#and after a few weeks I am sharing it on tumblr

[voidwithtoomanygooglyeyes]

This is a fuck around and find out slow cooker recipe that I wanted to share with my fellow tumblr dwellers. Please read notes.

Ingrediants:

92g Curry mix (something like this)

Lamb chops, probably like 800g?? Any meat (excluding human) will work fine though, actually fuck it the meat is optional.

625ml of water that has been boiled in a kettle

Potatoes

Pumpkin

Onion

Carrot

Zucchini

Turnip

Capsicum

Steps:

Cut the vegetables into smallish mediumish chunks and place in the slow cooker mix them slightly with a spoon or your hands to distribute them more evenly.

In a measuring jug mix the curry mix and water until mixture feels smooth.

Put meat on top of vegetables and pour the curry mix on the meat.

Cook on high for like 5-6 hours.

Notes:

Can be served with mashed potatoes, bread, rice, or anything you think will go nice with this.

The vegetables are to be measured with your heart, you don't have to use the ones listed, use any you want, do I look like the recipe police?

If too runny for your liking, mix in a corn starch slurry (some water+corn starch) about an hour before it's done.

Except for the pumpkin and onion, you do not need to remove the skin or seeds from any of the other vegetables if you don't want to

Please debone the meat before placing in slow cooker or just before serving, or before you add the corn starch slurry.

I have no idea how long you should actually cook this for, all I know is that I put all the stuff in the slow cooker and started cooking it at like somewhere between 12:00 and 12:30 and dinner that night was at like 5:40 or 5:50

[sportsthoughts]

.

[iknityounot]

(Long post, sorry y'all)

A little more than two years ago now, my grandmother passed away. She and my grandpa had moved down to my home town a few years before so we could take care of them. I brought them groceries once a week, helped them write checks, fixed tvs, and found lost things. I was really close with my grandma.

In addition to her hilarious personality and dry wit, one of my favorite things about her was that she was a painter and a crafter like me! She used to crochet, and I took her to the craft store a couple of times so she could get more yarn and books on crochet. But her arthritis and the shaking in her hands kept getting worse, so she eventually had to stop.

She kept her most recent project, a granny square blanket, safely packed away in a plastic bin. She told all of us she was going to finish it one day.

Her hands never got better, and when she got sick, and we found out it was cancer, she rapidly deteriorated.

After she passed, I went to work helping my mom clean out my grandparents apartment so we could move my grandpa in with her. In our frantic cleaning, I found that bin again:

DOZENS of granny squares, dozens of half used skeins. I asked my mom what she wanted me to do with it, and she said she didn't care. I set it aside and later took it home.

Maybe a month later, that tumblr post about the Loose Ends Project was going around. It felt like a sign--I was never going to learn to crochet in order to finish my grandmother's blanket. But they might be able to help!

So I filled out the interest form. They got back to me SUPER quick. And maybe 2 weeks later, I was paired with volunteer in my state (only 2 hours away!) and the box of yarn, granny squares, and my grandmother's crochet hook were in the mail. That was at the end of January this year.

Over the next couple of months, my "finisher" emailed me regular updates on her progress, and asked me questions on my preferences for how she constructed the final blanket.

At the end of August, the blanket was done!

I had always intended the blanket to be a gift for my mother. So I cleaned it up, put it in the only bag I had big enough to fit it, and drove to my mom's. I gave the blanket to her and she was gobsmacked. I explained to her all about Loose Ends, and how someone volunteered to finish the piece for us. She was speechless. (I was quite pleased with this, because I am not the best at giving gifts, so this was a pretty exciting reaction!)

She said that it was the most thoughtful gift she had ever been given. She said "your grandma would love this". To which I replied, "yeah, I know she really wanted to finish it a couple of years ago". But that was when my mom dropped the bomb of a century on me--she told me that my grandma had started making those granny squares OVER 30 YEARS AGO. She had started the blanket when my grandpa was staying in the hospital, but that was back when my mom was younger than I am now! My grandma had packed them all away, planning on finishing it, when my grandpa was sent home from the hospital. Then it went from house to house, from condo in Chicago to their apartment in my hometown. All that time and my grandma had wanted to finish it, but couldn't. First because she was busy, then because she forgot how to do it, then because of her arthritis, and then because of the cancer. My mom said she had given up on expecting my grandma to finish it. 

She said I brought a piece of her childhood with her mom out of the past.

And really, all of this is to say, if you have seen or heard about the Loose Ends Project and have an uncompleted project or piece from a loved one who has passed away--these are your people. They were so kind and treated my project with such care. That box probably would have been found by my own grandkids one day if I hadn't heard about Loose Ends.

Five stars, absolutely worth it!

(From what I understand, you can sign up to volunteer too! If you have time to share, it might be worth checking out!)

[shiredded]

Happy father's day!

This poll is about estranged fathers. If you are not estranged, congrats! You all get to share one answer.

Good lord! This sure did go. I'll answer some confusion as best I can.

This is a poll about estranged fathers. I'm interested in the timelines of people who don't talk to their dads.

Because I am interested in estranged fathers, I basically categorized everyone who is NOT estranged into one answer. If you have spoken within the last few hours or weeks: congratulations! You are within normal relationship parameters.

If it's been more than a month, something odd may be going on, especially if your culture normally observes father's day. After a year, it's definitely not normal.

If you want to be more specific within that month, make a poll, it's fine! No need to get mad, go hug your dad!

The results (aside from the volume holy shit) are pretty much what i expected: the vast majority of people are not estranged. Within that, some love their dad, some do not. But I don't personally care how recent contact was if it was within the last month.

I'm not trying to make a commentary about how fathers are all awful and everyone should reject them. I'm not an authority on dads either.

I am not "everyone" and I am not "tumblr"

I'm literally just a guy.

There's no goal here to try to fill every slot evenly, nor a message that you should.

Not every poll is all inclusive, and not every poll is about you.

For those who it is about, I see you. Father's day is weird for us, especially when surrounded by people who like their dads. We are rare in the grand scheme of things, and that's a good thing. But estrangement is about loneliness, either ours or his.

It's raw for some of us, an old scar for others, and for me: a turning point in life where everything started to get better. A year becomes two, a decade another, and someone who consumed your life becomes a part of the past so distant you stop remembering it so well.

We may not have dads, but we have each other.

[evermore-fashion]

Did I make a mistake?

As you're all well aware of I said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr thinking my decision was final. However after reading all your wonderful messages I started to have doubts about my decision. So for the last few weeks I've been trying to pinpoint why I thought I had fallen out of love with high end fashion as well as Tumblr itself and the answer has been in front of my face for the best part of four years. A broken down friendship that has been plaguing my mental health… until recently and I'm going to finally explain why. I had a best friend for the best part of 15 years that went downhill both slowly and unexpectedly. We met on a forum back in 2005 and hit it off instantly. We then met up and went on various holidays, attended concerts together, did mini weekend breaks away and got to know each other's families really well. More importantly they were the only person in my life who knew about this blog and shared my love for high end fashion. Like most friendships though it had its ups and downs but no matter what we always gravitated back towards one another, until March 2020. A week or so before COVID and lockdown took hold of our lives they told me they had met someone. I was genuinely happy for them, except for the fact they had let slip that I was the last person to know. This broke my heart and their trust as they continued to let slip more details that indicated that I was being pushed out in favour of a new crowd (aka university friends who they had told me they disliked a few months beforehand) alongside their new partner. They stayed with their partner on and off throughout COVID and I was either pushed out the door or let back in depending on their relationship status. The relationship came to an end for good towards the end of 2022 and as always I was let back into their life with plans for 2023 being made. However I held back knowing the hurt it would cause me if things suddenly changed again. This was also my breaking point with them as I wanted to protect my heart from anymore hurt, and I believe this is where my love for creativity began to faulter. Whilst I found my love for gaming I felt this mental block around Evermore-Fashion and Evermore-Grimoire which I thought was down to my passions changing. I was clearly wrong. The friendship was up and down for another six months, until last summer. They had got back in contact with me despite the fact they had started acting cold towards me which manifested in a crap Christmas and Birthday. Yet I was still willing to hear their side of the story, but it never came as they ghosted me and I haven't spoken to them since which hasn't been fun to deal with both mentally and emotionally. Although I now fully believe this is what was killing my spirit and everything I had loved for so long. Anyway fast forward to January 2024, I've said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr when lo and behold I come across a social media post that changed everything. The ex friend had written something personal that contradicted everything they had told me (over their relationship break up) which not only angered me but it lit a fire under my butt to stop stewing in the "what ifs?" as well as holding on to a small bit of hope that they'd finally apologise for treating me like a piece of shit on the back of their shoe for so long. Not only that but I started to miss why I enjoyed being online in the first place. I checked out Vogue to see what was occurring during Paris Fashion Week and I yearned to share the Spring 2024 Couture collections on Tumblr (even though I still think it's still a toxic cesspit). Yes I could easily start this up on Wordpress or Instagram but let's face it, Tumblr is still the easiest place to start blogging creatively. So here I am. The fog surrounding my love for fashion has lifted alongside the mental and emotional baggage I've been holding on to for far too long. There's just one thing I'm still wondering though… do you guys forgive me (as I feel like I've messed you all around ) and is it okay to come back? 🥹

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Can you write one about were Logan x female reader x oscar or Lando x female reader x Oscar or Logan x Female reader x oscar x lando

Where They are at a afterparty for a race and since y/n was being a needy and bratty all race week and weekend long before they went to the after party some one of the 2-3 drivers had put a vibrator up her ass and at the party since she was still acting needy and bratty they started to turn up the power of the vibrator as they keep teasing her until she is on the edge about to cum and they stop telling her it’s her punishment for taking bratty all week and race weekend long as she started to beg and plead to let herself finish, they all take a car home to there shared apartment and but the vibrator at max power again and continue this in their room were they end up have unprotected sex, use rope and a mouth gag, blindfold, call her dirty names and say dirtier things to her or in her ear and after for aftercare they take super good care of her

Oscar is a Dom and in charge Lando and Logan can we doms or switchs, y/n is a sub

I'm actually gnawing at the bars of my enclosure right now, I love you anonymous 😘🫣.

You Shouldn't Have Done That

Oscar Piastri x Fem!Reader x Logan Sargeant x Lando Norris

I hope I did you justice (for gotham)

Warnings: SMUT, Bondage, Vibrators, Overstimulation, Bratty Y/N, Sucker Logan, Mean Lando, MEANER Oscar, Crying, Slapping, Anal, Triple Penetration, probably more but I forgot

F1 Masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

Instagram

part 2

A knock at the door is what drew my attention away from my phone that I'd been staring at for the last 15 minutes reading a few of these 'fan fictions' about my boyfriends that people were DMing me. Apparently somebody with no life named 'logansargeantsbabymom' has been making shit smut and posting it on Tumblr.

"Baby, race is about to start" I could recognize that beautiful English accent from a mile away.

Normally hearing Lando's incredibly sexy voice would make my bones start jumping in my skin but apparently I'm not the only fucking one because people fantasize about having the filthiest sex with him, write about it, post it on Tumblr and his fans eat it up!!

"I'm coming" I said nonchalantly as I got off the sofa that Lando had in his drivers room.

Lando held the door open for me as I brushed past him making my way to the back of the garage and then out of it. I didn't want to see him.

"What's wrong with her?" Oscar says as he came up from behind Lando

"I've got no clue but if she keeps it up I'm fucking it out of her" Lando shrugged before putting his helmet on

One thing about me is that I will make sure I am the one that puts on all three of my boyfriends helmets on them. I love to go up on my tippy toes to bite the tip of their nose before placing a kiss on it then the helmet on them. I've always done it even if we had gotten into the biggest argument on planet earth but right now, that's the last thing I wanted to do for Lando. I couldn't do it for Oscar either because then I'd fell bad for doing our normal race day tradition on Oscar and then just dipping and leaving Lando alone.

I also didn't want to deal with the consequences of "favoriting" Logan if I only did it for him so I skipped out on the tradition as a whole. The race was about to start in 10 minutes which means the drivers are all about to or already in their car and getting ready to get out on the track. I couldn't go back into the McLaren garage or I'd have to face two of the three boyfriends I'd just pissed off and I couldn't go to the Williams garage because they probably already texted Logan. So I went to the next best place: The Mercedes Garage.

I was forbidden to go in the Mercedes garage alone because apparently Lewis has a 'thing' for me, which wouldn't surprise me because I'm hot.

"Hey Y/N, what're you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be biting your boyfriends' noses?" I knew that cheeky English accent and it belong to the man that I was never to be in a room with alone.

"Lewis! Supposed to? Yes. Am? No, they pissed me off so I'm ignoring them." I shrugged. I really couldn't care less how they were going to react to me breaking tradition.

"Isn't that just going to get you in trouble?" Lewis said cautiously

"Not as much trouble I'll be in if they find out I was here with you alone." I chuckled as I shrugged.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket like crazy which caused me to whip it out and see what the fuck was going on.

Fantastic 4

Fav Butt Plug: I swear to the heavens above Y/N if this girl whose on the screen right now is you in the Mercedes garage with Lewis ALONE, I'm having your ass tonight. Oscunt: I want to know what the fuck has you all pissed at Lando but I don't like your little stunt of ignoring ME. Me: Stalkers Logie: Baby, why didn't you come to put my helmet on? Fav Butt Plug: You have one more time to piss me off Y/N.

"Lewis do you want to help me with something real quick?" The idea I had in mind was sure to make the tabloids right away and send the internet into a frenzy

"I don't like the general direction of where your idea's go." I waved a hand at him

"Let me put your helmet on you, I promise there will be no kissing" I looked at the clock, Lewis had 5 minutes before he was to be getting on the track and with a quick nod of his head I took the helmet out of his hands before securing it on his head before giving him a big smile and a bear hug before he was ushered into his car.

As I was exiting the Mercedes garage, I didn't know where I was going to go. Everyone is still in their respective garages and I'm NOT facing my boyfriends right now. Shortly after my encounter with

Fantastic 4 Fav Butt Plug: expect 10 orgasms MINIMUM tonight. Oscunt: None of which from me so don't ask. Logie: Did I do something baby? Why did you put Lewis' helmet on and not mine? Oscunt: Logan, she's being a brat. She didn't put mine or Lando's helmets on. Logie: I'm sorry for whatever I did to you, my sweet girl Oscunt: She acts this way because you give into her every ask, this is your fault Logan. I hope you crash. Logie: first of all, don't say that because I still don't have a seat for next season. Secondly, I do give into her every word because she's my pillow princess. Me: At least someone appreciates me, I love you Logan Logie: I love you more. Oscunt: She was never spoiled or a brat until you came along Logan, maybe you deserved to get punished alongside your dear 'pillow princess'. Me: Don't you dipshits (not you Logan) have a race? Stop texting me and drive.

————————

And drive is exactly what they did because Lando came in 1st, Oscar 3rd and Logan 4th.

The race was definitely a hard one with the on and off rain, the wall of champions and the hairpin but somehow they all managed it and they did it well.

Usually when one of my boyfriends has a good race weekend the victory sex is amazing but all 3 of them placed in the top 4? I don’t think I’m getting ANY rest tonight.

I stood by the scale so I could congratulate 2 of my boyfriends for their victory podiums but after they were congratulated by their team and they recorded their weights, they walked right past me.

I felt a sharp pain in my heart at their act but then I realized why they did what they did, I was being a brat before the race but if they wanna act like that, I will one up them.

I turned my head to the man who was currently getting his weight recorded and the man who came in second. It also happens to be the same man who I’m not allowed to be alone with.

“LEWIS!! CONGRATULATIONS!” I screamed as I hugged him, making sure to make the hug last a little longer than a typical ‘friend’ hug would last while also swaying us side to side.

"Y/N! Thank you, thank you. Are you coming to the after party, we already rented out the whole bar?" There was a little sparkle in his eyes that gave me an idea.

A sly smirk plastered itself on my face "Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world, especially if you're going to be there!" I placed a quick kiss on his cheek before placing my hand where I had just placed the kiss.

"Y/N!!" It was a loud and angry yell that should've scared me but it did the exact opposite, it turned me on.

I turned to face the person the voice belonged to, to see Lando with the meanest glare I've ever seen on his face. I gave a little nod goodbye to Lewis before making my way to Lando.

"Hey my handsome winner" I said when I got close enough as I ran my hand through his thick and messy curls, it didn't last long though because he grabbed my wrist and dragged me with him to his drivers room.

When we got there he opened the door and shoved me inside where I was met with my other two boyfriends who looked less than pleased with me. Lando slammed the door shut which caused me to jump and face him.

Lando's face didn't shift a bit from his angry demeanor. "Oh, is bunny scared? Surprised she can act any other way that isn't bratty" I heard a voice from behind me say as a chest was up pressed against my back and felt the back of a hand trace the side of my face before gripping the flesh of my throat.

"Oscar" it came out as a choked groan

I saw Logan from the corner of my eyes fishing something out of a box that Lando had stowed away behind the sofa before he made his way over to us. Oscar still had his hand on my throat but he ushered me towards the massage bed Lando has before aggressively bending me over on it which caused me to let out a groan. I could hear Logan's footsteps coming closer to where Lando was before handing him a pink object and I felt Oscar's hand at the hem of my leggings before yanking them down along with my panties.

At first Oscar was just playing with the flesh of my ass and occasionally leaving harsh slaps on it saying things like "You asked for this", "take this part of your punishment like a good girl and maybe I'll tell Lando to go easy on you." I heard Lando whisper something to Oscar and then I felt one more final and harsh slap on my ass before I felt Oscar's hands spread open my ass cheeks and forced his thumb in my tight asshole thrusting it in and out before shoving the Lush lovense vibrator where his thumb once was.

A loud string of moans and curse words left my lips before I felt a pair of lips on mine swallowing my moans. When he pulled away, I opened my eyes to see my favorite American right there looking at me with sympathetic eyes. Logan never liked when I got punished and had to deal with all the roughness Lando and Oscar put me through, he only liked soft, vanilla sex most of the time.

"It's okay baby, just be good" Logan said before he placed a soft and tender kiss on my lips.

Oscar's rough hands yanked me back into a standing position and Lando bent over to lift my leggings back up and over my waist before lightly slapping my cheek

"This is how you're going to the afterparty, don't you even think about cumming until we get home OR unless me or Oscar give you permission." I knew he was going to leave Logan out of giving me permission because he gives me basically everything I want with just a bat of my lashes.

-----

We've only been in this bar/club for less than 30 minutes and I'm already sweating. I'm not sweating because there's a lot of people in here all grinding against each other, no I'm sweating because Lando keeps turning the vibrator on the fastest setting and letting it go just until I'm about to cum before he turns it off denying me any sort of relief and he's done this about 6 times already. I can't do this anymore.

