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#and he loses everything but especially those friendships
isfjmel-phleg · 9 months
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I was taking notes and instead got socked with the impact of a storyline that at a glance looks like a random digression before the actual climax but actually is crucial to the themes and arc and now I'm expected to just dry my hair? and go to bed? like nothing happened?
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enbysiriusblack · 2 years
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you're on your own, kid marauder characters:
regulus black
emmeline vance
remus lupin
mary macdonald
peter pettigrew
#the turning their backs on those closest to them in order to fulfill a dream they have#and ending up in misery. loneliness. and regret.#but they still wouldn't have changed anything if they could#regulus black growing up feeling alone. especially when sirius gets put in gryffindor and leaves him behind.#and he has to make a decision for himself. and turns to darkness because that's whats near him. that's what stayed with him.#but it isn't what he thought it could be. and he destroys it. or aims to. and as such burns the friendship of everyone he knows#emmeline vance growing up a dreamer. wanting to make be important. fighting for attention from her parents that they gave to her siblings#and she joins the order. a place she could finally be recognised and seen. but she's not part of Dumbledore's plan#so she gets no big missions. makes no big changes. and she misses her chance with the first war. she feels like a failed soldier#she tries to become an auror. but fails the process. her newts not good enough. so instead joins the british muggle military#but then the order is remade and dumbledore grasps her back. and she willingly lets him because perhaps finally its her turn#to be recognised for her bravery and her life and her talent. and nothing matters but that. it is what her entire life was for.#and it ends in death. a small recognition for her sacrifice. but nothing like she wanted#remus lupin growing up isolated and alone because of who he is. he was taught to make it on his own#that he didn't need friends in his life. that wasn't an option for him.#but he made some regardless. and it was the most important thing to him. and he owed it all to dumbledore#so he did everything dumbledore told him too. he owed him his entire life. and lost it all as a result.#mary macdonald not wanting to give her life to a fight thats meant to be protecting people like her#so she leaves everything behind. her friends protesting her decision but nothing could make her stay#and she gains everything she could dream of by losing everything she had#peter pettigrew growing up isolated but his creativity knew no bounds. he had dreams of starting a band. of people buying his art.#but the war took that opportunity. that hope. those dreams and instead he focused solely on one dream. survival.#so he did anything he could to maintain it. no matter what it took. or what he had to take#marauders era#marauders#regulus black#emmeline vance#remus lupin#mary macdonald#peter pettigrew
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 8 months
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F***ing FINALLY!!! I've been looking for stuff with a Reader saving Dogday since he's been introduced and I've only got like, three so far-
And I want this Reader to be resourceful, using anything to patch Dogday up(including scraps of Miss Delight's dress)
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I hear your calls <3
...............
"You're wasting precious time, angel. Poppy needs you. I'm only gonna slow you down. Just leave me here, and tell her I'm-"
"You'll get to tell her that yourself, Dogday. Because I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna help you whether you like it or not."
With a huff, you used the grabpack to wheel in a cart filled with an assortment of items you picked up around the Playcare area: doll parts, plush felt, metal bars, and even Dogday's other missing leg, which you have miraculously found in the playhouse.
You did your best to stitch them back onto his body, although the real challenge was fixing them up first--considering how badly they got mangled by the smaller Smiling Critters. Through sheer luck, you were still able to recognize them as his legs.
And conveniently, you've retained some of your craftsmanship skills from your days working with Playtime Co.
You were given some praise for being able to speedily patch up broken and torn-up toys, but you've never touched upon any of the "Bigger Bodies" despite seeing similar injuries on them. They simply never gave you that clearance, and dealing with blood and organs (and possible death) was something way above your paygrade.
But with Dogday, you were able to apply similar techniques you used in doll repair. You made patches out of Miss Delight's polka-dot dress to cover up any tears, and you created small mechanisms to put inside his legs that would (hopefully) enable him to walk again.
It was like you were performing a surgical operation..
Except, well..that's exactly what was going on.
Despite your unwavering determination--and the fact that you succeeded in reattaching one leg to him so far--he insisted that you were only putting yourself at risk trying to help him.
Hell, you nearly got torn apart by those little Smiling Critters who chased you both down, being scared off by the flares you shot at them. He didn't think you'd have enough..but by the grace of god, you did. And you escaped and found a safe place where Kissy Missy and Poppy were also hiding out.
Not only did you finally get a breather, but also a chance to help one of the few toys left here who somehow didn't lose their humanity.
Even so, Dogday still feared for your safety.
"You know..this will only enrage Catnap, right?" He rasped, choking out a wet cough. "He'll know that I'm missing. And he'll know you have something to do with it.."
"Wait.." Pausing in your work, you glanced up at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Why would he care about where you are? Or better yet..why would he keep you alive at all?"
"...because I was his favorite."
"Huh..?"
"Before the Prototype became his sole focus, we did everything together." He explained somberly. "We helped the others fall asleep, stayed out of trouble. Catnap and I..we were like day and night. Two peas in a pod. He brands me a heretic now, but...somehow, I don't believe he likes doing so. Maybe..he hasn't forgotten our friendship, after all."
'Well, stringing someone up by belts and ripping off half their body doesn't sound like something a good friend would do..' You thought to yourself, although you understood where he was coming from.
Yet it didn't change the fact you still wanted to kill that stupid purple cat. Especially after he gave you that hellish nightmare of Huggy crawling out of a television.
"I know you wanna believe there's still good in him, but..he's long gone." You shook your head. "Those critters..they tried crawling inside your body, and he was just gonna allow it all because you didn't wanna follow the Prototype's will."
"........"
Silence was your only reply, but you decided to shift your focus back on repairing the other leg. Dogday allowed you to work, no longer protesting as he instead looked at the stitches on his arms, feeling grateful yet unworthy at the same time.
Him and the others...they were all monsters. He never killed a single human in his existence (or at least none that he could recall), but he felt like he was just as terrible as those who did.
Eventually, you finished, and his ears perked up at your sigh of relief as you set down your tools and pushed the cart away. "There we go. Try to stand up, but take it slow. Okay?"
He nodded, feeling quite nervous as he looked at his legs, before he slowly pushed himself off the ground. For a few moments, he was able to stand, but he wobbled a little and had to hold onto the nearest wall so he didn't lose balance.
'When was the last time I had my legs? It's been so long...'
Then he felt your grabpack's hands gently steady him, and soon enough he could stand on his own without their support.
You smiled and retracted them. "How do you feel?"
"Much better...thank you, angel." Dogday looked down at you, the corners of his wide smile turning further upwards. "You truly are something divine. You've come to heal us, mend all of our broken pieces, even when we do not deserve such kindness. How could I ever repay you?"
Right as you were about to respond, you heard sounds of plush feet moving and turned around, seeing Kissy and Poppy entering the room.
You didn't really he'd nearly be as tall as Huggy's spouse.
"You fixed him! What can't you do?" The redhaired doll gasped in awe, hopping onto Kissy's hand before she was carefully transferred over to Dogday's paws, stepping into them.
He held her gently, smiling. "Poppy."
"It's so good to see you, my friend." She smiled, although it was quick to disappear. "I thought all of you were gone."
"It's just me now, and...I'm....I-I'm...." He began to sniffle, his voice breaking as the weight of everything that's happened came crashing down. "I'm so sorry...I tried so hard, but...I-I failed! I couldn't protect them!"
Thin streams of tears seeped from the corners of his eyes, darkening the fur along his cheeks. "Kickin'...B-Bobby..they all died because of me! I was supposed to be their leader, but all I did was lead them to their demise! I-I should have joined them in-"
"There, there..it's going to be alright." Poppy softly hushed him, patting his arm in comfort. "You did your best to protect them given the circumstances. I promise we'll have our chance to avenge them. But you must live, for their sake..and for [y/n]'s sake, too. They went through a lot to fix you up."
"I know but..I-I'm so scared. I don't wanna face him alone-"
"You won't be alone, because I'm gonna take care of him."
With another sniffle, Dogday looked down at you, feeling you gently petting his ear as another comforting gesture. Your eyes held nothing but sympathy and heartache for this poor creature. "I'm sorry, but we have to put him down. It's the only way we can move forward."
"Are you sure?" He mumbled. "He's gotten more powerful, and hungry-"
"So were Huggy and Mommy, but I saw how [y/n] dealt with them..and they're more than capable." Poppy remarked. "But now that Catnap's onto them, they'll need all the protection they can get."
"Then..I'll do my best to help." He finally declared, smiling at you.
You blinked, surprised that he was willing to stand up against the one who tortured him. But you simply nodded and smiled back, watching as he returned Poppy to Kissy, before he turned back to you and crouched down.
He enveloped you in a warm hug, the vanilla scent still seeping from his suit and helping you feel more at ease.
"Thank you, Dogday." You chuckled, hugging him back.
"No..thank you, my guardian angel. I will follow you to the ends of the earth."
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dreamescapeswriting · 2 months
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Whispered Confessions ~ JJK
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⤜ WORD COUNT: 3.3K
⤜ PAIRING: Jungkook x fem!Reader
⤜GENRE: established relationships, friends-with-benefits, situationship, breakups, happy ending, angst, love confessions
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - August 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
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 "This was a dumb idea," You grumble to Simon as he took your hand in his and continued to sway with you in time to the music. Tonight you were supposed to be having a small get-together with a couple of friends and yet somehow it had turned into a small house party where people were already way past wasted.
"It's fine, Yn. You and Jungkook will still get to spend some time together later," Simon teased and you shot him a look. He knew that you and Jungkook hadn't really spent much time together since you'd been a little rushed off your feet with work and tonight was the one chance you had to hang out again.
"But then again, if he took you seriously you wouldn't have to beg for his attention," Simon grumbled a little. It was safe to say he wasn't the most fond of your "friendship" with Jungkook but you actively avoided talking about it with Simon since you knew his viewpoint on it all.
"Si," You sighed a little, not wanting to hear the same lecture you'd heard a million times before tonight. You knew how people felt about your situationship with Jungkook but it still didn't change how you felt about him.
"I'm serious. What do you even see in him? Is the dick really that good if he ignores you all the time?" Your hands dropped from Simon and you pushed your way through the house, Simon hot on your trail as you reached the kitchen and grabbed a drink from the fridge.
"Ignoring me won't make it go away, you know that right," Simon said as you stared at him, glancing over your shoulder at Jungkook who was currently surrounded by girls all giggling and twirling strands of hair around their fingers.
"He's using you...you know that right?" Simon wasn't one to hold back when it came to you. Sometimes he knew you just needed someone to tell you how it was and make you see straight but it seemed as though nothing worked when it came to Jungkook. It was as if there were invisible talons dug so deep inside of you, blinding you to everything except the "good" between you and Jungkook.
"No. It's- It's not like that, we're just-" You couldn't even find the words of what you wanted to say. It was hard to talk to anyone about this, especially when they didn't understand it.
"You're in love with him, I get that. But babes, you need to wake up and see that he's using you. Just like he uses everyone else." Simon placed a reassuring hand on your arm but it only made you feel worse about everything, you didn't want to be pitied right now.
"I'm not-" You couldn't even finish your sentence since the look Simon was giving you was one of a death stare, warning you not to even deny it to yourself anymore.
The truth was. You were in love with Jungkook and you had been for a long time now but you had trouble even admitting it to yourself never mind those around you.
The two of you had been fucking for almost five months at this point and you'd fallen head over heels in love with him, despite the two of you stating at the start of everything it was just something between friends. Something to cool off and let off some steam and relax after troubles the two of you had been having and it wasn't as though he'd pressured you into it, it had been your idea just as much as it had been his.
"You can't even deny it, everyone knows it...Including Jungkook but he never says anything because he knows he'll lose someone he can get a lay with." Your chest tightened at the thought of Jungkook knowing about your crush on him and yet he continued to pull you along...But did it really matter?
The two of you were only sleeping with each other, it wasn't as though you were sleeping around. It was one of the stipulations you'd had going into the whole situationship with him. The two of you were only going to fuck each other, and if the other wanted to fuck someone else they would tell the other one first. Simple enough.
"Yn. You need to wake up and realise that this isn't good for you." Simon whispered but your mouth had gone dry and the drink in your hand was doing nothing to help the matter. You quickly downed the liquid, hissing as the vodka burnt your throat as it went down, you threw a glance back at Jungkook who was now watching you closely. His eyes zeroed in on Simon's hand which was still holding your arm softly.
If it was nothing more than friends then someone was going to have to explain Jungkook's jealousy whenever he saw you with another guy. There was no way all of this was in your head. Jungkook must have felt the same way for you as you did for him otherwise there would be no kind of attraction there. Right?
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As the noise of the party began to settle down people were gathering around the living room, Simon by your side as you sat beside Jungkook's ex-girlfriend - Mia - and she sat beside Jungkook who was smirking over at you. His eyes hadn't left you ever since he'd seen you in the kitchen with Simon and you couldn't help but feel your body reacting to him.
Your whole body warmed at the thought of him staring at you, your thighs rubbed together to soothe the ache you'd felt for him for the last two weeks since you'd been together and he grinned at you.
"Who's ready to get real?" Simon smirked as he placed a bottle in the centre of the floor, glancing around at everyone who cheered softly. It was like you were all in school again with the childish games you were playing but it was just for a little bit of fun.
"You remember the rules, any dare or truth you can't do or say, you drink," Simon smirked as everyone held up their drinks in agreement, your hands clutched the bottle of beer you were nursing and you nodded your head,
"The last time we played this you ended up in the neighbour's pool, naked," Damon says as he stares over at Simon who did nothing but smirk proudly at his previous achievements in this game.
"that's because I am the king of truth or dare," Before anyone could claim his title, he smirked once more before spinning the bottle and letting the game begin.
As the game started it was small dares or truths, people asking them to kiss the same sex, or someone being dared to down a drink but as it continued into the night the dares got a little more extravagant and the truths were a little deeper until the bottle finally landed on Jungkook.
"Truth," He smiled at Simon and the room seemed to fall into silence as you all waited for Simon to ask him a question but there was something in his eyes. Something you weren't entirely sure how to read about him that suddenly made your whole chest ache, you placed your hand on his thigh.
"Si?" You laughed awkwardly as you waited for him to ask Jungkook his question but his eye twitched and he suddenly looked more angry than you'd ever seen him look before in the whole time of knowing him.
"When was the last time you had sex?" Simon finally asked Jungkook before the room laughed softly, your eyes finding Jungkook's as you waited for him to tell everyone it had been a few weeks since the two of you had been together but that moment never came. Instead, it was something that filled you with a deep achingness you couldn't shift.
"Last night." You stared at him, a little confused. The two of you hadn't been together in almost three weeks now so it confused you as to where he was coming from. Simon watched you closely, it was obvious he knew the answer to Jungkook's question before he even asked him and now he was waiting for you to realise the truth,
"But-" You stopped yourself from speaking when you saw Mia giggling from beside you, her hands locked onto Jungkook's thigh. You stared at them both, watching the way she cuddled into him and he stared down at her, his expression unreadable but his eyes were no longer on you and only on her.
Slowly the wheels in your head started to turn and you realised it was her who he had slept with, without even telling you about it himself. Instead, you'd found out through your friend and you even wondered how he knew about it.
Without even pausing to think about it, you got up from the floor and headed outside, needing to get some fresh air and clear your mind about everything.
Jungkook was the one who had agreed to tell you about anyone else he was sleeping with. That he would come to you and have the decency to tell you if he was going to fuck around with anyone else behind your back and yet you'd been forced to face this without any prior knowledge.
"Yn," Simon whispered as he stepped onto the porch but you were just as angry with him as you were with Jungkook.
"How could you embarrass me like that?!" Your voice cracked as you spoke, unshed tears threatening to spill out as you stared at someone you had considered your best friend but now felt as though he was twisting a knife inside of your back.
"Mia couldn't stop bragging about how she and Jungkook were going to get back together after fucking last night...you wouldn't listen to me." He trailed off as if this was the best solution he could have come up with,
"So you decide to make me feel like a twat in front of everyone?" You stared at him, waiting for him to defend his actions, to say sorry for what he'd done but he didn't even look sorry about it. It almost seemed as though he was proud of what he'd done.
"You're not even sorry...Are you?" Your voice dropped to a whisper as you watched him, your eyes boring into his skull. Simon swallowed thickly as he studied you for a moment, deciding whether or not this was the best time to do this,
"No. I love you, and it hurts to see you throwing yourself at someone that only uses you. He doesn't care about you the way I do!" You shook your head, taking a step back away from him. There was nothing between the two of you, nothing but brotherly love on your side at least.
"Si-"
"Leave." A voice from the door suddenly said, sounding pissed off. You glanced over Simon's shoulder to see Jungkook standing in the doorway of the home, watching you both closely and red in the face with anger.
"We're trying to talk," Simon grumbles defensively trying to stay there as long as he wanted but you were clearly uncomfortable enough and wanted this conversation to end. Something that didn't go unnoticed by Jungkook who shook his head.
"Clearly, Yn doesn't want to talk to you. So leave her alone." Simon didn't bother putting up any kind of fight since he knew better than to challenge Jungkook on something, he just sulked back through the house leaving you and jungkook alone in an uncomfortable silence. The only thing filling the air was the sounds of crickets in the distance and the faint sound of music coming from inside the house.
"Want me to get your mind off things?" he smirked, stalking toward you as you took a step back.
"You're back with Mia." You state plainly, staring at him as you wait for him to deny it. To tell you it wasn't true and that he was only joking around or something but he just shook his head at you,
"No. It was one night...and I was so drunk I didn't know my head from my arse," He ran his hand through his long hair and you resisted the urge to reach out and touch it as well, it was one of the many things you loved about him,
"One night you neglected to tell me about." You folded your arms across your chest, doing the best you could to stand your ground on the matter. This might have been a friends-with-benefits situation but there had been clear rules in place to stop shit like this from happening.
"You sound like a jealous girlfriend." Jungkook laughed weakly and you stared at him, your eyes narrowing a little as you shook your head. You almost couldn't believe he had the audacity to say that to you. He of all people should have known jealously when it slammed him across the face.
It was only last month when a guy hit on you at a bar and he nearly knocked the guy out just for talking to you.
"What and you don't?! You practically just bit Simon's head off and he was talking to me," You waited for him to scream a confession at you so you didn't feel like you were going crazy or seeing feelings where there weren't any.
"He was being a creep," Jungkook grumbled, leaning against the wall as he watched you closely. His eyes drank in your appearance as he took in what you were wearing, the action of which made you shift from one foot to the other.
"So if it was someone else, someone I wanted to kiss and fuck you wouldn't care?" You were playing with fire, a dangerous game but right now you didn't seem to give a shit. All you cared about was getting to the bottom of his feelings for you.
"Don't say that, you wouldn't do that-"
"But you're allowed? Is that it?" You practically bit off his head with your question and he stared at you, completely taken back from where all of this was coming from with you.
"No...baby, come on-" You held your hand up as the pet name for you came out. Something that had once made you feel like the most special person on the planet now felt like a bucket of ice water was being poured over your body.
"Don't," You begged, your voice sounding weak as you shook your head.
"What? Don't call you baby? Is that the problem?" He took a step toward you, trying to reach out and touch you but you shuddered a little. Everything you'd been holding back finally broke out and erupted in front of him like a volcano that had been dormant for far too long.
"The problem is, you don't mean it! You call me by all of these cute fucking pet names and yet you never want anything from me!" your voice came out strained as Jungkook watched you closely.
"You liked it before," He whispered,
"This needs to end...w-we...We can't keep sleeping together." The words flew from your lips and Jungkook felt his heart break as he watched you closely,
"Yn..."
"I can't keep doing it," You whispered and all of a sudden it was like a weight was off your chest. No longer having to wonder when he was going to call, constantly making sure you were free just in case he called you to come and fuck.
"I thought this was working out...I don't understand," he whispered as you looked at him,
"You're sleeping with Mia, I won't be involved with that. This was supposed to be just the two of us," You stumbled over the words a little.
