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#and also I’m doing politics and history not just history ....
zepskies · 3 days
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One Exception
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Pairing: CJ Braxton x F. Reader
Summary: Joey has invited you to a party at Pacey’s apartment, and CJ has agreed to go, despite the contentious history between him and your new friends. He doesn’t want to be the reason you miss out on a good thing, but it also means he’ll have to hide his apprehension (and his alcoholism).  
AN: Here’s the sequel to Good Morning! This story takes place in 6.14 of the show, with a little twist.
Word Count: 4K
Tags/Warnings: Mature themes, but it doesn’t really warrant an 18+ rating. Angst, alcoholism, hurt/comfort, jealousy, fluff, tinge of spice, and implied smut.
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“Nice television,” CJ remarked, noting the giant monstrosity in the middle of this very loud apartment.
“See? Told you it’d be low-key,” you said.
More like high and off-key, CJ thought wryly.
Nickleback’s “How You Remind Me” was blaring. People you and CJ recognized from school were crowded in the living room around the TV, as well as milling around the kitchen with beers and solo cups, and it was pretty much a wall of sound that already grated on CJ’s ears. Pacey had to be in here somewhere too.
You squeezed CJ’s hand and gave him a sympathetic smile.
“You okay?” you asked.
He gave you a smile to hide his nerves. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
He was no stranger to parties. He just didn’t often find himself going to parties where the host had once introduced his face to a brick wall.
Before he truly got to know you, CJ had a one-time unintentional fling with your (former) dorm roommate, Audrey. She’d been spiraling out of control in an alcohol-fueled depression. He’d seen a kindred spirit in her and tried to help her. He just hadn’t known that she was still sort of in a relationship with Pacey, who had a mean right hook when he wanted to.
And then there was Jen, Audrey and Joey’s best friend. CJ felt the worst for hurting her along the way, unable to reciprocate her feelings…
And, oh yeah, you still didn’t know about that last part. 
CJ silently stewed in all of this when you led him by the hand to find your friend and current dormmate, Joey.
“Hey! Glad you could make it,” she said with her wide, doe brown eyes and a too-bright smile.
You gave her a quirking look when you hugged her in greeting. She smelled like vodka and orange juice, but you’d never known Joey to go too hard in the paint with her liquor.
She gave your companion a little wave. “Hey, CJ!”
“Hey,” he nodded with a smile.
“You guys want something to drink?” she asked, gesturing to the row of liquor bottles and various chasers behind her on the kitchen counter. You internally paused for a moment, glancing at your boyfriend, but you turned back to Joey with a smile.
“Yeah, Diet Coke would be great,” you said.
CJ gave you a curious look, but he asked for the same. Joey bobbed her head before she went to pour the drinks into some plastic cups.
CJ leaned in near your ear. “Sweetheart, you’re allowed to drink. You know I’ve been to parties before.”
In fact, you and CJ had met at a club party. One where Audrey had been led up to some guy’s room while she was drunk, and CJ had all but broken down the door to get her out for you and Jen.
“I know, I just don’t feel like doing alcohol tonight,” you told him.
It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. You just didn’t want to risk making CJ even more uncomfortable than he likely already was, being near Pacey. You’d asked Joey to talk to him for you—a plea for him to not try and kill your boyfriend.
And there your esteemed host was, coming over now.
“Heyyyy, good thinking,” said Pacey. He went over to Joey’s side when she turned to hand you and CJ your drinks. He grabbed another cup to pour one for himself. 
“Hey, man,” CJ greeted politely. His hands were in his pockets, trying to mask his stiffness.
Pacey hesitated, taking note of CJ, but the beat of tension broke between the two men when Pacey graciously stuck out a hand.
“Hey. Good to see ya…not with my girlfriend,” he quipped with a smile.
CJ’s was a bit more strained, but he gave a wry chuckle along with his handshake. Joey elbowed Pacey in the ribs.
“Ah, what?” he protested. She gave him a firm look, pursing her lips. Then she turned to you and CJ with a smile.
“Hey, you guys have any whiskey?” Jen cut in, as she sidled up to Joey. “I’m not so much in a beer mood, but whiskey I could do. Maybe it’s the burn I’m craving—”
She stopped short when she saw you and CJ. Her smile thinned.
“Oh! Hey, there,” she said.
CJ offered her nod, but his insides tightened. He watched you brighten and give Jen a hug that the other woman couldn’t easily reciprocate. Jen’s eyes were on him, even while she hugged you.
You and Joey then broke off to catch up for a bit (CJ encouraged you to it), while Pacey went back to watching a football game on the mega-sized TV with Jack. CJ was about to join them when Jen’s voice stopped him.
“You guys look good together,” she said. She had a glass of whiskey in her hand and a small smile on her face. Her blonde hair was shorter now, cut just below her ears. Her black halter-style dress suited her.
But she wasn’t you.
CJ smiled more genuinely. “Thanks.”
Jen was a good person. He was still sorry that he hurt her, but he wasn’t sorry for choosing you.
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You were happy to see CJ hanging out with his friend David, along with Jack and Pacey and some other guys from school. Meanwhile, you had the chance to catch up with Joey and Jen.
Maybe it would give you a chance to mend this weird rift of distance that had seemed to come between you and Jen in recent weeks.
You didn’t know where it came from, but you genuinely admired Jen as a person. She was smart, and she always spoke her mind and stuck to her principles. That was something you wish you had more of in yourself.
Now, she was a bit quiet while sipping her whiskey. Joey made up for it, with a kind of giggle-snort you'd never heard come out of her mouth before. You raised a brow, despite your smile.
"Yes, Josephine?" you teased.
"Sorry," she waved a dismissive hand. "Just remembered something. Like the fact that I really like vodka. I mean, it's clear, almost tasteless, so it's almost like drinking water, you know?"
You and Jen shared an amused look.
"Sure, that's what it's like," you said.
Joey's eyes went wide then. She leaned in close to you, leaning on your shoulder.
"Oh. Don't drink champagne though," she said, while eyeing Jen. She "whispered" loud enough to be heard over the music, and also hurt your left ear. "She once killed a girl with champagne."
Jen's mouth fell open incredulously. Your eyes went as wide as Joey's. This was some serious “girl time.”
"Wait, what?" you said.
Jen looked at her empty glass. "Well, would you look at that? Right on time."
She escaped to the kitchen to refill her tumbler, but you and Joey followed her; you out of morbid curiosity, and Joey because she too wanted more vodka than orange juice in her plastic cup.
Jen gave you a smirk as she filled up her glass.
"Don't worry, you're all safe. This is Jameson," she said.
You emitted some nervous laughter and leaned on the kitchen counter, trying to figure out where the joke was here. How the hell do you kill a girl with champagne?
“So are you sure you don’t want an actual drink?” Jen asked, gesturing at your soda.
“Oh, no. I’m fine,” you held up a dismissive hand.
“You sure?” Pacey said, coming up from behind your little group to find a beer. “I got your boyfriend a vodka soda. I can get you one too.”
Your eyes widened, though you tried to hide your alarm, smoothing your hands down your jeans.
“What?” you asked.
Pacey paused. He’d caught the surprise flitting across your face. “What?”
“Um…” Your hesitation came from trying to process information in record time. You looked over and saw CJ with David. Your boyfriend was indeed holding a different cup.
You returned your attention to Pacey. His brows were raised. Joey looked confused as well, while Jen was sipping at her own drink, in a way that hinted that she already knew what you were about to say.
“CJ doesn’t drink,” you explained.
Pacey brows popped higher. “Ah. He’s 21 though, right?”
“Yes, but he’s a recovering alcoholic,” you said with a sigh. You didn’t want to have to say that, telling CJ's business, but you didn’t know how else to explain why you were slightly freaking out.
“Oh…uh, sorry about that,” Pacey said.
“No, it’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it,” you said.
Pacey gave a wan smile and returned to the group around the TV, CJ included. You sighed and turned back to Jen and Joey.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know either,” Joey said.
