#and felt entitled to his love to since i was being such a great friend to him

[merrygomp3]

just had a free therapy session in my dream with an old middle school classmate (not even a friend) about a friendship that went from 0 to 100 to -100000 last last year. it was so intense and felt so real that it woke me up earlier than expected

[backtothefanfiction]

Crushed | Peter x Reader x Harry imagine

Summary: Your boyfriend sometimes has anger problems, but this is the first time he’s ever taken it out on you. Thank the lord his best friend was there to step in.

Warnings: angst, jealousy, unintentionally angry abusive boyfriend (it’s Harry’s illness), protective friend, needle, strangling, a little bit of infidelity (it’s just one kiss)

Word Count: Maybe 1.5k-ish (wrote in app and can’t really check. Was supposed to be a quick on but…)

A/N: this is an apology story as my other longer stories still aren’t ready yet. I needed some angst and this idea just popped into my head, soooo, let’s go.

To say your boyfriend had a bit of a temper was an understatement. It was something he got from his father along with his rich kid entitlement. He wasn’t always like this. He was usually nice. He took great pride in having bagged you for a girlfriend and loved showing you off to people. However he wasn’t stupid. He knew how people looked at you when they thought he wasn’t looking.

Jealous. Your boyfriend was easily jealous. He’d catch guys looking and would be quick to remind them who you belonged to. An angry stare here, smashed glass and punch in the face there, but he’d never taken it out on you.

That was until his father died. Suddenly Harry had even more feelings than he knew how to deal with. Often multiple feelings at the same time. That and the fact he was dying. You weren’t supposed to know, but you’d overheard him talking to Peter about it. He’d been coming around a lot more since Norman had died. He was an old friend from when Harry was a kid. You thought it was good for him, he seemed a little more at ease despite the doom and gloom. You got on well with him too. He was kind and easy to talk to. He seemed to be the only guy Harry didn’t seem threatened by around you. That was until tonight.

You had all gone out for dinner. Harry had seemed off for the whole meal but you thought it was just because of his illness. Heck, maybe his anger was just another part of his illness. He was quiet and logical, all the way through the meal. He often looked between Peter and you as you spoke so easily to one another. You seemed to laugh at every single one of his jokes and Harry could have sworn he saw a particular warmth and sparkle to your eyes.

He was silent the whole cab ride home and kept shrugging you off whenever you asked him what the matter was, his fingers flexing over his knees. When Peter asked the same question he just ignored you both and looked out the window.

You had both said goodnight to Peter when you had gotten out of the car.

“You gonna be okay?” Peter quietly asked you as Harry began to make his way to the front door of the building.

“Yeah, of course.” You nodded. “Good night Peter.” You smiled before quickly following after your boyfriend.

Being in the elevator with Harry felt like being in a pressure cooker, the higher the elevator got to the penthouse, the more tight and constricting the air felt; until you reached the top and he seemingly began to explode.

You watched on as he made a beeline to his Fathers alcohol, knocking back shot of whisky after shot of whisky and shouting about Peter.

“I saw the way he looked at you…. And when he touched you….” He ranted jealously as he paced back and forth across the floor as you sat frozen on the sofa.

You watched as the veins in his neck began to bulge slowly turning a darker shade of green. He was beginning to scare you.

“Harry, maybe I should go home.” You tentatively said standing, grabbing your coat off the arm of the sofa where you had placed it and folding it over your arm.

It was like he fully remembered you were in the room. And not in a good way. His eyes were completely black as they locked onto you. “And you,” he snarled, “you like him back don’t you sweetheart. The way you giggle at his jokes and fix his clothes and-“

“Harry. Harry stop. You’re scaring me.” You tried to say as you stumbled backwards towards the door. You were trying to not make sudden movements, trying to keep your energy calm and placate him long enough to get out the door but it was no good. Harry was gone.

Your back hit a large pillar and he was on you in seconds, his hand around your throat as he began to squeeze. “Harry!” You tried to say but it was difficult with how tightly he was squeezing. You couldn’t breath, you began to make choking noises as your finger nails reached to claw at the back of his hand. “Harry.” Your voice was high pitched and raspy. “I don’t… please.”

There was a loud thud as the front door burst open, Peter rushing in and tackling Harry to the ground. You gasped as oxygen flooded your lungs and your legs gave way, your body collapsing into a heap on the floor. Tears pricked your eyes as your chest heaved, panicked coughs wracking your body. Your vision was patchy as you tried to watch Peter and Harry, wrestling on the ground.

“Harry! Harry!” Peter said as he pinned his friend to the floor. “Harry, look at me! This isn’t you! Stop it,” Harry just kept fighting though, his body writhing underneath Peter’s, but Peter didn’t budge.

“Get off me! I hate you! You’re fucking my girlfriend!”

“Harry!”

“Get off me!”

“Harry this isn’t you. I wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t do that. Harry!”

Harry’s wails were animal like.

You knew you had to do something to help. You remembered the medicine Harry was secretly keeping in his desk drawer. Your legs felt wobbly as you tried to stand, hobbling into his office in the next room. Your fingers were frantic as you opened the desk drawer and took out a vile and fresh needle. You rested your weight against the desk as you readied the shot.

“Peter. Here use this,” you said almost defeated as you made your way back into the other room.

You had no idea how Peter was able to hold down the still thrashing Harry and take the needle from you with such steady hands. Peter wasted no time in pushing the needle into one of the bulging veins in Harry’s neck, quickly administering the medicine that began to take immediate effect. Harry’s body went limp as he calmed, his eyes closing as if he was relishing in the relief. The veins in his neck seemed to settle and the green track marks began to recede.

Peter’s body collapsed to one side on the floor, removing his weight from Harry’s body. When it was evident Harry was out for the count and sleeping off his episode, the brown haired boy finally turned to you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, scrambling across the floor to where you too had collapsed, adrenaline beginning to dissipate.

You groaned slightly as you blinked away your tears and rubbed at the ghostly feeling of Harry’s fingers at your neck. “Ow.” You said hoarsely as Peter’s hands reached out and tilted your chin up and turned you in the light to get a better look at your neck.

“Yeah, that’s gonna leave a mark.” He said.

“I thought you went home.” You croaked.

“Don’t try and talk.” He said. “Come on.” He reached out for your hands and pulled you up off the floor, walking you towards the kitchen where he sat you on one of the stools. He grabbed you a glass of water and told you to take small sips while he put Harry to bed.

“Is he gonna be okay?” You asked when he came back into the room.

“I thought I told you not to try and talk.”

You simply shot him a look in response.

“He’s gonna be fine. Well, he’ll make it through the night anyway.” Implying that although Harry was alive now, Peter might just kill him himself tomorrow for what he had just done to you.

You couldn’t help but look at Peter differently then. He’d saved your life. Harry was about to strangle you to death and he’d saved your life. “Peter?”

He raised his eyebrows at you in a way that said ‘what did I tell you about trying to talk?’ But you ignored him.

“Thank you.” You said, settling for a whisper.

He gave you a small smile. “Come on. Let’s get you to a doctor and get that throat looked at.”

You quickly shook your head no, but instantly regretted it, wincing as your throat protested against the movement. “No Doctor. They’ll report it. I don’t want him getting in trouble.” You tried to say, but your voice became more strained as you tried to get the words out.

“Fine. Fine.” Peter said, raising his arms in front of you in a calming manor, trying to ease the rising panic in your eyes. “Okay. But I am taking you home. And I’m never leaving you on your own with him again.”

“Peter, what he said about-“

Peter shook his head cutting you off. “Not now.”

He wrapped his arm around you as he guided you back through the apartment. He grabbed your coat off of the floor and placed it over your shoulders, before he placed a protective hand to your back once more and lead you out the door.

******

When you got back to your parents apartment, Peter took you all the way up to the door. Your hand froze on the door handle, key halfway to the lock when you turned back to him with tears in your eyes. The reality of the night was finally sinking in. You worried at your lip before you asked, “Will you stay?”

“I uh,” he stammered, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, what would Harry say?”

“Peter please. I don’t care… I’m scared.” Your voice said vulnerably. “Please.”

His hand reached out to cup your cheek. His thumb smoothing away the tear that rolled down it. “I can’t. I wish I could but I can’t.”

“Because of Harry’s jealousy?”

“Because he’s right.”

His words stun you. They put a stop to your tears as curiosity forms inside you instead. You try to speak but he stops you.

“He’s right to be jealous.”

“Why?” Your voice is a barely audible whisper.

“Because I’m falling for you.”

You’re not sure why you do it. Maybe it’s the shock of everything. Maybe it’s because he saved your life and you feel like you owe him. Maybe it’s because you really did have feelings for him too. But you lean forward and kiss him. It’s short and sweet. Delicate.

His hand hovers at the side of your face. You know he wants more. And if it wasn’t for Harry, if it wasn’t for everything that had just happened he’d take more. But he fights it. And so do you.

You know you shouldn’t ask again, not after you just kissed him, but you are more scared to be alone right now than not say it. “Please stay. I promise I won’t do that again. Just, please don’t leave me on my own.”

He hasn’t got the heart to say no to you again. He simply gives a small nod, his hand indicating for you to open the door, a silent promise that he’d follow.

You both agreed he’d sleep on the cushioned bench under your window. You had gotten him a blanket and pillow before you crawled into bed. You both just stayed there in your positions across the room, staring at each other, you lying down, him just sat, his back leaning against the wall next to the window.

You didn’t know when you had eventually fallen asleep, but when you woke up, Peter was gone and the window had been left slightly open. Your neck felt stiff and all you wanted to do was roll over and forget everything had happened. Everything except for that kiss.

As your lips tingled and a fuzzy feeling settled into the pit of your stomach, you knew one thing for sure. Your boyfriend was a dick and you were definitely crushing on his best friend.

[harrysfolklore]

Yaaaas to the photographer blurb!!

here it is ! photographer!yn and harry’s first meeting <3 this is also my entry for @harry-on-broadway’s writing challenge !! the dialogue i picked is in bold 💖💖 hope you like this

PHOTOGRAPHER!YN INSTA BLURB

ask me anything | masterlist | likes and reblogs are appreciated ! | SUBSCRIBE TO MY PATREON

Life could take crazy turns sometimes.

And as YN arrived to the location where she was going to shoot the latest cover for Rolling Stone magazine, the only thing she could think about was how her life was about to change forever.

It wasn't just any magazine cover, it was Rolling Stone's first ever global cover, and the person on it was no other than the world's most wanted man, Harry Styles.

It was safe to say that she was very shocked when she got the email inviting her to be the person behind the camera for the occasion, and she was even more gobsmacked when she found out that Harry himself suggested that she was the ideal person to shoot his cover.

Turns out, Harry found out about her through his photographer and friend Anthony Pham, and ever since he saw her pictures he knew he needed to work with her.

And he didn't want to admit it yet, but he thought she was absolutely gorgeous.

Taking a deep breath and with her camera gear in hand, YN approached the group of people gathered in the location getting everything ready for the shoot, and she felt a bit of relief when she spotted Harry Lambert, someone who she knew and had worked with in the past.

"YN, you're here ! I was waiting for you." Lambert said as he bend down a little to give her a hug as a greeting, YN hugging him back and her nerves calming down a bit already.

"It's so good to see you again, Lambert. But I'm not late am I?" being late was one of YN's biggest pet peeves and the mention of Lambert waiting for her sent alarms to her brain.

"Oh no dear, you're not, I was just eager to show you the looks we picked for the shoot. Who's actually quite late is our boy Harry, which is rare for him." and before you could reply, a voice made both of you turn around.

"Come on Lamby, don't go around putting on a bad word for me." Harry said as he walked in, wearing comfortable clothes and with a cup of coffee in hand, his manager Jeffrey following behind.

