#and i always feel terrible for him. like in his first scene he just doesnt know how things work and then he gets EMBARRASSED

[hellwurld]

not yet titled, emhahee / run boy run, @pigeonwit / newsies: the broadway musical, disney

[phantajam]

my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)

[oddussy420]

hello hello ☺️ this is about the actress reader x security guard Miguel bit you wrote:

I’m thinking about how they met, how reader was so kind and open with everyone on the first set, talking to everyone including the security guards. Miguel was surprised since all the other actresses never really paid attention to the staff, but you went out of your way to be kind to everyone.

Eventually you realised you needed more practice and like a good friend, Miguel offered to help. He is terrible at running lines but he cooks dinner every time you go over so you can’t complain. Or maybe you should because the scene you’re playing is so romantic and full of tension you’re not sure if Miguel is even trying to act.

When you tell him about the gala he makes sure he’s working that event (not realising you would have asked him to go with you) so you show him your outfit and he matches you. Perhaps he spends the rest of the gala trying to find you, leaving his post and wandering around. Is his carelessness a security breach, or is it finally his chance to tell you how he really feels?

Sending lots of inspiration your way with absolutely no pressure to do anything with it ☺️

This is so cuteeeee. Thank you for the ask

You affect him with everything you do and you dont even know it. He doesnt know how youre so famous but youre still so human. Every interaction with your fans just shows your kindness and hes one of the few people that sees you behind closed doors and he knows how kind you are.

When he first started working around you his first thought was “oh great. Another spoiled selfish egotistical actress who thinks the world revolves around them” he learned from past jobs to not make eye contact or physical contact with any of the elite. In his mind there are two different worlds the rich and famous and everyone else. He thought you were gonna be like everybody else hes ever worked for.

The first event he worked he was assigned to be your personal security guard. He was in the back of the limo sitting across from you, recalling all of his training when you spoke to him. Not any sort of command or request or rules as to how he should act either. A genuine honest to god question. “So whats your name?” I guess that should just go to show how hes treated in his day to day life that such a simple everyday question would break his persona so quickly.

But a part of him thought that it was a fluke and to think nothing of it so he responds with his name. Then you ask another question than another question then another until you are both having a decent conversation. I mean he cant believe it THE A list y/n l/n known for the worlds most critically acclaimed movies and tv shows is chatting to him.

You constantly remind him to not call you by your first and last name. Even a nickname would be acceptable. He would do anything for you. Big or small. Whether it be carrying your purse or giving you a piggyback ride bc you broke your heel. He is happy to do it. He was even happier when you hired him as your exclusive and sole bodyguard. He was gonna ask you anyway but was afraid youd say no.

Thats all i got for tonight. Lmk if you want anymore parts or even if you enjoyed this one. I love hearing from people!! You guys are never a burden and i will always make time for yall <3 sorry for getting sappy im just emotional and probably pmsing rn anyway byeeee 😘😘

[ludinusdaleth]

okay listened to that reslayers take episode devexian scene and as the first devexian thottie i have thoughts and analyses! god i missed him.

-i was wondering about this for years but matt continues to use he/it for dev, so i assume that is his pronoun set for certain.

-its palm can split to create a minor illusion

-he sought frog out. this is fascinating to me. he doesnt usually look for his children, as we know from fcg & frida's struggle to understand themselves and almost anger at d for not giving them context to themselves.

-touch seems to be a very intimate thing among aeormatons. devexian reaches for frogs hand and takes it within a minute of meeting her, and asks if he can inspect her jaw for her designation.

-"you, like most of us, are.... beautiful". he is in awe at his people's beauty, rightfully so. and at times, his own (he likes his jawline. me too. hes thrilled with having a modicum of attention at being drawn by frog)

-"what is your designation- pardon that. what is your name?" like an old man learning new social norms, it's obvious aeormatons used to refer to themselves with designations. but hes trying to learn how other aeormatons integrated into a non militaristic society, that doesnt always see them as different.

-some do see them differently, however. dev says it is best to not show their identities to just about everyone. it vaguely alludes to some who would destroy aeormatons.

-he is DEEPLY motivated by curiosity. he seems goddamn powered by it.

-as i expected, he's well aware of aeor's truth. he thinks it was beautiful, but also calls it terrible.

-also as i expected, he notably dodges any of frog's questions about their culture and ways of existence from aeor. he admires her curiosity but is deeply adamant she find her own way, says whatever she decides in this life is what she was meant for, not her aeorian life.

-here's a big one: when frog asks if their folk had family, "a gulf between them, grows cold". he then tries to get stoic again. it seems his primary motivation is he wants to create more of them, to create more aeormatons free of war, to have metallic family - it is the literal only thing he requests of frog, that if she wishes, she can find the secret to their creation. i find this a very interesting parralel to ludinus and how he refuses to be the parent of his metaphor and yet wishes to guide exandria's future and clearly agonizes over family when he himself feels he doesnt have one.

-does not seem to like tomb raiders. he mentions plunderers of ancient sites who would take not only aeormaton remains but any old tech and seems not exactly happy about it. im sure he feels a Lot about that for obvious reasons.

-has a quick temper, maybe specifically about vasselheims ways.

[sicknessbysalem]

Novemetober (Rescheduled) | Day Twenty

@monthofsick | day twenty: late caretaker (i think i did this right)

introducing some new ocs to take a break from Novak. meet Lucien, the rookie police officer Vanessa (Willow’s girlfriend) has taken as a little brother almost. lucien is very anti-help and vanessa doesnt care, basically

if you want to see more of this oc or any other, PLEASE SEND ME A REQUEST!

tw for emeto, resistance, fever, sick on the job

It's 4:47p.m.

He should be on his way to the station. The 6 to 6 shift. He didn't drive, he needed to catch the bus, and then the train.

Instead, he's half ready, coughing as he tried to catch his breath while leaning over the toilet, spitting after a sudden round of vomiting he hadn't been expecting to endure.

He hadn't been expecting the headache he woke up with, or the ache in his muscles, or the way that moving made his head spin.

Of course, he couldn't skip out on work. That would put everyone on tonights shift at a disadventage. And he couldn't do that to them.

He was shaking. He could feel the way his whole body was almost vibrating, like he had a current of electricity was running constantly through every vein in his body.

He needed to pull himself together. He needed to get dressed, he needed to catch the bus, the train, get to the station. Regardless of how terrible he was feeling.

-

Vanessa looked at the clock. It was quarter after six. Lucien wasn't here yet. That was unusual.

She picked up her phone, dialing Lucien's number. The phone rang, and rang, and eventually went to voicemail.

"Hey, Jonah," Vanessa said, grabbing her fellow officer's shoulder as he walked past her desk, "Have you heard from Officer Carpentier?"

Jonah thought about it for a second, before shaking his head, "No, I haven't heard from him. Ask Cap maybe?"

Vanessa groaned, tossing the file she was looking over back onto her desk. "Fine."

She got up, heading to Captain Baxter's office.

SHe knocked on the door.

"Officer McAllister?" Captain Baxter looked up from his own paperwork, "Are you here to get your clearance to go on patrol?"

"First of all, I would love to go on patrol, or literally anywhere that isn't this boring ass office," Vanessa said, "But, no. Actually, I was wondering if Officer Carpentier called in?"

"Not to me he hasn't," Captain Baxter shrugged, "Your rookie's a no show?"

"He doesn't seem like he would be a no show, like on purpose," Vanessa said, "But maybe."

A knock on Captain Baxter's door.

"Hey, Vanessa," Jonah is popping his head in the door, "Carpentier is here."

"Great, yeah," Vanessa said, "So, can I go on-?"

"Yes, Officer McAlliser," Captain Baxter said, "Stay out of trouble."

Vanessa stepped out of the office, offering a welcoming smile to Lucien.

"Ready to go on patrol Luci? Vanessa asked.

-

Something seemed off. Vanessa always prided herself in her perception of things. But Lucien was a special case. He was good at hiding things. Vanessa knew that.

