#and his dads abuse is no excuse to absolve him of all responsibility

[lifetanes]

octane is 26 y/o let him be responsible for his fuck ups once i challenge you apex community

[m3nt4llyr4v3d]

I loathe Andre Bourgeois

I hate this man so much, I hate his character, I hate how the narrative treats him, I hate how some of the fans treat him

I hate that I’m supposed to completely sympathize with a corrupt politician, but his daughter? The one he had the sole job of raising for most of her life, and obviously didn’t teach her how to act? Yeah, she’s awful, look at how she’s treating her poor father :(.

What’s that? He constantly abused his power? He literally tried to steal from Marinette’s family at some point? Erm, well he never wanted to be a politician in the first place! He had to give up his dreams cause of his awful wife :(. What do you mean he’s still intentionally using underhanded and illegal tactics to put certain laws in place, keep the public on his side, and win elections when he literally just shouldn’t do that? Well he gave up his power, so shut up!

What do you mean his constant abuse of power in his daughter’s name would literally enforce the idea that she can get away with literally anything without repercussions? No, she bullies him! What do you mean he still should’ve not indulged this since she was like, 7? Nah, she just bullied him then too! This makes perfect sense, now he doesn’t have to take a single ounce of responsibility for her parenting! That’s stupid and he should’ve been investigated by CPS literal years ago? Well Chloe’s gone, so the problem’s fixed, right? ————— I genuinely cannot believe of the fans are defending this man. I can get feeling sorry about the treatment he gets from his wife, but some of them literally try to absolve him of any and all parenting mistakes.

“Oh well, Chloe is old enough to know what she’s doing is wrong! It’s not anyone’s responsibility except hers! Everyone tried to reason with her, oh, and the one time he tried to discipline her, she said she’d call her mom! That means that he should literally never try, because she can do that!”

Except he fucking raised her like this. Him taking responsibility for the way he RAISED HER should be, I don’t know, getting her psychiatric help? Maybe actually setting boundaries? Disciplining her and making sure she doesn’t rely on his money or power? And her threatening to call her mom to complain? Do any of you genuinely think her mom is even going to answer that call? And even if you say it’s the threat itself, you should still absolutely be pinning this on Andre: he raised her to complain to him every single time she has any issue and to abuse his power constantly, this is a teaching he reinforced her entire life. She is taught to not take any responsibility and she harasses everyone because of this. She is taught to complain to someone in a higher power to fix/do everything for her. And when he does try, once mind you, to discipline her, she’s obviously not going to stop, she’s not going to reflect, because that’s not how she was taught to act.

Also the ridiculous double standard between people who completely him and not Chloe. Chloe’s mom leaving her and being verbally abusive for all of Paris to see doesn’t excuse Chloe’s actions, but I’m supposed to feel sad for Andre because Audrey is a terrible wife, and I’m just supposed to brush all his actions, including his fucking PARENTING, aside?? Not only that, people are saying that Chloe is old enough to know her actions are wrong therefore she’s not redeemable, but somehow her fucking dad is?? The grownass adult gets more sympathy? Absolutely ridiculous

You genuinely expect me to believe that I’m not supposed to feel anything other than pure vitriol towards Chloe, but sympathy towards that asshat? Get real

[justallihere]

I wanted to reply this to your stop comparing Dain and Tamlin post BUT we got a little long there.

This! People also forget that he was very well taught that Xaden and the rest were bad. Even Vi didn't trust him at first. He was being tortured on the reg, he also has a signet, that lets be real if he was anyone elses kid, would no doubt have been a straight death setence. But lets be real the second he turned his back on his fam/beliefs, he'd be killed for it. We also only get two povs. Vi's and Xadens. Dain knows what this school is like. He has seen it kill people, and given we learn signets are based on what people needs and vi is all about learning/knowing/knowledge, its safe to say he was worried about what she'd manifest signet wise.

Then we get to the other bit people are always stuck on, saying he wouldn't have helped her during threshing. He's just accussed his wing leader of breaking the rules, someone as far as he knows can't be trusted, of course he isn't then going to turn around and admit to someone who can kill him, that oh yea i'd totes do it for her. As for Amber, she was perhaps his closest friend in that whole entire war college, he was hurt that she could have hurt vi, didnt believe she could do something like that, and yea he was a dick when he tried to see for himself, but come on the guy is grieving, let him make mistakes.

And i love Liam and i hate that he's dead, reading it gutted me, hearing the graphic audio, was worse, don't do it. But Dain did what he thought was right. He's been raised on so much hate around the reblion kids that he accidentally sees shit and tells his dad because who wouldn't its not like he told his dad, oh btw go do this and kill them lol.

Dain betrayed his country for Vi. He refused to read her mind the first time, in IF, and who knows what they did to him for that, and helped when he activily realized A. he's been lied to his whole life, and B. his actions directly caused the death of a pretty cool dude. He activily worked to change. What the heck did Tamlin do? Oh right, locked her away, refused to listen to her, treat her as an equal, train her, and then belitted her in front of high lords. Dain would never.

All very good points! Dain is basically still a child. He’s been indoctrinated his whole life to act, think, and behave a certain way. It doesn’t in any way make him right, or excuse his behavior, or absolve him of responsibility for the mistakes he made and the consequences of his actions, but he admitted he was wrong and made a concerted effort to make things right. Tamlin was just an abuser, even if you ignore the fact that he’s way too old and should have known and been better.

Also I really like your point that Dain may have been worried about what type of signet Violet would manifest! Given he toes the line of having a power that would probably get someone else killed, of course he would be terrified that his best friend might end up with something similar or worse.

[castielmacleod]

HeIIers will hate John, a selfish abusive radge who acts like a drill sergeant dictator toward his own family, and love Dean, a *checks notes* selfish abusive radge who acts like a drill sergeant dictator toward his own family

“Oh but Dean’s only like that because of John” Ok? And that absolves Dean of responsibility for his own actions? His dad treated him terribly so he doesn’t have to make any effort to do better for Sam (who also survived John’s abuse btw!) and Cas and whoever else? I’m an abuse survivor. Should I just let myself treat everyone else like shit because of it?

“Well Chuck has been controlling Dean from the start! He made him act like that for the drama!” If Chuck’s been controlling Dean since the start then have we ever actually seen what a non-Chuck-controlled Dean would be like outside of 15x20? Or if Chuck has only been controlling Dean partially, then where exactly is the line between which of Dean’s actions were forced by Chuck and which were Dean’s alone? Or is this excuse only for Dean’s actions that you personally disagree with?

“Tptb just wrote him ooc over and over again” Usually when a character is written a certain way over and over again we’d actually start to call that consistent characterisation. If you don’t like it that’s one thing but it’s not really ooc if it’s something he keeps doing in a completely predictable and formulaic fashion.

“But Dean is so sad about it :(” Oh is he? Can I get your opinion on Kylo Ren for a minute? Or Billy Hargrove? Just quickly. What amount of sad, in your mind, starts to “make up” for the horrific and abusive ways in which Dean treats other people, particularly when there were zero attempts made by Dean to change or improve?

“Well secret good Dean isn’t like that” Good for secret good Dean. I don’t know that guy though. I can only comment on the guy I saw in the show and honestly I still see most of you engaging directly with canon Dean anyway, and not actually doing anything to amend his treatment of Cas for instance and in fact I see textbook verbal, emotional, and even physical abuse from Dean to Cas excused and romanticised constantly so. Secret good Dean doesn’t appear to be all too secret or for that matter good, imo

“He has really good moments though!” He does! Taken out of context he has really good, charming, funny, interesting, and/or sympathetic moments here and there. I can see that. I’m not sure how that makes up for the other 90% of the time when he is, put lightly, NOT having a good moment.

