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staytheword · 2 years

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do you like it?

do you like it? — one shot request by anon [ general masterlist ] [ requests ]

18+ !! minors, please do not interact!!

• seungmin x female reader; felix, jisung and jeongin are also featured.

• non idol au. college au. strangers to lovers. just some seungmin smut for mental health. drinking, drugs (weed), college parties, mention of different kinks. explicit language, explicit sexual content. sex positive mc. dom!seungmin. dirty talk, fingering, use of pet names, degrading, unprotected sex (don't do it please), sort of public sex, creampie.

• word count: 4.5k

You desperately need distraction from studying, so you and a friend head to a party. That's where you meet Seungmin, who joins you for a fun game.

• author’s note: Thank you anon for this request, I hope you will enjoy it. Please let me know if you liked it if you can!! I had a lot of fun writing it! What a great way to unwind haha. Thank you everyone for your support as always ♡ I know this is a little different from what I usually write, but it's my way of not overthinking things, of challenging myself, and to just have fun writing and sharing things with you. Please be kind haha I'm very scared :') ♡

You are bored.

You close your phone, rubbing your eyes. It’s not like you have nothing to do - there are dozens of things you could and probably should be doing, but you can’t bring yourself to. Studying. Cleaning. Answering messages. But everything feels empty, everything feels flat.

You need a distraction. A real one. Something to disconnect your brain, to collide with the universe, to explode into sparks.

Chae-won is lazily tapping something on her computer. You stand up from your chair and take the few steps it takes to reach her desk, leaning on it, gesturing to her to remove her headphones. She looks at you, her short black hair in slight disarray, the dark circles under her eyes betraying the fact that she hasn’t been sleeping very well lately.

“Hm?” she asks in a low tone.

“Save the document,” you tell her.

She frowns slightly but indulges, and once she has clicked the option, you slam her laptop screen closed.

“What are you doing?” she cries out, although she doesn’t seem bothered.

“Enough of this shit, Chae,” you exclaim, circling the desk to sit on her bed. “We’ve been doing nothing for too long. Our brains are puddles. We are barely human beings anymore. This can’t go on.”

“But I have this essay…”

“The deadline is still days away,” you interrupt her, shaking your head. “You need some air. Isn’t that what people say? Perspective is good or something like that?”

Chae-won sighs, falling back into her chair. “I guess they do say that.”

“We need to get out of this room before we turn into our desk chairs. I’m crawling up the damn walls. Let’s do something.”

Your friend rubs her eyes, a slight pout on her lips. “Like what?”

“Anything,” you retort. “See a movie. Take a walk. Get ice cream.”

You both look at each other and sigh. It’s not that you don’t want to do those things - but they will not scratch your itch, that much you know. You stand up and start to pace around the room both of you share. It’s not very big, and the colors are painted a very odd beige color, but you and Chae-won still managed to make it your own. String lights, movie posters, plants - you’ve made sure to use every inch square possible and maximize the space.

After a second or two, you snap your fingers and smile triumphantly.

“I know. Let’s go to a party.”

Her face lights up. “A party? Hm. Yeah, that… That sounds nice. It’s been a while.”

You grin, standing up, taking your friend’s hands to lift her up on her feet. She twirls, letting out a little giggle.

“We can get drunk. We can get high.”

“Even better,” she tells you, raising an index. “We can get laid.”

Both of you break into your best evil laughs, and you already feel revitalized.

“Let’s fucking do it!” you roar. “Now we just need to find a party. It’s a Tuesday, though…”

“We’re in college, Y/N,” she tells you. “There’s always a party going on somewhere.”

Chae-won puts on some music and both of you sit down on your bed, pulling out your phones to go on the hunt for a party. You feel your heart beat faster in your chest, excited about the turn your day is taking. At the start of the semester, the both of you had been attending every possible party, but it’s been a few weeks since you even thought about going to one. You and Chae-won were the same - you took your studies seriously, but you also adored completely losing it at parties. You called it balance.

You check social media while Chae-won messages a few friends from her classes, but you don’t see much. It’s still early, too, so you guess that even if parties were taking place tonight they wouldn’t have started yet.

“They’re having a party at the Kapa Delta,” Chae tells you, showing you a Facebook event.

You scrunch your nose. “I can’t fucking stand them, though. And the guys that go there are gross.”

“That’s just because you don’t like jocks.”

“That is not true,” you reply, shooting your friend a dark glare. “I like Changbin a lot, he’s a jock.”

“He’s not a jock, he’s a gym obsessed music geek.”

“Whatever,” you mumble. “I should text him. I miss him. He graduated way too fast.”

“Yes, Y/N, I know,” Chae laughs. “Best fuck you’ve ever had and all.”

You giggle to yourself, scrolling through stories, when you stumble upon an interesting one. It was posted by Felix, a guy you met a few weeks ago, and shows the picture of a brownie with confetti emojis. You show the screen to Chae-won with a grin.

“That looks like a party to me,” you tell her, and you both smile.

You immediately reply to Felix’s story.

you can we come over??

His answer comes quickly.

felix who dis

LOL JUST KIDDING OFC

He adds about four lines of texts’ worth of emojis, so you guess it’s positive. You and Chae-won giggle in front of your phone.

you drop the address!!!!!!

Once Felix has given you the information, you and Chae-won start to get ready. It takes a few tries to get the perfect but comfortable outfits. You each take two shots from the bottle of tequila you keep in your desk, do each other’s makeup and finish hyping yourself with some dance therapy. After, you slip on your shoes and text Felix you’re on your way.

The dorm is already filled with people when you arrive, the party well on its way. It’s the typical college party you are used too, with loud music, the smell of beer, people making out here and there, guys with no shirts screaming nonsense. You and Chae-won make your way through the crowd until you find Felix, who looks already completely high, sitting on the floor of the corridor next to his friend Jeongin.

“Oh, Y/N!” he grins, waving at you. “You made it.”

“Like half the college population, yeah,” you giggle. You wouldn’t say you’re drunk, but you’re definitely tipsy from the shots you and Chae-won took. “Why the fuck are there so many people here?”

“Jisung hacked the college email and sent the invite to everyone,” Jeongin says, and you all burst out laughing.

“No way, that’s kinda genius,” Chae-won comments.

“Genius? I’ll take it,” says a voice.

It’s Jisung, who has appeared next to your roommate, putting his arm on her shoulder with a seductive smile.

“Why do I not know your name, beautiful?”

Chae-won scoffs a little. “Because you’ve forgotten it. We met like four times before.”

You, Felix, and Jeongin cackle at Jisung’s slightly defeated face. “I have?”

“No,” Chae-won laughs. “I’m just messing with you.”

“Come on, that’s not -”

“Ji, leave them alone,” Felix says, shaking his head. He stands up on clumsy legs and waves at you to follow him. “Let’s get you some brownie, yeah?”

You all head towards the dorm kitchen and Felix draws a half eaten brownie from the fridge. You and Chae-won each eat a square, sharing drinks with everyone. You talk with Jeongin a lot because you discover a shared love for a band, feeling the small amount of weed and the booze do their magic. Before you know it, you’re giggling for no good reason. You stand up to follow the others out of the kitchen, laughing with Chae-won about Jisung’s cheesy pick-up lines. You’ve just gone through the door and heading left when you crash against someone.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” you laugh, looking up.

You do not know him. Dark brown hair, wide smile, square jawline, deep brown eyes. He looks sweet, but has a strength about him that you instantly like. An energy, a certainty.

“You alright there?” he asks you, giving you a smile. When you don’t answer, feeling slightly awestruck, he laughs. “Lix, what kind of weed did you put in your brownie this time?”

“The normal kind?!” Felix answers, arching an eyebrow. “Guys, this is Seungmin. He goes to West U.”

“Oh,” you say, finally able to give him back his smile.

That must be why you’ve never seen him before. He gives you a last smirk, turning away to follow all of you to another room. He throws his arm around Felix’s shoulder affectionately and you sharply turn to Chae-won.

“Holy fuck, he’s so hot!” you cry out.

You didn’t see Jisung right next to her, who grins. “Y/N HAS A CRUSH ON -”

Chae-won slams her hand across his mouth, chuckling. “He’s so your type, Y/N. We’ll be your wingpeople, won’t we, Jisung? Quietly and subtly?”

Jisung nods, and Chae-won removes her hand.

“What she said,” he nods solemnly.

You shake your head, laughing, and all of you make it in a dorm room where there aren’t too many people. You sit down on a couch, Chae-won making sure Seungmin is next to you. You give him a smile as you cross your legs. He smells good, a perfectly balanced cologne that almost makes you dizzy.

“So, Seungmin…” you say, tasting his name on your lips. “Are you single?”

He chuckles, taking a long sip from his red cup. “That’s the first thing you want to know about me, huh?”

“Just wondering how much I can flirt with you,” you grin.

“You can flirt with me as much as you like, cutie. I’m not really a relationship type of guy.”

You arch an eyebrow, unable to hold back your satisfied smile. “Most guys in college aren’t.”

Seungmin laughs. “Good point. But I’m not saying that just because I want to get laid. I have commitment issues.”

His honesty takes you by surprise and you stammer, the light in Seungmin’s eyes almost making you blush.

“Is that why you attend parties in other colleges?” you ask once you recover. “So you can hook up and not have the chance to see the person on campus again?”

“You see right through me.”

His sense of humor keeps catching you off guard, but you appreciate it. You don’t feel like you’re just flirting, but like you’re having an actual conversation - and you are so absorbed that you almost forget the party around you, the people screaming, the smell of booze and sweat. It is only when the person next to you spills his drink on the couch and almost all over you that Seungmin takes your hand, drawing you away, and you lean against the wall not too far, next to each other, so you can keep talking. Seungmin stands close to you, sometimes whispering in your ear so you can hear each other better.

After a while, you stare at your empty cup. “Fuck, that’s been empty for a while.”

“You want a refill?” Seungmin suggests.

“I’m fine. I came here tonight for distraction, and it was either getting really drunk or hooking up, so…”

“You chose the second option,” he finishes for you, smirking. “Is that right?”

You bite your lip, staring up at him, the curve of his lips, the shape of his shoulders underneath his black shirt, the silver chain around his neck. He’s just doing something for you, and you know it, and he knows it. Instant connection, you think is what people call it.

“I’m really considering it,” you tell him in a breath.

He leans in slightly, cupping your cheek. His hand is warm, big, and you want it to touch you everywhere.

“Why don’t I help you make your choice?” he suggests.

You nod, and he pushes his lips against yours. The kiss is eager but not too insistent, and you quickly fall into it. His hand falls on your waist and he pulls your body slightly closer to his. You moan in his mouth as he starts to play with your tongue. Your mind is reeling, your thoughts a complete mess, when he leans back.

“So, what do you think?” he breathes in your ear, keeping his voice low.

“I think…” you sigh. “I think we need to find a place that is more private so we can do some more of that.”

Seungmin laughs and takes your hand to lead you away, but then Jeongin appears next to you, a large smile on his face.

“There you are!” he cries out, grabbing Seungmin’s sleeve. “Come on, we’re playing a game!”

There is clearly no chance of arguing with him, so you exchange an amused look with Seungmin and shrug. This can wait, you think to yourself, and you both follow Jeongin back to your friend group. You all sit in a circle as Jeongin explains you are going to play a round of Do you like it. You arch an eyebrow as he takes out the cards and displays them.

“I don’t know the game,” you say to Seungmin. “What’s it about?”

“Sex,” he answers simply.

Your eyes grow a little wide, and he keeps his eyes on you. A smirk appears on your lips, amused.

“Oh,” you answer. “Interesting.”

You all form teams of two, the other being your opponent. Chae-won pairs with Jisung, Felix with Jeongin, so you end up with Seungmin. The game is simple. One of the teammates is given a word or phrase related to sex, and the teammate has to guess how the other would rate it out of ten.

Felix seems to know Jeongin almost too well, guessing right his love for threesomes and his aversion for eating food off bodies. Jisung surprises no one with his love for porn but admits he’s not much for step sister fantasies. After the others’ turns you are tearing up from laughing too much, holding your sides.

“Your turn, Y/N,” Felix tells you. “You have to guess Seungmin’s.”

You shake your hands, turn to face your teammate. “Hit me.”

Seungmin chuckles and draws a card from the pile. “Ok. First is… blowjobs.”

You squint your eyes at him, trying to figure out his reaction. He is unreadable, however. You pout.

“I’ll say 9 out of 10.”

“Close,” he replies. “8.”

He gives a little shrug.

“I’m more a giver than a receiver.”

You can’t hold back a slightly nervous, slightly amused giggle. Can’t wait to find out, you almost tell him.

You can’t help it - the game is turning you on slowly but surely. You still feel Seungmin’s lips on yours as you find out about his kinks. Maybe it’s his direct gaze on you as you speak about sex and orgasms, or the way his hand brushes your thigh as he leans to take a card, or his voice, steady and low, telling you how much he likes the doggystyle position. Whatever it is, it’s working, and your heart is beating hard and fast in your chest. Then it’s your turn, in which he discovers you’d love to try out bondage and you love using toys during sex.

��Take some notes, Seungmin,” Jisung chuckles.

He does not answer anything, but you enjoy the look on his face a little too much. This almost feels like very long foreplay.

“Last but not least,” Seungmin says, staring at you.

You draw a card and blush a little. “Dirty talk.”

“I’ll say 6.”

“Wrong,” you retort, lifting your chin proudly. Better he knows. “That is definitely a 10.”

Your group of friends erupts into laughter and whistles, and Seungmin shoots you a surprised look.

“A 10, huh? Good to know.”

He stares at you with such intent you feel your walls tighten. It’s like you can see through his eyes that he’s thinking about it, and you wonder if he’s as turned on as you are.

The game ends when someone suddenly turns up the music at the sound of a classic party song, and you all stand up to start dancing. You and Chae-won dance together for a while before you feel someone’s hand on your waist, sweeping you away. You twirl on your feet, your eyes falling in Seungmin’s.

He starts to dance with you, his eyes fixated on you, your bodies close to one another. He completely takes your breath away. You sway your hips, smiling up at him.

You like him perhaps a little too much, you tell yourself, but you do not hide it. Why would you? From the way he looks and smiles at you, you’d say it’s pretty much mutual. You hope something more can happen. You want to find a way to get him alone with you, or at least to find a corner where you can make out again, when Felix decides you will all be playing seven minutes in heaven.

“Lix, we’re not 12 anymore,” Jeongin sighs.

“Exactly,” Felix points out with a cheeky smile. “Imagine what can happen inside seven minutes…”

You all complain but you still end up playing. The first to go in are Jisung and Jeongin, and they come back in the middle of a heated debate about video games. Meanwhile, you and Seungmin keep talking, and he actually leaves a hand on your thigh. You stare down at it sometimes, loving the sight of his long fingers sprawled on your skin. You imagine them being somewhere else, feeling your panties getting drenched. Seugnmin feels it, you are sure of it, because he gives you a smirk. Then, Jisung gets chosen again, but with Chae-won this time - and from the blush on your friend’s cheek, you are pretty sure something happened in that closet, although you couldn’t tell what. You’ll have to ask her later.

“I have an idea,” Chae-won says. “Why not do it with the teammates from earlier? Me and Jisung went, so why not Seungmin and Y/N this time?”

You shoot your friend a glare. Not very subtle, you mouth, and she shrugs.

“Sounds good,” Seungmin simply states, taking your hand and guiding you towards the closet.

You follow him inside, your heart beating fast in your chest. Is this really happening?

The closet door closes, and you look up at Seungmin.

You are pretty much the same height, so there is no escaping his direct gaze. You swallow as he smirks, your mouth feeling dry.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” he says in a low voice.

It’s not silent, because you can still perfectly hear the sound of the conversation and music just on the other side of the door, but it’s muffled enough for you to hear him perfectly.

“Let’s not waste a second, yeah?”

You part your lips to speak but Seungmin gently pushes you against the wall of the closet, pinning one of your hands next to your shoulder, his mouth leaning into the crook of your neck. You let out a soft whimper, unable to stop yourself from clenching around nothing.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he whispers, his breath tickling your skin. His other hand slithers around your waist, resting on the small of your back. “But if you let me, I have a good idea of what I want to do with my seven minutes....”

You breathe out, arching your back slightly. “Do whatever you want.”

Seungmin chuckles. “That’s what I thought.”

He tilts his head to look back into your eyes, licking his lips slowly. His pelvis is barely brushing yours, but you can feel his erection building, pushing against your leg.

“Dirty talk, huh? If that’s what you like, I can give it to you,” he growls, kissing your jawline. “You want me to tell you what a fucking slut you are? You like it filthy?”

You open your lips to answer but Seungmin’s teeth tease your earlobe, and your words come out as pathetic moans. “F-fuck, S-Seungmin…”

“Seven minutes is not nearly enough, but it’ll have to do for now. Fuck, I’m so glad I came to this party.”

His large hand slides around your leg, pushing your thighs apart, and you wrap your arm around his neck for support. You already know you are soaked - you have been for the past hour, ever since the game, and even before that. There’s just something about Seungmin that makes your legs go weak, a hunger in his eyes, a mischievousness in his smile. You want him to ruin you, you want him to whisper the nastiest things in your ear, and he looks just about to do that, so you can barely bring yourself to breathe.

Seungmin pushes two of his fingers against your pussy, above the fabric of your panties. You let out a choked moan, your body jolting.

“Fuck, those panties are drenched,” he chuckles in your ear. “How about I finger you in the closet like the dirty little whore you are, hm? Would you like that?”

You nod. “Yes,” you breathe.

Seungmin breathes hard, and pushes your panties down. They fall at your feet and you spread your legs a little more to give him some space.

“That’s right,” he groans. “Open that pussy for me. Fuck, that’s hot. You’re so fucking wet.”

Seungmin’s long fingers draw circles on your folds, and he squeezes your clit in between them, drawing a louder moan from your lips. You do not care if people can hear you, they probably already know what you are up to.

You roll your hips against Seungmin’s caresses, breathing hard in his neck, your legs already weak. He holds you up against him, however, his hard cock pressed against you. Each time you roll your hips, causing friction against his bulge, you hear him hiss in both annoyance and delight. You wish he would fuck you right there, but his fingers feel like heaven, and you don’t him to stop.

“P-push them inside, Seungmin,” you plead. “P-please.”

“Pretty girl wants to fuck herself on my fingers, huh? Let me see how good your hole feels. I bet you’re so warm and tight…”

He slowly inserts two fingers inside of you, and you shudder against him.

“Fuck, yes…”

“God, fuck, I was right,” Seungmin breathes as he does not waste any time starting to fuck your cunt with his fingers. His movements are sharp and deep, curving inside of you to reach even further, and your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“Fuck, Seungmin!” You cry out, digging your fingers into the back of his neck.

It’s like he instantly knows exactly how to pleasure you, his speed, his angle, his rhythm. You can’t focus on anything else than how he sinks his fingers into your pussy, and you can only hear him breathe, the squelching sounds of him fingering you relentlessly filling the closet. Your cunt clenches as he inserts another finger, stretching your hole. You are shaking, his passion consuming you whole, your orgasm on the tip of his fingers.

Seungmin keeps whispering filth in your ears, his whispers getting more and more disordered. That’s my little slut, you fucking take it, such a tight cunt, my fingers are fucking you so deep, am I going to make you cum like a whore?

“S-seungmin,” you whimper as you are about to come.

He growls, and it’s so animalistic it feels unreal. Suddenly his fingers disappear from your cunt and you gasp at the sudden absence, opening your eyes in a panic, but Seungmin is only unbuttoning his jeans. You see his bulge, big and pushing against the fabric, and you hurry to help him take his cock out. It’s rock hard but you don’t have time to look at it, because Seungmin guides it under your cunt.

“I don’t have -”

“I don’t care,” you whisper.

He pushes his cock deep inside you, bottoming out instantly. It doesn’t hurt because you were soaked and already stretched by his fingers - it just feels both overwhelming and magnificent. You cry out his name as he buries himself inside of you, his hips immediately thrusting hard, fucking you against the wall almost desperately.

“F-fuck,” he grunts. “So fucking tight… around my cock… I was meant to fuck that cunt, fuck.”

You have no words - you only hold onto him tighter, feeling full and fucked out already. Seungmin pounds into you, his cock throbbing against your walls.

“I’m gonna - Seungmin, fuck!”

“Taking my cock so well,” he whispers in your ear, his voice trembling. “So fucking well, like the slut you are. Getting fucked in a closet with all your friends to hear it. You’re not going to walk straight after this, are you?”

“Don’t fucking stop,” you whimper, your head dizzy.

Your orgasm feels like a flash of lightning, blindening you to everything else, your cunt throbbing and fluttering around him. Your legs are shaking but Seungmin holds you up and keeps whispering in your ear, drawing out your orgasm, your cum making the fuck even more messy as you drip around his cock.

“Fuck, yes. Keep clenching like this around my cock.”

You’re not sure how you’re still standing, because Seungmin has not slowed down whatsoever, and you are holding on to him because you might fall if you don’t. He moans in your ear, his body pressed hard against yours. You can feel he is close too, his cock pulsating in your cunt.

“Are you going to take my cum inside of you, huh? Are you a good little cumslut? Gonna let me fill up that tight little hole?”

You nod. “Give it to me.”

He sinks into you, a growl escaping his lips, and comes. His cock spurts out his warm cum inside of you, and you moan at the feeling. He’s filling you up, your hole sensitive and deliciously aching.

“Fuck,” Seungmin sighs, staying inside of you for a second, his forehead resting on the wall beside your head.

Your fingers come to stroke his hair, which is a little sweaty, and you stay silent for a few seconds. You are completely fucked out, your legs wobbly, and you have no idea how you’ll be able to even leave this closet. How long has it been? Feels like seconds, like hours. Has it been seven minutes? More, less?

Seungmin places a kiss on your neck, and you shiver.

“You’re going to keep my cum inside of you, won’t you?” he breathes, and you can only nod. “Good girl.”

He removes his cock, his fingers immediately sweeping the overflowing liquids to push them back into you. You squirm at the touch, sensitive, but Seungmin does not stop. He guides your panties back between your legs, and replaces your skirt.

Just then, you hear a knock on the door. You recognize Felix’s voice.

“Guys, we’ve given you some more time because you were clearly busy, but… Hurry the fuck up, will you?!”

You giggle. “Just a sec!”

Seungmin takes a step back, a satisfied smirk on his lips, and you watch him put his cock back in his jeans, mouth parted, breathless.

“Dirty talk, check,” he smiles, looking up at you. “Next time, should we try sex toys or bondage?”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “We did one of mine, so next time, let’s do one of yours.”

Seungmin’s eyes light up. “Are you sure you’re up for it, cutie?”

You just smile, putting a hand on the door handle. “Fuck yes, I am.”

(note about taglists) I don't want to tag anyone on this because this is different and tagging gets me a little anxious, but if you do want to be tagged on requests like these, let me know ♡ Lots of love!

#seungmin x reader #seungmin x you #seungmin x y/n #seungmin smut #kim seungmin smut #kim seungmin x you #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x y/n #skz smut #skz x you #skz x reader #skz x y/n #stray kids smut #stray kids x you #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #kpop smut

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redhead1180 · 2 months

Note

ok so like I’ve been looking for like five about rudy baby and like I have one in particular that i begging for someone to write and it’s like the reader could be like a surfer girl type of person and like he’s out on the beach one day and like he sees the reader and he thinks she’s hot and they like talk and stuff and they start like hanging out and then one day rudy is completely fed up with it and he’s just like fuck it I need you and they end up having the hottest sex of the century lol 😆 I’m giggling and kicking my feet rn! 🤣🤣🤣

Oy vey girl, I have NOT wrote for Rudy, but we gonna do this. Also, I know absolutely nothing about surfing. I am so sorry for the delay, I really hope you like it.

Thanks to @haven247 for helping when my brain went stupid.