"Are you feeling alright, Lucien?" Vanessa asked, her tone laced with concern as they parked at the riverside.

Lucien forced a smile. "I'm fine, Vanessa. Just a little tired."

Vanessa didn't buy it. She had known Lucien long enough to see through his facade. But she decided not to press him further, trusting that he would confide in her when he was ready.

As they patrolled the streets, Vanessa couldn't shake off the feeling of unease. Lucien's casual attire, a stark contrast to his usual professional demeanor, only added to her worry. But she chose to focus on their duty, hoping that the distraction would alleviate whatever was troubling Lucien.

Their radio crackled to life, dispatching them to a disturbance at a nearby apartment complex. Vanessa glanced at Lucien, who nodded in response. They arrived at the scene to find a heated argument between two neighbors escalating into a physical altercation.

Vanessa and Lucien intervened, defusing the situation before it could escalate further. As they escorted the individuals involved to their respective residences, Vanessa stole a concerned glance at Lucien, who looked paler than usual.

"Are you sure you're okay, Lucien?" Vanessa asked once they were back in the patrol car.

Lucien hesitated for a moment before nodding. "I'm just a bit tired, that's all. Nothing serious."

Vanessa sighed inwardly, wishing Lucien would open up to her. But she respected his privacy, knowing that he would share if and when he felt comfortable.

They continued their patrol in silence, the only sound being the occasional chatter over the radio. As the night wore on, Lucien's condition seemed to worsen, his usual composure slipping with each passing hour.

Around 2:30, Vanessa figured heading back to the station would be better. They could do their paperwork and then Lucien could be out by six.

As they got to the department, Vanessa got out of the car. It took Lucien a little longer.

“I’m going to use the bathroom,” Lucien told Vanessa, “Then I’ll catch up.”

-

Lucien started feeling nauseous halfway through the patrol. The nausea that had hit him so suddenly that evening, before he came in, was nothing to how he felt now.

His head spun, his body hurt, and his stomach was gurgling and churning in such a way he hoped Vanessa didn’t hear.

“I’m going to use the bathroom,” Lucien had forced out, if only barely. “Then I’ll catch up.”

Maybe taking a breather in the bathroom would settle his stomach. He was off the next three days. He could be as sick as he liked as soon as he got home. But for now, he had to stay healthy. Or at the very least, appear he was in perfect condition.

The button up shirt he tried to put on before work squeezed his stomach back then, but even the loose Portland police department sweatshirt he was wearing felt like a vice grip on his stomach. He knew Vanessa was already suspicious by his attire, but he was begging internally that she second guessed herself.

As Vanessa and Lucien stepped into the station, Lucien's stomach churned violently, threatening to betray him at any moment. He forced a tight-lipped smile at Vanessa before excusing himself, his steps hurried as he made his way to the bathroom.

Once inside, Lucien's legs gave way beneath him as a wave of nausea washed over him like a relentless tide. He staggered to the nearest stall, collapsing to his knees just in time as his stomach revolted with a vengeance.

The retching sounds echoed off the tiled walls, each heave sending shards of agony through Lucien's body. His forehead beaded with sweat, his breaths coming in ragged gasps as he struggled to regain control.

His stomach heaved again, bile rising in his throat like a bitter tide. Lucien gagged, his whole body convulsing as he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, a silent testament to his suffering.

Lucien’s world was suddenly reduced to the searing pain in his gut and the relentless cycle of vomiting.

Finally, the ordeal came to an end, leaving Lucien trembling and weak, his face drained of color as he slumped against the stall door. He wiped his mouth with toilet paper, his fingers trembling as he reached for the flush handle. But reaching forward, leaning forward, made his stomach lurch again. So, he leaned over the toilet, lips parted as saliva dripped into the bowl.

The shaking started again. The spinning in his head. The occasional clench of his stomach. Everything started again, telling Lucien he was going to vomit again.

Vomit again he did. His stomach lurched, he heaved so hard. Nobody was coming. Just as he liked it. He could puke his guts up, feel temporarily better, and finish the day. No additional concerns necessary.

He heaved, the type of heave he was sure started in the pit of his stomach and roared up his throat. He felt liquid come from his nose, he sniffled between vomiting rounds on instinct and could feel the acid going back up.

He clutched his stomach with his free hand, willing it to be over soon.

-

As minutes turned into what felt like an eternity, Vanessa's concern for Lucien grew with each passing second. She couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that something was wrong, her instincts as both a police officer and an unofficial older sister kicking into overdrive.

Abandoning her paperwork, Vanessa rose from her desk, determined to check on Lucien. She made her way to the bathroom, her footsteps quickening with each step, heart pounding in her chest.

Pushing open the door, Vanessa's heart lurched at the sight before her. The air was thick with the acrid scent of vomit. Lucien himself was kneeling, leaning over the toilet. Vanessa could see how bad he was shaking. She also saw the way his breaths shook, saliva dripped out of his mouth. She saw everything.

"Lucien," Vanessa whispered, her voice filled with concern as she approached him slowly.

Lucien didn’t look at her. Vanessa could see the way a hand stayed over his stomach, Lucien was trying to gauge whether or not he was going to be sick.

"I'm sorry, Vanessa. I didn't mean to worry you."

Vanessa's heart clenched at the sound of Lucien’s voice. Ripped absolutely raw by vomiting. Without a moment's hesitation, she brushed some bangs away from his suddenly sweaty face.

“You’re burning up,” Vanessa said, adjusting her touch to get a better feel of his forehead and cheeks. “Yeah. You have a fever.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucien tells her again.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Lucien," Vanessa murmured, her voice gentle but firm, she shifted her hands to pet his hair, "You're not alone in this. I'm here for you, no matter what."

But Lucien recoiled from her touch, his shoulders tense with self-doubt. "I don't deserve your comfort, Vanessa. I should be able to handle this on my own."

Vanessa's heart ached at Lucien's words, knowing all too well the weight of his self-imposed expectations. She did the same thing. She was sure it drove Willow up the wall most of the time. But she refused to let him suffer in silence, not when he needed her the most.

"You don't have to do this alone, Lucien," Vanessa said, her voice unwavering. "Let me help you."

Reluctantly, Lucien allowed himself to lean back against Vanessa, his defenses crumbling under the weight of his exhaustion. He felt the warmth of her presence enveloping him like a comforting embrace, soothing the raw edges of his frayed nerves.

“Come on,” Vanessa said, “Let’s head to the break room.”

Lucien nodded.

As Vanessa gently guided him out of the bathroom, her protective instinct kicking into overdrive, she was going through her list of things to grab. To give him.

She led him to the break room, guiding him to the couch. She brought over the trash can, just in case, and grabbed a cup of water for Lucien.

“Here, try this,” Vanessa said, sitting beside Lucien and rubbing his shoulder, “When six comes, you can come home with me, okay? Willow and I will take care of you.”

Lucien's throat tightened at Vanessa's words, a mixture of gratitude and guilt swirling within him. He accepted the cup of water with a shaky hand, taking a small sip to quell the persistent nausea churning in his stomach.

"Thank you, Vanessa," Lucien murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, taking the cup. "But I don't want to be a burden to you and Willow."

Vanessa's expression softened, shifting her hand from rubbing his shoulder to her running her hand through the slight curls of his sweaty shoulder length hair. "You're not a burden, Lucien. You're family. And family takes care of each other, no matter what."

Tears pricked at the corners of Lucien's eyes, overwhelmed by the depth of Vanessa's compassion. Despite his protests, she remained steadfast in her resolve to support him through his ordeal, her unwavering faith in him a beacon of hope in the darkness.

After a few sips of water, he looked at her, and she knew what he was looking for. Vanessa leaned back against the couch, Lucien laid hisbhead on her shoulder.

“I feel sick,” Lucien said, swallowing thick as the water tried to reappear.