"This was all your idea, it was going so fucking good. Mia and I were a mistake, I was drunk," He whispered, taking your hands in his as you stared at him. You'd never seen him look so distressed before.
"That was before," You whimpered, struggling to get out of his grasp but he kept his hands locked with yours,
"Before what?"
"I'm in love with you!" you screamed at him, the world suddenly turning cold as you stared at him. Waiting for him to say something, anything to you.
"Oh my god. Princess, we agreed on no strings attached...You remember that right?" How could you not? It was something that plagued your mind every single time you went to sleep at night thinking of being wrapped in his arms.
"Exactly, that's why I'm stopping." You whisper a little as he drops your hands, staring at you as he shakes his head.
"You can't...Please," He was practically begging as he stared at you, his eyes searching yours.
"Jungkook...I can't keep playing the role of a fuck buddy when I'm hopelessly in love with you. The way you constantly care for me when I'm sick or stressed...T-The way you're always there for me even when I'm mad at you or yelling." You whisper, starting to go off on a rant about how much you loved him and what had even made you fall for him in the first place and Jungkook just watches you, unsure of what to do or say.
"Say...Say something," You breathe out, staring at him as he takes in a deep breath.
By now, his face was red as he looked at you. His chest tightened as he heard everything you'd had to say to him.
"I've always known that I had feelings for you but I kept ignoring them or sidestepping them because I felt like it was wrong...to have feelings for your friend." He bit down on his lip as he reached out to touch your hand, your fingers intertwining as you watched him,
"I tried my best to not focus on that and just be here with you, and instead focus on the fact that what a hot piece of ass I get to sleep with.." His voice was coming out in a whisper now as he stepped in front of you, his hands cupping your face in his grasp as he gently ran his thumb along your bottom lip.
"I can't say that I love you yet but I definitely feel like something could happen here. I do have feelings for you and deep down I always knew that. Yn...I want to give us a chance. Please...Let me give us a chance." He practically begged as he held you close to him, your heart practically ripping its way outside of your chest and into his waiting arms,
"What about Mia?" You weren't going to ignore the fact that he'd slept with her,
"A drunken mistake, I'll never touch her again...Please," You swallowed thickly as you watched him, you wanted more than anything to believe him. To give this a real shot at the two of you.
"You promise you won't...sleep with her again?" You arched your brow as he nodded his head, biting down on your lip you nodded slowly.
"Pick me up tomorrow...at seven, book somewhere fancy," You warn him as he smirks at you, running his fingers over your cheek softly.
"I know the perfect place," He promises before leaving a small and gentle kiss on your cheek.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~year later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Staying true to his promise Jungkook had never slept with anyone else ever again, his sole focus had always been on you and never anyone else again. It had only taken a few months before he told you he loved you back and now the two of you were on your first couple's holiday together.
Jungkook had flown you both out to Paris where you spent the whole two weeks doing everything a couple could possibly do together in Paris.
"I love you," You giggle at him as he pours you some champagne, the two of you sitting under the Eiffel Tower and waiting for it to sparkle for the night,
"I love you too, princess," he smirks, leaning over and kissing you softly. Right as your lips connected the Eiffel Tower lit up, sparkling around you both as you wrapped your arms around Jungkook and pressed yourself closer to him.
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7seas-of-ryy · 2 months
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Hangover Cure
Author’s Note: This is an idea I've had for a while! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Summary: Rhys and Cassian know how to have fun...and distract you from your crush on Azriel :)
Pairing: Azriel x Reader, Platonic!Rhys x Reader, Platonic!Cassian x Reader
Warnings: drinking, let me know if I need to add any others :)
"I swear I will stab both of you with my dagger if you don't stop." You growled at Cassian and Rhys.
"You're not nearly as intimidating as you think." Rhys smirked.
"Actually, I'm kind of terrified of her." Cassian spoke up.
The three of you were walking around Velaris, enjoying an unusual day off. The Archeron girls were all having a 'sister night' and they had offered you to join them but you wanted them to have their time together after everything they went through.
Azriel was off checking up on certain Courts making sure they were all staying in line. Rhys told him he needed to relax and could have the day off but the Night Court Spymaster insisted on it.
Mor had quickly taken off this morning saying she had places to be, which we all knew meant she was off to have a fun time. And Amren was off with Varian.
You were stuck with Rhys and Cassian to keep you company. As you were enjoying the views and shops, the topic of your love life had come up. They wouldn't leave you alone, claiming they were the best wing men and could help you.
After you threatened them with your dagger you had hoped they would get the message that you did not want to talk. Unfortunately, they know you love them like brothers and wouldn't actually hurt them.
So, you asked if they wanted to go to Rita's for a drink because if you had to deal with those two idiots for the rest of the day, you wouldn't be sober.
A couple hours and many drinks later, the three of you were having a good time. Your stomach hurt from laughing so much. Eventually, Cass brought up your love life again and this time your tongue was much looser due to the alcohol.
"Listen, y/n, we just want you to be happy. We know you like someone, you deny every single males invitation to dinner. You wouldn't do that if you didn't already have somebody in your sights." Rhys said
"And whoever it is, is a lucky bastard. You're the best person I know, c'mon tell us" Cass added
"If I tell you, will you two idiots shut up?" You asked and they both nodded quickly, the head motion making Cassian nearly fall out of his chair
"It's... Azriel" you whispered and winced, you never planned on anyone ever knowing about your crush.
"YOU LIKE AZ?!" Cassian shouted and you quickly shushed him
"Shut up! No one can know, and especially not Az. Do you understand me? You are the only 2 that know so if he finds out, I'll know it was one of you and I know where you sleep." you threatened
Rhys was simply smirking at you this entire time, while Cassian's eyes got wide at the threat.
"I was wondering how long it would take you to admit you liked him" Rhys spoke.
Now it was your turn for your eyes to widen.
"You knew???" You frantically asked
"Of course I did. 'Azriel, you look so nice today' 'Azriel, you're so big and strong and sexy and I want you to-" Rhys mocked you and you smacked his arm, quickly shutting him up.
Cassian was nearly on the floor laughing so hard at Rhys' impression of you.
"I do not sound like that! And I have never said that either!" You defended yourself.
"Why don't you tell him?" Rhys asked
"Because he's my friend and he doesn't like me like that." you told him
"But what if-" Cassian started and you cut him off
"Stop. I see the way he looks at Elain. He feels for her like I do for him. And he deserves that happiness, she would be perfect for him. So I will never tell him and you are to never speak of this again. If not for me, at least for him. I cannot lose his friendship." you pleaded, the room starting to feel too hot
The males in front of you understood the fear of losing someone so close to you but they knew their brother liked you too. They couldn't be the ones to tell you. They would just have to get Azriel to confess to you himself.
For now, they would ensure you had fun with them.
"I have an idea, lets go back to the house and get really drunk all night long and have fun and that way, we won't think of any of this sad stuff." Cassian suggested
"I'm in" you and Rhys said at the same time.
Once you got back to the house, you all started with shots. You remember dancing and laughing and then the rest of the night was a blur.
You woke up with a painful throbbing in your head. You were laying on something firm and not comfortable. And there was a very heavy weight on top of you.
"Do you think they're dead?" you could hear Feyre speak
"No, but they're going to wish they were when they wake up with a nasty hangover." you heard Azriel respond
As you opened your eyes, you got used to the light while you looked around. You were on the floor in the living room. There were two large legs on you, one on your torso and one on your own legs. As you inspected further, they belonged to Cassian.
You slowly, so slowly sat up. Turning to look behind you, you saw that you had been using Rhys' back and right arm as a pillow. He was sprawled out, drooling on the ground.
Turning back around, you could see Feyre and Azriel standing watching the three of you with smirks on their faces.
"Good morning darling" Azriel spoke
"Shhhh, not so loud" you whispered
The pair chuckled and Cass and Rhys started to wake up.
"What were we thinking?" Cass asked
"Are you wearing my socks on your hands?" you asked, pointing at him
Cassian looked down at his hands and looked back at you.
"I think my hands were cold and I said I needed gloves so you offered your socks." he answered
"And who's leathers are you wearing?" Azriel asked you, his eyes darkening as he spoke.
You looked down at yourself and realized you were wearing leathers that were way too big on you.
"They're mine. Y/N had warded them so that if anything hit them, it would ricochet off and we wanted to test it out." Rhys began
"Did it work?" Feyre asked
The three of you on the ground turned your heads to look at the wall that had a hole in it. Then you turned to look at Cassian who was covered in drywall. The memories of Cassian running and jumping at you only to be thrown through the wall came back to you.
"Yes, it worked exceptionally well. Y/N is brilliant in her field." Rhys answered.
"It sent Cassian through the wall, didn't it?" Azriel deadpanned
"You know, I was going to say I feel like I got thrown through a wall so that makes sense." Cassian answered
"Alright I think you three need real rest. C'mon Rhys, lets go lay down. Nesta is coming to bring Cassian home. Az, can you help Y/N?" Feyre asked
"Of course" the shadowsinger responded
He walked over to you and picked you up. His shadows began immediately caressing your face and head. He flew you home and helped you get into bed where you quickly fell asleep.
A few hours later, you woke up. Looking over at your bedside table, you saw a water, a tonic, and a note.
"Y/N - please take the tonic and drink the water. It will help with the hangover -Azriel"
You smiled and did as he told you then you heard some shuffling in your living room. Getting up to inspect, you could hear Azriel talking to his shadows.
"Az?" you spoke
"Sorry, did I wake you?" he asked
"No, I was awake before I heard you. What're you still doing here?" you asked him. It's not that you didn't want him there, but you felt bad because he probably had work to do and you were holding him up.
"I wanted to make sure you were ok," he spoke, then with a teasing tone added, "I take it the three of you had a fun time last night?"
Your cheeks immediately felt hot.
"Yeah, something like that," you answered, "Were you talking to your shadows?"
"It seems they don't want to listen to me right now. Earlier, I was going to go grab you some food but they refused to leave you so I had to leave them here with you. And I was trying to get them to leave you alone so they wouldn't bother you but they are being stubborn." the shadowmaster explained
"They never bother me." you told him and the shadows shot out to you, as if you gave them all the permission they needed.
They swirled all over you and through your hair and you giggled.
"Traitors" he mumbled to them and went to grab the food from the table.
Right as he was about to ask if you wanted to eat any of it right now, there was a knock at your door. It was Nesta and Cassian.
They were holding up more food, Cassian looked as bad as you felt.
"Cassian told me that you outdrank him so I wanted to bring you this food." Nesta spoke, it was the kindest thing she had ever done for you.
"You outdrank him?!" Az sputtered
"Yeah yeah, lets just eat" Cassian said and you agreed
The four of you sat down to eat and Az continued asking you about your night.
"So how exactly did everything happen last night?" he said with a smile
"Well, we were having some drinks at Rita's and then..." you stopped to think of a lie, "they ran out of my favorite drink so we headed back to Rhys' and just continued the drinking there."
"Your memory must still be foggy, Cassian said you went back to Rhys' because you were sad and they wanted to cheer you up." Nesta stated
Your eyes narrowed on Cassian and he froze. His eyes went wide with terror.
"Why were you sad?" Az asked you with concern
"Cassian." you grit his name through your teeth, ignoring the spymaster
"Nesta its time to go." Cassian quickly said getting up from the table
"What-" Nesta started
Cassian practically yanked her from her chair and as they were about to fly away, you and Az could hear Cassian tell Nesta he was terrified of you and something along the lines of you knowing where he sleeps.
"What was all that about?" Az asked you
"Its nothing, I was a little sad so we drank and it was a fun night, that's all that matters." you said quickly
"No, if you are sad about anything at all then it is not nothing." The shadowsinger said firmly
You knew he wasn't going to let it go anytime soon and you needed to rest. So, you told him...most of it.
"Fine. I like someone and they don't like me back." you admitted
"What?" Az spoke and you could see the hurt flash in his eyes but he quickly shook his head as if to hide his emotions.
"Who wouldn't like you back, you're beautiful, kind, and extremely intelligent. Whoever it is, they're a fool." He told you
You let a breath out through your nose, you figured it was now or never. And if you guys were truly as close friends as you thought, then that wouldn't change no matter what.
"It's you." you mumbled
"Huh?" he breathed
"I'm in love with you," you blurted, "but I know you like Elain and I don't want things to be weird between us so I never told you."
"I don't like Elain. Not like that at least. Sure, she's my friend but I'm not in love with her... I love you, Y/N." he confessed
You couldn't believe what he was saying. Surely, he must be trying to save your feelings.
"Az, it's ok. You don't have to do this. I can handle rejection." You wanted him to know you would be ok.
Instead of responding, he stepped close to you and pulled you in by your hips. He moved one of his hands to your face and brought you impossibly closer. Your lips met and it was as if this was everything you had been missing in life.
After a few moments, it started to turn more passionate and he swiped his tongue over your bottom lip. You moaned into his mouth and he groaned at the noise.
Eventually you two pulled apart and you were left breathless.
"Do you believe me now?" He questioned
You nodded, not trusting your voice after that.
"Would you like to finish eating and then go lay down together? You still must not feel well after all that alcohol last night." he spoke
"Actually, I feel great right now. Let's just skip the food and go straight to laying down together." you suggested
"Hmm it seems like I might be the best hangover cure." Az joked
"I think you're right" You told him as you grabbed his hand, leading him to your bed.
Later That Night
"I think Rhys, Cass, and I stole a tree last night" you spoke, deep in thought
"You three are never allowed to hang out alone together again." Az stated
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angel-eyes05 · 1 year
Text
to leave the warmest bed i've ever known
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pairing: spiderwoman!reader x miguel o’hara 
summary: after miguel’s fight with miles, you confront him in his office
warnings: this whole thing is basically one big argument there’s SO much angst, implied suicide attempt, HUGE ATSV SPOILERS DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, im projecting a little in some parts of this ngl (i cried writing a certain section of this, you'll know it when you read it lmao), mentions and descriptions of blood, gore, and death
word count:  4.1k
notes: i watched the movie yesterday…and miguel is on my mind. but i remember reading this namor x reader fanfic after i watched wakanda forever of a similar idea to this and i loved it so this is HEAVILY inspired by that fic, but just make it miguel. i would link it but ngl that was so long ago and i dont remember the author. if i end up finding it again ill put it here. also, just pretend miguel has been doing this whole spider society thing for a couple of years at least, it just needs to work like that for this ik its probably not canon but just roll with it lmao. and yes the title is a taylor swift lyric im so glad you noticed (im so sorry she's in my brain rn with the eras tour)
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The anger boiled up inside your chest as you stormed your way across the lobby. Hundreds of different Spider-Man variants were scattered across the area, some more injured than the others. It sickened you sometimes. How he had so many people under his grasp and just decided to throw some of them at the walls sometimes, not caring how hard they hit the floor because they were all just ammo to him. How despite his denials of it, that’s probably what your role was to him as well. Nothing more than a bullet in his massive machine gun.
You normally tried not to think about it, how his determination towards his goal sometimes meant lack of care for others. But this time he had just gone too far. You always had a soft spot for Miles, watching closely on him whenever Miguel would let you go though scanners of all the different variants. You admired his struggle, but eventual success to taking up the previous Peter’s mantle, and always hated how Miguel talked about him. You knew there was no way Miles could’ve asked for any of this. For the pressures and struggles of being a Spider-Man, for everything causing such a strained relationship with his parents, for the death of his uncle, and for what will be the eventual death of his father. You definitely didn’t.
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Ok lets do this one last time. Eh, whatever, there’s probably gonna be 50 other introductions after this one so it doesn’t really matter.
Being Earth-837’s Spider-Man has never been easy. Especially since you were bit when you were only 13 (another reason you sympathized with Miles and Gwen). Your life had followed the order of canon events to a perfect T, your older brother killed in a fight with a robber only two months after you were bit. You tried to overcome the burden of your powers by trying to live as normal of a teenage life as possible, but it was mostly in vain, having to give up multiple friendships and relationships in fear of those you love getting hurt. This was only elevated when your boyfriend Peter was murdered in the crossfire of an encounter with Doc Ock. You didn’t understand. You couldn’t. What you had done to deserve all of this. All you did was just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You wonder sometimes what would happen if someone was in the same place you were when you got bit. If someone else went to the closed down area of that museum and ran into that spider. That stupid spider that ruined your life. Those thoughts slowly started to disappear for a bit. For a few years things were easy. Things seemed like they were finally going in your favor.
You were 25 when it happened. The last canon event. Ever since you were a little girl you hated your mother’s job. Losing nights of sleep over if she would come home or not. She always did though. She was good at her job. Too good though. Good enough to get promoted to police captain, which for who you were, was basically sealing her fate. She saved so many people that day. You were too busy fighting Venom to notice how much collateral damage you were causing in the process. Your mother’s job was to evacuate all the citizens away from the fight. She died shielding a child from incoming debris. A noble way to go. But god was it gruesome. You found her after the fight was over, two metal poles impaling her. One through her stomach and one straight through her face, pools of blood growing bigger below her as she was left there, all the paramedics busy trying to save the heavily injured. You froze when you finally recognized her, unable to at first due to how mutilated her face was from the pole. Suddenly, you were transported back to being a six year old, falling asleep outside the door to your mother’s bedroom so you would know exactly when she would come home. Purposefully falling asleep in her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere.
When you used the key she had given you to get into her apartment that night, and you slept in her room, desperate to intake anything left of her before she was fully gone. You doused yourself in her perfume so it still felt like she was standing right behind you. You had always loved her smell. The smell of vanilla, curl product, and fancy perfume. They were attached to memories you had of her. Trying on her heels when you were a kid to try and be fancy like her. Smelling her hair in the morning before school to comfort you before she left for work. Despite all of this bringing you comfort, all it really did was cause further denial in your heart. That one day you were gonna hear the keys clacking in the keyhole to your apartment one more time. That’s all you really wanted. You would give everything up in a heartbeat just to hear her police scanner go off one last time. But it wasn’t going to. And it was your fault. Deep down you knew it was. You should’ve done a better job controlling the debris. You had always been a messy fighter, but you didn’t know it was going to mean anything until it was too late. 
How you got up to the top of that building is still a blur to you to this day. But next thing you know, you were looking at the New York City skyline from the very top of the Empire State Building. And at the very edge too. You heard some sounds behind you, but you just decided it was the wind howling from how high up you were. You were just so tired. Everything and everyone you loved was cursed all because of you. And with your mother as the most recent victim, you decided you finally had enough. You took a deep breath, eyes overflowed with water, as you set your foot forward.
Your plummet was interrupted by a sudden contact you felt to your forearm. Shock filled your body as you turned around to look at what had stopped your attempt. The blue hand was massive, nearly wrapping back around onto itself as it held onto you for dear life. You finally looked up at face that the hand belonged to. The mask that covered the massive figure was a strange one. Blue with strange red silhouettes for the eyes. It kind of reminded you of…your own costume? That couldn’t be though there was no way. This must be the afterlife or something. You already jumped and that's why you didn’t remember your way up to the top. This was some kind of creature trying to stop you from jumping down to hell below. His breaths were heavy and loud, almost like he was desperate to stop you. This convinced you that this was real, which caused you to try to escape from his grip. He was stronger than you, and was putting up a huge fight. You were slick though. Once you were out of his hand, you closed your eyes and quickly made your jump. Everything flashed before your eyes. Your brother, Peter, your mom. You were hoping to see them soon. This was very quickly interrupted again when you suddenly stopped falling. Something had attached itself to your stomach. You opened your eyes. A web? This web was much different than yours though. It was glowing a bright, neon orange.
The man was holding onto the end of it tightly with both hands. His mask then disappeared to show his face. His was long, matching how big the rest of his body was, defined cheek bones sticking out. Brown wavy hair slicked back with a few loose strands flying out in the wind. The look of desperation on his face stook out most of all. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. “Let me pull you up. Please,” he said to you between shaky pants. You stared at him for a bit before nodding. He slowly pulled you up with the string of his web, each move more careful than the last. As soon as your feet were planted safely back on the roof of the building, he wrapped you up in his massive arms. You appreciated the gesture, but you didn’t return it, still very confused about why he was so concerned. He was so big around your body though, you couldn’t help but feel a little comforted, feeling his still shaky breaths against the hairs of your neck. Soon after, he clicked on some buttons on his neon orange watch and led you into a portal.
