#and be on the little mountain summit and the way down will feel like a breeze compared to what you’re facing now.

[guacamoleroll]

— 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖆𝖞 𝖍𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖎'𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖊 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖒! ⋆⁺₊

featured: osamu dazai, chuuya nakahara, fyodor dostoevsky, nikolai gogol, sigma

content warning(s): fem!reader, domestic moments, mentions of marriage, kisses and cuddling, these men are whipped, fluff, references to christmas traditions

author's note: i hope you're all enjoying (or at least relaxing) during the holidays! sit back, grab a cup of steaming coffee or hot chocolate, and enjoy some sweet moments with our bungou boys ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

summary: what gifts do our bungou husbands gift you during the holidays?

would you like to see more? join the taglist or comment under this post!

𝗢𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗨 𝗗𝗔𝗭𝗔𝗜 ⋆⁺₊ ⸺⸺⸺

Your eyes flutter open as sprinkles of sunlight peeking through the blinds serve as your only alarm, traces of chocolatey hair prickling your skin as he nuzzles into your neck. Your fingers twirl the coils of his knotted tresses, smoothing them into shining waves before pressing kisses against his ear. And that's when you see it.

A basket perched on your nightstand, tied neatly with a bow, and piled high with various cosmetics and accessories. As you sort through each item, feeling nostalgia pinging with every gift, you realize there's a reason you recognize them. 

Each is a small element from a moment in your relationship—the nail polish you wore on your first date, the lipstick you chose for your first kiss. He notes the quirks of others subconsciously, though he chooses to ignore them unless it benefits him. But not with you.

He cherishes every ephemeral habit—the crease of your forehead as candles burn on, the haze of your eyes as raindrops pour down, the indention of your lips as movies summit closed. You're always too preoccupied to notice, but he gawks at you without shame, admiring the purity of your features. He is known for being abstract, but you are his complete opposite. So completely unabashed in sharing your opinions and sentiments, even through your own expressions. And in a way, you're far braver than he believes himself to be, so he knows he must remind you of that.

𝗖𝗛𝗨𝗨𝗬𝗔 𝗡𝗔𝗞𝗔𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔 ⋆⁺₊ ⸺⸺⸺

Your sleep is interrupted by a yelp. For a moment, you wanted to keep your eyes closed, still sluggish with sleep, but a sequence of other noises pulled you out of bed. Unaware of the eyes peeking out from under the covers, a smirk on their proprietor's face as you shuffled out of the room, you journeyed into the living room. And he knew that you had found precisely what you were looking for when he heard a barrage of coos and badly muffled shrieks escape your lips, rushing back into the room with a puppy snuggled in your arms, a cute bow fastened to its collar. He knew your heart had been stolen at a glance, much like he had been long ago.

That puppy is now your child, a part of your family. Even if you don't realize it, this dog expresses his eternal fondness and dedication to you and any family you plan to have. He would prefer to pick a larger dog breed, the loyal type of canines that remain devoted to their families (Akitas, Belgian Malinois, German Shepherds, etc.). He knows you'd love any dog, but he wants to guarantee that you'll be protected if he isn't there.

And don't be surprised if an engagement ring follows a few months later. You're raising an animal together—your fur baby—and while it's a bit out of order, he wants to tie the knot officially. And you'll have the cutest little ring bearer in the world ⋆˙⟡♡

𝗙𝗬𝗢𝗗𝗢𝗥 𝗗𝗢𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗘𝗩𝗦𝗞𝗬 ⋆⁺₊ ⸺⸺⸺

(I briefly discussed this in a post a while ago, but I wanted to expand on it a bit further.)

A stack of uniform presents pile in symmetrical mountains around the base of your shared tree; each fold intricately pristine. However, he insists on having a large breakfast, reveling in your anticipation with each course as you eye the gifts—it's too cute. Once you've finally reached the tree, he observes with unstated delight as you rip open the wrapping paper, only to discover hardcover copies of classic novels in your favorite genres.

He knows you peruse through his personal collection while he is away on missions, missing him and seeking comfort in his familiar words. Without your knowledge, he has caught you with a beaming grin on your face, skimming the story, enamored by his annotations. So once you've finished the book, with your thoughts written neatly inside the pages, he'd offer to swap with you, finding a sudden interest in the story.

Because the way your brain operates is absolutely fascinating to him—it is, in his (correct) opinion, one of your most stunning attributes. He finds himself seeking other ways to look into your thoughts, and if you just so happen to get inside his head as a result, he finds that he doesn't mind all the much.

𝗡𝗜𝗞𝗢𝗟𝗔𝗜 𝗚𝗢𝗚𝗢𝗟 ⋆⁺₊ ⸺⸺⸺

He would be bouncing up and down as soon as the sun rose, forcing you onto the sofa as he picked presents up from across the room. However, breaking away from tradition, he insisted that he opened the first few, utilizing many of your gifts as props for a little skit.

He enjoys your laughter more than any other sound in this world. It's such a freeing sight, watching you throw back your head, unable to help yourself. Even in the midst of his antics, he finds himself unable to avert his gaze, wide-eyed as you laugh without a care in the world. To him, you're always beautiful, but especially when you're happy.

And in that, he realizes that he wants to make you laugh all the time. Every second that you're together should be filled with joy. His heart constricts painfully whenever he sees sorrow on your face, and he has made it his prime duty in life to relieve your suffering. Anything that has ever made you laugh is collected in those gift boxes, and he feels lighter than ever as you giggle in your seat.

You have become the rope that tethered him to the ground, but he finds that he no longer wishes to fly free. Perhaps he has become exactly what he used to fear: his own attachments anchoring him, but he doesn't mind. He is a fool, but only for you.

𝗦𝗜𝗚𝗠𝗔 ⋆⁺₊ ⸺⸺⸺

He has never had anyone to celebrate the holiday with before; there hasn't been a reason. So instead, he would bury himself in his paperwork, trying to find a purpose through the letters, though he knew it was all in vain. So when he finds someone to celebrate with, he will ensure that you will stick around until the holiday next year.

You're met with bundles of presents, heavy with luxurious clothes and fragrant accessories, things he knows you like. But one of those gifts stands out amongst the rest: a simple box with a neat but fashionable outfit inside. Your eyes scan the seams, and it dawns on you—these are handmade. 

He knows his stuff about fabrics and colors, constantly choosing different options for the casino, and one of his stress-relieving hobbies (in my headcanon) is sewing. Before you came into his life, he made his own clothes, finding only brief comfort in the repetitive stitches.

But there is something so domestic about creating clothes for someone you care about. Thoughts of them are embuded in every stitch, seams pressed with care as it's molded to flatter your body specifically. It reassures him whenever you walk around the building, showing off your new clothes with a smile on your face—you are his family, his home. His other half. And you are here to stay.

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @imhandicapableofmath @lovedazai @hauntedsol @ruru-kiss @ishqani @zyilas @lovesick-fairy @fedyascoffin @squigglewigglewoo @kelperspelt @miloofc @thesilvernight0wl @s1eepybunny @dazaisms @deepseafragments @justanotherjester @sillyspookycat @kotysluny @aureatchi

© 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋 2023 — do not repost or modify my works for any reason. do not steal graphics w/o explicit permission. reblogs are appreciated.

[mysteryshoptls]

NRC Master Chef Finale

"There is no end to the culinary road"

I don't normally take requests for chapters from events, but I liked the descriptions of the students that I was planning on doing this outtro anyway. Please enjoy.

[Kitchen]

Head Chef: Right. That finishes up the prep work we need for tomorrow.

Crowley: Good evening!

Head Chef: Oh hello, Headmage. What can I do for you so late at night?

Crowley: Well, currently the Master Chef course is ongoing, is it not?

Crowley: I thought I would ask how the students taking the class are faring.

Head Chef: The students? Hmm, well…

[shows Silver, Deuce, Ruggie, Epel, and Jack]

Head Chef: Some do the best they can, even if they had a hard time learning.

[shows Ace, Idia, Leona]

Head Chef: Some are coachable, since they try to find ways to make it easier on themselves.

[shows Trey, Jamil, Floyd]

Head Chef: Some already have highly impressive cooking skills.

[shows Malleus, Cater, Vil, Ortho]

Head Chef: Some are still unaccustomed to cooking, but have a certain spark.

[shows Kalim, Lilia, Jade]

Head Chef: Some go beyond what the recipe says and creates their own spin on the dish.

[shows Riddle, Rook, Sebek, Azul]

Head Chef: Some read into every last detail of the recipe to reproduce it as faithfully as they possibly can.

Head Chef: …There are many different types of students, just off the top of my head.

Crowley: I see…

Crowley: Well, in truth, I have received many complaints from the students and professors that we've had as judges saying things like, "This isn't edible at all!"

Crowley: I was wonder what could possibly be going on… But it seems as though this course brings forward very individualistic personalities.

Crowley: Ah, that being said, of course we've also received compliments as well!

Crowley: I especially find that we don't receive as many complaints in the latter half of the course. Perhaps it shows how much the students have improved.

Crowley: And of course, all of this is thanks to our splendid chefs.

Head Chef: No, not at all.

Head Chef: It's thanks to the hard work of the students who have been taking this Master Chef course that everyone else is happy.

Crowley: Is that right! Fufufu, well, I should have expected such excellence from those attending this academy.

Crowley: I'm sure this means that the students who took this Master Chef course all came to understand just how important food is.

Crowley: One day, when they've become great mages, there can be no doubt that they will look back on this course and be eternally grateful.

Crowley: Please keep up the good work for tomorrow as well.

Head Chef: Of course! We'll make sure that everyone at Night Raven College knows just how fun and worthwhile cooking can be.

Crowley: ...Sooo… By the way, I'm feeling a little peckish, would there be anything that I could have as a midnight snack…?

Head Chef: Is that the real reason you came down to the cafeteria!? Hmph, and here I was astonished that you actually were asking me something so profound at first!

Crowley: NOT AT ALL! BUT EVEN IF IT WERE, IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT YOUR FOOD IS SO DELICIOUS!!

Head Chef: Well, I suppose, then… Heheh. Cooking can be hard work, but…

Head Chef: Whenever I can see people happily eating something I've made, it quickly revitalizes me.

[The Master Chef intro movie plays, except it is Crowley speaking]

Crowley: "Food," the very foundation of life.

Crowley: Clear oceans, majestic mountains, tender earth.

Crowley: Accept everything nature provides, and use it to nourish yourself.

Crowley: If you so will it, knowledge and valor will be bestowed upon you.

Crowley: Move forward! Never look back! The culinary road is foreboding and grueling.

Crowley: However, when you finally reach the summit, it will all be yours to claim.

Crowley: The crowning achievement―

Crowley: THE GLORIOUS TITLE OF MASTER CHEF!

Crowley: There is no end to the culinary road…

Crowley: Continue to do your best next time, as well. I'll be cheering you on!

Requested by Anonymous.

[her-satanic-wiles]

October 13th

Size Kink, Mountain x GN!Reader

Masterlist

Words: 1k

Warnings: Size kink; Mountain basically has a monster cock; established relationship; terrible mountain puns; kinda cracked ngl; piv sex; vaginal sex; GN!Reader (but has a vulva); praise kink; want to set myself on fire after this but alright;

Taglist: @sodoswitchimage @enchantedbunny @bitchywitchygardener @thew0man @sodomiser @the-did-i-ask @copias-sewer-rat @gehrmansbignaturals @dancemacabre666

🔞 MDNI 🔞

Mountain had a thing for fucking you doggystyle, simply because of how deep he could get; how open you were for him with your ass in the air and your hole stretched as far is it could. But he mostly loved it because of the way he stretched you to your limit and just how small you looked speared on him. The recoil of your ass cheeks and the desperate noises you made as he hammered into you.

But he loved something else even more. When he was able to persuade you to climb atop his summit, Mountain was entirely and completely powerless. He could see your face as his peak tore you apart and watch your face as you struggled to swallow him whole. He could never, ever grow bored of that, instead he felt it a constant need.

Dark eyes followed your body as you straddled his hips. Mountain, himself, reclined back against the headrest of the bed, relaxing completely and observing you with awe. When you sank upon Mountain’s cock, you released the loudest scream of both pleasure and pain, his girth stretching you to your utmost limit. Height doesn’t always dictate the size of a penis, but you certainly were unprepared for Mountain’s the first time you slept with him. Mountain was kind and always avoided rushing you because you were moving slowly, for the sake of you both. He had even more time to enjoy the occasion and watch you, and commit the sight of your screwed up face and mouth hanging open as you sank further and further onto his monstrous length.

You sunk down a little further, wincing slightly at the burn. Mountain’s hands settled on your hips, fingers digging in slightly.

“Mountain-”

“You’re doing good, baby.” Mountain rubbed your skin soothingly with his thumb. “Keep going.”

Mountain helped you lower while your eyelids squinted shut. Okay, so perhaps he wasn’t as patient as he would have liked to think. But he made an effort. He genuinely tried, but if there was anything he enjoyed more than anything else, it was watching the expression on your face as he stretched his cock. He was almost completely feral. When his heavy cock dragged against your walls, tears formed and fell from your lower lashes. Slowly, Mountain, slowly. The constant fight between your comfortability and his need to be buried as far deep as he could go was too much. His fingers on your hips tightened, and involuntarily, his hips bucked.

Mountain’s cock ripped a moan from your throat, now entirely deep inside of you and hitting against your cervix. You tossed your head back in and shuddered. He repeated it. It hurt and felt amazing at the same time. Unfathomably incredible, actually. Even more so when he moved your head back to face him while tenderly cupping your cheek with one hand. He always preferred it when you looked into his eyes - it grounded him, and seemed to keep you concentrating on something other than the feel of him.

The quickness of his breath meant he struggled to say, “So fucking good for me,” as he cupped your cheek in his palm. You gritted your teeth, unable to hold back more of the tears that were spilling over the waterline. “Taking me so well.”As he pounded into you from below, the obscene cries that came out of your mouth bore testament to the ecstasy that overpowered the sting.

“M-Mountain!” When you were entirely exposed to him, feeling vulnerable under his watchful eye as he took in your soft body jiggling in response to his thrusts, you could have questioned why he was still wearing a shirt. However, you didn’t. You mumbled, “You fill m-me so fucking g-good!”

The shit-eating grin on his face, widened. “Yeah?” he questioned.

“Yes!” Mountain directed a very hard thrust right up against the deepest part of you, and all you could manage was a moan.

“So tight,” He centres his gaze on the point where the two of you were joined: where your messy hole creamed up his cock. He stared as his shaft repeatedly returned into you.

Your expletive “Fuck!” caused Mountain to look back at your face, where your brows were deeply furrowed. As he slowed down, his hips stuttered to a halt. His thumb moved to your clit and began to work you in circles, relieving some of the pressure there for you.

“That’s it, baby.” He cooed as your hips bucked, grinding down on the feeling of his thumb. “Take it all. Feel so fucking good.”

You began bouncing again, your body feeling like it was on fire. Every one of your nerve-endings standing to attention, the knot in your stomach threatening to snap at any moment. A particular thrust from Mountain meant your ending was imminent.

“Are you close?” He asked.

“Keep going! Don’t stop, please!”

He obliged, continuing to play with your body like a toy until one final thrust to your cervix has you folding over and biting his shoulder as you came around him. When he was sure you had finished, he whispered, “I’m sorry.” Into your ear. Before you could ask him why, you felt his hands grip onto your hips and his cock ram into you over and over again. He was quick with his thrusts, quick and deep so he could finish quickly. Your screams of overstimulation made him feel guilty, but at the same time, it was such a turn on. He couldn’t quite explain why, though. Eventually you felt him cum, exploding like a volcano with his hips stilling inside you once more as he filled you up with his seed. You were so tight for him, so warm, he felt like you were suffocating him. If this was how he was gonna die, he’d die a happy man.

“Are you okay?” He asked you, gently pulling you off of him. He held you for a long time, waiting until you were recovered enough to pop you in the bath. In the meantime, he peppered your skin with kisses and told you how much you meant to him.

Previous Day ⛧ Next Day

[fairyhaos]

❍ the 2k event: seungkwan + blossoms

alternative title: this is what healing is

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader

genre: canon universe, established relationship, comfort-ish

word count: 1285

warnings: none

event taglist (send ask to be added): @slytherinshua @rubywonu @weird-bookworm @pepperonijem @amxlia-stars @hannyoontify @my-moarmy-heart @suminsfav @minhui896 @haocovr @lockburn-castle @sweet-like-caramel @horanghae8 @graybaeismytae @karionice @hopetiger10 @shuabby1994 (and @wheeboo cz. it's seungkwan)

"Y/N! Come on, we can't slow down now, we're almost there!"

"And where," you pant, "is 'almost there', Seungkwan? Almost there to my death?"

Seungkwan smiles, and it's not his brilliant, heart-bursting smile but it's close enough. "You shouldn't have offered to take me out hiking, love," he says teasingly, from where he's standing on the path further up. "You gotta deal with the consequences."

You groan, pulling yourself up with your hiking poles along the dirt path. "Yeah, next time I'll just offer to pay for a full spa day for you. That'll be way easier than this torture I accidentally signed up for."

Seungkwan chuckles, continuing to hike up the mountainside while you groan and complain and sweat to death behind him. 

Your boyfriend loves nature. He loves being surrounded by it, feeling humbled by the vast everlastingness of the earth, feeling part of the unending beauty of the world and the countless lives of animals and plants that he has the privilege of living alongside. It relaxes him, brings him peace, allows his soul to settle more comfortably in his body once he's able to see that he's important, that he matters, that nature is there for him and surrounds him and he is at once a part of it and forever under its power the entire time. 