All graphsi by @saradika-graphics

Rudy, Chase, and JD were out on the beach brushing up on their surfing skills for the new season. Jonas had told them there was going to be more surfing this season and the boys needed a refresher.

"I'm getting too old for this shit" Chase said as they all three stand at the water with surfboards in hand.

"Yeah, ya are old man" Rudy snickered.

"Fuck you" Chase chuckles as he flips Rudy off and rolls his eyes.

"You're both too fucking old for this shit, I however, am in my prime" JD comments as he flexes in front of them.

Rudy slaps him in the stomach, "I ain't that much older than you, asshole"

"Alright let's get this over with" Chase grumbles as they all head into the water.

For the next hour or so, they surfed, busted their asses more times than they wanted to admit, and laughed so hard their ribs hurt.

That's when Rudy saw you, carrying a board and laughing with some friends. His heart skipped a beat at how beautiful and carefree you looked and he couldn't stop himself from staring at you stripped down to a bikini and made your way to the water.

"Calling to Rudy, you there man?" He vaguely heard JD say next to him.

"Huh, what?" He snapped his around to JD.

"I asked if you're ready to call it or want to do some more, but looks like someone or something has your attention" JD smirked.

"Uh, no, I think I'm gonna stay a bit and practice more" Rudy mumbled to no one in particular, still unable to keep his eyes off you as you begin to surf the waves.

"Oh I see, right, you practice man" Chase chuckles patting him the back.

"yeah catch ya later" Rudy said offhandedly as he waved to the guys, eyes never leaving you, as he rode his board your way.

He rode over to you, watching your look of exhilaration after catching that last wave.

"Hey, you, um, you look pretty good out there" Rudy called to you as he rode up by your board. IDIOT, what the hell was that he thought to himself. But then had to remind himself to breath when he saw how more beautiful you were up close.

"Oh, thanks." You giggle "it wasn't much" you look out at the ocean as you wring your hair out.

"Looked like to me" Rudy smiled and put his hand out "I'm Rudy".

You smiled at him, a breathtaking smile he thought.

"I'm Y/N, nice to meet you" you shook his hand, smiling the whole time. "You surf out here often"

Rudy felt a shock of electricity run up his arm, and the fact you bit you bottom lip, he was pretty sure you felt it to.

"Umm, not as much as I'd like, but yea when I have time. Although I am definitely not as good as you" he manages to stammer out. Fuck dude, your not a teenager get it together, Rudy yelled to himself.

"C'mon then, big boy, let's see what ya got" You challenge him as you look out at the waves.

"After you" he smirks, motioning his hand out.

For the next hour, you guys catch waves, talk, and honestly have a really good time, until your friends holler it's time to go.

"Well, blondie, looks like my ride is leaving. Sorry to say I must leave you now" you say, you voice laced with disappointment.

"You want to meet up again" Rudy asks, a little too desperate.

"Yea I'm free Tuesday, meet ya in the morning say around 8, best waves" you grin mischievously.

"I'll be here" Rudy promised.

For the next few weeks you guys carve out time in each other's lives to meet up several times. You both learn more about each other, laugh and build up a relationship more and more with every meeting. Things between you are closer now, touches come more freely, hands linger on each other, and Rudy wonders if you feel the same way as he does.

One day you guys were out in the water, laying on the boards after surfing for a good hour, he was telling a funny story from set. Suddenly, the sky was ripped in two by a streak of lightning and you both jumped at the sudden clap of thunder.

"yup time to go" you both said in unison.

You both paddled back as fast as you could, rain starting to fall heavy as you got back to your towels. Lightening and thunder were crashing every few seconds and Rudy doesn't normally let weather bother him, but this lightning was dangerous.

"let's get in my truck, I know you don't have a ride, I can drive you home." He yells over the rain.

The beach is completely cleared out by the time you guys make it inside his truck.

*Jesus fuck" you laugh once you're in the the truck.

Rudy chuckles and turns the truck on, turning the heat on, noticing you had goose bumps all over you, both of you only in your bikini and trunks. He turns to you and starts looking you over and making no injuries or anything.

"you ok" he asked concern laced in his voice. Rudy couldn't help it, he tucks your hair behind your ear and cups your face. Looking you over for anything wrong.

"um, sorry" he stammers going to remove his hand, but you stop him.

"I'm ok Rudy" you tell him shyly as you pull his hand towards your mouth and kiss the palm of it.

Rudy's minds blanks for a second before he reacts and pulls you to him, kissing you gently. You immediately start kissing him back, threading your hands through his hair. He runs his tongue along your bottom lip, seeking entrance, and you relent instantly. He cups your face with one and slips his tongue in, both of your tongues dancing for dominance. He wraps his arm around you with the other, pulling your closer, and deepens the kiss. You moan and he feels you give in and can't control the groan that escapes him, wanting to kiss you so long and it was better than he could imagine.

This kiss becomes hungry and needy, teeth clashing as you both feel the need to devour each other. Rudy slides his hand down your side to your hip and squeezes, rubbing his thumb under the bikini ties. You wrap an arm around his neck and tug on his hair, pulling from the kiss gasping. Rudy immediately begins attacking your neck, leaving open mouth kisses down, nibbling occasionally. He nibbles a spot under your ear and you buck you hips, causing him to smirk. "Found you" he whispers.

You moan, trying to tug him closer. The rain pounding the truck, thunder clapping ever few seconds, but neither of you heard it. So cocooned in your little bubble. The windows were fogging over, but you both paid no mind. Rudy had a second of clarity as he is leaves little marks on your collarbone.

"God, tell me to stop now if you want" he voice raspy from heat and desire.

"don't you fucking dare" you demand, causing him to chuckle before going back to your chest. He reach down and squeezes you ass, wanting you closer. You moan in his hair, head fallen back to give him more access.

Rudy feels you push him back... 'wha-' he starts to asked confused, but you begin to crawl over the console and straddle his lap. "Oh" he smirks as you smile devilishly down at him. Rudy feels himself go rock hard and groans into your mouth as you reclaim his lips.

"Fuck sweet girl" he mumbles against your lips as you grind down on him. He groans, hands grabbing the fat of your ass and squeezing, pulling you close and down onto him. You moan into the kiss and reach down to palm thru his shorts.

*Jesus fuck" Rudy moans before ripping the triangles of your bikini top to the side and latching on to your right breast. You gasp as he he licks, bites and sucks, half your tit in his mouth, while using his other hand to play with the other one.

"Fuck, Rudy, feels so good." You whine out as you grind down against him. Rudy couldn't remember the last time he was this hard. He moves his mouth to the other breast and reach down to untie the strings one your bikini. Focusing to NOT blow his load, which the way you were grinding and pawing him, he was finding a bit difficult. He taps your thigh for you to raise up and remove your bikini bottom.

"God you're so fuckin beautiful" Rudy says in awe as runs his hands over your body. He hears a whine escape from your lips and looks up at you all blissed out. Keeping eye contact, he slides his fingers down to your pussy and feels you soaked, making his breath hitch.

"Fuck baby you're soaked, this all for me?" He tuts as he smirks up at you, you nod and gasp as he slides his fingers through your folds gathering your wetness. He slowly begins rubbing circles on your clit, causing you to moan out and your head fall back.

Rudy slides a finger to your hole, and gently pushes it in, groaning at how tight you feel around his finger. He slowly moves it in circles, rubbing against your walls. He feels them clench around his finger and chuckles.

"somebody likes that" he teases as your fingers dig in his shoulders and you moan his name. "Fuck baby love hearing my name from those lips" Rudy groans in your ear.

As the storm rages outside the truck, both of you don't pay it any attention. Rudy adds another finger and begins to thrust them in and out of your soaked cunt. You moan and roll your hips against them.

" fuck, baby, that's it. Ride them, make a mess on my hand. I wanna taste you, c'mon y/n."

You grind faster on his fingers as he wiggles them inside you, causing you to gasp. Rudy feels your walls flutter around them and curls his fingers at your sweet spot. You cry out as he feels your release soak his hand.

"that's it, good girl" he hums in your ear as he slowly pulls out his fingers, causing you to whine, and sucks them off. "God baby your so fucking sweet."

You slam your mouth down on his, forcing your tongue in to taste yourself, moaning into him. Reaching down you undo his shorts and lift up for him to pull them down, the kiss never breaking. He slides them down and you look down and moan.

"fuck Rudy you're so fucking pretty" you moan out in awe as you reach down and begin to stroke him. Rudy groans and leans his head on your shoulder, bucking his hips into your hand. He can feel you smile.

"Fu- fuck baby can't do this, I won't last" his voice raspy as he drags his blunt nails down your back. "Fucking need inside you y/n"

"condom?" You whisper in his ear.

"console"

You grab one, and put it on him, causing him to squeeze your hips.

"fuck ple- please" he whimpers

You line yourself up and push the tip in, both of your groaning. You slow sit down him, he hisses as your walls close around him sucking him inside you.

"oh fuck" you moan as another crash of thunder explodes outside. You clench around and he grabs your hair tightly and wraps his arm around your waist.

"Jesus fuck" Rudy cries out, keeping you still, needing to collect himself so he doesn't shoot his load now.

You start to move, rolling your hips, moving them in circles as his hard cock rubs your walls.

"oh God" you moan out as your body is covered in goose bumps. You begin to bounce and Rudy moans, pulling you hair, forcing your head back. He attacks your exposed neck, leaving open mouth kisses, biting and kissing to your collarbone.

"fuck baby you feel so good, fucking taking me so well, such a good fucking girl" Rudy groans in your neck, as he squeezes your hips with one hand, the other still holding your hair. You groan and clench around him.

"oh like that, like being called a good girl" Rudy smirks as he grabs your hips and slams you down harder on him. You cry out and and dig your nails in his chest, causing him to hiss.

"oh fuck Rudy" you moan, head thrown back, tits bouncing in Rudy's face. He leans forward and sticks his tongue out, letting your nipples rub up and down on his tongue. Your hands fly into his hair to steady yourself, as you arch your back for more.

"God your so fucking beautiful" Rudy pants as you tug his hair, pulling his head back, and crash your lips on his. He can feel your walls flutter, and grabs you around the waist. He starts thrusting hard up into you.

"oh fuck yes, oh God, right there" you cry out grabbing the head rest behind him.

"Yeah, that the spot" Rudy smirks as you nod your head vigorously. "Yeah you close, gonna cum all over me"

"mhmm" you moan as Rudy feels your movements get sloppy. He reaches a hand down and begins to rub circles on your clit. He trys to focus to not cumming just yet, but he can already feel some cum slip out as he holds you tight and slams up into you.

"c'mon baby, cum for me" he barely gets the words out and he feels you clamp down around him and a rush of juices on his cock. He buried his head into your neck.

"oh fuck" you cry out, thighs trembling and hips jerking on him.

"Fuck, go-good, fu-fuck, girl" Rudy just gets out before he moans loudly and slams into you, stilling, as his load shoots into the condom. His vision goes momentarily white as he holds you tightly, before slowing his thrusts, helping you both ride out your high.

Neither of you say a word for a moment, just panting and holding onto each other. Finally Rudy pulls your wet hair back and kisses your forehead.

"you ok, sweetie" he gently asks cupping your face, looking at your fucked out face. He smiles.

"yeah" you chuckle "I'm good, I'm amazing right now"

Rudy laughs and kisses you gently, then pulls you up and off him. Both of you hiss from the sensitivity. He takes off the condom and throws it in a bag in back seat. It was still raining, from what you could tell through the fogged over windows. He helps you back in your seat, sinces your legs weren't really working properly, making him smirk. You put your bathing suit back on.

"alright let's get you home so I can fuck you properly in a bed" Rudy comments as he backs the truck up.

"oh" you laugh " round two, huh"

"oh baby we're just getting started" he smiles at you and winks.

Tagging moots @princessmaybank @blueicequeen19 @pankowperfection @starfxkr @haven247 @echobx @rafesthroatbaby @drudyslut @babygorewhore

#lexi's asks 💋#jj maybank #jj maybank prompt #ziggy

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dlstmxkakwldrlarchive · 22 days

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(article) SHINee's ONEW hopes to make people happy with his songs

Singer Onew of popular K-pop group SHINee has been deeply thinking about happiness, a theme that heavily influenced his latest release."I think it's wonderful to be someone who can have a positive impact on others and make them happy," he said during an interview Thursday with a group of reporters.

"It's a great merit that I can lift someone's mood. When people tell me they've been comforted by my songs, it feels like I'm truly living," he said.

This introspection led to the creation of his third individual EP, "Flow," a departure from his previous albums -- his first solo album, "Voice" (2018), second EP titled "Dice" (2022) and first full-length solo album, "Circle," (2023) -- which centered primarily on his distinctive voice and emotional expression.

Instead, "Flow," due out Tuesday at 6 p.m., is designed to resonate more broadly with the public, featuring songs that are easy to follow and enjoy together.The album is led by "Beat Drum," an upbeat pop track characterized by "kitsch" vocals in the chorus and a synth melody, according to promotional material from his label, Griffin Entertainment. The lyrics compare the feeling of a racing heart to the rhythm of a drum beat.

Also included are five B-side tracks, all of which maintain a bright and cheerful tone.

"I wanted to become closer to the public, so I put a lot of effort into making songs that are easy to follow," the 34-year-old explained. He also tailored the choreography to be accessible, allowing more people to catch on after just one viewing. "I hope even those who don't know me can feel a bit of positive energy," he added.

Onew stressed that while his unique voice and emotional depth will continue to be central to his music, his current focus is on expanding his positive influence.

The vocalist also has a goal of creating his own performance brand.

"I think a concert becomes richer and more enjoyable when many people can immerse themselves in it and have fun together. I want to create an atmosphere where it's not just a performance by me, but an experience where everyone can play together," he shared.

After taking a hiatus of over 10 months due to health issues, Onew returned to the stage in May.

During the break, the vocalist had the opportunity to attend a Coldplay concert in the United States.

"I loved the excitement and anticipation that I felt while waiting for the show," he said, expressing hope that audiences would experience the same thrill at his concerts.

Performing in front of fans and reuniting with his bandmates were what he missed the most as he recovered from neck surgery. He lost so much weight after the surgery, making his fans feel concerned and worried about his health.

"Now, I'm in great shape. In fact, I'm so well that it's almost a problem," he said with a laugh.

He spent a lot of time traveling to places like the U.S., Japan, and Austria during the break, giving himself the space to think deeply on his own.

"While traveling, I learned how to fail. There was a time when I tried to catch a train during a typhoon and ended up sitting on the platform for six hours. Sometimes, things just don't work out. But I realized that you can always try again later. That was the biggest lesson I learned."

After this realization, Onew changed his attitude about performing. He used to believe he couldn't go on stage unless he was 100 percent perfect, but now he's more open to taking risks.

This new attitude led him to boldly take on producing for the first time while working on this album.

"I challenged myself by getting involved in producing, selecting demo tracks, trying out different ideas, and communicating with writers to incorporate my thoughts into the songs. It was a big challenge, but it was a fun experience," he recalled.

Onew also tried his hand at rapping for the first time.

"I was debating whether to use more melody or try rapping," he said.

He thought rapping might work, so he gave it a shot, and fortunately, it turned out well.

"This new challenge has become a great motivation for me," he said.

He has also started taking guitar lessons recently because he wants to play during his concerts.

"I read somewhere that singer Lee Hyori said she started learning something new and that in 10 years, she could become an expert. So I thought, 'It's not too late. If I start now, I could be playing in 10 years too.'"

#240903 #shinee #onew #lee jinki #jinki #articles #interview #flow era #eng #long post

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ramblingsfromthytruly · 29 days

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rumbles, rumbles, rumbles

day 2/50 productivity challenge

27/august/2024 - tuesday

woke up tired and slowly got dressed for school. also drank coffee while reading fanfiction.

extended duolingo streak (i'm on day 150!)

my dad left much earlier for office so my mom had to drop me to school. went down to the basement but something was wrong with the scooter and it literally wouldn't start. well it would, but then the moment you turn the accelerator it stops. my mom jump-started it a couple of times and still nothing. by this time it was too late to order an auto so i just didn't go to school.

🕒 9:00 a.m.

well i got back home, changed out of my uniform, repacked my bag for tomorrow, texted my friends, and actually had something to eat.

edited + posted ch-1 of my fanfic on ao3 & wattpad

i had already written the entire thing but i needed to edit it (consistent tenses, etc). also put in notes, tags, etc and got sidetracked with a bit of fandom research so it took a lot longer than i thought it would. this is technically my first big writing project that isn't for school so i'm proud of myself. i hope my skills improve with time though. and please don't get the image of a "y/n orbs he growled" kind of thing when you see think about the word fanfic. no hate but that's not my cup of tea, i prefer ~tragedy~ lol.

exercised (consistently exercising makes me feel SO much better, otherwise i feel so lazy because i'm always sat at my desk)

showered

practiced playing keyboard

read newspaper headlines: times of india + bangalore times (while eating lunch)

literally spent the rest of the time preparing for my psychology seminar (speaking to an audience makes me REALLY nervous, and it's literally 2 classmates and 1 teacher)

night skincare

🕒 11:30 (probably)

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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year

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Saturday linkdump, part the sixth

On September 12 at 7pm, I'll be at Toronto's Another Story Bookshop with my new book The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation.

On September 14, I'm hosting the EFF Awards in San Francisco.

I usually write this blog 5-6 days/week, but every now and again, I take a break, and when I do, I get massive link backlogs of stuff I want to write about, but lack the time to address in depth. When that happens, I turn my Saturday edition into a linkdump. Today, I present the sixth in the series – here's the other five:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

Why was I offline and away from my blog? I went to the dirt rave. Yes, I was one of the 70,000+ people stuck in the mud at this year's Burning Man, and when I emailed my editor at the New York Times to say I might be late on the op-ed I was working on, she asked me to write about what this year's mud crisis meant:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/06/opinion/burning-man-flood-playa-climate-change.html

tl;dr:

Bad weather is normal at Burning Man (it's a feature, not a bug);

Mostly burners leapt to the occasion, which is what people almost always do in disaster situations;

This is the second Burning Man heavy weather year in a row;

The climate emergency is tipping the Black Rock Desert from "extremely challenging" to "impossible";

This isn't the last event, place and tradition that will have to be radically reconsidered in light of the climate emergency;

But now I'm home, in my hammock, with all the laundry done – just in time to leave again. I'm about to head back to my hometown of Toronto for a book launch. The Internet Con, my latest nonfiction (from Verso Books) came out last week, and I'll be appearing at Another Story Bookshop on Tuesday:

https://anotherstory.ca/events/29283

Internet Con is a "Big Tech disassembly manual." It explains how Big Tech got so big (lax anti-monopoly enforcement, which led to regulatory capture, which let Big Tech abuse our privacy, labor rights, and consumer rights), and how we can use interoperability so it's no longer Too Big to Fail, nor Too Big to Jail:

https://www.versobooks.com/products/3035-the-internet-con

You can read a long excerpt from the book in Wired, which lays out some of the shovel-ready legislative, regulatory and technical proposals that are the book's main purpose:

https://www.wired.com/story/the-internet-con-cory-doctorow-book-excerpt/

You can also hear me read the whole introduction and first chapter of the audiobook on my podcast:

https://craphound.com/internetcon/2023/08/01/the-internet-con-how-to-seize-the-means-of-computation-audiobook-outtake/

That comes from the audiobook, a DRM-free, independent edition that I financed, produced and narrated myself. You can get the audiobook everywhere except Audible, Apple Books, and Audiobooks.com, all of which have mandatory DRM policies. You can also get it direct from me:

https://transactions.sendowl.com/products/78992826/DEA0CE12/purchase

The DRM-free ebook is available everywhere ebooks are sold (Kobo, Kindle, Nook, etc), as well as in my own DRM-free ebook store:

https://transactions.sendowl.com/products/78992801/9C4FC2B8/purchase

Verso's books are sold in bookstores around the world; you can support your local bookseller by buying it through Bookshop:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-internet-con-how-to-seize-the-means-of-computation-cory-doctorow/18771891?ean=9781804291245

If you'd like a signed copy, there's stock at Book Soup:

https://www.booksoup.com/book/9781804291245

Now, it was inevitable that I would do a book event for Internet Con in Toronto – I've never had a bad event there, and I love my hometown – but the timing of this event was driven by a non-book-related factor. Talking Heads is appearing together at TIFF, to support the re-release of Stop Making Sense, the greatest concert film in human history:

https://pluralistic.net/StopMakingSense

People often ask me what my favorite book is, and I always tell them that you should never trust people who have one favorite book, as it inevitably turns out to be The Bible, The Fountainhead, or Mein Kampf. But while I don't have a favorite book, I have a clear and unambiguous favorite band.

If I was forced to listen to no music other than Talking Heads for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly happy. Ecstatic, even. Throw in David Byrne, Tom Tom Club and Casual Gods and I probably wouldn't even notice anything missing.

There's a running joke among my Burning Man campmates that whenever I'm in charge of the music, I'm just shuffling Talking Heads rarities, and whenever someone puts on anything else, I demand to know which Talking Heads album it came from. Which is all to say: I have tickets for the Talking Heads event at TIFF and I could *not be more excited.*

Continuing on the Canadian theme, one of the annual highlights of Canadian media is the Massey Lectures, a series of public lectures given around the country and rebroadcast on CBC. These are always great, but recent years have been superb – Ron Deibert's 2020 series was unmissable:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/11/10/dark-matter/#citizenlab

This year's Masseys are shaping up to be the GOAT. They're presented by Astra Taylor, an activist rock-and-roller turned documentary filmmaker who is one of the founders of the Debt Collective, fighting for student debt cancellation. Everything Astra does is amazing and her profile on CBC Ideas gives some background on the role that unschooling played in making her the powerful activist she is today:

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/ideas/astra-taylor-interview-2023-massey-lecturer-1.6959320

There's no question that things are messed up right now, but Astra and people like her shine out like beacons of hope. 17 years ago, self-described "democracy nut" Tom Stites gave one of the seminal lectures on the role news media play in democracy:

http://citmedia.org/blog/2006/07/03/guest-posting-is-media-performance-democracys-critical-issue/

17 years later – and from his perch as editor at the essential International Consortium of Investigative Journalists – Stites presents us a long-overdue, extremely pertinent followup: "Building Civic Energy is the Goal, Not Saving Old News Business Models":

https://banyanproject.coop/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Hope-College-speech-for-Banyan-website-1.pdf

Stites's intervention is extremely timely, because policymakers all over the world have made the mistake of thinking that Big Tech is stealing the news media's content, which is absolutely untrue. It is good, actually, to index news stories and let people discuss, quote from and link to news stories. News you're not allowed to talk about isn't news, it's a secret.

But Big Tech is stealing from news. They're not stealing content – they're stealing money. The Google/Apple duopoly rakes 30% off every subscription payment collected in an app. The Google/Meta duopoly rakes 51% out of every ad-dollar (and maintain that death-grip through creepy, privacy-invading surveillance ads). Meta and Twitter hold social media subscribers hostage, forcing publishers to pay to reach their own subscribers.

We don't want the news to be Big Tech's partners – we need them to be Big Tech's watchdogs. "Link taxes" and other profit-sharing arrangements between the media and tech cut against the civic energy Stites wants to build.

(You can read more about this – along with policy prescriptions for halting Big Tech's rent-extraction from the news – in "Saving the News From Big Tech," my EFF white-paper:)

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/04/saving-news-big-tech

If your spirits are lifted by stories of principled activists achieving important – and improbable – victories, you could do worse than to attend the EFF Awards on in San Francisco Sept 14 (I'm the emcee). This year, we're honoring Alexandra Elbakyan for her founding of Sci-Hub, the Library Freedom Project and the Signal Foundation:

https://www.eff.org/awards/effawards/2023

In more activist news: Mozilla produced a startling and astoundingly good – if demoralizing – report on the state of digital privacy and security in the automotive sector:

https://foundation.mozilla.org/en/privacynotincluded/articles/its-official-cars-are-the-worst-product-category-we-have-ever-reviewed-for-privacy/

Entitled, "It’s Official: Cars Are the Worst Product Category We Have Ever Reviewed for Privacy," the report reveals just how absolutely terrible the automotive sector is when it comes to privacy practices, collecting (and selling) (and giving away) information about your sex life, your geneology, your genetic characteristics, and your smell (no, seriously).