"What can I say sue, the first impression is the one that matters." they joked around and YN coulnd't help but smile a bit, she could tell they were a great group of friends and not just coworkers.

However, YN's smile turned into a nervous expression when she noticed Harry approaching her.

"Hello, I'm Harry, It's so nice to finally meet you." YN thought it was quite endearing how he introduced himself by name even thought she was pretty sure everyone in the world knew it, and she allowed herself to stare at his eyes for a second before introducing herself.

"I'm YN, and It's really nice to meet you too, I was so eager to work with you." she said and a smile made its way to both of their faces. YN had worked with celebrities in the past and most of them were entitled, with a preppy attitude and overall rude for no reason, Harry however, gave her a warm and friendly vibe, he was someone down to earth and that was easy to tell.

"Harry! Time for clothes and makeup!" his manager called out for him and that was their cue to go their own ways, YN knew already this was going to be her best shooting.

A couple hours had passed and the shooting was going smoothly, they had moved to different locations and Harry had changed clothes multiple times.

YN found out that Harry was a great person to work with and he was easy to direct, on top of that he was really friendly and kept making conversation all the time.

Or more like, he kept teasing YN because according to him "she is really tiny and It's adorable how she carries her big cameras around", it was safe to say that YN's cheeks were constantly blushing.

"You know, I feel like I'm going to love this photoshoot so much to the point it will become my favorite." Harry said after a couple of flashes were snapped, a red and white jumpsuit whit a yellow cardigan adorning his body, he picked a flower that was laying around and decided to use it as a prob for the pictures.

"I mean, that would make me feel really accomplished" YN snapped a couple more pictures, she enjoyed capturing spontaneous moments when people in front of the camera where being their natural selves.

"You don't need my validation to feel proud of yourself though, you're an amazing photographer" he said as he posed of YN's camera, and she was glad the device was covering her face and he couldn't see her cheeks blushing once again.

"Thank you Harry, that's very nice of you" YN told him sincerely, and when she caught a glimpse of his eyes, she knew he had something on his mind that he was yet to tell her.

"You know, my current tour photographer needs to take a break to take care of some family stuff," he cautiously began, "And I'm going to need someone who can take his place, I know you did some tour photography before the pandemic, if you don't have any upcoming projects scheduled, I would be thrilled to have you on the road" and YN was completely taken back by the offer, not expecting to end the day with a new job opportunity, and a huge one.

Even though YN knew taking this opportunity would be life changing for her, she couldn't help but let intrusive thoughts cloud her head, "I mean, I'm really flattered for the offer, but I'm not sure if I'm the ideal person for the job," she hid behind her camera again, feeling slightly embarrassed all of the sudden.

"Of course you are, I wouldn't be offering you the job if I didn't think you were," he said and before the photographer could protest, he spoke again, "Besides, if you're not sure about all the traveling, we're doing residencies this time," YN could tell that he really wanted her to take the offer, and she knew she wanted too, but the little voice on his head was not on her side as usual.

"Look Harry, I'm really grateful for the offer and I know it'll be a great opportunity for me, but I need to meditate it a bit before I make a decision, okay?" and YN could see a small smile on his face caused by her response.

"Okay, but I'm not going down without a fight, just so you know!" he pointed the flower on his hand at her before, causing both to laugh before YN focused on photographing him again.

Another hour had passed and the photoshoot was successfully wrapped up, many crew members had said their goodbyes already and YN was putting away her camera equipment when Harry approached her again.

"So, have you made your mind up about the tour photographer position?" he told her with a mischievous expression, he wasn't lying with his previous statement about not going down without a fight, he had been mentioning the wonders about the job and persuading YN to take it at least every 15 minutes.

"You're really persistent, aren't you?" YN said as she put her backpack on her shoulder, a small smile on her own appearing on her face.

“I’ll take that as a compliment” and even thought YN completely missed the flirtatious tone on his voice, Harry definitely noticed how flustered she suddenly got.

"Look, I'll think about it," and that was enough for Harry to get giddy and excited already, "And I'll give you a reply by the end of the week, okay?" she said as they began to walk together towards where their cars were parked.

"That's wonderful, I can't wait to be tourmates with you, tiny."

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[wistfully-wisteria]

𝐒𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 (ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄᴇ) "ᴜɴᴅᴇʀꜱᴛᴏᴏᴅ?"

PROHERO AU [f][a]

SUMMARY: You knew what you were signing yourself up for when you chose the life of a pro hero–and you loved it. Or at least, you thought you did. But when you're called to make a sacrifice for Japan that you imagined part of the job, you begin realizing how much you love your life–and the people–outside of it, too.

BACKGROUND: You're Kirishima Eijiro's little sister, and hence, his best friend, Bakugo Katsuki, adopts a protective relationship with you. Despite being the eighth pro hero in Japan, you are relatively unknown to the public eye–including number one hero, Midoriya Izuku.

Main pairing(s): Midoriya Izuku, Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Word count: .8k

<masterlist> <next (pt. 1)>

WARNINGS: suicide mission, depressing themes, etc.

You take a deep breath, steeling your nerves as you rest your sweaty palms on the large, heavy metal doors. Closing your eyes, you exhale a final calming sigh, and with a firm push, you send the oversized doors swinging inward. "L/n Y/n," You declare confidently, briskly entering the room, taking long strides. "Pro hero 'Scribble.' " You stop as you reach the end of the long, oval table, and quickly scan the room.

"Ah. Miss Scribble. Please, take a seat."

Your eyes widen as they land on two figures more than you were expecting, disregarding his invitation to sit. "I was unaware there would be others here today, sir." You state transparently, gaze locking with that of the HSPC's acting president. "I was under the impression this conversation was something... not meant for prying eyes."

A small scoff drags your attention back to the cocked eyebrow of the ash blonde boy you had grown to know too well. "You're kidding." Disrespectful and entitled as ever, his scornful tone is accompanied by his legs strewn carelessly upon the pristine table. His eyes seem to size you up. He had, of course, done this countless times before–but this time felt differ; weariness and pity now in the depths of his eyes. "She's not right for this."

"Right for what?" You frown. You hadn't been told what was so confidential–only that it was of the upmost importance.

Your question remained unanswered as the hot-tempered boy brought his feet harshly swing down, his hard glare finally shifting to the man sitting directly across the table from you. "No. I won't."

"Won't what?"

Again, they do not respond. "Why not? Do you disagree that she would be the perfect fit? Think about this, Dynamight. Do not let your personal life get in the way of what you know is right."

You begin to bristle. They have not so much as looked your way since you got here.

Wait–that's not true.

He hasn't looked anywhere but your way, you note.

Green hair, freckles, doe eyes.

He looks young. Innocent. Too much so to be somewhere like here.

Too much so to be who you know he must be.

"What sets her apart from the rest?" The boy speaks, emerald eyes not leaving yours, staring with great, earnest intrigue. And yet, again, in the forests that are his eyes, you find pity. "What is her quirk?"

"Inkw-" You begin.

"Eighth hero Scribble possesses the quirk Inkwell. Secreted by glands in her fingertips, her ink can be brought to life when drawn with." He reads from–a file of you? Seriously? "Bound by the law, she cannot legally create paper currency, but anything other, from her ink, may be created by her and only her. Similar to that of Ms. Creati–however since she need not burn her own fat to utilize her quirk, less holds her back."

Invasion of privacy.

"Eighth?" Japan's top hero mumbles. His eyes finally leave yours as they dart around the room anxiously. "She would be rather well suited." He says, returning to normal volume. "You can't deny that much."

"You want to bet, Deku? No."

"Kacch-"

"If you wish to speak of me as if I'm not here, I'll leave." You announce, officially done with taking the disrespect. "But if you want something of me, my storming out will not help your odds."

All three pairs of eyes dart to you, a smirk playing on the lips of a certain smug boy.

"I suppose there's no point in debating this matter if she may not agree to it anyway." Mr. number one acknowledges, biting his lip.

A long- painfully so- sigh escapes the lips of the president as he massages his temples, and you swear you can hear his teeth grinding. "Alright then, Ms. Scribble." He motions again for me to sit–and coupled by the finality in his tone, you obey.

The screech of the chair resounds almost ominously through the brightly lit room as you finally take your seat; almost like a warning.

"On behalf of the Hero Public Safety Commission, I am here to present forth to you your next mission."

You snort. "Awful extravagant for just another mission briefing."

The laugh isn't returned.

"Let me be clear, Ms. Scribble." His eyes are flint hard. "This is not 'just another mission briefing.' Anything said, done, or shown hero, is never to leave these walls. Understood?"

You hesitate, your eyes scanning the room for someone you can trust. They find those of your brother's best friend–hold eye contact; search for the truth in his eyes.

You can't tell just whether the drowning sensation is from him challenging you to say yes–or begging you to say no.

In the end, it's the earnest sincerity in his eyes that convinces you.

You tear your eyes away, and for the second time in the past ten minutes, you find yourself closing your eyes.

You let out a calming exhale.

"Understood."

[whiskeyswriting]

Peter's Way Home | Chapter 1: Peter's Ladybug

{ Masterlist }

A/N: Image header by me using Canva; divider by @silkholland

It had been the hardest three months after losing your mom and now today is the first day back at Midtown Science High School. While it wasn’t the first day of school, that’s what it felt like to you.

It had been an accident they said. The fire couldn’t be contained in the restaurant's kitchen. She died saving her coworkers. She was a hero. Yet, it didn’t feel like an accident when it felt more like negligence on her job’s part. Had the fire extinguishers been properly maintained or the windows not been painted shut, you would still have your mother.

The sound of a skateboard along the sidewalk drew you out of your thoughts. “Hey, ladybug!” Your best friend calls out to you.

“Hi Peter,” you say softly, needing to get used to using your voice again.

“Are you sure you’re ready to come back to school and deal with the idiots?” He teases.

“Someone has to keep them in line right?” You bump your shoulder with his. “So tell me everything that I’ve missed.”

You smile as Peter starts on his rambling catching you up on everything that had been going on at school.

The morning at school had gone by quicker than you anticipated. Your teachers had already been reminded that you had been homeschooling while you were in your months of grief.

It wasn’t easy. There was no point in lying about it. There were days when you would do your schooling at your dad’s fire station. On other days, you stayed with Peter’s Aunt May and Uncle Ben. They had always been great neighbors since you moved into the neighborhood but in the last few years, they became your second family.

During lunch, you head to the courtyard and you spot Peter and make your way to him. Before you can reach him, you hear him telling Flash to put another kid down. Next thing you know, Flash is beating Peter up.

“Eugene!” You yell out at the same time as Gwen approaches him. “I’ll walk with Flash. You check on Peter,” you tell Gwen, knowing of Peter’s crush on her.

You had once hoped he would crush on you but his happiness mattered more to you, so you would help him win the girl of his dreams.

“Flash! What the hell was that for?” You ask him harshly. “You promised me you would leave Peter alone.”

He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in close for a hug. “I’m sorry. Welcome back to school. I should have given my best girl a hug before now.”

You return the hug. “Thank you, Flash! But I won't tutor you again if I see or hear you making fun of Peter... No matter what.”

You didn’t notice that, as you talked with Flash, Peter spotted you and felt annoyed that you two were hugging. He knew he had no right. You were entitled to your own friends. But did Flash have to be one of them?

It was surprising to anyone to hear that Flash Thompson and you were friends. You were considered one of the nerds. Flash was the jock everyone loved. Well, mostly everyone. Your friendship with Flash blossomed from your days studying at the firehouse. His father and older brother were firefighters, so he would often visit and sit with you as you tutored him.

“Since you’re my best girl, it’s only fair that I take you as my date to homecoming,” he says smiling charmingly at you.

“That would be fun,” you reply. “Come on, let’s get to class and we can talk more later about homecoming.”