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The rest is history. You’re grateful he found you that day. It allowed you to meet so many people, Peter B., Jess, Gwen, Hobie, Ben, Pavitr, Margo. They all related to you and you felt like you could share things with them that you couldn’t do with anyone else. You had grown especially close to Peter and Jess, both of them having been in the game for a long time, just like you. They both knew how you felt, having lost so much and growing so tired after so many years. Peter even named you as Mayday’s godmother when she was born, a gesture that caused you to nearly kill him with your hug. Miguel though was different. He wasn’t nearly as social as the rest of your friends, but you found yourself having much more intimate moments with him (in more ways then one). You eventually found out why Miguel was so concerned for you the day you met. He had taken interest in your abilities early into looking for variants for his little “project”, but refrained from roping you into something so dangerous while you were still in your teens.
Once you were old enough though, he started paying more and more attention, hoping to catch you in a fight and recruit you then. But he was always pulled away with more important duties to attend to. That was until he witnessed your canon event. He had seen it happen so many times before through his scanners. It was going to happen. It had to in order for your universe to not collapse in on itself. But for some reason, yours hurt more than the rest to him. Especially how you coped with it. Seeing you wrap yourself up in her blankets and clothes broke his heart. He knew where this would lead to. That’s why he was there that day. To save you. He had to, or he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. You got your own watch immediately, along with your own room in the Spider Society headquarters. He stayed close with you for the first month of you being a member of the team. When he wasn’t out on missions, he was with you. You didn’t really know what to label you two as, but whatever was going on, you liked it. And he did too.
That is until Miles came into the picture. Once Miles was bit, all hell broke loose for Miguel. He was always in some alternate dimension catching some Spider-Man villain who got out and rangled them back over here, falling back over to you more beat up and bruised than the last time. You couldn’t imagine how much stress he was under, the fate of the entire multiverse up to him. You had some ways of helping him relieve his stress, but you wish you could convince him that he wasn’t alone in this. But nothing ever got through to him. He had become distant, aloof even. You tried bringing it up to Jess every so often, but she would just brush it off.
“That’s how he’s always been.” Not to you he hasn’t. This week has been hell though. With Spot making it over to Miles, Miguel had been going into rages all week. You had put up with it for now, but that was all about to stop. Watching how harsh he was being on Miles, throwing so many Spider-Men at an innocent boy, risking all of their lives in the process. Disregarding everything Gwen and Peter were feeling and then throwing Gwen back into her broken world with nothing. He had gone too far. No one else was going to stand up to him about it, so you knew it had to be you. Maybe he would listen, maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter. He just needed to hear it.
“It’s not worth it you know.” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks. “You know how stubborn he gets over these things,” said Jess, trying to convince you to save your breath. “I don’t care. I have to at least try,” you responded, monotonically. “I just don’t understand how you can follow him so blindly and not see what he’s doing is wrong.” “Because he isn’t wrong. I don’t know about you, but I’m not just gonna stand by and let some kid’s stupid decisions destroy another Earth,” Jess argued. “He’s just trying to save his dad, I can’t understand how that makes him such a bad person,” you said, finally turning around to face her, shocked when she was closer to you than expected.
“You know exactly why. Don’t be so naive, y/n,” she shot back. “You can’t stop me,” you said staring straight into her. She shrugged. “Then I can’t help you.” She began to walk away. You did to, until you heard her say. “You don’t know how much he cares for you.” You turned around to face her again, but her back was still to you, her head tilted ever so slightly to look at you. “If you really do care for the kid, watch what you say to Miguel right now. Cause you might just give him the final push he needs to do what needs to be done.” You didn’t give her a response, and just simply kept walking. You felt Jess’ eyes on your back as you entered the elevator to get up to Miguel’s office.
The elevator ride up felt longer than it should’ve, as you tried to gather all of your thoughts and emotions together so even if he didn’t listen, your words would still stick with him in some way. You didn’t necessarily want to hurt him (though your fists were telling you otherwise), but you did want him to be aware of what he’s done. Once the doors finally opened, all of that work flew out the window as rage took over your body again, seeing Miguel up there looking at the scanners. The fact that he looked just as normal as he always does made you furious. It’s like nothing happened.
“You know, I could hear you coming in from the lobby,” he said, almost stopping you in your tracks. You hated when he did that. Claiming that he knew what your every move was going to be. Like you were under his control or something. “Yeah, well then you must’ve heard me talking to Jess, which means you know exactly what this is about,” you shot back, stopping to where you could see him perched up there. “Why don’t you just save me the conversation about morality and just come up here and kick my ass already. It’ll save both of us time,” he said, not even taking his eyes off the scanners to look down at you. This only added to your fury. “That’s not what I’m here for Miguel, so don’t you dare try to twist my words here. What you did to that kid was fucked up and you know it.” “Oh yeah, then why didn’t you try to do anything to stop me?” he questioned.
“Because I’m not stupid Miguel. I’m not gonna try to take down hundreds of Spider-Men at once.” “Oh, cause you’re so much better than that?” This wasn’t like him at all. That gentle, kind, and caring Miguel you once knew was gone, taken over by some sort of personal vendetta he had against Miles. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this all needs to stop before it gets taken too far. You’re getting into a fight you can’t win. That kid’s strong and so are his allies. And if you go any further into this, I won’t be here to help you.” He stayed still and only turned his head to look at you. “And what makes you think that you’re so important to my plan that it’ll fall apart if you leave? Have you really become that pretentious?”
Your body froze. Have I really? No no no, that’s exactly what he wants. If you begin to doubt yourself now, you’ll stay and nothing will change. You knew you were right. He was trying to crumble you down, but you wouldn’t let that happen. “And you really think that one kid is going to ruin something that you’ve been working for for years? How insecure you’ve become.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, turning back away from you. You did the same, wiping off your face in anger. “I hate it when you do tha-,” you said as you turned back around, but were cut off to find Miguel standing there right in front of you. He was close. Too close to your liking, although in any other circumstance you would’ve found this attractive.
He tilted his head up, but his eyes were down staring daggers into yours. You hated how much he tried to make himself seem more superior to you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeated, this time slower as if you were a child. “He’s just a kid Miguel,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “An anomaly. And a dangerous one at that.” “God Miguel, all he wants to do is protect his dad, do you know how insane you sound right now?” you said letting out a slight laugh when you finished. You backed away from him a little. “He doesn’t know how much damage he’ll do with this. Saving his father will only prolong the inevitable. His world will be gone within hours if he does this. All I’m trying to do is make him understand,” he tried to explain. “By trying to kill him.” “You always have to exaggerate the situation,” he said palming his face. “But that’s essentially what you’re trying to do isn’t it? Why not snuff out the problem entirely by taking him out!”
He signed and began to walk away while you were talking, bringing up your anger even more. “Yeah, use all the power you’ve accumulated over the years and just take out the small problem! Except this isn’t just a fly on the wall Miguel. This is a child! An innocent boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him, just like how we didn’t. I get it, I’m sorry that this job is stressful, I really am. But that gives you zero right to act the way you are!” You were screaming at him at this point. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want your emotions to get the best of you. But he was being too stubborn. This was the only way you thought you could get to him. You might not have wanted to, but you needed to hurt him now. It was the only way.
“You can’t be so power blind that you refused to accept the fact that there could be a way around Captain Davis’ death. You said we saved Earth’s before, I’m sure we could do it again.” Your anger only kept rising when he kept walking away and didn’t respond. “This is a personal thing isn’t it?” you asked calmly. You knew it was working now when he stopped walking. “Yeah, it it. You won’t let Miles get his happy ending. Because why should he be pardoned of his burden while the rest of us have suffered so much. While you’ve suffered so much.” The answer to your question was confirmed when Miguel stayed silent. “Just because you didn’t get the life you wanted Miguel, doesn’t mean you have the right to stop other people from getting theirs.”
You knew you overstepped the line when Miguel turned around and started walking towards you, fury burning in his crimson eyes. “Yeah, so what! What if that is what this is all about! You should know better than anyone how much this job takes away from you!” he screamed at you, backing you up into a wall. “Why should he get to be let off so easily, while people like you and me have to suffer so much? Don’t try to turn me into the villain here when I know you’re thinking the exact same thing, y/n.” He wasn’t entirely wrong. You had wondered it at some points. “I won’t let you turn this onto me Miguel, this is about you,” you fired back. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. I know you’re thinking it. And you’re right. Why should Miles get let off so easily when you’ve lost so much.” He held your hands in his, trying to connect to you. “And you have mi vida. You’ve had so much taken from you and it’s unfair. Why should he only have lost one person when you’ve had three taken from you. Your brother, Peter, your moth-.”
He was cut off by your hand striking against his face in a harsh blow. “If you’re smart, and I know you are, you’ll keep those three out of them. I won’t let you drag their names through the dirt for something as stupid as this.” You both stood there for a while, both of your eyes looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up to swallow you both as an escape from this god awful conversation. You never wanted it to come to this. In all honesty, you cared for Miguel. You might’ve even loved him, if you were even capable of doing such a thing. You hoped he felt the same way about you, but in a job like this, he always had at least one wall up around you. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. You were too tired to keep trying for something that was most likely going to fall apart in the end. 
“You’re still going after him aren’t you?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Miguel looked back up at you. “You can’t ask me not to. You know better than anyone why this is so important to me.” He moved his hand up to cup your cheek and kissed your forehead gently. You let it sit there for a minute out of habit before pushing it off your face. “And you must know why I can’t stay anymore then.” His shoulders dropped. “Whatever this thing between us is. It’s over. I can’t stay beside someone who can’t see what he’s doing is wrong.” Miguel’s dropped hand turned into a fist of anger. “Fine,” he spat in your face. “I don’t need someone like you in my way. You’re just a liability to this anyways.” He began to walk away from you back to his scanners. “Just don’t come crying back over to me when your little plan doesn’t work out, cause I won’t help you.” He used his webs to pull himself back up to the platform to keep looking for Miles. You stood there for a second, gathering yourself.
Five years. Out the door just like that. It bewildered you how easily a bond like you two had could be broken all because of one teenager. You began to make your way for the door before you said. “When this is all over…don’t try to find me.” He didn’t respond. Once the elevator doors opened, you rushed inside, desperate to get away from him. So many thoughts rushed through your head as the doors closed and you sunk down back to the lobby to leave. You didn’t have much of a plan. This could end up being a horrible idea. Your gut told you it was the right thing to do though. And that was enough for you. You walked out of the headquarters lobby with a new heart and a new mind, ready to take action for your new plan.
First though, you had to find Gwen.
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a/n: god that took longer than it should've. dw dw i'll do a part 2 if enough people ask for one. im not 100% sure how im gonna do a part 2 cause yk....idk how beyond the spiderverse is gonna go so tbh, we're just gonna make it go the way i want lmao. thanks for reading, ik this was kind of a long one lmao
NEXT CHAPTER
5K notes · View notes
oraclefreak · 4 months
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I think we, DPS fans, don't talk about Charlie during the school's tribute to Neil enough.
He's not singing.
Meeks, Pitts and Knox are singing, letting all their feelings out.
Cameron is singing a little calmer. You can see the sadness in him though.
Todd is stuttering words, not even singing—but he's trying.
Charlie does not sing.
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I'm sorry for the picture's quality.
At first I thought he didn't sing because he was angry at Neil for leaving all of them; the Dead Poets, Keating and his dreams of becoming an actor. We saw at the beginning of the film how Charlie tried to convince Neil to speak up to his parents. I think he really wanted Neil to be happy, and he knew he wouldn't be if he stayed silent and pursued being a doctor because of his father.
During Neil and Mr. Keating's talk in the office, Neil mentioned Charlie: "We are not a rich family like Charlie's" (quoted by memory). Charlie tried to make Neil pursue acting when they had different social backgrounds; Charlie could go against his parents and not ruin everything. But Neil was an only child from a family that was mantained by his father and no one else... and not particularly wealthy either.
Even if they had those differences, they didn't separate them. And both of them were boys with dreams they couldn't follow easily. Charlie was more rebellious (especially when it came to school's authorities). Neil was more of the type to go with whatever people wanted. Charlie was more risk-taking. Neil's risk in the whole movie was participating in the play (yes, the club wasn't a Neil risk; it was all of the poets').
Charlie was really proud of Neil for finally following his dreams.
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"He's good. He's really good."
Sounds familiar?
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"I was good. I was really good."
This parallel makes sense to me, especially if we analyze the very first scene of Charlie and Neil in the movie. As I said, Charlie wanted Neil to speak up to his father. And when he did and it all broke apart; Neil said words Charlie had said about him during the play.
Obviously, Charlie disliked Neil's dad. We can be sure about that, definitely.
The school's tribute to Neil was either Mr. Perry's idea or he gave the permission to do it. The authorities thought of Neil's death as the institution's problem. Keating was suspicious from the beginning because of his unconventional teaching methods (plus Mr. Perry thought Keating told Neil to keep his place in the performance, which he did—but he made it look like it was a real problem... 1950s, let's go).
Charlie didn't think this event of singing words of grief and so on was for Neil. Neil didn't die to be missed. Neil died because he would miss out on what he wanted to do. But that reasoning didn't even come across the authorities' heads.
I think of Charlie as a person who has an internal philosophy, a reasoning that most people wouldn't think of. So, when every single one of his friends are singing because they miss Neil; Charlie does not sing because this is a way to pay respects to Mr. Perry for losing his son. A way to say the authorities are right. A way to say "Neil... poor boy." Neil was miserable because he wasn't free. And his only way to be free was... not living.
I believe this "Charlie wasn't singing" thing can be interpreted in many, many ways. I probably overanalyzed it because 6 years of DPS make someone go insane eventually. What I do think is clear is that Neil and Charlie's friendship was very obvious from the start. And yes, the not singing thing is something to observe and think about... but their whole friendship isn't very talked about in the fandom! And I had the idea to write about not only the movie's scenes that have both of them, but also how I perceive it (hence why I would describe this post as a theory rather than facts).
I would love to see other people's takes on this subject too !!
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ckret2 · 3 months
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Chapter 59 of human Bill Cipher possibly not being the Mystery Shack's prisoner because he got executed two chapters ago:
Everything you haven't wondered about how Bill survived his execution.
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7:27 a.m.
Mabel didn't know why, but figuring out when to ask Mrs. Grendinator to pull over had felt as stressful as trying to throw a ping pong ball into a passing car's open fuel door to land in the little fuel pipe. All she had to do was ask to pull over after they'd passed everything but the last truck stop, but before it was too late for Mrs. Grendinator to make the turn into the Triple Digit parking lot. That was a large window. It wasn't easy to miss. Somehow Mabel still dreaded that she'd speak up too late and Mrs. Grendinator would say she'd have to wait for the next rest stop—by which point Bill would have splatted like a bug against the weirdness barrier while everyone else passed safely through.
But she'd managed to blurt out "I forgot to use the bathroom at home. Can we pull over?"; they'd stopped at the Triple Digit Truck Stop; and Mabel made it inside before her friends could catch her.
She locked the unisex restroom door, set her backpack on the ground, opened it up, and sighed with relief when she saw Bill sitting on her sweater. She carefully pulled him out, set him on the floor, and pointed the height-altering flashlight at him.
For a moment after returning to his true size, he remained seated on the floor, legs bent, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. Worriedly, Mabel asked, "You okay?"
"Think I learned what motion sickness is," Bill groaned. "Just—gimme a sec."
"Aww, I'm sorry." Mabel surreptitiously checked in her backpack to make sure Bill hadn't been sick on her sweater. (It was a cool one. It had kissing parrots.)
After a few deep breaths, Bill lifted his head enough to look at Mabel. The first thing he said was, "'Cool big brother-slash-sister,' huh?" He gave her a queasy, but cheeky, grin.
"Shut uuup you weren't supposed to hear that!" She'd just about died with embarrassment when Candy had repeated that where she knew Bill could hear.
"I'm flattered." Bill uncurled himself from his nauseous half-fetal position; and then, gripping onto the sink for support, got back to his feet. "Being smaller again was nice, but I'm never traveling like that again."
"You're such a whiner."
"Yeah, yeah. I have a lot to whine about. I'm dead and about to be executed. Talk about... lose your cake and... not-eat it, too."
Mabel laughed. Bill mussed her hair, grinning, and said, "Hey, you've got no room to laugh, you're the one with the not-setting-houses-on-fire bit."
"Arrrgh, don't remind me!" She pushed Bill to the side so she could use the mirror to straighten out her hair again.
"You did pretty well, though! I'd say that was some of the best acting I've ever seen out of you."
"You too! They definitely bought it," Mabel said. "Even Grunkle Stan was getting worried."
"Especially back in the kitchen, wow! That was really convincing." He paused. "Really, really convincing."
Something heavy hung in the air. Mabel focused on her hair in the mirror.
Bill said, "That bit in the kitchen about me 'depending' on you." He exaggerated the air quotes around the word, distancing himself from the concept. "It wasn't on our list."
"Yeah. It just kinda... seemed right. Improv." Mabel waved unenthusiastic jazz hands.
"It bothers you."
Mabel winced. "I mean... I'm not actually mad at you. But. I want to help, but I don't know what to do for..." She gestured at Bill. "The whole being dead on an alien planet issue."
"Believe it or not, the hoodie helps," Bill said. "Listening helps." But he couldn't meet her gaze; he was fiddling with his friendship bracelet instead. He had to know how heavy even just listening to him could be.
"I'm glad, but... I just... wish you had more friends you could talk to."
Bill nodded morosely. "So do I." It wasn't like he'd chosen to only have one friend, was it? Prisoners didn't get to make those kinds of decisions.
Mabel asked, "Do you really think I think you're just a summer fix-it project?"
"I... pfff... come on, I watched you spend all last summer handing out makeovers and dating advice. You've already done my makeup, taken me clothes shopping, and tried to pump me for info on what kinds of freaks I'm into."
(Mabel quietly filed away the fact that Bill referred to "freaks" as his preferred romantic targets.)
"That's how your summer was going to end," Bill said. "You tame the monster, go home triumphant, and don't worry about it anymore. Like how you patched up Broken Heart's love life and left him to sort out the consequences."
"No!" Mabel huffed, "I mean—maybe a little at the beginning, but... you're really my friend now, I'd hate it if I never saw you again. I don't give friendship bracelets to just anybody!"
Bill kind of thought she did; but he wasn't about to argue. "Well, I've only given one person a bracelet, and I meant it." (Even more now than when he'd originally made it.) "You're never getting rid of me now, star girl. You're stuck with me forever!"
Coming out of Bill Cipher, the promise should have filled her with dread. A month ago it would have filled her with dread. But Mabel just found it comforting. "Good."
(And Ford hadn't felt any dread when he'd sworn "until the end of time," either.)
Bill took off his backpack and rummaged through it. "Now let me make sure I can keep that promise."
He took out a map of the mountains and forest around Gravity Falls and spread it out on the floor for them to kneel in front of. "You know about the spaceship buried under town? When its ring cut through the mountain, a few chunks of the ship dislodged and were buried in one of the mountains. No human has ever found them before, not even your great uncle. That's where I'll hide."
"Are the chunks big enough to hide in?"
"Sure! There's one that'd serve as a decent studio apartment. Well—the cheapest studio apartment in Manhattan, maybe. But, hey, I don't have much furniture."
On the map, he showed Mabel a route to reach the base of the cliff, tracing it with his finger. She couldn't afford to take a map with the route marked; if the adults discovered Bill's escape and confiscated Mabel's possessions, a marked map would lead them straight to him. She'd just have to do her best to memorize the route he described. "When and if the coast is clear, you can come find me there."
"How do I get up the cliff?"
"Don't worry about that. You make it that far, I'll take care of the rest."