It's a complex combination of feeling humility at nature's capability and feeling comfort at being in her care, but you get it. You understand Seungkwan. 

That's why you offered him a healing day out trekking up some of South Korea's most idyllic mountains, after all. 

You're kind of regretting agreeing to come along, though. 

Well, almost. 

"Y/N, I swear, we're almost there this time," Seungkwan insists when you wail about your legs again. He's standing at a curve in the path you're following, which isn't really much of a path but more of a wobbly line of soil where the ground has been worn down just a little more than the rest of the undergrowth surrounding you. 

"What, almost to the top?" you manage to say. Wow, you need to exercise more. 

Seungkwan shakes his head. "No, we're almost at a rest point though! There's a fallen tree we can sit on."

"A fallen tree," you deadpan, crunching through leaves. "We're almost at a fallen tree."

Seungkwan wrinkles his nose playfully at your tone. "Yes. A fallen tree. But I'm really, really certain that we've almost reached the summit, if you wanna forgo a break and carry on…?"

"No, no, let's take a break," you say hurriedly, hobbling up the remaining stretch to find the fallen tree he was talking about and flopping down. "Ah, that's better."

There's a peaceful silence then, as you drink your water and Seungkwan tilts his head back, revelling in the quiet that comes with being so, so far away from other people. You watch him out of the corner of your eye and fight the urge to grin widely. 

This is the one, sole reason that you don't regret coming on this trip. 

He has his eyes closed, the sunlight peeking through the green leaves of the trees and casting an uneven glow across his face, one cheek, half of his forehead, the tip of his nose and small spatterings of his eyelids lit up in gold. He looks like he's been blessed all over by some sun deity, but nothing can top the utterly content look on his face. 

Seungkwan hasn't been feeling himself lately, and you get it, with all that's been going on for him. He's been doing so well, and you tell him so, but sometimes those words aren't enough. Sometimes he just needs time to distance himself, to heal without having the reminders of his pain and struggles hitting him in the face. 

Somewhere in the distance, a bird chirps, and Seungkwan opens his eyes. 

"Don't you think that the day sky is so beautiful?" he says, contemplatively, squinting through the forest canopy. 

You look up with him, squinting your eyes. "The day sky?" you echo. 

He shrugs. "Yeah. Everyone always talks about the night sky, and yet no one seems to mention how pretty the sky is during the day."

You tilt your head, watching as faint wisps of white clouds drift by, in between the green leaves and up there in the brilliant blueness of the sky. 

"The moon is really, really beautiful," you say, "but I guess we never do think about how pretty the sun is too."

"The moon will forever be beautiful," Seungkwan agrees, voice softening, "but there's beauty in the day as well. There's so much light. So much vibrancy. So much potential for living."

You smile, lowering your head to look over at Seungkwan. He still has his head tilted upwards, so far up that you can't see his eyes. But after a moment, he squeezes his eyes shut and looks at you with a smile. It's a sad smile, but there's relief there, a happiness that comes from having the time to be with such refreshing scenery and his thoughts and with you. 

His eyes crinkle as he leans forward to press a kiss to your nose. "You know I love you, right?"

You hum, placing your hand on his cheek to keep him in place and quickly kiss his forehead. His skin is clammy with sweat, your hand warm on his equally warm cheek, but the softness in his eyes makes everything else rendered irrelevant. 

"I should hope so," you say drily after pulling away. "I'm here, suffering with you right now. I'm currently loving you too damn much for you not to love me back."

Seungkwan laughs at that, a ringing bell sound that sounds so much like his usual self that it makes you laugh too. 

"Well, thank you for loving me that much," he says, and it's teasing, but there are rosy warm threads of sincerity to his words. "Thank you, oh noble Y/N, for putting up with me."

"Any time," you say, and you can recognise that warm sincerity in your own voice too. "I'll do anything for you."

Seungkwan smiles. 

A wind blows around you, blessedly cool, and you sigh in happiness. Sometimes small and cold sticks to your forehead, and you dislodge it to gawk at the small blossom petal that managed to stick to your sweaty skin. 

"Kwan, look at this petal that stuck to me," you say, turning to your boyfriend, only to laugh at the way he has two on his cheek, seemingly going unnoticed by him.

"What? Why are you laughing?"

"You had a little something on your face, babe," you say, taking off the petals and showing them to him. Seungkwan blinks down at them before chuckling and shaking his head. 

"There must be cherry blossom trees further up ahead," he said, watching as more pale pink petals float around you.

You hum thoughtfully, staring at the little blossom petals. "Blossoms represent growth, you know," you say. "And new beginnings. They symbolise a better tomorrow."

Seungkwan tilts his head. "Really?" He's silent for a moment, before standing up. "Well, we better get going, I think. I want to see this blossom tree at the summit, now that we know it's there."

Instantly, you're groaning, and Seungkwan laughs as he takes your hand and pulls you to your feet, teasing you the entire way. But he doesn't let go of your hand, and the two of you walk leisurely up the mountain, skin all sun-dappled and with blossoms in your hair as you make your way to the top and to that blossom tree. 

All the way to a better tomorrow. 

[cieloclercs]

Okay so abt that Carlitos request maybe she’s in the crowd next to his mum and after a win at Wimbledon (maybe he’s the final winner 🤭) her and his family go down on the pitch to celebrate (kind of in the way footballers do it) and he just kisses her instantly and that’s the moment everyone finds out abt their relationship but the fans love it and maybe then they go on a vacation in Spain or smth like that 🫶🏻 thanks again for being open to write for him and have a good day!!

PS: if you find good fics with him please do tell where 😅

-🪷

hello! hope you enjoy this <3

p.s i found two really awesome carlitos fics you should check out! wimbledon shenanigans by @yungbludz and this blurb by @2manytabsopen

word count. 2.3k

read under the cut!

𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐨́𝐧 | carlos alcaraz

THE DAY HAS finally arrived: one you’ve had circled in your calendar for weeks, almost as a manifestation that you’ll get to watch it not just as a neutral spectator, but as someone with a true stake in the outcome. The Wimbledon Final. A certain classic, the commentators all say. They’re sure, that no matter who wins, it’s going to be a match for the history books. The current world number one versus arguably the greatest tennis player of all time. Carlos Alcaraz versus Novak Djokovic.

You’re on the edge of your seat from the moment the first serve is taken. It almost feels as if you’re down there on the court, playing the match yourself. The nerves thrumming inside your very veins are enough for it to seem that way. Carlos’ mother is seated to your right, just as tense as you are, gripping the edge of her chair with white knuckles. You reach down to pat her hand reassuringly, partly for her, but mostly for you. Appearing so calm, so certain Carlos is going to do what he does best and win this match helps to quell your own nerves. Even if it’s a façade.

He's worked so hard to get here, you can’t even imagine the agony if he falls short now. So many have put their expectations on him, as this new, rising talent, pegging him to become the next Nadal; it’s a lot for anyone to deal with, but it amazes you how Carlos simply takes it into his stride. He’s inexperienced on grass compared to his competitor (or rather, inexperienced on every surface – this is Novak Djokovic we’re talking about, after all), yet even against those with years and years of tournament experience haven’t been able to beat him. No matter whether it seems the odds are stacked against him or not, Carlos always believes in himself. So you believe in him too. You know in your heart, this may seem like a mountain to climb, but if anyone can reach the summit, it’s him.

There’s a second story running alongside this one, however, and it involves you. Though you’ve been able to call the world number one your boyfriend for almost six months now, the world is yet to know about your relationship. As someone who hasn’t exactly been shielded from the public eye yourself, you both decided it would be healthier to keep everything private while you navigated the early stages of your relationship. Now, you’re both happier than you ever have been, and it feels as though you’re drawing nearer to the big announcement.

Attending Carlos’ match with his family is the first big step. From the moment you sat down with them in their box, you could feel the eyes on you; sense the whispers rippling around the court like shockwaves. Everyone knows who you are, of course – Spain’s golden girl, the child acting star turned Oscar winner at only twenty years of age. You’re a household name not only in your country, but across the whole world. To see you here, spending time with the family of your equivalent in the tennis world, is huge news. This isn’t just a case of some celebrity outing for the day, making an appearance in a private box; this is you sitting with Carlos’ family, laughing with his mother and doting on his little brother. You’re clearly more involved than the average celebrity – the big question on everyone’s lips is how involved?

For the moment, you ignore the masses of eyes on you. You’re here to see Carlos play first and foremost, not answer the newly emerged dating rumours which seem to be spreading like wildfire across social media (it’s barely even been half an hour – the fans sure do catch on quick). All you care about is cheering him on until he emerges victorious, lifting that coveted Wimbledon trophy high into the air. And with each point won that puts him just ahead of his opponent, you feel everything drawing closer to the inevitable end: Game, set, match – Carlos Alcaraz. It takes an excruciating four and three quarter hours of back and forth, but eventually, the dream becomes reality. Championship point won. He drops to the floor with a gasp just as you shoot up from your seat, arms flailing in the air, screaming until your throat is raw. Carlos Alcaraz is the winner of the 2023 Wimbledon Championship.

You’re not even sure it’s allowed when you and his family rush down onto the court, but in that moment, you honestly couldn’t care less. He’s shaken hands with Djokovic, who for once, doesn’t look ashamed to have been beaten – he recognises a worthy champion when he sees one. Then, after doing the same with the umpire, he turns to face his approaching family. The grin you love so much breaks out across his face. You know how important they all are to him. Having them here to witness this no doubt makes it even sweeter.

For a moment you hang back, watching as his father pats him proudly on the back, and his mother holds nothing in reserve by pulling him down to press a loving kiss to his cheek. He spins his little brother around in the air excitedly, and you hear Jaime’s giggles from where you’re standing a few feet away. You’re happy to just watch them for a while, a fond smile playing on your lips. They truly are the most idyllic family. You count yourself lucky to know them as well as you do, and perhaps even one day to be accepted as one of them by Carlos’ side. But you push those thought away, wanting to remain in the present. Right now, you couldn’t be more proud of your boyfriend. Your heart sings with joy for him and his incredible achievement. You’ve always known he is special, but now the rest of the world knows it just as certainly as you do.

It isn’t long before Carlos turns his attention away from his family, searching for you amongst the crowd. You aren’t far away, grinning back at him shyly. You’re aware of the crowd around you, conscious that they are no doubt watching his every move, but when you lock eyes, that doesn’t seem to matter anymore. He closes the distance between you in four short strides, and before you know it, his arms are wrapped around you, lifting you high up into the air as he spins around. You’re laughing gleefully, arms looped securely around his neck as if they belong there. When he sets you down again everything is quiet, despite the crowd still cheering his name.

"Estoy muy orgullosa de ti.” I’m so proud of you. You murmur, hands placed on either side of his face. You eyes are filled with nothing but love and admiration as you gaze up at him. You can see it mirrored back at you in his own.

"No podría haberlo hecho sin ti, mi amor.” I couldn’t have done it without you, mi amor. He replies tenderly. Though you know it’s not strictly the truth. Everyone needs love and support from those they care for the most to get them through the difficult times, but Carlos Alcaraz was born to be a star. He was always going to make it this far – it’s just something you can’t argue with, a little like fate. Still, it’s nice to feel like you had a part to play in that. You are important enough to him to matter in a time like this. That’s the special thing.

"Te quiero, campeón.” I love you, champion. You tell him with a teasing giggle. He seems to light up at the nickname, chest puffing out with pride.

"Yo también te quiero.” I love you too. He murmurs. His hands cradle either side of your face, and when he glances down at your lips, you know exactly what he’s asking. The crowd’s focus is still very much on the two of you, but despite all the efforts you’ve gone to hide your relationship, right now, you don’t care. The subtlest of nods tells him all he needs to know. Carlos dips his head down, capturing your lips in the sweetest kiss you’ve ever known. You think the crowd are cheering; you can hear some whistles, muffled into the background. None of it matters. All you care about is when he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you impossible close – so close you can feel his heartbeat against your own chest.

Even when he pulls away, the spell isn’t broken. There’s something about sharing in the joy of the man you love that simply makes everything else fade away. Carlos looks down at you, his eyes so soft, shining so brightly they could have held the entire universe for all you knew. In a way, he’s thanking you. You’re not sure what for at first, because he’s made it here of his own merit. But then it hits you. Carlos is a simple man. He’s simply thanking you for being here, to celebrate the greatest moment of his life alongside him and his family. At the end of the day, it’s what he cares about most – his family. The look he gives you now is as much confirmation as you’ll ever need. He considers you to be a part of it. Maybe not in name (not yet, anyway), but in heart, in spirit, you mean just as much to him.

Finally, when you’re both returned to reality, he relaxes his grip around your waist, turning to wave at the crowd, shooting them a cheeky wink (which you just know will be all over social media within the next few hours). You can’t help but laugh. Someone calls his name: it’s time to prepare for the presentation, they tell him. He turns back to look at you with a dazed grin. You can’t resist pressing one final kiss to his lips before he’s dragged away – your champion, ready to lift that legendary trophy high in the air. No one deserves it more than him, you think. This is what he was born to do.

liked by tennis_wags and 2,637 others

tennisupdates Carlos Alcaraz and newly confirmed girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N, who attended the match with his family, celebrating his Wimbledon victory on centre court ❤️

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username so cute 😍

username THE it couple

Two weeks later Majorca, Spain

After the chaos and exposure of Wimbledon, a private beach getaway is exactly what both you and Carlos needed. Days stretch away on the sand, swallowed up by the rolling blue tides, and you think this place must be paradise on earth – or maybe it’s the company that makes everything so perfect. You’ve barely moved from your residence along the private stretch of beach Carlos had splashed out on to make your time together as romantic (and paparazzi-free) as possible. You don’t need to. This is your time to relax, to unwind after Wimbledon; and if you don’t deserve that, Carlos certainly does. You’re simply reaping the rewards.

Both your phones lay face down on the kitchen table inside. You haven’t looked at social media once since the final, and you don’t plan to as long as you’re here. No doubt, all your accounts will be blown up with messages about yours and Carlos’ surprise hard launch, both good and bad. You don’t want to ruin this little paradise you’ve created by getting sucked into the media. So, aside from texting or calling your families in the evenings, both yours and Carlos’ phones remain unused throughout your days together. It’s beyond peaceful. He pledges to do this more often – just be together, without the pressure of social media or the press breathing down your necks.

Sprawled out across the sand, you lay on his tanned chest, running your fingers softly up and down the side of his ribs. He hums contentedly at the sensation. You’re both sleepy, the sun lulling you into a daze. Carlos’ lips find your hair occasionally, kissing away your tiredness. His arms pull you in close, so you can feel the warmth radiating from his skin as much as you can feel it from the sun, or the sand beneath you. This feeling, that blooms in your chest and lights up every part of you, is nothing short of belonging. Even if you both had nothing, if you were talentless, penniless, with no place to call your own, you could claim it with each other. Carlos is the man whose arms you want to lie in every day for the rest of your life. You’re only young, but you know it to be true. He’s the one for you.

"El sol se está poniendo.” The sun’s going down. He soon whispers into the dusk, which has crept up on you in the last few hours. You hum some kind of acknowledgement, but keep your face buried deep into the crook of his neck. He chuckles.

"Vamos, cariño." Come on, baby. Carlos murmurs, pressing a tender kiss to the side of your face, "Vamos a la cama." Let’s go to bed.

You don’t argue with him when he scoops you up into his arms, lifting you up off the still warm sand as you giggle at the way he spins you around. When your feet touch the ground again, you can’t resist kissing him. It’s short and sweet, but he chases you with his lips when you pull away. You feel your heart soar.

Hand in hand, you make your way inside, to the place which has become your own perfect, little solitude. No one can touch you here, so far away from the rest of the world. You both know you’ll have to go back to reality fairly soon, but for that night, it’s the farthest thing from your minds. For now you’re just young and in love, wrapped up in each other, never wanting to leave. It’s the best place you can be, you think. The only place you ever want to be.

liked by wimbledon and 2,647,936 others

tagged: carlitosalcarazz

yourusername sí, sigo vivo! han sido un par de semanas caóticas en wimbledon, así que hemos decidido tomarnos un tiempo para nosotros mismos antes de que las cosas empiecen a volverse locas otra vez 🫣

a mi campeón - estoy muy orgullosa de ti y de todo lo que has conseguido. nadie se merece esto mas que tu. he visto el trabajo que haces dia y noche para ser la mejor. no ha sido facil, pero que sepas que he creido en ti en cada paso del camino, y seguire creyendo en ti mientras viva. te quiero, carlitos ❤️

yes, i'm still alive! it's been a chaotic couple of weeks at wimbledon, so we've decided to take some time to ourselves before things start to get crazy again 🫣

to my champion - i am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished. no one deserves this more than you. i have seen the work you do day and night to be the best. it has not been easy, but know that i have believed in you every step of the way, and i will continue to believe in you as long as i live. i love you, carlitos ❤️

carlitosalcarazz te quiero siempre / i love you always

yourusername 💕

comments on this post have been limited.

tags: @christianpulisic10

requests are open! send something in if you’d like!

