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silentfcknhill · 4 years

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FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions:

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer and anyone else who wants to!

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ilikelookingatthings · 4 years

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so...I got some feelings about Emel....

so I was REALLY pissed a this character Emel from this webcomic where he was the bodyguard of a girl. We fiured out that Emel had fallen for his charge and his charge liked him back. but when he realized his feelings he decided to take over his family’s house and leave her. not even giving her a real explanation even though she confessed her feelings. I was angry because it felt like he was making excuses and hurting her unnecessarily. I was with the main character feeling like it was excuses and him being dumb and angry he wasn’t telling her things properly. after all he could have been with her even if he didn’t take over his house and if she was hurt...him trying to stand on the same level as her felt like it was for his own self satisfaction.....

.......but then HE pointed out that he met her when she was a child, just coming out of a abusive household. He’s been by her side for years as her kind bodyguard. HE only develped feelings for her recently and once he did he found a way to leave so its not quite grooming. but I LIKE that HE isn’t comfortable with it. she might be of age now but he still helped raise her from a young kid. and he brought up a good point that considering she doesn’t go out to see alot of boys her age and has a smaller social circle and with how dependable and always there Emel has been.....it makes sense she would fall for him.

It wasn’t grooming with intentions...but I like him being bothered by it while others would give him a pass because it wasn’t his intention and SHE DOES like him.

but as annoying at it is....he has a point. He’s only ever been kind Emel around her...the hints that he isn’t that kind definitely are there but HE gets scared by her reaction at times. like her face when she saw how aggressive he was during training. and she worries about HIM hating HER....not the other way around.

if he got together with her immediately at her confession. stayed. maybe he even her about these thoughts and feelings and worked through it together...it could work......but it does leave the idea that HE’LL feel uncomfortable because he’ll still be haunted by the little girl she was and wondering if he is some type of pedo AND wondering if she truly understands his dark sides. if she is choosing him because he is the best option in her line of sight and that her kind saint emel image might blind her t other options.

We also know that she even doubted HIS loyalty and if his care for her was genuinely for her.... or because he was in service to her father and that it was his job when she was younger. HER thought had been “what if kind emel is a lie and that means he hates me”...while his thoughts are...”she interpreted the fact there are other aspects to my personality that the kind parts were a lie and se might hate the other real parts of me compared to the mind side I actively show her”.

And if Emel had just explained she might have excused him and waited thinking she was just getting kind Emel eventually or try to convince him its not nessacary for him to leave.

but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. its not perfect...he could have just told her about these other aspects of his personality properly. show her little by little like most people who date and she is right that he could have just talked to her....

.....by leaving in the way he did would make her feel hurt enough to try to think of others and is the first test if she’ll give up loving him. People you love aer going to hurt you and he knows this aspect is part of him. If it can break so easily then he was right to leave and give her a chance to find a new love without him breathing down her neck. It would give her time and anger a him to try to build herself in a ay that doesn’t involve him. and the longer they are separated it means if they DO try to developed something between them in the future. it will be as equals....not just based on the relationship that had him by her side helping protect and raise her as a kid. not just a bodyguard and lady. they will both have high standings. they could both argue and disagree without the bodyguard thing getting in the way. and it puts less pressure on him to act nice.

It also means if they do end up in a relationship it will be as two thinking adults that won’t have a bias influencing them. She’ll have had time to grow without him and see there are other options. He’ll have time to figure out who he is by himself without her influencing him to be better directly. No one could say he groomed her which would put HER feeling at risk of being invalidated or looked down on as either being tricked into liking him or a naive first love. and it means he’ll have less complicated feeling to distance himself from feeling like a pedo.

Its not exactly fair but it IS true that she doesn’t know alot about him. true he doesn’t talk alot about himself...but she also didn’t ask or push for more details.

and the fact that she could doubt that he is on her side so easily really goes to show she doesn’t have that much faith in him yet either. I get why she felt betrayed and hurt and rejected....but she has known that guy for years and it doesn’t occur to her that he might have a good reason for what he’s doing? or that just because he is doing this doesn’t mean he stopped caring about her and wants whats best for her? it hadn’t even occurred to her that he might have alot of conflicted feelings about having helped raise her and suddenly being attracted to her? she knows how hard he took it when he felt he failed to protect her. and she trusted him with knowing negative stuff in her life. Yet he retires/quits and it took til he appeared again for her to find out that he left to be the ruler of his house due to the death of his brother and dad?

She definitely has the right to be angry....but I weirdly respect him more once he pointed out she barely knows anything about him...and even if they talked...as a bodyguard..her really understanding him wasn’t going to work.. her bias would have soothed any rough edges he could show her.

not to mention......has no one realized that him clearly respecting her and her family and genuinely caring about them means that him taking over that other house means they have a allie?

that they won’t have to worry about being attack by his house ever again?

#I Am A Child Of This House #webcomic #emel #estelle

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fortunamuta · 4 years

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Pt.3 Devilman Crybaby Post (anime spoilers)

Alright so this is the last post and honestly i forgot to talk about the last episodes 7-10. Can u feel my depression while writing this, bro the sadness is never ending. I have become one with the mf void, and within it there is no self, no thoughts, no emotions just darkness.

Also TW alot of this stuff is extremely gory and dark (lots of horrible deaths that I may talk about, so tread lightly)

Lets just say things took a turn for the......first of all WTAF Homeskillet NOOOOOOOOOOO (if u haven’t read part 1 of this post homeskillet is Taro Makimura) HE ATE HIS FREAKING MOM, AND WHEN I TELL U I GAGGED AND FELT MY EYES TEARING UP. THAT WAS THE MOST TWISTED THING I EVER SAW AND THE DAD FOUND THEM. Basically the mom had taken Taro away from the family when she learned that he was a demon, also i thought he was a devilman but he didn’t win against the demon so he was taken over. But in the scene when he’s slowly eating his mother, and his dad is screaming why pointing a gun at his son, who he now realizes is his son. Taro’s demon begins to tear up making me believe that Taro was conscious but not in control of his actions. And thats when the tears begin to fall, and the dad was screaming and crying at how unfair the world was and how disgusting the sight in front of him was he couldn’t bring himself to shoot. So then the army guys who kill demons came and the dad begged them not to kill his son, but without hesitation they fired on dad and Taro, subsequently killing both. Akira tried to save them but was ultimately too late and ended up atleast grabbing the bodies and burying them.

The next scene in the episode shows Akira crying while on his knees infront of three graves (with crosses) on what looks like a hill. And I wondered if this was alluding to the three crosses who stood on Golgatha’s hill. This definetly marked a turning point for Akira and how he felt about Ryo. Anyway demons from everywhere popped up and tried to kill Akira at the instructions of Psycho Jenny, but then Miko saves him.

OH SCHNAPP I FORGOT TO TELL YALL Miko is a devilman and sis ate MY KING OF SPOKEN WORD and I think she ate her grandmother too. Anyway she really uses her new abilities to her advantage and wants to be better than Miki M. She later confesses that her jealousy and hate was just her inability to come to terms that she loved Miki and looked up to her, she didn’t like being outdone when she was used to being the best. Anyway she saves Akira from the demons trying to kill him. At this same moment Ryo is having a come to jesus moment (more like come to satan moment) he realizes that he is SATAN. I FUCKING KNEW IT. Anyway he goes on air, and stirs chaos by OUTING AKIRA. If i could throw hands and get my grandma to pray the mess outta that fool I would, damn he really didn’t have to do him like that so the whole worlds now knows that humans can become demons, so people begin to openly attack everybody. Anyway that public call out puts a target on Akira.

Akira and Miki have a moment where shes like even as a devilman he’s still the crybaby she’s always known and love. oh btw Miki now knows her parents are dead and so is her little brother. Let me tell u her screams of anguish THAT SHIT HURTED. Anyway The Spoken Word Squad is now friends with Miki because the main dude gotta crush on her, and THEY ARE SO MF LOYAL THE REAL MVP’S of THE SHOW. (except shorty he really played us) Anyway Akira goes to get answers and confront Ryo and u can see the betrayal on his face he truly still believed Ryo was trying to make the world a better place. Anyway a mob descends on the Makimura household and the Spoken Word Squad says to leave it to them. At this point I am bawling my eyes out, and i’m slowly being pulled apart by the void. Miko takes Miki on her back to try and escape from the mob but those hoes mad angry and for what reason, anyway before this Miki made a twitter post talking about how much she loved Akira i think in the familial since tho, and how even though he is a devilman he is still who he used to be and that the humans are capable of loving them even though they are different. He’s not the enemy they should be focusing on.

So as u may have guesses SPOKEN WORD SQUAD DIED, eversingle one of them, but not without being the baddest bitches every before going out. Seriously Homeslice with the dread had that crowbar and my boi was swinging and taking hoes out, but homie ended up getting over powered and visciously stabbed to death. The same happen to the dude who was crushing on Miki M basically there were just too many people(those people were the real monsters, giving into raw fear to tear into children like that)

Anyway Miko and Miki are making there escape and they end up on their old running path, and its really sad. A jeep comes out of nowhere and everybody a motherfucking automated weapons. And they continue shooting at Miko and Miki until they bring them down, Miko urges Miki to run and continue running until she’s safe and to leave her behind. Miki runs and then the show the screen with them as kids running and passing the baton. Miko passes Miki the baton signaling her death, then Miki continues to run with the baton she’s trying to catch up to Akira who in front of her but she can’t seem to and then someone in real life shoots her in the legs, but she keeps moving and finally she’s able to pass the baton to Akira. At this moment (not me tearing up as I write this) she is tackled by some guy who stabs her and she screams out, calling out for Akira. But he never makes it.

Akira goes to this place where humans have crucified other humans and there are throwing stuff at them. Akira comes and shields them, and cries out that if they should kill someone kill him. In the midst of his crying, a voice over of miki’s letter is played. And like in the bible a little child shall lead them, which a little boy goes up to Akira to hug his leg and other kids follow the mob stops throwing stuff and now some adults are coming up to Akira to apologize hugging him and crying and they help the people they had crucified. In the midst of this the demons convince Track Homie to betray Akira even though Akira was helping him. So he impales Akira with his horn thing, in the process trampling many of the humans who had been standing near, causing a panic. Demons come out of nowhere and Akira gets away.

Now Akira has made it back to Miki’s house after a big fight with Ryo promising to defeat the other. He gets there to find the house up in flames and a mob surrounding it all whooping and cheering. He focuses on the mob and almost throws up finding that Miki, Miko and the Spoken Word Squad had all been decapitated and amputated and their limbs where pushed down on spikes which were being lifted and waved around for all to see by the mob. In a fit of rage and sadness at the fact that humans had done this he releases a fiery blaze crisping the humans in the mob. He swiftly leaves and the final strand attaching him to Ryo breaks. In Ryo’s tranformation to satan they now are naked, full breast and genetalia on display with big white wings. Ryo tells Akira that he doesn’t want to fight him, he did all of this so they could be together. But Akira said he has enough spite and anger for both of then and charges, they have a midair battle and the demons back up Ryo, in the end other Devilman come to help Akira lending him limbs so that he may continue fighting sacrificing themselves.

The fight is long and sad, you can tell immediately that Akira is no match for Ryo. The scene changes to when they were younger as children, playing in the snow and going to hotsprings, exploring and just enjoying each others company. It shows just how pure and adorable Akira was and how Ryo always showed sign of not having any regards for life and believing that the weak deserved to die. Then it changes scenes to the baton passing scene showing the baton being passed from miko to miki then to akira and finally akira trying to pass the baton to Ryo but the baton keeps dropping between then, it happens several time until it drops one last time and the new scene is of the sky. Ryo’s voice is speaking to Akira as he stares at the sky, we see the side profile of Akira and his eyes are open but he’s not responding.

Ryo continues to speak about them as children, then the screen pans to the sky showing broken planets and the earth around them is destroyed all that remains are broken pieces and the heel they are on. No other signs of life. Ryo asks Akira a question, and believes him to just still be mad at him but then he touches his face and says he’s been so quiet. Finally he cries and he exclaims how he doesn’t understand these feeling and asks Akira what these feelings are.

Akira finally hands Ryo the baton.

The scene pans to show us Akira missing half of his body and dead. Ryo cries out to Akira pleading with him to say something, then he pleads that Akira not leave him alone. He continues to sob into Akira and plead to not be left alone as the screen moves further away from them, showing the actual destruction caused by their fight which basically destroyed the solar system.

So yeah, i am one with the void, devoid of emotions, thoughts, and feelings. I belong to the darkness, how tf am i supposed to feel after that. I-i just wanted Akira to be happy, but apparently that was too much to ask. Goddamn THE WHOLE MF SOLAR SYSTEM. I cried so hard my brother was actually worried about me, I had puffy red eyes and couldn’t stop my mf hiccups. and warning i do no cute cry, that shit was really ugly.

So yeah, I thought it was really good, definitely not for everybody though. Imma need to watch some Ouran Highschool Host Club. Also prayed with my grandma the other day for extra protection. But umm somebody please tell me what the relationship between Akira and Ryo because the end scene got me confused. I think it Ryo realizing his feeling for Akira because he didn’t want him to die and realized Akira had always been there for him. So this was def a wild ride, Miki was honeslty a pretty solid person except when she was modeling for that creepy dude. And then sis went to his house and asked for a shower, I was like sis are u DumbDDumbDDDDumb, luckily Akira was there because Ryo out here killing grandmas and was ready to kill Miki back then too.

Also FLY HIGH SPOKEN WORD SQUAD and MY KING OF SPOKEN WORD.

and Taro really was bestboi led astray.

My pain level is astronomical might as well be numb. 10/10 probably won’t watch again unless I need a good cry and psychological trauma. But it was really good all in all.

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 4 years

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Riverdale 5x05 Review

Well I’m still reeling this is the third episode in row of Riverdale that I’ve enjoyed it seems to me like its got some of the its magic from season 1 back. I’m really enjoying seeing them as adults so far and most of the storylines are interesting to me. So lots to talk about, as always these are my own opinions and there are spoilers obviously.

Jughead

Ok so first lets talk about Jughead and what he is up to this episode. The first scene we really get with him is when he is talking to Betty. We learn that part of the reason Betty never got in touch with Jughead was because on the night of his book launch Jughead left Betty a voicemail that made her think that he wouldn’t want to hear from her again. I am really curious to know what was said on that voicemail. Jughead does apologise for making it sound that way and that it wasn’t his intention which only makes me all the more curious. If he didn’t mean it the way Betty interpreted then what did he mean? I feel like it was probably a case of Jughead drunk dialling his ex and maybe be more honest than he normally would have been. I mean we know he wrote about thier relationship in his book so on the night of the launch his mind was likely on their relationship and how it ended and the betrayal he felt which then likely led to him calling Betty and leaving the voicemail. We’ll most likely learn more about the voicemail in a flashback but until then we can only speculate what it was about.