“Actually,” he shuffles his feet nervously. “I was hoping you’d say yes to being my girlfriend. I’ve got a crush on you and well we’re a good team.”

You weren’t blind. Flash was handsome. You both got along pretty well. You both actually had things in common. Though it’s not the guy you would have hoped for, you nodded yes. 

“Woooo! She said she’ll be my girlfriend,” Flash yells with a laugh.

When you’re in class, you can hear Gwen asking Peter if he knew his name. You try not to giggle when you sense him getting flustered at talking with her. 

After school, you and Gwen discuss what topics to go over at the next debate team meeting. The subject then changes to boys.

“So I heard Flash asked you out,” Gwen says with a teasing smile.

“Did the whole school find out?” You reply laughing.

“Oh Flash was telling everybody that would listen that he got his dream girl.”

“Dream girl?” You scoff in disbelief.

“That’s what he was saying to the basketball team in gym,” she continued teasing.

You groan and hide your face. Never had Flash shown any such interest in you so it left you confused as to why he would say you were his dream girl. It’s not that you weren’t pretty, but you knew the more popular girls in school would typically be the Dream Girl for someone like Flash. 

Of course, hearing those words boosted your self-esteem a bit. It took you a few more minutes to refocus on the debate team. 

Once done with debate, you waited for Peter to finish his photographs so you could walk home together. 

“Ladybug!” He came and hug attacked you, wincing when his sides brushed up against your backpack. 

“Peter, when will you stop calling me that?”

“Mmmm… Let me think about it… Never.”

“What about when you get married? And then I get married? And we’re both old…? You’ll still call me ladybug?”

He turns to you and grabs your shoulders. “We’ll be ghosts and I’ll still call you ladybug… Besides, it’s how I keep your mom’s memory alive.”

You stop walking for a moment. “What?”

“Your mom. The day you moved into the neighborhood… you were wearing a ladybug dress and so was your mom. She was calling you her little ladybug.”

“I never knew you knew.”

Arriving home, you find your dad had the night off today. “Hey! So I decided we could have pizza and wings. I also got your mom’s favorite movies so we can make fun of her taste,” he teases but the pain could still be heard.

You rush to hug him. “Sounds like the best night we’ve had in a while… So, uhm guess who asked me out?”

“Peter finally asked you out?”

Your eyes widen. “No. Why would you think it was Peter?”

“Because you two are always together and inseparable. I know one day you’ll end up together.”

“Sorry to burst that bubble, Dad. But it was Flash that asked me out… Both for homecoming and as his girlfriend.”

Your dad sighs deeply and pouts. “I don’t want you growing up. But know I’ll help you with anything for the dance… You know you have May to help too… I have some of your mom’s jewelry that you can use.”

“I love you, Dad.”

As you’re getting ready for bed after the movie, there’s a knock on your window. “I’m decent Peter. You can come in.”

He smiles at your fuzzy socks and the fact that you’re wearing your mom’s cheerleading sweater as your pajama top. “Do you still have her perfume to spray on the sweater?”

“Yeah. I sometimes wear it to feel her close again.”

“Tell me more about her,” he says as he lays on your bed. He knows you have been having a hard time sleeping after your mom’s death so he’s kept his promise of being there with you at night to help you sleep.

Only that today would be the last night for a while he would be there for you. Eventually, another entity would take over your thoughts at night.

--

PWH 🏷 List: @dxmerons @1lellykins @scarlett-witchh @asoulsreverie

Whiskey's Barrel (Permanent Tag List): @askmarinaandothers @bayisdying @breadsquash @callmemana @callsignscupcake @cycbaby @dragon-kazansky @gracespicybradshaw @hisredheadedgoddess28 @ladylanera @starlit-epiphany

[haerinz]

𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫

PAIRING: jake x gn!reader GENRE: mainly angst, some fluff, strangers to friends to lovers to exes au, right person wrong time au WARNINGS: brief mentions of drinking, talks abt insecurities, poor writing lol, not proofread or edited & i wrote this a while back; please lmk if you feel that there are any other warnings that should be added WORD COUNT: 751 words MASTERLIST | NAVI

your first few months together felt like a dream. after numerous heartbreaks, you had finally found your prince charming in jake. your first meeting, during a physics lecture, in which he had entered late and snuck into the last remaining spot, located right beside you. your first impressions of him, marked by his bright smile and infectious laugh, were positive enough to have you start seeking out his presence. your shared hatred for your professor served as the initial common ground for the two of you to bond over, eventually growing into an intimate friendship.

jake had proved himself to be a great friend, and soon after becoming official, you realized he was a great partner as well. the very definition of a perfect boyfriend, jake always went out of his way to take care of you. just as much as you loved jake, you loved the way he made you feel. he was never afraid to show his love for you. his kisses were soft against your skin, setting off fireworks in your heart with each touch. everything about him felt comfortable. maybe that’s why you allow yourself to indulge, giving him all your firsts. he’s the first person to see all of you, more than just what you show others. and he welcomed it, letting you grow comfortable beside him.

it's near your 5-month anniversary with jake when you finally grew aware of the true extent of his popularity. you don’t particularly enjoy sharing, but you understand that it wouldn’t be fair to jake or his friends for you to compromise all his time. jake had been relieved when he realized your feelings on the matter, pressing a kiss to your forehead and promising that he’d always make time for you even if he had other commitments. you’re satisfied with the promise and enjoy listening to the smile in his voice as he tells you all about his friends.

close to your 8-month anniversary, everything started to go downhill. you know you were being greedy. It was selfish of you to feel entitled to jake, even as his partner, but you couldn’t stand it anymore. you hated the feeling of being without him. you hated how dependent you had become on him. you couldn’t even remember the last time the two of you met in person, but you’ve felt empty since. although the feelings threatened to eat you up, you bottled it all up and settled for the bare minimum that jake provided, missing the fireworks that once sparked from his very presence.

today would’ve marked a year since the day jake had first promised himself to you. he’s nowhere to be found, even though it was his suggestion to celebrate together. it’s cold out and your clothes are soaked from the rain, but all you can think about is how you're drowning in his broken promises. the sparks that were just barely flickering, finally wither as you reach your breaking point.

your heart is tight as you desperately dial jake’s number on your phone. the ringing is loud in your ears, only second to the sound of your heartbeat as you grow in a panic. the pounding in your head raises in volume and your heart races more with each unanswered call. jake only picks up after the fifth time you call him. “where are you? you promised this time would be different.” your lips threaten to quiver as you speak, but you fight the feeling, refusing to let him hear you cry. it's clear to you that jake had been drinking from the slight slur to his words as he lets out a string of curses and apologies for forgetting. "baby, i'm so sorry. you know i love you so much, right?" he presses a kiss to the phone and hangs up after hurriedly promising to come to get you.

just as he promised, jake doesn’t take long. you're sure that he must’ve been speeding to reach you so quickly. you can tell how desperate he is from how he runs towards you, wrapping you in his arms. his eyes are apologetic and a frown mars his pretty face as he cradles your face in his hands. jake rests his forehead against yours and you love the way he looks at you as if you deserve more than the world. jake had once been enough for you, but times have changed and you have to accept now that he isn’t your "always" anymore. the tears threatening to spill from his eyes tell you that he realizes it too. still standing beneath the rain, he presses a soft kiss to your lips. and you both know it will be your last.

tysm for reading!! feedback & constructive criticism are appreciated ♡

[pynkhues]

curious as to your thoughts on the may december discourse (some spoilers i guess) - vili has come out and essentially said that he felt the film contributed to his victimization and hurt him. and the response from a lot of film twitter seems to be to yell ITS NOT A BIOPIC and to say he doesnt understand the film (gross). i feel like i dont really care if its a biopic or not, when the film literally quoted vili/mary kay, recreated the mary kay in prison photo exactly, and both charles melton and julianne moore studied vili/mary kay for their performances. to hand wave that all as "not a biopic" feels like a way of writing off any discomfort. i feel like the film should not have made those specific choices, but having done so they had a duty of care to vili. i dont think the film that ended up getting made is worth the continued trauma to vili even if it is art. there were other ways they could have told the story to minimize the harm and they chose not to - and i dont think that choice is a great commentary on tabloids or whatever, its just a ghoulish thing to do

I did see that, anon, and I do have thoughts on it as it's a real grey area in terms of creative license, art and storytelling, and it's a grey area that's been around really since storytelling existed, but before I get into that I just want to quickly clarify what Vili said, because I do think it's important.

Vili didn't say that the film contributed to his victimisation and hurt him, he said the film offended him because it was a ripoff:

“I’m still alive and well,” says Fualaau, now 40 and still living in the Seattle area, where the scandal unfolded. “If they had reached out to me, we could have worked together on a masterpiece. Instead, they chose to do a ripoff of my original story. “I’m offended by the entire project and the lack of respect given to me — who lived through a real story and is still living it,” he adds.

“I love movies — good movies,” he says. “And I admire ones that capture the essence and complications of real-life events. You know, movies that allow you to see or realize something new every time you watch them. “Those kinds of writers and directors — someone who can do that — would be perfect to work with, because my story is not nearly as simple as this movie [portrays],” Fualaau adds.

The reason I think this distinction is an important one to make is because in interviews since Mary Kay Letourneau passing, it's pretty clear that Vili - while absolutely being a victim-survivor - doesn't see himself that way, and even says pretty specifically in his Doctor Oz interview from 2020 that he doesn't see her as a predator or himself as having been preyed on ('there was no perversion...she was my wife and my best friend' are his exact words), and he's pretty clearly open to the idea of a film being made about his story.

I'm not saying this to diminish his feelings about May December at all (I strongly believe that Vili is entitled to feel any and every which way about the film) or to patronise his own understanding of what he experienced - I can't even begin to imagine the complexity of trying to unpack the life he shared with her - but I think it's important to reflect his feelings accurately and to provide a little context to those feelings.

With that said, do I think the creative team should've reached out to Vili before making the film?

Honestly, I don't know.

I think it's one of those questions in art where there's not really a right answer. If Vili's feelings towards Mary Kay are still lost in the silver linings of her grooming, any film that has his direct approval or involvement is going to run the risk of tacit endorsement. It also hamstrings the creative team and opens them up in terms of liability (I actually was a writers assistant on a TV show a million years ago that was sort of a bio pic and I can tell you for a fact that it was a disaster once the person it was based on got involved), and, of course, it runs the risk of shifting the focus of the story the writer is wanting to tell.

And that's the thing about art, right? By design, art is supposed to reflect us back to ourselves in ways that we might not always be comfortable with. Of course, that usually happens less literally than in how Todd Haynes has used Vili and Mary Kay's stories, but not always. Todd Haynes is certainly no stranger to the technique given Velvet Goldmine is pretty transparently inspired by David Bowie and I'm Not There is often confused as a Bob Dylan bio pic despite the fact that it's actually not.

Hell, everyone loves that Succession points a pretty clear finger to the Murdoch's, and while, of course, the Murdoch's - and Bowie and Dylan for that matter - have social, political and economic power that Vili doesn't which does impact the ethics of the decision, it's still made under the same creative ideology that aspects of a real story can render an artwork, a story, a film more emotionally authentic, can create greater resonance, can offer a sharper reflection of the world we live in and offer, perhaps, a message or a question that lingers.

All of this has actually kind of been funny timing as I just finished reading Sarah Weinman's The Real Lolita the other day which is a really excellent blend of true crime, literary history and critical commentary on this exact topic. The book explores the real life case of Sally Horner who was kidnapped by a pedophile in 1948 when she was 11 years old and was forced to roadtrip with him around America for two years. It's actually mentioned in passing in Nabokov's Lolita, but once you go a little deeper it's pretty clear how much of Horner and her story Nabokov used to create Dolores Haze / Lolita.

