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tragedynatural · 3 years

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Hey I know you posted it like a month ago but I would love a detailed song-by song reasoning/annotations for your Sam/jake mix. If you have time it would be great to hear your thoughts!

anon i've never jumped so hard at the chance to explain my totally normal thought process in depth before. thank you! yes of course! i will try to be as brief as possible! but probably not!

the first caveat i have to give you is that this mix was based mostly on a concept where cold oak lasts for ~2 weeks. so there's time for complicated relationships and despair to set in and a lot of this won't match the like..two days? it takes in the show. also this tracklist might be different from the post. i was editing.

we must be killers (mikky ekko) - "children of the wild ones" - references demon blood and my loose interpretation of what it might feel like to have these burgeoning powers, and then the "killer" refrain is because imo a key part of boyking4boyking is about how they both Know one of them is going to die, probably by the other's hand. also i'm compelled by similarities i see between jake and sam and both have spent their adult lives (hunting, military) being trained to kill. and i think neither of them want to do that, and in this situation they're forced to consider killing their peers..oof. thinking about jake's face when he has to kill ava, thinking about how sam and jake have been in situations where they've needed to kill someone in order to ensure the safety of someone else (in the logic of spn universe's approach to hunting & military)

like real people do (hozier) - this is abt that sense of knowing i was talking about. in the 2 week cold oak au jake and sam both find out from azazel early on how things are supposed to go. and they spend a week not killing each other! but they don't know each other very well and each fears that the other will snap first. "i will not ask why you were creeping / in some sad way i already know" - a sense of like, scorpion-and-frog anticipation that the other's going to turn on you but wanting to prolong the peace before it happens. also this dynamic is a product of a horrible time for them, they know that they probably won't both make it out - the "kiss like real people do" refrain is about an idle wish of like, what would it have been like if we were normal?

damn these vampires (the mountain goats) - i just like this song i think. this was rlly about the atmosphere, capturing the sense of being changed against your will that jake is reckoning with for the first time and sam is still struggling with. also, you know, there's a little bit of a defiant feel to this song. "scream when captured... let this whole town hear your knuckles crack." at this point they think maybe they can refuse to play along with azazel, and that it might be possible to get out anyway.

our time is short (gang of youths) - look, you know, rn they've been here for a ~week? they're not sure if they're ever making it out. the other kids died in the first couple days so it's just jake and sam and i think they're going through 'last 2 people on earth' feelings at warp speed. this is .... a moment of feeling good b/c they know it won't last very long, and there's a bit of last hurrah energy. "so let's drink the best wine now..before lightning strikes us down" etc.

another place (bastille) - the jake/sam connection is a genuine feeling but it's also very much....a foxhole thing to quote bobby. they like each other genuinely but both are aware this is the result of an extraordinary situation. even if they were both getting out alive...they live completely different lives. this song is about, don't make this more than it is because even though maybe we'd both want it to be, it's not attainable.

heavy in your arms (florence + the machine) - "who is the betrayer? / who's the killer in the crowd?" is absolutely my concept for the 2 week cold oak. sam and jake being plagued by dreams from yellow-eyes, and they don't want to suspect or betray the other but. well. they'll be stuck here forever. this is both of them wondering who'll crack first. also "heavy in your arms" is a little foreshadowing for when jake stabs sam and holds him while he bleeds out. thanks!

as the world caves in (matt maltese) - look. they're going to nuke each other up boys till old satan stands impressed...on their final night alive it's YOUUU that i lie with.... this is last few days of peace before Inevitable Conflict as the tension hits a peak. it's about "i like you and i care for you and i know eventually one of us is going to kill the other but i can't be the person to pick up the knife first. so every night i sleep across the fire from you and hope you fall asleep before i do." and azazel is there.

no one would riot for less (bright eyes) - "everything is eclipsed / by the shape of destiny" - the fact that the lives of the special children have been counting down to this moment! their hopes, dreams, personal morals, affections for others are eclipsed by fate baby! inescapable! the whole "little soldier" section is again about how both of them have been made into weapons to fight for various causes, and now they're being. pitted against each other. "love me now / hell is coming" and "help me out / hell is coming / could you do it now / hell is here" is obviously about them knowing shit is going to go down soon and also this sense of like. just kill me if you're going to. don't prolong the inevitable.

have to explode (the mountain goats) - similar theme here, feeling like you're counting down to the inevitable - "the stage is set / someone's going to do something someone else will regret" sam and jake are pieces in a plan that's been in motion for years and everyone's just waiting for them to buckle down and play the role. "the fuse will have to run out sometime / something here will eventually have to explode" - dean only finds sam once sam's been stabbed and jake has 'won'. if no victor emerges they stay here until one does, and they know that they can't hold out forever.

tusk (fleetwood mac) - i put this on every playlist sorry about me! also it's, okay, jake wakes up in the night to see sam stuck in a nightmare and he knows the demon's visiting both of them. what's it saying to him, he thinks, what's sam going to do? this is about creeping dread, and this sense that the person you're with maybe knows something you don't. that they're planning to betray you, that they already have. and musically the frantic melody and vocalization just ups the tension.

bite the hand (boygenius) - jake's pov. sam is the one who pushes for a truce and holding out for another option out of cold oak, and jake is on board. at first. but as time kicks on he realizes that there's no other option whereas sam is still a little bit in denial. so the "i can't love you how you want me to / i'll bite the hand that feeds me / you want what i can't give to you / who do you think you are / who do you think i am / maybe i'm afraid of you" - is about him doing a heel turn where he realizes like, i can't do this (stay indefinitely here to find a dubiously-real other way out for a guy i just met) and sam can't do it either, and one of us is going to snap, and i'm afraid it'll be sam first.

i bet on losing dogs (mitski) - sam's perspective on ^ - he does know how it's going to end but he can't quite. give up on hoping that it won't. he doesn't kill jake when he has the chance. he must know jake'll kill him if he's not dead or knocked unconscious, but he hopes. that he won't. anyway. and he's wrong. he knows he'll be wrong, i think he can sense that jake is doing a heel turn but also, they're getting played by azazel who's planting seeds of doubt and they're stuck in this depressing place alone, and sam's not sure how much he can trust himself. he's betting on losing dogs.

samson (regina spektor) - "you are my sweetest downfall / i loved you first" - jake's pov on a guy he genuinely likes who he knows he's going to kill. before the fight & the cemetery they cared for each other. "we couldn't bring the columns down / we couldn't destroy a single one" - in the end trying to hold out against azazel does nothing, the gate opens, the apocalypse happens. it's futile. and the story never mentions jake or cold oak again - i think the fact that sam tried to like, help & protect the special kids & then had to watch andy, ava, and lily die, & then jake tried to kill him, & he had to kill jake is like. pretty fucked up. those are the last people like him on this earth man he was 23!

heaven or hell (digital daggers) - vibes! also: "i’ve got the same deep wounds as you / my love can double as a weapon too" - jake and sam's similarities are so key to me. either one of them could have been the person to turn first. i'm anti-trying to make jake into a bad guy for stabbing sam! he wanted to go home! "show me the side no one else sees / turn it back on me" - what's it like for sam to be around other special kids? does he feel more normal or less than he does with dean? thinking about that "it doesn't matter if we believe it only matters that they do" scene- SO interesting! what a cool moment of jake and sam connecting on a level of both being leaders, both knowing what a lose-lose situation looks like, both knowing how to keep the hope alive, and do what has to be done. of course this is also the trait that leads to jake killing sam / sam killing jake. they're the same.

old college try (the mountain goats) - this is specifically like, night before jake stabs sam. he knows he's going to kill sam by now. "i want to say i'm sorry for stuff i haven't done yet / things will shortly get completely out of hand" - jake thinking about this last like, goodbye. and "i will walk down to the end with you / if you will come all the way down with me" - seeing it through till the end, sam has a burgeoning sense of something wrong.

it seemed the better way (leonard cohen)- again i literally just put this one on everything i can. also you know, it's jake thinking about listening to azazel and killing sam. it seemed like the better way then, but now, when azazel's threatened his family and he realizes he can't get out of it, it's too late to go back in time and do it differently. he has to obey azazel + play along. "i better hold my tongue / i better take my place / lift this glass of blood / try to say the grace". yes i know this is about religion i'm not trying to make light of the song i just think. i'm squinting okay.

don't let me be misunderstood (nina simone) - LISTEN! JAKE'S INTENTIONS ARE GOOD. this is like, meeting in the cemetery and sam is alive and they both know what's passed between them and what can never be and where it has to go now, and jake's thinking "just remember that i'm not evil. just remember i have a family that i wanted to come back to like you, don't let where this went eclipse the fact that you cared about me, that you know i'm a good person." it's also me holding a large stick and pointing it at everyone in supernatural so that they remember that he did nothing wrong.

say goodbye (fleetwood mac) - okay bear with me. in my version. of cold oak jake doesn't get killed by sam. he kills azazel and sam and dean let him go. this is a retrospective on the whole thing for both of them. "i let you slip away / there was nothing I could do / that was so long ago, yeah / still I often think of you" and "so don't let it get you down / just a time within a time / just a scheme within a scheme / a little world within a world / yes, a dream, just a dream" are the thesis lyrics for this song. cold oak's done, azazel's nuked, back to the real world now. it's a bitter way to say goodbye to a person you cared about after they killed you/you killed them, even though you both sort of. expected it to go that direction. by this point i was just like IT FEELS RIGHT (adds to playlist).

#THIS IS SO LONG? i've never felt more charlie_day_pepe_silvia.png in my life #anon. i...this is a little deranged. i hope it was what you were looking for #mevoice why don't i make a playlist chiefly about an au that i will never finish or post!#boyking4boyking #long post #if this shows up without a readmore on mobile i'm so desperately sorry

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aboveallarescuer · 4 years

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Dany being self-critical or at least self-aware

As I was rereading ASOIAF, I made it my goal to compile all* the book passages demonstrating either certain key attributes of Daenerys Targaryen (e.g. that she's compassionate and smart) or aspects of hers that are usually overstated (e.g. that she's ambitious and prophecy-driven). Doing such a task may seem exaggerated, but I'd argue it's not, for many, many misconceptions about Dany have become widespread in light of the show's final season's events (and even before).

It must be acknowledged that it can be tricky to reference, say, ADWD passages to counter-argument how she was depicted in season eight (which allegedly follows ADOS events). Dany will have had plenty of character development in the span of two books. However, whatever happens to Dany in the next two books, I would argue that there is more than enough material to conclude that her show counterpart was made to fall for flaws that she (for the most part) never had and actions that she (for the most part) would never take. (and that's not even considering the double standards and the contradictions with what had been shown from show!Dany up until then, but that's obviously out of the scope of these lists)

Another objection to the purpose of these lists is that Game of Thrones is different from A Song of Ice and Fire and should be analyzed on its own, which is a fair point. However, the show is also an adaptation of these books, which begs the questions: why did they change Dany's character? Why did they overfocus on negative traits of hers or depicted them as negative when they weren't supposed to be or gave her negative traits that were never hers to begin with? Another fact that undermines the show=/=books argument is that most people think that the show's ending will be the books', albeit only in broad strokes and in different circumstances. As a result, people's perception of Dany is inevitably influenced by the show, which is a shame.

I hope these lists can be useful for whoever wants to find book passages to defend (or even simply explore different facets of) Dany's character in metas or conversations.

*Well, at least all the passages that I could find in her chapters, which is no guarantee that the effort was perfectly executed, but I did my best.

Also, people could interpret certain passages differently and then come up with a different collection of passages if they ever attempted to make one, so I'm not saying that this list is completely objective (nor that there could ever be one).

Also, some passages have been cut short according to whether they were, IMO, relevant to the specific topic of the list they're in, so the context surrounding them may not always be clear (always read the books and use asearchoficeandfire). Many of them appear in different lists, sometimes fully referenced, sometimes not.

I listed the passages back to front because I felt doing so highlighted Dany's evolution better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To justify the existence of this list, let's see examples of widespread opinions that I feel misrepresent Daenerys Targaryen:

[I]f you are the person who has freed countless souls from chains -- when all those people never imagined freedom was a possibility -- you would feel you know better than everyone else what is best for them. (The Take)

And for Dany, the whole concept of "breaking the wheel" was always just about her taking more power so that she could dispense what she believed to be justice. It's a truly terrifying megalomania and one that I think she's had all along, we just didn't always see it. (x)

She wants to rule with love, not fear.

It doesn’t always go that way for her. And when it doesn’t — when the people she would rule don’t adore her — she tends to react fiercely. (x)

But Dany’s arc is not contrived or “coming out of nowhere” or “out of character”. This is precisely the character that she has shown herself to be from as far back as season two. She has made selfish and rash decisions one after another. She has failed to recognize the larger picture and the true needs of the people around her more times than can be chalked up to “youthful” mistakes. The seeds have been laid, the decisions have been made, and her thoughtlessness towards others and zeal for her own destiny have distorted her intentions. (x)

Dany’s true downfall is one of ego, impulse control and rage – and that is a human story, not a gendered story. She has become obsessed with destiny. It seems she doesn’t even have one except in helping set up others, more deserving, to lead. This certainly shows the folly of ego, presumption and dominion without listening and learning. (x)

She always has had a tyrant in the making kind of vibe. In addition to mass genocide, what do tyrants have in common? They all have a big ego, which needs to be massaged every now and then. Noticed how often Danny [sic] tells the story about the time she broke the chains and slaves rose up against their masters? It’s the narcissist in her, who not only loved it when people took her name as she passed through the crowd in Meereen after murdering the masters, but continues to tell that story to boost her own ego. (x)

Does Dany "[feels] [she] know[s] better than everyone else what is best for them"? Does Dany have a "truly terrifying megalomania"? Does Dany tend to "react fiercely" "when the people she would rule don’t adore her"? Are Dany's decisions "selfish and rash" in nature? Does Dany have problems with "ego, impulse control, rage, presumption and dominion without listening and learning"? Is Dany a "tyrant in the making" with a "narcissist in her" whose ego "needs to be massaged every now and then"?

I would argue these claims certainly cannot be made after reading the books (some can't even after watching the show's first 71 episodes, but the show can be all over the place and ... I digress), so take a look at these passages.

A Dance with Dragons

ADWD Daenerys X

Her tokar and veils she had abandoned in the pit, and her linen undertunic had never been made to withstand the hot days and cold nights of the Dothraki sea. Sweat and grass and dirt had stained it, and Dany had torn a strip off the hem to make a bandage for her shin. I must look a ragged thing, and starved, she thought, but if the days stay warm, I will not freeze.

Dany did not need a glass to know that she was filthy.