Their recommendations for which new car you should buy boil down to "don't buy a new car." I have been urging consumer research groups to release a report like this for a decade. There are whole categories of gadgets – like, say, "smart speakers" – that are unsafe at any speed. At a certain point, reviewers need to have the guts to say that every manufacturer in an entire sector is a dumpster fire and they should all be dragged in front of a firing squad – or at least a Congressional committee.

Cars, after all, are nightmares of privacy invasion and rent-extraction, the source of autoenshittification on a massive scale, a mobile form of technofeudalism:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

The fact that cars score so badly on privacy is especially ironic given the campaign Big Car waged against the 2020 Massachusetts Right to Repair ballot initiative, in which car manufacturers held themselves out as the defenders of driver privacy from unscrupulous third parties who couldn't be trusted to handle the vast troves of data your car collects with every hour that God sends:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/03/rip-david-graeber/#rolling-surveillance-platforms

This is a familiar refrain: monopolists often claim that any check on their absolute authority over their users will expose those users to privacy risks. Apple has run a global ad-campaign claiming this, and while Apple does prevent Facebook from spying on iPhone owners, they also secretly spy on those customers in exactly the same way that Facebook used to, and lie about it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

It turns out that giant companies just aren't good proxies for their customers' interests, and that the power they amass through monopolization shouldn't be counted on as a source of user safety. Monopolists won't reliably defend user privacy – that job belongs to democratically accountable regulators. That's an argument I developed in detail with Bennett Cyphers in our EFF white-paper "Privacy Without Monopoly":

https://www.eff.org/wp/interoperability-and-privacy

That is, rather than getting privacy by "voting with your wallet," you need to get it by voting with your ballot. "The market" is an election that you vote in with dollars, which means that the people with the most dollars always win. When there are zero cars on the market that are safe to drive, you can't vote with your wallet by buying a good one.

On a related subject, the DOJ Antitrust Division has brought the most important tech anti-monopoly case of the century, charging Google with monopolizing search:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/06/technology/modern-internet-first-monopoly-trial-us-google-dominance.html

Part of the DOJ case turns on the fact that Google goes to extraordinary lengths to keep you from every trying another search engine, paying out more than $45 billion every year to be the default search on every device, program and service you might use. In other words, Google spends entire Twitter's worth of dollars every year, lighting it on fire to keep you from finding out about rivals.

Google argues that this is fine, actually, because these are only defaults, and users can dig through their settings to change their search engine. Sure, Google – and the first 20 search results you serve are only defaults, and it wouldn't matter if you were ordered to put them ten screens down, because users could always scroll to see them.

But search defaults aren't the only way that Google locks in searchers – and then harms us by invading our privacy. Google's ubiquitous Chrome browser ties Google's search to Google's invasive, nonconsensual, total surveillance. Chrome turned 15 this year and Google made a huge PR splash out of the anniversary:

https://blog.google/products/chrome/google-chrome-new-features-redesign-2023/

But all that puffery conspicuously failed to mention that Google had quietly rolled out its long-discredited, new surveillance technology, FLOC, which it pretended to kill in 2021:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/22/ihor-kolomoisky/#not-that-competition

FLOC is back, rebranded as the Topics API: this is a system for spying on you so advertisers can target you. Google is spinning this as a privacy improvement because it might someday replace "third party cookies," one of the creepiest web surveillance systems.

But as Ron Amadeo writes for Ars Technica, Chrome is the last major browser to support third party cookies – both Safari and Firefox block them by default. So Google is basically saying, "We are going to improve your privacy by changing how we spy on you, even though all our competitors don't do this kind of spying at all":

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2023/09/googles-widely-opposed-ad-platform-the-privacy-sandbox-launches-in-chrome/

This kind of gaslighting, where Google pisses in all our mouths and tells us it's raining, is the hallmark of a decrepit, arrogant, crapulent monopolist that needs to be shattered in the courts. Kudos to the DoJ for doing the people's business here – and kudos to DoJ antitrust boss Jonathan Kanter for promising that he will not go into corporate law when he finishes his stint in government.

The DoJ isn't the only public agency that's serving the American people. The FCC just announced proceedings to force cybersecurity labels for "smart" devices:

https://www.fcc.gov/consumer-governmental-affairs/fcc-proposes-cybersecurity-labeling-program-smart-devices

This is long overdue, and it's a welcome action from the FCC, which was hamstrung for years because cowardly Democratic senators joined with homophobic, libelous Republicans in blocking confirmation hearings for the amazing Gigi Sohn:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/15/useful-idiotsuseful-idiots/#unrequited-love

After years of abuse, Sohn bowed out. Now, Anna Gomez has been confirmed to fill that fifth FCC chair, turning the FCC into a fully operational battle station:

https://www.fiercewireless.com/wireless/senate-votes-approve-anna-gomez-5th-fcc-commissioner

The fact that there's all this great stuff going on in the administrative branch is easy to lose sight of amidst the circus of federal electoral politics, in which Donald Trump has retained his role as ringmaster and chief distractor.

Thankfully, we have expert Pantsless Emperor skewerers like Ruben Bolling around – his latest Tom the Dancing Bug revives his brilliant Calvin and Hobbes-inspired Trump gag:

https://boingboing.net/2023/09/06/tom-the-dancing-bug-a-calvinesque-and-hobbesian-look-at-taking-a-mug-shot.html

Well, that's me signing off for the weekend – I've got to pack for my flight to Toronto. If you're looking for more weekend fun, check out the trailer for Fractured Veil, the video game my old pal Chris DiBona has been working on for seven years and which is heading for Steam early access next month:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjNd3QQnENU

Just watch it. I mean. Wow.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/09/nein-nein/#everything-is-miscellaneous

Image: Roel Schroeven (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/roelschroeven/45413895

CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

142 notes · View notes

thisapplepielife · 10 months

Text

Written for the @steddiemas challenge.

Yours for the Weekend

Prompt Day 4: Winter-Themed Songs | Word Count: 8340 | Rating: M | CW: Mild Sexual Content | Tags: AU, No Upside Down, Future Fic, Going Home, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Eddie POV

Also available right here on A03.

Eddie steps out of the car, right between the Methodist church and the Hawkins High School building. It's changed. A new building, new paint scheme, a freshly paved parking lot. They've remodeled, and dozed down the memories, good and bad, that clung to this place.

The cafeteria is gone, moved somewhere new, he supposes.

Eddie isn't sentimental for school. He hated school, the three tries he had at his senior year are enough to prove that. But he misses that time, all the same. He misses Hellfire Club. He misses playing music in Gareth's garage. He misses their weekly Tuesday gig at The Hideout.

He misses his unlikely, and tentative friendship with Steve Harrington, that grew into their love that followed.

He doesn't miss his hometown, except for when he does.

"Since when do you miss this goddamn place?" Gareth asks, leaning over towards the driver's side from the passenger seat of the rental car. Stretching, trying to see Eddie's face as he stands outside the car.

He doesn't miss it. Not really.

"It's just changed. That's all," Eddie says, ducking down to look at Gareth. They've all changed.

"Come on, Eddie, it's fucking cold!" Goodie yells from the backseat, and Eddie hears Jeff shushing him.

Jeff's trying to give him a minute, even if the other two don't understand it. Eddie appreciates it. He doesn't really understand it himself. But driving by this place, and seeing it looking so different, did something to him he hadn't expected.

He escaped this place, and everything, everyone, in it.

That's all he ever wanted, and now…

Now, there's a lump in his throat that's hard to swallow around. He doesn't understand.

They're working in L.A., playing music every night. They aren't big, not really. Eddie sincerely doubts they'll ever be big. But they can afford to make music for a living, and that's not nothing. Not everyone can do that, but they've made it happen.

From living in a one bedroom apartment together, taking turns with who got the bedroom, while the rest of them crashed all over the living room until it was their turn again.

Then being able to afford two apartments. Right across the hall from each other. Jeff and Goodie in one, him and Gareth in the other. Their own separate bedrooms and everything.

To shopping around for single studios in nicer buildings, and just realizing that even though they can afford it, and somehow, they can, that they'd rather just stick together.

"Eddie!" Goodie yells again, and Eddie turns and puts his hands up in surrender, climbing back into the car.

Eddie drops Jeff off at home, then Goodie, and then it's just him and Gareth left in the car. Driving through the snow-packed streets of Hawkins.

"You could just talk to him, you know?" Gareth says, looking at Eddie, knowingly.

Eddie could try to deny it, but yeah, that's where his head has been since their plane touched down in Indiana. Where his head often is, always. But it's easier to push it to the back of his mind when there's some distance between him and his hometown. Between him and Steve.

"Yeah, well, last I heard he was getting married," Eddie says.

"That fell apart," Gareth says, "a long time ago. And you already know that."

Yeah, Eddie knows that. He just doesn't want to talk about it. He never wants to talk about, or hear about, what Steve's been up to since he's been gone. If he did, he'd ask. But it's none of his business, and it's not like Steve has been checking up on him, either. He's never flown out to L.A. and he definitely never asked Eddie to stay.

He let Eddie go, let him escape this place, and that was that.

"It's just easier not to," Eddie finally says.

"Sure it is," Gareth says, and Eddie cuts him a look.

"Since when are you on Team Steve?" Eddie asks. Gareth liked Steve just fine, but he was also the first in line to get out of this town, the minute he graduated high school and turned eighteen. He was definitely not at all concerned at the time that their skipping town meant Eddie's relationship with Steve would come to an end.

Gareth looks over at him, "What? I'm not. I'm Team Eddie. Always. But Team Eddie is kind of a sad sack team these days. We've got a losing record going, big time."

Eddie laughs, "Fair enough. But what do you know about sports? Nothing, last I checked."

"I played as a kid. Baseball. Soccer. You know, the usual suspects. Before I found the drums."

Eddie isn't sure he knew that. This is his best friend, and he's still learning things about him, all these years later.

"Just. Talk to him. Either finish it for good, or…"

"Just pick open some old scabs?" Eddie says, sarcastically.

"Sure, do that. We've got a first aid kit. We can bandage you up again. We did it the last time," Gareth says, and they did. They have. Over and over, for ten years. Without his friends, without his band, he doesn't know where he'd be. Aimless. Shiftless. A wanderer.

Just…lost.

"If I see him, I see him," Eddie finally concedes.

But he has no plans to see Steve Harrington. Not this trip. Not any trip.

He's snuck in and out of town a few times over the years, and hasn't ran into Steve yet. He's pretty sure they're on the same page about making sure they don't cross paths. And that's okay. Easier.

Finally alone, he pulls into Wayne's driveway in front of the comfortable little house. Eddie doesn't have a lot of money. But he worked his ass off while waiting for Gareth to finish high school. And every spare dime he had that wasn't earmarked for the band's move out west, went towards a house for Wayne.

It's not paid off, not by a long shot. But it's theirs. Their home. The trailer was starting to cost more to upkeep than a down payment on a house would be, so Eddie made that his goal. The last thing he'd do before he left town.

He did it. They'd moved Wayne in. Him and Gareth, Jeff and Goodie. Steve. The kids.

And then Steve had watched him go. It wasn't dramatic, their parting. The lore of it, between their friends, is far more interesting than the actual break-up ever was.

It was just quiet recognition that it was over. Eddie was going, and Steve was staying.

And he has stayed, all these years, as far as Eddie knows.

Steve opened an ice cream shop, selling artisan ice cream. Dustin has said Steve took some classes to learn how to make ice cream. Real ice cream. Fancy ice cream. And he took others to figure out how to run the business side. Ice cream, though. That's kind of a hilarious choice, after his stint at Scoops Ahoy when they were teens.

Less hilarious, was that Steve fell in love again, and almost married someone else. A woman Eddie never met, and he's glad. He couldn't have handled it. Not a chance in hell. But, it didn't matter, Eddie heard through the grapevine a year or two ago that the relationship had ended, just as quietly as theirs had.

At least Eddie had nothing to do with it. He would have, if all their mutual friends had gotten their way. Everybody had reached out, making sure he knew. Like it was his place to object. He left. Steve was bound to find someone else, eventually.

Eddie's never bothered with love again. He doesn't have the time or the energy. His heart was broken, by his own doing, a decade ago. And he's just never felt like sweeping up the shattered pieces of his heart, to try to give them to someone else.

It's broken, pretty much beyond repair, and he's used to it by now. He has one-night stands, he fucks around when the itch arises, but his heart? That's not in play. Not anymore. Been there, done that.

He gave that away a long time ago.

Steve never gave it back, and Eddie never asked him to, so, here they are.

Wayne opens the front door, and that's Eddie's cue. He steps out of the car and Wayne smiles.

Eddie jogs up the drive, careful of the ice, but he can't resist rushing into his arms, barreling into his chest, squeezing him tight.

"There's my boy," Wayne says quietly, and Eddie just holds on longer. He might be over thirty years old, but he's still Wayne's boy. Always has been, always will be. "Merry Christmas, Eddie. I'm glad you came home."

"Me too, old man."

Hawkins might be a place he's avoided, but he's missed Uncle Wayne like crazy.

He's thirty-two, but he suddenly feels much older, for some reason.

Wayne cooks them dinner, just like he always did, and Eddie sits down in the recliner next to him, plate in hand, right in front of the television.

The television is new since the last time Eddie was here, and large. Very large. Not at all in Wayne's usual style. Or budget.

"What possessed you to get a TV this big?" Eddie asks.

"Oh, a friend was getting a new one. Asked if I wanted this one. I said okay," Wayne says, not expanding on it. Like that's a full story.

"You finally got some rich friends I don't know about?" Eddie teases.

"You don't know everything about me, kid," Wayne teases back.

That's true. Wayne doesn't know everything about him either. Just most things. The things that matter the most.

"So, what are your plans while you're home?" Wayne asks.

And Eddie shrugs. They're only here for a few days. He just assumed he'd hang out around the house.

"Carolyn Jones called last week. She's expecting us all for dinner the day after Christmas," Wayne says.

And Eddie expected nothing less. Mama Jones will want to gather them all, now that they're home. Gareth didn't warn him, but Gareth probably didn't know about it either. His mom is always gonna do what she wants, anyway.

And she'll want all of her boys under her roof again, around her dining room table, for at least one meal.

So, they'll all go, parents included, and update them all on their lives in California. It'll be loud and a big production.

Not like tonight, just here with Wayne.

Eddie sits around and Wayne comes up behind his chair and hands him a bowl of ice cream. Eddie digs his spoon into it, and this definitely isn't from the cheap, plastic party buckets they used to buy while he was growing up.

This is pistachio. Good pistachio, his favorite flavor.

"Is this from…you know?"

He can't even say his name. He definitely can't eat his ice cream.

"No," Wayne says, and Eddie nods. Of course not. Eddie laughs just trying to picture Uncle Wayne buying fancy containers of Steve's ice cream. It's a ridiculous thought.

The next day, they have a quiet Christmas day at home, just the two of them. And they play the guitar together, and Eddie has fun like he hasn't in a long time. They should have made this trip longer. Only a couple days won't be enough.

They take turns picking songs to play, and it's just like it was when he was growing up. Before he got an attitude. He's missed Uncle Wayne, and this is the best Christmas Eddie's had in a long time.

The next morning, they're hanging around in Gareth's living room, like they don't see each other the other fifty-one weeks of the year.

"I'll make anything you boys want, you just have to go to the store and pick up the ingredients," Mama Jones says, and they start squabbling amongst themselves. All having different ideas.

"She's my mom. I should get to pick," Gareth whines, and the rest of them grumble, but concede. They've never had a bad meal in this house, and they expect tonight will be no different. No matter what Gareth chooses.

They all nod, and look at him, expectantly.

"Lasagna?" Gareth suggests, and that works. That definitely works.

In the store, they've split the list in half, Gareth taking one half, and Eddie taking the other. It's not even on the list, but Eddie stands in the freezer section for a long time, just staring at a small shelf of pints of ice cream. Dairy King Creamery. There's a locally made sticker on the glass, and these are Steve's, for sure.

Eddie reaches for the handle, and stops before he grasps it. That's not what they're here for. Not today. Maybe later, maybe before he goes back to L.A.

He wanders to an aisle he actually needs to be in, and he's squatted down, looking at all the different lasagna noodle choices. He doesn't know what the best option is. The cheapest? His instinct is always to go for the cheapest. But he consults his half of the list again.

Mama Jones has actually specified. That makes this much easier. So, he picks up three of the red boxes, and puts them in his basket, and pushes himself back upright.

"Eddie?"

Eddie hears the soft, familiar voice, and freezes.

Steve.

He turns and looks, and sure enough Steve is standing in the aisle of the Big Buy, right behind him. Pushing a cart full of groceries. Eddie wants to paw through them. Wants to learn something new about him.

He doesn't.

"Hi," Eddie says, just as soft.

Steve smiles at him, and Eddie smiles back. There's no bad blood here, not really, just distance. And time.

And then Steve is coming at him, clearly going to hug him, so Eddie just opens his arms. Wraps them around Steve, banging his basket against Steve's back, and holds on. He still smells like Steve, and Eddie leans into it for longer than he should, he's sure of it.

"Eddie, hurry up!" Gareth shouts, rounding the corner of the aisle.

Eddie turns his head, and Gareth has frozen like a deer in headlights. And Eddie steps back from Steve, reluctantly.

"Hey, Gareth," Steve says, crossing the distance, and offering him his hand.

Gareth takes it, and Eddie watches them shake.

"You all home this year?" Steve asks, looking between them, and they both nod.

"Yeah, all of us," Gareth says, once he realizes Eddie's not going to answer. He can't. His mouth is dry.

"Well, maybe I'll see you around town? I'm going to the Christmas parade tomorrow night, if either of you want to grab a hot chocolate and catch up or anything," Steve says, like it's an offer for the both of them.

It's not. It's an offer for Eddie. Eddie knows that. He's sure Gareth knows it, too.

Eddie nods, against his own will, but it makes Steve smile. So he doesn't regret it, too much. He doesn't have to go. Steve will understand if he doesn't show up.

And at that, Steve walks back towards his cart, grasping Eddie's shoulder and squeezing it on the way by.

Eddie watches him go, watches him walk away.

It is his turn to do that, after all.

When he turns the other way, Gareth's eyes are huge. Bugging out. Eddie just points at him, willing him to swallow all that down, at least until they're in the car.

Gareth seems to understand, and keeps quiet. Which is a Christmas miracle, for real.

It's only as he's bagging his groceries that he realizes the Christmas parade is after Christmas? What sense does that make?

"Is the Christmas parade really tomorrow? After Christmas?" Eddie asks the cashier, and she nods.

"They wanted it on Saturday, and well, you know Hawkins," she says.

Yeah, Eddie knows Hawkins.

They load the groceries into the rental car, and Eddie watches as Steve does the same across the parking lot, putting his stuff in the back seat of his pickup. Steve Harrington has a pickup now. Eddie would have never guessed that.

As soon as they're in the car, Gareth is vibrating.

"Okay, just let it out," Eddie says, resigned.

"You were fucking hugging him!" Gareth yells, and Eddie just looks at him, waiting to see if he's finished. Surely, this mouthy little shit has more to say than just that. But he just looks at Eddie.

"Was I supposed to dodge it? He hugged me first, I'll have you know."

"And you hated that, I'm sure," Gareth says, rolling his eyes.

"I never said that," Eddie answers.

"Well?"

"Well, what? I saw him. It was fine. We both lived."

"Are you going to the parade tomorrow?" Gareth asks.

"Probably not," Eddie says, and Gareth laughs as Eddie's putting the car into reverse. Gareth clearly isn't believing him. That's okay.

He shouldn't believe him.

Of course he's going.

And the next night, Eddie stands on the street, looking like he's waiting for the parade to start. But he's only waiting on Steve. Maybe Steve won't show up? Maybe it wasn't a real offer? Maybe he was just being nice?

But those thoughts, those fears, all melt away when he sees Steve pushing his way through the crowded sidewalk, stopping in front of Eddie, smiling.

"You want that hot chocolate?" Steve asks, and Eddie rubs his hands together. It's cold out here, so yeah, that sounds pretty damn good, right about now. At least it'll give him something to do with his hands.

Steve leads him down the street, and Eddie follows. He's not sure where they're going, but Steve pauses in front of a darkened storefront. Eddie looks up. It's Steve's store, and Eddie watches as Steve pushes the key into the lock, and turns it, pushing the door open.

The little bell on the door, ringing out in the silence.

Once they're inside the warmth of the shop, Steve locks the door behind them again, and nods for Eddie to follow him to the back. Eddie does, looking around as he goes. The wall is decorated with old pictures. The kids. Robin. Lots of Steve and Robin, together. Several of them in their Scoops Ahoy uniforms as teens.

He wonders where Robin is. This ice cream shop is half her baby, too, he's pretty sure. They don't do anything without each other. It's impossible.

There's a larger one of a teenage Steve, armed with an ice cream scoop, his other hand on his hip, looking very serious. He wasn't. Couldn't be, not in that little sailor suit. It makes Eddie smile. He remembers those days, with a hazy fondness. It's been so long now, but he can still picture Steve Harrington behind that brightly lit counter, just glowing.

Eddie keeps looking at the pictures, and there's one of him, too. With the band, when they were young, and still playing The Hideout every week.

Eddie runs his finger over the glass, and feels an ache in his chest. This was so long ago. A lifetime, really. He hasn't felt that young in a very long time. Gareth was a baby. They all were.

"You comin'?" Steve asks, and Eddie follows the sound of his voice. Steve's standing behind the counter, holding up the divider for Eddie, just like he did all those years ago in Scoops Ahoy. He looks even better now, in a warm sweater instead of dumb sailor hat.

"Yeah, I'm coming," Eddie says, and he shrugs off his coat and hangs it on the rack at the front of the store before he follows Steve to the back, where he watches Steve make two mugs of hot chocolate.

"From packets, Harrington? I thought this was an artisan shop?" Eddie teases.

"Artisan ice cream, I said nothing about artisan hot chocolate," Steve banters back.

Eddie had expected a cup of hot chocolate from some sort of street vendor anyway, not one Steve made in the office of his store. His private space, that Eddie's been invited into. To look around, to spend some time with his first love.

His only love, honestly.

Eddie sits down on the couch, and soon enough he's being handed a steaming mug, and Steve is sitting down next to him, knees bumping against each other.

It's nothing. But it's also everything.

He's missed him so goddamn much. They can't go ten years without seeing each other again. No matter how painful it might be to look and not touch. Steve's too important. He's always been too important.

"Your shop is perfect, Steve," Eddie finally says, waiting on his mug to cool.

"Thanks, Eddie," Steve says, "it's been pretty good. Even in the winter, surprisingly."

"That's great, I'm happy for you," Eddie says, smiling at him. "Why ice cream? Didn't you get enough of slinging it during high school?"

Steve smiles, "You know I make a mean scoop."

And he does. Long, steady strokes with precision. Perfect balls.

Eddie laughs, that sounds dirtier in his head than he meant it to. Years ago, he could have shared that thought out loud, but they aren't in that place together, not anymore.

Steve keeps talking, "I just thought, I can do this better. Better quality, better flavors. Just…better."

"It looks like you definitely did," Eddie says, and he means that.

Steve just shrugs, non-committal. But this is great. If he's been able to package it for retail sale, even just locally, that's really something.

"How's the band doing?" Steve asks, changing the subject. Or not, maybe. Maybe this is just pleasantries. All they have to say to each other, after all these years.

"Good. Good, we've got some great long-standing gigs. Guaranteed slots. We play most nights, somewhere or the other, and don't have to travel to do it," Eddie explains.