In the book, Weinnman asks the question as to why Lolita gets to be remembered when Sally's been left to obscurity, and of course, the answer is that there are other Sally's in the news cycle, but only one Lolita in art, and that hopefully in her writing Sally Horner's story she can write her back into bookshelves and place her back into this artwork but who knows if that's what Sally would've wanted (Sarah does, at least, talk to Sally's lone surviving family member, and makes a measure to show that it's very unlikely Nabokov ever did the same).

Was Nabokov wrong for not seeking out Sally's family for Lolita? Honestly, I doubt it even would've occured to him to do so, and the fact that we do now ask questions like this about the ethics of inspiration is, I think, a good thing. We should be critical of how stories are told and who is, and isn't, involved in the telling of them, but again, I don't actually think there are right or wrong answers here.

Fiction is always inspired by real people, real events, real life, it's a part of creation, it's a part of capturing a moment in time, it's about reflection and authenticity, but of course that's been rendered more complex in recent years by the fact that we live in a world that's ever shrinking and the people or the events that inspire new stories are inevitably brought into the public narrative in a way they just weren't back in 1955 when Lolita was first published.

So what does that mean for creativity and inspiration? I don't know, but personally I guess my thoughts would be that Vili is absolutely in his rights to be offended by the film, but I also don't think the filmmakers were wrong necessarily to not reach out. It's not the most ethical choice, but I also don't think it was an inherently bad one either. This isn't a Blonde situation where they write fiction and present it as fact, the creatives have been clear about it being inspried by what happened between Mary Kay and Vili, but they're also not saying Vili and Mary Kay are Joe and Gracie.

I appreciate you feeling like it's much of a muchness though given how they've apparently lifted entire scenes of dialogue. It's a murky question after all, and it's certainly one that's more complex when it comes to people like Vili and Sally than it is with the Murdoch's or even David Bowie, but yes, I'm not sure I see it as something inherently wrong, and I don't personally think it was ghoulish. I just think the specifics of this particular case just kind of shows how the sausage is made when it comes to storytelling.

[rustedhearts]

hi rolly hope ur well! i just read just friends (again) and i loved it so so much!! i love how much of each other they find in the other and i love how lived in you made the apartment feel, its truly incredible how much of the apartment and its history with these two friends i felt i could see in my mind's eye within just a few sentences! i also think that steve shopping at ambercrombie is absolutely hilarious but also yeah he would, wouldn't he? this whole thing was so cosy and i really admired how very known r and steve felt to each other, like it felt like they knew each other and were in love with each other because they knew so much about each other and wanted to keep learning about each other forever, which is similar to what i think steve said out loud in his confession, but it also came across in their actions to each other, especially steve's!

also him stroking and massaging her knee to comfort her while he himself was upset was such a small and sweet detail that i think really pulled the whose scene together, like a small thing that showed that he would always e considerate of her even when he it wasn't easy and when he himself wasn't doing great! i'm trying to work this right, it felt like a small detail with big implications that made the scene itself more complete and made his confession ring truer than him just announcing it.

okay, this part is a bit of a two part tangent, the first being pretty simple, that i believe you are mind reading me because EYE recently watches steel magnolias for the first time two weeks ago and have since watched it about half a dozen times because i am so charmed by those southern ladies, and i feel an itch to watch every julia roberts movie there is. the second part of this tangent is a little less connected, i'll admit, and is also less about this specific story and more about a trope/device? i always feel so bad for those other girls from the bar/party that steve/mmc sleeps with/dates either to distract from or because they remind him of his true love.......i would be SO upset if some guy said he only hung out with me because i was a passable copy of his best friend/roommate like man, you do NOT deserve my time and attention, my company is for people who genuinely like me ONLY. i am also not critiquing it in the story, i get why it's there, how it's a good side detail to add in the story for drama/angst/romance purposes, and intellectually understand it's function, and it doesn't like, disturb anything (even if it did, it wouldn't matter, because writers are entitled to write licherally whatever they want on free reading website .com), i just have recently noticed how i'll always unwittingly invest more emotional energy than the story itself needs me to in these background ladies and i'm always like oh :'(. this paragraph is admittedly off topic and very large for something that is ultimately nothing, my bad for that, pls feel free to ignore this part fo the ask if u want, i just needed a place to put this thought with context.

thank you bb!! i thought abercrombie was a very steve place to shop lol, especially in the early 2000s when they still had those bags with the shirtless guys on them (i have one in my christmas wrapping bc we always save bags and it’s truly a relic)

oh lord can you imagine him being one of the guys that stood outside shirtless and coaxed girls into coming in 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that’s so steve

but anyway lol

none of the girls steve went out with knew he was using them! it was always a one and done type of deal. one night stands that, for the most part, the girl was okay with leaving casual. sure, he told most of them he’d call them and then never did, but at least he never strung them along knowing he wasn’t interested lol

but roommate!steve is quite the slut. probably the sluttiest steve i’ve written to date

[alescendants]

My Disenchanted thoughts

I know this blog is called alescendants but Disenchanted is still Disney and it makes sense to write my opinions on it here. These are my personal opinions, everyone is entitled to have their own thoughts on this movie.

I wrote a lot so it’s all hiding under the readmore:

PROS

Finally, we know why Giselle was living with animals in the woods!

Morgan calling Giselle ‘Mom’ was so pure ngl

Seeing Giselle, Robert, Edward, and Nancy all being friends years later was so sweet, and the latter two being Sofia’s godparents? My heartt 😭😭

And finally Nancy sings! I keep repeating “For through this wand from Andalasia flows the magic of our magic world to here”, and also Love Power obviously lol

"Congratulations on the increasing size of your progeny." and "Hogwashery!" in this film vs "I don't know what ‘melodramatic’ means" in the first film. Bless you, Edward, you're academic now and I am so proud of you

“Morgan, if you want to be mad, you be mad at me. But you do not talk to your mother like that!” >>>

Robert is the blueprint for all men I swear

Morgan hating the move is all the better when you remember Robert said she’s shy and doesn’t have many friends. I feel you, Morgan, I suck at making friends too 😀🤝

I don’t get why people don’t like the music, I loved all of it! It saved the movie imo.

Maya Rudolph can SINGGGGGGGG

“Nobody ever would bother to tell a tale with Maleficent and with Cruella.” That was good honestly.

Gabriella Baldacchino is so good in this! She can really sing, good for her.

CONS

Everyone saying ‘the whole cast is back’ when Nathaniel wasn't in the movie (as well as Narissa for obvious reasons) felt very weird and wrong to me

Why was Edward barely in the movie?? His himbo energy is a big part of makes the first film so great imo, and while he did steal the three scenes he was in (yes, three), he deserved to be in the movie more. Also this is a personal issue but I hate how he’s never called ‘King Edward’, as I was hoping his Disney Wiki page would be able to be retitled to that lmao. His name is King Edward of Andalasia, put some respect on his name.

And I was hoping he’d have a scene with Morgan detailing his own experiences with wicked stepmothers. But he and Nancy were missing for the whole middle act 😭, AND James Marsden deserved to sing more!

Robert too. Why did they make him an idiot knight? He’s not endearing like Edward, he just annoyed me. And they obviously kept him out of most of the film because True Love’s Kiss would undo Giselle’s wish. It pissed me off how nobody thought of doing that lmao

“We bring love from Andalasia and offer belated birthday cheer.” That was in the trailer, they filmed a part for it. It and the rest of the lyrics are in the official Spotify song, so why was it cut out of the film? So unnecessary.

Same with the Monroeville portion of the opening song, it should’ve been kept in.

The 2D animation sucks, and why did Nancy look so different? She and Idina both don’t have blue eyes, where did that even come from?

I wanted Giselle to go back to Andalasia and for Robert to go there period. We need to fully see how he looks in 2D and how Giselle changed.

And I dislike the implication that Giselle has never returned to Andalasia and shown Robert and Morgan where she grew up. As IF she’d never say goodbye to the animals who raised her. And since Morgan always asked for stories about Andalasia, why not TAKE her there? Literally what is stopping her? It’s bad writing.

And speaking of Morgan, yes teens are angsty but it still hurt to see her fight with Giselle (their relationship in the first movie is precious).

And I’m confused about the whole wicked stepmother thing? “It’s not true what they say, I have met so many kind and wonderful stepmothers.” What happened to that?

But ignoring that, Morgan calling Giselle her stepmother in the argument hurt bad. Because she knows how Giselle (apparently) feels about stepmothers and she was obviously trying to hurt her.

Giselle could’ve done her animal call and it either doesn’t work or ravens and other animals portrayed as villains (snakes, rats like in Lady and the Tramp) show up. That’d fuck her up and it’d be cool to watch! And Morgan sang the animal call in pt 2 of Fairytale Life, she should’ve done it for real.

Malvina was disappointing. I was expecting her to be an Andalasian who Narissa banished, like Giselle. Maybe they’re related (like Ursula and Morgana) and/or she was threatened by her magical competition so she sent her away. And with a name with Malvina, it made sense to me that she’d be Andalasian. Clearly that was the intention and I don’t get why the team behind the movie would trick the audience like that bc it’s the opposite of a good plot twist. Queen Narissa had way less screen time and I prefer her way better.

Plus it’d keep Narissa relevant to the plot which was not the case and I was deeply disappointed.

I predicted that with Monroeville’s slogan literally being “Your Fairy Tale starts here!”, it’d be designed by Malvina to be a trap for Andalasians to find out how they left Andalasia and if she can take their portal back there. Like there was so much potential that went wasted.

And where the hell is Malvina’s husband? (He’s on the billboard with Malvina and Tyson at the entrance of Monroeville, so he definitely existed at one point.) If he’s dead, at least just mention it once?

Why was Morgan and Tyson’s song cut? It’d give him + their relationship much needed development and it’s a cute song.

Rosaleen and Ruby were annoying. I love YNB and Jayma but their characters aggravated me.

Sofia crying after Morgan was pushed down the well could’ve been a chance for Giselle to break away from her evil self to care for her daughter. I thought that’d happen. We all did, right?

There’s probably more but I’ll stop here lol

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Already

I cried already this morning.

My kid isn't eligible to go to a prom unless he's asked to go by a junior or senior, because he's just a 10th grader still. And he is unlikely to go to prom when he's eligible anyway unless one of his 3 best friends or someone he is actually dating in the next 2 years (also unlikely) almost (or actually) begs him to go. He doesn't like manufactured socializing or loudness or dressing up (Shit I wonder where this kid comes from? 😂 It's not like J and I both also hate all that shit...🙄😂). But my friend D's kids and my friend B's son are all eligible to go to their school prom and they are all kids like their dads. Social butterflies. Class clowns even, at least in D's son's case. Popular, socially in demand kids. And because of you, A, I'm half-ass back on Facebook, so I saw the prom pictures hit this morning. And it was supremely bittersweet. Because I LOVE looking at D and B and their families being happy, whether I'm blessed to do that in person like I did this winter into early spring, or in photographs. But because it's prom, it made me think about you.

