#and felt a need an urge to rewatch it

[spockvarietyhour]

Today's Rewatch

[yohankang]

there's nothing!!! NOTHING that makes me more violent than people eating in a cinema

[nanivinsmoke]

Slut For You

a part two to rated-r, hope you all enjoy!

needy!Choso x fem!Reader

summary : two weeks without you will make a sane man lose his mind.

warnings and tags : masturbation, toys (m!only) a glimpse of dom!reader and sub!choso, reverse cowgirl, missionary, rough sex, creampie, cum on body, degradation, multiple orgasms and much more~.

it had been two weeks since the last time the two of you fucked, yet it felt like eternity to the lonely emo boy. he wanted so desperately to be inside you again. to have you cum on his cock over and over until you couldn’t. but, you weren’t much to his dissatisfaction.

you were away for the first half of spring break. back in your hometown visiting friends and family. leaving poor choso all alone, with his mind clouded with thoughts about you. he tried to keep himself busy for the most part, he picked up extra shifts at the job, visited his younger brother yuuji and he even cleaned the apartment. but, no matter how he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about you:

you only texted him a few times during your trip, but only because he texted you first and after that, you stopped responding. maybe you just wanted sex from him and he was okay with that…nah he wanted you all to himself, he had to be with you.

he thought about you every second, he wondered what you were up to. the thought of you being with another male was slowly starting to consume him. that is until he got a notification from instagram. you had finally posted on your close friends. he scrolled through the videos of you at the club last night, before getting to the new one—his eyes widened at what was displayed in front of him.

you were shaking ass, with your dress rising up each time only to be pulled down by one of your friends. but, there was really no use because each time you twerked, your black thong and your thick cheeks were in view of the camera. he sat back on his bed and rewatched the video multiple times, a tent rising in his pants as he studied the video. then the next one played and he immediately brought his laptop out, so he could watch it from there.

in this video, you were grinding against your friend, your dress rising up again but this time nobody bothered to pull it down. your ass looked amazing underneath the brown light of your club’s section, it was sexy. he couldn’t stop watching it, he could see the ripples in your ass each time you friend’s hips collided against it. choso couldn’t help the growing arousal within him as he sat back and watched, rubbing his erection in his sweatpants.

as the video replayed over and over, he was getting weaker and weaker—trying to fight the urge to pull his hard cock out and get himself off to your video—until he couldn’t fight it anymore. he freed his erection from his pants, his angry red tip was coated in his pearlescent slick that slowly began to run down his shaft.

he immediately palmed his aching tip, moaning at the sensation. he fisted his cock in a fast, rhythmic motion; keeping his eyes onto you in that tight ass green dress. the more he stroked himself the hornier he got and he no longer needed the video. he closed his eyes and began to think about you replacing his hand with yours. your small hand coated in his sticky fluid, ogling at the sight of his cock. how’d you coo and moan his name, getting horny as you fisted him.

he’d then imagined you taking him whole into your mouth, pushing him so deep, hitting the back of your throat—causing your eyes to water. your head would begin to bob, spit mixed with his precum dripping from the sides of your mouth—and he would buck his hips up wanting more.

as his mind ran rampant, an idea popped into his head and he reached into his nightstand and grabbed a toy. it was a realistic pocket pussy and he bought it a while ago, he never used it, until now. he reached behind him and grabbed some lube, pouring the warm liquid into the top half of the silicone toy; before he pushed his tip inside—moaning while grabbing the hips of of it.

he grunted and slammed the toy down repeatedly; getting lost in the sensation along with his thoughts of you. the squelching sound produced by air being pushed out of the toy, along with his oiled cock echoed inside of his room, pushing him closer to an orgasm.

unbeknownst to him, you had just made it back home. you pulled your suitcase behind you and slipped off your shoes, setting down your keys on the kitchen’s island. you were glad to be home, even though you did miss your old friends and family, you had missed your roommate even more.

“cho?” you called out, but got no response. you knew he was here because his favorite shoes were still by the door. so, you walked over to his side of the apartment, where you were able to hear grunts and a lot of squelching. your slowly turned the knob and was shocked to see the sight in front of you. he looked so hot, fucking himself into the toy, his face contorted with pleasure. this is what you were missing and boy were you glad to be home.

as you tipped toed towards him, you were shocked to see your instagram story being played on his laptop. it was incredibly hot to know that you were what he chose to masturbate to, you cool feel yourself getting wet the more you watched him.

feeling a dip in the bed, his eyes shot open and landed on yours, a smirk planted on your face. he could feel his cock throb when you started to rub on his thigh.

“you missed me that bad, hm?” your voice teased him, but he couldn’t help the whimper that left his lips as a response. you smiled and hovered over his cock, watching the silicone toy go up and down on it—before you let out a nice glob of spit down into the hole, covering his mushroom tip. he let out a moan and his pace became faster, and the lewd noise got louder. it was so hot watching how sloppy and sticky everything became, from the squelching noises to his moans—you were so turned on.

you bit your bottom lip at the sight, your right hand laid right on clothed cunt, fingers moving slightly to create some friction—while you got off at the sight. his eyes rolled back in his head and his hips bucked upwards with each stroke into the false pussy.

“cumming—fuck, y/n!” thick white ropes of his cum pooled out and splattered on top of the toy, while his hips continued to pump upwards, until there was nothing left. choso slowly opened his eyes to see your that look on your face. and before he could open his mouth, you grabbed the silicone pussy—hands being covered in his cum— and pushed him deep inside of your mouth.

a loud groan left his lips as you sucked his hard, sensitive dick. you swirled your tongue on his tip, before moving down shaft—coating it with puddles of your saliva, before reaching his slightly heavy balls; taking them into your mouth as well. he couldn’t believe it, the way you were sucking him—especially after he just came— was like heaven and he could feel himself coming again. that is until you pulled him out of your mouth.

“need you….inside me~” you breathed, licking your lips before unbuttoning your little shorts; taking them off to only leave you in your little black thong. it was similar to the one you had in your video. his dick throbbed and got harder, it was like his fantasy had came true.

turning around so your ass was facing him, you pulled the small string of fabric to the side and grabbed his sticky cock, slapping it against your slick drenched cunt. pushing him inside, your tight gummy walls immediately constricted around him, earning a small moan from him. wasting no time, you grind’d against him, before using your hips to ride him; ass colliding with his pelvis each time.

the echoing sound of your ass clapping was like music to his ears and he was trying so hard not to lose it. you were way better than any toy. the way you gripped him so tightly, was a sensation he’d never want to forget. it was so addictive. not to mention the way your cunt gushed each time you brought yourself down onto him, only to be hidden by your ass; was far more greater than any magic trick.

“please baby, i want all of it inside of me. please~” your pleads where above a whisper, but he was able to hear the sexy request. the way your cunt squeezed his cock as you orgasmed, immediately caused him to shoot inside of you—painting your walls white.

as you pulled him out of you and a rope of cum followed, a switch flipped off inside of him and he pulled you by your legs—flipping you onto your back. choso pushed your legs back, pressing them deep into your chest, before he pushed himself inside; slamming his hips into yours, filling your sensitive cunt with all of his eight inches.

surprised, you opened your mouth to speak—only for nothing to come out. the way he pounded your like he wanted to break you, was more than a turn on. it was ecstasy. you had no choice but to hold onto your legs and lay there, taking his strokes, cunt full of his angry cock.

“you like fucking teasing me? posting that video, just so i could see it? so i could get off to you?” he grunted, slamming deeper into you each stroke, earning a yelp from your plump lips. you said nothing while your eyes rolled back into your head, your puffy clit throbbing from the overwhelming pleasure, causing you to squirt against him.

his grip on your legs became tighter and his strokes where harder, “shit—….mhm— you love getting fucked like this? being fucked stupid and have daddy breed this cunt?” each time you pushed him out as the clear fluid left your body, he slammed back inside of you harder, like he was punishing you.

“take. all. of. it. slut—.” he leaned down close to your ear, his tip striking your spot and kissing your cervix, making you cum again—with him following behind you. his cum was so filling, it stuffed your belly completely. however, he still had a lot left inside of him. you did leave him pent up for two weeks. he pulled himself out, jerking the rest onto your bare cunt—painting it a nice shade of white—before he collapsed on the side of you,

while the two of you calmed down, the question that remained on his mind, creeped back up on him and he had to ask you. he turned on his side and gently grabbed your face, making you look at him, “y/n….are the two of us….together?”

you found it cute how he became so shy after digging in your guts.

a smile appeared on your face and reached over and stroked his sweat drenched hair, “you’re the only guy who could make me squirt. im not letting you go….ever”

[gunnerfc]

Bad Game | Alexia Putellas x Barça!Reader

WC: 1312

Warnings: this isn’t full-on smut but it is suggestive so 18+ only pls! There’s no smut warnings but Alexia is just a little mean !

-> English and Spanish are used by both Alexia & reader in this!

All translations are from google, so apologies if they aren’t 100% accurate!

As the final whistle blew, you could see the frustration on Alexia’s face despite her contributing to three of Barça’s six goals against Real Madrid. You watched as she shook hands with the opponents, hardly putting any effort into concealing how upset she felt. You knew better than to try and comfort her right now, knowing that she needed a minute to sit with her feelings, and no matter how much you told her how good she played, she was too in her head to listen to you. 

While you weren’t going to actively try and comfort her, you did keep an eye on her as she did media and signed a few things for some fans before finally making her way into the locker room. You weren’t the only one to notice the midfielder’s frustrations, the rest of the team saw it as well and knew better than to say anything to their captain. In the locker room, you took your seat next to Ona while other teammates were singing and dancing, celebrating another El Clásico win.

Alexia kept to herself in her seat, without a doubt replaying the entire game in her head picking apart her performance. The team’s loud celebration not helping her growing annoyance. Eventually, the celebrations died down as many of your teammates started taking showers and getting ready to head back to the team hotel in Madrid. You were thankful for the rare opportunity to be sharing a room with your girlfriend, seeing as you two are usually kept apart when traveling for away games. 

Knowing how upset the midfielder was, you knew she was going to wait until back at the hotel to shower, wanting to leave the stadium as quickly as possible. You decided to wait as well knowing it was only a short ride back and the quicker you were on the bus, the quicker you could be close to Alexia without her pushing you away. As soon as both of you find your seats, Alexia is quick to put headphones on in an effort to drown out the singing from your teammates. You let out a defeated sigh as you grabbed her hand to give it a light squeeze letting her know you were here for her, but she gave you no response. 

The trip back from the stadium to the hotel was short but for Alexia, it felt like ages. She wanted nothing more than to rid herself of the game and decompress in whatever way seemed best. Alexia was off the bus and in the elevator in record time, not bothering to wait for you to catch up. It was a good thing you each made sure to take one of the keys this morning. By the time you reached your shared room, Alexia was already in the shower. You sighed as you took it upon yourself to take care of cleaning out your gym bags so you could give your kits to the staff to be washed. 

When you finally heard the water turn off in the bathroom, you were mentally preparing yourself to be met with silence from your blonde girlfriend. As Alexia exited the bathroom, she barely gave you a second glance, more focused on finding a replay of the game to study everything she did wrong. You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes as you scoffed at her actions. This finally gained some sort of reaction from Alexia, as she threw you a glance from one of the beds with a raised eyebrow, silently challenging you to challenge her. All you did in response was to give her a similar look, choosing to ignore the feeling you felt from seeing your girlfriend freshly showered with damp hair in a tank top and sweats. 

When you were done with your shower, you found Alexia in the same position you left her in, this time you didn’t resist the eye roll. 

“Ale, are you seriously going to rewatch the game you just played?” you asked, your voice dripping with your own frustration. 

“Necesito ver que hice mal. (I need to see what I did wrong)” Alexia muttered, not looking up from her laptop. You knew this game was going to bother her, but the two of you never get to share a room when you’re away and you were looking forward to spending time with your girlfriend. 

“Creo que puedes tomar un descanso, sólo por esta noche, cariño. (I think you can take a break, just for tonight baby)” You sighed, hoping to get her attention and she would see the pout on your face.

“Creo que podrías dejarme en paz unos minutos. (I think you could leave me alone for a few minutes.)” The blonde snapped, clearly still frustrated from earlier. Alexia finally looked up at you as she spoke and you could see in her eyes just how upset she was. 

You knew that if you kept going, this argument would follow you back to Barcelona, and that was something you did not want. However, you couldn’t ignore just how much her words affected you. On one hand, you were upset that she was taking her anger out on you. On the other hand, you felt turned on by the idea of her taking her anger out on you in other ways.

“tal vez sólo necesites algo que te calme. (maybe you just need something to calm you down.)” You replied, taking cautious steps towards Alexia. The drop in your voice caught her attention, though she still refused to make eye contact with you.

When you reached the side of the bed she was sitting on, you moved to sit next to her. You carefully slid your finger across the top edge of her laptop, catching her eyes drift up slightly to watch you. 

