’ll walk around and help visitors and reassure them that things will be alright. Somehow, the people he visits are discharged early for somehow recovering so quickly… hm… 

(He also meets Todoroki Rei during his time there and quickly befriends her. She laments to him of a husband who she loves but keeps her caged here. Soon enough, she gains enough mental fortitude and courage to stand up and speak against her husband, with the help of Lawyer Mamadoriya. Soon, Endeavor has his licence temporarily revoked (there’s only so much she can do) and her children are in her custody. Izuku is suddenly visited weekly by Rei and her kids, including Dabi, because I subscribe to “Dabi=Todoroki Touya”)

Anyways, fast forward, Izuku is fifteen, and UA’s USJ has been attacked. The damage is devistating, and UA is actually shut down for a whole week because of it. Izuku watches as a bunch of 1-A’s students and two of their teachers are wheeled in (he recognizes all of them, except for Thirteen, from his past hero-hunting days.)

That day, he visits Todoroki and Bakugo after they’re removed from the ICU. He sees how devistated they are and how badly their classmates and teachers are hurt, and decides, since he’s stuck at the hospital anyways, he might as well do his best to keep the other students and teachers happy and help where he can.

(He doesn’t live past the week. He knows he won’t, but he doesn’t care.)

In the end, he dies clutching Aizawa’s perfectly healed hand the day before Aizawa is discharged. 

The next week, school starts up for them again, but every 1-A student and teacher attends the funeral of a fifteen year-old boy who died saving them all.

And to this day, you’ll still hear them herald the tale of a green-haired boy who gave all that he had to them, until he was left with nothing.

(What they won’t tell you is that he wrote each of them a letter. A letter explaining his hopes, his dreams, his passion, and how he wished them the best. However, they will tell you that he is now the dead author of “The Givers”, a book that explains the true condition of the Quirkless. And in the end, the thing he gave most of? Hope. He gave hope to the people who lost theirs.)

Woo, this one was fun. It’s mostly just tidbits and scenes I thought up throughout my day. I hope you like it. I think I’ll write about it, but like I said, I want some feedback from someone who’s actually watched (and likes) BNHA. (Also, what dignity? There’s none here! ;v;) Also, please tell me if there’s something I need to fix. It’s currently one AM, and my creativity might not sleep, but my grammatical skills and logic sure can.

PS: If I could go on a rant on how much I love you and your work, I would. Maybe I will. Just needed to let you know before I disappear off the face of Tumblr again. 

From Hamlet: 

AHH BRO IM CRYING HHHH I LOVE THIS,,,, bru him,,, the truest hero - giving his everything to save people no matter the cost,,,, i love this also bruh the p a i n this is so sweet dude 

b r u h 

[ma-gic-gay]

A few hours, two kisses, and one nap later, he begins plotting his escape. It mainly consists of signing a discharge form and then hunting down Cyrus. Then, he'll kill him. Fairly simple, and does provide a good distraction from the chaos his personal life has become. His business/mob life has been fairly normal, no new competitors yet.

"What are you planning?" Carly asks, looking up from the iPad she's probably planning Morgan's return from the dead party on.

"How long until I can get out of here?" Hospital rooms inspire him to run very far away from them. They keep him cooped up, they're boring as all hell, and there's really no choice as to who can walk in at any given time.

"Probably tomorrow," she answers and he groans. "It's not the end of the world, Jason. It's one more night in a hospital bed." Debatable. It's a whole twelve hours, minimum.

"Or I could just sign my discharge form now and break out of here."

"No, you need to stay at least for tonight. Break out tomorrow."

"I don't want to."

"Just let them monitor you. Sleep. You won't be able to do much out there anyways. I'm pretty sure the doctors are going to tell you to relax and take it easy, which means taking a short leave of absence. Brando can handle it for a few more days."

"There could be a takeover-"

"Not without any talk. Come on, if I thought there was any threat, I'd be breaking you out of here myself," she reminds him. "Take a nap."

"I'm not sure that's the best decision." Actually, it's more time that he'd be a suspect in Cyrus's murder (that, rest assured, he will commit) and more time Cyrus gets to breathe the same air as him. "Stop the thoughts about it being unsafe because you're not going to be able to do anything. You're recovering from surgeries and a gunshot wound."

"I'm perfectly capable of doing everything," he responds, fidgeting again with the stupid IV. He'll break that thing out of him if that's what it takes.

