#and being the one at fault BECAUSE im disabled

[catfishofoldin99colours]

I had the most horrendous afternoon and all I want to do is play Minecraft and watch my silly little videos but I can't do that because my fucking laptop is broken

[comfycozycrossfox]

.

the general opinion i have on mobility devices/tools is that if you want one you should just get one and there isnt like, a threshold to where youre ALLOWED to get a cane or whatever

the exception, of course, being ✨myself✨

[simptasia]

mum and i were almost not able to buy our house because a real estate lawyer heard us casually say i'm autistic and alarm bells went off in her head, because she believed that meant i wasn't mentally capable of understanding what i was signing up for

[caffeinatedopossum]

Tw rant

My greatest fear is my own negligence. I'm so scared something will happen- something to someone I love or something important to them. And I will watch it destroyed, frozen by fear or not having the knowledge or reaction time to do anything.

I feel like people I love are going to die. I feel like I have to prepare myself for it even. Sometimes I almost think I *want* them to die just because the fear is too much. Of course I desperately don't want that, that's the whole point. It's a vicious cycle and I just feel so trapped and helpless.

[todayisafridaynight]

So I’ve asked this before, but it didn’t get answered (at least I don’t think) and I think the problem was the wording so I’ll ask it like this. Who’s more deplorable Jo or Ryo, the father or the son, chairmen or Governor?

oh piss sorry tumblr mighta eaten it the first time :( but uhhhh cant go wrong with saying a politician’s more evil right 💀💀

[chrisevansonly]

𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜

✯social media au

✯what’s better than marrying your fiancée and then surprising the world?

✯another charles because i can’t help it lol

y/n’sinsta added to their story!

comments

my favs are in lake como 😍😍

DO I SMELL WEDDING VIBES?!

i wonder what the two love birds are doing in lake como….

best vacation spot ever!!!

y/nleclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, vogueitalia, francisca.cgomes and 5M others

pour toujours me semble parfait, je t'aime sans fin♥️

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username I KNEW IT I KNEW IT😭😭

username look at them!!! IM SCREAMING

username y/n looks so beautiful 🥹

francisca.cgomes the most perfect weekend and wedding ever love you both so much ❤️❤️

>pierregasly was perfect until you ditched me on the dance floor..

>y/nleclerc not my fault you suck at dancing frenchy😗

username AHAHA PIERRE

arthurleclerc so happy for you both❤️

liked by charles_leclerc and y/nleclerc

charles_leclerc je t’aime tellement chérie, so grateful to have you as my wife❤️❤️

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charles_leclerc

liked by y/nleclerc, apmmonaco, carlossainz55 and 6M others

I am the luckiest man alive to call you my wife, y/n you are nothing short of brilliant, beautiful and kind. you brought so much light and love into my life at a time i needed it most. you are the sun to my moon, the stars to my sky, and the answer to all of my questions and prayers. there is no one else who is so perfect for me, and I’ll continue to love you for as long as i can. thank you for for being my best friend, my partner and now my wife.

je t’aime tellement chérie, tu as tout mon cœur♥️

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username i couldn’t even make it through the caption without crying😭

username charles being the biggest sap for y/n😭

landonorris mate…cmon now

>carlossainz55 i’m crying too dw

>alexalbon 🥹🥹🥹

username I CANNOT

landonorris so pick me, choose me!

>y/nleclerc pop off meredith grey

lilyhme omfg😭😭

>y/nleclerc i know 😭

y/nleclerc charles i love you so much, you have my whole heart and soul forever. you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i’m so grateful and thankful i get to call you my husband. thank you for making me cry all weekend, je t’aime, je t’aime, je t’aime…

liked by charles_leclerc

>charles_leclerc♥️♥️

y/nleclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt, scuderiaferrari and 1M others

little details from the best day of my life ♥️

tagged charles_leclerc

username omg the custom lace?!

username the way it says ‘hot wives club’

carmenmmundt everything was so stunning 🤍🤍

liked by y/nleclerc

username this weekend looked like a dream!!

charles_leclerc let’s do it all over again amour ♥️

>y/nleclerc same time next weekend?

>landonorris I CANT CRY AGAIN NO

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y/nleclerc added to their story!