“bebé..please.” your voice had dropped to a whisper, knowing that no matter what your girlfriend was feeling, she was always affected by how you asked her to pleasure you. Alexia met your eyes, her still swimming with anger and disappointment in how she played but you could tell by how her pupils had dilated that she was feeling other things as well. 

“úsame. desquitate conmigo, por favor, mi amor. (use me. take it out on me, please, my love.)” you begged. If you knew how to get anything out of Alexia, begging was the way to go.

Alexia all but threw her laptop off the bed to grab at your waist to switch the positions the two of you were in. Alexia loved having you under her, begging for her to give you sort of release and she wasn’t going to say no this time. Her lips met yours in a heated kiss, the blonde not giving you a chance to catch your breath before her tongue found its way into your mouth. Her lips left yours and a whine quickly followed them, hating not having her close. 

Her lips found a place on your neck, leaving teasing kisses and bites, without a doubt leaving marks for you to deal with in the morning. At the moment though, you did not care. You were more focused on being an outlet for your girlfriend to let go of her lingering frustrations.

“¿Vas a hacer lo que te digo, princesa? (are you going to do as I say, princess?)” Alexia mumbled in between leaving the marks along your neck and collarbone. 

You didn’t trust your voice, but you knew Alexia was waiting for an actual answer. With a shaky breath, you responded with a whispered “sí.” The response you received from your girlfriend was a deep kiss before she softly said “bueno” against your lips and you knew you were in for a long night, grateful that tomorrow was a travel day and you wouldn’t be expected to do much.

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

The Kind Of Love You Only Find Once In A Lifetime - Steve Rogers x Reader

A/N: This whole fic is dedicated to the wonderful @anika-ann because she was the one who reblogged the wartime footage gifs that inspired all this and I promised I'd write it 😉

Summary: After Tony finds some old Wartime footage of Steve, Steve starts reminiscing about his past.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Angst! Flashbacks! Fluff! War Time!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Masterlist

Steve let out a shaky breath as he sat down on the edge of his bed staring at his TV which was still a black screen. He stared at his own reflection seeing his heartbroken expression staring back at him. He was desperate to turn it on and rewatch the footage of you but at this moment he couldn’t bring himself to.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but the cuts on his knuckles had clotted and were halfway to fully healed. His body finally took over from his brain as he picked up the remote and turned on the TV ready to watch the footage.

As soon as your face appeared on the screen he let out a watery chuckle as the weight he felt on his chest listed. The rest of the world disappeared around him and it was just you and him, just the way he wanted it to be.

1943

“Do we have any information on where the watchtowers are?” Steve asked as he looked down at the map in front of him.

“Intel says there are here, here and here” Bucky says pointing at the map “but I would expect a couple of unofficial ones here and here”

“Right, what position are you planning to take?” Steve asks looking over at his best friend.

“This position here would offer me the best-” Bucky starts before he gets interrupted by Colonel Phillips walking in with a small group of men and a woman.

“This mission is going to have to be postponed for today gentlemen” Phillips says as he comes to a stop by the table.

Steve’s brows furrow as he looks over at the Colonel “What? Why? This Hydra base is vital, we have to take it down” he argues.

“It can wait for another week, in the meantime, we have a more pressing issue to attend to” Phillips explains, he glances over his shoulder and beckons the woman over “This is Y/N Y/L/N from London, she will be accompanying you on missions recording footage of them for propaganda material”

“No” Steve states crossing his arms over his chest “I am not having a civilian accompanying us on mission”

“Don’t forget your rank Captain, if I say Y/N will be accompanying you, Y/N will be accompanying you” Phillips states fixing Steve with a hard look.

“It’s not safe” Steve argues.

“Hence why the more dangerous missions will be saved for when Y/N will not be accompanying you” Phillips explains.

“Not that I wouldn’t be able to hold my own” you muttered with a small scoff.

Steve glanced over at you for the first time and properly took you in. He could see fight and fire in your eyes as you held his gaze and didn’t baulk. If anything you tilted your chin up and invited him to back down instead.

Steve returned his attention back to Colonel Phillips “What is the new mission” he asked.

“A sweep through a small village in France” Colonel Phillips.

“Fine” Steve huffs turning his attention back to you “I want you to follow my orders exactly, i will not have your death on my hands”

You arched a brow at him “You don’t need to worry about me sir” you state.

Steve held your gaze for a second longer before turning and storming out of the room.

Steve refused to look over at you on the ride to the small French village. Instead, he kept his gaze on the floor as he pretended to go over the plan in his head once more. What he was really doing was resisting the urge to look over at you, and watch as you cleaned and prepped your camera.

“When we get there, I should go on ahead so I can capture you from in front,” you say grabbing his attention.

“No, you stay behind me where it’s safe” Steve states.

“Footage of the back of your head is not as inspiring as the front… people wanna see you’re pretty face” you smirk.

Steve could barely stop the growl that passed through his lips “I am the Captain, I am leading-”

“She can film from inside one of the buildings” Bucky intervenes “She’ll be escorted forward and into position and then will be behind cover should something happen”

Steve looks over at you and watches as you throw him a questioning look, goading him to fight back against it even though it was a perfectly good plan, a good compromise.

“Fine, Buck I want you to escort her forward” Steve relents leaning back.

“Thank you Sergeant Barnes,” you say smiling over at Bucky, a shot of electricity shoots through Steve as you smile at his friend.

Steve’s fist clenched as he looked down at the floor. For years he’s watched girls fawning over Bucky and ignoring him and while it wasn’t fun it never really bothered him. He just got used to it, it was just the way the world worked. But now he hated it. Even though he hated that you were here right now, he wanted that smile aimed at him.

Thankfully a good distraction came along as the truck came to a stop and it was time to get on with the mission “Buck go on ahead with Y/N” Steve orders.

Bucky threw him a small salute before guiding you ahead into the small village. Steve watched the entire time as you and Bucky walked further into the village before disappearing inside one of the buildings. Bucky returned a few seconds later before gesturing that they were good to go.

Steve nods in understanding before looking back at the rest of the howling commandos “Let's get going”

To begin with the mission was going smoothly, they swept through the village finding nothing of concern. However just as they were about to make their way out a rogue Hydra agent appeared and started shooting. Steve shouted for you to take cover as he went to attack but you didn’t instead you stayed exactly where you were and started filming.

Thankfully Steve was able to take down the agent but as soon as he dealt with that he spun on his heel stormed over to you, grabbed you by the arm and dragged you back into a nearby building.

“Hey, what the hell get off me!” you shout trying to pull your arm free of his grasp.

“If I order you to get down you get down! Some stupid footage is not worth your life!” Steve growls as he shoves you back into a wall.

“I had it covered! I was safe!” you argue scowling up at him.

“There was an active shooter! You could have been shot!” Steve shouts.

“I can handle my own” you growl stepping forward and getting in his face “I am not some weak pathetic girl with a camera, I am here to do my job because I am the best person to do it, because I can hold my own” steve let out a small scoff shaking his head “don’t believe me? Fine,” you say suddenly pushing him aside.

Quicker than Steve could react you whipped out a pistol and shot 3 bottles that remained on a shelf in the far corner of the room. Steve blinked as he stared at the shelf and the shattered bottles. The rest of the howling commandos rushed into the building expecting a fight only to find you glaring up at Steve as he stared at the far wall.

“Believe me now?” you state putting away your gun before storming back out of the building towards the jeep.

Silence fell in the room after your exit, Steve cleared his throat a couple of times before looking back at his friends “Back to the jeeps” he ordered.

Most of them leave except for Bucky who just smirked as he shook his head “You really need to get better at talking to girls” he chuckles.

That evening Steve sat stewing in his tent. As soon as they got back to base camp Steve went straight to Colonel Phillips to try and convince him that it was a bad idea having you around and the mission today was the perfect example. However, Phillips was having none of it and already had the next mission planned.

“What is your problem!” you demand as you storm into his tent.

“I have no problem” Steve states refusing to look up at you.

You scoff shaking your head at him “You lie worse than a politician” you state crossing your arms “If you have no problem with me why did Colonel Phillips just tell me how you demanded to have me removed!”

“Because you aren’t needed here! I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we’re fighting a war here we don’t need to waste time on pointless missions just so you can get some footage!” Steve snaps standing up from his bunk, gesturing to the outside “I am here to do a job! I have wasted enough time prancing around like a circus monkey I do not need to do it here too when I could be saving lives”

You baulked slightly, your eyes scanning his face as you went silent for a moment “I’m not trying to make you a circus monkey” you say calmly, holding your hands up.

“You don’t think setting up shots for the best angle, or going on fake missions constitutes a circus monkey” Steve scoffs shaking his head.

“No, I think I’m capturing hope” you say your voice still calm, although the edge of frustration was bleeding back in.

“Hope? How is this hope? This is war” Steve states.

You take a deep breath closing your eyes for a moment before finding his cool gaze once more “Look, I don’t know how aware you are of the morale back in the United Kingdom, but it’s pretty poor” you state “my people are getting bombed nightly, they had to send their kids away so they were safe, they live on rations, they see posters that just tell them to keep calm and carry on but how the bloody hell are we supposed to do that when this war has gone on for four years!” Steve blinks in surprise as emotion fills your voice and eyes.

“Y/N” Steve muttered quietly.

“You have invigorated the small shred of hope that we have, knowing that we have this super soldier on our side gives up hope, you give us hope!” you shout pointing at him hard in the chest “So I’m sorry if you don’t enjoy having a camera shoved in your face, but I don’t like watching my people, my family, so close to breaking point and if shoving a camera gives them some hope that maybe this war will be over soon then you will be bloody damn sure that I will do it!”

Silence fell for a moment, the only noise being your shuddered breathing. Steve stared down at you, even with tears rolling down your cheeks you refused to back down, to drop your gaze from his. Steve takes a small step forward, your breathing hitched as he did so, but you still didn’t back down. Instead, your expression turned to one of surprise as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his embrace.

“I’m sorry” he whispered.

You let out a shuddering breath as you sunk into his embrace allowing Steve to hug you tighter “If it helps it wasn’t personal” Steve says quietly earning a small snort of laughter from you “I just…. I didn’t see the bigger picture”

You pulled away enough to wipe away your tears “I know, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like a circus monkey, it was never my intention” you say shaking your head.

“I know…” Steve sighs before holding out his hand “Truce?”

A smile pulls at the corner of your lips “Truce”

From that day onwards Steve built a good rapport with you, he would even go as far as saying you were a close friend. In fact, to say that would be a lie because the way Steve felt with you was something completely new and addictive. He wanted to spend every moment he could with you, he wanted to see you smile and hear you laugh because it was his favourite sound.

Some evenings he’d spend his time with you in your tent, he’d listen as you told him about what you dreamed of doing once the war was over. How you wanted to become the best cinematographer in the business. You’d ask him what he’d do but he never really had an answer, the closest he came was something to do with art.

You’d show him how to use your camera and he’d then spend every opportunity he could filming you instead. He wanted to capture your smile, your laughter, you’d try and push the camera away but he was nothing but persistent. He’d tell you that you looked good in front of the camera too, maybe it was his way of telling you how pretty you were when he was still too scared to do it.

He was too scared to admit how much of his life and heart you occupied. He was so scared that he didn’t think he’d ever admit it to you. However, the universe worked in mysterious ways and clearly the universe wanted Steve to admit his feelings and did so by creating a surprise attack on the next mission.

Steve had felt off about the mission before it even started, it felt like the universe was holding its breath. It put Steve on edge and maybe that edge was what helped him spring into action when he needed to. He trusted you to handle yourself and you had proved time and time again however that didn’t stop him from stepping in when you did need his help. Not that you would admit it and you didn’t, in fact, you snapped at him telling him that you had it covered.

Steve didn’t believe you though, so that evening he made sure to seek you out and make sure you were okay. He found you in your tent, your back facing the entrance but he could tell by your slumped shoulders that you were not okay.

“Y/N,” he said softly as he made his way over to sit beside you.

“I’m fine” you whispered, quietly sniffling.

“It’s okay if you’re not” Steve said putting a hand on your shoulder.

“I… I just…” you stutter before letting out a long sigh “I would have died today if it wasn’t for you” you admit quietly.

Steve lets out a long sigh as he wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer “I never would have let anything happen to you”

“I know… it’s still scary you know… I mean, we’re good now but would it have been the same before?” you ask him.

“Yeah, even when you infuriated me I wouldn’t have let anything happen, not just because it's my job, but because it's you,” Steve says softly “Even then I knew you were incredible, I wanted you to smile at me instead of Bucky, I… the way I feel has only gotten stronger”

“Steve… I…” you whisper looking up at him with wide eyes “I really like you too”

A wide smile grows on Steve’s face as he gently cups your cheek and leans in. The kiss was soft in nature but it felt like fireworks, the whole world faded away into a blur and the only thing that existed was him and you. The magnetic force he’d felt all this time was at his peak now and he couldn’t pull away even if he wanted to, his hand moved into your hair as he pulled you closer. His honour as a gentleman was the only thing that stopped him from taking it any further.