"That's great," Steve says.

They both just keep saying how great things are. Things aren't great. Not really.

"I'm happy you guys have made it," Steve adds.

Eddie laughs, "Made it might be a bit of a stretch, but we're working. We all do a lot of session work, Gareth especially. Session drummers are always needed, here or there."

"Do you have another job?" Steve asks, and Eddie knows exactly where this is going.

"No," Eddie still answers.

"Then you've made it, I say. You are a professional musician. Maybe not a famous one-"

"Hey!" Eddie interrupts, just ribbing him. He's right. But Steve often is. He was right to encourage them to take a chance on it. To see if they could make it work. And they have. They are professional musicians. Together, and apart.

"Goodie's got a girlfriend he's getting serious with. I think he's gonna move in with her, soon," Eddie says. "Maybe get married."

Eddie regrets saying it, as soon as it leaves his big mouth.

"I heard you were going to get married. I'm sorry that didn't work out," Eddie says, looking at his hands.

"Thanks, it just wasn't meant to be, you know?" Steve asks.

And, yeah, Eddie knows.

"Do you still live with Gareth?" Steve asks, and Eddie watches as his face tightens, like he regrets asking. Eddie gets it. He'd be too scared to ask, too.

So, Eddie answers fast, putting him out of his misery.

"Yep, I'll never be able to shake that kid," Eddie says, and Steve chuckles.

"You wouldn't want to if you could," Steve says, and that's the truth. He wouldn't. He likes living with Gareth. He isn't lonely. And he's with someone he loves. That's a comfort Eddie wouldn't want to give up even if he could.

It might not be a love like he once shared with Steve, but it's still a love. Platonic with a capital P, as Robin would say.

"Where's Robin?" Eddie asks, once she's popped into his head. Seeing Steve once without Robin might be normal, but twice? No way.

"She's on a Christmas cruise," Steve says, with a grin.

"No fucking way. The Robin I knew would never."

"The Robin you knew wasn't ass over teakettle in love," Steve says, smiling. "I'm happy for her. Even if she left me alone for Christmas. She invited me to come, of course, and I thought third-wheeling it on a ship to Mexico might be fun. And warm, at least. So, I considered it, but one of us needed to stay with the shop."

Eddie thinks he was thisclose to missing Steve on this trip, too. If he'd decided to just close up the shop and go with her.

"Well, good for her. Tell her I said hi," Eddie says.

"I definitely will," Steve says with a smile. "I'm sure she'll say hi back."

Eddie isn't so sure about that. Robin was very against Eddie leaving back then, and wasn't scared to let them all know. She was the only one fighting for them to stay, and she lost, all her protests drowned out by Eddie's need to run.

"Did you have a good Christmas?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah, it was quiet. A day off, though, so that was nice," Steve says. "You?"

"Yeah, it was just Wayne and me at the house. But that was good."

"I'm sure he's missed you," Steve says.

"I've definitely missed him," Eddie answers, because he has. More than he realized, maybe.

This is getting too serious, too sad, so Eddie needs to fix that.

"Am I gonna get to try any of this famous ice cream?" Eddie asks, changing the subject to something lighter, and Steve laughs, but jerks his head towards the front of the store.

He picks up one of the little sample spoons, and dips it into a tub, and hands it to Eddie.

"What is it?" Eddie asks.

"Just try it, Munson," Steve says, and Eddie does as he was told.

It's sweet, and chocolate based, but with a depth Eddie can't put his finger on.

"Chocolate Cherry Bourbon," Steve says, and Eddie smiles.

"It's good. Really good," Eddie says. And it is. It's very smooth on the tongue, like the best ice creams all are.

"It's Wayne's favorite, I think," Steve says, and Eddie looks over at him. He never considered that Wayne would still be in contact with Steve on any sort of regular basis. But they still live in the same town, and Wayne didn't break up with Steve. Eddie did.

"But he also likes this one," Steve adds, getting a new little spoonful and offering it up to Eddie.

Eddie puts that one in his mouth, too.

"Oh, shit, that's good," Eddie says, closing his eyes to savor it.

"Butterscotch-Infused Whiskey and Pecans," Steve says.

"An ocean of flavor," Eddie teases, and Steve hip-checks him.

And then Steve gets him another sample, and this one isn't spiked, Eddie doesn't think, anyway. But it's bright red with black and white swirls.

It's a punch of chocolate, deep and rich. And maybe cream cheese? Eddie isn't a professional taste tester. But it's very good.

"Hellfire," Steve says, with a smirk, "hope you don't mind."

Eddie swallows. Of course he doesn't mind. That Steve would even want to name it after something Eddie loved so deeply, is really something.

"Of course I don't mind," Eddie says, handing the used spoon back to Steve and watching as he tosses it in the trash along with the others. "I'm honored. That you'd, you know, think of me. Of Hellfire."

Steve's whole face softens, "Eddie. I think about you all the time."

And Eddie is moving before he's even decided to do it. Pressing his cold lips against Steve's warm ones. Steve catches him and kisses him back, tangling his hand in Eddie's hair. It's desperate, this kiss. Demanding, and pent up, with years of wanting.

Years of waiting.

Eddie clings to him, desperate to be closer to him. Because he is desperate for Steve, there's no denying that.

He always has been.

When they finally, finally break apart, both breathing hard. Chests heaving with the intensity of it all, Eddie smiles. He's embarrassed. But not that embarrassed.

"Wanna get out of here?" Steve asks, and Eddie nods. "You want an ice cream for the road?"

And you know, Eddie does, so he nods again.

So, Steve grabs a waffle cone, and piles it high with a fourth untested flavor, handing it over.

Eddie licks it, and it's pistachio. Eddie's favorite.

"My favorite," Eddie says, and Steve smiles.

"Yeah, I remember," Steve says, and that settles right into Eddie's chest.

Steve reaches into the freezer and turns the little sign that's stuck into the ice cream around, so Eddie can read it: Eddie's Pistachio.

He grins at Steve, and takes another lick. This one with a promise behind it.

Steve helps him put on his coat, trying to help him juggle it and the cone. And when they step onto the street, Steve looks at him, "You drive here?"

Eddie shakes his head. Wayne only lives a couple blocks away, and he figured finding parking would be a bigger hassle than just walking.

Steve puts his hand on the small of Eddie's back, and leads him around the block, and then into the alley. His pickup is parked back there. There's a perk, Eddie supposes. Dedicated parking.

Eddie climbs up in it, and settles in, still licking his ice cream cone. And Steve pulls them onto the street, and away from the parade. Since most of the town is there, the streets are dead. And Eddie looks around, taking in the lights.

Steve knows what he's doing, of course he does, so he steers them into Loch Nora, and lets him look at the rich houses, decorated to the nines. At least that's never changed.

They pass Harrington House, and Eddie wonders if Steve lives there. Or, if his parents still do. Steve reads his mind.

"My mom and dad flew south a few years ago," Steve says, "and by that time I had my own house, so they sold it."

Eddie nods. He knows it's hard to leave your childhood home, permanently. He's done it twice. He's an expert, and it hurts in a way you never expect, and you never really get over. That the place you grew up, isn't yours to call home anymore.

"I'm sorry," Eddie says, and Steve smiles.

"It's okay. I like my house," Steve says. "You want to see it?"

And Eddie swallows. He knows what that offer entails, if he wants it to, and he nods, "Yeah. I do."

"Finish that cone, and we'll do that," Steve says, and it's husky and full of promise.

Eddie licks faster.

They pull up in front of a house in one of the nicer neighborhoods, but not Loch Nora. And Eddie follows Steve up the path, and onto the porch. Once they're inside, Steve pushes his front door closed behind them, grappling for Eddie's coat, trying to strip it off his shoulders, but they're too close to each other. Too tangled, and Eddie laughs.

He helps the process along, shedding it, finally.

And then he's attached to Steve, again. It's desperate, and he should probably be embarrassed, but he's not. He needs this. He needs Steve. He's always needed Steve.

And he lets Steve lead him to his bedroom.

Steve's walking him backwards, kissing him, hands roaming all over Eddie's body.

"Where have you been all my life?" Eddie asks, pressing his face into Steve's neck.

"Right here where you left me," Steve answers, but there's no heat behind it, only the truth.

And Eddie presses his lips to Steve's neck, and smiles when Steve moans under his touch. Eddie loves to know that he can still play him like a goddamn fiddle, it makes him endlessly happy.

Steve kicks open his bedroom door, and pulls his shirt over his head. Eddie follows his lead, and watches as Steve digs in his nightstand, producing a bottle of lube and a row of condoms.

He throws them on the bed, and starts pulling his jeans down.

Fuck, yes.

After, Steve is stroking the back of his hand, legs tangled together, the sheet pooled around their waists. Eddie hasn't been this warm in years. This comfortable. Not since Steve, the first time.

"I know you have a whole life there, and I have a whole life here," Steve says, "but if you want to pretend things are the same, just for a while. Just while you're here. We could. We can, you know. I've missed you."

And Eddie wants.

Wants that more than anything, but he's scared that blundering down the road not taken is just going to hurt more than ever before once they reach that fork at the end, again. That dead end that separates them off, again.

But he's already in this. The damage has been done. So, he turns and smiles. Nodding.

"I've missed you, too."

And the grin Steve gives him is blinding.

"I could be your sweetheart, again, just for the weekend. While you're home," Steve says, like that isn't something that's going to break Eddie's fucking heart.

Eddie gathers up Steve's hand, and pulls it to his chest, his heart.

Steve's been his sweetheart for a long time, together or not.

"You've always been my sweetheart," Eddie says, and it might sound like bullshit, but it's the truth. It's always been the truth.

Steve burrows closer, resting his head on Eddie's chest. Over his heart. He runs his fingers over Eddie's bare stomach, touching the tattoos there. He's gotten a lot more ink since he's seen Steve last, and Steve is touching them all, getting acquainted.

Eddie runs his hand down Steve's arm, pausing at a raised scar under his elbow.

"Oven rack. Decided right then and there that cookies in the shop were a no go," Steve says, laughing a little into Eddie's skin.

"Sounds wise," Eddie says, and he'd kiss the scar if he could reach it. Later. He'll do it later.

The door that was cracked open, pushes open wider, and Eddie just about jumps out of his skin.

"That's just Pudding," Steve says, as a big, fluffy cream colored cat jumps up onto the bed. Then stopping at the foot, looking at Eddie.

Steve laughs, "It's fine, Puddy. C'mere, boy. It's just Eddie."

Like the cat is going to understand that, Eddie thinks, but the cat stomps up Steve's legs, and then steps a tentative paw onto Eddie's bare chest. Eddie reaches out and pets him on head, and the big cat leans into Eddie's touch.

"See? You're already friends," Steve says, and he isn't sure if Steve is talking to him or the cat.

The cat meows, and then hops down, before walking back out the door he'd opened.

Steve curls back up against Eddie, wrapping his arm over his chest.

"You'll still be here in the morning, right?" Steve asks.

"I'll still be here," Eddie promises, and closes his eyes.

And he is, and they sleep in, just lazing in bed all morning. Trading kisses, and blow jobs, and just touching each other all over before Steve has to get up and open the shop. He drops Eddie back off at Wayne's with a goodbye kiss, and Wayne steps out on the porch, and waves. Steve waves back, and Eddie trudges through the snow towards the house. It snowed more overnight, leaving a fresh layer of white all over town.

It looks brand new.

It feels brand new.

Eddie slips past Wayne at the door, "Don't say a word, old man."

"I wouldn't dare," Wayne answers, holding the door open for him.

When the doorbell rings, Eddie's hopeful, for just a second, that it's Steve. But Steve's at work, and Robin's out of the country.

So, it's not Steve, it's just Gareth.

"I tried to call you this morning. Wayne said you didn't come home last night," Gareth says, slightly snippy.

He pushes past Eddie, already hanging up his coat. Eddie guesses he's staying.

"So, I take it you two talked," Gareth says, finally looking at Eddie.

"Yeah, we talked," Eddie says.

"And fucked?" Gareth asks, and Eddie isn't going to be shamed by this kid.

"And fucked. What of it?"

"Was just trying to gauge how bad the cleanup from this was gonna be. So, bad, right?"

Eddie shrugs. He doesn't think so. It doesn't feel bad right now, but maybe it will when the weekend ends, and he's back in L.A., without Steve, again.

"We were just two old friends, having some casual sex," Eddie says, knowing it's a lie even as it rolls off his tongue.

Gareth laughs, "You and I are old friends. And we don't have casual sex with each other."

"Did you want to? You never said," Eddie teases, and Gareth shoves his shoulder.

Eddie smiles at him, then decides to be honest, "You know what I mean. It's comfortable, with Steve. With someone you know that well, even if a lot of time has passed. It was just like riding a bike."

"Eddie…"

"Gareth…" Eddie mocks, then softens, "I'm a big boy. I know what I've done."

"I hope so," Gareth says, digging around in Wayne's fridge, then moving to the freezer.

"And you're already buying his fancy-ass ice cream, you're just asking to suffer," Gareth says, plucking a tub out of the freezer.

"Those aren't mine, and Wayne's a dirty liar," Eddie laughs. "He gave me some the other night, and I asked if it was Steve's, and he said no."

"Well, it is from the Dairy King himself," Gareth says, popping off the lid of a bright purple container, peeling back the foil seal, and getting a spoon. "You want?"

Eddie lets Gareth feed him a spoonful, and it's good. They've all been good so far, but Eddie's not really surprised.

He turns the container in Gareth's hand so he can read the label: Lavender Berry.

"Are you gonna give me shit about this?" Eddie asks, and Gareth just looks at him. Shoving another spoonful in his mouth.

Then, Gareth looks away, and that's not the reaction Eddie was expecting.

"What?" Eddie asks.

"You are coming home with us, right? Back to L.A.?" Gareth asks, not looking at him.

Eddie reaches forward and squeezes both of his shoulders, "Yes, I'm going home with you. I promise."

Gareth nods, but doesn't really look like he believes him, and Eddie understands why.

Wayne comes in later and nods at them.

"I owe you some ice cream," Gareth says, and Wayne just nods again.

Wayne just doesn't get too worked up about things like that. He knew Eddie was home. Anything in house would be fair game to eat, as far as Wayne would remember.

"So, I thought that ice cream the other night wasn't Steve's?" Eddie asks, eyeing Wayne as he stands by his edge of the couch.

"Steve's? You never asked if it was Steve's, you asked if it was you know's and it sure wasn't," Wayne says, with just a hint of a smirk.

"You're an asshole, old man."

"Learned it from you," Wayne says back, and pops Eddie on the head with the newspaper he has in his hand.

Eddie grins up at him

Steve turns up again, after his shop has closed for the evening, and while they didn't have plans, Eddie was waiting on him. Steve has a brown paper sack, and opens the freezer and starts refilling it.

"Gareth stopped by earlier, said he owed Wayne some ice cream," Steve says, replacing a purple pint container just like the one Gareth had eaten, and then several others.

Eddie picks up a green one: Eddie's Pistacho.

It's a love letter, and one Steve probably assumed Eddie would never read.

"He didn't owe him that much ice cream," Eddie teases, and Steve laughs.

"Some are from me. I try to keep him stocked up," Steve says, and Eddie loves him for that. He loves him for lots of things, but especially that he's still stayed in contact with Wayne while Eddie was gone.

Wayne's out at his usual bar with his friends, and Steve settles onto the couch with Eddie, draping arm over Eddie's shoulders. It looks casual, but it's not. Eddie knows better, but he doesn't care, and he leans into Steve's side.

They hadn't made plans, but Eddie had still expected him. He thinks they're gonna just gonna act like nothing has changed, for these couple days. He's okay with that, okay with anything he can get.

Steve is scratching his blunt nails against Eddie's jeans, and it's driving Eddie a little crazy.

"Want to go out and eat, or…" Steve trails off.

"Anything is good with me," Eddie answers, and that's true.

Steve gets up and starts going through Wayne's cabinets, and watching him, Eddie is certain it's not the first time he's been in this house, in that kitchen. Wayne has never mentioned that, but Eddie understands why he didn't.

"We could make pancakes?" Steve offers, and Eddie nods.

It's just a box mix, but they stand together, and watch each pancake brown and bubble in the old cast iron pan. Steve's putting butter down to melt before spooning each one into the hot skillet. They're thick and fluffy, and when they sit down at the bar to eat them, they are pretty damn good for being from a box.

Eddie doesn't cook all that much with their weird, late hours, and Gareth doesn't either, so they rely on delivery and take-out a lot more than they should. They could make pancakes from a box. Maybe they should, more often. Get his own cast iron pan, and grow up, maybe.

After they've eaten, they do the dishes, side-by-side, and one thing leads to another, and they push and pull each other into Eddie's bedroom, not stopping until they're sprawled out on the bed, Steve on top of him.

Eddie cups Steve's face, and Steve leans into his touch, turning his face until he can press a kiss into Eddie's palm.

And that's…everything. The dam between has not only sprung a leak, it's now rushing out full speed, wide open.

"Sweetheart," Eddie says, and Steve closes his eyes, just leaning into Eddie's touch.

"I still love you, Eddie," Steve says, eyes still closed.

And Eddie grips his hip with his other hand, "I still love you, too."

Then Steve presses down, grinding their bodies together, and it's like no time has passed. Like he's still twenty-two, and madly in love with his boy.

No, now he's thirty-two, and madly in love with this man.

They're cuddled up on the couch, watching television, when Wayne comes home.

"Night, boys," Wayne says as he passes through, heading on to bed.

"Well, I should go," Steve says, standing.

Eddie stands with him.

"You can stay, you know," Eddie says, and Steve nods. They fly out tomorrow. He wants Steve to stay. Or he'll go home with Steve. Whatever Steve wants. He wants one more night with him, however he can get it.

And Steve walks to the guest room, so Eddie follows. The sheets are still a tangled mess from earlier, and he's sure Wayne noticed as he walked by. Eddie doesn't care, and he knows that Wayne doesn't either.

Eddie didn't pack a lot of clothes, but he rummages through what he has, and throws Steve a t-shirt and a pair of boxers.

Steve holds them, and smiles back at him.

They get ready for bed, and then curl up together under the quilt. Hands and mouths wandering, as they whisper promises to each other in the dark that Eddie hopes they can keep.

When the sun peeks through the curtains, Eddie groans. He's not ready. He wasn't ready the first time, and he's definitely not ready now. They eat breakfast with Wayne, sitting around the kitchen table, drinking coffee, just talking. After Wayne goes to work, hugging Eddie goodbye until next time, they take a shower together, and Eddie memorizes every inch of Steve's body. Every new mole, every new scar. The fact that he has even thicker chest hair than he had, before.

Eddie wants to remember it all.

There's a horn honking out front, and it's the band, ready to go. Eddie's not ready. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

He hugs Steve a little longer, before the honking becomes too much to ignore. Wayne's neighbors are gonna get pissed.

Eddie opens the front door to acknowledge them, and none of them seem surprised to see Steve following him out of the house. He supposes Gareth told them, or Steve's truck in the drive gave it away.

Steve leans in, hugging Eddie again, pressing their lips together, before breaking apart. Steve leans his face close to Eddie's, "It was nice to be your sweetheart again."

And Eddie wants to cry, might just do it.

He cups Steve's cheek, "You're always gonna be my sweetheart."

"Can we-"

"Eddie, c'mon! We're gonna miss our flight!" Goodie screams from the backseat, interrupting Steve. A broken record, that one.

Steve has him pressed against the side of the car, but Eddie manages to get his hand behind him, flipping Goodie off through the window. He feels the window coming down, and he snatches his hand back before Goodie crushes his hand, or bites his fingers. Something unpleasant, for sure.

Eddie pushes off the car, still kissing Steve, still pressed close together.

When they finally break apart, Eddie rests his forehead on Steve's.

"We're gonna make this work, right?" Eddie asks. "For longer than the weekend?"

And Steve nods.

"I gotta go now," Eddie says, even if he doesn't want to. Not at all. "But I'd rather stay with you. You know that, right? I'm not running from you. Not again."

"I know. Call me when you get home," Steve says.

"I will," Eddie promises.

"I'll come see you next month," Steve promises, and Eddie squeezes him harder.

"Eddie!" Jeff yells, and Eddie knows that's his actual cue. If Jeff's getting involved, they actually are running late.

"I love you, sweetheart," Eddie says, "I've always loved you."

"I've always loved you, too," Steve echoes, and Eddie kisses him one more time.

And then they're driving away, Steve in the rearview mirror, just like he was a decade ago.

Only, this time, he's smiling and waving.

Eddie leans out of the passenger window, and winter air is freezing, but he looks back, waves, and blows Steve a kiss.

He can't see the details of Steve's face, not from this far, but he sees his hands in his pockets, and how he rocks backwards on his heels. And Eddie can read that body language, perfectly, even all these years later.

He's laughing.

Eddie slides back into his seat, and he smiles, pulling his hair over his mouth.

"Jesus Christ," Goodie mumbles, and Eddie tosses his head back and laughs. Gareth reaches over and pats him on the thigh, and Eddie turns and smiles at him, and Gareth is smiling back.

"Hey, sweetheart," Eddie says, wedging the phone against his ear as he's unpacking his suitcase.

"Hey, honey," Steve says, and Eddie can hear the smile on his face. "Your flight okay?"

"Uneventful. Except Goodie acting like a big ol' baby. He's thirty years old and still scared to fly. He's ridiculous. We haven't crashed yet," Eddie teases and Steve laughs.

"Be nice," Steve tells him, and Eddie laughs. Impossible. If they weren't making fun of each other, something would really be wrong. "Robin's home. She's mad she missed the big reunion."

"Well, she should haven't decided to go on a Christmas cruise," Eddie says.

"That's what I said!" Steve hollers, and Eddie can hear Robin in the background scrabbling for the phone.

"Hey, dingus número dos" she says.

"Hey, Buckley," Eddie says, "sorry I missed you."

"Yeah, yeah, I bet you are," she says, like she's threatening. She's not threatening. Well, not too threatening. "You better listen to me, Munson. If you hurt him-"

"I know, I know," Eddie says, "I'm in to win it, Buckley."

"You better be," she says, and then she lowers her voice to a whisper, "I've missed you, too, you know."

"Back at you, Robbie," he says.

"Do I get to come visit with Steve?" she asks, and Eddie smiles.

"Any time you want to," he promises.

"I'll hold you to that," she assures, "I'll just want until you've got all the fucking out of your system."

"That's never gonna happen," Eddie says, and she laughs.

"I'm happy for him, and for you, too. Took you long enough," she says.

He laughs.

They've been in this thing, alone and apart. Now, they're gonna be in it, together and apart. Hopefully not forever, but this is an improvement, that's for goddamn sure.

"How was your cruise with your lady love?" Eddie asks, and Robin laughs.

"It was great," she says, and tells him all about it, and then she pauses for a long few seconds, and Eddie wonders if the call has dropped, but then she's speaking again, softly, "We should all go together, next year."

"Count me in," Eddie says easily, "now, put my sweetheart back on."

And Robin says bye and does just that.

"Hi, it's me again," Steve says, and Eddie couldn't be happier.

Him again is the dream.

And Eddie listens as Steve talks about his newest flavor idea, and Eddie can't wait to try it the next time he's back home. He doesn't know what their long-term plan looks like, just that they're gonna do this life thing together for a while. See what happens.

They didn't do so hot flying solo, so he's definitely ready to try it as partners again. Now that they're both older. Now that they both know what they want, and who they love.

It's gonna work out this time, Eddie can feel it.

And he smiles, Steve's voice in his ear.

Notes: I know this song has been done roughly a million times in every fandom. But it was on the song list for a reason. Because it's a damn good fic prompt. So, more cake? I hope.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiemas and follow along! 🍨

If you want to see more of my entries from this challenge, they are in my Steddiemas tag right here!