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y/nleclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, F1 and 998,000 others

honeymoon vibes only, sorry for not answering our phones, we’ve been busy😁

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username HAHAHA BABY LECLERC INCOMING

>y/nleclerc @/charles_leclerc 😁😁😁

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username y/n dropping hints to charles already😭

username my favs!!

username greece looks so good on charles

danielriccardo there are kids on this app…

>y/nleclerc don’t worry lando’s not here 😌

>landonorris HEY!

>landonorris for the record i am scarred for life

>charles_leclerc good.

username poor lando💀💀

[traaanskimkitsuragi]

alright im giving up on 7c fuck this

[sharpedgedfool]

This turned into a huge amount of words my bad, im on mobile and can't figure out how to do the read more bit sorry yall

But I have a huge hc that shadow can't see screens the same cause his eyes work differently and he doesn't have the rgb colour cone things that most mobians have

He doesn't do well at video games or with computers and it frustrated him cause he blamed himself for not being able to process the visual information fast enough, but eventually Rouge realises he's struggling with basic stuff like reading things on a screen and without the competitivness he admits he can't see things properly but he sees words fine on paper, so he knows its screen related

After a while they get their hands on colour correcting glasses for him that work with his alien eyes and he's absolutely gutted that he'd spent so much time blaming himself

One of the first things he lets himself open up to Rouge and Omega about and it sorta opens the floodgates of 'what else have I been getting angry at myself for something out of my control' and he begins to work through the internalised shit that was put in his head during the ARK where he was supposed to be 'perfect' so he assumed that it was his own fault if he wasn't able to do something and he just 'wasn't trying hard enough'

But he's has so many things that he's repressed or hidden just because they didn't fit this narrative of 'perfection' set up by people who were narrow-minded to begin with and he struggles with letting himself just exist with these 'flaws' cause it was drilled into him so much that he wasn't supposed to be anything less than perfect or otherwise he's a failed experiment.

(projecting hard here lmao) but the concept of the 'ultimate lifeform' being disabled and beyond social norms while still being fully worthy of that title, and reaching full acceptance of themselves and becoming even more powerful after they let themselves exist above what other people want them to be is a very healing thing to explore, and a very specific type of freedom that i think is important to write for a character that narratively has had very little freedom.

Sonics whole thing is fighting for freedom from Eggman in a physical fight, but Shadow's version of freedom is freeing themselves from expectations and self-doubt, its more of a mental fight.

While Sonic advocates for fairness and equality, Shadows already been treated unfairly and is having to undo a lot of the things that were done to him that now other people are trying to prevent, and theres a sense of grief about that that I think Shadow is a great opportunity to explore that narrative.

[vampirevatican]

Milgram and The Court of Public Opinion.

this analysis will be about milgram's voting system, nuance and a whole lot of my own opinions mixed with eng fandoms translations, theories, and observations.

t1 = trial one / t2 = trial two

mv = music video

vd = video drama

voting and verdicts:

voting forgiven/unforgiven or innocent/guilty from the standards milgram sets for us (including es) isn't enough or easy.

being that milgram is set towards the court of public opinion and judgement can come from:

"sensibility, morality, ethics, legality, preference, taste, or sexual inclination..."

we end up arguing semantics, trying to find specifics in the crimes and making the best judgement possible. although in doing that the only conclusion anyone can come to is innocent when all is considered.

if we were doing it based on guilty and innocent then 5 are guilty, 2 are guilty on technicality and 3 are innocent

just in case you're curious, in guilty to innocent order as i just stated.

haruka, muu, amane, mikoto, kotoko, shido, fuuta, kazui, mahiru and yuno

it'd be over so quickly. but this... is milgram.

nuance/the grey area:

as the undercover song says, can you really judge them?

002. yuno, as for now, doesn't have a reason. ofc in western (american specifically) public opinion or at least those who view abortion as a choice. she's been innocent from the start. this is her autonomy, her choice, even if she's 18. i won't deny she is so young to be doing sex work, or more specifically compensated dating, and yes it may be common in japan but that doesn't take away the age being factored into what she decided to do. it wasn't for money and she has a good home life. with how analytical and cold she can be, im assuming her desire to be loved in this way comes from somewhere and she's become jaded towards actual relationships. opting for the material and superficial. even without pitying her, she'd still be forgiven/innocent since t1.

001. haruka did it for attention. with how he's coded - intellectual disability - and his mother being extremely neglectful after a certain age which prevented the possibility of his growth in intellect (understanding cause and effect/actions and consequences, along with many other things) it's easier to claim he's innocent. even more easier to forgive him due to this and extremely so if looking at it from his view point, albeit flawed. killing = attention = "affection", even if that attention/"affection" is negative it what he wanted. for someone, anyone to acknowledge him. he's innocent/forgiven because of his circumstances but if he's forgiven then he's being told it was his only option, and he was right, when the fault is on his mother.