“Nothing to be sorry about,” you said, shaking your said. “I’ll just check on him, if you guys don’t mind—”
Jen’s glass hit the counter, and she poured herself another whiskey on the rocks.
“By all means, check away,” she said.
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“Hey, sorry man. I didn’t know,” Pacey had said to him, with a look on his face that also said:
Sorry you’re a leper. That’s rough buddy.
CJ found himself withdrawing from the rest of the guys, even as the smell of vodka wafted from the solo cup in his hand. He glanced down at it with a short sigh, but he didn’t drink it, even though his hand itched to raise the cup to his lips.
You startled him a little when your hand curled around his arm.
“Hey,” you greeted in a whisper.
“Hey,” he smiled back at you. But the worried look on your face made his smile fall.
“Wanna hang out for a bit?” you asked, nodding at a quieter looking corner of the living room.
CJ waved at David with the hand that held his cup, and he followed you over to the far side of the couch. You sat on its edge, arms crossed, while he found a seat on the sill of a large window.
You pointedly glanced at his cup. “Have you been drinking?”
CJ’s lips pursed. He took in your stance: arms crossed, shoulders tense, lips pursed, eyes deeply concerned and wary.
Are we having fun yet? he thought dryly.
“See, I’d be more inclined to answer that question if you hadn’t lured me over here under false pretenses,” he remarked. Though he did set the cup down beside him on the windowsill.
“What false pretenses?” you asked, your brows furrowing.
“You don’t want to be with me. You want to check up on me,” he pointed out. “You’re looking at me like an inmate who got loose in the psych ward.”
You frowned then. “That’s not true. I’m just wondering why you would take an alcoholic beverage from Pacey.”
“Your friend offered me a drink. It seemed rude to say no, so…” CJ glanced down at his hands in his lap. Your head tilted in concern.
“CJ…” you sighed. “Why the hell would you ruin your sobriety over something like that?”
“I don’t expect you to understand,” he replied flatly.
“Oh really?” you said. Your lips pursed in irritation.
“I just didn’t want to get into it with a stranger,” CJ said, throwing up a hand. “But thanks for telling him that I don’t drink. Now he’s apologizing to me like I’m dying or something.”
A sharper sigh fell from your lips. “I told you we didn’t have to come here. I didn’t want to make you feel pressured to—”
“Again, you know this isn’t my first house party,” he said.
“Yeah, I know it’s not. So why? Why did this happen tonight?” you asked. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been so disciplined with yourself. You have a set of rules, and you follow them.”
“Yeah, well, did it ever occur to you that maybe I realized that I was too strict on myself?” he said. “That maybe we wouldn’t even be together if I didn’t bend those rules?”
Your mouth fell open incredulously, a bit of anger sparking your blood. He knew he shouldn't have said that. It just kind of flew out of his mouth, immediately sparking his guilt.
“Okay,” you snipped. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t be bending those rules at all if this is where it leads.”
CJ's lips pursed. “What, because I’ve been sitting here, spending the last hour debating whether or not to take a drink?”
He gestured at the cup beside him. 
Your eyes blinked wider, with even more surprise, and a heavy dose of confusion.
“Wait, what? Are you telling me that you haven’t been drinking tonight?” you asked.
“Is that going to magically change all the conclusions you just jumped to?” CJ retorted.
You closed your eyes with a sharp, exasperated sigh. When you opened them again, you frowned at him.
“Uh, yeah!” you exclaimed. "Of course it does, CJ!"
“Well, it doesn’t work that way,” he said. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it. Fine. Just like I’ve been trying to find some normalcy with you here. But apparently you find that wildly insulting.”
He was getting wildly defensive right now. You sort of saw where he was coming from, but it was still frustrating. You held a hand to your chest as your heart raced with the force of your relief.
“Look, I’m sorry for assuming. I’m just…I was worried about you,” you said honestly. “I knew coming here might be stressful for you—”
“I can handle stress,” CJ said. “What I can’t handle is you looking at me like I’m a powder keg waiting to explode.”
You raised up placating hands as you glared at him.
“Fine,” you said. “Sorry for being concerned about my boyfriend. I’ll try to curb that behavior in the future.”
At that, CJ’s frustration and anger simmered down, swiftly followed by more guilt.
You got up and blinked quickly, like you were fighting tears as you shook your head. You aimed to get by him, but he got off the windowsill and went for your hand. There was no drunk excuse for his behavior now.
No, this one was all him.
“Hey,” he said, in a softer voice. He looked down at you with softer eyes too. He could see now that you didn’t mean to make him feel less than, like you had to watch him so he wouldn’t mess up in front of your friends. No, you were just genuinely worried about his wellbeing. 
You looked up at him warily. He held your hand more securely in his.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I am,” he said, when he noted your raised brow. “I’m really grateful that you care about me. That you’re concerned about me. But I’ve been dealing with this for a long time. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be yourself either, even when we’re out here in the wild.”
A small smile twitched at your lips. You held his hand back.
“Out in the wild, huh?” you quirked a brow. CJ smiled back and brushed your cheek with his thumb.
“I just need you to trust me a little more,” he said.
You nodded, smiling when his forehead gently rested against yours. The ends of his hair tickled between your brows.
“Okay, I’m sorry too,” you said. “Next time I won’t be so quick on the draw.”
You leaned up for a kiss. CJ met you there, sweetly at first. Then he tilted his head and deepened the angle of his lips moving against yours.
“Ooh save that for later,” Joey said, loudly from behind you.
It made you jolt in CJ’s arms. You turned your head and met your friend with a wide-eyed look of confusion. She held an empty wine bottle in her hand and waggled mischievous brows.
“Come on, let’s play.”
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You really couldn’t believe that Joey was making you all play Spin the Bottle. For you, it was the stuff of awkward middle school horror stories of the highest form. She’d roped in you and CJ, Jen, Jack, Pacey and their roommate Emma, and Gus, a gross looking guy who was apparently her "fiancé" of some sort. 
Gus took the first turn, and got creative with it—giving Joey a nice lick on the cheek.
That’s what you get for making us play this dumbass game, you thought as you laughed.
Joey ended up giving Jack a sweet kiss, followed by him and Emma sharing a little lip-lock, and even Emma and Jen giggling as they came together for a peck.
But when it was Jen’s turn, the wine bottle spun, and spun…and landed on CJ. A chorus of “ooohs” came from the others.
You felt yourself bristle internally. It’s just a game, you reminded yourself. Just a stupid, stupid game.
You patted CJ’s knee and tried to school your face into amusement.
“You’re up, babe,” you said.
He looked a bit uncomfortable when he met your eyes, and then Jen’s. She wore a smile, though she was a little absent in the eyes. She’d been pounding hard liquor pretty much all night.
“All right, CJ. Let’s get this over with,” she teased.
He let out a subtle breath through his nose, but he uncurled his arm from around you so that he could lean over to meet Jen across the circle. Instead of the light peck that he was aiming for, she surprised him by taking his face in her hands and giving him a kiss deep enough to make him taste the burn of whiskey.
He parted from her with a flinch. His eyes blinked wide. A quick glance around the circle told him he wasn’t the only one who was surprised, but you were the only one he cared about. He settled back next to you and felt guilty for your muted disbelief, even though he wasn’t the real perpetrator here.
CJ frowned hard at Jen. She just smiled and crossed her arms around her legs, head bobbing to the tune of the alt rock music playing.
“Damn, Jen,” Pacey said, laughing uncomfortably. “That’s some dedication to the game.”
You were still shocked into stillness. You knew Jen was a bit deep into the bottle, but was she really drunk enough to try and make out with your boyfriend in front of you?
Joey finally dropped her hands from her face (she’d been watching the scene through the cracks in her fingers). She gave you an apologetic look. She was very effing drunk as well, you knew, but not make out with your boyfriend in front of you—drunk.