Vanessa's heart sank as she felt Lucien's body tense against her, a silent testament to the relentless onslaught of his illness. She wrapped her arm around him, offering what little comfort she could in the face of his suffering.

"I'm here, Lucien," Vanessa whispered, her voice a gentle reassurance amidst the storm raging within him. "Just let it out. I've got you."

With a shuddering breath, Lucien buried his face against Vanessa's shoulder, his body convulsing with another wave of nausea. Then he broke away from her, grabbing the trash can. Vanessa rubbed his back as he heaved, hard. So hard Vanessa wanted to wince.

As Lucien emptied the contents of his stomach into the waiting trash can, Vanessa rubbed soothing circles on his back, offering silent comfort in the face of his suffering. And when the ordeal finally came to an end, leaving Lucien trembling and weak against her, Vanessa knew that they couldn't stay any longer.

"Come on, Lucien," Vanessa said softly, helping him to his feet. "Forget six o’clock. Let's get you home."

“But what about-“

“That cant have a puking officer on duty,” Vanessa shrugged, “And they won’t fire me unless I commit a real felony.”

Despite his protests, Vanessa remained steadfast in her resolve to take care of him, guiding him out of the break room and towards the exit. With each step, Lucien leaned heavily against her, his strength depleted by the relentless onslaught of his illness.

As they stepped out into the cool night air, Vanessa felt a sense of relief wash over her. They may have been leaving work early, but in that moment, nothing else mattered except getting Lucien home safe and sound.

“I texted Willow, she said she has some medicine for you,” Vanessa said, “Just try and rest until I get you to our apartment.”

“I can go back to mine,” Lucien offered.

Vanessa shook her head, “No Luci, you’re coming to ours. Willow and I will take care of you. Just let us, for once?”

And Lucien is too worn out, too nauseous, to disagree.

[melljam]

gosh this facial expression samuel makes is sooo interesting to me >_<

looong analysis below

only skimmed over some chapters to find it so im not sure if this is necessarily always the case but so far, all the instances ive seen of it have been in relation to samuels inferiority complex and jake

all of situations have been ones where samuel is evidently unstable (because of jake) and yet he can still look strangely calm while being in a manic state , which is considerably unsettling and adds some depth to his unwell behavior beyond “i will beat your ass reeeaally hard” (which is fun but ouhh the psychological aspects of his fights are so interestingg)

-> first image (and its context)

from chapter 311, samuels cruel treatment of the big deal girls prompt them to protest the conditions that he is forcing them to work in to make a 100k won in a month. yeonhui tries to bring up jake and how he would never do this to them and samuel immediately responds by trying to hit her (thank god jerry intervened)

when i first read this chapter and saw this scene i was so enamored with it because oh my god . its just so indicative of samuels character and how much his feelings of inferiority get to him. he doesnt care that he was about to hit yeonhui in front of everyone, he only knows that she compared him to jake and insinuated that jake is better than him, which strikes his sorest spot in the worst way possible (and no one truly understands why)

samuel got a lot more expressive after the big deal arc but his eyes in that picture say so much . he is brimming with rage and jealously over the mere mention of jakes name and comparison to him. the implication that jake could have done better, would have done better, than him just destroys any of his self esteem and sense of achievement while also bringing back all of the grief over feeling like he is no longer on equal footing with jake. he is being reminded of how he is now below him in every aspect (morally, family-wise due to gapryong, and later on in terms of strength since he loses against jake)

he is overwhelmed with his emotions and the only way that it can play out on his face is with a seemingly neutral expression displaying a crazed ache deeply ingrained into his eyes

-> second and third image

from chapter 466, during jake and samuels fight while samuel is drugged to give him a heightened feeling of inferiority and subsequent mania (or ‘frenzy’ as the official translation puts it)

all of his insecurities and terrible feelings are being intensified and it is absolutely not being helped by the fact he is fighting jake, the catalyst for his inferiority complex.

he is also remembering (and experiencing in his delusions) the sequence of events that happened during middle school: meet his real dad and committing patricide, learning that jake is gapryongs son, failing to receive guns approval twice, and becoming goos secret friend

(okay this is a side tangent but i love how this chapter was written to include all of that. the scene where samuel chokes alexander and sees his dad in him, the way he saw middle school jake and his own middle school self after re-realizing that jake is gaps son, the way he keeps on quoting people to show how much those events still affect him. its all written so gut wrenchingly well. i love the mental anguish)

he is effectively feeling his worst throughout this entire fight, and his face spells it outright for us

the second picture is samuels reaction to jake grabbing his collar after he ‘sentences him to death’ and lands a bunch of hits on him in tandem. this is probably looking waaaay too deep into it (but so is this entire post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) however it almost like samuel is being reminded of his perceived inferiority simply by being stopped by jake. even though he cant be gapryongs son, he can still be stronger than him, right? right? jake continually disprove this and no matter how strong samuel gets, jake always seems to come out on top regardless.

in the third picture samuel is stepping away from his frenzied insanity (and the terrible, terrifying facial expressions that he makes because of it) to quietly question why it is that the universe has put jake in front of him to make him feel awful all over again, with a similar neutral face that displays undertones of distress and misery

and here he says it directly! jake shows up and makes samuel feel pathetic no matter what happens and its just … so perfect how his solemn face reflects how utterly defeated he is by that feeling

the way he is stepping on jake here, quite literally on top of him, yet he still feels lesser to him. he can beat jake up all he wants while smiling but at the end of it? he is still left with a burning feeling of inferiority that never gets resolved. and he can only wonder why that is

the frustration from not being able to figure it out overwhelms him, and thus causes the sudden change of his expression to a serious one. this is the issue that plagues his entire character and so it is only fitting that he reserve a special look for it; one of somber neutrality as the only way he can express his feelings of defeat and inadequacy

-> stylistic analysis

so all of that covered the context which surrounds that facial expression and the psychological aspects of it. while that serves to make the expression impactful as the culmination of all of those factors, the way that his face is artistically depicted also plays into its effect

i mentioned the look in his eyes before when discussing the first image, so lets just build onto that point of a crazed ache in his eyes by explaining why it evokes that feeling. his irises are small and much of the white of his eyes are showing, which is a stylistic choice that usually signals to us that a characters mental health has plummeted

his eyes are also shown to look like that in his other frenzied faces, but the contrast of his crazed eyes with the rest of his emotionless features distinguishes it well

and the second artistic choice i would like to point out is the use of lighting and shadows to depict his face to the audience

shadows are a very useful tool for artists to convey emotion on seemingly neutral or indifferent expressions as a little signal for the reader that the character is seriously ticked off but attempt to not show it

in all of the images, the light source seems to behind his head and leaves his face in the shadows. this lighting conveys a sense of seriousness along with undertones of horror. his somber expression is incredibly unsettling in contrast to all of the emotional turmoil he is feeling, and the use of shadows excels at giving us this visual cue

and its very interesting how the lighting stays consistent whenever he makes a face, signaling a certain emotion (of disdain? of grim comtemplation?? something along those lines i think) each time

final thoughts

well, my first final thought is that i wrote too much about this and somehow managed to overanalyze three panels into a little mess of angsty mush but it was sure fun :)

but secondly, i love how ptj does facial expressions, of course samuels faces in particular (this whole post is about him after all) since he is always so incredibly expressive. i love unhinged samuel, i love his ‘actively in mental decline’ faces. so freaky, so awesome ^_^

third and lastly, the parallels for samuel throughout the story are so, so interesting. i had to resist multiple tangents that go waaay beyond the scope of this post while writing it because of the sheer amount of stuff i found out i wanted to write about. so i will likely be writing more about that stuff in the future :p

thanks for reading !!!