"I'm sure you are, but stop pouting. Sleep. Take a nap. Enjoy your break from reality for a day or two and just relax," Carly reasons. You know it's bad when Carly's being the reasonable one.

"This isn't pouting, it's captivity."

"No one's holding you captive."

"I'm being forced to be in a room against my will. This could be a hostage situation," he says dramatically.

"Well, as cute as your pouting is, you're spending the night. Take a nap. Enjoy it," she smiles. "Oh, and by the way, you're not killing Cyrus."

There's a lot to take in there but we'll start with the obvious: "I didn't even say I was planning on it."

She rolls her eyes, "You didn't have to, I can see the plan formulating in your mind. No murder. Cyrus will live for the rest of his miserable life in prison without you sending someone to rough him up or kill him."

Sometimes it's a shame how well she knows him. It genuinely sucks sometimes because she can read him like a book. No matter how successful he is at hiding everything from, well, pretty much everyone else, she just rolls her eyes and lets him know exactly what he's doing. Half the time, she knows before he does. The other half, she's informing him it's normal to express your emotions.

"I don't think he should even be able to walk around," he admits, struggling somewhat to voice the hatred he feels for the other mobster. "I've wanted to kill the guy for years, ever since I laid eyes on him. Going after you, kidnapping and raping you as some sort of sick revenge against me was the last straw."

"It was stupid to go after me and he'll pay. For the rest of his life, he'll be in prison. Solitary, you said. He can't run his business in solitary. Cyrus will never be able to hurt me or anyone else again," Carly says, grasping his hand and squeezing it. "He's a piece of shit. I look forward to the day he's in jail, serving his sentence. But it's probably going to be a few weeks."

"Which provides plenty of opportunity-"

"He lives. You're not going to jail because of him, Jason. Cyrus isn't worth it, alright? I don't care if he dies tomorrow. If you go to jail, I'll have to break you out of there myself and that probably won't go too well," she laughs at that. "So, save us all the paperwork and don't kill him. Besides, I confronted him."

She- confronted- "You did what? Carly, that is a man who could kill you and threatened to! He's very much capable of keeping that threat! Did you want to die?"

What inspired her to go confront her kidnapper/rapist? What made her think that was the sane thing to do while he was unconscious in a hospital bed?! She could've died and he can't have that happening because it'd be his fault. It's also such an ugly thought he can't stand to think of it. Carly cannot die.

"I brought guards, I threatened him, I yelled and screamed, I also cried for a while," she summarizes. "And to answer your question, I don't have a death wish. There's children I have to take care of and I'm not done complicating your life yet. I've got at least ten more years left in me."

"You confronted a man who could kill you."

"With guards, Jason."

"That doesn't make it okay! Carly, you can't act like there wasn't a good chance you could've died! You can't reason with people like Cyrus, you can't go in on your own."

"I. Brought. Guards."

"And they could've died too. He took out a whole group of them once, an entire warehouse of the Novak crew."

"You're acting like I didn't know what I was doing! I knew exactly what I was doing and it was either that or wonder if you'd live to tell me I'm being stupid again, Jason. Which choice would you have made?" Carly asks, tears building up in her eyes. No, he's mad, don't start crying. That'll make him sad. No crying, Carly, please don't. "I'm not so unknowledgeable when it comes to the business, you know."

"No, but you don't know how the business works. Things like that, impulsive things, they get people killed! They're the things that cause people to die and not the type you can come back from. You can't be doing things like that and pulling stunts like threatening Cyrus. He has nothing left to lose, which means he has everything to gain. If he can kill you, which is what he wants to do, that'll be a win for him and a final way to get back at me. That's what he wants and you're playing right into it." Jason exclaims. Emotional outbursts are rare for him, which probably made the point more clear. He hopes so. Losing her-

That's a thought almost too painful to bear thinking of.

"I was worried you would die! Jason, I couldn't spend another hour in this room or getting harassed by Sam. I needed to do something, make some statement," Carly argues and he shakes his head. Does she not get it? She could've died.

"And you couldn't go to work at the Metro Court? You had to go and confront a man who wants you dead almost as much as he wants me dead, Carly! It was stupid. You could've died."

"I was safe-"

"You don't get it! Doing that, no matter how many guards are there, isn't safe. I don't care if you had the place full with guards, he wants you six feet under and he wants me even further. What if he shot you? What if he hurt you? What if he killed you?" Emotions just seem to flow out of him like water does down a river at this point, anger and hurt and worry and sadness all combined into one.

