#there’s a lot that I need to ignore to make some of the things on Ats make sense

[lee-laurent]

T'es ben chix - Luke Hughes

Summary: Amélie decides Luke Hughes is the cutest boy she's ever seen, but she doesn't know how to tell him.

wc: 7k

content: fluff, a little bit of angst, kissing, panic attacks, anxiety, quick make out session, a couple dirty jokes, long distance relationship (let me know if missed anything!)

notes: don't let the title fool you, this fic is still in english!! i realized the other day while doing schoolwork that i don't have a fic that discusses being french-canadian. so... here we are! this fic was super fun for me to write and i incorporated experiences and challenges i have faced over the last few years. a lot of the mistakes that amélie makes are mistakes that i have made or that other french speakers make when speaking english bc sometimes we try to directly translate things and it just does not work lol i reallly hope you guys enjoy!!! and to any other francophones out there: let's be friends!!

just finished writing and it's about 5k words more than i was planning

Amélie honestly wasn't the biggest fan of going out back home, so going out in a place where she could barely speak the language was even worse. But a few of the girls she'd befriended had convinced her it was a good way to get to know more people and to let loose. She sat with the three other girls at a small table, her fingers drumming against the glass of her cocktail.

"Yeah, what did you think of that guy that presented today, Am?"

"Hm? He did... good."

"No, silly. Did you think he was cute?"

"Oh, um, he's... how do you say... not my type?"

"Not your type? Then what is your type, Am?"

"Probably that guy she's been making googly eyes at all night," one of the others teased.

"Who? The tall, curly haired guy in the corner?"

Amélie blushed, sipping at the alcohol for courage.

"Ooo, she's totally into him!"

"You should go talk to him, Am!"

"No... I tell you... no American boys," she waved them off.

"Well, that's too bad. Cause it looks like he's comin' over here. We'll be at the bar if you need us."

"Guys..."

But it was too late, the other girls were already up and headed towards the bar.

"Calisse," she mumbled, trying to ignore the tall figure approaching her table.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked. She looked up at him, her lips pursed. He had the same curly hair and boyish smile that her friends had been teasing her about. She really hadn't planned on talking to anyone tonight, let alone any boys. The girls knew her rule: no falling for any boys while she was in America.

"Uh... sure," she replied, gesturing to the empty chairs across from her.

He smiled, sitting down casually, rubbing his palms on his pants. "I'm Luke. I, uh, I thought I'd come introduce myslef since we, uh, made eye contact so many times."

Amélie bit her lip, nodding as he spoke. She barely knew enough English to follow what her friends were saying, and now she had to talk to some random guy at this bar she didn't even want to be at. "I, uh, I am Amélie."

"Amélie? That's a really pretty name. Did I, uh, did I say it right? Amélie?"

Her cheeks flushed, her eyes flickering down to her drink. "Yeah... that is right. Thank you." Her fingers tightened around the glass, trying to think of something to say next, but everything just came in French.

Luke could sense her hesitation, suddenly becoming way more nervous about coming over. Maybe it had been stupid. Maybe he was making her feel uncomfortable. "I just thought... I don't know. You seemed nice. Do you, uh, want to talk, or...?"

She met his gaze, taking a deep breath. He was trying and he seemed nice, like he really wanted to talk to her. "I... my English, it is not very good," her accent thickening as she spoke. "It is... hard for me."

Luke nodded, leaning forward slightly. He had teammates that didn't speak English as their first language, so he kind of knew what to expect. "That's fine. I'm sure it's better than my French. That is your first language, right? French? Sorry, I just assumed cause your name-"

"Yes, French," she cut him off, giggling at his rambling.

"I can barely say anything in French, so you've already got me beat."

His attempt to make her feel better worked... a little. "It is easier... to write. But speaking... more pressure, I forget the words lots."

"I get that. But we can just... talk slowly."

She sipped at her drink, waiting for him to continue.

"So, what brings you to Jersey? Not a lot of French people here."

"Exchange... at Rutgers. I am from Québec. Saguenay. But I come here... and I work on my English."

"That's super cool. It's awesome that you're pushing yourself to get better. I, uh, I went to Umich for a bit, but-"

"Umich?"

"Oh, right. University of Michigan. I lived in Michigan before I lived here."

"You move here because..."

"For hockey. I play hockey."

"Oh... that's cool. I like Les Canadiens. You play in the LNH?"

"The NHL? Yeah, I do. You like hockey?"

"Everyone in Québec likes hockey. Very popular."

"But you didn't know who I was," Luke teased.

"Only like Les Canadiens, sorry," she shrugged.

"Well, that's fair, I guess. The Habs are pretty big in Québec, huh?"

"Yes! My family... all big fan." She felt comfortable talking about her family, talking about home, the things she liked. Her dad watched every Habs game on TV and sometimes he'd even drive down to Montréal for a weekend to see them play.

"My family loves hockey too. Everyone plays. My mom, my dad, me, and both my brothers. It's like in our blood... or something."

"They play for... the same team?"

"One of them does. Jack, he plays with me. My other brother, Quinn, he plays in Vancouver," Luke tried to keep it casual, not wanting it to seem like he was bragging.

"Ah! The Canucks!"

"See, you know a bit about other teams," he teased.

"Shhh," she giggled. "Your family... they seem very... what's the word... talented."

"Guess you could say that."

She took another sip of her drink, her mind buzzing with questions to ask, but none of them coming to her in English. She wanted to ask more about his brothers, about how he started playing hockey, but her mouth just couldn't keep up with her brain. She also didn't want to come off as rude or obsessed with him because of his title, so she just nodded.

"You don't have to worry, you know. I'm not judging you," Luke comforted. "So, what do you do when you're learning English or watching the Habs? You got any other hobbies?"

"I like to... read. And bake... when I have time."

"Reading and baking," Luke mused. "What do you bake?"

"Everything," she giggled. "Tarte au sucre is my preferred. My mom... she always bakes with me."

"Tarte au sucre? What's that? Sugar pie?" Luke's eyes lit up. "You'll have to make me that one day. I've never had it."

"Maybe. You will have to see."

"Challenge accepted."

Amélie went to respond, but her phone buzzing stopped her. It was her friends calling, probably ready to head on to another bar. She didn't want her conversation with Luke to end, but she knew she couldn't stay there all night.

"I have to go. My friends... waiting," she sighed.

Luke's face fell a little but he nodded. "Yeah, I get it. But I, uh, this was fun."

"Me too."

There was silence for a little, neither of them wanting to be the first to say goodbye. "You should give me... your phone number. So you can try my tarte au sucre."

"Sounds like a plan," Luke said, handing his phone over for her. She typed in her name and phone number, adding a '<3' next to Amélie.

"Text me," she giggled, waving goodbye as she joined the other girls at the bar. Luke watched as the four of them started talking amongst themselves quickly, giggling as Amélie told them about her conversation with the hockey player.

He finally stood up, making his way back over to the table where his teammates were sat. Curtis raised an eyebrow at him, a smirk plastered on his face.

"Well, how'd it go, Romeo?" He leaned forward, failing to conceal his grin.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Good, actually. Really good."

Nico raised his pint, "Told you. You just had to go for it."

"So... what's next?" Curtis nudged him. "You ask for her number?"

Luke nodded, trying to play it cool. "Yeah, we'll probably meet up again."

"Probably?"

"Okay, fine. Yeah, we'll see each other again. I'm going to try her sugar pie she was talking about."

"Sugar pie? Is that what we're calling it nowadays?" Nico teased, causing the whole table to erupt in laughter.

Luke shook his head, letting the teasing slide. His mind was too focused on the girl with a French accent and promises of baking him pie. He had to see her again.

~~

Luke found texting Amélie way easier than he'd imagined. She wasn't lying when she said her writing was better than her speaking. Her texts barely ever had mistakes, in fact sometimes they were worded better than his.

They texted back and forth constantly, which earned Luke some teasing from his colleagues. In writing, Amélie was much more confident, returning his flirting with practiced ease. Her personality really shone through in a way it hadn't at the bar. She'd occasionally crack jokes, usually about how he didn't know any French and that she'd have to teach him. Their conversations flowed, talking about their days, sharing stories, discussing the schoolwork that Amélie had, and sometimes sharing pictures of their meals. Although Jack did most of Luke's cooking, he'd never admit that to the girl.

You have to come and try my tarte au sucre soon! Only if you're brave enough though ;)

Luke grinned at his phone, his fingers furiously typing back a reply.

Oh, I'm brave enough. Just let me know when, and I'll be there.

I will. Maybe next week? I need to make sure it's perfect first.

Deal.

~~

Amélie paced her apartment, making sure that everything was in order before Luke came over. She was even more nervous than she had been in the bar. She really wanted things to go well. They had decided to label the event as their first date, and although a bit informal, she was still shitting herself.

The pie was sitting on her kitchen island, untouched. She didn't want to eat any of it until Luke was there to eat it with her. She was worried he'd get in trouble because it wasn't part of his meal plan for work, but he had reassured it multiple times that it wasn't a big deal if he had a little pie.

Just as she was about to rearrange her throw pillows for the third time, there was a knock at her door. She froze mid-step, wiping her hands on her jeans as she made her way to the door.

It was just a pie. And it was just Luke. Nothing to be too worried about.

She hesitated for a moment before she pulled the door open, tilting her head back to look up at Luke. He was standing there in a Devils hoodie and some track pants, a baseball cap covering his curls. He looked relaxed, his hands tucked in the pocket of his hoodie. Amélie hated how nonchalant he looked in comparison to her.

"Hey," he greeted. "I brough my appetite, as promised."

"Good. I hope you are ready," she joked, stepping out of the way to let him in. He pulled off his shoes, taking in her cozy apartment. He laughed when his eyes landed on the big Québec flag hung behind her couch.

"I'm sure it'll be amazing. I'm looking forward to it, don't worry."

She nodded, though her nerves didn't disappear. She led him into the kitchen where the pie sat waiting. The smell of it filled the small space, warm and sweet.

"Wow, looks good, Am. Guess you weren't kidding about being a good baker."

"It's like you with hockey. My talent," she giggled, blushing as their eyes met.

"I don't know. Your baking skills may be miles ahead of my hockey skills."

"Don't lie. Let's see if it tastes as good as the smell," she grabbed a knife, finally cutting the pie into pieces. She placed a generous slice in front of Luke, taking in how comfortable he looked in the situation. She really admired how easygoing he was compared to her. It was their first date, but his demeanor made it seem like they'd been seeing each other for months. Meanwhile, her heart hadn't stopped racing since she opened the door minutes before.

Luke picked up his fork, flashing her a grin before taking his first bite. His eyes widened and he let out a pleased hum, "Holy shit, this is so good."

"You like it?"

"Are you kidding? This is like the best dessert I've ever had... don't tell my mom I said that. But really, Amélie, you've ruined all other pies for me. Can I take some home to show Jack?"

"Of course! I'm glad you like it. Is my mom's recipe."

"You should probably teach me how to make this, so I don't have to beg you every time I want some."

"I wouldn't mind," she giggled, taking a bite of her own slice. The taste reminded her of home and she suddenly felt a lot less nervous about messing up her English in front of Luke. They continued to eat their pie as they talked, shifting the conversation to more personal topics, wanting to know everything about each other.

Luke told stories about growing up with his brothers, sharing embarrassing moments from their childhoods and the occasional hockey-related mishap. Amélie found herself laughing more than she had since she'd arrived in America, her body filling with warmth.

"And that's how Jack ended up chipping his tooth. Our mom was furious, but Quinn and I thought it was hilarious," Luke explained, shaking his head at the memory.

She laughed, her shoulders shaking. "You and your brother... troublemakers," she teased, resting her chin on her hand as she listened to him talk. God, she could listen to Luke talk for hours. His accent was the cutest thing she'd ever heard and his smile curved up more on one side than the other, almost like a smirk. He was so perfect.

"Yeah, we were. Still are, I guess. But what about you? You got any fun stories about your family?"

"One time my dad, he take us to Montréal for a Habs game. And my older brother he had... he liked one girl he saw. But she was anglophone, no French. He goes up to her and he tries to talk English. But it was soooo bad. Even worse than me. He only knew maybe like three word. I think he said like 'Hey, you pretty, drink?' and she looked at him like he was... insane! He... he panicked and ran away. We bullied him for years after. Our dad, he will still talk about it at dinner sometime."

"That's brutal," Luke laughed. "Glad our first conversation didn't go like that."

"I am just better than him."

Luke shook his head, flashing his lopsided smile that made Amélie swoon. "Clearly. You've got the charm, no doubt about it."

"Maybe a little. But still I get nervous. When you arrive, I think maybe that I would die."

"You hid it well. I didn't even notice. I was the nervous one."

"You? Nervous?" she raised an eyebrow, placing her fork between her lips .

"Yeah, you were... well you are, like the prettiest girl I've ever met," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Didn't want to mess it up."

"Is that a joke? You did not... mess up. I like talking with you."

"I like talking with you too, Amélie"

~~

It was their fourth date and they were back at Amélie's apartment. Luke was sprawled out on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table as he playfully scrolled through one of Amélie's French-to-English learning apps.

"Come on, give me a word," Luke teased, turning to look at the girl sitting beside him with her legs tucked under her.

"Alright. Alright. Um... try... 'papillon.'"

Luke squinted, trying his hardest to translate it. "Papillon," he reapted slowly. "Uh... sounds like pasta, maybe? Wait, no, wait... um, balloon?"

She let a burst of laughter, learning back against the arm of the couch. "Non! It's butterfly!"

He groaned dramatically, throwing his head back in mock anguish. "Butterfly?! That doesn't even sound like butterfly! What?!"

"You are needing more practice," she giggled, comfortly placing a hand on his thigh.

Luke's eyes widened at her touch, but he couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, clearly I need a lot more practice. You might have to become my full-time tutor."

Amélie smiled, her fingers lingering on his thigh, sending a warmth through both of them. They'd been spending more and more time together, and things were less awkward, but still full of nervousness. The banter between them was easy, but there was an ever-growing tension gnawing at them both.

Luke reached for a throw pillow next to him, lightly tossing it at her. "Give me another one. I swear I'll get it this time."

She swatted the pillow away, but her focus had moved on from French. The space between them had slowly been shrinking and she had just noticed how close they were. She tilted her head, her eyes flickering up to meet Luke's. "I think... maybe you are better at other things than French."