[cloudycleric]

heyy dude i’m watching ur podcast video rn and i saw some of ur posts about it can you please go more into detail about ur thoughts on this charming man and byler cus i feel like i’ve been screaming into the void about the smiths LMAO. i didn’t really get it w this charming man but i wanna see what you think 🙏

okay so im guessing youre asking for an explanation on this charming man & dont worry i have also been screaming the smiths into the void lately. okay so my thing with this charming man is like, it doesnt fit entirely into the perspective of either will or mike but there are certain parts that i think are just so fucking byler. i think mainly the admiration that the speaker has for the charming man is what really sells it for me; it is very very clear in the song that the speaker has a real deep & passionate admiration for him (& maybe even a crush but i dont think morrissey is ready for that talk yet & also, as a jewish person, he can go to hell.)

we got the first verse & ough DOGGIE this one is real byler coded. "puncture bicycle on the hill side desolate" could be a lot of things but the specific bicycle imagery sticks out to me a lot for obvious reasons i'm sure, originally thinking i was going to talk about how the lyric could parallel the swing set meeting since mike too in a way was left stranded looking for help during that moment before he went up to will,

BUT, i think it fits in even better when you consider will's absence from hawkins. "punctured bicycle on the hill side desolate" could also be imagery of will's bike, because god knows where it is now, & mike is seeing it just in complete misery.

the next line "will nature make a man of me yet?" okay when i tell you i have an interpretation for this one i MEAN IT. nature, in this line pretty obviously, refers to forces beyond one's control, & i once again think this is coming from mike's perspective (thought it could be easily applied to will's). okay hold onto your horses because this one is the wildest in the west

"will nature make a man of me yet?" – mike wheeler's internalized homophobia makes him unable to view himself as a real "man." by the forces of nature taking will away from him, perhaps he views this as a way of the universe trying to make him "man up" or whatever. i know that one makes me giggle so much. it hits harder if you think about it in terms of mike's obliviousness because ough thats so good, but it also can apply to will in the same way now that he's been separated from mike. but im sorry from mikes perspective it hits so much harder

OKAY now we're moving to will's territory. the next line i want to talk about is "why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?" a big theme in this charming man is how the charming man is of a very higher class than the speaker, which can definitely be said about will & mike. so, this could be explaining will talking about how mike's situation is different than his, i have a deeper better explanation,

i think this line could refer to "why think about all the fucking shitty things ever when mike is so great." it's super implied in the show that mike & will always turn to each other when theyre going through a rough period, or that mike is always protective of will/wants to make sure that he's okay, so i think this may be will talking about why he should deal with the outside world, in terms of trauma or homophobia or whatever, when he can just chill out with mike & not have to worry about all that

okay, so. i don't want to talk about the "i would go out tonight" line because i don't really think it applies here & that's okay. but what i WILL go over next is the "this man said, 'it's gruesome, that someone so handsome should care,' " line because all i can think of when i see this scene is in s4 when mike & will are burying the body in the desert & will cant help himself but stare at mike. it's probably really "gruesome" (fucking AUGHHHH terrible) that someone as handsome as mike should care about him & his problems when he thinks that the probability of them getting together really sucks. even though his personality is great too, mike is a very good looking guy i will say myself & i have also thought this since i was a youngin. so the way that he is just so beautiful to will & also to anyone with eyes makes it even worse to be pining over him because god, he's just so fucking pretty?

"jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place" once again talking about the difference in class between the speaker & the charming man. though i wouldn't go as far to describe will as a pantry boy. but guess what? will never knew his place until after he found mike.

okay finally the last two lines of the chorus but i analyze them out of order;

the "he knows so much about these things" is like OUGH that is VAN SCENE BEHAVIOR. i could 100000% see mike going "will knows so much about these problems i have & exactly how to fix them" or whatever, & in a metaphorical way you could make the argument that will is trying to communicate something along the lines of "return the ring" but trying to get a 1:1 match for that line is a bit tricky & a lot of a stretch since will is trying to convince mike to go for it, BUT what im trying to get at is that the line could parallel how will is giving love advice to mike in the same way that the charming man does to the speaker, & the speaker is as entranced with the charming man as mike is with will

I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION! i should really organize this into a manifesto or something

[lucystark12]

what am i doing to cope with the byler drought? reading richard siken and pointing out all of the byler coded things, of course!

this is mike in reference to fighting with will- hence “it isn’t over.” i’d imagine this being a thought of his after they fight next season about halfway in between still being mad at will and realizing why he cares that will lied about the painting.

“green yellow, green blue” could this be more on the nose? hello? this is how their both always going to be tired together, and the line “it’s green. it’s still green” is the poetry equivalent of the classic wattpad “it’s you. it’s always been you.”

i’m sure if you are a literature queen who was on byler tiktok in 2022 you’d recognize this passage (aka the reason i bought this book in the first place). this might be the most “you’re the heart” scene coded thing i’ve ever seen. this could be interpreted from both of their perspectives-

mike: he’s listening to will confess his love to him under the pretense of it being el’s feelings. “he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” it’s up to interpretation whether or not this confession from will elicited any kind of feeling from mike, but if it did, that next line about him feeling like he did something terrible is SO spot on. in the next line, it talks about choking down the feeling. SO mike coded. hello? the last line is mike kinda having an “oh” moment.

will: mike obviously won’t tell will that he loves him. then we have will giving this entire monologue about feeling like a mistake, aka having done something horrible like siken describes. will is quite literally trying not to tell mike he loves him by pretending to be speaking from el’s point of view.

also, the line “like a prayer for which no words exist” churchgate who?

in this one i see a bit of will in the upside down. the first bit of it draws comparison to the fantastical nature of their d&d campaigns, with the line about the princess “just getting to be a princess” reminiscent of el being able to love mike freely without having to worry about the scrutiny from the people around them. will is having to cope with the weight of his feeling towards mike while mike gets to be the hero- he gets to “have it all”- love and be loved freely.

below that is will in california, where he’s essentially having a tolerate it by taylor swift moment. we had this heartfelt goodbye, and now i haven’t heard from you for months? what happened? do you even care about me?

now, “inside your head, you hear a phone ringing, and when you open your eyes, only a clearing with a deer in it. hello deer.” obviously mike spent the better part of the time between season 3 and 4 trying to reach will via phone but wasn’t able to, likely because of vecna messing with time or even the phones themselves. mike in his head thinks he’s hearing a phone ring, aka will, but it turns out to just be “a deer” which i am going to take very out of context and use to say “a dear” aka a letter from el. “hello dear”- which serves to say- okay, you’re hear, cool, but you aren’t what i asked for.

below that is will and vecna presumably in season four as vecna is construing every memory will has with mike and will is forced to remind himself of how mike truly is and make a mock up of him to save himself from vecna.

this one literally has a margin note from the first time i read it in 2023 when i wasn’t even in a stranger things phase. this one is obviously mike arriving in california and seeing will- he’s frightened, he’s realizing “wait, maybe this is real now.” we even get will’s drawings mentioned.

“this doesn’t look that much different from home” is because will is there, and will is his home. “the black sky and all those lights” presumably references a movie set which i am interpreting as somewhere were everything is formulaic. mike having to use “the power of love” to save el in a literal formulaic movie trope, even though he DOESNT LOVE HER. this isn’t home, this isn’t where he can be himself with will, this is where society expects him to conform and put on an act.

“where we pulled the bodies out of the lake and dressed them in warm clothes again” feels very much like reviving a deceased person. and where was will’s body discovered? A LAKE. this is a young mike having a dream of finding will safe and happy and coping with will’s presumed death. “how it was late” it was nighttime.

“it’s not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere” reads to me a bit like a person’s life, mike interpreting this “dream” of his where will comes home safely as a continuation to something. where there doesn’t have to be an end to his and will’s story.

“policeman’s radio” hopper mentioned

the bottom of that reads to me as will and mike during season for OR after their happy ending, with this whole poem being mike recounting his grief over losing will in a love confession type monologue.

anyways!! that was really fun

[angstics]

Patrick and Ian play Charles and Erik like they’re a divorced couple who are nice to each other but still passive aggressive.

James and Micheal play a version in which Charles is accidentally seducing Erik and Erik is literally daydreaming about conquering the world together and kiss but Charles isn’t interested in either of those things.