You and me, man, we did not have good luck with proms. (There's a colossal understatement). Both of them kinda sucked, and even the Senior Dinner Dance wasn't great, but wow junior prom was *particularly* shitty. I should have just not gone to any of that shit, because I didn't like anything about them anyway, and it cost a lot of money I didn't have. I wore that junior prom dress twice, remember? I re-wore it to Senior Dinner Dance, and CB was like...judging me. She was so mean. How the fuck was she our homecoming queen? A mean kid would never ever win something like that at a local school now. Seriously. Now kids like D's and B's kids win that stuff. But anyway, I did go because T begged me to go. She got me to go with that guy from the private school her date went to (same private school D's and B's sons' team ceremoniously beat in basketball this spring in the regional tournament...the whole school is entitled, privileged assholes it seems, and always has been). And you went with that girl from the other snooty area school (the only high school guy I dated that I actually liked and felt safe with went there too, but in our defense, they were a brand new school and had yet to turn snooty back then), but you wanted to date T. And all of that shit blew up at prom. And then shit blew up with you and T later anyway, and it was barely even later. Before senior year started, it was over. (It was over with the guy I was seeing between prom and school starting too; we all went out together to play mini golf and he saw me talk to you after being separated most of the summer because you were doing band and Smarty Pants programs and shit and he accused me of cheating on him with you...so dumb). I always thought T was your best girlfriend. I thought that for DECADES, man. I wished you married her. I did. Years I thought this, wondered what went wrong there, because she was the only one who wouldn't cheat on you. You never told me how quietly mean she was though, and I guess I overlooked it in high school, and since I only got the Facebook edits of her life and values and personality, which everyone knows is heavily curated and usually skewed positive to project the right stuff in the right light. I bet she was mean to you, and you didn't tell me then or ever because you didn't want to wreck another friendship for me. Dude, I wish you told me. I don't like how few friendships I seem to have and how tenuous they are to keep, but I'd have burned that bridge to the ground for you. You know that. I've burned it now anyway.

When you died, T reached out to me. One of the first people. She knew we were close, mostly because of that prom. And I guess she knew we were still close even though we were never Bestie Bestie Bestie lets get matching tshirts and bracelets and shit and take lots of pictures of it and tag each other all the time so everyone knows we're besties on social media like she does and several other people from high school do with their best friends. I thought she was genuinely sad herself about you, and genuinely cared about me. But I think she just wanted an excuse to gossip about you and insult you to me in her passive aggressive way, and somehow thought you dying gave her permission to do that (finally...I almost think she was waiting for us to have a fight and not be friends anymore or even this, to give her an opening to trash you to me). First, she asked if you'd committed suicide. (I'll never know for sure sure, because I'll never look up your autopsy results, but I have to believe NO, based on all of our 30+ year friendship and everything you ever said to me and how much you loved your kid and your dogs. Like no way you'd do that to them.) T almost seemed like she wanted that answer to be yes. Like she wanted to know you were that miserable and in pain in your life. Like that would make her feel smugly good. And then when I told her I was not doing well when she asked how I was holding up, her choice of comforting thoughts was not comforting. 'We can just look back and remember the good times we had with him *and laugh about his idiotic choices.*'

That phrasing didn't land hard in the moment. I was too devastatingly sad to be angry with her or defensive about you then. But I'm mad about it now. I can't believe she'd take that opportunity to focus on what she perceived as your mistakes. I used to think when she asked me how you were doing over the years that she really cared, maybe was even still carrying a flickering torch for you, but now I think she was just jonesing to hear some bad news. She wanted schadenfreude...to take pleasure in your unhappiness. I hope I never gave her the satisfaction, because when you did share that you were unhappy with me, I never shared that with other people, particularly not her. It's not my place to do that. I hope I was always a loyal, trustworthy person in your life. I hope you always thought I was safe. I hope you always knew without a doubt you were loved and valued with me. That I didn't care about your 'mistakes.'

Anyway, I said up there ^ in this ramble that I wish I hadn't gone to any proms or whatever. Which is mostly true. But I know you'd have gone to all of that stuff anyway. And then it would have been bad for you without a buffer. So what I really wish is that we went together. You wouldn't have ever tried to be all over me like Private School Boy or judged that I wore the same dress to 2 different events. Or maybe I wish that I could have talked you somehow into not going and walking around the park or an all night grocery store or something with me instead. I think it would have saved us both a lot of grief. There's no going back though. No Monday morning quarterbacking. Hindsight and all that shit. That's why this morning I've cried already.

Still miss you every day. Wish you could see D's kid in his Prom Prince sash mugging at cameras fucking EXACTLY like D. 😂 Wish you could see B's son with his high school sweetheart in the couples shots, and he's probably going to marry her in a couple years, just like his parents. Just wish you were here. 💔😢❤️

[thedramaticgazette]

I saw the first ever preview of Great Gatsby on Broadway. Here are my (pretty negative) thoughts.

Before I begin, I am just writing this for fun. This is not serious, and it's all my own opinion. We're all entitled to our own. I go on tangents as well so know this is more than a review. If you'd like to read more reviews, I try to upload once a week. ALSO THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW.

On Friday, March 29th, 2024 I went to see The Great Gatsby on Broadway. It was their first preview, first time ever on a Broadway stage with a paying audience. My friend and I went, bought tickets the moment they went on sale. We sat back orchestra, not to the wall but close. Despite it's hype...it was a tad underwhelming.

_________________________________________________

Let's discuss the Headliners.

The show is commercialized as "Featuring Jeremy Jordan and Eva Noblezada" which I understand is to rake in revenue necessary to keep the show running, but I hate when shows do that. I feel like it takes away from the work and talent of everyone else involved in the cast. Jeremy Jordan is a Broadway phenomenon, almost everyone knows his name. He is best known for his role as Jack Kelly in Newsies, but has since then gone on to do a ton of projects and concerts including the Greatest Showman's workshop, where he so famously discusses at a concert of his how he lost the role to Zac Efron. He's been in Little Shop Off-Broadway, which I had the pleasure of seeing him in and will definitely post a review of because it was a breathtaking performance from everyone involved but - I digress. My point is that everyone loves Jeremy Jordan. He is placed on this pedestal above everyone else, a renowned Broadway actor. He plays the leading man, Jay Gatsby, who has been in love with one Daisy Fay, now Daisy Buchanan, since they met years before when he was about to leave for war. Daisy is played by Eva Noblezada, a Broadway superstar best known for her role as Euridyce in Hadestown, or as superfans know her, as Kim in Miss Saigon. I had the pleasure of meeting both, Eva as she snuck out of a different stage door as the mob at the actual stage door was panic attack inducing, where she thanked us for coming and we chatted for a few. I met Jeremy after a Little Shop performance back in August, and he was one of the douchiest men I have ever met in my life.

And let me preface this all by saying that I cannot imagine how annoying it must be to feel like you have to be "on" all the time for people. Like you're an enigma people just want to look at, and all. I don't know a thing about showbiz. I do know, however, that it isn't too hard to be kind.

I cannot imagine how annoying it is to stage door all the time - to have so much privacy ripped away when you are as renowned as you are in the theater world - a world that so famously does not understand boundaries. But would it fucking KILL YOU to be the teensiest bit kind? Jordan threw my pen back at me after we met, barely signing my playbill. It looked like a chore to be out there, and there were only about 20 of us waiting at stage door that day. I assume, and this is coming from someone who knows next to nothing, that he doesn't HAVE to do stage door. If I'm wrong, ignore everything above. But if it's his choice, then don't fucking come out! I'd rather not meet someone if they're going to be rude than meet someone who makes me feel like it's annoying that I'm there.

All that being said, Jeremy's voice is no doubt superb. It's soft but passionate and I could listen to it for hours. He does, however, lack any wow factor when it comes to acting this role. He is able to reach in and become the character when he sings, but during speaking scenes I felt like I was watching a bad high schooler. Also, here's a game you can play if you go to see it. TAKE A FUCKING SHOT every time Jeremy Jordan says the term "Old Sport" in the show. You'll have alcohol poisoning by the end of it. I understand we wanted accuracy from the book and that that phrase has a lot of meaning for Gatsby's character but MAN the way Jordan says it made me want to swallow a pair of jorts or something.

Noblezada has a voice clearer than the seas in the Caribbean. It cuts like glass. She is an incredible performer, every note looks and sounds effortless. She did, in my opinion (and who the fuck am i, really) act Daisy much like she did Eurydice though. Her performance is lovely, per usual at the center of it all.

The letdowns.

Woof. First I'll start with Paul Whitty. Good fucking lord. What the hell??? How was he the choice for George Wilson. His voice wasn't as bad as someone else's who I'll discuss further down, but I mean. No one else? Really? Is no one searching in the casting calls that 200 people are in line for almost every week? His songs were lackluster and felt like an afterthought, space that needed filling. Second, I'm a huge fan of Eric Anderson, I saw him many times in the 394790173493 times I've gone to see Moulin Rouge on Broadway, and he was fantastic every time (per my review you can find on my page.) However, his performance as Meyer Wolfsheim was...boring to say the least. His character, granted, has very little stage time and only one big number, which opens Act II and while the choreo was very flashy, it wasn't anything like the Bad Romance x Toxic opening of Act II that Moulin Rouge has. Third, I think John Zdrojeski was the most confusing choice to play Tom Buchanan, Daisy's abusive, cheating husband. He's pretty nice to look at, sure. But his voice? Jesus Christmas they couldn't find ANYONE else?!?!!? Maybe it's because he had five singing lines total that I couldn't get a better feel of his voice, or maybe that choice was made on purpose because they knew Zdrojeski was gonna play him but his voice sucks so much. SO SO much. His vibrato sounded forced and the melody sounded off, it felt like they put him on stage just because he was a pretty good actor and had abs.

There were a few mishaps in terms of head pieces falling off - which I got the pleasure of hearing about from the costume people who sat behind me and discussed notes during intermission and many of the dresses looked quite baggy on the dancers, but otherwise it seemed pretty accurate.

The best parts.

My favorite, by far, was Samantha Pauly as Jordan Baker. She is the standout for me, capturing Jordan's essence perfectly. Spunky, doesn't give a fuck and a girl's girl. The costume choices for Jordan's character were done exquisitely as well, and Pauly's voice was show stopping. Noah J. Ricketts as Nick Carraway was another showstopper. Not only is he nice to look at, he's nice to listen to. His voice is smooth like butta, his acting is great and I loved the back and forth he and Pauly's characters had. The set was a wow factor for sure - if this is nominated for any Tony's (I'll be as surprised as Gatsby when Daisy turns him down if there aren't) the set should surely win. Created by Paul Tate dePoo III, the set glides on and off, the projections work seamlessly and overall I was in awe of the glitter and gold of it all. Platforms erupt from the floor in a nonchalant way, as if to say "we had all the money in the world for this show." The choreo, was also one of the best things to watch. Choreographed by the well-rounded and talented Dominique Kelley, the choreo captures the era of this show (NYC 1922) well. I loved her choice for a tap number as much as I enjoyed the acrobatic-esque moves she made for the stellar, electric ensemble. All toes were pointed, all legs were extended, and it's clear, or it translated to the audience, that that was a part of the show everyone was confident in.

Sara Chase, who plays Myrtle Wilson deserved so much more stage time. What a fucking voice. Her energy, her lack of empathy for anyone but herself, I mean shit. She was so good. They didn't do her justice, but then again I forgot the Wilson's were even a part of the book until I saw the show again. Two of the dresses she wore (one being a very impressive on stage quick change where a literal rolling clothing hanger like the ones in malls rolls in front of her and when its past her shes in an entirely new dress) looked very baggy and her character's wig was god awful, looking like it was plucked out of an amazon package 10 minutes before curtain. But she was impressive regardless.

The music was pretty entertaining, written by Jason Howland with lyrics by Nathan Tysen. The songs "New Money," "The Met" and Gatsby's ballad "Past is Catching Up to Me" were star songs and have been stuck in my head for days. The ending of Act I "My Green Light" which has been teased on all of GG's social media accounts was as good as it sounded. There is no doubt that Jordan and Noblezada will go down in history as two of the most impressive singers on Broadway.

If you have the chance to see it, I think you should. Not for more than, like $150 with the way ticket prices are but it's definitely worth the music, set and Samantha Pauly.

Best part though? Every seat was given a mini copy of the book. My seat, however, apparently had the only signed copy of the book in the theater. So, thats pretty fucking sick.

Until next show,

Dramatic Gazzette

[boysthatlove]

Bed Friend, Chains of Heart and Love Syndrome III

Right now does expect to hear from me for at least three hours on a Saturday afternoon because these shows have me in a chokehold.