So this may be an unpopular opinion but I’m actually happy that Toni, Sweetpea and Fangs called Jughead out on using them in his novel without asking them first. I said way back in my review for episode 19 that Jughead has this habit of using his friends stories and trauma’s to write his stories but he doesn’t ever seem to ask their permission or check if they would be ok with it. We see him do it when he writes about Jason and then when he writes about Betty’s dad and then again when he writes about Reggie’s abuse in episode 19. I think its about time somebody called him out on it and I hope that he learns from this. I think is starting to understand that its not ok because whilst he sent the chapters about Pop to the publishers he was clearly reluctant to actually write a novel about him, we can also see him look over to Tabitha at that moment which makes me think he knows she’ll be upset if he uses Pop Tate for the basis of his next novel.

There are two things that Jughead is struggling with in this episode one is that he still has writers block and the second is that he still has a huge amount of debt and collectors looking for him. He is staying in the bunker which I think is really sad because it was obvious that he felt embarrassed to tell his friends that he is in trouble and struggling, Archie thinks he’s staying at the Five Seasons. He’s come back to town and all his friends believe he’s this successful world famous writer as Archie puts it and so Jughead is probably feeling really insecure about telling them that he actually has writers block and debts. Then Archie asks him if he will write a speech for Pop Tate’s retirement. Can I just say how much I love Pop Tate. That scene where Jughead hides from the debt collectors and Pop instead of judging him actually asks how much it is he owes because he wants to help. Like the guy was literally prepared to give up his retirement pay to help Jughead out the man is a pure angel. I am also really glad that Jughead said no and pointed out that he wasn’t low enough to take Pop’s retirement pay. I do think this is what changes Tabitha’s mind about hiring Jughead as she seemed cold towards him to start with. I will say I am really liking what we’ve seen of Tabitha so far she seems like the kind of woman who won’t take crap from no one and can stand up fro herself but I feel like underneath that she’s got a good heart too. I think two of the lines that really sold me on her character were when she was talking to the debt collectors and she says she’d ‘remember a weird ass name like that’ in regards to Jughead but even better than that when the guy called her sweetie and she called him pumpkin in reply. Judging by next weeks promo and the fact that Jughead is now going to be working at Pop’s it does look like Jughead and Tabitha are going to be getting alot of scenes together and so far I’m liking their dynamic so I’m looking forward to seeing more of them together.

One of my favourite moments in this episode was Jughead’s speech at Pop’s retirement party. I will confess to tearing up and I loved that analogy of Pop’s being like a lighthouse in the dark for them. The idea that whenever things got really dark in Riverdale they always had a safe place to go. I also loved when Jughead was clearly emotinal talkng about how Pop was about the only reason he made it through. I also love that it was Pop that broke through Jughead’s writers block and got him writing again. It’s like Archie says Jughead does his best writing in a booth at Pop’s. Hopefully his journey this season will be him rediscovering what made him a writer in the first place and him finding himself again because I really do think he’s very lost right now.

Veronica

Honestly I’m not really loving Veronica’s storyline so far. I said in my last review that I surprisingly didn’t hate Chad and that to me he just seemed like an overly concerned husband but that I suspected that they were going to make me hate him. Well I was right I am not a fan of Chad. I mean freezing their joint accounts and having her followed all because she’s in a different town from you is going way too far. Also I’m not sure exactly what Veronica’s plan was she sold some things to get cash and a gun and was planning to buy a car and go to LA for a job as a sports agent and to be honest I have so many questions. Firstly why on earth does Veronica suddenly want to become a sports agent? I mean last week she was talking about wanting to be the She Wolf of Wallstreet again, this week she wants to go to LA and become a sports agent. Also this happened before she found out that Chad had frozen the accounts and was having her followed so I’m just confused had she already decided that she wanted to leave him before he did those things? I mean she does lie to him and say she was online shopping as oppose to trying to buy a plane ticket to LA. Also right before that scene she was talking to Hiram about her and Chad buying a weekend home in Riverdale so was that just a cover for why she wanted back in on the family business?

Speaking of Hiram we learn that Veronica never told him that she was marrying Chad which Hiram is upset about but you know her last boyfriend he tried to murder on several occassions so its really not that surprising that Veronica didn’t tell him. Later Veronica does go back to him for help at Reggie’s advice hoping that he would, I don’t know, scare Chadwick into not being as obsessive. Look I get it Chad is a obsessive and controlling husband and Veronica is a strong independant woman who doesn’t want to be tied down. But to be honest I just don’t think Veronica is handling it the best way. Neither is Chad. You’ve got him having her followed and freezing the accounts but then you’ve got her trying to buy plane tickets behind his back and going to her daddy instead of talking to him herself. I just don’t think her storyline is being as well written as it should be. Also once again it revolves around the men in her life. I don’t know maybe its just me but so far I’ve found her storyline irritating at times and confusing at other times. Judging by her conversation with Archie I do feel like she feels trapped at the moment but instead of talking to her husband about it she’s trying to run away. Peronally I think if she’s not happy with Chad then she needs to divorce him. Or if she wants to make it work with him for whatever reason then she needs to start communicating with him and he needs to start listening to her. I just think overall I’m not really here for where it looks like this storyline is going. It reminds me way too much of Hermione and Hiram’s relationship which I am guessing is the point but that relationship I really hated so I was hoping not to have to watch Veronica go through the same thing.

To be perfectly honest if I could choose who Veronica would ultimately end up with it would’ve been Reggie. I thought those two worked really well together as a couple. He supported her in her career and deeply cared about her but the problem in that relationship is that I felt like it was too one sided and there were times when I felt like Veronica didn’t treat him well, I think she was still too hung up on Archie to really commit to Reggie. However as adults they might have stood a better chance. They do get a scene in this episode where she goes to him to buy a car and he asks if she is running away from her husband before telling her to ask her dad for help. It did seem like Reggie cares about Veronica. But then he is working for her father which I am really curious to know how he ended up in that situation. I do wonder if they’ll give him a redemption arc this season or whether they are going to make him full villian.

Ultimately I am glad that at the end of the episode Veronica did kind of lay down the law with Chad and call him out on his behaviour and let him know that she’s not going to put up with it. I do wonder where their marriage is going to go from here. We know he shows up in Riverdale next episode from the synopsis. To be honest the idea of both Chad and Hiram in the same town fills me with dread and I do feel like Hiram is going to manipulate Chad into going down an even darker path.

Barchie

Now onto my favourite part of the episode I loved all the scenes we got of Barchie. Obviously for a barchie shipper that shower scene was amzing and jaw dropping but on top of that there were so many other little moments and details that I just loved. I felt like they had alot of throwbacks to previous moments in their relationship. Like that scene when they are at the window spying on the ghoulies and Betty admits that her and kevin used to sneak peeks hoping Archie would be shirtless. It took me right back to that scene in the pilot episode. Also maybe it was jsut me but that scene seemed really flirty to me. But also you can see how well Betty knows Archie and how much she cares. She knows it must be hard for him seeing the home that he grew up and where all his memories of his father are being trashed by the ghoulies. I also love that she offered her help it really reminds us of how they will always have each others backs.

I think this continues with Archie showing concern over Betty’s situation with Polly. I think the thing I love most about those little scenes where they clearly care about each other problems is that its not about their romantic relationship in those moments its about that deep friendship they have with each other showing how strong their bond is. I think having that deep friendship as a foundation will make any romantic relationship they might choose to persue later even stronger. Another little scene that was really cute was when they were texting each other and again Archie was asking after Polly clearly showing that he cares about Betty’s problems. I also loved that she was the first to agree to his plan for them all to become teachers. Also that scene during the raid where they bump into each other and they both check the other is ok and Archie puts a hand on her back.

So lets talk about that shower scene. I know some people feel like it came out of nowhere and it was really random. I kind of get where they are coming from but to be honest me personally I didn’t think it cam eout of nowhere at all. Firstly there was four seasons of build up to this moment. Also there were moments throughout the episode that were ramantically and sexually charged they were just subtle. For example like I said above that scene where Betty is talking about wanting to see him shirtless it had a very flirty feel to it. Also after Archie tells Betty about seeing Polly with the Ghoulies and Betty says when do we kick their asses Archie was definitely turned on by her in that moment judging by the look that comes across his face. Then there is the scene right before. Their conversation starts out innocent enough they both need a shower but I think that then leads them to both imagining the other in the shower. The thing I loved was that you can see them both decide together that its what they want to do. The way they looked at each other right before really reminded me of the way they looked at each other right before their kiss during Hedwig. But the thing I loved the most was after the shower scene because THEY ACTUALLY TALKED!!! Like they had an open honest conversation about what had happened between them and about how they had wanted to do it since high school. When Betty said that I again flashed bakc to one of their previous scenes which is when they were in the bunker and Betty says its not like they could do more than this. I said in my review for that episode that the line was really significant becaus eit showed that Betty wanted to do more. This confirms that. I also feel like its confirmation that a large part of the reason why they didn’t take it further then wasn’t becaus ethey didn’t have feelings for each other but because they didn’t want to hurt Jughead and Veronica. After the shower scene not only do they talk about what had just happend but they also have a conversation about where they are going to go from there and they make a FWB agreement. I also think it is significant that Betty points out that Veronica is married and that her and Jughead have been over for a long time. I think Barchie have found themselves in a new situation for them where they’ve reunited after seven years to discover that those feelings they had before are still there but for the first time there is nothing standing in there way there’s no significant others to hurt for once they can give in to those feelings and boy do they.

Another thing that I think is significant in that talk was that Betty says they are both single adults. I made a post before the episode addressing how people were saying Betty was cheating on Glen and that I pointed out that we haven’t actually been told the nature of their relationship but that I got the sense that it was a casual thing maybe a FWB thing or even not that far maybe they had just been out on a couple of dates. To me her saying that she is single is confirming that her relationship with Glen isn’t something that is exclusive. Of course she could be lying to Archie but I doubt it. I do think Glen is going to be used as a plot device to drive Barchie together. I think he is going to show up in Riverdale at some point and that’s going to cause some jealousy for Archie which will lead to them having another conversation about what they are to each other. I mean at the moment it looks like they are going to be sneaking around and jumping each others bones every chance they get but we all know how the FWB thing usaully goes and I think as time goes on they will relaise that they do want something more with each other.

Archie and the ghoulies

So Archie’s main goal this episode was getting his home back. He says to betty that he’s going to win back the town building by building if he has too and he is starting with his house. But they can’t just go barging in there they need a plan first. Archie gets help from Tom Keller who we find out is now having to run the sheriff office by himself but that reggie is head of a private security force owned by Hiram. Tom tells Archie that if he tells Reggie anything then he’ll tip the Ghoulies off but Archie decides to use this to his advantage and lets reggie tip them off so that he can get a lay of the situation. One thing I did notice is that when Archie says its almost like they’ve been tipped off Reggie looked I’m not kind of sad or guilty. I mean I could be projecting but I feel like he’s not 100% ok with working with Hiram. Again I am really curious to know how that came about. But I thought those scenes were actually kind of sad because he and Archie were friends and so its not fun to see them on different sides. After getting an idea of what they are dealing with Archie, Betty, Kevin, Sweet Pea, Fangs and Tom all raid the house. I loved this scene it was so good very action movie feels to it and they are successful at getting Archie’s house back.

The other concern Archie has is keeping the school open so he comes up with the plan for them to all become teachers. To be honest when I first saw that spoiler way back when I was really worried about how they would write them all becoming teachers in a way that would make sense. But I actually think this works and I am surprisingly invested in the plotline of saving Riverdale. I think I just really want to see Hiram lose. Also as a sidenote poor Kevin having to teach like five classes.

Toni

I am loving all the scenes with Toni she really is an absolute queen. I think my favourite moment for her this episode was the speech she made at the meeting. I also loved when she was introducing the core four as the new teachers and shes telling them all their credentials and they each stand up in turn, it was very riverdale. Also the scene between her and cheryl was sad but kind of sweet too. I mean Cheryl always looks like shes on the verge of breaking down into tears she is very clearly really struggling right now. When Toni said if our love meant anything at all to you it really pulled at my heart strings especially as Cheryl does end up giving the money to help keep the school open as a private school. I also love that she seems to head most of the meetings they have and she seems to very much have stepped into a leadership type role. I also love that she doesn’t take any of Hiram’s BS and I loved her line that if he wanted to mess with the serpent queen he was going to get bit. I also liked how she using her serpents to get into Hiram’s office and find out about his plans to dissolve Riverdale. I enjoyed everryone of Toni’s scenes and I can’t wait to see even more of her.

Betty and Polly

Polly is back and so are the twins who we get a quick glimpse of. It seems like things have been strained between Polly and Betty this whole time and they have a conversation and try to clear the air a bit but Betty begins to get very suspicious of what going on with Polly which leads to even more tension. It seems like Polly may or may not be dealing and she almost certainly is working the night to put it politely. Both Polly and Alice point out to Betty that she can’t just come bakc after seven years away and start judging them for the things they are doing to survive. It does seem like everyone left in Riverdale is really struggling and having to do things that they don’t really want to but they have to to survive. I think Betty is slowly starting to understand that the Riverdale she came back to is not the same as the one she left behind. It isn’t looking good for Polly right now as the last we saw of her she was running away looking terrified from the same truck that squeaky got into last episode. I also think its going to take them a hot beat to realise that she is in trouble because of Alice’s statement about her going off the grid in the past before eventually showing up again.

Ok I am going to leave it there for now as I am really tired and need to get some sleep. Overall I really enjoyed this episode and once again I am looking forward to the next.

#riverdale #riverdale review

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howlsentiment · 4 years

Text

Chapter 1 - Another Day

*buzz buzz*

“Wake up buddy, it’s time for a new day” a dark sullen voice said.

*buzz buzz*

“We have business to take care of”

*buzz buzz click*

“I just need 15 more minutes, after fifteen more minutes exactly i’m sure I’ll wake up reinvigorated with the energy to start my day” the boy thought to himself. His world was now fading into a dark cloud as he started to doze off.

*buzz buzz*

“Breakfast is ready sweetie come and get some!” This time it was a much softer, kinder voice that greeted him. “If you don’t come down soon it’ll get cold!....or I’ll eat it all”

“Mmkaaay I’l be daown in won minet” the boy replied sleepily. He wasn’t going to be down in one minute. The boy wasn’t a spry one, but he wasn’t particularly lazy either. He just always had a hard time convincing himself that his bed isn’t where he should always be. He lay in his dark room which wasn’t of much note either. A computer and a few books is all that could really be seen around and a messy desk where rarely any time was spent because he much preferred the bed. He was a college loner, not because he was particularly awkward or because he was particularly ugly, but instead by choice. He was actually particularly liked by most people, especially it would seem so by the man sitting in his room with him.

“Get good sleep sleepyhead?” The boy nodded

“Alright good, you have another long hard day of work today, these spirits aren’t gonna pass on themselves”. This man was no man, he was death incarnate, some would say a grim reaper. It would seem this boy had a gift, ever since he was in middle school he started noticing that he could see the dead, and all at once he started noticing the strange man too. He didn’t know really what he could do with his power other than get picked on at school for being scared all the time. This made him become distant with his fellow classmates and thusly he started attending school alot less just to avoid interaction and found peace within himself...and this man

“You haven’t found me many ghosts recently i’ve noticed, have you been getting lazy ? If you get lazy you know I’d get angry, and you know what happens when I’m angry right”

The message was coming across loud and clear, his tight grip on the twined scythe and sunken eyes would strike fear to anybody in the world and fear that this day was his last, but to him, it was a wednesday.

