#and didn’t realize i listened to maniac so much??? at

[crepezinhos]

A Thorn in my Heart

(Men that would agonize in the regret of ever cheating on you one day)

⚠️ WARNINGS:

— This will be an angst fanfic with no comfort

— Mention of suggestive topics

— They are all gonna be assholes

— Characters included: Al Haitham, Scaramouche, and Heizou.

— I would like to state that I understand the need of open relationships for some couples, but in this fanfiction I’ll use a bad example of one.

Al Haitham: You knew ever since the day Al Haitham accepted your pitiful love confession that it would not be easy to maintain that relationship. You two met in the Akademiya when you two were only 17 years old and you two were complete opposites. Al Haitham was a very quiet man, disliked by most boys but known and crushed on by many girls for his stoic face, intelligence and beauty, meanwhile you were a social butterfly, loved by everyone, and also one of these simps. As expected, Al Haitham was a very unpleasant man and he would reject or ignore all those girls that insisted on the chance of going out with him, but what made you different from those other girls is that you actually did your best to be pleasant to Al Haitham. For example, you’d listen to him yapping about math equations and philosophy but you’d never yap about your favorite things, you’d let him teach you things the way he liked it even if you didn’t understand, you wouldn’t complain about his behavior while he would… you were like his shadow. That’s what convinced him to accept dating you when you terribly confessed your crush to him, tripping on your own feet and having to pull out the “script” to make sure you got everything right. And well, it worked for some months. Both of you were very pleased to be around each other, especially you, hanging out with the dreamiest man in the school there was nothing better than that for a 17 year-old girl! But Al Haitham always felt like something was missing in you and your relationship… and he realized what it was after some weeks after a new girl stepped in the class. Personality. You were pleasant to hang around with but you would never show yourself to be a smart or a confident girl, you were just his maid mostly. Comparing you to that new, tall, pretty girl, you were… nothing. And to your misfortune, she also developed interest in Al Haitham and he did not close the doors for her. He felt academically challenged by her and she felt challenged by him. That rivalry only fueled Al Haitham’s feelings more and more. You never made him feel so emotional like that. Your relationship with him after her arrival lasted some poor, loveless weeks until you finally saw her launching herself to his lips and him, instead of neglecting her, held her cheeks and relaxed his body like he never did with you.

“How could you, Al Haitham?!” You screamed at him, countless tears streaming down your face. Al Haitham was standing like nothing was going on, in fact, he thought your teary, freaked-out face was disgusting. Anyone who saw the scene would call you a maniac.

“Look, Y/N, our relationship has never really worked, I don’t know why you’re so surprised. Let’s just get this over with before you stress out more than already are.” Al Haitham bursted some of his real feelings.

“Of course I am stressed out, Al Haitham! You betrayed me! How could you?! I’ve always done all my best for you!” You cried out, stepping closer to him.

“I acknowledge that, Y/N. You’re not going to make me feel any worser about it like this. You should calm down before discussi—” He let out some of his stress for you.

“Make YOU feel bad?! CALM DOWN?! How dare you accuse me of something like this, Al Haitham?! You should be feeling worser about this, it’s no kind of manipulation! We’re fucking done! You’re a selfish piece of shit!” You screamed out, finally leaving the scene before he could even think of responding your insult.

Al Haitham as a kid and an adult never thought that his mistake as a grumpy teenager would make him feel that much of regret. He feels sorry for you to have lived with the worst of him, such an immature version of himself. He doesn’t even know for sure if he feels sorry for you or his ego. It makes him look stupid, because he was, and he hates to ever think that you’d never forget how easily stupid he had once been. That moment was forever going to be the thorn of his reputation un Sumeru. You’re a very well-succeeded woman now, all grown up and developed in many ways. Al Haitham felt bad for knowing he had hurt someone who became very influential and in Sumeru. The regret he should’ve felt 10 years ago only begun to hit him now, probably because he feels attracted to you again. Maybe he would be feeling better about himself if he hadn’t fell for another woman’s seduction, who abandoned Sumeru to have her dreamy life in Snezhnaya as soon as the opportunity rose.

“Al Haitham?” You asked as soon as you saw him coming close to you, turning off your phone and shoving it in your purse.

“Y/N…” He said out your name but went quiet for some seconds, unsure of what to say next. “Can we talk?” He asked, thinking that you would reject him immediately.

“I mean… is it an emergency? I’m pretty busy right now.” You answered, really believing that this wasn’t about his affair for a moment.

You two now were colleagues, sometimes working together in high-rank missions.

He looked down and realized you weren’t wearing your uniform. You had makeup on, high heels and a beautiful dress… you look just as pretty as when you were 16, and that just influenced him to speak out more of his feelings.

“I… I’m sorry.” He admitted, as high as a whisper, without answering your question.

“What?” You asked, genuinely not understanding what he said.

“I’m sorry.” He said again, this time with his eyes closed to increase confidence, and you got a little confused.

“Foooorrrr..?”

“You know… me cheating.”

“Oh, you’re already forgiven.” You chuckled, really careless about it.

“But I never apologized.” He said, surprised at your reaction.

“Yeah, I know.” You said, beginning to feel slightly awkward.

“Is there any chance we could be… better friends again or… even more?” He asked, scratching the back of his neck.

“What do you mean ‘even more’?”

“Like… a couple.”

“A couple?” You asked way higher than him, slightly shocked, and making him feel very embarrassed.

“Yeah.” He looked away.

“Al Haitham, first of all, you’re asking me for this in a very inappropriate situation, second of all, no.”

“Why?” He asked, slightly sad with his broken expectations.

“Al Haitham, just as you said to me when we broke up, our relationship never really worked. It took me a lot of time to realize it, but, yeah, you were right as always, haha! We weren’t really close to each other, you know? I was just your annoying shadow.” You explained, slightly offended at the absurdity of his words, but still being very kind to him.

But he could see how you really had overcame him and the trauma of being cheated on.

“I know and I want to redeem this mistake… I want to make things right. I don’t want you to take those stupid things that I said that day to your heart, I should be the one doing that.” He confessed, genuinely starting to feel emotional as he tried stepping closer to you.

“You don’t need to worry about that anymore, Al Haitham, I forgave you for a reason. And I think we already have a pretty good relationship right now, don’t you think? Even if it’s just professional…” You asked a little bit ironic.

You didn’t hate him nor loved him.

“But—”

“Remember our first time together? You couldn’t reach your orgasm, you couldn’t feel pleasure in me even if I was soaking wet for you, haha!” You gave him an example, making him go quiet in embarrassment.

You were right… and that messed him up.

Al Haitham hates to be wrong or defeated.

“I’m sorry, Al Haitham, I can’t and don’t want to take you back.” You said with a very comforting voice, even if he hated to hear your rejection.

“But, I just told you, I want to redeem my mistakes with you, they make me feel… horrible.” He vented.

“As I just told you too, I've forgiven you long time ago, Al Haitham. You don’t need to waste your time on this anymore… I don’t even know why you're doing this now, it’s been 10 years.” You checkmated him, finally making him go silent in defeat and you too. “Go home, take a bath and rest. You really won’t have problems on finding another woman to help you redeem your mistakes in the past and make you feel better about yourself, you’re really attractive.” You suggested very kindly, and you two suddenly noticed the presence of a third person arriving at the scene.

It was the General Mahamatra, also very well dressed.

Al Haitham clenched his fists his in agony of being wordless, defeated logically and jealously of seeing the woman he regretted letting go, walking away from him to hook up with his rival, Cyno.

“Did something happen, Y/N?” Al Haitham heard Cyno ask to you, taking a slight look back at Al Haitham in suspicion.

“Nope, don’t worry about it.” You answered with a smile in your face, hugging his arm in excitement.

And Cyno smiled back. As a man, Al Haitham could notice just how much Cyno wanted to fuck you in that dress, just like Al Haitham wanted too.

Scaramouche: As Scaramouche’s only girlfriend in the world, only you knew just how cutesy of a boyfriend he was. No one would believe in you when you said so, but everyone believed the reason why you two broke up. It was obviously not easy to become close to him, it wasn’t even something either of you desired, but your heart was too kind for him to not feel safe around you and you not get attached to him. A simple maid that worked in the Winter Palace, with a heart kinder than the archon herself, dating the worst Harbinger anyone could ever work with, the complete opposite of you. It was pretty obvious to you that Scaramouche’s personality was something crafted and not natural, so you never bothered to give him the reaction he desired when he called you names, instead, you gave him positivity, one that he has never seen or received. And that made him fall head over heels for you in less than a year. It was wonderful taking care of Scaramouche, teaching him how to treat people fairly and how to face and stop his constant nightmares. You wanted him to grow out of his past and let his inner kindness take control of his decisions, but accidentally, you also rose his ego. You always complimented him for the bare minimum, cheered him for anything and taught him some basic philosophy that made him feel smart, unbeatable and confident. So confident that in the first opportunity he found himself longing for you and your touch when he wasn’t in Snezhnaya, he used another woman to fulfill his desires, believing that he deserved it and that you’d never find out. But as expected, a vicious cycle of sleeping with other women begun. It was so damn obvious that you found out it only after 2 weeks of his arrival from his mission in Inazuma.

“Why..?” That was all you could say after crying for many hours of seeing the man you were healing and building… giving love to another woman like you were nothing. Even calling you names.

“Let’s just get this over with, ok? We’re breaking up, I don’t have time for a whole discussion.” He said, crossing his arms in embarrassment and even disgust of dealing with someone so emotional like you.

“How can you be so cold about this, Scaramouche?” You whispered, still staring at the window for not finding courage to look at his figure standing behind you.

“Why do you act like I’ve never acted cold with you or anyone else in my life?” He scoffed, trying to hide the fact that his ego was slightly hurt from being caught so stupidly easy and fast.

“Because it doesn’t make any sense, Scaramouche! This isn’t just rudeness, it’s raw cruelty! I spent so much time taking care of you, teaching you, singing you to sleep, trying to make you overcome your past and this is what you do to me?! Cheat?! How could you?!” You screamed, finally finding the courage to look back ar him and challenge him, which made him unfortunately… snap.

“You know what, Y/N? I never fucking asked you to help me trying to deal with this! I was fine being who I am! Why the fuck are you blaming ME for YOUR decision, huh?! But thank you for your waste of time on me… now all women in Snezhnaya desire me because they know that you made me a slightly better man and a better fucker! Congratulations on being used, Y/N, now I’ll move on like you never existed and enjoy my life the way it’s supposed to be enjoyed! Don’t ever bother on talking to me again.” He bursts all his anger out, storming off your home and barely breaking your door from banging it.

2 weeks. That was all the time necessary for Scaramouche to realize he fucked up. Initially, his ego was all up in the sky. He knew that he had broken you and your trust bad, he knew that he made you quit your job and stop having relationships with other men. But remember, the higher you rise, the harder you fall. Less women desired him after the gossip of your nasty breakup spread around the town, all the slight relationships he had built with his inferiors broke because you weren’t there to regulate what came out of his mother. But then, all the psychological help you gave him begun to crack. His nightmares came back and now he had no one to hug. What about the sluts he’d sleep with? Well… they found his behavior towards nightmares funny or childish whenever they witnessed it, they wouldn’t sing him a lullaby to sleep, they wouldn’t teach him how to not be inconvenient, they wouldn’t compliment his efforts as a Harbinger, they wouldn’t hear his venting and they wouldn’t cheer him up. Only you did. The woman he had absolutely crushed was the only person who did those. Things to him got so bad, and so quick, that right now, Scaramouche was absolutely panicking as he banged your door with his feat and screaming for you to open it, scared of the darkness of the night like a kid.

You gently opened it despite his aggressiveness, with a very sleepy and dead face.

“Y/N…” He called your name out, happy that you opened it despite knowing it was him.

“What?” You asked absolutely cold and unmoved by his relief.

But he didn’t know what to say anymore. If he even dared to start speaking his feelings out, he would collapse and his ego would burn his heart alive.

“If you have nothing to say, why did you even bother waking me up at 2 AM?” You asked a little stressed at his audacity of showing up, still not managing to make him say anything. “Well then, good night, Scaramouche.” You said trying to close your door and walking the other way around, but he instantly held the door with his hand.

“Wait! Please!” He screamed desperately.

“What are you do—?!” You tried slamming the door back, but he obviously he won the battle and managed to push you away and get inside your home, closing the door very gently compared to his last actions.

“Y/N…” He said again, slowly stepping closer to your figure sitting in the floor.

“You’re trespassing.” You said, getting up as quick as you could and stepping away, but Scaramouche finally gave up on trying to save his ego.

After all, he felt really safe when he was alone with you.

“I’m sorry.” He started, completely ignoring the fact that he could get big consequences from trespassing your home.

“What?” You asked, not clearly hearing what he said but Scaramouche threw himself at you, making you hit your back in the closest wall.

He hugged you hard enough to break a rib and shoved his face between your neck and your shoulder. Your soft skin and its warmth was already so comforting to him that he just wanted to hug more and more until his face was fully buried and melted in your neck.

“Y/N, please… hear me out… I didn’t mean anything that I said that day… I was just… I don’t know… but please! I’ll go to my mission in Sumeru tomorrow and my nightmares are coming back..! I don’t want to go alone, I don’t want to leave without your forgiveness, your comfort, that sweet smile of yours..! I don’t have a single person to support me on this! I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, Y/N… I’ll do whatever you want for you to forgive me!” He vented, absolutely wetting your neck from his many tears as his heart ached by his destroyed ego.

But you were silent, deadly silent.

He looked up at you again and met you just staring at the door completely careless. You just heard the Sixth Fatui Harbinger whimper like a kid… why were you acting like he wasn’t there? Like nothing happened? Like you didn’t care? You always listened to him when you two were a couple…

“You know, Scaramouche?” You said with an ironic smile in your face, finally making eye contact with him. “Ever since the day you told me about mother, your best friend and the orphan kid you met… I had the feeling I had to tell you just how similar you are to them, but I thought it would hurt you more than help you, so I didn’t, but you’re really just like them, Scaramouche.” You told the truth to him, making his his heart skip a beat in surprise at your capacity of saying something so cruel.

You didn’t even need to say a bad word or an insult, truth is Scaramouche’s biggest fear.

“Wha… what..?” He mumbled, trying to believe he did not just heard that.

“You’re just like them, Scaramouche.” You repeated with no remorse. “You’re irresponsible like your mother, you’re murderous like your best friend and a liar like that sick orphan kid.”

“No… Y/N, what are you saying..? Stop it!” He begged in realization that what you said made sense.

“Stop? You’re in my territory, Scaramouche. You might have some authority in Snezhnaya as a Harbinger, but you have no power here… at least, not anymore.” You joked.

“Why are you comparing me to them…? To people that destroyed my trust… who made me act like how I do..?” He asked, getting slightly away from you in fear but still gripping your shoulders tight.

“Because you betrayed me, Scaramouche… just like them. You’re a murderous puppet who used me and lied to me.” You made sure to make those words were understood one by one, which made him want to cry.

Puppet? You called him a puppet.

For the time ever, you didn’t see him as a human.

You always called him a human, you always reassured him that he was more human than most humans around. He even has this beautiful memory of you telling him he was indistinguishable from a male human while you cuddled him to sleep after sex… now being contrasted by your careless, cold voice telling him otherwise.

“Now I understand why you cheated on me, you can’t love. It’s either because you’re too fucked up in the head or simply because you don’t have an actual heart.” Time seemed to have stopped due to the pain in Scaramouche’s heart, sobbing like a kid on hearing that, and you still took advantage of his vulnerability to get close to his ear and whisper your final words to him.

“You’re my first betrayal.” You said it just like he used to say ir when he vented about his past.

.

In Sumeru, he didn’t even dare sleep. He knew he wouldn’t be able to because that was all that ran through his mind.

You’re my first betrayal, you’re my first betrayal, you’re my first betrayal, you’re my first betrayal…

You’re just like them, just like them, just like them, just like them...

You’re a murderous puppet, puppet, puppet, puppet, puppet…

You don’t have an actual heart, heart, heart, heart, heart, heart, heart…

In the few rests he took, he had nightmares of you too, which didn’t help too. They were all sick and made him feel ill. All of them were him being forced to go through his last moment with you again or you touched or pleasured by another man’s hands and loving it. And it was always men he hated such as Dottore, Tartaglia, Niwa… it was truly a bad time for him.

This lack of sleep destabilized him so bad that it took Nahida 57 attempts instead of 168 to defeat him, and she obviously noticed it. His mind was not focused on that mission as much it would’ve been if he hadn’t heard those words… if he hadn’t committed the mistake of breaking a smart woman’s heart… the love of his life.

As Wanderer, he still remembered the things you said to him that day but he finally accepted them and let those words define him. He really wanted to see you and maybe build things with you again, but he would hate the feeling of dating someone who would’ve never accepted it if the name Scaramouche still existed.

“Thinking about her again, Hat Guy?” Nahida asked, showing up from behind while Wanderer zoned out in Akademiya’s library.

Heizou: Heizou was always known in Inazuma for being a one-night guy, but somehow, he still managed to get you head over heels for him. It all started simply because Heizou thought you were really good-looking and wanted to push his way inside you, but when he went up to you to flirt and joke around, you seemed to genuinely enjoy the things he said. You giggled at his stupid puns and jokes, you got embarrassed when he complimented you… it was like you didn’t understand his true intentions. It pained him to see you not understanding his dirty jokes and rejecting his proposals, but Heizou still wanted you, so he never stopped talking to you, which made you two only get closer and closer to each other and made you like him more and more. It obviously led to what Heizou always wanted, both of you making out and fucking each other like two animals in a bed. He obviously had a lot of experience while you had very few, which made everything wonderful to you. He reassured you in each step of it, he gained your trust to see you naked, he gave you love and pleasure… it was perfect. Heizou was also very pleased on making such a cute and innocent woman scream and moan his name so loud and beg for more like a whore. That night was the moment you realized you really crushed on Heizou, but that night was just another night of sex for Heizou. He didn’t really fall in love with you and your slow brain. Still, the confidence you got from that night was so big that a week later, you told him how you felt for him. Heizou was doubtful at first, unsure whether he felt lust or love for you. But… if he felt unsure, that probably means he’s in love too, right? No, the relationship broke off in two months. Heizou was a great company and partner for you, but the women Heizou had done before you never really forgot about him and the sensation of his sex. They knew he was dating you, but they didn’t really care, it was just one round of sex after all. They would throw themselves on him when you were absent and seduce him just the way he loved it, telling him it was only going to be a one-time thing… a quickie… and that you’d never find out until he finally couldn’t keep his dick in his pants anymore. A vicious cycle begun, he was back to his addiction. Unfortunately, Heizou was great at hiding it and you were innocent, so it took you many months to find out. You caught him during an act with a prostitute when you came back home way too early from a business trip to Liyue as a surprise for his birthday. You had even bought him a lingerie of his favorite color, dark red.

“How could you, Heizou?! I was out there working for us and your birthday, and that’s what you’ve been doing?! In our bed, too?! The bed we used to cuddle each other?!” You screamed at him completely heart-broken at realization you were just another woman in his sex catalogue.

“Y/N, please… I can expla—”

“You told me I was special, that I was perfect… that you’ve never felt so good with any other woman and seen someone as beautiful as me… why..? If you just wanted sex, you could’ve told me!” You vented in grief. “I loved with all my heart you, Heizou…” You confessed, making Heizou turn his head in embarrassment.

“I love you too, Y/N, I just… can’t, I need this.” That was all he could say.

After all, he couldn’t really excuse his actions.

“What the fuck do you mean by ‘you need it’? I always gave it to you.” You scoffed, realizing the problem wasn’t you. “Fuck you, Heizou, we’re over.” You stated before beginning to step away from your home.

But Heizou held your wrist in the first step.

“No! Wait!” He screamed.

“What the fuck do you want?! Let me go!” You fought him back.

“I don’t want us to end…” He insisted for some reason.

“You only have yourself to blame.” You insulted, refusing to look back at him.

“What if we open our relationship?”

.

Initially, Heizou was very happy about opening the relationship, after all, he had many women to sleep with. But you were not happy. It made you feel horrible about yourself, ugly, worthless, a mere object for his pleasure. You didn’t care if you had the rights to hang out with other men too, you liked being personal. The only rule between you two was that you should tell when you’re going out, but it was the worst part of it. You’d stay all by yourself after he told you he was gonna go out and he wouldn’t even come back in the same day to cuddle with you to sleep. It has been 2 weeks since the change, yet, you haven’t went out in a single date. Today, you finally had enough. The thought of Heizou having sex with another woman finally made you have a breakdown and you left home. You ran away to Chinju Forest to enjoy nature at nighttime. Reconnecting with nature never failed in comforting you.

“Are you ok, ma’am?” A gente male voice asked behind you, but you were so depressed that you didn’t even get scared with the sudden appearance.

“Not really.” You answered truthfully, which made the man sit down by your side at the peak of the mountain just like you, legs hanging in the air, his eyes staring at the starry sky with you.

He had long white hair with a weird red streak in the left side for some reason. He looked incredibly beautiful with the moonlight shining his hair.

“Mind telling me what happened?” He asked, pulling out a blank paper from his kimono.

“What’s that?” You asked.

“Could a poem possibly make you feel any better?”

“A poem?” You asked slightly shocked.

“Yes, the name’s Kaedehara Kazuha by the way.” He offered a hand to shake.

“I’ve heard about you… you’re the man that held the Musou no Hitotachi by himself! It is an honor to meet you, my name’s Y/N Y/S.” You shook his hand, feeling a little bit more excited already.

“Thank you, but it wasn’t that much.” He said.

“Well then, Mr. Hitotachi, would you like to hear a story?”

“I’m all ears.”

.

You eventually broke down while telling the story, telling him all the details of it, even the most unnecessary ones, no matter how you lacked intimacy with him. All he did his focus on writing the poem in that paper, so you really felt safe telling him it. You kept crying in your knees for some minutes after finishing the story while Kazuha finalized the poem.

“Here.” He offered you the paper, and you took it.

Now, it had the poem he promised written in it describing the feeling of knowing you’re not the only partner in a relationship very sharply. It was exactly you, even if it had no genders implied. As you read word by word, you felt your heart ache just more and more due to the self-identification, making you sob even more tears.

“You’re no help…” You sobbed while giving him the poem back, barely damaging it.

“Is there any other way I could help you? It’d be rude of me to leave a lady all alone in a forest at nighttime, especially a pretty one.” He flirted while taking the poem back, making you stare his gaze back in slight surprise with his flirt.

.

It didn’t take minutes until you two were desperately making out and having sex in the grass, completely unbothered by the fact that you were naked to a stranger. That man was simply irresistible. He wasted his time hearing you vent and wasted even more time making a poem about it? Being that beautiful and charming too? Why would you say no? And now you really don’t regret it because he was making you absolutely go mad with his thrusts. It was like he was pushing out every single bit of pain you felt with his slow, precise thrusts at your G-spot, making it all leave from your mouth in form of shaky moans and screams. You two were arched in an impossible angle, your nails crawling his back and your eyes miring the shiny stars in the sky.

“That’s it, Y/N… let it all out…” He whispered in your ear, making your insides clench even more around his dick with the closure of your orgasm.

.

You still felt the butterflies of what you had done that night as you walked back home.

“Where were you?” Heizou asked pretty neutrally when you finally closed the door, standing in the home’s only corridor like he had been waiting for you.

“I… I was out.” You answered, still shocked with what happened. It felt like you could still feel his dick ejaculating inside you.

“You didn’t tell me.” He confronted.

“Sorry, I wasn’t planning on going out but I felt too horrible staying home alone.” You indirectly insulted him.

“It’s ok, just warn me next time.” He demanded, ignoring your insults.

You’d definitely warn him next time.

You’d definitely warn him multiple times.

.