BedFriend EP 7

I have mentioned before that BedFriend will have us in chokehold and I haven't been wrong yet and I am very thankful that they extended from the original 8 to 10 episode. This recent episode, didn't really do much for me but the episode was necessary to set up the climax of the story/show.

This is what I will say as if we don't already know, Mom, Stepdad, and boss, all trash. Not just what they did to Uea, but the fact that everything that they are doing/ have done is alright and feel they are entitled to anything that belongs to Uea (Money, body, etc.)

Jade, the best friend we all dream about having and it will be nice to see him get the love and attention he deserves. ( I would really like to see how they will change the story, considering Middleman is before BedFriend).

Now, King...sigh King is fumbling the ball and Uea is also not making it easy for him. Since we are not seeing the POV of King, we don't know what is actually going on with those arranged dates. We know he likes, better yet loves Uea, we are just not seeing him step up to the plate and let his mother know that he wants to be with someone else.

I do believe that episode 8 will be good and hope a lot of things will right itself.

Chains of Heart Ep 7

First thing first, this show is being slept on and I am not sure why there isn't enough people either watching it or talking about.

Chemistry of the two male leads, top tier, off the charts, I really hope to see them in another series moving forward if not more. Production quality is pretty good and I have notice that they used some of the same locations as KinnPorsche; honorable mention the actor who played Kinn's father also plays Ken's father. For a 10 episode series, I am not a big fan of how it is paced, it would be nice to read the book for comparison and I'm kind of tired of waiting for everything to be reveled.

On with the episode, if you get a chance to watch, you will have a pretty good understanding of what I am speaking about. Do yourself the favor and watch it!

I mentioned before, their chemistry together, Chef's kiss. But them as individual actors, I believe they play their characters really. Ken, two years later can't get over the love of his life and Peter Lue, he is helpless in the love he has for Ken. The longing you see and you hear and you feel, it is overwhelming to watch and I can't help but feel for Peter because until Ken officially lets go of past love, Peter is in a zone that has no name. To put Peter in the friendzone would be an insult.

Ken has great people in his life due to his past love Din, they all very smart and very protective of Ken and this pretty much I can say without spoiling any more of the series. I hope that the last 3 episodes gives the show the justice that it is currently not getting.

Love Syndrome III Ep 5

How would I describe this series: It is a train wreak that you can't help but watch.

As someone who has read the first two books and has watched Unforgotten Night, they could have waited and made the show with better quality. Frank as an Ex-GMMer, he should know that your face is your brand and everything that you do should be of quality. I understand that he went into the military and had to cut his hair. While they were waiting for his hair to grow back, because Brick/Itt's hair is slightly longer, Long and Frank could have gone through longer workshops to build better chemistry. (Shame on the person who felt that it was alright to have Frank in that wig) Yes, I understand that they are both attractive, but it can't do much if you can't act or better yet, act with each other.

For a 12 episode series, the pacing is fine. I really don't feel that they are doing the source material justice. Author was right not to give TV/Films rights for the first two books because WOW. I hope and pray that they never make series for Nan and Mac.

I don't know how I feel about Night and Gear just yet. I am not a big fan of the actors who play Kamol and Kim, I understand that the characters' ages are older, but they could have found more attractive actors with better chemistry within the necessary age range. Plus the hat and sunglasses they had Khun Kamol wearing didn't help.

I know I was supposed to talk about episode 5, but everything I just mentioned gives you an idea of my thoughts on the episode. As stated it is a train wreak and I will continue to watch.

[aurorawest]

Reading update:

AHH. So good. I read Timothy Janovsky’s first book in this series, Never Been Kissed, and while I enjoyed it, I didn’t love it. I loved this one. It’s about a spoiled rich boy (the titular Matthew Prince), who gets sent away to the small town where his mother was raised. There, he meets Hector, who also turns out to be his roommate (Hector is staying with Matthew’s grandparents because he can’t afford housing at the university in town). Obviously, Matthew learns to be less selfish and entitled, and he falls in love with Hector, and everything is adorable and wonderful. 5 stars.

This one was...alright. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. Barista and rock star fall in love, overcome obstacles to be together, the standard. The barista is interesting because he’s at university but has a very young daughter with his best friend, because they got drunk and slept together, despite him being fully aware he’s gay. So he’s laser focused on school and work so he can send money back to them and also finish uni on time, so the friend can take her turn with her education. The MC’s posh family is also homophobic, and I always enjoy a good putting-the-homophobic-family-in-their-place scene. The main problem with this book is that it needed better editing. It just could have been a lot tighter. And some of the jokes fell flat, like...I felt like I was kind of missing something? It was probably funnier in Hayden Stone’s head.

This is the second in the Logan, Minnesota series. This one takes place a year after the first and focused on one of the side characters from the first, Arthur. I was...concerned, because it’s made abundantly clear in Let it Snow (the first book) that Arthur is very into BDSM. Since that can be one of my squicks, I was iffy on this book. Also Arthur was obnoxious in the first book. I ended up liking it a lot. Arthur, unsurprisingly, is less obnoxious in his own book, and I really liked Gabriel, the town library who he falls in love with. There are some BDSM elements but quite mild, so it didn’t squick me.

This was more of a novella, about a guy trying to get home for Christmas. A winter storm shuts down flights all across the country, and by the time it occurs to him to rent a car, all the rental cars are gone too...but then the person who got the very last rental car walks up to the desk and it turns out...the main character knows him! They went to high school together, and they clearly have History. A road trip ensues and of course they get together. Considering how short this book was, there was a lot of sex. Which was fine lol. You know, good for them. Again, fine, but not amazing.

Oh, and honestly, I’m pretty sure it’s the same person kissing himself on the cover?? I’ve spent too long staring at it at this point.

Roan Parrish is really turning into one of my favorite authors. I’m asking you to ignore the incredibly cheesy cover and that tagline on it. This book is about a man, Adam, who adopted his sister’s child, and eventually his partner (it’s unclear if they were married) is like, nah, I’m not interested in this. So Adam and his daughter, Gus, return to the town Adam is from—Garnet Run, WY (this is the third in the Garnet Run series). Their neighbor is this weirdo, Wes, who only comes out at night and never talks to anyone. Gus breaks into his house because she sees something interesting and is extremely taken with all his pets, especially his tarantula (Bettie). Adam is obviously horrified by his daughter’s behavior, but Gus can’t take a hint, and she keeps bugging Wes. Adam and Wes obviously end up falling in love.

The ostensible plot of this book is that because Gus is sad about her other dad abandoning her (and he legit does), Adam asks her what she wants for Christmas, and she says for their house to have the most Christmas lights ever. And it’s fine, it works, it causes the wedge between Adam and Wes before their inevitable HEA—but the characters in this book were just, ahhhh. Lovely. I loved them. We got to see Charlie and Rye from the previous book, which was fun, and River, who is Adam’s sibling, had a pretty decent role. Wes’s background and the reason he’s the way he is is pretty sad, but it worked really well, and I loved how enthusiastic and sensitive Adam was. I even loved Gus! A child character! So yeah, I recommend this one. 5 stars.

The third in the Logan, Minnesota series. This one focuses on the third friend in the trio from the first book, Paul. What we mainly know about Paul going into this book is that he was friends with benefits with Arthur, but really, he wanted a relationship—and when it became clear he wasn’t going to get one with Arthur, he moved out of their shared cabin. Turns out Paul is very shy and desperately loves Hallmark holiday movies, because everything turns out okay in the end, and that’s what he wants. He can’t find a man who wants to settle down and also his family is completely horrible and thinks him being gay is a phase (he’s 38).

His love interest is Kyle, who is 25 and has had a crush on Paul since middle school. I love an age gap romance so right away this one kind of became my favorite in the series. There’s a lot of angsting about the age gap at first (by Paul). What I liked a lot about this one was that these two guys really really want to be with someone, and they’re looking for a partner to settle down with. It was a change from the first two books.

Another Roan Parrish novel. This one has actually been in my TBR pile for months, and I didn’t realize it was a holiday book until recently. It’s very different from what she usually writes, but was absolutely gorgeous. Really lyrical and magical. It’s about Alex, a baker, and Corbin, a very strange man who lives in Alex’s Michigan hometown. Corbin is intensely, heartbreakingly lonely, because he’s been told all his life that his family is cursed, and that anyone they fall in love with will die within a year. So he doesn’t let himself get close to anyone.

Highly highly recommend this one. Definitely a 5 star read.

More Fence. Nothing really to say about it, it’s a bunch of pretty, gay boys fencing.

I’m just going to copy my review from Storygraph here, and it does contain spoilers, so if you want to read this book (please don’t, it was so bad), I guess don’t read my review:

Where to begin with this book. I'm a fan of Simmons' work—Hyperion is possibly my favorite book ever, and I really enjoyed the much-maligned The Terror. First off, I actually liked the mountain-climbing detail. Yes, it was long and technical, but that was the strongest part of the book. I probably would have given it a 3.5 star rating if not for the final section. I guess Simmons wanted to write a WWII book and a Mount Everest book, and for some reason he thought it would be a good idea to make them into the same book. The big twist is that a whole bunch of people died (and climbed Mt Everest) for photographic evidence that Hitler had sex with young boys—and we find out in the epilogue that the threat of this getting out stops Hitler from invading the UK in 1941. Absurd. Absolutely absurd. I was actually laughing. This book was written pre-2016, so I guess it wasn't as painfully obvious that people can do horrible things and still rise to and stay in power, but I couldn't suspend my disbelief. Also, Winston Churchill is in it, because of course he is. And Lawrence of Arabia and Charlie Chaplin show up. Why? Who knows! Why not. Literally the only reason I'm giving this book 1 star instead of like, 0.25 stars is because Yetis may have saved the main character from the Nazis.

And this was not in my Storygraph review but I keep thinking about it—if Hitler didn’t want these photos getting out so badly, couldn’t Churchill have, idk, stopped the whole war? And the Holocaust? As my wife put it, Mr Simmons, I am vexed by the gaping plot hole in your novel.

UGH

Current read/palate cleanser:

This is another one set in Logan, MN, but is part of a new series. I haven’t actually started reading it yet but just looking at it is soothing me after reading the trash fire that was The Abominable.

[marielaa-usher-blog]

Barbie

I finally watched Barbie and wanted to share my thoughts here. So, my sister saw this movie before me and was fascinated by the feminist message the movie supposedly had.

Now, I took this with a grain of salt.

My sister is six years younger and she`s currently going through this phase of "all men are idiots, all girls are the best thing in the world" that I think most of us girls go through. I was curious if this movie really had that message or if she was just looking too much into it.

Now, the movie definitely tried to give a message about feminism but not the way she says it did. At least in my opinion.

So, as you know if you read my previous posts, Im not great at recaps so Ill just talk about what I like and what I didn`t.

What I liked

We all know that Barbie has been an icon for decades. Most of us grew up playing with Barbies and watching her legendary movies but by far my favorite Barbie content comes from the online show Barbie Life in The Dreamhouse and let me tell you why.

I love the concept of Barbie and everyone in this show being fully aware that they`re dolls. They even make jokes about it like Stacie complaining over not being able to make a campfire with two plastic sticks.

I was so happy that the movie took that concept of Barbie being real but a doll at the same time.

I also love that they took the same approach with Ken. In Life in The Dreamhouse, Ken is completely obsessed with Barbie, so much so that in one episode he tried to look for a job while Barbie was too busy to pay attention to him but ended up failing cause he could sense when Barbie needed him and ran to help her out. Then he realized that his perfect job was Barbie`s boyfriend.

He had nothing but adoration for his girl and I`m here for it.

Ryan Gossling played him so well that I genuinely felt bad that Barbie didn`t have feelings for him.