After a good 5 or ten minutes he heard the voice come from downstairs again,

“I made chicken porridge!”

This time he did not hesitate. He hastily rolled out of bed, put on one of his 3 outfits that he cycles through and ran down the stairs. But as he approached the stairs he noticed he might’ve seemed too excited so as to not show how happy he was, he slowed down his speed as he descended the stairs.

“Good morning mom.”

“Good morning Sol, how come you couldn’t greet me with the same enthusiasm i heard when i told you i had chicken porridge for you?”

His mom was a kind soul, with nothing but love and warmth in her heart. Even though they wouldn’t always get along, she would always prioritized her son's happiness and safety in every situation. He’s always relied on her whenever he felt down, and even though there were times where he felt that he was taking advantage of her and maybe he hurt her feelings, she would never take it out on him, she would always just smile and tell him that everything was alright.

“Sorry” he smiled with the might of his 8am energy and repeated himself with a chuckle “Good morning mom, I hope you didn’t wake up too early to prepare this”

“Don’t worry about me sweetie, I never get sleep anyways” she smiled and snickered over the sink continuing to wash the dishes. “I’ve been noticing that you were feeling down so I wanted to surprise you with something nice this morning, you know, to kickstart your day a bit!””

He knew that was exactly what she was doing, and without a secondary motive to been seen from miles away. He knew by the way she prepared the meal. Rice slow cooked in the broth from the chicken in a boil with alot of nice chopped garlic with eggs salted perfectly finished with green onions. Everything he loved and nothing he didn’t. She didn’t even mention the lil sausages she prepared on the side to pair with the meal.

“You didn’t have to mom, I’m feeling alright. It’s just...you wouldn’t understand.”.....

….

Sol’s mom continued to stare at him as if she was waiting for something to emerge out of this awkward pause. Her kind eyes piercing through him as if they were daggers.

“...thank you mom”

“You’re welcome honey, and yes I wouldn’t understand what you’re going through, but I can still try to cheer you up” Her smile glowed even warmer as if otherworldly. “How’s school been for you hun?”

“Oh you know, math and books, and writing and pencils, oh and im drinking ALOT, like a WHOLE TON, and I’ve been partyiiiiing and oh yeah a whole bunch of drugs too”

“Ooooh no im sooooo scared, I would say that if I wasn’t happy that if this were true, you’d at least finally have friends to be doing the drinking and the drugging with”

“Well I have-”

“She doesn’t count” She said sternly, ending with a smile. Sol has had only one friend his entire life. Her name was Madison and they met at both of their lonely spots they would have throughout the school. At first they would just eat lunch silently distant from eachother, but one day when Sol noticed Madison didnt bring lunch, he offered part of his food because his mother would always overpack his lunches. And just like magic, a friendship was born.

“You have to get new friends, its not healthy to only have one friend, and you’re such a sweet person, I’m sure if you had the chance to talk to anyone they would become close to you immediately.”

“Oh sure here let me just get new friends, easy done, all I have to do is get over my crippling social anxiety and I’ll just BAM super popular kid COMING THROUGH” He said this a bit harsher than he intended mostly fueled by the anger he felt from feeling like such an inept person and as he looked over at his mom, he noticed her weakened disheveled look.

“I’m sorry mom, I promise I’ll try harder okay?”

“That’s my boy” She smiled and continued her work

Sol finished his and went over to put the food bowl away and help his mom.

“What are your plans today mom?”

“Oh the usual, clean, watch some TV, go on a walk, maybe spook a few neighbors along the way oooOOOoOOoooo”

Sol chuckled, “Don’t spook them too much, they’d want you to keep ‘haunting’ them instead of me” A big grin spread across his moms face and she just said

“You know I’d never leave you, you’re my precious child”

“I know mom, I know”

After they finished washing the dishes he went upstairs to pick up his backpack and the man was still there waiting patiently.

“Did you save me anything?”

“Fuck off”

“Woah woah woah language mister. I don’t know how you think you’ll help all these spirits pass peacefully with a mouth like that. Tut tut, did your mom teach you those words?” The man said.

“Yes actually she did” The boy continued the get together his things to get ready for school. “I don’t wanna hurt anyone.”

“Why do you insist on helping these people? They’ve never helped you”

“I’m not Helping anyone, it’s just easier not to deal with people’s sad emotions...and ghosts are annoying”

He finished packing up his bags and ran back downstairs.

“Goodbye mom ! Don’t spook the neighbors too much!” He said hurriedly running through the door.

“Sol you forgot this !” His mom runs out to the half indoor sol and hands him his lunch.

“Mom I’m an adult, you don’t have to pack me lunch all the time I can just buy it” He looked embarrassed at the school lunch with a big heart drawn on top of it.

“Once you have friends to get lunch with we can talk.” She said with another one of her smiles. She leaned over to give him a kiss on his forehead but as she went for the kiss,

She passed through him.

“Oh right, I forgot that I can’t do that anymore” She looked as if all her strength was sapped out of her, and joy leaked out of every crevasse in her body leaving just an empty husk.

“Yeah, if you keep doing that you’re gonna undo all the dak-juk did” sol said light heartedly to lift the mood. This did not work.

“Sorry” She looked sadder than ever, that bright beautiful smile was not replaced with a grey and muted one as if she was seeing her whole life work collapse infront of her. Seeing how upset she was, Sol kissed two of his fingers, and placed it on his forehead. This did seem to work and some of her glow was restored in her eyes.

“See you mom” He said with a grin, “Spook the fuck out of our neighbors for me”

“Language!”

#light novel #story time #writing #death #nothing gold can stay #original story

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ouchmaster6000 · 5 years

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RE that zim/anpanman post - while Anpanman doesn't get as dark in tone, Baikinman regularly tries to kill people and has done things like tear pages out of an anthropomorphic book and make food-based characters spoil and rot. Not as gruesome as doing it to "real people" characters but that's not the point really; the idea behind it is still there, so Japanese kids are just very accustomed to an alien being that sadistic within the context of their series

First of all, I should point out I agree that Japanese kids are probably used to seeing more intense stuff on TV than american ones. Alot of shows like Yu-Gi-Oh, One Piece, Digimon and even Pokemon occasionally are known for having stuff edited out of the english dub. A pretty decent number of shonen series just flat out get marketed to an older audience in the states (stuff for kids in japan being aimed at middle schoolers here, stuff for teens being aimed at adults etc.)

Hell, I’m fairly certain Dragon Ball Z and Tenchi Muyo probably would have been marketed to adults in the US if it came out today too (Former for the violence, latter for the sexual stuff) and only got away with as much they did because they were on cable, and the idea that kids anime could appeal to adults simply hadn’t occurred to most western producers at that point.

I just…. Dont really think Anpanman is a good example of this? I also dont agree with the original poster’s Zim comparison. Granted, I suppose I probably should watch the show, but from everything I have seen of it, such as discussions on Bogleech’s website, it doesn’t seem that much edgier than standard kids show? Definitely a bit weirder and more violent than most preschool shows in the states, but overall, I doesn’t sound like Baikinman is much worse the your average kids cartoon villain.

I mean for starters, its pretty standard in kids media for killing and mutilating for non-human characters to be allowed, especially if said characters don’t have blood or flesh.

The obvious example is robots. Star Wars, Transformers, Doctor Who, Superman, Green Lantern, Teen Titans, Xiaolin Showdown, Age of Ultron, - There are way too many shows, comics and movies to list that eithor aimed at kids or families, that have robots and cyborgs being torn apart in ways that would be pretty graphic if it happened to humans or animals.

Digimon is a related example - The only reason the franchise is allowed to have as much death as it does is because 99% of the fatalities happen to digital lifeforms that dissolve into pixels upon death.

Hell one of my favorite movies as a child was the original Toy Story, and all the scenes where Sid was mutilating and blowing up his toys would have gotten a hard R rating if he was doing it to people. I’ve heard a lot of people compare Sid to Dr. Frankenstein, but with toys, but at least Dr. Frankenstein used parts that were already dead (as opposed to tearing/cutting apart still living people) and put them together in a shape roughly resembling a human. Really, Sid’s toys are less Frankenstein and more human centipede.

I also remember Fosters Home for Imaginary friends having a similar reoccuring theme of “food friends” meeting a worse fate than Anpanman. This included half eaten, traumatized anthropomorphic food dreamed up by kids in stuck in fat camp, or a talking pizza dreamed up by the bully character and eaten and killed just seconds after being “born”

So, although obviously dark comedy, Baikinman doing those things isn’t really anything new for childrens media. Neither, is trying to kill someone, since a lot of cartoon villains have made serious attempts to kill people, they just never succeed.

But Zim successfully mutilating and removing the organs and body parts of human children is definitely not normal for a kids show.

Another issue I took with Revretch’s post was that she wasn’t just talking about Zim the character, she seemed to me to be claiming that “Invader Zim” the TV series wouldn’t be seen as edgy just because the main character is similar to Baikenman… but thats not really how it works? You can’t necessarily tell the tone of a show, just from the nature of its protagnist.

Like, by that logic, Courage the Cowardly Dog should be one of the most light hearted and kid friendly shows out there, but in actuality the world he inhabits is much, much darker, scarier and more surreal than Courage himself is.

Its true that, though the writers/network let Zim do much worse stuff on screen, there are plenty of other childrens cartoon characters whose personality is pretty similar to Zim, or whom are a lot creepier and more threatening. Mojo Jojo and HIM from the powerpuff girls are good examples of both of these, respectively.

In fact, Powerpuff Girls, Xiaolin Showdown, Codename: Kids Next Door, Danny Phantom and plenty of other childrens cartoons all have both villains that are similar to Zim, and villains that are considerably more evil, creepy or serious than Zim ever was, but the tone of these shows, overall, is a relatively more optimistic one, where the main protagonists have more or less happy lives and good always triumphs over evil in the end.

Hell, even Gravity Falls, with its use of creepy horror imagery, occasional forays into adult humor, and having one of the most infamous big bads in childrens animation (and easily my favorite from the last 10 years) remains a fairly optimistic show at its core, about family and summer adventures.

This is not the case with Invader Zim, which is a show where humans as a species are portrayed as so comically stupid and mean spirited that, even if Zim somehow successfully killed or enslaved them all, it probably wouldn’t come across as a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

A show where the Irkens are depicted both commiting genocide, and electrocuting a disobedient slave on screen, and whose society is such a dystopia they are forced to udergo intense military training from birth and generally assigned roles for life based on genetics.

A show where the elementary skool is portrayed as a collection of all the absolute worst aspects of public school, both in terms of how its run, and how the kids treat each other, exaggerated to an absurd degree.

A show where a reoccurring joke character is a homeless man, who got taken advantage by a fast food chain, paid in free pizza and a room in the back of a resturant, became morbidly obese (Yes, this is Bloaty’s canon origin story) and was last seen in the original show sobbing uncontrollably because he hates his life.

Also, although this was obviously changed significantly in the comics and the Enter the Florpus special, in regards to what was portrayed in the original show, its really not difficult to make the argument Dib’s own dad and sister don’t give a shit whether or not he lives or dies.

Of course, this was all done for very dark laughs, as well as to create a setting that was just the right balance of humor and nihilism that the viewer could choose to either root for, laugh at or sympathize with either Zim or Dib without really worrying about the actual moral implications of either sides goals.

I’m not saying Zim is the edgiest show out there, comedic or otherwise. With stuff like Warhammer, Berserk, Venture Bros, Metalocalypse and all manner of gritty 90s anihero comics, Zims pretty light hearted and goofy in comparison.

But for childrens animation? Aside from some of the 90’s “grossout” cartoons like Ren & Stimpy and Cow & Chicken (which varied a lot in quality, imo) I can’t really think of any others that come close (Maaaaybe Billy & Mandy, but I think its too tonally inconsistant, with a lot of episodes being pretty standard cartoon slapstick.)

Wow, I sure did type a lot. Sorry about that. But Invader Zim is one of my all time favorite shows, and fictional villains one of my favorite topics, so I feel like I have a lot to say about them.

#invader zim #anpanman #baikenman #cartoons #anime #children's media #villains #cartoon villains #iz

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bolbianddolanhouse · 5 years

Text

BNHA AU [self insert]

Nani the heck is this? read here!

Chapter 1: *plays Joji’s Yeah Right*

“...and heres your living quarters, fully furnished and with groceries that’ll last a while” said my case worker as I meekly followed next to them.

“thank you! its really nice.” I said, trying to not sound sad.

“I know its tough being young and by yourself, but I believe in you Miss Palma! Don’t hesitate to give us a call if you have questions or need other arrangments.”

“thank you for your kind words, I’ll keep that in mind” I said as politely as I could because I knew I wasn’t going to call them for shit. “Ill get my luggage out of my car, its not much so I’ll be fine if you need to leave”

“oh alright, Ill leave you to settling in and remember that a UA staff will be coming by with your uniforms tomorrow in the afternoon.”

oh jeez I forgot about that, not looking forward to get fat shamed in this country, let alone by a school staff. “oh right! it almost slipped my mind that here you wear uniforms in high school! hehe thank you for the reminder!”

“no problem! Bye bye”

oof! I was getting tired of pretending to be polite to that case worker. The past 3 months has been tough with the whole being sent away from my family and finding a school with nearby housing. At least I can sleep well without thinking where I’ll end up next. I unpack my 3 suitcases of clothes, personal belongings, cosmetics and other nessities. I take out my framed photo of my family and place it on my bed stand, I miss them and the doggos. I try not to cry and continue to put my things away. I made myself dinner, took a bath and laid in bed; and I’m thinking if I should call my parents to tell them I got settled. I checked the time, it was 4am their time, I sent a text instead.

[Hola mama y papa! ya estoy en mi apartamento, es muy lindo. Llama me cuando puedas, te extrano mucho y tambien a los doggos!]

I haven’t talked to my parents in a week because of the whole phone arrangement and being too busy with the entrance exam. Now I guess I’ll sleep and do some school supply shopping after meeting with the staff member.

-the next day-

Its saturday and its gloomy out and I wake up thinking, great! even the sky knows its going to be a rough day today! I get dressed, eat and gluzzle down my daily 2 cups of coffee. I scroll through my private social media handles to check on my friends, looks like they’re having fun, without me. I suck in the tears because I know DAMN well they’re sad I’m gone too. I distract myself with memes and I think maybe I should make some tea? and some cookies too? do i even have tea? I go through the cupboads and pantry, the case worker wasn’t kidding when they said that I had groceries that’ll last a while! I had 2 different types of tea, dry pastas, canned goods, snacks and some traditional ingredients for japanese and mexican cusine. I go searching for a kettle or teapot and I find a juicer in the way back of the top cupboard. There was a note on the juicer that said ‘to the next tenant, my wife didn’t want to take this big, messy thing to our next place, hope you find use out of this!’ I laugh at the idea that there was probably a lovers quarral over the juicer. I make tea and some green juice, just so I can get rid of the bundle of kale in the fridge, I hate kale. I make some cookies too but its just so I can get my mind off things since I was so nervous on meeting this staff member. Right on the dot, at 3pm, theres a knock at my door. I look through the peep hole and I see this woman with blue eyes and dark purple-ish, black hair in busniess causal attire. I open the door and put on my best ‘everything is ok’ face.