And that was all they could afford to discuss. Mabel couldn't hide in here for long. As Bill refolded the map (and Mabel was awed to learn he was the kind of person who could refold maps correctly on the first try), and he packed the map and the height-altering flashlight in his backpack, they each tried separately to figure out how to get around to saying goodbye.
"I uh... I know you're sticking your neck out for me, kid." (Bill wasn't used to this, wasn't used to people who didn't help him due to fear or duty or lies, wasn't used to people who still wanted to help him after they knew what he was really like.) "So, thanks—"
Mabel flung her arms around him. Her voice thick, she said, "I think your manners are getting better."
"Shut up, I've always known how to say thanks." It was gratitude that was new.
"Be safe out there," Mabel said. "Don't die, or else. Remember to eat. And drink water! And do laundry sometimes."
"All right, all right. You'll find me in better health than you left me. All the sunshine and fresh air this body can take."
"I'll miss you."
Keep it together, Cipher. He swallowed hard. "Have you ever heard the song 'We'll Meet Again'?"
"Uh-uh?"
"Old war song. Look it up once you're in Portland, when you aren't busy having synthesizers pumped in your ears."
"Is it about... how we'll meet again?"
"Yes, smartypants. Look it up anyway," Bill said. "I'll miss you too."
Mabel washed her face, left the restroom, and shut the door behind her; and Bill waited in the dark while everyone left.
####
7:45 a.m.
A woman with two children opened the unisex restroom door, and gasped in shock when she saw a human silhouette lurking in the dark, one eye shining.
"Hey, thanks, lady! Couldn't get the door for some reason." He breezed past her. "Careful, it sticks from the inside."
He grabbed an empty backpack for sale, and loaded it up with supplies, food, and drinks. (The good stuff, not the weak cider he got in the Mystery Shack. He was making margaritas tonight.) He headed up to the cash register... veered to a currently-unmanned register, stole a handful of loose change out of a tip jar, and timed his exit so he walked out just as a man walked in and kindly held the door for him.
####
7:55 a.m.
It was a fair walk from Triple Digit back to the cliffs around Gravity Falls. When Bill was a safe distance into the woods, he unzipped his first backpack, retrieved his flattened top hat, and popped it out; and then continued on, behatted and using his umbrella like a cane.
Even with no sleep, even just a couple of days after the worst hiking trip in history, even tired and sore from an hour of frenzied dancing, even carrying two full backpacks with one strap slung over each shoulder, even with the sky gloomy and overcast—this was the best he'd felt since Weirdmageddon.
His steps were sure, his body was unchained, and the future had opened up for him again.
####
8:00 a.m.
Mabel kept glancing out the window, back in the direction of Gravity Falls, waiting and waiting to see the light of some kind of killer laser cut through the sky.
Maybe the Quantum Destabilizer's beam just wasn't visible from this far. Maybe they'd decided to wait to execute Bill. Maybe they hadn't wasted their shot because they'd already discovered Bill and Mabel's ruse. Maybe the "enchantment" Bill had written hadn't done its job.
But if they had discovered Bill was missing, they would've called Mabel immediately, trying to find out what she'd done and where he'd gone.
Her phone sat hard and heavy and silent in her pocket.
The butterflies in her stomach didn't stop fluttering until long after they reached Portland.
####
10:30 a.m.
Plus or minus a few trees, the rendezvous point at the base of the cliff was just how Bill had remembered last seeing it millennia ago. The Trilazzx Betan proximity sensor that had been embedded in the cliff face since the ship crash was still there and still sensing, even after millions of years and a layer of stone had closed around it. He could see it behind the face of the cliff; and it could see him.
He took out the multi-tool pocket knife Dipper had "donated" to Bill's supplies, flipped out the blade, and carved his face in a tree far enough from the rendezvous point to avoid notice by anyone who found this spot, but near enough it could see anyone who showed up. He made it as accurate as he could—hat, bow, limbs, eyelashes. That would unfortunately make it easier for humans to identify the face if anyone happened to walk by, but his ability to connect to his other eyes was still weak, he needed as much of a boost as he could get. He licked the bark, leaving his saliva to connect the eye on the tree to him.
And then he returned to the rendezvous point at the base of the cliff, and, beneath the watchful eye of the proximity sensor, began digging in the dirt with his hands.
Beneath the soil, fortunately not buried too deep, was a stone shaped like a small tombstone with several symbols carved into its surface that superficially resembled common runes. Bill brushed the dirt off of his leggings and rubbed it out of the carved lines in the stone. It was lucky that today was overcast; it would make this thing a lot easier to control.
Bill took out the flashlight, removed the height-altering crystal, turned it on, and aimed the beam at the topmost rune.
The runes began glowing an eerie green.
The ground shuddered; and then a patch of ground five feet in diameter lifted up into the air, carrying Bill with it, tearing the grass at the edge of the circle, propelled by a long-forgotten enchanted stone platform concealed in the clump of dirt.
He rose to the gouge that the spaceship had carved into the mountain; and then he moved his flashlight's beam to another rune. The platform smoothly shifted to moving sideways, gliding beneath the ancient overhang. When he turned off the flashlight, the stone stopped glowing and gently settled to the ground. Bill stepped off, fished a spare shirt out of his backpack, and pulled it over the rune-covered stone so it couldn't take off if the sun came out. There was a reason this buried stone was the only platform of its kind left in the area outside of the deep mountain caverns: leave one outside on a sunny day where the light can hit its runes, and next thing you know it's zoomed out over the Pacific and is quickly rising toward space.
He surveyed the area. Every once in a while humans climbed up here just for the challenge of it, delightful little explorers they were; but he doubted anyone had been up here in decades. He stood in front of what was, to all appearances, a completely nondescript patch of stony ground; and he said, in heavily accented but intelligible Trilazzx Betan, "Let me in, you hunk of junk. Activate emergency crash protocols."
A fragment of ship deep beneath the ground stirred awake, registered the command, analyzed itself and concluded from the fact that it wasn't in space and was separated from 99% of the rest of itself that it had indeed crashed, and activated emergency crash protocols. In acknowledgment of the dire situation, it deactivated its usual authorized personnel list—there was no sense in waiting for the captain to approve new orders if the captain might be dead—accepted the command given by the unknown being above it, and opened its hatch.
Millions of years of solid stone groaned and buckled in protest at being moved; but Trilazzx Betan engineering was strong enough for the framework of a portal capable of ripping a hole between dimensions without being ripped apart itself. The stone yielded first. A hatch swung up, revealing a tilted chamber descending into the cliff.
Bill strolled confidently down the walkway. "Cancel distress signal. Disable life support's air filtering." The fragment of a ship beeped a warning, and Bill responded, "I'm aware of this planet's high oxygen content. You worry about your health, I'll worry about mine. Disable air filtering." The ship beeped a confirmation. "Reconnect to all external proximity sensors in range and display on screens one, two, and three." This broken part of the ship had once handled communications. It had a whole wall of screens. He wondered whether he could jury rig this thing to pick up human satellite TV. Nah, probably not worth the effort.
He slung off his backpacks and started unpacking.
####
12:04 p.m.
It was time.
Dipper sat on the floor and put his head in his hands. He felt sick.
He was dead. In just a few seconds Ford would discover that Bill was gone—Dipper was sure he was gone, they hadn't heard a peep from the room, Mabel must've snuck him out or left him some escape route—and then Ford would know that someone had warned Bill and Mabel, and then Dipper was dead—
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah." Dipper waved Ford off. "Just... didn't get much sleep. Little dizzy." Ford would never trust him again. Stan would be furious. They'd both be furious.
"You can go downstairs if you..."
"No no, I'm fine, I..." Dipper took a deep breath and lifted his head. "I'll face it." Better to get it over with now than to hide downstairs and wait for it. 
Stan nodded. "Good man." He wouldn't be so proud of Dipper in a moment.
Ford nodded, stood, opened the door—and Dipper buried his face in his hands again.
####
12:06 p.m.
Ford could see Bill up in the loft, hood up and shoulders hunched, back to the room. Ford could shoot Bill in the back without him ever waking up.
He climbed into the loft. Bill lay curled up in a ball, a small as Ford had ever seen him.
But it only took a moment for Ford's eyes to adjust to the dark; and even in the dim light through the stained glass window, he could tell:
The shape in front of him wasn't human. Just lumpy clothes.
Ford whipped around, heart pounding, clutching the Quantum Destabilizer's carrying case against his chest, searching for the real Bill lurking somewhere in the shadows. No sign of him. Ford had already looked on the floor level. Was he gone? How?
He was too dumbfounded to be outraged. He walked up to the dummy to pull it apart—
And saw the paper, folded in quarters, floating in the air above it. Four symbols in a cipher were written atop the paper. Ford recognized them: it was the alien alphabet of an interdimensional pidgin used as a written lingua franca throughout the Nightmare Realm and its bordering regions; it was so widespread that Ford had learned the alphabet before he ever left Earth.
The four letters read, "F O R D".
Ford plucked the paper out of the air and unfolded it.
Stanford–
I'll cut to the chase. I need your help. I don't want to die.
I'm banking on the hope that, in spite of everything you've said and done, part of you also doesn't want me to die.
You have a choice. You can walk out there, tell them I escaped, rally an angry mob, and comb everything under the weirdness barrier for me. This town's not that big and I'll need to eat eventually. We both know I can't hide forever.
Or you can tell them you finished the job. No one looks for me. No one knows but you and me.
I don't have rewards or deals to offer. You already know what I bring to the table. If that hasn't persuaded you to side with me by now, it never will. I'm not bargaining. I'm begging.
I'm asking you, as my friend, to help me survive.
Please.
· –·-– -–
Of course.
How dare he.
Had Bill planned this all along? Was this why he'd insisted he wanted to be Ford's friend? Was this why he'd saved his life? Maybe the entire rescue had been staged—the rescue, the performance of fear over a harmless phenomenon, the mental breakdown, all of it. For all Ford knew, maybe the accursed Axolotl was in on the scheme! How clairvoyant was Bill? Had he seen this moment coming?
But if he'd seen this moment coming, wouldn't it have been easier to just let Ford, his executioner-to-be, die? Ford and Dipper both, so Dipper wouldn't figure out how to synthesize NowUSeeitNowUDontium? If he'd saved them in spite of that, didn't that make it a sincere gesture?
But implication was clear: I've been a friend to you, now be one to me. A life for a life. There was nothing sincere in that. It was pure self interest.
(For just a couple of days, Ford really had thought it was sincere.)
But if the only reason Bill had saved Ford was to save himself—then why had Bill endangered his own life in the process?
With every thought Ford's paranoia pendulumed.
He should get Stan. Call the cops, confess who they'd been harboring for the past month, tell them everything, get a manhunt going before Bill could make it any further away. Even if he couldn't leave the weirdness barrier, there were probably hundreds of hidden hidey-holes Bill could dig himself into that humans had never seen—unexplored hallways in Crash Site Omega, uncharted caverns behind Trembley Falls where Bill didn't even need light to see. They could drag him back into the light, tie him up, aim the Quantum Destabilizer straight at him...
But. In spite of himself, he could still see Mabel's drawing hopefully reassigning Bill the role of a superhero. He could still see the crumpled drawing in his pocket—"I BELIEVE IN YOU. YOU CAN CHANGE!" He could still see Dipper tentatively asking whether they might need Bill someday. He could still see Bill playing teacher in the living room. And for a moment, for just a moment, Bill had been so good. He could be so good.
Why couldn't you have been this person?
Why can't you be this person?
What if he could be better? What if he could be decent? What if he could be a friend?
Ford didn't believe Bill was any better today than he had been the day he died. But—at some point, something had slowly turned over in Ford's mind. He believed that Bill could change. Not would change, not is changing, but could. And if Ford started a manhunt, Bill would never be a threat again—but he'd also never be better.
There was a point where the doubt and hope built up to a critical mass—when they became enough, just enough, to stay the trigger finger. Because once Ford fired on Bill, that was it. All chances were gone forever. It was over. If Bill was alive they could always try again to kill him later; but if Bill was dead, they could never try again to better him.
And for the first time in thirty years, Ford wanted Bill to be better more than he wanted Bill to be dead.
Ford looked at the dummy. Looked at the note.
And then he lay the note on the dummy, knelt by the edge of the loft, opened his case, and removed the Quantum Destabilizer.
####
12:09 p.m.
Ten minutes ago, Bill had been in the process of emptying out his backpacks and finding nooks and cubbies amongst the alien communication workstations where he could tuck his supplies, when he'd glanced out the open hatch and noticed the beforeimage of the shot lighting up the sky.
He'd come out of his shelter to watch the moment approach; but he hadn't quite believed it until it was in the present and actually happening. The blue-white beam of the Quantum Destabilizer—its one and only shot—screamed off into the sky.
"Well, what do you know," he murmured, standing at the edge of the cliff, hands on his hips, staring out in wonder over the town. "I really didn't think you'd do it."
Ford had saved his life.
Bill crossed his arms tight and tried to convince himself he didn't wonder why.
####
12:10 p.m.
Ford heard Dipper and Stan come into the bedroom and climb the ladder. He was seized by an urge to sweep away the ashes and the evidence of his trick before they could realize what he'd done.
"Grunkle Ford...?"
He forced himself to speak. "It's done."
"So... Bill is...?"
Ford suddenly realized: Dipper knew Bill wasn't in here. He must have warned Mabel, and Mabel had arranged for Bill to be alone in their room long enough to escape.
Which meant Dipper knew Bill was alive.
(Bill had written, "No one knows but you and me." Bill was covering for the kids.)
Ford turned to look him in the eyes. "Yes, he's dead."
Which meant Dipper knew what Ford had done—and knew Ford knew what he had done.
Neither one of them needed to say anything else to know what the other was thinking. They just shared a look—the two most miserable co-conspirators in Gravity Falls.
####
12:25 p.m.
Bill sat cross-legged at the edge of the cliff and watched until the afterimage of the Quantum Destabilizer's shot had faded from the sky; and then he went inside his shelter, mixed the world's lamest margarita in a coffee mug, took it outside, sat again, and toasted toward the town and the Mystery Shack.
Here's to survival.
He sat outside until the gash the Quantum Destabilizer had cut in the clouds closed and it began to rain.
####
1:10 p.m.
Stan had come and gone a few minutes ago, and already Ford had forgotten everything he'd said, if he'd even registered it in the first place.
His fingers had itched until he'd finally had a moment to steal down to his study, retrieve Journal 5, and bring it up to the guest room; and now for over half an hour he'd been feverishly writing down every single thing he could remember learning about Bill over the last two days. The drawing of his homeworld. His lecture on biangles and psychic powers. How polygons inherited their sides. (Their royalty sounded nigh on Habsburgian; had their political system ever changed?) What little details Bill had let slip about where Edward Bishop Bishop's book was wrong. (Had he told Mabel more about their relationship? He'd have to ask when she was home.) How Bill signed his letter: "· -·-- --", Morse code for "EYM," was it an acronym, was it a code, what did it mean, why did he write it in two colors? How Bill spelled Mabel's name in alien alphabets: Mabelle, Maybell, the varying extra letters. How Bill danced: how he struggled to cross his ankles, how he turned out his feet, how his spine and shoulders never bent, how the complex ways he tilted his legs and pelvis compensated for his stiff spine.
If Bill was sticking around a while longer, then these details still mattered.
He refused to forget a thing.
####
Sunday, 12:02 a.m.
As "We'll Meet Again" finished playing, Mabel turned off her phone, put it back on her nightstand, and wiped her eyes again. Big stupid dork couldn't even say this himself, he had to hide it behind a song. 
Yes. They would meet again. Law of attraction. Believing it was the first step to making it come true.
####
10:20 a.m.
The fearful butterflies in Mabel's stomach had slowly returned during the drive home from Portland. No one had texted her—was that a good sign?—but she was afraid it just meant they'd decided to let her enjoy the rest of her trip before letting her know she was grounded forever for helping Bill escape. When they'd all greeted her at the door, looking so somber, and she was sure she was about to get the bad news, she'd just had to keep acting normal and hope she wasn't gonna get in more trouble for playing dumb.
The last thing she expected Stan to say was, "Weshotim."
"Say wha?"
"We got that—space gun of Ford's working. We shot him. He's... I'm sorry, sweetie."
Mabel stared at Stan. That was impossible—there was no way they'd found Bill. But—if Stan believed he was dead...
She dragged her gaze from his face to Dipper's. Dipper bit his lips, staring at his feet. He wouldn't meet her eyes—too afraid that even looking at her would give something away.
She looked from Dipper to Ford. "Grunkle Ford?" She tried not to hope. "Is it true?"
There was no way he'd believed the dummy was real. The moment she'd read Bill's so-called "enchantment," she'd known making it believable was never the point. Bill's only real plan had always been to get Ford on their side.
For a long moment, Ford said nothing. He dragged his eyes up to meet her stare, took a deep breath, and nodded. "He's dead."
Mabel's eyes widened. Two days ago, Ford had been the one arguing that killing Bill was their only choice. If he'd changed his mind...
If anyone said anything else, she didn't register it in her excitement. She backed out of the doorway, leaped off the porch, and ran around the shack, looking for her bike. 
She had to see Bill immediately.
####
10:21 a.m.
Quietly, Dipper asked, "Did we do the right thing?"
Ford didn't know. His stomach had been twisting with guilt and doubt since yesterday. His conscience had kept him up half the night. "I hope so."
He feared they'd have second-guessed themselves no matter what.
####
2:30 p.m.
Bill was asleep. He'd been sleeping off and on for most of the past day. This was the first time since he'd died that he had somewhere safe to sleep—somewhere nobody could touch his vulnerable body, nobody could move him, drown him, kill him.
And this was the first time he hadn't been helpless and sightless.
In his sleep, he saw his own body, curled up on the tilted floor against a wall, on top of the sleeping bag and under the Pony Heist bedsheet, from an eye he'd drawn on the ceiling.
From another eye he'd drawn on the wall, he saw the ship's open hatch, the overhang above, a small sliver of the gray drizzly sky over Gravity Falls.
And from his eye on the tree, blurry and fading as the rain washed away his saliva, he saw a human-shaped mass of raucous colors exploring the pit in the ground left behind by his hovering platform.
A human? He sat up with a gasp and looked at the screen displaying the proximity sensors. Sure enough, the sensor at the base of the cliff was displaying a Mabel-shaped silhouette.
He grabbed his flashlight and climbed out of his shelter.
####
"Kid, what are you doing out out here?!"
Mabel looked up. Bill was some twenty feet above her and quickly descending on what looked like a chunk of flying dirt the same size as the pit in the ground she'd been inspecting. "Bill!" She leaned her bike against the cliff face. Finally—she'd been wandering around in the trees forever trying to figure out where Bill's rendezvous point was hidden.
"It's pouring rain," Bill scolded. "You could lose your immune system or—or slip in the mud or something."
"Wow, nice to see you too, mom." Mabel ran up as Bill landed his floating chunk of ground.
"Hey, I don't want anything happening to my favorite human!" He scooted over to make room for her on the platform. "Just couldn't wait for a sunny day to meet again, huh?"
"Psh, come on! Like you meant that literally." Near Bill, the rain had mysteriously stopped landing on Mabel. She looked up and saw the rain simply parting in the air over Bill's head.
He noticed her glance and said, "Did I ever teach you the spell to repel rain? Remind me to do that before you go." He pointed his flashlight's beam at a rune on a stone rising from the platform, and it lifted off again. "Nice sweater today." He poked one parrot-winged sleeve, its bright colors darkened by the soaking rain. "It probably looked better dry."
Mabel smacked away his hand. "Bill, guess what! Grunkle Ford decided to protect you!"
"I know, I saw the wasted shot from here." He steered the platform onto the cliff. He landed it next to a hatch that opened into a subterranean tunnel. "Of course, I always knew he would. Didn't I say we'd pull this off?"
Sure he'd known. That was why he'd lied about what the "enchanted" paper really was so Mabel wouldn't worry.
Mabel followed him down into the metal tunnel. "Do you know what this means? You can come back to the shack!"
Bill turned to stare at her in bewilderment. "Why would I want to do that?"