Heizou’s catalogue has been decreasing a lot recently. He has enjoyed his partners way too quick but you would were just starting. He was spending most of his hours at home again but you weren’t there that frequently anymore to give him attention and love. He could tell you were hanging out with other men and for some reason he did not like it.

You and Heizou had just made sex again. You were sleeping peacefully but he was sat down at the bed, thinking. It was one of the worst sexes Heizou had ever had. Before the storm, sex with you was magic to him. You’d hug him during all of it, scratching his back like your life depended on it, you’d need to feel every single inch of his skin touching yours, you’d whisper to him how much you loved it, he would rip out the loudest moans of the world with ease, just by fucking you nice and slow in your soft spot, he would make you beg to go faster and scream his name when you were close to your orgasm… But now… you did none of those. Your moans were painfully low, your face was relaxed, like what he did to you were tickles, you wouldn’t beg and scream his name anymore, you’d grip on the pillow instead of his back and all that you’d whisper were orders… he didn’t like it att all. It felt like you had been already satisfied by another man who had shown you better and stretched your insides more than him, and it made him feel sick.

When he looked at your eyes, it didn’t feel like he was making love to his girlfriend, it felt like he was fucking one of the prostitutes of his previous affair.

Heizou was disappointed at himself for letting your experience with him become so ignorable and even opening the relationship in the first place. He was so desperate to know whether you were or were not hanging with other men that he decided to find out by himself.

“Archons, Kazuha!” You screamed his name once again after many times. “Fuck me to oblivion!” You begged like an animal as you received all his relentless thrusts inside you.

His theories were unfortunately right. There was indeed another man fulfilling you before than him, another man taking all your attention away, another man stealing you from him. That man was making you feel so good he could even hear soggy noises whenever he rocked your hips, like you were wetter for him rather than Heizou. He from the felt deadly jealous, but he knew it was unfair to. He gave the idea of opening the relationship, and now he has to face the consequences of it just like you had to.

He tried to actually fix the relationship before actually confessing his desire. He tried his best to spend more time with you and make you feel more pleasure in sex but it did not work, it would even get awkward sometimes.

“Beg for it.” Heizou ordered with a smirk in his face, trying to act he was loving the experience to make you more involved with it.

“N-No… not today, Heizou.” You ignored him, smiling in relaxation of his thrusts.

He hated it. Your closed eyes, probably picturing that stupid fucking criminal you were hanging out with instead of him. He couldn’t take it anymore, and even if it was as unfair of him, he told how he felt.

“Hey, Y/N.” He said, tapping you in both your shoulders as you brushed your hair in a chair.

“Yeah?” You answered still looking at the mirror of the table.

“Can we talk?” He asked, and you got confused, but already predicting what it would be.

“Don’t you have a date now?” You replied slightly ironic.

“Yes, but I don’t wanna go anymore… I’d rather stay home with you, talking...” He flirted with a cute smile, trying to convince you.

“Sorry, hun, I have a date in 30 minutes, can’t stay home.” You explained.

The way you used that nickname so lovelessly made him feel sad too. He remembers the day you invented the complete nickname, “Honeyzou” and started calling him “honey”, “hun” and any variation, now being used so carelessly.

“Y/N, listen, I want to close our relationship.” He finally confessed, sighing afterwards in relief of telling you.

You stopped brushing your hair and looked back at him, slightly surprised with the audacity his request.

“Are you serious?” You asked seriously.

“Yes.”

“Very funny, Heizou, now please, I need to finish my makeup.” You said, turning back to the mirror.

“No, Y/N, I’m dead serious.” He pleaded, crouching next to you to get your attention again. “It’s been a while since we last talked about our relationship and this lack of communication has created problems between us.”

“Heizou, you opened yourself to other women when our relationship was still closed. You created this lack of communication, not me.” You confronted, stoping everything again to look at him very angry.

“It doesn’t matter! We’ve grown distant from each other and it’s killing me! You’re fulfilling all your desires with a fucking ex-criminal and leave nothing for me! That’s not how it works!”

“First of all, you have to remember you did the same when we were closed, you hypocrite. Second of all, I warned you multiple times that I’m not an open woman and don’t think it would work for me. Third of all, how do you know I’m hanging with… oh my god, Heizou, what the fuck is wrong with you?!” She screamed in disgust and realization of his stalking.

“I was worried, okay?!”

“Worried about what?! That’s fucking disgusting, Heizou! Jesus Christ, just let me go meet him already, he must be waiting outside.” You tried storming out of the room.

“No, Y/N, please! I want to talk with you, I want to be with you, I want us to look like a couple again!” He pulled you back and held your chin gently to force eye contact.

“And I wanted you to not be a fucking cheater, but you still fucked thousands of women in my absence!” You screamed back at him. “Fucking hell, I should’ve known this was a terrible idea!” You scoffed, closing your eyes in stress.

“But I love you, Y/N, please… I love you more than Kaedehara Kazuha ever will.” He whined.

“You don’t, Heizou… you don’t and you won’t.” You fought back.

Knock knock.

You kept Kazuha waiting outside for too long.

“Heizou, I have to go.” You repeated one more time, already knowing what he would say.

“Y/N, please… I just need one more night with you to show you just how much I love and want you… walking with you around the town… cuddling you to sleep with that goofy smile of yours…” He flirted, putting a piece of your hair behind your ear.

“Why? Did the sluts you fucked stop doing it with you?” You confronted, making him go silent. “I think we should go separate ways already, Heizou.”

“No, Y/N, that’s stupid and unnecessary!” He argued back.

“For you! Because if you don’t have two or more women to have easy sex with, you go nuts! But I don’t need that! I am a personal woman who cried every single night you went out and left me craving for affection at home! You’re only hurting because we’ve switched roles!” You insulted him.

“You know that’s not true, Y/N! I don’t need anyone else but you!” He insisted.

“Then why the fuck did you cheat, huh?!” You argued once more, and made him go quiet again, defeated by the confrontation. “See?! I’m telling you, Heizou, we should break up… for good.” You finally separated his hand from your hair and wrist and begun walking out of the house, leaving him alone with tears forming in his eyes.

.

“I bought this for my ex-boyfriend when I was in Liyue but I never got the chance to use it… it made me feel horrible.” Heizou heard you whisper with that sweet, seductive voice of yours to Kazuha while arching your ass up to Kazuha.

Heizou just can’t let you go. He can’t accept the fact that you like an ex-criminal better than him. So he stalked you again to know if you really are in-love with this man or just having fun.

“You look marvelous.” Kazuha flirted, pulling your panties down with a very lusty smirk in his face. “Mind if I use my hands in your head?” He asked, now pulling his pants down.

“No, not all.” You answered, and Kazuha finally thrusted you as he pushed your head down in the grass.

Heizou thought his request was weird, but as soon as he saw Kazuha’s head lift up right in his direction with a very sharp face, he understood the request.

He had noticed Heizou’s presence and didn’t want you to notice it too.

As Kazuha stared him deep down at his soul, he mouthed the word “Leave” very clearly, making Heizou frown in slight anger. But still, he decided to leave and not watch the painful scene of you loving another man.

By the way, I’d just like to inform that I’ll begin working on my requests again but it might take a while because I’m a little busy with the end of my school year and a little less creative and motivated too. I just REALLY wanted to get these angsty ideas out of my mind lol. Hope you guys like it! ❤️

[tvxqdbsk]

top 1% cassie status confirmed

[seetangus]

Oh how about: Reader loving Azula throughout her mental health crisis and still visiting her in the asylum. So, as she heals, she realizes how much she loves the Reader… and maybe through the story, you could see her reactions to certain things like if R talked about another girl like Ty Lee or something, Azula would feel jelly but doesn’t understand why or if R talks about Zuko she may think she’d like Zuko more like their mother…

idk but it’s sounds fun and I know you are awesome at writing so I bet it’ll be good!

Healing - Azula x reader

[Masterlist]

Azula x gn reader, no warnings

1.897 words, I hope you like it! :)

The metal door closed audibly, its movement making the torches close to it flicker. They barely spent enough light to make things visible in the cell. Now you two were alone.

Azula sat in front of you, tied to a metal chair in a straitjacket. It was a humiliating treatment for a princess, you thought. Still, your heart felt great relief from seeing her again after several months of waiting. It had been difficult to convince the new fire lord Zuko and his comrades to let you visit Azula, as you were considered dangerous due to your loyalty to princess Azula that you had maintained even during the last days of the war. But here you were, finally seeing her, the one your heart ached for, again.

“Hello Azula. I am happy to see you again.”, you said truthfully but very quietly. You did not dare asking her how she felt. Seeing Azula, who had always been so confident and strong in a weak and broken state like this intimidated you.

You could not make out what Azula was thinking. You had been told that she had for some time behaved like a raving maniac, screaming and trying to attack anyone who came close to her. But that phase seemed to be over now. It was obvious Azula was mentally still in a very precarious situation, but right now she was rather calm. At least it seemed like she was.

“What are you doing here, y/n.”, she asked. Your heart jumped at hearing her voice, even if it sounded differently than before. What she said did not sound like a question, but you still answered: “I wanted to see you.” Quieter, you added: “Maybe you need someone to talk to.”

A small silence followed. You could tell that Azula was, even if it had been months, still very stressed and angry about her defeat against Zuko. Still, with a heartwarming effort, Azula tried to initiate a peaceful conversation by asking you about the current situation of the fire nation and other wide-ranging topics. You happily answered all her questions. The conversation got more concrete when she asked about her old friends. Ty Lee, Mai, Iroh and even her brother Zuko. All the ones that had betrayed her. You told about their new positions and how they behaved. You also told her that, as you had remained in your position in the royal palace even after the changing of the fire lord, you were somehow reconnecting with some of them, even if it went slowly.

While listening to you, Azula increasingly looked lost. You would have expected her to be angry at the traitors taking her place in the hierarchy of the fire nation, but she seemed to worry about something entirely different. Nevertheless you talked with eachother until the visiting time was over and the guards ordered you to leave. You also realised your eyes hurt because of the dim light in the cell - it must be painful for Azula to stay here all day.

Having left her cell, a guard told you that they had feared for the worst and were surprised at how calm Azula had been with you. You couldn’t imagine why that was either.

< • ◇ • >

A few weeks passed until your next visit. In that time Azula had changed much; you were told she was still a bit unpredictable, but her violent outbursts had ended completely and she was overall more stable. That had led to the guards daring to attach extra torches to the walls of her cell, finally making the room brighter so your eyes didn’t hurt anymore. The whole atmosphere was different this visit, it was less depressing.

This time you greeted her a bit more confidently and with a smile. It would have been hard not to smile when seeing your loved one feel better. She also looked better than last time - her hair looked less messy and she did not have bags under her eyes. You were genuinely happy it went uphill with her, and you didn’t hide it:

“Hello Azula, you look beautiful today!”

Your warm greeting seemed to have catched Azula off guard; you could see she hesitated a bit before answering, and you even saw her blush a bit, but surely it was only the warm light of the torches combined with your own feelings that made you imagine it. Azula wouldn’t blush. Once Azula answered though, she did so with her old attitude: “Of course I look good, y/n. Did you expect me not to?”

That might not have been the most welcoming and thankful answer she could have given, but at least it proved she really felt better, more like back when she wasn’t here. Ah, you couldn’t wait for when she would boss you around and insult anyone else again like in the good ol’ days.

But enough of the dreaming, back to reality! Azula simply made you tell her anything that you thought might interest her. She said she TRUSTED you on choosing the right topics. That was obviously a very unusual thing for her to say but you took it as a compliment and started speaking, mostly about how things changed under the rule of her brother and how the people she knew behaved. Every time you spoke about Ty Lee or Mai you could see her eyebrows furrow and she did not comment again until you changed topics. When you mentioned that Mai and Zuko were a couple, her whole face lit up and she interrupted you, exclaiming: “Ha! That’s fantastic! Isn’t it great, y/n?” You agreed but Azula suddenly feeling happy for her brother genuinely confused you.

Anyhow, Azula soon seemed to become annoyed by the things you told her about the people she knew. After some time she simply cut you off and said: “Yes yes uncle Iroh’s new tea shop is interesting and I should care but I want you to tell me more about yourself.” At first, you were dumbfounded, but since she seemed to really be interested (and also since it was impossible not to fulfill any request of hers anyways), you talked about yourself for the rest of your visit.

Some time later, the guards opened the door and told you to leave. You had already said good-bye to Azula and turned to go away, but she suddenly made a harsh move with her head, loosening a few strands of her hair that now dangled down. “Oh y/n, before you leave, would you be so kind and fix this?”, she purred with unusual kindness, inevitably making you feel butterflies.

Hesitantly, you turned around and lifted your hand to her beautiful hair, gently brushing it back into place. She just smirked triumphantly and let you leave. You couldn’t put into words how heavenly you had felt that moment, despite the stares of the guards.

After you were gone, Azula thought about what had happened. Why had she done this. Making her hair messy on purpose to ask you to fix it. Not that it hadn’t felt good, feeling human touch after months of deprivation had actually felt awesome, she just genuinely did not know why she had suddenly felt the need to get your attention. And why did she feel so hurt when you talked about Ty Lee or Mai? She did not like not knowing the answer to something, so she was determined to get it the next time you visited.

< • ◇ • >

You did not let Azula wait for long. As quickly as the harsh regulations of the Asylum allowed, you returned. According to the guards, who prepared you for the visit, Azula had been behaving much better: there had been no angry outbursts or attempts to harm anyone at all since your last visit.

Luckily for Azula, her good behaviour had led to an even greater improvement in the furnishing of her cell: the torches had been replaced with lanterns who emitted a brightness that somewhat resembled daylight, making it much more bearable to stay in her cell.

“How do you feel, Azula?”

“I’m well, y/n. Actually, it is very relieving that you are here now, because I can finally ask you some very important questions.”

Naturally, Azula saying your name made you feel butterflies. She sounded almost like her old self again. “I’m happy to answer anything you ask me.”, you assured, excited about what questions she could have for you. You looked at her expectantly.

She also only looked at you instead of asking questions. Well, she did not just ‘look’, she seemed to have… found something on you that interested her very much. More than any question she could ask you.

“Your eyes look very happy, y/n.”, she suddenly said.

You had not been prepared for that. Your eyes widened, making Azula grin. It was not her usual grin, though. It seemed like this grin was not fueled by self-absorption and superiority as it had been until now, but rather Azula seemed to be genuinely happy, feeling real joy. You had never seen that on her before, so naturally you were very happy for her! And for yourself, for being able to witness such a beautiful moment and being part of it.

“Oh I wish the visits weren’t this short.”, Azula said, her gaze still venturing in the depth of your eyes. You were a bit confused. “Azula, the visit has just started - we have plenty of time. Also, I will come back soon! As soon as possible!”, you quickly assured.

Azula tried getting closer to you, but she was restrained by her chains. You had both almost forgotten about them. “Y/n, I do not only want to be with you during visits.”

You were speechless. All your blood was gathering in your head and your voice decided this would be a good moment to give up. “A-azula … I want to see you more often too…” you mustered up all the courage you had. “In fact”, you gulped, “I feel pained in every moment we are separated from eachother.”

Azula smirked and lifted her nose up, making her look as powerful as before; she was clearly enjoying you being flustered. But there was something different, something new in her eyes. Something that had not been there a few months ago, and that had grown each time you visited her.

“You like me, y/n, don’t you?”

Azula lowered her head, and it seemed like there even was a bit of worry or insecurity in her voice when she asked again: “You do, right?”

“Yes Azula, I do.”

You wanted to hug her, caress her and hold her close, but knowing that the guards would rush in and restrain you, it was better to remain sitting. You did not hold back expressing your affection verbally, though.

Azula was, like always, the first one to regain her composure, and you tried to do so as well, although it was not easy.

“Well, it’s settled then.", Azula said.

“... What’s settled?”, you asked, unsure of what she meant.

“When I get out of here,'' Azula answered, “I will arrange that we see eachother much more often than we currently do and that the royal family welcomes a new member. And now tell me again how much you love me, y/n.”

[aureatchi]

˚୨୧ ｡ ˚ IT WAS A NIGHT TO REMEMBER . — osamu dazai

⟢ SYNOPSIS. after a long week of work, you and your best friend retreat to a bar to distract yourself from your responsibilities. however, you find it unfulfilling and decide you need to just go home. as you head out the door, you bump into someone more than familiar.

a/n. it’s the way i immediately thought of him when i first heard this song. <3

info. fem!reader. exes to lovers!au. we have the full recipe…fluff; light angst; gets really sugg. mentions of drinking; scars. your best friend hates dazai. hc dazai doesn’t bandage his tummy. (ᗒᗜᗕ) ﾉ wc. 3.6k

“It’s just a lot.”

You just finished the final shift of your job for the week, and you were more than exhausted and burnt out. You had called your best friend immediately after to get some comfort, and despite how busy she was, she agreed to meet you for some drinks and listen to you rant.

“My coworker’s getting on my last nerve,” you continued venting. You had already told her about select crappy people you had to interact with during the day and then your boss, who regarded you with no empathy whatsoever. “Today’s already been bad enough, and then she decides to just pile more stress on me.”

You swished the ice around your emptied glass, creating clanking sounds while coating the cup in water.

“Maybe you should just quit,” your friend replied, taking a sip out of her glass. “I would’ve been long gone if I had to deal with annoying people all around, nine to five.”

She looked up at you. “Besides, you’re well off anyway. I don’t see why you’re working. Are you…trying to distract yourself?”

You sighed. She knew you too well.

“Love, don’t tell me you’re still hung up over—“

“It’s not what you think,” you cut her off, yet you avoided eye contact. It was easier to lie that way. “I just feel I’d have too much free time on my hands. I’m not sure what I’d do with it.”

You let out a dry chuckle. That wasn’t wholly false in itself, either. At your age, everyone had their own things going on—your best friend being an example. Therefore, you couldn’t find much time to go out with any of your friends, and you weren’t interested in meeting new people either.

You could blame your job. Perhaps the ones you meet every day put a sour taste on your tongue, making you lose any desire to interact with strangers. You could blame your exhaustion. Or…

“Honestly, I think that calls for someone new in your life,” your friend replied. “That’ll surely cure your boredom.”

“No thanks. I don’t feel like dating anyone right now.”

“I’m just kidding,” she laughed. “But it’d help you feel less lonely, no?”

“…you didn’t believe my answer to your earlier question, huh?”

“No. Of course not.”

It had been over five months since you broke up with your boyfriend. You tried seeing people after that, but in truth, you were only using them to try to move on.

Once you realized that it wasn’t working and it wasn’t fair for others to play with feelings, you decided to take on a new job on the other side of the city so you’d still get out of your house and have a change of scene.

“…But you know what? Screw him. I will keep saying again and again, I hate that man. Suicidal maniac. I know it’s hard, but you’re too hot to keep dwelling on this. You need to learn to move o—”

Your friend’s phone suddenly buzzed, interrupting her little lecture.

She picked it up, and you waited for her to finish speaking.

“I’m sorry, I think I got to go. I left my boyfriend with my cat, and he just told me he lost her already…” she shook her head. “Have you gotten out everything you wanted to say?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you replied. “I think I’ll go home soon, too. Not really feeling it.”

She stood up, handing you a bill with a smile. “Drinks on me tonight. Don’t complain—I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer. And we didn’t order much anyway.”

“That’s okay; I appreciate you coming to listen to me anyway,” you replied.

“The offer is still open, by the way! If you want to find someone, I’ll schedule a date by this weekend.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever. Thanks.”

…

You only had one more drink before you decided to leave, still mostly sober—you figured it’d just be best if you’d take care of yourself at home.

Another thing your job was also distracting you from was witnessing all the relationships around you. Your friend had to go home for her boyfriend. You noticed a few couples at the bar you were at. You’d probably see more when you walked outside.

Not that you minded, is what you tried to tell yourself every single time. You didn’t have to be with someone. It’s okay to have a break.

But was it okay to still have a particular person at the back of your head all the time?

You stood up, leaving the bill and tip for your bartender before you walked toward the door. Opening it caused the bell attached to it to jingle. You were greeted by a cool, night breeze—and someone’s torso.

“O-Oh, sorry,” you replied, too tired to even catch the face of the person you bumped into.

But you had no choice when the man didn’t move out of the doorframe to walk in or allow you to pass.

So, when you met the almost-surprised, caramel-kissed eyes on a face framed with dark brown bangs and wavy hair, you felt your heart plunge into your stomach.

You whispered his name—almost scared to say it, the syllables feeling foreign from not having spoken it aloud for months.

“…Osamu.”

He was halfway through saying your name when you dashed for the exit, shoving him aside and speed-walking out.

“Wait! Bel—“ he caught himself and shouted your name once more.

You started walking down the parking lot, unsure of where you were trying to go, except away—away from Dazai. You had forgotten this bar was in the heart of the city. You didn’t know Dazai came to this one, but you knew his work was somewhere close.

“Hey!” you felt a breeze behind your back, and then a hand gently land on your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks.

“What…why are you following me?”

You turned around, getting your second full view of your ex for the night.

His hair was a bit longer. He still had those bandages on his neck—did he bother to change them out recently? His scent was as still as you remembered—grassy and toasty, a resemblance to green tea.

“I’m not sure why I’d leave a girl I know to walk alone at night,” he shrugged. “It’s dangerous!”

You continued walking, not responding to his reply.

“Where are we going?”

“Who’s we?”

“Aw, that was really rude.”

You ignored Dazai, making sure your stroll stayed a few feet in front of him.

You then entered a park, him trailing behind you.

“Why were you at the bar alone?”

“That’s none of your business.” You walked down the path, trees casting dark shadows onto the grass under the moon’s light.

“…And I wasn’t alone the entire time. I was with a friend, but she left to attend something.”

Dazai nodded, trying to catch up to your face. You immediately gave him more than enough space when he reached you, not wanting any invasion of your personal space.

“But you usually don’t drink unless you’re either celebrating or stressed,” he said. “And from what I’ve seen, it looks like the latter.”

You stopped again. “Again, it’s none of your business. Maybe you should focus on yours. You go and drink tons when you’re stressed, too.”

“Hey, I’ve actually gotten better at that…”

“You still ended up at a bar midweek.”

“But I didn’t even go in, no? I’m with you at a park right now.”

You were silent once again. But now you couldn’t complain that he was following you.

Why do I care if he drinks or not?

No. It’s normal. You’d care for the well-being of anyone you know.

You approached a set of swings in the center of the park. It had been ages since you’d been on one, swinging back and forth in carefree.

“Want me to push you?” you heard Dazai over your shoulder when you examined the equipment.

“Heck no,” you responded.

“Why not? It’d be fun!” He moved closer.

“No! I’m not sure if it’d even carry me,” you laughed. “It’s for kids.”

“You can try it. Just sit. And I’ll catch you if it breaks—“

“Shut up. I can catch myself.” You lowered yourself onto the seat, seeing that the metal poles did hold. You swung yourself a bit to test if it’d keep up your weight.

“It works.”

“Great! Can I push you now?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t trust you.”

“I won’t kill you, bel—I won’t! I promise.” Dazai childishly held out a pinkie toward you.

You sighed. “Fine. Just please don’t push me too high.” You clasped your pinkie around his.

“I got you!” You felt palms on your back, and then a light push that moved you forward, and then gravity pulled you back toward him.

Everything pulls me back to him—my mind and the universe both.

You were suddenly pushed higher, catching you off guard. You felt yourself fly multiple feet off of the ground, and you clutched the metal in panic.

“H-Help—Osamu!”

“You’re fine. You won’t fall,” Dazai chuckled. He pushed you again, sending you even higher than the previous time. You wanted to scream, but it came out more as a laugh.

“Is the thrill fun?” he asked while you were in the air, noticing your smile.

“Yeah, it is—HEY!”