“hello! are you Miss Palma?”

“yes I am! are you the UA staff member with the uniforms?”

“I am! its so nice to meet you, I am Kayama sensei or better know as Midnight”

“Midnight? Ok um, would you like to come inside?”

“oh yes, thank you! Now I understand that you live alone?” she said as she walked in to the apartment.

“yes thats correct, I got here yesterday and settled in”

“oh wow, and at such a young age! Well If you need anything or need to talk about anything thats bothering you, please let me know! This whole you being separated from family and home worries me” She said in the most sincer tone that I almost started crying. I haven’t heard single person talk to me so genuinely since I left America and I need a trusted adult to help me, I heavily considered her offer.

“oh thank you for your offer, I might need some help in a few weeks BUT for now, may I offer you some tea? coffee? green juice? maybe some cookies?”

“green? juice? whats in it? I’ve never heard of green juice before”

“oh right! its a California health culture thing. Its the juice of pinapple, apple, kale, lemon and cucumber. The combination of the fruits and vegetables is for a healthy disgestive system and energy for before or after exersize”

“that sounds tasty! Ill have green juice please”

I serve her the juice and sit across from her in the living room. I see the clothing bags and think that thats alot of clothing bags just to give me 3 sets of uniforms. She drinks the juice and wanted to say something about my expression when I saw the bags but her eyes widened and she looked at the cup of juice.

“OH MY GOODNESS! this is the best and freshest juice I’ve ever had NO JOKE! You said this is a thing where you’re from? I need to invest in a juicer to make this at home!” she said so shocked and I was surprised to recieve the praise like I invented the juice.

“I’m glad you like it! Its like a little slice of my hometown to me to you”

“oh? ok back to business! I see you eyeing the uniforms, you want to try them on? I brought some sizes up and down from the given mesurements.”

“um ok sure! Let me take these to try on in my room, ill be right out”

I take the bags to my room and I zip them open and I see the white collared shirts, gray blazer looking thing and skirts. I think oh jeez my ass is definately not gonna fit in these bitches. I put on the shirt and blazer that best fit and lastly the skirt, SUPRIZE! you can see my ass cheeks hanging out from the bottom. I walk out of the room to Midnight.

“ok so I found a shirt and top that fits well on me BUT the skirt...” and I turn around and show her my exposed ass cheeks peeking underneath.

“oh dear, thats definately not in regulation! Ok so you need a longer skirt? like... another 6 inches?” she said as she takes out a measuring tape from her purse.

“um yea, if thats doable”

“it is but we won’t have that ready until the 1st day of classes, so I guess for now, try on the pants and see if any of those fit”

Great. I’m going into a new school, misgendered and foreign passing. 2 of the pants in the clothes bag fit well....too well. We said our good byes and I had at least 2 sets of uniforms ready until I get a proper pair. No matter, at least my ass won’t be hanging out at school. I go school supply shopping and came upon the holy grail of stationary, SCENTED PAPER AND GLITTER PENS. Of course in the pastel rainbow colors and matching lead pencils. I get a whole matching set along with a backpack, water bottle and coffee tumbler. I was going to soon regret that matching set (more on that later) but I was just SO happy that I was pink, pretty and sparkly.

-Fast forward to the 1st day-

I was in a much better mood because the sun was out, the coffee smelled particularly good, I made myself look cute but toned down for a good 1st day impression. I grab my keys and think I think I’m forgeting one detail? What could it be? and I thought Oh! I need to text my parents that I’m happy and I’m going to school now! I am noticably happy that the nice front desk lady of my housing noticed and wished me luck on my 1st day. I get in my car and I have 1 hour to get to school but its only a 8 minute drive and I wanted to circle to find parking and see where the entrance is so I can teleport from wherever I parked. I pass the gates before seeing the parking and I think oh cool its just right there! but Ill still teleport in the front. I park and I don’t even get out of my car, I just hug my backpack and teleport in front of the gates. I start walking toward the gates and try to not smile like an idiot but I start to notice all the looks and stares. And I think oh they just don’t recongize me because I look foreign or didn’t see me at the entrance exams. As a enter the 1st year doors I hear

‘yo you see that guy? he looks as pretty as a girl! Guess his favorite color is baby pink? Are they wearing eyeliner? I wonder how long is his hair? That bun is tastful, no homo tho!’

I FORGOT THAT PANTS ARE THE BOY’S UNIFORM AND MY SKIRTS ARE STILL BEING TAILORED! I socially already fucked up, guess I won’t be making friends anytime soon. But I guess I’m glad they think I’m a pretty girl in the boy’s uniform? I walk up to the table at the furthest hall on the right that says International Student Check In thats me. I get greeted by a man with a boombox looking thing on their neck, black pants and jacket, small triangle sunnies and yellow hair.

“HEEYYY welcome to UA!”

“oh thank you! I am Itati Palma, American student”

“okay lets see, palma palma paruma AH found you! OH YOURE THAT JAZZY SAX GIRL THAT TURNED HERO!”

oh jeez who put that on my record?! “hehehe yea thats me”

“coolio jazzy girl! Heres your schedule, pins and a note from Midnight”

“pins?”

“yeeeaahh! pins to put on your uniform to let other students and staff where youre from and get to know you better!”

I open the small manila pouch into my hand and two pins fall into my palm, the American and Mexican flag. I look at them and tried not to cry, I missed my home and chill life in Cali.

“hey hey! your classes are on the 3 hall on the right, door all the way down.”

“oh right!” that snapped me out of my sentiment, “thank you again! Mr?”

“they call me Mic sensei”

“Mic? ok thanks!”

I walk quickly to my classroom, I get to the outside of the door and think welp, heres to 3 years of being called pretty boy and other dumb shit. I open the door and I see 9 desks and 5 people already there. Oh jeez, what a small class size but at least nobody is staring at me. I sit in the middle seat, though I prefer the front desk but they were already claimed! Guess classroom culture is different here too. In front of me was a boy to what I thought was a Japanese native until they turned and I caught a glimpse of their pin, they’re Korean! They noticed my pins too and had a confused look as they gave me a once over.

“You’re an...american? and mexican? You traveled quite a ways”

“um yeah hehe, I am Itati Palma by the way!”

“hmm, nice to meet you Palma-san, I’m Jin Matsui”

“nice to meet you too!”

Before I could ask them where in Korea are they from, the door slammed open. A tall and muscular white-blonde girl walked in, I tried so hard not to stare at them but they looked so tough and wondered if that’s part of their quirk. She sat behind me and Jin and I turned around to get a better look at them. I saw their pins, the Russian and Japanese flag, shes also a foreign student. She looked up with a death stare at me and Jin but then her eyes widened and she smiled.

“ah! fellow foreigners! Hello!” she spoke in a predominate Russian accent that matches so well with her image.

“um yeah! Hello, I’m Itati Palma”

“Hi, and I’m Jin Matsui”

“Palma-san and Matsui-san?Milana Mikhalia Oleshin, very nice to meet you!”

Oh my! A long and hard to pronounce name, I guess we aren’t at nickname or first name basis yet for everything to go smoother. I turn to my bag because I got a text, its my parents!

[Hola mija! Que bien que estas feliz hoy! Te amo y ponde bien en tus studias, dios te bendiga.]

Oh mom, you have no idea how bad I had it earlier. I look around and see everyone has nice, canvas school bags and I have my baby pink one with a puppy on it. And everyone had normal stationary and you can smell and see mine from across the hall. Oof, what I’d give to redo today. I look at my schedule and see that I have a short school day this semester.

Palma, Itati (F) (International) Intelligence Core Program [1-A]

Homeroom......9a-10am..........................................Intelligence Wing, room 1-A

Weaponery.......10:15am-11:50am.........................................Gym

Hero Course [Ethics and Laws].....12p-1:15p...........Hero Wing, room 1-A

Free Period.........2:50p-3:30p.......................................TBA

Intelligence Course[Statistics&Strategy]3:45p-4:40p..Intelligence Wing,room 3-A

Seems like a reasonable schedule, better than America. I didn’t know that Oleshin-san was peeking over my shoulder to read my schedule.

“YOURE THE GIRL THAT TESTED OUT OF GENERAL STUDIES?!”

I jumped in my seat “um yea?”

“I heard about you! The staff and school district are boasting that they got the potentially genius level international students. They said that theres 2 of them here at UA and they are jumping straight into course work! One has placed college level English and 3rd year Level Strategtic Thinking! And thats you!”

Jin turns around, looking bootytickled “erm, what? Let me see your schedule.”

He scans and compares it to his “well theres proof that you are one of those students, but then again, so am I”

I take a look at his, almost identical except they’re not taking the hero course, but second year english. What a weird turn of events that I’d be in the same class as other international students in the same school arrangments? I guess they’re my friends now.

A clean cut man in a blue jumpsuit with multiple patches on the arms opens the door. I just knew they were our teacher, it shows that he’s been through it all and has wisdom to bestow upon us.

“Hello, good morning students, if you could all take your seats so I can get things started”

Everyone fell into place and was attentive.

“Welcome to the Intelligence Program, You can call me Diya sensei, I’m a retired secret service of Japan better known as Agent 99 code name ‘Space Cowboy’”

I tried so hard not to laugh at that code name, I wondered why he was called that. Maybe his quirk?

“Now to take roll, say present when I say your name”

He finished roll and said “huh, 3 international students? I expect impeccable work from you three. I won’t slow down for you”

I somehow wasn’t scared of that statement. Before moving on to explaining the coursework and lessons, a lizard bolted from the window and to Diya sensei. He let out one of the most high pitched yelps and retreated to the corner. How can a man so sharp and decorated, be reduced to a crying mess over a lizard? Matsui-san captures the fast lizard and wraps it in his gym towel to take outside after homeroom. Sensei regains his composure and continues class like nothing happened. After homeroom, we all had weaponery but we didn’t get to use any gear or weapons yet. Instead we got measured for our jumpsuits and PE clothes plus got settled in the locker rooms. To my surprise it was co-ed locker rooms since it was a small class size and only 3 girls. Everyone was respectful of eachother’s bodies and privacy. Next I was supposed to go to the ethics class but in Midnight’s note, she said that I start that class on Wednesday so for the time being, I have to report to the staff room to meet with them. I go to the staff room and on the way I see a class doing drills with quirks outside, it looked fun and everyone looked so focused. I get to the staff room and Midnight hands me my tailored skirts and 3rd set of uniform. I also got to know the other teachers and staff including the principal, a big ass fuckin rat. I was about to punt that bitch when they opened the door if they didn’t start talking. Other than that, it was a nice time and then there was lunch. I walked in the cafeteria and saw the long ass lines and said ‘fuck that’, so I teleported to my car and ate my packed food in there. Next was my free period, Midnight said that it was alright for me to wander around campus so I can get to know the place better so I can teleport from class to class. I wander around without my bag, just my phone and schedule with school map folded in my pocket. I go to the hero wing to find the 1-A room, nobody was in there, maybe its gym time for them? I pass by a group of 3 upper classmen, A boy with black hair and pointy ears, a taller boy with lemon colored hair and a girl with long sky blue hair. They all looked at me as I passed by and I felt intimidated because they have a strong presence to them but I didn’t know why or how. I hid behind the corner and heard them talking about me,

“did you see that? I made accidental eye contact and I think I’m going to be sick”

“hmm, do you think thats the international student Mirio? They had an american flag pin”

“Maybe? Theres no description of them other than they’re American and a 1st year in the Intelligence program”

“wait, sceret service? I thought they saved their school from a gang by disabling the leader? Why are we interested in her again Mirio?”

“She’s a true hero Amajiki! We could learn alot from her and maybe change their mind to be a hero, like they were meant to be”

What the heck was that Lemon boy going off about? A hero? Change my mind? Learn from me? I turned the corner to tell them off but they were gone and I wasn’t about to go looking for them. I wander some more and the bell rings and a swarm of students come out of their classrooms, I couldn’t naviagate around and I think, guess Ill teleport, BUT THEN I COULDN’T! Like when I was acting up back home and my mom would use her erasure quirk on me to prevent me from escaping. But my mom couldn’t be here!? Then what the fuck is going on? Then a man’s voice from behind me spoke,

“are you lost young lady?”

I turn around and I’m shaking in fear before I even see this mystery man. I see him and he’s a tall, dark long haired with eye bags. I knew right away he was the one who erased my quirk, his eyes glowed the same way my mom did when she activated her quirk. Mom i thought and how much I missed her and I couldn’t hold back my tears this time. I cried in front of this man I just met. He arched his brow then gazed his eyes on my flag pins. He gasped and deactivated his quirk.

“oh no I’m sorry Miss! I didn’t mean to scare you to tears, are you alright?”

I stammered “um uhhhh -sniff- I’m, I’m ok! um I’ll just leave”

“no please, let me escort you to your next class, I feel terrible for making you cry. Especially on the 1st day”

I felt sort of better when he offered, I let him walk with me.

“you didn’t scare me, I cried because you and my mother have the same quirk and looking at your glowing eyes reminded me of her and how much I miss her”

“oh! same quirk you say? Were you a trouble maker?”

“nah, I would try to teleport away when it was time to do housework when I was younger and she’d disable my quirks so I couldn’t escape and HAD to do chores”

He laughed “what a woman! Say, your not from around here huh?”

“nope, I’m from America with hispanic roots”

“OH! you’re an ethnic American! That’s why you have two flags.”

“yup, I got here about a week ago and settled about 3 days ago”

“yeah, Midnight told me about you. You’re a very unique indivdual, how are your classes so far?”

“nothing interesting yet”

“well hopefully things pickup soon, oh i think this is your wing”

“um oh yea it is, thank you for walking me over, Mr?”

“Mr Aizawa, or better known as Eraserhead”

“Eraserhead? um ok thanks again!”

“no problem, see you wednesday”

“wednesday?”

“yea, I’m the Hero Course ethics teacher. See you then!”

Then this man deadass walks away after dropping that bomb on me? What a legend, can’t wait to sit in his class. My last class was more up my alley and the upperclassmen were so nice that I didn’t feel any different from them. I walked to my car to reflect on all the shit that happened today and what I am going to do to make school bearable. The drive to my place was pleasant but I saw a bunch of students walking together like they just became friends and wanted to spend more time together. I felt a little lonely when I got home, I remembered when I was in america and I would talk to my friends after school and how they’d wait for me after band practice to hang out. I took off my uniform and hanged up my new ones and had one really good cry. I haven’t cried that hard in months and it was much needed for my mental health. I washed up and ate and tried to just forget all the dumb shit of the day when I laid down to sleep.

-fast foward to Wednesday-

“hey Palma-san! did you do the online homework for stats and strats?”

“yee, did you?” I said knowing damn well what Matsui-san was going to say.

“psh! course I did, I was just making sure you did it so you might have something to do during free period”

“HEY! T-posing through the halls IS a viable thing to do! I was studying where everthing is on campus for future use”

“IS NOT WHEN YOU LEVITATE AND SCREECH IN THE BOYS BATHROOM WHILE I’M IN THERE!”