Once I dreamed of flying, she thought, and now I’ve flown, and dream of stealing eggs. That made her laugh. “Men are mad and gods are madder,” she told the grass, and the grass murmured its agreement.

If I stay here, I will die. I may be dying now. Would the horse god of the Dothraki part the grass and claim her for his starry khalasar, so she might ride the nightlands with Khal Drogo? In Westeros the dead of House Targaryen were given to the flames, but who would light her pyre here? My flesh will feed the wolves and carrion crows, she thought sadly, and worms will burrow through my womb.

You took Meereen, he told her, yet still you lingered. “To be a queen.”

You are a queen, her bear said. In Westeros. “It is such a long way,” she complained. “I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl.”

Dany, starved, slid off his back and ate with him, ripping chunks of smoking meat from the dead horse with bare, burned hands. In Meereen I was a queen in silk, nibbling on stuffed dates and honeyed lamb, she remembered. What would my noble husband think if he could see me now? Hizdahr would be horrified, no doubt. But Daario ...

Daario would laugh, carve off a hunk of horsemeat with his arakh, and squat down to eat beside her.

ADWD Daenerys IX

Soon Dany was as clean as she was ever going to be.

How queer, the queen thought. They cheer me on the same plaza where I once impaled one hundred sixty-three Great Masters.

The day she wed Khal Drogo, the arakhs had flashed at her wedding feast, and men had died whilst others drank and mated. Life and death went hand in hand amongst the horselords, and a sprinkling of blood was thought to bless a marriage. Her new marriage would soon be drenched in blood. How blessed it would be.

“I suppose I must be thankful for small victories,” the queen said.

“One step, then the next, and soon we shall be running. Together we shall make a new Meereen.” The street ahead had finally cleared. “Shall we continue on?”

What could she do but nod? One step, then the next, but where is it I’m going?

Her lord husband stood and raised his hands. “Great Masters! My queen has come this day, to show her love for you, her people. By her grace and with her leave, I give you now your mortal art. Meereen! Let Queen Daenerys hear your love!”

Ten thousand throats roared out their thanks; then twenty thousand; then all. They did not call her name, which few of them could pronounce. “Mother!” they cried instead; in the old dead tongue of Ghis, the word was Mhysa! They stamped their feet and slapped their bellies and shouted, “Mhysa, Mhysa, Mhysa,” until the whole pit seemed to tremble. Dany let the sound wash over her. I am not your mother, she might have shouted, back, I am the mother of your slaves, of every boy who ever died upon these sands whilst you gorged on honeyed locusts. Behind her, Reznak leaned in to whisper in her ear, “Magnificence, hear how they love you!”

No, she knew, they love their mortal art.

Pale Qartheen, black Summer Islanders, copper-skinned Dothraki, Tyroshi with blue beards, Lamb Men, Jogos Nhai, sullen Braavosi, brindle-skinned half-men from the jungles of Sothoros—from the ends of the world they came to die in Daznak’s Pit.

“Magnificence, the people of Meereen have come to celebrate our union. You heard them cheering you. Do not cast away their love.”

“It was my floppy ears they cheered, not me. Take me from this abbatoir, husband.”

In Westeros the septons spoke of seven hells and seven heavens, but the Seven Kingdoms and their gods were far away. If she died here, Dany wondered, would the horse god of the Dothraki part the grass and claim her for his starry khalasar, so she might ride the nightlands beside her sun-and-stars? Or would the angry gods of Ghis send their harpies to seize her soul and drag her down to torment?

[...] In the smoldering red pits of Drogon’s eyes, Dany saw her own reflection. How small she looked, how weak and frail and scared. I cannot let him see my fear.

ADWD Daenerys VIII

No queen has clean hands, Dany told herself. She thought of Doreah, of Quaro, of Eroeh … of a little girl she had never met, whose name had been Hazzea. Better a few should die in the pit than thousands at the gates. This is the price of peace, I pay it willingly. If I look back, I am lost.

You saw me as defeated, Dany thought, and who am I to say that you were wrong?

“...Never trust a sellsword.”

Or a queen, thought Dany.

“The dragon has three heads,” Dany said when they were on the final flight. “My marriage need not be the end of all your hopes. I know why you are here.”

“For you,” said Quentyn, all awkward gallantry.

“No,” said Dany. “For fire and blood.”

Her voice echoed off the scorched stone walls. It sounded small—a girl’s voice, not the voice of a queen and conqueror, nor the glad voice of a new-made bride.

She could hear the dragons screaming as she led the boy back to the door, and see the play of light against the bricks, reflections of their fires. If I look back, I am lost.

I should never have taken him into my bed. He was only a sellsword, no fit consort for a queen, and yet …

I knew that all along, but I did it anyway.

“My queen?” said a soft voice in the darkness.

Dany flinched. “Who is there?”

“Only Missandei.” The Naathi scribe moved closer to the bed. “This one heard you crying.”

ADWD Daenerys VII

Meereenese seldom rode within their city walls. They preferred palanquins, litters, and sedan chairs, borne upon the shoulders of their slaves. “Horses befoul the streets,” one man of Zakh had told her, “slaves do not.” Dany had freed the slaves, yet palanquins, litters, and sedan chairs still choked the streets as before, and none of them floated magically through the air.

ADWD Daenerys VI

Their eyes followed her. Those who had the strength called out. “Mother … please, Mother … bless you, Mother …”

Bless me, Dany thought bitterly. Your city is gone to ash and bone, your people are dying all around you. I have no shelter for you, no medicine, no hope. Only stale bread and wormy meat, hard cheese, a little milk. Bless me, bless me.

What kind of mother has no milk to feed her children?

Dany gazed across the camp, to the many-colored brick walls of Meereen. The air was thick with flies and cries. “The gods have sent this pestilence to humble me.[”]

ADWD Daenerys V

The weaver raised her head. “Every day we told each other that the dragon queen was coming back.” The woman had thin lips and dull dead eyes, set in a pinched and narrow face. “Cleon had sent for you, it was said, and you were coming.”

He sent for me, thought Dany. That much is true, at least.

“Others blamed Daenerys,” said the weaver, “but more of us still loved you. ‘She is on her way,’ we said to one another. ‘She is coming at the head of a great host, with food for all.’”

I can scarce feed my own folk. If I had marched to Astapor, I would have lost Meereen.

“Even then some said that you were coming,” said the weaver. “They swore they had seen you mounted on a dragon, flying high above the camps of the Yunkai’i. Every day we looked for you.”

I could not come, the queen thought. I dare not.

“It is good that you have come,” she told the Astapori. “You will be safe in Meereen.”

The cobbler thanked her for that, and the old brickmaker kissed her foot, but the weaver looked at her with eyes as hard as slate. She knows I lie, the queen thought. She knows I cannot keep them safe. Astapor is burning, and Meereen is next.

You warned King Cleon against this war with Yunkai. The man was a fool, and his hands were red with blood.”

And are my hands any cleaner? She remembered what Daario had said—that all kings must be butchers, or meat.

“Cleon was the enemy of our enemy. If I had joined him at the Horns of Hazzat, we might have crushed the Yunkai’i between us.”

The Shavepate disagreed. “If you had taken the Unsullied south to Hazzat, the Sons of the Harpy—”

“I know. I know. It is Eroeh all over again.”

Brown Ben Plumm was puzzled. “Who is Eroeh?”

“A girl I thought I’d saved from rape and torment. All I did was make it worse for her in the end. And all I did in Astapor was make ten thousand Eroehs.”

“Your Grace could not have known—”

“I am the queen. It was my place to know.”

ADWD Daenerys IV

“Then heed me now and marry.”

[...] “Tell me, can this king puff his cheeks up and blow Xaro’s galleys back to Qarth? Can he clap his hands and break the siege of Astapor? Can he put food in the bellies of my children and bring peace back to my streets?”

“...In him the prophecies shall be fulfilled, and your enemies will melt away like snow."

He shall be the stallion that mounts the world. Dany knew how it went with prophecies. They were made of words, and words were wind.

“Why would you want to help me? For the crown?”

“...The Seven Kingdoms will never accept Hizdahr zo Loraq as king.”

“No more than Meereen will accept Daenerys Targaryen as queen. The Green Grace has the right of that. I need a king beside me, a king of old Ghiscari blood. Elsewise they will always see me as the uncouth barbarian who smashed through their gates, impaled their kin on spikes, and stole their wealth.”

“Bright queen,” he said, “you have grown more beautiful in my absence. How is this thing possible?”

The queen was accustomed to such praise, yet somehow the compliment meant more coming from Daario than from the likes of Reznak, Xaro, or Hizdahr.

What have I done? she thought, huddled in her empty bed. I have waited so long for him to come back, and I send him away. “He would make a monster of me,” she whispered, “a butcher queen.” But then she thought of Drogon far away, and the dragons in the pit. There is blood on my hands too, and on my heart. We are not so different, Daario and I. We are both monsters.

ADWD Daenerys III

“I want no slave. I free you.” His jeweled nose made a tempting target. This time Dany threw an apricot at him.

Xaro caught it in the air and took a bite. “Whence came this madness? Should I count myself fortunate that you did not free my own slaves when you were my guest in Qarth?”

I was a beggar queen and you were Xaro of the Thirteen, Dany thought, and all you wanted were my dragons. “Your slaves seemed well treated and content. It was not till Astapor that my eyes were opened. Do you know how Unsullied are made and trained?”

“Meereen is a free city of free men.”

“A poor city that once was rich. A hungry city that once was fat. A bloody city that once was peaceful.”

His accusations stung. There was too much truth in them. “Meereen will be rich and fat and peaceful once again, and free as well. Go to the Dothraki if you must have slaves.”

Groleo had been a most unhappy man since they had broken up his ship to build the siege engines that won Meereen for her. Dany had tried to console him by naming him her lord admiral, but it was a hollow honor; the Meereenese fleet had sailed for Yunkai when Dany’s host approached the city, so the old Pentoshi was an admiral without ships.

Ser Barristan went to one knee before her. “My queen, your realm has need of you. You are not wanted here, but in Westeros men will flock to your banners by the thousands, great lords and noble knights. ‘She is come,’ they will shout to one another, in glad voices. ‘Prince Rhaegar’s sister has come home at last.’”

“If they love me so much, they will wait for me.” Dany stood. “Reznak, summon Xaro Xhoan Daxos.”

ADWD Daenerys II

A shadow. A memory. No one. She was the blood of the dragon, but Ser Barristan had warned her that in that blood there was a taint. Could I be going mad? They had called her father mad, once. “I was praying,” she told the Naathi girl. “It will be light soon. I had best eat something, before court.”

She was the blood of the dragon. She could kill the Sons of the Harpy, and the sons of the sons, and the sons of the sons of the sons. But a dragon could not feed a hungry child nor help a dying woman’s pain. And who would ever dare to love a dragon?

All the dogs are just as guilty. The guilt …” The word caught in her throat. Hazzea, she thought, and suddenly she heard herself say, “I have to see the pit,” in a voice as small as a child’s whisper. “Take me down, ser, if you would.”

What sort of mother lets her children rot in darkness?

If I look back, I am doomed, Dany told herself … but how could she not look back? I should have seen it coming. Was I so blind, or did I close my eyes willfully, so I would not have to see the price of power?

Mother of dragons, Daenerys thought. Mother of monsters. What have I unleashed upon the world? A queen I am, but my throne is made of burned bones, and it rests on quicksand. Without dragons, how could she hope to hold Meereen, much less win back Westeros? I am the blood of the dragon, she thought. If they are monsters, so am I.

ADWD Daenerys I

A boy came, younger than Dany, slight and scarred, dressed up in a frayed grey tokar trailing silver fringe. His voice broke when he told of how two of his father’s household slaves had risen up the night the gate broke. One had slain his father, the other his elder brother. Both had raped his mother before killing her as well. The boy had escaped with no more than the scar upon his face, but one of the murderers was still living in his father’s house, and the other had joined the queen’s soldiers as one of the Mother’s Men. He wanted them both hanged.

I am queen over a city built on dust and death. Dany had no choice but to deny him. She had declared a blanket pardon for all crimes committed during the sack. Nor would she punish slaves for rising up against their masters.

When she told him, the boy rushed at her, but his feet tangled in his tokar and he went sprawling headlong on the purple marble. [...]“Enough, Belwas,” Dany called. [...] But as he left the boy looked back over his shoulder, and when she saw his eyes Dany thought, The Harpy has another Son.

A Storm of Swords

ASOS Daenerys VI

When she was dressed, Missandei brought her a polished silver glass so she could see how she looked. Dany stared at herself in silence. Is this the face of a conqueror? So far as she could tell, she still looked like a little girl.

All my victories turn to dross in my hands, she thought. Whatever I do, all I make is death and horror. When word of what had befallen Astapor reached the streets, as it surely would, tens of thousands of newly freed Meereenese slaves would doubtless decide to follow her when she went west, for fear of what awaited them if they stayed ... yet it might well be that worse would await them on the march. Even if she emptied every granary in the city and left Meereen to starve, how could she feed so many? The way before her was fraught with hardship, bloodshed, and danger. Ser Jorah had warned her of that. He’d warned her of so many things ... he’d ... No, I will not think of Jorah Mormont. Let him keep a little longer.

“The city bleeds. Dead men rot unburied in the streets, each pyramid is an armed camp, and the markets have neither food nor slaves for sale. And the poor children! King Cleaver’s thugs have seized every highborn boy in Astapor to make new Unsullied for the trade, though it will be years before they are trained.”

The thing that surprised Dany most was how unsurprised she was. She found herself remembering Eroeh, the Lhazarene girl she had once tried to protect, and what had happened to her. It will be the same in Meereen once I march, she thought. The slaves from the fighting pits, bred and trained to slaughter, were already proving themselves unruly and quarrelsome. They seemed to think they owned the city now, and every man and woman in it. Two of them had been among the eight she’d hanged. There is no more I can do, she told herself.

“I will admit you helped win me this city ...”

Ser Jorah’s mouth tightened. “We won you this city. We sewer rats.”

“Be quiet,” she said again ... though there was truth to what he said.

“Bring me the book I was reading last night.” She wanted to lose herself in the words, in other times and other places. The fat leather-bound volume was full of songs and stories from the Seven Kingdoms. Children’s stories, if truth be told; too simple and fanciful to be true history. All the heroes were tall and handsome, and you could tell the traitors by their shifty eyes. Yet she loved them all the same. Last night she had been reading of the three princesses in the red tower, locked away by the king for the crime of being beautiful.

But Daario is right, I shouldn’t have banished him. I should have kept him, or I should have killed him. She played at being a queen, yet sometimes she still felt like a scared little girl. Viserys always said what a dolt I was. Was he truly mad? She closed the book. She could still recall Ser Jorah, if she wished. Or send Daario to kill him.