Dazai had pushed you hard, sending you swinging all around the equipment, in a complete three-sixty.

“Osamu!” you cried, the momentum spinning you around once more. You couldn’t stop it—it was too fast.

You were clutched from behind, arms tightly wrapped around your torso to stop the swing. You could hear the sound of Dazai being dragged through the rocks below, but he was able to ground the both of you before you went flying again.

And you felt warm. Despite the evening’s cool air, you felt like you were encompassed in a fireplace’s heat on a winter day.

“Got you.”

You let out a giant exhale of relief. And then, you turned around in anger.

“I told you not to push me that high!”

“But I didn’t kill you, did I? You stayed on the swing the entire time! You were safe! Plus, I think you enjoyed it.”

You stood up, causing Dazai to let go of his arms. “I’m dizzy now.”

“Do you need water? We can buy some. And did you drive here?”

“No, I took a taxi.”

“Let me drive you home then,” he said.

“I think I’m fin—“

“Please,” he cut you off almost urgently, but then he caught his tone and reverted.

“I mean, many kidnappers disguise themselves as taxi drivers. Especially at night.”

“You’re still so cynical,” you replied. “Stop being so protective. It’s not like we’re…nevermind, sorry.”

You didn’t dare look at Dazai’s expression.

…

You each got a yogurt drink, and it helped soothe your dizziness immediately.

You walked by Dazai silently, but compared to earlier in the night, you were no longer repulsed to standing by him.

He opened his car door for you before getting in his seat on the other side.

“What have you been up to these past months?”

You asked as he found his keys, turning them into gear.

“A case. It’s something huge going on.”

Dazai’s work accounted for part of your breaking up with him. He was too secretive—despite you knew that he trusted you so much that he explained to you exactly what his job consisted of, and he only left details out to protect you from getting involved, you couldn’t handle it.

Maybe you were selfish for that. But you needed to know what your boyfriend was up to—if he was safe. Perhaps that was another reason why. You would never let him go if you knew of the exact danger he was volunteering himself in.

“I see. Sleeping okay?”

“If I do, sure.” He was suddenly reaching over your body, grabbing your seatbelt.

Your heartbeat fastened as Dazai hovered over you, pausing to look at anticipating eyes and a risky glance at slightly parted lips.

He sighed before fastening the buckle and moving away, acting like nothing happened.

…

You two drove in silence, you gazing out of the car window to admire how the city looked in the absence of the sun.

A song was suddenly put on. You looked at Dazai.

“Do you still like this song?”

“Yeah,” you replied. He had put on your favorite song, indeed.

You silently thanked him for it. The awkward tension to speak to one another had vanished; you could indulge yourself in music.

Until it ended, of course, but by then, you could see you were almost home.

“Osamu.”

“Yes?”

“This was a really bad idea. I hope I never see you again after this.”

“Probably, but maybe I wanted it to happen. Maybe I thought about you so much that I had to seize this opportunity.”

“What?”

“What if I hope to see you again after this?”

“You can go flirt with any other girl for entertainment.” He did a lot of that, too. Even if it was Dazai’s most efficient tactic for getting information, he had also said he simply couldn’t help it sometimes.

“I don’t find that interesting anymore.”

You looked at his distant, faint reflection through your window.

“…you think about me?”

You were answered with a nod.

Dazai turned, pulling you into your driveway.

“I’ll continue to even more after tonight,” he said. “Whether we see each other again or not. It plagues my mind every day. What I could’ve done better—how much you deserve that I failed to reach.”

He parked. “Of course, I’ve tried to move on. It’s the most fair thing to do for you. But if someone were to ask me, bella, saying that I don’t still love you would be a lie.”

“You’re selfish,” you commented.

“I know. I’m very.”

You opened the door, stepping out of the car.

“Thank you for driving me,” you said.

You walked towards your front door and then looked back at Dazai, who was standing by his side of the car.

You contemplated for a second.

“D-do you have something to do for the rest of the night?” you carefully asked.

“No.”

“Can you stay? Just for a bit. We can talk about things. And hopefully, you get some answers that will help you stop occupying your mind of me.”

You said that as if you were trying to convince yourself, rather Dazai.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” You pushed open the door.

Dazai followed you as you walked through the house—through the hallway and to the kitchen.

“Do you want something to eat? Or drink?”

“I’m okay, thanks,” he replied.

“Alright. Uh…feel free to make yourself at home. I’m going to change, I’ll be right back.”

…

You walked into your room, first washing your face in the bathroom. You stared at your face through the window, noticing how pigmented your cheeks were.

Why did I do this?

You were in the middle of changing your pajamas when Dazai knocked on your door.

“Can I come in?”

“Uh—“ you hastily buttoned two thirds of your shirt before, “Yeah.”

A smell of your favorite scent immediately flowed into the room as Dazai came in. It was of the candles you had around your house.

“You lit my candles?”

“Yeah. I got curious because the flavors looked nice. I like them. The scent matches you perfectly.”

“Oh…thanks,” you mumbled. You didn’t know how else to respond.

Dazai glanced around your room. Some things changed—you had moved some things around, redone the decor on your nightstands, changed your bed sheets…what he didn’t know was that you actually donated them after the break-up so you would never see them again.

“Did you need something?”

“Yeah. Do you still happen to have bandages?”

“Yes.” You had Dazai sit on the bed while you searched your closet for the box of bandages you would keep for whenever he came over. Unlike your sheets, you had kept them for your emergency first aid.

Or in case he happened to be in an emergency.

“What do you think you could’ve done better?”

There was a silence right after. You had hit Dazai with a hard question first.

“I’d stop disappearing so much without warning. I only realized how much I took that for granted when we stopped seeing each other. I would try to communicate better…” He looked down. “I’m terrible at it, I know, but I would try harder.”

“Why me? You could move on and find some other girl to treat right the first time.” You found the box, pulling it out.

“Because I would feel like a loser,” he added your name to the end of the sentence. “I was a total jerk to someone who loved me, and then I decide to switch it up for someone new and pretend to start on a clean slate? No, bella—I’m cursed with not forgetting and forgiving myself of the past. It feels cowardly.”

“Osamu, stop. You hurt me, yes, but you weren’t the only one in the wrong.

“I-I’m sorry.” You hadn’t apologized to him yet, through months.

You noticed his eyes almost widen, surprised.

“And I also forgive you. It took awhile, but I’m forgiving you of the mistakes that hurt me,” you continued. “And I’m apologizing to you too. So please forgive yourself. You don’t need to feel guilt.

“It’s only fair to you as well to move on.”

“Why, bella? How is it fair? How is it fair when the only person I want to see is you?”

“Osamu.”

You were right in front of him, the closest you’d been to him that night, discarding how he had tightly hugged you on the swing earlier. You were drowned in emotion that surrounded his desperate pleas.

“Can you please bandage me?”

“Why?”

“I miss your touches.”

You regret asking. He had no shame in expressing his thoughts, no matter what you two were going through. You regret asking, yet…

“Your coat.”

You climbed behind and rid Dazai of the top portion of his clothes—his vest and dress shirt. Then, you started unwinding the bandages on his arms, chest, and neck.

Gently, your fingers grazed the scars that hid underneath his attire, and his mind. Months ago, you had learned what every single mark came from after knowing where each one was—it was one detail Dazai fully opened to you about.

You were thankful you couldn’t see scars of the heart.

He would have thrice as many. Perhaps one of them would include you.

You rewrapped Dazai, leaving only his stomach unbandaged. You moved to do his neck when he paused you with his eyes, mere inches away from his face.

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

You wish he weren’t so pretty. You would’ve been able to rationalize yourself quickly—you would’ve been able to give him a final answer without hesitating. But he ended up being the face of your dreams and the depth of your heart.

“I tell myself it’s fair,” you whispered. His nose was almost touching yours. “I tell myself it’s better that we’re done. But my heart isn’t so sure. It asks the same—how is it fair? To keep myself longing?”

Your arms were around Dazai’s neck with the bandage, yet you did not move to finish.

His gaze moved to your lips. A hand moved to your hair.

“Is it fair? If it truly is, push me away, bella.”

He didn’t force himself any closer, leaving you with the choice despite his yearning appearance. You could feel the warmth of his body on yours and the soft air of his breaths on your cheeks.

“Yes. It’s fair, Osamu.” You came to your conclusion.

Yet, you dropped the bandages, cupped his face towards you, and pressed your lips on his.

“But I’m selfish too.”

You moved your hands to waft through brunette locks as Dazai pulled you onto his lap. He held you tightly—desperate at the acceptance of your invitation.

Closer, along with the fresh scent of green tea, there was a note of sweetness as intoxicating as chocolate. You came to know this pleasant surprise every time you were pressed up against him, tucked well into his embrace.

A hand moved down your waist, tracing your curves. Meanwhile, his kisses became sloppier, changing course to your jaw.

“Bella,” he whispered.

“Osamu?”

“Too much? Just let me know.”

“Don’t stop.”

He planted his lips on your neck, leaving a mark when he moved to the next area.

“I don’t want to lose you again. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” you replied, pulling him down over you.

“Everything about you,” Dazai continued. “It’s enchanting. How you smile when you’re flustered—like right now, and how you react when I touch you here…”

His hand found its way under your shirt, and you started laughing. He knew how and where to draw every specific reaction out of you, including where you were most ticklish.

“Osamu! Stop, hah-!”

You let him stay hovered over you and left his curious hands to wander your skin. Dazai looked free of emotional distress for once—being able to calm just by admiring you. It was like medicine.

“Do you still keep a spare pajama set?” he asked.

“Yes. However, the guest room is being renovated.”

“It’s fine. A couch was a luxury for me at one point.”

“Or you…could stay here. And you can have your favorite side, the side closer to the window.”

“Because I always see how the sun’s rays lay on your skin when I wake up,” he smiled. “And how spellbound your eyes make me when you open them and the light hits it.”

“You remember so much.”

“I told you how much I think about you, belladonna. I remember every night that I’m with you.”

dazai listens to music w/ u if u rb. reblogs are cherished; they support me as a creator. <3

© AUREATCHI 2023. no reposts or translations. do not steal.

[rotten1angel]

it would be amazing if you wrote about geto being a dad tbh. like i know he has the twins but i feel like i need to see him with a baby !!!

I LOVE U FOR REQUESTING DAD!SUGU !!!!

anyways im a slut for suguru's boobs so they make an appearance but no nsfw

anyways hope u enjoy my lil dad!sugu blurb

the late afternoon sunlight peeking through the curtains wakes you up from your much-needed nap. you blink wearily before rising, just as panic sets into your system. you had fallen asleep while watching your baby, hanako. you look into her playpen before swiftly realizing she wasn’t there. you quickly get to your feet, beginning to pace as you wrack your brain. the girls had gone to the mall and likely we’re still there, given it was only 5pm. you maniacally rifle through the living room, moving through the kitchen and then down the hallway. your socked feet pad rapidly on the wooden floors. your heartbeat continued to accelerate the longer you went without seeing the small head of black hair. You rubbed your eye with the heel of your palm as you went through each bedroom, making sure not to peek at anything personal in mimiko and nanako’s rooms. You get to the third room, hanako’s nursery, which, yes, you probably should have checked first, but hey! It was your first time having a baby and not knowing where she was, logic flew out the window the moment you didn't see her.

you open the cracked door and your heart skips a beat at the sight before finally calming down from your search. in the rocking chair next to hanako’s crib was suguru, rocking gently back and forth, shirt off (yum!), and little hanako sleeping peacefully against his soft pecs. one of your hands rested over your heart as you heaved a sigh of relief at the sight. suguru’s mouth quirks up at your disheveled state. 

“i didn’t know you were home,” you say, your tone only slightly above a whisper as to not wake hanako. “and i didn’t know where hanako had gone.”

suguru nods gently before getting up from the rocking chair. he makes sure to cradle hanako close to his chest as he does so before gently laying her down in her crib and putting her baby blanket over her. he pads across the room to where you stood by the door, his hands coming up to rest at your waist. 

“m'sorry to worry you, mama,” he whispers into your hair as he presses a kiss to your hairline, you all but melt into him as he gently leads you out of the nursery before shutting the door behind the two of you.  

“was she okay when you got here? i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to fall asleep but her show was playing and i just drifted off and—”

“it’s okay.” your husband soothes, cutting you off effectively as his hand rubbing small circles onto your back, “hanako was just fine, she was just watching her show, but she was starting to drift off so i took her to the nursery and did some skin-on-skin contact.” 

you hum a sound of acknowledgement as suguru runs his hands through your hair now, gently, just to get the stray bits in order. “and there’s no need to apologize either, you spend all day taking care of our child, i’m not going to berate you for being tired, my love.” 

you melt against the man, letting his heat radiate into your bones before you hear the front door opening and the unmistakable chatter of mimiko and nanako. you back away from suguru, not before he plants a soft kiss on your lips, to go and greet them. suguru follows you into the living room, and his heart soars as he sees you listening to nanako as she shows you all what her and mimiko got at the mall, and as you glance over at him, your face still a bit flushed from your nap, and a wide grin decorating your face, smiling softly back is all he can think to do.

[elllisaaa]

how seventeen would confess to you - pu vers.

-> pairing : svt pu × gn!reader

-> words count : 2.9k words

-> genre : svt members crushing on you, fluff

-> warnings : while make you giggle and kick your feet, sex implied in chan's part

-> sorry if I made any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> masterlist | svt masterlist hhu vers. | vu vers. | pu vers.

MOON JUNHUI - RUSHED

to me, he really has two different sides.

sometimes, he’s a goofball, joking along with you, making you laugh to the point you’re crying.

would 100% do something ridiculous if it made you at least smile. 

he’s also very happy about the fact that the two of you have some inside jokes that only you understand and can laugh about (makes him feel like he’s special). 

and the rest of the group would look at the both of you giggling like maniacs without understanding a word you said. 

besides that, i think he’s very observant and knows a lot of things about you and your body language.

he would certainly notice the little changes in your mood by the way you act or talk, and he would be more than delighted to get you out of uncomfortable situations.

he loves it every time you rely on him for little things like opening a jar for you or getting things from the higher shelves, whether you could have reached them or not.

 and all this feels so domestic that he doesn’t even quite realize how much he needs you until he’s about to go on tour again.

he’s spiraling every night, thinking about how he’s not going to be able to live without you being so far away and suddenly he needs to see you, even if his plane is going off in less than two hours. 

“- Jun !? What are you doing here ? Don’t you have to go to the airport soon ?”

He was completely disheveled, his hair ruffled by the wind that also colored his cheeks and nose. And he seemed lost, as if he didn’t even know why he was there in the first place. But the moment his eyes found yours, it was as if the world around you two blurred out. Suddenly, he wasn’t thinking anymore, the only thing in his mind was you.

“- I- I had to tell you something.

- Well, you could have told me over text, you’re gonna be late !

- No, no, I have to tell you in person. It’s important, please.”

He sounded desperate, you had never seen him like that, never seen him so anxious. You simply nobbed, encouraging him to go on with his thoughts. Jun took a deep breath, but he knew that he had to say it right now. If you said yes, he’ll be the happiest man on earth, and he would hold on to the thought of you during his tour. But if you said no, at least, he’ll be away and would not have to see you everyday, he could let you process everything. Either way, it should end relatively well, even if he hoped for the first option. 

“- I couldn’t leave without telling you this, and I know that I’m selfish to do it just before going away for months but I couldn’t find it in me to tell you before. You can ignore me all you want if you’re not okay with that but I hope you won’t because I need you so bad, I need you to be part of life for everything to be alright.” 

A small smile was tugging the corner of your lips, having figured where his speech was going. You could’ve stopped him, but he was so cute, fumbling over his words, talking with his hands out of nervousness, his eyes focusing everywhere except on you. You leaned against the doorframe, listening patiently to his rambling. 

“- And I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you Y/N… I love you so much I can’t even bear the idea of not seeing you, of not having you by my side everyday. And I know that you’re probably not feeling the same, we're supposed to be friends after all, and friends don’t dream about kissing each other, but if I have the slightest chance of bei-”

Jun’s next words died in his throat when you grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, forcing him to lean down, just enough for you to meet his lips. He freezed for several seconds, making sure that this wasn’t another crazy dream, but the way he could feel the tiniest movement of your lips against his definitely grounded him into reality. He let his own hands slide to your waist, closing the space between your bodies and finally kissing you like he fantasized about. 

“- You’re an idiot Moon Junhui. You’re an idiot for thinking that I would turn you down, because I’m in         love with you too. And you’re also an idiot for telling me just before leaving. I’m going to miss you even more…”

“i promise i’ll make it worth the wait, i’ll take you out as soon as i’m back.”

KWON SOONYOUNG - SMILEY

he’s a funny guy, really funny and you’re a funny person too so be prepared to always laugh when you’re with him.

he knows that no matter what he’s on, you’re going to follow him and he loves that you’re in the same mood as him.

act as if he’s annoyed everytime you tease him along with his members, but truly, he’s all warm inside whenever he thinks about how comfortable you are around the other guys. 

bet that he would not miss an occasion to tease you either, finding you especially cute when you playfully hit him, with your cheeks all red. 

will bicker with you about everything and anything, just like an old couple fighting. 

the moment he really fell for you was when you offered him a little tiger plushie that he could hang on his bag for his birthday, saying it was nothing when it meant the world to him.

it wasn’t even that deep, he was aware, but it was so cute of you to encourage him in his little (big) obsession. 

everytime you participate in his horanghae agenda, he’ll smile like an idiot.

i think that mario kart nights will be a regular thing between the two of you, always making stupid bets to challenge each other.

“- Kwon Soonyoung ! I warn you, if you do that, we’re not friends anymore !”

How hot you looked when you were angry didn’t deter the said Soonyoung as he hitted you with a red shell. Your scream of frustration made him burst into laughter as he drove past you and won the race a few seconds later. He didn’t even have the time to celebrate his victory that you were already pushing him on the floor, ready to take revenge.

“- You really are a little piece of shit ! Why did you do that !?

- Because it’s funny seeing you all mad about nothing.”

His cocky smile was soon wiped off his face when he noticed that you were picking one of the cushions of the couch, apparently ready to hit him without any regrets. Soonyoung grabbed your wrists just in time to stop you, not giving in when you tried to squirm out of his hold. 

“- It’s not my fault you’re bad at this game !”

His snarky remark infuriated you even more, and you knew very well that he was doing it on purpose. It was obvious from the look on his face, but you gave in to his provocation anyway. You finally freed your hands, throwing the cushion aside and going to tickle his sides instead. Soonyoung couldn’t help the little giggles that escaped him, trying to wiggle away from your touch.

“- Ahah ! Please Y/N ! Please stop, I’m sorry !

- Not stopping until you beg my pardon !”

And you kept your promise, tickling him to no end, even straddling his lap to get better access to the exposed skin of his tummy. But as you leaned in, you finally realized how close to his face you were, your eyes zeroing on his lips. Soonyoung didn’t know who kissed the other first, he just knew that he didn't want to let go of you. Soon enough, you were forced to anyway, desperately needing to breathe. He held your gaze, and tenderly tucked a rebellious strand of hair behind your ear.

“- Please, tell me that it wasn’t just the spur of the moment. I might cry if you say yes.

- It wasn’t, don’t cry you big baby.”

The pout aborning his lips was really cute, but he didn’t let you focus on that, circling your waist with his arms, pulling you down on top of him. You gasped out of surprise, but quickly, you relaxed into his warm body, while Soonyoung buried his face in the crook of your neck, not once thinking about the fact that you were still laying on the floor of your living room.

“i may be a baby, but I’m your baby.”

XU MINGHAO - LONELY

he’s not very talkative at first, only greeting you when you arrive, saying goodbye when you leave and if he really needs something. 

but he always makes sure that you don’t want something, or are uncomfortable (my sweet guy). 

one time when the guys invited you for dinner, you sat beside minghao, and as the night went on, you found some common interests with him.

you ended up spending the whole dinner passionately debating with him.

he’s indeed a very smart man and it’s really interesting to discuss with him, even if you don’t always share the same opinion about things, he’s always respectuous and interested in what you think or say.

and that’s what minghao feels for you at first : respect.

he admires you so much, because you’re such a clever person, you’re doing a job you love and for which you worked very hard, and you also find the time to laugh with him too.

and even if you’re more educated on a subject than him, you never make him feel like he’s stupid, always explaining it to him in such a simple way.

and adding to that, you’re beautiful, breathtaking, which is not helping him to hide the crush he developed on you. 

Minghao stood in front of his mirror, he was there for a good thirteen minutes, trying to recite the text he so carefully wrote. He spent all his free time perfecting every little detail of his confession, because he wanted it to be just as amazing as you were. And even if it has been almost two weeks since he finished preparing his speech, he couldn’t bring himself to tell it to you. Every time he saw you, it was as if everything else dissolved, the world around was suddenly blurred and the only thing in his mind was ultimately you. 

That’s why he repeated to himself that he should practice. By now, he knew every word by heart, not needing to check the written text anymore. He spent hours and hours telling it to his reflection in the mirror, but it didn’t compare to what it was when you were in front of him, looking him in the eyes and smiling so brightly. Minghao took a deep breath, trying to convince himself that what he did was effective as he started over again. 

“- You always say that you have a rational and logical mind, but still, you believe in ghosts, fate and soulmates. You always say that you don’t like romance movies, but still, you cry in my arms everytime we watch one. You always say that you don’t like it when people do something for you, but still, you always ask me for help. And I find all of that so cute. Because even if you’re the smartest person I know, it reminds me that you’re not coherent sometimes. And I’m not either. I have never been when it comes to you. Everytime you look at me, I feel like I don’t even know how to breathe anymore. You make me forget about everything except you. Since both of us are a little silly sometimes, maybe we could be silly together.”

He stopped, looking at himself and shaking his head in disappointment. 

“- Gosh… This is so stupid, I am ridiculous…”

It’s only when he had finished talking that Minghao noticed you, standing close to the door. He met your eyes in the mirror, and they grew wide in surprise. For how long were you there ? Did you hear his whole confession ? And if it was the case, how would you react ? He felt his cheeks grow warm, and he nervously ran a hand through his hair. 

“- You know, I don’t think you are.”

The puzzled look on Minghao’s face made you smile even more than you already were, unable to hold back your grin now that he was finally looking at you. 

“- You’re not ridiculous. Try it out on me if you’re not sure.

- I… I just… Okay…”

And Minghao told you again, this time trying to look into your eyes, also trying to control his shaky voice. When he reached the last word, you stepped towards him, until your face was only inches away from his, one of your hands coming up to stroke his cheek. 

“- That’s a lot better, don’t you think ? Now I can tell you how much I would love to be silly together.”

“it’s all i’ve been dreaming of.”

LEE CHAN - COMPLICATED

part time idol, full time comedian.

he’s so funny for real, and it’s what you like about him first, that he’s able to make you laugh so easily. 

he loves to know everything about you, and he remembers even the slightest detail about everything that you love and don’t. 

and that transfer in the bedroom because after some time, you fool around while being drunk and until there, you didn’t stop. 

he knows you and your body like the back of his hand, and that’s quite practical as well as it is annoying because he can always tell when you’re in a good mood or not. 

likes to make you discover the music he appreciates and encourages you to do the same. 

has such sweet gestures for you, even if you’re just supposed to be fuck buddies and everyone can see how in love he is with you. 

but it’s only because he wants more with you but doesn’t want to cross the already blurry lines of your relationship, or even worse, lose you. 

that’s why he treats you like his girlfriend without saying that it is what he wants, and it's confusing and hurtful for the both of you.and if you want to get out of this situation, you’d have to take the matter in your own hands. 

The more Chan spent time with you, the more he found himself unable to leave your side in the morning. That was his only unspoken rule : he could stay the night, but he would always go away before you wake up because he had “things to do”. And you respected that, that he needed to settle his own limits. But still, it hurt to find his cold and empty space in your bed every time, his smell still lingering in your sheets. You wanted him to stay, to really stay. 