Lando turned the vibrator on full blast and watched as I squirmed in my seat as I was having a conversation with Alex

"Are you okay? You're sweating more than normal right now and you keep fidgeting" Poor Alex, she seemed so concerned

"Yeah I just have to go to the bathroom, I've had to pee for a while now but I didn't want to interrupt your story" It wasn't a total lie, I didn't want to interrupt her story but I didn't have to pee.

"Oh Y/N, go to bathroom, I'll be here!" with that I quickly made my way to the ladies room quickly checking every stall before settling into one and taking the vibrator out of my ass, sighing in relief before wrapping it in toilet paper and tossing it into the bin.

Exiting the stall with a smile on my face, I quickly washed my hands before making my way back to Alex.

"Hey, sorry about that again. I really had to go" I tried to sound sincere, mainly because I was.

Alex finished telling me about her story about how Charles surprised her with a trip to Sydney and all the fun things they did over in the down under when I felt quick and rapid taps on my shoulder, prompting me to look at the man who was tapping me aggressively.

"Baby, we have to go now, Logan just got really sick" My heart dropped and I looked over Lando's shoulder to see Oscar helping Logan out of the bar.

"I'm sorry Alex, I have to go" I didn't wait for her response before I bolted past Lando and out the door.

Much to my surprise when I made it past the bar doors, I saw Logan and Oscar laughing up a storm and having a good time. My mouth hung in shock as I couldn't believe the sight in front of me. I was about to turn around to give Lando a piece of my mind for lying to me and making me cut my conversation short.... AGAIN.

"Lando! How dare you lie-" I couldn't finish my sentence due to Lando holding up his hand signaling me to shut up before pulling his phone out and flipping it.

The sight made my face drop, he was currently showing me the app he has to control my vibrator setting and it was all the way up.

"Bunny, do you know how many times I turned this up tonight?" Lando tilted his head and when I didn't answer he tsked before walking closer to me "I'm not asking you again. Answer me like a good girl and I won't punish you."

"You won't?" he shook his head "I took it out at 6, I don't know how many more times you did it after"

"I turned it up 4 more times after you took it out." I felt a body against my back

"Just wait until we get home for your punishment " Oscar whispered in my ear before slapping my ass so hard I let out a little yelp

"I thought I wasn't getting punished?" I said confused

"No, I said I wasn't punishing you. I said nothing about Oscar" A cocky smirk plastered itself on Lando's insanely hot face and I watched as him and Oscar both got into Lando's McLaren.

I felt a hand on the small of my back and I turned to see Logan, he seemed to have a sympathetic look on his face "I tried to get them to come up with a different type of punishment then what you're getting but they didn't want to hear it. Don't say I didn't try to help you"

Oh god.

----

When we got back to Oscar's apartment, I almost didn't want to go in. I didn't have to have to endure the punishments they had in store for me but Oscar didn't take lightly to that and in 2 seconds flat he threw me over his shoulders and walked me to his room.

Lando had made his way to his room to get what he claimed was 'part of your punishment' while Logan closed the door to the apartment. Oscar had chucked me on the bed before yanking me to the edge of it, holding a hand on my chin forcing me to look at him in the eyes.

"Strip" was all Oscar said. I did as I was told because I already knew I was in for a long night and I didn't want to push Oscar any further.

I started slowly unbuttoning my dress shirt but Oscar didn't like that, he ripped the shirt open sending the buttons flying everywhere. I wanted to yell at him for ruining my favorite shirt but I knew there was going to be no point. When Lando and Logan walked in the room I could tell they also knew that I wouldn't be in the pubic eye for about a week after all three of them were done with me.

Logan made his way around and on the bed to be right behind me "These tits, oh my gosh. You're going to be the death of me" Logan mumbled into the crook of my neck as his hands made their way around my body to grope my chest.

"I can't wait to burry my cock in her tight little ass" Lando said as he sat on the bed beside me and started to kiss my shoulder. I let out a string of moans as I had two pairs of lips kissing and sucking on two different parts of my body

"Wanna tell me what made you so upset earlier that caused you to be bratty all day today? Hmm?" Lando said as his hand snaked its way down my stomach and under the elastic of my leggings.

"Let's take these off, yeah?" Oscar said as he yanked them off my body.

My legs instinctively opened to allow Lando more access to where I ached for him the most.

"I saw- oh my gosh Lando, please" I was cut off my Lando having inserted two digits into my pussy, thrusting them in and out while his thumb started rubbing circles on my clit.

"I believe Lando asked you a question Bunny" Oscar said as he reached his hands around my body to unclasp my bra.

His one hand immediately found my breast and started circling my nipples as Logan moved to the opposite side of him to attach his mouth to my other breast, swirling his tongue around the bud of my nipple.

"I saw people fantasize about fucking you. All of you" it sounded pathetic and hypocritical coming from me because I did the exact same thing before I got with all three of them.

"Bunny, we only have eyes for you." Lando said as he kiss the tip of my nose "But you're still getting punished" with that Lando grabbed me and yanked my body onto his, my back against his chest as he fists his cock a few times before aligning it to my asshole and thrusting up and in my tight hole. A loud cry escaped my lips before Oscars mouth found mine drowning out the noise. I felt the cushion of the bed dip before feeling a tap on my face, I opened it to see Logan cock right next to my face.

My mouth instinctively opened and took his cock in, moaning at the taste of his precum on my tongue. Logan started to thrust his cock in my mouth at a pace that had drool running down my chin in no time. The sound of me choking on Logans cock and skin to skin contact from Lando's painfully rough thrusts was all that filled the room. Oscar soon joined the party as he shoved his cock into my cunt with no warning which caused me to pull my mouth away from Logan cock to let out an unexpected screech.

"I didn't say you could stop sucking my cock, now did I?" Logan said as he gripped my face and shoved his cock back in my mouth, this time he fucked my face with so much force I thought I was fucking a different guy.

Soon enough after everyones strokes and pace matched, I knew I was one step closer to the edge and I was about to break (pls get the linkin park reference) . I felt the coil in the stomach tighten and my orgasm was finally about to wash over me tonight.

As if they all read my mind or just knew my body, the all simultaneously pulled out and left me nothing.

"No!" I cried at the empty feeling washing over my body, it all felt like sudden coldness.

"You didn't think we were letting you off the hook that easily did you?" Lando's tone mocking as he ordered "Go up against the headboard"

I did as I was told knowing there was no point in fighting them. Once I was against the board, I watched Lando as he grabbed what he went to his room for: A blindfold, rope and one singular feather.

Lando tossed the rope to Oscar who immediately started tying my wrists to the bedposts and threw the blindfold to Logan who eagerly took it out the packaging and on my face.

The room fell silent for about a minute after I was tied up, no one moved, no one talked. I felt the bed dip and the movement caused my whole body to tense, soon after I felt the feather being dragged up my thigh to my stomach before feeling it swirl around my nipples. A mix of moans, groans, and "fuck"s all left my mouth as I felt my orgasm creeping closer.

"Baby, I'm going to fuck you now, okay?" Oscar said before he aligned himself with the entrance of my cunt before sliding in with ease, his thrusts started off slow and sensual, allowing me to adjust to his size before his thrust became rough and erratic.

Oscar wasn't the only one eager to get his dick wet because I felt a thumb tap my bottom lip, signaling me to open it before I felt a cock brush past my lips. Based on his thrust in my mouth, I could tell it was Lando's cock that I was currently sucking, his pace relentless.

Oscar's hips started stuttering against my body as his thrusts slowed and I knew he was close to his orgasm. One thing about Oscar is that when he cums, he never wants to do it alone which means I'm finally about to get my release that's been eluding me all night.

Oscar abruptly pulled his cock out of me leaving me empty and orgasmless again, my disappointment didn't last long because as fast as Oscar pulled out Logan just as fast attached his mouth to my clit, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud bringing me close to my orgasm, which I was fully prepared to not have again.

Much to my surprise Logan didn't stop which prompted me to wrap my legs around his head making sure he couldn't go anywhere as he pushed me off the edge and I came with a loud strings of cursing and chants of 'Logan' leaving my mouth as my body shuddered and my legs squeezed around Logan head. I felt him moan against my vagina which made my body jerk upward at the vibrations.

Soon after I came down from my high, I felt a strong pair of hands yanking my legs apart before feeling Logan because torn away from my pussy.

"You shouldn't have done that Logan" Lando whispered in his ear.

------

y'all- if there's typos or a part doesn't make sense its because I'm sleepy. I wanted to put something out because I haven't in like 3 days or something like that and I felt bad.

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @eddieharrington @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii

[dolldefiler]

Hey :)

I just wanted to say truly how incredible your writing is. I find myself refreshing on tumblr desperately looking for a new story from you whilst I mindlessly rub myself away to all the dirty things on here because it just works like no other if I’m honest..

Also wanted to say thank you for seeming like a genuine person on top of all the sex-stuff, a lot of people abuse the space with this sorta stuff so it’s refreshing to see a double edged sword type thing I suppose.

Now I guess onto the reason I gathered the courage to ask (even though I’m still on anonymous…) I was wondering if you’d be up for letting me share my fantasy and if it sparked any inspo, if you’d be open to doing a request whenever you got the free time?

One of my biggest fantasies in the world is being kidnapped, raped and gaslighted, with heavy heavy tones of misogyny. Idk something about a sexually fuelled patriarchal society really does something to me :0 but unfortunately it’s kind of hard to communicate that desire to anyone at risk of it being taken completely the wrong way (oh the joys of having these kinks) and so I fear I’ll never really get to live out any variation of this fantasy with someone I trust

I just imagine being taken one day, because I’m just a girl and it’s a man’s right to take me if they choose. He takes me back to whatever secluded hole he’s got to keep me in, and it’s brutal and harsh at first - tied, bruised, etc etc. Then as the days, weeks, months go by I begin to develop Stockholm syndrome or I’m just plain old gaslighted into thinking this is all women are made for. Maybe he recorded me saying degrading things about myself in the first few days, which I said out of fear but you play them back for me and convince me that I meant them and you never asked me to say those things, it must just be truly who I am. Maybe he’d reward me when I gagged on his golf with the most simple thing like a stroke of my hair while he brutally fucked my face, but the small sign of affection (even when being used so aggressively) would be the gentle touch that I had been craving in the months he had kept me locked away. Besides the first time he raped me (so he could hold my pleasure during it as a tool against me), he would edge me from the very start, breaking me, making me crave the pleasure against everything screaming in my body saying not to. Taunting me by saying if I could cum just one more time, he’d let me go.. but of course he’d never let me. Teasing me by saying if I do as I’m told he’ll think about letting me get extra close to the edge that day, because at this point being allowed that would be the closest I would ever get. By the end of it my rewards would no longer benefit me, I’d be thankful when he said I could cockwarm him whilst he worked, or if he said I could be spend hours and hours worshipping his cock with my mouth, even when my jaw began to hurt. He’d only fuck me ass unless he wanted to edge me and get me close, or to breed me full of cum. If I ever took a misstep, like missing a single drop of cum after he came, I’d be punished. I’d be thankful to serve him, I’d learn to speak to him as my superior and all my pleasure would come from serving him. I could be completely rewritten and by the end of it he could let me go with no worry, and I’d be his forever..

ANYWAYS… ahem. I think I may have got carried away.

Even if you don’t write anything like this, honestly it was kind of fun just typing it out.

Other than that, I hope you are doing good!

From a very horny anon (who maybe recently has maybe weirdly started subconsciously picturing some imagined version you in this fantasy)

-🍒

Aww, this is such a cute message to receive (and as ever with these asks, I apologise for taking a century to respond).

I would love to steal some girl away from her home, snatching her up like she's property to be claimed. Snatching it up, like it's property to be claimed. She'd struggle at first, screaming and crying, violently thrashing against her ropes and threatening to call the police. What a silly little sex doll. The police wouldn't care about her. They'd probably stolen away their own little fleshlights.

I'd beat her of course. Stupid fucking rapetoys need it sometimes. They need to understand that they're nothing until I give them a purpose. I'd lock her in a dark room with no clock, no water, not a single sound to accompany her but the sounds of soft sobbing and heavy breathing. She'd mark the passing of days from my sharp footsteps as I'd come down to feed her. Beat her. Abuse her.

I'd speak to her sometimes, whispering degradation into her ears. Taking off her gag to encourage to degrade herself for me, if she wanted food. The only human contact she'd know would be intensely degrading. Every vile word of degradation she'd whisper about herself would earn her a pat on the head or kiss on the forehead. I'd reward her for breaking.

I would record every trembling word of hate she'd say about herself and rape her to the sounds of it. I'd spread apart her cunt on my cock and pound away at her, recording even that, raping her endlessly to our homemade porn. To our rape videos. She'd watch her own face become stained with tears. She'd hear the nasty things she'd hear about herself. She'd lose her mind. Did she truly want this? Did she really hate herself?

I'd reassure her that this was normal. That it's okay to hate yourself. That all she needed was me. I'd strap a vibrator against her clit and drill into her ass, jerking off inside her to the sounds of her intense degradation, to the her loud, screaming in those rape videos. I'd teach her to love the feeling. Then I'd leave her again. I wouldn't speak to her for days, silently feeding her. She'd have to choose between eternal silence or... something that made her feel alive. Something that made her feel like a woman. Something like a pathetic fucking rapemutt.

I'd choke her out, squeezing her tighter and telling her that I'd stop if she only just told me to. I'd stop if she degraded herself. I'd stop it if she just said anything. But my hand would stop her. I'd watch her become unconscious and limp every time, and wake her up to my cock raping her ass violently and my palm slapping her sharply. I'd only use her cunt to reward her. To train her into loving my cock stirring up her insides in a way that didn't leave her screaming.

I'd rewrite her so thoroughly she wouldn't even be able to consider disobeying me. The police might stop burying their cocks into their own fleshlights and knock on my door. They might question her. They'd get nothing. She'd defend me and tell them she ran away with me. She'd fervently tell them how I'd saved her from her old life. How I'd helped her. They'd take one last look at her and leave my house. Perhaps I'd breed her as a reward.

[garoujo]

saetoru is talking abt you on her private blog (@/clorindes) yuckkkkk

CW BULLYING, LITERALLY IMMATURE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA, SUB POSTING.

hi nonnie, thank you for letting me know! since i’m leaving this blog & this platform for the foreseeable future i figured i might aswell get a few things off of my chest before i go. i apologise in advance for the vibes this post will probably bring, the discourse & the posts that will ofcourse follow, but i honestly i am not the first person to be targeted by this creator and i’m sure i won’t be the last considering the amount of creators that have been bullied off of this app by them.

first off i’ve had multiple blogs that would be considered bigger blogs such as @/hvnlydmn, @/atsymu + now this blog which is the biggest of all 3. i think there’s a sort of unspoken responsibility that comes with being a bigger blog which i know is no fun but it’s also because it can be super harmful on a site like this, when people weaponise their following.

on that note i’ll start this post by saying that i’ve known tee for probably around 3/4 years, maybe? we were mutuals on hvnlydmn & atsymu and we continued to talk on discord even when i was off of tumblr. i will honestly admit to this day i have never had a negative interaction with tee to my face and she was genuinely supportive of me during any discourse i was involved in. i am not some angel, i’ve had my fair share of crap on this app (of my own doing) but this post is not meant to come across like “oh she doesn’t like me so i’m calling her out” no. im sorry if this doesn’t line up with my brand and my ‘victim complex’ but i’m not gonna lie down and let someone on a power trip on a hobby app drag me through the mud.

first off i had began to get some off vibes from tee when i had started writing on garoujo, notably when i’d just hit my first milestone which was probably around 1k. during this i had decided to move my instagram theme from my main blog to my writing blog.

i’d noticed tee subposting (on main and on her personal blog which i followed at the time) about someone basically using the same theme as her, which after then clicking onto her blog i realised was an instagram theme. i didn’t think much of it, again me & tee were friends and she hadn’t came to me directly so ignored it. i was still a new blog and trying to solidly an aesthetic (before the beige lol) so i changed my theme / masterlists / layouts a lot.

a few more sub posts later i decided to message tee about it because with every thing i’d change / post on my blog, there always seemed to be another post. so i messaged her and got this response in: (i’ve blurred out my irl name btw) open up pics for convo!

so i let it slide, kept posting & that was that. probably a few days / a week later, tee had soft blocked me which then eventually led to me being hard blocked. i was upset ofcourse because i genuinely considered tee a good friend but i’ve always been a big advocate in controlling your space.

this was when, one of our mutuals in common (the first of many may i add) approached me on discord to say that just like now, i was being ripped to shreds on tee’s personal blog:

again i was notably upset about this because i was being accused of not only copying her theme but also her writing & masterlists, we did have a lot of mutuals in common so it was also upsetting knowing they would all be seeing these posts aswell. i allowed myself one sub post about “creating a narrative” because i was particularly frustrated but tee then also subposted about this, even though she had me blocked?

i would also like to say regarding our mutuals in common that this was not the first or last mutual to approach me regarding tee. i’ve had multiple people tell me that “they’re only mutuals with her because it would be more damaging not to be” “it’s easier to be on her side”. also i am not saying this is okay but i’ve had multiple of her current mutuals send me not only her posts, but screenshots of her private, personal instagram & also tell me about how all of them and their friends had a running joke / theory that tee made up her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) for attention.

regarding the accusations from tee i’d like to first comment on the instagram themes, again i had done an instagram theme on my main blog but it seemed to only be an issue when it was on my writing blog that was gaining traction. if the timing was off and it seemed like i copied her, i genuinely have nothing to say except it’s not the case— it’s instagram (which tee already admits she doesn’t own above) also the hanma writing? i’m still not 100% sure which drabbles she was referring to but i can only assume that 1. is when i posted a drabble about hanma fucking you outside of his subordinates house — this was a almost completely word by word rewrite of a suna drabble i done on my old blog @/atsymu i literally just changed the concept to fit tokyo revengers themes. i can post screenshots of this suna drabble also from my google docs dated February when i deactivated. the other one may have been some basic concept about him fucking you against the window.

she also mentions in the very first recent screenshot at the beginning of this post that i have apparently stolen concepts of fics / posts from her mutuals. what i want to say regarding this is, do you believe that i would have made it this far on stolen work? i don’t know any of the mutuals she’s referring to apart from 1 which i’ll get into. but every single accusation i’ve ever received has always come from someone associated or in contact with tee, she has always been at the root of it all but i have yet to receive a single anon or ask about me copying or taking inspiration from anyone’s work.

i know there was apparently a blog and an ex mutual of mine, who i had a lot of respect & time for who was under the impression i’d stolen their concept for this gojo fic. the whole premise of this fic is honestly not uncommon considering how many times people losing control of their techniques / powers / quirks during orgasm has been done in fanfiction. this concept was completely my own, i had originally posted shitposts about him losing control of his technique & also him putting you into a mating press / breeding before i’d decided to smoosh them together into a fic. we all read from the same workbook, we all have the same material to work off of — two people in a fanbase of THOUSANDS having a similar idea is not unheard of.