Before I could retort back, Oleshin-san butted in,

“aye Palma-san, you excited for your hero course class?”

“oof yee, the teacher is kinda hot”

“I SAW and I’m jealous! You have to tell me if the boys in that class are hot too!”

“ugh, don’t you two have better things to talk about than butts and boys?”

“I’m so excited tho! To meet anybody thats outside our program and learning new things?! I just hope they like me, I even made them cookies”

“Palma-san nani the heck!? I want a cookie”

“You guys can get a cookie during lunch if theres any leftovers”

I quickly change after weapons class and bolt to the hero wing. I walk down the hall and I’m really feeling nervous! I look at my coffee tumbler and felt calmer as I took a sip. Ok Ita, you can do this, no chickening out now I psych myself up as I stand in front of the door. I open the door, expecting everyone to be strewn about and talking...nope. I walk in and everyone is in their seats and sensei was standing up in the front and I disrupted them. Everyone was staring and I instantly get flushed and I check to make sure I was in the right classroom and said,

“did I fuck up?”

“no actually I was just talking about you, perfect timing!” said Aizawa with a smile. “why don’t you come up and introduce yourself?”

“um ok” I said as I scanned the room. I got up to the front, chugged down my coffee for dominance, did a quick spin for drama and put on my ‘I swear I slept a normal amount of sleep last night’ face.

“Hi hello~ My name is Itati Palma and I’m from America! The reason I don’t look like one is because my ethnic background is hispanic, or in other words, both of my parents are from Mexico but I was born in America. My quirk isn’t the strongest or the most useful BUT I can be of better help in other parts of combat, so please, we don’t have to be friends but lets all work hard together” I bow respectfully and turn to sensei.

“nice speech kid, you can take the seat on the third row”

“um ok thanks”

As I’m walking toward my seat, sensei walks out saying he’ll be right back with more handouts. I sit and I feel all eyes on me, giving me the once over. The person in front of me has a bird head but normal human body from the neck down, the person behind me has half their face covered with multiple limbs and the person on my left has red spiky hair and was staring REALLY hard at me. I almost didn’t want to look at them until sensei came back, I just sat there blushing really hard.

“Kirishima! stop staring at her! Can’t you see you’re making her uncomfortable?!” said the boy with glasses making chopping motions.

“Oh sorry! Its just that I’ve never seen curly hair of that type in person, you have really nice hair and your backpack is cute”

“um thank you, I feel sorta out of place with it tho, everyone else has normal bags”

“tch, makes you look like a little girl” muttered the boy with the blonde hair.

“Kacchan thats so rude! I think their choice of bag is cute and different in a good way” said some broccoil looking ass.

“well um, not to change the subject, but I made you guys cookies! I got up extra early to bake them”

“Cookies?! oh how sweet of you!” joked the pink girl.

“Oh here, let me help you with that” said the boy with glasses as he stood up.

“oh no I got this” I take out a package of colorful napkins and the box of cookies and I toss the napkins up and activate my quirk to pass out the napkins. Then I opened the box and gave everyone a cookie and gave sensei 3.

“so cool! you passed out the treat without getting up!” squealed what I assume to be the invisible girl.

“THESE COOKIES ARE SOOO YUMMY TOO!” proclaimed the boy with a black streak in their yellow hair.

Everyone was in a better mood and I got compliments for my cookies, I was in my happy place. After class, as I was packing my bag, the boy with the glasses came up to my desk

“thank you for the cookie, Palma-san, you really know how to bring a crowd together”

“oh thank you, uhhhhh”

“hm? OH my name is Tenya Iida, sorry I forgot to introduce myself earlier”

“Iida-san? oh its alright, its nice to meet you”

“I haven’t seen you around halls, sensei tells us your in a different program? Is it true?”

“Yes its true, also the school is kinda big and I can be easy to miss in a crowd because I’m so short”

“I see, well its lunch time! May I walk you to the lunch room?”

“oh thank you but I usually eat in the parking lot” I soon regreted my words because this square faced, glasses wearing ass gasped and grabbed me by the wrist followed by dragging me down the hall.

“You’ve been by yourself during such social time?! Now I have a better reason to bring you to the lunch group!”

“eating by yourself isn’t a huge deal” I say but looking back, thats all I’ve been doing.

“A true hero never lets a fellow classmate eat alone!”

I get aggitated and retort “well what if they want to be alone!” as I teleport out of his grip and 3 feet behind him. He sees the whole thing and stopped on the dime, he was shocked.

“you, you used your quirk to escape my grip? What is your quirk exactly?”

“Heck, um its Mid-range Telekinesis, I can levitate, levitate others and objects and teleport about 2 miles at a time.”

“thats incredible power! what do you mean your quirk isn’t strong or useful?! You’re gifted in so many ways!”

I wasn’t having fun anymore, he wasn’t letting me talk or left me alone when I said I wanted to.

“please stop”

“hmm? stop what”

“stop, talking about my quirk like I’m some sort of show horse”

“Show horse? no no no! I didn’t mean to-”

“STOP!” I didn’t want to hear it, I just wanted to hide. Tears were welling up in my eyes.

“what is going on here? Tenya, what are doing to that poor girl?” it was Midnight. “oh no, are you ok Itati?” and I start to cry when she made eye contact with me.

“its ok, you’re ok! please don’t feel sad” she comforted me as she held me, “why don’t you go to lunch Tenya, I’ll take care of things here”

“but I- I mean-”

“please, she’s been through too much already”

He walked away, looking back every few steps. Midnight escorted me to the staff room so I can calm down a bit and talk about what happened.

“You want to talk about it?” she asked me softly.

“yea, the school culture is too much for me”

“how so? Are you not making friends? Are the classes too hard?”

“its mostly the students outside of my program, they’re too into their hero agenda to be the best that they aren’t considering other’s personal feelings or perfernces”

I then tell her about the 3 upper classmen that talked about me and what Iida told me as they dragged me down the hall.

“oh I see now, it almost feels like you’re being targeted and pressured.”

“yeah, I want to learn about this hero culture more but this is too much at once. It’s strange because back home, I was so used to be part of the crowd and stand out when I wanted to. And here it feels like I breathe a little too loud and I’m suddenly getting looks”

“ok, I’m glad you aren’t giving up. But if they start getting physical and racist, please let any of the staff know.”

“alright, Thank you Midnight! I don’t know what I’d do without you”

I go about my day and tell Matsui and Oleshin what happened after school. They weren’t too keen about it,

“That glasses wearing asshole!”

“yea not good on a future hero if you tell me”

“We got your back Palma-san”

“YEAH! we international students have to stick together, its scary being alone”

“yea Matusi-san is right. If any of those hero asses try any of us, I’ll flex on them and toss them in the trash!” Oleshin-san said as she flexed her strong arms.

“And I can portal us to safety or anywhere really” Matsui-san said as he jumped.

“oh guys! I’m gonna cry again!” I said because I was so touched by their words.

“and I’ll T-pose, screech and rise on them. Maybe levitate them in the trash too”

We all laugh as we flex and T-pose together in the school parking lot. They walked me to my car. We were about to part ways to head home when I said

“hey, um you guys can call me Ita, if you want”

“Ita? then you can call me Jin”

“oh we doing short hand! then you can call me Mimi”

“Jin and Mimi huh? ok! see you guys tomorrow”

“bye!”

“until tomorrow”

As I drove home, I thought Holy shit I just made friends.

-End Chapter 1-

#bnha #mha #self insert au #chapter 1 #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything

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taehyungiesnoona · 6 years

Text

85 Questions~

––answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

––tagged by @mostlymin 💛 (ily Sunnie!)

––tagging: @minnsvga @hunkyhobi @cutelittleyoongi && @bymoonchild (if you guys want to that is, no pressure)

LAST

1. drink - water

2. 📱call - to my dad asking him about his day while i was on my lunch break

3. text - a guy i recently reconnected with (nothing serious)

4. song you listened to - euphoria (you know i love me some kookie)

4. time you 😢- 3 months ago when i got my heart broken by someone i thought really wanted something lasting.

HAVE YOU EVER

6. dated someone twice - yeah, i dated someone on and off for 4 years

7. 😘 someone & regretted it - yes, and only because he was a sloppy kisser haha

8. been cheated on - sadly, yes

9. lost someone special - yes

10. been depressed - yes, i’ve been struggling with depression for years now and am proud to say it has been more under control with the past year.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - drunk, yes but i never puke.

FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. any shade of pink (mostly pastel)

13. mint green

14. lilac

15. periwinkle

in the last year have you

16. made new friends - yes

17. fallen out of love - only once

18. 😂 until you 😢- yesterday when I was watching the latest episode of Run BTS!

19. found out someone was talking about you - i think i have?

20. met someone who changed you - multiple times

21. found out who your friends were - most of the friends I turn to are the ones I made online. i don’t really have friends irl

22. 😘 someone on your facebook friends list - more than one haha most of my friends on FB are people i went to high school with.

GENERAL

23. how many friends from your facebook friends list do you know irl - idk tbh honest, i don’t use FB much anymore but i know quite a few just don’t know the exact number.

24. do you have any pets - yessssss i do, my babyyyyyyy Oreo

25. do you want to change your middle name - no, i like my middle name alot. it’s really pretty.

26. what did you do for your last birthday - went to olive garden

27. what time did you wake up today - 5:40 AM for work

28. what were you doing last night at midnight - i was crashed tf out

29. what is something you can’t wait for - to see BTS in concert 09/16

30. what are you listening to right now - playlist is on shuffle and currently playing Fire

31. have you every talked to a person named tom? - i remember having a manager named tom so yes i have lol

32. something that gets on your nerves - when someone younger than me (mostly in their teens) calls me “hun” or “sweetie” idk it just bothers me haha

33. most visited website - tumblr, twitter and youtube

34. hair color - it’s supposed to be blue black but my natural dark brown hair is beginning to show again.

35. long hair or short hair - my hair is pretty long

36. do you have a crush on someone - i actually do, i have a small crush on a coworker of mine but nothing will ever come out of it lol

37. what do you like about yourself? - i like how big my eyes are as well as their color

38. want any piercings? - nah piercings aren’t my thing.

39. blood type - let me get me get back to you on this

40. nicknames - shay (yup shay isn’t my real name), shayshay, shay bae, peanut (only family calls me this)

41. relationship status - mentally married to kim taehyung

42. zodiac - leo

43. pronouns - she/her

44. favorite 📺 show - i don’t watch much tv but i used to love the vampire diaries as well as degrassi

45. tattoos - 1. getting another one next week for my birthday

46. right handed or left? - i’m a leftie

47. ever had surgery? - no

48. piercings - my ears were piecred when i was a baby and though i haven’t worn earrings in forever the holes are still there. idk it’s a bit weird

49. sports - i’m not into sports at all

50. vacation - it’s been a while since i’ve gone on a vacation since i’m too busy adulting.

51. trainers - i’ll be honest, i don’t know how to answer this one haha

MORE GENERAL

52. eating - some chips

53. drinking - dr pepper

54. i’m about to watch - nothing for today since i caught up on everything for now

55. waiting for - the weekend so i can sleep!

56. want - to cuddle Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin and Oreo...all at the same time

57. get married - refer back to question 41

58. career - i’m an account representative currently, i’d love to become a teacher of some sort one day.

WHICH IS BETTER

59. kisses or hugs - kisses! especially when you feel those sparks

60. 👄 or eyes - eyes most def

61. shorter or taller - it never matters to me but i do have a preference to taller

62. older or younger - don’t make me choose. i’d have to say i have a thing for younger guys (hence my biases)

63. nice arms or stomach - uhhhhhh.....neither really matter to me, stomach maybe?

64. hookup or relationship - relationship for sure

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hmmmmm, troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER

66. 😘 a stranger - i don’t think i have?

67. drank hard liquor - yes when i was younger. i don’t drink much now

68. lost glasses -this happens too frequent. i keep telling myself to put them in the case, i’m so blind without my glasses

69. turned someone down - yeah multiple occasions recently

70. sex on a first date - i haven’t really been on a date but no

71. broken someone’s ❤️- yeah and it sucked being the heartbreaker

72. had your 💔- yes and it sucks being the heartbroken

73. been arrested - i’m a good girl

74. 😢 when someone died - yes, i get in my feels heavily

75. fallen for a friend - i fell so hard for an friend i had while living in NY. he was literally my type and everything. we actually both liked one another, even kissed but things were...complicated so we decided to stay friends.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself - sometimes

77. miracles - yes

78. 💛at first sight - i’m a hopeless romantic so of course i do!

79. 🎅- not anymore, that ended when i saw my mom putting the presents under the tree

80. 😘on a first date - i see no problem if you click with the person right away

81. angels - yes, i always believed they do

other

82. best friends name - oreo

83. eye color - light brown

84. favorite movie - rush hour series (i crack up all the time), and also the 1997 version of Cinderella

85. favorite actor - i don’t really have one

#tags #sweetopiaa #a little insight of me

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myanondiary · 4 years

Text

To Michema.

There was no need to block my mother because from her end she thinks she did something when she didn’t. Expecting me to reach out to you after you disrespected is a far reach. I say this with no water in me mouth, you wouldn’t have heard from me again regarding this situation. We’ve known each other too long and we’ve grown far too much for the way you talked to me. I can’t see past it and for sure wouldn’t have hit you up about it especially since I asked if you needed a few days and you shut that down and cancelled this friendship before you slammed my door.

Though you sound sorrowful for disrespecting me, I don’t accept it for the same reasons above. Also, you can tell me things about people you’re close to that did shitty things to you and I’ve never fixed my mouth to disrespect them because at the end of the day, they are people you care about. So yes, I’m further hurt by “in me hole” comment, telling me to tell him shub he apology up he ass, and the message you sent him (cause you did talk about me as well).

Correcting that you said “he did that cause he was in me hole” aint no better. We had sex two weeks after we shared feelings this month. Everything I told you he did for me happened before. I moved in Septemeber.

The wine was from me, not him. He had nothing to do with the idea, he just gave me money for it. He wanted to ease my strain. Less about you and nothing to do with why y’all not talking anymore, more about me and the nice gesture I wnted to do for you. That doesn’t make it any less genuine. I didn’t even have to tell you he bought it but in my little way yes, I was softening you up to the idea of him. More on this down below. I didn’t say it was a confession either, I said I have something nice to say about Domonic.

Not sure why you’re asking yourself if I’m concerned with what he did like we didn’t talk about that situation umpteen of times.

Why wouldn’t me and Dominic be friends? He isn’t a stranger to me. Have we forgotten that we all chilled before? Reflect back to the first time I asked if you feel a way that he’s been helping me out alot. I recall me saying “I feel fraudy because he’s been such a good friend to me.” That’s when you said I shouldn’t feel away cause yes he’s a big help.

Side note, I’ve attempted to tell you on two different occasions you was by me since that time how a good friend he was to me and you quite literally shut it down as “he still fake”. Tried to get you to see that he has changed alot (you recalled that time during the discussion I had with you and him) but that wasn’t enough for you to change his mind on him.