Luke's grin faltered, his breath catching in his throat at her new tone. He glanced down at her hand still resting on his thigh, then back at her face, then back to her hand again. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Like... this."

Before he could question what she meant, she leaned in, her lips brushing his, testing the waters. The kiss was soft, hesitant, but the second their lips connected, everything they'd been holding back snapped into place.

Luke's hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer. The kiss deepened quickly, no longer hesitant, but instead filled with the feelings they'd been dancing around for weeks. Amélie sighed against his mouth, her hands sliding up to his chest, gripping his shirt in his fists. Luke groaned softly, the sound muffled by her lips.

Their kisses turned hungrier, more urgent, as the tension in the room built. Luke shifted, gently pushing Amélie back against the couch as he leaned over her, his body pressing against hers as their kisses grew sloppier. Her hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, and Luke's hands slid up to cradle her face, his thumb brushing her cheek as the kiss deepened.

Neither of them wanted to pull away, not wanting to be the first to end the kiss. Luke realized he couldn't hold his breath any longer. He gasped for air before kissing her again, harder this time, his lips moving with more urgency than before. Amélie let out a soft, breathless moan in reponse.

They pulled away again, their foreheads resting against each other as they tried to catch their breath. Luke brushed a strand of her hair, that had gotten stuck between them, out of her face. His eyes were still half-closed as he whispered, "I've wanted to kiss you for so long."

Amélie smiled, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to fill her lungs with air. She looked up at him, her lips still tingling. "Me too. I... I did not expect it to feel... like that."

"Good or bad?"

"Good," she whispered, her fingers tracing the back of his neck before pulling him in again, her lips finding his once more. There was no hesitation this time, just unfiltered desire as they gave in to the kiss.

~~

"Where you goin'?" Jack asked, pausing his video game as he heard Luke head for the door. He turned around, noticing his brother wearing his Michigan backpack. "And why do you have a backpack?"

"Amélie's place. I'm spending the night."

"Damn, Lukey boy's finally getting laid."

"Shut up, Jack... there's no confirmation that that's what happening. She just asked if I wanted to sleep over."

Jack smirked, leaning back on the couch with a knowing look. "Uh-huh, sure. You don't pack a bag just to sleep over, bro."

Luke rolled his eyes, adjusting the straps of his bag. "It's not like that. We're just hanging out, maybe watching a movie or something."

Jack snorted. "Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, lover boy. But just in case, be safe."

"It's not like that," Luke groaned, grabbing his keys off the counter, trying to escape Jack's teasing.

"I'm just saying! Good luck, bud!"

Luke mumbled to himself as he stepped into the hallway, heading for the elevator to the parking garage. His heart was racing more than usual, not just because of Jack's teasing but because tonight did feel different. Spending a night together was a big step in their relationship, especially since they weren't officially official yet.

They hadn't even discussed labels yet, and although they were very close, there was an unspoken worry of figuring out where things were heading. Luke really, really liked her, but he didn't want to rush anything. If Amélie wanted to take things slow, then he would take things slow.

He sat in his car, getting ready to leave when his phone buzzed.

Just picked out a movie. Hope you like rom-coms ;)

Only if we watch it in French so I can practice

Deal.

When he pulled up to her building, he practically leaped out of the car, taking his backpack with him. He knocked on her door, his heart in his throat.

Just go with the flow. No pressure

Amélie giggled when she opened the front door, dressed in one of Luke's Devils hoodies and a pair of shorts he couldn't see from under the large sweatshirt.

"Hey. You look cute," he leaned down to kiss her.

"Hey! Missed you."

"It's only been three days," he laughed, allowing her to wrap her arms around his waist, propping her chin on his chest. "You ready for my horrible French?"

"Ready for anything," she giggled as he ran a hand through her hair.

They stood in the doorway for a few moments more, before she grasped his hand and pulled him into the living room. They settled on the couch, a blanket thrown over their entwined legs.

"Am, I've been thinking..." his thumb brushing lightly against her thigh. "I don't want to overthink it anymore than I already have, but... we've been spending lots of time together. And I really like you."

"I like you too, Luke. A lot."

"Good. Because... I want this to be official. I mean, us. I want us to be official. I don't wanna be just 'hanging out' or 'seeing where things go' anymore. I want you to be my girlfriend." His voice softened at the end, his heart out on a silver platter just for her.

"You really want that?" she gushed.

Luke nodded, "Yeah. I want you. I want... us."

"I want that too," she smiled, shuffling impossibly closer to him, pecking his lips.

Luke pulled her back in for a deeper kiss, relief flooding his body. When they pulled apart, Amélie rested her forehead against his, her fingers gripping the front of his hoodie.

"So, it is official?" she whispered.

"Officially official. You're my girlfriend now."

She kissed him again, laughing into his mouth. "Well... now that we have... figured that out. You have French to practice... boyfriend."

"Let's get started then, girlfriend."

~~

"So... when do I get to meet her?" Jack grinned, knocking Luke's shoulder.

"Oh, um, I can ask her."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "You can ask her?" he teased. "What, you haven't mentioned me?"

Luke sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I have, Jack. I just... didn't think you'd be so excited."

"Dude, of course I'm excited! My little brother has a girlfriend now! And you know I've gotta approve, see if she's good for you. Duh."

"She's not a test subject, Jack. I'm not bringing her so you can interrogate her."

Jack snickered, loving how flustered his brother was getting. "Relax, I'll be nice. In fact, bring her out with us and the guys this weekend. Some of the other girlfriends will be there."

"I can ask her. Just... don't be weird about it. She get's nervous."

"Me? Weird about it? Never. I'm charming."

"That's what I'm worried about."

"Come on, it'll be fun. She'll get to meet everyone, and you know the guys will love her. Plus, if she can survive a night out with us, she's a keeper."

"Look, I'll ask. But I know she's been busy with schoolwork. I'll ask her tonight. But seriously, Jack, don't freak her out. Please."

"Scout's honour, man. I'll be on my best behaviour."

"You're not a-- never mind. I'll let you know what she says."

~~

Luke laid next to Amélie in her bed, his arm draped over her waist. She was scrolling through TikTok, laughing at French words he didn't know yet. He pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder, peeking at the screen where some girl was speaking rapid French while doing her make up.

"Hey, Am."

"Hmm?"

"So... Jack and some of the guys are going out this weekend, and a few of the girlfriends will be there too," he paused, thinking over his next words. "Jack was, uh, wondering when he could meet you. He kind of suggested you come along."

She blinked, "Meet... all of your friends? This weekend?"

"No pressure! If you're too busy with school, I totally get it. I just thought it might be fun. Only if you want to, of course," Luke quickly added.

She bit her lip, thinking it over, and Luke could tell she was weighing her options. "I'm nervous. I would... like to meet Jack. To be... part of your world."

He pulled her body closer to his, pressing more kisses to her shoulder. "You're already part of my world, Am. And trust me, Jack's been bugging me about meeting you since our first date. He's... well, he's Jack. But he means well."

"Okay. I will come. But if Jack, he makes me feel awkward, you owe me a very good dinner."

Luke laughed, "Deal. And don't worry, I'll be there the whole time. Plus, survivng Jack means you can survive anything."

~~

"C'est très cute, non?" Amélie asked, showing her outfit off to Luke.

"You look like a millon bucks, baby," he replied, leaning down to kiss her.

"What?"

"It's... it's a saying."

She tilted her head slightly, repeating the words back to herself. "A million... bucks."

Luke thought her accent made it all the more adorable. "It means you look beautiful. Like super, super beautiful."

"English says, they are so strange. First you tell me it rains cats and dogs... now I look like I am money. You explain me all of these sometimes, yes?"

"Of course, baby. But I mean it, you looks amazing."

"Thanks, Lu. We should go?"

"If we have to," Luke pouted, leaning down to give her another kiss.

~~

Amélie gripped the straps of her purse so tightly that her knuckles were white. She had never felt so nervous in her life, not even on their first date. She had so many people to impress tonight and probably less than half the words they had in their vocabularies.

Luke was quick to notice her anxiety. She usually walked with so much confidence, but her posture was slumped and her lip was held between her teeth. "Hey, you okay?"

She nodded, but her choked voice betrayed her. "I... I don't know if I can do this."

"You'll be fine, Am," he whispered, brushing his thumb over her cheek. "Jack's going to love you, I can promise you that. And it's just a few of the guys--nothing big. And hey, some of them aren't even native English speakers themselves."

Her eyes were still full of uncertainty, her fingers busying themselves by picking at the skin around her nails. "But maybe I will say something wrong. Or they ask me things, and I do not understand them? Or they will all laugh at me."

"You've been doing so well with your English, love. And if you're ever feeling stuck, just squeeze my hand and I'll come to your rescue."

The bar was pretty empty for the most part, just a few tables of friends talking and sharing drinks. In the back corner, Jack was sitting with a few of the other guys and their better halves.

"There they are!" Jack cheered as soon as he saw them approaching, standing up to greet his brother as if he hadn't seen him in weeks. His tone was loud and confident, and Amélie could feel every set of eyes at the table move towards her and Luke.

Luke gave his brother a quick bro-hug before turning to his girlfriend. "Jack, this is Amélie. Am, this is my brother, Jack."

Amélie felt like all the moisture in her mouth had disappeared, her hand gripping Luke's with a vice-like strength. She opened her mouth to speak, but all her words got stuck. "I, uh, I... hi."

"Nice to meet you, Amélie," Jack said. "Luke's told me loads about you."

She gave him a tight lipped smile, her mind scrambling to find a response, but nothing came. She felt like the weight of everyone's expectations were holding her down. She wanted to wow everyone with perfect English, but all she could do was stand there, frozen.

"She, uh, she's a little nervous," Luke interjected. "Amélie's from Québec, she's here in Jersey to learn English. But her French is like the most impressive shit ever."

"No worries. We're just happy you're here," Nico spoke up.

Amélie forced a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. She sat down beside Luke, her hand still gripping his with immense force. The conversation around the table picked back up, but she remained quiet.

The guys were easygoing, laughing and joking with each other, and the other girlfriends seemed just as relaxed. The more they spoke though, the harder it became for her to follow. She could pick up on bits and pieces of what was going on, but she couldn't seem to form a complete sentence in her head.

"So, how do you like Jersey so far?" one of the other girlfriends, Lexi, asked with a warm smile.

"It... it's very different. But I... I like it," she replied, her eyes not leaving Luke's hand in her lap.

"She thinks back home is wayyyy prettier. Right, babe?" Luke helped to direct her.

"Yes. Québec is very beautiful."

"So what brought you here?" Jack asked, desperately wanting to know more about the girl that had stolen his brother's heart. "School?"

She bit her lip, trying her best to think of how to reply in English. "Yes... I.... study at Rutgers. Exchange."

"That's awesome. What're you studying?"

Her mind went completely blank. She'd even rehearsed answering that exact question, but now, with everyone looking at her, the words were gone. Her hand tightened around Luke's again, taking a sip of water to clear her throat.

"She's studying communications and media. But the point of her exchange is to work on her English skills."

"That's sick," Jack nodded along.

The conversation around her continued, a few questions being tossed her way but her responses were usually just a few words, the gaps being filled in by Luke. The group eventually moved on to a story that Nico was telling, and Amélie used the shift of attention to shrink into herself further. She let Luke rest his hand on her bouncing knee in an attempt to calm her nerves, but his touch felt foreign in the situation.

After what felt like hours, but had most likely only been half an hour, she leaned close to Luke, whispering in his ear. "Je vais aux toilettes." She stood up before he could respond, scurrying off to the bathroom.

Jack shot Luke a curious glance, but he just shrugged, trying to mask his own worry.

Amélie slipped into the bathroom, pressing her hands against the sink as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She felt like she was suffocating, her eyes burning with unshed tears. She hated feeling like an outsider, not being able to connect with Luke's world outside of her.

She wiped under her eyes, praying that her mascara didn't run. She didn't want anyone to know she'd been crying in the bathroom. She just wanted to be like the other girls at the table--relaxed and confident, going with the flow of the conversation.

With one last deep breath, she made her way back to the table. Luke looked up at her as she approached. He could tell something was off.

"Everything okay?"

She just nodded, falling back into her silence at the table. She laughed when everyone else laughed, smiling politely when someone made a remark towards her. Luke had never seen her so quiet in his life, not even on the first day that they met. By the time everyone had left the bar, her anxiety was so bad she thought she might puke.

Luke opened the car door for her, and she slid in, staring blankly out the window. The silence between them was heavy. Luke could feel it too, his fingers tapping nervously on the steering wheel.

"Am, what's wrong? You've been quiet all night. You barely said a thing."

The tears that she had been fighting so hard to keep at bay finally spilled out. "I... I feel so stupid. I-I couldn't even talk to them. I couldn't even... act normal."

He reached out, placing a hand on her thigh. His heart clenched at her words. "You're not stupid, Am. You're doing amazing. You're learning a whole new language, that's huge."

"But I had to have you help on everything. I could... not even answer Jack's questions. They normally think... I'm dumb. Not good for you." She wiped at her eyes, frustrated with herself for crying.

"Amélie, baby. No one thinks you're dumb. And you are more than good enough for me--don't you ever doubt that. Jack loved meeting you. Everyone did. I could tell. They don't care if you need some help speaking English. Hell, some of those guys could use the help speaking English."

"I wanted... to be better. To show I can do this. But I feel...lost."

"You don't have to show anyone that you can do anything. Not to me, not to Jack, not to anyone. I love you for--"

"You love me?"

"Of course I do, Am. I... I didn't want to admit it like this. But... I am so in love with you, Amélie."

"I love you too, Luke. Sorry if I... embarrass you tonight."

"You could never embarrass me, Am. Never ever."

"I-"

"Nope, that's enough out of you. Let's go back to yours and watch that stupid cop show you like."

"Mensonges?"

"If that's what it's called, then yes."

"I love you, Lu."

"I love you too, Am."

~~

"I don't know, Jack. She was so nervous last time..."

"But last time there were other people there too. Just tell her you've got the place to yourself for the night and then I'll walk in a couple hours later and be like 'Oh! Sorry, my plans got cancelled.' And then we can all hangout," Jack suggested.

"I'm not going to lie to her. I'll just ask if she wants to spend the night."