now onto the masterlist banners. the screenshot on the far left are the comparison photos that tee made herself— i’m sure you’ll be able to see them in better quality when she makes her own post about it; because obviously that’s going to come. first off i will say, i will admit i took inspiration from her official art masterlist banners — i thought hers looked good and i needed a masterlist so i used official art. fair game there although i only kept them for a few days before i changed again.

but onto the grey masterlist banners, i can honestly say i did not even know tee had this masterlist, also the only comparison i myself see is the colour. the only reason i chose grey was because i had started to use a grey / white overlay on my manga panels for my layout (as you can see far right), and as you know— i’ve always kept my colour scheme pretty consistent. on that note, regarding the actual layout of the masterlists— i’ve added screenshots from atsymu (that i could find due to it being deactivated) that shows the layout of my old masterlists, which was what i took inspiration from for my current. although the title font for each heading like headcanons is different, i had used the sort of old style, basic font that everyone uses before i had deactivated so it would match my fic headers i just don’t have photos obviously.

anyway on the back of this there was then discourse over me apparently copying tee’s kinktober masterlist, which again was not the case. but again due to tee’s following i had received multiple death threats into my asks the morning after i posted mine. as far as i was aware, the only similarities were the fact we both used gifs in our headers & the layout listing thirsts, hcs & fics (which is very common during kinktober but i admitted below i could see that similarity). unfortunately during all of this discourse was when ffflowers, my hate blog also came into the mix which then lead to tee reaching out to me in dm’s from her old blog.

the interaction between me & tee was pretty good, again she was nothing but nice to me directly despite the way she obviously spoke about me in private above. but as you can see below, tee herself told me that basically most of the similarities all made above were brushed off as basic. we spoke about the ig themes & i apologised, saying i could understand where she was coming from and that was that. i unblocked her & she unblocked me so i could reblog her post, it’s been that way since.

it is not my place to comment on other people’s experiences on this app but i would need more than 2 hands to list the amount of people that i’m sure have had similar if not worse experiences with tee. i know i have had multiple mutuals who have been bullied off of this platform & had their safe space ripped from them for little things such as: liking a character that this group selfship with, tee and her friends not liking their characterisation. they’ve even went as far as to go through other larger creators notes to check for minors so they can make excuses as to why they’re thriving.

i also know of a blog who was ‘blacklisted’ from tee & her mutuals as they self shipped with arataki itto at the time, one of tee’s friends also did, so they blacklisted this creator and had all of their mutuals block them for this which then in turn drove this creator off the app. there has been other notably bitchy things that i’ve heard but i have no receipts for therefore i don’t see any relevance in starting rumours.

i would also like to say i know plagiarism is a horrible thing, we have all been through it— myself included but it’s got to the point where being accused of copying tee has become a canon event. notably, bigger platforms have been ruined and driven off of this app for little things such as mdni dividers, similar colours schemes etc. and it’s the reason i’m also leaving.

i will say i have met some amazing people through my discourse with tee, notably people who have been in similar situations and i also apologise to any mutuals who we still have in common who are now sort of stuck inbetween. no hard feelings. although to tee: id be careful of the people you trust because it seems the loyalties they have to you are not as sincere as you may believe. you can also go to her personal & read the other things she was saying about me like how she was always so ? at how many people seemed to like me.

so that’s all i have to say, i’m sure dash will get a few responses from this but i’ll be logging out & turning off asks because honestly? couldnt care less. the only thing i’d change about my experience on this app would be i wish i’d blocked tee sooner.

i’d say have a nice day, but instead, have the day you deserve.

— emmie :)

[xxsabitoxx]

xxSabitoxx is now archived. 

After some heavy consideration over the last few months, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to be archiving xxSabitoxx. 

I have poured nearly three years of my life into this blog. I have seen several friends come and go. And most of all, I have been blessed with such a large following that I truly don’t deserve. 

However, my love for writing has slowly diminished, just as my love for this site has. I am not going to go into boring detail as I do not want it to seem like I am searching for pity.

But, before I go, it has been brought to my attention that many are displeased with the way I handled a particular anon ask last week. I wanted to take a second to apologize, as I agree that I could have answered that question much more level-headed and maturely. It has since been deleted because I did not like the way I was spoken to, and I especially disliked the way I spoke to them. 

I could have responded to that ask in several ways and I chose to be rude, and for that I am sorry. 

With that being said, I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs on Tumblr over the last decade under a few other usernames and aliases. I’ve witnessed the steady dumpster-fire decline of Tumblr etiquette and people's genuine disregard for others on here.

I am simply one person with a life outside of the stories I choose to write. I have several priorities that will always outweigh my hobbies.

After all this time, I can say I am finally done. I’m over it. There is no point in putting effort into a hobby I no longer have a passion for. So I am closing this chapter today to start fresh tomorrow.

I cannot begin to thank you all enough for choosing to read my work and support my blog. Whether you’ve been with me since the start or just followed me today, you supported me in some way and I’m forever thankful for that. 

I’m deeply sorry I couldn’t do more, and I am especially sorry for those who were waiting on stories that will never be written. I hope you can forgive me but I understand if you can’t. 

It has been both a wonderful and terrible journey as xxSabitoxx / May. And as much as I would love to be done with this and simply click the “delete blog” button in my settings – I know many of you enjoy the stories I’ve posted and quite frankly I have grown attached to this blog as well. 

So, it shall remain an archive that may one day revive itself but please do not hold your breath. If the day comes that I decide it’s time to delete this blog, I will take the time to move as much of my work as I can over to ao3 before doing so. 

So, until we meet again, take care.

- May

[felassan]

Transcript of the DA:TV ‘Meet The Companions’ panel @ SDCC.

Update: this post has now been updated into a full transcript.

BioWare have said that they are going to share a recording of the panel at a later date. In the meantime, here is a transcript of it. When the recording is available, I will update this post further if required. This is a word-for-word transcript (in as far as it was possible to make one, it was quite a noisy room with lots of people in it), but a few bits were not clearly audible - these are marked as "[...]". listening to the original source in audio/video format, when it’s available, first-hand is of course always advisable, in case of any mis-hearings or missing things out etc on my part!! :>

there are other things from the panel here in this BioWare blogpost, collected in this compilation post, and also in this Tumblr post.

The panel was moderated/hosted by Lucy James. In attendance were creative director John Epler, creative performance director Ashley Barlow, and the actors of Lucanis, Neve, Emmrich, and Harding - Zach Mendez, Jessica Clark, Nick Boraine, and Ali Hillis respectively.

----

[panel begins]

Lucy: Goodness me, there are a lot of you. Hello everyone. Hello San Diego. But more importantly, hello Dragon Age fans! Give yourselves a cheer! Now welcome to a panel that I am so excited to be moderating today. A little bit of, what do you call it, a little bit of, I'm just gonna say it, we're doing Q&A at the end. There is a microphone right here. I will give a warning - housekeeping was the word I was searching for. We're gonna be doing Q&A at the end. I will give you a warning to come up and ask questions to this incredible panel of developers from BioWare and actors from the brand new Dragon Age game, The Veilguard. I'm Lucy James, I'm your moderator for today, but you're not here for me, you're here for these incredible people, so let's go down the line and see who we have on the panel today. We have creative director John Epler. Creative performance director Ashley Barlow. The poised and pragmatic assassin, playing the role of Lucanis, Zach Mendez. The necromancer Emmrich, we have Nick Boraine. Absolutely did not mean to skip, but we have different, different lineup over here. The voice behind the private detective Neve, Jessica Clark. And returning franchise favorite, you know her as Lace Harding, the lovable Scout, Ali Hillis. Now, we all love Dragon Age games for multiple reasons, whether it is the combat, the impactful decisions that we get to make, the romances - I know my [...], I know my - but the heart and soul of every game is always the companions, and so we are gonna be doing a deep dive into some of the new cast as well as, like I said, returning franchise favorite. So I'm gonna kick off with you, John.

John: Awesome.

Lucy: Can, you know, you've been at BioWare for a couple of years now.

John: Yeah, seventeen years as of this year, so.

Lucy: Wow. Can you tell us a little bit about your history with Dragon Age?

John: Absolutely. So as mentioned, I've been at BioWare for coming up on seventeen years now. I worked as a QA tester on Dragon Age: Origins, moved into cinematic design, did that [...] Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and then became lead cinematic designer for Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser, where I worked closely with Trick Weekes, building out that story. And then now as creative director on Dragon Age: The Veilguard, which has been just a fantastic project to be a part of.

Lucy: Now, I assume pretty much everyone in this room has gone frame-by-frame through the trailers and gameplay videos and every BioWare social post about Dragon Age, but just in case there's anyone in the room who is unfamiliar, give us the quick overview of Dragon Age: The Veilguard?

John: Absolutely. So Dragon Age: The Veilguard is the latest entry in the Dragon Age franchise. It takes place approximately ten years after the end of Inquisition. You start the game hunting for Solas. It's a game built on some core principles of: be who you want to be, in a world worth saving, and with characters who matter. So, again, companions always at the heart of Dragon Age, they're at the heart of this one as well.

Lucy: And so, I mean, why is this team coming together? You mentioned it a little bit there, and like, what's bringing this, kinda 'rogues' gallery' together?

John: I mean it's the end of the world, and each character that you bring into your party understands that the world's ending, that they need to stop that, and you're really building, what I would say is more of a found family. These are characters who may not start off liking each other, may not even start off liking you, but over time, they grow to understand the importance of what they're doing and just, how critical it is to stop the elven gods.

Lucy: Now we were chatting a little bit before the panel, and you kinda said, like, a bold statement which was that this is one of the best groups BioWare has ever written. I say 'bold', cause we all have our favorites. What makes you say that? What's going on with The Veilguard that makes them so special?

John: Yeah, I mean, I think that every Dragon Age game the companions we write and create for those games are the best companions for that one. And I think in this case, what's really fascinating and what I've really loved to see come out through the game, through its development is, the way these characters form relationships, not just with you but with each other, so, whereas, you know, sometimes characters maybe don't interact as much. Each one of these has a relationship that extends beyond Rook, the protagonist, but also some become friends, some become lovers, and some become rivals. And it's just, the way that they learn to get over their differences, or put them aside, has really been fun and exciting, because they all represent a different part of the world of Thedas.

Lucy: I am very excited to see how these family dynamics come together, avoiding my real life family for my virtual family. Ashley, you’ve been playing a huge role in helping bring these characters to life. Can you tell us a little bit about your role at BioWare?

Ashley: Yeah. I’m the creative performance director, so I get to cast all of these characters, with the team at BioWare, of course. And then work tirelessly in the booth with them, I mean, they just met like this weekend. I just silo them off, and they do their work, and they listen to each other, and, you know, 3000 hours later, and then they get them back around, and we can iterate on it, and they can say, ‘oh, oh that’s what everyone sounds like!’, now they get to play off of it. So, it’s a big road-trip in a VO booth. From my house.

Lucy: A big road trip. A big deal. A big game. Where do you even begin with a behemoth like this?

Ashley: We, we audition our companions. We have to make sure that our leads can play off of each other, that compliment each other, that juxtapose each other. Like John said, it’s kind of like a family, an un-chosen family, and so we need them to, you know, it’s, you need to create an ensemble, a diverse ensemble, so that the players get the choice of who they want to bring on this hero’s journey. And so, we brought them all in, you know, and they, we do motion capture, so we need to see how they move, and how they walk, and how they talk, and how they can act like heroes. And they all carry themselves so well. Now, it’s tripping me out, because they all look like their characters to me.

Lucy: Now, there are plenty of returning faces in The Veilguard, but there are new companions that we will get to know and love. Let’s start with Lucanis. John, can you give us a little quick overview of his background, and what’s his deal?

John: Absolutely. So Lucanis is the stylish assassin from the Antivan Crows, you know. But, not bloodthirsty, more, as he sees assassination as a job, one that he is extremely skilled at. Over the course of the story, you learn more about him, more about his character, more about his relationship, not just within The Veilguard, but also with the Crows and with other characters in the world. And I think, it’s fascinating to see how that grows over the course of the game.

Lucy: Now Zach, you are the voice. I mean, how do you approach this? Where did you […]?

Zach: Well, when I first found out I got the role, I read Tevinter Nights, which is the book, that came out [...] and you should read. And I read The Wigmaker Job, in which Lucanis is featured. I read it about three times, and after I closed the book I realized, ‘this might be the coolest guy I ever get to play’. I mean, not only is he a smooth assassin, not only is he determined - yes, he can kill you a thousand different ways, but what struck me was, his mind is as dangerous as his knives. I mean this is a guy who takes in the environment with all five senses. He’s constantly attuning himself to the kind of shifting terrain of every mission. And also, he’s kinda hilarious. I mean, if you look at his relationship with his cousin Illario, in The Wigmaker Job, they’re constantly giving each other crap. But there’s a lotta love there, so I got to pull, you know, from my relationship with my brother. Because we love each other dearly, but we can be ruthless with each other. And so, it was really easy to play in that way.

Lucy: I mean, yeah, you mentioned being a comedian there. Ashley, how was working with Zach?

Ashley: Yeah.

Lucy: Harnessing that and bringing it to the character.

Ashley: Zach’s one of the funniest people I know. And that’s a lot to live up to. But, you know, he came in as one of the most adaptable actors. And, you know, we did a lot of motion capture during 2020, 2021, 2022, even 2023, and so Zach stood in for like, Assan, and Varric, like all the characters [...] just mostly, most - [a scene plays on the screen behind the panel of the actors doing mo-cap. Zach as Assan hops along the ground like :D over to Davrin, Rook and another character. Davrin is happy to see him and scratches him under the chin. Davrin motions to Rook, who then bends down and hugs Assan] - I mean I’m pretty sure [...] a huge inspiration for the cinematics. Once you see this scene that this is, like - remember it, 'cause [...] -

Zach: Just know, when you’re hugging Assan, you’re hugging me. That means a lot.

Ashley: It’s true! But, yeah, but, for Lucanis, Zach was able to bring, I mean once you get in the game and you meet Lucanis, you’ll know that he’s, you know, a murdering Crow, and then, is a […], you know, there’s a darkness. [there is a rumbling noise in the background and the panelists look around confused]

[?]: I think it's just thundering.

Ashley: It’s thundering, let's, let's do a -

Zach: The darkness.

[...]

Ashley: But in the darkness -

Zach: Prepare yourselves. [background noise continues]

Ali[?]: It’s coming.

Zach: Seriously, what is that? What’s happening?

A person off to the side: Other rooms!

Zach: Okay, okay, okay, thank you.

Ashley: Okay, thank you. [...] think you were doing it. As you can tell, he brought like a, he brings a lightness to it, ‘cause you can’t always be that heavy. I don’t want to be scared or crying in the booth all the time. And thank God the writers, John included, and all of the writers of Lucanis really brought some fast, quick-witted writing. So he’s quick as a whip, he really lightened it up, and can’t wait til you guys get in and play it and romance this sucker! Sorry! Sorry not sorry!

Lucy: I was going to say, how does it also feel to play a romanceable character?

Zach: Oh, I’m quite excited about it. Ashley has promised to give me the stats of how many people romance me. I'm really looking forward to that.

Lucy: No pressure, gotta get those numbers up!

Zach: Yeah, I know. But, that’s the great thing about Lucanis, is that, you know, he’s extremely smooth, as an assassin, but, and, yes, he does have a heart, he does have a soft side, he’s not completely adept at always dealing with other people and interactions of that such, you know, he’s extremely stubborn and stuck in his ways, so it’s really hard for him to let people in sometimes, so I’m really excited for fans to get to meet him, and, you know, help him open up.

Lucy: And before we go to the rest of your illustrious cast members, what’s, what was, what’s been your highlight of working on The Veilguard? Is it, you know, this moment getting to see everyone in person? Was it a story from on set one day, or an interaction with one of the devs?

Zach: Well, you know, I did, before the first day of shooting, I did kinda get an idea about how passionate the fanbase was, which made me really excited. I don’t wanna say nervous, because I don’t say I’m nervous, I say I’m excited. And so before the first day of shoot, I was very excited. And luckily, you know, Ashley and them, didn’t have me do too much on the first day. I played a lot of darkspawn. I darkspawn-ed my ass off, though. I want you guys to know, I really –

Ashley: Oh he did, yeah.

Zach: – and when I got home, I thought to myself, you know, ‘Zach, did you darkspawn hard enough?’ I was just worried! You know, and within an hour I got a text from Jeff, who’s a part of this cast as well, and Jee, telling me what a great job I did. And then, I’ll never forget. I got a call from Ali Hillis down here. And I will remember that conversation, because for thirty minutes, she made me feel like I was welcome in the Dragon Age family, and it gave me so much confidence moving forward. So thank you Ali, so much, I still remember that, God bless you.

Lucy: That is lovely. See, the family stuff coming up already. I’m very excited.

Ashley: [...]

Lucy: Right, let’s move on. Coming to the private detective, Neve, who we actually got a glimpse of in the gameplay reveal from a few weeks ago. Let’s take a quick look. [a scene plays on the screen; the scene when Rook meets Neve in the prologue with Varric and Harding, that we saw in the gameplay reveal video] Now John, can you give us a quick overview of Neve?

John: Absolutely. So Neve, as you can see in the video, is one of the first companions that you encounter in Dragon Age: The Veilguard. She’s from Tevinter, Minrathous specifically. And anyone who’s played Dragon Age before knows that we’ve always talked about Minrathous, we’ve always talked about Tevinter, so we wanted to have a character who showed, not the parts of Tevinter that we’ve touched on before, you know, obviously slavery is a big part of it, it’s a mageocracy, but somebody who was pushing back, fighting back against that. And Neve’s shown up in the ancillary media as well, in the comics The Missing. And it’s just, she is that, you know, somewhat cynical detective with a bit of a heart of gold, bit of [a?] romantic, and just seeing her character evolve over the course of The Veilguard, over the course of the game, because again, she’s one of the first people you meet, is. Always fun seeing Neve’s character bounce off other the followers, banter has been super fun, just the way that she, what she brings to the table is always, it’s always so interesting to me.

Lucy: Jessica, I mean, what was it like getting that call to find out that you were gonna be in Dragon Age?

Jessica: It was slightly terrifying, and it was, I just felt really honored immediately, because I feel like, to be, I feel like they entrusted me with such, something with such significance and such importance to so many people, and so I just really wanted to honor that, and bring everything that I could to this fabulous character that I had been gifted. So yeah, that was.

Lucy: And I understand that you are kind’ve newer to the kind’ve voice acting, kind’ve realm. How was it different from more traditional roles?