IN MY OPINION

Yeah they are definitely not perfectly aligned 😭 tbf they are 40 years (and i think a timeline?) apart from each other. To me older and younger Charles and Erik align in being obsessed with their friendship, even more than each other as people. Even their ideologies cant get in the way of a cheeky hangout. I honestly got the sense Charles wanted Erik with him way more than Erik did, in First Class. Until the end, which is curious…

The scene in first class where magneto betrays charles is good and bad at the same time. This turned out to be a bigger rant than i anticipated. It will not make sense.

What i dont like: they dont set up “i dont trust you in my brain” at all. I understand that Erik takes after Shaw, but the movie framing it as if it’s Nazi-apologist ideology is crazy. Also isnt Erik’s family probably being “normal” complicate his bias? Lol. I dont feel like they set up the “Frankenstine’s creature” thing well, since we dont see them post-meeting — it is very important to their alignment that Shaw “created” Charles but Charles and Mystique “created” Magneto. That dichotomy appears then disappears real quick. What man is Erik? Why are they trying to make me think Erik is taking Shaw’s place uncritically?? When Erik implies that the source of his power is Both his love for his mother and his anger/pain over her death To Shaw. “We are the same but you killed my mother.” Like did he not get his own implication or was that just a relatively shallow revenge thing. It doesnt do a good job of portraying the tragedy of Erik choosing anger for his own sake. It’s mostly just like. Fine whatever im gone now. Instead focusing on its impact on Charles. Which actually leads me to things i do like.

I like: that Charles is SO fucked up over Erik killing Shaw and taking his place. He’s soooo fucked up over it that the film overlays the coin going through Shaw with Charles and experiencing that pain while in his head. I mean it makes sense that Magneto would betray him like this, I just wish it was better set up. I wish the convergence of identity (Shaw v Charles) was better portrayed — though I suppose it would make sense that Magneto would see them as black and white sides… If so, it wouldve been nice to see that conflict while he was in the school. He seemed to be chilling… and pretty happy. Just doesnt make sense why hed switch if he showed an ability to compromise through out the film without complaint. Anyhow i also liked how when he accidentally hits Charles, he drops EVERYTHING. INCLUDING HIMSELF! He’s vulnerable and lashes out YET EVEN THEN LISTENS TO CHARLES, when he realizes he’s right that it wasnt moira who did it but himself. Omfg. It’s this redeeming moment of claiming their relationship as a Forever thing always more important than a war with humans (which Erik abandons to hold Charles) — which they Do demonstrate as their older selves when they constantly team up with each other lol. And I fully believe Erik couldnt have stopped Jean in X3, at least he didn’t think she would do that to Charles (per his surprise and regret). Do we ever go back to the end of X3 or no? Anyway i actually loved how Erik saw him and Charles as the same, and Charles broke that fantasy with a SMILE, while in TERRIBLE PAIN. Charles essentially breaking the partnership is a lot more satisfying than Magneto doing it. His realism is interesting since Magneto sees it as idealism — when Magneto isnt a realist, he’s a Doomer. Makes you think

Ok final thoughts is that they didnt set up Magneto’s betrayal well BUT it makes sense since they do work within the rules of the characters. Theres a tragedy that isnt properly portrayed. But love is forever. Yess.

[suffarustuffaru]

Heinkel Astrea himself >:D

YALL REALLY WENT FOR ME WITH THIS ONE.... OKAY. LETS GO.

Sexuality Headcanon: i think it could be one of several possibilities. he could be straight... he could be on the aroace spectrum... he could be bi and not even know... but we do know what he is for certain..... hes louannasexual................................................

A ship I have with said character: heinkel/louanna PLS THEYRE MARRIED OKAY......... louanna really looked at the astrea family Baggage and still went "im still gonna marry this man <3".... and like the way heinkel speaks about louanna T^TT "reinhard is me and louannas treasure..." "dont take away louannas way home"... LIKE FUCK MAN..... heinkel may be a piece of shit now but he took like those marriage vows of like in sickness and in health SERIOUSLY. its been like twenty years and hes been searching for a cure for louanna all this time. it drives me BONKERS...

A BROTP I have with said character: ......................im pretty sure you know what im gonna say LMAO. YEAH. YEAH. ROWAN AND HEINKEL?? ROWAN IS THE BEST POSSIBLE BROTP THAT COULDVE EVER HAPPENED FOR HEINKEL. deadbeat alcoholic dads of extremely powerful teenage sons club??? theyre literally insane. i love how they first meet because its the most pathetic thing ever. like rowan just seeing heinkel half-dead in some ditch and just deciding to help this random ass guy??? rowan dragging heinkel away like when you grab a cat by its scruff??? heinkel going "this guy is smiling at me but its not mocking... i dont know what the fuck it means" because heinkel doesnt know what fucking FRIENDLINESS is anymore...... theyre insane. im excited for the development thats gonna come out of them meeting. they foil so much T^T

A NOTP I have with said character: anyone other than louanna :((((((((((((((( pls..... pls dont separate them shes already in a coma :((((((((((((((((((((((((( ......except ill make an exception for rowan and heinkel because. they have 95 mental illnesses and theyre ALWAYS making it everyone elses problem... theyd be so horrible together and i can only see it happening if theyre drunk and the world is literally gonna end. they are Terrible. but they Would be entertaining...

A random headcanon: heinkel gets sober in all the timelines where wilhelm is erased <33 because its like. wilihelm gets erased, heinkel and reinhards relationship is better, so its like.... things are a little better for heinkel now. obviously his whole complex feelings on reinhard are either lessened or erased entirely, but i also feel like heinkel got at least Some of his insecurities because of how wilhelm probably was as a dad. and bc wilhelms gone - WELP nice going heinkel half of your insecurities are gone!! so, well, maybe heinkel wants to be fully sober and present for reinhard now. he wants to be in reinhards life as his dad...

General Opinion over said character:

if i met him irl i would immediately pull a pridebaru and poison heinkel's drink. HOWEVER, i am also screaming and crying over heinkel's heartbreaking tragic corruption arc where he goes from a very earnest and hardworking person whos trying his best with all the shitty cards handed to him. and then he turns into *GESTURES TO PRESENT DAY HEINKEL*

i need him to get his shit together and have the most GRUELING, PAINFUL, NAIL BITING redemption arc of all time. he's just so fucking pathetic 24/7 it's like... like im sitting here and reading every scene hes in and im going, god hes like one of those sad dirty exhausted stray dogs you see backed into a corner and theyre just like growling and snapping at everything that comes close. like we vaguely know that its Possible for him to get his shit together at least a little bit (see: pride if), and we Know that heinkel used to be a very affectionate person to louanna and reinhard, and the fact that tappei said he'd make heinkel the mc if subaru didnt exist indicates that heinkels Probably gonna have some insane development, especially given the debut of the rowan-heinkel dynamic... i cant wait for it T^TT i just like how hes Terrible... but hes also clearly very human. what a well-written character. i hope he goes for anime onlys kneecaps in season three.

[transheimdall]

freyr/heimdall hcs bc im delusional and feeling particularly insane abt them tonight

freyrs a giant cuddler while heimdall isnt .

but contrary to popular belief heimdall does still love it . he will put on a big show like its the worst thing in the world but give him a few minutes and he'll chill out a bit

freyr will also wake him up with breakfast . heimdall will complain about how terrible the food is but will eat it anyways

they will bicker about literally nothing just for fun . it almost always makes everyone around them nervous

because of you by nickelback thats all i really have to say on how i perceive them but also in that same note starstruck by sorry but ALSO cirice by ghost

if heimdall wakes up first, he typically wakes freyr up by standing at his side of the bed and staring at him disappointedly until his ass does indeed wake up

freyr gets heimdall into drugs for shits and giggles. this man will convince him to smoke a joint.