You finally looked over at CJ, not knowing who you should be more irritated with: Jen for sticking her tongue down his throat, or CJ for letting her.
“It’s your turn, bro,” Gus said. Not that he cared about whoever CJ landed on. He just wanted the chance to kiss another one of the girls. Preferably Emma.
CJ shook his head. “I don’t think I—”
“Go ahead,” you said. Your tone was a challenge, as were your crossed arms, and the tight expression on your face. “It’s just a game, right?”
That last part, you aimed at Jen. She finally had enough self-awareness to avert her drunken gaze. Your teeth were grinding.
Though you had to pause when you realized where CJ’s spun bottle had landed: right on you.
“Aw, well that’s good,” Joey said, with a nervous laugh that broke some of the tension in this little circle.
CJ let out a subtle breath of relief himself. But this was a whole new challenge as he met your steely gaze. He tried to give you a smile.
Your eyes fell. So with a small sigh, he gently took your chin between his fingers and tilted your face up to him, just before he leaned in to kiss you.
He plied you softly at first. His lips dragged against yours in a slow, lingering kiss. Then he angled his head away from the circle, away from prying eyes as he brushed his tongue across your lower lip, seeking entrance. You inhaled deeply, and you couldn’t help but let him in.
You uncrossed your arms and found his cheek with your hand. Your fingers soon delved into his hair, nails lightly scraping the back of his neck. He barely restrained a shudder.
“Ah, okay then,” Pacey muttered.
When you parted from CJ, your heart was racing, and there was a fire in your belly that you could see reflected in his eyes.
“I’m a little thirsty, you wanna…” he trailed. You nodded and let him help you off the ground where you all had been sitting.
CJ’s arm once again wrapped around your waist, and he led you into the first bedroom he could find. The door shut against the blaring music, the sounds of laughter and stories and dumb middle school games.
Until all that was left was you and CJ, and the sounds of quick breaths, clothes hitting the floor, and skin against skin.
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“I’m sorry about earlier. With the game,” CJ later said. “Jen took me by surprise.”
Much later, where you were tangled up in his arms and the sheets, both of you mostly naked and tucked under the covers. You felt bad that you didn’t even know whose bedroom this was.
Jack’s maybe? You could only hope so. That would probably be the least awkward situation if you two were caught in here.
But at CJ’s question, your blissful mood of moments before was wiped away. Your face dropped into a frown. You turned in his arms so that you could see his face, resting your head on his arm.
“Yeah, what the hell was that with Jen?” you asked.
CJ soothed a hand up and down your arm. He knew it was time for him to come clean with you, even though he knew it might make you look at him differently. He could only hope that it wouldn’t.
“Before you and I started talking, dating—well, you know what happened with me and Audrey,” he said, expelling a breath of regret. “Before then, Jen had feelings for me.”
Your eyes widened. By now you could’ve guessed that Jen wanted your boyfriend, but you had no idea it had started way back then. CJ looked you in the eyes.
“I just didn’t feel the same way,” he said. “Then Audrey and I happened, just the one night. But Jen…I know I hurt her, and I felt terrible. I still feel bad about that, because I never meant to hurt her. I just thought Audrey and I had a connection.”
“And then Pacey,” you supplied, realizing where this story was headed. A fight between Pacey and CJ. Audrey left for rehab in California. And Jen was left to nurse her wounded pride and hurt feelings…especially when you and CJ began for real.
You closed your eyes on a sigh. This explained why she’d been so frigid to you lately.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” CJ said. “I didn’t want to come between you guys, or hurt her more by pursuing another one of her friends…I just couldn’t help falling for you.”
At that admission, you softened. You caressed CJ’s cheek, and you brought him down to you for a kiss. Again, it was slow and unhurried, yet no less passionate.
Your lips parted from his first, so you could meet his eyes.
“I’ll talk to Jen,” you said. “But…I’m glad I fell for you too.”
You and CJ shared a quiet moment then, each of you processing, hands intertwined. It had you thinking about everything he said tonight, even before the game. 
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it. Fine,” he’d said. “Just like I’ve been trying to find some normalcy with you here. But apparently you find that wildly insulting.”
You sighed and squeezed his hand. It was comfortably trapped between his bare chest and yours.
“Just for the record, you don’t have to be ‘normal’ for me, or be what you think I want around my friends. Just be you,” you said, meeting his green-eyed gaze. “I do trust you, CJ. I trust that you want to be with me, and that you have a handle on yourself.”
CJ smiled ruefully. He ran his thumb across the back of your hand.
“You were right though. The truth is I did get a little nervous tonight,” he said. “Being here, seeing Pacey…it brought up all that drama again. I took that vodka soda from him, and I was thinking about drinking it.”
“But you didn’t,” you said firmly. “Because you’re strong. Stronger than anyone I know.”
CJ looked down at your hand joined with his, at your face, set with honesty and vehemence. You seemed to believe every word of what you were saying. That alone made him feel strong.
“Thanks,” he said with a smile.
It hadn’t been all that long, but he knew this felt right. It always felt right with you.
You smiled back at him and leaned up for a sweeter kiss.  
“Thank you for bending your own rules for me,” you teased.
CJ chuckled. He stroked your cheek and pressed another kiss to your forehead.
“You’re my one exception,” he said.   
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AN: As frustrated as CJ made me at times, somehow he weasels his way back into my heart. 😂💗 If you enjoyed this, let me know!
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
CJ Braxton Masterlist
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CJ Tag List:
@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007
@wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @roseblue373 @brianochka
@branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum @waywardxwords 
@deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady @leigh70
@clinicallydepresso @emily-winchester @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy
@kmc1989 @jackles010378 @jessjad @pieandmonsters @deans-spinster-witch
@idiotdyslexic @heartlessdelusions @chriszgirl92 @peytongoose @hobby27
@waynes-multiverse @lovelyunjinn @twinkleinadiamondsky
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having some Thoughts N Feelings abt elrond & elros + the historical practice of rulers taking children from the families of their tributaries or even their (nominal) allies as hostages
primarily that (1) the Politics of the Fëanorions having the heirs of Fingolfin AND Thingol AND All Three of the Three Houses as their hostages is like… soooo overlooked and underutilized in the fanworks I’ve seen
and (2) i think it would be rlly funny and also fucked-up if most elves are Totally Scandalized And Horrified by this Weird Human Behavior of “hostage-taking” if/when they see it happening in the second & third ages as human settlements & societies in M-E grow & develop, while Elrond is just like, “this is Normal, what are you Talking about”
#mine#silm#like the story can’t Not be informed by that practice/history to some degree but it’s also a weird fucked-up edge case bc like#at the point when m&m have e&e it’s like. the Entirety of their close family is either dead or absent or absent and Presumably dead#so e&e are functioning less as incentive for their immediate family to act a certain way & more as an all-purpose deterrent#to aggression or retaliation against the fëanorians by any remaining sindarin or noldorin forces who take issue with all the Crimes.#anyways it’s Vital to me that elrond (and elros too) be a Little Bit Feral and have just the Slightest weirdness about him#in terms of his expectations for How Stuff Works—bc there’s no way he’s getting out of his Canonical Early Life w/out being a BIT fucked up#(elros is equally Weird ftr but the atani don’t care as much bc they’re more adaptable than elves and also elros is The Literal King#so there’s nobody of high enough rank to judge him overtly and also i think the numenoreans are like His Weirdness Is Our Weirdness#ALSO also i think early numenor should have a patronage/fosterage system within the nobility that isn’t Officially inspired by All That#but isn’t NOT inspired by it either. which is yet another thing that could come full circle and develop (back) into being#more traditional hostage-taking For Assurance Of Loyalty And Good Behavior as the years wear on and numenor gets corrupted. anyways)#for the record i fall in the middle on the hostage-taking reaction spectrum. i think it’s fucked up to a degree but i also Understand it#as a political tool and i think i’m more forgiving/accepting of it than ur average second- or third-age elf would be#so i think elrond’s blasé reaction (which i have made up) is like. indicative that he does still have some Issues in terms of like#conceptualizing personal relationships and family ones & recognizing that uh being removed from ur family and raised#by their political ‘enemies’ may in fact have Certain (Negative) Emotional Impacts on ppl. (possibly bc he doesn’t Want to think abt it)#(bc that would force him to do some certain Unplesant Introspection and life is hard enough for a half-elf without giving urself#further Emotional Damage by trying to unpack the Absolute Mess that was ur childhood and adolescence in the midst of an apocalypse)#but that’s neither here nor there and these tags are long enough already#oh wait i’m not done going back to (1) i know we all imagine maedhros being Fucked Up in the aftermath of the Nirnaeth + kinslayings BUT#do you genuinely want me to believe that maedhros—THEE political luminary of beleriand—was Not thinking abt The Politics#when maglor pulled these two fucking kids out of the wreckage of sirion and was like ‘i’ll be sad if we kill them :(‘#imo it would have been IMPOSSIBLE to forget that they are the heirs of Absolutely Everyone and depending on his thoughts on the future#maedhros Must have had at least a couple of Plans for these kids ranging from ‘assure my people’s safety Whoever i have to kill for it’ to#‘protect two of the Extremely Few uncontroversial political leaders the elves have left & make sure theyre Competent for when they do lead’#however Wrecked he was by It All i dont think that the politics part of his brain Ever turns off & it might have been kicking into overdriv#at that point in order to Not think about the Everything Else that was happening. ok NOW i’m done#sorry for tag rant it’s just that i have Thoughts and they are Correct but not organized enough to make it into the Actual Post
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marxism-lelouchism · 6 months
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times like these make me feel acutely the urgency of joining an org but like. the major communist orgs suck and the east asian american orgs are all radlibs so i feel stuck!