#steddiemas #winter-themed songs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things fic #thisapplepielife: short fic #thisapplepielife: steddiemas #gareth (stranger things)#jeff stranger things #goodie (unnamed freak)#corroded coffin boys #gareth & eddie #steddie fic #christmas fic #'tis the damn season

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comphy-and-cozy · 2 years

Text

The Mystery of Love - Andrei Svechnikov

Pairing: college!Andrei Svechnikov x fem!OC

Summary: Boston University senior Vivian Adams is the quintessential Miss Terrier - President of her sorority and star student, with big aspirations waiting for her as soon as she crosses the stage at graduation. What will happen when she gets paired with her ex-boyfriend and BU’s hockey star, Andrei Svechnikov, for the biggest project of her college career? College AU.

Word Count: 11.8K

Author’s Note: I wrote this for @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 for @antoineroussel’s Winter Fic Exchange! I won’t lie, when I first received my match I had a minor (major) freak out (Demi can confirm). I admire you and your writing so much, Nat, and I was petrified of creating something for someone I think is one of the best writers on this site. Thank you for (unknowingly) challenging me to create something that felt worthy to gift to you. I hope you enjoy!

Huge S/O to Demi for beta-ing, dealing with my thousands of messages, and reminding me to be more confident in myself. And to @suitandtys for her endless support and being a sounding board (+ for the 90210 inspiration). 🖤

Warnings: Language, alcohol use/mention, smut (18+ ONLY), unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), some angst, some fluff, brief mentions of/references to anxiety, Greek life themes/mention.

NHL Masterlist / Moodboard

When Vivian Adams met Andrei Svechnikov, she had no idea just how much he would impact her. Sure, he was handsome—anyone could see that—but he was also sweet, charming, and incredibly caring, and he understood her in a way that others couldn’t. He might not have been her “ideal type”, but he certainly became the one that made all of the others irrelevant.

If she thought about it, it was no surprise how she fell for him as fast as she did. He lived in the dorm building next to hers, discovered at some “Back to School Bash” during their freshman year at Boston University. It was awkward, but so was everyone there, searching for connections to make with people that would very likely shape their college experience as Terriers.

Vivian stood uncomfortably to the side with her roommate and a few others from their dorm, doing her best to mingle with other nervous freshmen. There were only so many times she could ask, “Where are you from?” and “What’s your major?” before she started to go insane.

But then, a tall, handsome boy approached her to join his volleyball team, gesturing to the sand court behind him. Andrei. All he needed to do was smile, and Vivian was gone. Soon enough, they were meeting for breakfast at the cafeteria, having weekly lunch in between classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays after psych lecture hall, and meeting up to study in the common room of her dorm with their other friends.

The friendship came quickly, and the romance wasn’t far behind. Andrei found comfort in Vivian’s soft smile and innocent nature, while Vivian felt at home in Andrei’s warmth and his inner child. It was like a movie, the pretty girl paired with the athlete, though instead of the football team’s star quarterback, he was a grungy hockey player. Regardless, he certainly had the good looks of the leading man, with prominent muscles and a dimple that could melt anyone’s heart. When Vivian joined a sorority and began climbing the social ranks of Terrier Nation, having a handsome athlete for a boyfriend certainly didn’t hurt her standing.

Their relationship made it through the summer, a difficult distance since Andrei went back to Russia to spend time with his family. Through regular video calls and frequent texts, they maneuvered the time difference as well as they could have, trying to enjoy their breaks while still looking forward to when they could be together again in Boston.

Despite the familiarity of campus and routines, fall semester of their sophomore year brought new challenges: more advanced classes, an Alpha Zeta leadership position, a part time job, and heightened expectations of a big year for BU men’s hockey. Andrei and Vivian carried the wisdom of sophomores who had learned lessons the previous year, but still had the naïveté of 19-year-olds navigating their newfound freedom. Their reunion after a summer apart was wonderful, but the feeling was short lived.

Between the hockey schedule, extracurricular obligations, and their regular coursework, Andrei and Vivian struggled to find free time to spend together. More often than not, their schedules conflicted; when Andrei was free, Vivian had class; when Vivian had a break, Andrei had practice. It became increasingly frustrating, only having time together at night, and even then, Andrei often fell asleep moments after his head hit the pillow.

Change was inevitable, but that didn’t mean they weren’t dreading it.

The day they broke up was dark. Literally. It was storming outside, rain falling in heavy sheets as students ran for cover under their umbrellas and the awnings of campus buildings. Having forgotten her umbrella that day, Vivian got back to her dorm room drenched. With a rare two free hours before her herNetwork (an organization for women in business) meeting, she planned to take a nap before heading early to the library to knock out an assignment, but was instead met with Andrei waiting anxiously at her dorm.

Truthfully, Vivian had been feeling distant from Andrei, too, but genuinely hadn’t had any time to think about it between her Alpha Zeta obligations, planning the herNetwork fundraiser, and heading into the last stretch of the semester before winter break. Andrei was equally busy with travel, his season in full swing, along with keeping up with the rest of his schoolwork, but he couldn’t deny that the distance from Vivian was tearing him apart.

It wasn’t what she expected when she saw him, dark circles under his eyes and an uneven, patchy shadow of hair growing along his jawline. But as he sat on the edge of her bed, sadness in his eyes, it was both of their hearts that broke that day.

In the end, it was a mutual decision; not for lack of love, but simply due to the rift that had grown between them as their other responsibilities took priority. Andrei held her as she cried, staining his faded BU Hockey t-shirt with her tears. Their last hug was warm, but bittersweet, as Vivian did her best to soak in the last traces of his cologne on her sweatshirt.

Vivian wasn’t bitter, or even regretful; the only thing she regretted was that it hadn’t worked out. Andrei was such a kind, wonderful person, humble despite having every reason not to be, and she knew he’d have success wherever he went. Truth be told, she hadn’t really thought much about their future, past their wonderful BU bubble, but after they broke up, she realized how different their paths were. Andrei was destined to be an NHL star, while Vivian would surely make Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list at some point. Their lives just didn’t mesh – and she had to come to terms with that.

Two years later, Vivian was in the last semester of her senior year, fulfilling and exceeding every expectation set in front of her. President of her sorority and herNetwork, star student, expecting to graduate summa cum laude with a double major in Business and Finance and undoubtedly multiple full-time job offers, Vivian Adams was the quintessential Miss Terrier.

Andrei was also in his last semester, though his college career had taken him on a much different path, focused almost solely on hockey. Drafted by the Carolina Hurricanes, he hoped to have a record senior season before heading to Raleigh to live out his dream of playing in the NHL. The Bachelor’s degree in Business was just a backup, a safety net, should things not work out. But, given that he was a shoe-in for the Hobey Baker and already expected to be a Calder finalist in his first season, his future seemed all but cut out for him.

As their social circles had drifted apart over time, Vivian and Andrei didn’t see each other much, the run-ins at bars and parties less than frequent but not entirely nonexistent. Their ties to the business school kept them in each other’s lives, albeit on the fringes, often passing each other in the hallways on the way to class. Though they rarely spoke outside of the occasional smile or wave, they had a few classes together over the years, a familiar comfort having him in the back of the classroom.

So, Vivian wasn’t overly surprised to walk into her capstone class to find Andrei already seated in the last row, scrolling on his phone. She settled into her own spot, across the room from him, just out of habit, though she offered a small smile when he looked up from his phone and saw her looking at him.

‘Nervous’ wasn’t quite the proper word to use to describe how she felt about her capstone class, but it was close. As she listened to Professor Janes explain the partnered project, she became increasingly anxious and excited to get started. An intimidating semester-long project, surely the biggest one of her college career, it included bidding for company-sponsored projects with varying focuses ranging from marketing to strategy to operations, all ultimately culminating in a presentation of the proposal and recommendations in front of the company’s executives at the end of the semester. No doubt a successful presentation could result in a potential job offer, or at the very least, very crucial networking for a young professional about to head into the real world. In short, a lot of close personal time with whoever she was paired with, and a lot riding on their mutual partnership.

Then, add in the fact that Professor Janes mentioned she’d be assigning partners rather than letting them select their own, an additional layer of suspense tacked on. Her justification was, unfortunately, sound, being that they wouldn’t have the luxury of picking their teammates and coworkers in the ‘real world’, and it was important to learn how to work with someone you may not know very well.

Fortunately—or unfortunately—for Vivian, she knew her assigned partner a little too well and nearly dropped her phone when she received the email from Professor Janes later that week. She read it over three separate times, part of her in disbelief when she saw her partner’s name listed beside hers.

Adams, V. / Svechnikov, A.

Then she saw his name pop up in a text, and she knew it was real.

[Andrei Svechnikov:] Well this is gonna be fun [Andrei Svechnikov:] Should we meet for coffee to talk about it? [Andrei Svechnikov:] The project, I mean

With a deep breath, Vivian’s eyes traced over his name in her phone, a brief but powerful rush of memories flying through her. Somewhere along the way—she didn’t remember when—she’d changed his name from ‘Drei 💖’ to his full name, sans emoji. Looking at it now, so formal and impersonal, it made her heart ache just a little bit.

[Vivian:] Brian’s at 2pm tomorrow?

January

Coffee wasn’t awkward, but it was the first time they’d spent real time together since they broke up two years prior. To Andrei, Vivian had only gotten more beautiful in time, her confident nature making her even more attractive as she’d grown up; seeing her up close only solidified his thought with her long, dark hair cascading over her shoulders. She still wore the same perfume—wafting into his senses even from afar as she approached—and Andrei had to distract himself from the rush of feelings that flooded his system at the scent by waving to a friend passing by behind her.

“Some project, huh?” he asked, watching her slide into the high-top stool across from him.

Vivian glanced at him and shook her head in disbelief. “It’s an awesome project. Real world problems for real world companies—it’s such good exposure. It’s just also, you know, kind of petrifying at the same time, for the same reason.”

“I’m paired up with the smartest girl in the program,” he grinned. “I know I’m gonna be fine.”

Vivian rolled her eyes, brushing off his compliment. “You’re smart, too, Andrei.”

“I’m a hockey player,” he said with a shrug. “I’m only as smart as I need to be, and as long as it doesn’t interfere with competing for the Natty.”

“Andrei, this is the most important project of our lives. I need you to be as smart as possible, not only as smart as you need to be. You may already have your next step laid out for you, but I don’t have that luxury. Not all of us can be prospects for an up-and-coming NHL team.”

His eyebrow quirked, amused at her worry. “You know about that?”

He watched Vivian’s eyes widen slightly, shifting uncomfortably as she admitted to following news about Andrei even after they’d broken up. She cast her eyes down, thumb running along the seam of the cardboard sleeve on her coffee cup, as if searching for an excuse. “It’s hard not to know.”

“But you still did your research. The Canes aren’t even in the Bruins’ division.” He grinned again, pleased with her admission and the knowledge that she’d gone out of her Boston bubble to investigate his future plans. “You looked me up!”

With a roll of her eyes, she nudged his leg with her foot. “Shut up. Of course I did.”

Feigning pain, Andrei grabbed his ankle with both hands, giving a dramatic cry. “Ouch! You better be more careful around these superstar legs.”

“Can we talk about the project now?” she sighed, shaking her head at his antics. Andrei conceded, though he noticed the small smile that played at the corner of her lips as she pulled her laptop out of her bag, pleased at his ability to still make her laugh.

February

After selecting their project—a review of an eCommerce site’s operations and subsequent marketing plan—it was easy for Vivian to morph into planning mode, creating a project timeline and documenting each necessary step to get there. From there, they worked together to divvy up the work, scheduling weekly meetups at the library to review and discuss their findings and any hiccups.

Andrei was unexpectedly easy to work with, accepting the pieces she assigned him without complaint. Sure, he was still more committed to hockey than the project, but he still managed to complete his work (almost always by the deadline), and usually with minimal nudging on her end. He was a hard worker, always had been; she saw it every time he stayed late after practice to work on his one-timer, or the time he spent studying at the library, his thermos of tea gone cold beside him while he worked on his flashcards. He was smarter than she remembered, too, certainly not relying solely on her brain but contributing his own valuable insight and analysis to the project, even pointing out a hiccup she would have otherwise missed.

A lot had changed in two years, but Vivian was surprised to find that many things stayed the same, too.

Andrei still had the same endearing laugh, the one that made his Adam’s apple bob in his throat, and the same goofy sense of humor and positive attitude that she fell in love with. He still stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth when he concentrated hard, and sometimes still muttered to himself in Russian when reading an English article.

Vivian was equally surprised that he still remembered her coffee order. About three weeks into their weekly library meetings, he started bringing a fresh cup for her—iced, with toffee nut syrup and a splash of almond milk—occasionally adding something different, like cold foam or an extra pump of vanilla syrup. It was a sweet gesture, something she continually offered to pay for, that he would wave off and smile, saying ‘it was the least he could do’ because she was the one keeping the project afloat.

Mostly, Vivian was startled by how easily she fell back into stride beside him. Things were different; she’d changed, and so had he, but the foundation of their relationship was still strong, having weathered the storm of time. While part of her felt like she was getting to know him all over again, there were parts of her that felt like she was reuniting with an old friend—and in some ways, she supposed, she was.

Having Andrei thrust back into her life wasn’t something she was expecting, and she was unprepared for how having him in such close proximity would affect her. Though they were amiable, she tried to keep him at arm’s length out of pure precaution, keeping the majority of conversation about the project and surrounding schoolwork. But, of course, it was only inevitable that there were extra details thrown in now and again; a synopsis of his latest game, his brother’s success in the NHL, his upcoming Finance exam.

As the weeks went on, she began to piece together the parts of him that she’d missed, adjusting to the way it felt to have him reclaim a regular place in her life. The details of him that she’d forgotten, like his missing tooth and the way his hair flipped out slightly at the ends when it got long, came trickling back into her conscience, unexpected but not entirely unwanted.

On the nights where their project work went late, Andrei would walk her home, refusing to let her walk on campus alone at night. They’d laugh, tell stories, joke around about the crush Andrei had on Professor Janes. It was subtle, patient, slow in the way the rift between them began to shrink, a small but crucial crack in the hardened shell around their hearts.

The project itself was going swimmingly. It was everything else surrounding the project that was confusing.

Andrei was deep in an article about eCommerce operations, Vivian typing away across from him, when the buzzing of Andrei’s phone startled them both. With a glance at the screen, Andrei grimaced when he saw his Coach’s name appear. Sending an apologetic glance in Vivian’s direction as he stood, he stepped toward the door to take the call in the hallway.

“Hey, Coach. I’m at the library. What—?”

“I just got the midterm reports, Svechnikov. A ‘D’ on your Finance exam?”

Andrei’s eyes closed and he sighed, bringing a hand to his temple. “I know, it was a bad exam.”

“I don’t have to remind you what failing your classes looks like for both this team and your future.”

“I know, Coach. I hear you.”

There was an edge of empathy in the otherwise cool frustration of his Coach’s voice. “I understand that it can be difficult to juggle school and sports, but the rest of your teammates are doing just fine.”

Andrei choked out a weak I’m trying, doing his best not to give his Coach unnecessary attitude.

“Get a tutor if you have to. Playoffs are only a month away, and I need you to have your shit together. Okay?”

“Okay,” Andrei sighed.

“I’m serious, Svechnikov.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Okay. See you at practice later.”

“Yeah. See you.”

With another frustrated sigh, Andrei hung up the phone and ran a hand through his hair while he composed himself. When he moved back toward the door, he noticed that it was cracked open and prayed that Vivian couldn’t hear his conversation.

“Everything okay?” she asked once he came back in, not glancing up as she continued typing on her laptop.

“Yeah,” he smiled, settling back into his seat and returning his attention to his own laptop screen, though he couldn’t bring himself to resume his article perusal, staring blankly at the cursor on his document.

There was a moment of pause as Andrei assumed Vivian bought his lie, his Coach’s voice echoing in his head. Then, her voice broke the silence. “Does your coach always call you to ask about your exams?”

Andrei’s eyes shot to hers, a mix of surprise and embarrassment flooding his body as he realized she’d heard the conversation. Fuck.

“It’s nothing,” he said with a half smile, attempting to brush off the encounter nonchalantly.

“Andrei,” Vivian said softly. The warmth in her brown eyes told him that she saw right through him, just like she always did.

There was another pregnant pause as he debated if he should open up, a pivotal turning point in their relationship coming upon him all at once. Something unseen inside of him pushed him to go on, and reluctantly, he admitted, “My grades are… bad. If I fall below a 2.6 GPA, I’ll be on academic probation and I can’t play.”

“What are you at?”

“2.74.”

Vivian was unable to stop the sharp intake of breath at his confession, which caused Andrei to look at his lap bashfully. He wrung his hands together, twisting them as he sat in his discomfort and shame, embarrassed in front of his ex-girlfriend who had only ever received one ‘C’ in her life. It was a miracle she’d ever been interested in him, the dumb jock, in the first place, only logical for the smartest girl in school to move on to someone bigger and better than him.

“I’m working on it,” he said quickly, in defense of himself. “It was just a bad exam. I’m shit at Finance. It’ll be fine.”

She didn’t have to say anything, instead watching him understandingly, reading right through his confident facade. Her eyebrows raised, silently telling him she knew he was feeding her bullshit, and before he knew it, the words were spilling out of his mouth, a confession of his guilt and worry for his future. He had made the decision to stay in school, finish his degree before heading to the NHL despite the fact that he would’ve been eligible after his junior year. He felt like a failure, delaying his hockey career to get a degree that, at that point, he wasn’t even sure he was capable of getting, afraid of flunking out before the semester’s end—in which case, all of it would have been a waste.

“I’ll help you.”

“You what?”

“I’ll help you. I can tutor you.”

“Viv, you don’t have to—”

“Andrei,” she said firmly, “my grades are tied to yours now. If you’re not doing well, then I’m not either.”

“But Alpha Zeta, and—”

“We’re already here together once a week. It’s not a big deal to add on some homework, too.”

She had a point. And she was one of the smartest in his class, majoring in Finance. It really would only just be a little extra help here and there. If he was being honest with himself, it would be silly for him to decline.

His eyes held with hers, searching desperately for the words he could use to thank her. Nothing came, only jumbled bits of Russian and English that would surely not make any sense if he said it out loud, so instead he stood up, crossed the room, and engulfed her in a hug. She seemed taken aback, but she relaxed once he gave her a tight squeeze, a hug that was reminiscent of the last one they’d shared together two years ago.

“Thank you, Viv.”

March Tutoring Andrei came natural to Vivian, a fond parallel to all of the times they had spent studying together freshman year in her dorm. What’s more, she found herself looking forward to their study sessions—she intentionally used that term rather than ‘study date’—though she told herself it was because they were finally seeing tangible progress on the capstone project, and it felt good.

She didn’t know why she offered, or what made her blurt it out as soon as the thought arrived in her brain. She only knew that she felt an overwhelming urge to help him, to not let him fail his dreams—even if a Bachelor’s degree ranked second on that list.

Sure, she liked the ego boost that came from being smart enough to tutor someone else, but the more they met, the more she learned that she liked Andrei best when it was just them two in a study room, free to be himself without the outside pressures of the world. Out there, he was expected to be something, as was she, but being alone with him reminded her of the Andrei she used to know and the late nights they’d spent talking about dreams and goals and aspirations in the comfort of her dorm room.

As the semester progressed, Thursdays became Vivian’s favorite day of the week. Having only two classes and a large break between them, she was typically able to get caught up on the majority of her work. Surely, it was the rewarding sense of accomplishment that made her love Thursdays and had nothing to do with the fact that Thursdays were also her weekly meetings with Andrei.

Yeah, sure, they often ended up staying at the library late into the night, chatting as they worked on the project or his latest Finance assignment. And, sure, sometimes she’d feel his eyes lingering on her when he bid her goodbye. But those were minor details, obviously. Vivian certainly didn’t look forward to hearing the sound of Andrei’s laugh and the way his dimple lit up his entire face when he smiled. And she definitely didn’t like the way he felt sitting beside her, the way his arm would sometimes brush against hers when she’d lean over to look at his textbook.

No, Andrei absolutely, positively, had nothing to do with why Thursdays had grown on her.

The weekend before spring break was always a big party weekend, and this year, Pi Kappa Lambda’s “Life’s a Beach” party was the hot event of the season. Despite not having enough time in his schedule to formally rush and commit to a fraternity, Andrei was close with many of the Pi Kap brothers, and it had become the unofficial athletic fraternity. Needless to say, Andrei had the date marked for weeks. Pregaming at the hockey house with Jimmy Buffett on blast, he was excited for a highly-anticipated evening of drinking and debauchery.

Andrei was talking with a teammate when a group of girls walking in caught his attention. He wasn’t surprised to see Vivian there—Pi Kap was one of the top fraternities on campus, and while he had never really bought into the whole ‘social tier’ thing, he understood the importance of appearances at these types of functions. She looked good, he thought, with her safari hat, Hawaiian shirt, and those cutoff shorts that displayed her perfect legs.

Vivian didn’t seem to notice him, engrossed in greeting her friends, but he continued to watch from across the room, admiring her commitment to the theme and, of course, the way her unbuttoned shirt gave him a view of the slope of her breasts. The more Malibu he consumed, the better she looked, unable to stop himself from glancing back over at her even as he made conversation with other people. He never approached her–partially because he was a little too inebriated to say anything that didn’t involve her tits–but, really, he was just content to watch from afar, observing the infectious impact she had on everyone around her.

Unfortunately, that also meant that he had to begrudgingly watch when she began to dance with a guy—some junior-frat-rat with a disgusting mustache on his upper lip. Andrei gritted his teeth as he watched his slimy hands make their way onto her hips, toying with the frayed end of her cutoff shorts in the way that he would have if she was still his girl.

Andrei didn’t really know the guy—Derek, he thought his name was—but he knew for a fact that he didn’t deserve her, wouldn’t treat her the way she deserved to be treated. Did he even realize who he was dancing with?

Had he been sober, Andrei probably would’ve written it off as two people dancing at a party, harmless, most likely meaningless. But he wasn’t sober, and Drunk Andrei was convinced that Dirty Derek would be popping the question anytime, and it drove him mad, his fingers itching to wipe that smug mustache off his face.

Fortunately, Drunk Andrei was also smart enough to know not to interfere–or maybe it was his Coach’s voice in his head warning him not to do anything stupid before the playoffs. Either way, Andrei kept to himself and his rapidly depleting mixed drink. He’d had his opportunity with Vivian, and had thrown it away just as easily; it was his burden to bear, not hers, left to muddle whatever his feelings were for her alone.

So, instead of wallowing in his own pity, he turned his attention to the pretty blonde girl who had been flirting with him all night. Like any other 20-something-year-old boy, it was all too easy for him to forget about his long lost lover in a great pair of tits. As he kissed her, his tongue wrestling with hers against the dirty wall of the frat house, the coconut rum impairing his system was just enough to allow him to imagine she was Vivian.

April

The sound of buzzing didn’t quite wake her, but the sound of her phone falling on the floor certainly did. Startled, it took Vivian a moment to recognize that her phone was, in fact, ringing. With a groan, she heaved herself out of her cocoon and leaned out of her bed to grab the phone, an unfamiliar number flashing across the top.

Vivian silenced it, wondering briefly why they were calling in the middle of the night, and figuring whoever it was would leave a voicemail if it was really important. Glancing at the time—1:17am—she sighed in frustration when she calculated she’d only been asleep for 2 hours before being interrupted by a call that wasn’t even important. Annoyed didn’t quite do it justice.

But then the ding on her phone alerted her to a voicemail. All she had to see was “Andrei Svechnikov” on the transcription before she was hurriedly pressing the phone to her ear.

Five minutes later, she was shoving on some boots and a coat before jumping into her car to drive to the campus security office.

The parking lot was almost empty, save for the handful of campus security vehicles. When she walked inside, Vivian’s eyes connected with a blonde woman behind the desk, glancing up at the sound of the door.

“Hi, are you Ms. Evans?”

She nodded. “Is Andrei okay?”