And thats my biggest take in here. I know that saying this might be controversial and many are going to hate me but, for me, the star of this movie was Ken. In fact, all the Kens stole the show.

Another amazing part of Life in the Dreamhouse was the rivalry between Ken and Ryan for Barbie`s attention. Here we have Ken (Ryan Gossling) vs Ken (Simu Liu) doing the same. I loved it.

They`re just two goofballs being goofy and it looks like both of them had a blast playing Ken.

I also liked how they structured Ken`s (Ryan Gossling) development.

At the beginning of the movie, we see this stereotypical good-looking blond guy. The only thing in his head is to impress his Barbie because thats what hes supposed to do. Unfortunately, Barbie doesnt seem interested in being more than friends which makes him feel insecure about himself.

Then, in the real world, we see him starting to gain some confidence once he realizes that the real world is mostly controlled by men unlike Barbieland and this gives him the idea to bring patriarchy to his world.

This makes him a stereotypical jerk that feels that hes entitled to adoration from all the Barbies just because hes a man. Toxic masculinity at it`s finest.

But we can also see that hes not happy about it. He doesn`t want to be part of the patriarchy, he just wants respect and a purpose in life and I honestly felt so much sympathy for him.

In the end, he tells Barbie that he feels hes nothing without her. He was created to be Barbie`s partner, nothing more. If it wasnt for her, he wouldn`t exist. This is when Barbie told him that he could be anything he wanted because he was Kenough (see what I did there?)

This was the best character development for me and I`ll explain to you why in a little.

Another amazing performance was Michael Cera as Allan.

Theres only one Allan and I'm a fan.

Allan is just a poor bystander in all of this.

He is trapped in Barbieland without a real purpose other than being Kens friend. And we are not even talking about Ryan Gossling`s Ken.

Allan is just every Kens friend and somehow hates all of them since most of the time he is alone. He even tries to escape Barbieland after the Kens take over.

He was hilarious without trying.

Now, let`s talk about Barbie aka Margot Robbie.

She did a fabulous job as Barbie. She was funny and cute when she needed to but she also was able to show darker emotions like sadness and anxiety.

I genuinely liked her character until she came back from the real world.

I loved the argument they made for Barbie. For years, Barbie has been attacked for being a "bad influence" on little girls. I`ll always take it personally.

Im a bit ashamed to admit this. Most girls got inspiration from Barbie to be big things like astronauts, scientists, doctors but that wasn`t the case with me.

Now, my goal wasn`t to be a tall, skinny blond superficial girl either.

My favorite thing to do with my Barbies was play with a little toy supermarket and bedroom set I got as a gift. That was one of my dreams.

Being able to go to the store, buy whatever I wanted with my own money and take it to my house in my cute red car. Those Barbies were who I wanted to be.

Driving my own car, owning my house, doing everything Barbie did on her own.

I love that they defended Barbie`s contribution to society. Teaching girls that you can be whatever you want is an amazing message.

I adore the sets for the movie. The Barbie aesthetic is definitely there.

The pastel colors looked nice, and, while I prefer the animated version of the dream house, I like that all of the houses look like they`re toys.

Like I said before, I love that they fully committed to the toy narrative and aesthetic. And the fashion in this movie is so iconic. I loved it.

Also, I want to give some love to the most underrated song in the movie. I know everyone loves "Barbie World" and "Dance the Night" but I feel like "What I was made for" by Billie Eilish is being overlooked.

It's a super emotional song. I´ve actually cried while hearing it because sometimes I also don't know what I was made for. I wished we heard more of it during the movie, especially when Barbie and Ken were questioning their existence.

Meh

This is where I talk about things that I didn´t like or love but I didn´t hate them.

I was okay with America Ferrera´s character, Grace. She gave a good speech about the pressure it meant to be a mom and a woman.

I also appreciate that she spoke for older generations that grew up with Barbie and understood that Barbie was more than just a doll for many of us.

But that´s about it.

We kind of see some deepness in her character, like she was struggling with her teenage daughter and job but the thing is that there are so many characters and storylines in this movie that we didn´t really focus on developing it more or at least showing it. They just told us she was struggling and that was that.

I didn´t go crazy for the weird Barbie character. Again, she was an okay character for me.

She clearly wasn´t meant as a main character, she was just like a vehicle to take Barbie from point A to point B. She told her how to solve her problems when her feet flattened and started to have thoughts about dying, she helped her and Gloria find a way to save Barbieland from the Kens.

Also, I did like that she was trying to save Barbieland before Barbie came back. She wasn´t just hanging around waiting for something to happen, she was trying to talk some sense into some Barbies.

Barbie starting to feel insecure about herself once she entered the real world was a nice detail but they didn´t elaborate on that.

She felt sad and anxious but forgot about it a couple of minutes later. It was weird.

What I didn´t like

Like I said before. for me, the best part of the movie was the Kens. They stole the show.

At the beginning, I was living for all the Barbies in this movie. Barbieland was a world completely ran by Barbies. Barbies were in the goverment. flew airplanes, travelled to space. I loved it.

But that love went away as the movie progressed.

Barbieland was awesome but none of the Barbies had a personality.

They were doctors, astronauts, and writers but that was it. They had nothing else going for them.

And the movie pointed this out without realizing it.

When Ken came back to Barbieland, and he started the patriarchy, it was incredibly easy for him to convince the Barbies to be submissive. It honestly felt insulting how easily he brought down the entire government and a bunch of powerful women.

Now, the movie tries to explain it like basically the Barbies never had anyone opposing their ways so they never learned how to fight back to different ideas but even then it just shows that the Barbies are just a bunch of airheads. Basically, filling the stereotype that Barbies only teach you that being pretty is the most important thing in the world.

I found it so weird that they added this narrative because, during the whole movie, we are told that Barbies are superior beings. They are smart, beautiful, and their world is perfect because of that.

And it wasn´t hard to convince them to change their mind either. Barbie. Grace, Sasha, and Weird Barbie just took them away, told them some feminist phrases and that was it. Back to normal.

It was weird how it was so progressive but backward at the same time.

Sasha is Grace´s daughter. She´s in her teenage years, rebelling, hating everything traditional, and being mean to her mom.

I hated her.

She was mean to her mom and Barbie and even when she changed her opinion on Barbie and her world she still rubbed me the wrong way. That´s everything I have to say about her.

As I mentioned before, for some reason this movie has a bunch of storylines going on at the same time.

Our first conflict is that Barbie´s life changed. She´s starting to feel human emotions, her feet are flat and she starts to look more like a human. Okay, that´s a good argument. let´s find out what is happening.

Then, we hear about Weird Barbie and she´s painted as this figure that the rest of the Barbies hate and make fun of. Again, a good storyline for Barbie to meet her and find out what´s going on with her.

Weird Barbie tells her that the girl that´s playing with her is having issues and she needs to go into the real world to find her. Once again, that´s a good storyline but that´s when everything goes everywhere.

Barbie keeps becoming more human and gets disappointed after seeing that the real world is nothing like Barbieland. Then, she just forgets about that for a second since she magically knows where to find Sasha, the girl she thought she was looking for.

At the same time, the executives at Mattel find out that Barbie and Ken were walking around the real world and went out to get her.

I found it interesting. Now we have a new villain and I thought that from now on, the Mattel executives were the enemy to beat.

Basically, by the time Barbie went back to Barbieland with Gloria and Sasha, we had conflicts going on. Barbie was still feeling terrible, Barbieland was dominated by the Kens, Sasha still hated the whole thing and the Mattel executives were going to Barbieland to take Gloria and her daughter and "fix" the issue with the Kens.

Here´s the thing. THE MATTEL EXECUTIVES DID NOTHING IN THE MOVIE. NOTHING. You could completely take them out and the movie would´ve ended up the same.

They were fillers, just something to give some time to cook up Ken´s plan.

To be fair, they tried to be funny and smart by pointing out that Mattel´s biggest product was made for girls but there were no women there. Not smart commentary but hey, they tried.

And once again, besides that comment and a weird chasing scene, they did nothing in the movie.

For a moment, I thought their purpose was to go to Barbieland to take control over all Barbies and Kens and that was why we should be worried but it wasn't the case. They just traveled all the way to Barbieland to appear at the end and agree with everything that happened.

It is also implied that, since Gloria works there, they would give her a better position in the company after her speech but nothing matters because we don´t see her getting it.

There´s something very interesting that was talked about during the whole movie but didn´t make a difference in the end.

Kens don´t matter in Barbieland. Their only purpose is to be there for their Barbies, they don´t even have houses and the Barbies don´t care about it.

That´s why the main Ken did everything he did. After he visited the real world, he realized he didn´t have to be treated that way.

That´s also why he had an identity crisis. He was created to be Barbie´s partner and nothing else. Since she kept rejecting him, he had no purpose.

I thought that the ending of the movie was going to be that Barbies and Kens realized the best way to live was doing it together.

Many seemed to forget that the main point behind feminism is not that girls are better than boys. Girls are as capable as boys and that´s why we should be treated equally. This movie doesn´t give a damn about that.

In the end, after the Barbies take back control, the Kens admit that they didn´t like having patriarchy, some missed their Barbies and they wanted to be something more than boy toys, even asking if they could be part of the government. What was the Barbies response? Yeah, maybe, we´ll see but probably not.

And that was it. All the drama for nothing because that was not the freaking ending.

I thought that the ending was going to be Barbie and the rest working together to change Barbieland and make it better for everyone.

But no.

The ending was Barbie asking to live in the real world.

I don´t know why. We don´t really see her being happy there or having a life-changing event that shows us that she wanted it, she just decided that she was going be human and you better like that cause feminism.

The movie was just all over the place.

I´m assuming they wanted to make a comedic movie with some emotional moments which is fine. A lot of movies do it and it works fine.

Like, Guardians of the Galaxy, they balance the funny and sad scenes very well. Barbie didn´t.

I feel like that´s why the Kens were so appealing. The emotional scenes were bad but the comedy was so good that it was the only thing that stood up for me.

It´s an okay movie. Personally, I wouldn´t watch it again.

Maybe I would watch a compilation of Ken but not the whole movie again.

It wasn´t that entertaining and I felt like the "activism" they claimed to show is just to sell tickets. But I think it´s fine if you liked it.

Barbie and Margot Robbie are icons and deserve love and recognition.

[dokpetra]

I'm 31 (the secret word today was birthday and my closest mates did me the great joyful favor of joining me in SCREEEEEEEEAM every time the secret word was said!!!!! Which was often!!!!!!!!!)

I had a wonderful birthday,

And unfortunately on this day I lost a childhood hero.

The following is me pouring my whole heart out about what the character of Pee Wee means to me.

When I imagine growing up without the delightful presence of Pee Wee Herman, I feel nauseous. I'm not being dramatic or figurative. I mean it hurts, in my guts.

How can I put into words the sheer wonder and glee Pee Wee's art has brought me throughout these 31 years? I couldn't do it justice.

Maybe to start with a smidgen about my own self,

I am, simply put: a relatively tortured soul. I'm not trying to be goth about it or whatever, I'm just genuinely quite wounded and scarred from trauma, as many of us are. It's ugly, stark reality is rarely cute.

Friends, family, community, and (to a much lesser but still notable extent), certain meds and certain limbs of the psychological care industry, saved me from a path of rapid self collapse in my 20s. Up til then and for a long while since, it was in short and simple terms a lot... a lot of internal screaming. Thank the vast beautiful and indifferent universe: there is so much less brain screaming now. How nice is that even just by itself. Exhale with me if you like.

So as a kid who's brain was often screaming, when I say that in 1997, Pee Wee's Playhouse on a crusty rental VHS was an oasis from my reality, I mean that. Like an oasis in a desert. Twas joy incarnate to me: every object in the house is alive. Every object in the house loves you. You and your cuddly chair and your window and your kite and your puppet friends and your machine friends and your toy friends AND your many human friends spend each day laughing screaming and learning together.