“It’s just Supernatural, literally everyone’s toxic, just get over it” And so we come back to why John is hated, then, if Dean gets to be excused, given that they treat their loved ones the same way. If everyone’s toxic because it’s Supernatural and you’re saying people shouldn’t or can’t have a problem with Dean because of that, why should anyone have a problem with John? I mean if it’s just Supernatural where everyone’s toxic. Why don’t people “get over” him? You see how that sounds insane?

“Well I love Dean and I’m not going to stop loving him because of someone’s rant on tumblr” Oh believe me, I know

[bylertruther]

not to continue to beat the dead horse that is milkvan, but i just find it really fascinating that...

brenner's last scene with eleven is an emotional appeal where he's all too late in trying to give her what she's always wanted and begged him for in exchange for his absolution. he offers her validation that he "loves" her, always wanted to "protect" her, and that he's her "family/real dad". obviously, eleven knows all too well at this point that what he's saying isn't true. he used her, abused her, and never once treated her with an ounce of humanity. she was a Thing to him, a tool and a trophy—a thing whose only purpose was to do, say, and think whatever it is that he told her to. the scene ends with her knowing this and refusing his offer. she does not and will not believe or forgive him, drops his hand, and goes her own way.

mike's last scene with her is eerily similar. mike, of course, has undoubtedly benevolent intentions, but it's still an unfortunate parallel. their scene is another emotional appeal where he, too, is trying to give her what she cried and begged him for a few episodes back, attempting to absolve or excuse himself for not saying he loves her "more" (as if he's ever said it at all). he finally tells her that he loves her, and in trying to explain why he loves her, he proves just how much he doesn't: he focuses on her powers, lies to her more than once, makes excuses for himself, and instead of recalling any of the sweet moments they've had on the show, the one that he brings up is their first meeting in the woods, when he claims to have first loved her. this inadvertently draws attention to the glaring truth that he still sees her as the very same girl that brenner does. it's in a drastically different light obviously, but the issue is that they're not seeing her as she is now and for all that she is. additionally, and likewise, he isn't saying this of his own volition either: he's been prompted to by her brother and he's saying it when he's scared he won't get a chance to say it ever again. she knows that her own experiences and heart have not deceived her: not only does she still have his box of letters and the flowers signed from, mike, but her memories of the past day or so are still fresh in her mind. again, she does not believe him, she possibly might not forgive him yet, she's no longer glued to his side afterward, and not only do we see her go her own way when she walks off to her room, but we see her do it again when she walks past him and will and stands ahead of everyone.

brenner's appeal didn't work, because he's no longer talking to the girl he kept prisoner in his laboratory.

mike's appeal didn't work, not only because his monologue is a direct and unknowing response to will's affections, but because he's also no longer talking to that girl he found in the woods: naive, alone, and afraid; the one that needed him just as much as he needed her.

eleven is still a kid, but she's growing into herself. she went to project nina to find out who she was, and while that's a journey that's not entirely over, there are many things that she knows now to be true: she's not a monster, not papa's, not hopper's, and not mike's. she's el. not perfect, not evil; just a person that is trying to do what's right, because while no one can save her or undo everything that's happened, she can still try her best to save everyone else. she's not eleven: the lab rat. she's el hopper: the girl who gets back up when she's knocked down; the girl who fights again, and again, and again to save this world that she's only just become a part of; the girl who loves, and loves, and loves in the face of unimaginable pain and loss, time and time again. "not hopper. not mike. you." + "there's more to life than stupid boys." she knows that now more than ever.

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

It annoys me when people complain about Julian and call him “whiny “. The person that John hurt the most throughout his whole life is his own son! I feel like this gets glossed over because he was more attentive to Sean “At least he was a good father to one of his children”. John failed Julian massively. Having Sean should’ve motivated him to try harder with Julian but I feel like it demotivated him because he realised how much of Julian’s life he missed and that made him feel bad about himself. Even in May’s book she says that John would’ve avoided Julian for the rest of his life to avoid feeling bad about himself & the choices he made with his life. And even when he got his visa he was happy to fly to other countries but not the country containing his son! I mean c’mon that’s very shitty and inexcusable. People can’t relate to John’s callous treatment of Julian so it’s downplayed and undermined by the excuse of “Oh well, John was better with Sean”. I know John appeared more motivated towards the end but doesn’t absolve him of the damage and pain he already caused to his son.

I try to understand John’s neglect of Julian from his perspective - I don’t want to excuse or justify it, but I still want to know what was going through his head to make him treat Julian the way he did - but I just can’t really understand it in the same way I feel like I can empathise with a lot of John’s other flaws. Like I feel like I can understand Johns mistreatment of certain people, or his mood swings, or his anger etc. But when it comes to Julian I struggle to understand him, and I just think its such a shame that Julian never got the closure he deserved with John. But I guess a few things to keep in mind when discussing this are:

1. Alfs abandonment

That Johns father, Alfred, abandoned him at such a young age, this might have affected John in such a way that made connecting with children a real challenge. Of course, he ideally still would’ve made an effort to connect with Julian more - but I guess that this was 1963, and he was someone who at this point had had absolutely no therapy. John’s own father I think was placed in an orphanage around the age of 5, so this neglect and abandonment appeared to be a bit of a cycle within the Lennon family-tree. Alf didn’t develop the neurones to be able to connect with his son the way a father ideally should be able to, and therefore John had trouble forming these connections too.

A real tragic story regarding this disconnect is one that ive heard Paul tell a few times (see this interview at 6:24 to hear him tell it). He essentially compares his ability to just naturally connect with children, to John’s inability to do the same; Paul grew up in a household where children and babies alike were around all the time - and in addition to this, there seemed to have been a lot more affection involved in his early environment compared to Johns. So when Paul was able to pal around at ease with Julian, John asked “How do you do that?” - and its unfortunately just not something you can just learn. I think John did want to be able to relate to Julian, and a part of him wanted to be a real dad - but I guess he just lacked the initiative to do so, as well as not having the needed facilities provided for him to be able to function as “good” parent (< or in other words, that man needed alottttttttt of therapy omg—)

2. Aunt Mimi’s coldness

I think by now its sort of been established that im not Mimi’s no. 1 fan - I don’t hate her, and I think she genuinely loved John, but ive been pretty critical of what I perceive her parenting style to be like. One aspect of this parenting style is that I think she was cold and deprecating towards John, which I presume took a toll on his relationships in such a way that made him susceptible to cynicism and even bitter contempt towards those he loved most.

“She never hit him: her worst punishment was to ignore him…When she did, he’d plead, ‘Don’t ‘nore me, Mimi!’” - I think that this type of parenting style could have effected the way John relates to Julian, perhaps making him feel it was okay to abandon him, maybe as a result of some unrecognised childhood angst or revenge.

Theres also a story where I think John said something to Julian a long the lines of, “I hate your laugh!”. Like, Jules was just some four year old living his life and then John, his own father, had this massive fucking mood swing. I feel bad for Julian cause my parents were like this (had random fucking mood swings and said some pretty contemptuous things) so I can empathise with him. At the same time though, I feel like I can understand John getting these mood swings (although, I don’t think that showing that kind of contempt towards a child is at all acceptable, and assuming that this sort of thing was a regular occurrence, I would say he was emotionally abusive towards Julian. Maybe John got these mood swings from Mimi (check this post for more on that).

3. Yoko’s influence and isolation

I think we first have to take into account here that John had a history of neglecting and failing Julian, and from what im aware of, he only started making contact with him again during his ‘Lost Weekend’ after being encouraged to do so by May Pang. So I don’t think we can make Yoko take all the blame for Johns neglect of Julian (and certainly not his emotional abuse towards Julian). But I think we have to also account for the fact that Julian has stated Yoko would refuse to put him through when he would ring his dad. And I just don’t know how much John had to do with that - as in, I don’t if John knew Yoko was isolating him to the extent that she did, or if he was unaware that she was rejecting several important and significant figures in his life.