^^^ the first time freyr actually got heimdall to partake in anything heimdall wound up greening out hard, got super overwhelmed between weed and foresight then promptly passed out after half an hour

^^^^^^^^ freyr laughs about it now and heimdall gets pissy when he does

have i mentioned bpd heimdall yet bc bpd heimdall

like bad bpd heimdall. bro gets jealous and pissy if freyr stops paying attention to him for longer than a few moments and he will make a gigantic scene about it

freyr always makes it up to him one way or another (because if he doesnt heimdall will give him the silent treatment)

heimdalls a sucker for subtle shows of affection though . he'll pour a drink for freyr first at any big gatherings and maybe even occasionally very rarely hold his hand or give him a little kiss

final for this post at least but sometimes freyr convinces heimdall to get high with him and they make fun of ppl together as entertainment

[ka1t0-s]

I've been loving nightbringer so much so far-- I think it's the first time in obey me history I've caught up to the last lesson that's out (which will probably change w due time, I'm terrible at keeping my cards lvled up) and the story has been fun for me so far. I havent played obey me since like early 2022-- so this is quite nostalgic yet fresh for me.

but anyways, the music battles r fine, controls weirded me out at first but I can manage. it was more jarring how the songs used were remixed and nightcored ver. of obey me songs. rlly putting the night in nightbringer I see.

however, speaking on the plot, I find that it had some missed potential? like no one else would care tbh and I can understand why but. THE DOMESTICALITY?? THE BROTHERS SETTLING INTO HOL??? missed opportunity may I say I'd EAT THAT UP!! 

like screw (affectionately, I dont hate this game) the "oh we had it modified to suit our tastes" and now everyone's room looks exactly like how they do in present time. I do understand why they do, and this isnt a case of me being like "grrr they are using the same assets!! they're so lazy boo blah blah blah" as for how rarely weve seen their room in the main story it doesnt matter. its just been a few messily scenes.

but NO. show me asmo fretting over how his room isnt pretty enough. how he needs flowers decorating his room, or vines, or gahh-- anything with some life and freshness and beauty in here because his pink bedsheets are NOT enough.

give lucifer considering his room fine and then instantly stumbling across a cursed item shop, buying some if not most of the stock and then spending a solid hour or two muttering to himself about how this should go here, or how disappointing it is that an item's too big for the spot he pictured it.

let me watch as satan buys up half the bookstore and instead of placing them on his half full shelves, start to slowly pile em up on his floor. LET ME SEE SATAN SLOWLY START THE BOOK PILE PROIR TO HIS ROOM BEING COVERED END TO END IN BOOKS!!!

or mammon. like cmon this man did NOT always have a pooltable or car in his room. show me how he gets a car, or more importantly how it ends up in his room. I'd always assumed his room was connected to a garage of sorts, but seeing as his is on the second floor I doubt that to be the case anymore. fr tho how did he get it in there? magic or smth? have barb teleport it in??

the twins... well I think they have the most believable room of the boys. they're twins, they want to share a room, they have it modified to look both red and purple, compared to whatever colors it was before. overall, they dont do much in that room, beel works out and sleeps there(obv) and bel also just sleeps and naps in there. they dont have it cluttered or stuff. however, I've always wondered what the area above the beds is. a way to the balcony? a balcony in general? or just a small lounge area? I like to imagine it's a small lounge area w a window for bel to look out of, but hey. their room is fine otherwise, unless i missed something.

and leviathan... ah... levi... first of all. NO WAY HE HAD THAT MANY FIGURES. even if he bought them in the castle he did NOT have that many. the collection in present time is after YEARS UPON YEARS of collecting. I feel like they missed Levi's mark the biggest out of the game. I'm rusty, so bear with me, but I'm positive that celestial realm isnt big on technology, hence simeons utter lack of any. Luke's easy to teach as hes young and it sticks, but not simeon. that and, lucifer is the reason he got into it(according to barbatos on the homescreen in OG!bey me!). plus in the angel event or whatever, they went vagely back to how they were as Angel's, or at the very least how they should of been like as Angel's, that parts in the air as I disliked the event and it was how long ago? so all signs point to him not being a shut in until post fall. but otherwise, I firmly belive that levi woudlnt of found anime until they were in devildom, of which lucifer is tired of seeing him mope about and introduces him to something light hearted and childish (only for him to later slightly regret that decision). I wouldve adored that sweet moment between the two, but alas I'll settle for what I got.

however, I'd live for the game to show me HOW and WHY he sleeps in the tub, ik its cause hes comfy but until I find out why he doesnt have a bed I'm going to firmly belive that HoL only had 5 bedrooms plus the guest one downstairs, and that levi was content taking over the "smaller" of the two washrooms, because he didnt want to be close to the kitchen or downstairs, plus fishtank. like that washroom in that romeo and juliet movie. fishtank washroom. if you know what I mean.

[queernoctis]

9 17 19 30 42 for firsts trio!!! or just sephiroth if 3 stinkers is too many to cook for

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

for sephi it's 100% the reactor scene. i dont even rly remember where but i saw gifs of her poor sad face and thought. oh no. my blorbo.

for ang+gen its a bit harder to say. probably the training room scene?? just the casual easy energy that had with seph was so good.

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that i associate with them.

genseph is like. the entirety of So Much for Stardust by fall out boy for me lol. other than that, my brain has permanently associated genesis with pink pony club by chappel roan lol. angeal i dont have anything specific but i think he'd like classic rock.

19. vices/bad habits

besides their terrible lack of emotional intelligence/conflict resolution skills??

seph - isolating herself, forgetting to eat, terrible sleep schedule. probably the most physically detrimental of all the firsts.

gen - i could see him biting his nails... why he wears his gloves all the time. also a drama whore oh my god the gossip he partakes in

angeal - i know this man has snuck a cigarette or two. also will refuse to replace things until theyre literally falling apart

30. sleeping habits

seph - BAD. works for five days straight before collapsing on angeal's couch and sleeping for 24 hours. if they all have some time off it's a bit better cause they make sure she gets her rest. unironically having sex with ang/gen helps because then she's 1. in a bed, 2. relaxed and 3. feeling loved and safe

gen - room 68 degrees or less, silk sheets and pillowcases, matching pajamas, lavender scent, sleep mask, the works. always jerks off before going to sleep. never in bed before midnight.

ang - old man, in bed by 9. disconnects from screens and likes to read a book or his cooking/gardening magazines for a while in bed. sleeps in his boxers.

42. 3 comfort items

seph - she's the hardest to answer this for lol. i def subscribe to the hc that she doesnt have a lot of personal belongings. they were probably all gifts. a nice pen gen got him. some comfortable lounge clothes angeal got him. a clipping of an internal memo feat. a photograph of a certain blonde anti-shinra agent.

gen - his oldest copy of loveless, some nice noise cancelling headphones,and an old blanket he's had since he was a kid. the blanket stays in his closet most of the time [it doesnt fit his modern, stylish decor At All] but when he's had a rougher day than usual he pulls it out. he swears it still smells like home.

ang - does the buster sword count?? other than that, his camera, and all of his plants.

[yoihino]

You know I wanted to like the pokemon cartoons so bad but it just, it has gotten so bad. Like in the first seasons of all you had your villains and your battles and Ash was bad but that was the point you know? He was a newbie with a big dream and the point was this was his journey to learning about the world and getting better at battling and living and making friends and taking care of and training pokemon.

But just watching the last season, he si so terribly incompetent. He is always failing when it doesn't matter and it will bring a few laughs and always winning when the show calls for it, nevermind whether he deserves it or not. So because I have been dragged to watching all of the new journey series with my little sister all of you now get to hear me complain about it. Warning this is a rant and a vent so if you like the pokemon cartoon you might prefer not to read this.

First of all, the battles. I don't remember how they were in the first seasons because it's been a few years since I last saw them but let me tell ou the ones in this season are just atrocious. No sense of tension, no sense of timing or strategy or what majes battles actually fun to watch.

Tension from wondering whether Ash will win or lose? None, because he is just that good in the early battles and because narratively he can't without finishing the season right there in the later ones.