That night her handmaids brought her lamb, with a salad of raisins and carrots soaked in wine, and a hot flaky bread dripping with honey. She could eat none of it. Did Rhaegar ever grow so weary? she wondered. Did Aegon, after his conquest?

“Aegon the Conqueror brought fire and blood to Westeros, but afterward he gave them peace, prosperity, and justice. But all I have brought to Slaver’s Bay is death and ruin. I have been more khal than queen, smashing and plundering, then moving on.”

“There is nothing to stay for,” said Brown Ben Plumm.

“Your Grace, the slavers brought their doom on themselves,” said Daario Naharis.

“You have brought freedom as well,” Missandei pointed out.

“Freedom to starve?” asked Dany sharply. “Freedom to die? Am I a dragon, or a harpy?” Am I mad? Do I have the taint?

“A dragon,” Ser Barristan said with certainty. “Meereen is not Westeros, Your Grace.”

“But how can I rule seven kingdoms if I cannot rule a single city?” He had no answer to that. Dany turned away from them, to gaze out over the city once again. “My children need time to heal and learn. My dragons need time to grow and test their wings. And I need the same. I will not let this city go the way of Astapor. I will not let the harpy of Yunkai chain up those I’ve freed all over again.” She turned back to look at their faces. “I will not march.”

“What will you do then, Khaleesi?” asked Rakharo.

“Stay,” she said. “Rule. And be a queen.”

ASOS Daenerys V

Balerion floated nearest; the great cog once known as Saduleon, her sails furled. Further out were the galleys Meraxes and Vhagar, formerly Joso’s Prank and Summer Sun. They were Magister Illyrio’s ships, in truth, not hers at all, and yet she had given them new names with hardly a thought.

Many of the freedmen believed there was good fortune in her touch. If it helps give them courage, let them touch me, she thought. There are hard trials yet ahead ...

“Your Grace.” Arstan knelt. “I am an old man, and shamed. He should never have gotten close enough to seize you. I was lax. I did not know him without his beard and hair.”

“No more than I did.”

ASOS Daenerys III

Arstan Whitebeard held his tongue as well, when Dany swept by him on the terrace. He followed her down the steps in silence, but she could hear his hardwood staff tap tapping on the red bricks as they went. She did not blame him for his fury. It was a wretched thing she did. The Mother of Dragons has sold her strongest child. Even the thought made her ill.

Dany fed her dragons as she always did, but found she had no appetite herself. She cried awhile, alone in her cabin, then dried her tears long enough for yet another argument with Groleo.

[...] The anger burned the grief and fear from her, for a few hours at the least.

If I look back I am lost, Dany told herself the next morning as she entered Astapor through the harbor gates. She dared not remind herself how small and insignificant her following truly was, or she would lose all courage.

Dany mounted her silver. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest. She felt desperately afraid. Was this what my brother would have done?

ASOS Daenerys II

“Yet I must have some army,” Dany said. “The boy Joffrey will not give me the Iron Throne for asking politely.”

“When the day comes that you raise your banners, half of Westeros will be with you,” Whitebeard promised. “Your brother Rhaegar is still remembered, with great love.”

“And my father?” Dany said.

The old man hesitated before saying, “King Aerys is also remembered. He gave the realm many years of peace. Your Grace, you have no need of slaves. Magister Illyrio can keep you safe while your dragons grow, and send secret envoys across the narrow sea on your behalf, to sound out the high lords for your cause.”

“Those same high lords who abandoned my father to the Kingslayer and bent the knee to Robert the Usurper?”

“Even those who bent their knees may yearn in their hearts for the return of the dragons.”

“May,” said Dany. That was such a slippery word, may. In any language.

[“]So tell me, why is that ugly harpy not sitting beside the godsway in Vaes Dothrak among the other stolen gods?”

“You have a dragon’s eye, Khaleesi, that’s plain to see.”

“I wanted an answer, not a compliment.”

A Clash of Kings

ACOK Daenerys V

Jhiqui had braided her hair Dothraki-fashion, and fastened a silver bell to the end of the braid. “I have won no victories,” she tried telling her handmaid when the bell tinkled softly.

Jhiqui disagreed. “You burned the maegi in their house of dust and sent their souls to hell.”

That was Drogon’s victory, not mine, Dany wanted to say, but she held her tongue. The Dothraki would esteem her all the more for a few bells in her hair.

Pale men in dusty linen skirts stood beneath arched doorways to watch them pass. They know who I am, and they do not love me. Dany could tell from the way they looked at her.

It was not by choice that she sought the waterfront. She was fleeing again. Her whole life had been one long flight, it seemed. She had begun running in her mother’s womb, and never once stopped. How often had she and Viserys stolen away in the black of night, a bare step ahead of the Usurper’s hired knives? But it was run or die. Xaro had learned that Pyat Pree was gathering the surviving warlocks together to work ill on her.

“...Give me a son, my sweet song of joy!”

Give you a dragon, you mean. “I will not wed you, Xaro.” His face had grown cold at that. “Then go.”

“But where?”

“Somewhere far from here.”

Dany would get no help from the Thirteen, the Tourmaline Brotherhood, or the Ancient Guild of Spicers.

Sailors, dockworkers, and merchants alike gave way before her, not knowing what to make of this slim young girl with silver-gold hair who dressed in the Dothraki fashion and walked with a knight at her side.

“Sheath your steel, blood of my blood,” said Dany, “this man comes to serve me. Belwas, you will accord all respect to my people, or you will leave my service sooner than you’d wish, and with more scars than when you came.”

The gap-toothed smile faded from the giant’s broad brown face, replaced by a confused scowl. Men did not often threaten Belwas, it would seem, and less so girls a third his size.

ACOK Daenerys IV

Her voice was no more than a whisper, almost as faint as theirs.

ACOK Daenerys III

The drapes kept out the dust and heat of the streets, but they could not keep out disappointment. Dany climbed inside wearily, glad for the refuge from the sea of Qartheen eyes.

“I see a deep sadness written upon your face, my light of love.” He offered her a goblet. “Could it be the sadness of a lost dream?”

“A dream delayed, no more.” [...] The Pureborn were notorious for offering poisoned wine to those they thought dangerous, but they had not given Dany so much as a cup of water. They never saw me for a queen, she thought bitterly. I was only an afternoon’s amusement, a horse girl with a curious pet.

Yet the men who sat in them seemed so listless and world-weary that they might have been asleep. They listened, but they did not hear, or care, she thought. They are Milk Men indeed. They never meant to help me. They came because they were curious. They came because they were bored, and the dragon on my shoulder interested them more than I did.

“Tell me the words of the Pureborn,” prompted Xaro Xhoan Daxos. “Tell me what they said to sadden the queen of my heart.”

“They said no.” The wine tasted of pomegranates and hot summer days. “They said it with great courtesy, to be sure, but under all the lovely words, it was still no.”

“Did you flatter them?”

“Shamelessly.”

“Did you weep?”

“The blood of the dragon does not weep,” she said testily.

Xaro sighed. “You ought to have wept.” The Qartheen wept often and easily; it was considered a mark of the civilized man. “The men we bought, what did they say?”

“Mathos said nothing. Wendello praised the way I spoke. The Exquisite refused me with the rest, but he wept afterward.”

“Alas, that Qartheen should be so faithless.” Xaro was not himself of the Pureborn, but he had told her whom to bribe and how much to offer. “Weep, weep, for the treachery of men.”

Dany would sooner have wept for her gold. The bribes she’d tendered to Mathos Mallarawan, Wendello Qar Deeth, and Egon Emeros the Exquisite might have bought her a ship, or hired a score of sellswords.

The crown was the only offering she’d kept. The rest she sold, to gather the wealth she had wasted on the Pureborn. Xaro would have sold the crown too—the Thirteen would see that she had a much finer one, he swore—but Dany forbade it. “Viserys sold my mother’s crown, and men called him a beggar. I shall keep this one, so men will call me a queen.” And so she did, though the weight of it made her neck ache.

Yet even crowned, I am a beggar still, Dany thought. I have become the most splendid beggar in the world, but a beggar all the same. She hated it, as her brother must have. All those years of running from city to city one step ahead of the Usurper’s knives, pleading for help from archons and princes and magisters, buying our food with flattery. He must have known how they mocked him. Small wonder he turned so angry and bitter. In the end it had driven him mad. It will do the same to me if I let it. Part of her would have liked nothing more than to lead her people back to Vaes Tolorro, and make the dead city bloom. No, that is defeat. I have something Viserys never had. I have the dragons. The dragons are all the difference.

“The Arbor makes the best wine in the world,” Dany declared. Lord Redwyne had fought for her father against the Usurper, she remembered, one of the few to remain true to the last. Will he fight for me as well? There was no way to be certain after so many years.

“I mean to sail to Westeros, and drink the wine of vengeance from the skull of the Usurper.”

[...] “Will nothing turn you from this madness?”

“Nothing,” she said, wishing she was as certain as she sounded.

Even so, it would be years before they were large enough to take to war. And they must be trained as well, or they will lay my kingdom waste. For all her Targaryen blood, Dany had not the least idea of how to train a dragon.

ACOK Daenerys II

Dany felt shabby and barbaric as she rode past them in her lionskin robe with black Drogon on one shoulder. Her Dothraki called the Qartheen “Milk Men” for their paleness, and Khal Drogo had dreamed of the day when he might sack the great cities of the east. She glanced at her bloodriders, their dark almond-shaped eyes giving no hint of their thoughts. Is it only the plunder they see? she wondered. How savage we must seem to these Qartheen.

“...The Thirteen will come to do you homage, and all the great of Qarth.”

All the great of Qarth will come to see my dragons, Dany thought, yet she thanked Xaro for his kindness before she sent him on his way.

The Usurper will kill you, sure as sunrise, Mormont had said. Robert had slain her gallant brother Rhaegar, and one of his creatures had crossed the Dothraki sea to poison her and her unborn son. They said Robert Baratheon was strong as a bull and fearless in battle, a man who loved nothing better than war. And with him stood the great lords her brother had named the Usurper’s dogs, cold-eyed Eddard Stark with his frozen heart, and the golden Lannisters, father and son, so rich, so powerful, so treacherous.

How could she hope to overthrow such men? When Khal Drogo had lived, men trembled and made him gifts to stay his wrath. If they did not, he took their cities, wealth and wives and all. But his khalasar had been vast, while hers was meager. Her people had followed her across the red waste as she chased her comet, and would follow her across the poison water too, but they would not be enough. Even her dragons might not be enough. Viserys had believed that the realm would rise for its rightful king ... but Viserys had been a fool, and fools believe in foolish things.

Her doubts made her shiver.

“The high lords have always fought. Tell me who’s won and I’ll tell you what it means. Khaleesi, the Seven Kingdoms are not going to fall into your hands like so many ripe peaches. You will need a fleet, gold, armies, alliances—”

“All this I know.” She took his hands in hers and looked up into his dark suspicious eyes.

Sometimes he thinks of me as a child he must protect, and sometimes as a woman he would like to bed, but does he ever truly see me as his queen?

ACOK Daenerys I

“...Ten thousand warriors went with him. You have a hundred.”

No, Dany thought. I have four. The rest are women, old sick men and boys whose hair has never been braided.

A Game of Thrones

AGOT Daenerys X

She could feel the eyes of the khalasar on her as she entered her tent. The Dothraki were muttering and giving her strange sideways looks from the corners of their dark almond eyes. They thought her mad, Dany realized. Perhaps she was. She would know soon enough. If I look back I am lost.

AGOT Daenerys VIII

Trembling, her eyes full of sudden tears, Dany turned away from them. He fell from his horse! It was so, she had seen it, and the bloodriders, and no doubt her handmaids and the men of her khas as well. And how many more? They could not keep it secret, and Dany knew what that meant. A khal who could not ride could not rule, and Drogo had fallen from his horse.

“We must bathe him,” she said stubbornly. She must not allow herself to despair.

“I will not leave him,” she said stubbornly, miserably. She took his hand again. “I will not.”

“That one means you no good, Princess,” Mormont said. “The Dothraki say a man and his bloodriders share one life, and Qotho sees it ending. A dead man is beyond fear.”

“No one has died,” Dany said. “Ser Jorah, I may have need of your blade. Best go don your armor.” She was more frightened than she dared admit, even to herself.

AGOT Daenerys VI

Dany was near tears as they carried her back. The taste in her mouth was one she had known before: fear. For years she had lived in terror of Viserys, afraid of waking the dragon. This was even worse. It was not just for herself that she feared now, but for her baby. He must have sensed her fright, for he moved restlessly inside her. Dany stroked the swell of her belly gently, wishing she could reach him, touch him, soothe him.

AGOT Daenerys IV

His fingers dug into her arm painfully and for an instant Dany felt like a child again, quailing in the face of his rage. She reached out with her other hand and grabbed the first thing she touched, the belt she’d hoped to give him, a heavy chain of ornate bronze medallions. She swung it with all her strength.

AGOT Daenerys III

“Hit her, Mormont. Hurt her. Your king commands it. Kill these Dothraki dogs and teach her.”

The exile knight looked from Dany to her brother; she barefoot, with dirt between her toes and oil in her hair, he with his silks and steel. Dany could see the decision on his face. “He shall walk, Khaleesi,” he said.

“Have you forgotten who you are? Look at you. Look at you!”

Dany did not need to look. She was barefoot, with oiled hair, wearing Dothraki riding leathers and a painted vest given her as a bride gift. She looked as though she belonged here. Viserys was soiled and stained in city silks and ringmail.

Her supper was a simple meal of fruit and cheese and fry bread, with a jug of honeyed wine to wash it down. “Doreah, stay and eat with me,” Dany commanded when she sent her other handmaids away. The Lysene girl had hair the color of honey, and eyes like the summer sky. She lowered those eyes when they were alone. “You honor me, Khaleesi,” she said, but it was no honor, only service. Long after the moon had risen, they sat together, talking.

AGOT Daenerys II

There are no more dragons, Dany thought, staring at her brother, though she did not dare say it aloud.

“What should I do?” she asked Illyrio.

It was Ser Jorah Mormont who answered. “Take the reins and ride. You need not go far.”

Nervously Dany gathered the reins in her hands and slid her feet into the short stirrups. She was only a fair rider; she had spent far more time traveling by ship and wagon and palanquin than by horseback. Praying that she would not fall off and disgrace herself, she gave the filly the lightest and most timid touch with her knees.

And for the first time in hours, she forgot to be afraid. Or perhaps it was for the first time ever.

AGOT Daenerys I

Her brother held the gown up for her inspection. “This is beauty. Touch it. Go on. Caress the fabric.”