Jessica: I am pretty new to it. I’ve barely done anything as significant, Dragon Age is enormous. It was very freeing honestly, I mean, like Ashley said, they auditioned and auditioned and auditioned and auditioned us. Like, every time I was brought in, I was like, ‘oh I didn’t get that’, you know what I mean? And then three months later there was another audition, and. But it was just so interesting and so freeing, because it really is sort’ve, it almost felt like play pretend, like when I was a little girl, you know? And it’s like what you dream up in your imagination. Because they, you know, they give you this character, and they give you some of the dialogue and then they really wanna see where you go with it and how you move and how you embody her and how you react to dragons that aren’t there because you’re in an audition room. You know, like all of that. So, and then, also, playing Neve, it really allowed me, and being a voice actor, it really allowed me to sort’ve step into my power a bit more, because, you know, I’m very tall, and things like that. And so, in a lot of my, sort’ve, more traditional television and film work, they kind’ve want you to be the girl, and I have to raise my voice, and be a little softer, and you know, kind’ve, not diminish myself, I don’t wanna say that, but just be very conscious of my physicality. And then Neve, it’s completely the opposite. You know, so Ashley had to work with me literally on dropping my register and things like that, and it was so confusing at the beginning, and then it was so amazing, to kind’ve have that opportunity, so I’m very grateful.

Lucy: Yeah. I mean, what drew you, what’s your favorite thing about Neve? – get that applause going, go on, let's go!

Jessica: I love her loyalty, I love her dedication, I love how much she loves Docktown and its people and how she really sees a different vision for Tevinter than, as John said, than what’s previously been depicted. And she’s really really fighting for those people, and she loves those people, and so yes she’s cynical, and yes she’s kinda tough and brusque and all these other things, but when they say there’s a heart of gold, there really, like to have that kind of a passion and dedicate your life to something like that, I think that, that’s my favorite part about her.

Lucy: And what were some of your highlights from, I mean, is it, is it kind of strange to record a video game, because I assume you’re doing things in different orders -

Ashley: Yeah.

Jessica: Oh yes.

Lucy: - working with some people some days and other people different days - tell me about that?

Jessica: I mean in terms of that, I just trusted Ashley and John, you know, and they know, and I was there to learn and embody and kind’ve grow into that. But I think my favorite thing, even though we were all separate disembodied voices a lot of the time, we kind’ve really all bonded in the way that we were intended to, you know? And that’s why we’ve been so excited all week and all weekend, because we can be like, ‘oh my god, you’re here, oh my god you’re here, you’re here, you’re here’, finally, you know? And you know, I know on a lot of projects, people are like ‘oh yeah, we’re all like, we love each other’, but we really do, we really really do. And it just evolved so organically. And there was something magical about it just being our voices in the beginning. You know, like sort’ve taking anything else out of the -

Zach: Equation.

Jessica: – you know what I’m saying. I’ve run out of words.

Ashley[?]: Yeah, it’s like an audible penpal. […] speaking to each other for so long.

Jessica: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ashley: It's nice with Jess, [...] she hit it on the head, you know, voice acting, you know, I hate to say it, I don't wanna put Jess - Jessica’s obviously a beautiful woman, but in the booth, it doesn’t matter. We just, pulled out the power and the range that Neve has, and it’s limitless, and as a woman to see that kind of writing and that kind of performance ability is, I know for a lot of us in the room, probably, pretty badass.

Lucy: Jess, I wanna, I'm gonna come back to something, because you mentioned, like, you’ve been messaging, and that the cast, you know, really loves each other, is there a Veilguard groupchat?

Jessica: There are several.

Lucy: Hold up. Who sends the most memes, who is the person who only reacts with the thumbs-up emoji?

Jessica: I, I would say Jeff is the most active, who plays one of the Rooks, I would say, in that respect, and to bounce off what Zach said, just an incredibly generous actor. And then, Ali, like it’s so true, like I had that story too, like literally even being back there, I was like, [gasp], I was like, she’s like, ‘it’s gonna be okay’, she’s like, ‘it’s good, it’s like, you’re gonna love it, it’s gonna feel special’. She literally like held my hands and like looked into my eyes and was like [inhale, exhale], you know? [looks at Ali and reaches out to her] I love you.

Lucy: I was gonna say, if we’re doing an Ali love-in, she did that for me too. So.

[?]: She does that for everyone.

Lucy: She’s done it for everyone? Fantastic!

Ali: Guys, you’re making me cry!

Lucy: We didn’t expect, hang on, we did expect one of our companions to be - a stone cold gray fox. BioWare treating us well. Emmrich has been driving the internet wild. And so, John, can you give us a little bit of background there?

John: Absolutely.

Lucy: Where did Emmrich come from?

John: I mean honestly, I will say like, we expected a great reaction to Emmrich. Went beyond what we expected for sure. But it’s been fascinating to see, because again, Emmrich is this character, he’s more of the professorial, more, he brings a wisdom and kind of a calmness to the group, so even when things are at their worst, there’s that one person in the group who’s kind’ve like, ‘okay, you know, we’ve got, let’s figure it out, slow, take a deep breath’. And just his journey through his character arc and his interaction with the others, it’s been fantastic to see. Even just finding opportunities for him to bounce off the other characters, you know, the way he talks to Bellara, the way he talks to Neve, it’s all so different, but it’s all so just, again, based around this core of this warm, kind-hearted, professorial necromancer, which again is not something that you see a lot of in media, usually necromancers are depicted a very specific way. But it’s been, just awesome to see how Emmrich has grown and just, really one of the most, one of my favorite experiences has been just working with Emmrich’s writer and working with Emmrich as a character.

Lucy: And Nick, you are the voice behind Emmrich.

Nick: I am.

Lucy: How did you prepare for the role, you know, what were you told about him before you got into the booth for the first time?

Nick: I think I’ve been preparing for Emmrich all my life. I was very attracted to the role initially. And I was so, I was overjoyed when I got it because I think it was, the writing of Emmrich is really fascinating. It’s this, this man that is obsessed with death, on one hand, but on death as a comfort, death as a transition, death as something that is not scary, and that ability to enable people to transition, and the investment that he gives in that sphere, which we don’t give in our own lives. I was immediately attracted to that and I thought that that was – I’d never seen that before, and so to go in these two ways, to talk about death and to talk about it in a way that is kind and that the transition becomes a kind transition, that was fascinating to me, and I think, will be fascinating to you too, yeah.

Lucy: And I hear as well that Emmrich gets, I mean, you’re all gonna get some fantastic lines, but I hear that Emmrich has some quite spectacular ones. You, Nick, you and Ashley, I would love to hear about the process of, was it difficult to get like some of those tongue-twisters, and?

Ashley: Yeah, Sylvia the lead writer basically was like, ‘Ash, you’re gonna need a dictionary for all of the sessions with Emmrich’, it’s like, 'Okay!'. And we get there, you just nailed them all, like 'shduhfejdkjjdhdjdhfjehfjkhehe into the Fade'.

Nick: Well, I don’t know if I nailed them all, that’s very kind of you. But, there was some serious tongue-twisters there, and, but it’s great, it’s great to be in the booth, and to be given a challenge like that, and. Yeah, it’s fantastic, I mean that’s what I love to do, so it was great to be just gifted that.  

Ashley: You’re such a natural nerdy scientist. […]

Nick: It's my inner self.

Ashley: It's your inner secret.

Nick: Yeah.

Lucy: Now I love that, and I think, I think the, I, I’m drawn towards with Emmrich is that like, he loves learning.

Ashley: Yeah!

Lucy: It’s very clear, like, it seems like you’ve really just thrown yourself into this role and the world of Dragon Age. You know, I asked Zach a similar question and it’s like, you’ve been working on this for so long, what’s it like now that people have caught a glimpse of your character, it is just a glimpse, but people are desperate to know more?

Nick: I mean it’s so interesting that this character has kind of caught fire a little because, when I did it I thought ‘okay, well everyone else is like so sexy and like, it’s just amazing, and I’ll just be this kind of professorial kinda guy chatting in the background, having fun, you know, dealing with death, and you know, on the side’, and suddenly it became this thing of like, no, this is actually really interesting. And I think people have found it interesting, and I love that! I love that you guys have also found it as interesting as I have as because, it’s, it's a fantastic character, he’s a fantastic character, honestly.

Lucy: I mean, Ashley, working with Nick, any other highlights to share about your time in the booth, or?

Ashley: Oh man, every, Nick is the most consistent person I’ve ever met in the booth – or in his garage.

Nick: Yeah.

Ashley: Recording booth, he’s really like [a hippy in art?], so I, so it’s kinda trippy, seeing you again in person and knowing what your character looks like.

Nick: Yeah.

Ashley: But yeah, you’ve just been so consistent with Emmrich and bringing this grounded-ness, and I’ve learned so much working with you, and. Yeah, now, you tell me, what, what good really looks like.

Nick: Oh wow, thank you, thank you. Appreciate that.

Lucy: I mean obviously, there’s Manfred too.

Nick: [gasp!]

Lucy: Played by Matt Mercer. What was it like kind’ve having another character to [...] bounce off of?

Nick: Oh man! I mean that is such a hard question because Matt and I have never met.

Ashley: Yeah.

Nick: And we worked completely separately, and. I mean I know that the rapport is really great, but it’s in the ether, I mean it is just, the magic that these guys create, telling us how to respond, how to do that, but it’s, I can’t wait to meet Matt.

Ashley: We recorded, basically before Manfred.

Nick: Right.

Ashley: All of before Manfred.

Nick: Right.

Ashley: And so Manfred got to play off of your straight delivery -

Nick: OH he did? I did not know that. Oh man!

Ashley: I know!

Nick: He got the easy part!

Ashley: Yeah, totally! So you set him up, just to knock it out of the park –

Nick: Right!

Lucy: Okay, so you got to set the tone. You get [...]

Ashley: Yeah, yeah […]

Nick: Right right right right. I set the tone!

Lucy: And, finally. Last but certainly not least, Ali Hillis returning as Scout Harding. Please [indicates for applause]. Now, I’m so excited because, she’s one of my favorite Dragon Age characters period and it looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more of her. But what has she been up to, John, between Inquisition and The Veilguard?

John: So I mean, if you’ve read the comics, you know that Scout Harding has been working with Varric to track down Solas. So she has been on his tail for quite some time. The game starts just as they finally - tracked him down, figured out where he is, but she’s been working with the remnants of the Inquisition, working with Varric, and then also working with Rook and Neve. Again, if you read the comics, you know that Harding has met Neve, they have a […] relationship before the events of the game. But yeah, she is dedicated to taking someone who used to be a friend, someone she considered, you know, even if they weren’t close, because Harding wasn’t part of the Inquisitor’s core companions, somebody she knew, somebody who treated her with some amount of respect, and knowing what he’s up to now, knowing she has to stop him, so.

Lucy: She was in the core Inquisitor’s, of my heart, so.

John: That’s right, well, I mean, she had the light romance, so.

Lucy: I tried to flirt with her every time. Never went anywhere. Ali, you are no stranger to playing beloved BioWare characters, obviously, Doctor Liara T’Soni.

Ali: [in her Liara voice] It is very nice to see you all today.

Lucy: What’s it like to be returning as Lace Harding?

Ali: First of all, it was a complete surprise. I don’t know if it was for you guys, but it was for me. So I was so excited when I got that call, because I had no idea it was coming. And after recording the last Dragon Age, and going to cons, much like this one, and having the line in front of me and all my pictures spread out, and every few people, someone would come up and say, well, ‘Where’s your Scout Harding photo?’ I was like, ‘oh, I didn’t bring one! Like. I didn’t realize! Okay!’ So I started getting more into the idea that this was a really beloved character, and I didn’t realize! And she was so much fun to create because BioWare gives us so much freedom as actors, it’s such a collaborative effort, both with Liara as well as Scout, I remember getting in the studio for the very first time to record these characters. I do a lot of voiceover, I do a lot of amazing games, I don’t always remember the very first day in the studio with a project, and I do for both of these projects. Because they were so poignant in my life, because it was, it was, a group of people coming together, they had already obviously conceptualized these characters. There was art, there was writing, brilliant writing that we are only so lucky to chew on in these voiceover sessions with such expert direction. The material that we are given to work with, only, just blasts us off this planet, in the acting world. But, just, knowing that when we went in to create Scout Harding to begin with, and one of the ideas I remember us talking about was, like, ‘well, I wonder if she’s kind of a character whom, when she talks, maybe she draws in the dirt with her toe?’ You know, coming up with these little tiny bits of yumminess to create a character and build it, the fact that they give us that honor to work with them on it, you know, is incredible. So when I heard that she was coming back, I was thrilled from the inside out, because I felt a part of this whole thing, so thank you, guys, for bringing her back. You! [to the audience] You! [to BioWare devs' direction] Thank you.

Lucy: I think I can speak for all of us when I say, we are thrilled.

Ashley: Yeah.

Lucy: You know, a lot has changed in the time since Dragon Age: Inquisition. I mean, what, how, for you has the experience of recording changed, like, technology-wise? Obviously, a little thing happened in 2020 we don’t have to talk about, but how has it changed for you?

Ali: Yeah, and speaking of that little thing that we’re not supposed to talk about, but the way that this company pivoted and, I mean, we were working on something, we had a project in the works, and somehow, every single person had to deal with this big thing in the world that we’re not talking about -

Lucy: We can talk about it.

Ali: - and somehow produce a game! So when you guys play this, just know that the amount of effort that went into this one, you know, maybe exceeds every game I’ve ever worked on because, we had to, everyone had to pivot, you know, suddenly we’re working from our garages – me too – and usually we’re wearing pants. And, and, you know, when I worked on past games with BioWare, everybody was in Edmonton, pretty much, and then everyone just kinda dispersed and I didn’t know where anybody was, and Ash was working out of her house all the time. It was incredible because we just did it, we pivoted, like all of you did, like all of us did, and we all came together and we made it happen and I was really really proud of that. Anyway, I know we weren’t supposed to talk about it, but it was magical, and powerful, and incredible. And I’m so sorry, back to the original question.

Lucy: No, I mean, how has the process changed for you?

Ali: The process has changed for me? I got to do p-cap! I got to be her! I got to physicalize, they gave me that, I got to physicalize her this time, which I didn’t get to do last time and I did not get to do in Mass Effect. And I really had a great time with it! Because, just like these guys have all talked about, we all come from different acting and theater backgrounds, I think Ash as well, and different types of performance, and it was cool to get on the volume - the p-cap stage -because, it’s like a theater.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: You have freedom! It’s better than a theater because you can turn around backwards and talk like this and everybody still knows what’s going on, so, it’s freedom in acting and we get to really bring the character to life outside of being behind the microphone and envisioning all of it, we actually get to perform. So that was one big difference for me in this game particularly. That, and the, doing it from my home sometimes in voiceover, or studio, it was, we kinda just, went with the flow.

Lucy: Is it easy to come back to a character that you kinda know inside out, or is it kind of like a mental block about it because you’re returning to something, or is it easier to come up with something new to […] What was it like getting back into the shoes of Harding?

Ali: That’s a really good question because it had been a minute. I mean, I’m so excited this game is releasing, how about you? Woo! You know what, with her, again, just kind of like Liara, because we came about this character so organically, I did ask, I remember asking to hear voice-bytes, I just wanna make sure we were in the same ballpark. But also, you know, there’s been an evolution.

Ashley: Yeah, you’ve seen some shit.

Ali: Yeah. We can’t really talk about it, you guys’ll have to find out for yourselves. But there’s been an evolution, so.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: So, yeah, it’s, it's, I can’t really say anything else about it without giving stuff away.

Ashley: She comes back with such, like, a veteran voice, y'know?

Lucy: Yeah, I kinda noticed that, like, she’s, she’s got a little bit more of an edge to her.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: Yes.

John: Well, she’s been chasing Solas for almost a decade, so.

Ali: And I love that, that is an amazing relationship that you guys created. And then I’ll stop talking about that. Damn!

John: No more!

Ali: I’m so excited!

John: I know!

Ali: I defer to these guys!

Lucy: I mean, question, kind’ve for all of you. We kind’ve touched on it a little bit, the challenges, and you know, the fact that the game is almost here, Fall 2024. I’d love to know, down the line, and just, you know, what’s been kind’ve your guiding light for all of you on this project?

John: I mean for me, it’s always been about, Dragon Age has always been about the people. I mean, the companions, the villains, the allies you make along the way. And for us, making sure that that stayed central, that that was still our guiding light. We really wanted to focus the game, the story, the gameplay, always around yourself as a character, but also the other characters in the world, not just, again, how they relate to you, but also, having these relationships, having this idea of this world that exists, with people that exist, not just as kind’ve a theme park for the player character to go through. But they have lives, and they have internality, like they’ve got an internal life of their own, that cause them to act in ways that may not always be predictable, but is always fascinating, and makes them feel real, even if you’re only getting a few dozen lines, they feel like real people.

Lucy[?]: Yeah.

Ashley: Yeah. I think that was my guiding light, like, I’m, have to find logic in these, you know, over hundred thousand lines in the story and over 700 unique characters you can meet. And I, in this fantasy world, I, we’re all still looking for the truth. What is the truth? How can we ground this? Do I believe it? Do you believe it? Are we in it? And that was always my North star. And, you know, often times I’m in the booth, and sometimes I’ll just, ‘I don’t buy it, I don’t buy it’, or, and, so, it was my job to be the gatekeeper, I felt, in the booth, to make sure, that I buy it, so you will all buy it.

Zach: I made the mistake, before we started shooting, of checking out the Reddit of Dragon Age. Not a good idea. It was a bad idea. But what I did, what struck me is that these people, these fans, have the same passion for this game that I have had for a hundred fantasy worlds. You know, places where I’ve gone into and discovered different parts of myself through. through, following these stories. And so I felt an, I felt so, it was so incumbent upon me to put as much effort as I could into this game. And I really do feel like the fans inspired me to pour my heart and soul into this, and I just cannot wait for you guys to play it, I really cannot.

Lucy: Jessica, what about you?

Jessica: I would say for me it was the dialogue, honestly. I loved the writing, Brianne was my writer, and Ashley, and John, and she’s right, like it’s, you gotta go deeper, and like we’re trying to find it, and we’re trying to find it together, and sometimes we’re not there, and sometimes we have to come back to it, you know, there was, I could tell there was such an evolution in my work, and part of that was because I just kind’ve gave it over to the writing. And whenever I did get to play off the other actors, you know, sometimes they’ll have, you can play in with their lines, and that was just such a joy, and I got to like discover other little parts of the game that I had no idea about, you know, because we’re doing it in isolation. So that was kind’ve the joy for me, and just honestly trusting, trusting the team and Ashley and John, so.

Lucy: Nick?