But what about the enjoyment one can get from a fast-paced, action-packed battle-scene, akin to those in one punch man where even if you know Saitama will win are still enjoyable? Well, the momentum is continually lost because the writers/animators believe their audiemce can't handle having two things happen at the same time, and so the pokemons take each one action at a time, or their trainers call out one after the other as if they were taking turns, the pokemon just sitting in waiting for the orders without moving. There's barely any battle coreography and if not it doesnt' have to have been much thought put into it, with how clumsy and staggering every move feels. At most you have flashy lights and some 'oh' s and 'ah' s from the audience (which are always interrupting to comment on what has just happen and say how cool the characters are, which is tiring but also typical for the genre so I won't comment). Aside from that, Ash doesn't really startegize, aside from some 'spur of the moment' ideas that are treated as genious, and while they tend to be cool in concept and good at their job, are undermined because of how Ash, as a character, is generally treated.

As I mentioned previously, Ash was a character which the kids watching the show dhould have been able to relate to, both from playing the game as well as kids in general. Nevertheless, those characteristics (being childish, oblivious, enamoured with pokemon, excentric in his treatment of pokemon) have been maximised to the ridiculous. This leaves a stupid character which sometimes has good ideas in battle (which are then executed poorly in terms of battle choreography) but is otherwise quite useless and even more oblivious and unaware of the world than he was in the original series. This particularly clashes when battles occur, as he is supposed to be practically a veteran in terms of pokemom battles, and yet he fails at the most basic tasks and battles and must be taught 'lessons' by his opponents. This worked in earlier seasons as he never managed to win the league and his earlier travels were always ignored, but bow these are being actively akcnowledged and brought up constantly, making it much more difficult to believe that a champion could be so incompetent (moreover when the other, much stronger and competent and mature champions also appear alongside him).

Moreover, there's the matter of Ash's team as well. Training is barely shown in a casual manner (as in letting the viewers know that training is a daily occurance), only appearing in dedicated episodes. The choice in having almost all the components of the team be their final evolution when caught is also detrimental, as compounded with the lack of visible training and new moves learned, ends up in feeling as if there is no growth at all. Most of the training is instead centered around special techniques, which lose their awesomeness and newness from overuse soon enough (as they tend to be use in a similar manner each time they appear) and for secondary characters who won't battle at all.

Finally, the villains have also been ruined. Team rocket, once an undoubtedly evil group (even if they were comical and mostly ineffective) have also been reduced to charicature of themselves, rarely attacking or having any plans at all and mostly appearing as background characters or as an outsider point of view. One of the only factors that saved them in the Alola region, their relationships with their pokemon, has also been eliminated, as now (aside from the typical members) they only have a machine which gives them random pokemons for each battle that they then give back (making impossible to form any form of attachement or relationship) and a rodent pokemon (pikachu's newest clone) that when in camera only eats or annoys team rocket, leaving them out of money and food, and that they never even trap or train and only exicts as an obstacle for them, fpr some reason, and that the animators love to show eating for no apparent purpose, as well). As an aside, now at the end of the second season of journey, I can barely remember the last time they actually fought the protagonist.

So all in all I hate this series and I know it could be so so much better, but instead all it has is won battles that feel unearned and are incredibly boring to watch, and characters that don't give the viewer any reason to want to continue watching. I know this doesn't matter and that it is just a kid's show but if you are going to make it anyway the least they could do is make it good.

PS: In the last battle, between Ash and Leonel (aside from being unbearably long at 4 full episodes), has a moment in the confrontation between their last pokemons where the animation triples their budget and while normally this is a good thing it looks so out of place in comparision with all the other battles (and the same battle that had been happening until just a moment before) that it just looks like they are trying to hype you up because they know that otherwise the battle that was supposed to top any and all others is just mid. Pathetic but kudos to the animators because it was really pretty and I wish they had been payed to do that to more battles.

[liquidstar]

absolutely no one asked but im thinking about the “i love emilia” scene and how misunderstood it is by nerdboy fans that kind of miss the whole point of the series. subaru’s rejection of rem is narratively a rejection of the typical isekai power fantasy. 

when subaru was first summoned to lugnica, he instantly assumed he was getting his very own isekai power fantasy, he thought he would have the coolest magic powers and his own harem and whatnot. and well, those tropes are still somewhat there, but its a deconstruction so hes not really getting what he wants. not only is his return by death ability a very very isolating one but also a painful and traumatic one, and its not even a flashy cool superpower, its literally one that only works so well because hes weak enough to constantly die.

so by arc 3 subaru feels somewhat robbed. he always had a bit of a tendency to treat the people around him like characters (literally, he calls people NPCs) and he had a tendency to boil them down to tropes and sort of expect that they act a certain way, that things would go a certain way because hes The Protagonist. but things arent going according to his script. the final nail in the coffin is when he gets humbled by julius at the royal selection hearing, julius is literally the “knight of knights”, an ideal subaru will never have.

subaru claims he entered the royal selection hearing and fought julius for emilia, but emilia sees right through this and rightfully calls him out- she tells him he only did it for himself, that he doesnt really know her, that hes constantly projecting his own will onto her. shes right in every sense, subaru has placed her on a pedistal and can no longer treat her like a person, the “special treatment” he talks about isnt something she wants but he doesnt care what she wants. he only cares about what he thinks she wants, whatever works best for his fantasy. he’s literally objectifying her, its not subtle. so she packs her bags and leaves.

so subaru sulks in the capital while rem watches over him. and rem stays with him and supports him and comforts him despite his terrible fucking disposition- arc 3 subaru becomes borderline unlikable at times, especially when he decides that the witch cult attack on roswaal’s manor is a good thing because he can play the part of the hero and save emilia and force her into a princess role once again (remember shes running for KING). but eventually hes faced with the grim reality of the situation, like, its really fucking drilled into his head how messed up this is. 

and he realizes hes not a hero. he breaks down in front of rem and confesses what a pathetic loser he actually is, how stupid and lame hes been, how much he hates himself. and she tells him that she loves him and....

actually, let me go on a tangent here, im going to skip ahead to arc 4 because... arc 4 subaru actually perfectly mirrors arc 3 rem. so forgive this rambling for not being linear. anyway, in arc 4 subaru has overcome his feelings of entitlement, but he loses rem, the person who encouraged him, the person who he still did love very much (maybe not in the same way, but he did love her). and now he hates himself twice as much. he hates himself so much that hes actively suicidal. 

his most obvious parallel for suicidality is beatrice, yes, but the way in which he’s self-sacrificial parallels rem. rem, who literally calls subaru her “reason to die” and throwing herself into danger- thats the same shit subaru does in arc 4 to save everyone. subaru sees no value in his life in arc 4, neither does rem. for some reason people ignore rem’s inferiority complex, her lack of self confidence due to just being ram’s little sister. ram is LITERALLY the reincarnation of a god so we cant blame rem for feeling a bit... sidelined compared to her twin. her love for subaru is selfless, but selfless to a fault.

but subaru is also a fantasy for rem; one of the series biggest themes is “self recognition through the other”- essentially the way people see you vs the way you see yourself, and how in a sense both of those are equally real. rem literally sees subaru as her hero, she sees him the way that he expected himself to be seen when he came into this world, she sees him as the fantasy he wants to live out, and as her own fantasy as well. she literally tells him about the fantasy life she imagined for them in the future and everything. 

subaru initially offered her this fantasy in an attempt to run away from the events at the manor, he told her they could run away together and live out their lives. and rem rejected him, because her love is selfless, because she understands that this fantasy isnt right- she puts that over her desires. and she still confesses her love, to show them that hes worthy of it for who he is too. 

and through this its made even more clear that rem IS the fantasy, the girl that would stick by you no matter what, worship the ground you walk on, see you as a perfect power fantasy hero no matter how plain you are. but shes still a realistic character, she only works as a fantasy if you refuse to see her as one (like subaru used to) and ignore the fact that her love is also flawed, self-destructive, and co-dependent one. meanwhile emilia is the reality, the girl subaru cant force into a box, wont solely depend on him, and wont be projected upon- she demands to be her own person, with every fiber of her being, because we all know how much emilia hates being treated like someone shes not.

so... after some encouragement from rem, subaru chooses not to take the easy (slothful) route. he tells rem straight-out “i love emilia” and this time he means it in a true way.

and a million nerdboys who wanted to fuck rem cried their eyes out that night because they wanted to live the fantasy vicariously through him, missing the entire point of the series. subaru crushed the fantasy by choosing the reality. 

and the character development really reallt stuck- arc 4 subaru and emilia are frankly kind of adorable. not perfect given the horribly traumatic shit going on, but when emilia had her mental breakdown in the trial and started to act incredibly dependent on subaru, he was absolutely horrified to see her so traumatized because he knows she would never want this- he no longer wants her to depend on him especially at the cost of her on sanity. and subaru would later reference rem’s “i love you” speech to him by giving a similar one to emilia, giving her the same encouragement rem gave him. 