Dany touched it. The cloth was so smooth that it seemed to run through her fingers like water. She could not remember ever wearing anything so soft. It frightened her. She pulled her hand away. “Is it really mine?”

“A gift from the Magister Illyrio,” Viserys said, smiling. Her brother was in a high mood tonight. “The color will bring out the violet in your eyes. And you shall have gold as well, and jewels of all sorts. Illyrio has promised. Tonight you must look like a princess.”

A princess, Dany thought. She had forgotten what that was like. Perhaps she had never really known. “Why does he give us so much?” she asked. “What does he want from us?” For nigh on half a year, they had lived in the magister’s house, eating his food, pampered by his servants. Dany was thirteen, old enough to know that such gifts seldom come without their price, here in the free city of Pentos.

“Illyrio is no fool,” Viserys said. He was a gaunt young man with nervous hands and a feverish look in his pale lilac eyes. “The magister knows that I will not forget my friends when I come into my throne.”

Dany said nothing. Magister Illyrio was a dealer in spices, gemstones, dragonbone, and other, less savory things. He had friends in all of the Nine Free Cities, it was said, and even beyond, in Vaes Dothrak and the fabled lands beside the Jade Sea. It was also said that he’d never had a friend he wouldn’t cheerfully sell for the right price. Dany listened to the talk in the streets, and she heard these things, but she knew better than to question her brother when he wove his webs of dream. His anger was a terrible thing when roused. Viserys called it “waking the dragon.”

Somewhere beyond the sunset, across the narrow sea, lay a land of green hills and flowered plains and great rushing rivers, where towers of dark stone rose amidst magnificent blue-grey mountains, and armored knights rode to battle beneath the banners of their lords. The Dothraki called that land Rhaesh Andahli, the land of the Andals. In the Free Cities, they talked of Westeros and the Sunset Kingdoms. Her brother had a simpler name. “Our land,” he called it. The words were like a prayer with him. If he said them enough, the gods were sure to hear. “Ours by blood right, taken from us by treachery, but ours still, ours forever. You do not steal from the dragon, oh, no. The dragon remembers.”

And perhaps the dragon did remember, but Dany could not. She had never seen this land her brother said was theirs, this realm beyond the narrow sea. These places he talked of, Casterly Rock and the Eyrie, Highgarden and the Vale of Arryn, Dorne and the Isle of Faces, they were just words to her. Viserys had been a boy of eight when they fled King’s Landing to escape the advancing armies of the Usurper, but Daenerys had been only a quickening in their mother’s womb.

Yet sometimes Dany would picture the way it had been, so often had her brother told her the stories. The midnight flight to Dragonstone, moonlight shimmering on the ship’s black sails. Her brother Rhaegar battling the Usurper in the bloody waters of the Trident and dying for the woman he loved. The sack of King’s Landing by the ones Viserys called the Usurper’s dogs, the lords Lannister and Stark. Princess Elia of Dorne pleading for mercy as Rhaegar’s heir was ripped from her breast and murdered before her eyes. The polished skulls of the last dragons staring down sightlessly from the walls of the throne room while the Kingslayer opened Father’s throat with a golden sword.

She had been born on Dragonstone nine moons after their flight, while a raging summer storm threatened to rip the island fastness apart. They said that storm was terrible. The Targaryen fleet was smashed while it lay at anchor, and huge stone blocks were ripped from the parapets and sent hurtling into the wild waters of the narrow sea. Her mother had died birthing her, and for that her brother Viserys had never forgiven her.

She did not remember Dragonstone either. They had run again, just before the Usurper’s brother set sail with his new-built fleet. By then only Dragonstone itself, the ancient seat of their House, had remained of the Seven Kingdoms that had once been theirs. It would not remain for long. [...]

They had wandered since then, from Braavos to Myr, from Myr to Tyrosh, and on to Qohor and Volantis and Lys, never staying long in any one place. Her brother would not allow it. The Usurper’s hired knives were close behind them, he insisted, though Dany had never seen one.

At first the magisters and archons and merchant princes were pleased to welcome the last Targaryens to their homes and tables, but as the years passed and the Usurper continued to sit upon the Iron Throne, doors closed and their lives grew meaner. Years past they had been forced to sell their last few treasures, and now even the coin they had gotten from Mother’s crown had gone. In the alleys and wine sinks of Pentos, they called her brother “the beggar king.” Dany did not want to know what they called her.

Last of all came the collar, a heavy golden torc emblazoned with ancient Valyrian glyphs.

“Now you look all a princess,” the girl said breathlessly when they were done. Dany glanced at her image in the silvered looking glass that Illyrio had so thoughtfully provided. A princess, she thought, but she remembered what the girl had said, how Khal Drogo was so rich even his slaves wore golden collars. She felt a sudden chill, and gooseflesh pimpled her bare arms.

Dany could smell the stench of Illyrio’s pallid flesh through his heavy perfumes.

Her brother, sprawled out on his pillows beside her, never noticed. His mind was away across the narrow sea. “We won’t need his whole khalasar,” Viserys said. His fingers toyed with the hilt of his borrowed blade, though Dany knew he had never used a sword in earnest. “Ten thousand, that would be enough, I could sweep the Seven Kingdoms with ten thousand Dothraki screamers. The realm will rise for its rightful king. Tyrell, Redwyne, Darry, Greyjoy, they have no more love for the Usurper than I do. The Dornishmen burn to avenge Elia and her children. And the smallfolk will be with us. They cry out for their king.” He looked at Illyrio anxiously. “They do, don’t they?”

“They are your people, and they love you well,” Magister Illyrio said amiably. “In holdfasts all across the realm, men lift secret toasts to your health while women sew dragon banners and hide them against the day of your return from across the water.” He gave a massive shrug. “Or so my agents tell me.”

Dany had no agents, no way of knowing what anyone was doing or thinking across the narrow sea, but she mistrusted Illyrio’s sweet words as she mistrusted everything about Illyrio. Her brother was nodding eagerly, however. “I shall kill the Usurper myself,” he promised, who had never killed anyone, “as he killed my brother Rhaegar. And Lannister too, the Kingslayer, for what he did to my father.”

“That would be most fitting,” Magister Illyrio said. Dany saw the smallest hint of a smile playing around his full lips, but her brother did not notice. Nodding, he pushed back a curtain and stared off into the night, and Dany knew he was fighting the Battle of the Trident once again.

Magister Illyrio’s words were honey. “Many important men will be at the feast tonight. Such men have enemies. The khal must protect his guests, yourself chief among them, Your Grace. No doubt the Usurper would pay well for your head.”

“Oh, yes,” Viserys said darkly. “He has tried, Illyrio, I promise you that. His hired knives follow us everywhere. I am the last dragon, and he will not sleep easy while I live.”

The palanquin slowed and stopped. The curtains were thrown back, and a slave offered a hand to help Daenerys out. His collar, she noted, was ordinary bronze.

#daenerys targaryen #a dance with dragons #a storm of swords #a clash of kings #a game of thrones #dany passages

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yaboylevi · 5 years

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Hello there! I couldn't help but notice that salty anon asking about your stance on Levi so I'll ask again because it sure sounds interesting! Do you mind telling us how you feel about him?

Okay, so the original question from a dumb hater was how I could even support a romantic ship between Eren and Levi if I am not a Levi fan*.

*If a ”Levi fan”, like that idiotic anon meant, is someone who excuses all of Levi’s bad behaviors, then no, I am not a fan.

Premise no.1: I’ve loved Levi for so many years, he’s been part of my twitter handle in the past, is in my Tumblr url, icons on various social media, I have a lot of merchandise and not only for “the sake of the ship”. I genuinely used to love him to the point that he was my favorite character alongside Eren, I couldn’t pick one. So I guess I am a bit of a fan, after all.

Premise no.2: I am a gigantic bag of salt about this topic so tread carefully if you’re easily offended. I won’t sugarcoat my VERY BIASED opinions, and if you strongly disagree, that’s perfectly fine. I won’t change my opinion with the information we currently have, because this isn’t a gut reaction I spent two seconds on, I actually soul searched (lol) for the reasons as to why I felt so negatively about Levi. He was my fave, and I felt deeply hurt and confused and frustrated, so I thought long and hard about it. I am open to change my mind if anything else comes out of him in the future.

Also, I have already spent a lot of words on how I feel about Levi’s character as of late, here, here, and here, here, here and here for example, also here and here (I haven’t exactly been silent about it lol) but let me reiterate it into one incomplete post. It’s really freaking long, and a wall of text at it. I don’t expect people to put up with this messy rant, but suit yourself if you want to.

@ the people who sent these new questions almost a month ago, I’m sorry this isn’t the reply you hoped for. If you guys want a more positive take on this, just look through my ereri meta tag.

Levi as a character can be simplified in 3 points, in my opinion: 1) the deep, caring feelings he has for his comrades and as such the responsibility he feels for them and their deaths; 2) his violent side and how he resorts to violence to solve situations. These 2 merge together into 3) what used to be his main goal, free humanity. He lent his strength (that at times he uses for violence/to get his way) to the cause: helping in freeing humanity inside the walls because the sense of freedom is worth everything.

So, harsh opinion: I believe he has lost sight of his goal – as Isayama has stated in the past even though I didn’t wanna believe it because it made zero sense and cheapened everything I loved about Levi – and he has fallen back into his worst behaviors. Add to that a lack of active presence and engagement in the actual story, and you get this predictable, background character that I can’t for the life of me enjoy currently. Because apparently, he forgot how to live on his own without Erwin’s guidance (and here I’d have another bag of salt to pour but this would get too long, and I don’t have the patience to word it in a way that wouldn’t bring me the ire of his fans).

I don’t know if Levi is really supposed to be seen this way, but at least to me, the focus has been mostly on this: his anger/violence/flaws, and his lack of involvement.

I never liked the way he resorted to violence to “resolve” not life-or-death situations or simply to vent his frustrations, in the first place. It’s something Eren had to let go of, he was rewarded when he used his wits, abandoning pure rage for the sake of revenge, and it’s always been Isayama’s intention, imo, to show as much with the story in general and with Levi as well, as Levi has never been rewarded for it either.

So, witnessing his character revert AGAIN to kicks and straight-up sadism, as a fan, has been a big disappointment. Then, the shift of his goal because “saving humanity” wasn’t Erwin’s goal, after all, has been another point of disappointment – but this happened way before the current arc. His obsession with “making the dead soldiers’ sacrifices worth it” can be commendable, but the way he’s going about it is totally blind and dictated by anger and loss of hope, in a way, so I don’t see it as something positive either. He lacks vision, he lacks a voice in the things that are happening around him as if he doesn’t care whatever happens to all of them, as long as he can make Zeke suffer and kill him. I know it’s not totally the case, because we have seen (and I want to believe) that he still cares about his comrades who are still alive, as seen during the battle in Liberio and his reticence at following direct orders to kill Eren, but at the same time, the obsession with “repaying the lives of the dead” is making him being absolutely heartless for the sake of his “hope” (like, I’m paraphrasing here but he literally went “let’s go to war again and let Historia become a shifter if she so wants to, who cares, more deaths, yay”), though he himself doesn’t seem to care about hope and freedom and all this stuff that much anymore, or he would’ve spoken up about the mess Paradis and Hange were throwing themselves into, like Eren did.

Another point of dissatisfaction is that it seemed to me like he was forming stronger bonds with the 104th and he was becoming better at voicing his opinions without becoming violent, but I guess he either regressed, or I always read him wrong. His violence in 114 was downright revolting to me, I felt nauseous and, in a way, I’m glad he got k.o’ed. It put a stop to his metaphorical downfall, at least — I see post-timeskip Levi as a cheapened, worsened, “hyperfocused-on-just-one-side-of-him” version of the Levi I used to love in earlier arcs and he was only getting worse, imo.

And, as a special mention re: his violence and his relationship with Eren… It was interesting to observe how he slowly changed in regards to Eren, learning how to lift him up and get the best out of and for him, caring about and paying attention to Eren’s emotional state when no one could or would. It was also very interesting how he opened up to Eren just because he wanted to help him, always, from the beginning. THAT’S what really made me fall for the ship and for Levi.

Also, he thought that violence wasn’t the answer with Eren, and I guess I can excuse him for his behavior in Shiganshina because it was a charged challenge of sort for every character. But he really did think that nobody could make Eren submit with violence, yet he’s the one who tried to do exactly that as soon as they met again in ch.105. I was so disappointed that their relationship seemed to have regressed so much, I kept being hopeful only because of his face/words after the kick: he felt betrayed and saddened by Eren, so it meant he still cared deeply about him. And yeah, he does, but the reasons are also partially…bad.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe he cares about Eren as a person, the boy he met and decided to protect all those years ago, but now saving Eren has become deeply intertwined with saving his last remaining goal: making it up to the dead soldiers (and I’ve already explained why I think it’s not a “positive” goal). And it’s unfair and a skewed view, imo, because Eren really didn’t have much to do with every single death. But I think it’s Levi being desperate about it all, he clings to it or he’d lose it if he had to, um, reconsider his current mindset. He’s like…grasping at straws, I feel. Like he was doing with Erwin when Erwin revealed his true colors. Levi ended up reconsidering his own ideals and goals, back then, but in a bad way (he had no goals of his own, he just blindly followed Erwin, who cares about humanity, right? Even though he seemed to care oh so much before).

I guess it’s the downfall of the “Hero”. @/Isayama, was this necessary? Is this entertaining? I am personally not a fan of this, there were so many ways to challenge Levi’s belief & trust in Eren, and to still have Levi be an active player. This just feels like a cheap way to get him out of the picture and turn him into a really secondary character. He doesn’t feel like a main player in this arc.

So long story short, I’m very disappointed in his development. I was willing to go along with it in the hopes that it would be leading us to something very interesting and it seemed it could go into a good direction as I stated here. But when he seemed to be confirmed basically dead (literally, or anyway when it comes to his importance in current events), I’ve kind of lost all hope in regards to his character, and I felt so done about it. He is either gonna stay this way, or there’s gonna be some small, cheap, background-ish closure (though atm I fail to see how, seeing as the story is about to end) and if that’s the case, I fail to comprehend the purpose of his arc, then. I don’t think his is an unreasonable development, I just fail to see how the direction Isayama has decided to “develop” him in has any relevance to the story and its themes, as he used to be a major player with some good-ass, relevant presence in the story. As I said in some posts I linked above, Isayama may have lost motivation to develop Levi any further and dropped it from the “main players” roaster, probably when he decided to change Levi’s motivations halfway through the story (because yes, the problems I have with Levi started towards the end of Uprising).

I used to be a great Levi fan, if my username and icon are anything to go by, and I still like him when I reread some parts as I stated elsewhere, because I really, really love when he interacts with the 104th or like, with his subordinates or even Hange. It’s fun to watch and even cute, when he’s not being a violent arsehole. So it’s really a shame that it’s come to this.