For what its worth, Julia Baird wrote in her memoir of John urging (or really, begging) her to go to Cynthias house and ask Julian to phone him, because he hadn’t been able to get through to Julian, and he was trying to construct a better relationship with him around this time (this was before Sean was born, like you said, he seemed to lose motivation with Julian after Sean was born). I don’t know why Julian wasn’t taking his calls around this time - John seemed to think it had something to do with Cynthia, perhaps it was an autonomous decision made by Julian, perhaps it was entirely just a misunderstanding; I don’t know.

When it comes to Yoko, im conflicted - to some extent, I think John was being manipulated by her, and she was clearly isolating (even abusing) him - but also, he’s a grown man, and so he had to take the initiative for his own life. So I don’t know, but id say she is still partly responsible for spoiling Johns relationship with Julian.

~ ~ ~

At the end of the day, all I can really say is that John was just a classic case of parents needing therapy before they start, y’know, parenting - but it was 1963, and thats just not something most people underwent back then, especially people with more complex and unrecognised traumas, as well as mental illnesses that, whilst prevalent, may not have been so apparent. To clarify that point, I think John could function well-enough in his day to day life to be able to get by, because I don’t think his traits of mental illness tended to disrupt his life to such a degree that he could not function (at least not in 1963, though in later years, id argue more so they did; but even still, I don’t think John tended to struggle with mania or psychosis etc.) But I think he was still dealing with mental illness in a way that wrecked almost all meaningful relationships for him, as well as made feeling love and functioning as an emotionally stable and consistent person, a real hardship and challenge for him. And this inability to feel loved and cared for etc. made being a parent, quite simply, impractical. He needed therapy, and its a shame he died before ever receiving real therapy because it would’ve been interesting to see how John might have come to terms with really acknowledging his failures as a parent, and because Julian might have gotten some real closure with his dad.

All in all, I think Phillip Larkin said it best

[makeste]

regarding Best Jeanist, Dabi, and all of that

@kaleswagdragon​ I hope you don’t mind me posting this comment and my response as its own post, seeing as it quickly got out of hand and sort of morphed into a whole entire essay.

anyway, so! you say that it’s a mischaracterization, but it’s really not, though. I mean, props for bringing up the cultural context of Japan, in which the honne-tatemae culture of covering up anything that might lead to any sort of conflict -- even if it means harming an innocent victim in the process -- is a very real issue. so given that, I understand why so many people are interpreting Jeanist’s statement in a “how dare you bring this family shame to light” sort of way. and Caleb’s “dirty laundry” translation doesn’t help, given the “we’re more embarrassed than actually concerned about this” feel of that particular phrase, which he apparently chose just because of the clothing pun without really giving much thought to any other implications.

but in the actual Japanese, the meaning/context is somewhat different. here’s a link to a twitter thread clarifying the original spoiler translation, and breaking down the actual Japanese dialogue.

I think the meaning here is very clearly “you waited until the public’s faith in heroes was already wavering to bring this down on them as a final blow.” if he was simply criticizing Dabi for publicizing the Todoroki family drama, he would have stopped with that first sentence. the two sentences afterward (“you waited until everyone’s faith in heroes was wavering, when the damage would be too great to handle”) make it clear that what he’s actually calling Dabi out for is the way that he basically weaponizes his story into the perfect political tool to finally take down the heroes. which is an observation that we as the readers can verify for ourselves as being true. look at how he so carefully edited the footage of Twice’s death. look at the contrast between the way he acts in the video, compared with the homicidal glee we see from the actual Dabi in real time.

Jeanist is notably the only one who is able to get the same perspective as the readers here, since he’s the only person who’s physically present in Jakku with the real Dabi, but is also able to hear the video being broadcast. meaning that he’s able to hear both video!Dabi’s calm, prerecorded “I’m just a concerned citizen trying to look out for a society being taken advantage of by the ones charged with protecting it” speech, and actual!Dabi’s “hahaha fuck you Endeavor I’m bringing the whole country down even as we speak, well anyway time to kill you all” reality. he alone can see that stark contrast between the concerned whistleblower act Dabi is putting onscreen, versus his true attitude of “I don’t actually give a fuck, I just want to eradicate the heroes and make my dad suffer.” basically, Jeanist is the only one who can see that juxtaposition, and see Dabi’s reveal for what it really is, seeing as Dabi literally spelled it out for Endeavor and the others. and so he’s calling him out on that.

and he’s not wrong to do so. it’s clear that a lot of fans vehemently disagree with this, but being an abuse survivor doesn’t excuse you from having the same obligation as every other human being on the planet to try your best to be a decent person, which at minimum means not going out of your way to hurt other people. I say this as someone who’s experienced abuse, which shouldn’t need to be a disclaimer honestly, but I guess that’s how it is these days. anyways, though, I have, and I know a lot of other people who have as well. it’s a terrible, awful, exceptionally shitty thing to experience, and it affects everyone in different ways. and every single person who goes through something like that deserves help and support and time to heal, and it’s a tragedy and an injustice that Dabi, from what we have seen, never got any of that.

but that doesn’t excuse him from still being held to the same basic standard of “hurting other people is shitty” as everyone else. it doesn’t mean he gets a free pass. it doesn’t mean that anyone who says “hey, Dabi using his trauma as an excuse to murder people is kind of fucked up” is an abuse apologist. and it doesn’t mean Horikoshi is an abuse apologist for writing him that way, for that matter, because guess what? sometimes people who are abused grow up to become abusers. that’s just a fucked-up thing that happens sometimes. and pretending like it doesn’t is ironically not all that different from that whole “sweeping things under the rug” concept you mentioned earlier. it does happen, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that, because acknowledging it is one of the necessary steps to take in fixing it.

this attitude of “if someone was abused they should be absolved of responsibility for their actions” that I’ve seen in some posts is taking the concept of “abuse often has a profound impact on people’s mental health, and that should be taken into consideration before judging them too harshly for behavior that they can’t always necessarily control”, and twisting it into this nice little loophole that people can use to duck accountability whenever it’s convenient. but being abused doesn’t give you the right to abuse other people, is my point. nothing gives somebody the right to do that.

and Dabi is hurting other people. he waited ten years to tell his story specifically because he wanted to use it to make others suffer. and, putting aside the part where he’s trying to engineer the downfall of society as a precursor to the mass destruction he and his pals have planned, he also broadcast the story nationwide without the consent of the other abused parties involved. which I’m not saying he didn’t have the right to do, mind you, because it’s his story as well as theirs, and he has the right to tell it. and the right to make his abuser’s crimes as public as he wants, if that’s what he decides. but it also ignores the question of what his mother and siblings might want, and the fact is that they’re also survivors, and so in theory should have the same right as Dabi to choose their own healing process, and decide exactly how they want their abuser, who like so many abusers is also a close family member, to be held accountable. anyway, but all of that is obviously very, very complicated and I don’t think there’s a clear right or wrong side as far as this part of it all. it’s not a situation where everyone can be happy, which unfortunately is often how it goes.

anyway, I’ve kind of meandered pretty far from my original point now, so my bad. my points are, basically,

(a) I think the linked explanation does show that Jeanist is chiding Dabi for using his trauma in this specifically scheming and destructive way, as opposed to saying “shame on you for not being a good little victim and staying quiet”, which would be a ridiculous thing for Horikoshi, who’s explored the topic of abuse more thoughtfully than any other mangaka I’ve read, to randomly have one of his protagonists say.

and (b) the people calling Dabi out on his shit aren’t all smug victim-blamers who have no sympathy for what he has been through. the latter point (and a lot of this post, actually) isn’t particularly directed at you btw; it’s more of just a general statement brought on by some of the discussion that’s been going on these past few days.

anyways, I actually like that the fandom is talking about all of this! I just think it’s a very complex subject, and an even more complex situation currently in the manga. and ideally, people would try to acknowledge that complexity when discussing it, rather than simply picking a side and doubling down on it no matter what, or shooting down the whole thing as problematic writing just because isn’t a neat and tidy situation where you can simply say “oh, person A is right and person B is wrong, that’s it, end of story.” it’s not, unfortunately. it’s a messy clusterfuck of a topic that’s only going to get messier as this plot continues, so hopefully we can all just sort of brace ourselves for that lol. this is really just the tip of the iceberg, I think.