003. fuuta was only trying to call out liars and scumbags. he is well versed in the court of public opinion, but he has never seen or experienced a result that lead to someone's death. looking at the undercover mv, then we can see he possibly doxxed his victim. if we take a nuanced approach here then we'd be looking at how he feels after the fact. he remembers the victims name, the fear in his eyes in his t1 and t2 mv, his voice drama after the first trial, him not approving of violence as a solution are all evidence of him feeling horrible. if he could go back, if he would've known. sure he did question why he's there instead of the people who actually killed the victim, but he also recognizes that he lead the charge. his innocence/forgiveness comes in the form of recognizing his actions were wrong. him being guilty/unforgiven is the action in itself.

004. muu is a love/attention reason. she's always been adored, admired, and cherished. she's always had her way. she also has never had to face heavy adversity. sure she was a bully, the queen bee, and a drama queen but didn't her school's culture allow her that? infact with us/es forgiving her, in the second trial song she claims as such, she'll always be queen. and for the t1 mv she says, "my 'im sorry' spells aren't working anymore." which leads me to believe that she's cried and apologized so many times that her old friends couldn't believe her. not forgiving her affirms to her that "two wrongs don't make a right" but forgiving her says the opposite to her. if she's to be forgiven/innocent the blame is tossed to the school, not her, but she won't see it that way.

006. mahiru is another love case, romantic, and in a roundabout way she never committed a crime in the first place. from the voice drama and interrogation q&a slips, we find out that she's a sheltered girl and loves/idolizes soap opera and shoujo mangas. from her mv's we see she romanticizes everything, especially with her t1 mv. she's innocent because of not actually committing murder and forgiven because this is her first love, she wouldn't have known that it was toxic and messed up.

005. shido is a love case, but for family. im thinking son because of a theory i saw, but either way when looking at it with nuance it gets heavier here. is taking from brain dead patients to save someone wrong? are the brain dead really dead? in my opinion yes, but that's the crux of the situation right? same goes for all the other inmates in this court of public opinion. he can be innocent from the view point that brain dead patients are already dead, and forgiven for his motive.

007. kazui did it in hopes of a dream, righting a mistake, being free. although he deeply regrets it, although he says he loves his wife? that love is mainly platonic. from his second trial mv, we see that he met her through his job - most likely police officer - so they had some kind of amicable relationship through their job. he only married her out of societal obligation, and noticing she liked him. not to mention in his t1 mv he says he messed up from the beginning. he is innocent because his crime is indirect, and forgiven because being gay isn't a crime and the regret he feels shows he never had negative intentions.

008. amane did it out of obligation. now, listen to me. i know she's literally 12 and was raised in a cult but notice how im stating the motive of each of these as they are from being stated in vd or pure observations from the mv's. now to any grown up it's self defense, but also imagine having gone through the worst hell imaginable all because you did something "wrong" stated by the adults around you. wouldn't the revenge be sweet? justice in its purest form. now take that and double it down with what you were taught. amane is not only forgiven/innocent because she was just a child, but because of the circumstances surrounding the murder.

009. mikoto (miko from here on) did it out of pent up stress an emotions, in turn creating john (koto from here on). miko is innocent without a doubt, and no i am not taking on the theory he actually did it til we get trial three. if koto was supposed to be his protector, and if he was born from a sudden explosion of pent up anger then (at least to me) it makes sense that he reacted the way he did. imagine being a corporate slave - no actually double it down, again, with growing up always trying to keep the peace. miko has a habit of laughing when he's upset. he laughs it off in hopes that things get better, his vd affirms this and even his mv after that. miko's smile that shifts to an extremely tired expression right before koto is born and a mirror shatters, right at the start. an intolerable stress from working so hard he grew grey hairs, cried himself to sleep, and yet continued to work, hold it in, and endure. the fault isn't on him or on koto. it's japan's work culture and the endure it mentality. koto is innocent/forgiven in the sense of motive. miko is innocent/forgiven because he's never killed to begin with.