And yeah, I’m sure some people may have noticed already, but the ereri content on my blog has become quite scarce, S3 and the shitfest that went down there in regards to Eren&Levi parts also dampened my hype for the ship, my dissatisfaction with Levi’s character and the way his interactions (or lack thereof) with Eren went recently just pissed me off. But I loved this ship for like 5 years, I’m attached to it, and I am capable of separating the good parts of it from the bad ones (though it’s become increasingly difficult). And most importantly, I still love the way their canon relationship was developed up until before the serum bowl. Almost nothing has happened with them since then, so that’s why I was still really hyped for the next 2 years, but recently, and with Levi’s return, I’ve just grown more frustrated and bored with it.

After all, I fell in love with the romantic fanon ship BECAUSE the canon relationship was so interesting, had potential, and seemed to be going some incredibly cool directions, as both the characters seemed to be similar, had the same goals and understood each other on a basic level. It turned out to be almost nothing in the end, but alas.

So, how can I ship them if I don’t like one of them?

I still like Levi, especially when I reread the early arcs. This doesn’t mean I have to accept the worst sides of him that have apparently taken over his whole personality. His violence ISN’T a flaw I - or anyone, imo - should accept. Snoring IS a flaw we can/have to accept if we love someone. Violence is something that must be overcome. My annoyance with people implying they are better fans because they accept and embrace and excuse him and his violence, compared to those who don’t like that, is also a factor in my frustration. Understanding why exactly he’s the way he is is part of being a fan of a character, wishing for him to become a better person and ultimately letting go of toxic (yeah) acquired behaviors, imo, is better than defending and hyping them up. Some people even LOVE and WISH that violence will be his downfall because it’s violence for the sake of avenging [redacted] so it’s sooo romantic. lmao, ok. And I won't even get started about the ones who SERIOUSLY say that adult characters don't need to change, because I'm gonna start laughing for 3 hours straight. Dudes, there's not an age where you stop changing. If you stop trying bettering yourself at age XX, then I already know you're a shitty adult irl, goodbye.

Anyways, back on track. As I said in another post I may have linked above, I thought his encounter and resolution with Kenny would have amounted to something in this regards, since Levi used violence to get acknowledgment and to feel like he was “worth” something, imo, but it was only a set up for serumbowl. Wasted chance.

And I get it that violence is the way he was taught to deal with things, but 20 years have passed since then and he had a whole character arc in Uprising about opening up, trusting, feeling trusted in return, and feeling good and grateful and happy about that BECAUSE he was open with his squad and learned that it was better to use words rather than fists. So I thought he had grown out of it at least a bit. But I mean, there are other characters who have regressed or haven’t changed at all after their supposed character arc, and that dampened to a great degree the enjoyment of such characters for me (Historia, Ymir, Reiner), so whatever I guess? I can definitely see it’s something of a “cruel” way of storytelling Isayama really seems to like, maybe because he wants the characters to suffer. I guess you can’t have a story if all of your characters become better people and overcome their flaws…well, actually you can, but I guess Isayama doesn’t want this to be that kind of story.

But anyway, just to be clear, it also ties in with wanting the characters you love to better themselves and let go of things that ruin their lives or that have roots in trauma. Wouldn’t you want that for someone you love, even and especially in real life? So, if his violent tendencies have been portrayed as “wrong”, Bad Coping Mechanisms, and rooted in childhood trauma, why is it so frowned upon in this goddamn fandom to wish for him to let go of them, since it’s something that has caused him and characters around him pain or distress or downright failure. Overcoming these flaws would mean he’d feel better about himself, and others, and his past, etc. Why is it SO wrong to wish him the best? Lmao, I don’t get it.

So when his “real fans” be like “Levi’s violence is a part of him, you don’t love him for real if you can’t accept that part. anyway he’s perfect the way he is”, I’m like…that’s actually bullshit. I just want him to be a better person, just like I wanted to be a better person when I had detrimental (for me and for the people close to me) behaviors due to mental health stuff.

It’s not even on the same level of wanting him to stop being rude, that’s part of his charm. Violence…is not a cool personality trait, and it’s something you should want him to get over.

–

I still love lots of things that were shown in the manga in regards to Eren and Levi, so I don’t get why I should justify myself for liking them together just because I don’t like some parts of one of them. I still think some of Levi’s best personality traits came out when he interacted with Eren, and I like the Levi who cares about Eren the most. Hence why I ship the goddamn ship. That’s all there is to it, really. Here I talked about what I loved about their relationship, though now I feel like a bit of a hopeful fool.

#nobody will read this 10k words long rant but whatever #shingeki asks #salt #Levi #unnecessary post but it was a good chance at venting #I feel like I haven't even touched one of the main big reason #but I don't want to talk about e*win tbh #arekupacific

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supergenial · 5 years

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Three Houses sucks actually

It’s been a whole month so after about 180 hours of play and doing all four routes, I thought I’d write down all the minor nitpicks that upset me about this fantastic game. Obviously spoilers ahead.

First of all, I do think it’s a great game, it’s one of my favorite fire emblem titles so far. I will not claim to be a veteran, but I have been playing since the gba games, I’ve played every game between fe6 and three houses, even fe12. I know genealogy is supposed to be GOAT but I’m holding out for a remake like I did with gaiden (and boy, waiting payed up big time on that one). Also if you love this game and think it’s perfect, that is awesome, I urge you to not read this so you don’t get upset about someone not understanding the game that you love (even though I love it too). Anyway, let’s begin:

I. The Four Routes are bad (together)

This game presents the player with a choice of 3 houses they can join, with that decision deciding which story you actually get to see. Along with Lion, Eagle and Deer, there’s also a “Church” route that is kind of lame, but not game-ruining. On their own they’re all actually pretty darn good stories. But these routes are extremely flawed. Not intrinsically, mind-you, but rather as a whole. In a game with multiple routes, you’d expect them to complement each other but instead each route actively makes the other ones actually worse. Do keep in mind that I think each route is pretty good on it’s own (even church) whichever one you pick first you will enjoy it greatly, and it will only deteriorate as you progress through the others.

Edelgard’s route is a political story of a revolutionary who wants to crush aristocracy and replace it with a meritocracy, her objective therefore is to crush the church that oversees the 3 nations. It feels like something out of shin megami tensei, she’s basically a chaos hero (which I usually hate) but with some nuance and less insane. It’s a great route! Gameplay-wise, it is my favorite, and also has the most thematic cohesion with the early game where all the students have misgivings about their noble status. Problem is it would have you believe that Dimitri has a complex ideological reason for standing up against her and protecting the church, when in reality playing his route tells you that he really has no political ideologies that he believes in (he straight up says this to Mercedes in their A support), he’s just a king defending his territory, which is really underwhelming as he has no parallels or contrasting motifs in regards to her, he’s just a dude. Another awful thing that basically everyone agrees is bad about this route is Those Who Slither in the Dark, a group that is set up as villains that have to be defeated, but instead get dealt with off-screen in the epilogue. You’d think it’s because they were lazy, and didn’t want to make a level for them, but there’s 2 routes in which you do fight them, they have their own level already in the game, it’s just not in this route. The plotline then just feels very lazy and incomplete, but even moreso once you play Claude’s route and you just... you just fight against those who slither, which is all I wanted to do at the end of Edelgard’s route. Perhaps the most disappointing route, but I happen to have an affinity for disappointment and the themes it goes for.

Dimtri’s route is a fantastic story of a broken man reclaiming his sanity. It’s the most character-driven and the most emotionally charged of the three. It’s an amazing route! Easily the best written as it picks a single theme (Dimitri’s downfall and rise) and does it extremely well instead of spreading too wide and losing focus. The ending is a bit underwhelming though. Basically everything after Dimitri recovers his humanity feels like filler, though his A supports are really amazing, all of them, making his post-feral phase worth it. The bigger problem is that this route actively sabotages the player’s enthusiasm towards playing Edelgard’s route as it paints her as the ultimate evil, the True and Only villain that has to be defeated. As such, a lot of the reaction I’ve seen online is that people who play this one first flat out refuse to play Edelgard’s route because really, why would you? She’s badbadnotgood, her sanity and reasoning are as flimsy as it gets, and she broke Dimitri’s heart when he was a kid, along with killing his entire family according to this route. You’d have to be insane to be excited to play as her, it’s something you’d only do for the sake of completionism. In the church and deer route you fight Edelgard too, but she’s presented as a well-intentioned extremist rather than an evil snake. Yes, even in the church route, the very one thing she wants to destroy!

Claude’s route on the other hand is so complete it suffers from it. It goes over every major plotline and actually solves it with very little thematic resonance between it all. Those who slide? He takes care of them. Rhea’s misdeeds? They’re acknowledged. Edelgard isn’t insane? He agrees. Who exactly was Nemesis?(the very first cutscene we’re shown!) Got it too. What is Sothis, what happened to her, why is she bound to Byleth? Got it. His route is ridiculous in that it covers too much ground and lore that could’ve been better put in the church route as it has no real thematic cohesion with Claude. He wants to end racism or something, ok cool, but he never fights any “race-realists”, none of the villains in his route are diametrically opposed to his ideals, and his final boss is a last minute diabolus ex machina with no real theme to it. It would’ve been easy to drive the point further that by beating the deadlords they’re burying the prejudices of the past and forging a new world without their literal ancestors hanging over them, but instead the scene goes for a sort of power of friendship type of feel and just rolls with that. It’s an exciting route with many hype moments, but when put together with the other ones, it feels kind of really weird that his route is basically a lore dump to fill in the lore gaps rather than a story about something.

It’s a given that in a game with 3 routes each one would tell their side of their story and be somewhat incomplete, leading the player to play all three to get the whole story. Instead these 3 routes actively try to drag each other lower instead of boosting each other higher, which is really disappointing.

Don’t even get me started on the church route, that shouldn’t even be in the game at all. It’s the same as Claude’s route, the exact same, but without Claude. Ok so that means Seteth gets a lot of development in this route right? No, not really, he’s just kind of there. Rather than Seteth being the lord of the route it’s more like this is a lord-less route. Ghost Dimitri is a really cool scene, for sure, but outside of that seriously screw this route. You might think “well but I like Rhea, I want to be on her side”, well spoiler alert kiddo: you literally fight Rhea in this route, she’s the final boss. And you don’t get to hang out with her all that much either so forget about that. While I dislike Rhea, I think having a route for her is reasonable since that sickening mommy fetish is so popular these days so of course you’d want to pander to that audience for that sweet cash, but people who like Rhea don’t even get that because you have to actually kill her at the end (which I actually really like, it made the church route Actually Good for me, plus it’s a really fun level despite being yet another fight at Garreg Mach, more on that later). Also in this route you don’t get to see Rhea in her Seiros armor that is 10/10 hot as shit so why even bother, go play Edelgard’s route if you want to see some actually cool Rhea scenes and quotes.

edit: just been informed Rhea does live if you S-support her, kind of disappointed but ok, that’s pretty good for all who liked her and it makes sense.

II. Claude, the master tactician

“Ugh, don’t call me that”, Even he’s fed up with the title

My favorite of the three lords in the game is easily Claude but it’s pretty unfair that he survives every single route (unless you actively choose not to spare him in Edelgard’s route), whereas Dimitri and Edelgard always die outside of their routes. But that’s not the worst of him, what I hate about him is how he gets hyped up as THE MASTER STRATEGIST whenever other characters speak of him. Granted, writing a “Smart” character is hard because you have to be smart or else the readers won’t buy it, but the writers don’t even try and instead make him out to be a complete fool in almost every route (he’s actually pretty smart in the church route imo, but he’s also never seen in that one).

In his route, he does exhibit some degree of strategy and thought, devising a trap to protect Garreg Mach (by setting his allies on fire???) and doing a bit of a Trojan Horse when seizing Fort Merceus. However, if you play Dimitri’s route, Gilbert suggests doing the fire thing, and in the church route you just infiltrate Fort Merceus in the exact same way. So congratulations Claude, you’re about as smart as... Gilbert, a character that no one ever refers to as a strategic or military genius. This is another case of routes weighting down other routes, if you only play his route you think “oh yeah, he’s smart, he Trojan Horse’d the empire, what an absolute madlad”, but once you play the other routes it’s like, oh, ok, I guess that’s just meant to happen that way whichever side you choose.

Ok, maybe he’s not a genius master strategist in his story, sure, after all Byleth is the tactician so of course he’d take a back seat, but what about as an enemy commander? he’s gotta have some devious map design to back up his claim to genius, right? Wrong.

In Dimitri’s route you fight Claude and Edelgard post-timeskip at Gronder Field just like you did before the timeskip. In this battle, Claude’s objective is to stop Edelgard. You think to yourself, oh that’s wonderful, an ally! Together we’ll crush that evil snake together! Except his army focuses yours, instead of going straight for Edelgard, as he did in the very same battle pre-timeskip. The game says there’s some fog, but guess what, this game HAS a fog mechanic to make some maps have low-visibility, and that fog is not present in this map! As such, he comes off as a total doofus in this chapter. This battle feels like Batman v Superman, a fight that just “has” to happen to sell the idea that the heroes are against each other, but Batman and Superman shouldn’t be fighting at all to begin with, they’re on the same side! They only fight because it’s the “hype” thing to do. Sigh.

Later on in the same route Claude is attacked by the empire in his hometown. His “master strategy” is to corner himself against an army that outnumbers his army 10:1, and trust that Dimitri will save him, the very same Dimitri that nearly killed him a couple days ago at Gronder Field. This is a pretty stupid and naive strategy on it’s own, but it gets worse once you look at the enemy troops in this map. They are all horses or infantry, not a single flier. Claude himself, he rides a wyvern. He could’ve escaped out to the sea, you might even think that’s his plan, but no, because Judith is there in the map and she certainly isn’t riding a wyvern, same goes for all his other men. Imagine the mockery, the sheer audacity of driving your enemy into a corner and thinking you’ll kill him only for all his men to suddenly get on wyverns and escape from you, which is possible thanks to the mount/unmount mechanic. Just imagine, you’re trying to save him and upon reaching halfway through the map, he and all his men get on wyverns and escape, saying they’ll trust you to take care of the empire as they run away, as you realize he just fooled you into taking out the trash for him. It would’ve been awesome! A moment worthy of The Master Trickster, but no, you just have to kill the boss before he kills Claude and Judith and that’s the map, that’s the whole thing.