“He’s alright, just had a few too many,” she explained, causing a wave of relief to rush over Vivian. She’d process what that meant later. “One of our guys found him stumbling alone and picked him up. He’s over 21, so he won’t be charged with anything; we just wanted to make sure he got home safe.”

Vivian nodded in understanding, thankful for once that campus security was doing their job—she remembered the times she’d dreaded seeing their vehicles pulling up to parties when she was younger, having to slip out of a back window more times than she’d care to count. She sat as she waited for one of the security officers to retrieve Andrei from one of the back rooms, also thankful that they’d kept their hockey team’s star player hidden from public view while he was obliterated.

The tall Russian stumbled into view, his arm sloped over an officer’s shoulder as he helped walk him down the hallway. Vivian grimaced, noting Andrei’s bright red cheeks and disheveled hair. If she had to guess, she’d bet it was Jose Cuervo that did him in; tequila always made him lose his mind.

“Viv!” he shouted excitedly, a bright smile lighting up his face when he saw her waiting in the lobby. “You here! Did you get invite to party, too?”

She shared an amused glance with the officer before saying, “Yeah, Andrei. I got invited to the party, too. But it’s over now, so we have to go home, okay?”

Blowing a raspberry in disappointment, Andrei pouted, but agreed. “Ohhhh-kay Viv. If you say so.”

Vivian thanked the officer for helping her six-foot-something ex-boyfriend into the passenger seat of her car, set up with a spare towel just in case he couldn’t make it home without getting sick.

“Andrei,” she said to him once his seat belt was fastened firmly against his broad chest. “Do you have your keys?”

“You so pritt… ty,” he replied, slumping over against the window, the coolness a relief against his warm skin. Vivian did her best to ignore the compliment, writing it off as drunken nonsense.

“Andrei,” she repeated, more stern this time. “Are your keys in your pocket?”

“Why? You–” Hiccup. “–you comink over?”

Vivian took a deep inhale in, swallowing her frustration before she turned to look at him. “Andrei, you need to go home. Can you get into your house? Do you have your keys?”

Whether it was the firmness of her tone or the look in her eyes, something about her third attempt made Andrei swallow thickly, blinking slowly as his hands fumbled around his pockets. Her heart sank when his hands came out empty, a frustrated sigh leaving her mouth. Back to her place it was.

Andrei mumbled mostly nonsensical Russian as she drove back to her apartment, drifting in and out of silent moments as he’d doze off. The few moments of sleep he got seemed to help only slightly as she helped get him out of the car, legs nearly buckling under his weight as she helped get him inside.

It was only after she stepped into the living room that she realized she had a decision to make. Her bedroom was upstairs, the couch downstairs. Technically, her ensuite bathroom was much closer to her bed than the ½ bath on the main floor was to the couch, plus she knew she wouldn’t be able to hear him getting sick if he stayed downstairs.

So, begrudgingly, Vivian steered Andrei toward the stairs, thanking the powers above when he began to put one foot in front of the other to climb them. She barely had time to think about how he hadn’t been inside her bedroom since they broke up two years prior. Now with a different mattress and a different bedspread—she’d upgraded to a larger mattress once she moved into an off-campus apartment—the thought that Andrei hadn’t ever been in this bed briefly flitted across her mind before he was stumbling forward into it, falling face first into the pillow. It wasn’t exactly what she envisioned when she thought about Andrei in bed—not that she thought about that, either. Not that often, at least.

Based on the instant snoring, Vivian assumed he’d cashed out for the night, and entirely dead weight, he’d be impossible to move. So, she retrieved the small trash can in her bathroom and set it next to him, moving his head to the side in case he did get sick in the middle of the night. She tugged off his shoes and pulled an extra blanket over him since he’d fallen on top of the comforter.

Thankful that her housemates were all asleep—not wanting to deal with explaining why her ex-boyfriend was asleep in her bed—Vivian retrieved an extra glass of water, along with a few extra Tylenol from the cabinet to set on the nightstand beside him. She tugged off her own coat and shoes before crawling into bed, unfamiliar with the dip he created in the mattress.

“Viv?”

The sound of his slurred voice and thick accent startled her, surprised that he was still conscious.

“Hm?”

“Did you kiss him?”

“Kiss him? Kiss who?”

Andrei was silent for so long that Vivian thought he’d fallen back asleep. “D… Derek.”

“Derek?”

“From party... Beach party.”

The memory came flooding back, her vodka-infused night at Pi Kappa Lambda a few weeks back blurry but still recollectable. She didn’t know he’d seen her indulging in the warm touch of her dance partner, but what Andrei didn’t know was that though she was dancing with Derek, it was flashes of a tall Russian that filled her mind, imagining it was him running his hands along her sides. And when her fleeting sobriety returned to her in flashes, and she realized it wasn’t Andrei, she couldn’t bring herself to go home with him despite the throbbing need between her legs.

“No, I didn’t kiss him, Andrei.”

Andrei hummed. “Good.”

Despite her foggy memory, Vivian couldn’t ignore the pang she felt in her heart as the image of Andrei kissing the pretty blonde Delta Phi in the corner, his lips no doubt working their sinful magic against hers. How could Andrei be bothered by her dancing with someone when he’d been doing the same with another girl?

“But you kissed that girl.”

He hummed again, this time accompanied by a loose wave of his hand. “Yeah. But was finkink… was finking ‘boutchu.”

In the pause that followed, as she tried to process what Andrei had said, the end of his sentence was soon punctuated with a loud snore. Not that she would have even known what to say to begin with, confused, disappointed, and relieved all at once. As she listened to his uneven but deep breathing, she pondered his words in his head until she fell asleep, the warmth from his body shielding her from the cool air in the room.

The next morning, she awoke to the sound of Andrei groaning loudly. What she saw when she opened her eyes, though, was not what she expected. Somewhere in the middle of the night, he’d stripped off his sweatshirt and his shirt, his chest entirely bare save for the familiar silver cross that hung from his neck. Before she could stop herself, her eyes were trailing down the muscles of his pecs, down the line of his abdomen, admiring that he was in even better shape than he had been when they were together.

Fortunately, Andrei didn’t notice, instead busy rubbing his eyes and wincing at the movement. “Oh, fuck. Feel like got hit by truck.”

His accent and lack of pronouns were endearing, and she nodded toward the glass beside him. “There’s water and some medicine on the table. You should take it.”

With his eyes still closed, Andrei mumbled a thank you, groping blindly for the pills. Instead of grabbing them, though, he knocked the glass over, spilling water all over her nightstand and the floor. “Fuck. M’sorry.”

With a sigh, Vivian heaved herself out of bed, grumbling under her breath as she went to retrieve a towel. She refilled his glass with water from the faucet, thrusting the cup into his hands a little more forcefully than she intended.

For a moment, the only sound in the room was that of him gulping down half of the glass, quenching only a portion of the Hungover Drought in his mouth. Breathing heavily, he laid his head back and shut his eyes tightly.

“Did we… ?”

Vivian resisted the urge to laugh, instead raising her eyebrows in an amused way. “You could barely walk, let alone make any specific body parts function.”

He hummed, then, “What happened?”

“I don’t know. You had a lot to drink. I got a call from campus security at one in the morning to come pick you up.”

Andrei shut his eyes again; whether he was racking his brain for a memory, or willing away his hangover, she wasn’t sure. He let out a deep groan, the kind that she could practically feel the vibrations from.

“Come on,” she urged, nudging his shoulder gently. “Can you stand up? I’ll take you back to your apartment. By the way, you lost your keys.”

Andrei groaned loudly, fumbling in his pockets before he let out another. “Fuck, I lost my phone, too.”

“It’s over here, charging. It was almost dead last night,” Vivian explained, unplugging it and handing it to him. With one eye open, Andrei squinted at the screen to send a text to his roommates to see if someone could let him in.

They sat in silence for a moment, Andrei’s eyes closed tightly as he did his best to will away his hangover. Vivian listened to the sound of his breathing, doing her best not to glance at the way the muscles in his core rippled as he breathed.

“Viv,” he said softly, glancing at her as if afraid of how she’d answer. “No one’s answering.”

With a heavy sigh, Vivian rolled her eyes and threw her head back in frustration. “Of fucking course they’re not.”

“It’s not my fault!”

“You’re the one who lost your keys and got yourself in this situation,” she shot back, standing up.

“Where you going?”

“If you’re going to stay here, you might as well shower. Might help you feel better. Hopefully they’ll answer by the time you’re done so I can get on with my day.”

“If you’re going to be so cranky, why did you even come last night?” he asked.

“Because I got a call from campus security at one in the morning, Andrei. Scared the shit out of me. I thought you were dead or something, but instead you were just obliterated out of your mind. Great time to get belligerently drunk, by the way, two days before our presentation. You should be grateful they didn’t charge you with public indecency or something.”

“Oh, yeah, because I definitely got picked up on purpose–”

Vivian scoffed, rolling her eyes. She tossed the towel at him, purposefully covering up his bare chest so she didn’t have to keep looking at it.

“Why did you even have them call me? I’m not your–” she swallowed the word girlfriend, “– you have other friends. Teammates.”

It was Andrei’s turn to scoff, ignoring her question in favor of sitting up and pausing for a moment to let the lurching in his skull subside. She watched his long fingers massage his temples, though she knew it wasn’t helping by the way his brows furrowed on his forehead.

“I didn’t tell them to call you,” he finally said. “They called because you’re still my emergency contact.”

“I’m what?”

He shrugged. “My parents and brother obviously aren’t here. I just never changed it.”

Vivian didn’t know if she was touched, or annoyed, or sad—or maybe all of the above. At the end of the day, she had still dropped everything to make sure he was safe; would always come if he needed her to. No matter what she did, she couldn’t deny that she cared about him, deeply.

As he showered, she pondered what all of it meant. And when she dropped him off, making sure he was safely inside his house before driving off with a wave, it hit her so hard she had to pull over on the side of the road.

She wasn’t sure if it was a still, or an again, the details not mattering much. All she knew is that she was in love with Andrei Svechnikov.

While everyone else was preparing for the end of the semester and exam season, Andrei’s season was approaching its peak as BU prepared for the Frozen Four. As anticipated, his name had been announced as one of the three finalists for the Hobey Baker, adding an additional layer of pressure to his game. Although he already had been drafted and had his future in front of him, he couldn’t deny that it’d be extremely flattering to win the award—but he’d trade it without a second thought if it meant he could raise the championship trophy with his teammates.

The increased training meant less time to study and complete his homework, which also meant less time with Viv—though, as their presentation day grew closer, their communication amped up naturally. Andrei found that he was willing to put off the rest of his work in favor of focusing on the project, in part due to it being such a large portion of his grade, but largely because he couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing Vivian.

Before he knew it, presentation day had arrived. Andrei made Vivian promise that she’d get a good night’s sleep—and she claimed she did, though Andrei noticed that she’d made changes to the slideshow at 12:06am, no doubt combing through every inch one last time.

They were driving together to CyberComm’s headquarters, a large high-rise in downtown Boston. Andrei met at Vivian’s apartment, waiting patiently while she checked her bag to ensure the flash drive with the extra copy of the presentation was tucked safely in the pocket. As he waited, he smiled when he noticed the vase of flowers sitting on the kitchen table; a ‘thank you’ he’d sent after the campus security fiasco. He also couldn’t help but notice that although Vivian was dressed professionally, he was pleased that her attire revealed the slightest sliver of skin on her chest, instantly reminding him of the cleavage he’d caught a glimpse of at the Pi Kap party.

Vivian drove to the office, allowing Andrei to continue casting glances at her as she navigated traffic. His eyes slid over the shape of her lips, the dip of her nose, the way her dark hair spilled over her shoulders in luxurious curls—the ones that, in his opinion, always made her look like a model. She was beautiful.

Not that his opinion on the way she looked had ever wavered, even after they broke up. He had always thought she was pretty, and had since the first time he saw her during freshman orientation—it was half the reason he’d asked her to join his volleyball team. But something about the way the sun lit up her skin, casting a glow over her made his heart beat just a little bit faster. She was confident in herself, but not cocky; essentially, everything he aspired to be as an athlete. Even two years removed from their relationship, Vivian was still inspiring him to be a better person.

Once they arrived at the office, Vivian checked in at the front desk. While they were waiting for Sherry, the Executive Assistant to the CEO, to retrieve them in the lobby, Andrei’s nerves began to kick in. They sat in silence, Andrei running through his script in his head until the warmth of Vivian’s palm on his leg brought him back to reality.

She offered a smile that reassured him, only just then realizing his leg had been bouncing as he waited in his nerves. His heart raced, though he wasn’t sure if it was from the sight of a woman walking toward them, or from the touch of Vivian’s hand on his thigh. Either way, he didn’t have time to think about it, for the woman approaching them introduced herself as Sherry, offering to show them upstairs.

Sherry led them to a conference room with a long oak table and floor-to-ceiling glass walls, like an office straight out of Succession. Andrei admired as he watched Vivian channel her sorority recruitment charm as they were introduced to the CEO, VP of Sales, VP of Marketing, and VP of Operations. Vivian, he knew, was doing her best to ignore their decorated titles and the weight riding on making a positive impression; if she was as nervous as he was, she didn’t show it. Professor Janes sat on the other side of the table, offering an encouraging smile as Andrei set up their presentation and Vivian handed out the prepared booklets to each of the attendees.

Vivian’s voice wavered slightly as they started, but by the third slide, she was her normal, charismatic self, her practiced speech coming off as confident and rehearsed but not memorized. Andrei stumbled once or twice, a pink blush coating his cheeks as he smiled through it, glancing each time at Vivian for silent encouragement.

Thirty minutes later, the presentation was done, as were the onslaught of questions from each of the panelists. The VP of Operations, Janet, was the first to stand up to shake both of their hands.

“Thank you, Miss Adams and Mr. Svechnikov. I have to say that this has been one of the best, most professional presentations we’ve seen yet. Very well done.”

Andrei could barely contain his grin, thanking her and Professor Janes as Vivian tucked her laptop in her bag. Andrei led the way out the door with one final “thank you.” Once they were in the hallway and far enough from the door, he was spinning on his heel to lift Vivian up into his arms.

“We did it!” he exclaimed, spinning her around. “We fucking did it!”

“Andrei! Keep your voice down!” she scolded, though it was punctuated with a giggle that nearly punched Andrei in the gut.

“God, you were amazing,” he said, quieter this time as he set her down. “When they asked that last question about the inventory tracking, I completely froze. You are fucking incredible.”

“I know it inside and out,” she said, brushing off the compliment. “You did great, too, Andrei. I’m proud of us.”

“One of the best they’ve ever seen,” he mused, nudging her shoulder. “Put that on your resume, Viv.”

“Too bad you can’t use that skill in the NHL,” she joked.

—

Andrei barely had time to bask in the success of the presentation before he was on a plane to St. Paul for the college hockey championship tournament. Being a hockey school, his professors were more than understanding with their deadlines, many of them offering well wishes before he left for the short but significant tournament.

As soon as he arrived, he was flooded with interviews in advance of the Hobey Baker announcement that was to take place before the game. Either way, it—both the media and the ceremony—was all a big distraction to Andrei; he had his sights set on a different trophy that was far more important than any individual award he could win. But, remembering his media training, he put a smile on his face and channeled his inner Vivian Adams.

When they called his name announcing him the winner of the award, Andrei was bashful and gracious, only allowing a smile once he was back in the locker room with his teammates who were waiting to congratulate him after the ceremony. A minor celebration—just the way he wanted it—before they were back in the zone, preparing for the semifinal game against Notre Dame. Truthfully, he was glad the award was done and over with, though he knew the questions would continue to come even once he made it to the NHL.

After a hard-fought game—and a two point game for the Hobey Baker winner—the Terriers emerged victorious. Coach granted them the night to celebrate, though Andrei was very conscious of his alcohol intake; if all went according to plan, he’d be able to really celebrate in two days’ time, once he had the trophy in hand.

The night before the championship, Andrei tossed and turned, eventually dozing off into a dreamless sleep. He awoke the next morning to a text from Vivian, feeling a tug at his heart when he saw the familiar emojis next to her name; something she’d added herself at some point during freshman year and he’d never bothered to change them.

[Viv 😍🥰❤️‍🔥🎀🌼:] Congratulations, Mr. Hobey Baker! Good luck today! Bring home that trophy to Terrier Nation! 🐶

It was the only time Andrei allowed himself to be smug; something about Vivian being proud of him awoke the unfamiliar emotions in him. If Andrei thought hard enough, he’d have put two and two together then, but when he looked back on that day in later years, he’d blame it on the pressure of the game that made him blind to his feelings.

Despite his qualms and reluctance for the attention, it was only fitting for it to be Andrei who scored in OT, surely a goal that would be on his highlight goal for years to come.

The horn sounded as confetti burst from the ceiling, raining a sea of scarlet and white over the arena. Andrei’s celebration with his team was cut short when the television crew encouraged them to line up for the presentation of the championship trophy. He was jittering, full of adrenaline; the words of the announcer barely registering with him.

When he lifted the trophy over his head, grinning from ear to ear, it wasn’t his family he looked for in the stands, but Vivian. She was the first person he sought out when he got back to campus, Pi Kapp quickly throwing together a celebratory championship bash despite being the week before exams. He didn’t expect her to be there, and she wasn’t, though that didn’t stop him from sending her one—or four—too many drunk texts inviting her out.

It wasn’t until several days later, as he was lying in bed and reading through the ‘good luck’ text she’d sent him before his Finance exam, that the weight of his feelings for her came crashing down on him. He knew he wasn’t Vivian smart, but he didn’t think he was that dumb either, to be completely oblivious to the way he felt about her.

And of course, it was just his luck that his grand revelation came to him the night before graduation day.

The buzz of Vivian’s alarm went off at 7am, but she was already lying awake, staring at the ceiling. She’d woken up around 5:30, or thereabouts, unable to sleep for the swirl of emotions building inside of her.

It was graduation day, which brought a bittersweet sense of pride. She was excited to celebrate, to reminisce on all of her and her friends’ accomplishments over the last four years, but she was also anticipating the looming goodbye to the city that had become her home—and everyone in it.

Of course, there was one person in particular that she was dreading saying goodbye to. Now that she had come to terms with her feelings for Andrei, she’d been mulling over what to do about them—tell him, and risk her heart breaking, or keep it to herself, and wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of her life.

Surely, she assumed, Andrei was already thinking ahead to his future, ready for the bright lights of PNC Arena, the fame and glory of the NHL, and beautiful girls lined up down the street for the chance to talk with him. He’d be signing his first contract soon, worth more money in one season than she’d make in five years. There was no way he would even be thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend from his freshman year of college—not while he had the world at his feet.

Plus, there was the tiny detail that Vivian still hadn’t accepted a job offer, though she had received two to date; while one was in New York City, a fairly reasonable distance from Raleigh, the other was in San Francisco, on the other side of the country. Still, Vivian couldn’t shake the feeling that she should tell him, and she knew she’d never forgive herself if she kept it in and found out years later that he’d wanted the same.

Vivian had just finished applying her makeup when she heard a knock on the front door. Judging by the sound of it, her housemate was in the shower, and she knew the other two weren’t home, so she tightened the tie on her robe and ran downstairs to answer it.

As she opened the door, Vivian came face to face with Andrei—or at least, face to chest. He was panting on the front porch, half dressed with his tie undone as he stood in front of her.

“Andrei, what are you doing here? I’m trying to get ready—”

“I—you look beautiful,” he said, breathless.

“Thank you,” she said, then repeated, “What are you doing?”

“I need to talk to you.” There was a fire in his eyes that told her it was important, so she stepped aside and let him in.

Before she could say anything, he was climbing the steps up to her room, two at a time, and she jogged behind him, confused.

“What is going on? You’re scaring me, Andrei.”

“I—I had to see you.”

She raised her eyebrows, silently asking for him to continue. He took a moment to catch his breath, then said, “I couldn’t sleep last night. I can’t stop thinking about you. I almost called you like, eight different times. And then it hit me.”

Vivian held her breath, anticipating what might be coming next, though nothing could really prepare her for the words that came out of his mouth.

“Ya lyublyu tebya,” he said.

Vivian stared at him, the foreign words hanging between them in the silence. Outside of the occasional curse word or when he was really drunk, she’d hardly ever heard him speak Russian, as he put much of his energy into learning ‘good and proper’ English once he had committed to finishing his degree at BU. “I… I don’t know what that means.”

Andrei smiled, his eyes warm as he looked at her. “I think you do.”

And she did. Vivian Adams wasn’t the smartest girl in her class for nothing. But in that moment, she wasn’t Vivian Adams, President of Alpha Zeta, Summa Cum Laude. She was just Viv. And fuck, if Viv didn’t love him too.

“Andrei…”

“God, I fucking love you,” he said, like he was unable to stop himself now that he’d said it once. “I don’t think I ever stopped. It just got hidden because you weren’t around. And then we got paired together, and I just—”

His monologue was cut off when Vivian lunged forward to press her lips against his. Suddenly, he didn’t give a single shit about what else had left to say, instead focused on kissing her back as he threaded his hands through her hair. He never wanted to stop kissing her, not now that he finally felt her perfect lips again.

For the moment, she was content to just kiss him, familiarizing herself with his mouth after being separated for so long. But when his tongue traced along the seam of her lips, she was all too eager to let him deepen the kiss, welcoming him into her mouth. Andrei’s hand gripped her jaw, keeping her pressed against him while his other hand wandered to her chest, massaging her breast over the soft fabric of her robe—the way he’d wanted to since he saw the glimpse of her cleavage at the party.

Soon enough, Vivian found herself lying on her back, Andrei’s large frame looming over her as he kissed his way down her jaw. Her hands roamed his broad, muscular back, feeling the divots of his shoulders as he held himself over her. The feeling of his mouth on the sensitive skin of her neck made her shiver, his tongue tracing the spot that always drove her crazy. Judging by the moan that slipped from her mouth, it was safe to say that spot was still a weakness.

“Andrei,” she mumbled, brain fuzzy as she searched for the words to say. “We can’t—have to—”

“I know, I know. Just give me a minute,” he pleaded against her neck, mouth making its way to her chest. “Please.”

‘A minute’ turned into ten, leaving her completely naked with his head buried between her thighs. A feral groan left his mouth when his tongue first lapped against her, instantly remembering the sweetness of the way she tasted. He’d never been a bad lover, but clearly the years apart had earned him a lot of practice, for his tongue flicking her clit sent her flying over the edge with ease. Smirking to himself, pleased with his ability, Andrei placed gentle kisses against the inside of her thighs as she came down from her high.

“Viv,” her housemate called from downstairs, bursting her bubble sooner than she might have liked, “your parents are here.”

It only took a moment for Vivian to come out of her orgasmic haze, eyes widening as she realized the state she was in. Her eyes shot to Andrei’s, who was frozen with his lips on her inner thigh.

“Fuck,” she whispered, quickly standing up and gesturing for Andrei to straighten himself up. Then, she shouted down the stairs, “Hi, mom and dad. I’ll be down in a second—just finishing up!”

She was quick to throw on the dress she had set out, hanging completely forgotten once Andrei arrived. Her hair was only partially done, but she managed to salvage it by throwing a few loose curls in; fortunately, her head would be covered by her cap for most of the photos.

It was only when she glanced at Andrei, wiping off the remnants of her orgasm in the sink before she realized how this would look. Obviously, this new stage of their relationship—where did this leave them?—was more than fresh; she wasn’t even sure if her parents would remember that she told them they’d been paired together for the capstone project.

“I love you, too, you know,” she said, stepping forward to straighten his tie. He smiled, stealing another precious moment to press another kiss against her lips. “But now’s the real test—act normal with my parents down there.”

“And pretend I didn’t just have my head between their daughter’s legs?” he grinned. “Oh, baby, you know I’m a parent charmer.”

As expected, her parents’ reactions to seeing Vivian walk down the stairs flanked by Andrei was all but priceless. Her father visibly bristled, while her mother looked surprised but pleased—she’d always been a fan of Andrei.