“I want to take you out somewhere, a real, proper date, I want to do this right” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against you.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed we’re kind of at war at the moment” you point out making Steve laugh as he kisses you once more.

“Trust me I noticed, but you deserve the best and I’m willing to wait if you are” he says.

“I can wait” you smile softly “I don’t have to wait to kiss you again though do I?” you add as your lips twist into a smirk.

“No, I would be insane to say that” Steve grins as he pulls you closer once more and kisses you as deeply as he’d dare go.

2012

Steve hated hindsight. He hated how crystal clear it was. As he hit replay in the footage of you he hated how he knew he’d never see or hear that laughter again. He hated that he now knew he never got the chance to take you on that date, to tell you that he loved you, he hated that plane from taking him away from you, he hated himself.

There was only one thing he knew, and that was if someone told him they’d invented a time machine. He wouldn’t hesitate to jump right in and go home to you.

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Masterlist

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[matiqore]

comfort - elisa de almeida

elisa de almeida x reader (y/n) fluff! (1249 words)

summary: you won your game, but you scored an own goal and can't stop thinking about it. elisa is there to comfort you.

note: first fic on here so i hope u enjoy :)) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the game ended in a victory for the team. a final 3-1 score against milan, you were all pleased. two yellows were thrown out and there were countless uncalled fouls, yet your teammates stood in front of you huddled in a circle, singing and laughing as they celebrated the win. elisa looked at you and opened up a space in the huddle, urging you to come join, so you did. milan walked past to grab their bottles after the handshake and watched, whispering and frowning as you all smiled and chanted.

hands slapped your back, complimenting your excellent defence in the second half of the game. your hands went around your teammates shoulders while you forced a smile, complimenting your friends on their game play too. elisa's hand dropped to your waist, squeezing your side and nodding at you to check if you were okay. you smiled and leaned into her in response. everyone was breathing heavily, sweat dripping down your faces and necks while you all cheered. afterwards, you all made your way towards the locker rooms through the tunnel, with elisa staying behind to talk to one of her old friends, kissing your hand before she left. ''i'll be back soon, my love. i need to catch up with someone, okay?''

''okay, have fun baby.'' 

without your girlfriend at your side, your smile quickly faded. you took a large sip out of your bottle, harshly pulling it away and then looking to the floor. you cursed at yourself in your mind for that own goal, shaking your head and cringing at the memory. 'If it weren't for me and my pathetic attempt to block that easy save for our keeper, we could have won 3-0. how could I make such a stupid fucking mistake?' insecurity took over you, replaying the moment in full detail behind your closed eyes, the sound of your cleats clacking against the ground fading out.

- flashback

you went for the slide tackle, striking your foot out to block the ball without touching milan's striker. but, you were too slow. the ball swiped against your foot landed in the bottom left corner of your own goal. the look on picaud's face was enough to make you press your eyes shut. you sat down on the field and your head fell in your knees, you bit your bottom lip to stifle a scream. the cheers from milan were humiliating, you wanted to disappear, you wanted to go back in time. you felt disappointed eyes watching you from the audience, filling the space around you and suffocating you completely.

then, strong arms wrapped around your own, elisa's voice whispering sweet, encouraging words close to your ear as she rested her head on your shoulder. her tone was velvet and honest, calming you down immediately. 

''it's okay, baby. stand up, I need you by my side for the rest of this game. please?''

you nodded and she moved to stand in front of you, taking your arms and pulling you up from the ground. her hands cupped your face and you looked up into her eyes, holding onto her wrists and taking a deep breath in. she kissed your forehead lightly and pulled you into a quick but loving hug. ''I love you.'' she reminded, your hands breaking connection as she walked back to her position.

-present

your fists clenched as you rewatched the goal in your mind, catching the attention of a teammate close behind. a comforting arm wrapped around you and the smell of sakina's perfume pulled you out of your thoughts.

''I'm so proud of you, you played amazing today y/n. forget about the goal, okay? you saved so many shots today.'' she said, smiling and rubbing your shoulder as you entered the locker room.

''thank you, sakina. you were unbelievable today.'' you replied, plastering a small smile across your face but not making eye contact. 

you took her hand off your shoulder and went to your locker, grabbing your bag and sitting down to quickly take off your shoes and shin pads. prêcheur started his speech, listing his favourite moments from today and also areas to be improved. you blocked it all out, not wanting to listen anymore and needing the comfort of your bed at home. elisa sat down at your side, worriedly watching you and occasionally cheering and laughing along with the other girls. when you heard coach say your name you winced and lifted your head toward him, still avoiding as much eye contact as possible. elisa noticed and placed her hand on top of yours, tracing your veins slowly with her index finger - the way she does every time you are feeling anxious.

''y/n, other than that own goal, you played fantastic today, especially in the second half. you bounced back from that mistake immediately and didn't let another ball get past you. for that, I am happy.'' he said, bringing his hands together to start an applause in the room.

all of your teammates clapped, coming forward to high five you and pat your back. elisa stayed at your side, scooching closer on the seat and squeezing your hand. prêcheur started to speak to others now and you head went back down. leaning close to you, elisa spoke, ''see, my love? you were so good today. forget about the goal, everyone else has.'' her grip tightening on your hand and her head nodding to make sure you understood. you nodded back, feeling too embarrassed to speak up.

after the team talk, everyone got changed and ready to go. you and elisa were the first ones to leave, hugging your teammates goodbye and walking out of the locker room, hand in hand. you were both silent on the way to her car, a nice type of silent though, a silent which allowed you to relax and try to forget. you turned to admire her, her side profile perfectly outlined by the sun, the way her free arm swung back and forth like a childs, and her perfect blush lips, which curled into a smirk when she noticed you staring. 

''you okay, baby? or, just enjoying the view?'' she asked, grinning wide and shoving you softly with her shoulder. your cheeks went red and you giggled at her joke, chewing the corner of your lip. you usually had a snarky remark whenever she joked, but she knew you were still hung up on the own goal. elisa pursed her lips and stopped walking, your body slinking back to her when you tried to take another step. you let out a ''hm?'' in confusion, and elisa took your other hand in hers. you took a few steps closer as she pulled you forward, and you tilted your head when she frowned at you.

''you are an incredible player, my love,'' she started, now holding your shoulders and looking at you with serious eyes. you looked back at her, not quite accepting her compliments as the goal replayed in your mind. you took her loose shirt in your hands and nervously played with the fabric. ''you are the best defender I have ever played with, no arguments. do not let this one mistake get to you, understand?'' she said, grabbing your chin in her right hand to make you look into her eyes. she made you nod first, then made you do it yourself while you smiled brightly at her.

she smiled back, pressing a deep kiss to your lips. ''I love you more than anything.'' 

''I love you most. can you drive us home now, baby?''

[creedslove]

WE CAN'T 💔 - PART TWO

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: things aren't great between you and Javier after you refused going out with him, but you two are just too stubborn to admit your feelings

(This is the second part of the WE CAN'T 💔 drabble)

• PART ONE

Warnings: angst, a tiny bit of fluff, Javier is a dick

A/N: guess what, I rewatched the McPickle scene and got jealous again 😀🤌

1.3k

Waking up the next morning to a cold empty bed, knowing that if you hadn't refused Javier's invitation, you would probably be waking up in his bed, or having his weight and warmth next to you; if maybe you hadn't felt so disgusted by Javier's clear acquaintance of those hookers, you would be lying next to him. It was a bittersweet feeling, on one hand, that was definitely a deal breaker for you, it made you uncomfortable to know he was just so regular for those girls he had certain intimacies such as knowing their real name, and not only that, they liked him, they giggled and blushed when he was around, whenever some of them were arrested for whatever reason, they'd always ask for Javi and of course, he would be nothing but sweet to them.

You could handle it if it was in the past, if you knew you could overlook that behavior, ignore the jokes around the office and give him a new chance, but the problem was mainly because Javier didn't simply want that; he was more comfortable in his evils ways, shielding himself from any commitments, running away from relationships and feelings, never wanting to settle down and allow himself to feel things, to him, the deepest connection he engaged was one where he didn't have to face any rejections nor personal attachments; he paid, he fucked, he came and he sent home. When he dared break the cycle he found himself so comfortable in it, he got rejected by you, so he vowed himself he wouldn't give you or anyone another try. He was fine just the way he was, not even knowing what came to him in order to make him have that awful idea of asking you out. He just didn't have the patience to go through it all over again, first dates, getting to know each other, flirting, and all of the ritual before he could actually sleep with the person, so he would stick to Helena, Gabriella, Vanessa and all the girls who loved pleasing him.

He wasn't sure how he would act once he faced you at work, he decided not to worry about that, burying his face into Vanessa's neck while she moved her hips against his, his cock throbbing at the feel of her tight pussy. He closed his eyes and fought hard the urge of pretending you were in his lap, he didn't want to, you'd refused him, he didn't want to even think of you, all it mattered at that moment was his pleasure and his pleasure alone.

•••

However, facing Javier in the office wasn't as bad as you thought it could be, just as you would never know he was also anxious about it. You were worried Javier would treat you like shit, would be rude or mean, and he worried you would spread what happened through the office, telling everyone you refused him, because of his ways. And yet, neither of you did what the other feared. Things were a little tense, Javi kept a lot to himself, not talking to you unless it was necessary, but when he did, he was soft and polite. The flirting and compliments were missing, but you would survive that. You liked Javier, a lot. But you two were incompatible and nothing could change that.

So days turned into weeks that passed by really fast and before you could even realize things, your birthday was right around the corner; in the meantime a lot had happened: you and Javi drifted away from each other, Connie had left Steve and the chaos in Colombia continued draining the three of you in a spiral of violence and depression, but once in a while, you felt the need of shaking things up and having fun, and because of that, you decided to throw yourself a small birthday party. There would be a cake, booze and some friends from work. Steve had already confirmed, being totally lost without his wife, not knowing if she'd broken things up with him or not; some other friends from work also said yes, but there was one missing: Javier Peña.

When you walked to his desk, he was on the phone, mumbling and chuckling, you could hear the name Gabi. You fought all the desire you had of rolling your eyes and walking away from him, but the moment he noticed your presence, he ended the call and turned his attention to you.

"Hey, Javi… my birthday is coming up next week, I'll have a small gathering at my place and I'd like you to come.. you don't have to bring me any presents, though"

He was quite surprised at the invitation, nodding and telling you he'd be there.

You were so excited about your party, getting ready and dressing up so nicely for it. People didn't take long to arrive, Steve was the first, of course, being the upstairs neighbor, he got to your apartment to help you up with everything. You chatted about many things, Connie, Peña, and work, and you realized Steve was actually pretty nice. Not that you didn't know that, but you often only paid attention to Javier, he was the only one you wanted to see.

As the party went on, you couldn't help but stare at the door every now and then, wondering what time Javi would be there. You were kind of excited to see him, perhaps you missed him, or perhaps you wanted him to see you, desire you and realize what he'd been missing because of his inability to seek cheap comfort.

But just as you waited through the whole party, Javier never came. As people began saying their goodbyes and leaving, you realized he probably didn't even have any intentions of showing up in the first place. He was such a dick, you couldn't even believe you even thought you could be friends with him.

Steve could tell you were disappointed and he knew exactly the reason why, better saying the reason who, you were disappointed in the first place, so he decided to stick around some more, helping you clean up and gather the empty liquor bottles.

As you were dragging one garbage bag full of them through the hallway, Javier walked in. His arms were locked tight around Gabriella's waist and you stopped dead in your tracks as you stared at them. The hooker swallowed looking at the two of you and feeling the tension in the air. Javier licked his lips and remained silent. He didn't know what to do, should he wish you a happy birthday or should he pretend he'd forgotten about it. Your heart was shattered, even if you didn't know if he did that to get back at you for declining his date or if he just did it out of cruelty, but it didn't really matter, at the end of the day, it just showed you you mattered less than a hooker to a man who claimed to have feelings for you, a man who claimed to at least care about you as a friend.

Steve walked towards you and held your face between his hands, learning forward and kissing your lips. His hand stroked your cheek, at the same time his warm lips were against yours, you didn't expect that kiss to feel so good, just as you didn't expect him kissing you at all.

As he broke the kiss, he smiled at you softly

"Good night, Y/N" he said gently and turned to Javier "night Javi" he said as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't just kissed the woman Javier had feelings for but was too much of a coward to stop hurting her. Steve went home feeling glad; Javier deserved to see you with another man after breaking your heart just as you deserved some affection, even if Steve didn't love you, he cares about you enough to try and give you a special moment in your birthday, something Javier didn't even try doing it.

____

[cloveroctobers]

FEBRUARY FLUFF — JUAN “JUICE” ORTIZ.

A/N: Juice was always my man when it came to SOA and I’ll forever be traumatized and bitter over his storyline + how he was treated. That’s probably one of the reasons why I’ll never do a rewatch tbfh. In my mind he’s thriving and I’ve always wanted happiness for him and that’s what he’s gonna get here! Also my first time ever writing for this man so go easy on me although this is more HC (my version) form. Have a happy love day whether it’s with a significant other, family, friends, or just yourself! know that you’re always worthy and capable of receiving and giving love and not just on this one day of the year 🩷🫡

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + I’m using: 19. "can i see your hand?" / "sure, why?" / "so i can see how well it fits with mine." + 35. "let's take a stupid walk for our stupid mental health!"

જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩

When you got word from your mother that Juan was back in town for good, you had to see so for yourself.

January’s always been gloomy but when you came face to face with the man you haven’t seen in years at the front door of his mother’s, you wanted to collapse but managed to keep your composure.

Juan’s sad but somewhat still warm eyes are unsure at first, taking in your facial expression but you clear his concerns as you’re yanking him tightly to your body in a tender embrace.

And he feels like he might just break down himself in your arms.

You were just what he needed.

The both of you had to make up for lost time and Juan had to keep convincing you that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Things didn’t work out in his favor in California (little did you know, he barely made it out alive) and Juan never wanted you to visit, although your older brother and his girlfriend, Saskia lived out there—which means you took trips but in a sense you learned to accept that was Juan’s way of protecting you from the demons that latched onto his soul.

You couldn’t take it personally since Ms. Hilda, his mother never visited either but spoke to him every couple of months—which may have been hard or if not harder for her.

Although the both of your mother’s were good friends that didn’t mean the both of you didn’t have your share of childhood trauma’s (because of them) that bled into your adulthood.

Nonetheless the both of you spent a month reconnecting, taking each day by day as it took to rebuild a friendship.

It felt right having Juan back in your life and he can honestly say the same.

“I never knew how much I missed you until I saw your face again,” he said to you over the phone one night.

Juan’s always been a sweetheart and never had an issue expressing his love for you to the point many kids back in school questioned if you were dating.

It never happened but that didn’t mean Juan didn’t want it to yet you found yourself in a few relationships here and there. Which was brought up by your mother during a birthday dinner for your brother (who was visiting) that February.

“I find it hard to believe that you’re still single. I mean hell, when is anybody going to give me a grandchild?” Your mother chatted over a glass of Cabernet playfully glaring at your brother who cleared his throat before setting her eyes back on you, “You know I saw Marlon just the other day?”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at this. You’ve only been at the table for ten minutes, supposedly going over the menu and yet here your mother was worrying about children and your love life.

And she just had to bring your college ex into it.

“Really,” you gave faux interest as you viewed the entrees.

“Mhm. He’s been divorced for a few years now and he’s single. I even showed him a picture of you to see if he remembered you. He laughed about it and said he thought you were with Juan now.”

Your brother is coughing now on his own drink and his girlfriend of four years is patting him on the back.

Glancing to your right you stare at Juan rubbing at his face in thought, who mentally seemed to be having a tough day today. He stayed at your house last night and apologized over breakfast about how he got into these dark moods.

You assured him that he didn’t have to apologize for his feelings. Asking if he wanted to be your plus one tonight, only if it was up for it.

He’d push through it for you because he was devoted to being near you as much as possible since he didn’t want to lose anymore time with his best friend.

How would Marlon assume this? You’re turning back to your mother now, furrowed brows while you reply, “why did he think that?”

“He said he saw the both of you running around the park together. He wanted to say hi but you and Juan seemed to be racing and he didn’t want to interrupt.” Your mother informs, staring at you two underneath her eyelashes with her lips moving back to the rim of her glass.

This didn’t make you feel any sort of way because you also haven’t seen Marlon in years either. You weren’t really checking for him but—the breakup didnt turn sour—it was mutual! however it was interesting to see different perspectives on how people viewed you and Juan.

Juan was gone from New York by the time you both reached your early twenties and by then you were still with Marlon. Juan would visit up at school and hung out with you two a couple of times! even when Marlon tried to put him onto some college girls…there was a part of Juan that felt like he was guilty of something.

Even when he engaged in activities—sure it may have felt great in the moment but he always ended up feeling like shit since he wanted it to be you.

So yes you were part of the reason why he got out of New York and to find a better sense of direction for himself.

You’re shrugging your shoulders redirecting the conversation, “well..I’m sorry things didn’t work out with his wife.”

“Are you?”

“Mom! Chill.” Your brother stepped in which you were somewhat thankful for. Why were you always getting shit on when you knew it was on the tip of your mother’s tongue that your brother “should” be thinking about marriage since she hinted at you once before during your girl’s day.

Although you and your dad both were aware that your brother didn’t want to get married.

“I’m just saying you should think about it or what about that guy from high school? The funny looking one.”

“They were both goofy to me. Especially Stu.” Your brother snorted while you shielded your middle finger from your mother to direct at your sibling.

Your first boyfriend was senior year and he cheated on you with a redhead because he got dumped prior to asking you out. It made sense to him but definitely not to you.

Yeah that’s highschool stupidity for you!

Juan shuddered at the mention of your first boyfriend, “man that guy? He was ridiculously obnoxious in and outside of class and hung out with that other guy…the one who gave me serious serial killer vibes.”

“You did always say that,” you laughed to yourself and couldn’t deny it. You never wanted to be alone with Stu’s best friend at the time, the way his dark eyes bored into yours always made you feel uneasy.

“He’s harmless!” Stu would persuade you before always leaving you with him for at least a minute or two.

Your mother pried, “Well where is he now?”

“Hell if I know? Probably married to another redhead with three or four kids? Still possibly cheating? What is this, a walk down memory lane?”

Juan could sense you were getting agitated about this and placed his hand right above your knee which made you exhale.

Your mother is raising her hands, “I’m just looking out for you and your brother’s happiness. That’s all.”

“I am happy. Go dig in his business then, it’s his birthday anyway.” You suggested while your mother just scoffed.

Raising your brows, your mother continued knowing that you were always ready to challenge her, “I will but when’s the last time you’ve been in a serious relationship?”

“Are you the expert when it comes to relationships now? You waited six months after the divorce from dad to get married to someone else. You settled for dad’s bullshit for years and now suddenly you want to micromanage what goes on in mine? Are you keeping this same energy with your step kids?”

Your brother is calling your name as a warning now but you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t triggered.

growing up having your mother constantly in your ear saying to you, “you’ll never get a bf because of xyz.” Simply from little stupid things you would do as a pre-teen to teenage years was damaging because you were just an insecure kid not worrying about romantic relationships in the slightest. Although you had a mother who seemed to be more concerned about the male gaze for you.

So what if your room got messy? So what if there were days where you didn’t want to be bothered with your hair? Or was too much in grown folks business when your mother would gossip on the phone about inappropriate subjects right in front of you! while also bringing up all of your business to her friends or family members like some sort of humiliation tactic and then never taking your emotions into account when you voiced your discomfort?

Don’t get it wrong, of course you had love for your mother but you couldn’t erase what was said and done. A list of things that still stuck with you and things that you should perhaps just “let go of,” yet she still felt comfortable to talk about your love life like you were some low self-esteem kid.

You never had that relationship where you felt safe to share anything with your mother because of her critiques.

“Hold on now, I’m just trying to make conversation—

“You don’t need to. Not when it comes with an opinion i never asked for to match.”

Then comes the tears and Saskia is tending to her, whisking your mother away to the bathroom with her crying to Sas about how she, “tries to be a good mother and these are the things she gets.”

“Did you have to do this on my day?” Your brother sighs while your eyes are in slits.

“You and dad are the exact same, always expecting me to just take it. I don’t give a damn if it was Easter, if she’s coming at me then I’m going to let her know. I know she’ll always be mom but she refuses to ever see my side on anything.”

“Why does it have to be about sides? We’re family at the end of the day.”

The famous excuse for it all so it seems!

“And we must always be on some we are the world bullshit too, no matter what huh?”

Juan covers his snort at this, which earns him a look from your brother, leaving Juan to mumble out an apology.

It’s quiet for a moment as your brother tries to figure out how to make this okay but you don’t want to stick around to continue this dinner. In your eyes it felt ruined already.

Only seconds pass when you decide it’s best if you go. You’re on your feet, slipping back into your outerwear before wrapping an arm across your brother’s shoulders squeezing him as you peck his temple.

“Love you, mean it. I’ll take you out myself at another time.” You say as all your older brother can do is nod his head, briefly resting his hand on top of yours before you let go.

You’re peering at Juan who’s still seated and say, “want to take a walk with me?”

“Sure, whatever you want, yeah!” He sits up before grabbing his beanie and jacket, “I don’t care.”

You quickly begin to walk off before your sas and your mom come back, sending a silent message to your old friend that you’ll be outside.

Your brother tells Juan, “look after my sister, okay?”

“You got it,” Juan says, wishing the older man another birthday wish before making his way out to you.

The both of you are now walking side by side, enjoying the city’s lights and each other’s company.

“Thanks for coming with me. The longer I sat there getting into it with my mom the faster my brain was telling me to get the fuck out. I figured: let's take a stupid walk for our stupid mental health!"

Juan chuckles at this, “I know what you mean. I also had a disagreement with my sister too before I crashed at yours.”

That revealed just a dash about what led to Juan’s mood last night.

“Yeah?” Your eyes peep to the left of you at the beanie-wearing man, “You want to talk about it?”

It wasn’t much different with what went down with you and yours. Except Juan’s mother was the one to break it up and scold him for defending himself against his sister.

She still felt like he didn’t have himself together (despite the fact that he was now working at a mechanic shop and had a side tech gig at an outlet mall—paid under the table now! If you’re talking about his mental then that was a different story!) either and was the main one who told him not to go out to California. She begged him to stay and that began their estrangement.

His sister blamed him for his own unhappiness and if he would have stayed here maybe he wouldn’t have dealt with that darkness charming brought him.

Which hurt to hear.

He walks even closer to you now as he said, “nah, not really if that’s okay?”

“What?” You lightly bumped his shoulder, “Course it is, just know you can when you want to.”

He gives you a lopsided smile, “Thanks.”

You loop an arm around Juan’s waist, resting your head against his shoulder, as you blended into the city together.

Juan’s dreamed of times like these except you were miles apart but hearts still in sync.

The silence between you two lets you know that you’re both holding onto something so heavy but find that it doesn’t weigh as much when you’re both near each other.

By the time you’re making your way back to your side of town, one subway ride later and more miles to walk back to your place—the night feels like any normal routine.

Eventually the both of you fall into chatter and soft smiles as you continue your rest on the subway, head tucked underneath juice’s chin that his facial hair still pricks your thick hair but you don’t mind.

You’re both laughing about old times when you reach your 1975 raised ranch, half standing on the steps and you’re wiping the tears from the corner of your eyes, “you coming in?”

The last thing Juan wanted to do was head back to his ma’s side of town so a dip of his head was all that you needed, sending him a smile and a nudge of your head to welcome him back inside.

“We gotta eat something although you’re really not supposed to eat after seven…”Juan says to you after kicking off his shoes and heading straight from the main entrance pass the living room right to the kitchen.

“I forgot how much of a health freak you are.” You tease, hanging up your coats in the near by closet.

Juan’s mumbling to himself as he moves around the cut off kitchen, “And you need more fruits and veggies in here. What’s the point of having a juicer and having nothing to use it?”

“My common law sister in law? If you believe in that sort of thing! got it for me. It works as decoration,” You argued, “I can just go buy me a fruit or veggie juice.”

“And be wasteful of this beautiful gift?”

“If you want it, I’ll regift it to you for a belated Christmas gift then.” You sass, going to lean in the archway.

Juan shakes his head while he’s eyeing all the ingredients he’s laid out on the counter, “no point in doing that if I’m just going to be over here majority of the time anyway.”

“Oh is that right?”

“I mean…yeah…if you’re comfortable with that.”

You roll your eyes, “I’ll take you for as long as I can have you, Juanie and you know that.”

He casts a smile over his shoulder at you before waving his hand along formally towards the dining room, “have a seat. This won’t be anything extravagant since your selection of food kinda sucks…we’ll talk about that later but I need my work space clear.”

You saluted, “heard chef,” before you walked into the next room over.

Which leaves you to send off a text to your brother letting him know you both made it safe before choosing to browse social media.

The words of your mother did get into your head as you’re sitting here searching up your two exes and you laugh to yourself at how foolish you were being. You haven’t though about either of those two in a long time, not in the same way you thought about Juan nearly every day.

Yet here you were letting your mother get into your head again: about two men that didn’t hold meaning to your life now.

“Bon appetite.” Juan tells you after awhile, placing the plates down on the table and picking the seat right next to you.

“And what do we call this meal?”

“P.O. In 10. Which stands for: party’s over in ten minutes.”

You both stare at each other and let out a laugh, “how clever.”

A struggle meal of: ground turkey on ranch Doritos topped with cheese and left over black olives with a side of strawberry moscato was your dinner for that night and you didn’t dare complain.

Juan’s gone into one of his rapid conversations of one of his old friends, a guy named chibs that he would have loved for you to meet and of course you find it sweet that he still found someone to speak highly of when he’s vaguely told you that all was not well in charming.

“can i see your hand?" You suddenly ask the man who’s grown out his hair and sported facial hair that made him appear older.