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thesokovianaccords · 2 years
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This was the first recommendation in a video called “books about the history they don’t teach” and I’m going to launch myself into the SUN
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frecklenog · 2 months
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“self immolation as a form of extreme political protest has a long history all over the world, and aaron bushnell’s death should not be discussed solely as a suicide”
and
“people who are already hurting and vulnerable can do more to help while they are still alive than they could in death, and should not repeat aaron bushnell’s actions”
are statements that can and must coexist, actually.
he felt that he was complicit in genocide as an active duty us service member, and, to an extent, he was. but also as an active duty service member, he was legally not allowed to quit his job as a member of the military.
his final act was to take drastic measures to draw attention to a genocide that many people in this country are turning a blind eye towards, and i commend him for his sacrifice. it should be honored and remembered.
that doesn’t mean i want anyone to feel that they should follow in his footsteps.
he should not have been made, by nature of his employment, to feel that he was complicit in genocide, because those in power should not be funding and supporting it in the first place. but they are doing so, and he made it clear that did feel that way. we can’t change that. that doesn’t give us the right to dismiss and ignore his actions.
“this [genocide] is what our ruling class has decided is normal.” and it shouldn’t be.
keep bushnell’s message in mind as you organize. protest, fundraise, call your representatives. these are actions that have a tangible effect. and they do far more to help than dying.
but i’m not going to condemn him, just as i’m not going to condemn the likes of thích quảng đức. i’m not going to say that his death was worthless, because it brought undeniable attention to the matter at hand, despite attempts by american media to gloss over why he did what he did.
i understand where people are coming from — self immolation is a deeply disturbing thing to witness, even blurred. i was very deeply affected by the video. but that’s exactly why he did it; to get through to people that this matters.
i don’t want anyone else to die, either. but remembering aaron bushnell and what he died for is not synonymous with encouraging suicide.
his last words were “free palestine” and, as people living in countries that are funding extermination, it is our job to carry on that cry until palestine is free.
that means living to see it through. ensure that he did not die in vain.
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Yes transphobia is stupid and annoying in general but smt specifically that annoys me is when transphobes go “oh this person has mutilated themselves with hormones used to chemically sterilize rapists”
Like
Like yes but
Do you know what that hormone was used for before they found out it reduced libido in men??
They used it to halt too fast growth in children that could give them health risks
It was a fucking type of puberty blockers
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glitchydyke · 7 months
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(i know there’s so much more to alternative styles than just the clothes, i.e music and politics and history, but for simplicity’s sake i’m just mentioning the actual fashion here. also please rb if u would like so more ppl see bc i am so so interested in this :] <- autism)
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10 worst ways to start a book
1. An irrelevant point of view
It's extremely frustrating as a reader to read the opening scene of a novel, get invested in the story and start rooting for the POV character, only to have that character never show up again or show up as an unimportant character.
Your readers will feel betrayed. Why did they get emotionally invested in this character? Why did they care?
One of the most important functions of your first scene or chapter is introducing your main character and getting the reader to root for them.
Don’t waste that crucial moment on an unimportant POV.
2. Too many characters
Starting to read a new book is usually a bit confusing. You have to get to know new characters, a new world, a new writing style etc.
Don’t add to that confusion by introducing two dozen characters in the opening scene. Readers won’t remember their names or care about them; they’ll just feel overwhelmed and confused.
Additionally, readers will also struggle to root for the main character, because there are too many other people crowding the scene.
3. Telling
My name is Lisa. I’m a short, feisty brunette who loves horse riding. I have two best friends called Anna and Daniel, and we carpool to college every day. I have a crush on Josh, one of my tutors, but he’s twenty-seven and isn’t interested in me.
Telling is boring. It has its place, but the start of your novel is not it. The above paragraph could have been an interesting scene in which you showed the reader all the information via action and dialogue.
Unless you’re using subversion to surprise the reader, e.g., My name is Lisa and I’m a class-three demon, don’t start with telling. 
Immerse the reader in the story through action, dialogue and the senses. Show us who the main character is, don’t just tell us.
4. Description
Please don’t start your book with a page-long description of the setting. In fact, I would recommend not starting with description at all. 
Yes, a few lines of description later in the opening scene is fine. But the reader needs to care first. 
No matter how beautiful your writing is, readers won’t be sucked in by a five-paragraph description of a field.
5. Worldbuilding info dump
Please don’t start your book with an explanation of your world’s climate, politics, history, magic system etc. 
Once again, the reader needs to care first. 
There needs to be action and conflict and a compelling plot. The world exists as a backdrop for the story and the characters – it’s not the protagonist and it shouldn’t take up the opening scene.
6. The dream sequence
The main reason that this is a bad way to start your book is that it’s been done way too many times.
But that’s not the only reason.
It also feels like a betrayal to the reader, because they got invested in the story and the character and the events, and then you tell them it was never real.
And oftentimes the storyline and world of the dream is much more interesting than the actual story, which makes the latter look very boring in comparison.
7. Looking in a mirror
Once again, it’s just been done too much: A character looking in a mirror and describing their physical appearance to the reader. 
Firstly, no one describes their appearance in detail when they look in the mirror.
Secondly, the reader doesn’t even know who this person is. We don’t know if we’re interested in the character yet. We don’t know why we should care. So, we don’t want a detailed description of the character’s appearance right off the bat.
Show us interesting aspects of your main character’s personality, hobbies and life. Weave in physical description as it becomes relevant. It’s not important enough for the very first paragraph.
8. Starting way too early
Yes, most books don’t start with the inciting incident (although I recommend that they do), but the start of your book shouldn’t be too far away from your inciting incident.
So, don’t start with a long scene describing the main character’s everyday life. The readers want the thing to happen.
Providing context and introducing the main character is fine, but don’t leave the reader hanging for too long before you get to the good stuff.
9. Trying too hard
“Your first line has to be amazing and hook the reader. It needs to be something no one has ever read before.”
I bet you’ve heard that piece of advice hundreds of times. It’s not bad advice, but taken to the extreme, it creates an opening that is disjointed, conflated and confusing.