And don’t even get me started on his map on Edelgard’s route. For a whole month people hype Claude up to be John Von Neumann combined with The Joker and Sun Tzu, so I’m expecting his level to be a really twisted one: warps, damaging terrain, falco knights with horse slayers, ballistae, swordmasters with armorslayers, siege tomes, sleep staves, berserk staves, etc. Instead, the level in which you fight against Claude has basically 0 unusual terrains, his “master strategy” is to just call for reinforcements until you cut off the source of reinforcements. This means that his “incredibly genius master tactic of galaxy-brain depth” is to use brute force, which is literally the exact opposite of clever tactics. Needless to say, this was to me the biggest disappointment, really wasted that opportunity to make a level that’s actually unique.

Then you go on to fight Dimitri’s right afterwards and guess what: his map has a siege tome user(with decent crit rate!), it has a unique monster gimmick where you have to kill an enemy every turn to avoid them turning into monsters, it has 4 commanders all calling for reinforcements leaving you to choose wisely which one needs to be stopped first, it has a river separating both sides of the map so that your teams have to be cleanly split up if going for multiple objectives, etc. It’s my favorite level in the game because it’s well thought out, interesting and basically more like what you’d expect of the mission where you’d fight a tactical mastermind. Sigh.

III. Ideological Conflict (a lack of it)

This is my biggest issue with the game

I really memed myself playing Edelgard's route so early because as I said previously it feels like a shin megami tensei chaos-route. She is fighting for an ideal, and so I falsely developed the hope that the game would have an ideological conflict. If you play Claude's route, you see that he is also fighting for his ideals, dude wants to end racism, that is awesome! However even when the characters do fight each other, their ideals are never in conflict. In Edelgard’s paralogue you fend off an almyrian invasion but she tells Byleth that she wishes they could be allies, and that in the future they should sit down and talk with almyrians to make their relationship better. In Claude’s route he is often fed up with the church’s historical revisionism and you can see he holds a lot of contempt for the institution as a whole. Edelgard and Claude may fight each other due to circumstance but their ideals are never against each other, in fact they kind of want the same things. And surely enough, Dimitri also thinks racism is whack, which is mostly explored through his relationship with Dedue. But Dimitri just doesn’t really believe in anything, in his route he’s completely reactive to the forces around him, there’s just no ideal world that he’s working towards, instead he just deals with the bullshit others have set in his way (not that there’s anything actually wrong with that, it’s just really underwhelming when the other stories are about ideals).

And really that’s ok. Like I said this is a problem of my own I memed myself into thinking I was playing a much better game, and only have myself to blame for those expectations. It’s very normal of intelligent systems to not want to put into the game a playable character who is racist or anti-equality. Except we have Lorenz and Ferdinand, two characters that are so fiercely pro-aristocracy I started the game hating them(nowadays Ferdinand is easily in my top 5). Ferdinand believes that nobility is a cross to be carried for the good of the people and that rather than a highway to an easy life, it is a tremendous responsibility to bear and that commoners are better off relying on a noble like himself to make their lives better.

Nobility being a cross is something supported by the narrative! There are many characters dissatisfied with their lives solely because they were born as nobles and have to deal with problems exclusive to nobles, most notably Sylvain, Ingrid and then Mercedes who straight up becomes a commoner because of the pressure of nobility. Lorenz on the other hand has been pressured by his family so much he’s a completely brainwashed tool of the aristocrats, but as the game progresses he gets his head out of his ass and becomes a more likeable character.

“Edelgard intends to abolish the nobility, but I know I can disuade her”, Ferdinand you bumbling fool, that is literally her main policy, have you ever actually listened to her?

Those two show it is possible for the team to write characters with bad ideals and then develop them into likeable ones, they just didn’t feel like having a lord that upholds bad ideals and grows out of them or is betrayed by their shortcomings. Hell, just imagine if after the last chapter in black eagles those who slither betrayed Edelgard instantly, showing that allying yourself with villainous people only because they’re convenient is sure to lead to betrayal. It would’ve been a sobering moment to see her say that maybe, maybe pairing up with mustache-twirling bad guys might have been a bad idea after all and having to really consider the damage she might have caused by letting them co-exist with her for her goals. Instead her route just ends, significantly shorter than all others. Aghhh. But yeah, this is a problem of my own expectations because fire emblem never had amazingly complex stories to begin with (I know I know, genealogy is supposed to be pretty deep, but that was over 20 years ago, it’s just not relevant to modern fire emblem until it gets a remake).

“Wait so you want Dimitri to be racist?” Oh hell no. Dimitri is literally perfect as he is, just look at him. What I’m saying is he should’ve gotten his own game, because he doesn’t fit in with the other two lords in this game as he has no vision of how the world should be (other than “Good”) and no ideological struggle he needs the world to understand. His story just doesn’t need Fodlan. The kicker is that his house, were it not for their tight and adorable friendship, is the one that is more likely to side with Edelgard as Sylvain, Mercedes, Ingrid, and Felix all hate nobility/aristocracy, and Ashe’s dad whom he idolizes literally gets sentenced to death by the church. Dimitri on a solo game would’ve been a cool story (better than Fates that’s for sure). But in three houses he doesn’t complement the other two lords, and the other two lords also bring him down. It’s what I’ve been saying: the routes just don’t complement each other. Remember how I said many people played Blue Lions and then just flat out refused to play the other routes? It sounded like I was belittling them but those people were right, they’re living their best life and I applaud them, they truly beat the game.

Worth noting that the church route is technically, from an outside perspective, a pro-aristocracy route. The black eagles students are all aristocrats except for Dorothea, and in this route it’d be a fair observation to say that they’re a bunch of spoiled kids who are trying to preserve the status-quo because they don’t want to give up their lands and servants. Obviously this isn’t how the route approaches character motivations, but an incisive in-world historian would’ve made this scathing observation by simply looking at who’s spearheading the revolt against the emperor: a bunch of rich kids.

IV. The Pre-Timeskip common route (FOUR times)

Moving onto gameplay-related nitpicks: what were they thinking? There’s like 13 chapters before the timeskip in every route, and they are always the same missions regardless of which house you choose. One of them is to kill Ashe’s dad and the other one is to kill Sylvain’s brother, you would think those missions would be exclusive to the blue lions and that other routes would have an equivalent for them: a story that hits home, that gets personal with one of the characters you chose and more importantly that just plays differently across all the routes. Instead the game would have you play the same missions 4 times so that you end up dreading the sight of them, on top of them having no real relation to the characters you’re using in 3/4ths of the routes. If the dlc route has me defend Garreg Mach even one more time, I’ll just go insane. Speaking of that:

V. Dimitri, Claude and Church route all have same maps

If you feel like playing all four routes, it’s gonna feel like you’re just playing the exact same game over and over. The maps you play in are literally all the same. And Edelgard isn’t scot-free either, but at least in her maps you fight from the other perspective of the map you know, you’re at least coming at it from another angle (though she will still have you defend Garreg Mach post-timeskip, completely negating the pleasure of not doing that pre-timeskip). I get it: these maps are huge, and they’re highly detailed because you can zoom in and literally see the battalions and all that, it’s really super neat and takes a lot of time to make so you can’t just have a hundred maps. But I mean by the end of the game (that is, playing all four routes) looking at any of the maps feels so tiring. I feel like I might just never replay any of the routes at least for a very long time because I’ve grown sick of seeing them over and over and over so many times. And dear lord, if I have to play Flayn’s paralogue one more time without fliers I’ll just shoot myself. Speaking of fliers.

VI. Fliers are absurdly broken

Literally what were they thinking. Wyvern Riders have absolutely insane stats and thanks to the dismount feature, they lose nothing by being in that class. The last levels in Claude and Edelgard’s routes are severely favored toward fliers too, both of them featuring tons of damaging terrain that is hard to cross for horses, though at least Nemesis has the decency of having many ballistae set up (probably because Claude himself is a flier so they expect you to have at least one). Also all that damaging terrain screws over horses because they thought horses were broken or something. But really, you’d think mobility is such an important stat that they’d compensate for it elsewhere, but no, all you lose is the opportunity cost of not having more crit as a war master (which female characters don’t have access to anyway) or being able to use magic. And horse units just get screwed over in every conceivable way, you’d expect that they at least get some beefy additional stats over wyvern riders but instead they’re actually weaker since wyverns are faster and speed is such an important stat. Also wyverns have so much defense that even in hard mode arrows (their supposed weakness) will have trouble denting them (or even hitting them thanks to their extremely high avoid).

edit: I also invite you to look at the growth rate modifiers for each class and see that all horse classes provide a negative speed growth rate, which is bad enough without realizing that wyverns are so minmaxed they even provide a cute minus 5 magic as a “balance” while getting boosts to both defense and speed in their final class. Are you kidding me? Horses are basically a player trap, they look cool and they’re half the master classes so they gotta be useful, right? Couldn’t be more wrong. Also what’s the deal with mortal savant providing -10% speed growth, that shit is bananas, how could the Naruto class hamper your speed if Naruto is all about that running, IT’S INSANE.

This is all exacerbated once you go for a low-turn-count playthrough, a fairly popular style of play among fans of the series where as the name indicates you try to beat the levels in as few turns as possible. Suddenly fliers go from clearly the strongest, to necessary. What’s absurd is how fliers are affected by the Stride battalion in the same way all other units are. Stride is a battalion effect that allows a group of units to have higher movement for one turn, your little walking units suddenly being able to walk 12 squares like it’s nothing feels pretty good but this battalion can also boost the movement of fliers and horses which means: why would you waste it on infantry units? It would’ve been so easy, and would’ve made so much sense for stride to only work on walking units, or to at least have reduced effectiveness on mounted units, but they just completely forgot that.

I knew I should’ve gone wyvern, could’ve had way more 1′s

VII. Crests

Oh wow, a neat game feature where each character has a unique skill related to their bloodline, and the story acknowledges their existence by saying they’re so highly valued they decide who’s noble and who isn’t. Surely they came up with really interesting effects for all of them, right? Wrong. “Raise Mt when using skills”, “Raise Mt when using magic”, “Raise Mt when attacking”. This shit is boring. But hey it’s ok right, you can’t expect them to come up with unique interesting skills for each character to have right? Except they did, each character (crest-bearer or not) has a personal skill, and they are all way more interesting than crests. The only non-boring crests are the ones bore by Annete, Mercedes, Hilda and Ferdinand. And Annete doesn’t even learn meteor, so her magic-conservation isn’t even that amazing once she becomes a gremory, though it probably is fairly useful if she becomes a dark knight instead. I will say though, crests are still way better than the personal crit skills from radiant dawn, like Stun and the like which were basically glorified critical hits in some cases or straight up silencers in the case of luna or eclipse (hell, those skills got so bad that the endgame is filled with Nihil wielders, characters who just straight up cancel the activation of enemy skills because the game itself had to patch them out preemptively due to how ridiculous they were, but at least they were impressive and memorable and not just “raise Mt a little bit sometimes” are you kidding me).

VIII. Lost items

Up until now these have all been nitpicks but if anything gets my blood boiling is those dreaded lost items, a gameplay feature that I just straight up gave up on and never looked back. You find a billion lost items throughout the monastery, which is great, an item that shows the personality of the character that lost it, and once you return it to them your affection grows. The problem is that there’s really like a hundred of them, and they’re not hard to find but rather are a pain to give back to their owners, for the screen where you select them doesn’t allow for any kind of sorting options. How hard was it isys?? I press X and the items are ordered alphabetically, was that really so hard? You really expect me to rummage through this endless list until I find the right one from the sea of really small text for ants? THIS IS THE REAL GAMEBREAKER, THIS IS WHERE IT ALL FALLS APART AND I REALIZE THIS GAME IS A TOOL OF THE DEVIL TO WRECK HAVOC INTO THE SOULS OF ALL PLAYERS.

In the end

So yeah, basically it’s a pretty good game, I’d say at least a 9/10 and unironically among my favorite fire emblems. I won’t go into detail about what I like because that’s not the point of the post and really who gives a shit, but it’s really good and I can’t wait for the dlc next year! Also this:

(also please let magic always function like in this game where instead of tomes and staves you have a set number of uses per encounter like it’s dungeons and dragons, that shit ruled)

edit: I did another post about the maddening difficulty, you might like it if you have read this far

#fire emblem #review?#vent post #deep analysis

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aspoonofsugar · 5 years

Note

Who are your top 10 female characters?

Hello anon,

Here is my list in no particular order.

1) Akane Tsunemori (Psycho Pass)

Akane is my favourite character in Psycho Pass followed closely by Makishima. I think she has the best development in the whole series and I like the twist of her being a dystopic heroine who is able to affirm her own identity not by defying the system, but by accepting to work for it in her own way. All in all her point of view is original and refreshing and the scene where she finally reaches it together with her two speeches about the law in the final episode are some of my favourite moments in the series.

Generally speaking I love her because she is an example of an idealist whose idealism is challenged, but reaffirmed in the end in a way which is deeper and more powerful than before.

I like this kind of character and this is why in her section I am mentioning also two other female characters who share this trait.

The first is Madoka Kaname (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

She starts the series as a naive girl who wants to grow up and believes in hope, but the story slowly destroys her innocent perspective of the world. However, by the end she manages to acquire a deeper knowledge of herself and of the world and re-affirms her ideals in a very powerful way through her final wish.

The second one is Nao Kanzaki (Liar Game):

Nao is described as a girl honest to a fault which makes her not the best candidate to take part in a game where the players have to trick and lie to each other. However, this doesn’t lead Nao to become a cynical person, but makes her reflect on why people lie and through the series she realizes that doubting people is part of the process to come to know them. I also like that she never becomes a genius strategist, but that she is able to show a different kind of intelligence rooted in the fact that she looks at things from a different perspective.

2) Alluka (and Nanika) Zoldyck (HxH):

Alluka has yet to have a proper arc and major focus, but I just love the idea behind her character and how symbolic it is. All in all she is a child who wants to be loved and to whom it has been taught that love is conditional. She is objectified in many different ways by the people around her and I like how her character is about showing that this behaviour is wrong.

3) Toph (ATLA)

Toph is the reason why I became so invested in the series. Her debut episode is one of my favourites and I love how Toph bending style developed in a way that let her overcome her blindness. At the same time, she has a wonderful personality and is incredibly well characterized.

4) Azula (ATLA)

Azula’s arc in season three is incredibly tragic and well built in my opinion. I especially like how the episode “The Beach” lets us get a glimpse at Azula’s issues and at how she refuses to aknowledge them and keeps repressing her feelings. This is probably what leads to her downfall.

All in all, I really love female villains, so there are two other characters who will be mentioned in this section.

Eto Yoshimura (TG):

I am not happy about her arc and focus being dropped suddenly, but despite it, I really like Eto as a character. I like her background and aesthetic. Moreover, it was very interesting to have a writer as an antagonist and I loved how her interiority was reflected in her books and how her stories were commentaries of the main plot.