It hurt even more when you fell asleep in his arms almost every night. What was supposed to be only meet ups from time to time ended up being an everyday thing. When you came home from work, he was often already here, having cooked for you and ready to get all the stress of the day out of your body. And then, you drifted off in his embrace, with Chan kissing you all over your face. You craved all of that, you craved him, his presence, his affection, his love.

“- Chan… Don’t leave me, please…”

The boy jumped at the sound of your sleepy voice, turning around to look at you, still half naked. He wanted to stay, he really wanted to, but he knew that if he did that, he was going to fall even more deep, and he couldn’t stop it. 

“- I-I can’t, I have to go.”

Chan tried to not let you hear how much his voice was shaking as he focused on searching his discarded clothes on the floor. He heard you shuffle in the sheets behind him, but he was not expecting your arms to sneak around his waist, your warm body pressed against his back.

“- I know you’re lying. Please, stay with me.”

The butterflies erupted in his stomach, but at the same time, he felt a heavy weight on his heart. Was this what he was thinking ? Or were you just emotional for some reason ?

“- Don’t do this to me, it’s already hard enough. If it’s like that, we better stop.”

Tears were prickling at his eyes as he tried to not melt in your hold. He knew he was going to harm you so much, that it would mean the end of everything but it was certainly better like that. 

“- I don’t want it to stop. I want it to last forever. I-I think I’m in love with you…”

Your eyes were closed, as if it could help you forget what you just said. But to your surprise, Chan only turned around so he could hug you tightly. His head fell to the crook of your neck, and your eyes grew wide as you felt some tears soaking the material of the shirt you were wearing - his shirt, in fact. Your hand flew to his hair, grazing his scalp with your nails to get him to calm down. 

“i think i’m in love with you too, i think you’re all i ever wanted.”

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

fill in this to be added to my taglist !

[dearharriet]

"you're really red right now." with george weasley? and congrats on 150! 🥳

thank you sm for the request! <3 (wc: 851)

Swinging under the restricted access rope, you climb the stairs to the twins’ annex two at a time. Behind you, the store is mostly quiet, except for Fred’s loud singing as he feeds the pygmy puffs.

The banister is creaky when you lean on it, so you’re sure George can hear you coming. His door is open, so you let yourself in, announcing yourself with a rap on the stained pine trim.

“Fred says you’re hiding, but I can’t imagine what from,” you say instead of hello. “Certainly not me, I hope?”

George glances away from his books, halfway through a bite of takeaway. His mouth stills its chewing as he blinks owlishly at you. His hair is all askew, likely from tugging at it in concentration, and he has a tiny speck of sauce on his chin. You’d probably find it embarrassing if you didn’t like him so much.

“Sorry, hello,” you amend, realizing you caught him unawares. He remains frozen, though his jaw starts working to rid itself of the food that’s keeping him silent.

“Hi,” he ekes out, “on your break, are you?”

You hum affirmatively, coming around his desk to converse more privately with him.

“Yeah, and I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this idea I have for a product we could release near Christmas,” you ramble, leaning a hip against his desk and crossing your arms. George is staring up at you like you’re a star he’s never seen before. “A red-hot cocoa. We could infuse dragon peppers into the mix—to make it really spicy, yknow?”

George doesn’t look too convinced. If anything, he looks like he hasn’t heard you at all.

“I know it’s sort of similar to flaming fudge, but I thought the effect of making it themselves might add intrigue for customers,” you continue, starting to feel a little bit embarrassed.

Silence stretches just long enough to be uncomfortable, emphasized by an especially loud zzzzzziiiiiip from downstairs.

Biting your lip, you wince. “George?”

He blinks, seeming to come alive again, somewhat.

“Did you do something to your hair?” he asks out of the blue.

You frown. “You didn’t hear what I said, did you?”

To his credit, George looks terribly guilty in the face of your accusation. He takes it in stride, too, despite being every color of wrong.

“Is that what you were telling me about?” he asks.

Sighing, you take his loosened tie and shake it around in teasing frustration. There was a time when doing something as familiar as that would make you feel unprofessional, but you know better now.

“No. I was telling you about my idea for a new product.”

George’s mouth opens and closes silently, searching for words. He looks hot around the collar, from embarrassment or flustering or both. You like to tease him like this, because upon meeting him, he didn’t seem the type to be fazed by flirting at all.

Feeling maniacal, you take the opportunity to wipe away the food still on his chin, letting your touch linger a hair longer than necessary. The color in George’s neck shoots up to his pale cheeks, giving him the hue of a ripe strawberry.

“Merlin, George,” you muster through a grin, “you’re really red right now.”

He ducks his head then, ardently avoiding any inch of you he can. Cursing, he presses the backs of his hands to his cheeks to cool them.

“Sorry.” He steals a glance at you, his brows furrowed in what might be confusion. “Remind me what your idea was?”

You accommodate him, running the idea past him again, with more confidence this time. You don’t mind wasting your break away talking, at least not with George.

“Hot cocoa,” he repeats, rubbing his chin. You weren’t expecting a promotion or anything, but his mild response worries you. “We could workshop it together, yeah?”

“Sure,” you say, nerves winding tight in your chest. “If you’re not too busy.”

“Honestly, I haven’t done any work since an hour ago,” he admits. “Is it busy downstairs?”

You strain to listen past George’s office, down the stairs in the popular shop. It’s easy to make out the fizzing lightning effects and the siren-like sounds that engulf the love potion display, but any real crowd bustle is absent.

“Hardly,” you say.

George pushes up from his chair, making for his door. “Good,” he says, “we can start now.”

He closes the heavy door, and then retrieves a cauldron and hauls it over to his desk. Before he sets it down, though, he holds it up in front of your face.

“In case you were wondering why I thought you did something to your hair,” he explains, “it’s because someone did something to your hair.”

In the warped reflection on the brass cauldron you can see yourself—and your flaming pink hair.

“Merlin, I look like Tonks.”

George laughs at that, dropping the heavy basin onto the rich mahogany table. He doubles back to his shelves again to collect some ingredients.

“Any idea who did it?” he prompts.

You roll your eyes.

“Yeah. He looks a lot like you.”

+

thank you for reading! xx

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[orbitariums]

rum punch | patrick zweig x black fem reader

writing this because patrick is definitely the type to text you like “if you wanna pull up just to get fucked here’s the addy”

obsessed with this song right now (rump punch by cash cobain) and listened to it over and over while writing this. i recommend listening to compliment your reading experience 🙏🏾 it’s sooo challengers especially patrick zweig coded. let’s review: “top five nasty, you ain’t even gotta ask me” and “soon as you leave i miss u too, like damn”; “don’t be asking questions like a interview cuz you really know what we finna do”...  “i just made her cum twice you ain’t make her cum once”?!!>!##? that’s patrick DOWN. sorry it must be said… 

so a little drabble-ish thing is ahead! contains: cheating (ooops), degradation, smut

it started when you started dating your current boyfriend, or at least that’s what you would tell yourselves to make you feel better about the whole ordeal — not that patrick cared much to begin with. but anybody who knew you and patrick knew that this had been going on for far longer than either of you would care to admit, or that either of you had enough introspective ability to even realize. every single playful shove, every time you squeezed his hand to deflect from parting at the end of a hangout, the way he’d stack his legs on top of yours while you were studying even though he knew you “hated” it, his thumb circling your hand, your head on his shoulder during a late night movie sesh with art and tashi, eyes fluttering closed until you found sleepy heaven in the perfect crevice of his neck. nearly every time you saw each other, which was frequent, you were touching without touching. art, who wasn’t one to make crass comments often, would always tell patrick: “it wouldn’t even make a difference, you should just go ahead and fuck each other. the shit you two do is more than just sex.”

it was 11:16 pm when you called him. your boyfriend had sped off in the middle of the night in a fit of anger after an intense argument about the same thing for the hundredth time. you were so tired. you’d been so close to texting or calling him before, but you refrained — you didn’t want things between the two of you to get messy when nothing in your life was going right in the first place. but now that you were nearly slumped against the wall with tears hot against your face, so tired beyond comprehension, you could blame it on the delirium brought on by exhaustion. you told yourself you just needed the comfort of your close friend, who always made you laugh.

“patrick, can i come over?” you’d asked, your voice trembling, your face buried in your sweater sleeve. 

patrick had never heard you sound so upset — he’d never even seen you cry. when you were around him, you were always so jovial and giggly. so when he heard your voice on the phone, so late at night, sounding so fragile and fractured, his eyebrows immediately knit together with concern, and he sat up on his couch. 

“yn, are you okay? is everything alright, you sound—”

“i’m fine,” you sniffled, breath catching on your voice multiple times. “just-just need a friend. please, can i come over?”

you couldn’t see it, but his features softened, and some wedge in his heart seemed to shift over,

“yeah. yeah, of course you can.”

he was so confused, but just glad to know that you were at least okay, taking pride in the fact that he was who you wanted to be around, whatever was going on. he made some rushed efforts to tidy up his bachelor apartment, sweeping crumbs under the rug, tucking in pillows on the couch, throwing yesterday’s takeout into the overflowing trashcan, and swiping the trash off his coffee table. 

he couldn’t believe how shrunken you looked when you appeared in front of his door that night, clad in an oversized stanford hoodie and sweatpants, slippers, tears still welling up in your eyes. this couldn’t be the same yn pushing him off of her with excessive force and maniacally cackling at his stupid jokes. 

“wh-”

before he could get a word out, you threw your arms around your waist, plopping your head down on his chest. he stilled for a moment out of shock, then relaxed into your touch, embracing you with his arms around your shoulders and down your back, holding you because he knew that’s what you needed right now. 

and then you were pulling away, sniffling and wiping away your tears, finally feeling some ounce of comfort now that you were with him. you knew, you knew, this was what you needed, as much as you had resisted this very thing. 

“it’s chris,” you said, moving past him and inside his apartment, groaning as you plunked down onto the couch. 

now, looking out the open door at the hallway ahead of him, patrick was nodding to himself silently, like he had come to some realization. he sat beside you, and you turned to him with a pout. and it was then that patrick knew he was not a good man for thinking about how pretty you looked with tears streaking your face and your lips pressed together in a girlish pout. 

“he’s like… intimidated by me or something. every single thing i tell him about my day, about work, about my friends, my wins… he’s always finding some thing to harp on like i’m some villain stopping him from achieving his finance bro dreams. he hates that i’m living my life because he isn’t living his yet. so every thing i earn, he just picks it apart and tears it down, questions my motives for everything.”

“he’s a dick, alright?” patrick said, in that ever so frank tone that you honestly missed, and wished you could hear during these arguments with your boyfriend. “yn, i’d never… we wouldn’t treat you like that, me and art and tashi. we’re your real friends, we celebrate you. that’s how a relationship’s supposed to go. he’s a stupid fuck.”

you grinned a bit at his correction, the corner of your lips turning up.

“i know you wouldn’t.”

“can i ask you something though, yn?”

“mhm?” you looked up at him with such innocent doe eyes that he didn’t want to call bullshit, but he was calling bullshit. 

“why… why’d you come over here? why not to tashi or your mom’s or… anyone else? why me?”

you sighed deeply, shaking your head,

“because, patrick, i… i just… want you right now.”

his face impossibly close to yours, intruding your senses and all your walls before you even realized they were up. 

“how do you want me?” he asked, his voice the softest it had ever been, his breath tickling your cheek. 

you were hoping you wouldn’t have to finish your sentence, and patrick knew it — his hands gripped the sides of your face with a stronghold, and then your lips were crashing against each other like a wave coming to the tide, foaming and sputtering and wetting the cracked sand at the shore. and it didn’t take long before you were climbing on top of him and straddling him, your clothes falling off one by one. his rough hand clutching your breast and squeezing, another in your panties navigating your clit like a fucking expert, making your back arch against the air. then your legs by your head as patrick drove himself into you, tender and slow and making you see stars instead of his face and the ceiling. fucking every tear out of you, turning your sobs of pain into sobs of pleasure. your moans were like a choir to him, licking flames against his earlobes each time you whimpered his name, leaving little half-circle imprints in his back with his nails. sweat dripping down his forehead as he clutched his eyes shut and tried not to come too fast, tried not to let the way you wrapped around him like a fucking snake— pussy squeezing his cock, legs trapping him inside you, hands roaming his back like new found land — make him lose focus. 

“fuck, your fucking moans. d’you have any idea how much i’ve thought about this? f- fuck, if you come to me crying again, i’m not gonna go so easy on you.”

if he had an ounce of self-respect, he’d have stopped you after the first time (he didn’t have the discipline to deny you completely), but something about him stirred at the unpredictable predictability of it all. he knew that at least once a week, you’d come crying to him over something your asshole boyfriend did to you, it was just a matter of what day of the week. 

he liked when you came over on friday nights most, because more often than not you’d stay the night, sometimes the weekend, making the excuse to your boyfriend that you were sleeping over at a girlfriend or your mother’s house. but really you were just spending the whole weekend getting fucked by your recovery boyfriend patrick, who would scrape up the little money he had to order food from your favorite thai restaurant every night and watch what were, in his opinion, the most insipid movies he’d ever seen — because he knew that less than halfway through you’d be split open on his cock, sobbing with pleasure into his shoulder as princess diaries became a distant echo in the background. his hand on the small of your back, his vision glazing over as he stares ahead at the tv, too enraptured by the sweet whimpers you make while you’re (attempting to) ride him, the sounds of your slick pussy swallowing him whole in slow intervals, panting and gasping as he speared you open because he was: “so big, patrick you’re so big.”

he’ll snap out of it then, find his hands wrapped around your waist and his lips buried in the crook of your neck,

“it’s okay, baby. you can take me.”

“i’m trying,” you wailed, the frustration so clear in your voice that it almost made him laugh. 

instead, he wrapped his hands around your waist firmly, leading you down onto his cock himself. 

“fuck!” you shouted out, practically collapsing forward onto him. “patrick, please—”

“if you can come to me crying just to get dick, you can take it.”

you gasped at the directness of his words, punching yourself for how much it turned you on. and he knew it too, by the way your pussy throbbed around his dick. you couldn’t see his face, but you could practically hear the shit-eating smirk in his voice as he grabbed your asscheek,

“yeah, your pussy loves it though. and you love being my little slut behind closed doors when your boyfriend isn’t acting right.”

you couldn’t control the moan that tumbled out of your lips when he said that, and definitely not the screech you let out when he started to thrust up, jackhammering into you so his cock reached the hilt. 

“that what you wanted?”

“yes, yes!” you wailed, nodding desperately, positively wrecked as your head practically hung over his shoulder, enveloped in a world of pleasure. 

“yeah… i know…”

and sometimes he won't be so nice. he'll be damn near using your pussy like a fleshlight, his body practically covering yours as he fucks you like an animal, hard and fast and rough, your pussy squelching around his cock each time he rams it into you. he'll use you like he's the one that needs comforting, like your pussy is the only safe haven he knows. and it's only fair, the way you hide out in his house and act like his dick is your life source. he fucks you like he's an athlete and this is his sport, tennis be damned. he'll degrade you anyway he knows how — because he knows you love it, knows it makes you finish two times as fast.

"he doesn't fuck you like this."

"you're such a fucking slut. come over here crying acting like you don't pull up just to get fucked." he'll laugh as he says this, and you want to smack his chest in indignation, but you can't manage anything but moans.

“you’re such a good girl. letting me use this pussy when i want.”

"there you go, squeeze my cock like it's yours."

"pussy's so greedy, getting fucked by the both of us. still so fucking tight."

"your boyfriend's probably wondering where you are." this has made you come twice now.

"whose pussy is it?" (and even though you have a man, you tell him it's his every time. sometimes he doesn't even need to ask, sometimes he fucks you so good that you just scream out: "it's your pussy — it's your pussy, daddy", and he'll chuckle and say: "i know.").

and you let him say these things and more, because he fucks you like no one ever has, like he knows something you told him in complete and total secrecy. like it's something so complex — but all it ever takes is one touch.

your friends have noticed something is different between you two, but it's honestly not a big jump from before — only this time, you guys sealed the deal and were actually fucking now. of course, patrick can't keep his mouth closed for long and ends up bragging to art, and you tell tashi because she's one of the girls, and now there's this unspoken understand between all of you. but no one feels the need to intervene, because honestly... it makes sense.

and you’ll have a conversation with him every other time, telling him “we have to stop doing this.” and one day he replies, 

“yn. not to be a dick or anything, but you’re the one who calls me. you act like you're coming over for comfort, but we both know it's my dick doing all the comforting."

and you know it’s true, you know patrick is right even if he is an asshole. but you won’t let that stop you from texting him: thai food and a movie? everytime your boyfriend fucks up. and patrick won't stop you either.

[tootiecakes234]

I’m gonna rank jjk peoples and the things they are best at

Some SFW AND NSFW

All characters aged up.

*im just ranking the top 3 for each category.

SFW:

Best cook:

Nanami (would cook 3 course meals everyday if he had the time)

Itadori (big ass appetite and cooked for himself a lot growning up)

Panda ( i just feel like he’s the cook for himself, toge, and maki)

Best singer:

Megumi ( he hums when he’s concentrating but no one mentions it because if he realized, he’d never do it again)

Geto (Gojo used to force him to sing because he loved his voice)

Todo (hear me out, he sings so often and it’s great but everyone ends up telling him to shut the fuck up cuz he will just keep going forever)

Biggest gossips (I don’t need to explain these):

Gojo

Nobara

Toge & Panda

Best gift givers:

Shoko (i feel like she’s pays very close attention to detail and would know exactly what you want)

Nanami ( would get you something that you want AND something that you need. Balance)

Megumi (is more of a listener than a talker so he 100% knows what people want)

Worst liars:

Itadori (poor baby can’t lie to save his life)

Yuta (again… lying just isn’t his thing)

Haibara (innocent sweet baby)

Best liars:

Geto & Gojo (lied to everyone and said they never saw each other in private after that day…. Puh-lease!)

Nobara (constantly telling Gojo she doesn’t know where those charges on his card came from.. weird)

Shoko (covering for Gojo when he did go meet with Geto)

Worst drivers:

Maki (music blasting, windows down, curbs hit and vibes. She’s also driving 20over the speed limit at all times)

Gojo ( this man can’t be hurt so he drives like a god damn maniac)

Gakuganji (he’s old and someone needs to take away his license)

NSFW:

Best overall in bed (not explaining):

Toji

Shoko

Geto

Best eaters:

Maki (I shouldn’t have to explain…. This woman EATS DOWN. Will not stop until the sheets are soaked and your legs are shaking)

Shoko (women do it best and shoko…. Yea she’s top tier. Have you outside her door with a boombox)

Yuta (the only man to make this list because he is a MUNCH.)

Most loving in bed:

Nanami (obviously… rose petals on the bed, slow moves deep strokes and great aftercare)

Toge (he shows you what his words cannot say)

Choso (would not leave a patch of skin untouched and he loves to talk you through the whole thing)

Meanest in bed:

Sukuna (very obvi, more pain than pleasure. Uses you like a plaything)

Mei Mei ( she’s tying you up, gagging you and overstimming to hell, but you will enjoy yourself)

Ijichi (stick with me…. This man is used and abused all day at work and he comes home to let that out on you… I feel like he’s a mean dom)

Pillow princess energy:

Nobara ( is the exact definition of a pillow princess. Treat her well)

Mei Mei (on the days when she’s not up for the work, she will sit back and let you try and please her until she gets tired)

Gojo (he comes home a lot of times exhausted and just wants to be rode or be sucked off)

Biggest tease:

Gojo (he’s just so physically affectionate, he would have you squirming and not even be doing it on purpose)

Megumi (would 1000% be on purpose but it would be so subtle. You’d be gaslit into thinking you’re making it all up in your head)

Sukuna (just wants to see how fast he can make you get on your knees and beg for him

Best subs:

Yuta (he would be down on his knees for you. Does anything to make you happy)

Choso (self explanatory. Loves to serve you)

Gojo (but only for Geto. Cannot tell me he didn’t go to him begging to be fucked more than once after their breakup.

*this was so much fun

[stinmybubs]

"Do It For Us." Pt.4

AN: I LIED SHE IS IN UA CUZ SHIKETSU IS TOO STRICT AND SHE NEEDS CREATIVE FREEDOM.

Summery: quirkless and weak, two words treat have defined this girl for too long. She can be useful to her friends, she can finally carve out a way into the hero life. From the sidelines. But…Izuku has a quirk? When? How? He’s a liar….

M. Izuku x AFAB! Reader x B. Katsuki

Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3

Being an inventor had opened your eyes, so many possibilities with creating things you realize heros will need. Some quirks can’t be regulated without support items which means you would be a vital part of history!

And some quirks weren’t hard to replicate. In a way you could research quirks and make your own. You had so many plans and ideas to share, especially after taking your first step in your classroom.

You felt your heart racing, transferring a month into school was stressful, everyone already knew each other and probably had clicks.

The support course, you were able to branch off after your main classes into the little indoor laboratories or whatever they’re called to create. Of course of of them were taken, two people in one garage.

Of course you were lucky enough to have one more spot so you didn’t have to walk across the entire school to get to an empty one. The teacher had told you that your partner will be a girl since of your record.

You nervously approach the lab, a box of blueprints and tools in your hands and you push the door open to see a girl with a big smile on her face laughing maniacally while creating her creations.

“My babies will be perfect! After I showcase these babies they’ll have to recruit me and buy my precious babies!” The pink haired girl cheered holding one of her ‘babies’ in the air.

You simply sneak into the room, making your way to the long desk across the room. Surprisingly it was empty, you thought since she was alone she’d take up the whole space.

“Hiya!” You felt a hand suddenly on your shoulder making you scream. “Oh my god!” You drop your box on the desk turning around to see the pink haired girl who had grime all over her face smiling at you.

“I was told a female transfer student will need space! So I kicked the guy who was in here outta here!! Of course I wanna work with a girl! We can create precious babies together! By the way the names Mei Hatsume! Wanna see some of my babies!? Oo what’s in here!” The girl was spouting so much you couldn’t even comprehend anything she was saying, everything was happening so fast.

It kind of reminded you of Izuku.

“Oh! That’s just my blueprints…I wanna see if I can replicate complicated quirks maybe even see if you can like I dunno…change some? An example would be if Mount lady could control her size! It would be super useful especially when navigating a large city with cramped roads. Mount lady would-“ you cut yourself off as you saw the girl listening intently, you face flushing realizing you were rambling like Izuku normally would.

“That’s a brilliant idea! Me and you are gonna get along just fine! You’re also just in time for the sports festival! It’s literally in 2 days!” She cheered helping you set up your side of the room.

Mei was a doll, you loved her bright energy and her ability to create was grand! You two spent the day going over blue prints and possible tools you could bring to the sports festival.

This is where you heard that class 1-A was the most popular class right now, the hero course. That’s where you could assume where Bakugou and Izuku was, well either 1-A or 1-B.

“Yeah that Bakugou guy is a real snob!” You flinch at the name, currently you were fetching some history books with a fellow classmate to stock up in your home room class.

“Yeah should’ve known class 1-A would be to egotistical. Only a select few get into the hero course.”

Class 1-A huh? You thought, spacing out at the thought of visiting Bakugou. He’s only a few halls away, you could totally just pop in. But we’re you ready?

“Ah!” You didn’t know what was happening, one minute you were walking with a stacks of books the next you were falling. Turns out a whole group of students starting bombarding the halls.

“What the hell!?” You look around, picking yourself up noticing the group of students making their way down the halls. “They late for class or?”

“Nah, they’re checkin out class 1-A, not only did they survive a real villian attack but in the sports festival they can switch you into the hero class if they see you fit for it. Meaning some kids, gonna get moved out.” Your class mate stated, helping you pick up your books that you had dropped.