[possibilistfanfiction]

Hi can we have some hallmark AU from Beas POV? Maybe their first Meeting?

despite what you know everyone believes — and what most of them aren’t afraid to say — you’re not lonely.

it’s a good life, the one you have, the one you have earned for yourself and made with your bare hands. it’s quiet, sure, and there’s solitude, and perhaps your therapist didn’t mean, a few years ago, that you should move far out of the city when they suggested you get away for a little while to be further from your parents and the feeling of this specter of trauma that floated all around that city, afraid you might see them at every turn. 

even if it was an accident — or maybe because it was an accident — it had been easy to fall in love with this place, with the mountains and the cabin with floors you refurbished and bathroom tiles laid by your own hands, the practical clothes that fill your closet, the boots lined up neatly by the front door. 

you had fallen in love with a family more complete and full of grace than you had thought possible — mary and her warm, safe bar; camila who always shares her books; lilith who helped you, despite a near panic, cut your hair for the first time; shannon and the ranch full of animals she always treats with such care; everyone who took care of you — with joy, without judgement or resentment — after top surgery, suzanne driving you to and from the hospital, four hours each way, and then a rotating cast of company and food, tidying around your home that has become theirs too, while you healed, and had, months later, mortifyingly whistled relentlessly the first time you went swimming in the lake the next summer. suzanne comes over sometimes with a bag from the farmer’s market to make you dinner and split a bottle of wine; camila has never forgotten your coffee order since the first time you went; lilith never complains on hikes that make you both bend over, exhausted by the time you summit, with matching grins; mary and shannon have you over every year for your birthday, throwing you a big party even though you insist you’re fine without. you are celebrated and seen without reproach, a miracle in itself.

you have theo, a great love of your life, no matter what anyone says, who had wandered up to you quite bravely the first time you went out to the ranch when she was still tiny, not quite coordinated, still downy and velvety soft in the way only her ears are now, with black freckles on her white chest and sharp puppy teeth when she chewed on your finger. you fell in love with the way she made shannon and suzanne laugh when she squared up with the sheep, much bigger than her, her fearless and ineffective attempts at herding both promising and adorable. she was never meant to be a working dog on the ranch full time, so when suzanne offered her to you as a companion who could work some days with the stock, it had felt like things slid into place. you talk to her and she tilts her head to listen; you laugh together and explore and she curls up, spine to spine, during the middle of the night; at sunrise you feed her scraps of bacon from your plate when she rests her head on your thigh. 

you love and are loved so much; you are not lonely.

you know the entire town is meddling and loves to gossip, lilith being the worst even if she swears she’s not invested at all. camila is obvious about it, getting to know every person who ever visits to try to set you up with the ones she deems “eligible,” which, at this point, you think just translates into someone you would find physically attractive — not narrowing it down much — who is “probably” (camila’s words) single. it’s a lost cause, you’re fairly certain, even though everyone insists it’ll happen one day.

you should know to bet against god, or love, or fate, or whatever, because it’s an average day just like the others when you meet ava. 

you had been reading a twitter thread the day before about how metaphors are relational only; they are rarepairs; they never fully tell the truth. it runs through your mind the first time you see her, laughing by shannon’s side, the snow just beginning to fall — you’ll think back on it years later and have no words or associations to really tell the whole truth of what you felt: like a door had opened in front of you that you had thought was a wall, or suddenly the grey light of the waning afternoon sounded a gentle purple, or planets and stars and the entire universe. there’s nothing but the truth of ava: her smile and her dark eyes and her cane getting caught in the fresh snow every time she takes a step, clearly annoying her but going unmentioned. her impractical puffer jacket, her red cheeks. you have never felt a pull like this before in your life, and it unsettles you.

theo barks at you, embarrassingly, after you’ve just been standing still, your world reorienting. she’s tired from working the sheep back from pasture to the barn before the storm, probably wanting water and a nap in your warm truck as you head home. you scratch behind her ears to soothe her and she shakes you off, still annoyed, which makes you laugh and follow as she trots along in front. 

you haven’t felt this young maybe ever, suddenly blanking on literally any words when theo goes up to shannon — and, so, ava — and you don’t even know her yet, have never heard her name yet, but she beams at you.

‘beatrice,’ shannon says, and all you can do is offer up a weird, awkward wave, which shannon lifts a brow at, her smile sharpening when she sees what must be a blush on your cold cheeks, ‘this is ava; ava, this is beatrice.’

you take off your leather work gloves before offering your hand to shake.

‘wow,’ ava says, ‘that was so chivalrous, i loved it.’ before you can even respond, she leans forward excitedly. ‘and who is this?’

‘this is theo.’ theo, for her part, waits patiently by your side as her tongue lolls out in a happy, tired smile, her little coat admittedly very cute. ‘you can say hi, if you want. she loves people.’

ava is delighted by this, and she crouches down and pets theo happily but considerately, not getting too excited or up in her space. ‘i know you said she loves people, but i’m feeling very special right now.’

you laugh. ‘she has that effect.’

ava eventually stands, and you kind of resent shannon for leaving at some point in the last thirty seconds while you were both distracted. ‘do you —‘

‘—where are you—‘

‘apologies,’ you say.

‘sorry,’ ava says.

you reach out and touch her hand gently, briefly, enough to send a shock of electricity — warm and new — through you. it’s starting to snow harder, and you had planned to beat the worst of it and settle in for the night. ‘did you drive here?’ you ask, forgoing your first desire to ask where are you visiting from? or how long will you be staying? or why are you here? 

ava laughs. ‘nah, mary gave me a ride. i was at the bar and she was telling me about this place; i do marketing and social media for an agency in the city and it sounded like the ranch could use some of my incredible expertise, maybe, for fundraising views. plus it sounded cute, so i wanted to see it and she offered. anyway —‘ she rambles and then takes a deep breath. ‘she didn’t say anything about you.’

you feel, mortifyingly, for a moment, like you might pass out, but you gather yourself. ‘oh, i, uh, i just volunteer here. with theo. we work stock. i don’t —‘ you clear your throat and ava looks on, grinning, ‘do you need a ride back to town?’

[yeyinde]

I desperately need to talk to you about how Price would handle falling for someone in his team. I just know you think about this too. In the way that you write, he is always so diligent, careful, trying to suppress it until it spills over. He’s so loyal to his job and his country. I just feel like you nail his character so well. Price walks such a fine line, but I love it when you let him give in.

Ahhh, thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoy it!

I love the journey and angst of pining, and usually set it up like a climb: summit fever, standing on the precipice, and then the choice to either turn back around or jump to base. The eventual acquiescence is so fun to write—even more so than the actual feelings resolution that comes with that decision, or the equinox at the peak.

We never really see that side, though (because it's quite depressing when I try to envision it—to him, it would just be a gnarled man trying to close his hands around the only good thing he can find, snuffing out a glowing flame he thinks he's undeserving of).

I can't see him immediately jumping into anything, either. It's usually after years and years of pining, when the tensions grow so thick, he can barely move or breathe, does he ever really relent, give in. And even that's a battle. Inches only. Glacial slowness. Walls built over top of walls. Fractures cemented back in. He won't make it easy.

I rarely write from Price's POV, but I imagine he'd be super careful—pros (the very few he finds) and cons weighed for months before he even really accepts his own feelings, much less tries to initiate anything with you. Diligent, aware of the consequences, and subtle reluctance to even acknowledge his want, much less give in, all compiled onto the fact that this is his chosen profession, the life he wants to live. And, in many ways, this—you—are somewhat of an obstacle to that. One wrong move and everything he worked hard for crumbles. He wouldn't be careless, then, but anything serious will make him guarded. Wary.

I feel like there's tonnes of reasons not to, and very few to even try, but Price is just a man. The frayed threads of his resolve will wear down after being pulled taut for so long, before they finally snap. He's usually already very close to that point when the MC is hedging around the last ledge of the looming mountain, and so it feels like a quick, hurried thing when they finally meet at the crown.

Idk—I just really adore the idea of shattered resolve, of a hard earned victory that feels almost phyrric when its finally given to you. I like that contrasted with a little moment of was this worth it? only to followed up by something that immediately says: yes, absolutely (especially if that moment of yes is just the most mundane thing ever.)

[atinylittlepain]

I'm Your Venus - A Robin Buckley Story

Robin Buckley x f!reader

Robin really likes candy, and also the new girl in town.

warnings | 18+ nothing specific, just queer angst (sigh)

a/n | this is just a little intrusive thought I had inspired by Bananarama's "Venus" - highly recommend listening to the song as you start reading - also this doesn't follow the timeline of the show's plot, just a lovely indulgent snapshot

update: read how Steve's night went here :)

another update: I'm turning this into a series! find the masterlist here

Robin has always had a weakness for candy. Specifically, the kinds of candy that take you a while to work through. Taffy, caramels, gobstoppers, lemonheads, even those nasty hard candies shaped like root beer barrels. Her most preferred option, however, were lollipops. She liked these tooth-rotting confections because so long as she had something sweet to roll around in her mouth, she could keep herself from going off on some long rambling tangent, preoccupied with the sugary sensation. Tonight, arms hanging over the half-wall of the roller rink, she was working on a cherry tootsie pop, no interest in how many licks it’d take to get to the center, keeping it pocketed in her cheek. 

She wouldn’t normally be spending her time at the new Hawkins’ rink, except Dingus was going as a chaperone to his scraggly, adopted brood, and where Dingus went, so too did Robin follow. Somehow Max had goaded Steve into putting on a pair of skates and was now dragging his very rigid body around the ring. The kids had no such luck getting Robin onto wheels, she sometimes still had trouble walking straight, there was no way skating was in the cards for her. So, she relegated herself to the sidelines, watching everyone rolling to blaring, glossy pop music. It was packed tonight, the middle of summer, and everyone just bored enough to go skating. 

Even amidst the crowd, there was one person Robin couldn’t stop looking at. She had come into Family Video the other day, Steve had set her up with an account, Robin eavesdropping as she restocked shelves. Steve was laying his so-called “Harrington charm” on thick, very shamelessly flirting with the girl. She told him that her family had just moved to Hawkins, she'd be a freshman at Indiana State next year, going to the same college as Robin. Even Robin was shocked by how forward Steve had been with her, asking her out as he handed her her tapes. But, she had politely declined, and Robin knew it was silly but her heart did a little kick at that, because what heterosexual girl in her right mind would turn down the hair? She hadn’t even realized that she’d crunched right through the cinnamon-y fireball she’d been sucking on until the girl was out the door. 

Robin watches her skating, making it look effortless as she links arms with a friend, laughing, glossy lips glinting under the disco lights. Bananarama is blaring through the speakers.

A goddess on a mountain top

Was burning like a silver flame

The summit of beauty and love

And Venus was her name…

Robin feels like such a guy, but she can’t stop looking at her legs, perfectly sun soaked and framed by cut-offs. She tells herself it’s just because she’s checking out her technique, in case she herself wants to skate later. Yeah right. 

She's got it

Yeah, baby, she's got it

Well, I'm your Venus

I'm your fire, at your desire

Well, I'm your Venus

I'm your fire, at your desire…

After she made sure Steve wasn't watching, Robin had looked up the girl's account at the store, seeing that she’d checked out Young Frankenstein, Gone With the Wind, Rocky Horror, and Cleopatra. It was classic, it was bizarre, it was delightfully eclectic. Robin was smitten, and she hadn’t even talked to the girl.

Just then, she caught sight of Vickie, skating cozily with her boyfriend who was home from college. It still stung, to see the girl she’d been pining over completely oblivious to her feelings, but Robin had gotten good at avoiding it, avoiding her. She pressed up off the rink barrier, getting ready to meander over to the snack bar and drown her romantic sorrows in plasticky nacho cheese. As she spun around, however, she ran smack into someone on skates, a blur of gorgeous legs and cut-offs. Lord help me, she thought. The girl shrieked, giggling a little as they both held onto each others’ forearms to steady themselves.

“Oh god, sorry about that! Totally wasn’t looking where I was going,” she’s smiling so widely at Robin, who for maybe the first time in her life is rendered completely speechless, lollipop dangling loosely from her lips.

“Hey, I saw you working at Family Video, Robin right? I think that’s what that dude with all the hair called you,” Robin wills herself to nod at that. The girl was still holding onto her forearms, cracked cherry red nail polish contrasts against her freckled skin. 

Robin finally tries to speak, to say anything, but all that comes out is “I– you– um, I–” mumbling around her tootsie pop. The girl’s smile softens.

“Here, let me hold onto that for you, then you can say what you wanna tell me,” it happens so quickly, Robin thinks she’s having an aneurysm. The girl lets go of her arms and reaches up, taking the lollipop right out of Robin’s mouth before sliding it between her own glossy lips, grinning around the quickly dissolving treat. 

Robin lets out a stuttering exhale, “I’m Robin.” Nice, real smooth. The girl’s grin just widens, she speaks around the tootsie pop. “It’s really nice to meet you, Robin.” She extends her hand, and Robin stumbles to shake it as the girl tells her her name. Robin’s brain immediately starts to chant it like a prayer.

“You seem cool, can I give you my number? It’d be rad to hang out with you sometime.” Rad. Normally Robin would roll her eyes at a word like rad, but now she’s just nodding frantically, “yeah, uh-huh.” The girl smiles, “you don’t happen to have a pen do you?” Robin pats at her jeans, and thanks the merciful universe when she finds one in her back pocket. 

When she takes the pen from her hand, their fingers brush and it feels like the tiniest fire running up Robin’s arm. She glances around briefly, worried that people are watching them, but then she figures they just look like two really good girlfriends chatting. But when the girl holds her forearm again, turning it over and scribbling out her number, nothing about it feels platonic, not even with a lower-case p. I’m never washing this arm again. 

She hands Robin back her pen before taking the lollipop out of her mouth. She holds it out in front of Robin for a moment, quirking her eyebrow until Robin understands what she wants her to do. Robin feels her entire face burning as she jerkily moves forward, taking the tootsie pop back into her mouth, swiping it into her cheek.

“Call me soon, okay?” Robin nods, mute again, as she watches the girl flash her one more smile before she’s rolling back into the rink.

Robin thinks she needs to find Steve immediately. He has her inhaler in his stupid fanny pack and suddenly, Robin can’t really breathe.

[shealwaysreads]

Measure

Laurent wasn’t a small man. 

He’d been a boy still, when he lost Auguste, and had looked up to him in the same way he had at an oak tree. But their nursemaid had shown him—before his uncle had unceremoniously dismissed her—where she had kept track of Auguste’s growth. Little notches on the wooden doorframe. That last mark was not long before his twenty-fifth birthday, he was so good, so kind to indulge me… she had told him. Laurent had stood next to it, the morning after his own twentieth birthday. He had already outgrown his big brother. 

Daily riding, sword practice, and the rigorous demands he made of his own body had built and defined it. He was stronger than he looked. He had inherited his father’s broad shoulders, along with his mother’s fair hair. He had managed to masquerade in a gown only due to his talent for self-control and knowing how to use his body both to repel and attract.

Laurent wasn’t a small man. But next to Damen—Damianos; his lover; a king; Exalted—next to him, Laurent felt almost petite. Their contrast was complete: hair, eyes, skin. Size. 

When they stood together, the top of Laurent’s head came only to Damen’s shoulder. When they embraced he could turn his ear and hear Damen’s heart beat. When he rested his hand over Damen’s—fair skin on dark, though both callused from horsemanship and warfare—his fingers looked delicate, his palm small. 

When he sat like this, straddling Damen’s sturdy hips, feeling the prickle of his hairy thighs against his ass, their cocks—both hard, blood-flushed and throbbing—lay next to each other against Damen’s belly. Laurent took them both in his hands, wrapping his fingers around their combined girth. Like this, he saw the difference between them too. Damen was thicker, longer, bigger.

It didn’t make Laurent doubt himself, he knew Damen was pleased with him and his body and all the ways it made Damen feel. 

No, Laurent loved the difference. 

He loved knowing his own strength and loved knowing that behind him at every step was Damen, towering. 

He loved the solid mass of muscle and bone that meant Damen could hold him down and take, but wouldn’t, unless Laurent wanted it. 

And he loved this. He loved taking Damen’s cock—heavy and hot—in his hand, and guiding it into himself. Loved the slow, aching slide down. Loved how long it took to settle himself back down into the cradle of Damen’s hips and thighs. How deep he felt Damen inside of him, right up in his belly. He loved the strain in his thighs as he rose high onto his knees before dropping back down. He loved it like winning a horse race, loved it like climbing a summit. 

Damen was a mountain, in every sense, and Laurent was the man who reached the peak and relished the true size of the achievement.

Read it here on Ao3 🖤

Written as part of @captiveprincekinktober for the prompt 'size difference’

Part of the Such-Like I Love Series

[kylianswifey]

Keep Holding On - Kylian Mbappe x Reader

Summary:

Kylian and Y/N decide to go mountain climbing on their vacation. Something unexpected happens that put life into perspective. ___________________________

Kylian leaned back against the soft cushions of the private jet, feeling the tension of the past few weeks slowly melting away. He glanced over at Y/N, who was staring out the window at the ocean below, her dark hair framing her face. They were headed to a private island, far away from the media frenzy that surrounded him as one of the most famous football players in the world.

Kylian and Y/N had been dating for two years, and although they both led busy lives, they made it a priority to spend time together whenever they could. This trip was their chance to escape the stress of their daily routines and just enjoy each other's company.

When they landed on the island, they were greeted by a guide who led them to a secluded cabin nestled in the mountains. The view was breathtaking, with lush greenery stretching out as far as the eye could see. They spent their first few days lounging on the beach, soaking up the sun and enjoying the quiet.

On the fourth day, Kylian suggested they go for a hike up one of the nearby mountains. Y/N was hesitant at first, but Kylian's infectious enthusiasm won her over. They set out early in the morning, the sun just starting to rise over the island.