Claudia McCunnen (Phantom: A Requiem for the Phantom):

Claudia is an antagonist I really like. Her motivations are complex and rooted both in the loss of her brother and in her desire for power. She uses her looks and sexuality to advance in the world, but is also extremely cunning and an incredible manipulator. All in all, it is very interesting how she foils Scythe Master in the way she manipulates others. Scythe takes away the will of his victims, whereas Claudia makes so that her subordinates follow her out of (what they think to be) freedom.

Despite this, her idea of free will and of living one’s life in freedom are obviously very important for the series and for the characters of Reiji and Ellen specifically.

5) Ellen (Phantom: A Requiem for the Phantom):

Despite the fact that Reiji is the main POV character of the series, Ellen is the character the story ends up revolving around. She is the one with the best arc and the one whose development receives the most focus. I really like her evolution and how she starts out as a person without a will or an identity and ends the series by affirming who she in front of the man who abused her.

What is more, I find her defense mechanism very interesting. Basically, in order to face the life of an assassin which was imposed on her, Ellen has been repressing both her feelings and will and kills only on others’ orders. It is explained that if she did not do so, she would lose herself in the horror of killing. Despite this and her lack of memories, the narrative makes clear early on that her sense of self is not lost, but simply hidden and the way it is conveyed through little hints is very beautiful.

6) Cal Devens (Phantom: A Requiem for the Phantom)

Cal is Ellen’s opposite both in terms of characterization and as far as her arc is concerned. For example, Ellen’s problem is that she represses her feelings, whereas Cal lets herself be completely controlled by her strong emotions to the point that she becomes self-destructive. Her arc is the most tragic in the series imo since she starts as a child craving love and stability and then starts spiralling and becomes an assassin after she feels left behind by the person she trusted the most.

Her change is not really shown happening because of a time-skip, but despite how much different she appears in the last part of the series, I think this transformation is consistent with what we are shown before of her. All in all, what I like about her is how well characterized she is and the way specific motifs and details are taken and twisted after her negative change to underline how tragic the whole situation is. Her last scenes are among my favourites in the series and she has my favourite theme song of all the characters. It also helps that said theme song is used beautifully in the series and in a pretty symbolic way.

7) Nina Fortner (Monster)

Nina has my favourite arc in Monster. I love how she starts by repressing her past and assuming she can just push forward without ever aknowledging the dark part of herself, but then she starts a journey of self-discovery which is painful, but makes so that she can become wiser and happier in the end. The way she changes her mind about how justice works is also very beautiful.

Finally, the twist of the Red Rose Mansion is one of my favourite twists ever and her dynamic with Johan (another fave of mine) is fascinating.

8) Kyouko Sakura (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

All in all I love all the girls in Madoka, but I have always had a soft spot for Kyouko. I like characters who present themselves as negative and then turn out to be good eggs and it is what happens with Kyouko. I really like how she presents herself as a cynic, but has actually a very idealistic part and a strong faith she never truly lost despite her tragic background. Her past itself is very interesting and sad and I love how it is expanded in Another Story. Talking of that extra I really enjoyed Kyouko’s relationship with Mami there and the way they became each other’s families (of course I also like her relationship and foiling with Sayaka in the series). Another thing I found very interesting in the extra story is the fact that Kyouko’s powers are shown and that we are explained how she became unable to use them because of her subconsciously refusing her wish. It is a very cool detail which perfectly shows how Kyouko’s defense mechanism consists in her refusing a part of herself which is the same part she sees and despises in Sayaka.

Speaking of characters who appear harsh, but have a very sensitive side to them, I would also like to mention another character in this section.

Touka Kirishima (TG)

Touka’s arc in TG is my favourite and all in all I like her transformation in :re even if I think far more could have been done with her character. For example, I would have loved for her to confront Eto as an embodyment and possible evolution of Yoshimura’s ideals. It could have led to very interesting developments for both characters and to a beautiful resolution of both their arcs.

That said, I still loved to see how she changed at the beginning of :re and her confrontation with Kaneki in Cochlea is still one of my favourite scenes.

However, the reason why she is among my favourites is how well done her character is in TG. Her parallel and inversed arc to Kaneki’s is just very beautiful and hopeful. Touka is a person who does an effort to understan and to try to communicate with others and seeing her struggle, fail and get better at it is wonderful.

I also love the chapters of her and Ayato’s past and how they explain the two siblings’ personalities perfectly and manage to make both characters thematically resonant for the human-ghoul conflict since they come to embody two different pov on what it means to be a ghoul.

9) Akemi Homura (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

Homura is probably the most important character in the whole series since she is the reason why the plot itself happens. I like how active she is in the plot and the plot twist about her past is beautifully built throughout the series. I really like the episode where we are shown her transformation since it manages to make this extreme change belieavable despite having it done in one single episode. Her flaw os not accepting Madoka’s leaving her is also an extremely relatable one.

10) Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)

Luna is one of my favourite archetypes that is the airheaded genius. Since they are not characters who are easy to handle there are not many around who have central roles in stories, but I love this kind of character whenever I meet it.

This is also why I love Shizuku Murasaki (HxH):

Shizuku is a very minor character, but I love her being characterized as a girl who easily forgets things, but at the same time is pretty intelligent since she manages to understand the meaning of Neon’s prophecies and is able to come up with great strategies in her battle against the Ants.

Honorable mentions go to the snk girls who are not in this list mostly because I want to first see how their arcs end. Among them, I particularly love Gabi, Historia and Mikasa.

Thank you very much for this aks anon! It was very fun to write!

#asksfullofsugar #anonymous #akane tsunemori #madoka kaname #nao kanzaki #alluka zoldyck #toph beifong #azula #eto yoshimura #claudia mccunnen #ellen #ein #cal devens #nina fortner #kyouko sakura #touka kirishima #akemi homura #luna lovegood #shizuku murasaki

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kae-karo · 6 years

Note

Hi I used to be into the phandom so much but fell out in like??? 2017??? Maybe??? Has anything big happened at all? Has anyone died/caught on fire ( ;) )??

oh dear god where do i begin??? well fortunately both our lads are still alive. let me just start with saying 2018 has been like. probably the best year for dnp to date? i’ll try to go in some kind of order here but bear with me i’ll touch on a bit of 2017 stuff and then go into 2018 for ya

so first of all i’m not sure when you left the phandom in 2017 but the lads moved out of their previous flat in april of last year (x) (april-ish it was def before they posted the vid)

also our dear lil dani snot on fire is no longer not on fire (x) so uhh is he on fire now ig? i mean yeah that’s arguably true

*insert phil’s badaladala sound bc on the scale of Significant Things i don’t think anything else massive happened*

day one of demon month, we got this amazing vid from phil wherein viewers (aka dan) picked his outfits n he looked like a snacc and a half (would’ve been 2 snaccs if he’d embraced the quiff sooner but that’s getting ahead of things) (x)

!!!! then a week or so later dan posted his vid ‘daniel and depression’ where he opened up abt his struggle with depression (x) which was imo the start of him just being more open about himself in general. he also started working with young minds (a mental health org for young people in the uk) and shortly thereafter with prince william’s program to help prevent cyberbullying

then! on the day love was invented! dnp released their board game, truth bombs (x - yeah i linked the second vid and not the first, and wot) which u can buy if you’d like but it’s a lot of fun (x)

then these idiots did a conjoined jumper baking challenge and didn’t fucking wear shirts under the jumper like what dumb gays idk (x) but it was real funny and Good Content

then early nov dnp announced the interactive introverts tour (x) and then uhhh it happened (like 80+ shows??? in a ton of countries???) (x) and they’re releasing the filming of it along with some bonus content like a director’s commentary and u can preorder it (x)

also pinof 9 happened which as a legacy phan u know is always a Thing but this year it was especially a Thing so i recommend catching up (x, and the bloops - x)

and phew okay that’s the majority of 2017 Important Events but before i go on to 2018 i’ll just recap a few important events from dapg (basically just some gamingmas stuff):

wherein dan smacked phil in the face

and phil crushed the presents but dan helped him up

where phil pretended not to remember gamingmas was happening, leading to the most iconic simultaneous heart eyes howell/love eyes lester to date

dnp singing baby it’s cold outside together whilst playing yasuhati

iconic pinof 9 moment

dnp play charades but it’s phil’s turn, and he’s touchy

the not my arms challenge!!! playing mario kart

okay! and before anyone starts yelling i know there’s more but god if i put every iconic thing in this post would break there’s Too Much so let’s hop into 2018 bc it’s gonna be a long one

first i cannot believe dan fucking gave phil a philussy cake and phil’s parents asked phil what it meant jfc dan (x)

THE EARRING!!! dan’s first selfie with the lil hoop and it never leaves and we love it (x)

phil is just trying to take a selfie and dan ruins it (x) spoiler alert: phil gets him back in colorado (x)

okay big sigh two large events happen in march: the first, dan’s ‘trying to live my truth’ vid (x) it basically dan saying ‘i’m still figuring things out but i want to be more authentic and true to myself, and also authenticity is important for some people to feel happy in life’ vid that a lot of people hyperfixated on the end line of, where he said he would go ‘laugh at a joke with a chocolate bar and...something else in my mouth’ which people assumed meant a dick and therefore it was a subtle coming out vid, dan did a liveshow afterward (x) wherein he said that wasn’t the point of the vid and people got mad at him for ‘backtracking’ (if u want more of my Opinions on this feel free to check em out - x)

the second v v big event happened at the end of march when phil posted this iconic selfie that would be the downfall of the fringe (x) this has been titled the quiffening by some

shortly after that he began styling his hair in a quiff permanently which was probably the best decision he’s made since responding to one of his obsessed fans back in 2009

quick detour dan’s proud of his hubby (x) for winning fortnite and ‘fuxkung’ is now what ‘fucking’ autocorrects to in my phone

we also had dan releasing his merch (x) which is basically all black and themed around the eclipse logo and ‘don’t talk to me’, though he just released the exist line for world mental health day which has his quote ‘have the courage to exist’. he’s also mentioned possibly wanting to do more creative things like wide-necked or asymmetrical shirts dan just do a fashion line pls oh and he mentioned in a recent ls he might do an internet support group mug sometime soon

and then,,,,,pigeonfest. we watched. five hours. of phil livestreaming their patio. and literally nothing happened bc someone was like down on the street feeding pigeons so there weren’t even any pigeons for like 90% of the liveshow. but he literally didn’t talk it was just five hours of their patio and we all watched it. we all just watched it like the whipped phannies we are (x)

and then we got a brief but overwhelming dose of,,,,,,something from the easter baking vid (x) phil was hopped up on sugar and also confidence from his quiff and probably smth else as well

everything just blows up from there we have giving the people what they want (x) where, in preparation for ii (for which the underlying theme was ‘giving people what they want’), dnp reacted to pinof 1, swapped clothes, did the ‘yoga challenge’, recreated ditl manchester, ‘got a dog’, and made phil say fuck. honestly it shook the entire phandom to its core at the time but like. i’m less shooketh now? it’s sort of just fallen by the wayside in terms of how unpredictable dnp have been this year

then phil drops week in the life of dnp shortly thereafter which is just very very domestic even for them and their ditl style vids??? (x) phil filming dan in bed being one of the big demon highlights at the time

it’s right around this time too that insta stories start and my god it just goes jfc like i don’t even have the mental capacity to recall all the Iconic ones but i recommend checking out this playlist (x) which has all the ii tour stories goddamn there were a lot though they really put out that content didn’t they

in early may we get phil talking about why he changed his emo hair (x) and arguably the first official vid of the casual rebrand - phil’s more open and genuinely vulnerable about his fears about making a change to his hair, and i don’t think we’ve ever seen him that open before. the vids don’t stop being open though, with what dnp text each other (x) giving us coop and doop along with other iconic stories, dnp basically sitting on top of each other in that and other gaming vids on the tour bus, phil being very open abt his attraction to men (x) and the iconic final google feud vid with way too much of a specific kind of Energy (x) (ofc again there are More Vids but i don’t have the time/mental capacity to recap them all so i’m pickin the Big Ones)

monochrome mates (x)

phew okay so the tour in general as well - like if u don’t mind spoilers, i did a big ol analysis of what that was all about (x) but one of many many highlights is dan calling he and phil “best friends and soulmates”

finally finally finally after months of waiting we also get some phil merch! (x) plant and animal themed, and he even released a lion plushie which sold out like instantly and he claimed he’d do more of but we have yet to see that. he says he’s got more ideas for other merch as well

now okay fast forward to october after the tour’s over bc i think the insta stories and the analysis cover it but then. then. then we get the pizza mukbang (x) thirty three minutes of dnp being more open and honest and casual than literally they’ve ever been on camera maybe ever, and i’m including liveshows in this statement. no holds barred, authentic vulnerable dnp. a religious experience

end of october spooky week hits us and i think the key vid to call out here is the creepy mind of phil lester bc i think it was another open honest authentic vid (x) where they talked a lot, casual domestic w.e got some insight into phil’s mind it was v good

and then they carve pumpkins jfc which was an experience (x) there were a lot of innuendos but also one of the first years they didn’t do a halloween baking in a while (though they have hinted at possibly doing christmas baking) idk i’m fully overwhelmed at this point lmao like a Lot happened this year

phew okay and Then just yesterday philly dropped his vid on why he went to (the) hospital (x) idk soz that’s a british thing i think like we say ‘the’ anyway. which i’ve been talking abt quite a lot lately but it was another very open and honest vid in which he expressed a lot of vulnerability and fear and perceived flaws and it was just a quality like. open vid.

jfc okay hope that helps obviously there’s a lot i didn’t mention, but this should at least get you caught up on some of the big stuff!! and while i’m at it have a few more Important Gifs from this year

a very important moment of communication whilst on tour, deciding whether or not they’re okay with doing a ‘third wheel’ pose

dan flinging himself off the chair in anger whilst playing getting over it

nose boop from phil’s instagram explore pages vid

subsequent nose boop from the extreme tetris vid

and a cheek boop from the overcooked 2 vid

dan pulling phil’s hand off the mouse in fear during spooky week, swamp simulator (shrek slender)

touchy!dan during pizza mukbang

oh god. okay. again, this is not everything, just a big list of some big events over the past year-ish. i’m sure i’ve missed some important stuff but i think i covered most of it! hope this helps ya get caught up dear!

#dnp #so dan and phil in 2018 eh #what's that about #phan #dip and pip #kt #anon #ask

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1358456 · 5 years

Text

Review Response, June 23-29, 2019

I totally forgot about this until right now. Whoops! My bad.

And also, starting with this post, each weekly review response will now show the updated graphs... charts (I keep saying graphs but they’re more charts...) of the stories that got the reviews.