“It’s not like I wanna get in so…-“ your class mate continued talking while you stared down the hall. Thoughts racing through your mind. You hadn’t seen Bakugou in months.

I wonder how he’s doing…

I’m just not ready.

The days before the sports festival past quickly, you told mei that you didn’t think you could participate in the sports festival due to your anxiety. She understood right away and told you she will represent your babies at the festival in your steed.

Mei was such a sweet girl, she always knew exactly what to say to you and how to make you feel better. You felt so lucky.

You watched from the area your class was assigned, you were basically the only one there as all the classes walked into the large stadium. You heart raced, you immediately could see the two you longed to see the most.

They haven’t changed. You smile watching as the classes line up to listen to the hero Midnight announce the rules and who’s going to sing the pledge.

“Bakugou Katsuki!” The skimpy suited hero yelled, unexpected. You thought that Katsuki would be the last person to represent a class, due to his very aggressive behavior. You simply watched as he walked up into the podium, hands stuck in his pockets.

“I just wanted to say. That I’m gonna win.”

Oh my god…

Your jaw drops and you cover your mouth, trying to hold your laughter in. God damn it Katsu! Honestly you should’ve known he’d do something like this, his bold confidence was something I’m you used to admire. Come to think of it you were doing fine seeing him.

MaybeI am ready…

But you just didn’t want to risk it, ruining your own life after another episode, you don’t think you would ever recover from another episode. Especially after finding your calling.

As the games went on, you watched the first event intently, seeing Bakugou fighting for first place gave you a rush of your own. You couldn’t help but be internally rooting for him.

Until you saw Izuku flying past the the two boys fighting for first place. Your eyes widen, like in slow motion you saw the boy you admired all your life. Izu..

You stood up in your chair, now you had no clue who to root for! Woah! Izu is so smart…he used the bombs to propel himself in front of the rest of them. He always was the smart one, you know instead of a hero he couldn’t taken the support course. With that brain he could make fine equipment for hero’s.

Your smile fades, how did he get into the hero course..? Only the best of the best, with quirks can get in…

Before your mind begins to race, you quickly calm yourself down, settling back in your seat to continue watching the race play out.

As the games went on, the Calvary battle gave you a good laugh watching Bakugou fly around and angrily yell at his teammates.

You smile as both your childhood friends made it to the finals, Bakugou was fighting a cute girl! And Izuku was fighting a todoroki. Well the only fights you were interested in paying any attention to, you kind of spaced out for the rest of the fights until theirs came.

Well of course you had a very good laugh when Mei toyed with that glasses guy!

Finally it was Bakugou’s fight, of course you were voting for him. Watching as he basically bullied the girl, her quirk…they said it was gravity right. Yknow if I had it I would. Then you realized what she was doing, looking up to see the broken pieces of the stage floating above the stadium.

I fucking love her. You thought excitedly, you kind of hoped this would work, the girl was tirelessly charging herself at your blonde haired friend. Hearing the crowd booing Bakugou broke your heart, not only for Bakugou but the fact that they’re totally underestimating this girl!

One of the announcers lectured the heros booing him, as the rocks came falling down, it was an amazing sight. Woah! The hero course is so…amazing. But with one blast Bakugou countered her attack basically ending the fight there after the girl collapsed due to exhaustion.

You felt a hand land on your shoulder startling you as you realize it was just Mei. “Did you see our babies Y/n! They did so good! Don’t worry if any agencies ask about them I’ll let them know you helped me too! And of course some of them are your design.” She cheered giving you the biggest hug as you watch Izuku step out onto the stage.

You tuned out the world during this fight, there was no way he was going to win. Especially without a quirk. Your memory remembered the time where he told you that he had a chance to get in. Does that mean…? No…so was he not quirkless? Did he find out he had one?

So he wasn’t like you?

As the fight when on, he managed to counter every attack which made your heart sink. Confirming your thoughts as you watch his bones break with each powerful use of his quirk.

He had a quirk? When? Since when did he get a quirk?

You didn’t know how or when. All you knew is that he wasn’t like you anymore, he wasn’t quirkless. A weakling it be pushed around all your life, a defenseless bug to be squashed underneath everyone’s feet.

Or was he just lying…did he lie about not having a quirk? Laughing behind your back all these years as he pretended to be your friend? Your alley? Your only hope? Your mind raced with thoughts you didn’t even know you had streams of tears rushing from your eyes down your face, Mei calling out your name.

Since you weren’t budging, staring at the fight as she Mei quickly rushed you out into a waiting room. “Is everything okay Y/n!?? What happened?” You snap back to reality, just breaking down in tears.

You felt like a fool. You felt so betrayed, your heart felt so broken in that very moment. You couldn’t be here anymore, you couldn’t.

“Did you hear?”

“Yeah some girl from the support course was in tears over this fight.”

“Heard it was a quirkless transfer.”

“I wonder what that was about.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes at the bumbling rumors going around the students, watching as Izuku and todoroki fought.

“Her name I think was.. Y/n L/n?” He immediately perked up, turning to the class that was sitting above them to try to listen closer. She must’ve saw Deku usin that stupid quirk. What a fuckin idiot. Katsuki clenched his fist, getting out of his seat to fines you.

He needed to see you.

At least one more time.

AN: maybe this will be a long term series I keep cutting off the romance 😭 IM SO SORRY I LOVE YOU GUYS Xoxo Stinmybubs

[cripple-punk-dad]

Once again feeling emotions about God, Forgive These Bastards: Songs From The Forgotten Life Of Henry Turner by The Taxpayers. I listened to the whole album not really knowing the background or the story behind the title. I just loved the music and the artist's voices. But then I found the explanation by the main vocalist on the album, Rob Taxpayer, and:

"The first time I met Henry Turner I feared for my life. I remember the exact date – February 18th, 2007 – because the day before, a close friend of mine had unsuccessfully attempted to commit suicide in his studio apartment and I’d spent the entire night at the hospital. It was one of those terrible and typical Pacific Northwest winter nights where the rain seemed relentless and the gloom was contagious, and as I waited at a sheltered bus stop on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard for the # 6 to arrive, a man approached me for a cigarette.

I shook my head and gave him a half-smile.

“Sorry. I quit a few years back.”

I stuck my head back into the newspaper I was reading, and he took a few steps closer.

“How about a buck and a quarter then? All I need is a dollar and a quarter and I’ll have enough for bus fair.”

I shrugged and fumbled around in my pocket.

“I’m using an expired bus transfer myself, but I might have a few extra dimes. It ain’t much, but if it helps, it’s yours.”

I passed him the change, and when he grabbed it, he ducked down to my level and looked me straight in the eyes.

“Look at me. Does it look like a few extra dimes would help? You think a few extra dimes would do any good to anybody? Take a look at me. I got a rotten heart and a bad shoulder and I ain’t slept a good night’s sleep in the past ten years, and you wanna know the kicker? I get fuckers like you tossing me their condescending extra dimes.”

He was tall and intimidating, with wild gray hair and deep wrinkle lines all across his face, and his eyes would occasionally roll up into his head, quiver, and then refocus. His thick, wet coat and his tangled beard had bits of crumpled leaves stuck to them, and he carried himself with the strange confidence of an angry and confused lion.

“And the best part about all of this is that I know you’re cheating me. And you know what I did to the last bastard that cheated me? “

He paused for a few silent, terrifying seconds.

“I bit his ear off.”

I almost pissed my pants. My brain was telling me, “get up and run”, but my body was frozen in fear, and I sat there shaking in excruciating silence. Sure, maybe he was harmless, but something about the look in his eyes terrified me. I could see the bus approaching from about a quarter of a mile away. I did the math. From that distance, it would be another minute or so before the bus arrived, saving me from certain death. I could try to fight back. But while he was an old man, he was an enormous old man, and anyways, you just can’t fight a crazy person. I could run. That was it. I was going to have to get up and run before he sunk his teeth into me, or pulled out a knife, or worse.

Suddenly, he burst into laughter. Not a maniacal laughter, but a booming, good-natured laughter, and his angry eyes became kind and warm. His snarl turned into a crooked smile, and he slapped me on the back like an old friend.

“Aw, I’m just fucking with you, kid. Ain’t much for laughs around here. You’ll have to forgive me.”

He held out his massive hand for me to shake.

“Henry Turner. Friends call me Hank. How ya doin'?”

I was still petrified. Was this some sort of a trick? Was he going to grab my hand and then snap it off like a tree branch? He looked me over and laughed again, reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out a bus pass.

“Here. This one ain’t expired. Go on, take it, I got a whole stack of ‘em.”

And with that, the bus pulled up to our stop in the rain, the doors opened with a loud mechanical sigh, and Henry held out both his arms, outstretched, in the direction of the doors.

“After you, kid.”

I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was a semi-celebrity around town, although most people wrote him off as just another one of the crazy folks that told rambling, drunken tales – amusing for a few minutes, but best largely avoided. It was true, he had his demons, but he also had a magical brilliant quality to him, and whenever I ran into him around town, I’d end up spending a few hours with him, if for no other reason than to listen to his unbelievable stories. It didn’t really matter whether they were true or not, it was the way he told them, with absolute clarity and confidence, no matter how crazy they sounded. Some of it even checked out. He’d often talk about his years playing baseball with Georgia Tech, and the famous play-off game where he pitched a two-hitter in 1979. When I got home, I went on the internet and looked up the Georgia Tech roster from 1979, and there he was. Henry Turner. I’ll be damned.

The years went by. I’d leave town for months at a time, but when I came home I could always expect to run into Henry for the latest news and a ridiculous tale. Businesses closed and new ones opened, houses changed ownership, new faces arrived and old ones disappeared, but he was like an ancient marble pillar – unaffected by the changes around him. Or so it seemed. In the winter of 2010, three years after we first met, I ran into Henry on one of the downtown park blocks. He was disheveled and had these crazy eyes, and when he recognized me, he touched me on the shoulder and said something to the effect of, “Gonna go away for a while. You’ll hold onto something for me, yeah?”. He reached into his coat pocket, pulled out a huge stack of unused bus passes, thrust them into my hands, and walked away. It was the last time I would see him.

Henry Turner died on March 25th, 2010, a product of years of substance abuse and tough living. If a funeral was held I wasn’t aware of it. The news of his death hit me harder than expected, and it sparked an obsession: I began compulsively writing down every outlandish and unbelievable story he’d ever told me, as a sort of tribute. My band started working on an album of songs pertaining to Henry’s life. My nights were spent researching everything I could find about the Turner family. I would rant on and on to complete strangers about the whole ordeal. Then slowly, it began to subside. Life went back to normal. Though I never quite forgot about it, my utter entrancement with the Turners faded.

What follows is an amalgamation of the stories Henry told me, as best as I can remember them. I hope I did him justice. There are some embellishments and I took quite a few liberties, but like all good narrators, Henry knew that any story worth telling should be grand, significant, and a little bit false. It’s important to note that Henry was no hero, and I’m not trying to romanticize or defend him – as you’ll find out, he was a murderer, an abusive husband, an unapologetic addict, and a crook who was haunted by his most awful moments. But he was also at times a tender, loving father, a brave adventurer, and an amazing pitcher, who was surprisingly candid and an absolute charm to listen to. No person can be summed up by their worst actions. And despite his insistence that “forgiveness ain’t an inherent human quality”, that’s what this whole thing’s been about for me: the capacity to forgive someone’s most wretched moments.

Ultimately, I think that when Henry was at his best, he was something simple: a kind, strange friend" -Rob Taxpayer, from The Taxpayer's Bandcamp page

Look at me look me in the eyes: "No person can be summed up by their worst actions" I'm broken I'm dead I'm deceased. The last track on the album is an interview with somebody who knew Henry as a child. It's about remembering someone that nobody else thinks about it's about preserving the memory of the jerks and the assholes and the addicts because everyone deserves to be remembered and to have songs sung about them and have their stories told in whatever way they can be told.

[gerrystamour]

here i have found some peace of mind [chapter six]

Rated E | Steddie

[ FIRST ] [ PREVIOUS ]

Finally, the boys meet... AKA, the Fuckening I'M SORRY THAT WAS TERRIBLE Once again, Steve is a transmasc character, I am a transmasc writer, I base his transness off of my own and so I refer to his anatomy the same way I refer to my own. Steve, like me, does not have bottom dysphoria and enjoys vaginal penetration. Also, Steve can't get pregnant and though it's not mentioned explicitly in the fic, it's because his tubes have been tied. CW: There is just a lot of smut in this chapter.

[ READ ON AO3 ]

for once in my life i feel alive

The crowd around Steve and Will was absolutely buzzing with excitement, already sweaty and ramped up from the openers. Despite getting to the arena a bit later than much of the crowd, Steve and Will managed to make it to the barrier, largely thanks to Will’s bony elbows.

Even though Steve had no experience with metal outside of Corroded Coffin’s music, he could respect the energy the opening bands brought with them. It was all just a bit noisy for Steve, and the yelling made it hard to understand the words, but overall, he could enjoy it.

“The words aren’t the point, Steve,” Will said with a snort when Steve complained aloud to him about it.

“Then why even bother having lyrics?” Steve snapped back, rolling his eyes as he watched the curtains that had been dropped around the stage from a rig above them while it was set for Corroded Coffin.

“You read the lyrics later after you feel the emotion first,” Will explained and Steve let out a huff.

“Yeah, well the feeling I get listening to unintelligible screaming is annoyance,” he said with a teasing grin, nudging Will with his elbow as the lights dimmed.

With the lights lowering, the low din around them increased to a roar. If Steve thought the energy of the crowd was insane before, he didn’t have words to describe it now. Steve had been to concerts before, but he couldn’t say any of them had this level of engagement from the crowd before the music even started.

The arena grew so dark that only the emergency exit lights and the screens of phones were visible in the darkness, and if Steve hadn’t been so close, he wouldn’t have been able to see the curtain being raised. When a low, sustained guitar tone began to play, the noise from the crowd immediately dropped easily by half, just as a red spotlight lit up the center of the stage where there now sat an ornate altar.

And Eddie was on top of the altar, standing with his head thrown back, letting the tension build, his guitar hanging from its strap around his neck, slung low on his hips. Tilting his head forward to flash a toothy, almost maniacal grin at the crowd, he began to sing, soft and almost mournful.

Steve felt his breath leave him in one swift gust.

The thing was that Steve knew Eddie was talented. He knew the man could sing and he knew he could do it well. To hear it live, however, and in what was clearly Eddie’s element? That was something else entirely.

Suddenly, another spotlight shone on the stage, illuminating Grant as a quick bass line started up, slowly building in volume until the whole stage was lit up and the rest of the band joined in. It was loud, but amazing, just Jeff and Eddie practically dueling with their guitars while Gareth went crazy on the drums atop the platform behind Eddie’s altar.

The guitar battle bled so seamlessly into the next song that Steve almost missed the transition, and in the end only truly realized that the song changed because the lighting itself did.

The whole band was wearing outfits like the costumes they wore in the music video Steve watched, with dark, skin-tight leather pants and elaborate horns. A big notable change, however, was the brace that Eddie wore on his leg so he could stand for a bit without using his cane for longer. There was a sturdy mic stand on the altar that was built with a hook where Eddie’s cane hung from its wrist strap.

Once Eddie started singing again, however, Steve was swept up in the performance and energy of the crowd. He’d done quite a bit of listening to the newest album, making sure he knew the lyrics of the newest stuff well enough to not stand out too much in the crowd.

A lot of the guitar work was carried by Jeff as well as another person that Steve knew was not actually in the band. Steve remembered a few Tour Diaries that explained that while Eddie did all of the rhythm guitar lines on the studio version of the album, that was only because the recording timeline allowed for him to play guitar and recover. While touring, Eddie had to be careful so he didn’t trigger his nerve pain, so he only played guitar during certain songs, and even then only for specific parts.

Throughout the next several songs, Eddie was standing atop the altar, holding onto the mic stand with his guitar hanging around his neck as he swung his hips with the beat. The move was slow, sensual, even during the heavier moments and had Steve flushed and breathless. Luckily with how hot and sweaty he was just from being surrounded by hundreds of shouting and singing people, his reaction to Eddie’s hips practically grinding against a guitar wouldn’t be obvious.

Behind the band were two huge screens that seemed to alternate between live shots of the band and scenes from the music videos, and every time the cameras were on a specific member, they always knew exactly what camera to be looking at. Once again, the comments the boys made about ‘complicated choreography’ came back to Steve and he found himself feeling more and more impressed with them.

Naturally, Eddie’s relationship with the camera work was electric, the way he was so tuned into how good he looked, what his best angle was, how to stare down the camera, his little hand motions to the camera. The best one (while simultaneously being the worst) was a sultry come-hither motion with one finger during a song that Steve was fairly certain was about having sex in a cemetery.

The band played through the first five full songs before the lighting changed and the band took a break. It wasn’t obvious as a break, the band just stopping their actual playing while a quiet, ominous backing track continued. Gareth was chugging a bottle of water while Jeff wandered across the stage to stand closer to the other guitarist.

Turning his attention back to Eddie, Steve actually met the man’s gaze and gasped. Eddie was leaning on his cane, his guitar swung around to his back, giving the crowd an uninterrupted view of the long, perfect line of his body. With the way their eyes were locked, though, it was as if this whole performance was for Steve alone.

Chuckling into the mic, Eddie tore his gaze away and looked around the arena. “Good evening, Chicago!” he called, his grin nothing but teeth and dimples when the crowd roared back. “How’s everyone feeling tonight?”

The crowd exploded with excitement, somehow even louder than the first response.

“See, I’m feeling great tonight. This show’s a little bit different,” Eddie continued, shifting his weight carefully between his feet as Jeff wandered back to his spot on the stage. The crowd screamed back excitedly, and Eddie met Steve’s eyes briefly before he added with a smirk, “Got someone special in the crowd.”

To Steve’s utter disbelief, what sounded like half of the arena began wailing ‘Steve,’ making the entirety of the band laugh loudly. Steve’s entire face felt impossibly hot as Eddie looked back at him with a tiny wink.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve laughed, covering his mouth when Will looked over at him with a look that was somehow both sympathetic and jealous.

All of the people surrounding Will and him were joining in with the inside-joke with the band, and also looking around desperately as if they could actually find the elusive “Steve” from the Tour Diaries.

Gareth was squinting around at the crowd before he leaned over to his mic. “The hell are y’all looking around for?” he asked flatly, and the crowd just shouted back Steve’s name. “You don’t even know what he looks like!”

“Leave ‘em alone, they’re just excited,” Eddie said to Gareth as Jeff smirked and started playing his guitar, the backing track quieting as the lighting dimmed again. “It’s your fault they’re like this anyway.”

There was a bit more banter, but Steve had all but tuned it out as he watched Eddie goof off with his friends. They seamlessly shifted into another intricate guitar moment, one that Eddie took part in, even taking the lead at one point. He and Jeff had effortless chemistry on the stage, easily switching back and forth, never fumbling as far as Steve’s untrained ear could tell.

As Jeff took over the guitar solo, Eddie swung his guitar around to his back and held onto the mic with both hands. “This next song is Dark Altar,” he said in a low, sultry voice, and Steve cheered along with the crowd. Eddie was looking at him again, smirking as he added, “This one’s for you, Stevie.”

Then Eddie winked, and Steve was pretty sure he would’ve crawled up there to kiss that smug look off Eddie’s face if it wasn’t for the security guard standing just ahead of him.

Eddie was intense throughout the song, holding onto the mic stand and grinding his hips against the pole of it, throwing his head back and even groaning out some of the lyrics. Behind him, scenes from the music video played on the huge screens, including the scene of all of them with the priest. However, the shot was held longer, letting Steve see it in all its glory without squinting at the fuzzy frame on his phone. It was impossibly sexy, and once again Steve had the very vivid fantasy of being in the priest’s place.

The rest of the concert was a blur, Steve’s thoughts completely occupied with how good Eddie looked, how good he sounded, and how much Steve wanted him. He was vibrating with his excitement as every song brought him closer to the moment he met Eddie, face-to-face and in-person. It seemed like Eddie was just as excited, his eyes finding Steve’s every few moments. A few of those times, Eddie would reach down and grab himself, as if he was adjusting his erection in his pants, which drove the crowd insane almost as much as it did to Steve.

As Jeff and Grant chatted one final time with the audience ahead of the last two songs on the setlist, Eddie was carefully assisted down from the altar by a stage tech. Eddie stopped them before they could walk away and gestured vaguely in Steve’s direction while saying something close to their ear. The stage tech glanced over, squinting against the lights and frowning at him until Steve did a little wave. The stage tech smirked, turned back to Eddie and said something back that earned them a small shove and a laugh before the tech walked off.

Honestly, the moment was so short and quick that Steve was certain that he only really noticed it because he was completely focused on Eddie.

Now that Eddie was set up on the stage rather than the altar, he was closer almost as if he was in reach. With a jolt as the music started again in full swing, Steve realized that this was the closest they had been to each other. The second to last song started slow, Eddie singing almost sweetly for the first verse. Steve gazed up at Eddie, watching him sing and rock to the music, his eyes shut.

It was captivating, watching him feel the music like that, and Steve imagined a moment this sweet and intimate somewhere else. He imagined sleepy mornings with Eddie singing softly while making a pot of coffee, and Steve felt faint with the strength of his want.

When the song picked up, it didn’t lessen Steve’s want at all, especially as Eddie actually took lead guitar through the solo, his look of concentration intense. Steve couldn’t help but imagine Eddie sitting on his couch, guitar in his lap while he figured out a melody. Something soft and quiet, domestic even, that had Steve’s heart aching.

By the time the last song began to play, Steve was spiraling with his feelings for Eddie that he knew were too much for what was probably possible for them. It didn’t help that Eddie seemed determined to stare down directly at Steve, holding Steve’s gaze through the entire song, only breaking eye contact when he took the lead through the guitar solo once again.

Taking a deep breath, Steve shouted along with the crowd as the song came to a close and the curtain lowered around the stage again.

Before Steve could properly shake himself out of his thoughts to figure out with Will where they were supposed to go now, the security guard in front of them stepped up to the barrier.

“Come with me, please,” he said to them both, motioning down toward the end of the barrier where there was a space to slip behind it.

Glancing at each other with raised eyebrows, Steve and Will followed as quickly as they could with the crowd still milling about and reluctant to leave just yet.

❖

Steve and Will sat in one of the fancy lounges overlooking the arena below, each of them too excited to actually sit down on the couches. If Steve was honest, he kept looking at the couches and remembering the filth Eddie moaned and he needed to stop getting so flustered about it.

With the security guard escorting them, they were the first ones to the room, even ahead of the band, which was likely Eddie’s plan. They would have a few minutes of semi-privacy before the other fans with the VIP tickets were allowed in to actually meet face to face.

“Steve, you’re pacing,” Will said stiffly and Steve immediately stopped moving, looking back at him. To his surprise, Will looked like he was about to freak out, picking at his thumbnail and bouncing. “You’re making me nervous.”

“Wh-why? I’m sorry, I’ll try to stop, just what’s up man?” Steve asked, immediately crossing the lounge to stand with Will.

“I dunno, just got all tense with the adrenaline dropping, I guess. Freaking out because this is literally my favourite band, like, what if they suck as people?” Will said in a rush, then immediately added, “Like, what if they think I’m weird and annoying especially if I can’t even say anything to them?”

“Will, dude, no one is gonna think you’re annoying, okay? Everyone loves you and so will the guys,” Steve said, grabbing Will’s shoulder firmly. Then, with a cheeky grin Steve added, “And hey, I have some connections with the band, so I can tell you with absolute certainty that they do not suck as people.”

Will laughed at that, shoving Steve gently, especially when he reached up to ruffle his hair. “Dude, fuck off,” Will laughed, swatting Steve’s hand away.