"Because... it's safe now? They're not gonna kill you?" Mabel squinted. "Why's it so dark in here?"
"Oh, right. You need this." Bill offered the flashlight.
Mabel turned it on. They were in a metal chamber, about half the size of the Mystery Shack's floor room and nowhere near as tall. One end of it had been torn off and dirt and stone served as the new wall. Most of the walls were dominated by heavy metal consoles, curved metal chairs, and screens, a few of which were on but flickered irritatingly. One chair still had a fossilized alien skeleton in it. Bill had put his top hat on it.
His supplies were piled haphazardly on consoles and the floor; all Mabel saw in his food pile was shelf-stable junk food and drinks. The air somehow felt more damp in here than it did outside with the rain. The chairs didn't have cushions, the floor didn't have carpet; everything was hard and cold and dark. She didn't even see a door for a bathroom in here. This was where Bill was staying?
"The Mystery Shack is safe for now," Bill said. "Just wait until Stanley decides to take another swing at me, or Dolores poisons my dinner again—or Ford changes his mind, dunks me in the bathtub, and doesn't let me back out."
"They wouldn't..." Mabel trailed off. She tried to imagine how mad Stan would be when he found out Bill was alive, and had to concede he might.
"Even if it was safe—why would I go back to that sorry makeshift prison?" Bill hopped up into one of the tilted alien chairs. There was a weird extended bit designed for alien anatomy that curved up at the end of the seat and forced Bill to straddle the chair rather than sit in it normally; it didn't look comfortable. "After almost a month and a half, I'm finally free!"
"Free inside a tiny bubble around the town," Mabel protested. "To live in a... weird little metal dirt room."
"Freely moving inside the entire barrier is a lot better than freely moving through half a shack! Surrounded by people who want me dead! I don't even get full privacy when I'm using the toilet—that's the bare minimum humans offer as basic respect! You don't know how many times I've been walked in on!"
"Do you even have a toilet here?"
Bill hesitated. "There's a—there are gas stations within walking distance."
"How are you gonna get into the restroom?"
"Fine, I'll dig a pit or something, all right? The point is, whatever I do, at least I can do it in freedom!"
He hadn't planned this through at all, Mabel realized. He'd only thought as far ahead as finding food and shelter that would last him the next couple of days. "But..." She gestured at the pathetic room around them. "The shack's got a proper roof and a shower and real food—wouldn't that be better than this?"
Bill scoffed "Only humans care about roofs and showers, and the idea of 'real' food is a social construct I reject!"
He'd be miserable here. Mabel couldn't let Bill do this to himself. "Then don't you wanna be in the shack with your only friend on Earth?" She gave him a pleading look. "Would you really rather spend the rest of summer in some dumb old busted alien ship?"
There was a flash of light reflected in the dark as Bill's eyes turned away from Mabel.
"Bill?"
He didn't respond. He trudged past her, halfway up the walkway out of the ship, and stopped there, his back to Mabel, hands on his hips, staring out into the rain. He sighed. "Kid, you're trying to give me Stockholm syndrome."
"I don't know what that means."
"It means I'll think about it," Bill said, voice flat. "Go back to the shack."
Before Mabel could move, Bill said, "Hold on. Let me teach you that umbrella spell first." He turned and descended back into the ship. "And when's the last time you ate? Human bodies act pathetic if they don't get glucose every three hours. Get some lunch, it's a long bike back to the shack." He gestured at his meager food supplies.
She rummaged through the foil bags and colorful boxes and grabbed some Chipackers and sour gummy dolphins.
Bill sat near her, grabbed a bag of jerky for himself, and said, "And tell me about that concert you abandoned me to my doom for."
####
4:00 p.m.
Bill escorted Mabel down off the cliff—and, at her request, let her borrow the flashlight and wiggle the floating platform back and forth a little as they descended. He took back the flashlight when she nearly crashed the platform and killed them both.
"Where'd this come from?" Mabel asked, poking the stone. "Did the aliens make this, too?"
"Nope! This is good old local Earth magic. Ever hear of Caterpillar Man?"
"Is that some kind of superhero?"
"Afraid not. Well—ever hear of Grendel?"
"Uh-uh."
They were nearly at the ground now. "I think I'll tell you next time."
As the platform lifted him back up, Bill watched Mabel wheel her bike through the trees, slowly heading toward the main road back into town.
For a midsummer day, it was chilly in the rain.
####
Monday, 1:03 a.m.
And it was even chillier in the post-midnight dark when he knocked on the Mystery Shack's door.
####
(Eager to hear what y'all think now that you've seen the full story of how Bill survived—last week once Dipper and Mabel's roles were revealed, I think most folks thought that fully explained how Bill faked his death. ;) Next week is probably a double length chapter, because there's no graceful way to break it in half and also it'd be nice to get this plot arc wrapped up before The Book of Bill comes out lmao.)
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nnnyxie · 3 months
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shigaraki, twice, mr. compress, & spinner with a civilian s/o
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requested by @supernatural-hunter1
“Hi, I read your Dabi with a civilian S/O (aside from the other characters) I want to ask? how even more interesting it would be if the rest of the LOV (Shigaraki, Spinner, Mr. Compress, or whoever else would prefer?) also had a civilian S/O? (quirk or quirkless)”
these are all like,, pre-seasons 5-7
pt. one
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shigaraki tomura / shimura tenko:
⤷ like i said with dabi, i don’t see him being with a civilian. or anyone.
⤷ but if he ended up with a (civilian) partner, i think he’d be protective. especially when it came to pros and the other members.
⤷ he’d be kinda shitty at first, i’ll be so fr.
⤷ it’s nothing like,, extreme. just him acting sort of petty and non communicative when it came to things that bothered him.
⤷ there was a point (early in the relationship) where you almost broke up but, he felt genuine fear at the thought of losing you—
⤷ so you both sat and had a really really really long talk.
⤷ he’s not great with words, or with anything, honestly. but, he begins to try for you. especially after that conversation.
⤷ though, there came a point in the relationship where he had to confess he was part of the league— and he was baffled by how well you took it (aka you already knew)(he didn’t hide it well or at all tbh).
⤷ which— speaking of— he finally introduced you to his… ‘colleagues’.
⤷ immediately toga was obsessed with you!! in the big sibling sort of way, of course.
⤷ the others had no choice but to trust his judgement so they were pretty decent towards you.
⤷ aside from toga, you and spinner got along the best. which worked well for shig since they both gamed together (my personal hc). so having his gaming buddy & partner get along was great.
⤷ anyways, i think as your relationship develops, he becomes a lot better and he’s able to voice his emotions more.
⤷ all in all, he’s a piece of shit at first but, with just a bit of communication, he becomes better. <3
twice / bubaigawara jin:
⤷ squeals
⤷ your relationship with him is oddly cute.
⤷ i think you started dating a year after he joined the league.
⤷ he’s the type to be friends first then eventually become lovers. (which i adore <3) (friends to lovers >>)
⤷ he’s vocal in ways that contradict his emotions (as we all know)
⤷ so communication is definitely hard.
⤷ but!! he eventually finds ways to convey his feelings without the troubles of misunderstanding.
⤷ he’s the type to go above and beyond for his partner. especially since he isn’t always able to voice his love without a sarcastic comment trailing behind.
⤷ twice is a gentle person, despite him being part of the league. which is what makes him a sweet boyfriend.
⤷ he slowly introduces you to the league. first starting off with toga— who immediately saw you as a big sibling. (i love jin and toga’s friendship. big bro & lil sis!!)
⤷ he’s very careful when he introduces you to the others. he knows how they are and isn’t sure what they’d do. (but he couldn’t keep hiding you anyways cause they were starting to piece it all together)
⤷ he’s very careful as to not have you close to the sights of their missions. he doesn’t want you getting hurt if there’s a fight.
⤷ again, he’s such a sweet and gentle boyfriend.
⤷ and you wouldn’t ask for anyone else!!
mr. compress / sako atsuhiro:
⤷ bbygorl……………
⤷ compress is such a gentleman <3
⤷ he pulls out your chair for you nd everything!!
⤷ i think he’s a very,, committed?? partner.
⤷ like— he’s the type to only date someone if he sees a future with them.
⤷ he’s very adamant on you meeting his ‘family’. (i like to think that, despite his status, he’s a big family guy)
⤷ he’s so polite and sweet, you wouldn’t even suspect he’s part of the league.
⤷ sooo when you found out he was, you were quite shocked. but accepted him nonetheless, you love him afterall.
⤷ anyways, i think the league has a hard time accepting you— except for toga & twice (those sweethearts)
⤷ he’s also a very protective partner. not in the crazy way but— in the way where he makes sure you’re never caught in the crossfire of his “wrongdoings”.
⤷ he’s such a good partner— i can’t stress that enough!!
⤷ he’s so “in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman” core… (let’s just ignore the fact that he’s a villain…)
⤷ he’s just a sweet cutie patootie
spinner / iguchi shuichi:
⤷ tbh i don’t see him being w anyone period. he seems too devoted to his ‘work’ to even think abt a relationship.
⤷ that being said… he’s a bit negligent as a partner.
⤷ he prioritizes his ‘job’ over you and it causes trouble in the relationship.
⤷ he wouldn’t be the best partner in the beginning.
⤷ it takes multiple talks and an ‘almost’ breakup before he gets his shit together.
⤷ but once he does— he’s truly a good partner.
⤷ his good treatment towards you isn’t the typical ‘one month and he goes back to before’ kind of thing. he continues to be a great boyfriend.
⤷ and going back to the multiple talks— you set some ground rules. you wanted to know where he was sneaking off to, who his friends are, and just what he does for a living.
⤷ this meant him introducing you to his… buddies…
⤷ personally, i think they all would like you (minus shiggy but he’s a lil bitch boy [/aff] so he doesn’t count)
⤷ they definitely trust his judgement considering how he is— which is harsh and a bit rude.
⤷ but anyways, he always keeps you out of the crossfires of his work. it’d destroy him if you ever got hurt or worse.
⤷ you made him into a little bit of a softie.. <3
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sorry my pookies i was a teensy high writing this…
idk why but being high just gives me motivation to write…
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daiziesssart · 5 months
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a humiliatingly long character analysis of lily evans
Someone sent me an ask that briefly mentioned how misunderstood Lily is, and before I knew it I was typing out this monster. I am. sorry. This is literally just me rambling about her, what I find compelling about her character, and why her character is so often misunderstood.
This is long as hell so I'm putting it under a read more lolol
Part of the reason I like Lily so much (other than my being ginger and projecting onto any redheaded female character I see) is that even though she isn’t explored as much as her other Marauders Era counterparts, we know enough about her to start building the framework for her character. And what I see is a girl who was incredibly interesting, kind, and flawed.
One thing I always think about in regards to Lily is that she was dealt with a pretty unfair hand. As soon as she receives her letter, she’s basically torn between two worlds, both of which have been less than welcome to her. On one hand, we have the muggle world that she’s known all her life, but once she starts integrating into the wizarding world, she likely feels a bit of a disconnect with that world. To twist the knife further, her sister- whom she loved dearly and grew up so close with- starts outwardly resenting her with such unbridled hostility that they likely couldn’t even be in a room alone together without major conflict. 
On the other hand, we have the wizarding world– a world she’s not as familiar with and one she soon learns holds a demographic of people who hate everything she is and would rather see her excommunicated or even dead. And even though finding out you’re a witch/wizard is probably such an exciting and life-changing moment, I can’t help but also take note of the difficulties, especially if you’re the only one in your family with magic. You’re essentially uprooted from the only way of life you’ve known at an already complicated age, and now you have to quickly become acclimated to this new world that you only just found out existed. Not only that, but now you’re suddenly attending a school with classes that are primarily focused on this world of magic (which is still brand new to you), and you have to work extra hard to play catch up in order to do well. Like, that all seems like… a lot for a kid to handle.
And then I remember how young she was when she was thrown into that mess. She was only 11, and kids that age desperately crave any sense of belonging. I mean, that’s something that still holds true for adults, but it’s especially critical for a developing child. So imagine Lily, ages 11-15, struggling to stay afloat in this weird purgatory between these two parts of herself, both of which have been the cause for major and traumatic experiences relating to rejection in her life.
(I say it was the “cause” even though it’s obvious that those things were never her fault at all, but when you’re a young kid navigating the world, the only thing you’re able to process is that the common denominator is you, therefore you’re the one who must shoulder the blame.)
So now we have this tween-teenaged girl who has a dysfunctional relationship with two major parts of identity and probably feels absolutely lost. 
This is why her hesitancy to end her friendship with Snape makes sense to me. Even though by fifth year he’s already well past toeing the line with the dark arts, Lily was willing to overlook some pretty egregious and troubling things in order to maintain the relationship. I kind of interpret that as her way of desperately clinging on to any sense of belonging she has left; her relationship with Petunia has already been poisoned, and now there are people who resent her existence as a witch; if she loses Severus too, what and who else does she have? And what tone does that set for her, if everyone and everything she’s come to hold close to her ends up turning her away?
It’s also important to note that not only is Severus one of her few remaining connections to the muggle world, but he’s also a wizard who grew up in the muggle world; he understands her, and I don’t doubt that he gave her some stability at times when she needed it (her finding out about her being a witch, her having trouble acclimating to the wizarding world, etc).
I see this as being one of her flaws and I can actually appreciate how relatable and realistic it feels. Lily is not a bad person; on the contrary, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone to describe her as such. Not to get all clinical and boring, but the interesting thing about (unhealthy) coping mechanisms is that it can actually be really hard to identify them in your own behavior. Unless you’re in therapy and/or are actively psychoanalyzing yourself, you likely don’t even realize how many of your common behaviors are born from self defense mechanisms put in place by your brain after past events.
To me, it makes sense why she avoided actually confronting the idea that Snape was too far gone. We know that she was aware of the path Severus was taking, but it almost seems like she was still convinced that she could save him, and could possibly steer him back in the right direction. It’s only when she becomes the target of his bigotry that she realizes that the Snape who called her a ‘mudblood’ was not the same Severus who was the one who held her hand and introduced her to this new, exciting world.
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In a general sense, yes, it is selfish, to only take a stand when something starts affecting you personally. But I also think it’s important to note that it’s unlikely that this was a conscious decision on Lily’s part. In my eyes, it was easier to delude herself into thinking she still had a chance to save him before it was too late when she was able to separate him from his actions (considering, a lot of the time, she was only hearing about them after the fact, rather than seeing them firsthand). But the elusion is shattered once she sees that the Snape she grew up with– her friend, Severus– is, in fact, the same person who’s out there calling other students slurs, dismissing the malicious use of Dark Magic on others as just “a laugh”. There we see a Lily who is actually revealed to have been somewhat aware of Snape’s involvement with the darker side of magic, and genuinely feels pretty ashamed about her inaction.
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Also, this is in no way me being a Snape-anti, and I actually could do an entire separate analysis on his character alone and why I find him so interesting.
Anyways, that moment in SWM is probably somewhat of an epiphany to her. It’s like a dam that’s been broken, and now she’s overwhelmed with the realization of exactly how much she overlooked in order to keep their friendship afloat. And for someone like Lily Evans, someone whom we know is opinionated and unafraid to call others out on their bullshit, that can be hard to swallow and feel pretty mortifying and shameful. And I think this was a huge turning point for her- at that point, she doesn’t have the luxury of avoiding uncomfortable truths anymore and now that she’s getting closer to graduating and being thrown out into the world on the brink of war, this was probably a really sobering discovery.
This is where we don’t have as much info to go off of, and a lot of it is up to interpretation. But we actually have little crumbs to go off of following her graduation and leading up to her death.
One of my favorite little tidbits isn’t in the books, and @seriousbrat's post reminded me about it. Here's the actual entry on Pottermore for anyone who's interested, but I'll summarize: after James and Lily began dating, Lily brings James to meet newly engaged Petunia and Vernon. Everything goes downhill, because Vernon is a smarmy asshole, and James is still pretty immature and can’t help but mess with him (which… fair, I guess). Petunia and Vernon storm out after Petunia letting Lily know that she had no intentions of having her as a bridesmaid, which causes Lily to break down into tears. I mention this because I also think it’s a pretty important aspect of her character; like we’ve seen in her past friendship with Snape, Lily seems more than willing to forgive others most of the time. Petunia is a bit of a complicated character herself, but she was objectively very cruel and unfair to Lily once it became obvious that she was a witch and Petunia was not.
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Something that always stands out to me is just how desperate Lily is to earn Petunia’s trust and approval again. Even up until her death, she was more than willing to mend the relationship, were Petunia ever to consider. 
This is a detail about Lily that I feel is misunderstood quite a bit. I’ve seen a lot of instances of her character being reduced to a one-dimensional archetype with little to no complexity. And often, that archetype is “know-it-all, prudish, self righteous bookworm who is also a goody two-shoes with a stick up her ass”. What annoys me is that the reason for this is most definitely the scene in which she blows up at James in SWM for bullying Snape, and hurls quite a few insults at him directly after an extremely devastating and overwhelming situation for her. This frustrates me because we know for a fact that she’s the polar opposite of this archetype I’ve seen her reduced to. 
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In actuality, she’s referred to as popular, charming, witty, bright and kind. From flashbacks we also are shown that she’s opinionated, bold, and not afraid to challenge others. With other context, like her interpersonal relationships, we can also see that she’s pretty emotionally driven and wears her heart on her sleeve. 
(I know Remus didn’t mention Lily much in the books, but I really love how he described her in the movies. He tells Harry that the first thing he noticed about him was not his striking resemblance to his father, but his eyes, the same eyes Lily had. He also calls her a “singularly gifted witch” and an “uncommonly kind woman”.
“She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even and perhaps most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves.”
I know there are mixed feelings on whether or not the films count as canon source material, so take it with a grain of salt, but I personally cannot see a world in which Lily and Remus didn’t become close friends.)
Here we have a direct description of what she was like and who she was, corroborated by recounting of memories of her, and yet for some reason, this feels like the thing that is most commonly lost in translation.
I don’t think I can say why I think that is without mentioning the dreaded M word (misogyny- it’s misogyny), but I also don’t want to get too off topic so I’ll be brief: female characters are typically not given the same grace as male characters. When we have an undeveloped male character, he’s awarded the assumption that despite his lack of depth, there still exists a complex and multifaceted character– it’s merely just potential that hasn’t been tapped into. Whereas when we have underdeveloped female characters, they are taken at face value, meaning that not much exists beyond the little information we have of them. They are not presumed to have a life or a story that exists beyond the surface of what we know like male characters are. That’s why I think characters like Regulus, Evan, or Barty (just to name a few) are more popular than Lily, despite being less developed than she is.
(Before anyone gets defensive, no, I don’t think it’s an individual problem that you alone need to be shamed for. I think it’s the result of a deeper issue regarding misogyny in media as a concept; these are things that we’ve all unknowingly internalized and while it’s not our fault, we still have to do the work to deconstruct those learned prejudices.)
What I find really cool about her character is that despite how much she’s been hurt, she’s also still known as one of the most loving, kind, and considerate characters. There were so many times in her life where the love she received was conditional and ripped away from her– and I think that’s what makes her sacrifice even more poignant. She was able to protect her infant son from an extremely powerful dark wizard, wand-less, knowing that her husband was just murdered in cold blood, just from how much love she felt for Harry. Her love was a force of nature on its own, and I just think that’s such an amazing thing about her. 
I know I’m biased, given that she’s one of my favorite characters, but even upon delving into this, I still just find it so incredibly hard to understand how anyone can actively hate her (not indifference, but actual dislike). In my opinion (again, no one is unbiased, and she is a favorite character of mine, but trust me when I say that I’m trying to be objective as possible when I say this), she’s probably one of the most likable characters of the Marauders Era. I think perhaps a lot of people haven’t given her a chance or really taken the time to learn about her character, but it could be a myriad of other reasons that I’ll never understand. 