Everywhere you look: the house is alive. And the house and everyONE and everyTHING dances in giddy chaotic animation. Compassion abounds and everyone is free to be. And in this house, that includes freedom to be sad, to do your own thing, to be loud, to tell stories and jokes, to work out your problems together, or to stick 5 pencils in a potato to make an animal, it's called being creative!!!!!!!!

Each episode contained one thousand things that didn't happen in the last, and also, each episode followed nearly the same structure and rhythm. A delightful and soothing flux between the novel and the routine.

It is likely no surprise that as I grew up with a burdensome amount of scream-brain, I have and had a tendency toward escapism. What a font of healthy, zany, cathartic, blissful escapism this work was. I laughed with him, screamed with him, and when the chorus-tinted Roland keyboard began and the wall opened up to reveal his souped up scooter, telling the viewer a bit ahead of time that it's time to say goodbye for now, I would cry: would miss him.

As I grew to adulthood Pee Wee always felt like a friend. Pee Wee's Big Adventure, which my mom and her friends saw over and over in the theaters when it came out, (it's her delight to reminisce about when it comes up, and my delight to hear about) has been a staple of my movie nights.

I have heard the cruel words, in my younger years watching vh1 i heard the echoes of his time in the proverbial stocks for what is to me not a misdeed worthy of lifelong public humiliation. I believe the man is entitled to his privacy. I will say no more and entertain no further discussion of that.

Anyway,

How is this for uncanny? Last night on the eve of my birthday, my roommates and I finally, as we had been meaning to for weeks, watched a few episodes of Pee Wee's Playhouse. It had been a couple years for me. I was transported back to some of the happiest moments of my rather fraught childhood. One birthday gift I gave myself this year is to let myself be a weird bitch with ABANDON: I am lifelong weird bitch but I'm talking weird bitch unchained. This is me making clever words about my need to make fucking weird sounds and when I am TOO HAPPY make the TOO HAPPY yells and clap and freak out. It's too much to hold that back. So I celebrated rather autistically! And we laughed and enjoyed it together. I talked sentimentally to my roommates about what the character Pee Wee means to me, how grateful I am that Paul Rubens shared this world of imagination with our generation, and those before and after ours.

So today when another roommate told me the news, it just, kind of, couldn't have been.... realer.

And this is sort of where I lose my words about it- it's still fresh. I am not at all ashamed to say I wept for the passing of a character; of a man behind this character I do not know and never met.

Free Imagination is, to me, the gift Paul Rubens gave to the world; at least, to me. It is a gift needed like water in the world today, and a gift that gives and gives and gives.

There are a blessed small handful of artists whose work truly grabs my mind by the hand and leads it to this safe, endless, and wonderfully unpredictable place. Imagination begets imagination and each person's mind is a universe all their own. I see this gift and I embrace it humbly and with open arms.

I will end here. Pee Wee....

From the bottom of my heart:

Thank you. 🕊🫂😢🧚🤖🐄💐🌺🌏🎡🛴🌞🌜🥸👽🫅🏿🤠🧞‍♂️🚵‍♂️🤹🪐🎉🎈🎀🎁🪁🎱🔮🎨🧶🪩🧿🪄✨️🎆🥀🥀🥀

[the-great-elwisty]

Day 5: First Impressions

A/N. So the game writers probably intended Duncan and Daeghun to have a common father. As far as I know, they never committed it to the game’s text. (And even if they had, I’m a great believer in artistic licence and the power of Handwavium).

While Marnoc hunted for the old goal posts, brown speckled stones about the size of the clenched fists of an adult which they’d mislaid somewhere in the young woodland that backed onto the market gardens, Duncan kicked off his boots and raced into the house. His Da’s wife Sevin looked on him with a kindly eye most days, and with a little shameless flattery and pleading could be persuaded to hand out extra slices of plumbread and glasses of ginger-milk, and besides that could make pancakes in the giant, special frying pan and throw them up into the air almost to the ceiling before catching them nimbly again to let them brown on their other side and had promised to teach him how to do it too, but despite these agreeable features she was unrelenting on the subject of outdoor shoes worn inside, and he had spent what felt like months mopping floors in consequence.

The ball was kept in a cupboard in the kitchen along with lanterns for late suppers out of doors and rolls of string for the seelbry vines and candle stubs and old cloths. As he crossed the broad stone tiles, letting his stocking-clad feet slide silently and pleasantly from grout to grout, he became aware that there was a someone, or someones, in the parlour. It was not that he heard voices; simply, in the same way that he knew when a storm was coming or when dough would fail to raise or when a cask of beer would prove to have gone bad before the seal was cracked, his extra instinct supplied him with the knowledge of space occupied.

It didn’t trouble him, or hugely interest him. Guests often stayed at the old cottage on the northern edge of Neverwinter, and sometimes they were entertaining and told him jokes and showed him new card games and had exciting stories from faraway places, but mostly they sat glumly with his Da and Sevin and droned on about crop prices and what Lord So-and-So would do about the orcs, or not do, and why the latest tolls on the highroad were unfair. Admittedly, visitors in the parlour at this time of day were less usual, yet his curiosity remained unstirred: no stranger could compare with the interest of a game of ball played two-a-side – three-a-side if Marnoc would consent to the girls from up the hill joining in, and despite his friend’s complaints there was every chance he would, since six players was more fun than four every time, even if some of them were girls.

He scooped the fine ball of soft reddish leather into his arms, closed the cupboard door by hopping on one leg and catching the rim with the toes of the foot he held out before him, then continued hopping. In a swell of high spirits, he began whistling his Da’s favourite tune, and that was a mistake.

“Duncan, love?”

Sevin had appeared in the parlour door. She was still in the thick grey trousers and tunic she wore for outdoor work, her hair was held back by a kerchief, and on her feet –

“You haven’t changed your shoes!” he burst out, first feeling exultant that he’d caught an adult out in a flagrant breach of their own rules, and then a little alarmed.

She looked down, seeming surprised to see her clay-smeared gardening clogs, but then looked back at him and smiled faintly. “I know. I had a bit of a shock, you see. It knocked everything out of my head.”

She made it sound very reasonable, and instead of getting a bit of gloating in, which he would have been entitled to do in the circumstances, he span his ball from one hand to the other, and started to hop backwards in the direction of the outer door.

“I’m glad you’re here,” said Sevin. “There’s someone you should meet.”

“But Marnoc’s waiting for me–”

“You won’t be long. And he knows where to look for you. Come on.” She held out her hands for the ball, and he threw it to her without being able to help himself, responding automatically to the challenge of the open palms. It hit them square on, and she tightened her fingers around it. Without waiting to see if he’d follow, she walked back into the parlour.

Well, of course he had to follow now. She had his ball.

The parlour was large for the house, and easily held a table, a bench, two stools and three faded armchairs without seeming crowded. No fire was burning in the hearth, it being Eleint, though fresh logs had been laid ready for the first cold night of the year, or for the first time a guest complained of the cold, for some of the older ones, relatives mostly, were always complaining about something, and occasionally gave presents of sweets and coin to the little boy that tended the fire so vigorously, or who solicitously brought them blankets and hot fruit punch.

Apart from Sevin, there were just two people there today. His Da, sitting in his accustomed place, long legs stretched out before him, leaning a little on his right arm as usual, his luthier’s diamond needle file securely wedged between his middle and forefinger. Instead of the sleepy look that often made Sevin ask if he was off dancing with the fey, there was a raw alertness to him, a hunger in his eyes, that left Duncan feeling uncomfortable.

And then there was the stranger. Whoever it was had their back to the door, so that nothing of their face was visible. They had long black hair down past their shoulders, blacker than the earth on Sevin’s shoes or the soot-covered back wall of the fireplace. They were sitting on a stool although the two free armchairs were invitingly empty, and they sat up so straight that it looked as if an invisible giant was hauling on their shoulders. A quiver and bow rested on the floor next to them, the arrows fletched with goose feathers.

And then without warning the stranger was standing and turning. He found himself looking up at a male elf – a full-blooded elf – with a pinched white face and large green eyes. The elf was dressed from head to toe in well-fitting hunting leathers, and a grey cloak around his shoulders was pinned with a silver brooch cut into the shape of long-winged bird. They were not the expensive kind of clothes that Duncan saw on festival trips into the Blacklake District, not the kind that drew attention to themselves by their magnificence, but he had the idea that they represented another sort of quality, one that the Blacklake peacocks would have struggled to afford or even recognise.

“Is this it?” said the elf in a cool baritone. The pallid face betrayed no expression.

“He is Duncan, yes,” said Sevin.

The elf didn’t reply. He continued staring at Duncan.

“Are you here for one of Da’s instruments?” Duncan asked, trying to be friendly though he hadn’t appreciated being called ‘it’, and hoping to help his family with his sales patter into the bargain. He’d learned about sales patter from Rory just yesterday when they’d been pretending to hunt rakshasas through a Calim bazaar. “I like the mandolins best, though lots of folks come here for the harps. They have thirty-four strings, you know. Do you play the harp? You look like you might do.”

The elf looked as blank if he hadn’t heard Common before. He averted his face from Duncan and began scanning the room. Sevin gave Duncan a small smile, while his Da carried on watching the stranger, not moving from his armchair but still turning the needle file over and over between his fingers.

“She left Arvandor for this?” said the elf, the words leaving sharp edges in the air between them.

“She never told me why she left her home, and I never asked,” said his Da levelly. “Arvandor, you say? The High Forest? I thought as much.” He set the needle file down on the arm of the chair, and leaned back further, his solid frame sinking back into the cushions. “She never went back, afterwards? I thought mebbe…”

“No. She did not,” the elf spoke over his shoulder to Duncan’s Da, the flat negative containing no audible emotion, yet seeming thrown like a knife all the same. Duncan hoped the stranger would ignore him from then on, just as he’d ignored his question about musical instruments, but his luck was out today. The elf refocused on him. “Gi suilon, hên. Ech ion i naneth nîn. Im ion i naneth gîn. Gin anniranen ceni dan ingestin agoren athran.”

The flood of strange rapid noises reminded him of the day that summer he’d got into a fight with a couple of boys strayed from the Beggar’s Nest and had taken one or two blows to the head. For the rest of the day when anyone spoke to him, it had sounded like bees humming meaninglessly in a hive. A healer from the temple had to be called in to fix his ears, in the end. But this elf man hadn’t hit him.

He’s speaking elvish at me, he thought, just as Sevin said, clipped, “Duncan doesn’t know your language. He’s spent his whole life with humans like me and Dail.”

The odd thing was that, as he looked at the elf, his features started seeming a little less strange and angular and alien. The eyes, in particular – he felt that he’d met the person with those green eyes before, though whether he’d liked them or hated them he couldn’t recall. They were someone he’d known long ago, and that was all.

“I can see that he is entirely human,” the elf muttered. Quick as an eel, he bent and scooped up bow and quiver in his left hand. “It was a mistake to come here. Thank you for your hospitality.”

The grey cloak brushed against Duncan’s cheek as its owner left the parlour in quick, tense strides. It smelled of cedar and dried oranges.

A few moments later, he thought he heard the front door being softly closed – but it could just have been a breeze rattling a window shutter.

He looked at his father and stepmother. Now he understood why Sevin had been so shocked that she’d forgotten to take her shoes off in the house. The short exchange with the unsmiling elf had left him utterly bewildered.

“What was that about then?” he asked plaintively, and was glad when it was Sevin who answered him, and not his Da. He didn’t understand why, yet the hunger he’d seen in his father’s normally mild expression made him fear what the man might say.

Sevin sighed. “That was your brother. Your half-brother Daeghun.”