Your first scene should introduce your character, story and voice. So, don’t write a single line of profound purple prose that has very little to do with your actual story as a first line.
Focus on writing a good story. Introduce the reader to the book and make the main character intriguing. You don’t need a mind-blowing first line.
10. The lesson
Most books have a theme or something the author wants to say. Oftentimes, that takes the form of a life lesson.
This is good, but the lesson needs to be subtly woven into the story.
It should not be forced down the reader’s throat in the very first scene.
Don’t tell me what I’m going to learn, show me the lesson through the story.
If you’d like to read a Fantasy Adventure novel that does not have any of these opening mistakes, check out my debut To Wear A Crown.
Reblog if you found this post useful. Comment with your own tips for writing a good opening scene. Follow for similar content.
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finelinevogue · 10 months
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when in rome
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summary - just a few random clips from a holiday to rome
word count - +3k
pairing - husband!harry x reader
a/n - can’t lie… this could literally be set anywhere and there’s no real plot, but i hope yous enjoy it all the same <33
at the airport
“Hey, give me that.”
Harry holds out his hand for you to pass over the suitcase to him, claiming that he should be the one to pull it not you.
You were originally going to have two suitcases, but it turns out that neither of you were packing heavy and so one suitcase it was.
“I’m not incapable.” You sigh.
“I’m not saying that. I would just feel better if y’let me pull it.” Harry plucks your fingers off the handle one by one, distracting you with a kiss as he does so to make it easier for himself, before claiming the suitcase for himself.
“I’m not gonna argue with you at this time in the morning.” You give him another sigh.
You walk behind Harry as he directs you from the Uber to the terminal door.
It is holiday time and you and Harry have decided on a getaway to Italy, Rome. One of the most romantic cities in Europe and famous for its history and pizza.
Harry decided that you would fly Economy, rather than taking the jet, because it was more practical for a bunch of different reasons that you didn’t really understand.
Hence why you are grumpy now.
You had to get up at 2AM, to get and Uber and be through security before your flight leaves at 7:30AM.
Clad in one of Harry’s oversized hoodies and gym shorts, your legs are cold, your eyes are heavy from tiredness and your body aches from the run Harry made you go on yesterday.
You rub your eye free of sleep and accidentally bump into Harry as he’s stopped.
Harry is wearing a similar hoodie to you, because he couldn’t wear his favourite one due to lending it to you, running shorts and of course a pair of sunglasses and a hat.
“Sorry. After you.” Harry politely lets an old couple pass, which is why you were stopped short.
He turns around to you to make sure you’re okay and smiles when he sees you unattractively yawn. You look like a small kitten who has just been awoken.
“There better be a coffee shop somewhere in here.” You say as you walk through the doors.
The airport is already busy with hundreds of people buzzing to get out of this dreary country and into hotter destinations.
“Also, I love your fans, but I swear to God if one of them approaches us this morning…” You say.
Harry chuckles, “Yeah? What will you do, love hmm?”
“Turn into the Hulk.”
“I feel sorry for them already.” Harry smiles and you hit him in his arm as a joking reply.
You stand together in a snaking queue to check in and then to get through security, until you’ve made it to the other side successfully. Also, without anyone publicly exclaiming that Harry is here.
You hold Harry’s hand as you walk next to each other out of security.
“Y’wanna get coffee first? Or find somewhere to sit?” Harry asks you, hoping you’re listening but he can’t tell because your hood is up.
“Dunno.” You say indecisively, beyond tired.
“Let’s go find somewhere and then I’ll go get us coffees, yeah? You can just sit and look pretty.” He squeezes your hand.
“No. I wanna stay with you.” You wrap your other hand around his forearm and hold him close, pressing your face against his arm also.
“Okay, okay. Well let’s go this way then.”
Harry directs you to the coffee bar and you both stand in another queue as you wait to order.
“Y’want your usual?” Harry asks and you nod.
When Harry’s called over, he makes sure to bring you with him and scans the bakery section one more time.
“Hi honey! What can I get for you?” The woman behind the counter asks.
“Morning. Hi. Um, can we have one croissant, one pain au chocolat, one black coffee and one latte with a shot of caramel please. Thank you.”
As Harry pays on your shared bank card, you thank him with a small voice.
“Thank you.” You hug into his arm more.
“It’s okay.” He kisses the top of your head. He wants to kiss your lips, but he also wants to remain as PG as possible in such a public space just in case someone is secretly filming.
After you’ve collected your order, you go and find a table to sit at. You find a small booth that overlooks the runway, so you can watch the planes take off. Harry knows it’s one of your favourite things to do in an airport, so he chose this spot on purpose.
You make small talk as you eat, both of you sat on the same side of the booth so that you can lean on Harry to rest once you’ve finished.
You talk about the planes taking off and your potential itinerary for the next couple of days. Harry just listens to your rambles as he finishes your pastry too, because you couldn’t finish it.
“Can I sleep on you on the plane?” You ask.
“‘Course y’can, baby. Think we have a window seat and a middle seat.”
“Can I sit by the window?”
“Yeah. You can lean on my shoulder if y’want.”
“Please. Thank you.”
“Anything for you, love, you know that.” He kisses your forehead again.
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checking in
You get out of the Uber first.
It is already so humid here in Rome and it’s just gone midday.
Your hotel is right in the centre of Rome, just a few streets over from the Trevi Fountain and then a few more streets over from the Gucci store too.
Harry made sure to book somewhere that would be accessible to the majority of everything. Money wasn’t an issue. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise you it Harry even booked the most expensive hotel in Rome.
The porter greets you and takes your suitcase for you. Harry tops the driver and thanks him with the Italian he’s been learning.
Harry takes your hand as you walk inside, thankful for the air conditioning in the building.
“Buonjiorno.” The man behind the desk greets you.
“Buonjiorno.” Harry replies. “We’re here to check in?”
You were a little early but decided you would try to check in anyways.
“Of course. Name, please?”
“Styles.”
“Both of you?”
“Yes.” Harry can’t help but smirk as he speaks. You nudge him, because you feel the same way.
“I have… Uh, Y/N Styles and Harry Styles?”
“Sí.” Harry nods.
“For 4 nights?”
“Sí.”
“Okay.” The man shuffles around some papers and types some things on the computer. “So your room number is 406. This is the fourth floor. You can take the lift up, which is just over there. Breakfast is included, which will be on the terrace between 7 and 10.”
“Amazing.” You smile for what feels like the first time since landing.
You’ve been so tired that you have found it hard to keep your eyes open and pretend like you’re alive.
“The pool is on the roof and will be open 7AM until midnight. The gym facilities are open all the time. Room service is three euros per call. These are your key cards and we hope you enjoy your stay.”
“Grazie.”
“Grazie.” You and Harry both thank the man and make your way over to the lift.
A few minutes later and Harry is opening your hotel room door.
You step inside and immediately fall in love. It’s decorated with marble floors and high ceilings with gorgeous artwork - probably that inspired of the Sistine Chapel.
The bed is a large queen size bed with lots of pillows and comforters. There’s a long chair at the foot of the bed and a sofa just across from that.
The most captivating thing about the room is the three sets of french doors, which all open onto a small balcony. There’s sheer curtains draped over the ceiling length doors, softly blowing in the wind.
Beyond that is the view that money did actually buy.
A view of the majority of Rome. You could see St Peters perfectly and Harry mentioned that the sun set will be visible from this room too. All the small buildings below and the little people on their way to work or tourists wandering.
“And?” Harry prompts.
“And what?” You twirl around to see him wandering over, after having shut the door and abandoned the suitcase.
“Is this okay?”
“Is that a serious question?” You raise your eyebrows.
You open your arms as Harry walks into you, wrapping his arms over your shoulders. He breathes you in and squeezes you tight and you follow suit.
“Mm. Want you to have the best time.”
“Harry, babe, this is perfect. More than perfect. Thank you for everything.” Your voice is muffled by speaking into Harry’s jumper.