There's so much more I could say but this is long enough and I will stop myself
Lily Evans, u will always be famous to me
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harringtonstilinski · 6 months
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Call It What You Want - Steve Harrington
Author: @harringtonstilinski​ Characters: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader Word Count: 3,080 Warnings: fluff, squint hard for angst, ignore the fact that eddie has risen from the dead, lol Requested: no | yes; i hope it meets your expectations, @stevesxyellowxsweater!! came from this prompt list Smut: no | yes; A/N: Hi, friends! So, this hellsite decided to delete/eat the original fic of this. If you like this, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox. As always, read at your own risk and enjoy 😊
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Steve Harrington. Your childhood best friend turned… acquaintance? Hell, you don’t even know anymore. You two used to be inseparable before he became King Steve, then your friendship went to shit… or at least you think it did.
When he started spending less and less time with you over the course of high school, your mind couldn’t help but go to the worst case scenarios. He didn’t want to be your friend anymore, he didn’t like you as a friend anymore, he was in the popular crowd while you weren’t so that made him not like you, Tommy H. and Carol, and many more.
Everything came to a head during both of your Senior year. You had asked him to hang out a couple of days after he and Nancy broke up, just wanting to cheer up your best friend. When he ditched you for a whole ass month, you decided to quit trying.
It was now summer of ‘86, just a couple of months after the earthquake. You were volunteering at the high school gym, or makeshift shelter, when you spotten him, folding clothes.
You tried to avert your eyes when he looked up and over, feeling eyes on his figure, but you couldn’t. Lost in those hazel eyes that you were once your favorite things to look at.
He pulled his lips together in a tight smile, nodding his head once at you before looking back down at the shirt in his hands, finishing the fold he started on it.
“Why don’t you just, I don’t know, talk to him?” Robin said, effectively scaring you.
After jumping ten feet from your skin, you placed a hand over your heart, bending at the waist ever so slightly, resting your free hand on the table in front of you. “Holy shit, don’t do that again.”
“Look, I know it’s been years since you guys have talked, but–”
“If you tell me it’ll benefit us both in the long run again, I’m gonna take these suspenders and snap them on your tits,” you interrupted, eyebrow raised.
Robin held her hands up, looking down slightly as she said, “Okay, fair enough. But seriously, though? Just saying hey and catching up wouldn’t hurt anyone. Especially Dustin.”
You looked over at your little brother, watching as he continued to hand people cups of water and blankets, his leg having long been healed from his fall back into the Upside Down. Sighing, you whispered, “I know,” before looking back at Robin. “I know he’s already lost Eddie. He can’t lose Steve, too.”
“Even though it feels that way,” your brother said, setting his tray down next to you.
Wrapping your arm around his shoulders, you sighed. “You haven’t.”
“He’s always going on dates.”
Brows furrowed, you replied, “He’s always gone on dates. His asshole of a father always told him that if he wasn’t settled down by a certain age then he was considered a failure in his eyes. Which he isn’t… nor will he ever be.”
Dustin and Robin looked at each other behind your head, both of them raising their eyebrows in unison at your words, realization hitting them both. You had a crush on Steve. 
And of course, your shithead of a little brother looked back at you with a devilish smile after watching Steve take a few steps towards you. “Well, here’s your chance to get that date you’ve always wanted.”
Looking at him confused, you asked, “What are you–” before being interrupted by both him and Robin saying, “Bye!,” walking away as Steve approached the table.
You looked from Dustin to Robin as the two of them walked away, mouth ajar before bringing your bottom lip between your teeth and looking in front of you. A small smile appeared on your face, seeing that playful smile that Steve always gave.
“Hey, loser,” he said.
Releasing your lip, you scrunched your eyebrows, greeting him with, “Buttface.”
A chuckle came from his mouth, his head bending forward as his chin became parallel with his collarbone. When he brought his head back up, you saw nothing but amusement in his eyes as he said, “Buttface? Really?”
Crossing your arms, you retorted, “Well, you are. You fucking ditched me.”
All amusement left his eyes at your words, fear and anxiety crashing into yours. “Oh, my god. Steve, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say it. I just slipped out–”
“It’s okay,” he said, stopping your words. Nodding, he added, “I mean, I did deserve it. I was an asshole and I’m majorly sorry for that.”
Smiling a little to yourself, you tilted your head and quietly asked, “Did just say majorly? What is this? 1982?”
He looked at you confused, but laughed nonetheless. “Yes. Yes, I did.”
Going back to messing around with the items in front of you at the table, you said, “You were always one for trends. Still are, apparently.”
“What do you mean?”
Gesturing to his clothes, you eyed his outfit before locking eyes with him again. “Need I say more?”
“What about the hair?”
“Still on trend with that. It’s your best attribute. I predict, though, in about… twenty or so years, you’re gonna cut it short.”
Leaning his hands on the table, he asked, “Will I still look good?” “Of course,” you chuckled. “You always have. Even when we were kids and your parents made you get those… oh, what are they called?” You thought for a moment before gasping. “Oh, my god! It was a bowl–”
“You finish that sentence and I’ll make sure everyone sees your haircut from the late 70’s.”
With wide eyes, you said, “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Don’t try me, princess.”
You narrowed your eyes at the nickname he used to call you when the two of you were kids. You loved it until you reached high school when Carol started calling you princess to get under your skin.
He started using it in a derogatory way after that just to please his friends, which pissed you off to no end. Steve would end up going home after school or hanging out with Tommy H and Carol, regretting the words he’d said to you.
That’s when you both made the conscious decisions, separately, to stop hanging out. When you two walked across the stage at graduation, you cheered and clapped for each other, spotting each other in the crowd and giving each other a small smile.
Realizing what he’d called you, his eyes went wide with shock. “Sweetheart, I am so sorry.”
Waving him off, you looked down. “It’s okay, Steve. I’m over it.”
“Clearly not with the way you just looked at me.”
“And how was that?” you asked, looking from the blanket you were moving into Steve’s eyes.
With a small smile, he replied, “Like you wanted to kill me.”
“Oh, my god. Just ask her out!” Dustin said, walking behind Steve.
Your eyes went wide, not believing that just happened, but… Steve apparently believed it because not five seconds after Dustin had disappeared, he asked, “Would you? Go on a date with me?”
Flabbergasted, you opened and closed your mouth like a fish out of water, your brain going a million miles an hour as you tried to come up with an answer as an arm came around your shoulders, ultimately halting your train of thought.
“Of course she’d love to, dingus,” Robin said. You could hear the smile behind her words… and see it as you turned your head to face her.
“Robin,” you quietly hissed.
“Oh, shush,” she whispered. “You know you want to.”
You knew, deep down in your heart you knew you wanted to go on that date with one Steve Harrington. You had always wished that he would ask you, but alas… he never did. Always asking out the popular girls, the girls on the cheerleading team or dance team. And it always broke your heart.
This time, though, was different. It was you he was asking, not some other girl that only wanted to get into his pants… or he into theirs.
Sighing, you closed your eyes for a moment before gathering your thoughts and nodding your head. “Yeah. Okay.”
“Yeah, okay, what?” Robin said, the smile evident on her face.
“Yes, Steve, I’ll go on a date with you.”
~~~
Two weeks had gone by before you were standing in front of your vanity mirror, looking over your outfit.
“Hey, female - holy shit.”
You turned and spotted Eddie standing at your doorway, a cassette tape in his hands that he nearly dropped. Chuckling, you said, “Hey, Eddie. What’cha got there?”
“Uhh,” he said, looking from you to the cassette. Looking up with a devilish smile on his face, he played with it, before tilting his head and scrunching his nose. “Maybe it’s that album you’ve been looking for.”
Scrunching your brows in thought, you wracked your brain trying to think of what album he could be talking about until it hit you with a gasp. “Def Leppard’s Pyromania?”
Pointing at you with the cassette, Eddie smiled and said, “The very one.”
Squealing happily, you ran and jumped into your best friend's arms, hugging him tightly around his neck before releasing him, hands cupping his cheeks. “Thank you, Ed.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He gave you another quick hug before adding, “Oh, by the way. You look beautiful. You’re gonna knock Harrington’s socks off.”
Chuckling, you said, “Thanks, Eddie.” At the sound of Steve’s laugh, your body tensed the slightest bit, your best friend noticing.
“Hey,” Eddie said, voice gentle. “It’s gonna be okay. Don’t worry. If he tries anything, just let me know and I’ll kick his ass.”
“In what? D&D?”
He was silent for a moment, his eyes going the tiniest bit wide before he nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah, you got me there.”
You laughed as you turned to put the cassette on your vanity, giving yourself one more look over before exiting your room, purse on your shoulder. When you spotted Steve standing at the door with Dustin, laughing, your heart leapt into your throat. Steve looked damn good, and you knew tonight wouldn’t end without the two of you making things official… after talking everything out.
When Dustin looked at you, his smile never faded. “Well, here she is. The lady of the hour.”
“Oh, shut up,” you said, giving him a side hug as Steve chuckled.
He opened the door for you, escorting you out, Dustin, your mom and Eddie wishing the two of you a good night.
“Ten bucks they end up together,” Dustin says.
“I’ll up you ten and say they’ll do more than just ‘get together’,” Eddie replied.
With a disgusted look on his face, Dustin looked up to his mentor, saying, “That’s my sister, you gross ass.”
~~~
The car ride to the movies was silent, but comfortable. The film choice for the night was The Karate Kid Part II. Your main reason for seeing it?; Ralph Macchio.
Max had told you if you didn’t see it that she’d hunt you down and murder you in your sleep. An empty threat from the redhead, but nevertheless, you told that you’d see it, a smile spreading across her face at your words.
Once the movie was over and you voiced that you were starving, Steve drove the two of you to Benny’s, home of the best burgers and fries in Hawkins. As soon as you two walked into the diner, the waitress smiled to herself, already getting her notepad and pen out, writing down yours and Steve’s orders.
She waited on the two of you during your Freshman and Sophomore years of high school before Steve became King Steve. Gloria, the waitress, had always wondered where you were when Steve would come in with Tommy H and Carol. Steve had explained that the two of you weren’t really hanging out anymore, which made her sad, so seeing the both of you at the diner together, made her smile.
The both of you took your normal booth in the middle along the wall of windows. You turned your head to the right, looking out at the cars passing by on the road. Sighing, you felt content before looking back at Steve, whose eyes had been on you the whole time.
Steve was immensely happy that you had decided to go on this date with him. He always felt bad at the treatment you got from him, and always wanted to make it up to you in the best way possible. This was the best thing he thought of. Doing what you’d always used to do; movie and then burgers at Benny’s.
“What?” you asked, reaching up to touch your cheek. “Do I have something on my face?”
Chuckling, Steve looked down at the table before looking around the diner, eyeing Gloria, giving her a nod, a small smile on his face as he did, your eyes watching his movements.
Turning your head to look towards Gloria, your face lit up with happiness, the seasoned waitress walking over with her tray resting on her hand, bringing the two of your food.
“Oh, my goodness,” she smiled. “Look at how grown you two have gotten. I was wondering when you two were gonna come walking back in here together.”
Your face flushed as Steve’s eyes widening the slightest bit at her words. She always rooted for the two of you. After Gloria had set your drinks in front of you, she smiled and said that she’d be right back with a special treat for you and Steve.
Shrugging, you picked up your burger after topping it with your condiments and veggies of choice that were on your plate, you took the first bite, eyes practically rolling into the back of your head. “Oh, my god. I forgot how good these burgers were.”
With furrowed brows, Steve picked up a fry and asked, “When was the last time you were here?” before popping it into his mouth.
“The last time we both were here,” you said, after swallowing your bite, going back in for another.
Steve hummed to himself, taking a bite of his cheeseburger, having topped it with his toppings of choice. 
About half way through your meal, Gloria set your favorite milkshakes in front of you, a big smile spreading on your face after she walked away. Using the spoon that was in the cup, you brought a spoonful of the thick milkshake to your mouth, quietly moaning with an eye roll at the flavors hitting your taste buds.
Pointing to the shake with the spoon, you said with a mouthful, “The best damn shakes in Hawkins.”
“The best damn shakes in all of Indiana!” Steve exclaimed, holding his own spoon out with some of his shake on it.
Scooping another spoonful, you ‘clinked’ your spoons together, laughing at the silliness of it all. You had missed it, though, and so had Steve. Once your laughter had died down and you were finished with your meals, Steve had tried to pay, Gloria insisting that it was on the house, courtesy of Benny himself.
The drive back to your house was quiet again, but comfortable. Steve had his hands on the steering wheel and gear shift, respectfully, while yours was in your lap. All the words you wanted to say were a mess in your head, every thought that was tumbling around in your head caused you to lose track of time… and where you were.
A hand on your shoulder brought you back, your head turning towards Steve. “I’m sorry, what?”
He chuckled, his hand never leaving your shoulder. “I said, we’re here and asked if you were okay.”
“Oh,” you said, sheepishly. “Yeah. Got lost in thought, I guess.”
“What were you thinking about?” 
Shaking your head, you looked down and whispered, “It’s nothing.”
Putting his hand on yours and gaining your attention, Steve said, “Hey. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
All you could do for the next ten seconds was look into those hazel eyes you used to get lost in before you leaned forward, resting your forehead against his, closing your eyes and sighing. Steve sighed and closed his eyes, as well, bringing his hand from yours to cup your cheek.
“I’ve missed you, Stevie,” you whispered. You felt him stiffen just slightly, your opening and head lifting from his for just a moment before he brought your forehead back to his. “I’m sorry. I know you hate being called that.”
This time, it was Steve who lifted his head to look at you, his hand never moving from your cheek. “You’re the only one that gets to call me that, ya’know? Always have been, always will.”
A small smile spread on your lips, Steve’s hand moving slightly back towards your neck, his thumb rubbing at the top of your jawline near your ear. “Don’t hate me for this,” he whispered.
“What are you–” you started, but your words were cut off by Steve’s lips on yours. You were a little shocked, to say the least, but you kissed him back regardless. It wasn’t a hungry kiss. It was more of one that was testing the waters
With lips slowly moving in sync, you couldn’t help but feel happy that his lips were actually on yours. You hated to admit it to yourself, but you’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have Steve’s lips on yours, and now that they are… you couldn’t get enough.
You wanted to keep kissing him until your lips were red, swollen, numb, the whole nine yards. All you wanted was Steve, and now… you think you have him.
When you both pulled away, breathless, you rested your foreheads against each other’s, simultaneously. As you caught your breath, you smiled, a soft chuckle making its way from your lips.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, a smile on his face as well.
Rolling your head to the right a little, you bit your bottom lip before lifting your head and looking at those hazel eyes you’ve always loved. “I just can’t believe that happened.”
Moving his hand back to your cheek, Steve smiled that smile you hadn’t seen in years. “Well, you better believe it… because I plan on doing that more.”
“I’m counting on it, Stevie.”
Steve chuckled while shaking his head, bringing your lips back to his with a smile on both of your faces.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N 2:  hi, friends! let me know what you thought about! again, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox.
Additional Notes: 
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~~~
Forever / Everything Taglist: @stiles-o-dylan24 @stixnstripesworld @fandom-princess-forevermore @quanticobae @mischiefandi @kellyashcroft @lauren-novak
Steve Harrington Taglist: @madaboutjoe​
If you’re tagged and didn’t want to be, please let me know.
Italics wouldn’t let me tag!
~~~
*Please don’t post my writing anywhere else without my consent. The author of this work will always and forever be @harringtonstilinski​.
All characters, story lines, and plot aside from y/n and her storyline & plot, are all of the work of The Duffer Brothers.
*These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited.
No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.
Posted on March 22, 2024
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bengiyo · 2 months
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Knock Knock, Boys! is an Ideal First BL for New Viewers
I often talk on @the-conversation-pod about how I react to BL from the lens of a queer media critic actively trying to recruit queer media viewers to BL. I want those viewers to join us in BL, and so I value shows that have strong character writing and satisfying resolutions for their drama. New viewers don’t always understand or recognize romance or BL tropes right away, and sometimes things go over their heads. In that vein, Knock Knock, Boys! may be one of the most useful shows I’ve encountered in the last year for this exact purpose. 
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Rating: 9, Highly Recommended
Runtime: 12 50+ minute episodes
Country: Thailand
Network: WeTV
Availability: WeTV, GagaOOlala
Knock Knock, Boys! places four young men at a transitional point in their lives. Split evenly between first-year college students and working adults, each character is running from something. Peak is running from a marriage to a woman, Thanwa is running from a bad relationship with his ex-boyfriend, Latte is running towards graduation, and Almond is running away from his sheltered existence. Over the course of the show, these two pair off based on their shared age brackets in one of the most sex-positive shows I’ve seen this year, with a common theme about how honesty and commitment to each other gives people the space they need to grow. More than anything, this show values patience and kindness in relationships in a way that I cannot overstate.
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As the ice starts to break, they learn that Thanwa and Latte have had active sex lives (Thanwa exclusively with men, and Latte with all sorts of people) and establish a rhythm within their home. Thanwa makes most of their meals, and Almond has to wake Latte up every day because he ignores alarms. The original conceit that connects our quartet beyond their shared housing incident comes from Almond promising to pay the rent for a year for anyone who helps him lose his virginity to his high school crush, Jumper. Hijinks ensue as the boys try to befriend Jumper, and angle for him and Almond to grow closer. As with any story like this, Latte ends up developing feelings for Almond, while Peak and Thanwa grow closer. 
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More spoilers ahead, I want to talk about each character, and what I liked so much about each. These boys became one of my favorite friend groups we’ve had in a while. I am a huge fan of age gaps in queer friendships, and this show has much of it.
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Thanwa: Played by the talented Seng Wichai, Thanwa is a great answer to the question of “Where do the quiet gays go?” He clearly knows his way around cruising spots, or knows how to use the apps, and yet everything we know about his shows that he’s geared towards domestic life and his hobbies. He dresses like a normie all the time, he loves cooking, and he loves eating. He’s clearly a thoughtful and reliable friend, and it’s that commitment and reliability that eventually gets him a job he actually wants to do. More than anything, he gave far more grace to a closeted man he cared about than I ever expected AND HE WON. Seng remains one of my favorite BL performers because of his ability to play ugly and goofy. He’s so beautiful because he is capable of playing weirdos well. 
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Peak: Played by BL veteran Best Vittawin, Peak is running from compulsory heteronormativity. He’s expected to marry the daughter of a family close to theirs, and he is letting this all happen to keep his stern father happy. Peak has been running away from himself ever since his mom died. He saw how much that hurt his dad, and he’s struggled to be a problem-free son for a long time as a result. The weight of expectation on him presses down on Peak so hard that he can’t even focus half the time, and literally zones out as he tries to cope. Best gives a wonderful performance as Peak, especially in the final episodes, as he finally unburdens himself and blossoms as a result. This is my favorite Best character of all time, and Peak is one of my favorite portrayals of what it means to love someone enough for them to leave the closet on their own terms. 
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Almond: Played by Nokia Chinnawat, who appeared in Thank God It’s Friday (2019), Almond is such a fun view into what modern gay boys could be like. He’s young and horny, and he wants to get laid! He’s not embarrassed about this, but he is shy. I loved the way the show used his enthusiasm as a way to further its PSA agenda in such a fun way. Almond is also one of the few rich kids we’ve had in these dramas that isn’t inherently insufferable. I like how his wealth mostly comes up as a problem solving tool, and he doesn’t feel too much like a snob after the first few interactions. I also loved his arc of getting over his unrequited crush on Jumper into recognizing his feelings for Latte. Nokia himself shows a real knack for physical comedy and expressiveness that makes me genuinely want to follow his career beyond this show. 
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Latte: Played by Jaonine Jiraphat, Latte fills the role of our sexually experienced queer in the group. Confidently pansexual, Latte was so much fun for me because he and Thanwa had no shame about the sex and relationships they’ve had before. I loved how consistently Latte was shown to be emotionally present and sincere in all of his relationships. It could have been so easy to present him as promiscuous or slutty, and instead they present him as beloved. Every one of his former lovers we encountered seemed happy to see him again, and also resolved about the time they’d spent together. More than anything, I deeply appreciated how patient he was with Almond without suddenly becoming a sexless being because his boyfriend was shy or nervous. Jaonine was incredibly charming in this role, and I hope casting directors take notice. 