"Come on, Rusty! You know I'm just trying to help her relax around me. You're making it sound like a big deal. It's not! She's your girlfriend, and I want to get to know her. Plus, I'll make it fun! I'm good with people."

"I appreciate the thought, Jack. But I want her to feel comfortable, not tricked. So I'll just ask her if she wants to come over and spend the night. No tricks."

"Fine, fine. Let me know what she says."

"I will. Just... don't be an idiot."

~~

Amélie followed Luke into his apartment, her backpack thrown over his shoulder. She looked around, noticing how painfully obvious it was that two men lived there.

"I'm just gonna put your bag in my room. You wanna go make yourself comfortable on the couch?"

"Sure."

She sat down, curling her legs under herself, glancing around the living room. She picked up the remote off the coffee table, fiddling with while she waited for Luke.

"You good?"

"Yeah. Just... taking in. It is very... you."

"What, you mean messy?"

She giggled, then tension in her shoulders disappearing. "Maybe... un peu."

"Hey, it's organized chaos, baby. I know where everything is. Well... most of the time."

"I like it. Feels... comfortable. Like you."

"That's all I want, babe. For you to be comfortable."

"Where's Jack?"

"Probably in his room. Why? Wanna talk with him?"

Amélie quickly shook her head, her eyes widening. "No, no... just wonder. I don't want to... bother him."

"You're not bothering him. He's probably playing video games or doing some stupid shit. He'll come out here eventually."

The last time she'd been around Jack, she hadn't been able to shake her nerves. Tonight, she was determined to make a better impression, even if she still felt like puking.

Luke gently nudged her with his elbow. "Hey, you're good, Am. Jack's chill. You don't have to be nervous."

"I know... just... want him to like me."

"He already likes you," Luke reassured, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "He wouldn't shut up about how cool you were after the last time."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I wouldn't lie to you, silly."

"Love you, Lu."

"Love you too," he leaned in to kiss her when footsteps pulled them apart.

"Aww, did I interrupt a moment?" Jack's teasing voice came from the doorway.

"Relax, Jack. We were just talking... about you."

"Oh yeah?" Jack pushed himself off the wall, making his way to the couch. "All good things, I hope."

"Duh," Luke squeezed Amélie's hand, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. "Amélie was just asking what you were up to."

"Probably nothing interesting compared to you lovebirds. Was talking to Trevor--can't let Luke get ahead of me in the whole having a life department."

She tried to think of a quick response to his joke, but came up with nothing she deemed funny enough.

"Luke tells me you like studying here cause it's different. How so?"

"Um, everything... is feeling bigger here. The city, the campus. And obviously... English. There is like... zero English in my town. We use some words... but not lots."

"Well, seems like you're doing great. Don't stress it. Plus you've got this guy," he gestured to Luke, "to help you out, right?"

She blushed, "Yes, Lu is... super."

Luke grinned, leaning in and whispering, "Told you he likes you."

~~

"I don't know how I'm gonna survive without you, Am," Luke admitted, wiping the tears from his face. His usually calm, relaxed demeanor was gone, replaced with a raw vulnerability.

Amélie had told herself she wasn't going to cry, but seeing Luke cry made that impossible. Her tears had started as soon as his had. "You will, Lu. You are so strong. And... I will not be gone forever."

He shook his head, intertwining their fingers. "I know, but... shit's gonna feel so different without you here. I'm used to having you here all the time. And now I won't see you until summer. I don't know how to do that."

"You'll have Jack, the guys, your family. I'm just... a plane away. We will FaceTime, and before you know... I am back. And I will meet Quinn... and your parents."

Luke rested his head in her lap, letting her run her fingers through his hair. She could feel his tears soaking the fabric of her jeans. "I'm gonna miss you so fucking much, Am."

"I'll miss you too, Lu. So, so much."

They stayed like that for a long time, just wrapped in each other's embraces. Neither of them wanted to let go. Neither of them wanted to admit how hard the next few months would be. They just wanted to stay together... forever.

~~

Amélie was sitting at her desk, her phone propped up against her water bottle as Luke's face filled the screen. His hair was a mess and his eyes drooping. She could tell he had just gotten home from practice.

"Hey, beautiful," he greeted.

"Hey, you," she replied, resting her chin on her hand. "How was practice?"

"Exhausting," he groaned. "But seeing your face makes it better."

Amélie blushed, biting her lip as she smiled. Before she could respond, she heard her brothers' voices coming from down the hall.

"Ah, c'est qui, Amélie?" (who is it, Amélie?)

"Son chum?" the other laughed. (her boyfriend?)

"Ahhh, mais Luke, t'es ben chix." (Ahhh, but Luke, you're so hot.)

"Ferme ta gueule!" Amélie shouted. (Shut your mouth!)

Luke burst out laughing at the look on his girlfriend's face. "What're they saying?"

She huffed, rolling her eyes. "They're being idiots. Teasing me about you."

"Teasing, huh?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "What did they say? Come on, tell me."

She sighed, getting closer to the camera with a small smirk. "They said you're... how would that translate.... that you're 'hot.'"

"Oh, did they know? You must have good pictures of me hanging up then, huh?"

"They're just being annoying. They think it's funny to tease me because I love an American."

"Well, tell them I appreciate the compliment. And tell them I say 'hi'," he teased.

Amélie shook her head but shouted, "Luke dit bonjour!"

From the hallway, her brothers responded with exaggerated greetings in their broken English, making the couple laugh.

"They're something else, huh? I can't wait to meet them one day."

"They'll probably want you to ask Cole for free Habs tickets. But... in a few weeks, I'll be back and I'll get to meet all of your family."

Luke's eye lit up at the thought. "I know! I've been counting down the days, baby. I can't wait for you to be here again!"

"Me neither. Excited to meet Quinn and your parents."

"Yeah, my mom's super excited to meet you!"

"I'm a little nervous though."

"Don't be! They are gonna love you so much, Am!"

"I love you, Lu."

"I love you more, Amélie. Only a few more weeks, then we'll be together again. I can't wait."

"You promise?"

"I promise. And I'm gonna spoil you so much. Just you, me, and the lake."

"Can't wait."

[thebestandworstdayofjune]

I love the way you write Logan, it's so comforting! Can't wait to see more of your work, it's lovely💗

Idk if this would be your thing so feel free to ignore obviously!

How do you think Logan's dynamic would be with a reader having intense intimacy issues, to the point where they struggle to even think about doing anything more than make out with him? I really haven't found any fic like that and I think that you would a concept like that more than justice

I do see him having some intimacy issues himself (traumatized wet cat💀)

this is so sweet, thank you so much! My brain immediately supplied a list of head canons, I hope that you enjoy <3

~ So I am thinking about Logan from the original trilogy for these in particular ~ He definitely has some intimacy issues, more so on the emotional intimacy side than physical intimacy ~That is, until he meets you. You're a professor at the school, and while he can tell you love the young mutants with a large part of your heart, you remain physically distant from them. When the Youngers ones reach for a hug, you meet them instead with a fist bump or a high five. Never cruel, but always setting your boundary. ~The first time you catch him noticing your habit, you expect him to roll his eyes, or hit you with a judgy side eye. Instead, he quirks his head and resumes what he had previously been doing. ~Eventually, the two of you start spending a lot more time together. He will nudge a cup of coffee your way, and ask after you when you have a headache. He never encroaches on your space, despite being quite touchy with the other faculty.

~You spend a week working up the courage to confront him about it, strategizing the best way to ask for the reassurance you want but have trouble asking for. You expect him to blow you off, but when you knock on his door, he ushers you inside and lets you choose where to sit in the room, choosing his seat to be close enough to show he is invested but far enough away for your comfort. It isn't even a conscious thought for him, it's natural. ~You fumble through your question, doing your best to explain your line of thinking, before eventually just spitting out "do you hate me?" ~He is so shocked that he doesn't know what to say for a few seconds, which only makes your anxiety feel worse. ~He takes a few seconds, collecting his thoughts, and then you can see the typical Logan smirk start sparkling in his eye again. "Sweetheart, it's a little hard to hate the person you're acting a fool over". Your eyes practically bug out of your skull, and he chuckles to himself. He is twitching in his seat, and you can tell he is trying his best to not gather you up in his arms. ~You extend a hand out to him, palm upturned. He takes it instantly. He raises your entwined hands halfway towards his mouth, before meeting your eyes and waiting for your reaction. ~You nod, holding your breath and he drops a kiss on the back of your hand, before adjusting so that he can kiss your palm as well. ~When he hears your heartbeat stutter, he is quick to hold your hand again, resting against his knee. He confirms that you feel the same way, insistent on getting verbal confirmation. Your face feels like it is on fire, but you reply in the affirmative. "We are going to take this as slow as you need. I... I care about you so much, and your comfort always comes before anything else." ~You feel a few tears well up, and he moves to wipe them away as they begin to fall. Again, he pauses before actually making contact with your face, waiting for your gentle nod. ~From that day on, you are even more attached at the hip than before. Logan loves knowing that you are with him for more than his body, and he is constantly making sure that you know how much he values you. ~Overall, I just imagine him being very sweet and understanding and taking it as slow as you need. He is protective of you when you meet new people, often coming in between you and others who are not as considerate as he thinks they should be. Definitely sends his protective instincts into a bit of an overdrive, but you also appreciate having the scary dog privilege when you are out in public as well. People are definitely giving you a wider berth than you are used to. You always feels safe and taken care of with him, which is exactly how he wants it to be

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Lady Vampire (with a brooklyn accent): I gotta tell ya, bein' immortal and a vampire has it's perks, but the one issue is that sex with the opposite gender gets borin'. You can only have so many men inside ya before they feel the same. I've lived a long time too. The amounts of guys who've been like 'I'm the one that can make you feel like a natural woman' and then don't have left me more hungry than me on a blood lust. Then I met up with this woman in the 60s who was a repressed lesbian because 1860s. Took her home, next thing I know we're sweaty and layin' in the bed-

Spoiler: Why are you telling us this?

Vampire: I'm gettin' there. I'm into many genders, but women's is what I enjoy. They soft, they listen, we both like cuddlin', but they're still a challenge.

The vampire looks directly at Spoiler as Red Robin and Red Hood step away a few inches.

Vampire: It is actually hard givin' them an orgasm. I thought it was me. My point is, I don't want any of the mens you're with. I want you blondie. You got the look I like, reminds me of this old pirate back in 1865 and your body is bangin'. What do you say, one night of passion?

Spoiler remains silent as her entire face turns pink unsure of what to say.

Vampire: I'll release your friends from my thrall if you do.

Red Hood: Spoiler, go on over to her. Have that night of passion.

Vampire: I've got vanilla scented candles.

Hood: That's your favorite.

Spoiler let's out an angry growl directed to Hood. Red Robin, standing next to the two, chuckles slowly which grows more and more until he falls on the floor in hysterics.

Vampire: What- What did I say?

Spoiler: I- Y- I need a moment- you said a lot things that I'm trying to process. Is anyone warm? I am gonna just walk for a second.

Spoiler walks away.

Red Hood (chuckling): Are you thinking about it?

Spoiler: Ignoring you!

Red Robin, on the ground laughing, starts snorting as well.

Red Robin: Oh God, oh God, that was the- Oddly enough I agree with your thinking, but with men.

Vampire: Oh you're pan or bi?

Red Robin: Bi.

Vampire: Wow, good for you. Blondie, do it for your friend, he understands.

Hood: I'm on board with this as well. Spoiler, you can cross it off your bucket list.

Spoiler: I am not banging a vampire- Would you just let our friends go for a different reason! Have sex with one of them!

Vampire: Come on, I'm gentle. Won't even bite ya.

Spoiler: I am not banging a vampire! Man or woman, not happening!

Vampire: I swear, some of them are hard to win over.

Hood: Preaching to the choir. Give me a second.

Hood walks over to Spoiler and carries her back to the group.

Spoiler crosses her arms angrily.

Vampire: All right, all right, no sex. I respect the boundary. How about a kiss, no tongue, just lips.

Spoiler: I-

Hood: Nightwing is a vampire, do it for him.

Spoiler: Frick it, fine. Pucker up!

Vampire: Yes!

Five days later:

Dick: How were you able to defeat her again?

Stephanie: I stuck a dagger in her heart and nothing else!

Dick: Um okay.

[iid-smile]

difficult things

sakura, nirei, suo, sugishita, kaji

if you were dating them series

sakura hakura | feeling comfortable around you

it's extremely frustrating trying to get him to open up to you more. he feels the need to look tougher, to protect you more while telling others to back off, but he misses the sole purpose of the relationship; love. sakura avoids you more when you're dating, more than when the two of you were in the talking phase. might be from embarrassment, might be from hesitance. he doesn't say that you're his partner, but something along the lines of "i find them nice...", which makes no sense at all. everyone that sakura knows is nice to him (a few exceptions here and there), so does he really bunch you up with the rest of them?

nirei akihiko | getting over his insecurities

whenever he talks about himself, most times out of ten it's something negative. it doesn't matter how many times you reassure, comfort or encourage him, because nirei doesn't feel like he's good enough for you. it's not that he avoids you per se, but he hides, he puts you in the spotlight, but doesn't join alongside you, so you feel more lonely than anything. he can be early to dates, but he also skips them without telling you or with a poor excuse. it's genuinely off-putting how much he degrades and insults himself, to the point where you don't even know what to say to make him feel better.

suo hayato | saying the truth

suo is a natural pathological liar, as well as lying just to save face. you would never genuinely know if he's covering something behind his eyepatch or not, because he just doesn't want to tell you, injury or not. he'll joke, tease, do everything but tell you that perhaps he's just not comfortable with showing you. and if he did, you'd be totally okay with that. the way he thinks contradicts how he acts, and he picks out all of the things he doesn't like about you and can be so judgmental about it. if you ask, he won't say. one of his values is to keep up his facade, no matter how free or secure he feels around you. nobody knows the real him, except himself. he's loyal, but not honest.

sugishita kyotaro | admitting his mistakes

he loves and admires you to bits, but to be 'sorry' is a way of saying that he has done wrong to you, and he doesn't like that. not because he's narcissistic and petty, but because he doesn't want to believe that he's hurt you in some way. his way of an apology is silently lingering around you or staring at you until you eventually forgive him. at first, it's cute, but when this happens every time, even when it's a major issue, it makes you frustrated. sugishita finds it hard to talk, and communication isn't his strong point. the two of you could go for months in radio silence, and he won't explain anything to you soley because he doesn't know what to say. he doesn't like to be guilty around those he thinks highly of.

kaji ren | ignorance and bluntness

kaji hasn't yet realised that you think and function completely in a different way to him. he's not used to having to soften up, lighten up his tone and be more gentle. in fact, he doesn't realise that somebody loves should be somebody he treats in a special way and not like the rest. kaji should be adjusting to you, just how you adjusted for him. he talks to you as if you're stupid or as if you lack common sense, and he unknowingly belittles you for every mistake you make, more when you hurt or injure yourself in some way. his affection shows through actions, but still it's not anything sweet, not anything you'd expect from a boyfriend. a lot of the time, he manages to look over you and your needs, and needs a reminder from someone else to check up on you.