Vivian hugged them both, apologizing for the wait and hoping they didn’t think too hard about Andrei descending from her bedroom at 8:30 in the morning. “Mom and dad, you remember Andrei.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Adams, it’s so good to see you again,” he greeted quickly, shaking her dad’s hand firmly and accepting a confused but gracious hug from her mom. “Viv and I had to submit a final analysis for our project—there was a glitch in the system.”

A weak lie, but Mrs. Adams was so pleased to see Andrei that she didn’t question it.

“Andrei, will you be heading to the convocation center with us?”

“I’ve got to meet my family, but I’m sure my mother would love to meet you,” Andrei replied with a smile. “We’ll find you after the ceremony?”

Vivian nodded, sending Andrei off with a smile and a “see you soon,” followed shortly by an eyebrow raise from her mother once the door was closed.

The ceremony itself was dull, but the day was a whirlwind nonetheless: many photos with friends and family (including a long-awaited introduction between the Svechnikovs and the Adamses), a boozy brunch with Alpha Zeta seniors and families, followed by a reminiscent stroll through campus, and finally a nice dinner with her family. Before Vivian knew it, it was 11pm and she was at the bar with her friends, taking celebratory shots that burned her throat. Vivian was happy, but something was missing.

And then that something came walking in, a smile on his face when he easily located her amongst the crowd. The dimple she’d always loved stood out, warmth flooding her body as he weaved his way through the throng of people toward her.

“Hi,” she said, as if their earlier confessions left undiscussed made her suddenly shy around him.

“Hi,” he said back, mocking her a little bit with a playful smile.

There was an elephant in the room—two elephants, really—crammed into the dimly lit room with 80’s music blaring over the speakers, but a packed bar full of fresh college graduates was hardly the place to address them.

“You want to get out of here?” he asked quietly, jerking his head toward the door.

Vivian didn’t have the words to describe just how badly she wanted that, instead nodding with a smile. He matched hers, following her out and completing an Irish Goodbye without a second thought.

The Uber ride back to her apartment was quiet save for the song playing softly on the radio, Vivian’s thigh pressed against Andrei’s in the backseat. His hand found hers silently, lacing their fingers in a gesture that went far beyond comfort in a dark car.

I saw you last night and got that old feeling When you came in sight, I got that old feeling The moment that you danced by, I felt a thrill And when you caught my eye, my heart stood still

Once again I seemed to feel that old yearning Then I knew the spark of love was still burning There'll be no new romance for me, it's foolish to start For that old, that old feeling is still in my heart

It felt like fate, and maybe it was, Frank Sinatra’s soothing voice warbling through the speakers about a love rekindled. Andrei hummed the same to her, softly, in the darkness of her bedroom as he took his time undressing her, unveiling each inch of her skin like it was brand new to him.

Strong arms held her close as he laid her back against the bed, settling his body over hers before kissing her deeply. His tongue sought out her own, his hands running over her exposed skin as if he needed to re-commit it to memory. Their position was familiar, the same one they were in just over 12 hours prior, but the weight between them was much, much different.

This time, Vivian’s hands found Andrei’s slacks, palming the bulge she met with fervor and savoring the groan that left his throat. Encouraged and eager to produce that sound again, she dipped her hand beneath his waistband and wrapped her fingers around him, stroking him lightly.

“Viv,” he grunted, nose trailing along her jawline as he held himself up—barely. “Need—need to be in you.”

She agreed wholeheartedly, helping Andrei shuck his pants down his legs, joining her clothes on the floor. It was their first time being completely bare together in years, and though she shouldn’t have been surprised, Vivian was in awe of him, a sculpted Russian god in her bed.

Andrei’s hands ran down her thighs, hoisting each of them over his hips as he settled between her legs. To slow down the moment, he pressed his forehead against hers, eyes gazing into her own before he kissed her deeply. Vivian could feel him, throbbing, bumping against the inside of her thighs, brushing against her core where she, too, was desperate to have him.

“Andrei,” she murmured softly against his lips, encouragement spoken in just a sigh of his name.

She didn’t want him to stop touching her, whining reluctantly when he sacrificed a few moments to part his hands from her skin in favor of guiding his length toward her. Vivian had no breath left in her lungs when he finally pushed in, slowly, his considerable girth something she was no longer used to accommodating. Andrei stilled, telling himself it was so she could adjust; in reality, he needed the time just as much, fearful of busting his load far, far too early.

No, Andrei wanted to savor this, to enjoy it. Though he’d had many partners since Vivian, none of them felt quite the way she did, squeezed him quite the way her perfect cunt did, made his balls tighten when she moaned out his name the way she did—but he hadn’t realized how much he missed her until that moment. Her skin against his lit him on fire from the inside out, and he was sure it was because of more than her body that he wanted to taste every inch of.

Andrei stretched her entirely, the feeling so incredibly delicious that all thought was absent from Vivian’s brain. All she could do was hold onto him, her hands caressing the skin of his arms, his shoulders, his back, her legs wrapped tightly around him as his hips dipped against hers. He was steady in his rhythm, patient, like he was following a beat only he could hear.

When his lips found hers again, he drank in the moans that she offered, tugging her up toward him until they were seated and she was straddling him, unable to get close enough. His hands on her hips encouraged her to move, to drive herself toward the high she desperately sought, that he could feel in the flutter of her heat around him. With her head buried in the crook of Andrei’s thick neck, Vivian cried out as she came, her vision going fuzzy as the climax hit her like a freight train.

Andrei’s arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her closely as he, too, met his end, spilling into her waiting core with a grunt. His body was tingling, as was Vivian’s, but he couldn’t stop himself from kissing her again, doing his best to pour the love that had been forgotten for the last two years back into her.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, moments later when he was lying beside her, admiring the way her body looked wrapped in the sheet, pressed against his frame. The feeling of her, snug in his arms, made everything feel right in the world.

Vivian smiled, shy, burying her face against his chest in embarrassment. He nudged her with his shoulder, adding for emphasis, “You are.”

“Drei…”

The old nickname fell from her lips without her even realizing, familiar and warm in so many ways. Andrei smiled at it, liking the way it felt.

Silence fell between them, comfortable as they basked in the glorious haze. Then, Vivian’s voice spoke quietly in the darkness of her room. “I don’t want this to end.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re both leaving BU soon,” Vivian said, not ready to burst their bubble yet, but the words just kept coming out. “And I don’t know where I’m going yet, but I have offers in San Francisco and New York, and you’re going to be this hot shot NHL star, and I’m sure your DM’s are already full of pretty girls and–”

“Viv,” he interrupted her softly. “I don’t care about that. I want to be with you.”

“But… I applied to jobs all over the place,” she fretted, hating herself for letting her anxiety ruin their perfect, blissful moment.

Andrei paused, nudging her jaw with a finger to encourage her to meet his eyes. “I lost you once; I’m not going to do it again. I want this, and if you do too, then we’ll make it work. Okay?”

“You mean that?”

“Eto vsegda byl ty, Viv. The girl in my story has always been you.”

–

The next morning, the light streaming through the windows woke Vivian up, stretching her deliciously sore muscles before she registered the large, warm body beside her. She took a moment to watch Andrei sleep, his chest gently rising and falling with his breath, features so relaxed and peaceful.

When she rolled over to glance at her phone, she saw the notification for an unread email. The sound of her gasp woke Andrei up, startled at the sound.

“What? Are you oka– what happened?” he spluttered, taking in her wide eyes.

Instead of speaking, Vivian simply turned her phone toward him to show him what had tears brimming in her eyes: An offer letter for a Financial Analyst position with CyberComm.

“That’s great, Viv,” he smiled. “Congratulations.”

“Andrei,” Vivian said, sensing that he didn’t quite put it together. “CyberComm has an office in Charlotte.”

“Oh.”

“Charlotte is in North Carolina.”

“Oh.”

Her eyebrows raised, watching the realization dawn on Andrei’s face as he processed. “You’re moving to North Carolina?”

“We’re moving to North Carolina.”

Vivian didn’t know if she should call it fate, chance, coincidence, but five months later when she watched Andrei debut in his first ever NHL game, a Svechnikov jersey proud on her shoulders, she decided it was best to call it the mystery of love.

#andrei svechnikov fic #andrei svechnikov imagine #andrei svechnikov x reader #hockey fic #nhl imagine #andrei svechnikov x y/n #andrei svechnikov fanfiction #andrei svechnikov fanfic #andrei svechnikov blurb #andrei svechnikov smut #nhl fic #a. svechnikov #hockey imagine #nhl fanfic #hockey romance

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herotome · 1 year

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Finally-official-devlog #112

Also known as FOD112 hi-ho, Wudge here.

Gosh there's just. So much. I'm actually drafting this devlog a few days early so that I'm not suddenly overwhelmed on devlog Tuesday again. But without further ado-

This is the big cheese right here -- each character has their own layer, each character's clothes and expressions have their own layers, and there's a separate layer for the soft orange lighting on top of it all. 😭

On that note, here's most of the individual image files that create the CG with their powers (and my code) combined:

And since this is a cropped version of a BIGGER CG (featuring ALL the love interests sitting together), I had to tinker with the position code a great deal to properly feature these three goons Of course it was worth it of course twas merely at the cost of all my energy and sanity at the prospect of eventually possibly also adding in blinks and expression changes--

Mad props as usual to the sweetwonderfulamazing Remnantation who first completed this CG -checks watch- sometime last year! With some additional edits by me since then~

And, did you happen to notice something new in the lower right?

Tadah... a brand new click-to-continue icon animation! I made (mostly) all by myself! The lil sparkle burst is free from production crate, but I drew the star and added the rotation code... ... Honestly, the hardest and most time-consuming part of this was finalizing the design. Originally I was gonna make it rotate 45 degrees, flip, rotate 45 more degrees, flip, etc-- and messed with that concept for several hours before scrapping it for a simpler, more graceful idea. :| Part of the process, I gots to tell myself, part of the process...

Next up is Jade's powers, as you may have seen in the preview last week. Much like the CTC animation, I did a lot of research on other ideas - various glowing VFX like vertical veins across the cheeks and smoky rising from the eyes, as well as a bigger low opacity character zoom effect - before settling on something simple. Jade's power usage here is... pretty mild in context, and I figure I can always store the more dramatic animations for later in the story.

Here's a still of the effect btw:

Her eyes look like headlights lmaooo. Honk honk!

Do I have more to update with? Believe it or not, yes.

I made some icons, which took a fair amount of trial and error: on the left you'll see an earlier draft, on the right are my more final redesigns from the same day(...night. midnight. I worked on these until midnight).

I had to look up some guidelines because most of my previous icons did NOT look good or legible when sized down to 50x50 pixels. What I learned was, tadah, I had to draw with an unprecedented line width of 200 pixels! (For non-artists: I typically draw with a pen width of 12 pixels at most).

I also studied the icon styles of Persona 5, which saved me a lot of time - they had a cool stylistic choice of diagonally tilted color blocks and thick black outlines.

Here's yet another gif of icons in action...

Did you see them? Did you?? For a split second, in the upper right.... Still gotta adjust some of the text overlap, don't look at that.

Oh and the "How to play" page is brand new. I coded it from scratch... That also took all night...

... Oh. Oh. And remember your MC's phone?

This old thing? Yeah. Visual upgrade:

Also rendered and colored in by Rem <3 Where would I be without them...!

The text, though, can be updated in code!!!! I spliced the phone into layers, with the screen on top and code-generated text just below it, so I can update the caller ID at any point in-game without making any new images.

Took a little while to get it to work... honestly it doesn't look 100% centered... but it's fine. This is fine...

And then... more code. After much tears, blood and strife, I got a musical crossfade to work. It shouldn't have been challenging but it was a nightmare -- when calling the crossfade the second track would either not play at all or its volume wouldn't change and I was starting to develop a preference for eating gravel. But I persisted, found a much simpler code that actually works. After the tearsbloodstrife.

And...... lastly... I simplified this big block of code:

vbox: pos (269, 76) add "sprites/MC/mc[mc_number].png" hbox: if mc_number ==1: text "DEFAULT" style "MC_label_text" elif mc_number ==2: text "LAVENDER" style "MC_label_text" elif mc_number ==3: text "PETUNIA" style "MC_label_text" elif mc_number ==4: text "SUNFLOWER" style "MC_label_text" else: text "TBD" style "MC_label_text"

...(not properly indented bc tumblr is mean 2 me)...

down to these lines, to make my future life easier:

default PrintMC = ["Default", "Lavender", "Petunia", "Sunflower", ""]

text PrintMC[mc_number] style "MC_label_text"

Two!!! lines!!!!!

🎊

Instead of typing out additional if/else lines, I only need to add new names to the PrintMC list. Won't really affect the player at all, but it's a HUGE quality of life update for me!

...Anyway that's it, thank you for checking in. <3

Stay safe and keep warm,

Wudge.

PS screw it I'm gonna queue post this early.

PPS have you listened to our composer's new single yet? No?!?!?!

youtube

Every click, every listen helps, and every song of his is a BOP that deserves recognition!

ok that's all for real now xoxoxo,

wudge (again)

#herotome update #interactive fiction #oelvn #visual novel #otome game #english otome #otome #amare game #amare #amareteabreak #indie otome #indie dev #indie game #Youtube

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hpowellsmith · 2 months

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Revision Push NaNo Progress Report #3

This week was brilliant because I finished the first Honor Bound draft, and also challenging because everyone in my household except me had various stomach bugs. So it was a tiring one for a number of reasons.

I've done a bunch of playtesting, and my wife played through the whole game which was immensely helpful and flagged up a lot of things I hadn't realised.

She is a big Savarel fan as you may have seen on earlier posts:

She also discovered that if you play an emotionally-repressed enough character and then start a romance with Savarel at the last possible point, there was a bug where the game mostly didn't recognise that there was a romance at all. It also turned out that this happened for the other solo-romanceable characters too.

There was also a scene that just... stopped on most branches because I'd forgotten to fill out the rest of those branches. And a starting-a-romance scene that broke off and didn't really finish too. Not my finest hour.

However, she had lots of good things to say about it which was incredibly helpful as well.

So, I've been editing, finalising the saving system I'm using, and also doing the cheats, hints, and achievement guide that will be available as an IAP (the same way the other Creme games and Blood Money have them).

Sunday: 2537

Monday: 5312 (which was when I finished the first draft!)

Tuesday: 796 (playtesting revisions)

Wednesday: 1500 (playtesting revisions)

Thursday-Saturday: 1990 (playtesting revisions, plus 6557 on the cheats/hints/guides)

Sunday: 559 (playtesting revisions)

Current wordcount: 529995 words

Average playthrough wordcount: 93653 words

Week's wordcount: 12694 words

I've still got some revisions to do - the biggest one is related to one of the branches of the climax which I need to change a bit, and also fleshing out some conversations with friends and loved ones about making plans for the future (as my wife said, it felt weird to make a big decision about your plans without chatting with a partner about them, which is totally true!).

But I'm hoping to get all that done sometime next week.

#honor bound #interactive fiction #honor bound progress report

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delta-orionis · 5 months

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Tuesday Again No Problem 4/30/24

This week's Tuesdaypost contains: electronic music, stupid youtube videos, me being tormented by spiders in Rain World, and an extended ramble about my OCs. (Maybe skip the Playing section if you don't want to hear about the spiders...)

Listening

Not much to say on this front, I've still been listening to the Rain World soundtrack. I've also been dipping back into my Repeat Rewind playlist on Spotify and remembered a couple of songs that I really liked a few months ago:

youtube

Watching

I've (unfortunately) been spending a lot of time on Youtube lately (mostly to listen to in the background while I play Rain World- more on that in the Playing section)(also yeah I guess that should technically count towards the listening section, whatever).

I got a big kick out of Drew Gooden's newest video about how the Cybertruck is stupid:

youtube

As well as Strange Aeons's new video about Blingee:

youtube

Playing

I've been messing around in Rain World's Expedition mode (basically: a challenge mode with permadeath- if your karma drops below 1 the run ends). I started a Spearmaster run the other day with a challenge to visit Looks to the Moon, which ended up being a much more difficult challenge than I anticipated.

It took me three attempts- and on my third attempt I got all the way up to Moon's Struts before I started being harassed by a gang of Mother Spiders. It was there I learned that my Switch doesn't like Mother Spiders very much.

Very very long story short- Mother Spiders kept getting into my shelter, and I was desperate enough for food to kill them and deal with all of the Coalescipedes they spawned. This meant I ended up with a whole bunch of spider corpses in my shelter, which tanked the framerate. I had to spend several cycles cleaning the spider corpses and spears I used to kill them out of my shelter. I died several times, and I did eventually start save scumming (if you close the game before the game over screen in an expedition, you can restart the cycle at karma 1). I'm not proud of it, but god damn it I was so close to Moon and I was not in the mood to start the expedition from scratch for a fourth time.

I did eventually get inside Moon's superstructure. I paid a visit to her puppet chamber before I reached the vista point and beat the expedition. It was smooth sailing once I eventually got inside, but god damn, I think I'm going to see Mother Spiders in my nightmares.

I regret not taking more screenshots of Moon's interior, but I got a couple at least. She's very pretty.

Making

I've been toying with the idea of turning some of my OCs into iterators for fun. I have a few very rough sketches, and I'm contemplating their lore. I'm really struggling with their names, though; it's hard to come up with something that sounds nice but also is at least tangentially related to their personalities. I'll keep thinking about it.

(In order: Rhode, Lilith, Theta, and Rhode again)

It's kind of fun to adapt their (admittedly messy) backstories into Rain World lore. OC rambling below:

Very shortly after Theta's activation, they developed an extreme phobia of being watched or interacted with. They subsequently put their entire superstructure into lockdown and cut off all communications with the outside world. They're completely unresponsive, and the only indication that they're even still alive is the periodic rain from their can.

Rhode is Theta's neighbor and only friend. She developed a passion for learning how to manipulate iterator software so she could circumvent some of her own taboos. She used this ability to hack into Theta's communications, and ended up being the first to successfully talk to them after they went silent. Rhode is in a relationship with Lilith.

Lilith is Rhode's romantic partner. She was built as an engineering facility and used her knowledge to restore functionality to some of her own systems after an earthquake destroyed her structure's legs. She helped Rhode figure out how to circumvent her taboos, and spends her time trying to help other iterators with their mechanical problems.

So, in short, they're a local group with two lesbians and their weird goth friend with debilitating social anxiety.

I want to try and finalize their designs and figure out canon-compliant names for them, because I have a couple of fun art ideas. I'm working on it. (It's kind of funny that the solution to my worldbuilding roadblock for my ocs was to put them in the setting of the game I'm currently obsessed with.)

I'll check back in next week, thanks for reading!

#tuesdayposting

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deusexmachinawitch · 1 year

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3DOLC + ROE + 12 hr Movement Challenge (Birthday Edition!) - Results!!

Yesterday I finished my challenge because it was actually my birthday. So here are the results!

❥ Purple things of my favorite purple characters! (Kuromi, Gengar...)

I haven't receive anything yet, the problem of my birthday being on a Tuesday is that most of my friends couldn't hang out. Still, my Mom told me she was getting me a Kuromi silk pajama and I'm getting several Gengar things soon apparently. My best friend is really bad at hiding secrets.

❥ A Kinder Bueno birthday cake! and pizza, especially fancy true Italian one, heck I want a feast for my birthday!

I didn't get a Kinder Bueno birthday cake, but I got a HUGE black forest birthday cake decorated with the acrylic stand of one of my favorite Vtubers. Didn't get pizza yesterday but I did get fancy sushi. Still, I'm getting FOUR other birthday celebrations besides the one yesterday and one of them include pizza. I did get a feast though, I will explain down below.

❥ Any gift from any of my favorite fandoms (which is difficult)

Same as above, because most of my friends couldn't hang out, I won't receive most of my birthday gifts til the weekend or even further since apparently some of my gifts are imported.

❥ New Joy-cons

I will have them next week but one of my friends actually did gift me Gengar joycons, but I won't receive them until I see them. They told me that they got them for me just in case I was getting them.

❥ Spending my birthday with my favorite friends

This was the most unexpected parts. One, like I mentioned above, my friends organized several birthday celebrations for me according to their schedules. Two, actually I had a surprise birthday party at one of the branches of my job where they closed up a whole arcade just to celebrate my birthday. There was a huge black forest gateau cake, lots of food and people could play games while also chat. It was a really nice birthday but it was really unexpected and I admit I was really tired to enjoy it as the party progressed lol.

❥ Free beauty treatments

Got a haircut and a beauty treatment for free. I also got a masterclass for skincare with rice and wow, my skin is glowing!

❥ SP (lol, come on baby, be my gift)

This has to be the one of the things that didn't happen for some reason, didn't even get a greeting. It is a bit discouraging and I admit I got a bit upset for a moment, but it's fine. At least this makes me not focus on him but at the same time, it opened a huge can of worms among the people that know him and I have to clear the air a little. Not giving up, a bit heartbroken tho. I guess I can use this as the thing I choose for @starbursts777's challenge tho!

Still, like I mentioned before, I manifested my brother apologizing to me after 3 years of "no contact" on my part. Which this should show me that I am powerful.

❥ Improvement on my desired appearance (Birthday glow up!)

My reverse aging and weight loss is doing well! Plus, my skin is so snow white, I barely have any blemishes and my dark circles are fading! In fact, my eyes look so big and amazing, I look like a doll!

❥ Money, why not?

Just got a little money, but hey, didn't specify an amount!

❥ A trip somewhere???

Most shocking result as well but I got invited to go to Paris with all costs covered. I just don't know IF I CAN ACCEPT YET because it's in a fixed date so I have to discuss this with work for days off.

BUT HEY! I got the trip!

I got everything I wanted except the SP part, I think that I will give it a try and use this as the topic for the "7 Days Miracle Maker Challenge" that my friend @starbursts777 is hosting.

I'll rest a little from yesterday's party and then do my post for the challenge plus write down everything.

Thank you so much for looking forward to the results!

#law of assumption #loa tumblr #manifestation #loablr #loa blog #affirm and persist #loassumption #neville goddard #loa success #loassblog #3dolc x roe

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lingering-42-long · 1 year

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I’ll be home for Christmas

Soap x f! reader

I don’t know what happened, but the original one either got accidentally deleted or I just never posted it! This is the first of the series. I’ll be home for Christmas. Enjoy

Warnings: none

John winced when he got the call from headquarters saying he would need to leave for duty on Tuesday, witch meant be on a flight to the shitty hell-hole of a place tomorrow. He hated being called at last moment. Being left out of the loop irked him to no end.

Soap looked over at the clock and noticed that his girlfriend would be home soon. She worked at a local pub by night in Sterling and her shift was nearing the end. Just as he was thinking about her his phone buzzed with a text. It was from (y/n). ‘Hey Johnny, I’ll be home in a bit on my way.’

John texted back ‘ok love. See you here.:)’ He noticed she called him Johnny not hunny or babe. She must be tired. He thought to himself as he got up to finish dinner. He hated having to leave her behind in such short notice.

The Cock-a-Leekie soup was almost finished when John heard keys outside jingle and the lock opening. (Y/n) came in on this chilly night.

“Brrrr. It’s cold out there” she shivered and hung her jacket on the peg by the door and was in the process of taking her wet shoes and socks off, when two arms snaked around her waist. “Aye mo leannan (yes my sweetheart). You’re cold aren’t ya?” His thick Scottish accent rolled off his tongue as he kissed her neck. A giggle could be heard from her lips “Already trying to flirt with me this late? “Lass if I was try’n to flirt with ya, I would’ve put more effort into it.” He gave a little nibble to her earlobe. (Y/n) smiled as she slipped on a pair of house slippers. “Something smells amazing. Are you making what I think your making?”

“Aye ghràdh (love).” Soap smiled as he dished out two plates.