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The Supporting Cast: The supporting characters were perfectly calibrated for their roles in this show. Jumper (Pak Varayu) made total sense as Almond’s crush, and has a great arc of Almond falling out of love with him, and becoming briefly enemies with Almond before reconciling. Lookpeach (Guitar Tunthita) plays the role of the modern faghag in a way that feels like Thai BL doing corrective work on the role of fandom in BL, and I have deep love for this character. Jane (Naya Gorrawiya) is the friend that everyone deserves; I loved the reveal about how personal her understanding and support for Peak has been this whole time. This show even calibrated it’s villain well in Max (Tuss Thotsawat), who showed that there are far worse things than cheating in broken relationships. 
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Final Thoughts: I am so excited to show this show to my friend Emily, who’s been watching BL with me since early covid lockdowns. While this show has a few small stumbles that keep it from getting a 10, I don’t want to downplay how refreshing it was to watch a show that had a clear vision of what it wanted to be, and executed it the whole time. I commented during episode 1 that it felt more like a romcom than a BL, and the show said that through Lookpeach in its final episode! It built believable queer friendships in front of us, and understood the emotional core of most of its angst and drama all the way through. This show avoided veering too far into melodrama, and remembered that it was a romantic comedy the entire time. It also managed to be consistently sex-positive without feeling exploitative of its talent, or by letting the audience down on the sex front (I will be thinking about Almond and Latte’s first time and the morning after for a long time). This show also has parents apologizing for the knots they tied their children into. I don’t know a better Thai show airing during this season. This show is a real delight, and one I urge you all to show your friends who might be looking for a gay romcom. 
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@steddie-week day 3: discover + first kiss
"There you are!" Eddie says, like he's been looking for him everywhere, his face even lighting up as he enters the kitchen.
"Here I am." Steve shoots back.
Steve's sure that he's wearing a similar expression. He missed him.
After Eddie and Robin graduated, Eddie took a job at a local auto shop while Robin and Steve took jobs at the library and filled out college applications.
During that time the three of them had gotten really close, talking each other through tough times and celebrating what they achieved together.
Steve moved with Robin to start school at the beginning of this year and Eddie stayed with his uncle, still figuring out what he wanted to do with his future.
So, this is the first time they've been apart for months since they met, and Steve did not anticipate how much he would need to see him, to hear him.
The phone doesn't do his voice justice.
Steve puts the dough down to wipe the flour off his hands, but his eyes never leave Eddie as he drops his tote bag on a stool across from Steve.
"Can't believe they left you here with all the work, man" Eddie laments, shaking his head and walking around the kitchen island to where Steve is.
Steve's heart beats oddly fast in his chest as he huffs a small laugh and tries to figure out if a hug is okay in the split second before Eddie pulls him into his arms.
Steve wraps his arms around him and rests his chin on Eddie's shoulder, relieved.
"I don't mind" Steve murmurs, about making the pizza while the kids catch up with Robin and Nancy in the living room.
Eddie chuckles, softly claps his back and pulls away to grab Steve's shoulders instead
"Of course you don't" he says, with mirth in his eyes "How are you, Stevie?" he asks, his head tilting to the side and his dimples showing.
"Hi" Steve says to those dimples he hadn't seen in so long "I mean- good. I'm good" Steve smiles, genuinely delighted. "How are you? How was the drive?" Steve asks
"Ugh, it was hell!" Eddie slumps a little when he says it, his exhaustion evident "but I'm good!" he assures, "you know what I need?"
Steve shakes his head no "What?"
"To help you make like seven pizzas right now," Eddie answers, squeezing Steve's shoulders before letting go. "Where do you need me?"
That's a question.
It's not like Steve hadn't notice his crush on Eddie before he moved away, but he was kind of ignoring it, or at least trying to for the sake of their friendship.
Clicking with someone the way he did with Eddie was rare for him, he didn't wanna risk losing that, especially after so many failed dates; Steve was just kinda over the whole thing.
And Eddie never showed anything more than friendly affection so, really, it was the right thing to do to just, pretend like Eddie's eyes weren't the only thing he could think of when the sun first filtered through his windows.
And he'd thought it would go away in time, and then with so many miles between them.
But here he is again, asking how he can help Steve cook pizza for their friends and Steve kinda wants to cry a bit, because no, of course it wouldn't go away.
If anything it seems distance has made it worse, Steve feels intoxicated by the smell of cigarettes and pine trees.
"Um, there's two in the oven" Steve points out, "and everything's already chopped up, I guess you can help me put the toppings on these next two?" Steve suggests, going back to knead two more bases out of the dough he left on the island countertop.
"Yessir!" Eddie salutes, walking back to rummage in his tote. "I brought brownies for dessert," Eddie offers, bringing out the container "totally safe." he assures.
"I have ice cream too, which I assume im putting there?" Eddie asks, pointing to the refrigerator behind Steve, Steve nods.
Eddie brings out the tub of ice cream and spots something else in his bag "oh and I had olives!" he places an olives jar on the table before walking towards the fridge.
"I thought you didn't like olives" Steve comments
Eddie sticks his head in their freezer and answers "oh, I don't mind them"
Steve fully turns to him with a confused frown "no, i remember you specifically requesting no olives in our pizza for the past, like, year"
Eddie's making space in their freezer, moving things around. He casually says "that's because you don't like them, Stevie" and continues his task like what he just said has no significance at all.
Steve blinks, feels stuck to where he's standing.
Steve had mentioned he doesn't like olives maybe a week after the whole upside down business, when the kids had been at Dustin's and Claudia had offered him salad during dinner, which he politely refused, because it had olives.
Eddie was there, they had all been working on characters for their next campaign and stayed for dinner. Steve had only dropped by to deliver a book Dustin left in his car, and Claudia invited him to stay.
Come to think of it, Eddie had enjoyed that salad just fine.
Steve never mentioned olives again.
And it wouldn't be until a month later that Eddie would first order pizza for them making that specific request.
For Steve.
And it's so silly, it's such a small thing, but all of a sudden a myriad of small things are thrust in Steve's face.
Eddie watching Grease with him, Eddie always knowing how he takes his coffee, Eddie singing along to ABBA in Steve's car, Eddie complimenting the jacket everyone said made him look dorky, Eddie keeping a Tears For Fears tape in his car, Eddie using one of his sick days to help him pack the stuff in his room, Eddie memorizing his schedule and calling him multiple times a week for the past few months exactly when he knew Steve would be home and bored without Robin.
It's like someone lifts a veil off his eyes.
Steve's watched Friday the 13th five times and would watch it again if it was with Eddie, he knows Eddie takes his coffee with a frankly concerning amount of sugar, there's a Black Sabbath record in his room right now!
He's never put in this type of effort with friends before! They either have similar tastes already or Steve doesn't feel the need to match them anyways.
It's different with Eddie, it's like he wants to be connected to him somehow, make sure they're close.
He didn't know Robin liked tea until they moved in together! He knows Eddie categorically refuses to try tea in any form. And actually, his uncle got him thinking about it and he's considering to change that, Eddie told him about it last Thursday while Robin was at band practice.
He's never tried somebody else's music without them asking for it, he's never volunteered to watch a horror movie, he's never worn clothes he thought wouldn't fit his style, he's only ever done that with
"Eddie" he says out loud, it comes out a little breathless but Eddie doesn't seem to notice.
"Hmm?" he acknowledges, finally placing the ice cream in the freezer and Steve catches a glimpse of it as Eddie shuts the freezer door.
He turns to Steve and raises his eyebrows.
"Was that cookies and cream?" Steve asks
"Mhm. Yep" Eddie confirms
"Why'd you buy that one?" Steve wants to know.
Eddie shrugs " 'Cause it's your favorite" he answers, easy.
So easy. Like he didn't even consider any other flavor.
"Why did you buy my favorite ice cream, Eddie?" Steve insists,
Eddie splutters "I- I um, I mean do you not-?" he trails off and looks at Steve's posture, the way he hasn't moved a hair in the last couple of moments must click then. His eyes trail up to meet Steve's again and realization dawns on his face.
"Holy shit, Steve. You didn't know?"
"What?! What do you mean I didn't know? Who knew?!"
"I-! um, everyone? I'm not exactly subt-"
"oh my god!"
Steve can feel the blood warming his face and ears and it seems to spring Eddie back into action.
"I mean! Clearly not everyone knew! You didn't know!" he says walking over to him and running his hands up and down Steve's arms "pfft, practically no one knew!"
"Eddie" Steve wants to laugh but he's afraid he might burst into tears.
"I thought you knew" Eddie says in the smallest voice he's used so far, his hands stilling.
"I'm sorry" Steve says,
"No!" Eddie protests, his hands coming up to grab Steve's face "No, sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry about"
Steve scoffs,
"Of course you didn't know!" Eddie continues "I never told you!" his hands caress Steve's cheeks and Steve thinks his knees might give out.
"So, I'm telling you now" Eddie says, determined. He takes a deep breath.
He looks into Steve's eyes and says "Steve, I am crazy about you. Not a day has gone by since the eighth fucking grade where I haven't thought about you. And since last year, it has been nothing but good things. I promise"
Steve snorts a laugh at that, his hands coming up to hold on to Eddie's wrists as they both shake with soft laughter.
"You have the most beautiful smile i have ever seen in my life" Eddie goes on. "You are the bravest, kindest, most badass person I know, your hair is a fucking miracle and your eyes. god, your eyes. i have tried to find something that even remotely gets close to the color of your eyes and I can't, and I've resigned myself to never finding it because even an exact match would not make me feel the way your eyes do. Because they're very pretty, but it's not about the color. It's just the fact that you're looking at me"
"God, Eddie" Steve sniffles, not sure what to even do with all the happiness inside of him.
Eddie scoffs a soft laugh "Seeing you happy makes me very happy." he explains "So i try to do little things that'll help that happen. That's why I bought your favorite ice cream, Stevie"
Steve smiles at him and rubs circles against his wrists.
Eddie, seemingly unable to stop talking says "it's selfish really, if you think abo-"
"I'm gonna kiss you now" Steve tells him
"Oh, oka-mmph"
Eddie's lips are soft and gentle and Steve has to coax him into being less tentative but once he does, Eddie kisses him insistently, never letting Steve get too far away, like he can't get enough of Steve. It makes Steve's heart flutter in his chest.
When they finally come up for breath Steve tells him "I can't believe you like olives" trailing his hands down his sides.
Eddie laughs, Steve loves that sound.
"I can stop" Eddie reminds him, placing a peck against Steve's smile.
"And I don't like them" he continues "i just don't mind 'em"
Steve hums a disapproving tone but still leans in for another small kiss.
"I only brought them in case anyone wanted them! they were left over I swear" Eddie excuses against his lips. Steve giggles, his hands now on Eddie's waist, toying with his chains.
"You look good today" Steve tells him
"Oh?"
"Smell good too." Steve says, nosing his cheek. Eddie shivers.
"Always do" Steve clarifies, his mouth coming back to kiss Eddie softly as his hands trail up to play with strands of his hair.
"Your hair's so soft" Steve continues "and pretty. You're pretty"
It makes Eddie blush and Steve grins, delighted by what he achieved.
"And you're brave too Eds, and badass, and cool and fun" Steve smiles when Eddie scoffs but once he sobers up he continues "And I think your eyes are prettier than rays of sunshine." Steve tells him "And I think I'd do anything for you" he adds.
Before he can register the way Eddie's looking at him, Steve's being kissed again with an assuredness that makes him sigh.
The only thing that parts them is the oven timer dinging and even then, Steve has to threaten Eddie with no pizza if he doesn't let Steve go.
Steve doesn't think he's ever been happier.
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shijiujun · 1 year
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WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH 莲花楼 MYSTERIOUS LOTUS CASEBOOK
Guess I’m back for another rec, you know I’m there when I get minimum two bromance dudes and historical and OOMPH if you liked The Blood of Youth this might be up your lane!! Slightly similar main character premise but super good, the trope never gets old!!
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TL;DR
- Stupid disciple + his (unknowing) shifu - Enemy bros “where is my shixiong’s remains?!” + “defeat me and find out” vibes who have to work together and form their deep friendship and get past misunderstanding and mystery blah blah love it - All-powerful legendary swordsman losing all his powers and becoming a legendary physician - Everything is about dead shixiong we don’t even know how the man looks like - Investigations and jianghu shenanigans, cases!!!  - Uwu puppy dog and good in martial arts disciple and his sickly, ex-legendary and still cool shifu who doesn’t know he’s a shifu LMAO - Yes uwu bromance, especially cuz shifu is DYING and he is WEAK and he gonna spit out blood and faint everywhere as they find cure for him 
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AIRING DEETS
Total episodes: 40
Premiered on: July 23
VIP ends: August 18
Can be watched from iQiyi
Airing schedule: 6 episodes on the first day, 2 episodes everyday after for 6 days, then 8 episodes a week except for the last week, that has 6 episodes with finale
SUMMARY
Ten years ago, Li Xiangyi who was master of Sigu Sect, challenged Di Feisheng, master of the Jinyuan Alliance, to a fight on the seas, where they both end up critically hurt as Li Xiangyi tries to find out where his shixiong’s (Shan Gu Dao) corpse and bones went - his sect was attacked on the same day, and when he returns to the sect, critically injured, he sees some of his deputies blaming him for the attack, and instead of going in, he disappears after that.
Ten years later, Li Xiangyi is now Li Lianhua (Lotus Li LMAO) and he’s an eccentric but skilled doctor who has his eyes on earning money. By chance, he meets Fang Duobing (Fang Many Illness LMAO), a young, aspiring detective who’s super skilled in martial arts, but he’s been unable to enrol in Bai Chuan Yuan (the past Sigu Sect), a sort-of sect that plays an enforcer role in the pugilistic world and helps to solve cases, arrest wrongdoers, and the like. Fang Duobing’s dream is to get in, but as he’s the only son of two powerful people who’ve been refusing to let him be part of Bai Chuan Yuan, he’s failed the test 3 times despite being the most-skilled one there. On his third try, however, he tells the four masters of Bai Chuan Yuan that his shifu is Li Xiangyi, a Li Xiangyi who used to be a part of Bai Chuan Yuan and is still greatly missed by the four masters. They agree to it, but only if FDB solve three cases with arrests.
His first case leads him to meet LXY who’s now known as Li Lianhua, and their meeting doesn’t go off to a great start; FDB is idealistic and a rich, wealthy young master at heart who’s never suffered much hardship, and LLH drugs him after and scolds him for being too trusting of people and being too obvious, going around with two servants. LLH leaves him with parting words, only to meet him again later at the scene of the crime.
They solve cases together from there; LLH is still looking for his shixiong’s body ten years later, and decides to solve cases with FDB as a guise to get closer to the truth, making use of FDB slightly. Later, Di Feisheng recognises him, and the three of them are forced to become allies/friends to uncover a greater conspiracy. The clock is ticking for them as well, as Li Xiangyi was poisoned and injured ten years ago, and was given only ten more years to live. The story begins in the year that he’s meant to die.
*Fang Duobing met Li Xiangyi when he was young and still sickly, and Li Xiangyi encouraged him, and Fang Duobing held onto his every word and suffered a lot to become healthy again and as skilled as he is today, all because Li Xiangyi said those words to him that year ;-;
WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH
(1) Fight scenes are GREAT 
- Water water water
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- All female sect?!
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(2) Bromance, subtle for now, but greater later I assume - ZENG SHUNXI’S FACE HE SO PUPPY BLURBLUR AND SMILING?! AND CHENG YI SMIRKING?! Like Fang Duobing is just wagging his tail and running after a person he doesn’t know is truly his shifu as he claims LOL
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(3) Shifu Li Xiangyi not knowing he was shifu to Fang Duobing
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(4) Li Xiangyi being the reason for Fang Duobing to EXIST but Li Xiangyi ain’t around anymore (not) and he sad and Li Xiangyi can’t tell him who he is UWUUUU
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(5) Familiar faces hehe if you are a SNGX/The Blood of Youth and SHL fan 
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(6) CASES ARE INTERESTING!!!
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callingmrsbarnes · 1 year
Text
Roused | Eddie Munson x friend!reader
Summary: Eddie and the reader’s sleepover takes an interesting turn when she has a clothing malfunction. 
Content warnings: Swearing, Eddie is an (accidental) peeping tom, descriptions of masturbation, implied smut, NSFW
Word count: 1375
Author’s Note: Surprise, I’m back! This is my first time writing fanfiction for Stranger Things, so any constructive feedback and comments would be appreciated! Minors DNI.
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Eddie woke just after seven that morning, right after the light began pouring through his window. He grimaced as his consciousness grew enough to where sensation flowed back into his joints, which were stiff from sleeping on the floor. When he offered to let you stay over the previous night, you tried to insist that you take the floor since you were his guest and didn’t want to kick him out of his own bed. But in true Eddie fashion, he made a huge show of acting scandalized at the idea of “denying such a fair maiden a proper rest from a long day of putting up with a damn fool like himself.” Through your laughter at watching him bow to you and gesture towards his bed, you insisted you didn’t “put up” with him and enjoyed his company just the same, but knew arguing about sleeping on the floor was a losing battle, so you acquiesced and took the bed.
Eddie closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh, fully exhausted from staying up with you well into the night, listening to music, watching TV, and easily talking for hours about everything and nothing. He wouldn���t trade those moments with you for anything, but waking up the morning after you two hung out was always hell. His body rarely granted him a full night’s rest, and even if he didn’t go to bed until the early hours of the morning, he always woke up as soon as the sun broke over the horizon, like clockwork. He could occasionally will his brain to relax enough to squeeze in another hour of sleep, but that was a dangerous gamble to take, because sometimes it worked a little too well and he ended up sleeping far into the afternoon.
He turned over towards his bed see how you were faring and- 
Oh, shit.
Sometime during the night, you had kicked off his comforter and bed sheets, and had shifted around enough for your sweatpants to be hanging precariously low on your hips. But far more distracting than that, was the fact the button-down pajama top you were wearing had popped open during the night, leaving your tits and most of your torso on open display.
His morning wood twitched in voyeuristic delight, to Eddie’s own disgust. Clothing malfunction or not, he wasn’t going to act like a peeping Tom and get himself off in front of you, especially if you were asleep and had never intended for him to see you topless. Sure, you might have made an appearance in a fantasy or two (or ten) of his when he was jacking off, especially if you had worn a particularly short skirt or low-cut top that day. He might be your friend, but he was still a guy. There was no denying you were beautiful, and that once in a while, curiosity nearly got the better of him when it came to the boundaries of your friendship. 
Transfixed at the sight of your breasts, Eddie’s eyes traced over the curves of them to where they peaked into your perky nipples, feeling his breath slow as he winced in longing. He had seen his fair share of boobs in Playboy and Hustler, and once had gotten frisky with an overeager patron behind The Hideout at one of Corroded Coffin’s shows. But somehow, this felt different. Your arms were haphazardly thrown above your head, with errant strands of your hair spread out like a halo against your cheek, your neck, your forearms, and over his pillow. Eddie would be lying if he said he didn’t savor the smell you would leave on his bed after each sleepover you two had, the scent of which somehow both relaxed him and made him thrum with restless hankering for you, wishing that he didn’t have to keep a respectable distance between the two of you, that he could spoon you and rest his nose against your hair during your sleepovers. From where you were angled, the sunlight was cascading onto your torso, framing it in a tinge of marigold. And just out of view of the light, your eyes remained closed in the throes of sleep, your lips gently parted in an ease he rarely saw during your waking hours. 
In short, you looked less strictly pornographic and more like a gorgeous renaissance painting.
He wished you were more than just friends, that he could slip his hands around your waist, stroke up your torso and run them over your tits, feel your nipples pebble against his calloused palms as he gently massaged them in circles, watching the gorgeous shapes he could mold them to while listening to your contented hums and moans as you woke up.
Using every ounce of self-restraint he had, Eddie turned away from you, lightly palming his erection to ease some of its stiffness and grunting in discomfort that there was little he could do at the moment to fix his predicament. 