010. kotoko did it to save the innocent. though she doesn't deal in nuance, much like fuuta. a key difference between the two is kotoko chooses violence because the justice system failed her. infact she's been hunting down the awful criminals of the world so much that she even has a covered bulletin board with pinned strings on it. on top of that, from the interrogation cards, we find out she dropped out of college and she was studying law. she'd be innocent for what she was seeking to do, in the court of public opinion, many would agree that awful people deserve a murderous punishment and she'd be even forgiven with that same reason. the nuance appears when considering the criminal, the crime and the reason. factoring those in then she can easily become guilty and unforgiven in the eyes of many, see the results after t1.

when it's all said and done:

they all had their reason, it all has a reason. who are we to say their crimes weren't just or fair? we're the judge, the jury, the executioner, and warden. in milgram whatever we says goes.

i'd love to see them all innocent, but at the same time do each of them deserve that? are their ideas being affirmed a detriment to them or their saving grace?? will they kill again?? will some of them be able to get the therapy and treatment they desperately need??? will they go back into society with an improved outlook on life or will they remain the same?

ofc i already have who i'd like to see forgiven and have already forgiven them myself, same as you reading this and those in the jp fandom (where it originates)

anyway. moving forward please vote with this in mind, and check out the audio dramas i beg you all. i hope that there are nuance voters and voters with sympathy but with how amane was guilty in t1, i have a strong feeling it's not gonna end well. but if it does, you'll see me rejoice.

[chuplayswithfire]

Im sorry about this i need to rant. I thought things were getting better but Izzy stan Twitter is at it again with their whining, truth bending and self-victimising.

'Do you like OMFD but wish the queer disabled hero didnt die?' IZZY IS NOT THE HERO OF THIS SHOW!!!!! He is at best a reformed antagonist. What an insult to the other disabled characters, and what about the actual heroes of the show??

'We've been betrayed by straight man writing queer stories'. First of all, way to dismiss the other writers. Also, its not his fault you project your personal traumas and mental health on a fictional character on a show with death in the title.

'GB's ending is comphet (?????) because 'we only need eachother' and theyre breaking away from their queer community' ED HAS BEEN WANTING TO LEAVE PIRACY SINCE LAST SEASON!!! also, its progress that Stede was able to resist basic flattery. And David made it clear that they still have work to do. This one truly broke my brain.

Im just sick of all this. Izzy stans have been coddled for the past week, being told its ok to grieve, but theyve crossed multiple lines. I do wish some things had been more explicit in this finale, only because David overestimated the maturity and media literacy of some people.

Sorry for this but i needed to talk to people here. Its beyond annoyance at this point. Im angry and sick of petty crybabies actively working to poison what we've built.

go off anon my inbox is open to your ranting let the rage flow through you [insert palpatine dot gif] but ngl the best thing you can do is just block liberally. block everyone. block left, right, center. do not be merciful. do not hold back. block until the ceiling comes down!!

because like, some of these fans have spent the last 18 months convincing themselves that their little guy was of equal importance to the main characters, the secret third protagonist, and he just got put in a box.

🎶izzy's in a box 🎶izzy's in a box🎶izzy's in a box🎶

izzy was never a hero of this show. he was a villain and then a side character on a rushed arc to redemption for the specific purpose of making him into the kind of man who could apologize to ed for being a shit. but that's hard to swallow for people who were convinced he was always right, so. also let's be honest: they don't give a shit about the other disabled people on this show. a bunch of them were trying to figure out a way for it to be wee john who was killed, and kristian is actually a queer disabled actor. they're just mad it was their little guy who they latched onto.

also yeah like four of the writers are nonbinary people of color, and there's definitely more queer writers on the team, but somehow this was totally the decision of a straight white guy. alright folks come on now to quote your idol pack it in.

gentlebeard's ending is them deciding to give their relationship a go in a more relaxed and sedate environment than the high stress locale of a pirate ship. their friends ARE going to come see them again. just because they don't all live together in the same frat house i mean ship doesn't mean they're suddenly forever alone. also there is nothing comphet about shacking up with your gay lover in a soon to be literal loveshack.

but like you can't expect these folks to care about ed or stede or gentlebeard or anything that doesn't center their white man of choice. the only thing you can do is block because anyone still throwing a fit a week later is simply not worth it.

no need to apologize anon. return to my inbox whenever.