“Yeugh, you’re so sweaty,” Steve complained, wiping his hand off on Will’s chest.

Just as they stepped apart, the door of the lounge opened and Eddie practically clambered through it, grinning and breathless as he crossed the lounge to Steve. Will immediately took a huge step back with a loud, almost disbelieving laugh as Eddie stumbled into Steve’s space.

The air seemed to leave the room as Eddie fisted his hands in the front of Steve’s shirt, pulling him in so close they were almost pressed flush against each other.

Steve stared at him, wide-eyed and smiling, taking in the details of Eddie’s face that he didn’t get to see in the video calls. Like the beginnings of crow’s feet at the corners of Eddie’s deep brown eyes, and just how rich those brown eyes were, or the silver strands of hair shot sparsely through the brown. Eddie still had some of his make-up on his face, clearly only washing up enough to get the bulk off but leaving patches of foundation and dark body paint near his hairline and on his throat.

Eddie was so beautiful and real that Steve felt like he might start to cry about it. They were finally together, in the same room and in the same space, breathing the same air and so close to kissing it was driving Steve insane. With a soft, pleading sound just for Eddie, Steve tilted his mouth up and Eddie let out a gusty breath.

“We shouldn’t,” Eddie said quietly, his hands tightening in Steve’s shirt as he went to pull back. “You know we couldn’t handle it.”

Steve laughed, tilting his head back to groan at the ceiling. “Christ, you think we’re that bad?” he asked. When he lowered his eyes to look back at Eddie through his lashes, the man was staring at the column of his throat with something that could only be described as hunger.

“I for sure am,” Eddie admitted after a moment, licking his lips and turning his attention to Steve’s face. “Wanna wait ‘til we won’t be interrupted, okay, sweetheart?”

“Y-yeah, sounds perfect,” Steve managed to stumble out, finally putting his hands on Eddie’s waist and hooking his fingers into the belt loops there. “Can’t believe this is actually happening.”

“Jesus H Christ, me neither,” Eddie laughed breathlessly, and Steve felt himself swoon over his dimples all over again. “When I saw you at the barrier, thought I was fucking dreaming, like genuinely thought I fell off the stage and was in a fucking coma.”

“Alright boys, put some space between you two before security comes in with the other fans,” Chrissy said as she stepped up beside them.

With a sad sound, Eddie let go of Steve’s shirt and stepped out of his space. “I’m gonna sit down, care to join me?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows at Steve as he carefully lowered himself onto the couch. With a content groan, Eddie slipped his cane off of his wrist to lay it across his lap, then stretched his leg out in front of him.

Steve quickly sat down with Eddie, even if his mind was immediately in the gutter about it. Eddie smirked at him, as if he could hear Steve’s thoughts, and stretched an arm across the back of the couch behind Steve, letting his fingertips rest gently on Steve’s shoulder.

Looking up at Will, Eddie beamed at him. “Hey, man, you must be Will! I’ve heard you’re a big fan, yeah?” he greeted, and Steve could have sworn the whole room heated up with the force of Will’s blush.

But of course, Will immediately fell into a natural rhythm chatting with Eddie, and soon they were passionately discussing Dungeons & Dragons.

That was when the couch on the other side of Steve dipped with the weight of someone else. Looking over, he was faced with Jeff while Gareth and Grant stayed standing, all of them eying Steve thoughtfully.

“It’s great to finally meet you, Steve,” Jeff said warmly, holding a hand up to offer a handshake. “I’m Jeff, by the way.”

Steve laughed and accepted the handshake. “I know,” he admitted with a shrug. “Eddie talked a lot about you guys, and I watched the videos.”

Gareth laughed. “Oh, I know you have,” he said smugly, and Jeff rolled his eyes.

“Gareth keeps saying he got you and Eddie back together,” Grant explained at Steve’s questioning look. “Because of the Steve Spotting montages.”

Snorting, Steve rolled his eyes. Before he could respond though, the door opened and a handful of fans entered the lounge, all of them bubbling with excitement. Without hesitation, Gareth and Grant crossed the room to start engaging with them, and a few brave fans approached the couch to talk with Jeff. Eventually a fan interjected with Eddie and Will’s conversation (which sounded more like an argument about the validity of experience points versus milestones with leveling up a party), and Eddie changed gears instantly.

It was actually alarming for Steve, and even Will looked a bit taken aback. Eddie was, of course, absolutely pleasant with the person and on the whole, he was engaged with their questions and giving polite answers. But his smile didn’t quite have his dimples, and his entire demeanour shifted to that sultry, almost seductive stage persona. What was wild to Steve is that the fan didn’t even seem phased that Eddie seemed to become a completely different person.

Steve was startled out of his thoughts when someone tapped on his shoulder. Craning his head back, he frowned at the security guard looking down at him sternly.

“You can’t be sitting on the couch with the band members,” the man said quietly, and Steve made a face but decided not to make a scene about it. He would have plenty of time with Eddie later, so it was fine.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Steve said with a pleasant smile, and he started to get up but Eddie’s hand slid down to properly hold his shoulder firmly.

“He’s allowed to be here,” Eddie said, looking back at the security guard with a good-natured smile.

The security guard almost seemed to puff up at that. “Fans can’t be on the couch with you, Mr. Munson, even if you say so,” he said even more sternly, almost condescendingly.

“Eddie, it’s okay—” Steve started, but Eddie just squeezed his shoulder once.

“He’s not a fan,” he said, his eyes flicking to the guard’s badge, before meeting his eyes again. The expression on Eddie’s face was dark, challenging even. “He’s my boyfriend. Leave him alone.”

The security guard jolted back at the same moment Steve turned to look at Eddie with wide eyes. The security guard was apologizing, fumbling through it and Eddie was shooing him away, but all Steve was able to hear was Eddie calling him his boyfriend. Heat filled Steve, and not even just in the sense of lust. He felt warmed all the way to his toes, that maybe this wasn’t just going to be casual and fun, that even for Eddie it was serious.

“Gotta go, love, see you later.”

Remembering that term of endearment from just a few hours before had Steve blushing even more, and maybe grinning like an idiot.

When the security guard walked away, Eddie leaned close to Steve’s ear and said lowly, “I hope that was okay. Sometimes these rent-a-pigs get full of themselves and try to boss us around.”

Steve laughed and nodded. “Yeah, Eds, that was fine,” he replied, and when Eddie pulled back, his expression was so fond and affectionate that Steve wanted to hide from it. Instead, he just smiled and said, “We’ll talk about it more at our date, yeah?”

Eddie just laughed and nodded. “Fuck yeah, we will,” he laughed.

“Is this Steve?” one of the fans nearby asked, and suddenly all the strangers in the lounge whipped around to look directly at Steve. Will snorted, covering his mouth to hide his laughter.

“Hi,” he said weakly the attention, waving jerkily. He blanched when someone lifted their phone as if to take a picture of him, but then his sight was obstructed by Jeff’s head when the man sat carefully in his lap, effectively blocking any pictures anyone tried to take.

“No pics of Stevie, please!” Eddie announced to the room, patting Jeff’s shoulder in thanks. “He’s shy.”

“’M not shy, just not really ready for thirty random people to have pictures of me on their phones,” Steve said quietly, grinning when Eddie and Jeff both laughed.

The group of people all decided to back off when it was clear that Jeff wasn’t going to get out of the way. Soon enough, they were all distracted surrounding Grant and Gareth while they demonstrated some elaborate secret handshake they were making up on the spot.

Eddie patted Jeff on the back. “Alright, man, your work here is done,” he said, making a frustrated noise when Jeff just snuggled in tighter against Steve’s chest. “Dude, thanks but get off my boyfriend’s lap.”

“Nah, I don’t think I will. It’s a comfy lap,” Jeff sighed, tipping his head back to rest on Steve’s shoulder to grin sidelong at him. “You got a problem with me sitting here, Steve?”

With a smirk, Steve wound his arms around Jeff’s waist and said, “Nope, all good, man.”

“Steve,” Eddie whined loudly, which drew the attention of some of the fans again, and they all broke out into a chorus of wailing “Steeeeve”s that had Gareth nearly collapsing to his knees with laughter.

The rest of the meet-and-greet went by relatively uneventfully. Will ended up sitting on the couch across from Eddie and restarted their earlier argument about various DM things, which got a bit rowdy when one of the other fans wandered over and joined the discussion. Eventually, Chrissy returned to the lounge and announced that it was time for anyone to get the autographs they wanted as the boys had to head out shortly.

At that point, Steve got off the couch to make room for the boys, watching them all quickly sign the items that fans handed them. As the fans had their things signed and were ushered out, Steve eyed the security guard from earlier a bit warily as the guard beckoned for Will to leave immediately after getting his stuff signed.

“Just give us a minute, I’m his ride,” Steve called a bit smugly, and the security guard dropped his hand huffily.

Soon enough, it was just Will and him with the band, and Chrissy was gathering them all up to return to the bus. When Eddie stood up, Steve stepped into his space with a little smirk, hooking a finger into his belt loop again.

“Mr. Munson, I was hoping for an autograph,” Steve said quietly, just loud enough for Eddie to hear, batting his eyelashes up at him.

Eddie blinked down at him, his cheeks turning pink before his expression turned hungry. “Did you, now? What’d you want signed, gorgeous?” he asked.

Steve made a show of looking around shyly. “Can’t show you in front of everyone,” he said softly, sweetly even. He couldn’t help the smirk when Eddie’s nostrils flared with his next slow breath in.

“How about you meet me back at my hotel, baby, I’ll give you something better than my autograph,” Eddie suggested, his tone downright guttural he was speaking so low.

Steve pouted. “You know I can’t go back to your hotel,” he whined, and Eddie cursed.

“Then the bus. I’ll wait for you on the bus where we’re parking it. I’ll give you your autograph there,” Eddie corrected, reaching up to cup Steve’s cheek softly.

“I’ll be there, promise,” Steve said as he tilted his face up as if to ask for a kiss. This time, it looked like Eddie was going to give in to the impulse, so Steve grinned and stepped back. Eddie’s gaze was heated and locked on his as Steve walked backward to the door. “See you, Eds.”

Without waiting for his response, Steve turned around and practically dragged Will out of the lounge, giggling almost deliriously.

“So, what were you saying about it not being serious, Steve?” Will asked knowingly, his arms crossed.

“Oh, shut up, Byers. Not a word to Robin,” Steve said breathlessly.

“Already texted her. Literally the moment he called you his boyfriend,” Will said.

“Ugh, traitor,” Steve groused, knowing he would hear so much shit about that the moment he got home.

❖

When Steve arrived at the tour bus, he was nearly shaking with his need to finally touch Eddie. He had parked his own car in the staff parking at the airport and walked to the oversized lot, excitement overcoming a lot of his nerves.

Opening the door, Steve climbed up the steps and found Eddie waiting, leaning against the kitchenette. He was in comfier clothes, a tank top and sweatpants, and Steve’s mouth watered at the sight of Eddie’s cock tenting the front of those pants.

Without a word, Steve crowded into Eddie’s space, pressing his lips and nose under Eddie’s jaw, mouthing at the skin there and tasting the salt of his sweat. Eddie let out a happy groan, wrapping his arms around Steve and grabbing his ass, hauling him in closer as Steve bit and sucked marks into Eddie’s skin.

“You’re so pushy,” Eddie groaned thickly into the air and Steve chuckled, licking a stripe up Eddie’s throat and nibbling on his earlobe.

“You’ve no idea,” Steve whispered before dropping heavily to his knees at Eddie’s feet and pulling at the drawstring of his sweatpants.

Eddie laughed almost incredulously as Steve yanked his clothes out of the way, a hand burying itself in Steve’s hair. “Shit, baby, did you come here with a plan?” he asked, and the sound he made when Steve mouthed at his cock through his boxers would live in Steve’s mind forever.

“Kind of. Just been thinking about getting my mouth on this since this morning,” Steve admitted as he found the head of Eddie’s cock through the fabric and sucked, moaning when the hand in his hair tightened roughly.

“Get to it then, sweetheart,” Eddie managed as he pulled Steve away by his hair, shoving his boxers down off his hips. “Don’t have all night.”

Steve shivered at the bossy tone, spreading his legs as he felt a gush of slick coat his boxers. He was looking up at Eddie’s face, pointedly ignoring the hard cock in front of him, as he asked, “What’s the rush?”

“The band’s operating on a tight schedule, sweet thing,” Eddie replied, smirking down at Steve as he brought back their little game from the lounge.

Steve moaned as a flash of heat lanced through his core and he finally looked down at his prize. The sound that was punched out of Steve was the furthest thing from dignified, but he refused to be embarrassed by it. The video Steve had been treated to that morning did nothing to prepare him for the real thing.

Eddie’s cock wasn’t huge, definitely a very easy length to take into his mouth and throat, but it was still big. More, it was thick in a way that made Steve’s jaw ache just thinking about wrapping his lips around it. Just like the rest of Eddie, his cock was solid and broad, perhaps in a way that most people wouldn’t expect. Lifting a hand up to wrap around it, Steve whined as his middle finger could barely reach his thumb.

“Not even fucking you with it yet, and you’re already singing for me?” Eddie teased, his voice thick with want, and Steve felt dizzy with the mention of being fucked. His cunt and dick throbbed, and he swore he could feel the beginnings of an orgasm already building in his gut.

Instead of answering, Steve took Eddie into his mouth, testing just how deep he could take him in one go. The weight of Eddie on his tongue, the spread of his jaw to accommodate his girth, had Steve groaning around him and pressing forward until he felt close to his gag reflex. Steve’s mouth was so full, and yet he hadn’t taken all of it in. Furrowing his brow, Steve was determined to swallow this perfect, fat cock by the end of the night.

Sliding back slowly, Steve swirled his tongue along the bottom vein and sucked noisily, the sound of it obscenely wet with how much spit was pooling under his tongue. Steve moaned and focused on the head, sucking gently while tonguing the slit to lap up the stream of precum leaking from it. Eddie’s other hand joined the first in Steve’s hair as he let out a low sound, and Steve looked up through his lashes to meet his gaze as he slowly took his cock back into his mouth.

Eddie’s eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open as he panted, soft sounds accompanying each hard exhale. When Steve paused as the head nudged at his soft palate and hummed, Eddie dropped his head back against the cabinet with a hard thud and a proper whimper.

“Fuck, baby, feels so good,” Eddie gasped, and Steve whined at the praise.

Pulling back a bit, Steve took a deep breath and pushed forward, opening his throat and pushing until his nose and lips were buried in the coarse hair at the base of Eddie’s cock. The weight of Eddie in his mouth and throat, the ache in his jaw and the way his throat was constricting, trying to push Eddie out or take him deeper, was intoxicating. Steve didn’t want to pull back off, even as he felt the gag coming, felt his whole body tensing, tears streaming down his cheeks. Choking, Steve finally pulled back, swallowing hard against the dry-heave and gasping for breath as his lips rested against the head of Eddie’s cock.

Looking back up at Eddie, Steve felt pinned by the heated stare he was under, Eddie’s nostrils flared and his mouth wet and red and hanging open with his sounds.

With a desperate sound, Steve went to work, fucking his face on Eddie’s thick cock with an enthusiasm he couldn’t remember ever having about sucking dick. Every few plunges, Steve would gag and choke, but he refused to let it stop him. Steve felt wet everywhere, with tears on his cheeks, spit coating his chin and throat, and his slick soaking through his boxers. It was filthy and perfect, and Steve wanted to add Eddie’s cum to the mess so desperately he buried his nose into the hair at the base again, swallowing around the fat head and not even pulling back when he gagged at first.

“Whoa, whoa, hold on, baby,” Eddie gasped through the litany of sobbing moans, pulling on Steve’s hair until he finally pulled back, his mouth slipping off Eddie’s cock with a wet pop.

“Why are you stopping me?” Steve complained, his voice hoarse in a way that made his own dick twitch.

“Gonna come if you keep that up, baby,” Eddie gasped, reaching up to wipe beads of sweat off his forehead and push his hair back out of his face.

“I want you to come in my throat,” Steve said firmly, his pout relaxing when Eddie groaned.

“Jesus H Christ, you’re really wanting me to come only five minutes in?” Eddie laughed, his face red with his blush.

“Yeah, if it’s in my throat,” Steve repeated, but when he tried to get his mouth on Eddie’s cock again, the hands in his hair stopped him. With a sob, Steve whined, “Eddie, please.”

“Babe, I adore your enthusiasm, holy shit, I’m just—” Eddie paused to take a deep breath, settling down a bit and Steve took that time to try and cool off as well.

“I know I said we didn’t have all night, but that was part of the roleplay, yeah? We absolutely do not need to rush any of this,” Eddie finally said, staring wide-eyed at Steve at his feet.

“Can you get hard again if you come right now?” Steve asked, swallowing and wiping his chin off, trying not to feel too smug when Eddie had to close his eyes and take another calming breath.

“Yeah, I can—it might take a bit, but I can definitely get hard again,” Eddie finally answered, sliding a hand down to hold Steve’s cheek, smearing his thumb through the tears and spit on his skin. “Feel like I’ve been hard for a week.”

“Same,” Steve moaned, fluttering his lashes up at Eddie. “Please, Eds, fuck my mouth on your cock. Want you at the back of my throat when you come, even if I choke on it.”

Eddie took a sharp breath, his hands tightening in Steve’s hair. “You sure, baby?” he asked, and the check-in touched Steve.

Instead of answering with words, Steve opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out a bit, whining softly as he nodded.

This time Eddie dragged Steve forward, feeding him his cock and guiding his head with rough tugs of his hair. Steve was in heaven, his eyes rolling back as he relaxed his throat as much as possible, timing his breaths, and gagging every time he messed up the rhythm. It was perfect, amazing even, and he wrapped an arm around Eddie’s thighs as he lifted the other hand to squeeze and tug gently at Eddie’s balls.

When Eddie sobbed prettily, Steve slid his hand further back to play with his taint, and his hand froze as he felt small metal balls just behind his sac. With a groan, Steve investigated what felt like a short ladder of curved barbells, three of them, down Eddie’s taint. Steve was overwhelmed with the fantasy of feeling them under his tongue, even as he gagged and choked on Eddie’s cock. Curling his finger, Steve rested the length of it along Eddie’s perineum, his knuckle resting just before his hole, and pressed.

The reaction was beautiful.

Eddie practically shouted, his moan a punched-out sob as he threw his head back and dragged Steve’s mouth onto his cock to the hilt. Steve had taken a deep breath, so he worked to keep his throat open around the head of Eddie’s cock while he massaged his taint, pulling all manner of whimpering pleas from the man above him.

With another shattered moan, Eddie shuddered and pulsed against Steve’s tongue, and Steve choked as the first shot hit the back of his throat. Tightening his grip around Eddie’s thighs, Steve didn’t let him pull him back, taking each pump of cum straight down his throat, tears streaming down his face as he gagged again. Needing to breathe, Steve pulled back, and his mouth filled with the rest of Eddie’s hot, salty load.

Eddie let out a whine and dragged Steve back to the hilt before he could swallow, and Steve felt a mouthful of cum and spit spill over his chin and down his throat. He hadn’t been ready for the way Eddie would bottom out again so quickly, so he choked and more of the mess of spit and cum in his mouth splattered in the coarse hair his mouth and nose were pressed into. Eddie didn’t relent, holding Steve there while he whimpered through the aftershocks of his orgasm, his cock slowly softening against Steve’s tongue.

When Steve gagged again, that seemed to snap Eddie out of it and he pulled Steve off of his cock.

Steve gasped desperately, his whole body shaking as he swallowed down a cough. “Holy shit,” he said, or at least tried to but his voice was gone it seemed. Swallowing again, he moaned at the salty aftertaste that coated his tongue, his cunt throbbing with need.

“Jesus Christ, Steve, how is it you never mentioned you give head like you’re fucking made for it?” Eddie panted, his voice high as he swallowed hard, trying to catch his breath.

“Flatterer,” Steve managed to choke out, blushing.

“Steve, you just sucked my soul out of my cock, don’t be fucking modest,” Eddie laughed, lifting his hands to dig the heels of his palms into his eyes. “We didn’t even make it to my bunk, Steve. I had everything set up, then you came in here and got on your knees like the perfect wet dream you are, and you’re gonna act like you don’t know exactly how good you are?”

Steve was beside himself at the praise, his dick so hard against his soaked boxers he could hardly stand it.

When Eddie finally looked back down at him, he let out a soft moan and Steve could see his cock give a valiant twitch. Steve preened under the implied praise, sliding his fingers up through the mess cooling on his throat and chin and sucking them into his mouth. It was filthy, and if it wasn’t for the hunger that darkened Eddie’s expression, Steve would’ve been embarrassed for doing it at all.

“We need to get horizontal if we wanna keep going, Stevie,” Eddie gasped, and Steve noticed for the first time how much Eddie’s leg was shaking.

“Oh, shit, sorry—” Steve started, his face growing hot.

“Do not apologize for giving me literally the best orgasm in my entire life,” Eddie interrupted, and Steve grabbed his leg and slung it over his shoulder. “Fuck, baby, see there you are being sweet and shit—why are you still down there anyway, big boy?”

“Honestly, I’m so fucking wet right now, I’m afraid to move,” Steve admitted, but it was only partially true. He mostly just liked looking up at Eddie when he was like that, soft with post-orgasm bliss and blushing.

“Jesus, you can’t just say that shit to me—I need you to get into my bunk while I sort my brain out. Through the curtain there, bottom one on the left,” Eddie said in a rush, covering his eyes again while he took a deep breath.

Smirking, Steve carefully slipped away and disappeared behind the curtain. He could hear Eddie muttering to himself back near the kitchenette—“He has to be a demon, an incubus or something, he can’t actually be real.”—and Steve couldn’t help his self-satisfied grin. Eddie hadn’t said anything about how he wanted Steve, so he quickly stripped out of his clothes, using his shirt to wipe off his chin a bit, before crawling into Eddie’s bunk. As a final touch, Steve closed the privacy curtains on the bunk and lounged back, spreading his legs lewdly.

As he heard Eddie shuffle through the curtain to the bunks and start removing his own clothes, Steve laced his fingers behind his head and arched his back, spreading his legs even wider and tipping his head back to look at the ceiling of the bunk.

“Why’d you close the curtain, Ste-eeve oh my God.”

Steve looked down his nose at Eddie who had just opened the curtains and was halfway in the bunk. His eyes were tracking the line of Steve’s body, his cheeks turning pink as they landed and froze on his cunt.

“See something you like, Eds?” Steve asked sweetly, lowering his hand to run two fingers along the slit of his hole, separating the lips and shaking as he felt more slick trickle out. Framing his dick with his fingers, he gently squeezed and tugged, shuddering with a soft moan.

Eddie clambered into the bunk, barely reacting when he very obviously hit his own head on the top of the opening. Before Steve could react fully, Eddie was on his stomach between his legs, using his face to push Steve’s hand out of the way. As Steve pulled his hand back, Eddie strained upward and caught his fingers in his mouth, sucking them deep and groaning.

Breathlessly, Steve pushed them as deep as he could without gagging Eddie, pressing down on his tongue when Eddie’s eyes rolled back with a moan. That was very interesting, and Steve would be happy to investigate that another time. Gently, he pulled his fingers out of Eddie’s mouth and buried them in his hair, firmly guiding Eddie’s face between his legs.

Without hesitation, Eddie took Steve’s dick into his mouth with a filthy moan, sucking on it gently, sweetly even. Steve arched his back again as pleasure shot through his gut, his thighs squeezing around Eddie’s head a bit. Sighing, Steve crossed his ankles on Eddie’s back, both hands in his hair to keep him in place.

From the blissed-out expression on Eddie’s face, Steve didn’t think he actually had to work that hard to keep him right there, sucking and licking messily at his dick. 