“You really didn’t have to do that. It’s so late…” It was true. It was around 1:45am, but John didn’t matter. He knew he did not have much time with his Beloved. “No I don’t mind,” he smiled then his face dropped, “Also I got to tell you something.”

A frown formed on (y/n)’s face. “Let’s talk about it after dinner, ok?” John gave a quick nod and touched her cheek gently “tha gaol agam ort (I love you).”

A light blush formed over (y/n)’s face “I love you too”

Dinner was amazing and the two of them talked about (y/n)’s job and who was at the pub that night. John gave a slight snort when she was telling him about the idiot who kept flirting with her. “Did ye tell ‘em yur with meh?”

“Of course I did but you know how men are, he saw that as a challenge”

“Next time I’ll show him a real challenge” he huffed.

“No need. I took care of it quick.” She chuckled. “I got Bruce to start waiting on him.” The man Bruce, she was referring too, was a big hulking of a man and could scare anyone into submission if it came to one of his colleagues getting uneasy with a drunken idiot.

“Well at least he has been delt with.” John nodded. He was very happy that she could stand up in a fight. That’s one of the many things he loved about her.

“So…. What’s this bad news you have to dump on me?” (Y/n) asked already figuring it out but waiting for the confirmation.

“Lass I got called in for a mission… I know it’s bad timing.” So close to Christmas. It was both there favorite time of the year. It was going to be tough on them.

“Yeah really bad timing.” She bit her bottom lip trying not to let her tears fall. “I had made plans and everything too…oh well”

“Hey now mo aingeal milis (my sweet angel). Yer can still do those things, and the plan is to be home for Christmas… if all goes to plan tha’ is.” A simple touch to the shoulder almost sent (y/n) crying. She was a tough-ie but things that were very important to her still got to her. “I know…I just worry if you will be ok…if you will make it…”

“Aye Bonnie I promise ye I will com back home in one piece yeah?”

“Alive?” She asked

“Alive and well.” He chuckled. “Now go get ready fer bed. I’ll clean up and be there in a bit.”

She shook her head “I want to help…”

“Your tired. You’ve been working all night. Let me do this fer ya.”

“Fine.” (Y/n) trudged upstairs to their room and washroom were she took off her makeup and jewelry. She had worn the necklace and matching earrings that John had given her last year as an anniversary gift on Valentine’s Day.

She looked at herself in the mirror, tears still threatening to spill, a long night and now this? Pull yourself together girl. (Y/n) told herself but to no avail. When she made it to the bedroom to get changed for the evening, the thought of her boyfriend leaving her made the waterworks start as she burst out crying into her pillow, sobbing away. Perfect timing for Soap to walk in, catching sight of his overtired, crying girlfriend.

“Hey hey hey! What’s this Love?” Gently kneeling beside her side of the bed and placing a hand on her back.

“I’m sorry I must be tired, but the thought of you leaving for the holidays…” (Y/n)’s voice broke again as she tried to regain her composure.

“No don’t apologize, ghràdh (love). I wished I could have told you sooner.” He kissed her head gently. “I know this will be h’rd on both of us but we can work this out, yeah?” John got up and walked to his dresser to get on a pair of pants. He liked to sleep shirtless.

As soon as Soap opened the covers to get in, his girlfriend clung onto him. “Aye lass I got ye.” He chuckled and stroked her head. “I’ll wake ye up when I leave ok?” No reply just a nod into his chest. Softly, as if she would shatter in his arms, he hummed an old song and gently rubbed her back. This made (Y/n) break down and cry again. “I got ye let it out. Shhhhhh.” John murmured, now his own eyes betraying him as they stung with salty water threatening to hit his pillow and his girlfriend. He held (y/n) tightly, letting her cry to sleep, knowing that would be the best for her. Soon he was following in that pattern.

It was 6:30am when John began walking to the door with his sleepy girlfriend in tow, holding his arm. Soap opened the door, with his duffel bags in hand gave his (y/n) a kiss. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, you’ll see”

(y/n) nodded sadly. “Be safe out here ok? Kick there asses.”

He gave a small smile “I always do.”

John turned around to head for his car don’t turn back, dont fucking turn back. But he did and saw (y/n) standing there “fuck” he muttered a small choke. He dropped his bags and swiftly dashed back to her.

“Oh lass I am going to miss ye so so so much!” He was shaking. Trying to hold it in, trying to be the big tough Sargent he needed to be.

“It’s ok. You told me last night we got this, it’s not like we haven’t been in this same boat before. If we did it 100 times before we can do it one more time. I’ll be waiting here for you when you get back ok?” A smile laced with sadness stretched over (y/n)’s face.

He pulled himself up and nodded. She was right. With a final lasting kiss he went back to grab his bags once more and this time made it to the car without look back. Setting his stuff in the back seat, he then got into the front, starting the engine, and slowly driving out from the driveway. He could see her silhouette in the dim light coming from the living room as she stood outside watching him. Soap drove down the road towards the airport with one thought on his mind.

When I get back love, I’m going to ask you a question… I hope you say yes.

#cod x reader #cod x you #x reader #fluff #cod #johnny soap mactavish #soap x you #soap x y/n #soap x reader

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fieldsofview · 21 days

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Talk Shop Tuesday: I can see that you're a big Spider-Man fan (and same!! I write for Spidey too!), so which version of Spider-Man do you enjoy writing the most? Which universe do you enjoy writing the most? Is there a particular character you find especially challenging to write, and why?

How do you navigate writing different versions of Spider-Man that interact, like with Spiderverse or No Way Home - how do you make sure each version of the character is distinct?

AHHHH hello hello thank you for the TST ask!!

Personally I like being able to pick a part pieces from the different canons and smush them together into something both familiar and novel. Writing SMH has been such an exercise in sticking to MCU canon while also pulling in all sorts of people and references from other adaptations in a way that feels consistent. My main side WIP is technically MCU based (because it's primarily Parkner) while also referencing Matt Murdock and Kate Bishop and others from the comics that haven't had much/any interaction with MCU Peter. I just like smashing around these characters I love and picking apart what makes them *them*

Personally I both love and struggle with writing MJ. I think because the different adaptations have really written her differently, and I want to find the thread that makes her tick across the extended canon, I feel like I struggle with it but it's a challenge. I feel like so many fica shove her to the sidelines because she's not "the perfect love interest" but I love her stubbornness and her wit and her strong sense of self. And I also love when she's her own person and has her own story outside of Peter because she's fascinating and doesn't need to revolve around him to be a great character with a story of her own.

I haven't written anything where multiple Peter's interact, but SMH references No Way Home so much because that's the linchpin for SMH as a story, and Peter regularly compares himself to what he knows of the other Peter's and what makes him different. He also has a complex relationship with my version of Miles in SMH, coming into his own as a hero as well, and the similarities and differences are so fun to play with and highlight as their relationship grows. Again, I think it's fascinating to piece apart what makes a character THEM across different stories. It's what makes fic writing so fun in the first place tbh.

#thank you so much!!#i hope i answered your questions ok!!#talk shop tuesday #foviewpoint #spider-man: homesickness #practically-an-x-man

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kingdaddydaichi · 2 years

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☆ title: redefining (ch. 8) | ( ch. 7 ) ☆ ( ch. 9 )

☆ pairing: cop!daichi sawamura x single mom!reader

☆ wc: 3.4k

☆ synopsis: four years after leaving your toxic ex, you find yourself a single mom to a 10-year-old boy named musubi, who harbors a lot of misdirected anger. you hear from his fifth grade teacher, mr. suga, more often than your own mother and a resulting friendship is born. meeting suga’s best friend wages a war between your head and your heart - one that challenges everything you think you know about love and police officers. neither are to be trusted. both have left you lost and scared when you needed them the most. so, when a cop comes knocking at love’s door, just how strong is your resolve to keep your heart under lock and key?

☆ warnings/notes: nsfw. mdni. cop!daichi. use of blindfold (in a non-sexual way). fluff. a hint of angst. y/n gets a glimpse of what love is supposed to feel like. outdoor sex. this chapter made me laugh out loud. it also made me cry out loud.

She’s falling in love now, losing control now Fighting the truth, trying to hide But I think it’s alright, girl Yeah, I think it’s alright, girl

Losin’ Control - Russ

You’d been having the work week from hell, and it was only Tuesday morning. As you groaned at yet another email, one for which the reply was going to require a shit ton of research, you heard the ZZZT of a new notification on your silenced phone. Longing for a break from the mind-numbing analysis, you reached for it, your heart skipping far too many beats to be considered healthy before nearly leaping out of your throat. It was the first time you’d heard from Daichi Sawamura since he left your house Sunday morning.

Yeahhhh. You still hadn’t deleted his contact info. Yet!

You eagerly swiped to see his text.

Officer Big Dick: Hey, lady. How’s your day going?

You: My whole week has been shit so far, but hi! How are you?

Officer Big Dick: Pretty good, but I’m sorry to hear that. Is it cool if I call you?

You: Now?

Officer Big Dick: Yeah. Or later. Whatever’s best for you.

Rather than replying with a ‘yes’, you tapped the phone icon and nearly slid right out of your chair when you heard his baritone voice, smooth and warm like melted butter.

“Hi.” You could hear him smiling.

“Hi,” you mimicked, knowing full well he could also hear your idiotic grin.

“I’m sorry you’re having a shitty week. Is there anything I can do?”

You politely declined his offer and exchanged a few niceties before he got down to brass tacks.

“So, I was wondering if you’re gonna be free either Friday or Saturday night?”

“Daichi…” You hoped he couldn’t hear your smile morph into a grimace. “I…I’m not going out on a date with you.”

“It’s not a date. We’ll just hang out. There’s something I want to show you.”

“Oh, really?” A smile began to tug at the corners of your mouth again as your eyebrows knitted with curiosity. “What’s that?”

“Well, it’s a surprise.”

“Damn it, Daichi,” you snickered. “You tease.”

“So will you be free?”

It was your ex’s weekend with your son. “Yes, both nights.”

“Okay, good. Be ready at twenty-one hund - sorry, my brain is in work mode - nine o’clock Friday night. I’ll come pick you up and take you to a super-secret location.”

You giggled, but you were intrigued. “You’re not gonna tell me where though?”

“No. It wouldn’t be a super-secret location if I told you.”

You rolled your eyes, but the happiness was plastered all over your face. “Thanks, Captain Obvious.” You heard the laugh in his breath before you went on. “Can you at least give me an idea as to how I should dress?”

“Just wear something comfortable. Casual. Oh, and warm.”

Friday night rolled around and even though you were tired from the hellacious work week you’d had, you were also excited to find out what Daichi had up his sleeve. If you were honest with yourself, which you weren’t, you were also giddy about seeing the sweet cop again. You huffed a quiet laugh to yourself. ‘Sweet’ and ‘cop’ - two words that didn’t belong in the same thought, let alone the same sentence.

The butterflies in your gut went into a frenzy when you saw the Interceptor’s low beams approaching in your driveway. You would never begin to understand how armpits can get stone cold and sweaty at the same damn time.

You opened your front door as Daichi walked up the stairs and onto your porch, both of you beaming brighter than his headlights. As soon as he crossed the threshold, he pulled his hands out of his jacket pockets and cupped your face. The coolness of his touch offered soothing relief to the heat that had risen in your cheeks as he leaned down to kiss you, but it did nothing for the freefall. You grabbed onto his arms to steady yourself as you swayed in your boots.

Pulling away, he said, “You ready?”

“Yes,” you said, still breathless from his kiss. “And just so we’re clear, this is not a date!”

“Right.” He smiled and nodded. “This is not a date.” It sounded suspiciously equivalent to a man’s secret to a happy marriage - just nod and say ‘yes, dear’.

After you locked up, he took your hand and walked you out into the chilly night air towards his vehicle. However, rather than opening your car door, he pulled something out of his back pocket.

“Alright,” he said, “I’m gonna put this blindfold on y-”

“Wh-what? No!”

He dropped his arms. “I can’t take you to a super-secret location if you can see where we’re going!” He tried and failed to suppress his inner smartass. “If you’d rather, I can put a bag over your head instead.”

You burst into laughter and slapped at his chest. “Shut up, Daichi!” You went to poke him in his ribs, but he dodged, wheezing. You crossed your arms, your lips twisting to the side. “Fine, go ahead. Put it on me.”

“The blindfold or the bag?”

“I SWEAR TO GOD, DAICHI, I WILL MARCH RIGHT BACK INTO THAT HOUSE AND YOU CAN TRY AGAIN TOMORROW, SIR!” You’d never get tired of the way he smiled when he laughed.

After carefully tying the black cloth behind your head, he waved his hand in front of your face before helping you into the front passenger seat. He closed your door before joining you on the driver side.

“No peeking!” he warned.

Daichi had been driving for what felt like about twenty minutes when you huffed, “Are we there yet?”

“Almost,” he assured you. “Just a few more miles.”

“Miles?! We’ve already been driving for so long!”

“I know. Just try to be patient…”

Eventually, you felt the car slow down as Daichi took a turn, the smooth pavement giving way to gravel judging by the way it crunched under the tires. You felt the SUV make another slow turn, the crunching of the gravel disappearing as the terrain became a little bumpier. Daichi brought it to a stop and put the steering gear into park before killing the engine.

“Where the hell are we?”

“Hang on, I’ll come around and help you out,” he said, unbuckling.

Your door opened and Daichi took your hand as you swung your legs around. He had you put your hands on his shoulders before gripping your waist in his big hands and safely lowering your feet to the ground.

You were outside, that much was obvious. There were no other voices, so you accurately surmised that it was just the two of you. As he guided you, you could faintly make out the occasional swoosh of a car driving down the distant highway, but otherwise there were only the sounds of your and Daichi’s footsteps and the gentle whisper of a breeze as it passed through some nearby trees.

You hadn’t walked very far when he stopped and turned you ninety degrees before strategically lifting your chin a little.

“Okay, stay just like that. Don’t even move your head,” he spoke in a hushed tone.

“This is ridiculous, but okay.” You felt him untying the knot behind your head, careful not to pull any of your hair. When the dark material was lifted from your eyes, you opened them only to have your breath taken away in exchange for your sight. Your hands flew to your mouth as if to try and keep what little air remained in your lungs from escaping as ancient light reflected in your watery eyes.

“What is that?” you whispered as one might when standing on hallowed ground.

“It’s the spiral arm of our galaxy. Well, one of them anyway.”

It was a hazy band of white light some thirty degrees wide, splitting the night sky like a sheet, spinning at an imperceptible rate of 130 miles per second.

“No fucking way.” You were still speaking in hushed tones as though it was a rare sighting of a small animal that could dash away at any moment. “It’s not even possible to see that from Earth, is it? Not with the naked eye.”

“Sure, it is. At a dark sky site such as this,” Daichi clarified, looking around at the other celestial bodies. “Far away from all the light pollution of the city, you can see all kinds of deep space objects.” Your wide, wandering eyes never left the sky when he squeezed your shoulder. “I’ll be right back. Gonna grab a few things from the car.”

He returned moments later, a soft chortle leaving his lips as he watched you turn this way and that with your chin tilted up towards the stars. You’d never seen so many at once. Daichi spread one of the blankets out over the short grass and sat down, crossing one ankle over the other. Following the sound of his voice, you finally looked away from the sky, so dark you could barely see him. You went to sit down next to him, but he opened his legs and pulled you to sit between them instead.

After draping a blanket over you, he reached over and handed you a pair of binoculars so you could get an even more intimate view of the universe from your Earthly position.

“You see that constellation that looks like a W?”

You squinted through the binocular lenses, trying to follow the trajectory of his pointed finger. “Oh! Yeah, I see it.”

“Alright, following the line from the right tip of it, look up a bit. Can you see an orange, fuzzy-looking blur? It’s really faint.”

It took you a few seconds, but you finally zeroed in on it. “Yeah? But barely.” It was too blurry to be a star. “What is that?”

“That’s Andromeda.”

“Andromeda? You mean the galaxy?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you said, smiling. “There are trillions of stars in that tiny orange blur…”

What kind of man brings you out to a super-secret location and shows you not one, but two fucking galaxies? It was the single most romantic thing a guy had ever done for you.

You handed the binoculars back to Daichi in favor of taking in the majesty of the heavens through your naked eyes. Planting his palms on the ground, he leaned back so you could comfortably recline with the back of your head resting on his chest.

Sniffling, you looked out at things that were real, but that you never thought you’d see with your own eyes.

“Are you cold?” he asked, hand rubbing up and down your arm.

With your back still turned to him, you shook your head no.

Why was he doing this? You’d already had sex with him several times. You’d given him more pussy in the last few weeks than you’d given at all in the prior few years. You both knew he didn’t have to do all this to get his dick wet. So why would he do this for you?

He planned this. He prepared for this. He noticed something special about you…and remembered. He thought of you and called you in advance. He made you laugh, and as hard as you tried to fight it, he made you cry. Trying not to sniffle again forced you to breathe through your mouth, your attempt to mask your feelings only backfiring when you drew a turbulent breath. You squeezed your eyes shut as the first tears rolled down your cheeks.

“You okay?”

Searing tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and before you could stop yourself, you sniffled again, and his hand stopped caressing your arm.

“Y/n, are you crying?”

“S-shut up,” you gasped, interlacing your fingers with his and bringing his arm to rest across your waist.

His arm flexed around you, pulling you closer. “Is something wrong?”

Maintaining your silence, you shook your head truthfully. There was nothing wrong. Everything was right.

As he was prone to do, rather than force the issue or pry it out of you, he let it go, trusting that you would tell him if you wanted him to know.

As you sat in comfortable silence with Daichi, you realized it was becoming increasingly possible that you could lose this battle with him. This battle that either he didn’t know existed, or one for which he was using his strategy of fearless honesty to beat you at your own game - not by force, but by disarmament. Perhaps the joke was on you and Daichi was the one who was in control.

“You know what my favorite thing is about stargazing?” he asked thoughtfully, brushing his thumb along yours. Something you’d noticed about him is that he almost never speaks more loudly than is necessary to be heard.

“Hm?”

“Not only are we looking out into space, but we’re also looking back in time. Andromeda is roughly two and a half million light years away. The light reaching our eyes took that long to get here. So, we’re seeing that galaxy as it existed two and a half million years ago. Betelgeuse could explode tonight and we wouldn’t be able to see it from Earth for over 500 years.”

“Wow,” you whispered.

“Pretty crazy that we’re looking at the stars as they used to be, not as they are right now.” You turned slightly and looked up at Daichi, who looked back down at you with a small smile. “It reminds me that I’m alive; to have the rare opportunity to see something so profound. Somehow this relatively insignificant human existence feels rather exclusive, doesn’t it?”

You reached up behind his neck to bring him closer for a kiss. His tender lips lingered on yours, in no hurry at all as though the two of you had millions of light years for this one kiss.

You pulled away and turned around to straddle his lap. His bulky arms pulled you in for a hug, your arms holding fast around his neck as you buried your face in it.

“Are you happy?” Daichi asked, rubbing your back.

Shivering, you nodded. “I am now.”

You hadn’t spoken ten words in as many minutes, and both of you were perfectly okay with that. Words weren’t necessary for the conversation the two of you were having. You were sharing more than words could ever say and you wanted to be closer. You kissed Daichi’s neck, making him hum as you trailed your way to his waiting lips to kiss him again, this time more deeply.

He rolled you onto your back, your tongues exploring each other’s mouths, hands roaming one another’s bodies, removing articles of clothing in the process. You shivered in the cool night air, your nipples tightly pebbled against Daichi’s bare chest. He pulled the blankets over the tangled mess of your bodies as best he could until your hand guided his face to look at you as the other reached between his legs.

“Please…Daichi. Need you inside,” you sighed, the warmth of your breath tickling his ear.

Exhaling, he quickly nodded as two pairs of socked feet peeked out from the bottom, blankets be damned. He hissed a little at the feeling of his cold fingertips as he guided his hard length to your warm, waiting entrance. He pushed his wet tip inside, his fluttering brown eyes melting as your liquid heat embraced him, welcoming him deeper and deeper within.

“Mm y/n…you feel amazing,” Daichi praised.

He propped himself on his forearms, his large hands framing the sides of your face, watching your lips part with a sigh as he slowly sheathed his full length deep inside you. He held himself there for a moment, admiring your beauty in the faint glow of ancient starlight while basking in the soft warmth that enveloped him.

You squirmed beneath him, eagerly anticipating the first powerful snap of his hips. “Fuck me, Daichi,” you breathed, a hint of urgency in your quiet voice.

Brushing his thumb across your cheek, he shook his head. “No. I don’t wanna fuck you tonight, y/n. I wanna go slow and make you feel everything.”

Making love was dangerous at best. It made you feel too much; too many things that felt unsafe and uncomfortable - intimacy, vulnerability, tenderness.

“Y/n, look at me,” he whispered.

You opened your eyes to find yourself falling into his. There it was again, something so overwhelming that it took courage to hold his gaze. As he began to roll his hips, you became intensely aware that he was seeing all the way inside you, a wordless exchange between you as he communicated directly with your soul. It was familiar, comfortable, and all so terrifying.

You knew you should’ve pulled away or put a hand up to stop him. But your body bid him passage, opening up to him again and again.

He wasn’t supposed to be here - in your life, your mind, your body, and certainly not in your heart. So why couldn’t you just let him go already? You kept pushing him away, but when it came time to let your hands fall away from him and part ways, rather than let him go, you’d do the exact opposite and pull him closer again.

With his hips snug between your thighs, you wrapped your legs around his waist, moving with him as his manhood dragged deliciously along your slick walls. He looped his strong arms behind your back, putting a little more of his weight on you, but you didn’t mind. You felt safer this way, chest heaving against his as his girthy tip bumped your sweet spot.

Your breathless whimpers of his name traveled at light speed from his ears to the base of his spine, compelling his body to move a little faster. Faint wet noises emanated from where your earthly bodies collided sweetly, Daichi’s thighs flexing as he made love to you with the stars as your witness.

You were grateful for the ambient darkness so he couldn’t see the fresh tears welling in your eyes. However, the stars shone in them like moonlight flickering across the surface of a lake, belying the depth of its ripples in its superficial stillness. Daichi knew but kept it to himself lest you close your eyes or look away from him again.

You felt every inch of him as he rolled his languid hips against you, strong and naked. The coarse black hairs that covered his pubic bone teased and tickled your clit as he rutted into you.

“Nnhm…Dai-“ Your voice was little more than a whine against his open lips when your orgasm hit, your pulsing heat sending him as well. His hips stilled as a low groan accompanied the spilling of his warm seed inside you.

“Am I crushing you? I can move-“ he offered hoarsely as he shifted. But you shook your head and tightened your hold on him. You could feel him smile against your skin as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You still weren’t ready to let go. Not yet. You wanted to keep him close just a little while longer.

You stayed just like that, your bodies melded together, gasping, twitching, not wanting to part. Tender kisses, brushes of lips and noses, lazy fingers tracing affection on one another’s skin. Both of you had learned a new definition of ‘warm’, one which promised that neither of you would ever have to know the meaning of cold ever again if you would but accept it.

When the time came Daichi rolled off of you and the two of you cuddled for a few minutes when you yawned. He insisted on getting dressed and taking you home before you fell asleep. But you didn’t want him to take you home. You wanted him to take you to his bed, back where this all began. If this was to be your last night together, you wanted to be immersed in Daichi’s space, his scent, him.

You’d just snuggled up to the police officer in his bed, yawning as he held you close.

You could hear his amused smirk when he said, “The sex tonight was … stellar.”

“Oh my god, has anyone ever told you that you tell dad jokes?” you laughed with a playful push of his shoulder.

He recoiled in genuine surprise. “R-really? Are they that bad?””

But before he could finish, his face was in your hands. “I’m laughing, aren’t I?”

“Maybe you have a really bad sense of humor…”

Both of you were drunk on exhaustion, but the delirium soon gave way to sleep. That night, you dreamt that Daichi plucked stars from the sky and put them in your heart.

ch. 7 ☆ ch. 9

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