Hearing a quiet croon from you, he glanced back over his shoulder, watching your lips slightly stretch in a contented smile, completing your relaxed demeanor before your brow furrowed and you shifted slightly, stretching out your arms. As he realized in terror that you were waking up, Eddie turned over again, curling up in the fetal position in an attempt to hide his boner and feigned sleep, lest he let on what a horrible friend he was for gawking at you without your knowledge. 
Your wake up continued with the symphony of your joints popping, followed by more quiet sighs as you breathed life back into your body. He heard your breath sharply catch - you must have realized your shirt was open - and the creak of his bed. You were probably buttoning your top back up.
He kept his eyes shut and tried to steady his breathing as he heard your feet pad across the room, hoping that you’d spend at least a few minutes in the bathroom so he could relax for a second and not have his lizard brain be swinging back and forth between being consumed by how gorgeous you were, and pivoting straight back to how disgusting he was for leering at his half-naked friend that way - while she slept, no less.
But to his surprise, he sensed you standing over him, and the shift of you leaning down over him. Shit. You couldn’t know he was awake, could you? 
Feeling like he was under interrogation, Eddie continued his steady pace of deep breaths, only pausing for a second when he felt your fingers brush his hair. When he did, he felt you freeze, but resumed his breaths without missing another beat.
He savored the sensation of your fingers running themselves over his hair - he was sure it looked like a hybrid of a tumbleweed and an over-wrung mop first thing in the morning - and lightly stroking the ends before making their way back to his jawline, where you lightly stroked the back of your fingers against his cheek.
“I wish you knew,” you wistfully whispered, stilling for just a few seconds before sighing and standing back up. It was only when Eddie heard the quiet knock of you softly closing his door behind you and making your way to the bathroom that he slowly exhaled.
What was that? You wish he knew what? You had told him on numerous occasions how thankful you were to have him as a friend, how you were glad you could tell each other anything. What was on your mind that you couldn’t tell him?
Unless…
When you came back from the bathroom, you were puzzled by the look on Eddie’s face, appearing like he had just reached a long sought-after epiphany. And when you asked him about it, he didn't answer. He just timidly brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, and when he saw that you didn’t pull away, your lips found each others. 
And shortly after, Eddie found out that his fantasies of what you looked like completely naked didn’t even come close to a substitute for the real thing. And when he discovered his touches could indeed elicit the prettiest noises from you, he was done for.
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queensunshinee · 3 months
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Time Of Our Lives || Part 22
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warnings: SMUT! 18+!, dirty talk, p in v sex, praise, violence.
part 22:
"Why isn't she coming? Remind me," Tashi asked as she and Art walked to the court so he could warm up. "Because it's a small tournament and she's working. You know she's not my trophy wife and that she has her own life, right?" Art replied. He didn't like talking to Tashi about Liana, especially since he and Liana still weren't really talking about themselves. They hadn't had "the talk" yet, and Art wasn't ready to admit it bothered him because he was afraid it would end what they had.
"Fine, but she knows you need her in the crowd, she could have come," Tashi continued. "Tash, can we warm up and leave Liana alone?" He might have asked, but there was no room to continue talking about her. Because in the war between tennis and Liana, Tashi didn't stand a chance. They both knew that.
When Art came off the court after a fairly quick victory, he saw Patrick Zweig looking directly at him, leaning against the wall and giving a hesitant wave. And just like five years ago, Art wished someone had given him a heads-up, but just like five years ago, it didn't happen.
"That was a good game. Poor Callum didn't stand a chance," Patrick said as Art approached him. "Do you need something?" Art asked impatiently. "I'll let you shower, Donaldson, and then we'll talk?" Patrick half-asked, half-stated. He knew Art wouldn't refuse a challenge. "Do we have something to talk about?" Art tried to feign indifference but couldn't help the furrow in his brow. He really didn't want to talk to Patrick. "For old times' sake," Patrick smiled and blinked a few times, showing no signs of discomfort.
"Your game was good," Patrick started after Art showered and they sat at a secluded table in a diner adjacent to one of the courts. "My game was boring. What do you want, Patrick?" Art asked impatiently. He didn't like being in situations he hadn't initiated. He didn't like losing control so blatantly, and he didn't like knowing Patrick could push his buttons.
"To congratulate you on London. You're living the dream, man," Patrick said, undeterred by the coldness dripping from Art. Ice. Ice to his fire. Yin to his yang. He recognized this in Art. He knew Art's defenses would be strong and rigid, but Patrick came prepared. "It doesn't make sense," Art replied pragmatically. Patrick had no reason to congratulate him on anything. Congratulations are reserved for those who wish you well; Art was pretty sure that if Patrick could, he would drown him without a second thought.
"Why are you so angry, Art? You have everything. You're throwing away years of friendship for anger that has no meaning now," Patrick sipped his soda and took a bite of the vegetables he had ordered. "My anger at you has no meaning?" Art asked, not believing what he was hearing. "Look at you. Next month you're going to be in the Olympics. The money. The fame. All the pussy you can have. Living the dream," Patrick said, not taking his eyes off Art, who snickered in response.
"Here it is," Art said, and Patrick raised an eyebrow, taking another sip of his drink. "Here what? You're not the hottest star in world tennis right now? Number 4 in the world, Arthur. It comes with everything," Patrick retorted. The smug look. Art wanted to kick him. He didn't know something could irritate him so much. That someone who was once such a great source of joy in his life, had turned into a figure he despised.
"We're happy, you know?" Art composed himself, refusing to give Patrick the pleasure of unsettling him. "Who is 'we,' Art? You and Tashi?" Patrick replied. "Me and Liana. We're pretty happy. It turns out there was a bug all these years insisting on ruining our relationship, but since it stopped buzzing in our ears, we're truly living the dream. You remember Liana, right?" Art looked him straight in the eye, emitting a coldness that could freeze anyone. Anyone but Patrick.
"Yes, Liana," Patrick smiled, and Art wondered if it was a genuine smile. "Do you need some tips?" he asked, and Art felt his grip around the edge of the sofa tighten. "What tips, Patrick? How to make the sweetest girl in the world miserable? Maybe tips on how to fuck up your life so catastrophically that there's no pity left for you? I mean, can you imagine Liana not caring at all about you? Every time you come up in conversation, she looks like she wants to throw up a little," Art said. His tone betrayed the level of anger he was experiencing. He didn't understand why he had agreed to talk to him at all.
"Did she tell you she likes it when you pull her hair really hard while fucking her?" Patrick said. "Oh my God, I swear you're a 12-year-old," Art almost cut him off. His jaw was clenched with rage. "Come on, we used to talk about girls all the time, Art. Have you tried spanking her? She's really into that, and you'd like it too with all that pent-up anger. Basically, she'd love for you to use her-" Patrick continued, ignoring Art's comment. "I'm done." Art stood up.
"Did she tell you we were pregnant and decided it wasn't the right time?" Art stopped mid-step and turned to him. He felt his words like a punch straight to his gut. "More my decision because Liana's not good at deciding, you know her. She really wanted to be a mom and all that crazy stuff. But it just wasn't the right time in my opinion," Patrick didn't even blink, and Art felt his heart pounding uncontrollably.
"What are you talking about?" Art asked. "You know, kids are something to consider after four years, but why would you know, all this conversation and you haven't said she's your girlfriend even once." The smirk on Patrick's face sharpened. Bingo. He won the discussion. "Good luck at the Olympics. You're really a powerful player. But I wouldn't get used to that so called 'happiness' with Liana, I'm saying this because I care about you." He patted Art on the shoulder twice and left the diner.
Art lost his next match in the tournament. Liana arrived at Art's apartment a few days after he got back. She had been busy with work, and for a change, Art hadn't insisted she come sooner. "Hey," she smiled, and he automatically smiled back. He had learned that it was always like this, no matter what he was going through, if Liana smiled, he smiled too. Annoying trait. Sometimes he wondered if he still had his backbone at all.
"Hey," he mumbled, returning to the living room and focusing on the TV. "What's up?" Liana took off her shoes and felt her eyebrows furrow in concern. This wasn't typical Art behavior. She had seen him after losses before; he was usually angry at himself but always softened when she arrived.
"You know, the usual. Preparing for London," he shrugged and didn't look at her. Liana sat next to him on the sofa. Closer than she would sit any other day. They had been in this routine for almost half a year now. They communicated better than their current level of communication suggested. "Can you look at me?" she asked, giving him a small kiss on the shoulder, feeling his shiver and watching him turn to her slowly and sigh.
"Hey," she said again, smiling and letting her nose touch his. "I'm sorry the tournament didn't go as you wanted." she added, and he closed his eyes, breathing heavily. "Do you want to fuck?" he asked after a few seconds. "I think I need this, need you," and she knew it was probably true. She could help him overcome the gloomy mood he was in. The way he asked, as if he was asking but vulgarly. As if he didn't know that every part of her body screamed his name at any given moment. As if there was a chance she would say 'no.'
"Do you want to fuck me?" she asked with a smile. And Art would never get used to how the delicate girl in front of him could be so slutty. How she could let him do whatever he wanted, and now he wanted to do so much. A bit to punish her for all the things he didn't know. A bit to teach her a lesson. A bit to explain to her that by this stage, it should be clear that he and only he would be the father of her children. But it's not clear to her, and he knows it's not clear to her. Because they don't talk about it. Because they let their lives just happen without paying attention to the small details. Without addressing the asterisks in their agreement.
Liana sat on him and started moving eagerly back and forth, kissing him and making them both moan. She began to place small kisses on his neck, not stopping her movements above him. "I'm going to keep watching TV, and you're going to be a good girl and not disturb me, right?" he asked, looking at her for a second and making her smile and nod. Almost drooling at the idea. Almost falling in love with the thought that he was going to fuck her and act like she wasn't his center of attention, even though they both knew she was.
She took off her shirt and examined him, gently grabbing his hand and placing it on her chest. He played with her nipple without looking at her. Art didn't know who he was punishing more right now, himself or her. But it was the hottest thing they had done in recent times. She felt him harden beneath her, and the moan that escaped her mouth went straight to his ear, causing him to turn her face towards him with a firm hold of her jaw. "If you can't stop disturbing me, you won't cum. Is that what you want?" he asked. And Liana bit her lip and quickly shook her head no. He had never threatened her that he wouldn't let her cum.
"I'll be quiet. Please let me ride you," she begged. Art loved when she begged. He always felt so desperate for her attention and so needy that turning her into this while they fucked was one of his greatest pleasures. "I don't think you're capable of riding me and staying quiet, Lia," he said, biting his lip as he felt her stand up.
"I'll be good." He almost made the most desperate sound he had ever made in his life from the lack of her touch. But Liana stood up to remove his pants and boxers, and he pretended not to watch her as she removed her panties and put them in her own mouth. Lucky he made the rules and couldn't look at her directly, otherwise, he would have cum in the most pathetic way possible.
His dick sank into her perfectly, and her head buried into his shoulder while he continued to pretend to watch TV. What was even on there? He heard her small moans swallowed by the panties she put in her mouth and found himself growling, grabbing her hair and causing her back to arch. He saw her eyes widen a bit, not used to his intensity, trying to understand if it was okay and only saw her nod slightly.
"I can still hear you," he said as she continued to move on his dick, trying to silence every sound that might come out of her. Sweating from the effort. "You see, when you want to be good, you can." he said, not stopping himself from moaning. One hand stabilized her with her hair, and the other held her chest tighter than usual.
Liana was close to cumming and started to clench around his dick, causing him to turn her face towards him by the hair. He didn't care about the TV. He wanted to see her cum. "Be a good girl and cum quietly, Lia," he told her. Wanting to see if she could do it. If she would succeed in the task to please him. She looked perfect with her panties in her mouth, red from the effort, his hand in her hair. Her eyes rolled back, and she came without making a sound.
Art came right after her, gently releasing her hair and stroking her scalp softly, removing the panties from her mouth and tossing them to the floor. He pulled out of her but didn't take her off his leg, refusing to detach from her.
"I missed you," he mumbled, and she giggled. "Not my voice tho," she bit her lip, and they both laughed. "Your voice is the sexiest thing in the world, Lia. Was it too much?" he asked, moving her head so he could study her exhausted face deeply.
"No. But I need you to tell me the truth, okay?" she asked quietly, "You can tell me to fuck off if I'm wrong, alright?" she added. "What?" he smiled, trying to show her she could ask him anything. "Did you talk to Patrick or something?" she asked, seeing Art's body language change completely. But he still held her on him. "Want us to get dressed for a moment?" he sighed, and she nodded, getting up from him and going to his closet to take out one of his shirts she loved to wear when she was at his place.
"How did you know?" he asked quietly after they both sat down on the couch again. Liana, dressed only in his T-shirt, and he in his boxers that he picked up from the floor. "The hair grabbing. It was unusual," her hand moved to her nose for a moment, and she rested her head on the couch, not taking her eyes off him but struggling to hide her tiredness. "Did I hurt you? Was it too much?" he asked again, and she gave him her most sincere smile. "No, Art, everything was fine. It just surprised me," she said, and he nodded.
"He caught me after the game and said all kinds of shit. I let it mess with my head," Art sighed, and Liana placed her hand on his, making calming circular motions. "What did he say?" she asked, not sure she wanted to know but knowing Art deserved not to be alone in this. "Said things about how he..." Art paused to take a deep breath, and she saw it angered him. "Do you really want to hear this? The way he talked about you, Liana. I would never talk about you like that," his jaw tightened.
"It's okay, I know," she nodded. "Said some shit about what you like in bed. The hair. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" he couldn't complete a coherent sentence. "Art, it's okay. I enjoyed it. Everything's really fine," she nodded, seeing how much it weighed on him. "He also said you were pregnant..." his voice was quiet, and he looked at her with a mix of curiosity and frustration. "Dickhead," Liana muttered and sighed, trying not to look at him.
She wanted to cry. It wasn't Patrick's place to tell. Certainly not to hold it over Art's head. "Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to," Art said, seeing it was hard for her. "No, I guess he said I was a terrible person or something," she muttered. "What? No, he said you wanted to keep the pregnancy, and he insisted it wasn't the right time..." Art looked confused.
"That's what he said?" she chuckled. The tears were in her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. "Well, that's not true. He lied to you," she stood up from the bed, feeling like she was sitting on burning coals. "Son of a bitch," she rolled her eyes. "Lia?" Art now not only looked confused, he was utterly bewildered. "He didn't know I was pregnant. The only one who knew at the time was Tashi, that's why I asked you for her number," she said, studying him and seeing his eyes widen in surprise.
"Why would he lie like that?" Art asked aloud. "Because he's a sick fuck who hates the fact that everyone is moving on with their lives except him," Liana fumed at a level Art hadn't seen before. Maybe on that night in his dorms, five years ago. "I swear to you, Art. This guy has no rationale. You know that," she continued. Her leg was twitching as she paced the living room, not looking at him. "I'm sorry," he didn't know what to say and ran his hand behind his head. Liana looked at him and saw his level of panic, knowing she was causing it right now. She stopped and sat closer on the couch in front of him.
"It wasn't planned, and Patrick and I weren't in a good place for months, if not years," she said, observing Art who nodded. "I only told him in Atlanta when we broke up, and I did it horribly because I told you, I was horrible to him." Art looked at her and took a deep breath, running his hand through her hair, moving it away from her face. "I'm sorry I dropped this on you..." he mumbled, feeling guilty for making her remember the whole thing.
"It's okay, but Art. Let's add a clause to our agreement, okay?" she said with an almost uncharacteristic seriousness. "Sure..." he looked confused again. "Don't get me wrong, I love fucking like this. You know I love it kinda rough, it's nothing new to you," she paused to catch her breath, embarrassed a bit by her words, "but don't fuck me because you're mad at me and think it'll solve something, because from my experience it doesn't solve anything, and I spent years like that with someone I sometimes think I hate" she concluded, and he nodded in response. "I'm sor-" he started to apologize again. "No, we're fine. Just, we're better than this. We can talk about things and then fuck like that. Okay?" she added a smile at the end and saw his familiar smirk.
"As long as I can keep fucking you with your panties in your mouth, I'm fine wi-" his tone full of humor was cut off as Liana quickly grabbed her panties from the floor and threw them at him as they both laughed.
'Need to talk to you' was the message Patrick received from Liana in the middle of the night. His heart raced, and he couldn’t help but smile as he sent her his address.
That's how Liana found herself at his place the next afternoon. He wondered if she skipped work for this. “Hey Li-” Her hand on his face cut him off. His head turned sideways from the force of the slap. He felt his cheek throbbing, and all he could do was smile. “Want to come in?” he asked, stepping aside to let her pass.
There was silence. He knew she regretted slapping him, but they both knew he deserved it. “Do you like my place?” he asked, trying to break the ice, unsure how. He hadn’t seen Liana in months. He won his last tournament, the one Art got knocked out of in the second round. He wondered if Liana knew. She was the only person he wanted to tell.
“Yeah, your parents always had good taste in real estate,” she said sarcastically. “Who the fuck you think you are?” She shifted to the real reason she came. “Patrick Zweig, Amand-” “Don’t call me that.” Her leg twitched involuntarily, and Patrick relished it. He knew he was a bastard for being pleased that he still had an effect on her. That he still made her nervous. That she still thought about him.
“Okay, Liana it is,” he raised his hands in mock surrender. “What right do you have to go around telling people I was basically your whore?” she asked, and he raised an eyebrow. “I never said that, Li, and if he told you I called you a whore, he lied. And if he’s lying to you, maybe you shouldn’t be-” “Shut up for once in your life. Can you do that?” she asked, stepping closer to him.
“You didn’t talk about what I like or don’t like in bed? I spent four years of my life with your pathetic ass, and this is what I get? You going aroun, telling people how I like to fuck?” she asked. He saw her jaw clenching in anger and closed his eyes to take a deep breath. “I just gave him some good tips because I know what you like,” he tried to keep his smug tone. “You’re fucking him, you deserve to enjoy it, right?” he added. “Thanks, Patrick, he knows how to fuck me without your help.” She rolled her eyes. “Yeah? Did he do it? The hair thing? You cum so quickly when someone pulls your hair, Li. A good girl would say ‘Thank you, Patrick,’ for sharing that with your boy toy.” His heart pounded wildly. He just wanted to look at her a bit longer, knowing that the second she finished yelling at him, she’d leave and wouldn’t want to see him again for a while.
“Don’t talk to me like that, Patrick.” She rolled her eyes again and looked like she was about to slap him one more time. He decided that if she did, he’d catch her hand and wouldn’t let go until she kissed it better because he knew she always gave in eventually. Always happy to let him do whatever he wanted with her in the end. Wondering if it was still like that. Wondering if she hadn’t forgotten how good he could make her feel.
“Oh, did I offend you, Amanda?” he chuckled, trying to provoke her further. “I don’t know why I came here, you’re hopeless, and now I have to add liar to your manipulative résumé.” She walked past him to leave the apartment, but he held her in place, facing him. “Is he your boyfriend?” Patrick asked. “Excuse me?” “Art and you, are you together? Or are you just letting him fuck you?” he asked. She was stunned for a few seconds.
“You’ve got some nerve. Let go of me. Now!” It took her a moment to compose herself, but she eventually raised her voice a bit. To his credit, he immediately let go. “Listen to me carefully, Patrick. You and I don’t exist anymore. You’re not my boyfriend, and you’re not my friend. You’re someone I once knew. If you get hit by a car tomorrow and the hospital calls me, I’ll give them your mother’s number. Do you understand me?” she asked, and he nodded with a half-fake smile, wondering if she really wouldn’t come if the hospital called her in that hypothetical scenario.
“Anything else?” he asked. “If you have any respect for either of us; me or Art, stay away from us. You’ve done enough.” She said, leaving his apartment with a slammed door.
Liana didn’t answer whether she and Art were in a relationship. That’s what he chose to take away from that conversation.
OK, I feel like you guys might come for my blood after this one. Please don't kill me tho 🙏🏻 I wanna know what you think as always, so talk to me, it makes my day 💜🤍
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