[wheneverfeasible]

Historical omegaverse au idea(s) I may never write but by the gods do I want to

I’m gonna be honest. I’ve been reading a couple historical omegaverse fics (specifically here and here) and I also watched The Nun II recently and idk. Ignoring the demon/horror aspect, I just kind of got caught with the idea of rural boarding school teacher and the lowly grounds worker there. With o!Steve as the teacher and a!Eddie as the groundskeeper of course.

~

Picture it. Steve has “adopted” Max (I know, I know, it’s usually Dustin, but since Claudia isn’t going to be in the final season, I just can’t stand to get rid of her and Max makes the most sense for needing a new guardian) but according to paperwork to keep Max safe, they have lied and said that Max is biologically his. Perhaps him taking her in was one of the reasons why his high society family has disowned him and now he’s a vaguely destitute teacher that he only got the job of because his friend Robin (who teaches foreign language obvi) vouched for him. His being a teacher there allows Max to attend classes, though some of the snootier kids are assholes about it.

Anyways, Eddie works the grounds with his uncle, both also quite destitute but they have a good thing going there, though they are always treated poorly by the rich children there. The exceptions are of course the Wheeler child, the Sinclair children, and the Henderson child, as well as their friends the Hopper-Byers children who are there on scholarship. This is the group that welcomes Max into their fold eventually too.

Eddie of course thinks Steve is a bit too snooty when he first lays eyes on him, but then quickly realizes Steve isn’t like that at all. (Steve meanwhile thinks Eddie is uncouth until realizing he’s actually quite gentle and sensitive.) As well, if he has a child at such a young age, Eddie realizes that Steve must have had her probably around his first heat right after presenting. This is a belief everyone holds, and one Steve and Max actively encourages to prevent them taking Max away from him, but it does lead to them both being look down upon frequently and has ruined all prospects for Steve.

There’s obviously lots of pining, plenty of misunderstandings, and lots of Robin and Wayne and Max watching these two idiots dance around each other and face palming. Robin is of course the only one who knows the truth about Max because Robin knew Steve before he was disowned, and knew about Max’s past too. Maybe, just maybe, Steve rescued her from an abusive household. A violent stepfather, an abusive stepbrother, an alcoholic mother…maybe Steve helps her escape and leaves his past life behind.

MAYBE the reason Steve and Max crossed paths was because the Hargroves and the Harringtons were in talks of an arranged match between a!Billy and Steve. Steve didn’t want it, saw how miserable Max was, and basically kidnapped Max (with her consent) and ran away with her to give them both a chance at a better life.

Which is why, after Eddie and Steve finally start to make their moves, the climax of the story angst begins where Billy has found them (maybe Neil is dead idk and Billy took over managing the family), claiming Steve belongs to him and offering to drop all kidnapping charges if he returns quietly with Max. Eddie learns the truth about Max’s parentage then, and Steve’s past, and the whole lot of them come up with a solution that I don’t know what it is yet.

Maybe Steve sacrifices himself and agrees to return and mate with Billy only if Max can stay with her new friends and Robin and for the Hargroves forget about her existence. Billy would eventually accept this. Maybe while Steve and Billy are set to return home, Eddie rushes to prevent their departure and challenges Billy to a duel or something.

Blah blah blah Eddie wins of course and Steve and Max get to stay and Steve officially adopts her, and he and Eddie finally get together and knock boots. And Steve and Eddie love Max as their own and eventually give her a younger sibling which she then fears they’ll love more than her and worries Steve will regret adopting her but obviously that’s not true and Steve and Eddie make sure she knows that she is theirs in all ways. Their first child, no matter what.

Anyways yeah. Maybe one day I’ll do the research necessary for this. Also when I have time to devote myself to this story in its whole. Definitely deserves at least 50k I feel. And I sadly just don’t have time for that right now.

THAT BEING SAID.

I also really adore the idea of teacher Eddie and groundskeeper Steve, because I love reversing tropes and I love making Steve work with his hands in a lowly position, especially if he used to be from a “proper” family, but then the plot would definitely change some. Steve could honestly remain as the omega in this situation too, or switch it up and make him the alpha. Probably get rid of the parent aspect, unless perhaps it’s post-divorce Susan who has become an alcoholic and Eddie did actually officially adopt her because they had been neighbors or something before he moved for a better life.

OR Steve is the teacher but the above about Max and Eddie is still true and she can only attend the school because he’s the groundskeeper which still causes issues with the popular rich kids. And Steve is the teacher who takes a shining to her. Not sure what the main drama aspect would be then. Maybe Eddie is framed for something and is being sent away from the school or arrested or something, and Steve & Co. prove his innocence.

~

Idk. So many options. My issue with aus is that I also come up with aus of aus because I can’t decide how most I would love things to go which then makes it difficult to actually write anything 😂

-

If anyone else wants to use any of these ideas in the meantime, feel free! Just tag credit and link the fic so I can read it!

-

Hostage tags: @derythcorvinus @katyawriteswhump

[lightlycareless]

I’m sorry if this is a weird question. It’s totally cool if you just delete this if it is but when faced with another guy bothering Y/N, would he be the type to punch a guy out, intimidate them, or talk out of it(y’know that suave way of staking claim so to speak) :3

Hello anon!!!

Ah yes, the ask I thought I hallucinated by some strange reason 🤣 like, I believed I already posted the answer to this but I didn't???

Either way, this gave me the perfect opportunity to do a bit of angst :) a little "Naoya and Y/N realize being together isn't all rainbows"

warnings: highschool au, kind of. slight mentions of violence. you really worry for naoya. he has yet a lot to learn about being a good boyfriend. it's the early stages of the relationship.

Enjoy!

Honestly, this moment… is something everyone around you awaited.

I mean, Naoya is brash, stubborn, rude, selfish, nobody gets along with him, doesn't have that many friends, so on and so forth.

Thus, it was only natural that he'd eventually rub someone the wrong way…

Or be rubbed the wrong way.

Your boyfriend, as stated, was a threat by himself, but when you were added into the mix, it's like all his foul traits doubled. Not to you, of course not, never to the only other person he considered worthy of him.

But towards those foolish enough to think they still had a chance with you after making his claim. To defy the heir of the Zen'in is to have a death wish—wasn’t that common knowledge by now?!

Yet, to those ignorant of this fact, he is nothing but patient enough to remind.

“—Naoya!”

It happened all so quickly. One moment you were being pestered by a faceless student, insisting you’d leave your boyfriend for someone better, a bit more grounded, implying himself to be that person…

And the other, you were crying, heart thundering and hands trembling as the horrifying sight of Naoya beating that same guy unfolded before you.

The fight did not go without retaliation of course, your instigator never intending to take your boyfriend’s punches without retaliation, which lead you to shriek when a particular sharp blow landed against Naoya’s left side of his face, prompting you to run to their side and do all in your power to separate them—

To no avail.

“Stop it, Naoya!” You cried, helplessly trying to get them away from one another; but you never could compare to his strength. Less when he was determined to continue so. “Please! St—stop! You're— you're going to— you’re going to kill him!”

“What is going on??” Nanami exclaims. It wasn't his intention to get near the commotion, always one to avoid trouble whenever possible, but upon hearing your frightened voice, he ran as fast as possible to your aid. “Y/N!”

“Ken—Kento—! You— You have to stop them!” You wailed, frantically tugging at this arm and evoking a sense of urgency. “They're going to—they’re going to kill each other if you don’t!”

The ones that ultimately manage to separate the two are Suguru and Satoru, just before the teachers stepped in, but not enough to prevent them from being reprimanded by them, taking them to the principal’s office to discuss their rightful punishment—regardless of who provoked who.

“After my family sues you, you're fucking dead!”

“Ha! Do you not know who I am?! I'd like to see you try!” Naoya guffaws.

“Stop it already!” Yaga exclaimed “You're already knees deep in trouble, the last thing you both need is to be expelled!”

Ultimately, the threat of being away from you is enough to keep Naoya willing. One would think that he'd worry more about his family and the issue this small disturbance would bring, but truth is that he's gotten out of worse predicaments: him getting into an altercation with a nobody is not something that would prevent the elders, or him, from sleeping.

Though your prolonged silence, the cold judgment imposed by your piercing eyes, and the subtle annoyance displayed in your touch would; feeling tiny for the first time in his life before you, even when you were so attentively tending to his wounds once dismissed.

“Why are you so quiet, princess? Don’t tell me I scared ya’?” Naoya begins, cutting through the awkward silence settling between the two with a teasing tone he hopes would make light of the situation—make you forget of the blood curling screams you let out when he was entangled with that irrelevant kid who’d more likely disappear tomorrow, and move on…

But oh, how wrong he’d be to choose that path. Make fun of your poor heart.

“What? Thought I wouldn’t win? You know me better than—”

“Is this what it is to you? A joke?” You sternly state, stopping tending his wounds and subsequently quieting Naoya up.

“A joke?” Naoya repeats. “A joke would be him thinking he could win against—"

“Seriously, Naoya?! Is that all you have to say?!” You cry, beginning to crack. “Why must you always take it a competitive thing??”

“Ah, so what was I supposed to do? Let him beat me??” Naoya countered.

“There you go again, taking my words out of context! I didn’t even say that!” you whined.

“Well, it’s not like you’ve given me much to work on, princess.” He scowls. “Why are you even so angry? If anything, I should be the one upset because I got hurt for you, and this is the thanks I get!”

“Oh, so it’s my fault now?!” you gasp, offended as tears began to form in the corners of your eyes. “Was I the one that wanted this—this fight to happen? Did I tell you I wanted to see you get hurt?!”

“It’s kind of expected, don’t you think?” He states, making your eyes go wide. “We’re sorcerers, we’re bound to get hurt—if you didn’t want that then maybe you should’ve considered a different career—

Or a different boyfriend.”

“Is that—is that what you’re going to go with?” you firmly ask, as if giving him one last time to reconsider his words…

Which he did after you set aside the first aid kit, standing up with all intentions of leaving the room that he realized how gravely he’d messed up, quicky to grab your arm and pull you back to him; and though the wounds of his fight made it hurt, more so since you struggled against him, he did not relent.

“Wait, Y/N, please—That came out wrong, I didn’t mean—”

“And what did you mean, Naoya?” you say, with a trembling voice that made his heart sting even more. He’s just gotten out of one altercation to walk right into another one—how delightful. “If it isn’t to mock me for worrying?!”

“No, I wasn’t.” Naoya says, tightening his hold on you, as much as he could anyways. He just… he just didn’t want you to leave, not like this. Not when he needed you the most. “I would never!”

You don’t respond, there wasn’t much to say when his words didn’t match his actions.

“…I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“But you did.” You responded, and now he was able to hear the tears that had begun to slide down your cheeks. “You… you got into that awful fight instead of letting him go and almost got yourself expelled—no, worse! Killed!”

“But it didn’t happen, you know? You… you called for help, and we stopped!”

“Because you wouldn’t listen!” You wept, turning around and taking a good look at his face. Naoya wishes you hadn’t, however, because seeing you cry just broke his heart into a million pieces. “Neither of you!”

“Y/N—”

“You were like… like an animal out there.” You added. “Nothing seemed to snap you out of trance, and I—I got so scared—!”

“I didn’t mean to scare you either.”

“Does it even matter? You said so yourself, this is what sorcerers are supposed to do.”

“No, you know what I meant—”

“No. I don’t. I really don’t know what you meant.”

…

…

…

“I did this to protect you.” Naoya quietly adds. “I just… got so angry seeing you being bothered by that idiot, that I… I needed to do something. I needed to get him away from you!”

“…Why can’t you understand this isn’t what I wanted?” You sniffle. “I didn’t want you to get hurt, no matter the reason why.”

“I know, I know you didn’t—”

“Then… why did you do it? What made you so angry, enough to beat him up and risk your career?”

The thought of being undeserving of you. Naoya concluded. Because his words had unwittingly struck a nerve, a thought he’s tried his hardest to push deep within the confines of his mind, but until he makes amends with himself, he’ll never be able to escape that fear.

The notion that perhaps there is someone better out there for you… and that person isn’t himself.

And after the way he’s made you cry, such bitter tears… perhaps that was the truth.

“I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you want.” Naoya quietly concludes, making your eyes widen once more. “So I will never hurt you again.”

“Naoya, that’s—that’s not what I want!” you gasp, heart clenching at the prospect of him leaving you. “Not at all!”

“What good of a boyfriend could I be if I all I do ends up hurting you?”

“And you think that leaving me wouldn’t do just that??” you fret. “That living a life without you won’t make me miserable?!”

“It seems I already do…”

“N—No! I don’t—I don’t want that! I—I can’t allow it!” you sob, immediately wrapping your arms around him. “I just got you… I don’t want to lo—lose you…!”

Now with tears in his eyes, Naoya tightly embraces you, pulling you as close as possible as he reassures your fears away.

“Princess…” Naoya breathes, cupping your face and making you look to him. “It’ll take a whole lot for me to ever leave you. Probably the end of the world—but you’ll never lose me, ever.”

“You don’t—you don’t know how awful it felt to not be able to do anything!” you confess. “I… I tried to get him off you but I—I couldn’t do it—I couldn’t protect you!”

“No, no, Y/N—That’s my job. I’m supposed to protect you, not the other way around.”

“But you—what about you? What if you need me? What am I supposed to do?”

“Leave all the heavy lifting to me, and you…” Naoya smiles, intertwining his hands with yours. “You can patch me up after, eh? Heal me up.”