Destiny #010

1) OH GOD. I KNEW IT. Y'S GOING TO DIE. THE WHOLE THING WITH X AND NOT THINKING OH HER AS "HIS GIRL" WAS A BUILD-UP OF SOME SORT. This will only cause X grief as it was one of the last things he said about Y before she died. Ohhhhh god. Poor Y, she tried so hard. I simply cannot imagine being attacked like that. And speaking of being attacked, Sapphire? Really has to get over her fear. I know its difficult love, but you're hindering the rest of your team! But anyways, going back to Y, the way she was dominating at first made me soooo happy. Finally! Proof that they can win! But nope. I still can't get over it. A death so soon... unless she miraculously survives. But tbh I can't see how.

Also nil I forgot Silver even existed for a moment there. When you mentioned him, I was completely take by surprise lmao. I don't blame you or anything, it's really hard to focus on a lot of dexholders in one chapter. But I was surprised to find that none were mentioned at the end, the it hit me that of course they weren't. They've got their own battles (problems) to deal with. Those shiny pokemon aren't going to disappear by themselves. Although I hope and pray that they do. But I am really interested as to how this battle will end. Will the dexholders prevail? Will they be defeated? Or will they retreat with their tails in between their legs? So many questions. And there can be so many answers. I'm hoping that they will win, but I just don't think that is likely tho. They've practiced yes, but it's probably not enough. They need years of practice before they can get to his level.

Also I forgot to mention, but I started sweating when I realized that Emerald still had his Mega bracelet thing I forgot what it's called. I was like "Ho boiiiiii." One could easily predict that he would be targeted first. Or at least second only to Y. But I feel like Peter is definitely using the Salamence to his advantage. I mean who wouldn't? That's one dexholder down.

Speaking of Sapphire, I absolutely love how you added in that bet between her and Gold. Like I said previously the balance of fun and not fun (?) is absolutely amazing. And I can only imagine a lot of people there probably face palmed. Which I get but like it's also a fabulous way to motivate someone (especially two competitive dexholders like them) to fight. But I doubt that that either of them will still have the heart to order around the other person after this battle. Well... then again this is Gold and Sapphire we're talking about. They are two people who might still do it. And it makes for a perfect opportunity for comedy later on. Nicely played.

I've decided to use paragraphs 'cause I tend to wander in my reviews, and it makes it easier to process. I'm sorry of this review isn't as good as the others. To be honest they only thing I feel I can say now, is about how good your writing is. But that gets tiring. And I'll make sure to shut up about Peter being so powerful later on. But I'll admit you're legit making me worried.

Anyways, thank you. Its been a pleasure like always.

I didn’t really think of that as a build-up. More like... “the f*ck, X?”. If I recall, I put that line in there because he says it in the XY arc, and it was incomprehensible... at the time. And yes. Poor heartbroken Y... :( And death so soon? This is chapter 10. It’s too soon*! And yes, Sapphire needs to get over the Salamence weakness... which she has in Destiny because this was before that scene in ORAS where Sapphire did not give a FUCK, since there was no time for such trivial things. Damn ORAS...

Silver? ... Oh yeah. That’s right. Heh. Not only are there a lot of Dex Holders in the mess, but there are those who I just do not give a damn about, who always wind up being forgotten as the focus of the chapter is elsewhere. Hehe. And the Dex Holders don’t need years of practice... they just need to embrace the game mechanics!! Hehe. ... What, is a Modest Rhyperior going to win against an Adamant one if it practiced? Heh.

The Salamence over-usage is not only because of how it cripples Sapphire, but also because the guy the Mega Hunter is based on generally always has a Salamence in his singles team. ... Usually with Choice Band and Moxie and Outrage. One-shot a guy, get Moxie boost. One-shot the next guy, get another Moxie boost. And one-shot the next guy. 3 Pokemon down in 3 turns. ... And then it usually hits itself in confusion and deals like 75% damage to itself.

Ah, the competitive rivalry between Gold and Sapphire! The one that’s hardly ever mentioned by anyone else... It’s fun, though. And all lighthearted. They always need to get the one-up on each other. Heh.

I do like the new paragraphs! It makes it easier for me to respond! I really do appreciate your reviews! :)

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Destiny #011

1) If shit wasn't already real, it is now. I honestly love the tension between Platinum and Sapphire, and it makes sense. They're the complete opposite of each other, one's quite literally wild, while the other is as refined as possible. It's only natural that they should clash. But I must admit, Platinum was being exceedingly rude. Like goddamn, you're fresh out of a battle, you need to find a new teammate and Sapphire is giving the perfect way in order to find her. Who cares if someone sees you with a girl sniffing. Stepping back was petty, though I'll also admit that Sapphire was being a but rude to Platinum when she told Platinum to just follow her. But it's simply Sapphire's way (as it is Platinum's), so I guess I can't complain too much. But I'm still rather peeved.

So, Peter thinks that the dexholders will get better, huh? That's new. Usually villains will boast and get cocky, and that usually leads to their downfall. Seems as if Peter is not going down that path. I found that a nice thing for you to add, because it only adds on to how clever this dude is. Like the little clues you leave for certain things, I'm not sure whether you write them on purpose, but some of them I notice and it only gladdens me.

In any case, I did not think Peter was going to manipulate Oak and Daisy. That actually quite surprised me, but in reality its a great way to gain information. After all, knowledge is power. And the more you know about your enemy, the more of an advantage you have. Meanwhile the dexholders don't know anything about him, only that that he wants to kill them for reasons? And some of the strategies he uses. Yikes indeed. Red voiced this perfectly in this chapter, with those questions of his. (And if I'm correct) I believe that this is another one of those "clues" I mentioned earlier. I believe Red might be the one to find out the answers to those questions, as he was the one to ask them. But that might just me looking too far into it. And I'm not exactly sure that that is a clue lmao. Ah well, a girl can come up with as big of theories as she so wishes.

Also, could it be possible that for a future strategy, they use Yellow for her healing? I mean, it seems practical. Their pokemon are not strong enough, and they drop one by one so easily. And while it seems rather cruel to constantly heal them only to fight again, that is reality. We do it all the time in the games and actually that brings me to another topic. The world of pokemon is wonky. We just capture these sort of "animals" and force them to fight for us? We might create bonds with them, but jeez these guys are just living their lives when bam! You come across them and then just capture them? And have them battle for you and constantly drain their health, only to do the process all over again. That is fucking cruel imo. I know certain trainers consider pokemon as companions and friends and whatnot, and that's all great and dandy, but like jeez. At least some pokemon come with you willingly and that's the best part. But whatever I'm getting off topic.

Again, personalities on point, writing smooth. Honestly I've never read something of your that felt jagged in a way. (Which is what really confused me when I accidentally skipped this chapter, and I was thrust into the future without an explanation of what happened at the end of the battle) Thank you.

I don’t think Platinum was being rude there at all. She doesn’t say anything, and from her perspective, it’s natural to be baffled at Sapphire. It’s like... you see someone sniffing at the air and the ground and the trees, and you just feel the urge to not be seen right next to that person. Stepping backwards was an unconscious decision, and hell, I’d do that too. And of course, Platinum hadn’t spent enough time with Sapphire to be used to it, or even appreciate her uniqueness. So for now, it’s an understandable natural reaction. And the cause of the Sapphire vs. Platinum minor feud that... I was going to push but abandoned because no one gave a f*ck.

One of the things I absolutely HATE about villains in anime/manga is their usual cockiness. If I had a dime every time some bad guy said something along the lines of “it’s over”... Well, it ain’t over ‘till it’s over. The Mega Hunter won’t be saying that it’s over when no one has died yet. And I left quite a few clues about him throughout the story. They become far more evident when Blue points them out later on.

Knowledge is power, indeed. Especially when it comes to Pokemon! ... And battles. 知彼知己百戰不危 and all. And I think Red’s internal questions are a bit too blatant to be considered as clues. Hehe. But hey. That’s just a-

Using Yellow for healing? Oh, I do love how you consistently point out options that actually do happen shortly afterwards. It is, after all, the logical next step. And... ah, the morals of Pokemon. “Pokemon are not tools of war”... that’s because you’re not using them properly. HA! The Pokemon world ain’t looking too bright. Also factor in humans’ tendencies of eradication, and...

I did notice that you skipped this one, given the review order. But I respond in the chapter order, so this one comes first. As to how you NOT notice that you skipped a chapter... ...

2) I swear to god these reviews take me an hour to write lmaooo. I didn't even realize it took that long. Not like I'll stop but dam.

You don’t have to write such long reviews, if that helps you. I do enjoy reading your long reviews, but if it’s too much for you, you can shorten it!

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Destiny #012

1) I wouldn't be surprised if they were copying your work ngl. In fact, they'd be stupid not too. Its that good but anyways, I'm face palming myself now. Of course it was a pokemon. What else could it have been? Honestly, sometimes I'm amazed at my own stupidity. Just like I'm amazed at your writing this chapter! Y's, Platinum's, and Blue's insecurity felt all unique! Like, one could tell it was insecurity, but each felt it in a different way. Which I felt reflected in your writing (as I'm starting to realize most emotions of the characters do) which might've just been encase of their different situations, but I feel like it was more than that. Kudos to you, that's hard to accomplish. And speaking of insecurity, this Peter guy seems to really know how to manipulate it. 'Cause I know the pokemon was doing the brainwashing, but Peter was the one putting the ideas and thoughts into Blue's mind. But he wasn't forcing them, he was juts voicing some of the thoughts he assumed were going on in Blue's mind. Also speaking of Blue, we finally have a chapter in her point of view again! It was nice seeing her again, and making sure that she was okay. But um the whole "It's not my problem" is worrying me. I completely understand why she's at that point. But still, not how the Blue I know from the FRLG chapter would act. (I say FRLG 'cause I'm not sure whether or not that's how she would've acted in RGBY. I mean she's had her small arc)

Fucking bastard. I was hoping Blue would somehow turn him down, but I suppose my prediction was correct. He "tricked" her in a way. But I guess I can only hope now that Blue will snap out of it the moment she sees the dexholders and is assured that they are indeed her friends. Seeing as how we already know she is capable of at least breaking free of his grip for a few moments with only the help of her subconsciousness and thoughts. Break free, Blue! You got this!

Also, on the matter with Y. I am so surprised she survived. The was quite a beating in the last chapter. I mean, forcefully being held in the air against her will. With things like Hydro Canon shooting at her. Not to mention the branches and rocks that pummeled her. What a remarkable girl. Even is she had on her suit. Dam. And even still wishing to fight. Is this what it means to be a dexholder? I can hardly imagine. If I break a nail I feel like crying and I start hugging my teddy bear. Well no, I don't do that either. But you get the idea.

But speaking of the time when Blue will have to battle the others. I wonder how that will play out? I wonder what the reactions of the others will be. Especially the ones close to her like Silver, and Red and whatnot. I'm sure that very moment is when my heart will break and I will cry. I'm certainly looking forward to the fluff that will help heal those wounds of mine. But Green's guilt. That will certainly overwhelm me. More than I thought X's guilt over Y's supposed "death' would have. Also, I wonder who's perspective that will be in. Lately it's been a lot of Platinum and Y, but I think it would be great if that battle was in Green's or Blue's point of view. As they were the ones who had the "falling out" in their relationship. Nonetheless, I'm sure it will be quite enjoyable. I cannot wait to read it!

Lackspeed to my babies. Treat them well I beg of you. They deserve all the love in the world. But still I thank you.

The conspiracy! First ORAS copies SA’s Primal Groudon and Primal Kyogre, then XY copies... er... well, I can’t say right now I guess, since you’re not far enough in Destiny. Heh. And yes, of course it’s a Pokemon. Destiny literally begins in Terminus Cave in Kalos. And you do know what’s in that cave, right?

The insecurities of the different Dex Holders are the cause of their different personalities and their situations! Blue, the lonely girl who’s been drifting away from her friends and feeling utter isolation, would have insecurities about her friends. Platinum, the proud girl who have never known defeat previously would have insecurities about her own capabilities after losing multiple times to the same enemy. And what she says is what she would’ve read in a book too. 敗將有口無言, and all. And Y, the new girl, who has a lot to prove and a lot of catching up to do, will have her own insecurities after being absolutely obliterated.

Blue saying “it’s not my problem” is the result of her drifting away so much from her friends and feeling betrayed. In FRLG, it’s subtly revealed that Blue doesn’t remain in contact with anyone other than Silver (since Red and Green had no idea what she was doing in One Island, or what she had been doing), and so if that was to continue for years, and she lets her darker thoughts go rampant, she would end up quickly reverting to her old colder self.

And yep. “Tricked”. Rampancy in AI (which is what Blue’s rampancy is based on) doesn’t require something HUGE happening. It can all start with just a subtle suggestion. And now the struggle begins, between her rampant thoughts and her rational thoughts. Hehehe...

Yep. Y took a hell of a beating... again. And yet she’s still trying to fight. The resiliency of the Dex Holders! ... Also, the resiliency of those who are in the top 5 favorites! In order to be able to fight even after such a beating, you need to be in the top 5 of my favorites. Otherwise... hehe.

Oh, Blue’s upcoming fight against the Dex Holders... it will be quite the journey!

Treat them well, eh? Hmm...

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And so with that, Destiny’s chart is updated!

With the reviewed chapters in the red circle. ... Destiny still doesn’t show a trend, as it is ALL OVER THE PLACE.

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Legacy #007

1) Janecklyn from Specord here :P

Anyway, i really appreciated those "slice of life" chapters and some of the dex holders forming friendships with others outside their region! Makes the stakes higher and the mental problems more heavy.

Aww, jelly X, I have a feeling Jeremy is gonna be important to the plot.

Moon, you goofed up D:

One thing I like of your writing, is that you get the characterization pretty well, most of the time I can tell who's speaking for the lines alone. It tells me that like you love these characters 3

Intense and suspenseful chapter! Will wait for the update 3

Oh. I had no idea that you actually read Legacy. ... It happens if people just don’t review, since I have no other way to know if it’s being actually READ.

Gotta love those “slice of life” things, eh? It’s not always just chaos and catastrophe in the lives of the Dex Holders. Even if they’re always in the middle of one.

X is going to have to compete with Sky Trainer Jeremy! Hehe...

Moon had failed to properly heed Platinum’s warning, and had failed to react fast enough. Ouch.

Hehe. Thank you :) I do try to make each one sound as unique as I can, though some... just... can’t.

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With this one review, Legacy’s chart now looks like...

The red circle was the change, and so now it’s no longer a straight line barring the last chapter’s “anomaly”. Still, the trend is too clear. Legacy will not be getting an update until that dot in the red circle goes up by another 5. And it has the rest of 2019 to do so.

#qna

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