Steve knew he was staring, but he couldn’t help it, sighing at the heavy-lidded and dazed look that overcame Eddie’s blushing face. Eddie’s brow furrowed and he whined as he ran his tongue around his dick, then focused his efforts on the hood.

Steve arched sharply with a cry when Eddie worked the hood back and teased Steve’s frenulum with his tongue. At his cry, Eddie whimpered and doubled his efforts, opening his eyes lazily to meet Steve’s gaze, his expression hazy.

“Fuck, Eds, feels so good,” Steve sighed, breathless as his release gently built. Sighing happily, Eddie dropped his chin a bit to lap into Steve’s cunt before returning to his dick.

Grunting, Eddie shifted his weight on his elbows and lifted his mouth a bit. “S’okay if I finger you?” he asked and Steve nodded almost frantically.

“You can absolutely finger me, Eds,” he groaned, biting his lip as Eddie pressed two fingers inside.

Eddie’s fingers were thicker than Steve’s, so two of them caused a bit of a stretch that had him whining and spreading his legs. Something seemed to snap between them, and Eddie turned his face to bite and suck several marks into the soft skin of Steve’s inner thigh. Steve groaned as he did, rocking his hips to fuck himself on Eddie’s fingers, shuddering when the man pressed a third finger inside him.

Moaning breathlessly, Steve blinked hazily down at Eddie, startling when their gazes locked while Eddie mouthed his way down Steve’s thigh. He scraped his teeth along the way, teasing with soft bites before marking him up with a dark hickey. Steve was beside himself, tears springing to his eyes as he rocked desperately down onto the fingers fucking into him.

Then Eddie crooked his fingers perfectly into Steve’s g-spot and he cried out sharply, arching off the bed with babbled nonsense, mostly praise and pleas for more and “right there, Eds, don’t stop, God, please don’t stop.”

With a chuckle, Eddie went to pull his fingers out and Steve reached down to grab his wrist, so quickly that he seemed to actually startle the man.

“Why’re you stopping?” Steve asked, breathless with his want, desperately on the edge and shaking with his need to come. “I didn’t tease you,” he added with a pout, and Eddie laughed.

“Stevie, I’m just—I’m so fucking hard again, I was just gonna adjust myself,” Eddie explained, and Steve groaned, tipping his head back and letting go of Eddie’s wrist.

“Sorry, just—fuck, I’m so close,” Steve complained, throwing his arm over his eyes while he waited for Eddie’s fingers to return.

“All good, gorgeous,” Eddie hummed, turning his face to mark Steve’s other thigh up as he slid his fingers back into Steve’s cunt. “Good to know you’re a brat when you’re being edged,” he murmured against Steve’s skin.

“Not a brat,” Steve argued, but his petulance was short-lived when Eddie found his g-spot and worked it relentlessly with his fingertips.

Steve couldn’t help the loud, sharp cries that exploded from his throat as Eddie fucked his fingers in and out of him, finding his sweet spot on every slide in, his accuracy terrible and perfect. With both hands in Eddie’s hair, Steve dragged him back onto his dick, grinding it up into Eddie’s mouth when the man immediately began to suck it perfectly.

Eddie’s wicked tongue flicked at the head before slipping under the hood and caressing his frenulum again at the same time he massaged Steve’s g-spot, earning himself noises that could only be described as screams. Steve’s orgasm was barreling forward, his stomach tense and cunt squeezing around Eddie’s fingers, and Eddie wasn’t slowing down. The sounds Eddie’s mouth was making on Steve’s dick, his fingers inside Steve’s cunt, were obscene in how wet it all was.

Then Eddie nipped at Steve’s dick and the flash of almost-pain made him gasp, his cunt pulsing out another gush of slick. With a growly chuckle, Eddie did it again and Steve threw his head back, sobbing through his orgasm as his thighs clamped down hard around Eddie’s head.

Even though he came, Eddie didn’t stop, almost didn’t even seem to register that Steve came with the way he kept going against his g-spot, nipping and sucking his dick with even more determination. Steve shook under the attention, another release building quickly on the aftershocks of the first, his moans coming out in shattered whimpers. He knew his hands in Eddie’s hair must be painful, but Eddie didn’t complain, just sucked and bit at his dick happily, rutting against the bed with a moan of his own.

When Steve came again, he arched so sharply he nearly sat up, practically wailing into the heated air of the bunk. Tears were streaming down his face as he convulsed with each wave of his release, sobbing when Eddie still didn’t stop, his eyes gazing up the length of his body. It was too much—the mouth, the fingers, Eddie’s big brown eyes looking up at him, watching him shake and cry and beg—but Steve couldn’t bring himself to stop it either.

Steve babbled for mercy, pleading with Eddie while holding his pretty mouth against his dick, fingers tangled viciously in his long curls.

Eddie chuckled against him and shifted his weight on his elbows. The fingers in Steve’s cunt withdrew, and he whined shakily as his cunt grasped desperately around nothing. Then Steve felt pressure against his ass, just enough to get his attention.

When Steve looked down at Eddie, eyes wild and entire body shaking, Eddie swiveled his finger around Steve’s hole questioningly. “S’okay?” he mumbled against Steve’s dick, and despite his earlier pleas, Steve was nodding desperately.

Eddie wasted no time pressing one thick, long finger inside, the slide smooth with the slick from his cunt, but just barely wet enough. Fucking the finger in and out, Eddie bullied a second one in, winding Steve with the slightly painful stretch. With two thick fingers in Steve’s ass, Eddie pulled away from his dick to shove three fingers of his other hand into Steve’s empty cunt.

With a sob, Steve rocked his hips down onto Eddie’s fingers, shuddering at the smoothness of the fingers in his cunt and the rough drag of the fingers in his ass.

“Let’s get you nice and stretched out,” Eddie murmured, mostly to himself, and pushed the third wet finger into his hole.

It hurt, deliciously so, and Steve threw his head back with a pitiful sob. He was so close to coming, even with the aching stretch in his ass, almost especially because of the stretch, and he could barely breathe with it.

With that, Eddie lowered his mouth to rest around Steve’s dick, doing nothing for a moment. Then he spread his fingers slightly at the same moment the digits in his cunt crooked up, and his teeth scraped across the head of his dick.

Steve came nearly silently that time, his eyes rolling back as his breath got caught between a hiss and a groan. When he came back to himself, he was letting out little gasping sobs with each wave of his orgasm, both hands shoving at Eddie’s head as the pleasure became jagged momentarily. Eddie smugly pulled away, grinning up at him as Steve rocked his hips down onto the fingers still inside him, whimpering and crying as he came down.

“Eddie, please, need a break—” Steve gasped, and he whined at how empty he was when Eddie pulled his fingers out of both holes. “Holy fuck.”

“You can say that again,” Eddie laughed, his hair a wild mess from Steve’s hands and his chin shiny with his slick.

Steve was struck with the need to lick that mess up and kiss the man that made him feel so good he might as well have been floating. With a jolt, Steve realized they hadn’t kissed yet this whole time, and he whined softly. He had to fix that immediately.

“C’mup here,” he practically sobbed, and Eddie acquiesced instantly.

The moment Eddie’s face was level with his, Steve began laying open-mouthed kisses along Eddie's chin and cheeks, lapping up his mess and dodging Eddie’s lips. Finally, Steve couldn’t tease any longer and, holding Eddie’s face with both hands, pulled Eddie into a hungry, gasping kiss.

It was perfect, literally everything Steve had dreamed their first kiss would be and more. With Eddie on top of him, nestled between Steve’s shivering thighs and melting into him, Steve couldn’t think of a better way for that moment to be happening.

Steve sobbed against Eddie’s mouth as the man licked past his lips, meeting his questing tongue as he wrapped his legs around Eddie’s waist. With a groan, Eddie rocked his thick cock against Steve’s hip, dragging another wanton sound from Steve. He wanted that length inside him, he wanted to feel the stretch of that cock against the walls of his cunt, wanted to feel hollowed out by it. Steve needed to feel the heat of Eddie’s release inside him.

“Fuck me,” Steve whined against Eddie’s mouth, moving his hips to try and position Eddie’s cock, but he couldn’t get the angle right. “Please, Eds, want it—”

Groaning, Eddie pulled back. “Okay, slow down, let’s just take a deep breath for a second,” he suggested, and Steve froze underneath him, afraid he misinterpreted something at some point. Picking up on Steve’s budding anxiety, Eddie said, “I just need a drink really quick, maybe wash my hands. I will gladly fuck you into this mattress, baby. Been dreaming of doing just that since, like mid-May.”

Steve laughed sheepishly, unwinding his legs from around Eddie’s waist and letting him get up. “Okay, that’s—yeah, maybe cooling down for a second makes sense,” he admitted, his thighs still shaking from his own earth-shattering orgasms just a few minutes before.

Eddie was quick with washing up, and he brought two plastic bottles of water back to the bunk, handing one to Steve who drank his gratefully. When Eddie reached into a drawer underneath his bed and pulled out a strip of condoms, Steve frowned but quickly looked away to school his expression into something less selfish. If Eddie preferred to use a condom, that was fine. Steve wasn’t about to pitch a fit over a guy valuing safe sex.

“Hey, wait, what was that?”

Steve jumped when Eddie turned his face back toward him, frowning teasingly.

“What?” Steve asked, closing his water bottle and fiddling with it in his lap.

“You looked all disappointed. What’s up?” Eddie asked, cupping Steve’s face gently in his hands. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

“It’s nothing, it’s just—I was—fuck this is so hard to say out loud when I’m not too horny to fucking think,” Steve complained, screwing his eyes shut as he blurted out, “I got really excited thinking about you coming inside me, so when I saw the condoms I just—the condoms are fine, we can absolutely use one, I was just briefly a little sad, and—”

“Holy shit, Stevie, I only grabbed the condoms because I didn’t want to assume you’d be cool with that, or there weren’t any, y’know, risks,” Eddie said, and Steve dropped his hand to smirk at him.

“Risks?” Steve asked, enjoying the way Eddie blushed.

“The last guy with a pussy that I fucked could still get knocked up if we weren’t careful, so yeah, y’know, risks,” Eddie said in a rush, scrubbing the back of his neck.

Steve smiled and reached forward to bury his hand in Eddie’s hair, pulling him in for a slow, sweet kiss. With a sigh, Steve slowly laid back in the bunk, coaxing Eddie on top of him and back between his legs. Groaning softly, Steve pulled away to meet Eddie’s eyes heatedly.

“No risk of that with me, promise,” Steve said quietly as he reached down between them to position the head of Eddie’s cock against the wet seam of his cunt. With a mischievous smirk, Steve added, “Happy to let you fuck me raw as often as you want, though. Try and make it stick?”

Eddie groaned and dropped his head onto Steve’s shoulder. “Fuck, baby, you can’t just say shit like that,” he practically whimpered before kissing and nipping Steve’s collarbone.

Sighing, Steve stroked Eddie’s cock, the head of it pressed against his entrance and driving him insane. With a shuddering sigh, Eddie’s hips rocked forward and the tip of his cock slid inside.

Steve wasn’t tight by any means, but it had been a while since Steve had taken an actual cock, and he didn’t use thick toys when he took care of himself. That all said, even though Steve wasn’t tight, Eddie was still thick, so the stretch wasn’t possible to ignore.

Breathing through it, Steve clutched at Eddie’s back and whimpered as Eddie rocked his hips forward, sliding inside inch by inch.

After a few moments of that, Eddie lifted his head to kiss Steve deeply, licking into his mouth and swallowing his soft sounds at each short slide inside him. Humming, Eddie tipped his head to sing directly into his ear, “Let the Devil in…”

Steve jolted at the singing, feeling his cunt grow slicker at hearing Eddie’s singing so close to his ear. Not only that but he recognized the lyrics as being from one of Eddie’s songs.

“Fuck, Eds, I’m trying,” Steve whined, dropping his head back on the pillow.

Grunting, Eddie asked, “Does it hurt?”

Steve considered the question and shook his head, gasping as Eddie rocked a little deeper. “N-no, it’s not.”

“Alright, let me know if this is too much,” Eddie said thickly, and with a soft whine, Eddie snapped his hips forward, hilting hard and fast against the lips of Steve’s cunt.

Steve arched up against Eddie with a punched-out cry, going cross-eyed at how full he suddenly felt. Eddie didn’t give him much of a chance to recover his full brain capacity before he set a brutal pace.

It was intense, the way Eddie moved against him, grunting with each slap of his hips against Steve’s core, his cock fucking Steve deep and perfect. The sounds of Eddie’s cock sliding in and out of his cunt had Steve blushing all the way to his chest. Again, everything sounded so wet and messy, and if Steve had the ability to care he would be embarrassed about it.

As it was, Steve was too busy trying to catch his breath, his moans coming out in short little cries with every plunging thrust into his core while Eddie sucked marks into the skin of his throat.

“Eds,” Steve sobbed, clutching at Eddie’s back as the man hissed and fucked him harder, faster. “Eddie, please.”

“Please, what, gorgeous?” Eddie asked breathlessly, lifting his head to kiss Steve deeply, pressing their tongues together before Steve could answer.

They gasped into each other’s mouths for what felt like hours while Eddie’s hips pounded against him, his thick cock spearing his cunt in an almost punishing pace. Steve whimpered as the coil of his release pulled taut in his gut, his toes curling with the impending force of it.

“Eddie, so close,” he managed to sob, the words muddled around Eddie’s tongue, his breath hitching with each hard push inside him. “Eddie, please, please, please.”

“What do you need, baby?” Eddie grunted, whimpering as he shuddered above Steve, his body shaking with his own approaching orgasm.

“Your hand—my dick, please, Eds, please,” Steve gasped desperately, his eyes rolling back as Eddie pushed all the way in and stopped moving.

With a low groan, Eddie propped himself on one hand above Steve, keeping himself hilted inside his cunt as he got a hand between them to work Steve’s dick between two fingers.

Steve stared up at Eddie, watching him as he loomed above him and focused on getting him off, his eyes closed and kiss-reddened mouth hanging open and panting. Eddie’s curls hung around his face in damp, sweaty ringlets, swinging with the frantic motions of his arm while he dragged Steve closer and closer to his release. Slowly Eddie’s eyes opened to meet his, his gaze hooded and heavy. Eddie refused to look away, as if he wanted to watch the moment Steve came undone, wanted to see him fall apart at the seams.

And who was Steve to deny him that?

With a broken sob, Steve arched off the bed, nails dragging across Eddie’s back as his cunt clenched almost painfully around the cock sitting deep inside him. The sound Eddie let loose was guttural, something Steve almost felt more than he heard, and soon Eddie was moving.

Eddie fucked him, harder and faster than before, driving into Steve’s spasming, wet hole with brutal thrusts that punched little, gasping screams out of him. It dragged his orgasm out, making Steve feel like it would never end, like Eddie was about to keep him there in that blissful, sensitive, painful place until he died.

Then Eddie’s rhythm stuttered, the thrusts growing erratic against him and Steve forced his eyes open. Eddie had hung his head, in a way that hid his face behind his curtain of hair, and Steve couldn’t have that.

Whining, Steve grabbed Eddie’s face, tilting it back up and pushing his hair out of the way. Eddie’s expression was soft, so needy and beautiful that Steve felt close to tears. Steve stroked his cheek with a thumb, and Eddie sighed, turning his head to kiss Steve’s palm softly.

The way Steve’s heart stuttered in his chest at that sweet gesture had tears springing to Steve’s eyes.

“Come for me, Eds, please, wanna feel it,” Steve murmured, breathless as Eddie’s eyes rolled back and his cock settled deep inside him one last time.

Steve moaned thickly as he felt the warm bloom of Eddie’s release inside him, Eddie letting out those perfect whimpers with each hot pulse into Steve’s cunt.

With a shaky breath, Eddie pulled out and flopped onto the mattress beside Steve, gasping for breath. Steve swallowed thickly around his own heavy breathing and looked over at him, smiling shyly when he found Eddie staring at him.

“How are you real?” Eddie asked, his voice awed and impossibly soft, as if they hadn’t been fucking like animals for what felt like hours.

“Could ask you the same thing, Eds,” Steve replied, rolling onto his side and shivering as he felt some of Eddie’s load trickle out of him. “I don’t think I’ve ever been fucked that good.”

Eddie laughed out loud at that, wiggling close to kiss Steve sweetly. “Same,” he agreed in a little whisper before a yawn overtook him. “Fuck, I’m sorry, the night’s catching up to me.”

Steve laughed and pulled away, reaching over the side of the bed to grab his boxers and slip them back on. “Let’s get you to bed then,” Steve said with a bright smile, even as exhaustion tugged at him too.

The two of them got dressed again, Eddie letting Steve borrow a shirt since his own had been thoroughly wrecked earlier. They got distracted a couple times when they would kiss each other and make-out a bit, but overall they managed to get dressed without any incidents. Even when Steve shivered at the sensation of Eddie’s cum trickling out of him and answered honestly when Eddie asked him what was up.

“Fuck, if I was able to get it up again tonight…” Eddie trailed off before kissing Steve soundly and pulling away.

Steve walked Eddie most of the way back to the hotel, holding his hand with their fingers tangled together. It felt perfect, natural even, walking with Eddie and holding hands, and it broke Steve’s heart to stop short of reaching the lobby.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Eddie asked quietly, almost shyly as he wrapped an arm around Steve’s waist and pulled him close.

“Yeah, of course,” Steve replied with a grin, winding his arms around Eddie’s neck and pulling him in for a soft, chaste kiss. “Wouldn’t miss our actual date,” he teased, and Eddie laughed loudly.

“Holy fuck, we actually did everything backwards, huh?” he said, laughing again when Steve nodded.

“Yeah, we kinda did. But I don’t mind, if you don’t,” Steve replied, and Eddie beamed at him.

“Not at all,” Eddie agreed before leaning in for a searching kiss, stealing the breath from Steve’s lungs.

[ NEXT ]

[ READ ON AO3 ]

Thank you so much for reading! Please consider reblogging! Taglist! @patchworkgargoyle, @kazalohiku, @ent-is-indecisive, @steddierthings, @xenon-demon, @mylilplanet, @hellion-child, @scarcrossdlvrs, @steddieas-shegoes, @plskillmemrghostface, @theheadlessphilosopher, @scoops-stevie, @bangarangdarling, @inairbinad, @stobinesque, @2btheanswertothequestion, @starryeyedjanai, @spookednsaucy, @honeysucklesinger, @indigohightide, @afewproblems, @mightbeasleep, @thegingerrapunzel, @pluckedstrings, @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx, @steddie-there Join the taglist by reblogging and expressing interest in keeping up in the tags or reblog comments!!!

[brianwashere]

How do you feel about a bat family x male reader in which the reader (adopted or biologically Bruce’s, up to you) figures out for himself that he is trans and struggles with telling the family

*laughs maniacally* how do I feel? How do I FEEL???

I was very excited omg :333

I wrote this at 1:00 am so I’m so sorry if it’s not as good as my usual stuff

**I do not own any characters or part of the franchise from DC Comics**

Pairing: batfam x trans!brother!reader

Genre: slight hurt/comfort? There’s a happy ending

Summary: look at req

Tw: unintentional use of deadname, slight mention of skin picking

The Hardest Answer

You’d figured out you were trans a few months ago.

You didn’t wanna believe it at first. You didn’t wanna think about what being trans meant for you. For your family.

Eventually though, it became too much to bear. Weighing down on your chest and slowly suffocating you. You soon came to the horrifying realization you’d need to tell your family.

You knew at least three of your brothers wouldn’t have a problem with it. Hell, Tim had a boyfriend. But what about Damian and your dad?

Damian was obsessed with living up to the Wayne name, no matter how much he pretended he didn’t, and your father, he was always in the spotlight. Always pressured to be perfect, and by extension you were too.

The media was feral when they found out there was another biological child of The Prince of Gotham.

It was the Wayne’s monthly family dinner. It was awful, everyone kept calling you by that awful name. That name that just wasn’t you. It filled your ears and you had no choice but to respond to it.

“Hey ________ can you pass the salt?”

Or

“________ what do you think about doing our hair together tonight?”

You couldn’t handle it. So many people and none of them knew who you really were. You kept your eyes low and messed around with the various foods on your plate.

Tim was sitting next to you and seemed to catch onto you just picking at the food on your plate and not interacting with the people at the table.

“You good, _____?” He whispered to you.

You clenched your jaw and shrugged, forcing yourself not to scream about how you weren’t whoever the hell he thought he was talking to. How you weren’t a girl.

By now Damian’s attention has been caught and he was eyeing you up and down as well.

“_______, seriously if there’s anything you need to talk about I’m—“ Tim started.

“It’s nothing.” You deadpanned harshly.

Dick nudged Jason and they also looked at you with concern.

“If there’s something you’re not telling us, ______ you should really—“

Something in you snapped. You couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Oh my god! I’m not fucking _______! That’s not my name that’s not who I am!” You screamed.

You abruptly stood up and stomped off to your room. Leaving your family, their minds reeling and processing what you had said.

You slammed the door and locked it. You fell against the door and slid down burying your head in your knees. Tears welled in your eyes and you let out a gross sob.

You heard conversation downstairs but didn’t bother to listen. This was it. They were gunna kick you out or send you to conversion camp, or completely ignore it and act like everything was fine.

You heard steady unhurried footsteps echoing off the walls and approaching your room. You kept yourself quiet when they stopped in front of your door.

Two gentle knocks. Alfred. You stayed silent, picking at the carpet

“If there is something bothering you this badly I strongly suggest you talk about it.” He stated.

You noticed how he didn’t address you directly. You were grateful for such a small consideration.

“Did Master Tim say something to offend you?” He asked politely.

You sniffled, wiping your tear-stained cheeks and snotty nose. You slowly picked yourself up from the floor and unlocked the door, cracking it only enough to see Alfred.

“It wasn’t Tim.” You mumbled, looking at Alfred’s shoes.

“Mmm. I see. Something else then? Something deeper, maybe?” Alfred tried.

He caught on. He knew. You knew he knew. He’s observant like that. You pursed your lips, you felt tears full your eyes again but forced them down. You nodded.

“Well Young Master Wayne, how would you like to be referred to?”

You smiled and told him.

“An excellent name.” He complimented, a twinkle in his eye.

“Are…are you gunna tell the others?” You nervously asked.

“It is not my place. But if I were to give you advice, I would suggest you do tell them. They’re all quite worried, you know.” He rested a hand on your shoulder.

“They’ll accept you.” He reassured.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You walked downstairs and pushed the large doors to the living room open; Alfred had gathered them all there.

Damian was on the floor, petting Titus. Tim was sitting in a small armchair, legs dangling off of one of the arms. Jason was lounging on the couch, feet kicked up on the coffee table. And Dick was sitting crisscrossed on the other couch. Bruce was in a large armchair watching you with knit eyebrows.

You gulped and stepped to where all of the could see you.

Picking your cuticles and watching the floor, you cleared your throat.

“I’m—“ your voice cracked. “I’m sorry for lashing out at dinner but there’s something that’s been bothering me for a while now.”

Everyone watched with anticipation. You took a deep breath.

“I’m trans. I use he/him pronouns. I am not a girl.” You say strongly.

There’s no response. You get nervous, your eyes start to water.

This was all a big mistake you should have never—

Arms were around you. You looked up to see your Jason hugging you. You sobbed into his chest.

“Hey hey, you don’t need to cry. I’m so fucking proud of you.” He assured and pat your back.

“What’s your name, kid?” He asked.

You told him and he smiled.

“That’s a damn good name.” He responded.

The rest of your family caught up quickly. Tim and Dick hugging you and apologizing profusely as well.

Damian walked up to you. You looked down on him. He had his arms crossed.

“I guess one more brother couldn’t do any harm.” He said passively.

You pulled him into a hug as well; he was confused at first but then hugged you back.