"He didn't-"

"Not this time. Next time, he could. You could've gotten hurt or killed or shot at and I'm not going to be the reason for that."

"Well there won't be a next time."

"How can you be so sure about that, Carly? You don't control him. He's his own person; he does what he wants, exactly when he wants, exactly how he wants. And he could've hurt you."

"Every single time you agrees to one of those meetings with him or left to go, seemingly, anywhere, I thought the same thing. He's tried to get to you a million times. But you didn't die."

"I didn't die because I'm aware of the intricacies of the business! You're not and, as much as I'm grateful you're not, I can't have you running around picking fights with people who want you dead, who want me dead."

"Do you want a fake apology?" Carly snaps. "Do you want me to pretend like I didn't know that? I'm all too aware of the fact that everytime I leave the house, I could get shot at and die or that everytime I see you it might be the last time because of your line of work. I am intimately familiar with the anxieties of waiting in a hospital room to see if you're going to wake up or not from yet another injury. You're acting like it's my first day as someone who cares about people in your line of work and you're wrong. It's not. I knew damn well what I was doing and I know you would've done the same if they'd shot me."

Well. He didn't think of that. Anger sort of half drowns inside of him, flopping but still very much there at her beyond dumb move. "You're right. I would've killed him if he'd shot you or hurt you. But that doesn't make that you get to go out and pick fights with him because you're worried. It means you've got to be careful, stay in groups. It means-"

"Don't tell me what I should've done."

"What would you like me to do, congratulate you? Congratulations, Carly, you could've died! You could've died and if I woke up to that knowledge I don't know what I'd do."

"You'd keep surviving. Probably throw yourself into the business even more, to a point I don't think it'd be healthy." Carly shakily says, clearly having thought about it. "You'd tell Donna all about me when she started to forget I existed."

"You've thought of this?" Jason asks, incredulous. "You've thought about what I'd do if you died?"

"When we thought you were gone, I thought about what you would've done if roles were reversed."

There's a solid 20% chance she's pulling at his heartstrings right now to get sympathy and it's working. 100%. She could be completely playing him and he'd believe it at this point.

He hugs her as best as he can in the hospital bed. "I wasn't dead. You're not dead, thankfully. But you can't take risks with your life, not like that. Your kids need their mom. People need you. I'd miss you."

"How nice, I sobbed myself to sleep for weeks because you were gone and you'd miss me." Tugging at the heart, yet again.

"Oh come on, Carly. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, yeah I do."

It's a strange bond they've got (and a strange life he's got), but at least they can count on one thing: their friendship. Hence why kissing and stuff can't mean anything or complicate things. They've been in each other's lives so long, if they dated or something and it went south, he doesn't know if they could bounce back. And that's a terrifying thought, that they could be,,, not friends.

To be continued after I change my tampon and sleep because I'm fucking tired :)

@ryleighjosephine

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 43

Oh, my sweet chili babies, today has been A DAY. I told you yesterday how I got two two-week old kittens, my first of the season. It was very exciting and not too stressful, two week kittens usually go 3-4 hours between feeds, so there is some opportunity for sleeping, and with a pair, feeds typically don't take too long. Sweet adorable kittens, relatively basic bottlefeeding, no problem, right? I did a feed at 1am, a feed at 5am, and set my alarm for 9am. 

A little before eight this morning, I woke up because my phone was blowing up, enough that the vibrating woke me even though the sound was off. My TNR group chat was in a frenzy because a person called our coordinator about a local feral who'd started having kittens on her porch, but then the woman had gone outside, scared the shit out of Mama, and long story short, the cat was running around the yard screaming, with a kitten hanging half out. Not ideal! By the time I caught up with things, two of our trappers were out there but Mama had hit the road, leaving behind one dead kitten, presumably the one she'd had the trouble with, and one alive kitten, placenta still attached, still wet from birth. I talked them through drying and warming the kitten, separating the placenta, etc, all with my brain at about 70% function. It became clear fairly quickly that the mama was not coming back, at least not any time soon, and the baby was getting hungry, so something had to be done. 