[voxvulpina]

LITERALLY EXACTLY

also ppl who will scream about how dabi is ONLY a victim (not also an abuser now) and has done nothing wrong (Or is just expressing his pain or whatever bs i saw), are the loudest when it comes to hating endeavour, as if a man realising he was a cunt and is working on fixing himself and making it up to his family (who he understands can still hate him btwww) is to blame 100% for a grown man who decides to kill people rather than get help for his daddy issues. Like yeah dabis got trauma coming out his ass but blaming endeavour on his behaviour is ridiculous, man is in his 20's!! He can chose to not attempt to kill his own family (who are also victims of the same man LOL) aND I would love to see more of overhaul, im a sucker for redemption arcs BUT I'd just love to see how he's handling things, he's such an interesting character, his dependance (is that the right word? He wants his dad lmfaoo) on pops even now is sooo interesting!! Like ppl will excuse shigaraki due to afo grooming him but not even blink at, yeah maybe a child growing up in the fucking yakuza wasn't good for him>

PREACH, ANON, I AGREE WITH ALL OF THIS 100%

Would you believe Dabi used to be one of my favourites? His rabid fans put me off him entirely. 🤧 Yes, he's traumatised, yes, his dad was absolutely awful, and I understand why he feels so betrayed and angry. But he's not just a victim, he's also a murderous psycho who'll burn everything and everyone in his path (including his own family) just to hurt his father. And you can't simply pin the blame on Enji and absolve Dabi of responsibility for his heinous crimes. That bears saying, same as Enji apologists ought to admit he effed up BAD and is the main reason Dabi came to be. But there aren't nearly as many Enji apologists as there are Dabi apologists, which is why I eventually stopped going into the Dabi tag around the time of the big reveal, when it was brimming with poor-little-Dabi posts and furious rants against Enji and against Hori for giving him a redemption arc.

Oh boy, I could talk about Chisaki for hours. I was one of the few who was absolutely certain he'd be brought back into the story, and I KNEW he would be desperate to fix his dad. I didn't foresee his mental health being as poor as it now, but it makes sense – he said it himself, he's got absolutely nothing left except Pops (...who isn't going to be too happy with him, if he ever wakes up...).

I've always found it annoying how most BNHA fans don't realise that the crux of Chisaki's character is his attachment to his father...most people make it out to be his supposed aversion to Quirks (which I think is just an expression of his own self-loathing, because actually, he only considers people as useful as their Quirks. He even NAMED HIMSELF and his two subordinates after their respective Quirks). Or his germaphobia, which is something he developed later in life – he was brawling with his schoolmates no problem as a kid, and we're shown a panel of what appears to be a teenaged Chisaki, shirtless, maskless and gloveless, who's clearly just used his Quirk in a physical fight and is staring at his hands, with someone's body parts splattered on the floor. No, what's always been there and really defines him is his devotion to his dad and his determination to protect his "family" at all costs. It's a twisted devotion ("Chisaki's warped compassion", Horikoshi calls it). I wonder though if the boss considered Chisaki his son in return? He never called him "Kai", only "Chisaki", which potentially adds a layer of insecurity to their relationship, on Kai's side.

I would love for Chisaki to get some amount of redemption and fully understand the pain he's caused Eri and his father. I think "Overhaul" is very clearly dead at this point, but Chisaki still hasn't really grasped the magnitude of what he did, and I hope he will at some point. I realise his dad (should he wake up) can't really be expected to forgive him... but I can't help hoping that he will 😣

Anyways, sorry for the essay, I'll shut up now. But thank you so much for piping up, Anon! 🥺♥️

[pjstafford]

Follow up to Truly Like Lightning and response to the Mean Girls of Tumblr

SPOILER FOR THE BOOK.

In a comment I made on the book club I mentioned that the daughter, Pearl, should not be blamed for her desire to have sex with her step-father but also, repeatedly have stated that Bronson is fully to blame for the sexual contact, that the chapter is shocking and that I find one of his wife’s attempt to justify his action disgusting. That seems to be the consensus of the book club even though people have different opinions. Different opinions are encouraged in a book club. In a later chapter SPOILER we will see how sharply her feelings towards her step father has changed due to being in a more “normal” environment and exposed to non familial boys her own age. In the ten chapters between the reveal and the Bronson guilt chapter, we see examples of harm done, really, to all the women. I believe the planning of the guilt chapter is intentional, we are supposed to sit with disgust for ten chapters, we are suppose to experience the harm, we are supposed to be disgusted at attempts by one of his wife to rationalize. We have all of that we carry into the beautifully written chapter of guilt and prayer for his sins. My heart soften. Yet, as I stated in the book club his guilt is self absorbed. He is concerned he has sin. Where exactly is the remorse for the harm caused his step daughter? So my heart is soften and I can see the path that took him there. That does not absolve him, in my mind, of any blame.

Somehow, the mean girls of tumblr who hide behind their lack of names or personal information about them, read my comments on the book club and say something attuned to: do you believe she thinks it’s ok he slept with daughter?” In particular, they took offense that the fact that Pearl was raised isolated and knew only adult women who were married to Bronson meant that she saw her adult path forward to be with him. It is not her fault she was raised in a maladaptive environment. They say, so she is saying women raised in a certain environment want to be raped by their father.

I don’t hide behind anonymity. You see my name, my face. I have discussed the work I do. I have discussed my life situation.

Yes, mean girls of Tumblr, I believe that home environments can affect us as adults. It’s a fairly well known fact. I have known young women, for instance, sexually abused as children equate abuse with love and sometimes initiate contact with older family males as a way to experience what they know of as love. It is so tragically sad. It is not their fault. It happens. Pearl’s case in unique. Even in the tweet you quoted you ignored the fact that I said she is not to blame.

How can my heart soften towards Bronson yet I can still hold him accountable? Well, there is the time I watched my dad beat my mom so badly she was taken to the hospital. That is all on him. My mom has no blame. Now, do I know that my brother had just died and that because my mother and my brother had been estranged for a few years my dad blamed her for loss of time? Yes. That helps me understand the path that got him there. It does not, excuse, condone or pardon his offense. Are there, nonetheless, things I love about my dad. Yes, oh my gosh, so many. I know you have a hard time understanding this, mean girls of Tumblr, because for you it’s all about the hate. Your purpose when you sit down at your computer screens is to let the hate flow from your body to impact and touch as many people as you can. That’s your choice. But it is possible for me to place full blame on someone and find compassion as well.

Now, book club....we can move forward if you want to, but you should know that the mean girls of tumblr are mocking everything we say. Taking selected quotes out of context and implying that all of us in reading this book is complicit in misogynistic patterns on incest, child abuse, polygamy. The mere fact of reading about it means you embrace it wholeheartedly. Imagine if you wrote it! Gee. I’ve read Moby Dick but have never wanted to kill a whale. Oh well, disproved that theory. ( although whenever I read the Hobbit and Lord of the Trilogy I find myself wanting a second breakfast. 🤔 ).