Harry kisses you on the head a couple of times.
“Do y’want to go for a nap and then go have a wander?”
“Yes please.”
“M’kay.”
It doesn’t take you both long to get comfortable in the bed. Harry opens a door to let in a better breeze and the air con is on full to make sure you don’t overheat.
Harry lays behind you, where you’re laying on your side. Your hood is off now, because Harry likes to lean his face into your neck when you sleep. He likes to breathe in your homely scent and warmth.
His hand lays on your stomach, underneath his jumper, and rubs little circles with his fingers.
You start giggling and Harry asks what’s up with you.
“Tickles.” You hum softly, quite relaxed by the funny feeling.
“Does it now? Y’skins so soft, so I can’t help myself.”
“Won’t be soft forever. Especially if you keep on trying to get me pregnant.”
Harry kisses your neck and leaves a little mark with his teeth. His hand spreads over the span of your stomach and holds it there.
“Won’t care. When you’re pregnant, I am only going to love you and your body twice as much.”
“You say that now…”
“And I’ll say it again when the time comes.” Harry cute you off from any more deprecating thoughts. “Now shush. I’m trying to make sure you get your beauty sleep.”
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exploring back alleys
You and Harry walk hand in hand down a busy street in Rome.
It is so hot and humid that your bodies are so sticky from the heat, but you hold onto each others hands nonetheless because you are simply that attached to one another.
Harry leads the way, walking around the crowds of tourists and past random shops selling art and Rome tat.
He turns around and catches you admiring all the colourful buildings and wonderful Roman architecture, and he can’t help but smile at your wonderous face.
You feel a tug on your hand Harry’s holding and giggle a little when you feel him pulling you towards a back alley.
He runs a little quicker and you have to keep up with him. You check behind you to see if he is running away from something, but no one is following and you think he’s mad for running now.
“Harry!” You laugh as he makes a harsh right and pulls you down another side street.
This one bends slightly in the middle so you can’t see the street entrance either which way.
You don’t have the time to ask any questions before Harry is pushing you against a brick wall painted apricot. He holds his hands on your face and presses his lips hungrily onto yours.
You’re not only hot from the weather, now, but also from how attracted your husband is in this moment.
You groan as he steps forward so he’s leaning infinitely close into your body. You sigh when he moves his head to the side to kiss your better, cupping your hands over his to get a guide on which way he will move next.
When he pulls away you sadly pout.
He laughs at your expression and decides to kiss you again, even longer this time. He kisses and kisses you until you make the move to pull away, before you pass out from lack of breathing.
You laugh first and then Harry follows.
Both of you have never felt happiness like this. Just happy being simply together.
“You’re so…”
“I’m so what, baby?” Harry laughs breathlessly.
“I don’t even know.” You laugh, cupping his cheek and flitting your eyes between both of his as you try to decided which one is prettier. “I do know that I love you, like a lot.”
“Only a lot?”
“Well, like as much as the universe is big.” You give him a warm summers smile.
“Oh well that’s alright then.”
He leans forwards and seals his lips with yours again. You kiss him with all the love you have pocketed for him and don’t let him go until you hear footsteps approaching.
It’s a man and his daughter on their way somewhere.
As they walk past, Harry and you loosen your hold on one another as you don’t want to display too much PDA.
Once they’ve gone Harry giggles.
“What?” You ask.
“Just thinking how that’ll be me someday. Lost in a city with our daughter ‘cause I’m too stubborn to use a map and she’ll probably be distracting me with her gorgeous face she got from her mum…” He trails off.
“That was an intense thought, babe.”
“Mm. It’s been on my mind a lot lately. Having a baby with you, I mean.”
“It’s been on my mind too.”
That’s all that’s said, but you both smile at each other knowingly that as of today you’re starting your future together.
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dining out
Harry looks divine.
Dressed in an unbuttoned white linen shirt that sits on top of a white vest, with a pair of dark navy blue cotton shorts and his rusty old white vans, he has never looked so gorgeous.
It’s the subtle burn and tan of his skin that has you melting for him.
You are currently clipping his hair back with one of your small hair grips for him. He can do it himself, but he prefers it when it comes from you.
You’re both freshly showered and very hungry.
Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap is playing in the background as you both get ready for dinner in your hotel room. After walking through Rome for the day, you spent some time in the swimming pool together and then showered together before getting ready.
“Y’look beautiful, m’love.” Harry says, watching you through the mirror.
“Thank you.” You speak softly, cheeks flushing over his compliment.
“This red dress on you is just… it’s perfect. You look perfect.”
Your red mini dress shows of your legs that Harry admires so much, and paired with a pair of platform sandals you look like a model straight from Vogue.
“Feel pretty, actually.”
“Good. Y’look prettier than anyone has ever looked in that dress.” Harry knows how to charm you best.
“Baby, you need to stop complimenting me otherwise we’ll miss our reservation.” You laugh, finishing clipping his hair.
“Can’t help myself. So lucky you chose me.” Harry picks your ring finger up and kisses over the ring that symbolises eternity between you.
“I’ll always choose you. You are too handsome not to.”
An hour later and you’re sitting at the restaurant.
Harry pulled your chair out for you and made sure you were comfortable before sitting in his own chair.
The restaurant is on a lovely little side street, decorated with fairy lights across the terracotta wall. There are ivy vines growing there too and the atmosphere is just peaceful.
There are a few families and other couples here too. It’s not a very fancy restaurant as Harry admitted that the best restaurants in Italy are the most homely and authentic ones.
The waiter was already fetching some water for you whilst you looked the menu.
“What are you thinking, baby?” You ask Harry, from where he is sat across from you.
“Maybe just a Margarita pizza.”
“Really?” You question his taste in food.
“Need something simple but good tasting tonight.”
“Okay, well at least get the bruschetta with me for starters?” You ask, wanting to share something with him.
“Sounds good, yeah.”
When the food comes, you feed Harry some of your pasta whilst Harry gifts you a slice of pizza. Both dishes are beautiful and cooked perfectly.
You both laugh and have the most amazing evening.
The best moment of the evening is when an old couple walk past you, holding each others hands.
“You two are so beautiful together.” The old man says.
“Thank you so much.” Harry smiles and holds your hand in his from across the table.
“Your love reminds me of ours. Precious. Forever.” He goes on to say and you have to swallow back the tears from how sweet his words are.
Harry smiles at you.
“Definitely forever.”
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sturniolosass · 3 months
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Sick - a Matt Sturniolo x Reader
Summery - Nick and Matt are sick with Covid and you offer to come and help take care of them.
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*fluff, like…pure fluff*
It’s Tuesday Night and you get a call from your boyfriend Matt letting you know he tested positive for covid, Your first reaction was to ask if he need anything medicine, soup, water. He had stated that he and the boys were fine without it and that you should stay home and rest but you insisted. So ending the call you decided to head over to him and his brothers home to help take care of all three of them.
Before heading to the house you decided to run to your local grocery store and grab a few things for the soup you’d be making and also a box of tea.
Once you checked out you started making your way to the house.
Once you arrived you knocked on the door urgently and saw Chris, you urgently pulled a mask over your face
“Yo! I’m good, i don’t have Covid…” he said
“ohhh oh my god, i thought all of yall were sick as fuck” you stated with a sigh of relief
“where are Matt and Nick?” you asked with a sense of panic
“they are both locked away in their rooms..i wouldn’t let them contaminate you” he laughed
“I don’t think it would matter hence i put myself in this situation. Wanna help me cook?” you ask Chris hoping he’d say no remembering his cooking history
“uhhhh im not sure you want that..” Chris replied
“you know what! you’re right” you replied rushing over to the stove
You put everything down on the counters before rushing around the corner hall to Matt’s room. Knocking on the door you say “Matt, are you hungry? How’re you feeling?” then listening in for a response you hear counting..
“1..2..3..4..5” Matt counts..
You call again “Matt?!”