I am the only bottlefeeder at our rescue who regularly handles days-old kittens, but even for me, this was a new record. The  other trappers brought him to me, cradled in one's cupped hands, held close to the heating vent. They named him "You're Killin' Me, Smalls," or Smalls for short. He weighed 81 grams at his first feeding, slightly less than two packs of gum, but he was fully furred (full fur means full-term kitten) and rooting energetically. He suckled on the syringe, all good signs for his prognosis, but newborn kittens are shockingly fragile. Smalls needs two hour feeds, all through the day and night. 

After I fed Smalls, I had to separate Amy and Rosa because Amy was exhibiting sibling suckling behavior, which is maladaptive instinct that makes a kitten suckle on anything catlike nearby. Not that bad if it's a blanket or a stuffed toy, but can be very damaging if it is a sibling. So I got out a whole other set of carrier, towels, stuffed toy, heating pad, and set up a second kitten setup. Then I had to feed the girls. They both still have food-change diarrhea, and it was not getting any better. I texted with our vet tech, who suggested more frequent, smaller meals. So all the kittens went onto two hour feeds. 

I realized in the afternoon that I was going to need more kitten formula sooner than I expected, so I went to the pet store by my house. Nobody there, neither customers nor staff, were wearing masks or distancing. Lovely. And they didn't even have KMR, just its cut-rate cousin, PetLac. If I wanted soy formula, I could've gotten it a lot cheaper at Walmart, since it's all they sell. In the parking lot, I got a call from the rescue coordinator. I told her I was having trouble finding KMR. She told me she had a brand new can for me, and also another kitten. A what? I basically asked. Apparently Rosa and Amy had a sibling who somehow got mixed in with the TWENTY FIVE OTHER KITTENS that this farm owner had brought in today. Also, a lot of the kittens were way younger than advertised, which is a big problem when you have three bottlefeeders and twenty bottlefeedees. So I took the can, and the kitten, and that's how I ended up with Jake! 

Jake is a weird puzzle that I haven't figured out yet. He's sick with something, probably something respiratory since he has serious eye goopies, but no other discharge yet. He also seems to loathe being alive. He hates the bottle, he hates the syringe, he hates milk, he hates being weighed or washed. He expresses his hatred by twisting his tiny body in such a way as to attempt to hurl himself into the void and to the ground far below. Once he is in the carrier with Rosa he settles down, but it literally takes twenty minutes to get a teaspoonful of milk into him. The girls aren't much better, honestly, and Smalls is pretty slow but he has the excuse of being zero days old. My four kittens need to be fed every two hours and feeding them takes an hour. It's going to be a long, long week. 

Anyway, I'm going to lay down for an hour and contemplate the hubris of wishing for kittens even though I knew I'd be punished for it. At least they are cute and extremely fluffy, and if I can just keep them alive it will all be worth it. If anybody would like to contribute to the effort, I have an Amazon Wishlist of kitten supplies right here. I especially need Breeders Edge powder, it's expensive but everyone I've talked to says it is the best thing for food change diarrhea. Here's hoping, cause I've gotten pooped on A. Lot today. 

[nadrianne]

Gone with the Petals (Chuuya Nakahara)

You already knew,yet you keep this façade of yours.

You knew he loves someone else, yet you cant bring yourself to stop loving him.

You knew you would die in a few months, yet you still look at him with love and admiration.

You knew that no matter what,You would either die with these feelings for him or live with no particular emotions for him.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" The red haired executive asked as you coughed,covering your white handkerchief with red hue. You nodded in response to your,practically, boss.

"Y-Yes, Sir .." You stuttered,clenching the piece of cloth on your hand. "E-Excuse me for a while" You could feel that the coughing fit would start soon,you slowly feel the petals in your throat.

Chuuya only dismissed you. What he sees was only a sick subordinate. nothing more,nothing less. You knew that. You knew that you're only a subordinate to him.

Walking through the hallway of the Port Mafia Headquarters, you started to feel the wave of dizziness as your vision blurs,soon your surroundings were now enveloped in black.

"The doctors said its Hanahaki Disease. I can't believe this..." The executive, Kouyou Ozaki said as she gracefully sat on the chair beside the hospital bed-which you are currently on.

"A promising subordinate gets this ridiculous excuse of a disease? Tell me, for who do these feelings exist? Tell them immediately about it so it may lessen your burden or yet, Have the operation perform in a few days." Her voice shows concern. You only looked at your superior.

"I'm sorry ma'am... and to answer your question,its for my superior, Nakahara Chuya. It would be impossible for me to tell him what I feel because...I know he already loves someone else."