“Nao—Naoya.” You sniffle, lips trembling as tears continued to flood your face. “Promise me you—promise me you’ll always be careful… please.”

“I promise.” He says, taking your hands to his lips and gently kissing your knuckles. “Though I doubt someone as talented as me might need to make such promises—it’s a given.”

“Don’t be silly…” you murmur, he chuckles. “As long as you’re a sorcerer, I’ll always worry…”

“Good thing I have my mochi to take care of me, hm? Have me in her thoughts while I’m away.” Naoya smiles.

“You better not come back too roughed up, then. Or I—Or I won’t be able to help much…”

“Not that I need much, your kisses are sufficient enough to make me feel much—ah, shit, princess?!” Naoya gasps, startled by the stinging sensation of the alcohol-soaked cotton pressed against his skin. “Should’ve given me a warning, at least!”

“I thought you only needed my kisses?” You gently tease, he frowns. “Sorry, I just needed to clean you up before you do anything else, you started bleeding again.”

“…Fine, I guess.” Naoya pouts, hissing whenever feeling the alcohol against his wounds.

“What will happen with… him, by the way?”

“I don’t know, he’s getting expelled I guess.” Naoya shrugs. “I’ll make it happen if not.”

“Naoya…”

“What? He was bothering you—think I’m going to let that slide? No one annoys my princess outside of me.”

“… Thank you, for protecting me, really.” You eventually murmur, putting away everything once done. You then lean forward, placing a chaste kiss over his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, little mochi.” Naoya smiles, kissing you once more. “My sweet damsel in distress, are you going to nurse me until I’m all better?”

“Don’t call me that—and do I have another choice?”

He snickers. “I guess not, but you wouldn’t want it any other way, would you?”

You smile.

“No, I guess not.”

…

…

…

“I wouldn’t mind if you dressed up as a nurse too, you know? Heard it helps for a faster recovery.”

“Don’t push it…

…

…

…

here, at least.”

Naoya smirks. Maybe he should get a bit roughed up once in a while.

Yes he'd beat up someone for you, naturally. let's not forget his go-to solution in grave situations is killing someone lol.

Anyways, I hope you liked this little something!! It's kind of refreshing to write the Naoya that has yet to learn how to approach you; like, I know I tend to write him perfect in certain aspects, but he was once a... brat, I guess haha. He doesn't know how to treat people, less the one he loves! We're bound to see more of this flawed Naoya very early in the relationship and I LOVE IT hehehe. I wonder what other stumbles I can write...?

Now, take care and hope to see you soon!!

[cakerybakery]

22,000+ words for From the Dust Anew (Adam’s designed is based on @inubaki ‘s prideful AU) and I’m real sick of writing Lilith. I need a bit of a palate cleanser so I’ll write a scene of succubus/incubus Adam.

Not sure how it would fit into the story, time line wise. It’s based on a currently deleted scene but I’m thinking about working it back in.

Warning for intersexed Adam

Leaning against the wall in the line, Adam didn’t feel like he stood out too much. He was kinda of average size for an incubus it seemed. Maybe even a little on the tall side.

He grinned and stood a little straighter.

Yeah. He was actually a little taller than most of the succubi, both he chicks and dudes. It wasn’t much but he was used to sinners towering over him. It was nice to be one of the tall ones for a change.

‘Ugh. Speaking of sinners.’ Adam thought watching from the corner of his eye as two lizard sinners catcalled and propositioned all the succubi in the line.

“Come on ladies. You don’t need to buy your lust, daddy has some for you right here.” He thrusted his hips at a particularly small succubus in the line.

The two sinners boxed her in and ignored the protests from the succubi around her.

“Come on, baby. It’s what you’re for, right?” Said the ugly red bastard on the left.

Adam stepped out of the line for the new succubi restaurant and, taking as long of strides as he could at his size, he confronted the two.

“Fuck off. Leave her alone, assholes.” Adam knew exactly what these creeps were doing. Targeting her because she was small and weak.

She barely looked old enough to have switched to feeding on lust instead of love.

He knew this was hell, but he was ashamed of the kinds of people that had come from his nuts.

A few members of the line up backed him up and joined in telling the sinners off, but most just seemed like they didn’t want to be the next target. Adam couldn’t blame them. These freaks looked like they were almost as tall as he had been when he was an angel. Their teeth were sharp, their claws looked sharper.

Most of the succubi looked like him. Small and weak. They were used to being near the bottom rung. Lucky ones worked in the mortal realm to gather lust. The rest had to make do here. Without Lu, he’d be like them. Getting a meal from anyone he could.

“Ohh, you want to take her place, baby? What do you think, man?” Ugly and red asked ugly and blue.

Adam stood straight, put his hand on his hip and told them, “how about you fucking leave before I kick your fucking ass.”

Ugly and blue grabbed his arm firmly, “don’t be like that, cutie. Why don’t you lift your pretty skirt and give us a good time.”

He tried to stay calm but he could feel his anger starting to reach the boiling point.

Adam let himself drop suddenly to his haunches, yanking the guy forward, then shot back up and head butted the asshole in the jaw.

He let go of Adam and stumbled back, holding onto his chin as he screamed. Blood dripped from his mouth as his sharp teeth had bit into his long tongue.

The new him might be small, but he had been a fighter for thousands of years. There was one thing that would help keep the creep down. Adam kicked high and got the guy square in the nuts. He was real happy he was wearing Lu’s boots that day. The ones with the pointed toes.

They looked good with his skirt, and he made that skirt look real good. His legs and ass were hot, he was man enough to admit it and flaunt it these days.

Ugly and blue screamed and Adam was pretty sure he felt something pop. Served the freak right.

Ugly and red grabbed him by the elbow and lifted him up. “You little cunt!”

Adam was small. He was weaker than he had been on Earth or in heaven. Unlike sinners or even a lot of the hell-born kind, succubi as a species didn’t have a lot of non-sexual ways to save themselves from danger. His claws were little, his horns couldn’t do much, and succubi wings were more for looks than function.

As he dangled, Adam knew he couldn’t kick the guy. So he did the only thing he could. He dug the tiny claws of his free hand into the guy’s arm and unfurled his golden wings.

They tore through the back of his shirt, turning it into tatters. He never could get them through the slits without Lu’s help.

At least it was just the back and his tits were still covered. Adam didn’t want to give the guy a free show.

The average succubus wings barely did jack shit. His on the other hand, when he made them full sized, lifted him and the sinner high in the air above the street.

“You know, I was calling you Ugly and Red in my head but I just thought of a new name for you.” Adam let go of the sinner’s arm and the guy screamed. He begged and apologized as he held on to Adam.

Adam raked the sinners arms with his claws and the sinner let go. “Bye-bye, Street Pizza.”

He landed to some nervous faces.

A parade in his honour would have been overboard but they could at least look like he wasn’t about to taken to the gallows for killing a sinner and popping another guy’s nuts.

Speaking of, where the fuck was popped nut?

No way the guy got up and ran so quickly. All Adam could see was the busted body of street pizza and a smear where he had left popped nut.

A familiar hat caught his eyes as it rose up. Lu was a few inches taller than the group of succubi and incubi. His hat was even more distinctive.

Lu saw him and smiled, then frowned. “Adam.” The hell-born parted for their king as Lu moved towards him. “Are you okay? Feeling faint?”

Adam’s could see the girl from where Lu had been. Looking starstruck and blushing.

“I’m hungry, but fine. Where’s popped nut?”

“Who?” Lu looked over at the bloody smear on the ground when Adam gestured that way. “The blue sinner? Don’t worry about him. He won’t be reforming anytime soon.”

Lu insisted on looking Adam over as they joined the line up again and no one seemed to quite know what to do upon seeing the king fussing over a low level demon. “I just want to make sure you’re okay, Ducky. You have to stop loosing your temper.”

It was lucky that Adam thought Lu was cute. “What was I supposed to do, Lu?” He lowered his voice to maintain the illusion of privacy at least. “They were creeps at best, and trying to coerce her into sex. She barely looks old enough for her first heat and she looked scared. I had to do something.”

Sighing, Lu cupped Adam’s cheeks, thumbs on Adam’s black heart cheek marks, and kissed his nose. “What am I going to do with you, Ducky?”

“I can think of a few things we can do after dinner.” Adam teased.

Lu’s hands wrapped around Adam’s waist and pulled him close. “Hmm, we could skip dinner and I can feed you.”

“Fuck no.” Adam let himself be held. “I’ve been dying to try this place. It’s almost impossible to find synthetic lust in the pride ring, now there’s a whole restaurant? This is amazing.”

He wasn’t the only one that thought so, given the slow moving line up.

Sex was great. Ten out of ten, no complaints. But he liked to have a meal on occasion that didn’t involve Lu being balls deep in him. That being said. Sometimes it was nice just to have sex to have sex. No feeding involved.

Adam hated creeps like those sinners. He and other succubi weren’t walking flesh lights just because they needed to fed on people’s lust to live.

He just wished there was something more he could do to help.

[finneyfinland]

I Think We're Alone Now chapter 2

SUMMARY: Billionaire Reginald Hargreeves adopts 8 children all born on the same day of the same year. 7 of which were soon introduced as the umbrella academy. To you, the umbrella academy was nothing but a man using his power to traumatizes children. You'd know, as you were number 8. The Vampire

WARNINGS: mentions of child torture (experiments). Starvation, body horror (vampire), cannibalism, child abuse, blood, death, murder, childhood trauma (noncon tattooing), nightmares

A/N: Please listen to the warnings, there's gonna be a LOT of blood talk in this one. I'll be calling Victor Vanya but I will also use they/them as to lessen the blow. When the third season comes around we'll switch over dw

As the group follows Five to the kitchen, you try to get a head start on adjusting to Five's usual body, but slightly altered. His body usually was full of carbs and sugar with almost electricity energy shuttering throughout, to help fuel his abilities. This Five was extremely lacking the balance needed to sustain his healthy bodily growth pattern. You walk in tandem beside him before speaking quietly, "Your muscle mass will deplete rapidly if you don't feed yourself soon". He glances up at you in surprise before glaring "where does it look like I'm going?" His response puts a smile on your face as you hum, falling back a few paces to rejoin the rest of the group following behind. It's nice to see that some things don't change.

You stand between Vanya and Allison as you all watch Five run around the kitchen. "What's the date? The exact date." Vanya responds while Five grabs the package of bread, laying two slices upon the cutting board you watched him bring out. "Perfect" Is all Five says. He must have been counting on a certain date. Before you can try to unpack that Luther demands an explanation, trying to intimidate him into answering. Which goes completely ignored by Five. It's hard to focus on the very important interrogation attempt when everyone's heart rates are fluctuating rapidly. You try to listen over the many sounds only you can hear. Five matches Luther's energy before teleporting behind him trying to reach for the cupboards. You find it amusing that he has to use the step stool to reach.

"Where'd you go?" Diego asks looking to the ground. "The future. It's shit, by the way." Five responds as he grabs the sugar and teleports back to the cutting board. "Called it" Klaus exclaims as he raises his hand. "I should've listened to the old man." The way Five pauses his explanation to complement Klaus, and Klaus's immediate flamboyant thanks brings a smile to your face.

As Vanya asks a question you focus on what Five could be making. So far the ingredients are suspiciously close to the 'meals' that you all used to make as kids. The same ones you and Vanya left out for him. Looks like he still loves them.

While you were distracted Five must of said something too snarky for his own good cause Diego shoots out of his seat. You're glad Luther was able to stop him, he just got back and they're already fighting? you thought to yourself. Meanwhile Luther asks Five how much time he spent in the future. "Forty-five years, give or take" as Five's response hit the air your siblings around you sit back in disbelief. For the family it was 20 years at max, to hear that it's been 45 for him shocks you. As the heartbeats of your sibling continue to fluctuate as they struggle to digest the information in front of them Five mentions a 'Dolores' confusing the group even further.

Five grabs the newspaper with father's death on the front page. "Guess I missed the funeral." Luther and Diego seem to still be arguing about the true cause of father's sudden death. The rest of your group ignore the bubbling anger beside them in favor for the mystery that is Five. "Nice to see nothings changed." Five walks off. As he passes you Allison tries to questions him, but Five brushes her off in favor of going upstairs with his sandwich.

As he leaves the rest of your siblings and you are now even more confused. Getting what felt like more questions instead of the answers you all need. The group disperses now all splitting up to take a breather, attempt to take everything in.

With Vanya and Five together in the parlor you change into bulkier clothing to withstand the chill that so commonly is paired with the rain. It's finally time for you and your siblings to hold a mock mourning ceremony back behind the house. You pull on your long black coat to fight the cold. Before heading out you make sure to grab your umbrella that you take everywhere. It's black, with a mesh veil flowing down along all sides for extra coverage. Usually it's for the sun, but it should sustain in actual rain.

With Luther carrying the ashes everyone follows behind. You walk beside Vanya and mom, stopping near Ben's statue. "Did something happen?" Mom asks, her wiring must really be acting up. The question concerns your siblings as they answer her question with confusion. Diego tries to reassure the group but you can tell he doesn't believe his words. Pogo walks out and joins the circle to prompt Luther into starting. As he pours out father's urn the ashes drop onto the ground without any grandeur, leaving the mood awkward instead of remorseful. "Probably would have been better with some wind." Luther says, only digging himself a deeper grave.

As Pogo tries to save the occasion with a speech you couldn't help but be angered by his words. Dad might of been a smart billionaire who gave you eight a home, but that doesn't even begin to make up for his abuse. The ugly side of your thoughts peaking through at such a time as this fills you with shame. You don't think you could meet anyone's eyes. Pogo's words act as pure diesel to the flames within Diego, mirroring yours. As they explode, it doesn't seem to make anyone feel better. When Diego brings forth his number, you feel emotion start to rise from your chest.

As Number Eight you understand Diego's argument personally, even hearing the number being brought up in conversation is enough to send you back to your childhood, nothing but bad memories. It's a weakness you've tried to work through with the multiple therapists you've had over the years.

Diego's last challenge to our father sparks another ugly argument between him and Luther. Sometimes words cut deeper than blades ever could, you find it ironic that Diego of all people toe the line so closely. Arguments like this have always happened in your family, no one was similar enough to truly be close, but everyone was too close feel different, at least in the good way. The differences between you all couldn't be more stark, but the experiences you share could be enough to tie you together. If they could get over themselves anyway.