As they climbed higher, the air grew cooler and the path became steeper. Y/N was a bit out of breath, but Kylian urged her on, promising that the view from the top would be worth it. They were almost at the summit when Y/N's foot slipped on a loose rock. She cried out and Kylian turned to see her clinging desperately to a nearby boulder, her other hand scrabbling at the rocky ground.

Kylian Mbappé had always considered himself to be a man of control. He had an innate ability to assess any situation, to quickly discern what was happening and to take action. As one of the world's most talented football players, his instincts and reflexes had been honed to perfection. He prided himself on his ability to stay calm in the most intense of situations.

But as he stood on the mountainside, watching Y/N slip and fall, his control slipped away from him. Panic rose in his chest, and for a moment, he was frozen in place, his mind racing.

He heard her scream, and his heart leapt into his throat. He spun around, his eyes searching for her, and saw her dangling precariously from a rock outcropping, her feet scrambling to find purchase on the cliff face.

"Kylian!" she cried out, her voice hoarse with fear. "Help me!"

Kylian's mind cleared in an instant, and he sprang into action. He took a few steps toward her, assessing the situation. She was holding on with one hand, her body suspended in mid-air. He knew he had to move quickly.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he said, his voice low and soothing. "Just take a deep breath and hold on. I'm right here. I'm coming."

Y/N's eyes were wide with fear, and Kylian could feel the adrenaline coursing through his own veins. He carefully made his way over to her, inching along the narrow ledge until he was close enough to reach out and take her hand.

"I've got you," he said, his voice unwavering. "Just keep holding on. We'll get through this together."

For what felt like an eternity, they stayed like that, suspended in mid-air. Kylian could feel the rock beneath them starting to shift, but he refused to let himself think about what would happen if it gave way completely. Instead, he focused all his energy on calming Y/N down, talking to her in a soothing tone and reminding her of all the things they still had left to do in life.

He took another step, and then another, slowly making his way to her. He kept his eyes locked on hers, trying to project an air of confidence even as his heart raced.

"Kylian, I can't hold on much longer!" Y/N cried out.

"I'm almost there," Kylian replied, his voice strained. "Just hold on a little bit longer."

He was only a few feet away from her now, close enough to see the fear in her eyes. He reached out, his fingers brushing hers.

"Grab my hand," he said, his voice urgent.

Y/N's fingers closed around his, and he pulled her toward him with all his strength. They stumbled backward, and Kylian braced himself, his feet digging into the rocky ground.

The rock outcropping gave way, tumbling down the cliff face in a shower of debris. Kylian held Y/N tight, feeling her shaking in his arms.

"It's okay," he whispered, his lips brushing her hair. "You're okay. I've got you."

They stayed like that for a long time, neither of them moving. Kylian could feel Y/N's heart racing in her chest, her breath coming in short gasps. He held her close, feeling his own heart slowing down as he realized just how close they had come to disaster.

When Y/N finally calmed down, Kylian led her carefully back down the mountain, his arm around her waist. They walked in silence for a long time, until they finally reached the safety of their cabin. Y/N collapsed onto the bed, her face still wet with tears.

Kylian sat down next to her, taking her hand in his. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I shouldn't have pushed you to come on the hike. I just wanted us to have an adventure together."

Y/N shook her head, "It's not your fault," she said, her voice shaky. "I wanted to come. I just...I didn't expect it to be so scary."

Kylian squeezed her hand gently. "I know. I'm sorry I didn't realize how scared you were until it was too late. But you were so brave, Y/N. You held on with everything you had. I'm so proud of you."

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears. "But you saved me," she said. "If you hadn't been there, I would have fallen. I could have died."

Kylian pulled her into a tight hug, his heart aching at the thought of what could have happened. "I'll always be here to catch you, Y/N. No matter what. I love you."

They stayed like that for a long time, just holding each other and soaking up the comfort of being together. Eventually, they fell asleep, exhausted from the day's events.

The next morning, Y/N was still shaken, but she insisted on going for a walk on the beach. Kylian could tell she needed to move and breathe in the fresh air, and he was happy to oblige. They strolled along the shore, their bare feet sinking into the warm sand.

After a while, Y/N stopped and turned to Kylian. "Thank you," she said, her voice soft. "For everything. For being there for me. For saving me. For loving me."

Kylian took her face in his hands, gazing into her eyes. "Always," he said. "I'll always be here for you, Y/N. No matter what. I love you more than anything."

They kissed then, a gentle, tender kiss that spoke volumes. As they pulled away, Kylian took Y/N's hand in his, intertwining their fingers. They walked back to the cabin together, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead, knowing that they could count on each other no matter what.

[ladylooch]

HI I LOVE YOUR FICS SM!!! can u make a blurb of hiking with nico in Switzerland? He just looks so much more attractive when he’s doing what he loves thank uuuu

A/N: oh my gosh, thank you so much! Just lil ole me over here blushing :) We love hiking Nico... I still would not hike a glacier for him tho.

I have a few more lil blurbs here and here If you are interested in a lil extra reading today!

“Neeks, I’m going to die.” You tremble in your hiking boots, looking over the ledge to your left. 

“You are not going to die.” His steady voice responds. “Baby, take my hand. I would not have brought you here if I didn’t think you could do it.”

You look at him, shaking your head, feeling like your whole body is going to vibrate off the side of this switchback. You’re almost to the summit of the trail. You felt good the whole way up until you got to the bottom of the switchback. But Nico was having so much fun, you didn’t want to ruin it by explaining your nervousness. However, the last little bit requires for you to jump across a little gap that plunges ten feet back down. It’s enough to break a leg for sure. And you’re a little clumsy and a whole lot tired, so it feels like a real possibility.

“Y/N.” He tries again, even softer, from where he is leaning over the gap, extending his hand to you. “Put your hand in mine. Then jump, I’ll do the rest.” 

“Nico.” Your voice quivers. He notes it and nods assuringly again.

“Trust me.” He asserts. You look into those perfect, brown eyes of his and you do the opposite of what your body is telling you. You jump right into Nico’s body. He catches you easily, chuckling at the force of your momentum knocking him a few steps back. “That’s my girl.” He kisses the top of your head, keeping you squeezed in his tight grasp for a few more moments to establish your safety.

“Holy shit.” You pant, then pull back, looking at his face. He leans down to kiss you proudly.

“When you’re ready, we keep going.” You nod, pushing out a calming breath and following after him. He reaches his hand back to you to hold his fingers while you continue the ascent. Your focus is put back on one foot in front of the other to distract from the tiredness in your legs and slight stitch in your side.

Nico stops suddenly in front of you. You smack your face into his backpack, then look up, stunned. 

The scene in front of you is as indescribable as it had been when Nico was telling you about it this morning at 4:30am. The sunrise is bursting out from the East. It dances across the ragged tops of the alps and down the slightly snow capped mountains surrounding you. Nico says nothing. Just turns to watch you admire his homeland, reflecting the look you have at the beauty surrounding you. 

“My beautiful girl in my beautiful country.” He leans forward, nuzzling his nose against your cheek. “Worth it?” All you can do is nod. “Let’s eat and drink our beers.”

He brings you over to a large, flat rock, letting you sit down before working your backpack off your shoulders for you. Then, he hands you a few jerky strips and a trail mix bar. The only sound that disturbs the wilderness is Nico cracking your post-summit beers.

“Proscht.” He prompts.

“Proscht.” You respond while clinking your cans. The sip of beer tastes like the best damn thing you’ve ever put in your mouth.

“Thank you for doing this with me.” He wraps an arm around your shoulders. He pulls, bringing your temple to his lips. You lean into his warmth, still not quite used to the chill of Switzerland in August. The wind really whips up here without any shelter.

“I had so much fun doing this with you. I wish we had mountains in Jersey so I could see you doing this all year.”

“It wouldn’t be the same.” He murmurs, then looks out across the vastness of the mountains in front of us. He is right. 

Plus, what you love the most about this moment is Nico being home… and being here with him for the first time.

[tripleaxeldiaz]

when the dance it’s through, it’s me and you

read on ao3

He knew this was coming, is the thing. He had time to prepare, to steel himself, to come to terms with the fact that while Buck didn’t want to be with Taylor specifically, he does, eventually, want to be with someone. And finding someone to be with involves dinners and drinks and generally less free time to hang out with your best friend and his son, no matter how much your best friend selfishly enjoys having you all to himself.

So Eddie knew this was coming — he really, painfully did — and he thought he would be able to handle it.

But then he walks into the locker room at the end of shift on a random Thursday and is overcome with want so suddenly that he can’t feel his legs for a minute, because Buck looks good. He always does, to be fair, but this is borderline sinful — his jeans are perfectly tight, his shirt makes his biceps look like they’re about to pop the seams, and his hair is slicked enough to stay down but not enough to get rid of the curls completely.

He recovers as quickly as he can, shaking himself as he crosses the rest of the distance to his locker. “Hot date tonight?” he asks, partially joking, partially curious, partially desperately hoping those jeans will be sitting on his couch instead of on a cracked leather stool in a dimly lit bar. 

Buck smiles, soft and a little shy. “Yeah, actually, I’m meeting her for drinks in 20 minutes.”

Eddie had definitely not prepared himself enough at all, actually, if the way his heart uncomfortably skips in his chest is anything to go by.

He shakes himself again, aims for something encouraging and normal. “That’s great, man, I hope it goes well.” 

It’s a lie, a big, fat lie, but Buck’s smile turns up to 1000 watts and he’s wiggling with excitement. Eddie can’t help but absorb a little bit of that happiness and smile right back.

“Thanks,” Buck says, slamming his locker closed. “I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. We still on for the zoo?”

“Of course, Chris would never miss a chance to see the new brown bear cubs.”

“Me neither,” Buck says, his smile somehow getting even brighter. “Give him a hug for me when you get home, yeah?”

“I will. See you tomorrow.”

Buck waves as he jogs out the bay doors towards his Jeep. It takes an impressive amount of will power for Eddie not to gawk at his ass as he goes. He stays in the locker room long enough to watch the Jeep pull out of the parking lot, and then he does the only thing anyone can do when the man you’re stupidly in love with is dating people other than you.

He drives his ass home and sulks.

Just for the evening, he tells himself. Honestly, Frank should be proud of him for feeling his feelings like this.

Of course, Frank would also remind him that if he had been honest with Buck about the whole stupidly in love thing, he maybe wouldn’t have to be feeling any of these feelings at all. But he wasn’t — he put it off and put it off instead, at first because of proximity to the break up, and then because they had fallen back into a rhythm — field trip chaperoning and beach days and more nights with Buck crashing on his couch than without —  that he was reluctant to break. And yes, Frank, he knows they could’ve kept that rhythm, and he knows he shouldn’t assume Buck’s feelings for him, he gets it, okay, but honestly? 

He’s scared. 

Terrified to his bones, actually, and he’s secure enough in his emotions to admit that to himself. The idea of summiting the mountain of his feelings for Buck with no idea what will be on the other side ranks right up there on his list of greatest fears with tight spaces and getting shot in broad daylight, and he’s not sure any amount of therapy would make him okay with living a life that Buck wasn’t a part of. And he knows, he knows, as deeply in his bones as that terror is, that Buck would never, ever leave him and Chris completely, but there’s still a smidge of ever-present fear keeping guard at the top of the mountain and not letting him pass.

Maybe one day that fear will finally melt away and let him through. Until then, the only thing melting is the ice cream in his bowl, so he shovels another spoonful into his mouth and tries to focus on the movie Chris picked out instead of the flurry of nonsense happening in his head.

He gets about 10 minutes of peace, just long enough for Chris to finish his own ice cream, place the bowl on the coffee table, and turn to face him head on, eyebrows furrowed in a surprisingly Buckley manner.

Eddie pauses the movie. “You okay bud?”

Chris nods. “I’m fine. Are you okay?”

He has no idea how he sees through him so easily, but he always does. And he never wants to lie to Chris, but he also doesn’t think talking to your eleven year old about your love life is very healthy, no matter how close the two of you may be.

“I’m…a little blah today, I guess,” he says, shrugging. A very broad truth, but the truth nonetheless.

Chris nods sagely. He reaches behind them, tugging the blanket off the back of the couch and tucking it securely around the two of them. He picks up the remote and snuggles deeper into Eddie’s side, and Eddie wraps his arm around his shoulders and gives him a squeeze, thankful that Chris doesn’t think he’s too big for this kind of affection just yet.

Chris presses play, monstrous roars and metallic shrieks filling the living room again. “I bet the giant robot fights will help you feel better.”

Eddie snorts through his nose, leaning down to rest his cheek on top of Chris’ head. “I bet you’re right. I’ll be better in no time now.”

I’ll be better in no time I’ll be better in no time I’ll be better in no time

If he repeats it enough, maybe it’ll stick. Someday. Eventually.

~~~~~~~~~~

They meet at the zoo bright and early next morning, Buck full of big smiles and bear hugs as usual. Chris has the day planned to the letter, so they don’t take a break until well into the afternoon, Eddie and Buck collapsing onto a shaded bench while Chris is distracted by one of the zookeepers talking about brown bear hibernation. 

Buck hasn’t said a word about the date all day, so Eddie could keep avoiding it too. But he should be supportive, he supposes, even if it has the potential to ruin their otherwise perfect day.

“So,” he says as neutrally as possible. “How was last night?”

Buck shrugs and smiles, but it’s tight, not as bright as Eddie’s been seeing all day. “Her name’s Jessica, she works in PR, has a chocolate lab named Goose. We split a giant pretzel at the bar and she laughed at all of my jokes.”

“Wow, she must really like you, most of your jokes are terrible.”

Buck throws his head back and laughs loudly, shoving Eddie’s shoulder with his own. “They are not, asshole, I’m a comedic genius.”

“I think everyone on our team would beg to differ,” Eddie says, chuckling, trying not to chase after Buck’s warmth as he sits back upright. “So it went well?”

Buck shrugs again. “For the most part.”

“But?”

He sighs harshly through his nose. “She talked about her ex, like, the entire night. Every time she asked me a question, I’d answer, it would somehow connect back to him, and she’d go on a 10 minute tangent. I think I knew more about him than her by the end of the night.”

Eddie winces, “Yikes, that sucks.”

“And then,” Buck continues, “she still asked me if I wanted to go back to her place!”

Eddie’s stomach flips uncomfortably, because it was hard enough keeping his cool hearing about an innocent date, he’s not sure he’d be able to handle hearing about anything beyond that. “Did you? Go with her?”

Buck shakes his head hard. “No way, I told her I was too tired and bailed. I honestly wish I could’ve bailed sooner, but I didn’t know how to without looking like a douche.”

The words tumble out of him before he can stop them. “You could’ve called me.” Buck cocks his head towards him, confused, and Eddie is just as confused himself, but it seems his subconscious has already worked this out. “Adriana does it with her friends. If a date starts going south, she’ll text them so they call with a fake emergency and she can leave. Apparently it works every time.”

It’s quiet for a bit as Buck mulls the idea over, absentmindedly picking at his nails. “You don’t think I should just stick it out?” he asks quietly, like he’s afraid to voice the thought too loudly. “Maybe I’m just rusty at the whole dating thing.”

Eddie scoots down the bench until they’re pressed together from hip to ankle. “You just got out of a relationship where you thought sticking it out would work,” he says as kindly as he can. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with knowing when you don’t want something, and it’s not fair to anyone to keep forcing it, especially to yourself.” It’s pretty good advice, if he does say so himself, even if it’s partially motivated by the green-eyed part of him that doesn’t want any of Buck’s dates to work out.

But he wants Buck to be happy, more than anything else. And that trumps useless jealousy every time. 

Buck ducks his head and smiles that soft, sweet smile that Eddie loves best. “You’d really come up with a fake emergency for me?”

Eddie knocks their shoulders together again. “Of course.” I’d do anything for you goes left unsaid.

Before he can say anything else that tells on himself too much, Chris makes his way back over to them, his smile so big it practically splits his face in half. “Dad! The zookeeper said they’re gonna feed the bears at 4! Can we get ice cream and come back so we can watch?”

“Sure we can,” Eddie says. “I think I just need to get some—”

“I got it, Eds,” Buck says, patting his knee as he stands. “Chris, did the zookeeper tell you anything you didn’t already know?”

That launches Chris into fact after fact, the two of them chattering as they walk to the ice cream stand. Eddie lags behind a bit, watching them laugh, and tries not to think too hard about how wants this — ice cream and bear facts and Buck being theirs — forever.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buck goes on more dates — six more, to be precise — and he doesn’t call for a bailout during any of them. It’s a good sign — no call means the date is going well which means Buck is happy and having a good time — and Eddie knows he should be happy for him, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t the teeniest, tiniest bit disappointed when he doesn’t see Buck’s contact flash across his phone.

He does not sulk about it, though.

At least not obviously enough for Chris to notice.

He does stop buying ice cream. Just in case.

And he does ask Buck about the dates, every time, because he’s a good friend, damn it, and he wants to support Buck in everything he ever does, including getting his groove back. He’ll push any and all of his own feelings aside if it means Buck knows that he’s in his corner no matter what.

He’s doing exactly that the night of date number seven, trying instead to focus on watching the Rangers game and not on the fact that Buck is currently at a Mexican restaurant not half a mile away from his house, or how easy it would be to put in an order for pick up so he can casually scope the place out and see how Buck is doing.

He will not be doing that, though, because that crosses far too many lines for his liking. He also doesn’t want to have to explain that one to Frank.

Jonah Heim hits a triple, and Eddie’s phone starts to buzz. And buzz. And buzz. And buzz. 

[from: Buck] eddie sos pls help

[from: Buck] this man has been so rude to our waiter i’m about to lose it

[from: Buck] and i love this place i don’t want them to think i approve of this horrible behavior

[from: Buck] i’m hiding in the bathroom i’m so embarrassed

[from: Buck] i can’t be here anymore pls save me

[from: Buck] eddie

[from: Buck] eDDIE PLEASE

A thrill goes through him, quickly squashed by guilt, because he really should not be so pleased about this. That doesn’t keep a small smile from spreading as he types back, fully prepared for this situation like he promised he would be.

[to: Buck] I’m on it. Go back to the table, I’ll call you in 5. Just play along. 

He gets about 25 heart emojis in response, which sets off another thrill, which brings more guilt. He waits a bit, long enough for a home run from the Guardians to put the Rangers behind, before he clicks Buck’s number. 

Buck answers on the second ring. “Hey Eds, everything okay?”

Eddie hopes the one fluke drama class he took in high school will serve him well now. “Hey man, sorry to interrupt your date, but Chris and I are headed back from the beach and our tire just blew out.” 

“Oh no, are you guys okay?” His concern is so genuine it makes Eddie’s heart beat a little faster before he remembers it's all an act.

“We’re fine,” he says, “but the closest mechanic is like a 5 mile walk from here. I really hate to ask, but—“

“No, it’s okay, I’m on my way. Maybe now you’ll finally listen to me and get Triple A, huh?”

That’s not a lie, he’s been bugging Eddie about it for years now. “You can lecture me all about it later.”

“Oh I will,” he says, and Eddie can hear his smile. “Sit tight, I’ll be there soon.”

They hang up, and it strikes Eddie that if this were real, if he had actually called Buck while he was busy and needed his help, he doesn’t think the conversation would have gone any differently. Buck has always been willing to drop everything for him and Chris, and six months ago that would’ve made him feel awful, like he was taking advantage, but now he just feels…protective. Even in a fake scenario like this. He knows how big and golden Buck’s heart is, but his date clearly doesn’t, and something about that makes Eddie want to shout about it from the top of the Hollywood sign so everyone knows, keep watch over it like a bouncer at a club, only letting the worthy few in.

They weren’t kidding when they said love makes you stupid, even the unrequited kind.

His phone buzzing again breaks him out of his spiral.

[from: Buck] you are my hero 

[from: Buck] he barely even looked at me when i left he was too busy berating the staff

[from: Buck] thank you so much i owe you so big

Eddie doesn’t think before he texts back, just acting on instinct and what he wants.

[to: Buck] You can start your payback by bringing dinner over.

Which he immediately regrets, because maybe Buck doesn’t want to come over. Maybe he’s so affected by the date that he wants to be alone, or maybe he’s on the way to meet up with someone else, and Eddie has served his purpose and been a good friend so why would he—

Another succession of buzzes. 

[from: Buck] done

[from: Buck] me and general tso are on our way

[from: Buck] hope you have beer because i need about 5

And there goes Eddie’s heart singing again. He really needs to get that under control.

20 minutes later, the Rangers are still losing, and the front door swings open revealing Buck, backlit like some kind of angel, holding way too many bags of Chinese takeout. 

“Hope you’re hungry,” he says, dropping the food in the kitchen before flopping next to Eddie on the couch. “I didn’t get to eat dinner and I also had a coupon.”

Eddie snorts. “Of course you did.” They sit in silence for a minute while Eddie debates bringing the date up at all. But, again, he’s a good friend, so he does. “So it was that bad, huh?”

Buck closes his eyes and sighs loudly through his nose. “Imagine the worst person you’ve ever met, multiply their bad attitude by 100, put them in a Patagonia quarter zip and All Birds shoes, and that’s what I got tonight.”

Eddie winces. “So a huge douchebag.”

“He made two waiters cry,” Buck says, “and that was before we even got our appetizers.” He sighs again and looks over at Eddie, eyes and smile both soft and unguarded. “Thank you for saving me.”

Again, Eddie doesn’t think before he answers. “I’ll always save you.” 

Maybe it’s too revealing, maybe he’s showing too many of his cards, but it makes Buck’s smile widen and his eyes get even softer, so Eddie can’t really find it in himself to take his words back. 

“I know you will,” Buck says quietly, reverently, and with a baseball game as background noise and the smell of takeout wafting through the air, Eddie lets himself forget about dates and douchebags and pretend that this is the way things will always be.