"I'll have the doctor schedule your operation next week" With that, Kouyou stood up and left the room.

You feel really lonely.

You feel confused.

Should you tell Chuuya about your feelings?

_ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _

The day of the operation comes close... You can't possibly tell him how you feel.

Besides, even if he knew what you feel...He would only reject you.

The woman who captured his heart was still unknown to you. Never have he ever showed us a picture of his lover. I mean who are we, but his underlings working for him?

The door suddenly opened to see the hat wearing executive with his arms full of baskets of fruits.

"Oi, You better be okay. You hear me?" Chuuya said,placing the baskets on the table beside you.

"I have an operation this week,sir. I might need some time off of work" This annoyed Chuuya.

"Look, You are one of those people who are diligent and loyal to the mafia. We can't lose you."

ah... so its just for the Mafia and not for you.

You faked a smile. "Don't worry,sir. I'll be good as new when I recover"

"Call me Chuuya... well Chuuya-san if you like. Anyways,what is your diagnosis ?"

so his Ane-san didn't told him about it.

"Dont worry about me,Chuuya-san" shrugging the topic off. He won't buy it so Chuuya asked Kouyou about the diagnosis.

"She was diagnosed with Hanahaki disease..."

_---------------------_

"Sir- We cant let the patient do that!" You can hear the doctor argue with someone just right out your door.

"Just today! Only today, I'm sure she feels like trapped in this hospital." The manー Chuuya argued back as he opened the door to your room.

"Get up, We are going to go to some places today,Y/n" He said, his look almost terrifying. The doctor was hesistant but your superior glared at him and lets you go only for a day.

First, you went to eat at a local restaurant, a traditional Japanese Cuisine restaurant. You can see the wonderful view of the restaurant's garden as you and Chuuya wait for your orders.

After, Chuuya stopped by a shop. A jewelry shop. He eyed the simple yet expensive diamond necklace.

"Do you think she'll like this?" He asked you as he makes you try the necklace. His face close to yours as he was putting on the necklace,locking it behind your neck. You can feel blood rushing to your cheeks. In the end, Chuuya bought the necklace.

Lastly, You both spent the rest of your day at the Port Side. You look at your superior and smiled.

"Thank you for today,Chuuya-san" at least the pain eased a bit.. He gave you a gentle smile and sat down on the stairs,letting you both have the view of the beautiful sea.

"I brought you here... because.. Y/n.. I want to make you feel better." Chuuya said,his bossy demeanor dropped. You let your head lean on his shoulder, the disease is not only about coughing flower petals.

"Chuuya-san,I have a small favor to ask" you started, the feeling of nervousness sprouts within you.

"Can... you please say 'I Love You' to me?" you asked,knowing its an indirect confession. Chuuya looked like a fish out of water. More or less he was speechless.

"I.. Y/n... You can't make someone say that easily..You can't force someone to love you back." he reasoned, those three words,eight lettered phrase scared him. He doesn't want to give her false hope.

"Y/n... those words. its really special.Besides being in love with someone... is taboo in the mafia. I mean,look at what happened to you!I don't want to give you any false hope. I'm sorry I can't do what you ask of me. " You smiled. You should have expected this answer. He already gave you his answer.

Rejection

_-------------_

Bursting through the executive's office was one of Chuuya's men who are assigned to guard Y/n.

"SIR, Y/N CALLED HER OWN OPERATION OFF AND DISCHARGED HERSELF FROM THE HOSPITAL!" This caught Chuuya's attention.

At the very same time,Kouyou entered his office. Looking back and forth between Chuuya and the guard,she spoke.

"I suggest you go find her. You are the only who can save her,after all." He didn't need to be told twice. He quickly grabbed his coat and hurriedly looks out for you. He first went to the hospital only to see your room being tidied and clean

as if you weren't there in the first place.

He couldn't accept that you just went up and go missing. He rushes out of the building,looking left and right for you. Maybe you havent gone far? He tried to be optimistic. Trying not to let the worse scenarios play his mind while he searches for you.

It felt like he was hit by a bus when the realization dawned at him

"She got diagnosed with Hanahaki Disease"

"Chuuya-san.. can you please tell 'I Love You' to me?"