You’ve called me at times when I said he was by him. Oh let’s recall the moment I told you I was by him smoking and you came off the phone after saying you needed time from me. I told you we did inktober together where I went by him every night to do some drawings. I told you he took out my smoke alarm, he put up my art boxes, he printed my shirt for the event and the obvious of me using his microwave to heat up food. I also told you he washed my clothes the second time I was cramping from period and just didn’t have it in me to go by Torian. I even told you about the time he was sad and I told you that I told him he can talk to me about it but he was still pretty vague in what troubled him. Soooo nothing about this screams friends? I gone just use the man and keep it at bay?

I said he don’t come down here and at that time it was true. He came down just to help me and left right after. The first time Domonic spent more than 10 minutes down here was the day after I found Jazzi. First time.

I refer to him as me neighbour to literally everybody else but you. Jacynthia and Chantal was here literally this week and they ask who playing music? Me: Me neighbour. When I couldn’t go by Torian to wash my clothes the second time I told her I’ll get it done by my neighbour. Yanny and Glassil were the ones who heard “my neighbour” the most cause they usually wanted to see me when I was by him doing art things. All when I asked Ajayi for advice he was still my neighbour. It was much easier saying that to them because they don’t know him and calling his name didn’t make any sense. Between me and you, he was Domonic, so I don’t know where you getting that “he was just me neighbour” from.

You’re asking me how you’re supposed to react to all that information dropping on you as if I withheld information that was severely damaging to your reputation. I came to you with good news about me. Somewhere between our discussion, you said “ofcourse I want you to be happy” but none of this screams that.

I’m the friend you come to for voice of reason, for unbiased opinions, logical explanations. How in this very moment when it comes to me it’s “I’m not grasping it” but every other time I was on point with what I had to tell you regarding your situations? I’ve thought about it from a different angle - what if it was me. That was an easy thought because it did happen. You told me about Josh after you guys developed a friendship and became lovers that talked and video called every day. I remember asking you how this even happen? Where he even come from? I didn’t even know you guys were friends. As much as I was shocked at you (not hurt, just happily surprised) and him being a random as hell pairing and me hearing the time I did, I was HAPPY for you. The only thing different between that situation and this one is that you hated Domonic for what he did. Your opinion about him was already skewed so even if I had told you earlier, your “I don’t support it” comment would’ve come out just the same - and I knew this. And for that reason, I wanted to protect my feelings without any negative opinions. The descriptive word to use here is *selfish* not fake, not shady, but selfish, something I always preach you should be. I put my feelings first and wanted to keep it there. And mind you, it’s not like I didn’t want to tell you. From the moment we shared feelings that’s all I wanted to do. But every time I thought about it, I got anxious because I really didn’t see you giving me a good reaction from it. Forget the “you would’ve warmed up to it” I wanted your initial reaction to be a happy one and that wouldn’t have happened so I procrastinated it. That feeling was fed by every time I tried to tell you he’s changed, the time you needed a break from me right after I told you I was by him smoking (I know in your explanation you said it was because of me abusing weed but me and my overthinking suspected it was because I was close to him), to when you left my place 12 in the morning because I was up by him a little too long tending to Jazzi. I thought if I sat down and explain how great he has been to me, you wouldn’t have any choice but to be happy for me.

My mother’s first introduction to Domonic was when she came to drop me hospital and he was here. Many times my mom popped up and I’m by him and I didn’t tell her anything- just told her I was out. She quite literally didn’t hear about him besides being the person I wash my clothes by and heat up my food. When I got a little better from being sick, she started to ask questions as expected. I shut it down with “I’m not ready to talk about it” twice before I came out and said I like him. She’s been SOO happy for me since. I told her the same week I told you. Akaii is my closest friend and don’t even know a “neighbour” exists yet. I took a picture of braids to show Jacynthia, she noticed him in the back and started asking questions. Only told her he’s my neighbour but she said she can hear the sparkle in my voice. She said while smiling “let it marinate, tell me when you ready”. This was Monday. Ajayi only heard more about him because you asking him for advice led him to come by me to check on me. According to him, he’s living vicariously through me. He’s also happy for me cause he for one knows how long I’ve been looking for someone, so to hear I found someone who is just like me had him so googly eyed. (Side note, much of what I told him, he told me he told you the same - so.)

I say this to say that you’re not the only one “left in the dark”. This is the first time I wasn’t so quick to talk about what’s happening while it’s happening and it has been the best thing ever. My feelings were mine without outside influence, I enjoyed the moments for what they were without expecting to update anyone about it. I talked about my feelings to the person I had feelings for and no one else. It felt like the most adult thing I’ve ever done and I say this to say, I wouldn’t have done anything differently. If I had a chance to tell you earlier and the situation between you and him was still there, I wouldn’t have. If he was a stranger to both you and me when I moved in then for sure, you may have known much sooner. But for now, I feel like telling you earlier would’ve changed a whole lot with how things happened between him so I don’t regret doing that and I don’t apologize for it. What I’m sorry for is how hurt I made you feel about this situation because it’s never my intent to do so. You said somewhere in the voice note that you don’t know where this leaves us and girl - it’s up to you. I’ve been a damn good friend to you, never disrespected you, always gave you the best of me. If this one situation is enough for you to stain me as “fake” like I haven’t been there for you this whole friendship then so be it. I won’t be fighting for it.

0 notes

tooloud-toopainful · 7 years

Note

It's your turn to do all bb

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? I dont remember

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Im mostly shy but I can be outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My friends

4. Are you easy to get along with? Yeah, Im a pretty chill person

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? @childliketemper

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? People who are kind… and other things im too lazy to type it all it would be a page long ha…

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? I dont talk to many guys

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not really, I think we are all adults here.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? @childliketemper

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Choked on my water ( I said before that is I almost fucking died because of you)

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?Seperate from pvris (all songs from pvris), jiffy jane from New Hollow,Bad bad bad by LANY, Strangers by Halsey, Circles by EDEN.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Dude depends who it is

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? To an extent

15. What good thing happened this summer? I got to hang out with @childliketemper

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? NOPE gross

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yes dude, for sure

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? not really

19. Do you like bubble baths? to an extent Im more of a shower person

20. Do you like your neighbors? They are pretty chill

21. What are you bad habits? I got alot… kinda…. not going to list them

22. Where would you like to travel? THE WHOLE WORLD MY DUDE

23. Do you have trust issues? YESSS OMFG I have them so bad

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? My outfits HAHAH

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? how skinny I am (most people say im weird for saying it but its true) OR my jaw

26. What do you do when you wake up? I text @childliketemper good morning everyday

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Neither

28. Who are you most comfortable around? @childliketemper and my sister

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? yep

30. Do you ever want to get married? HECK YA DUDE YOU KNOW IT

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Im pretty sure

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? LYNN GUNN FOR SURE, Brendon urie and ummmmmmm Alex Babinski

33. Spell your name with your chin. Probably not, not even going to try

34. Do you play sports? What sports? NOPE

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Im a chicken alright I wont tell anyone if i liked them

37. What do you say during awkward silences? I crack a cold one with the boys JOKES I crack a joke

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? My dream person…..mmmm TO LAZY TO TYPE IT ALL SORRY

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? old navy for sure and H&M

40. What do you want to do after high school? I dont know….

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depends

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? depends for certain people.

43. Do you smile at strangers? Sometimes… idk

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? OUTER SPACE MY DOOOOD

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? my alarm clock or Im hungry

46. What are you paranoid about? alot of things

47. Have you ever been high? nope

48. Have you ever been drunk? Nope

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? nope just breathing

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? tie die my dude

51. Ever wished you were someone else? yes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? How sensitive and anxious I get

53. Favourite makeup brand? I dont wear makeup

54. Favourite store? Old navy or H&M

55. Favourite blog? @childliketemper

56. Favourite colour? ORANGE

57. Favourite food? Tacos

58. Last thing you ate? chicken alfredo

59. First thing you ate this morning? FRENCH TOAST

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Im a loser so no

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? NOPE

62. Been arrested? For what?NOPE

63. Ever been in love? nope

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? it was awkward I dont think yall need to go through that experience

65. Are you hungry right now? ALWAYS

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? My tumblr friends are my real friends

67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? nope

70. Names of your bestfriends? Kelly, Brynne, Cali, Tristin, Brooke

71. Craving something? What? DEATH

72. What colour are your towels? Blue, I have alot of colors though so

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 4

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? nope

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I got alot my dude

75. Favourite animal? I love all animals but dogs for sure ( my cat is right by me so if I die RIP)

76. What colour is your underwear? gray

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? BOTH

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookie dough

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? gray

80. What colour pants? um Im wearing PJS so blue

81. Favourite tv show? I got so many

82. Favourite movie? I got so many

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Honestly Idk I love all of them

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? DORY I RELATE TO HER SO MUCH

87. First person you talked to today? @childliketemper

88. Last person you talked to today? @childliketemper

89. Name a person you hate? I dont hate anyone sorry dude

90. Name a person you love? what kind of love cause i love all my friends and family

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? MYSELF

92. In a fight with someone? just myself HAHA nah dude im not all about that life I hate drama… love watching drama shows and stuff

93. How many sweatpants do you have? alot

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? SO MANY DONT GET ME STARTED

95. Last movie you watched? Wonder Woman

96. Favourite actress? I have so many ;-;

97. Favourite actor? I have so many as well

98. Do you tan a lot? Nope

99. Have any pets? 1

100. How are you feeling? Im feeling alright

101. Do you type fast? Kinda I think I do

102. Do you regret anything from your past? YEP

103. Can you spell well? idk I feel like I suck at it xD KINDA i guess

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? nope not that i can think of

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? nope but I had one with my family

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I dont think so and if i did Im so sorry my dude

107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes

108. What should you be doing? Idk, living to the fullest

109. Is something irritating you right now? yes

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? YESSSS

111. Do you have trust issues? Yep big time

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I think @childliketemper

113. What was your childhood nickname? There was alot and they were mean

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes

115. Do you play the Wii? I use too

116. Are you listening to music right now? YEP

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yeah dude

118. Do you like Chinese food? EW, no well noodles but Idk what the meat is so i dont eat it

119. Favourite book? anything stephen king

120. Are you afraid of the dark? to an extent

121. Are you mean? to an extent

122. Is cheating ever okay? NO WTF

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? yep

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? to an extent

125. Do you believe in true love? to an extent

126. Are you currently bored? yes

127. What makes you happy? My friends and what I love to do

128. Would you change your name? nope

129. What your zodiac sign? GEMINI

130. Do you like subway? YES

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I would talk to them about it and tell them how I felt even if i didnt feel the same way

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? @childliketemper

133. Favourite lyrics right now? Theres always been a disconnect Running from my heart to my head and no its never made much sense. Ive been feeling so distant, Can you be the one to connect? Pick up all the pieces again?

134. Can you count to one million? Yes but it would take me awhile.. I get out of breath

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? That my sister hit me first even though i did

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? both, mostly open though

137. How tall are you? 5′7 I think

138. Curly or Straight hair? straight

139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette

140. Summer or Winter? I love them both

141. Night or Day? BOTH

142. Favourite month? Idk Any month within spring and fall

143. Are you a vegetarian? NOPE

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk

145. Tea or Coffee? BOTH

146. Was today a good day? I guess

147. Mars or Snickers? BOTH

148. What’s your favourite quote? I dont have one rip

149. Do you believe in ghosts? YES

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? When he did, the door swung shut on his head. ( got to love stephen king my dudes)

0 notes

bellalalawrites · 4 years

Text

the letter that I never wrote (broken best friend edition)

my best friend is married.

my world is shattering. I am losing my best friend. (yes I am the bad friend that compared our friendship to her companionship. she used to get so mad at me because of this haha); this is the dark side behind the word ‘I’m happy for you’. I hope you never read this, not in my knowledge of course.

often times I found myself googling, "is it normal to feel sad when your best friend got married?" I put this in the search box every now and then just to keep myself justified. to my surprise, it is totally normal to feel not okay. it's not about you - not being happy for her, it's rather on the thought of she has someone new to rely on, and I will be fading away from the picture. and I can no longer rely on her as much as I used to be. I mean, things have changed way before she gotten married though. It was after she learnt being in relationships, way before the then-boyfriend-now-husband appeared in the picture. I knew it was just my insecurity but I couldn’t help but to feel sad that I might lose her. I’m already losing her.

when I said I used to rely on her, it means ALOT, like a whole galaxy. the things I did, the thoughts I think, the childhood I had, the times we spent together - always on loop on the back of my head. okay la galaxy is exaggerating but when I think of what would I do if my best friends are no longer here - I would possibly cry two weeks straight and lose the purpose of my life. that’s worth a galaxy of my life. that’s just how meaningful our friendship is, although there are some (read: many) rough patches - but still, I’m heavily dependent on them. we weren’t physically together for half of our friendship (it’s been almost 20 years), more like ODL best friends lol but we are closer than anyone could have ever imagined. I guess that’s also one of the reasons on why I’m numb on the day she decided to have a relationship then. you don’t know how hard it is to watch you best friend shifted her attention to someone else that you don’t know of. I know it’s just me, but yeah - my thought process is very complicated.

I can’t lie that I had not been suffering for many, many years comparing myself to her previous relationships on what I am lacking of as a friend that the need of having a love life surpasses me as her childhood friend that has been there all along? childish of me, I’m very aware of that. I struggled a lot with my thought process every day and the peak of this mess in my head was during early uni days. she gained new friends, she gained best friends, she gained the love of her life. jealousy isn’t even a word to begin with hahaha. but she has always been that selfless best friend, the one that always showed up whenever I need her (but not these days lah, I guess people changed, or maybe... circumstances are different now and nobody is there to blame).

the day she married is when the day I told myself - let go of her and just be there for her, that’s the best thing I could do. anyone who read this must be questioning, why the need for me to feel this way? I can just keep on being her friend though? this goes long way back. I am very insecure in whom I opened up to. the only (two) persons in the world that I choose to expose 60% of my vulnerability is my best friends. probably that is why I felt so, so sad knowing that she made this big decision without thinking twice, she was very confident of whom she’d like to spend her life with. However, being happy with her has nothing to do with me being insecure. I am happy for her, I am glad she has someone to rely on (instead of me, the annoying one), and I am relieved that he is the one for her. they deserved each other and that’s a fact I can’t denied.

What are my expectations now? nothing. I come to terms with my very super high expectations and decided to no longer become the secretly broken hearted best friend. I was very disappointed before that one of my bucket list wasn’t tick off - I had long list of things I would want to do before either of us got married, but life got in the way and I didn’t have the guts to tell her in the face. WE DIDN’T EVEN THROW HER A BACHELORETTE PARTY. that’s how sucks I am. I can never get over that fact. the pandemic now is just an excuse anyway. the real reason was my incapability as the so called best friend to do the basic of basics. I claimed to be her bestest of friend when I don’t even come close to any of the “friendship goals”. I guess another thing is, I always feel indebt of her. she gets to do nice things to me, but I still didn’t meet the opportunity to pay all of her kindness (or maybe I missed that window of opportunity - I guess I am the foolish one).

added to the fact that I grew up watching too many Disney shows and friendship movies that I am hung upon to the story where best friends live together and do things together carefreely without any dramatic events. I desperately wanted that before. little that I know, that was just me. no matter how best friend you are, you don’t really want to spend your life with them when you got your own life (thing is, I don’t have a life hahah). you can easily tell that I am the screwed up one. I’m always sorry for the both of them, and forever grateful for their existence in my life. this is not a goodbye though, but I just wish I had write more on what I felt instead of bulking up till the broken pieces ate my inside. I am left with nothing now. I just wish I could turn back in time to correct things so that I would turn up to be genuinely happy without the need to justify any sadness or disappointments. all in all, it comes down to one regret. I wish I could become the bestest of friend version that I’ve always had in mind.