[etherealspacejelly]

i was that kid who could never ask for what i wanted. i was the younger sibling of a disabled older brother, and i internalised the idea that i Must Not be a burden, no matter what. i suppressed my needs, wants and desires, kept them all to myself.

what i always desperately desperately wanted, though, was to meet one of my heroes. any one of them would do, i wasnt fussy. i would see videos of kids being surprised by their favourite celebrity and i would think one day, one day my parents will arrange something like this and it will be the best day of my life. they'll say, "surprise! we're taking you to comic con and you're going to get an autograph from david tennant!".

but that day never came, because i never expressed this desire. to this day my parents have no idea i ever wanted such a thing. they have no idea of the dissapointment i felt at every birthday, every christmas, knowing that it was entirely my fault and i couldnt blame anyone but myself.

but today, i made a decision. i am an adult now, with adult money, and i booked tickets for comic con a while ago. today, just a few hours ago, they announced that Misha Collins would be attending the con, and i Sprinted to the website to check if he still had tickets available. and he did.

in just under a month, i am going to meet and take a photograph with Castiel, one of my favourite characters of all time and a major comfort character of mine. i didnt stop shaking for probably 20 minutes after i clicked purchase. i am making my own dreams come true, for that little kid inside me who never got what they Really wanted more than anything.

surprise kiddo, im taking you on an adventure!

[blakbonnet]

Im sorry about this i need to rant. I thought things were getting better but Izzy stan Twitter is at it again with their whining, truth bending and self-victimising

.'Do you like OMFD but wish the queer disabled hero didnt die?' IZZY IS NOT THE HERO OF THIS SHOW!!!!! He is at best a reformed antagonist. What an insult to the other disabled characters, and what about the actual heroes of the show??

'We've been betrayed by straight man writing queer stories'. First of all, way to dismiss the other writers. Also, its not his fault you project your personal traumas and mental health on a fictional character on a show with death in the title.

'GB's ending is comphet (?????) because 'we only need eachother' and theyre breaking away from their queer community' ED HAS BEEN WANTING TO LEAVE PIRACY SINCE LAST SEASON!!! also, its progress that Stede was able to resist basic flattery. And David made it clear that they still have work to do. This one truly broke my brain.

Im just sick of all this. Izzy stans have been coddled for the past week, being told its ok to grieve, but theyve crossed multiple lines. I do wish some things had been more explicit in this finale, only because David overestimated the maturity and media literacy of some people.

Sorry for this but i needed to talk to people here. Its beyond annoyance at this point. Im angry and sick of petty crybabies actively working to poison what we've built.

posting this as it is cause yeah, it's just annoying at this point ngl

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i just now learned about a recent case where a german man kidnapped and did unspeakable acts to two boys. one was german, one was a refugee. the first one was immediately treated as a missing case, but the second one was not because the cops were afraid the mother was hiding her son to avoid deportation. and the worst part is, that little boy was kidnapped in a government institution (lageso in berlin) where his mother went for help! its infuriating beyond belief.

racism is so deeply engrained in german institutions, its not funny. yet police refuses any reforms or real investigations and deny even the notion - despite mounting evidence - that there is an issue with systemic racism in german police. and we dont have an independent institution to control the cops, you know who investigates their failures and issues? other cops. and we all know how they stick together like literal shit.

but it also made me think about „missing white woman syndrome“. does anyone really care about an eastern european white woman who goes missing while being exploited in the west through prostitution, in the domestic field, nursing, or as a „mail bride“ dependent on her husband? does anyone care about a white woman in the usa going missing from a trailer park? does anyone care about a white woman who was homeless, mentally ill, drug addicted, disabled, impoverished, prostituted, or otherwise marginalised going missing? and do people not care about white men going missing?

and it also made me think about this current trend of oversimplifying and decontextualising racism. one thing i hope we all can agree on is that anti black racism is very persistent. i cant think of a single country where black people are treated preferably over other races, best case is to be treated equally as a black person, and even that is not the case in most countries. but this doesnt just apply to white majority countries. in japan or korea, or under the kafala system in the arabic gulf states, for example, black people are systematically discriminated against and exploited too. white people are also not the only ones guilty of colonialism and imperialism - albeit i dont want to minimise the scale of portugese, spanish, french, british/australin, german, dutch, belgian (neo)colonialism or the north american slave trade.

i dont know its just, everything always has to be put in context and looked at from an intersectional perspective but i feel a lot of people who fault white supremacy for everything dont do that. and dont get me wrong, white supremacy is the root of a lot of inequality and issues, but despite the name its not merely a black and white problem, its complex. for example, even if a roma or jewish person is white, neonazis dont consider them the same race as white people. or i remember my turkish professor once saying, „in turkey im considered white, but in germany im a person of colour“. because race is not just phenotype, it is also culture, nationality, location and ethnicity that matters for who is holding power and privilege.