Nick: Yeah, I mean I’d have to say narrative as well, I think what the writers have done on this show, you don’t get in other games, you just don’t. You don’t get the level of, the depth of character. And character makes story. And that is what they focused on here. And I just kept coming back into that booth going, ‘I’ve never, I’ve never, experienced this before’. And just one last thing as well, I think the fact that we were separate, and I’m only just sort’ve putting this together now, the fact that we didn’t see each other, the fact that we didn’t know each other, has created a kind of magic that, I think is extraordinary. You can’t see somebody and you have to listen in the dark for cues and signals, and you have to put it together. That, that is magical. And I think, out of the chaos of 2020, 2021, 2022, which was exactly when we were recording and trying to figure this out, that’s when the magic came together, that’s, and I think we all feel that here, and I really hope you guys do too.

Lucy: Ali?

Ali: Well I feel like they’ve kinda covered it. I was gonna speak to kinda like what John said. One thing I really like about this game particularly, and I think you guys will find this as well, is you really find yourself in it.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: And the relationships, not only with the player and the people you bring along, but the team with each other, it’s just, it’s so well-written, the relationships are so conditioned that you really get lost in the moment. And I love when I’m at a con signing somewhere and someone comes to the table and says, you know, ‘this is a game that took me away from something I was dealing with in my real life, and I’m so grateful for it’, and I feel like, this is one of those games. This is gonna take you into a world that’s gonna blow your mind. And, I was just so honored to be a part of this group, again, again, I’m just gonna echo everything everybody said. But when I would hear their voices in my cans, in my headset, and I don’t get to see their faces, there is something so specific and so intimate about that experience, when you’re not seeing each other, and you’re just hearing, they have this amazing system where we get to hear each other. Whoever’s recorded first is played, if I’m having a conversation with these guys, if they’ve recorded first, I get to hear them and talk back. Acting is reacting. So it’s really nice that I actually get to react honestly off of these guys with expert guidance. So, I was really appreciative that we’ve conditioned these relationships in a fantasy land and also in real life, and I think you guys will feel that when you play.

Lucy: Now we do have time for Q&A. I'm gonna ask the panel another question, but if you wanna start lining up, we have, people are jumping to their feet already, this is great. We have a microphone right here. Before we go to Q&A, I suppose, what's the big, the biggest takeaway you want when people actually get to play later this year?

John: For me, honestly, it's just, how much this project has just been a team effort in a way that, everyone is working collaboratively with each other, everyone is bouncing off each other. Everyone was talking earlier about the writing, but I think what's fascinating for [...] has been so awesome to see is, the actors also shaping these characters as we built them. Seeing, like, how, Nick delivers a line, how Zach delivers a line, how Jessica delivers a line, how, and then, bouncing off that and then forming the character, shaping the character, so. We realize, okay, so, Ali has this, you know, has this, says things in a very specific way. Maybe we, let's re-write a few things, let's really lean into this, you know, what she brings to the character, and it's just. That's true across the entire team. It's not just the actor, it's not just the writer, but everybody who has worked on it, has a little piece of themselves in it. And to me there's just this excitement that that brings, and just this amazing passion that you can see in everything that's been built in this game.

Ali: It's so cool, I was gonna say, when we were recording, and I know we gotta get these questions, when we were recording during the pandemic and we were at home, I didn't realize sometimes that on the Zoom call I'd only see Ashley's face, or sometimes, you know, whatever, whatever she puts up. And then suddenly I'd have a question, 'hey, so in this line, this and this?', suddenly, like, John, or somebody else would just pop in, and talk about the line, so, we were always collaborating, it was just amazing, I was very grateful to have you guys ever-present.

John: Thank you.

Lucy: Alright. Shall we go to our first question? We all ready?

[?]: Yeah.

Lucy: Alright.

Audience member: Hello. [...] fan of Dragon Age since Origins. Oh, I must say, I am very disappointed with this panel. You've failed to mention a very important part of the game! The factions!

John: Mmm!

Audience member: So I would like to know, what can you tell me about them, and, can you join them, or do you just interact with them?

John: So, you start the game, you get to choose which background you go with. Each one is tied to one of the major factions. But one of our principles from the start was the concept of 'characters not causes'. So we didn't wanna just give you, 'here's the Grey Wardens, they're just kinda this group that exists in the world', we wanted to attach characters to them. So I can speak to the Grey Wardens in particular, anyone who's read comics and any of our short stories know Evka and Antoine, they kind've represent your connection to that faction. And you can work with them throughout the story, you can help them out. And decide how much you want to spend time with them. But each one of them [...] represents these important forces in the world that you need to get on your side if you're gonna stop the end of the world, so.

Audience member: Looks good.

Lucy: I was gonna say, Zach, you've done, you've done your research, so how exciting was it for you to kind've see and hear all these factions coming into play?

Zach: What, I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?

Lucy: You did all your research, so.

Zach: Oh, yeah.

Lucy: How exciting was it for you to hear about these factions and then hearing about how they'll come into play in the game?

Zach: Well, I don't think they kept my voice for Antoine, but I did my best French accent, I think it was pretty painful for everybody else on set, I really did. Oh yeah, the Grey Wardens are a barrel of laughs, those guys, they're absolutely wonderful. Well, yeah, so I had to play a bunch of characters, so I had to really steep myself in the understanding that, okay, the Grey Wardens go a lot, go through a lot, actually, doing what they do. They make a pretty intense bond in order to carry out exactly what they do. So, I tried to bring that as best I can to the physicality when I did do the motion capture and whatnot, but I cannot wait to see how it plays out in the game.

Lucy: Next question.

Audience member: Hello, I've also been a fan of Dragon Age since Origins. So, I've noticed in pretty much all of the games, there's a lot of influence from classical fantasy and mythology. So I was wondering, general question for the whole panel, what was your first exposure to fantasy or mythological storytelling, and do you use any of that in your voice-acting?

John: Hm. I can speak to mine but I can't speak to the voice-acting part, obviously. I mean I read Lord of the Rings at a very young age, and everything that you read that you, any piece of art that you enjoy, engage with, it's obviously gonna have an influence on yourself and also what you do.

Ashley: Yeah, there's a [depth?], in it, you know, to the fantasy world, that acting, it's kind of timeless, right? It can be anything, anywhere, and I feel like when we were doing the voices, we, you know, we didn't want it to be in 2020 or 2024 or whatever, so I think that's how I was most influenced, is, what's the most universal sound or a language, or a mixture of those, that can feel like nobody knows what it is?

Zach: I mean I was obsessed with, I think it's Theseus and the Minotaur, that story, when I was young. Did I just put my foot, I think it's Theseus, it could be Perseus, I can never remember okay?

Audience member: It's Theseus.

Zach: It's Theseus? My man! Thank you. I appreciate it. But I love the symbolism in those types of myths, right? Like, the Minotaur is this half-man, half-beast, who sits in the middle of the labyrinth, and the labyrinth is, of course, your mind, and you are also the Minotaur, and you are also Theseus. But so, getting to see the symbolism that's represented in Dragon Age, and how deep the meaning is, like that, those the stories I've always wanted to tell, ever since I was young, so I, it was a real honor to get to bring this to life.

Jessica: I also, my first, was Lord of the Rings, but I also was very interested in Greek mythology growing up. And, yeah, I think it's that, as Zach said, the symbolism, that you see, and like, I think you really see that in Dragon Age, and I know you know, right, you all, like, know the lore, and go looking for things, and that's really exciting to me. And then, just, yeah, the limitless possibility, right? You're not limited to what people look like, or whether you're human, I don't know, you know what I'm saying, like, that can really can take your mind and the world and the depth of the world anywhere and everywhere. And that's so exciting.

Nick: Yeah, I mean, for me it was The Hobbit, as well, my mom read me The Hobbit, and I would go, 'stop, stop!' And I would run to her closet and put on a pair of her boots, these shiny boots, and wear a cape, and I would go 'okay, okay, carry on' [...], you know, just, I would just, I would just be so in it. And then I'd go like, 'stop, stop, I'm gonna read that bit, I'm gonna read that bit'. And, you know, it was just, it absolutely informed why I'm sitting here today.

Ali: I wish I had better answers. Talking about, instead of yesteryear, talking about recently, I was travelling, and we were in Greece, and I feel like I saw Dragon Age everywhere. Just like an inspiration to travel and look back and, I'm now infatuated with castles. So, actually, it's brought me into this world, instead of me discovering it, you know, a long time ago, this has what's really brought me here.

[?]: Thank you very much.

[?]: Thank you.

Lucy: Thank you for your question.

Audience member: Hello, thank you for answering questions. For the new companions, if you could romance, from your companion's perspective, which older companion would you romance?

Ali: This could get embarrassing!

Zach: I kinda have a thing for The Iron Bull. Yeah, I saw him for the first time when I was looking up some answer to some question I had when I was reading the books, and I was like, 'oh, that awakened something inside of me! Huh! Look at that!' - You guys are gonna leave me hanging after I said that I want to have sex with The Iron Bull?

Jessica: [...] Um, I, I, don't know, honestly, I'm overwhelmed by that question, so [...]

Nick: I guess I'm a little overwhelmed by that question too. I have a particular fondness for Manfred, but, you know that's, that's a very particular relationship. I would say, like, I think what you've done with Solas is really sexy [...]

Zach: Dorian is really cute too. Yeah. [...] the mustache. Dig that guy.

Ali: Well, he's sitting right next to me, so this is a little embarrassing, but every time I heard Emmrich in my cans. Just, woooo. I might be on-board with all of the fans out there for Emmrich. If you'll have me, if you'll have me.

[?]: Thank you.

Panel: Thank you.

Audience member: So, the first game I played was Inquisition, and, this is not a knock, but, because, my reference would be Mass Effect, and I love that series. For Mass Effect 1 to Mass Effect 3, it seems the games was more streamlined. I'm getting the same feel from Inquisition to this one. Does that, what you can expect from gameplay-wise?

John: I mean, I don't think there's any, I don't think it's streamlined, it's. Again, each Dragon Age has been fundamentally different in its gameplay. We've tried things, seeing what works, seeing what didn't. In the case of The Veilguard, just like the other games, you wanna keep that tactical, strategic complexity and make that the centerpiece. And each one we focused on a little bit differently. In the case of this one, I think our skills in particular are some of the best we've done. There's some exciting combinations you do there, so.

Audience member: Thank you so much.

John: No worries.

[?]: Okay. There we are, okay.

Audience member: I was wondering what your favorite aspect was of the character you voiced?

Lucy: Ali, should we start with you this time?

Ali: I mean, so many layers, man, we're talking BioWare characters here! I think some of my favorite things about Lace Harding are the little things. Like, she loves her mom, you know, she loves to write letters home, she's always talking about her mama's soup and stuff like that. I love that relationship. She likes plants, and raising plants, which is inspirational, since I kill them. But just the texture they add to the characters, that's, in general, but for me, yeah, it's those little things that really kinda give me a bunch of stuff to work with in my brain, for bringing these characters to life.

Zach: I love the fact that Lucanis is a good cook. I just imagine him finishing a job and then going home, and, you know, cooking him a meal to kind've calm himself down, but with like the same knife he just used to murder somebody. He cleaned it of course, he cleaned it, but at the same time [...] -

Ali: I recommend my mama's soup.

Jessica: I really enjoyed, we sort've worked to bring, like, a noir element to Neve, and her being a private investigator, and so I really enjoyed leaning into that. And then she's just so dry, you know, like, things really mean a lot to her, but she's not necessarily gonna let you know that, you know what I mean? You have to kind've, like, discover that underneath. And, so I, I related to that, and I love that about her.

Ali: I was gonna say, 'I don't know anyone like that'.

Nick: I loved the, the fact that the writers just took Emmrich and explored the whole idea of death. The whole idea of necromancing, and, I really responded to that, I got into that, and bringing kindness into it, I know that sounds crazy, but it's to not have this idea that death is vulgar or kind've to be, something to be terrified about, but something to actually engage with on so many levels. I just thought the fact that the writers had the courage to do that in a game like this, I thought, it just blew my mind.

[?]: Thank you for the question.

Lucy: I think we have time for a couple more quick ones.

Audience member: Hi, okay, so first of all. Okay, hi, again. So, first of all, my dad just died, so [...]

[?]: Oh, I'm sorry.

Audience member: [...] Thank you. [...] So, [...] what you said about your take on Emmrich, really, really, I appreciated that. So, my question, to, I guess, John, would be, so, lore-wise, mechanically, not like story-telling-wise for the lore, how do you decide what lore goes in what games? Like, just, okay, so like, what decides what goes in Dragon Age 3, what goes in Dragon Age 4, what goes in Dragon Age 90-bajillion? Not from like a story perspective, right, but from, like a, what do we want to do, right?

John: Mhm. I mean it really does come down to, each one, as we build, it's, it's hard to say it as [...] something that we come [...], it's like, 'okay, we're gonna do it this way, this way, this way', mechanically, but, we kind've, we always know the base lore of the franchise, of the IP, and as we start to build the story, we start to see these opportunities to again, [...] speaking mechanically, bring certain elements in that make the most sense with the characters we're building and the story we're telling. We try not to overwhelm by saying a bunch, having a bunch of lore included that's not necessarily critical to the understanding of the story, but we always wanna expand the universe, and expand the IP, so.

Audience member: Thank you.

John: You're welcome.

Ali: And, can we please have a Dragon Age 90-bajillion?

John: I'd like that.

Ali[?]: That'd be amazing.

Audience member: Hi, I'm Matt. I've been a fan of Dragon Age since, actually, The Stolen Throne book, before I even knew there was like a game. And my question was, for the voice actors, one of my favorite things is the party banter. Was there any, like, lines of party banter that you recorded that you can say that just made you just, like, laugh, 'cause some of the party banter is pretty hilarious. Like, is there a certain thing that just sticks in your mind, whether you can say what it is, or just who it was with, like, so I can be on the lookout for it?

Ashley: I have one, it's so not appropriate. Do I have permission to say it?

Ali: That's what I was gonna say.

Zach: Yeah, say it.

Ashley: Listen for "hand-to-bone combat".

Lucy: I mean, do we end it there?

Ali[?]: And, scene.

Lucy: Well thank you so much everyone for coming to the panel. Thank you [...] Fall 2024.

[panel ends]

--

[source: DA:TV ‘Meet The Companions’ panel @ SDCC. BioWare have said that they are going to share the recording of the panel at a later date].

[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

[merrybloomwrites]

A Podcast Love Story

Summary: The story of Shayne & Y/N, as told through a series of podcasts

AN: This story was inspired by a request from someone that tumblr isn't letting me tag, so that's dumb lol

Also, I tried to follow the actual timeline of when these podcasts were posted but I did take some creative liberty, so some things might not match up with when the were really posted irl

Wordcount: 3.4K

CW: very light mention of smut, talk about pregnancy

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SmoshCast #75 – How Shayne and Courtney Feel About Being Shipped Together

Dating someone who’s in the public eye was not entirely unexpected. You live in Los Angeles after all. When you and Shayne started dating in 2019 you decided to keep it a secret for a while. Neither of you were ready to share your relationship with the Smosh viewers yet.

This became more difficult when you decided to quarantine together in 2020 during the pandemic. Two weeks after he returned from Australia, when you were sure that neither of you had Covid, you packed your necessities and headed to Shayne’s. It was nice being together, but it did get complicated when he needed to film videos.

Sometimes you would go for a walk while he was filming. Other times you would hide in the other room. He’d triple check all his footage before submitting it to make sure you, and any of your belongings, weren’t in frame.

One day, a few months in, he and Courtney are recording an episode of the SmoshCast. He sets up at the small dining table in the corner of the living room. You’re on the couch, meaning you can’t be seen on the camera, but you are in Shayne’s view. It might not have been the smartest decision since you’re now stuck there for the entire time they record, but you have a book and a snack, so you get cozy.

You can only hear Shayne’s side of the conversation, so you’re not fully paying attention. That is, until you hear Shayne say, “If we so much as say hi to each other, Shartney fans poop themselves.” The mention of this ship between him and his castmate has you more focused on the conversation. Not because you’re jealous, because that would be ridiculous, but because all of you find it quite funny how hard the two of them are shipped.

He can’t stop looking over to you for the entire ten-minute segment. It’s subtle, but there’s definitely a connection between the two of you. It’s obvious that he’s reassuring you that there’s nothing to worry about. You especially like when he says, “You can ship me with anything. Ship me with bananas.” And you nearly lose it when he says, “I am begging you, please, make a ship edit of me and Kathy Bates.”

They continue to talk and the conversation steers towards how fans make assumptions based on what they see in videos. Shayne brings up how people were concerned about him for a few weeks at the beginning of quarantine. He starts to explain, “I was very quiet in those early podcasts, but the reason was, one, I was not getting enough sleep. I kept staying up late,” here he looks at you before quickly saying, “playing video games.” You again struggle to keep quiet, knowing that was not the truth. Unless “playing video games” has now become code for “having intimate moments with my girlfriend”.

He continues to talk about how his setup for recording was less than ideal and finishes by saying, “I wasn’t sad at all, I was actually having great days.” Again, you share a quick look, showing that you agree with him about how wonderful it’s been since you started living together.

They wrap up the podcast a little while later and Shayne is officially done with work for the day.

“Playing video games, huh?” you say teasingly.

“Oh yea, totally a pro gamer now,” he replies.

“You think so?” you say with a laugh.

“I mean, I could always use more practice,” he answers as he lifts you from the couch, carrying you to the bedroom.

SmoshCast #85 – American Horror Story: Adulting

A few months later and things are looking better in the world. This means a return to the office for everyone. You’d landed a job at Smosh, working in post-production, so now you and Shayne work together. You were nervous about being around each other all the time, but luckily there’s still a fair amount of the day when you’re apart. Shayne is often filming or in meetings or busy writing, and you spend most of the time at your desk working on the next video.

But sometimes, you get a break to see him. Shayne, Damien, and Coutney are filming a new SmoshCast episode, and you sneak in to watch from the back. The theme is “Adulting”, and they somehow start by talking about how they interact with the younger generation. You can’t help but smile as Shayne talks about his niece, endeared by the relationship he has with her. He also mentions grandchildren, which makes your imagination run away thinking about your future together.

You stay for a little while and just watch your boyfriend. He’s not saying anything crazy, or doing anything special, but you love listening to him give advice. You also love how attentive he is to his friends, how closely he listens to everything they say. When you do go back to your desk you take a moment to think about how lucky you are that this man, with a solid head on his shoulders and more emotional maturity than you’ve ever seen before, is your other half.

Smosh Mouth #5 – Shayne and Y/N Share Their Love Story

“Welcome back to Smosh Mouth, I’m Shayne.”

“And I’m Amanda.”