Luther swings at Diego and all hope for a nice reunion is lost in a second. You grab mom and pull the two of you away from the fighting. Heart rates increase in speed and volume as Vanya tries to get them to stop, being immediately blocked out by Klaus spurring them on. Pogo leaves the group as the brawl gets too close to Ben's statue. "We don't have time for this." Just as Five walks away to return to the house Luther's punch collapses Ben's statue. As the pieces hit the ground it feels like a part of you is shattering along side it. The world stops for a second, before your forced to shift your eyes back, numb and alone.

Ben's been gone for a while, but you haven't quite let he go yet. Both of you were close when he was alive. Seeing the only grace he was given disrespected digs at an old wound.

The moment doesn't last as Diego whips a knife through the air, it clips Luther's arm. Halting the fight as Luther walks off clutching his arm. Vanya moves to confront Diego and a chill rushes up your spine. Not able to dare risk confrontation, another fight would only make you feel worse. You walk back into the house, head low. Wanting the loudness of everyone's heart beats out of your ears, missing your apartment now more than ever.

You collect your bag and make your way to the front doors. It seems the familiar smells and sounds prove to be too much for you. As you open the front doors and step out onto the street the once harsh chill air feels freeing, a dark weight lifted enough to breath unburdened. As you stand on the side walk your brain calls back another old memory of when you left for good all those years ago. I was dumb to think anything would change you think to yourself as the taxi begins your ride back to your quiet apartment.

Although your body has left, your mind is still swimming with anxieties. That's when the itching starts. It burns into your forearm as your rip your sleeve back. When you look down your met with the tattoo you were branded with as a child.

You were the last number, placed almost at the end of the line. You're forced to watch your sibling cling to each other as tears stream down their young faces. As you sit in between Five and Ben their heart beats clue you into their fear. Ben is almost in tears just at the sight of our siblings, while Five tries to put up a brave front. Meanwhile Klaus has been dissociating since Luther sat in the chair first. When you look up you can see Vanya as they stand on the landing of the staircase looking down as we cling to one another. Sometimes you wonder if their happy that they're missing out. But later when you're sleeping over in their room you spot a black marker drawing of an umbrella matching yours on their arm.

Days at home were hard, but at night there was a sliver of peace waiting for you. A secret you've kept to yourself, the dark nights were a comfort only you could have. When the last of your siblings succumbed to sleep they're heart beats would slow, sometimes if you were really lucky they would sync up for a few beats. It would only happen for a second, but when it did, it was like music. All different instruments coming together as one. You were trained to distinguish your siblings heart beats, but when they combined there was no telling who was who. Klaus or Luther, Five or Diego, Vanya or Ben they were indistinguishable. It was only after two or three beats separated that you could tell. You're sure that if you told them about your love for their hearts, they would be weirded out. So you've kept it to yourself. To this day the sounds and patterns of your siblings live inside your brain. Training forever burnt into your skull.

Your thoughts come to a close as the cab stops in front of your complex. As you walk up to your floor you extend your senses to the greater neighborhood around. Searching in vain for your siblings. Surprisingly you find the faintest sound belonging to Five. Two other heart beats foreign to you are with him. Unlocking your door and closing it with a click your hang up your coat and prepare to settle in for the night. Exhausted, your mind is quick to let Five's heart slip into your subconscious. It makes your some nice background noise as you sit on your couch sleep blinks in and out as your own heart rate slows.

Five's however doesn't get the memo. It cuts out, and accelerates to levels harmful to the common human. Your mind is too tired from the long day, but a part of you begs to keep your eyes and ears open. Five's heart only cuts out when he's jumping, and it's happening way too soon. But with how far away he is there's no use in listening any longer. Five's the one who can teleport anyway your brain reasons. As long as his heart doesn't stop, you shouldn't have to worry.

A couple minutes pass and Five jumps out of your reach before flickering back in. See, he's fine you slip in and out of sleep, still calling out to your siblings. Eventually your able to fall into a gentle sleep. Soothed by the hearts of your neighbors, and the cars passing below..

Days are long for a wolf living among sheep. Every passerby is a meal that is practically begging to be devoured. The wolf's life as a sheep doctor is torturous. Can you imagine? A perfectly prepared meal sitting open on a table. The wolf is sure that anyone would understand if they took a bite, after all isn't it the wolf's natural instincts? Why should the wolf have to starve itself as sheep prance around them? Aren't the sheep just asking for a wolf to come along?!

It's pointless for a wolf to hold back, barely surviving isn't enough. When you have an infinite source of food, wouldn't you just dig in. Why hold back? Who's to judge you if you just eat them too? It's not like the sheep ever saw the wolf as anything more than a predator. Proving them right is only natural. It's always been the way of life, hasn't it? Survival of the fittest and all…

You're sweating, limbs aching. You must of fallen asleep on the couch again. There's this loud beating in your ears, it's starting to get on your nerves. Oh wait, it's your heart. No wonder it was so loud. Faintly other hearts join yours through the quiet night until you realize one's different from the rest. It's unique, and it's fast. Too fast. You groan, naps always act like a hard reset. All sorts of questions come to mind. Who am I, where am I, what time is it, hell what day is it? The special heart beat has gotten louder, faster in your ears. Faintly you remember you were listening for this very heart.

As your mind clears it all comes back to you. It's Five's heart. Five's back. His heart is going way too fast to be normal, and it's giving you a headache. You stand with a huff. 'Might as well go check'. You think to yourself as you put your coat and shoes on. The walk to Five's location is interrupted as he jumps away. Luckily you can still hear it. Now that you think about it, you can hear another. Vanya's apartment must be close. How Five managed to find it is beyond you. You sigh and call a cab, you've already walked too long tonight. If you want to hold out until your next feeding day you'll need to hold back on wasting energy.

The ride is easy, and your left in font of Vanya's complex. You'll just have to guess with your ears what floor she's on. As you walk floor to floor you start to hear voices. Five's talking, you must be getting close then. As you step up to the door you breathe in a calming breath. Here goes nothing you knock on the door eight times, a calling card you used to use as kids. The conversation inside halts. Quickly Vanya walks to the door before opening it. When the door opens that's when you can smell it. Fresh food.

As your eyes scan the room for it your eyes land on a injured Five. It's not his blood you can smell though. He has someone, he has someone's limbs. Quickly your mouth fills with saliva. You rip your eyes away to focus on Vanya. Their concerned face meets your stoic one. You smile, "Hey, you left early and I barely got to talk to you today." You hope this will be a decent lie. Luckily for you they fall for it. "Oh right sorry, I just needed a breather." Vanya replies, "Yeah so did I, our siblings are just as loud as ever." As Vanya opens the door further you step in the space. "Is that a new violin bow? Did the old one finally break?" You smile sadly, it was practically a gift from father. "Yeah it couldn't take anymore string repairs." Vanya closes the door before turning to look at the old thing.

Finally you turn to Five "What're you doing here? You smell like blood." Five smirks, "I knew I couldn't hide it from you." he pull out a wrap of newspaper. You can tell by the smell alone that it's flesh. You swallow as he unwraps it. Vanya gasps as he reveals three fingers, still fresh. "I need you to tell me about this person, think you can do it?" Five asks, he cut off fingers for you. He knew you would come and find him.

You clear your throat, "how long since they died?" You can't eat blood from the dead, father found that out the hard way. After 4 hours the blood turns to poison. "About an hour now." Five says casually. Vanya sits down on their couch, turned away as to not see. They've become accustomed over the years to your diet. But the fear that comes with severed parts is normal. It's ordinary.

"Alright" you outstretch you hand palm up. Five steps forward and drops the fingers into you hand. Your eyes lock onto them, it's been awhile since you've eaten body parts. Luckily your stomach can digest whole bones.

With one last breath you lift a finger up to your mouth. The taste is even better than the smell. The blood fills your mouth as your teeth tare the skin and muscle. The flavor is rich, and filling. Your teeth crunch the bones and grind them into nothing. The first goes too fast. As you bring up the second finger you focus on taking in any information you can.

Male, good diet, healthy. Another gulp. Upper 20s to lower 30s. There's a old blood pressure problem. He's taking the proper medication. His bones snap from the pressure of your jaw as the warm nectar of life drips down your throat. Veins burst gushing into your mouth. Lots of stress in daily life. Strict boss, long shifts taking a toll. High heart rate within the last seconds. Another bite and there's a slight after taste. He's had alcohol with the last 12 hours. Drinking irresponsibly on the job. The skin smells of gunpowder. Vastly different locations. A clean office then dirty streets. Steady hands on decline. The muscle is plump, he works out. Not enough at his age, but semi-regularly. The third has passed your lips without you noticing, too hungry. He hates his job, not enough money maybe. Or too many hours, bad coworkers. He's low on the chain, not respected enough.

Your hunger blinds you to the outside world. You lick you hand clean, stomach never truly full. Soon you realize that there's eyes on you. Quickly you straighten up. Your fangs are out, your eyes are probably blown out, you're panting like a dog. You lost track and now you've embarrassed yourself. You meet Five's eyes hesitantly, ashamed. He's smirking at you, that dumb look. It's like he's planned everything out and the pieces are all falling into place. You remember what he used to say, 'I only stand so close because I'm stronger than you'. "Well, what've you got?" Always one to cut to the chase. "Healthy, but an alcoholic. Regretful, angry about his job. Slightly drunk, but got another shift less than 10 hours ago. Works for an office type headquarters, but is low on the chain. A throw away worker. Quickly replaced." You finish as you take out a spare tissue to wipe any leftover blood. Five nods at each point before turning to sit back onto the chair behind him. "Thank you for the plentiful meal." You say as your face wipes clean. Five scowls. You walk around the couch before sitting next to Vanya.

Eventually it gets late, Vanya insists both of you stay until morning. You're quick to accept while Five goes along with it. Vanya brings out blankets for Five and invites you to sleep over in their room. You lay beside Vanya, the same way you used to as kids. They fall asleep and you can hear Five jump away as Vanya's heart slows. You get up from the bed and write them a note. 'Shift at 5 :)' A little white lie. You leave it on their counter before heading back home. Gotta leave before sunlight. Even though you just ate, you didn't bring your umbrella with you.

Tomorrow you'll stop by the house. Peak your head in the door before leaving. You don't want to get too involved, getting close to the family never brings any good.

We're just too destructive.

[ghouldtime]

Random Rant on Fanfic Pet Names

Let me say this is more me screaming into the great unknown because it's something that I KEEP seeing and it keeps irking me and causing me to cringe out of my skin. Putting it under the read more, it's just a rant mainly about the COD fandom, you're not missing anything if you don't read this

Disclaimer: I mean absolutely no hate to the writers who do this. Because you should be writing what makes YOU happy and what YOU like to write. Writing is unique and independent to each individual and just because I don't like something doesn't mean that it's inherently bad or shouldn't be done. You do you, you go on your own journey - just cause we both like hiking doesn't mean we have to take the same trail or that one path is better than the other. Judging people like that who write different than you is nasty and policing harmless writing over little things is stinky sock sniffer behavior. Just cause it's my yuck doesn't mean it is everyone's and I don't expect everyone to agree with me nor is my point meant to be an objective truth or statement. It's literally just my feelings and I need to yell about it

The COD fandom in particular I've seen is atrocious for doing this. But I abhor when they make the characters use pet names like "pet" and "little girl" or "little boy".

Especially when they've literally JUST met

Every time I see it I immediately have to exit off the fic as I gag. I swear it's instinctive at this point. You know those videos of cats who do the extremely dramatic gagging when they smell something they slightly don't like? That's me. 110%

It comes up and I look at the page like this

It just feels so so gross to me and has this icky undertone that I cannot stand. And I don't know if I'm reading into it too much or if this is just me a me thing but I swear to any gods above this keeps happening. It's done so much I have tried putting filters on specifically to avoid it

It strikes me as so odd??? Like why that out of everything. Why something emphasizing age/maturity or treating the reader like they're a possession when it's a regular ass fanfic.

It makes my skin crawl and the possessive/dismissive undertones there are NOT cute. It always reads as ignoring reader's autonomy and treating them more like an object or thing instead of a person. When they just met too or the relationship really doesn't call for it or where it would be weird, it's just shoehorned in and I reallllly really really hate it oh man.

Like if it's established and is a fic where it's like "hey, this is what this is going to be! We're doing a nsfw/bdsm-y undertones here! That's the vibe!" Then great! Fantastic! That lines up, you're expecting that. Not when it's like a fluff fic or supposed to be super causal

I see this mainly with Ghost in fan fics. For some reason, he seems to be numero uno when it comes to calling reader "pet" as a form of endearment. I'm so sorry but I can't ever see him doing that. The guy who has extensive trauma with animals from his childhood, who would take an IMMENSE amount of time forming a close bond with someone to ever get into a relationship (following the comics for his history anyhow which is what I've seen most people do, Ghost has literally seen his family killed and has been through so so much trauma it's wild and the dude has a lot going on mentally), calling someone he cares about a pet??? I just don't see it happening. I sure as shit don't think he'd do that to near strangers either. Even if you ignored that past history for him or write Ghost different -that's just a flat out weird thing to call someone you don't know and has the implications of ownership/subservience on that person's part. Doing that to someone you REALLY do not know is insane

And the little girl/boy one used in conjunction with an age gap??? No??? That's just. So many shades of ew to me and is really putting emphasis on the wrong thing there (at least how I see it and in the context of the fic. I've never seen it used appropriately unless the reader is meant to be a literal child and it's a platonic fic. Context matters). ESPECIALLY when they emphasize reader is young (as in, barely legal, just turned 18/19 or heck even 20). Which I also keep seeing too when it is used. I'm not here for that reallllly creepy vibe that sounds like something you'd eventually hear about on Dateline or in a youtube exposé video

Like y'all. Anyone being shipped with them should be a grown ass adult because THEY are all grown ass adults. For me the little is never emphasizing size when paired with a gendered term, it's emphasizing how small their age is and that's wacky. Maybe that's just a me problem but when I hear "little girl" or "little boy", I'm thinking of a kid. Because girl/boy are most commonly used for children and when you're pairing it with little there, that's what you're emphasizing and you're practically guaranteeing that image.