meanwhile a lot of the same people will refuse to agree that sex matters. or claim that sex - which is a lot less ambiguous than race by the way and nobody argues that mixed race people prove that race is not real or doesnt matter the way they argue intersex people prove that sex is not real or doesnt matter - is a spectrum while chanting „black lives matter“. and i know that black communities do have that conversation about colourism and how whiteness is something even people of colour are supposed to „strive for“, which is why for example the harmful practice of bleaching your skin exists. so it is being acknowledged that race is a spectrum, but some of the same people who rightfully talk about black lives and how blackness is its own social category will call you a bigot for talking about female lives and how being female is a social category.

im not going anywhere with this, just some thoughts that came up regarding discussions on racism and sex and how they intersect too. feel very free to chime in especially as a person of colour obviously!

[total-drama-takes-the-squeakquel]

https://www.tumblr.com/total-drama-takes-the-squeakquel/745126817291272192/im-going-to-explain-why-i-hate-emma-so-much-i?source=share

Huh how interesting.

*grabs out my massive defense*

Emma to you might simply be just a girl who talks about Chase but to me she's an insecure golden retriever girl who's been kicked down,there's a general reason for her hatred of chase, he's an ego maniac who refuses to apologise for his faults, he literally got her mother permanently disabled to the point where she doesn't even remember her own daughters name and calls her by something else. He wants her to be named after him. He's before shown the ability to known when he's done wrong when it's his friend's, but not Emma.

Emma as a character is latched to him because victims of abuse don't simply "get over their abusers" , she's simply hoping she's still cared about, she requires love,she wants to hope the guy she likes still loves her... because everything he's done throughout their relationship indicates he just doesn't care... and honeslty I don't think he's ever cared about her specifically. Besides Emma is fun on her own,she's silly, and acts honestly pretty strangely (/pos), her immediately jumping up and making a scene over not being voted off first is fun, she dances, her friendship with Bowie fun fact is good because he's a person she bounces off of! The fact that they can get along, showing off that she is genuinely sweet... Chase is just ruining a lot of her relationships. Aw man mid writing this I realize how genius that is, that all her relationships never flourish because her abuser ends up constantly either "apologising" or because he's around.

Shes also really good at challenges! She wins and does well at a lot of the challenges, to the point where priya considered her a good ally, picked her over caleb (god back when s2 was good), she has a good Social game, while she's not perfect, she's good at bouncing around and getting people to join her side, she manages to manipulate chases ego so that he'd fail the challenge, she's clever she's very clearly clever, as well as the notification buzz thing in S1, she thinks of it herself however she's probabaly attributing it to chase because she doesn't want to credit herself.

Theres a lot to love about Emma, her silliness and all. I think you hate abuse victims Emmater because of the fact that you can't even SEE Emma as one. This post explains it. You don't see Chase as an abused because he's "too stupid" and "not maliciously hurting her" JESUS CHRIST SHUT UP!!! He doesn't have to be meticulously fucking plan her downfall to not be abusing her??? The only times Emma hurts Chase is when he's purposely trying to win her over because he thinks he's hot shit, because he's making her god damn uncomfortable. He's hurt her in so many ways, got her mother permanently disabled, cut the brakes off her car almost KILLING HER-- Didn't bother getting a proper kidney plant for her father and wanted to fucking RENAME HER TO CHASE'S GIRLFRIEND. but because he's too stupid I guess it doesn't count.. right? I'm so sick and tired-- he still abused her who cares if he's too stupid that's not how that works being stupid doesn't give you a right to almost accidentally get someone killed ::/

🗒 anon

-

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not talking to my sister?

we both currently live in the same house with our mother and youngest sister, who is in elementary. the sister i don't talk to is about two years younger than me. dont want to give exact ages but we are both early adults now. we haven't spoken in about six years, just small talk that is mostly just me giving her a message or asking if she wants something to eat.

now, i stopped talking to her because we got into a fight because i told her she could not hold my little sibling (at that time my mom was the only one working and i was the one caring for my three siblings, including the eldest who is disabled, and i was the only one who knew how to care for a baby.) and she told me basically to die. and a lot of her words were just stuff she was repeating from my mom who has like this weird thing against me since ive been young, never really knew why. she would yell at me in front of my siblings and still does sometimes, though not as much since shes older. anyway, i didnt speak to my sister for about two weeks because of that and also it was not the first time she spoke to me in such a hurtful way, until some family members noticed and scolded me for it being as i am her older sibling.