[aemiron-main]

what’s the worst s5 scenario you can possibly imagine

oh good lord. first of all I wish you could have heard the evil little cackle I let out when I saw this ask. second of all, buckle up.

SO. The cul-de-sac. House 011. Jane, Mike, and Will Wheeler. The forever young wedding toast. The funeral scene with the halfassed boyfriend that vaguely resembles mike. Awful.  But let’s go beyond that. Those are terrible, yes, theyre comically, hilariously terrible. But they’re not the worst thing that I can imagine.  Requited byler is the worst thing that I can imagine. Requited byler where will dies, which sounds like a simple and possibly over-talked about concept, but i think it could actually be even more awful than we may have previously considered.  Will wheeler and an apathetic mike towards Will’s death/feelings is an absolute nightmare, yes. But even more than that, a mike who isnt apathetic, who does care, and then loses will and in the end also loses himself is even more painful imo. So, it’s s5. Byler is requited but neither one of them knows that it’s requited yet.  Mike doesn’t understand his feelings for Will well enough to know that it was love, not to say that mike wasn’t in love with Will, but that he doesnt know that it was love, he just figured that’s what being around Will was like, he just figured those feelings were something that came with basking in the sunlight that is (was) will byers.  The final battle rolls around, and will is dying. Will sacrificed himself to save el.  Mike is holding him. It’s just them.  Heroes is playing. Will, considers, for a moment, telling mike that he loves him. But will has always been self-sacrificing, and has always just wanted mike to be happy. That’s the nature of will’s love for mike, it’s selfless. And will knows he’s dying, he’s not stupid, he’s come close to death before and he knows what it feels like- but he also knows that this feels a little bit different because this time, he’s a little bit too far gone, the wounds are a little too deep, and there’s a peace that comes with dying in mike’s arms, knowing (in will’s mind) that mike will go on to be happy with el. And that peace is just enough to make will not want to fight it anymore; he’s spent enough of his life fighting and hiding.  Mike goes on to be with El, under the guise that Will’s feelings about the painting were El’s, because even when mike brings up the painting, El seems confused, but doesn’t question it. The writers trash El’s arc by having her feelings for mike/desire to be with him override her typical logic and intelligence and ability to stand up for herself. The two of them still feel like they have to be a couple because will sacrificed himself for them, so just like with Bob, mike feels like he can’t let will die in vain, especially since mike doesn’t know that the van scene was Will’s feelings & assumes that will genuinely felt that mike and El were in love. So, mike’s love for will is what pushes him back into a relationship where him and el are both out of love and unhappy underneath the surface, as much as they both desperately try to make it work, they really, really do try.  Mike still doesn’t quite understand the fact that his feelings for will were love. He doesn’t quite understand that that’s what love is. He doesn’t understand that love isn’t a marriage and a white picket fence with el; he doesn’t understand that love is mike, alone in his parents’ basement again, isolating himself and not talking to anyone, the post s3 depression but a trillion times worse, he doesn’t understand that love is mike standing on the edge of the quarry cliff again. He doesn’t understand that love is found in the familiarity of the daily trek that he makes to will’s already-existing headstone. He doesn’t understand that love is found in will’s empty bedroom in the old byers house, simply by virtue of mike visiting it, love is found there.  Mike hears love in the radio static as he listens and waits to hear will’s voice through the walkie-talkie every night, praying for history to repeat itself, for another miracle. But he doesn’t understand that it’s love that he hears, because all he hears is static and silence. He hears love, but he does not recognize it. He hears but he doesn’t listen. He doesn’t understand that the love and the silence are one and the same. He doesn’t understand that the “miracle” was him, that the miracle was the fact that he never gave up on Will.  He doesn’t understand that love is the hole that’s torn its way through him. He doesn’t understand that the emptiness that’s hollowed him out? That’s love.   It’s the same feeling he felt the night they pulled will out of the quarry, the same feeling he felt when he held will in his arms and watched him flip to the next viewmaster slide. Mike is only able to recognize love in its absence.  Mike and El are both miserable, deep down. El is mourning her brother. They’re both trying to be in love, but they aren’t, and their attempts to be in love is what keeps them from seeking comfort in the platonic bond that they do have. El is alone, but she isn’t independent. She has hopper, and joyce, and the rest of the party, yes, absolutely, but they’re all mourning too, and she just doesn’t have it in her to confide in them, especially not after max died. (max dying would also make this the Worst ending).  El can’t look at lucas anymore, at least not yet, because she can still see max in his eyes, in his expressions, in the way that the two of them were so close and intertwined that their mannerisms shifted onto eachother naturally, yet they still both remained distinct. El wonders why her and Mike could never remain distinct, why them being together seemed to erase their ability to be separate people- was it a mike thing? Was that just what being close to mike was like? But, she realizes, it can’t be that, because Will and mike were never like that. Will and mike were always still distinct, complimentary, their relationship was two halves of one whole, not two wholes overlapping painfully.  And it dawns on el, in one quiet night, that mike and will were in love. And it dawns on el, that she isn’t in love. But, she thinks she has to be. Because will sacrificed so much for mike and el’s love. So, instead of realizing that she isn’t in love, and instead of moving on so that her and mike can take comfort in eachother platonically, she tries to force herself to be in love. She’s still living for other people. She still isn’t free. And deep down, mike knows that this dynamic isn’t fair to el, but his love for will has gone from something selfless to something selfish, and it’s his love for will and desire to honour will’s memory, to not let his death be in vain, that keeps him with el.  And mike? Mike isn’t stupid. But he might be crazy. He hears the whispers of mike having gone “crazy,” he hears the concern in El’s voice, in his mother’s voice, in Will’s voice in the late hours of the night sometimes. “Crazy together,” and he doesn’t know if it’s his own voice or will’s that he hears. Mike hears love in those moments, but he does not recognize it. 

Mike hears it again, in the wind one night, standing on the cliff at the quarry. Hears love again. He hears it in Will’s voice, again. He hears it in the water. And this time he recgonizes it. This time, he knows it’s Will’s voice, just like he knew when he heard it over the walkie-talkie all those years ago. This time, he listens. He listens and he hears silence. The silence is the love. Mike can only recognize love in its absence, and so, when his own love is absent, when he hits the water, he recognizes it. Love. Only love makes you crazy, and that damn stupid. And maybe Mike is stupid, maybe Mike is crazy, but one thing is for sure; Mike is in love. For those few moments of his own absence, in the absence of his own love, while the viewmaster is stuck between two slides, Mike is in love. 

(this would also be awful because it would cheapen byler into a “doomed lovers/starcrossed lovers” dynamic but in a “taking itself seriously” way unlike m!leven which is poked fun at for being starcrossed lovers and things like el and lucas not being able to seek comfort with eachother/the rest of the party after max’s death and max dying and all of it just ending up ooc and awful and unnecessarily painful.)