Juan’s finishing off the last of his homemade nacho’s, stuffing his face but doesn’t hesistate as he places his smooth veiny but much larger one into yours, “sure, why?"

You’re tracing the lines of his palm and recall the time the both of you went to a palm reader on senior skip day for shits and giggles although Juan seemed to believe every word the lady said.

He said he had a great tía from Puerto Rico that he met once or twice who was very spiritual but different from a palm reader. His mother got pissed off when she brought her work to the house that one time when she was supposed to be looking after him and his sister.

That soon became Juan’s job.

You wondered about how these hands had to scrap their way through just to survive.

Then you explain, “so i can see how well it fits with mine." Before interlacing your right with his and Juan can’t help but to grin at you.

And there’s that boyish smile that spreads to the corners of his eyes that you can’t resist while he speaks with you, “You’re so cute, you’re corny. If you wanted to makeout, all you had to do was just say so.”

You don’t think about it, “alright, maybe I do.”

“What?! Don’t joke like that.” Juan’s eyes are wide now, ready to slip his hand right from yours.

“I’m not.” You lift your shoulders as Juan sits back in the chair with a sigh.

Juan’s staring at you with a curiosity that makes you want to look away but you can’t.

“What if all we needed was to just be honest with ourselves and look at what’s directly in front of us.”

“…I don’t follow.”

“Us, Juan! I always felt like i was waiting for something, even with the others after Stu and Marlon. There was always this pull and maybe that was you…and if this is all in my head just say that. You can tell me.”

Juan rubs at his face in thought. He already knew how he felt about you and how it never went away.

“No…it’s not all in your head. I don’t know if you know this but…you’ve always been it for me and I—learned to be okay with just being your best friend since that’s what you always wanted from me. I thought moving across the country was the answer but that only hurt us more.”

“Part of me felt like you didn’t care who I was with. You just took it for what it was.”

“You’re so wrong,” Juan scoffed out some laughter, “I just wanted you be happy and not be selfish about wishing it was me that got to do everything with you all the time. They took my space.”

You instantly reply, “Never could.”

“No?”

“No, blockhead.” You lightly grip and shake his shoulders.

“Now we’re down to the insults I see.”

You shrug with a smirk, “Let me kiss you…just to see.”

“See what?” Juan felt his heart hammering in his chest now, “That we’re completely in love with each other? A kiss won’t tell me what I don’t already know, babe.”

A scrunch of your nose is present, “Not you sounding like you don’t want to kiss me—

“What—no—

Sighing you got up from the chair and plopped right down in Juan’s lap, wrapping your arms across his shoulders and staring into his eyes that softened as they settled on your close proximity.

“You smell nice,” he awkwardly says, carefully placing his hands right down on your hip.

You laugh as you move your hands to cup his face, lightly caressing your thumbs over his facial hair, looking at his lips and then back to his eyes before you lean forward to place your lips right on his.

His hands tighten around you but his shoulders seem to relax. Juan can’t hold back the moan in the back of his throat that escapes his parted lips but that doesn’t stop him from kissing you back.

There’s tongue in there somewhere in the mix and the hold the both of you have on each other is enough to erase the miles that were once placed between you.

His hooked nose brushes against yours as you pull back, eyes closed and trying to catch your breath. His forehead rests against yours and Juan has to clear his throat and blink several times in hopes of getting rid of the static that sits in the center of his bottom lip.

“Wow,” he exhales with a grin while you’re playing with the strand of curls at the back of his head.

A satisfied smile is on your face, “What was that shit you were talking?”

“I wasn’t talking shit,” Juan frowns, “I was just saying that my heart already knows what it wants without putting my lips on yours. I loved you the moment your mom forced you to be my friend.”

You shake your head with a smile, “that didn’t take much force, Ortiz. I always thought you could be the one.”

“And…you never said anything why? That would have saved us a lot of time!”

You shrug, “I think our love story is meant to start now.”

“Nope it’s been a W.I.P. but now the progress is actually progressing…”

You squint, “With both of us tasting like Doritos and strawberry wine?”

“If it makes sense to mother universe then who am I to argue with her?”

“At least one of us gets it then.” You kiss his cheek and go to move off his lap but he yanks you right back, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

“Yeah, that maybe love’s always got our back in the end.”

“So…that’s what’s poking me right now?”

Juan feels his face burn, “Sorry—I—couldn’t help it.”

“I could—

“No. Nope. Not yet, let me just hold you and get used to the fact that I get to kiss you from now on. If…we get to labeling each other that is.”

“You want to be mine, Ortiz?”

“Don’t tell me you can’t tell.” He groans pressing his forehead into your shoulder leaving you laughing.

“Only if I get to be yours.”

“Fuck yeah!”

You nuzzle your face against his profile as you hum, “I’ll love you even more for the rest of my life Juan Carlos Ortiz…sounds like a plan?”

And he feels his heart swell at that, knowing that he didn’t have to be alone anymore the longer he had you in his arms.

“Sounds like the best plan, yet. And I love you too, so much.” He gently says into your ear before you turn to him again, capturing his lips once more.

જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩

February fluff anthology series continues here.

[okay-j-hannah]

Hear My Words

Doctor Who : Fic

Tenth Doctor x Reader

Word Count: 2352

Warnings: I’ve had to rewatch Doctor Who to get back into writing for the characters and... of course I’m swooning left and right. I need to watch everything David Tennant now 🤦‍♀️

Request: “Hi! I wanted to request a fluff hurt/comfort John smith/10th doctor? Like the reader has a crush on the doctor, and during the events of Human Nature, they get really sad seeing John fall in love with Joan, but when he’s the doctor again, he tells the reader it’s always been them? Thank you and hope you’re doing good!” Anon

A/N: Using the chameleon arch meant putting you in charge of John Smith, but it also meant the Doctor was free to fall in love much to your dismay

The tardis was quaking beneath their feet, parts exploding in showers of sparks. Fireworks of brilliant gold and fiery orange cascading until burning out against the grated floor. The erratic flying sent the Doctor and (Y/N) tumbling against the railing.

“Did they see your face?” the Doctor yelled over the steaming console.

“No, I don’t think so,” (Y/N) said frantically, “Doctor, what are we going to do?”

He paused his searching to look at her. Between the smoke and the sparks, she looked frightened – really properly scared. And it broke his hearts. He wanted to take her by the hand and whisper sweet words of endearment and comfort. He wanted to let her know that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

His fingers itched to reach for her. His legs begged to run for her. His hearts pleaded to embrace her.

But he couldn’t. Not when he’d played the façade so well.

She had no idea that he was completely smitten by her.

“We’re going to have to disappear,” he finally breathed. Yes – disappear. If he could conceal them from the hunting party then no harm would befall her.

“Alright,” she said shakily, though relief painted her tone. There was always relief when the Doctor had a plan. “How are we going to do that?”

His hands clenched, “I’ve got to stop being a Time Lord.” His eyes flickered up and down her frame before pouncing to the console. He frantically continued his search for an object.

“I’m sorry, what?” (Y/N) cried, “How is that possible?” Her heart was in her throat, “Doctor, you’re frightening me.”

He clutched at a silver fob watch, running for her. “I’m going to rewrite my biology. Can’t do the same to you, I’m afraid. You’ll have to improvise.” He tossed the watch into the air, catching it to gain her attention. “Rewriting means my memories too. You’ll have to be in charge.”

“I don’t understand.”

He cursed himself – urged himself to speak slower. “I have to completely conceal myself. To do that I’ll have to become something else. I’ll have to become human. And I’ll need you to look after me.”

His arms felt warm and heavy as he kept them from holding her. In times of panic, when the adrenaline was high, it was always harder to keep his wants under control.

“I don’t…”

“I need you to take care, (Y/N). Can you ensure that I don’t open this watch until the most dire of circumstances? Can you make sure that I believe myself human until we can escape?”

Her eyes were beginning to water at the sight of his begging.

“Doctor…” she breathed, “I…”

~~~

John shot up in bed, gripping his blankets and chasing the last images of the dream. Of the angelic look on the girl’s face.

He rubbed at his eyes, “Gracious…” he sighed. “I’m getting that one more often than I like.” Of the catalogue of dreams that plagued him at night, the one about the kitchen maid became more and more frequent.

And it always left him with a race in his chest.

He would spend the morning teaching his classes and reading his books and seeking a glance of Nurse Redfern. But by the end of the day he sought a glimpse of the kitchen maid, (Y/N). He yearned for a bit of conversation with her – a much needed reprieve on his ever consumed mind.

His head always felt stuffed, as if a dense volume of water filled his cranium to the brim until the pressure was too much. It somehow felt lighter after an evening with Miss. (Y/N).

He found his wandering footsteps descending the stairs to the kitchens, running into a few flustered maids.

“Sorry, sir.”

“Pardon me, sir – are you lost?”

He’d wave them off, “No, I assure you I know where I’m going. Good evening.” The stone corridors became second nature as he found the staff room beside the bustling kitchen preparing dinner.

“Ah, excuse me,” he’d gesture to a lady’s maid, “Where might I find… oh, there she is, never mind.” And the sight of (Y/N) made his heart tug in a way that felt overwhelming, as if it tried to consume his entire chest.

“Sir,” she muttered, sounding surprised even if her eyes spoke otherwise. John always found his way downstairs at the end of the day, “Do you wish to have your dinner in your quarters? I could bring it up personally.”

“Lovely idea,” he said, “But I would rather enjoy a meal here with you, if you were agreeable.”

She urged the warmth from her cheeks, “That’s rather improper, sir.”

He shrugged, “I’ve found my quarters rather suffocating as of late.”

“Very well, sir,” she curtseyed, “You can find yourself comfortable in the staffing quarters and I’ll be there momentarily with supper.”

(Y/N) scurried to the kitchens with a squirming stomach, always worried that the reason John sought her out was because he finally remembered who he was – that he was becoming himself again. But as always he just took comfort in her familiarity.

There was something about her, he would say, that would put him at ease. As if they were companions in another life.

But she knew their coming conversation would be of dreams and fantastical stories and the possible future with other staff members. Inevitably they would dwell on the topic of Nurse Redfern.

And it would hurt her to encourage him to speak with the nurse, to befriend her and see what would grow.

“Here you are, sir,” she said, placing a delectable dish in front of him. She personally chose his favorites from the serving platters about to be sent up. “Will there be anything else?”

He snapped his head towards her, “Surely you’ll stay. Please, sit beside me.”

She held back a retort, already hearing the gossip jumping between her coworkers. “If it please you, sir.”

“It always has, (Y/N). I want to speak with you about an interesting dream I had last night.”

She nodded, retrieving her meager servants stew and sitting beside him. “I figured as much.”

“What do you mean?” He was amused.

“Just that you normally come knocking when you’ve had a funny dream or some peculiar thought.”

“Well, you’re right.” He forked around his supper, “I dreamt that we were on another one of those adventures.”

(Y/N) kept her eyes down, pondering her stew. She wondered what memory was forcing its way to the surface of his mind.

“You were so terribly frightened about something chasing us,” he chuckled, “And I told you I had to become a human to hide us.”

She stilled for all but a moment, containing the inflection in her voice, “I hadn’t realized you weren’t human in these adventures.”

“Neither had I,” he laughed, eyeing her simple supper. “Would you care for a bit of mine?” He gestured to the seasoned chicken and roasted vegetables and rich sauce.

(Y/N) couldn’t help but chortle, “Sir, there are rules between kitchen maids and professors.”

“Rules about a bit of chicken?”

She gave him a look, “Are you like this with any of the other staff? Do you blur the lines with them too?”

He cleared his throat, using a teacup saucer to give her a portion of his meal, “You cooked it, you should be able to eat it too.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, “But that didn’t answer my question.”

John swallowed a mouthful, “Has she asked about me at all?”

(Y/N) burned her tongue on the stew. She knew he was going to say Nurse Redfern, but it didn’t make hearing it any better.

“Once or twice.”

“And?” he pressed, abandoning his knife and fork.

She shrugged, “Joan’s always been cautious of her feelings. She keeps asking if you talk about her at all. I suppose because she wants to know if you’re interested before she makes a move.”

“And what have you told her?” he asked, leaning forward, wide eyed at her words.

“That she should go with her instincts,” (Y/N) said quietly, “That she should stop doubting herself.”

John positively beamed, “Oh, now that’s brilliant.” He fell back in his chair, grinning, “Well done with the spy work.”

(Y/N) felt her stomach squirm again, pushing her food around. She couldn’t help but feel special that John sought her out for company – hopeful that it was because his human self took an interest in her unlike the Time Lord version. But he still couldn’t fathom a future with her, fake life or not.

It made her queasy.

“Are you alright?” he asked, digging into his food once more.

“Fine,” she said warily, “Just fine.”

~~~

It was later in the evening, an hour past the usual time for dinner, and (Y/N) was ascending the staircase towards the professor quarters.

There was a request from John Smith: a bowl of soup and crackers. There was a report of an upset stomach and slight fever, meaning he would take supper in his room.