i didn't feel like what she said was right but eventually i realized i do love and care for her so i did try to make it up by walking her home from school and hugging her and buying her snacks from the gas station that was near our house at the time. but i guess my actions afected her and ever sense she had no interest in speaking with me, which my mother does still constantly blame me for.

i feel bad and i did try many times to fix things and even still currently although i know she doesnt care for me i do little things for her. but she doesnt want to talk and at this point i don't feel obligated to even want to keep trying to mend our relationship when she doesnt even care.

then recently things kind of went bad, which i won't go too much into detail about, but she ended up going to a mental hospital for a few days for running away and threatening to kill herself. and she made some comments about me to my mom saying that i didn't care about her and its my fault she did those things, which my mom agreed. then she came home after begging my mom to get her and pretended as if nothing happened. i soon found out from my eldest sib (who this sister is closer to) that she only did that in hopes that she could get somethign from my mom but idk what and why she even mentioned me because then some people came around asking me if i abused her or anything and why i didnt talk to her.

but it made me angry and hurt since i have been working to be a better sibling even in this awful household, ive been trying to treat my baby sibling better too so at least she knows she's loved and not alone. i am working and going to school while she (sibling i am not talking to) gets to sit at home. i get her gifts and she doesnt even thank me. i still love her even though she hates me so much, even though i know she was just manipulated by our mom to feel that way about me. and for her to say that after ive constantly tried to be there even when she didnt want me it just hurted.

now i am so tired and im preparing to leave the house because i cant do it anymore, although i would hate to leave my younger siblings with my mom. and i think i will give up trying to mend our relationship, because i thought she could change but its becoming to much and i cant be here. i know i should not have stopped speaking with her and i regret it, but i feel like my efforts over the years should be acknowledged too.

and i just need to know am i a bad person for feeling this way? should i even keep trying?

What are these acronyms?

[daedalusdavinci]

22, twobat. heard u were talkin SHIT

22. While someone demeans your lover, standing up for them. Either in word, or by physically placing yourself right in front of them as a protective barrier. im thinking about emotional dysregulation and a strong sense of justice and how bruce is the reason alfred lost all his hair. in the words of karkat vants: anger can be a love language. alksdjnfsldjknfs i am NOT editing this

You get in fights for him. You've been getting in fights since no one gave your parents a chance to, something in you quick to snap and your fists faster than anyone could stop. You don't know how many strings Alfred had to pull to keep you from being suspended in middle school, but you know it was a lot, because he used to pick you up with a sigh written in the lines of his face, white gloves hiding the tension in his hands on the steering wheel. Sometimes he tried to argue with you about it. You never folded, because you were certain you were right.

Your school records are a mud-stained mess of arguing with teachers, getting in between a bigot and a victim, and the crack of your fist against someone else's jaw. You grew up stocky and angry, and you never had a problem taking things outside so someone else didn't have to. You think a part of you still feels like if you take on every fight yourself, no one else will ever have to get hurt. Regardless, it means that the college you get into isn't near as prestigious as everyone expects of you, and you know Alfred had to grease a lot of palms to do it. You think he's hoping maybe you'll keep your head down for a few years, and the intellectual challenge will be enough to keep your fists steady.

But then you meet Harvey, and he's simultaneously everything Alfred wants for you and everything Alfred doesn't.

He's optimistic in a way you aren't, level-headed and determined, but filled with the same drive for justice you are. Unlike you, he got in with scholarships and smarts, and he tells you stories about the kind of lawyer he's going to be one day, and the way Gotham will change. He flips some kind of switch in your brain, and your plan for the future starts to take a slightly different shift, accommodating for a world where you're not the only one who cares. He motivates you. He challenges you. He makes you better, and you think Alfred would like the person you become when you're around him.

At the same time, Harvey's a brown kid struggling with some kind of disability you'd never heard of before you met him, and the privileged fucks around you can smell it. So you get in fights. You're so quick to snap to his defense, putting yourself between them and him because you've never done anything else in your life, and Harvey tells you he's sick of patching you up, because you're bleeding again and he thinks it's his fault and he's trying to make you laugh.

It works. It always works when it's Harvey.