Be real, if a guy you JUST met who you don't find attractive sneers and says, "Be quiet, pet." or "hush little girl/boy, " you wouldn't find that hot, you'd find that creepy. It's only excused because you're attracted to the character and find them hot. I'm picking a fight, I'm throwing hands if that's dropped on me in the real world out there. Probably not because I'm too non-confrontational but you bet im cringing and giving him the most:

look I can absolutely muster.

Maybe this is just a me thing and I'm losing my marbles. Or maybe it's the fact that I've had that happen to me where a dude I barely know called me "little girl/boy" (despite me being older?? and like the same height?????) and I just died on the inside viscerally that day

For the record if someone pulls the 'pet' card, I'm living up to it. I'm puking on the carpets somewhere in the dark at 3am, I'm yelling at the mailman and doorbells, I'm doing parkour off the couch when you're trying to sleep. Why the absolute hell are you calling someone you JUST MET that when it isn't even supposed to be that kinda nsfw fic.

It's one thing if the vibe is established and the tags are there and you know what you're getting into. But I lose my mind when it's a casual fluff or meant to be romantic and then all of a sudden, BAM THERE IT IS AGAIN.

It makes it so hard to read fics because it's like roulette, I swear I'm always suddenly hit with it and there goes my interest in trying again 🥲

To anyone who read this i admire your courage and akbwdbkawd im having a moment over here

(And hopefully everyone is having a snazzy day! 💚💚💚 my inbox is always open if you ever need to vent or need someone to talk to or want to join me yelling into the void)

Rant over,

Ghoul out

[there-will-be-a-way]

Today's therapy session (I'm finally doing therapy for my DID with someone *so* competent)

We started talking about the surgery and then spent most of the session talking about my DID, the shame that I feel regarding it and my doubts.

Bullet list of things I want to remember

My T said that Amely (part who's loyal to our family and misses them greatly) probably needs some of my parts to feel like the parents she longs for in order to not miss my real parents anymore (hearing this felt so 🥺, like my T truly gets us)

It would be helpful to have a part who can mediate between parts so that we function better (I suggested that Dirk could do it because I remembered a message he once left us, how he wants us to cooperate again but later when I looked it up, I found out that it was actually Kiran who left that message) (I just remembered that my therapist said Kiran is a cool name and that he wants to look up where it comes from because he's never heard of it before. Before I found a message from Kiran I hadn't heard of it either. I actually had to google if it was a real name but yeah, it is. And this is not the first part with a name I never heard before (see Anatolia).

My therapist said that it is rare for complete final fusion to happen but that we can learn to work together as a team

He calls my parts "Personen" ("persons") which feels a lot more compassionate than what former therapists called my parts ("Zustände" ("states") or "Figuren" ("figures))

He also said there's no need for shame, that everybody has parts but that mine are just more seperate which can be exhausting to deal with

He says that I could also view my DID as something that helped me to survive and I said that yeah, if I hadn't been able to split off these experiences I wouldn't be able to function to which he replied, "If you hadn't been able to do this, you would be dead." Which man. This man is speaking the truuuuth

Overall he just has such a kind and compassionate way to talk about my DID, it makes me feel so accepted and seen

My highlight of the session:

Me: "But what if I'm just imagining having these parts, what if it's all just in my head?"

My therapist:

(Yes, he quoted Dumbledore, not without a remark about how we're going to ignore the critique regarding J.K. Roling for a moment)

Yeah, I voiced that I'm scared that my first DID therapist might have pressured me to think I have DID (which in hindsight, no, this didn't happen). And my T said that it's there now. These parts inside me and the group chat we use to leave each other notes. So we can work with it. Do I still feel like a faker? Yeah, but I feel less "insane" now

I can't believe I'm really doing therapy for my DID. I'm actually so touched by how compassionate my therapist is that I had to thank him today, for taking away my shame. I truly trust him and I really don't trust easily. Part of me can't wait to finally tackle the DID and learn how to live together, as a team. Or a family? 🥺😭

[marsmarauders]

folklore (Marauder's Version)

Welcome back to another episode of Mo and Marls going insane :) @idkjustlemmedrownlikerab and I overanalyzed every single song on folklore… (the BEST Taylor Swift album, no discussion).

Also, we first discussed this one like a month ago and I didn't take very detailed notes, so if I missed anything Mo, let me know!

Sorry, it took a bit longer for this one to come out… I’m trying my best here. 😭

Let’s get into it, shall we?

the 1

So we all know how James changed, right? Like how he grew out of the bullying and mistreatment? I think part of that maturity came from Jegulus. The experience of being in a relationship with someone who is the complete and utter opposite of you would probably take a lot of emotional maturity. (And immaturity, hence why he left him when he did). And obviously, Regulus would not have betrayed Voldomort if he hadn’t first gone through the worst of it all. If it was all sunshine and rainbows being a death eater, why on earth would he have changed his mind? Like the song says, they never would’ve matured and grown if it weren’t for the fallout of their relationship.

“And if you wanted me, you really should've showed. And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow.”

“To kiss in cars, and downtown bars was all we needed. You drew stars around my scars, but now I’m bleeding.”

cardigan

Yeah, I know the cliche. That’s literally the most quoted Wolfstar coded song lyric in the history of Taylor Swift songs, so instead, let me bring up verse 3.

This part of the song perfectly encapsulates how I think Remus felt after October 31st, 1981. Sirius would always be there in the back of his mind, whether it be the ghost of his slips or the scent of smoke. Even though he didn’t want to feel that way about Sirius anymore, considering the weight of the crimes that Sirius had supposedly committed, he still felt that way because the younger him was insistent that Sirius was the one. And some part of him knew that even though destiny fought against them, they’d end up together again. (Not for long- cough).

“But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss. I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs. The smell of smoke would hang around this long. 'Cause I knew everything when I was young. I knew I'd curse you for the longest time. Chasin' shadows in the grocery line. I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired. And you'd be standin' in my front porch light. And I knew you'd come back to me.”

“Who knows, if I never showed up, what could've been. There goes the loudest person this town has ever seen. I had a marvelous time ruining everything.”

the last great american dynasty

So first off, let’s completely ignore the word American in this scenario. Second off, my interpretation is different from the actual meaning of the song. Instead of blaming women from a sexist point of view, I’m instead using the motif that everyone was (rightfully) blaming the death eaters for the war. Does that make sense? Okay.

So when Mo first brought up the idea that this song was about Regulus, it took me a minute to understand where she was coming from (Not because it was a bad idea, not at all. This is just not my particular favorite song off of folklore). But the fact that one of the lyrics is “there goes the maddest women (person in this case) this town has ever seen, really sold it for me.

We may all argue that Barty was the maddest of all the death eaters, considering the lengths he went for Voldemort, but up until the betrayal, Regulus was literally the #1 Voldemort stan. He was mad. If he’d never “shown up,” yeah, some things might’ve been better. But to figure out the Horcruxs, he kind of had to go down that path. So in the final chorus, I honestly think it’s Regulus, 6 feet under, mocking everyone who hated him, because without him, Voldemort would’ve never been defeated.

“I think I've seen this film before, and I didn't like the ending.”

exile

This song is the dynamic I picture Wolfstar having after reuniting. Not in the shrieking shack, but outside of school. There were two conflicting sides to the story, but both left them in shambles. And now that they know the truth, they’re too scared to risk it again. Because what’s the point of trying again if they’re only going to die in the end?

The bridge gets this point across perfectly. When Taylor echos Justin’s singing with a second perspective of the story, that captures Sirius and Remus perfectly. Because from Remus’s perspective, Sirius didn’t give him any kind of heads up that he thought Remus himself to be the traitor. Sirius never gave him the time of day to hear him out! But obviously, Sirius tried giving signs, such as 1: keeping the Potter’s secret keeper extremely confidential to the point that he wouldn’t even tell his partner and 2: arguing with Remus about where he was at night. But how could Remus have known that? He couldn’t read Sirius’s mind! They were falling so quickly that there was no way to stop it.

Now that they know the truth, however, they’re learning to forgive each other and move past it. But how can they when they’re just as in love with each other as they were before? Why would they risk it all if it could disappear all the same? They knew how this movie ended, why would they watch it again?

“And I can go anywhere I want. Anywhere I want, just not home.”

my tears ricochet

This song is Sirius to many people all at once, so let me break it down a little.

The majority of the song is Sirius to the people who believed him to be the spy. To have killed his best friends. The fact that he was never given a chance to explain himself and was just locked up; he’s feeling a lot of resentment. Sirius wants to know why on earth they care so much about it when he was “suppoedly” the one to have destroyed everything. Why is the focus on him? Why aren’t they focused on James or Lily or Marlene or Dorcas or the people who died in the war? If he’s dead to them, then why do they act like he exists?

The bridge is him towards Regulus. Regulus died, for reasons that Sirius will probably never know. He talks to the Regulus star, because it’s all he has left, even though he left him years ago. He probably wonders if Regulus saved himself from ending up like Sirius. He probably wonders if Regulus was right. Not about pureblood supremacy, but about keeping quiet and leaving it be.

I think the last chorus is Sirius towards Peter. Throwing Sirius under the bus will only disadvantage Peter in the long run. Why would you willingly stay a rat for 13 years?

"I'm a mirrorball. I can change everything about me to fit in. You are not like the regulars. The masquerade revelers. Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten."

mirrorball

Mirrorball was a little tricky at first cause it's just kind of ✨ominous manipulation✨ to be quite honest and at first, I think Mo was thinking Sirius? But then I kind of looked deeper into the lyrics that I listed above and was like "Hear me out… It's Peter's internal monologue convincing himself into becoming a death eater." and we were both like "Woah."

seven

"Sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won't tell no other."

So, I think we can all come to the agreement that from the bridge to the end of the song, it's James talking to Sirius. This kind of pure, compassionate, and beautiful friendship is such a special part of this fandom. They had such a special bond and I think that they're basically the definition of "Chosen Family."

However, the more I think about it, I think that everything from before the bridge is incredibly Regulus and Pandora coded. The difference between the Black Brother's closest friendships and how that kind of influenced their decisions. James gave Sirius a safe space, whereas Pandora was Regulus's safe space. Do you understand what I'm getting at?

august

So, I haven’t read ATYD but I know the basic concept of who Grant Chapman is and what he did and all that, and Mo was very insistent on this song being Grant, and I completely agree.

“So much for summer love and saying “us,” cause you weren’t mine to lose.”

Grant was a stand-in for Sirius in some way. I think both he and Remus knew that, but Grant fell for Remus, he couldn’t help it! And he knew Remus loved him, but he wasn’t Sirius and he’d never be Sirius. But that doesn’t make it any less bittersweet for Grant, knowing that Remus is happier off with Sirius. In the same way that Jegulus was necessary for James’s character growth, Grant was necessary for Remus’s.

this is me trying

So I was certain this was Black Brothers and Mo was certain this was Regulus, so I’m gonna mix them. In the bridge specifically, I can see Regulus longing for Sirius after he left. The parties? The weird pureblood cult meetings his family had. It was hard for Regulus to even walk around their house because it was not the same without Sirius. The “one screen in his town” is Sirius being Regulus’s only escape. (Cause you watch movies on a screen? And movies tend to be an escape from reality? Look at me. I’m smart). And Regulus is also struggling with this internal battle because if he leaves, he’ll put himself and Sirius in danger, but if he stays, he’ll have to do things he knows deep down in his heart he doesn’t want to do. This is him trying.

“And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you. You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town.”

“It's born from just one single glance. But it dies and it dies and it dies a million little times.”

illicit affairs

Okay, before I get into this song, I want to clarify that we’re not implying that any of these characters were unfaithful.

There’s a difference between an affair (long- term cheating) and an affair (a pastime experience). I’m not the kind of person to promote cheating or adultery in my stories, because I think it’s such a frustrating topic to discuss. I wouldn’t ship people who went out of their way to hurt their partners. That being said, the word “affair” here is being used in the same way the words “event” or “incident” would. Obviously the word “illicit” means forbidden, so our interpretation of “illicit affairs” is just a “secret relationship.”

I think you might understand who I’m getting at here… if you guessed Jegulus, you’d be correct! James and Regulus were a secret, but not in the way you think. Their friends knew, Sirius knew, James’s parents probably knew, but Regulus’s family could not know. No one outside of their circle could know. (Reminds me of another Taylor Swift lyric. “You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath.” James kept Regulus as a secret, only because Regulus wanted him to, but Regulus held on to James like he was his life support). It was almost as if they were having an affair, and like most affairs, they die.

Also, the bridge; lets discuss.

The first part of the bridge is James to Regulus. James was a mess after leaving Regulus because he couldn’t fix him. He couldn’t help him. (Well actually, he might’ve been able to but he left when Regulus needed him the most so-) The “colors” that Regulus showed him were 1: that the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, 2: that James cannot fix everything, and 3: the maturity that James gained from their relationship.

“And you wanna scream don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby.” Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me. You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else.”

Again, Regulus was ripped to shreds after their break up, and he made some really foolish choices afterwards. The so-called “secret language” that James taught him, was vulnerability. Sure, he can talk about things with Barty or Evan, but with James he wasn’t expected to pull himself together. He could just exist with James and everything would be fine. Until it wasn’t.

“Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby.” Look at this idiotic fool that you made me. You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else.”

“A string that pulled me. Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar. Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire. Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons. One single thread of gold tied me to you”

invisble string

This one was tough, because there are so many couples that start out as these wholesome, pure, lovely relationships, but we quickly vetoed most of them.

Wolfstar: This song is literally about the concept of destiny and fate, and although Sirius and Remus were quite literally meant to be together, destiny kept pulling them apart.

Jily: I guess Jily are also quite literally the definition of fate, considering their matching patroni, the prophecy, etc. But Jily is also quite literally the definition of slow-burn, so again, this song doesn’t fit them.

Rosekiller: I guess you could argue they were fate, but they’re way too angsty.

Dorlene: Again, soulmates but way too angsty + they were rivals at the start.

This is where I came to the realization that every single couple in this fandom ends in tragic death… but then I thought about it some more.

Xenophilius and Pandora- JUST LET ME FINISH.

Yes, I am well aware that Pandora dies, but from what we know in canon, it was a freak accident. She wasn’t murdered like Marlene, Dorcas, the Potters, technically Evan, and Sirius (Yes, even if Sirius hadn’t fallen into the veil, he would’ve died). She didn’t risk her life like Regulus and Remus. She wasn’t driven to insanity like the Longbottoms and Barty (by the dementors kiss) She was experimenting, something she loved to do. She probably died happy for all we know!