I know I could still be, but I just need to be an adult now and grow the hell up. (and probably find my own love life so that I could move on)

p/s she didn’t die, she just got married - 1 month ago. and I probably need to see a therapist. this isn’t end of the world.

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

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The toddler looking to be about 4 years old in a blue t-shirt and no pants is Issaiak Jueronup Kattluauti.

He was told by Douglas Shaw, my classmate from 4th grade, 6th grade, same school for the years between including 7th and 8th. To suck his dice and Issaiak said no. So he said "let me suck yours" and he said no.

And so Doug otherwise known as Alex bashed him over the head with a hammer, a ball pin hammer. There should be skull indentions.

In 1992 I inspected his skull with him. I had lived in Texas. He had lived in Minnesota. I remember he said "is it always this cold?"

And i asked him "what do you mean? I thought you were from far away (up north)?"

And he said "what i mean is, i could get used to this"

He died in Texas, his body carried by gocart through the tubes until he got to a little known place in New Mexico that was small and dark, not alot of human traffic or from cars either. And he built his own tunnel and buried the bodies between the concrete building foundation and the concrete gas chamber foundation.

He used the gas chamber frequently for insurance fraud, him and his father. So between that smell and the natural bowling alley smell of grease and smoke from cigarette smoking patrons, the bodies wouldn't smell so much to be noticed. Especially with Lyme.

The list of the 36 isn't the men who were in the gas chamber with Bobby. Those were his friends. His friends that for one day came to back to life to be with him. To help him do what he thought was the bravest thing anyone could do. Die.

36 lives that broke my heart and his. And Blue/Byron who was spelling it as Brian, took in under his wing to help when they needed it most.

And they all have met my twin sister whom died in June of 2019.

And they all knew and watched over Bobby. As best they could.

Bobby didn't know. He says "I thought they were real"

They are. Ghosts have cell phones, too. And they work just like ours.

All those 36 are buried in that clay sand between the bowling alley and the gas chamber. And Bobby provided a list of all those children.

They were brutally sexualized and beaten. I talked about one time of my young friend whom kept me company after Denise had killed my grandfather, he kept me from drinking bleach in attempts to kill myself, which for some reason never worked.

Alex had told me want he had done to this little boy and threatened to do it to me. And I was going crazy wondering if he had hurt a child. I was listening to megadeth and pacing my carpet. Very energized and ready to fight and I kept wondering "but was it even true?"

And I heard a little voice strained. Sounded like he'd been choked to death and he said "hi, well ill tell you?"

And I asked if he could because his voice sounded to strained and I asked if he was sick.

And he showed me the gocart strewn over Devins knees was his body (Devin was murdered shortly after high school graduation in a jail cell because he had been pulled over and injested all of his drugs immediately and it was far too much. We were in the same grade. 6th) and Dusty was standing along with Alex in the back.

And he said "not yet but I'm about to be, I don't know what they will do with my body, please help"

And so I put him back in his body and he grabbed the steering wheel and wrecked the gocart. He told me "that didn't help, they just start beating me"

So I yelled "help! I need help! I'm a little girl!" Into the tunnel and it echoed. Devin and Alex went off on the slide to find me. They drove the gocart up instead of using the down slide. Which was available a mile south.

So Dusty laid him in the back and drove to Belen and began to dig the hole for his body.

I brought him to life several times but Dusty kept grabbing him and holding him still while he dug "I'll just bury you alive, I'm not like those other too. You're too small for me to beat you"

He cried and said he wanted his mommy and I told him he was in luck. His mom would die too if he kept hanging around me. And a year or two later, she was brutally sodomized, raped and killed.

She is on the southern grave. In a pink tutu. Age two. His soulmate who was to be the mommy of his kids. Her name is Jaunargia Laquitazio Apujatu.

His parents and hers are still living. They need to contact Los Lunas Police Department and ask to speak with the police chief. So they may gather the remains. They would like to be buried together and I will apply financial assistance of the Community Welfare Department.

They would like to be buried in South Africa. They would like to go home where they're no longer slaves or mistreated due to the color of their skin.

It was 6 weeks before I even asked why they had done what they done to him. I already accepted people did bad things. I was about comforting him and talking to him and helping him not feel lost or abandoned or hurt. And sad.

He said "well because I'm black, duh"

I was shocked. I said "are you sure? How do you even know that your black?"

"Because I go to school (day care) and the teacher always goes "you're one of them black kids, be good or else""

I asked "well don't they have any other black kids in Minnesota?"

And he said no. It was like my school. Just two or three in each room.

He went to school with me and categorized me "different than other kids because other kids were happy and genuinely loved their parents"

He did alot of research.

He says he was "like a little lost sheep - black of course"

And he said I was most like the kids that abandoned him in the dirt, but nice of course and wanted to know why they were afraid of me and why I would make them stop if I knew what hid on behind closed doors.

That is when he met Byron. Because I only cried. And Byron told him the truth, that I was an orphan and my entire family either stolen or stolen and murdered and how Denise is bad. And how I had legal parents only.

He said that the other adopted kids he had found at least tried to like their parents that had adopted them

I said i did!

He said "but not really. Only lightly"

He said thathe found out that i saved all my love for my real parents and that was why I was different. That i didn't want anyone "fake" in my life. And he said it was a struggle to find that out.

He said he wondered for 8 months if he had been taken from a bad place to Hell where I was. Because he knew it certainly wasn't Heaven.

I told him "well its Earth! You certainly didn't go anywhere but down the street!" And I apologized for it being so bad but i did tell him I wanted to be his friend.

"Well I'm stuck here so well all I know to do is be okay, like you. Nothing more. Nothing less. Because i certainly am not happy without my true love"

I told him to see her, and he said he did but left her to sleep. And she went to sleep earlier than I. And he went back to her in the morning to wake her up so she could be happy.

But he said the happiest that he could feel wasn't happy at all. It was just surviving.

I told him he was one smart kid.

That made him feel good. Happy. It was and still is the truth.

So those 36 bodies were murdered brutally in filth by 6th and 7th grade boys. One per week. 76% are African American.

So it wasn't a mass suicide. It was simply the souls of those bodies coming back to life one more time to help a fellow injured soul find happiness in his death. It was a gift from the Gods and Heavens above.

Currently they are with their murderers and accomplises in the tunnels below the airport. And they are physically able as any grown adult in physical form and more capable than me being as damaged as my body is.

As they do not and cannot rest due to what those "children" did to them. They have peace.

RIP? I used to tell him... RIP little dude. And he would call me an old bitch. I would tell him "well its naptime!"

He forbade me to ever say it. He said "i will not rest until that scumbag is beneath the earth meeting his maker in the worst Hell i can imagine and all his friends, too, to boot!"

There is no rest for many. There are hundreds of spirits there. What we would call "poltergeist" as they have the ability to do things that no one else can -- be a ghost only and move things and be of physical form while still not having a body or someone being able to touch or see them.

Issaiak told me once "i ain't no Casper!"

And i laughed because I didn't want to call him dumb or throw it in his face that He was dead.

And then he told me everyday for 6 weeks. "I ain't no Casper but I guess ill play with you" we would read books or i would draw him pictures or he would ask me to mail a letter or card to his lovely.

And i did.

And it wasn't until he explained to me that people where he's been from had called white people Casper because of the KKK's outfits. I didn't realize he said it to category black between white.

And he told me that Minnesota was still segregated then and now in 2020 he tells me it still is. And it starts in the schools.

Defund the schools while y'all are defunding the police. The schools are the worst place for any child of color or not, but even worse for children of the darker skin.

I write this so you know that Bobby was royal. And so y'all know that you're waiting for a loved one from the dead, its gonna happen. First they must save us. They must save us.

Because they know we can't save them and we can't even save ourselves.

So id like my friends that i made after they were buried/brutally slain to be buried where they would like with a lovely large gothic tombstone taller than a man. Of marble and steel. With their names and BD and DOD. And you may add "little stars of Bethlehem" and please add "thank you" before the star part.

Then if Sugar Lane would be okay of it, the shirts the children of the man who owned it before the brother did, if there were a statue to be made of an eagle in a fire... Like on their shirts and a list of those that have lain there beginning in 1992. I think that would be really nice. I hear the sister/daughter and her husband are very wonderful people and their shirts were just about perfect to make a memorial with.

I am sorry their building burned. But i want them to know that Bobby chose it not because he knew they were buried there but because he knew of the abductions of children and the human trafficking that occurred there at Sugar Lane Bowl.

And he wants it to stop. The pain for children. Kidnappings and brutal assaults and he wants me to stop crying. And he knew the building was damaged beyond repair. But its because it was the HQ for child abductions in the 1960s through 1970s and beginning in 1980s for sexual assaults and kidnapping for sexual predators whom bought the children then in the 1990s, a site to pick up random individuals by human traffickers for the sex rings where people were forced to have sex with each other and paying customers.

She knows she's nothing like her brother nor her father and that is because she was stolen from her childhood home as well.

I hope she gets all the help She and her family needs. And I hope that they're doing just fine and well. And we can use the Community Welfare Department funds to pay her insurance deductible if Bobby didn't make financial assistance arrangements and if they allow a memorial statue then the funds will pay for that as well.

A nice large Garden like walls and roof made to do karate outdoors with solar panels to create heat and cool air can also be arranged. Nature doesn't grow well out here so something natural and hopefully in the future something will grow joyously in the soil to make it like a true Garden.

I would think any town of Bethlehem would need a Garden of Eden. Wood flooring and wooden walls shaped like tree trunks and branches which come over and hug each other. Like Tondre Road. But wooden. Maybe some concrete. Then vines grow to fill in the spaces. Natural light filtering between the faux branches and also spotlights for nightime.

A small snacking area of tree stumps and a little fridge that had fairies around it like magic.

A rounded glass for the north and south if enclosing is necessary. Glass that can slide to the east and west.

And a large playground with trees overhead for shade and premium lighting like the Becker street has. Beautiful street lamps to enlighten the park.

And a state of the art security system so no one ever gets hurt at that location again.

Bobby knew I would give back his money, only using what I needed. I know Bobby needs to do this. Not for punishment. Because his heart is so protective and loving and forgiving.

And if they could forgive him, he would like to pay.

He left me 90% of every thing he owns. All his cash. His houses. Cars. Trucks. In 2008 I promised if "life were reoccurring" if reincarnation existed and he somehow found me and had all the proof i needed, i would give him back 75% of what he left me.

He asked me "what proof"

I told him "my heart will know"

"So you don't know you're just telling me that you're willing to? Don't worry about it. I can just make more. Or go on welfare. That would be fun. Here tie my shoe"

I pulled his laces on his boots the way id seen him do for many days and tied it up tight. He asked me why I had. Why i had gotten on the floor and tied his boot.

I said "because i could"

He said he had only Asked because his back was hurting and i had teased him the day before about it being such a struggle he had to rest. A couple of days later he did buy sandals as i had recommended when I teased him which he wore with socks.

Big nerd.

Anyway my accountant will get with accountants and figure out how to help their karate business really get kicking it..

And what those BNSF railroaders really need is a nice local low priced general store close to the train depot. And I think they would know just the place. It just needs a little over haul.

Like some graffiti bodega of a small city. Or a little market with the rounded windows of the Little Hondrous Mexican place. Double panes and glazed to keep the air in cool or the air in comfortable warm. Some solar paneling and some better lighting. And of course registers and counters and shelving. Some meats and breads and some homemade food to go. A small deli/kitchen and a real dine counter in the back. Like the Mexican market in the old Blockbuster in Los Lunas. But instead of Mexican because Pete's makes amazing chile rellanos and good food, some country food. Like okra and collard greens and mac and tuna casserole and some old fashioned picnic food. May be even sell some picnic baskets to go.

That place on Becker. The entire Avenue feels so alive. So different than any other street,I used go just cry when i would drive in that area after moving here to New Mexico.

Until today i did not remember where those bodies were buried. I got in many fights there on Becker. I've had to hide and shield and run and tree says they gave me aid one night when I got really wounded and I was crying in my hiding place.

And so to pay back their kindness. I offer them ideas and a willingness to help fund. A small percent.

That night in February 1994 it was so cold and unexpected. Texas was so warm and I was so angry i had forgot my coat. I was just in a tank top and jeans. Dusty had broken my neck. Killed me dead. So my mommy woke me and told me to hide up against the bowling alley and i argued in a loud whisper "this place is BAD! I need to run and find some place else!"

And the sister/daughter and her then boyfriend had came out with the trash and i hid in the dark from the light and she said "oh you know what? Im going to smoke. Don't wait up"

And she confessed to me he beat her. I told her "just uh... A few minutes. Let me fix my neck and here uhh ill help you"

"Here use this" she handed me a broken pin hidden behind the air conditioner. She just placed it on top. "When you're ready. Ill leave the door open for you"

She knew what i was doing. Trying to save those kids. And she told me "you feel like I feel. He beats me, too. If you ever need help, just let me know"

And i told her i would help her. She helped me hide the body in a dummy waiter. I healed him 3 days later. While I stood next to him, she was scared. Didn't know what to do because he would stink. So i held the pin, healed him and let him out. "You need to leave here and never come back"

I beat him once a week. I couldn't best Dusty or 3 on one but I could beat him and i did, after 3 months he left. Alive. Never has she seen him again.

I did though. He moved into my neighbourhood in Texas. And i had him killed then. But Dusty took him to the hospital and had him put in a medical coma. He was executed this morning in the gas chamber. He had a glass eye. Because I hit him so hard with a baseball bat that his eyeball popped out. They couldn't reattach it.

I saw him a couple of years ago. About 5 years ago. He looked at me from his truck while I was in mine. And I got scared. I was so scared for days. I had to leave my house with my daughter after trying to sleep under her bed because of my heart condition, it wouldn't calm down and I needed sleep and I was a royal mess and I spent 3 nights in a hotel in Albuquerque. Because I couldn't settle the fear he caused me in my own home.

I'm not scared of him now. I've built myself up against him. But he was terrifyingly scary.

Now knowing I had to save her and not understanding why she couldn't do it herself but just accepting it. Only understanding that Dusty whipped me. Now I know the intimidation he gave her.

His twin is still alive and is a POS. But he just died and I'm glad someone finally listened.

His name isn't listed with the 36. Nor are the other 30 with him. They don't deserve recognition. Only tattle to tell that horrible people have left and the world is a bit safer.

They were in an adjacent gas chamber, different than the 37.

Anyway we all know she's a good lady and i think we can help her out on old Becker. Tree drew the architecture of what I said and can deliver it to her and her husband for consult. He's just emailed it. He's said.

Its been a long day for many of us.