If everyone knows and are still willing to be part of the book club, then let’s go.

On the other issue, those fans who are David Duchovny fans but don’t want spoilers. I just think then no body is really having a conversation about the book who actually read the book. Then, you just let the haters have all the space. So, I respect their position. We can keep our rules but....I want to talk about this book.

[tothedarkdarkseas]

Alright, no better person to ask than you. How do you think fame has "ruined" Stu? I personally think that Stu came ruined and fame just...uh...let him experiment a bit, which I'm sure you agree with. Basically the bottom line is that do you think that, had he not risen to fame in such a tumultuous manner, or not risen to fame at all, would Stu be a better person?

You and me bud, we’re speaking the same language here. Birds of a feather! Cut for length!

I know it’s naughty forbidden language, but I just really enjoy Stu himself saying that he’s been ruined, that fame and that Murdoc ruined him. It is admittedly tragic, as he does have a point in suggesting his life was altered drastically by an event out of his control, and that it was continually altered without him understanding how far-reaching the impact of his choices would be– but it also just sounds so petulant. The thing with Stu and my thoughts on him is that, despite everything I say, I’m like… 95% “team Stu” when it comes to his relationship with Murdoc, at least. I do think, when we’re humanizing and sympathizing with the characters, that it’s important to not devalue how much right Stu has to, frankly, resent and disrespect Murdoc. I think it inadvertantly opens up a window to many of his shortcomings and personality flaws, but it’s also not something I think he’s wrong to feel toward someone who did, in a manner of speaking, “ruin him.” Having said that– of course Stu’s still got flaws that are entirely his own, fame only enabled them. The choices he made when he was too young and inexperienced to know better are still choices he made without anyone forcing him, Murdoc wasn’t his puppetmaster and he’s still (ironically) responsible for his irresponsibility– he just might not have had the opportunity to make them on the same scale.

It’s a big question though, whether or not he’d have grown into himself entirely differently. As much as I enjoy dunking on him and think giving Stu full autonomy comes with giving him a little blame to shoulder, I do think it’d be a bit blind to suggest fame doesn’t change a person and often for the worse. I think the easier answer, and the one that is probably most true, is that Stu would likely be a better person. That’s a far cry from being a great person, though, and I’m definitely intrigued by the idea that Stu could just end up being the same guy with less to show for it. I think it’s plausible that Stu might’ve “settled down” earlier and not had illegitimate children, but it’s also equally likely that he would’ve had one or two and been stuck in a position of supporting children he really couldn’t afford to. I think it’s plausible his substance abuse would’ve gotten better without such abundant access, but it’s equally likely it could’ve gone the other way and he’d be huffing/doing whipits back behind Tesco, and he’d nearly OD once before his parents foist an intervention on him and he moves back into their house, or into a small off-home structure they own like a shed.

I think I’ve sort of described my idea of young Stu before and it doesn’t drastically change without fame– I stick to the image of him working at Norm’s and working the funfair, fairly close to his parents, rather immature and coddled but not really a malicious person, starts laddish and ages into geezery, eventually trains to be a mechanic under his dad or maybe plays at a piano bar/sings covers locally on weekends but he’s not pursuing fame on a bigger scale than that. (Danni pitched the idea to me of him as an entertainer at these holiday parks they have over in merry ol’ England, and I think that’s just divinely funny.) It seems logical to me that Stu would get married at an “appropriate” age and I think it’s inevitable that Stu would end up with one divorce to his name. I’d expect it’d happen when he’s still relatively young, mid-to-late 30s at the latest, and he’d probably not rush to remarry. He’d likely continue paying alimony, and if there’s a child involved, Stu’d probably struggle with behaving as a dad and not a funny uncle. If there’s a kid involved, that inability for him to ever re-prioritize correctly and behave not only like a father but like a fair supportive partner is likely what leads to the split; if there’s not a kid, it probably ends even sooner as she realizes how unfit to be a proper husband Stu is, and Stu struggles with both wanting the care and security of a wifely+maternal female figure, but also craving things he isn’t getting anymore, and things he resents never getting to begin with. A Stu who is never famous might even become the sort of sour old man who thinks he should’ve been famous, and he may feel a similar but much guiltier twinge of blame for his parents or wife holding him back.

I don’t think it’d be impossible for Stu to have a mostly happy marriage and live a better life, and I don’t really argue that possibility, but I do think Stu’s got a “grass is always greener” mentality. As we see him now, he idealizes something he doesn’t have mainly because he doesn’t have it. He covets and resents this notion of might be, things might be better, he might be different, he might be the person he was “supposed” to be if Murdoc hadn’t crashed into his life. I sort of think a major part of Stu’s growth is coming to accept that the fantasy that turning left instead of right would’ve undoubtedly been the better path is truly that, a fantasy, and it allows him to dodge personal responsibility and fall back on a sulking escape-route of everything being decided for him and all of his faults being things he has no power to change now. It’s tricky because there’s an ounce of truth to it, to fame at 20 almost assuredly ruining his development, but as our speculating right now proves there isn’t any certainty. There is still an immaturity and an avoidance to, like… borderline fetishizing the notion of a “different life” that you’ve already internalized a lack of power over and also lack of responsibility for. It’s not Stu’s fault that what happened to him happened, and regardless of me being a big meanie to him I really believe that, I don’t want to sound like I’m letting Murdoc off the hook or giving Stu guff for resenting him… but it’s also very unproductive behavior to cling to a “coulda been” scenario, and it’s unflattering to make the notion of being “ruined” into an excuse that absolves you of fault for all the poor decisions you made over the next 20 years.

[kcwcommentary]

VLD4x03 – “Black Site”

4x03 – “Black Site”

Interesting to note that both this episode and last episode were directed by Steve In Chang Ahn. I haven’t yet seen any other instances within a single season of a person directing back-to-back episodes, so I wonder what this suggests about the production of season four. Also, this episode was written by the show’s Story Editor, Tim Hedrick, which becomes relevant to my criticism of this episode in a bit.

We open with Haggar/Honerva – it is really cumbersome to differentiate with the two names, and I do think this show expects us to do so. She is distraughtly staring into a magical reflective energy bubble (because apparently basic mirrors can’t be bothered with when you’re a space witch) at the brown skin face of an emaciated Honerva. She still has a clawed, purple Haggar hand though. I remain uninvested in Haggar, so the emotion of inner turmoil that the show thinks it’s giving us with her here makes me go ugh. She changes the color of her face to purple, indicating that this is a choice she is making. She is Altean, and it’s been a while since we’ve seen an Altean change their appearance (Allura first revealed this ability in 1x12 “Collection and Extraction,” though such a significant ability has never since been relevant to the story, which seems like a big narrative underuse for something so powerful).

The Druids are still torturing the Galra commander of the base from 3x06 “Tailing a Comet,” who says it must have been Lotor who attacked him. This is a change, since he wasn’t naming anyone when he was tortured at the end of 3x06. I really wish shows would stop aggrandizing the imaginary idea that torture produces true information. Haggar comments, “No one can completely wipe a memory away,” which of course is a narrative double-voiced reference to herself in the guise of referencing the commander. The show tries to write Haggar as being the bad person who doesn’t remember being Honerva, but I really hate that because it’s done to absolve Honerva of her terrible behavior, behavior that began long before she became so poisoned that she lost her memory and started calling herself Haggar. That this show thinks it depicts Honerva to be a good person with no bad behavior – they basically try to absolve Honerva with a Devil-made-me-do-it excuse – disturbs me.