I also think Pandora was probably esoteric (she believed in crystals, chakras, astrology, etc), so I think she also might’ve believed in fate. And considering the fact that Xenophilius and her relationship was so perfect, they probably were fate. They were classic friends to lovers, and they had the happiest ending out of all the marauders. Pandora was able to raise her daughter until she was nine, more than Lily and James ever got to do, and Xenophilius continued to raise Luna even after she died. (Yes, I’m aware he technically betrayed Harry, however we know he was a good person at heart and that prior to the Battle of Hogwarts, he openly supported Harry. The death eaters had kidnapped his daughter, I honestly don’t blame him that much.

Oh and also, Xenophilius was probably her only friend during her 7th year, considering 1: the older marauders had all graduated and 2: the pantheon’s falling out, so that’s why I used the lyrics I chose!

mad woman

For Mo, this song is blatantly Pandora, and for me it’s Dorcas. But, (again) it’s been a while since we discussed this, so I have a new narrative I’d like to propose to you. (Because we both had the same concept, just different characters.)

“Does a scorpion sting when fighting back? They strike to kill and you know I will.”

It’s both of them, from the perspective of Barty, Evan, and Regulus. They call them “mad women” because they don’t agree with their pureblood ideologies and want to be death eaters. The lyric “Everytime you call me crazy, I get more crazy,” feels like something Evan would think after all his fights with his sister. The lyric “It’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together,” seems like something Regulus would think. Obviously, I don’t think Pandora and Dorcas wanted him dead (considering the fact that Pandora definitely checked in on Regulus from time to time), but they wanted the bad part of him gone. And since they both left the rest of the Pantheon, that would’ve resulted in them growing closer.

And I guess in a way, they both went mad, but it’s up to your imagination. Dorcas went mad because she literally tried to go after the people who killed her girlfriend. And Pandora went mad because (if you headcanon this) she died trying to help Regulus destroy a horcrux.

If there was a song that played during a slow-motion montage of October 31st, 1981 the second Sirius finds out about the death and rushes over to the Potters, this would be it. It’s Sirius seeing his best friends lifeless body. The lyrics “With you I serve, with you I fall down,” symbolizes the way that when James “fell” (died), Sirius also “fell,” (falsely-accused) and even though it was unintentional, they went down together. Sirius felt like it was his fault. He switched the secret keeper and if only he’d trusted Remus enough, maybe it wouldn’t have happened.

Epiphany

“And some things you just can't speak about.”

"In the garden, would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only 17, I don't know anything, but I know I miss you."

betty

Again, I'm using the concept of the "affair" love story in folklore as instead the story of a secret relationship, so no adultery was committed in the making of this post. 💀

Basically, I think this song is James's guilt when he's falling for Lily all over again, but he's still not completely over Regulus. (Of course, he and Regulus are dead and gone at this point, but it still lingers).

It's him thinking through what he would tell Lily if she ever asked him if he still loved Regulus. (I don't think Lily would've cared personally, lol).

Also in my mind I think this song has to be from James's perspective, solely because of the lyric "She said "James get in!" (I'm now literally realizing that that line is mentioning how he fell into the affair… well that ruins everything… scrap that idea).

Regulus and him were kind of an affair in the way that it was never meant to last. And also, while James may not have had feelings for Lily at that very moment, it was obvious that James was in love with both Regulus and Lily. (Again- no cheating).

I don't know, Betty's kind of a tough one.

peace

This song is about Jily. Lily finding peace in the friendship she has with James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Marlene, Mary, everyone now that she's away from Severus. But she also knows there will never fully be peace with them, because of her blood status.

"Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other. Family I chose now that I see your brother as my brother."

And she wants to know if she's enough for James, even though she knows he's knee deep in love with her, but she gets worried because what if they die? What if they don't get to live the life they'd always dreamed of living? No matter how wonderful their life may seem together, she knows that there's always darkness around the corner, and she wonders if it's because of her.

hoax

This song is how Remus feels knowing that the person he trusted the most in life with his deepest and darkest secrets was supposedly worthy of commiting a crime just as dark. That's it. Don't have much else to say here 😭

"You knew it still hurts underneath my scars when they pulled me apart but what you did was just as dark."

the lakes

If this song isn't Regulus Black, then we don't know what is.

"Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die."

~

Okay wow that was a long one! If you made it this far, thank you!! Make sure to look out for Lover, coming soon to a theater near you!!!

[frogwithgun]

Omg what is happening guys?

Y'all loved part one so much lol

So screw it part two here!

Anyways enjoyyyyy

------------------------

"Dad come on! You've been sitting here forever." Nanako said, attempting to push Geto off the couch. Why was he on the couch anyways?

Great question.

See, Geto had the rare opportunity to meet the CEO of Six Eyes Inc.. Where he failed to recognize that unmistakable face and charm. And then got asked for his number. Which would have been a dream come true for the man.

The girls know from all those hours he'd spend watching interviews about Gojo Satoru that he had a celebrity crush of some sorts. So he should have been elated to give out his number! And he would have as well.

If he hadn't told him that he doesn't give out his number while working. "No. Let me die here." Mimiko came along and together the twins were able to push him off the couch and onto the floor. Still he didn't move.

"Dad come on! You need to go to work." Now they both tried to get him to sit up. And it wasn't easy to move him. So they just gave up. Making Geto hit his head on the hardwood floor. "Ow! Alright fine." He grumbled.

And that is how he found himself standing in front of that corner store wondering if he took a wrong turn. The store had been redesigned entirely. It looked expensive now. Jesus did they all want modern looks?

He brushed it off and walked inside. Stepping behind the register and into the break room. At least that was the same. The air conditioner still screamed in protest. The lights still flickered slightly. And the furniture was still broken.

Geto set his things down on the table carefully. He knew that slamming them down would make the table collapse. Whether that was from experience or not he wouldn't say.

He turned around and jumped. "JESUS CHRIST!" He cried and put a hand over his heart. The man who had snuck up on him looked far to formal to be there.

His hair was a almost perfect blonde. And he wore glasses that suited him well. His eyes were a shade of hazel that looked beautiful. And he wore a suit for some reason. The strangest part was that he had a gray suit, with a blue undershirt, and a yellow speckled tie.

Just what was going on? The man didn't smile. Nor did he laugh. He simple sighed. "Not Jesus. Nanami Kento." Geto nodded. Still slightly jumpy. Now he really was suspicious. "Uh hi? I'm Geto-" "Yes I know your name." Rude much? Geto thought to himself.

Nanami seemed to know what he was thinking. And chose to ignore it. "I am your new manager. Your place of work has been bought by Six Eyes Inc. and I have been chosen to oversee it. You report to me." This had to be some dream.

Or maybe it was a joke? Yeah that was probably it. Geto laughed and shook his head. "Alright, you got me. Hilarious." Geto started to gather his hair into a half bun. "Come on man, let's get to work." Nanami raised an eyebrow.

Then Geto stopped and mimicked him. "Stop that at once. You think I would joke about this?" Geto looked around the break room. Making a vague gesture around. "I mean, yeah." Nanami looked at the break room in disgust.

Then Nanami sighed. "You are not what I was expecting." He muttered. Geto nodded. The gauges in his ears were probably strike one. And the fact that he had lip piercings, an eyebrow piercing, and a septum piercing.

Of course that combined with the fact that he had a couple tattoos was probably what Nanami was talking about. "Are you in a gang or something?" Geto laughed and shook his head. "No. Just have a lot of tattoos." Nanami sighed.

This was going to be a headache.

---------------------

Yeah this is definitely a headache.

It had only been an hour into his shift and he's already had three customers complain about the quality of certain products. "Ma'am I just work here. I don't make the products." Despite that, none of them listened.

The only thing going for him was the fact that Nanami actually defended him. Unlike his previous manager. That was something going for him at least.

And Nanami happened to be rather observant as well. He could tell when a customer was about to blow up or when they were about to try and trick Geto. Which he did not stand for at all.

Nanami is terrifying.

---------------------------

"So Six Eyes inc., what's that like?" Geto was trying to make small talk with Nanami. And found it very difficult. "The CEO is a manchild and impulsive. He acts like he's 12 when he's 28. It's like he never grew up." Nanami said exasperated.

Geto nodded. I just wanted to know what it was like, not your whole life story. But ok I guess. "Oh that sounds bad." Nanami nodded. "It is. He's so immature and reckless. Honestly the only reason the company hasn't collapsed yet is because of me." I doubt it.

Geto felt like Nanami might hate Gojo. Just a little bit. "So why do you work there?" Nanami looked at him. Face blank. "Money." Well, at least he's straight forward? Nanami gave a slight huff and leaned his head back.

Still terrifying.

-----------------------

Ijichi jumps as the doors to the office slam open. A disheveled Gojo holding them open with a gleam in his eyes. "Ijichi!~" The man in question gulps. That sing song tone of voice is never a good sign. Not even when it's said in such a cheerful way.

Gojo strides into the room with a slight bounce in his step. "The store is mine now! So that means," he drums his fingers on the desk as he plops down into his plush leather chair, "he's my employee!"

Again, poor Ijichi cannot tell where this conversation is going. "Yes?" Gojo laughs and springs out of his chair. Striding over to Ijichi and tossing his arms around him. "Yes! That means I have an excuse to talk to him!" Because just talking to him like a normal person would be so hard. Ijich thinks to himself.

But he says nothing. To afraid of the white haired man to say anything other then "Yes sir." Which Gojo takes happily. "Now I just have to figure out how to get him in here." Ijichi looks at the still open doors.

So close, yet so far. "Ijichi! Don't run now! We were just getting started!~"Oh God he's trapped.

---------------

Three grueling hours later and Gojo has concocted a 'master plan'. And Ijichi is still staring longly at the now closed doors.

Gojo happily sits at his desk. Eating a lollipop. As he often does. In many interviews he has admitted to freely having a sweet tooth. He's more famous for it because of the amount of candy he eats in interviews.

Seriously it is a major problem. "Alrighty then! All I have to do is call him into my office and bada bing bada boom, we start dating." Of all plans Ijichi has ever heard, that one is probably the worst.

Scratch that, definitely the worst. "Sir do you even know anything about him?" Gojo puts a hand over his heart. "I am wounded! Of course I know about him! He's 6'3, has two daughters, works at the corner store I bought, and is the one."

"How do you know he has two daughters?" Gojo smiles. "He has hair on his work uniform. I imagine they like to hug him a lot. And the hair colors just didn't match his." Now Ijichi is just disturbed. "How long have you spent looking at him?"

Gojo waves his hand and turns away from Ijichi. "Oh just two or three years." He mumbles. And Ijichi just decides he'd rather ignore it then say something. "Sir you need to talk to him." Gojo rolls his eyes. "My good looks will talk for me."

--------------------

His good looks did not in fact talk for him.

He called Nanami and told him to bring Geto to his office. And now they are just staring at each other. Not saying a single word. And it's starting to look like Gojo might actually have to try.

"¥2,000 says Gojo fails and fucks it up." Nanami whispers to Ijichi. Who shakes his head. He's sure Gojo won't fuck it up. After all he's Gojo-

"You stupid prick! How could you?!" And he spoke to soon. Nanami holds his hand out to Ijichi who reluctantly hands over the money. "No I just meant that I could never because they're a waste of time!"

Oh Gojo is really fucking it up.

-----------------------

And here is part two! I'm sorry if this isn't written very well lol. English is very hard and I'm not the best with it. But I do hope you enjoy this shitty part two.

Lots of love tadpoles 💚💚💚

[zee-the-zebra]

Being "Gifted" and the Standards for Oneself: A Personal Analysis of Veritas Ratio

So this really isn’t a traditional analysis of a character. This is more just my extended thoughts on the character through a personal lens and through my personal experiences.

So I love Dr. Ratio. Not just because his design is wonderful, and I think he's funny. But I also relate to him on a deeply personal level. Which may seem strange at first, but when it comes to the subtext of his character it makes sense to me.

To start, everything about him screams former gifted kid. Which usually translates to "Neurodivergent child who wasn't diagnosed until years later". And like most former gifted kids, he was probably told he was going to great things. In his case, he was probably told he would be recognized by Nous and welcomed into the Genius Society. He had already proven himself to be a brilliant individual, so he believed it would only be a matter of time before he was invited.

But he never was.

Look at every single "genius". They are all selfishly motivated in some form or fashion. That's why he is never considered a genius. That is why he never gain the gaze of the Erudition. Because he wasn't willing to be selfish for the pursuit of knowledge.

And the thing is, he really doesn't need to be a genius. He's already completing his goals of trying to eliminate ignorance from the universe as is. He's already a brilliant man. He's already done so many amazing things already. Even with his somewhat pompous attitude, he genuinely desires to help everyone around him. He's a genuinely selfless person.

But it's not enough. It's not enough because he's selfless. To him, it's never enough. Because he doesn't, or rather can't follow the same path as the geniuses, he feels he isn't enough. That even with all his achievements and work, he's not enough. Because he isn't what he's supposed to be, what people expected him to be, he isn't enough.

That is what really resonates with me. It's that belief that you have to be "normal" or something else to be worth something. It's that belief in a standard set by a different version of you that makes you believe you're not enough. That you've only gotten worse as time goes on. That despite your best efforts you're never going to improve. That the only way to go is down. That because those standards aren't met, you're worthless.

And that's what makes him resonate so much with me as a character. Because I've been there. I had that spiral. I've felt like that I've only gotten stupider as the years go on because I couldn't reach those standards set by being "gifted". When in reality I simply just couldn't deal with my ADHD or Depression without help anymore. I wasn't getting worse, I just needed some help.

And it seems Veritas is already heading in that direction as well. He constantly speaks of following his own path, but perhaps he thinks it doesn't apply to him because of those standards. Perhaps he still believes he isn't enough.

After all, it takes a lot of time to unlearn that.

If you got this far thanks for reading. <3

[bookalicent]

yeah so this was insane

[zevranunderstander]

number #1 tactic that people use to not sound as racist as they are when they talk to black people: 'uhh so you AMERICANS need to stop pretending everything is about YOU. why should i know this im not from the us :/' (= is talking about like. a phenomenally internationally well-known black artist)

[torchickentacos]

i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.