Matthew then hurriedly opens the door wearing a mask he then says “what’re you doing here..? you’re gonna get sick! go home!” he rushing griefs to shut the door.. but your foot’s in between the hinges “i wanted to come and take care of you guys i know you guys don’t really know how to do that yourself.., have you even had any medicine..?” you ask worriedly “yea..” Matt looks around suspiciously “well no..but still i don’t want you getting sick, you should go home, coming here was sweet though i really appreciate you thinking of us honestly” he replies expecting you to leave which you do.. but not the house
Time to cook..
You grab all your ingredients and start making the soup. Onion, Celery, Garlic, Carrots, Noodles, etc.. once everything is cooking you decide to throw on a movie within the same time in which Chris decides to come up stairs from the ground floor… “sooo like, I know i’m not sick but that smells oh so yummy” he says in a weird yet entertaining voice “can i please have some too?” he begs. You look at him funny and reply “I mean.. i guess i’m trying to make enough so that there’s at least enough for two days..” he then notices the TV and asks “what is this? saltburn or some shit?” you look at him in disgust “No. it’s The Turning” you say matter of factly. “what is it about” he asks, “i don’t know for real, just some indie horror film” you tell, “oh alright well please let me know first when the food is done” he pleads. “whatever.” you say.
One the food is done you call up the guys one by one to grab a bowl. First Chris cause he asked so kindly, then Nick.. Once Nick comes down he seems fine, Then he starts coughing a lot, causing you to worry and offer him tea. He politely declines claiming to not enjoy tea that much. He then heads back upstairs and Matt comes out of his room after 5 minutes..
“Hey, I really appreciate you coming here and treating me and my brothers so sweet.. i was on the phone with my mom and she really thanks you because she can’t be here to do these things for us” he says lovingly smiling up at you with his cute little red nose from blowing it all day. “no problem, i love you guys a lot. you especially, so i have no problem with probably leaving here sick just to make sure you guys are ok” you reply. Matt them comes behind you whilst you’re stirring the soup on the low heat and gives your back a nice firm hug. “I love you” he says. At first you’re very caught off guard because that’s the first time he’s spoken those three words to you.. but coming to your senses you immediately respond “i love you too, Matt” in to which he smiles in the crook of your neck and kisses it. You turn and hug him back.
“Want some soup or tea?” you ask politely. “Sure, i’ll have some tea” he responds thankfully. “i already had food like a few hours ago. thank you though.” he adds. You pop a Peppermint tea in the keurig and he sits at the table. “i’m glad you’re here, i feel like i’ve been going crazy locked in my room all day.” he speaks. “I was counting my steps as i paced my room earlier because my apple watch felt i was being ‘lazy’ even though i’m quite frankly sick as all hell” he adds.. “hahaha yea i heard that, i was so confused” you reply coming in for a kiss in which he hesitates “i don’t wanna risk your chance of getting more sick” he states in to which you reply “the sickness is airborne, love. if im gonna get sick it’s gonna happen regardless. i’ve already stepped in the house.” leaning in you kiss his lips. The keurig finishes and you mix a little bit of honey in his mug and hand him the cup.
Nearing the end of the night you and Matt head into his room to relax, figuring you’d already be sick Matt invites you to stay the night knowing it shouldn’t get any worse from here unless you go home where your family lives. You both decide to watch a movie, Matt begging you to help him finish saltburn stating he was bored with it in the first 20 minutes. You oblige only to regret it seeing he’s only watched a small portion of the ‘weird’ movie, however you continue watching just to keep him company and watch him fall asleep comfortably in your arms...
The End :)
a/n: idk how i feel about the end of this.. but you know what, its my first and i’ll only get better as i keep going.. :)) THANKS FOR READING!
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lostgirlmuseum · 6 months
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Pulse 💗
Summary: Bucky can hear your heartbeat through the wall, and he can tell everything isn’t alright.
Pairing: Bucky x gn!Reader
Words: 600 (exactly 600, holy moly)
Warnings: None really, just mentions of anxiety and adhd. Wrote this within an hour, sorry if its bad
A/N: Self indulgent fic alert! This goes out to all my peeps who struggle with ADHD/anxiety. It sucks, but hang in there!
Divider credit: @saradika
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Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Come in,” you called, not looking up from the papers on your desk.
A brief second passed, and the door creaked open. A cautious Bucky peeked his head in.
“Hey, are you okay?” He asked.
You suddenly became aware of your leg bouncing 70 miles an hour, and forced yourself to stop. 
“Yes, why?” You replied, ignoring the urge to get up and walk around.
“Well, I—” he hesitated, and brought his hand to rub the back of his neck, “I was passing by and I heard your heartbeat going really fast—super hearing and all that,” he awkwardly chuckled.
“120,” you stated, glancing at your watch.
“What?”
“My heart rate is 120 right now.”
“That’s pretty high for just sitting,” he responded, having a hard time hiding his concern.
“Well, y’know, anxiety,” you breathily laughed, but it wasn’t that funny.
“What are you anxious about? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Nothing.” You sighed, lowering your pen and facing him. At this point he was now in your room, perched in front of your door.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
“Seriously, I’m kinda freaking out over nothing right now.”
“C’mon, you’re always telling me I’m valid for having concerns, you are too.”
“No, I mean there is literally no singular thing I’m anxious about right now—it’s just physical anxiety, the general feeling that I’m going crazy, or dying, I don’t know, both I guess. That sounds so dramatic. I really am fine. I mean, I’m not fine, but I am, yeah?” You rambled on and on, and cursed yourself when you noticed your leg had started bouncing again.
“I don’t think you’re okay, do you want me to bring you to Dr. Cho?”
“That’s sweet of you, but I don’t think there’s much she can do. The worst of this should pass in thirty minutes anyway, it’s just my meds.”
“Oh.” 
You could tell Bucky wanted to ask more, but wasn’t sure if it was polite.
“I have ADD. ADHD, whatever you want to call it. So I take medicine so I can focus on certain tasks, like these reports. And it does help me focus, but it’s also a stimulant, so it also gives me a lot of anxiety, which is totally awesome!” You scoffed.
“Why do you keep stopping your leg from bouncing?”
“I don’t know, I don’t want to annoy you.”
“If bouncing your leg makes you feel better, it doesn’t bother me.”
“I feel like I’m embarrassing myself,” you whined. 
Beep.
You looked at your watch.
“Oh, look at that, 126!”
“Do you—would…would a hug be something that would help you? Calm you down?” He offered, casually putting his arms out for emphasis.
“Sure, Bucky,” you smiled, and stood up to meet him halfway. You knew it wouldn’t fix it, but it certainly couldn’t hurt.
Bucky wrapped you in a big embrace, and you were shocked by how warm and teddy-like it was. You gave a small sigh, and rested your face in his neck, knowing you weren’t going to be the first to let go.
He held onto you for longer than you expected, just calmly swaying together in your room. 
To your dismay, he eventually let go of you. You were about to thank him and return to your work, but he gently grabbed your wrist and brought your watch to his sight. 
“107. Good, but I think we can do better than that,” he sweetly smiled, and wrapped you back up into his arms. 
“It might take a while.” You mumbled into his shirt.
“As long as it takes.” He cooed.
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A/N: Should be either A) studying for a history exam I have tmw, or B) writing my stupid essay that the rough draft is due tmw, but I wrote this instead bc I’m procrastinating  HELP ME
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“Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) wasn’t quite ready for showtime.
The conspiracy theorist lawmaker was given the boot from a touring production of “Beetlejuice” in Denver on Sunday for being disruptive, according to multiple reports.
The Denver Post said three theatergoers complained that Boebert and her companion were vaping, singing, recording the performance and causing a disturbance at the Buell Theatre.”