"SIR, Y/N CALLED THE OPERATION OFF AND DISCHARGED HERSELF FROM THE HOSPITAL"

It was him. You are in love with him and he just realized it now.Countless calls were made, screaming your name in the middle of the busy streets of Yokohama. He couldn't find you. He almost lost hope until he remembers the Port side that you two spent the evening one time.

Out of breath,He arrived at the Port side. Your frail body on the stairs as you quietly watch the sea and ships. Then you spoke.

"You know... I wanted this to be my resting place. I want to die while I hear the large ships going to the port,birds flying over and the waves crash against the sea wall" her voice rang through his head. Seeing her in this state,it broke him.

"I knew I'd die soon.. and I commend you for figuring it out"

"When would you tell me?"

"Does it even matter?You are the one who told me,being in love within the mafia is taboo."

"I could have helped yo-"

"You also said that you cant force someone to love you back. So... tell me,does it even matter if I confessed to you?"

Chuuya couldn't answer you. He didn't know what or how to answer you.

"I would rather die with feelings for you. Knowing that in my life, I loved a man named Chuuya Nakahara... than live but knowing that once... that this," you pointed at you chest, "belonged to the man named Chuuya Nakahara.." you smiled at him sadly. "If only things were different..."

_--------------_

You were found lying peacefully in your bed, flowers-lilacs blossoming out of your chest. it was a gruesome yet fascinating sight. Blood covered the lilacs' petals,staining is beauty as it also stained your now pale,cold,lifeless body.

You were gone

Gone with the petals

[madi2112]

Bureaucracy run amuck

I'm am so upset at Advent Health right now I could scream..

Or cry.

Or both.

I am getting the royal run around from them and there is no end in site.

They have messed up my situation and have left me hanging as to when anything will happen next.

When I was discharged 8 days ago both my Urologist and his P.A. had explained to me what and when the next steps in my treatment plan would be.

I was to receive a call the next day to coordinate with the scheduling department the dates of my Angioplasty surgery.

The plan was to have that done either the following Thursday or Friday. If it was successful and the blockage or damage to my Ureter was resolved then the drainage tube could also be removed.

If it wasn't resolved then an additional surgery would be needed to replace the Ureter.

Sounds like a good plan. My Urologist, his P.A. and myself agreed it was the best course of action.

The next day I was recovering at home but I kept my phone with me at all times.

No call from the scheduling office.

I tried calling them in the afternoon and got a recording saying they were closed and to try again Monday-Friday.

I'm annoyed, but too tired and still fighting some pain to get all worked up about it so I just focused on my recovery until Monday.

On Monday I contacted the scheduling office and was told they had no record of a procedure being ordered. I assured them there was and after being transfered around a few times finally found someone who confirmed the order but told me they were waiting for a return call from the surgeon's office. Once they got that call they would call me back.

They never called back.

So on Tuesday I tried again.

Once more I am transfered to 4 different offices each blaming the other for not having record of the procedure.

Wednesday more of the same. But once again by the end of the day a promise of a call back is made to me.

Now I'm getting very worried. No appointment is confirmed and orginally the procedure itself was supposed to be within the next 48 hours and it's obviously not going to happen.

Thursday abdominal pain and swollen feet send me back to the E.R.

The doctor there orders a CT scan but is intimidated by my medical history and is clueless on why my feet are huge.

Even I know why. It's because I had the same symptoms that I've experienced in May of 2017. I'm retaining a significant amount of fluid.

So they discharge me and from home on Friday I spend another day calling every number I can find to get this Angioplasty set up.

Once again with no success.

Finally near the end of the day I was able to reach the scheduler in my Urologist office who assures me the surgeon's office is going to call me within the hour. She spoke to them personally.

Not surprisingly. They never called back.

My feet are still swollen this morning but not as bad as yesterday so I decided not to drive the hour+ to get the hospital because I now face a economic issue.

I had amassed 139 hours of sick leave but I've now spent 80 of those these last 2 weeks.

Only now I don't know when the Angioplasty is going to be done. Could be next week could be in two weeks. I'm helpless at this point.

I have to return to work because I can't afford any more time off. Yet I don't know when my next surgery is.

I'm definitely not feeling 100% and have a new tube running out my back.

This is infuriating!

I hope being forced to go back to work when I'm not ready doesn't send me back to the hospital....again.

Plus I get to spend Monday dealing with more uninformed people, careless bureaucratic red tape and lies about return calls.

All while returning to work prematurely.

This SUCKS!

~ Madison