~~~~~~~~~~

It happens again. And again. And again and again and again. Every other night for two weeks straight.

Eddie should feel bad, probably, but Buck always looks so relieved when he enters the Diaz house after another disaster, and Eddie can’t help but preen just a little bit at the fact that he is the reason for that relief, for the light in Buck’s eyes, if only for the night.

He’s being a good friend. And maybe a little selfish. But Buck is happy and not dating assholes, so it’s fine.

It’s almost enough.

It’s all Eddie’s got.

“90 minutes of true crime facts?” Chim asks when Buck recounts his latest aborted date in the loft between calls. “That’s annoying and slightly terrifying.”

“I know,” Buck says. “That’s why I left before dessert.”

“I don’t get it,” Hen chimes in from her perch at the kitchen counter. “You used to sleep with anything that moved, and now you can’t even make it through dinner?”

Buck clutches his chest in mock offense. “It’s called having standards, Henrietta. I’m older and wiser now, and I know what I want, and it is not hearing about other people’s murders every day for the rest of my life.”

He says it with such confidence, such surety, and Eddie’s proud, so proud, that Buck knows himself and his worth, but it also kind of stings. He knows what he wants too — who he wants — but he’s pretty sure he’ll never get to have it. He’ll get scraps, the aftermath of bad dates, until there are no more bad dates to speak of, and then everything will be different, and Buck will be gone. And Eddie will somehow have to figure out how to keep going with shrapnel for a heart.

If you talk to him…Frank’s voice echoes in his head, and it’s right, it’s been right, it’s always right, but it’s too late. Eddie missed that boat, and now all he can do is wave from the docks.

Buck’s arm coming to rest across his shoulders brings him back to Earth. “Luckily, I’ve got my knight in shining armor to bail me out and save me.”

“Oh?” Hen asks, eyebrows high. 

Buck nods. “Fake emergency call. Works like a charm.”

“For every bad date?”

“Every one.” 

“Every one?” Chimney repeats.

“Come on, like you two wouldn’t do that for each other.” The matching wide-eyed, jaw-dropped looks of surprise say otherwise. Eddie wants to sink into the couch and disappear forever.

Luckily, Bobby saves him from becoming part of the furniture. “Buck!” he calls from the truck bay. “Come help Ravi clean out the storage closet.”

“On it!” Buck shouts back. He pats Eddie’s chest before bounding down the stairs, and Eddie hates how quickly he misses the warmth, the grounding presence of Buck’s hands on him. Thoughts like that don’t make the “getting over being in love with your best friend” thing very easy.

He doesn’t realize he’s still staring after Buck until a throat clears from the kitchen. Eddie snaps his eyes over, and Hen and Chim are still staring at him, the shock on their face morphing into realization, because of course they figured everything out almost immediately. 

“I know,” he says, scrubbing his hands over his face, half exhausted, half hiding. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Maybe you should,” Chimney says. Eddie peaks through his fingers to look at him, and he looks more sympathetic than anything else now. “With Buck, at least.”

And there’s so many things he could say to that — He’s just getting used to dating again, He doesn’t want me like that, I’ll get over it soon, maybe, hopefully — but one statement, probably the most truthful statement, stands out above the rest.

“If I keep bailing him out like this, I get to keep him a little longer. He’ll find someone eventually who’s everything he wants, but until then, he’s got me.” It’s pathetic, and unbelievably selfish, but Eddie’s too tired to really care. 

Hen moves then, joining him on the couch, resting a gentle, comforting hand on the back of his neck. “You don’t think you’re everything he wants?” she asks.

He doesn’t have an answer that won’t involve a long, painful session with Frank after he admits it out loud, so he stays quiet, and she lets him. Her nails scratch through his hair, lulling him into the closest he’s gotten to peace in months, and for a few minutes, he can pretend this stupid plan of his isn’t breaking is own heart.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s almost 10pm on a date night, and Eddie hasn’t heard from Buck. They were meeting at 6, so he figured by 8:30, Buck would be on his couch eating lo mein and venting. But 8:30 came and went, and so did 9, and so did 9:30, and Eddie’s heart sank lower and lower until it felt like it was crushing his intestines, because he knows exactly why Buck hasn’t called. He still doesn’t believe in jinxes, but it is some kind of sick, universal irony that he put words to feelings he had vowed would never see the light of day, and not a week later, they were coming back around to bite him in the ass.

He makes it until 10:30 before he breaks out the Ben and Jerry’s from the freezer. At least Chris is asleep and can’t judge him.

This is his own fault. Just like when Buck first got back into dating, Eddie had been so desperate to cling to him, to their family, in any way he could, that he completely disregarded preparing to live life any differently. And part of him quietly hoped that it wouldn’t come to this — that somehow, Buck would figure out all the things that Eddie couldn’t express, that he doesn’t belong in a hazy bar or candlelit restaurant with some stranger he met on an app. He belongs somewhere with people who know him, who see him, who will fight against hell and high water and everything in between to be in his corner.

But Buck doesn’t know any of that, because he’s not a mind reader, as Frank constantly reminds him, and Eddie was too much of a coward to tell him the truth.

Not even the ice cream takes the sting out of that.

When he’s laying in bed an hour later, trying in vain to fall asleep, he remembers that he should probably text Buck and check in. That’s what you do when your best friend has a seemingly successful date — you debrief and congratulate him and tell him you hope it keeps going well. 

But he’s just…can’t.

So he doesn’t.

He puts his phone down and rolls over and adds guilt to the pile of emotions threatening to collapse in his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing he hears when he walks into the locker room the next day is Chimney asking, “So, Buckaroo, what did your date do wrong this time?”

Which is followed by Buck laughing and saying, “It actually went really well. We already have date number two planned for next week.”

Which is followed by Eddie seriously considering leaving and calling in sick. He doesn’t even care if that’s dramatic — his stomach is churning, so it’s not really a lie.

Hen spots him before he can bolt, though, and she gives him a look like she can hear his heart crumbling from across the room. 

Busted. 

He tries his best to pull it together, because if Hen already noticed something was wrong, Buck will definitely notice, and Eddie will be damned if he’s the one to wipe Buck’s smile off his face. He squashes everything down — including Frank’s voice echoing that he can’t keep ignoring how he’s feeling — and walks to his locker to get changed.

“Good night last night?” he asks as enthusiastically as he can.

Buck nods. “Yeah, Alex is great. He’s a nurse, he volunteers at an animal shelter on the weekends, supposedly makes a mean chili.”

“Sounds like he’s the whole package,” Eddie says. 

Buck’s face does something complicated for a minute, like a dark cloud passes over it, and his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes afterwards. Eddie’s stomach twists up even worse. He slams his locker closed and faces Buck where he’s bent over tying up his boots. 

“Hey,” he says quietly, waits for Buck to meet his eye. “I’m happy for you, you know that right? You deserve someone good who’s gonna give you the world.” 

The cloud passes again, but Buck’s smile looks more real afterwards, so Eddie takes it as a win. He claps Buck’s shoulder before leaving the locker room, silently promising to do better, to be there for Buck like he should. He’ll listen to him talk about this Alex guy, he'll be friendly whenever he meets him, he’ll be right by his side at the altar at their wedding if it comes to that, anything that’ll prove that he isn’t going anywhere.

If it means living with more heartache and wrestling with more longing, then fine, he will — it’s a small price to pay for Buck’s happiness.

~~~~~~~~~~

There’s a knock at the door as Eddie clears the last of the dinner plates. He catches Chris’ eye across the counter, who looks just as confused as he is — anyone they’d normally expect either has a key or would have texted first.

“It’s probably some salesman,” Eddie says.

“Or a Girl Scout selling cookies,” Chris says brightly. “If it is, can we get Thin Mints?”

Another knock.

Eddie nods towards the door. “See who it is first, then we’ll negotiate.”

Chris heads off, and hears the familiar sounds of the deadbolt unlocking and the door swinging open before—

“Oh! Hi Buck!”

Eddie pauses where he’s loading the dishwasher. That’s weird — he knows for sure he and Alex had another date tonight (number five to be exact, but he kind of hates that he knows that).

Sure enough, the voice he’d recognize anywhere echoes back to him. “Hey buddy. Am I interrupting dinner?”

“No, we just finished. Come in! Dad’s cleaning up the kitchen.”

Jackets are rustled into place and shoes are kicked off before Buck and Chris round the corner back into the kitchen. Buck’s definitely dressed for a date — deep red button down and those perfect jeans again — but his hair is loose from its gel and falling over his forehead, like he’s been running his fingers through it, which he only does when he’s stressed.

“Hey,” he says. He’s smiling, soft and easy like he usually does in this kitchen, but it’s strained, just a touch, and there’s a slight tremor in his voice.

Hmm.

“Hey,” Eddie says back. “Everything alright? How was the date?”

“It was fine. Short. Sorry I didn’t call first, I was—” he’s fidgeting now, his fingers drumming against his pant leg like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, and it clicks for Eddie then that Buck’s not so much stressed as he is nervous. And he’s not sure if it’s from the date or from coming here or what, but he knows he can’t — won’t — let it stand.

“Buck,” he says quietly, stepping forward to place a hand on his shoulder. He can feel his pulse beating like hummingbird wings through his shirt. “It’s okay. You’re always welcome here, day or night, call or no call, no matter what.”

He feels Buck relax underneath his touch. There’s still an energy simmering under his skin that Eddie can practically see, but for now, he thinks this is enough. As long as Buck knows he doesn’t have to be anxious about being here, with his family.

“Well,” Buck says, voice steadier now, “let me be useful, at least. Can I help clean?”

“Nah, I’m almost done.”

“You can help me with my science homework,” Chris says from the kitchen table, pulling out his folders from his backpack. “As long as you read the instructions first.”

Buck laughs and Eddie swears the whole room gets brighter. “Deal. Show me what we’re learning now.”

The rest of the evening is so…normal. Buck and Chris finish homework while Eddie puts the house back together. They pile on the couch and play Mario Kart until they’re eyes go crossed and Chris is falling asleep at the wheel. They get him in bed, together, before flopping back on the couch, slightly tangled up in each other, and it feels so domestic, so good, that Eddie is almost worried he’s dreaming. But underneath the peace, he can tell the gears in Buck’s head are still churning about something, so he mutes the TV and turns his whole body to face Buck.

“Okay. What’s up? You’ve been practically vibrating since you got here.”

Buck doesn’t look at him, instead moving to stand and pace across the living room, still caught up in his thoughts. Eddie wants to help, but he doesn’t want to push too far, so he waits.

“I was really trying with Alex,” Buck says finally, and Eddie wills himself to stay calm, neutral, supportive. If Buck and Alex have called it quits, he is not going to be happy about it. 

At least not when Buck’s in the same room.

He keeps going. “He was cute and sweet and funny and he's a nurse, for God’s sake, he’s basically a saint. But something was— he just wasn’t—”

“He wasn’t what?”

Buck sighs, hands moving up to run through his hair again. “He wasn’t enough. And it wasn’t even because of something he did this time!”

Even though the words aren’t directed at him, they still sting, and he almost feels bad for Alex. Almost. It’s overshadowed by the pride Eddie always feels when Buck puts himself first. “Why wasn’t he enough?” he asks.

Buck comes to a stop right in front of Eddie and looks at him, really looks at him, long enough for Eddie to start feeling buzzy himself. And for the first time since he arrived, Buck is still and steady and sure.

“He wasn’t enough because he wasn’t you.”

Eddie’s pretty sure the Earth stops spinning. 

“What?” he asks quietly, so he doesn’t break whatever spell he’s fallen under because there’s no way — no way — that Buck meant that the way Eddie wants him to mean it. 

“He wasn’t you, Eds,” Buck says like it’s the simplest, most obvious thing anyone has ever said. “I’ve been going on dates for months now, and I keep trying to find someone who makes me feel as safe and cared for and fucking content as I feel when I’m with you and Chris, and no one’s even come close.” He shrugs. “I think you’ve ruined me.” He winces at his word choice. “In a good way. In the best way.”

Eddie’s brain is completely scrambled, held together only by something that feels a lot like hope. “But—the girl who talked about her ex? And the guy that was mean to the waiters?”

“I mean, yeah, there were some bad ones at first. They got better and more normal eventually, but still. No matter how nice they were or how much fun we seemed to be having, all I could think about was how I was one text message away from being where I actually wanted to be.” 

So many things are flying through his head — shock, a little fear, that hope that’s still growing brighter and brighter. They’re all going so fast that he can’t make any of them stick long enough to form words, to do something, anything, to show Buck that he feels the same, so he says nothing. Which is the absolute wrong thing to do, because he watches Buck retreat back into his head, curling in on himself like he’s trying to protect all his softest parts.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, looking anywhere but Eddie, fingers twitching at his sides again. “This is a lot to dump on you like this. I should’ve waited or something, I don’t know—”

That gets Eddie’s ass in gear. He doesn’t think, he just moves, standing and meeting Buck in the middle of the living room and hauling him in by his fancy shirt collar. Eddie crashes their lips together, and Buck freezes for half a second before melting into it, arms coming around Eddie and pulling them together as close as possible. He feels hands roam up his back and soft moans vibrate against his lips, and he’s pretty sure there’s nowhere else he’s ever going to want to be in his life. Buck bites his bottom lip gently and gets a gasp out of him, and he knows for sure that if he were to die here, in Buck’s arms, with the taste of him still lingering on his tongue, he’d die happy.

He hopes he doesn’t, though. They finally found their way here. They’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for.

“You’ve ruined me too,” he whispers, pulling far enough away to speak but still close enough to feel every inch of Buck, grabbing hold of this miracle chance to tell him everything he’s been feeling for far too long. “You’re all I want, Buck. All I ever want. And I thought I missed my chance when you started dating again, so I just held on to those little post date moments with you, but—” he brings his hands up to cup Buck’s face, marveling at how perfectly they fit together. “You belong here. With us. Chris and I want you, we need you.”

He barely finishes his sentence before Buck is kissing him again, sweet and syrupy slow but still all consuming, pulling Eddie under and making his heart race. Kissing Buck is everything — fireworks and butterflies and the comfort of being exactly where you’re meant to be. It’s more exhilarating than a rope rescue, easier than breathing. It feels like new beginnings and happy endings and home. 

It feels like forever. 

They break apart for air, and Eddie realizes he confessed everything except the most important part. “I love you. So much. In case that wasn’t clear.”

Buck’s smile puts any sunny day to shame, and he leans in to trail kisses down Eddie’s jaw, over his chin, and back to his lips, where Eddie wants them to stay forever.

“I love you too,” he says, punctuated with another kiss. “And Chris.” Another. “Like a huge, stupid amount.”

“Not stupid,” Eddie says, resting their foreheads together. “Perfect.”

It really, really is.