The Castle Ship is landing on Olkarion, carrying more refugees. Coran identifies them as “a few hundred more souls looking for a new home.” Shiro reidentifies them as “a few hundred more soldiers in the fight against the Galra.” It bothers me that the show conflates being a refugee with being willing to fight in war. By definition, war refugees are people who are trying to escape war. But even if Shiro is accurate, and the refugees depicted in this show are willing to fight in the war, the show never shows them fighting. I never get a sense that this billion-member Voltron Coalition contributing to the war is ever any more than a few dozen people.

Pidge returns. Everyone happily runs to meet her. Of course, I still can’t help but to compare this to how everyone reacted in 4x01 “Code of Honor” to Keith returning. Pidge has brought Matt with her (because apparently he can abandon his post as a rebel and come with her). Pidge introduces Matt to everyone, including Allura.

The first time I watched this episode was the weekend after season seven was released. I had gone through the two weeks between San Diego Comic Con and the release of season seven so happy that the show was finally going to have some clear queer inclusion through the revelation about Shiro and Adam. But then, before I could start my viewing marathon to get caught up on the show and watch season seven that weekend, discussion of the realities of the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it level of inclusion and the use of the bury-your-gays trope with Adam’s character was happening online. So, by the time I was watching this episode, I was in an aggravated mindset. And then I saw this scene.

The blatant, over-the-top depiction of Matt’s attraction to Allura infuriated me. Watching it now, I can just see the scene as yet another instance of heterosexual privilege, in which the depiction of a man attracted to a woman is not subtle or hidden. It’s glaring. The double standard makes me feel ill. Matt’s behavior is over the top and feels like a celebration of the dominance of men being attracted to women in American storytelling. I can easily imagine that those responsible for this scene – writer, director, executive producer – they all are so ignorant of the privilege afforded to the perspective of men attracted to women that they were (and still remain) clueless to how obnoxious this scene is and how obnoxious they were in creating it.

And of course, Lance is jealous. I haven’t been interested in Lance’s jealousy over Allura before, I’m not interested now.

Matt sees Shiro. This is part of this scene that I really like. Matt holds out his hand to shake Shiro’s, calling him “Sir.” I appreciate that Matt has such clearly depicted respect for Shiro. Shiro shakes his hand briefly before pulling Matt in for a hug. Shiro is not a boring commander-guy character, and moments like this prove it. He has a significant softer side. He deeply cares about the people with whom he serves. Recontextualizing this knowing that this is the clone, he still feels so warmly about people that he wants to hug them, so again, he’s clearly not an “evil thing.” He also expresses a willingness to continue the search for Pidge and Matt’s dad.

And the scene ends with Lance continuing to be jealous.

Zarkon is being put into some new armor, complete with constant quintessence vials built in. Haggar complains to him about Lotor, and Zarkon responds by condemning Haggar’s elevating Lotor to the position of authority that he’s in. “It’s time to relieve my wayward son of his duties,” Zarkon says. This is only beginning to hint at the abuse that Zarkon and Haggar have inflicted over the millenia on Lotor. That this show writes Zarkon and Haggar to be abusive and then ends the show by demanding we absolve and forgive them for their abusive behavior is infuriating. This element of the show’s plot is an insult against every one of us who have been abused by a parent.

There’s a longer-than-it-should-have-been scene of Pidge giving Matt a tour of the Castle Ship. All the information in it is information we viewers have known for a long time, so it’s not adding anything new to the show. Because of that, it’s mostly a worthless scene. The quick cut and tonal shift of the voice acting of “This is our cow,” from Pidge, however is funny.

Lotor’s people are busy working on building another part of the Sincline. Lotor’s been summoned back to Zarkon’s throne. Given how he talks to his generals, he couldn’t care less about Zarkon resuming as Emperor. Narti accompanies Lotor.

There’s a scene with Allura and Coran and the cow. It’s supposed to be funny.

Lotor meets with Zarkon and Haggar. Zarkon relieves Lotor of his position and speaks with clear disdain. Zarkon says both, “Your short reign will be regarded as a black spot on the Galra Empire for years to come,” and, “You are no longer needed.” This is just a glimpse at how he has treated Lotor over the millennia, and it’s already clearly abusive. Lotor’s face as he walks away reaffirms his comment in the earlier scene that he doesn’t view holding the throne right now as being necessary for his plans.

Haggar says, “I sensed a powerful energy on [Lotor] when he entered.” Well, that’s vague writing. She creeps around and stares at Narti. The camerawork clearly focuses in on Narti, not Kova. After departing, Lotor detects and destroys a tracker that’s been placed on his ship.

Between milkshakes and now Hunk lounging with food, none of the Paladins in this episode seem like they’re busy dealing with a war. Large parts of season four have this odd casual tonal quality to scenes and plots that feels so off in an ongoing story about a war.

Referencing an element to the episode 2x07 “Space Mall,” Lance sits in the dark playing the video game he and Pidge bought at the mall. The game is stylized after old 8- and 16-bit RPGs. Given my own history with such games, I genuinely feel nostalgic seeing it depicted this way. Coran and Allura interrupt because they want more milk. So, we get another long scene with the cow. We do learn that Lance knows how to milk a cow, which is not an everyman skill. Coran and Allura react in horror, so we can conclude that Alteans aren’t similar to mammals (why do female Alteans have breasts then?). It’s like they’ve never seen someone consume something extracted from an animal before, but I can’t believe that the two of them are so socially isolated that they’ve never encountered someone who does, even if they themselves do not. I imagine that the writer and director did this scene without much of any thought to the anthropological implications it contains. They just thought it was funny. To me, it just feels out of place. Again, it’s so casual.

Lotor returns to his generals. Axca reports the second “comet” ship is complete. Again, the camerawork focuses on Narti, not Kova, and we see that Haggar is watching Lotor through her. How she can be doing so through Narti, who we know is blind and has no depicted eyeballs, I don’t know. “No!” Haggar says in some raspy, desperate voice upon hearing that Lotor is building ships. She hears the word “comet” and jumps to the conclusion that it’s the same kind of “comet” Voltron was made from. This is another instance of this show having people jump to conclusions because the show needs them to, not because it would be logical that they would make such a conclusion. It’s a cheat, a shortcut in writing.

Haggar tells Zarkon, who assumes Lotor is keeping them secret so that he can use them against the Empire. Again, this feels like a jump to a conclusion, but it also could be that Zarkon is a megalomaniac, so he thinks everything is about him. He orders his fleet to “hunt down Prince Lotor.”

Pidge, Matt, and Hunk do something to improve the Castle Ship’s ability to track Galra ships. They also decipher Galra communications that they had previously been unable to do. They learn Zarkon is alive. They also can see Zarkon’s fleet moving toward Lotor’s base. There’s a team meeting. Pidge finally says she thinks she can upgrade Voltron as a whole with the cloaking technology she’s been using for ages on the Green Lion. She says she’s been working on it for a while but that she can’t pilot the Green Lion and operate the cloaking at the same time. That makes no sense whatsoever since she can pilot Green and use Green’s cloak simultaneously. It’s more contrived writing to put Matt in Green with Pidge.

Lotor’s base is attacked. Voltron shows up, cloaks, and observes from a distance. Lotor moves so that he, his generals, and the remaining part of the “comet” can escape on the two Sincline ships created so far. “How did they find us,” Axca asks. “We must’ve been tracked,” Zethrid responds. Lotor then jumps to the conclusion that it’s because of Narti. The camerawork clearly focuses on Narti, not Kova. Since Kova was with Lotor just as much as Narti was, there’s no reason for him to assume Narti and not the possibility of Kova, especially since Kova originated with Honerva/Haggar. But Lotor jumps to the conclusion that it’s Narti’s fault because the writing is again cheating, and he kills Narti.