He asked that she deliver it personally and it was almost hilarious when she told the lady’s maid that the assistant cook was to leave the kitchens.

It was foreign walking the halls of the school, but she felt a thrill of excitement at seeing John again. As always she couldn’t help but hope he wanted to see her because he finally realized he liked her.

And as always she was disappointed beyond belief.

She knocked on his door and nudged it open with her hip, tray of soup in hand. She was able to catch the last second of Nurse Redfern kissing John’s forehead.

Of course Joan was there. John was sick.

“Oh, goodness,” Joan gasped, “The kitchen maid.”

“(Y/N),” John said warmly, flushed at having been caught in an intimate moment. “You’ve brought my supper.”

(Y/N) bowed her head, refusing to look at him, and she hurried to place the tray on his side table. She could see Joan holding her stethoscope tersely from the corner of her eye.

In a small voice (Y/N) asked, “Might I inquire after the patient?”

“He’ll be alright,” Joan replied, “Just a tinge of the flu.”

John smiled, “I’ll be right as rain in the morning.” He spotted the way she refused to look at him. “Thank you, for answering my call.”

“Always,” she said instantly. “I’ll always answer.”

She stood there rather awkwardly for another minute, Joan clearing her throat to excuse the silence.

“That’ll be all,” the nurse said.

(Y/N) curtseyed, scrambling to get out, “Of course, sorry. If there’s anything else…”

“Thank you,” John said again, his voice quieter.

She didn’t dare look at him to see if his face matched the sweet sound of the thank you. She instead ran to the nearest stairwell and found refuge in the staff quarters.

She felt the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver in her pocket, a little reminder of the mission at hand. A small part of her chest began to hurt as she clutched the short piece of metal. It grounded her with thoughts of distant planets and endangered people. Of quick breaths stuck between a tight space.

It was easy to fend off her affections when the Doctor was too busy to look on anyone else. But with the steady pace of a human life, he was falling for another. And that realization pained her like nothing else.

She could only wish the three months went by quickly.

~~~

The Doctor stood outside the tardis, framed by the grey hills of 1913 England. The wind was whipping his coat about, sending his hair into a frenzy.

It was so him, it was making her sigh with relief.

“Hello there,” (Y/N) said, climbing the hill, “Feeling more like yourself?”

“Yes, well…” he shook one of his legs, “The right foot still feels a bit like John Smith. But the rest of me is one hundred percent the Doctor.”

(Y/N) laughed, looking at him fondly, “You sound like yourself again.”

He returned the soft look, “Thank you – for taking care of me.”

She cleared her throat, “You’re welcome.” But there was another unspoken question on the tip of her tongue. She didn’t want to sound too curious but she whispered, “How was Joan?”

“Fine,” he answered immediately, “She’ll be alright.”

“Right,” (Y/N) said, “I’m sure it couldn’t have been easy to… to say goodbye. You were so fond of each other.”

“John was,” the Doctor said, “And he is a part of me. So by proxy I suppose I am somewhat fond of her.”

(Y/N) nodded to herself, taking a step towards the tardis door, but the Doctor blocked her way.

“But a life with her isn’t possible,” he said softly. “It’s not a life I want.” He so desperately wanted her to look up at him. The way she avoided his gaze was sending that familiar ache through his chest.

He hadn’t realized that his human self would pursue another woman. He could imagine how difficult that must’ve been for her to witness – encourage even.

“That was a fake life, (Y/N),” he urged her to hear his words, “The life I have now, with you, is what I want.”

She tilted her head up towards him. “That’s kind of you to say, Doctor, but you don’t have…”

“No, you’re not hearing me,” he said, taking her hand. “I love my life because of you. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You are who I’m fond of. You are who I trust. It’s always been you, (Y/N). Long before this adventure.”

She still had disbelief in her eyes but a smile was growing on her face, “Really?”

He laughed, “Quite a pair, aren’t we?”

“I adore it,” she laughed along, “All of it.” She clutched at his hand, “I love you too.”

“Now,” he kissed her knuckles, “I don’t believe I said love.”

“Yeah you did,” she mused, leaning into him, craning her neck to reach.

He eyed her lips, speaking in that quick, eccentric way, “Yeah, well… let me say it with less words then.” And he kissed her against the tardis.

~~~

Masterlist

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[glade-constellation]

I know I’m getting overly obsessed with a character when I pull out the physical paper and pencil.

So far during the rewatch of TSAMS, I’ve been typing all my notes in Discord. Tonight, though, something was urging me to physically write stuff down. Anything not related to Eclipse was still typed, but Eclipse has officially gotten a spot in our notebook for character analysis.

Like, fun fact, Killcode called Eclipse his child before he did Bloodmoon. Completely unprompted as well. He only called Bloodmoon his child as a bribe to get them on his side. Even threatened Bloodmoon if they ever decided to attack his “son”. Eclipse was obviously Killcode’s favorite before something happened to change it to Bloodmoon. Especially since Killcode didn’t see Bloodmoon as his actual child when they first teamed up. They were just a means to getting Eclipse.

There’s also a moment in a previous episode where Eclipse is acting as Sun to get Moon angry, and says something along the lines of “you’re just like Eclipse”. While it was definitely a poke at Moon, I wonder how much Eclipse actually believes that statement. Moon/Killcode says the line, “I’m a useless hunk of garbage scrapped virus that you had to pry out of your head, in order to ‘not feel so much pain’.” The statement was directed at who he thought was Sun at the time, but sounds an awful lot like how Eclipse felt about Moon. With how Eclipse has canonically been shown to have guilt over his actions, I feel Eclipse internalizes that statement. He subconsciously views himself as useless and a nuisance. Due to that, he acts like he does so he can’t be disappointed if when people don’t like him. He knows it’s wrong, which explains the guilt, but he only sees himself as a bad guy. So why try to be anything different?

Eclipse is constantly being rotated in my brain under a microscope. I need to understand him.

[xeno828]

Okay, I'm an idiot!!! (Trollhunters Ending Revelation)

So, someone pointed this out to me recently and I just want to cry!! HERE ME OUT.............the ending to Rise of the Titans is actually better than you think cus there were some details I think were meant to be more obvious than they came across.

FIRST - We're all peeved that going back in time erased everyone's memories and therefore relationships and character development. However, when they go back Tobey is suddenly able to climb the rope in gym class and Claire seems to be paying attention more to Jim than last time. Especially when he is giving his speech at the audition, having a rewatch made me realize as soon as he starts speaking she has a look of recognition, almost like she thinks she's heard this speech somewhere before. Not only that but Barbara and Stickler got along incredibly quickly for 2 people who had only just met. These imply they have some sort of subconscious memory of the last timeline, WHICH considering Nari said time is NOT linear makes sense, cus if it was liner everything would be exactly the same as the first time without these subtle changes. Also, Nari said the ninth configuration is the key, the amulet would only work after they figured this out, if that's the case maybe Nari knew the amulet would to some degree protect them from complete amnesia, they just need to be 'woken up' so to speak. (Also since Merlin and Nari will be alive again they might actually be able to help with this too, especially Nari, she's the demi-god that gave them this advice for goodness sake!!!)

SECOND - The new amulet is 'For the good of all' which does tie directly into going back in time to save EVERYONE.

THIRD - Jim went back in time using the new Akiridion amulet, that means HE STILL HAS IT!!!! The message of the entire movie with Jim is that he now doesn't need the original amulet to be the Trollhunter, he always has been and always will be. Thats why the original amulet chose Toby instead of Jim the second time, it knows Jim doesn't need it anymore and can continue fighting as he is, he will ALWAYS be the Trollhunter with or without it. Jim also knows if he sticks to the original time things will end up the same and his friends that had died will still die, he's urging Toby to be the new Trollhunter to protect him in the coming fights.

There were a couple more points and details but honestly it's 3am and my ADHD brain has forgotten the rest and lost the TikTok I watched 😅

Overall tbh I'm still not happy with the ending, BUT having these pointed out has given me a different less hostile viewpoint on it. I certainly think it's plausible that this was intended but didn't come across very clearly to audiences (myself very much included). Either way, however you wanna interpret it I'm sticking with this as cannon cus if fills me with a lot more hope for the ending than how I originally felt and I don't know about you but I like feeling happy! 🤣

[makedonsgriva]

I’ve been reading a lot of posts where people talked about watching Yuri On Ice for the first time back when it was airing in 2016 and it really feels so heartwarming and heartbreaking because can you imagine loving a series so much and being there for it from the start only for it to get cancelled.

I watched YOI for the first time back in mid or late 2019 (don’t remember very clearly), after a friend on tumblr urged me to watch it and it just altered my brain chemistry. I watched the whole thing in a day. And then I proceeded to re watch it very soon. I was obsessed. As a baby gay who was still struggling a lot with their sexuality, never comfortable with the labels, the pronouns, all the nuances and always thinking how do I fit myself into this Queer cardboard box with neat little labels, that show rocked my shit.

Viktor and Yuri didn’t need any labels. There was no grand coming out scene, no need to fight against the world for their love and no struggle with their inner self about wtf am I doing or am I right or wrong. They literally just skated and did their work but they fell in love side by side and it was so so beautiful for me.

A part of me was also dismayed because the kiss scene was censored. The touches, the love they showed was subtle. I felt that this meant many could brush them off as friends. That maybe, just maybe, the love wasn’t as strong and maybe I was just deluding myself. It was only after I rewatched it yesterday after years, I realized how wrong I was to think that. And that in turn helped me realize the progress I’d made in my journey to accept my own queerness. Love is not about grand romantic gestures. It’s about being there for each other and lifting each other up and not caring about how the world perceives you. Especially so in queer relationships. It doesn’t matter how some people might perceive Viktor and Yuri as old pals, we know that they are in love.

They don’t have to be incredibly loud. That love is abundantly clear when Yuri asks Viktor to coach him till he retires and Viktor oh so sweetly replies that he hopes Yuri never retires. It’s clear when Yuri changes a jump in the China Cup to show his love for Viktor. It’s clear when Viktor decides to be with Yuri every step of the way from his journey from the rock bottom to the Runner Up of the Grand Prix Final.

We call everything on this ice love and oh YOI you’ll forever be iconic for giving us queers so much love.

[cookiescribble]

You're Safe Here With Me (Spencer Reid x Fem!reader)

A/N: hi there! this is the first time I'm publicly sharing fic i wrote and I'm really nervous about it, please be nice 😅

I was rewatching season 8 and wanted to write something about comforting Spencer after Maeve died. Hope you enjoy! <3