~~~~~~~~~~

[from: Buck] eds

[from: Buck] i’m on a date right now

[from: Buck] with the hottest, smartest, kindest, most incredible guy i’ve ever met in my whole life

[from: Buck] so if i don’t text you later

[from: Buck] it’s probably because i’m getting lucky

Eddie rolls his eyes as his phone keeps buzzing, but he can’t help the fond, likely lovestruck smile that creeps across his face. He looks across the table at Buck, who looks damn near angelic in the low light of the Mexican restaurant where everything kind of started, and sees the same smile mirrored back at him. He nudges Buck’s foot under the table with his own and picks up his phone.

[to: Buck] I have it on good authority that you definitely will get lucky if you put your phone down.

There’s a clatter across the table, and Eddie laughs, freer and happier than he can ever remember being.

[from: Buck] done

[from: Buck] no more games

[from: Buck] i’m all yours

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hey there! I have no idea if you’ll see this, but I figured I’d send in an ask anyways.

You know that Blue Tears story you posted awhile back? Well, it’s really freaking good and has me coming back every once and awhile to reread it! I haven’t seen a lot of Blue Tears content, if any at all and my brain needs more.

So, could I request a sort of continuation to that story if that’s alright? Another Blue X Reader story that’s kinda Angsty and Hurt/Comfort focused?

I know you said to be specific with plot ideas, so I’ll try my best here:

It’s been awhile after Blue, Red and the Reader all came down from Mt. Silver, like a month or two. Red is doing better and has healed up but Blue has isolated himself and hardly leaves his house. Red and the Reader are hanging out (maybe the Reader is checking on him) and the topic of Blue comes up. Red’s concerned about him but he’s worried (and a little bit afraid) that Blue doesn’t want to see him, so he asks the Reader to check on him. So the Reader goes over to Blue’s house (maybe meeting Daisy briefly and asking her where Blue is) before going up to Blue’s bedroom door.

The Reader knocks and Blue answers. He ain’t looking to hot or sounding that great either. Bro is a mess. That guilty conscience hit him hard. Blue let’s the Reader in and Reader expresses their concern for him, along with saying that Red was worried about him to. Blue is kinda dismissive of it at first, but when the Reader tries to say that Blue is still their friend, he gets angry and thinks that it’s pity and not concern. Blue is angry, sad, and guilty. He feels like he doesn’t deserve the Reader or Red as friends and that he’s a murderer. Blue and the Reader kinda argue (well, Blue is arguing, Reader is calm and collected and trying to get Blue to calm down/get through to him because they know he’s not okay) and right before Blue screams something that he knows he’d regret later, he’s cut off by the Reader hugging him. After a couple seconds of just processing, he breaks down and cries, hugging them back and apologizing for yelling. The Reader just holds him and comforts him, telling him that he’s still deserving of care, that they and Red are still his friends, that they’re there for him, etc. (And maybe, after Blue has calmed down, the Reader helps him get outside a bit and get some fresh air after isolating himself.)

And that’s pretty much it! Also, sorry in advance for the long ask. I didn’t mean for it to be that long. I hope that plot isn’t too long or crazy. I just wrote out what was in my head.

I have no idea if you’ll see or write this, but if you do: Thanks! If not, then still, thanks for reading it!

(PS: Blue Tears!Professor Oak can suck an egg. He’s a horrible excuse of a grandfather. Please excuse the Oak Slander I had to say it-)

Ough I'm glad you liked that one! Also I must thank you for this in-depth request <3

......

It's been roughly a month since...well...

Since it happened.

Only you, Red, and Blue knew what that it was...as the rest of Kanto only knew the fabricated version of it.

That being a vicious Pokémon had attacked you three on the summit of Mt. Silver, with no one able to identify it through the blinding blizzard that kicked up.

That's the story you told the doctors, Daisy, and every other person who was concerned for your well-being.

But that's not what happened at all.

The true perpetrator was Blue, who attacked Red in an act of pure rage and grief, as he was convinced that his rival ruined his life, stole his family's praise, and inadvertently killed one of his most treasured Pokémon.

Somehow, he believed murder was the justifiable thing to do.

The only way he'd find any sort of relief or "peace".

Yet it only brought him more sorrow when you showed up and thwarted his attempts on Red's life--owing it to his Pidgeot for leading you straight to him.

Although he attempted to kill you too for interfering...you were able to snap him out of it and lead the pair down the mountain on Pidgeot's back, keeping a close eye on Blue in case he had another freakout.

Fortunately nothing else happened.

From there, the healing process could begin. But it was hard and painful, especially when you had to lie about everything...even to the professor himself.

As angry as you were at Oak for neglecting his only other family member, you couldn't exactly tell him that his grandson resorted to murder over sheer jealousy.

But despite everything, the three of you were slowly recovering from the trauma of that cold and snowy night.

Red's injuries were still being monitored, although he was okay enough to finally be discharged from the hospital (sporting only a few scrapes and bandaids that were hardly noticeable), and he arrived home to you and his relieved mother.

While she went out to run errands, you and him chatted for a few minutes. Considering how quiet he usually was, you did most of the talking while he did the listening.

You talked about the latest Pokémon you've captured, Lavender Town's most recent ghost story, the weather..

And Blue.

Of course, it's inevitable that the Donphan in the room had to be brought up. It couldn't be ignored forever..

But you noticed Red's subtle change of expression the second you brought up his name, and your eyebrows furrowed, worried that you've upset him. "Sorry, Red..I..I didn't mean-"

"No, it's fine." He assured you. "I haven't heard from him in a while.."

"...me neither. Daisy mentioned that he's been shutting himself in a lot more. I haven't seen him in days now."

"Yeah, I'm worried, too."

You blinked. "Really?"

Red nodded. "You should check on him."

"Wha--me? Would...you be okay with that?"

"I doubt he wants to see me, but...he'll definitely wanna see you. I just know it." He looked up, his brown eyes appearing soft as he gave you a small and comforting smile. "Just tell him...he's still our friend, okay?"

For a moment, you sat there astonished. You've never heard him talk this much in all the years you and Blue have known him.

And to realize he still genuinely saw him as a friend despite what happened? You were speechless.

But once the initial shock passed, you smiled back. "I'll be sure to tell him that if he lets me in. Wish me luck."

After giving him a hug goodbye (and insisting that he kept resting like his mother requested), you began the trek over to Blue's house, hoping he was still there.

When you arrived and knocked on the front door, it was Daisy who answered, surprised to see you standing there. "Oh hey, [y/n]."

"Hey, Dais...is Blue home?"

"Yeah. He's kinda in a mood, though. He hasn't come out of his room today. Not for breakfast or....anything." Frowning, she looked over her shoulder. "I've never seen him like this before...it's scaring me."

"And that's why I'm here. I think he'd feel better if he knew I wanted to come see him." You put one hand on the doorframe in case she thought about closing it on you. "Please."

"...okay." She allowed you inside. "I have to head to work. There's a Growlithe who needed some trimming..poor thing probably can't see with all the fur over its eyes."

"You go take care of that, I'll take care of Blue..thanks." Smiling, you headed in while she headed out the door, locking it behind her.

Finally alone, you exhaled a breath you didn't even know you were holding, before making your way up to Blue's bedroom. You just hoped he was somewhat feeling okay...although judging from Daisy's remarks, he was still far from that.

You prayed he wasn't doing anything harmful to himself or anyone. But you did have a Pokeball on your belt should you need to call out one of your companions just in case.

Hopefully, it didn't need to come to that and you can just talk.

After knocking on the door, there was only a few moments of silence before it swung open, revealing a very exhausted and disheveled-looking Blue. He was in sweatpants and his usual purple sweater, although his normally spiky hair was even more of a mess.

Any sort of light that was once in his eyes had died out long ago.

To put it bluntly, he looked like hell.

"Daisy, I said I'm not.....oh...." Even his voice lost that confidence and luster it once had, instead being quiet and hoarse, having not used it for days. "[Y/n]? What's up? Why are you here?" He frowned.

"To see you, dummy." Huffing, you leaned against the doorframe. "Wanted to make sure you were still alive."

"..well, I am. So you can go. Sorry I missed your calls-"

"Can I come in?"

"......"

"....please? Just for a few minutes?"

At this point, he was too tired to fight with you right now. So he allowed you into his room, which....didn't look any better than he did. You noticed were his curtains being drawn shut, and his pokeballs and gym badges scattered across the table.

The Blue you've grown up with had his room practically lit up like the sun and his badges neatly arranged in a glass box--just in case he had someone over and wanted to impress them with his triumphs.

Now? That version of him was seemingly dead and gone.

But you didn't stare for too long, not wanting him to think you were judging him for the mess. Instead you sat together on his bed, where he remained silent, staring down at the floor.

You finally cleared your throat, deciding to talk first. "Red and I have been worried about you...he-"

"That jerkward? Worried about me?" He snorted half-heartedly, looking up to see you frowning a bit. He sighed. "Sorry, go on."

"He was discharged today. Doctors said there's nothing they need to monitor, so..that's good, at least."

"Yeah..that is good."

You noted his rather dismissive attitude as you continued expressing your concerns for his well-being, along with how he shrugged off how his Pokémon were doing, if his grandfather ever stopped by to apologize (which he did, but it came much too late for him), and more.

He was sorta just repeating whatever you said and agreeing with it, hoping you'll leave and let him go back to moping.

Honestly he thinks you got better things to do than worry about him.

However, what you said next made something in his brain tick.

"Red wanted me to tell you that...he still thinks of you as a friend. I do, too."

All of the sudden, Blue's shoulders tensed and he stared directly at you.

Not with a tired half-lidded gaze like before, but with darkened brown eyes that seemed rather...angry.

"Don't even go there, [y/n].." He warned, voice dripping with Arbok venom.

"....go where?" You blinked in bewilderment at his abrupt attitude change.

Then again, you should have seen this quick coming from a mile away. He's always had a quick temper...although you were confused over why such a simple thing as reaffirming your friendship pissed him off.

"I know what you're doing..and I'm telling you right now that I don't need it."

"I....don't follow.."

"I don't need your goddamn pity." He snarled, fingers curling into the bedsheets beneath him. "Not yours, Red's, gramp's, or anybody's....so just go on and tell me how you REALLY feel."

"That is how we really feel, Blue." You did your best to stay calm, knowing he wasn't in the best headspace right now. Getting angry at him won't solve anything. "We're not saying that to pity you or anything...we genuinely-"

"You're lying. I bet Red thinks I'm a real sack of shit. I mean..how could he NOT?!! I almost killed him."

"Blue, that's-"

"And you, too, [y/n]!! I was LAUGHING in both of your faces! Swinging a fucking knife around!! How the hell do you not think of me as a monster to stay away from?!!"

"You're not a monster-"

"YES I AM!!" He was beginning to scream, putting a greater strain on his vocal cords. But he didn't seem to care. "You should've just told them all the truth! That what I tried to do was worse than ANYTHING Team Rocket ever did!! But no...you wanted to protect my sorry ass so I didn't get my feelings hurt."

"We both know that's not true at all. Blue..why can't you understand that-?"

"NO!! Why can't YOU understand that I don't fucking deserve you two as friends?!!! You should hate me, you should be happy that I'm not showing my face to anyone in this town! Because everyone here would be better off-!!"

You refused to let him even finish that statement, knowing he was going to regret it later. So you did the only thing you could do to shut him up.

And that was hug him, not saying another word.

Obviously, you didn't wanna crush him too much considering he felt like skin and bones at this point, but it was just enough for him to snap out of his tirade.

You just held him closely, hoping that he'd finally realize how serious you were about wanting to be here for him.

It took a few seconds for Blue to fully process what was happening right now, although before you could even consider letting him go...you heard a sniffle, followed by a quiet whimper.

He tried to silence those hints of weakness by pressing his face into your shoulder, but he ultimately failed and began sobbing, completely breaking down over everything that happened over the past month.

The incident and the isolation were already weighing heavily on him....and now he yelled at you for trying to be a caring friend.

He really didn't deserve you.

Not after all he's put you through.

"I-I'm sorry...I...I shouldn't have..d-done that.." His arms wrapped around you tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.."

"It's alright, I know you didn't mean it." You soothed, rubbing a hand up and down his back. His cries became more gut-wrenching by the second, proving how badly he needed this right now. "You've been hurt, too...and we should have realized that from the start. From the moment Raticate passed, we should've been there for you more. And I'm sorry that we weren't."

"Y-You were there for me! You've always been there.." He choked out, squeezing you tighter. "I-I was being s-stupid...and selfish, and....and I hurt you both!"

"Red and I both forgive you, okay? Nothing's ever gonna change that."

"...r-really?"

"Yes...like it or not you're still our friend, Blue, and we'll never stop caring."

Both of you sat there for a little while longer, with you saying nothing but comforting things to Blue and keeping him close, while his sobs gradually softened as the seconds passed.

You let him cry for as long as he needed to, even if he ran himself dry. You should've done this much sooner, but now you're here and he knew you weren't abandoning him.

Eventually he calmed down enough to let you go, although his gaze went to his lap, embarrassment over his meltdown slowly creeping in.

You smiled a little, taking your hand off his back. "You feel any better?"

"...b-besides feeling like a total loser crybaby? Yeah." He kept sniffling, wiping his face clean of any remaining tears or snot before he looked back up at you. "I guess I really needed that...thanks, [y/n]."

"Of course, it's what friends do." You stood up, taking another look around the bedroom and sighing. "You know? I also think you need sunlight..it's like a damn Zubat cave in here. Let's take a walk."

Normally, he'd have some sort of snarky comeback. But he was too emotionally burnt out to make up anything, as he instead nodded silently and followed you out his bedroom.

Together you walked outside, taking in the crisp winter air.

Blue didn't realize how much he needed this until he took a few deeps breaths, gradually calming himself down even more. But when he began shivering a little, you took notice and dug your scarf out of your bag.

No way were you gonna allow him to catch a cold. Not after he's isolated himself for so long and was only now getting some fresh air.

You wrapped the scarf around him, smiling at the way he clutched it and dug his red nose into the fabric, mumbling a thanks.

All you did was nod in return, putting an arm around his shoulders as you both headed down the sidewalk together, not going anywhere in particular.

Fortunately there were very few people out on the streets, so nobody stopped to bother either of you.

Surviving whatever happened on Mt. Silver that day made you, him, and Red out to be some kind of "celebrities", especially with folks pondering what "mystery Pokémon" attacked the former champion, his rival, and you.

But none of them would ever know the real story.

They simply couldn't.

For it's a secret you three will take to your graves.

[ladypiscesmoon]

Timothée Chalamet & Armie Hammer

This reading was done on the 27th of February and is alleged/for entertainment purposes only.

It has been a while since I read for these two. I think I did the last full reading last October, when they weren’t on great terms. I checked in a couple of times after that, but it didn’t change. Armie needed space and Timmy gave him exactly that.

I have had a lot of asks for these two, also when I wasn’t able to answer due to my health problems. But here we go:

From the words and pictures tarot & the Prism oracle:

Judgement reversed (doubt, self-loathing, lack of self awareness) & cleanse (love and appreciation for yourself, wiping away dust and grime, reveal the shine underneath bringing a sense of calm, ease and clarity)

As difficult it was for Timmy (I sense he felt betrayed and very lonely) I think Armie needed this time to make up his mind. After his anger faded, he was really hurt for a long time and still is. But he started to remember the times he was really happy with Tim. These two will always find their way back to each other, so it seems.

9 of cups (contentment, wishes come true, comfort, emotional, stability) & creativity (embrace magic, enjoy the process), caution ( don’t rush things, slow down, listen to your inner voice, proceed with care)

What I picked up from this: yes, I think Armie finally reached out to Timmy. Both have to proceed with care, though. I think they really have to talk about what they expect from each other and talk about boundaries. They shouldn’t rush or they will have the same problems again. Also I sensed that Timmy really literally has to slow down. I’m worried he will burn himself out. Apparently he’s sick now, a sign that he has to listen to his body.