This terrible writing was a portent that we can only see in hindsight of how badly the conclusion of the clone plotline would be written. Just like with the clone of Shiro, the show here instantly writes Narti to be worthy of death. No consideration of her innocence. No recognition that she’s being used by Haggar. It’s the same with the clone. The writers of this show think that if you lose your agency, that you are worthy of death. The writers would probably react to this criticism of Narti’s death by saying Lotor’s a villain, but since they do to the clone of Shiro the same thing for the same reason, they reveal through their writing choices that this is how they think. If someone deprives you of agency, you are “evil” and deserve to die.

Also, what message does it send that this show introduced Narti as blind and could have given us an interesting character of diverse representation, but instead they use her as death fodder, with the narrative placing the blame on her instead of on Haggar. It started most definitively in 3x07 “The Legend Begins,” but the writers of this show wrote with the purpose of absolving Honerva/Haggar of her behavior for a long time on this show. I guess it should be no surprise that that absolution is the climax of the series. Writing is about making choices. Every moment like this is a choice. And this episode was written by the show’s Story Editor (at this point in its production) Tim Hedrick.

Lotor doesn’t explain himself, as he walks away after killing Narti, and none of his generals have any reaction. Narti is a woman with whom Axca, Ezor, and Zethrid have been working closely for a long time now. And none of them react to seeing Lotor kill her. None of them demand to know why.

Lotor and his remaining generals leave on the Sincline ships. Despite the hugeness of space, his two relatively small ships fly so closely to Voltron that Voltron sidesteps Lotor’s ships at he last minute. There is literally no reason for this to happen except the writing is contrived. The show wants an excuse to end Voltron’s cloaking. Why Voltron, seeing Lotor’s ships coming at them, having more than enough time to move out of the way, only does so at the literal last second possible is senseless. Again, contrived.

Voltron destroys dozens, maybe even hundreds of Galra ships.

Zarkon issues an Empire-wide message: Lotor is deemed an enemy of the state, and Zarkon wants Lotor killed on sight. This ordering Lotor’s execution and dying in combat with Lotor in episode 5x02 “Blood Duel” are the only significant things Zarkon does in the show after the battle at the end of season two. There’s very little reason for him to have survived the end of season two. And here he is, ordering the execution of his son, and that’s one of his endless horrible actions that he’s absolved of by the show in the final season.

A lot of blame for the bad storytelling in this show goes to the show’s executive producers, absolutely. But I don’t absolve the show’s Story Editor either, especially when he’s the writer of an egregious episode like this.

[fancyfade]

[image: a couple panels from Robin: Son of Batman. first, the atmosphere is very blue - Damian (Robin) and Maya (nobody) are outside at night. Maya holds a knife on Damian. She says "I'm looking forward to making you the first (kill). You killed my dad. I'm a nobody because of you!" Damian says "You want an apology or something?" Maya says "So I can absolve you of your sins? Not a chance." The camera zooms up on her face (in Nobody’s 6-eyed mask) as she says “You are unforgiven, Damian Wayne.”

next screencaps show the characters still outside at night, but it is a couple issues later. Damian is staring into the distance and Maya is behind him. Damian says "I never understood why he forgave me for what I did to his family. I never even had to ask. The truth is, I justified what I did the same way I did with your father. He was no more a villain than Damian Al Ghul was. But when I took his life, I took away any possibility he had to turn his life around.”

Damian takes off his mask and says “The bitterness that drives you wasn't put there by him. It was me. I put you on the path to be a Nobody. If you keep going... I couldn't life with that. But there's no trophy for me to put back. No magic words. You will never forget what I did to you. I'm truely without options. So I guess all I can say... All I have left... is to ask... please... will you forgive me,Maya?"

Maya, still in her nobody mask, says "Back on the island, when you were helpless under the water, I heard my father's voice whispering dark things again. But then.... I heard someone I hadn't heard in forever. IT was my mom, and it was bright. She was telling me what you had once said. That I didn't have to be a Nobody, that I could survive in the light if I wanted to bad enough... I knew then that something had changed inside me, and that for you, being Robin was real and not an act.”

The camera zooms out and we see the silhouette of Maya and Damian in front of clouds that are yellow against teh blue sky. Maya begins reaching up for her mask. She says "And you're right... I'll never forget what you did to my father, but my mother used to say "forgiveness isn't forgetting. It's giving the other person the freedom to make new choices." I'm thinking she may have been right... for both of us. So, I want you to know... even though right now you feel like you're all alone, and you've lost your father and your brothers...”

She takes her mask off and leans in close to him, handing him the Robin insignia and says "... You've gained a sister." She hugs him and says "You are forgiven, Damian Wayne."  end image]

end image, begin commentary

info: When Maya says “The first”, she’s talking about her first kill.

well, despite me normally disliking forgiveness arcs, i wound up really liking this scene and this character interaction. I think it works for a couple reasons

a) despite Maya’s mom’s claims that forgiveness is giving people the freedom to make new choices, it’s not like Damian waited around for someone to forgive him to actually make new choices and start his life down a different path

b) Maya has had 5 issues to see that he actually changed

c) it’s never acknowledge in text as something that makes it different from Maya’s dad and Talia, but Damian was like... 9 years old when he went on the Year of Blood and probably 10 or 11 when he killed Maya’s dad. And despite the main character being a kid, and it making sense that Damian wants to try to fix things as best as he can, there is a difference between a full-grown adult going around doing objectively evil things and a kid who was groomed from birth to be an assassin doing the same.

(a little personal aside: I remember when I was a kid and my mom tried to convince me we had equal responsibility in the abuse that she metted out - but kids do have different power, different brains, and a different ability to take responsibility. Not like that excuses any of the bad stuff I (or damian) did, but there is a difference). And holy shit I just realized that Damian was totally projecting on Goliath but I was projecting on Damian whoops. That probably explains why I like this comic and his character so much.

[bthump]

This is about Falconia, bodies and lives being bought and sold, the natural order of the world, etc.

tw for csa (no graphic panels but still disturbing enough for a cut imo)

The Conviction Arc shows us in broadstrokes the world humanity’s collective unconscious wants to overturn through starving crowds, dungeons filled with tortured ‘heretics,’ rampant plague and the desire for a saviour, and nobles terrorizing peasants using god as an excuse, but this is the up close and personal version. Lives and bodies as commodities, weak trampled by the strong, poor ruled by the rich, and everyone accepting it as the way things are.

Our three main protagonists during the Golden Age all have very personal formative trauma that revolves around being bought and sold as a matter of course.

And Griffith’s dream, as someone wracked with guilt for lives lost in his battles, someone who has sold himself to a rich and powerful predator to save some of those lives, is to overturn this natural order of things.

And he does. Falconia is a place where children aren’t sold as sex slaves, where the powerful do not oppress the weak, where the rich don’t exploit the poor, where everyone is treated equally and with dignity, where Guts, Griffith, and Casca could’ve all had happy childhoods.

One of the important aspects of this theme re: societal power dynamics and exploitation is that these evil actions are excused away. This is true of like, just about every abuser of power and rapist in Berserk. Some think it’s okay because someone more powerful than them told them they’re allowed (torturer, Wyald/probably the rest of the apostles, Mozgus’ torturers, Mozgus and the inquisition in general passing the buck onto God, Donovan because Gambino allowed it, etc), some think it’s okay because that’s just the way things are (Donovan again, Adon, Rosine’s got some of this, etc), some think it’s okay because they’re powerful enough to do anything they want (implied with Gennon, Ganeshka, the Godhand, a lot of apostles, Casca’s attempted rapist nobleman), and finally some think it’s okay because the world wronged them (Gambino, apostles like Rosine again and Eggman, Jill’s dad, the baby eating heretics lmao, one could argue the King, Mozgus’ torturers again, etc).