In later years, they'll call him Apollo. He's the handsome white knight who brings light back to Gotham, and he'll find it embarrassing and flattering all at once. You'll tell him you think it's apt, and he'll shove you, laughing like you told him a joke. But in college, he's the sun you orbit your world around, warming you when nothing else will.

The dean calls Alfred after you land a kid in the hospital. He doesn't need hospital treatment, but his friends don't know medicine like you do, and they panicked. He'll be fine. Alfred still calls you, cold, clipped anger in his voice, and you feel like you're eight again, angry and muddy and past the point of reason, the crushing feeling of a meltdown spiraling past what you can handle. Alfred tries hard to be a parent, and he tries to be a butler, and you're his kid and his spoiled charge, and this isn't the first time the two of you haven't nailed the impression of a functional family unit. You fight.

Med students aren't supposed to hurt people. Med students aren't supposed to snap and beat the shit out of other students. Med students aren't supposed to have meltdowns, no matter how crazy the workload is, no matter how much injustice happens in the medical field alone, no matter how much injustice your best friend faces at the hands of people you're supposed to view as mentors. Med students aren't supposed to recognize themselves in the textbooks. The dean is threatening you, and you're supposed to shape up.

In a few days, you still haven't gotten over it. Alfred isn't talking to you, you're not talking to Alfred, and a call from Leslie only makes things worse. You don't go out of your way to pick fights, but you don't need to, because people seem a little afraid to say anything after you sent that kid to the hospital. Harvey tells you it'll blow over with a grim confidence that you take seriously. It sounds too much like he's speaking from experience.

Then, someone makes a comment about your parents. It's not a particularly interesting comment- you've heard much, much worse over the years, and they've lost a lot of their effect. It stings- it's cruel- but you brush it off. You're in enough trouble already, and you've never cared about standing up for yourself the way you do about standing up for others.

Harvey's fist snaps out before you know what's happening.

The kid is flat on his ass, gaping up at you both, and Harvey is brimming with rage. "Shut the fuck up," he says, thick and growling. "You'd be fucking lucky if your parents loved you half as much. They probably only sent you here to get rid of you."

"Harv!" You grab his arm, tugging his attention back to you. You're torn between shock and worry, but worried for him, and what this will mean for him once the stupid kid reports him to the dean. You think for a terrifying moment that he could get expelled, and selfishly, you don't know what you'd do here without him.

You can tell he's furious, but he lets you drag him away, ushering the both of you away from the scene before things can escalate further. You stand in an abandoned stairwell and Harvey's fingers clench and unclench in your sweater as you hold his arms, giving him time to breathe.

"You didn't have to do that," you tell him quietly.

"Shut the fuck up, Bruce," he scoffs. His gaze flickers up to your face, thumb grazing the bottom of a bruise that's purpled in the past few days. You didn't get out of that fight scot-free, but no one ever cares about that. Except Harvey, who always cares. "You don't get to talk to me about when I should or shouldn't stick up for someone."

You don't have anything to say to that. The words all dry up in your throat as you stare at him, caught on the heat of his touch, the soft brown of his lips, and the determination in his face, like he'd do it all over again. You've never met anyone who understood you the way Harvey does, who matched your drive for justice and inspired you so completely. You look at him the way an astronomer looks at the stars, struck by their beauty and complexity- understanding, and yet endlessly wanting to know more, to know everything, to hold something you don't think you ever can. "Okay."

Something pricks embarrassed in his face, eyes shifting away suddenly. You think his cheeks are a little darker, but it's hard to tell.

You'll think about that moment for years. For years, when you hold his face and try to figure out how to tell him all the ways you love him, and when you watch him become the hero you always knew he could be, and when you watch him fall, holding his hand in the hospital and meeting his eyes across a rooftop, you'll think about what it was like to be so young, trying to put words to the way you wanted to press your lips to his. You tell him, once, that you think you're always going to see that little college kid in him, and he laughs at you. His laugh has turned raspy after years of smoking, and the shake of his shoulders makes the chains rattle, but it's the same laugh. "Maybe it's better that way," he says, grinning. "We were two of a kind, back then."

"Three," you correct.

His grin turns a little more sincere, a little more embarrassed. He says his words like a tease, but it's only to lighten the truth. "We thought the sun shined out of your ass."

"That's just the light reflecting off of it," you say, and he laughs again. You still love his laugh.

These days, you fight each other. You don't think it'll ever stop you from loving them both every bit as much as you did then.