The lovers (choices, relationship, union of harmony, full of trust, confidence and strength. Physical attraction and inner harmony) & peace (bring a sense of peace into your lives after a period of turmoil as a sign of healing, reflect on opening your heart, stillness together), determination (reach your goals, the summit of the mountain is within reach)

Love is not the issue here. It’s obvious their connection is strong. But that’s not always enough. Except for free will, one must always be willing to grow in a relationship, to be vulnerable, to communicate, to not be afraid of taking a leap. So I think this is hopeful, but they have to work for it. And I think they’re willing to work for it after this period of separation.

King of pentacles reversed ( greed, indulgence, obsessiveness with financial success, desire for things, temptation) & reflection (mirroring, teaching, encouraging to move forward, make important changes in your life, deep self-inquiring)

I think that Armie actually thought that Timmy was weak in accepting offers from the Kardashian’s and that he was over-ambitious or had a little bit of an ego. Strangely enough, I think Armie mirrors that, when he was younger he also did things he’s not proud of and even now he’s not always thinking before he acts. So he was hurt, yes, but I feel that Tim thought: well, you can make mistakes, but I can’t?

Now that Armie is a bit cooled off, he reflects on good things and wants to move on from this.

5 of pentacles reversed (recovery, isolation) & intuition (where is it guiding you? What does it tell you?

They should now build the contact up again, hopefully they will.

The secret language of the soul

Heal your masculine aspect, transform old situations into new possibilities, lovingly speak your truth, ground yourself

I purchased this deck a month ago and I really like it. What is the message here?

Thoughts: work on healing and resentment, create a balance. Let go of what no longer serves you, it will be uncomfortable but it will lead you into greater freedom and harmony. There are a lot of possibilities to make it work, if you two will do the work and TALK to each other. Take responsibility for your own role in the situation and think about how it impacted the other. Take responsibility for past behaviour, be honest with each other, mature, develop trust. Learn how to be vulnerable instead of acting in anger if you’re hurt.

Love oracle cards & lovers oracle

What would they like to say to each other?

Armie: top row

Timmy: bottom row

Heart shape cards: both. Of course the soulmate card came out, I was expecting that, I don’t think I ever did a reading for these guys without the twin flame card, or the soulmate card.

Armie is clearly ready to move past this and try to mend things. Tim seems to want to build up their communication. Not today ( the last card), I feel has more to do with him avoiding to much stress, because he feels sick and exhausted. I don’t feel he is not wanting to talk to Armie. But yeah, he certainly could do with a break from press and promotion.

This concludes the reading. Bear in mind, readers can interpret cards in different ways, this is what I pick up, and what I feel. Be nice to each other!

If you have any questions about this reading or other things, feel free to ask.

[mymultiverse00]

Left Behind

This is my first ever Twilight story. I hope you like it!

There are no hiding spots for humans in Volterra Castle, especially when considering its residents. Oh, I can find a dark corner to huddle in for a little while or even go outside to bask in the blazing hot sunshine, but no matter where I go, someone will always find me. They follow my voice, or my scent, or the sound of my wheelchair on the ancient stone floors, and like magic, any hope I had for some blissful solitude is completely shattered. But today is different. Today there are visitors in the castle from far away covens, and suddenly, no one around me can spare me a second glance, not even my mate. That part hurts the most.

I met my mate only six months ago while working in town at the old Volterra library. At the time, I had no real home, no living family, and really, no hope. I was barely eking out a living, limited by both my mobility and my inability to speak the local language. I was depressed and crippled by low self-esteem and severe anxiety. I barely had the will to go on, but then I met Marcus, and everything changed.

Every day for three months the tall, somber man visited me at the library, and slowly the two of us developed a relationship that blossomed into love. He confessed his feelings and his secret one rainy night in my tiny apartment and offered me a future I couldn’t possibly turn down. He moved me into his home and introduced me to his family, and never once was my disability an issue for him. In fact, he went out of his way to make things easier for me. Every day he told me he loved me, and brick by brick, he helped me rebuild my self-confidence and push the depression away.

As soon as I agreed to move in, Marcus started renovating and redecorating his rooms, adding low-profile furniture and other accessible fixtures. He remodeled the bathroom completely, adding grab bars and a roll-in shower with a sturdy teakwood bench across the back wall. He brought in a new bed that had the ability to be raised and lowered at will, along with a mountain of pillows designed to take pressure off my back, hips, and knees, and never once complained about his own discomfort.

He also considered my other human needs, expanding doorways and lowering work surfaces, creating unobstructed pathways to the garden and conservatory, and even convincing Aro to hire a full-time chef to cook my meals. He made it very clear that he wanted to make the remainder of my human life as simple as possible and would stop at nothing to make me happy.

There was only one thing he couldn’t change, however, and I have a hard time holding it against him: the stairs. Volterra Castle is full of ancient stone staircases everywhere you look. Stairs going up to Athenadora and Sulpicia’s rooms; stairs going down to the kitchen and the activity room for the lower guard; stairs keeping me firmly planted on the first floor of the castle at all times.

Normally, stairs are not a huge issue. Marcus took great delight in lifting me up into his strong arms in order to ferry me anywhere I wanted to go. He would loop my arms securely around his neck and pick me up like a bride, sneaking kisses and snuggles all along the way. I would giggle girlishly at his roguish behavior, and he would smile, and maybe we would be late to our destination if we ever made it at all. Today, however, the stairs won.

——————

The morning had been a busy one, with everyone buzzing around the castle, preparing for the arrival of some very important guests. Marcus and his brothers were holding a summit of sorts, and covens from all over Europe would be arriving at noon for two days of festivities. There would be a grand reception this afternoon and evening, and after the meetings ended tomorrow, there would be a lavish ball. This was the first time I would be introduced to such a large group as Marcus’s mate, so I was extremely nervous, but my love had assured me that I would be welcomed by all.

Or at least I would have been, had I been in the throne room with the rest of the group. Somehow, in all the excitement of handshaking and backslapping during the arrival of our guests, everyone forgot about the half dozen steps required to enter the gathering hall, subsequently forgetting about me too.

After 45 minutes of rolling back and forth in front of the doors and occasionally speaking Marcus’s name out loud, hoping to catch his attention, I decided to give up. Obviously, he was too busy to miss my presence, as were Aro, Caius, my sisters, or my friends in the guard. My feelings were hurt, undoubtedly, but seeing no other option, I decided to return to my room and wait for someone to realize I was absent.

No one noticed.

Hours went by without a peep. No one came to look for me, and no one brought me dinner either. I couldn’t get to the kitchen myself because of the goddamned stairs, so there was nothing left for me to do but stay exactly where I was, hidden in the furthest corner of my room’s veranda, trying not to be hungry and trying not to sob out loud as I cried. My heart was aching as the heavy feeling of abandonment settled over me, and my old friend, self-loathing, started creeping in. The next several hours were filled with ugly thoughts and horrible sadness, and though I wanted to resist that darkness, it completely overwhelmed me once more.

——————

It was nearly midnight when I finally heard my mate’s frantic voice calling out for me from our shared bedroom.

“Y/N!” Marcus called, a hint of desperation in his tone. “Y/N? Where are you my love?”

“Out here, Marcus,” I replied listlessly, barely raising my voice as I knew he could hear me. I was mentally and physically drained from the emotional upheaval of the day and made no real effort to emerge from my safe little hiding spot. I could hear how upset I had made him, and I was unsure if I could face him just then.

“My darling!” He cried, finally spotting me and speeding quickly to my side. His eyes quickly scanned me for injury. “Where have you been, little one? I couldn’t find you.”

I looked down at my hands as I answered him, too afraid to look into his eyes. “I’ve been here, Marcus. All day.”

“But why, tresoro?” He took my hands in his. “Did you not want to meet our guests? Many of them came here just to see you.” I could tell he was disappointed in me and my heart broke just a little bit more.

“I-I-I… did want to…” I stammered, “But I couldn’t. There was no way for me to get into the throne room, Marcus. I was left behind,” I concluded quietly, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.

“Left behind?” He questioned.

“Yes.” I paused. “How long, Marcus?” I asked dejectedly.

“How long for what, Y/N? I don’t understand.”

“How long did it take for you to realize I wasn’t there with you, Marcus? 2 hours? 4?”

He closed his eyes as it finally started to sink in. “Y/N, I’m…”

“Disappointed in me?” I whispered. “I understand. I’m sorry, Marcus. I have not been a very good mate to you today, and I have shamed you. I understand why you and the others did not look for me. I have not been an asset to the family.” Tears streamed freely down my face as I tried to apologize for my shortcomings.

“Y/N, no. Please don’t cry.” Marcus begged, crouching down to my level as he tried to comfort me. “It is I who should apologize. It is my duty to look out for you and to protect you. I have failed in that today; I should have remembered you needed help with the steps. There were so many people, and I got caught up….”

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore.” I interrupted with a sob. “No one came for me all day, and I thought I had done something wrong! Maybe I have become too much of a burden on you..”

“Never, amore!” He said with conviction, bending his head low to kiss my hands.

“But it’s true, Marcus! I know it is! Every day you are forced to do things you would never typically do, all because of me,” I said sadly. “You’re the King of Volterra, Marcus! And I have you spending your days babysitting me. You help me in and out of bed; you help me dress; hell, you’ve even had to help me in the shower a time or two! You’re forced to carry me around this castle all day long - and my wheelchair - because I can’t even get myself to the kitchen to feed myself. I’m asking you for too much, and I don’t want you to resent me for it.” My tears were hot and burned my cheeks as they continued to fall. “I’m sorry for disappointing you.”

“Oh, Y/N,” he soothed. “Come here, darling.” He scooped me out of my wheelchair and into his arms, hugging me tightly to his chest. “Y/N, my heart, I love you! More than anything in the world. You are my mate, and I do all of those things you mentioned before because I want to. I am honored that you allow me to help you throughout the day, and you could never be a burden to me. If anyone should be apologizing here, it should be me! I disappointed you today, and I am sincerely sorry for that. I never want you to feel left behind or unwanted again, and I will spend the rest of our eternity making up for my error today. I will also speak to our contractor about adding some wheelchair ramps where we can and an elevator as well. I should have done so long ago.” He wiped my tears away with the sleeve of his robe. “Can you forgive me, sweetheart? I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I nodded slowly against his chest, taking in deep, ragged breaths in an attempt to calm my feelings. I love him so much that not forgiving him was never really an option for me. After a long time, I spoke to him again.

“Marcus?” I asked quietly. “Do you think things will be different… after you change me?”

He smiled at me, gently moving some stray hair out of my eyes before he spoke. He sighed softly, resting his forehead against my own. “I don’t know for sure, my precious one. We have seen vampire venom heal a number of injuries and ailments in the past, sometimes even snatching someone back from the brink of death, like dear Jane and Alec. Every change is different, darling. I want you to know, however, that no matter what the outcome of yours, Y/N, I will always love you and will work to keep you by my side forever.”

“The world’s first vampire in a wheelchair.” I scoffed. “Some claim to fame.”

“How about ‘Queen of Volterra, Mate of King Marcus’ for a claim to fame?” He suggested, gazing at me adoringly.

“That could work,” I giggled, moving to bring our lips together in a tender kiss. “I’m sorry I let my anxiety get the best of me, Marcus.”

“And I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me, my darling girl. Now, I know it’s late, but we need to get some food for you, and then I believe I can come up with some more… creative ways to apologize to you. Interested?”

“Always.”

The end

[writingrenna]

Grusha x GN!Reader

"Descent to Reality"

A story where you're a well-meaning, if not reckless student going down the Victory Road path who befriends Grusha along the way. As usual, you're a gender neutral reader

Also, for once, you have a named Pokémon; an overprotective Falinks! You also like steel Pokémon (not specifically steel type, but Pokémon with steel elements like armor or metallic bodies or whatever)

Your relationship with Grusha is full of banter and genuine care

Accidentally became a whole thing. You'll see

Tone/Ending: Angsty, Sweet, Hinting at a Budding Relationship

Warnings: You are both dealing with mental illnesses, but it is what it is. Grusha has a panic attack at one point, and you recognize some stuff in your own behavior

Word Count: A bit less than 5,000

--v-Vv-

You walk up to the mouth of Dalizapa Passage on your way to Glaseado Mountain. Your brief stop in Zapapico prepared you for this trek, getting some rest and gathering whatever you'd need up in the blistering summits.

You look down at your trusty sidekick Falinks with a smile.

"Ya'll ready for this?"

The six of them all stood in formation, letting out a short yet mighty battle cry. Your smile broadened into a bright grin at this.

"Good to hear! I know that blue-haired bully will be a BREEZE for you all!"

You were joking of course, but that still didn't stop you from freezing when you heard his voice.

"Blue-haired bully, eh? Heartbreaking, how could you be so cruel?"

You turn to see him, hands in his pockets with his Cetoddle by his side, a cane slung over its shoulder in a cross-body bag. He had one eyebrow raised despite his amusement, feigning offense.

"Oh, speaking of- hey, Grusha!"

He walks closer toward you.

"I take it you're ready to face my gym?"

He tuts under his scarf.

"Bold. You know I've only gotten harder to beat after that champion came through, right?"

You scoff at him, crossing your arms and tossing your head back, eyes closed.

"And so have I. That kid getting so strong so fast only raised the standards of the entire region!"

Grusha nods, looking down at the ground momentarily before continuing.

"Well, in any case, you're gonna need to give me a bit of time. Really don't feel like starting a battle the second I get back up there."

You nod at him, understanding completely.

"Yeah, don't worry, this benefits us both. You get some time to yourself, and I get to train some more on the way up. Might as well prepare for yet another defeat while you're up there waiting for me."

His faces briefly flashes with a strange emotion you couldn't quite pinpoint, but he shakes it off.

"Ah, that confidence will certainly be your downfall. But I must admit, I'd almost admire it if it wasn't so misplaced."

Your face contorted to one of genuine offense for a few seconds, mouth hanging open and eyebrows knitted together as your Falinks looked up at you in worry. Grusha didn't even give you time to respond before taking his leave, waving as he walked by.

"Well then, I guess I'll be seeing you, if you're not still frozen in place, that is. Be sure not to die on the way up, okay?"

They get a good ways up the path when you finally snap out of it. You turn towards him, yelling out a rebuttal that causes even a lurking Sneasel nearby to turn to you in shock.

"T-try me!"

Neither he nor his Cetoddle pay you any mind.

--v-Vv-

Falinks wrecked mayhem on Glaseado Mountain, taking down quite a few mons with ease. You excitedly registered a few new ones to your Pokédex, even deciding to add a Bronzong to the secondary team you were planning in boxes.

"Huh. Guess I like Pokémon with a lot of steel!" You muse to yourself, looking at Falinks and thinking about a Charcadet you planned on using for said team. Falinks responded, dancing a little together with happy little expressions on their faces.

No matter what, you'd always keep them on your team.

You hear a noise that snaps you out of your happy thoughts. A little cry coming from lower down the mountainside. You walk over towards the edge of the cliff you were on to see-

"A SNOM!?"

Snom had actually eluded you during your entire trip up the mountain. Heck, even some Greavard, with their little tricks to stay hidden, were found by you. Did you just... not notice the little thing? Were you going through so fast it blended in with it's surroundings?

You shook your head.

"Okay, Falinks! I'm going down."

The group of Pokémon by your side looked down the mountainside for a second, glanced at the nearby path, and then looked back up at you, completely silent save for the clinking of their shells.

Odd.

You simply pulled out their Pokéball and called them back inside. It was easier to simply slide down so you don't lose the Snom, but you didn't want them getting hurt or separated in the process.

You hype yourself up, being pulled back by your rotom phone the first try, before carefully planting your feet and sliding down. It was... steep, especially near the end (which was essentially just an abrupt drop), but you managed, landing right beside the tiny ice larvae.

You reach for the Pokéball of another member of the team, one who didn't have a huge type advantage over it.

"AH-huh?"

The familiar glow of a Pokémon emerging from its Pokéball came into view, but when it settled, you saw... Falinks?

You then realize your hand is simply hovering over your belt.

Strange.

Why did they come out on their own?

They look up at where you just slid from (which was certainly more than a story or two) before quickly looking back to you. You're still as a statue, taking in the obvious concern on their faces as they look up to you, chirping softly as if asking if you're Ok. Before you know it, Snom has run off, but you're far more concerned with your little army.

"I- Falinks?"

They keep staring at you when you feel someone's hands clamp down on your shoulders.

"You."

The voice is low yet forceful, dragging out the word slightly, causing you to jolt.

"Grusha?"

"What on earth was that?"

His voice. It was... authoritative.

"Gru... sha?"

You can't seem to understand what it is exactly he's trying to point out. He continues.

"I saw that. WHY would you risk it all for a- a SNOM of all things? It's like you've done this before! Have you??"

Risk... it all...

His arms are shaking as he forces himself to continue.

"And to think, I thought you hearing my story would make you less reckless. Was I a fool? A fool to hope you'd ever think past the moment? I wasn't even doing anything to- I wasn't supposed to be- but you just... y-you could've-"

He rips his hands away from you in an instant. You take this opportunity to turn around and look at him.

His chest had started heaving heavily as his breaths came out sharp, frequent. He abruptly pulled his scarf down, eyes unfocused and darting back and forth over a fixed point somewhere past you, trying to focus on something, anything. His body swayed slightly as he stumbled back to lean against a rock.

Cetoddle is already trying to gently redirect his attention from the situation, sitting him down and laying next to him, giving him time to steady his breathing while leaning against him, reaching over and rubbing the arm opposite it to ensure it holds him tight.

You don't know what to do. Cetoddle seems to already know what it's doing, and you aren't sure you'd be of much help.

"...are you okay...?