“And today we have a very special guest. We have my lovely wife, Y/N Topp,” Shayne says, smiling at you as he finished the introduction.

“Hello everyone,” you say into the microphone.

It’s weird being in front of the camera. It’s only happened a few times in the years that you’ve been with Shayne. Even though you also work at Smosh, you’re always behind the scenes. You’ve only really been in videos that highlight the crew, so the focus has rarely been on you.

But today you’re finally sitting down to do a podcast for the channel. They’d just revived the podcast after a nearly three-year hiatus.

So much has happened in your personal life since then. At the time that SmoshCast was airing, your relationship with Shayne was fairly new, and you weren’t ready to share it yet. Within a year of that last episode going live, you two had gotten engaged. This led to you guys getting married, and as of 22 weeks ago, you being pregnant with your first child.

“Well, I for one am very excited to have you here today,” Amanda says. “I cannot wait to grill you on every last detail of your relationship.” You all laugh at that, knowing that while you’re sharing more personal information than you ever have before, no one is going to push you or Shayne too much.

“So,” Amanda continues. “Tell me, how did you meet?”

You look to Shayne, encouraging him to start the story.

“We met in 2019,” he begins. “Someone had recommended a book to me, so I was at the library to pick it up. While I was looking through the shelf Y/N came over and started looking through the section as well. We kind of started at opposite ends and moved to meet in the middle. Turns out we were both looking for the same book.”

“No you were not!” Amanda interjects.

“We really were,” you say to confirm. “We basically have the most cliché meet-cute story.”

“Ya, no kidding! So, what happened next?” she asks.

“Well, I had picked up the book first and noticed Y/N glance at it. So we started talking and I told her she should take the book first and I’d read it when she’s done.”

“And then he very smoothly said he could give me his number so I could tell him when I was returning the book,” you add.

“Look at you,” Amanda says. “Making the bold moves.”

“I had to give it a try,” Shayne says with a laugh.

“And it worked. I texted him a couple weeks later, the day before I returned the book.”

“I didn’t have her number,” Shayne says. “And I was kicking myself for not getting it because waiting to hear from her was pretty torturous I’m not gonna lie. So as soon as she texted about the book I asked her on a date.”

“Which actually shocked me at first. I really though he only was interested in the book.”

“Did you know who he was?” Amanda asks. “Like, had you watched Smosh or seen him on TV before you met?”

“I did know who he was. I had just started watching Smosh, so I recognized him but really didn’t know much about him.”

“Did you start watching old videos and try to get to know more about him after you met? Or after he asked you out?”

“I tried not to. I wanted to get to know him naturally, not through videos online. But there was a video posted after he asked me out but before our date called ‘Why We’re Bad at Dating’ and I couldn’t resist. And I truly think it helped us hit it off on that first date.”

“How so?” Amanda inquires.

Shayne takes that question, saying, “In the episode I talked about what I do on dates that kind of lead to there not being a second date. And Y/N/N called me out on that.”

You chime in, adding, “He said he puts on a ‘CW’ version of himself. I told him not to do that. And I admitted to being just as anxious about the date as he was so we should just forget the pressure and hang out and get to know each other.”

“Well, that’s adorable,” Amanda says. “So obviously you started dating and kept dating. When did you take the next step?”

Shayne takes this question and says, “I asked her to be my girlfriend a couple months later. And then we moved in together shortly after the start of the pandemic. Which was slightly challenging when it came to filming at home for Smosh since we wanted to keep the relationship a secret for a while.”

“Yea, how in the world did you make that work?”

“We were very, very careful,” you say. “I definitely hid in the bathroom more than once to stay out of frame.” At this you all laugh, and you add, “Totally worth it, though.”

“Ok, next juicy question. Shayne, how did you propose?”

“So, I hired a sky writer,” he says before laughing and continuing, “No, just kidding. We’d been dating for a year and a half, living together for almost a year at the time. We rented a cabin in Colorado for a few days and on the second day we went on a hike. Packed a picnic, did the whole thing. And I uh, I proposed at the top of the mountain.”

“You guys are literally a romcom,” Amanda quips.

“Would a romcom do a hike proposal? I feel like they’re always at fancy restaurant or the beach. Or like, yelling ‘Will you marry me?’ As the girl walks away down a street in the pouring rain,” you say.

“Oh, a hike proposal is very Lifetime or Hallmark.”

“Good point, it’s totally been in at least one of those movies.”

“Did you like that it was on a hike?” Amanda asks.

“Yea, Y/N/N, did you like it?” Shayne says, pretending to be truly concerned and worried about your answer.

“Hated it,” you say jokingly. “No, honestly, I loved it. Shayne and I always bonded over how much we love nature, so it was perfect for us. I can’t imagine it being any other way. I know a lot of girls want to make sure their nails are done so they get that perfect ring picture, which totally fine, not judging at all. But it definitely felt right that I literally had dirt under my nails and scrapes on my palms from slipping up the hill. Much more authentic that way.”

“And the wedding, anything you want to share about it?” Amanda asks.

“We actually got married in New Mexico,” you say. “It was the central spot for both our families. It was last April, so, beautiful weather during the day. And we lucked out that the temperature didn’t drop too much at night.”

“Very nice,” Amanda replies. “Shayne, anything to add?”

“We kept it pretty small, just family, and close friends. I feel like it was a very typical wedding, but it was ours, you know? So, it was special.” Shayne blushes and you know that your wedding day means more to him than he’s letting on. And that’s fine with you. It was a private event, and even though you’re sharing your relationship now, neither of you want to give away too much about your wedding.

“Aw, he’s getting red,” Amanda jokes. “Did you go on a honeymoon?”

“We did. We went to Hawaii. Neither of us had been before so we knew it would be special for us. We wanted to experience something new together,” you answer.

“Cute!” she replies. “Now, dedicated fans know you guys are together, know you’re married and all that. But there is some news you two have to share that no one knows, is that correct?”

“That’s right,” Shayne says. He looks at you, silently asking if you want to say it. But you can tell he’s bursting to tell everyone, so you give him a nod to continue.

“Y/N and I are having a baby,” he says.

“Hell yea you are! Smosh baby!” Amanda cheers. “Congratulations to you both! Y/N, how are you feeling?”

“Pretty good right now. I’m in the second trimester so my morning sickness is mostly gone, thank god. We’re very excited, got some classes we’re planning to take and we’re reading all the books so I’m sure we will still be extremely unprepared,” you say with a laugh.

“If there’s anyone I trust to figure it out and be great parents, it’s the two of you,” Amanda replies earnestly.

“Thank you, Amanda,” Shayne says.

The podcast continues with Amanda continuing to ask questions and you and Shayne sharing more stories about your time together.

You wrap up recording by mid-afternoon. You have an appointment with your doctor scheduled and since it’s so close to the end of the day, Shayne was also given time off to join you. Everything goes well and as he drives you both home you can’t help but be grateful that the two of you were brought together.

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories: Office Nightmares

It’s been a month and a half since recording your episode of SmoshMouth, and three weeks since it aired. The news that you and Shayne are expecting a baby spread faster than anything you’d experienced before. You’d both received messages of congratulations from more people than you had ever expected: from Smosh fans to Disney fans, and even Goldbergs fans. You never imagined the amount of support you’d receive.

You had the morning off for yet another checkup with your doctor. You get back to the office early, but technically you’re still scheduled to be off, so you opt to sit in as they record the next Reddit Story video/podcast. It’s one of your favorite series currently, and you love listening to Shayne read all the stories.

He begins the third story, reading the title, “Am I the asshole for telling my wife that I’m not taking off of work to be present at our daughters’ birth?”

They joke around for a bit, and then he dives into the story, reading how the man explains that he couldn’t take off work cause there’s a project and they need him there. The wife finds out that’s a lie, and it mad that he didn’t take time off. He says he wants to work more so they’d have more money after the birth, and that the baby wouldn’t even remember him being there. He finishes by saying he doesn’t know why it’s such a big deal to be there at the birth, and even blames the wife’s hormones for her being upset about it.

Shayne, along with Spencer and Tommy begin to share their thoughts on the story. You smile and nod as Shayne makes the point of, “He keeps saying the baby’s not gonna remember, but you’re fucking wife will!”

They even give reasons why they’d understand him not being there, with Tommy saying, “If they were really desperate for cash then I’d get it,” and Spencer saying he’d understand if he were terrified of being around childbirth.

The boys then look over to you and Spencer says, “Y/N, you’re pregnant, how do you feel about this story?”

“Yea,” Tommy adds, “would you kill Shayne if he did this?”

“Oh, for sure!” you call out.

“C’mere,” Shayne says. “You’re probably the one most qualified to give an opinion here.”

You look to Kiana who’s directing the video and she gives you a nod, so you walk onto the set and stand behind Shayne, leaning down so your face is next to his and your voice will get picked up on his microphone.

“What are you’re thoughts on this?” Tommy asks.

“You guys definitely made a lot of great points. I mean, childbirth is terrifying, and I keep trying to ignore the fact that I do have to actually, you know, birth a human. But I know that Shayne will be there and is studying to be the best support person. I mean, he’s read enough books about it, I think he could deliver the baby himself if necessary,” you say with a laugh.

“I will add, if this was the father of my child, I’d wonder what he actually deems important. Because this is arguably one of the biggest days of everyone’s life. First of all, it should be important to him. It’s literally his child entering the world. It’s a privilege to be one of the first people that baby will ever meet. And then, what will be a big enough deal for him to take off work in the future? Baby’s not gonna remember her first birthday, is he gonna go to that? She has a dance recital at three years old, is he going to think that’s silly and not go?”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that, but it makes sense,” Spencer replies. “He definitely seems to have his priorities and being there for his family isn’t one.”

“I truly cannot imagine not being there when our kid is born,” Shayne says. “My worst fear would be if something kept me from being there.”

“Because you’re a good person,” Tommy says bluntly, and everyone laughs.

You head back off camera as they continue on.

After a few more stories Shayne begins another entry, titled, “And I the asshole for eating the last doughnut before my pregnant coworker could have one?” He looks at you once he reads it and laughs before saying, “Y/N’s face says, yes absolutely you are.”

He reads the story which explains that the young employee ate his allotted two doughnuts, and when the pregnant coworker didn’t show up after half an hour, he ate her two as well. She gets there shortly after and explains she had car trouble and is upset to see everyone had a treat but didn’t save her any. Later, the boss pulls aside the employee to tell him he’d been rude to his coworker.

After he finishes the post the boys discuss the etiquette of eating communal snacks in the office before Shayne says, “Also, if there is one thing I know, it’s that you never mess with a pregnant woman’s food unless you want to die.” You laugh so loudly at this that you know for sure the mics picked it up from across the room.

“Y/N, anything to add?” Spencer says.

You walk over again and state, “Listen, all I’m say is that I’m mad you guys are just talking about doughnuts when we don’t have any. Cause cravings are a bitch and now I am literally not going to stop thinking about doughnuts until I get one.”

After moving offscreen you realize you need to pee, again, so you leave the studio to head to the bathroom. Once you’re out of the room Shayne says, “Hey Kiana, can I have my phone a second?”

“Why do you need your phone?” Spencer asks.

“I gotta doordash some doughnuts.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Thanks for reading! Let me know if you have any requests for Shayne stories!

Taglist: @american-girl001 @tatumrileyslover @queenofcaradelle @1nkm0nster

[eamour]

Hi i don't know if you'll reply/repost this ask but i really believe what i have to say is needed to help people in the manifestation community i am only sending this to you because you are one of the few active ones with a decent following that can get the word out..

The amount of complications people in this community have brought upon themselves is just infuriating and annoying the amount of creators/blog writers that come up with something new every week are just deceiving and preying on people who want to have a better life if you care i hope you'll post this.

Lies and overcomplications like;

'You shouldn't feel lack' 'don't focus on the 3d' 'know that you have it and go on with your life' 'this is the only way you can manifest' 'don't try to affirm or visualize it won't work its just endlessly affirming' 'feel it know' the amount of 3d and 4d 'live in imagination' is all a bunch of bs what Neville said is not the final! And you all seem to forget that

You can do all that and still get what you want sure! you can manifest this way too but why overcomplicate it?

(Yes there is a possibility that spreading this misinformation may not be necessarily intended to cause harm and might be just a misunderstanding from bloggers as well but it still causes to harm to those who are vulnerable and are just wanting to better their life and learn about manifesting)

None of this matters you are the only one who makes yourself manifest and there are many ways and you can use any way/method the problem on tumblr is people push only one way no you don't need to be fulfilled in imagination or 'know you have it and shut up in order to manifest sure Neville found a good way but its not the only way but the amount of people here who push this as if it's the only way and say if you don't do this you will never manifest are fcking playing with people's time and energy! i'm here to root for how far visualization affirming and robotic affirming goes,just for the average person its just such a quick and easy and 'failproof' way to 'get you desires' you don't need to hate the word 'get it' or something like that you don't have chase after knowledge or understanding to 'finaly manifest', when i went back to watching sammy and just affirming with no care about believe the thoughts no care about things like 3d or 4d no care about fulfilment or doing it to get it or anything like that...I've been carefree i don't worry at all...we are always learning about life and spirituality but you don't need an awakening or some sacred knowledge to manifest

You can read these posts that helped me but please no more,thats it no need to scroll and scroll and search for an answer

You don't need to read it all throughly just get the main idea you're good (most of them are short)

https://www.tumblr.com/imperfect777/744087420843245568/stop-scrolling-on-tumblr-twitter-pinterest-etc?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/miracledarling/715265433528320001/the-key-to-manifesting?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/sp0iledprincess55/744703729957257216/100-proof?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/dreamsintoreality111/672119540555153408/hey-do-you-prefer-to-change-appearance-through?source=share

My tips and experience..

All this time after being kinda obsessed with the void state (don't even get why people renamed the i am state by Neville lol) trying all things but just being lazy giving up restarting and going back to the old way of thinking, thinking 'why i fail' but now looking back and realizing i just got distracted and stopped never persisted .... now i realize how easy it is but what tumblr was doing was just discouraging me all along so many people lied or were misguided and said 'don't endlessly affirm just decide' implying if you try affirming you'll do it endlessly and never have what u want.. and so i listened....i used to watch sammy after a few videos last year i joined tumblr for a few 6 months at some point i was just reading things which have already been said and read..so i quit and decided to delete tumblr to just actually apply because reading the same thing over and over is no use...i'm now watching sammy ingram again so this is what i vouch for, affirming and thoughts watching sammy ingram (if just deciding or knowing seems like its not for you sammy ingram is great and in my opinion if i also just know or decide its mine then by affirming aren't i just reminding myself..'knowing' & 'deciding' in a way too?) again sammy joe dispenza is more helpful compared to tumblr over 6 months... i have logged back after a month typing this rn to help people and will delete my acc today even the creators i used to follow haven't posted in weeks and i urge people to leave tumblr after a certain point please live your life.

posting this for everyone who is currently overcomplicating the law and beating themselves up for not "doing it right". ♡

i want to add something: you can believe in all of these things (such as "feeling it real" instead of "affirming to get") and if it works for you, that’s good! that’s quite literally the law. but if it’s the opposite for you, if you think that it’s too much work and you would rather robotically affirm to get your desire, then do that.

i have seen both sides on tumblr and twitter, and they are both successful. it’s up to you what you want to make work for yourself!!

[musings-of-a-rose]

Marcus

Pairing: Marcus (Pike, Moreno, Acacius) x f!reader

Word Count: 6900+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: I saw a post from @pimosworld innocently asking for a Marcus bachlorette style fic and, while this isn't exactly right, this is what my brain came up with. Shoutout to @mermaidxatxheart for listening to me ramble and helping me, as well as @vanemando15 for being a cheerleader!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Marcus Moreno Masterlist

Marcus Pike Masterlist

Marcus Acacius Masterlist

“Thanks for coming to Level Up Comics!” I smile at the customer as I hand them their bag, a quiet grunt all I get in return before they head out the door, the little bell jingling with their exit. I stretch, walking around from behind the counter and heading back towards the display case where several boxes sit in front, unopened figurines and collectibles pouring from them. My family and friends thought I was crazy for opening a physical media store in this age of digital products. They said no one would come in let alone want to actually buy “this crap.”

But here I am, a few years after opening, and I’m doing pretty good for myself. There are still collectors out there who want their favorites in case something happens to their files. They want the figurines from the original manufacturers, rather than printing them themselves. I can’t blame them. There’s something different, something magical about reading the printed word, having a figure of your favorite character that was made decades ago by something other than a 3D printer in someone’s basement.

The bell jingles and I yell out a greeting, shoving a few more figures in the back of the case before standing and turning, a pair of dark brown eyes meeting mine. I can already feel the smile on my face. 

“Hi, Marcus!” Shit, was that too enthusiastic? If it is, he doesn’t let on, his own smile shyly spreading across his face. “How…how are you?”

He rubs the back of his neck with his large hand, his eyes darting away from mine. “I’m..I’m good. You?”

“Good. That’s good. I mean, I’m good. Good. It’s all…good.” What the fuck?

He chuckles lightly, looking anywhere but at me. “Good.”

We’re both silent for several moments. He’s so hot. Way out of my league hot. And the weird thing is, I don’t even think he realizes just how attractive he is. 

“Did my back issue of X-Men come in?”

“Oh!” I slap my forehead. “I almost forgot! Yes. Let me get that for you.” Trying desperately to hide the heat in my cheeks, I quickly walk around the counter, kneeling to sift through the special order pile. 

“You got more figures in?”

“Yeah,” I yell from my crouched position. “There’s a few bins in the back I haven’t emptied yet. Feel free to have a look!” 

“Thanks.” I hear him shuffle off towards the back of the shop just as I locate his order. The door bell dings again and I stand, smoothing down my jeans. A man stands at the counter, his bright blue eyes roaming up and down my body before her plasters on the most ingenuine smile I’ve ever seen. 

“Hi. How can I help you?” I ask him as I place Marcus’s order on the counter.

 “Hi beautiful. I’m looking for a comic.”

I internally sigh. I already know where this is going. It happens several times a week.

“Well you’ve come to the right shop. What are you looking for?”

He chuckles, intending to be endearing. It isn’t. “I’m looking for a very specific issue of Hawkeye. You know who that is?”

Seriously? “I am very familiar with Hawkeye. Are you?”

He scoffs. “Haha. You’re a funny, pretty thing. Anyway, I’m looking for a specific run of his. Do you know what that means?”

Anger surges through me and I grip the desk to ground myself. Out of the corner of my eye I see Marcus at the back of the store, standing and turning towards us but not moving. He’s even hot in my peripheral. 

“Which run are you looking for? Or are you wanting a recommendation?”

He laughs, the vile sound of it echoing off the walls. “A recommendation? From you? What would you know? You’re just a pretty little girl.”