-Mod Angel

~~~

I couldn’t get his sad face out of my head. 

What he was going through… it was horrible. I couldn’t even imagine what kind of thoughts were going through his mind right now. 

I fidgeted as I walked up the stairs of his apartment building. I wasn’t sure if he’d want to see me, but I had to try. 

When I came to his door, I took a deep breath before knocking. 

No answer. 

I knocked again. “Spence?” I asked softly. “Are you there?”

Still no answer. I thought I heard movement in the apartment, so I figured I’d try my luck. “… Can I come in?”

There was a little pause of hesitation before I heard the door unlock. It didn’t open, it just unlocked. I heard more movement that sounded like it was getting farther away. 

I took that as a signal and turned the knob, slowly opening the door. “Spence…?” I asked again, walking in and closing the door behind me. He didn’t answer, but I heard movement on the couch.

I walked toward the couch, putting my hands on top of it as I looked to see him curled up and looking at the floor. He wore paisley pajamas and a robe. It was weird to see him so dressed down.

“Hey…” I spoke softly, trying to make my voice as comforting as possible. He stirred a bit, but he didn’t look at me. 

I sighed and moved to the front of the couch, crouching down so I was level with him. Finally, he looked up at me with those big, sad eyes of his. I could tell he had been crying. 

“… is it okay if I sit down?” I asked after a moment. 

He slowly nodded and sat up slightly so there was room for me to sit by his feet. I slowly lowered myself onto the couch, and he sat up a bit more to look at me, hugging his knees to his chest.

I gave him a sad look back. “Everyone is worried about you” I said softly, not wanting to push him, but needing him to know we all care about him. “Obviously no one expects you to be okay… but we need you to know we’re here for you if you need help.”

He closed his eyes and nodded slowly. “Thank you…” he spoke for the first time since I got here, his voice deep and quiet. 

I just nodded at him. “Of course. I’m glad you let me in here. I know you must not want to see anyone right now, so… thank you for letting me in.”

He nodded again, hugging his legs closer to his chest. “I know you just want to help.” His voice was still low, barely above a whisper. He sounded a little shaky. 

 I looked at him sympathetically. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked softly. 

He closed his eyes for a moment, as if thinking it over. He was obviously fighting the urge to keep everything inside. “Do you ever feel like… like the universe is working against you?”

I gave him another sad look. “Spence…”

He took a deep breath before continuing. “My whole life, I’ve felt like I could never have what everyone else has. A normal life. I kept busy with school and work and tried not to think about it, but I… I craved that little bit of normalcy. Someone to spend my days with. Someone who could…” He swallowed a bit. “Someone who could show me the few things I didn’t know… and now…” A few tears started to fall from his eyes. “Now I know I’ll never have that.”

I moved closer to him without thinking, my hands moving to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “Hey, don’t say that… this wasn’t your only opportunity. Someday, someone’s going to show you what it’s like to be loved like that.”

His eyes caught mine when I touched his face. I didn’t even realize I had done it; my body had moved on its own. 

I started to pull my hand away. “I’m sorry…” I started, lifting my hand off his face. But then his hands found mine and moved it so I was cupping his cheek again. He closed his eyes and kept his hands on mine, holding my hand to his face. 

I moved a little closer, my other hand moving to stroke his hair. “It’s okay…” I spoke quietly, trying to soothe him. I didn’t think he’d want to be touched like this. It made my heart ache to see him so broken like this. 

Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him and resting his head on my shoulder. After a moment of shock, I wrapped my arms around him, rubbing soothing circles on his back and resting my chin on top of his head. 

We sat there like that for a few moments, neither of us saying anything, just sitting in silence as I comforted him as much as he needed. 

After a moment, he pulled away, rubbing his eyes. He took a deep breath to try to calm himself down. “Sorry…” he whispered. 

I shook my head. “No need to apologize. I’m here to be whatever you need, Spencer. And if what you need is a shoulder to cry on, I’m glad to be that for you.”

He nodded slowly, looking at me again with those big eyes of his. He hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Did you… really mean that?”

I gave him a slightly puzzled look. “Did I mean that I’m here for you?”

He shook his head. “Did you mean it… when you said someone’s going to show me what it’s like to be loved?” His eyes looked almost pleading when he asked this. 

I reached up to touch his cheek again. “Of course I mean it. There’s… there’s so much to love about you. It’s only a matter of time before someone realizes how special you are and… and they know that you’re someone they should never let go…” I looked into his eyes intensely as I spoke, the words just flowing out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. 

He looked at me so sweetly, his gaze softening as he listened to me. “You… you really think that about me?”

“I…” I started, moving my hand away from his face. I knew this wasn’t what he needed right now. All the grief was still so fresh; I didn’t need my own feelings making him feel complicated. I didn’t want to take advantage of him when he was being so vulnerable with me. “I didn’t mean… I’m sorry. You don’t… you don’t need me saying these things to you right now…”

He shook his head, his gaze more intense. “I do.” he said, his voice a little louder, a little more sure now. He took a deep breath and I saw his eyes move down to my lips for a moment. 

I met his eyes, my breath quickening as I felt the moment between us changing. “I… I don’t need to… to make you feel like you need to rush into something… your emotions are still fresh, I shouldn’t be interfering with them.”

He moved a little closer to me. “I… I need you.” His voice was a whisper, just loud enough for me to hear. “And I… I need you to tell me… to show me that I’m not going to be alone for the rest of my life.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to let my better judgment take over. But he looked so hurt. It was just something to comfort him… it was something he needed. 

I opened my eyes and nodded, leaning in a little. “You’re not going to be alone, Spence. We’re… I’m here to let you know that.” 

His breath quickened as he leaned in closer. We inched closer, closer, until our mouths finally found each other. I tried to absorb all his sadness and grief and pain, tried to fill him with the love and comfort and kindness that he deserved. I made the kiss last so he could understand that everything was going to be okay. Kiss it, make it better, the old saying goes. 

After a few moments, we pulled away, his eyes opening and finding mine. He looked… a little better. He looked much more calm, as if those few moments were all he needed. At least for now. I knew I couldn’t just take all his sadness away forever like that. But it warmed my heart that it seemed to help. 

He looked at me with those big, pleading eyes of his. “Can you… stay for a while?”

I nodded and smiled a bit, my hand stroking his hair gently. “Of course. I’ll stay for as long as you need.”

. . .

I started spending a lot of time at Spencer’s apartment. We spent the time doing whatever we could think of: watching tv, playing board games, just talking… whatever he needed to keep his mind busy. I was always there when he needed company. I was there so often that he started keeping my favorite foods in his kitchen, probably as a peace offering when he felt bad I was spending so much time there. I tried to tell him I really don’t mind, but he insisted it wasn’t a problem. 

When words weren’t enough to comfort him, we’d go back to that kiss. But we didn’t spend all our time kissing, and it was never anything more than that. It was just when he needed a little more reassurance, a little extra affection. 

He started asking me to stay the night, explaining that everything felt worse when he was alone in bed. I knew he didn’t mean it in any way that wasn’t innocent. He had only the most pure intentions. 

The first night, he let me borrow some of his clothes because he didn’t want me to leave to get my own pajamas. He let me go to the bathroom to change, letting me have my privacy. Not overstepping anything. 

I climbed into bed with him, holding him like he needed me to. I’d do anything to take his sadness away. He knew that, but he never did anything that wasn’t well-intentioned. I knew he wouldn’t take advantage of my kindness the same way he knew I wouldn’t take advantage of his vulnerability. 

After that night, I always brought my pajamas when I came to visit him. Our nights usually ended with me holding him until we both fell asleep. He had a lot of nightmares, which was understandable. He’d wake up crying in the middle of the night and I’d soothe him back to sleep. Shh, shh, it’s alright. I’m here. 

When he fully woke up in the morning, he would always apologize that he was waking me in the middle of the night. I told him I really didn’t mind. I told him that the last time I went through a breakup, I had nightmares for a long time, and I didn’t go through something half as traumatic as him. He kept apologizing anyway, but he didn’t want me to leave, so he didn’t push too much. He apologized, but he still asked me to stay. And I always did. 

Eventually, he returned to work, and we stayed professional, but it was obvious something had changed between us. He’d always sit next to me, he’d bring me my coffee in the morning… Everyone must have noticed a change, but they didn’t say anything. 

Sometimes, if we were out on a case and he started feeling sad, he would come into my hotel room at night. I’d hold him until he started to feel better, and he would return to his own room to go to sleep. He never stayed in my room overnight; we both knew we’d have to explain everything to the team if they noticed we were spending the night together. And neither of us wanted to explain it. I don’t know if either of us could explain it. We just understood each other. Everyone else would twist it and make it something it wasn’t. 

Until one day, it was.

. . .

“I was thinking today we could actually go out somewhere.”

Spencer had called me on my cell phone, which was pretty rare considering his aversion to technology. Usually I just assumed I would come over to his apartment. He even gave me a key so I didn’t have to knock anymore.

“You want to go somewhere?” I asked. This was… new. “Like where?”

He cleared his throat. He seemed a little nervous. “I was thinking we could go out to dinner.”

I paused for a moment. I wasn’t sure if he meant it like… well, I was too afraid to ask what he meant by that. “Yeah, sure, we can do that,” I answered, trying to hide my own nervousness. “Where do you want to go? I can meet you there-“

“I was thinking I could pick you up,” he interrupted. I furrowed my brows. He didn’t usually like to drive. 

But, again, I was too afraid to question him. “… Okay. Yeah. Thanks. I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

He let out a breath that he seemed to be holding the whole time he was waiting for me to answer. “Good. I’ll be there in a bit.” We said our goodbyes before hanging up. 

I took a deep breath and looked in my closet, wondering what I should wear. Usually I just threw on sweats when I came to his apartment because I knew I’d eventually be changing into pajamas anyway. 

Maybe a dress would be too much. Maybe he didn’t mean it in that way. I thought about his nervous voice, and how that nervousness turned to eagerness when I said yes. Did he… want this to be a date? His first date?

I decided on a plain cotton maxi tank dress. It was casual enough that it could pass off as a normal outfit. If this wasn’t what I thought, and he asked why I was dressed like this, I could just say I’m behind on laundry. He’d believe that, considering I don’t spend a lot of time in my own apartment anymore.

I put on a little makeup, just something subtle, before putting on the dress. I put my hair up in a bun and slipped into some flats to match the dress. Just as I was finished getting ready, I heard a knock at the door. 

I put my phone, wallet, and keys into a purse before throwing it over my shoulder and opening the door. 

Spencer seemed a little surprised, his eyes looking me up and down when he saw me in a dress. He was dressed basically exactly like he does at work: a button up, vest, dress pants, converse. He was wearing a jacket instead of a cardigan today. 

I blushed a little when I saw him looking at me so intensely. I broke the silence by shutting the door behind me, which seemed to snap him out of whatever thoughts he was having. “So…” I started. “Where are we going?”

He smiled down at me. I loved it when he smiled. I didn’t see him smile a whole lot since a lot of my time with him was when I was comforting him, but when he did smile it made my heart melt. 

He took my arm in his, which surprised me a little. “There’s a restaurant I’ve been meaning to check out. I figured we could try it together.” He started to lead me to his car. 

I smiled as we walked arm in arm. I was struggling a bit to keep up and I wished I had worn heels instead of flats. I always forgot just how tall he was. 

He opened the passenger side door for me, and I smiled at him as I sat down and he closed the door behind me, careful that my foot or my dress wouldn’t get caught in the door. He walked around to the driver’s side and started the car. 

We drove in silence for a few minutes. He was fidgeting a lot. I figured I needed to ask him what this was before we got there. I needed to know what he expected from me so I could give him exactly what he needed. 

“So…” I started. “Are you going to tell me what you’re thinking right now?”

He cleared his throat. “I’m thinking we’re going to dinner.” 

I sighed. I didn’t want to have to pry this out of him, but it looked like I was going to. “Spence. You hate a change in routine. And you hate trying new things. What’s up?”

He stirred in his seat a little bit. He let out a little sigh. “I…” he didn’t finish his thought. 

I looked at him, trying to catch his eye in the rearview mirror. “Is this… supposed to be a date?” My tone was soft to let him know it was alright. 

He tensed a little bit but nodded. 

“And you weren’t going to tell me that you wanted it to be a date?”

He hesitated a moment. “I was afraid you’d say no.” 

I gave him a soft look. “But you know it wouldn’t be a date if you didn’t tell me that it was supposed to be a date, right?”

He opened his mouth and closed it again before speaking. “I… didn’t really think that far,” he admitted.  

He pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. He went to get out of the car but I stopped him by putting my hand on his arm. “Are you sure about this?” I asked. 

He gave me a look that was almost… scared. “Do you not want this? I’m sorry if I-“

“That’s not my issue” I cut him off. “I just… I want to make sure you’re ready for this.” Ready for us to change, I thought. But I didn’t say that out loud. 

He nodded determinedly, giving me an intense look. “I… I really love spending time with you, you know? And I really want something more between us.” He looked a little shy, but he spoke definitively. His voice was softer when he added, “you’re the only person I would even consider being with.”

I gave him a soft smile when he said that. “Really? Are you sure it’s not just because I helped you through something traumatic?” 

He took a deep breath before speaking again. “It’s become so much more than that. I can’t imagine not spending all my time with you. And… you make me feel so safe. I know I can count on you. I know you’d never hurt me.”

I just nodded at him. It was true. I would never, ever hurt him. And I felt the same way, I couldn’t imagine spending any less time with him. I always looked forward to coming over and just enjoying his company. 

I looked at him seriously. “This means things are going to change between us. Are you sure you want that?”

He shook his head as if dismissing my words. “That’s the thing, I feel like nothing is really going to change. We already spend so much time together, and we sleep in the same bed most of the time, and…” he looked away for a moment before continuing, speaking a little softer. “Every time we kiss, I get these butterflies. I’ve never felt that way before. Not since…” he trailed off, but he didn’t need to finish his sentence. I knew exactly what he was talking about. “And I never thought I would get a chance to have that feeling from something physical. The things between us… are actually tangible. I can reach out and touch you.” As if to prove his point, he placed a hand on my face. 

When he looked at me so intensely like that, it almost sent a shiver down my spine. I kept quiet so he would keep talking. My heart was swelling with every word he said, and I didn’t want him to stop. 