Then your father approached you. You held your breath. He embraced you then pulled back to smile at you.

“You make me so proud, son.” He remarked.

You grinned and hugged him again.

Yeah, you were gunna be just fine.

[st4rshang0ut]

Wriothesley x Cannibal reader/oc hcs because I had this idea for days

Also, this somehow progressed into a Yandere fic with reader/oc being the Yandere, soo, read warnings carefully.

…totally didn’t get inspired by Kesha’s song Cannibal-

Warnings: Spoiler for Archon Quest 4.1, blood and gore mentions, usage of they/them pronouns for reader/oc insert, obsessive tendencies from assistant’s side, organ trafficking in a sense, implied? kidnapping, drugging, love drugging, stockholm syndrome, reader/oc is a literal maniac

…

Okay, so remember when the Traveler and Paimon were sent to the Fortress of Meropide to try and find that ginger man or whatever.

And during their time there, they come across a rumour circulating around that there were cannibals running around the pipes eating people?

While this was debunked at the end as a ploy by the trio in prison who were helping Childe with his escape, what if…

The cannibal was real?

And it wasn’t just any random inmate or guard.

It was the Administrator’s very own assistant.

They would listen to Wriothesley rant about how he had to deal with more of the more pesky and annoying criminals. Claiming that if only they would just disappear so that he could focus on other matters.

They took that to heart.

Whoever Wriothesley complained about, the assistant would always make sure that particular inmate was gone by the end of the week. No traces. In fact, the inmate’s belongings were gone as well.

They always, always somehow found a way to evade detection. Wriothesley questioning them in a panic because of the sudden disappearances? The assistant will just calmly reassure the Administrator that they probably just escaped, and are most likely dead.

Eventually over time, the rumors spread. And the prisoners stopped acting out of line for fear of being the cannibal’s next meal.

It works. But that’s only for the inmates.

Corrupt guards? Gone. Those who have been trashing the place just to abuse their authority over the inmates? Poof. Those in power who try to boss their subordinates around? Oh dear, their missing.

Eventually, nothing happened to the Fortress Of Meropide’s people anymore. At least it gave less work for Wriothesley.

But what of the assistant’s cannibalistic tendencies? Hah. Well, they never actually had much of an addiction for it until they accidentally got blood in their mouths. They got hooked on its taste. After killingkidnapping the unlucky person, they would usually consume the parts they deem most delicious.

After that, eyes, hearts, lungs, kidneys and the organs that are able to provide people with a better life are donated. The hospital never questioned the assistant. After all, it wasn’t that uncommon for prisoners to perish in prison.

But in the end, the assistant only did it just for Wriothesley. No other intention. They just wanted the Administartor to be less stressed.

They loved their boss. They want the best for the Adminstartor, and no one has any idea how far they are willing to go for Wriothesley. Absolutely no idea.

Of course, they know that if Wriothesley found out about his horrific deeds, they would be stripped of their honor and thrown into the cells just like any other inmate. That’s why they went to such lengths to ensure that their lovely boss would never find out.

They knew that Wriothesley ever found out, they would never see him again under friendly pretenses. Eventually, the paranoia would get to the assistant. One day, they’d place a simple but potent drug in Wriothesley’s tea. The man could never resist any, so when he finally realizes what happened, it was too late.

No one knew what happened to Their Grace. But they never questioned the fact that the assistant took over role of Administrator. It was a expected, being the man’s assistant after all, that they were most capable of taking over.

But what did happen to Wriothesley? No one knew. The assistant had carefully carved out their entire plan. Their Grace had decided that it was best for someone else to take over for them.

Meanwhile, Wriothesley was in the assistant’s house. No matter how hard he struggled, the house was escape proof. No matter how many insults Wriothesley threw at them. No matter how hard the man refused to eat any food or even tea prepared for him.

It hurts at first, but the assistant knows that the man will come to love him eventually. One day, Wriothesley, the man they’ve loved for so long, would finally understand how much effort they had put because they wanted him. Maybe then, he’ll finally accept his fate.

Wriothesley will finally realize one day that their darling assistant loved them! That’s why they went as far as to take care of those pesky inmates and inefficient subordinates! That’s why they went as far as to chain Wriothesley in a room that they had designed and prepared just for his liking! They were his one and only assistant after all…

If not? Well, chemistry and a bit of magic can help with this particular problem in no time..~ They’ll figure out a way to make Wriothesley ingest it, and he will love them in no time! There isn’t much difference, it just speeds up the process! They know that Wriothesley loved them as well, why not help him realize those feelings sooner?

Wriothesley will learn to enjoy his new life. His new life of being pampered, loved and cared for by his darling assistant, they know he will, soon enough.

I’ve always loved you,Your Grace. You only need me, and I only need you~

[duckymcdoorknob]

My friends and I just watched (a few of us for the third time) The Amazing Digital Circus before class. We analyzed it heavily, and here’s what our predictions are:

⚠️Spoilers (duh)

The whole circus is representative of Purgatory, and the six are being tested.

This one seems pretty self-explanatory

Caine seems to be some kind of guardian deity, given the fact that he can snap away Ragatha and Pomni’s glitching in an instant

Bubble seems to represent some kind of Guardian Angel that is there for support.

They are given daily tasks, multiple places to go, and are always under watch from every angle.

Not to mention that the abstractions look like biblically accurate angels…

The photos on the bedroom doors are also seemingly symbolic.

Those who abstracted have large x’s over them, and multiple rooms have wooden toy pose dolls (like the ones that artists use) on them.

We think that those abstracted represent those who failed their test and were damned, the wooden dolls are those who passed their test and have done whatever necessary to save their souls.

Caine seems like he is the one who controls that damnation or repentance, given that he can open holes in the floor and teleport and such.

This brings me into my next theory

Kinger has premonition, or has been through the whole show before.

Okay so listen

His very first line is “did someone say insect collection?” (Or something like that)

When he sees the Gloink queen, he repeats that exact line, almost as if he knew it was coming..?

Also, when Zooble was freed from its stomach, Kinger asked if Zooble had “participated in a game show” (again, ballparking these quotes)

Is this something that he knows that we don’t? Is it something that will happen in the future?

Did he have a vision? Or did he already experience that game show?

Maybe he’s a soul that was damned and was given another chance?

ANOTHER THING I THOUGHT OF-

Maybe he has had premonition of Gangle’s abstraction.

Hear me out- he jumps EVERY time Gangle is near him, almost as if he can’t see her until that moment.

My theory is, he shuts her out because he’s seen her abstraction and doesn’t want to be too attached and grieve when she goes.

Pomni may have been responsible for Kaufmo’s abstraction/Kaufmo responsible for Pomni’s arrival.

Kaufmo didn’t show up the day that Pomni arrived

Obviously we know that this is because he abstracted

But the question is, was it caused by Pomni?

This may be farfetched, but hear me out.

Pomni’s whole design is of a court jester/clown. Her color scheme is directly opposite of Kaufmo’s

Her base colors are red and blue with yellow accents. Kaufmo’s yellow with blue and red accents.

Perhaps Pomni’s arrival was because of Kaufmo’s abstraction, or maybe Kaufmo abstracted when the role of the clown was replaced?

Pomni became self-aware

In the beginning, she fell prey to the circus. She thought she was dreaming, forgot her real name, and longed desperately for an exit.

But as the episode progressed, she seemed much more comfortable in the circus.

Naturally, this is probably because of her adjusting to her surroundings, but this is where I started to pay attention.

For starters, Pomni’s name is the Slovenian word for “remember” What’s the story behind this?

When Jax swung the key above her head, she flinched and ducked down. Was this out of fear he’d hit her? Or maybe out of habit?

If out of habit, weren’t they supposed to lose a good chunk of their memories?

When she was being chased by abstracted Kaufmo, she stopped to look in the mirror. She looks deeply into her eyes, realizing that she can see her reflection.

A person cannot see their clear reflection in a dream. If they can, it’s a warbled image and not a true reflection of them.

It’s at this moment that Pomni realizes she’s not dreaming.

When she enters the exit labyrinth, there is a famous scene with her looking at the computer setup and laughing maniacally.

My friends and I think that it’s at this point in which she realizes that she is there for a reason and remembers said reason.

That same computer is revealed at the end after the camera pans out of everything. That is Pomni’s computer (we think). Maybe when she saw that computer, she became self-aware and all of her memories came flooding back.

Thinking back earlier, when Ragatha first got glitched, she had an internal dilemma of saving her new friend, or surviving without a hitch. She left quickly, choosing herself.

Perhaps it’s because she has a mission to carry out?

The scene at the end is symbolic of the Last Supper in Christianity. Pomni is in the center where Christ would have sat. Christ knew that he had a mission to carry out, and now Pomni does too.

The question is her creepy smile.

Is she smiling at the chaos that will ensue?

Or has she finally realized that’s she’s stuck for good and has no way out?

There is more past the void, which is why Caine does not want them to go out there.

Caine is seen in a restaraunt with bubble, one that was not shown during his tour of the grounds.

He’s surrounded by the wooden pose dolls.

As soon as he gets an alert on his watch, he teleports to grab Pomni almost immediately.

He does a shitty infomercial about his watch, complete with pop-up information. Maybe this was for comedic effect, or maybe he did it to let her get a good look of what she wasn’t supposed to see?

Caine lies about the exit, and does everything in his power to keep the six of them stuck in the circus (always keeping an eye on them, alerts to their movement, etc.)

Jax knows more than he leads us to believe

I mean obviously

It’s always the most cocky ones that have the darkest secrets

He’s obviously been in the circus for a while, for he has a great understanding of the lay of the land.

He’s calm when the Gloink queen materializes, and even calmer when the abstracted Kaufmo comes to kick the shit out of it.

Maybe Jax was some kind of caretaker in his real life and is trying to keep everyone calm by putting up a facade of some sort?

“Ladies first? Wait, no, why am I saying that?”

Zooble asks where Pomni is since the mission is for her, Jax shuts them down immediately, giving the excuse of “I can’t hear the escalator.”

That’s probably just for comedy and his cockiness, but what if Jax knew that something was happening with Pomni?

Spy on the inside??

When he pairs up Kinger and Gangle, he claims they’re the two most “mentally stable”. Is this because he’s seen Kinger’s premonition? Or perhaps he’s seen Kinger do this exact mission once in the past..?

I think the seven (including Kaufmo) represent the seven deadly sins.

Okay I’m still trying to piece this one together and I may be cooking nothing BUT LEMME COOK

Oh my god this is so farfetched I love it.

Pride will have to be Kinger/Ragatha. No idea which yet.

Gluttony will also have to be Kinger/Ragatha. No idea which yet.

Lust is DEFINITELY Jax. Not for sexual reasons, but for the fact that he is trying to cause mayhem at any given minute. He strives off of being as unbearably annoying as possible.

Envy may be Gangle. She’s stuck in a perpetual sadness, with her comedy mask being broken every time. Her emotions depend on her mask, and maybe she longs to have

Maybe Kaufmo is wrath? Not sure if it was to protect his friends, but homie was SWINGING on that Gloink. When Gangle questioned, Jax said “Calm down, that’s just Kaufmo, it’ll be alright.”

Sloth is Zooble, with no desire to take part in the activities.

Greed will maybe be Pomni. With all of my previous Schpeels about her, she is very focused on number one. She abandons Ragatha out of “fear”, and she kept trying to exit even though she knows she can’t.

Okay wow that was long- GIVE ME YOUR PREDICTIONS OR EXPANSIONS OF OURS IN THE COMMENTS OR REBLOGS!!!

[topguncortez]

An Ugly Beast

Spring Break Kickback | Masterlist

synopsis: Addiction is a beast. An ugly, horrible, unbeatable beast. But the beast can be tamed. . . if you work for it

prompts: 14. “Should you be drinking that much?” 17. “Am I the reason you cry every night?”

word count: 2.6k

Warnings: drug addiction, alcoholism, suicide by alcohol, talks of suicide, cursing, talks about drugs, mentions of overdosing, mentions of physical and verbal abuse

requested by @sufferingophelia

Addiction. 

It was an ugly demon. It was never a beast that could be totally conquered and destroyed. You could beat it down as much as you could. But, it was always there, lurking in the shadows, ready to rear its ugly head again. You watched for years as your daddy drank himself to death after your mother ran away. You made a promise to him on his deathbed that you’d never turn to the bottle. No matter how hard life got, you’d never pick up the bottle to help cope with it. And you kept that promise. . . until you met him. 

Jake Seresin. 

You knew that there was no one else to blame for your addiction but yourself, but boy did it feel great to curse his name when you threw the empty glass bottle against the wall. Jake had been your reason for drinking. Jake had been your reason for getting fired from your job. Jake had been your reason for not being able to leave the bathroom floor most mornings. Jake had been your reason. 

But Jake wasn’t the one to blame and you knew it. 

Your daddy also made you promise that you’d never fall in love. Falling in love only leads to heartbreak. You didn’t want to make that promise. You had been so naive and optimistic about marrying your perfect prince and living happily ever after. But that was only shit that was made up by Disney. Jake had made promises to you. He made promises to love you. To care for you. To be by your side until you die. 

But where was he now as you were slowly killing yourself? 

Your head was pounding as you sat on your couch. Your head was tilted back slightly and you pinched the bridge of your nose trying to relieve the pressure. The dust in your nose burned and you knew it would be over soon, and then that blissful high would settle in. But waiting until that moment absolutely sucked. You now realized why most coke heads turned to injecting their veins instead of snorting. The high was quicker and your nose wouldn’t have holes the size of planets in it. Blinking a couple times, you pulled yourself to sit up, and grabbed your phone. You squinted at the bright light and saw the same screen you were met with night after night. 

Not a single notification. 

“Fuck you,” You muttered and tossed your phone back on the couch cushion. You had learned that as an addict you were extremely impulsive. Even though every fiber in your being, well those left that hadn’t been shot to hell from the alcohol and pills, were telling you not to call him. To not leave another nasty, slurred voicemail. But you couldn’t help yourself. You liked the idea that maybe he got mad when he listened to them. Picking up your phone, your eyes were half open as you dialed his number. The dial tone went on for a bit until you were met with the familiar sound of his voicemail box. 

“Hey this is Jake, sorry I can’t answer, please leave a voicemail and I’ll get back to you.” 

“You need to change your voicemail message,” You slurred, “It says ‘I’ll get back to you’ but you have never gotten back to me, you fucking liar. I guess everything you fucking say is a goddamn lie.” You shook your head and started laughing uncontrollably, the high finally getting into your body. And that's how the voicemail ended, with your maniacal laughter in the background. 

— — — 

The bar by your house was a hole in the wall, dive style type place. Before now, you would’ve never been caught dead at this place, but it was only a two block walk from your house. You were a smart addict, never taking your keys when you were to fucked up. The walk to the bar was always fine, it was the walk home that was the struggle. Somehow you always managed to get into the house you grew up in and fall asleep by the front door.

You weren’t sure how long you had been at the bar, but clearly it was long enough to start your usual argument with Dave, a retired Army Vet who always said that his branch was superior. You were biased, being raised by a Naval Aviator and having dated one for the better part of a decade. Intoxicated you loved to get into arguments though, and you’d say just about anything that made you sound somewhat intelligent, even if you were just arguing the same point over and over. 

“Listen here, asshat,” You pointed your beer bottle at Dave, “The Army can fucking suck it. How the fuck did Bin Laden die? Oh yeah, Navy fucking Seals.” 

“Quit your bitchin, girl!” Dave yelled back. Clearly you were ruining his drunken bliss but you couldn’t care. 

You tilted your head back in a laugh as you grabbed the small baggy from your pocket. You needed this, and you didn’t care if you were about to do a line on the dirty bar top. You placed your credit card and a dollar bill on the bar as you dumped out the white substance. It was almost all in a line, when Jerry, the owner, came and wiped it away. 

“What the fuck!” You yelled.

“You know my rules,” Jerry said. He was a burly looking man, long hair that was thinning on the top and a beard that made him look like he should be on Duck Dynasty. 

“Man, Jerry, fuck you,” You snapped. You were a mean drunk, something you inherited from your daddy. The things you said in an alcohol induced haze were ones that you would never say if you were sober. 

“Don’t you start,” Jerry pointed his finger at you. You scowled at him, twirling your empty bottle around the bar top. He knew what you were planning before you could even do it. He moved first, reaching to grab your phone on the bar and dodging the bottle you threw at the wall. Before dealing with you, Jerry dealt with your father. He had learned a few things over the years, like how neither of you never changed your emergency contacts. Your father had your mother’s number saved as his for years, even after she left him. 

You were still stewing in your anger that Jerry wiped away the coke that you had paid a hundred dollars for. That’s one thing no one told you about drugs, they were expensive. It was no wonder that addicts usually switched to other things that were cheaper to get their high. Jerry returned your phone back in front of you and sat down another drink. He didn’t care if you drank yourself stupid, it was better than snorting china white into your nose. 

You looked up at him, “I’m lookin out for ya kid,” Jerry shrugged and you nodded, taking the drink in your hand. 

You sipped this one slowly, knowing that this was more than likely your last one for the night and Jerry was gonna send you packing. It was peach crown and coke, the drink you used to make your daddy all the time. You hated peach crown. It was what took him from you and left you with Jake and the terrible gene of addiction. 

Jerry was humming along to some song on the jukebox when the door opened, the bell overhead ringing. You were leaning your head on your hand, your eyes barely awake. If anyone walked in earlier in the night, you would turn around and greet them as if this were the bar in Cheers. Jerry glanced up from the glass he was washing and smiled softly at the man walking over to you. Even in your near sleepy state, you picked up your rocks glass and brought it to your lips. Except, a warm hand was placed on yours and lowered the drink glass back down. You looked over your shoulder and rolled your eyes. 

“Fuck you, Jerry,” You sneered and the bartender pretended not to hear you. 

“Let’s get you home.” 

“I’ll stomp on your shoes,” You threatened, but still turned around on your barstool and let him help you off of it. He put one arm around your waist and held your hand in his opposite hand. You weren’t the most coordinated person sober and being under the influence made it worse. 

“Thank you, Jerry,” He said over his shoulder to the bartender. 

“No problem, Jake, get her home safely,” Jerry waved towards the blonde man. 

Jake usually got a call from Jerry at least once a week to come get you. And without fail, he always did. You’d cuss at both of them, and then Jake would help you climb into his truck where you’d fall asleep and he’d carry you to bed. However, this time you were going to put up a fight. You weren’t high like all the other times you got into Jake’s truck. Jake looked over at you as he clicked his seatbelt into place. He clenched his jaw taking in the sight of your sunk in face and tired eyes. You looked like you hadn’t had a proper meal in weeks. 

Jake sighed, “Should you be drinking this much?” 

“Why do you care?” You asked, not even looking over at him, your eyes staring straight ahead. 

“Because you’re killing yourself.” 

“Not fast enough,” You mumbled. 

“Listen,” Jake shifted in his seat to look over at you, “I made some calls, and I found a place not far-” You bursted out laughing and Jake’s eyebrows furrowed. 

You turned in your seat to face Jake this time, “You listen to me. . . Go to hell.” 

“Y/N, this isn’t healthy! The drinking, the drugs. . . This isn’t you.” 

“This is me!” You yelled and Jake flinched. Your voice when you yelled was almost so much louder than he expected, “I come from a long fucking line of addicts, I’m surprised it’s taken me this long to start.” 

Jake shook his head, and turned back to face the steering wheel. Tears were falling down his cheeks as he sat there dejectedly. He was out of options. The girl sitting next to him was not the girl he had fallen in love with years ago. You have changed in more ways than one. And Jake wasn’t the only one concerned about you. His mother is after you left her a strange voicemail. Your sister is after you texted her in a coke psychosis. Bradley is after he drove by your house one night and saw you struggling to get up the stairs. Even your mother had reached out and asked Jake if you had fallen into the trap of the addiction beast. 

You leaned back in your seat, and looked back towards the car parked in front of you. A sniffle was heard throughout the cab and you looked over to see Jake, wiping a tear from his cheek. Jake Seresin doesn’t cry. He watched as you held your dad’s hand in the hospital as the doctor’s unplugged the machines keeping him alive, and didn’t cry. He watched as his sister held onto the body of her child that succumbed to cancer, and didn’t cry. He watched his dad butcher his favorite cow at the age of six, and didn’t cry. 

“Are you fucking crying?” 

“Yes,” Jake said, swallowing thickly and turning to you, “I’m fucking crying.” 

“Am I the reason you cry every night?” 

Jake let out a shaky breath and nodded. He spent every night crying as he ignored your call, watching your contact photo flash across the screen. He spent every night crying as he listened to your voicemails. He spent every night crying as he thought of your funeral he would be planning too soon. 

“Good,” You said and turned back to face the front, “You deserve it. You deserve to cry every night because of me. Cause I spent too fucking long crying over you!” 

“This isn’t my fucking fault!” Jake yelled back at you with the same level as you did, “Quit being a fucking child and own your shit! This whole thing is your fault. I didn’t hold a fucking gun to your head and tell you to drink.” 

“You might as well have!” 

“Get out,” Jake shook his head and unlocked the door, “Get the fuck out of my goddamn truck.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest, standing your ground. Jake waited a moment, seeing if you would move, and when you didn’t he cursed and got out of the driver’s seat. You jumped as he slammed the door and watched him walk over to your side and pulled the door open. 

“What are you-” Jake grabbed your arm and tried to pull you from his vehicle, “Let me fucking go!” You fought against him and Jake tried to grab you to get you out. 

“Get out!” He yelled, trying his best to ignore you as you swiped at his face, “Get out!” 

“No!” You screamed as he overpowered you and pulled you out. You let out another scream as he basically tossed you on the ground, your drunken stupor causing you to fall on your behind, “Asshole!” 

Jake ran his hands through his hair as he realized what he had done. He promised God and you that he would never lay a malicious hand on you, and now, he had physically removed you from the truck. He put his hand on your hip and looked down at you, your eyes hard and jaw clenched. 

“Ya know,” Jake chuckled, “If you wanted to kill yourself, you would’ve done it by now. Your dad has guns in the house. There’s plenty of knives in the kitchen. Hell, you can probably figure out how to use your bedsheet to get the job done. In yet. . . you are choosing the slowest way to fucking go.” You looked down at the ground, pulling your knees to your chest, “So to me, that says ‘I don’t want to die’. That tells me, you are a fucking coward.” 

“I am not!” You hated being called that. Your father had yelled at you one night when you tried to hide your face from the beer bottle he threw at your head. 

“You are!” Jake yelled back, “You could get this whole thing over with! Could take you and us out of our misery. However. . . you wanna drag this out. Make us watch like it’s a fucking execution.” 

Your lip quivered and the dam broke open. As much as you hated him for saying it, you were scared to die. And oh how many times had you sat on the couch with your dad’s shotgun and pistol in front of you scared that the creatures in the trees were going to break in and get you. Oh how the thoughts of just putting the gun under your chin and blowing your top off would protect you from the red eyes that were tapping at your windows. But every time, you’d pick up the phone and call Jake, leaving a voicemail about how you were hiding under your bed with one of the knives from the kitchen because you were scared that the man with no eyes and mouth had broken in. 

“I can’t make you get clean. I can’t make you stop drinking,” Jake said, “All I can do is help plan the funeral.” 

You nodded and looked up at Jake, “Make sure my casket is white."

You smiled at him and Jake choked back a sob as you laid back on the concrete, an eruption of laughter falling from your lips. You didn’t even bother to sit up as Jake walked away from you and got in his truck. It started up and you closed your eyes as the F-150 pulled away from the sidewalk and drove off into the night.

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if you or anyone else is struggling with addiction please call the Substance Abuse, Mental Health Service Administration hotline: (1-800)-662-4357 for help with addiction and mental illness. The hotline is available 24/7, 365 days.

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