What a f—king clown and total embarrassment to Colorado and America. If you watch the video she’s clearly drunk and mouthing off. Of course there was the obligatory “do you know who I am” and “I’m going to call the mayor.” You can also see all the support staff at the theater smirking and laughing at the drunken whore as she’s being escorted to the door. The footage also shows her singing, waving her arms, laughing hysterically, and her new “boyfriend” twirling her at least three times. Yes boyfriend, that’s not her hubby “Peepshow” Boebert who she is divorcing because the whole country learned of him being a pedo who beat her (even while pregnant) and the kids (the oldest of which is making her a grandma at 36).
This is what happens when the GQP, via the Koch family and Ted Cruz, takes skanks and scumbags straight out of the trailer park and installs them into Congress as paid crisis actors.
I’m not a misogynist or an elitist, characterizations of her are accurate, as are those of her family, friends, and colleagues. Certain people don’t belong in certain professions. She literally went from the McDonald’s drive through straight to Congress. After dropping out of high school and getting a “compassionate” GED on her 4th attempt.
Sorry but high level politics requires a background in law, history, economics, political science, etc. There’s no “real world” life experiences that can prepare you for the incredibly complex machinations of representing 365 million people. It’s not a joke and seats shouldn’t be filled by clowns. The Koch family and their political think tanks funneled $137,000 dollars to her via the Ted Cruz Victory Campaign to get her elected. Ted delivered the check in person to her at a discrete hotel where Koch operatives claim she performed sexual favors in exchange.
There are many documented screw-ups in her life and many, many allegations of more. Where there’s smoke there’s fire. Even with this latest incident on tape and documented she will be defended by MAGAts who just want to give the finger to the establishment and “own the libs” no matter what the cost to them and the country.
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weirdmageddon · 6 months
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i posted this on twitter also but it’s still eating at me. i’m so fucking embarrassed to be jewish rn. i dont want to be associated with this ongoing bullshit from israel. why do we need our own state. theyre just making every jew across the globe look bad in general even though many of us are conflicted about zionism and the legitimacy of israel as a state
people have hated jews throughout history for no fuckin reason but now israel exists but now its like. GIVING people reasons to hate us as a group. note that i DON’T conflate zionism with jewishness, but a lot of people in the world don’t know the difference because theyre uninformed and been dripfed cultural antisemitic tropes their whole life and that’s the scary part is them falsely putting two and two together. like what the fuck israel stop youre just putting fuel on the fire for people around the world to hate an entire group of historically persecuted people if youre being this shitty with your insane colonialism and apartheid like……I Want No Fuckin Part Of This. you’re spelling our own doom. you cant just swoop in and go “mine now” and then oppress the people you took land from under a regime without my blood boiling at the injustice no matter WHO you are. even if my lineage is tied to you. so when news outlets support israel it doesn’t feel like they have the best interest of jews as a people in mind. it’s in the interest of a zionist ethnostate and whatever that christian zionism belief is about the jewish people returning to the holy land as prerequisite for the second coming of jesus. its not like they care about us as a dispersed ethnocultural group, it’s all for that religious narrative that a bunch of people in the US are backing.
saying you want all jews to die is antisemitic. beating someone up because they’re jewish and no other reason without knowing their views is antisemitic. criticizing human rights violations perpetrated by israel and the belief that one group deserves more rights another is not antisemitic. and the fact that israel has the ability to pull that antisemitism card in response to criticisms of the violations they commit because their state is the “jewish homeland” drives me fucking insane. take fucking accountability for your actions. and yes, there do exist full-on anti-jewish groups in the middle east that go beyond hatred of israel’s policies and existence as a state and i’m tired of people pretending there aren’t in fear of appearing to seem like they support the state of israel. on the other side of things many people overestimate this by fearmongering and saying EVERY arab is out to get jews worldwide, telling people like me “they want YOU dead”. this is not the belief every person in the middle east and it really rubs me the wrong way that people group millions of individuals into all-encompassing lumps like this. many people there do understand nuance of this political situation.
even if i have that “right of return” by israeli law or whatever, i don’t feel obliged to it; it does not register as fair. why do i have a “right of return” when i’ve never even been there in the first place while palestinians who have homes there can’t return to them? what’s the basis for that? substituting objective reality with an imaginary reality? i don’t think like that. i can hypothetically come and go whenever i please but palestinians are severely limited in mobility? what makes me more entitled to that land than the people who lived there for centuries? nothing that comes from natural law thats for sure. it’s all artificial and inflated.
but at the same time i also dont want to be the target of antisemitism and caught in the fray just for being ethnically jewish. once people start calling for the genocide of entire groups we’ve got issues (and you better believe this absolutely applies to the palestinian victims in gaza too), because people who dissent to the violence perpetrated by the loudest are caught in there with the people who are perpetrating the violence. lack of nuance. people conflating israel and its zionist apartheid policies with jewish ethnicity and culture worldwide. other people conflating being terrorist anti-jew with muslims worldwide (like that 6-year old palestinian-american boy that was just stabbed to death in chicago). scary times man. but as a jew i can’t just opt out of this if it’s how i was born as. i don’t have control over that. but i can control what i think and what my beliefs are
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fairuzfan · 2 months
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I’m a genocide historian and I do think comparisons between the Holocaust and the genocide in Palestine are unproductive because A) the Holocaust is pretty distinct from Palestinian genocide not in its exceptionalism but in its method - the “shipping” of victims from 20+ countries by international rail to a handful of centralized killing sites; 15000 people being gassed in Auschwitz daily (a single gas chamber had standing capacity for 2,000 people) and their stolen hair sold in bales for use as maritime rope and cushion stuffing - and forcing Holocaust parallels obfuscates the terrible and very unique methods of genocide being used by Israel against Palestinians. B) People often invoke the Holocaust as an emotional appeal regarding the moral culpability of all Jews (“how could you do what was done to your ancestors!”) when the same responsibility to end the genocide in Palestine exists regardless of one’s background or religion.
What Israel is doing in Palestine is 100% a genocide. Whether or not it is similar to the Holocaust (or any previous atrocity) does not make this any more or less true.
The thing that doesn't make sense to me with this point is that no one is saying that the Holocaust and Palestinian genocide are a 1:1 comparison. Like most people acknowledge the terrible genocide that occurred in the Holocaust against all its victims. But when they're talking about comparing genocides, there are tell tale signs that repeat throughout history that are precursers to larger events. Like when people compare the Warsaw ghetto to Gaza. I'd say those are quite similar in practice and intention. When we "compare" genocides (not a 1:1 but more of a drawing parellels by disecting the inteion and reasoning behind certain events that werent necessarily actively violent but passively violent) its to show "hey this is going to get really bad really soon because something like this happened before." Masha Gessen has an article about this that I reblogged.
People should care about fighting injustice everywhere I agree. But that doesn't change the fact that parallel drawing is an act separate from emotional invocation. When genocide scholars and survivors talk about "Hey this was like xyz that happened to me/in history" it's to show that there is precedent for this thinking and a terrible methodology happening when genocides occur. They dont just get really bad out of nowhere, you need to examine the precursors to prevent the large event from happening. How that large event happens differs from place to place, I agree. But to say that because things happen differently against different people means you can't examine the underlying reasons behind those actions is kind of reductive. By this definition you can never compare any genocide ever and all the terrible things that happen just happen naturally without any political or social influence.
Arnesa talks about how the Bosnian genocide precursors mirror the Palestinian genocide. She also talks about how Lula specifically should have mentioned other genocides (like Rwanda, Bosnia, etc) in his statement because there are parallels there too. I'd argue that's the real intention behind genocide studies, in that you notice trends and patterns to analyze how certain events might turn out.
I do want to mention because this is where im coming from a little bit, it is a pretty big zionist talking point (by especially American dems) saying you can't compare the holocaust to what's happening to Palestinians because it's antisemitic, which is not a real talking point and actually kind of rude in that it assumes that Palestinians can't call out parallels between their treatment and the treatment of those in the Holocaust because they're fundamentally doing it from a point of antisemitism and not a plea for recognition that the events are mirroring each other.
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