“So. If things changing between us just means that we go a little further, and we actually get to explore these feelings we have… then yes. I’m ready for things to change between us.” He reached for me and pulled me into a hug. 

I rested my head on his shoulder. “Oh, Spence… I’m so glad you trust me like this.” I pulled away to look into his eyes. “I’m gonna make sure everything is special. All of your firsts… I want to make sure I meet all of your expectations.” I smiled and gestured toward the restaurant. “Starting with your first date.”

He smiled back at me and took my hand in his. “I know you will. You already make me feel so loved; I know you’ll take good care of me.”

I nodded, squeezing his hand a bit. “Are you ready?” 

He nodded back as he started to get out of the car. “I’m so ready.”

. . .

Dinner went well. Everything between us always felt so easy, and this was no different. It definitely wasn’t a typical first date, considering how close we already were. But that just made it better. He was so relaxed after the initial nervousness of knowing this was his first date wore off. It felt so natural. 

When we finished up, he led me back to his car, opening my door for me again like such a gentleman. 

When he started the car, he turned to me. “I don’t really know the protocol for a first date… I know this isn’t a typical situation; would it be inappropriate for you to come back to my apartment?”

I smiled. “Usually, yes. But I figured I was going to spend some time there anyway. Should we go back to my apartment first so I can grab a change of clothes?”

He bit his lip. “You still want to spend the night?”

I grabbed his hand and stroked it with my thumb reassuringly. “I know things are changing now, but that doesn’t mean expectations need to change. Nothing is different tonight. We’re not gonna do anything different for now.” I reached up to cup his cheek. “We’re gonna take things slow. This won’t be any different than spending the night together as friends.”

He seemed to relax a little at that. He nodded and reversed the car, heading toward my apartment. 

I took a few minutes to take my makeup off and change into something more casual. I traded my purse for my usual bag and shoved my pajamas in it. Maybe something changed formally between us, but he was right. Nothing was really any different. We’d hang out like we always do. It was so natural. 

I climbed back in his car, and he smiled when he saw me dressed down again, like he had gotten used to seeing me. We headed back to his apartment and watched some tv like we always did. But now, we held each other a little closer. And I knew it wasn’t because he was sad. It was because he wanted to be close with me. 

We stayed like that until we both felt tired, and we headed to bed like we’d gotten used to at this point. 

I came out of the bathroom after changing into my pajamas. Spencer looked at me and smiled, opening his arms for me. I liked this excitement so much more than when I was here to just stop him from crying. 

I climbed into bed, letting his arms wrap around me as I rested my head on his chest. Everything felt so right. He stroked my hair as he moved the covers over us. After a minute, he turned to look at me, and I propped myself up on my elbow to look back at him. 

He spoke softly. “I know this is probably fast for just a first date, but… I have to say something. I’ve been thinking it for so long now and I need to tell you.”

My heart raced a bit as I anticipated what he was about to say. I was really ready for him to say it. 

He took a deep breath, cupping my cheek and looking into my eyes. “… I love you.”

My heart swelled and I smiled at him. “I love you too.”

Both of us were smiling brightly as we settled in like we usually did. Our nightly routine was staying the same, but it was so much sweeter now. I was really excited to see where this was going to take us.

[brainrotcharacters]

COD boys x Falcon!Reader

I was rewatching mcu stuff so guess what.

tags: situationship because I like my men emotionally inept, Redwing, gender neutral reader, Ghost x reader, Alejandro x reader, Soap x reader, Gaz x reader,

Ghost

the respect he has for your skills are unsaid, and more powerful for it

if the current mission requires aerial forces, he'll have less worry on his mind knowing you're up there too

although he does acknowledge the concerns of his men, he always says “Falcon is up there” as if that’s an answer (it is to him)

one time, you were making hardware changes on Redwing

Ghost arrived and sat down nearby, handing you tools and bits that you needed

you give him a critical, teasing glance, "How do you know which ones I need?"

"I learn." was all he said

"There's not exactly a lecture room at base to discuss my tech."

"I learn from watching you."

you stare at him for a second longer, toes curling inside your boots, and then accept the piece he handed you "Does that mean you are interested?"

at that, Ghost moved to leave "I came here for some peace and quiet, but if you insist..."

"Hey, come on Ghost. I'm just messing with you. Sit down."

he chuckled as he returned to his seat

you ignored the way your gut dropped thinking of your poor chances at something with him

you cleared your throat "Soap being annoying again?"

"What's new?" he sighed, exhausted and fond at the same time

Alejandro

he is responsible for your other title "Anghel de la Guardia"

at first, he wanted to have a turn at the wings

mainly to find new ways to put his life at risk smh Alejandro, meaning you tease him by constantly refusing

one time, your equipment was compromised and as Colonel, he had to make snap decisions to help you land as safely as possible

as soon as your harnesses from the flickering, sparking technology were removed, Alejandro practically ripped it away across the floor to check your safety

the nearly-childish awe he felt for it was reduced to nothing if it meant he would lose you

Rudy had the equipment moved, then urged everyone else to take inventory and leave the colonel to you

Alejandro joined you on the floor, one hand on the side of your neck, and another hand to your hip, demanding "are you okay?"

"I'm okay," you forced yourself to ignore how warm his touch felt through your suit. "Relax, Colonel. I survived."

"Barely!" he snarled through his teeth. He was trembling. "I thought we agreed not to be stupid without each other, ah?"

Alejandro didn't have you grounded, but also kept a closer eye when you returned to the air

"Careful. You're beginning to act like an overprotective lover." 

"You need someone like that." 

"Are you offering?" 

"Are you going to say yes?" 

any traction made on the unnamed thing between you and Alejandro was interrupted by the next mission, and it went to the back of your minds once again

Soap

everyone else, from Gaz to the medics to the other lads at base have mentioned how Soap doesn't shut up about the Falcon and their barrel rolls and close shaves and smooth banking...

he is in awe of your flight training and damn it he'll make everyone appreciate it

with you, he manages to keep things more or less professional, and never asks about your specialty unless it directly influenced the current objective of the team

he's always your first responder on comms and the last person to check on you after a successful mission

Johnny is so endearing to the point that you offered a test run with him, but he politely declines, teasing "you look prettier up there than I ever could"

during one mission, Soap talked his way into the bad end of several guns outdoors

he recognized you hovering behind their heads and began to boast "Your time is up. 141 is here."

naturally, his hostage takers looked left and right, deciding Soap was a delusional liar

"Look up."

You've gotten close enough to throw two good kicks, grabbing Soap by the arm as your wings reformed into a shield against the gunfire

"My hero." Soap grinned

"You're good at this damsel thing." you quip back. "Injuries? Guns?"

"No injuries. One handgun." the bullets began to grow less and less

"You'll survive." when they began to reload, your shield returned to its default form, and Soap rushed around you to start a counterattack

Gaz

considering Gaz's rather complicated relationship with helicopter crashes, things changed a bit when you were added to the team

You easily developed a habit of swooping in to save him that it reached a point where you coded a program specifically for Gaz's accidents he jokes that it's because he's your favorite

Gaz would say that he's become more careful with himself, but the rest of the team vehemently argue that he's gone more reckless than usual

The madman tossed himself over the tumbling, screeching body of the chopper and into the air before allowing you time to lock in on his location

tiny, reliable drones immobilized the propellers of the helicopter as you tackled Gaz

"You're an absolute jerk!" you laugh over the comms, your thrusters increasing in power to reach him faster. "Redwing, propellers!"

The usual, relieved "Falcon's got him" is heard over the comms

Gaz seems like the type to be genuinely interested in the details of a technology such as this, and has gone on for hours bouncing ideas back and forth with you

It was this interest and curiosity that positively influenced Gaz's perspective and affections for you

plus, he's the type to ask nicely to help in a test flight... and make those wings look good

[cynthia39100]

Merlin rewatch -- S1E2: Valiant

Other Arthur scenes I like

Arthur’s incredulous look when Merlin shoves the snake head on his table. (cute)

(Btw, I felt like Arthur was reluctant to accept the accusation towards Valiant at first not just because the story sounded fake. I think he was intrigued but he tried to resist the urge to accept the accusation because he knew he hated Valiant and he couldn't let it affect his judgement. Also he knew how he would look if he did it in public so he needed to be 100% sure.)

When Arthur shouted " Get out of my sight." at Merlin. Always appreciate an actor who can yell properly with power and still keep their voice stable and pronunciation proper.

Beautiful long shots of Arthur's back. In both shots, the camera lingered for a long time, and I really liked it! Nicely showing Arthur's loneliness and his heavy burden.

Also quite like the scene where Arthur went to see the empty field, to prepare his state of mind. remind himself what he was fighting for.

<- Prev [other episodes]

[b4b3tte]

꒰ ⊹ ˚ . Summary — here are some jealousy head canons of Rowan laslow part one!!

Contains of — Jealousy,Slight possessiveness,Deadpan expressions, Fluff,SFW moments, Kisses, Hugs, Comforting, Pet names !!

Babette’s note — I’m so sorry I haven’t released any material, I honestly haven’t found anything interesting to write about but I’ve rewatched Wednesday and noticed i haven’t seen a lot of Rowan fanfics so I decided to write about him!! I hope the new year is going great and thank you for 120 followers!! Request box is open!!!

— There are little to no any problems with you and your relationship with Rowan, but the little problems are him being slightly too jealous.

— him being a outcast in a school full of them, there are a little bit( a-lot ) of insecurities that come with it, so he does get upset having you spend extra time with his Peers, letting his thoughts of you leaving him fill his mind up.

— gets so mad and stressed out, that he uses his inhaler 24/7

— if you are expressing your attention towards Xavier Rowan will give him the deadpan look for the whole week

— he can be very two faced, let’s say you feel bad that you made Rowan feel insecure that you hug and kiss his neck, while he hugs you back he is giving whoever is behind you a nasty deadpan stare letting them know they fucked up

— Rowan is still amazed at how someone gorgeous and like able like you ended up with someone like him. So at first he felt like he shouldn’t be able to touch you, but after you comforted him and such he loves having his hands on you, just basically engaging physical contact

— but He still gets scared having physical contact with you in public, he isn’t embarrassed or ashamed of you more like he is scared you are embarrassed or ashamed of him, so he tries to minimize that affection by just forehead kisses and hand holding

— But when he gets jealous or mad at someone for stealing your attention all of those negative thoughts leave his mind and shows proudly that your his

— by moving you closer to him by pulling your waist next to him, whispers in you ear, kisses on your lips, his hand going up and down your thigh, hand on your lower back leading towards your ass ( 🫢 )

— Having the love of his life spend time with people he doesn’t like hurts him inside which obviously causes a sour sarcastic change in his mood so this can go both ways.

— A.) he leaves you alone with whoever you are hanging out with, locking himself in his room crying, letting his negative thoughts take over.

— B.) he purposely makes his sour mood noticeable to you and waits for you to stop what your doing and focus on him giving him the attention he so desperately needs from you

( I personally think A is more Rowan but u can pick<3 ) 

A :

— When he does cry, it is bad, pure sobs, using his inhaler, resisting the urge to break his glasses,face in pillow with tears and snot all over, he doesn’t take jealousy too well which is pretty clear.

— When you first confessed it took awhile for him to be convinced that you didn’t see him as an outcast

— But when he sees you hanging out with other people or act more interested in them he will think you finally saw him as the outcast he is

— even though it does hurt him, the making up part is the great part about it. Since this probably is a constant cycle he will slightly look forward to how you will make it up to him

—  whether or not it’s by cuddles, constant praises and cute nose kisses or something more deeper if you catch my drift;)

— if you do decide to go through the wholesome route, forehead and nose kisses are the best and comforting for him he absolutely adores

— trust me he enjoys having his lips engage with yours but having forehead and nose kisses makes him feel more comforted and safe

End of A.

— For pet names he never really thought about ones he specifically liked, out of the names you’ll call him he will pick favorites out of them

— and it’s most likely you’d figure out the ones he enjoys based on his flustered shy smile reactions.

B :

— we all know Rowan can be secretly bitchy and pissed off and won’t have a difficult time showing it, he gets pissed off about a lot of things in his life but when it comes towards you giving other’s your attention it gives him more of a good reasons to show that annoyance and anger.

— I’m sure Rowan knows you don’t mean to do these things intentionally but it still gets under his skin and has to let you know that he is upset but rather not directly tell you but tell you by his annoyed actions

— Rowan would most definitely give you the silent treatment…if he had the heart too, he honestly loves you too much for his own good that he just can’t ignore you

— just expect bland and deadpan answers instead of his usual shy awkward smiley answers

— surprisingly it’s a big difference in his behavior so it doesn’t take you that long to notice his sudden sour mood

— you’d have to ask him what’s wrong so many times but knowing how stubborn he can be during that time you will just get a lot of “nothing is wrong “ or “ I am fine I don’t know what you are talking about “ or “ I just have a headache nothing big “

— he will be rude towards the person or people you were giving your attention too, and of course you picked up on that which made you connect the dots that he was jealous

— simply all you need to do is wait for his glasses to slightly drop down to his nose and push them back up and hug him and apologize

— you guys will talk about how he felt, some comforting words and everything is good!

End of B

— sometimes he can be possessive in general with no trigger needed, you can suggest a date in weathervane cafe and he will frown and try to give you every excuse in the book not to go.

— Reason for that he rather have you and him cuddling on his bed talking about each others day than go out and have everybody give you stares, the stares only he should be able to give you.

— He always found the term baby gross and off putting since Xavier used it the most towards his past girlfriends but when it came out of your mouth and having it directed to him it felt different so it’s a high nickname up on the list.

— he is most definitely a switch but when you call him sweetheart it unlocks more of his submissive side, since the name sweetheart is rather a feminine ish name he gets super shy when you refer him as that in public

— so during a moment of comfort he adores baby and sweetheart but most importantly Rowan. You using his real name during times like this shows that you are being sincere and actually care so he really appreciates that

Thank you so much for reading it means a lot! I would appreciate likes and comments because it shows me that I did a good job in my writing or I need some improvements so any show of love or feedback is amazing so tysm!!

Just remember, One thing you need to realize is that everything ends up working out. Sometimes even better than you can imagine.Remember this when you're in a hard place or feel like you're challenged the most.Believe in where you're heading. I love you 🤍⭐️!