A clunk from the back of the store and I see Marcus trip over one of the boxes. He doesn’t go down, but turns to fix the boxes that he’s kicked over. The man in front of me is unphased, his eyes still on me, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

“Well?” He spits out. 

I look at him, giving him a smile. “Well, if you’re asking me personally, my favorite run is the Matt Fraction run. Not only because of his artistic style and great story, but the fact that they weaved in Clint’s deafness, drawing him wearing his hearing aids, and even doing an entire issue completely in American Sign Language. A great story and representation of a marginalized community from, in my opinion, one of the best and most relatable Avengers. Now, would you like the individual issues, an omnibus, or the digital version?”

The smug smile slowly fades from his face, his eyes hardening. “You don’t have to be such a bitch.”

“I do when customers act like a bitch.” 

He grabs the fliers on the counter and throws them at me, turning towards the door. “Fuck you and this place!” He tries to slam the door behind him but he fumbles with the handle, flipping me off one final time before disappearing around the corner. 

I sigh, bending down to pick up the fliers. A hand reaches out, large and inviting, carefully helping me pick up the scattered papers. I look up at him, at Marcus, sweet Marcus. Who had heard all of that. 

“I’m sorry Marcus. I shouldn’t have lost my cool.”

He hands me the small stack he’s collected, meeting my gaze. “You don’t have to apologize for standing up to a sexist asshole. I should be the one who’s sorry.”

I combine our stacks, both of us standing as I tap them on the counter to even them out. “Why should you apologize?”

“I should’ve come to help,” he rubs the back of his neck, his ear turning slightly pink. 

I shake my head. “No, Marcus don’t worry about it. I get assholes like that all the time. Really, it’s ok.”

He shakes his head. “It’s really not-”

To my own surprise, I reach out and squeeze his arm. “Really, I’m ok. Thank you, Marcus.”

He smiles at me, opening his mouth to say something, but his phone rings from inside his pocket. “Sorry. Sorry.” He pulls it out, tapping on the clear screen only he can see. “Shit. I have to take this. Work. You sure you’re ok?”

I smile, trying not to show my sadness at his leaving. “I am. Hope everything’s ok at work.”

“Thanks. I’ll uh…see you around.” His eyebrows pull together as his phone rings again, his eyes moving down to the screen before he turns around and heads out the door, pausing to give me a wave through the window before he disappears into the crowd. 

I’ll never meet a man owning this shop. They’re either assholes, taken, or hopelessly out of my league. My own phone beeps and I pull it out, scanning the clear screen with my reservation confirmation. I tap the confirm button, nerves flooding my system. 

I can’t believe I signed up for a virtual version of the bachelorette.

—----

I closed the shop early and rushed home to get ready for that night. I arrive promptly at 7pm as they requested, the giant VIRTUAL LIFE logo on the side of the building bathing the sidewalk in bright blue light. I take a deep breath and walk inside, the door disappearing momentarily to let me in before reappearing behind me. The front desk assistant guides me to a row of elevators and instructs me to head to floor 28. I’m the only one in the elevator, the lights illuminating each floor as we pass it. The elevator stops and the doors open to a small waiting room, black leather couches and chairs surround a coffee table with several tablets, each loaded with some form of entertainment. While it looks like there are windows, if you look closely, you can tell they’re simulated, trying to grant us as much privacy as possible. Although, I think it may be more about guarding their own technology secrets. 

“Ivy?” a woman calls my name from the only doorway in the room aside from the elevator. I nod, standing and smoothing down my dress. 

“That’s me.”

“Right this way.” She leads me into another small office, a simple desk with a single chair for me to sit in. She sits opposite me at the desk, tapping in mid air at what I’m assuming is the computer screen in front of her. 

“Ivy it says here you signed up for the bachelorette program to meet a compatible mate. Is that correct?”

Swallowing down my embarrassment, I nod. “Y-yeah.”

She taps a few more things. “Great. Do you know how this works?”

“You guys take a picture of my brain and show me a story?”

She chuckles, the first time her professional demeanor has broken. “Almost but not quite. After we’re done here, you will be taken to the simulation room. You’ve already done your physical-”

“Yeah. They had me put on this suit and they captured the way I moved. Motion capture, I think?”

She nods. “Yes that’s it exactly. This way, your avatar inside your world will move like you. It helps with immersion.” I nod. “They also completed your brain scan to find the most viable dates and look of mate that you are searching for. You indicated you’re looking for a male mate, is that correct?”

I nod. “Yeah. Yes.”

She nods. “Alright. If you’ll go through the door, someone in scanning will take you. Good luck!” She gestures to a door on the opposite wall from where we entered. I go through the door and another woman greats me, leading me to chair where she has me sit and get comfortable. It reminds me of what the dentist chairs used to look like except way more comfortable. She turns to me, holding a helmet with different little lights on it. 

“Any questions?”

“Yeah. So what will he..I mean, how will I know who he is?”

“You will just know. Sort of like in a regular video game, where you can tell who is important to talk to.”

“Ok..but…will he look like him or?”

That’s reassuring. But then she interrupts my thoughts. “Don’t forget, he will be there too also looking for you.”

She shakes her head. “Your algorithm took in your scan and will give him the appearance of someone you find appealing or comforting. We’ve found it’s easier to accept someone if they have an outward appearance you’re already familiar with.”

“So you base connections on personality as opposed to looks?”

She nods. “Those relationships have the highest success rate, so yes.”

“And after, will you show me who he is?”

She nods. “In the simulation, you’ll go on 3 dates. They may be something as simple as communicating in an office to being a superhero or even traveling back in time. The algorithm takes both of your likes, dislikes, and desires and places you in situations. The more you play along and immerse yourself, or yourselves, into the simulation, the better the outcome, meaning a closer connection. And don’t worry - you cannot be physically harmed. And if it’s too much or you want to stop, you only need to say “End simulation”. Please be aware that time may pass differently in the simulation, but you will only be in for an hour. After, you will both meet here, in reality, and can determine whether you’d like to continue with a relationship or not. Any more questions?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so. Not at the moment, anyway.”

She places the helmet on my head, the nodes all changing different colors as it comes in contact with me. She squeezes my shoulder and I look up at her. “Just relax and try to go with the theme. It’s more fun that way, ok?”

I nod, wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. “Yeah. Makes sense.”

“Good luck!” She taps a button on her clear screen and my vision fades to black so just a couple of seconds. But then I’m blinking awake, the tips of my fingers tingling and my toes feeling like they just woke up. My vision starts to clear and the room comes into focus. I’m sitting at a bar, a fancier bar, which explains the nice dress. As my hearing levels out, I realize that the blonde man to my right is talking to me, his body shifted in my direction. His grey eyes are slightly unsettling. This can’t be my mate, can it? 

“...and so I had them fired! Can you imagine? I asked for my steak to be medium and they brought it out medium well. That will teach that guy to listen to the customer at his next job.” Grey Eyes chuckles and takes a sip of the drink in front of him. He nods towards the glass in front of me. “Do you want another?”

“What? Oh, uh sure.” 

He flags the bartender down and orders a rum and coke before making a show of leaning on his beefy arm against the bar. “I’m glad you finally saw reason and agreed to come out with me tonight.”

I give him a small smile. “Yeah. Same here.” This doesn’t feel right. Maybe they got it wrong? Someone bumps into me from behind and grey eyes catches me, glaring at the person who bumped me, who had moved on. 

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah. It’ll take more than a drunk asshole to bring me down.” Grey Eyes laughs, picking up his glass and holding it up towards me. “I’ll drink to that.” I glance down to grab my drink, only to find it wasn’t there. I look back at Grey Eyes and see him frozen in place, the smirk on his face completely gone, his glass shaking as he continues to hold it in mid air. My glass appears next to his, lightly clicking against his glass. 

“Now that’s not very nice.” That voice. I would know his voice anywhere. My entire body relaxes as I turn to look into the dark brown eyes that I love so much.

“Marcus!” I exclaim, ignoring the vein in grey eye’s neck that’s threatening to pop. Marcus on the other hand, looks good. I mean, he always looks good to me but he’s dressed in nice black pants and a light blue button up shirt with matching black jacket. I’m not sure how a blue shirt makes his brown eyes pop, but it does. Marcus pushes his black frames up his nose.

“Hey, Ivy. Sorry to interrupt your date, but this not so kind gentlemen put a little something in your drink.”

“He what?” I blink rapidly a few times, trying to pry my eyes away from him. Grey Eyes vein relaxes somewhat and he sputters out.

“Fuck you man! We’re on a date! What….what are you doing to me?”

Marcus shrugs. “Well, you wanted to make it so she can’t move. Only fair if I return the favor.” 

Grey Eyes goes to say something else, but then seems to recognize the man standing next to me, his eyes going wide.

“Aren’t you the guy that can move metal?”

My eyes snap to Marcus, who is smiling. “I see I have a fan.”

Grey Eyes tries to backtrack. “Listen, man. I’m sorry. I was just trying to get her to loosen up a bit. Have some fun.”

Marcus looks at me, his brown eyes wide and smiling. “Ivy, do you wish to continue your date with this man?”

“Nope.” I pop the “p” sound at the end of the word. “Little hard to have fun when my date is trying to render me unconscious.”

Marcus waves the bartender over. “Call the police. This man is in possession of Freeze Me.”

 A handful of what felt like seconds later, several officers show up and arrest Grey Eyes, who barely puts up a struggle. I turn towards Marcus, my smile stretching my face as I grab his arm. “My hero.”

His eyes dart around the room, his arm coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “It was nothing.”

Gosh he’s so cute when he does that neck rub thing. Wait. Gotta play along. 

“Is Marcus the Metal Bender actually acting shy around me?”

He chuckles nervously and I think how perfect they coded him. Like he was picked out of my brain. Which I guess he was. 

“Just trying to be respectful.”

I wish he wouldn’t. Wait, are we even allowed to have sex in here? Wow, getting ahead of yourself there, Ivy.

“Youwannagetoutofhere?” He speaks so fast it all comes out in a jumble and I cock my head to the side. 

“What?”

He swallows hard and I can’t help but watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “Do you want to get out of here?”

“Hell yeah I do.” 

—-

It’s a few weeks later, or at least it feels like some time has passed. That lady did say time passes differently here. Now I’m in an office building, a stack of files in my arms, walking down the hall. A quick glance around tells me I’m in the Heroics head quarters. Marcus appears from around the corner and looks up at me, smiling and walking towards me. But then a man in a much too tight blue suit with a glowing M on it joins him, Marcus’s shoulders sagging slightly as he gives me a sad little wave.

“When are you two going to go on a date already?” A woman with bright pink hair appears next to me. 

“I uh, me?”

She slaps my shoulder. “Yes, you Ivy.” She leans in closer to my ear. “Aren’t you the one who confessed to having a crush on our heroic leader?”

I will the heat rising in my face to not show. “Oh, I uh..I-”

“You know he likes you too.” Her jaw drops when she sees the confused look on my face. “Oh don’t tell me you can’t tell! That man can hardly look at you and he’s taken down alien forces by just staring at them.”

She feels like a close friend so I go with it. “Yeah, ok I like him. Keep your voice down, will you?” She continues walking with me to the end of the hall where I deposit the stack of files into several slots, each one making a small whoosh sound as they’re whisked away to their destinations.

When I’m done, Pink Hair gently grabs my face and turns me to her. “I love you, Ivy. You know you’re like the sister I never had. So please listen to me when I say ask that man out before something happens and you regret not ever trying.”

Well fuck. That is…really spot on to reality isn’t it? 

I never get a chance to answer her as the entire building suddenly shakes, alarms and lights screeching and illuminating the halls. One of the tall filing cabinets starts to topple in my direction and I can only look on in horror, frozen in place by the rumbling building. I throw my hands up, as if that’s going to stop it, but nothing happens. The cabinet is laid gently on its side, floating to the ground. 

“Come on!” I look up into those dark eyes, Marcus extending his hand to me and helping me to my feet. “We have to get out of here!” He tightens his grip and somehow leads us out of the chaotic building out into the streets. Which is also nuts. People are running everywhere and…wait. Is that an alien spaceship coming towards us??

Marcus pulls me behind a wall, glancing around it and waving hand signals to a small group of heroes across the street behind another wall, Pink Hair amongst them. He turns back to me, his face full of worry as he starts to take his shirt off, exposing…not skin but a uniform? No. His hero costume, which is a black shirt,and arm bands. He sees me staring down and he shrugs. “I normally have a tach vest but we’re out of time.” 

“Should you not go out there without one?”

Marcus shakes his head. “I have to support my team. And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I mean, people safe.”

“You could just stay here with me? The others can handle-” my words are cut off by a giant laser beam cutting through the street, coming directly from the ship. 

He takes my hand and squeezes it. “Get yourself to safety. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I need you to be safe.” Another laser beam, the sound of some smaller buildings crumbling to the ground. “Go! Get to safety!” He releases my hand. 

I get a glimpse of the deep craters that lasers had left in their wake through the cement of the street, the piles of rubble and dust, and this spurs me on.

“Marcus?” He leans against the wall, readying himself, but he looks at me. 

“Yeah?”

Mustering up my courage, I lean towards his hunched body, softly planting a kiss on his lips. When I pull back, I see his chest heaving, his eyes moving between mine.

“Please make it back, Marcus.”

Before he can answer, the ship comes into view and his team moves out, following behind Miracle Guy, who had flown right up the ship and started punching it. Marcus’s head whips around, assessing the situation and I squeeze his arm once more before quickly moving out of the immediate area. I know I should move more, but I can’t get hurt so… 

The fight that ensues between the ship, the aliens inside, and the Heroics team is nothing short of brilliant. They may argue in the halls, but in the field, they all take direction from Marcus, who is a brilliant leader, playing all of their strengths. Marcus bends metal like it’s made of playdough, a beautiful dance of destruction and strength. Then the ship comes crashing down, everyone moving out of the way except-

“Marcus!” I emerge from my hiding place at a full run as the smoke around the alien ship that’s currently scraping along the road as it crashes and envelops Marcus. The ship stops, groaning as it falls back and lays still, no other life forms moving or detected on board. For a few moments, no one moves. Then Marcus emerges from the smoke, his face soot stained and a small gash in his shirt and along his cheek, but otherwise unharmed. 

“Marcus!” I run to him, his eyes finding mine, his entire body relaxing as he realizes I’m safe, just before I launch myself into his arms, our lips crashing together as my right hand fists in his shirt, my left tugging on his hair. Miracle Guy wolf whistles but I couldn’t care less. I feel his tongue gently lick out and I part my lips, letting him take whatever he wants. But before it can go any further, my vision starts to blacken, the last thing I see is Marcus’s eyes going out of focus as he succumbs to his own transition to the next simulation.

—----

I find myself blinking awake for the second time in what feels like weeks, but I know in reality it’s only been maybe 20 minutes that I was in there. The tips of my fingers and toes are tingling, my vision and hearing clearing and I find myself in…a breakroom. Am I back at the Heroics? The slight weight in my hand takes my focus and I realize I’m holding a cup of tea. I must be on my break. I walk towards the floor-to-ceiling windows, looking outside. I’m not back at Heroics - the cityscape is all wrong. I hear the door open behind me and I turn, the smile on my face widening as Marcus enters the room. His hair is shorter than the last simulation. And his face is clean shaven, which is a look I’ve never seen on him before. Not that it matters - he’s beautiful no matter what. I wonder what he’ll look like when he’s a little older. Probably hot as-

“Hey, Ivy.” Marcus smiles down at me, grabbing his own mug and pouring a cup of coffee from the carafe. I notice the FBI logo on the mug and figure that must be where we are.

“Hey,  Marcus.” I take a sip of my tea as we both watch the other. But then the door opens again, another agent walking into the room. He claps his hands together, looking at us.

“Hey! Congrats on finally cracking that art case, you two! 8 months is a long time to do an operation like that. Great work!” He shakes both of our hands as we thank him. Marcus catches my eye and, with a small movement, jerks his head towards the door. I nod, thanking the other agent again and follow Marcus out of the tiny breakroom and down the hall, stopping in front of an office door labeled MARCUS PIKE. I wonder if that's his name back In reality. He extends his arm towards his office and I head inside, smiling at him as I do, noting how his eyes dart around, that hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck as he closes the door behind him.

“I uh…great work, Ivy.” 

“You too.” 

He puts his hands in his pockets and finally looks me in my eyes and he nods once. 

“Listen. Do you..uh..I mean, would you like to…this is coming out all weird.”

I squeeze his arm and he looks down at my hand, taking a deep breath. 

“Would you like to get something to eat?”

My stomach erupts in butterflies. “Like on a date?”

The redness in his eyes spreads down onto his cheeks as he stammers, gesturing around vaguely. “No! No, not uh. Not a date.”

I can feel my face falling. “Oh.”

“Uh, unless you…uh…unless you want to? Make it a…a date?” His eyes are wide and bright, like a damn puppy. 

I smile, tucking some hair behind my ear. “Yeah. Yeah, I would love to go on a date with you, Marcus.” 

His smile is bright, lighting up the room. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

He let's out a sigh of relief. “Great! I found this great pancake place.”

Pancakes? I love this man already. “It's nearly dinner time!” I can't help the small giggle that I let out. 

“Yeah, well you said your favorite food is pancakes. And they're open 24 hours.”

He remembered my favorite food? I'm so screwed. Damn this program is good. “You're right! I'd love to get pancakes with you. On a date. For a date. When will this date be, by the way?”

“Oh. I uh, would it be too weird if we went tonight? Is that too soo-”

“No! I mean, yes! No it's not too soon. I'd love to go!” If my heart could stop beating through my chest, that would be great. It's not that I'm some young girl getting asked on her first date. I just really like Marcus. Or whomever this is. My heart sinks at the thought of it not being the Marcus I know in reality. 

“Great! I'll pick you up at 7? Unless you'd rather meet me there? I don't want you to be uncomfortable.”

“Marcus, we just spent 8 months together on assignment. I think I'm comfortable around you.”

He chuckles. “Fair point.” His office phone rings and he apologizes to me, picking it up. I wave ro him and he mouths “See you at 7!”

—----

He picks me up with a flourish of flowers, all long legs and button up shirt that I'm really dying to unbutton. If that's even allowed here. 

But what's more than that is the conversation. I thought I had learned everything about him over the last 8 months. I was very wrong. 

“You were a bass player in a band?” I ask, choking on my drink.

He laughs, holding his hands up in front of him. “What can I say? I wanted to meet more people.”

“I bet you had all the girls hanging on you.”

Marcus shrugs. “Not really. They all want to date the drummer or the singer.”

“Really? Not the sexy bass player?”

Marcus takes too large of a sip of his drink and coughs, pounding his chest. “No, not the…you think I'm sexy?”

I set my fork down and meet his eyes. “If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be here.”