He let out one large breath before looking up at the sky, closing his eyes and mumbling something you can't quite hear to himself a few times.

You give him space, but you decide to stay put.

His breathing calms down a little after a while, right hand coming out of his pocket. His Cetoddle took this hand and sandwhiched it in its flippers, looking at him and trilling softly to see if he was Ok.

His breathing is shallow, but stable as he nods, glancing at you before gulping down a breath and standing up to follow the terra whale, letting Cetoddle lead him back up the path without another word, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

--v-Vv-

You're lying in bed at the Zapapico Inn. Your eyes are glued to your phone, although you aren't sure what you're expecting. The feeling of dread had your insides tangled in a death grip, a pang of guilt shooting through you whenever you remembered your carelessness, his disappointment...

The terror in his eyes.

And you felt even more guilty once you realized you didn't fully understand what he went through.

You sigh, looking at Falinks on the ground staring up at you. They seemed to sense something was off, so they kept watch. You couldn't help but think about their weird behavior yesterday, however. Sure, they were usually worried about your shenanigans, but why did they seem to be... distracting you, purposefully staring you down without making an effort to communicate so you wouldn't move?

"...you saw him coming, didn't you?"

They all, for once, stop their march, freezing in place at this question. That was all the answer you needed, but when they all looked to the floor in shame, a misplaced feeling of betrayal crept up and got thrown into the mix.

"Of course!"

You turn over, refusing to acknowledge the fact that your good friend Grusha, as well as your trusty companions all felt that you were too thoughtless this time around.

Falinks' concern is valid. They were right to basically call you out on it, to get you caught. In fact, if you didn't feel so... at fault, you'd appreciate this more, seeing that they cared for you as an individual, and not just as that person that caught them.

But no, you felt... dumb.

Curling up in bed a little, you felt a few tears fall. The sound of your Falinks jumping up and running around the bed to comfort you rang out in your ears, but you didn't pay them any mind. You didn't pay anything any mind, really. Was this just how you were? Ignoring everything and hoping things would turn out alright? Would Falinks grow tired of you? Did Grusha already give up on you?

You take a hesitant peek at them, feeling the brass reach out and gently rub your hand. They were in their tower formation, looking up at you in worry.

The sound of your phone vibrating caught your attention. You pick it up, looking at the latest notification.

Grusha

Come by tmrw, if u want

--v-Vv-

You walk into the arena. Very few people were here, but they all seemed excited. That's normal.

What isn't normal, however, is Grusha looking out onto the horizon on the other side of the battle court, the Great Crater of Paldea in full view. That isn't his usual spot...

"I see you decided to show up. Brave choice."

He said the things he'd usually say, but his tone was flat. Not forced, but devoid of energy.

You frowned. Did he... not want you to show up?

He turned, walking to his spot and looking at you.

"I'll be real here. I don't really know how to start this battle, so let's just get our Pokémon to do the talking, okay?"

And with that, he sent out his Frosmoth.

--v-Vv-

It was a tough battle. He wasn't kidding when he said he got stronger. But you and your Falinks, your last mon standing, were still in the running to victory.

"I'm impressed! You really seemed to learn a lot on your journey so far. You're quite a fighter."

That compliment felt... off. He continued, ignoring your visible confusion.

"But that doesn't matter. You may have escaped an icy doom before, but like a sudden hail storm in the summer, the avalanche of defeat may often... sneak up on you."

He charged up his Terra Orb before throwing it, engulfing Altaria in a crystal that shone like the stars. When she broke out, you shielded your eyes, only to prematurely pry them open again when you heard a gasp from the crowd.

Altaria has Terastallized into a pure- flying type?

"Wha- hey! Grusha!"

Your eyes are wide and panicked. His are just full of sadness.

"I-I thought... you always do stuff like that. I don't know if you bother to remember, but the mountain thing isn't the only needlessly dangerous stunt you've pulled during the time I've known you alone. I can't imagine what you did before we met to embolden you so much."

You're too stunned to speak.

"I thought, maybe, I could ignore it. I was always able to brush it off as you not putting yourself in any real danger. 'The other students do wild things all the time, it's normal!' But no, this is your life now. And if halting your journey for a bit... if making a show of this is what it takes to get through to you, then so be it."

"Grusha... but... is this allowed? I know- how wrong it is. I'll be nothing but careful from now on, I promise! Just don't lose your job over this, it's all you have left!"

And with this comment, he goes from stone cold and serious to- limp. His arms slump for a second, looking away from you, fighting back the urge to break down before he lowers his head, shaking it without responding.

Well... shaking his head 'no' is a response. Just not one you're emotionally ready to deal with right now.

You can barely make a noise. Even your mighty warriors flinch when you somehow manage to command them to use... something. What was it? Who knows. It didn't matter now.

He shouts his command, arm shooting up with gusto, head still hanging low.

"Altaria, Hurricane!"

And in an instant, your Falinks are blown back, knocked out in one violent flurry of wind and frost.

--v-Vv-

You're too dazed to do anything, arms feeling heavy as you look down at your little friends all strewn about on the battle court. You're on your knees. When did that happen? Your head is swimming with so many questions and concepts as you recall your Falinks.

You stare out in front of you, looking down at the icy ground below you.

Grusha is escorted away by his worried Cetoddle, ignoring the crowd's hushed whispers and bewildered stares.

You don't know what to do. You don't know what to think.

How the hell will you make up for this? Worrying him so much he put his whole career on the line to get you to see reason? To get you to take him seriously?

--v-Vv-

You sat across from the man, his expression never changing as he took in your tale. You somehow managed to catch him on his lunch break, a man very close to La Primera when it comes to public facing figures in the league. He knows who you are, so he decided to let you talk in a private corner of the Treasure Eatery.

"S-so, yeah. That's why he did it, from my perspective. He was tired of me getting in danger and decided to show me it was hurting others, too. For that, I am sorry. But PLEASE don't punish him because of me! Isn't that a good thing? The league looking out for the people of Paldea, no matter the risk?"

He slowly chewed the last bite in his mouth, swallowing it before responding.

"I'm afraid it isn't up to me. The chairwoman is already well aware of this incident. Whether he's let go or not depends on many factors outside of anyone's control."

You knew you'd most likely get an answer like that, but it didn't stop you from tearing up. He looks at you with pity in his eyes for a split second before adjusting his tie and speaking to you, expression back to its usual indifference.

"I know- it's disappointing. I've come to respect him quite a bit during his time in the league. He took what life could offer him and aimed as high as he could go. Despite not being able to chase his greatest ambitions and fearing any more loss, he never let his circumstances keep him down there when the accident happened..."

He paused.

"For him to risk it all, he must really love you. No matter the outcome, you're worth it, to him."

And with that, your loose tears become a full-fledged sob, leaning over the table and resting your head in your hands.

"But... but WHY!?"

He leaned in slightly.

"He once admitted to Ryme and me that he appreciates you sticking by and actually liking him despite his 'moodiness'. He also told some of us at a group event that he admires the fact that you can keep up with and match his sarcasm. Small, or odd as it may seem, things like that can make the heart grow fonder, can thaw even the coldest of hearts."

You look up at the man. His expression stayed static, but you swear you see a glimmer of some foreign light in his eyes.

'He must be a sucker for romance...' You idly thought.

Oh, seems like you're able to think your usual unhinged thoughts again.

Wait. Romance?

You decide to ignore this thought.

"But, wait... Larry, I..."

You didn't actually have anything to say, but...

"Is he... is he alright?"

He took a moment to respond.

"...last I heard, he said he did what he had to, but didn't elaborate on his feelings."

"Ah."

Sounds like him.

You simply hung your head.

"...I'm sorry."

He glanced at a watch under his sleeve, but he decided to offer one last word of advice.

"I'm not here to tell you off or warn you to be more careful, I'm sure you've had plenty of time to realize that yourself. But he never gave up on you. Even if you feel like what you did was unforgivable, he doesn't, so take charge and do what's best, because what's best for you is best for him, too."

"Bu-but, wh-what if that was his last a-act? What if he plans on abandoning me now that I'm at m-my w- or-orss-st?"

"Well, everyone has the right to call it quits, but I doubt that was his goal going in. Either way, offer him the chance to talk it out. What he decides to do then is up to him, but please, either way, don't punish yourself over this forever. The past can't be changed, but the future is meant to be built upon the lessons of today."

You take this answer in. He's right. He deserves the opportunity to say what he needs to, even if that thing might shatter your world. Because sometimes, you have to do something scary, like face someone you've hurt, intentionally or not.

You sigh before offering up a weak smile.

"Thanks, Larry. Really, you've helped a lot."

He stands up, adjusting his tie one more time before grabbing his suitcase.

"I only wish I could help more. I will bring this up with La Primera, but sadly, I cannot go into more details on internal affairs even if you're directly involved in it. You will have to wait for the outcome. I wish you and Grusha good luck, though."

He then nods and departs.

--v-Vv-

It has been three weeks since that fateful gym battle.

You walk up to the gilded doorplate. A neutral meeting spot was arranged for you and Grusha to talk. Ryme was kind enough to let him use her VIP pass to reserve some time in the private room of a restaurant she frequents. It's secluded, neither of you come here (at least, if he ever has, he doesn't come enough to talk about it), and you'd never stumble upon it by just existing in the world, thus not accidentally rousing bad feelings or memories in either of you.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and gently knocked.

You hear the familiar sound of a Cetoddle's cry.

You grip the handle and look down at your own Pokémon, who were standing in a 'V' shaped formation.

You know they love you, but you can't help but look into their little eyes and feel the urge to apologize yet again for something they've already well and truly forgiven you for- out of fear that they resent you.

You shake off this feeling, opening the door.

This is it.

You walk through, letting them all in as well before closing the door.

You pause for a second, kind of afraid to look at him.

But you power through.

Your stomach flips when you spot him at a large floor-to-ceiling window, looking out onto the icy landscape and crashing ocean waves in the far off distance.

He looked so serene despite the circumstances. As if he belongs here, amongst all this beauty and prestige.

Standing here, you felt like a poser.

You can't help but smile, however, imagining Ryme booking him this reservation just to make a tough conversation a little easier. Just so he wouldn't stumble upon a place of bad memories. She always had a soft spot for him.

At least you know for sure he'll still have her, even if he's-

The sound of your name snaps you out of it.

"Wh-wha?"

"I was saying 'hi'." He replied. You immediately feel bad for spacing out at the greeting, of all things.

"I'm- I, s-sorry-"

"Chill out, this isn't easy for me either."

You heart sank. Was he going to...?

"I get it, if you don't have your head on straight right now. I didn't expect you to come in all cold and calculated or anything."

He was being far more considerate than you'd expect someone to be in this situation.

'What situation? Who else is going through this?'

You shook that thought off. Not helpful.

"Okay, so, um... wow, I uh..."

He took a moment to see if you'd add on to this.

"Hm, I see. Glad to hear."

You feel a quirk of the lip at that remark, but you refused to smile when someone you hurt needed to hear a proper apology.

At least his sarcasm is still intact.

"Sorry, lemme try again. I'm sorry I'm always so reckless. I knew you were worried about me, but I just thought I could... I thought everything would just be okay, that if I do crazy stuff but stay careful enough, I wouldn't get hurt. But, you're right. The risk isn't worth it. And for that, I apologize, for always toeing that line despite your warnings."

He takes your statement in.

"Okay. Thanks for that."

Your face scrunches up a bit. That's it?

"Wh-"

You can't believe it. He hasn't added onto this statement yet.

"...that's... that's all you have to say??"

His posture loosened all at once as he let out a drawn-out sigh. You didn't even realize he was tense.

With a shake of his head, he says "Gimme a second to think, will you?"

You tense up, waving your hands defensively despite the fact that he's still turned away.

"Ah! Sorry!"

He lets out a huff in response. You give him time to mull over what he wants to say.

"Alright, look. I don't want this to be a big... 'thing', alright?"

He does quotes with his fingers, which you can still tell despite his mittens.

"We don't need a big, emotional, blow-up argument to settle this. Trust me, I don't have the time for stuff like that."

He then hung his head momentarily before finally turning to you. He looked somewhat tired, although you refused to look him in the eyes right now.

"I just want to know why. Why are you always so reckless?"

You pause. You... truthfully never thought about it. You idly wondered what it was like being in his head, what it was in his mind that made him so worried about things you didn't give a second thought to. Why he looks back on things he experienced and feels so strongly about them when you usually just move on, or why you have to dig so deep down inside yourself to understand why your mind or actions react to things in the ways that they do when you don't even actively connect the dots. Why you-

That's when it hit you.

"I..."

Your eyes were wide, looking down at the ground.

"I guess I just don't process fear the way most people do. Like, I don't get alarmed by danger as badly as most people. Even now, I..."

You pause. You were definitely going to have to unpack this later. Were you less mentally sound than you thought you were? You got through life just fine, but something that's so inate in most people eluded you. But right now, we're talking about your recklessness.

You take a mental note to thank Grusha for this confrontation later, whether it's to him directly, or just as a part of the story on how you figured yourself out.

"...well, I know things are dangerous, but I guess it doesn't click with me to avoid them."

He... stared at you. You were worried he was put off by this epiphany.

"I see."

You didn't know what this meant, so you met his tired eyes again to get some clarification.

"Does... that mean you don't wanna be around me anymore...?"

He sighed heavily.

"No, of course not. I'm not dumping you over this. It's just... more context for your behavior."

You smile. Genuinely, and against your will. You've only just now realized there might be a reason why you're always so reckless and #unbothered, but it felt nice, having him accept you, when before people would just leave you to your own devices and not bother trying.

"Okay, cool."

You let out a sigh of relief. He took your expression in.

"You know, your health is important. I take my mental and physical health very seriously, as you can see here."

He gestures toward Cetoddle.

"Just having Falinks around seems to keep your spirits up. But that's your journey, and this is mine. I'd like to know ways to help you, though. Would you consider going to therapy to at least see if that suits you? It could be a great start for you in unpacking everything."

You considered this. Maybe therapy could help your transition into... understanding exactly what it is your brain did while being wired in the womb? You were strangely Ok with all this, despite having the realization of a lifetime. Man, more reason why you should get this checked out.

"Yeah, that sounds alright. I'd like that."

He nods.

"Cool cool. Glad to finally be getting somewhere with you."

You freeze.

Oh, right. The whole reason you were here.

Oh no!

"Your job!"

He flinched, closing one eye.

"Ah. Yes, that. Well, I still have it, but... I am currently in a sort of probationary period."

Your heart did something weird in your chest.

"I... see."

You looked down.

The uncertainty was the worst part to you.

"I'm sorry, Grusha. I'm sorry about your job. I'm sorry I pushed you so far. I'm sorry I didn't see how much my actions affected people, how much risk I was putting on myself..."

He waved a hand up a little.

"Well, it worked, didn't it?" Is all he could say.

--v-Vv-

You grabbed your order, thanking the lady that gave you the ice cream cones before turning back to him, the both of you sitting in a quiet spot of Porto Marinada with your Pokémon.

"Here ya go, Gru!"

He glared at you before accepting it.

"Thanks..." He slowly intoned, although you can tell he doesn't mean it.

You sat next to him before abruptly feeling a wave of sadness wash over you.

You still felt terrible, but you wished you could feel terrible in a way that made sense.

Ah well.

"I'm sorry, Grusha. For everything."

"We're cool."

"I-"

You lick your cone before deciding it's too much effort to really try and eat it right now.

"I'm sorry you... got me at my 'finna be my worst'..."

"..."

"...and also right before my 'oh my Gods I'm mentally ill' thing, gotta be rough dealing with all this at once, right?"

He doesn't say anything right away, deep in thought, before turning to you and responding.

"Look, you are who you are, and I liked you before, right? I never expected perfection. Knowing what's going on with you is only a positive."

He turns away from you.

"As long as you steer away from the self-destructive stuff when you're aware it's bad, we'll be good. And I know you're self-aware, even if you don't always understand or trust that awareness. You'll keep figuring things out, and I'll stick by you. Through thick and thin, alright?"

You smile. You know he means it. You know he'll always be there, despite how messy you are, because he loves you. Even without ever saying it, you know.

So you promise to be good to yourself every step of the way. And when you're good to yourself, you're good to him. Because you as you are is enough for him. And because he accepts you, no matter what you realize, no matter where your journey happens to take you, because you are you. Every little thing you've done made the you of today, and every little thing you do today will begin to shape the you of tomorrow. The good, the bad, the tragic, the triumphant, every zig-zag and straight line and wave, that's you. That is what he wants. He wants YOU, the full experience.

As weird as that thought was (maybe even being unable to articulate yourself was a symptom?), you know one thing for certain;

He wouldn't change a thing about you, because you're you.

A/N

Was originally gonna be a story where Falinks doesn't understand your relationship with Grusha and are protective when it comes to him, but then it went into a totally different direction...

Can you tell I can't articulate myself well? Can you also tell I'm #mentallyill? I won't say what it is exactly, but at least I can pull from my own experiences when writing. I apologize if every expy seems emotionally stunted, though, I don't know how a "normal" person thinks, but I'll try my best!

The mention of him having a cane at the beginning seemed random, but I'll get deeper into that later if I write for these two more

Also, if I write more for this expy, what if their Falinks are named Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum, Hum, and Drum, with Drum being the brass? Could be cute. They'd be going for a rhyme, not saying they're boring. Plus, drum, rhythm, keeping in time, military drum for the troopers, it works, Hum could be the one in the very back

PLEASE FORGIVE ANY MISTAKES I WAS WRITING THIS IN A M O O D BUT I LIKE THE STORY REGARDLESS LMAO