Again i thank the many fire fighters I hope a ladder and slide of a fire truck like photographed this morning is included. Something sustainable and something elegant and mature.

I'm a hero

But I also need heros

So thank you to all that have been one.

To me, especially but also to others

I've spoken about 36 children and young adults that were smaller and weaker. Ones no one in,the world were able to save.

No one. Not one person. No one. Not even me.

And Lord knows i tried and I died doing it.

7.12.2020 ended the nightmares of so many. Bodies have been found and can be put in a home of their choice.

That is one of the best gifts from anyone and that came from Bobby and our two friends that ran out when told to.

Bobby could not had done it without those 36 dead supporting him.

Always do be careful of the dead. Many like to have friends. In Okmulgee at Dripping Springs there's a woman on the dock area in the camping section. She's so strong and she always always tries to get people to drown to be with her. But they always leave her she says. She's just a 3 year old girl. She does a magical lure and all that she can. Everything but mean. She's scary because she's so tempting. 835 people she's gotten to play but she's only drowned 8. In 462 years. Little like her that panicked that they forgot how to swim. I am terrified to go on that dock. In that water i will not swim. She's too sweet. I'm always too tired. So be careful.

This was different with Bobby. He didn't know that they were dead. And he claims they certainly didn't seem like it.

I believe him. But i also know its true.

They were dead. Dead nearly 30 years.

I forgot what started this post. But I'm done now. My back hurts and I'm tired.

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myauralove-blog · 7 years

Text

Me.

1. Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid- No money, no responsibilities, not having a heart lol 2. What was your favorite musical group when you were a kid? Spice Gallsss 3. When was the first time that you had alcohol? year 10, 15 years old 4. What is your worst dating experience? hahahah year 8, RB. or JW 5. What is the craziest thing you have ever done? punched a police officer in front of 200 people and got held in a cell for 6 hours.. 6. Name one thing that not many people know about you. I’m actually very clever literacy wise. I love to read! I would love to be a writer/editor/journo 7. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? Kindness. That I changed someones life for the better. 8. Do you have any phobias? Spiders >:( 9. Name three countries you would like to visit. Italy, UK, Asia 10. If your house was on fire and you could grab only 3 things before leaving, what would they be? My dog! Photos, Phone 11. Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets? yesyesyesyes 12. Do you believe in the paranormal? yes shut up now im scared 13. What would be your dream job? Getting paid to travel/vlog, writer, english teacher

14. If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be? lifetime supply of money, to have children, to have my family safe and happy forever

15. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? hahaha umm? Zoe? Love that name

16. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? Hawaii 17. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. Spend time with each of the people I love most, laugh alot and take loads of pictures 18. What crazy activities do you dream of trying someday? none :/ Is travelling classified as crazy activities?

19. If you could go on a road trip with any person (dead or alive), who would you choose and where would you go? My mum/sister

20. Any tattoos or pierced body parts? 2, 5 21. What’s your favorite color? Green 22. What is your favorite flower? Sunflower 23. What is on your bedside table? dont have one 24. What was your best Halloween costume for Halloween? cat lol 25. If you could be any cartoon character, who would you be? none? 26. Are you a morning or night person? both 27. Name a singer whose voice you can’t stand. Mariah Carey 28. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? I wouldnt 29. What do you remember about your high school formal? bad bad memories. ditching all of my mates at the after party to chase a boy to his ex’s house and then walking home alone with a bottle of vodka, getting allllll the way home and smashing the bottle....... 30. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas! 31. Have you ever been mentioned in a newspaper? Yes 32. Have you ever gone skinny dipping or streaking? no 33. What body part do you get caught staring at? face, bum lol 34. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? both 35. What is your most treasured possession? photos, jewellery 36. Adult Beverage of choice? cocktails! 37. What is your favorite food? Pasta 38. Can you fake any accents? indian, british, new Zealander 39. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes, smile 40. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? anal hahhahahhahhahah 41. If you had to live under the sea what kind of an animal would you be? seal 42. Most hated chore on the household chore list? dishes 43. In life who has had the most influence on you? mum, dad, sister 44. What do you like best about yourself? eye colours, wrists hahahha, personality 45. If you could be one kind of beer which one would you be and why? yuck none 46. What extremely difficult life situation have you overcome and how did you do it? heartache, being ripped off 10k, being bullied by friends, anxiety, moving to alice springs, being undermined at work, living with a bipolar person and being away from my family. lol i didnt overcome it 47. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? omg getting my period during sex with my crush hahahhaha he was disgusted 48. If you could choose, how would you want to die? old age in my sleep please 49. If you could change the world what would you do? create awareness for womans rights, stop child abuse, stop violence against men and women, get rid of guns, world peace! 50. Name 1 thing you love about being an adult - noone having control of my money but its also very very bad 51. Which would you rather have, $50,000 or true love? the money for sure aahahha 52. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? yess 53. What song always makes you happy when you hear it? ilysb lany, anything by blackbear 54. Who’s the funniest person you know? mum/sister 55. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? mum 56. How big is your bed? queen 57. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? sunset 58. What’s the first thing you thought about this morning? work ugh 59. Are you afraid of the dark? kinda 60. 3 things you cannot live without? social media, money and family 61. Favorite song? ilysb lany, flex your way out, anything by ruth b, 62. Are you a giver or a taker? both 63. Virgin or not? nah 64. Are you very sarcastic? super 65. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no lol what a rebel 66. Which you favorite icecream flavor? choc mint or rum raisen 67. What was the last drink you drank? orange cordial 68. Do you prefer hugs or kisses? both are nice 69. Have you ever gone cow-tipping? what 70. Do you like to sing in the shower? somedays 71. What’s your favorite midnight snack? anything food is my life lol 72. Whats your favorite movie? life as a house, the choice, the best of me 73. Have you ever gambled at a casino? badly but yes 74. Have you thrown up in a car? hahahah yuh 75. Do you scream on roller coasters? very loudly 76. When did you go to your first funeral? 2010 77. Where did you go on your first airplane ride? cairns, 2 yrs old 78. Whats your favorite season? winter 79. Who was your imaginary friend? fairies named magenta, indigo and sapphire 80. Date someone older or younger? either but only 3 years max 81. If you don’t know the words to a song do you improvise? hahaha yep 82. What turns you on about the opposite sex? half smiles, confidence but not too cocky, good kisser, smells good, neck kisses, when they tuck your hair behind you ear, when they are a combo of sexy and cute, sense of humour!!!!! rough but in a way where they know what they’re going with the flow not where they’re straight out shoving their dick in your throat.. 83. What turns you off about the opposite sex? bad smell, hair pulling, vile dirty talk, overly cocky, treats you like meat, forces it, no intimacy, no foreplay 84. What scares you the most and why? not being able to have kids, losing family, having nothing to show for my hard work, never succeeding in my dreams 85. What do you do in your free time? read, watch tv or youtube, listen to music, social media, babysit, spend time with friends or dad, drink 86. Name 8 things in life you find most beautiful? nature, genuine kind beautiful people, genuine happy souls, love, art (music, paintings, movies, books), being gifted with family, animals, big 100% real, cheesy smiles, 87. Tell me about something you really regret? 10k to my ex. moving back to alice 88. Tell me about your favorite book, magazine or comic? you by caroline kepnes. go read it 89. Something or someone you miss the most from childhood? having brothers who were just children not adults, being free, making memories with my sister everyday 90. Your best friend dies, what would you do? considering thats my sister id die 91. What is your zodiac sign? aries 92. Name a couple of T.V. shows you watch a lot? friends, neighbours, ex on the beach, the middle, modern fam WAITING FOR RIVERDALE TO COME BACK SO I WATCH EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING ATM 93. Name a movie or movies you can watch over and over? best of me, rom coms. sad movies, anything adam sandler, old classic 90′s disneys movies, christmas holiday movies 94. Would you ever go skinny dipping? yes 95. Have you been told you can sing well more than once? like never 96. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? so so so many 97. What were you doing the last time you really had a good laugh? at work with the kids, today with dad at the star track angry small man 98. What is your happiest childhood memory? alligator in our backyard (imaginary) at dixon road with Eb. Think i was 4 or so? Playing pirate boats with blake and zane at mimosa, I was 7 or so, dads old house and all the cool computer games we used to have 99. If you could take a one month trip anywhere and money was not a consideration, where would you go? Europe!!!! 100. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? no swearing, no moving towns

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wterfall · 7 years

Text

manifestation of my emo phase 6-7 years ago thru fb notes

The word Normal. Got bored while in summer school math.

June 22, 2011 at 8:18am

I hate the word normal. Not cause I'm one of those people that wants to be different from everyone else. I also never understood why people strive to be so damn different, like there is a natural different and then there are those people that try extra hard. No one has to.! We're all different. No one is just like you. Which is why I hate the word normal. Everyone is different. Nothing can really be considered a general normal because everyone looks at things differently.

#boredoutofmycynicalmind.

June 22, 2011 at 8:43pm

Tell me all your fears. Everything that makes you shake. Trust me with your love. Let me lie and tell you this is fate. Will yourself to believe. Get heartbroken inbetween. Sorry it had to come to this, we haven't even had our first kiss. Fall hard, get fucked over even harder. XOXO.

doesn't have a title.....

May 24, 2010 at 3:46pm

I will deal with this depression the only way I know how. Alone. Always I have felt so alone and being there for others is away to release self issues. I don’t believe I’m an unhappy person just a little down at times. But even that sentence I can not fully trust in, for I can’t distinguish when I’m truly happy to when I’m putting up a front to please others. I don’t feel cared for and when I make mistakes people only look on the surface. I feel too and not considering that is just insane. I have been hurt too many times to explain my deep distrust in people and I’ve never have had I a real friend that I could relate to and share everything with. I try finding that in extreme like for boys but they disappoint every time and I can’t blame them, for they don’t own me anything. It’s their nature. Girls have their opinions but it’s never helpful. I want to talk about things that hurt or cause happiness until I can’t talk about it anymore.

A person like me shouldn’t be alone with their thoughts, but there is no one to share them with. People try and act like they understand but no one ever does. I don’t have low self esteem I just need a friend that can listen and respond to what I say. I just want to chill with good people. Don’t get me wrong, I have good friends but they are just not like me. I know that you can’t see eye to eye with everyone and that opposites attract but you have got to understand the kind of person I am. I like to help others and make them believe in themselves. I try to do the right things in life. I don’t enjoy being disrespected by adults but it’s what comes with life. Properly questioning is how I deal with that. I am not fucking miserable because that’s just too strong of a word. I have my moments of genuine happiness usually due to someone I care for saying something nice to me. Material things make me happy too but not as much as a great conversation with someone I love. Music is an outlet, for the louder and more meaningful, the more I can relate and forget my own issues. I love falling in love with a great song and I wouldn’t give two shits if everyone hated it at least I like it. That’s another thing I pride myself on being independent, but that turns into loneliness real quick. I don’t want to straight up tell anyone these things I’d rather them figure it out on their own, but the odds of that happening are low, for I don’t talk to anyone enough or show them the real me long enough for them to notice there is something wrong with me. This entire note is filled with “buts” just like my life so far. One big excuse. I refuse to reread this so peace. Sorry for typos.

a note explaining my notes (you should read before reading the notes:)

May 24, 2010 at 3:43pm

Well if you know me I like to explain myself a lot so this note makes sense. I am making a note explaining my notes. Yes, this is happening.

One, I rather not call these poems but burst of myself.

Second, if you’re tagged, it doesn’t mean that it’s about you or even pertains to you. I just want you to see it and tell me your thoughts.

Third, I write these so I don’t go insane.

In conclusion, I love anyone who bothers to read them and don’t hesitate to tell me what your think about them. ANY CRITICISM WILL HELP ME(:

simple much.

May 24, 2010 at 3:49pm

Life is good Didn’t you know? As I sit here in fallen snow I write Your name with frozen finger tips And as I finalize My masterpiece with a senseless kiss How I wish I could see you now And hold you close; I would never drown In My own relent I apologize with all my soul But You turn out of sight In my mind You drift away But in My heart You will always stay.

you.

May 24, 2010 at 3:48pm

My mind does not have a state. Thinking back to meeting you was fate I smile here A hug there But in my mind, you were everywhere Rest doesn’t come easy to those who constantly think about how to better themselves And in bettering themselves they have enhanced the people around them From you I have learned how to look at things in a different sense A sense of optimism and elation You value life in a way I could never comprehend, for your life has not always been as promised as mine or others. Life is life and we should just be happy we’re here to endure it And along the way

We’ll find someone that makes us feel as if the darkness is the most pleasant thing we’ve ever experienced, for our other is there standing right beside us. I think highly of you You’re all that I hoped to find in every single way.

i hate having nothing to say.

June 15, 2010 at 10:57am

Continuously hurt and battered Your feelings have been Shattered Shatter on to I What feelings you have left inside Listening is what is expected But in listening there is an expected response One of which doesn't promise joy Joy In loving words But hate in words of love Love cast on to your Life of broken dreams Dreams that never fade to reality Realistic thoughts fade with consciousness and then there are no Feelings to be torn or trampled on.

guilt.

May 24, 2010 at 3:50pm

As you walk away from me my stomach churnsAnd my mind Burns For I feel I have hurt you in everyway Just hold my hand and say Its okay Because all I want is to be Your friend Without Your consent I am not content Your words inspire Me through the day Words of a true friend One that Cares Shares And Dares on an everlasting friendship But it’s taken me far too long to become aware of Your feelings I have crossed the line And now I know We Are soon to part.

Why.?

September 4, 2010 at 12:17pm

People don't like me. I know that. I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't bother me. They say things like "you're fat, you're ugly, you're a poser, you're a nigger, you're a wanna be scene/emo, you think you are white," I'm bothered by these judgements because I don't understand why they care. Why do you care if I'm fat.? Why do you care if I'm ugly.? Why do you care if I'm a poser.? Just why does anyone care.? If you hate me so much, why do you care to take the time out of your day to tell me things that you think about me.? If you don't like me at all, why are you even thinking about me.? It just doesn't make sense. Why care.? You can say "I don't care at all, you're just a bitch." ,but why does it matter if I'm a bitch or anything else you can say about me.? Well, this is life. This is highschool. This is what I feel. I'm going to conutine to be myself. The people that hate me, won't stop, but I just want them to ask themselves, why they take the effort to hold hate in their heart and mind towards me.

Alot, alot, aaaaalot. <3

August 1, 2011 at 8:59pm

Can I let you know you're all I think about.? Can I let you know that you're the best thing in my life.? Can I let you know that you're mine and I'm never letting go.? You've got this way with words. You've this way with yourself. You've got this way with me and without you, I'd be incomplete. I wanna make you smile for a long while. If you get tired of me, I'll understand 'cause I'm really boring. I'm just lucky to be with you.

Reasons I Love You (There will be more added)

August 18, 2011 at

Ha.

January 1, 2011 at 3:09pm

Sweet as this past Summer's air when you aren't focused on your wants.

your touch

August 3, 2010 at 12:11am

Depends on how I'm feeling.

it's as if the nerves in your hands have adjusted to my body

When i want you to touch me gentle

You do

When I'd rather not breath and feel pain

You make sure that happens

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