Again, it all comes back to the “reason of the world,” the natural order of things that NeoGriff overturns. In the ordinary world these people with power can do whatever they want and justify it to themselves. In NeoGriffith’s world, they don’t. Apostles, our prime example of powerful preying on weak because they’re allowed to, no longer prey on humans, simply because of NeoGriffith’s existence.

It seems safe to assume nobles no longer exploit people either, if nobility is even still a thing in Falconia. Like granted, I’m taking some of this as read based on what we’re told Falconia is, but I feel like the apostles (and the explicit focus on equality) are a good representative example of the point of Falconia, which is to essentially fix everything we see wrong with the world in the Conviction arc and, like I laid out above, in our protagonists’ lives.

The fact is that Falconia isn’t just a utopia on a distant macro level, where the readers can look at it and go, hm seems nice I guess but w/e. On a micro level it’s a place where these horrible things that happened to the characters we personally love and care about wouldn’t’ve happened. I, at least, am emotionally invested in that utopia because of this, yk?

But here’s where I get critical of the portrayal:

Femto and the Eclipse rape is the epitome of the harmful power structure. Like, Femto hits every branch on his way down this tree lol. During his transformation he met God, God absolved him of his guilt and responsibility by telling him he can do whatever the fuck he wants and it’ll be the right thing. He’s taking the place of the nobleman he saved Casca from and exemplifying existing power structures of strong preying on weak, and it’s petty revenge.

One can easily argue that the Eclipse rape is a distillation of every abusive power structure in Berserk.

So okay, you have Falconia, a utopia that exists to eschew these power structures and create a place of equality where no one is exploited, created by a dude whose defining act is the epitome of these abusive power structures.

And frankly it’s fucking pointless. This feels like the shallowest of shallow hot takes lol. Like, oooh what if this wonderful place where all the horrible things that traumatized our favourite characters are no longer an accepted given was created by an evil demon rapist???

Like... okay? And then what? The Eclipse rape has nothing to do with the social structure of Falconia, NGriff seems to have completely delivered on his/humanity’s dream regardless, he is now the higher power making the calls and he hasn’t told everyone to do whatever they want no matter who it hurts. From what we’ve seen he’s done the exact opposite, existing as a tempering influence on the apostles who no longer prey on those weaker than them, ending the Holy See’s reign of terror, ending wars in general, and uniting people in their differences.

So it’s just like, an arbitrary evil act which creates an artificial sense of moral greyness. It has no deep meaning. I mean I suppose Miura could address it in the future - I’ve mentioned that I think it could theoretically be really interesting for Casca to visit Falconia and see the dream she devoted her life to having come to fruition because of her rapist. But even so, that doesn’t have any like... deeper intrigue. That’s interesting for Casca’s character, not as an examination of moral relativity or w/e.

Similarly, if NeoGriffith turns out to be more human than he looks he could reflect on this contradiction in a potentially interesting way.

But I can’t think of a way to make it an interesting examination of morality. It’s boring at its core imo. I mean you could argue that it’s still worthwhile on that personal character level, but let’s be real here - no amount of potentially interesting character stuff in Casca’s future is worth removing her from the story for 20 years, and anything w/ NeoGriffith would be a retread of human Griffith’s guilt issues and frankly I don’t see it happening anyway lol.

So yeah ultimately this whole egalitarian utopia created by a rapist demon thing just does not work for me at all. There’s no reason the creator of this paradise /had/ to be a symbol of this abusive power structure it exists to destroy, again, that’s just an arbitrary happenstance, not a pre-requisite to utopia building, so it doesn’t say anything about the nature of Falconia. It doesn’t say anything about utopias in general, it doesn’t say anything about those power structures that we don’t already know (ie they bad, equality good).

It’s like, fake deep tbqh.

The actual interesting and morally grey aspect of Falconia is the way world peace was achieved by setting a bunch of fantasy monsters loose on humanity, and that has nothing to do with the Eclipse rape. Like, that’s literally all you need for the moral complexity. We have world peace and a growing utopia that everyone is welcome to join, but the price is monsters everywhere, and this could not have happened without those monsters to unite humanity in fear. Is the world better or worse than it used to be?

And NGriff being a rapist, or his demon alter ego being a rapist, or whatever the deal is there, adds nothing to that question, rather, it distracts from it and devalues the actual moral ambiguity.

In fact, it makes me wonder whether Miura regrets going with rape as his way of demonstrating Femto’s evil. Because it’s been such a non-issue to the whole theme of power structures, utopias, equality, etc, that it feels like Miura is sweeping it under the rug lol - it’s less of an attempt at dark irony and more the elephant in the room. I can’t even say with confidence that Femto was intended to be a symbol of exploitative power structures, despite how obvious it seems, because it just... hasn’t impacted the themes of the story at all.

[cryptojuice]

A guide to living with my father:

(alternatively titled “a letter to my self”)

- When spending time at home together, do not initiate activities. At the same time, do not interrupt his. Furthermore, do not partake in activities of your own leisure (watching videos, baking) lest he become upset that you are either interrupting him, wasting his space, or wasting your own time. Make yourself scarce.

-Do not attempt to express opinions that oppose or only partially agree with his. He will become upset, defensive, and standoffish.

-Do not express a desire to help in one aspect (ex. financially: getting a job or covering the cost of lunch yourself). He will belittle your capabilities and judge your activity or lack thereof in other areas, such as cleaning – that should be your responsibility, as his daughter.

-For the love of all things, become not bold enough to criticize his actions or choices. No matter his apparent mood or the current setting, he will hold a grudge.

-A lack of validation will send him into poor mood. Reassure him you love him at all partings, or he will haunt and complain about you to other family members later.

-He will never understand the complex and inexplicable ways your multifaceted, neurodivergent, utterly conflicted mind works. He will judge you for things beyond your control. He has been programmed as a left-brained machine of a man.

-Do not expect him to help you with your responsibilities when you are busy. Do not ask him, either, unless it concerns mathematics and he is not preoccupied, but also ensure he is not attempting rest in the next few hours.

-He will not associate his childhood behaviors with yours. His were a defense mechanism, of course, and others’ are inexcusable.

-Do not expect him to remember what does not serve his purposes.

-The rule of thumb: anything negative he does is excused and absolved. Accidentally replicating any of those behaviors will put you in grave standing.

-Any idea or habit you have will not be congratulated, but if it is later picked up by one of his favored peers, all credit will be theirs. He will constantly and proudly laud their genius.

-He is a great man -- and social, and funny, and smart, and kind around all others -- they say. Of course no one will fully believe what you say about him, you’re biased.

-There’s no use in opening his eyes to progressive concepts. Although he tries to embrace all sexuality and culture, he will ridicule ideas of nontraditional gender expression and sociopolitical revolution. He will occasionally use misogynistic slurs or vaguely racist stereotypes which, when challenged, he does not see fault in. (An accepted and even believed coming out seems unrealistic.)

-He will not hit you or other children, but he will threaten to at times. He will insist despite himself that it is necessary to establish discipline. Remain silent at these times. You will be scared for others’ safety occasionally, but you will only fear your own once or twice: when an open act of defiance turns his eyes venomous and his hands become vices to grab you and pull you back home.

-Once you pass the age of thirteen, he will regret the way he raised you. He will revert his views of freedom to “children should be seen, not heard” once you begin to challenge the world and cement your own life dreams. He will blame attributes of other individuals on their level of physical “discipline”. You, too, may at times feel guilty that he didn’t hit you more.

-And do not compare his negative behaviors or opinions to those of his father. (Because it can’t be true, because for gods’ sakes, that man abused him, and you have no idea what that was like.)

It is difficult – even when the witty and kindhearted dad of your distant memories shines through – to believe you might ever become free in yourself one day. You will.

-Do not let him break you.