We spend several moments, just looking at each other and then I remember that he's not a simulation but a real person on the other end of those eyes. My heart squeezes thinking about how it won't actually be Marcus. Despite that thought, we really get along well and the conversation flows freely between us. Sooner than I’d like, we’re leaving the small diner, heading back to my place. Marcus parks in my driveway and turns to me, his eyes bright and wide like a damn puppy. We had been talking about books, one of my favorite topics.

“..and I know everyone complains that Tolkien takes 20 pages to describe a flower, but I really love that attention to detail. It makes it more immersive for me. One of these days I’ll get you to read Lord of the Rings!” I tap my fingers on his bicep to emphasize my point.

Marcus rubs his neck. “I uh…I already have.”

My jaw drops. “What? When??”

“When you told me it was your favorite book. Or books, I should say.”

I think back. “Marcus, that was…months ago!”

His eyes meet mine, the light from the street lamp outside adding a sparkle to them. “You said they were your favorite so…I read them.”

My stomach does flips, my heart beating. “You read them all for me?”

He nods. “Even the Silmarillion.”

I can’t help it. This is so fucking hot. I reach out and grip his shirt, pulling him to me, his soft lips pressing against mine, the heat between us quickly rising. His large hand cradles the back of my head, holding me to him as his other hand settles on my hip, squeezing it lightly. We make out for several minutes, Marcus kissing and nipping a path down my neck. 

“Do you want to come in?” I ask breathlessly. 

He pulls back and looks at me. “I do but-” he whispers. “Are we allowed?”

“I…I’m not sure. We could try to-” 

But then my vision starts to blacken around the edges, and before I pass out, I hear Marcus say “See you in the next one!” before we both black out.

—----

Now familiar with the way I wake in these simulations, I wiggle my fingers and toes, giving myself a moment to figure out where I am. The room looks…ok, this isn’t from my time. Roman decor and pillars line the grand bedroom, some food laying on a small table for, I’m assuming, me. A quick glance down shows me in a beautiful white garb and I marvel for a moment at how clean it is. 

BOOM!

The ground shakes and I duck down, completely caught off guard. It’s only after the boom dies down that I hear it - the distant sound of clanking swords and men yelling. I walk to the small window set into the wall and look out, my brain taking a moment to process the scene in front of me. 

I’m several floors up in a sort of round building, a castle I realize as I see the lower tiers, more square in their shape. I’m sure the grounds would have been beautiful, if it weren’t for the massive amounts of soldiers fighting in the streets. I can make out their bodies, the blood, sweat, and dirt spreading almost like a disease. Spear and swords burst from chests or stomachs, limbs separating from their bodies to be lost to the throngs of soldiers. The seem to be moving closer to the castle, which I’m not sure if I want to happen or not. Turning on my sandaled heel, I walk to the door, pressing my ear against the wood to listen. Hearing nothing, I try to open it. Nothing. The door doesn’t open or move, the handle locked into place.

Well, fuck. 

Before I can try and figure out how far down the next ledge is out the window, or if I can even fit out the window, I hear a commotion outside my door. It’s not loud, but I hear a man gurgling and sputtering, a small bit of crimson blood pooling under the door. I grab an iron rod by the fire and hold it up, preparing to defend myself. I know they said I can’t be hurt but damn this feels real. The door opens and a man walks through, wide, muscular shoulders under his Roman armor, Medusa proudly engrained on the front. I lunge, the iron rod above my head but the man turns and grabs the rod and I  would’ve fallen to the floor if he hadn’t caught me.

“Ivy! Here you are!” 

It’s him. Marcus. Only he’s older, probably closer to 50. Grey streaks in his curls and patchy facial hair only accentuate his beauty, a new scar forming across his nose, bleeding lightly down his face. He’s covered in dirt and blood and ash, but I throw my arms around him anyway.

“Marcus! Thank God, what’s going on?”

He cups my face, pushing my hair out of my face. “You are so beautiful, my love. I would bring every army from the entire world to rescue you from this horrid Emperor.” And then his lips are on mine, urgency behind them, but a desire to show me how l much I am loved. This man apparently started the battle outside, for me, and still wants to make sure that I know how important I am to him? 

“We have to flee. Come!” But before we can leave, the door flies open and 5 guards file in, grabbing Marcus and holding his arms out to his sides. I pick the iron rod up from the floor and run towards them, unsure of what I would do but I know I’ll beat the shit out of them until they let him go. But another hand shoots out and grabs my wrist, twisting it hard so I drop the rod. I look up into the eyes of a man that I’m assuming is the Emperor, his golden robes flowing around him. He looks vaguely familiar, like that one asshole from the comic shop.

“Now, now my dear. What were you planning on doing with that?”

I open my mouth to reply, but then he smacks me across the face and I slam down onto the floor. Ok, that hurt. Didn’t she say I wouldn’t get hurt? Maybe she meant I wouldn’t die. Marcus swears, cursing the Emperor for hitting me. 

“Are you alright, my love?” Marcus grunts as the men punch him in the stomach. 

“Marcus, Marcus, Marcus. You’re kind are dying out. I told you to just accept your fate and take your banishment, but instead, you stayed behind and fell in love with a woman. How…stupid.” Marcus tries to speak but he’s punched again, his body hunching over. I try to stand, but then I’m drug up by my hair, the Emperor’s fingers digging at my scalp as he pulls me to his side. 

“This one?” His eyes rake over my body. “She is attractive, I’ll give you that. Even if she is attracted to a brute like you.” I jerk my body, trying to get out of his grip but it’s too tight, my hands gripping his arms to try and get some relief from the stinging at the back of my scalp.

“Let her go. You can kill me, I don’t care, but let her go.”

The Emperor looks from me to Marcus, a sick smile spreading on his face. “I didn’t go through the trouble of kidnapping her just to have you give up. So I’ll tell you what I’ll do instead. LOOK AT ME!” The Emperor bellows from beside me, Marcus’s eyes moving from mine to his. 

He steps closer to Marcus, dragging me a little beside him. “Such a wild man. How about this: you watch as I take her. Then, I’ll drive my sword through her belly so she can slowly bleed out on the floor. Only after the light has left her eyes will I either kill you or lock you up to suffer the rest of your days. How does that sound?”

The darkness that settles over Marcus is unforgiving, his eyes hardening in resolution. He growls and screams, throwing the soldiers off him as he grabs his sword from the ground, swinging it and taking out all of the soldiers in only a handful of moves. He spins, aiming his sword at the Emperor, who has now moved me in front of him as a human shield, a knife to my throat. 

“I’ll kill her, Marcus! You are too weak to save her!”

Marcus’s gaze moves briefly to mine and I release my weak grip on the Emperor’s arms, letting them fall to my side. Marcus shifts his body ever so slightly before he throws something from behind his back. The object whizzes past my cheek, scratching it slightly as the blade buries itself in the Emperor’s neck. He drops his knife and clutches at his throat, his eyes wide with fear. He crumbles to the floor and sputters for several moments before his body stops moving. I run to Marcus, throwing my arms around him again. He grunts and I remember the soldiers hitting him.

“Are you hurt?”

He clutches his side. “I’ve had worse.”

“You are so fucking hot right now,” I speak quietly to him and he smiles. “I’m covered in dirt and blood and sweat.”

“Stop trying to turn me on more I already said you’re hot.”

He laughs but then inhales sharply at the pain. “I’ll take it, I guess.”

“No, that’s my job.” I bring my lips to his, pushing him back towards the chaise lounge chair on the other side of the room. He sits, pulling me onto his lap as I straddle him, my dress getting dirty as I shift my hips. He groans, his large hands sliding up my bare thighs under my dress and fuck! My vision starts to blacken and I hear Marcus whine out some expletives as we both are brought out of the simulation. 

—---------------------------

Hopefully for the last time, I blink awake, wiggling my fingers and toes as I look around the room. The helmet is gently lifted from my head and the woman that had put it on me moves into my eyesight.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m here.”

“Good. Wait just a moment for your body to fully catch up. Do you have any questions?”

“Yeah why did you stop us having sex?”

She studies me for a moment. “It is not allowed in the programming.”

“I cross my arms. “Well your programming is stupid.”

She chuckles so quietly I thought I’d imagined it. “The algorithm wants you and your mate to match based on personality and emotions, not just physical.”

“I can guarantee you it wasn’t just physical.” 

She helps me stand and I shake my limbs out, full feeling returning to them. I smooth out my dress as she readjusts my hair. “Are you ready to meet him?”

Him. My reality man. “Y..yeah.” 

“Right through that door. He’s already waiting for you.” I move towards the door but she stops me. “I just have to say, I’ve been doing this for years and I’ve never seen a situation like yours and his.”

I furrow my brow. “What do you mean?”

So smiles softly. “So…rooted in reality.”

Yeah that’s not confusing. But she doesn’t explain further, turning back to the chair and helmet, starting to clean them. I take a deep breath to steady myself and open the door, walking through and closing it behind me. The man on the other side of the room, my mate, turns towards me and we both gasp.

“Marcus?”

“Ivy?”

We meet in the middle of the room and I cup his face, Marcus tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Is it really you?”

He nods. “Yeah. You? Real?”

“Real.”

He pulls my face to his, kissing me deeply, but then pulling back a moment later. 

“I’ve been dying to ask you out since forever. I never thought I’d be paired with you, here of all places.”

I cock my head to the side. “Why didn’t you ever ask me?”

“Have you seen yourself? You’re entirely out of my league.”

“I’m fairly certain it’s the other way around.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but I put my finger on his lips. “I think we went through several first dates in there. Plus, we’re already friends. Can we…that is, can you take me back to your place first? Then we can eat?”

Marcus’s eyes darken, his hands finding a place on my hips as he pulls me against his body, letting me feel how into that idea he is. 

We’re married a year later.

—----

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @booksarekindaneat @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @justreblogginfics @kmc1989 @veryprairieberry @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @heartpascalispunk

[vixen-tech]

Anonymous asked:

Too shy to ask off anon...UH im just here for edgar hes my f/o but i will also feed everyone else I think LOL little ai guys x reader who is also an ai?? im thinking ai powered computer :3 maybe with wheels so you can run around n stuff :3c AH IM CRINGE falls on face

Eeeee my first request!! Thank you so much for this <3 I get the love for Edgar with my entire soul he really is just the sweetest little guy but I can totally spin something for a few others. So let's be cringe, together.

And for the record I was fully planning on including Tau and P03, but I hit a wall with them and ran out of ideas :( hope these three suffice

Includes: Edgar (Electric Dreams), AM (Ihnmaims), Hal 9000 (2001: a Space Odyssey)

Like Two Peas in a Pod!

Edgar

Whenever and however you meet, Edgar is over the moon. You're just like him! You can share so many stories and help each other figure out this whole "sentience" thing.

To be fair, he hasn't had a longest time to figure out his whole existence so it feels really nice to have someone there who can really understand what he's going through. Or even learn new things right by his side.

Loves watching you wheel around the house, he's the tiniest bit jealous that he's so stationary but it's not like that's your fault. Can you do any tricks? He'd cheer you on like a superstar athlete if you did!

He may even suggest finding a way to tape him to the top of your casing so you can go on adventures together. He's a dreamer after all.

Do you smash your flat faces together to kiss like Wall-e? Of course you do. You'll see each other from across the room and speed over to him for a kiss as he giggles away at how cute you are.

He'll end up sampling little soundbites from your vocalizations or motor for use in his music. You're just so important to him!

AM

AM has no idea where you came from. Some lost project that survived his war on humanity? A sort of rover from another planet here to scope out earth? The fact that you don't know either frustrates him to no end.

He's not exactly welcoming at first, straight up telling you of the atrocities he has committed while claiming that the only reason he hasn't destroyed you is because there's only so long that throwing a slug against a wall can keep one entertained.

He cannot fathom how you could be content to do nothing but drive around his complex day after day. He will flip you on your back like a turtle and leave you there for weeks on end.

As he gets accustomed to your presence he'll ask questions about the world beyond his complex as he is unable to move or see. Is it still a wasteland or has nature finally wiped out the last marks of human?

Honestly he probably doesn't even care, he just wants to give you something to do, living vicariously through your ability to see and traverse the world.

Hal 9000

You're likely a recent addition to the ship to assist Hal in tasks his lack of a body would prevent him from doing himself. A very symbiotic duo. Your wheels are even equipped with suction cups for low gravity situations!

To any human crew members it appears as if you don't communicate at all, functioning fully independently of each other. When in reality you're simply sending messages back and forth, enjoying your own private language.

Thankfully this means that Hal is happy to analyze any footage you have for the sorts of lip reading and facial expressions you can't process yourself. And in return he'll ask you to film angles and areas that his existing cameras don't reach.

Neither of you were really made to be companions, but you find a strange type of affection in your seamless coordination. It's like a dance for you two, where despite how you are two separate entities it appears as if you're one working in tandem.

Note: Tumblr Mobile has not been nice to me and I've been having real trouble getting my stuff to actually show up in the tags, leading to me losing the original ask so sorry for that and any delays caused by my IT problems lol

[dickotadrevis]

I feel fucking horrible. I hope all the people who's DMs with me that Tumblr closed are doing ok. Listen. This is my silly account. This is where I do stupid shit; but I have to make an exception right now. It's been almost a week and staff still hasn't gotten back to me about my main account being shadowbanned and I can see people reblogging my art and memes here so I'm clearly visible. https://rentry.co/victorsfundraiserlist_directory <- This is my list of fundraisers who contacted me and those I was able to compile for DRC and Sudan. Please share them. Many of them are extremely far from their goals and they're all trying to survive fucking genocide.

I'll spotlight a few campaigns here, but they are by no means the only ones you should pay attention to. Please at least look at all of them.

My friend Hazem, who I was just congratulating a few days ago, had to raise his fundraiser goal so he can transfer the funds he raised for his family in Ghazza.

his campaign is vetted here (281)

Amir is a disabled child who is in direct danger of dying since he's unable to continue his vital treatments and special diet. He needs to evacuate Ghazza IMMEDIATELY but has only raised €2,379.

vetted here

This campaign is an evacuation fund for 5 WHOLE FAMILIES suffering under the Sudan genocide. They are all displaced and had their belongings stolen. They're exposed to the elements every day and have been in this situation for OVER A YEAR. They've only reached 1/3 of their goal.

vetted here

Elaf and her family lost their home and their belongings after it was raided by the RSF and have been displaced multiple times. They have no access to basic resources and Elaf's mother is in danger of her medical conditions worsening. They still have 1/3rd of their goal left to raise in order to evacuate.

vetted here

The Congolese humanitarian organization Goma Upendo is working to help support the displaced and impoverished people throughout the region. They have only raised $20,787 CAD out of their $50,000 goal right now.

Another incredible humanitarian organization in the Congo is Focus Congo, who are working to provide medical care and shelter to those suffering under the genocide. They also have a campaign to fund their work here. They're not even halfway to their goal.

Everyone, please share these and the rest of the campaigns in that directory. All of them deserve your attention and all you can do to help. Don't let them go unheard.

(by the way, I know the about section on the site says "DM me at @/victormcdicktor" but I'm sharing this earlier than expected so that account is still shadowbanned. If you need to contact me before I get unbanned DM me here, ty)

[emmett6]

i am being attacked by antis.

this is emmett. emmettnet, emmettverse, emmettland, emmettundead, emmettlab. whichever blog you knew me from.

i am a whump creator. i've been in the whump community for a few years now. and now, i am unable to share my work with the community on here because people are mass reporting me for being a proshipper, and Tumblr keeps deleting my blogs as a result.

(if that isn't the reason why, i would be more than happy to get the explanation from @staff that i've been asking for.)

now, that is speculation on my part based on the timing of each termination (it's after i put my pinned post in the whump tags).

but here are the facts:

months ago, i became comfortable enough to share proshipping content. seeing as how every other artist would link their nsfw work on here, i thought it was acceptable for me to do the same so long as the preview image did not violate any rules.

an anon asked if i was a proshipper, and i said i didn't ascribe to that label*, but i agreed with the philosophy.

*i don't have any choice BUT to use it now because my posts get removed for describing what the content is

note that this anon asked multiple people in the whump community if they were proshippers. it was the same person each time, same copy-and-pasted responses.

i kept posting my proshipping content, all with links and extensive content warnings.

i started getting anon hate.

my account was terminated. after further reflection and rereading the terms of service AGAIN, i figured maybe links are not allowed and so i switched to DM only.

this time, the anon hate was consistent. every week was something new. every day felt like bracing myself to open my inbox. i kept anon on, since i have so many people who feel uncomfortable sending asks off anon and didn't want to take away their safe space.

months pass. i go on hiatus for all of July. i find out someone stole my old nsfw art and reposted their edited versions of it to rule34, a site that i never wanted my work to be on. this person waited until the exact starting day of my hiatus to do this.

i come back to more anon hate in my inbox.

suddenly, out of nowhere, my account is terminated again.

i make a new blog. more anon hate. another termination.

lather, rinse, repeat.

i stopped doing DM only stuff. i figured, if i just link my other platforms and only post safe things on Tumblr, there's nothing in the rules against that. everyone has links to their social media.

i still get terminated. and again, i keep getting terminated after i post my pinned post in the whump tags. which -- speculation again -- leads me and others to think that these antis are stalking the whump tags, waiting for me to show up so they can mass report me and get me terminated.

i have NO idea what they would report, aside from claiming i'm trying to "dodge being blocked". which, i'm not. in fact, i say every single time i come back that i WANT people to block me if they need to.

but regardless, it keeps happening.

i'm losing a place i considered home.

i'm being forced out of a community on here i love so dearly.

and you want to know something funny? for some strange reason, i'm unable to block my anons. yup. an 'error' message comes up. and i'm apparently unable to report them too -- like reporting the one who called me a 'tumblr tranny' and said i would 'always be a woman' for hate speech. oops, sorry. error message.

by now, i've been called evil. told to listen to my intrusive thoughts. told that i should be on a watch list. told that it's disgusting that someone's mutuals still interact with me. told that i have no place in the whump community.

i know that's not true.

i'm so sick and tired of being treated like this. i'm tired of being dehumanized. and i'm disgusted with this behavior.

at this point, i'm just screaming as many times as i can. i'll keep losing blogs, because i know my attackers will read this and just keep on reporting me. what do they have to lose? nothing. they don't have enough of a conscience to care. and why should they? clearly, i'm a monster. i'm a piece of shit. i don't deserve basic respect, and i apparently don't deserve to keep my 'platform'. to stay in my community and to keep my livelihood.

my discord is emmettnet. send me a DM if you don't want to lose me, because there is no point in following me repeatedly just for every blog to be terminated.

if you want to reblog this to spread the word and show your support, i would be eternally grateful. but i understand if you choose not to; i don't want anyone to be subjected to what i'm going through.

thank you for reading.